Fixer Upper
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader
Part 25
part 24
part 26
warning: smutty, handjob, Kurapika plays with Readers pussy, Reader gets injured by Kurapika, coma, SH(Kurapika doesn’t let himself eat or sleep after you get hurt), violence, reader kills someone and gets traumatized, vomiting
A/N: EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO BUG FOR HELPING SO MUCH WITH THIS CHAPTER!! A lot of the part where Killua tries to comfort reader was written by Bug!!
taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01
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(Name) woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing on her nightstand. She tried to move, but noticed Kurapika sleeping next to her, his arms wrapped around her and face buried in her chest.
The sight made her heart race and she would prefer to stay like this forever… but she couldn’t. “Pika, wake up. I’ve gotta answer my phone.”
He groaned a little, only nuzzling into her chest harder like a needy child, his arms tightening around her waist. “Five more minutes…”
She sighed, glancing at her phone before laying back down and planting a kiss on the top of his head. Sleep took her again, the world around her fading away, the only thing keeping her grounded was the feeling of Kurapika’s touch and warm breath against her cleavage.
An entire hour passed before she felt Kurapika stir next to her, his blonde hair tickling her chin. “Mmph…”
His leg rubbed against hers as he sat up, a soft pink on his cheeks from the warmth of being nestled between her breasts. Kurapika’s morning wood was evident in his pants, and he hadn’t even realized yet. “Good morning…”
As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, (Name) scooted closer, wrapping her arms around him. “Thanks for getting me to bed last night, my back would be killing me if you left me on the couch.”
Kurapika nodded, leaning into her touch. He was still sleepy, taking in her gentle affection happily. “No problem, angel…”
His eyes shot open when he felt her hand on his chest, her lips against his cheek. “Pika, look down.”
He did as told, his face flushing red when he noticed the tent in his pajama pants. Kurapika pulled the blanket up to his torso, embarrassment clear on his face. “I-I’m so sorry, it happens when I wake up sometimes-“
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s natural, I understand.”
He blushed when she began to tug the blanket back down, her eyes on the bulge in his pants. “Kurapika?”
His breath hitched in his throat, his voice coming out husky. “Y-yes?”
She placed her hand over his tummy, slowly trailing down. “Can I… touch you?”
He felt like he was going to explode, his cock leaking precum all over his boxers with just the thought of her touching him. “You… touch me?”
“Mhm.”
She rested her hand on his thigh, leaning against him. Fuck, he could cum from her being so close and just insinuating that. “Lemme help you feel good, Pika.”
He could only nod, kicking the blanket off of him so she could have better access to him. (Name) smiled, placing her hand over his bulge. Kurapika let out a gasp, already panting.
“Oh? Does that feel good?”
She played with the waistband of his pajama pants, leaving kisses on his neck. “Tell me what you want, Pika.”
He whined a little, his head feeling fuzzy. (Name) wanted to touch him, and god he was still processing that. “Please… please touch me…”
(Name) cooed softly, slipping her hand down his pants and into his boxers. When her fingers grazed his length, he let out a sharp gasp, bucking his hips in her hand. “Mmph, (Name)!”
She kissed his neck as her fingers wrapped around his length, gently stroking him. “Pika, you’re so hard… my poor baby~”
Kurapika bucked his hips into her hand, his face a deep red, his eyes scarlet. “(N-Name), fuck…”
He felt like his could cum already, but didn’t want to cum all over her hand within a minute of her jerking him off. Kurapika didn’t want her to think he was a pathetic mess!
He tried his best to hold back, gently fucking into her hand as she left love bites on his neck. Kurapika whimpered, moving closer to her, his eyes begging for some comfort and reassurance. She obliged him, using her free hand to grab his chin and kiss him.
He whined into her mouth, his tongue dancing with hers desperately. “Please… please!”
She cooed, moving her hand faster and brushing her thumb against his tip. “Shh, shh, you don’t want anyone to hear you begging like that, do you? Guess I’ll have to keep you quiet.”
She tapped her finger against his lip, and he opened his mouth immediately, sucking on her fingers to keep quiet. “That’s my good boy, you’re doing amazing, Kurapika.”
Her gentle praise was making his cock twitch in her hand. He was so close, and with some gentle sucking on his neck he was cumming. It was the most intense orgasm he’d ever had, his hips bucking out of control and soft moans leaving his lips. (Name) had to cover his mouth, continuing to stroke his cock to let him ride out his orgasm.
(Name) pulled her hand from his pants, looking at him as she began to lick his cum up. “Mm… you taste nice, Pika.”
He took a moment to recover, his head thrown back as he panted, his hips lightly bucking on their own. Whne he looked back at (Name) finally, his eyes were different, they were hungry.
“Pika, would you like a snack or a bath-“
Her attempts to offer aftercare were cut off by him pinning her to the bed, his lips crashing into hers. Kurapika used one hand to keep her wrists pinned above her head, and the other to tug her pants down, leaving them hanging around her thighs. “Fuck…”
She was wearing a pair of white cotton panties, a little wet patch growing in center. He nudged the patch with his finger, causing her to mewl. “Pikaa! P-please!”
He hummed, dipping back down to kiss her again, his tongue prodding against her lip. She opened her mouth, letting his tongue explore her mouth again as his fingers slipped into her panties. (Name) gasped into his mouth when his finger found her clit.
Kurapika had completely turned the tables on her, and she was at his mercy. He cooed down at her, moving to her neck to give her love bites of his own. “So pretty, angel…”
He could tell she was we getting close by the way she was lifting her hips into his hand, letting go of her wrists to grope her breasts through her shirt. “G-gonna cum, ahh!”
Fuck, his cock was growing hard again. He was making her feel good, he had her underneath him, squirming and moaning. This was everything he had imagined and more.
She came, holding onto his arm as she stared into his eyes, moaning out his name. “K-Kurapika! Pika! Pika!!”
He captured her lips again, slotting himself between her legs and grabbing the waistband of her panties. He didn’t care if being with her was bad, if he might leave one day, all he could think about right now was how much he loved her. Kurapika wanted to make love to her, bring her to the brink of pleasure and fill her up with his cum. He wanted to get her pregnant, wanted to hold her hand as he pounded into her dripping-
RING! RING!
Kurapika didn’t look up, continuing to kiss her and tug at her panties. (Name) opened her eyes, trying to turn her attention to her phone, but Kurapika turned her chin back towards him. “Ignore it, just focus on me.”
She whined into the kiss, gently pushing at his chest. “J-just a second, I need to check who’s calling.”
Kurapika scowled, but relented, letting her grab her phone. He sat back, trying to calm his racing heart as she glanced at the contact.
He noticed her face grow pale, and heard her curse under her breath. “Shit, sorry I have to take this.”
Kurapika’s frown only deepened, and he grabbed her wrist. “Is it really that important?”
She sighed, gently pulling away and walking out into the hallway as she tugged her pants back into place.
He watched, feeling his heart thump painfully against his chest, and his cock throb. Kurapika moved the hand he used to touch (Name) into his pants, using her juices to jerk off as she left to talk on the phone.
——————
“Chrollo, I told you not to call me when I’m home.”
She had walked outside, a cardigan hurriedly pulled on to keep her warm from the chilly morning air. The man on the other end laughed, and it only pissed her off.
“Oh, how unkind of you, (Name). And here I was, calling you to inform you that your target was in town.”
Her eyes widened, and she had to stop herself from yelling out. “H-he is?”
“Yeah, you can tell your little boyfriend now.”
(Name) looked down at the ground, remembering when Chrollo first told her the targets name.
FLASHBACK
(Name) placed the last bandage on Feitan, sighing softly. "Okay, you're good to go, Fei.
The dark haired man grunted in response, pushing himself off of the bed and walking out. ".. thanks."
She swiveled her head to see if he'd really thanked her, but he was gone. Instead of Feitan, Chrollo stood in the doorway, his usual suave smirk on his face. "I see you've finished up your duties, (Name)?
Chrollo leaned against the wall, watching her as she packed up. "Duties? What are you, a vampire from the Victorian era? I did my job, and now I'm leaving."
As she began to push past him, Chrollo spoke up.
"Leaving so soon? I thought you'd want to know where to find the next set of scarlet eyes."
She paused, glancing at him. "Just tell me, l'm not here to play games with you."
He laughed, handing her a slip of paper. "Here's the name of your next target."
Before (Name) could excitedly text Kurapika, Chrollo snatched her phone. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, (Name)."
"Hey, give me th-"
He handed her the phone back. "If you tell your little boyfriend the information now, he'll be on the next train to track this man down."
(Name) pouted, placing her phone in her back pocket. "No he wouldn't, we have plans for Halloween."
"Do you think he cares enough about your silly little plans to stick around when he could be completing his goals?"
She sighed. “I really regret venting to you."
Chrollo smiled. "Mhm, but am I wrong? What happened the last time he got a crumb of information?"
She looked away from him, clutching the fabric of her shirt. He took this as her acceptance of the situation and continued talking. "Besides, that man will be coming to your area in early November. It would be a shame for him to fly out to find the man, only to have to fly back to follow him."
Chrollo patted her shoulder. "You sure are patient, (Name). You're doing all of this for him. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly has he done to earn such loyalty from you?"
She didn't respond, walking past him and out of the room.
FLASHBACK END
“He’ll be in your town until this weekend. You should hurry and tell your little boyfriend.”
“He’s not-“
She was about to correct him, but then thought back to just a few minutes ago. Kurapika had been about to slip her panties off, getting ready to…
“Hmm? He’s not what?”
Chrollo seemed amused by your hesitance, but decided to cut you some slack. “Well, I assume you are busy, since it took me calling you several times for you to answer. Goodbye, (Name).”
He hung up without another word, leaving (Name) standing in her driveway, rethinking the events that led her to this.
‘What… what am I to Kurapika?’
———————
(Name) walked back into her room, shrugging off her cardigan and yelping when Kurapika grabbed her wrist and tugged her back into bed. He was on top of her within seconds, trying to pull off her shirt. “W-wait! We can’t, I have some news!”
“It can wait.”
He threw her shirt to the side, moving to unhook her bra next. “It’s about the scarlet eyes!”
Kurapika’s hands stopped, his fingers underneath the band of her bra. His eyes darted to hers, the scarlet slowly fading into the soft brown that she loved. “… you have new information on the eyes?”
She nodded, watching as he sat back up, moving off of her so she could pull her shirt back on. “Yeah, the person I just got off the phone with said a person with two pairs of the eyes is in town.”
The blonde sighed softly, the tent in his pajama pants still evident, but going down. “I see…”
He seemed a little shy now, glancing at her as he scooted to the edge of the bed. “We should… get ready then. Do you have their location?”
“Yes, they’re staying in a hotel uptown. We can sneak into their room and steal the eyes while they’re gone.”
Kurapika stood up, his cheeks a little pink. “Alright. I’ll meet you downstairs in 15 minutes.”
The two parted ways, (Name) going to take a shower, and Kurapika hiding away in his room to calm down his body and heart.
They met in the living room, both now dressed and calmed down. Things were a little awkward, but (Name) smiled and held onto his hand. “Okay, I told Leorio we’d be leaving. He’s a bit hungover but he’ll watch the kids.”
Kurapika squeezed her hand, his mind drifting back to their intimate moment earlier.
The drive uptown was mostly quiet, Kurapika keeping a possessive hand on her thigh. It was a subconscious act, something he wasn’t aware he was doing. “Kurapika…”
The blonde looked up, seeing (Name) glancing at him from the drivers seat. “I… Pika, what are we?”
Kurapika froze, his grip on her thigh tightening slightly. He didn’t answer, his head turning to stare at the window before he retracted his hand. “I don’t know what you mean.”
That was a lie, he knew exactly what she meant by that, but he didn’t have an answer.
She frowned. “I mean what is our relationship. Obviously we’re more than friends, for gods sake Kurapika, your hand was in my panties! I jerked you off!”
His face turned impossibly red. “I… I don’t want to talk about this.”
(Name) blinked in surprise. “Huh? Do you mean at all, or just not right now?”
“I don’t know!”
She flinched when he yelled, the blonde immediately regretting it. “(Name), I…”
“No, it’s alright. I… I understand.”
Kurapika looked back, his eyes widening when he saw the look of defeat on her face. She was gripping the steering will tight, as if trying to keep her tears from falling by sheer force alone. “It’s a okay, we… don’t have to… be anything. I’ll still…”
‘Does she… does she think that I’m trying to use her for sex?’
“(Name)… it’s not like that, I promi-“
“Please, stop. Don’t… let’s just focus on the mission.”
He stayed quiet, cursing himself for being so stupid. Kurapika promised himself that he’d try to clear things up later.
Unfortunately, the mission wouldn’t go smoothly enough for him to do such things.
——————
Kurapika and (Name) arrived at the hotel, posing as a couple renting a room. It was harder for her to play his partner this time, especially after their conversation on the way there.
The blonde seemed to notice this, trying his best to both give her space and play his part. Kurapika walked up to the counter to rent a room, letting (Name) wait in the lobby for him.
It was moments like these that made (Name) crave a relationship. She’d liked Kurapika since the Hunter Exam, and her fair share of fantasies about him. Some of them were sexual, but most were rooted in the desire to be with him.
She imagined holding his hand as they walked with their friends to look at Christmas lights, sharing kisses when no one was looking. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her he loved her too and would never leave her again.
God she didn’t want him to leave.
The thought of him only wanting her for sex made her feel awful, but if it meant he would never abandon her again, she would fulfill that role. These feelings, these thoughts weren’t healthy, but she didn’t know if she could take him leaving her. Not now, not after she’d fallen in love with him again.
‘I… I’m in love with him…’
Before, this thought would will her with butterflies and make her heart soar, but now it only filled her with dread. She cared about him, but Kurapika wasn’t someone that was easy to be in love with. He got himself into danger, he had severe anger issues and trauma that he held onto desperately. She didn’t even know if he wanted to heal, to settle down with her and find peace.
“(Name)? I got the room.”
He paused in front of her when he noticed tears falling down her face as she stared off into space. “Angel…”
He crouched down in front of her, cupping her cheeks and using his thumbs to brush her tears away. “What’s wrong, angel?”
(Name) blinked, seemingly snapping out her thoughts. “Huh? Kurapika?”
Kurapika stayed in front of her, his touch tender and gentle. “You… you were crying, (Name).”
“I was?”
She lifted her hand to touch her cheek, seeing that her finger was damp. “Oh… I guess I was.”
(Name) wiped her face and took a deep breath. “Never mind that, let’s get those eyes back.”
The two stepped into the elevator, (Name) glancing at her phone. “My informant said he’s on the 5th floor, room 301.”
Kurapika nodded and pressed the button for the 5th floor. The blonde attempted to start idle conversation a few times, but (Name) stayed quiet, her eyes focused on the ground.
“… it sure is cold outside, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
It was cold outside, but it was freezing in the elevator. (Name)’s warmth didn’t seem to reach him like it usually did.
The blonde cleared his throat, glancing at her. Even now, his mind was racing with the memories of their intimate moment earlier that day. They’d been so close to actually having sex, and now it seemed like the distance between them had grown so much that he wasn’t sure how to speak to her anymore.
‘I do want to be with her, but… I…’
Admitting that out loud was the hard part. Being with her, allowing himself to love her was an inherently selfish act. Just being in her life put her in danger, loving her, making her someone that was important to him could get her killed.
His thoughts were interrupted by the elevator doors opening, and before he had time to think (Name) was pulling him out by the hand. “Let’s get this over with.”
Kurapika followed her, and although he was still a little nervous, he couldn’t help but find comfort in the warmth of her hand.
——————
(Name) and Kurapika peeked around the corner, glancing at the room that held the scarlet eyes. “Okay, let’s think of a plan. I could sneak in through the-“
She turned to look at him, but he was already walking towards the room. “Kurapika!” she whisper yelled. (Name) was quick to follow after him, grabbing his sleeve when he stopped in front of the door.
He pulled his around away with a bit more force than necessary, breaking the handle off the door as he opened it. “We don’t have time for that, this is our only chance. The owner of the eyes could get back at any moment.”
She should have known he’d act like this, he always did when it came to the scarlet eyes. (Name) didn’t answer, only sighing. “I can’t see, where’s the light switch…”
She felt along the wall, finding the switch and flipping it. Light flooded the area, revealing a man sitting in the center of the room in a leather chair.
“Hello, ladies.”
(Name) screamed, jumping into Kurapika’s arms as the man calmly stood and stretched his leg. “… have you just been sitting here in the dark?”
“That doesn’t matter, why are you here?”
Kurapika held her close for a moment longer, almost as if he was trying to seek and give comfort before setting her on her feet. He kept a protective hold on her as he eyed the man, his gaze sharp and focused. “… we’re here for the scarlet eyes. Are you the owner of them?”
The man before him blinked, tilting his head towards the desk. On it set two pairs of the eyes on a stack of papers. “Oh, you talking about them paperweights? I thought you were here to take something important.”
Kurapika’s jaw clenched, (Name) having to grab his sleeve to prevent him from attacking.
“The boss bought those a while ago. Damn rich people, he thought it would show how well off he is to buy something so expensive just to use them as a paperweight.”
The man picked up a pair of the eyes, turning it around for a moment. “Tell you what, the boss barely even remembers he has these. I’ll give them to you, for a price.”
This is the outcome Kurapika had been hoping for. The blonde opened his satchel and showed the man it’s contents. It was stuffed full of money, enough to leave the man well off. “Is this enough?”
The man rubbed his hands together, laughing. “Oh yeah, that’s plenty. Come on, I’ll hand you the eyes, you hand me the money.”
Kurapika nodded, waiting for the man to pick up all of the eyes before he approached him.
The blonde paused for a second as he made eye contact with one of the pairs. (Name) could sense a shift in his mood, his heart thumping wildly, loud enough for her to hear. She caught him staring into the scarlet eyes. ‘Is that pair… special?’
It made her even more determined to help him tiger the pair, and she gently nudged Kurapika forward. He gave her an appreciative smile for her support before continuing on his way.
“Honestly, I’m glad to be rid of the nasty things. The boss brings them almost everywhere, they’re freaky looking. I bet whoever they belonged to were monsters.”
(Name) winced, knowing what was coming. It all happened so fast. First, Kurapika’s eyes turned a deep scarlet, but it seemed he was unaware of it. They hadn’t planned on seeing anyone, so he’d forgotten to put in his contacts.
The man’s face dropped, his eyes widening in fear as Kurapika moved to attack, the man doing the same. By doing this, he let the eyes fall from his grip.
(Name) rushed forward, barely making it in time to catch the eyes and roll out of the way as their battle began. The man attacked Kurapika with his nen, making the blonde jump back. Kurapika spared a glance in (Name)’s direction to make sure she and the eyes were okay before he summoned his chains.
She set the eyes in a safe position before readying herself to fight. Before she could move forward, Kurapika yelled out. “Don’t come closer, stay back!”
(Name) huffed, standing guard in front of the eyes as the two battled it out.
“How dare you call them monsters! They were murdered in cold blood blood, their eyes ripped from their skulls! They did this to everyone, to children!”
(Name)’s heart ached for him. His voice was cracking, his eyes filling with angry tears.
“Kurapika…”
She tried to move forward to comfort him, but he pushed her back. “I said STAY BACK!”
She went flying, her arm catching on the sharp end of a table. It ripped through her sleeve, leaving a gash on her upper arm. Blood dripped onto the floor, the smell causing Kurapika to freeze.
This small moment was enough for the man to get the upper hand, kicking Kurapika in the chest as the blonde dealt his own punch to the man’s face. They were both sent sprawling to the floor, (Name) rushing over to kneel at Kurapika’s side.
“F-fuck, I heard something crack.”
Kurapika’s breathing was uneven, his hand tenderly running across his chest. “Kurapika, shit, I think he broke a few ribs!”
She activated her nen, holding her hands over his chest to begin healing him. “This is going to take a lot of stamina to heal, we’ll have to get the eyes and-“
“No, no we have to take him down!”
(Name) stared down at the blonde, feeling him try to sit up. “Kurapika, what the hell are you thinking? Let’s just retreat while we still c-“
“HE CALLED MY PEOPLE MONSTERS, (NAME)!”
She flinched, recoiling slightly. Kurapika sat up, coughing up blood. “I’m activating emperors time. Just get the fuck out of my way!”
“No!”
Kurapika paused, whipping his head around to glare at her. “No? What else can we do? He needs to die, I can’t-“
She pushed him back into his back, continuing to heal him. “Just give me a damn second! There… there is one thing I can do, and… and I’ll do it if you stay still and let me heal you, but-“
“Then do it! Do it now!”
The man was approaching them, his cheek and eye swollen. As he reached out to try and attack (Name), she grabbed his wrist, concentrating her nen there.
Kurapika watched as the man writhed in agony, the flesh on his arm turning purple, then black as it rotted away before turning into dust. It spread up to his shoulder before stopping, the man screaming and falling to the floor, tears falling down his face as he writhed.
Kurapika sighed, leaning back to relax. The man wasn’t a threat like that. “Ah, nice job (Name). You really-“
He looked up to see her lip bleeding as she bit into it, her face scrunched up. Kurapika could still feel her nen coursing through his body to mend his broken ribs. As soon as he was healed, she let out a scream, falling to the ground and writhing in pain.
“(NAME)!?”
Her eyes were squeezed shut as she wailed, her back arching. (Name) began to tremble, her body twisting in agony.
“(Name)! Please, what’s wrong? I-“
The sound of multiple sets of footsteps running down the fall made him pause.
“Hey, I think someone broke into the boss’ room!”
“Call back up!”
Kurapika cursed under his breath. “(Name), we have to get out of here! I’ll grab the eyes, and…”
She wasn’t answering, still sobbing as she clawed at the ground, her fingernails breaking and bleeding. When she couldn’t do that, she grasped her arms, her nails puncturing her skin, her chest heaving. “No! No stop!”
He pinned her arms down, using his chains to restrain her. Kurapika felt his chest tighten, his eyes darting to the hallway. (Name) couldn’t move in this state, how would he be able to get her and the eyes?
‘I… I can only take one…’
He glanced between her and the eyes, cursing to himself. Kurapika knew what he would pick, his eyes filling with tears.
He exited through the window, leaving something precious behind.
——————
The underground room’s lighting was dim, the air smelling musty and damp. (Name) was wearing her work uniform, glancing to the doorway before turning her attention to the creature in front of her.
“You’re not getting past me. I have a baby to protect,” she said cooly, letting her nen surge around her. The creatures claws glinted into the low light, it’s form being revealed to her.
It was mantis like, but colorful and pink, almost like… a flower. As it crept closer, (Name) could hear it muttering something. She felt her eyes go wide, terror overtaking her heart.
“No… no it can’t be!”
Sun filtered in through the window, shining down on (Name)’s sleeping face. She grunted in discomfort, her eyes shooting open.
(Name) panted softly, the nightmare still fresh in her mind. Right after the Chimera Ant incident, she had frequent nightmares about what went down in that underground room. Although the nightmares became less with time, they came back when she experienced severe stress.
That’s when the memories of the event came back. She attempted to sit up, but couldn’t. (Name) glanced around the room, calming down slightly when she realized she was in a hospital room. To her left there was a bouquet of flowers on a table, along with a basket of her favorite snacks and toiletries.
She smiled, knowing that Leorio had to have been the one that got it for her. Who else knew that she had a love for (snack)?
When she looked to the right, her eyes widened slightly. Sitting in a chair next to her bed, leaning over to look at her was Kurapika. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was an absolute mess.
When he saw she was awake, his breath hitched, eyes filling with tears. “Y-you’re awake!”
He squeezed her hand, lifting it to his cheek so he could fully feel her warmth. The past few days, she’d been cold, much too cold. Now, she was warm, her pretty (e/c) eyes looking at him in concern.
“K… Kura…”
Her throat was hoarse, and she was struggling to speak. Kurapika jumped in his seat, s quickly walking over to a small mini fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. “Here, you’ve been out for several… several days.”
He lifted her head, letting her sip slowly. The water helped to soothe her parched throat. Kurapika’s hand was a little shaky, so some water dribbled down her chin, making her shiver as it slipped under her shirt.
He pulled the bottle back, capping it before setting her head back onto the pillow. She blinked slowly, still adjusting to the bright light of the room.
“The… the eyes… did…”
Kurapika was silent, his foot tapping against the floor as she spoke. “… you passed out, and I had to carry you so no, I couldn’t get the scarlet eyes.”
There was a hint of resentment lacing his words, and she couldn’t help but feel bad. Although she’d been trying to help him, she still ended up being the reason he couldn’t recover the eyes.
“I left the eyes behind because… of you.”
‘It’s your fault.’
The words went unspoken, but (Name) knew what he meant. Kurapika’s face was pained, and she could remember the look of agony in his eyes when they met with one of the pairs of scarlet eyes. There had been something special about that pair, and she could tell he was upset.
“Now… now we won’t be able to get the eyes. They’ll be on high alert, making infiltration next to impossible.”
Kurapika put his head in his hands, letting out a sigh of frustration. (Name) looked away, gripping the hospital blanket keeping her warm.
“Why… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me about the condition you placed on your nen?!”
She flinched when he yelled at her, her lip quivering. “I-I tried to tell you when-“
“(Name), you should have told me way before we were in a life threatening mission! Jesus Christ, you could have died!”
(Name) stared at her blanket, sighing. “… and?”
Kurapika blinked, absolutely flabbergasted at her nonchalant attitude. “And..? (Name), you-“
“Why are you mad at me? Why didn’t you get the eyes?”
“Because I would have had to leave you!”
“See, that’s the part I’m not getting. Didn’t you say that if my death benefited your mission, you would let me die? You should have just left me behind…”
Kurapika stared at her, as if thinking her words over. ‘She’s not wrong, I did say that. And… and I meant it… didn’t I?’
When he was choosing between her and the eyes, the thought of leaving her alone to be captured or killed made his heart ache and his body tremble. It only took him a split second to decide. He couldn’t live without her.
And that was bad.
Part of him wanted so badly to console her, to let her now exactly how much she meant to him. But another part told him that letting himself love her, allowing her to help him and be close to him was only hurting her. So instead of giving sweet words and reassuring touches, Kurapika stood up and brushed off his pants.
“… I’m going back to the house. You’re awake now, I’ll alert a nurse on my way out. I’ll be back to pick you up in a few days.”
She watched him walk towards the door, sitting up slightly. “You’re leaving..?”
He paused in the doorway, not looking back. “… yes. Just lie back down and sleep.”
(Name)’s lip trembled and her eyes watered up as the door closed behind Kurapika. She was all alone in a hospital room, her only company the bouquet of flowers someone had left her.
———————
(Name) sat in her hospital room, munching on sugar free pudding. It tasted meh, but she was hungry.
It had been nearly two days since Kurapika left, and besides a few phone calls with Killua, she hadn’t had any company.
“I’m sorry I can’t come to see you, mom.” Killua said into the phone, his voice soft. (Name) laughed, trying to sound unbothered.
“It’s okay baby, I know going into hospitals is hard for you. Especially after…”
They both went silent, (Name) fiddling with the blanket. “… anyways, I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to take a nap before my X-ray.”
“Okay mom, I love you!”
“I love you too, baby.”
She sighed, placing her phone back on the charger. (Name) wondered who brought her charger there for her. Maybe Leorio?
A nurse knocked on the door, opening it shortly after. “Miss (Last Name)?”
(Name) looked up. “Yes?”
“You have a visitor!”
She felt her eyes widen, her heart fill with hope. She’d been so alone for the past two days, maybe Leorio or Kurapika had come to keep her company!
“Hello, (Name).”
Her face fell, a sigh escaping her lips. “… hello, Pariston.”
The man smiled, slipping into the room. He held a small planter filled with poppies, setting it next to the bouquet. (Name) found out that boquet was from Alluka earlier that day during her call with Killua, and she felt a little strange seeing a “gift” from Pariston next to it.
“What do you want?”
Pariston gave a fake pout, sitting in the chair next to her bed. “What do I want? How rude, I came here to make sure you were alright! I even brought your favorite flowers!”
(Name) huffed, bringing her cover up to her chest. “You never come to see me without a reason, and you don’t give people gifts. There’s always a catch.”
Pariston grinned that creepy grin of his, leaning his face against his hand. “Ahh, you’re not easy to fool, are you (Name)? I think you know why I’m here.”
She nodded, glancing down at her arm. It was bandaged, but her wounds were almost completely healed. “Were you the person that sent the Enhancer to speed up my healing? I thought I told you not to tell anyone I can’t heal myself anymore!”
Pariston paused, his smile fading. “Enhancer? No, I didn’t send anyone. That’s…” he thought for a moment, then laughed. “I think I know who did it though.”
“Tell me!”
“Nope~ if they didn’t tell you already, they don’t want you to know.”
The man smiled, his expression becoming more neutral. “Back on topic, you know why I’m here. You used your ability again.”
Her grip tightened on her blanket. “I did, and as you can see, the condition still works. If I use my ability against someone and it causes them pain, I experience that pain tenfold.”
Pariston nodded. “Yeah, I see that it works. You still used your ability though, and as you know, that goes against your orders.”
She huffed, crossing her arms. “You aren’t the Chairman anymore, so that order is null and void.”
“It is, but Chairwoman Cheadle is going to be contacting you within an hour to reinstate that order.”
“And if I don’t agree to it?”
They stared at each other for a moment, before Pariston glanced at the poppies he brought. “You would do best to follow orders, if you value the friends you have left.”
(Name)’s eyes widened, the area around her buzzing with her nen. “… are you threatening me?”
Pariston, who had stepped out of her range smiled, heading towards the door. “You know I’m not above using threats to get what I want. Just agree to Chairwoman Cheadle’s proposal, and everything will be okay.”
And with that, he was gone. (Name) was left trembling and struggling to control her nen. As he said, Cheadle called her within an hour to make the new order.
And with her friends’ lives on the line, how could she refuse?
——————
On her third day awake at the hospital, (Name) got a phone call from Leorio. “Hey sunshine, make sure you get packed up because Kurapika and Killua will be coming tonight to pick you up.”
She sighed in relief. (Name) was on her last pair of clean panties, and was glad she’d get to go home and see her friends again.
And so she could enact her plan. “Okay, thanks for the heads up Leorio! I’ll make sure I’m all packed up!”
(Name) sighed, hanging up after a short goodbye and glancing at her phone.
‘It’s moving again…’
She sighed softly, thinking back to their failed mission. While Kurapika and the man had been busy fighting, she put a tracker on one set of the eyes, knowing that something could go awry when Kurapika’s anger entered to picture.
(Name) moved about her room, packing up her clothes and carrying her flowers and basket downstairs when she got a text from Killua saying they were on their way.
It was nearly dark as (Name) stepped out into the cold autumn evening. She watched the sunset as she waited, shivering. She wasn’t sure who packed her overnight bag, but not a single thing besides her zip up hoodie was appropriate for the weather.
She sighed in relief when the mom van pulled up to the hospital, but raised her eyebrow when it nearly crashed into a column then parked crookedly. ‘Is Kurapika drunk?’
She carried her things to the van, stopping when the drivers door opened. (Name) nearly dropped her things when Killua stepped out of the drivers side. “K-Killua? Why are you driving the van? Did Kurapika leave?”
“No, he’s at home. He didn’t leave, I left him.”
(Name) blinked, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. It was Kurapika.
She answered her phone. “Hello!”
“Killua isn’t answering his phone, he took off in the van!”
“I’m well aware. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”
She hung up before he could continue. Killua was about to laugh, but she gave him a look that shut him up. “Killua, you shouldn’t worry Kurapika like that. It’s not nice.”
The white haired boy shrunk under her gaze, his shoe kicking at a rock. “Sorry, mom… I just… I just didn’t like that… you were here all alone, and wanted to come get you so we could… spend some time together….”
Her expression softened as she reaches out to gently cup his cheeks. His eyes widened, his cheeks turning pink as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you. I… I have something I have to do before we can spend time together though.”
Killua tilted his head, watching her pull out her phone and turn it towards him. “I placed a tracker on one of the pairs of the scarlet eyes.”
Killua laughed, grinning. “Mom, you’re badass!”
She smiled back, grabbing the keys from him. “Let’s get going, Killua. I’ve got some eyes to steal.”
——————
Kurapika cursed, dropping his phone onto his bed. His foot tapped at the floor in agitation as he thought back over his last interaction with (Name). He’d left her all alone at the hospital, and just the thought of it made his chest ache.
He rubbed at his eyes, a soft sigh leaving his lips. ‘I had to leave, I… I was so tired and angry, I… I didn’t want to snap… at her…’
Unbeknownst to (Name), the blonde had stayed awake for nearly four days watching over her. He was filled with anxiety and dread, guilt eating him alive. Kurapika wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep until he knew she was okay. It was his fault this ever happened to her after all, and if he’d just listened to her explanation maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
It was almost a form of self harm, restricting his food and sleep to make up for hurting her. The gash on her arm made him want to vomit, he promised himself he’d never hurt her again, and here she was. In a hospital bed, all because of him.
But by the time she woke up, he’d overthought the situation into the dirt, his mind exhausted. He wanted to blame her, the mean and nasty side of his coming out. Before he could take out his anger and pain on her, he left. It broke his heart when she asked if he was leaving.
‘Why… why am I so agitated about not getting that specific set of scarlet eyes?’
It’s not like he hadn’t failed missions before. He lost several pairs over the two years they’d been apart, but he would usually be able to recover them. This time he didn’t know if it was possible, so it pissed him off even further.
In his heart he knew she wasn’t at fault, after all without her he wouldn’t have even been able to TRY to get the pair in the first place. He couldn’t help but almost resent her though, for being so important to him. The thought of leaving her behind made him heave, his heart ache and his body freeze.
This was what he feared, falling in love with her and being unable to live without her. That attachment was a hindrance to his mission, and he wanted to hate her for it.
But he just couldn’t.
Thinking of her, her pretty face when she slept so soundly those four days made his heart race. He could go without food, without sleep if it meant he could look at her for forever. Leorio begged him to take a break, to come home so he could rest. Kurapika said no every time, clinging to her hand.
“No, no I’m not leaving her. She’s mine, back off.”
If only he could say those kinds of things here (Name) was awake.
He cursed himself for being a coward, laying back into his bed and looking up at the ceiling. There were little glowing stars stuck up there. He could faintly remember mentioning to (Name) that staring at the stars helped him sleep when he missed home. He had fallen asleep under the starry night sky with Pairo next to him more times than he could count.
It was comforting, really. Not the stars, no, it was the fact that name hung them up there to make him feel more at home that made his heart melt in his chest. She truly was the epitome of kindness and love.
Kurapika knew he didn’t deserve her, she’d probably live a much better life with someone like Leorio or hell, even some of the other hunters like Kite or Knuckle.
But he was selfish. The thought of another man touching her, loving her made his eyes flare with a bright scarlet. He hated this possessive part of himself. In his mind, he knew it was better to let her go and distance himself as much as possible for her safety and happiness.
However, his heart was sitting in the palm of her hand. He wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. Not voluntarily.
———————
(Name) drove around town, following the tracker as Killua yelled out directions. “Turn left!”
Eventually, the tracker was blinking in the same spot, and had been for the past five minutes. (Name) parked the mom van at a random gas station a short distance away before getting out.
When Killua began to follow her, she turned quickly. “Baby, no. I’m going in alone, you can’t come with me.”
Killua frowned, crossing his arms. “Why? Are you babying me, mom? I’m an assassin, I have much more experience in this type of thing than-“
“But you shouldn’t!”
Killua paused, his eyes widening slightly. “Mom…”
Her eyes were a little teary, her lip quivering. “You shouldn’t be used to killing, Killua, and when you’re with me, that will never be your burden to bear.”
She hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll be back within an hour, then we’ll go get burgers. That sound good, bud?”
He nodded slowly, burying his face into her shoulder. “Yeah…”
After giving him another tight squeeze, she left, the smile on her face dropping as soon as she turned around.
(Name) shivered from the cold, glancing down at her phone to follow the tracker. It seemed it was stopped at a restaurant, a Waffle House to be specific. Was the owner of the eyes… eating at Waffle House? Why would be bring the eyes with him?
‘He’s probably all packed up to go home.’
That explanation made sense, and (Name) picked up the pace. When she got there, she followed the tracker to a black Mercedes parked in the back. She could have just used her nen to disintegrate the back of the car and take the eyes, but (Name) wanted to confront the man.
People that contributed to Kurapika’s agony needed to be dealt with. His trauma was so intense he couldn’t trust people, he couldn’t even trust her. If she was being honest, this was a good opportunity to let out all of the frustration and anger she’d been keeping inside of her.
The man walked out of the back door. He was short and stout, carrying a takeout back and talking with someone over the phone. (Name) stood by his car, silent.
The man noticed her, but seemed to not acknowledge her as a threat. He pocketed his phone, setting his takeout bag on the sidewalk. “You homeless? I ain’t got nothing for you, be on your way.”
He shooed at her, but (Name) didn’t budge. She looked up, the good of her jacket covering everything but the bottom half of her face. “You have a pair of the scarlet eyes, yes?”
The man suddenly seemed a lot less smug, reaching for his phone. (Name) rushed forward, covering his mouth and taking his phone. “Don’t. Scream, and I’ll kill you.”
She waited for him to stop struggling before she pulled her hand from his mouth. “Answer.”
“I-I do, but you can have them! Just don’t hurt me!”
(Name) stayed quiet, as the man unlocked his car and offered the eyes to her. She nearly threw up at the state of Kurapika’s family.
The containers were tipped over, the glass covered in filth. She look them into her arms, holding them tight as she gave the man a disgusted look. “You know these are the body parts of people that were once alive, right? How dare you treat them with such disregard!”
Her eyes widened at the sight of a gun in the man’s hand. She had felt it on him when she searched him a minute before, so he must of had it hidden in his car. She was too busy being disgusted over the state he kept Kurapika’s family in to keep track of him.
“Who cares, they’re dead and gone. I heard those filthy Kurtas were involved in witchcraft, that’s how they got those demonic red eyes.”
The man grinned down at her, pressing the gun into the back of her head. “That doesn’t matter, though. You’ll be joining them soon. Hell, I’ll take your eyes too. They’re a nice (e/c) color.”
As he clicked the safety off, (Name) looked into the scarlet eyes. False rumors and discrimination against anything that was different from the norm was the reason Kurapika’s family was dead, that and the human nature to take what they wanted no matter the consequences.
Before she met Kurapika, (Name) had heard the rumors of the Kurta Clan being demonic and evil, getting their red eyes from eating human flesh or killing innocents. The story was different every time she heard it, so she stopped believing in it. She remembered how people treated her differently because of how she looked and parts of her body and identity she couldn’t change. It was the reason she felt no fear when Kurapika’s eyes first turned scarlet.
She knew how kind Kurapika was, and heard the stories of his people and family. They were good, kind people, and they didn’t bother anyone. Despite hiding away from the outside world, they were still targeted and massacred. They couldn’t even live freely alone, they had to be taken out. She wasn’t sure if it was because of greed or if people were scared of them. Both reasons were stupid to (Name).
Within a flash, the gun was knocked out of the man’s hand and (Name) was on top of him, slamming her fists into his face. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!”
Tears fell down her face, not of sadness, but of absolute anger. “You didn’t know them, they were people, people who loved their families and wanted to be safe and happy, just like everyone else!”
She wasn’t going to use her nen. It wasn’t even because of the order given to her by Cheadle and Pariston. No, she wanted to draw this out. This man was one of the reasons for Kurapika’s pain, he treated the bodies of the dead as if they were items to collect, items to show off to other people as if they were a prize.
Whenever Kurapika showed up at her apartment in York New, it’s when she became determined to gather the scarlet eyes to help him find peace. The way he cried and sobbed into her shirt like a child until he passed out from exhaustion chilled her to the bone.
She had seen the result of Kurapika’s nightmares, heard the gut wrenching screams of despair. She couldn’t let a person who disregarded that pain live.
She stood up, bringing her foot down onto his crotch. “You don’t deserve to live, you use your money to get what you want, you kill and order others to kill for you without any guilt!”
The man screamed in agony, but he was soon silenced when her sneaker came down on his face. Something came over her, she stomped on his face over and over, blood spraying on the sidewalk and splashing onto her face and clothes.
She kept going, even after there was nothing left of his head but mush. (Name) probably would have never stopped, but someone gently pulled her back, far enough away so that she couldn’t continue her actions.
“Mom… he’s dead.”
Killua had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back more. She didn’t answer Killua, didn’t say a single word.
Many didn’t know this, but when he was nervous, Killua would prattle on and on. “Hey, that guy sucked. It’s good your first kill was someone that deserved ut, I wasn’t as lucky!”
He doesn’t seem to notice the way she stared at the corpse, eyes blank. “You know, for an amateur, that wasn’t half bad. You got a little sloppy at the end though. If you want it end then fast, there’s a soft spot on the skull. Going for the neck just paralyzes them. Unless you wanted to drag it out in which case, not bad.”
Once he noticed she was speaking, just staring blankly at the man she just killed, Killua went quiet for a moment. He grabbed her sleeve, pulling her away. “It’s… it’s not good to think too much about it.”
She finally looks up when crouches next to the body, using two fingers to lift the man’s sleeve. “What should we do with the body? Want me to toss his body in the lake so we can be accountable together?”
It was his attempt at a joke, trying to get his mom to laugh instead of stare blankly at the corpse below her.
“Don’t bother. Scum like him deserves to rot out in the open. Let the birds pick him clean.”
With that, he realized that killing that man has actually fucked her up. Something that completely altered her brain chemistry is just a normal Tuesday night for him.
It made his chest ache a little, but he sighed before looking down at the body, shrugging and standing up. “Alright, it’s your kill. Your rules.”
The two walked towards the van, each carrying a set of the eyes. “They’re… heavier than you’d think.” Killua said, trying to lighten the mood again.
Maybe it was the actual weight of them, or the knowledge that these eyes belonged to someone Kurapika knew and loved. Even Killua could understand the importance of these eyes, he had seen the exact same shade in Kurapika’s eyes.
After finally reaching the van, (Name) spoke for the first time since taking the man’s life.
“Sorry you had to witness that…”
Killua perked up immediately, feeling a strange since of relief that she was finally speaking.
“You got a little messy at the end if I’m being honest. But that first move was pretty smooth, and I’ve seen more red splatters in my Uber Eats bag after ordering tomato soup. If that was you, I’d give you at least 4 stars and a 20% tip.”
She froze, setting the pair of eyes in the van before throwing up onto the pavement. Killua jumped, setting eyes in the car before rushing over to hold her hair back. “Shit!”
He had been trying to help, but Killua feared he may have just ruined tomato soup for her for the foreseeable future. After she finally stopped, she coughed, shivering in the cold and looking up at him weakly.
“I’m sorry hun, I-“
“Stop apologizing already. You’ve looked after me for years, let me look after you for once. You said yourself it’s okay to need help sometimes.”
Killua left for a second, returning with some crumpled napkins she kept in the car. He wiped her mouth, then tossed the dirty napkin onto the ground. (Name) was too exhausted to scold him for littering, allowing him to help her to her feet.
She stumbled her way to the backseat, shrugging off her jacket and using it to gently wipe away any blood or filth from the cases holding the scarlet eyes.
She sighed softly. “Killua… baby…”
He looks up, seeing her taking the keys from her pocket. “Do you know the way home?”
He’s allowed to drive? Sure, he practiced before without her knowledge (or at least he thought- plus there was that time Leorio let him do donuts in the mall parking lot at night last month) but she was allowing him to drive the mom van? Even if he was going to be legally old enough for a drivers license next year anyway, it still didn’t feel real.
He just wished it was under better circumstances. Killua took the keys, nodding slowly. “Yeah, yeah I know the way.”
Killua couldn’t even be excited about getting to drive the car, because (Name)’s hand were trembling and she looked like she was going to throw up again. “I’m trusting you, Killua…”
Her trust was supposed to feel good, but right now it almost felt like a burden. Heavy. Killua took a deep breath, deciding to think of something else. He had a job to do, he needed to get his mom home. (Name) trusted him to do it.
He glanced at her, his eyebrow raising slightly at the sight of her using her jacket to cover the eyes.
“You aren’t gonna keep your jacket on? It’s 40°.”
He heard her mutter something something respect for the dead before wrapping the eyes in her blood stained jacket and holding them close to her. Once upon a time, these eyes were alive. It wouldn’t feel right to treat them as anything less than human.
(Name) curled up in the passenger seat, holding the eyes in a protective grip as her eyes stared out the window. It had began to rain, and Killua’s hand was shaking as he started the engine.
“You’re going to be freezing.”
“Turn the heat on.”
“But-“
“Killua, dead or alive this was still a person. They deserve to be able to rest comfortably.” This was the most she had spoken the whole ride home. Killua sighs.
“…okay. I’ll have to wait until a red light though, I don’t feel comfortable searching the dashboard while I’m in motion,” she hummed in acknowledgment, shivering as she held the eyes closer to her.
“We should get you a cupcake to celebrate your first kill, it was gnarly! His whole head was like a watermelon and you were all bam! POW! POP! you know?”
“…”
“Oh shit, I mean, wanna get burgers? It’s two dollar Tuesday.”
After a few minutes of silence, Killua spoke up again.
“… want me to kill the next one so we can be even?”
“No, no that’s okay. Let’s go get burgers now.”
———————
When he pulled in for burgers, it was like trying to re-establish some sense of normalcy. Like gathering the energy to brush your teeth when your best friend just died. Trying to find comfort in the mundane.
He ordered them food, even something for Kurapika, and a hint of a smile appeared on her face. “You remembered my order…”
“Of course I did, you always get the same thing! A little boring but oh well.”
Killua tapped away at the steering wheel nervously. He kept saying things randomly, blurting out things that made her nauseous or upset. He hated that he felt the need to fill the silence left between the two. It was instinctual, because when he was a child, silence either meant you were in trouble or you were about to be scolded.
And his family’s version of scolding was violent.
He knew she wasn’t in any state to cook, so grabbing burgers was their best bet. Though, Killua wasn’t sure she’d even be able to eat.
Killua sighed, and hopped out of the van. He came back a few minutes later with Kurapika running at his heels, scrambling to open the door. (Name) almost fell forward from the sheer velocity he tore it open, holding onto the eyes for dear life in case she she tumbling out. Thankfully, Killua had enough sense to push her back a little, noticing how cold she was to the touch.
Kurapika noticed her hands were covered in blood. She didn’t want to get blood on his clan’s eyes, and he knew despite never having met you, if his relatives were still around to see the gesture today, they’d be touched. Always putting everyone else’s comfort ahead of her own.
“These… they’re the… they’re the eyes I left behind.”
He pushed the hood out of the to the side just bough to read the inscription on the top for a confirmation. It’s the same number as the one the two missed last week. As sickening as it was that they numbered each of them like a rare commodity, it soothed him a little knowing he wouldn’t be stuck wondering what happened to that specific pair, especially considering how connected he felt to the pair on the left.
Without another word, he took the eyes and walked inside. Killua watched, figuring he would thank her once he put the eyes somewhere safe.
The white haired boy helped (Name) inside, sitting her on the couch. She stared at the floor, still shivering from the cold. At least, Killua hoped it was from the cold.
He waited 10 minutes for Kurapika to come out and say something, anything to (Name). She just killed someone, put herself through trauma for him.
Eventually, Killua stormed towards Kurapika’s room, throwing the door open to see the blonde sitting on the bed and staring at one of the pairs, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Killua couldn’t care less about Kurapika right now, his mother, the woman that took him in and kept him safe when no one else would was in a state of agony, trying to process the knowledge that she just ended a human’s life.
“What the fuck are you doing? Do you realize what (Name) just did to get those eyes for you?”
Kurapika looked up, wiping at his face. “She… what did she do? She’s not hurt, is she?”
Killua scoffed. “You didn’t even bother to check if she was hurt? Jesus Christ Kurapika get your priorities straight! Those eyes aren’t alive anymore, they can wait 5 god damn minutes so you can make sure the woman you supposedly “love” is okay!”
Kurapika’s eyes flashed red, his fist clenching. “Don’t act like you understand me, Killua. These eyes-“
“Shut up! Shut up and go do something to comfort her! Can’t you understand she did this all for you, that she killed for you!?”
Kurapika’s heart nearly stopped, his eyes going wide as they faded back to their soft brown color. “… kill?”
Killua nodded, his hands clenched into fists. “Yeah, and it really fucked her up! She… she stared at the corpse, and threw up on the way home…”
Kurapika moved past Killua, running down the stairs. The throw blanket that Killua had covered (Name) with lied in the middle of the floor, and he could hear the sink running.
“(Name)..?”
She was in the kitchen, bent over the sink washing a glass cup and staring into it listlessly. It was clean, and he watched her for a moment before walking closer.
He took the cup from her gently, his eyes widening when he saw the state of her hands.
Her knuckles were split and bruised and her hands were trembling. She was in pain, but it didn’t show on her face.
Kurapika almost wanted her to be angry that he didn’t immediately check on her. Anything was better than seeing the vibrant woman he fell in love with look so… empty.
He watched as she continued the washing motions, even though the cup was gone.
“(Name)…”
Tears fell down his cheeks as he gently held her hands in his, pulling him to her chest as he held her close to him. “Please… you… you didn’t have to do that for me. Why… why do you keep putting yourself in danger to help me when you get nothing in return? I… I don’t understand…”
(Name) was quiet for a moment, her eyes still fixated on the same spot in the sink. “… I love you, Kurapika. That’s… why…”
(Name) had told Kurapika she loved him several times, but this time it felt different. Her love weighed heavy on his chest, a testament of how far she would go to try and lift his burdens off his shoulders.
Leorio had been right, she was in love with him.
“No… no! No don’t love me! You… you can’t love me!”
He shook her, full on sobbing now. “Please… can’t you see loving me is only hurting you? I’m on a path that no one should follow me on, especially you! You’re…”
‘You’re too important.’
She finally looked up to meet his eyes. “I know. I’m useless, I’m too weak and I’ll never be enough for you… that’s what you wanted to say in the car on our way to get the eyes last week, isn’t it? You wanted to say you didn’t… feel the same way I did…”
He wanted to deny what she was saying, to ease the absolute agony in her eyes, but he couldn’t speak. Kurapika was choking up, his hands gripping her shoulders so tightly he knew that there would be bruises there later. Neither seemed to care.
“Kurapika…”
She pushed his hands away, walking towards the stairs. “My… my heart… this entire weak, it felt like it was breaking. I love you so much, I really… I really thought there might be a day where we could be together…”
(Name) thought about every instance where he abandoned her, berated her, left her to chase after the Phantom Troupe or scarlet eyes. Him not even checking up on her after she walked in, covered in blood and barely hanging on had been the breaking point.
“I’ve always known I could never be the most important thing in your life…”
She looked back at him, tears finally falling from her blank eyes. “But I at least thought that I was something to you. Guess not.”
Kurapika watched as she walked upstairs, his eyes wide with terror. Before he could chase after her, Killua grabbed his arm, shaking his head. “No, leave her be. She needs some time to be alone.”
The blonde’s face was still a mess, tears rolling down his cheeks. Killua wasn’t the best at comforting others, especially when he didn’t like them all that much.
But (Name) loved Kurapika, so Killua walked over to the takeout bag and handed the blonde a burger. “Here, we picked up dinner on the way home,” he said softly, looking away.
Kurapika stared down at it, feeling his heart thump painfully against his chest. Even when she was at her worst, (Name) made sure that they would all be fed.
‘I’m so fucking selfish.’
—————————
(Name) fell into a restless sleep once she fell into her bed. She was emotionally and physically exhausted, and hadn’t even bothered to take off her bloody clothing.
She tossed and turned, finally able to sleep somewhat decently a little past midnight.
(Name) hadn’t been expecting to have anything but nightmares that night, but instead of the images of the man she murdered flashing in her mind, she felt… peaceful.
A field of poppies stretched around her as far as she could see. When she looked around, she noticed she was sitting at a bench, an empty teacup in her hands.
“You’ll catch a cold, dear.”
A jacket was draped over her shoulders. (Name) hadn’t noticed before, but the air was chilly, and she was shivering. “Th-thank you…”
Warmth spread through her body, and she could feel someone sitting beside her, their leg touching hers. “You’ve had a long week, haven’t you?”
The voice was soft and feminine, a hint of concern lacing her words. A hand was placed on her leg, the person’s touch gentle, yet firm. She noticed she couldn’t turn her head to look at the person next to her, but that didn’t scare or concern her. (Name) felt strangely comforted by the woman’s presence, finally able to relax. “Yes… it was… not easy.”
“Not easy is an understatement. You’ve been under a lot of stress, forced to bear all of this pain alone.”
Tears began to fall from (Name)’s eyes. It had been difficult to contain her turbulent emotions for the past week, no, for the past two years. She felt like she just had her heart broken all over again.
“I… I love him so much… I want him to be happy, I want to give-“
The woman gently held her hands that gripped the teacup. “You can’t give when your cup is empty, dear. Let yourself be filled back up, before you try and give more.”
The teacup filled up with with a steaming, amber liquid. “Go ahead, drink. Tea is good for the soul.”
(Name) raised the cup to her lips, taking a sip. It was perfectly sweet, with a peachy aftertaste. It helped calm her nerves, and clear her mind.
The warmth of the woman’s hands caressed her cheek, wiping away (Name)’s tears. “Thank you… I-“
(Name) was finally able to turn her head to look at the woman, but all she caught was a glimpse of blonde hair and a pleasant smile.
She woke up, noticing the chill in the air. However, she wasn’t cold. (Name) was tucked under her blanket, wearing a pair of clean pajamas and fuzzy socks on her feet.
‘I wonder… who got me changed…’
(Name) began to get up, ready to make breakfast for everyone when she remembered the woman’s words.
“You can’t give when your cup is empty, dear. Let yourself be filled back up, before you try and give more.”
Instead of getting up, (Name) curled up under her blanket, texting Killua that he could either make himself a bowl of cereal or order some takeout for breakfast.
She spent the early morning sleeping in, allowing herself some much needed rest.
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