#why would he trust her with anything resembling the truth

[orcasoul]

Broken Part 2

Summery: Din is on the brink of death. The only way to save him is to remove his helmet. Surely he'll understand and forgive you... right?

Warnings: swearing, description of injuries, angst, established relationship, use of Y/N.

It has been one month since Din left you as a sobbing mess on Sorgan. One month since he'd had anything resembling a good night's sleep, haunted every time he closes his eyes by the image of your devastated face and shaking frame. Please Din, please don't this! echoing on a loop in his mind. He did what needed to be done, so why can't he seem to move on? He has regained his creed, by the grace of the Living Waters, you're safe, you have friends and a new place to start over. That knowledge should be enough to to ease his conscience, so why can't he let you go?

Why does he suffer every day with crushing guilt and endless longing to see you, touch you, laugh with you? Of course he's not the only one suffering. Grogu cried for three days straight when Din told him you wouldn't be coming back. Even now Grogu seems forlorn. He's quieter than usual, not showing much interest in his toys, not constantly harassing the poor froggy's in his pond. Din tried everything he could think of to distract him, but it was futile. Grogu misses you, and in truth, so does Din. Work has been slow for the past couple of weeks, meaning once Din has dropped Grogu off at school, he's had nothing but time to ruminate on the events that led to this.

Had he been too harsh? Maybe, but although he's consumed by guilt - and a part of him wants to run to you, forgive you and hold you - he still can't see how he'll ever be able to trust you again, trust you to make difficult decisions when necessary. His heart and his mind are being pulled in two different directions. He can't take this anymore. He needs to clear his head. Getting up from the settee, he places his helmet on his head before walking out of the door to visit the one non Mandalorian friend he has on Nevarro.

*****

The evening sun drenches Sorgan in a warm, golden hue, rays of sunlight gleaming off the krill ponds, shadows of huts and trees elongating as the sun slowly begins it's decent beyond the horizon. The evening had always been your favourite time of day on any planet. Taking time to relax and unwind after a long day was always something you'd look forward to, but not anymore. The evening heralds the approaching night, and night time is when the tears come. When the loneliness and sorrow become too much to bare and manifest in unbridled anguish and weeping. Omera has been a liferaft in a tumultuous ocean for you, allowing you to cry until you'd exhausted yourself and always ready to offer advice and support as your poured your aching heart out.

You honestly don't know what you would've done without her this past month. You'd told her everything the day Din left you in pieces and a part of you worried that she'd be disappointed in you too, but she showed nothing but understanding, adding that in a situation like that, anyone would do the same. Some nights were easier than other's to endure. Night's when your toilworn body had no choice but to succumb to sleep after spreading yourself too thin. More work meant less time to think and a greater chance of sleeping through the night.

Tonight wasn't one of those nights. The harvest had been collected and the krills had been salted and stored away, which meant for the past two days there had been a lot less work to occupy your mind. Tonight is the village festival, a chance for the community to come together and celebrate the rewards of everyone's hard work. As the orange and pink sky turned to dusk, bonfires were lit throughout the village, a signal of the beginning of the festivities. Banners and streamers hung between huts, log seats and blankets placed around each bonfire, the aromas of different delicacy's wafted from the stalls, reaching every corner of the village and the cool night air came alive with cheerful music.

Children laughed and played, people danced, friends gathered around the fires, enjoying Spotchka, everyone immersed in the exuberant atmosphere. It's moments like this that somewhat lightened your spirits, even if it is temporary. Omera sat beside you by the fire, handing you a cup of Spotchka. "Thanks," you smiled at your friend. "So, how are you enjoying your first harvest festival?" You look at Omera with a soft gaze. "It's great. I love seeing how everyone comes together. It's..." you sigh, "It's a rare thing these days."

And that's true, considering the larger, more metropolitan worlds you've visited seem to have lost all sense of community, everyone too caught up in their own lives, rushing from A to B without a second thought for their neighbours. "It is?" Omera seemed surprised by your answer, but of course she'd never left Sorgan, so this life is all she's known. "Yeah, a lot of people in the galaxy these days tend to keep to themselves, look out for number one." Omera grimaced at the thought of that kind of existence. "I'd hate to live like that." "Yeah, you're lucky here. This place is..." you look around at the heartwarming scene in front of you, one of camaraderie, belonging. "This place is special."

Omera placed a hand on your shoulder. "You mean we're lucky here. This is your home too now." Tears well up in your eyes but you blink them back and look at your feet. While you deeply appreciate what the village has done for you, this could never truly be home. Home is inside the hearts of the two people you love the most in this whole universe. A home you'll never see again. "Mama, Y/N!" Winta comes bounding over to you both, a huge grin lighting up her face. "I made these for you." She placed two little daisy crowns on both your heads.

"Thank you, sweetie. It's beautiful," Omera gushed and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Aww, thank you," you smiled softly. You've grown very fond of Winta over the past month, her happy disposition reminding you so much of Grogu. "I'll wear this proudly all night." With a giggle she turned and ran back to her friends. You watch her laughing and skipping with some of the other kids, and you feel your heart warm at the sight. Your mood quickly shifts, though, when your attention is caught by a toddler (no older than two) running into the waiting arms of his mum and dad.

Watching the sweet embrace, the joy and love so openly displayed sends a wave of pain straight through your heart. So many times Grogu had ran to you and Din like that, like you were both the centre of his universe. If you'd known that life would end, you would have held onto them both and never let go. The familiar numbness you'd been battling over the past month returns, sinking deep into your stomach. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you place your cup down and stand up. "You okay?" Omera asks. "Yeah I... I just need to clear my head. I'll be right back," you try to say casually, hoping Omera didn't notice the slight quaver in your voice.

The outskirts of the village is a little quieter, a little less overwhelming. Finding a boulder you slump down onto it, dipping your face into your hands. You inhale deeply then look up at the cosmos, wondering what Din and Grogu are doing this very moment. Are they well? Do they miss you as much as you do them? You're one hundred percent certain that Grogu misses you, but Din? Well, you can't be too sure anymore. You can't be sure of anything anymore when it comes to Din. He'd told you time and again that he loved you, but if that were true, why did he leave you instead of talking to you, instead of giving you a chance to make amends?

Maybe you'd been foolish this whole time. Maybe you loved -love- him more than he's ever loved you. Of course these thoughts had been swirling around your brain, relentlessly hounding you since that day, and you're still no closer to clarification, except for one harsh truth; that you're expendable, meaningless and not worthy of love, if the one person you'd trusted the most could just turn his back on you. A pained sob breaks free as you bury your face in your hands. In all your years nothing had ever hurt as much as this! Will this feeling lesson over time, granting you the opportunity to to learn to live with it, or will you have to face this bleak void for the rest of your life?

So lost are you in your all consuming spiral that you don't notice the screams at first. It's only when the unmistakable echos of blaster fire ring out that you leap to your feet like a startled Porg. Your immediate thoughts are for your friends. "Omera! Winta!" you scream as you run into the village. It's absolute chaos! Red streaks fly through the air, people screaming in panic as the attackers gain the upper hand. Some women run to nearby huts with their children while other's are being rounded up. The men are fighting back, but without any firearms they stand no chance. 'Winta, Omera! Where are you?!" You push through the throng of panicking people, desperately to catch sight of them amidst the mayhem. It's no use. In the dark and the rush of bodies you can't see them anywhere. "Win- arrrgh!" You hit the ground hard, a white hot burn tearing across your lower back and side. You push yourself up, gasping at the pain and, knowing there's nothing more you can do, you run.

Stumbling through the dark woods with only the moonlight to guide you, your mind tries to make sense of what just happened. Your lungs burn as you push through the woodland. You don't know where you're gong but you keep moving, until your legs can't take it anymore. A sharp pang jolts through your knees as you land on them, sweating and gasping for air. Dizziness and nausea sweep over you like a wave and you dig your fingers into the damp soil to ground yourself. As your breathing becomes less frantic, your head clears, and thats when you feel a warm wetness running down your thigh, soaking your trousers and making them stick to you.

You reach a hand around to where the pain radiates from and when you pull away, you squint at the dark, thick liquid staining your hand. The moonlight isn't bright enough to give you a clear view so you bring your hand to your nose, praying your suspicions are wrong. Your sense of smell is instantly overwhelmed by a strong metallic scent. Blood! "Fuck!" you groan quietly. I've been shot! You begin to tremble as you realise just how dire your situation has become. The sudden sounds of snapping and rustling has you jerking your head in it's direction. Voices follow the noises, telling each other to scour the woodland for any escapees. With a silent groan you force yourself to your feet and keep running.

*****

For the past couple of days, Din has been in mental torture. His visit to Karga hadn't gone the way he'd planned. All he'd wanted was a new bounty to keep his mind off you, but instead he'd been given some harsh truths. And the more he thinks about the conversation, the more he realises what a grievous mistake he has made, his mind constantly replaying the moment he'd had some sense knocked into him.

"Mando!" Greef Karga exclaimed enthusiastically while rising from his desk. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Din clasped his friends' arm and sat down opposite him. "I'm looking for more work." "Straight to the point as usual," Karga chuckled. "I've got a few bounty pucks, but to be honest the reward is so low it probably wouldn't even cover fuel." Din sighed and sat back in the chair. "Anyway, what's the rush? Your last two jobs paid handsomely. Why not take some time off and relax?" "I don't need to relax," Din replied, curtly, his shoulders stiffening with tension. Karga raised an eyebrow at Din's clipped response. "So, uh... how's the little one doing?"

Just the mention of Grogu helped to relax Din's tense posture. "He's good," Din answered, with a hint of affection in his voice. "He's been making new friends at school." Karga smiled at that, then clasped his hands together on the desk in front of him, focusing entirely on the black T of Din's helmet. "And how are you?" Din shrugged, "I'm fine." Karga just kept his gaze, fixing Din with a questioning look. "What?" Din asked awkwardly. "You're not doing yourself any favours by bottling everything up, you know." Din shifted uncomfortably, fists clenching as Karga continued. "Sooner or later it'll all catch up with you and -" "I said I'm fine," Din snapped.

"No you're not fine, Mando! You haven't been 'fine' since you left Y/N on Sorgan. You think I haven't noticed how distracted you've been lately?" Karga sighed and lowered his tone. "The only time you seem okay is when you're around the kid, but even then, I can't help but suspect it's a front. Just go to her. You obviously miss her. Din shook his head and let out long exhale. "Of course I miss her, but it's not that simple. "Why?" Karga asked, clearly confused, "You've redeemed yourself. You have your creed-" "It's not about the creed," Din interrupted in frustration, "It's about trust. I trusted her completely."

"Mando-" karga began but Din continued, "She went against my wishes and disrespected the creed and myself, even if it was to save my life. It was a ... selfish thing she did." Karga's eyebrows shot to his hairline. "Selfish?!" "Yes! She said she couldn't lose me. She only thought about how she would feel, so yes, she was selfish." Karga pressed his lips into a thin line, shaking his head as he did so. "Mando, you're my friend so I'm going to be blunt. That's Bantha shit!!" Din jerked back at Karga's sudden outburst. "She saved your life, knowing that doing so could end with you hating her. She knew what she was risking by removing your helmet, and it wasn't just losing you, but Grogu too. She sacrificed everything so you could live, even if she could no longer be a part of your lives. That is the most selfless thing I've ever heard of."

Din is speechless. He'd been so consumed by, what he'd seen as a betrayal, that he hadn't stopped to consider what it would have really meant for you to let him die. You loved him so much that you'd risked losing everything, just for him. The sudden clarity made his stomach churn and chest tighten under the weight of such a revelation. What the hell had he done?! "I... I never thought of it like that," Din faltered as regret swept through him. "Maybe it's not too late. I'm sure you'll do the right thing," Karga smiled sincerely. Din stood quickly; he needed to get out of there, needed space to think clearly. "Thank you," Din nodded at his friend and rushed outside.

For two days Din had been obsessing over how he can fix everything, but what could he say to excuse his behaviour? Would you forgive him? He couldn't blame you if you wouldn't. He doesn't deserve it. He feels sick to his stomach knowing the pain he's put both you and Grogu through. He has to see you, even if you won't forgive him, he needs you to know how sorry he is and how much he still loves you. Din is brought out of his thoughts by the blinking of his holoprojector, a quick press of the button revealing Greef Karga's hazy image. "Mando," Karga began, "I've just received communication from Captain Carson Teva. He has a proposition for you. I need to discuss this with you in person. Can you come to the office ASAP? It's important."

Din frowned as Karga's image disappeared. He could tell from his voice that something was very wrong. Din slipped his helmet on and made his way to the office. Upon arrival, Din was met with a very somber looking Karga. This can't be good, Din surmised internally. "Thank you for coming in, Mando," Greef said, stretching out an arm for Din to sit. "You said you have work for me from Captain Teva?" Din asked as he took a seat. "Yes... uh, he's had confirmed reports that an organisation of Spice runners have taken control of a planet in a nearby system. There have also been reports of fatalities and enslavement of the local people. As the Planet is part of the Outer Rim Territories," -Din bristled at that, hoping Karga isn't going to say what he thinks he's going to say- "It's not exactly a top priority for the over stretched republic officers. That's why Captain Teva has requested the help of allies nearby. He'll pay 30,000 Galactic Credits."

"Okay..." Din replied, hesitantly, a knot forming in his stomach. Greef closed his eyes and sighed. "Mando..." he looked back up. "It happened on Sorgan. Din's heart dropped to his stomach as the words he didn't want to hear washed over him. He could barely breathe, fear and disbelief choking his airways. The room began to spin and Din had to grip the edge of the desk to steady himself. "When did this happen?" Din pressed, trying to calm his racing mind. "Two days ago, Nevarro time." Din's jaw dropped under his helmet. "Two days!" All this time you'd needed him and he knew nothing of it.

Maker knows what could have become of you in the past two days, that's if you're still- no! He can't even entertain that possibility. You're alive! You're alive and he'll come for you. "Tell Captain Teva I'm on my way!" Din spun around, ready to high tail it out of there, but then stopped abruptly. In his panic he'd completely forgotten about Grogu. Karga raised a hand, already knowing what Din was about to say. "Go. Find her. I'll get the kid from school and he can stay with me until you return." "Thank you," Din replied and ran out of the room.

*****

You're cold, so bloody cold. The icy chill seems to be coming from inside your very bones, your entire body trembling uncontrollably, while a constant layer of sweat coats your skin. The only respite you get is when you lose consciousness. At this point, though, you're not sure what's real and what's not, how often you've woken and how often you've been dreaming becoming harder to distinguish between. After managing to stop the bleeding with a strip of your shirt, you forced yourself onwards until you came across a small cave, finally collapsing in an exhausted heap.

Time has now become meaningless. Maybe you've been here for minutes, maybe hours; there's no way to know. What you do know, even in your delirious state, is that you're in serious trouble, and if you don't get help soon... well, it's game over. Dying alone on a freezing cave floor wasn't how you ever envisioned yourself going out. Every breath is becoming difficult and every slight movement sends a burning jolt through your abdomen. Slowly, you slip back into the calm.

*****

The fight didn't last long, if it could even be called that. Along with Captain Teva and his men and several other mercenaries, Din wasted no time in obliterating every one of those low life drug runners and freeing the villagers from bondage. Families and friends cried happy tears as they embraced each other, others crying over the loss of a loved one, and an abundance of gratitude and praise was offered up to the liberators. It was a moment of immense joy and relief. However, Din felt none of it as he scanned the crowd. Where the hell are you? he asked himself again and again. With every passing minute Din's composure threatened to shatter.

"Have you seen Y/N anywhere?!" he asked repeatedly as more and more villagers approached him to thank him, every one of them confirming they hadn't seen you. Worry and frustration began to boil within until Din felt like he was going to explode. "Mando!" a sweet little voice cried out, catching Din's attention and pulling him from his imminent spiral. Small arms wrapped around his waist and a head of dark hair nuzzled into his stomach. "Winta." Din gasped in relief, returning her embrace. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Winta looked up with a big grin. "I'm okay. You saved us, thank you!"

Din crouched down to Winta's level, gently holding on to her arms. "Where's your mother? Where's Y/N?" he asked, trying to remain calm. "Mama's over there," winta pointed behind her to where Omera was quickly walking through the crowd towards him. "Mando..." Omera smiled, relief swimming in her brown eyes. "What are you doing here?" "I heard what happened and I had to come. Where is she?" Omera's face dropped at Din's question, taking his heart along with it. "Omera?..." Din hesitated, almost afraid to ask again but he needed to know. "Where's Y/N?"

"I don't know," Omera shook her head while tucking Winta into her side. "I haven't seen her since the attack." Din's chest seized, Omera's confirmation that you weren't there making his stomach swirl with dread. "I can't be sure, it was dark, but I think I saw her run into the woods." A glimmer of hope! "Which way?" Omera pointed to the tree line behind him, tears building in her eyes. "Please bring her back, Mando," she sniffled. "I will," Din declared with determination, placing a reassuring hand on Omera's shoulder. "I promise!" Then Din turned, sprinting towards the forrest as fast as his legs could carry him.

*****

It didn't take Din long to spot the tell tale signs of disturbance once he'd entered the forrest. Broken branches on bushes, flattened vegetation, and most importantly, footprints. Several different tracks criss crossed the damp soil, some human, some not. Most of the human prints where too big to be you, so Din could easily rule them out, along with the non human tracks. The tracks that caught his attention, though, were sporadic, indicating that whoever they belonged to was in a hurry, but also Physically impaired as the trail was often interrupted by signs of dragging, which could only mean the tracks' owner had stumbled multiple times in their haste to keep moving.

Din swallowed down his rising anxiety at the thought of you being injured, scared and alone. Now's not the time to fall apart. Keep it together, for her! Fortifying himself, Din pushed forward, certain he's on the right path. He engaged the heat signature function in his helmet. It would be useless to track your footsteps now, the heat in them long gone, but if you're in the vicinity, he would easily spot your body heat. Din moved in stealthy silence as he would while tracking quarries, acutely aware of his surroundings. Only this time the stakes were much higher.

Your life is in his hands now. He can't fail you; he wont! He follows the tracks for several more minutes, analysing every minute detail. Rounding the corner of a bush Din stops dead, his muscles freezing as he stares at the ground. There in a patch of dried blood is the beaded bracelet Grogu had made for you in school. He'd recognise it anywhere. His legs turn to jelly and he drops to his knees. Hand trembling he picks it up. Bile rises up his throat at the sight of your blood. It suddenly becomes all too real. This confirms it; you're hurt. You needed him and he wasn't there. Pocketing the bracelet, Din rises to his full height. "Y/N?!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, his body turning in every direction. "Y/N! Where are you?!"

He's met with nothing but the sounds of the forrest and his echoing, modulated voice. "If you can hear me, call out, please!" The last word came out as a desperate plea. Nothing. A thorough scan of the area reveals no body heat signature but you have to be close. The tracks keep going and so does Din. The more he presses on, the more blood he discovers littering the trail. So determined he'd been about finding you, that he'd didn't stop to think about what condition he'd find you in. Would you even be alive? Din shakes the abhorrent thought from his mind.

You're alive. Surely he'd have felt it in his gut if you weren't. Din has become a man possessed, his only mission now is to find you, hold you in his arms and never let any harm befall you ever again. He stalks on, following the tracks for another quarter of a mile until the trail brings him to the mouth of a small cave. This has to be it! With renewed hope, Din charges into the cave, calling your name into the chilled air.

*****

A series of violent shivers jerk you awake, and with consciousness comes the torturous pain spreading along your side. A trickle of sunlight filters down from a hole in the cave ceiling, bathing part of the area in a warm yellow glow. You groan as everything begins to spin in your vision, shutting your eyes in an attempt to ease the nausea trying to climb up you throat. It's hopeless; you know that now. With every waking moment a little more of your strength ebbs away. Your mind wonders to Din and Grogu. Even if you never physically see them again, at least you'll die seeing them in your memories.

A wistful smile tugs at your mouth as you imagine the antics your precious boy is probably up to at this moment, but your smile slowly drops, sadness settling deep within as the image of Din -both with and without his helmet- comes to the forefront of your mind. You'll die now, without the chance to tell him one last time how much he means to you, and that even though he broke your heart, you forgive him. You hadn't even realised until now that your face is wet, tears running down the temples of your head and into your hairline behind your ears.

"Y/N? !Y/N?! Cyar'ika are you in here?!" Din's frantic voice cuts through your silent despair. It sounds strange, almost as if he's under water. So close, yet so far away. How cruel of your mind to play tricks on you now. You hear the call of your name again, closer and clearer this time. In your disorientation, you turn your head in the direction of the voice. The last thing you see before darkness swallows you again is the gleam of sunlight reflecting off a fast moving mass of silver and black.

Part 3

[rottenpumpkin13]

AGS have to go on a mission in Wall-market, and end up having to cross dress. They need important information from Don Corneo. What kind of shenanigans would go down?

The Don Corneo Mission That Did Not Go As Planned

• After a Turk mission goes wrong and the cleanup falls under SOLDIER's jurisdiction, Lazard summons the first-class trio to the briefing room, as no one else is better suited for the job. <- the lie Lazard repeats to himself after emailing them in hopes he'll speak the truth into existence.

Angeal: You asked to see us, director?

Lazard: I'll be direct. One of the Turks—Cissnei—went missing in Wall Market three days ago while she was investigating suspicious activity related to Don Corneo—

*Everyone groans*

Lazard: —and seeing as search and rescue operations fall under SOLDIER's jurisdiction, you three will go to Wall Market and look for her.

Sephiroth: Understood. We can leave right now.

Lazard: ..... It's not as straightforward as it seems. Accessing Corneo's mansion requires a specific type of person. We can't afford to compromise our cover and jeopardize Cissnei's safety.

Genesis: Ah, I see. Don Corneo tends to talk when he's in the presence of beautiful women, so this mission requires beautiful women.

Lazard: Three beautiful women to be exact.

Angeal:

Sephiroth:

Genesis:

Angeal: NO!

Lazard: Yes.

Genesis: WHY?

Lazard: Because I can't trust the girls from Second and Third Class with this. It will have to be you three.

Sephiroth: I don't understand. Where are we to find beautiful women on such short notice?

Angeal: HE MEANS US.

Sephiroth: I understood the crossdressing part. I mean where will we find two other beautiful women apart from myself on such short notice?

Genesis: SON OF A—

• Getting the trio into their disguises is both challenging and surprisingly simple. Sephiroth's hair is easy to style, and he fits well in a dress. Genesis is a chameleon and insists on doing his own makeup. Unfortunately Angeal feels extremely self-conscious in his outfit.

*Angeal—wearing a corset, long skirt, and wig—stands in front of the mirror*

Angeal: Nope. This is never gonna work. Corneo will clock me from a mile away. Don't you think so, Zack?

Angeal:

Angeal: Zack? Where did you—WHY ARE YOU ONE ONE KNEE?

Zack: I will make you the happiest wife imaginable.

Angeal: IS THAT A RING POP?

Zack: I'm poor but I'm a good man.

Angeal: GET UP.

• Meanwhile, Lazard is lacing Sephiroth into a corset, marveling at how small his waist is and surprised at how well Sephiroth is handling it, with his glittery silver hair, black dress, and makeup.

Lazard: You look great, and I'm proud to see how unbothered you are by this.

Sephiroth: Studies show that symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing female faces distract individuals and trigger the halo effect. Such women can say anything, and people will be in awe of their beauty.

Lazard: I don't think that's true.

Sephiroth: Here comes Reno. Observe.

*Reno walks up to them*

Sephiroth: When I was four, Professor Hojo made me witness the birth of a newborn lamb and then slaughtered it to show that despite the miracle of birth, death is inevitable.

Reno: Nice tits.

Sephiroth: Thank you.

Lazard: What the fuck

• Meanwhile, Genesis should be thrilled at the prospect of dressing up and performing—he does look striking in a red dress and red wig—but he can't fully enjoy it. He seems to be the only one troubled by his uncanny resemblance to Cissnei while in disguise.

Genesis: This is ridiculous. I look exactly like Cissnei.

Cloud: I don't know why you're upset, sir. You look very pretty and this will hardly be a problem.

*A mailman walks up to Genesis and delivers a live chicken, addressed to Cissnei*

Genesis: What in the goddess' name is the meaning of this!?

Cloud: Oh! It seems that people think you're Cissnei and are delivering her stuff to you.

Genesis: And what would she need a chicken for!? Dinner?

*Cloud covers the chicken's ears*

Cloud: Please don't insult your child.

Genesis:

*Angeal rushes by, dragging his leg which has Zack clinging into it like the jaws of life*

Zack: AT LEAST LET ME BE YOUR DINNER.

Angeal: YOU MEAN TAKE ME TO DINNER?

Zack: DID I STUTTER?

• Lazard rounds them up before sending them off for one last briefing.

Lazard: Are you all ready?

Sephiroth: Professor Hojo once gave me a cup of mud, claiming it was chocolate milk to condition me to despise chocolate, and ultimately deprive me of the dopamine-driven joy associated with eating it.

Genesis, holding the chicken: We're ready.

Angeal, with Zack clinging onto his waist and sobbing: I'm ready too.

Tseng: And I'm ready to quit. Lazard, these men are wholly incapable of completing this mission without drawing attention to themselves.

Lazard: Nonsense. I trust these men with my life.

*A mailman walks up to Genesis and delivers a jar of popcorn kernels*

Genesis: What even is this !?

Sephiroth: Choking to death on popcorn is possible as the small kernels can become lodged in the airway, leading to inhalation, suffocation, and a painful death. Professor Hojo told me this to deter me from eating popcorn.

Genesis: Sephiroth, your breasts look fantastic.

Sephiroth: Thank you.

Angeal: ZACK, LET GO.

Zack: I CAN'T! I LOVE A GIRL WHO CAN BEAT MY ASS!

*Tseng turns to Lazard*

Tseng: You must not value your life very much.

Lazard:

• They all get dropped off at Wall Market as Corneo's candidates. But they're stopped on the bridge leading to the mansion by a mailman who delivers a pepper shaker to Genesis, addressed to Cissnei.

Genesis: AGAIN? What am I supposed to do with a chicken, popcorn kernels, and black pepper?

Sephiroth: Maybe they're items to care for the chicken.

Genesis: Nonsense. Why would I need to care for this thing?

*The chicken clucks and cuddles up to Genesis, lovingly*

Genesis: I have never loved anything more than I love this creature. This is what joy feels like.

Sephiroth: You had chicken for lunch yesterday and expressed the same sentiment.

*Genesis starts crying*

Sephiroth: You went back for seconds.

*Genesis cries hader*

Angeal: Hey! Is that the vice president coming over here?

*Rufus walks up to them*

Rufus: Gentlemen, before you enter Don Corneo's mansion, you should know that from what we've gathered, Cissnei is alive and possibly being held somewhere inside. It would be best to let Corneo choose a bride while the rest of you search for her.

Angeal: Copy.

*Rufus looks at Genesis*

Rufus: That's odd. I thought Rhapsodos was also on this mission.

Genesis: How dare you—

Rufus: Miss, you are the most stunning woman I've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on.

Genesis, blushing: !?

Sephiroth: My mother was the most stunning woman I've ever seen. Of course, I only ever looked at her through a photograph, which is now lost forever and can never be retrieved—much like my mother, Glenn, Rosen, my childlike wonder, and joy, among other things.

Rufus: Sephiroth, your breasts look eye-catching.

Sephiroth: Thank you.

*Just then, Zack crawls onto the bridge railing from the river, soaking wet and holding a bouquet of roses*

Zack: 🎶 My love—

Angeal: NO!

*He pushes him back into the water*

• Once they're inside, the bride selection begins, and the three are introduced to Don Corneo. Sephiroth struggles to refrain from summoning Masamune and shoving it down Don Corneo's throat. Corneo is creepy and invasive, and Angeal is relieved that Sephiroth and Genesis look more feminine than him. Now he can focus on locating Cissnei without having to deal with Corneo directly.

*Don Corneo grips Angeal's shoulder*

Don Corneo: I love a girl who can beat my ass!

Angeal: Say WHAT?

Don Corneo: Congrats! You're tonight's lucky girl! You beat the nut case who can't shut up about her terrible things and the one with the pet chicken!

Sephiroth: Chicken meat is an excellent source of lean protein, and contains essential vitamins like B6 and B12.

Genesis: Motherless children are statistically more likely to lead unhappy lives due to the absence of maternal care and nurturing in their formative years.

Sephiroth:

*Don Corneo grabs Angeal's hand and hauls him off*

Don Corneo: Come along, I had the bedroom prepared for us!

Angeal: GUYS, DON'T JUST STAND THERE! DO SOMETHING!

*Sephiroth turns to Genesis*

Sephiroth: He wants us to act accordingly to our roles as female friends.

Genesis: Girlhood it is.

*They turn to him*

Genesis: Good luck, sweetie~ I'm so jealous of you!

Sephiroth: I too wish I could be romantically pursued by a greasy creep with no respect for women~

Angeal: SCREW YOU BOTH!

• Once Corneo and Angeal are gone, Corneo's lackeys naturally approach Sephiroth and Genesis, assuming they're the available leftovers.

• Sephiroth is ready to pack a punch, but there is suddenly no need to, as the same moment Genesis raises his foot to kick one of the lackeys between the legs, the lid of the black pepper shaker he had been holding pops off and a bunch of black pepper flies into his face.

• Genesis sneezes.

• The sneezing frightens the chicken, who flies out of Genesis' grasp and tips over the popcorn kernel jar.

• The popcorn kernels fly into the lackeys' eyes.

• The chicken hungrily attacks their eyes.

• One of the lackeys falls down and this presses a button that was in his pocket.

• The button makes a trap door in the floor open up, and Cissnei walks out.

*While the chicken is still angrily attacking the lackeys*

Cissnei: Hey guys!

Sephiroth: Well that was remarkably easy.

Cissnei: Yeah. Genesis, I see you got my orders. It worked, huh?

Genesis: Wait, all of that was on purpose!?

Cissnei: Duh. I never take a mission unprepared.

Sephiroth: But how did you know the pepper would fly into Genesis' nose?

Cissnei: Same way I guaranteed the kernels would fly out; I loosened the cap. And I made sure the chicken was hungry.

Genesis: Well, this is terrible for Angeal. If we were certain your rescue was guaranteed, Angeal wouldn't have had to go with Don Corneo.

*There's a series of screams, crashes and an explosion before Don Corneo comes running out screaming. Zack is chasing after him with a flaming sword*

Zack: HOW DARE YOU ATTEMPT TO WOO MY FIANCÉ, YOU CRETIN.

*Angeal runs after them*

Angeal: WE'RE! NOT! ENGAGED!

Genesis: Wow. Who knew Puppy could be so loyal?

Sephiroth: I had a puppy once.

*They look at him, surprised*

Sephiroth: He was a robotic hound used in my childhood combat training. I grew fond of him, so Professor Hojo dismantled him, teaching me that machines are incapable of human emotion and I should be too.

Cissnei: Sephiroth your boobs look so good!

Sephiroth: I know.

[natsvenom]

Lost & Found - PART 2 | Kol Mikaelson x Salvatore!Reader

SHORT SERIES | PART 1

SUMMARY: 10 years after becoming a vampire, you discover you still have the ability to siphon. No amount of research you do helps you discover why, and you were never able to do it again. You meet a girl named Mary Porter and she tells you there's someone who can help you, but he's the most dangerous man alive, and one of the first vampires to ever roam the earth. But what other choice did you have?

WARNINGS: Minor violence

It had been 44 years ago when you became a vampire. For the longest time you hated yourself, you lacked the one thing you always seemed to have as a witch. Control. Luckily, you had learned the art of compulsion, managing to stop yourself from killing innocent people. Your favorite thing about being a vampire though, was the ability to heal.

Emily Bennett had told you when witches became vampires, they lost their ability to connect with nature. So why did you still feel so grounded to the earth? After ten years of being a vampire, you discovered something.

You were walking down the streets of New York City, it was 1874, and you were looking for your brother Stefan. He had gone off the rails and you decided it was time to give him a concerned younger sister talk. You weren’t sure he’d listen, but the least you could do was try.

You ran your fingers through the cracks and crevices of the dark bricks, humming the tune of an old song you hadn’t heard in several years. You gasp, suddenly being pushed to the wall, a man holding you tightly in place, his face monstrous, resembling something similar to one you often saw in the mirror.

You grabbed a hold of his arm, pinning him against the wall. He was clearly newer at this than you were. He groaned loudly, almost like he was in an immense amount of pain. You were confused, you weren’t holding on to him that tight. You looked down, noticing a red glowing light coming from your hands. That’s when you realized, you were siphoning him, something you hadn’t done in ten years. You pulled back instantly, and the man dropped to the floor, letting out heavy breaths. You looked down at your hands, then back at the man, and then you sped off, without any regard for the man who had just tried to make you his next meal.

After that day, you thought maybe something had gone wrong with your transition. Why else would you be able to siphon still? The truth was, you had no idea what was happening to you, and it freaked you out more than death itself. You tried siphoning again almost every day after the incident, but you hadn’t been able to. Maybe you were just seeing things.

You spent years after that researching siphoners, but you could never find anything. Not a single witch or vampire you talked to knew what you were, most of them just assumed you were crazy or seeking some sort of attention. It was exhausting chasing after what everyone thought was a fairytale.

In 1906, you met a woman named Mary Porter. She was the only person who believed your story and offered you her help. She hadn’t known anything about siphoners herself, but she said she knew a man who could help you, claiming he was an expert on all things witch-related. You had hoped she was right. She warned you though, that this man was anything but good. He was dangerous, and one of the oldest living vampires on the planet. He used and manipulated people, so if you wanted something from him, he’d most definitely expect something in return. Nothing he did for anyone else came for free.

Mary told you if you wanted to meet him, you’d have to be patient, saying he was almost impossible to find, not unless he wanted to be found. She took you to New Orleans, a place he had called home many moons ago. Mary seemed to have faith that he was there though, so you trusted her.

You had spent a year in New Orleans, searching for a vampire who didn’t seem to wanna be found was probably the most difficult thing you had done. How hard could it be to hide in a place like this? Mary seemed to have known a lot of people, and she said she was getting closer to finding him. What you hadn’t expected though, was that he would find you first.

You sat down at the bar in one of many clubs in the French Quarter, a jazz band was playing loudly from the stage across the dance floor. You weren’t really in the mood for dancing though. You order something strong at the bar, fully aware that your ability to get drunk vanished that horrible night in 1864.

A man sat down next to you, you paid him no mind though, your intentions for being here had nothing to do with socialization. He ordered a glass of whiskey, his British accent peaking your interest slightly. It wasn’t often you heard an accent like that, especially not down in New Orleans.

“Rumor has it you’ve been seeking me out.” The man said, his stare burning into the side of your head. You turned to face him and were shocked at how attractive he was, but you still had no idea who he was, so you kept your guard up. He held his hand out, and hesitantly, you took it. A feeling of something dark instantly took over your senses, and that was when you realized who he was. The man you’d been searching for for two years, the one who could supposedly kill you without even blinking, no matter how old of a vampire you were.

“Kol,” He introduced himself, his smile cunning and mischievous. You had wondered if you were making a mistake being here, he was intimidating, and that was a feeling you didn’t like.

“Y/N,” You said.

He picked up his glass once more, bringing it to his lips, “So, what do you want from me?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

Your heart rate picked up. It wasn’t out of fear though, it was excitement, after all this time you were finally gonna figure out what you were. At least you hoped, “I need your help.” You explained.

“Help from somebody like me comes with a price.” He said in almost a joking tone, but you knew he was serious. If you wanted his help, you knew you’d have to return the favor.

“A price I’m willing to pay.” You insisted. He could tell you were serious by that intense look in your eyes, whatever you wanted, must’ve been important.

“Very well then. What do you need that requires my assistance?” He questioned, looking at you very intently.

“Well, it’s complicated.” You sighed, “Before I became a vampire, I was a witch. I learned everything I know about magic from a witch named Emily Bennett.”

“You must’ve had an excellent mentor then. The Bennett witches are a very powerful bloodline.” Kol speculated.

“She told me that witches balance out the boundary between natural and supernatural. Which is why you can’t be both a witch and a vampire because it defies nature.” You added.

“All very true,” Kol said.

“Oh,” You murmured, disappointed.

“There’s been exceptions for certain individuals though,” Kol claimed, swirling the last bit of his drink in his glass.

“Exceptions?” You questioned, raising a brow.

“They’re not exactly well known in the witch community, they like to keep themselves hidden. They’re called the Gemini Coven.” Kol explained. You sighed in relief when you realized what you were experiencing was possible.

“They come from a long line of witches called siphoners, which means they have to absorb magic from other magical entities. Most people think that means they're weak, but that’s far from true. A siphoner can desiccate a vampire just from their touch, and rid the influence of compulsion from any person whose been compelled by a vampire. This power of course doesn’t come without a price. The leader of the Gemini Coven is determined by something called the merge. Every time a set of twins is born into the coven they must bind their magic into one once they turn of age, the strongest of the two wins, becoming the next leader of the coven. And of course, if the leader dies, so does the rest of the coven. Unless you’re a vampire of course.”

You implanted the new information into your brain, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. But of course, you still had questions and concerns, “But if you’re a vampire how can you be a part of the coven?” You asked.

“That’s what makes siphoners so exceptionally powerful. They’re the only witches in the world who can become both a vampire and a witch, they’re referred to as heretics. After the transition the witch side has the ability to siphon power from the vampire side, making them quite unstoppable. There’s only one way to kill them, which would require you to rip out their heart, a stake won’t do it. I haven’t seen one in quite some time though, so if that’s what you’re looking for you’re out of luck, darling.”

At first, you weren’t sure if you wanted to tell him. If you did there was always the possibility that he would want to kill you, but you were having magic issues, and you needed help getting them back under control, “What if I told you I knew one?” You said, rather abruptly.

“Then I would ask why you’re coming to me for this.” He said, drinking the last bit of his whiskey.

“And what if I said she doesn’t know anything about heretics and hasn’t been able to use her magic since she’s transitioned? Would you be able to help her?” You asked rhetorically.

“Well, I would have to meet her first and figure out the issue. There are many reasons for magic being blocked.” Kol explained.

“Like what?”

“First tell me to whom you’re referring, and then maybe I’ll give you the answer.”

You looked down at your glass, taking a moment to think, then looked back up at him, “Me.” You said hesitantly.

“You?” He questioned.

You sighed, “Before I was a vampire I found out I was a siphoner, with the help of an old friend, I couldn’t figure out much about my family history, and all I knew was what Emily taught me. Then I became a vampire and I had no idea about heretics or anything, so I just instantly assumed I had lost my ability to do magic.”

Kol looked slightly surprised, but he tried not to let it show. He set his glass down and stood up, “If you want my help, it’s going to take a while. And that’s going to be a lot of debt, darling.” Kol asserted.

You stood up quickly after him, “Please, I’ll do anything.” You pleaded.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

tags | @multifandombliss

[sarahmadisonxoxo]

The Date(Part 1)

“So, you finally asked Eddie out. Congratulations! "I didn’t think you had it in you” Robin sounded relieved, her back turned to Steve as she sat on the edge of the counter picking through a box of skittles. “Why are there so many purples in here? It’s objectively the worst flavor.”   Steve quietly snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “They all taste the exact same Robin.”   “ So why do they have flavors on the package... Steve. Think about that” she retorted, shooting him a pointed look over her shoulder. “Don’t try to change the subject Harrington... I want details. Eddie seemed...”   “ I didn’t ask him out.” Steve blurted out cutting her off.   “ But? He seemed so happy earlier. I could have sworn.”   “ It wasn’t...” It wasn’t the right time. It wasn’t easy to find the right words... to express everything he wanted to say.   The truth was Steve choked up. It was an unfortunate consequence of standing so close to Eddie. Not even close, just near him. That’s all it took for his brain to resemble slush. The faintest hint of leather, cigarette smoke, musk, and something faintly spicy. Cinnamon?   Eddie did always seem to keep a pack of big red on him, carelessly shoved into his jean pocket next to his crushed pack of cigarettes. The metalhead seemed to have a preference for cinnamon candies. Steve had tried Eddie’s usual pick of red hots at their last group movie night. It took most of the movie and several beers to stop the burning on his tongue. Why did Eddie willingly choose that? He wasn’t going to judge though.   “ I couldn’t do it. Okay? This isn’t just some girl”   “ I know Steve. This isn’t a girl, it’s Eddie. A friend. Someone who cares about you, someone you care about. “   “ It’s ”   “Different. Yeah, Steve I know. No one is forcing you to say anything, if you don’t want to tell him. You don’t have to” Robin understood, she understood that pushing Steve on this wouldn’t work. This was something he had to come to on his own terms. No matter how much she wanted to interfere... Steve hadn’t pushed her with Vickie. He’d offered full support when she’d admitted her feelings to him about Nancy. Steve going as far to offer personal advice on what she liked, her tells.   Pushing him to open up to Eddie wasn’t fair. They could pathetically long after their respective crush in the safety of Family Video.   The bell on the door rang. Cueing a half-hearted greeting from Steve as he kept his eyes trained on the computer.   “ Welcome to Family Video. I am Steve. Please let me know if you need any help.”   “  That was good... This time try it with more feeling. “Eddie’s laughter rang through the room. “I think I preferred the scoops ahoy greeting. What was it, Stevie?”   “ What do you want Munson...” Steve questioned, not trusting himself enough to pull his eyes away from the blue screen. “Horror movies are on the back wall... and no I won’t wave any more of your late fees. “   “ Ms. Buckley.  Always a pleasure” Eddie cheered, bowing in her direction.   “ Hey Eddie...” Robin smiled, offering a two-fingered salute before diving back to pick through her box of candy. “Steve’s right though. We can’t wave anymore fees; Keith is starting to breathe down our necks. “   “ Good to know.” Eddie hummed, as if he was taking any of the information to heart. “Actually, I came to ask Steve something. “   That pulled Steve’s eyes from the computer, taking his first look at Eddie since he’d walked in. A heavily worn Metallica shirt with the sleeves cut. It had been an unusually warm summer. The dark fabric stuck to his body in a way that shouldn’t have been attractive. Dark lines of ink against his torso catching Steve’s eyes.   He didn’t realize how long he’d been staring until Robin cleared her throat...   At least Eddie didn’t seem to notice.   Small victories, right?   “ Sure Munson what is it? “   Eddie paused, like he suddenly forgot what he was going to say. Or did he lose courage?   Enough of that... what would Eddie be nervous to ask him? He needed to be realistic.   “ It’s about a... uh. “Eddie’s fingers came to fidget with a ring on his finger. “Can I ask you later? Would you mind stopping by after work? It’s a little embarrassing”   “ Yeah sure man... Of course. I get off in a few hours.”   “ Great” the metalhead breathed out, a sigh of relief? “Thanks, big boy... I’ll see you later. See ya Robin”   “ Bye”   No one spoke again until Eddie was gone.   “ What do you think that was about? “Steve questioned, bringing his attention back to Robin.   “ I don’t know...” She shrugged. “but I want details Harrington. All the juicy details” Story Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43957300/chapters/110526340 Part 1  ///   Part 2  ///  Part 3  ///

[mischiefmaker615]

Bloodline (Pt.2)

Part 1

Rating: R dark themes

Summary: unable to gain children from his wife, Loki seeks out a mortal who can do it instead.

She hated herself for it, for not feeling as angry as she should towards the man that was using her. She shouldn’t be able to even look at him, let alone ask him to stay with her.. but here he was beside her, sitting down on the bed as they both kept eye contact to themselves. She was pregnant, and she trusted him that it was the truth, you’d think magic would be just as accurate as a doctor visit right? These past weeks of their..  ‘’routine’’, she’s become numb to his cruelty and- dare she say it, used to it. the struggle was gone..

‘’…you must really love this place.. to even go beyond the extent for it..’’ she whispered and her gentle tone made him turn and look at her, his expression still unreadable but it was gentle at the same time.

‘’I’m sure you’d do anything to protect your home.. the people you care about.. -I’m not expecting you to understand.. I’m not saying all this is right.. but..’’ he trailed off, not trying to justify that what he did was right, but.. he had too. He looked away from her, guilty making itself known after all these weeks of pushing it down.

‘’I’m sure I would understand if I had family.. I was orphaned as a child- to this day I’m not sure exactly what happened, grew up in the orphanage and got kicked out officially when I became of age. Lived every day just working, sleeping just to wake up and do it all over again-.. I didn’t have a purpose..’’ she explained, looking down at her hands as her heart beat past, not sure why she was giving her whole life story when she really should be killing him.. but where did her hate go?

‘’..didn’t?’’ Loki asked, looking at her as she finally raised her eyes to look at him back and she gave a mild shrug.

‘’one could argue that I can finally feel like I’m useful.. I’ve lived every day on repeat, no one back there would miss me.’’

Loki looked at her as if she were strange, raising a brow as he studied her features. ‘’..you were chosen because you resembled a goddess.. how do you find yourself unseen?’’

She sighed and her hand instinctually began playing with a lock of her hair, trying to register how she should feel that he called her beautiful, her cheeks reddened all the same. ‘’..others have different definitions and expectations as what they see as beautiful.’’

Loki merely shook his head, his mind wondering off as she looked at him as if reading his mind.

‘’not all mortals are idiots though.’’

The choice of words actually made Loki chuckle, knowing she knew what he had been thinking as those mortals had seemed to have terrible taste if they didn’t find her in their standards of beauty. ‘’well, you are most certainly the first mortal I’ve seen in my life time that I would call beautiful.’’

The conversed for a little while longer, small talk having a small hint of awkwardness to the whole thing considering how their relationship had started, but the small teasing here and there made it a bit easier to talk to each other. They mostly got to know each other, no one daring to talk about the whole reason why she was here, but merely about their lives, likes and dislikes- childhood and hardships. Loki most certainly surprised himself on opening up a bit to her, and the “venting session” as she called it, made him feel like there was an unknown weight off of his shoulders, as if he finally had someone he could talk too.

A feeling came to his chest, not guilt anymore- although it was very much still in his stomach. He hadn’t felt it in such a long time, not since he had started finding interest in Sigyn. Was it.. fondness to this particular woman before him? he half listened to what she was saying and upon realizing he was indeed feelings he was developing, he quickly stood up- startling her.

He kept his voice gentle with an apologetic bow ‘’I’m sorry love, I didn’t mean to frighten you, I just- I must depart right now- but I shall return.. to deliver dinner.’’

Another meal brought to her like a prisoner, and the mere sentence made her features lower just slightly- which didn’t go unnoticed by Loki as he looked away from her. ‘’..i shall return..’’ he promised, as if a second reminder would make her feel better- why did he care?

She was to be bred.. nothing more.. who was he to reassure? To explain himself to her.. of gods.. he cared.. he was guilty, he was growing fond of her.. why? She was indeed beautiful, his lust was getting extremely difficult to hold back as he longed to touch her, to have her come undone.. to have a connection deeper.. but her spirit, her fire and getting to know more of her life.. kept him wanting more..

“norns..’’

He cussed as he went down the halls in a rush, as if getting farther away from her room would help think all this wasn’t happening. His whole plan was simple: gain a child and that was all. Why.. did he have to fall for the mortal.

Yet he did just what he said. Upon delivering her evening meal, she asked him to stay.. and he did. The small voice in his mind told him he shouldn’t get attached and just leave once everything was finished upon stepping through her door, but it was to late. He was attached. They began speaking more, even laughing and Loki staying longer than he knew he should.

Sigyn would question his whereabouts, why his attitude had changed to a lighter tone but he merely reassured her that he was just content that Asgard had been safe through this time and would simply find different places to read- as to not cause suspicion nor would he be able to find him. part if him felt guilty at the same time that he was also betraying her, that although there was no real love towards her as a wife, he was still cheating on her behind her back. The other part of him felt alright with it because having a child would mean Asgard was secure and.. he finally was putting his happiness first..

That mortal woman was the first joy he had in ages only because he had fallen for her. It pained him to leave her and his loins ached for her. Ever since he found out she was pregnant, he had not touched her. Nor had he had time for himself and his wife would no longer suit his interests. Yet he got what he wanted, the child was damn near close to being born now, whenever he began to get hard when he would check on her, he would cut the meeting short and leave. He would not touch her now that he knew he no longer needed to.

An Asgardian child grew faster than a mortals, and the “potion” he had her drink daily allowed her body to adjust. Yet the due date came faster than he anticipated and although she felt fine like she wouldn’t go into labor that day, his magic told him it ad already begun. Despite her being confused, she always took his word for things because this was his realm, and he knew better so she trusted it.

He was able to convince her to fall asleep, so there would be even less pain and so that she wouldn’t get attached to the child if she saw him or her. A healer would be accompanying him and to her little knowledge, he had placed a spell so that she would forget most and think the one who had given birth was his wife.

Upon waking up, his precious mortal felt like nothing had ever happened. even her groin and stomach felt as if it were yesterday. Yet Loki stayed with her anyway while she got out of her daze, and to her surprise- she took his hand.

‘’what.. what happened?’’

‘’you have given birth love, the healer is now caring for the baby.’’ He said gently, sitting beside her on the bed as she lay still and looked up at him with confusion.

‘’oh.. and once the baby is all cared for?’’ she asked with hesitation.

‘’then our healer will lose all memory of her assistance and I will merely bring the child to Sigyn.. she will be a good mother, I promise..’’ he said gently, trying to ignore the guilt that rose again and how awful the words sounded leaving his mouth while she looked away from him.

‘’you will be a good father.’’

Loki’s lips parted, wanting to speak but words found it hard to leave his mouth. Her words were spoken true, he could sense that- even when he knew he had hurt her and all that he had done. He didn’t know what to say, he just gazed at her with the sudden need to protect, the gather her in his arms, to hold her.

‘’is it a girl or a boy?’’ her sudden words brought him back and he took a breath with a gentle whisper.

‘’it’s a baby girl.’’

Loki wasn’t able to see the small smile that tugged her lips, nor her tears as she kept her back to him. he had a hesitant hand raised to want to turn her towards him, but he stopped. He knew she was hurting, and all of this was because of him. turning away, he stayed with her a little while longer in silence before he finally left, hearing the faint cries through the door as soon as he shut it.

Damn it. damn it all…

He had held back tears upon seeing the child be born, but he didn’t want to go see her without.. her. For the mother not being able to see her child.. he understood the logic of it, but knew it was hard on her as well. And to not even being able to comfort her through it all. Damn it all!

He knew what he had to do.

The same boots that pounded through the halls to get her that day long ago pounded down the same halls to get her now. Loki practically ripped the doors open, startling her as she quickly wiped her tears from where she sat in a panic and looked at him concerned.

‘’what’s wrong? is the baby- what happened?’’ his darling mortal gasped as she saw the bruise on his cheek. She hesitated to see a small smile on his face despite it. ‘’..did Sigyn-‘’

‘’there is no more of Sigyn.. I’m done.’’

‘’but.. but didn’t you say the-‘’

‘’fuck the bloodline-‘’ Loki claimed, cutting himself short by the uncommon language that left his mouth he usually didn’t say. It must have been from spending time with her that he picked up some mild habits. Regaining himself, he took a deep sigh as he looked at her with a forced gentle voice.

‘’I’m done- I’m done with all of it.. you have been taken, then taken advantage of.. impregnated, isolated and now the child in which belongs to ‘us’ isn’t even able to be with you- I am the king of Asgard and I must protect its people, but if this is the king I have become then I will gladly step away from the thrown if it means I am to feel like this for the rest of my life!’’ he practically shouted at himself, looking away shameful as he paced, only to be stared at with wide eyes at his words.

‘’Loki..’’

‘’I have fallen for you love.. I can no longer contain myself nor deny it.. there is nothing I can do to rewrite the wrongs I have done.. only to try to improve on what I do now. You will be returned to Midgard with the child and-‘’

‘’no!-‘’

Her words stopped him as he stared at her, her voice being the loudest she had ever let it as he stayed put, watching her get off the bed and stand before him, grasping the nightgown to her body.

‘’..she needs a father.. I can’t do it by myself out there.. to not know who you are.. its as if its best if you and Sigyn keep her to yourself so she can grow up with two p-‘’

‘’Y/N..’’

Y/N stopped, being called by her name for the first time as she shook where she stood, tears threatening to run down her cheeks as she bit her lip.

‘’the child will have a father.’’ He promised and kneeled down before her, his head down as he felt his own tears threaten to fall. ‘’I will do everything in my power to help you, to help you both, to be there, to support you.. to love her.. and to love you if only you’d allow me to.. I’m done here. I can’t deny my feelings for you any longer.. and if you are to reject me, then allow me to love her as a father..’’ he whispered and closed his eyes as he breathed.

The hand on his cheek made him open his eyes as he looked up to her gentle ones, tears falling down the cheeks of both as he leaned his face into her palm. ‘’we will have you Loki.. it will be okay..’’

Loki slowly placed a hand on her own, knowing there would be much to take place but he knew the truth was better than to live a lie of lies and guilt. Sigyn would be okay, and deep down he knew she knew they were over a long time ago. As king, laws will have to change. It wont be easy, but he’d find a way to make them possible, and right now she was looking more of a being with power than he ever did as he slowly stood up but she kept his hand in hers.

‘’..let me see her..’’ she whispered.

She will be a great mother..

‘’yes.. my queen..’’

Final ♥

[eatifa]

somebody that i used to know

a/n - hello! this is inspired by a scene from the manga of tokyo ghoul. i only wrote for one character because this was a little bit hard to do. i may write for more in the future with this concept.

trigger warning - mention of terminal illness.

concept - amnesia made him no longer remember her.

starring - rindou.

tagging @mitsuyeaah because she like angst a lot along with supporting my works a lot and being a lovely mutual.

"she gave me a smile. a smile that looked a little troubled, and a bit… sad. and the thought that i had such a beautiful person in my life crossed my mind."

no one wanted rindou to find out the truth.

it was strange for rindou to comprehend that he couldn't remember anything about his older brother. ran was the first person that rindou saw upon waking up in a bed.

the mechanical beating sounds of a monitor and the anaesthetic smell is the only recognisable thing that could rindou tell where he was.

the hospital's bedroom was the only thing that he could recognise in the room. the younger brother have no idea who the man was standing next to his bed that leaped out the chair when he saw his eyes slowly opening.

"rindou, are you alright?"

ran became concerned when he saw his brother shoot him a confused look along with saying the next words that caused his heart to drop.

"who's rindou?"

at first, ran wanted to believe that he was just pulling a sick joke but when he saw his brother diverted his attention to the needle jabbed into his vein, he knew something was wrong.

ran wanted to doubt his theory with the hope that his brother's strange behaviour was caused by an unexpected side effect of the aesthetic.

surely, things would be back to normal when the anaesthetics would completely wear off but ran didn't want to take the risk. if he was right, the best option would be for rindou to stay longer at the hospital despite how much ran didn't wanted want to do that.

ran couldn't neglect rindou. as the older brother, ran always made the final decision. the pattern of ignoring rindou's input was the norm but for the first time ever, ran wanted to swap the order with him. ran didn't want to find out if he was right or not.

"rindou, do you know who i am?"

"no, why would i? we just met." rindou ignored how his face dropped and didn't stop him from darting out of the room.

why should he care about a stranger.

being inside the apartment that he apparently share with ran, his older brother just felt foreign to rindou. he couldn't recognise any of the items or the interior designs of the rooms that the apartment entailed.

at first, rindou didn't want to goes along with him but the doctors sitting him down and telling the events that led up to his hospitalisation gave him but no other option to trust ran.

"you have amnesia caused by a head injury and your brother is the one that rang the ambulance."

so rindou didn't started a war with the older man when he shoved him inside a taxi but his apparent older brother still felt like a strange when he tried start a conversation in the taxi.

"rindou, how much do you remember?"

"not enough to believe your claim of being my brother."

the rest of the journey was spent in silence.

but rindou could no longer deny it when he saw photos of them together pinned to the fridge by coloured magnets. there were too many photos and the resemblance was strong enough to believe ran was telling him the truth.

the main reason why rindou couldn't notice the similarites with his brother is the differences between their hair.

ran's hair was styled into two braids with black and yellow highlights whereas his hair reached his shoulders with blue and blondish strands.

as he snuck a glance at the taller man standing next to him whose was observing the photos together with him, the shorter brother realised something that he didn't know.

his age.

"this is when we went france together." ran placed a slim finger over a photo of them standing in front of a tower.

rindou noticed the carefree look on the past version of him in the photo and it was enough to erase the last doubt that ran wasn't lying about his identity.

but rindou noticed that their hair looked a lot different. neither of them had dyed it since their hair look completely jet black. as rindou snuck a glance at his brother, he couldn't help but ask a question.

"am i the younger brother or you are?"

it was the second time that ran was shunned into silence. his eyes widened into a state of disbelief, rindou couldn't even remember how old he is.

ran wasn't going to let him out of his sight anytime soon.

finding out that he was the younger brother didn't made anything less awkward for them. the photos show that ran was a caring older brother along with it being portrays in his actions.

"rindou, do you need anything?"

"when i'll goes out, i will get it so relax."

"rindou, it's not a good idea to tell others about your amnesia."

his actions started to suffocate rindou, he would walk out of the door and disappear on ran for a long time when he would gain his memories back.

ran told him about the basics of rindou's life but it might as well been someone else because rindou really couldn't remember any of it. to rindou, it felt like he was peering into a vase without flowers inside.

at this point, rindou might as well forget about his past life and just start anew. what's the point of keeping onto friendships and relationships that he no longer knew about.

ran had tried to encourage him to text his friends, hoping that it would start to bring back his memories because ran couldn't despite how hard he tried. and his younger brother's behaviour wasn't helping.

rindou never got past a how are you text from anyone since he just gave a shrug and left them on the read mode. at this rate, ran would need to tell everyone that his brother was suffering from amesnia before he accidentally push everyone away.

the only thing is that ran really wanted to use that as a last resort. rindou values his privacy and he knew shit would hit the fan when his original personality would returns.

so ran pinned all his hopes on the weekly visits to the hospitals but even the medical staff couldn't make a breakthrough. after the third visit, ran started to feel deflated that he left rindou in the dust to take a smoke outside their apartment

rindou never paid much attention towards what ran wanted to do since he just mumble out an okay and accepted his fate of being left alone in the apartment.

after a while, the ticking sound of the clock was loud enough to catch his attention when rindou switched off the tv.

20:30

his older brother would never leave him for this long because of the memory loss.rindou would apprecipate being left alone but the fear that ran may become more overwhelming if he felt gulit towards this mistake motivated rindou to get up and hunt him down.

as rindou was wrapping a scarf around the neck, an unexpected sound echoed throughout the apartment.

knock.

surely, it must be ran but rindou couldn't help but frown at this thought. ran would never be this careless enough to leave without a house key but rindou could recall the disappointment in his brother eyes as they were leaving the hospital earlier on in the day.

the negativity must made him forget.

so rindou discarded the scarf from his neck and placed his right hand on the silver handle and opened the door without a second thought.

it was not ran.

it wasn't even a male.

it was a woman.

rindou took a double take at seeing her standing in front of him.

who is she?

for some reason, the woman became quiet too almost as if rindou was a ghost that she just encountered. a pair of blue jeans and a black shirt concealed her shoulders but rindou couldn't paid too much attention to her outfit.

she was smiling at him.

he didn't know why.

"she gave me a smile. a smile that looked a little troubled, and a bit… sad. and the thought that i had such a beautiful person in my life crossed my mind."

his monologue at seeing her smile. rindou must had knew her before the amnesia came along.

why else would his feelings be this intense? the tears shouldn’t be escaping from his eyes.

"rindo-"

her sentence was cut short because someone else grabbed onto her arm and another voice stopped her from uttering out another word.

"i told you not to come."

rindou couldn't see his face but from the hostile tone in his voice, ran was clearly pissed off at her.

but why? she have such a sad glint in her eyes. what did she do?

rindou couldn't help but stop these thoughts from articulating inside his mind but ran whisked her away before he could stop him.

"she is just an ex that broke my heart. "

this is what ran told his brother the next day after the incident.

rindou didn't entirely believe this was the truth since the woman looked so sad when she laid eyes on him.

there must be a white lie embedded inside his explanation.

but whenever rindou would try, his brother would change the topic and with the last attempt, he completely snapped.

"shut the fuck up, rindou. if you ask one more time, i am leaving your annoying ass behind in this apartment. "

rindou finally believed him at hearing his abrupt threat. it was the first time that ran ever shouted at him along with using vulgar language.

so he stopped asking his older brother since it must be a pretty bad breakup. rindou genueinly thought that she must had cheated or something. rindou was convince that getting a slap from ran would be his reply if he dare ask again.

throughout the upcoming months, the memories started to return but nothing major.

his favourite colour.

the name of his high school.

did he go to university or not.

all but nothing little tabs to rindou but whenever he would tell his brother this, a smile would appear on his face where ran no longer detested taking rindou to the hospital.

his little brother was slowly coming back.

it was only a matter of time.

the moment finally arrived but came in the worst way possible.

in a rush to get to work on time, ran carelessly left something in his room that he definitely shouldn't had. a photobook album that he never shown to anyone else.

unfortunately, rindou got to it first and when he arrived home, the first thing that greeted him was a porcelain plate being thrown at him.

on instinct, ran used the briefcase to deflect the flying plate that landed on the floor instead but the force was enough for it to shatter into fragments.

seeing the enranged look on his younger brother face hinted one thing.

"why didn't you tell me about my wife?"

the question had confirmed it. his memories had come back.

more untensils and glasses were thrown at him along with his brother swearing at him non-stop.

in the end, ran wrapped his arms around his brother neck to force him into a headlock before either of them ended up seriously getting hurt.

it didn't meant that rindou was backing down though.

"ran, you manipulative fuck, no wonder you chased her away when she came that day."

the photos from the wedding album revealed that rindou was the groom and the girl that gave him such a sad smile that knocked on the apartment's door months ago was his bride.

"calm down."

"fuck off. you guys must had an affair or something like that. it explains everything about not telling me the truth and getting rid of her when she saw me again. "

"shut up."

"she must had thought it was you. i swear that i'm going to murder you and i'm going to divorce that slu-"

ran wouldn't let rindou finish his sentence since he yanked him by the hair before pushing him away.

"shut the fuck up, you don't want to insul-"

the way that ran paused his sentence made rindou narrowed his eyes at him in suspicious but ran decided it was better to come clean before his brother would say something that he would regret forever.

"she got cancer. it's the reason why you got amnesia. when she found out, she cut ties with you because she wanted to give you a fresh start. she begged me the most not to tell you."

the horror dawned on him. it was the truth.

the explanation filled in the last gap. rindou couldn't remember the last event that happened before he woke up in the hospital.

now he did.

his wife told him about the diagnose but she wasn't ready to tell him yet. she confessed through a text when he asked her about what she wanted to do for her birthday.

rindou didn't want to ring her but he wasn't ready to come home straight away after work.

he just wanted to run and that's how he ended up being in a pub late at night before getting into a fight in a drunken haze. whoever the person was, he must had aimed for his head and their force must been strong enough to make rindou blackened out from the pain.

the incident that triggered off the amnesia but rindou no longer cared about that.

"where is she?"

ran went quiet.

he wouldn't answer him.

[okkotsuus]

associated songs (jjk) !

features: yuuji i. megumi f. nobara k. yuuta o. maki z. toge i. satoru g. suguru g. toji f. kento n. sukuna r. choso k.

contents: manga spoilers. some fanon because not everything has been revealed yet. song headcanons. character analysis. angst. tw because jjk lore is fucked up. strong language. megumi, yuuta, gojo, and geto favoritism. sukuna's part is a lot of reaching because we know nothing about his backstory. 3.4k words.

yuuji itadori is working for the knife by mitski. this song shows yuuji's change in character during the shibuya arc, how nothing goes his way any longer and his will is worn thin again and again. "i cry at the start of every movie, i guess'cause i wish i was making things too" this shows yuuji's passion to make a life for himself, to make something that will last in this world beyond death, his grandfather's dying wish. "i always knew the world moves on, i just didn't know it would go without me" with this we can see yuuji's desperation to catch up to people like megumi and nobara but the world passes him by over and over again (ex. cursed womb, junpei). "i start the day high and it ends so low 'cause i'm working for the knife" yuuji goes into everything with hope and positivity but it often ends up with him losing something or feeling some sort of grief, his heart is broken over and over again by jujutsu. "i always thought the choice was mine, and i was right, but i just chose wrong" this resembles yuuji's choice to absorb sukuna, something he thought ws his descision and only something he could do. but when sukuna merges with megumi he is forced to consider whether he made the right choice and he acknowledges that he is not the only one who can do such. "i start the day lying and end with the truth, that i'm dying for the knife".

megumi fushiguro is who are you, really by mikky ekko. this song shows megumi's evolution as a character from a quiet boy to a true sorcerer (see: domain expansion discovery, shibuya). "so you feel entitled to a sense of control, and make decisions you think are your own" with this we can see megumi's attitude of superiority towards yuuji at the beginning of the series, and his general attitude towards his peers until his development. he feels that due to his long running experience and power, along with his intelligence, that these people are below him. "you are a stranger here, why have you come?" with this we can see megumi's hesitance to trust anybody, especially new people. this applies later in shibuya where he is unwilling to trust the incarnated toji (at the time, the correct decision), which ends up with his father recognizing him and killing himself to avoid hurting his son any longer. "who, who are you really? and where are you going?" megumi really has no sense of self for a decent chunk before shibuya, he is kind of just there. he has a personality but he does not have a reason for being like all of his peers do, he does not know who he is or what he wishes to do, he's just doing it to do it. "i have nothing left to prove, 'cause i have nothing left to lose, see me bear my teeth for you" in this we can encapsulate his development when he discovers chimera shadow garden. it's messy and last ditch, he has nothing left to lose and no one to prove himself to so he throws t all on a desperate attempt to try to create something truly for anf of himself, it's as messy as it is true. and it is what sets the path to allow megumi to define himself.

nobara kugisaki is primadonna by marina and the diamonds. this song shows nobara's materialistic nature and her confident personality as well as her more complex backstory. "all i ever wanted was the world" with this we can show her past, when all she wants is to spend time with saori, which at the time is her entire world. "would you do anything for me? buy a big diamond ring for me?" with this we can see the more materialistic sides of her personality, which all come from her humble upbringing in that little town. "i know i've go a big ego, i really don't know why it's such a big deal though" this resembles nobara's more confident side, where she is really proud of who she is and often cannot understand why others are not (see: the situation between her and momo about mai). "fill the void with celluloid. take a picture, i'm with the boys" nobara hides her sadness by living it up, because she wants to be able to go to saori and tell her about all the amazing things she did. she doesn't want saori to feel bad for leaving her, she wants to find her and then they can have fun just like they did when they were children, fun in the way that they couldn't have back in that country town..

yuuta okkotsu is little dark age by mgmt. this song helps show yuuta's greif at rika's death and his transformation into a sorcerer. "the ruins of the day, painted with a scar" this represents how yuuta never truly got over rika's death, the scar being her curse, something that he carved but will never leave him.. "and the more i straighten out, the less i want to try" as yuuta goes through his life, rika wreaks havoc unintentionally, making him give up on ever living a normal life again: rather isolating himself in misery or straight up trying to kill himself instead. "oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain" yuuta harnesses rika's power and temporarily is able to control her cruse in order to gain power when he needs it. but it is not whole and complete and is done quite selfishly, rika has not gotten peace yet. "just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away" yuuta tries to supress rika for so long rather than embracing her and this just ends up making things worse for him, even when he tries to hide her by channeling her power into a sword it is not anywhere near his peak after he releases rika from the curse in his fight against geto. "oh-oh, i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange" in yuuta's grief he creates the curse that rika is. unintentionally he curses this little girl and keeps her soul with him for nearly a decade after death, blaming her the entire time when he was the one who chained her soul to himself. eventually she finds peace and is able to pass on, but yuuta will forever be left with this constant reminder of his dead, first love and it is the source of all of his power. to give up and move on would be to relinquish what gives him strength, so he's trapped in this loophole of grief to keep the flame of his strength alive, never able to give himself the closure he gave her.

maki zen'in is oh no by marina and the diamonds. this song shows maki's development and past almost seamlessly, it also shows her parallels with toji well. "don't need money, don't need fame, i just wanna make a change" this shows how maki is not a sorcerer for the money or regard, but to change things. she just wants to change the jujutsu world, specifically the zen'ins so that there can be a place for her and mai to be safe. "i know exactly what i want and who i want to be" maki does not question who she is and her goals despite constant shame and ridicule by her clan, and eventually her own sister, she stays true to herself through it all. "i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy" maki ends up nearly dying at the hands of a curse and she emerges changed. eventually she realizes her strength at the cost of her sisters life (will be more explained later) and fulfills the gap that toji left behind, fully embracing his legacy. "'cause i feel like i'm the worst, so i always act like i'm the best" maki's aloof persona is brought on as a way to cope with always being shut out and put down, she acts like she's better than everyone because all her life she was told she was below everyone. "if you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you" maki's sister sacrifices herself in an attempt to save maki and perfectly recreates toji's famous weapon out of her body. maki uses this sword and slaughters nearly the entire zen'in clan. he rage takes her over and she becomes more of a possession of violence for that period.

toge inumaki is soap by melanie martinez. this song shows how toge must constantly think about what he says and how when he does not it can be catastrophic. "guess i better wash my mouth out with soap" we can take this literally and think that all the words inumaki is able to say are always so negative, like he is constantly telling cursed to kill themselves pretty much (see: blast away, explode, get crushed). "i'm tried of being careful, tip-toe, trying to keep the water warm" it must be so emotionally and mentally taxing to constantly watch what you're saying like inumaki has to constantly. think about wanting to say something so desperately but you can't, or if nobody could ever understand you again. he can never truly talk and express himself vocally without risking hurting somebody or himself. "i feel it coming out my throat, guess i better wash my mouth out with soap" with this we can see the pain that comes with inumaki from just speaking, like his power makes him. just one simple word can destroy his throat. "god, i wish i never spoke, now i gotta was my mouth out with soap" in assumption, if inumaki ever accidentally spoke without thinking, he would feel such an insurmountable guilt. it's something as simple as a word and he is able to cause so much pain, it would make anyone hesitant to ever speak again. inumaki's power is such a double edged sword in its effectiveness and ease of use, it effects his every day life where he can never have experiences that all his friends do so easily.

satoru gojo is seventeen by marina and the diamonds. this song encapsulates his character and his development pretty well. i saw this on tiktok (can't remember the user) and i agree wholeheartedly. the chorus is especially compliant to his character."i felt you question the way-ay i was brought up as a baby" this can exemplify the effect that the six eyes and limitless had on his childhood, because he can never have an experience that is comparable to any other person. "could never tell you what happened the day i turned seventeen" his arc for s2 is when he is seventeen, including everything that happens with suguru. "the rise of a king, and the fall of a queen" this resembles satoru and suguru's relationship, as gojo climbs and becomes the strongest; suguru falls to the burden of his curse and his ideals. in the end, gojo becomes the strongest and suguru 'falls from grace' in that he becomes a curse user. the song fits him well beyond the chorus as well. "oh, you were embarrassed if me 'cause i used my tongue freely" this is an example of how, despite being the pillar of it, gojo constantly brings shame to the higher-ups with his attitude, especially in his younger years. "no, no i'm not your little slave, no i don't twist and turn that way" this also shows his relationship with the higher-ups in how he so vehemently hates being a pawn for these people that he hates, how he is used as some weapon. i could go on and on about this song and gojo but i'll cut it off so there isn't too apparent favoritism.

suguru geto is my old man by mac demarco. this song shows suguru's change into the very thing he hates. how he loses all of his morals, which were the only things that truly kept him sane, and becomes the one thing he vowed to never become. "look in the mirror, who do you see? someone familiar, but surely, not me" we can see the struggle that he goes through as he changes, as we saw with his physicality in the manga. as his entire worldview shifts drastically he and everyone he knows no longer recognizes him, he becomes a different person. "but it just can't be. look at all the steps that brought you where you are today" we can see suguru questioning his entire life up until that point in this. we see the struggle he goes through as he so desperately tries to cling onto the shreds of his morals that he once held so highly on a pedestal. "as a heart grows stronger, sometimes love is pushed away" this resembles his relationship with satoru, in that as geto and suguru are finding themselves, they become distant and lose each other in the process. "oh, no, looks like i'm seeing more of my old man in me" this shows suguru slowly recognizing that he is falling apart at the seams. he is seeing all the things he once hated in himself, he is becoming the once thing he vowed to never become, and he is losing everything he held dear all at the same time..

toji fushiguro is oh no by marina and the diamonds. this song shows his struggle with being born as a non-sorcerer within one of the big three families. "want it fast, want it hard" in a literal sense we can take this onto toji's physicality, he is extremely fast and extremely strong, something he was able to achieve unlike any other human of this world, something that the sorcerers that looked down on him could not. "i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy" this can exemplify toji's unraveling during his fight after gojo resuscitates, how he gives in to the feeling that he pushed back, how he feels fear for the first time, how he feared dying and actually dies. "if you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you" toji's unwillingness to back down and his will to fight drives him to his death in his battle with gojo as he loses at the one thing he is good at. "tv taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal" in this, we can see just how dull toji is when he is not in battle, how he blows all his money gambling without a care, because he does not truly wish to be alive. "i'm gonna live, i'm gonna fly. i'm gonna fail, i'm gonna die" again, in a literal sense, we can apply this to the difference between his two battles with gojo, how he is so haughty at the first but unravels in sight of his demise at the second. toji's convoluted character is describe soundly in this song.

kento nanami is nobody by mitski. this song represents nanami's despondence for society and most people, despite this he just wants to live a normal life, the life yu haibara deserved to have lived. "my god, i'm so lonely" after haibara's death nanami didn't really have anybody to lean on, he was the only person who truly understood him, so he leaves the jujutsu world to try to live the normal life that his best friend deserved. "venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming. did it's people want too much too?" nanami's life is destroyed by sonething that should not happen to children, so he becomes obsessed with not letting other kids (yuuji) experience similar tragedies, because there was no adult there for him. "guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel alright" nanami wishes to be happy and normal, he wants to work so he can retire and live a long carefree life. a life away from jujutsu sorcery and it's despondency, but he eventually winds right back in that world, saving someone just like him. "and i know no one will save me" nanami is incredibly at peace with the concept of dying, so he does not expect to be save , he does not hope for salvation (see: mahito domain, and when he actually dies). nanami lived a life where he never truly healed, he never truly had someone by his side that understood him, that person died in yu haibara over a decade ago.

sukuna ryomen is the fruits by paris paloma. this song represents sukuna's identity as the original curse, but it also incorporates some of his past as a sorcerer and his past with uraume. "i have no time for confession, for i'm too busy committing sins" sukuna does not acknowledges the travesties that he has committed, because he simply does too many of them to be able to remember. "'angel' he calls me, does he know that i'm failing from a precipice that i tripped of long ago?" uraume worships and serves sukuna despite his horrible acts and his terrible personality. but does he know that sukuna was once the very thing they fight against, that he was once a sorcerer, that his fate as a sorcerer lead him down this path as the kind of curses. "for if i'm going down, i guess i'll take you with me" sukuna is the kind of person to drag someone down with him. urarume stays with him even beyond death, helping to aid him once he revives because he truly trusts and believes that sukuna will return. "i feel your lips kissing my feet, but even so, oh! oh, call me a devil" sukuna was worshiped during his time on the earth, yet so many people despised him and called him a monster despite claiming to have him as their deity. even when he was in complete power there were still people praying on his downfall despite claiming to be praying to him..

choso is fish in a birdcage by fish in a birdcage. this song helps to explain choso's relationship with his brothers and the value he places upon them and eventually yuuji. "my brother always sings me songs, with his beak he tries to soothe me, he makes me feel that i belong" choso and his brother makes each other feel whole. they make each other feel normal when they are truly the only beings like each other in the world the only half human half curses to ever exist. "so carry me from these walls, brother of mine, show me the world outside" choso feels the duty to free all of his brothers from their cursed wombs, to fee them from their imprisonment. he wishes to show them a life they can truly life, a happy life (see: picnic scene where he thinks yuuji is his brother). "i'm counting on you, to be my wings and my eyes" him and his brothers agreed to fully rely on each other, they vow to protect one another no matter what, they trust each other wholly. "you gave me more than i could ask for, indistinguishability" once his brothers leave this world, he feels nothing but grief. but when he becomes deluded that yuuji too is his brother, he cannot help but feel so grateful to have another chance to protect his baby brother, a chance of redemption. maybe yuuji really is his brother, is his mother was kenjaku's vessel and noritoshi kamo (he old one) was also his vessel, they would be sort of related.

okkotsuus 23

[goosewriting]

I had this idea and now I'm kinda obsessed with it,, can you do Leo in a relationship with a reader who's big Mama's kid? The others have recently found out and they have their doubts on if the relationship can last (they're not unsupportive or anything, they just have doubts) the reader says to Leo the 9th and 48th pink prompts. ("Reader: they say we're not going to last")

Prove them wrong (rottmnt Leo x reader)

prompt 9: “You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.” prompt 48: “They say we won't last.” “Then let's prove them wrong.”

summary: the turtles find out you're Big Mama’s kid.

relationship: Rise!Leo x GN reader

warnings: none

word count: ~670

A/N: i actually kinda like this idea? has a lot of potential for going a bit deeper into the whole “is blood thicker than water?” concept. but i had to keep it short for this one, hope you like it!

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

After the whole Big Mama and Oozesquitoes fiasco, the turtle brothers made it back to the lair where you were waiting for them, and they told you about her betrayal. Out of all the possible responses, they had not expected you to confess to them that Big Mama was, in fact, your real mama.

They knew you were half yokai, half human. But you bore no real resemblance to her arachnid person. You came more like your father, looking human on the outside, but you did have more resilience, strength and agility, as well as the ability to climb walls. 

Now that your secret was revealed, the brothers, especially Donnie, were rather sceptical towards you. You were Leo’s partner, and they had liked you since day one, but their attitude towards you changed after you told them about your mother, and it saddened you. You regretted telling them who you were at that moment. But you could hide it no longer, trying to explain why it would be hard for you to engage in a fight with Big Mama.

Leo asked you if that’s why you always wore a hood when you accompanied them to the Hidden City and always declined to enter the Nexus Hotel. You confirmed his suspicions, telling him about how you had essentially escaped from home and didn’t want Big Mama to see you there.

You pulled Leo with you a couple of steps away from the rest so you could talk in private.

“I’m sorry I’ve been hiding this from all of you for so long” you whispered, cupping his face. “I just wanted to leave it all behind. I didn’t mean to betray you guys’ trust.”

He wanted to interject, but you tilted your head with a slight shake and furrowed brows. Your eyes mapped out his features, coming back up to meet his gaze, and you gave him a sad smile that made his chest tighten in pain.

“You make me feel alive, Leo. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe. I don’t want to lose that.”

Leo could see in your eyes that you were telling him the truth. Meeting the turtles and hanging out with them had made you feel like you finally had a place where you belonged, and you had never been so happy as you were with them. And you loved Leo, whole-heartedly. So it hurt to see the other brothers putting distance between them and you because of a relationship you had no real control over.

But you also understood that Big Mama had now become kind of an enemy to them, with her being in on the whole Oozesquito situation. And apparently she didn’t care about humans all that much either. To make it all worse, she was now on bad terms with Draxum too, which made everything so much more complicated.

You let out a shaky sigh thinking about this, wanting nothing more than to go back to how things were before: simple and happy. This whole situation was convoluted and weird and the others probably thought that at some point you may have a conflict of interests when it came to choosing sides. Sure, she was your mother, so you didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, but you couldn’t support her… business.

Leo pulled you in for a proper hug after you explained all of these fears to him, and gave your temple a kiss. He admitted that he was also scared about you having to face the situation of choosing sides, but he assured you it would all work out in the end, no matter what happened. 

You looked to the side, seeing the turtle brothers doing their own thing with their shells to you. You had heard what they said when they thought you couldn’t hear. 

“Your brothers” you pulled back to look up at Leo. “They say we won't last.”

He gave you a lopsided smile, taking your hands and giving them a reassuring squeeze.

“Then let's prove them wrong.”

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @hearteyedracoon, @koalaray, @maribatshipper, @whygz, @xnorthstar3x

[lordmartiya]

@mlbfemslashfebruary My (late) entry for day 14, dedicated to the weirdly fascinating pairing of Lila and Marinette. Set early in season 4, here's the first half of "Trust and Secrets Are to Be Treasured".

It was bad enough for Marinette that she had a cold, and had to skip school and the date with Luka. But to have Lila, of all people, bring her the homework? Get in her room while she couldn’t keep her away from her secrets?

“You do realize your mom will kill me if I try anything funny, right?” Lila said, almost as if she had read her mind. Or just her expression. “You say anything, and she demonstrates on me how a Monk’s Spade technique can be applied to a baker’s spatula.”

“How do you know about that?” Marinette asked, worried about how much her worst school enemy knew about her family.

“She did it on live television during the debacle with Jagged Stone, and then I looked up what Chinese weapon resembles a spatula the most. But let’s talk about sweeter things… Like these bugie I’ve brought you. They’re my favorite bakery good.”

For a moment, Marinette feared the food the other one was offering her was poisoned. Then her mind translated the food’s name, and she realized Lila Rossi was literally feeding her lies, and admitted she liked them.

“Seriously?” she asked as she involuntarily chuckled. “That was worse than Chat Noir’s puns.”

“Thank you. Though I suspect you’d like my truth better.” was Lila’s reply as she produced an envelope. “Here I have a handwritten list of all the false claims I’ve made and other bullshit I’ve pulled since I came to Paris, including a few things you would never suspect, and an USB drive with evidence, all to be used as needed.”

“What?! What are you trying to pull?”

“I’ve simply realized I fucked up. Deeply. Did you know I collaborated with the big bad butterfly man willingly, twice? All knowing I can easily take the idiot down and “save Paris”… And then that jackass’ stunt in New York nearly destroyed the world, twice. And I found out he got Shanghai destroyed by accident, though Ladybug fixed that. That’s when I realized the mess I’m getting myself into just to get back at the spotted near-nudist” once again Marinette cringed at her costume being practically painted on “and panicked. I was this close turning my hair in a wig and abusing embassy resources to create myself a few fake identities when I realized there was a better way, just give my leash to someone I can trust not to abuse it. That is, you.”

Marinette blinked as she processed the situation. To quote Chloé it was utterly ridiculous… But it made sense. It was even flattering that Lila trusted her so much. Still, she had to ask something.

“Why do you hate Ladybug so much?”

“Because she nearly destroyed me out of jealousy. I mean, remember my famous interview? I expected Alya to hold on it for a few days and then verify it with Ladybug, allowing me to reveal I had pranked the entire school… And then It was published on the same day. How many chances that Alya could be stupid enough to publish it without checking? And I even helped her getting some information I had stumbled upon and she was looking after on that day… Right as I was flirting with Adrien. Clearly she saw it and went to Alya to confirm it and then humiliate me, only for Adrien’s reaction not being what she expected and changing her plans.”

Marinette had almost no answer to that, not after what she had done with Kagami out of jealousy. Except that “Alya becomes an idiot whenever Ladybug is involved. Enough she thought Chloé was her even after she was saved by Ladybug on live television.”

“And how was she supposed to know it wasn’t a Lucky Charm decoy? At the time it was still plausible. But nevermind that. I hope I’m proven wrong… And trust you to keep the secret until it becomes necessary to stop me.”

“Ohhh…Kay. I’ll do it. What about Adrien?”

“There’s billions of people on this planet, I’m not going to obsess on one of them that already has a girlfriend. I think I already told you that once. And speaking of them… I’ve heard Andrè the Ice Cream Man let you choose your own magic ice cream, and it was orange and green like my favorite outfit?”

At that, Marinette blushed. She also swore to get even with whoever told Lila about that.

[leafkingofbirds]

WIP Wednesday

More Jack/Kieran conversation!!

Please forgive my verbosity haha (this is so long omg it needs editing)

Jack stares at Kieran, uncomprehending and wary.

“I could hate you for all you’ve done,” Kieran begins. “In fact, I wish that I could. It would be far, far easier to hate you. To condemn you, kill you, and feel vindicated, without ever having to accept the truth. Instead, I must confront the facts. I must acknowledge that, despite the abhorrent actions you took, the offenses you committed against me...they were not entirely unwarranted. Your crimes deserve punishment – for the murder of my most beloved knight, whose innocence and lifetime of dedication to my family demands I bring his spirit justice. But I will not kill you, Jack. There must be peace between our peoples, at long last, and killing you would only continue a destructive cycle. For the sake of everyone I love and have ever loved, I am compelled to make this right. Somehow, we must find a way to change things. And I can’t do that without you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re their leader. They will follow you, Jack. I’ve seen them. Few mortals would find the bravery to invade the Moon Court without such a general at their head. Your people will not trust me, and, I admit, they have no reason to. But your job is not finished. Join your army with my cause, and let us together take down Opulence.”

Jack makes a face toward Ella, her aura of magic softened - but still evident. “You have your super-charged mortal weapon right there. Use it. Use her. No army of mine can compare.”

Kieran resists the urge to bristle at the dehumanization. He’s angry, lashing out like a wounded animal. Trying to inflict any wound he can. 

Kieran knew exactly how that felt.

He took a moment to ensure his voice was calm, no to rise to Jack’s bait. “Perhaps Ella’s magic is enough to take back the Sources - but she is still just one person. And this fight concerns us all.”

“No,” Jack says immediately. “They’ve suffered enough under my command. I won’t lead them into certain death.”

“I can’t die,” Ella interjects, making them both turn to look at her. Her arms crossed in front of her, she looks haughty, almost bored. “I’m not Fae. No weapon can stop me. Let me lead them.”

Kieran can’t help but flinch at how eagerly she jumps to violence, remembering her callous disregard for life on either side of the battle, destroying everything without restraint. 

That is not my Ella. That is a stranger wearing her face.

“Ella,” Kieran says, unable to bare looking at her. “Could you give me a moment alone with Jack, please?”

“Suit yourself. I’ll be outside the door. If you try anything, Jack–”

“He won’t,” Kieran assures them both, locking eyes with Jack. Ella leaves, closing the door behind her.

Jack’s gaze fits uncomfortably to Kieran, and somehow, without knowing this man – without knowing he ever existed until a scant time ago – there is something of an aching familiarity, pulled deep from the recesses of his heart and memory. To look upon someone of his own blood, when he thought he never would do such a thing again…

“Why did you do that?”

“To gain your trust. At the moment, Ella is not herself, and her magic is more than both of us combined. This is between us - let us stand on equal ground and speak man to man. Without my secret weapon.” Kieran sighs audibly, hating himself, hating what he knows he must do. “I look at you, Jack…and I cannot help but see the resemblances between us. Had our fates been reversed, I very well may have followed the same path you forged that found us here today. I would feel the need to make others suffer the way I have suffered. You’ve committed a grievous wound to me, and it’s one that will not heal quickly, if it ever shall. But…I look at you and I see our mother’s eyes. I see a man who should have grown up beside me…who should have been my brother. I see many wrongs that can never be put right.”

Kieran is surprised at how much the urge to pummel Jack lessens as he speaks. Whatever spirit of grace Ella had infused in him was still at work, even now that her own merciful heart was gone.

Jack sucks in a pained breath, and Kieran falters only briefly at the glimpse of this alternate life that flashes before his eyes. He had never once aired these thoughts, not even to Ella. Had scarcely allowed himself to entertain the idealistic imaginings that he should have long since outgrown. 

But he couldn’t help picturing what childhood might have been like, trailing in the footsteps of an elder brother. Someone he could have looked up to and admired. Who could have given him advice. Been there beside him, as a comfort, a guide. Perhaps it would have been Jack learning swordplay with Sir Monty, Jack laughing as he bested his teacher for the first time, with a friendly rivalry. 

The path of those thoughts was a downward spiral, too painful to continue. Kieran quickly pulled himself away before it drowned him.

Even now, looking into Jack’s eyes, still so full of suspicion and an unwillingness to surrender, Kieran can see the young man Jack once was, and know that he would have idolized these same traits in his elder brother. This strength, bravery, and determination.

Kieran has to force away the emotion in his voice. “I spent a long century cursed and alone, Jack. I pushed away, or frightened away, everyone but Longclaw and Sir Montgomery. Until Ella came along, it was a century empty of love or hope. And now, knowing that all along, you were experiencing the same? It fills me with grief. But I was given a second chance, and it changed everything. Tis only fair I offer you the same. You should have been allowed to grow up a prince. To be welcomed home to your…family.”

I wouldn’t have been alone. Neither of us would have been alone.

It would have caused no end of scandal, Kieran knew, if he had known of Jack and welcomed him into his court. It might have even sparked a way between the courts. But there was a part of Kieran that wished it could have happened. He would have fought that battle if it meant none of the rest of this had ever happened.

Jack’s throat bobs on a swallow. He says nothing for a moment, then… “You can’t tell me a halfling bastard would have been allowed to become a prince of Fae. And if my parents had stayed together in defiance of the Sun Court, you would not have been born.”

Kieran grimaces. Jack isn’t wrong. The most likely outcome, if Jack’s father and their mother ran off together with the infant Jack, all three of them would be dead now, and Kieran would have never existed. 

 “I’d like to believe we could have changed things, given time. The crown grants many privileges of rule. Once my mother was gone…Well. We can’t say what might have been. But I wish I had known. I would have sought you myself. All of this could have been avoided.”

Jack’s mouth screws up into a petulant frown, and he crosses his arms over his chest. “Really?. What would you have done, Night Prince? Welcomed me to sit on the throne? Given over your crown, and shared dominion over half of the realm?”

Kieran feels the urge to rip out his hair. “Gods, you are infuriating. Now I see what my parents had to endure with me. Jack, listen to me, damn you. I am offering to share that power now.”

If anything, Jack’s suspicious eyes only narrow more.

“You have shown yourself a good leader – I’ve seen how you take care of your people, not risking their lives unnecessarily. You’ve managed to take down both courts with an army of mortals, something that has never been done since their creation. I have no choice but to respect that. And what Fae remain will have no choice but respect you. Or fear you.”

“So you wish to install me as a puppet to pacify the unwashed masses? I set out to destroy the courts, not join them!”

“You set out to save your father, Jack. Perhaps abolishing the courts was simply a convenient bonus, and I understand why. But the courts were formed because Fae are too powerful to exist without laws governing their behavior. So consider that in order to gain something out of all of this disastrous mess, you may have to compromise a little.”

Jack glares at Kieran, but he’s no longer arguing. Which meant he was listening, at long last. 

“I want mortals to have a place in the future of this realm. I want this realm to have a future. The responsibility of these lands has rested on my shoulders since I was old enough to stand.” Kieran glares. “This goes against my nature, I hope you appreciate that. If we had met a year ago, things would have been very different - but I am a changed man. I owe many things to Ella, but most of all I have learned to admit when I am wrong. Here and now, Jack, I offer the hand of peace. And with it, an offering to change centuries of injustice.”

Jack stares at him in disbelief. “I don’t believe a word of this.”

“I do not lie,” Kieran hisses, insulted. “A tyrant now holds all the power of Fae. That is your fault. We are going to win it back, or die trying. Join me. Take the first step in showing that Fae and changeling need not be enemies. For whatever it may be worth, coming from a crownless, mortal, powerless prince –  I’m offering you a chance to help shape the world we rebuild from the ashes into something better. For us all.”

There is no lessening of Jack’s suspicion. “If I refuse, are you going to let your consort kill me? What strange curse have you put upon her to make her so powerful?”

“I did nothing,” Kieran growls. “Ella made the only choice she thought could save the ones she loves - from you. She sacrificed her heart to gain magic no mortal was meant to possess, and it stole away everything that she was.”

Jack’s eyes went wide. “She used the mortality cure.”

“It is no cure. It is a curse,” Kieran tells Jack viciously, who glares back, unrepentant. “It stole Ella away from me and made her empty. And it would have done the same to your father. No magic can stave off death forever. But my Ella would not want you to die. And in her stead, I must do what she would have wanted.”

Jack doesn’t fully believe him, Kieran can tell. But he’s beginning to.

“Help me fix this,” Kieran urges.

“You acknowledge the world can’t return to what it was?” Jack asks, venom in his voice. “I won’t help you return Fae to power while mortals beg for scraps.”

“You did a fairly thorough job of dismantling the Sun Court,” Kieran muses. “So I imagine the world cannot return to what it was, no matter what happens next. But the magic of Fae must always be held in balance. Someone must be strong enough to hold the key to the sources of magic, and willing to keep unruly Fae in line by whatever means necessary.”

“So you propose yourself for the role, I assume?” Jack sneers. “Trading one tyrant for another.”

“No,” Kieran snaps, insulted. “I propose we return to the Moon Palace to reunite with whoever is left. And that we all work together to determine what our shared future will look like. We aren’t bound by the constraints of the past any longer. None remain who installed those unequal structures of power. I’m offering you a chance no other Fae has ever offered a mortal, let alone a changeling, to influence what comes next.”

Jack’s eyes widen slightly, a flash of surprise. “You want credit for doing the bare minimum? Why would any Fae ever give up one iota of their power? Let alone a prince?” He sneers the word with derision.

Kieran’s irritation flares, and he tamps it down with some effort. “Because despite what you may believe, I have known what it means to suffer. In fact I have known little else. I have watched every last member of my family die at the hands of those who professed peace, until I alone was left to defend and uphold my court. I have been betrayed and cursed heartless by someone I believed to love me, forced to roam the night as a thoughtless beast for a hundred years, unable to feel love or happiness. I offer this because you are the last of my blood, and you too have suffered unjustly. Because I have found peace in the love of a mortal, and I must save her from this curse. Because I tire of pain. I have had my fill of it. And I’m not the only one.”

Kieran glances behind him, where Ella has gone. Despair spins into a whirlpool inside him at how empty Ella's eyes have become, knowing she won't be there to give them the advice he needs. He turns back to Jack, who at long last has the decent to look shaken. “I’m tired, Jack. I’m tired of losing those I love. Aren’t you?”

Instead of answering, Jack looks toward his father’s body, and he squeezes his eyes closed. 

Kieran softens his voice. “More than vengeance, more than anything, what I want now is to create a world in which these things cannot happen to another generation.”

“The selfless Fae prince,” Jack scoffs bitterly, not looking at him. There's tears in his voice. “Such an unlikely choice of hero for this fairy tale.”

Kieran, fed up, grabs Jack and hauls him to his feet, forcing him to look Kieran in the eye. “Do not mistake me: I am a selfish man. I am not merciful or kind. But while my Ella cannot be…” Kieran closes his eyes briefly, trying to remember her smile. “Then I must be both, for her sake. The reason you are still alive is not because I lack magic, but because I choose to break this cycle. You may be stronger than most mortals, but even without my magic, you are no match for me."

Jack glares and bristles, an argument ready in his mouth. Kieran can see it, and the beast in him roars its ugly head and dares him to say it, wants the fight, wants to be justified in venting his rage with fists and more pointless bloodshed that would solve nothing.

Instead, Kieran lets go of Jack, and steps away. “You don't trust me; that's fine. I wouldn't trust me, either. But you must decide if your cause is worth more than your ego. For I will create a new world from the ashes of what you have destroyed. I will move heaven and earth, do whatever must be done, because I wish to finally know what it is to live in peace. I want to know what it is to have hope in a better future. And I want to love my Ella as well and as long as fate grants us. It is not only for our mother’s sake that I spare your life, but mine as well. I do not want to live a life chained to hatred and vengeance any longer. I want to learn what it’s like to have a brother, to create a new kind of family. I want to live my life with a clear conscience. The question is…do you?”

Jack’s lips part, as if he means to speak, but no words come out. He pushes himself away from the wall, his legs trembling. 

“It seems I am not the only stubborn, foolishly idealistic one in this room.” Jack’s eyes move to his father’s deathbed once more. He’s exhausted, wounded, weakened. There is blood pooling where he fell. And yet he sets his jaw and thrusts out his hand. “This will not be easy. Even with your secret weapon. Even if we best Opulence, the rest of Fae will fight you tooth and nail. They will resist any attempts at change.”

Kieran can’t help but smirk. “I know my countrymen perhaps better than you, Jack. But I am their prince. And they will bow when I tell them to.”

“With that kind of confidence…” Jack coughs, hacking and wet, blood in his teeth. Kieran had wounded him perhaps worse than Jack had let on. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Kieran allows himself a smile. “My thoughts exactly.”

"That world you describe…” Jack begins, his voice choking only a little. “It's something my father always hoped to live long enough to see. Perhaps...perhaps we can yet fulfill his dream. I think I owe him...that much."

Jack's shaking hand takes hold of Kieran’s, and the brothers touch for the first time in peace instead of in violence.

[klutzyroses]

IkePri HCs: Finding out S/o is a princess

How do they react when Sariel tells them their s/o is an endangered princess from a faraway country?

Suitors: Leon's faction

Leon

Y/N...

To find out that Y/N was the princess of a nearly fallen kingdom and she had escaped as a young girl but was now being pursued...

He is quite shocked to hear it, and his protectiveness of her increases tenfold. If what Sariel was telling him is true, then his beloved was in grave danger, should she be discovered.

He will be quite understanding about why she kept this a secret, but he still wishes she could have told him.

That's what he tells her when he sits her down to talk with her. Of course he quickly reassures her that he isn't angry. A little hurt, but not angry.

Not just that she kept it to herself, but also that she had to endure the burden, all alone in a country she didn't know, always looking over her shoulder, dreading the day she could be discovered by those who sought to harm her or profit from her.

He feels even worse knowing that she only kept quiet to protect him, lest he got dragged into danger by association.

"I want you to know this changes nothing about how I feel for you."

And he means it. He loves her just the same, just as she loved him just the same. To that end, he swears he will protect her from whatever threat comes her way. He presses his forehead to hers, his amber eyes sincere and fierce with the weight of his vow to her, to his princess.

"Whatever happens, I won't let you go or let anyone threaten your happiness."

Jin

Well damn...

He really wasn't expecting that at all.

The fact was, he knew a thing or two about identities needing to be a little covert but not quite to the extent of being a runaway princess of a kingdom that had been allied to Rhodolite before it fell to near ruin...

He understood fully why she didn't say anything, it was reasonable and cautious of her to be wary who she could bestow such a secret without fear of being betrayed or outed.

It made sense, one could easily pretend to be her friend, gain her trust, only to take advantage of her situation and benefit from it.

He lets her know that he knows everything but assures her that he is willing to listen if she is willing to talk. He doesn't pressure her, despite the worry inside him growing bigger and bigger.

"I'm here to listen to you, not to push you."

So when she opens up to him, he listens quietly without interrupting and has her lean on him when she is finished telling her story.

"You don't have to worry about being safe, I won't let anything happen. I'm not the only one who feels that way, but I feel tenfold compared to the rest."

Yves

She's what?!?

He almost didn't believe what he was hearing. But after Sariel provides him with proof of his lover's royal heritage, including a portrait of her as a young child with the King and Queen, and the unmistakable resemblance she has to the Queen confirms her identity for him.

He immediately marches to confront her, almost busting down her door, scaring the living daylights out of the girl.

"Why didn't you tell me?! I...I could've helped you...!"

He is so not happy that she hid from him, as well as hurt that she felt she had to carry it all by herself. It breaks his heart to think how much stress and pressure it must have been to constantly worry who could and could not be trusted, who could be endangered for being attached to her, forcing her to always live under the looming threat of capture or worse.

He will take her hands, pinning her down under him as his deep blue eyes bore into hers, filled with emotion as his fingers link with hers. He wants...no, needs her to know that she and her secret are safe with him, that he would protect her forever and always.

"I won't let anything happen to you. I'm going to keep you safe no matter what...so no more secrets...promise me."

Licht

....

He actually wasn't entirely sure how to react or feel when the minister told him the truth about the woman he loved.

What was he supposed to think? Part of him wants to not be too fazed, but the other part...

She was in danger? Who was after her? He wouldn't let any harm come to her, they would have to get past him.

He may not appear to be the most sympathetic soul in Rhodolite but he understands it must be frightening to be in such a precarious position, the fate of an entire kingdom placed squarely on one's shoulders, hanging on whether or not they live or die.

"...I understand."

They're just two words that he tells her once he brings it up to her in private, but they carry so much weight.

He understands fully that she was just trying to survive, though he would rather she had confided in him. After all, she taught him the value of unburdening one's soul of their troubles and worries, and while it was still a work in progress, he wants her to feel okay with telling him her woes. Which is why it means so much when he covers her hand with his and meets her gaze with eyes of crimson.

"I don't mind so much if you rely on me with this..."

🌸

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

Smoke and Mirrors II

BG3 AU, where Professor Dekarios and his TA, Meg, have an emergency that brings the fire department and one very tall, tattooed medic to the scene.

(AKA the one where you have a crush on your coworker professor and Halsin is a firefighter paramedic with suspenders and doorways) (I regret absolutely nothing)

@general-dweebous HAPPY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY

“So, tell me what happened.” The medic stood next to you, toothpick between his lips, leaning one arm against the desk and other hand on his hip. He had just assigned five of his men to open the rest of the windows to ventilate the room after making sure the fire was actually smothered. One had left a bag of supplies near Halsin to better treat your ankle before going to turn the alarm system off. The cross breeze ruffled his long hair; most of it was tied into a bun in the back, but the bunker gear must have mussed it a bit since it now very much resembled—

Ohhhhhkay, he’s asking me something, stop thinking about sex hair  …and the way he probably looks half naked with the suspenders on, …ohh gods now it’s worse.

Your thoughts were like a litter of kittens in a box full of catnip-flavored toys.

“Sorry, um the pain isn’t helping me focus.” It was true. It wasn’t the entire truth, but it was part of it.

“Hmm, understandable. Was anyone else there to witness how you’d fallen?” The medic kneeled down to one knee to get a better look at the ankle. 

“I don’t think so, I kind of careened down the stairs by myself,” you adjusted your skirt back down as subtly as possible.

“Just you?”

“Yup.”

He nodded sagely, “Sounds like you deserve a raise, to say the least. Or maybe consider volunteering some time at the station,” He continued to survey your ankle without touching it. “Once this is healed, of course,” a cheeky smile up at you. He looked back down, “We could use that kind of moxie. Do you mind if I touch you?”

Air left the room. Your face grew hot. “Um—”

“Your ankle, I need to palpate it to make sure it’s not broken.”

“YES, ha, totally. That’s—AHEM—that’s fine.”

The left corner of his lip twitched before he began inspecting the joint. Gently angling your foot,  he muttered, “Tell me if it hurts.” It ached in just about every direction, but considering how you could still bend your toes and no particularly ugly bruising seemed to appear, he believed it was likely just a sprain. “Still very unpleasant, but you should be alright in the end. I would still like to bring you in for imaging, however, just to be sure.”

You’d already felt enough like a victim and less like a hero within the past few minutes, x-rays didn’t interest you. “I think I’m fine, I trust your judgement. You seem like you know you’re way around this sort of thing.”

He searched through the supply bag and grabbed an ice pack, lifting an eyebrow, “I’ve been doing this for a few years, yes. It’s a good way to pass the time after work,” a brief smile. You felt your eyes soften as you smiled back. “Here, place this on that ankle and I’ll get everything else ready.” He angled his head toward the professor and the librarian who still stood a foot away. “Can either of you give her a ride back home?”

You hadn’t realized how red the professor had gotten in the meantime. Looks pretty flustered—huh, wonder why.

“Certainly, I’d be happy to. It’s the least I can do after leaving you here alone while I caught up on research.” His jaw tightened.

“Excellent. Now, we should probably get you out of this room after I stabilize the joint, a bit.” The medic continued to gather his supplies, and added, “Thankfully, you wearing a skirt makes what I’m about to do a bit easier.”

He angled your leg up, now parallel with the desk, and began bandaging from the middle of your foot upward, holding your calf steady.

You looked off, trying to have some kind of banter with Rolan about presentations this upcoming week; anything to keep your mind off the warm hands manipulating your leg.

“Alright, that should be good. Is there a teacher’s lounge or something nearby? She’s spent enough time here with all of the smoke filtering out.”

“Yes, down the hall to the right, near the cafe. I can take you,” offered Rolan. 

The medic nodded, then turned to you with a sheepish smile as he looked at your ankle. “Now, I don’t think ascending these stairs will help that feel better. We can either use a stairchair to bring you up to the hall or…I can carry you.”

You were about to insist that you were fine, when you slid your leg down and placed weight on it, wincing too hard to say anything. Halsin caught you by your waist as the professor reached out to you too. 

“Hey, Bo, the stairchair’s broken, remember? We were gonna get an extra one from station 34 after lunch.”

Halsin sighed, helping you rest against the desk again, “I’d forgotten. Well, that leaves you with two options, Ms…?”

“Meg. Meg Tavve.”

“Ms. Tavve. Either we get a flexible stretcher down here and we all haul you up—”

“Absolutely not.”

He chuckled, “Or, I can carry you.”

You weren’t walking any where quickly, let alone the flight of stairs. A deep sigh, “Sure, if that’s okay with you.” Dread pooled in your stomach at the thought of this gargantuan man carrying you up the auditorium and through the hall. You might never emotionally recover from this. Not from the embarrassment, but from the fact that this would be way hotter than you could process in the moment, possibly ever.

“Of course,” a warm, polite smile. Gingerly, slowly, he hooked his arms behind your back and beneath your knees and smoothly lifted you like a feather. You fixed your glasses out of an anxious habit and could swear your bounding heart rate was audible. He climbed the stairs quickly since his stride naturally took two at a time and hunched through the doorway once more, making sure not to bump your leg against the frame. You recognized most of the students who now stood outside of the classroom; many of them were from your history class, while twice as many seemed to have joined the throng for the thrill. All of their eyes were now on you, however; better yet, they were on the one who carried you. Too self-conscious to wave or say hi to the students as you were carried like a newly wed by a man in bunker gear, you averted your eyes and instead looked at his chest.

MMM, THAT’S a mistake. You heart beat faster.

You looked down at the ice pack in your hands and fiddled with the serrated edge, trying hard to ignore the moment. 

Finally, after what seemed like a decade, Halsin arrived at the lounge with Rolan and Gale alongside him. The librarian badged you all in and Halsin ducked once more through the doorframe. 

“Must be a pain in the neck to do that all the time,” you commented, trying to ameliorate your nerves with small talk.

“Ha, I’ve gotten used to it. But thank you for the concern,” he grinned down at you, toothpick jutting from side to side in his lips.

Your face somehow burned even hotter as you smiled tightly back, then resumed investigating your hands. 

“This couch is the most comfortable,” informed Gale.

“Let’s have you raise this leg on the arm of it,” the medic mused, lowering you to the cushions. You lay there, leg elevated a few inches above the other as Gale scrambled around the room to collect any pillows. Outside, you could hear the Vice Principle try to contain the crowd. you looked toward the uncovered window pane that showed the hall: faces of several undergrads with their phones out covered every available inch of the window. 

“If you’re situated, I’ll see how things are progressing with my crew, then come back.” You nodded and out he went. Unsurprisingly, half of the crowd diminished beyond the window.

Gale arrived at your side and motioned for you to lift your back slowly before sliding three pillows behind it, “How’s that, Pidge?” A nickname he’d given you after two semesters together. You had both been reading a classic where the main character, Pidge, had reminded him of you. She was stubborn yet helpful and willing to go into harms way for those she traveled with. The nickname stuck and you didn’t mind. Not a bit.

His voice had taken a sweeter, lower tone than you’d ever heard him use. “Much better, thanks. Any chance we can reschedule that coffee while we grade papers?”

A laugh that seemed like a release valve had opened came from the disheveled professor. “After all that’s happened, and that’s what you’re thinking about? I still don’t know how your priorities work.”

“Well, I was just looking forward to it, I suppose.”

His shoulders drooped and his eyes softened. A moment passed. “Of course.” Another moment passed. 

The two of you hadn’t looked away. “Yes…well, considering,” he spoke slowly, as if willing the words out, “how I do believe the exam wasn’t concluded before our impromptu little bonfire,” the two of you giggled for a second, “I think we’ll have to reschedule the…exam, as well,” a brief flicker of his eyes to your lips. “If, however, you still would like a caffeinated study session, I could show you the article I was reading? Once you’re feeling up to it.”

“I’d like that,” your eyes bounced from his left to his right, then back again. You hadn’t noticed until now that within his chocolate brown eyes were flecks of vibrant green around the pupils, probably because you’d never been this close to him before. So close, you could almost feel the warmth radiating from him as he knelt by the couch. 

“Is she alright?” A stern but concerned voice sounded behind the professor. Dean Aylin stood there, arms crossed with one foot in the doorway for a quick escape. She wanted information to be disseminated as quickly as possible so everyone would get back to normal. Probably, so she could return home to her fiancé on time.

“I’m good! Almost done getting patched up, at least according to the medic. He wanted to come back and check something, first.”

“Good. I’ll let these zealots know,” with that, she swung the door wide open and shouted for everyone to return to their classes or wherever they came from. Some of them listened while others left only to return after she’d moved on.

“Now that most of the drama has concluded, do you need me to get you anything? Besides an injury report form, I mean,” Rolan asked, stirring a tea he had just made. 

Always the logical one. Of the three of you, he’d always been the one focused on the topic at hand with very little emotional input. He was a vital part of your trio. “If you don’t have anything more important to do, I think that would be great.”

“Certainly. It would give me something besides organizing late rentals.” He headed toward the door, “Don’t set anything else aflame, alright?” He gave you a knowing smirk. “We can’t keep those fireman here all day.” Before you could add something to that, he was gone, but not before chastising the students in his way. 

“Oh my goodness, you still haven’t eaten anything, you must be starved.” Gale bounced up to his feet. “Let me get you something. Turkey sandwich? A parfait? What would you like?” He held his palms together and waited.

“Uh, I hadn’t thought of that, anything that looks good I guess. You don’t have to, you know, I think I’m fine.”

“Nonsense! You have to keep that blood sugar up,” he paced to the door. “I should know. You’ve seen me when I don’t eat for a while. I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” And with that, he left. You lay there, smelling of smoke and feeling dizzy from everything that had happened. Fuck, I left my phone in that room. You held your forehead as you looked up to the ceiling, realizing it would be just you and your thoughts until someone returned.

Minutes ticked by. You kept thinking about the fire, how it could have started, the medic, who might have started it, and how that medic had so gently wrapped your ankle. You felt your face turn beet red at the memory.

The toothpick between his lips when he smirked. His voice. What those hands would be capable of in other situations—

You threw your hands over your face in a frustrated fury, “OH MY GOD, I’m Not helping ANYTHING. FUCK.”

“What?” The same voice came from the door. 

You froze in place. 

“Are you alright? Does it feel worse?”

“I’m fine! I mean, besides the ankle, I’m fine. I was just—thinking about everything that happened and its just…a lot, haha.” You were getting pretty good at vague truths.

“Indeed. I’m sure they’ll be singing your praises within these halls for generations.” He stood, one arm leaning against the doorway. Questions and voices surged passed the crack in the door. He opened it slowly, thanked everyone for their concern, then recommended they all go about their business. Gingerly, he closed the door. Halsin looked at you, drawing the shades down over the window. “This door locks on its own, right?”

Your mouth went dry and you think your eyes fluttered. “Y-yes.”

“Good. Those students are either very nosey or quite thirsty.” He pointed to the coffee machine. “Do you mind if I—”

“No, not at all!”

“Thank you.” He slid his suspenders down off and rolled his shoulders back, stretching his neck. “We were at lunch when the call came, I had just gotten my coffee.” He stood at the counter, back toward you and reached for a mug.

“Sorry to have ruined your coffee break,” you replied, a hint of humor in the delivery.

He half-turned his face toward you, a raised eyebrow visible as he poured his coffee. Something between a sigh and a chuckle left him. He pivoted toward you, “I’ve had worse calls break the pleasure of a morning’s first sip.” His lips crested the mug as he held your gaze.

You had definitely stopped breathing. 

“What do you teach?”

“Oh, I’m a teacher’s assistant. Professor Dekarios teaches history.”

“Mm, professor Dekarios. Do you always call him that?” He angled his head at you.

“Well, no, his first name’s Gale, I’ve just gotten used to calling him that when referring to him to others,” you began to ramble, “but when it’s just us, I generally just call him Gale.”

“Mm-hmm,” a smirk. He looked down, one hand wrapped around the mug handle while the other rested in his pocket as he leaned against the counter. “Given that you seem to be good friends with the professor, is there a chance he could persuade you into getting that ankle x-rayed?”

Oh, this again. You failed to subdue your sass and gave an eye roll in response. His smile brightened.

“Is that why you’re still here?”

“Partly.” He took his hand and rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he walked toward the door. “If you’ve seriously injured yourself while saving your pupils, and I allowed you to continue as if you hadn’t, I would be doing a hero a dishonor,” he shook his head, mockingly, now leaned against the wall in front of the doorway.

“Fine,” your heckles stood up on end. “What’ll it take to get you to believe me that I’m alright?”

He reached a finger out. “Come over here.”

You blinked. Your face flushed. 

He repeated himself seeing as you didn’t respond. “Come. To me.”

It was almost degrading. “But my ankle—”

“If it hurts too much to walk this short way, supporting yourself on nearby objects and putting as little weight on it as possible, then you should let me take you. The ice should have helped a bit by now.” He crossed his free arm over his chest and took another sip. “So come.”

You grumbled a few choice phrases as you situated yourself to stand. One foot down, then the other. You expected your ankle to flare up again with excruciating pain, but instead, there was a dull throb. You frowned in surprise and began lifting yourself up carefully. Slowly, holding your weight on the backs of futons and sturdy tables in the lounge, you crossed the nearly two yards toward this unconventional medic. Weren’t they supposed to help then leave? Why is he still making this an issue?

The medic continued to drink his coffee, watching you make your way toward him, skirt rustling with each step. In another minute, you were standing by the doorway, holding yourself up against the wall, two feet away from him.

“Did you want me right in front of you, or is this good enough?” You asked with as sarcastic an air as you could muster, given how glad you were that you could, in fact, walk a little bit.

He finished the cup of coffee, eyes bright, “That’s good enough.” He placed the mug on a nearby table, “It seems you’ve proven me wrong, Ms. Tavve.” A smirk.

Your shoulders relaxed and your temper quelled. “Call me Meg.”

His eyes warmed the slightest bit, and he leaned away from the wall. His right hand reached the top angle of the door frame as he shifted his weight closer toward you. One hand on his hip, the other a foot above your head, he towered over you. “Well, you’ve proven me wrong, Meg.”

Time stopped again. You had certainly forgotten how to breath.

You thought your knees would give out right as the Professor badged the door open and almost walked straight into the medic’s bicep. Pausing with a scowl, Gale looked up at the medic, then down to you with surprise.

“You’re up and about! That was fast,” with a smile.

He stared back at the medic and cleared his throat. Halsin, slowly straightened back up, toothpick swerving between his lips again, and held you in his eyes. Gale cleared his throat as he walked passed him, headed for a nearby table. 

“I found broccoli and cheese soup, if that’s okay. I’m pretty sure it’s one of your favorite’s.”

Halsin nodded toward you, “You’ve got good taste.”

“Ha, y-yeah, sometimes.” You caught yourself and realized he meant in food, not in men. “Thank you, Gale.” You blinked and shook your head, “Maybe I do need to eat something, I’m feeling a little woozy.”

In a moment, the professor shot to your side and held your arm, “Yes, well, you’ve had a very busy day and very little time for yourself. How about we get something in your stomach and then I’ll bring you home, mm?”

You sat down and looked at the tray he’d brought you: every single one of your favorite dishes the on-campus restaurant was known for serving on a Thursday. “Oh my gods, how much do I owe you?”

He waved his hand, “Nothing. Consider it payment for that tray of cookies that one time.”

You beamed, realizing they hadn’t been forgotten. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the medic grab a paper and pen and scribble something down. You swiveled your head towards him as he came over. “In case anything should come up regarding that leg, here’s the station number,” he placed the scrap of paper in front of you. 

You looked at it. There were two phone numbers there.

“What’s the second one?”

“In case you’re interested in having a medic familiar with that leg inspect it again.”

A wink. 

“Make sure no one else sets any fires, mm?” He nodded toward Gale.

The professor stayed quiet. 

Halsin made a quick wave and headed out of the lounge. 

“Are they always that unpleasant?” Grumbled the professor, watching him leave.

You were still reeling from having two of your ideal men in the same room, both equally interested in having your attention. If only you could replay the day, one more time.

[heidi891]

ML Season 5 Finale

It’s the show’s pattern that at the end of the season Marinette makes a mistake and must face the repercussions in the next season. She forgot to change back when meeting with Master Fu and she lost her mentor, and she had to deal with new responsibilities as a guardian with hardly any experience. She mistook Félix for Adrien and she lost the Miraculouses. What mistake has she made now?

She fought alone when she said that they should fight together when she was hiding in the kitchen. But what was she supposed to do? Although I totally understand that it would be great for Adrien to fight his own father, it’s already been established that when Adrien finds out his father is the villain in dramatic circumstances, it doesn’t end well. Adrien recognising his unstable state and giving up his powers was a sign of maturity. He also had the occasion to fight his father as Chat Noir and tell him off (S5 Representation). Of course it’s not nearly as satisfying as Gabriel knowing the truth about Chat Noir, but it’s also more in line with what the show has been telling us.

She trusted Gabriel. However, eventually it turned out OK. Gabriel was forced to listen to Emilie and chose to save Nathalie who died because of his actions. This wasn’t a selfless sacrifice, but it wasn’t a totally selfish action either. In that moment it was the best possible outcome, because he was dying anyway due to his own wrong choices.

Marinette lost the Butterfly Miraculous. I’d call it an accident, not a mistake, and you can’t really learn anything from an accident as opposed to mistake; but in the pessimistic variant this is her mistake and the consequence is Lila becoming a supervillain; Gabriel is “redeemed” and Adrien will never know the truth about his father.

Marinette lied about Gabriel dying a hero. I think that is the mistake that will have the greatest impact on season 6. What’s more, this mistake is related to Adrien (she doesn’t want to hurt him), just like her previous mistakes.

We can see signs that her mistake may have bad consequences in the future:

The scene with the shining, smirking statue (resembling Chloé’s statue) and Tomoe talking about continuing Gabriel’s legacy is rather disturbing. If it were Ms Bustier giving speech and the statue were less shiny and more serious, the scene would give less villanous impression. The statue is a clear, visible symbol of the lie.

During the kissing scene we can hear a little worrisome and sad theme. If it’s a happy ending, why is the soundtrack not happier? Marinette and Adrien seem very happy, but there’s the lie between them.

Also during the kissing scene we can see white butterflies flying around. It may look hopeful, because Monarch was defeated—but we also know that Nooroo is not free. That changes the idylic picture into something more sinister. Lila’s got a lot of information from Nathalie and the computer about Gabriel, Monarch and Miraculouses. She may reveal it in a villanous way to harm Ladybug and everybody else. She may pretend to be a new hero and accuse Ladybug of cooperating with Monarch. I hope we’ll be shown what Lila really wants and what she’s up to.

Adrien

Ladybug probably won’t tell Chat Noir about Monarch’s true identity to keep the secret safe. She may also convince Plagg not to say anything. Nathalie most likely will also stay silent not to reveal herself as the villanous Mayura. I think it will be Lila who will reveal that Gabriel was the villain. That will make Adrien realise that Nathalie and Ladybug haven’t told him the truth. He may feel betrayed, angry and resentful.

I hope we’ll see more angry Adrien. For a long time he tried to be a perfect son and in the last season he started to be more aggressive as Chat Noir. Learning to express more anger and frustration as Adrien, not as Chat Noir, would be much healthier than destroying the world with his superpowers. I hope that there won’t be too much Chat Blanc / Anti-Chat, because such plots aren’t really going anywhere, they only undermine Adrien’s ability to control himself and the future of Adrienette. In the last episodes Adrien grew up and managed to recognise that he shouldn’t transform in such an unstable state, so I hope he will continue to mature and be able to deal with terrible news without destroying everything. And if they’ll keep pushing the Chat Blanc narrative, then maybe Adrien shouldn’t be Chat Noir anymore, if he’s apparently that unstable, and maybe Gabriel was right all along, controlling his son so tightly.

Nonetheless I truly hope he will destroy that terrible statue.

Reveal?

I didn’t expect the reveal and I don’t think it’ll happen in season 6. Those few times we’ve already seen it, it turned bad, but maybe it can strengthen them with Gabriel gone, if they reveal themselves out of trust instead of it being forced by external circumstances or by Ladybug trying to control the situation.

The superheroes

Frankly speaking, I was sort of happy that at the beginning of season 5 Marinette had no additional Miraculouses and Ladybug and Chat Noir were again the only superheroes in Paris. I’m afraid that with so many superheroes season 6 will be rather chaotic.

[redrikki]

Teen Wolf Rewatch - Season 2 Recap

In season 1, Scott was a trauma survivor turned reluctant hero. In season 2, has embraced the role of savior. He's out to save every supernatural person (or suspected supernatural person) from hunters, each other, and themselves. While Derek and the hunters might prefer to eliminate threats, Scott errs (if you can call it that) on the side of compassion. He was once the victim of a violent and overbearing alpha who dragged him into a war he didn't want to join and now he wants to spare Derek's betas from that. He too was once out of control and only pulled back from the brink by human connection and now he wants do something similar for Jackson. Yes, his attempts to save Jackson consistently end in failure and dead bodies, but points for effort. It is love that eventually saves him in the end, even if it wasn't Scott doing the saving.

Love and human connection being the thing that saves us is one of the key themes hammered home in this season. Conversely, it's flip side, poor communication kills, is also a big one. Jackson could have possibly been stopped/saved earlier if literally anyone had taken the time to tell Lydia what the hell was going on. She, in turn, might have ended up in a better emotional place and possibly not resurrected Peter. In season 1, every time anything happened to him, Scott would immediately tell Stiles, but this season Scott is cutting himself off. We don't get a scene of him telling his BFF about Gerard's threats and when Allison repeatedly asks Scott if something happened with Gerard, he refuses to tell. Why? To protect her? Chris said that the price of knowledge is responsibility. Well, the cost of ignorance is vulnerability. Not knowing the truth leaves Lydia vulnerable to Peter and Allison vulnerable to Gerard (and Melissa and Stiles vulnerable to Gerard in a different kind of way).

Another big theme this season is monster is as monster does (and it's flip side, hero is as hero does). Matt and Gerard decide to do monstrous things and are literally transformed into monsters as a result. Meanwhile, people like Isaac (and Erica and Boyd to a lesser extent) who chose to become "monsters," make the decision to act as heroes. Allison, who thinks of herself as a hero, embraces her worst self in the name of family even as her father decides to reject his worst self for the same reason. Stiles, who has been feeling helpless in the repeated face of failure and trauma, decides in the end to get back up and help.

I'm planning on writing a more in-depth analysis of Scott's master plan from an in-universe perspective, so right now I'm just going to focus on the mechanics of it. In season 1, the show blended coming of age/horror/mystery/romance fairly well. This season, they tried to add a bit of heist to the mix with the reveal of Scott's plan and it didn't quite work. The writers set a bunch of things up like Gerard's pill-popping, people (Erica) wanting the Bite for health reasons, Bite rejection kills, mountain ash does stuff to supernaturals, cancer has a smell, pill swap, etc., but the pacing was off. Cancer having a smell should have been introduced way sooner and it should have been Scott noticing, not Isaac. We should have had a clearer understanding of what mountain ash is capable of and maybe a few conversations hinting that there was a plan (even if we didn't get the details) so it felt a little less out of left field. Even something just as simple was Scott telling Stiles about Gerard's threats and Stiles asking what he was going to do with Scott making a thinking face would have been enough.

Trust, or the lack there of, is a big theme this season. I guess we viewers were supposed to trust that Scott had it handled, even without hints that he had something even vaguely resembling a plan. Certainly everyone in universe was supposed to trust that Scott did. Yeah, he's keeping secrets from his friends and "allies," but he's doing what he believes is right! Allison's main sin isn't that she went off the rails with grief, it's that she decided to place her faith in her family to stop Jackson after Scott consistently failed to do so and didn't share some pretty important information. Personally, I think Allison was right to break up with Scott. Not only does she need to space to get her head on straight, it's clear neither of them really trusted the other enough for things to work.

Anyway, season 2 was pretty rough on Scott. He lost all the modest gains he'd gotten in season 1 like first line, popularity, and a girlfriend. He also lost the fairly wholesome relationship he'd once had with his mother. The timeline is a little confusing, but she seems to be avoiding him for several days after what happens at the sheriff's station. Yeah, she comes back around and works to help him, but that has to be heartbreaking to realize your mother's love is conditional so soon after your father bailed too. At least he still has Stiles, even if they are starting to drift apart.

[docholligay]

The House in Fata Morgana: Door Six--The Maid's Tale

I have never reviewed a visual novel before, but iscahwynn made me a very generous offer and a long line of patience, knowing that we are trying something very new. To that end: Please don’t spoil me for the game at all! If you are reading this, I have only gotten through the part written above, and I don’t want to be corrected, even if I’m wrong, even if I’ve missed something, i don’t want to have anything confirmed or denied, and I don’t need any trigger warnings or extraneous explanation. Iscah would like my pure, naive experience of the game. Thank you!

Okay so this was not God’s most thrilling episode in Fata Morgana, admittedly. That’s not to say it was bad, but it’s a lot of ground that we already have been over, and it leads to an idea that we’ve been introduced to within the story before, with a few extra details, some of which are neat, but regrettably none of which seem to do enough to deepen the character of Giselle that I can fully adore the chapter, and the end of which is definitely prolonged in a way that doesn’t keep me engaged. 

Spoilers below:

Genuinely the most interesting idea that comes up in this is something we’ve thought about mildly before, but really haven’t delved into deeply, and that is: At what point along the line do you stop being yourself? The whole point of this chapter is to watch Giselle lose herself, bit by bit, on the backdrop of stories we know. And i LOVE that. I love watching Giselle try to protect herself, but in trying to protect herself, she is chipping away at herself, bit by bit. It’s like, you know how freezing preserves things? But, if you leave it frozen for long enough, it gets freezerburnt, until eventually, whatever you saved, is inedible. Is nothing. Bears no resemblance to what it was. What is the moment for that? 

This is a thing that I love thinking about. I love the idea that you can’t trust yourself, and how easily we can be convinced that our memories are different. How we are all the unreliable narrators of our own lives. You tell yourself a story enough times, and the details get tweaked just enough, each time, slipping further and further away until the cliff of the reality falls away into the sea. What does truth even mean, if the story that now stands has meaning to us? I love this idea that so much of Michel is no longer a memory but a STORY, and in being a story, it can change as it needs to, which is what leads us to the white haired girl. 

I am still not certain that Michel ISN’T Michelle, somehow. I don’t know why i persist in this even though the story keeps telling me no, and I’ll be honest, I don’t even want to deal with whatever strange gender handling they would have around it, but it feels like too much of a coincidence to me that there’s two weirdass put-upon albinos running around this mansion. Also, could that be what she’s talking about when she says, ‘You havent’ figured it out yet?” because I BELIEVE I HAVE. UNLESS. Unless. What if Michelle is a construction created by the witch, in order to fool Giselle and drop her down into despair? That’s something I could not only live with, but seems to fit the general super-evil we have going for Morgana, and I think I would like it as a narrative bit. 

Speaking of being two people and being one person, I actually sort of love the idea of Giselle also being the witch, even though I know we’re not going to have that be any kind of reality within the story. The idea that to protect herself, she could have split like that, that the witch fell in love with the boy who revived her (Very interesting also, that. So Michel did make a deal with the devil, that wasn’t just part of the mythos.) and when he rejected her or whatever I can imagine might have happened, she constructed this whole beautiful story, and then it wasn’t beautiful enough still, and so she created yet another layer of story on top of it. The fucking palimpsest of our own personal histories. Incredible, love it. I don’t think it’s something the story is doing, but I love the idea. 

I love how I was like ‘This wasn’t a super exciting episode” but I’ve spent like 500 words talking about this one aspect. I’m not lying though! It’s just that this one idea is SO good that it barely matters that the rest sort of drags. 

We give Morgana a lot of shit within the story for manipulating Giselle or whatever, and I’m not saying she’s great, and in fact I admit that she is a mustache-twirling villain, and I love that for her. But. Morgana could have been very straightforwardly, ‘babygirl I am going to emotionally tear you down over hundreds of years, but I promise you, you will find him, reconstructed to be your Michel. If. If. You can keep yourself long enough to find him.” and she would not even for one second let Morgana fucking FINISH before she said, “Yes. That’s great. I’ll do it.” 

It is funny to me though, when Hayden shows up and she’s like, “Oh, i learned a few words of English in 1099, THAT’LL BE ENOUGH TO CONVERSE.” Okay, you have to be fucking shitting me, I have no idea why they didn’t just do the, ‘The house translates what I say into English or Spanish (We never bring it up in Spain) or whatever” It’s such a bizarre thing to specifically call out, and I think it’s actually more clunky than not having it be brought up at all. I did very much love the line, “Blood is nothing but an obstacle to ambition.” I thought that was great. 

Okay, if I don’t talk about it now, i’m not going to: I LOVED the part where she asks if he thinks she can even come close to being the same person, if she might not hate him after having waited all this time, after his sacrifice also made a sacrifice of her. What does it mean to love her, now that she is irrevocably changed? He is Michel, reconstructed. But she is not Giselle, reconstructed. She is Giselle, who has been forced to go on. She has nearly a thousand years behind her, of watching and waiting and loving and hating. She is Giselle and she is the Maid and she is the Witch and she has wanted the best of beasts and men and white haired girls. I loved that! If course, she backtracks it so so fast, and that frustrates me because that could be so much more interesting than just literally finding her again in the darkness and, I don’t know, hitting Morgana with a chair. If he had to own up to being willing to love her while she hates him. 

Love this line: “Some times I think love and fanaticism are the same thing.” I totally fucking disagree but I love the line, and I love the bitterness that comes out of the line. 

“The Story behind the Story” is such an odd way to open the next door, and puts me in mind of something like a behind the scenes writing documentary mid-VN, which would be fucking hilarious and amazing.

[jomiddlemarch]

what it is to be a thin, crescent moon

Chapter 30

“Plausible deniability? Plausible deniability, Alina?” Aleksander said, his voice tight and the utter absence of any nickname or endearment was not lost upon her but she knew enough not begin with anything resembling an apology.

“Yes, those are the two words I just said, Sasha,” she replied, a little exasperated in spite of her resolve to remain calm. He’d been going on and on for the past half hour, hardly taking a breath. “I’m not sure if you are more offended by the former or the latter. You’ve made it clear you are offended. I believe they could tell that in Weddle. Perhaps on the Moon.”

“I am not offended, I am aghast,” he said. He was paler than he ought to be and she worried over it. It might have nothing to do with what had happened between them, he might have made do with a roll and a glass of tea instead of a proper dinner; he often did if they did not sit down for the evening meal together. He might have visited with his mother, which always left him drained. But it might be a consequence, unanticipated, of what had happened in the night or simply his anger. “You had no right—”

“It wasn’t as if I forced a bloody collar on you!” Alina retorted. “Nothing could happen unless you allowed it to, we made sure of that, before I agreed to try.”

“I’m angry you risked yourself, umnaya. You risked your life,” he said, breaking off, turning his face away from her.

“Not my life,” she said. “I told you, I explained.”

“I stand corrected. You didn’t risk your life, only your mind,” he said. “If you had been hurt, your mind damaged, I cannot, how could I—”

“But I’m fine. Perfectly fine. We can’t get bogged down in hypothetical scenarios that never happened and won’t ever happen,” Alina said, reaching out a hand to lay on his. He was trembling and she felt sick, the way she had felt all the time before they’d met and he’d revealed who she was. They were both quiet for a moment, turning their palms towards each other, the gesture a small communion, her Light and his Shadow matched as gloves.

“This entire situation was a hypothetical you allowed yourself to be immersed in,” he said. He sounded steadier, less incensed, with a hint of resignation like the bass note of a perfume. “I’d blame Togtuun except I know you won’t allow that, will see it as me making you a pawn when you are a queen.”

“Togtuun wouldn’t allow it either, though they’d probably only let you rant for a bit and then explain,” Alina said. “When we’re done with this, maybe you can tell me more about Togtuun and just exactly how they came to be here. What the deal is between the two of you, because I don’t get it.”

“When we’re done with this?”

“I didn’t say it would take five minutes,” Alina replied. He smiled then and pulled her close to him, bending his head to drop a kiss at her crown, holding her tucked against him with a warmth more sustaining than the flare of passion, desire distant for both of them, though it would only be a moment’s work to make their embrace one of striving possession.

“I understand why you did what you did,” he murmured. “I would have said no, categorically, if you’d asked and I have done as you did. It has been a long time since I was the one who was not the leader, I am not yet adept at trusting, though I trust you more than anyone. I have not been able to question fundamental truths, or what I took them to be, for so long. Perhaps too long, but the world has gone on and I was alone—I had to accept certain things as right, or I would have doomed all the Grisha.”

“So you forgive me?” she said.

“No, of course not,” he said. “Because you don’t need to be forgiven. Because I am not the one to grant anyone forgiveness. Because, as you say, you were successful.”

“I hoped I would be. I thought I could be, we thought so,” she said.

“The question is how—to what degree, to what extent and to what unexpected consequence?” he said. “I’ve learned that and Togtuun knows it as well, that when you succeed, there are always complications. They aren’t always bad, but you have to deal with them. David probably understands better than anyone else, as he’s the most inventive Durast in seven generations. You might speak with him later.”

“Later?” she said.

“You cannot think I will let you go now,” he replied softly, his lips now at her temple, her cheek, his hands stroking along her ribs and down to her hips. “You and I, we must explore what you have done. We must make a new map of the world, my cartographer.”

“I’m not sure this is the most effective method, Sasha,” she said.

“I’m not either, but I can’t think of any other way,” he said.

“Can’t you?” she asked. “Have you tried? Before, there was the purl between us, but now…have you tried to see if there is anything more? I have an idea, but it’s really only a hypothesis and those need to be tested.”

“Plausible deniability?” Genya’s face was the picture of disbelief, utterly untailored, and quite like a dash of cold water. “And he accepted it? You truly said that to him, Alina? To General Kirigan?”

“Accepted is maybe not the word I would choose, but yes, it’s what I said to him. It’s not a lie,” Alina said. “I wasn’t trying to purposely deceive him.”

“I’m not sure what it is—it’s not an explanation and it’s a piss-poor excuse, if you’ll pardon me,” Genya said. “Speaking as someone with experience in spying.”

“This wasn’t espionage, Genya,” Alina said.

“No, it wasn’t. Because that assumes opposition and General Kirigan is yours in every way a person can be,” Genya said.

“You’re talking about this like I betrayed him. It’s not like I told him I was going to, I don’t know, use an amplifier to take control of his Summoning. It was an offer, one he was able to refuse,” Alina said. She nudged the tray of pastries towards Genya, an illustration amply rewards when Genya shook her head to decline; Alina picked up the cake closest to herself, a golden seedcake topped with currants and took a bite.

“I suppose that’s true if you accept that the sleeping mind and the waking mind are the same self,” Genya said reflectively. “Did you and the Librarian come to terms with that? Because it seems like you had a lot of ground to cover, what with the creation of an entirely novel endeavor to reconceptualize merzost so that it could become a tool used to liberate the Grisha that you could get functioning before breakfast the next morning, when General Kirigan’s absence would be noted and cause a lot of consternation at the very least.”

“We didn’t really talk about that,” Alina admitted. “I didn’t, anyway. The Librarian has abilities that are hard to grasp, they seem to have some skill in manipulating thought and dreams the way other Grisha handle matter or energy.”

“Doesn’t that give you pause?”

“Perhaps not as much as it should, but the Librarian was here for a long time before I arrived and they could only have been invited by Aleksander, kept here by Aleksander. If they posed such a terrible risk, he would have known. If I trust him in the most important ways, and I do, I think I have to trust him to have decided the Librarian is our ally, even if we aren’t always clear how what they are doing furthers our cause,” Alina said. “And, in the most basic terms, we’re all still alive and kicking today and Aleksander had plenty of energy available to take me to task for risking myself, so as far as we know, no harm done.”

“I wouldn’t think that would be enough for you,” Genya said.

“You weren’t with us in the woods. No one was,” Alina said. “Nor when the Fjerdans tried to murder me. I’ve felt what it’s like when Aleksander is consumed by anger and fear, how much it takes to keep him from losing himself. I know what it feels like to steady each other, I can feel when something between us is good, whole. When the possibilities are like flowers about to bloom, not adders ready to strike. That’s how it felt, that’s how it feels now.”

Genya reached over and picked up a tiny cake topped with a dollop of whipped cream and a trio of tart red berries and popped the entire thing into her mouth. She licked away the cream that she got on her fingers, and smiled at Alina.

“That’s all right then. Though you make me feel I should never doze off in the Library ever again.”

“I haven’t heard anyone ever complain about having a nightmare when they do,” Alina said. “It might be the safest place in all Ravka to fall asleep if you’re scared of a bad dream.”

“I’ve never had a dream worse than being awake,” Genya said. “It never occurred to me that the Librarian might have had a hand in that. But if that’s why, I can see why General Kirigan would do nearly anything to keep them here.”

“Plausible deniability,” Ivan said, his arms crossed, his gaze steady, his usual expression as if they were talking about something ordinary. “He did not like it but you made him listen.”

“Yes,” Alina said. She’d given herself even odds that this would be Ivan’s response, a practical assessment of the choice and the outcome, much as she might describe a shatranj gambit to one of the younglings with an aptitude or interest in the game. She’d been braced for outrage, the cold, suffocating kind that Aleksander seemed incapable of, a brutal dismissal that had no flourishes of the kefta or curled lip, but it seemed she’d come out on the better side of the split.

“The Librarian knows you well,” he said. “To make a suggestion to you that you would take, one you would see as a reasonable risk.”

“You don’t worry about the Librarian, do you?” Alina said.

“No. They have had ample opportunity to overthrow the General. They are an ally, though there have been times I’ve wondered if they held back when we could have used support,” Ivan said. “But it seems they have acted when they judged fit, and I can’t hold that against them when I’ve done the same.”

“I must say, this is a refreshing reaction,” Alina replied. “Not that I don’t love philosophical discussions about the nature of the self, mind-body duality, the inherent corruption of power, and so on. But it’s nice to come at things from a different angle. Though, you’re not just saying what you’re saying because you promised to make up for trying to kill me, are you?”

“No. I am willing to sacrifice my life for yours, not my scruples,” Ivan said. “However few or small you think mine are.”

“I don’t think you don’t have any,” Alina aid quickly.

“What a relief,” he replied and then shocked her with a short, barking laugh. Alina wouldn’t have thought he had an infectious laugh, but she found herself chuckling, a little giddy, the way she felt after drinking medovudkha.

“It wasn’t so bad, plausible deniability or not, right?” she said. “We had to try, to see if what I discovered about merzost was true and there was only one way to do it.”

“Was there only one?” Ivan asked. He was the only one who’d thought to ask her that, which was probably the reason she’d sought him out to talk about what she’d done, no matter what she told anyone else about security concerns.

“I think so. I couldn’t afford to spend hours and days trying to figure out if there was another way when I had one that looked extremely likely to work. It’s not like there’s time to waste with Nikolai plotting away and the intel from Matthias about the Fjerdans isn’t reassuring,” she said.

“You don’t call him Prince Nikolai,” Ivan observed.

“He doesn’t deserve it,” Alina answered. “And he’s just a man, an otkazat’sya.”

“You’ve come far from that orphanage at Keramzin,” Ivan said, the approval apparent in his voice. Or, at least, it was apparent to Alina now that she had learned to distinguish the tiny increments of difference in tone that were easily overlooked. She shrugged and he made a low sound in his throat that was almost like a smile. She wished she could tell Aleksander about this, how delighted she’d made Ivan, Ivan of all people, by her behavior and her explanations, but Aleksander wouldn’t see the humor in it and the satisfaction, not now, not when they had so recently found each other in the other world within the night and he was still grappling with being fundamentally wrong about merzost in a way that had cost lives.

“It seems like forever ago and then someone says something, some Os Altan proverb I’ve never heard before, or talks about some cultural reference I have no idea about, and it’s like I just got onto the First Army wagonette and I’m wishing I’d been willing to be the nurserymaid instead of signing up as a mapmaker,” Alina said.

“You, the nurserymaid?” Ivan said. “At an orphanage?”

“You think I couldn’t have done it?” She didn’t think she could have done it, not really, which was why she’d joined the First Army, besides her ill-advised juvenile yearning for Mal, but for Ivan to cast aspersions…

“I think it would have been a colossal waste. Unless you meant to train a team to compete in the national shatranj tournament,” he said.

“That would have been a funny way to end up in Os Alta,” Alina said.

“Stranger things have happened,” Ivan replied. “Some of the youngling have tales to tell that you wouldn’t believe if you read them in the Princess and the Barbarian. For the Grisha, the unexpected is as regular as an egg.”

“See, that’s what I mean. ‘Regular as an egg,’” Alina grinned. “No one says that where I’m from. I think I ate one egg a year, if I got lucky.”

“And does it make you wish to mind a nursery full of snotty-nosed orphans?” Ivan asked. “Or do you want an omelet? I believe that is one of the General’s specialties.”

“Ivan, has anyone noticed how funny you are?” Alina laughed. “Besides Fedyor?”

“No. It is a secret weapon I keep in reserve,” he said, completely deadpan.

“Perhaps you can quip Nikolai into exile,” she said.

“Exile is insufficient—he’s been eliminated,” Ivan said. Alina gaped at him, aware her mouth was hanging open. She must have misheard him, began to say as much when Ivan spoke again. “I did not have to resort to humor.”

“What? I don’t—Ivan, what happened, what do you mean?”

“If you truly wish for me to tell you, I will. But I warn you, you will not like it, what I say, what I have done, and I would spare you that. You will have enough burdens to bear,” Ivan said.

“Does Aleksander know?” she said.

“He is my General, I do nothing without his knowledge,” Ivan said.

“And nothing that is not at his command?” she said and then something odd happened. Ivan’s face changed, the expression in his eyes one she couldn’t name, a muscle working in his jaw, his lips suddenly mobile. If he looked in a mirror, he might not recognize himself; she hardly did.

“He has been clear about his goals, his principles. What may be sacrificed, what costs may be borne and by whom,” Ivan said. “I am as his right hand, he need not instruct me to strike for it to be done, as he need not speak to his palm to wield a sword.”

“He uses the Cut,” Alina said. “He used it to save my life. It nearly killed him.”

“Just so, Alina,” Ivan said. It was the first time he had ever used her first name. “He knows what he needs. Will you trust that and trust that I am telling you what you need to know?”

“You’re not my right hand,” she said.

“No, I am sworn to you. Did you not have such relationships in the First Army? Were there not comrades you would have acted to save, if you could, not that boy from your orphanage, but your fellows, your seniors?” he said. She closed her eyes and saw Alexei’s face again, intent as he drew the course of a river on a map, the line of his neck when he lay broken after the crossing.

“Yes,” she said. “You’re sure, Nikolai can’t return, can’t be a martyr some faction rallies around, setting up a satellite court in Kerch, rallying a militia.”

“All those would have been better plans than the one he devised. I’m sure he will not pose a future problem, as sure as you are when you summon Light,” he said.

“All right,” Alina said, then shrugged. “I guess we won’t have to see whether merzost would have taken care of him.”

“He left a lot of documents. Sloppy,” Ivan offered. “We were going to burn most of them, but you’re welcome to try merzost instead. Fire will always be a back-up option.”

“Plausible deniability?” Nina laughed, a bold, raucous sound that made Alina question how effective Nina could be as a spy, but she couldn’t help chuckling along. Nina pushed over the plate of waffles she’d been working her way through.

“I don’t—” Alina said.

“You deserve them. If you knew me better, you would know what a big deal this kind of gesture is for me, but you’ve given me something better than fresh waffles with plum compote,” Nina said.

“What’s that?”

“A real laugh. And the sense that we might actually make it through all of this and come out the other side better off than we were before,” Nina said. “For that, you should get waffles. Not all the waffles, but some and these are an especially good batch.”