#wish i could be conscious all the time 🥲

[maudiemoods]

I hate being sick but I also don't mind it because I'm never truly grounded unless I'm sick. Idk most of the time I feel like I'm watching my life behind a screen but when I'm super sick I get to feel the air and see things really clear

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Pretty please, reader who throughout her whole life was made to feel unattractive and undesirable and that makes her very self conscious about her body. This leads her to the inability to feel good during sex because she keeps thinking her partner is judging the way she looks. Until she does it with the 141 guys and Konig and they finally make her feel wanted and beautiful, leading to the very first orgasm of her life. If this is too specific or not your thing, feel free to ignore my ask. I love your blog, so keep up the good work.

𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍

Task Force 141 (+König) x Reader

Thank you so much for the kind words and the ask, I really really appreciate it🫶🏽 I got so excited and happy when I read this🥲

I feel like they would look at you and be like “Are you serious? YOU’RE A LITERAL GODDES“ and be extra gentle 🥹 I really hope you like it, I love youuuuu🩷❤️🩷❤️ P.S: You guys are beautiful just the way you are <3💖💋

(also I‘m comfortable with writing stuff like these so please feel free to always ask me these kind of stuff! 🫶🏽🫶🏽)

KÖNIG

König and you have been making out for a few minutes now and god he was really good at making you feel so needy.

But as soon as he switches the positions, caging you under him you felt a bit unsure and insecure. He definitely notices your mood change and stops his movement.

“What happened, schatz?" he asked curiously looking at you with concern. “Is everything okay?”

You don’t know how to reply. You don’t know how to tell him that you’re scared that he might leave you after having sex with you. You sit up straight and he notices how tears start building up in your eyes.

A part inside of you knows that he would never leave you because he is showing his face to you. And nobody knows how he looks like. Not even the people he works with. Only you.

But than there is this other part inside of you that keeps telling you that he will leave you as soon as he gets what he wants. Or worse as soon as you reveal your body, he will get scared and push you away.

“Talk to me liebling“ his voice is soft and his much larger hands gently run down your soft cheek. You look up at him but you can’t respond to him. He doesn’t waste another second and immediately hugs you and presses soft kisses on your neck. This time it wasn’t in a sexual way but in a I‘m here, it’s okay way.

Sometimes you feel bad because he is always this patient with you and you wish you could be more confident about yourself. If only you never dated your ex…

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks you gently and you just hug him tighter. “I‘m scared” you finally tell him. You can feel his face expression change and you thought that he will push you away now but he never did. Instead he continues holding you and kiss you. “What are you scared of?” his voice is genuine. He didn’t ask you just because he feels like he has to but because he really wants to know and learn more about you.

“That you’re gonna leave me as soon as I show you my body” you reply barley in a whisper. “Oh baby… how could I leave such a beautiful woman like you. Have you seen yourself? You’re a walking goddes“ he looks at you and lets his hands are on each side of your cheek. “You’re the most beautiful woman that ever walked into this world and I would never leave you. I love you so much mein Schatz” you let out a chuckle while tears are still falling down your eyes. "I love you too” you reply and smiles softly at you.

“We can do something else, if you want to“ he suggests and something inside of you is telling you to now let that happen. You’re confused about what is happening now.

“NO“ you all of a sudden yell causing him to look at you confused. “Baby, we don’t need to do it now. It‘s really okay” he tells you and he does mean it. He would never do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. He would sacrifice his own happiness for yours. As long as you are happy, he is too. You’re his light in the darkness and his whole world. Whenever he us holding you, he feels like he is holding the whole world.

“No. I want to do this. Please make me feel good” you desperately tell him. He hesitates for a second because he is still scared you don’t actually mean it and only want to do it because he wants to. But after seeing your face turning hot he smirks and realizes that you’re being honest.

And he will show you how much he loves you.

He started kissing you again and slowly removes your shorts. Your breath hitches in the middle of the kiss as you feel his hands working on removing your clothes. He looks down at your body and he smiles softly as soon as his eyes fall on your body.

“Don’t ever hide your body from me. You’re too beautiful to hide yourself.“ he kisses his way down and stops on your stomach. His fingers push your panties to the side and circle around your heated clit.

For the first time, you don’t feel ashamed about yourself. Actually, you feel really good about yourself. And all the negative thoughts are pushed into a corner and all you could think about is the moment right now.

“Oh my god“ you moan as two his fingers slowly push inside of you. “You’re so beautiful liebling“ he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around his fingers. He continues kissing your chest and stomach because he wants to hear your pretty moans. He pumps in and out of you and you start feeling dizzy. Not in a bad way. But in a very good way.

"Please just fuck me already” you’re shocked as soon as this sentence leaves your mouth. You can feel his smirk on your stomach and he starts looking up at you.

“As you wish, mein Schatz“ his smirk so devilish yet so cute. He removes his boxers and you see his hard cock spring free. He lets the tip of his cock dance around your tip, causing your back to ache with so much desperate. “Pleaseeee” your out of breath and he can definitely hear it.

“It’s gonna hurt for a second but you‘re gonna be okay” he warns you and starts sliding into you, slowly and gently.

“Oh fuck“ a tear leaves your left eye because of the pain but the pain doesn’t last long. It soon turns into pleasure and you give König the go to start moving. And he does as you say. He slowly starts fully slide into you and out of you, still gently.

You never felt this way with no one. It’s not your first time having sex but this feels different from the others. This isn’t just sex. This is him making love to you.

“Fuck“ he moans as he keeps moving in you. Soon the room was filled with the sound of your bodies clapping and your moans.

“You’re so beautiful, mein Schatz“ he continues saying how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. And you definitely feel it. You feel his words on your body and in your heart. And those aren’t just empty words, just to make you feel good. Bug he means every single one of them.

“I‘m so close“ you feel your orgasm building up and you didn’t know this was possible. Of course you knew that having an orgasm is natural but you never knew that you would also experience this kind of feeling.

"Let it out baby“ and you did as he said. You let it out finally feeling relaxed and good. König continued kissing you and telling you how much he loves you. Other than your ex, he did aftercare with you. He bathed you and cuddled the entire night with you.

You never felt so much loved.

SIMON RILEY

One thing you loved about Simon is that he never pushes you to do anything you don’t want to do. He respects your boundaries and never questions it. He waits for you to open up as soon as you feel comfortable.

And today is the day you want to have sex with him. You guys have been together for a long time but due to your insecurity you never let him get under your panties. But this time you want to have it. You want to push your insecurities to the side and feel good.

Of course a part of you is still scared that he might leave you as soon as he gets what he wanted but than there is this other part that reminds you that he showed his face to you. He lets you remove his mask from his face. So there is not much of a chance that he would ever leave you.

And honestly you’re desperate to finally feel his touch on your skin. So you make your way to your shared bedroom and sit on his lap. He loves you sitting on his lap and holding you close. But to be honest he is a bit confused because you never did something like this just because you felt like it.

“Hey baby" he kissed your cheek and pushed your hair behind your ear. “Hey Simon“ you started kissing him and tried to show him that you are in desperate for him. After a few minutes of kissing he slowly gets the message and switched the positions. “Are you sure you want this? We don’t need to do this“ he asks you and you shake your head.

“Please Simon. Make me forget about these thoughts“ you whisper and softly smiles at you. "You’re my kind of woman. I will love you forever" he kisses you and slowly removes your clothes and his owns. The kiss soon turns into a messy one and you feel yourself getting hotter and your pussy is getting wetter. His touch always made you feel something you didn’t know was capable of feeling.

His fingers kept teasing you‘re already needy pussy and then he finally slides them into you. You let out a shaky breath and he lets out a soft chuckle at the sight. “You feel so good around my fingers“ he confesses and you smile from ear to ear.

If you told younger you that you‘d ever feel yourself getting this close, you‘d probably laugh. But it’s true. You’re starting to feel the stuff you only read in books.

Simon pulls his hands away and gently starts sliding his cock into you. You feel a little pain at first but the pain doesn’t last long. Soon the pain turns into pleasure and you feel euphoric.

“Simon“ you moan his name and he gets weak at the sound of you moaning his name. He wants to be the only one hearing you moan. And he mostly definitely will be the only one hearing you moan. Sex feels more like love with him. You feel so many emotions while he keeps pushing in and out of you. And none of the emotions are negative.

“Simon oh my god. I can’t anymore” you feel the knot forming and he knows. Oh he definitely knows. “It’s okay baby. You can come“ his voice so sweet that you could faint anytime soon.

You let go of yourself and cum on his cock. Simon kisses you and tells you how much he loves you and how much he praises you body.

You’re happy that you finally got to feel these kind of feelings and that Simon isn’t leaving you. In fact, he is taking care of you right now. He cleans you up and cuddled with you while kissing your head.

You finally faced your insecurities and you’re happy you made that decision.

JOHN MACTAVISH

John and you have been together for 3 years now but you guys never had sex in those 3 years. Whenever you were about to get to this point, you would push him and every time you pushed him, you thought that he would be annoyed of you or yell at you. But he never did any of those. He in fact did the quite opposite. He always held you until you felt better and would always kiss your forehead. He would always tell you that he will wait for you until you feel comfortable enough to talk about your situation and why you feel like that.

And today was the day where you want to take it to another stage. You want to try to push your insecurity away and finally have sex with him. Not because you feel like you need to do it but because you want to do it. You want to feel good so you knock on his office door.

“Come in” his soft yet tired voice comes from the office and you enter the room. As soon as you enter the room he lets his pen fall and his whole attention is on you. That’s one thing you love the most about him. Whenever you were in the same room ad him, he would drop everything and would focus on you and only you. But sometimes you couldn’t help but think he was just doing it so you don’t see that he is slowly losing interest in you.

You make your way to his chair and sit on his lap. He immediately wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly while kissing your cheek.

“When are you finished” you asked him. Something inside of you hoped that he answers with I don’t know or maybe in like a few hours.

But instead he replied with, “I‘m already finished. Do you wanna do something?” which makes you a bit nervous. You can feel your heart beating faster than usual you start playing with your nails.

“I uh….” you start your sentence but you’re not sure if you want to finish it. You really want to have sex with him but a voice inside of your head keeps telling you that as soon as you reveal your body he will leave you or even worse, laugh at you.

“Yes baby, continue your sentence.” he carefully tells you and tried to comfort you. Your heart warms at his comfort. You turn to look at him and your eyes lock in with his blue eyes.

“Please be honest with me” your hands start shaking because you’re getting even more nervous. His eyebrows furrow and he notices your hands slightly shaking. “I‘m always honest with you, love.” his left hand rests on top of your shaking ones and you could physically feel your heart skip a beat.

“Would you ever leave me if I showed you my body?” you barley whisper and you’re not really sure if he even heard you. You closed your eyes, scared of his rejection. Suddenly you hear him let out a laugh and for a second your heart dropped.

“Are you joking?” he starts his sentence and you open your eyes, clearly confused. “Baby, you’re the most gorgeous looking woman in this whole world. Do you know how hard it is for me to not fight the boys because they keep joking about stealing you from me? I would rather die than leave you” he doesn’t give a chance to reply and instantly smashes his lips onto yours.

He tries to prove his point with the kiss and oh god he is definitely succeeding. His hands start resting on your waist and you let your hands wander up his chest.

After pulling away for oxygen you finally let that sentence slip out of your mouth.

“I want to have sex with you” he smiles at you and picks you up like you weigh nothing. “Whatever my princess wants“ he kisses you while moving you guys out of the office and to your shared bedroom. This time the kiss is filled with so much passion and desperation. He doesn’t give your mind a chance to let your insecurity win. It feels like he is blocking your thoughts. And for the first time you feel good about yourself. There is not a single thought about how you don’t look good or how he is gonna ditch you.

He gently lays you down on the bed and without breaking the kiss, he starts removing your cloths while you remove his. You only break from the kiss to remove your shirts and let it fall on the ground.

He stops kissing you and looks at your body. As you try to cover your chest he grabs your arms and lets them fall next to you. “Don’t ever cover yourself around me. You’re so beautiful” his voice is gentle and he starts kissing your body. The air in your throat starts to build up and you can feel yourself getting hot and the heat between your thighs starts building up.

“John” you moan his name and you’re shocked since you never moaned someones name. “Yes baby?” he teases you and he starts going down on his knees. His mouth over your clit he looks up at you. You look down at him and nod. And that’s he needed from you. As you feel his mouth collapse with your pussy, you fall back down.

For a second, you forget how to breathe. You’re starting to feel some things you couldn’t describe. “John” you moan his name again as you feel a knot building up in your lower stomach. John gets up and hovers over you. “I just came by just eating you out” he confesses which causes you to laugh. “It’s gonna hurt a bit but you’re gonna be okay” he warns you and you nod. As he pushes his cock inside if you, you couldn’t help but open your mouth and close your eyes at the feeling. The pain turned into pleasure and as you opened your eyes again and nodded, reassuring that you’re fine. You never felt this way with no one. It feels like this is your first time. But definitely better. There was not a single negative thought.

He slowly pushes in and out of you and the only sound you could hear is his whimpers and your moans. “So beautiful” he moans and kisses you while still fucking you. After a few moments he started being a bit faster but not too fast since he doesn’t want to hurt you. And you feel euphoric. The pleasure is way too good and your whole body feels better than ever.

“John, oh my god” you feel your orgasm building up. “Let it out baby” and after him saying that you let go of that feeling and create a mess under you.

“That was the first time I ever had an orgasm” you confess absolutely shocked and he lets out a cute laugh. “I‘m glad I was the one causing it, my beautiful woman”

John was the best in aftercare. He pushed your insecurities away and made sure you felt loved. He took a bath with you and even clothed you. And now you are laying in his arms, feeling happy and confident about yourself.

JOHN PRICE

John and you have been in a relationship for a while now. Even through he is gone a lot, he would still leave little notes and remind you that he loves you. Your insecurities always makes it hard for you to believe him. You keep thinking about how he doesn’t mean it. But why would he stay with you if he didn’t love you.

John was a good man. He was the best. He treats you right and gives you everything your ex couldn’t.

And right now you’re under him and you’re scared he is gonna judge your body as soon as your clothes are off of you. But as soon as he removes them you get the reaction you didn’t expect. Instead of him looking absolutely disgusted, he looks… pleased. “There really isn’t a part that isn’t beautiful. And you’re all mine” the last sentence comes out as a whisper. He kisses your body and your thighs but you’re still laying there, a bit confused. You didn’t expect this reaction from him. You feel a bit ashamed of yourself because why would you think that he would be disgusted of you. He gets on his knees and starts eating you out like a starving man. And oh boy… his tongue feels so good. You never felt this type of pleasure and you always thought that this feeling is unreal until now. You’re left with an open mouth and closed eyes trying to focus on now but it feels so good. All you could think about is what else he could do with not only his tongue but also his fingers and his cock.

After eating you out, which felt like hours, he hovers over you and starts sliding into you. You bite your lips and start to dig your fingers in his chest, leaving red marks.

“John“ you moan his name and all you could think about is how good he makes you feel. The feeling of pleasure feels unreal and this moment in general feels unreal. It’s too good to be true. His movements are gentle and shows you how much he loves you.

“You’re so beautiful. I can‘t believe you’re mine“ he whispers into your ear. You feel the orgasm building up.

“John” you moan his name and the feeling of release is getting closer. “It’s okay my baby. You can come“ and you do as he says. After creating a mess under you, you realize that john has come on your stomach which caused you to let out a laugh.

“Come here baby. Let me take care of you now“ and you allow him to do so. You don’t regret anything and for the first time, you feel loved.

KYLE GARRICK

You don’t get how Kyle was still staying with you even through you don’t really let him touch you in an intimate way. After a year and a half you thought he would leave you because he probably was getting inpatient but he never did which left you confused. He always came back to you and would never do anything that would make you uncomfortable.

And today is the day where you want to open up. You’re still scared that he might leave you as soon as he sees you and leave you like all your exes did but as soon as he sees your body… he hungrily starts kissing you and he asks you if he can fuck you.

To be honest you were confused at first. You didn’t expect him to react like this. Praising you like you‘re the queen and when you asked him if he is gonna leave you… he replied with:

“Leave you? Are you joking? I would rather die than leave you”

The kiss was messy and definitely sloppy which was making you feel butterflies and your pussy was getting soaked. He took his time but eventually he would push his cock inside of you and by just the feeling inside of you he came. Neither of you expect this to happen and that’s why you guys shared a laugh but he kept going. He kept pushing in and out of you and sooner of later you were feeling yourself getting hotter. You started breathing heavily at the feeling and Kyle noticed it.

His hands on your waist and the room was filled with your noises and the noise of your bodies. He was gentle and so caring, like he always is. You feel like you got teleported into another dimension because this feeling is everything but real.

“Kyle” you whined and he shushed you. “Okay baby. It’s okay. You can come” and you did. You let yourself release and then it hits you.

For the first time, you had an orgasm.

“So beautiful. My beautiful woman” he kissed you and held you close to him. He kept kissing you and play with your hair while looking at you with love written in his eyes. You physically felt his love and you’re so happy because of it.

You finally got what you deserve.

[alxtiny]

Hello! Just read your Seonghwa request fic and I was wondering if you could write one with Yunho as well? Except that reader is the one being mean to herself, not the parents🥲🫶

Thank you!

Chocolate Sundae | Jeong Yunho x Reader

Synopsis: where yunho reminds you of the beauty you have forgotten

Pairing:  Jeong Yunho x gn!reader, domestic au

Genre: fluff, comfort, slightly suggestive towards the end

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: mentions of body dysmorphia

Notes: Thank you for requesting anon! I drifted a little from the comfort vibe of the fic at the end i hope you don’t mind :’)

masterlist 

The soft glow of the café lights illuminated the street as Yunho walked hand in hand with you. His presence brought warmth to the cool evening air, but your mind was preoccupied. The subtle aroma of baked goods wafting from the café mingled with the laughter of people enjoying their desserts inside. Your heart ached; you wished you could join them.

Your gaze lingered onto a chocolate sundae, sitting behind the display counter,  just begging to be eaten, complete with velvety chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a sprinkle of crushed nuts. Your mouth watered at the mere thought of indulging in such a treat. However, a familiar wave of self-doubt washed over you, causing you to lean in closer to the menu and murmur to yourself, "Stop. You'll just get fatter with every bite." 

Sighing, you suggested "Yunho, let's find another place to go," attempting to divert your attention from the delicious looking chocolate sundae.

He looked at you and then his surroundings,his brow furrowing slightly. "Why? This place looks nice. Do you not like it?"

"It's not that, I just... I'm not really in the mood for sweets," you replied, your voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

"That can’t be true, what's going on?" he asked, his eyes searching for yours. 

You looked away, not being able to meet his gaze as you felt the familiar tug of insecurity pulling at your heart. "It's nothing. Let's just go somewhere else."

His fingers lifted your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, right?".

You let out another sigh, feeling a weight lifting off your shoulders just from his concern. "It's just... I hate the way I look. I can't even fit into half the clothes I used to, and every time I see something delicious, I just... I feel like I'm getting fatter just looking at it."

His expression softened, and he pulled you into a warm embrace. "You are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. And trust me, I've seen you struggle with these thoughts before. You're not alone in this."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you blinked them back fiercely. "I know it's silly. I shouldn't let these thoughts control me."

"It's not silly, and it's not something you can just brush off," Yunho reassured you. "But maybe it's time to see yourself through my eyes."

Before you could respond, the waiter appeared to lead you to a table. You followed him, still lost in your thoughts. As you sat down, you couldn't help but glance at the dessert menu again, your inner battle continuing.

Yunho leaned over, his voice barely a whisper. "You know, that chocolate sundae sounds really tempting."

You forced a smile, trying to play it off. "Yeah, but I'd probably gain a pound just by looking at it."

He leaned closer, his warm breath tickling your ear. "You're not alone in this fight, remember?"

His words touched your heart, and you nodded. "I know. Thank you, Yunho."

---

Later that evening, you both returned home. The atmosphere was different now, a mix of comfort and vulnerability. As you prepared for bed, you caught Yunho's gaze lingering on you, and you felt self-conscious under his scrutiny.

He stood up and approached you, his eyes gentle yet intense. "Come here," he said softly, holding out his hand.

"I want you to know that you're perfect to me," he continued. "Every smile, every imperfection, they all make you who you are, and I love every part of you."

Your heart swelled at his words, the weight of your insecurities momentarily lifted by his unwavering affection. Yunho leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a sweet, comforting gesture.

"But I don't want to just tell you," Yunho said, his voice filled with determination. "I want to show you. I want you to feel how much you mean to me."

With that, he leaned in, his lips pressing against the corner of your mouth. He moved slowly, as if savouring every moment, leaving a trail of soft kisses along your jawline. His hands cradled your face, his touch both tender and reassuring.

"You're like that tempting chocolate sundae," Yunho murmured between kisses, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. "I can never have enough of you."

As his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, you felt a rush of emotions flood over you. Yunho's love enveloped you, erasing the doubts that had plagued your mind for far too long. The kiss deepened, becoming a silent promise of acceptance and adoration.

Yunho's hands began to explore your body with a reverence that sent tingles of desire coursing through you. His touch was electrifying, each caress a testament to his affection and appreciation for every inch of you. Slowly, he began to pepper kisses along your collarbone, his lips trailing a path of fire.

"You're perfect, Y/N," he whispered against your skin, his voice laced with sincerity. "And I want you to see yourself through my eyes."

His words ignited a newfound sense of confidence within you. Your fingers found their way into his hair, your lips seeking his in a hungry kiss that conveyed your longing, your gratitude, and your love.

Yunho's fingers deftly began to undo the buttons of your shirt, his touch a mixture of urgency and tenderness. With each button that gave way, he pressed a gentle kiss against the exposed skin, his actions a celebration of your beauty.

As the fabric slipped from your shoulders, Yunho's lips followed the path it revealed, leaving a trail of heated kisses along your collarbone and down your chest. His hands caressed your sides, fingers tracing patterns that ignited sparks of pleasure.

"You're the most exquisite masterpiece, Y/N," Yunho murmured as his lips continued to worship your body. His words were a mantra, a reminder that you were cherished beyond measure.

You walked over to him, his fingers interlocking with yours. He led you to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, and you stared at your reflection, the familiar sense of discontent rising within you.

Yunho stood behind you, his arms encircling your waist. All you could see were flaws, imperfections, and the weight you wished you could shed.

He placed a gentle kiss on your neck, his voice a soothing murmur. " You know what I see? I see the person I fell in love with. I see someone strong, kind, and absolutely beautiful. Your body tells a story, and every curve, every mark, is a part of it."

Tears welled up again, but this time, they were different. They were born of his words, of his acceptance, and of the love he had for you.

"I want you to understand something," Yunho continued, his voice unwavering. "Just like that chocolate sundae you saw today, you are irresistible to me. I want every part of you, just like you were made perfectly for me."

He turned you around to face him, his eyes locking onto yours. His lips met yours in a tender, passionate kiss, one that spoke volumes of his love and desire for you. His hands traced every contour of your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

"Let me show you how perfect you are," he murmured against your lips, his hands guiding you towards the bed.

---

In the quiet intimacy of the night, Yunho's whispered declarations of love filled your ears, mingling with the gentle sounds of your heartbeats. As he traced invisible patterns on your skin with his fingers, you felt your self-doubts melting away, replaced by a sense of belonging and acceptance you had long yearned for.

The next morning, as the sunlight filtered through the curtains, you woke up to find Yunho watching you with a tender smile. "Good morning," he greeted, his voice husky with sleep.

"Morning," you replied, returning his smile.

He propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes traveling over your features. "You know, you're like that chocolate ice cream I can never have enough of."

You laughed softly, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. "I thought you weren't supposed to have too much sugar.”

He leaned in and kissed your nose. "You're my guilty pleasure. But unlike a sugary treat, you're the kind of perfection that I can enjoy without any regrets.’

As he pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to every visible part of your body, you felt a sense of deep contentment settle over you. It was a feeling that you knew would stay with you, reminding you that you were loved for who you were, imperfections and all.

In Yunho's embrace, you found a haven where your worries couldn't reach you. With every touch, every kiss, he was rewriting the narrative you had held onto for so long. You were beautiful, just as you were, and his love was the mirror through which you saw your true reflection.

© alxtiny . Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my works on any platform in any way.

Send an ask or a message to be added to taglist 

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURE FICTION AND NOT RELATED TO THE MEMBERS OF ATEEZ IN REAL LIFE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

Taglist: @sushi0517

[galvanizedfriend]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @kirythestitchwitch and @morningstargirl666 🤗

How many works do you have on ao3? 22! But I think I currently have two or three fics that are private because I keep meaning to rewrite and never get around to it.

What's your total ao3 word count? 1.617.205 😗

What fandoms do you write for? Currently only The Vampire Diaries/The Originals.

Top five fics by kudos: The Wolf (surprising no one, The Originals S1 rewriting), The Wolf II (surprising no one², The Originals S2 rewriting), Vice & Virtue (very surprising this has more kudos than TWIII lol, regency AU), The Wolf III (The Originals S3 and 4 rewriting) and The Sound of Settling (that time I committed coffee shop!AU).

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to always keep up with comments, but I get a little behind from time to time, especially with comments left on older fics. Sorry, folks 🥲 With WIPS, I tend to always reply to comments right before or immediately posting a new chapter.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Pendulum, for sure. The alternative ending is pure angst (and I love it very much, there's so much meaning and to me it's a perfect ending for that story).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All the others lol All my fics have a happy ending, Pendulum is an exception.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore, though I did recently get a bitter anon here on tumblr. But yeah, I've received a lot of hate over the years.

Do you write smut? Occasionally, when I feel like the story asks for a smutty scene, but more often than not I go with the classic fade to black.

Craziest crossover: I've never written crossovers, though I have written lots of AUs inspired by other things (I forgot what those are called now).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, I have. A while back this nutjob stole a bunch of fics and published them as originals on Amazon and The Wolf was among them. I got lots of comments from people warning me about it and I managed to get it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have! To Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not, though it's a fun idea.

All time favorite ship? My favorite ship is always the current one and I've been stuck on Klaroline for a few years now. Those two idiots in love have my whole heart.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have so many. 🥲 I really wanted to give the TVD S5 rewrite a chance, but really don't think I have it in me to start something like that again.

What are your writing strengths? Oh boy. I suck at paying myself a compliment. But I've heard I write good action scenes? I don't know if it's true. Personally, I think I do a decent job of writing AUs, as in adapting canon aspects to other universes. I don't just plaster names on characters, I try very hard to make sure everything is still recognizable even in a totally different setting (then again, that's very subjective 😂).

What are your writing weaknesses? Wordiness. I am so freaking wordy, my stories are so goddamn long. I wish I could simplify my writing, shorten sentences, but alas. I have these ideas for writing exercises I would like to try with a couple of ideas I have, but I need to finish the ones I have started before I can jump into something else.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it's single words or short sentences, it's ok. I kinda like it even, but when it's full dialogues in languages I don't understand, it kind of loses me.

First fandom you wrote in? I think I wrote some semblance of fic when I was like 12 for Charmed, though I didn't even know that was fanfiction. But the first conscious fic I ever wrote was for Torchwood.

Favorite fic you've written? Pendulum. I think it's the most original and profound (lol) thing I ever wrote, it expresses many aspects of how I feel about KC. But I also really, really like The Unexpected Grace of Falling Apart. I LOVE romcoms and I think that story is everything I love in that genre, without being completely silly (in my opinion, ofc). Those two fics couldn't be more different if I wanted to, but one thing they have in common is the fact I spent years working on them.

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @howlingmoonrise, @misssophiachase, @jinxedwood, @bettsfic, @bellemorte180, @marginally-accurate, @b-mina and @austennerdita2533!

[wine4thewin]

I absolutely love your fanfiction (especially your JJK fics). I want to ask if you have ever had to overcome "shame" or self-judgement with writing what you want? I have so many stories or concepts that I want to write but often feel too guilty or self-conscious to get them onto paper.

When I look at fanfiction, I think that is the one place to be as self-indulgent as you want with writing…but also to learn and practice! I can still remember 19 years ago when I first posted a fic and it was awful, but I didn’t care, I was having fun doing something I loved 🤣

I always write what I want to read and I personally don’t care if it isn’t anyone else’s cup of tea. I make it very clear if a story is going to be dark (or if it isn’t). This allows people to make their own choices on reading. That said, it’s very important that you write what you are interested in, because if you write to “please other people”, you will be unhappy and your writing will be without a heart 💔

Small story on writing what you love.

Once upon a time, there was an indie author who wrote stories I vibed hard with. She created a unique, eerie, gothic fantasy world full of dark subject matters and tough relationships. I wrote to her as a fan, and we ended up becoming penpals across oceans through our shared love of writing. We spoke for a few years until she told me she wanted to move away from her darker series / stories because they weren’t making big enough money; she figured she needed to go mainstream. I was saddened, but understood and supported her. She needed to do what was best. Ultimately, she removed all her stories from Kindle. We eventually lost touch, though I still have her books and love them. She never quite ramped up on writing mainstream, because I don’t think that’s what she truly loved 🥲

What am I getting at here? Don’t worry about judgement. You are the only one to hold yourself back. Fanfiction is the place you can have all sorts of journeys and trials and errors! I use it as my place to get as “freaky” as I want. However, when it comes to original writing and indie publishing, I do observe there are things I shy away from since it could be too risqué for the average traditional reader who can only handle HEA endings or fluffy wholesome romance…but I still cling tight to the dark themes I enjoy, because that’s what I like…and some people seek that too!

I would say if you are nervous about posting, restrict your stories to registered users only. That can keep rude anons away if you’re afraid of someone being an internet troll. Or forget about posting and just focus on the act of writing what’s in your head! Stop worrying about ridicule, no one is sitting on your shoulder watching you (unless you are like Kronk below)!

If anything pops up in my head, anything at all, I write it down on my phone if I’m on the go. Do I struggle with my own anal retentive, hard type-A, perfectionist personality at times? Yes. I won’t write because I don’t think I’ll do it good enough. But if I force myself to just shut up and write the most bare bone thing that pops up and I come look at it later and want to write more detail, to flesh it out, I’ve already won. I’ve beaten my own negativity. I wrote something I wanted to -read- more of.

…and so if you sit down and write whatever few lines or a scene in your head, you will probably come back in a day or a week, add more to it, and be so happy to read what you wrote, because you wrote what you wanted to read. You need to write for yourself first.

Seriously. It works. I have tons of WIP original fiction on my computer that I’ll sit and read and think damn it, I love it, I wish some bitch would finish this story 🤣 the bitch is me, I’m the bitch

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Hi~~ i wish you have a nice day, I love your blog.

I'm quite new to the mdzs fandom but i already fed up with them. Just now, i saw some fans said that lxc being a complete jerk towards wwx and lwj. I know lxc made mistakes as well but being a complete jerk? And then proceed to say that the jiangs treated wwx like a real young master eventho he's a servant's son 🥲

I dont know anymore~

I'm so sorry for rambling here, i hope you dont mind.

Good morning anon, no need to feel bad, it's what I'm here for at times.

Personally, no I don't agree with the many more critical takes regarding Lan Xichen. He is not meant to be seen as a major part of the problem(tm) as others within story. He is simply a protective elder brother that is unfortunately kinder and ignorant in a world that is against that very character in a stage that caters towards the politically corrupt and taking advantage of those characteristics. He is not a cruel leader.

His sect at any rate isn't meant to be politically motivated and this is reflective of his teachings. Culturally if you are that heavily based within doaist teachings, it is not actually meant to be used for the political world. There are sayings that to be a good doaist, you aren't a leader or one to be equivalent to an emperor. You aren't meant for politics essentially other than advisory. Can this be disliked, of course, doaism is supposed to be the divorce of human strife from enlightenment, good and bad are not supposed to shake you as neither extreme are complete harmony.

His point narratively is what this practice means for people in the thick of these human issues and the counterproductiveness of pacifism in the face of needing to come to term with punishment of humans and the hypocrisy of this at times you have to fight with personally.

Wei Wuxian as well. He was treated alright and enough for him to be thankful and happy at lotus Pier, but realistically he was not treated well by several there, it was just that he weighed the good against the negative and was comfortable staying to find his happiness with the situation. However, with the given world building status is flung against him as having become too arrogant given he was born a servant's son, and the expectations of him were to also serve as such and obey. This is used against him by his guardians themselves, Jiang Cheng and the world as recompense for having raised him as a cultivator, he also told his own self whatever sacrifices made by him for it, was of an equal sacrifice for having been taken in and raised as such. This is a theme regarding those that are lower class, they are expected to show full gratitude and repayment that those of higher status do not.

"Consider it a repayment of my debt to the Jiangs,” Wei Wuxian added.

Jiang Cheng raised his head and looked at him with bloodshot eyes. “…To my father, my mother, my sister?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

Wei Wuxian rubbed his temple. “Forget it. It’s all in the past. Let’s not bring it up again.”

This wasn’t something he liked to keep reliving. He didn’t want to be forced to remember the sensation of having his core cut out while he was still conscious, nor want to be forcefully reminded of what a sacrifice it had been and what it had cost.

Had this incident been exposed in his previous life, he would most likely have laughed it off. He would have consoled Jiang Cheng with, “It’s really no big deal. Look at me, haven’t I managed for this long without a golden core? I still beat up whomever I want and kill whomever I please.” But he no longer had the strength to keep up a nonchalant act.

Truthfully, he wasn’t unaffected. Could a person so easily resign themselves to such a loss?

Of course not. It was impossible.

Wei Wuxian’s own pride when he was seventeen or eighteen had been, in fact, on par with Jiang Cheng’s. He had also been someone with strong spiritual power and exceptional talent. Even when he’d fooled around all day catching fish and shooting birds, and

climbing walls and playing pranks at night, he had still been leagues ahead of his fellow disciples who actually studied hard.

But whenever he found himself tossing and turning in the dead of night, unable to sleep and plagued by thoughts of how he’d never again follow the orthodox path to the mountain’s peak, never again display the astounding swordplay that made people’s jaws drop…he would turn his thoughts around with a simple fact. If it had not been for Jiang Fengmian bringing him to Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian might never have crossed

paths with the cultivation world. He would never have been conscious of such a mystical and magnificent realm. He’d merely have been the leader of some homeless street urchins who roamed the streets and fled at the sight of dogs—or perhaps herded cattle and stole vegetables in the countryside, playing his flute and living one day at a time. He’d have had no way of cultivating, let alone a chance to form a golden core.

And at that thought, he’d feel a lot better.

So he treated it as a repayment of his debt, or an atonement for his sins.Treated it as if he had never obtained that golden core to begin with.

After bringing himself around so many times this way, he was almost able to actually feel as wild and carefree as he acted on the surface. He could even half-jokingly praise himself for the state of acceptance he had reached, while he was at it.

But all that was in the past.

His rationale is very similar to what those in poverty or on the cusp tell themselves, be grateful for what is given to you, no more, and always repay what others have given to you despite anything. Don't whine, take it, be grateful, don't ask for more, and expect to pay back in full due to integrity. Note that this is also what Jiang Cheng insists on, but the goals have constantly shifted as to what Wei Wuxian owes him. First it was because of his parents raising him, next, what he owed Yunmeng Jiang due to being a disciple, then, what he made Jiang Yanli "lose".

You cannot repay something that is not tangentially there any longer, hurt feelings do not have closure unless you have to lay them to rest. Wei Wuxian had done his all to protect the Jiang's son as expected and more. Yet this still is not him bemoaning the situation as he rationalized it was what he needed to do based on the chance he was given. Not many else in the work bother to do more than blame others or shift blame and responsibility.

[theflyingfeeling]

...😵

tl;dr: I want to open fic requests for December but I'm scared 🤧

~

ugh I always feel so self-conscious about talking about my fics because I feel like I'm always talking about (my) fics or (my) fic ideas, and the mean part of my brain is constantly trying to convince me that everyone is sick of that already and think I'm an attention seeker (which I swear I'm not 😭 having said that, I want to clarify that I'm not implying I think anyone who talks about their fics is an attention seeker! it's more about me expecting everyone to hate me specifically for constantly talking about mine 🤡)

in addition, I'm scared of everyone getting bored of all the Olli/Allu talk on my blog as well (apart from the lovely people who send me Olli/Allu related asks almost daily, I love you all so much 🥺💕) and that people think I'm incapable of talking about anything else (which is not the case, even if I do spend a worryingly lot of time thinking about these two nerds 😂)

oof, so now that I've gotten all that mandatory self-depracating talk out of the way: I really want to try and create an Olli/Allu prompt fic challenge for myself for December 😭

yes I knooooowwww there are already at least two fandom events for December and I could just participate in those and I'm sorry for being greedy and attention-seeky but...I kinda want to make my own 🥺 because I'd like to make it prompt-based, because I think that would be fun 🥺 a word-prompt maybe, or a situation-prompt, perhaps from a list of prompts I've compiled myself to make sure I can handle it, because I'm still traumatized by how horribly I failed with the super adorable Valentine's Day prompts last winter, because my brain just wasn't braining the way I needed it to brain 😭 for this reason I'm also considering just coming up with my own prompts, because I swear I could come up with 24 different fic ideas in one sitting with little to no problem, but on the other hand, getting requests is also super fun... 😩

also, if I was to open requests, I feel like I'd have to do more than Olli/Allu, because I understand it's not everyone's OTP (actually I don't but you do you lol (jk)), and I do want to write other pairings as well, but some pairings inspire me more than others, and recently I've felt like I've been inspired by Olli/Allu only, and maybe Joel/Joonas occasionally

another two-bladed issue is that while I feel like requests would perhaps make me more motivated to write, there's also a very likely chance they might start to feel like a chore, because when I'm not motivated, I simply can't force myself to write for the sake of fulfilling a request 🥲 that's just not how I work, no matter how much I wish I could. and I absolutely don't want to go through all the guilt and crying buckets for not fulfilling requests like I did earlier this year. I know I'm not quite as miserable now as I was then, so maybe I could bribe my brain to brain the way I need it to brain this time around, but the risk I'd be taking is just too terrifying 😭

so anyone who writes a ton of fics on request: you guys are my fucking heroes and I don't understand how you do it, can you spare a tip or two for a poor brainless fic-writer who's only able to write when the stars are in the exact right position? 🥺 and no, saying stuff like "you don't have to fulfil every request you get, that's completely alright and your readers will understand" will NOT do, because hellooooooooo of course I'll feel unnecessarily guilty about not fulfilling prompts even if there's no good reason for me to do so, don't you know me at all?! 😭😭😭😭😭 of course I know that my sweet, amazing, loving, world-deserving readers will be unreasonably understanding and not hold it against me if I did end up failing to fulfil their requests, but I'd still feel terrible about it, and there's nothing anyone could say or do about it I'm afraid 🤧

(I'd also be more than happy to collaborate with other content-creators for this but 1) there are already two fandom events for December, 2) I'm sort of only interested in writing Olli/Allu myself and making the whole challenge just about them would seem a tad circle-jerky and I'd hate to exclude anyone, and 3) not enough braincells to carry out a whole entire fandom event by myself)

so if anyone has any suggestions or ideas or tips regarding what kind of (perhaps) prompt-based fic challenge I could do without scaring myself shitless, I'd like to hear from you, totally alright if not though < feel free to ignore I promise I understand 🥺

[alittlefrenchtree]

I would like your opinion on this please 🥹 I read somewhere else that according to someone "it's bad" that Taylor hasn't had any other films in 2 years and that his agent should work harder on that one. I do not agree? I mean, in my opinion it was also a conscious choice not to make films until the release of rwrb, I highly doubt he hasn't had any kind of proposal in 2 years or been able to audition. I think the fact that in these two years he focused so much on fashion was a conscious choice to make his name known around as much as possible. If we think about it, the popularity he acquired this year when he only came out with one film is very huge, so actually they worked very well and he is perfectly perceived as an actor and model despite not having had any more projects. We know we will have something in the new year and I can't wait but in my opinion the work they are doing with him now is excellent. Am I wrong? 🥲 What do you think about it?

Hi!

I agree with you, it’s not bad at all.

First and foremost, because he’s doing whatever the fuck he wants and not what’s the Internet wants. Not working with or knowing him makes it difficult to know exactly all the how-s and why-s but if I had to guess, here are a few of my thoughts about it.

It’s good to remember that movies take FOREVER to be made between the initial talks and the final products. He could have signed or be in talks for things and we wouldn’t know about them before 6, 12 or many more months.

We also know that he had some heavy personal stuff going on in his family this year and I imagine that he dedicated time to his loved ones (and I hope to himself and his health) so he might not has been 100% through the whole year.

All of that being said, my guess is that it’s possible many of the projects/roles that were handed to him before RWRB were… not so good? First and mainly, because he’s so new at this. Also probably because having started as a model and being insanely beautiful very often don’t help to be taken seriously as an actor at first. Perhaps, also because himself didn’t feel confident enough in his acting skills to pursue roles that were actually good for him.

If he was tired of playing the dumb hot guy and wasn’t interested in the roles he could have taken and was growing more confident on his acting shoes with the roles he played in TKB2 and 3 and, obviously, becoming our lord and savior Alex Claremont-Diaz, maybe he became a bit more picky with the characters he wanted to play. I guess having other jobs prevented him from struggling for money so he would be right to be picky in my opinion.

The way his status changed over the past 6+ months has certainly opened more doors for him. Doors leading to many more projects without doubt. Most of them probably still being bad (but more numerous) because that's the way things are and he’s still relatively new even if he’s a big new now. And somewhere in the middle of all of these, there are probably a few exciting things might or might not become actual things. It’s a long and tiring process and if he’s being mature enough to take his time and not rush into the first stupid things just to publicly exist, it’s a very good sign. Having the choice to take time is a luxury for an actor and I sincerely wish that for him. It’ll be good for his career and his mental health on the long run.

Beside, the strike ended like 2 minutes ago and many actors/actresses didn’t announce new things since then so there is really nothing to be worry about for me :)

That, and for all we know, maybe he has signed for a potential sequel of a certain thing, meaning he’ll be busy for months ahead and working on other things could have been postponed for a while, if he made it a priority.

Sorry I tried to be as clear as possible but I’m not sure I’ve succeeded in writing down my feelings about it? I’ve rushed it a bit since I need to go butter some canapés and obviously everything is my very own opinion and not a statement of absolute truth but I hope it’s a decent answer to your question at the very least. 

Merry Christmas if you’re celebrating and have a lovely Sunday if you don’t 💜

[onmyyan]

Hello 👋👋👋

I absolutely LOVE all of your writings!!!! I’ve read everything you’ve made so many times and this is the first time I have ever asked any author anything but I recently wanted to start writing!

I’ve never written something from start to finish because I get so self conscious about putting my work out there and nobody liking it but I’ve recently been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and I want to upload some of my own works. (Wish me luck🥲🥲🥲)

So I wanted to know if you could give me some tips and advice for writing and also any tips you have for writing yanderes

Thank you so much for all the creative works you give us, I have read through everything so many times I find such great comfort in them!!! Anyway I don’t want to take up anymore of your time but I also don’t know how to end this so I love you and thank you 😊

Omg!! hello new friend! Thank you for such sweet words :') I appreciate them and you, ur too sweet omfg ❤️🥺

Okay so first, and what I feel is the most important tip I can offer, is to Write. 👏🏼 What. 👏🏼You.👏🏼 Want.👏🏼

It's simple but some of the best piece of writing advice I can offer.

As long as you're enjoying what you're putting out into the world, that's all that matters, even if people don't like it or it doesn't get as much interaction as you may have hoped, don't stop doing what you enjoy! (Fun fact, I started this blog bec I had read damn near everything yandere for my fandoms and needed more, I pulled a Thanos)

If you have passion for creating then do it, even if it's only a sentence a day, you're crafting entire worlds with your words! You are in control here, the pace and energy of your pieces is up to you, so set the tone however you like.

For me? I knew I wanted to write about a specific type of yandere, the kind that aren't physically abusive to their darlings, or all the other darker shit that comes with this beloved trope, the genuinely love sick, I found my brand of content that I enjoyed consuming and started creating it with all my favorite parts of the trope mashed together in a beautiful mess, all that to say, ask yourself what kind of Yandere stories you enjoy consuming and why?

What about those particular plots appeal to you?

Once you narrow that down it'll be easier to find your groove, also don't be afraid to try different styles or characterization or AU's the possibilities for this journey are endless and I for one can't wait to see what you come out with, I hope this was helpful!! Pls let me know if there's anything I do to help ya, love ya lots!

-Onmyyan

P.s. if you're comfortable I'd love to follow your writing blog, but only if you're comfortable of course, absolutely no pressure on this end ❤️

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Because of your blog I learned what keratosis pilaris is. I thought that was normal. I thought everyone just had that. I didn't there was magical words for it this is wild, you learn something everyday.

Omg that's great tho 😭 I used to think it would go away when i started shaving my legs (spoiler alert, it didn't) and then i thought getting tattoos would "drill" it away, but nope 🥲 it pops up through the tattoos as well

I never knew what it was until like 2-3 years ago and I grew up frustrated that only my skin looked like it had zits all over (peers would ask me that all the time!! I hated it!! it was just normal to me!!) and what sucks is you can only age it away, so you might as well own it 😭 (personally every now and then i get a bit self-conscious because on me i think it looks ugly/messy/childish and I wish I knew what it was like to look or be smooth) though i've never tried to hide it because it's literally everywhere 😭

But COOL!! glad I could bring that to light! 😭✌️ exoskeleton club!!

[currentlyworry]

Hi! I’m not sure if you’re actually active here, I come from your fic It’s Just Some Little Thing on AO3 but I don’t have Twitter :(

First of all I want to say that your fic is absolutely AMAZING!!! It’s so well written, the characterization, pacing, the metaphors, dialogues absolutely everything is delightful and I wish I could read it again for the first time (but I’ll settle for just re-reading it over and over).

Second of all, I’m actually writing to you here to know how you feel about your fic being translated? (And I’m too self conscious to just ask through AO3 comments 🥲) I’m a French translator with some free time on my hands and I would really love to translate your story (i.e. translate something I actually enjoy for fun instead of boring stuff for work). So let me know if you would mind having it translated into French!

Anyway, I can’t wait to see what you write next (whenever or whatever that is) and I hope school and life is treating you well <3

Hi there! Sorry for the late reply since I’m really not active on here at all and barely know how tumblr works lolol 😭

thank you for your sweet comments and i definitely don’t mind my fic being translated! i would only ask you to please keep it on ao3 since i don’t post my work anywhere else, and ofc include my ao3 user somewhere on there. other than that it’s totally okay, and I really appreciate you taking the time to translate it!

if you wanna ask anything else feel free! :D

[4everhyucks]

girl u r so valid for that bc SAME! I am a loyal taeil stan but this year markhyuck just FLEW up my bias list!!!! taeil is still my number one but omg if mark isn't stealing my heart rn 💔 he's so perfect 🥲

skhghk I'm glad you enjoyed it hehe I loved mammons chapter sm and it also made me realise I have a money kink. the same w jisungs fic, I was so self–conscious about it but at least I discovered I may be into werewolf/scenting play lolll, like...the licking??? shouldn't make me as excited as it does but oh my lord it's so hot 🥵

THE WAY I KNOW EXACTLY WHICH LIVE UR TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE OF THE HANDS LIKE ALL YOU NEEDED TO SAY WAS HANDS AND ID BE LIKE "YEAH IK WHICH ONE" fr I am so excited for that bc I am massively into threesomes lately. I am so ready for soft dom!jisung 💞🤧

also babe did u delete all ur old works bc ur masterlist is empty ☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

and I totally get what you mean about the longer fics, I just want to keep writing more too. writing for nct is so much fun, there's no limits just like nct themselves hehe. I'm wishing you all the best with your writings and I can't wait to read them!!!! I know they'll be amazing no matter how long or short they are!!!

aah the doyoung fic, I don't want to spoil too much but it's a reunited lovers au and enemies/exes to lovers (?). the backstory is that doyoung betrayed yn and her life was ruined bc of him, but she returns five years later for her best friends wedding and well... he still loves her but she doesn't know if she should forgive and forget, or expose him and ruin his life. and did I mention the best friend is his sister?? so yeah, lots of drama!!! I really need to get to writing so I can finish it!!!!

tbh all of nct dream is stealing my heart rn.. for a minute its jaemin, then jeno, THEN JISUNG, THEN CHENLE.. YOU GET IT. also, i read a werewolf!jisung oneshot by @loudstan and it was AMAZING i just keep going back to it.. AND YOUR 00LINE FIC TOO 😭 im afraid ill never be able to get out of this nct rabbit hole. idk how you always think of these amazing plots paired w the amazing smut 🤚🏻im so bad at writing 3somes tho.. hopefully it turns out as filthy as i want it to be. and omg the doyoung fic.. I GENUINELY CANT WAIT FOR IT!! I LOVE ENEMIES TO LOVERS TROPE. take your time and i hope it turns out the way u want it to be <3 ILY

right i forgot to add the link to my old mlist

actually i was thinking ab creating a new blog and that would be for my nct content, this could be my genshin one.. cause im starting to play the game again

[sellenite]

5, 13, 20, 34 for ask game ! 🙋🏼‍♀️

hello sweet anon! thank you so very much for the questions 🥲🫶

5. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have a few on my bed! My very favorite is a llama Squishmallow named Pierre 😭 I got him when I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and I used to hug him all the time while I slept. But, I will admit, he is more of a decoration now because I adopted a senior cat and she needs to sleep either directly next to me or on top of me :') so with her, I don't have much room for Pierre anymore and he is now the bed guardian who sleeps beside us 🫡

Pierre for reference:

13. Fears?

I have a pretty bad fear of heights; half of it is a conscious thing where I have the fear of falling, but a lot of it has just become an instinctual body reaction where if I'm up high and look down I immediately start to feel very dizzy or my legs get really weak 😭 I would say that is probably my worst fear. I also adore the ocean BUT sharks do scare me </3 I wish them no harm but I also would prefer not to see one in person, ever 😅

20. What/who do you miss?

Ooooh this is a deep question, and I feel that I could write a lot but I'm going to try my best to keep it brief. I just moved back to my hometown after living in Colorado for a few years (money + mental health reasons being the main contributing factors) and I have been deeply grieving the loss of my life there </3 I also separated from my partner/best friend of four years and it has been a difficult time for me; I do miss them very much. Other than that, I lost my childhood stuffed animal, Mr. Bunny, when I was 6 and I wish I got to grow old with him :')

34. What's your favorite flower?

I love so many different flowers so it's hard for me to pick just one, so I will give a couple :) I have always been very drawn to: carnations, lilies, azaleas, snapdragons, orchids and bleeding hearts! I just think they are all so beautiful, it's so hard for me to pick one :')

anyways, I am sorry these answers are all so lengthy, but thank you so much again! I hope you have an amazing day 🌟🫶

[gauravp01]

This is the first blog on Blogger

Sharing them here

#01

I was writing on Tumblr for more than a year and now I am back here. 

Maybe for more reach and pageviews😅😅 but these two apps have completely different feelings.

Tumblr makes me feel like a closed diary, although it is open to all. And Blogger feels like a social media post, that is visible to all, and that makes me more conscious...

I discussed all the drawbacks in the last blog and posted the link to my Tumblr as well.

It was 22 Feb, when I posted my last blog... Since then I was on a break, which is so frequent in my blogging🥲🤣

After a few daily blogs, there is a rest for a few days or even weeks...

In the meantime, my Birthday passed, then Holi came... A few more regional festivals were celebrated, and after all that, I joined the library again.

It was in July-Aug last year, when we were going to the library... After completion of the internship, I joined it again.

Oh... Yeah I forgot... In this meantime, our internship is also over.

I wanted to share my experience on Tumblr, and one or two days after farewell I also picked up my phone to write but I didn't... 

I will write my true experience here. I have mentioned multiple days there and wish I could upload them here again. I know that will take lot of time to paste them here and then publish.. but let's see if I can do this. Media will create a trouble too...

There is nothing too much interesting in my life to know, but I keep learning new things daily and try to tell a few observations I made that day. So I write a blog. You can follow me if you want to be a part of this journey.

Share this and take your family and friends too on this journey.

I have a dentist visit tomorrow, wo will try to finish studies before that and for that I will have to wake up early to reach library at the earliest...

So it's already midnight as usual, I should have a sleep now.

Hope, we will meet here on a daily basis.

See you tomorrow...

Good Night 🌃

[galvanizedfriend]

hi, yokan <3

I read that in Brazil there's a week-break because of carnival, therefore I hope you're finally having a bit of rest!

I was wondering if you could post an outtake with the klaroeve scene? from you comment I understood that there was more than that little scene in the latest chapter, and I would LOVE to read it!

sorry if I sound rude or pressuring, it's not my intention at all :(( I'm just Eve's third parent, I need more scenes with my babygirl being adorable 😭😭

I totally get why you don't put more of her in the main story. I ALWAYS say that babyplots are terrible due to a lot of factors, one of them being the constant present of a baby who basically does nothing (rightfully, since, yk, it went out of the whomb last year) and that adds nothing to the plot but just terrible fan service.

I think most people would agree with this, maybe even you!

HOWEVER, my little wolf/fish/mermaid is THE exception and I would love to see more of her, and, since u have a series dedicated to those fluffy moments that don't exactly fits with the plot, I really wish you will post something there 😭😭

sorry for bothering you, I hope you'll have a good day!

P.S.

totally off-topic but I also read some of your comments in Portuguese (AT LEAST I think it's Portuguese 😭) and I understood like 80% of it, privileges of being Italian ‼‼ so lol now you really can't escape me >:)

Yes, it's Carnaval right now! It's a nearly weak-long holiday, but it sadly ends on Wednesday. 😢 And I was technically on call yesterday, so 😂 But I am very much enjoying not doing anything 🤷‍♀️

About the baby thing, yes. 😂 I've been so lucky to get some passionate readers almost from the start with this fic and to have people who are still reading it a ton of years later, but I've also had to read some very mean things over the years that have stuck with me. It has made me extremely self-conscious about this story. I sometimes find myself almost apologizing for writing it, like I'm commiting some kind of crime against fandom or like I should be banned for inflicting this upon people for as long as I have. I wish I could be the kind of person who just doesn't care and remains blissfully unbothered, but I'm not. I'm not a naturally confident person in any way, and that kind of thing does get to me.

It's gotten better, of course. I care a lot less now than I used to, and the fic is not as popular as it was a few years ago either, so there's that But some of that stuff has just ingrained itself into my brain. Objectively I know this is stupid and I don't owe anybody anything, I don't have to apologize for writing a fanfiction for god's sake. There's room for everyone in fandom. I can have a corner to rewrite the show and have a magical Klaroline baby, fuck it. Who cares, you know? But it's almost stronger than me sometimes, I don't realize I'm doing it. I get this feeling that I need to be more critical otherwise people are going to think it's ridiculous and OOC and nobody's gonna want to read it anymore and etc etc. It's exhausting. And it's obviously nobody's fault, it's just me in my own head, but that's how it goes.

The scene you're talking about in particular. I had it written years ago. Literal years, maybe 2021 or early 2022. Some of my friends had even already read it a loooong time before the chapter was finished. And I was convinced that it was so cute and totally fine. Then as I wrapping up the chapter, I started getting this itch that it was actually ridiculous and the folks who had read it didn't say anything because they were being nice, they didn't want to hurt my feelings, and I had to get delete it. So I did. In all truth, I think the chapter is more polished like this. But then I removed a family scene and ended up writing smut that also had no place in the chapter, so. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rambly response. 🥲 I'll tell you this: I will read the deleted scene again and if I feel it's not dumpster-fire bad, I will post it here. But I need to check it first, because there is chance that it's not just my paranoid head telling me to get rid of the baby scenes and it really is just that bad. 😂

And as for the last part, yes, it's Portuguese. It's my native language. And it's so funny how Italian, Spanish and Portuguese can be so similar. I understand Spanish much better than Italian, but I do get some of it as well. Latin languages 🤜🤛 (except French, I don't understand French at all 😂)

[swirlysmile]

Hi! I've been thinking about this idea so if you like you can write about it🤗: reader ejects during a practice for the mission and has to spend the night at the infirmary just in case, worried trying to hide it hangman goes to see her and ends up staying (not dating yet, they go back and forth with silly fights but already have feelings for the other), reader tries to play it cool like it was nothing but maybe he tries to make her laugh to cheer her up if you want?

changed it up a little, forgive me 🥲 still stuck to the general idea, so hope you like it!!

word count: 2k

warnings; mentions of ejections, dangerous situations, some swearing, slightly OOC hangman

Eject, Eject

You wish you weren’t here right now, but you also felt incredibly blessed to not have a WSO with you. 

Right now, your plane was rapidly descending. Engine recovery measures were failing, and at this point you were too far in to give up. 

“Left engine failure,” you speak, trying to keep a level tone. You knew that if you panicked, everybody else would. 

Murmurs of instructions were being blasted in your ears through the comms, but none of them really hit until Maverick said “If you eject any later, you’ll die!” 

You’re already almost to 500 feet, making ejection more dangerous than it would have been if you’d listened the first time.

That cleared your conscience enough to make you notice what a low altitude you were at. 

The jet was screaming at you to pull up- and your co-workers were screaming at you to eject. 

You finally got it in your head that there was no saving this plane, so you reached down to grasp the handles and pulled upwards.  

You manage to open your eyes just in time to see the main event- your F-18 drop into the mountainside. The ringing in your ears tells you that it didn’t sound as cool as it looked.

You’re sure that your slightly limp body floating down from the sky missed the mark too.

The other pilots are celebrating from their huddle by the radio after Maverick confirms he saw a parachute.

You’re barely conscious after your landing. You're close enough to the ruins of your F-18 that the fumes are really starting to get to your head, and the wreckage doesn’t smell very good. 

Your vision goes a little dark, then you hear the sounds of a sweet sweet rescue helicopter. 

After that, you’re out.

There's sounds of beeping, a few monitors hooked up to you, and a whole lot of headache. Other than that, you feel great, Nothing broken, and hopefully nothing of note. 

“They’re keeping you in for the night to monitor you,” Maverick says and you can’t help but groan. 

They haven’t found anything wrong, what could change in a night? 

Apparently lots, but that’s besides the point.

You’re passed out again for maybe fifteen minutes, the click of the door opening awakening you. 

“Bagman,” you deadpan, and he gives a mock two finger salute. 

“Dammit, you’re not dead. Thought I was going to slide into the number one spot.” 

“Alive and well, thanks for your concern.” 

Hangman is happy that Coyote isn’t present, or he’d expect some ‘Oh, he was concerned alright’ comment, exposing him in his lies. He walks over to one of the chairs by the springy hospital bed and happily takes a seat.

“What’s new?” 

“These lovely tubes, the soothing beeps, and this military issued bed that’s actually a little comfortable.” 

He grins at that last one, knowing the pain of springy bunk beds all too well. Honestly though, he’s just glad you’re alive, and he’s a man on a mission, a mission to get you out of here as soon as possible. Maverick didn’t tell him much, so he had no idea how long you’d be in the hospital.

“I don’t know, it looks a little small,” 

“You say that as if the gymnastic mats we get are any bigger.” You scoff jokingly, and he grins again.

Normally, Hangman is all talk and it’s hard to enjoy being with someone like that. His mere -measly- little presence is enough to make you roll your eyes, especially when he says something that’s completely dicked. Now, he’s letting his ego deflate a little, and he’s convincing himself that it’s because he’s caught you in a moment of weakness. Hangman has already won, what more does he need to do? 

Coyote would disagree.

He’s shaking his head a little, eyes closed. 

“Ah man, you kill me. You really do.” 

“Finally.” 

“Still a dick, even on your deathbed.”

“We both know you’d be worse, Seresin.” 

He can’t even argue, because he most definitely would be worse. He’s imagining what he’d do in that situation, and he’d probably be happy that he beat a fellow pilot to inevitable demise. If he can win at anything, he’ll take it.

He’s smiling, that stupid cocky little smile that he always does, but maybe less arrogance written on his face than usual. It’s replaced by a bit of joy. 

“So, why’d you come?” You say, and his head starts to spin. He’s trying to think of excuses, but it doesn’t really work so he just settles on telling you the truth. “I don’t know, I was worried I guess.” 

You roll your eyes at that one. 

“I am honored that you in all your glory, Lieutenant, would worry about me.”

“You’re high ranking in my heart,” He says, and that makes your face go a little red. You blame it on the fact that you tried to hold the laughter in. He can’t help but laugh with you, partially at his own stupidity, and partially out of happiness. He did complete his ‘mission’ after all. You’re grinning, and clutching your chest while trying to regain your breath. 

“Feeling better already?” He questions

“Definitely. Just being around you has cured me of all my ailments.” 

“Laughter is the best medicine,” 

You’re expecting him to leave at any moment now- thinking he came in just to push your buttons a little bit to your surprise, he stays. He keeps talking to

you- and it’s one of those rare cases where you actually enjoy talking to Jake.

Who knew that all it would take to make Hangman a pleasant presence is a near death experience? 

“I was scared,” you admit, and Hangman’s eyes widened a little bit. You weren’t expecting to tell him that- you weren’t expecting to tell anyone that, but after a few hours of talking it just spilled out. It wasn’t unlike much of the other word vomit you’d shared. “It’d take one crazy son of a bitch not to be scared.” Jake says, and you smile meekly. It’s almost as if he’s admitting something himself. 

The hospital staff practically has to kick him out because now he’s just talking to you about nothing in particular, and the weirdest part about it is he can’t stop- maybe he’s setting the scene, telling you about how your friends were worried (but he was completely cool, calm, and collected) when your engine failed. Maybe he’s telling you about the celebration when Mav announced the sight of a parachute- or he’s just telling you about how the rest of training went. 

He’s being honest, telling you about how he felt throughout the day, but he leaves out his feelings on the engine malfunction. 

It feels oddly vulnerable and new to him, and he’s not sure he’ll ever tell anyone how scared and helpless he felt.

When he leaves though, he leaves you with a wave and a small smile, and your heart rate begins to go a little faster- the monitor exposing you.

“Hey hey hey! You about gave me a heart attack yesterday,” Phoenix says, greeting you in all of your un-hospitalized glory. You give her a grin as the rest of your fellow pilots come up to say hi. 

One person hangs back, Hangman. 

He’s thinking he already talked to you enough. He spent hours in the hospital, and he’s hoping that you aren’t going to say anything. He’d be in for some mocking ‘jokes’ from Bradshaw if that were the case. His little charade is ongoing until you pop up next to him and make an off handed comment about his appearance, something like “Couldn’t get enough of me, huh?” and then the teasing begins.  

He’s geared up, getting ready to fly the course for this super special mission when Coyote pops up next to him. Hangman is internally groaning. If anybody is going to say some ego-bruising, self-image shattering comment, it’s Coyote. Then he just stares at Jake- “Man, you’re whipped.” 

Jake stares back incredulously. Whipped isn’t a word he would even think could be used to describe him, but he stays silent.

“Man, I knew it!” He says, and he’s hitting Jake on the back. 

“No way in hell am I ‘whipped’” He says, adding in finger quotes for that extra bit of emphasis. 

“You can tell yourself that all you want, Hang. We all know it’s true, and it’s a matter of time before you realize. Before she realizes.” Rooster adds, walking into the room. 

“Shut up Bradshaw.” 

Hangman rolls his eyes, finishes zipping up his flight suit, and leaves. 

Maverick immediately knows something is up. Hangman’s usual instinct to fly fast hasn’t kicked in- he’s actually doing pretty well, as far as not “crashing” into walls goes. He’s about halfway through the course when it finally hits him, and he can’t control his flying as well as usual. His head is a bit cloudy, and he isn’t focusing on the track in his nav system. 

He almost goes headfirst into one of the canyon walls, narrowly avoiding it by pulling up into “SAM territory”. 

“Hangman, you’re dead.” He hears, and he curses. He knows that Maverick is going to scold him, and frankly, he isn’t in the mood. The worst part about it all though? Bradshaw did better than him.

“Why are you dead?” 

“I don’t know, sir.” He says, answering semi-honestly. He’s not going to expose himself to the rest of the class, but he also isn’t entirely sure why he ‘died’. 

“That’s not good enough. Why are you dead?” 

“I pulled up to avoid hitting a wall.”

“Why were you going to hit the wall in the first place?” 

“I don’t know, sir.” 

Maverick just sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose and stops talking. The room is eerily silent until he tells the next pilots to get moving, and says “Seresin, come here.” 

You can't make out what Maverick says, other than a whisper of “What’s got you so distracted, kid?” 

You’re watching them intently when Hangman finally sits back down, and Maverick turns his attention back to the simulated course on screen. 

When the last group of failures gets back, everyone’s gone in the air and Captain Mitchell is not having any of it. 

“I suggest all of you get over whatever is distracting you and learn to fly the damn course! Dismissed.”

When you leave base, your head is pounding. Getting yelled at is never fun, and in light of recent events, it makes it worse. Not that you’re not used to yelling- The Navy is a whole lot of yelling. You, logically, know Maverick means well, but damn that was harsh, especially since the spiel was directed at Hangman. 

He washes his face, and body, with cold water but the shower does little to ease his racing mind. Then, he gets the bright idea to get it out of his system in the form of a confession. 

You hear the pounding on the door of your military-issued housing and you groan. The door opens with a loud screech, and you’re surprised to find Jake Seresin standing outside, hair still wet. 

“Seresin, what can I do for you?” You say with a smile, and sure, if this had been 3 days earlier you definitely would have told home to go home, or get lost. The turn around shocked even you, all because of a hospital visit. 

“Hear me out on this one, I really like you a lot and I think that’s why I came to the hospital. I was really scared, and I tried not to tell you about how I felt but…” At this point, you’re zoned out. His lips keep moving, and you keep staring at them. “When are you going to kiss me?” He hears, cutting through his rant. It takes you a moment to realize you’ve said it aloud, but you definitely notice when Jake's eyes are wide open, glued to your lips too.

It’s the first time in a long time that he’s felt nervous about kissing someone, so he’s glad when you tug the collar of his shirt and pull him towards you. 

“Fina-fucking-ly” you say, and he laughs a little bit, chasing your lips again.