#woke up sobbing cause it finally kicked in that he’s fucking gone. it’s like. i can’t even describe to anyone how just close i was with him

[arklay]

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[diazsdimples]

Fuck It Friday!

It's Friday evening and I've had some beans. Frostpunk AU is getting considerably longer but still nowhere near finishing?? It could very well end up being 30k+ 🫠 so apologies in advance!

Buck’s reading a book in his tent when Hen comes crashing in, her eyes wide and full of worry and she gestures for him frantically. “Buck, we need you in the med tent, now. It’s Christopher.” Heart in his mouth, Buck pulls on his coat and runs from the tent, hot on Hen’s heels as they pelt down the street, their feet pounding on the wooden slats. Buck skids to a halt in front of the med tent and takes a deep breath, steadying himself for whatever he might be about to see. He’d only just left the tent an hour ago to give himself a break, the feeling of Eddie’s hand in his still engrained in his memory. Both Christopher and Eddie had been looking fine then, their progress slow but trending upwards. Had Christopher taken a turn for the worse since then? Had he developed an infection in the cut on his leg? Buck is pulled from his thoughts as Hen pokes her head through the tent flaps and grabs his arm, tugging him in impatiently. “Come on,” she says as she drags him towards Christopher’s cot. “He’s been calling for you. He needs you.” He needs you. When Buck finally lays eyes on Christopher, it’s clear why they dragged him out here. For the first time since they got back to the city, Christopher’s awake. And he’s putting up a fight. Buck watches as Christopher flails out at the medic trying to calm him down, his little fists and legs flying everywhere as he kicks and hit and screams. The team around him looks panicked, afraid that Christopher’s going to do some real damage to himself or them. “Hey – hey, leave him alone!” Buck yells as one of the medics grabs Christophers wrists, trying to pin him back into the cot. He shoves himself forwards, pushing one of the medics out of the way, and throws the other medic off Christopher, shielding the kid with his body. “He’s scared! You’re scaring him!” “Buck, get out of the way, we need to sedate him –“ “Buck? Are you Buck?” Christopher’s voice penetrates through the chaos, small and scared but clear, and Buck whips around, hesitantly reaching out a hand to cup Christopher’s face. He remembers, almost too late, that all Christopher knows of him are the things he’s whispered whilst holding vigil at his and Edmundo’s bedside. He doesn’t know what Buck looks like, only the vaguest idea of who the man is. “Yeah, bud, it’s me, it’s Buck, I’m here.” Christopher immediately collapses into Buck’s arms and clings, wrapping himself tightly around Buck’s neck. His small body shakes as he cries, and Buck isn’t able to do much more than hold him, rubbing his back soothingly until Christopher’s sob quieten and his breathing evens out. Christopher takes a shaky breath and settles himself back against his pillows, looking up at Buck with big, teary eyes. Buck brushes a tear away from his cheek with his thumb. “You l-left! I woke up and you weren’t here!” Christopher sniffles, causing Buck’s heart to shatter into a million, tiny pieces. “I’m sorry, buddy, I didn’t mean to scare you by being gone. I’m not going anywhere now, okay? I promise.”

Tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @puppyboybuckley @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @aroeddiediaz @pirrusstuff @housewifebuck @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @tizniz @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @evanbegins @nmcggg @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @rainbow-nerdss @kitteneddiediaz @babytrapperdiaz @ci5mates @hermscat

[junisfics]

All This Time — Armin Arlert (2)

series masterlist

Pairing: Armin Arlert x Reader

Word Count: 5k

Series Summary: Reader messages her best friend Armin late one night while she's drunk and needy, but will she remember the things she said to him in the morning, and if she does... will she regret it?

Part Summary: The morning after isn’t what either of them would expect, but after Reader pushes Armin away… she asks him to come right back

Content: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Content Warnings: Sexual Content, Mentions of Masturbation, Implied Smut

Armin couldn’t sleep, he didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to lay conscious in your presence forever. So, for a while, he laid there, savoring the feeling of your warm body cuddled up next to him. He would smile to himself whenever you shifted around a little in your sleep just to nuzzle up closer to him, to toss and turn to lay your head on his chest.

He never wanted the morning to come.

He knew the moment that you wake you’d be asking questions. You’d be asking questions or you’d know exactly what happened and you’d kick him out of your bed. You’d be startled and confused and he’d have to explain to you that you were drunk and asked him to stay with you. But then you’d ask why you asked him to stay, and he’d need to explain to you that, while you were drunk, you went on a series of confessions and admissions.

When the sun had just begun to rise over the horizon, and your head was nestled into his shoulder, Armin finally allowed himself to close his eyes.

He didn’t dream. He didn’t get the chance to sleep long enough so his brain could enter that deep state of rest that would even allow him to. He only had feelings. Feelings of contentment, euphoria, nostalgia all washed over him after he closed his eyes.

He’s so in love. He’s in love with you. His heart aches every minute of the day for you, and for this brief passing moment that he has you in his arms, he’s going to pretend that you’re his. He’s going to wish on the morning sun that after this mess passes over that he’ll still have you, and he doesn’t even care if it’s as a friend. Because if Armin can still be the one you cry to at night, he would gladly be your friend over your lover.

He was so grateful as he slept, grateful that whenever he would get that glimpse of consciousness as he turned in the bed that he could still feel your body up against him. He would smile at the little sighs that would leave your lips as you stretched a little in your sleep or when you grabbed ahold of his shirt to anchor you closer.

But Armin wasn’t grateful when you woke.

You had found yourself with your right leg swung over his waist as he lays on his back, your right arm wrapping itself around his neck, and your face nestled into the crook under his jaw. You were laying on top of a chest you didn’t know who it belonged to.

You laid there for a moment, with your eyes wide and staring into the pale flushed skin of his neck as you so desperately try and recall who is in your bed and why they’re there. You were frozen… like you were scared to see who it was.

Finally, you grew the courage to lift your head slightly to peek at their face.

It was Armin. Armin.

Your best friend Armin, that you’ve been in love with for years on end was beneath you in your bed in a position that was far too intimate for you to consider that he had just stayed the night as a friend.

His lips were slightly parted as he breathed, his pretty eyelashes resting against his cheeks that were flushed a cute little shade of pink. His hair was all ruffled and messed, pushed out of his eyes so you could see his entire face. 

You weren’t disgusted by him being in your bed… my goodness, it was far from that. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest at the revelation and all of a sudden your body was growing hot and the sheets that remained draped over you were suffocating. 

At a second realization of ‘Oh my god, Armin’s in my bed’, you jerk your entire body away from him, scramble out of the bed and stumble to the floor just as he shoots upright in his wake. Your eyes were completely blown wide, your lips were pressed into a tight line and Armin could see your arms shaking at your sides. You looked mortified.

Armin lays with his arms behind him, resting on the heels of his hand as he looks to you with an equally incredulous expression.

“What — what are you doing in my bed?” You ask, voice just above a whisper. You’re too startled to speak any louder.

“You asked me to stay,” Armin says quickly, remaining still like he’s afraid you’ll be startled by any movement.

You take your eyes off him for a moment to scan them across the ground as you think over what could have possibly happened. They flit from side to side, jerking in their sockets as you look over the hardwood floor.

“Did — did we…?” You begin, your chest beginning to visibly heave as you suck in deep breaths. 

You don’t know whether you want him to answer that question with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. But some sick twisted part of you was aroused by the possibility that the answer could be ‘yes’.

“No! No — you — you were drunk, I didn’t — we didn’t.” He stammers, pulling the sheets off of him and cautiously getting off the bed.

As horrible as it sounds, Armin was relieved to see that you’d forgotten everything that happened. Although he would have to work to pull that confession out of you again, it was much better than you avoiding him out of embarrassment and regret.

But as you think over what he’s said to you in regards to the night’s events, it slowly comes back to you. It’s all blurry, and for a moment you think you could be mistaking it for a dream, but you can make out the brief image of him in your doorway, then between your legs as you sit on the kitchen counter, and then on top of you on your bed.

And then you remember the conversation that had gone along with it.

“I… I asked you to stay…” You murmur to yourself, bringing your head back up to him as he finally stands on the other side of the bed, “Oh my god.”

You bring one arm around your waist and one clasps over your mouth, and for a moment, Armin’s scared you’re going to be sick. But between your fingers, he can hear you whisper a series of expletives over and over.

“Fuck, fuck — you need to go. Fuck! Armin, I’m sorry.” You exclaim, voice wavering as you take your hand from your mouth to point at your bedroom door.

Armin’s heart sinks into his stomach as he realizes that you have remembered every last thing you’d said to him. Maybe he’s the one who’s going to be sick because the terrified and regretful look on your face as his stomach churning in all the wrong ways.

“Out! Now! Oh my God!” You shout, enunciating with another point to the door. Your voice begins to tremble and…

God, please don’t cry. Please don’t cry.

Armin shuts his mouth and clenches his jaw, keeping his eyes on you as he blindly crosses your room to get to your door. He swallows hard before pausing once he gets to the door.

“y/n —”

“Get out!” You cover your eyes with your spare hand as you feel tears beginning to prick your vision.

You’ve cried in front of Armin before, both happy and sad cries. But you’ve never cried because of him, or something you’ve done to him; and never out of frustration in front of him. And you didn’t want to start now.

Armin flinches at your volume and sheepishly exits your room. You follow him, but only to close the door behind him. You swear you could hear him gasp as it slams.

It hurts your heart to see him cowering away from you, and you add that to the things that cause the tears to finally flow over. Not only did you completely humiliate yourself in front of him last night, but you admit something to him you promised yourself you’d never admit… and on top of that, you had just yelled at him.

Fuck, you yelled at him. He didn’t deserve that.

He came over to your house in the middle of the night, worried about your wellbeing because you didn’t have the nerve to tell him you were just drunk. He babied you and cared for you while you were in his way the whole time, and even though it’s the bare minimum, he didn’t have sex with you even though you begged him to.

He was too good, he didn’t deserve that.

You rest your back to the door, sliding down it until your butt hits the floor as your breathing gets choked up and you threaten to audibly sob. You let out a noise of frustration as you cross your arms over your knees and shove your face into the crook of your right elbow.

You can hear your front door shut as he leaves and it only causes you to let out another shaky groan.

The energy towards crying and groaning does no help to the painful pressure that’s already building in your head. You can feel it ache behind your eyes, throbbing along with your heartbeat and sending jolts of sharp pain through your skull when you blink.

You felt disgusting. You were covered in sweat and tears and your fingers and lips were still sticky with remnants of alcohol. You could still taste it on your tongue; the food and the alcohol. But the medicinal taste of the vodka strongly outweighs the warming remains of the melted butter.

It’s like it was telling you that your mistakes outweighed Armin’s kindness.

You didn’t exactly know why you were crying, you only knew that it came from frustration. It was all just churning around in a pot of distress. It was a vile potion of embarrassment, regret, shame, and humiliation that was being force-fed to you as you sat there on the floor.

Even though you heard Armin’s own confession, you still were overwhelmed with regret. His words were still a little blurry, you were still trying to get a grasp on the weight of them.

I’ve always wanted you too.

You didn’t want this. You didn’t want any of it. You were satisfied with the friendship between the two of you, you never wanted it to change. It was platonic, emotionally intimate at times, but it was platonic. You were twin flames, and you didn’t want your internal desire to rip that away from you.

Being friends, best friends, with Armin was a healthy relationship. You could handle the occasional jealousy and lack of physical intimacy if it saved your friendship. You liked it that way. And now that the barriers were broken, and you had forced Armin to leave, you were terrified of losing him at the cost.

Keeping quiet about your romantic love for him was so easy when you had him in the palm of your hand and knew that he would never leave you, especially since you now know that he shared that feeling back. You both were content with the relationship you had. You both knew that neither of you was going anywhere.

It’s not that you planned to never tell him, you knew that you would eventually. But you were planning for years in the future, or maybe you were hoping to grow out of it. You would be able to sit down with him and bring it on easy, give yourself a choice in how you tell him.

But the premature and impulsive reveal of your truth had startled you and you pushed him away in the process.

So, in a way, you didn’t necessarily regret telling him… it was the way you did it.

And you weren’t the only one freaking out about the ways of your confession. Armin was an absolute mess.

In your mind, you were worried that he was taking your words as the truth, but Armin was doing the exact opposite. His thoughts were flying around like hummingbirds, wings flapping at hundreds of beats a minute. He was stuck between hitting the steering wheel out of frustration or just breaking down crying in his car.

Because in Armin’s head, you remembered exactly what you said and you had caught yourself in a lie. You had recognized that it was the alcohol talking and you didn’t mean a single thing you said; you only said it because you were lonely and needy. 

And then, you had also recalled the exact words he had said to you in response. The words that were full of honesty. You had remembered the way he said it and the way he had looked at you, and you had been disgusted by it.

In your drunken lies, he had revealed his truth.

And you were regretful of your alcohol-fueled words because they led him to speak on his true desire.

Now, in his head, you were repulsed by him.

He hits the steering wheel hard, hard enough so that he’s gripping his fist with his other hand and gritting his teeth at the pain that shoots through his arm afterward. And then those tears swell in his eyes, stinging them and blurring his vision as he tries to blink them away.

He’s sucking in breaths through his teeth as he finally pulls out of your complex lot. He wipes at his eyes as he drives home as if he believes he’s not actually crying if the tears don’t fall down his cheeks.

You both were embarrassed; at what you did and what you’re doing. Both of you sniffling pathetically as you keep replaying this morning in your heads. Both of you hating yourselves; you for yelling at Armin, and Armin for what he thinks your yelling was for.

You sat on the floor for a while, eventually bringing your legs away from your chest to cross them under each other. You still sat with your head in your hands and your elbows resting on your knees as you steady your breathing before trying to continue with your day.

You wipe at your face in hopes to push the tears away, but you only spread your flaking mascara around and mix it with the sweat and oil that’s accumulated on your face. It was a gross feeling, and it was the thing that finally convinced you to get up.

Water joined your tears in wetting your face as you splash it on from the tap of your bathroom sink. You scrub a little too hard after you rub your face wash in, almost scratching at your skin to get last night’s both physical and mental remnants off your face and out of your head. The water refreshes your skin as you do a final splash to get the suds off, but it does no help to your headache. It only throbs in your head harder from leaning over the sink.

As you lift your head from spitting toothpaste into the drain, another wave of throbbing pain pulses behind your eyes. And as you stare into the mirror, you decide to prioritize getting pain medicine before continuing to refresh yourself. The cup Armin had got for you last night was still sitting on the floor at the base of the bed, and as you pick it up you let out an audible, melancholic sigh. You watch the remainder of the water swish around at the bottom of the cup as you make your way to the kitchen.

You find the pain medicine already sitting on the counter. You bite at the inside of your cheek upon the realization that he most likely placed it there last night insight of the morning. 

You hate him, hate him for the way he cares for you and the way he’s so goddamn selfless. Everything about him had your heart twisting in on itself and chest tightening to where you couldn’t breathe.

That only started a few years ago, junior year of high school. You still vividly remember looking into his deep blue eyes, getting lost in their ocean as you hold his sweet face in your hands. It was after your high school had sent out emails regarding the college admission process. Both of you were unsettled with the idea of leaving.

Armin promised you, over and over, that he’d call and visit and drive to however far you go whenever you need it. And then you had grabbed his face in your hands and said to him, ‘now, don’t go replacing me’. That made him giggle a little, his cheeks heating up under your palms before he said

‘I wouldn’t dare’

That was it for you. And after he had gone home you had sat on your bed… just sitting there, wondering why your heart was feeling the way it did.

It’s been like that since. Every last time you saw him it made your whole soul ache. You fell in love with him; his voice, his touch, his mind. You were absolutely drowning in his ocean and he was holding your head underwater, but all this time you were doing the same to him.

You didn’t make breakfast. The state of the kitchen from your drunken antics was a turn-off, and the alcohol that was still swimming around in your stomach had you feeling a little too nauseous for food just yet.

Deciding to clean up the kitchen was probably the safest option for you right now. You were debating between doing as so, or returning to bed and sleeping the day away. But since Armin still lingered within your sheets, kitchen chores were decided on as you already began to shuffle away measuring spoons to their respective drawers.

As you cleaned, you allowed yourself to think forward, accepting the situation and moving on to figuring out how to deal with it. You haven’t checked your phone to see if Armin had messaged you, but you bet your chances that he hasn’t. You probably scared him, for God’s sake.

The guilt and denial were still simmering as the acceptance was poured into the pot. You knew you needed to apologize for a multitude of things that have occurred within the past twelve-ish hours, starting with the fact that you called him in the middle of the night in the first place. Armin already knows you’re sorry, he can read you like a book, but you need to say it to him. You need to call him or something.

You were at a crossroads once more; did you allow the tension to settle a little while longer, or do you apologize as soon as possible? You had to apologize before he did, because you know damn well he will eventually, even though this situation that wasn’t his fault.

When the bowl with the dry baking goods clashes with the counter and clatters to the floor, spilling its contents all around your feet, you get your answer for you. In an overflow of emotions and frustrated curses, you leave the mess on the floor and blindly search through the house for your phone. When it’s found, you call him again, sniffling and letting yourself cry in defeat.

Armin got your call not even an hour after he had arrived home. He’d ignored his grandparents as they welcomed him home, even though he knew he would regret it later, and dragged himself straight up the stairs to his bedroom to just take a seat on the edge of his bed. He had his head in his hands, heels of his palms pressing into his temples.

And he just sat. Armin sat with his teeth piercing his bottom lip and his mind telling him that he’s never going to be able to be with you the way he was before.

He looked at his phone for a few moments, watching it buzz, face-up on his nightstand. It took him a few moments to register that it was you calling him and not a spam number.

He couldn’t stop himself from picking up.

‘Armin? Armin, I’m sorry — I’m sorry for yelling, just please — please come back,’

It was safe to assume that you were crying. He could hear your hiccuping and sniffling through the phone. All sort of self-respect he had gone out the door once he heard your distress. As much as you hated him for being so kind, he hated you for having him wrapped around your finger.

“What happened?” He asks.

‘I — I need to talk to you and I spilled — spilled shit all over the kitchen. I’m just so fucking — God, Armin I’m sorry!’

The lack of communication was truly hindering both of you severely. Both of your executions were fucked and both of your receptions were equally so because of poor wording. Now, Armin didn’t know what you were mad at and you didn’t know if he was upset in return.

“Can I come help?” He says, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible.

‘Please,’ You beg, and he can still you rustling around on the other end.

Armin relaxes, but only a little, because at least he knew you weren’t mad at him. Or maybe you were, but your own guilt was outweighing it. He had a feeling you were reflecting your self-frustration onto him, he always has a feeling. He knows you too well not to.

It was almost funny how you greet him at the door you had just recently slammed in his face. You had tears running down your cheeks and you were sniffling and coughing as you tried to sputter out a string of explanations. For a moment, Armin could only stand there and watch; watch you speak nonsense while gesturing with your hands.

After a minute or so, Armin realizes that you’ve stopped. He couldn’t make out a single thing you had said, only getting an ear of something that sounded like an apology. But no matter what you had said to him, he outstretches his arms to pull your shaking body against him. And as he holds you close, as your arms wrap around his torso, you can’t stop another wave of tears that drip down your cheeks.

Armin just holds you, like he did last night when he was in your bed. Your head on his shoulder, nose nuzzling into the crook of his jaw, and hands grabbing at the fabric at the back of his tee-shirt.

“I’m sorry,” He says softly, “I didn’t mean to — mean to scare you or — or anything,”

His attempt to comfort you only crumbles you down more because he didn’t need to apologize, he doesn’t have to apologize.

“No, no, no Armin,” You stutter, pushing at his chest to distance yourself enough to look at his face. He lets his hands fall to your waist, keeping a tight enough grip on you to not let you escape. You look up to him for a moment before looking down to his chest, hitting against it softly out of frustration, “Don't — don’t apologize. You don’t need to apologize,”

“I want to,” He tilts his head down slightly.

“Don’t! Please. This — this is my fault. I never — I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted to see you last night. I wanted to see you because I love you. I love you, like, more than I should, and I didn’t mean to tell you last night. I’m sorry, God, I’m so sorry,” You grab at his shirt again, tugging on it and stretching it out.

“y/n —” He begins.

“And I scared myself because — because I didn’t mean to say it then and — and I didn’t think you were going to say it back. I just — I don’t know,” You take in a shaky exhale before letting it out.

Armin feels like he can breathe again. You were sincere last night, you were telling the truth, and you weren’t disgusted with him. Armin could breathe again because he knew the feeling was mutual.

You let yourself bring your cheek back to his chest, bending your elbows to bring yourself close to him. Armin lets his arms slide around your waist, pulling you against him again to hopefully convey that ‘this is okay’

“I embarrassed myself… and I yelled at you because of it and — and you don’t deserve that.” You mumble a little softer, into the soft skin of his neck.

You can feel his chest shift around beneath your cheek as he breathes, and you can hear his heart beating quickly but steadily under your ear. You don’t want to leave him this time, you don’t want to jerk away from his touch. But you’re also scared of what will happen when you do have to pull away from him.

So you let yourself stay like this for a while, and Armin doesn’t protest. He continues to caress the skin of your back through that skimpy tanktop you’re still wearing and rests his cheek against the top of your head. He could stay like this forever, the same way he could have when he was in your bed last night.

“I meant what I said,” Armin says, stilling his hands until only his thumb gently circles over your shirt, “That I’ve always… wanted you — and loved you,”

With your body still pressed against him you say, “All this time… it — it was always you. I just didn’t know how to say it and I didn’t want to scare you away,”

“You could never,”

“And I was worried about what would happen after I told you. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t feel the same way. I couldn’t lose this.” Your voice has shrunk down to an almost whisper, and you’ve shut your eye and let yourself sink deeper into his skin.

“God, y/n,” Armin can’t stop the breathy laugh that leaves his lips, “You — you have no idea,” He pushes on your shoulders gently to look at your face.

“Why are you laughing?” You look up to him, a little confused and concerned look on your face.

“I’m not. I just — you have no fucking idea how — how crazy I am for you,” Armin grabs ahold of your face hard enough so your cheeks get smushed slightly beneath his palms. Your own hands come up to his forearms, just grazing them.

“I don’t know how you didn’t see it,” He whispers, looking into your wide eyes with admiration.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest and you hope that Armin can feel your cheeks heat up beneath his hands. He was so close, he was right there, he was looking down to you with his nose an inch away from yours.

“Do you — do you remember what I said last night?” You breathe, leaning forward ever so slightly.

God, how could he forget?

“Which… which part?” Armin could barely think. You were rising on your toes, your breath fanning over his lips. He could feel your body trembling as you brought yourself closer to him.

“When I said that I want you,” You mumble, looking to his lips for a brief moment. Armin catches the flit of your eyes and he can feel his stomach twist, “that I need you,”

“Yeah,” Armin can’t stop his voice from shaking, “What — what do you need from me?”

And he knows the answer, he knows the answer, he just needs to hear you say it. He needs to hear your sweet voice speak words so lewd that he’ll feel like his knees have turned to jelly. 

“I want you to fuck me, just like you promised. I’m sober this time, I slept it off.” Your breathing is so shaky, your voice is all strained to the point where it could pass for a whimper.

Armin can feel your words flow straight south, swimming below his navel and hardening his cock. He looks over you, over your face and your body that’s still exposed by your revealing clothes. He wants to tear them off.

“We can talk more later. I need you, so bad.” You bring your hands to his chest again, taking the stretched fabric in your fingers and tugging him closer.

“Yeah?” Armin nods in confirmation, he would tease you if he had the courage to.

“Yeah,” You nod, biting down on your bottom lip. You rise on your toes again, bringing your body flush against his. You can feel his cock hard in his sweats against your stomach, can feel his chest rising and falling quickly.

“Can — can I have you, please.” You slide one hand down his chest, shivering at the way the lean muscles in his abdomen divet under your fingertips. When you reach his waistband, you stop, toying with the strings with your right hand.

Armin answers you by grabbing ahold of the back of your neck and bringing your lips to his. They’re soft and warm, and they make your insides go all fuzzy and you practically whimper at the sensation. Your legs were already shaking due to the close proximity but now you’re deathly afraid of your knees buckling.

He felt so right up against you, with his hands holding you close and his tongue licking at the seam of your lips. He had you melting so quickly that you cannot believe you forced yourself to wait this long to tell him.

Even though your body was all tense, something inside you relaxed. Armin was here with you, he wasn’t leaving.

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Dad scenario: Someone hits you.

Summary: You're around 8 playing or trying to get you parents attention, someone hits accidentally or on purpose, your father took exception to this. and decided to return the favor with interest.

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Shigaraki: All the senior members of the league knew who you were and knew to never mess with Shigaraki's princess, unless they wanted to be a pile of rot on the floor.. however there were was a newbie about 18 years old who just recently joined had no idea who you were and thought you were some street brat and the resident punch bag, so imagine his surprise when he demanded you hand over your Gameboy, and you told him to go suck a lemon bad move.

You were kicked in the ribs sent airborne toward the wall and crashed into and fell to the floor clutching your stomach in pain. "Next time I ask for something you give it to me you little brat!" the boy sneered before looking down at your crying shaking body and heard you calling out. "Daddy...daddy..." He started laughing at your wailing and tried to get everyone else on his side, but no one moved they just stared at (dickhead) in horror he looked at them all confused.

"C'mon what the hells wrong with you guys?" as you were hyperventaling as the door to the back opened in stepped Shigaraki who looked around the bar confused why everyone was so quiet before hearing you crying and wheezing and his red eyes zeroed in on his daughter on the floor and (Dickhead) walking over to him with this shit eating grin holding your Gameboy … 

"Hey boss you like gaming, you got any-" Shigaraki shoved him and made a bee-line towards you and he crouched down carefully helped you sit up , you were clutching your ribs. "D-daddy.." you stammered as your dad shushed you and pulled your shirt up, if they thought Tomura was mad before they were wrong! the second he saw the large bruise on your stomach, he saw red...  "it's all right Princess Daddy's got you." he cooed picking you up ( he's got gloves on) keeping your face tucked in his shoulder.

Shigaraki then turned towards (dickhead) who's cocky grin turned to a confused pout as he tried processing what was going on, as your dad started slowly walking towards him, stoned faced red eyes alight with rage as he brought his free hand up to his mouth taking his glove off with his teeth, (dickhead)'s face slowly contorted in horror as he realized you weren't some random brat they picked up off streets!

You were his boss's kid! and he punted you across the bar for a toy! "Hey-I-i didn't know man,-s she can have it back-" the last thing he saw was Shigaraki's hand coming for his face, everyone in the bar looked away or down at their drinks "Someone clean that up." Your dad ordered as he calmly put his glove back on and stepped over a pile of dust and clothes as he took you to the doctor to make sure that waste of an NPC didn't break your ribs.

----------------------------------------

Kirishima: You were both at the bank you were off to the side fidgeting with your dress waiting for your dad to finish up at the teller and decided to  wander around the lobby, checking around if there any candy bowls around here, when you bumped into another adult a balding mad who's back was to you, "oops I'm sorr-" You were cut off by a loud crack! and suddenly you found yourself floor clutch your stinging cheek stunned as this angry red faced man screamed in your face. "I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE FUCKING CAR (random boys name!)!?" You there was tense ringing in your ears as you burst out wailing as the demeanor changed as he finally got a good look at you and in horror realized you were a little girl and not his son. 

"uh-r" Just then Red blur came running at him and he was punched in the jaw by rock hard fist that sent him flying through the bank's glass door by a very pissed off Eijirou, who looked like was gonna kill him before he felt she daughter hug his leg, which she does when she wants to go home, his red eyes looked down at you the back the man who was being check on by the bank security, then back to you starring back at him tearfully, your dad took a deep breath picked you up and kissed the bruise forming on you cheek, and told manager he'll pay for the window. "YOU'RE MEAN!" you screamed at the man who hit you who was now awake with his actual son who was a teenager was standing awkward to the side looking embarrassed, the man flinched when your dad shot him a glare as you both passed him.

A week later the jerky dad had the gall to try taking your dad to court, the judge got one look at the security footage and your still healing face and laughed in the guys face and threw the case out.

-----------------------------------------------------

Dabi: Your mom was the owner of his favorite Dive bar, They don't ask questions and he don't give answers, Anyway mom had stepped out to get weekly restock delivery and left Dabi in charge, things were wrapping up for the night when you had wandered down from the upstairs apartment way passed your bed. "Hey ,Firefly what're you doing up?" he said picking you up and sitting you on his lap. 

"Was the music too loud?" You shook your head he hummed you weren't feeling well and woke up, went looking for one of you parents, he felt how hot your forehead was under his chin and frowned. "Want some ginger ale?" he aske rubbing your back you uh-huh'd as your dad leaned over the bar grabbed a glass and went to grab the dispenser hose for the ginger ale.

Meanwhile some scantily dressed chick who been eyeing your dad like a hungry dog all night was angerly made her way over, in her drunken haze she saw another woman cuddled up to him instead of a little girl, stomped over to bar and before Dabi could register what was going on a nasally voice sneered "Get off my man whore!" and a manicured hand suddenly reached out and grabbed a fist full of your hair and tried yanking you out of his lap!

"Eek Daady!" You screamed in pain as your dad whipped around "What the hell?" Dabi snarled grabbing the woman's arm and using his quirk to burn her, the painted hussy let out this pterodactyl like screech and let go of your hair, then you threw up on her legs causing her to scream louder "My shoes!!!?" she shrieked and went to hit you, but Dabi had ignited his hand and stopped her. 

"Get the fuck out, before I melt your fucking face..." Dabi hissed as you held on to him like a baby koala crying and shaking like a leaf, Your dad watched the bouncer throw the bitch out, while she bitched and cried about knowing the owner and how he'll beat Dabi's ass. "And then you'll sorry!" she wailed as the bouncer shoved her away. "Oh we'll see about that..." Dabi mused as he tried calming you down and making sure she didn't hurt you too badly.

True to her word the bitch came to complain to the owner not realizing that A. the owner was a woman, B. they were Dabi wife, and C) the mother of that "midget whore" who barfed on her fake designers shoes. Dabi watched from the upstairs window calmly sipping his morning coffee as the woman said her sob story and demanded compensation! 

He smirked as your mom nodded calmly put the empty keg she was carrying on her shoulder down on the sidewalk, and without saying a word deck the woman in the face knocking her out cold. "There's your compensation..." She huffed then calmly picked the keg back up and put it on the truck, Dabi whistled at her "Say babe, have I ever told you how much I love you?" he said watching her from the open window your mom blushed flipped him off, he chuckled he could see her smiling. 

---------------------------

Katsuki: it was Kirishima it was you birthday and he was showing his quirk off to some of the kids when you ran into his elbow, knock on your butt sat there for a few seconds as your uncle and parents fussed over you, Eijirou was apologizing to you asking if you were alright? you just stared at them blankly before grimacing, causing your mom to bring her hand up towards your mouth and like that you spat a tooth out into the palm of her hand, her [y/ec] eyes widened while your dad and and uncle started freaking out...

Well.... more like your dad had uncle Kirishima by the shirt collar threatening to destroy him! while Eijirou came saying how sorry he was and it was an accident! while they were yelling your mom checked your mouth carefully counting your teeth, then sighed in relief before turning your dad. "Katsuki...." your dad didn't hear her as he was telling Kirishima to pay for you dental work!

"Katsuki." she tried again, but he was too far gone. "Alright you asked for it!" she yelled finally getting Katsuki's attention when he realized she was going use her quirk. "Hon, wai-" too late your mom snapped her fingers and your dad, still holding Kirishima, was frozen in place. Your mom calmly brought you over to your them and had you open your mouth and show him the "Damage" your dad's red eyes looked at you then back at your mom who was holding the tooth. "He knocked out that tooth... we were gonna have, y'know?" His eyes widened as he realized Shitty-Hair had knocked out a stubborn baby tooth that refuse to fall out, and were gonna have it pulled next week...

Your mom unfroze your dad and he dropped Kirishima before taking the tooth to examine it, making sure it really the right tooth, and he seemed to calm down, muttering an apology to Kirishima, then whispered something to you mom that made her blush. "You better be ready for it..." he purred in her ear, while you stared up at your parents confused. "Ready for what?" you asked innocently they both froze before Kirishima grabbed your hand. "say kiddo, let's see if (Kirishima's kid.) wants to play!" he said making a hasty get away with you.  

[fernweh-writes]

not too sure how to submit a request but if possible maybe a billy loomis x reader hurt/comfort? 💕

This is my first time writing a hurt comfort fic so…

-Fern🌿

Word Count: 1.3k

After what you could easily mark up as one of the worst days of your life you were completely exhausted. As soon as you got home you slipped off your shoes, changed into comfortable clothes, and crawled into bed to wallow in your self pity. Once you were bundled up under the covers the mental exhaustion kicked in with the physical exhaustion, but still you just couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Instead, your eyes locked into a random spot on the wall and you began to simply stare as your mind went blank. It was the closest thing to sleep you could manage and you were able to convince yourself that you were still resting, just not ideally.

Eventually your mind began to wander back to the day you had just endured. Thinking of your argument with Billy this morning and the harsh words exchanged did nothing but make your chest ache. Then there was lunch with your family that had gone horribly and you began to wonder if any of them would ever contact you again and pretend it had never happened and everything was okay. You knew better than to hope for an apology from them. By the time you began to recap the shitty work day and your boss yelling at you, tears had begun to stream down your face. Still, you couldn’t find the energy to sob, so you simply allowed your tears to fall and soak the pillow beneath you.

You jerked awake when your phone began to ring. Sleep and confusion clouded your brain, and your body ached and felt heavy so you simply let the phone ring. If it was important it could just wait for tomorrow. As your eyes drifted to the clock on your nightstand you realized that technically it was tomorrow. It was just 2 A.M.

Writing it off as a wrong number, you rolled over and shut your eyes, hoping sleep would pull you back under. Right as you began to drift off the phone began to ring again. Huffing you climbed out of bed and began to dig around in your bag for your cellphone. Seeing your boyfriends name made your heart drop. What could he possibly want at this time of night, he had all day to call you.

“Jesus Christ, y/n, where the fuck have you been?” His voice was angry and you could tell he was seething. ‘Not like that’s out of the norm,’ you thought bitterly.

“What are you talking about Billy,” you mumbled. You yawned and rubbed the sleep away from your eyes. “Why are you even calling me at two in the morning anyways?”

“Oh please, you can’t be serious. Don’t tell me you forgot about the plans you made. I waited on you for hours! And- did you just wake up?”

You groaned. “That’s kind of why I didn’t pick up the first time…and I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” Pulling your phone away you looked down at your phone and noticed the date. It was Saturday, which meant you had completely forgotten about the plans you had made for late Friday night with Billy. “Shit, Billy, I’m sorry I just-“

“Of course you are, you-“

You stopped him before he could even start his rant. “You know what, I don’t want to hear it! You’re always the one throwing a pity party for yourself and I never say anything about it. So for once in your fucking life can you shut up and let someone else be miserable for once. After the day I’ve had you don’t get to yell at me and play the victim anymore Billy. And if my memory serves me right, and believe me I think it does, you told me to forget about those plans after our last argument. So you know what, I did exactly what you wanted, I forgot about it!”

With that you hung up the phone and tossed it away from you. Arguing made you feel sick to your stomach, you hated arguing with him. Billy always did a damn good job of using certain things as leverage against you and you were tired of it. You just wanted to be able to relax for once, to stop stressing.

Negative thoughts began to consume you. You two had done nothing but argue lately and even though he managed to get on every last nerve you still loved him. He was toxic, he killed people, he loved to pick fights with you, he was simply bad news. In a way all those poor attributes were so terribly familiar that in a way they were comforting. You were addicted to Billy Loomis. So much so that even now you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

Crawling back into your bed you laid down, wiping your tears away with the shirt you were wearing, Billy’s shirt. This time, you sobbed. Sobs that shook your whole body and left you gasping for air. You could’ve sworn it felt like someone had their hand wrapped around your heart, squeezing it. If you lost Billy, you lost everything.

Pulling your pillow close to your chest you let all the hurt of the past day finally come crashing over you and be let out. You cried until you ran out of tears and pain, you simply felt numb. Instead, sniffles racked through your body occasionally. The aftershocks of your meltdown.

“Are you done now?” You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard him. Even though the room was dark, just enough moonlight streamed through your window for you to make him out.

“What do you want, Billy?” You had meant for it to sound bitter, but your voice sounded hoarse and weak. Your stuffy nose certainly didn’t help you sound anymore intimidating either. You sounded pathetic.

He didn’t say anything but he moved to sit at the end of your bed, which dipped under his weight. You watched as he bent over to untie his shoes and threw his jacket across the room, making himself comfortable.

When he crawled into the bed next to you, you didn’t protest. Maybe you should have. If it had been earlier in the day, you probably would have. But you were to tired to argue anymore. So when he pulled you against him and held you against his chest you didn’t argue. But you did tear up a little bit again. He felt safe, like home. Nothing could harm you when you were wrapped up in his arms.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to start crying again.” You sniffed and wiped away the tears that had tried to form, “no.”

He chuckled at that and placed a kiss on the top of your head as he bang to mess with your hair. “Good.”

Neither of you said anything after that. All you heard was the sound of his heartbeat in his chest and you could feel his chest rise and fall steadily. If you didn’t know any better you would be thought he was asleep, but you knew him better than that. He was still tense.

“I’m really sorry y/n.” Apologies from Billy were very rare. Hearing those words from him made your stomach do flips as you nuzzled against him. “I know.”

Apologies were rare. The fact he did apologize let you know there would be no more arguments. When you woke up in the morning he would make things better, the two of you could move past this. Things were finally beginning to look up. Content with the knowledge Billy wasn’t going anywhere was enough for you to relax. Him holding you close, playing with your hair and running his hand up and down your back only caused you to relax even further.

As soon as sleep was about to take you once more you heard him whisper an, “I love you.” Yeah, everything was going to be okay.

[anaiswriterr]

 For the sake of our relationship

Pairing: Fem!ProHeroReader x Hawks

Rating: M

Authors Note: This story contains subjects that may not be suitable for a younger audience, warning: Blood, fighting, swearing, the word rape is used and sexual content. This is an angst story. Inspired from the story, “I’m your Salvation.” Also the readers quirk is: Electricity, you can control electricity. Hero name: Elytra. Also this story is extremely long!

Synopsis: When Y/N loses her quirk and possibly her career all in one day, she’s faced with hard decisions, and grief. Keigo just wants to help but what if you just don’t want his help? Will the relationship crumble?

 He didn’t know if it were the cuts, scrapes, burns, gashes and the deep dark bruises that covered your body, that shook him to the core. Or if it were the ventilator that was placed in your throat that made him boil and shake in his seat in anger.

   His lips pressed into a thin line, rubbing the tears that spilled over his cheeks away every few minutes. His uncontrollable sobs that shook his body, and the constant whispers of encouragement he’d give to you through his choked sobs.

   “Come on kid, just fight it.”

   He held onto your hand, rubbing over the bruise on your wrist lightly, waiting for you to wake up. His teary eyes wondered all over your beaten body and landed on your neck. A large imprint of a hand was bruised, painting the area in black and blue, the cuts all over your face only made him want to go out and find whoever did this to you.

   You had been gone on a mission for only a couple of weeks, saying, “Stop worrying, I’ll come back home like normal and you’re gonna see how silly you were.” You’d teased, sticking out your tongue at him and kissing him goodbye. He knew the work you two did was dangerous, sometimes one of you would come in the early hours of the morning with bruises and cuts that weren’t there the other night. And sometimes it’d be burn marks and for him shorter wings. But he never knew it’d be like this, to the point you were in a hospital room fighting for your life after a mission that went horribly wrong. Nobody had word of the incident, and the Hero Commission would make sure of that till you were fully healed.

   It only made Keigo angrier. The fact that they only thought of your return, and jumping right back into hero work.. Not giving a damn if you were just holding on by just a thread. Life was different now. It had been now, two weeks since you were admitted into the hospital. Keigo would only leave your side to shower and come back, dismissing all his hero work and leaving it to his sidekicks; instructing them to only call him if it’s absolutely necessary.

   He’d only hope that he wouldn’t have to leave. Your state had only seemed to worsen, it was later when a doctor had come in to discuss an important and life changing conversation with Keigo.

   There was one word that rung continuously in his brain, one word that made him sit down.

   “Quirkless.”

   ***

   You wished you were dead.

   You wished your body would’ve given out and that you would’ve died. Not wake up in a lifeless hospital, with guilt rushing over your body. Staring lifelessly at the blank ceiling, you woke up after another week of being admitted into the hospital. You didn’t cry, you didn’t mutter not even a single word.

   Your voice wouldn’t let you.

   It was hoarse and raw, your body ached and throbbed and yet you still didn’t cry. You couldn’t, they’d dwell but wouldn’t fall 

   You didn’t even acknowledge your longtime boyfriend Keigo; sitting there.

   ‘What kinda hero am I if I couldn’t even save those people?’

   The screaming and yelling, the sound of innocent children being slaughtered. It was your fault, you couldn’t save them.

   And now it appears you can’t ever save people.

   When the doctor informed you about no longer having your quirks you remained lifeless, laying your body right back down and turning to face the wall.

   “Leave.” You mumbled.

   “Babe, you need to listen he’s-“

   You gripped at your pillow even tighter, “Tell him to get the fuck out! Or I’ll tell you too next!” You shouted into the pillow, not looking at his hurt expression. He looked towards the Doctor, with an apologetic look. And returned back to sitting next to you, watching you. It was the first time you expressed something, it was cruel.

   Innocent people died and now you’re quirkless? You don’t even know how, it was all so fast. So was it a sick game, to be forever punished. But you guess you deserved it, karma after all.

   You haven’t spoken a single word to Keigo, not wanting to face him as the ‘Pro hero who couldn’t do her job.’ It was shameful. Embarrassing to even be linked with him. He was perfect, like an angel. And you were just like the rest of the hero’s who burnt up too fast.

***

   You were discharged a week after, with an assortment of prescriptions and medications. Even creams for the deep scars on your body.

   Keigo insisted the first thing you should do was take a bath when you got home, he was helpful. Making sure you were all set to go and even brought you clothes for when you were finally discharged, your attitude towards him remained the same:

   Cold and quiet.

   It was like radio silence between you two, with slight static from his end as he’d try to reach with with kind eyes and soft kisses. But like a painting, you remain the same.

   When you two got home he quickly helped you inside by grabbing your bicep. And closing the door behind you with a small kick, “Let’s get you out of these clothes.” He says softly, but you wave him off.

   “I can do it myself, I’ll take a shower tomorrow.” You argued back, but his grip only got stronger. He arches a brow, you instantly decided to let him help you this once. You nod, and make your way to the bedroom. He grabs you a pair of panties, and a nightgown.

   Seeing at it was a more comfortable option, and would make it helpful to change your bandages without having to strip you.

   He later sat you on the toilet and ran the hot water of the bath, making sure to add your favorite scented bubble bath soap. You smiled weakly, for the first time at him.

   He kneels down in front of you, and pulls your shirt off and pants, his glorious wings touch the tile floor beneath him. He strips the rest of your clothing off and helps you in the bath, washing your body off with its hot water.

   He leans down to kiss your forehead, “You okay?” He asks, pouring water over your hair and scrubbing it gently with his fingertips unto your scalp with the shampoo. You don’t answer, but instead grab a handful of bubbles in your hands. Blowing them away, he pours more water over your head; and scrubs your back.

   The cuts and gashes burned in the water, but the sensation gave a small calming effect, it was something you could finally feel.

   Keigo is mindful of the wounds and only goes over them gently, cleaning off the area like instructed; earning a small hiss from you as you lean forwards in pain.

   “I know it hurts kid, but you're gonna have to endure for just a little while longer.”

   He continued to clean you off, and suddenly you felt a wave of emotions.

   Here it is, the after shock had finally dissipated and here it was, your emotions. “Keigo..” you finally say his name after so long, he stops, “Yes Angel?”

   “A-Are they really gone?”

   He didn’t know if you were asking about the people or your quirks, but one thing is certain, it was still the same answer. He nodded.

   “Yes.” He simply says.

   A tear escapes your eye, and then another, till eventually you’re full out bawling in the bathroom tub.

   Keigo is smart enough to know that anything he says, or does can not bring you back what was lost. And it killed him, so all he did was simply hold you, your wet hand gripping onto his forearm and sobbed. He knew nothing he could say would help you, so he did the next best thing: 

   He sat down, and took it. He remained quiet, and did not bring up the situation any longer: even going as far as to shield you away from hero related stuff, and would only take missions at night. Even making sure the TV was never on the news channel.

   He’d help you out of the bath and would help put back your clothes on, you cleared your throat when you noticed his eyes wandering on the wound near your gut for too long. You hated how he looked at you like some sort of sick child, you hated the way he’d constantly treat you like a porcelain teacup. He aided with your bandages and helped you towards the bed; still not uttering a single word to each other. 

   He just wrapped you in the warm sheets and left you with a blanket that smelled like him, remembering the silly arguments you’d two would get in when he cleaned the old thing. 

   Arguing, “Now you have to sleep with it cause it doesn’t smell like you anymore.” But of course he’d smile back at you and oblige to the order. 

   Now it has just provided you the small comfort of better times, he tucked you in and handed you the remote. He leans down, wiping the last of your tears with his calloused thumbs and glancing at you with a sad smile. 

   “I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner, I’ll be up in a few.” He said weakly, before standing up and heading towards the door. But you reached out for his hand, catching it at the last second. The movement made you wince, but you needed to say it. 

   “I love you, Keigo.” 

   He deserved to hear it, he needed to hear it after weeks of radio silence. 

   “I love you too, songbird.” 

*** 

   The relationship wasn’t always the healthiest, before losing your quirks the two of you would never raise your voices at one another, and swore to never lay a hand on one another. You two swore at the beginning of the relationship, that if you guys had a problem or if something was bothersome then you’d speak out about it. 

   But of course, even after being together for three years and seeing each other rise to be the hero’s you were today; the two of you found different sides of one another; sides neither of you knew existed. You never realized how scary and intimidating Hawks could be; you never realized how his eyes could darken and narrow as if a real Hawk would watch its prey. A warning sign as he glared at you from across the room.

   And he never realized how cruel you could be, just how your words could cut so deep. People say behind angry voices, lies a little bit of truth behind it. Even when you said you didn’t mean it; he also never realized how quick you were to anger. 

   Not even a week after you left the hospital, the relationship felt like the two of you were walking on eggshells. Yelling at one another, as you poured the pills down the sink. He grabbed your bruised hand roughly, and turned off the faucet. 

   It was early in the morning, too early for him to even fight, he thought. 

   “What the fuck are you doing?” He looks at you sternly, and then at the empty pill bottles you had successfully drained. 

   You remained quiet, too weak and tired. Lately all you felt was anger, you barely left the bedroom the both of you shared and you’d push away Keigo when he attempted to feed you. Turning your body around to not face him, “I’m not hungry.” You mumbled. 

   You return back to reality, his sigh of disappointment bringing you back. 

   “You can’t keep doing this! This I won’t allow, just talk to me? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours. You won’t talk to me, unless we’re arguing, you won’t eat, you won’t let me touch you. You have to talk to me, I can’t keep playing this game where you ignore your feelings and emotions and just push me to the side. I’m trying to help you-” 

   You interrupt him with a laugh, his soft eyes turn dark, he hated when you mocked him. 

   “That’s the problem Keigo. You’re helping is just a reminder of how fucking useless I am. You treat me like I’m glass, I know you do your hero work at night. You don’t have to hide it away from me. We get it, poor little Y/N, right? I never asked for your help.” 

   His grip on your wrist tightens; he looks down before glancing back up at you. 

   His gaze on your E/C eyes hardens, “Fine.” 

***

   He left you for the rest of the day, cooling off from the argument and leaving you too cool off as well. It was the first time he has left in the daylight since you were discharged. You only sat in the living room, wrapped in your blanket watching TV. Segments of heroes speeches came on, and all you could do was stare aimlessly at the silver screen. 

   The announcement was made public that you won’t be able to come back to the hero scene, explaining all the details of the incident.

   The Commission already had you booked with interviews with the press. But how could talk to them when all they’ll do is remind you of your failures as a hero.

   Like they didn’t care that you were grieving, that you weren’t the same anymore and here you are being forced to fake a smile and laugh it off as if this job meant nothing to you. Years of training to be perfect, the people you’ve saved, the people you had to kill, the families you reunited; it suddenly meant nothing. 

‘I have no reason to be here anymore.’

   What was the point of living if you weren’t the same anymore, you have nothing to lose. 

*** 

   Keigo came back in the dead of night, his lips pressed into a fine line as he wiped the look of tiredness off his face, he noticed your body laying out on the couch, your hair draped over the pillows; he crouches down in front of you. Noticing an even darker bruise on your wrist, he cringed at the memory of his tight grasp. 

   He never meant to hurt you.

   He came back with the pills you threw away, he realized without your painkillers and antibiotics that your healing process would be even more grueling. And he refused to watch. No matter how much you spit, hit, and cry; you have to take it.

***

   He had finally had enough. 

   Another two weeks passed and here you guys were, again, fighting in the kitchen. His voice rising even louder than yours, and his eyes narrow in warning. Your eyes water, and your voice trembles. 

   “Just talk to me! Please!” He begs, he pleads. 

   You stare at him blankly, and try to feel something. But there’s nothing, there’s no feeling anywhere in your body. You pull at the sleeve of your sweatshirt. 

   “I-I can’t.” 

   He tilts his head in confusion, “I don’t know how..” 

***

   “After running multiple tests and asking Y/N Y/L/N an assortment of questions, it appears that you,” The doctor in the room turns to look at your blank face, she looks at you apologetically, “Are showing signs of depression. Now there are treatments, and I’ll prescribe you some medication to help aid her during the healing process. But I do suggest therapy, and just talking more. Surround yourself with positivity.” 

   Keigo nods and thanks the doctor before she leaves the two of you alone to discuss the options. 

   He stares at the variety of pamphlets stacked in his hand, sorting through them. “We’re gonna fix this, bird. You just gotta help me help you.” He glances at you hoping for a reaction, but you shrug. “A new pill to add to the loads that I already take.” You say sarcastically, shrugging your shoulders, “Yay me.”  

***

   The relationship had its ups and down, there were times when you’d let Keigo help you, you’d also apologize for treating him poorly, But he’d just brush you off with a kiss and a simple sentence, “I’m here till the end, angel.” 

   The little blue pill had seemed to help. 

   For the first month, that is. 

   But slowly, oh so painfully slowly, you went back to your old post-accident bitchy no emotion self. Keigo would drop you off at therapy and pick you up to drop you off back home. 

   But like all good things come to an end, the somewhat normal life you were finally starting to settle into shattered, you were made to go to interviews and you’d come home crying. You were completely gone and empty. You and Kiego stopped having sex (though the last time was the night before you left for your mission), that bothered him the most. Not you not wanting him, it was your urge to be as far away from him as possible, not letting him even touch you. 

   It hurt the Pro Hero.

   Seeing as you no longer wished to even look at him; the love he had held onto slowly dissipated as time went on; like two ghosts living in an apartment full of memories. 

*** 

   You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror, noticing all the deep cuts that once scattered your skin were finally all healing, turning into light scars and the bruises were finally gone. It was as if it never happened, you sigh and turn on the shower. Setting it to the hottest setting.

   Keigo was out at work again, and you still haven’t talked to him. It ate away inside of you, it felt like you no longer had control of your body and it’s emotions.

   ‘Was it the pills?’ You thought, the doctor informed you of the possible side effects and this was definitely one of them. But you couldn’t just stop taking them, the last time you tried to throw them away it ended bad.

   You entered the shower and allowed the hot water to fall off your shoulders.

   There was something you were depriving him of.

   And you knew what it was.

   You haven’t touched him. You haven’t talked to him.

   The words I love you, haven’t left your mouth in such a long time it felt like you were forcing yourself to feel something that you couldn’t feel.

He stopped trying after a while longer, and would leave before you could wake up and came home when you were asleep. It was now a routine that he had grown accustomed to.

You wash your body with the raging thought that rushed to your brain, ‘maybe if I try.. tonight. I can’t get some sort of feeling.’ You forced.

   You rinse off the soap and dry yourself with your towel. Changing into a nightgown and making your way to your bedroom.

   You waited for Keigo to come back home.

***

   You could hear the shower head turn on and the door close shut behind him. Only briefly seeing his winged silhouette in the dark, you turned to face the door that connected your room to the bathroom. You say up and wait for him to come out, Keigo never took long showers, unless the two of you were showering together.

   Which hasn’t happened in awhile.

   He came out after a ten minute shower, in loose sweat pants and white tank. His wings falling behind him, dragging against the tile.

   He stood at the doorway when he noticed your eyes on him. He cleared his throat and refused to share eye contact with you. He couldn’t look at the shell of the woman he had so desperately fallen in love for, he could feel his heartbeat rattle against his chest.

   “Why are you up kid. It’s late.” He finally said, glancing up towards you.

   Your body is numbed by his glance, but you ignore it. It was worth a try, you had to see if what you had was still there or if it was long gone by now.

   He cocks his head to the right and relaxes his gaze, “What's wrong?”

   You remain quiet and only look at him. You point a finger at him, and curl it towards your direction.

   “C-Can you come here, please.” You whisper, he nods and slowly walks towards you, his strides are smaller than usual. His look is cautious, when he gets to the edge of the bed you get on your knees and scoot towards him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, and gazing into his eyes. You feel his hands slowly make their way to your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze.

   He looks down at the sheets, and then back at you.

“What do you need?” He asks. Eyes almost asking permission to touch you, you push aside the feeling of disgust with yourself. 

   ��You.”

***

   Your leg hooked onto his waist loosely as he pumped in and out of you, what you feared was real. It wasn’t the same anymore, it felt like nothing.

   The love behind it didn’t even feel like it existed. It just felt like you were having sex to get it over with it.

   He groans into your shoulder. Shuddering on top of you, his forearms barricade your sides. Your arm hooks over his back, with each stroke you scrunch your nose staring blanking at the ceiling over you.

   “Ouch.” You say quietly.

   It hurt more than usual.

   You yanked hard on his feathers, causing him to duck his head into your shoulder, “Don’t do that.” He warned.

   His pace increased and all you let out were small groans, still yanking at his feathers, your head up in the cloud, ignoring the annoying thoughts that floated in your head.

   His thrusts abruptly stop, “What the fuck are you doing?” He asks.

   You ignore his question, and let out another groan. Pulling again at his wings, “Okay! Stop, what the fuck are you exactly doing? You don’t wanna have sex?”

   You stare blankly at him, and pull him closer with your legs. “S-Stop! No I’m not gonna do this! I’m not gonna do this when you clearly don’t want too.”

   Again, you ignore him and try again, this couldn’t be happening. Did you really stop loving Keigo to the point your body was physically rejecting him, refusing to be aroused at the mere simplistic action that had before had you screaming out his name so loud the neighbors could it.

   You raise your hips before being met with a stern gaze and hands now pinning you to the bed.

   “Y/N stop!” He yelled, “What do you want me to do? Rape you? I’m not doing this. No, I wanna make love to you, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

   Everything.

    Your body finally allows you to look at his dark golden eyes, he was angry. And rightfully so, your body just finished telling him you didn’t love him anymore. And here you were trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal when it was.

   You hit him first, your hands slam against his bare chest. “Fuck you.” You spat.

   “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! Why can’t you ever just do something without having to ask so many damn questions huh! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I was trying to see if I still loved you!” You yelled, he slams your body into the mattress, “So you decided the best idea was to see if I could still fuck you right? Huh? You wanted me to use you even though you’re clearly in pain! Is that how you like it? When I hurt you!” He yelled, his grip on your wrist loosening and letting you go. His feathers bring you back your underwear and nightgown from the floor as his other feather brings back his clothing.

   After he quickly puts back his clothes on he turns to face you, “Honestly Y/N, the last thing I’d ever wanna do to you is hurt you. In any way shape or form, I understand you are still grieving but now you’re just being cruel. You want me to be the bad guy so bad don’t you? Fine, your wish is my command.” He glares, picking up the rest of his stuff and leaving for the night.

***

   You stopped referring Keigo to his name and started referring to him as Hawks.

   Just like he stopped acknowledging your existence at all, you followed in suit. He decided that the two of you should have space; for the sake of your relationship you agreed. Though, it would’ve been easier just to break up.

   But you knew it had to be done, your body physically was rejecting Hawks. Your mind was now thinking for its own and you had no control, all the memories somehow mysterious meant nothing to you.

   Now all the times the two of you would share a rare shower, have living room dance parties, eat dinner together on the balcony. The talks of the two of you possibly even starting a family before seemingly slipped your mind and the ring he fingered in his pocket still sat in a velvet box hidden from view.

   It was all crashing down. It’s been barely four months and now you lost your quirk, your relationship was in shambles, the pills you took seemingly increased the more you talked to your therapist, and now you sat in the living room looking for apartments across the city and far away from him.

   Eventually you found a match, it was the perfect size so you decided to place a down payment on it and move as soon as possible. He came back to the apartment before you moved out, he avoided you, but sometimes you’d catch the sense of his eyes wandering over you.

   You packed your bags, folded your clothes, and took everything that was yours.

   “Look, I just think, if we weren’t in the same place and took time for ourselves we could.. be better.” You said, scratching the back of your neck sheepishly as he eyed you down as if you were prey from the end of the hall. He crosses his arms over his chest, “Do you still love me?” He asked curtly. It was a simple yes or no question, he needed to know, the timer was running out.

   You wanted to simply say no, not anymore. Because then that would be the truth, but your body wouldn’t let you say it. You look at the coffee table, and see a picture frame of the two of you, “I-I don’t know Hawks.” Your grip tightens on your suitcases handle.

   “Do you still love me?” You ask. Gripping your suitcase even tighter.   “I don’t know, either.” He sighs, a sad smile paints his face. His eyes water as he looks down to the tile floor, his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. It was an intimate moment for the two of you, filled with raw emotion. You were given the privilege to see Hawks in such vulnerable moments for the past three years despite his training, when it was about you, he'd drop all the walls he built just for you.

   You couldn’t help but wipe a tear yourself, it was a confusing time for you.   He glances up at you, glossy eyes sparkling in the light. “I don’t really want to do this.”

   You nod, and hold in a choke sob, “This is just as hard for me as it is for you, but we need time apart. We need to be separate for a while and see new people. I-I hate the idea-“  

   “So why are we doing this!”

    You sigh, “Because, we can't even look at each other without raising our voices. I wanted to be able to love you the way you need to be loved, and for three years I did.”

   You look down towards your feet, chewing your bottom lip.

   “I loved you more than anything, Hawks. But right now. We shouldn’t be together.”

   Keigo doesn’t face you, he crosses his arms over his chest. “So that’s it? We’re breaking up?We’re separating.”

   “Yes.”

   He shrugs as his hand goes to cover his mouth, his lips pressing into a line, he sends feathers to open the front door and help you with your bags. They follow you to the front door and out, Hawks gives you one last look from the doorway, and waves you goodbye.

 ***

   It had been three months since your move to the new apartment, and you saw improvements in your life. You attended therapy and soon dropped all your pills, noticing you didn’t need them anymore since you were physically healed.

   After much pleading and much needed talking, you finally were able to slowly get off the antidepressants. Your therapist had made a discovery as to why you may have been having erratic mood changes, the hero commission had still paid your therapy and bills and eventually you were given a job to teach at UA High as a science teacher (due to your incredible skills and hands on learning from your quirk, and besides it came naturally to you), you were also teaching kids how to master their quirks, joining the group of teachers that would teach the next generation of heroes.

   Life was starting to get back on track, you even bought a dog. It was out of the spur of the moment, you decided to adopt a little dog and named it Birby after walking by the nearby shelter and seeing him wag his tail in joy, attempting to grab your attention.

   Hawks would occasionally pay a visit to you, and catch up. The two of you decided that during the separation it would be best to at least make time to see each other one day out of the week.

   He’d stop by every Thursday during your lunch break, he helped you grade papers and even met your dog when he came over to your apartment. Which ended with him playing on the floor with the pup the entire evening.

   It was a healthy separation.

   “I’m glad you’re doing much better, you’re smiling like you used to.” He said, in between laughs as he cooed at the dog. You stick your tongue out at him and continue to grade papers.

   “Oo a smiley face, let me guess the kid got an A?” Hawks guessed, suddenly appearing by your side. You nod and hand him a stack with an answer key and blue and red colored markers.

    “Correct you are Hawks, my class rarely fails which means I’m a good teacher.” You applauded yourself, he lets out a laugh.

   “Ha! I bet the only reason those kids pay attention is because they got a hot teacher. Hell I’d stay after school if it meant more time.” He joked, adding check marks to the correct answers and grading the papers accordingly, he’d even put a smile on the page like you.

   You stay silent, it was like it all hit you at once that you and Hawks were separated. The thought had slipped your mind, it wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate it coming from him, but it was the fact that you guys haven’t spoken about each other like that. He senses the tension and cocks an eyebrow at you, “You're doing it again.”

   You scoff, “What do you mean I’m doing it again? What am I doing?”

   He points and waves the marker near your face, “The face you make when you're thinking about something really deep.” He says, before going back to grading. You place the pile of graded papers on your coffee table and turn towards him. He catches your gaze before placing his pile beside yours.

   “Why are you looking at me like that?”

   You wave your hands in front of your face defensively as he inches closer to you, “N-No it’s nothing! It’s just-“

   He scoffs, “Are you seriously mind fucked because I said you’re hot? Damn, I know we’re in separation and stuff but if I wanna call you hot I’m gonna call you hot.”

   You wave your hands even more and slap them on your cheeks, “Hawks!-“

   “That’s not my name.”

   You roll your eyes, “I don’t say your name anymore because of how personal it is too you-“

   “And what? It makes you sound like all the rest, I allowed you to know my name for a reason. I don’t just hand it out to whoever. Again, just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean you can’t call me by my name.” He says, leaning back into your couch. You sigh in defeat, he was right.

   “Soooo, Y/N, it’s been awhile since you’ve really talked to me. You haven’t told me much, so how’s the dating life?” He asks.

   A frown appears on his face and you mentally facepalm yourself. ‘Way to get to the damn point.’   Keigo would only ever visit on Thursdays, which was part of the reason why he looked forward to Thursday’s. But even after you moved out, you guys remained close seeing as it would be impossible to forget one another and just called the split a separation though it was truly a break up. You never really opened up to him when he came over, during your lunch breaks he’d just help around and listen to your complaints about “How will this even prepare them in life? I don’t even fucking use this!” As you looked over your lesson plans.   He’d admire you from afar, and watch you. He cringed each time you called him Hawks, but still carried on with life. You just never really told him about what was going on like you used to.

  “Keigo,” you say, earning a smile from the winged hero, “There’s nobody, I don’t really wanna get into another relationship.” You mumble, he shrugs.

   “How about you? How’s the dating game?” You ask, crossing your legs.   He arches a brow at you and almost laughs, “I don’t got time for another chick, not in my interest surprisingly.” You nod, and squint at him.

   “I’m sure you are busy, bird boy.”

   A silence falls in between the two of you, creating an almost awkward tension in the air. You clear your throat, hoping he’d say something. But he doesn’t, he just grabs the pile of papers off the coffee table and continues to grade.

   “What have you been up to, since you’ve moved here.” He asks, finally looking up to meet your eyes.

   “I-I well, I go to therapy twice a week, I finally dropped all my pills, I got a job, I got my dog, that’s really it Keigo.” You said, shrugging your shoulders and giving a content sigh, you looked around your place and crossed your arms.

   He nodded and smiled, “You stopped your pills?” He asks excitedly, it was a huge milestone and a big deal to him, and you understood why; the pills drained you and drain who you were as a person. It was just time to finally let them go. 

  “yup.”

   A grin plastered his face. He looked like he was proud, “I’m so happy for you, Y/N.” You thank him, and glance at his eyes. It’s been awhile since you looked at his eyes, which only reminded you of something you’ve been meaning to speak to him about.

   “Keigo,” you grab his attention as he arches a brow, “I was wondering, I know this is sudden but I want you to know that at the time I couldn’t be with you because I was scared I didn’t love you anymore, I know we’re still in a tough spot but.. I want to at least try again.”

   A silence falls between you two, he smirks after a couple seconds.   “You wanna give this relationship thing another try?” He asks, widening his grin. You smile back, “Yes. But I think the only way we’re gonna survive this is with counseling. We can’t just jump back in like when we first started dating.” You say, it was a good option.

   There were still things left unsaid, sometimes old rotten memories would come up, it wasn’t going to be easy, and you finally came to terms that if it wasn’t him. Then it wasn’t anybody else.

   The best idea was to have a mediator.   He agrees with you and you notice his wings twitch slightly, he was happy. And so were you.

***

   “Now, before we start our first session I wanna make sure what my chart says is indeed true,” The counselor states, she crosses her legs and pulls at her glasses; adjusting them.

   Keigo sits on one side of the couch meanwhile you sit on the other end, your palms are sweating in nervousness.

   “Is it true that the two of you are in a state of separation currently? Meaning that you two no longer live together or see one another on a daily basis?”

   You both answer, “Yes ma’am.”

   “Alright, is it true that the both of you have been in a relationship for three years?”

   Again, the both of you nod and answer, “Yes, ma’am”   The middle aged woman claps her hands, flipping through her chart. “Alrighty you two, I usually start my counseling with a series of questions of basic getting to know you two, before we can truly get to the root of the problem.” You both nod in understanding, your hands clammy as they rub together.

   “Now, Hawks, may you please retell the story of how you two met in the first place.” She smiles pointing at him with a pen. “It usually helps remind the clients why they fell in love in the first place.”

    He clears his throat, “Well, I met Y/N when I was twenty years old, she worked for another agency at the time and I first heard of her when I realized she was climbing the hero charts pretty fast. We met at a Heroes Convention and she was wearing a red dress. The whole night I kept looking at her and eventually I introduced myself, a week later we found ourselves on the scene in a villain attack together, and I just asked her on a date. She said no,”

   You laugh at the memory, he looked so rejected but instead of taking the no and dropping it, he’d asked every time you met till you finally said yes.

   “She said yes after asking her twenty times.”

   The counselor nods, opening her mouth to ask another question, “Who said I love you first?” She asks.

   You answer this time, “Hawks, we had been dating for a month and he blurted it out when I was in the shower.”

   Ah yes, he was ranting about something while you showered when he said, “I hope you know I love you, because if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be sane.” You had peeked your head out slowly pulling back the curtains and stared him down. Stumbling on your words as a warm blush creeped onto your neck.

   “Say that again?” You asked him, he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

   “I love you?”

   “Yeah, say it again,” you smiled at him. Nodding for him to continue; “I love you.” He said it more confidently, you gave him a peck on the cheek and retreated you head back into the shower; “I love you too, birdbrain.”

   It was a beautiful memory that you had forgotten, and now, it came back in a lightning strike. As if talking about it opened a whole cabinet of memories in your mind with him.

   You had blamed him and treated him like nothing during that cold turmoil time in the relationship. Who knew the two of you would end up in an office trying to revive it.

   Doctor Marie (the counselor) nodded, and proceeded to ask questions of the relationship.

   “When did you two notice the relationship was coming to an end, in other words when and why did you guys decide to separate?”

   That was a very loaded question.

   It struck a nerve in you as you clutch onto the hem of your skirt. The two of you didn't respond nor answers.

   Keigo simply said, “After her accident she started to take a boatload of pills but we didn’t know of the side effects. Not to mention she lost her quirk and Y/N really did cherish her quirk, that with also losing lives,” he mutter yet continued when you nodded for him to keep going. “It was a boat load of things, but I genuinely think for me we separated because we couldn’t handle it anymore. Every time I’d try to help her, or talk to her it just ended up in a screaming match. I loved her so much, but it’s hard to love somebody and be happy when the person doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

   He turns to face you, nodding that it was your turn.

   You sigh, “Well for me.. I was jealous of Hawks.” You say, it was true it was a feeling you hated. You felt like a stupid schoolgirl when that feeling over powered you, it was the first time you admitted it. “I was jealous because he still had his quirk, he still had everything. And every time he helped me it felt like he was treating me like a fragile porcelain doll he found from a vintage store. He’d look at me like a wandering puppy, and then on top of that it was like my head was just clouded with nothing. I started taking so many pills for pain, depression, sleep, you name it. Pretty irresponsible on my part, but I let it take over me to the point my body was just physically rejecting him. All I wanted to do was just leave and not have to face him anymore. And it hurt. Hawks was my first everything, we always talked. But now, or may I say then, it felt like he wouldn’t understand.” You confess.

   Doctor Marie nods and takes notes on her small pad, “Interesting, when you say your body felt like it was physically rejecting Hawks what do you mean by that?” She asks.

   You shrug sinking deeper into the couch, “I didn’t wanna see him, feel him, smell him.. touch him.” Your voice trailed off, it made your stomach churn.

   “How’s that make you feel Hawks?”

   Again, very loaded question.

   Keigo shook his head, racking up his thoughts before he spoke, “I-I felt shitty, like I was doing something wrong. I use to go to work and think I was missing a step, it wasn’t the fact that she didn’t wanna touch me that bothered me, I understand at that time sex can’t fix everything. But when the person who shared everything with you just doesn’t even want your presents around them anymore - it hurts. It made me feel like she didn’t love me anymore. There was a time I didn’t even love her, I couldn’t look at Y/N in the same light.”

   Your heart broke as you stared at the mahogany desk in front of you.   The whole session was filled with more questions, some going ever deeper till eventually it was over.The sessions were two times a week, and it got easier for the two. Slowly their relationship fell back in place, but the house they shared once felt different.

   The first time you stepped back into Keigo’s apartment you had to stop yourself. Looking back at the kitchen sink where most of your fights occurred, you dropped your bag off at the door.The place was filled with good and bad memories. But it was the bad memories that infested the place, eating away at the beautiful ones. And reminding the two of you why you hated each other.The both of you agreed on moving after couples therapy ended.

***

   You hug your old hero costume tightly to your chest, the fabric nuzzled up into your neck as your racked sobs fill the nearly empty bedroom of your apartment. Birby nuzzled at your feet whining.

    “Songbird are you - babe are you okay?” Keigo rushed to your side, and held you close. Noticing your costume in your quivering arms, as you started to slowly calm down he reaches for the costume with a concerning look, quietly asking for you to hand it over to him. You push the fabric lightly into his hands and wipe away your tears. “If it makes you feel better we can put it in a nice box full of other things, you can always look back at it. Or if it’s too much we can-“ you interrupt him and give him a reassuring smile. Your hand clutching onto his, rubbing small circles around his knuckles. “Throw it away. I had to come to terms that it’s over, I’m not crying because of my hero days being over. I’m just mourning the people I couldn’t save. That’s all babe.” You give him a peck on the cheek  and a gentle squeeze on his hand.

   A box full of those memories would simply just be a painful reminder, besides, being a hero was in the past for you. Now, you were entrusted with teaching the new generation of heroes.

    You feel his strong arms tighten around you.

 ***

   Time passed and the two of you eventually moved in all of your belongings and furniture from the old apartment.

    Now laying breathlessly beside one another underneath the cool bed sheets covered with sweat, slick and cum. This was the first time in a longtime, the two of you made love to one another. Breaking in the headboard against the wall, you wince at his touch.

    “Keigo..”

    “Our neighbors are gonna hate us in the morning.” He chuckles, a small smile grazing your lips. You allow his finger to trace circles over your shoulder blades, allowing them to wander over the small bruises that littered the base of your neck. “They probably already know your real name..” You giggle, pecking his lips. “That's bad.. because then I’d have to kill them.” He reminds you of the strict rules he must follow, but he was mainly joking. He made sure to find a place with soundproof walls.

    “Well, I’m sure you're right..” You feel his fingers run down to the curve of your thighs, stopping in between your legs. “Fuck..” You moan into his shoulder, “Fuck, songbird. I wanna hear you sing that song even louder. So wet for me, still so tight.” He growls into your ear.

    It had been so long since the two had any sort of intimacy, you apologized deeply to him.

    “I’m never gonna leave you again, Kid. It’s always going to be you.”

 ***

   Months passed and your relationship was now at its best, you smiled as he eagerly kissed your cheek.

    “Whoa birdbrain! What’s the hype.” You giggled as he lips peppered down our face, he only smiled and showed off his back. Pointing his thumbs at the now small wings, you gasped. “Kei! What the fuck happened!?” You exclaimed, he brushes you off and picks you by the thighs. “No time, don’t worry about it. No wings means shower sex!” He cheers, rushing towards the nearest bathroom. You sigh, throwing your arms around his shoulders.

    “Why can’t we just have a peaceful shower instead.”

    He stops and gently places you down on the bathroom counter, stepping back from between your legs and reaching down to the hem of his shirt, pulling the black and yellow fabric off. He looks like he is thinking when he smiles and kisses your forehead, “Tomorrow?”

    Holding out a pinky for shower sex, you smile back at him, wrapping your pinky around his. “I promise tomorrow.” You begin to strip off your clothes for the day, watching as he turns on the shower head, tapping at the modes and setting the temperature to hot.

   Later on as you feel his hands run through the roots of your hair you feel the sense of calmness, smiling and humming at his actions. You start to feel a tickle in your nose, “Babe. I’m gonna sneeze..” You warn, who knew a sneeze would be so... deadly that day.

    In a matter of seconds the electricity in the apartment complex went out, and the water short circuited. Keigo stood behind you, dazed at the sudden shock.

    “Babe! I’m so sorry!” You apologized, tugging at his puffed hair. He laughed in shock, before stuttering out the words, “Y-your q-q-quirk.. paid a-a v-visit.” You gave a weak laugh, wrapping a towel around him and you as well.

    “Guess it did.”

 ***

   You made a doctor's appointment for the next day and was told indeed your quirk came back, that the possible medication had something to do with it’s delay. But you were also given extra news; you were expecting.

    You smiled down at your tummy awaiting for Keigo to come back from his agency, though he was out of commission still didn’t mean he didn’t have work. He came back through the door with a smile, “So songbird, what’d they say.”

    He pecks your cheek pulling off his jacket and gloves, “Well they said that the lab results do say that it’s positive that my quirk came back, it also says that it decided to probably show up now because I off all those medications and don’t have much stress anymore from after the accident. They themselves don;t know exactly how, initially the reports stated  that there were no signs of my quirk. So I must be lucky!”

    “Well that’s great! That means you can come back and kick some ass again!” He cheers walking towards the kitchen, though he still wasn’t keen on the idea of just throwing you out to the public again. Because you worked at his agency before he’d probably have you doing small work. He couldn’t lose his songbird again.

    You shook your head though, “Actually, I think I might just fully retire from all hero work. And stick to teaching, besides the doctor says it wouldn’t be good for the baby.” You grin, hoping he’d catch your drift.

    He stopped dead in his tracks, processing your words. And slowly turning back to face you, a huge grin plastered on his face.

    “It wouldn’t be good for the baby. You’re pregnant?”

    You nod, “Three weeks along. Besides, I love my job teaching, I just love my kids.”

    He runs out to you and engulfs you in a large hug, you feel tears start to stain your shirt. Your hand caressing his soft hair, running your fingers through his locks to calm him, “I thought I lost you.” His words tremble, you smile softly. “Never.” 

BONUS:

Five years later…

    “Alright kids! Have a good weekend, I’ll see you all tomorrow!” Y/N exclaimed, waving goodbye to her students for the weekend. She pulls out her chair from behind her desk, finishing up her work, when she hears the click of her door opening. The person behind it seemed to be having trouble opening the door, cocking a brow and tilting her head to the right, she smiles.

   “You need help?” 

   She grins when small feathers appear, and a small five year old boy waddles in. A bouquet of flowers covering his face, as he makes his way towards his mom.

    “No mommy, I got it! We got you flowers!”

    You gasp, “Oh baby! Thank you, what are you doing here? I thought you were still at school?” She gathers the flowers out of his small hands and admires the boy, he was a blessing. With his father's quirk, and hair, even his eyes. He was a carbon copy of your husband (That’s right the two got married after the birth of their son) and oh how much you loved the two of them.

    “Daddy picked me up early because I had a tummy ache, and then he gave me medicine when we got home and now I feel better! So we decided to get you flowers and visit you!” He grins, sipping from his red sippy cup in his hand. Drinking away at the juice his father poured for him, Y/N grins, “Well where’s daddy now?”

   At that exact moment, in appeared her husband. Opening the door to her classroom once more and placing a small kiss to her forehead. “Hey bird.” He grins picking up his kid and balancing him on his hip, “We missed mommy so we came to see you.” He pouts, earning a giggle from the boy.

    “I missed my boys too.”

    “Mommy! Daddy even taught me how to fly, he dropped me off the balcony and at first I was falling-” 

   Keigo’s eyes bugged nearly out of his head, placing his gloved hand over his son's mouth. Muffling his words, “Well! Would you look at that! It’s time for us to leave, sorry we gotta cut this short-”

    “YOU THREW MY SON OFF A SEVENTY FOOT BALCONY BY HIMSELF!?”

     “He was fine!” 

[unknown-writing]

The boys reacting to their s/o pulling themselves out of a Bad Depressive Relapse:

Warning(s): Mentions of depression, Intrusive thoughts, self-destructive behavior’s

A/N: I’m very proud of myself for pulling myself out of my bad depressive relapse episode this morning so, it’s time to write some comfort!

This man is pretty dense when it comes to dealing with other people’s internal suffering tbh.

Like, unless your outwardly showing signs of pain, he won’t fully get it.

He noticed that you were...Not your usual self for a while. A long while at that, it started to worry him that you weren’t laughing with him anymore for that period of your slump.

But, one morning, an early morning that is, you had snuck out of your room that you shared with the girls to find Luffy for some much needed Cuddling.

Ever so quietly moving towards his bed, you slowly climbed in. Him feeling movement on top of him startled him awake but, he kept quiet.

Seeing that you were the one crawling in his bed, literally made him have the biggest grin on his dorky face you’ve ever seen.

“Welcome back y/n-san” He whispered as he pulled you in for a tighter cuddle session, you couldn’t help but chuckle but, you kept quiet to avoid waking the other boys.

Soon enough, it was morning, and the rest of the crew saw that you two were finally cuddling again after your depressive slump.

Nami so took a picture with the Camera-snail for blackmail evidence to tease you with.

Seeing you severely depressed drove him Mad.

Not because he was mad /at you/ But because he was mad at /himself/ for not noticing it sooner than he should have.

Robin tried telling him about your depressive slump but, Zoro was completely clueless on what she was getting at.

“My y/n? Depressed? Why? She looks perfectly fine to me.”

That line was a big mistake on his part since you accidentally heard that, which sort of drove you over the edge again

Ngl, it took him quite a while for him to start making it up to you again after that night. His guilty conscious refused to let him rest peacefully until things where settled between you two again

Weeks went by, and even though most of the Straw Hats assumed you where still depressed, Zoro sensed otherwise.

It seemed like to him that you were finally starting to shed your light again, even if it was a slow start at first.

One day though, while the two of you were on grocery duties to help Sanji since he took the role of guard duty this round. You grabbed his arm and hugged it tightly.

it startled him at first because he thought he was being kidnapped or something, but once he saw that you had just grabbed onto it and acted so casually about it

This mans started to blush a pink hue. A brief silenced filled the air between you two before he spoke up,

“...Y/n-san....” He paused before turning towards you, “Is everything ok now? And I don’t mean that fake bullshit ‘Ok’ either...” he asked while looking concerned

You looked up to him, with the biggest smile he’d ever seen. Even if it was a small one, the fact that you smiled again after so long of not smiling, it drove him Wild.

“Yeah...........Yeah.......Everything’s gonna be ok now.” You started off before holding his hand firmly, “I have my Nakama...And I have you by my side. So, I’m no longer alone anymore.” You smiled again while looking up to Zoro, who still had the blush but, a genuine smile back

“That’s my girl.” Zoro just says while bending down to give you a quick peck on the forehead, which made you blush a deep crimson red seeing as you two were in public still.

Okay but, you /KNOW/ this idiot is gonna think it’s his fault your depressed.

He’ll constantly blame himself for your sadness, as it’s not something that could be easily cured with affection or food.

He’s even more sad when he can’t dote on you so much because it makes you feel even worse.

You have to keep reminding him that this was just how your brain worked sometimes.

It wasn’t until Nami and Chopper explaining it to him properly, is when he started to finally understand that some people just feel down and needed some space for a bit.

Even when he was giving you your personal space, he still made you your favorite foods, making sure that you had stuff to drink and eat even if you were cooped up in your bedroom for a long time.

He won’t admit it directly but, he genuinely misses you. He misses your smell, your touch, your face, your body, your everything.

He especially misses the way you can easily fluster him and make him feel like a King, but he’ll deny those feelings if you asked him though.

A couple of month’s had gone by of this depressive state of yours. it was starting to take a mental tole on himself, knowing that you were stuck in those same four walls, missing everything that was happening, being unable to help you at all during this.

Just as he was about to head towards the sleeping cabin area to drop off your next meal, he’d noticed that your door was slightly open. He blinked, confused and worried that somebody had tried sneaking inside of it somehow.

But soon enough, you had popped out, yawning as you’d just woken up that morning. Nothing had harmed you physically from the looks of it, he looked up and down for a while before placing the food tray on a nightstand to avoid spilling the food.

You turn after hearing the tray clink against the wooden surface, “Oh? Morning Sanji-sa--Ouf!” You where cut off from a tackle hug.

Sanji had wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding you so close to him you were practically choking on his hair. “S-Sanji?? Is everything alright?” You asked, patting his back gently

Your eyes widened as the next thing he did was give you a big passionate kiss on your lips. You felt salty fluids on his face. “Oh.” You thought as you realized what was happening

“I missed you so fucking much y/n-chan.” Sanji says after the kiss. Hearing him say that so bluntly made /you/ turn red-faced and start to stutter.

“....Yeah....I missed you too Sanji-san.” You admitted while smiling again after so long of not showing your smile to anybody. Poor Sanji nearly fainted.

Law knew something was off about you even before you realized it yourself.

You were grumpy, snippy, more “tired” than normal. You had constant mood swings that showed up out of the blue. Everything was just...Off.

It didn’t take much for him to realize that you were dealing with Depression. Although he knew very little of your past, he knew that something was eating at you.

Once your downward spiral of your mental suffering began, you stayed in your bedroom for the majority of the time, refusing to go out even if it was for a general meeting for a mission, or even for food.

Law wasn’t the best at communicating his own feelings towards somebody, so helping his crush with her depression was a little bit harder to do than he thought.

He didn’t realize that you would get so bad that you just woke up absolutely /screaming/ at the top of your lungs during a nightmare. The only reason he knew what was happening was because Bepo went to drop off some food for you, and then ran once he heard the screaming.

After a while of some studying on Depression, Law tried everything that he could to at least /try/ to get you to speak with him...But, after a few weeks of this, he started to get tired of chasing you.

“Y/n-ya...At least let me check for injuries.” He said as he sat on the floor, leaning against your bedroom door with a frown....No response.

He could hear silent sobbing and hiccups behind him, which hurt because he didn’t know how to help you! it drove him Mad!

He was about to give up, sighing in irritation. As he started to walk away, he heard the bedroom door start to click open. You peaked your head out tiredly, face stained with dried and fresh tears, your face all red from not just crying but from stress as well.

Seeing you so Broken hurt him. He’s been there before, he’d never wish to see his friends be broken like this...Let alone his crush.

You opened the door wider so that way he could come in, “...sorry....For the mess...” You weakly spoke, allowing him to enter your room.

Once the two of you were in your room, you had shut the door, then locked it behind you...Eventually turning to face Law, the next moved startled him

You were so tired from the depression night terrors, the screaming, the crying and well...Everything else...That you just fainted into his arms! “Y-Y/n-ya??” He questioned as he stood still. No response...Well, nothing with words anyways. A soft snore leaked passed your slightly open mouth

You had fallen asleep, quite literally in his arms. And he didn’t know how to handle it. You were his crush after all! What was he supposed to do!? Move you away!? Fuck.

He calmed down and carried you bridal style in his arms, thanking God that you were a heavy sleeper, and shuffled his way onto your messy bed, kicking his shoes off at least before getting comfortable.

Another week had passed since that night, and throughout that week, law would give orders to Bepo and Penguin to take control of the ship while he stayed put. he would only move to take a piss/shit or a quick shower before rushing to your side again. He’d forgo the shower if waking you would cause you to feel alone and start crying again.

Once that week had passed though, you had woken up to feel a body underneath you. Blinking, you were confused as to what was happening. You then blushed a deep crimson red seeing Law underneath you, holding you so tightly to him that you could hardly breathe properly because of it.

Law had woken up after feeling your movements to try and get out of bed and take a shower, since you hadn’t taken a proper one in the past three weeks due to your depressive state hitting you like a two ton truck.

You then felt an arm snake around your lower waste, pinning you down of sorts, which made you jump a bit and turn to see who’s it was. Only to see Law wide awake and looking upwards at you

A brief silence filled the room before Law had spoke. “Y/n-ya......You’re Ok.” he says quietly, trying not to startle you...Soon, the memories of what you went through during your depressive state had hit you. You saw everything that happened. And then you saw that Law had tried his hardest to get you to feel ok.

You started to cry again, which made him frown in worry, only to . be taken aback by the sudden tackle hug you were doing, “Law!” You kept muttering in between your hiccupped sobs as you held him.

All Law did was rub your head gently and held you close to him again. He didn’t know how to respond. “....You saved me.....” You commented, now hovering over him with a shaky smile.

Those words. Those three single words made his heart melt with pure happiness. A feeling he hasn’t had in a LONG while. Despite the fact that he hated being called a Hero, if he could save /you/ from death? Then he’ll take being called a Hero by you any day.

You just kept hiccupping as you cried of happiness, but that was easily silenced with Law’s next action. You felt Law’s rougher lips against your own, which easily made you stop crying. He broke the kiss after a while and smiled back, “...I’m glad that your Ok y/n-ya.” he says before pulling you down for another kiss

[backstagepaige]

Five More Minutes.

Synopsis: Y/n can’t come to terms with the fact she’s lost more than just her boyfriend.

Not my gif all credit to the owner!!

Warnings: !!!!!!!!!!AOT SEASON 4 SPOILERS!! PLEASE DNI IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED!!!!!!!! Guns and cursing too!

Pairings: Eren Yeager x Shifter!Reader; Platonic!Sasha x Shifter!Reader

Word count: 2,514

Author: @backstagepaige please do NOT repost my work anywhere without elicit permission from myself. This took me a bit to write and I’d appreciate it if credit was given where its due

Authors Note: So I’ve had this written since a few days after my potato girls death and I needed a way to cope with it - @sleepysnk was able to convince me to post it cause Sum is a beautiful soul and gave me all kinds of affirmations to hype me up so here you guys go! Go check out her work while you’re at it because it is so top tier, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

I panted as I leaned against the wall, we were all in the blimp. My mind was silent and the sounds of everyone talking were muffled as I kept my eyes closed trying to rid the images of all those innocent people dying- all of those Children. I gulped as I shook my head, the screams I heard ringing in my ears on a constant loop- had it stopped or were those screams on the ground I was hearing? Were they from all these years finally piling together instead of echoing in the back of my mind?

“Y/n? Did you hear that?" Sasha called and I let my eyes creak open and looked to the door not seeing anything as Jean began talking, I pushed myself up, making sure to pull my gun out just incase and walked to peak over the ledge when a Gabi rolled over and quickly cocked a gun - eye squinted as she looked down the barrel. I raised my gun at her just as she pulled the trigger, a swift sharp pain flashing through me as the gun fell from my hand. I choked and stubbled back a bit but kept my footing another blur of a figure rolled over the edge and tackled Gabi to the side, screams erupted around me as my comrades ran forward and quickly kicked and punched the kids. I let my gaze fall to my chest and watched the way blood poured out of the little flower of skin that was puffed open and blooming as if it were spring. Chocking back a laugh, I let my head fall back to look at the ceiling; If only it were that easy kiddo I thought thinking of every time I had been injured and how every time I healed. It was a blessing and a curse, being able to live on normally despite being lethally injured yet having no power to save the ones you care for that were falling around you. The thought reminded me of a conversation Eren and I had back all those years ago, the want- no- the need to save every one no matter the cost, that hadn’t aged well in retrospect.

“I-I’m okay, guys seriously. I’ll be ok-”My eyes widened as I turned around my hands beginning to shake at the sight of Sasha on the floor, eyes vacant as she looked off somewhere. When did that happen? I thought as I reached a hand to my back slowly I poked and prodded till I felt my finger pass through where my skin should have been on my back, the pain flickering like sparks lighting a fire but it was nothing compared to the burning in my eyes. “Sasha?" I whispered, ignoring the fatigue attacking my eyes as steam bellowed from my wounds. Connie and Jean were yelling something but it fell on deaf ears as I took hesitant steps towards her When had the screaming stopped? I looked down at her as Jean looked up at me waiting for me to say something, his mouth was opening and the vein on his neck looked like it was ready to burst; I was so close to him yet I couldn’t hear a thing he was saying- It was like he was miles away from me with a hand over his mouth as he shouted. I ignored the pang in my knees as I fell to the floor and gently grabbed Sasha’s cheeks to turn her head so she could look up at us. My knees were getting warmer by the second and I glanced down to see the pool of blood I was resting in - Is that mine? Or is it Sasha’s?   “Sasha this isn’t funny... Get up...Get up now!" I whispered not trusting my own voice to fall on her ears the same way Jean and Connie’s were falling on mine.

“You’re so...Damn loud...”She wheezed eyes still vacant as I quickly moved my hands to push against the hole in her chest, hating the way my fingers slicked with warm blood. “Meat...Is the food...Not here yet?” She asked and I growled angrily putting more pressure on her wound.

“You’re worried about the food? Jean, Connie! Get her up now, We gotta plug this up and stop the bleeding!” I screamed at them as tears flooded down their cheeks, “What are you waiting for? Hurry up!” I whirled on the kids being held by other cadets as they took her away. I shoved through and grabbed Gabi by her throat and lifted her, chokes sputtering as I clamped my hand tightly around her feeling the sick love of feeling each breath she took and each beat of her heart against my fingers.

“Lieutenant!” I heard vaguely from behind me but squeezed tighter, Gabi’s hands reaching up to scratch at my own and leaving little rivets that beaded with blood.

“If she dies, I swear I’ll enjoy every second of chewing on your bones!” I growled in her face watching as she noticed the scars on my cheeks and forehead and as if she finally put it together, her eyes widened and her thrashes seemed to become more violent as she tried to spit out a response.

“Sh-Shifter?” She gargled, blood pooling out of her mouth and mixing with Sasha’s. I pulled her forward and smashed her back, enjoying the soft crunch of her skull against the ship before throwing her to the floor and turning to everyone. “Bring the little bitch to lock up. Him too, He saved her.” I growled spinning on my heel and walking down the hall. They were all with Eren, They needed to know what happened. She couldn’t die on me, she wouldn’t do that to Connie, Jean and I. What a selfish thing to do, to leave us in such a way. I pushed the door open and growled at the sight of the long haired male seated and dressed as one of them, the man that had killed the love of my life, the man that had inadvertently killed my best friend. I noted the way Jean went rigid sand knew he had already told everyone, the way their faces had fallen and looked just as they had when any other one of our comrades had passed - but Sasha hadn’t passed and she wouldn’t. Rage boiled in my belly as Eren kept his eyes trained on the floor, I swiftly avoided Jean and dodged his arm as he reached for me knowing what was running through my mind because I’m sure it ran through his. I swung my fist loving the fiery pain that erupted across my hand as it made contact with Eren's face, his hair that had grown out so much in these years whipping around as he did nothing to defend himself.

“This is your fault! All of this is your fault!” I shouted again as I grabbed his head and slammed it against my knee, the feeling of him not fighting back infuriating me. I wanted him to react, I needed him to show me something! Happiness, Anger, Sadness, fucking anything! Yet there he sat, wiping his nose as a small trickle of blood slid down his smooth skin, pieces of his long hair clinging to the flow. “Fucking fight back!” I cried feeling the tears finally fall down my cheeks.

“Y/n! What is going on- Is that blood? Were you shot too?” I froze with my fist in the air as Hanji asked the question, my breath hitching in my throat. Blinking harshly, I stumbled back and shook my head looking back down to my chest. As if a bucket of iced water was dumped on my head, I quickly spun around and ran out of the room. I ignored the other scouts as I ran and rounded the corners, halls blurring.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What was that all about?” Hanji asked looking between everyone in the room, flashes of a hole in Y/n’s chest flickering in their minds and the way Jean opened his mouth to reply, “The bullet went through y/n and ended up in Sasha.” Eren ignored the way his face throbbed and kept his eyes on the floor, avoiding the looks of everyone in the room. Levi opened his mouth to reply when a piercing scream ripped through the soft hum of the ship's engines. Everyone quickly went on alert and readied their weapons as more screams filled the air, yet when Connie pushed the door open with tears streaming down his cheeks everyone froze.

“Sasha...Is dead.”

~~~~~~~~~

Mikasa and Armin were sobbing around me as I held Sasha close to me ignoring the way her blood bleed through the bandages and soaked my shirt, the hands wrapped around her tightly holding her head to me. My throat burned with screams and wails as tears finally rolled down my cheeks, I didn’t care how long I would be sitting here but I’d sit here as long as it took for her to wake up. She was going to wake up and I was going to give her all the meat she wanted no matter the cost.

“Y/n... It’s time.” Levi whispered as I held Sasha closer and shook my head, tears falling against her cheek, my grip was gonna leave bruises- she was gonna kill me when she woke up to that. Mikasa and Armin were no longer next to me, when had they left? Why would they leave when she was gonna wake up?

“I can’t, I don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up.” I choked, pushing her bangs behind her ear as I rocked her gently back and forth. A gasp escaped Levi and I kept my eyes on her face, I had shifted to her side to use my right arm to hold her back as my left hand was reached up to hold her cheek as I wiped my tears off and the blood spilling from her lips her face.

“She... She’s gone y/n, Her body is cold, she’s not in it anymore.” Levi said crouching down on the other side of me and I froze, No? Sasha was here, I was holding her. If she wasn’t here I couldn’t be holding her. I wasn’t going to listen to this when she was clearly okay, Sasha was okay.

“But... But If I keep holding her I can keep her warm?” My lip wobbled as I finally tore my eyes away from my best friend's face and looked up at Levi, his eyes bubbling with unshed tears something that I had not seen but a number of times. I licked the salt from my lips and looked back down at her, my chest felt like it was caving in with each word he spoke. 

Another voice pulled me from my stupor as I glanced up through blurred vision to see Hanji gripping the door frame tightly, “It’s okay y/n, It’s time to let her go.” I gasped at their words and shook my head fiercely baring my teeth as I squeezed my eyes shut in anger. How could they not see it? I could keep her warm and she would be okay? She would be okay. 

“Stop saying that! Sasha is perfectly fine! She’s gonna wake up! You’ll see! You’ll all see!” I screamed, squeezing her tighter to me and pushing my forehead against hers “She’s okay, She’ll be okay, She has to be... I can’t do this without her.” I whispered as more sobs wracked through my chest. She was gonna wake up and yell at me for letting a bullet go through me and into her and then I was going to give her any snacks she wanted and then we were going to laugh about this later down the road cracking jokes with Jena and Connie about how we ‘Dodged a bullet.’ I ignored Levi as he stood up and left with Hanji in tow muttering something about giving me space; now alone I started humming again and rocking her back and forth the same way I would when she started having nightmares after her first mission. “You gotta wake up for me okay? Me, Jean, and Connie need you- you know we need you so just wake up for us, alright?” I whispered, rocking her back and forth, my wound was healed but the toll it had taken on my body was enough to make me slump over and pass out at any second, I couldn’t let Sasha wake up to that and scare her.

“Stop it.” I froze at Jeans voice and glanced up to see him and Connie looking down at me, I gulped and shook my head glancing back down to her. “I said stop it.” Jean added a little more forcefully, walking to where I was and tried to pry my hands off of her. No no no if Jean and Connie believed it then it was true, they couldn’t believe that she was actually gone could they?

“I have to keep her warm Jean- Get off of me!” I screamed as he stomped to me and held my biceps tightly and shook me. “She’s gone! Sasha is gone!” I wiped my tears on my shoulder and jerked my shoulders free from his grasp trying my hardest not to jerk Sasha around too hard. 

“She isn’t! She’s right here, she's just sleeping!” I barked, baring my teeth at Jean who straightened up and shook his head, a tear slid down his cheek as he covered his mouth and looked at me with wide eyes. Connie stepped forward coming to crouch down next to me, I got ready to snap at him when he reached over and gently wiped the blood coming out of her mouth away. 

“Pea...Sasha would want you to rest, I’ll wake you up the moment she wakes up okay?” I looked at Connie and felt my eyelids droop at his words. He was right but I knew what he meant, I knew he was trying to ease me into the thought that Sasha wasn’t going to wake up. I sniffled, I had to let go. I had to let her go. 

“She’s not gonna wake up is she?” I whispered feeling a new fresh wave of tears stab at my eyes, I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut as my lungs stuttered for air. Jean came up behind me and sat down encasing me between his thighs as I scooted back to rest against him- Sasha still held tightly in my grasp as I kept my forehead pressed against hers, his chest shaking with sobs as he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his face against my back. Connie laid his head on my shoulder and the silence was enough of an answer. 

“Five more minutes? Please just five more minutes” I cried, pressing my cheek to Sasha's one last time as I heard Connie mutter a small ‘Five more minutes.’

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

John B x reader

Summary: You end up pregnant and because John B’s life was already hard, you didn’t want to make it any worse so you keep it from him. However, after a tense night at the boneyard, everything comes slipping out. 

A/N: This is my first obx fic, I hope you guys like it!! I’ll post the rest of the obx fics/requests I have tomorrow (Thursday). 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx 

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

Your eyes stare at the two pink lines. Positive. How could you and John B let this happen? You’d been careful. You used protection and you were on birth control, something your mother had you put on after she found out you were dating John B, a pogue. Your mother warned you about pregnancy and strongly urged you to use protection. Your family’s reputation would not be able to handle a pregnancy caused by a pogue. The reputation was already beginning to crack after they found out about you and him, this would completely ruin it.

Your mind then went to John B and his life. He was living alone at 18. His dad disappeared in a boating accident years ago and he was barely scrapping by. His life was already hard and to throw a baby into the mix? It would be even worse for him. You couldn’t do that to him. Especially, since your family would disown you and kick you out, leaving you to live with John B. However, this was John B’s baby and he deserved to know. He would want to know you were carrying his child. You knew he was going to be a good father, no doubt about it.   

Gathering yourself from you white tiled bathroom floor, you stood in the mirror and wiped your eyes, washing the mascara from your face and headed to the Chateau.

~

When you arrived, you let out a sigh of relief to only see John B’s van. Kie’s car or JJ’s bike no where in sight. You stepped out of your car and headed inside.

“John B?” You called out, but there was no answer. You stepped through the house, checking in the rooms, but no John B. You checked the time; he’d be home from working at the dock by now. So, where was he?

You stepped off the screen porch and looked around the yard when you heard a boat motor. As you headed down to the dock, there was John B, pulling up in HMS Pogue. He must have gone for an evening drive.

“Hey.” You gave a small smile and a wave, stepping to the end of the dock as he pulled the boat closer to the edge.

He threw you the rope to tie off the boat, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

You bent down and tied off the boat, “I needed to talk with you about something.” After tying off the boat, you stood and wiped your hands on your jeans.

As he stepped off the boat and onto the dock, you could see the weight of the world on his shoulders, “Can it wait? I’ve had a shitty day.” He sighs and sits down on the bench, running his hands through his hair.

You frowned and nodded, “What’s wrong? Do you want to want to talk about it?” You take a seat next to him and put a loving hand on his thigh.

He holds his head in his hands, “They’ve cut back my hours on the dock, which means I won’t be able make enough to pay bills, so I have to find another job.”

And that is when you knew, you couldn’t tell him about the baby.

~

It had been a few weeks, John B had yet to find a second job and you had yet to tell him about the baby. It was Kie who found out about the pregnancy first. You didn’t mean for it to happen but she’d come over to drop something off and found you sobbing in the bathroom floor. She was your best friend and you knew there was no lying to her.

“I’m pregnant, Kie.” You sobbed into your hands.

She immediately pulled you into her arms as you two sat on the bathroom floor. She let you sob for as long as you needed, “Does John B know?”

You shook your head and quickly pulled away to look at her, “He can’t know Kie. You can’t tell him. Please.”

She sadly nods, “Okay, I won’t.” It wasn’t her secret to tell.

~

You didn’t want to go to the Boneyard for a party, but John B begged you to come. He’d finally found another job and wanted to celebrate. As you and the pogues were situated around a fire, you sat next to Kie, who was telling you about her horrible date, when John B came stumbling over.

“Hey y/n.” He slurs, two cups in his hands, “Here drink up.”

You glanced at Kie and then back up at John B, “I’m okay John B. I don’t feel like drinking tonight.”

He narrows his eyes at you, “You don’t ever feel like drinking. You don’t feel like doing anything anymore! All you do is sit around on your little kook ass crying about the dumbest shit!”

Your eyes sting with tears. It had been a rough couple of weeks. Your hormones were horrible and all over the place and you had terrible morning sickness lasting through out the day.

“John B.” Kie snapped, “Don’t be an ass!”

He looks at Kie then back at you, noticing the tears, “There she goes now with the damn water works.” He shakes his head and finishes off his drink with a gulp, tossing the cup in the trash.

You stand, “John B I think it’s time for you to stop. You’ve had enough..” You go to grab the other drink in his hand but he smacks your hand away.

“Don’t touch my fucking drink.”

You put your hands up defensively, Kie standing at your side as JJ and Pope make their way over seeing all the commotion.

“You sit all high and mighty in that big ass house of yours while the rest of us pogues bust our asses to put food on the table!” He points a finger at you.

‘he’s just drunk. He’s just drunk and doesn’t mean those things.’ You repeat in your head, but your hormones are already raging and another tear slips down your face. This is what sends John B into a fit.

“And there you are with those damn tears again! What do you have to cry about?! You’ve never worked a day in your life and you probably never will!”

“I’m pregnant John B. That’s why I cry all the time! That’s why I don’t drink anymore or I’m always sick!” Tears are steadily falling and Kie puts an hand on your back.

John B is taken back by this information and stumbles back a little, “P-pregnant?” He shakes his head, the alcohol making his head spin. “There isn’t no fucking way you’re pregnant.” His eyes snap to you, “We used protection. You were on the pill. That isn’t my baby.” He points to your stomach. The next thing that happens is something none of the pogues saw coming. He tosses the drink in your face, the beer splashing on your face and down the front of your clothes.

Everything else happened so fast. Suddenly, JJ was protectively in front of you, grabbing at John B and yelling at him. Kie is cussing at John B and trying to get napkins to wipe up your face.

JJ and Pope drag John B off toward the van, still cussing and yelling at him for what he did.

“Are you okay?” Kie asks, wiping the beer off your face.

You shake your head and let out a sob.

“Oh sweetie..” She wraps her arms around you in a hug, “He was just drunk, you know that he didn’t mean any of it.”

~

Kie drove you home that night and made sure you were okay before leaving. JJ and Pope took John B back to the Chateau where John B finally passed out on the couch. They didn’t leave either, they wanted to be the first to tell John B how much he fucked up after he woke up the next morning.

~

You slept in the next morning, never leaving the bed. Kie came over and hung out but never once mentioned John B. Not like you wanted to hear about him anyways. Maybe your mother was right, dating a pogue was wrong.

~

Back at the Chateau, he knew he’d fucked up. The next morning after the outburst, JJ and Pope were quick to tell him everything that happened, how he’d drank too much, snapped on you, the pregnancy announcement and the throwing of the drink.

“Oh I fucked up.” John B groans, running his hands through his hair, “I need to go see her.” He starts to walk out but Pope grabs his arm, “Kie called from her house. She doesn’t want to see you.”

He shook Pope’s arm off, “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”

When he arrived at your house, Kie’s car was still in the driveway. Kie was never going to let you see him. He sighs and knocks on the door. To no surprise, Kie opens the door.

“She doesn’t want to see you John B.”

“I know Kie, I fucked up but please, I have to apologize.” He begs.

She shakes her head and goes to shut the door, but he stops it with his foot, “Kie, Please!”

You slowly make your way down the stairs, wrapped in a blanket, “Kie?”

Kie turns around, “He’s leaving, it’s okay.”

John B looks passed Kie and looks at your appearance. He can see you’ve been crying all night. Your eyes are swollen and red. And you’re wrapped in your favorite fluffy blanket, one only used when things were bad, “Y/n please… I’m sorry.” His eyes are pleading as he begs.

You wrap the blanket tighter around you as you walk behind Kie, “It’s okay, Kie…” You give a small smile at her and she nods before heading back to your room. Pushing John B out of the house you close the door behind you and sit on one of the white rocking chairs. “Well?”

He quickly takes a seat next to you, “I’m sorry about last night. I was a complete asshole.”

You laugh halfheartedly, “Asshole? That was more than being an asshole John B. You snapped on me and said mean things and you threw a drink in my face.”

His face falls, “I know. And I don’t know what got into me. I got scared when you said you were pregnant. I was already stressed and had finally found a second job then you say you’re pregnant? I can barely take care of myself, let alone another human being.”

“You don’t think I’m stressed out? I can’t take care of another human being either! You’re not the only one in this John B.”

He sighs, nodding, “I know and I should have never reacted the way I did.” He stands from the chair and steps in front of you, bending his knees so he’s eye level with you. He puts a loving hand on your knee, “I will take care of you and our baby, no matter what. Okay?”

You sniff, another round of tears filling your eyes, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

His heart breaks when he sees the look in your eye. They’re filled with regret and sadness. “Hey.. I know that.” He rubs his thumb along your cheek, “I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. This is on both of us, not just you. It was an accident and that’s okay. We’re going to go through this together. I’m going to be there every step of the way, alright?”

You sniffle and nod, before standing up and walking right into his open arms. He kisses the top of your head, “We’re going to be parents.” He whispers and gives you a small squeeze. Suddenly the thought of having a baby pogue, half you, half him running around made his heart swell. It was earlier than he would have hoped. He wanted to have a steady job. He wanted to marry you first and then start a family but looks like he’d have to do things another way and that was okay.

~

Few weeks went by. You were now 3 months pregnant, no baby bump yet. You’d asked Kie to accompany you to one of the appointments because John B said he had to work and couldn’t make it. You two had made a day of it, stopping for lunch and did some shopping around town. Now, you two were on your way home. You decided you’d wait at the Chateau for John B until he got off work.

“Can you take me by John B’s?” You ask, looking over at Kie.

“yeah sure.” She nods, turning off a side street and heading toward the Chateau.

~

When you arrive, his van is parked by the house along with JJ’s bike. “Thought he was at work?” She asks, turning off the car.

“Yeah I did too..” you mutter before getting out of the car. The two of you head up on the front porch; the door is open and it sounds like JJ and John B are arguing.

“That’s not the right part, JJ! It’s this one.”

“Dude, I’m not a rocket scientist.”

“This has to be perfect.”

You look at Kie, who shrugs, so the two of you walk into the house and to the office where John B’s dad kept all his treasures and research. However, the room isn’t filled with his dad’s things anymore. It was empty. The walls had been painted a light grey and there were baby animals hung around the room. In the middle of the room sat John B and JJ, half of a crib up, the rest of the parts were strewed around them.

Your eyes swelled with tears, “John B..”

His head snapped up to you, oh shit. He’d lied to you about work and now was caught right in the middle of it.

“I’m just gonna.. go outside.” JJ quickly stands and follows Kie out, leaving you and John B in the room.

He slowly stands, “I wanted it to be a surprise… this is the nursery.. for our baby.”

Your let out a small sob, admiring the room, “It’s amazing!”  

His face lights up, “Really? You like it?”

“Like it? I love it John B!” You smile, turning around to face him, frowning, “But all your dad’s stuff.”

He nods, “In the shed. I figured he wouldn’t mind his grandchild having this room..”

You look at the décor and then the crib, “How could you afford all this?”

“I had some savings set aside for something else. But I knew this was more important.” He steps over to you, “Do you like the color? I can change it if you don’t like it. It’s just the guy at the paint shop said grey was a neutral color since I didn’t know the gender.”

You quickly shook your head and smiled, “No, it’s perfect. All of it.. is perfect.” Your hand digs into your back pocket and pull out the ultrasound photo.

“New ultrasound photo?” He asks as you hand it to him.

You point to the little bean in the photo, “Size of a plum now.” You giggle a little.

He chuckles, looking over the photo, “Size of a plum..”

You nod, “Doctor said baby was healthy and growing just fine. And the mother was doing great too.” You laugh a little.  

He smiles, “Can I keep this one? I want to put it with my others” He’d kept the photos from the first ultrasound, hung on the fridge and in the van. He was proud and would show of the photo anytime someone entered in the Chateau or even the van. “We know John B, we saw the photo in the van.” The pogues would mutter.

“Sure. I have another one in the car. That’s your copy.”

His hand slips around your waist and pulls you into his side, his free hand going to your tummy, “My little family…”

OBX Tag list: @emmalvei-blog​ , @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​

[blackgirlfandomwriter]

Pregnant (Bayverse Optimus x Oc Reader)

Ok, so this is an old one-shot that I wrote starring my friends and me. This was back when I first starting writing on Wattpad and I thought it would be funny to share it with yall so enjoy!!

Lori's POV:

"People are so dumb in horror movies," Savannah said tossing popcorn in her mouth. "I know right," I said laughing as we continued to watch the film in front of us. Tonight me and the girls decided to have a movie night until the guys got back from their mission in Tokyo. "I just got a text from Ratchet, they should be here tomorrow morning," Nina said smiling at us as we all grinned. The movie had gone off so we just started talking about randomness. Kaitlyn started to crack jokes making me laugh uncontrollably. "How about a game of truth or dare," Savannah said with a huge grin that said she was up to no good.

"Uh-uh Savannah's up to something," Nina said shaking her head. "What? No, I'm not I just have a question" Savannah said still smirking evilly. "And what may that be," I asked raising my eyebrow questioningly. "Have any of yall....... you know.......... done it yet?" Savannah said as we all looked around at each other waiting for answers. "Duhhhh," Kaitlyn said sticking her tongue in a playful way. "I know that's right," Savannah said as she and Nina high-fived while laughing. I on the other hand sat there in silence

"I know Lori be getting it in with Optimus all the time," Nina said looking at me giggling. I slapped her on the arm and laughed. "No, we haven't done it," I said trying to hide my embarrassment. "Not yet at least," Savannah raised her eyebrows at me in a joking way. "Bruhh shut up," I said hitting her with a pillow. She looked stunned for a moment before she hit me back. "PILLOW FIGHT" Kaitlyn yelled as we all started to hit each other with pillows.

~Time Skip To Morning~

"Ow stop kicking me" I muttered moving around to get comfortable on whatever I was laying on. I opened my eyes to see me and the girls all spread across the living room floor. I laughed as I stood up from my position on the floor and stretched. I yawned as I headed upstairs to get cleaned up and changed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and threw on leggings and a crop top as I picked up my phone to text Optimus.

~~Messages~~

Lori: Hey, I thought you would be home by now 😥

Optimus: Sadly we are at the military base with Lennox discussing going back to Cybertron...... the government is starting to get a bit angsty

Lori: Oh is everything ok

Optimus: Nothing that needs to concern you. Everything will be fine

Lori: Um ok. I love you 💙

Optimus: Love you too. I'll be home soon❤

~~End~~

I looked down at my phone with a smile as I sighed. "I wonder how going back to Cybertron is going to work," I said to myself before shrugging my shoulders. I slipped my phone into my pocket and headed back downstairs. "Breakfast sounds good," I said while pulling out eggs, bacon, and pancake mix as I got to work. Once I was done with breakfast the girls were already awake and sleepily walking to the table. "Thanks for breakfast Lori," Nina said as Savannah and Kaitlyn grumbled through stuffed mouths of food. I laughed hearing a knock at the front door. "Who could that be," I said aloud as I jogged to the door. I slowly opened the door to find a few of the Autobots standing there in their bipedal forms.

"Oh my god! You're back" I yelled hugging them as they all chuckled. "What are you yelling about," Savannah said walking up behind me and freezing. "BEE" she yelled tackling him to the ground. We all laughed as Kaitlyn and Nina came to see all the commotion. They were so happy to see Ratchet and Crosshairs it was unbelievable. "Aww yall are so cute," I said taking out my phone and snapping many pictures. "Whatever girl your just jealous," Nina said sticking out her tongue playfully. "Girl you wish," I said with a playful eye roll. Before I could close the door I saw some more cars pull up. They all looked pretty familiar. They soon transformed revealing Jazz and the Lambo Twins (Sideswipe and Sunstreaker). "It's been a while, Lori," Jazz said walking up to me with a smile. "Nice to see you too," I said punching Jazz in the arm.

Before I could say anything to the twins I was engulfed in a tight hug. "We've missed you," they both said as I sighed. "I missed you guys too," I said as I kissed both of their foreheads as they went inside. Finally, the last three Autobots showed up, Drift, Hound, and Optimus. As soon as they transformed I ran over to Optimus and jumped into his arms. He caught me and spun me around causing me to squeal. When he set me back on the ground I smashed my lips into his as to which he returned the favor. "Eww guys get a room," Hound said in fake disgust. I only laughed as Optimus threw me over his shoulder and carried me into the house. "Optimus what are you doing" I yelled as he started to carry me upstairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Savannah making these symbols with her hands towards me.

I gave Savannah a death glare as I mouthed the words Fuck you. Savannah looked at me in disbelief and burst into laughter as me and Optimus made it upstairs. When we made it to my bedroom Optimus lightly threw me on the bed causing me to giggle as he crawled on top of me. "Optimus what are you doing" I wined playfully trying to push him off of me. He didn't say anything as he let his metal lips find mine in a passionate kiss. I kissed back as he let his hands wander down to my hips. He pulled away and nibbled on my neck leaving little love bites as I moaned lightly. After a few minutes, he pulled away and kissed my forehead. "You sure you wanna do this" He whispered as I smirked kissing him roughly. "Does that answer your question?" I said with a smirk as he proceeded with a low growl.

~Time Skip To The Morning After (Cuz I've never written a lemon sooooo..... Yea)~

I woke up to the sun beaming through my curtains as I groaned snuggling into the warm figure next to me. 'Wait' I thought as my eyes popped open. 'Did me and Optimus ..... noooo did we?' I thought while slowly looking under the covers and quickly putting them back down. 'Oh, shit' I thought looking up at the ceiling. I let out a deep sigh as I turned to face a still sleeping Optimus. 'He's so handsome when he sleeps. Ugh, but why do I feel sick all of the sudden'. For some reason, something didn't feel right as I rushed to the bathroom. I shut the door and hunched over the toilet immediately spilling my guts. "What the hell" I groaned as I grabbed my phone off the counter and texted Savannah

~Messages~

Lori: Savannahhhhh😫😥

Savannah: Yes big head

Lori: I need help 😥 Somethings wrong like fr fr

Savannah: Where are you???

Lori: The bathroom in my room 😭

Savannah: Ight hold on

~End~

I took a deep breath as I waited on Savannah's arrival. Soon I heard the doorknob jiggle and in came Savanah shutting the door behind her. "Did you wake Optimus?" I asked nervously. "No, but what's your problem? You look uglier than usual" Savannah stated smiling as I weekly kicked her. "Looookkkk," I said pointing at the toilet. Savannah looked in and quickly backed away in disgust. "What the hell! Are you sick?" she yelled as I shushed her sternly. "I don't know I woke up feeling weird then I threw up," I said laying my head on the bathtub.

"Wait did you and Optimus......" Savannah asked not finishing her sentence. "Not important right now," I said pointing a finger at her as her eyes went wide. "I'll be right back," Savannah said as she ran out of the bathroom leaving me confused. As I waited for her to come back I slowly got up from my position on the floor trying to steady myself. I wobbly walked over to the counter and looked at myself in the mirror. 'Ugh I look horrible' I thought as I rinsed my mouth to get rid of the smell of puke.

"I'm back," Savannah said while holding something behind her back. "What's that," I asked pointing behind her with a raised eyebrow. Without saying a word she pulled out a pregnancy test and my jaw dropped in shock. "Take it," Savannah said sternly. "Are you serious?" I said crossing my arms in disbelief. "Yes, now take it," Savannah said shoving it into my hands and walking out of the bathroom. I sighed as went through the process of taking the pregnancy test. I set it on the counter and waited. 'There's no way I'm pregnant...... am I? I mean it was only once and it was my first time! Oh god, why am I so anxious'. I started to get more nervous as I paced around the bathroom. 'What will Optimus think? Does he even want kids? Do I want kids? WHY DIDN'T WE USE A-'. My thoughts were soon interrupted by my phone ringing signaling that the five-minute wait was over.

I slowly picked up the test with shaky hands. I looked down at the test and immediately lost my breath. "I'm pregnant" I whispered while covering my mouth with my hand. Tears started to fall but I couldn't tell if I was happy or scared. I sobbed quietly as I slid onto the floor. 'What am I gonna do?' I thought to myself as I cried a bit harder. There was a knock at the door causing me to jump but I didn't say a word. "Lori are you ok," A rough voice said from the other side of the door. 'Shit' I scurried to my feet while wiping my eyes clean. "Yea I'm fine," I said fixing myself up. "You don't sound fine. Can you please open the door" Optimus said as my heart stopped. 'Here comes the moment of truth I guess'

I opened the door letting him in as he kissed my forehead. "I have something to tell you" I spoke as my voice quivered. "Are you ok, you look sick?" Optimus said looking at me with concern. "Yea I'm fine just a little morning sickness," I said putting on a fake smile. As soon as I said those words Optimus's eyes went wide. "Are you?" Optimus asked questioningly as he stared at my stomach. "Yea...... I'm sorry" I said bursting into tears as I felt a strange pain in my chest. "Sorry? For what" Optimus said trying to calm me down. "I didn't even ask if you wanted kids, it just happened! And I-" Before I could continue my ranting his lips gently smashed onto mine.

I calmed down as he wiped away my stray tears. "Hey, look at me," Optimus said while raising my head my his index finger, "I've always thought about starting a family with you. It just happened faster than I expected, but I still love you and our unborn child," Optimus said causing my eyes to water up again. "I love you so much," I said kissing him passionately. I felt him smirk in the kiss causing me to giggle. "You kiss me like that again and we might be making twins," Optimus said kissing my neck. "You horny hunk of metal," I said shoving him playfully and trying to walk away. But I couldn't get far enough before he scooped me up into his arms bridal style and carried me downstairs.

When we walked into the living room everyone was sitting there as if they were awaiting our arrival. "Soooooo," Savannah said with a huge grin. "You told them," I said looking at her with a shocked expression. "That's not important right now. What does the test say" Nina said jumping up and down eagerly. Optimus and I exchanged a look as we both smiled. "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!" I yelled in excitement as everyone laughed and clapped. "It's about damn time," Crosshairs said with a smirk while I playfully glared at him. "Aww I'm going to be an auntie," Savannah said wiping away a fake tear. I laughed while hugging her tightly as everyone else started talking about baby showers and planning causing me to roll my eyes. "Wow can't believe I'm gonna be a mom," I said rubbing my still flat stomach. "I can't believe I'm gonna be a father," Optimus said kissing my forehead as everyone 'Awwed'. I took a good look around at the people around me, the Autobots, my friends, my best friend, the love of my life, and soon to be born child.

This is my family now and I love them

[echo-hiraeth]

Chapter 9: Misdemeanour

Part of the “Ilicit Limerence” series

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: A slow Sunday is ruined by a certain someone. The next morning reader returns to the embassy, receiving some rather good news.

Warnings: swearing, angst, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, nudity, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of unrighteous law

Masterlist

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The envelope felt like lead in your hands. You’d opened the door, barely dressed as you rolled out of bed, wrapped in a robe as you freed yourself from your lover’s embrace. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you were handed the big envelope. A lawyer’s name. You just got fucking asked to drop charges. Not really able to move much you gently pushed against the door, listening to the dull noise as it shut on its own.

Opening this envelope would tell you exactly how bad it was. But you were too scared to find out, anxiously picking at your lip as you just stood there, seemingly paralyzed. You knew this was a bad idea, you knew you should’ve just let it be, you fucking knew there was no winning, ever. A heartbroken sob racked through your chest and you clutched a hand over your mouth, not wanting Javier to hear.

Quiet or not, it didn’t matter, he walked out of the bedroom, still nude, stretching his toned arms over his head as he let out a yawn. “Come back to bed, hermosa, it’s still early”, he rasped, voice hoarse with sleep.

You looked at him with tear-stained cheeks, palm practically glued to your mouth. He blinked, not sure of what he was seeing, but as he noticed to brown envelope dangling from your other hand he woke up instantly. You met each other halfway, weeping as he engulfed you in his warmth. His fingers weaved themselves through you hair, chin resting atop of your head as he rocked you back and forth.

It was shock more than anything that had triggered a response like this, a pure panic. He’d seen it before, the night you came back and he wasn’t prepared to have to ever see it again. “I’m here, baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere”, he whispered over and over, repeating it like a mantra so that maybe you might just pick up on it.

“I just want it to stop”, you cried out, balling your fists against his chest as you let go of the cursed papers.

The envelope fell to the floor with a soft rustling and in that moment you just wished you could disappear, fall through the wooden floorboards yourself. “I know baby, I know”, he soothed, pulling you in closer.

Your head started hurting from the extensive crying, corners of your eyes stinging as the skin felt raw due to all the rubbing and wiping away of tears. But when the tears stilled, the anger settled in. He could feel it in the way you tensed up, muscles seemingly rejecting his caring touches as he held onto you.

“Let’s sit down, okay? Have something to drink and then we’ll read over it, together”, he promised, kissing your temple.

You sat down at the kitchen counter, splaying your palms against the cold surface, trying to breathe through the sheer blood-boiling rage you felt coursing through your entire body. He picked the envelope off of the floor, throwing it down in front of you as he grabbed a set of glasses from the cupboard. “The case will take place in the states”, you muttered, not daring to look up.

“I know, we can rent an apartment”, he replied, pouring you some water.

“Javi.. this is my mess, you are not-“

He laid his hands over yours, clearing his throat. “I’m your partner now, whatever you’re going through, I’m right there with you.”

His words made you feel the slightest bit better, lip starting to tremble again as you looked up at him. “I’m so sorry.”

He dragged your chair closer to his, cupping your face in both his hands. “None of this is on you, preciosa. Whatever that says, it does not define you.”

“You’re so good to me”, you choked out, burying your face in his neck.

Javier struggled with that, his heartstrings tugging on his restraint and self-control. He was just as pissed off as you were, if not more. That scumbag had the guts to threaten a case himself, thinking he could fucking win despite the hard evidence against him. He’d wanted it to happen at a different time – any other time but now, you were finally back on your feet. The entire week at his apartment had been amazing, you’d been on top of the world, as if nothing ever happened. And you’d genuinely deserved that, both of you did.

This wasn’t at all how you’d envisioned your weekend together. The thought of having to go back to work after all of that tomorrow stressful enough on its own. You and Javier had spent a week in pure bliss, tangled up in each other’s limbs and depths, getting closer, both physically and emotionally. The two of you had a dynamic now, a routine together and the domesticity of it was all the stability you’d ever want and need.

“We’ll get a good lawyer, you don’t need to worry about that”, he said before pressing another short kiss to your lips.

You nodded, sliding your fingernail under the hem of the paper, ripping the glue apart. With another shaky breath you pulled the papers out, hands damp with sweat. You looked over at Javier, who gave you an encouraging nod. Your eyes skimmed over the paper, pausing when you read the words “misdemeanour” and “battery”.

“What the fuck”, you gasped, rereading the sentences over and over again.

Javier sat upright, trying to read along with you. “Misde- are they fucking blind? Insufficient evidence? Oh you have got to be kidding me. That is low, even for him”, he spat, kicking his chair back as he went to stand.

“Javi, please sit down”, you sighed, closing your eyes as you felt the room start to spin.

He kicked against the chair, the wood clattering onto the tiles due to the impact. “Man, fuck this!”, he screamed, giving it another punt.

You flinched, keeping your head low as he took some of his frustrations out. “Please stop”, you pleaded, fingers gripping the counter.

He looked at the way you sat and took a step back. “I-I’m going for a drive.”

Before you could so much as look at him he was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You’d gone from a serious case to a negotiation regarding “first-degree battery”, with a thousand dollar fine as a suggestion. You knew how sexist the courts could be at times, often ruling in the favour of perpetrators solemnly because of their sex. It was disgusting, several supplied pictures of your bruised and mishandled body deemed as “insufficient evidence”. The added detail of “assault of a pregnant woman” overruled as well. There was a written out response and report, they’d handled it behind your back, putting an end to it before it even started. Insufficient evidence, no witnesses. The response even alluded to self-defence, explaining that in a crazed, hysteric episode you attacked him first, statement backed up by eye-witnesses.

Were you supposed to be happy? Happy that he didn’t charge you? Happy he’d give you a thousand bucks? A thousand bucks could not even begin to make up for the damages, let alone the loss of an entire family.

It was still a proposal though, so you could either accept or fight back. But if even now your sisters and mother were unwilling to side with you, you surely wouldn’t win them on your side under any other circumstances, it was a lost cause and you knew it. This is where it ended, this is where they stopped being family to you, for good. Javier and Steve would egg you on to take it to court, let it drag on, risk losing it all, but if you were completely honest with yourself you knew that all you wanted was for it all to stop. You just wanted to be left alone and forget, supress what had happened, supress years and years of what had been happening. Your father was too far gone, there was no redeeming himself, you’d known this since you were in your teens and yet there was always that small bit of hope that you held onto. But looking at these papers, his name signed neatly at the bottom, you felt it perish. You grabbed the nearest pen, hands trembling with sheer hatred and resent. Fuck him, fuck all of them, is this is what they wanted, they could have it their way. You signed your name on the same line, consenting to the settlement and leaving it at just that.

He’d exerted his control over you way too long and had always won, no matter what you did. The amount of holidays you’d spent on your own, amount of birthdays you celebrated with a bottle of gin or vodka, they’d always won. You were allowed a family of your own and you’d have exactly that, you’d win this time and they would never take it away from you again.

Let them have the case, you had other things here, important things; a real family.

 When Javier came back, somewhat cooled off, he found you in the bathroom, on your hands and knees scrubbing along the edges of the tub. You had the radio playing, some man announcing the weather forecast in Spanish. He leaned against the doorframe, the shadow of his towering figure making you look over. You both smiled at each other, though it wasn’t sincere.

“I’m sorry for losing my temper.. I just.. it ticks me off – a lot”, he confessed, crossing his arms in front of him.

You nodded, averting your gaze to focus on the porcelain once again. “I signed.”

“You did what?”, he asked in a monotone voice, standing up straight now.

“I signed”, you repeated, getting up off the ground and walking up to him. “I’m done with the games. He can have it his way if that means I’ll never have to see any of them again.”

He didn’t like that, but a part of him actually understood. “Are you sure this is what you want?”, he asked, no sly or ironic undertone, he was genuine.

“I want to be happy and a lengthy and expensive court case that I probably won’t even win just isn’t that”, you explained, pushing past him with the bucket of cleaning supplies.

He trailed after you, eyes glued to your form as you moved around the kitchen. “I know it won’t be easy, but you’ve got a good case, you could make a difference.”

“Listen, I made my decision and I’m not really in the mood to go back and forth about it. So you can either shut up about or go bitch to someone else”, you snarled, finger pointing towards the door.

His face faltered a bit at your words, taken aback by your brashness. “I just think it would be better for you to think about it some more.”

“Javier. Quit”, you sighed, turning your back towards him. “I don’t expect you to understand but I really don’t want this to drag on. Whether I win or lose against him in front of a judge, it’ll never actually fix anything. So instead of wasting my time away being miserable and anxious all the time, I’d rather spend it here, with you and Connie and Steve, Olivia.”

He came up behind you, spinning you around to face him. “You know I’ll support you no matter what. And if this is what you really want, then I’ll let it go, but I need you to look me in the eyes when you tell me.”

You put a hand on his cheek, looking into his brown eyes as you said exactly what you’d told him before: you were putting an end to it. “I want to start anew. I want a clean sheet with you, with this”, you whispered, bringing his hand to your swollen stomach.

He hadn’t ever touched you there since finding out you were pregnant and something about it felt surprisingly soothing, grounding, unreal. He could tell there was somewhat of a curve going on, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he kept his fingers there, lips colliding with yours.

“A new start”, he repeated, leaning back in.

 The next morning was pure chaos, the two of you struggling to get ready in time. Today was important, your first day back and your first day with the new ambassador, who knew nothing about you, your condition or your relation to Javier. You took your breakfast into the car, your heated time in the shower having you run late. You handed Javier a sandwich as you quickly buttoned up your blouse.

“That is really distracting”, Javier tutted, stopping at the red light, a hand comfortable resting on your thigh.

You threw him a glare, stealing his sandwich to sneak a bite. “Your fault! You wanted to have sex, now we’re running late.”

“From what I remember”, he started, stuffing the rest of the sandwich in his mouth “you were the one begging me not to stop.”

“Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I won’t dropkick you”, you jested, fully buttoned-up.

He turned his head, flashing you an irresistibly handsome smirk. “Oh honey, keep it up and I might just have to bend you over your own desk.”

“Javier! Keep it in your fucking pants, will you”, you scolded, chuckling slightly.

He parked the car, taking his hand of your thigh in the process. “I like driving you to work, hermosa”, he mumbled, jerking the handbrake.

“Hmm, why’s that?”, you asked, fixing your hair and make-up in the rear view mirror.

“Beeecaauuse I get to do”, he leaned over the console, resting a hand on the back of your neck, “this.”

His lips moved against yours in a slow, passionate pace, tongue slightly pressing up against you, asking for permission. You allowed him the entrance, grabbing a hold of his shirt as he deepened the kiss, stroking your tongue with his. He squeezed the inside of your thigh as he leaned back, biting his lip as you let out a whimper.

“You’re the worst”, you sighed, the heat between your legs incredibly prominent as he dragged his fingertips over your throat.

Another embrace, lips grazing your neck. “C’mon let’s head inside.”

 There was bouquet of flowers, courtesy of the office lads, displayed on your desk. You felt a blush creep up as you walked over, reaching out for the card. It read <We missed you! Glad to have you back!>. You grinned from ear to ear, bending down to smell the freshly cut blooms.

“Oh wow”, you gasped, closing your eyes as the sweet smell filled your lungs. “I-I don’t know what to say..”, you stuttered, looking down at the array of coloured petals.

“Thank you, for a start”, somebody spoke.

You whipped your head around. “Lopez! Of course!”, you giggled, returning his hug.

Javier watched from the side, rolling his eyes and scoffing as Steve just laughed away. He knew the office was up to something, but a fucking bundle of flowers? That crossed a line for him. Flowers were a boyfriend thing in his mind, for Valentine’s and birthdays or when there was something to make up.

But it was when he watched the other man’s hand slide down you lower back that he really got annoyed. “We have work to do, if you don’t mind.”

The man let go of you, giving a polite nod before walking off once again. “Hoo-hoo, I’d pay to see that face of yours again”, Steve pestered him.

You engulfed the blonde in a bone-crushing hug. “How’re the girls?”

“Loud and proud. How’s the little troublemaker?”, he asked, watching as Javier sat down at his desk, lighting a cigarette.

“Still kicking my ass. Getting real tired of the nausea and vertigo”, you sighed, absentmindedly trailing a finger over the button of your jeans.

Steve nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder to convey his sympathy. “Any triggers? Connie told me some women react very strongly to certain foods.”

“Oh, just try to keep your coffee and cigarettes out of my face for now. Thank you for asking though”, you said, bumping your shoulder with his.

 The morning was slow, despite Javier filling you in at night the past week, you were still expected to attend a briefing. It became rather clear that there was a lot of pressure going around, Pablo closing in on his deal, his surrender. On paper it was nice, the biggest threat locked away behind bars, but that didn’t take care of anything. It was a stunt more than anything, something to appease to the public and feign peace.

It was just like what you’d gone through that weekend, there was no winning in this. “Imprisoned” or not, Escobar’s empire would still stand, whether he directed his men behind bars or not. At this point the decision was out of the DEA’s hands, to everyone’s greatest annoyance and it wasn’t looking good. It was within the government’s best interest to agree to the ridiculous terms, trying to rebuild their image. So a different decision was made, if the DEA couldn’t get Pablo, they’d get all the other sicarios and intel they could get their hands on.

Throughout the day you found out that ambassador Noonan was still there. She called you into her office, wanting to have a chat with you. The conversation came down to your current position and limitations and she informed you that so long as you were comfortable doing so, you were perfectly fine to go into the field. You both agreed that your sudden disappearance from stake outs might come off as suspicious, and that any possible corrupted fellow agents might catch word of what was truly happening. You agreed to work alongside Peña and Murphy until you were visibly showing or too exhausted, sick, restricted – whatever to keep doing so. You wouldn’t be chasing anyone, just show up and tag along to keep up appearances.

Javier was not on board with this and had to resits the urge to storm into that office and knock some sense into his superior. It wasn’t until you’d sat him down after dinner and explained the entire philosophy behind it that he actually listened.

“You’re telling me the best way to keep you safe if to put you directly in harm’s way?”, he asks, reaching for a cigarette.

You grasp the packet before he can reach it, tossing it aside. “Yes. Not attending raids will raise questions, questions too dangerous to answer. We do this for a couple of months and go from there.”

“I don’t know hermosa”, he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Specify attending raids.”

“Sit back, stay close to the armoured car and look pretty in a bulletproof vest”, you chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

He let out an exaggerated sigh, bumping his forehead against yours. “You’re gonna be the death of me, baby.”

You captured his pouty lips in a kiss, smiling as he wrapped his arms around you. “I have laundry to do”, you breathed, closing your eyes as he held you against his chest.

“Did you really have to bring those fucking flowers into our apartment?”

You let out a laugh in the crook of his neck. “Last time I checked I’m the one paying rent, you freeloader.”

“Two places is gonna be costly in a couple of months and we practically already live together”, he explained, pushing some of your hair behind your left ear.

“You asking me to move in with you?”, you questioned, trying to keep yourself from grinning.

“Well, I’m more asking if I can move in with you”, he replied, leaning down to peck your nose.

You hummed in response, freeing yourself from his embrace to lean on the counter. “Won’t you miss your apartment? It’s quite a bit closer to the embassy.”

“Which is exactly why yours is better. And I won’t have to listen to Steve and Connie going at it every once a month”, he admitted, slowly shaking his head.

“Once a month? Ooh, that’s rough”, you joked.

He tilted his head in amusement, smirking as he looked back up at you. “Didn’t you have some laundry to get to?”

“Keep that up and you’ll get once a month too Peña”, you quipped, throwing the wet kitchen towel at his face. “Buuuut if you help me, I can give it to you tonight.”

“Oh baby, please. I’ll have you begging for me by the end of it.”

And beg you did. Legs wrapped around his waist, the vibrations of the washing machine sending waves of pleasure through you. You’d started by emptying the dryer while Javi filled the washing machine. And as soon as it turned on, he grabbed a hold of your waist and put your right on top of it. You were writing underneath him, moaning with every roll of his hips. His mouth was on your neck, rightfully marking what was his as he sped up his movements.

“J-Javi please”, you pleaded “more.”

He jerked you forward, having you balance on the edge, angling his thrusts even more upward. You surged forward as he hit deeper, reaching something inside that had you clinging onto him. His hands gripped onto your ass, keeping you in place as the machine rumbled beneath you.

“Gonna need you to cum, hermosa”, he ordered, out of breath as he dipped a hand between the front of your legs, rubbing sloppy circles on your clit.

You were a whimpering mess now, choking out his name as his hips started to stammer, desperately chasing his oncoming orgasm. He let out a series of low, husky, guttural groans as he bit down on your shoulder, coating your heat with his release. You followed soon after, the sharp pain in your shoulder sending you over the edge. Your toes curled behind his back, legs squeezing his sides as you let out a loud and melodical moan.

He stumbled forward a bit, caging you in as he regained his balance. “Shit – that was intense”, he exhaled, resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“Yeah.. that one’s gonna hurt tomorrow”, you panted, running your hands through his damp hair. “Hand me that towel, please?”

He leaned over, grabbing the towel off the drying rack, making some other stuff fall in the process. “No chasing, just showing up?”, he checked again.

“Just showing up, bulletproof vest on at all times”, you reassured him, throwing the dirty towel into the hamper.

He helped you off of the washer, giving your butt a smack as you stood in front of him again. “You ride with me, always. I need to be able to see you, understood?”

“I’m your girlfriend, not your liability”, you joked, playfully hitting him in the chest. “What’s that?”, you questioned, bending down to pick something up off the floor.

Javier hesitated, putting his hands over yours as he gave you a sheepish grin. “It’s just something I got at the market last time we went. I-it’s stupid really.”

You opened your hands, looking down to get a closer look. They’re little socks, striped-socks. “Javi.. when did you get this?”, you asked, voice rising in pitch as you started feeling a little emotional.

“You were talking to some vendor and I just – I thought they looked cute and-“

He was shut up as you smashed your lips into his. “I love them.”

Taglist: @pedritomando @peterhollandkait @ophelia-ingenue @radiowallet @phoenixhalliwell @diogodxlot @rosiefridayrogersunday @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @asta-lily @the-bottom-of-the-abyss​ 

[styleswithaseaview]

ottery st. catchpole

ok so new fic ;)))) (This is based of forest gump so basically forest and Jenny’s relationship but at hogwarts ykykykykykky) y/n had a reall Ruff childhood and she lived in St. Otterpole with Ced and they grew up together and she would always sneak in to his house so she wouldn’t be alone in the night But once they have been at Hogwarts a couple years Ced realised his feelings for y/n and is like “ what happened to the original plot of the movie?” Sjdjdjdkskkskskskd… One night, our girl is having a nightmare about sm sm u can decide and ceds like hell nah not my girl and takes her up to his dorm and they sleep and cuddle like they used to do at his house when they are younger :) Then she wakes up and is like “oh shiii i fell in love with Diggory” That’s all I have for the plot rn but lemme know if you need anything else :))) - @feliciamint​ (thank you for the lovely idea babie!)

warnings : food mention, slightly vague family issues, nightmares, tooth-rotting fluff, swearing

a/n : this is kind of different to my usual, and it’s kind of terrible, but ah well! thank you for the help and the lovely request, lu! 

taglist: @cedricsbrowncurls @hoe4cedricdiggory @feliciamint @sugarywinterroses @faeinorbit @truly-insatiable @dianadiggory @animalcrackersinchurch @ceofcedric @annasdani @punkrific @anchoeritic @dogsandrocketsocks @blacksbooksx @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @inks-and-jinx @tomriddleswifey @kmcedric11 @orifortheweeknd

— 

You were in love with Cedric Diggory, that you knew for certain. Now, how did you come to this conclusion? Simply because every moment leading up to this day was like a time bomb, fuse burning oh-so-slowly until it exploded in a flurry of light. 

Ottery St. Catchpole, early childhood; a chilly December night.

You flicked on your light tentatively, searching the window opposite you for a sign that the boy you desperately needed at the moment was still awake.

Alas, his light switched on, as well, and you practically squealed in joy. You saw his face appear in the window, childish grin spreading across his features, and he nodded to you. 

Taking his signal, you quickly grabbed your coat from where it hung above your bed - in your small cupboard off the kitchen that you resided in - and made your way silently to the door. 

You didn’t know why you felt the need to be quiet, as precisely no one but yourself - a ten year old - occupied the house at the moment. But you were, simply by instinct, and it proved helpful at times other than this; your parents, the ones who were currently out Merlin knows where, often reinforced that you make not a peep when the rare occasion that they were home came up. 

And so you hurried out the door and around the back, not stopping until you saw the faint yellow light emanating from the small window on the Diggory’s kitchen door.

The door opened precisely at the moment you arrived at it, revealing a smiling Cedric who pulled the door open for you, allowing you to step into the warmth of the Diggory household. 

“Ced? Is-” Amos Diggory started, walking down the stairs, stopping when he saw you. “Ah, hello, Y/N. Staying the night? Have you had dinner yet? There’s food in the cupboard, we just-” 

“Thank you, Mr. Diggory, s’very kind,” you said warmly, smiling at the man, who simply shook his head with a chuckle. 

“What have I said about my name? Please call me Amos, s’only right with the amount of time you spend over here,” he said, and Cedric shot him a glare. 

“Dad.” he warned, grey eyes flaring, and the man just smiled. 

“I do mean it in a good way, Ced, you know I love dear Y/N as much as you do.” Amos nodded, exiting the room and up the stairs. 

“Have y’eaten?” Cedric asked when his father left, gesturing for you to sit down on one of the stools near the counter. You shook your head with pursed lips, trying to quell the hunger that rumbled in your stomach. “Have some, please,” he implored, taking a bowl of pasta out and a plate for you. You opened your mouth to decline, but the emptiness that growled in your stomach was evident, so you merely nodded, taking the fork from him. 

“Thank you, Ced. Y’really don’t have to do this,” you said in between bites of food, and he shook his head. 

“It’s the least I can do. Y’want a cuppa?” You nodded in response, and he started the kettle with a wave of his hand. Although you weren’t in Hogwarts yet, and a normal ten-year-old wizard wouldn’t know wandless magic, Cedric and yourself had learned some when he’d realized that he was a disaster in a magic-less kitchen, and with the amount of times a night such as this had occurred, magic was needed in some form or another. 

After you’d finished eating and sipped the warm tea he’d provided, the two of you quietly went up to his bedroom, which frankly felt more like home than your own cramped cupboard. 

“C’mon, don’t just stand there,” Cedric said with a laugh, opening his own sheets for you to climb into, which you did more than willingly with a giggle. You fell asleep that night in his arms, not a thought in your mind about the troubles that riddled your ten-year-old-self. 

— 

You were attempting to fall asleep, which proved to be an extremely difficult task with the thoughts that swirled around in your brain, providing you no respite.

When you finally did so, you found that the respite you desired still did not come.

You were flailing in open water, which you saw that stretched miles around you, and the desperate kicks of your limbs did no good to the way you were positively drowning, face barely above the surface as salty water filled your lungs. Upon looking up, you were met with your parents, who were in a boat - a relatively nice one, too - lounging about with cocktail in hand. They spotted your screaming figure and payed no mind, steering their boat the other way as you succumbed to the ocean that pulled you below. 

You woke up with a sharp intake of breath, filling your aching lungs, and you found that your throat was sore. From what, you didn’t know - your only concern was the state you were in. Your palms were clammy and you couldn’t stop trembling; it felt like there was water around you, drowning you, when you were merely in your dorm. 

You looked up through waterlogged lashes, you assumed from your own tears, to see two people standing in the doorway. One, your roommate. Two, Cedric. You practically sobbed in relief, and the boy rushed to your side, falling to his knees to meet your eye level. 

“What happened to her?” Cedric asked worriedly, turning to your roommate. 

“I dunno, she was screaming and crying and kicking like mad, and then I came and got you.” the girl said, grimacing. Evidently, she hadn’t gotten much sleep, either. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, brushing a sweaty piece of hair from your face. “Y/N, can y’hear me? Wanna go to my dorm, you can get some sleep, alright?” He asked softly, and you nodded, still incredibly shaken but conscious enough to register his inquiry. He picked you up off your bed, bridal style with one arm wrapped under the bend of your knees and the other around the curvature of your spine, and excited the room with a quick ‘thank you’ to your roommate. 

He walked you all the way to his dorm, which he was alone in thanks to Head Boy privileges, and set you in his bed, leaving you there for but a moment to fetch a washcloth and some water. He returned, turning you over to softly brush the washcloth over your perspiring face, cleaning you up from the sweat that your nightmares had caused. 

“Can y’drink some water f’me?” he asked softly, holding up the water bottle he’d grabbed, and you parted your lips in response, allowing him to nurse the water to your mouth, which you gulped gratefully, thankful for the soothing sensation that the liquid provided you with.

After a minute, you were returned to a relatively normal state, but were still incredibly tired. Cedric gently got into bed beside you, careful not to touch you as to not disturb you, to which you frowned. 

“What are y’doin’?” 

“I’m-” 

“We’re not strangers, get over here, please.” you said simply, pulling the boy so that his arms were around your waist and your head in his chest, inhaling his scent. You were finally able to sleep with the warmth of him around you, and a dreamless sleep, at that. 

When you woke up the next morning, the bomb had gone off in your heart, and it was simple for anyone to see. You were in love with Cedric Diggory.

[imnotasuperhero]

I would lie and say you’re not in my mind.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Stark!Reader

Type: Angst.

Summary: Reader finds herself alone, with no explanation as to where Wanda went. And life without her was a true nightmare she could only scape with not-so-nice coping mechanisms.

Wordcount: 2644

Warnings: Drug abuse, one suicidal thought and depression.

A/N: This is my submission for @jbbarnesnnoble writing challenge! I’m so sorry for the delay. Life and work got in the middle, leaving me drained to get some actual writing done. You can search this and other works with the tag #JBBNNMHAMChallenge which deals with different types of mental healt, as to raise awarenes about it.

A/N 2: Since it’s inspired in real events, I decided to twist this and give it a happy ending. People need to know there is hope. No matter how hard life becomes, you’ve got this and you shouldn’t suffer alone. Fight your fear and seek for help. I promise, life is worth living.

A huge than you to @marvelfansince08love for enduring her patience with my rants and mini meltdown about this monster. I could never thank you enough for puting up with my dumb ass, boo. I owe you a lot! <3

If you guys want more, I might have a plot for some kind of spin-off for this story. Just let me know. Also, criticism is welcomed.

"Miss Stark," one of the executives called your attention. "Your nose is bleeding."

Automatically, your fingers found your nose and yup, it was happening. Fucking hell.

Excusing yourself, you left the conference room with rapid steps to the closest bathroom, dismissing whoever you crossed on your way. You weren't new to this, after all.

Once you got the bleeding under control, you inspected yourself in the mirror. The reflection staring back at you was nothing like your old self. The circles under the eyes needed much more concealing and your smiles were forced. But at least you picked a black blouse today, which it'll do until you got a chance to go back home and change.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home?" Julia asked sheepishly.

"No. I'm capable of handling the rest of the day," you mumbled as you finished the last touches to your make-up.

"Mr. Stark could find-"

"Mr. Stark will find out shit," you cut your assistant. "This is just a sneeze that caused a vein to pop. Understood?" You could see how the woman in front of you shivered slightly and you almost laugh at it. You've become so pity.

"Y-yes, Miss. Is there anything else I can do?"

"No." You inspected yourself in the mirror once again before walking out. "Go over the rest of my day and make sure you send the informs to Stewart."

Fortunately, the day progressed smoothly with very few bumps. And none of them were about you, so you took it as a victory.

Kicking your high heels after closing the door behind you, you started to strip while walking towards the bathroom. The weekend was finally here, which meant you could wind out and enjoy your own company. After the latest events on Beto's, you made sure to lay low for a while. You didn't need another clingy bitch hanging from you all the time. You were just a gal wanting to have some release. Nothing more, nothing less.

In the middle of your calming bath, the sharp razor you kept for emergencies caught your eyes. 'God, it'd be so easy.' You thought to yourself. Just a little line in the right place would do it. The consuming pain would disappear and you'd be free. Hell, maybe you'd find her again in the afterlife.

Before you could continue the line of thoughts, your phone rang with your dad's personalized ringtone. Something you made sure of for when you were doing not-so-nice activities.

"Hey, dad." You absentmindedly sank deeper in the tub. The bubbly water covering up to under your jaw.

"Hi, Peanut." Tony's voice soothed your damaged soul the littlest bit. "It's been a while. How are you?"

"I'm fine," you answered nonchalantly. Lying has become second nature by now. "Living the life. How are you guys?"

"That's what I called you about. Pepper and I want you to come to spend the weekend here. We barely see you outside work so we thought it'd be nice to take advantage of the long weekend. Pleeeeaaase? With a cherry on top?" He finished in a child's voice and you felt your heart squeeze itself.

Truth was, you were tired of lying all the time. You were tired of faking and saying you were okay when you weren't.

"Okay," you sighed. 

"Yay!" Yup, he was a child. "We'll get your room ready. We'll have your favorite."

You didn't know the exact moment you started crying, your dad going a mile a minute talking about his latest invention and how he'd love for you to help him figure out the last touches.

Hanging up, you finally let out the awaiting sobs. Memories of an easier -and happier- time plaguing your mind, making it harder and harder to breathe. Life without her sucked balls.

After drying yourself and throwing on a fresh pair of pajamas, you quickly fixed your bag for the weekend, knowing fully well you'll wake up with just the right spare time before you had to leave for your dad's.

The next morning, you woke up before your alarm went off, which would be fine if it weren't for Wanda appearing in your dreams. Promises of a better life and reaching milestones together, fanning the painful fire in your heart.

Walking to your stash, you retrieved the white powder, forming three consecutive lines on your nightstand. A small straw between your fingers ready to be used. You wouldn't be able to consume when you were at your dad's, so you better took your chance before it was too late. Odin knew you needed the boost.

Stopping at a random café a few blocks from your home, you quickly got yourself a black coffee and a muffin before hitting the pedal once again, changing the playlist to something more upbeat. 

Soon enough, your mind drifted to the impromptu road trips you'd do with Wanda. Sometimes even a week-long trip. Just the two of you apart from the chaos of your lives. 

Out on the road, it was only laughs, music, and fast food with the occasional make-out sessions. God, if you could, you'd live in the past forever. 

Stepping out of your car, you couldn't help the smile that broke your face. Working in the same place as your dad didn't mean you've got to see him every day. And being honest, you were happy he offered you scape from her curse.

"Hi, dad." You answered once you reached him, returning his hug. And boy, didn't you felt safe in those strong arms. They never failed to soothe you.

After what seemed like hours of walking around your dad's property, you and Pepper came back to the house ready for a refreshing iced tea. But any trace of a nice calming bath dissipated away when you say your dad standing in the middle of the living room, his face stoic.

"What's this?" The quietness of his voice freezing your blood.

"I'm waiting, Y/N." 

You cringed at your dad's voice. The disappointment showing in his eyes made you regret not checking before you grabbed a random bag for this trip.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me this is not what I think it is," he begged, showing you and Pepper the almost empty baggy between his fingers. And you ignored him. He already knew the truth, after all. "Say it," he growled.

"So the bleeding nose-"

"Screw you," you muttered, cutting Pepper mid-sentence.

"Hey! That's no way to talk to her,"

"You know what?" You walked to your dad, looking up to his eyes. "Yes, I'm an addict. Good job, Sherlock. Now you can get rid of me as you did with my mom. After all, you never wanted me in the first place, so why should it matter." You snapped with burning tears in your eyes. "There's no need to keep faking it anymore." You walked away, leaving them mouth agape, trying to process your words.

Plopping down on your bed, you couldn't help the feeling of failure igniting inside you. The tears in your eyes burning your eyes as they appeared, flowing down your cheeks as the sadness and emptiness became just too much to handle.

You didn't remember when was the last time you were genuinely happy. And it sucked that it depended on someone. It sucked and you despised it more than anything. But then again, Wanda was everything you'd need to live in this world. Always positive, with a smile so bright that could light up the darkest room. Her eyes? God, you loved losing yourself in those green orbs of hers in the afterglow. And now you had to live without all these little things that made you happy. All the little moments of joy were gone, tuning you into this sack of bones and flesh, with no expectations for life.

It wasn't till much later that night that you left your room, after ignoring your dad's callings.

Padding your way to the bar, you served yourself a whiskey. The burning on your troat a welcomed feeling. Your mind going back to her, as it was the normalcy since she dusted away, leaving you with thousands of questions and a hole in your heart that you knew well you could never fill again. How could you, when you knew she was it? how could you even try to patch it up, when you knew there was no one else like her?

One whiskey turned into 5 and you didn't know when you started to cry, considering you thought there were no tears left after all these years. But the strong hand on your shoulder made you snap from your pity party, hurriedly drying your tears. Crying was for the weak, and boy were you weak.

"I'm sorry," you drowned the last of your drink before looking up, mustering the best stoic face you could.

"You don't need to fake around me, Peanut. We're family," your dad poured you another drink as he got one himself. 

"Look, what happened with your mother has nothing to do with you." He continued once he sat beside you. "And I would never leave you alone, Y/N. No matter how many headaches you give me." He joked but composed himself when you didn't react to it. "I- Pepper is pregnant. And we really want you in the baby's life. But.. Look, if there was a way to bring her back, I would. In a heartbeat. But Y/N, you have to understand, she wouldn't like this version of you. If not for yourself, do it for us,"

You wanted to speak, you wanted to answer him. But the lump in your throat was too big to swallow and the knife in your heart twisted when you saw your dad's eyes tearing up. And fuck did it hurt. To see him cry -for the first time- pained you like hell. And knowing you were the cause of those tears made you feel like you were the worst person alive. 

"I-," you paused to gather your bearings, but your dad beat you to it.

"I know, Peanut," his arms surrounded you in that way that only him could.

"I promise you," he continued once you broke away. "One day, it will get easier. Those feelings will never fully go away, but it will get easier." He dried your tear-stained cheeks softly. "You are not alone. And she'll always be with you,"

 And despite the grief eating you from the inside, you knew you had to live. For them. For her.

The next few months had been a true rollercoaster. You didn't know the abstinence would affect you so badly. And while others would have it much worse, you couldn't help the change of moods and the few tears you caused to those around you. Not to mention, the significant drop in your moods. But you also knew better. You've kept your word, and you hadn't touched it again. 

Under Natasha's supervision, you got rid of every secret stash you had at both, your apartment and your office, and you deleted the number of your dealer. And even if sometimes it seemed like hell would manifest itself as Nat was your watcher, you couldn't be more glad because, admittedly, the woman had balls and she did knew how to bribe you, to the point that you'd even quit drinking even if it was more of a social addiction, in your case. That, mixed with Natasha's friendship and support -as well as those around you- and the birth of Morgan, your little sister had you believing once more, even if you knew you'd never get to be the same person you once were. 

The little bundle of joy had come to this world with a few rays of sunshine for you, finally opening your eyes and making you realize that there was hope. Even if you never saw her again, life was worth living and you'd live it for her at your best capacity. 

So when Pepper asked you to babysit Morgan for a few days, considering she couldn't bring a 2 months old baby with her, you accepted in a heartbeat.

But as you were awoken by a fussing Morgan, after an eventful night in which you barely slept, you realized this might've not been your brightest idea.

Inhaling deeply, you got up and walked to her room, picking her up from her crib and rocking her as you made your way to the kitchen. Babies were a fucking clock. Which only served to add to your decision of never having kids. 

If you were on the verge of tears most of the time, wishing deeply for her parents to come back so you could have time for yourself, you knew you'd be mental if you had to live through this for the rest of your life.

Your ears catching the front door opening made you stop mid singing, turning around as you walked to the hushed words as you feed a calmed down Morgan just to stop dead in your tracks when you saw her. The only reason you stood still, was the baby in your arms. 

Your eyes scanned the room, looking for a sign that this was just a dream. That the image of your girlfriend was just a projection of your mind, like so many other times before during these 5 years since she disappeared from your arms. But the silence surrounding you all and 8 pairs of eyes inspecting you made you realize that this wasn't a dream.

The cries of Morgan took you all from your reverie and soon, Pepper was by your side, taking the baby from your arms before kissing the top of your head, something she always did whenever you felt unsettled.

"Peanut-"

"Is she real?" You questioned as you scrutinized a fidgety Wanda, who stood by the door, ready to run away if needed.

Natasha could sense your turmoil growing with every single second that passed and soon enough you felt a strong pair of arms supporting you, ready to catch you if you fell.

"She's here, Maliska. We brought her back," she spoke quietly, making sure you understood her words.

The wild thoughts on your mind got you walking towards her. The need to touch her and prove yourself that she was back, got your fingers itching. You could feel the blood running in your ears and you shaking steps as you got closer to who you thought was gone forever, leaving you empty and moving through life like a zombie.

The choke that broke through you when your hand cupped her cheek got you smiling as tears rolled down with every erratic thump of your heart.

"You're here," you whispered, afraid of breaking the spell you've found yourself into. 

But you couldn't stay in that thought for long because an intimately familiar pair of arms surrounded you as Wanda threw yourself at you, hiding her face on the crook of your neck.

Feeling her hot breath against your skin was all you needed to finally give in and hold her with all you had, knowing that she was here; with you.

You didn't know how long you both stood there, holding each other and basking in the calmness that surrounded you. All your previous tormenting thoughts dissipated in that exact moment. Wanda was back and you found the hole in your heart start to fill itself.

"Hi, Printsessa," Wanda murmured against your neck, kissing her way up to your jaw, peppering your face with kisses before she finally kissed your lips. And boy, did your knees trembled.

After 5 long years, the lips you've got used to kissing whenever you pleased were once against yours, igniting all the love and hope and good things you got to feel once upon a time.

You can find the continuation, here (:

Taglist: @summergeezburr @wannabe-fic-reader @natasha-danvers @jumbojamba47 @rooskaya-yelena @sananabdliw @aaron-despair @username23345 @nate-the-dreamer @higherfurther-romanova

[featherfur]

Big Knife Meet Little Blind Ch.2

Xue Yang meets A-Qing before he meets Xiao Xingchen and decides he needs a disciple. Somehow he ends up with a kid, a heart, and an absolute mess of a cultivation world.

Warnings: Gore, Blood, Murder, Questionable Child Rearing, Xue Yang and A-Qing's potty mouth, Xue Yang isn't a good person and needs to get there, will eventually be SongXiaoXue

Read me on Ao3,

Read Chapter 1

Xue Yang returned home much more relaxed and even entertained the idea of taking his next day off to travel down to Yunmeng with A-Qing to let her try osmanthus cakes. She’d probably enjoy the river boats and he could afford a trip there and back if he annoyed Jin Guangyao into paying him early.

“A-Qing, are you still crying like a baby?” He called cheerfully towards the shack, kicking open the door and blinking when he found it completely empty.

The hearth was still cold and the soup from last night was gone so A-Qing had returned after he sent her off. The blankets for their bed were still made like A-Qing insisted on doing every morning, even the hidden pouch of money was still tucked in the jar of seasonings on the top shelf. Yet A-Qing was nowhere to be found.

Where the hell had the brat gone?

Had she run off because he scared her? If she could get over a fierce corpse devouring and murdering humans she shouldn’t be such a coward just because he got pissed and stabbed someone. It wasn’t like he was going to stab her. If he did that then he’d have to go through the trouble of finding another disciple and he liked his.

“A-Qing!” He shouted, mentally convincing himself that he wasn’t worried at all. After all, he could always get another brat right?

A second later the door swung open and he spun, Jiangzai already before him. Luckily for him, A-Qing was still much too small for his stab to be in her general area.

She collided with him forcefully and he was about to reprimand her when he realized she was clutching onto him.

“Eh? Why are you crying brat? Did you think I wasn’t coming back?” He snapped even as he sheathed Jiangzai and crouched down so he could look her over. She was fine beyond a few scratches and he rolled his eyes at her dramatics, he really should have killed her and grabbed an older brat. They didn’t cry nearly as much.

“Yang-ge, someone tried to break the door! They wanted to kill me.. They kept yelling for you. You weren’t here.” A-Qing sobbed, the irritation that rose in Xue Yang at her obnoxious crying was immediately flooded with the fury that anyone would dare scare his A-Qing. “You didn’t come home… I-I-I hid… I hid where you told me too. Then I heard you.”

Well atleast, some of his words had gotten through her thick skull.

“Who was it?” He barked, groaning when she just kept crying. He smacked her cheek and she blinked blearily up at him.

“Answer me brat, who was it?”

She shook her head, trying to tug herself closer to his chest and he pushed her back with a disgusted noise. She was covered in snot and tears and he didn’t want to have to wash his clothes so soon. It was disgusting and he liked to play with corpses.

She just snuffled loudly despite his glare and hold on her shoulders, still reaching out to him.

“I don’t know, I promise I don’t know.” She swore, grabbing hold of his forearms with a vice-like grip. It would have been impressive if she wasn’t so damn annoying.

Xue Yang stared at her, wondering if he could smack her again to make her shut up but she just blinked her white eyes at him with unwavering trust. An unfamiliar feeling built in his chest and he released his grip on her shoulders.

She rocketed into his chest with a fresh wave of sobbing, clinging onto him with a strength that surprised him. He fell back onto his ass, crossing his legs under him as A-Qing curled in his lap.

He pulled Jiangzai out as a precaution, wondering if A-Qing would panic like before. To his pleasant surprise, as soon as the blade was resting on his knee in easy reach she finally started to calm.

Her small fingers were tangled in his robes and he reached up to pat them in a move of comfort that completely surprised himself. Then again, he didn’t like breaking his own toys so treating them properly was the best way to make sure they survived. Even if he was confused by his own actions, A-Qing had started to calm and her obnoxious crying had finally ceased so Xue Yang counted it as a win.

Still, a steady wave of anger was still sliding through him. Someone had tried to break into his house and scared what was his. Even if her own clumsiness was what caused her scratches, she wouldn’t have had to run if it wasn’t for those bastards. They owed him.

Xue Yang was going to get even, tonight. He’d had a really bad day and it was time to make it someone else’s problem.

He waited for A-Qing to fall asleep before he moved back to his feet, keeping one arm under her so she could rest against his shoulder. With a child on his right and Jiangzai on his left he stepped out of the house and started to make his way around the house.

There were indeed footprints that weren’t from him, two sets in fact leading back to the local village. They weren’t familiar to him, but that just meant it wasn’t anyone from the Jin sect. There were plenty of others who wanted him dead or beaten black and blue.

He returned to the house to drop A-Qing off but she woke the moment he put her down.

“Yang-ge, are you leaving again?” She asked, her bottom lip wobbling and he poked her cheek to startle her.

“Don’t start that crying shit, got it? Yes I am, stay here.”

Rather than listening she just bolted forward to hold onto his leg instead.

“Yang-ge don’t leave me, take me with you.”

Xue Yang kicked her off, waving Jiangzai between them to keep her from trying again. Yet she still just wobbled back up to her feet with that stubborn streak that made him take her in the first place.

The temptation to give her a reason to fear Jiangzai was almost irresistible, a few more cuts wouldn’t do anything other than scare her after all. Xue Yang was good at swordsmanship, a few slices like paper cuts would be perfect for getting her to remember her place. He flicked the sword up with a twist of his wrist and was about to slice down across the reaching hand.

“You’re… going to kill them… right?” She said and Xue Yang paused long enough for her to grab his robes again and reach up towards Jiangzai. “Like earlier.”

“No, not like earlier. I’m going to kill them myself. Now let go or I’ll kill you first.” Xue Yang warned with a growl but she barely even blinked.

“Take me with you.”

That made him lower the sword with curiosity, tilting his head down at the dirty little brat he’d stuck in his house. There was a sudden panic in his mind, like when he’d come home to find A-Qing missing, at the idea of her being anywhere near murderers. She was tiny! He could kill her with a half kick to the head and she wanted to go with him?

“Why?”

“You left and it was scary.” She said simply, letting go of his robes to hold her arms up to him. “Take me with you.”

“Little Blind,” He said ignoring her scowl, “you do know I’m going to kill. Like the man before. You cried like a little bitch not even twelve hours ago.”

He remembered that she was roughly five when she just blinked up at him and waved her hands. Right. She’d watched last time.

The panic started to drain quickly and he shrugged.

Whatever. If she died then fuck her, he’d burn her corpse or bring her back for his experiments. Oh that was an idea.

He hummed to himself as he bent just enough to swipe her legs out from under her with his arm and leave her perched on his hip and elbow.

If she died she could make a wonderful little subject to see about finally recreating a conscious corpse like the Ghost General. It really was too bad that he was completely loyal to Wei Wuxian, Xue Yang could have used a babysitter.

“If you start crying I’ll leave you in the chest cavity after I break it open.” Xue Yang threatened her and she just gave him that same confused blink. He scoffed and grabbed a cloak to toss over her and made his way out.

He was going to have to fix her poor vocabulary soon. She was great at playing a beggar for a kid, but she really missed the point of his threats and that wasn’t going to stand.

“Do you remember what the bastards sounded like? The ones who came looking for me,” Xue Yang added irritably when she continued her blinking habit. That jogged her memory and she nodded, looking out towards the approaching town.

Night had already started to fall and the last rays of light were quickly disappearing as lanterns were lit instead. Xue Yang grumbled to himself as he realized the footprints would soon be invisible but he couldn’t risk putting A-Qing down for a fire talisman or to sheathe Jiangzai even for a few seconds.

“He… He sounded like the… the…” A-Qing pouted as she tried to remember and Xue Yang suddenly understood why people found kid’s cute. If she wasn’t so annoying, A-Qing would be adorable for a little stray, she was just like a cat that never shut up.

“The pig man!” A-Qing finally declared happily, smiling at Xue Yang and lost the adorable look when Xue Yang just felt annoyed instead.

“I thought you said you didn’t know who they were.”

“I don’t. One of them sound like the pig man… He wasn't the pig man.”

Xue Yang jerked his arm to make her squeal in fear of being dropped. Then he realized what it was that she was saying.

“You mean he has the same accent as the butcher?”

Right, Xue Yang thought as she blinked blankly at him, she’s five she doesn’t know what accent means.

“You have the ugliest face.” He finally told her, grumbling when her thin fingers shoved into his cheek.

“Yang-ge don’t be mean to A-Qing.” She admonished like it was bath day and not a trip to kill a man.

“Okay brat, I get it, keep your hands off my face or I’ll bite them off.” He snapped his teeth in her direction and she retracted her hands quickly with puffy cheeks and pouty lips. The second time wasn’t nearly as adorable but when she reached to wrap her arms around his neck again he let her without question.

Honestly he was waiting for her to fall asleep on his shoulder so he just evened out his footsteps and made his way through the back alley’s to the butchershop.

“Don’t make any noise unless I tell you too.” He warned, waiting until she nodded that she understood before he finally stepped behind the shop itself.

The candlelight wasn’t very bright so Xue Yang slipped closer, peering through the window at the small group. At first he only recognized the butcher himself, then he realized he did know the other two.

They weren’t anyone important but a few years ago Xue Yang had gutted their sister for smacking him, he hadn’t realized he’d been seen at all. They must have been hunting him since then and only just now caught up after he got stuck long-term in this damned town. He would have to clean that up eventually anyways.

Talk about two birds with one stone, he thought to himself and turned to lower A-Qing to the ground.

“Are you going to help me? Or do you just wanna watch?” He whispered and she shrank down against the wall of the house before reaching out to pat the hilt of Jiangzai. “Good girl, wait right here for Yang-ge.”

He straightened with a grin, patting her once on the head before sliding open the door silently and strolling through.

“Hello you two, I heard you were looking for me.” He chirped excitedly, holding up the well-known blade. “Really, you could have just left a note.”

“You.” One snarled.

“Xue Yang.” The other said and Xue Yang rolled his eyes, chuckling at their posturing.

“Don’t dirty my name, I’m rather fond of it.” He hummed, almost seeming to glide over the floor towards them as they stumbled back. “Actually, let me correct myself. You should have just left a note. Then I’d maybe be able to bring myself to be a bit merciful, Jin Guangyao’s been teaching me all about it.”

“Will you just- Shut up!” The butcher’s voice joined the mess and Xue Yang glanced at the knife he was wielding.

A loud laugh bubbled up as he saw it, swinging Jiangzai to point at the taller one.

“You really think you can do anything to me?” In response the knife came flying at his head and he sighed softly. A simple lean was all that was needed to leave the blade well out of range of his head and it struck the wall behind him instead.

“Now, I need a volunteer.” He said with another step forward. “See, my kid’s still new to all of this but she needs to learn, so who wants to help me teach her the different arteries to cut? The other two I’ll kill a little faster.”

“You killed our sister, after we kill you we’ll get your little brat and return the favor.” The youngest brother yelled in outrage, brandishing his own sword. It wavered in the air almost shaking as much as his owner was.

The smile disappeared from Xue Yang’s face and he flashed forward. With two strokes blood spurted from the two others’ throats. He left only the youngest to cower with a scream that was silenced a moment later when Xue Yang’s fingers grabbed his tongue and with a single slice was tossed behind him. The wail was easily stuffed out with a handful of the bastard’s own robes, forcing them down his throat until he choked and gagged.

“Found my volunteer.” Xue Yang pulled him to his knees by his hair, waiting impatiently for the neighbors knocking to cease. When no one answered they dispersed with mumbles about rowdy visitors and summoning the guards to complain.

Xue Yang dragged the man through the bloody mess on the floor, glancing back at the corpses with a mournful air.

If only I hadn’t brought A-Qing, then I’d have two new subjects to play with.

He hummed as he stood in the middle of the room, realizing that this was one of those moments that Jin Guangyao had told him about. Ones where Xue Yang should have planned better before jumping into slaughter.

He wanted to take his time and teach A-Qing a thing or two, but the bastard crying on the floor had warned everyone. If Xue Yang brought him back home to teach, then he’d have to deal with the smell of blood in his house and the potential of Jin disciples finding the body.

Jin Guangyao should be proud, Xue Yang thought proudly as he dropped the man on the ground and promptly sat on his stomach, I’m thinking it through and everything.

“A-Qing, come here.” He called, waving her forward and holding his arms open to tempt her even further. As expected, she bolted into his arms without a care for the carnage around her.

“Good girl, now, I’m going to show you this trick.”

A-Qing flinched slightly when the man they were sitting on wailed against the robe. Then she scowled and leaned over him to smack his cheek like Xue Yang did to her earlier. This one was much harsher than Xue Yang had been but it still managed to make the man freeze.

“Good girl,” Xue Yang cheered, the vicious mood from earlier seeming to dissipate as he squeezed her cheek. “Very good, now, listen to Yang-ge.”

A-Qing nodded her head rapidly as Xue Yang moved over the struggling man to trace a nail over his carotid artery with a rather proper explanation of death by exsanguination if he said so himself. He followed the man’s neck down to his windpipe, explaining how to slice it properly. The man still writhed so Xue Yang clamped down on his throat, squeezing it until the body spasmed and stopped moving.

“And that is choking. Don’t worry about that right now, you’re too tiny to do it.” Xue Yang said, tilting his head to listen to the slow moving footsteps of whatever the villagers had managed to gather for a guard to check. He sighed, resigning himself to bringing her to one of his experiments later and scooting her off to stand.

He twirled Jiangzai, humming to himself as he felt its blood lust, and held it against the unconscious man’s neck.

“Well? Do you remember what I just taught you?”

A-Qing glanced back and forth between the two of them with visible hesitation. Xue Yang supposed this could be a little fast, she’d only seen her first murder earlier in the day after all.

I’ll read those damn child raising books when I get home, maybe I should wait until she’s atleast six before committing human murder. Jin Guangyao said that was harder for most people to do.

Even as he planned to kill the man himself, A-Qing’s hand moved to Xue Yang’s and held the hilt of Jiangzai. She pushed carefully until the sword was just over the artery just like Xue Yang had taught her, then she plunged it forward.

Her white eyes were glowing with fascination as blood bubbled around the wound and, when Xue Yang pulled out, the way it sprayed before Xue Yang covered her from it with his black sleeve. Still, she moved to peek over his arm when it finally stopped spurting over them. She blinked in her curious way at the corpse then scowled over at Xue Yang.

“Your robe is all dirty. It’s bath day.” She said seriously, just like Xue Yang would say when he came home to find her filthy.

Xue Yang was in such a good mood he could only scoop her up as he sheathed Jiangzai and laugh as he skipped to the door. He paused midway through and bounced back to grab the purse on the butcher and the package before bolting as the acting guards started to bang on the door.

“Oops.” He hummed, looking around the alley before kicking off to land on the roof next door. Perhaps he didn’t think things through like he thought he did.

Whatever, He slipped the purse into his robe and started back towards home. He jumped on three more houses before deciding that was good enough and leaping to the ground to walk the rest of the way.

“Yang-ge?” A-Qing said sleepily against his shoulder. “Can I go to work with you again?”

“Sure, kid, I’ll bring you again later.” He hummed to himself, cheerfully waving the package of whatever he’d stolen through the air. He debated on chucking it against a tree just to see its contents but A-Qing’s sleepy snuffles distracted him instead.

She’d done so well already, this disciple shit really was working out a lot better than he thought it would. He was surprised she hadn’t even sobbed but then again, he hadn’t cried after his first kill either and he was only two years older than her then.

He glanced down at her as she promptly passed out, completely comfortable and safe in the arms of a murderer.

So this is why people have kids, they’re actually kind of cute when they listen.

He would have to figure out something about leaving her alone in case other enemies showed up, but maybe if he dug at the Ghost General enough he would finally get that ghost babysitter.

He almost turned to head towards the experimentation compound but a single glance at A-Qing’s sleeping form made him turn back towards home.

That can wait until tomorrow, A-Qing needs more sleep than me.