#wow major throwback while reading this

[dany36]

full totk onion below for my own sanity. super long-ass rant ahead (11k words lmaoooo wow) and also contains spoilers.

so i beat the final boss of tears of the kingdom a while back. took me (according to my switch) “over 100 hours” to beat the game. i did about 110ish shrines, and got like 50 or so korok seeds. did quite a lot of sidequests as well. i was actually surprised how long i played it for considering how much fun i was not having playing it. but of course i wanted to uncover the whole overworld map (excluding the depths) and unlock as many shrines as possible to be able to say that hey, i explored quite a lot and gave this game a fair chance to impress me. which, unfortunately, it did not. if i had to rank all of the zelda games i’ve beaten (which i’ve done all except triforce heroes), i’d put botw in absolute last place, with totk slightly right above it.

before writing this, i re-read through this fantastic botw critical piece on destructoid by Cory Arnold ("Breaking down why Breath of the Wild is highly overrated") that literally hits on all the points on why i hate botw cus i wanted to see if maybe totk had improved on any of those criticisms. the criticisms that the author lists were similar (but much more eloquent) than the hasty list i had made when i first completed the game way back then. i was sad to re-read through it and realize that no, pretty much all of the major criticisms i had in botw were still present since totk is literally an exact copy of botw which some new stuff sprinkled on it, then they called it a brand new game. “but the depths!! the sky!! the new ultrahand mechanic!!” yeah that shit wasn’t fun for me at all (maybe the Ascend ability but more on that later). i literally couldn’t believe that this game cost 70 dollars when there were absolutely no enhancements in terms of the overworld and enemies and was seething through the first 4 hours of the game (or however long it took me to get through the tutorial portion of it). to quote that botw article i mentioned above:

If Breath of the Wild is your personal favorite game or favorite Zelda game, I’m not speaking to you. It’s the people foaming at the mouth at how it’s objectively better than other games, objectively better than other Zelda games, did open world better than other games, and want to enshrine it that I am addressing. This game is far too flawed to be getting this level of praise.

but i’m getting a bit ahead of myself. let’s start with the things i DID like and then i will write a lithany of all the things i hated about this game and why, despite having played it for 100+ hours, i had fun for maybe 10 hours of it.

the good

the ending.

one of the things i absolutely hated about botw was how short and unsatisfying the ending was. zelda wakes up and asks link if he remembers her and links says nothing, which then cuts to zelda and link talking together about…i think all they have to do to restore hyrule. i honestly forget because it sucked so bad that i had no interest in looking it up again. zelda turning human again with rauru’s and sonia’s help, and you having to catch her as she’s falling (a throwback to when you couldn’t catch her at the beginning of the game) were things that made it already looking better than botw’s stale-ass ending. zelda’s “link, i’m home!” was really sweet even if we once again get no emotion from link even though he knows the incredibly weighted decision zelda had made when she decided to turn into a dragon to restore the master sword. but whatever, more on that later.

i’m NOT saying totk’s ending is perfect, in fact i’ve seen some legit criticisms of it that i agree with, but in my opinion it wasn’t TERRIBLE like with how i felt with botw’s (and trust me i take every opportunity i get to bash on botw/totk). seeing link, zelda, and the four sages together at the end as they swear to protect hyrule and its princess was really cool and actually made it look like they were all in it together as friends/companions, in contrast to botw where we get no reference of the new champions in the ending at all. while this ending was better than totk, it’s still not like…at a level of it making my heart ache of joy/satisfcation/sadness (if you know me even the slightest i get very emotional with videogames and i will cry at literally anything lol) like in tww when hyrule floods, or SS with granny and fi leaving, or tp with midna and the mirror. which damn now that i think about it, it looks like zelda has a lot of bittersweet endings, so i will give totk +1 point in that there are no bittersweet moments at the end. i especially liked that they cleared up that no, zelda wasn’t aware or fully conscious about her hundreds of years roaming the skies as a dragon, because even the thought of her being aware of her time as a dragon was making me go insane. like, you mean that in botw she was trapped in the castle for 100 years keeping calamity ganon at bay and NOW she had to spend another 1000 years or whatever as a dragon? hell no. so thank you totk ending for making that clear that she doesn’t remember that at all and that it actually felt like she was asleep like with SS Zelda. :)

which brings me to the next thing that i liked, which is...

princess zelda overall.

i think it should come to no one’s surprise that her decision to turn into a dragon really elevated this zelda’s status to just completely fucking badass. like, damn, i say that’s my baby and i’m proud. the incredible amount of courage that zelda had to have to make that decision is just something that i don’t think we’ve seen other zeldas make. i guess there’s TP Zelda giving up her life to save Midna but, is that a worse fate than be unconsciously roaming the skies as a dragon for hundreds of years not knowing when you’ll come back? and SS Zelda knew that link would come back to wake her up from her slumber, so…. i mean, the scene of the last tears of the dragon memory was just so impactful, and it was probably the only scene in the game that really punched me in the emotional gut. the whole dragon transformation scene was just so heartbreaking to watch and when you see those tears come out of the dragon’s eyes and realize that’s where those memories come from that you’re watching….i’m telling you it made me almost catatonic. like. what the FUCK. probably one of the best cutscenes in zelda history, if I’m being honest. when the memory ends and it leaves you in that field of silent princesses i just needed a moment to breathe. i didn’t even wanna move (both in-game and irl lol). what a beautiful sequence. it’s something i don’t think any other zelda game has made me feel. sure i cried like a fucking baby when granny “dies” in SS or when Fi says goodbye (and i swear i always cry at the beginning of tww when link says goodbye to his grandma oh god), but with the dragon scene it just left me fucking speechless. A+++ work.

now, do i HATE that zelda is once fucking again stuck somewhere else in the middle of the story waiting for us to rescue her instead of being a more active, nuanced character like in ST, TWW, or OoT? absolutely yes. can nintendo fucking do something new and interesting with zelda like (dare i say!!) HW did and give her some personality instead of just being a damsel in distress yet fucking again?? but plenty of people have already ranted about that so i will just leave this to say botw/totk zelda has gone through enough shit and deserves to rest and be happy without going into other things about her character that other people have already talked about in greater detail than i ever could. :)

yunobo and riju.

yunobo was absolutely one of my favorite characters in botw, and so it’s no surprise that he’s a fave here too. his attack was super useful when exploring those boring-ass caves where i had to clear mountains and mountains of rocks without having to use my limited supply of bomb flowers or wacking away with a boulder sword. also one-shot killing those annoying-ass ice lizalfos with his attack will always be funny. the thought of a goron leader having such a child-like voice and huggable face just makes him such an interesting and fun character to me. as for riju, although i didn’t really care for her in botw, there was something about her in this game that just made her really grow on me. some of it definitely has to do with her new design which i thought was fantastic (minus the heels in the fucking desert), but also her attack is just so badass and useful. also helps that the portion where you have to defend gerudo town from the gibdos reminded me a lot of hyrule warriors, aka one of my favorite games ever (unironically!!). so yeah, yunobo and riju really were the oasis in the desert of uninteresting NPCs in this game!

dragon head island.

out of all the boring-ass sky islands in this game, dragon head island was such a welcomed surprise. from the mysterious thunder clouds surrounding it, to the eeringly relaxing music that plays, it was a breath of fresh air. all of the sky islands in this game look almost identical and yet it was really nice to get something different with music that made me go, hey, this is actually great to listen to and will have to add it to my list of zelda music!

the path to the wind temple.

the rito village was the first village i headed to and i was really hopeful for this game when i had to climb up to the wind temple alongside tulin. that portion where you have to jump from one trampoline to another was fun as hell. i was like wow, this definitely feels new and refreshing. i’m also pretty sure that the music was changing as you’d get higher? either way, this part really felt like something from a zelda game and was just overall a blast to get through.

the wind and lightning temple bosses.

again, because the wind temple was the first temple i did, was REALLY impressed with how fun the colgera boss was. sky diving and using tulin’s ability to dodge the boss’s attacks was just so intense and exciting! ALSO the music that played during it was a remix of the dragon roost island theme from tww, which was so fitting and badass. and speaking of badass, the lightning temple boss was, although super disgusting, so cool as well!! i already talked about how fun riju’s attack is, so the part where all the gibdo hives come alive and start surrounding you was just soooo intense. like damn, i can’t remember any of the botw bosses being so damn fun. if i could re-do those two portions of the game, i definitely would.

the final ganondorf fights.

and speaking of boss battles, these fights also had me all tensed-up and at the edge of my seat. well, except the dragon ganon part (he turned into a dragon and all he could do was spit fire balls at me?? he literally had link on his mouth ready to crunch him down!! oh my bad these are the positives ahem). for the second ganondorf fight i got seriously stumped because he just kept dodging my flurry attacks or whatever, and then he kept hitting me with the attack that would remove one of my heart containers (which was really cool and new to see a zelda boss do THAT!!!). like, it actually made me think i was gonna get my ass kicked and would have to restart the battle. idk if this is the strategy since i haven’t looked it up online but eventually i figured out that, after he dodges your attack, he attacks you and you have to dodge THAT in order for your flurry attack or actually work. anyway, i really liked the ganondorf fights even if i sucked at fighting him and went through all of my 6 shields but hey, at least i beat him first try lol.

the sages joining you in the phantom ganon fight and when the temple bosses show up in the depths.

again just a really cool detail that in totk we actually see the sages actually fight alongside you and aid you in your quest to defeat ganondorf instead of hey you’ve awoken me as a sage i’m just gonna stay here and do nothing as you go and fight the demon king. plus it’s a cool moment when you see all those terrifying AF bosses show up in the depths and the sages are all like nah don’t worry about us, we got this! like…hell yeah? love you guys stay awesome and thank you for taking care of those bosses cus i did nOT want to fight them again since this game loves to make you fight the same enemies hundreds of times :)

the gloom hands.

wow, what a terrifying and cool enemy…the first time. but just like everything else in the game (which i will talk about later), they beat this concept to death until you just go ‘oh the gloom hands again, whatever’ and keep moving. the first time i encountered the gloom hands i was like what in the FUCK is this and what is this TERRIFYING MUSIC that plays!!! very dead-hand-from-oot of them. i thought that the floormasters from tww were terrifying with those disturbing sounds they would make but they got nothing on the gloom hands. and then when you think you finally defeat them all and you’re free from their creepy clutches, phantom ganon shows up and one-hit kills you. amazing!!

the ascend ability.

i wouldn’t say i LOVED the ascend ability (tbh i wasn’t fond of this whole crap with rauru’s arm abilities like idk it just doesn’t feel very zelda-ish but more on that later) but of the four abilities we get, i’d say ascend was the one i liked the most. took me forever to figure out some ascend puzzles at the beginning because i wasn’t used to the fact that uh yeah you can literally go through ceilings if you want so i for the most part would enjoy whenever the ascend ability would be involved. so i mean idk what else to say except that it was neat and wouldn’t make me groan to use it unlike ultrahand.

voice acting (japanese).

i’m sorry but hearing the last trailer where we hear zelda’s and (what i’m assuming was) ganondorf’s voice just made me roll my eyes and groan out loud at just how terrible and cartoony they sound. as soon as the game started and we hear zelda talk in that fake-sounding british voice, i just had to go in and switch the audio to japanese so that they could sound like REAL people instead of idk forced acting. and my god i’m glad i did. wish i had done that for botw because wow, the voice acting in japanese was just top-notch and actually made me like the characters and not like cringe at how the VAs sounded. so A++ to the japanese VAs but i mean who are we kidding they always excel at that and it didn’t sound like over-the-top or anything. it sounded just right :)

well that was nice. very lovely. and now for the things that i absolutely hated about the game. from this point on i’m going to quote a lot of things from the destructoid article and try to expand on them to fit totk. here we go!

the bad and ugly

the overworld.

oh boy. this is the big one. this is the one that, for the first 4ish hours of the game (or however long it took me to reach lookout landing), was just making me rage on the inside, and for the rest of the game, just continuously shake my head and sigh with disappointment (and still rage from time to time) at just how fucking boring the overworld in totk is. this is one of the biggest complaints i had in botw and, given that nintendo just fucking reused the same world for totk with literally almost no interesting or noteworthy changes, it continues to be the thing that makes me angry the most about this game. like, i’m sorry, but developers need to stop fucking making huge overworlds if they are just going to make them boring as hell to traverse and not be able to make them interesting to explore at all:

The game is all about running around aimlessly with nothing unique to discover, no area-specific secret bosses, and overall very little progression. The only secrets or things to discover are shrines or Koroks, leaving the world with a profound lack of mystery. I don’t understand why people complain about sailing in Wind Waker but suddenly love running around grassy plains and climbing rocks that take five times as long as sailing between islands did. Yes a game this size and length would be amazing if and only if it was rich with content all the way through, but it’s not. Clocktown (from Majora’s Mask) alone has more depth than the entirety of Breath of the Wild.

There’s the mention of shrines or koroks, but totk introduces the new exciting concept of…caves and wells!!! and while at first it might seem cool and exciting to explore, you then realize that at the end of the day, just like everything in this game, each cave is exactly the fucking same and only serves to hide those blue glowing overgrown frogs so once you find one, it’s like wellp, there’s nothing else of importance that you’re going to find in this cave EXCEPT maybe your umpteenth shrine or a treasure chest containing an outfit (i think that’s how i found all of the fierce deity clothes—within caves). and it’s like “well see dany! you found something ELSE within caves other than those frogs!!” yeah no i explored maybe like 50 or so caves and the shrine/outfits were found in like 4 caves i explored or something like that so no i wouldn’t call that exciting or wortwhile considering i never used the fierce deity outfit and i could have found my umpteenth shrine somewhere else. and the wells? yeah turns out there’s like 40+ wells whose only purpose is to report to some lady of how many you’ve found so that i think she can give you rupees? and honestly who cares. i have no idea what the reward is once you find all of them but what could be worth visiting the same boring-ass caves with the same boring-ass design just so that you can say “yep i’ve visited every well in this game!” and mark off yet another boring sidequest in totk.

at least with TP or MM whenever i found a cave i knew i was going to get a unique and interesting experience (that one cave in TP where you have to drop down to the lowest levels with the iron boots is one of my faves). but unfortunately here, any cool puzzles that would otherwise be found randomly in caves are now stuck strictly to the freaking shrines, which takes away any sort of mystery you might get from finding a cave because now you KNOW it’s just gonna be yet another same-y cave with the same damn enemies and really nothing else going for it except a bubbulfrog and MAYBE the start of a new shrine quest. and likewise, when you see a shrine, you KNOW you’re going in for your umpteenth ultrahand/rewind/ascend puzzle to get yet another shrine orb. like…totk’s approach to caves and puzzles and shrines take away any surprise that you might have had exploring its vast yet uninteresting overworld (how many times am i gonna say this in this rant lol).

and like god i distinctively remember this one part in the death mountain area where i was trying to reach goron city and i saw a shrine not too far—as in, i didn’t have to use the purah pad to be able to see it. so there i go, walking/running towards the shrine because what else is there to do in-between the rito and goron villages except hunt for shrines along the way. and it was so fucking frustrating because i swear i was just walking straight towards the shrine with nothing else in between. no cool music like in other open world games that immerse you with its beautiful music (see minecraft, horizon, sonic frontiers, xenoblade x), aboslutely no enemies, no interesting or beautiful terrain, just me walking like an idiot bored out of my mind listening to link’s clunky armor just to get to the shrine, complete it, and have to run all the way back to where i was since the shrine was the OPPOSITE direction of goron village.

and like, this empty and uninspiring overworld is what nintendo took 6 years to develop? “oh look there’s naming references to past zelda games teehee!! ruto lake! forest of time! something referencing the lokomos!!” but it’s like. you pass those landmarks without even realizing it because there is, most of the time, nothing worthwhile to do there despite the cool throwback name. at least with MM, which reused a lot of the same assets as OoT, the world was different and unique and interesting with lots of more background to similar-looking characters we saw in OoT (the cucco lady vs anju, for example). i felt like such a fool the first night playing totk because i seriously thought that this might be the MM of Botw—i hated (still do) botw but thought hey, now that they have the engine and the assets down, maybe they can now focusing on making the world and its characters and story more interesting and fleshed out! instead we just get the same korok seed BS, the same shrine BS that, although mildly amusing at first, gets boring and uninteresting fast as you explore your 73rd shrine and see the 46th korok hiding place.

and you might think “well dany of COURSE things are going to get repetitive! it’s an open world game and they can’t fill it with new and exciting content all throughout!!” ok then don’t make your overworld so fucking huge?? like WHY are these developers so hellbent on gloating about having “one of the biggest open-worlds” ever if you’re just going to be copy-pasting the same shit over and over with nothing interesting in between? you really think that what makes an overworld interesting is to see the same caves, the same damn bokoblin enemy camps, the same “uwu i need to reach my friend!” korok quests, the same “waaah i need to keep this postsign of the construction boss up in place and i can’t leave until i do!” BS, the same taluses/hinoxes, the same BOSSES all over the map?? yeah it was cool seeing the first gleeock out in the wild, i was like wow!! that’s amazing, i wonder if there will be different bosses roaming around like that? and then i saw that, nope! wrong again, dany! yet another cool idea beaten to death by just copy pasting the same enemy (with different elemental powers of course so as to not make it TOO obvious!) all over the goddamn map.

SPEAKING of copy-pasting the same things instead of having a boss or enemy or cave be truly unique, another thing that drove me insane was the mazes that you find in the overworld. i think i only did the one in the upper right, but there’s at least one other in the upper left of the corner. i thought it was a cool idea so i traversed through the (truth be told) rather boring maze just activating switches, which wasn’t really that interesting or challenging, it was just mildly frustrating and confusing navigating through it. and i fought i think a construct III at the end? whatever, you see those all over the sky as well. and what i got as a reward for navigating through the two mazes (the one in hyrule, and the one in the sky) was…one part of oot ganondorf’s outfits. like, ok, great, whatever, but before heading off to the final boss towards the end of the game i was like “well let me go do that other maze and see what that’s all about” but then i stopped myself and said, you know what, it’s probably gonna be the same BS, going through yet another non-engaging maze doing an uninteresting and confusing puzzle just to get either a weapon that calls back to an older game or another piece of oot ganondorf’s outfit. and i was like HMMMM yeah that doesn’t sound appealing or fun at all. SKIP!!!

Breath of the Wild wants you to grind and do repetitive shit all day. Fighting the same things over and over in a massive world isn’t fun, it really isn’t.

like i’m sorry if i’m just predictable and want something more entertaining to keep me interested in the world as i explore along instead of the same repetitive nonsense and then praise nintendo for giving us such a huge overworld for it. people might have complained about tww’s vast ocean but at least it gave us one of the most beautiful overworld themes to date and it made sense STORY-wise (as in, there’s sea everywhere and little islands in between because of the flooding of hyrule). here, and sorry to beat this point to the death but i just cannot emphasize enough how terrible of an experience it was for me to explore the overworld, because it’s just huge, boring, and repetitive for no reason.

and the worst part is, i couldn’t even ride my horse if i wanted to (which would have made exploring this forsaken world less annoying) because for some unknown reason, nintendo has decided that in these past two games, you can’t call for your horse from wherever you are. sure, you can BOARD your horse from the kakariko stable even if you left it far off in the rito village, that’s no problem! but calling your horse from wherever you want? no no that’s too unrealistic!

so no, i don’t care that you can climb every mountain in this game (to find what, another korok seed? lol). that’s not what makes exploration fun for me in a videogame. if i climb a mountain and then find a UNIQUE boss or a UNIQUE cave or a UNIQUE sidequest? now that’s cool. here? just copy-pasting away!

Climbing and watching the stamina bar is not fun, and it’s downright annoying when it begins to rain. Call it a mechanic or whatever you want but it’s not fun. It feels like they added a ton of mountain ranges just to pad the game length and justify a stamina meter when flatter land would have been just as acceptable.

i’d rather sail tww’s ocean or ride around ST’s tracks any day of the week. fucking NEXT!

the shrines.

like i mentioned at the beginning, i did my fair share of looking for and completing shrines because i wanted to get a fair sense of just all that this “new” game had to offer. sure, the first 10 or so are fun and interesting because you are learning to use the new arm powers. oh you want me to combine these two things with ultrahand to complete the shrine? cool! let me do that! oh ok, now you want me to rewind time on this object? omg neat! oh wow, now i have to be aware of my surroundings and use ascend here! cool! and then you do that again, and again, and again, and again, and again again again again until you’re on your 100th shrine and it’s like oh god PLEASE give me something new:

Shrine puzzles are all about the same level of difficulty, as are all the Divine Beasts and their bosses. Again, since they want to let you go anywhere, there is no progression of difficulty in either the bosses or puzzles. You do not learn new things and compound them as the game goes on […] You just do the same things with the same runes over and over. […] All have the exact same aesthetic, same music, and same lack of connection to game’s world. But rather than 120, there are actually only 80. There are 20 “Blessing” shrines which nine out of ten times give you some generic weapon you probably already have, accessed by completing puzzles of sorts outside the shrine to unlock them. Those “puzzles” are often just putting balls in holes, shooting an arrow at something, or fetch quests, though.

putting aside the number of shrines mentioned above (since they vary in totk), it’s like, that’s literally it. unlike previous zelda games, where maybe you’d enter a cave and wouldn’t have the necessary item to complete its puzzle, here, there’s no sense of progression because the game already gives you everything you need to explore ITS ENTIRE OVERWORLD AND ALL ITS SHRINES right from the beginning. and some people might like that, but it’s definitely not for me. because like, after you get all your arm powers, everything just stays exactly the fucking same through the rest of the damn game:

There is never a moment of “I need to comeback here later” which sounds convenient but it takes away from the sense of progression and getting stronger that this game and its fans claim it has. There is no excitement of getting a new mask, new song, boomerang, bottle, or equipment item that lets me do more. No matter where you go, you know you will be sufficiently equipped, and that takes the thrill out of it.

and i feel like that’s exactly one of the issues that i have with the concept of shrines in this game. it’s just the same types of puzzles with the same 4 powers tens of times until you complete them all and you can maybe recall 2 or 3 that you really liked and were like “huh ok that was cool” and move on. truly revolutionary for a game. and i just HATE that all pieces of heart/stamina currency is restricted to ONLY shrines because, once again, that leaves no variety or surprises in the game! you know completing a sidequest won’t yield a piece of heart or a stamina vessel ‘cus that’s all shrines, same for minigames or caves, which was half the fun of doing those things in previous games!! but no, once you find a type of SOMETHING in this game (a cave, a well, a shrine), you bet your ass that THAT same design is all you’ll ever see for the rest of the game.

shrines in this game did introduce a new type which is when they strip you of all of your equipment and only give you basic weapons that you have to use to get through the bunch of constructs that you have to fight inside. and yes, that was cool for the first couple of times, but i swear after my third one i was once again with the feeling of “oh god not THIS again??”. god i just feel like i’m just repeating the same issues i had with this game over and over again: repetition repetition repetition. this game just loves damn repeating itself!!! anyway, moving on…

99% of the side quests and NPCs.

this was a problem i had with botw and i don’t know why i’m surprised that totk did absolutely nothing to fix the issue of uninteresting, unengaging sidequests. remember in SS with the whole Peatrice-falling-in-love-with-you thing? or those sidequests in TWW with the rich and poor girl who at the end switch lifestyles because of circumstances in their lives, and you can help the now-poor Mila come to terms with her new life? or hell, ANY of the MM sidequests and how they actually made you empathize with its characters and actually care a little bit for what would happen to them? here in totk (and in botw) i just don’t feel that connection or need to help NPCs with their mundane problems like i would in previous zelda games:

Breath of Wild has its NPCs, but they are bland and as memorable as my ex-girlfriends’ birthdays. They don’t have unique characteristics, designs, or problems. Looking like they were born out of some generator rather than a human, they send you on shallow fetch quests. Collect 55 rushrooms. Tame that horse. The rewards are almost always just rupees, ingredients, or more generic breakable weapons.

i said 99% of the side quests and NPCs because i think the only one i actually cared for (but was actually tedious towards the end…) was rebuilding that lurelin village because the thought of having your home destroyed by “pirates” (aka bokoblins because god forbid this game have to create more unique enemies) was a bit too much for my heart to take. but i mean, other than that? who cares. oh that guy in hateno village has a creepy crush on that girl sweeping the front of the store? whatever. that whole elections thing in hateno village? yawn. some rito girl wants to cook some new recipe? i don’t know her. there’s really nothing much else i can say about NPCs or sidequests in this game because i can’t think of anyone else other than that guy who helped rebuild the village that actually made me feel SOMETHING else other than boredom. and like mentioned above, most of the time doing the sidequests isn’t really worth it because there’s no cool rewards like bottles, quiver expansions, pieces of heart, or an upgrade to an item because well, that would be taking away from the shrines-and-some-depths-treasure-chests-can-only-give-you-worthwhile-rewards thing from this game, huh?

overall, the villages in this game just feel empty and void of any interesting and captivating NPCs/sidequests that make me want to learn more about their lives. despite hateno village being the biggest village (i think) we’ve seen in a zelda game yet, i just…don’t really care for it or its people. same with kakariko village and zora’s domain, the latter of which just feels so big but just so fucking hollow and honestly boring to explore. tww’s windfall island just had tons of life and compelling characters of which i may not remember their names, but sure as hell remember their small but memorable sidequests. playing cupid between that guy that would walk around windfall and the girl with the orange dress is infinitely much more interesting than any of the so-called sidequests i did in hateno village.

the lack of enemy variety.

it’s kind of insane to me how, given that nintendo had about 5+ years to develop this game, they had a pretty good chance to develop new and interesting enemies. this was a problem i had with botw: fighting the same damn enemies just got old very damn fast. let’s see how many enemies (NOT including varieties, i don’t care that a fire keese is different than an ice keese, and also not mini bosses like hinoxes) botw had according to the zelda wiki: bokoblins, chuchus, keese, lizalfos, lynels, moblins, wizzrobes, yigas, pebblits, guardian scouts, guardians, guardian skywatcher, and…guardian turret i guess. that’s 13 enemies for a game that boasts to have such a huge and unique overworld. THRITEEN types of enemies. just thirteen. compared to Xenoblade 1, which has 30+ types of enemies (i stopped counting really), and horizon zero dawn, which has 24 types of unique machines.

now let’s see how many enemies totk has! there’s bokoblins, boss bokoblins, chuchus, constructs, evermeans, horriblins, keese, like likes, lizalfos, lynels, moblins, wizzrobes, aerocuda, pebblits, gibdos, gloom spawns, little frox, moth gibdo, and…yigas. 19 enemies, 6 more than its predecessor. just, wow, even now just looking at the numbers, the variety in this game is ABYSMAL considering that most of the time in the overworld you run in bokoblins, moblins, and lizalfos like 80% of the time. in caves, most of the time it’s just horroblins but really, the strategy to fight them all is exactly the same except for lynels, like likes, and gibdos, which you have to be more careful with. but really, it’s like…that’s all you could come up with for this huge overworld? i don’t know about other folks but for me, i eventually stopped fighting enemies because it just wasn’t worth it with how this game handles weapons and their durability:

But you quickly stop raiding camps and just avoid enemies in general, just as you slowly lose interest in exploring every ruin, because there is no suitable reward. You expend your breakable weapons, arrows, and food fighting easy enemies to get more breakable weapons; likely weaker than the ones you broke to get to it.

i already had more-than-enough strong enemy spoils to fuse with my weapons, i don’t need to fight my umpteenth silver bokoblin just to get another one of its stupid-looking horns to attach to my weapon and somehow make it stronger (and stupider). and also like, fighting them just got so boring after a while. sure, it’s a bit scary and intimidating fighting moblins when you only have 5 hearts and weak weapons, but eventually you get a two-handed weapon and all you have to do is just constantly whack away at your moblin/horriblin/bokoblin/lizalfos so that you constantly knock them down and don’t allow them to get back up cus it’s not like they have much variety in their attacks either. such thrilling combat if you ask me!! and the way that this game handles difficulty is just so stupid: making enemies “damage sponges” so that instead of 5 hits, now it takes 15 hits to kill a moblin in the same repetitive way—whack them away so that they can’t get up. how is this fun and interesting?

i fought a black lynel once in the wild and that was cool, but then i just never fought another one again because in my opinion the rewards for killing a lynel just aren’t really worth it. you break a couple of your weapons just to get some of its spoils and it’s like, eh, i’ll pass. a silver bokoblin’s horn might not be as strong but it’s not like it makes a HUGE difference in this game whether i have a silver bokoblin horn or a lynel horn. who cares!

the game of course then wanted me to fight a silver lynel on the way to kill ganondorf and i was like hell no, i don’t want to dodge the same moves over and over again and do the same flurry attacks over and over and over just like i did with the black lynel, except now i get to do it MORE times because of damage sponges! how is that exciting or interesting? at least give stronger enemies more variety in their attacks instead of making my hand hurt from just doing the same repetitive (there’s that word again) moves until it dies.

Speaking of Hinoxes and Stone Taluses, during my first encounter I was delighted to have a random mini-boss-like fight out in the open, thinking it was the only one. Then I quickly realized they’re copy and pasted all over the map. I was expecting to see unique mini-bosses or fights in certain locations, but that wouldn’t be possible when they have the loot system requiring you grind enemies over and over to upgrade numerical stats on armor. 

already touched on the point made above a little bit but just had to mention it here as well because as i said, this game takes away any sort of unique aspect to it by beating it to death via copy pasting enemies, mini bosses, and bosses all over its map. you can’t imagine the disappointment i felt when i learned that colgera, aka a boss i really loved fighting at the wind temple, was found again in the depths. and again. i at least fought it three times throughout the game, not sure if it appears more times but when i saw it the second time i was like holy shit, this again?? really? any memory of having such a thrill of fighting it for the first time was quickly erased realizing nintendo just can’t keep something unique in this game. same thing with phantom ganon—encountering it for the first time was cool and intimidating. by the time i rescued the deku tree i was just sick to death of it, so realizing i had to fight it YET AGAIN!!!! at hyrule castle with the whole fake zelda business was just almost unbearable. (man, typing this whole rant out is making me realize just how many repetitive and monotonous aspects there are to this game!!!! and i hate that i keep using that word but what else is there to describe the constant sludge of same same same same this game kept throwing at my face??)

combat gets repetitive very fast.

look, i mentioned it before but i don’t play zelda to custom make doohickeys that can kill enemies. i’m old fashioned and honestly not creative enough (minecraft building wasn’t for me, i just liked to explore), so i like my hand-to-hand combat, with an arrow or two in between. i’ve already mentioned this in the previous section but the combat in this game just gets so repetitive despite the many weapons this game tries to throw at your face. i mean really when you think about it you have three kinds of weapons: your typical sword, the two-handed sword, and the spear. and i guess the bow? (oh and the wands but i’m more referring to the classic combat weapons) but like, for hand-to-hand combat, your overall strategy doesn’t change regardless of the type of weapon you have, which is just wack away as many times as you can, and do some flurry attacks for the stronger enemies like lynels and uh. hmmm. yeah. why not introduce different attack mechanics depending on the type of weapon you are building, like the horizon series does with the many weapon types it introduces in the games?

i’m not saying previous zelda games’ combat was the most exciting or varied, but at least with tww, the special parry attack attack would VARY by either doing a helm splitter or a back slice. but here in botw/totk it’s like…your special sword attacks consist of your classic spin attack and the flurry attack, which just stays (yet again) constant throughout the game. no upgrades like with the hurricane spin or the great spin. with tp and even tmc you had your hidden skills you could learn to vary your sword attacks and even tp gives you a special finishing attack (the ending blow, and actually SS had this too now that i remember!), but these past two zelda games just have failed to give much flavor in the sword techniques you can use. which is kind of stupid when you think about it cus this link is supposed to have been trained in sword combat while tww link is some kid from an island and tp link is just some guy raised in a ranch. i don’t know if this is the game trying to make itself seem more difficult by having removed these types of different sword skills because like, why can’t i side step and do a back slice like in tp? or ANYTHING ELSE other than a damn flurry attack which, if you’re not good at dodging, then good luck with that shit. flurry attacking over and over again just gets old very fast and makes those sponge enemies even more of a chore to fight when i can’t add any flavor to my sword attacks. just yet another thing in the game that i feel severely pales in comparison to past zelda games.

the weapon durability.

speaking of combat variety…i have no idea why i thought weapon durability would go away in totk. do people really like having breakable weapons? it was something i absolutely hated in botw and well, it’s back and HOPEFULLY not here to stay as a staple of new zelda games!

I’m beating a dead horse here, but breakable weapons is not a fun concept at all. It’s tedious and makes finding and collecting new weapons completely moot because “well I’ll be able to use this for a few seconds til it breaks.”  If you want more weapons while keeping the thrill of finding them alive but not having a stronger one that makes others obsolete, then make a bunch of non-breakable weapons that are used differently and better in certain situations than others.

to piggyback on that last point, that sort of matches with what i was saying earlier about having different attack mechanics depending on the weapon that you’re using. i don’t know why the hell we need to have breakable weapons be a thing in this game. is it just to fill the overworld with more treasure chests of weapons you can find like the biggoron’s sword so you can be like “oh, thanks for this, it will break in a couple of hits and then i’ll lose it forever”? having the master sword “lose” its power after certain hits is so damn stupid too. sure zelda roamed the skies as a dragon for hundreds of years to power up the master sword but it still becomes unusable after wacking it against a moblin for a bit too long. this game just REALLY wants you to spend all your time running around and fighting the same enemies over and over again so you can get new weapons/stupid shit to fuse to them to make this game longer than it really is.

the music overall.

anyone who knows me even just a little bit knows how much i love video game music. i’ll even listen to music from games i haven’t even played, and i even cry of just pure joy at listening to some of the video game music out there. but oh god. just thinking about traversing the overworld in this game with just hearing link’s footsteps and the clunky armor is enough to make me go insane. why can’t we have good overworld music in zelda games anymore? as mentioned above, at least when i had to sail around tww’s ocean or ride around st’s tracks, it gave me some damn good music to listen to that, frankly, never got old (st’s overworld theme is still one of my ultimate faves in the series). and it’s not just hyrule, but the sky and the depths have this same problem as well: absolutely nothing but silence or (in the depth’s case) random creepy music from time to time. as if the overworld itself isn’t boring enough, they just had to make its “music” dull and lackluster and honestly non-memorable. when i think of exploring hyrule in TP i think of that badass orchestra-like music playing while i’m riding around with epona. when i think of exploring hyrule/the sky/the depths in totk i think of absolutely nothing but emptiness and boredom, music-wise. SIGH!

but if the overworld wasn’t bad enough, i feel like the locations themselves didn’t…really offer much in terms music that i’d personally want to save in my music collection. there were some exceptions, of course: hateno village (but really it’s just the same music as in botw), dragon head island (really chill music, love it), and…i think the lookout landing had some decent music, but honestly i don’t remember it well enough lmao. boss-wise, sure, the wind temple boss fight music was REALLY cool (dragon roost island sample in there? sign me the fuck up), and the build up as to when you’re going down to face ganondorf was also cool, but…again, for a game THIS damn huge, i’d expect more memorable music, like with the horizon series, minecraft, or xenoblade 1/X. idk, i just am not impressed with the music available in this game given how many iconic songs the zelda games have been in the past. like kakariko village’s theme song in this game is, imo, a disgrace. idk why they couldn’t have adjusted the classic kakariko village theme song to fit the new “aesthetic” they were going for with the sheikah. they did it in tww (where it’s a lively town) and they did it in tp (now in like a old wild west town kind of thing), why couldn’t they do it in botw/totk? ugh, just….so lame and bland.

the depths.

the problem i have with the depths is pretty much the same problems i had with the hyrule overworld except make it ten times worse and also now it’s completely dark. “but omg isn’t it cool how the depths mirror the surface overworld??” yeah i don’t really care, alttp already did that and it didn’t bore me to tears exploring the dark world. seriously, i fucking dreaded going to the depths because if the lack of new and interesting things to do on the surface is bad, then in the depths it’s just so much worse. at least in the surface you can use your horse in some areas to make it go a bit faster, but here? all on foot, baby. imagine exploring the surface all on foot, with barely ANY interesting landmarks, with the same 5 or so enemies, all the damn time, and it’s dark…can’t think of anything worse, game-design wise lmao. seriously, the depths were just idk another attempt to make this game’s overworld seem a lot bigger than it is but god it was just so damn fucking boring to me. i don’t care about the abandoned mines, or the springs, or…well, what else was there? just yet another treasure chest with yet another PART of an outfit? no thanks!!

i specifically remember that getting one part of the TP outfit was such a pain in the ass to get because it’s in that spiral part on the eastern side of the map except well it’s in the depths. it was literally just me running for like 5 minutes straight around this spiral while running past a bunch of bokoblins and other enemies because lmao i don’t want to fight the same damn enemy over and over again as i’m trying to get to the end of this spiral which is actually just part of some abandoned mines with no lore or anything else interesting in it that would make it memorable. and of course what’s at the end of it all? a throwback outfit so that you can think it was worth it to run like an idiot for 5 minutes straight. finding a quiver upgrade or an empty bottle would have felt more rewarding than just yet another outfit that i won’t be bothering to upgrade because upgrades in this game are so damn tedious.

99% of the islands.

i feel like a broken record here so i’ll keep this section short since my issues with the islands are similar to the issues i have with the shrines and the overworld and the caves except now they’re in the sky. other than dragon-head island and the one where you have to like move mirrors so that light shines in certain directions, the sky islands were stale and just a big whatever. i don’t know what else to say that i haven’t already beaten to death here except that the islands in tww are more interesting and rewarding to explore than the sky islands in totk. just would absolutely bore me to tears fighting my nth construct or doing the nth take-this-crystal-to-reveal-a-shrine quest next!

the temples.

again, my problems with the temples are very similar to that of shrines, ‘cus i mean they actually just feel like glorified shrines, but at least in totk they did a better job at having each temple have a different design and feel to it instead of botw where just every beast felt the fucking same (i honestly wouldn’t be able to tell the beast dungeons apart from one another). regardless, i don’t know about you guys but man do i sure as hell miss traditional zelda temples. to quote a person i follow who recently talked about their grievences with botw (waywardsalt):

Older zelda games’ dungeons being tied to their respective items is a big part- to me- of what makes those dungeons so good. […] The dungeons in past Zelda games are practically complex tutorials on how you can use your new items. […] And then you must then use that item to defeat that dungeon’s boss, and you usually have no chance of beating that boss if you don’t make use of the dungeon’s associated item. It’s like a final test for the item, seeing if you know how it works enough to complete the dungeon and use it against a boss’s weaknesses.

much like the beasts in botw, you get to a temple here and they immediately mark the spots of where you have to go. some are more straightforward and simplistic (the water temple) than others (the fire temple—which i think is the best of the four), but they all amount to the same thing: all of the puzzles are just a variation of yet another ultrahand object fusion, or if we get a little bit crazy, you have to use ascend throughout the temple. instead of giving you a mirror shield, the lightning temple just makes you use the ultrahand to move around mirrors to solve puzzles. which was cool at first (who doesn’t love mirror puzzles?), but the temple felt way too damn short compared to other mirror-heavy temples (spirit temple from oot and earth temple from tww), and moving around a mirror that’s laying in the room in plain sight just doesn’t have quite the same zelda feel of “i’ve fought my way through this temple, beat the miniboss, and NOW i finally have a mirror shield i can use to solve the puzzles i had been seeing previously!” ‘cus idk i do miss having that bit sense of progression that dungeon items would add: i DO miss stumbling upon a locked door in a temple and searching everywhere for a key to unlock it, or wondering “wow, i have to get up there, but i think i’m missing the temple item in order to advance, i guess i’ll have to come back here after defeating the miniboss.” instead here it’s just like, ok, i’m in the flashing dot room, what fan/cart/rocket/wing combination do they want me to build yet again??

i always felt like temples were supposed to be a big part of zelda games but, again, other than the fire temple, i felt like the temples here were rather fast to beat, with the water temple just being the worst offender. i mean they can’t all be winners, but considering this game ONLY has FOUR temples, you’d think they’d idk be a bit longer or more difficult to complete like in majora’s mask? there is barely any complexity in navigating temples like with MM’s snowhead temple or tww’s wind temple—the fire temple was the only one that did anything interesting with its navigation and the others were just so fucking flat, much like the beasts in botw. did the zelda team lose its main dungeon designer or something? even majora’s mask’s pirate fortress—a MINI dungeon—was more fun and interesting to navigate than THE fucking water temple in totk. what a joke!!!

the way the story gets told.

i won’t talk about my grievances with the story details themselves, there’s plenty of people who have rightly criticized how simplistic it is and how it doesn’t really make you empathize with ANY of its characters (except, in my opinion, princess zelda): not sorry but i actually laughed when ganondorf killed sonia lol, especially with them being like HA! your fake zelda ways can’t trick us!!! and then WHAM out comes ganondorf and fucking obliterates sonia like lol ok bye girl!!! i hardly knew you and the game gave me no incentive to care about you like i would with medli in tww or grandma impa in ss so your death means nothing to me! oh whoops i need to stop talking about the “story” and its “characters” before i get carried away!

anyway! i absolutely despised how botw told its bare-bones “story” through memories you had to find in the overworld, so can you imagine my utter disappointment when totk has decided to ONCE AGAIN tell its story the same damn way?? i get that they’re going for an open world aspect but my god, some fucking linearity won’t fucking kill you nintendo. plenty of open world games are STILL very much open world while forcing some linearity when trying to tell its story—horizon forbidden west and xenoblade x come to mind. these games still let you explore much of its world as freely as you want while making you progress through its story and make you care about its characters and their purpose along the way. but here with totk i feel no connection to the world or its people—kakariko village used to be such an important place in zelda games and i honestly couldn’t tell you the name of ONE interesting or appealing character from that village like renado in TP or Mila from TWW (what’s the name of that girl that took over from impa? even fucking impa is just another afterthought in this damn game). shit, i’m getting sidetracked again, but god there is just so many things to talk about how poor of a job totk does in making you FEEL something in its damn empty overworld but i got other shit to do and this is already way too damn long (if you’ve made it this far i could kiss you!!!!)

anyway anyway! my main problem with the way that the “story” gets told is that you can collect the memory that explains the bit about fake zelda way early in the game and you’re still running around visiting towns with the new sages being like “omg princess zelda was here and she tried to kill us!! :(“ like, link what the fuck you clearly just saw a memory that zelda is in the past (or has become a dragon if you went and hunted down all the memories right away) and there was a fake zelda back then, SPEAK UP and TELL these people something!!! same thing with those sidequests with penn or whatever, you’re over here hunting down clues about the missing princess, but you already know where she is!! she’s in the past!! the zelda that people have been seeing is more than likely fake!!! she’s a dragon!! but no, because nintendo for some reason couldn’t figure out how to tell an engaging and interesting story while also having an open world (they had 6 years!!!), you have to sit like an idiot as these people talk to you about fake zelda apparitions while you’re just like “gee i wonder what THAT could be!!”

because i found dragonhead island + the fifth sage way before my fight with phantom ganon, one of my friends told me that once you beat him, you can go back to kakariko village and tell people that the zelda that prohibited access to the ring ruins is fake so that they’ll let you explore them and eventually lead you to dragonhead island. but see, i never had to do that so instead i was just frustrated at the game design that i can’t SPEAK UP about fake zelda because the game decided that this is the one time they want some linearity and you won’t be able to say anything about the fake zelda until you defeat her. instead of like, hey, let’s warn the citizens of hyrule that there’s a fake zelda running around and to not trust her?? hello?? just another missed opportunity of having this game somewhat connect you to its characters and surroundings.

likewise with the master sword. i got the master sword before i saw the final tear + learned of the sacrifice zelda had to make, so i was kinda mad cus i feel like the emotional impact of getting the master sword from the white dragon would have been MUCH MORE greater if the game would have FORCED me to see the final tear before trying to retrieve the master sword. so it’s just like, ugh. if i have to play another zelda game that does such a shitty job at telling its story and making compelling characters that evoke empathy and compassion, i will seriously not know what to do with myself. like a mutual (shoutout be-gay-do-crimes) recently mentioned: loneliness isn’t Zelda!!

and i know people have complained about this but like, sitting through the same damn cutscene after you beat the temple bosses was YET AGAIN nintendo showing that they don’t know how to keep things interesting and just repeat the same BS over and over again. why not have each old sage, which of course are just another afterthought in this game’s sea of uninteresting NPCs, add on something new from its POV so we literally don’t have to sit through the exact same story being told and have absolutely no unique perspective from the old sage? is it really too much to ask for a bit of variety for a game that reused a lot of assets from its previous game and had so many years in development? where are the good story writers from past zelda games??

link’s lack of emotions.

i have a full post where i talk about botw link’s lack of emotions and why it was such a disappointment going from tww/tp/ss to….that, so i won’t get too much into this here ‘cus i already wrote another thesis-long post about that that you can find. people defend totk link saying “but his micro expressions! omg!!! you’re OBVIOUSLY not paying attention!!” like ok lmao keep being happy you’re fed crumbs. botw/totk link’s emotions are a fucking joke when you compare to previous zelda games, even oot link showed relief and a smile at zelda when they thought they had killed ganondorf. totk link? exists in a vacuum. to quote waywardsalt again:

the blank stare and limited emoting worked in botw because… there’s a given reason for his lack of outward emotion in the past, plus he has no memory in the present. it makes sense. but this time around, he’s gotten memories in the years between this and the last game, but he just feels like a background character in most of the story beats.

like i’m sorry if i expect link to at least show a fucking SMILE at zelda once she says “link, i’m home!” GIVEN that he knows the incredibly weighted decision that zelda took in becoming a dragon and roam its skies for hundreds of years in order to give link and the people of hyrule some hope that evil will be defeated once again. this is the same girl that spent 100 years keeping calamity ganon at bay waiting for YOU to heal and wake up. and there’s absolutely no emotional payback from link to us the player or zelda now that we know she won’t spent eternity as a dragon? give me a break! botw tried to explain it in zelda’s diary saying that “oh link doesn’t like showing emotion because he feels he has so much responsibility on his shoulder so he doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s feeling” but like, girl he’s not made of stone?? 

imagine if we had gotten a fraction of ss link’s expressions with totk link when he’s reaching out to zelda as she’s falling again after turning back into a human just like ss link did when he tried to catch zelda from falling to the surface. or respond to totk zelda’s “i’m home!” with the same smile that tp link gave to midna when he saw his friend was safe after the light spirits bring her back. it’s just ugh so fucking frustrating looking back at past links and how expressive they were and with totk we’re supposed to cheer that he has microexpressions and praise nintendo for making link such an emotionally-complex character through crumbs. it just makes the totk fanart of link and zelda even funnier considering how non-responsive link is to anything involving zelda. botw/totk zelda has gone through so much shit emotionally to just be talking to a wall. just whatever.

miscellaneous questionable gameplay decisions.

why can’t i call my horse from wherever i am in the overworld like i could in oot/mm/tp. this game tries to be sooo realistic with its slipping from walls if it’s raining or striking you with thunder if you have metallic weapons or well OF COURSE your horse can’t hear you whistling from where you are 10 thousand feet away! but sure i can dive from great heights and not die and i can climb mountains like spiderman and swim up waterfalls with a special shirt (but careful ‘cus this same shirt will make you drown with regular horizontal swimming!) and sure it’s fine for the gerudo to run through the desert in heels. like…make it make sense lol.

and why is it such an odyssey to use a sage’s ability. why do i have to chase them down in a chaotic battle for me to use riju’s ability. why aren’t there shortcut buttons for me to do this. who thought this was a good idea?

why is there no shortcut or a menu where i can easily switch back and forth between my most-used outfits? this was especially annoying in the desert when during the night it’d be freezing cold, so there i go to put on the rito pants and shirt. ah but it’s afternoon again so open up the menu and now switch to the gerudo head gear so you don’t die of heatstroke. like, there’s all these outfit options and this game makes it such a pain to quickly pick my most-used outfits, especially considering that each outfit consists of three parts so you have to be switching back and forth between whatever is currently needed. it’s why i never even bothered to get the climbing outfit because i sure as hell didn’t want to be switching back and forth between THAT and my green tunic just so i can climb this game’s dull mountains. there’s millions types of outfits and upgrading them just give you defense stats. to quote the destructoid article:

 OK, I can swim up a waterfall, but why not let me swim like a Zora as you could in Majora’s Mask? How about on top of just climbing faster, upgrading the climbing gear lets me climb in the rain without slipping? How about at least giving me a hotkey or shortcut to quickly change outfits on the fly instead of going through the menu every five seconds? Those would be things worth upgrading for, not just numerical defensive stats.

but of course you can’t use the same gear for climbing faster AND not allowing you to slip—why, what else would they fill the overworld with if not yet another super specific outfit?

the fusing ability was just a big whatever to me. like, just give me stronger weapons since that’s what i would end up doing 95% of the time with the fuse ability. i don’t care about fusing an ugly-ass looking bokoblin horn to my weapons to make them stronger, or putting a mushroom or whatever on my shield. oh i can fuse fruits and keese eyes and bomb flowers to make fire/ice/light/bomb arrows? very revolutionary.

eventually….ultrahand.

i won’t make this long since i’ve already talked about how i don’t play zelda games for customizations or being able to make my own house or whatever else this game tried to fit into it in a vain attempt to make the game seem bigger than it actually is. sure the ultrahand stuff is cool for the first few hours of the game and your first few shrines, but just like everything else that i’ve talked about on this thesis-long rant, it just got boring and monotonous and uninteresting to me. i honestly went through maybe 70% of the game with just the first zonai battery-thingy that you get from the start since i never really felt the need to upgrade it. ultrahand and its weird-ass puzzles just don’t feel zelda to me, i miss items like the hookshot/clawshots, the boomerang to stun enemies, the whip, the sand wand, the hammer, like…i don’t care that i can make machines that can obliterate enemy camps in an instant, it’s not like enemies are that hard in this game once you get to a certain point—i don’t need ultrahand BS for it. good for the people that are having fun with and making all sorts of contraptions, and yes in a game programming sense it is definitely cool and a marvel to think about, but……idk it just wasn’t for me and the game leaned too heavily on it for my liking. doing the same types of puzzles with carts/rockets/fans over and over again in shrines in the depths in the sky in the temples in the overworld just made me hate the ultrahand mechanic. at least with the ascend ability i felt like it wasn’t as overused as ultrahand but well i guess nintendo really wanted to show off its fancy new toy and say see!! this was worth the 70 dollars!!

—————

whew, well, there’s definitely more things i could talk about in regards to why this game is such a huge letdown for me and one of the worst ZELDA games i’ve had the displeasure to play, but i think i’ll stop here for my own sanity. if there’s one thing i’m grateful for this game is that it made me appreciate older zelda games so much more: i have this huge urge to play through tww and st again, hell even through ocarina of time too even though i’ve beaten that game EASILY over 80 times. i also had a lot of fun messaging back and forth with my buddy downpourstringloop as we would play through the game and exchange our thoughts on it (reminded me of our SS days!), so that was really cool as well. just like with botw, i definitely will not be playing through this game again as i would always do with pretty much all other zelda games (man i remember as soon as i beat ST i immediately started a new run for it because it was just so damn great). it just wasn’t fun for me and i don’t want to wade through 90+ hours of BS just to replay 10 hours of somewhat good moments.

so now that i’ve mostly poured out all most of my thoughts on this game, i hope that totk will not be taking up more of time and make me want to go insane at thinking of all the missed opportunities that nintendo had with this game coming from botw. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i really hope the next zelda game isn’t in this same lackluster open world format and that nintendo can put back a little bit of the magic that made zelda games great and a joy to replay through. but unfortunately for me, people everywhere love botw/totk to death, so it looks like i will just have to ride it out and wait patiently for this zelda open world hype train to die. maybe then we’ll once again get interesting temples, new unique dungeon items, compelling characters and NPCs, engaging sidequests with worthwhile rewards, fun minigames that are rewarding to complete, gameplay that doesn't feel repetitive and beaten to death, and a story that tugs at my heart like SS or ST did.

PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ✌️

[27-royal-teas]

hi its lyric analysis time and uhh this time im tying Hum Hallelujah to the Best Buy incident because i really do think that pete’s past is integral in his writing and also i just kind of want to address it. It’s some dark shit so read with caution. Trigger warnings for lengthy (but not graphic) discussions of suicide, suicide attempts, and drug overdose.

i address things very jumbled and the verses are out of order so yeahh. In addition i did use lyricgenius a lot but im not just copying off them, i have my own ideas, give me some credit ://

For those of you guys who dont know, pete tried to commit suicide via anxiety med overdose in a best buy parking lot after FUTCT was released in 2005 (thus, ‘best buy incident’) but i just want to touch on how it affected his songs, this one in particular; it shows through the lyrics in this and i really dont see enough people talking about it because this song is a masterpiece (i am well aware Infinity On High released sixteen years ago (WOW) but you all talk about thnks fr th mmrs and arms race enough- this is not a bad thing, i just really like this song)

So hum hallelujah’s chorus goes like this:

“So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason

I thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light

A teenage vow in a parking lot; til tonight do us part

I sing the blues and swallow them too.”

pete is pretty much known for his lyrics (aside from being a bassist and several media scandals) and a lot of his lyrics, if you havent noticed, are really fucking depressing. He thinks that maybe he can swallow the sadness which presumably alludes to the drug overdose (“i sing the blues and swallow them too”). It feels also like hes saying that he swallows his own words, as well- his style of lyrics is deeply confessional and tells a story, just like blues, of which is described to hold a conversational feel. It could also be a throwback to the saying you’re going to eat your words, which basically just means ‘you’re going to regret what you say’. He’s singing his sadness. 

For the rest of the chorus, it’s pretty much just the best buy incident. Hallelujah references what he was listening to when he tried to do it. lyricgenius notes that the key of c major is often referred to as the ‘key of reason’ (the original hallelujah was written in this key). HOWEVER, hum hallelujah was written in the key of D (which is right after C major) which makes it just off the key of reason. ‘A teenage vow in a parking lot’ (lyricgenius doesnt agree with me on this one rip) references the attempt- a vow of death; vows are meant to be binding, but a teenage vow might be broken as teenagers are typically painted to be naive (showing he DIDNT SUCCEED IN THE ATTEMPT). the parking lot is because best buy. You might also contrast this line with marriage and how those vows are supposed to be binding, although thats not always the case. ‘Til tonight do us part’ brings up the marriage vow (again) ‘until death do us part’. hes talking about how since he’s going to do it that day, that will be the day they are parted. 

i also wanted to look into the reasoning of hallelujah beyond the fact that that was what he was listening to, and google steadily reports that it means praise the lord or praise god and appears in several psalms in the Old Testament, typically at the beginning or the end. Its a phrase that, to me, symbolizes relief and new beginnings, and i think its interesting that its paired with this line in this way. 

Straying away from the musical explanation, ‘just off the key of reason’ could also be interpreted as ‘just off the verge of insanity’ (just off reason). 

thanking the lord while losing your mind… nothing patrick does in any of his songs is unintentional. to me the entire chorus itself feels like a musical panic attack.

lyricgenuis also brings up an excellent point with i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light. It’s kind of a regret sentence. it could mean a lover, someone he had glorified until he actually got to know them (gee, i do get that) or it could be his outlook on death and his suicide attempt in general. He thought that dying would be an escape, but in another light, looking back later, he can see it was not the right choice after all.

The second verse goes: 

“The road outside my house

 Is paved with good intentions

hired a construction crew 

cause’ its hell on the engine”

This entire verse is telling us this: pete is trying his very best to live, to get outside his house, to wade through the massive depressive slump and his view on how he just messes everything up, but no matter what he does, nothing works and he hurts everyone else (‘it’s hell on the engine’). Hes saying that his best is never good enough because whenever people try to help him- when he tries to help himself- it only backfires. The prechorus goes like this:

“And you are the dreamer

And we are the dream

i could write it better than you ever felt it”

i feel like everyones dreamed of being famous at some point of time. I know i have. I still want to be famous. Its the dream, i guess, being credited for accomplishments. We all want validation (how sad is that?) but these two lines, you are the dreamer and we are the dream is kind of like saying dreams can come true, because look at me, im living it. 

as for ‘i could write it better than you ever felt it’ lyricgenius does have a pretty decent explanation. it could ALSO, HOWEVER, mean not being able to put a name to things, but even if you feel numb inside, you can write it down. i for one have an entire moleskine filled with potential song lyrics and poetry, and every single line is something ive felt. 

I think that, excluding the chorus, my favorite verse in this song would have to be the one right after the chorus.

“My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Remix of your guts, your insides x-rayed

and one day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster

We’re a bull, your ears are just a china shop”

lyrical GOLD

I cant even decide which one i want to go through first so lets just start at the top. fall out boy was never known for being good; they were known for being different, weird, emo. ‘my words are my faith’ call to mind the mention of religion, something of which has been a controversial topic pretty much the entire time humans have been alive. he will fight to keep his ‘religion’ alive, even if it sours his name. And pete has spent his whole life writing; hes pretty much dedicated himself to this band, so it wont take much for him to throw away his name to keep it (perhaps this is linked to the best buy incident because he doesnt care anymore). 

Remix of your guts could mean someone changing the meaning of something you’ve poured your heart and soul into. your insides x-rayed is interpreted to mean being overanalyzed so much that the orignal meaning is lost (rip im doing that right now arent i) but honestly when i heard this line the first thing i thought of was that one time pete got his heart x rayed to give to his girlfriend, which was truly peak pete wentz. i dont think its correlated with the song but it would definitely be interesting

One day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster again its that LOOKING BACK. im a fucking sucker for nostalgia. Id get high on it if i could. Im so stuck in the past, but im trying to move on. Nostalgic for disaster,.. he probably misses the van days. those were definitely a disaster, but he can look back and go hey, that was one of the highlights of my life. 

We’re a bull and your ears are just a china shop calls back to the song’s second verse again-- it’s similar to hired a construction crew, 'cause’ it’s hell on the engine. It recalls the phrase a bull in a china shop which comes to mean ‘a clumsy person’. ‘a clumsy person breaking things’. He’s using a generalization (which I actually notice he does a lot, it takes the pressure off something being personal, it’s a tactic of YEP, YOU GUESSED IT, AVOIDANCE) to say that he will ruin everything he does, and that could translate into the listeners eventually, as well. 

The second prechorus of the song also ends with ‘I could write it better than you ever felt it’ but the first line is different. It goes:

“Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills”

This is so clearly influenced by the Best Buy Incident. You can choose to live, to take a chance, or you can take the pills and take the fast way out. This could also mean taking a break from medication (I’m pretty sure pete went off his meds for some time). By going off his medication in order to feel things (sometimes we take chances) it could harm him, but he’d rather do that than take the pills. 

Halfway through this essay i have come to the realization that im writing in a really light tone and it could be taken as im joking about this situation and for the record i am not joking about any of it, i am very serious, pete attempting to commit suicide was terrible and mental health is not something to joke about. i understand the weight of what happened and im not trying to make light of it im just trying to analyze how this event impacted his work- specifically this song in particular- and i just want it known that i dont take suicide lightly and while the mood of this is supposed to be analytical and easy to read, im not trying to be casual about any of it. ok thanks for reading this interlude 

anyway the first verse, the intro, is actually really hard to hear the words in the song because patrick does not enunciate at ALL and even though i know the lyrics i still cant tell what hes saying lol but anyway the first verse goes like this:

“It’s all a game of this or that, now versus then,

Better off against worse for wear

And youre someone who knows someone who knows someone

i once knew

and i just want to be a part of this”

The first line here i believe correlates to the pressure that pete felt as the frontman of fall out boy; their entire goal AS fall out boy was to take something current and differentiate it with a spin. often the fans would complain that the sound had changed (im looking at you, everyone who hated mania, i am glaring, mania is my musical wife) and often their new sound would be compared to the old sound, mostly by fans who didnt like anything after take this to your grave- thus, ‘now versus then’. ‘This or that’ could also relate to this but furthermore i think its the choices and sacrifices pete made as the frontman. Im not going to go into specifics but uhhh yeah.‘Better off against worse for wear’ makes me think of mcr’s set at wwwy fest when they dressed up super old as a stab at nostalgia.,, perhaps here pete is saying that the fans would rather them have their older sound and be less mentally stable rather than doing better off with something new.

‘And youre someone who knows someone who knows someone i once knew’ im not sure this is completely relevent and slash or connected with the previous part of the verse but its definitely connected with the next line : “and i just want to be a part of this”. again connecting it to sickly sweet nostalgia. Maybe its about him himself. He thought he knew himself five years ago maybe but now he doesnt, and he sort of wants that back, when he was freer, and now here he is in a best buy parking lot, overdosing on ativan. 

I think the only thing that i have left on this is the second half of verse two (fuck, this is what i get for doing this song out of order over the span of four days) so um:

“I love you in the same way, there’s a chapel in a hospital, 

One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door”

This might be the second part most linked to the best buy incident because it feels especially morbid, the idea of a chapel in a hospital, waiting for the people who are already dead. ‘One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door’ sort of illustrates someone who is ready to escape at a moment’s notice, someone who is preparing for the worst. it sort of reflects the feeling of waiting for someone to die. Chapel in a hospital definitely plays into the ‘waiting for someone to die’ factor. when you’re holding your breath to make sure your best friend in the world is still alive… fuck. I cant even imagine what that feels like. I’d also be preparing for the worst. 

The bridge to this song is interesting. It’s just the main chorus of the original Hallelujah but still in the key of D, and it has a slightly faster tempo than the original. And, of course, patrick is singing it. It gives the feeling of a climax, a deciding factor. given the fact that its the bridge and the whole point of a bridge is to make the turning point of a song, i guess that kind of makes sense, but it feels even more like you’re holding your breath with anticipation and the cusp of regret. 

anyway this song is just really interesting and there are. so many different ways to take the words of pete wentz. i should make a lyricgenius account. 

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/24/2023

new england winter: very cute and picturesque until you actually have to live here

listening

psycada by abstract, the opening track off the album hiking lung. a brief instrumental that sounds like a hazy-cicada-shimmer summer. it is a blisteringly hot day where you don't really have to do anything but even though you're out on the porch swing under the deck with a freezy pop it's not doing much. the vocals remind me very much of The Dandy Warhols once the rest of the album slides into more of a garage/psych rock vibe. a sort of understated fuzzy im-lying-down-right-now quality. i think these vocals would be background instead of lead in a more energetic track.

the album has several good tracks for the "datacore" playlist, which is full of mellow medium-paced instrumentals bc if i am alone with my thoughts while i clean addresses i will die

-

reading

i have Bullet Train on hold at the library but tbqh this section is probably going to be me gloating over various crypto crashes for the forseeable future. Molly White of web3isgoinggreat.com reports on the Three Arrows Capital guys setting up a new venture to (checks notes):

Not only that [both partners currently on the run from their creditors], but the exchange plans to focus on claims trading — that is, the trading of claims held by creditors against debtors who are undergoing bankruptcy proceedings, like FTX, Celsius, BlockFi, or Mt. Gox (throwback!). The fact that 3AC was a major catalyst in kicking off the string of bankruptcies we saw throughout 2022 was not lost on observers, with Nic Carter of the Castle Island venture capital firm commenting that the endeavor "is akin to arsonists returning to the scene of the crime and offering to charge their victims for buckets of water".

mwah. very much glass houses since castle island is also on the verge of going under due to its almost total focus on blockchain infrastructure but GOD. what a sentence.

unpaywalled bloomberg article on the wayback machine here.

this is some of the dumbest fucking bullshit ive ever read and im so fucking happy i no longer have to care about this at a professional level.

-

watching

Bullet Train (2022, dir. Leitch) asks "what if you put a whole bunch of assassins all on the same high-speed train?"

this is the glass onion of action movies. now i do like a perfect little puzzlebox of a movie made by people who really love movies, but this flavor of film is so fuckin smug about itself. this movie wants you to know it took AP Lit. this movie is a long variation of the whedon effect/"well THAT happened!” effect, where characters react to payoffs with the barest and briefest of setups an hour before in the movie. 

the thing that made me have a good time is this movie was directed by the guy who directed Atomic Blonde, one of my top ten movies and one of the best action movies of the last decade. LOVE an ensemble of goons all introduced with their own setup/backstory scenes. this film is seventy percent tightly choreographed fights with improvised weapons in tight spaces.

i am a simple woman. i like a bloody, disheveled man.

-

playing

alternating very fun and very unpleasant times with my big strong boy in wolfenstein: the new order. now, i am a little bit like "wow, you find the nazi prison camp level unpleasant? how shocking!" at myself. i was not really paying attention to the global rise of fascism in 2014 when this game came out bc i was busy dropping out of college and having a mental breakdown, but the nazis in shooters i have played or watched since 2014, especially call of duty: wwii, seem defanged compared to wolfenstein.

i will probably have more and more coherent things to say once i play more of this game, bc i am just about to bust out of prison at about ~9.5 hours of playtime. apparently this is the halfway point? after the first enigma code i looked up what the other ones do, decided i don't care about other game modes, and have not been trying especially hard to be a completionist about each level/unlock all the perks by doing different kills. i am talking to everyone and looking at everything and reading all the posters, and it is interesting how such a fast-paced shooter is adapting so well to me walking around and taking my sweet fucking time at whatever difficulty level is one below the recommended difficulty level.

a note on the plot-bearing moldy concrete. like yeah mold will grow on most things, including concrete, and yeah i guess the moldy concrete will kill you slower than the nazis will, but even though i love how lived in and cozy the kreisau circle hideout feels, it gives me the heebie jeebies. mold is quite bad for you. please prioritize another railing over another couch. also what the fuck math is tekla doing here??? i could not get a clearer shot even on max settings sorry

GOD i loved the london nautilus moon exhibit. yes i WOULD like to dual wield shotguns shooting nazis while running up and around a giant moon model. level perfectly tailored for me. HOWEVER! i would rather be shot in the head quickly and cleanly instead of trying to maneuver an EXPERIMENTAL HELICOPTER through a bunch of tunnels in creepy and wet conditions. being shot in the head would, again, be a much much cleaner and quicker death than any potential helicopter crash over the water. i hate planes to begin with but holy fuck helicopters no FUCKING thanks (ign screenshot)

for such a power fantasy of a game there sure are a hell of a lot of stealth sections. no stealth game is ever going to hold up to dishonored but boy did i really want these sections to feel more like dishonored.

-

making

fussing around with a f/allout: new vegas courier six/veronica/christine riff on classic noir film The Big Sleep for femslash feb. it's fun to write six even bitchier than usual

“Did you want to be the detective or the lady?” Six asked.

“Both of them were pretty cold fish.” It was very stupid to wait when she could have this immediately. Veronica flipped the covers back on her way over. 

“Harsh words to throw at a woman, especially when she’s already in your bedroom.” Christine clutched at Six’s silk pajama lapels as she was tipped back up. Six’s other hand dropped to play with her dressing gown tie. 

“Now, baby, a fish is–” They were never ever going to let Six live that one down. 

“You know,” Six said with as much dignity as anyone groping her wife’s ass could have, “being shot in the head — twice! took all the memories of fish from my previous aquatic life as a Shi Town mermaid.”

[jeoncooky]

My WINGS Tour Experience (Hong Kong 14052017)

After remaking I’m posting this again to have this somewhere safe in my blog lol

I was wondering whether I should write something down about my experience from this Sunday. As some of you know, I went to BTS’s concert in Hong Kong this Sunday (14th May) and even though I don’t know whether any of my followers are interested to hear about my thoughts of the experience, I thought I would write this anyway so that I would have some written memories left in a few months after this date.

I booked the tickets through my friend back in March during the pre-sale, so unfortunately I can’t help you much if you happen to have questions about them. I got a B2 standing zone ticket (the last one they had on pre-sale apparently!!) and it was 1705HKD in total, so not too bad considering the concert was 2,5 hours in total. Asia-World Expo in general is actually not that big arena, I was actually surprised how small the Hall 1 was! The standing area was not full at all even though the concert was sold out, so there was a lot of room to move around!

Okay, back to the day of the concert. As I wanted to buy some merch, I went to the arena at 10am in the morning thinking there wouldn’t be much people. Turns out, of course there were a lot of people. I ended up lining up for about two hours to get my t-shirt (which luckily didn’t sell out omg i was so worried!!) and I even had a really nice American army with me as my company and we got to talk a lot during those hours haha. All the people I met were super nice and friendly even though not everyone spoke English, but I appreciated it anyway! There were people handing out things (as always i guess) and one girl in the line to the security check asked which member was my bias (I reluctantly responded Tae, but I was so conflicted HOW CAN I CHOOSE OK) and she handed me this cute bag with tae’s picture on it omg (I get excited about the smallest things ok?).

After getting my merch I returned back to my hotel and only returned to the arena just before 4pm. Turns out, they opened the doors from the holding area at 4pm and I just lost my queueing place by being late (like 15 mins)… But it wasn’t too bad, as I said, there was a lot of space and I was actually in the second row at the back (like really close to one part of the stage!) I’ve never been in a concert where my ticket has been checked so many times but lol maybe that’s just me.

Personally I think the first part of the concert was musically the best (Not Today, Baepsae, Am I Wrong(?) ahhh I don’t remember to be honest), or perhaps I was just the most hyped during those few minutes because they were the first minutes after seeing BTS for the first time. The moment the fabric covering the stage dropped and the first notes of Not Today started blasting around the arena were magical! It’s just my personal opinion, but some songs clearly worked better live than others. Cypher 4, Not Today, Baepsae, First Love, Awake, Reflection, Wings, 2,3 and Spring Day were my favourites, while I didn’t really feel that much during 21st century girls (even though I love the song!). I gotta give it to the boys tho, they had so much energy throughout the concert that even I was exhausted (and I didn’t even do anything but sing along and dance and scream ehe). They looked semi tired though, but that is given considering how busy they’ve been in the past few weeks and months. I hope after this tour they get at least some time to rest!

During the first part they also introduced themselves and it was even more amazing and cute than i expected! Suga’s *i-pretend-i-didn’t-hear-you* is hilarious and Hobi’s I’M YOUR HOPE IS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD.

After the first part they did together, Jungkook appeared on stage alone with some dancers to do Begin. LET ME TELL YOU I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DANCING BUT HE IS AMAZING AND I LOVED IT AHHHHHHHHHHHH DID I REALLY HEAR THAT SONG LIVE OMG YES.

Next was Jimin’s Lie, and tbh my mind blanks when I think about that stage. He is gorgeous and omg the part where he dances with his eyes blindfolded AND THE PART WHERE THEY LIFT HIM ahhhhhhhhh. And his vocals were amazing, I really loved the high notes!!!

Suga’s First Love was simply beautiful. Unlike other songs before, the audience actually quieted down and mostly just listened to Yoongi’s rap and only shouted a few words along him. When the song ended(?) the audience started repeatedly shouting Yoongi’s name (Min Yoongi, Min Yoongi, Ming Yoongi - I felt like crying tbh it felt magical how taken the whole arena was by him)

Next was the vocal line’s Lost, and it was also the first song that was performed semi close to me (on the middle stage). The song is not my favourite, but I still loved it (well I loved the whole concert so is there really need for me to stay this over and over again lolololol). Then the rap line appeared for Save ME and OMG YES PLEASE SAVE ME. Was Dope next? I just remember Jungkook doing something but idk. And INU came as well (the audience exploded ok but that was expected INU IS THAT GOOD)

Out of the solo songs Reflection was actually one of the best live - it’s not my favourite from the album, but it really works live. I could feel the emotions in Namjoon’s voice and when the audience started chanting “We Love You” towards the end of the songs I got chills all around my body I swear.

For some reason I don’t remember much of Stigma??? BUT V BBY I LOVE YOU AND THE HIGH NOTES AT THE END OMFG B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! There was supposed to be a fan project for V’s song but for some reason I didn’t see people holding up the sign? :///

Then MAMA! It works really well live and it’s such a fun song to sing along! It was mother’s day, so it felt even more special that day. AND THE END WHEN HOBI SMILES AND THANKS HIS MOM AND THE AUDIENCE SINGS ALONG AND OMFG

Awake was amazing! Jin’s vocals were on point that night, and he is one of the members who really stood out that night. The long high note really hit me personally and ahhhhhhhhhhh I loved it so much! There was also supposed to be a project for Jin’s song as well but idk what happened to it???

THEN CYPHER 4 OMG I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER BEEN THAT HYPED ABOUT ANYTHING THAT SONG WAS GREATER THAN GREAT AND DON’T LET ME GET STARTED ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY LOOKED AND SOUNDED AND OH HOW AM I ALIVE

I think Fire came after that? Maybe? 3:33 was as impactful as I thought it would be! I think Jimin fell right after that though, and I was so worried for a few moments but he seemed to be okay afterwards. Jimin seemed probably the most tired that night tho, or maybe I just imagined it but I really hope he’s getting a lot of rest!!!!

During N.O I lost it because that was the first time BTS walked right by me I WAS LIKE 3 METERS AWAY I COULD SEE SWEAT ON THEIR FOREHEADS I AM STILL NOT OKAY LIKE HOW DO THEY LOOK SO PERFECT IRL IT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE. Like I knew they are good-looking but guys, it really isn’t photoshop you’re seeing YOU’RE SEEING BASICALLY PERFECTION omfg. Suga, Jungkook and Namjoon walked right past me (Suga was so cool?? That’s what I remember thinking… JK did a cute little spin and NAMJOON DID A BODY ROLL AND I THINK I DIED I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT RUDENESS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I STILL CANNOT UNSEE IT NAMJOON WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY can you see how struck i was by rapmon)

Because they were so close for the rest of the concert I think my judgement of anything musical was just gone, but oh well. During No More Dream and Danger rest of the members came by my area too (first V, then Jimin, then maybe Jin and Hobi ahhhhhh i don’t remember??). Jimin was so cool as well omg!

My mind kinda blanks after that, but Boy in Luv, Run and 21st century girls happened. I remember screaming a lot. Yeah.

BOY MEETS EVIL IS IMPORTANT wow Hobi is not from this world. He was far away but the song just makes you so hyped and his dancing is out of this worldddddd. It’s kinda sad they cut the song just before the chorus thing at the end lmao the audience started to sing it and then it cut :((( Before they disappeared for a while they did BS&T, and I just remember V’s parts tbh but it was great ok it was great.

They obviously had some small speeches in between, but they were mostly in Cantonese-ish (sometimes Korean), so I cannot tell you much about what they were about. But it didn’t take away from the experience tbh! Suga’s face at one point was hilarious (I think he forgot how to pronounce his line?? I was thinking “same yg, same lmao). And Jin’s hanger heart was so extra but cute hahahaha.

Then came a short VCR in Chinese so too bad, I still don’t know what i was actually about SO ANY OF YOU WHO KNOW PLEASE TELL ME I WAS SO CONFUSED AND LOST hahhahaha

Photography and videos were actually not allowed in the arena and there were people stopping audience from filming but i think they kinda gave up in the end?? Because everyone basically had their phones up (I might have done that as well for a few seconds tbh, but I really tried to focus on the concert and not touch my phone for the most of it).

After some time Bangtan appeared back on stage to do Outro:Wings (and we did the BTS HK fan union fan project, slogan saying “Together let’s fly even higher” in Korean. Afterwards NJ told us they saw the signs and thanked us (and told us what it means in English haha. I also held the sign upside down for like the first 20 seconds because they were walking towards me and I panicked ok). During that song they came to my part again, and wow they were suddenly so energetic?? I’M PROUD TO SAY I’VE SEEN JIN’S HAND KISSES LIVE AND THEY ARE CHEESY BUT GREAT ahahaha. I remember looking at JK’s earrings and thinking that they looked cool (now that i think about it afterwards why on earth did i spend time looking at his earrings lmao). V came by as well and did his adorable flower pose right in front of me ;__; I’m not ok. Suga just walked coolly by us again ahahaha he didn’t really waste time posing much lol ‘S OK I STAN THE RIGHT MAN GOSH I ADORE HIM. Hobi flew by us as well (like literally flew with his hands on his sides OMFG HOW IS HE SO EXTRA AND CUTE). Towards the end they returned back to the middle to do Hobi’s rap (Tae looks at Hobi so lovingly when he does his part???? wow he is a fan)

Then Namjoon thanked us and told us our time was approaching the end so they would do two more songs. 2,3 started playing and I legit started crying (ehe). As it was May 14th (Rose Valentines day?) we did a pink ocean for Bangtan - it was really pretty!

Last song was Spring Day and did I cry? Yes. The song is very meaningful and personal to me, and only then I realized Bangtan would be leaving soon and wow it was depressing but beautiful. Afterwards they walked to the end and bowed and thanked us a few more times and then returned back to the front AND WOW THE POSES THEY DID I MEAN YOU’VE SEEN JIN&JK&YG etc videos going around wow they are beautiful and cute and precious I love them so much.

Oh wow this is way too long, messy and probably not even good but I wanted to write something in order to have something to read when I really want to remember things. The night was amazing, even though I didn’t eat the whole day and almost fainted at some point and apparently screwed up my knee (it’s 2 days later and I still can’t walk properly LOL) and the flight tickets cost a lot but IT WAS DEFINITELY 100% WORTH IT. If you ever have a chance to see Bangtan, I recommend it, it’s worth it.

So yeah, this Sunday happened. It was beautiful. I love them so much. I basically owe them my life, my happiness and I’m so grateful. I wish them great things in life and I hope some day I’ll have a chance to see them again ♥

[meetmeatthecoda]

so I made the mistake of scrolling through your blog while I had "the music of the night" from the phantom of the opera stuck in my head, and I say mistake because now I am in PAIN wishing for a tbl-poto crossover of some sort, honestly anything lizzington with some phantom x christine vibes would be kinda cool ghhhhghghhh (although red would never drop a chandelier on lizzy. tom though...... 🤔) (but. ngl. there is some delicious potential to play around with red's part in liz's backstory vs. christine having the phantom as her dad's ""angel of music""... and maybe making the phantom's deformity related to red's burn scars?? idk idk idk but DELICIOUS POTENTIAL)

but uh. my agony aside, what do you think of that?! if you're a fan of phantom I would love to hear any au headcanons you have!! 😃😃

(if you're not feel free to ignore this sorey to bother you aaaaah)

xoxo 👻

Hiya, anon!! 😄 Firstly, can I just say that I'm flattered you were scrolling through my blog, in any condition? K, thanks 😍😍 Okay, secondly... OMG. A TBL-POTO crossover?!?! which btw I definitely read as tbl-potato crossover at first & I was maximum confused lmfao but HELL YES, SIGN ME UP 🤩🤩🤩 I love the POTO movie with Gerard Butler & Emmy Rossum, & the score is just to die for, all hail Andrew Lloyd Webber!! I went through such a POTO phase in middle school & it's still near & dear to my heart!! But omggggg I've never thought about it before, but you're so right, there is so much potential for a perfect Red role with the Phantom, with the father-related backstory & the burn scars!! And lmfao Tom dropping a chandelier on Liz is perfectly in character imo hahaha As you say, DELICIOUS POTENTIAL *elmo-on-fire.gif* Needless to say, I certainly am a POTO fan & my brain is whirring at the thought of headcanons!! Hmmm, I'm thinking... Liz as Christine (obvi), Red as the Phantom (double obvi), but I literally can't stand the thought of Tom or Ressler as Raoul bc he/Patrick Wilson is just far too hot & likeable soooo OH ARAM AS RAOUL DUH!!, plus maybe Meera or Samar as Meg, Mr. Kaplan as Madame Giry, maybe Cooper & Ressler as the two dudes who buy the opera house, & OH maybe Jolene or Gina (wow, #throwback) & Tom as Carlotta & her annoying hubby dude!! Am I forgetting anybody major?? Boy, this is fun 😏😁😎 Anyway, this is clearly no bother at all, thank you so much for bringing such a fun ask to my inbox, anon, I appreciate it so much!! And xoxo & ghost emoji right back at ya!! (very seasonal btw, extra kudos to you, tee hee) Thank you again, my friend, & much, much love to you, of course!! ❤️

[waveridden]

all the prime numbers for fic writer ask!

thank you for testing my basic mathematical knowledge. let's go

1: fic you're most proud of

i have several for different reasons lol but i was thinking about this powerful throwback earlier so i'll drop it in here: forward momentum is a rock band au i wrote when i was like 17 based on cw's wildly popular program the 100. it's a little odd in places because. i was like 17. but it was the first long project that i finished and it is something i still feel a lot of fondness for and i am so proud of it because i did it! it was the first project i committed to in that way. happy 7th birthday to that fic

2: what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

writing stuff during the pandemic is very much looking back and going "oh, that was about the pandemic!" and nothing did that so extremely as stand tall, which is a blaseball fic about the snackrifice. i reread it a while ago and i was like. oh huh! a story about people experiencing physical separation who have to connect with one another via storytelling and adjust to the distance and loneliness! wonder what could've inspired that!

putting everything else under a cut bc i just realized how long this is going to be

3: what's a fic you're emotionally attached to?

oh i'm attached to many things i've written lol but i am going to shout out syrinx which is a taz balance merle character study about religion and is one of those things that i have just. always liked! sometimes there are ups and downs and sometimes "liking" things i write means going "yeah that was good" but this is one that i have always fully enjoyed and thought was sweet and i am immeasurably fond of it

5: what's a fic of your own you won't read?

my ofmd fic because it freaks me out looking at how many comments and kudos it has lol. i know this sounds like a humble brag but like 20% of the kudos i have ever gotten is on that fic and it's intensely intimidating

7: how does receiving or not receiving feedback impact you?

wow what a complicated question lol uhhh. the person whose opinion i care about the most is mine, let's start there. i try to write things that i am proud of and happy with. that being said! i like getting comments and kudos! i think it's cool when strangers read things i write and enjoy them, and sometimes it's frustrating when i put in a lot of time on something and it just...... doesn't get a big response. and at the same time i am always grateful for anyone who takes the time. it's one of those things where there are a dozen contradictory and equally true statements that i could say. i wish i could say the numbers don't matter to me, but they do! if i didn't want people to read what i write, i wouldn't post it. (there's plenty of stuff that i don't post!)

11: has a fic you've written ever caused issues/controversy?

there's a story here that i'm not going to tell lol but real ones remember free play (derogatory). my second answer is i wrote a page for the blaseball wiki recently that somehow indirectly resulted in a couple lore jams and major rewrites and issues. i don't really follow how like nobody told me i was involved but i guess i was

13: do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? why?

oh i'm so proud of it! this is a skill i've worked on and like i'm not kidding myself about my odds of getting published but that's not the goal, the goal is writing things for myself and my friends that i like and i am GREAT at that.

17: what is the best interaction/feedback/engagement you've received on a fic?

long comments make me happy! actually the thing that makes me lose it is transformative works, i've received three podfics and a translation and a sequel and some art (and of COURSE jamie who sent this ask sent me a physical bound copy of my d20bb fic destination as well as leaving a comment that delighted me and that's like. one of the all time coolest things.) idk i just think it's neat when my art moves people to make more art

19: if you could write an ideal fic, what would you include?

oh MAN what a question. uhh i'm never good at listing favorite tropes/plot points or things like that but i WILL say something i really struggle with is like. subplots and plot motion and things that feel external to the characters. so my ideal fic would include a strong subplot. (i am DYING to try and write a mystery sometime, i just haven't had a good idea yet.)

[brooklynboysficrecs]

Ria’s Top 10 Canon-verse Fics

So, I’m a little surprised I’ve held off on doing this particular Top 10 as long as I have, if only because this does cover the majority of stucky fics that have been written. It also contains some of my all-time favorite fics, which I will be screaming about below. You’ve been warned. But anyway, this is getting down into the nitty-gritty of why I love stucky -- the original ‘verse, with the original storyline (although there are a fair few canon-divergent fics in here, I’m sure). Pure, unadulterated Steve Rogers loving Bucky Barnes. What more can you ask for, honestly? You could ask for it to be legit canon, but lmao, no, we don’t expect things like that, especially not from the MCU writers. Also, some of the fics I might’ve included in this list are recced in an ask I got a while ago, so go check that out for some mostly-canon angst. Regardless, here are my personal Top 10 canon-verse fic recs:

1. Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar. Alright, buckle up friends, because this is the end-all, be-all of my favorite stucky fics. I have reread it probably four or five times in the four years I’ve been in this fandom, and it hits me just as hard every single time. This is canon-divergent post-WS, where Bucky’s come-down from his Hydra conditioning is accompanied by a drug addiction and two smart-mouthed kids he rescued from the streets. Steve literally loves nothing more than he loves Bucky and he is determined to bring Bucky home, kids included. There is just -- so much I love about this story. I can’t possibly fit it all into a little blurb. But this is my favorite stucky fic, hands-down. It’s a must-read if you can handle the incredibly sensitive topics it covers, which means it’s not for everyone. But it has my highest seal of approval. 

2. Perilous Underside of the World by eyres. I reread this recently because I was in the mood for both angst and badass Bucky, and this delivered in spades. Steve’s been kidnapped and held captive by Ross for months, tortured and experimented on, and it as devastating as it sounds. Cue Bucky and the rest of Team Cap coming in for a rescue mission and an adrenaline-filled adventure through the Antarctic wasteland. The summary says it all, honestly: Steve throws a snow-mobile at a helicopter in this one.  

3. Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk. A lot of fics are enhanced by visual media, usually some type of fanart, but few are incomplete without it -- this fic is one of them. It’s a look through in-universe media depictions of Captain America over the years, with real-life casting and amazingly done posters for the movies. The various Avengers are there to react to it all and it’s nothing short of glorious. 

4. Came Back Haunted* by Brenda. You guys should know how much I love Brenda’s writing, since I waxed poetic about it when I was doing the rec for Prince Charming, but I’m going to say it again: I love her writing. And this is yet again another fic series that will tear at your heart and stitch you back together again. It features, among other things: Bucky and Thor friendship; a road-trip; dark Steve; and bearded Steve! All good things. It’s been a while since I’ve read this, but I’m pretty assured there is much angst to be found here as well, plus the requisite happy ending, because, as previously mentioned, I don’t do unhappy endings. 

5. Tender is the Ghost* by Hark_bananas. OH WOW. Okay. So. I started reading this series right before the second part had been published, and I just. Fell in love with it. The first part is set right after Bucky turned himself into SHIELD, and it features Steve and Bucky re-learning about each other (and themselves) through a closed door, considering Steve isn’t allowed to see Bucky face-to-face. And the second part picks up once Bucky is ready to go home with Steve, and it’s. So sweet. Bucky and Steve recovering, together, and finding love along the way. Bucky loves plants. What more could you ask for?

6. Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail* by owlet. I think this is probably one of the most popular series in this fandom, and for good reason. It’s Bucky setting himself a new goal after the fallout of Project Insight, and that goal is a protection detail for Steve Rogers, well before he has his memories to back up the need for such a thing. Bucky and Steve don’t get romantically involved until much later in the series, but their friendship is a thing of beauty in this, as is Bucky learning how to be human again, through coffee, grilled cheese, and The Olds, the elderly neighbors he comes to care for while he’s watching Steve’s back from across the street. I adore this series and I think most people would be hard pressed to find anything they don’t like about it. 

7. The Blood Will Dry by castiowl. There are clones in this one. It might be the sci-fi nerd in me, but honestly that’s enough information to hook me already. But this fic is a fantastic, gripping read from start to finish, and the clones are only a part of that. It’s another fic that written right after The Winter Soldier came out, and so it has a lot of the hallmarks of that era: Bucky dealing with his conditioning, coming back to himself and Steve, Hydra-hunting missions, some kidnapping, unfortunate throwbacks to torture, and Steve having to figure his own shit out right alongside Bucky. 

8. To Stop My Mind From Wandering by Lynchy8. This one is a little shorter than the other fics on this list, but it’s still one of my favorites, and for a much different reason than the others. This is Bucky and Steve separated for the majority of the fic, with Bucky taking up residence in Steve abandoned apartment while he’s off being Captain America and also looking for Bucky. Bucky does home repairs for Steve. Steve broods and worries. Bucky heals on his own terms and it’s lovely. And the ending is very sweet when Steve finally does come home.

9. despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximiter. AKA The Mask Fic. Which. Jesus Christ. This should’ve gone in with my angst fic recs, because this will hurt you, in the best possible way. Bucky’s mask doesn’t come off, and so there’s no pivotal moment of realization for Steve, no hellfire determination to ensure Bucky survives their fights against all odds. But he’s saved regardless, and the rest of the fic is the team trying to communicate with him, learn his story, all while Bucky can’t speak and the mask physically cannot come off. Like I said, it’s a recipe for Pain, but the pay-off is more than worth it, in my opinion. 

10. waiting for the winter by coldhope. Also just recently reread this one, and I loved the progression of Steve and Bucky’s relationship here as well. It also has Bucky befriending all of the Avengers, not just Natasha or Sam; getting to see from other characters’ POV how their perception of Bucky changes as the fic goes on was so interesting, since it’s not something I’ve seen done in many fics. Which also might be a personal thing on my part, who knows. Anyway. Good fic. Steve and Bucky don’t take forever to figure out their feelings, but they do take a while to get on the same page with each other, which should surprise absolutely no one who has ever read a stucky fic before.

*series, not individual story titles

[vulqan]

OKAY i am off work so here we go FINALE THOUGHTS

⋆ i had Thoughts and Feelings on Sam as Cap while i was watching the episode (& during prior episodes as well, really), but after considering it & reading what’s been put out in the tag after the finale, i’ve ultimately changed my mind on wanting Sam to have his own superhero identity outside of Captain America. this show fought incredibly hard to show the way Black people have been (and still are) treated in America, & i think they handled it in a way that acknowledges that racism isn’t ✨magically over✨ now that Sam’s bearing the name. i love the design of Sam’s new Cap/Falcon hybrid suit, although i wish they’d gone with a majority-red design as a throwback to the Falcon suit. there were so many moments in the fight scenes where i just had to sit back & be like “Wow. That’s Captain America.” 😭💖 i’m always going to miss Steve and hate what they did to his character in Endgame, but Sam deserves the hell out of this.

⋆ making Sharon the Power Broker was lazy as HELL. they telegraphed it so hard we all saw it coming from the moment she was re-introduced as a character. i would, in theory, have been fine with this choice if they hadn’t made it blatantly fucking obvious that that’s who she was; a little subtlety goes a long way (although this show doesn’t really do subtle, does it?).

⋆ when i was scrolling through the tag right after watching the episode, i saw someone who said something about wishing they’d given Bucky the “White Wolf” title & while i love that and would die for that eventually, i think that would have taken focus from Sam & his accomplishments & i’m okay with him just…reclaiming the Winter Soldier title. TWS can be a scary robot-armed man with a brain to back it up, okay??

⋆ can i just. the moment with Mr. Nakajima at the end. Bucky getting emotional. I’M getting emotional. WHAT the fuck. i'll have more thoughts on this eventually i am SO SURE.

⋆ along that line of thought, THE FUCKING COOKOUT. HIM PLAYING WITH THE KIDS ON THE WAY IN WITH THE CAKE. HIM JUST CASUALLY DANGLING LIKE THREE KIDS OFF OF HIS FUCKIN ARM AT THE END. HELLO???? HELLO. I LOVE UNCLE BUCKY. i deadass yelled at the screen "ARE U FUCKIN KIDDING ME" 💀

⋆ can we just talk about how the US government is probably experimenting on the bodies of Karli & every single fuckin one of the super soldiers that were blown up at the end of the episode?? like, realistically. there’s no way they just said “oh these have no further use to us now, let’s just bury em”. like, no, they absolutely have them in some nasty-ass lab somewhere trying to recreate the serum again. you know they are, i know they are, i want to read fic about how they are & how hard they're gonna get fucked over because of it lmfao.

⋆ NOT impressed with how the Flag Smashers' arc was handled in this show. i'm just not. i didn't connect with Karli as a character at all, i know they had some shit cut for time/because of Covid but like, respectfully, i don't care, do better. their arc could have been SO GOOD. i LOVE a sympathetic "villain".

⋆ leaving the Power Broker storyline open...cool. fine, like i said, i think having Sharon be the Power Broker (at least in the way that they did it) was boring and lazy. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i probably won't be watching if they decide to do any kind of spinoff anything with her.

⋆ this is still a john walker hate blog 💖

[fallingin-like]

november 11

taller than giants by @allforthebee ​ [requested by @horton-hears-a-doctor-who]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this wonderful fic is a lovely take on neil and andrew as best friends in university. it’s a softer version of these characters but maintains the great dynamic between them we’re familiar with.  this fic will break you apart and knit you back together.

this fic was such a joy to reread. i remember reading it for the first time, eagerly waiting for the next update because i was so invested in the story. even now, when it has been a while since i’ve last read it, i immediately recognized the name when it was requested. the thing that i remember the most was how amazing you are at creating tone. you do an amazing job integrating the characters into this au and creating the relationships between them.

parts that i really enjoyed:

”the press of his cheek against the kitchen window as he tried to capture the storm clouds that lined the sky like soft, gray wool.” the imagery of this is so beautiful, i love the contrast i feel between the storm and the softness of the wool. something comforting but also frightening.

this whole section on neil’s childhood. we get a picture of what was happening, but more importantly, how neil experienced it. we see the things that he focused (the blue hair, the spaghetti-o’s) there’s such a sense of melancholy when i read this, but also a distance that tells me how neil has separated himself from the child that he was. 

”’my phone died.’ it was only a partial lie. technically, it was wedged between the seat of his car, but it could be dead” i LOVE scenes where we see how neil rationalizes half-lies. they’re funny, but because it’s so neil.

”matt continued, oblivious to neil and allison, who were holding a silent contest on who could maintain their eye roll longer.” ahh you do a fantastic job establishing how everyone interacts with each other, the easy-going relationship that exists.

”right, you’re neil josten, which means you’re fine and you don’t swing.” LOL add on that he has a smart mouth and that’s basically a character summary

”sunlight dripped from the sky, seeping into the cracks of the sidewalk and spilling bright against andrew’s pale head.” oh my goodness, what a gorgeous sentence!!! 

ahhhh the arizona conversation is so cute!! i like this sort of nickname, it’s so fresh and also helps me know where the fic is taking place (bc i do not know anything about american geography. i spent the longest time imagining palmetto was near california??)

andrew is an early education major!! that is sooo soft. it’s likely very fitting for this au as well! canon andrew i can’t see wanting to spend that much time around people, but you cannot deny that he is a caretaker. especially with his rough childhood (although i hope it wasn’t so bad in this au)

”do i have to get you a necklace, zoey?” oH my i don’t get a lot of pop culture references because i don’t watch much tv but wOW what a throwback.

”he watched as the sun dipped below the horizon, the sky dripping honey, pale and gold, bright against the faded dashboard of his car.” how are you so good at writing these descriptions of the sky? so so wonderful how you paint the scene

”they sold everything from cigarettes and beer, to fungal cream and laxatives. it wasn’t the greatest. but it was the cheapest” what a mood

ANDREW TEXTING NEIL WHILE IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIM THIS IS SO CUTE

okay okay okay. i know that i have been raving about your imagery, but this scene of andrew and neil going out at night is so amazing. i can’t even describe how much i love it. you do such an amazing job at capturing how neil sees andrew. neil keeping all of his test shots of andrew? ahhhh but i love so much this bit on andrew and the mood “neil smiled and took another photo of andrew drenched in moonlight” i think this is one of my favourite sentences. i reread this and felt so strongly. i don’t comment often on fics, something i have been getting better at this year. but when i first read this fic i was so blown away that i couldn’t not comment. when i came across this sentence i knew that past me hadn’t been able to leave without telling you how i felt.

”neil took another look at the flimsy menu, his eyes lifting over the edge to see andrew staring at him. neil blinked. he was used to it, but there was something different in his eyes.” i would really like to know what was going through andrew’s mind during this. 

andrew avoiding neil actually broke my heart. you know when you read something angsty and you get a physical reaction? that feeling of pain just in between your ribs that hurts but also feels strangely good? that is how i felt. neil’s uncertainty of what’s happening with andrew, not sure if he was in a relationship with someone else, the tension between them at dan’s show? when neil finally confronts andrew and he just keeps interrupting him, i really can’t handle it. i think you made the right decision, splitting up the chapters but i’m definitely thankful that i’m rereading this when all the chapters have been published. neil’s interaction with kevin made everything more lighthearted at first, but wowow “… a slow burn eased into his chest, filling his lungs with lighter fluid. he took in a steadying breath. he needed to keep the flames in his chest from scorching kevin day” loved this!

ahh renee and neil’s conversation was so good, soo validating. neil’s uncertainty is so heartbreaking

as much as i like certain fics that include when andrew is jealous, i’m kind of glad that nothing happens between kevin and neil. it would be too much too soon. 

neil forgetting his key is so full circle, the idea of him spending nights sleeping in his trunk, wrapped in blankets until andrew comes and collects him makes me so soft. “some things aren’t worth losing” i love this phrase. i’m curious, when did andrew leave it? that evening/day? before then?

all of the pictures of andrew, i can’t quite explain how i feel when i read about neil looking over all these memories of them. there’s something just so lovely about it all

the resolution of this was just so perfect. 

as you could probably tell, i absolutely adore your descriptions of the weather and how they correlate with neil’s mood. you were so good at building tension and finding a way to resolve it, when i was reviewing this, i had to stop after chapter 3 because i couldn’t wait to find out what would happen next, i needed to finish the fic before i could go back and take my time going through it. i loved your characterization, you made everyone feel so real, and this fic flowed so nicely because of it. i liked the way that you captured neil’s sexuality, and the confusion that he had, i saw myself in it. the way that neil and andrew’s relationship develops through this fic is so wonderful to witness, the way that they learn about each other and themselves. what a beautiful fic, thank you so much for writing it!

[silverinia]

Role Reversal: On Throwbacks and Stabbing Old Wounds because 💔😍🤷‍♀️

Okay wow, not gonna lie, I just had to reread that one because I had no clue what to say about it. But thank you so much for suggesting it, I still remember that I did not like it as much when I wrote it and today when I read it, I thought it actually wasn’t that bad at all 😁❤

Headcanon #1: Ever since Kurt said that they were starting over, Diane has a hard time realizing that moving on from past mistakes doesn’t only imply the other person’s mistakes. She’s always been overly critical with herself, and so she still blames herself for the things that went wrong the first time around. Her paranoia of losing him, of pushing him out and messing up again, her worry of falling back into old, unhealthy patterns and the constant self-doubt that she shows but never actually manages to voice are a side of her that he hasn’t gotten to see before, it’s so drastically different from the way it had once been between them. And while he knows that they’re no bad signs per se, because they imply how serious she is about making this work, he wishes that she could just grant herself the same forgiveness she’d granted him with and allow herself to commit to fully starting over. Because her new habit of holding a constant grudge against herself is killing him, especially when he knows that he is the reason why she feels this way.

Headcanon #2: Small and quite normal couple problems aren’t easy to identify for her after all the major crises they've been through together (and, to be fair, apart). She worries too much about little things that he would never even call “issues”, but he gets where she’s coming from. And by communicating in a way they had never communicated anything with each other before, he learns how to reassure her in those moments, and she learns to trust his trust in them, and, most importantly, in her.

Fact #1: I was fairly drunk when I wrote this (SHOCKING, I know). And on my period. I pulled an all-nighter (again, wrote all of this in one night), killed a cheap bottle of red and bled like someone had shot me in the uterus. Then I posted this fic and took a nap at 5 am. Now that I think about it, it’s not too surprising that I didn’t like the fic all that much at the time.

Fact #2: I really just realized that I actually like the plot. The contrast of their everyday life back in TGW compared to now is really interesting to me and I wanted to write about that instead of the rather obvious seduction-plot that was the first obvious thing the prompt indicated (reminder: this was a prompt fic. The prompt was “kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing”). That’s a pretty cool change of heart. On another note, the title, which I thought was quite funny when I posted the fic (I was really really drunk), does things to my brain that I cannot even put into words. Because I hate it. I absolutely fucking hate it.

Fact #3: This is the only piece of fanfic I sent to a friend and reader before I posted it. And that was the moment I understood why I prefer the occasional typo in my fics over having an actual beta reader. The waiting is the worst, and it did absolutely nothing for my posting-anxiety.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 204: Chintetsu

Previously on BnHA: Shouto left Endeavor on read. Team TodoIidaShoujiRo attacked Team TetsuHonePonySen head-on, hitting them with a wave of ice and freezing them all in place. But it turns out Honenuki’s quicksand quirk is actually a “softening” quirk which can soften anything he touches. He used that to melt the ice to allow his teammates to escape. It also turns out that he had pre-treated some of the surrounding area with his quirk, and Ojiro and Iida came crashing down from their hiding spots shortly after as the softened ground gave way beneath them. Sen attacked Ojiro with his drill quirk while Pony took on Shouji. Meanwhile Tetsu went for Shouto, realizing a direct attack was his best bet. And Honenuki trapped Iida under a layer of the softened ice, but then made the mistake of rehardening it, intending to keep him stuck in place. Instead, Iida blasted free with his Recipro, revealing that he’s built up his endurance to the special move. So now we’ll see if he can take Honenuki down.

Today on BnHA: We get a wholesome Iida flashback to when Tensei explained how to upgrade his Recipro by -- wait, what? Mutilating his own fucking leg?! Holy shit. That’s not wholesome at all. What the fuck. But anyway, it worked I guess because back in the present day Iida is zipping along at speeds faster than Gran fucking Torino, and he’s able to maintain this speed for up to ten whole minutes. The only downside is that he can’t fully control himself because he’s so goddamn fast and so he keeps skidding around. Anyway, so Honenuki is like “nope” and gets the fuck out of there. Meanwhile Sen continues to whoop Ojiro’s ass, but then Iida shows up to save him so yay. Elsewhere the Tetsuroki fight has heated up, quite literally, as Todoroki activates his left side to create a wall of fire, and Tetsutetsu proceeds to walk right through it and attack Shouto as a red hot steel man. Shouto thinks back to his dad’s training and decides that the solution to this is clearly to make shit even hotter, so he starts up with that, and the chapter ends.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 223, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

ohhh my god

IIDA FAM FLASHBACKS!??!

AHHHHH

EXCUSE ME IS THIS THE FUCKING FUTURE OR NOT?? CAN WE GET IIDA TENSEI A FUCKING HOVERCHAIR HERE PEOPLE? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK. IF ONLY HORIKOSHI WAS AT ALL FAMILIAR WITH MARVEL COMICS -- OH, WAIT

but seriously though. also he’s supposed to be rich too isn’t he? c’mon

also! Iidamom looks exactly like I expected her to. welcome to our canon full of other awesome moms, Iidamom! a few more moms and I’ll be ready to do a top ten moms post. spoiler alert, the winner is not who you’d expect (unless you’re expecting Aizawa, because then you’re absolutely right)

anyways so I got SUPER distracted just now but apparently Tensei is talking about “tuning up” Iida’s engine!

wow can they do that?? fucking quirks, though. wild

oh my fucking god

just yank that fucking muffler right the fuck out. and a new one will grow in!! fucking QUIRKS, though. WILD

dsfalkhsd

just yank that fucking muffler right the fuck out without anesthesia. what are you, a pussy!?

gee thanks Horikoshi for this graphic image of Iida biting down on something while he uses his bare hands to yank what are essentially bones -- or organs, or whatever! the point is they’re part of him! -- right out of his fucking body. might wanna add some vodka to that OJ tonight Iida

OH SHIT, THAT PAYOFF THOUGH

IN TEN MINUTES YOU COULD TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD, IIDA!

okay maybe I got a little overexcited. but damn though!

so he’s DRRNing over to Honenuki and

oh my god

loool at the thought of Iida zooming around wildly for the next ten minutes while he tries to figure out how to stop this thing, and meanwhile Honenuki can’t land a hit on him though

GET HIM IIDA!!

oh fuck

can he breathe under there? you know, depending on how long they still have until time runs out, he could just hide for the next ten minutes and then emerge and drag the paralyzed Iida to Rat Principal Jail

(ETA: actually that was a stupid thought. obviously Iida doesn’t have to keep Recipro activated the whole time if there’s no need to.)

but no, he’s swimming back to Tetsu and the others for now

meanwhile Iida’s still up top and trying to figure out what he’s up to

maybe you should do the same

holy shit we’re cutting back to the kids outside and Deku says Iida’s even faster than Gran Torino

“by a long shot.” that’s fucking fast. and I love it

by the way, with the way Mina was pointing, I thought, “oh, maybe Ojiro’s finally getting the upper hand!”

but no

Horikoshi why do you hate poor Ojiro

it’s probably the pain of this guy kicking you in the chest with his rotating fucking foot

so he’s trying to figure out what to do because he can’t really attack, and he keeps getting hurt whenever he tries to guard

oh hey there

trying to decide if I’m disappointed that Ojiro will never get to do anything cool, or ecstatic that Iida fucking Tenya just pulled off a badass save of this caliber

leaning more toward ecstatic, honestly. sorry Ojiro

oh, Iida

nice use of the word “forthwith”, Iida

(ETA: and nice use of the word “slammer”!!)

and now he’s telling Ojiro to go help Todoroki and that he’ll be right back

well I guess class 1-A will need some sidekicks too

meanwhile we’re sticking with Iida, which means I’m going to keep right on posting all of his panels, because his dialogue honestly deserves a fucking pulitzer prize

never, Sen!

Sen’s trying to reason his way out of this and telling Iida that he shouldn’t let Honenuki get away because he’s more of a threat

and he’s also grumping about Iida interrupting his and Ojiro’s fight. “you shouldn’t interrupt a one-on-one fistfight like that”

um, says who? fuck that. we’re trying to win here, we can make friends after

Iida says if he allows his will to be bent here, it will be bent in the real world as well

basically he’s treating this seriously. well, good

meanwhile! we’re cutting back to two minutes prior!

I guess Tetsu’s best option is to somehow knock him out. but the problem is that Shouto’s reflexes are too good and he can create an ice barrier in an instant

I think Tetsu’s steel would allow him to withstand Shouto’s fire long enough to punch him on his left side, though, so that would be my personal strategy if it were me

heh

A+ attack name. Shouto I’m sorry, I love you, but if I’m being honest I’m rooting for this guy here

heh

so you think he should try the fire instead? I’m not so sure that’s the best play in this case though. at least with the ice he has better control and he can hold him at bay. I just don’t think the fire would be that effective against Tetsu, but I’m sure we’ll find out shortly

because Tetsu’s bragging about how easily he can break through Shouto’s ice defense

ah here we go

for some reason Bakugou actually wanted to go up against this. still don’t quite understand it. my baby boy got a death wish

lol Pony’s running off. honestly a miracle she wasn’t incinerated just now

Shouto’s yelling at Shouji to go after her and Shouji’s all “got it”

yeah I’m thinking my initial assessment was right and this was indeed a mistake

fucking great. now you’ve got a molten steel man after your ass, Shouto

LOL

holy fucking shit. just in case anyone isn’t aware, “chinchin” means “penis” usually. so yeah

and I fucking love that here he’s using it to mean “hot”, but it could also be a throwback to the whole “five peepee man” thing, which he doesn’t actually know about but I do, and so to me this is the funniest thing ever okay

I have no further comment

oh fuck

no but as you can plainly see he is no stranger to burns, so please try not to maim him too badly...!?

lol Vlad has started narrating again. no doubt elated that his team is somehow eking out a win in what initially appeared to be the most one-sided matchup we were going to see today

uh oh but now it looks like Tetsu may have accidentally triggered the quirk development that Endeavor was trying to trigger but couldn’t because Shouto won’t return his damn texts

before I continue to the next and presumably final page of this chapter, I’m just gonna take a moment here to appreciate the irony of Endeavor accidentally conditioning Shouto to never listen to him ever, even on the occasions where it turns out he’s right. he spent years trying to get Shouto to use his flame side, but failed utterly, and then in the span of one fight Deku did what Endeavor had spent Shouto’s whole life trying to get him to do

and now it’s happening again here, where we see that Endeavor was once again trying to teach him something, but Shouto just ignored him until a random kid from the class next door just happened to say something similar. and then it clicked

like, it’s a major burn on Endeavor (no pun intended), but it’s also really unfortunate for Shouto, because his dad has been such a prick until recently that he’s missed out on absorbing the few worthwhile things he actually had to teach him. lot of lost time to make up for here, on both sides

anyways, let’s watch as Shouto slowly processes all this

well I assume (a) because of the “surpassing my limits” thing, and (b) because he’s been texting you nonstop and it was probably on your mind even though you were stubbornly trying to pretend it wasn’t

lol what kind of cliffhanger is this??

he’s not even doing anything! come on Shouto what are you doing to us. this isn’t fair

also, what happened to your hand? why is it all smooth. I assume because of some fire bullshit you’re about to do, but that’s still just weird looking

oh and on the last page there’s a long translator note explaining what I mentioned before about “chinchin” meaning penis. sometimes on select occasions I’m down with Horikoshi perpetually having the mind of a 12-year-old. if he wants to make this a recurring thing I won’t complain, lol

[btsvt-adventures]

hey so,,,,,, i was looking through your blog and uh remember that university au you wrote? you wrote a lil gyuhao/reader thing and i was wondering if you'd, mayhaps, write a lil jicheol/reader uni au for your resident jicheol slut? uwu

A/n: Oh wow this is one hell of a throwback rip ahahaha I legit had to go back and re-read my thing and figure out what majors the boys were doing welp but here you go!! Thanks for making me write thing bby~ Also I’m sorry this is so shitty T^T 

Want more of this AU? Ask me here!

University AU: Introduction | Fashion | Not Enough Caffeine

Exam week, (or Hell Week, rather), and the weeks leading up to it are the cafe’s best money-making weeks

You also happen to always be the “lucky” barista that scored graveyard shifts, all because you told your manager once, that your project-based course usually ended before the study cram weeks began

You can’t really complain; the pay is good, and the cafe was usually pretty empty by 2am, but there was always one table that stayed almost your entire shift

The boy is cute, reaaalllly cute, and you know his name is Seungcheol, and he studies Sports Science, and that he’s a final year student, hence the mad crazy studying

He always comes in just as your shifts start, ordering the same thing every hour and a half – a large Dark Mocha frappucino with extra whip

Seungcheol is also a massive flirt (Duh, how else do you know so much about him?)

He’s caught you staring a few times, and instead of looking confused, he winks at you over his textbook, like, what the fuck? Gross flirt aside, he’s nice, and funny, and it makes you feel special, and –

Okay so maybe he’s part of the reason why you keep accepting midnight shifts okay?????

You’re pretty sure he has a boyfriend though, and the thought makes you sulk behind the coffee machine every time you watch Seungcheol and the small pretty blonde boy together at their table

One night, you spot Seungcheol walking towards the cafe, and decide to prep his coffee because well… why not? It’s a nice thing to do for regulars... right???

Seungcheol’s amused that you already have his coffee made, taking a sip overdramatically, and you can’t help but laugh at his antics

He leans against the counter, winking at you knowingly. “I must be your favourite customer if you’ve memorized my order by heart hm?”

You scoff, pushing his shoulder playfully and rolling your eyes at him, retorting that the only reason you know his order is because you’re always the only one on shift when he’s here

“Where’s your boyfriend?” You ask, turning away to grab him a cookie because he looks really tired (no shit, he’s been here till 4am every day the last week)

 “What boyfriend?” he blankly, and for a second you wonder if he’s been studying too hard. “I’m single?”

Wait what??? Then who’s the small pretty blonde boy?

Seungcheol laughs, nearly snorting drink, while you stare at him confusedly. “That’s –oh man he’s gonna kill you when he heard you called him small – that’s Jihoonie, he’s my best friend.”

Oh my god I said that out loud. He had to be kidding. There was no way in hell him and JIhoon were just friends??? What friends cuddled like they were madly in love?

As if on cue, Jihoon walks in, grumpily poking Seungcheol so he moves away from the counter. “Triple shot large Iced Americano please,” he mumbles, voice hoarse, and you feel your heart ache a little

“You’re early today,” you comment, not really expecting an answer because he looks exhausted, even more than usual. His hair’s a mess, he has eyebags to his knees, and he’s in a hoodie that looks like it’s about to drown him

“Working too hard again, hoonie?” Seungcheol asks mildly, and Jihoon just huffs, handing you the money with a quiet “thank you.”

You end up putting in two extra shots (although... should you really be putting 5 shots into an Americano?), leaning against the counter as Jihoon stands there and gulps down half of it gratefully

“Hey, do you have the time to play hooky this once? You both look so stressed all the time it’s actually worrying to watch,” you blurt, and you’re momentarily mortified because oh mY GOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

Seungcheol regards you intently, then glances at Jihoon, who’s already emptied his cup. “Hey, hoonie, the cute barista thinks we should take a break.”

Jihoon: but exams

Seungcheol: but cute barista

You: eXCuSE ?? cUTE BARiSTA?

Jihoon looks at you expectantly. “Yeah, we come here all the time because you’re here, and it’s a nice enough place to study I guess, but mainly because you’re here”

bitch u think he smooth but his ears are liTERALLY SO RED, and you’re staring at the both of them like a fish because whAT iS HAPpeNInG

Seungcheol looks like he’s proud of Jihoon, and turns to you hopefully. “So whaddaya say? You take your hour (or two) break and we make it a little date right here?”

Your brain is still trying to catch up, and the first thing that leaves your mouth is “Does it mean I have to prep the date food myself?”

Jihoon laughs, grinning impishly at you, having recovered from his sudden confession. “Only if you use your employee discount~”

“... Shut up and go sit down I can see your eyebags dragging behind you,” you grumble, trying to hide how red you are bc OMG THEY WANT A DATE WITH YOU????!!!!

A thought suddenly occurs and you call out to both of them. Seungcheol turns to you curiously, and you frown. “Does it mean you were lying when you said you and Jihoon were just friends?”

Seungcheol freezes, and JIhoon glares up at his boyfriend, punching him on the arm before huffily sitting at their table, and you nearly drop the cake you’re holding because you’re laughing too hard

Oops~~

Please like and reblog

If you’d like more of this AU, or your own lil thing, of if you just wanna yell at me, you can do so here~

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Dreams Come True

Masterpost

6x13: Dreams Come True

Wow.  Here we are.  The end of the story.  There’s something bittersweet about reaching this point.  I’ve been doing this meta series for over four years now, and it’s kind of fitting that I’ll end it around the original airing of the series finale.  I can’t believe it’s been so long.  I can’t believe I’ve made it through 121 episodes of the show.  (Okay, technically 116 - Kurt wasn’t in five of them.)   

And, I’ll be honest - I have some mixed feelings about the actual finale.  There was a lot more in the script, and a lot that I’m sad that was cut.  Not to mention, by season 6, production values were a little on the low side - and there are some glaring errors, and awkward editing, throughout the episode.  

But looking past that - it’s been a fantastic journey, and amazing to look so in-depth at a story that’s made its way firmly into my heart.  I will miss writing about Kurt Hummel (though it’s not like I’ll never write anything about him again!) but it is time to close the book on his story.  

And thank you to all of you who came with me on this journey.   Even as I let go of the story myself - I’ll always cherish it, and all the discussions and conversations and friends I’ve had and made along the way.  This has been something special - and I’m glad you’re here with me - here at the end of all things.  

So here we go... 

Final Competition

We open with our three remaining main characters.  Ah, I see what you did there, show!  And it’s time for Nationals 2015!  I’m not going to go too deeply on the time line here - because of a bunch of weird edits and costume changes, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  

But I will deduce this -- in the 2015 time line - Kurt (and Blaine) have already been back in New York for a while, and have come home to help the group go to Nationals.  Or at least that’s how I’m explaining it in my head.  

And we get New Directions winning Nationals again.  Whoo!  I’m actually glad they didn’t make us sit through another set of songs and use this episode as a way to send of the original characters.  I do appreciate that Glee.  

I will say - one thing that I am frustrated by is this idea that McKinley gets turned into a fine arts school - and they do away with sports entirely.  **sigh** This show just never understood balance, did it.  Or the fact that you can enjoy music, have it be a good part of your life, and still do other things in your life. That is my one major gripe with the end of this show - is that it kind of takes the message too far the other way.  One reason I really liked the 2009 episode - is that it brought back the reason as to why they were there in the first place - so kids can be together in an activity that they liked despite their differences.  This episode -- to a fault -- zeroes in on the ‘arts education’ platform a little too hard - and, dare I say, to the detriment of some of the characters.  

But ah well - I shouldn’t be complaining too much about the ending here.  I mean - at least the characters do get happy endings, and this finale isn’t a travesty the same way How I Met Your Mother was.  

Last First Day

So, apparently this is the first day of Glee Club as Will says in his dialogue.  So...  Kurt and Blaine have come back for this, too, and then head off to New York - for good (the subtext says).  

The thing that gets me about this scene is that it was the last day of filming for the actors, and the last thing shot on the show.  Everyone getting teary eyed was real - because it was the last time they were all ever going to act together - and there’s something really poignant.  There’s a message some where in here from Will about moving on and moving forward, but interestingly, this is more about saying goodbye and being okay with that.  

I think adding to that is that this scene is a throwback to the end of season 1 - when the glee club listened to Will on his ukulele singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  There’s nothing that special about this scene or even this song.  But it’s such a touching moment because it’s another final one.  

And I’m glad we get a nice shot of Kurt and Blaine together, being close together, being reminded about all their times in high school - the good, the bad, and the crazy.  And it’s weird - cause they’re happy in their life, and they’ll be even happier moving forward.  But sometimes you do just need to take a step back and reflect, and be grateful that you got the chance to be a part of something special. 

Blam and Hummelberry

Alright two things I need to point out before we continue on.  

1. There’s a cute little Blam scene where Blaine and Sam effectively get to say goodbye to each other.  And it’s super sweet.  But also - Blaine let’s us know that marriage is agreeing with he and Kurt.  I’m sad we never really get to see this play out post-Wedding episode, but I’m glad it’s at least mentioned if only in passing.  But the thing is - I do think marriage would agree with them - because it is a commitment that they both are secured in making, and they don’t have the fears and insecurities they did before.  But also, because they are more grown up than they were when they were in a high school.  And yes - while I always wish we had seen more, I’m glad they at least allude to the fact that they’re living a happy life in New York.  

2. Something you may notice about this episode (okay I didn’t until I was told later) there’s no Hummelberry in it.  Crazy, right?? I mean, as much as I complained about Hummelberry over the years - it does seem weird that one of the major friendships on the show doesn’t have a final nod to it.  (And in fact - there’s a lot more Kurtcedes throughout this episode than Hummelberry.)  

Well - the reason is that the two final Hummelberry scenes were cut. The first one was supposed to be before the Blam one - where they talk about Finn, countdown their top Glee songs, and Rachel calls Blaine Kurt’s husband and Kurt gets all giddy from that (man I wish I could have seen that).  The scene is far too long to be in the episode (I still say they should have made the full script - there’s a ton cut out and more than enough for a two hour episode), but I wish it had been in there.  

The other scene takes place right before Rachel sings This Time - and isn’t much other than Kurt saying that he and Blaine are taking off for New York - but Rachel needs another moment.  Again - I see why they cut it.  Still - weird that I don’t get a final moment to dissect.  

So -- I’ll say this... it’s my own headcanon that Kurt and Rachel will always be, in a way, bff - but they become more like Kurt and Mercedes - living their own lives and doing their own things.  Sure, this entire group of kids will always be in each other’s lives, but as you grow up - you move on and meet new people - a lot of whom you just click better with.  

I do think when Hummelberry was good - it was good, and I do see the purpose of it on the show.  And while I think I’ll always resent (a little) the stuff in the middle seasons - I’ll always recognize it as a major friendship on the show.  Take a bow Hummelberry - and good night... 

Mercedes Jones Has Left The Building

So - Mercedes announces she’s going on tour and there’s a lot going right for her, so this is where she’s saying goodbye.  And, I kind of love her speech here.  Because she admits that this might be the last time she sees them for a very, very long time.  And it kind of hits the nail on the head about moving on.  

Something I do like about this episode is this idea that things change.  They can’t always stay in glee club forever - you have to grow up, you have to move on, and your life is better for it.  But you can always remember and cherish the people and memories you make along the way.  Mercedes gets it.  The rest of the cast gets it.  And so we get Mercedes singing Some Day We’ll Be Together as she makes her exit stage left.  And it’s really powerful and sad.  Because it is an ending.  

No words are said as Mercedes leaves.  No words are needed.

But that’s okay.  Not to be overly cheesy and go ultra 90s, but like the song Closing Time - Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. 

 Mr. and Mrs. Porcelain

The next stop on the Goodbye Tour is Sue.  

And they’ve actually come to thank her.  

And as crazy as it is - I’m actually really grateful that we have this little scene because it does tell us a couple of things.  First of all -- Kurt says if she hadn’t meddled (and I’m still not condoning the meddling) they’d still be apart and miserable.  This is a big thing - because for as much as Kurt tried to down play it for a while there - he was pretty miserable for a majority of season 6.  So was Blaine, for that matter.  But now they’re married and happy and heading back to New York - and this time probably will stay in New York for a long, long time.  

I also like it because throughout the entire series, there’s been a strange connection between Sue and Kurt.  No need to recap - feel free to read all the other meta - it’s actually there, lol.  But out of all the students - Sue didn’t connect with many of them - but she did with Kurt. 

This scene also gives us a moment to reflect on Kurt’s story as whole.  Sue recounts everything Kurt’s been through - coming out, bullying, growing up and finding his way, and yeah Sue’s speaking for all of us here -- because she’s reminding us the importance of Kurt’s story.  That it did mean something to a lot of people - and it gave a new generation of people a story to latch on to if they needed it.  

To me (and for me) Kurt’s story has been one of the most powerful - and that’s not to say people can’t latch on to other things.  I mean - if you really felt pull to Ryder - than you go Ryder fan!  But a lot of us were here - especially in the beginning, for Kurt’s story.  And Kurt - and his uniqueness represented so much of the audience through the years.  It’s kind of remarkable when you take a step back and think about it.  

Sue thanks him - for giving her the chance to be a part of that story - and for giving her the chance to see things in a new perspective.  It’s incredibly touching.  And Kurt himself is touched.  It’s kind of crazy when you think that it’s a moment where the creators are able to give a voice to the fans to tell a fictional character - I’m glad you existed.  

And I have to say myself - thank you Kurt Hummel.  It’s been a true pleasure documenting your life over the years... 

Time Capsule

And here we are - our final (real) Klaine scene of the series.  Do I wish there could have been something a little more? Something that held a tiny bit more weight? Sure...  

But this scene is sweet.  We get confirmation that the Box Scene happened, a run down of Kurt’s greatest hits from season 1-3, Blaine looking adoringly at his husband.  It’s a nice, quiet moment for the two of them to just remember and reflect and be happy that they’re past all of the high school shenanigans as they shut the door on their past.  

We get our final ‘I love you’, final kiss, final hug, final time hearing the Klaine theme.  And a final time for that ridiculous sweater.  

And I am currently laughing and crying right now... thank you boys, it’s been a wonderful journey... 

Back to New York

And... with that Kurt and Blaine are magically transported back to New York where they belong - still holding hands, fearlessly and forever.  

Daydream Believers

Five years later - and Kurt and Blaine are still happily married, still lovingly holding each other’s hands.  

We find out what they’ve been up to -- doing an all male showing of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?  I assume (since they are 26 at this point) that they’re still the younger couple of that play -- but it’s a hard piece about relationships, and I’m glad they decided to do perform something that would test their relationship - go boys! 

In case you are wondering what else they were up to -- according to the script -- Kurt’s won an Obie award and has his own line on QVC called Hummel Brag while Blaine is a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter who has written St. Elmo’s Fire the Musical and Trapped in an Elevator: A Love Story.  

Now (semi-)celebrities, they’re invited to sing at the Harvey Milk school - where they’re considered inspirations.  And while I do wish this song had been sung with Blaine’s kindergarten class or two their own child, I do understand what they’re doing here.  They’re showing that a new generation of kids should feel safe being who they are and not hiding it from the world, as well as accepting the role of music (and creativity) in their lives.  It’s sweet and fun and I’ll go along with it, even if it’s not everything that I wanted. 

I do appreciate Kurt’s little throwbacks to the Single Ladies and Bad Romance performances from season 1. 

I also think Kurt and Blaine being with the kids is a nod to the fact that they are about to become dads and that they’ll probably make great dads.  

This song - though - means quiet a lot.  First of all, Daydream Believer is one of my favorite songs of all time - and I’m just thrilled at the fact that Kurt and Blaine get to sing it.  More so, this is the third to last song on the show, the final song sung by a couple, and the last Klaine duet that we get.  And there’s a lot wrapped up in that.  I mean, Kurt started out as a character not on the show - and to end with having one of the most iconic TV relationships of all time and the show full on acknowledging that by the end (I mean they are literally lying on a rainbow flag) is kind of huge.  

The lyrics are incredibly fitting, too - 

Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?

I mean, it’s a simple and sweet song - and I like that it shows what they are -- dreamers and believers and a special nod to Kurt being the Prom Queen.  It’s a beautiful sentiment to end on, and I’m glad this is the final Klaine duet.  

Yeah, I do wish they had sung it a little more to each other and less to the kids, but it’s fine.  They sound great together and the song holds weight to their story - being a perfect one to end on. 

This Time

I want to do a quick shout out to This Time - the song Darren Criss wrote for the finale.  It is so touching and moving, and is amazing in its way of putting into song what it’s like to be here at the end.  To cherish the feeling you had about being apart of the thing but knowing that it’s time to move on as well.  Y’all know I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel solos - but this time, it’s perfect.  

Alright - then we jump into our final little coda.  And, you know, I know that this ending is a bit much on the happily ever after quota.  But - I’m fine that they did this.  The show started in some well grounded satire - but at the end, managed to be a fairy tale for all of us who are awkward and weird and didn’t fit quite in.  I’m glad my favorite fictional characters are all right. 

This whole ending bit does seem a little rushed - but we learn that Rachel has agreed to be a surrogate for Kurt and Blaine’s child.  Fwiw - I don’t believe it’s her eggs, especially when she doesn’t seem to mention anything about co-parenting and Jesse saying he’d like to start a family of his own.  She also mentions that they’ve given up a lot of their lives for her, it’s time she gives back - and I know a lot of people said this didn’t make much sense, but you know what - I believe it.  So much of Kurt’s story was sacrificed at the Rachel-story alter, I’m totally cool with her carrying the kid for them. 

And I know that a lot of people didn’t need or want them to have children.  And that’s totally cool! I do think it makes sense for their story.  I mean, it’s about these gay kids getting the traditional love story and everything that comes with that - including marriage and children.  But also - Kurt’s story started out being about him and his relationship to his dad.  I’m glad it kind of ends full circle being a dad himself.  

While it would have been really nice if Kurt and Blaine’s last lines were to each other - and I love you at that - their last lines are in this scene and, not surprisingly, about Rachel.  Ah well...  Lol.  

However, there was a bit more to this scene that was cut out.  First of all, we learn that they’re having a daughter (yes - this is perfect to me...) 

It also has Mercedes wondering who the biological father is - basically it doesn’t matter. Blaine makes a joke about whether it comes out with a bowtie or an ascot then they’ll know.  Kurt explains the process, and here you go - the last scripted line for one Kurt Hummel: 

Kurt: We mixed the spermies together so we’ll never know.

Yup - there ya go.  We were robbed from Chris Colfer saying the word ‘spermies’.  Whatever writers, lol - I love it.  

Also - there’s a tiny moment as Rachel goes off, where Kurt bounces against Blaine.  Idk - it’s just kind of a small, cute moment for the two of them. 

There’s a line earlier in the episode where Blaine comments that Sam is right where he’s supposed to be - but it’s really the showing that the characters are right where they’re supposed to be.  Rachel wins her Tony, just like she was always going to do.  Kurt and Blaine get married and have a happy life together.  Mercedes gets and album, Artie and Tina end up together in the background.  Sue continues world domination.  And Will is, well, still Will.  

The point being, as we close on out - is that as these characters are living happy and good lives.  High school sucks, college can suck, even adulthood can suck, but for one moment in time, they were all joined together and survived it as a group.  And now, everyone is on their own path - and that’s fine.  Moving on is fine.  Change is fine.  

But since this is a story, and a story of characters we care about deeply.  This is their happily ever after.  

Kurt and Blaine might not get much -- I’ll always wish they had more - but I’m grateful for what I did get.  Because I love this perfectly imperfect story, and it’ll forever be deeply etched into my heart - even as change and move on to different things. 

Final Bow

The Klaine moment goes by too fast to still, in case you’re wondering.  

The context of this final performance is that it’s now Fall of 2020 - and the auditorium is being dedicated to Finn.  Everyone’s come back for one last final bow.  

I love I Lived as the final song.  It’s a song about life being hard and sucking and getting hurt but reflecting and saying -- well at least I lived my life to the fullest.  This, tied in with Sue’s final speech about glee club meaning something - about the arts and music and finding a place in the world meaning something, is the show’s final lesson.  And as we close out - the show wants to remind us that despite the bizarre choices made throughout the show, through the ups and the downs and the questionable editing.  

This show meant something to a lot of people - and for the characters, well, at least they lived.  

When the show was first conceived - Kurt Hummel wasn’t even a character in the script.  Eventually, he became one of the fullest - if not the most complete - character on the show.  We got to see him grow up, and come out, struggle with identity and bullying and heartbreak and Rachel Berry, and become a remarkable young man - happily married with a child of his own.

It’s an amazing, amazing story - and I can’t believe I’ve now reached the end of documenting it.  

This is the story about a boy who, with every broken bone, lived.  

Thank you, Glee.   

Thank you, Chris Colfer.

Kurt Hummel changed my life - and I’ll forever be grateful for that.  <3 

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Beth Trading Cards

Okay, today’s theory is courtesy of @boltthrutheheart. She plays an online TWD game in which people trade and collect TWD trading cards. The cards often feature various characters and are produced by the Topps company, which does a lot of the TWD figurines, and other memorabilia as well.

@boltthrutheheart has posted in our group quite frequently over the past few months because Topps keeps putting out new Beth trading cards. This is one of those outside-the-show things that is super-suspicious to me. Some of the cards have even been previously-unreleased still shots from S4 and S5

Really, this started last year. Remember when I did THIS POST about the shot from Still with the strawberries? I did a whole theory based around the card, but it was just the first of many they put out.

Ever since then, and especially since S9 ended, they been almost constantly putting out new Beth trading cards.

Now before anyone jumps down my throat about this, let me say up front that it's not as though she's the only “deceased” character featured on the trading cards. There are trading cards for every character, including the deceased ones. So, featuring her on the cards of all is not unusual. What IS unusual is the sheer amount @boltthrutheheart has seen lately.

For example, this one:

She tells me that this is a “super award” card, which means it's hard to get. She can explain it better than me:

“What that means is that you have to collect all of the cards in a wave twice over, once to have possession of all the cards for the regular award, and with the duplicates of the cards, you have to “meld” them together for a special card you have to have in your collection to get the “super award.” Most of the time, you can “buy” packs of cards with free credits that you earn on the app with odds of getting a certain card for pay for them with real money to kinda outright buy them. But with this season 4 collection, it’s cash only and to get all the cards necessary for the “super award,” it’s $20!”

Which I gather is a lot for this particular game.

A week after posting this, @boltthrutheheart reported to us about these ones. This is a series that has featured packs with many different characters. This one is a 4-pack that has Beth, Daryl, Dale, and Sophia in it. I guess these cost $100 per card! Wow!

What’s interesting here is that Beth and Daryl’s cards are released together (I’m also kinda suspicious that they included Dale and Sophia as the other characters, given Dale’s time speech and all the Sophia 2.0 stuff, but whatever. ;D). And, if you look at this shot, you’ll see that Beth and Daryl are emphasized to advertise the pack.

The first week in June, these next four were released. The top one is from an S$ throwback series. The bottom left is from a “Survivor” series. (She cautions not to read too much into that. There are a lot of deceased characters pictured in that series.) 

The bottom two from the “Edge” series. I guess they release one card a week with different characters on them. But the first is from March. The point being that they’ve featured Beth repeatedly in this series. Because of that, she’s in there once as a regular card and once as an award card. The only other characters to be featured twice are Daryl, Glenn, Rick, and Carol.

The only other characters to be featured twice are Daryl, Glenn, Rick, and Carol. I can’t help but notice that all of these characters are ones that are or probably will be featured in a death fake out. Just saying. ;D

Most recently, these cards from the “Shattered” Series came out. I guess there’s a major focus on S4 with these ones. Beth’s card is special. It’s called a “meld” card. In order to get it, you have to collect the other six cards in the series and “sacrifice” them in order to get Beth’s rare card.

That’s interesting, isn’t it? Just puts me in mind of Father Gabriel’s cryptic dialogue from 5x16. “How you sacrificed one of your own…”

@boltthrutheheart also posted a few more just the other day. This first card is a “relic” card, which means it has a piece of costume embedded in it. 

The second card is an award card for collecting 8 cards in the teal series. It’s just a base card and this image is on other cards like this in other colors, but for the teal series, Beth is the “award.”

Finally, there’s this card. 

Apparently, this is from a series of cards called Apocalyptic Atmospheres. They don’t have characters in them. Just iconic scenes.  And of course, there’s one called “House on Fire” which is obviously the Moonshine Shack. The great thing about this is that there is literally NO other characters associated with this local. So once again, we’re reminded of Beth and Daryl’s time together. I’m cool with being reminded of that as many times as AMC sees fit to remind me. ;D

Now again, simply seeing Beth on the cards is not particularly suspicious,. I know skeptics will not be at all swayed by this. But it’s super suspicious to me because we’re really seeing an influx of these cards right now. And one of the final images we saw in S9 is Daryl looking up at Beth's painting.

So, most of us believe more than ever that she's on the cusp of appearing. Now, we’re seeing so many of these. Many of them are her alone, but a lot of them are her paired with Daryl. Yes, it was always an iconic pairing, and it's not shocking that they would be paired together (though it does prove the skeptics wrong who say there was nothing there), but why would they be doing so many of these right NOW? Why not release cards that have Daryl and Denise together or Carol and Sophia? Why this pairing in particular?

Please also note that the ones I’ve featured above are not by far all of them. I’ll probably share more of them on my account in coming weeks. These are just the most recent additions. 

While, again, there are other deceased characters on the cards, it’s not like we’re seeing a huge amount of T-Dog cards or Andrea cards, right?

Yeah. Super-suspicious. We’re being heavily reminded of Beth, Bethyl and S4. And I think you cannot guess what I think that means. ;D Every time @boltthrutheheart pops into our group and posts another set of Beth or Bethyl trading cards, it totally makes my day. Here's hoping Topps and AMC keep them coming!

*Super big kudos to @boltthrutheheart for bringing this to our attention and doing all the leg work!* 💖

[dannyxtyler]

The past week had felt like an absolute dream ever since Danny landed in New York City with Aubrey and Blake. Danny didn’t have any expectations as to how his parents would react to meeting his daughter, yet it was everything he would have never imagined. He felt grateful his parents felt touched by Blake and that they were willing to be a part of her life. Danny didn’t have the best relationship with them, but this trip seemed to be the key to forgive them, allowing himself to start over with them. He had felt nothing but joy and gratefulness ever since that emotional Wednesday afternoon they shared, and having Aubrey by his side during all of this process made it all even more magical. When Danny asked Aubrey to come with him to New York City he knew exactly why he wanted them to be back there, in the city that meant so much for both. The city where a lot of their first times took place, the city that had a memory attached to every corner. Being back at his NYC place with her, felt like a major throwback, but this time it all was slightly different. And better. 

As Danny had once promised her: it was time to write new memories until the old ones didn’t hurt or haunt her anymore. And that’s what they were doing. Getting to show his daughter his hometown with Aubrey, even if Blake was too little to possibly remember in a future, was a feeling that Danny couldn’t put into words even if he tried. At this point, there was no doubt for Danny that Aubrey was the one. Three years ago he was too scared to admit it to himself, but this time he wasn’t gonna sabotage his own chance of having a happy ending with her. He loved her, and he wanted to let her know that. Having Lux and Silver in town was simply the perfect excuse: they were his partners in crime as Danny had orchestrated this surprise for Aubrey. They took Blake with them until the next morning, after the whole gang had brunch together earlier in the morning so Danny and Aubrey could spend the rest of the day all by themselves, wandering around the streets they both knew so well, the ones they had spent a lot of their past time in. 

Danny knew a lot of people around that could help him set everything up while they weren’t at home, so when they were back: it was all ready. He told Aubrey he had a surprise for her in the guest room: he had left her a dress and a small note that read they’d meet downstairs in a few hours. As Danny got ready he was feeling like a nervous wreck yet feeling as if he was floating on cloud nine. Like a high schooler asking a girl out for the first time. He just wanted this night to be perfect. He got out of his room and made his way to the meeting spot, taking a small bouquet of roses with him. Danny knew peonies where her favorite but he wanted the flowers to match her dress tonight. When he saw her making his way to him, he couldn’t help but sigh and stare at her in awe for a few seconds, admiring her from head to toe with puppy eyes. “Wow”, was all he could mumble as he got closer to her to place a kiss on her lips. “I know you probably think we’re going out but I actually planned a night in”, he smiled, handling her the roses. He felt his heart leave his chest as the big moment was finally approaching, yet he tried his best to hide how nervous he actually was, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “I am gonna guide you but you need to keep your eyes closed okay?” // @anaubrey

[shimmerjjang]

VIP Diaries: (Meeting Seungri!!!) The Great Seungri Show in Manila 2019

Hello 안녕 안녕 shimmers and VIPs! Wow, I’ve been wanting to publish this post for a while now because this experience I had during The Great Seungri Show in Manila is a FIRST in my whole life as a BIGBANG VIP! I met Seungri and I got the sweet sweet chance to be in a photo with him. Not a standee, not a poster but the real Seungri!! Gurlll, I could go on and on about this but let me compose myself for a bit and talk about The Great Seungri Tour which happened in MOA Arena last January 19, 2019.

So, if you know me or if you’ve been following my SNS and happened to see one of my posts from last year, you’d know how much I loathe this area. I swore I won’t even go anywhere near Mall of Asia after the trauma I had from this horrible incident. And after that, I never attended any sort of event if it’s held around this area.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME back here in months. Only BIGBANG can bring me back! The bitter memories are now replaced, thanks my Panda Seungri!!

This VIP concert experience is made possible by K-Music Insider! I’m beyond grateful for this chance because the truth is, my budget didn’t allow me to shed 10k upfront that time for the VIP seats and photo-op opportunity. I would’ve settled for a cheaper lower box ticket but I still made sure I hop into giveaways with the goal of getting a photo-op pass in mind. And dear heavens K-Music Insider blessed me with one! 넘너무 행복해 ㅠㅠ

Gates opened at 7pm and I entered the venue at around 7:15. There weren’t crazy lines so I just went straight to the entrance. There weren’t any chaos (thank goodness) and I know it’s a good thing, but I’m kinda sad too because we weren’t able to fill the entire arena. The show was announced late so many VIPs weren’t able to prepare them fundsss (including me haha)

BUT when the show started, it didn’t feel like the arena isn’t full! It was a whole new party out there!! Just exactly as how I expect a BIGBANG concert should be. I mean, Seungri is a total charmer and I’m sure all VIPs know that he’s the best at sweeping the crowd off their feet compared to the rest of the members. Seungri has been my bias wrecker since 2012! Oh well, but yo gurl is tough and my heart for G-Dragon won’t be swayed by anything!!!! \\(^^,)//

Here are some fancams I managed to take. I know, I wasn’t able to take that much because I really want to savor the moment. Also, this is my first time to attend a concert without my sister or cousin (huhuhuhu) so I don’t have someone to take turns with recording. But then again, all throughout my life as a K-Pop fangirl, I have learned how important it is to really get into the moment instead of recording each and every part of the show. So yep, enjoy my mini fancams! 

Opening MV - Where R U From

BANG BANG BANG

Intro Talk (Some in Tagalog)

GG BE

If You

Where R U From

Fire - 2NE1 Sandara 

I am the BEST - 2NE1 Sandara

Go Away - 2NE1 Sandara

Dahil Sa’yo Tagalog Cover - Pandara (Seungri & Sandara)

Seungri calling his mom (haha!)

Tagumpay (Seungri’s self-composed Tagalog song LOL)

We Like 2 Party

셋 셀테니 (1,2,3)

In My World

I’m so proud of Seungri! This is his first ever solo world tour and I can see that he did so well in pleasing and wowing the crowd despite the absence of his hyungs. 

Did you watch the whole video? BOYYY I CHOKED WHEN HE SLAYED THAT TAGALOG SONG!! I swear that song by Inigo Pascual annoyed me for a while because I hear it everywhere. But gurllll, who would’ve thought that I’d learn how to love it. I’ve been singing it subconsciously right after the concert. I mean, I’m gonna be honest, he sounded more native than Sandara and Ryan Bang (he showed up briefly on stage too along with Anne Curtis) LOL

Dara was also a guest for Seungri’s show. Well, Sandara has always been a steady guest whenever BIGBANG would show up here for a tour! That’s OG YG Family for you, children! The 2NE1 songs she performed were immensely nostalgic. How can my eyes well up over happy songs? I’m still hoping for a 2NE1 reunion to fulfill my empty Blackjack heart! :(

Seungri has always been the life of the party and he’s so good at being in variety shows! That’s what he served us during his concert. For a short moment we all thought we mistakenly entered a comedy bar, not a concert LOL Seungri made my stomach burst out of laughter the entire night. He’s just GOLD! He even savaged his fellow BIGBANG members in front of us. haha! Ang lakas ng loob kasi everyone’s in the military haha

Seungri showed us funny photos of every BIGBANG member for him to roast... EXCEPT for T.O.P... So naturally, us VIPs will ask and look for him. When he wrapped the photos up without including TOP, all of us went “Where’s TOP?!!!” I honestly thought he’ll just brush it off, considering all the crazy controversy surrounding TOP, I won’t be surprised if he’ll just ignore us. But Seungri didn’t. He heard us and he gave us a very reassuring answer.

VIPS: “TOP!!! TOP!!! Where’s TOP?”

SEUNGRI: “Ah, TOP? He’s fine! I just wanna say he’s okay.”

ME: Wooooh!!! OMG OMG *hyperventilating*

SEUNGRI: “He’s super okay. Yeah. He will come back soon, don’t worry!”

VIPs: *crying and going wild*

SEUNGRI: “You know what, now in BIGBANG, TOP is MOST OKAY! hahaha We are all okay..”

ME: LAUGHING WHILE CRYING UGLY TEARS

Watch the full clip of that comedic/unexpectedly emotional part here..

The entire show lasted for around 3 hours, I think. Seungri gave us major K-Pop throwback as he also sang a lot of his great hits from his early solo career (Strong Baby, Gotta Talk to U, GG BE..), as well as BIGBANG’s! It was an amazing show full of nostalgia. 

Here’s my only #OOTD shot from the concert, together with my fellow mod at BIGBANG Philippines - Chi! 

We, along with the ladies of 2NE1 PH, as well as other VIP friends lined up for the photo-op right after the concert. Each photo with Seungri will be done by 10s and we’re fortunate enough to be the last ones in line so there were just 8 of us.

AND NOW! TADAAAAAA!! Here’s our official group photo courtesy of LOONG Studio, the official promoter for Seungri’s Manila leg of the tour.

I mean, let that sink in for a short moment. Gurl, MY EXISTENCE GOT PULVERIZED! I wasn’t sure of what was happening and if it really was happening at all. For the first time in my 10-year VIP fangirl life, I was able to see and interact with a BIGBANG member. INSANE!

As I was walking towards Seungri, my mind went blank. I just stretched my hand for him to shake and I told him that he did great on stage. OH DEAR I remember him just looking back at me, smiling and thanking me for coming to his show. I’m in a trance! And because I went straight to him and approached him first, I totally forgot everything I initially planned. I have my phone in hand to secretly record everything just for my personal memento but totally forgot!! Also planning to stand beside him (I was 2nd in line so I could’ve done that) but chose to just talk to him first so by the time I was done talking, everyone got settled already while I’m still lost in front of him! Also planned to stand on his right side because that’s my freakin’ angle but totally forgot!!! HAHAHAHA Basically, my mind stopped functioning LOL but I’m so happy I got to interact with the King of all Maknaes, SEUNGRI. Everything happened so fast and when we were asked to leave, I made sure I told him I love him! HAHA He’s probably tired of hearing that from everybody but at least I let it out my chest. ^^

Say hello to my very nervous smile!!!! HAHAHA My heart was about to pop out of my mouth! SEUNGRI is just super handsome and I’m not just saying this because I’m a fan. Like he’s legit handsome and his smile is so dreamy. He’s just genuinely friendly and there’s this warmth from him that makes you forget he’s a star. I guess I’m used to seeing K-Pop stars being cold in real life, but definitely not Seungri! 

Ah, seeing him so close is definitely one for the books! Ah also, I would like to thank my Moonshot x Innisfree combo for keeping my foundation on point despite going crazy the entire night. hihihi~~ (I will review these two soon, promise!)

I’m beyond happy to see Seungri’s last show before he enlists. Their OT5 comeback may take a while because of their military schedule and all these sad controversies that still stir everything up unnecessarily! But hey, we’re all waiting at the Flower Road (꽃길) so I can only hope that the kings stay healthy and happy. 

My next goal is to see all BIGBANG members in their Final world tour in Seoul - 2020, 2021, who knows! Really hoping to have the same amazing opportunity like this to meet all of them next time. IT WILL HAPPEN I CAN FEEL IT! <3

Read more of my VIP Diares here or my other K-Pop shenanigans here.