#wizardrants

[ultimatefartwizard]

EARTHSPARK MESSAGES AND SUBTEXT THATS NOT EVEN SUBTEXT

It's been a while since I have posted as I've been busy with finals, but I saw a post that absolutely made me spur a headache with just how utterly fatuous of a take I saw on Transformers Earthspark and the messages it sends.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT USE THIS POST TO ATTACK OR HARASS ANYONE, THIS IS ONLINE DISCUSSION OF A WORK OF MEDIA.

THIS ALSO COVERS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 OF EARTHSPARK, IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SUCH A TOPIC PLEASE REDIRECT YOURSELF.

@monocle-teacup Won't repost your post as the way tumblr reposts works would have everything funnel onto your account, but I'll be pinging you and I did screenshot your post for viewer's context:

I have ALOT to talk about here, while also being completely in shock and disbelief how you end up BELEIVING THE SIDE THAT IS A GENOCIDAL LUNATIC WHO SEES THE TRANSFORMERS AS SUBHUMAN AND A DISEASE ON THE EARTH??? AND IS WILLING TO FULL ASS MURDER AND MUTILATE PEOPLE? From here any * you may see is likely a footnote mark to check details I put at the end for clarity. If I miss something, let me know and I will clarify.

Before I get into the meat of dissecting your clearly ill-informed and definitely not thoroughly thought out post, I need to get something out of the way because I believe you'll use this as a means of shielding yourself from incoming critique: It's okay to like and enjoy characters who are clearly bad people. There is a CLEAR difference between enjoying a fictional character and agreeing with whatever they might do or say. I enjoy many bad and morally reprehensible characters, including Mandroid/Doctor Meridian, but that doesn't mean I agree with them or don't find their actions and ideas deplorable. If you find yourself agreeing with someone who sees another group of people* as being subhuman or a danger to society you need to reconsider your ideologies and thought processes. Like ASAP.

Okay onto the actual deconstruction of your statements, why they are blatantly lacking a thorough reading of the messages in Earthspark, or even lead into uncomfortably ignorant territories both with Transformers and very real-life, human related things.

As a first point, you state that you hope this show re-examines the fact that hatred towards another group of people (even if they are fictional) automatically makes them a terrible person, and bring up the statement that the show makes GHOST's detainment of transformers look "cartoonishly evil" but does absolutely nothing to address Dr.Meridian's statements of transformers being dangerous.

Yes. Yes it ABSOLUTELY DOES address that throughout the entire show. In fact, the whole season is literally about deconstructing the notion that BOTH Dr.Meridian's and GHOST's ideals and methods are harmful if not downright discriminatory towards transformers as a whole.

GHOST's method of control is a guise under the US government by detaining any transformer they deem as "a threat", this can even mean autobots or non-aligned transformers who don't want to join their organization or are just doing their own thing. They will willingly classify them all as "Decepticons" to justify their inhumane treatment of them. This is paralleling how humans will stereotype and conflate other groups of people, as being all associated with one singular event or organization of people that is seen as bad or a danger to society* and use that stereotyped ideal to weaponize it against them and justify harming them in multiple ways; which is what Dr.Meridian ALSO DOES THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW. Dr.Meridian is a scientist that literally works with and is a huge provider of technology to GHOST, he literally works with them and experiments on the detained transformers. You can't say "oh GHOST bad Dr.Mer not so bad" when he's LITERALLY PART OF GHOST AND YOU CANNOT SEPARATE THEM. HE IS EXTREME AND OUTSPOKEN ABOUT HIS HATRED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW AND ACTIVELY IS SHOWN TO BE ENTIRLEY IN THE WRONG BOTH IDEOLOGICALLY AND ACTION WISE. You clearly have not watched with a critical eye if you think they never address his points or somehow he is right about something. He never is and it shows just how harmful his mentality is. You don't even need words spoken out loud to know he's ALREADY HEINOUSLY WRONG AND BIGOTED.

Why should the show, one that shows transformers having to battle against racist and xenophobic hatred towards them from humans, re-examine that relationship? People are being discriminatory to people they don't like, and to them it doesn't matter if they are decepticon or not; they're all the same and dangerous in their eyes. Yes, there was a war brought onto earth's soil from pure happenstance of where the Ark and members of the two named groups had landed, and yes it was bloody and many lives were lost like any war is. Should the war, as well as atrocious acts of violence by a few and the circumstance that which the birth and type of being transformers are deem all transformers as dangerous? OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NOT. That's literally stereotyping. That's what Dr.Meridian is doing. He's literally grouped them all into one conglomerate in his head and sees them all as pests to be exterminated.

The transformers are both immigrants and refugees of war that had lasted thousands of millions of years and a desperate attempt to find any source of energon because they would STARVE TO DEATH IF THEY DIDN'T AND RESOURCES WERE DANGEROUSLY SCARCE ON CYBERTRON. They are thousands of lightyears away from home in a place that doesn't have the cultures they are familiar with and structures built for them which accommodates their needs. And to add onto it, most were never originally outfitted with guns and shit. They had to ARM THEMSELVES TO PROTECT AGAINST ATTACKS. JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE A GUN POP OUT OF THEIR BODY DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE BUILT LIKE THAT NOR DOES IT MEAN THEY ARE AUTOMATICALLY ALL DANGEROUS. The only ones who are theoretically "built for war/violence" are war-frames like seekers, but they didn't even CHOOSE THAT LIFE OR WANT IT! THEY ARE COLD CONSTRUCTED* AND LITERALLY ENSLAVED INTO BEING CANON FODDER FOR WHATEVER SKERMISH THEY ARE DEEMED NEEDED FOR. Starscream wasn't even a warrior before this, he was just some nerd ass scientist. Cold constructed bots and War-frames are already deemed subhuman by other transformers. The entire war that you see is a continual millions of years struggle which the origins are in a fight against their own horrible systematic oppressions to try and bring freedom and put an end to the horrible reign back on Cybertron. How does them being robot organisms displaced by ongoing war, a continual brutal and bloody struggle for freedom back at home, and dangerous resource scarcity make them any more dangerous than your average person? And the "they are robots/walking death machines" argument doesn't count because you're only seeing them from a nonhuman lense in that case. Take off those nuts and bolts covered glasses and think of how this would be if they were all humans instead. The visuals of only seeing them for their robotics are blocking your ability to view this group as simply a mirroring of humans in nonhuman bodies. Humans are just as dangerous and ostracizing as them. Literally humans slaughter other humans frequently; bring upon hatred and obscene actions onto one another with or without robotic attachments and aid of machines. Just because the transformers are robotic extraterrestrials who are "different biologically/mechanically" makes it no different from the dehumanization and other forms of racism and xenophobia. Transformers are literally just... humans in a robot shell. You can't argue against this at all because most if not all have human forms, ALL of them have human minds, and just happen to come from a planet they need to be insanely large sized on, as well as already pre-armed due to conflict that they have escaped from.

The whole story of Earthspark is LITERALLY about the experiences of the Terrans; first generation descendants of immigrant refugees navigating the struggles that come with being just that. They make whole episodes surrounding their feelings of alienation and their struggle to have a place in the world, their culture and history and who they are. They want to feel they belong and feel they have a place in this world and be seen just as human and belonging as their human family. Their government and the world around them alienates them and treats them sub-humanly despite them being just as human, flaws and all, as us. Since I'm praddling on about this topic, did you even ABSORB ANY OF THE EPISODES HOME PART 1 AND 2???? IT'S ABOUT THIS TOPIC AND TEACHES HOW THIS MENTALITY OF TREATING THE TRANSFORMERS AS SUBHUMAN ALIENS THAT NEED TO GO AWAY OR NEED TO BE CLASSIFIED AS DANGEROUS/A INVASIVE "SPECIES" THAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED IS BAD. IT SHOWS THE RACISM AND XENOPHOBIA THAT ESPECIALLY COMES WITH BEING CHILDREN OF IMMIGRANTS AND THE ISOLATION THEY FACE.

Please, I heavily implore you to go back and watch them. You somehow miss the entire point of the show and ESPECIALLY this episode. Many episodes cover different points of their existence as first gen children and the reality that the transformers have to face in general while being refugees on a planet with others being hostile and degrading to them but this particular episode is the one that tackles the points I make in this post the most. It may not go super deep into it due to forced time constraints and other executive nonsense that makes it harder to go into more detail but it still covers the topic very well.

Humans getting nipped at the heels for being bigoted towards transformers isn't some "ouugh you can't think the decepticons did bad things" type of nonsense and I absolutely hate the "oh because you can't be bigoted towards a group of people it means you suddenly can't criticize the actions of someone who happens to be someone of that group" mentality you seem to be concocting out of thin air. It's them associating the entire race of transformers as all bad, unbelonging or worthy of being seen as dangerous and to be wary around them or like they need to not be on earth and "go back where they came from". You go between "decepticons" and "transformers" interchangeably and seem to do exactly as the show heeds against heavily; conglomerating the actions of a FEW to encompass the overall worthiness of a WHOLE POPULATION OF PEOPLE.

Doctor Meridian is wrong and genuinely evil and disturbing with how he treats them and him seeing them as dangerous and a pest needing to be eradicated nor should any of his views be agreed upon, no matter how much you may try to defend him. There's more I could add but for simplicity's sake but that's what I mainly will state. The rest of clarity can be discussed in the comments.

I'm not sure whether your lack of understanding of the show and its messaging you are discussing or your love for one of the major villains is clouding your judgement, but please read EVERYTHING here to its fullest extent. Nothing here is intended as an attack on your character (if you're somehow seeing it that way) but as a heavy critique of your views on this show and how you are analyzing things. I might sound like I'm yapping to yap or "it's not that deep", but it literally is. The show and it's writing make it a big point and I will refuse to accept any iteration of "you're making a mountain out of a molehill" type statements. If you have any questions or comments you're free to bring them up.

-With confusion and annoyance, Wizard.

-Footnotes- *By group of people, I refer to sapient (human minded) beings who are grouped by either race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, etc. By this classification, Transformers are considered a group of people; even if they are "nonhuman" *If you are somehow seriously confused or appalled by me pointing out real world racism and xenophobia as parallels to what is being done by GHOST, Dr. Meridian, and your average run of the mill civilian, you need to reread absolutely everything. Racism and xenophobia are a huge talking point in the show and I refuse to retract this statement. *Cold Constructed means the transformer was made in a factory, more often than not to be a worker slave for whoever is demanding they be produced. Two characters off the top of my head who are cold constructed is Starscream and Megatron.

[selkiefinalist]

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[radiofreemultiverse]

Wizard Trivia with @WizWorldLive | Grand Trivia 151

Pondering the orb won’t save you from WIZARD TRIVIA!

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[wizardrousactivity]

Wizardrous's Masterlist

They Promised Series

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

König Masterlist (Angst, Fluff, Smut)

Feel Better Now?

Bonus for Feel Better Now?

How spit kink started

Spit kink

Monster!König Drabble

Simon Masterlist (Placeholder)

None, but he is in my They Promised Series

ASKS MASTERLIST >>>

[torronyr]

HELLO TUMBLR I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO TAG THIS AS

it is so late and me and the friend discord have been losing it over these. thes e shortbread tart spinning gifs (we're PRETTY sure that's what they are) from the spinning food archive. they look SO GOOD and whoever made all of these made these gifs all a specific way so they're definitely all by the same person

and they got CREATIVE with some of these and i was hoping to find an image source incase there would be recipes but we reverse searched multiple ways and They're??? Not anywhere else aside from the archive and like maybe a couple re uploads from the gif collection???

i left a review on the archive to see if the uploader knows (Wizardrous) but i don't know if the uploader is active and will see it. are these like. lost media shortbreads??? i am going nuts??? i feel like i'm in too deep to stop looking but in my defense they look so good hold on i'll upload examples

I HAVE A LOT MORE AND THERE'S SOME REALLY COOL ONES BUT I DO NOT WANT TO LAG THE DASH. THEY HAVE A GUMMY WORM ONE. THEY HAVE A CHEESECAKE ONE. do the recipes for these exist?? is this lost media?? if someone could help us out to figure out where these are from we will appreciate you FOREVER okay

THE ARCHIVE WITH ALL OF THEM -> https://archive.org/details/rotatingfood5/giphy%20%2810%29.gif

[sciencestyled]

The Quirky Quarks of Wizardry Physics: How Your Favorite Spell Slingers Are Secret Science Nerds

Let’s dive right into the rabbit hole—no, scratch that—let’s cannonball into the pool of wizardry physics, where the laws of reality get a glitter-bomb makeover and your average classroom turns into a circus of floating elephants and wand-waving weirdos. Welcome to the only lecture where you’ll calculate the velocity of a flying broomstick faster than you can say "Snapchat filter gone rogue."

Now, strap on your seat belts—or should I say, your wizard hats—because we’re about to dissect the physics of magic like it's the latest celebrity scandal. Trust me, even TMZ doesn’t dig this deep.

First off, let’s talk energy. No, not the kind you need after a TikTok all-nighter, but the sort that powers a good old-fashioned Leviosa spell. You see, in the magical manuscripts and mega-movie franchises, lifting a feather is child’s play. But back here in the land of the physics-literate (or those who just really paid attention during science class), we're crunching numbers. Ever wonder how much juice you’d need to levitate a feather? Spoiler: it’s less than lifting a car, but more than your Wi-Fi lifting your spirits on a slow internet day.

Now, zooming on our broomsticks to flying—because who doesn’t want to dodge traffic with aerial finesse? The physics of broomstick aerodynamics is less “elegant flight” and more “controlled falling with style.” To keep our beloved witches and wizards airborne without invoking the name of every aerodynamics professor in a ten-mile radius, we calculate lift, drag, and—let's face it—a hefty dose of magical mumbo-jumbo. It's the kind of math that would make Newton drop his apple and grab a quill.

But let’s not forget the time-turners, those nifty gadgets that laugh in the face of Einstein’s space-time continuum. Time travel in literature makes skipping backwards smoother than a retro vinyl revival. In reality? Let's just say you'd need a power source beefier than the plot armor in a superhero flick. We’re talking about bending time like it's a twisty straw, and the energy required? It's like trying to power your entire house with a single AA battery—good luck with that.

And for the pièce de résistance: the Patronus charm. Oh, the shimmering, animal-shaped guardian that’s all sparkle and no sprinkle. In the wizard world, it’s your spirit animal unleashed with a flick. In our world? We’d be furiously calculating lumens, photon emissions, and the existential crisis of producing a corporeal animal out of sheer willpower and a dash of existential dread.

While we're at it, let's not forget the educational side of this pandemonium. Yes, amidst the chaos, there's a silver lining of science education. Each absurd calculation, each bizarre theory tested against the unyielding wall of scientific principles, serves a noble purpose: to meld minds with the mortar of knowledge and curiosity. It’s a wild ride through the cosmos of "What if?" and "Why not?" where every spell cast is a lesson in disguise, teaching us the limits of our understanding and the boundless potential of asking, "But can I make it explode?"

As we wrap up this madcap exploration, remember that wizardry physics isn't just about turning your brain into a pretzel with paradoxes. It’s about squinting at the line between the impossible and the improbable and deciding to erase it with a neon marker. It’s about understanding that sometimes, the most enlightening discoveries come from asking the silliest questions.

So, the next time you see a movie mage defying gravity or conjuring storms, chuckle at the audacity, then whip out your calculator. Because, who knows? That ridiculous bit of cinema might just inspire the next big scientific breakthrough. Or at the very least, make for some killer class discussions.

In conclusion, if you've ever pondered the energy expenditure of a fireball or the aerodynamics of an enchanted carpet, congratulations—you're doing wizardry physics. You're not just passively absorbing pop culture; you're engaging with it, turning every "Abracadabra!" into a potential "Eureka!" So, keep those wands and calculators ready, folks. Because in this class, the only thing more explosive than the experiments is the potential for mind-blowing enlightenment. And isn't that just magically marvelous?

[thalthanmadanus]

Definitely, most of the hostility comes from other houses and 90% the reason why is because of house points, because the Slytherins used to cheat in matches, and Snape showing heavy favoritism.. That's besides Gryffindor's general principle of just not getting well with Slytherin (according to Harry in the sixth book)

I think though that Slytherins are actually the outcasts of the houses, not just by actions made by the other houses but also by actions Slytherins also make themselves. It's a hateful cycle.

Outcast not as an uwu underdog misunderstood meowmeow house, but just a heavily disliked one. I don’t think we see any kind of good interaction between Slytherins and the other houses (minus the time Draco made badges and Hufflepuff wore them, but honestly I bet 100% that if Harry was Slytherin the hate he would've got in GOF would've been worse)

(Also which house wasn't invited in the DA? but tbf can you blame Harry)

I don't think we see in the books Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff being too competitive or hostile to Gryffindor even after they won many times?? Yet in the first book, we're shown Gryffindors literally making outcasts of Harry and Hermione because they lost points and Slytherin got the lead.

So much for being a righteous house. We also see that Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw went with the hate bandwagon on literal 11 year old CHILDREN because Slytherin was winning.

While I don't think that slytherins were bullied by other houses (I mean who we are kidding, they're the ones doing most of the bullying), the three houses still express so much hostility towards them (I mean we have Fred and George hissing at fresh 11 year old slytherins after being sorted)

We can see individuals from a house, say Hufflepuff (Zacharias Smith) being an ass and so being disliked by students from other houses or for example Ravenclaws being bullies to Luna, Hufflepuff being shit to Harry in gof. We are given many examples of students from the three houses being ass to each other but that doesn't translate to hating the WHOLE house AS A PRINCIPLE like we see with Gryffindor and Slytherin.

The Slytherins also don't help their case because they also choose to stay outcasts, or at least that's how I see it. (In the fourth book, at the end, while the three houses raised their goblets for Dumbledore's speech, the slytherins didn't)

At the end, in the battle if Hogwarts, the three houses were there but not Slytherin (no matter what jkr says in her interviews).

All of the students who were in the Umbitch Snitch group were Slytherins.

At some point you gotta ask can you blame the other houses? but you also think Can you blame Slytherin??

It's a cycle. An unescapable chain reaction.

The teachers of the other houses don't penalise other students like Snape, but we aren't shown them doing anything actively to stop this hostlity between the houses. They're very passive about it. and imo, Inaction itself is an action. The house points system itself is very corrupt and lowkey doesn't make sense and is the main catalyst for the hate. The teachers could at least talk to Snape to stop being an ass because like I said 90% the reason why the houses hate Slytherin is because of house points.

It is so funny,. because to us the readers Slytherins are evil because they're full of bigoted children who grow up to be death eaters. to the Hogwarts population, Slytherins are evil because they cheat in Sports.

GET RID OF THAT HOUSE POINTS SYSTEM AND SEE HALF OF THE PROBLEMS IN WIZARDRING ENGLAND GONE!!!

Feel free to correct me though if you found instances contradicting what I said.

was there actually anti-slytherin behavior by the hogwarts staff in the books? I know Snape definitely showed favoritism towards them, but I can't remember if this was compensation in a way, or if he was being totally unfair. (remembering the house cup fiasco from first year, it makes me wonder)

Hmmm, I'm going to go ahead and say no. I think that there's a general "Slytherins are bad" air permeating the books but teachers and authority figures don't generally penalise them.

The heads of houses are shown favoring their own students so, like, McGonagall is biased towards Gryffindor (allowing 11 y.o. Harry to participate in quidditch is crazy unfair, as is gifting him a broom), but she doesn't actually go out of her way to over-punish Slytherins the way Snape does. I like to think that Snape is somewhat compensating from the favoritism that other heads of houses give their own students but at the end of the day lot of his behaviour is mostly driven by pettiness (also I think being a dick to children is highly entertaining to Snape so I kind of see it as his hobby).

In the books Harry is often in the role of the underdog because of the actions of Slytherins so it makes no sense for the story jkr wants to tell to have the people most often putting Harry down be discriminated against since that would humanise them too much. I think the most you can say about anti-Slytherin sentiment at Hogwarts (as intended by jkr) is that Slytherins don't seem popular with students from other houses but even then I wouldn't go so far as to say they are outcasts, you know?

In the before-Harry times Slytherin was out there winning the house cup and the Quidditch cup left and right and it feels like the houses had a pretty normal amount competition; I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks but to me it feels like it's Harry's (and Draco's) presence at Hogwarts that somewhat exacerbated the whole house rivalry thing and maybe took teacher favoritism to a whole new level as well, idk.

Take care friend, and thank you for your question

xoxo

[luxuryandsports1]

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[thewizardofrhetkhonn]

My god, why does iHeartRadio feel the need to make their podcast ads so fucking banal?? Like, every single ad is like “we talk hard questions and get to the challenging truth and its messy and cool and heartfelt but also not too much” and like, some of these podcasts may be actually good. They could be some of the best podcasts on the fucking planet and I’ll never know because the ads make them sound so goddamn phony and generic that I don’t even want to give it a chance.

[thelocalwizardsblog]

behold my new ingenious invention!

Since the unfortunate loss of my previous wizard tower (thanks to @the-illegal-wizard-council ) I have had to relocate. In doing so I have come up with an invention that could revolutionise wizard housing! I propose to you, reader, the reverse wizard tower!

So we all know wizard towers, towers, that wizards live in. Well the reverse wizard tower is different. Rather than going up high into the sky, it goes deep down into the ground, and is covered by a small homely looking cabin.

I suppose in other words this could be considered a shack on top of a hole in the ground but for now it must do while I continue to work on my new regular wizard tower.

[acci0h0gwarts]

Read this

The Harry Potter community died a bit because everytime when it is 31. July, you sense the underlying energy of bitterness in post where people only congratz Harry Potter, and ignoring the author completly. What does this tells us? How will the New generation of children be? The children will learn from how adults acts. They sense more than you think and they learn from us, but not all things are visible on the surface.

Do you want a bullying community where some people are blocked out just because they said something you didn't liked? We see a bit like this around children on the app tiktok in the comments sections. I want a community where every people is included, no matter what you are if trans or not, or what your opinions are. J.K. Rowling is not transphobic.

Read her essay again and use your brain to think and feel before you are so quick to react and judge. We live in a world with free speech. We need to learn how to handle the opinions of other in a better way, no matter what they say and how disagree we are.

Emotional intelligence seems to be low in todays society. What I learned, most people don’t know how to handle themself and their own emotins and other people when triggered, so the easiest way to handle it is through “cancel culture” which actually is a form of bullying.

Are you bitter? Look inside yourself. Why are you like that?

Remember this quote by Albus dumbledore: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities”.- Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

[theotherbluewizard]

Boomers, doomers, and mindless consumers

The three horsefolk of the apocalypse. These are the three demographics whom due to poor mental health actively work towards complete collapse. Without realizing it they have become agents of the death cult. They must be reached. Mindless consumers: Surely you know a whale or two. Surely you know someone who knowingly fills the void by spending money. Seek them out, give em a big ol’ friendship hug, and teach them ways to heal and meditate. Show them how to spend their time rather than kill it. Show them a world beyond the one pop culture says you’re missing out on. When they have some power to help themselves, teach them of the evil of capitalism. Let them follow you, they chose this path because they were alone in a hostile world. Be kind to them, and give them space to heal, and a new direction to go. Doomers: Surely you know people who will tell you nothing can be done. They are in terrible pain. Just as one who is beaten repeatedly goes numb, so too have they gone numb to empathy for the horror of the world. This is a show that their capacity for empathy is strong, not weak. They have looked into the abyss and now they carry it with them. These people would rarely exist in a more educated society, and there is a reason we do not teach what they need to know: to create them. They must be taken gently into the arms of philosophy and shown piece by piece the logic of love, the rationale of the community, the ethics of the people, and the path out of Plato’s cave. Help them, they are in desperate pain. Boomers: Holy shit what the fuck. These leadbrained sociopaths have been taught from day one to treat all others as hostile or obstacle or food and after decades of backing this disgusting culture each and every one of them not already wholesale railing against boomer culture is so clouded with delusion the inside of their minds look like fucking Silent Hill, and karmically their irresponsibility over the world they believed themselves to be stewards of has resulted in the bulk of them being crippled mentally by lead as well which exacerbates all of the difficulty of aging minds. I don’t know what the fuck you do about these walking trainwrecks, push them over? Really it isn’t every single Boomer or anything, it’s about cultural indoctrination, but like on the whole these people were given the world and they put a hole in the sky and lit the ocean on fire multiple times. They are so fucking incompetent it’s fucking terrifying. Your enemy is not individual people, it is self-destructive philosophy.

[azkabansescapee]

[cryptotheism]

Would you ever try to do a collab on resurrecting some ancient alchemy recipes with someone like NileRed?

Lab boss CT narrating the esoterically encrypted instructions to a lab tech in a theatrically wizardric lab would be pretty fun.

That could be pretty fun! Id have to work on my classical Greek lmao.

[flagellant]

wizards are always in pvp, usually against other wizards, but i've never seen a wozard win vs a druid. why?

Wizards think everything has to be big and showy and dramatic. They can't cast a spell that isn't wizardrous. But they're so wizard that they have to sacrifice effect for making sure people know they're a wizard casting a spell.

Druids don't do that. We just want to get back to listening to the bees or getting stoned in the ocean. We have time for this, but we don't wanna spend it on some weird stupid "magic duel".

So a wizard tries to cast something like Mage Armor or Fireball or Lightning Blast.

And a Druid will cast Transmute Teeth Into Poison Dart Frogs.

Anyway. Back to the bees.

[evilwizardsgaming]

💀 Game Review: Enter The Gungeon 🔫

The gungeon is a place I know as well as my childhood tower, so it brings me a wicked and devious pleasure to express my adoration for its hideous nature. Every run holds potential to see you open a blackhole with slick violet tentacles erupting from its void in pursuit of destroying a lich made of bullet casings who you've frozen in time with a silver bell you stole with a grappling hook you bought with the blood of bulletkin you massacred, and if that isn't beautiful, I simply do not know what is.

Scheming: 4/6

Seeing as Enter the Gungeon is a rogue-lite, it's seems only fitting that the primary form of improvement over time is skill rather than strategy. However, the dastardly folks over at Dodge Roll succeeded in creating a player experience that rewards attentiveness. Room layouts and enemy types persist, and your knowledge and memory of their machinations pay dividends as the hours tick by. The strategic value mentioned here does not outweigh the inherent function of a rogue-lite in creating an unplannable experience for each run, but scheming most certainly can be performed.

Villainous Vibe: 6/6

Hardly ever does one stumble upon such a wretched hellscape as the one depicted in the depths of the gungeon. Hell itself opens its wicked maw and grips your tightly, gnashing and tearing as you descend. Warped and malformed bulletkin, demons and devils, Death itself, liches, states of limbo, and wicked underbellies to every commonplace. The Resourceful Rat rebukes and ruins runs frenetically and franticly, and fat flushed specters of sweet release wreak havoc. It's treacherous, outright and all throughout. Heinous, truly.

Enchanting: 6/6

Need I admit the depths to which I have sunk? The days I've crawled belly down in the muck of the gungeon? The queries and inquests of cooperative play sent to undesiring peers? The PLATINUM trophy that sits on the digital shelf of my Play Station Four?? I've been engrossed and enchanted to be certain.

Evil Mechanics: 5/6

Quite simply, this diabolically devised engine of dubious deeds runs smooth like silk. The only true reason for the deduction is that the barrier for entry is a challenge to counter. It takes trial and tribulation and placing one's nose the grindstone to begin to enjoy the gungeon; the thrill and the experience can only transpire once one has failed enough times to understand. Once you've reached the mountaintop, however...my dark lord...the limits of your mobility are only limited by one's luck and the velocity of one's neurons. The cooperative play works delightfully well, too, as it does not punish new players with a permanent defeat. Enter the Gungeon provides a sort of miniature game to play whilst in purgatory! Though some new players would likely prefer to play Enter the Gungeon rather than that miniature game but find the barrier for entry to be too high, so they are stuck in perpetual purgatory.

Baneful Actions: 1/6

With the exception of a few baneful bits (I enjoyed each round of kicking his silly helmet into the deep!), moral choice is not at the crux of this hell-on-wheels type of game. Endings are scripted delightfully, but they are pre-constructed without potential for villainous interceding. The occasional bits did give me a proper sneer, however.

Love: 2/6

As the Evil Wizard Moderator Varikul pointed out to me, Enter the Gungeon may not contain themes or activities involving love, but it is INFUSED with the vital ingredient of love. It is clear that Dodge Roll cared a great deal about this gungeon when they were putting it together, and that doesn't count for nothing. It only counts for 2/6, but that's not nothing!

Conclusions

All in all and all things wicked and wondrous, Enter the Gungeon receives nearly top marks for its genre, but its genre limits its potential for wrongdoing and wizardrous villainy. The primary antagonist is a lich for crying out loud! My mother was a lich!

Enchanting, evil, and devilry laden? Most certainly.

Actionably baneful, plotting, and abundant with love? Not quite.

🖤Mod Kolpesh