#work ; niko

[lorastyrels]

Off on a case! 🔎

[lady-disdain221b]

[dragonsareawesome123]

Not over Dead Boy Detectives only heavily advertising on Tumblr and nowhere else. They know exactly who their audience is.

[alcoholicweiwuxian]

bestiessssss <3

click for better quality; tumblr eats lines

[technically-human]

Boy Crystal and Niko..? And the sprites if you wanna.

Crystal (yes his name is still Crystal, although before getting his memories back, he assumed it to be Chris) and Jiro had a little cameo here. I'm glad they finally got their own piece!

Litty became Kingham and Kingham became Litty, but you wouldn't be able to tell anything has changed.

Ko-Fi

[alystar00]

Edwin: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Monty: Several traffic violations.

Charles: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Niko: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Crystal: Also, that’s not our car.

[sasakisniko]

I know what you are.

[superiorsturgeon]

Jaune: Yang, I need your help!

Yang: Well, that goes without saying, vomit boy! 😎

Yang: But what specifically? 🤨

Jaune: I want you to teach me how to have sex with my girlfriend! 😖

Jaune: The last time Pyrrha and I did it, I couldn’t last more than ten minutes, and she called it “Fine!”

Jaune: *grabs Yang’s shoulders* “Fine” is code for “not very good!” The Star Wars sequel trilogy was just “fine!” I can’t let things continue like this! 😫

Yang: Well, you’ve come to the right place! But my services won’t come cheap!

Jaune: *gulps* 😰

Yang: In return for transforming you into a sex god who can please any woman on Remnant, you must give me…

Yang: …one month of doing my daily chores, and also your family’s secret tuna casserole recipe that you won’t even share with Ren! 😈

Jaune: …done!

Yang: Take some time to think about-wait, what? 😨

Jaune: Done deal!

Yang: What do you mean “done deal?!”

Jaune: I mean I’ll do anything to impress Pyrrha! Tell me your secrets! 😥

Yang: …😕

Yang: …okay, cards on the table, I expected you to fight WAY harder than this. I don’t actually know if I can help. 😓

Jaune: WHAT?! Then what was all that noise from your room last weekend?! It went on for so long! I swear I heard “Dragula” playing!

Yang: I pretty much just do what Blake tells me. She’s a power bottom with an emphasis on “power!” 😔

Yang: That’s why I wanted your recipe! I need to impress Blake…😢

Jaune: Well, this is just great! I’m dating Pyrrha Freaking Nikos and I have nothing to offer in bed! 😭

Yang: Can’t you use your bullshit high aura levels to last longer? 🤔

Jaune: *flailing his hands in frustration* AURA DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY!!! 🤬

Elsewhere…

Blake: *on the edge of her seat* OOOH…tell me more…! 😍

Pyrrha: …and not only did Jaune make a magnificent surf-and-turf dinner, but he did the cleanup as he went! 😁

Pyrrha: He earned SO MANY boyfriend points for that! 🥰

Blake: Awww…! Yang does romantic things like that! I think she’s anxious about our relationship, so she goes way over the top in bed.

Blake: …did I ever tell you about the time she dug up an old book about sexy massages and spent weeks practicing in secret before our anniversary? 😏

Pyrrha: EEEE!!!! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!!! 😃

[aroacespacerock]

I think I need to knit a replica of crystals bone shirt it’s so damn cool

Like look at it!!! Why is crystal always pulling up with the best fits, didn’t she leave all her clothes behind??

[willsonlmt]

In the beacon gym, Yang is doing some curls as jaune walks in.

Yang: Hey, jaune, you're late. I take workouts very seriously, and I need my spotter to be on time.

Jaune: I know, and I'm sorry. I've been helping Pyrrha be assertive about what she wants, and it's backfired slightly.

Yang: haha yeah and what does she want. You to be better with studying?, better care of your sword?, more sturdy defensive position?

Jaune: It's unimportant what she wanted.

*jaune blushes afair bit*

Yang: mmm hmm, that blush seems to be a different story. Sooo what was it that she wanted? Hmm.

Jaune: Yang, can we please just work out.

Yang: Oh, come on, I want to know what pyrrha had you do? If you don't tell me, I'm just gonna keep pestering you until you do, and I'm an older sister. I know how to pester someone.

Jaune: Yang, it's nothing important. Let's just get to working out.

*Jaune turns around to walk to the weight rack, not realizing that it shows off the back of his neck that has a scratch*

Yang: No way, OMG!

*Yang comes bounding up behind jaune.*

Yang: So what were you doing together that caused you too get a scratch on the back of your neck?

Jaune: i... it...it's just a scratch from yesterday's training.

Yang: Nope, that scratch is fresh. So what was Pyrrha having you do?

Jaune: Yang, please let's drop this.

Yang: Wow, now I have to know. Look how about this, I promise on Bumblebee no I promise on Ruby that if you tell me. I won't make fun of you or spread rumors. I won't even tell Blake.

Jaune: Okay, if you're promising on Ruby. I won't tell you everything but I'll give you a hint. Pyrrha scratched me, pulling me into a pair of lips not on her face.

*Jaune is as red as a beet, and yang just stares in shock, looking at him.*

[shipspainfulships]

I checked two days ago to see if dbd was on everyone's watching list in India. It wasn't.

I checked again today, AND FINALLY!!! GUYS ITS WORKING PLS KEEP STREAMING EVERYONE

DON'T STOP STREAMING!!!

[ghostofthegallows]

My track record of making cursed dead boy detectives stuff contines

[samsayswhatever]

Dead Boy Detectives Ship Names

This is where I'm at ship-wise. Any suggestions? Any more rare pairs I'm missing? Better ship name suggestions?

Edit: I've been informed its "Payneland" not "Paynland"

[gayboydetectivez]

Fic idea:

"I'll just flirt with charles and you copy whatever works" crystal shrugged.

"I'm not certain..." Edwin said nervously

"If he likes it when I do it and we're not even into each other, then his reaction to you doing it will be proof if he likes you or not." She explained her logic.

Edwin had to admit he could follow the train of thought. But Charles was attracted to women, had once been attracted to crystal, though he had decided he saw her more as a friend than a potential romantic companion after their uncomfortable failed kissing session. 'It just didn't feel right' he had explained when Edwin pressed for more information. He would still catch him looking flustered, though, when crystal whispered in his ear or that time she had gotten caught in an unexpected spring downpour in an unfortunately thin tshirt, requiring edwin to loan her his coat while charles struggled not to openly gawk. There was a very slim chance that Edwin repeating the flirtatious actions of some human girl would end in anything but his own humiliation and an even slimmer chance that charles would be interested.

"I don't think-" he started.

"We can get niko's help so you dont embarass yourself." She added.

Edwin folded his arms, one eyebrow raised at the psychic before sighing in resignation. "Fine." He said haughtily.

[fruttymoment]

(they are good at their job)

[kinaesthetiqueer]

no wonder Nora never took her jacket off; RNJR would have never gotten anything done.

i like to think this happens in v4 because Ruby makes an offhand comment about Nora and Jaune not having guns as part of their kits. and Nora whips off her jacket and cries "guns? oh i've got guns! 😏" cue Jaune and Ren having a crisis. Ren is, to quote a friend, "experiencing emotions previously unknown, possibly shrimp ones".

redraw of this meme, because i wanted to draw best girl flexing and being admired, as she deserves.

renorarc et al. versions under the cut. :) image ID in alt text.

i don't have a twitter, so if you're inclined to share, please link back to this post rather than reposting it, thank you :')