drive ╏ roll-a-trope fic challenge
Joel Miller x F!Reader
summary: An early birthday celebration trip for Joel arrives & you’re excited to tag along… there’s just something you’ve been meaning to tell him about
prompt: #2 - road trip
warnings/tags: no explicit warnings but all my writing is 18+ only so MDNI, no use of y/n, pre-outbreak canon, established relationship, brief pov switch, light gendered language usage, Sarah Miller being the best, thoughts of marriage & children, hidden/surprise pregnancy, fluff & then ending angst (I’m sorry)
word count: 2k
a/n: thank you so much to @burntheedges for putting on this challenge for us, I’m so grateful to be a part of this thanks again Kate! Divider by the amazing @saradika-graphics (thank you & ily) & to you, if you’re reading this - thank you so much ♡
The drive from Austin to Corpus Christi was not one Joel took often, but this time it’s special.
This is first road trip with his girls, you and Sarah. It’s an early birthday week celebration for him. And honestly? He could just be on the road, driving around all day with no destination, and he wouldn’t mind a damn minute.
You by his side, Sarah in the back singing along to the radio - he never thought he’d ever find this slice of heaven before him.
He knew how nervous you were about the trip, knowing this would be another big step in the relationship. But with how effortlessly natural it was seeing you wake up in his bed, help pack the truck, even make breakfast for Sarah… a settling sensation filled his chest like you were always meant to be here, like realizing you were a finishing stitch into Joel’s life.
It’s a perfect early birthday treat he wants to savor forever.
With the windows rolled down, the traces of the morning sunlight illuminating the air, the beat of the radio, and you laughing at something Sarah said, Joel Miller is beyond content. The scenery from the Austin city limits blurs into soft hills that turn into stunning stretches of green. Then the towering palm trees arrive.
The few benefits of the Texas heat is still getting beach days in mid September.
The shimmer of the ocean already in sight perks Sarah up, and Joel beams.
“Dad, we have to go to those beach shops first please.” She urges, then eagerly explains to you the lure of the way too ridiculous tourist trap spots.
“Some even have these huge fake sharks in front you can take pictures with.” Sarah paints the image with brilliant excitement.
You’re glancing back at Sarah, hanging on her every word with graced patience, and Joel thinks his heart might melt out of his ribs.
He’s found something special here with you. He almost feels selfish at how badly he wants to hold onto it tight, never let you go.
As promised, before heading to the shoreline, Joel stops by a tourist shop that has a very large plastic shark wide with its teeth open before the door.
You laugh, twinkling and brilliant seeing it.
“See I told ya!” Sarah laughs happily.
“Oh we gotta take all the pictures with it.” You eagerly suggest and Joel wonders…
If maybe inside he grabs one of those ridiculous sea shell rings and propose to you right here and now.
-
The shop stands coated in a unique type of plastic over coated painted wonder. There’s a painted mural of seagulls flying over a bright pink sky on the wall. Another wall is coated top to bottom in various t-shirts that make you and Sarah giggle. So many wind chimes made of seashells hang from above.
You can’t believe your eyes trying to soak it all in.
“They even have hermit crabs here?” You’re a bit surprised at the rows of take home creatures that crawl around in their containers.
“Yes, ugh I’ve been trying to convince dad to let me get one for years.” Sarah sighs slightly pouting. “But he isn’t a fan.”
“Say it’s his birthday present.” You joke, and Sarah snickers.
You adore Joel’s daughter. Sarah is bright, incredibly clever and sweet, a pure wonder you’re grateful has allowed you into her and her dad’s life.
She even has been secretly telling you what she might be getting Joel for his birthday.
“I think I’m gonna just end up fixing his watch for him. I know he won’t ever do it himself.” She’s a considerate and deeply caring soul. Something she takes after her dad beautifully.
“Well if you need me to cover for you or take you, I can help.” You offer.
Sarah turns to you wearing the kindest smile and thanks you for the offer.
“But I think I got a plan. If it doesn’t work out though, trust me you’re my first alibi.” She nods firm.
“I’m honored, just don’t have me breaking you out of jail just yet.” You grin, and she playfully nudges you.
It’s affectionate. You learned fast the Millers love to tease, love showing their affection with quick wit and deep bonding. You’re grateful to be a part of that now.
Sarah eventually wanders back to Joel. You wonder if she’s really going to try and persuade him to get a hermit crab.
Wandering on your own now, you stumble across more clothing.
Specifically, you find yourself gravitated to the baby clothes section.
The small little onesies with dolphins on them, and the few cute shirts that say my first beach trip, all tug at your heart.
It takes everything in you not to grab one.
But you don’t want to spoil your birthday gift to Joel, not yet. You just found out earlier this week after all.
You just had to wait a little longer. You hope it will be worth it.
Before Joel or Sarah can spot you, you try finding one of the Millers first. Sarah of course chats with one of the cashiers at the hermit crab counter, and you snicker walking towards Joel. He stands surveying the kitschy fish wall decorations.
“I think we’re going to be going home with an extra little crawling critter. Sarah’s persistent.” You smirk.
Joel rolls his eyes.
“She can try all she want, but we ain’t taking a damn crab home.” He drawls out with a classical grumpy Joel pout. “Unless it’s fried.”
You snicker moving to lean against his side while an indescribable affection, a cotton candy delicate sweetness, blooms in you and you haven’t even gotten to the beach yet.
Joel must sense it too. His arms immediately draw you into him more, and he kisses the top of your head.
“Glad we took this road trip.” He mutters soft.
“Me too.” You agree rubbing his back.
“Sarah said we should make it yearly thing.” He adds.
“We should. Good way to celebrate your birthday early.” You fondly say.
He huffs. “Don’t want any crazy celebration I told ya. Just my girls, Tommy, and maybe a cake, that’s all I need.”
“Nothing crazy huh?” You tease soft.
“Baby, haven’t had a crazy birthday since I was twenty and ain’t wanted one since.” He snorts.
Now slight fear tugs at you. Maybe you should tell him your surprise now, or sooner than expected.
“Hey,” Joel’s soft warm hand moves to your face letting his thumb softly rub your jaw. “Y’okay, darlin’?”
You swallow hard, but nod with a smile.
“Yup just ready to get to the beach.” You half lie.
“Me too,” then he leans down closer to your ear. “Can’t wait to see how fuckin’ sexy you’ll be in that swim suit of yours-”
“Joel Miller.” You cry playfully aghast and swat his chest.
Joel rolls his eyes, yet a smile tugs at his lips.
Soon enough Sarah calls out for her dad causing you and him to slowly pull away.
The beach is calling too after all.
-
The rain patters a soft steady melody against the truck. You’re thankful everyone got in a few good hours in the waves, soaking in the nice weather, before the rain drops began. A downfall to Texas weather is its unpredictability.
Sarah sleeps soundly in the back tired out from enjoying the beach.
Sitting in the passengers detached in the cozy warmth of the truck, you even catch your eyes dropping shut every now and then.
“Get some rest, sweetheart. We still got a few hours on the road.” Joel, ever considerate, softly says over the radio.
You decide to maybe just rest for a little bit, settling into the seat more.
“Sorry we didn’t get to spend a full day at the beach.” You mutter, closing your eyes.
“Don’t be sorry, honey,” Joel reassures warm. His hand slides over to squeeze your knee closest to him across the counsel.
“Today was great.” His voice is thick, earnest in the buried emotions waiting for you to sink into. Now opening your eyes again, you glance over to Joel.
The soft stormy lighting coats him dreamy and cozy. His hair is even still fluffed up from the sand and sea, the picture perfect dreamy vacation man or possibly a mythical sea god you’ve luckily caught onto land. He’s incredibly handsome, your Joel.
“Thanks for coming.” He adds above a soft whisper.
“Thanks for letting me tag along.” You reply back just as soft, delicate.
“Of course,” his eyes flicker to you briefly. “Here’s hopin’ to many more trips together.”
Your heart swells, and you wonder if you might just get swept into the current of Joel Miller forever.
“Here’s to more trips together.” You repeat, solidifying his words into your soul.
You hope he’ll be happy with the news you have. You’re still hesitant about it, but right now, simple tender peace envelopes you right now in this moment.
“Love you, Miller. Happy early birthday.” You say half asleep as the exhaustion creeps in.
“Thanks baby, love y’too.” His voice floats in with the rain drops, and it's beautiful.
Your eyes glance out at the misty road blurring before you and how the rain paints the world in a water color soaked dream. Closing your eyes, you decide to get some sleep on this drive.
Maybe you will tell him about your surprise when you get home.
Then Joel’s phone buzzes.
From what you catch, it’s Tommy. Must be something about work because Joel’s voice low takes on his contractor big brother boss tone.
“Yeah, I’ll check it out when I get home.” He sighs annoyed, tired.
Joel’s been so busy this month. You even know how much it took for him to take time for this trip.
A heaviness weighs you down, and a slight edge of guilt follows. Maybe you’ll wait to tell him on his actual birthday. Surprise him with the little longhorn onesie you bought ready to show him and of course Sarah.
In the truck, you simply slip into the cocoon of crystalized peace here. You already dream of another beach trip, the next time maybe with a baby car seat in the back and Sarah happily cooing over her sibling…
And your hand holding Joel’s staring out at the road ahead, hopeful for this new path with him.
-
Sarah’s morning knock jolts you and Joel up wearily out of bed.
“Didn’t know we slept in so late.” Joel mutters, dragging you closer into his sleepy hold.
“Mhm, early birthday sex would do that to ya.” You reply with a grin.
Today’s the day.
“Happy birthday baby.” You whisper adoringly, pressing your lips to his, basking in this moment with him.
“Thanks sweetheart.” His warm sleepy voice drips molten sin, and it’s hard fighting the urge to call into work today and begging Joel to do the same.
The morning is eased, perfectly Joel. Sarah even cooks eggs for everyone and soon enough Tommy joins.
A part of you wants to blurt out your announcement now with all the Millers here, but then contract work again takes over the focus of the conversation. Then the weird news announcement about Jakarta shifted the conversation. But you try not to worry about it.
Today would be a good day.
It’s Joel’s day after all.
As Joel talks to his neighbors, Sarah makes an excuse about forgetting something then drags you off to the side.
“Dad’s gonna forget a cake, I just know it.” She sighs knowingly.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pick one up.” You reassure her warm.
She beams warm then hugs you tight.
Normally Joel drives you to work, but now with the mission of picking up the cake, you use the excuse of needing to stay late as to why you take your car.
Joel pouts but gives you a sweet see you later kiss.
Tommy almost seems to know something is up cause he winks knowingly at you.
It’s a soft morning, a rare beautiful day already with Austin traffic being somewhat manageable.
You happily reassure yourself you’ll tell Joel about the baby when you get home from work. You hope to
surprise him with a cake and then the little extra sweet announcement with it.
Still sitting in Austin traffic, the radio again discusses the news of Jakarta now going on lockdown. The somber tone sends a chill up your spine. You simply change the radio to another station.
You let your mind return to that possible dream of the road trips to come, and of the little onesie sitting in your work bag waiting.
Today is going to be a good day. You just know it.
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Family Tree (Chapter 2)
Adding on to the next story I want to work on :)
Simon x Y/n <3
Taskforce 141 had just gotten back from their usual mission in Al Mazrah. The guys were exhausted but satisfied with the outcome of successfully taking down another terrorist that had stormed the area. Kate Laswell had just finished debriefing the team on everything when Kyle "Gaz" Garrick asked if they wanted to grab drinks with him and his girlfriend. She was getting off work soon and was very much excited that he was back safe - a slight celebration, what she called it. John "Soap" MacTavish immediately agreed because he wasn't about to turn down an offer for a good Scotch. And while John Price would have just gone home and had a cigar before heading to bed, he decided to go as well.
All that was left was Simon "Ghost" Riley. The mysterious man who liked to be alone... most of the time. But he'd never turn down a chance to get a bourbon. It took a bit of convincing from Soap - Johnny as he usually called him - to get him to tag along, but he finally gave in. A short huff - that was muffled by his balaclava - falling from his mouth as he shook his head at the sergeant's antics.
Their usual spot was a pub that was on the other side of town. The locals usually cramped the space, but sometimes, a few soldiers from the base would make the drive to grab a drink and some food. Every once in a while, the owner - an older man who was probably in his 70s, would conversate with the team, having been in the SAS many years ago himself. He'd tell stories about his time in war and service, often making people smile or laugh with his jokes that went along with them. It also wouldn't be as busy as it was with the other pubs that were closer to the base or in the center of town; it was also close enough to each of their homes as well.
"Baby!" a woman's voice somewhat shouted throughout the bar as Ella pranced in the place and hugged Kyle tightly as soon as she greeted him. She was usually a calm person, but whenever she hadn't heard from her boyfriend in over two weeks, she'd always worry. But there he was with his boys, alive and well; tired but well.
As they settled into their seats and their drink of choice was brought to them, a weight felt like it was lifted off of their soldiers. They were finally able to relax after spending two weeks fighting, shooting, and sleeping on the fucking ground.
"How's work, Ella?" Price asked after taking a sip.
"It's good. Have a new girl that started two weeks ago. She's nice.. quiet, but nice," she giggled.
"So, like L.T., huh?" Johnny teased, making the others laugh. Even somewhat of a chuckle escaped Simon's lips, although it was muffled by the balaclava.
Everyone knew that Ghost was a quiet man; an intimidating man. If anyone ever got a chance to even be in his presence for more than a minute, they'd say he was a grumpy ass human being, rarely talked, always gave an answer with a hum or a curt nod, and probably was a real ghost since no one had really ever seen his face before. But those who knew Simon well (which was really just 141) would say he was someone who had gone through a lot of shit in his past, he had a good heart and supported his team, and he had incredibly dark humor. Sometimes, making them indulge in one of his awful dad jokes.
So it was truly was funny that Johnny made the joke about Ella's coworker being like him; quiet. He even knew that he really was.
"She just moved here from America cause of family. I tried to get her to come have a drink, but she said she had something to do," Ella said, "Maybe next time you guys can meet her."
They all hummed and continued sipping on their drinks, letting the thoughts of the mission slip further and further away from their minds until they had to think about it at a later time. Ella talked about a few things about work, which was always good for them to listen... at least they didn't have to talk about their own work.
**************************************************************************
When Simon made it home, the first thing he did was unpack his duffle bag with his gear in it. From the hard-shell skull mask he wore to his toothbrush, everything was put back in its place before he stripped out of his clothes and turned the water on in the shower. While it needed time to at least get warm, he glanced at his body in the bathroom mirror. The dark purple bruises that covered his left shoulder and the side of his abs made his pale skin look odd. Well, it was definitely odd to anyone else, but for him, he was used to coming back home with cuts and bruises all the time. No bullet at least, he thought, remembering the last time he came home with bandages on the same shoulder from when he caught a stray bullet on the last mission. Being what he was - who he was - came at the cost of injuries and pain. He was lucky that death hadn't caught up to him since the last time he thought he was going to die years ago. But it was the life he chose.
No. It was the life that chose him.
Sighing, he stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water from the shower to encase all over his head, face, and body. It was... peaceful in a way. The only time he ever got to really think about anything in his life was the time he would take a shower after coming back from a mission. Each second he washed the grime and dirt off of his body with the wood-scented soap, he thought about his past. He thought about his family - or the lack thereof. Family. A touchy subject that he tended to stay away from. Hardly anyone knew about what happened to them; their deaths. And he kept it that way. It wasn't because of doing what he did after he found their bodies... it was just something that he had no desire to even bring up... with anyone.
After his shower, he could have gone to bed, but sleep was never easy for the man. Once he dried off and put on some sweatpants to cover his lower half, he walked outside on his patio and sat in the chair. He tossed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on the small table that he brought out with him before leaning back in the chair and gazing up at the sky. It was a clear, cool, and breezy night. He should have put on a jacket, but for some reason, the temperature didn't faze him. If he squinted just right enough, he thought he could see the stars that shone through the streetlights in the town. It was peaceful, silent, and lonely. But he didn't complain. He liked being alone. There were times when he couldn't understand how Kyle and Ella had been together for as long as they had. Through the tough missions and long deployments, he thought she would have left him a long time ago. But it wasn't like he could really understand either... he had never been in a real relationship before. Choosing to have one night stands - usually while he was on leave - was something he had grown accustomed to. Especially because it didn't muddle things up. No feelings were attached, and he didn't have to worry about seeing the girl again.
Pulling out a cigarette from the packet, Simon stuck it between his lips and grabbed the lighter, flicking it to light the cig. The nicotine engulfed his lungs immediately as he inhaled, enjoying the feeling of it going straight to his brain. He knew smoking was a bad habit, but it was one he had yet to even attempt to try and break. Between the stress of missions and being a Lieutenant, the only outlet he had outside of work was a cigarette in his mouth with a glass of bourbon in his hand. Sometimes, he'd watch a football game or rugby match, or he'd listen to his collection of music on the turntable he bought from an old man who was getting rid of some junk. But tonight, he just welcomed the quietness of the air, smoking his cigarette until he finished it. It was going to be a challenge, but he eventually made his way to bed, laying down as he stared up at the ceiling. By some miracle, after an hour, rest seemed to fall over him as he closed his eyes and drifted off into a dreamless but deep sleep.
The next morning, he was refreshed. His morning cup of tea bringing him back to life a little more as he cooked breakfast for himself. It was nothing special, just bacon and eggs, but it was enough for him. And once he finished eating, he showered and got dressed before heading out to buy groceries. He'd be home for at least the next two months, so stocking up the pantry was better than eating out every single day, even if he could afford it.
He decided to stop in the cafe that was close to his home to pick up another tea to take while he shopped. He enjoyed their take on the simple tea he usually made at home, so he thought, why not? When he stepped inside, the place was somewhat busy, but no one was standing in line, which was great; he could get his drink and leave. But there was one thing that caught his attention. The flustered and in a hurry woman who was shifting her weight on her feet as she waited for her drink to be called out.
You.
As always, you were in a hurry to get to work. Flustered because once again you forgot your umbrella. You slightly cursed the invisible weatherman that seemed to have told you it wouldn't rain today just because last night it was clear. Simon was somewhat surprised to see you again, not that he was purposely looking for you, but there definitely was an awkward interaction the last time he saw you. You basically walked backward into him, stepping on his boot by accident. But god, that soft smile you gave him made his eyebrows draw together a bit. Hardly anyone smiled at him the way you did.. mostly out of embarrassment, but he didn't need to know that.
When he walked up to the cashier, he could have sworn he felt a gaze on him. Your gaze. And once he placed his order and paid, he turned around, confirming his suspicion that you had been staring at him. Your eyes cutting away, embarrassed for even looking at him. When he walked over to you - the same spot where customers waited for their drinks to be finished - you wanted the ground to swallow you up. At first, you weren't sure if that was the same man you bumped into a couple of weeks ago in the cafe, but the moment he turned around and you saw the black surgical mask over the lower half of his face, your face turned so red. His brown eyes locking on to yours for a brief second made your pulse quicken.
Thank god, your latte was called out, making you scurry over to the counter to grab it before rushing out of the cafe, not even being brave enough to look at him again. It wasn't like Simon had plans to talk to you anyway, but he did think it was slightly entertaining. Maybe one day, if he saw you again, he'd tell you there was no need to feel embarrassed about the awkwardness between you.
Wait, why did he think that?
It wasn't like you two knew each other, but he didn't like the feeling of making you feel super uncomfortable if he could help it. And that was odd. It made his mind draw a blank for a split second before he internally shook his head. Still, his drink order was called out and he grabbed it before heading to the store.
What do we think about chapter 2? Still not sure about details on how I want to go with this. I have ideas but let me know if yall are still liking this after this chapter lol!
This is going to be a SLOW BURN so just know it's gonna take a while for reader and Simon to develop feelings :)
Taglist: @simp-4-masked-men @dayrin085 @jessicab1991 @kylies-love-letter @kalypsoox @brownlee-22 @firefoxkairan
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Fairy Tale
genre: fairy king jun x human reader
warnings: none, unless you count mentions of reincarnations
synopsis: on a visit to the forest you frequented as a child, you meet a fairy who says he has been waiting for you. after that, you can't shake off the fact that he is very, very familiar.
word count: 4.5k (not proofread)
if you like my fics, please consider reblogging, thank you!
p.s. sorry for the horrible photo editing bc i'm a hoshi when it comes to this ;-; but at least jun's pretty face makes up for it...right?
Near your childhood home, there was a forest with a beautiful lake inside. Back when you were younger, you would spend your days with your siblings swimming in the lake, running around playing hide-and-seek among the trees, and enjoying picnics while the wind blew gently around you.
Now you were older, and the forest was just merely a place for you to reminisce about your childhood memories. You had moved to another city for work, and even when you returned to visit your parents, you hardly ever went back into the forest.
Until one day, you were exhausted. Work had been stressful and tiring, and all you wanted was some peace and relaxation. So, on a whim, you took a day off work and drove two hours back home to visit the forest, in the hopes you would find the peace you needed there.
Soon enough, you found yourself at the lake. You bent down, running your fingertips over the cool surface. You sighed into the silence around you, relishing in the quiet you had yearned for for a while.
Until someone’s voice cut through the peace.
“I haven’t seen you in years.”
Quickly, you shot up from your position and turned around. A man was standing a few metres away from you, studying you. You took notice of a pair of shining blue gossamer wings on his back.
“Who…who are you? What do you mean, you haven’t seen me in years?”
He took a step forward, compelling you to step backwards as well. “You always used to visit this forest, did you not? Well, when you were a child, at least.”
A child? He’d seen you before all those years ago? Your heart raced in your chest. Had he been watching you and your siblings play in this very forest all this while? Was he a stalker?
He continued speaking, seemingly unaware of your rising fear. “I was hoping you’d come back. I’ve been waiting for decades. Ah, but then, you probably don’t remember me, do you?”
You couldn’t take it any longer. Realising he was still a decent distance away, you turned in the other direction and ran. You ran as fast as your two legs could carry you, all the way through to the forest’s exit.
You sat in your car, locking the door immediately for fear he might chase after you. Your breaths were laboured, and your heart continued to race in your chest. Never had you thought that someone had been watching you for so many years.
Your hands shook even as you started the engine, preparing to drive home. You couldn’t take your mind off that man. Who was he? Why did he have wings? What did he want with you?
Two hours later, even after you had parked your car safely in the carpark of your apartment complex, your hands were still shaky.
⋆˚✿˖°
“I just thought of something fun.”
“What is it?”
“Let’s race each other to the other side of this lake. Whoever loses has to grant the winner a wish.”
“Alright then, if you say so.”
Just as you watched two figures race each other along the field of grass, your alarm clock rang shrilly, jolting you out of your slumber. Worn out from the adrenaline rush you had yesterday, you dragged yourself out of bed and through to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
The rest of the day had been the usual: drive through the morning rush hour to the office, work, attend meetings, eat lunch, and back to work again. Before you knew it, evening had rolled around. You decided to just eat dinner from an eatery downstairs instead of cooking at home, and soon you were slurping pasta noodles while admiring the view of a park nearby.
“This pasta is delicious,” you murmured to yourself as you twirled your fork.
“Is it that good?”
“Of course it is. Everything that you cook for me is good.”
“Well, I’m just happy that you like it, my love.”
My love?
You whipped your head around, to see if you had accidentally made conversation with someone without realising, but there was almost no one sitting even remotely near your table. Yet, you were sure that someone had just spoken to you.
You tried your best to recall, but you were certain none of your exes had ever called you “my love”, nor did any other friend or acquaintance you knew.
My love, you mouthed the words.
Why did it sound so familiar?
⋆˚✿˖°
That night, you dreamed again, but this time it was of a strange man.
He brought you to a cozy-looking cottage, and led you in the door. He guided you to sit at a wooden table. Snapping his fingers, two plates of food appeared before the both of you.
“You cooked my favourite again!”
You couldn’t see the man’s face, but you heard his laughter. “I wanted to see you happy.”
“I’m happy with whatever you cook for me.”
Somehow, you could feel him smiling. “I’m happy when you’re happy, my love.”
Just as he lifted your hand and brushed a kiss over your skin, you saw what was behind his back – a pair of shiny, gossamer wings.
You woke up instantly. The back of your hand tingled, almost as though he had actually left a kiss there.
All you knew was one thing – you had to go back to the forest immediately.
⋆˚✿˖°
You entered the forest tentatively, trying to hear if anyone was approaching you. Not too long later, you found yourself at the lake again, at the same spot where the fairy had found you.
“You’re back.”
You had to cover your mouth to stop yourself from screaming out of shock. Turning around, you saw the person you had been looking for, his wings shimmering as he floated toward you.
“How did you know I was here?”
He smiled mysteriously. “I know everything that goes on here. I am the king of this forest after all…ah, but I suppose you don’t know that, otherwise you wouldn’t ask.”
Your brow furrowed in confusion. “King?”
“Yes. We fae reside in forests, and I am the ruler of this one. I can sense humans coming in and out of this place, and that is how I knew you came back.” He landed softly on the grass. “Would it be too bold of me to assume that the reason you returned is because you remembered something about me?”
You shrugged. “If seeing you in my dreams and having random hallucinations counts, then I guess so.”
It was his turn to look confused. “Dreams? Hallucinations?”
“Yeah. I saw your face during one of those. That’s why I came back to find you, to see if you knew anything about it.”
The fairy sighed. “How about we take a seat? It’s a rather long story.” He snapped his fingers, and a fluffy blanket appeared out of thin air and floated onto the grass. He sat down gracefully on one side, and beckoned you to join him.
You stared at him apprehensively, your hand inching towards the pocket where your emergency pepper spray was kept.
“Come on. Fae don’t bite, you know, even though some of your human fiction suggest otherwise.”
Somehow, your heart told you to trust him, even though your mind screamed otherwise. Slowly, you inched towards the blanket, sitting as far away from him as you could on the fabric.
“I just realised I haven’t properly introduced myself yet. I’m Junhui, but you used to call me Jun.” He smiled, holding out his hand for you to shake it. You did so, trying not to notice how smooth his skin was. “What do you mean, ‘I used to call you’?”
Junhui laughed. “I suppose you haven’t figured it out yet. You and I…well, you were my wife. Or your past self was.”
You nearly choked on thin air. “My past self? Reincarnations exist in this world?”
“You could call it that. Your soul gets reborn, but you don’t retain your memories of your past self. Think of it as a reset, the only thing that remains is your core, your soul.” His eyes swept over your body briefly. “If you ask me, you don’t look, sound, or act like anything of your previous self.”
“What…what was I like last time?”
Junhui pondered on the question for a moment. “Well, personality-wise, you were more daring. You wouldn’t have run away like you did the last time we met.”
Your cheeks heated. “Excuse me, but what girl wouldn’t be scared if she heard a stranger say they’ve been watching her since she was a kid?”
He chuckled. “Well, guess that is my fault. Apologies.” His gaze met yours. “I didn’t give you too big of a scare, did I?”
“You kind of did. I couldn’t stop shaking the whole night, thinking that you were some kind of stalker or predator.”
“Oh dear. I really am sorry. Is there anything I could do to make up for it?”
“Just, maybe tell me more about you. About us last time.” You played with the edge of the blanket. “I really don’t know much about you.”
He smiled. “Well, if it helps, you were very bold. The first time you saw me, you followed me around everywhere. You would insist on visiting the homes where we fae live. You wanted me to show you all over my land.” He paused before smiling again, seemingly into nothing. “And well, you were the one who proposed to me. Right by this very lake, in fact.”
“What – I did what?”
“Yes. You challenged me to a race to run from over there –” he pointed to a clearing a few hundred metres away, “to around where we are sitting right now. You won, and so you told me that for your prize, you wanted me to be your husband.”
“Let’s race each other to the other side of this lake. Whoever loses has to grant the winner a wish.”
Suddenly your dream made a lot more sense. “So, did we get married?”
“Of course,” Junhui said it like it was obvious. “Why would I not marry you?”
“Then what about now? Do you still want to marry me?”
“Why would I not?” Junhui turned to face you. His hand reached towards your face, and for a moment, you thought he was going to touch you. Yet, in that last moment, he retracted his hand. “But it’s ultimately your choice. Just because you are the reincarnation of my wife doesn’t mean that you will want to be with me.” He chuckled, but it was tinged with sadness. “I won't force my desires upon you. Since you stopped coming here so frequently, I knew there are always going to be things outside my control.”
“So, it’s fine if you don’t want to be with me. I’m already happy that you returned to listen to my story.” He propped himself on his arms and leaned backwards. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Even if I’m with someone else?” You blurted out.
He nodded. “Even if you’re with someone else.”
Your gaze swept over his figure. Upon closer inspection, he was rather attractive. His facial features seemed sculpted, his wings were the perfect amount of shiny, and his eyes…his eyes were so expressive, so full of emotion.
“Well, I’m still single, so…if you want, I could try things out with you.”
Junhui’s eyes lit up almost instantaneously. “Really?”
You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “Yeah, why not? If we used to be lovers, then maybe this will work out.”
“Don’t worry, my love. I will court you the way you deserve, before you make your decision.” He reached for your hand, and gently placed a kiss on the back of your palm. “When will I see you again?”
You sighed. “It might be a while. I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I’ll be taking a week off soon. I could visit my parents, and then..visit you too, I suppose.”
“Very well then.” Junhui stood up. “It’s quite dark; would you like me to walk you back where you came from?”
“Sure.” You got up from the blanket as well. Junhui snapped his fingers and the blanket vanished the same way it had appeared, and he led you towards the exit where you had parked your car.
“Apologies, but this is where I must leave you. I cannot physically venture out of the forest’s boundaries.”
“Why not?” You asked.
The fairy merely smiled. “It’s a complicated matter that I will explain to you some other time. It’s late, you better hurry home.”
You nodded, and waved to him. “Goodbye, Junhui. I’ll see you soon.”
You thought you saw a tinge of sadness in his eyes, but he quickly blinked it away. “Goodbye, my love.”
Somehow, as you drove further and further away from the forest, your heart grew heavier and heavier, almost as though you were leaving something you cherished behind.
⋆˚✿˖°
The next time you visited the forest, it was nearly a month later.
Work had been busy, and as much as you wanted to find time to spend with Junhui, it was almost impossible for you to leave. When your major projects were done, you found yourself counting down the days to the week of leave you had applied for, actually looking forward to meeting the mysterious fairy again.
He had mentioned that you were his wife a long time ago. Was it possible that despite not having any memories of your past life, your soul had somehow recognised him?
You mulled over the many questions in your head as you walked from your childhood home to the forest. You were staying with your parents for the week, so it was easier for you to visit Junhui.
“Hello, my love.”
Junhui made his appearance almost immediately after you had set foot into the forest. Luckily for you, you had anticipated his arrival so you weren’t too shocked by it. “It’s been so long since I last saw you, I even wondered if you had forgotten all about me.”
“Sorry,” you apologised. “Work was too busy, I couldn’t get away. But hey, I’ll be here for a week.”
The fairy merely chuckled. “A week would never be enough for me…but I guess I will have to make do.” He held out his hand for you to take it. “Are you hungry? I could cook something for you.”
You placed your hand in his, revelling in how it felt to have your hand in his. “Yeah, I’m hungry.”
“Well, I just procured some fresh strawberries this morning,” Junhui said as the both of you walked hand-in-hand past the lake. “Do you like sweets?”
“Yes!” You grinned excitedly. “What desserts can you make?”
Junhui smiled at your enthusiasm. “What do you want to eat the most?”
You pondered over it for a moment before replying. “Strawberry tarts!”
“Strawberry tarts it is then. I’ll make some for dessert,” Junhui stopped at a group of trees at the end of the clearing. “We’re here.”
You stared blankly at a tree in front of you. “You live in a tree?”
He laughed. “No, but my house is beyond these trees. Can you see the little fissure over here?” He lifted your hand that was still in his towards seemingly nothing in particular. “Use your fingers to feel it. You’ll feel something soft, and if you apply some pressure you’ll push through it and you can enter the fissure.”
You moved your fingers around the air where he had guided you. “I still don’t feel anything.”
“It’s alright. I’ll teach you how to observe and enter fissures next time. It took you a few months last time as well.” Junhui used his other hand to feel for it. “The reason why we fae are not sighted often by humans is because we mostly live in areas behind these fissures. Human eyes can’t see them easily, unless they have been trained to do so, of course.” You watched, fascinated, as his hand slowly disappeared into the air.
“Hold my hand and follow me,” he instructed, and you nodded.
As Junhui disappeared slowly, you closed your eyes and followed in the direction he went in. You felt something soft envelop you, similar to what he had mentioned earlier. You dared to open your eyes to see what exactly this fissure looked like, and was shocked by what you saw.
It looked as though you were still in the forest, but a brighter and windier part of it. Right in front of the both of you stood a cottage so beautiful you thought it came directly out of a picture. It was built entirely out of wood, had a stone pathway leading to the front door, and even had vines and flowers growing around the base of the house.
“Well, this is my home,” Junhui gestured towards the cottage.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the house. “It’s really beautiful, Junhui. It looks like it came out of a fairy tale.”
“It looks like a house from a fairy tale.”
Junhui smiled at the memory. Somehow you and your past self were very different, yet so similar. “Shall we go in, my love? I prepared lunch before you came, so it would be a waste to eat it cold.”
You blinked, almost as if you had been snapped out of a trance. “Yes, yes, let’s go.”
As you entered the fairy’s home, you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. The living room, the furniture, the kitchen all appeared to be something you had seen before at some point. Your eyes spotted a picture hanging on the wall behind his sofa, and you froze.
It was a black-and-white picture of Junhui and another woman next to the lake. Junhui was wearing a suit, while the woman with him wore a long white gown adorned with hundreds of tiny flowers. They were facing each other and smiling brightly.
“You and I…well, you were my wife.”
“Junhui…is that me? Or…I don’t know, my past self, or something.” You pointed at the picture, your voice a little shaky.
“Yes,”Junhui confirmed. “That was you and I on the day of our wedding.”
You were at a loss for words. Why did seeing your past self make you feel so disconcerted?
“Hey.” Junhui tapped your shoulder. “Do not think too much of it. I did say it would be your decision. Just because you and I were married once does not mean that I expect you to be my wife again. Just think of you and I right now as…” he paused for a moment to ponder over it. “People looking for a prospective partner, I suppose. I heard humans go on dates too, for a similar purpose.”
He glanced at the picture again. “I must admit that I am hoping you will return to me though. Before this, I never even considered that human souls could be reborn. So now that you’re here, it is a little difficult to hide my desires from you. I suppose I missed you too much.” He swallowed, and for a moment, you thought you saw his eyes glisten. But then he blinked, and whatever you had seen was gone.
“Lunch will be cold if we don’t hurry,” Junhui changed the subject. “I cooked cream sauce pasta today, with tomatoes and basil, all fresh from my garden.” He walked into the kitchen and opened the lid of a pot, releasing a delicious aroma.
You gasped seeing the pot full of your favourite dish. “How did you know my favourite food is cream pasta?”
The fairy’s eyes widened in surprise. “It is?”
You nodded vigorously. Taking a pair of tongs that he had offered you, you piled heaps of the pasta noodles onto your plate. You brought the plate towards you, inhaled the scent of fresh basil and tomatoes and cream, and sighed happily. “I love cream pasta.”
The corner of Junhui’s lips lifted into a smile. “I did not expect you to like it this much. I usually cook this for the other fairies because they like it, so I took a gamble, hoping you would like it.”
As he was talking, you had already lifted a spoonful of pasta to your mouth and ate it. As you chewed, you could taste so many wonderful flavours. How could something that looked so simple taste so good? “Well, you won your gamble.”
Junhui helped himself to some as well, and the two of you ate together. It felt a little awkward talking to him at first, but soon you found yourself talking to him more, and the awkwardness melted away the more you talked. You asked him all kinds of questions: about your past self, what his life as an immortal fairy was like, and about him being a king.
“You don’t live in a palace or something?” You asked between bites.
“Well, I have a small place similar to a government building in the human world,” Junhui explained. “We have meetings there, but I do not have a palace. Even if I did, I would want to stay in my cottage. It’s very cozy here, and it makes me feel closer to my people. If I stayed too far away, I fear I might get disconnected from them.”
He began cutting up strawberries for tarts. “When you’re done eating, you can go explore the area. You can go anywhere, just please avoid destroying my plants in the garden. I’ll need time to get these baked.” He gestured towards all the ingredients lying on his kitchen counter.
That was why you found yourself in his garden, staring at all the different flowers and vegetation and fruits growing in his huge land. You saw the same people from your dreams strolling down the stone path in the middle of the garden, except this time you recognised their faces to be your past self and Junhui.
“See right here, my love, are the roses. And those next to it are the carnations, and then these are lilies.”
“Oh, I love carnations. They remind me a little of you, actually.”
“Why’s that?”
“They represent pure love…and you seem to be giving me that.”
As the memories played through your mind, you wondered what it was like to love Junhui again. He made you feel comfortable, in a way your previous partners hadn’t. He evidently adored you, even if you weren’t exactly like your past self…but what if you couldn’t reciprocate those feelings?
“My love.”
You jumped, turning to see a smiling Junhui. “You really should stop scaring me like that.”
“In my defence, you were spacing out,” he raised his arms in surrender. “The tarts are done. Do you want to try them?”
Nodding, you followed him back into the house, where a steaming tray of piping hot strawberry jam tarts were on the dining table. And as you bit into one of the tarts, tasting the sweetness and the light acidity of the strawberries and the love Junhui had put into them, you thought you were going to tear up.
⋆˚✿˖°
You continued to visit Junhui everyday for the rest of the week. Your dates were often the same: he would cook for you, after which he would bring you to explore the hidden parts of the forest you never knew about. He brought you to his government building, some fairy villages, and even tried teaching you how to observe and enter fissures (you still failed miserably at that). As the days passed you found yourself feeling sad when you had to leave Junhui to go back to your parents’ house in the evening, and happy when you returned the next morning to see him.
When it was time for you to leave, you hugged Junhui, managing to finally catch the fairy by surprise.
“I’ll miss you, Junhui,” you mumbled. “Work will be busy, and I won’t be back for a while, but I’ll come as soon as I can, okay?”
Junhui wrapped his arms around you, and used one hand to stroke your back. “I’ll be waiting for your return, my love. Don’t rush it; I’ll wait as long as you need.”
After returning to the office, you often found yourself drifting off, thoughts wandering to the beautiful fairy. You realised you missed him, that you were yearning for his company. Your fingers hovered over your desk, tracing a heart shape over the table.
Maybe falling in love with Junhui wasn’t as difficult as you thought after all.
⋆˚✿˖°
A few months passed before you were able to find time to visit Junhui again, but the time you spent away from him had made you realise that even though you and your past self were different people, your soul still wanted him the way you did years before.
This time, Junhui had been waiting at the lake for you, almost as if he had anticipated you would come. You immediately ran to him and hugged him. “Junhui!”
He smiled, embracing you happily. “You’re back.”
“I got you a present, I think you’ll like it,” you told him excitedly. “Want to guess what it is?”
The fairy mulled over it. “Well, I’m not sure. You don’t seem to be holding anything big.”
“It’s in my pocket,” you pulled out a small velvet box. “Here, open it.”
Junhui complied, and opened the lid, peering inside the box. As soon as he saw what was inside, he gasped, the box slipping out of his grasp and landing on the grass.
“Junhui!” You yelled, immediately swiping the box from the ground. “You’re going to get the rings dirty!”
“What…why did you…”
“The last time I proposed to you, I didn’t have a ring, but when I finally get you one, the first thing you do is drop it?”
“No…no, I…” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “I did not expect this at all! I thought you might want to wait a while more.”
You smiled seeing his bewildered expression. “I wanted to wait a while before giving you my answer, but then the time I was away from you made me realise how much I love you. And…I don’t want to wait any longer, Junhui.” You held out the ring. “Will you marry me? Let me be yours…again.”
Junhui stared at the ring for a moment, before suddenly pulling you into his arms. Just as you were about to say something, he kissed you, taking your breath away. You melted into his embrace, returning his kiss with the same love and passion.
When you parted, he smiled. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
You laughed happily, before taking his hand and sliding the ring onto his finger, and letting him do the same with yours.
“I wanted to get you rings this time,” Junhui leaned in and brushed his lips softly against yours. “You’re more bold than I thought you were. It isn’t fair that I don’t get a chance to propose to you.”
“It’s alright,” you whispered. “You can do that in my next life. I’m sure that I’ll fall in love with you again, every single time.”
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Father. Is that what you are? Are you a father? I think you're more. Perhaps some sort of saint. Perhaps, after all, an angel. Perhaps, after all, God. The Bible says, ‘Do not make for yourself an idol.’ The Bible seems to be against idols, against icons. We are all sinners, Father. Even the church. Even the Bible itself. And you, Father? And you, Cas? How much sin and how much holiness is in you, do you know...
I haven't read the Bible. My mother read it to me, and even then, just the children's version. I remember the story of Adam and Eve. After all, who doesn’t? The Garden of Eden, paradise. Let’s imagine that our world is Eden. Crazy, I know. But let's imagine.
I think you’re the forbidden fruit in it. I think it’s not just for me.
I saw last week at communion how young Alfie looked at you. You think you're guiding him to the righteous path? I believe you’re driving him mad.
You shouldn’t know this. But here I am, reading a prayer, not to God, but to you.
I imagine your face if you saw me on my knees with folded hands. Dean Winchester? Never in a million years.
I'm going crazy.
I dreamt of wings recently—white feathers splattered with blood. As if something was being cut. As if wings were being cut.
I fear for you, truly, I fear. I saw young Alfie’s gaze. But I couldn’t see my own. I think there’s something terrifying there. Maybe demonic. Though if I’m a demon, a snake, I probably wouldn’t bite the forbidden fruit, because it’s not for me.
But I’ll tell you—it is for me. It is for me. I will kill, I will seal the sin, I will kill Alfie to get to you first.
I don't believe in God. But I feel possessed by all this nonsense you preach. Maybe it's the little silver cross on your chest—so modest. Maybe it's to blame. Maybe it’s your lips that read the psalms—those are shameless, Cas. A peach. I’m telling you—they're forbidden.
I want you to fear me. I really do. Kill me instead. There’s a shovel behind the church, I’ve already dug my grave, just cover it with dirt, please. Yes, right next to the parish, I know. I want to be close even after death. But dead, I’m not so... sinful, not so dangerous. You’ll either kill me, or I’ll pluck you from the branch of that damn tree in that damn Garden of Eden.
I want you to grow in me.
With life, grow, Cas. Because for now, you’re just a disease. You’re just temptation. You’re just tears on my cheeks, my madness, my hatred for the world.
The prayer is finished.
I dream.
You’re walking barefoot on the sea sand. It clings to your feet, to your heels. You’re walking, and for some reason, your feet are wet, that’s why the sand clings so persistently. You’re holding a crucifix in your hands. It dangles on a silver chain. There are handprints on your neck. Mine. And you’re murmuring prayers for forgiveness—to God. For me.
God won’t forgive me, God doesn’t exist.
I only have you. And you have that damned cross.
You would die if you heard me curse.
I like your church. It’s not tall, but it tries, it stretches to the heavens, breaks through it with its domes like a spine. Drives you mad with church bells. Curses everything around during thunderstorms and lightning, like a branch of hell on earth.
I like it. You’re there. Your broken wings are there. Blood instead of stained glass, feathers on the icons.
You. On the altar.
I. Holding the cross.
I touch you.
How good it is that you’re alive, write down my prayer. Please. It’s everywhere. Write it down. Write it down.
Whisper it like your last breath.
Take another breath. Wait. Stay with me.
You see? I'm on my knees again, for you again, for the second time in my life. Tell me the story of Jesus Christ. Tell me, I’ll listen. I’ll carry you in my arms, carry you down the Via Dolorosa. How good it is that you’re alive, that I didn’t touch you, well, almost.
My angel. I’ll bring you back. You’ll get everything, you’ll get the heavens themselves, I swear.
Can you imagine, someone told me—that I’m God.
Can you imagine, someone told me—that you’re mine.
Do you believe it? Will you say it back?
"Yes, I think you’re God. I think I’m yours."
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