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#with the way the game is written it would just be weird as fuck and bad writing if it was canon???
mcybree · 2 months
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Im doing a lot of thinking abt why roleplaying feels different/less natural for me in beastlife s4 in comparison to s3, and i think it’s because there’s ways i know i should be feeling (based on the perception of my character— when i was fresh out of s2 nobody knew enough about my guy to have opinions) vs how i am feeling. I’m catching myself thinking, “it wouldn’t make sense for my character to [blank],” and it’s like… what do i mean by that. what do i mean that this feeling im having in-session “wouldnt make sense for my character” to feel? It might be surprising to other beasts who know me for one thing and expect consistency, i guess?? but in s3 i just acted on feelings and then shit happened. what. why am i trying to enforce a character that does not exist when the strength of mcrp lies in its improvisational nature. I didn’t write this guy on purpose, why am i trying to write him now
#i suppose its both the perception + higher investment from myself#I care about this story greatly now#and want it to be “good”. But there’s only so much control i have over that#Its not my job to break down the themes of the narrative and try my best to make it cohesive im here to play games and dramatics#My favorite mcrp narratives werent written on purpose. they literally just happened naturally#Imagine if i went into elysium after death thinking “how do i properly conclude my character arc”#And not “This will probably land us a conclusion. lets ball”#I think there’s also more pressure because my character is universally seen as a bad guy now so im like. ohh#What if i make him too sympathetic on accident and everyone thinks im weird irl about it#Bitch youre roleplaying with cubes. who give a fuck……#sorry for posting like you people know what im talking about btw#But i also just think mcrp is rlly interesting#beastlife#<- i guess. I use it as an organizational tag but its funny that there’s a “maintag” now#Still using it for organization though idgaf#Unrelated but I got a good scott ask earlier today in my drafts that i just remembered#The forgetter#Ftr i think its good to be somewhat narratively aware but the way i typically do it is in an entertainer sense#and not a serious serious mode writing sense. i am much more comfortable with one of these over the other#which would be why playing s4 feels a bit unnatural for me at times#not to say people who do go into mcrp with this mindset are like. wrong. it just does not work for me i think
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lightnersdream · 1 year
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ive changed my mind since i wrote that post if Swatch got their hands on that email freak they would rip his arms off and personally drown him
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rivaiin · 1 year
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ok now that ive had a couple of hours to sit on it the new conversation with buzzo at the ending of joyful sucks absolute ass. i liked the rest of the new content Specially the new boss in painful but the stuff with buzzo is..............................
#wheres the nuance the care the love thats on the rest of the game#if we take what buddy says at face value its weird cause she barely knows who lisa is#so how could she know what kind of relationship she had with buzzo#and if we take it as buddy somehow channeling the spirit of lisa to spill that stuff its probably even worse#cause like whats the point of every other interaction between buzzo and lisa then#i sort of get the idea that they wanted to portray buzzo as a pathetic man but like. he already was#just maybe not in the same way as other pathetic characters#this mans been hung up on the same thing for his entire life but like. it was a life changing event. it Was traumatic#he blames everyone except the person that was actually hurting lisa and keeps taking some kind of fucked up responsability over it#even tho he was a child at the time too#hes not cool for deciding to carry out a lifelong revenge against someone that was as against the wall as he was#like i just dont get what was the point of it all#to rub it in that hes not over lisa after all this time? as if it want already obvious?#and the entire conversion is so awkwardly written#like i dont remember the exact line but when buddy says she knows cause shes a woman#as shown in literally the next post credits scene she doesnt know what a mother is but she has lived the Normal girl experience#honestly being a hater here but it doesnt feel like they would say that#speciallt after how good the rest of the new content is#the campfire conversations are wonderful and all the stuff from painfuls secret boss really fleshes out brad a lot more#Anyways i liked the de stuff but the price hike and the bugs and this really spoils the experience#at least the old version of the game is still there
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she-toadmask · 1 year
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I am not one to be negative about Pokemon but Scarlet/Violet is the second worst main game on Switch (BDSP is the worst mostly for being a disappointment)
Legends has better shiny hunting
Sword/Shield had better raids
I didn't play Let's Go as much as the others but it is polished and an enjoyable experience
All three run better than SV and have fewer glitches
#fortunately my 3ds should get finished with repairs this month so i can do some sos chaining instead#i have bank and transporter on it if they didnt fuck it up#it sucks i find sv hunting so frustrating because there are a bunch of pokemon where that's the only way on switch to hunt them#like i would love to get a shiny scatterbug but to hunt it on 3ds i would need to do a new playthrough because my files are weird#(i bought a powersaves and tried to do multiple files and switching computers made it a mess so i just need to play again)#and then i need to get some help somewhere to complete the ENTIRE nat dex to get the shiny charm#because i balk at the idea of not using shiny charm#and even then i have to do random encounters because i dont want to do masuda method#i'll have to do the same with oras but at least dexnav provides an alternative#it will be nice to replay those games properly#fun fact i have done rng manipulation hunting in bw2#got a shiny latias 2/3 of the lake trio (got a full odds uxie in bdsp so ive got the whole gang) and an absol for a friend#bdsp despite my low playtime i got 3 shinies#the aformentioned uxie a quagsire in the marsh and a random tentacruel. no idea how or why#i intended to finish the dex in bdsp for the shiny charm even though it helped like two things but i didnt vibe with the game enough#ds rng manip is cool if you have not a 3ds and a computer look into it. did gen 5 for specific mons and got cute charm glitch on hgss#there is also rng manip for 3ds titles but i didnt find out until the charging stopped working right so i havent been able to try it#(i removed the battery to charge it so the date reset regularly)#also id you have a 3ds. hack it. do it. 3ds.hacks.guide it's very well-written and lets you do cool shit#including piracy
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simpjaes · 18 days
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CUNNILINGUIST ― s.jy (ft. p.sh)
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Unfortunately for you, no man has ever given you some good head. Fortunately for you, your best friend is more annoyed by it than you are. It’s just a favor, right? or the one where your best friend jake eats you out as a way to admit his own feelings for you, also, apparently sunghoon existing is an issue.
minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog to give bestie jake conflicting feelings
WORDCOUNT― 16.1 k
PAIRING― jake x afab reader (ft. sunghoon)
CONTENT― a lot of waiting, like to the point it even annoyed me, very fluffy stuff , typical best friends to fuck buddies to “actually, I had feelings this whole time”, jealousy, jake is whiny and needy when he’s horny, reader thinks it’s cute. angst if you’re a baby about it
OTHER CHARACTERS― sunghoon as the mutual friend who bangs reader
NOTE― this was originally written by me on my other blog [@/ncteez], if you’ve read it before, that’s why!
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― BIG DICKED BESTIE, pussy eating (he gets IN THERE), masturbation in the form of dry humping a mattress and then into his hand, finger fucking, cum eating, sunghoon hook up, morning sex, lazy fingering, lazy fuck, dirty talk , unprotected sex, awkward build up,raw grinding, no blowjob in sight sorry lmao, deep penetration, cream pie, kind of cum stuffing but like not entirely intentional, cheesy love stuff 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“What? Again?” Jake says, leaning back against the couch with a groan and a smack to his own forehead.
“Yeah, so basically he went down on me for less than a minute but expected me to, like, go long enough to ‘swallow’ or whatever.” You continue the story in a frustrated huff, shaking your head in self-pity.
Jake groans louder, leaning himself forward again and swiping his drink from your coffee table to take a long and thoughtful sip. 
“How many times is that, then?” He says between sips, glancing around the room as if he’s in deep thought. “I can’t help but think you pick these kinds of guys on purpose at this point.”
You look at him in mock pain, grabbing his drink and taking your own thoughtful sip of it.
“I dunno, they always talk big game during phone sex and stuff. I figure eventually one of them will live up to it.” You drone on, internally marking your recent date’s name off of your call-back list. 
“Be honest with me, have you ever actually gotten good head? Like how would you know if they’re bad if you have nothing good to compare them to?” Jake asks, letting you mindlessly drink his beverage.
It’s not weird to be having these types of conversations with him, if at all, something would seem off if you didn’t. He’s the only person in your life that you’ve ever felt this close to. At this point, you think he’d have to chase you down with a bloody hatchet for things to be awkward. Which is…kind of interesting, you guess.
“Well, I mean,” You think for a moment too long for his liking, but he gives you the space to finish your answer. “It feels good and all but it’s not like I’ve ever gotten off by it.”
“Correction –” Jake starts, blinking right at you. “You’ve never been given the chance to get off on it.” His bright  smile shows through his words, and you’re sure he’s mocking you at this point.
“Yeah, yeah. Yada, yada. I have terrible taste in sexual partners but to be fair, it’s not like the pool is that big to choose from.”
He nods in agreement, humming as if to end the conversation and still watching you sip at his drink.
“Would you be opposed to–” He pauses, making eye contact with you. “Y’know, I could do it for you.”
You pause, nearly dropping his drink out of your hand but thankfully your grip actually tightens on it instead. You swallow as you look at him, searching his face to see if this is some kind of joke.
“Jae-fucking-yun,” You deadpan, sitting his cup back down on your coffee table and leaning toward him, staring him down. “You’d really do that, for me?”
You bat your eyelashes at him, mostly playing it off as a half-joke just to see if he’s fucking with you or not. 
“How else are you gonna experience it?” 
You stare him down harder.
“You say that like you’re some sort of pussy-eating-god,” You narrow your eyes. “Are you?”
He shrugs casually with his little smile, leaning back on your couch and stretching his arms out. One of his hands lands behind your shoulder and you lean into it. 
“I’d let you be the judge of that if you’re up for it.”
Finally, you decide that he’s definitely not joking and you’re definitely gonna do it because like, that’s your best friend. Experiencing your firsts with him comes almost as naturally as walking. You had your first kiss with him, albeit it was a dare. You experienced your first concert with him, your first break up, your first failed exam, and even your first legal drink in a club. What’s so bad about letting him eat you out?
“Right now?” You ask, quirking your brow and tilting your head.
“Now, tomorrow, next week. Whenever.” He runs his hands through his hair as he says it and only now are you starting to really tune into his features that you’ve already found handsome.
Day after day you’ve seen him on this couch and in other states of dress without really thinking twice about how his lips would feel on you (despite that short first kiss). You’ve seen him kissing all up on other people, you’ve seen him in the club with wet lips from alcohol, you’ve seen him all messy and eating spaghetti at his parent’s house– but for some reason, his lips seem different now. His sleepy eyes seem different, his messy hair seems like something that should be tugged on, his fucking jawline– 
“Why’re you staring at me like that?” He looks at you up and down as if he’s judging. “You wanna go right now?”
You nod slowly, letting the traces of any lusty thoughts you’ve had about him in your life come to the front in waves. Then you quickly shake your head.
“Wait, no,” You roll your eyes more at yourself than him. “I haven’t showered since my date, maybe I should, uh…”
“Uh – yeah. Please do.” He grimaces, that same dopey smile coming back after a moment. 
“Fair.” You roll your eyes. “Gonna go shower then.” 
Part of you wonders if like, he’s being totally legit. For all you know, you’ll get out of the shower and he’ll be too busy doing something else, or like, he’ll go home or something. No hurt in seeing though.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
In the bathroom, you can’t help the feeling in your chest at even the thought that this may be about to happen.
Excitement. That’s what you feel. Not because it’s Jake. Well, maybe a little bit because you wanna see what his tongue is all about but more so because you’re about to get some presumably good head.
You shower thoughtfully, cleaning every part of your body and feeling little goosebumps rise and fall with each sensation of your air conditioning snaking its way past your shower doors. When you get out, you lotion your body so you’re all nice and soft and brush your teeth just in case things go a little further. You’re not expecting it to, but y’know, nothing wrong with having fun if it comes to it. 
After all, he’s doing you a favor by going down on you, the least you can do is smell good, be soft, and totally prepared for if he were to suggest more, right? Right. Anyway, you’re all showered up and opt to just let your hair do its own thing as you throw on your shirt and shorts. You ignore the panties at this point, because why not?
When you get back to the living room, Jake isn’t there. Naturally, you check your bedroom and there he is, still his normal self and lounging against your headboard while flipping through videos on his phone. 
“And she’s back,” he comments, reaching a hand out as if to invite you to your own bed. “Change your mind yet?”
“Not even for a second,” you smile as you take a spot in front of him, your entire body facing him as you pull your knees up and lay your chin against your arms. “Have you?”
He seems to fall into a more serious tone now, locking his phone before tossing it to the side and flicking his eyes up to look at you, scanning your legs in the shorts. 
“No,” he chokes back, shocked to see straight between the gap of your shorts and actually lay eyes on the point of this whole situation for the first time. “And you’re not wearing anything under those shorts.”
You watch his face and the way it turns from your best friend into something you’ve seen time and time again from men you’ve gone home with. It’s sexy on him though, for some reason.
“Figured I’d save you the trouble?”
He smiles, now moving himself toward you and reaching a hand behind to cradle your head. 
“Lay back,” he says softly, in a voice you’ve only heard a few times from him, “you could have left the shorts off too though.” He adds with an even softer laugh.
For some reason, it makes you feel shy. His hand guiding you to lay back all while grabbing the pillow from behind him and placing it under your head so that you’re nice and comfortable.  You watch him look at you and honestly, it’s in a way you can’t remember him ever looking at you before. If this is how he looks at other women, you may be a little jealous. 
It feels more intense right now than you thought it would.
“You’re being weird.” You say offhandedly, looking away from him and trying to keep the heat from flushing to your cheeks. 
“You’re letting me eat you out, how am I being weird?” He leans up from you, putting two hands on your knees but still waiting for your eyes to meet his again. “You want me to act like the other dudes? Dip my tongue in then wrap it up?”
You groan, rolling your eyes back to him and analyzing the way his big hands drape over your knees. 
“Okay, fair.” You admit defeat, feeling his warm palms move down the back of your thighs and to your ass. 
“Lift up,” He says, quickly pulling the shorts off of you when you do as he asks. 
“Oh–” He gasps quietly. “Damn.”
He stares directly between your legs, bracing his hands back at your knees and spreading your legs a bit. He angles his head in different ways to really look at you, seemingly enamored with your pussy as a whole. 
“Look who’s staring now.” You chuckle, instinctively hiding your face from him despite knowing he isn’t looking up at you.
“Yeah– I am,” he admits, now adjusting himself on the bed to lay down, his head easily slotting between your legs as he rests his chin on your lower belly and looks up at you. “You can pull my hair or do whatever, I’m just gonna…like, start I guess. Tell me if it’s something you don’t like.”
As normal as this isn’t, he’s speaking similar to how the two of you had taken on projects before. He typically takes the lead but offers you control more often than not. All you can do is nod at him, trying to comprehend that it’s your best friend’s head between your legs right now.
When he pulls his head back up with one last nod of confirmation, the first thing you feel is his fingers slipping up your folds, the other braced on your thigh and holding your legs open. You release a short sigh of relief at the feeling and he instantly smirks at it. 
“I haven’t even started yet,” He whispers, glancing up at you before fixing his eyes back on the expanse of your pussy. He uses his ring and pointer finger to spread your lips open, and the middle finger to rub against your hole only for a brief moment before he licks his lips and releases his own sigh of relief. “God, Sunghoon would be so jealous right now.”
You look down at him, wanting to ask him what the fuck he’s talking about and why he’d bring up Sunghoon right now, but you find yourself staring at him instead. Breath caught in your throat with the way his eyes meet yours before letting his tongue hang from his mouth as if presenting it to you in a cheeky way.
He’s so fast with it too, with the way he replaces his middle finger with his tensed tongue, forcing you to swallow your words and hold your breath even more. You can feel him lick and nibble against each of your lips before moving inward, flattening his tongue to lick one long, languid, and wet stripe up until meeting your clit. 
He wraps his lips around it, sucking once, hard, before releasing it and pulling back to look at you.
“This okay?”
Goddamn him for making you have to talk right now. You’re still trying to comprehend the fact that he said Sunghoon, fucking Sunghoon of all people would be jealous that he’s doing this right now. That’s definitely a question for later, because yeah, it’s fucking okay. 
More than okay. 
You nod to him, throwing your arm over your eyes and instinctively bucking your hips up towards his hovering mouth. 
“Oh, that was hot,” He groans out his compliment, watching the way you hide your face before he pulls his eyes back down and uses his fingers to spread your pussy open wider, enough to see your hole pulsate when he dips down to blow against it, “I can see how wet you’re getting, Is it because of me or is it just because someone is playing with your pussy?”
You half groan half moan at that, mostly because hearing these words from him is something that feels entirely too sexual. As if he hasn’t already tasted you, as if you’re not spread out by his fingers right now. You ignore his words, yet, your brain holds onto them with white knuckles and your hips buck toward him again.
“Not a talker, got it.” He notes, watching your hips chase his breath. 
He watches for much longer than you’d like for him to, and you’re about to lift up and accuse him of being just like the other guys but he shuts your thoughts off so fucking fast when you feel his lips on you again. 
His tongue explores every part of you, licking and sucking against areas you didn’t even know would feel good until his mouth lands against your clit again. This time, you can’t help it, you grind up and he hums at it as he braces your legs open just enough to skew his head and move his tongue back down. 
He’s slurping. Lost in the moment as he does it. Tasting you in full and getting a warm, pleasant feeling each time your legs try to close and your hips buck up for more. He…can’t believe this is finally happening. Fucking finally.
Unsure if you’d let him, he tries anyway. He stiffens his tongue, circling your hole before pressing just a bit, giving you just enough pressure that you feel frustrated. So frustrated that you’re the one who ends up finishing his attempt at something new. You reach down and lace your fingers in his hair, and let out a soft, needy little moan for him. 
That sound forces one from his chest too, he can’t help it, really. With the way you’re grabbing his hair and holding his head in place, pressing yourself against his mouth so much harder than before. Ah, he really, really loves doing this for you. 
To think any man would already be done? To think anyone could like, not wanna eat you out? Insanity. Stupid, stupid fucking men.
He can taste how wet you are now, truly taste it as he stretches your hole as much as he can with his tongue and another groan of his own. It’s probably embarrassing, truly, but he doesn’t care. 
Both of you are moaning at this point as you hold his head in place and grind your hips harder than you think you are. He loves it, you love it. So much that you really are barely comprehending that your best friend could do this the whole time?! And never told you until now?!
Jake is just as drunk on the moment as you are though. Totally lost in the scent and taste of you as he continues to lap away, constantly trying to prove that you can and will get off from his mouth alone. And honestly? It’s at the point that he figures he can use his fingers now too considering you let him spread you open with his tongue. What’s a little more gonna hurt, anyway?
The taste of you alone has him in heaven, cursing any man who didn’t take advantage of your pussy against their mouth. He can easily slip a finger into a hole this wet and needy, gasping in awe before glancing up at you. 
God, the way you immediately ride his finger, no huff or sound of irritation that he’s pulled his tongue back now. Your face. Fuck. 
He watches as you shamelessly chase the small amount of pleasure he can offer in terms of just head and fingering. He can imagine how hot you’d be without that shirt on, with your legs around his hips, with your mouth wrapped around him. You look blissed out, soaking his finger and keeping your hand in his hair, mindlessly grabbing and scratching at him. 
Making quick work, he goes back for your clit, circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves and noticing how you ride his finger harder. He can’t help but smirk against you when you do it either. 
The movement of your hips constantly humping against him is enough, and he can’t help but groan at the sound of your slick squelching out of you and warming his chin, he can’t fucking help but grind his own hips forward when you act like this. His cock is so painfully hard for you right now, at the taste of you, that all he can do is chase the mattress beneath him. Tensing his muscles and moaning against your clit shamelessly at the jolts of pleasure he gets from it. 
He slips another finger in with ease, feeling how much wetter you’ve gotten in the way the slide is filthy and audible. You groan out at that too, feeling his tongue flick relentlessly against your clit and only now moving your free hand from your face and trailing to your stomach. 
You can’t even talk, so you don’t. You lift your shirt up until you can at least rub against your nipples, just to heighten the pleasure your best friend is so graciously giving you.
His eyes roll back when you do that, only to fall back on you and get a frustrated grunt from him. He’s a bit annoyed that the shirt is still covering you despite your hand under it, fondling yourself. He’s thinking with his cock, so fucking aroused that he doesn’t think twice when he aggressively lifts your shirt up to your chin and watches the way your fingers poke and prod at yourself.
He inhales a sharp breath at the image, and his hips fuck harder against the mattress at that. His fingers speed up and now he’s focused. You feel him all over you from the waist down, his tongue flicking and lips sucking against your swollen clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you, your fingers heightening those sensations by playing with your own tits– then, oh, then you notice. 
Jake, you’re best fucking friend, is so goddamn horny that he’s dry humping against your bed and whining out moans against your clit. Probably to avoid asking for more, to avoid making you feel obligated to get him off too, to avoid anything you may not want or consent to. And that’s why he’s your best friend.
It doesn’t take long after that, your hips come to a stop as you watch him get himself off all while getting you off, and you find your orgasm bubbling up much faster than if you’d have imagined solely because of the image in front of you.
“Jake, you’re fucking whining.” You groan almost as needy as he does, rolling your hips up in a stutter. 
He was almost gonna stop, because yeah, he is whining. Gasping for air but only tasting you, only swallowing up the moans you give to him, only inhaling the dull scent of the fruity soap you used when you showered. But, you moan louder after you say that. You like it. You like seeing him act so desperate. So he continues, shamefully reaching one of his hands between himself and the bed and quickly shoving it down his pants, circling around his cock and continuing to fuck into it. 
If he thinks hard enough, you’re what he’s fucking right now, and technically, he is. With his fingers and mouth at least. When your hips stutter more, he fucks harder against his hand and holds his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get them. There, he sucks against your clit until you’re the one whining louder. 
You’re shocked at how quickly you’re getting off. Releasing a splash against him in a breathy, choked up sob. Nearly squeezing his head between your thighs to the point he almost misses the way you breathe out strings of praises toward him. But he hears them. 
He definitely heard you say that he looks sexy with your hand in his hair, and god, did he ride off of the fact that you encouraged him to get off with you. Regardless of if you knew if he could or not, regardless of if you knew his hand was providing just enough pleasure for him to do just that. 
There, as your orgasm subsides with his tongue still flicking your sensitive clit, you watch him writhe his hips against your mattress, his eyes slammed shut, and his breath coming out in pornographic moans. So this is what Jake looks like when he cums. It’s desperate, but somehow, it feels passionate too.
You’re all dazed after the fact, pussy pulsing and tingling from the loss of his lips and fingers once he pulls back and lays against your bed with a lazy smile. His pants are uncomfortable, but he doesn’t mind as he wipes his hand across his shirt and watches the way you catch your breath. 
“So,” He tries to say, clearing his throat. “I– um– hope that’s what you needed?”
You’re shy. You’re never fucking shy, especially towards Jake, but god. 
“Um, yeah,” you sigh out, lifting from the bed and looking back at him. Part of you wondering if that’s what it’s supposed to be like when someone gives you good head, or if that’s just…what it’s like when Jake gives head.
For some reason, you genuinely don’t think another man would ever eat you out to that level again. There’s no way, based on experience. 
“It was definitely what I needed.” 
He nods in a shy way, reminding himself that his pants are fucking nasty right now. So, he goes to stand up and extends a hand out to you. 
“Let’s go clean up.” 
You shake your head, not at all wanting to move from this bed. He nods again, pulling your shirt back down for you and leaning to look at you. 
“I’m gonna bring you something to clean up with, and I’m gonna shower.”
You smile at him, a bit dazed as you make yourself comfortable on your messy sheets as you think hard about the fact that this dopey motherfucker really never told you how good he was at this? Rude.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake looks all proud of himself when he comes back to your room and cuddles into bed with you much like he always has. 
“I didn’t expect to sleep over, I have work in the morning.” He whispers in a rasp against your back, curling around you like the perfect big spoon. 
You’re quick to turn on his work alarm on your phone, like you always do when he crashes during weeknights. Because, what best friend doesn’t have alarms set for each other anyway?
After a few more long moments of silence, you try to talk. Mostly because your brain is swimming with the fact that, like, you’re not sure but it’s just– wow. 
“Hey, um–”
“Hmm?” He hums out in a sleep-heavy voice.
“Did you actually enjoy doing that?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” His sudden louder voice causes you to jump, but you relax back into his gasp. 
“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”
“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” He responds with mock-confidence, shifting a bit and hugging you closer to him, as if to hide the way he’s trying to make this sound like a joke. For his own comfort, really.
You smile.
“And don’t tell other dudes my secrets.” He adds.
“I won't.”
Jake has his own smile from behind you, wondering if he really is just that good at eating pussy. The truth is, he’s done it a handful of times but he was just really really interested in doing it for you. For…reasons.
・・・・・・THIS WAS ORIGINALLY TWO PARTS, NOW IT’S ONE. YOU’RE WELCOME・���・・・・
“Hey, um,”
“Hmm?” Jake hummed out in a sleep-heavy voice.
“Did you actually enjoy doing that for me?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” He responded in a sudden, louder voice. 
“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”
“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” 
You remember the conversation that happened after he went down on you like it was yesterday, and he’s a goddamn liar. Nothing changed in your friendship with him, and he certainly doesn’t ask to eat you out all the time either. If anything, you’ve felt disappointed time and time again with the aftermath of that night.
It’s weighing on you in a strange way. At first, the weeks following the first and apparently, only time Jake went down on you, you almost expected him to ask for a repeat. You wanted to return the favor. You wanted him to ask but he never did. Even when he came over to hang out, even when you tried to lay down hints.
Nothing changed.
In fact, he doesn’t even talk about it. He doesn’t look at you as if he’s tasted you, and he doesn’t act like he came in his palm against your bed, right in front of you. He’s just…Jake. Sweet, caring, aloof, Jake. And you’re just you. Except you want to be someone else at this point. Someone that he does feel differently around after that.
Maybe you weren’t a memorable event for him when it comes to intimacy. Maybe he prefers to pretend it never happened? Maybe he was really just doing you a favor and intending for it to never go past the initial act. Even with his sweet words after the fact. Maybe, that was just to reassure you so it wouldn’t be awkward. 
You’re a version of you who wants to know what the fuck he’s thinking about. Did it taste bad? Did he get cold feet about it all? Arguably, if things did get weird after what happened, you’d feel more comfortable than you do with the situation as it stands. 
It is weird now, but only because it’s not weird for him. 
Even now, as you lay across the same bed where he had his head nestled between your legs, you can almost feel the tingle of what it felt like. The way his hair tickled your thighs, and the way his fingers laid against the flesh of your legs. The sun is beaming in through your windows and it still doesn’t feel as warm as it did when he cuddled against you that night. It’s been weeks and your heart is sick for him by this point. Sick with confusion, angst, lust, maybe even love if you think hard enough. 
You miss him a lot more than before as you throw your hand up to your face in a gentle slap as if to knock yourself out of it. This is insane. Every day you wake up feeling this way, thinking of him, and where you stand with him. It wasn’t like this at first, you truly expected him to come back for more and now you’re just sitting here with a loop of reasons as to why he never did. 
Insane. You’ve gotten head from so many people and didn’t think twice about them the next day, Jake is different though. You knew he would be too.
Why is Jake any different? Why do you miss him so badly right now? Why couldn’t he pick up on it either? Even worse, why do you feel like doing that with him was a mistake?
He’s with his parents for the weekend, and you’re here still thinking about shit that should have been released with your orgasm. 
You haven’t gone on any dates since that day, you haven’t met up with any one other than him to hang out, and at this point you’re starting to feel a little pathetic for falling in so deep. It’s entirely one sided, he makes that very clear.
So, naturally, you hop up with the confidence of a damn lion and decide that today, it ends. You will stop making it weird between the two of you, if he has even noticed anyway. You’re gonna get dressed, look hot as fuck, and sit on your couch swiping left and right until you find a hot piece of man that’s willing to take you out tonight.
That’s when something dawns on you. You remember Jake briefly mentioning Sunghoon to you, which seemed more like an implication if anything at the time. 
Why would Sunghoon be jealous of what happened? You can admit to being attracted to him but it’s not like the two of you hang out often or anything, and it’s also kind of a rule for yourself that you don’t fuck within the friendgroup. Jake was an exception, solely because that’s your best friend. Or, well, was your best friend. 
Now though? Who cares about these little rules you create for yourself? You need a confidence boost. You need your mind to be taken off of this little spiral you keep falling into. Most of all, you need to be proven wrong that you can still get off without it being him. 
So, texting Sunghoon? Easy. 
Thankfully, Sunghoon texting you back at lightning speed seemed even easier for him. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Well, Sunghoon sure did a great job at getting your mind off of Jake for the past couple of hours. 
You lay here in his bed, feeling your body tingle from the sensation of just how well he lived up to the promise of a good time. For hours he touched you, licked against you, fucked you. And yeah, you did fucking enjoy it. 
But why now? Why did you only just decide to give Sunghoon a shot? Why are you lying in his bed, with his heavy arms thrown across you as he snores gently behind you, feeling the need to cry? Why do you wish it was Jake, your best friend who seemed so eager to please and then suddenly leaped ten feet back as if he never suggested it in the first place? 
Your brain is confused despite your body relaxing itself from the state of bliss you were able to experience. You really did enjoy this time with Sunghoon and think that maybe, if you continue to make late night visits to him, the need for your best friend will weaken in time. 
God, if only Jake would just talk about it.
And you fall asleep thinking about that. About how you’ve let your feelings weaken you to the point that it’s genuinely hard to enjoy being pleasured by someone who actually has the capability. 
And, well, you wake up much the same, except Sunghoon was quite quick with his fingers upon waking up himself. Showing you that even if the person you want doesn’t have a thing to do with you, he sure does. 
“Good morning,” He rasps in a sleepy voice, fingers already traveling down your stomach as he hugs up against you from behind. “Glad you finally came through for me.” 
You quirk a brow. Right, Jake is the whole reason you're here. If not for mentioning him, at least.
“I finally came through?” You chuckle, your body jolting at the ticklish sensation of his lips brushing the back of your neck. “You knew I was single, why didn’t you call me?” 
You feel a harsher kiss against your neck, and his fingers only travel further down now. 
“Bro code.” He whispers, dipping his fingers between your still naked thighs. “I’m not overstepping if you’re the one asking for it.” He slides his fingers gently back and forth between your legs, trying to work you up. “And you did.” 
You think hard about that. Bro code, overstepping limits, not coming onto someone unless they do first solely because someone must have asked him not to. And you’d think even harder about who that someone might be, but instead your brain is quickly thrown into the morning sex routine Sunghoon must offer to all of his lovers. 
You enjoy it too, the small moments of bliss where you’re not in your head about what you could have possibly done wrong with Jake for you to end up feeling this way. It’s a brief moment of numbness though, feeling his fingers pleasure you gently can only do so much to quiet your thoughts. 
“Are you saying one of your friends had dibs on me or something?” You laugh in a half-joke, arching your back to rub your ass up and against the bigger and warmer man behind you. 
“You could say that, I’m assuming he missed his chance though–” Sunghoon whispers snidely, now satisfied with how you already drip for him and sliding one of his fingers into you. His other hand, being used to hike one of your legs up and against his hip to open you up for him. “You wouldn’t be here doing this if he didn’t.” 
You clench around his finger unintentionally, pretending you don’t know who you’re both referring to. Mostly because there’s no way in hell it’s your best friend, seeing as how he’s acting like you don’t exist outside of platonic friendship with him. Then again, who else could it be? Jay? Heeseung? Fucking Jungwon? As fucking if. 
“I guess he did miss his chance–” You breathe, now allowing yourself to give into the lazy and slow pleasure being offered. “Deeper.” 
And he listens. Sunghoon goes deeper and deeper with one finger, then two, then three, up until you slip his fingers out of you and plead through your body to have more. Deeper still, holding you from behind, plunging in as if to intentionally fuck the confusion out of you. As if to, maybe, prove that Jake isn’t the only man who can please you now. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
When you eventually find yourself walking through your front door, you do feel better. Sunghoon did have some type of capability to make you feel as desired as Jake did. After all, it’s not often that you sleep over with a man, better yet get fucked again as soon as you wake up with him. 
Even so, you know Jake will be back tomorrow, wanting to hang out yet again as if nothing happened. Thankfully, with Sunghoon around, maybe you can pretend alongside him. Maybe even forget it ever happened. 
You can argue that for the first time, you’re even a bit annoyed when you see his name pop up in your notifications with a call as if you’re not right in the middle of texting Sunghoon. It’s not that you were trying to go back over to his house or anything, but man, he sure is trying to get you to come back for a third round already. 
Maybe you just like when people are eager to please you, or maybe you don’t like to feel as if you’re the one chasing another person. Still, you answer Jake, seemingly releasing all of this resentment you’ve built up for him in an instant. 
“What?” You huff into the phone, feeling it vibrate with another text from Sunghoon and wanting nothing more than to see what his fourth reason would be for you to come over not even two hours after you left. 
“What?” Jake responds in confusion  to you. “What do you mean ‘what’?” 
“I mean what do you want? I’m busy.” You huff again with a roll of your eyes, flopping back on your bed. 
“Oh god, something happened.” Jake groans, though he was simply calling you because he missed your voice. “What’s wrong?” 
“No, not really. Was just trying to figure out what I’m doing tonight when you rudely interrupted me.” 
Something is off, Jake can feel it. Your voice has a bite to it, one that feels like you’re mad at him. Not to mention, he knows what you mean when you say you’re trying to find something to do for the night. He tries to reserve his feelings though, despite wanting that something to be him. 
“Oh, I know there’s an event at one of the clubs downtown tonight I think. Jay mentioned it–” He pauses briefly to hear another annoyed breath from you. “You’re not gonna go with him?” 
“Nah,” You wave off dismissively. “I think I’m just gonna go hang out with Sunghoon.” 
You don’t notice at all the brief and panicked silence for a solid second and a half before Jake reacts.
“Wait, what?” He says quickly after managing to process those words, trying not to sound as panicked as he knows he feels. “Sunghoon? Why?!” 
God, he knew he shouldn’t have said anything about Sunghoon that day, but his confidence was overflowing and he couldn’t help but boast at the time. It’s come back to shoot him in the dick, knowing full well that Sunghoon has been trying to get you into bed since he fucking met you. Hearing you ask for him in this context is something that makes his blood run cold. 
“Relax, I was with him last night. It’s kind of like, maybe gonna be a normal thing now.” 
You refuse to pick up on Jake’s tone. He had all the time in the world to make you feel something other than confusion, and this is just fucking petty at this point. He clearly doesn’t want to have anything with you, so why in the hell should you just sit around hoping? Waiting? 
“Sunghoon? You want to fuck Sunghoon?” He asks in a lower tone, trying to convince himself that he has to be mishearing you. You can hear him shuffle around and close a door behind him, showing that he doesn’t want his parents to hear him. But the frustration showing blatantly in his voice is somehow…satisfying. 
“I already did. I figured he would show me a good time since no one else can, and he did.” You shrug with slight disobedience. Resentment bubbling up in your gut to the extent that you almost want to grill him for having any type of opinion about it. 
Jake hangs on those words for a second. “Since no one else can.” 
He really thought he was the one who could do it for you. 
“Yeah, but–”  Jake starts, feeling like a child almost in the way he protests despite not being in a position to have a say in who you sleep with. “You know what? Nevermind. Do what you want.” He adds blankly, hanging up before you can get another word in. 
Honestly, he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong because you acted like he was fully capable of doing everything right. Hanging out with him consistently after the fact, not making it weird, flirting with him, asking him to sleep over. 
He wasn’t sure if he should ask you for more or if he should ask you to be his girlfriend first. The whole reason he’s with his parents right now is because he felt the need to run home to his Mom for girl advice. Embarrassing? Yes, but he really wanted to do things right. He cares about you. 
He needed just one single weekend away, and the second he’s gone you’re out fucking other dudes? Fucking Sunghoon? 
By now, that asshole is probably feeling like he’s on top of the world for getting to touch you. Not even he has done what Sunghoon managed to do with you by now and he can’t help but feel pissed about it. 
Whether you’re his or not, Sunghoon never should have been a fucking option. 
So, he calls you right back, pushing back the feeling of how pathetic it seems considering he’s the one who hung up on you. Then, when you don’t pick up, he immediately feels his stomach drop. 
You must be talking to Sunghoon, you must be setting up a time and place to meet with him. And Jake has heard that Sunghoon knows how to fuck. Other people have said he’s good in bed. Surely, if you’ve already been with him once and you’re still wanting to go back to him, those other people weren’t lying. 
To Jake, it feels like he’s losing you to his own friend with each passing second, and it’s weighing so heavy that spamming your phone with calls to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing right now feels like the right thing to do. In fact, it feels like it is the best thing in the world to do. 
He calls again. You don’t answer.
Again.
“What?!” You answer, annoyed. 
“Why would you even want Sunghoon?! Is he really that much better than I am?” He doesn’t think before he says it, because if he did, he wouldn’t have been able to say it at all. 
It’s his turn to experience that awkward silence because in all fairness, you don’t know how to respond to that. You feel annoyed now, you feel confused and quite frankly, blind sided. Since when did he care? 
“What’s that supposed to mean? You came onto me once and then never followed up.” You dead-pan at yourself in the mirror across your bedroom, speaking into the phone with a voice that seems scolding. “I don’t see why you’re mad that I’m hanging out with Sunghoon. We aren’t dating, Jake.”
“Since when? Who said I didn’t want to do it again?” Jake argues back in a whispered voice, showing you that he still can’t be as loud as he’d like to be. He chooses to ignore that last sentence though, pretending as if it doesn’t strike him in the center of the heart. 
“Nobody! That’s the thing, you haven’t said anything about it. Not that you want to, not that you don’t. You’re just being you and it’s driving me up a fucking wall.”
Pause.
“You’re mad because I didn’t make it weird?” It’s like his brain clicks. 
“Pretending it didn’t happen somehow makes it worse.” You lower your voice, ignoring the string of texts Sunghoon is sending you and listening closely to what Jake might say next. Your heart is racing through this hushed argument, and it feels good to admit that you kept thinking about it, even if he hasn’t.
“I wasn’t pretending that it didn’t happen,” He pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “I just wasn't sure what the next step was.”
You’re fucking appalled.
“Jake, I have been flirting with you since it happened because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’re the one who didn’t make any moves, so I figured you wanted it to end there.” You sigh loudly, but somehow feel a bit lighter. “Do you have any idea how that fucked with my confidence?”
Jake sighs along with you on the other end of the line. 
“That’s why I was annoyed earlier, and that’s why I’m going to Sunghoon’s tonight.”
“What?” Jake’s voice raises a bit higher. “Still?!” 
It’s the fact that he’s trying to explain himself. Had he known that you were confused by his lack of, um, touching you, he would have done it every day since it happened! Yet, you’re still considering Sunghoon an option? Knife to the heart, honestly. 
Or maybe he’s not being clear enough with you about this. 
You, on the other hand, nod your head as you hum a confirmation to him, smiling and wondering if this conversation will turn into an event that would, perhaps, have you cancel the hook-up with Sunghoon.
“Why? Are you jealous?” You pry.
“You really called him, and now I’m just sitting here in my old room trying to find a way to get to you before he does….again.” An inhale. “ Yes! I’m fucking jealous!” 
You remain silent, trying to pretend that your pettiness isn’t solely to confirm what he seems to be implying to you. Then, an unintentional chuckle leaves your lips. 
“Why are you laughing?!” His voice is raised again, and he doesn’t seem to stop spilling what he needs to say. “I wanted to do that for you for years and you somehow still didn’t know?” He pauses. “I always made it weird between us, what? You thought I treated all of my friends like that?”
You just listen, feeling your heart beat in time with each word he speaks. Strings of sentences like, “I’m going to kick his ass.” and “You thought I’d just eat you out as a friend?! You’re insane.” and “I would have come home last night if you wanted to feel good so badly, why did you have to go see him, of all people?” 
The confirmation of Jake being the friend who forbade Sunghoon from making a move on you is right there, clear as day. 
“Ah, so the Jake I know isn’t the Jake everyone else knows?” You respond, trying to force the tingling feeling in your gut to calm itself. Hearing him be so blatant to you has your heart doing flips, and it’s not an easy task to make it stop.
“Of-fucking-course not!” He rolls his eyes, you can definitely tell. “You had me wrapped around your pinky from day one.”
“And you really thought that, with the way you seemed so uninterested–” You pause, processing his words. “I would have asked you to come home from your parent’s house to get me off? For what? Funsies? You thought I'd be brave enough or selfish enough to ask such a thing?” 
Jake sighs deeply, seemingly fed up with the situation. 
“It wouldn’t be because you are selfish.” He breathes out, almost angrily. “And for the last time, I’m not uninterested. I was just trying to do things right. I don’t just want to fuck you, you know.” 
“And you didn’t think to tell me until weeks after you ate me out?” You smile harder, trying to contain the heat flushing over your cheeks. “Until after I thought I had a pH imbalance and maybe you were just grossed out by me?!” 
“I’m genuinely shocked you didn’t know already. Made me think you weren’t interested enough to like–” He pauses, not wanting to be too telling. “I guess waiting and being polite isn’t really your style. I should have known that though.”
You let him continue, because you can tell he’s simply taking breaths and small pauses to figure out how to express his thoughts to you. 
“You can’t tell me that over the years, you never once noticed how often I stared at you.” He lowers his voice again, softening it to an extent that you actually feel the butterflies fly from your belly to your chest. 
”The fact that I jumped in head first and offered to do that for you? I didn’t think I had to tell you at this point…”He breathes out a chuckle through the line this time. “And for the record, I couldn’t get enough of it. I was just trying to like– I don’t know.”
You listen to him breathe deeply, again. 
“I didn’t want you to think I was in it just for the sex, I guess.”
There. There it is. You’re nearly kicking your feet, feeling him confirm feelings and erase any hint of doubt within you. Despite never truly noticing that he treats you differently compared to his other friends, despite never thinking too hard about the way he looks at you. 
“You acted like it wasn’t a big deal, Jake. I’m not joking. If that’s how you act when you like someone, you shouldn’t blame me for not noticing.”
“I literally tongue fucked you.” He dead-pans. “Friends don’t just do that.”
“I thought we were friends who could do that.” You argue. “But I guess you’re not quite looking to just remain friends, are you?” 
“No,” Jake sighs. “Mom told me I needed to take you out on some extravagant date and express my undying love for you with a handful of red roses, but I guess this is just how it’s gonna be. After all, this is you.” 
“And this is you.” You confirm. 
“I was going to come home tomorrow and try to lie our way to the restaurant, which I still can, if you want. You kind of fucked up my plan though.” 
You pause at his words, suddenly feeling like shit for not realizing sooner. In your defense though, if he really did like you from day one, you didn’t exactly have a chance to see how he would have acted without feelings. The Jake you know is your best friend, and someone you trusted with everything, you thought he treated everyone as well as he treated you. That’s why, when he didn’t change, you couldn’t read him anymore. 
Then again, all of this could have been fucking avoided if he had just voiced it to you. 
“Romance is dead and it’s your fault.” Jake tries to joke, his soft tone somehow coming out even softer as he waits for some type of response from you. 
“So, are we done fighting?” You ask meekly, tapping your finger against your phone and looking up at the ceiling with a smile that by now, you can’t escape. “Since you’ve just expressed your undying love for me and I very much wouldn’t mind going on a date with you so we can work this out face to face?” 
“Are you still going to fuck Sunghoon?” 
You laugh. 
“Oh yeah, for sure���” To his silence, you immediately take it back. “Oh my god, relax. It’s a joke.” 
“Get better jokes, asshole.” 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“What the fuck?” Jake deadpans into the phone, his heart beating far too fast for his health, but vibing with it anyway because by tomorrow night, he’ll be next to you again. “You seriously had sex with her?!” 
“Hey, she’s the one who called me.” Sunghoon shrugs as he listens. “To be fair, Jake, I did tell her that someone else had dibs on her.”
Jake slaps his forehead and rolls his eyes. 
“You’re such a dick– I told you at least three hundred times that I like her! I don’t have dibs.” He gripes, trying to pretend that he’s not imagining Sunghoon with you, the person he wants the most. 
“Damn right you don’t, because she seemed to have a great t–” 
“Sunghoon, stop. I don’t want to know what happened, but like, stop texting her.” 
Sunghoon’s brow raises in curiosity. 
“Ah, did you finally make a move?”
If there’s anything Jake knows Sunghoon won’t do, it’s go for a woman that is actually unavailable. He has his fun, and he’s not one to turn anyone down if he has an interest in them, bro code be damned. And yeah, he’s still a little pissed at him for hooking up with you…but, it is true, Jake made you feel like he wasn’t even an option in his attempts to be a gentleman. 
Still, boundaries need to be set now. Real boundaries.
“I did, and I would really appreciate it if you back off. I’m trying to make something out of this, you know?”
Sunghoon lightens up, sighing at his loss of a would be fuck-buddy that seemed more promising than some he’s had in the past. 
“Jesus, you’re serious about her aren’t you?” He smirks as he speaks, feeling proud of Jake for finally stepping up for himself. “I mean, I can totally see why. Please excuse me as I mourn that sweet, sweet, pu-” 
“Sunghoon.” Jake warns. “Shut the fuck up.” 
“Relax, jesus.” Sunghoon plays it cool, though he actually is mourning it a little bit. “Good on you though. I’ll back off, don’t worry.” 
Jake rolls his eyes yet again, his love-hate relationship with Sunghoon becoming more fond than ever by this point. Only because the confidence he had in himself before all of this wasn’t entirely where it needed to be. It’s true that he wasn’t exactly a pussy eating god before, nor could he even say he’s amazing at sex but, when it comes to you, he can’t help but be excited. He wants to do it all, be it all for you. 
Never in his life has he eaten pussy like that, and never in your life have you felt a mouth so eager to please between your legs. 
Sunghoon could have been something, but he couldn’t have been Jake, ever. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The day couldn’t go by any slower than it already has. 
Jake comes home tonight, and by home, you mean to your apartment where he doesn’t live. 
Your mind goes in loops on what could possibly happen. Scenarios of him getting cold feet and ignoring that any of this happened at all again. Scenes of him unlocking your door, closing in on you, and kissing you before you can even say “hello”. Images of his hands on you, his mouth on you, what it would feel like if he were to…well, oh.
You snap yourself out of it, every bad scenario in your head gets replaced with one where you’ve got Jake working himself on and inside of you. It’s making you feel hot, insane, and entirely too horny for the proposed date night full of talking that needs to be had first. 
Then you freeze, your hand on the handle of your mug as you wonder a bit too hard. 
What if he doesn’t show up at all? 
You did run off the second he left the city and fuck one of your mutual friends. Arguably, you were equally as bad at communicating with him as he was to you during the past few weeks. Sure, you flirted, but was that even enough when he literally put his tongue inside of you “as a friend”? 
God, he’d have every right to not show up. To move on, to never speak to you again. 
You’ve been so stupid. Both of you have, stumbling together but apart into something neither of you could even begin to navigate. For you? Sex is easy. Feelings though? That’s where it gets complicated. Yet, still, you find yourself more willing than ever to let these feelings roam free if he accepts them at face value. 
Solely because of how shitty it felt when you were trying to pretend that Jake was nothing but a one time thing for his sake. 
And when the time comes, after hours of brooding, getting worked up, and feeling insane, you’re looking like a mess when he knocks on your door. So much for looking good for him. You’re an absolute fucking wreck when you open that door and dead-pan stare at him and his bags. 
“Hi,” He smiles, not quite making eye contact because he really is kind of embarrassed by all of this. “I’m here.” 
You step back from the door, eyes remaining on him. 
“You’re here.” You say quietly, watching him step into your apartment and drop his bags. 
You feel his breath before you hear his voice. So much closer than just moments before, right up against your ear, and his arms wrapping tightly around you. 
“Felt like I was gone for too long–” He whines slightly against you, breathing in a breath and taking in your scent. “Didn’t know I could miss you like that.” 
You fucking melt. Out of all of those scenarios and fantasies in your head, this wasn’t one of them. Which goes to show that Jake is the one person in this world who can surprise you time and time again. You’ve hugged him like this hundreds of times, but this one, oh this one. He feels so close after feeling so fucking far away.
“You were gone for two days,” You smile, nuzzling against him and gripping his waist in your own hug. 
“Two days too long, though.” You feel him smile, that little upturn of his lips pushing his cheek up and against you as he chuckles and pulls back.  “We don’t have a lot of time, but we can still make it to the restaurant if you still want to go? I can shower when we get back.”
You pull back, offering him a small nod and feeling a bit let down. You wanted more, especially after that hug. The fact that he can contain himself right now feels isolating. Are you the only one who has a vibrating brain right now? He really wants to have the conversation at the restaurant? 
He really wants to do this the right way?
You look like shit, but arguably he might think he looks worse considering the long trip back to you. Still, the restaurant is the chosen option to have this conversation, and you’re ready to get it over with so that finally the two of you can take a step forward. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The restaurant is nice. There’s a buzz of conversations surrounding the two of you but most of it feels muffled because the only sound you can truly hear is Jake’s hushed and awkward attempts to get the ball rolling. 
“So, I guess that’s why I went to my parent’s house. It’s embarrassing, I know–” He says before you cut him off. 
“Tell me how you felt the past few weeks when we were together.” You say boldly, wanting so badly to have the confirmation that he really does want this, and that he suffered much like you did.
You watch a fan of rosy tint cross his cheeks as he breaks eye contact with you, looking to the table and then back up at you. 
“Okay, um–” He stiffens a bit, glancing around to make sure no one is looking or listening in. “When we weren’t together, it was a lot easier for me to think, but when we were together, I could only really think about one thing.” He admits, nodding to himself. 
You look at him curiously before you see his eyes light up in panic.
“No! No, no. Not like, sex…” He looks down. “I mean, yeah maybe sex too but mostly I just couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make you want me more than anyone else.” 
Your heart swells at his panicked save, and then the words that follow. 
“I think I already did want you more than anyone else.” You admit back to him. “Even if I didn’t know I had feelings until you did that to me– I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
He smiles, reaching over the table as if to ask for your hand. 
“What about you? What did you think about when we were together after that night?” He asks for his own confirmation now. 
“Sex. Mostly, I guess. I felt like no one else would ever be able to make me feel that good again.” You look away, feeling ashamed and seen. “Goddamn, I sound so dramatic.”
Jake snorts, laughing at how he should have expected this but the confidence boost is a happy surprise to him. 
“To be fair though, Jake, I think I had my feelings and my lust for you mixed up.” You continue. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still feel both of those things every time I see you, or even think of you.”
“Feelings and lust?” He nods with a smile and wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes glistening in the warm lighting of the restaurant. 
You nod in confirmation, side eyeing the waitress who walks over to take down your order. 
Both of you are somehow dissociated outside of each other, there’s no way you’re not because you don’t recall what you ordered, nor what he ordered, and he appears to be feeling much the same. The moment she walks away, he’s continuing. 
“I was really that good, huh?” A smirk from him, and a nod from you. 
“What about right now then? How do you feel when you look at me?” He follows up, looking down at the table. 
“Both of those things.” You dead-pan, squeezing your legs together as you look at him and feel the warmth radiating from even this far away. The confirmation of feelings is enough by itself to have your thoughts in the gutter about him, especially after weeks of wanting him. 
Especially after having to be in this stupid fucking restaurant in the first place.
He quirks a brow before lowering his voice, his eyes drooping a bit. 
“Do you have any fucking idea how badly I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you?” 
God, there he is. That same bold best friend who originally suggested eating you out in the first place. Not entirely unfounded that he said it, but fuck, your cheeks are searing. 
“Jake, we’re in public.” You warn, knowing damn well that you’ve not been able to think of anything else either, but for the sake of the foundation of this relationship, you want to tame yourself a little bit.
“Since we started hanging out, every fucking time.” He continues, ignoring your warning. “I would get so mad when you’d go to your little hook-ups. Sometimes I even wondered if you did it intentionally to piss me off.” 
Your cheeks are still hot, but now there’s a bit of guilt filling you. 
“You really had no idea how badly I wanted that to be me?” He continues with his streak of confidence, unintentionally dirty talking to you solely because he, genuinely, cannot deny his attraction or his feelings for you by this point. “Even right now, I want nothing more than to have you to myself.”
You pause, the guilt leaving you in an instant as it’s fully replaced with Jake’s eagerness to have you in full, finally. 
“Why–” You sigh, dropping your head into your hands to hide your face from him. “Why are we at this restaurant again?” 
You feel his hand reach back over to you, removing your hands from your face and dipping down to look at you. 
“It’s so fucking hard to contain myself right now. I can admit that.” He whispers, blinking at you. “If you feel satisfied with where we stand, I’d be more than happy to leave this table now and prove everything to you.”
An instant nod from you, and an instant confirmation from Jake. 
You’re both out of the restaurant before a single sip of water, before a single visual inspection of the forgotten food the two of you ordered, and before any doubt could creep in to ruin the electrifying atmosphere you were indulging in with him. 
For Jake, his self control wavers with each passing moment as you sit next to him in the car. You look so calm as he drives as quickly and safely as possible back to your apartment, shaming himself for ever considering the two of you go in the first place. Still, the outcome is somehow more satisfying. Both of you wanting to leave just so you can truly be alone together? He couldn’t ask for a better night. 
Still, your calmness contrasts the way his insides vibrate the closer he gets to your place, and he wonders how the fuck you manage to do it. If you were to simply glance at him at the right moment, you’d see his entire body melt in the fantasies of what the two of you may be willing to do tonight. 
Years worth of pining in his head and heart are bubbling up now. You’re inviting him in, you’re accepting him, you’re wanting him back. 
What he doesn’t know though, is that you are quite literally imagining yourself wrapped in chains to this seat. Why? Because if it weren’t for those astral chains, you’d be on top of him in an instant, reassuring him that if there’s anything in the world you’ve wanted within the past few weeks, it’s him. You’d be apologizing for never taking note of his feelings before, and kissing away all of the moments he wished he could have had with you before, replacing them with very real, firm, hot kisses. 
Thankfully though, you manage to tame the beast from within and somehow, so does he. Up until you get through your apartment door and the electrifying atmosphere sizzles away in an instant. 
You expected to have the confidence to, quite literally, jump on him as soon as your door closed. Instead, you find yourself standing in awe at the entryway. 
Jake, on the other hand, would love nothing more than to have you right this moment, speeding and parking crooked be damned, he will not allow it just yet. 
“Listen,” He reaches out to you, pulling you up and against his chest. “I need to shower before I let myself do anything.” 
You breathe a sigh of relief, noting that the awkwardness came from the fact that Jake’s energy is seeping out of him, lust and worry for possibly not being as clean as he’d like to be for this. 
It feels strange, actually. You can imagine you’ve had many hook-ups with men who wouldn’t even consider a shower before inviting you over. 
“Hurry up then, before I decide to call Sungh-” 
“Don’t you fucking dare make that joke right now,” Jake squeezes you tighter against you, hating himself for constantly bringing up reasons to wait. 
“If we are going to like,” He pauses, struggling to say it out of pure nervousness that you might change your mind. “You know, be exclusive, Sunghoon’s name is forbidden.”
You chuckle against him before shoving him back in a playful way. 
“Deal. Now, can you fucking hurry?” You roll your eyes playfully, internally a little thankful for the short moments you will have to prepare yourself for this. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Damn this shower for feeling so good. Jake could fall asleep under the warmth if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been half-hard this entire time and truly fighting with himself on how to approach this situation.
It’s kind of awkward, actually. Knowing exactly what the two of you are about to do but having to wait even for fifteen minutes makes it seem like you both have a scheduled hook up and nothing more. 
It’s not a hook up though. Jake is finally where he’s always wanted to be with you, in your shower priming his body to go absolutely fucking insane on you. Before, when he ate you out, he really was controlling himself. He wanted to do more with you so bad, and now? God…
He’s flushed as he finally makes his way out of the shower, length still stiffening and softening with each thought that passes. He can barely look at himself in the mirror without wanting to laugh at how embarrassing he truly is. 
You’d probably laugh too, and he’d love the sound of it. 
Then, he’s faced with a dilemma. 
You, on the other hand, find yourself lying quietly in your bedroom after doing your best to fix the mess of yourself for whatever Jake may offer. Waiting for him, and ultimately wondering what the fuck is taking him so long when you finally hear the bathroom door open.
Faintly, you can smell your shampoo and body wash that he used as you hear him make his way to the living room and not find you. 
Then, you hear him making his way to your room. He doesn’t open the door any further than it already was and instead, stands behind it quietly before muttering out. 
“Um,” He starts, putting his hand on your door and only peeking his head in. “I wasn’t sure if there was a point to putting my clothes on–” 
Fucking pause.
God, he must sound so stupid saying that, especially after looking into your room and seeing you lying against your bed changed into the exact same pajamas you put on the night he initially made a move on you through the guise of friendship. 
Well, now it’s not even a question and he was right to assume that all he needed to do was wrap a towel around his waist and come to you. 
You watch his eyes travel your body curiously, a smile forming on his face.
“If you’re wondering if I put panties on this time too,” You smile, reaching a hand out as if to invite him to open that door and come have at it. “I didn’t.”
That’s all it takes, really, to have him pushing the door open and not-so-calmly making his way to your bed. 
Seeing his naked and damp chest is one thing, but smelling your scent all over him is another, especially when the first thing he does is practically envelop you with his body and plant his lips straight on your own. 
The first real kiss. Despite his lips having been on you before, you melt into it and find yourself forgetting how differently he’s acting now compared to before. He was so confident, so cocky, and now he’s almost docile. Meek. 
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” He leans back to whisper, adjusting his body so that he’s more comfortable and leaning down on one arm while the other holds your cheek. “Can’t believe you let me eat you out before ever letting me actually kiss you.”
Your face heats up at the comment, making you feel more scandalous than you ever truly tried to be. But he’s not wrong, and you regret making him feel like eating you out was the only way to get to your heart.
Strangely though, it was the way to your heart. Him doing that for you practically threw you into the deep end in search for more, from him, specifically. 
“Can’t believe you decided that you should just eat me out rather than admit your feelings for me.” You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss against him again and pretending you can’t feel the weight of his length under the loosely knotted towel on his waist. 
“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” He says through the kisses, quickly losing the ability to speak when you lick against his bottom lip and, ultimately, take control of the act.
He wonders what your mouth could do to him. His entire body reacts to the way your tongue flicks and licks against his own, it takes everything in him to try and control himself from pushing too far too soon– until he realizes that there is no reason to control himself now. 
Never has making out gotten him this turned on, and it’s not a surprise because it’s you. 
He half moans, half chuckles into your kiss when he does it, pressing his hips down and against your thigh much like he did previously to the very mattress he’s got you lying against. 
“There’s so much I want to do,” He finally admits, pulling back from the kiss and hanging his head to feel how his cock reacts to the flesh of your thigh. “Please, let me do all of it.” 
You sigh, somehow feeling a pang of arousal radiate between your legs despite not yet being touched there. The weight of him on you is enough, and all you can do is nod and await the ways he intends to relieve himself with you.
Hours of head, he could give. Even more hours of burying his cock between those pretty lips and watching you return the favor for him. His confidence grows as your body moves under him, waiting, waiting, waiting for what he will do next. 
First, he plants another kiss to you, pressing his hips hard against your thigh with a breathy sigh before moving his lips down, against your neck. 
At the same time, his hands work their way up your loose shirt, cupping one breast in his palm and easily teasing your nipple with his fingers. He works his lips down the center of your clothed chest, down to your stomach, and then up again. His nose nudges your shirt up with each kiss, until his lips replace his fingers and he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth.
You’ve never felt so wanted in your life with the way he appears to be savoring you. Leaving his own pleasure neglected once again, his entire focus is on you. You arch your back up a bit, hands shooting to his head and cradling it there against your breast. 
He groans when you scratch against the nape of his neck, wiggling your hips under him and chasing the sensation that his mouth manages to send to your clit. He groans again when your nipple remains firm between his lips, and he begins to nibble. 
And this time, he moans when he manages to trail one of his hands down just to see how much it will take of this to get you wet. He tucks one hand under your shorts, only to find that you’re already dripping, soaking his fingers with a mere single slide up your folds.
“Fuck,” He sighs as if it’s a compliment when he pops his mouth off of you, flicking his head up to look at your already dazed eyes. “Already?” 
You glance away, embarrassed by how badly you want the man who was once your best friend, and is now….more than that. You can feel his fingers graze and gently play around with the heat your body has already released for him, rolling your eyes back each time he pretends he’s going to offer pressure to your clit. 
He’s fucking teasing you, and you know it.
He knows it too, because of fucking course he is. After years of torture, wondering if you’d ever manage to get wet at all with the thought of him, here you are, dripping under him when all he’s done is kiss you and fondle your nipples. 
Briefly, he remembers how needy your hips were when his tongue was seeping into you. He remembers the taste of each thrust you pressed against his face, and the smell of how badly you needed him at the time. 
As used as he was by you that night, he wants nothing more now than to pull those same desperate moans from you, to taste the wet inside of you that no man ever managed to release for you. 
“I feel like I’m going insane,” He finally breathes out, still toying with your folds and keeping an eye on the way your eyes glare back at him. “I want you so fucking bad–” He stutters now, instantly sliding his fingers into you and scooting down on the bed at lightening speed, pressing your loose shorts to the side just to get the taste of you against his lips again.
Your legs instantly shoot over his shoulders, and one of his hands reaches up to hug your thigh against him as his tongue immediately laps at every dip and crease of your cunt. His eyes nearly roll back at being able to experience this again, his fingers holding firm without a single movement just so he can feel your body confirm that you want him just as much. 
The clench around his fingers are enough, and he licks around them only for a moment before returning his lips to your clit and giving you all he’s got. 
All he can feel is your legs tightening around his head, nearly lifting your ass up and off of the bed, all he can hear is his own moans vibrating through him each time he hears you react. 
Arguably, even after that brief moment of teasing from him, feeling his mouth so eager, much like before, sent you straight into a blissed state and made you forget about the restaurant, the shower, the weeks of pining before this. His mouth is so warm, and his vibrating moans sooth your clit through its desperate attempts to beg for more. 
You can’t help the fact that your legs hug his head, or the way your hands shoot down much like before, scratching through his hair before dropping down and spreading yourself open with two fingers solely to expose your clit in full to the assault of his tongue he’s giving you. 
He missed you so much, he missed this so much. Never again will he leave you wondering, from this point forward, you should be well aware that if you so much as pushed him to his knees and lifted a leg over his shoulder, he’d be eating like a fucking king. 
Still, even with his immense love for kissing your pussy until your legs shake, there’s more to be experienced here than just this. His pace slows with the reality of that, and only now does he move his fingers with intent, and he pulls back to see how you’re spreading yourself for him, even as your legs fall from his shoulders.
“Fuck.” He rasps, lips glistening with a mixture of his own saliva and your slick. 
You lend him a drunken smile, nodding slowly as you focus in on the way his fingers scissor you open. Within a blink though, his face is right there hovering above you, staring intently at the way you react to his fingers. 
“You look so good right now, you know that?” He compliments, leaning down again to plant a kiss against you, only pumping his fingers in faster when your kiss appears to be more hungry than his own. “God, I can feel you squeeze my fingers–” 
And it’s true, he’s seeing stars solely because he can feel the clench of your pussy walls pushing his two fingers together, almost pushing against his attempts to scissor you open and curl them into the spot inside he knows you have. He can only imagine how good that would feel if he were to…
His eyes squeeze shut in a drawn out moan at the thought, his own kiss growing more hungry as he releases the towel from his waist and quickens the pace of his fingers inside of you. 
You can feel him press his cock against you, and the weight of it only becomes heavier when his fingers pause inside of you just so he can slip them out and use those same slick-coated digits to hold his length down and against you before he slides it between your lips. Now coating himself in the same wet sensation. 
You listen closely to his moan, knowing that he seems fond of neglecting his own pleasure to the point of doing near-embarrassing things to get it back when he needs it the most. It’s strangled, almost. You can hear him swallow around it when he slides up harshly, bumping your clit and causing your shorts to stretch against the crease of your thigh. 
He seems so…desperate. Yet, he can have anything he wants. 
“Keep it spread open–” He mutters when he feels you try to remove the hand that had been holding your pussy out on display for him. “I want to feel all of it.”
God, you’ve never heard him say something so sexy. Easily you do as he says, now using both hands to hold either side of your pussy open for him, and feeling the underside of his length slide against your hole. 
You let out a pleased sigh, despite your shorts becoming a nuisance at this point. It’s easy to forget you’re still wearing them though, because they only become drenched more and more as the moments pass with Jake.
You can genuinely just assume that his cock must be aching as he does this, leaking all over you. That’s something you don’t mind at all, because the stimulation is far beyond what you could ever ask for. 
“Jake–” You try to speak, only to be cut off by his hand sliding under your head and his lips attaching yet again to you.
There, you can’t help it when you remove your hands and shoot them up to his face. Holding him there, feeling the way his jaw moves when he licks into your mouth in a desperate attempt to get as much of you as he can in this moment. 
His hips fuck forward much like they did into his palm all those weeks ago, and the anticipation of if or when he finally plunges it into you drives you to kiss him just as hard as he does you.
There is nothing but the sound of kissing in the room save for muffled moans from both of you, entirely tangled up together as he does nothing more than grind himself against you. His hand cradling your head and the other still pressing his length down and against you as close as he can manage. Yours, cupping his cheeks as he kisses you, up until you run one hand down to take over for him.
In that moment, with his free and now shaking hand, he pulls back entirely and just looks at you.
He’s out of it, entirely gone from this world as he stares down with his hair drying by the minute from that shower, messy as all hell with darkened hooded eyes. He continues to stare, each thrust against you becoming pointed to the extent that it almost feels like he’s already fucked you for hours. 
And then, you feel it. The weight lifting, your shorts being stretched until they’re sliding down your thighs and off of you, and then the warmth as he adjusts his hips just barely enough to line up with your quivering hole, practically begging for him to stretch you out for the first time. 
His eyes falter only for a moment when he realizes that this is a moment he will never forget. The way you look up at him with glassy and needy eyes, out of breath, seemingly loving him as much as he’s always loved you. 
“Yeah?” He whispers, not breaking eye contact even for a moment. 
“Please.” You mutter out, not fully intending for it to sound so broken.
And as broken as your voice was in that instance, he grows much weaker by it. Dropping his head with a deep sigh, a smile, and then a chuckle.
“You really, really, can’t look at me like that and expect me to be gentle…” He pauses to look at you again. “For your sake, please tell me to slow down.”
You can barely comprehend a word he’s saying when you can feel the head of his cock teasing where you need it the most. 
“Please.” You rasp out again, wrapping your legs around his waist and forcing his body forward, ultimately sliding the tip of his length into you yourself. 
“Oh, fuck–” He chokes out before sucking in a breath and letting out a moan at the feeling. His body jerks at the sensation, the sound of your voice, the way you pulse around him. “Fuck, so good.” He continues to mutter, controlling himself for only a few seconds longer just to see if you have the ability to understand that he truly and honestly will not have the ability to go easy on you at this point. 
“Deeper.” You plead, squeezing your legs tighter around him, uncaring of his attempt to control the situation. 
That’s all it takes. Your broken voice already had him shaking, and now he’s giving up any and all control that he could have possibly hoped to have. 
Right there, with your legs hugging his waist, your hands gripping the pillow behind your head, and his hands finding purchase on either side of your shoulders, he sinks himself into you as deep as he can go and feels as if the life is being choked out of him over how fucking good it feels. 
He throws his head back in an erotic and attractive moan of relief, allowing you a glimpse at the expanse of his stretched neck, naked of any marked territory. Still, your vision goes white when the stretch hits you.
So big, so strong on top of you. You can imagine he really could fuck you hard, you hope he doesn’t go gentle on you at all, actually
“Shit, please,” You moan brokenly again, releasing your pillow and gripping his forearms. “Jake, god–” You have no words to describe how good he feels inside of you, you couldn’t begin to fathom trying to explain to him how perfect he is. 
It feels deep, deeper than you ever could have imagined. His length alone should have been enough to tell you that, but you hadn’t yet factored in the girth of it. So heavy inside of you, touching each soft and sensitive surface your pussy has to offer. 
Your body jolts in adjustment, knocking the breath out of you despite him not moving just yet. 
“Shh–” He soothes, not at all actually wanting to hush your cries for him. In fact, he’s simply saying it because he could quite literally release at any moment if you continue to speak and clench him like this. And when he finally looks down at you, he can’t fucking help it.
His hips move at their own volition, and he was right in believing there is no gentle fuck to be had here. He slides out only slightly, with the intent to fuck you as full of him as he can. He wants to stay deep, because you asked, and he wants to keep you feeling stretched around him because he can truly never get over the way you look and sound right now. 
You shake at the feeling of him pressing impossibly deeper into you, keeping his hips flush against you before snapping his hips back more now. A slightly empty feeling inside of you being filled once again within a second. 
His moans sound beautiful, he feels beautiful, and all you can do is stare up at him with watery eyes and a slack jaw, wondering why it took him so long to do this with you.
Wondering why it took you so long to want it at all, when now, you think you could never feel this good with another person again. 
His arms flex in your grasp with each thrust, and his eyes land on each visible part of your body before he weakens his stance and lowers himself to you, hips still fucking you open at a pace that’s only becoming more and more rapid, more and more fucking blinding. 
“Yeah, yeah–” Jake suddenly chimes with out of breath words, kissing you before you can comprehend or respond to those words. “No one has ever reacted like this for me–” He continues, pointing his thrusts harder into you. “Feels so good, so tight around me.” He chokes up at the last few words, stuttering his and picking up a different pace.
This time, those harsh thrusts pull back further, emptying you before slowly pressing into you again. 
“I want you to remember how this feels,” He continues, seemingly rambling against your lips with each slow thrust. “No one will ever fuck you like I will.” 
Your hooded eyes shoot open with arousal at his confident boasting. Those words feel so final, as if it isn’t even a rule, but a logical fact that only the two of you could ever find to be true. 
You can’t even manage a response, and instead moan before tucking your lips up and against his neck, using one hand to grip his hair and skew his head. 
That once naked and markless neck is no more. He is yours, and you’re lucky enough now to know that this is exactly how he wants you to feel. 
“Ahh, you like that?” He questions your reaction to his words, feeling your hips make attempts to meet him halfway with each thrust. “You like when I talk?” He continues to urge your sucking lips to speak out to him, to answer him, to boost his ego just a bit more. 
“So much,” You nearly whimper against his neck, moving your lips to another spot. “Love when you’re confident like this–”
He’s in heaven hearing those words. As if it’s a confirmation that he wasn’t just talking dirty. You both truly take those words and will fuck by them from this point forward. He truly doesn’t want anyone else, and hopefully, you’d never give another person the chance to make an attempt to fuck you the way he does. 
And then the room falls silent again, as if Jake is focused on reminding you with each passing second that he’s never been more sure or right of something in his life. Despite you already believing him, the way his cock pulses inside of you is enough of a reminder even if he had never said it in the first place. 
His pace quickens again, and then slows, and then stutters. Only to fall back into a good rhythm before his entire body starts to shake through the act. 
You wonder if this is it. Is this how his body reacts when he’s about to cum? Is this what his face looks like? Is this what his eyes do? Did his arms strain like this the first time? Did his moans come out as choked and desperate? 
None of that matters, because as quickly as it started, he buries himself into you again and stays in that one spot, shaking and timidly looking down at you. 
“Don’t move, please, don’t move.” He practically begs, losing himself to the way your hips chase the feeling of constant stimulation. “Stop moving.” He pleads again, pulling his chest from you and sitting up on his knees, keeping his cock in place deep within you. 
You watch him, unable to keep your hips still, and he watches you– trying to keep his orgasm under control before seeing your fingers trail down your stomach and to your clit.
There, he loses himself, watching you rub the soft spot just above where his cock stuffs you full. 
“I can’t,” He chokes out, snapping his hips back and allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. “Fuck, I really can’t.” He continues to mutter out, pressing his strings of cum ever deeper inside of you as he feels every muscle in his body tense. 
It feels so sensitive, but he can’t stop moving, feeling his cum fill you up to the point it’s surely being pressed out of you by his desperate length wanting nothing more than to stay inside of you.
You moan through it with him, encouraging him to lose himself inside of you, and he’s so beautiful when he does it. The fact that he does it at all has your body tensing on its own. Teetering on the edge of your own orgasm with the way your fingers almost aggressively chase after the feeling he appears to still be releasing inside of you.
And then, emptiness. You are left empty and dripping, fingers still chasing your release before–
“What the fu–” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of his tongue instantly back on you. As if he’s looping back to the beginning of it all, uncaring of tasting himself solely because through it all, he can still taste you. “Jake, Fuck–yes, right there.” You continue to groan when he replaces his tongue against your hole with his fingers, fucking into you as quickly as he can before nudging your fingers away and taking over the chase of your orgasm. 
You’re entirely amazed by how eager he is to pull it from you, and that alone is enough. The desperate ways in which he decided to pleasure you right in this moment, it’s enough.
Your hands instantly reach for his hair, gripping so tightly that you can hear the pained sound he lets out at the sheer force behind it. You very nearly rub his nose in the mess he’s made of you out of the sheer arousal you feel through your orgasm. 
You’re seeing white, feeling his fingers expertly work you open and somehow don’t feel disappointed at all that you didn’t get there before he pulled out of you. You can still feel him dripping out, fingers squelching and sliding through the mixture of both orgasms inside of you. And his tongue, good lord his fucking tongue, licking up every bit and eagerly flicking your clit at a pace much faster than he offered before.
And now, you find your legs nearly kicking him across the room. As soon as the orgasm subsides, your body goes into overdrive with the overwhelming sensitivity between your legs and all he can do is laugh at the way you practically do kick him.
Right off the bed, actually, he tumbles. 
You lay there, staring into space as you attempt to bring yourself back to reality when you see his messy hair and glistening eyes peek from the edge of your bed at you. His shoulders huffing with each deep breath he takes. 
“Jesus fucking christ.” You manage to gasp out, spread eagle and almost completely naked on your bed save for the forgotten shirt that’s still pushed up to your collarbone. 
He makes his way back up to you, pressing your legs together, lowering your shirt, and planting his heavy dead-weight right on top of you. 
A solid ten minutes pass as the two of you lay there in the mess you’ve both created. Heavy breaths turn to easy, balanced breaths together. You can barely hold your eyes open when he finally rolls off of you and right up against your side. 
“Can I ask you something?” He mutters, throat dry and stomach growling embarrassingly loud. 
“Hm?” You hum out, entirely ready to just sleep in the mess.
“Are you always like that?” He questions, a little hint of doubt breaking his confidence. “Like, did Sunghoon see you act like that too?” 
You crack your eyes open and instantly turn to face him. 
“You’re insane if you think Sunghoon is that good. I’ve never used the word ‘please’ in my life.”
Jake glances away, thinking to himself and letting those words sink in.
“Well,” He starts, pausing and feeling that little pit in his stomach return. “That’s a lie because I’ve heard you use your manners at least twice in the years I’ve known you.” 
You smile, loving that the two of you can still be somewhat catty and playful even after the fact that you just realized how insanely in love with him you are. 
“Jake, no one has ever made me act like this in bed.” You try to reassure him. “I don’t think anyone else could, besides you.”
He smiles with a nod, running his hands down your body before pausing at the half dried cum that managed to make its way up to your stomach. And then? He groans. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s insane really, that all it took for you to fall in love with the person you think you were always meant to love was him admitting it. Even more insane that he decided to take the route that involved faux playful head, with no feelings attached despite his feelings being deeply fucking attached. 
Still, the route taken to get to this point, he thinks, is fitting for the two of you. Especially now that he can look at Sunghoon without wanting to strangle him, and he can look at you knowing you’d very much invite him to strangle you, you know, considering the fact that you’re now trying to explore every sexual realm in the fucking universe with him.
Even with the desperate need to have you under him any chance he gets, and the fucking, and the arousal, none of it shines brighter than the small intimate moments he has with you that aren’t weighed down by pining or lust. 
As playful as the two of you are together, there is so much love here. So much love to still be discovered too, and he can’t help but feel excited by it. 
Romance isn’t dead, despite how the two of you tried to fucking butcher it. 
3K notes · View notes
fev3rish · 3 months
Note
so um, can we get some kenji Sato x Baseball reader? something like enemies to lovers, where Kenji is jealous of the reader for being one of the best baseball players in the women's league in Japan? to the point where some people say the reader is better than Kenji at the game? (or something like that idk loll) (I'm NOT good at english, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes or something like that)
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PUZZLE PIECES. kenji sato x reader
you truly held no ill intent—you just couldn’t stand him sometimes—and maybe there was potential between the two of you. not chemistry. potential. potential to be friends. not anything else. you wouldn’t mind if anything else came to be, though.
cw. i decided to combine these two requests because it would be easy to fit them into a story. rivals -> friends -> lovers, reader is shown to be kind of nonchalant, drunk confession, frequent and unpredictable perspective switches, gn!reader, reader’s ex is desperate, kenji and reader banter for half the story. if i wrote it in full, it would be too long to share to tumblr but too targetted to share anywhere else, so it’s only 4.5k words, weird pacing of the story, there are sprinkles and references to my previous drabbles with kenji, all around a rollercoaster, i wrote this in a day so i apologize if it’s wonky as hell, unproofreaded, lowercase intended, rivalry is kind of one sided because reader is written to have a sort of muted admiration of kenji
notes. i’m not as confident with this story as i am for my other ones :( i usually write mini fics, but this is a full fledged one shot and i am very critical of my one shots. i hope i don’t disappoint ! thank you all for enjoying my work :)
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you remember him more than anyone. kenji sato, baseball star, highschool heartthrob with a heart of stone. you remember how arrogant he was too. you hate to admit it, but you understood why. you wanted to be as skilled as he was, and he didn’t believe you could be anything else but a water runner—something he said. to your face, too. you didn’t find it in yourself to hate him, infact—you were his biggest admirer then.
even now, you are. just subtly. he is the first name that comes up on your feed, and the last thought that leaves your mind when you finally go to bed. you smile, lazily, as you scroll through your phone and see his latest win. you want to dislike him, but you can’t; so you pretend. you filter it. it’s an act that comes down whenever you are in the comfort of your own home; where you can freely adore him.
he’s still so fucking cool.
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kenji sunk into his beloved couch, exhausted after yet another game. he threw his head back, staring at the ceiling, relishing in the afterglow of victory. “hey mina!” he called, a cocky grin on his face as the a.i. assistant glided over to him. “yes ken?” she asks, knowing that he’s probably up to something but giving in anyway. “who can outmatch the greatest living player?!” he boomed, his voice bouncing off the walls as he flat-out refused to get off his high.
mina, tonight, decided to have fun. so, with a quick skim of the internet, and a particularly informative article—she pulled up a face on a projected screen, and replied with an answer he didn’t expect. a name. kenji’s smile left as quick as the light in his eyes did. “what? no way!” he laughed it off, but the faraway look in his eye said it all. it got under his skin. what did you have that he didn’t? that made you better than him? what was your batting average? how many stolen bases did you have? how can he schedule a ‘friendly’ game between your team and his?
how can he win?
“no way, mina.” he scoffed, trying to collect himself—the afterglow leaving him for a dullness he couldn’t explain. “there’s no way i just won one of the biggest games of my life and they’re just there, and the public’s eating them all up and calling them better of a player than i am. what makes them a better player than me?” his arrogant rambling leaves a bitter taste in his mouth—and kenji steps back a bit, actually recollecting himself because he knows better than this. he knows better than to let his emotions get in the way; atleast now. mina’s spinning around in circles, the bot observing kenji’s improvement. if she could, she’d smile. but she can’t, so she speaks to him as if she were smiling. “they cooperate well with their teammates.” she states, simply.
kenji pulls at his hair.
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you stare in utter disbelief as the crowd cheers your name, wondering how exactly you got this far. you couldn’t even hold a bat properly once, and now, a couple years later, you run the bases after yet another home run. you’ve been carrying your team, but they’ve been the ones ordering you around because if you’re being honest, you genuinely have no idea what you’re doing. what are you even doing? how have you gotten this far? well, you know the answer—amazing teammates, good eye-to-hand coordination, and most importantly, luck.
kenji sits in the stands, mouth parted as he watches you run. you improved, he can tell, and he hates that he’s proud. the only luck he’s been given is that he’s disguised. his sunglasses don’t show his disdain (is it truly disdain? he wants it to be. he ignores that he’s amazed.) and his facemask, in response to how gagged he was, just wrinkled a bit. “you’re shitting me…” he thinks aloud, watching as you celebrated with your team; another win to cross off.
he tries to leave discreetly, he really does—but you make eye contact with him. he goes rigid. you walk over, bidding farewell to the rest of your group as you approach him. you look up at kenji, and something in you just knows. but you want to pretend, you have to pretend; and it wasn’t your fault if you wanted to have a little fun, too. you put up a sweet, sweet smile—
“are you a fan?” you ask, “would you like my autograph?” you ask again, and he sucks in a breath. no one is here, not anyone that matters atleast— everyone’s skittering out of the dome and suddenly kenji is, too. he wants to walk pass you, but in fairness, he was provoked first. “no, actually.” he replies, coolly, and there’s this glint in your eye that has maggots forming in kenji’s stomach, eating away at his insides—or perhaps, they’re butterflies. kenji doesn’t want to think about it. he just wants to think about you. “you win a couple games and suddenly you think you’re the star of the show?” he tilts his head, walking closer to you. his sunglasses are taken off, and now he’s really looking down on you. you, who only shrugs. “i mean, maybe.” you say. “i definitely outshine you though, don’t i?” you retort and he hisses. the scene is reminiscent of two cats, circling eachother as they bare their fangs. “wow, and here i was,” kenji dramatically began, “about to apologize to you for all that shit in highschool!” he continued, and he was about to open his mouth again before you intervened. “oh, you mean where you peaked?”
“excuse me?” said through grit teeth. “highschool?” you chirped, “where you peaked?” “oh, excuse me.” he gasped, taken aback. you snickered, and he sneered. “you’re the worst.“ he leaned in close, eager to get that through your head—eager to get under your skin as much as you got under his, but you only blinked up at him with a slight blush on your face.
“are we about to kiss right now?” you raise an eyebrow promiscuously, and kenji almost claws at you before he clasps his hand together. he stays like that. you take a second to realize he’s doing breathing exercises. “why the fuck is he doing breathing exercises?”
it slips out. it genuinely, truthfully just slips out—you think out loud and kenji sato, the man of japan himself, literally goes red in the face. he turns to you, then turns around and walks away.
even when he’s all red and embarrassed, he is still so freakishly cool.
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it seems all kenji wants to do is one up you, and all you really want to do is go to dinner with him. it’s embarrassing, the hardened glare he sends you when he sees you in the stands, ready to watch his games. you want him so bad and he thinks you take joy in his displeasure, and you know that this is such a stupid misunderstanding but it’s… well, it’s fun. and you haven’t had any opportunities to even try and talk to him, because he always gives you sass. how could a man have that much sass? even you don’t know, and you like to think you know everything. you know that kenji’s cute as hell, and that you want him really bad, and that’s all that you need to know. ever.
meanwhile, kenji is irritated at the mention of you—and he makes it known with a scrunch of his nose and a frown on his lips. when you walk into the room, he rolls his eyes. when you run your hands through your hair, you swear you see his gaze linger but you don’t know if it’s truly a gaze, or a glare. you want to speak to him, but with the way he holds his bat like it’s a weapon around you makes it seem like he wants to spar. you do not want to spar. it’s the same as always, today—another game won by the giants, another game you attended, and another game kenji had a harder time locking in on.
you try and try and you keep on trying—actually, you don’t plan on stopping. kenji sees you as an enemy, but all you see in him is a potential husband. he can’t be that bad, right? not as bad as your last one. no one can be as bad as your last one, and it irks you just thinking about him. you don’t even want to call him an ex of yours, because he was never truly yours in the first place.
no, he wasn’t. four months down the drain just like that, because he couldn’t keep it in his pants when a pretty girl asked him to dance.
what a shame.
you had a visceral reaction to your own mind, and your face soured before you even felt it. kenji saw that, and his eyes darkened. “you have a problem with how i play today?” he was up in your face before you knew, his face as sour as yours. you jump back. “why do you care if i do?” you bring up, “you wanna impress me?”
“to hell with impressing you.” “to hell with you.” “oh, you’re the worst.” “is that all you can say?” “if i said all i could, you’d sue me.” “no, i wouldn’t care enough. my parents raised me better.” “so did mine.”
you bite your tongue, then. you’re silent as he looks at you, and under his scrutiny, you shrink. the smirk on his face is smug and insufferable, as expected of someone so hellbent on one upping you.
“hey now, why so quiet?” there he is again, getting all up in your face and rubbing his seven seconds of victory to you. “cat got your tongue?”
“precisely. that’s the first thing we’ve agreed on.” “no, it isn’t.” “yes, it is.” “no, it isn’t.” “no, it isn’t.” “yes it is—hey!” kenji caught himself, or tried to, but it was already way too late. “hah! you’re a complete ditz—“ you exclaimed, before kenji shushed you with a light punch.
“i’ll have you know that we have an exhibition game tomorrow and i plan on destroying you.” he talks big, but the chances of him serving up a win is small. you have to thank kenji for making you more confident in your skills, because of just how butthurt he is over you. he’s waited long for this moment; to finally be able to face off against you—show the people who the top dog truly is—and now he has it.
and he won’t disappoint.
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the game ended abruptly due to a kaiju targetting the dome it was set in, and you couldn’t help but notice kenji’s panic in the corner of your eye. you couldn’t blame him, you were scared out of your mind too—but then he didn’t run towards the exit, he ran towards you. “watch out!” he called, and you looked up and froze.
debris was coming down on you, and fast.
when you looked down in a panic, trying to see where to go—ken was no where to be found, and from behind you, the famous ultraman made his appearance. he greeted you, albeit a bit… sassy. a familiar kind, one that you seemed to recognize—you just couldn’t put your finger on it.
“bro, can you get moving—i mean— cease this.. dawdling! faithful citizen, leave at once or you might get hurt!” he boomed, his voice echoing the same way a certain other person’s did. he held the debris that was going to crush you in a single hand, and you could only gawk.
who were you to deny ultraman?
after that encounter, you didn’t see each other for a while. it admittedly made you a bit sad, you truly held no ill intent—you just couldn’t stand him sometimes— and maybe there was potential between the two of you. not chemistry. potential. potential to be friends. not anything else.
you wouldn’t mind if anything else came to be, though.
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tonight, you had decided to treat yourself; a night at tonkatsu tonki would do for sure. you placed an order and sat tight, bundled up in one of the comfy booths in the corner as you scrolled through your phone. it did do, so far! you felt your muscles loosen and your jaw unclench with each smile sent your way. for once, you felt yourself relax—then you heard someone call out your name. someone you couldn’t forget. not yet, atleast—the wound was still healing. you refused to pick at it even further. you looked up and—“oh fuck.”
“what are you doing here?” your most recent mistake asks. he tries to get close to you, to sit in your booth and disturb your peace—but you stand up before he does. “why do you care?”
“because this was our spot.” he replies, “we came here for our three month anniversar—“ he tries to continue but you’re so tired. you stop him with a raise of your hand, “this was not where we went. you’d have known if you paid attention to me while we were together.” your response is curt, and you see hurt flash in his eyes—similar to the way it flashed in yours whenever he pulled the same bullshit he promised not to pull. “listen, i’m sorry—“ you ignore him the same way he did when you tried to speak. you turn, going back to your booth but he pulls you by the wrist and you realize that he doesn’t want to say sorry.
rather, he wants to show he’s sorry. or maybe that’s not the case either—maybe he wants to make you sorry.
regardless, you yank your hand away and stomp on his foot—he curses. you’re lucky the restaurant’s nearing closing time, otherwise you’d have more of an audience and therefore more of a PR nightmare. he raises his hand, and you raise your own to block what you know will be a hit—but nothing comes. well, no one except kenji. he has his hand on your ex’s wrist, as he squeezes it tight—enough to bruise.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” his face is scrunched up in anger, and you sigh in relief. “none of your fucking business.” your ex replies—he tries to act tough, but his voice cracks and you know he’s scared. kenji takes the chance to get a good look at him, and he cracks up. “you… you play for the tigers, don’t you? we decimated you. had your team’s heads on the ground from how embarrassed they were last time we played; you wanna take another defeat?” he snickers. your mouth drops in awe of the sudden juicy drama unfolding, and also partially because kenji is really, really handsome.
the restaurant’s emptied out by now, and you three are only accompanied by the employees—who are reluctantly waiting for the two men to settle their little scuffle. you watch as your ex tries to struggle against him, tries to run off, and the only thought in your mind is: what did i ever see in him?
“let me go!” he yells, “let them go, first.”
your ex looks between him and you, who only calls a waiter over to order a drink. two drinks, to be exact. he stomps out of the restaurant right after. kenji is about to leave, as well, but tonkatsu tonki closes in thirty minutes—and you have a drink and a free seat. he can’t resist. he slides into your booth with an undeniable swagger, relishing in yet another victory as you smile kindly. “you didn’t have to do all that.” you start, sheepishly—he just takes a sip of the drink you ordered him. “yeah, well, i did. what about it?” you raise your hands in mock surrender, and he lets out a lighthearted laugh. “thank you, then. thank you for doing all that.”
“don’t get used to it.” he points, and this time—you laugh. you ask him about his day, and suddenly thirty minutes feels like forever. by the time you two get kicked out of the restaurant, he has your number unblocked and a promise to be annoyed every single day that a part of him hopes you’ll keep.
there was a spark, then, and it lit up so evidently between the two of you. a piece of eachother, found in each other. it was an epiphany to kenji, and an honor for you. you fit together like puzzle pieces, and yet you didn’t even realize it because you were both so intent on making the wrong parts of yourself fit, when they didn’t.
eventually, unblocked numbers turned to frequent messages, and frequent messages turned to inside jokes—inside jokes became personal hangouts. kenji sato found himself a part of your life, and he ended up loving it. your bickering became friendly, and lighthearted bullying was always a welcome notion— he made it a point to beat your ass at baseball as often as he could, but he always took you out to drink, on him. if he won. if he didn’t, you’d be the one treating him. it was a win-win situation for the both of you, even though one of you lost.
eventually, feelings blossomed.
kenji’s smiles made you smile, and he started buying things because those things reminded him of you; his heart beat a little faster as you walked over to greet him, and your cheeks burned whenever he winked at the screen during games. eventually, that friendly banter became more… flirty. you were toeing the line between friends and lovers.
you loved it.
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kenji snaked an arm around your shoulder as you sat, thigh pressed against thigh, your head leaning on his bicep. you were at another bar, and ken was in another world. it was no surprise to you that he was a light weight, and with several swigs of his second bottle—he had been reduced to a blabbing baby of a man. a blabbing baby of a man who was getting suspiciously close to you—too close to just be platonic affection. you wonder if he’ll remember this the next day. you hope he doesn’t, with all the nonsense he’s spouting about being ultraman and how saving the city from kaiju is his ultimate duty. it’s going to be embarrassing, especially since it’s in such a public setting.
you take an uber to your house; he’ll have to deal with it if he wants to save his career after all. it’s a complete pain in the ass to haul his ass to the cab, but the way his hair frames his face just right—reddened face still handsome as he glances down at you, you just accept that some men are born as apologies for the existence of the entire male gender.
the entire car ride is full of the uber driver trying not to laugh as you struggle against kenji, who wants to sleep on your lap but can’t because the car is too small. the driver bursts into laughter as kenji starts crying, and you pull out your phone.
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it can not be this hard to take care of a drunk man.
kenji is laying on the cold tile of your floor, tapping at the air because he thinks it’s an ipad and you have to resist the urge to just leave him to his own devices. you know damn well he won’t let you, anyway. he’s had his hand wrapped around your ankle for the past two minutes. “kenji.” you start, “let go.”
“erm… no.” “kenji.” “i love it when you say my name.” he says, amidst an abundance of giggles. you’re being pulled down onto the floor with him, and there’s remnants of that one strawberry cocktail he had before shit really hit the fan in his breath. “say my name again.” he asks, and you say it again—not knowing it’ll unleash a conversation you never knew you wanted—needed—to have.
“kenji.” you say his name again, for the third time, your face heating up as he buries his face into your stomach, inhaling your scent. “you’re perfect.” he says, slurring over his words and you freeze. “didn’t know that was something you’d ever say to me. usually, you’d be focused on strategizing how to keep beating me at baseball.” you mutter, softly—and a part of you finds humor in the situation. you want to, atleast. you find no humor, but you do find hope—for what, you don’t know.
“i find myself focusing on you more, hehe—“ you bite your lip. you muffle out his laughs. he’s just drunk. “you know, i’m better than him.” he’s just drunk. “i don’t see why you haven’t just thrown me over your shoulder yet,” he pauses, to let out yet another intoxicated laugh. “if you gave me a chance, i’d prove it too.” he hiccups.
you’re on your tiled floor, laying down with a six foot tall man and he’s confessing his love to you in drunk rambles. he’s promising he’s better than all your exes. he would be.
how did you get here again? why don’t you want to leave?
“bro, i want you so bad….”
ah, that’s why. you turn to face him, and he’s already looking at you. his eyes are glazed over with love so strong you know he’s been hiding it for too long, and you decide maybe it won’t be too bad just laying here. “…how long?” you inquire. his eyes sparkle, “since you ordered me that drink at tonkatsu tonki.”
“that’s a long time.” “i have a hard time communicating how much i truly value a person.” “i can see that.” “i can see you.” “and what do you think?” your lip quirks up, and he grins. “you’re perfect.” his hands find themselves on your waist, and you want to pull back—but he pulls you in faster, not into a kiss, but into a hug. “i’d treat you so good.” he starts again. “better than any one of your miserable exes. i’d take you out on dates weekly, and we’d have movie nights bi weekly where we interchange who picks the movies, and when we go to the bar together, i’ll show you off. when i win my games, i’ll point at you.” he babbles, and you look up at him as you listen to him promise a string of temptations you can’t help but give in to. “i’d treat you so, so good. make you come over, and then come over and ov—“
“okay, i get it.” “can i get you, then?” “maybe, when you’re not drunk.” “i’m not drunk. my name is kenji.” “okay kenji.” “my last name is sato. can you get that too?” “when you’re not drunk, kenji.” “no, it’s just kenji. not drunk kenji.” “do you want to sleep here or in the guest bedroom?” you deadpan. he blinks. “here. it’s comfier.” “okay, goodnight—“ “stay with me. just this once.”
you want to reject him, but you also don’t want to. so you cave, again, to his charms. he holds you so gently, cradling the back of your head with his palm as you listen to him babble. he seems to never stop professing his love for you, and you, lowkey, aren’t complaining. you deal with his blabber until he blacks out, and you look around to see if kenji has all he needs when he wakes up. it’s a chaotic situation, and you’re seconds away from going out of your mind—but you look around as if you’re looking around a baseball field. a glass of water and the bottle of tylenol is in arms reach, his things are on the couch, and you are in his arms.
you don’t want to leave, and it makes you sick.
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you wake up and you’re faced with the bare wall and raging back pain. you groan, your eyes scanning the room—kenji isn’t here anymore. you make a mental note to check your phone, later. maybe he texted. you stand up and stretch, and before you can recover, a pair of hands poke your sides. you jump away, shrieking as you’re met with a kenji who’s as equal of a mess as you are. his eyes are framed by dark circles, and his hair isn’t as immaculate as it usually is—it’s the most attractive state you’ve ever seen him in.
“hi.” is all he says, and you take deep breaths. “you’re fucking crazy.” you say, “crazy over you.”
he remembers. your eyes bulge out of your own skull, threatening to fall out at any second, and you hold onto the wall for support as you try to keep it cool. “what—what.” well played. super smooth. the swagger is evident. what time is it? it’s only eleven am and you’re humiliating yourself. you’re dazed as kenji walks over to you, his eyes never once leaving yours—you want to look down, but you can’t stop looking at him. “so…” you start, but he doesn’t let you finish. not yet, atleast. he’s always been fond of edging. he liked the control, and being controlled— “so?”
“you remember.” you gulp. “i do, yeah.” “okay, well.. what do you think?”
“i think you’re perfect.” he bites the inside of his cheek, “—and i think i could treat you better than him.”
your whole world shakes. your heart’s beating and it bruises your ribs, and that would be enough of a confession—but he continues.
“and i truly don’t see why you haven’t thrown me over your shoulder yet, because i could prove it too.” he’s restating every point he made last night and it’s killing you. your silence only makes him want to continue. “i’ll treat you so good. movies, money, gifts, dates—anything you want as long as it’s you. i’ll treat you better than any one of your miserable exes.” when he smirks, you notice that one side of his lip quirks up higher than the other; a flaw, but one he let you see. no one’s gotten this close, after all. only you.
“that is, if you’ll give me a chance.” his confidence wavers, but the sparkle in his eyes gives you all the convincing you need. “you didn’t need to do all that.” you start, the familiar words rolling off your tongue easily. his smirk becomes a smile. “yeah, well, i did. what about it?”
it’s an unspoken truth that the both of you know. he holds out his hand, and you place your smaller one on top—he inches it closer to his lips, and kisses each knuckle.
he’s all yours.
“you took a long ass time trying to confess. and you didn’t even do it sober.” you call out, and kenji cringes at his own cowardice but he defends himself anyway. “hey! i re-confessed now!”
“re-confess? what?” “i just redid my confession.” “more like re-use—“ “can i kiss you now?”
the question is so sudden, you place your free hand on your chest as you gasp. kenji cringes, again, at how direct he was—he opens his mouth to apologize, but he barely gets a word in.
when your lips find eachother, they fit together like puzzle pieces.
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eff-plays · 10 months
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Idk if this is a hot take of any kind but I actually really like that Astarion's romance starts off in an unhealthy way and evolves. That's like ... the point? Ya know?
It's interesting. It adds layers and conflict. It allows for growth and evolution. And Larian have claimed multiple times that it was on purpose, that many video game romances have sex as the culmination while here, some characters will fuck you immediately but then what? What happens after? Sex isn't the reward, but part of the relationship. There is more beyond. But people think that there being stuff beyond sex means that that's the only value that exists, and that the sex adds nothing. But in Astarion's case, it's extremely important?
It's complicated. His relationship with sex is complicated. They did it on purpose. That's the point. So what if it's not "uwu soft trust me I don't want sex please let's just hold hands" from the start? He doesn't trust the PC from the start, so why the fuck would he agree to that? He doesn't know them at all. He needs to do things his way because he's not ready for anything else yet. And if you feel sad for him, that's fine, because it's meant to be sad? But to the point of it becoming anger at the people who wrote it? That's weird, man. Astarion isn't real, you're not hurting a real person, and he literally asks Tav for it? In my case, he asks them twice before they say yes. They're not forcing him into anything. The only time you can force him is after the Araj scene, and he immediately breaks up with you after. So he's clearly perfectly capable of ending things if they get too toxic.
I swom to Jon just romance someone else at that point. Idk if this is my romance writer brain talking but well-written, not contrived, and non-abusive conflict is actually rare and sometimes difficult to write, but IMO every good romance needs conflict. Because at the end of the day, it's also a story?
It's not perfect because it's not meant to be. It's meant to be a starting point to evolve from. Sometimes things can be unhealthy without being abusive or problematic TM.
Anyway. Yeah I like how fucked up it is. Because Astarion is fucked up. It makes it more real and more compelling. I made my Tav fucked up to match.
"Well my Tav wouldn't fall for it and would realize ...!" Roleplay harder. Clearly Tav/Durge aren't meant to pick up on his manipulations from the start, or overlook them, or fall for them. There's a bajillion different ways to justify it. If you can't see past your own meta knowledge, romance someone else.
But if you really want the relationship to start without sex then just write that fic? Why are you demanding that Larian caters to your specific tastes and sensibilities? They had a story to tell and they told it. You not liking it is neither a personal a slight against you nor their problem.
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lazyneonrabbitt · 7 months
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Beef
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Daryl Dixon x Reader
Requested : "Could you do a Daryl x reader where at first he doesn’t like her, and she tries to get to know why hes so mean to her? Maybe he yells at her and then some comfort after?" EDIT: I saw this same request being written by another writer and I want to say, don't send multiple writers the same exact request. I find this super disrespectful.
This one took some turns of its own while writing, I hope it's to your liking!!
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When his group first came to the community you were excited. Finally you'd have a real huntsman around to share experiences with, you had missed it so bad.
Before the fall your family owned a shop, your father a butcher and your mother a taxidermist. You and your siblings learned every skill from hunting to skinning, prepping and using each part of the animal so none would go to waste. You hadn't hunted in so long, you weren't sure if you still could hunt succesfully. Even now you'd donate large, strong antlers and bones to the blacksmith in Hilltop to use in weaponmaking. You donated the furs you didn't fashion into items yourself to the seamstresses and prepped each type of meat for meals.
But somehow the new hunter didn't take the shared interests as something positive.
He brought you animals, yes. But never without throwing a judgy look around your workplace. Even when he came in with someone else who'd compliment your clean work he'd only scoff, dump his kills and head back out.
"Sheesh, what crawled up his ass?" The large moustached man laughed. You only shrugged as you lugged the deer behind your counter. "Hell if I know. Ain't digging it out tho. He seems to be doing okay with everyone except for me.." You returned the laugh while the man who's name slipped your mind helped you put the deer on your workbench, only to quickly drop the fake smile and leaning against your workbench.
You thanked him with a sigh and he gave you that look that told you to spill your thoughts.
"Fine. It sucks he's so weird. It'd be awesome to have a partner to do all of this with and to go hunt with." You busied yourself sharpening yuour knives, clearly still annoyed by the whole ordeal. "And..?" The long winded drawl made you roll your eyes at the man's persistance.
"And he's drop dead gorgeous, okay? There. I said it. I have a crush on the man. Happy no-- Ah fuck!" Your knife hit the floor with a clatter as you grabbed at your bleeding hand.
"Alright, up and out withya. To the doc we go." You were led to the infirmary and passed the source of your annoyance on the way.
Not that you were listening, but you still caught his voice in passing. "Damn folk 'ere don't know how ta do shit." You caught his glance in your direction and if you weren't busy keeping yourself from bleeding out you'd confront him.
It was a clear message that you weren't allowed to use the injured hand for your work and risk pulling the stitches, and honestly it just hurt too much to do anything with it. It sucked even more than having to leave your old home behind. There were people counting on your work so they'd have food.
It didn't stop you from going to work and doing as much as you could one-handed. You got there extra early to make up for the extra rime everything would take now, and by the time you'd normally open you found Deanna on your steps, greeting you with her usual smile. "I knew you'd be here stil working, but I brought someone to help until your hand is better. You shouldn't be overworking yourself."
As quick as she had entered she had left again as well, leaving you with your new work companion.
The hunter.
"Good morning." You gave him the kindest smile you could, but were only given a grunt in return as he tossed a bundle of tied up small game on your desk, rounded the corner and fished for a knife to start taking them apart.
Besides you explaining where to put all the different parts of the animal you two barely spoke, until the snap of bone pulled you away from your focused work of skinning yesterday's deer. "The hell?" You turned around to go see what he was up to.
"What are you breaking bones for?" His station was a mess, he pointed at the difficult point he was cuting along. "Easier ta reach without the bone in the way." Without even looking he continued. "Ya should know tha'. Damn city girl doin' mah work."
Again with his snarky comments. You shrugged it off and went back to your own station. Yiur bkood bloiled but you weren't gonna let him get to you, you had work to get done. "Try not to do that, we can still use the bones if you keep them whole."
You tried so hard to focus on your work, skinning the deer with only one functional hand was so difficult and even though you were having extremely conflicted feelings about it you still had to ask him for help.
"Can I borrow your hands for a minute? Can't do this on my own."
You held the large deer up and moved it as Daryl cut away the skin in the most choppy manner, creating a clear line where you stopped and he started. "Can you please work a bit mote delicate? That's gonna take me ages to clean up." You huffed from keeping the deer in place, but also annoyance. Why didn't he work like a hunter? He must know the code, right?
"Why're ya so on mah ass 'bout how I work? Gon' toss it out anyways. Just need the meat, tha's it." He got snappy at the end and you just stared at him, anger clear in your eyes. "Seriously?"
You let go of the deer and stepped away from the counter. "You're sent to MY shop. To help me because I happen to fuck up my hand for the first time ever since I got here years ago and all you can do is talk shit about me?" The knife that laid on the desk before now in your good hand and pointed at his chest. "God I can't believe I even fell for your hunting woodsman charms. You're just an asshole who doesn't give a shit about these animals or the hunter's code." With a clatter the knife hit the floor as you tossed it to the side with shaking hands.
"Get the fuck out of my shop and go find me someone who cares." With angry steps you turned around and headed out of the room, needing a break to gather yourself first if you wanted to get anything else done.
Now alone in the workstation, Daryl snatched up his catch from this morning and headed out.
~~
"You did what? Pookie you gotta listen to the girl." Carol sat down next to him and snatched the cigarette from his fingers. "You know you disrespected her life's work by now following her rules in her own shop, right?"
"I'on get why tha's even important anymore. We gotta eat, tha's all." Daryl's annoyed grumbles did nothing good it seemed as Carol continued to scold him like he was a child. "Did you for one second maybe think this work is all she has left to hold onto her old world self?"
"Cept this ain't the old world no more. She's waistin' time doin' all tha extra shit."
Carol was up and at the front door by now, putting out the cigarette in one of many ashtrays there. "Alright, up with you. You're apologizing with me right now."
The two took off to your shop but found no one there. Daryl's half finished rabbit still out in the open on the table while the deer was gone. "Ain't here. I'll head back tomorro--"
"No we're not. I know where she lives, come on." Carol practically pulled him along on the way to your place despite Daryl's protests.
You were working in your basement area when you heard a knock on the front door. "Come in!" Everyone who came to your place knew the door was unlocked and was free to come and find you, seeing you were either cooking, working on lounging when you kept the front door open.
"Hey, it's Carol! Heard about your hand, need some help around the house?" She needed an excuse to get an answer and find out where you were, so when you called back she knew to head downstairs.
Meanwhile Daryl just stared around to keep his mind busy. He found rabbit skins from prey he brought in wrapped around a pair of boots. He recognized the fur seeing it was a rare color. Further into your livingroom there was a deer pelt draped over the back of your couch. Also caught by him. The white spots over the back had one small flaw from where his bolt had struck right on a white dot. He remembered being proud of his aim for a minute that day.
"Daryl, come on." Carol's whisper-yell had him roll his eyes and as he passed your coatrack he noticed the hooks were all antler parts and the knives laying in the basket on the hallway table had bone handles.
So that's why you were so angry when he snapped the rabbit's leg and skinned the deer so carelessly. You did really use everything.
The two walked down the stairs to your workshop, Carol up front with Daryl following.
"Oh wow," Carol's exclaimation had you laugh. "Yeah, I get that a lot." You stood with your back turned, struggling to hang a piece of skin.
"Here, lemme help ya." Daryl's gruff voice was suddenly right behind you and you spooked, letting go of the pelt but Daryl caught it just in time, draping it over the wire. "Like tha?" His hands stayed up there and adjusted it to your liking, having stepped back to watch him and give Carol a questioning look. She just shrugged and gestured at the man who was again staring around the room. "What brings you here?"
Daryl looked at everything except you, he knew he'd lose all ability to speak if he did. Hell, he already had a difficulty getting his words out now seeing how wrong he was for not listening to you. "Came ta say sorry." He stared at the basket of furs labeled 'Donate'. "Shoulda known better than ta get angry. 'N I get why ya work thr way ya do now." Next to the basket sat a crate filled with thick, sturdy bones labeled 'blacksmith'.
You nodded and gave him an option. "Come back to the shop tomorrow. I'll have tou clean up that deer skin you almost ruined and you're following my teachings. I'll forgive you for wasting the rabbit."
Daryl chewed at his thumb, the other hand stuffed in his pocket and fidgeting with the fabric inside. "Yeah, alright." He nodded and looked over at Carol who had the brightest smile on her face. One that screamed victory.
"We'll get out of your hair, I'll bring by some lunch tomorrow at your shop." Carol waved on her way up, and just as Daryl was about to follow her you quickly spun around to grab something. "Oh, here." You held out a thin knife wrapped in leather, a small engraving of Hilltop's blacksmith on the handle. "I saw you took the rabbits, so if you haven't prepped them yet you can try this one. They're great for smaller animals."
He stumbled over his thanks as he accepted the knife and quickly headed out after Carol.
~~
You were back at work early the next morning, painkillers and a small breakfast in your system already and hoping to finish that damn deer. It still proved a challenge to get it from the cooler onto the workbench but you managed eventually, just before Daryl came in.
"Mornin'." Hid gruff voice sounded through the workplace as he rounded the corner and placed the knife from yesterday on the table. "Thanks fer lettin' me borrow it. Worked like a charm."
You picked up the knife and held it out to him again, only to recieve a questioning grunt in return. "It was a gift. To keep."
Daryl never got gifts. Everything he had was scavenged and well taken care of for longer use these days. It felt weird to keep it but he thanked you again and pocketed it.
Meanwhile you had grabbed the deer skin and laid it out where he'd be working. "Look here, I'll show you how to clean this up and you'll go fix the rest, okay? It'll take a while but it'll be worth it." Daryl stepped up to you and observed the way you took the knife to the uneven spots of skin and carefully smoothed it all out. The precision in your work was impressive to say the least. "How long've ya been doin' this?"
You dropped a cut off piece of meat into a plastic container and thought back to the old world. "I guess ever since my parents thought I was old enough to handle knives." You held the tool out to the hunter and watched him take it from you. "Your turn. I'll be hopefully finishing that deer so just ask whatever, whenever."
You were lucky a lot of the cutting could be done onehanded, and holding back pieces was okay enough to do with your wrist or hold something down with your elbow. But now that you had all the easy access meats off and seperated you ran into a problem.
"Fuck.." You needed help. The same kind of help that had you kick him out yesterday.
"Sup? Need hands?" He was at your side in a second, waiting for your instructions.
"I need to take off the ribs but I can't." You leaned aside to point around the carcass. "If you can press down here, and there." Daryl followed your instructions and put pressure on the spots you pointed out. "Then I can take this here apart." Your movements were followed and suddenly it was way too hot in your always cold workplace. Yesterday you'd be happy if he decided thr Kingdom was a better home for him but now that he apologized and proved to better himself after your misunderstanding you were back to being the lovesick puppy Abraham had made you out to be when he brought you home after the infirmary visit.
With how Daryl held the spot clear and open you had to get close to chop through the bone and separate it all in workable bits.
"Can I take one a'those later? Michonne asked ta cook fer her kids cuz she's out 'n Carol's off ta Kingdom--" "Throw the kids an old world barbeque! I'll come help. I'm sure you're skilled in roasting over an open fire with how much you traveled." The excitement was clear in your voice, and the sudden compliments and offers of gifts and assistance had him nervously fidgeting. But thinking about having a fun experience with the kids instead of just cooking and having dinner sounded way better than his original plan, so he agreed.
"Ya got supplies ta fix tha' in half a day?"
~~
The two of you cleaned up after finishing thr needed work and while you carried the prepped meats, Daryl had the bowl firepit on a kart together with the metal rack to hang over it. Yeah, he lived in a community now but he never guessed he'd be carrying around a whole barbeque setup like he was getting ready to throw a party in the old world. "Gotta drop by tha' house fer a sec, get Jude 'n RJ."
After he got the kids and you had everything set up Daryl got the fire started while you made a quick pantry run and dug through Daryl's kitchen for anything to add to the meals.
You brought whatever you found and set it on the side of the porch steps, keeping a path to the house cleared and sat yourself down in the front lawn as you watched uncle Daryl in action, letting the kids toss wood onto the fire and poke at it with a stick but making sure they kept their distance and wouldn't touch the hot metal.
It was heartwarming to see him laugh and have fun with them and watched him speak quetly to the kids with a finger pointed your way before the two came running towards you.
"Daryl says the fire's good for food! Can we put some on the thing?" Two pairs of big, begging eyes stared at you and saying no would be the worst so of course you allowed them, under surveillance and with an assisting hand. "Alright, pick something you wanna eat first and put it on a plate, Daryl will take it to the fire and I'l helf you put it on the rack, okay?"
A chime of "Okay!" baely left them before they were at the collection of prepared meats where you and Daryl joined them in picking.
While Daryl roasted the food over the fire you were tasked go keep the kids busy, but wirh hoe much they loved chatting about everything and anything it was an easy task.
The whole evening was fun and food and family and it reminded you of everything you missed in this new world.
Everything was good in this moment, especially when you heard a little exchange between uncle and niece.
"Uncle Daryl? Can we have more dinners with her? But also mom and aunt Carol next time." You watched Daryl look towards you for a moment before turning back to Judith. "'Course, she's teachin' me ta prepare food so we can do this with e'ryone if ya want. But!" He raised his hand and pointed at RJ, who came over to him too now. "Yer gonna be the ones askin' folk ta bring food too, so e'ryone has somethin' ta eat, 'kay?"
The two happily nodding kids proved that your time in the community just got a lot more fun.
Now, after the kids were long brought to bed you and Daryl stayed around the fire. Having taken the meat rack off and set asidr you were just relaxing and picking away at the leftovers.
"So," you started, watching the flames in front of you. "That community barbeque plan of yours, it sounded amazing especially how you brought it over to the kids. But, aren't you afraid it'll drain recources too quick?"
Daryl shrugged it off. "Maybe. But those kids'll make folks keep stuff aside fer it." The idea of those two running around the place collecting people brought a smile to his face. "'Sides, I ain't wastin' meat no more with yer lessons tha' I hope ya will keep givin' me."
Oh. He wanted to stay? At the shop? With you? You were pleasantly shocked with that news. "What? Ofcourse I'll teach you. But only of you promise to take me out hunting when my hand's okay again."
He let out a breathy laugh and nodded. "Yeah, I'd love ta have ya around."
You stretched and laid down in the grass, looking up at the night sky.
"S'gonna be fun."
493 notes · View notes
usedtobecooler · 2 years
Note
(I know you don't write for Steve but this just came to me) What about Steve teaching virgin!reader how to blow virgin!Eddie?!
Pairing | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington x fem!Reader
Warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), handjobs, blowjobs, inexperienced virgin reader, inexperienced virgin eddie, experienced pushy steve, awkward boners, bullying, mutual pining.
Word Count | 2.8k
A/N | i've never written for steve before and i took this and ran with it lmao, i hope i did your prompt justice!! if any of you see any mistakes, no you didn't, this wasnt proof read.
Eddie and Steve's relationship had always been odd. You'd noticed it from the first time you'd ever hung out with them, when Robin had dragged you along to meet her friends. You hadn't known her for long, but Robin was loud and unabashed and adamant you had to come hang out with her outside of work.
When you'd first clapped eyes on them both, you noticed the air seemed thick between them. The way they'd bite at each other constantly, bicker and call each other names, the way Steve's eyes would linger on Eddie's lips a second longer than what would be deemed appropriate.
It seemed like a constant fight for dominance, especially when the kids were around. A battle of who Dustin loved more, who Mike looked up to more, who Max harbored a secret 'big brother' liking to more. It was a constant game, and you wondered if they even liked each other.
Then, sometimes, they'd be sweet with each other. Steve would knock Eddie back with a gentle hand when he was about to stumble over a curb, Eddie would grab Steve a burger even when he said he wasn't hungry. Steve would even help him set up the D&D table, he didn't understand what it was about and never played, but he'd help anyway. Even when Eddie bitched that the way he did it was wrong.
So, it was weird. The more time you spent together, the more you found yourself being sucked into the dynamic unwillingly. Robin said she could tell Eddie had a crush on you, which made you blush -- he was cute, and surprisingly really nice despite the hard exterior, but Steve caught onto it pretty quickly and used it to his advantage during their bickering.
You'd walked in on them arguing about you one day, when they clearly thought they were alone. You stood behind the doorway, eavesdropping;
"What would she want with you, Munson? You're a twenty year old virgin, trust me she's not interested."
"Oh yeah? As opposed to what, exactly? The town slut? As if you're any better than me because you've fucked every girl our age."
"At least I didn't jizz in my pants when she gave me a hug."
"That didn't fucking happen, and if you tell her that I'll kill you."
"Ooh, scary."
The admission of Eddie being a virgin was unsurprising, chicks weren't exactly queuing up outside his trailer to fuck him. But, he was pretty, like devastatingly so. Once you got to know him he was a great guy, smarter than he made himself out to be and nothing like the people of Hawkins claimed he was.
The next time you all hung out together, three joints deep and a bottle of scotch being passed around, you made a point of also admitting to being a virgin, to make Eddie feel better. Steve had stared at you open mouthed and flustered, Eddie had choked on his gum, Robin had watched it all unfold and let out a loud barking laugh.
You'd hoped that it would settle Eddie's mind and maybe get Steve to back off and stop hounding him about it, particularly in front of you.
And now, how you ended up in this situation is fully Robin's fault and she'll get told that when you next see her. Her and Nancy had bowed out of your designated movie night ungracefully, claiming to be slammed with babysitting Holly at last minute, but you knew better.
The three of you were crammed up on Steve's bed, and you're wondering why he and Eddie willingly chose to sit next to each other, so close their arms were squashed together and their legs knocked. You were watching The Lost Boys, at Steve's adamance, because apparently it was the horror movie of the year, but you begged to differ, nothing exciting had happened yet.
It gets to a sex scene, and you awkwardly shuffle from where you're sat next to Eddie, cheeks burning hot as you avert your eyes from the screen. Neither of them notice, enamored with seeing a pair of tits on the screen like a pair of twelve year olds.
Your fingers accidentally brush Eddie's own, and you shoot back like you've been scalded, "Sorry, Eddie." You whisper quietly, settling back into your pillow with an inch of space between your bodies for safe measure.
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, which catches Steve's attention, making him turn away from the screen to look at you both, eyes flitting back and forth. Then, a scoff escapes him, "Trust you to pop a boner at a pair of fucking tits, Munson."
You furrow your brows, glancing down to where Steve's eyes wandered and oh. Eddie was hard, straining against the loose plaid pyjama pants that he always wore when you guys hung out at night, refusing to buy a pair of sweatpants.
Eddie's face is flushed a dark red, you can see it as clear as day from the glare of Steve's TV, "Fuck off, Harrington. They're a nice pair of tits."
"You're such a virgin, you want some help with that?" Steve wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and you think it's meant to come out as a joke but the way Steve says it seems anything but. He looks at you over Eddie's shoulder, motioning towards him, clamping a hand down on his leg, "Don't you think it's about time he got touched by something that wasn't his right hand?"
You flounder a little, unable to form proper thoughts at what Steve is insinuating, "What do you mean? That I should help him with that? I'm the unwilling third party here, keep me out of your homoerotic bullshit."
"We could both do it, silly. Was it not totally obvious that he's got a massive crush on you?" Steve shrugs like it's nothing, and you feel Eddie tensing up next to you, can see his cock straining further in his pants out of the corner of your eye. In that moment it clicks for you that they're both into this, have probably been waiting a while to find themselves in this situation, with you specifically.
"At this point I think you have a crush on him, you're so obsessed with him it's hilarious." You snark, leaning forward a little until you're crowded back in Eddie's space, hands bumping each others, "What do I get out of this, exactly?"
Steve looks you up and down, a cute grin gracing his face, "Trust me, you can have anything you want."
You chew on the inside of your lip, genuinely thinking about it. Did you really want your first time doing anything sexual with another person to be in a threesome? You clench your thighs at the thought, a wave of heat flushing through your body at the thought of being touched by four hands at once, two mouths.
You wonder how Eddie feels, he's uncharacteristically quiet. You hazard a glance back down, and Eddie has his hand clamped over Steve's own on his thigh. So, yeah, clearly he's into it too.
"Aw, c'mon, don't you want to show the freak a good time?" Steve asks, a smirk overcoming his features — it's disgustingly attractive, a far cry from the usually sweet Steve you knew when Eddie wasn't around, but it did things to you, made your tummy clench.
"Steve, I've never done this either... you know that," You pull your bottom lip with your teeth, chewing anxiously. It's not as if Eddie had anything to compare you to, you were both a pair of bumbling touch starved virgins, but you didn't want it to be bad for him, either.
"Harrington, if you don't stop rubbing my thigh I'm gonna cum in my pants," Eddie's voice cuts through the air, loud enough to knock you out of your trance and making you look up at him, taking in just how disheveled he was already from the merest touch.
"I'll show you how to do it," Steve says, completely ignoring Eddie's protests, never taking his eyes off of you as he brushes his hand up Eddie's thigh even higher, knocking his clothed hard dick with the back of his hand. Eddie hisses, Steve grins and lets out a cackle, "Won't take much, anyway, not if this is anything to go by."
"I am right here," Eddie balks, throwing his hands up in the air. Steve shushes him, shoving into Eddie's space like an eager puppy to grip at his pants and pull them down his thighs.
Of course Eddie doesn't wear underwear under them, why would he? His cock springs out, flushed and hard, the tip a pretty pink colour that makes your mouth water, a small amount of precum blurting out of his slit.
"You guys good with this?" Steve double checks, Eddie whines a little, which is enough of a reply for Steve. You don't even reply, batting Steve out of the way with one hand and wrapping your other one eagerly around the base of Eddie's dick - which to your delight elicits the prettiest little moan from his mouth.
"Eager little thing, isn't she?" Steve smirks at Eddie, which in return has you rolling your eyes and Eddie nodding his head fast. You slide your hand up the length of Eddie's cock slowly, shocked by how your fingers don't even wrap around it fully, all girthy and nice to touch.
"Right, you've not got enough lube for your hand to glide properly, here," Steve leans forward, mouth just mere centimetres away from Eddie's dick, and he lets out a glob of spit onto the head.
"Fuck, what the fuck," Eddie's words comes out erratic, eyes wide as he watches Steve spit all over him without a care in the world, like this was normal and something 'bros' did. Your hand squeezes the base of his cock a little to focus his attention back on you, hand sliding up to rub in the mess of Steve's spit and get him all nice and wet.
"There you go, see? Much easier." Steve's cocky demeanor is starting to diminish, you can tell by the way his voice comes out softer as he watches your skin connect with Eddie's, the slick slide of your fist up and down his cock. You feel Steve's large hand ghost over your lower back, under your shirt. You gasp quietly at the touch, the burning heat of his skin on yours making you shiver.
"Does this feel okay?" You ask Eddie quietly, ignoring what Steve just said because what the fuck would he know, it's not his dick being touched.
"Feels good, sweetheart, cross my heart." Eddie's cheeks are tinged rouge red, neck veins popping a little as he clearly struggles not to blow his load. You can see Steve looking back and forth between you both with curious eyes, smile still on his face, clearly enjoying watching a pair of virgins going at it like a creep.
"Do you want me to use my mouth?" You ask tentatively, cocking your head to the side as you keep eye contact with Eddie to try and gauge how he feels. It's meant to be innocent, comes out dirty. Dirty enough that Steve's hand moves to grip at your waist slightly, a soft sigh escaping him.
"You'd like that, right Eddie?" Steve's smile is sickly sweet, but you can tell he's starting to fold because he's using Eddie's real name, not his last name or a stupid nickname. Eddie nods silently, eyes shutting and head thumping back against Steve's plush headboard.
You slide down the bed quietly, shuffling until you're nestled in between Eddie's spread legs at an angle that meant you could just lean forward and slide your mouth over his length, "Tell me what to do then, genius."
"Take your hand off him, I'll do that, you just put your pretty mouth to use," Steve's slender fingers move yours out of the way until you're releasing Eddie's cock, his own large hand wrapping around the base and squeezing, making Eddie whimper.
Steve guides Eddie's dick over to rub the tip over your closed lips, smearing precum all over them. Your tummy clenches, ridiculously turned on by what you're doing, unable to stop your mind racing. You feel dizzy, like this is a dream you'll wake up from any moment.
"What're you waiting for? Wrap your lips around the head, give it a try." Steve's demanding, his voice firm with you, so you lean down and close the distance, opening your lips and sinking down onto the head, hot mouth engulfing Eddie's cock.
"Jesus Christ, fuck," Eddie cries out, can't help but open his eyes to look at you, has to see what you're both doing. The sight of Steve's massive fist around his cock, jerking it lightly into your mouth, you sucking and licking at him - he's teetering on the edge dangerously fast.
"Feels good, right?" Steve chuckles a little, looking between where his fist and your mouth meet and Eddie's blown out, wide eyes, "She didn't even need any help, knew just what do on her own like a good girl."
You and Eddie both moan in unison, the vibration on Eddie's cock enough to have his hips bucking up wildly, which in turn causes Steve to reach his free hand out and push him down onto the bed harshly, "Don't cum yet, Munson. Don't be a little bitch."
Eddie chokes out a little sob, whining at Steve being mean to him. It makes his body run hot, the coil in his tummy tighten. You glance up at him, mouth still full of his cock, just to make sure he's okay, and the bit of eye contact has Eddie losing it.
"Sorry, fuck, sorry, I'm cumming," Eddie grips at a chunk of Steve's meaty thigh and he comes with an embarrassingly loud yelp, Steve's hand tightening as he jerks Eddie's cock into your open, willing mouth, swallowing his release down like you'd done it a million times before.
You kitten lick at the head until Eddie shakes with sensitivity, popping off with a little grin, "You good? Back down to earth yet?"
Eddie smiles dumbly, saluting at you with two fingers, body completely sagged into Steve's plush sheets, flaccid cock still out, "Alive but barely."
You clamber up the bed, the sudden urge to kiss him overtaking your body. You fist a hand in his messy curls, pulling him up to kiss you. Eddie wraps an arm around your back, kissing you all sloppy, teeth and tongue, to an outsider it probably looked gross, but it was so hot to you that you wanted to cry.
You break apart to catch a breath, forehead to forehead with wild eyes and stupid little smiles on your faces. You ache with how much you like Eddie, a love for him overtaking your whole body. Steve clears his throat at your side, pulling you out of your trance, making you turn to look at him.
He's got a firm hand gripped into the arm of Eddie's shirt, you can see his own cock tenting in his loose sweatpants and God, it's big and intimidating, even through his clothes.
"Don't be greedy, share it with me," Steve closes the space between you both and smashes his lips onto yours, licking into your mouth expertly to swipe over your tongue. You moan into the kiss, cunt clenching at being used in this way. He kisses more firmly than Eddie, more sure of himself, it's nice in a different way.
Just as you're getting lost in it Steve pulls away, a whine dying in your throat when you open your eyes to see his face gliding closer to Eddie's, and then they're kissing too. Steve grapples for your waist with closed eyes, tugging you even closer to them both.
They're animalistic with each other, like they're both angry and filled with pent up rage. Eddie grips a hand in Steve's mane of hair, has him groaning into the kiss that's all teeth and grunting. You watch through hooded eyes, unable to take your gaze away from them, wetness pooling in your pretty underwear at the sight of them both.
A whine escapes you, the noise filling the air and cutting off their kiss, both of them looking at you with differing gazes. Steve looks like he wants to pin you down and fuck you into oblivion, Eddie looks like he's in love. Steve sits up a little, grabbing at you and Eddie with every free bit of his big hands, fingers roaming unabashedly.
Steve glances at you both, a smirk back to gracing his features, "If you think I'm done with you two yet, you're sorely mistaken."
6K notes · View notes
alocon · 8 months
Text
Irresistible - Lando Norris
Lando Norris x Fem!reader
written by alocon
Summary: Despite all hope, Lando never lost his feelings for his best friend's twin sister. However, he still hadn't acted on it. Well, that was until the party, which led you two into a long-term secret relationship
Warnings: 18+, nsfw, a bit of smut - not too much but still some, best friend's sister
[Masterlist] [Part Two Here] [Part Three Here] [Part Four Here]
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Irresistible - LN⁴ x Fem!reader
You and Lando Norris had always had a flirty relationship. It had always been a joke between you because it always really pissed off your brother. "Dude you can't flirt with my sister, that's weird, what the fuck." He would say. So they would do it more.
Lando first realised that he was falling for you when you both were 13. He was at Max's house playing games in his room when you walked into his room, angrily glaring at your brother. "Max, if you don't stop using my shampoo, I will kill you."
You hadn't realised that your brother wasn't in the room until afterwards. He had watched as your eyes trailed over every single feature on his face. You had smiled shyly, stepping into the room and holding out your hand. You told him your name. He told you his. Then your brother came back, and you said a few choice words to him before he kicked you out. And from that moment, Lando Norris was mesmerised
"It will go away," he always said. He tried not to feel for you because you're his best friend's twin sister, so it was wrong, right? However, through the years of trying to get over his feelings for you,all attempts would crash back down.
Through lockdown and 2021, you, Max, and Lando lived together. Max spent most of the time in his room. You spent a lot of the time in the living room, and Lando switched between the two. You were there when he got his first podium, and he went straight to you as Max wasn't there, pulling you into the biggest hug he could. You lost your voice from cheering for him.
In 2021, Max moved out, but you and Lando remained in the same house whilst you continued the apartment hunt in Monaco. You still had a house in England, though. For visiting family. You had always dreamed of living there - it was so beautiful. You and Lando had helped move each other in when you got there. He soon regretted that, though, when he had to put away the many pieces of lingerie that you owned. Maybe he shouldn't have offered to do that because the thoughts about it wouldn't leave his mind. And every time it got back into his brain, the blood decided to go elsewhere... Which, again, made it difficult as he would then have to sort the problem out, sometimes whilst you were also in the house.
He couldn't look at you the same after that. And you knew it. You knew it because there were multiple occasions where you had heard him moaning your name.
For 2 years, you knew that he wanted you in that way. You didn't know that he was equally as in love with you as you were with him, though. You could tell that he was only holding back because Max was your brother. Lando would've been all over you if he wasn't, you knew that. He had some small amount of self restraint remaining but you intended to change that. You started off small, just making more flirty comments, complaining about men being shit after failed dates because you hadn't got laid in a year and it was doing your head in. Then you felt more comfortable wearing your robe out of your room more often in the evenings rather than putting a jumper on to cover your pyjamas.
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Lando's voice could be heard from the kitchen as you walked in to grab yourself a drink. You felt his eyes on you almost immediately as you reached up to the cupboard, grabbing the glasses which were, inconveniently, on the highest shelf. He stuttered slightly as he continued his phone call, watching as you filled up your drink and shot him a wink before leaving.
He was fucked.
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On the day of the party in question, you had awoken to a sudden presence on top of you. You groaned, showing the laughing brit off of you. "Stop jumping onto me to wake me up, what the fuck, Lan."
He didn't answer, pulling you into a dramatic hug. "Happy birthday!" He started placing dramatic kisses on your forehead - a running joke you two had about you being home sick as your mother used to always do that.
"Wow, at least give me a birthday kiss on the lips," you joked, sitting up in bed and running your hand through your hair. He moved to sit beside you.
"Am I that irresistible that the first think you think about when you see me is kissing me?"
"Trust me." You leant closer to his earl, fingers trailing up his chest as you spoke. "You think you're irresistible? Wait until you see my outfit tonight." You got out of bed, heading to get ready for the day.
You hadn't seen him much after that. He had spent most of the day with Max, which you were fine with as you got him most days. The next time you saw him was at the party.
You should've known it would be like this. You both went half and half for the party on the venue but, of course, he had invited all of his friends before telling you the capacity, meaning that you couldn't invite any of your friends. It's how it went. He would do a party for them both but only with his friends and then would tell you not to speak to his friends because you were embarrassing. Great.
So that's how you ended up sat outside of the venue, in the garden, whilst most people were inside, just ignoring everyone. It was your birthday too but he had made this place, which you paid for for a joint party, all about himself.
She had been there for 5 hours and she had only actually talked to Ria, P, Oscar and Logan for a few minutes each. When they each asked why you were sat outside, you had made an excuse about having a slight headache. "Don't worry about me, just calming the headache down," you would say.
Lando was looking for you everywhere. He had been there for a few hours and seen no sign of you or your friends. It was only when his eyes met Oscar's that he finally inquired. "Osc, you haven't seen Max's sister anywhere have you? I still can't find her."
"Oh, yeah. Last I saw her, she was sat outside. Maybe check there?"
So that's where he went. He leant against the doorway after stepping outside. "Don't feel like partying? None of your friends are here."
You kept looking ahead of you, sitting on the bench which he soon joined you on. "Max took up the capacity with all of his friends so I couldn't invite anyone." You shrugged.
Lando's hand fell on top of yours which rested on the bench between you both. "Have you been here for 5 hours without speaking to anyone?"
"I said hi to Oscar, Logan and Ria and spoke to each of them for a few minutes."
He took the opportunity to look at your outfit. You were right - you looked really hot.
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You both fell into silence, just enjoying the view for a little while. Well, that was until a familiar song came on. It was one of your favourite slow songs.
He stood up, hand grabbing onto yours. "Come on," he said, helping you to your feet.
"What are we doing?"
"Dancing."
His hands slid to your waist as yours went straight onto his shoulders. You decided to let him lead, which he did well. You both gently swayed around to the sound of the music, your head placing onto his shoulder as you did. He grabbed your hand, dramatically spinning you, making you chuckle as you took the time to enjoy the party for the first time that night. When the song came to an end, you looked into his eyes, whispering a soft "thank you."
He didn't answer, eyes tracing every part of your face and outfit, almost like he was committing every part of you to memory. Almost as if, after he let go, you would disappear and his only way of remembering you was to think of how you looked this night. You leant towards him, your foreheads pressing against one another as his eyes trailed down to your lips. And then, he connected their lips. 'Finally' she thought.
As your lips finally met after years of longing and love, it felt like a reunion of souls. The warmth of his grip tightening on your waist caused you to feel a wave of familiarity and comfort as it reminded you of the tight hugs that you would get after being apart for even a couple of weeks whilst he raced. You felt him sigh against your lips contently, almost as if all his problems were disappearing. You felt yourself moving backwards until your back pressed to the wall of the venue as his lips continued to press to yours, his tongue licking your bottom lip as you opened your mouth to allow him access. It was an embrace of passion and tenderness, a silent conversation of emotions that spoke volumes more than words ever could.
They only pulled away when they heard someone swear. Pulling away, they saw Alex and Lily looking at them cheekily. "I didn't think there would be others here I just. We won't tell anyone what we saw, we can go elsewhere."
You started laughing softly as you realised that Lily and Alex were there for the exact same reason as the two of you were. This made Lily break out of their awkward phase and start laughing. Lando grabbed your hand, speaking up. "No, you guys stay here, we were just heading home. Right?" Seeing the lustful look in his eyes, you nodded quickly, letting him lead you away as you heard calls from Alex.
"Use protection."
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You felt yourself get pushed back onto Lando's bed as you, once again, melted into his embrace. His lips found your neck, not hesitating to press a bruising kiss into it, making you gasp softly. Lando pulled away to look into your eyes. "I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do this."
"Me too," you said, feeling his hands run down to the bottom off your dress. His shirt was already long gone. He tugged the dress, moving to stand up.
"I want this off." You don't hesitate to obey him, quickly slipping the black dress off before returning to the bed. By this point, he was also stood to remove his trousers. He then followed suit, turning to look at you. He looked over the lingerie you were wearing, biting his lip as he went back to you, quickly reconnecting your lips again. His hands found their way under your back and to your bra as he unclipped it, quickly throwing it off to the side and beginning to kiss down your body.
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Lando collapsed back onto the bed, catching his breath, head leaning onto your shoulder. You could feel him smile against your skin as he placed a couple of gentle kisses against you before he spoke. "Fuck, if I knew it would be that good, I would've made a move a long time ago."
You chuckled to this, rubbing your hand through his hair as he cuddled up closer to you. "How about we give it a few minutes and then shower and sleep, yes?"
"Only if I get to sleep beside you."
She placed a kiss on his forehead, nodding. "Of course." She paused for a minute before speaking for a second time. "Told you I would be irresistible."
-The End-
[Word Count - 1,963]
Hi All,
Once again - this is my 2nd thing I've written. Please give me feedback x
Short one. I'm not good at writing smut but could give it a proper go if anyone wanted me to. But for now, Hope this was okay!! Might make this a short series of stories but I am unsure yet. Have a good day!! x
Alocon
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cal-writes · 2 months
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the last post reminded me i’ve written sth like that before and idk if i ever shared it so enjoy shinichis classmates in kyoto
-
Nakamichi had always thought Kudou was kind of strange. Like one would look at a weird ass insect and think to themselves: There is something kind of fucked up going on with this thing. But hey, Nakamichi had also met Kudou’s parents once so like, he got it, right? People like that as your parents? You were bound to end up a little strange. Plus Kudou had that whole murder solving thing going on - which was admittedly very cool but also deeply unsettling at times. But Kudou always had the best stories, he was great at soccer. Nakamichi couldn’t really ask for more from the guy. You just learned to tune him out whenever he went on a weird tangent or started to mutter to himself and let him run off. Kudou disappearing overnight without warning wasn’t even the strangest thing he had ever done that Nakamichi knew about so it was whatever. Kinda sucked to have their best player MIA but they dealt with it. Ran and Sonoko talking about him loudly in class kept most of them up to date about what shenanigans he got into so Nakamichi wasn’t all that concerned.
He was insanely surprised to find out that Kudou would be joining them on their Kyoto trip and even more so when Kudou actually showed up and didn’t immediately run off. Nakamichi found himself actually looking forward to catching up with Kudou for once because over a year of him being fuck knows where? A guy was allowed to have some questions.
The amount of questions he had only increased at Kudou getting to their room looking like death warmed over and dodging any attempt to start a conversation until he was buried in bed.
Sure, Kudou was weird. But there was a spectrum and that was definitely out of character weird. Then he started to talk with an accent too. Nakamichi wasn’t a detective but you couldn’t help but pick up a certain radar for out of wack shit once you hung around Kudou for long enough.
“What do you think happened to him?” Aizawa from their soccer club stage whispered deep in the night after most of them had already dropped off. Nakamichi paused on his way to crawl into his bed and glanced over to Kudou’s bed.
“He got game apparently.” Nakamichi said, chuckling to himself. A year ago he couldn’t have imagined Kudou ever getting the balls to actually confess to Mouri. And make out with her too.
Aizawa snorted. “What if he had to go, like, undercover or something.” Aizawa theorized and Nakamichi fell into the sweet embrace of his bed.
“Probably something like that. Dude’s got the worst luck in the world.” He muttered into the pillow. He fell asleep before hearing Aizawa’s reply.
He slept like a rock. Between one conscious thought and the next it felt like no time had passed at all. “Hattori! Wake up!” He heard Kudou’s voice shouting and Nakamichi’s first instinct was to tell him to fuck off. When his brain caught up with him, Nakamichi opened his eyes and blinked at the ceiling. Who the hell was Hattori? “Something happened again.” Kudou’s voice was a hiss, now trying to be quiet. Nakamichi’s head leaned to the side and it took a while for him to understand what he was seeing.
Kudou leaned over his own bed, shaking another guy awake that Nakamichi had never seen before. The fuck? It was definitely not one of their classmates. Hattori?
“I’m up, I’m up.” Hattori? Said and threw the blankets off of him. Had he slept in Kudou’s bed? Well, obviously he had. Nakamichi shut his eyes as the two of them puttered about the room. “You good?” The guy had an accent.
“I’m fine.” Kudou said, sounding kind of breathless. “Come on, before any of them wake up.” He said as they shuffled past Nakamichi’s bed.
“Cheap ass hotel bed, my back hurts.” The new guy said earning him a scoff from Kudou.
“Your back hurts?”, Kudou said and Nakamichi’s eyes snapped open in a flash. “You’re not the one-” The rest of his sentence was lost behind the door as the two of them left the room.
Nakamichi laid there for a moment, just looking at nothing.
Fuck. Kudou had gotten game while he had been gone, just not in the way Nakamichi had thought. Who would have thought that Kudou would disappear for months and come back with a secret boyfriend? He sat up slowly. The revelation had woken him up faster than any coffee. Did Mouri know about this? Of course she would know! Kudou and her have been inseparable since forever. Ohh. Nakamichi slapped his own forehead. Of course, Mouri was the cover. That was why Kudou had reacted weirdly when they had asked him about London. Damn, had his boyfriend been in the room the whole time? Hiding under the bed? Maybe Kudou hadn’t forgotten his key, maybe he had just given it to Hattori.
This. This wasn’t what Nakamichi had expected but the more he thought about it, the more things fell into place. Of course Kudou wasn’t straight! He should have clocked that around the third lecture about Sherlock Holmes he had to endure before Kudou stopped bothering with it. Nobody was that into a fictional guy just because.
Aizawa groaned from the floor, sitting up with one of their scattered playing cards stuck to his face. “Mornin’.” He said with a wide yawn.
Nakamichi wanted to explode and tell Yoksuke everything immediately but stopped himself after inhaling. Kudou had smuggled his boyfriend into their room, probably in the middle of the night so none of them would see and ushered him outside at ass crack of dawn. Kudou wasn’t one for embarrassment but he was one that cared a lot about other people’s opinion of them. Damn, he probably thought they’d make fun of him for being gay or beat him up or something.
“You good, man?” Aizawa asked when he didn’t reply. He folded his arms over the bed, eyes tiny slits crusted with sleep.
Nakamichi nodded quickly. “Yeah. Don’t think I’ve ever slept this good.” He said.
Aizawa groaned. “Wish I could say the same.” He got onto his feet, stretching his arms above his head. “Kudou’s gone already?” He asked and Nakamichi threw his blankets off of him.
“Probably to get breakfast.” He said in a hurry and shook the other two guys that had crashed in their room awake. Aizawa didn’t question it. Nakamichi swallowed down his excitement. Whenever he got Kudou alone he’d have to tell him that his secret was safe with him. They might never had been the best of friends but hey, Nakamichi could totally understand wanting to keep being gay on the down low, especially with how much public scrutiny Kudou was under all the time. Nakamichi’s lips were sealed! Now if he could only remember why the name Hattori sounded so damn familiar.
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kamiversee · 3 months
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➶-͙˚ ༘✶ F*CK THE LIST
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✧.* CHAPTER 4 || Fuck The Prequel
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A continued tale after Gojo Satoru's blackmailing seemed to have much more to it than meets the eye.
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, backstory, angst, & a tinge of fluff.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 2k (this is the shortest chapter I've ever written, help)
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——IT WAS ALMOST AS THOUGH meeting you was an official game changer for him. The day you met will never not cross Gojo’s mind at least once every twenty-four hours. He remembers every detail of the encounter, despite how simple it was.
It was your new roommate, at the time, Shoko who’d introduced the two of you to one another and it felt like a goddamn fever dream to Gojo. There you were standing just a few feet away from him after he’d spent weeks getting himself together just to be able to hold a conversation with you without stumbling over his words or saying something weird.
Shoko had Gojo and Geto over at the time and you were in the kitchen when the trio walked in, brief greetings made before she took them to the living room to hang out. Gojo remembers you and Geto saying hi to one another but when you looked at him, both of you just awkwardly acknowledged one another with a wave. Of course, Gojo would learn months later that you found that little wave of yours embarrassing but to him, he always found it cute and just assumed you were shy.
After all, so was he. Or maybe nervous is the better word to put to it because his heart was pounding in his chest the entire time he was at your apartment. Even when he was taken to the living room with Shoko, he was sweating and worried that you’d magically see right through him and figure out all that he’d done in the past.
Guilt was eating away at him so much that he couldn’t even focus on Shoko and Geto’s laughter about some show playing on the television ahead. He needed a moment to clear his air and even considered leaving for a second.
With a sigh, Gojo eventually excused himself to get water from the kitchen, hoping a cool drink would help calm him down. By that time, it’d been an hour since he’s entered your home and he figured there was no chance he’d run into you again since Shoko mentioned you usually hole yourself up in your room.
As such, when Gojo got into the kitchen, he found himself searching for a bottle of water– nervously opening a few cabinets as he didn’t want to seem like he was snooping through you and Shoko’s place. He was so nervous that his fingers were trembling ever so slightly.
His heartbeat felt like it was thrumming throughout his eardrums and Gojo wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He just knew everything would blow up in his face the very second he ever spoke to you-
“Gojo, right?” The sound of your voice somewhere behind him made him flinch so hard that he almost yelped.
With yet another gulp, Gojo was slow to turn his head back over his shoulder to glance in your direction. The second he made eye contact with you it was like all his fear just melted away. Whatever nerves he had building up inside him simply disappeared and he found himself centered by your gaze alone.
He takes a second to nod at your question, “Yeah.”
You gave him the smallest little smile and he was just frozen in front of you. Though, you couldn’t really tell from your perspective, “Let me know if you need anything.”
Gojo swallows thickly and nods again, saving himself with a smile, “Yeah, actually. I uh, I can’t find any water. I didn’t wanna rummage through all your things but-”
“Did you try looking in the fridge?” Your voice was almost teasing and that small smile of yours was growing as you stepped fully into the kitchen and made your way to the refrigerator.
He blinked, “Well-, no, actually. I did not look in the fridge…” He responds with just the same amount of teasing in his voice.
The sound of your chuckling could be heard as the door to the fridge swung open and you bent down to grab a bottle of water for him. Then, you stood up and held it out to him, “Here.”
Gojo stares at you, a billion and one thoughts running through his head. Most of your body was hidden behind the still-open fridge door and you were slightly leaning on it, holding out a bottle of water for him with a kind grin on your face. Shit, you were real. It’s not like he didn’t know that already but-, hell, here you were interacting with him.
You’re real. This is real. You’re not just some girl he was watching from afar or found himself infatuated with. You are a real human standing right in front of him and talking to him. The realization hits him so suddenly that Gojo’s left staring at you for far longer than he means to, leaving you to raise a brow at his lost little gaze.
Your hand starts to retract a bit, “Did you uh, not want cold water? I think we have some room temp in the-”
“Nono,” Gojo rushes out, taking a deep breath, “Cold waters fine, sorry.” He hums as he finally takes that step forward and grabs the offered drink from your hand.
Fuck, he could only imagine how he came off just now. He probably looked so weird staring at you. You probably hate him alread-
“Right, well, let me know if you need anything else,” Your talking cuts his thoughts off again as you casually step away from the fridge and shut it. 
Gojo nods in acknowledgment and with that, you’re heading back to your room within the next minute. Left alone in the kitchen with his thoughts, Gojo begins to realize a number of things all at once. The main thought being that you’re a real person. With such an understanding of that fact alone, all the guilt he’s felt practically triplets.
His head is pounding with thought after thought of how the hell he’s going to execute this whole plan with you. He regrets everything he’s done in private while thinking about you, every time he’s placed himself in areas where he could catch a glimpse of you, and that disgusting journal of his that creepily depicts his thoughts of you over the years.
Gojo wishes he could restart everything and go all the way back to the day he saw you at that party and talk to you. He knew he was interested in you from the moment he laid eyes on you so why didn’t he just talk to you? Why didn’t he talk to you after that? Why did he grow so obsessed with a woman he doesn’t even know-
Holy fuck. It all hits him at once. Gojo’s never been obsessed with you or in love with you but rather the mere idea of you and what you’re like. He doesn’t know anything personal about you outside of what Shoko’s told him or what he’s witnessed from a distance.
Moving a palm over his face, Gojo lets out a long sigh before scoffing at himself. Okay, maybe this whole blackmail plan wasn’t going to be that hard after all. He’s not in love with you, just the you he has in his head. So, essentially, unless you turn out to be just as he sees you mentally, this should be rather easy to pull off. All he has to do is pretend to be some asshole to some stranger, in a sense.
But, as we know, these kinds of thoughts are much better said than done because you turn out to be a thousand times better than the version of you in his head he grew infatuated with. But hey, he doesn’t realize that until months later when the list actually starts.
Gojo doesn’t know what moment it was specifically that he started to realize you were much better than he thought you were– perhaps it was the first time he kissed you or the first time he had sex with you, or even every time he kissed you and that face you make when you gaze at him like he’s the most beautifully devastating thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. The way your breathing is all soft after a kiss as if your breath was stolen, how you stare right into his eyes and so clearly get lost in them-, wrapped up in everything that’s him, it all makes his heart swell to new degrees.
Whenever you speak it’s like he can’t hear anything else but every syllable leaving your lips. Is it possible to be addicted to someone’s sound alone? When you laugh, his skin feels tingly and his heart turns to pure mush. Even when you were angry at him, Gojo found himself oh so curious. He couldn’t help but study anything and everything that was you once he got the chance to do so.
Getting entangled with you was both the best and worst thing to ever have happened to him. It was the worst because hurting you and bringing you pain was inevitable but it was blissful because in the process he found himself realizing that his obsession and level of love for you had died and come back to life within months. 
That one morning after the first time you slept with Geto lingers inside Gojo’s head. The entire thing from start to finish is the perfect way to describe how you feel inside his mind. From something so soft, gentle, and loving to a raging storm that makes him so unbearably angry at himself– you, were something indescribable for Gojo.
You’re his peace, his heartache, his pain, his joy, his literal everything, even if you shouldn’t be. The obsession he had for you was dead by the time the list started but once it was over, he felt like he was right back where he started. Hell, it was as if that longing desire to be in your presence had tripled.
His last official conversation with you will never fail to ring throughout his head, even if it were years later when he finally learned to move on. 
You were the highlighting factor of Gojo’s life. The idea of you destroyed him and yet the real you healed him. All things that you were clueless about. In one of your last few conversations with him before the two of you really parted ways, Gojo answered an important question you’d asked him by telling you he fell in love with you through his blackmailing but had also been in love with you from the start…
In reality, he finds that it was more of him trying to protect and fix himself from the start only to genuinely fall in love with you, and not just the idea, later on. Gojo thinks it was the way that even you found yourself feeling hints of such a strong emotion toward him despite the shit he was putting you through.
You fell for the simple act of him kissing you over anyone else you experienced– even Choso. Would that still have been possible if you’d known the truth from the beginning? Gojo barely even wants to think about it but it is a good question. You did tell him at one point that you would’ve liked knowing he was obsessed with you earlier on since you were lonely but, you and him both know that’s not true.
And even if by chance it is true, he didn’t want that for you; it’s not healthy.
Above the obsession, the love, the lust, the confusion, hate, anger, regret, and any other emotions experienced throughout the torment that was enduring that damn list… Gojo ever only truly wished one thing for you and that was happiness. Aside from anything else, joy was the first emotion he ever saw you display.
It was the emotion that attracted him to you. Your laughter, your smiles, your happiness, if he could in any way protect that, even from himself, then he’d do anything necessary.
Which is why when he receives a random call from Choso one day during the summer after the list is over, he realizes that his story with you hasn’t quite come to its end yet.
From The F*ck List to F*ck The List… It seems as though Gojo Satoru’s blackmailing really did have much more to it than meets the eye.
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[ { A/N } ] ➤ In case it's not clear, this is the end of the prequel and the following events from here on out occur after the alternate ending of The F*ck List.
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mlist || previous || next
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tags 1/4; @lavnederr @stopmila @chelsea14 @hillmiaxoxo @choso-enthusiast
@chososdisciple @suguruologist @mitzkooni @annananamin @jakeywon
@thvema @uranometrias @gigiipeaches @isawrd @bored--boring
@soonyoung-park @oidloid @you-make-skz-stay @haesify @paintedcans
@deljojeisbackagain @heeheeswifey @s-kateboardcat @kaalyomi @rilxigh
@win2xsgf @diana4l @angelsleepinggurl @aselvaticotaku @livvyluvsyouu
@tadabzzzbee @buglikeangell @sukunadckrider @todod0kii @mua-for-now
@dazaiswaifuartisan @bee3l0v3r @blkpotionss @cranberrycosmos @cawwotta
@chosomi @gentle-roxyboo @teonawrites @interludered @wannabeotaku
@earthytreeswithc @tapinz @attackonjacksons @hovogliadisogni @hoebuns
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shiki-jin · 5 months
Text
YOUR CELESTIAL MAJESTY • SAGAU
(part 0 here)
was listening to TruE on loop while writing the last part of this, it's genuinely such a good song ugwvdya
also can you spot the contradiction ;D it's plot relevant i promise
not proofread, dont bully me ill write a thesis on why youre a meanie
you had long deleted genshin, since you had other things to do. you had wanted to go back to the game for a while now, now that you were less busy, but there was just one little problem.
it was now taking up nearly triple the amount of space that it was when you uninstalled it. around 300 whole gigabytes.
jesus christ, what phone can even handle this???
your phone, apparently. because as you opened the game to see if maybe a miracle would happen and that if maybe they would just, like, remove half of the things in the game, it just… kinda loaded?
no installing new files, no checking for anything, no nothing…. just an immediate pan to the gates of celestia.
you decided to check if it was the right genshin since this was just way too weird, but countering your judgement, every link you found led you to the same game, leading you to believe it not to be a bootleg or an illegal version.
guess i’ll trust it then.
you clicked on the gates which opened smoothly, and your screen turned white. then, the symbols of the seven elements appeared in gray.
and then the game just… opened. no loading time, once again. no getting stuck on the geo symbol, nothing. nada. just a smooth entrance into what you had to assume to be teyvat — but your surroundings didn't really support that claim.
the grass was brown and just looked off, the sky was gray. a darker shade than, say, mond’s walls, but it was like one of those game crashes.
well, except you could still move around.
you moved your current character around (the traveller? since when were they the only one in your team?) and decided to open the map after not figuring out where you could possibly be.
hold on, this is springvale? since when?
eveything looked dead, like it had been rotting for a century. you tried to ignore it though, and teleported to the inside of mondstadt. surely this was just some glitch, right? one that would fix itself if you teleported?
maybe the world loaded incorrectly, maybe the fact that nothing took time to load meant that it couldn't load, maybe this or that, maybe…
maybe this really was how the game looked normally. you hadn't done any quests though, so you wondered if it could be restored.
you took a screenshot of the your surroundings — the stone, worn down and dirty. the houses which looked to be in a horrible state, and… the npcs, all sickly and pale, like they were starving.
you went to reddit (yes, reddit), and posted the screenshot, asking if it was normal.
you closed the game and decided to take a nap, too tired to really deal with this shit any further.
while you slumbered, people replied to your post.
╰┈➤ lol me too anon, me too
╰┈➤ isn't the game closed or wtv? how'd you get this wtf
╰┈➤ they're trolling
╰┈➤ o makes sense oops
╰┈➤ So we’re all still mourning huh
╰┈➤ jokes aside that's a super impressive edit ngl
you remained unaware of the truth, but you'd find out soon enough.
actually, you'd find out now, apparently…
what the fuck?? why is my bed so hard now?
you groaned and forced your eyes open, seeing a dark, nearly black sky.
the only light was a single star, lingering right above you.
“since when was i outside...?"
a voice spoke to you, answering your question.
“you always have been, have you not? but would you like to head inside, my lord?”
... huh? i recognize that voice...
p.s. place your bets on who it is, i’m thinking of one specific character but if there's a fan fav i'll make it them instead since i haven't written anything beyond this point (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)
p.s.s. don't expect updates to this series too quickly, i wish i could write as quick as i think of ideas but sadly that's not the case orz
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pupkashi · 1 year
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satoru is SHIT at flirting and i know it
like he could easily make people swoon when he doesn’t try but the second he decides ‘yeah i have feeling for u’ all his game goes down the drain
he uses stupid pick up lines and stuff on u but always manages to mess them up so they never actually work
“satoru where are you? shoko said the meeting was at 5:30” you asked, phone pressed to you cheek as you continued to look for the sorcerer.
“sorry I’m just lost” he pauses, a smile on his face, his confidence through the roof as he open his mouth again, “lost in those eyes of yours.”
silence.
“satoru we are on the phone”
he is absolutely mortified and debates on just completely giving up, but it’s when he’s unaware of his actions and just being himself that he finds you staring at him a bit longer, giggling at his words and blushing.
satoru is shit at flirting, but god is he a natural fucking charmer
he’s holding the door open for you, offering to walk you home, listening to you talk, watching your favorite shows with you and remembering your favorite things. he picks flowers for you and gives them to you, pays for your lunch anytime you guys are together, he’s always making you laugh and giggle even when he’s feeling like shit.
he’s the kind of guy to always brush hands with you when you’re walking next to each other, he’s holding your things for you, texting you and sending you things you’d find funny or that remind him of you, complimenting you constantly but not in a weird way
he’s the kind of bad flirting that hears you mention you like something and then he’s like “oh me too!” without missing a beat but he’s actually never consumed a single piece of media of the thing ur talking about and spends all night learning abt it in case you ever bring it up again
he once asked you if you could help him study before an exam and when he realized that you knew much less than him he ended up teaching you. he was sure his luck had ran out and he had fumbled extremely hard.
“toru! i passed!” you grinned, holding the paper in front of his face. the 90 written in red ink in the top right corner made his lips curl into a smile, grinning right back at you.
“i told you that you’d do great! I’m proud of you” he smiles, not expecting your arms to be thrown around his neck, squealing softly as you pull him into a hug.
you’re only giving him half a second to process what’s happening when your lips find his cheek, your heart racing and you’re hoping that shoko really did know gojo as much as she claimed to.
satoru is stunned, his face is red and his ears are burning and he should probably close his mouth or actually say something before all his efforts are washed away.
“haha cool” is all he stutters out, he’s cringing insanely hard and subtly pinching himself when you’re staring up at him with nervous eyes.
“yeah cool,” you mumble, already turning on your heel read to lock yourself in your room when he’s grabbing your wrist and pulling you into his chest.
“can i kiss you?” he whispers, your faces mere inches apart, your small nod is all he needs before he’s crashing his lips onto yours, smiling into the kiss because holy shit i fucking made it.
when he’s pulling away from you he has this silly little grin on his face, clearing his throat before finally speaking up.
“I’m really glad you passed” he says, you can’t help but want to tear your hair out, what happened to the satoru that could make any girl swoon?
it’s not until after the two of you start dating that he’s back to normal, using every pick up line in the book (correctly this time) and making your blush like it was his job. he’d make you stutter and roll your eyes, so naturally flirting with you.
you would always make fun of him and ask where this was when he was crushing on you, he’d only get extremely red and start pouting, saying he was just too embarrassed because he thought you’d reject him.
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a/n: hi hi back w a silly little drabble :P i don’t really like this much but i really wanted to post something so i hope it’s okay !! i think it’s sweet and silly hehe,, requests are open so feel free to drop something :3
taglist (send an ask to be added!) : @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
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beesmygod · 6 months
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dark souls lore: velka, goddess of sin, and that stupid plot against the stupid gods (5k words)
*written to entertain both hardcore fans and fandom rubberneckers
i made the mistake of thinking about dark souls lore the other day after choosing to make myself mad about the remaster again, but in the worst possible way. soulsborne fans know to fear and run from anyone who starts talking about this unseen character known only through item descriptions: velka, goddess of sin. if you start talking about velka you’re too far gone in the souls sauce and about to spout some of the most unhinged nonsense ever uttered by a human on the entire history of the planet. velka and the highly secretive “plot against the gods” are quietly mentioned in less than 10 item descriptions. no character utters her name or speaks of the rebellion she participated in, she and her comrades do not appear in the game…probably. its complicated.
her inclusion initially reads as a throw-away means of world-building; much like the now infamous line about the “clone wars” in “star wars: a new hope” that was needlessly fleshed out into a trilogy that haunts us even to this day, the item descriptions serve to establish that you have entered a world overflowing with heroes and history that you were not privy to nor took part in. these events are such a basic foundation of lordran history that no one mentions it because it would be inorganic and narratively heavy-handed. its like if we walked around talking about when lincoln was shot on a day to day basis just in case anyone wasn’t up to speed.
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anyway, this thought process started after i realized how fucking weird it is that a giant crow transports you from undead asylum to firelink shrine…why would it do that??? like, yes, obviously it’s a gameplay contrivance in order to get you from point A to point B with a cinematic, fantastical flair, i understand that. i also understand that velka herself is a gameplay contrivance with story written around it to soften the landing, but unfortunately, dark souls is a thread that unravels quickly when you pick at it, revealing shocking narrative cohesion underneath. if you’re completely insane, that is.
we will do this in a journalistic manner: who, what, when, where, why. but first, it requires a lot of dark souls history/lore context. it’s a lot. stick with me.
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this is so much info. this also contains gay dragon theory and somehow argues that it's supported by text. why not. please enjoy this unbelievable amount of words regarding a non-entity who does not exist meaningfully in any of the three games.
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faggot-greg-house · 8 months
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house is autistic i will accept no criticism
i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.
a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!
he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)
he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)
he stims constantly and he needs Sensations
he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc
he has a hard time making friends
he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)
he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)
he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)
he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)
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