#words of kai

[distant-velleity]

nkasjdfhksjdfhkasjfdhaldsfskdfas

theyre all so cute i cant with this game hnfksjdhfkgsjgsf

silver wrapping his blazer around his tsum... jamil pondering the orb tsum .... ACES STUPID DORK LAUGH (affectionate). dies

[resqectable]

But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.

Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye

[vidduality]

SPOILERS for Episode 6 of the Avatar Live Action series

AKA why this episode makes me SO grateful for this adaptation (re: the Zuko flashbacks and the Agni Kai).

----

Wow.

I admit, I was really worried at the idea that Zuko might potentially fight back in the Agni Kai against his father in the live action. I expected to HATE it, and it's certainly a bold change, but it fits in SO WELL with why Zuko is the way that he is (and why he works so hard to push down his empathy whenever Aang tries to reason with him).

The Agni Kai - Zuko obviously did NOT want to fight his father. He still tried to apologize and beg for mercy, but in the end he was just too terrified of his father to disobey a direct order.

But when Ozai left him an opening to see what he'd do with it, Zuko couldn't bring himself to actually land a blow that might burn him. Making his lack of ruthlessness the weakness that Ozai ends up mutilating him for - even straight up telling Zuko that compassion is weakness and then demonstrating by holding his own child down and lighting him on fire - adds a layer of depth that only enhances the original scene (and in another stroke of genius, we see Ozai nearly in tears himself. He's convincing himself of this lesson as well as Zuko, which was likely passed down to him by his own father). Honestly, this to me is even more heartbreaking than Ozai burning him for refusing to stand and fight. Zuko did everything his father asked and he still failed, because his family has distorted what it means to be honorable and believes Zuko's capacity for mercy to be a shameful weakness unbecoming of an heir to the throne.

The 41st Division - And here come the waterworks. Assigning the very people Zuko was hurt so severely for trying to save to his ship as it's being cast out of the fire nation (presumably forever, with the Avatar not having been seen in 100 years) is SUCH a brilliant addition. His crew resents Zuko for being stuck on this impossible mission with this bratty, angry child. And Zuko is too ashamed of his "weakness" to explain why they were assigned to him.

I can totally see Zuko's hurt at their lack of respect making him even more angry (especially after everything he went through to save them from being sacrificed), and his seemingly irrational anger at them just continuing to make them resent him more in a neverending feedback loop of anger and disrespect that's been growing and festering for 3 years.

Which makes the scene at the end when Zuko's crew finally learns about how he saved their lives (as well as why he's obsessed with the avatar, why he's banished, what his scar means and why he's trying so very hard to rid himself of empathy, even if he can never quite manage it when it counts) so much more impactful. I SOBBED when the 41st Division stood at attention and showed him their utmost respect and loyalty, possibly for the first time since they've been on that ship. Zuko's soft "what's going on?" at finally being honored by his crew is just imprinted on my brain.

The seed of the idea that his compassion may NOT actually be what was shameful about his banishment afterall can finally begin to take root.

I just, damn, I love this episode so much.

[thoughtkick]

But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.

Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye

[agustdiv1ne]

txt finding out you have an onlyfans...

OH FUCK. OKAY! i think all of them would be shocked in some capacity hmm let's get into it (rest of the members under the cut!)

yeonjun would find it when the two of you are still just friends, videos of you fucking open your pretty pussy with dildos that almost look too big for you to take. he subscribes before he even realizes it's you, mostly because you only ever posted things from the waist down, but one day you get bold and post a full body shot. your face is out of frame, but he could recognize that chain around your neck anywhere, the friendship necklace he gifted you all those years ago, dangling so prettily between your breasts as you ride a ridged dildo til your legs are quaking. it's in that moment that he realizes that he's been jerking off to you for months, imagining your pussy wrapped around his cock when he so desperately needs to get off, and god, he wants to fuck you so badly now, make you his. guilt begins to eat at him as he continues to stroke his aching cock to the video, your moans growing louder and more ruined — but when he hears you whisper his name, barely there if you weren't truly listening, he immediately spills all over his hand. fuck. fuck, you think about him when you're doing this — and suddenly the guilt inside him vanishes. you're his, and he's gonna show you the next time you come over

soobin would accidentally walk in on you filming yourself one day when he quietly entered your apartment since you gave him a spare key. poor baby, he'd immediately begin to apologize, slapping his hands over his eyes as he rushes to leave, but your pitchy whine of his name makes him pause. with his back facing you, he asks what you need, his cock growing painfully hard as you beg him to help you, that the small dildo that you're fucking yourself with isn't enough. "please soobin," you whine. "need you so bad." and fuck, okay, soobin's not gonna pass this opportunity up, not when he's been crushing on you for months now. he climbs into your bed, towering over you with cheeks as red as rubies, feeling as if he's dreaming — until the blinking red light from your camera catches his eye. he glances over at it, and you hurriedly explain what you do as a side hustle, scrambling to go to turn it off, but his big, strong hands stop you. looking back at him, you find his eyes have darkened, his presence looming over you as he tells you to keep it on. the next day, your highest tier subscribers get a video of soobin's head between your legs, hair covering his eyes as the obscene, wet noises of his tongue playing with your clit mix with your breathy moans

beomgyu (who's your roommate) would, similar to soobin, stumble upon you fingering yourself in front of a camera — but he'd go about it in a completely different way. he's such an icky, closeted perv, watching you through the crack in your barely open door as you fall over the edge, hiccupy sobs pouring from your lips as you overstimulate yourself. his cock twitches in his pants, and he takes no time shoving a hand beneath his boxers, stroking his cock at the same rhythm as the fingers plunging in and out of your walls, the sloppy sounds of your pussy pushing him towards release faster than he expected. it becomes routine, coming home quietly on days he knows that you film just to watch you — but you're not stupid, no, you know that he's been watching you...and so you leave your door open a little wider the next time, inviting him in and asking if he liked seeing all your content for free, asking him how he's gonna repay you...and when he takes the camera from your tripod, spreads your legs wide, and shoves his boxers to down to reveal his aching, red-tipped cock, you bite your lip and demand that he puts it in already. he becomes your personal cameraman as he fucks you, grunting out how his cock must be so much better than your smaller fingers, filming your fucked out expression as you beg for him to cum inside

you would ask taehyun what he thinks about onlyfans when your relationship with him starts to grow more serious, looking to gauge his reaction. he's smart, though; you should've known he would figure it out right after you ask him. "are you trying to tell me you have one?" he would ask with an eyebrow raised, and you lowkey freak out and say that it's just a hypothetical question. just from your reaction alone, it's so obvious that you do. while taehyun might be a little jealous, he's a lot more turned on at the thought, ordering you to come sit in his lap while he tells you that he doesn't mind if you do have one — he knows you'll always be loyal, after all. he trusts you. he asks questions about it, and as you tell him what kind of content you film, face growing hotter, you feel his cock harden beneath you, and then his hands begin to guide your hips over him. you stutter through your sentence when he bucks his hips up to grind his boner into your covered pussy, gasping as his motions grow more brazen. it ends with you dry humping him on your couch, exchanging slow, spit-slicked kisses until the both of you cum in your pants. a hand travels up to your throat before you can even catch your breath, his voice deep as he asks if you think your subscribers would like couple's content

kai is not as innocent as he seems, getting off to videos of women humping cute lil stuffies until they orgasm, clips of them playing with their tits until they're swollen and achy, one little touch can set them off...god, they're so hot, but all he can think about is you whenever he watches them, his cute, bubbly best friend. imagine his surprise when he finds your onlyfans one day — and that's the exact content you produce. the first video of you he stumbles upon is one of you playing with your clit at first, before you're sitting up on your knees and placing a stuffie between your legs and. wait. holy. fucking. shit. that's the one he gifted you last week. the one he sprayed with his cologne because you've told him how much you love it. kai's cock twitches at the sight, gulping as you begin to moan and whine, hips moving faster against the soft material until your crying, whispering that it's too much. he nearly cums untouched as you quake above the toy, toppling over the edge as your torso collapses into the bed, but you don't stop. not until you've cum three times just with his little gift. he's slack jawed, drool pooling under his tongue at the tantalizing sight of you spreading your lower lips to show the camera the sticky mess between your thighs. he subscribes immediately, hoping that you don't recognize his user, pengning02. with plans to hang out with you later that night, he's anxious the rest of the day — but when your hangout ends with your pussy smothering his face and your tongue dragging along his cock, kai realizes that maybe, just maybe, you need him just as badly as he needs you

[rotten-dan]

very old sloppy comic i drew because I wanted to draw sibling hugs and it got out of hand ´ `) i like thinkin abt em...

[cassettemoon]

You are eight years old

You have to kill your dad

[thehopefulquotes]

Forgive yourself for the decisions you have made, the ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night.

Sarah Kay, No Matter the Wreckage

[xjustakay]

jegulus micro(?)fic — 2,213 words. nsfw; the ‘James-desperately-needs-something-in-his-mouth’ episode (dedicated to my dear darling @imdamagecontrol<3)

James’ hands flex in and out of fists behind his back, wrists straining against silk tied in a firm knot around them. In reality, if he squirmed enough he could probably worm his way out of the restraint, it’s just one of Regulus’ ties, after all. But that’s not really the point.

The point, actually, is that James needs this.

He’s been so stressed lately, juggling more than he can properly carry, and it’s started to weigh on him. Make him overwhelmed. Change his mood enough to be apparent. Typically, he does a good job at hiding it, but some days…

Some days the itch beneath his skin gets a little too insistent. Some days his tone turns clipped and his mannerisms become twitchy and all that he feels is suddenly visible. 

And those days, well. Those days pile up, to the point that he needs a good break.

Regulus doesn’t particularly enjoy it when he lets himself get so deep in it —there’s been pointed comments about taking care of himself over the last couple days as he’s noticed progressive changes in James. So when James had come home today after yet another long one, feeling ready to tear right out of his own skin, he’d asked.

“Can you take care of me tonight?”

Once he’d made sure he understood what it was James was asking for, Regulus was quick to give him just what he needed. A loose hold at his throat, a level stare as he pulled him inches away from his face.

A promise between the lines of Regulus’ murmured, “Be good and wait for me.”

He’d waited on the floor at the foot of the bed for ten minutes after stripping down to just his briefs, knees twinging as he tried to balance his weight more comfortably. Then Regulus had come in, wordlessly giving him a once-over before he undressed. He’d muttered gentle praises when James had let him tug both arms behind his back, Regulus securing his tie around his wrists.

Now, a familiar hand brushes his cheek, trails down to his neck. Regulus thumbs at his Adam’s apple and James swallows beneath it, staring at the jut of Regulus’ hip bone where he stands in front of him.

“Alright?” Regulus checks, hand curling loosely around his throat, pulling him close again, just like earlier.

James inhales deeply where his nose presses right above Regulus’ navel. He leaves a gentle kiss there, nods his head. The hand at his throat tightens.

“Use your words,” Regulus instructs.

“I’m good.” 

James traces his tongue downward, through the thin trail of dark hair that disappears beneath the waistband of Regulus’ briefs. He catches the elastic between his teeth, tugs at it, lets it snap back against porcelain skin. Ducking lower, James mouths at the outline of Regulus’ cock, tongue wetting the fabric and feeling the way he’s slowly filling out under the attention. Regulus allows it for a few seconds more, a low hum leaving him that has heat pooling low in James’ stomach.

The pressure at James’ throat shifts and Regulus’ fingers sink into his dark hair, grip slowly tightening, palm a solid weight at the nape of his neck. His other hand tucks beneath James’ chin, his head guided into tilting backward between the two. James blinks slow, looks up toward Regulus’ face from beneath his lashes. Breathes deep. Waits.

“What do you need tonight, James?” Regulus asks; his voice is honey, thick and sweet and dripping warmth down every groove of James’ spine.

He keeps James’ chin in the curl of his fingers but stretches his thumb to trace a slow circle around his mouth. He leaves it pressed against James’ bottom lip, James darting his tongue out at it for the briefest taste. One brow arches as Regulus looks down at him.

“Something in your mouth, maybe?” 

When all James does his nod, Regulus tugs sharply at the back of his hair —an unspoken demand. James’ mouth drops open, a soft gasp between parted lips.

“Yes,” He whines. “Please.”

“There you go, baby, that’s so good,” Regulus hums.

James’ lips twitch helplessly when Regulus moves to readjust his glasses for him. It’s such a tiny gentleness, a common show of his care for him, no matter how out of place it may seem in a moment like this. 

The fond appreciation that unfurls warmth in his chest is derailed in seconds by the shift of Regulus’ foot, nudging between his thighs, pressing. James’ eyelids flutter as he sucks in a shallow breath. His hips twitch forward against the barely-there pressure on his cock, hard and aching in his own briefs.

“Do you think you deserve it?” Regulus asks. 

He tugs at James’ hair again to jerk his head back further, presses his foot more firmly between his legs. James is already starting to feel dizzy with it; the waiting, the care, the teasing, all building into a burning buzz that’s much more pleasant than the anxious itch that’s bothered him for days. He rocks against Regulus’ foot with a shaking, needy sound crawling up his throat.

“I need it, baby.”

“But that’s not what I asked this time, is it?” Regulus counters, tone vaguely patronizing.

It shouldn’t make James’ cock twitch the way that it does, really. Shouldn’t make him unable to bank a whimper when he rocks his hips forward again.

“Do you think you deserve it?” Regulus repeats. He inches his foot away, and James whines in protest. “God, listen to you. You really do need it, don’t you?”

James nods urgently, breath hitching in his chest. “I do. Please, Regulus.”

It’s a miracle he doesn’t whimper another time when Regulus takes a small step backward, all touch falling away from him. The silver lining is watching him tuck a thumb into either side of the band on his briefs, pulling them down and stepping out of them.

Wanting eyes immediately land on Regulus’ cock the second it’s in front of him. Even the huff of Regulus chuckling above him doesn’t draw his focus away. He watches intently as Regulus wraps a hand around himself and strokes slowly.

Blown pupils hide nearly all the grey of Regulus’ irises when James finally glances up at his face again. He shifts up straighter on his knees, mouth falling open already when Regulus steps forward. A smirk tugs at the corners of Regulus’ lips and his free hand sinks into James’ hair.

He pauses in guiding his cock to James’ waiting mouth, slick head nudging his bottom lip. “What do you say?”

“Thank you.” Punches breathlessly out of James in an instant.

Regulus’ smirk inches wider and he gives a single nod. It’s all the go ahead James needs to tilt forward and finally —finally— take him into his mouth. The grip in his hair tightens as James swallows his length down, letting the weight of him settle on his tongue. He hums appreciatively around him, keeping his motions shallow to hit the back of his throat each time.

Despite the tight hold on his hair, Regulus lets James move as desired. His wrists strain against the silk around them when he instinctively wants to reach forward and balance his hands on Regulus’ thighs, but he’ll make do. He always does.

After a little while, Regulus’ other hand joins the first in his hair. He halts James’ continued movements and holds him in place. 

James moans the second he starts fucking into his mouth, eyes rolling back. There’s spit collected at the corners of his mouth, sliding down his chin. Each snap of Regulus’ hips has his cock hitting the back of his throat, his moans turning garbled and wet —filthy— while Regulus looses a winded string of swears.

“This— fuck—” Regulus hisses when he thrusts forward again and James swallows, letting him feel the way his throat tightens. “This is exactly what you needed, isn’t that right, baby?”

James hums his answer, eyelids fluttering as he opens glassy eyes to look up. There’s tears building at the corners, and on a particularly hard snap of Regulus’ hips one rolls hotly down his cheek. His cheeks burn, that and the panted breaths out his nose fogging up the bottom of his glasses lenses.

James doesn’t fucking care. He doesn’t care about any of it. Let Regulus make a complete mess of him. Let Regulus use him as he sees fit. 

This is all James wanted, what he needed. To release the tension he’s been feeling for days, to give up the vice grip he’s tried to maintain on control of anything at all. To be taken care of in this way; something filling his mouth and Regulus just taking from him.

He knows when Regulus is close; words are no longer manageable and his thighs tremble, thrusts becoming erratic. James expects him to come down his throat, is awaiting the burst of warmth, ready to eagerly swallow all he has to give him. But abruptly, Regulus yanks at his hair with both hands, tugging him off.

James whines brokenly, a thick string of drool connecting the corner of his mouth and Regulus’ cock. His throat is wrecked; it’s a pitiful, pathetic sounding thing when he manages a desperate, “No.”

Panting, Regulus shakes his head back and forth. One hand moves from James’ hair, thumb breaking the string of spit when he smears the slickness surrounding James’ mouth. Making an even bigger mess of him. James licks after it, twists his tongue around it, trying to be enticing, trying to get him back inside.

Regulus drops his hand entirely, grips his cock instead. He stares intently down at him, demands from between his teeth, “Keep your tongue out for me.”

Wanting to be good and knowing what’s next, James obliges. Regulus drags his hand in hurried tugs over his cock and he watches hungrily. Anticipation burns a fire in James’ veins, sends his pulse roaring in his ears, as he waits, spit pooling in his open mouth, dripping more down his chin. 

It’s a minute more before Regulus cries out, head thrown back and hips lurching forward as he comes. Hot strips of white land on James’ top lip, his tongue, his glasses. Cum drips down the one lens to land on his cheek and James can’t hold back a whimper, mouth still open. He hasn’t been told to close it yet.

“Fucking Christ,” Regulus groans, hand slowing over himself as he comes down from his orgasm. 

His chest is as flushed as his face, heaving with uneven breaths, and he’s fucking gorgeous like this. Wrung out and a little wobbly on his legs, shiny-eyed and out of breath. James feels just as high as Regulus looks. Even with his cock still painfully hard and leaking in his briefs, his knees throbbing when he shifts his weight for the first time in too long.

Regulus finally lets go of his length, gripping James’ slick chin instead. He swipes his thumb through the cum on James’ lip, his cheek. Collects what he can from his face, and dips a little into James’ waiting mouth to wipe it off onto his tongue a few times. Gathering as much as he can for him.

Finally, Regulus tells him, “Swallow, baby.”

James does without hesitation, moaning at the familiar taste down his throat. There’s still cum on his glasses, blurrily obscuring his view of Regulus on the one side when he blinks heavy lidded eyes up at him.

“You did so good, James.” The praise has James’ lips curling in a lopsided smile, dazed in the best way. He hums his thanks, throat too sore for immediate words, but Regulus doesn’t demand that of him this time. “Do you feel better?”

It’s a mockery of a bobble head on a dashboard when James nods hurriedly in answer. His head’s a little fuzzy still, breath slowly returning to normal for himself. A different high entirely for his comedown.

“Come on.” Regulus bends down to help James to his feet then reaches behind him to undo the tie from his wrists. “We should clean you up, you’re a mess.”

“Good,” James replies, voice rough, lazy grin widening.

Regulus rolls his eyes, but there’s no denying the affection in his gaze. He rubs at James’ wrists when his hands are brought between them and James hums quietly.

“I’ll take care of you in the shower, okay?” He murmurs, eyes darting downward.

“Y’already did, baby,” James points out.

Regulus lifts a brow. “Sorry, did you not also feel like coming tonight?”

James clears his throat in order to more clearly joke, “I think if you so much as breathed on my cock right now it’d probably be over for me.”

Shaking his head, Regulus snorts, muttering a fond ‘idiot’ beneath his breath. He leans in to press a kiss to James’ cheek, recoiling when James turns his head and nuzzles into the side of his neck, smearing leftover drool on his skin.

“Go. Bathroom, now.” Regulus points to the open bedroom door, but the control in his voice is gone; it’s half a laugh —blushing and breathless and beautiful.

James smiles adoringly at him, gives him a mock salute, and follows his instruction just the same.

[perfectfeelings]

Breathe, until you remember how it feels to be alive.

Kai Masa

[perfectquote]

There is a girl who still writes to you; she doesn’t know how not to.

Sarah Kay // Postcards

[distant-velleity]

oughhhgghh i have Ideas for yu’s overblot boss fight ……..

[feliks-grayscayl]

some ninjago fic recommendations i have

I've been writing down ninjago fics on ao3 in my notes app and i might as well post them here. there is about 75 of them as of now idk

i will be adding as i read

NO LLORUMI OR LLOYD X NINJA

some of these you'll need an ao3 acc to access

‌"Meet Again" by northpen - Zane and Cole can't die. They can be killed but not die of natural causes. 3000 years into the future they meet their friends again [this fic left me in shambles for a few days in the best way possible] (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308709/chapters/27981705…)

‌"The Grass is Always Greener" by Sunnylighter - pre-tea Lloyd switches places with post-movie Lloyd, now show!ninja and movie!Lloyd have to find a way to the movieverse; a lot of references to different media along the way (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18779539/chapters/44553559…)

‌"If you could date any of the ninja, which one would you date?" by Pyr0_Kat - movieverse pre-movie, the exact question gets asked during a class (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661316#main…)

‌"Green Empathy" by Nation_Ustria - movieverse 3 oneshots series pre-movie and pre identities reveal, Lloyd Garmadon is both the Green Ninja and the most hated person in Ninjago City and also an empath (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178393)

"Visionary" by K1ngtok1 - the ninja are forced to see, spectate the events that blocked their Full Potentials. They talk it out (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38732838/chapters/96844887…)

"Those Linked By Destiny" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - movieverse, how the ninja met even before they were ninja (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26303986/chapters/64045669…)

"Unfamiliar With What's Not Mine" by AlexaAffect - after Tomorrow's Tea Lloyd feels like his body isn't his anymore. Kai helps him see it is; brotherly feels (https://archiveofourown.org/works/37520761)

"An Impromptu Little Brother" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - set in s1, Kai decides to become lil Lloyd's big brother (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238865)

"A Strange Bet" by ilovelegendsalot - the ninja make the bet that whoever finds out the samurai x's identity is the Green Ninja. While staying at the Bounty with Nya, Lloyd starts to notice a few things (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715200)

‌"The Sun Rises Every Single Night" by Fabro-de-omres (Fabro) - time travel, post s6 Lloyd lands in s2 time (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530306/chapters/69911859…)

"Ruler From Another Realm" by CyberSearcher -Nice Ice Emperor AU, when Zane lands in the Never Realm he doesn't immediately find and try to repair the mech, instead he finds a village (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239126/chapters/55643689…)

‌"Land Of The Living" and "Shores of Restless Souls" by CaptainBrookeworm - Morro is brought back to life by a scientist using Lloyd's energy; eventual cousins vibes; Morro redemption with Lloyd and the team (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2524495)

‌"Prodigal Prince" by TeuthidaRegina - movie verse au, Lloyd lives with his father. Has hybrid features but can shift into a human form. As Lloyd he's a feared warlord in the making, son of Garmadon. As Green he's Ninjago's greatest hero and protector. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/41470281/chapters/103999554…)

‌"Reference Letters" by Fabro-de-omres (Fabro) - movieverse pre-movie - Kai is tasked by Green to find someone who could join the Ninja Force. He thinks Lloyd is a perfect candidate (https://archiveofourown.org/works/41823636)

"You Give Me The Strength I Need (To Cry)" by fruitcasket & "And there you were" by Cherry_dynamite - we touch on Lloyd's trauma and him seeing Kai as a father figure (https://archiveofourown.org/works/35553694/chapters/88633630…) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39483225/chapters/98822580…)

"Secret Flame" by ObsessedBee - college au, no powers, everyone is human, lavashipping getting together; **warning for sexual themes** (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31559843/chapters/78080618…)

"Fear and Loathing" by ObsessedBee - series of one shots to "Secret Flame", the main 7's problems, bad habits and traumas and them sorta dealing with them; **mind the warnings** (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38156269/chapters/95323741…)

"Just a Little Bit Before" by Evil_Potato Ninja - Morro is back as a ghost before s1 and finds lil Lloyd living on the streets; green cousins (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44882287/chapters/112927045…)

"forget-me-not" by lloydenthusiast - greenflowershipping one shot, after 10 years they meet again (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45058972)

‌"marigold" by lloydenthusiast - greenflowershipping, probably post crystalized, Lloyd struggles with a lot, he and Brad meet by accident. They both struggle with a lot; **mind the warnings** (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45814168/chapters/115296334…)

‌"Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die" by BumblebeeEnby - Morro centric, eventual citrusshipping, he's brought back but literally into his own skeleton; Morro redemption (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320173/chapters/72007536…)

"Taking Shape, Letting Go" by BumblebeeEnby - set after "Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die", having discovered his dragoni origin Lloyd's body starts suddenly changing (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46434775)

"Way of the 21st century ninja", sequel "Born to be a 21st century ninja" and other works in series "The Surprising Life of Jesse Marvel" and "Legacy Sidestories" by weekend-whip (nightbreakers) - all are mix of show and movie verses, canon rewrite with attention to a lot of minor things and very interesting concepts expanded upon, Jesse is an oc however he fits into the story amazingly (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742124/chapters/70476210…) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/34013053/chapters/84598372…) (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2946552) (https://archiveofourown.org/series/3113685)

"Undo the Golden" by GigglingAsIfIdidntWriteThis - crystalized ended BADLY and Lloyd managed to go back in time to the beginning of s1 to try and save everyone including himself (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45778291/chapters/115202566…)

"The Color of Glory" by banannamuffin - AU, Lloyd is an orphan in the foster system where he meets Harumi who he now sees as a sister. Then he finds out he's supposed to be the Green Ninja and that a group called Sons of Garmadon is on the rise (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44138211/chapters/110989083…)

"On the Outside" by SunflowerAro - set in early s1, lil Lloyd doesn't trust the ninja he has to live with. Slowly that trust is built and traumas acknowledged (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44929669/chapters/113050273…)

‌"All of Their Interests" by ilovelegendsalot - ninja bonding with lil Lloyd over things they enjoy (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18958873/chapters/45014614#workskin…)

"All the work, None of the money" by SirShroomie - short, kai-centric, we delve a bit more into his life and struggles before he became a ninja (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42818652/chapters/107565903…)

"Five Times Everyone Thought The Green Ninja Was Dating Lloyd Garmadon" by Anonymous - movie fic, secret identities au, exactly what the title says (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44554888)

"Lloyd Gets a Ransom Note" by BumblebeeEnby - post crystalized, Lloyd gets "invited" to a dinner with his dad and Vinny; survivalshipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45267544)

‌"we've all got scars" by brainrotprofessional - short Lloyd and Kai brothers trans interaction (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45679432)

"Shogun: Becoming" by NickelWick - instead of Zane being sent to the Never-Realm, Kai is sent into the movieverse (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44418760/chapters/111722089…)

"Enchanted Opportunities" by Arco_Harrison03 - if marrying a Djinn gives him unlimited wishes, what happens to you when you kill one? (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42570066/chapters/106927911…)

‌"Thank You, For Giving Me Wings" by weekend-whip (nightbreakers) - Wu POV of how he's come to see the ninja as his kids and they him as their father figure (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39650496/chapters/99260295…)

‌"Say You Won't Let Go" by orphan_account - as Jaya wedding gets close everyone tries to get Kai and Cole together bc apparently they don't know they love each other and everyone else does; lavashipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606391/chapters/44112619…)

"We Saved Each Other" by orphan_account - continuation of "Say You Won't Let Go" but about a year later. now it's Cole's time to ask the question; lavashipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19191547)

‌"Everybody Talks Too Much" by letters_from_elwind - lavashipping one-shot taking place in s8 together with the scene where Cole sings but it's "Everybody Talks" instead (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38946051#main…)

"Everhearth" by Butterpony100 - takes place after Nya is brought back but the Crystal King doesn't happen; seabound Kai au with lavashipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42634206/chapters/107094609…)

"The Rights Of A Nindroid" by Anonymous - what if after Dr Julien's death, the government considered Zane its legal property, he's a robot afterall; **mind the warnings** + with a sequel (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669479/chapters/70281465…)

"just the two of us (we can make it if we try)" by writing_hat - lavashipping fic, pre and post s7, two pining idiots; **mild sexual content** (https://archiveofourown.org/works/47800510?view_adult=true#main…)

‌"The little things" by newtlovesyouso - lil Lloyd starting to trust the ninja as he lives with them. Should be early s1 but the small events indicating the timeline are all over the place, still very much readable; background lavashipping pining (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44529601/chapters/116416195#main…)

"Would You Like To Enter Stardust?" by AureAllegories - what if Jay became part of Prime Empire upon entering it? minor bruiseshipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/37798150/chapters/94374718…)

‌"Play to Win" by sadisthetic - s6 oneshot, what if after Cole, Lloyd and Nya are caught, instead of having them walk the plank, Nadakhan decides on another round of Scrap-N-Tap (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46263796#main…)

‌"Son of Garmadon" by orphan_account - movieverse au, Lloyd was raised by his father who has now captured the ninja and left Lloyd in charge of them (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18226388#main…)

"Cool Down" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - Kai's emotions are tied to his powers, Zane helps him cool down with hugs (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916767#main…)

"Echoes of a Broken World" by Stargaze_Sunflower - a few weeks after s6 the ninja find out about the erased timeline (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410818/chapters/72252897…)

"Little Brother" by SummerStormFlower - s1 Lloyd learns that he's loved and wanted (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261093#main…)

"Home Is Where You Are" by lloydshoulddyehishair - movieverse pre-movie oneshot, Morro helps his cousin after he got stabbed (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490180#main…)

‌"The Master of Fire and the Cold Don’t Mix Well" by Nation_Ustria - a series of oneshots of what the title says (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154861)

"late night bathroom sibling therapy" by YouAreDeadRetry - s1 trans Lloyd, Kai catches him cutting his hair and decides to help out gaining a lil brother in the process (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855188#main…)

"Oh, can I be your Bibilly Hills?" by Fabro-de-omres (Fabro) - movieverse pre-movie, after finding out that their leader is Lloyd and seeing the bullying up close, the ninja decide to make a surprise blanket fort for Lloyd (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27822187#main…)

‌"And the Vocab Word of the Day Is..." by fishoutofcamelot - early s1 before Zane regained his memory but with Lloyd living with the ninja, someone taught Zane how to swear (it's a funny oneshot) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/36502231#main…)

"Devil's Horns" by TeuthidaRegina - au and sorta rewrite of s10, the cloud has a bit of an effect on Lloyd and his oni traits start showing; background survivalshipping + with a sequel (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38756427/chapters/96906630…)

"The Not-So-Warm Winters." by JayJay_07936 - short oneshot of everyone cuddling up to Kai on a cold winter night; some lavashipping (https://archiveofourown.org/works/33884434)

"Four Nights, Three Crushes, One Bed, what else do you need" by fizzysugarwrites - polyninja, jay pov; the title is pretty explainatory (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866772/chapters/62850451…)

"Masking and Unmasking" by HelloThere3306 - movieverse, Lloyd accidentally loses his mask during a fight and the team finds out his identity. He runs (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42865698#main…)

"Kind" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - movieverse au, the words people think about you appear on your skin, Lloyd decides to do some good with that (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722576)

"Look what you’ve done // Fucked up, hope you’re proud" by Just_ATrigger - Sora blames herself for creating the Photac. Lloyd talks to her (https://archiveofourown.org/works/47996062#main…)

‌"Real Life" by Anonymous - Sora is curious about Zane and asks some questions which make the other ninja worried; master of tech and a guy made of tech? yeah (https://archiveofourown.org/works/47781802/chapters/120452491…)

‌"There's Always Tomorro" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - Morro redemption fic (a lil Morro apologist vibe? might just be me. still a good read), Morro living with the ninja after s5 and slowly becoming part of the family (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635941/chapters/67617703#workskin…)

‌"she was my sister before she was your lover" by SeraStars - set at the very beginning of s15; Kai tries to help still mourning Jay and push his own grief away but eventually snaps (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39271809#main…)

"Piggyback" by Echo_K - Kai gives Lloyd a piggyback ride to a candy stash to cheer him up, first after he finds out he's the Green Ninja and second after they put Garmadon in Kryptarium (https://archiveofourown.org/works/36230257#main…)

"lloyd garmadon discovers the ninja's inability to bargain with vendors" by sanology - exactly what the title says with some RG brothers (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39982485)

"lloyd garmadon makes kai smith cry on his birthday" by sanology - exactly what the title says with some RGB siblings and found family (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40838994)

‌"69 boughs of mistletoe on the wall" by lloydenthusiast - polyninja; Lloyd is tired of the ninja dancing around each other so he buys some mistletoe (https://archiveofourown.org/works/36942319#main…)

‌"The Candy Aisle" by VioletPixels - lil Lloyd gets lost in the store looking for the candy aisle and the panic ensures (https://archiveofourown.org/works/32092543#main…)

"The Idiots' Guide to Not Despising Your Cousin" by lloydskywalkers - green cousins go for a road trip (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932815#main…)

‌"All the Little Things" by IAmStoryteller - a few drabbles of Kai being Nya's parent; mostly set before canon (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992283/chapters/54970162…)

‌"The Skirt" by Spinchip (Thatkindghost) - Zane would love to wear a skirt but boys are not supposed to wear girl clothes, right?; gnc Zane oneshot (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30447384#main…)

"Stormbound" by Taddy_Maesson - post s15, sorta Seabound Jay AU; Jay hears the call of the storm and decides to follow it, however, doing so has its own consequences (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44427397/chapters/111745534…)

‌"the flames in the hearth" by sanology - post s7; the ninja get invited over by Ray and Maya who want to spend some time with their kids and their friends, but Kai and Nya are not little anymore and their parents forgetting about it grates on Kai (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39025779#main…)

"Bucket List" by Mattecat - after DotD Morro stayed in Ninjago, after s7 he stumbles onto Kai who lets him possess him for 2 weeks so he can live a life he didn't get to when he was alive (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925009/chapters/44928871…)

‌"Days Go By" by thahash - lavashipping, coffee shop au; barista Kai and fashion designer Cole meet after Cole moves to Ninjago City and continues his routine of morning coffee (https://archiveofourown.org/works/47334079/chapters/119270812…)

"Lloyd’s guide to surviving the merge (and finding new family through it)" by BlueberryPeach - Dragons Rising AU where Lloyd met Arin and Sora shortly after the merge,,and kinda adopted them (https://archiveofourown.org/works/48632041/chapters/122672911…)

"you're on your own, kid (yeah you can face this)" by chaniinobu - the 5 times lloyd got sick and didn't ask for help and the 1 time he did (https://archiveofourown.org/works/48855328)

"Tend to the Flame (Lavashipping)" by Pieris_rapae - series, pirates and mermaids au; after his encounter with a pirate named Cole who steals and loses Kai's (a merman in the hiding) pendant, he, together with some others, ends up on a pirate ship (https://archiveofourown.org/series/3627736)

"Autopilot" by swordofsanctuary - greenflower, Brad and Lloyd finally manage to meet up again. Brad asks Lloyd for some help

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/46044562/chapters/115905625)

"King's Gambit" by shoepermario - citrusshipping, Echo finds half dead (even more?) Morro post s5. With no one else in the lighthouse they become close

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/46453207/chapters/116962000)

"The Struggles of having an Alter Ego" by ladc70_2003 - movieverse, the ninja don't know each other's identities and sometimes that might lead to a few problems. Delves into every ninja's life and their issues

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/39497796/chapters/98859363)

"Coinverse" by Mattecat - a series, after getting resurrected by Lloyd, Morro is given into Borg's care. It's a free child to adopt

(https://archiveofourown.org/series/1062602)

"Morro's Spooky Cafe" by coa_trees - movieverse au, Lloyd and his friends are regulars in Morro's cafe. He starts to care for the kids. Unfortunately they're also the ninja

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/48071317/chapters/121213048)

"Starlight, Heritage, and Stupid Self-Sacrificing Humans" by WritingMadness13 - Lloyd, Arin and Sora end up in season 9 Ninjago

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/49201786/chapters/124146586)

"i'm scared cause it means / i'm a little bit soft" by shoepermario - citrusshipping drabbles

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/51316885/chapters/129664270)

"Got Room For One More?" by kooki18 - polyninja, after getting into a fight at his new school Kai is sent to help out at a ranch for the summer to avoid suspension. Too bad he falls for 3 other guys there who are already in a relationship

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/46583272/chapters/117307066)

"moonlit mugs and tacit love" by holographicknife - lavashipping, a two-shot of the two ninja pining and then being an adorable old couple

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/39431094/chapters/98685285#workskin)

"No Wu AU" by IdkWhereIAmWhatAmIDoing - the ninja found each other by pure coincidence (and Lloyd in a trash can) without Wu, they also found out they have powers. Quite a rewrite fic

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/42440016/chapters/106583067)

"Post-Crystallized Sillies" by shoepermario - post-crystalized, one shots focused on Harumi, Echo (Mr E) and Morro (sorta set in an au?, check out @ataraxixx love his take on the papaja trio)

(https://archiveofourown.org/series/3769057)

"A Dance" by GravyHoney (@gravyhoney ) - bumblebeeshipping, while Arin makes a list of things for Percival to do after Beatrix's defeat, he decides that dancing is a pretty good start

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/51849733)

"look to the rising sun" by stars_brownies_and_metaphors - Arin and Sora chat and some coming out happens

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47611363)

"cold nights and starlight" by stars_brownies_and_metaphors - Lloyd and Sora have a discussion about some habits current and past; **discussion of sh, mind the warnings**

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47811133)

"Ice Skating" by phantombasketofmuffins (@phantombasketofmuffins ) - bumblebeeshipping, short oneshot of Arin and Percy ice skating :3

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/51944410)

"Hoodie stealin'" by RoseLock22 (@roselock22 ) - bumblebeeshipping, oneshot; Arin can't find his hoodie and calls Percy to see if maybe he knows where it went

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/51977005)

"The Junkyard" by citrus_stoner - oneshot; after Jay and Nya go to see a movie while visiting Ed and Edna, Ed and Kai talk, set after s1

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/52226914)

"May I request him by my side?" by Tensoserensei - greenflowershipping oneshot; the ninja are invited to a fancy party, Lloyd finds Brad working there as a server and just this once decides to use his status

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/51954877)

"Blue and Green Make Aquamarine" by Finn_M_Corvex - greenflowershipping oneshot; Lloyd tries to figure out what to gift Brad back

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/52597663)

"A song and a spin" by RoseLock22 - bumblebeeshipping oneshot; Percival comes over to the Monastery to help Arin with training. One thing leads to another

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/52487443)

"Dancin'" by RoseLock22 - bumblebeeshipping oneshot; Arin teaches Percy how to dance

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/52737436)

"Starlight, Heritage, and Stupid Self-Sacrificing Humans" by WritingMadness13 - Lloyd, Arin and Sora land in the past during s9

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/49201786/chapters/124146586)

"Permanently Marked" by Tensoserensei - canon divergent, some bumblebeeshipping; Beatrix manages to capture Percival when he was leading the ninja into the resistance hideout. Percy doesn't want the facial markings that would give him a role in Imperium. Too bad that's about to be his punishment for being a traitor

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53284189/chapters/134845183)

"Sacrificial Jacket" by Tensoserensei - greenflowershipping; Lloyd is hanging out with his old friends from Darkley's when suddenly his period hits. Brad helps out

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53689999/chapters/135910720)

"Here We Go Again" by Inverse_Me - Cole ends up in the "monastery", a 'last chance' group home for,,special kids with lots of heavy issues **mind the warnings**

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/49937371/chapters/126074998)

"Getting that Couples Discount" by Tensoserensei - greenflowershipping, lavashipping; there's a couples discount in Chen's noodlehouse for Valentines. It stacks up with more couples in the group. But Kai, Cole and Lloyd aren't dating anyone. Fake (?) dating ensures

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53914618/chapters/136466293)

"What Does it Take for a Hero to Break?" by Blue1Phoenix - oneshot, DR; despite it having been years, trauma from Morro's possession still has some grip on Lloyd. A wrong question from Arin sets it off

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/54227413)

"Wobbly Hearts" by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 - movieverse soulmates au; Kai doesn't like soulmates. He knows he has three of them but he doesn't need them and they don't need him. High school is hard enough with letters floating off the page and writing anything being an almost impossible task. Too bad the universe doesn't care

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53062414/chapters/134249821)

"you're on your own, kid (yeah you can face this)" by chaniinobu - the 5 times lloyd got sick and didn't ask for help and the 1 time he did

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/48855328)

"Lloyd after Seabound" by Tensoserensei - series, Lloyd dealing with Nya's sacrifice post-Seabound, eventual greenflowershipping

(https://archiveofourown.org/series/3721519)

"I Still Remember (All the People I Love)" by shoepermario - post-s3, Lloyd is cooking with Sensei Garmadon, it reminds him of Zane

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53273923#main)

"We were supposed to be training, weren't we?" by RoseLock22 - bumblebeeshipping, boys in love during a break in training

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/55050013)

"Recursion" by shoepermario - s5, Swap AU where instead of Morro possessing Lloyd, Zane gets possessed by a different ghost

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/55143352/chapters/139831132#workskin)

[blossom-hwa]

the words I say, and the words I mean | h.k

pairing: Huening Kai x gender neutral!reader genre:  fluff, a touch of angst, high school!au, childhood best friends to lovers!au warnings: cursing word count: 2.5k notes: this was originally a story for jay written for chip as a lovely birthday present, I've repurposed it for hyuka because I think he'd fit the lovely lovestruck trope just as well :) hope you enjoy! On a cool golden afternoon on the cusp of winter, Kai falls for you again. 

Jay (Enhypen) Ver. | TXT Masterlist

At precisely five fifty-three on a Friday afternoon of a crisp fall-turning-winter day, Kai comes to this conclusion:

He says a lot of shit.

Which, in hindsight, any of his friends could have probably told him. Taehyun for certain—and Beomgyu too just by virtue of him being a paragon of evil or something. But there’s that whole saying about having to realize things about oneself by oneself, or whatever, because you’ll never listen to anyone else, not for real.

Or maybe there isn’t a saying. Maybe someone just told him that and he’s remembering it now.

Doesn’t matter. The point is, Kai walks into the coffee shop where you work at exactly five fifty-two pm on this wonderful Friday afternoon in the crisp intersection between fall and winter where the sun is beginning to set noticeably earlier but not so much so that it fucks up his entire brain, locks eyes with you behind the counter, and says:

“Hey, doofus.”

Which is certainly a substitute—if not a very good one—for what he says in his brain:

You look really beautiful in this lighting, and I kind of want to kiss you.

You roll your eyes and it’s still beautiful, somehow, in the golden afternoon sunlight spilling through the cafe window, and once again Kai is reminded of how hard he’s fallen for every single bit of you—the childhood best friend who lives next door, who’s seen him from his grubby little toddler days to his ratty pre-teen years to his ungodly mess of existence in this last year before college. You’ve seen everything about him, he’s seen everything about you, and if Kai hadn’t realized it before (a year ago, you fell asleep in the passenger seat as he was driving the two of you home from school and he got a slap of cold reality from God Herself when he looked over to see drool trickling down the side of your face and the first thing he thought was cute) he’d certainly realize it now, at five fifty-two pm on a Friday afternoon at the cusp of fall-turning-winter where the sunlight shines so warm on your half-annoyed, half-fond expression that Kai can proudly say is reserved solely for him.

But it’s kind of like a second realization of love, he guesses. Because apparently once wasn’t enough. And it comes in the form of him calling you a doofus when he just really wants to kiss you instead.

He really, really says a lot of shit. More specifically, a lot of shit he doesn’t mean. Mostly because you don’t know how he feels, and he’s too scared to ask if you might feel the same way.

“Good afternoon to you too, doofus,” you snip, sliding a cup of coffee across the counter. He hands you the exact amount for the drink like clockwork because it’s a routine at this point, and then, also in routine, he eyes it exaggeratedly.

“There’s no poison in this, is there?”

There it is. Again. There’s no poison in this, is there?

How about this instead:

Thanks for the drink, I really love you.

You roll your eyes again and he has to curb the smile on his face, in case it betrays the way his heart is pounding in his chest like it does a lot these days at the sight of you. “No, asshole,” you intone. “If I wanted to kill you, I’d make sure there was blood.”

“Aw, so you don’t want to kill me?”

I’d probably let you stab me for free.

“I’m waiting for the right time.” You snicker. “You know, Beomgyu already offered to help me hide the body.”

Kai would respond, and if he did he’d probably say something equally dumb that he didn’t really want to say because his heart keeps screaming for him to tell the truth of his emotions but his mind keeps telling it to shut the fuck up, but the door opens again with a little ring of bells and even though it’s now five fifty-four pm, six minutes from the end of your shift, six minutes are still six minutes and he’ll have to wait those six minutes to walk you home.

Your manager’s a bitch.

So he parks himself at a table, idly scrolling through his phone while sipping at the bitter Americano you gave him (perfect for keeping him somewhat awake for the late night studying that will definitely happen tonight), and also sneaking glances at you when he’s more or less certain you’re busy. He does good today, doesn’t manage to get caught staring even once before you disappear into the back, presumably to strip off your apron and clock out.

Soobin sends him about five cat pictures in the several minutes it takes for you to change. Kai giggles into his drink and hearts them all right before a shadow looms over his seated figure.

“What’re you laughing at?”

In response, he lifts his phone and watches a smile bloom across your face at the cat pictures. “They’re adorable,” you coo.

Kai’s brain reacts before his mouth does, which sucks because it only gives further proof to his realization earlier which he’d kinda hoped was a fluke but was pretty sure it wasn’t.

So are you.

He doesn’t say that, because he doesn’t have the guts. “Yeah, if only I could convince my parents to get one,” he pouts instead, pocketing the phone. “Let’s go home.”

The bells above the door chime merrily as the two of you walk out into the golden sunshine, a subtle warmth that curls even through the sharp bites of wind that nip at his nose and cheeks. When winter comes with its snow and ice, you’ll switch to taking the car home—him driving over to pick you up instead of walking in the snow—so he cherishes the walks for now, a bit of peace and calm in the silence of the neighborhood air.

Well, not exactly peace and calm. Because the two of you are best friends, and so you bicker, and most of that bickering gets pretty loud and your neighbors probably hate you both even if they haven’t said it out loud yet, but to Kai it feels peaceful anyway. Calming. A breath of fresh air, a moment in which he can forget about the stress of school and college applications and just focus on being here with you.

You’re telling him a story about work today, gesticulating wildly as you reenact some woman telling you that her drink wasn’t frothy enough, that she expected two full fucking inches of froth so you’d better shake it again or remake it. Kai laughs, and cackles, and commiserates when you say you’d like to hunt her down and put her six feet under, and all the time his heart feels like it’s blooming, blooming under not the sun itself but the light of your smile as you laugh with him.

Like a sunflower, he thinks. A sunflower, always chasing the sun across the sky.

Holy shit, Yeonjun’s poetry is rubbing off on him. This is terrible.

And then you laugh again, this brilliant sound that’s like a cross between a pig’s snort and wedding bells, and yeah. Okay. Whatever. Maybe Yeonjun’s poetry is fine. Because at least it’s getting things right.

“I never want to work in the food industry again,” you complain, shaking your head. Your scarf seems to be slipping around your neck and Kai’s fingers itch to rearrange it, but he keeps his hands to himself because you’ll notice it, right? You’ll notice the slipping scarf instead and then he won’t have to risk having you feel the tenderness in his fingers that isn’t supposed to be there because he’s only supposed to be your best friend, not someone who has a crush on you. “All the horror stories are so real.”

“Okay, but have you considered...” He pauses dramatically as you look at him, eyebrows raised. “Maybe you’re the problem.”

“Kai Kamal Huening—”

“If everything’s happening to you, I’m just saying, maybe there’s some correlation there—”

You punch him in the arm. Hard.

He wails.

“Oh my God, you fucking baby,” you hiss, all the while also holding your sides that are shaking with laughter as Kai flops to the ground, gripping his arm like you just attempted to cut it off. Good. Because he’s exaggerating, clearly, but only for your sake—so you can laugh. Just a bit. Enough to bring light back to your face that isn’t just from the sun.

“You punched me,” he whines, “and you’re calling me a baby?”

I’d let you punch me any day. And if I deserved it, I’d probably punch myself in the face, too. For you.

He’s going insane, he really fucking is, with the disconnect between the shit he says and the shit he wants to say. But the banter comes so easily, too easily—maybe that’s the reason why he can’t speak the words buried in his heart. Because it’s so much easier, so much simpler, to just pretend. To just bicker his way out of ever revealing anything to you.

“Oh my God, just shut up.” You haul him up and—holy shit, maybe he’s just some Victorian woman in disguise or whatever because he could swoon into your touch. He really could. But he doesn’t, because even to his dumbfuck lovesick heart, that’s overkill. “Come on, punch me. We’ll call it even.”

Kai stares at the arm you proffer to him, covered in the coat you’ve worn for several years at this point. He doesn’t know why, but for a moment, he can’t move. Can’t bring himself to.

Which is dumb as fuck. Because this is a thing you two have always done, jokingly hit each other at one point and when the other complains loud enough to cause a neighborhood ruckus, let them hit back to call it even. It started with your first fight as kids and it just...stayed. Until now. At this moment at sometime past six pm on a Friday evening, now, on a crisp fall-turning-winter day where wind has mostly carried away the coffee smell from your job and Kai is having a crisis about punching your arm.

But he has to do it. So—

He punches you.

Very softly.

Nothing at all like you punched him.

You blink. So does he.

“What the fuck was that, dude?” You narrow your eyes at him playfully, though something uncertain dances in your gaze. Alarm bells start ringing at full force in his brain—fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—“Are you going soft?”

He’s looking at you and you’re looking at him and a gust of wind blows the scarf around your neck and fuck you still haven’t noticed that it’s loose and he wants nothing more than to grab it and fix it so you won’t get too cold but he can’t, now, because he’s already revealed too much by not punching you the way you (and he!) expected and the uncertainty is still there in your expression and FUCK he needs to say something, he needs to say something—

No, it’s because I like you so much it hurts.

“No, it’s because you’re weak and you wouldn’t be able to handle a real punch.”

You screech and Kai screams and then you’re chasing him down the block, one fist held high as you yell something like I’ll give you a real fucking punch to whine about and even as he runs away from you he can hear the laughter in your voice even as you spout bloody murder and promises of revenge behind him, your screams blending with his gasping laughter as he stops, sides heaving with cackles, and you bowl him onto the cold sidewalk that still feels warm, somehow, warm with your giggles as you slap him in the shoulder, threats of violence still dripping from your lips—

“I give up,” he gasps, tears squeezing out of his eyes as he tries to stop laughing. “I give up.”

In other words:

I’ll let you win, always, because your happiness means everything to me.

You collapse to the ground beside him on the cold concrete, and there has never been anything more beautiful, Kai thinks, than the medley of your cackling laugh fading in the air and your expression scrunched in giggling happiness as you sit up to face him. “Good,” you sniff, eyes sparkling in the fading sunlight. “Glad you know your place.”

Kai watches you stand, then extend a hand to help him up. His eyes linger on that hand, the hand he held so much as a kid, the hand he stopped holding in middle school because it’s icky and we aren’t dating, the hand he’s wanted to hold for several years now and even more so since last year when he saw you drooling in the car and thought you were so, so cute. He reaches up, takes it, and in the moment where your palms are connected, his heart aches, aches so much for him to just say—

I love you.

But you let go of his hand, still smiling, so oblivious to the way his heart sags and cracks with the weight of those three words he can’t say as the warmth of your palm leaves his, and he knows—it isn’t meant to be, you loving someone as ratty and messy and damaged as he. You’re best friends. Nothing less, but certainly nothing more.

So he leaves the words in his overflowing heart, locks them away with a cold key made of the sudden absence of your hand’s warmth against his. “Come on,” he says instead, smiling the crooked smile that you always say makes him look like a stupid little rugrat on the streets. But he gets the patented Kai Kamal Huening smile on your face in return, annoyance and exasperation and fondness all mixed into an expression that nearly explodes the box where he keeps those three words, eight letters, carefully locked away, so it can’t be too bad. Not really. Not if it gets him the sunlight of your smile on your face.

Nothing’s so bad, really, not even the weight of all the words he means but can’t say, not when you smile at him like this under the shimmering golden sunlight of a fall-turning-winter evening, not when the two of you are alone in the street glowing warm with laughter, not when it feels like nothing in the world can tear the two of you apart. It’s enough, really. Having you here, and knowing you’ll always be here, even if it means keeping secrets locked carefully away in his heart.

“Come on,” he repeats, and his smile isn’t even that strained as he jerks his head towards the end of the street. “The sun’s setting. Let’s get home.”

Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :)

[thoughtkick]

Forgive yourself for the decisions you have made, the ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night.

Sarah Kay, No Matter the Wreckage

[fruityninja-incorrectquotes]

Jay: "why are girls are allowed to say girlfriend when referring to their platonic friend"

Jay: "but i can't say this is my boy toy twink malewife, Zane?"

Zane: "wha t"

Kai, nodding: "i'm always asking myself that, Jay"

Zane: "wh at"

Cole: "same"

Zane: "????"