#woe. fixation upon me

[dailykugisaki]

Day 274 | id in alt

I like to think Gojo has the strongest mentality so far up his ass it pisses Kugisaki off because, DUDE. SHE FUCKING GETS IT. BE QUIET. He's emo but a different color.

[solar-nightengale]

@lizardthelizard Woopsie seems I dropped this here ahah my bad 😇😇💖💖

[ratcandy]

real live clam reaction to ratau letter . for those unaware sometimes i record when i play games jus to check back and see if i missed something.and of course when i played today i saw ratau's letter for the first time so. the agonies

[thespiderwhisperer]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL BAT APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!!!

ive kinda been lagging behind on posting, like, actual content/art but yall get the extra-special grim art for today now lol

woe, color wheel challenge masters be upon ye!!

i started this back in september, soon after i started playing FL, and worked on it for a few months till i ended up submitting it as a school assignment to give me the motivation to finish it dhxbh

since theres. a lot going on here ill give yall a handy dandy little list of who's who lmao:

red: mr hearts/apples- common vampire bat. holding the cleaver.

mr c_____s [SMEN Spoilers]- little golden mantled flying fox. holding the candles.

orange: mr fires- painted bat. angy dieselpunk-y guy.

mr cups- canyon bat (has since been changed to ghost-faced bat). came in 15 mins late with neathbucks coffee.

yellow: mr pages- hoary bat. currently writing a new dictionary on the scroll.

mr spices- mexican long-tongued bat. blep.

green: mr veils- spectral bat. angy grinch beast.

light blue: mr mirrors- ghost bat. staring into your soul.

mr iron- hammerhead/hanner-headed bat. wearing diamond armor for +10 defense.

dark blue: mr stones- cave nectar bat/dawn bat. is way too close to these plebians.

mr eaten- barbastelle bat. dead both inside AND outside!!

purple: surprise oc cameo!! mr vials, aka the master that asher turns into after his ambition- ozark big-eared bat. can hear you falsifying compendiums of statistical observations.

mr chimes- no specific bat species because. well. if you know you know i guess. carrying its lantern from the grand clearing-out!!

pink: mr wines- giant golden-crowned flying fox. spilling its drink and also blep-ing.

mr t_______t [Railway Spoilers]: no specific bat species; they're just baby, your honor. also blep, runs in the family i guess

-

i think thats it theres probably something ive forgotten about xd. this silly little browser game officially gave me a special interest in bats so im. throwing my autism at yall now via art form ig lmao. nowadays im more fixated on my human blorbos but the master obsession is still. simmering. in the background. awaiting a reckoning that will not be postponed indefinitely or smthn idk

[hntnsshi]

Voice

Azul Ashengrotto had always have a peculiar fixation with your voice.

You weren't the one to talk much to begin with in public's eye. You answered with either physical gestures, hums, or grunts most of the time. You did talk at times when needed, but you preferred to shut your mouth if you are not familiar with who you were talking to from what Azul observed. It took you some time to be able to adjust working with the Octavinelle dormitory's students at Mostro Lounge because it was 'awkward' for you to communicate openly.

"It's tiring," you complained one day when Floyd nagged why you didn't really talk much if you weren't using yout phone, "I talk only if I have to, but shouldn't you feel grateful that I actually talk a lot with you guys? I love you afterall~" your laugh afterwards was supposed to be irritating, but Azul couldn't do anything but to get flustered merely out of your teasing (even if he knew that was probably only a joke).

Azul has a pretty light pitched voice. Everyone had praised him for his smooth way of talking. Afterall, he had worked hard to appear as a flawless figure in front of people. His expectation could be labeled as high, so he felt no remorse when he confiscated the Ramshackle dorm while stating that you, the magicless prefect, didn't have any royalty blood nor a melodious voice like how the young mermaid princess had to bargain with for a contract. The Octavinelle head dorm didn't feel any guilt whatsoever at that time. It wasn't his fault, you didn't talk much anyway, so he has no expectation towards the strange newcomer.

(Or in short, he was glad that there was an additional inferior mob character that he could crush under his power once again)

But the great seven really wouldn't going to let that slip by, would they? Azul couldn't remember when he started zoning out on his tasks just to focus his hearing senses on your low murmur when you were doing your assignments. He was left breathless when you lowly chuckled, or when you actually could laugh freely around him. And what the lilac young man loved the most, was when you called his name without any formalities each time the both of you were doing Mostro Lounge's paper works in his VIP room.

You couldn't sing, you stumbled upon your sentences a lot, and your intonation was mostly monotonous. But Azul wondered why his heart pounded each time you whispered in a husky way, presence lingering right beside him while your bodies pressed with each other just so you could reveal the true intents of his customers based from your observations.

Jade once sneered at him, enjoying how desperate he was just because you didn't come to the lounge for three days due to a team project with the two Heartslabyul first years.

"How does it feel to be hopeless once again, Azul?" The eel merman taunted, earning sharp glare from his childhood friend, "-oh? What's with the look? I was asking out of curiousity. No need to be that hostile." The sharp grin he sent was unnerving, but Azul was already used to the teal haired student's antics.

His obsession was getting to the point where desperately, Azul decided that making a deal with Idia for the sake of fulfilling his dreams of getting pampered by your voice would be beneficial for his mental health in the long run— which sounded extremely creepy and illogical if the old Azul were to know his intentions. The woes of a lovesick man.

"... You want me to do WHAT exactly?"

"You heard me loud and clear, Idia," Azul's gloved hand was raised to fix his glasses' position, he gazed right to the flame haired senior that was setting up a board game on the table in front of them (he also saw dices, but he would complain about that later after they had started the game), "I would like to ask for your service. Are you worried because I might not give an exchange you desire in return?"

Idia Shroud nervously bit his lip, "n-no, that wasn't what bothers me the most! I don't care much about payments!" He then pointed questioningly at the lilac haired male, "I was asking why would you ask me to make a synthetic voicebank of the prefect! That- isn't that considered as creepy if you don't have their consent?!"

The bespectacled student frowned, "rude," he remarked shortly, "you do not ask questions about your client's personal reasons."

"Yeah, but making a synthetic voicebank out of someone else's voice and not yourself..." Idia gulped, what's wrong with this guy's head? Why would he need someone else's voicebank for? "What are you going to do, Azul? Making the prefect say 'good morning honey' or 'I love you so much, senpai~' so you can hear it without having to meet them directly?".

The Ignihyde head dorm's question wasn't actually serious. He had only seen something like this in his otome games- especially the psychotic obsession ones. Idia didn't think his junior would admit or agree with his statement- it might be for business stuffs? He didn't want to pry further. He didn't know and he didn't want to know.

But the visible red dust on Azul's pale cheeks was enough to proof his blatant questions was pretty much spot on.

Idia paled. Oh for the great seven's sake, this was getting more awkward than it should had been.

[generichoneydew]

hello tumblr user generichoneydew :3

My girlfriend sent me your ant video and I really liked it but was also instantly fladhbanged by how much persona music I recognized

And then when I read your description and you said Persona 3 was your favorite game it made me soso happy cause persona 3 is MY favorite game too !!!!!!

Anyway all this is to say thank u for making my day and bringing just a small bit of more stimulation to my persona autism :333

(ps. if u aren't too busy may I humbly request a doodle of FeMC persona 3. she is my favorite character of all time ever and she makes me so happy)

Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you liked the video ^^!! fueling hyper fixations might as well be my full time job with how much ADD swag I share. Woe... slamming fist into the wall be upon yee...

Here's a doodle I did awhile back because the idea made me cackle. Ik its not entirely FeMC but shhh she's in there.

[aachria]

Hi, another fan of SSSBMTY here! First of all, I just wanted to say how much I've been loving the fic so far. I haven't really had any time to get into long fics recently but yours was really amazing and I just wanted to let you know that.

I was curious if you would do a slight redesign with the boa sisters for the upcoming chapter like how you did with sabo (I refuse to believe that ace and luffy's brother isn't just extremely white passing like hrithik Roshan lol)

I also wanted to ask if you would be ok with me writing a SSSBMTY spinoff with my own oc (yes I did see the previous ask but I just wanted to double check). I was thinking of starting it at Amazon Lily bc idk if I could write 133 chapters until my oc meets Ed

Once again, I can't wait for another update

Aw thank you darlin, that means a lot :)

I mean honestly, I tend not to poke much with the canon designs of characters unless I got the little gremlin fixation in me (Woe Piercings Be Upon Ye beam notwithstanding). I DO think that given them living on a little island where there's no wind or CLOUDS where they wear, ahem, not a lot of very covering clothing means they should ABSOLUTELY be tanned as FUCK, but I like the Boa sisters canon appearances. They're a little weird and freaky and odd and I dig it. Boa is a whole other can of worms I am afraid to poke. (You're so real for that Sabo thing. You're so real for that.)

I adore y'all writing SSSBMTY spinoffs, at this rate there's gonna be a fucking FLEET of stuff in the inspired by section of the work lmaoooo. Go right ahead pooks!!!

[the-blossica-fan]

Woe, more Personality Swap upon thee ^-^

An-An Lee and Yenisei

Mercuria and Ms. NewBabel

Eternity and Kanjira

Charlie and Blonney

You guys give me lists of characters as if I'm going grocery shopping/aff

An-An Lee with Yenisei's personality is such a calm and peaceful woman with the most savage comments if you bother her.

The hyperactive An-An Lee would return your comments with pettiness, but this An-An Lee would say some things that damn...

"Your job is not even a real job! Ghost hunting? Really?"

"I still win your year salary in a week"

It's more common to hear her speak in Cantonese, as well as her writing. She's still a little bit concerning sometimes, when she doesn't act up when she sees ghosts but instead efficiently and calmly.

"Good work today, now I must rest for a moment"

Yenisei with An-An Lee's personality does NOT fit her face.

A bright, hyperactive Yenisei with a big smile? Whose nightmare is that?

It's easier to find Yenisei swimming or just chilling above water during this period of time. She's just enjoying time in a very exciting way, catching fish with the help of Vila.

Yup, she burns her energy by running around, doing whatever activity that she finds amusing or water-related. It burns her adrenaline and also keeps her busy, so, why not?

She's far more affectionate, since she wouldn't really hug anyone before, unless protecting Bessmert and hand holding with Jiu counts, she rarely touches people. Which is why seeing her with an arm wrapped around Spathodea and a bright smile is so weird.

She's more active at night, a difference from her usual self, more active in the morning.

"Good evening Vertin! Are you ready to go swimming today?! Mm? Oh, don't worry, it's just a little fun!"

Mercuria and Ms. Newbabel is such a crazy concept ngl. You wanna put my baby with this absolutely gorgeous woman's personality?

You got it.

Mercuria's eyes, usually just wandering around, suddenly fixated upon money and prices? Such a crazy concept ain't that right?

Mercuria doesn't really care much for prices or business and such, but if she has such sharp eyesight for the future and divination, she can certainly make a business out of it, can't she?

And well, prices are not cheap...

"If you wish to know about your future, you can come to me. You can always rely on my business."

Thank God she had no fixation for critters because she's making a lot of money from reading people's futures. At least she's making money out of her passion.

Ms. Newbabel with Mercuria's personality, freedom for the critter slaves.

She has such an amazing friendship with the critters and walks around freely through the woods of the wilderness with her two critter companions.

Since she doesn't do divination, she's just walking around with a bunch of critters after her with the most peaceful, totally-doesn't-smoke-weed vibe.

Eternity and Kanjira, the successful business woman and the shameless thief.

Eternity with Kanjira's personality would certainly be a deal. She's a dignified lady, a woman of money who holds herself higher than the rest due to this. To her, money is easy, and business is even more important than companionship.

So, when you see this dignified lady pickpocketing with a mischievous smile, you know right away that she's not herself.

Eternity is mischievous, a trickster by birth, but unfortunately, she's also naive and driven by her own emotions. Not like she shows it or anything, but it's not that hard to confuse her if you know what you're looking for.

Surprisingly, she keeps herself spotless just so she can offer beautiful rocks or distract people before stealing their wallet or any priced possession.

"No, don't look at me. This wallet is just... A similar design to yours. ID? It doesn't have one!"

Kanjira with Eternity's personality would almost be herself but if she had been taught business.

She's a thief, but with Eternity's successful, prideful and tricky personality, she's amazing at business.

Coming from below and using such a thing to trick people for money, such as beautiful things made by herself or things she had stolen before, she's able to buy a significant amount of money.

And commit tax fraud.

Indeed, she's a smart young lady who uses her poor, haggard looks to steal, but in prices. Different to stealing wallets, she'll make you feel robbed by selling you a flower crown for the shocking amount of 55 Sharpodontry.

Oh, but you wouldn't complain to an orphan, would you? With such a haggard look and background, wouldn't you offer those 50 Sharpodontry?

An evil, greedy trickster.

Charlie and Blonney is pretty interesting, considering what you guys have told me to do (I'm building her bond atm), Charlie is a very interesting and sad character. So...

Blonney with Charlie's personality is a mess, something she could have been if only she had been allowed to have her old, human forced personality. Rationality and all.

A shy lady who uses her jacked to cover herself as much as possible to not catch anyone's eyes. You have seen her posters of horror movies? N-no, those are not hers!

Shy, reclusive and antisocial. She wouldn't speak much, nor would she appreciate visits unannounced. She prefers just, staying inside.

When it comes to battle, she's more herself. Smashing the enemies, using her arcane skill to launch monsters at them and destroy them.

Her confidence in battle is frightening. She uses such tactics to scare, creep and to frighten the enemy by using her horror movie addiction and creativity. She's aggressive, putting on a show as she destroys every single enemy.

That laugh she has in one of her lines? She's laughing like that all the way with a scary look in her eyes.

"H-huh? Uhm, these posters? No- no, Nono those aren't mine! These are from, uh, Horropedia!"

Charlie with Blonney's personality? A harsh change.

She would attempt to act naturally, if you know what I mean. Less of a shy or confident circus director and more of a... I suppose an idgaf-er. Which she isn't.

She's pretending to not care, her business are certainly not anyone else's, but it's hard to let go of that shell.

This Charlie is determined, at least. She's confident in her plays and her actions, but with Blonney's doubts and her self-esteem, mixed with Charlie's own doubts, she's just putting on a confident mask.

"Would you lock the door? I'm in the middle of a play. ... No, I don't, I don't care, if you don't have something important to say, leave."

[astrxlfinale]

There is a strange, almost investigative glint in Yukong's indigo hues as she looks down at Caelus with her arms loosely crossed over her chest, as though the man before her was still a mysterious enigma waiting to be studied. She is – and forever will be – grateful for the Trailblazer extending his hand of friendship and camaraderie towards her in spite of the rocky start upon their first meeting all those months ago, but even Yukong has moments where she has questions regarding a few of the man's more... unconventional (if not a little inappropriate) interests.

"Caelus?" The Helm Master's tone is the exact same one she had used back when she had caught a sneaky 6 year old Qingni attempting to swipe more egg tarts from the kitchen in the middle of the night. Maternal, non-threatening, and steady, yet nonetheless containing a hint of disapproval. "Could you tell me what makes you so enamored and fascinated with...peaches?" No, she is not referring to the fruit.

Why does he get the distinct feeling he's being watched? Not the usual 'I'm going to slay the Stellaron soul' sort of eye honing, rather it was one specialized within the Xianzhou itself. For his heroism didn't offset his more wayward and adventurous qualities at all. It was a sense of appeal, a sense of bizarre, and truthfully he's all cases of inner peace on the matter. ..In most cases. The warmth of these very eyes he's come to learn in time, that mature note and tone prompting a shiver down his spine.

Unfamiliar, but welcomed all the same. It was a stalwart soul who was comfortably setting her 'claws' upon the wild. "Madam Yukong." He'd intone similarly, allowing the technological tools to drop from his hand. She was another who gained express permission to visit his quarters if the mood struck her, a more casually fun lesson of less political finesse and the old-fashioned fun of hangouts.

"Gotta say, quite the rare guest--" Pivoting upon his seat to face her, to get an ample view of that posture, a more gentle but still certain authority as what follows feels like some wayward dream he had once upon a time. No beating around the bush, no platitudes, it was merely an outright question for what made be one of the most important qualities in his Trailblazing journey.

How in the three fucks could this man not be stunned?

Mouth briefly agape, the clear perspective of this broad question in their vested privacy struck a bolt through his heart. Energizing compared to piercing, elevating the way his next breath was moreso a gulp of air than anything else. "No remote hesitation, striking at the source compared to elsewhere. Courage like that I need to repay in kind." Propping up from his seat, the ashen haired Trailblazer stands collarbone to face with her, a minute adjustment soon letting those foxian eyes peer into his very soul on this matter.

Peaches. The ultimate grounds of foundation itself, despite his steadfast confidence, it'd be the particular choice in company that makes a stubborn shade of pink bloom upon his face. Come hell or high water no hesitation on this matter.

A step forward would be his declaration of war.

"You ever had something that moves your very soul? A view, a certain brand of something, we can start it right there. Inspiration takes flight with the most formidable wings when that very view comes into the equation." One could only wonder, where was any modicum of shame when it comes to Caelus's fixations? It certainly wasn't held in these grounds as he stands shoulder to shoulder with Yukong.

A single arm draws forth, as if painting the unseen picture of what beautiful behind's presence can enact on the soul.

"There's intimacy, there's trust, a shape that can create worldly wars and a comforting softness or firmness that can eliminate all woes and malady to the soul. Ms.Yukong, there's power at that very foundation. Why else do you think countless examples of inspiration create models like lingerie for instance?" Oh he dares, Caelus was a bold soul who openly challenges position, canting his head to let those golden irises pierce directly against her own.

Another breath is drawn, let the ironclad determination become the shield against her gaze! Tension evaporates from his body as he resumes.

"While I certainly can't jump upon the divide of your personal life. Let it be said, there's no doubt in my mind that not just the teasing aspect, but even casual intimacy can stoke the very fires of the soul." What beloved partner of someone could ever be ignorant to the power of sitting upon their chosen's lap? How frisky forays were easily sparked from minute movements, a touch of laughter, until intent enriches the very scene into something more spice induced?

A low hum eases from him as he pivots once more, turning to face the Helm Master fully.

"I could go on for years, doesn't this bring some enlightenment to my angle about it?" Naturally there's no ill will that's held, for learning is a great power all of mankind holds. And if someone approaches with the intent of learning about this passion of his? Caelus never amused any ideas of 'holding back' to begin with.

Front and center, raw and ready, any challenge will be taken on.

@acr3ss-the-cosmos

[phroge-chairr]

art dump bc i unconveniently hit art block in the middle of art fight month and need motivation to draw my friends' OCs NOW!!!!!

newest to oldest, mid-june to like july 8th

ty to @firstweeklastweek for yelling at me to get this out of my drafts :3

no reposting my art!

woe w2h fixation be upon ye

[zydraholic]

I have bad news for you all. My bestie made me watch the soccer anime and while I’m not fixated I am invested in it to an unfortunate degree. Woe, blue lock be upon us

[redd956]

PTSD In Mondie

Content: Unreality, My Worldbuilding: SOA, PTSD, Fiction

CW: Wartime, PTSD, Alcohol, Homelessness, Drugs, Flashback Attack

Very few times around the Arethian Realms does PTSD look different. In the war veteran hotspot of Castellite, the grandiose and militaristic nation, Mondie, that's a different story.

It was in my face as soon as I exited the transport hub. A middle aged catfolk wobbled down the street before drunkenly colliding into a public trash can, his mostly empty bottle bursting into shards against the unkempt sidewalk. No body batted an eye.

Block after block it was the same, the unhoused gathered around clusters of tents, young men missing their legs walked with crutches, scarred face bakers, and women with reconstructed faces.

Contrast to the traumatized people were the bright red and purple banners draped aside skyscrapers. Species and Mondieans of all kinds marched around in uniform jackets and service caps, their fancy military grade weaponry slung across their backs. Don't get me started about the tanks.

On a rainy morning of seanika's season, I found myself in need of some proper sword repairs. Carrying my great sword through the Mondiean mud proved a challenge. Before entering the shop, I accidentally slashed by hand open, and entered some poor superhuman's shop dripping blood onto his floor.

He laughed that off, readjusting his hat over the common black hair I swear was everyone's in Mondie. Underneath his Castellian eyes were a thick face altering scar that had slashed and broken his face from eye socket to lip corner. The affected eyelid no longer opened, but his smile continued to shine brighter than most I recall seeing back home.

Even his Central Mondiean had an accent as he accepted my sword. Without thinking I clasped my palms together and let my red healing magic flow. A glowing red absorbed my hands. The stinging mud slathered cut lost all feeling, but I barely got a chance to breathe in the relief.

The swordsmith knocked over, throwing himself on the floor. He begun to frantically kick his legs, scooting backwards into wood panel walls. Cries erupted out of him as he raised his hands to protect himself, speaking far too fast for me to get a grasp of what was wrong. No matter what I did or said next the man didn't come to. He simply cowered there, on the floor behind his desk, his hands shivering, his eyes...

I don't even know how I to describe eyes like that. They weren't looking in that shop that day, and they definitely weren't fixated upon me.

His wife came stumbling out of the backroom. She skidded to a halt before him, speaking in calm short intervals. Her movements matched that speed, her hands especially, extending slowly before them.

I waited outside the shop. Sitting there and watching them two, it was watering my eyes. His wife came and greeted me. We both stood there for a few minutes watching the rain come down as if it was trying to kill Mondie.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"No- No it's- it's okay."

"He hasn't been back very long." Her voice had an achy shake, and I could feel the twinging pain lining against her throat as she spoke.

She handed back my sword, but I needed to know, "What happened?"

"Your magic- He mistook it as something else. He's been jumpy about chromatic magic lately."

There was nothing else to say as she disappeared back inside. I wish I could say this was my last similar experience in Mondie, but it wasn't. A fellow traveler told me the people drink, smoke, snort, and eat their woes away here. The bakeries are nice, and the downtowns are pristine and wealthy, but the people, the ordinary people, this is what they were left to.

They slaved away in Mondie's wars, then suffered within Mondie's borders. I asked a Mondiean about it once, to see what someone living here had to say.

"You should see the Ronscovians."

That was their enemy in most the recent wars. I shuddered, and never asked another soul. Once I arrive in Ronscovia, I'm not saying a word.

[yaminerua]

it's absolutely Wild to me how I haven't been able to write a single solitary thing for literally years and all of a sudden my red dwarf fixation has blasted me into action writing a bunch of wips I'll hopefully get round to doing something with, and pumping out several little things consistently over the last few days

it's like an eruption;;;; like I don't think I've really managed to write much of anything since like 2016 and then it's like. woe, motivation be upon ye.

I don't know how long it'll hold out for but I'm glad for the burst;;; it feels so good to be doing it again;; even if I feel super rusty and a little self-conscious sharing my stuff after so long not doing that;;

[equescaeli]

@crownedveil asked: “ you needn’t wear a mask around me, your highness. “ lunafreya regarded the lone sylleblossom in her hand with half lidded, resigned blue hues. her voice rang mournfully, as though longing for a future that was no longer within her grasp. “ in the absence of my sister, i am to take her place as the first pawn, “ stella’s disappearance was a wound that dug deep, one that wouldn’t be healed, “ i am as displeased by this announcement as you, however, i fear neither of us are in a position to refute his radiance’s command. “ her head bowed, gaze still fixated on the blue petals. “ as a daughter of sanbreque, i will bear this without complaint as it was my fate from the start. i only wish that you had the chance to escape duty’s prison, and live freely. “

The discomfort that resided heavily within the Prince's body language is not a fault of his dear company; his eyes fixated 'pon the white stone tiling of the balcony, the idle crossing of his booted feet only partially obstructed part of his view. Restlessness and a strong sense of mourning tightly gripping his heart forcing it to sink down into the already churning depths of his stomach.

Lunafreya's words were, as always, perfectly correct; one did not easily disobey the commands of the Emperor, not even his own son and yet the contemplation of doing so nested within his consciousness nonetheless. Why now-? He wonders; why now does his father believe an arranged marriage would do their fine empire well? A stronger standing, perhaps? A greater bond with a powerful family? Or was it simpler? A grand excuse for celebration? The very idea made Dion's tongue taste bitterness for all he had seen of late was war and vulgarity - celebrating aught at all was nigh an insult.

Dion had always known that the possibility of a political marriage, of sorts, would meet him someday; he'd known that long before he had awakened as Bahamut's chosen for those of the nobility oft partook in such arrangements. But now it felt naught short of wrong, and as his eyes lift from the ground and glance upon his friend and company does he feel guilt and upset swell in his throat.

She didn't deserve this life sentence.

"Luna--"His voice is naught more than a whisper, one riddled with regret and hurt - hand reaching toward her from where he is sat in the hopes of offering what comfort he can. "--you're allowed to be angry; you're allowed to detest this." Mayhap, like his, her heart already belonged to another- and thus the woe and discomfort grew all the worse for it.

"My duty is my life- and my dedication to the people of Sanbreque cannot waver, regardless of what I may be faced with. Freedom is... but only a dream." And he could only wish that there would be some freedom in it for Lunafreya, somehow. Mayhap Dion's frequency 'pon the battlefield would allow her space, his time at home few and far between at best.

And yet, even that felt wrong; to simply leave her in the capitol. It seemed, even now, with the news of his to-be engagement fresh within his ears that the path ahead would be fraught with difficulties and hardships, emotional pain and regret.

"I only hope I can make this as easy as possible for you. I would never wish our friendship to turn to hatred."

[tulipathy]

Masterlist

[last update: May 24, 2025]

All of these titles link out to ao3, where my works are locked to the archive. I usually write player characters using only the last name, any exceptions will be noted.

ongoing (both Solavellan):

only her hand may anoint her brow, E. Lavellan before and during Veilguard. Why was she willing to "give it all up"? updated March 29 2025 soun melinen, soun suinathen, E. In the time between lethallan and vhenan, Lavellan is much distracted by dreams. ("powerful names, powerful silences") updated May 26 2025

done:

FenHawke (f!Hawke)

i pay my dearest costs by silk of silver, or milkweed, or dandelion kites, M. Hawke through the Fenris romance, appropriately constantly somewhat fixated on his hair.

Solavellan (listing them in approximate chronological order, but some of this is loose)

Studious, T. "I sat beside you while you slept, studying the anchor." Riiiight, Solas, studying the anchor... wolf poesy, G. Early in "he wants her so bad it makes him look stupid" territory. green upon the white, T. A scene of Solavellan in the spring. come to me (tenderly), T. The first kiss, as experienced by Lavellan. just desserts, T. Solas goes to Lavellan on the balcony at the end of Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts (snacc brings a snack, the fic). melana, T. Lavellan is well spooned by a snoozing Solas. In a cave. ("time") woe is the song of the sparrow, the cry of the doe, T. Lavellan immediately after Solas leaves Crestwood. Tel'banal, M (for theme, not spice). Their first moments after Veilguard.

TaashRook (these feature my Rook, Ytredine Laidir, with a nonbinary Taash)

glory, gold, a few tales told, M. Taash and Ytredine scenes for the 2025 Rookships Flash event. Treasure, E. Lords of Fortune like shiny straps things.

Exchange fics!

worth it, E. m!Hawke/f!Lavellan for Smutquisition 2025. most fair, E. Abelas/Merrill for Smutquisition 2025.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Light Lost, Light Gained

Keldoran has been more burdened as of late, and his lovers, Gale and Astarion, try to find out why. Keldoran then exposes a truth of himself that he's not told anyone before.

------------------------------

Before the campfire, Keldoran situated himself, the Aasimar’s gaze fixated, unwavering, upon the flame, yet still it seemed… distant. Keldoran did not speak. Did not smile.

Perhaps that was most unsettling for the party which collectively shared uneasy glances between one another, a wordless notion of their beaming light clearly being shrouded in darkness, and none knew quite why.

As Keldoran pondered his thoughts, the silence was broken by a yelping Astarion, and associated sounds of him being dragged along.

Gale pulled the Elf forward, ignoring his flailing and writhing and claws reaching to scratch him, heading for the campfire wherein he dropped Astarion down beside Keldoran, and made way for the opposite side. He seated himself beside this giant Aasimar as Astarion scoffed, brushing off the dirt before he, too, situated and promptly sneered at Gale.

But the wizard rolled his eyes. “Get over it, Astarion. Keldoran needs us both right now.”

Keldoran furrowed a brow. “...What are you both doing?”

“Look,” began Gale, facing him fully. “You have always been upfront with both of us. Everyone here. And I know you have the patience to wait for us to come to you, so here we are.”

“Against our will for some of us…” the Elf remarked.

“Shut up!” The wizard sighed. “Clearly, something is on your mind, dear, and I don’t know what that is. As I’ve asked that you don’t read my mind, I shall not read yours, either, but I do need to know what is troubling you or else… I cannot return the favor of kindness that you’ve given me.”

There, Keldoran’s light almost dimmed entirely, his eyes widening in horror as he turned from Gale and returned view to the dark night ahead, silent, wavering expression changing and cycling through a thousand-yard stare. The Aasimar shook his head. “I cannot lie. It’s against my oath. But… I cannot burden either of you with the truth.”

Immediately, Astarion perked up, and shifted closer. “Keldoran, you listened to me when I told you my secret. You’ve… listened to everybody. What could be so dark about you that I of all people could not take it?”

“It’s… no. Please, Astarion, my love. And Gale, my dear. Don’t… don’t do this…” He winced, tensing greatly.

Gale gently reached for one of Keldoran’s hands, and placed his own atop it, interlocking each finger with the Aasimar’s. “I’m certain, my love, that whatever you have to say, it cannot be as terrifying as holding a shard of the weave inside your heart, and living as a ticking time bomb. Even if you don’t tell us now, know that you can speak your mind whenever.” He squeezed Keldoran’s hand softly. “You hear us out all the time. But even the man of confessions must, someday, confess to others his own woes.”

Keldoran shook his head again, gritting every tooth as tears began to fill his eyes. “Neither of you… neither one, would love me anymore if I told you…”

Astarion reached forward, and followed Gale, grabbing Keldoran’s other hand from beneath, gently he raised it, and placed a kiss upon the top. “I never thought I’d say this, but… I would not stop loving you no matter what you say. A man as enticing as you? I couldn’t afford to stop loving.”

“That’s… that’s just the thing…” Keldoran said, looking at neither lover. “I am a man, but…” He sighed. “Where I’m from, I grew up in a temple. A holy ground, with a people devoted to the goddess, Sune. The lady of beauty.”

“Well that explains a lot,” Astarion remarked.

Keldoran nodded. “There was a girl, her name Annabelle. She lived within that temple, praised for her feminine beauty upon the day of her birth. The Aasimar crowded her in love, and adorned her with the most perfect garments and accessories, fit for a beautiful angel girl. Everything about Annabelle was gorgeous. A complete embodiment of Sune and all she stood for. Some thought…” Keldoran’s voice became quiet now. “Some thought Annabelle might have been Sune, even… But Annabelle… did not feel this way.”

Gale and Astarion both looked upon their man with puzzled faces now, listening without interruption.

Keldoran drew a deep breath. “Annabelle did not enjoy lying. She struggled, taught by the temple to be devoted always, and to hold her oath as such. Lies were bad, she was good, her beauty was good, and she seemed loved by all but her own self. Something was wrong. And Annabelle couldn’t understand what was true anymore. She did not… she didn’t know if she was lying, or if the temple was a lie...

“Sune’s temple, it gave her light. Purpose. The goddess had blessed Annabelle with such femininity, but Annabelle hated it. And she began to wonder…” Keldoran’s face became soaked with tears now. “She wondered if she was a living lie…”

Gale and Astarion’s shoulders dropped, the two men speechless. But they simply let Keldoran continue.

“Annabelle despised her beauty—her femininity that the entire temple praised and loved her for. And she pretended for so long to love it for the sake of others even though it was not her. That Aasimar, she withdrew and hid…” Keldoran looked up to the sky now, dark and vast. “It felt to her the light was gone, and that only shadow loomed like an endless night… There was no hope for Annabelle…”

Gale squeezed Keldoran’s hand tighter now, and Astarion shifted closer, holding the man’s hand more dear.

Keldoran shook his head, gulping the pain down. “The entire temple worried when they saw less and less joy within the young lady, and less and less of her overall. But one night in her despair, Annabelle lay within her bed and dreamed of a man. Gilded and broad, with only one arm, so very masculine, and he greeted Annabelle with a different name.” Now Keldoran hiccuped, quivering from head to toe, the feathers upon his wings furling. “’Keldoran,’ he said. ‘Let your woes not go unheard any longer. Justice is my domain, and so must you be given your dues.’ That man was Tyr, who lifted the crying Annabelle to a stand, a fear within because that name—the very name Tyr had called—was hidden inside. Never spoken aloud, only in heart.

“But that voice of heart was enough for Tyr to hear, and though not a woe of this Aasimar had been spoken yet, the godknew. Hepromised, he swore, that there was no lie lived. That the truth of oneself is to be found within. No one has the right to tell you who you are except for you…” Keldoran doubled over now, sobbing, shaking.

“Keldoran,” Gale reached around, and hugged the Aasimar. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not,” he replied weakly. “I swore myself to Tyr and not a day goes by where I regret this. He is my savior, who gave me my manhood and strength. He made me a man, and when I woke, I was me. At last I was me.

“But the temple… they saw this change. I carried the light of another god, I had desecrated the beauty of Sune, I betrayed what I was born for in their eyes, and my own parents stood with the temple as they banished me until I forsook this light and oath I took, and forsook this lie of myself to return to what Sune had given me. To the temple which once was home. They wanted me to be a woman and I am not a woman. I don’t want to be one.”

Astarion’s jaw dropped at this, himself gazing upon Keldoran in silence, eyes wide. However, he drew a deep breath, thinking deeply a moment. “When you found me on the path, outside the Nautiloid, I was afraid. A paladin—a warrior of the light—stood before me. I was certain you’d be my demise. But…” Astarion held one arm around Keldoran now, and looked into his eyes. “You never flinched when I told you what I am. Of all the people to accept me as a vampire, it was a paladin, and it was you, my dear.” He reached one hand and gently brushed away the tears. “At first, I couldn’t make sense of it, but now… I see. And my love?” Astarion lifted Keldoran’s face by the chin, leaned in, and kissed his lips, never looking away. “I understand. And I’mso sorry.”

Keldoran sobbed.

Gale leaned over, hugging the Aasimar from behind. He pressed into Keldoran, brushing the small wings upon his head, the hair behind his ears, stroked the thick braided beard as he reached down to Keldoran’s flat chest, and placed one hand upon his heart. “There are none so bold as a man who knows himself and what he wants. You’ve protected me from many things, and had I only known sooner, I would have done all within my power to protect you from the beginning, my love.” He reached around, kissing Keldoran’s cheek. “I admire your strength, Keldoran. Not just in battle, but as who you are. And I only hope to be so noble a man as you someday. Of course I love you. I think you could become an Ilithid and I’d still love you!”

Astarion reeled at that comment.

But Keldoran reached his beefy arms around both men, and drew them into himself now, squeezing each tight to the point they yelped as their backs cracked.

Keldoran immediately let go of both. “I—I’m sorry! I forget you two aren’t as… sturdy.”

“And that’s precisely why you’re our front man!” said Gale.

Astarion nodded, one finger tracing the Aasimar’s abs. “And for… other reasons.”

“Oh, get a room!” cried the wizard.

“I just might if there’s a nice enough place.”

Keldoran laughed gently at this, a small smile creeping across his face.

The first smile seen in days.

And all three men, lovers, held close as they sat beneath the stars, night above passing by, yet the light remained there inside the camp. With Keldoran.

A paladin of Tyr, and beacon of perfection in his own right.