#would love more than angst

[theshadowrealmitself]

“How come more people don’t ship [insert ship]” because every time we go into the tag it’s the most angsty stuff ever

[gayeddie-saved-me]

it’s a selfish thought and arthur knows it because merlin has spent so much time hiding a vital part of his existence, his very being, all because of arthur. so he presses it down into the deepest recesses of himself and focuses on doing everything he can to support merlin, to give merlin the world he deserves. a world where he is free.

but sometimes, when he’s alone in his room surrounded by his endless responsibilities, he will think to himself, i am nothing.

merlin and the old religion hold him as this once and future king, but no matter what they say, he can’t understand why they think any of this is about him. it was never him. everything he’d done, every accomplishment and fight he’d won had never been his to claim. he was a fraud. he was a lonely king with nothing to his name beyond the blood on his hands, the blood staining his every crevice.

he isn’t the once and future king. he doesn’t deserve any of the praise. he is the moon, a piece of rock in the sky that shines only because of the sun. without the sun, the moon is worthless. without the sun, no one would have ever looked at the moon twice.

arthur had never been proud of his mistakes and his inaction when it came to his father’s slaughter, but he had been proud of the things he had done to keep his kingdom and his people safe and healthy and happy. he has fought and fought and fought only to discover he had never even landed a punch. every knockout, every victory he had held up to hide the ugly nothingness of his true, empty self was never his to hold. with the discovery of merlin’s magic, any worthiness he thought he’d earned had slipped through his fingers like sand through a sieve.

merlin is beautiful and powerful. merlin is a god amongst men, a gift given to this world, given to arthur, and for what?

this prophecy for arthur was always about merlin. he carried the weight, he fought and fought and fought and he won, merlin was the one who had carried this kingdom on his back until they reached the safety of the golden era of the current day.

it’s a selfish thought, to be thinking of himself in relation to merlin’s magic when merlin has suffered every single day because of arthur. and yet, in those moments, he can’t help but wonder why he was born at all, why he was named savior of a group of people who would’ve never died if only he had stayed unmade, a whisper of nothingness in his mother’s womb.

his first breath caused a massacre, a genocide, and yet he was given an angel and a title and a prophecy of greatness he could never actually fulfill.

he would never tell merlin about these thoughts he had. merlin would end up feeling guilty somehow, would carry the weight of arthur’s worthlessness even more by taking on the deserved revulsion arthur had for himself.

no, he couldn’t tell merlin about this. merlin would tell him he was wrong, would try to talk him up and fix it. would use that endless kindness to tell arthur endless stories about his own importance. merlin would shine his sunshine on arthur until arthur forgot he was just a lump of rock. he wouldn’t rest until arthur loved himself, until arthur took all the credit for merlin’s own accomplishments again.

no, he would keep this to himself. he would give merlin the attention and love he deserves. this story isn’t actually about arthur pendragon. it never was.

[silverwhittlingknife]

OKAY SO i have been rereading dustorange's wonderful post here about Dick in an UtRH-esque scenario where he dies & then comes back to life

AND I HAVE INCOHERENT BRAINSTORMING THOUGHTS:

so first, i think Robin!Dick would be just as hurt by the discovery that Bruce has a new Robin, and brood about it - but i think the shame of having died would stop him from confronting Bruce about it the way Nightwing!Dick does in canon.

and I do NOT think that he would expect Bruce to kill anyone for him (or even be upset that he doesn't? I just don't think this would be a consideration for Dick. he's gonna be fixated on "I failed." so he'll be upset about being replaced but not about the lack of revenge. and if Bruce did take revenge, i think he'd actually feel angry and betrayed about that because it'd feel like the choice was taken away from him, a la how upset he gets when he thinks Bruce has arranged to have Zucco killed - even if he intellectually knows that Bruce wasn't deliberately undermining himbecause he didn't know Dick was gonna come back to life.)

anyway so what WOULD he do??

what comes to mind is something along the lines of "Dick obsessively keeps an eye on Batman & Robin even while telling himself that he's not"

and then - say - if it's Robin!Tim (i feel like this has to be Tim because in the world where Dick dies there is no way that Bruce is voluntarily picking a new Robin), then maybe the moment when Dick steps in is when Bruce is in danger & he's furious / critical of Tim for not protecting Bruce well enough

and i feel like that's how he'd channel the hurt feelings - it'd all be deflected under shame and obligation, and then translated into the anger of "you replaced me & yet you're failing to do the job that you're supposed to do" (which is actually about projection/self-hatred because Dick would actually be mad at himself for having died & not doing that job anymore)

and Dick wouldn't want to see Bruce at all because of the shame over dying & subconscious fear that Bruce doesn't want him back, plus every little thing that Tim does differently would drive him NUTS because it implies that maybe the way Dick did things wasn't good enough for Bruce

i'm actually kind of fascinated by this now. because i am me and i have (1) obsession i am mostly invested in the dick & tim side of it sdfsdfds

so i'm picturing Tim very stung by whatever critical things Dick said to him & tracking this mysterious vigilante down, and then Dick doesn't want to spend ANY time with him BUT he's also subconsciously desperate for news of Bruce!!! so then something something Dick starts sorta training him a la Tim's various contacts with edgy non-batman-aligned vigilantes, and Tim's very defensive about how he IS a good robin so THERE but of course he's also defensive because he's secretly worried he's not good enough.

normally i would have tim Recognize dick since recognizing dick is tim's most basic skill HOWEVER i think it would be much more fun if tim doesn't recognize him so he can give dick a speech about legacy & the first robin: "i do x and such because that's how the first robin did it so it is Objectively Correct." which Dick will find incredibly infuriating but will be unable to counter since he cannot counter with 'the 1st robin was ME'

…hmmm i do think Dick ought to be angry about SOMETHING about batman's methods/attitude just because that's more dynamic? I feel like in order to make the adaptation work, there ought to be SOME kind of argument with Bruce right before he dies that he can still be mad about, a la the garzonas fight for Jason and Bruce. unsure what though?

okay let's see: I feel like Dick's main arguments with Bruce aren't about vigilante issues per se so much as they're about working in a team - so e.g.

1) Bruce being controlling/demanding, and 2) Bruce being secretive and doing stuff behind Dick's back, and 3) Bruce not allowing Dick enough autonomy, 4) just generally a perceived lack of trust.

SO maybe whatever The Frustrating Thing that bruce was doing when dick died is a thing he's STILL doing with this new robin, and dick is getting frustrated all over again sorta on tim's behalf but mostly on his own behalf because he never got to resolve this with bruce

but anyway that way when Bruce finally spots disguised!Dick, then they can have the fight again before Bruce realizes who he is <3

[revenantghost]

I do love how, upon learning what Vash is capable of, Wolfwood isn’t exactly afraid of what he is. He’s afraid of what he’s capable of. Because he only knows himself as a monster, so what must one like Vash be able to destroy?

[clambuoyance]

I’m sure it’s because not many people know but kon actually has a lot of different sources for angst potential! He’s engineered to be a copy of earths greatest hero yet constantly struggling to find out who he is outside of a given purpose. He galavants around with the idea that he’s independent enough to be his own boss, but from the moment of his creation he’s been told who to be or exploited by the people he meets. He’s both treated like an adult yet punished for acting like a kid. He makes mistakes and often feels like a screw up but he gets up and tries again every time! He’s acts like the S symbol is both something he already deserves (because that’s what he was made for) yet acts as if he constantly has to prove he’s worthy. He didn’t have a name for the first years of his publication history, and for a long time he didn’t know how to be anything other than Superboy (and maybe he’s still figuring that out). He cried tears of joy when Superman finally gave him his very own Kryptonian name and verbally accepted him into the family, a testament to how important that journey of identity and belonging is to him. At the same time, why did it have to take so long?

His life is constantly being uprooted, and he can never settle in one place long enough to call it home. He deserves agency and stability, yet his life is often slipping out of his own control. He yearns for a mother or father, and maybe if he had one, he wouldn’t feel so lost. For a while, he thought he would never grow up and be who he needs to be, which is ironic given how many people are quick to call him immature. He cares so much for his friends and family, and he is pained when people leave and feels immensely guilty when he hurts the people he cares about. Regardless of what he may think, those people are happy to remind him that they think of him as family too and they’ll travel across time and space and to the ends of the earth for him.

Despite being created in a lab to be a copy of someone else, ironically he is brimming with a unique personality that is sometimes sought to be stifled. But he’s tied so much worth into who he’s supposed to be that shaking that foundation shakes his very core and is a source of insecurity. He acts so differently from Clark, yet so similarly as well. He wants to be Superman, but both emulates him and fights to be Different from him. He believes in seeing the good in people, even if it lands him into trouble, and though he may doubt it or question it he really is a hero at heart. He’s like Clark where it matters, but everything else—his personality and style, his connections to his friends and family, his struggles and triumphs—all of that is completely his own.

He may not have figured out everything it meant to be human, but he’s loved enough to die for it. To die would indeed be an awfully great adventure, but like J.M. Barrie said, “To live would be an awfully big adventure.” And Kon has certainly experienced it all, good and bad.

<3

[triglycercule]

if killer ever went into stage 3 around horror i absolutely want horror to fuck around with him in it. killer would totally obliterate him yes. BUT horror's also smart enough to know not to fuck around (too much) and find out. i think it would be like animal control and a wild feral dog. horror would set up traps for killer to get stuck in and then he crawls out of them. he laughs when killer falls for them so easily because a normal killer wouldn't fall for them so savagely (s2 killer MIGHT purposely trigger horror's traps just to see what would happen but s3..... bro has no thoughts). it's a good time for him to test out what new traps he can try too because killer is stupidly determined enough to keep surviving even the most saw level traps horror comes up with. he could find a way to slice off killer's leg with a cool new funky trap that's basically a torture device and killer will just start chasing him on all threes

killer just has like rabies foam at his mouth and horror is actively laughing at him during all of it. there are several moments where killer almost kills him or fatally wounds him but horror's smart enough to use his limited magic to teleport away in time before killer ends up gouging out his stolen eye. he just finds it so funny because normally killer is a lot smarter than this. killer always has that empty look on his face and is precise and always speaks with that stuck up tone and like he always knows what he's doing and what's going on and now the only thing that killer can say is a bunch of rusyxushabdhshhgggherrrrrggrrrrrr like a dumb dumb little dog. and horror absolutely finds it hilarious as he watches killer climb out of the 30th spike trap he's set. dude is absolutely covered in blood but bro is just dead set on killing horror in s3. horror just finds his fall from grace so PATHETICALLY HILARIOUS!!! and then he falls for another trap where he gets stuck in a net and horror laughs at him all over again and it's just a never ending loop until killer calms down enough to go back to stage 2.

it's a surprisingly good way of dealing with killer's 3rd stage is what dust would say if he didn't watch horror almost get torn apart by killer several times before that and now he has to deal with killer's bleeding from like 40 different wounds

[scumvillainess]

honestly i never really agreed with the popular shen qingqiu had a good shizun headcanon because if shen qingqiu actually had someone who he knew cared about him, he definitely wouldn’t have turned out the way he did in canon.

[peak-dumbass]

I love Raphmona and I love Rasey, but as much as I love turning ships into polycules as an indecisive multishipper, these are 2 ships that I can NOT see working out as a polycule

Casey would try to flirt with Mona like Raph and they’d just respond with:

[chloecherrysip]

"I hope you told your brother how much you loved him, because you're probably never gonna see him again."

"..."

"Was that too dark?"

"YES!"

"Sorry."

[petricorah]

i'm. so excited

[createandconstruct]

Toshinori and Inko finding out their pregnant a year into marriage and just sitting staring at the test like...oh. This was not exactly in the plan...nor did they even think it was possible??

They tell Izuku first of course and when they do he actually thinks they're kidding! Haha! That's actually...pretty funny, guys...uhhh...why do you both look so serious.......oh, oh shit. OH. All Might and Mom are having a kid? He's going to be a brother? In his twenties??? HUH?

Cut to nine months later and Izuku's holding his little sister, Toshinori beside him, arm around his shoulder, as Inko watches on with love and pride, because their family feels even more complete than it was before.

[cluescorner]

Little Bits I got from the hangout (Spoilers for Kaeya’s Hangout)

-------------------

Things in parentheses are my own thoughts rather than canon stuff. 

- Kaeya is a very kind person at his core. Both to those he loves and total strangers. 

- So many people love Kaeya. From the staff at the Winery to the KoF to the citizenry of Mond to mild acquaintances to total strangers, Kaeya is truly loved by those around him. 

- The KoF are all co-parenting Klee together, though they disagree a bit on exactly HOW to parent her. 

- Kaeya is a great schemer but he TERRIBLE at coming up with fake names (Albert Rich...really?)

- Kaeya was a very shy child while Diluc was rambunctious. Diluc would get them into trouble and Kaeya would go along with whatever Diluc wanted. (I hope that we get a bit more of their dynamic when they were younger explored and that we see more of what Diluc did to be a good brother to Kaeya)

- The entire winery loves Kaeya. Not just Adelinde, not just Adelinde and Elzer. Everyone. They watched him grow up into the man he is today and they consider him a member of the family. 

- Adelinde has covered for Diluc and Kaeya’s antics in the past. (probably why she’s so adept at covering for Diluc’s darknight hero stuff.)

- Tunner knew that something bothered young Kaeya, that there was some sort of deep-rooted issue that it’s implied Kaeya never talked to them about. (If Tunner knew, it is very likely that others at the Winery knew that this kid had TRAUMA. My guess is that at some point somebody brought it up to Crepus, who had noticed something similar, and he then asked Kaeya about it. Whether Kaeya confessed at that point...IDK)

- Klee is the cutest thing to ever exist and she loves Kaeya so much (that is not opinion, it is fact). 

- Kaeya sometimes forgets which lie he has told to a person before and uses it twice. Diluc WILL call him out on this, before inevitably capitulating to whatever Kaeya asks. (Standard older sibling behavior, you put up a fuss but ultimately you will do literally anything to make them happy. It’s why I think Diluc is the older of the two, even if Kaeya also has many older sibling traits). 

- Kaeya got sick fairly often as a child, but has grown up to be healthier. Adelinde took good care of him whenever that happened. (Chronically ill Kaeya truthers rise up! Also, he was probably sickly because of a few factors: not having the immune system for Mond’s diseases, probably living in the Abyss, probably having malnutrition, he was abandoned in the MIDDLE OF A STORM, and because winters in Mond are harsh).

- Adelinde knows exactly how Kaeya likes his food.

- Adelinde cares a lot about how maids are supposed to behave, but only on the surface level. If Kaeya can word something correctly, she’ll happily capitulate. 

- Kaeya knows a lot about the winery business. (Supports my personal headcanon that Kaeya was supposed to take over the Winery’s business after Crepus’s death, but then the fight happened). 

- Kaeya loves to act and would consider doing it full-time. He is also apparently very good at it (wow shocker. Boy who was raised as a child-spy and is constantly lying is good at acting.)

- While onstage, Kaeya is allergic to subtlety. (I love this. 10/10, throw off the shackles of destiny and toss a prop into the audience). 

- Kaeya doesn’t like to bask in the glory of the good things he does, sneaking out just as songwriting preparations are getting good (Kaeya is also fairly shy at his core, but the persona he’s formed won’t allow for that). 

- Kaeya is known to be thoughtful and is a good gift-giver. 

- Venti wholeheartedly accepts Kaeya as a child of Mondstadt, considers him a friend, and wants to see him throw off the shackles fate placed upon him. (I actually liked Venti a lot this hangout. We get to see him be silly but also wise, understand how he feels about the whole ‘worshipping Barbatos’ thing, and watch him encourage the creativity of others. Plus, imo this hangout basically confirms that Venti 100% knows about Kaeya’s predicament and more than anything wants to see that Kaeya is happy and cared for in Mondstadt). 

- (Kaeya at least suspects that Venti is Barbatos. The way the english VA acted things was a little too pointed to seem like genuine lack of knowledge about Venti’s identity.)

- Barbara cares about family the most, to the point that she will suggest that over even the worship of Barbatos himself (this is unsurprising, but also very sad considering how rarely she and Jean get to interact as sisters). 

- Diona will sing hymns about fish-related foods and Venti 100% supports singing about that over Barbatos (also unsurprising). 

- Diluc CAN AND WILL kill anyone who harasses his staff (somebody please draw fanart of Diluc fucking bumrushing poor Captain Wu to defend the maids, the image is simultaneously sweet and HILARIOUS). 

[eliks-edge]

I love the idea of a death wizard who parallels Malistaire pre-Sylvia’s death working together with Cyrus so much. Cyrus sees his brother in this child and it hurts because he misses his brother so much but it also worries him deeply. The wizard and Malistaire are so similar he can only hope that the trauma the wizard will have to live with after dragonspyre (and even more so after future worlds) will not make them into the man Malistaire is now. And really and truly, Malistaire is just a man overrun with grief over a loved one, which could so easily happen to the wizard. I think it would so interesting to see a villain arc very similar to Malistaires with the wizard

[qprpbj]

foster curtis bros universe where the three of them are long term foster placements with their parents, darry ages out of foster care at 18 obv but ofc continues to live there anyway, then their parents die and darry has to figure out how the hellllll to deal with custody rights and adoption and proving to the government & courts that he’s fit to keep his found-family brothers all together instead of having them both return to foster care idkkk… 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[seaghosst]

we need to stop characterizing misako as a terrible mom and instead hate dr julien for deadbeat and leaving echo in that damn lighthouse

[some-pers0n]

Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist