#with the same times and places and predictable but also so that it doesn't become boring

[gritandoengay]

I only come on this app like once every two or three months to reblog fan art of whatever wlw ship I'm currently hyper fixating on and then dip. I'm Old TM by fandom standards and have spent way too much time in the trenches of fandom discourse to have the energy for that again, I've done my time. I'm not here to write a lengthy essay defending Caitlyn and/or CaitVi - no, I'm here simply to share an observation:

Many of you Caitlyn and CaitVi haters are super predictable.

Y'all have been regurgitating the same talking points since fucking 2014. Might not be the same people (god I hope it's not), but it's the same. thing. every. time. Doesn't matter the genre of the show or what happens between the characters, y'all will trot out the same reheated arguments.

"Caitlyn is a fascist dictator and you are a N*zi if you support her"

Is just reheated "Lexa is a fascist dictator" and "Catra is a fascist dictator" and "Edelgard is a fascist dictator." I would argue that Caitlyn is actually the least morally grey of that group, but anyway, it's "curious" how all these properties have equally (or even more) morally grey male characters that get rehabed by the fandom while the wlw are irredeemable fascists that only N*zis would like.

"CaitVi is a toxic relationship, Caitlyn is a domestic abuser that physically beats up Vi all the time and/or manipulates her"

None of these points are supported at all by the text imo, but anyway, it's the same language used to describe Clexa and Catradora and god knows how many other wlw ships in shows with popular non-wlw ships that have very similar dynamics. Even compared to other popular Arcane ships, this accusation is super hypocritical given how TimeBomb beat the shit out of each other in season 1 and Jayce literally blasts a hole in Viktor's chest for plot reasons. I would also like to point out that the super harmful stereotype of lesbians being domestic abusers was born out of wildly misinterpreted statistics of domestic abuse in real life.

"JayVik and/or Timebomb is actually more queer than CaitVi"

Is just badly reheated pasta made from the same ingredients as "Makorra is actually more queer than Korrasami" and "Bellarke is actually more queer than Clexa" and "Hordtrapta is actually more queer than Catradora" and "Dimileth is actually more queer than Edeleth" and "Huntlow is actually more queer than Lumity" , the arguments are always just as nonsensical because there's just flat out no such thing as a same sex ship being "less queer" than any other ship.

CaitVi literally fuck, on screen, in a sex scene that has literally won a god damn award and went on to become the most captured moment in all of godman Netflix. Regardless of your opinion on the ship, that visibility is important. The fact that a whole theater full of people started screaming as loudly as a jet engine with executives from Riot to hear it all is important.

The final scene of the show is literally them snuggling in front of the fire place and promising to always be together. That's gay as fuck. So, stop embarrassing yourself with this regurgitated "X canon wlw ship isn't as queer as -" nonsense, which btw, is just an extension of real life same sex relationships between women not being taken seriously because society overall still centers men in romance and can't fathom a romantic relationship not involving a man. Y'all know you can't even debate me on this in fandom spaces because all I have to do is point at the number of mlm and f/m fics on ao3 vs the crumbs that big fandoms give wlw ships.

Now on to the excuses and disclaimers that are trotted out.

"I can't be misogynistic I'm a woman-" Yes, yes you can. If you think that only conservative women can suffer from internalized misogyny, boy do I have years of working in leftist organizing spaces to dispel that notion. If you think that fandom spaces are somehow immune to misogyny- lol. Lmao. See the above point about mlm and f/m fics on ao3.

"I can't be lesbophobic/biphobic I'm literally queer -" Yes, yes you can. Both intersect with misogyny, and see the above point about misogyny. You can be a biphobic lesbian, you can be a lesbophobic bisexual, you can even be a biphobic bisexual and a lesbophobic lesbian. Wild, I know, thank the cis- heteropatriarchy.

"I can't be racist because I'm a POC -" Yes, yes you absolutely fucking can. I also have other news for you - despite how much some of you fuckers want to pretend Caitlyn isn't East Asian because of racist assumptions of what East Asians should look like and/or be depicted like in media, she is, and she's important rep, especially in a time when anti-East Asian (and Asian in general) bigotry has been rising in Western countries. No amount of "ACAB BLM Free Palestine" tags in your profile will make you immune from being racist. This leads me to a related point -

Y'all love to scream about wanting more rep with sapphic woc, but then when that rep comes, you tear it down or center other ships. Korrasami is toxic, CaitVi is toxic, Tanthamore is boring, Lumity is fine but I prefer Huntlow, etc.

Furthermore, the only, and I mean only time that black sapphic characters will be mentioned will be to prop them up as good rep vs whatever wlw you hate, but then when I go to those black sapphic character's/ship's Tumblr and ao3 tags, nothing! It's a ghost town! Those characters get paid dust by both wlw fandoms and the people using them as props to hate on other wlw characters! This is definitely a call out to wlw fandoms too btw, I have yet to see a ship with a black sapphic character explode in popularity, and that's on us too.

So, what is the purpose of this rant? Well, I know that most people that read it will dig in and further entrench themselves in their hatred of Caitlyn and CaitVi, but I'm hoping that at least one person genuinely re-examines that hatred and where it might be coming from. You don't have to like Caitlyn or CaitVi, you can criticize the ship and the characters. But if your criticisms and hatred are almost beat for beat the same accusations that have been thrown at wlw ships in even wildly different shows and contexts, and/or you excuse male characters and non-wlw ships with similar dynamics, then it's time to do some soul searching.

Anyway, this has already been long enough. I'm doing policy advocacy with local LGBTQ organizations and will go back to working on that. Whatever your opinions of Caitlyn and CaitVi are, there are fascists out there in the real world to fight.

[oh-no-bummer]

Why must schedule change could it not always remain the same while also continue to stimulate me intellectually

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

i am sick rn ;((((( so how about pure vanilla and shadow milk (separately) taking care of a sick reader? i need my silly lil guys doing their best (or worst LMAO) to take care of their beloved -galaxy

Here you go! Hope you feel better soon :(

.....

Pure Vanilla

As a healer, it's only natural that he's the first cookie you called when you started feeling under the weather.

You're certain that you caught a cold from the snowy mountains of Dark Cacao Kingdom while accompanying him to a meeting a few days ago, as your doughy body hasn't stopped shaking since your return despite all attempts to warm yourself up.

Today, you woke up feeling achy all over, barely able to finish your tasks around the kingdom without becoming dizzy or getting sudden chills.

So you've put on bedrest until you feel well, asking one of the bluebirds to send PV a message.

Within the hour, he shows up at your place, bringing some good natural remedies to your bedside.

He also brought some hot jelly soup for when/if you feel like you could eat something light.

While his healing magic mainly extends to injuries, it's able to relieve the aches that plagued your dough.

But he discourages you from jumping up right away, as it took time to work.

Even though you think he's worrying too much over your simple cold, PV admits that he felt partially responsible for getting you sick because he asked you to attend the meeting in the first place.

You tell him that's not true, as you wanted to go and he couldn't have possibly predicted the weather that day. You promise him that you'll recover in no time, and you thank him for being here.

That cheers him up, as he promises to stay with you until you're well enough to move around, assuring you that whatever tasks you had could wait.

Shadow Milk

Despite being an inhabitant of Beast Yeast for years, you weren't familiar with the weather patterns within the Land of Spice...

Until Shadow Milk dragged you into his fellow Beast's domain at the peak of a spice storm one day.

He only wanted to annoy Burning Spice, although after you kept sneezing nonstop during their banter and being the one who annoyed him instead, the jester pouted and decided to warp back to his Spire with you.

Unfortunately, the storm made you terribly sick, with your eyes constantly burning and your throat feeling scratchy.

Shadow Milk only realizes something MIGHT be wrong with you when you refused to come out of your chambers that evening.

He invites himself inside and sees the sorry state you're in, laying in bed with spice particles in your dough and your toppings looking like they're gonna melt at any moment.

He doesn't understand why you're pouting and blaming him for dragging you out into that storm.

He even starts whining like "so you hate me now???? you want me to leave??????"

When you deny that and tell him he can stay, he's suddenly all smiles like "hehe I was gonna stay whether you wanted me to or not, doll. You're gonna have to depend on me now! But then again....you always have, and you always will~"

Sinister undertones aside, he's actually genuinely concerned for your health, taking care of you in-between his duties within the Spire.

He shapeshifts into a doctor/nurse persona, looking up cures for spice-related sicknesses and speaking in medical jargon the whole time he's with you.

He'd gather natural remedies and medicines out in the town no problem, demanding them from every vendor/storekeeper--and of course they listen.

After all, those same folks would gladly give him their left arm in exchange for a comforting lie.

You didn't mind playing the patient role, and you don't question how or where he got all those remedies, as you recover pretty quickly.

He definitely wouldn't dote on Black Sapphire or Candy Apple like this if they ever got sick, so you considered yourself very lucky.

[lisdens]

i fear some people aren't ready to face the fact that at some point vi had to let go of her parentified-child role because it would also mean understanding that jinx is an adult who makes her own choices and doesn't need protection the same way she needed back when they were kids. vi says so herself ('why did you come get me? you don't actually need my help, you haven't for a long time').

everyone who expected vi to become some sort of leader for zaun didn't understand that the reason she fought so hard in her youth for her family was because what she truly craved for was safety for herself and her loved ones. it's the whole reason she has that conversation with vander back in episode 2 of season 1.

vi going after jinx when caitlyn opens the cell would only reinforce the idea that vi has to step into the role of caregiver/protector again. vi isn't jinx's mom, she's her sister, and she has her own battle against her internal demons.

in fact, she spirals down very quickly once locked inside the cell, which is later reflected when caitlyn finds her; she's certain she screwed up again and she believes she's lost both jinx and caitlyn, and she knows it happened because vi was being herself, by doing something she wouldn't have done during her act1 self.

her fallout with caitlyn happened because caitlyn couldn't accept who vi truly is, so how can vi expect caitlyn to be okay with what she's done, when that was the reason they grew apart in the first place?

because caitlyn chooses vi, she prioritizes her over her revenge. caitlyn lets go of it because she loves vi for who she is, and not despite it.

jinx and vi love each other unconditionally, even if they don't understand each other entirely ('i didn't get to do much of this with my sister, she was more into hitting things'), so how could anyone outside of her family love vi, while simultaneously understanding her?

vi probably just went through ten different scenarios of how caitlyn is going to reject her for it, for showing who she is, and who she's always been.

and what does caitlyn do in response?

by this point caitlyn doesn't believe vi has forgiven her, so the whole 'you've grown a bit predictable' isn't a pickup line to get in her pants.

this is caitlyn's attempt at cracking a joke.

vi's worries are met with a dumb phrase that's meant to cheer her up, the same way vi did back in episode 1 ('thought for sure you were gonna get yourself killed').

she spiraled down believing she had lost everyone, and caitlyn proves her wrong with an easy smile and a reassurance; 'this is who you are, i know it, watch me be more than okay with it'.

this, for vi, must feel so, so freeing.

this is the one thing she's been craving for her whole life; the feeling of safety. i'm me, and i'm safe to exist that way in here.

she spent her entire childhood fighting to provide that stability for her family because she was given no other choice but to step into that role, she pushed her own needs aside to make sure everyone else was okay. and now, her sister is an adult who has survived without vi's protection, who has accomplished a lot of things without her big sister by her side.

now it's vi's turn to crave safety, it's vi's turn to choose and let someone else make her feel safe and reassured.

vi's not a symbol of zaun, that's what characters like sevika and ekko exist for; neither of them were pressured to step in and take that role, they fight for their city because they chose to and because they want to (and, if i might add, they're very good at it!).

she's just a girl who went through some really fucked up things in life and only ever wished for a little stability.

and she finds that in caitlyn, so she chooses it.

[howtotrainabraincell]

Head Cannon bc I can - What kinds affectionate the different assassins would be - Part 1

Ezio Auditore da Firenze - The Lover of Love. Family man very affectionate/grew up in a loving closely knit family/family oriented/notices little things/sweetheart with a side of spice/he reminds me of the hot tamale candy lol spicy AND sweet at the same time bc he can be a cinnamon roll one second and then become the oven that you PUT the cinnamon roll IN. He seems like he would play the lute for you the few chords that he learned when he was younger that is, and he MIGHT sing but don't count on it haha. Man wrote some real nice letters when he was older so I bet he would try his hand at love letters no matter which Ezio you prefer, and they would be sweet. Loves to give hand kisses whether they be sweet or steamy. Often comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you in a hug, and imo LOVES it when you rake your fingers through his hair gently scratching his scalp. Would instantly be down bad for someone who cooks Italian food for him because it makes him feel loved and cared for.

Bayek of Siwa - The Kind Lover. Proud affection/"look at how awesome my partner is I worship the ground they walk on"/offers an arm for escort/is not afraid to hold your hand/great at letting people know where they stand and setting boundaries so no one will be confused about who he has feelings for. Very attentive and notices the little things/can kick ass and then some but is so gentle and sweet with the one he loves (no one touches a hair on their head or disturbs the air around them or so help him Anubis...) /great at communicating and is not afraid to talk about feelings. Have a feeling that he enjoys fresh baked bread and anything sweet he can get his hands on, and also loves to share them with his love. NO ONE can tell me that he doesn't take good care of the person he loves because man is a sweetheart protector and dang good provider. Forehead kisses are a big thing with him, where he gently cradles your head to do so, and lots of eye contact when he tells you that he loves you.

Edward Kenway - The Cheeky Pirate. sexual tension/handsy and cheeky but will stop if you're uncomfy/he knows when to behave/won't hesitate to smooch you to the ninth realm and back if someone looks at you like they want you/ have a feeling that he is BIG TIME into holding his partner in front of him at the wheel and steering the Jackdaw (letting them drive but not really)/spoils his loved one rotten any chance he gets (even if it is stolen lol)/will probably make you his co-co-captain alongside Adewale.

Ratonhnhake:ton/Connor Kenway- The Respectful Lover. Not really one for PDA but you'll know that you're loved by him/does gush about you to people from his tribe and everyone at the Homestead knows he's DOWN BAAADD (the tribe elders have predicted a wedding date lol bc they know that he'll marry you. Definitely teaches self-defense and fall in love 5,000 times harder if they made an attempt to learn Kanien'keha/if they love animals and nature, he again will worship the air they breathe. If you cook for him especially recipes from his tribe, he'll probably get emotional because they remind him of home, and he would be head over heels in love with someone who was open to learning about where he comes from and the ways of his people. If you defend him when someone is rude to him (despite being well able to defend himself as we all know) he will feel protected and loved, which he's rarely felt in his life since his mother.

Jacob Ethan Frye - The Sweetheart. Makes his partner feel valued ESPECIALLY as a woman because he's not a typical 19th century man who's all "women's place is in the home having babies and cooking and cleaning". He WILL LISTEN TO YOU and also put great faith in your opinion/cheeky and very flirtatious/can get flustered if partner matches his energy though lol/ something tells me this man LOVES and is WHIPPED for domesticity he's had a crazy, dangerous life with too many near death experiences to count at only 21 years old and while he would still be the chaotic cinnamon roll you fell in love with the Rooks and fight club and all he would love to come home to peace and calmness. If you cook/bake for him he will literally turn into a bottomless pit he LOVES IT though it will sometimes start sibling squabbles between him and his older sister because she loves your cooking too haha. Also teaches self-defense but will get flirty with you real quick so it's probably best to learn from Evie lol. VERY genuine and he means every loving word he says and every touch he gives. Protective of you and will throw hands if someone disrespects you. He also loves to make you laugh and tell.me.WHY I am so dang sure that he LOVES it when you play with his hair especially if you scratch your fingers lightly against his jaw and the scratchy whiskers he has there.

Desmond Miles - The Lonely One. Proud as well/total gentleman with sexy swagger lol/loves to take you out on his motorcycle/loves it when you come visit him at work because he'll be doing his job and look over to see you which makes him instantly happy/TOTALLY shows off his bartending skills and winks at you while doing it being a total flirt/ love language without a doubt is quality time and physical touch. Man is VERY affectionate imo because he's touched starved and most likely lonely (even with the Animus he still wants you because you comfort him). If you defend him from Shaun when he's being annoying or pushing him too much or clap back at the male half of his DNA, he will literally love you forever. Man is FERAL for a significant other that will defend him and care for him the way he wasn't all those years alone.

Altair Ibn La'Ahad - The Reserved Soldier...who's Smitten. Doesn't do PDA most that might happen is an arm offered for an escort or a hand on the waist to push you behind him/will kiss you on the cheek before he goes off on missions the same way he does the rest of the members of the Brotherhood (even if you're not part of it) while saying to you in Arabic "Safety and Peace my darling". Shows affection by smirking at you when you're flustered and acting as your intimidating AF bodyguard/in private tho...he's very amorous and loves having physical contact with his partner. Totally the type to lie there and rest with them or lazily kiss and hug. Not averse to showing that he loves you in public or declaring his love because he does love you very much, he just wants to protect your honor and avoid anyone (read: MALIK) heckling/harassing the both of you about being lovers. You are for his eyes and his eyes only whether it be hand holding, kissing, or various other things that he often thinks about...

Arno Victor Dorian - The Hopeless Romantic. Very affectionate also from being lonely and touch starved/not afraid to show his love for you in public. He DEFINITELY writes you love letters that are just - SIGH. He has a way with words and just pours everything into the letters he writes you, what he loves about you and why, how much you mean to him, how he would do anything for you. He's a hopeless romantic and when he falls in love he falls HARD and gives the one he loves everything (cue traumatic flashbacks of a certain ex-now deceased red haired lover of his). I think he would be SO in love with someone who noticed the little things about him and took care of those things. If he's sleep deprived? You let him sleep in and fix him breakfast in bed. If he's lonely while working? You sit with him wherever he is and read/ write/look out the window and watch Paris silently comforting him with just your presence. If he forgets to eat? You fixing him something delicious to eat and bringing it to him giving him a kiss and words of encouragement. Bringing him tea/water/coffee/hot chocolate while he's working. Would definitely spoil you with treats from the Cafe and if you work there, he'll drop by every so often to give you a sweet quick kiss. I think he would also show affection by helping you get ready in the morning and take this the way you wish...but he's really good with corset laces, buttons, and layers upon layers of fabric. He's thoughtful and sweet taking time to think about you (even though he barely thinks about himself). Will legit protect you with his life he refuses to lose you and will do anything to keep you safe. He loves to have slow relaxing days with you to have a moment away from his normally stressful life. You pulling him away from his work for distraction or holding him when the Council annoys him is always welcome. You will definitely know that he loves you with everything that he has.

[azzandra]

I have some thoughts I'm trying to articulate, but, I've been reading a lot of transmigration stories lately, so I couldn't help noticing, eventually, how a lot of them flinch away from the full implications of transmigration sometimes.

This tends to happen in one of two ways: either the transmigrator is proven to be, in some way, the original body's owner (usually through some reincarnation and/or regression combo), or the original goods is given some kind of justice by the transmigrator because the transmigrator is capable of doing things that the original goods can't. In villain transmigration stories, there's sometimes the added twist that the original goods wasn't *that* villainous, or they were merely a victim of circumstance or something.

I think this is because otherwise, well, wouldn't that just be too sad? Isn't it depressing to think that someone's body was taken over and their life hijacked and they just, what, didn't matter? I'm sure a lot of people would think so. I'm sure on some emotional level, for a lot of people, that just doesn't feel right.

But in SVSSS, it doesn't play out like that. MXTX doesn't flinch when she lays out Shen Qingqiu's fate. She doesn't shy away from making Shen Jiu a true villain (yes, he really was as rancid as PIDW implied, there was no surprise reveal, he wasn't 'secretly good', he was just... a regular child abuser).

But if he was just a villain, maybe that would also please some people's sense of justice, and they would think 'good, he deserved to be erased from existence'. So she also makes him a victim of circumstance, someone who suffered in ways that an audience would sympathize with, someone who actually does have some redeemable traits, but was never given the support to actually become a better person.

This leads to a kind of equilibrium of dissatisfaction that I think may leave a lot of the audience frustrated. Shen Jiu was never going to redeem himself on his own, but at the same time, he *also* wasn't given the opportunity in the first place. Nobody is pleased, just like Airplane predicted when he conceived the character's backstory.

And Yue Qingyuan's role in the story is to deny the audience the opportunity to look away from The Implications. Shen Jiu's disappearance was felt as a loss for at least one person. You can't argue 'no harm done' by Shen Yuan's transmigration into this body, because to at least one person, Shen Jiu's disappearance is a monumental harm. And that is, maybe, perhaps, the point. This is how MXTX deconstructs this trope.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD THE NEW TGS PAGE IS MAKING MY BRAIN GO SO FAST I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

First off, I love how violent it is. Obviously it's tonally appropriate, but it also seems like a logical escalation from the other instances of the transformation we've seen. I'm gonna rant about it for a minute so body horror warning I guess? I don't know what other category a guy vomiting green science goop would fall into.

Exhibit A:

From the very first change, it's always been very intense.

He describes it as deeply unpleasant and painful, because his bones are literally changing, and by the end of it he's fallen to the floor.

Pretty expected for your first time through an extremely physically traumatic event. But he never seems to get used to it.

Exhibit B:

This transformation takes place two years after the first one. I'm sure a lot of this is the way it is because this moment is very dramatic and it needs to land that way, but the in-world logic is far more interesting to me. His dropping the flask and collapsing implies that even after this whole thing has become routine, his body still isn't used to it. Obviously your bones changing on a dime is never gonna be easy to go through, but even after two years there seems to be almost no acclimation. He probably can't even accurately predict when the pain will start, otherwise he would've set the flask down earlier.

But both of these transformations seem somewhat predictable. It starts inside of his mouth and eyes and spills out, working from the inside outward. My guess is that that is the stabilizing effect of the portion. Because once he starts to transform without it as a catalyst...

Exhibits C, D, and E:

The process starts to break down. It starts the same way it always did, but by the third or fourth switch he starts producing a lot more science goop (Goop? Slime? Bile? Some kinda.... Green shit. What the fuck is this shit), but with less physical change. It starts getting onto his clothes, and it seems a lot more all- encompassing than it did before. Early on the goop seems incidental. The goop and the pain are both byproducts of the potion. But at this point he's practically choking on the stuff, it's not just an ambient effect, it's something being violently purged from his system. Until we get to this point- the first self-inflicted shift without the use of the potion.

Exhibit F:

It's completely out of control. Not only is it full-force Exorcist style exploding from his mouth, it looks like it's coming out of his skin. These two panels, to me, imply that the stuff is sweating out of his skin in quantities that are heavy enough to soak through his hair. His expression can be interpreted a few different ways- general agony, screaming, ect. - but when I imagine what this scene would sound like I think there's too much blockage for him to be screaming. The way he folds over, his wide eyes, the amount of goop, I'm willing to bet that his expression is him desperately trying to breathe.

Anyways. I genuinely love this stuff. This is exactly my type of horror. The kind that doesn't seem like straight up horror until you give it a bit of thought. Chef's kiss. Delicious. Finally some good fucking food

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

/ book 7 spoilers

*politely grabs you by your shoulders* UEUEUEUJQKXNkxnsnnanzndnsmsmfmdmsmdm

hello... sorry... Leona rant... the guys theorizing that Kifaji stops Leona in his dream bc deeply he'd wish for someone to stop him... i think im going to cry. i wonder if him being such a bad king in his dream has to do with his own feelings- meaning he doesn't believe he'd be a good king? Idia explained that maybe Leona purposefully chose his dream to play out in a more realistic way, which would mean having consequences and such... even if it would be painful, he still went with it...

I think you had a post about this iirc, but this rlly pushes me to further believe that what Leona craves is valid recognition— people recognizing him for who he is and what he does, not idolizing him, just valuing him genuinely. I think there in reality he craves more that than the "king" title specifically— that's why the scene where Jack says that "he's not your (the shadows) king, he's our DORM LEADER" felt so special to me, bc Jack is doing exactly that. he's valuing him for being his dorm leader, a title Leona earned for himself. I think that ultimately that'd be more valuable for him than the king title itself, since one "is born" to fulfill that goal (and the whole reason he isn't king is because he was born second, again, things out of his control—) I think that's why this dream Leona isn't satisfied w having become king, bc at the end of the day he only got there bc Falena/Cheka died here. Some people theorize he pulled Scar tactics in the dream, but regardless of that, I don't think the "nature" of the position itself would satisfy his need to be seen, to be genuinely valued. BC WHAT HE CRAVES IS NOT *JUST* TO BE KING, IT'S TO BE RESPECTED FOR THE THINGS HE ACCOMPLISHED... also more proof that if he wants to help out in his country he needs to do it alongside Falena's ideals, bc apparently the only good thing his reign brought in his dream was... no more inflation 😭😭😭 which is good (guy who lives somewhere with too much inflation), but I mean... I think I'd prefer still having nature 😭😭😭

ALSO... and the way he SACRIFICES HIMSELF for Ruggie... AND THROWS HIMSELF TO THE DARKNESS... also his confrontation w his overblot feels much more... depressing? than the others'? ☹️ And and and... The line about him deciding the place he'll live in... ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ I'm in tears. Pls help.

and at the end he DID know he was dreaming, and he also suspected it before being 100% sure. so I guess our prediction was kind of right 😭

also UHM. THE OUTFIT??? AHHH URNWKDNFKSNSKSKKDKjfjwnnzdn sorry it's. the least important thing of what I wanted to say but he lOOKS SO PERFECT AHHH

[My full thoughts on the book 7 part 11 Leona update here!]

*is grabbed out of nowhere* 🧍‍♂️

NO BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING... dream!Kifaji is the only NPC/darkness in the dreams that didn't aggro and attack us 😭 In fact, he actively protects us and begs Leona to "wake up", continuously acting as the voice of reason the entire time... AND THEN SMILING AT THE END AND PRAISING "HIS KING" WHEN LEONA FINALLY FULLY WAKES UP... I feel like that definitely is not a happy coincidence. Deep down... some part of Leona's subconscious might have realized something was wrong, and maybe that manifested as Kifaji, the one person in his memories that could stand up to him. Not just because Kifaji is a stubborn old guy (although he is), not because he seems to be a competent mage, but because he must have been Leona's one and only friend and guardian growing up in the palace where the servants always shit talked him and compared him to his older brother. He raised Leona. He played with Leona. He encouraged Leona when his prince didn't believe in himself. He tried so hard to keep Leona from straying. He sees the goodness in Leona. He knows how intelligent Leona can be and how this can save their country. It makes total sense that Kifaji would be the form Leona's conscience assumes.

I feel like dream!Kifaji could also represent... that last shred of hope that Leona has for himself 💀 As late as book 6 of the main story, Leona states that Jamil isn't like him, hinting that while he believes Jamil has the capacity to change and be a better person, he doesn't have that same faith for himself. AND MAN, THAT SHIT WAS HEARTBREAKING OTL Then, entering his dream in book 7, we see just how deep that despair truly runs. Malleus promised everyone happy dreams, didn't he? And Leona has theoretically been given everything he has supposedly ever wanted. The crown, his kingdom, the power to enact all of the policies and laws he believes would benefit his people, wealth for his country, etc. But that has bled the country of its resources, made the people resent him--and he's still left bitter and unfulfilled, alone in the palace. This isn't what happiness truly looks like, but it sadly might be what Leona believes Sunset Savanna is destined for if he's left in charge of it. (Idia likens the dream to a sandbox game, and Leona, being the owner of it, decided to play it "realistically".) He can only become king if the rest of his family dies or goes missing. (This is even more morbid if you believe the headcanon that Leona committed fratricide and murdered/convinced Cheka to run away.) He'll achieve his goals, but at the cost of isolating himself and making himself a pariah. He and his people will starve to death. Everything he touches will crumble into sand. That's all he and his unique magic are good for, anyway. Destroying things, never creating or building them. AND HE STILL CONTINUES TO EXIST IN THIS WASTELAND, ACTING LIKE HE'S IN THE RIGHT AND LIVING IN DENIAL THAT ANY OF THIS IS HIS FAULT... while Kifaji, his conscience, his hope, is right there trying to get him to see reason.

Leona's dream was such a shock to see right after Jack and Ruggie's. The contrast between how he views himself and his rule vs how his dorm members see him and his rule is like NIGHT AND DAY. You got Jack here thinking of Leona as an upstanding and honorable dorm leader and team captain and Ruggie who dreams of a Leona who graduates and betters the lives of the entire country and the less fortunate by building schools and establishing magift/spelldrive clubs (which enhance Sunset Savanna's soft power). Then you have... whatever hellscape Leona has conjured up 😭 It's so sad that Leona pictured RUGGIE as being one of his most devoted haters too. Yeah, Ruggie sometimes complains about Leona running him ragged and how rich people have it easy compared to him, but Ruggie has never expressed this level of vitriol towards Leona before... yet in his own darn dream, Leona believes Ruggie would HATE him and try to overthrow him when that couldn’t be further from the truth. In Ruggie’s dream, he hasn’t even MET Leona before but still looks up to him for what he has accomplished and done to help the poor and the downtrodded 😭

I have mentioned before that I don't believe Leona needs to become an actual king in order to be happy (that post here!), and I think this most recent update proved my point. Jack points it out to us (in case we didn't already put together) that Leona is still miserable in spite of being gifted the crown and kingdom. Leona is still not satisfied. Even if he becomes king, he won't be satisfied. Even if he obtains everything he wants, he won't feel fulfilled. Never, ever, ever. AND THAT MAKES SENSE, because what Leona REALLY wanted all along wasn't the crown but the acknowledgement of his skills and talents... "proof" of his worth as an individual. I feel like the word "king" is thrown around a lot in regards to Leona, both in fandom and within his own dorm (Ruggie, Jack, etc. refer to him as their "king" quite often). However, it's not "king" that holds weight to Leona... it's everything that comes associated with the title. Respect, validation, love. These are all the things Leona got so little of as a child, which is why he fixates on them now. He has even expressed that he doesn't value the title of king if you didn't earn that title to begin with, which just goes to show that he wants to be able to prove himself and be seen for it. AND THE SAVANACLAW STUDENTS DO, AAAAAAAHHHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHhHhhhHhhhhh OTL JUST LIKE JACK SAID, HE'S THEIR DORM LEADER...

As dark as Leona's dream was, I appreciate it a lot for its realistic depiction of... Leona's worse tendencies... along with a potential future under his command. I often see people claiming that Leona would be a far better ruler for Sunset Savanna than Falena is. And to that, well... I'd say look at Leona's dream and some of the points brought up in it. I don't think his rule would be as terrible as what we see in the dream, HOWEVER. The dream mentions many shortcomings of Leona as a ruler, such as disregarding traditions and refusing to listen to advisors and input from the people. This would naturally make him unpopular with the country he serves, and it certainly doesn't help that he is not amicable either. These are only a few points I brought up in my extensive post comparing Leona and Falena's ruling styles, which I would highly recommend reading. I want to stress that I am in no way saying Leona would be a bad ruler. I believe that he and Falena compensate for each other's weaknesses. This is why I feel that the best solution isn't a blanket "X brother would be better than Y brother!", but rather that they should work as a team and make the best use of each other's strengths.

adfaiifvifiaef efoubfia LEONA SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR RUGGIE I PRETTY MUCH SAW COMING 😭 Bro had to do something to make up for almost sanding him in book 2...

I really glossed over Leona's big confrontation with his Phantom in my initial reaction post, so I'd like to take the time to comment more on it here. A lot of what Leona tells his Phantom I felt was also the kind of advice he gave Jamil in book 6 (which only further reinforces the idea that he had hope for Jamil but not for himself). He dislikes people who complain about their situation but do nothing to change the circumstances... ALL TRUE OF BOTH HIM AND JAMIL. I think what makes Leona’s confrontation so different from the others we’ve seen so far is that while the others are more triumphant/telling the Phantoms how they’ve grown… Leona’s is sort of resigned? Like he still sees his negative traits (his pride, his underhandedness, etc.) and talks about how he has changed as a person but he also admits that this is his fault, that this bitterness and desire to be king will always remain will him. That’s fine—because Leona tells that darkness within himself that he’ll accept it too. (Jack does the same; his senpai are pretty awful but he chooses to accept them as they are.) I really loved that Leona swore to himself he’ll find his own throne and country… “Someday, for sure…!” It feels so hopeful after all that depressing stuff 😢 Reclaiming bis autonomy… Weh…………

asdbihabidbasdsa I still wish they had done a little more with Leona “knowing” it was a dream... Maybe making that "Kifaji is that part of Leona" more obvious or clearly stated because I feel like it could sail over people's heads? It might have also been interesting to see the blot try to suppress him like he's a feral beast that has to be kept under control 😔

DB SDABILASFIADFIAF tHAT DFUCKIBG SJHFBLADAD KING!L*ONa OUTFIT OTL TRHIS SI WHAT A MAN IN A SUIT IWiTH A HLAF CAPE THING AND SLICKED BACK HAIR DOES TO MEDFSKNLABIDBFIABIPEAFFQEIPYIBEUOF8TQEVOpfSBPsnjg 26871t9mg9qepgpeqomp9qvda bipivpada iegi THE EyE LOOK TOO ASDBLABSDSFIAFDI IT'S SCO CUn T Y AKJFHLBADGLBIHAGEIHGABIADGILBHWHICH IS REALLY WEIR FOR ME TO SAY ECUASE I USUALYL THINK THESE KINDS O EYE LOOKS ARE WAY TOO MUCH... . . ..... . . ........ . . .. . AnD TGE ExPOSED fOREHEADvv???!?!!!!!? HELLO ???!!!!!’mmcnNCCCVvV,cvvv???!!!!’nxhVahahshjwhzttTyqhwiau iTm anBEHGinG TO BE k!ssrd TOYcHEDF 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

THIS RICH BITCH IS OVER HERE IN A FANCY SU i TS 4 GOLD NECKLACES AND 3 RINGS WHILE HIS PEOPLE STARVE??????? DAMN NO WONDER WHY THEY WANNA EAT TH E RICH.

Side note: a friend pointed out that Leona's coat is basically a reused Octavinelle dorm uniform asset and, after checking... yeah, it basically is 😭 NOT THAT THERE'S ANYHTING WRONG WIH THAT, I just find it ironic because (in my own pseudo-lore) it reads like him trying so hard to be like J word and get my attention 💀💀💀 I AM AFRAID HE ATE AND LEFT NOC RUBMSN....

[saphig-iawn]

Springtime with Miss Saphi

Hello darlings!

I have had a quite a nice little break, and its given me time to think about how I want to progress as everyone's Welsh hypnotic witch. Below the cut is a big ol' post about how I do what I do. I will talk about my sessions, my writing, and my audio files. If you're interested then click on and keep reading. If not, and you're just happy to see I'm back, then thank you so much for the support and love.

💝

So, for the darlings who are still here, I've broken things down into 4 or so chunks that I feel tend to each part of what I do as a kinky creative. So, first up:

Sessions

Sessions are one of the main ways I keep my little business running. These are remaining largely the same, but I want to take this opportunity to explain a little about how they work, and what I'm doing to change them.

The prices aren't changing at this point in time, even though a lot of people have said that I am undercharging quite a lot. There is one big thing that is in the way of me doing so which is that, times are really tough right now. People don't have as much money to spend as they wish and things that felt safe and predictable are now not. With this being my only income too, I know how it can be when you feel like you have to choose between the things you enjoy and the worry and anxiety that comes with making a purchase that doesn't live up to what you wanted. I would feel so tremendously guilty charging more because of how things are right now, and so I'm finding ways for people to enjoy what I make in more accessible ways that also still support me (more on that later).

Firstly, I am remaking my intake form. I feel I need to do more to set expectations within it. I am a hypnotist, first and foremost, and a domme second if the scene or session permits. Between the sessions, I am not a Domme. I tried to be, and it began to make me quite sick. It would also be unsafe. I have a lot going on (as you'll see reading further along) and I would not be able to devote the attention needed to make sure that the domme side of things was done safely. Ultimately, the Miss Saphi you see in my posts and my writing and my audio and my sessions is going to remain in the content I make.

Secondly, what actually are my sessions about? In basic terms, you come to me, we negotiate the content of the session/scene, figure out boundaries, then we set out a date and time. The intro session is very much like this too, but a little more structured and strict in its content. I don't tolerate "I have no limits" or "Do anything to me" kinds of play partners. Much like hypnosis, everything we do is collaborative, even if I am the one leading the scene. It is a give and a take.

What they are not is me becoming more than a hypnotist in a few capacities. As I said above, I'm not a capital D domme, so what we do is in our sessions and that is it. I am also not a confidant or, to be reductionist, a therapist. While my work is warm and welcoming and I put forward a very caring environment, there are only so many things I can do. Providing you a safe space, in which you are always in control, to explore hypnosis and kink? I can do that. Flirting and teasing via text at any of day and maintaining play and scenes outside of my working hours? That is something I cannot do.

If you want a little teasing, my posts are the best and only place for it.

Talking of which.

Writing & Reblogs

I have been slacking on writing. I feel a good chunk of this was down to burnout.

My writing comes in three forms: session writeups, fiction, and posts.

When it comes to session writeups, I have a big backlog that I want to get through. I have had amazing sessions with beautiful people from all walks of identity and gender, and I feel sharing their experiences are good things. To be transparent, writing about these sessions has two functions: first, they share the wonderful experiences of hypnosis that is a bit different to what is usually out there. I've seen, time and time again, how people love that my kind of hypnosis is framed in a more caring and safe way. Second, they advertise. They show what I can do, what people enjoy, and that someone could have an experience with me themselves. Everyone I write about gives express consent and understands this. A business, of any kind, needs to reach out, and I want to do it a way that provides and isn't intrusive.

Fiction is something I want to get back to doing. It allows me to flex my writing while giving something different and fantastical to you. There are thing that my hypnosis cannot do, and fiction is where those fantasies can flourish. It also allows me to explore characters and places through the lenses of hypnosis and magic. Melody and Dina, my two witches who can't seem to catch a break, the wider myths and stories of Miss Saphi, and whatever ideas come to my mind or come to yours with commissions.

Then we have posts. These are like indulgent snacks compared to my writeups and fiction. I like to make these because I may have an idea in my head that maybe doesn't have the room to grow into something bigger, but should still be shared. They also allow me to interact with you lovely folk in the reblogs. Admittedly, interactions have become something that I want to look at a little differently. I do so love responding to you all and inviting you in to my little world of magic, but that also means I'm not doing other things while I'm responding to people. I don't want to stop responding to people, but I now know I can't respond to everyone. So please, if you reach out to me through my writing, know that I do see it, and that if I don't comment or react, it isn't because of you or anything you've done.

Audio

I have been having so much fun with making audio, but lots of things got in the way of me doing more.

I have them forming in two categories for me: hypnosis and narration.

With the former, I would like to begin provide hypnotic and hypnotic adjacent experiences. I want to create audio files that do what they can to emulate what I provide in my sessions, and avoid a lot of the pit falls that audio files seem to do. It also means that the people who want to try my sessions can do so in some capacity without needing to commission me. I've seen so many lovely folk tell me that they'd love to have a session with me but things get in the way, so this would provide something for them as well. With these audio files I hope they give the experience I want them to give, provide a creative outlet for myself, and to also provide a means for people who were able to have a session but were unsure or tentative, have more of an understanding and experience; a try-before-you-buy.

With my narrations, I want these to occupy a similar space that ASMR audio and roleplay does. Consider them stories that I tell you that can begin to feel a little real if you so wished. With regards to my work, they will sit between my fiction writing and hypno audio, something fantastical that might just suck you in if you want it to.

Support

As I've said, my sessions are my main form of support right now, with tips/donations right behind them.

I want to bolster my Patreon so it becomes a more accessible way for people to support me and my work.

Buying sessions is a scary thing, they're quite big, they're an unknown for a lot of people, and so I feel that my Patreon can be a place for people to engage with me in a way that supports me and is more respectful of them.

I am aiming to put new fiction and new audio on Patreon first.

I also want to create content that would be exclusive to Patreon. This is not to arbitrarily paywall. This is for the content that takes more to produce and create. This would include more involved audio roleplays and hypno content, and fiction.

---

Thank you if you got this far, that means a lot more to me than you might think. I am overjoyed that I get to do this, and I want to do so much more, and I hope you all will be here while I do it.

As a treat for reading all of that, here's what I'm going to do next. I'm going to release my first audio roleplay. It is about you visiting my cottage because you've wanted to have a session with me but you're not too sure. So, I sit you down in my cottage and talk to you about how my magic works. I do this in my intro session, and I feel its good to share for people. It isn't inherently made to entrance, but creates a safe space for those who may want to slip into my words.

[triptychgardener]

thank you for early june by the way and and also for being one of the like. three people total other than me who believe in transfem eridan

Look I do fully believe that the worst people among us can, with personal effort, attain goodness and greatness (becoming a transgender woman).

In all honesty I think taking transfem Eridan seriously is, I don't know, sort of important? In the face of March Eridan.

Lots of good ink has been spilled about the transfeminine femboy dichotomy and I don't think I have the ability to replicate the nuances of such things. But like, historically, there has been a category of person, assigned male at birth but feminine presenting to some degree or another, who exists not really as their own person, but instead as an idealized joke/sex object in the minds of men and other people who sexually exploit them. This figure, in the cisheteropatriarchal is a completely apolitical one. You can have sex with them and it doesn't count as gay. They don't have political demands, like "asking to be called women." They are a titillating deviation with no ability to harm the status quo. In today's terms, they are commonly given the dubious title of "femboy" or "trap", but if we look elsewhere, (I will be apologetically butchering the writings of transfeminist Thalia Bhatt) we can see this pattern of third-gendering in places across the world, with women like the feminiello in Naples, hijra in Inda, as well as others. A type of person assigned male at birth, presenting female, who has a particular gendered role in a binary-gendered society, that of being a usually disposable sexual object, occasionally given some light ceremonial or religious airbrushing to disguise the fact that such people are not a part of "normal", life. They are without an internal perspective, denied opportunities to live a life outside of a typically male sexual perspective.

But trans women? If someone is a trans woman, they usually have political demands, a desire for bodily autonomy, and the desire to actually be treated and referred to as women. And when a "femboy" turns out to have been a trans woman all along, well. Just look at how much everyone was talking about the streamer F1nnster when she was just doing a funny crossdressing bit for a person who paid her to do it, how many posts about "cis+ genderfuck crazy gender" versus when she actually came out as trans. This phenomenon works backwards too, with plenty of transfem sex workers having to tag their sex work as femboy to gain traction. There's a clear distinction here if you care to look.

I think Eridan dying in the story where she did was a good thing for the story (same with the rest of the Murderstuck deaths.) In a world with 5000 "fantasy racist learns to become lest racist" plots, having the fascist no one takes seriously Actually Follow Through and do the horrible things his ideology clearly incentivizes him to do is refreshing (also Hussie correctly predicting that the Harry Potter themed character would, in fact, be a fascist). But if one is to continue on, and have Eridan choose to deradicalize herself, then I think making her become a woman as she gets older is one of the only ways forward.

So. That's a lot of fucking words of transfeminism, and why the fuck am I applying to to Eridan Ampora, known dead fascist 13-year old fish from a webcomic? I'll admit it's a tad frivolous, but March Eridan, the fandom concept, flourished in that fun period of the 2010s where everyone was asking if traps were gay (got to hear that said by one of my high school friends, and I was out as a woman at the time.) Not to say it ever really went away, but, like, the whole joke (not putting this on Paige Turner, the original creator of March Eridan, this is just how the fandom ran with it) was just "hey look at this boy in a skimpy miniskirt and tube top and pigtails! Isn't this funny/a good excuse to draw a child barely in his teens in a sexy way?" Not like the fandom really needed an excuse, but I think, to a point, transfem Eridan is kind of the only way to go from there. Turn him into an actual woman. Put aside all the jokes, and make her transfemininity something you have to take seriously, something she has thoughts and feelings about!

[basedonconjecture]

shy nerdy illario? shy nerdy illario.

So I recently posted some rambling Illario Dellamorte thoughts in the tags of this post featuring his awkward little handwave at Cafe Pietra during the Coffee with the Crows quest about believing in a shy nerdy Illario.

The tags for context:

#illario dellamorte who are you when you aren’t performing #never lets anyone know what his real passions are so they can’t take them from him or use them against him #is even more awkward than lucanis

There were more but these are the ones that said thoughts mostly center on.

I don't think I'm really an outlier when it comes to recognizing that Illario very often operates in what feels like very scripted ways. He's built up a certain reputation, people expect him to be a specific way, and he plays into that. At the same time, there's an air of cynicism about him when he does. I look to that moment in The Wigmaker Job when he's introducing himself to the elf in the alienage as the "Lesser" Dellamorte and go back and forth on what's really happening. I've talked a little bit this before and how I think the joke, while painfully self-deprecating, only works as a joke there because it's understood on some level that Lucanis doesn't believe it to be true even if everyone else does. But it's a sort of viciously repeating cycle right? If he introduces himself in this manner to everyone he meets, if he defaults to the self-deprecative, silver-tongued charmer who spends hours on frivolous things like gloves, then this is the sum of who he becomes to people. He disarms them before they have a chance to form any other opinion, be potentially disappointed in, and/or criticize him (for anything that matters). He's told them what he wants them to believe about him, what they will inevitably come to believe anyway, and allows that to be the preeminent version of Illario Dellamorte that exists to the wider world. It is so strategic and so so damning on an interpersonal level.

What does any of this have to do with shy nerdy Illario I keep mentioning? One of the questions I ask above is: who is Illario Dellamorte when he's not performing? Without the cynicism attached to playing a role in which one is never quite certain whether one is liked for the performance or for the bits of truth in said performance, without the drive to external validation in pleasing other people, without the necessity of differentiating himself from his cousin or his grandmother, who does he then become? In TWJ, Lucanis mentions, in passing, that Illario doesn't have any friends and never leaves Treviso. This could be hyperbole, the ribbing between siblings, and not to be taken literally—or it could also be that, when not working a contract, Illario keeps to himself, maybe not so much a homebody as Lucanis, but not as much of a carouser as being a flirt and a supposed enjoyer of nightlife suggests. I tend to lean more toward the latter. When removed from the role of Master Dellamorte the Lesser™ I think Illario does fall closer to Lucanis on the scale of introversion/extroversion, his social agility being learned rather than inherent, and I think he has an unfortunate tendency to feel some control over people in the way he manipulates them. If he can figure out what they want, if he can make them like him even, they become more predictable. He doesn't get hurt. But do they ever really like him for him? Could they? I think he really very much struggles with that cynicism wrt to his personal relationships and pushing past it to make any genuine connections with people. I also imagine that he places his personal interests beneath layers and layers of apathy to, in a way, shield them from judgment. For someone very often criticized on multiple fronts, I can't imagine there's much appeal in being openly earnest and enthusiastic about anything. Ever. Everything—and everyone—is kept at a distance. If one is never taken seriously anyway, what is the point of trying? But if you spend so long burying the things you enjoy in life under apathy, you forget how to talk about them and how to engage with them honestly. I think there's a very real possibility that Illario has at least one interest or hobby that he's really very passionate and stupidly knowledgeable about that absolutely no one in his life is aware of because he won't let them be. (I personally think it probably falls somewhere in the arts, like music or painting or fashion, just based on the everything about him, but could you imagine if it's something tangential like chemistry?? Poisons and cosmetics, do you see my vision? I can't be the only one to have thought about this, right???). In a world where someone manages to break through the cynicism enough to learn this about him, I don't think he'd know how to talk about it, at least not without practice, and I think he would flounder, frankly. Importantly, this struggle would also occur when attempting to be genuine with people too—people who expect him to flatter and cajole and be a specific way—and I think he would fumble and say the wrong thing and put his foot in his mouth in the attempt to learn how to be vulnerable. Illario trying to reconcile how he used to approach relationships versus how he should and wants to approach relationships is something that, to me, can be quite crunchy in both the character growth sense and just calculating the amount of psychic damage he'd be able to take Being Perceived for realsies before imploding.

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

Spoilers for Absolute Green Lantern issue #2

mmm the eldritch cosmic horrors of it all

Also hot damn, girl's got abs

The black hand doesn't operate on willpower eh? So even if this version of Hal Jordan has the same strength of will as the prime continuity's, that's not gonna do any good.

Despite what Hal says, I don't think John and Guy are dead. Which might seem an odd thing to say considering it looks like the latter got blasted to kingdom come by Abin (sidenote- it's interesting how he refers to himself as "the Abin Sur" like it's a title and not his name) but hear me out.

Pretty much the entire time Guy is shown, he's trying to defuse a very tense situation. He only draws his gun when Abin's hand starts glowing menacingly. He's very clearly stressed out and afraid (understandably so, given the circumstances) but makes a conscious choice to listen to Jo and holster his gun to try and talk things out.

Granted, Abin's response is to flashbang Guy but we don't actually see a dead body and that seems to be intentional on Ewing and Lindsay's parts. Because when the sheriff goes down and the other cops open fire, Abin puts up a shield to protect himself. But he doesn't strike back until one of the bullets ricochets and kills a civilian, at which point he decapitates the policewoman responsible. The other cop keeps shooting, so Abin disarms him in a very literal sense.

(the way the Abin Sur keeps saying "be without fear" like a biblical angel and immediately enacts vengeance when Rita's bullet kills an innocent bystander... Spectre is that you?)

And then he stops. He doesn't even move when Hal picks up Rita's gun and points it at him. He merely watches as John talks Hal down. Then he flies off, and we get an aerial view of the scene, showing Roy still bleeding and the dead bodies of Rita and the unfortunate civilian.

But no crispy Guy, which could mean that Ewing and Lindsay are deliberately not showing us what happened to him right now because they're saving that for a later reveal, or that he was completely vaporized and is actually dead. Both options are equally plausible. Absolute Flash has shown that offing established characters is not off the table. But based on how Hal and Jo have been physically altered by whatever Abin Sur did, I suspect the same also applies for Guy and John.

Speaking of John, we'll have to wait and see what his fate is, since this is what the issue ends off on:

(It's so funny that the place where these guys hang out is Alan Scott's Atom Bomb Cafe and Diner. Missed opportunity to have it be the Warriors Bar and have Guy be the owner but I suppose they wanted to reference the old man somehow since he's probably not gonna be an actual character in this)

This seems to confirm my speculation from last month about the Yellow Weakness. My prediction is that John's gonna melt down the ring into a golden bullet and Hal uses the gun he picked up to fire it at the Abin Sur, potentially wounding or even killing him and in doing so unleashing whatever the black hand is. As Jo notes, Hal held onto the gun, and it seems to have become part of the black hand.

(Spooky eye change! Also, I think this is the closest we've gotten to actual constructs in this comic, since Abin only made green blobs to shield himself)

Right about what exactly? That Abin and the Spectrum of Light are to be feared? And what exactly does it meant to "exist" on it, at the green level or otherwise?

It is only issue #2, so we'll just have to wait for these questions to be answered. The narrative keeps hopping back and forth between past and present, but it's not too difficult to keep up with so far. So far, I'm enjoying the story, it seems like it's gonna be working up to some good old cosmic horrors and that'll be fun to see.

[eldritch-spouse]

I wanna go on an rpg style quest where either Livius, Mooncalf or Vinnel is my silly sidekick

To make it even better they only do the weird shit when my back is conveniently turned

You can recruit them if you fulfill their side quests... Or, you just have to deal with them.

Livius attaches to you if you have so much as one empty party space. If not, he'll consistently somehow appear in various scenarios and convince you that he'd be much more useful than any of your dumb, fragile little buddies. There's a big bad up ahead, you know he can take them, right? The more you deny him, the more Livius seethes- Until he himself becomes a boss fight.

Livius' stats are very good, but he's high-maintenance and won't shut the fuck up. He'll butcher other party members if he feels you're giving them more time/better equipment. Intimidation bonus in battles.

Vinnel can be found early on. He targets you to put on a gory display, but if you manage to impress him, the slime actually requests to accompany you in this strange journey. He'll be in the same place if you reject him, though he'll be a lot meaner to you if you come crawling back. He'll also feature in at least one circus event.

Vinnel's stats are pretty decent, but his real talent is providing you luck bonuses in mini-games and looting opportunities. He's only a little high-maintenance, in the sense that you should let him torment your allies a little lest he get bored and leave. Torment may give them a small negative status effect.

Mooncalf is your usual "self-aware and boundary-breaking" NPC. Predictably you need to go looking for him specifically, as well as solve a few riddles. Only then is he sufficiently amused to follow you around. He doesn't take up party space, being more of a bonus than anything. There's also a chance that he can leave the party without input, only to return with some type of loot later.

His stats morph along the game, but they're pretty good. However, loot drops are now randomized, he always has different attacks, and sometimes he just chooses not to fight. Not very high-maintenance.

Recruit all three of them and you get the "Chuckle town" achievement, as well as an optional main character cosmetic that gives you clown hair and a painted face.

[ingravinoveritas]

I've seen a lot of discussion and discourse lately about season 3 of Good Omens and whether or not Aziraphale and Crowley will/should become human. There are definitely many strong feelings around the subject and I'm not about to tell anyone that their opinion is wrong...but at the same time, I feel like there is a sense of misunderstanding around what it would mean for them to be human.

The one sentiment in particular that I keep seeing is "They could've had eternity, but if they're human they'll only get 30 or 40 years together and it's not fair." Which then makes me think of this tweet of Michael's from six years ago:

And I think the point being made here is that it's not about the amount of time that Aziraphale and Crowley will have together, but what they would do to have that time. It's saying that the one thing that surpasses eternity is finding someone who you would give up eternity for.

Eternity is predictable for Aziraphale and Crowley. It is the easy, comfortable thing to do, to continue in that safe, familiar place. To go along with what everyone thinks you should want, because that's just how things have always been. But even more importantly, because no one has ever once made you stop and realize it doesn't have to be that way.

After that happens, eventually, you have to make a choice. You've found this being, they've altered everything about your existence as you know it...and you have to decide what you want your life to be. When we talk about music, there's this idea of something being "one note"...meaning that it stays the same, forever and ever. But after a while, that note just becomes noise. It's the change that we're really listening for--the note that comes after that, and the one after that. That's what music is.

So to me, Aziraphale and Crowley becoming human is about change. It's saying that you want to be with someone not just when things are good and safe, but also when things are bad or difficult. It's wanting to see each other grow--through aging, through the passage of time--because even just a few decades of the unpredictable and facing mortality together is more valuable, more precious than any unchanging eternity.

And ultimately, it's not about what you're letting go of, but what you're holding on to: Someone worth taking that chance.

[loveundrwrld]

yandere ex bully’s yandere alphabet!

i got the template from this post :)

(cws: violence, mentions of bullying, mention of dysfunctional/abusive family dynamics, stalking)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

starts out with verbal affection, praise and compliments- which are very intense off the bat, and he won't really scale it down. in his mind, you need to know exactly how he feels about you and why you are important to him. especially if you are not physically in his life... which is pretty likely. he'll also express his affection to you through acts of service- getting you glasses of water, food, etc. or, he'll try to "make you feel safe" by being around you so nobody dangerous can get to you.

to him, he can prove himself to you being nice to you and treating you well- so he's likely to come off as intense as he's very fervent in his effort. if he thinks his darling is more willing to be with him, he'll calm down a bit after a while.

he'll also express his affection to you physically with hugs, kisses, etc, but he'll keep that to when he thinks you are okay with it. he’s not good at reading his darling and he’s somewhat aware of that, so he’ll often mirror things you do to him to you thinking that you’ll be more likely to like it (like using the same pet names, kissing you in the same places, etc.)

Blood:How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

he understands that practically speaking, his darling could very well get upset or afraid of him if he really hurts people like he wants to. so unlike other yanderes he won't kill anyone behind your back. he might snap and hit people/beat people up, but that's as far as it goes.

however if his darling requests it, he can get very messy! he doesn't really have care at all for anyone other than his darling. so, if you ask him to kill anyone- including his friends- he will do so, easily. his only limit is that he won't want to kill his brother, and he'll likely become emotionally distant from you for a while if you ask him to do so.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

i think tanner is much less likely to straight up kidnap you. once he's reached a certain breaking point, he's more likely to just break into your house and just... not leave.

he'll only kidnap you if your living situation makes it impossible for him to do this without him being caught (such as if you have a roommate) or if your living situation is physically unsafe in some way.

he wouldn't straight up mock you though, he's really trying to avoid doing so. he wants to show you how much he's changed and how nice he can be for you! but he might show his impatience and irritation that you still aren’t hearing him out. he wouldn’t yell at you, but he would be blunt and passive-aggressive in some circumstances.

he can come off as cruel and insensitive though as sometimes he can be rather blunt without thinking. like, "why did you date that guy? he's such a little bitch." this side of him comes out more often if he's jealous.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

not intentionally, but practically speaking that's often how it turns out (see "Affection" above- he's not good at reading or predicting his darling.) probably ends up hugging and kissing before his darling would prefer, as he genuinely thinks that his darling is likely ready for him to do so.

he's less cautious about this if he thinks his darling is willingly in a relationship with him of their own free will... which, likely isn't what's happening. but, he will quickly back off with physical contact if asked.

he's a lot more blunt about asking consent for anything sexual though, and will likely just wait until you bring it up of your own volition. he's too worried about messing up your first time with him to risk anything.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

one of his insecurities is being seen as "soft"- it's why he became a bully in his youth in the first place, due to his deep seated insecurities with himself. he wants to be seen as a tough guy, like your guard dog or something. he wants you to think he's strong, and someone to rely on.

he also wasn’t the best in school, and struggles sometimes with things. so he also doesn’t want you to think of him as “stupid.”

he doesn't really want to be vulnerable, to show you that he's upset if it's not to show you that he cares about you. he'll say things like "i missed you so much" or say "i'm hurt that you did that" for instance, but will try to hide anything like him crying, nightmares, etc. basically to him, if it's not related to you? you don't really need to know about it.

his darling probably can guess as to what is going on a lot of the time though, as he can often drop disturbing facts about his childhood in casual conversations without realizing (as he genuinely doesn't understand how bad his upbringing really is.)

he also may act weird about some things and not tell you why- like huffing a bit in frustration if you offer to pick up something heavy for him or to calculate the tip on a bill for him and not explain why, which probably signals to his darling that something is up.

he'll close himself off a bit if you try to talk to him about how he feels about his childhood or any insecurities though. it takes him a long time to actually be vulnerable with you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

sad :,(

he'll be obviously visibly hurt but, to him this isn't very surprising. he expected this as a possibility. he lets you know that you can hurt him as much as you like if it helps you feel better! (this doesn't work the way he had hoped it would.)

he wouldn’t stand for being continuously hit over a long period of time though. then, he’d get impatient, as he wanted to get your trust in return the first few times. if he doesn’t get that, there’s no real point to it for him. it’s less that he’s concerned about his safety, moreso that he has his limits with his patience.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

not a game at all, he would not enjoy watching his darling escape. his goal is for you not to be afraid of him after all.

especially if he actually abducted you to his house or a secondary location- since he'd likely only go for that route if he deems your usual lifestyle too unsafe or something. do you really hate him so much that you'd go back to your previous life, even though he'd do anything for you??

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

well, the whole concept of his character is that he's his darlings former bully- so, it could very well be him bullying them as a child. he isolated them from getting friends when they were younger and made their school life unbearable.

aside from that, i think the worst case scenario would be a darling who already has a significant other. that would really cause him to snap out much faster than he would normally. possibly even before he really reconsidered what his relationship to his darling in the past was like, which would make him far less considerate to his darling.

tanner is a bit willfully deluded sometimes, and sees things in a certain light due to paranoia or jealousy- so he's likely to freak out from just minor signs that you are unhappy, and pin that on your partner mistreating you. he then used that as an excuse to threaten them and hit them.

even though he usually lets you go anywhere you please, he also might be more likely to kidnap and isolate you if you already have a long term partner you are living with. though just for a bit- his goal is that he wants you to forget about them.

to have a partner that the darling loves and feels safe with, only for that person to basically be terrorized by tanner enough for the partner to leave the relationship and then subsequently be forced to be around someone they fear and hate... that would probably be the worst experience for the darling.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

when he was younger, his older brother had given him little tips on what to do in a relationship- and it was geared towards him dating a woman. hold doors open for a date, carry your date’s bags, walk your date home... etc.

due to this, he has a specific view on how he wants a romantic relationship to be. he wants to take a typically masculine, provider type of role. he doesn't particularly care how his darling presents themself or what their gender is, he just wants to treat them a particular way, especially if they're in public.

(although, if your condition of being with him is that YOU take that role instead... he may be willing to reconsider his ideas ;))

does want to get married and live with you in a mutual, loving relationship where you feel protected and safe with him- that's his ultimate goal for the future.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

yes, he gets jealous. he'll often lash out against the person (not the darling.)

in very mild cases, he might just grumble and be blunt/passive aggressive with how he talks about that person around his darling.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

depends on the situation!

if he thinks you feel safe around him/are willingly choosing to be around him? very sweet, nice, and a bit flirty and affectionate.

if he thinks you dislike him? he's very desperate, clingy, trying to show you how good he can be for you.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

literally, with letters lol. he wants to let you know just how much your mind, and is all too honest in how he expresses just how obsessed he is with you. phone calls too until you block his number.

likely keeps to sending you letters and stalking from afar- until he thinks that you are hinting at him that you want him to approach you. in which case, he'll try to arrange a meeting through the letters he sends you.

although, if he thinks that you may need him being around closer for one reason or another (generally if he believes your current lifestyle to be very unhealthy/unsafe) he will not wait that long and may just... break into your house and not leave, so he can be there to supervise you a little.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

yes, lol. due to a combination of what i said earlier re: his insecurities with being seen as "soft" and him just generally not caring about people other than his darling... he acts VERY different with his darling in private than he ever would around anyone else.

at his job he's not smiling, he's very straightforward and isn't really friendly with anyone. he keeps himself from straight up mocking others (so he doesn’t lose his employment) but he doesn’t reign in his expression or tone much. he'll be clearly annoyed if anyone wants help or asks questions. around you, he's bright and happy to spend time with you, doing whatever you ask him to do.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

not the type to punish his darling! he's more the submissive type. if he's upset with you he may be passive-aggressive or distance himself from his darling for a little bit. if it gets really bad he'll get a bit catty and talk to the guys he works with about you behind your back. but he wouldn’t punish you as he doesn't think it's his place to do so.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

generally he lets you do whatever you want! it's just that a lot of the time, whether you know it or not... he will also be there. lol.

if in the extreme circumstance he kidnaps you, he's already on edge and nervous that this will cause you to hate him. he's not likely to do much other than to not let you outside or talk to others. but that’s for practical reasons, so you won't alert anyone to your current situation.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

sometimes he gets impulsive and emotional and breaks some of his darling's boundaries. but otherwise he's pretty patient! he's trying to be, he just gets caught up in his own feelings sometimes.

he can be a little easily agitated, though, even with his darling. he more or less is expecting you to have a grudge against him, but you repeatedly insulting him or yelling at him would make him a little irritated. he’d feel like you aren’t giving him a chance to redeem himself. he’s more soft when it comes to his darling being afraid of him, though.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

absolutely distraught and devastated if his darling died... he would be in a state of regret thinking he could have done something different for a long time, likely not doing anything to move past the situation for basically the rest of his life.

if his darling escaped though, his reaction would be much less drastic. he's upset, and he's going to put as much effort as he can to try and find you again, but he's not nearly as depressed.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

if he realizes that you are scared of him?? VERY guilty, deep regret. he doesn't like doing things that make you upset!

there really isn't any circumstance where he would willingly cut contact with you all together, though. is he aware that that would be for the best? sure. but he's way too far gone for that. to him, you're the only reason he has to be happy.

closest thing he'll do to that you space for a week or so (like, if you brought it up as an ultimatum.) after the week ends he’ll go back to you immediately afterwards acting needier than he was before.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

poor childhood upbringing, mostly. his parents were neglectful to the point of being abusive, and he was basically raised by his older brother, who was also a troubled teen himself and treated him poorly.

since he never really had a place to feel safe or appreciated, he wanted to be seen as the "toughest" guy in school as a kid. he wanted to feel powerful. this is what caused him to become a bully and fixate on you strongly- you likely seemed to be an easy target.

his lack of a proper upbringing also caused his yandere qualities later in life when he realized he wants you as a lover. he has a very black and white thinking due to a poor childhood- it's either you, or no one else. and, since he often feels like what he cares about has often left or been taken away from him- he is very obsessive over you, as you are one of the few things in his life that make him feel things this strongly. he generally feels like he has to "earn" a persons respect that is important to him, because that's how it was with his older brother.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

upset :( he doesn't like seeing you like that! it's a little unnerving watching you break down like that, he's going to try to be desperate to get on your good side.

if it's just isolating themself, though, he's not as worried. he just thinks that the darling needs some time alone and doesn't really think much of it. unless the darling is missing meals or something, he's not going to say anything.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

yep! he's pretty carefree about what his darling does, more just wanting to be around his darling rather than control them. you can have a job and a regular life for the most part.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

well, he can be impulsive if he's caught up with his emotions- this causes him to make some obvious mistakes that his darling can then use to their advantage.

for instance, it's pretty clear that he's stalking you through the letters he sends you, and he's honest about many things if you just ask him. he also offers to kill people for you... which, if you play your cards right, could lead him to going to jail.

also: very easy to manipulate. it’s really not that hard to engineer opportunities for you to be left alone so you can prepare for an escape.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

he's really trying hard not to, especially physically. he doesn't want to risk scaring or upsetting you at this point. the only thing i could see him doing is grabbing his darling's wrist too hard if he's pulling them- but he would have to be very caught up in his emotions for him to do that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he very much worships his darling and puts them on a pedestal. to him, you are kind, mature, and well-adjusted... regardless if you really are those things.

he's willing to do ANYTHING to win his darling over- and he's very insistent they give him the chance to do so.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

depends on a few factors. if the darling is already in a relationship? very quickly, maybe after just a month of stalking and seeing what the dynamic is between the darling and their significant other.

if the darling is in an unsafe environment or is extremely neglectful of their health, it would take even less time. maybe even less than two weeks- which isn't good for the darling, because he hasn't fully processed how he feels about the darling at that point, and will likely be much less patient or kind with them as a result.

but, generally speaking, it takes about about a year or so of him stalking you to get to the point where he feels like he needs to send the letters to you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

pretty unlikely, actually. they might have breakdowns and definitely don't appreciate him being around, especially at first. but he's not likely to emotionally break them to the point where they don't act anything like themself, he’s not a cruel type of yandere to his darling. if they are so upset that it's extremely obvious to him, he will try to be nicer to them in some way or another.

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

The Jacket - A Joel Miller Drabble

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader Rating: Sigh....it's E again. semi-public sex, p in v, bit of fingering. Word Count: 2411 a/n: It's been an exceptionally rough week, so this is a bit late, but it was nice to spend some time at my computer writing after all the difficult stuff. Written for TLOU Sundays!

Nothing should surprise you anymore, not after the endless stream of dates you'd been subjected to over the past few weeks. A dumb New Year's Resolution that had you out every weekend on dates that were consistent in just two ways: they were all shit and after every single one you found yourself sitting at the same bar in the same seat next to the same man.

His name was Joel, a fact you'd learned after the first asshole had tried to feel you up in the parking lot after barely an hour at the shitty Italian place down the street. The second time you found yourself at his side you'd learned he has a daughter, a middle schooler that was sometimes a little much for a single dad to understand.

You'd offered him advice. After the third date you learned he'd taken it.

Four disastrous dates in you found yourself looking for him, almost eager to see him at the same place in the far corner of the bar. You knew you'd find him, the same way you always did on Friday nights, when his daughter was at a friend's for the evening and after your scheduled meet ups with the various fuckboys crawling through your town. And so it went, week after week.

When you find him after a particularly horrible date that had ended with you climbing out the bathroom window of the sushi place you'd met at, Joel has your drink, a mojito, already sitting on the counter. It's fresh, still cool to the touch when you wrap your fingers around the glass, and you wonder if he was just hoping you'd show up or if you've just truly become that predictable.

"How'd the fish go?" Joel asks. You'd told him last week that sushi was on the menu this time around, already onto the next name in the app with the hope that they might be the one. He'd found the entire idea a bit comical, and he never passed up an opportunity to tease you about it.

A long sigh leaves your lungs as you kick your heels off so they rest on the floor beneath your barstool. "I'm here, so..." you pause, avoiding his eye contact, "fishy."

He laughs, a deep rumble that relaxes you more each time you hear it, and you can't help but join in until suddenly the mood shifts. There's something different about him tonight, his jokes about your dates soon replaced by a more-quiet-than-usual demeanor, but you also know him well enough already to recognize that he won't tell you what's wrong, so there's little use in trying to figure it out.

"Who's next?" he asks eventually, obviously trying to cover and return to his usual questioning as he toys with the mostly empty beer glass in front of him.

"I think I've gotta give it up, actually," you admit. "Fuck these dating apps, you know? Embrace the single life." It's a truth you'd only admitted to yourself on the short ride to the bar, but there's no part of you that ever wants to go on another one of these dates, even if it does mean seeing Joel after.

There's no response from him though, not immediately at least, and when you glance in his direction he seems lost in thought. "Gets kinda lonely that way," he surprises you by saying.

"Maybe," you consider, "but it's gotta be better than climbing out the window of a sushi place," you offer, trying to lighten the mood. He doesn't even flinch, and you take a deep breath, finding the courage to admit what you want to next. "Honestly, the only good thing about these dates has been this."

That gets Joel's attention, his head turning in your direction in a way that worries you he'll hurt his neck. You resist the urge to laugh at the shocked look on his face, but then someone opens the door, causing the cold evening air to ghost over your exposed shoulders. Your smile fades as a shiver takes over your body, the dynamic growing more serious once more.

"Here," Joel offers, shrugging his jacket off and draping it over your body before you can protest. It smells like him, a combination of the sawdust he carries with him everywhere and the store brand deodorant that works just as well as the name brand.

"Thanks," you respond softly, weaving your arms through the oversized fabric until you're drowning in it.

His only response is a nod of his head before he takes a drink of his beer, giving you a front row seat to the expanse of his throat as he swallows, and if you were uncertain earlier about your growing feelings for this man, the second shiver that runs along your spine is evidence enough to suggest that you know exactly what you want. That is, until the reminders flood through your brain. All the reasons you can't have him. Excuses that seem to blur a bit more every time you see him here.

"You deserve better than that," he finally says, unaware of the way you're staring at him. "You deserve more than being alone."

"So do you." It's an easy argument for you to make, because it's true, even if you're certain that he doesn't believe it himself. "No one deserves to be alone."

The silence stretches for another moment, your eyes trained on him, trying to read his emotions until he's suddenly finishing his beer and standing. "See you next Friday, then," he mutters, throwing a twenty on the countertop, more than enough to cover both of your drinks.

It takes you aback, the way he strides to the door immediately after without another word. You abandon your drink without a second thought, scrambling to grab your heels as you chase after him.

"Joel!" you call out, barely noticing the stones littering the pavement beneath your feet as you follow him to his truck. "Joel, stop," you insist, your breath heavy when you do finally catch up to him as he unlocks the driver's side door.

He does stop what he's doing, turning to look at you as the soft hum of cicadas fills the night air between you as though he's expecting you to explain why you've just run, barefoot, through the parking lot after him.

"You forgot your coat."

It's all you can think to say, your heart pounding in your chest as you try to make sense of what's really happening right now. If this is happening right now. As you try to determine why you're truly following him and why you're so damn upset that he walked out in the first place.

"Keep it," he returns easily, shifting to open the door so he can climb inside the old pickup.

For a second you think you might let him go. It would be easier, after all. The laundry list of reasons why you shouldn't stop him from driving away right now still longer than the list of the reasons why you should. But now, as you stand in the parking lot, it's more than obvious that you don't want any of the assholes in your phone.

You want him.

"Wait." You say it with enough intensity that he follows the command, the door still open, his hand poised to close it. He doesn't flinch when you lean in over him to throw your heels on the passenger seat, and he doesn't stop you when you climb into the cab, swinging one leg over his thighs and settling in his lap.

He doesn't touch you, either, his arms awkwardly hanging at his sides, although you can't help but notice the way his fingers are gripping into the fabric of the seat beneath you both, like he's doing his best to constrain himself. "Shouldn't be doing this," he mutters, avoiding your eye contact until you force him to look at you, your hands guiding his to your hips.

"Maybe not, but I'd rather be here, doing this, with you, than any of those other idiots. Plus," you pause, pressing a tentative kiss to his cheek, "if you really count it, this is, what? Our seventh date now? I should be commending you for waiting this long."

This draws a laugh out of him, one that starts softly and then grows heavier as his grip tightens around your waist, drawing you closer. "If you think those were dates, sweetheart, I've got a lot of making up to do."

"Best dates I've had in a long time," you whisper honestly, because it's true. You'd take a quick drink at a rundown bar with Joel over a high class meal with anyone else any day. His eyes are searching yours when you drag your gaze away from his lips, the next words out of your mouth solidifying what's to come. "Can I please kiss you now?"

Joel doesn't waste any more time, diving in and practically devouring you in one swift motion now that he has permission. His hands are suddenly everywhere, tethered in your hair as he holds you against him, on the bare skin of your thighs as he draws the fabric of your skirt higher and higher, and eventually between your legs, right where you want him most.

You whine, a sound that has him instantly reaching for the still open door so he can close it with a thud, encasing both of you in the steadily growing heat of his truck. "You're soaked," he informs you as though you don't already know. "When was the last time you were properly fucked?"

"Too long," is your only response, and you're already fairly certain that it wouldn't matter anyway because something tells you that you've never been fucked by anyone quite like Joel Miller, and you doubt you ever will be again.

His fingers work quickly, sneaking beneath the thin fabric that covers you and slipping into your heat without warning. "Then we better make this worth it," he whispers against you ear, and when he curls his fingers perfectly you know instantly that it will be.

"Joel," you breathe out, rocking into his hand when his thumb joins the assault, circling around your clit in well-practiced motions. "Fuck, how are you so good at this? "

"Years of practice," he laughs gruffly, his lips worrying into the skin of your neck. He has you teetering on the edge in what feels like seconds, only to slip his hand from between your thighs before you can fall.

"What the fuck, Joel?"

He has the audacity to smile when you pull back to look at him, but he's already reaching between you to undo his belt. "Wanna be inside you when I feel you come," he explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Like you aren't about to ride him in the cab of his pickup truck under the soft haze of the single light of the bar's parking lot.

When he rolls a condom over his length without you even having to ask, it's obvious that you've made the right choice, and everything that follows seems to happen quickly. Joel guides you up and onto your knees, one of which is digging into the buckle for the seatbelt, but you don't care because seconds later he's pulled your panties to the side and his cock seems to be stretching you to your very limits.

"Easy now," he reassures you as you sink down, one of his hands on your lower back as he encourages the arch of your body against his. "That's it, sweetheart. Take what you need."

You follow his guidance willingly, working yourself on him in slow motions. "Did you order my drink tonight hoping I'd come?" you ask, unable to hold back the question any longer as you rise on your knees again.

He nods.

"And did you think that the night would end with me fucking you in your truck," you lean in to whisper against his ear as you glide back down, encasing him in your heat once more, "while wearing your coat?"

It's his turn to shiver, but his only response is to seal his lips against yours once more, kissing you fiercely as he begins to rut up against you. The truck squeaks with your movement, although you're unsure if it's because of its age or just how well he's taking you, right where anyone could walk from the bar and see exactly what was going on.

"Gonna take you on a date," he insists, as though he doesn't have you on the verge of your orgasm, "a real date. Show you what you've been missing out on."

"Oh I think I know," you say, your hands moving to the headrest behind him, looking for some kind of leverage as you slam down onto his cock again. He shifts below you slightly, inching his way down the seat and planting his feet more firmly against the floorboards so he can change the angle. The move has you screaming, helpless to do anything but as he pounds up into you and triggers your climax.

It washes over you like a wave, your body stilling against his as you cry out his name loud enough that you're sure if the parking lot hadn't been empty someone would've heard you.

"Fuck, fuck fuck," he repeats, voice rough as he works you through it, "so fucking tight." You've barely returned to earth when his thumb sneaks between you once more, rubbing in tight circles against your core until you're clenching around him again, Joel stilling beneath you a moment later as he spills into the condom.

You feel boneless when you come to, your entire body limp in his arms, the scent of him on the jacket still on your shoulders now combined with the heavy smell of sex. Joel's lips are again bruising your neck, leaving a distinct reminder for any other man that you might encounter that you're already taken. And after this, as you relish in the feel of his softening cock inside you, you're pretty sure you are.

"Will all of our dates end like this from now on?" you ask breathlessly, more than content to stay right where you are.

"Only if you want them to," he assures you, finishing his task with one last kiss pressed to your skin.

"Yeah," you reply softly. "I think I'd like that."