#work sucks. think about pretty boyfriend to cope :(

[schrodingersschlong]

therapy is expensive, pulling whiny little "ah-ah-ah"'s out of your pretty boyfriend with just your mouth is free

[ramonathinks]

matters of the heart — Nanami K.

summary: finding out your ex-boyfriend wrote a novel detailing your relationship isn’t how you expected this week to go and to make matters worse everyone on the internet now thinks your “character” is a total bitch. you decide to pay your ex a visit, but can you do that without succumbing to your natural urges? well, no!

tags: 18+(MDNI/blank blogs) slight porn with plot, oral (f! receiving), brief nipple sucking, daddy kink, creampie, i guess nanami is a bit toxic in this lol, nanami might also be a bit ooc in here

to the moaners: has this been sitting in the draft for about 3-4 months? yes! but happy birthday month, kento 😚. artwork by @/_3aem (twt); @ryomens-vixen (this was the fic I mentioned a while back) word count: 5.6k (yuck), I don't really like this

I’m going to kill him, that was the only thing on your mind once you closed out of the novel. Normally, your weekends were spent relaxing with a fruity bubble-gum colored cocktail but today was different. Shoko called your phone at exactly 9:26 am claiming it was time she divulged some news to you. At exactly 9: 28am, she sent you an online copy of a book titled, “Matters of the Heart” and told you it was nothing but a two or three hour read and then to call once you finished. 

The book had a slow start and it seemed pretty average, just any old love story. Lately, anything was getting published and it seemed that was the case here — wait, you paused your reading and sat up straight. No. Just no. Something just clicked for you which led you to completely start over from page one. 

The moment you finished, at exactly 1:01 pm, you grabbed a salmon colored low cut shirt and light washed jeans, slipped on your white shoes and hurried to get into your car. You didn’t need to call her phone because you were going to talk to her face to face; this situation warranted a real conversation. It was nothing but a 17 minute drive to Shoko’s house, so when you arrived at exactly 1:18 pm, her door was already open. “They’re bashing me, Shoko. Fucking bashing! How could he do this to me?” Were the first words that flew out of your mouth, holding your phone close to her face so that she could see the reviews. 

“Well, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you.” She yawned, handing you a cup of water – probably because of how crazy you looked – before she ushered you to a seat on the couch. A golden brown blanket was lazily thrown on the seat, which she hurried to move. You sat down and faced her with a look of what Shoko could only describe as pure sadness. She had seen you like this many times before, all because of one person. 

“You did.” You sniffled with an eye roll, you couldn’t help but feel uncertain. Reading this book only brought back more uncomfortable feelings towards the breakup and him. You thought that you were over him and the memories that the book produced made you question everything. One question remained which is: Why?

She giggled drily. “Hey, I read all his works. Pseudonym or not. He can’t hide from me. Plus, I know you both and everything that went on. I was there too, remember?” She mumbled the last part. “Maybe this was his way of coping?”

“It’s been years… and I heard he’s announced a sequel. Shoko, a SEQUEL! It’ll be released later this year.” You spoke in a shaking watery voice while she rubbed your back in an attempt of comfort. Your mind could only think of what the reactions would be to your character in the sequel… insecurities that you never knew were there flooded your mind.

“There was enough material for a sequel? I thought he covered everything…” Shoko rubbed her chin and looked deep in thought. You just stared at her, she couldn’t be serious. “Sorry, ignore me.” She shook her head ignoring your stare.

“Do I even confront him over this? A-and how would that make me look, like I still check on him right? I’ll look crazy and bitter… which apparently I am. Oh and I’m bitchy and a ‘total cunt’ as they’re putting online.” He didn’t know just how much you changed, he missed your growth. Rubbing your eyes, you ask:“Why did you tell me about this? What made you take so long… I just don’t understand.”

“Well, at first… I didn’t think you’d care.” Moving a strand of her nut-brown hair out of her face, she continued. “Then about a month ago, I decided it was right to tell you, just in case someone else pieced it together.”

“Gojo read it then, huh?” You mentally cringed at the thought. It was the only person you could think of who’d be so crude about it. He knew how damaging the breakup was for you but not as bad as Shoko knows. Now, you’re just grateful that she told you before he did.

“Yep, so I figured that I had to tell you before he did.” She clicked her tongue. “But let’s just calm down before you make any rash decisions on how to handle this.” 

“He wrote a fucking duality series about me, our relationship, our sex life and you want me to calm down? Are you listening to yourself? This is a serious matter. I am being called a bitch, a slut and more on Goodreads and multiple websites, reviews, etc. and he didn’t even have the audacity to give me a heads up. You had to call me.” You let out an unladylike snort.“Why couldn’t he stick to his mystery novels? Wasn’t he doing good at those?”

“Writer's block.” Shoko said in a singsong-like voice. “He hadn’t written a mystery book since you two broke up and then… he alerted his supporters he wanted to switch things up and then… that was that. Ladies loved it, a big hit. By the way, if you two were really fucking like that I need to se—”

“Shoko, now is not the time!” Your face felt hot all over, your mind racing. “I just can’t believe this.” You wrapped your arms around your body and squeezed, giving yourself one big squeeze. It was hard not to cry but you could feel it all in your throat. 

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think his intentions were to make you feel bad.” She hugged you to her chest, pressing a small kiss to the crown of your head. “I think he still loves you. I mean, isn’t this book proof? After all these years, he wrote about you.” 

“I’m sure he moved on by now.” You whispered, your eyes growing tired already and the day had barely started. “I just need to lay down. I need to rest.” Your mind seemed to finally grow calm and your breathing steady, a small hiccup now in your throat but with a gulp of water, you were better.

“Just stay here. I don’t trust you to be alone right now.” Shoko’s voice drowned out as sleep overtook you, you could only feel her warmth as she held you and honestly it was all you needed at this moment, Shoko always made you feel safe and you couldn’t thank her more than enough for that right now as you slept.

You were a light sleeper, it was always something that Nanami pointed out about you. He always said how he felt like he couldn’t leave the room while you slept even if it was to use the bathroom afraid to wake you. He knew how important sleep was to you and he’d risk having a bladder infection if you got all 8 hours that you required. Nanami was sweet and caring like that. 

You didn’t think you’d break up with him ever. He was the one for you and he always made that clear. He pampered you and even after the breakup – though you didn’t need it – he left you with a check for five thousand dollars, saying it was for his half of the lease for the next few months. 

The breakup was brutal for you. You almost quit working entirely. Shoko was the only person you’d confined into and the only friend you left to check in on you especially when you didn’t want to leave the house. She brought you groceries and helped you shower until you finally were able to get up again.

Though it was hard to believe, it was Nanami who broke up with you. You thought it was a joke, a cliche little joke. 

“Baby, I’m not joking.” His voice was quiet and husky, he spoke as if he was going to cry. “I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out if this is what I want. You don’t have to wait for me, you just keep on living your life and being happy. But… I think it’s time we let this go.” 

You didn’t cry in front of him. You didn’t cry when he packed his things up. You certainly didn’t cry when he shut the door, leaving his key on the table because you knew he was joking. He had to be. But when you called him and his number was disconnected and you were blocked on any form of social media… that was when you broke down and cried. 

It happened out of nowhere. You overanalyzed every aspect of your relationship for where you went wrong. You wrote down every conversation you could remember and dissected it word by word. You watched every video and picture you had of the two of you looking for a bit of regret or anything on his face. You read every text message, looking for malice. He said he needed time to figure out if he wanted this but he always made it clear that he did and even that he was looking forward to having kids together, you two had even gone ring shopping months ago. 

You didn’t sleep and when you did, it was only for 4 hours and sometimes barely that. Your heart had an ache in it and the tears wouldn’t stop. You could only think why wasn’t I enough?

When you opened your eyes Shoko was still holding you and a small smile grew on your lips. “Thank you Shoko.” You knew if you could count on anyone, it was always going to be her. She was the one who pieced you back together and made sure that life didn’t destroy you and you couldn’t help but to be grateful. 

“Of course. ‘M going to let you spend the night here, okay? Let’s get some takeout and watch your favorite movies, how’s that sound?” She knew the way to your aching heart like the back of her hand. 

“It sounds amazing!” You stretched your arms out wide, leaning off of her and sitting up. “Should we start with Uptown Girls or Legally Blonde?” 

It took two days before you confronted him. Shoko was adamant about not giving you his address and you were tempted to get it from her phone. But luckily, you wore her down, she was probably tired of you bringing him or his book in every conversation. So now you stood there, nerves washing over you in waves.

The mahogany colored door stared at you – mocked you – and you returned the glare before you knocked on it, hard. This was just a door and you were angry at the person behind said door, not the door itself. 

It was almost like he was waiting on you because the door unlocked and opened. He even stepped aside to let you in, quiet. His straw-colored hair was parted differently and he even looked taller or broader – you couldn’t completely tell – but he looked different… seemed different. The atmosphere around him made your stomach clench and it made you mad; why did it feel like only you suffered from the breakup? Here he was – strong and tall – and you were nothing or rather the same.

“You wrote a romance erotica novel about our relationship?” It was what you practiced saying before you got out of your car – making sure your voice didn’t tremble – this time, it didn’t. 

“Well, hello to you too. Even after three and a half years, you still like to get straight to the point.” He grinned, putting a hand on your back to guide you to a seat on his couch. “I must ask, what makes you think it’s about you?” He does a slight laugh and raises his brow.

“We have the same initials, almost the same name. Are you kidding me?” You retort, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your chest that occurred when you heard his voice after so long, hearing him and seeing that damned smile… your nose scrunched up.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know you kept up with me… with my books…” He muttered, glancing your way, a demure look in his amber eyes. “Should I be flattered?” Almost in an instant, he turned on a slight cockiness to himself, though his body language showed his nervousness – his thigh bouncing a bit and his fingers tapping on the couch handle. A light sense of relief filled your system knowing that you weren’t the only one being affected by this.

“I don’t.” You inhaled deeply. “Shoko told me about it and then, I checked it out.” Fiddling with your fingers and even picking at your nails, that was your tell all sign of nervousness and right now you were engaging in it more than ever before. 

“I wanted to tell you or rather, to ask you. I know you got the voicemails I sent last year…and then you kept dodging my calls.” He tells you, you could feel his eyes on you – or more so your fingers… the nasty habit that he had finally got you to stop all those years ago rushing right back in an instant.

“Writing a book to trash me and our relationship… to make you look like some sort of… ugh, like you’re so amazing and I’m just shit. Yeah, that certainly got my attention.” If you were coming off bitchy or rude right there, you couldn’t care less especially when there were worse things that you could’ve said or even could’ve done at this moment. You really wanted to slap him. 

“Is that all you got out of it?” He asks with his head low, almost as if he was admitting defeat or as if he couldn’t believe you came up with something so trivial. 

“Was there anything else to get?” You counter, shifting your body towards him. Maybe it was best that you sat down and actually listened to the author and his interpretations of his work.

“How about that I love you regardless of any flaws… how about I find your stubbornness and attitude sexy and how I knew this breakup would be good for you. I was holding you back. I mean, I heard you got promoted 3 times since we broke up… I just felt like I was changing you, hindering your growth. I needed to reflect on myself and this book helped that.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh, yet another sign of his anxiousness. “Believe it or not, I still care about you. No matter what happened between us.”

“What happened? You mean when you decided to just leave? You could've told me everything you just told me and I would’ve understood better. We could’ve talked and came to a compromise. You don’t understand what you put me through after it.” You were close to tears but you straighten your posture and sniffled, it was best not to think about what happened before. “I just needed a bit of closure too, I guess that’s why I came. I just was caught off guard. You could’ve knocked on my door or something, forced me to answer… forced me to talk.”

He met your eye for the first time since you came over. “You wouldn’t have listened,” He huffs. “Didn’t I mention how stubborn you are? Plus, I meant what I said. I needed time to myself and I think we both did.”

“I guess…But Nanami, this book was too much. A letter would’ve been fine if you needed closure, don’t you think?” You see his lips quirk up a bit before he licks them, trying not to laugh it seems.

“My publisher got a hold of some of the documents where I was just going over things, writing here and there. She loved the idea… plus I’m in a contract for six books so I had to put something out soon, it had already been a year.” He told you, sitting his chin on top of his knuckles. “I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I was writing for fun… reminiscing about us and then later down the line, I realized I was writing because I wanted you to read it, I just didn’t exactly know how to get you to since you were very adamant on avoiding me, which is understandable. But regardless, I didn’t think it’d get on the bestseller list or for the reviews to get so harsh.” He admits, reaching for your hand before his hand froze in midair and he stopped himself, choosing instead to put it behind his head.

“Is there anyway you can stop the sequel from being published then… since you got my attention after all this time?” You asked, putting your most dazzling smile on, hoping to sway him. 

“I can talk to my publisher. Everything’s in print and materials are already done… but I’ll try to see if I can stop production.” His adam’s apple bobbles when he does a harsh swallow. “Are we… okay? Do you forgive me?”

The question made you pause. He always made it hard for you to not forgive him; it took one look or a smile and a small explanation and it made it easy to fall in love with him all over again, no matter what he did… it seems. But it made you ask yourself: Were you too easy? Did you really forgive him? It was thoughts like that swirling around the corners of your mind. You wanted to forgive him, he was just writing and telling a story… but it was your story, not just his. Using this for your attention when he could’ve written about anything else, he didn’t have to. Were you just ready to forgive him because you still loved him? 

You hadn’t realized how deep in thought you were until you felt the couch dip and even then, your mind was still spirling.“You don’t have to…” His voice brings you out of your thoughts, his body so close to yours that it was getting hard to breathe. He still smelled the same; citrus and woodsy and it was easy to get yourself sucked back in. 

“So you can write another book about my stubbornness?” You give a quiet giggle, scooting a bit away from him, seeing him frown from the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to fall back but he made it all so simple. It was easy and you were already falling back on him and you didn’t need that… Did you?

“Baby…” Your body buzzed and hummed, turning to him with wide eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to make this right. Anything for you to forgive me… If they can’t stop publication, what can I do to make us right?” He was doing more than a gaze, he was full on staring and from how close he was it was hard to avoid. 

“Nanami I–” You stopped yourself. You couldn’t really think of anything he could do but you could think of several unhealthy things you could do to ruin your progress on going over him. He had betrayed you and made you a laughing stock so why are you stuck thinking about forgiveness when you should be leaving.

“I never stopped loving you.” His fingers traced up and down your pants but his eyes stayed on yours. “I never thought about anyone but you… I never slept with anyone… it’s always been you. But, I understand what I put you through and I’ll apologize every second until you forgive me…” The blond man who you never saw shed a tear looked more than close to it. “But just please… forgive me.”

“I’m sorry, honest.” He tries again after being met with absolute silence. “Just… let me show you, okay?” His breath tickles your face for a second and when you look into his cocoa brown eyes, you feel everything you once felt again.

Memories of good times dulls out the odd feelings in the pit of your stomach – the confusion and pain – instead are replaced with joy. The trip to Malaysia where he rubbed sunscreen on your entire body and laid back to read a book and you watched as his eyes kept drifting to you while you played in the cerulean water; how you kept begging him to come in until he complied and how eventually in the early hours of the morning when you wanted another dip, he fucked you twice — once in the golden lush sand and another in the cool ocean water. 

His face is in your thighs and you couldn’t help but feel better, feeling his breath fanning so close to your pants covered pussy, your body felt scorching hot. He’s grumbling, “Will you let me make it up to you? Will you let me show you how sorry I am?” 

You must’ve nodded because he was already unbuttoning your pants and helping you lay back, pulling your shirt up just a bit to see your perky tits – he must’ve remembered how you never wore bras unless you felt it was necessary, which was mainly work or any important events. 

He blew a bit on your hardening nipples before he took one into his mouth – playing biting them with a smug look on his face before he began licking around your areolas and kissing around the swells of your breast. He doesn’t say anything but he looks deep in thought as he kisses down your body, his fingers scraping down your sides as he works your pants and your panties all the way down. Bringing his head up for a minute, he looks in your face. “I love you.” He says it simply, heavy emotions swirling in his brown eyes.

Removing your pants and underwear completely from your body, he spreads your thighs and looks over your body – a trimmed low pretty bush sits between your thighs and it makes him smile, he always loved seeing the curled hair on your delicate lower lips. He spreads your pussy, watching the skin stretch with a deep smile on his face. You could feel yourself … the wetness leaking down under your body and it made you cringe, but the way he was staring at you made the insecurities vanish. “All this for me?” He takes a tentative lick before he slurps, clutching your hips. “I know you like to run… but I need you to stay put, got it?” It was hard for you to listen to him, your head already fuzzy and the thoughts swirling around were only about him, nothing more. 

Then your body bucks up, “Wait–!” A broken moan escapes your mouth when he presses a soft wet kiss to your clit. Nanami had always been gentle and very careful whenever he ate you out; making sure his tongue was wet enough and that he wasn’t too rough. His tongue was wide enough to make your back arch, your body leaving the couch when it finally hit your clit and he gave you no time to recover before he peeled back the hood, sitting the tip of his tongue there and rapidly flicked at the bud. 

Hearing the lewd squelching noises coming from the mixture of your cunt and his mouth made you close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. He spits before he licks it up and down your aching slit, nudging his tongue inside only slightly, much to your dismay. You’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy; sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake. When he finally slips his entire tongue inside of you, curling it just enough that you can feel it everywhere, your legs attempt to close up around his head. “Please– ‘m so… soo–oh…” His fingers join in on the fun and in small sloppy circles he rubs your clit, pressing down on the pearl while his tongue continues flicking inside of you. The split second that you open your eyes, his are already on yours and it was that moment, that made your body tense up and for you to cum. 

It happens fast, clear sticky wetness leaks out of you and Nanami still tries to get more of it on his tongue, catching anything that drips and sucking on your folds. “Always so fucking good…” He mutters, spreading you again and smearing more of your slick on his face by shaking his head between your thighs, so that he’s completely covered in you. 

When he moves his head, embarrassment comes over you, looking at his wet face… even his forehead was wet and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby but… I’ll be right back, stay wet for me.”

Your heart hammers against your chest, lying there on this now wet couch. You didn’t come over here for this and yet here you are… about to get fucked and really, it was no turning back now. You’d been on dates with men after Nanami but they never lasted past the second date and you certainly hadn’t had sex in a while, but he made you come apart like it was nothing.  

But then again, Nanami knew your body… so of course this was a walk in the park for him. It honestly annoyed you right now, you couldn’t even make yourself cum half the time especially these last few years and now, barely an hour here and he has you right where he wanted you… bare and practically back in love with him.

Nanami came back with a fresh face and unbuttoned pants that he was currently pulling down. You clenched around nothing, your mind thinking only of the perfect dick that was going to be coming out of those pants. You licked your lips, this would be the first dick you saw in years and it was his. 

His drooling cock slapped his stomach and you swallowed, your mouth felt unreasonably dry. The length of his cock always impressed you, standing tall at seven and a half inches, he shakes with laughter which snaps you out of your daze. “Now let me look at you.” His whispers and even though he already saw you, both years ago and right now, you can’t help but feel hot all over again. He’s staring – drawing his eyes down every inch of your body –  focusing on your breast before getting to the stare of the show yet again. He smirks, laying you back down, pressing his body against yours to kiss you. 

Your breath was caught in your throat, his tongue still tasted of you and his hands cups your jaw. He’s gentle, his tongue moving around your mouth messily before he stops, saliva breaking apart when he does so. His fingers make a ghostly featherlight touch on your clit that makes you jump, the head of his cock at your entrance. He holds out his hand, close to your mouth. “Spit.” Gathering up some, you spit in the palm of his hand and stroke it along his length, huffing at the sensation. 

He pushes in, taking his time to work himself inside of you, a strained expression on his face. Hips pulled back, he focuses more on just the tip of himself fucking you, watching your pussy stretch with just the tiniest bit of resistance. Inching himself inside, you watch his torso flex and he groans, obscene noises plop and plap around the apartment, his heavy cock pushing in and out of you, your toes curling. 

“Pussy still mines, right? Didn’t give it away, did you?” You’re struggling to talk - to fucking breathe - your eyes rolling back and your jaw slacked but you babble out a soft ‘no’ which makes him finally thrust in you harder, completely bottoming out. You feel him in your belly, feeling full and embarrassingly wide with him stretching you out, his balls sitting on the crest of your ass before he moves. 

He moves you a bit, your bodies flush to each other and he moves his hips in harsh circles, his pelvis so close to your clit. His hands on your calves, he pushes your legs so that they rest on his shoulders, your knees touching your ears makes you tighten up and he groans above you.

“Nanami I-” You call out, eyes closed with pleasure shaking through your core, wetness slapping between the both of you. 

“Nanami? No, call me what you used to call me.” His hips slowed down, a whine escaping your lips. His cock dragging inside of your walls, pulling out slowly, awaiting your response. 

“Please…don’t slow down, Ken—” before the word even left your lips, his hand slapped your cunt, leaving your legs shaking a bit and your eyes snapping open. Drops of tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, reaching for him… you couldn’t help but feel so small in his presence.

“Say it.” Then, you knew what he meant. A name that now feels foreign in your brain and even when it leaves your mouth, it comes out in a strange rattled whimper.

“Oh, oh… daddy, ‘m sorry. Please, keep fucking me. It’s so goooood!” He’s grinning before the words leave your mouth.

“Still my good girl huh? Always so fucking good for daddy.” He licks up your neck and it makes you tremble, your tongue lolling out a bit and he moves to suckle on it. “Did you skip over all those sex scenes or did you rub this pussy out to them?” He asks, his fingers digging in the back of your thighs. 

You choked out, sobbing, “I did, daddy… But I-I don’t want to remember everything.” 

“You don’t remember all the words I used to describe this cunt? This pretty pussy? That changed his life… my life? That made him always crawl back? That made him so fucking hard? The pretty words I used to describe you? To describe how pretty she always looked when he fucked her? How his heart felt like it was going to explode when she looked at him too long because he loved her so damn much?” He’s groaning in your ear, thrusting into you, his depth reaching your g-spot, your pussy spasming and begging for his cum at every word he uttered. 

Pumping himself inside, you could see the white creaminess that was on his cock, most likely because of you, he was constantly fucking the cream inside of you, your nails digged into his arms and he moaned at the feeling. Your stomach tightens and you move to push him away, “I’m going to c–cum!” You felt him throbbing inside of you, signaling that he was close too. “Please, cum inside of me… I can’t take it.” You couldn’t stand it any longer, it’s been years and you needed him to fill you up. He stopped for a moment, changing positions so that you’ll be sitting on his lap, grabbing your hips and forcibly bouncing you on his dick, dangerously slow. 

Wetness gushes on him as his tip hits you from a new angle, seeing the outline of him in your tummy, he’s stretching you again with each nasty thrust. Each drag of his cock making you go crazy and the aching between your legs continue, your body shaking and both of you moaning loudly and over each other. 

Finally, your orgasm rattled and shook your entire body, your pussy sucking him in, milking him for all he’s worth and it makes his body shake and he releases inside of you, trying to stay quiet as his body jerks up, unable to stop himself from fucking you through both of your orgasms.

It’s quiet for a while, just heavy breathing with you laying on his chest. “I love you too…” Your voice is scratchy and your face tear stained. He doesn’t say anything, his cock still pulsing inside of you.

“I know. I love you too, never stopped.” 

“Did you at least read the acknowledgements or did you just dive right in?”

“I never read the acknowledgements for books, thought you would’ve remembered that.” You watch him get up, walking around the living room, looking for something. You were both still naked and the entire room smelled of sex. 

“I did remember that and when you barged in my door, I already knew that you still hadn’t changed when it came to that. Here, read this part right here.” He brings you over a copy and you run your fingers around the softback cover with a small smile on your face; this silly thing had brought you both back together and right now you could give less than a fuck about those reviews. 

Feeling the spine of the book, you open it and can practically smell the scent of an unopened new book. Turning the first few pages, you go to the one page acknowledgment and read it aloud: “She might not read this book. But if she does, by chance. I hope she knows that I still love her.” You wiped your eyes and smiled. “You’re an asshole, you know?”

He lets out a hearty laugh, “I know baby.” Kissing the top of your head, he gets up and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and you follow him. “I think I have enough material to write a third book now.” He grabs his phone and starts typing, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Attempting to grab his phone he chuckles and uses his height to his advantage by standing taller.

Standing on the tips of your toes you snort, “Don’t even joke about that!” But a smile takes over your face and he can’t help but smile too. 

[laundrybiscuits]

(purify our misfit ways tag | AO3)

After the ultimate betrayal that is her best friend experiencing some kind of gay apotheosis about Steve Harrington, Robin’s in no mood to put up with any shenanigans from that quarter.

“How’d you meet Eddie, anyway?”

Ah, so the shenanigans will be starting early today. Robin marshalls all the authority she can muster in knee-high socks and turns to him, hands on her hips.

“Hey, dingus! Did you forget what I said just the other day about harassing him?”

“How am I harassing him? He’s not even here! You sure he’s not your boyfriend? Because you’re sounding kinda—” Steve breaks off and snaps his fingers. “Wait, you totally want him to be your boyfriend, don’t you? That’s why you’re being so weird.”

Robin thumps her head against the display case. She’ll have to clean up the smudge later, but right now it is vitally important that she express her pain in some concrete way.

“How many times do I need to tell you, no. Not my boyfriend, and I wouldn’t date him if he were the last person on earth.”

“C’mon, Robin. I know I’m not, like, your favorite person, but I get it. I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

“The words for how far you are from getting it have yet to be invented in any language,” Robin informs him. “If getting it is here in Hawkins, you are on the other side of Alpha Centauri and getting lightyears farther every second. We’ve sent probes after you, but they’ve fallen prey to decay while attempting to traverse the vast distances between you and getting it.”

“Sure,” Steve drawls, patronizingly. “Whatever you say.” Robin thumps her head against the display case a few more times for good measure.

Steve doesn’t tease her about his extremely wrong assumptions, like she’d expected. It’s much worse: he’s supportive.

“You know, it’s pretty cool that you’re, like, smart. Plenty of guys are into that.”

“Ew,” Robin says. “Please don’t hit on me.”

“What—I’m not! I’m saying, I bet Eddie likes smart girls.”

“Bet you a million bucks he doesn’t,” says Robin flatly.

Also, in her experience, guys do not in fact like smart girls; it doesn’t really matter to her either way, because she bets it would also suck to have a bunch of guys into her for real, but her kind of smarts have only ever made her a target for bruised egos. Kinda funny that Steve Harrington, the guy with the biggest ego she’s ever come across, doesn’t get that.

Maybe it’s not really ego, though. She thinks about the stilted half-truths he’s dropped about his current circumstances; he’s clearly having the worst summer of his life and not exactly coping the best anyone’s ever coped, but he doesn’t seem to be taking it out on anyone else.

Well, she assumes he’s not. It’s not like she knows what he gets up to outside Scoops, but…nobody ever comes to visit him at Scoops. She wonders if his friends even know he’s working here, or that he has to work in the first place.

So if he’s mad and frustrated about his whole situation, and Robin can’t imagine not being mad and frustrated about his whole situation, he’s either being incredibly professional and keeping his temper tantrums to his off-hours, or he’s gone through some kind of evolution. She’s honestly not sure which one’s more likely, even though professional and Steve Harrington should never belong in the same sentence, ever.

She definitely wouldn’t describe him as evolved, though. Case in point: his attempts to be subtle about her alleged romantic inclinations towards Eddie.

“Sometimes, guys are just nervous,” Steve says halfway through their next shift. “I mean, that’s why they might not ask someone out, even if she’s awesome.”

“Please never talk again,” says Robin.

“I’m not talking about anyone special!” Steve holds up his hands, wide-eyed and faux-guileless. “Just, I bet if a girl wanted a guy to ask her out, it would speed things up a lot if she dropped some hints. Give him some hope. That kind of thing.”

She bikes over to Eddie’s place straight from her shift, fueled by new heights of exasperation.

She’s been spending a lot of time there this summer. It’s strange and exciting to have a friend who basically lives alone; she’s met Wayne Munson once or twice, but only ever in passing, and he doesn’t seem to have any rules about how Eddie has to behave in the trailer. Eddie’s never worried about breaking stuff or being home at certain times. He doesn’t even seem to clean up after himself if he doesn’t feel like it. His bedroom floor could probably use a bucket of bleach, or maybe a lit match, but it’s his choice to keep it that way.

Robin is barely seventeen, and that kind of freedom seems so impossibly far away. Of course she knocks on Eddie’s door whenever she gets the chance.

“He’s being nice about it,” she says when he opens the door.

“About…?” Eddie doesn’t ask who he is.

“About how we’re, like, the tragic untold love story of the ages!”

A week ago, she might’ve felt too awkward to refer to anything about romance between them, despite…everything they’ve disclosed. God, she can’t even say the words in her own head unless she works up to it first. Eddie’s been really great about giving her space and not making her talk about it; even aside from The Steve Incident, though, he’s started mentioning stuff about guys now and then. Just little stuff, like thinking actors are cute or whatever. She thinks he might be doing it to reassure her that he wasn’t lying about being gay, which is hilarious because now that she’s looking for it, the whole thing seems really obvious. It’s less hilarious because she knows she’s been slow at working her way back to being totally comfortable with him, hence why she wouldn’t have brought up the idea of them together even a week ago.

That was before two full shifts of Steve Harrington’s well-intentioned meddling pushed her to the breaking point, though. She doesn’t have time to feel weird about things, she needs to complain to her best friend. So hey, in a sense, maybe Steve Harrington did help their relationship after all—not that she’s about to give him any points for trying.

“Eddie,” she says, grabbing his shoulders. “Steve is a visual learner. I need you to help me demonstrate to him, once and for all, how we have zero chemistry. Whatever the opposite of chemistry is, that’s what we have. Steve needs to learn this, visually, so that he will stop trying to convince me I’m a total catch and can definitely lure you in with my feminine wiles.”

She looks him in the eye and digs her fingers in, just in case he tries to make a run for it. “Eddie. I need you to come back to Scoops.”

[prodigal-explorer]

so as someone who is only on chapter one of omori and is obsessed with it here are my thoughts as a new member of the fandom

bear in mind that i haven’t finished the game. i only just got to that one creepy forest place? like the one after the spiders? please don’t spoil!!

but spoilers for everything before that below

1) I HATE BASIL. he’s such a stupid little punk. “uwu im so smol and helpless and i always get bullied and i’m so sweet and innocent” I JUST KNOW THAT FUCKER IS HIDING SOMETHING. everytime i end back in that stupid white room it’s because HES DOING SOME SUSSY SHIT. i also just hate him and everything about him and i know for a damn fact that he’s hiding something horrible behind that sweet little smile and he thinks he’s tricking me but he’s NOT I KNOW HIS GAME.

anyway.

2) i literally cannot decide on a favorite character. i have a least favorite, that’s pretty obvious, but when it comes to a favorite im torn. i LOVE omori, aubrey, kel, and hero all the same! i love mari too but i’m a little salty against her because all her hints for the quests are severely unhelpful 😭 but i still love her tho. i just love the main four so so much and i physically cant choose who i like better. poor little aubrey seems so scared and alone when she has the pink hair and she’s so kind in the little space world thing. hero is a sweetheart and i can’t wait to meet him in the colorful world where i’m moving or whatever. and kel is literally so me 😂 it’s not even funny he just does whatever the fuck he wants and that deserves some respect on his name. and omori is a kickass main character who has a cool thing going for him. but these four characters are sooo well crafted and i love how they work together! it’s a great dynamic balance!

3) i’m either a really bad gamer or the game is super long. i finished the prologue in like seven hours. it took SO LONG. i’m not used to indie games taking that long to play considering that i got through all of undertale in like 10-12 hours my first time. it’s awesome! i love finding all the secrets and talking to all the npcs but DAMNNN.

4) this game has so. much. detail. it’s insane. like the sheer amount of mini games and tiny pockets of lore. it’s like higher than undertale level and i don’t mean to keep going back to undertale but i see a lot of similarities in the game style. i also totally got sucked into playing like 30 rounds of blackjack on omoris computer. it was cool af.

5) the fighting mechanics are super hard. maybe i just suck at strategy but i am so bad at the fights that i just run away whenever i have the opportunity 😭 it’s a problem. i also have no clue how the happy sad angry shit works, i just make omori sad so stab has an attack boost and make aubrey angry so headbutt has an attack boost but other than that i don’t really use it at all and i don’t understand it. maybe that’s why it took me literally 10 tries to get past space ex boyfriend? it’s really fun i just think it’s supposed to be easier than it is and i just missed a memo on strategy.

6) i really love the message so far. the way that mental health is portrayed as something that’s a never ending journey. omori doesn’t just breathe and then everything’s okay, the game highlights realistic coping strategies and makes things like depression, anxiety, and phobias to understandable for any audience through a very creative medium: an indie video game. it’s genius. and i just love how it’s been approached so far, it’s very inspiring!

7) i’m terrified that this fandom is gonna make me mad, i swear to god if i just walk in and see a bunch of basil stan’s i’m turning and walking back out 💀 i mean okay maybe i’ll like basil better later but chances for that seem very low right now. my sister told me that apparently he went through some trauma thing? womp womp don’t care he’s an annoying mf who keeps taking me back to that boring white room where i stab myself, he’s a party pooper and i want a tornado to blow his dumb little flower house down.

[aikyudo]

I wanted to share this! I'm officially down to my 'starting weight'from all the way back in 2018. Back then, I had just started to notice some weight gain and tried to exercise to loose weight, but I didn't really track calories or change my diet. I hated exercising back then so I quickly dropped it.

Where I was in my life back then really sucked. I dropped out of college after my grandmother died of cancer and had to find my own place to live and a job because my mother couldn't support me while I tried to go to school. I'm pretty certain I was depressed.

I had turned 21 in 2018 and quickly developed an addiction to alcohol. I was absolutely using it to cope with my shitty life. I lived by myself in a studio apartment, worked a call center job that I hated, my boyfriend (now husband) was going to college 2 hours away and would never call me on the phone, only text, and I would only see him on the weekends.

I would get drunk basically every night, sometimes cry, because I was lonely. All my friends from highschool, I felt, had abandoned me and they were going to college. I felt like a loser.

In 2020, RIGHT before Covid hit, I moved into the house I live in today. My husband and I live in his childhood home in the countryside. When I moved in, he was still in college and I still lived alone, but at least it wasn't in the studio apartment. I think if I had to go through Covid in my studio apartment, my mental situation and addiction would have absolutely gotten catastrophicly worse.

But after 2020, I stopped drinking alcohol to cope and became a habitual drinker, I would still get drunk most nights of the week, but it just became the thing to do. I would mark my schedule around times when I could be hoke to drink. I never wanted to stay out late because then that meant I couldn't get drunk. If I was busy and didn't drink, especially on a weekend night, I felt strongly like I had wasted the night because I couldn't get drunk.

I tried cutting back, "weekends only" but it never lasted. I kept gaining weight and kept drinking way way too much. I ended up getting encouragement to go 100% sober from an unlikely person, my husband's pothead friend.

New Years of 2023, I decided my new years resolution for 2024 was to go sober and loose weight. I went sober and it took a few weeks, but I was surprised by things that I just thought were my personality at that point.

After about 2 weeks for my body to fully flush out any residual effects of alcohol from my body, I noticed I slept better, had more energy, didn't have as much brain fog and was surprised by how much more free time I had in the evenings. Crazy how when you're not shitfaced all the time, you have more time for your hobbies!

May 2024 was my one year wedding anniversary, and I decided to share some drinks with my husband to celebrate. I didn't get wicked drunk or anything, just a little tipsy. Then the following weekend, we shared more drinks to make sure we finished the expensive ($50!) Wine we had bought. The weekend after that I drank the most I had in months.... a single tall beer and two shots. Oooo wow soooo crazy I know. But the days after that I felt like, itchy. I wanted to be drunk SO bad it was driving me nuts. I didn't even have THAT exceptionally good of a time! I drank my beer and played minecraft, I wasn't even that drunk!

After that I decided that i really couldn't even drink occasionally if it made me want to just BE drunk for no reason afterwards. My whole family, both sides, is just riddled with addiction. Usually alcohol, but I found out my grandmother and her mother both had an opium addiction.

For loosing weight, I had been going to the gym but stopped because I got more and more involved with my sewing hobby. But the main thing I did to loose weight is calorie counting.

Listen, it SUCKS tracking everything and being mindful of what you eat all the time. Of course I still have sweets and fast food occasionally (right now I am a FIEND for stove top hot chocolate and I need to slow it down because that is a LOT of junk calories).

I think a lot of people are scared of calorie counting because of the stories we hear about teenage girls going bulimic and obsessing over their weight, but honestly for me, it's the only way I've successfully lost weight.

I've tried weight loss through the years with no success because I was still an alcoholic and wasn't calorie tracking. I cannot deny my own success-- I went from 180lbs to about 145 lbs in 8 months. That's 35 pounds lost! I was technically obese! Although I certainly didn't look it.

I feel better about myself after my weight loss, I definitely look better, I'm vain I admit. Being a slimmer size has been having its own problems, I have to have a completely new wardrobe and now I have no idea what my bra size is. My goal weight is 125-130 so I'm still loosing weight, which makes me a little worried because I'm still sewing new outfits and garments for myself, haha.

But I'm so so glad that I finally went sober more than anything. I'm so happy I have the time and the headspace to really enjoy my hobbies and get stuff done. Of course I miss it, I'm an alcoholic after all and I think I always will be, but if I'm really craving something there are some AMAZING 0% beers and wines out there. And usually I get cravings if I'm bored, which is usually when I would drink. Bored? Have a beer and get shitfaced and watch markiplier. He's always there for a good drunk time lol.

If you are struggling with alcoholism or addiction and want someone to speak with, please feel free to drop me a line, I'm always available to talk.

[mechanicalpoet]

So I had a bit of a fight before I went to England with my brother.

Basically I wanted to talk to him about how him shitting on my coping strategy at Thanksgiving basically broke it, which sucked. Because when I needed it, it didn’t work anymore. Like when the smartest person I know says that my coping strategy is incorrect, how am I supposed to just ignore that.

And of course he got mad at me for being irrational and it shouldn’t matter blah blah blah… And then he got into how he had been hospitalized, and he was still coming back from all of that and still having trouble. And maybe I’m the asshole because I was like, OK well I had to go through a super traumatic experience by myself because no one in this family actually puts me first or gives a fucking shit about me.

Plus I’m the one who has been trying to think ahead for what happens when our parents can’t work or look after themselves or one of them dies, and I know for a fact that he has put a single thought into any of that because he doesn’t fucking have to. I didn’t tell him any of that, because I would definitely make me the asshole, but I did say like, what, do I have to be hospitalized for anyone to take me seriously or to actually give a shit because if I’m hospitalized, it’s because I’m literally starving to death. Because I know I’m still too fat for anyone to take me seriously with the eating disorder. Obviously that did not end well, and I haven’t talked to him since.

Related, there was a moment when we (me, KT, Festival Boyfriend) were in England, the second last day, where I’m kind of proud of myself for. We went out to Camden, and we had all kind of been sick, especially Festival Boyfriend and KT. We’d been out all day so they could get tattoos. I ate I think a croissant at breakfast, and that was pretty much it. I had wanted to get some thing to eat in Camden, but I didn’t know what I wanted, and they both really wanted pizza but they wanted to sit down inside somewhere. So I figured that we would get them food and then when they had a bit more energy after eating, we could go get me something to eat and I wouldn’t feel rushed.

Except when they were done eating, and obviously I didn’t really eat, they were both Really really exhausted, especially KT, and just wanted to go back. So we went back and Festival Boyfriend made us walk (pretty much just started walking instead of waiting for a bus to her hotel) because he could tell that I was really anxious and he knows that that helps.

And I just felt internally like it wasn’t important for me to eat and it didn’t matter and it was more important to look look after their well-being and all of that shit, and I really really really didn’t want to eat because I felt like I didn’t deserve it. But I knew that I had to, so we stopped at a grocery store and I got sushi well holding his hand and being very very terrified of… Grocery stores I also got some chocolate because I was feeling really shitty too.

But I’m kind of proud of myself for stopping and saying, hey I need to eat something and look after myself for a minute. He was also happy I found something and he said that he was not gonna go home until I had something that I felt safe eating, even if it meant that we walked for another 40 minutes.

I’m also kind of impressed because I told myself that I would not cry in a grocery store, and I cried twice. Because I’m clearly a well adjusted fully functional human being.

[burninlovebutler]

17 - Do Not Disturb // Forever Winter // a.b x oc

warnings: sad?, ANGST, more internal conflict you know the drill, mentally unstable shit, drugs, 18+ always, mdni

17/? - Austin copes (poorly) with what he knew was always going to happen. But perhaps the loneliness and internal turmoil could ignite some motivational fuel.

see masterlist/summary for background info + chapter log

𝚂𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝙶𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜, 𝚊 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕

-AUSTIN-

Elsie rushed into my bedroom tossing her duffle bag of clothes onto the bed, hastily throwing her belongs in. I knew this was coming but I guess a part of me - a deep deep part of me - wanted her to stay. What she saw in him I will never know. What does she need him for anyway? She could stay here and

and

well, I don't really know.

I wasn't her boyfriend, nor did I want to be.

Couldn't a best friend be enough? Maybe without him we could keep doing what we did last night. I'd like that. I'd really like that. Probably more than I should. 

We could come up with some intricate plan. Friends only - sex - no strings - and especially no love. At least not the romantic kind. Only friendship, friends with benefits, nothing messy. I know people say friends with benefits never works out but, our friendship was stronger than that. It could withstand it, right? It could withstand anything.

Anyway, it would be better than whatever fucked up shit she had with Nox. That shit was anything but love. And it'd probably be better than whichever ditzy girl I end up with next.

It didn't matter because I'd never pitch that to her and she'd leave no matter what I said.

“You just don’t fucking understand Austin.”

“No, I think I understand perfectly fine. Can’t you see what he does to you? You’re fucking delusional to go back to him.” My hands gesturing with my words, “You were here for weeks because you had a friend over and he was insecure.” Jaw clenching, “He had you in a chokehold because you had a friend over, is that not insane to you?”

She sucked in a breath closing her eyes and clutching a shirt like she was restraining from saying something she shouldn’t.

I was doing the same, restraining from throwing in her face what we had done last night. 

'I'm sitting in your lap silly'

'I wanna do it again'

'Never with anyone else'

’Stay’

“You just don’t fucking understand.” She repeated, this time through clenched teeth and a pointed hand.

“Oh really? What is it then? What is it that I don’t fucking understand?” My hand snatched the blue chiffon shirt from her death grip, holding it hostage for her attention.

Anger coursed through her, I could see it on her pinched face when she snapped up to me. “I love him Austin, he’s my boyfriend.” Going out of her way to emphasize that word as if it was the most important piece of this entire puzzle. 

“Yeah well, he doesn’t fucking act like it.” The words jutted from my lips before I could stop them, but it was the truth. My arms defensively crossed my chest. 

She narrowed her eyes at me pressing her lips together. “And you do?”

The words like daggers, ones I wasn’t armed for. But maybe I did act more like it than him, since I actually cared about her - and could actually make her cum. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, well actually, just the bare fucking minimum. It’s really not that fucking hard to be a good man, especially not to her. I didn't understand how he could treat her like that, with the heart that she has, the body that she has. Any half decent man would treat her like a queen, not like she's some simple handmaiden.

Would it be so bad if I did treat her better?

“Do you remember what you said to Nox when he had me against the fridge? You said, ‘at least Austin fucking cares about me’. What happened to that? Was that a lie? Because I don’t fucking think so.”

The edges of her mouth dropped into a frown and stayed silent for a beat. “I just have to Aus. I just need to go back. I love him. I have to try to make it work.” Her voice softer now, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

I stepped forward towering over her, “Answer the question.”

Her green eyes fluttered down from mine.

“No.”

Exactly.

But I knew I couldn’t stop her, no matter how much I wanted, no matter how much I tried. I wasn’t going to win this fight. I never do.

“You can’t go back to him El, please don’t.” I pleaded for what seemed like the millionth time.

She slung her bags over her shoulder, rushing out of the room, determined to reach the front door.

“I have to Aus- I love him.” Not daring to look up at me. “He’s better now, he apologized. It’s okay I promise.”

Safeguarding the door with a pressed hand, stopping her from opening the door, “Elsie, I can’t let you leave- it’s not safe. Don’t you see that?”

The anger returned. I was sick of it. “Well don’t fucking come back to me when he breaks your heart again. I won’t do it anymore, I can’t do it. I won’t pick up the pieces again. You don’t get to just use me whenever your shitty boyfriends do shitty things.”

“Use you? That’s fucking rich.”

Neither one of us still not daring to break the close call clause. 

“I have to go.” Though her tone wasn’t angry, it was soft. Sad.

And as quickly as she ended up here was as fast as she was gone.

-

It had been weeks since I’d spoken to her since she left. There was a strange knot that had taken shelter in my stomach. It feigned anger, maybe sadness. It was odd, like the type of hurt that comes from being cheated on.

My warm bed had become my refuge. I laid staring at the ceiling while my mind had floated somewhere I couldn’t reach. It wasn’t until my phone alarm went off that I realized that I never fell asleep. I hadn’t slept at all.

Letting out a heavy sigh before trying my best to unglue myself from the bed I had fused with. My body had been feeling so empty. Arms, stomach, chest – all hollow. My ribs felt like an empty bird cage.

After the alarm, my phone rang once more. This time from Elsie. This was about the 4th time she’s called in the last 2 weeks. I knew because I kept count. With an annoyed groan, I clicked to ignore it then turned on Do Not Disturb. My head was too crowded to even attempt deciphering the knots that strung my intestines together every time she called.

Was it because I was pissed? Or because I missed her? Was I hurt? Jealous?

This wasn’t the first time she’d ditched me for a boyfriend post-make up. But it never bothered me this much. It never hurt. But this did. And I didn’t know why. What was different now.

I pulled my gray MacBook opening it only to shut it again soon after. It was full of only study material for my newest role. The biggest of my career – which wasn’t saying much. It was just my first Hollywood role, everything I’d done so far had been indie shit. The heaviest pressure I had ever experienced since the character was so strong. Could I even execute that? I mean my last role was last year in a low budget film about aliens in an attic. Indie aliens. Not exactly Oscar worthy material.

My palms pressed into my sleepless eyes hard enough to cause white flashes in them. They glossed over to my wooden nightstand littered in trash, half eaten food, and pill bottles.

I need to get it together.

I filtered through the orange bottles, giving them a shake before reading the label. Sometimes I liked to play this game where I’d pick a number and take whatever bottle I ended up with on that round.

I plucked three different bottles before landing on my fourth, shaking it to make sure there were pills left. A flood of round, white pills poured into my hand and formed a small triangle in my palm. Cupping my hand, I poured the majority of them back, keeping two to swallow dry.

Keeping track of what meds I should take and when to take them became so exhausting. I lost track of whatever regimen I was supposed to be on, and I didn’t care anymore.

Some pills made me nauseous, some made me insanely thirsty, some ferociously hungry. Some made me too sleepy to function during the day, and others kept me up all night. And the ones that were supposed to keep me from fucking killing myself, killed my sex drive instead. That was arguably the worst one. Is life even worth it if you can’t get off?

I liked taking meds I chose, on my terms. The ones I liked.

I didn’t like the term addict. Nothing about my demeanor screamed addict. But I guess there is no mascot for addiction.

I derailed slightly, sure. But it was temporary, until I felt okay again. And it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t a relapse. I’m not out of control. I’ll get back on track when I feel better. I just needed a little break.

Anyway, I was still taking my meds. Technically.

My leg began to bounce, a dead giveaway that anxiety was creeping up. A chill rolled up my spine. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” I repeated to myself in an effort to calm down. My hand instinctively ran through my now shoulder-length hair, another anxiety reflex.

I attempted to focus on a blank wall, a coping mechanism suggested by my therapist. Thanks Carol.

If you look hard enough at something, even a wall, you can always find details to focus on – the paths the paint streaked, the texture, the way light or shadows bounced off of it. The objective was to slow my brain down before it got overwhelming. It worked sometimes, depending on how soon I noticed the signs.

My worn-down nails nervously picked at what was left of my raw cuticles. They were ripped to shreds, sometimes pulling blood.

Slowly my anxiety temporarily slipped away, and I was finally able to get out of the messy bed.

I spread almond butter on some wheat toast accompanied by a glass of cold oat milk. My leg began to bounce once more.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to get a little extra help.

Now, I wasn’t particularly fond of smoking weed since being diagnosed, but it had helped me calm down before.

After breakfast I grabbed a metallic black grinder, picked some shredded green out, and packed it into a glass pipe. I flicked the lighter on letting the flame dance above the leaves before letting it burn. I wrapped my lips around the mouth of the glass piece, inhaling a sharp hit of smoke. Immediately with an exhale, the curling smoke cloud seemed to lift weight from my chest.

-

Inspired by my newly brightened mood, I decided to take my laptop and find a small coffee shop to work in. As I strolled through the city, the cold New York air hit my face pulling some pink out in my cheeks. My dazed bloodshot eyes squinted as I walked past rushing people. The city was never quiet, not even for a second, but this was one of the calmer days. And yet it still felt so crowded. I took the brief lull in the crowd to appreciate the falling snow, tilting my head back and letting snowflakes delicately land on my tongue. 

Finding my regular coffee shop, Roast. I ordered my usual and picked a quaint corner to work in. Roast was my favorite because it looked like a traditional coffee shop. Everything wooden, soft jazz filling the space, real coffee beans, quiet.

I worked for what felt like hours, and after 3 more oat milk cold brews later I was able to work on everything I couldn’t at home.

-

This was my new routine. Wake up, smoke, go to Roast, work, come home. For the last week I had been working diligently on my research. My mood was brighter, I felt lighter, and life didn’t feel so bleak anymore.

I finally found my rhythm, my secret formula. Therapy was working – the days I attended anyway. I was more productive, more focused, sharp.

The only thing that was missing was Elsie. I wanted her to see me like this, she would be so proud of me. But I couldn’t bring myself to answer any call.

Everything felt so complicated now. I wanted to be a good friend, protect her, get her out of the situation. But she wouldn’t listen to me. She couldn’t see how shitty he was, how dangerous he was. It was like he brainwashed her and put her in rose-colored glasses.

A turn of my stomach suggested something else. I didn’t want to call because things had changed – or I guess went back to normal.

Did I want to go back?

Another dull ache in my chest hinted it was more than that. The fact that she wanted to go back. She erased everything- like a swift shake of a 90’s Etch-A-Sketch.

-

As I made my way back home from the coffee shop, the freezing cold laid claim to my face. I tucked my laptop case against my body, as if it would warm me up. This was my fourth successful, productive day. A foreign sense of pride had planted a seed of motivation in me. While I wasn’t going to leave for filming anytime soon, I had gained more confidence in myself. It was almost enough excitement to snuff out the nerves.

Even though this positivity coursed through me, the arrogant New Yorkers I was swerving between were infuriating, annoying, unbearable. Almost enough to make me snap.

After crossing a busy street, I passed by a corner bistro. I almost missed it. If I hadn’t needed to dodge a tourist, I wouldn’t have seen it.

I caught a glimpse of a tall man in a leather jacket.

Could it be?

Is that?

I back peddled and dipped behind the corner to get a closer view of the outdoor table he sat at. I felt like some kind of super spy. Though some wicked spy gear would’ve came in handy as his back was facing me.

My eyes widened not wanting to believe what I was seeing. A distinctive dagger tattoo on his hand that I had the luxury of coming to be very familiar with. Nox. Sat across from him was a blonde in a slinky black dress. A dozen thoughts spun through my head all at once. How was I supposed to tell Elsie?

Pulling my iPhone from my back pocket, I decided to snap a quick picture for proof. That was probably the smartest thing I’d ever done on my feet. Since we weren’t exactly speaking to each other, I wanted to make sure she knew I was being honest. Especially all that shit I said about him before she left.

Elsie’s apartment wasn’t too far from where I was and there was no way I could keep this from her. No matter how much it would hurt her. I had to tell her. 

Next Chapter: 18 - Nothing There

// i regret to inform you that after this chp the story takes a turn onto an absolute menace of an emotional rollercoaster so … buckle up 😬 I apologize in advance 🫣

as always, a huge THANK YOU for every like, reblog, comment or follow - you all have been SO sweet - i appreciate any support, it means the world to me & truly fuels me

i love talking about this story so feel free to send asks or comments! i'm very open to sharing headcanons, teasers or just general answers :)

love y'all

-M🥀 xx

[theunseeliefairy]

So, I did realize something watching last night. She was having a great time being coddled until she got cocky and asked to be part of a team. And then realized she’s the slowest one. Which, she shouldn’t get upset about but she obviously did. Which is interesting. I thought she matured passed me by leaps and bounds. But she coped with it how i would (so I find it pretty well). Also, he’s so attentive he probably taught her.

So I realized a theme with millennial women. At least the ones I’ve cyber stalked. They seem to only be on twitch when they have a supportive gamer boyfriend. I find that so weird (I know hate is likely but you should have a thick skin for it if you’re going into it duh) because that would be something I would do. Not the women that haven’t missed the gaming part of our millennial upbringing. Yall played more video games than I’ve ever had and only NOW your on twitch? If I had the experience and knew how to spend my money, I would have been started a twitch while single.

But here’s the kicker! They always end the stream like they are about to have sex. You hear the flirting getting hot and then the stream goes off. This is performative af. (And an obvious cope) You can’t tell me it’s not because mute and just turn off the stream sis why am I hearing the flirting before you decide? AND ALSO! I would be taking streaming seriously. Trying to make this shit my job. Don’t flirt with me (where everyone can hear) at work sir tf 😏

I would have tried it but I’m with a bum that can’t get his shit together. So I’m not hating on it I’m actually admitting I would have never known to have that performance in my tool box until now. She taught me a lot of social things, just unfortunately, it was all the toxic stuff.

Also, the full circle sign that coming back into her life is not the decision to make, her man replaces me perfectly. He even talked about your middle school game we bonded over because I didn’t know how else to make friends so that game (the only autistic game i played) was the first thing that blurted out of my mouth when she said hi. And she just straight up doesn’t have fun with me anymore like she has fun with him. It made me go “oh there she is she just doesn’t want to be that with me anymore.” This is not even a gay weird thing or anything lol (I’m obviously afraid of women because they see the darkness within me pretty well) I think she just finally saw the darkness within me as well and was terrified. It sucks on my end yes, because I’ll never find another friend like that, it ruined me, how do I enjoy another person without the same benefits I got with her? Doesn’t seem possible.

[bigouncethehobo]

Howdy. How y'all doin? Thought I forgot about ya, huh? Nah. I wouldn't do that. I'm very forgetful lately but not about this. It feels nice putting stuff here when I need it.

I'll cut to the chase though. It sucks keeping shit bottled in. I have to let it out in controlled bursts, like a pipe full of steam that would blow up if you don't open the valve every once in a while. How do I do that? Well, I would normally do something sexy but that's kind of out of the question. Smoking? Just ran out of smokes. Vaping sure helps and gaming has been a little frustrating recently. The one thing that kept me going sort of ok was work and even that isn't an option. I've come under the impression that I may not be employed anymore. Hell of a cousin I have on that one.

So, here I am, unemployed(?), unable to do anything of the passionate variety, out of smokes, and frustrated with games. What's a man who doesn't know how to handle his feelings to do? Well, I have taken to fantasizing about picking fights with people. Not full on fisticuffs but I've been trying to egg people on to argue. I need an outlet and getting into a heated conversation just seems like the most sane way to do that. Hell, I've come very close to telling some people I hate that I hate them. But I have to play D&D with them and I like our mutual friends so I don't want to get kicked out of the group for being the asshole. I'm kind of running out of ideas here. I kinda hate my life right now. My body is breaking apart. Where I'm not broken I'm just fat. I can't hold a job to save my damn life. I'm the classic high school dropout failure and I kinda don't care and that sucks even more because I want to care. If anyone told me that I'd die in this country that I hate, I'd just say "Figures, with my luck", and keep putting changing my life off for "tomorrow" until the day I die in this country I hate. Living in this house has never brought me any joy. I've never been happy here. I only know that I hate pretty much everything. I'm like the dad on that Netflix show, "The Ranch". A surly, grumpy old bastard who hates everyone and everything. I never sugarcoat things even when it hurts people because it worth lying to someone when the truth is more important. On the other hand, if I go picking a fight with people, I'll quickly find myself out of contact with the only people who keep me sane. I used to love being alone. Nobody to keep track of. Nobody to bring any drama into my life. Nobody I had to care about for any reason. It was the dream. But then I had to make friends, like an idiot, and now I can't live without human connection. I hate it. I really do.

Hell, for weeks I've even been passive-aggressive at my own boyfriend because I don't know how to talk to anyone without being a jackass. Do you know what it's like to be subtle about stuff, then being so subtle that not even you know what you're trying to day half the time? I don't, cause I don't know what I'm trying to say half the time on account if being too subtle.

I'm just an idiot who thinks deserves better but just deserves to be alone and drunk.

I actually bought a bottle of vodka a while back. Still haven't drinked a drop of it. I'm afraid of becoming an alcoholic to cope with my lack of emotional availability. On the other hand, it would help people cope with my emotional unavailability. It'd let them blame the alcoholism rather than the fact I've never actually dralt with my emotions other than devising the fool-proof strategy of "Bottle it up until you die or explode. Preferably when you die in an explosion".

Sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of loving. Not just in a relationship kind of way either. I wonder if I can truly love a friend or family member. Like, what is that really like? I say that to my friends but I don't know what it means. I just see them as people who haven't realized I'm actually some jackass who's waiting for an opportunity to sabotage himself and leave me to my miserable existence.

I can't make promises of being better the next time I type something up in here. Hell, I don't even know when that will next be. I can tell you that I'll probably still be miserable when I do, though. And yeah, I know how I sound right now with the bitching and the whining. Depression is a hell of a drug. It makes you feel safe and comfortable in the thought that you're a failure so you shouldn't even try. If you don't try, you can't fail. If you can't fail, then you automatically succeed at not failing. That small comfort goes a long way to keep you down in the dirt where you "belong". I'm just tired...

[maykmeasandwich]

And here we are again - prologue

Pairing: College!Bucky x College!Reader (College AU)

Summary: On a chance roommate switch, you meet your annoying (and slightly vexing) dorm room neighbor Bucky who played an antagonizing role in your first semester of college. But between your clubs, work, and your overbearing boyfriend Brock, you think the only part Bucky will play in your second semester of college is to run into him in the hallway and give you a reason to favorite your RA’s number. But when the two of you are stuck in the dorms over winter break, you begin to question just why you hate him so much. 

Word count: 725

Warnings: A little lot of cussing, but really nothing!!

a/n: First fic. I’m dealing with the worst situationship issues rn and what better way to cope than to write you and me a fictional college boyfriend. If this sucks butt please let me know, I have very little experience. 

~~

It was official. You hated this bitch.

You had no idea who exactly was responsible for this, but the asshole that had been stealing the last chocolate cupcake in the dining hall the past three weeks had struck again. Only this time instead of wondering which lowlife in your dingy dinging hall decided to run off without a trace and leave you cake-less, you caught the dick who was responsible for snagging your favorite dessert. And you were face to face.

Watching him sit down at an empty on the other side of the dining hall you took this as your chance to negotiate yourself a cupcake. Marching over to where he sat, which was facing towards the large dining hall windows you reached out to tap his shoulder.

Six feet of pure muscle stood between you and a chocolate cupcake and you didn’t care how your breath caught in your throat when he turned around in his seat to face you. Blue eyes, long brown hair, and a very nice looking arm attached to your cupcake. Well, 3/4ths of your cupcake. A bit of frosting poked out of a small smirk forming across his face. There was something slightly familiar about him like you'd seen him before. Before you could continue daydreaming you snapped yourself back into reality, bringing your eyes back up to meet his you put on a brave and menacing face and spoke.

“That’s my cupcake.”

“This one?” he said lifting it slightly and tilting his head at you. “I’m pretty sure that it's mine doll. But I’d be happy to share it.”

The lopsided grin made your head spin slightly, you couldn’t help but inhale sharply at the thought of sharing a cupcake with the asshole. He brought the cupcake up to his lips and slowly licked at the frosting, still maintaining eye contact. You were blushing.

SHIT SHIT SHIIIT

Looking past him, you locked eyes with Brock. Who seemed to have been watching the situation unfold from the utterly pissed-off look plastered across his face. You were going to get a talking to if you split a very contaminated cupcake with this handsome devil. You managed to peel your eyes off of your very unhappy boyfriend and bring them back to the clear blue irises that patiently waited for your response.

“Not sharing.” 

“Suit yourself sugar,” he drawled in a soft Brooklyn accent. He proceeded to take a large bite reducing the 3/4ths cupcake to a half. By now Brock was stalking over to your booth staring the both of you down with a look that could kill. 

“If I see you take the last one again I promise I’ll ma-” Is all you managed to threaten before Brock slammed his tray down on the booth table. You finched slightly and the man in front of you took another quarter of the cupcake in a thoughtful bite. “Nevermind,” you muttered and turned back towards Brock with a trial of defeat following you like a snail trail. 

Sitting back down with Brock, he began spitting harsh questions demanding to know who that asshole was and why you were talking. Assuring him that it was nothing serious (seeing as Brock told you last week the cupcake thief was a good excuse to curb your sweets intake) you smiled at him and asked him about his day swiftly transitioning the conversation to Brock's football practice. Meanwhile, across the dining hall behind a curtain of long brown hair, two eyes watched you sit, wondering why it took you so long to notice him. 

[silversatoru]

Hi, I just finished burdens and OML 🥺🥺🥺

May I request some sort of megumi x reader continuous where the reader ends up becoming a powerful sorcerer (or a cursed spirit👀 whichever you’d like tbh) megumi and the reader somehow cross paths again a little while after the break up and he witnesses her fighting for the first time? I just know that boy would fall in love all over again but she’s moved on and he feels guilty and just angst? And maybe fluff idk. I’m new to requests so I hope I did this right, thank you so much❤️❤️

burdens pt. 2

a/n: hello, part two of this not-so-lovely story is finally here. every single one of you is allowed one free punch to my face for taking so long to write it,,, i’m so sorry. this is its fourth rewrite and it got a little darker than expected but it’s finally done,, i hope you enjoy <3

fushiguro megumi x f!reader

synopsis: you finally see megumi again at the kyoto sister school goodwill event

tags/warnings: angst, some graphic depictions of violence, character death

word count: 3k

“Do you know how tired I am of watching the people I love die? Things would be so much easier for me if you just stayed the fuck away”.

Megumi’s bitter words were on repeat in your head — the harshness of his voice leaving a hollow feeling carved into your chest. Tear-stained cheeks and shaky breathes had become your new normal these past few days. Tight, sharp pains filled your empty stomach, waves of nausea coursing through your body.

You’ve had no motivation to get out of bed lately, nevermind to shower or cook yourself a proper meal — honestly, for all you cared you could rot away in your blanket filled bed. You checked your phone like a fiend too, thinking that eventually, a miraculous text from Megumi would appear and make everything better. It never did.

He’d completely ghosted you since that dreadful day, and that hurt more than anything. You’d held onto a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't meant what he said. But as the days continued to pass, your hope quickly dwindled.

To say your current state was shameful was putting it lightly, and you were embarrassed at how poorly this was effecting you. You liked to think that you were strong, motivated, independent — that you didn't need some douchebag just to feel happy. But truth be told, breakups are fucking hard, and it's okay to not be okay for a while — or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

So when you were trudging miserably down the street to your local convenience store and you saw a familiar pair of jujutsu sorcerers, you wanted desperately to sink into the ground. You made a quick turn to head to a different shop, but it was too late, you were spotted.

“y/n! hey!” Two lighthearted voices sang through the air, filling your ears and making your heart clench in your chest.

You turned around and anxiously approached them, your unkempt hair and baggy eyes sending looks of concern across their faces.

“Hey girl, you good?” Nobara shot you a sideways glance, Maki raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh, ice cream,” You croaked, speaking for the first time in a couple days, “I’m here for ice cream, that’s all”.

“Yeah, but why do you look like a fucking zombie?” Maki pushed her eyeglasses further up her nose, her sharp eyes looking you up and down.

“Ah, he didn’t say anything to you guys, did he?” You shook your head, heavy eyes falling to ground as you refused to meet theirs.

“Don’t tell me…” Nobara’s face contorted, “Did he break up with you?”

You nodded, a pitiful chuckle falling from your lips, because if you didn’t laugh, you’d start sobbing right now.

Maki threw her arm around your shoulder, pulling you to her side and ushering you into the store, “It’s okay, men suck. Hang out with us today”.

Meanwhile, Nobara trailed quickly behind the two of you, anger seething from her teeth and steam practically billowing out of her ears.

“That fuckhead! I swear I’ll fuck his shit up big time, he won’t even know what fucking hit him. I knew that boy was stupid but shit, this is a whole new low for him! I-,” She continued to ramble and rant as Maki led you through the store, picking out drinks and snacks to help ease your pain.

The three of you ended up in a nearby park, sitting around a small picnic table and gorging on the massive array of snacks. Lighthearted conversation and lots of food make your chest ache a little less, and you even found yourself laughing and chatting as if things were normal. You’d told the two of them all about that day, about Megumi’s irrational words and his tragic breakdown that led to some kind of fucked-up break up sex.

“So, how are we gonna get back at him? Egg his car? Put bleach in his shampoo? Bugs in his food? God - it’s a shame his dad is dead because from the pictures I’ve seen that man was FINE and revenge sex—,”

“Nobara,” Maki shot her idiot girlfriend a dirty look, and the orange-haired girl quickly shut her mouth, “As much as I support any idea that revolves around ruining a man’s day, I don’t think revenge is the healthiest coping strategy here”.

You were tracing your eyes around Maki’s face as she spoke, and you found yourself carefully inspecting her purple glasses that rested softly on the bridge of her nose. And that’s when it clicked, the light bulb ignited in your head and you knew exactly what you wanted to do.

“Maki,” your voice was urgent, “You don’t have cursed energy, you can’t even see them without your glasses!”

Her face twisted and her nose scrunched, a look of distaste in her eyes, “I know?”

“So, you could teach me, right? You could help me learn how to use some cursed weapons?”

“Yeah! You have to Maki, then she can beat his ass with me,” Nobara chimed in.

“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Maki’s mouth formed an evil grin, “Could you imagine his face after watching you exorcise a curse?”

The three of your conversed for a bit longer, speculating and potting about training, weapons, and your very own pair of curse-seeing glasses. By the end of the night you had a plan, and a pretty good one if you say so yourself.

From that day on, teary eyes and achy hearts were a thing of the past, not because it was that easy to get over Megumi, but because Maki didn’t even allow you the time to feel dismal anymore. You met her everyday after classes without fail, and everyday she would train you until you thought your arms would fall off. After months and months of sore muscles, sweat, and the occasional injury, you were convinced that Maki was incapable of feeling pity or remorse for other living things. Every time you speculated about quitting, she’d set a fire under you, unafraid to remind you how weak you still were.

The green-haired sorcerer had ultimately decided that you worked best dual-armed -- a long, lightweight blade in each hand. On your final day of training, she officially gifted the two swords to you, as a “graduation” gift.

Skill-wise, you were by no means as incredible Maki, but you definitely held your own, and the progress you’d made in a mere 8 months was astronomical. They’d introduced you to a strange silver-haired man at some point, Gojo, who had taken not only an interest in you but also your plot against your ex-boyfriend. He cackled to himself when you told him why you were here, going on and on about how priceless Megumi’s face would be when he saw you.

Your appearance was highly anticipated, so why not debut at one of the biggest jujutsu events all year? The Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Event — Gojo thought it was the most perfect idea.

You tried hard to exude confidence as you walked at Nobara and Maki’s sides, but behind your arrogant facade your stomach was twisting itself into knots. Truthfully, you were scared to see Megumi again after so long.

And when your eyes met with his as you walked into the meeting room, you thought you just might pass out. You thought you were ready for this — but the look of complete shock, fear, and anger on his face as he looked you up and down almost made you regret all of it.

“What’s going on?” Megumi’s words were incredibly calculated, an edge on his voice.

His question was pointless, however, because judging by the fact that you were wearing a jujutsu tech uniform and had two swords sheathed at your sides could only mean one thing. Your hair was longer now too, and your frame was wider with an extra layer of muscle from all the training — you almost looked like a different person.

“I’ve been training with Maki, I-,” You spoke up to explain yourself, but you weren’t even granted the opportunity.

“No, no, Maki, what the hell did you do?” His eyes were shaky and laced with concern.

“I only did what she asked me to. I’m not the one who gave her a complex about being weak, you did that,” Maki shrugged, “and she’s not your girlfriend anymore dude, what do you care?”

Absolute confliction flashed through his eyes, uncertainty and madness swirling in his irises, “You’re right, I don’t care. Let me know when the event is starting”.

He took a sharp turn out of the room and let the door slam a little too hard behind him. The sound of his icey voice and the door shutting with unkind force was all too reminiscent of the night you broke up. Burying every emotion you had deep into your stomach you gave Maki a small, reassuring smile and plopped down on one of the couches.

“Alright, so when does this thing start?”

after the start of the event

Fighting the Kyoto students was proving to be much harder than you initially expected, but you were holding your own at Maki’s side. The two of you had easily taken down a small, kind, blue haired girl named Miwa, and now you were watching an emotional battle between Maki and her sister unfold.

Wait here, she’d told you, I want to do this one myself. Take some notes on my form and watch our backs, okay?

Okay, you’d said, a little confused but ultimately finding a nice spot up in a thick tree to carefully observe from. Maki was truly a force of nature, and it seemed like the other girl never actually had a chance of winning. It was honestly only a few minutes before the small black, haired girl was slumped against a tree and Maki was making her way back to you. Things were looking good, two of Kyoto’s student’s were down already and adrenaline was pumping through your veins.

You couldn't quite shake the awful feeling churning in your stomach though, and Megumi’s face was haunting your thoughts. You hadn’t seen him since before the event started, when an odd, pink haired boy jumped out of a box and freaked everyone out. Nobara had later explained who he was and what had happened, and you wondered how many awful surprises Gojo had planned today -- first you, then that.

A small rumble rippled under your feet, and Maki grabbed your arm as you watched a giant brown vine lurch it’s way out of the ground a few hundred yards in the distance.

“That technique doesn’t belong to anyone from Kyoto,” She shot you a look of concern and determination, “let’s go check it out”.

You gave her a firm nod, the two of you making your way towards the horrifying wooden vines. By the time you managed to arrive, Inumaki was already down and so was a dark-haired boy from Kyoto. A muscular, white curse with black markings and wooden branches for eyes was moments away from taking Megumi on all by himself — thank god you got here in time to help.

Megumi, however, was horrified when he saw you jump over the tall roofed building with Maki at your side. He’d just watched two incredible sorcerers get their shit rocked by this curse, there was no way you would stand a chance against this thing. But before he could even try to stop you, you and the green-haired sorcerer were flying through the air and taking shots at the curse. The two of you worked perfectly in sync, the months of daily training finally paying off.

He watched with intent glazed over his eyes, his heart threatening to lurch up his throat. You were a spectacle, and he always thought you were beautiful but seeing you now with dirt and blood stained clothes, cursed weapons gripped firmly in your hands, you truly were ethereal. He hated it though, he hated that he was falling in love with you all over again, especially under these circumstances. Guilt and anxiety was eating away at him — why did you have to get involved? Why couldn’t you have just stayed away like he told you to?

He was quick to join the two of you, sticking close to your side to protect you if need be — but, even with all three of you together the curse still had the upper hand. Maki had been swatted to the side, her back slamming hard against one of the tiled roofs and knocking her unconscious. It was down to just the two of you now, beads of sweat causing your hair to uncomfortably stick to the back of your neck. This was something that Maki’s training could have never prepared you for.

Megumi was getting tired, taking one wrong step and losing his footing momentarily. The curse saw this as a perfect window of opportunity, sending a spiral of vines and branches hurling for Megumi. It was fast, but the adrenaline coursing through you helped you to move faster, launching yourself through the air and intercepting the attack. The barky, wooden vines twisted violently through your stomach, shooting clean through your back and ripping a violent scream from your throat.

It hurt so bad, feeling the plant wriggle through your organs and tear you apart from the inside out. The curse retracted his vine a few moments later, leaving your mangled body to fall helplessly to the roof. Tears rippled from your eyes, your body shaking and seizing as you coughed up a few sprays of blood.

A long, strong pair of arms scooped you up instantaneously, and your head was resting against a firm chest — probably Megumi, but you didn’t quite have the energy to open your eyes to check.

“We’ll take it from here, get her to Ieiri!” You heard a pair of deep voices yelling to Megumi, but it was too foggy and far away for you to understand what they were saying.

Megumi was seething with anger, moving as fast as his feet could carry him and he ran through the school. As you waved in and out of consciousness, you batted open your eyes, stealing quick glances at his twisted features and — were those tears on his face?

“I- I’m sorry Megumi… I think I finally understand what you were so afraid of all this time,” Your voice was barely a croak, “when I saw it coming, I couldn’t stomach the thought of having to watch you die. I suddenly just thought I would do anything to keep you safe”.

Yeah, those were definitely tears, you could see them a little clearer now. His eyes were red and his cheeks were dried with salty streaks.

“You’re so thick-headed,” he mumbled, his grip around you tightening slightly as he picked up his pace, “I wish you would have made that realization before there was a giant hole in your stomach”.

“Me too,” You hummed, but you weren’t really in any pain anymore. The pain had subdued to a sweet warm sensation inside your stomach, and an intoxicating sleepiness was washing over your head, “I was angry for a long time, but I’m not mad at you anymore, Gumi. I hope you can forgive me too”.

You offered him a tiny smile, but the blood leaking from between you keeps made it anything but sweet.

“There’s nothing to forgive you for, you never did anything wrong,” He spoke quickly, his voice quiet and cracking.

“No, but we’re not gonna make it to Ieiri, I know that and so do you,” You fell into a violent fit of coughs again, sputtering red splatters all over the front of his uniform.

“Shut up”.

“It’s not your fault, none of it was ever your fault,” you choked out once the fit of coughs subsided — and you weren’t just talking about yourself, you were talking about all of the unfortunate tragedies he’d witnessed throughout this life.

“And you’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, you know? I hope that when you meet someone, your soulmate even, you can allow yourself to love them with every part of you”.

The words painfully left your lips, but you meant every single one of them. You were starting to realize that you and Megumi were never meant to make it to the end. You weren’t his soulmate, you were here to help him grow, so that when he did finally meet them he’d be ready.

“You deserve to be loved, Megumi,” You looked up at him with big eyes, but his face was starting to get really fuzzy now.

Your fingers were going numb and your mouth felt like it was filled with sand. You were so tired, letting your eyes flutter shut and your head rest softly against Megumi’s chest. You felt him stop running, you could even hear him screaming at you — but it was too far away for you to hear. You drifted closer and closer to eternal sleep, your soul swollen with love for the boy who broke your heart.

Megumi didn’t even feel sad when you stopped breathing in his arms — he just felt hollow. More empty and broken than he’d ever thought possible. You were the most incredible person he’d ever met — someone with extreme motivation, who acted with no fear or hesitation, who always had love to give, even when he didn’t deserve it. He’d never forget you, not for as long as he’d live anyway.

Even when he did meet a new girl a few years later — a compassionate, brave girl, who reminded him a lot of you — he wouldn’t forget. He wouldn’t forget your words and for the first time in his life he’d let his walls down for her. He’d allow himself to truly love, and be loved in return.

And maybe you were right, maybe he did deserve to be loved like this, because god, he finally feels whole again when she’s around. He just wishes you were still here so he could say thank you.

[rightsockjin]

Summary: Your best friend of your near entire life has been a total asshat to you ever since you started to casually date which didn't seem super fair to you since he did the exact same thing and you were nothing but supportive! It just sucks that you two are growing apart over a coping mechanism that you adopted to distract yourself from your overwhelming crush on said idiot. If only he knew. Wait- did you say that OUT LOUD?

Rating: M (What isn't on this blog?)

Genre: Maybe a little angst? Smut for sure tho.

Word count: 8003

Warnings: Thongs, sex, lewd thoughts, erections, physical pushing, raw dogging, cream pie, mentions of giving head, a looooooottt of swearing, mentions of slut shaming. Oh right- oppa kink and little splashes of korean as well.

yeo-chin= girlfriend

nam-chin= boyfriend

halmoni= grandma

apa=to hurt

aya=expression to express pain equivalent to 'ow'

Author’s note: HI EVERYONE! We are somewhat back!! So sorry for the long wait for content. Things have been insane and we’ve been working on a much- much longer fic for this blog which will involve all of the boys! It’s a long story but this hit me like a truck yesterday and it was initially meant to be a reaction but I couldn’t stop writing… so it’s 7k and the other boys will get their own version of this prompt “best friend is jealous of the attention you give to guys” thing. Starting once again with the one and only Yoongi! Hope y’all enjoy:)

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“You know it’s funny, I don’t remember asking,” Yoongi said virulently, his attention centered solely on his phone as he scrolled through instagram... or twitter... or maybe it was tinder. Your heart sank. You had been excited that this guy- Woojin- had given you attention. He was good looking by a lot of standards and it had boosted your confidence significantly. Of course, you wanted to share that excitement with your best friend. Rejecting someone that good looking always made you feel really powerful and attractive but you had barely shown him Woojin’s picture and commented on how attractive he was before your so called best friend had brushed you off and went back to his solitude and avoidance.

You had noticed that something was off for a while now but hadn’t commented on anything to avoid any conflicts but this was ridiculous. You had constantly listened to the stories of how girls would trickle in like water for him. He seemed to be going out with someone new every two weeks.

It wasn’t fair that you had to put up with his annoying descriptions of how beautiful these girls were while you sat and gave him your undivided attention as your heart slowly chipped and broke with each new conquest of his. Especially when each girl was so different from who you were. At first, you thought that maybe you were annoyed by this simply because it was hurtful to think he didn’t at least think you were pretty. It wasn’t long after that that you realized that it hurt you when he went out with women who were your polar opposite because it meant that he would never date you.

This had been shocking in itself. You had known Yoongi for your entire life, or at least a good portion of it, and you had always seen him as a brother. Your oppa in the least sexual or boyfriend-y form possible, but when you looked at him now… he was looking a lot more like well- an oppa.

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish. His words stung more than you would like to admit. Whenever Yoongi got this snippy, you liked to equal him in snip and double him in sass, never showing how vulnerable his disinterest made you feel, but this time, it felt like he had punched you in the chest with all his force and told you you were ugly to boot.

You didn’t want to cry in front of him either. He’d make fun of you. Last time you had cried, he’d awkwardly pat you on the head and quickly changed the very serious topic of your parents' relationship with yours to something totally different and not even a little relevant to helping you feel better. Given, that had been years ago and he’d never been very good at comforting you nor had he so much as expressed his support of you. Not since that one time when you had broken your wrist and he’d promptly pushed the girl who had been the culprit off the swing set thus getting himself suspended for a week and a half when you were both in elementary school.

But this… this was just cruel. It was ugly. It made you look at your “best friend” in a light that was not so shiny and pristine. He’d changed so much since then. He’d pulled away from you since then and you hadn’t even noticed. Or maybe you had and had just ignored it. Maybe you’d hoped if you didn’t mention it, that it would go away and he would come back full force with one of his dumb dances and pretty smiles. Maybe you hoped he’d realize soon what you had realized in your early twenties.

You loved him. And not the brotherly love that you had always had for him, no, you, Y/N, were very much in love with your best friend. Which made this whole situation so much worse.

When you said nothing, Yoongi briefly glanced up at you from his seemingly important phone conversation with most likely another of his soon to be dates only to look back down.

“What? Cat got your tongue? No snippy rebuttal? You’re not gonna chew me out for being mean to you again?”

His face was illuminated by the blue lights of his screen; he had it at the near darkest setting and his eyes were squinted to see it better. Something that had always annoyed you because you knew it was only hurting his vision.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. When that didn’t help, you cleared it, accidentally catching his attention. He clicked his phone off and looked over at you as if ready to argue but something in your face must have given away your inner turmoil because his hard features softened and his lips fell slightly open.

“Are you crying?”

No. Of course you weren’t crying. You never cried. Not ever. But then your cheeks were wet and the onslaught of emotion seemed to burst. How far had you fallen for this indefinitely cold man that his sarcasm made you fall in hysterics? Far it seemed. Too far.

You angrily wiped the tears away from your burning skin and crossed your arms over your chest. The hoodie you had stolen from him earlier that day felt like sandpaper against your skin as opposed to the comfort you’d initially felt when slipping over your head and smelling the fresh scent of his cologne clinging to it.

You felt him shift on the couch to face you fully, out of the corner of your eye, you could see his features had turned worried, alarmed even but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him nor care. Too little too late.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the still air like a wrong note played in a symphony. It made your head spin and ache.

You didn’t dare speak. It would only give away how truly hurt you were by his words and actions. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.

Abruptly, you stood up and yanked the hoodie from your body. The tank you had on pulled up slightly showing the skin of your belly. It was lopsided, you noted when you looked down and saw that one side was pulled over and under your bra and the other was too high on your chest but you didn’t really care.

Yoongi watched you with conflict evident in his eyes, if only you would turn to see. He hadn’t meant to offend you. He’d only been trying to keep you at arms length. You had also been going out with multiple guys, telling him how good looking and tall they all were. Most of these men were also built like rocks and he himself was toned at best. Contrary to what you thought, Yoongi had come to the realization that he’d been in love with you since you were kids. He did not tolerate when anyone made you feel like shit, and, being a very mature kid, he’d told his mother quite early on that he would marry you someday. Of course, she’d only chastised him and told him that he couldn’t possibly know what love was nor could he force you to marry him, but he was adamant.

He’d stopped telling her about it after that though, and instead of telling you how he felt, he’d opted instead to watch over you and make sure nothing happened. So when in high school, you had started to date and it had not been him whom you had chosen, he’d made sure to keep the sorry excuse of a man you had chosen in line. That was… until the incident.

Yoongi would never forgive himself for not being there. For not stopping the bastard who thought he owned you. He’d never forgive the idiot either and if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed him with his bare fists then stuffed his own socks in his mouth.

It was then that Yoongi realized that you deserved better than him, and at the same time, no one was worthy of you. It was a strange dynamic. He’d never once approved of your dates, but had decided to start dating other women because, let's face it, he was a guy and he’d like to have children someday but not even in his wildest dreams could he think that you would ever settle for him. Someone who’d failed you as your self imposed protector.

Not that you knew any of that. You didn’t know that Yoongi often teamed up with your other best friend, your girl best friend to scope out your dates once you’d left. You’d almost caught them once as well and it had been by pure luck and the hair of a very out of place clown that both of them had escaped your wrath that night. You also didn’t notice that after you had fully broken up with that first asshole, he’d threatened to beat him to a pulp if he so much as breathed in your direction once more and later, he’d threatened ‘asshole’ two and three with the same things.

But then your dates had gotten taller and stronger and much harder to intimidate. He’d once made the mistake of threatening a casual date that you’d set up who was at least a solid half foot taller than him and he’d been laughed out of the restaurant only to find out later that the jerk had forced a kiss on you.

No, Yoongi’s days as your protector had dwindled and left him feeling half of the man he’d already thought he was and so his only defense, his only way to keep you safe- though now that he was watching tears well in your eyes he wondered what logic he’d used to justify this behavior- was to be the asshole himself and teach you how to deal with them on a first hand basis.

He hated himself for making you cry. He hated that you looked so dejected and hurt and like you never wanted to speak another word to him again. He hated that your shoulders slumped and that your pretty eyelashes were coated in wet tears and it was all on him.

“You know what,” you finally managed to say with some semblance of calm under the storm that was brewing in the irises he’d so loved, “I think we’ve grown apart a little too much. Maybe we should just- cut our losses and,” you heaved a deep breath, trying to keep yourself calm, “stop seeing each other.”

Were you breaking up with him? How were you even going to break up with him if you weren’t even dating? Yoongi’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He had tunnel vision. All he could see was you and the way that you seemed to pull yourself up from the ground, rebuilding before his eyes.

“Stop see-what? Are you demented?”

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Was that all he was capable of being? Wrong. Incorrect. Inexact. Erroneous. Mistaken. He was plain stupid for the words he’d let slip but there was no taking them back now.

You let your eyes widen as you wiped more of your furiously falling tears from your skin. You turned to face him, your shirt fixed and covering you exactly how it should and your features set and intentional.

“What’s the point? You clearly don’t want to be around me anymore and I’m tired of being berated every time I mention a guy. You’re the most unsupportive friend I have and that’s because I’ve known you the longest. If you don’t want to be my friend just say so instead of slut shaming me and bullying me every chance you get you asshat.”

“Asshat,” he chuckled, crossing his sleeve-covered arms over his toned chest, “real clever, Y/N. Is that all you got, kid? You never were one for words were you? Why don’t you just sock me instead?”

Oh you were considering it. He seemed so unbothered by the prospect of losing you that you realized maybe you had already lost him and hadn’t realized. You had dealt with your fair share of jerks in your life, but you had always counted on Yoongi to be your hope. He’d shown you that there were men in the world that seemed to care about women. Men who could love you even when you felt unlovable, unworthy, but here he was, proving to you once again that all men were the same evil and vile creatures, incapable of love or kindness if they weren’t getting their dicks wet.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Then you could go around saying that I’m a crazy bitch. You know what? Fuck you Min Yoongi. I hope you get well and royally fucked.” You yelled, grabbing the tote bag you’d brought over from your apartment and stomping to the door.

“Fuck you too,” he yelled, following you to the door. He caught you at the landing strip, prying on your chunky sneakers with a bit of difficulty, your house slippers, the ones he’d bought you, lay haphazardly nearby.

“And fuck all of those asshole guys you keep bringing home. Better yet, I hope you don’t fuck them.”

You turned your head up to look at him, confusion and disgust written all over your face.

“What the fuck do my dates had to do with what a fucking jerk you are?”

Choosing to ignore your question, he focused instead on your insult, “A jerk, am I? Well you’re a bitch. How do you like that?”

He didn’t know why he was insulting you. He didn’t think you were actually a bitch, but the anger on your face made him feel better.

It was followed by near instant regret as you drew yourself up to your full height and looked at him with pure venom in your gaze.

“I’m a bitch?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, trying to keep his shoulders square, but you were scary when angry and he’d never fared well in fights with you.

“I’m the bitch?”

“You heard me!”

You balled your fists at your sides, your eyebrows connected in the center and your breathing was heavy. He knew better than to use the B-word.

“You’re a piece of shit.” It was low but your voice carried and hit all of the bones in his body before it hit his heart and burrowed deep in the wounds he’d stitched up but pulled open multiple times over the years that pertain only to you.

“You are a sorry excuse of a man,” you growled, pushing him by the chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you noted that it felt really firm and stronger than before.

“You’re an ass, Min Yoongi,” you continued, giving him another push so that he stumbled slightly back into the living room of his apartment once again.

“You low life,” another push, closer to the couch, “weak minded,” you shoved him, he sidestepped the glass coffee table where your untouched coffee mugs still rested, probably cold by now, “son of a bitch, fucking baby, involved sorry excuse of a man-” He fell onto the cough. Your vision was red.

“You already used that insult.” Was all he said as you stood over him, your chest heaved with the exertion of trying to keep yourself from slapping the now blank expression from his face.

A slew of incomprehensible noises escaped from your lips as words completely left your brain. Damn him. Damn this idiot of a man that you were in love with. He could go to hell for all you cared and you hoped that the devil himself ripped his testicles off and served them on a platter with some kimchi and fried rice.

“Okay first of all- ow,” The asshole said, pulling you back to reality and not your fictitious rework where Yoongi was now sitting at the end of a long table being force fed his own balls, “And second…”

You held your breath. Fear ran down your spine. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud-

“You-you’re in love with me?”

Well… he got his wish, you were royally fucked. Instantly, you tried to back track. Your mind kept replaying in your head what you had said and tried to correct itself but you couldn’t think of anything that could possibly absolve you.

“Like a brother,” you said finally, your voice shaky and thin.

Yoongi only blinked up at you. What you said was bullshit and he knew it. You knew it too.

“You’re in love with me… like a brother?”

“Oppa,” you clarified as if that would somehow make more sense, and it did kind of, but it didn’t absolve you at all. In fact, this only made a smile tug at his lips, his pearly teeth suddenly on display, blinding. You fought the smile that threatened to pull at yours too. It was always hard because his smile was so contagious.

Yoongi stood. He was less than an inch away from your own body. You felt small, meek. You’d misstepped this big game of chess you seemed to be playing. He was going to make fun of you. He’d never let you live it down. You liked him.

“You like me,” as if he had read your mind, he echoed your thoughts, or maybe you had spoken that out loud as well.

“No I don’t,” you argued, taking a step back just so you could have some space to breathe.

“Oh yeah you do,” Yoongi argued, his smile so wide you were sure it would hurt the muscles in his cheeks

“No,” you said again, not really thinking anything you said at this point would convince him otherwise. The son of a bitch was stubborn.

“Admit it,” he said, closing the distance between you again, his neck craned down to look directly at your face.

“I don’t like you!” You tried to take another step back but the coffee table knocked your feet out from under you. You fell onto it knocking Yoongi’s mug of coffee over. The black decaf liquid seeped into your shorts.

Yoongi’s rusty laugh was pried from his throat as he watched your face contort. He was having the time of his life, it seemed. Good for him.

“Stop laughing at me,” you groaned, your cheeks red. You were practically sweating from how feverish you felt.

It was like you hadn’t spoken. Your shorts were wet and made you feel sticky. In a fit of anger, like a child throwing a tantrum, you unbuttoned the denim and ripped them from your legs. This shut Yoongi up instantly. With the soiled fabric, you cleaned up the liquid before it fell onto the light grey carpet.

Yoongi stilled as his eyes traveled up and down your long legs.The way you were twisting, he could see the back of your left thigh up to where it met your ass- your bare ass. You were wearing a thong.

God help him, he was rapidly getting hard. He forced his eyes away from you, his walls being pulled back up at seeing you naked. Well partially so. He pushed his hands into his oversized hoodie and made sure that it covered his front. The last thing he needed was for you to see.

But then you turned and pulled your legs together, your thighs squishing attractively. What he wouldn’t give to be choked by those thighs.

“Let me wash those for you,” he said tightly, pulling a hand from his hoodie to take the soiled shorts, the hem of the fabric pulled up enough for you to see exactly what he’d been trying to hide.

Yoongi had a hard on. You weren’t sure why exactly you were surprised. You were attractive, that much you knew, but you never really expected for your best friend to see you in that way. In fact, you were pretty sure that you’d been in your underwear in front of him before and he hadn’t even given you a second glance, but there was the evidence. And God was there a lot of evidence.

Slowly, you handed him the shorts. His hand grabbed them tightly, avoiding touching any part of your hand with his. Then, after a slight pause, he turned on his heels and walked towards the kitchen to put the shorts into the washer.

You’d called him oppa. You rarely called him oppa and it had hypersensitized him to the word coming from your lips. Other girls called him oppa sometimes and it had no effect on him but there he was, stiff as a board and it had something to do with you calling him oppa and your state of undress. Fuck. He was fucked. So fucked.

At least he wished he could be… But no. He pushed those thoughts from his head as he threw in some nice scented soaps into the wash and clicked it to life. He shut his eyes, trying to think of anything that would drain the blood from his member- halmeoni maybe?- but your voluptuous ass kept intruding, giving his halmeoni some nice curves that messed with her wrinkled face. He shook his head once more and decided he’d just have to hide his boner until it went away, or go beat one out in the restroom really quick.

He grabbed a pair of his clean sweat pants from the drying rack to give to you, just so you would be comfortable, he told himself, not because the thought of your naked butt in them made him unspeakably horny.

But when he got back to the living room, what he found was not you, covering yourself with a pillow like he’d expected, but you, only in your thong- fuck did it have to be a thong?- and your bra. Your shirt was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, burring his head in his hands and turning away from you.

“I mean, if you ask nicely enough that can be arranged,” you answered rather boldly. There was no way for him to know that you were quaking in fear for his rejection.

Yoongi’s dick twitched in his sweats.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said under his breath as his heart beat faster. He felt like he was having a whole heart attack. He patted his chest, hoping to calm it down knowing it was useless.

Should he go for it? You had just admitted accidentally that you did have feelings for him and you were clearly propositioning him. Should he just-

He turned around, back to face you, determination paining his expression. Still on the coffee table, your legs were spread open, only covered by the thin sliver of fabric that your thong allotted. You were a little cold, but all of that melted away when you saw the way that Yoongi’s eyes roamed your exposed body, then stopped abruptly to meet your own.

He was in front of you in seconds, his longer legs carried him farther and faster than you had anticipated. Then he was pulling you to stand. You wobbled on your legs but one of his arms found its way around your waist. His free hand came up and held your jaw with two fingers on either side of your face, squishing your lips together slightly. His hot, heavy member pressed against your stomach through his sweats. He was so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath and the fading smell of his cologne you loved so much. All you wanted was to grind against him but you were held too tightly.

“You never know when to shut up do you?” But he didn’t let you answer. He crashed his soft lips onto yours, his hold on your jaw ached but you didn’t care. There was a passion in his kiss that you hadn’t expected, subtly dwindling to something more like tenderness, and the kiss continued. His lips dragged against yours delicately, pinching your top one with both of his. Small breaths came out of his nose, whistling softly against your cheek. You timed your breaths with his, high on the feeling of finally being kissed, coveted by him. Was it real? Was this actually happening?

Your brain suddenly caught up with your body. The rightness that came with the way he was kissing you, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like he needed you to properly breathe, was like nothing you could have imagined.

The hand on your waist was drawing small circles where the elastic of your thong rested, his index finger casually hooked onto and under pulling lightly. You pressed yourself tighter than he had you against his erection. He groaned, his mouth opening and his tongue suddenly darting out to taste. He pulled your jaw open, granting himself entrance and exploring your mouth.

You moaned, a sound so sensuous and wanton that Yoongi felt that he could cum just from those sounds alone. He wanted more. He wanted you to sing his praises as he fucked into you and caressed your chest. He wanted you to drool around his cock and to have your sweet mouth wrapped tight around it. He wanted to feel you gag at his girth and he wanted to pull at your hair. But most of all, he wanted to kiss you, just like how he was at that moment. He wanted to kiss you until he’d taken your soul from your body and replaced it with his own. He wanted to kiss you until he could erase every trace of all of the men who’d hurt you and made you doubt that you were worthy and wanted. Yoongi wanted to kiss his love into you no matter how long he had to do it. If he was locked in a room with you for months, so be it.

But your hand had found its way between your bodies and was slowly coming down to his hips. Suddenly, he realized what he was doing and panicked. He hadn’t gotten your consent. He hadn’t asked you if it was okay for him to kiss you or to hook his fingers on your thong. As stupid as it sounded, even to Yoongi himself, he needed to make sure that you wanted this to happen, even as your hand had found the outline of his cock and you had started to trace the outline of it over the fabric-

“Tell me to stop,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you. The hand around your waist was now on your shoulder to keep you at enough distance so that his brain could function and wasn’t clouded by the horniness he was feeling.

“Wha…?” You slurred, your eyes were glazed over and your body was completely relaxed.

“Tell me to stop,” he repeated, fighting his every instinct to push your mouth open and have you suck on his thumb before he pushed you onto your knees to suck him off, “and I will.”

His eyelids were heavy and he was sweating slightly. He was so hard that it hurt and the circles you were drawing on his penis were not helping at keeping him at bay. He knew if he looked down, there would be a stain of precum on his sweats.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, leaning in and kissing his jaw before you nibbled and kissed down his taught neck.

“Fuck.”

“I want you to fuck me.” You licked a thick swipe up his jugular, “I want you.”

“Then admit it,” Yoongi heard himself say. He was just as surprised as you were to hear those words from his lips, “admit that you like me.”

You pulled away then, dropping both your arms in exasperation, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in my underwear, stroking your cock and you want me to stroke your ego too? Un-fucking-believeable. You’re a dumb ass.”

You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead.

“Aya, apa~” he groaned, rubbing his head, the dynamic that you were used to suddenly restored.

“Yeah? Great! I’m glad that it hurt! I hope it hurts really bad you jerk. Then maybe you’ll understand what it was like for me to listen to you go on and on about all the girls you went out with every fucking week. In fact-”

“Aya! What the fuck? Stop flicking me,” he nearly screamed, clutching the tip of his nose.

“Make me.”

Big mistake. Yoongi didn’t take your dare lightly. His eyes darkened then he leaned down and picked you up. You squeaked, wrapping your legs around his waist as he walked you to his room. His hands cupped your butt fairly comfortably, like this was something you did often. He kicked the door open and threw you on the bed.

“You think I wasn’t hurt as well?” He asked, clasping a hand around your neck and lightly pressing his fingers against your skin.

“You think I like knowing that everywhere we go, men are watching you, coveting you the way I do? You think it isn’t torture when you go out and I don’t hear from you until the next day?”

He pushed you up against his pillow. The duvet was already all messed up under your body. He was between your legs, pressing himself into your core. Fuck, you wanted him. You wanted him all the way inside you. He wanted nothing more than to do the same but he had to make sure you knew first.

“You think it was easy being in love with you when you wanted nothing from me but friendship?”

Your eyes softened. Yoongi was in love with you too? When?

“Since we were kids,” he answered. Again you had spoken without meaning to. “I always knew it was you, Y/N. It was only ever you.”

But something wasn’t adding up. You fought your rising feelings of elation. You wanted to understand what he was saying. If he had liked you since you were kids then why had he never asked you out? Why become the serial dater he’d become? But he’d never had a girlfriend, you reminded yourself. He’d only ever “dated” and then dropped these women. You always assumed he was screwing them all.

Yoongi became sheepish then. “I uh… I did have sex with some of them but-” and the hurt in your eyes would be enough to kill him,” it was only at the start. I thought that if i had sex with other people I’d stop chasing after you. But it didn’t work… I haven’t slept with anyone since junior year of college.”

Your eyes widened. “College?”

He nodded, his pale cheeks blushing prettily.

“They just...were never you… and then I thought if I pushed you away that would help but that only made us estranged and-”

You pushed yourself up and shut him up with a kiss. He was over thinking and you could talk about all that later.

“You’re an idiot,” you started and he rolled his eyes, “but if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to do it myself.”

Yoongi’s eyes rolled into his head and he thrust lightly into your wet center.

“Talk after?”

“As long as you want,” you agreed, already pushing at his sweats. Yoongi sat up and pulled his hoodie and shirt off in one fell swoop, then, at the speed of lightning, pulled off his sweats, leaving him in his boxers.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his boxers off as well and then he was naked before you. Your mouth went dry. He was big. You could tell just by looking at him that he would stretch you good and you wanted so badly for him to pin you down and have his way with you.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Really? Cause that would be really helpful on days when I’m home alone-”

“Wha-no!”

You chuckled and lay down on your back, making sure that your legs were spread wide for him to have his fill. Like a moth to a flame, he was between your thighs, his tongue licking at the wet fabric.

He moaned against your covered lips, sucking up the arousal that clung to your underwear.

“Fuck, Yoongi yes,” you said without meaning to say much at all. You unclasped your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. You could look for it later. This caught his attention. He thrust his naked dick into the mattress, needing some sort of stimulation.

“Damn it… fuck, if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside you, I swear I could get you off with just my mouth all day, Y/N.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved off, gesturing for him to come up to your face, he did so without question, “Hurry up, I’m dying. Please.”

“Are you begging?” Yoongi’s lips curled lightly, teasingly,

“Do you want to get your dick wet or not?” He kissed the wrinkle between your eyebrows lightly.

“Yeah, can I take these off?” he hooked a finger on the elastic of your thong, pulling it a little higher than he probably should have. It was an old pair. You heard rather than saw the stitching on it pull apart and then the thing was hanging limply from Yoongi’s fingers, his expression shocked.

“Yoongi!”

“What? I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“For fuck’s sake! That was my favorite thong!”

“Well, clearly it was cheap,” he countered, throwing it across the room somewhere too.

You groaned, shifting slightly under him. His dick nuzzled between your wet lips. His mouth dropped open and a pleasured grunt escaped his lips.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he rut against your wetness, hitting your clit lightly, far too lightly, “you are so wet. God, this should be illegal.”

“Y-Yoongi… more,” he reached down between you two and found your sensitive nub without much hassle. It was like he knew your body already. Your body twitched under him and he circled the bundle of nerves for a couple of seconds. The noises falling from your lips were heaven on earth and Yoongi realized you were his new favorite song.

He gave your clit one rough stroke, ripping a small gasp from your throat. He gathered some of your slick with two practiced fingers and brought it up to eye level. It caught the low light of his room from the window, the smell enough to threaten to send him over the edge.

“Jesus Christ that’s hot.” Then he smeared it all over his penis and gave himself two rough pumps.

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I’m asking-”

“Don’t care. Just do it. Yes.” You said angrily, pulling him closer and closer, his toned chest flush against yours.

“Have you been working out?” You asked, breaking the intense way he was staring into your eyes, his smile pulled wide over his gums.

He shrugged but clearly was glad that you’d noticed, “Namjoon and Jungkook convinced me to join them in the gym. It’s no big deal.”

“But your arms,” you complimented, squeezing his bicep. He flexed it lightly for you. You blushed when you realized exactly what you were doing.

“It’s just a little muscle,” he commented offhandedly.

The conversation lulled, he smiled down at you, and you up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose.

“So can I put it i-”

“I already said yes.”

“In your ass?”

“Ew no!”

Yoongi laughed loudly, “see this is why you can’t say yes to something without knowing what you’re agreeing to.”

“Shut up and put it in the right hole,” you groaned, then for good measure, “oppa.” It was a joke. You thought it was a joke, but something lit up in his pupils as two measly syllables rolled off your tongue and hit his eardrums. You felt his skin prickle under your touch and his member twitched against your folds.

Like a deer caught in headlights, you looked up at the handsome man. His eyes had narrowed as well as darkened. He looked absolutely ravenous and you wanted him to eat you up.

“Say that again.” He commanded as he pushed the head of his massive, and now that you could properly feel it, you knew that you had been right, cock at the entrance of your lower lips.

“O-oppa?” you questioned, astounded that the simple word that he’d no doubt heard his whole life had this effect on him.

“That’s right yeo-chin,” he growled, his voice gruff and harsh as he pushed lightly into you. His dick opened you painfully, perfectly.

“Yeo-chin?” You ask through the explosion of pleasure between your thighs.

“Is that okay?” He asked, suddenly looking really vulnerable and scared. You reached up, stroking his cheek lightly with your knuckles.

“Oh honey,” you trailed off, bumping his nose against yours before you pulled back abruptly, “If you want me to be your girlfriend, you have to ask me properly.”

Yoongi sighed, his smile telling you he expected as much and wasn’t hurt, “Talk after?” He asked again.

“As much as you want,” you reiterated.

And then he was pushing into you once again, surprising you because you could have sworn you had been full before but inch after inch, he pushed into your awaiting hole, filling all the emptiness you’d felt your whole life until his balls tapped your ass softly.

His face was contorted in pure ecstasy. At least from your perspective. Yoongi, in all truth, was trying his hardest not to blow his load into you already. He couldn’t believe his luck. He was inside you. He’d waited his whole life for this and he was finally inside you.

You wiped a bead of sweat from his temple and playfully licked his lips. He grunted against you, holding himself up by the forearms. Suddenly, he was really grateful that he had started to work out and that Jungkook had him doing three minute planks for fun. He’d have to thank him later, even if he did complain a whole lot.

“Can-can I move?” Yoongi gasped. Your walls fluttered around his member as if welcoming it home with soft caresses. You were so warm, maybe hot, he wasn’t sure, but you were tight and wet and all the good things in the world.

You only breathed, feeling so unbelievably full. It felt like he had pushed in all the way to your throat. You were no size queen, really, you weren’t, but if this is what they were going on about, you understood.

“Y/N,” he panted, his body begging him to move, “please.”

“Are-are you begging?” You giggled mirroring what he’d asked you before.

“Yes.” Without hesitation, he admitted, “Please… please…”

Well fuck. How could you say no? You nodded fervently, all mirth erased from your expression as he pulled out slowly, your juices squelched as your lower muscles tried to keep him in.

“Gah- ash-Y/N… you’re so tight.”

You only moaned in response, the head of his cock was still in you, stretching you to the point you didn’t think anyone could fully make you feel this way again.

“You’re so big,” you complimented scratching at his back. His muscles rippled under your touch.

He pushed back in, still torturously slow. It felt like you were being split in half. You felt like Olaf in the first frozen movie after he got stabbed by an icicle.

“Yoongi,” you gasped as he pulled out again at the same speed, his face screwed up in concentration.

“Oppa,” he growled into your ear, kissing roughly at your skin.

“Oppa,” you agreed, though it wasn’t your favorite word, he seemed to be getting of fairly

well so you let it slide, “move faster.”

“You sure?” He asked.

You nodded, knowing it was probably going to hurt but you wanted to feel him and you wanted him to cum.

“Yes.”

He didn’t need to be told again; he drew back, once again leaving only the mushroom tip inside you once again, and then he thrust. Hard. You nearly choked as he pumped himself over and over again hitting the nerves in your vagina. The slap of skin against yours was loud in the empty room, only accompanied by your moans and his pants and grunts. Your names mixed in every once in a while, your lips kissing any and all the skin that you could possibly reach. He licked at your lips and sucked bruises onto your neck, your chest. He wanted to mark all of you. He wanted to make sure you knew who you belonged to… as soon as he asked you right after he finished up.

This idea itself spurred him on, to thrust faster, deeper. He wanted to finish and make sure that you finished too, not quickly but soon. He wanted to talk. He wanted to make sure that you were in the same place.

So he reached between you both again, his fingers blindly found your clitoris and began to rub abstract shapes into it. Your back arched off the bed, your hair and boobs bounced with each thrust, his balls slapping against your ass. You were seeing white, your mouth wide open in a silent ‘o’. You were so close. So so close.

“Come, Yeo-chin,” he whispered against your temple, and though you weren’t technically his, the title sent you over the edge along with his fingers and the deep thrusts that hit your cervix.

“Oppa,” you groaned, your face screwed up.

That did it for Yoongi. His fingers on your clit stuttered along with his hips. His thrusts became erratic and he hit the sides of your walls. You squeezed around him as he over stimulated you through your orgasm.

“One more time… say it one more time,” he begged.

You complied, whispering it into his ear, it was cut slightly by a particularly pleasurable thrust. Yoongi felt pure euphoria fill his blood as his hips paused, then buried deep into your hole. Ropes of hot cum shot into you, filling you.

Yoongi panted heavily over you, his head resting on your shoulder as he struggled to keep himself up. You were breathing heavily as well, your nipples brushed against his chest. You were sensitive. You hissed.

“You can lay down,” the words had barely left your lips before he had let his weight settle on top of you. A smile crossed your face as his hands tangled in your hair and stroked it lightly. You wrapped him up in a hug, wanting him to stay like this for a while. It was nice to feel him so close.

After a couple of minutes of both of you just recovering and your breathing getting much harder, like a wrestler, you tapped Yoongi twice.

“I’m out,” you joked, “can’t breathe.”

With what looked like a lot of effort, he pushed himself up and off you, pulling out of your suddenly. The cum inside of your vagina gushed out.

You made a face as you felt it drip onto his sheets. Yoongi watched it ooze out of you, not really caring where it was going. He looked mesmerized. He reached out as if to swipe at the cum on your lower lips but you grabbed his wrist before he could.

“We talk now,” you sighed, a bit calmer than before but still a bit worried.

“Now?” He looked so vulnerable again, like he was a scared child. He lay on his side, resting his head on his elbow. He looked down at you, waiting for you to take the reins, the way you always did but this time, you didn’t know where to begin.

Yoongi cleared his throat looking around uncomfortably. When you said nothing, his mind had started to race.

“So… do you… want to be my girlfriend, or are we friends with benefits level right now? Ow!”

You’d smacked his shoulder, not hard at all but he was dramatic and you knew that. He frowned at you, his lips tempting you into another kiss that could lead to something more once again. You were already feeling a little turned on again just looking at the results of his recent gym trips.

“So no to yeo-chin then?”

“Yoongi!”

“Don’t you mean Oppa?”

You smiled up at him, a teasing glint in your gaze, “I didn’t know you had an oppa kink. This whole time, I was right to refuse to call you oppa. I knew you looked way too happy whenever I called you that!”

Yoongi scrunched his nose and looked away, “I don’t! It’s just… when you say it.” He admitted waving a hand as if to bat away your inquisitive and teasing stare.

Not really knowing how to answer that, you chose instead to answer his previous question.

“Nam-chin,” you ran a finger down the center of his pecks, tracing all the light visible muscles that made you want to get off on just riding his chest. Yoongi tensed under your touch. He seemed frozen.

“Did you just call me nam-chin?” You, for once, were not embarrassed. You smiled brightly, happy that the title finally had a head to sit on.

“Is that okay?”

Yoongi pulled you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, his heart beat erratically in his chest, singing to yours. To its credit, your heart synced and harmonized almost instantly. He smelled like pure sex and fresh water. He buried your face into his bare skin, listening to his song. After all these years, after all the tiptoeing and fear, you were finally where you belonged.

“Of course it is,” he paused, kissing the top of your head a couple of times, “yeo-chin.” This time, the word made a shiver roll down your spine. Arousal began to pool between your sticky thighs once more and if the third leg on your stomach was anything to go by, he was as well.

“Can- can we take a shower?” you asked him, biting your lips and pushing your chest against his suggestively.

He smirked, his mouth watered at the thought of taking you in the shower. He could almost hear your moans echoing in his wet room as he sat you down and ate you out until the water ran cold. Easy clean up even.

“Yes.” he breathed, connecting his lips to yours. You kissed for a while, your lips meshing together lovingly. Yoongi was a good kisser, you realized. He was a good lay as well. And he was cute to boot. Suddenly, he pulled away and picked you up bridal style and walked you to his restroom. He once again kicked the door open to avoid using his hands and walked you through, but this time instead of throwing you down, he set you on the toilet, him on his knees between your pushed open legs.

“I hope you don’t have any plans,” he said, kissing up your thighs and pulling you close to the edge, “because I have all the time in the world and I’m really, really thirsty.”

He ran two fingers over your abused center, collecting his cum and your new arousal. Sure, there were still a lot of things to talk about between you two. Yoongi still wasn’t sure if you fully understood the depth of his feelings nor was he sure if you simply liked him and the slip of the L-word was nothing more than that. A slip. But like he’d said, he had all the time in the world to ask and all the time to make sure he earned you and your trust. He would do anything he could to prove it and some day he would be.

But for now, he was royally fucked by the sinful sounds that escaped your pretty lips and he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist -in case you want to read more....

I hope yall enjoyed it and that this is a good come back after our roast session from permission to dance:)

[xoxo-teddybear]

Troubled - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, Kinda Angst(?), Storyline

Summary: Even though the two have been dating for about 2 years, Bakugou never knew about Y/N’s troubling life. With Y/N being lost and needing to find herself again, here’s how he finds out.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Bakugou and you were so happy. The relationship was incredible. He loved you and you loved him. You were both so loyal to one another, so protective, so honest...sorta. That’s where you faltered a bit. You see, you had a secret.

In the 2 years that you have been together, it was obvious that you’ve already met Bakugou’s parents. However, he never met yours. You told him “they’re really strict. I doubt they want me to be dating so I don’t think it’s best for you to meet them just yet. Don’t worry, they’re awesome! Just overprotective.”

And like the good, loving, trusting boyfriend he is, he believed you! He so badly wanted to change your parents’ minds but he’ll meet them whenever you’re comfortable. He can wait. But it sucks that he could never go over even when there were times where it would just be you and him. Apparently your parents “didn’t allow anyone over while they were away.” Whatever, fair. He still loved you regardless. And besides, you always went over to his house anyway! So everything was fine.

You fed him these lies and kept the truth away from him. In reality, you did have parents. Divorced parents. A loving mother who is sadly always working from early mornings to late nights and a runaway father who eventually got a new family with new kids.

Your father left you. He left you and your mother when you were just 5 years old and you never told anyone. This caused you to be so..angry..and confused..and hurt. Your busy mother was never around to help you cope and so you resorted into actions. You took on this rebellious bad girl persona. Yes you were in the hero course, but you put up a front that displayed you as the rotten apple among the group. You were still lovable and very friendly (a little teasing but still) and people loved you. What they didn’t love was when you went over the top with your bad girl image and even Katsuki got a little peeved at it from time to time.

—

“Your homework assignment: Create a visual or report on the history of Japan’s hero industry. Japan has had a lot of unfair rules when it came to heroes and so it’s your turn to speak on them, who rebelled against them, and tell us something you rebel against. I expect it to be done next week. Don’t forget it...understand L/N?” Aizawa said as he stared you down.

You sat with your legs crossed with your chin in your hand as you blew a strand of hair out of your face. “Yeah, we’ll see how well that goes.” You sarcastically said with a nose scrunch and devious smile.

The bell rang and students began to leave the classroom. You caught up with your boyfriend, Katsuki, who waited for you at the door. You pecked his cheek before you both began walking to the dorms.

“Hey, dumbass,” He called for you.

“Yeah Suki?”

“You are gonna do the assignment right?” He questioned. You chuckled a bit as you looked at him.

“Suki, c’mon. We both know that’ll never happen.” You said with a laugh but Bakugou just looked at you with a concerned face.

“And why not? You know you can do it and you choose not to. For what? You act like they won’t kick you out of UA.” He reminded you.

“Because they won’t. It’s just homework and I make up for it by excelling at everything else,” you said proudly but he wouldn’t budge.

“Okay but first it was skipping class, then it was skipping school, now it’s dropping class and home work. When are you gonna get off this bad streak?” He asked. You felt a little hurt due to the misunderstanding. He truly didn’t understand but that wasn’t his fault. You didn’t say anything so you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Never!” You laughed, “I’ll be fine Katsuki. Besides, you like my bad side. It makes us balanced. You’re the rowdy and rude hidden Angel and I’m the sweet and pretty devil.”

“Heh, so I’m not pretty?” He jokingly asked. You faced him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You’re the prettiest,” you joked with him. You both giggled a bit before sharing a sweet kiss for a moment. You both separated and you began to walk hand in hand as you led the way.

“But seriously babe, be cautious. Okay? S’all im asking for. And at least try to do your homework. There’s no reason for you to be acting up like this.” He said but his words stung a bit. He..really...didn’t understand....at all. Your eyes went wide but you minimized them before turning to face him. You grew slightly silent as you stopped walking for a bit and he looked at you with a concerned yet serious face.

“....Um...yeah. Sure. And you’re right Suki. There’s uh.....no reason for this.”

—

After Katsuki walked you home, he kissed you goodbye for now before you walked into your very empty home. You sighed at the quiet and walked to the kitchen to find another note and your dinner placed in tupperware.

‘Hi baby. I’m sorry I’m not home again. I’ll be back later tonight. I have your dinner all set, just heat it up before dining.

Love you, -Mom’

Great. Another empty house for the umpteenth time in a row. You appreciated everything your mom did for the two of you. I mean, she is working 3 jobs to pay for the house and your school. Not to mention, put food on the table. But sometimes you couldn’t help but hate her for being gone so much. You missed her.

You took a shower and changed into some sleeping clothes. You brought your school bag with you to the kitchen and placed it on the seat before heating up your dinner. While waiting, you pulled out your homework.

Listen, it’s not that you didn’t want to do the homework. It’s more so that you couldn’t. You weren’t the smartest student and a lot of the time, you’d need help with the work. In class, it was easier because you had Katsuki but recently he’s been a little busier so you didn’t wanna be a bother. You didn’t wanna ask anyone else and so you resulted into helping yourself in some way. People always told you to confine in the help of your parents but one of them was gone and the other was always busy. There’s no one that could help.

You read the itinerary and came to the conclusion that it was just too hard for you to understand on your own. It would have to be another failed assignment but whatever. It was just one of many. You ate dinner, put away your work and bags and opted to sleep. Just drift away into dreamland where things were better. Where your dad was still a part of your family. Where your mom didn’t struggle in bringing home cash. Where you were a better student and person who did her work.

—

A Week Later

“So did your little brat ass even write down a sentence?” Your boyfriend teasingly asked.

“What do you think Suki?” You said with a smirk as you faced him from your desk. His eyes went wide as he stilled in his seat next to you.

“...Did you even try?” He asked, worried for your academic career and you. He tried encouraging you all week and you didn’t do anything?

“Relax babe. I opted for a visual,” you said with closed eyes and a smile. He smiled too, proud of you for getting it done.

“You actually did it? Nice work princess,” he said and leaned over to peck your cheek but you only giggled as you clarified.

“Well, more or less.” You said as you stated ahead with a smirk.

“More or less? The hell does that mean Y/-“ he was cut off by the sound of the door opening and their teacher walking in. Aizawa had walked up to the podium and began role-call. Eventually, he made it to the topic of homework and his attention was immediately focused towards you.

“L/N!” Aizawa called out in a non-aggressive or angry way. More like his form of enthusiasm.

“Yes sir?” You replied back with actual enthusiasm.

“Time to present your homework.”

“Can’t do that sir.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t do my homework sir.”

“Why not?”

“That’s what I’m rebelling against sir.”

You smiled with a very devious demeanor and Aizawa sighed again before he continued. “Did you at least do anything for the assignment?”

“Sort of. But I’m gonna need a certain someone else to go first. Iida, I’m talking about you,” you said turning to face the very robotic and precise young man.

“I’d be glad to present first!” He said and quickly left to the hallway to bring in his visual. Now, the reason why you called on Iida first was because you knew he’d be the only one to actually do a visual and he went above and beyond. Aka, he used sparklers to give it a “wow factor” for creativity points. You would know. You had watched him do his work to see what you can rip off of him but oh well. A new plan already came into mind and so here we are!

Iida walked in with his visual to stand at the front of the doorway and yes, the sparklers were lit! You smiled at the sight and only allowed him to get a sentence out before you interrupted.

“Perfect! Thank you Iida!” You said as you got up. “But now I’m gonna need to show my assignment. You just stay right there.”

“Y/N..” Bakugou quietly called out as he watched you walk around to every student.

“Now, I’m gonna need a piece of everyone’s assignment. So I’ll take this,” you said and took Denki’s paper off his desk and went for everyone else’s as well. You lastly took Bakugou’s before walking over to Iida and taking a sparkler.

“So! For my assignment based on a rebellion, I chose to ignore the whole history part and decided to show you what’s gonna be happening in the now. This is my rebellion. Homework! Why all the homework, Aizawa?” You asked as you walked back to your desk. You kept talking as you kept walking. “We wake up at early hours, go to school, then go to hero school/training and head home with more work to do aka homework. As students, we never get to take control of what we want to do because we’re so preoccupied with school, school, school.”

“L/N...” Aizawa warned as he watched you stand on your desk.

“My rebellion? No homework, more freedom.” You said and began to bring the spark close to all the paper assignments but Aizawa snatched them out of your hand before you and the chance to start a fire.

“Al-Alright! That’s enough L/N!” He warned but you stood firm as you raised the sparkler to the roof.

“No homework, more freedom! No homework, more-“ You were cut off by the sprinklers being activated due to the spark being so close. Students ran out the room to avoid the water but Bakugou stayed with you along with Aizawa as the three of you became soaked.

10 minutes later

You and Katsuki waited outside the room together waiting for Aizawa to return to most likely scold and reprimand you. You were both drenched in water as you looked towards the ground and Katsuki grinded his teeth together. While waiting, it was clear your own boyfriend had been pissed with your actions and surprisingly, he decided to scold you as well.

“What the hell was that all about Y/N!?” Bakugou shouted as he stepped infront of you staring you down. You looked up at your boyfriend in shock. You’ve known each other ever since Junior High and not once has he ever been truly angry with you and your rebellious side. So this shouting was a shock to you.

“What? I did the assignment. I showed what I rebelled against-“

“Y/N quite acting like a dumbass! You know what I mean!” He shouted again. “You’re smart! I know you are! You have intelligence and yet you refuse to do anything useful with it! You get yourself into so much damn trouble and I’ve been trying my fucking best to lead you away from that shit but nothing seems to work! I want you to be yourself and I love you with my everything but this bad girl image isn’t you! Do you even realize how fucking disrespectful and wild you get sometimes?! It’s getting out of hand!”

You bit your lip as you looked to the floor once more. A silence over came the two of you.

“I’m sorry..” you softly said while looking up at him before the silence had a chance to grow alarmingly loud.

“I am too! Because you go too fucking far!” He said with stern eyes and a booming voice. You felt tears reach your eyes and you tried to blink them away as you looked at him and spoke again.

“....I have no one at home who helps me with my homework...” you said brokenly. Bakugou looked at you with a confused and kind of worried face as another silence grew. You said nothing and did nothing as you walked away from him, not even bothering to wait for Aizawa anymore and just went home.

—

Bakugou constantly tried to reach out to you. He called you always, spammed you with texts, left voicemail after voice and nothing. After that day, you stopped going to school. Bakugou occasionally tried going to your house to knock on the door, but it wasn’t too often due to him still believing your “strict parents” story. And either way, you never opened the door.

On the inside of your home, you were in your room. You ignored all of Bakugou’s attempts to contact you. You couldn’t be around him right now. You couldn’t be around anyone right now. You didn’t even wanna be around anyone at home but I guess that was the usual already. Your mom was too focused on working to notice her sad child but luckily she was also too busy to notice the constant phone calls from the school trying to inform her of her child’s absences. She always had a meal prepped for you when you “returned home from school,” and so that would be your meal. Including anything else you guys had laying around in the kitchen.

Days past by and most of the time, you were in your room staring down at the homework itinerary. You constantly thought about Bakugou’s words.

“You’re smart! ...... This bad girl image isn’t you!”

Was he right? You had no idea. Your dad left when you were five and it blindsided you. You’ve been lost and in the dark for 11 years. Was this bad girl who you were? Were you smart? Did you even know who you really were? You would constantly stare at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out and recognize who the girl in front of you was but you never figured it out. You thought you did but maybe you were wrong.

You spent a lot of time on your phone, specifically through the photo album on it that was filled with pictures of you and Katsuki. It made you smile looking at all the memories. You smiled at the fact that you were blessed with him. He brings out a better you...the best you....the real you. All the times you were with him were all genuine. It was the real you. And you had finally realized that. But you couldn’t be sure.

The bad girl you was still a part of who you were for over a decade of your life. Maybe that was who you were now. And there was only one way you could find out.

—

It’s been a week and you still weren’t in school. The day ended and Bakugou still waited and waited for you. He never stopped trying to reach out to you. He never stopped because he loved you but now, he also had questions.

‘What did you mean when you said you had nobody at home to help you?’ He thought to himself. The end of the day bell rang and Bakugou, too lost in his mind, didn’t realize all the students leaving. He didn’t even realize Mr. Aizawa walking up to him.

“Bakugou..” he began.

“Tch...the hell do you want?” He said while still staring down at his desk. Aizawa stared down at the sad blonde, slightly in shocked. He had never seen his loud, angry, prideful student this way.

“How’s L/N doing?” He asked.

“Like I would know. She hasn’t spoken to me in days.” Bakugou easily confessed. He honestly didn’t care how he looked. He’s been bottling up everything and needed to talk to someone. He was a little glad it was just his teacher and not one of his peers who he thought would just tease him for the weakness he was displaying.

“Well try to keep an eye on her.” he said and Bakugou looked up at him in confusion. “L/N may put up a tough front, but she’s human. She can only take so much before she explodes like a volcano. Knowing her, it can go 2 ways. She either breaks down in tears and gets everything off her chest or most likely, she’ll follow her rebellious behavior and utterly screw up. Who knows what trouble she could get herself into.”

Bakugou’s eyes shot open at the thought of you committing such terrible things. Aizawa walked back to his yellow sleeping bag once he realized Bakugou got the message.

“However, I will say this,” he said and got into his bag. “She’s very lucky to have you as her light in the dark. Make sure you continue to be her light until she’s completely away from the shadows.”

Bakugou nodded his head in silence as he stood up and went home. Tomorrow, he was going to get to the bottom of this. He won’t let his little volcano blow.

—

The blonde had gotten ready and planned to head over to your house to talk to you. Not try to. He will speak to you and he will help you. As he walked into the gates of UA he was shocked to see a pretty face waiting for him at the entrance.

“Hey Suki!” You said with a smile as you walked to him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Y/N...” Bakugou gasped out quietly. Once he felt your embrace around his neck he was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and melted into the scent of you. He held you so close you were kind of losing oxygen.

“Umm..Suki. Can’t breath!” You said jokingly. Bakugou was quick to let go but still keep a loose hold on you.

“Sorry! Sorry- I just- I-“

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m glad you missed me,” you said with a wink and Bakugou smiled. He truly did miss you. “But right now, we should get to class.”

Bakugou was shocked you were choosing to go to class but he nodded with a soft smile and followed your lead nonetheless. You walked into the classroom and took your seat after making eye contact with Aizawa. When you were seated, Aizawa looked at Bakugou and gave a signal of an explosion with his hands and mouth. Bakugou got the idea.

At any time, this might be the buildup to Y/N’s explosion.

Bakugou took his seat and was quick to talk to you. “Baby? You’re not gonna....burst or something right? Everything is fine? Yeah?”

“Uhh, kinda? I mean, I’m pretty secure. I just wanna find myself after all the years of being so lost. .....I’m sure that soon I’ll get those answers.” You calmly said.

“What do you mean?” Bakugou said. He knew it. You were gonna explode. And he also realized he needed answers too. What the hell was going on with you and why didn’t he know?

“Don’t worry love!” You cheerfully said as Aizawa began class. Time went by and class continued. Bakugou was constantly looking your way to check for any signs of agitation. Suddenly, the fire alarm rang and students jumped at the loud sound. Some began walking out as Bakugou sighed in relief.

“Oh thank god! You exploded,” he sighed with his head back and hand on his chest.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“You. You exploded. This is you getting all the frustrations off your chest,” he stood up and addressed everyone. “It’s fine idiots. This is just Y/N being a little delinquent,”

“Your blood pumping?” You calmly asked.

“Yup,” Bakugou said with a satisfied smile.

“Good, I didn’t do it,” you calmly said to Bakugou but he continued.

“Yes you did! Im assuming she started a fire but it’s fine. S’not a villain or something so don’t sweat it.” He said aloud. “Go ahead and get out of here Morons, I’ll make sure she’s in check.”

“I-...I didn’t do it,” you still calmly said but this time to reassure the class as Bakugou grabbed your wrist.

“Yes you did, and it’s fine! Because this is how you get all the bad out so now you can’t do anymore bad for 3,000 years.” He said happily but you still looked at him with a bored stare when out of nowhere, the alarm stopped and Principle Nezu came onto the loud speaker.

“Sorry students. False alarm. No need to worry, please proceed with your studies.” The students sighed in relief and Bakugou’s smile dropped as he finally realized this wasn’t you going boom.

“You didn’t do this? You aren’t a volcano?” He asked.

“No explody,” you said in a sing-song voice as you shook your head.

“You need a nap?” He asked. Maybe instead of exploding, you could just sleep off the issues.

“Wide awakey,” you replied.

“..You’re gonna burst and destroy the whole village, aren’t ya?” He sadly and metaphorically asked. You nodded your head as you replied.

“......And the neighboring towns.”

Bakugou just groaned and dropped your wrist as he sat back down with an annoyed face. You giggled as you took your seat too.

—

The bell that signaled the end of the day rang and you were quick on your feet as you skidded to Bakugou and pecked his cheek. He looked up at you with a soft smile, poked his lips out a little, and pointed at his lips for an actual kiss (which you gladly gave.)

“What’s the rush dumbass?” He asked.

“I’ve got somewhere to be. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine!” You reassured him.

“..Alright I guess? You still coming over later for dinner with the old hags or...?”

“I’ll be there Suki!” You said and his nerves settled a bit. He kissed you on your cheek and nodded before he allowed you to leave the room and head off to wherever. As he watched you go, he couldn’t stop the uncomfortable stress he felt in his chest.

—

A few hours had passed since Bakugou’s last seen you. After school he went straight to the gym before dinner. While working out, his mind couldn’t help but wonder what you were up to. What was so important that it had you rushing around like that?

While Katsuki sat at the gym questioning your whereabouts, you were walking to the park with a book bag. You walked into the closed park. It was beautiful. The calming winds, the soft grass, the shining moon, and the beautiful gardens that held happy statues. Too bad you were here to find out who you were.

You placed the bag down on a bench and pulled out your tools. A brick, a hammer, spray cans, and matches. You looked at the instruments you brought and sighed at your actions. Were you really going to demolish a beautiful place just to discover yourself? Was this bad girl image really worth it? You hesitated before you went in to pick up the hammer but before you could, a familiar voice spoke up.

“Well look what we have here. Miss Y/N L/N, the rebel herself.” You turned around to see a few old friends. Haruki Gen, the professional gambler and money hussler and Izumi Tobio, the ruthless fighter. These two were your old friends. People you used to get into a whole lotta trouble with. You three were a delinquent trio that were all about no rules and no restraints. You completely forgot this was the usual hang where you three would just relax after a hard day of mean pranks, harmless stealing, and bullying.

“Haruki. Izumi. S’been awhile,” you said with a nonchalant smile.

“Of course it has. You left us after you got with that blondie boy-wonder.” Haruki teased. You chuckled but were offended as they picked at your boyfriend.

“His name is Katsuki.” You said with your hands in your back pockets.

“Whatever,” Izumi interrupted. “It’s a little dark out here. It gets scary when it gets dark around here.”

“Oh, I appreciate the warning.” You softly said with rudeness laced into the message.

“So where’s boy wonder?” Haruki asked.

“Katsuki.”

“Boy wonder. We see you got a brick and hammer here. Boy wonder isn’t gonna stop you?”

“Once again, Katsuki.” You warned.

“Yeah yeah. You gonna tell us what you’re doing here with those things. Whatcha’ gonna do? Build a house?” She teased.

“She’s Y/N L/N. She’s gonna burn the place down,” Izumi said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Nah,” Haruki Said. “She’s changed. She’s gone soft. Just like boy wonder.”

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to start calling him Katsuki.” You warned.

“You’re soft like Katsuki. Better?” Izumi said softly into the side of your face.

“I’m not soft.” You said but Izumi disagreed.

“Yeaaahhhh you are. You’ve gone soft. But that’s okay. ‘Cuz we can fix that. And you know how we fix things? With a hammer.” She said and looked to Haruki. You both watched as Haruki went to pick up the hammer you brought and walk back to her spot next to you. “We could do a loootttt of damage with this equipment. Is that what you came here for? To see what you’re still capable of?”

“....Yeah....yeah I came to see what I’m still capable of.” You replied with a quiet but dark voice.

“Really?” Izumi said. “Because I’d love to have you back here doing damage with us.”

“Mhm!” Haruki agreed. “Now...watch and remember that this is what we do with a hammer.” She said before she bashed the head clean off the neck of a statue that oddly resembled your own boyfriend. You slightly flinched at the sound and sight of destruction while Izumi walked to Haruki.

“Okay slugger, let’s give someone else a chance,” she said and took the hammer from Haruki before placing it in your hands. “Show us what you got....softie.”

You took the hammer and once again hesitated before you raised the tool in the air to smash the statue. You freezed midway before you could finish the job. The statue really did remind you of Katsuki and you didn’t know if you had it in you to destroy anything reminding you of him. You paused for awhile and Izumi sighed as she took the hammer out of your hand.

“You’re soft L/N. I know it. You know it.”

“You’re not one of us anymore.” Haruki said.

“Exactly. You’re too soft to be one of us.” Izumi pushed you a bit, causing you to stumble forward slightly. “You chose the wrong group of friends. Chose the wrong person to associate with....you chose him. And he made you weak. So why don’t you just admit he made you weak and go home-“

“No. Because I’m not week.” You said as you faced them.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Haruki said as she walked towards you and you to her. “Take this hammer from me and prove it. Or else I’m gonna bust up Mr. Perfect right in front of you. ‘Cuz I don’t see anyone here who can stop me.” She said as she motioned towards the statue. She went in to bash it once more and you were quick to grab her arm and snatch the hammer out of her hand.

“Yeah there is,” you said and walked to the bench and picked up the hard piece of rock. “‘Cuz I’ve got the brick, and I’ve got the hammer.”

The two girls smirked at you and Izumi spoke up once more. “Good for you L/N. You know what you’re gonna do with those?”

You sighed through your nose before taking your arm and wrapping it around Izumi very casually, but brought her below your level and whispered in her ear but remained loud enough for Haruki to hear. “I know exactly what I’m gonna do with those.....I know exactly who I am.”

You pushed Izumi off of you and watched her backup to Haruki. They both looked at you in shock and slight fear as you held the weapons that you were capable of harming them with. You stared them down as they watched you with caution.

—

Hinata L/N. Your mother. She returned home at a surprisingly early hour of the night after finishing her final shift. She was exhausted and completely overworked, but knowing she made some money to support her and her daughter made her smile. She was glad she got to come home and spend some time with her daughter but when she called out your name, only silence filled the air.

She walked to the kitchen but stopped in shock to find the dinner she left for you completely untouched. It remained on the island with the Saran Wrap still covering it. Worried, she went up to her daughters room only to open it and see no one. Hinata’s eyes went wide in shock. Where was her baby girl? She ran to the closet in hopes of you being there, went to the bathroom to find it empty, and even went to the backyard to no avail. The entire time she screamed your name with tears filling her eyes. In a panic, she called a close friend of hers, telling her that she was on her way for a quick visit. It may have been years since they’ve spoken, but the bond was still there and help and comfort was all she needed right now.

—

Bakugou had finished his time at the gym, took a quick shower there, and made it home. When he walked through the front door, he didn’t expect to find his worried parents consulting a sad woman.

“The hell happened?” The young blonde questioned. The adults in the room took notice of the boy as he walked into the living room and Mitsuki was the first to speak up.

“Katsuki, this is my old friend Hinata. She’s come here for help.” Mitsuki quickly explained. Usually, she’d check her son for his abrasive language but let it slide as she wanted to out her full attention of her dear friend.

“That still doesn’t explain what happened, ya old hag.” Bakugou said placing his bag down and taking a seat. He was a hero trainee and it was in him to help those in need. Granted, he was kinda peeved at not seeing his girlfriend for a few hours and helping out some random, sappy, sad stranger wasn’t really intriguing but a hero’s gotta do what a hero’s gotta do.

“My daughter, Y/N, had gone missing.” Hinata explained. She was worried, yes, but she had always allowed Y/N to wander the city so in the back of her mind she hoped her daughter was just extending the time of her little stroll or whatever she was doing.

“Y/N?” Bakugou whispered to himself.

“Katsuki, you idiot! Your girlfriend!” Mitsuki shouted at the boy. Bakugou’s eyes popped open as he stood from his seat in a rush. He felt his heart about to blow in fear of something bad happening to his Y/N.

“WHAT?! Where the hell did she go?!” Bakugou screamed in fear with a worried look. Before any adults could answer a cop walked through the open door.

“I can answer that.” Officer Haru said. The four of them all looked towards the door to see the officer at the door way. They watched as the officer faced the door and tilted his head inwards. In came another officer that dragged along Y/N. The officer kept Y/N’s arm behind her back as she stumbled forward the slightest bit.

“Baby girl, what happened?” Hinata said as she got up in concern. You remained silent as you allowed officer Haru to speak.

“I’ll tell you what happen. Musutafu code 459 and 623.” He said.

“Vandalism? And Physical Assualt?” Masaru said concerned.

“What?!” Mitsuki said in shocked.

“What?” Hinata said in follow.

“Y/N...what the hell did you do?” Bakugou said in concern as he faced you. Your boyfriend kept his worried but stern gaze on you but that was because Bakugou was shocked. He knew you would explode but committing crimes and assault? Not to mention getting arrested? That’s not what he expected at all.

“You...” you began as you slanted your sight to your Pomeranian of a boyfriend. “You did this to me! Lock me up and put me in jail for the rest of my life and don’t allow visitors or else he’ll show up and bring me my stupid homework!” You said as you walked towards him but the officer held his hand out infront of you to keep you from getting any closer.

“Well first of all, I’d be helping your dumbass!” Bakugou said in reply. The officer took a look at Bakugou and spoke again.

“You’re the kid who’s head she put back on,” Haru said as he pointed towards Katsuki.

“What?” The blonde boy said.

“He’s my boyfriend and he ruined me!” You said still being held back by officer Haru’s arm.

“She’s my girlfriend and I love her,” Bakugou said with a stern voice and his hands in his pockets as he glared you down. “Look, Y/N. Just tell me what you did.”

“She assaulted two teenage girls and did a number on a public park. My park. I watch that park every day and it has never met harm not once until she came along.

“I’m sorry...” you softly said. A quick silence filled the room before Haru spoke once more.

“You all care about this girl?”

“We do.” Mitsuki said with 100% sureness.

“Then let’s all take a field trip down to my park so I can show you all just what she did. Let’s go.” Haru said and guided everyone out the door. Katsuki tried to grab your arm to get an explanation on his own but you shook your head, took his hand, and guided him as well.

After a short walk, you all made it to the park. All of you had walked through the gates to find the concrete area had been completely altered. The walls were painted in beautiful colors with inspiring murals, covering them in words of hope. Extremely precise and intricate chalk designs were covering the ground and the once broken statue had been fixed completely. You all looked around in awe. You walked towards the statues and Bakugou followed you.

“.....I had a brick in my hand.”

“Why?” Bakugou asked with a soft voice. You looked up to him with an equally soft expression as you spoke quietly.

“..because somebody went after you..I know you can defend yourself Suki but..still.”

“Who Y/N?” Mitsuki asked with worry. You took a breath before continuing as you opened up about your past a bit.

“..These two girls I used to know. These two troubled girls I used to know. I could’ve been them..I was one of them. And Suki, even today I would’ve been one of them.” You said but you made eye contact and broke into the smallest smile as you stared into his ruby eyes. “But I’m not. ‘Cuz they think a hammer and a brick makes you strong and as much as I wanted to throw a brick through a window..I knew it would’ve made me weak. I’m strong. And I know it’s because there’s something inside me that stops me from being weak and being one of them, and you are the reason why I have that something. And that something is the reason why I’ll never do any true damage.”

“Because you’re not bad, Y/N.” Bakugou said with a soft smile. You nodded your head and agreed.

“Yeah....why am I not bad?” You asked in confusion. Bakugou chuckled as he took your hands in his and placed his forehead to yours.

“Because it’s just not who you are. You may be a rebel at times, but you’re a rebel with a cause....it’s why I love you.” He softly said and you whimpered a bit at his words as he pulled you in for a tight hug and you slightly weeped into his shoulder. He kissed your temple to calm you down and you pulled your face away from him and just allowed your body to rest against his.

“What happened to the girls?” Masaru asked. You pulled away from Bakugou but allowed him to hold onto your side as you explained with a quivering voice.

“Oh, well they may or may have not insulted everyone and everything I love, so I may or may not have used my hero training against them until they learned their lesson.....especially since they were the ones who destroyed the statue.” You explained and they all just chuckled at your explanation.

“Yeah....they ran away so fast,” you chuckled out softly.

A comfortable silence came around until officer Haru spoke again. “My park. I watch this park everyday.”

You pulled away from Bakugou and stepped to the officer. “...I’m sorry..” you quietly said as you placed your wrists together, expecting the old officer to cuff you. Instead he stared at your wrists before softly grabbing them with his hands and just holding them.

“..You know I’m not gonna give up on that Izumi and Haruki. But I don’t want you to be anything like them.” Old officer Haru said with a comforting voice.

“Heh...I can’t....Katsuki won’t let me.” And the group all chuckled and laughed at that. Haru let go of your hands as he spoke again.

“Musutafu code 459 and 623. Vandalism. Physical Assualt. I’m gonna write this report down. And I’m gonna put it into a file. And then I’m gonna “misplace” that file. And if I never hear from you two hoodlums again, then that file remains misplaced.” He said, admitting to letting you off the hook. You sighed a little as Katsuki walked up to the two of you and softly spoke to you.

“....Ima hoodlum.” He said. Oh, the comedic relief this boy is bringing. You looked at him but went back to the officer as you looked at him in confusion.

“Why’re you letting me off the hook?” You asked but officer Haru just looked around at his newly renovated park.

“My park....I look at this park everyday....I have hope for this park too.” You smiled at him before he nodded with his cap and walked away from you all. The adults all looked at the two teens and saw Katsuki nod his head as he held you. They decided to give the two of you some space and head back to the house while you and Katsuki took a seat on the bench. You sat next to each other in a warm silence as Katsuki kept an arm around your waist and held you tight.

“...You still owe me an explanation Y/N.” He said and you nodded as you looked to him. He was right. You not only owed him an explanation but he deserved one too. And so you told him everything. All the lies, how your father left early on, how it was just you and your mother who struggled to keep the lights on. You told him you lied to him to prevent him from worrying, claiming that the troubled life was everything you knew and you thought you would be able to survive without his help. When he asked how his mother knew yours but didn’t know that you were the daughter of her dear friend, you told him how she did know but you begged her to not tell Katsuki. You told Mitsuki you would tell Katsuki eventually but eventually never came until now. Katsuki, being the great boyfriend that he is, listened to everything. He didn’t judge you for anything. Was he a little mad at the lies? Yes, but he understood. And he still loved you nonetheless.

Eventually, it became so late that the sun began to rise over the park and you were all cuddled up into Katsuki’s side with your knees pressed up against your chest. He rested his head on yours as you rested your own on his shoulder. You both just reveled in the intimate moment and savored every second.

“Hey princess?”

“Yeah Suki?” Bakugou looked towards the statue and smiled before speaking.

“Thanks for putting my head back on.”

You looked at him, pecked his cheek, and snuggled in closer.

“Yeah.....same to you.”

A/N: Hey Cubs! I know this wasn’t really a Bakugou x Reader kinda thing but I like the story line of it and I wrote it so HAH! Truthfully though, I hoped you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned. Oh! And part 9 of “Oh, The Lies You Tell” will be out shortly! See you soon Cubs!

[fific7]

Ticket to Ride - Part 6

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine. Here we are at the final part!

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit and my photos of Murano & Burano)

𝕄𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖

𝕄𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖

𝕄𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖

{…𝕠𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕖?}

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy awoke early the next morning, reaching over to his phone on the bedside table and tapping the screen to see what time it was. Seven. Plenty of time to have a shower and make his way down to the breakfast room.

Standing under the stream of hot water, he couldn’t help feeling apprehensive. What if she had done another runner? He wouldn’t be able to cope with that. He didn’t think she would have, but…. he just wasn’t 100% sure what she was thinking or feeling right now.

After his full disclosure of what he’d got up to with Madani followed swiftly by his confession of love last night, he felt more optimistic but he could tell she was still conflicted.

He’d just have to do whatever he could today to persuade her to give him another chance.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Making your way into the light and airy breakfast room at just after eight, you couldn’t deny you were pleased to see Billy, sitting up super straight like a well-behaved schoolboy, already at a table.

His face broke into a huge smile when he spotted you, and you could see a large measure of relief wrapped up in it. You knew he would’ve been wondering if you had run out on him again. But no, you’d decided overnight to at least see how things went today on your trip to the Lagoon Islands.

He’d thrown you a curveball by telling you he loved you last night, and while you were relieved to hear that he hadn’t slept with that woman (his anger when you’d pushed him on it had finally convinced you that he hadn’t), you still weren’t exactly happy with what he had admitted to doing. It was still cheating in your book.

Could you ever really trust him again?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy fussed over her like a mother hen when she sat down across from him at the table, jumping up and rushing over to the buffet table, picking out a selection of toast, focaccia, butter, jams and Nutella for her along with a couple of mini pain au chocolat croissants. They were her favourites so he felt quite proud of himself as he laid the plate before her like the spoils of war, before making his way to the coffee machine and creating a cappuccino for her.

“Thank you, Billy - you’re spoiling me,” she said with a small grin. “Your every wish is my command, Princess,” he smiled back, hand covering hers and stroking gently. Now she started properly laughing at him, and he huffed, slightly offended. Once she’d calmed down a bit she said, “Honestly Billy, you don’t have to wait on me hand and foot. All I need from you is complete honesty.” Billy tried to look as convincing as he possibly could, “I will be, sweetheart, I promise.”

She took a sip of her cappuccino, and fixed him with an intense stare. “Bearing that in mind, Billy, just what exactly was going through your mind when you were making out with Madani?”

Billy blew out a big breath; he hadn’t seen that coming. “Well… uhh… nothin’ really. I was just doing somethin’ I had to do, and needed to get it over with as quick as possible.” Another sip of coffee, another intense look from her. “Uh-huh. So you didn’t enjoy it then? Is that what you’re saying?”

Billy suddenly felt like he was back on very thin ice. He could feel himself squirming in his seat, and fought to keep still. Madani was, in all truth, a pretty woman.

Fuck.

What should he say in reply to that?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes were drilling into Billy’s, and he looked about as comfortable as someone who’d just found out he’d got a scorpion down his trousers.

His face flushed pink, so you could guess what that meant. He cleared his throat, and then said in a low voice, “Look, she’s not bad lookin’ so it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could’ve been.”

You smirked, not ready to let him off the hook yet, “So you were attracted to her, then. Not sure I’m happy to hear that, Billy.”

“NO! No, I wasn’t. Well.. like I said, she’s not unattractive but I’m not interested in her.”

You picked up your knife and aggressively sliced right through one of croissants. The look on Billy’s face was priceless. No doubt he’d guessed that the croissant was a surrogate for a certain part of his anatomy.

“Sweetheart, they weren’t long or involved kisses… not real ones, not like between you an’ me,” he said in a worried tone, very unlike his usual assertive manner. “Sweetheart, you’re the one I’m in love with. The only one I want to be with.” He was gazing earnestly at you, hand covering yours.

You cut off another piece of croissant and popped it into your mouth.

Billy would have to work a hell of a lot harder than that today if he was going to get you back, you thought.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Once the vaporetto had moored alongside the jetty you walked on board the boat up the ramp in front of Billy, while the disembarking passengers walked down the other side of it as it swayed from side to side, the boat moving in its own wake. The crew member who’d expertly tied up the boat a few moments ago was still calling out “Palanca, Palanca” as you headed through the covered section to the open area right at the back, sitting down on the bench seat in the stern and turning your face up to the sun.

Billy sat next to you, scooting as close to you as he could, suddenly lunging in for a hungry kiss. Two mothers with children in tow emerged through the doors leading from the salon, and you pushed him away while hastily smiling at the newcomers, saying, “Giorno” to them. Both of them smiled at you, returning your greeting, but then their eyes slid over to Billy and you saw both sets widening as they looked him over. You sighed. Having a hot boyfriend sucked sometimes. And Billy was looking particularly hot today in leather jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans and combat boots.

However, you noticed that Billy’s eyes were glued to you, still gazing at you ever since you’d fended him off. You didn’t think he’d even glanced at the other two women.

OK, Russo - one point on the plus side to you, you conceded.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was paying full attention to his girl. He felt slightly triumphant that he’d managed to steal a kiss, and she’d only shoved him away when he’d vaguely heard the salon doors opening behind him.

He was so worried that she still hadn’t made her mind up whether to take him back or not, and he knew that today was his final chance to convince her to do so. Whatever was in his power to do, he’d do, to make that happen. And he wasn’t dumb, that meant not paying any attention whatsoever to any other females in the vicinity. He’d guessed that a couple of women had arrived along with the kids he could hear squealing and laughing just out of his sight line, so he made sure he kept his eyes trained solely on her.

Her lips curved upwards in a small smile as she looked back at him.

Pleased, he thought - ha, think I just scored a point there.

He wondered how many more of those he needed to rack up to finally win his woman back.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

There were no direct vaporetti lines to the Lagoon Islands so you had to firstly go to Fondamente Nove, which was a busy hub for several of the numerous lines. You wanted to visit two of the main islands; Murano - where Venetians had made their famed glass items for centuries - and Burano, an island of fishermen and lacemakers. You were really excited to go there, as the houses were painted in a rainbow of colours. Legend had it that this was so the returning fishermen could spot their own individual houses as they returned home across the lagoon.

You needed to find the ferry stop for Line 12, which luckily Billy spotted just as the two of you were about to walk right past it. There was a vaporetto arriving just as you did and swiping your travel passes, you went aboard and took seats in the salon. This ferry was a slightly different type to the others you’d been on, longer and lower and was soon packed with locals and tourists alike.

It took a little while to arrive at Murano, alighting at the Faro stop. They still produced glassware on Murano but nothing like as much as they had in the past. You and Billy wandered alongside one of the main canals, looking into the windows of all the little glass shops until you came to the entrance of one of the big glass foundries.

They offered tours of the workshop and of course also had a shop, so the two of you paid for the tour and watched in amazement as an old man took a fiery red and yellow blob onto the end of a pole, and blew and turned it until it started to take on the shape of a little vase.

In the store, you browsed along the shelves looking at all the glassware on display, until you suddenly noticed you were alone. Glancing around, you spotted a dark head over in the corner at the cash desk and were heading over there when Billy turned round. His trademark smirk appeared and he hurriedly picked up the little paper carrier bag which was on the counter by its handles and strode towards you.

“See anything you like, sweetheart?”

Smirk getting wider. You eye-rolled and grabbed his arm, noting at the same time that the female sales assistant was still gawping at Billy, even though he now had his back to her. You tugged him towards the door, asking, “What’ve you just bought?” as you went. He shook his head, “Can’t say. It’s a surprise.” You glared at him, “Billy….” but he just kept grinning as you left the store and wouldn’t say anything, even though you nipped at his wrist just below his leather jacket sleeve with your nails.

“Wanna get a coffee?” he suggested, as you resumed your canalside stroll. “Yeah, okay,” you replied, stopping next to the outdoor tables of a small caffé and sitting down, Billy joining you. He slid his hand over yours, “M’glad we’ve got this time together today, sweetheart. Wanna make you understand just how much you mean to me.”

You nodded in acknowledgment before waving at the waiter and ordering two double macchiatos. You carried on, “The main problem I have, Billy, is how I’m ever going to trust you again? You might not think you cheated, but that’s what it is in my book.”

Billy looked over at you, eyes wide, sad …and scared.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy had then looked up and thanked the waiter as the coffees were placed in front of you both. He really didn’t know what to say, to be honest. He knew Frank - and no doubt Karen - also thought that it had counted as cheating. But he truly hadn’t. Well…. Cheating Lite, as he’d already designated it in his head. But not proper, down-and-dirty, long-term cheating. It had been a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. He just hadn’t considered the bigger picture. At all. And that had been a big mistake.

He took a sip of his coffee, and cleared his throat before spilling out what had just gone through his head. “Y’know I’m not exactly an expert at relationships, angel. In fact, I’m sure you’ll agree I’m totally shit at them. I need you to keep me on the straight and narrow. Tell me how things need to be. Please don’t give up on us, don’t leave me… please.” Billy was completely and utterly pouring out his heart to her, and he prayed she could see that.

His girl looked at him, some anger and hurt still in her eyes but she managed a shaky breath and looked down into the depths of her coffee cup for a few moments.

Billy held his breath.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes met his again, “But how am I going to trust you again, Billy, tell me that? Every time you say you’re working late, how d’you expect me not to think you’re meeting up with her or someone else?”

Now it was Billy’s turn to look down. The silence stretched out to a few minutes, and you did nothing to break it. Eventually he looked up at you again, “M’tryin’ to think of how I can prove to you that I’ll never, ever, do something like that again - whether it’s work-related or not.”

He reached across and slid his long fingers between yours, holding onto your hand so tightly it felt like he’d never let go.

“Firstly, I give you my word as an ex-Marine that I won’t ever pull a stunt like this again. Secondly, I’ll be the most attentive boyfriend you’ve ever had. In and out of the sack.” You tried to hide a smile, but you knew he’d seen it. “Thirdly, I’ll put a tracker on my phone, and I’ll hack you into my messagin’ and email apps so you’ll have absolute access to my location and comms.” He was smirking back at you by now, he felt this was going pretty well.

“But you’ve got access to burner phones, Billy.”

His smile dimmed, while his brain scrambled to come up with a solution to this inconvenient fact. You saw his eyes light up and the smirk returned, “Easy. I’ll put Frank in sole charge of issuing them and I’ll tell him not to give me any unless it’s absolutely necessary for an op.”

“Could just buy them in Walmart’s,” you dropped into the slight pause after he’d finished speaking. His face fell again, and now you burst out laughing. “Okay, okay, Billy - I get the message. I see that you’re doing your best to be honest and transparent. There’s no need for you to put all that tracking and hacking in place.”

Billy beamed at you.

“I’ll just get Micro to track your ass.”

His mouth dropped open as you spoke.

“And monitor all your calls and texts.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Woah! thought Billy, didn’t think she’d be getting King Nerd involved. That was probably Karen’s idea. Gee, thanks Karen. But he would agree, what else could he do? And he’d offered to track himself, so it didn’t really matter in any case, did it?

“Uhhh…” he stuttered, “….uhh yeah, whatever you like, sweetheart.”

She smiled over at him, a genuine smile. “It’s OK, Billy. I wouldn’t do that to you.” She side-eyed him, “Unless you give me good cause. Like… coming home stinking of another woman’s perfume ever again.”

His hand went over his heart, and he put on his best puppydog eyes. “Angel, I swear on my life - never. Never. Ever. Again.”

She nodded. “Okay, Billy, I’ll take that as you being on oath now, just like when you joined the Marines.” His eyes widened and he nodded fast. “Yeah. I am. I’m on oath.”

He watched as she drained the very last few drops of her coffee. “Okay, Russo! Let’s go,” she said standing up and picking up her bag.

“Yes, ma’am!” He jumped up and saluted, taking his place at her side as they retraced their steps to the Faro stop and their next vaporetto.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d hopped onto the next Line 12 ferry which arrived, and recommenced your onwards journey to Burano. Sitting inside the salon again, the loud chatter around you from the mostly local passengers almost drowned out any conversation you and Billy tried to have. He finally leaned right up against you, snaking his arm round your waist, his lips against your ear.

“Got you a little somethin’, sweetheart.” He handed you the gift bag.

Opening it, you saw a mass of tissue paper inside the bag and took it out. “Careful!” he warned, so you slowly opened up the paper and saw a delicate rose pink heart trinket box sitting at its centre. You lifted its little lid up and then replaced it, delighted with it. Smiling at Billy, you said, “I love it!” into his ear and kissed his cheek. His lips returned to your ear, “See? You have my heart.”

Now you rolled your eyes heavenwards, “I’d stop there if I were you, Russo. Cheesy really doesn’t suit you!” He burst out laughing. “Hey! Give a guy a break. He’s over here layin’ his heart and soul right out in front of you.”

You leant in and kissed him on the lips, before pulling back and saying, “And don’t read too much into that!” But Billy was already grinning happily back at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was happy. His steps were light as he walked beside her from the vaporetto stop along a small street, lined with stalls and shops selling souvenirs and lacework, which eventually led to a square.

She loved the trinket box! he thought, very pleased with himself. The minute he’d seen it he knew that she would, and had decided to buy it on the spot. While he didn’t want her to think he was trying to buy her back, he’d just wanted to make some gesture to show her that he treasured her, the same way she’d treasure the little things she put in it.

He blurted all of this out to her as they strolled along. She stopped walking and looked at him, amazed, “Billy Russo! I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He felt shy suddenly, and he could feel his face heating up. What was happening to him? Is this what love did to you? He didn’t hate it. “It’s how I feel,” he mumbled, looking away from her. He felt her hand on his cheek, “Well, keep that up and maybe, just maybe…”

She turned and started walking again, and Billy hurried to catch up with her. I won’t push it, he thought, I’ll just leave it be while I’m on a winning streak.

There was another street leading off the square which was full of trattorias and caffés, and they chose one of the restaurants to sit outside, the tables rapidly filling as more people from the vaporetto stop arrived.

She’s definitely looking at me more kindly, he thought. Things might just be okay after all.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a delicious lunch of pasta and several glasses of wine, you and Billy started exploring the little canals and streets with their cute colourful houses. They looked so bright and beautiful in the sunlight, and you imagined the fishermen back in the day sailing home and being able to see their own little house from afar.

You reached the waterside, beside a quiet little square with houses all around it and some grass in the middle, clothes on washing lines strung across it, blowing in the breeze. There was no-one else around and suddenly you found yourself pressed up against the wall of one of the houses, Billy’s long fingers on the nape of your neck, his hand on your waist. His dark chocolate eyes were gazing into yours, a soft look in them. But you could also feel something a lot harder pressing into your hip, and you saw desire spark in his eyes.

His mouth was on yours and he kissed you, the sudden passion of which took you by surprise. He pulled back, his forehead touching yours. “I’ve missed your touch so much,” he whispered, “…every minute of every day since you.. since you left me.” You laid your hand on his chest, “I missed you too, Billy - even if I did hate you at the time.” He chuckled, “Do you still hate me?” You looked into those beautiful eyes, “No, I guess I don’t. Although you’re still walking a line, Billy.”

He nodded, “I know. I do know. But promise me you’ll give me another chance?” You smiled at him, pushing yourself away from the wall and him, “Let’s see, shall we?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy tapped on her hotel room door, and gave her a devilish grin as she opened it. He’d made sure to wear a white tank and a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms. He knew she liked him in those.

She was already in her sleepwear - an oversized Anvil T which she’d stolen from him ages ago - and leant against her door, looking back at him, amused. “Why Billy, whatever brings you here?”

He just kept grinning at her and also leant against her doorframe. As if she didn’t know, he thought. She’d had to spend the entire journey back from Burano fending off his hands and mouth.

“Just checkin’ you’re OK, sweetheart. See if there’s anything you need.”

She laughed. “And what could I possibly need, Billy?”

He angled his body so that she couldn’t fail to get a great view of his toned torso and more importantly, the very obvious outline of his erection showing in his joggers. If there was one thing Billy had complete confidence in, it was the effect his body had on women.

“I can think of one or two things, sweetheart.”

He was ecstatic when her hand reached out and grabbed him round the back of his neck, pulling him into her room. “Uhuh… maybe you should show me what those are.”

Billy’s grin got twice as wide.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You gave a huge sigh as Billy pushed inside you, hearing an answering one from him and you ran your hands up into his lush hair. You couldn’t deny it, you had missed him. And his enthusiastic lovemaking.

However you were a little taken aback when he began moving slowly and sensually on you, instead of his usual frenetic pace. He was stroking your hair, placing little kisses all over your face and neck, running his hands over your body, whispering “I love you, love you so much” between his languid thrusts. He slid a hand down and massaged your clit, so well that you climaxed within a few short moments. Not long afterwards, you heard him gasp and he released into you, with a long groan.

The two of you lay in silence, side by side but still entwined. Then Billy leant across and kissed you, softly, slowly, with passion. “I can’t be without you, angel.” The puppydog eyes were out in force again as he gazed at you, “Please. Gimme another chance. I’ll be a better boyfriend, a million times better.”

You continued to look back at him, then gave a quick nod, “Okay. Yes, okay Billy. But one… just one transgression…” His hands went up in supplication, “Understood! Not one transgression will be made.”

“And you make sure to tell that thirsty bitch back in New York that her little dates with you won’t be happening anymore.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Already done.”

He saw her eyebrows rise.

Oh. Oh, she thinks that means I’ve been in touch with her.

“No, sweetheart…. Frankie took care of that for me while I’ve been away.”

She smirked, “Pleased to hear it.”

Billy let out a sigh of relief, he was going to have to be so careful over the next few months. He’d only just got her back! He couldn’t let a stupid, chance remark or two ruin it. He ran his hand over her hair again. “I’m so happy, y’know? M’never going to take you for granted again.” He saw her smile widen in the darkness of the room.

“But, sweetheart, you gotta promise me something too.” She looked at him, puzzled, amused, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. No more runnin’ out on me and flyin’ halfway round the world.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3 @theshadowkingsqueen @bat-luna-cat @carlywhomever

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[realcube]

karasuno first years — praise or degradation?

tw// nsfw, vagina-having reader, heavy praise, heavy degradation, risky public sex & oral (giving)

all aged up!

shōyō hinata

♡ praise ofc

♡ he just thinks you’re so beautiful 🥺

♡ how could stay quiet about it?

♡ how vocal he is purely depends on if he’s went to practise that day

♡ the msby jackals work him to the bone to he just wants to come home, fuck you stupid silently then go to bed

♡ so if he’s not went to work, then he’s probably full of energy 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

hinata continued to pound into you relentlessly, a huge grin plastered across his face as he watched you submissively take his cock like his good girl. though, it’s not like you had much of a choice considering he had a steel grip on your hips, practically using you as a fleshlight at this point.

“good girl~” his speech was slurred, continuing to jut into your with vigour, grinning proudly as he observed you struggling to take his whole length, “you’re so pretty lookin’.”

tobio kageyama

♡ neither 

♡ he’s so quiet during sex istg

♡ but in his mind, he’s only thinking of compliments so praise ig??

♡ but the closest he’s ever gotten to praising you is one time y’all were doing it while he was a bit tipsy, he mindlessly groaned, ‘woah, you’re hot’

♡ and the closest he’s gotten to degrading you is while you were giving him a blowjob, you were teasing him a lil’ bit and he seriously couldn’t take it anymore so he just muttered, ‘bitch.’ under his breath before jutting his hips into your mouth

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

kageyama stood aloof as he looked down at you with a menacing glare; why were you being such a brat today? can’t you just suck him off quickly so he can go back to practise? the team were probably getting suspicious by now but you just sat there on your knees, gently swirling your tongue around his tip while gazing up at him innocently with a mischievous glint in your eyes - you clearly knew that you were driving him crazy. 

only a few seconds passed before he was simply unable to handle it anymore, so his hand instinctively reached down to grab a clump of your hair in his fist and push his hips further into your mouth. bliss immediately enveloped his mind and he forgot to let go of it so it got to the point where he was just mouth-fucking you, his mouth hung open while letting out silent groans. 

kei tsukishima 

♡ degradation 

♡ but he’s really nice to you...in his mind :))

♡ anyway yeah he’s like into degradation so much 

♡ how mean he is to you depends on how bratty you’re being/if there is a special occasion

♡ it turns him on so much when you agree with his degrading comments

♡ ‘you’re such a desperate whore’ he’d hiss then proceed to get weak knees when you reply, ‘only for you, kei.’

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“but tsukki~” you whined with a pout, as if that’d make a difference when your boyfriend’s eyes were fixated on your soaking cunt, “it’s my birthday, so be gentle?”

tsukishima quirked a brow, finally shifting his gaze to meet yours, only to let out a mocking laugh, “your birthday? why should i care?” he scoffed, and before you could complain further, he stuck two fingers in your mouth to serve as a gag. “if anything, i should go harder since you’re a dirty fuckin’ slut who likes that shit anyway.”

tadashi yamaguchi

♡ praise but he really wants to try degradation

♡ like sometimes you ride him to make him feel better about losing a game and he is just so frustrated with himself for making a shitty serve and degradation would really help him take it out in a way that you both can enjoy 

♡ so one time the word ‘whore’ just slipped from his lips and you were like 

♡ new kink unlocked: degradation

♡ then proceeded to beg him to degrade you more 

♡ and ofc he said yes

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you both stared at each other intensely, eyes wide and both extremely turned on by the word that just fell from tadashi’s lips. he was quite ashamed at first but upon noticing your lips curl into a smile before pleading for him to be meaner, it was as if all his dreams had come true.

“faster, c’mon.” yamaguchi spat, taking a fistful of your thigh and giving it a tight squeeze to cope with the immense amount of pleasure he was feeling as you rode him. “i said faster, bitch.” his voice was shaky yet intimidating none the less as you knew he wouldn’t hesitate in flipping you over and dicking you down right there and then if you don’t give him what he wants.

(pink bc pink is my fav color and she is my fav character 🥺)

hitoka yachi

♡ depends on whether she is giving or receiving

♡ when you’re fingering her, she become the most submissive gal alive 

♡ and she compliments you so frequently - even if you are degrading her

♡ ‘you make me feel so good, (y/n--’ ‘shut up.’

♡ but as soon as she puts on that bright pink strap-on..it unlocks something deep inside her that you’d never see otherwise

♡ like yamaguchi, when the strap is on, her frustrations come out in the form of degradation

♡ she genuinely takes the term ‘going feral’ to an another level

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

honestly, looking up at yachi while she was ramming into you was intimidating, to say the least.

a menacing grin spread across her face as she looked down at your cunt with an proud glint in her eyes, her singular aim being that she needed to see you cry for her. and the fact she was on the brink of achieving it only 5 minutes in was scary.  

“you like that, don’t you?” she choked, continuously abusing your sweet spot. once she noticed that you were too fucked silly to conjure a response, she answered for you, “of course you do.”

[straykidsreactions]

Reaction To: S/O in Little Space

S T R A Y   K I D S  R E A C T I O N   T O : You, their S/O, in little space. 

Genre: Fluff + mildly suggestive

Disclaimer: Little space is not an inherently nsfw or suggestive topic-- it’s only marked as such in the directory as a preface for those who may be unfamiliar since the dialogue contains some mature themes. xo

Chan: 

His instinctive caretaker mode would sense the shift in your demeanor without you having to say a word. If the two of you were alone he would’ve scooped you up into his arms without hesitation, but being in the van with the other members made things difficult. He’d find a balance between making sure you knew he was there for you while still maintaining a level of professionalism. The other members were taking photos to post on the group instagram later that night and he didn’t want to interrupt their fun, but he’d first and foremost make sure you were comfortable and felt safe. 

*watching you with soft eyes as you curled up in your seat across from him and pulled your knees close to your chest, only turning away from you when Jisung tapped him on the shoulder to take a picture of him for social media*

“Hyung, pose!” He’d make a peace sign with one hand and face the younger member for the photo, all the while his free hand was out of shot placed firmly on your thigh, squeezing you lightly as reassurance that he’d take you somewhere quieter as soon as he could. 

*turning away form the camera and leanig in to whisper in your ear*

“You’re being such a good (girl/boy) for Daddy, just wait a little bit longer and we can go home, ok?”

Minho: 

Minho may not come across as the warmest person on the outside, but your little space had a way of bringing out the softest and most adoring side of him, he couldn’t help but to smile around you and you can bet that when you’re in little space he’s giving you everything you want-- is definitely a pushover when it comes to enforcing rules.

*smiling brightly and laughing as he watched you stack up pillows from the couch to build a fort on the floor*

“Yahh, baby we need those to sit on!”

*his laughter growing louder as you teased him, playfully hitting him with a pillow and whining*

“Daddyyyy,I wanna make a fort, please?”

*smiling brightly as he placed a hand gently on the top of your head, patting your hair and giggling at how sweet you looked*

“Aish...you’re too cute to say no to, promise Daddy you’ll help me put them back after, ok?”

Changbin: at an mv shoot and he notices you pouting bc ur sleepy

He could tell the moment you waddled up to him on set and rubbed your eyes that something was different, and as soon as he made eye contact with you he could tell you were in your little space. He’d immediately soften his expression, looking around to see if there was anywhere quiet he could have you stay until he was finished working for the night, worried that the music video set would be too hectic for you.

*staring at you sweetly as he stepped closer to you, knowing that proximity to him made you feel safer especially when you were in a little headspace*

“Is my baby sleepy?”

*nodding as you fiddled with the strings of his hoodie that you’d slipped on over your clothes, watching as your boyfriend rubbed his chin with the pad of his thumb in thought*

“Aishh... how about this, let me finish filming my shots and then I’ll take you home right now, ok honey? Can you wait for Daddy for 15 more minutes?”

Hyunjin: 

He wouldn’t notice right away that you’d become more quiet, curling up on the floor of the dance studio against your boyfriend’s duffle bag as he continued to rehearse with the other members. After they’d finished a run-through of the dance, however, he’d look over and immediately pick up on your shift into little space. he’d immediately become worried and flustered, not wanting to over-exert you physically or mentally.

*crouching down onto the floor and giving you a pouty stare as he made sure you were ok*

“Baby (girl/boy)-- what’re you doing down here, hm? Do you need anything, is it too loud in here?”

*nodding softly as you perked your head up a little, sucking absentmindedly on one of your fingers as Hyunjin nodding in understanding*

“There’s some snacks in my bag for you, why don’t you eat something and put some earbuds in, I promise I’ll be done soon, ok?”

Jisung: 

When you started falling asleep with your head against the table as your boyfriend worked on lyrics for the upcoming album across from you, he woudn’t notice at first that you’d slipped into little space. As soon as he looked up from his computer, however, he’d realize and wouldn’t hesitate to shift into his sweet caretaker role. 

*taking your hand in his gently and pulling you up so that you were sitting up*

“Baby I know you wanna sleep but our dinner is on the way and you need to eat, ok? You need to stay awake for me sweet pea.”

*whining softly as you rubbed your eyes*

“D-daddy I’m tired...”

*flashing you a small smile as he began making cute gestures in hopes of making you smile, squeezing your cheeks and then doing the same to his own as you giggled*

“Should we do something then, baby? So you can stay awake? Or maybe just laugh at daddy’s funny faces, hmm?”

Felix:

The environment at the company dinner and was filled with boisterous laughter and chatter, so when you padded up to Felix with your gaze locked on the floor he wouldn’tt be surprised by your obvious shift into little space. He’d do his best to be there for you while still speaking quietly so that his members around him didn’t hear the two of you talking-- not wanting to embarrass you.

“What is it baby, are you ok?”

*shaking your head softly as Felix stared up at you from his seat attentively, his hand finding the hem of your shorts and playing with it absentmindedly*

“I-I left m-my stuffy in the car...”

*his expression serious as he took in what you were saying, never belittling or teasing you when you were in little space; the playful and teasing side of your relationship would completely shift into pure doting and adoration in these moments*

“You left your stuffy in the car baby? No no no, here take my hand, I’ll get the keys from manager hyung and we can walk down there together, ok?”

Seungmin: 

The two of you are on your way to watch a late night movie and going back and forth trying to decide on what you wanted to watch. The instant that he suggested a recently released thriller movie that he’d been interested in he saw your face shift into one of fear and nervousness as you shook your head-- and he quickly caught on to your shift. He’d smile brightly as a way of reassuring you that he’d never let you watch something that made you uncomfortable, despite his playful remarks.

*raising his hands up and barring his teeth cutely as he mimicked a monster*

“Awww, my baby’s scared? Do you think there’ll be monsters that’ll jump out at us?” 

*chuckling as you shook your head rapidly, sticking your tongue out at him as he giggled and pulled you closer towards him*

“I’m teasing baby, when we get there you can pick a movie you wanna watch, ok? No extra candies though, y/n, I don’t want my pretty (girl/boy)’s teeth to rot.”

Jeongin: 

He was always pretty perceptive when it came to your shifts, so when you sat down on his lap while he was working with tears bubbling up in your eyes he could tell you were coping with a long and difficult day. He wouldn’t ask you to talk much about it, he knew more than anything you needed someone to take care of you and brighten your spirits. 

*smiling softly as he leaned closer to you and wiped the small tears from your cheeks before adjusting the beanie on his head and fiddling with the strings on his hoodie to distract you*

“baby, look-- do I look cute like this, hm?

*sniffling as you nodded, smiling slightly*

“Don’t cry baby...I’ve got you, should we go get you something to eat? I bet that’ll make you smile.”