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nevernonline · 7 months

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✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #16; the part we play.

synopsis: over the past ten years you’ve fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it’s clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex’s, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

word count: 1.5k

note: in-between photo sets is some writing!! xo

masterlist ▸ 015 leave it to the cullens (part 2). ▸ 017 happy trails.

Jumping out of bed and throwing on a random pair of sweatpants scattered on her floor in what y/n referred to as her “stress pile” of clothes, she ran down the hallway to the front door to check who she had kept waiting for over ten minutes.

Much to her surprise it wasn’t one of her obnoxious friends waking her and her overnight guest up so early, but a shady one. Joshua.

“Y/n? I know you’re here, I asked the front door man if he had seen you leave yet this morning? Hello?”

And with a couple more knocks pounding in her brain, she swung the door open to reveal a smiling old friend holding a bouquet of wild flowers and a box of pastries.

“Sorry. Hangover. Why are you here?”

“Tomorrow is your birthday?”

“Right. But, it's also 7:30 in the morning?”

“I thought I’d come by today so I didn’t disrupt whatever plans you have tomorrow with Seokmin and Jun. That’s okay?”

“Yeah.”

“So.. Can I come in? Or do you not want to have a chocolate croissant?”

“I do, but coffee! I’m out of coffee. Can we go get some? I can’t possibly have a pastry without it, silly.”

“Yeah, of course. Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Why don’t you just use the-”

In all of her attempts at protesting Joshua walking through her apartment and finding the boy hidden in the guest room, he still managed to somehow find a way in. Just like he was doing to her heart. She knew she shouldn’t even entertain the idea of spending a day with him and pretend that she has no idea the amount of blackmail he had a hand in, but a part of her couldn’t help it.

In all her daze of thinking of the moral repercussions of his and her own actions. She didn’t even notice him slipping back by her side. As she rapidly texted the man she unnoticeably had hidden in the room down the hall it was his time to sneak out like a secret to be kept.

“Ready?”

“Uh, yeah. Let’s go.”

“So, how was Wonwoo’s event?”

“Well for starters I had no idea that gamers drank so hard, I felt like I was back in freshman year of college trying to keep up with drunk Soonyoung and you at those dumb ass Dream Boy parties you used to take me to.”

“That hard, huh?”

“Yeah, I haven’t drank like that in so long. It’s fun once and a while I guess.”

Walking into the white walled coffee shop with Joshua felt like some sort of omen, but y/n couldn’t decide if it was a good one or a bad one just yet.

If Joshua was honest about his play in the game with Mimi, maybe someday down the road she could forgive him and patch up their friendship one last time. But, the more he waited to say anything, the more he lied and kept his secret the less she even believed he’d own up to his actions.

“What would you like?”

“Just a drip coffee please, large, no sugar or milk.”

“Okay, I’ll pay.”

“Wow. Thank you so much.”

Sensing y/n’s sarcasm, he smiled and turned towards the register placing their matching order and grabbing the cups as he handed her the steaming cup of fresh coffee and made their way back to her apartment.

Waiting to cross the street her front door opened, walking out was Minghao dressed in his same outfit from the night before, catching y/n’s eyes, as she quickly turned Joshua around to look at a dog passing by so Minghao could make his quick exit without any suspicion.

When she was sure he made his exit and got out of the line of sight, with Joshua by her side they headed back up to her apartment, announcing she needed to go use the restroom fast and search the bedroom that once belonged to another untrustworthy friend.

Under her laptop sitting on the desk, a small note was placed with just the corner of the purple sticky note sticking to the side.

‘Swan, by midnight tonight you’ll be one year older. I hope another trip around the sun brings you peace of mind and the happiness you truly deserve. See you tomorrow, MH.”

Placing the note under the cover of her laptop, she smiled to herself and decided now was the time to confront an elephant in the room.

She walked back up to Joshua sitting on her couch, the plate of chocolate croissants placed on the glass coffee table, two cups of coffee on either side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.”

“I need you to listen to me, like really listen and don’t deflect. I need you to tell me how you got my journal to Mimi.”

“I didn-”

“You did. I know it was you who took it, I just want to know why?”

“Just listen. I didn’t take it to give it to Mimi. I actually took it before she even got back in touch with me. And I didn’t just stumble upon it on my own time. Minnie showed me it, she wanted me to know how much I hurt you and how you felt about me because you never told me. You kept all those cards so close to your chest, I felt like I had to read more. So, the night of Mingyu’s bar opening, I had Mimi over at my house after, we were just catching up, talking, nothing too serious, she had just moved back and needed somewhere to stay for the night. She was the one who found your journal and took it and concocted the entire plan.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“I guess why didn’t you just tell me all of this at the beginning?”

“I was just going to bring you your diary back and ask you out, I had feelings for you too. I still do. I eventually was going to tell you everything. But, it just got so complicated and the day I came over and saw Minghao here, I got so pissed off at you for trusting him after he hurt me, I figured he’d hurt you too.”

“But he didn’t. You did.”

“I know. I should’ve just told you the truth from the beginning, but I was scared to lose you.”

“You already had lost me. How am I supposed to even believe a word you’re telling me right now?”

“Because, I have proof. The only reason I even still talk to Mimi is to make sure she doesn’t go too far.”

“Why did you fight with Minghao then?”

“He pisses me off. Simple as that. I knew he had helped Mimi. I knew he was being deceitful to you as well, but so was I. It was just a matter of who owned up to it first.”

“Alright. What else do you know?”

“I know that Minnie is helping Mimi. They’ve been in contact with each other for quite some time, even before Mimi moved back. I can’t tell you why only because I genuinely have no clue. But, I have a feeling she's trying to hide something about herself and not exposing you.”

“And Mingyu?”

“No. He has nothing to do with it.”

“Okay.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm, sure.”

��Do you think we can ever get past this? Even if we just stay friends or see each other once and a while?”

“If what you’re telling me is a hundred percent true, then I think we can. But, if I find out you’re lying to me, I will never speak to you again.”

“I can show you the texts. Between me and Mimi, Minnie, Minghao. Anyone involved.”

“Who sent me the bouquet? You right?”

“Yeah. It was just a warning to be careful about the people around you.”

“Okay. Well. Thanks for telling me, I guess.”

“There’s something else.”

“Uh, alright?”

“Tonight. There’s a party at Mingyu’s bar that Minnie was throwing for your birthday. I came over here initially to invite you. They told me only you’re invited. No Seokmin, Jun, or anyone else.”

“Why?”

“They wanted me to take you as a surprise.”

“My party is supposed to be tomorrow night?”

“Yeah.”

“So they have something planned for me and I feel like it’s safe to say it’s not good.”

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s safe to assume that yeah.”

“Okay, if you want to make it up to me. You’ll help me sneak Minghao and the dorks into the back of his restaurant.”

“Yes.”

“Call Jeonghan, tell him everything. Get him to cause a distraction so they can come inside. Text Minnie and ask if it’s okay you invite Seokmin to come with you and I. It's believable I wouldn’t go anywhere on my own without him and I’ll handle the rest.”

“Are you going to tell me what the rest is?”

“Yes, eventually.”

“Okay, let’s hurry, we have about three hours until I’m supposed to bring you.”

“What’s the dress code?”

“Formal. It's some sort of mask party.”

“Fuck.”

“So you’re still friends with Hao?”

“Yes, idiot. I heard you jiggle the doorknob this morning. Come on.”

taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi @hipsdofangirl@kissesfrmwonwoo@minhui896@wonwooz1@porridgesblog@jasssy051@soonyoungblr@saucegirlreads@musingsofananxiouspotato@young-adult-summer@punkhazardlaw@bibs-world@the-swageyama-tobiyolo@wonuulvr@woozixo@k-drama-adict@90s-belladonna@blaycke@dnylwoo@to-mi-yo, @nonononranghaee

note: hi me again!! lol. I hope you enjoy this messy lil installment. not my favorite (everyone says this sometimes ik ik) let me know what you think our resident traitor mimi is up too 👀

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somebodytoundress · 2 years

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jesslupe fic recs

disclaimer every ship for this pairing is wonderful these are just the ones that drive me literally insane anyway instead of providing summaries all they get is a little review thats me screaming

walking home backwards by @rosiefingers (rated e, 4/6)

friends with benefits to lovers is something that can be so personal and this is just the most excellent fwb to lovers ever

you're my girl by @halosdiaz (rated t, 1/1)

i think bia would put a gun to my head if i didnt rec one of their fics anyway bia is a new york apartment truther and im a farm truther but today we celebrate our differences bc this fic is cute

softened stone by robinwriteschirps (rated e, 1/1)

ROAD TRIP thats all i have to say

got me dirty and sweet by @getmean (rated t, 1/1)

first fic that described the very intimate Lesbian feeling of accidentally glancing up someone's (in this case boxers) shorts and feeling forbidden things and for that it's my favorite

with a grin of salt by @charactershoesfic (rated t, 1/1)

this fic killed me, im dead, that's all the information you get

hot stove season by @dannypuro (rated t, 1/2)

frustrating but like in a good way i had to throw at least one little angsty diddy in here sorry guys (im not sorry)

keep your electric eye on me, babe by @poorlittlegreenie13 (rated e, 1/1)

jess really pavlov'd lupe into being attracted to her and i think we should all applaud that

shrimpin' aint easy by @thereforebucket (rated t, 1/1)

it's fishermen jess thats all you need to know its very compelling i think

wild by @rosiefingers (rated m, 1/1)

butch lesbians r soooo personal like wow

will probably be updated as i find more bangers

#fic recs #jesslupe #a league of their own #lupe x jess #jess mccready x lupe garcia

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heartstringsduet · 7 months

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Ohhh so many weird writing questions to choose from, Michelle!! How about #7 and to make you think, #19!! ❤️🦎

Hi Desi-dear 🥰🥰 Thank you! 7. What is your deepest joy about writing? The best moment is when it FLOWS. Like it pours out of you with nothing to stop it and your fingers have figured something out before your mind has and suddenly a page fills and leads you down a new and better storyline and you think...wow this is all me. I did this?! I DID THIS! And that is why I write! 19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going? I started writing when I was 14. I was horrible at it. And I mean...HORRIBLE. My best friend straight up told me to my face and she was right lol. But I wasn't deterred. I was a pretty angsty child (look at me now....so different...ehem) and it definitely was a place for me to explore that without any actual repercussions. But then back then the world of fanfiction was wild and free and different LOL. Started out with Naruto then Glee and then fully stopped writing for nearly 6 years because of mental health reasons mostly and a lot of changes in my life. I only restarted end of 2022 for Glee, putting down 100k in two months like a mad woman and I still haven't published them ?? oops. And then Tarlos took over my life and you can see that surely lol. I love writing. I really hope I will never stop loving it again ecause it's my favorite hobby now. 🥰 Road blocks are definitely debilitating self-doubt and being tired or in pain a lot of days. But I ride the waves of that a little better now. ☀️

#michelle answers #weird questions for writers

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katzuyas · 5 years

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hp au twitter thread

in which when yuuri is still in school he gets involved with the bad crowd and ends up a follower of a dark lord, whose main agenda is ruling over the world and bringing dark magic to its former glory.

yuuri doesn't hate dark magic, he's fairly proficient, but he's far from being able to harm another person with malice. he's a great duelist tho, so he quickly becomes one of the leaders of the dark lord's inner circle. japan falls, then china, korea, all of asia. they triumph. and so the dark lord sets his eyes on russia -- their nearest neighbour.

while they campaign at the border, during a skirmish with the light community there, yuuri meets HIM. they're on the opposite sides of this battle, but yuuri thinks they might be one at heart, because while they duel none of their spells are lethal. yuuri takes a hex to the leg, he sends a curse to his shoulder, but it's clear that they are more than evenly matched.

yuuri can't help but admire the other wizard. his long silver hair blows in the wind and colours with the light of every spell that silently leaves his pale wand with the force of shooting stars that yuuri sees in his eyes. other spells fly around them, but in those moments yuuri can't help but stop and clutch his wand harder, because this is not what he wanted to do with his life. fighting, duelling, this was never his dream. he wanted to create spells, to give himself to knowledge, and yet...

he gets a curse right into his chest.

he falls back into the muddy ground, gasping for breath. there's a bleeding gash there, but it isn't deep. yet another reminder that the other doesn't want to hurt him.

yuuri hears him come closer, sees him crouch next to him, feels the tip of his wand press against his neck.

"I will let you live if you stop," the man says.

yuuri thinks of the dark lord, his family that would die should he betray him, and he laughs.

"do you think it's that easy?"

the smile he gets in return surprises him. it's sad, pitying, and something unfurls in yuuri's heart.

"I know it isn't," the man says before yuuri can decide what he's feeling. "but would you want to, if you could?"

yuuri looks into his eyes. the man who's more than his equal is, in fact, the most beautiful human yuuri has ever seen. even despite the dried blood on his face.

"but I can't," yuuri says.

and then he grabs his wrist, pulls hard, and rolls them over so that he can thrust his wand into the man's face.

"obliviate."

the man goes slack as yuuri withdraws the memory of their meeting from his mind, only to leave him there. alone, in the mud.

he thinks that's it. he hopes. but he sees him again. and again. and again. at every raid, the man with silver hair comes to find yuuri, duels with him, wins, and yuuri uses all the tricks he has to erase his memory.

but that only helps as much. his own memories are intact.

it becomes a habit to seek the head of silver among the light wizards, to make his way through the battlefield towards him, to fight him with all he has only to end up losing. oddly enough, yuuri finds some enjoyment in it. even more in the snippets of conversation they share.

but then, one day, the enjoyment is replaced by something else. something more. because that day, yuuri sees him fall.

and his heart falls with him.

he doesn't think twice before he races down the hill to where he saw the silver hair blow back as the man falls, blood spilling onto his fur-lined robes. yuuri drops to his knees next to him, murmurs all the healing spells he knows, and it helps. the cut is nasty, but it heals.

there will be consequences, yuuri knows this even when the clouded blue gaze traces the lines of his profile. there will be consequences, yuuri knows as he touches his wand to a silver temple and casts a sleeping spell. there will be consequences, yuuri knows as he lets him live.

and there are.

yuuri screams under the wand of his master, promises to fix his mistake, cries and sobs later while his body aches. but the feeling in his heart, well. it's light. it's lighter than anything he's felt before. so he protects the small flames of hope, of life, of love, with all his might. and then... then he meets him again. it's like a part of yuuri's heart has transferred to him during the brief minutes of his healing, but it's undeniable.

and he isn't the only one who feels it.

"why did you save me?" the man asks, wand pointing to the ground.

yuuri hasn't dropped his, but no spells were cast between them.

"I don't know," yuuri replies, honestly. "it just felt like the right thing to do."

"why, then? why hurt others? am I so different than them?"

the man waves a hand in a broad gesture and yuuri lowers his guard when he takes a look around him. wizards are dying everywhere he stops his eyes. light and dark, all for one madman's gain.

"we can't stop him," yuuri says. he meets blue eyes. "I can't. no one can."

"we can try."

yuuri's heart aches, longs, but his reason is stronger still. "what use is trying when I know we will fail?"

the man doesn't answer for long. he walks closer, so close that yuuri can smell him.

"if we stand together, we have a chance. please, stay with us."

yuuri opens his mouth to argue, but the man takes his hand. yuuri's fingers are gnarled with tension, but the other hand is warm. slowly, yuuri's fingers uncurl, slide into the warm, open hand that holds him.

"stay with me," the man asks.

"i can't," yuuri says, closing his eyes as they fill with tears. "my family... they will die for this. I have to-- I have--"

he rips away, barely able to breathe. he turns his back on his worst enemy, and freezes when he catches him directly in his arms.

"don't go," the man begs. "we will find a way. we'll rescue your parents, your friends, and then--"

"can you rescue the whole nation?" yuuri asks, looking into the night sky.

a star winks and falls. yuuri closes his eyes and makes a wish that he knows will never come true.

"I can't, but--"

"what's your name?" yuuri interrupts him.

"what? why would you ask that now?"

"I want to know. please."

the arms around yuuri tighten. "it's victor."

"victor... thank you."

"for what?"

"for trying." yuuri pulls away from victor's arms. "I will do my best."

"your best? at what? I don't understand--"

"my name is yuuri," yuuri tells him instead. "I will see you again, victor. in this life or the next."

the wide blues eyes are the last thing yuuri allows himself to see of victor before he stuns him and apparates away.

yuuri has never been good at planning. he was the passionate type, always. he did things first, then thought and regretted them later. not this time.

months of careful planning, of plotting and seducing and making connections and allies and friends, have brought fruit. the inner circle of four generals of death stood surrounded by the dark lord's followers. the portkeys that meant to transport them have been rigged, destinations changed in secret. the three generals apart from yuuri have been caught and imprisoned, replaced by polyjuiced fakes. armies of european light wizards’ coalition waited for them, ready to contain the dark lord's forces as soon as they would apparate in.

and the dark lord knew nothing.

but, oh, how naive it was of yuuri to think that.

the moment they apparated in, he realized the mistake. this wasn't the place they needed to be in. this... this was hell. this was his punishment.

he watched his friends fall as the dark lord triumphed again. and there, surrounded by his former comrades, now turned enemies, yuuri turned around and faced the dark lord.

he didn't stand a chance. of course not. but the dark lord was arrogant. he didn't kill him with his first spell, not his second or third, no. he liked to play. so he played, and tore yuuri apart at his leisure. a cut here, a curciatus curse there, a blood boiling hex later.

just as yuuri's screams turned into howling and his thoughts into mindless prayers for death, the pain stopped. through hazy with agony eyes, yuuri could see white, white and brown and...

and silver.

silver of the hair of the man who now stood between him and the dark lord.

yuuri wanted to stop him, to shout and scream at victor to run away, but his throat was too sore. he couldn't speak, couldn't move -- not with how badly wounded he was. all he could do was watch victor duel the dark lord, while his heart hurt more than it had during torture.

yuuri watched how victor kept up with the dark lord, how he stood between them fiercely and protectively, and then he watched how he began loosing ground, how bit by bit the dark lord's smirk returned to his face. and so, finally, yuuri watched how victor limped and fell and--

groping half-blindly for his wand, yuuri pushed himself up with the last effort of his body. the dark lord's wand was already raised, the killing curse at the tip of his tongue, yuuri is sure. victor's eyes met yuuri's over the distance and victor smiled as if it was his last.

yuuri has never used it purposefully in his entire life, not once, despite having cast it several times. but this time... this time he did so with his entire heart in it. he lifted his wand, lifted his eyes to the dark lord's back, and said:

"avada kedavra."

two bodies fell to the ground at the same time.

yuuri's breathing was harsh and desperate, and his grip on his wand loosened when blood begun pouring out of him faster, as if to make sure he doesn't see more of this madness.

but the dark lord was dead. and so, yuuri was free.

he didn't think he'd wake up, but he has. to a white ceiling, white sheets, a bed in a hospital. and to a head of silver hair resting against the sheets. victor, silly, wonderful victor, who fell asleep in the chair right next to yuuri's bed.

tears fill yuuri's eyes. he fights against his body to lift his arm and gently touch victor's head. he could've whispered 'rennervate' as well, because victor bolts awake at once. blue eyes meet yuuri's and victor's mouth drops open.

they don’t speak for a moment, just look at each other. and it's enough.

"you killed him," victor says at last. "it's over. we won."

"his followers?" yuuri asks in a voice scratchy with disuse. victor helps him get a drink of water, before he answers: "caught, imprisoned. gone. we're safe now. we've won. and it's all thanks to you."

yuuri smiles.

"no. it's all because of you. if we never met..."

"will you please do something for me then?" victor quickly asks. "to repay me, if you will."

"anything," yuuri promises before he even hears it, and it makes victor smile.

victor's hand takes yuuri's. their fingers slide together.

"stay," victor says.

yuuri closes his eyes and nods.

and he stays. in the light, where he belongs, and where his heart belongs: with the man it has chosen, and who chose him as well. against all odds.

patreon | ko-fi

#yuri on ice #victuuri #viktuuri #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #my fic #wow this was a wild angsty road #I don't even know where this came from #quite literally I just said this morning that I wasn't ready to invest in sarazanmai bc of the angst #and now this #tydcfvugihj #WHAT HAPPENED

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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Hi! So, I absolutely love your series where the MC is the kid of Lucifer, and I was wondering if I could request that with Diavolo and Barbatos? •v•

:0 you definitely can! Right now I’m just doing Diavolo, but Barb’s will be up sometime soon!

MC is Half Demon and Oh Shit They’re Diavolo’s Kid-

Diavolo wasn’t exactly what one would expect of the prince of Hell, I mean, he was suppressing the urge to bounce in his seat from pure excitement. I mean, his exchange program was starting! Humans, demons, and angels, all together, his dream was coming true.

All that was left was for the student to arrive, the portal opened, and the human fell flat on their back. Oof, maybe Diavolo should have set up some kind of landing zone filled with pillows. No matter! The human was-

…

What peculiar eyes this human had…

Oh… oh dear…

Dad-volo

The MC was his child, no question about it. This was… very unexpected. Well, the entire assembly hall was completely quiet, and the kid looked like they were getting impatient.

“HEY! Mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”

After that, Diavolo launches into his explanation, also the explanation that he’s definitely this kid’s dad. Kid was not impressed, they tried to square up with Diavolo and Lucifer had never been more confused as to what to do.

Well, the moment MC sprouted wings and launched themselves at Diavolo, Dia caught them with one hand and continued speaking like nothing happened.

MC, please calm down… Diavolo didn’t know they existed, let him make it up to them! They’re going to stay at the Demon Lord’s Castle! Dia’s going to be a good dad!

“This feels like the plot to the world’s most messed up fairytale.” MC jammed their hands into their pockets and grumbled. “I get sucked into hell and find out I’m royalty there. Great.”

Diavolo managed to smile and awkwardly reach out to give them a pat on the head, then retracted his hand after the kid shot him a glare. “Well, it’s not a very traditional fairytale, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”

“Mm, sure.” MC mumbled.

Okay, so his child wasn’t that enthusiastic about the exchange program, but Diavolo was sure they’d come around.

Dia tried everything he could possibly think of to get his kid to both like him and enjoy their time as an exchange student. A lot of things had… mixed results.

Also, legally recognizing MC as his child and legitimizing them caused a big stink amongst the nobles who were opposed to the exchange program to begin with. So MC then had to deal with a few assassins. Wonderful. Fantastic. Show stopping. Dia, be a good dad and comfort your angsty murder target- I MEAN preteen.

They do manage to build a good relationship fairly quickly despite their less than stellar first impressions, and Diavolo made them a promise that he knew he wouldn’t ever break: he would let them live as normal a childhood as possible.

This means that MC gets to do all the normal kid stuff that Diavolo wasn’t allowed to do. It honestly works out great for everyone. MC gets to live their life, Diavolo gets the satisfaction of knowing that his kid’s having fun, and Barbatos doesn’t need to worry about MC causing chaos in the castle.

Man… does this kid’s magic potential scare the shit out of everyone though…

Tired Uncle Lucifer

No. This has to be a violation of his worker rights. It cannot be legal for him to be this stressed.

He knew this exchange program was a bad idea. LUCIFER FUCKING KNEW IT. This kid was judging him. Why did he suddenly feel self conscious about every single one of his features? This child was picking him apart and they hadn’t even said anything!

He confiscated Asmo’s phone immediately, this was a matter of national security! Satan’s too! Beel as- oh shit Lucifer may have to give Beel the heimlich maneuver, then take his phone.

When all the brothers eventually got back to the HOL, they were greeted with Mammon getting shaken down by Levi.

“Lucifer! Ya won’t believe this! Levi- what’s wrong with you?” “The exchange student is Diavolo’s child.” “What..?” “*pops the cork off a bottle of Demonus* the exchange student’s Diavolo’s child.”

The worst part about this kid was that they took to the privileges of being royalty like a fish to water. MC went out and did whatever the fuck they wanted, and Lucifer needed to make sure a state of national emergency wasn’t called just because MC picked a fight at RAD.

It didn’t help that MC was just so unimpressed with Lucifer. Anytime Lucifer would tell them not to do something they would just raise their eyebrows and challenge his authority without saying a word.

What the fuck.jpg

The things he does for his prince boyfriend…

Cool Uncle Mammon

Huh, so this little pipsqueak is Lord Diavolo‘s kid? Hm, do ya think they’d let him into the royal treasury? No? Okay… lame.

Mammon then decides this kid would be just perfect for scamming people! Who is going to say no to the Crown Prince’s kid? A suicidal person, that’s who!

And the kid is… up for it? Wow, Mammon didn’t even have to grovel! Awesome!

It’s such a shame that Lucifer came in and promptly removed MC from Mammon’s presence. Tsk, killjoy…

Mammon and MC do get along swimmingly after MC stops angsting. Whenever they hang out it’s pure chaos.

And they would have gotten away with it too- wait, they do get away with it. Because who’s going to question the Crown Prince’s kid? >:)

Reclusive Uncle Leviathan

Levi was in the middle of throttling Mammon for his money back when Lucifer burst through the door looking like he had spent over 1000 Grimm on a gacha game only to not get the card he wanted.

And where was that human he said would be staying with them? Huh? The human’s HUH????!!!!

… wack. Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on that Student Council Meeting…

Either way, ew, new person he needed to talk to. NO THANKS. Well, no thanks until MC started to visit the HOL to hang out with Mammon. Of course those two normies decided to bug him. OF COURSE.

Levi finally snapped when MC loudly proclaimed that they could totally beat Levi in Mario Kart. Haha, NO. Levi challenged the little runt to a 1 v 1 race on Rainbow Road.

Kid lost. Obviously. Rainbow Road is rigged.

Honestly, kid’s alright. Still a total normie, but not completely terrible.

Cat Uncle Satan

Huh, a half human child of the soon to be demon king, how very interesting.

Oh, and just look at Lucifer’s face. :D priceless. Satan wished he was fast enough to get his DDD out to snap a picture, but he wasn’t able to…

But back to MC, oh how very intriguing. How much power do they have in comparison to Diavolo? Will using that power rip their fragile little body apart? Would they learn to control it? Satan was just dying to find out.

His feelings on the child themselves were mixed at best. They were clearly unhappy with the situation and Satan could sympathize, being thrust into a completely new world and then being told you can’t leave and are also royalty? That has to be hard. But this kid was still being an unreasonable little shit.

Satan continued to try and study MC from afar until the kid themselves walked right up to him and half demanded half pleaded for his help in studying for a test.

Not being one to avoid an opportunity to flex how smart he is, Satan agreed to help out. (Nerrrrd)

And honestly, it went well. When the kid wasn’t being a little shit, they were actually quite pleasant to be around.

Overly Affectionate Uncle Asmo

…wut

Listen, when Asmo asked Lucifer to pick a cute human, he didn’t mean cute as in CHILD.

This kid was DIAVOLO’S?! What lucky human had gotten to have the experience of [Jesus Fucking Christ, Asmo I’m not writing what he said for the sake of the nation]

Anyhoo~ little MC just made his heart go “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!” They were so cute Asmo could just eat them up!

But they were so mean! That scowl they always had on was going to give them wrinkles and ruin their perfectly cute face!

Sigh, oh well. He can’t manually rearrange people’s expressions. What he can do is take this child shopping. Poor Diavolo was constantly in his RAD uniform, this poor innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate.

The kid continued to scowl at everything, but at the same time, their little quips were very entertaining. This little kid spitting verbal venom at anyone who displeased them reminded Asmo of someone… he just couldn’t place who, but they definitely had amazing hair and a cute face :3

Hungry Uncle Beel

Where’s the takeout- I mean human? What’s happening? …are all humans this small? Dang, that’s barely enough for a snack.

So the human’s not going to live with us because they’re not fully human and Diavolo’s kid? Huh. Wild. Anyway, what’s for dinner?

Beel’s not too invested in this drama, he misses Belphie too much to be that interested…

The kid’s weirdly interested in how cool and strong Beel is though. MC tails him to the gym pretty often.

Diavolo and Beel already being gym buddies send tweet-

Since this benevolent little shit likes Beel so much, they decided to take it upon themselves to help with the family drama.

Beel finds that very sweet 🥺

Murder sleepy Uncle Belphie

Oh man… if you thought Belphie was being unfair to L!MC due to their parentage… hoo boy…

When this kid waltzed up the attic steps like they ran the place, Belphie needed to hold himself back from trying to break down the door and throttle this kid.

Pff, of course Diavolo would have a half human kid. Of course.

…kid beat the shit out of him when he tried to kill them. We stan this MC.

After all is said and done, Belphie still isn’t overly fond of MC. They’re brash and rude and only funny 40% of the time. They don’t even like napping 😒

But Beel likes the little runt, so Belphie and MC put up with each other.

Bonus! Your Angelic Uncle Simeon’s Chihuahua

:0 friend!

MC: *speaks*

>:0 not friend! Begone! *throws crucifix*

#obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #Obey me Headcanons #obey me! headcanons #obey me Diavolo #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor

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scuttling · 3 years

Text

Stay at Home DILF

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,863 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Insecure Hotch, Oral sex, Fingering, Unprotected sex, A little angsty by accident Summary: Aaron retires from the BAU when the new baby is born, but a year later the lack of structure, sleep, and time for himself means changes to his body he's not very proud of. When the thought of having another child is brought up, how will he and his wife work through his insecurities to make the perfectly imperfect, happy family? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Honey, I have to get going—do you need me to drop Jack off at school, or are you good?” Professor Hotchner slides her foot into a flesh-toned pump, leaning against the kitchen table for support and stealing a grape from Jack’s fruit salad. He narrows his eyes, then sticks out his tongue, and she does the same. “Do you want me to starve, Jackrabbit?”

“You won’t starve. Get your own grapes.” So full of sass, that one. Seven is such a fun age. She decides to blame the mixture of Aaron’s genes and Haley’s, and she pulls out her phone to send Haley a quick text.

Your son is a menace in the morning.

Haley: Gets that from his dad.

Aaron enters the kitchen, holding their one year old daughter Mia, and he sticks her in her highchair, puts her breakfast in front of her, and leans toward his wife.

“I’m good, I’ll take him,” he says, and kisses her lips. “Mia and I will take big brother Jack to school, won’t we?” Mia is obsessed with Jack—her first word was Jack, or rather, Ack, which was super cute—so she giggles happily, and her mother can’t help but smile. Their little family is absolutely perfect.

She leans in for another kiss from Aaron, and then another, and then maybe one more...

“You’re getting distracted,” Jack says, and she looks over at him with a raised eyebrow, then back to Aaron. He shrugs.

“It was on one of his vocabulary sheets.” Figures.

“Well, maybe I find my boys distracting. Let me give you kisses and we’ll find out!” She launches herself at him, kissing his head and his cheeks, and he laughs, and she knows she’s going to be late for work, but she can’t pass up moments like these, she just can’t.

She gives him a hug and tells him to have a good day, then she kisses Mia, and then she puts her arms around Aaron’s neck and kisses him goodbye. Before she pulls away, something comes over her—the warmth of this perfect morning, the overwhelming love for both of their sassy, silly kids, or maybe the fact that they’ve been too busy for sex lately and she’s constantly horny for him—and she looks up at him and whispers, “we should have another baby.”

Aaron grins immediately.

“Yeah we should.” They kiss a few more times, quickly, smiling against each other's lips, and he pats her hip because he knows she has to go. “We’ll talk more later, but yes. I want to. I love you.” He takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply, and she sighs, grabs her bags, and heads out the door. Work is work; as the youngest professor in the English department, her schedule is jam packed with classes, lectures, morning office hours, but despite all that, it seems that Aaron is having the more difficult day.

They both love that he was able to retire from the BAU early to be a stay at home dad when Mia was born—he does consult for them occasionally, but has no official title, doesn’t have to travel—and he’s amazing at it, but she knows her baby can be a handful even on a good day. The texts she’s been getting all morning only solidify that knowledge.

Aaron: FYI - Mia hates bananas this week.

Aaron: What do they put in this applesauce, crack? She’s tearing around here like a bat out of hell.

Aaron: Okay, she’s your child, I officially renounce her. I put on The White Album and she started crying.

Maybe she prefers Abbey Road?

Aaron: No. Unlike her mother, she has taste.

You wound me, Hotchner.

She works through lunch, grading papers on The Call of the Wild, but when Aaron’s name lights up the display on her phone, she puts her pen down and smiles, puts it on speaker.

She’s sorry she did, because Mia is wailing in the background, and it’s very clearly her, I’m exhausted, asshole, leave me alone, cry, which makes her wonder why she’s not taking a nap. She knows she resists Aaron sometimes, doesn’t want him to leave her alone in her room, which is so sweet and also so, so annoying.

“Hi, sweetheart. Are you having a little trouble over there?” He takes a deep breath and sighs.

“She won’t go down, baby, even if I sit in the rocking chair beside her. It’s been twenty minutes.” Wow. He put up with it longer than she would have.

“Put her in her crib with Stuffy Bear and just let her cry; I know you hate that, but she’ll give up eventually.” He groans softly.

“I can’t; I feel so bad.”

She smiles. Her warm-hearted man.

“She does this because she knows you’ll give in and do whatever she wants. I promise you, she’ll be happier for it; she sounds miserable.”

“I don’t know…” he says, and she can tell he’s not going to do it. She picks up her pen and skims the paper she abandoned.

“Are you tired?” She doesn't wait for an answer, because she knows he is: Jack had a bad dream last night and woke them both up, and Aaron went to lay with him until he fell asleep because he knew she had an early morning. It was almost time for her alarm when he made it back to bed. “If you want to try to nap, she’s going to have to nap. Do it for her, yourself, me, a combination of the three of us. She won’t be mad at you; she won’t even remember.”

“What if I give her abandonment issues?” he presses, and she closes her eyes for a moment.

“Aaron, I love you so much. You’re such a great dad, and our kids are lucky to have you. But you have to loosen the reins just a little, especially if… if we are going to have another baby.” The thought makes her smile, and she can tell he’s smiling down the line, too.

“Right. Loosen the reins. Just put her in her crib,” she can hear that he does that, “and give her Stuffy Bear, and let her cry.” He blows out a breath, and she can hear the door click shut behind him as he leaves her room. She’s proud of him, but she also knows he’s going to sit in front of the video monitor and watch to make sure she falls asleep, and that he’ll probably work on laundry after that and not actually take a nap of his own.

He insists he’s doing fine when she brings it up, but the way he sacks out like a corpse when they get into bed doesn’t exactly have her convinced.

“I love you, and miss you,” he says when it’s slightly quieter, though she can faintly hear the cries through the monitor. “It made me really happy this morning when you said we should have another baby. We make perfect babies, have you noticed?” She hides her grin behind her hand, because if anyone walked by her office they’d think she’s insane with how widely she’s smiling.

“I have noticed, but since we only have the one and I can’t take any credit for Jack, I figured we should probably make another. Maybe the same way we made Mia…” They’re both convinced it was a weekend when Jack was at Haley’s and the two of them went to town on each other, true marathon sex where they only stopped for food and water and she coaxed him to hardness so many times she felt like a damn sex goddess.

“Hmm. I remember that with fondness, and would love to do that again. You know Haley said she’d take Mia on one of Jack’s weekends if we ever needed her to.”

Her life is pretty damn perfect, with her gorgeous, caring husband, and her two awesome kiddos, and a job she loves, but the most unexpectedly sweet part is that Haley is so comfortable with her, and that she and Aaron were able to get past the ugliness of their divorce to eventually become friends again. It’s not something they take for granted.

“Maybe we should take her up on it this weekend,” she says, trying to sound a little sultry. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s been a while since you pet my kitty.” For some reason, this particular phrase makes Aaron blush and get insanely horny, and she’s hoping to tease him so much the rest of the week that their weekend is one neither of them ever forget, so she’s pulling out the big guns.

“It’s been far too long, and I’m sorry. I can’t wait, baby. I’ll call her here in a few; I know you have to get to your next lecture.” She looks down at her watch, and it is about time to clean up and head over. She sighs happily down the line.

“Okay, I love and miss you; try to take a power nap. I promise, she’ll be fine.”

“I will.” He won’t. “Talk to you soon.” When she gets home, Aaron has dinner ready; she told him to hold off, that she’d help when she got there, but he has always been an overachiever.

Mia is already in her high-chair, waiting patiently for once in her little life; she kisses her forehead, breathes in her sweet baby smell, and then makes her way to her husband.

“Looks good, honey,” she says as he sets the table, and she leans up for a kiss, but when she presses her hand to his stomach like she always does, he pulls back a little. “Is everything okay? Did you have a bad afternoon?”

“No, it wasn’t bad after the nap fiasco,” he responds, but he sounds distracted. Maybe he was asked to look at a case, or something, and that’s still on his mind? She leans against his shoulder, puts a hand on his back and attempts to push up his t-shirt, to skim her hand up along his spine, which always comforts him, but again, he shifts away from her touch. She sighs and steps back.

“You're going to give me a complex, Aaron. If I did something to upset you, please tell me so I can apologize and try to make it better.” He turns to look at her face, and his formerly tense jaw softens a little; he presses his lips to hers, just a peck.

“No, you didn’t do anything. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.” He smiles softly, and she’s sure he is tired, but this seems like something more.

“You’d tell me if something else was bothering you, right? You know I’m here for you.”

“Of course I would, and of course I do. I love you,” he breathes against her mouth, and then he goes in for a longer kiss and she gets, as Jack said earlier, a little distracted. When the kiss breaks, she sighs happily.

“I love you. Missed those lips,” she murmurs, and then she runs a hand over his hair. “If the kids wake up again tonight, I’ll get them. You need to rest.” He shakes his head.

“You have another full day tomorrow,” he counters, and it’s so sweet that he keeps up with the schedule she has posted on the fridge, but still. She puts her hand on her hip.

“And you don’t? It’s my turn. Let me help.” He looks like he wants to argue, but she gives him the glare he knows means she will talk about this all night if he doesn’t agree; she’s not the sponsor of the university’s debate team for nothing, and even his prosecutorial ways have nothing on her.

“Okay,” he sighs, and she smiles and kisses him and then goes to get Jack and make sure he’s cleaned up for dinner.

That night when the two of them are getting ready for bed, she’s surprised as hell when he stops her from pulling one of his t-shirts—her typical sleepwear—over her head. She sets it down, arches her brow, and he guides her back onto the bed with a grin and puts his hands on her hips.

“What’s happening right now?” she asks, because before Mia, sure, Aaron would treat her to all manner of orgasm-inducing behavior at random, and she would do the same, but since Mia—especially in the last six months or so—their sexual encounters have been few and far between. It’s no one’s fault, and they’re both very clearly still attracted to each other; it’s just one of those things that falls by the wayside when you have a new baby and a hectic life and you don’t get enough sleep.

Needless to say, she is a little confused by this turn of events.

“I’m attempting to worship my gorgeous fucking wife,” he murmurs, and he leans up and kisses her stomach, licks a long line up from her belly button. Her breath hitches. “Gonna put another little baby in here—but it’s always beautiful.” He slowly moves his lips higher, over her ribcage, and holds her there. “You’re perfect, you know?”

“Aaron.” Her fingers come up to sweep through his hair; her heart aches with love and tenderness. He moves up, presses open-mouthed kisses to each of her breasts, then covers them with his hands and squeezes. She’s a panting, dripping mess, and more than anything she wants to strip him naked, pull him closer, get him inside her.

“I love you just as you are; I want you just as you are. Always have, always will.” He smooths his hands up over her throat, and brings her mouth to his for a deep, soulful kiss. She hadn’t even realized she’s been feeling repressed, but his touch tonight makes her feel so beautiful and special… It's incredible how close she is from only that.

“Make love to me,” she whispers, and he kisses her again, but then he slides back down her body.

“Want to taste you,” he says instead, and he gets his hands on her hips again and his mouth on her pussy, looks up at her while he licks and sucks like he’s gone without for ages—which he has, she figures, but it’s blowing her mind, her fingers scratching at the sheets, her neck arched. He massages her hips as his tongue works, as he grinds against the bed, and she comes with a whimper, because her body is so overwhelmed by how good she feels that she can’t even properly vocalize it.

Aaron comes up, just a little, rests his head on her stomach, and she smooths her hands over his hair and his shoulders, since that’s all she can reach.

“Come up and let me touch you—or you can come inside me.” She will happily take either option, but he just kisses her belly and shakes his head.

“No, I’m good. Just really tired.” She frowns, can’t recall a time in her life when they didn’t both get off during sex; he catches her expression and runs his hands up her body. “Really, I’m okay. I just wanted to do that before I passed out.” He smiles, and she doesn’t like it, but he climbs off of her and goes to the bathroom, and she pulls on the t-shirt and crawls into bed. Two days later, she’s sitting in her office grading tests when she hears a knock at the door. She looks up, and it’s Aaron, of course, looking so gorgeous in a black polo and jeans.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Where’s Mia?” she asks with a smile. He leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“She’s with her Aunt Penelope for a few hours.”

“Why? Is everything okay?” Penelope is at work, she knows, because she texted her earlier about something unrelated and she’d mentioned that she and Spencer were having coffee and that he said hello.

“Everything‘s fine,” he assures her, and he enters the room fully, closes the door behind him… and locks it. “Can’t your husband come visit you during your super secret not-really-office-hours?” She raises an eyebrow, both at his question and the fact that he locked the door. What exactly is he planning to do, she wonders?

“You can, but you don’t. I guess I’m just surprised.”

“Well today I decided to. I missed you so much.” He walks around her desk and leans over her for a couple of kisses. “Have you missed me?” She rolls her eyes, smiles.

“Of course I missed you. I miss you every second I’m away from you.” She reaches out, wants to hug him, pull him closer, but he takes a step back and crooks his finger, encouraging her to follow him.

He’s being really weird, but he’s also being really hot. She decides to play along.

She stands, walks over to him, and he carefully clears a spot on her desk, knows she has a system and doesn’t like a mess; when she’s within reach, he puts his hands on her waist and lifts her up onto it, her ass where a stack of tests had just been. Fuck.

“I want to get this dress off of you,” he says, voice low, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses her, rough and deep. “Can I take it off, baby? Can I make you come?”

Everything is happening so fast her head is spinning—it’s not like him to just show up at her office, to try to have sex with her there, especially when their dry spell has been, up until recently, like the damn Sahara.

He must sense her confusion, her apprehension, because he kisses slowly along the side of her throat, down the v-neck of her dress, making her eyelids flutter.

“The door’s locked, and no one even knows we’re in here. Can I take it off?” She pants, thinks about this for a second, but then he slides a hand over her thigh, pushing her skirt up, and she gets a little distracted. She nods, and he kisses her hard and unties the sash of her wrap dress, pushes it off her shoulders. She’s glad she wore a matching set of bra and panties, because this is like prime fantasy material and she wants to try to remember every detail.

He kisses her mouth, soft and sweet, then tugs the straps of her bra down her shoulders, pulls the cups down so her breasts fall out of them. She moans, a little startled, and he dips his head to mouth at her nipples, rests one hand on her lower back and one on her stomach—probably because she looks like she’s about to slide off the desk and onto the floor like a blob of jelly. She knows that’s how she feels.

When he’s gotten her thoroughly worked up, almost trembling with the need for more, he pushes her panties aside and presses a finger into her, and she whimpers, wraps her hand around his neck for support when he starts to pump it deeply inside.

“What has gotten into you?” she breathes, and her hips chase the pleasure he brings; the hand on her back moves to her ass, squeezes it.

“I love you and I want you. I want to make you happy, I want you to feel good.”

“Me—me too,” she gasps as he moves faster, staring right into his eyes. “I love you, want you. Want to make you happy, feel good.” She cards her fingers through his hair and stretches for a desperate, eager kiss. “I want you so badly, baby, please.”

“I’m right here. You have me,” he murmurs, but that’s not what she means and he has to know it. Just in case he doesn’t, though, she makes herself loud and clear; relationships are all about communication, after all.

“I want you to put your cock in my pussy, I want you to come in me. I want you to fucking ruin me, Aaron, I want you to shove your dick in me and keep shoving.” She sounds unhinged, but she can’t stop.

He adds a second finger—not what she wants—and roughly gropes her breast—it feels so good, but it’s not what she wants. Why won’t he give her what she wants?

“Shh, just come on my hand, it’s okay. I’ll fuck you later, in our bed, baby,” he promises. “Just come now, okay? Right here, right now for me.”

She does, because even if he’s being unnecessarily aggravating, it’s still Aaron. She’s desperate for him, always has been, always will be. She comes loud and high and she clutches him tightly and he kisses her and coos words of love and affection into her ear. She gets cleaned up, and they go for lunch, and they can’t take their eyes off each other.

Something’s very wrong, and she can’t quite put her finger on it.

That evening when she gets home, Aaron is feeling guilty. She’s not sure why, but he’s executing all of his patented guilty trademark behaviors: he offers her a glass of wine, runs her a bath, rubs her feet, even though he’s been the one home with the baby all day. She’s tempted to ask if he’s cheating on her, as a joke, but that’s never funny, especially when she knows he’s being shifty and weird about something.

When they’re laying in bed, he sets down his book and looks over at her.

“I meant to tell you, Haley isn’t able to take Mia tomorrow. Maybe the weekend after, we can have our special alone time.” She won’t say she’s not disappointed, but she doesn’t want to inconvenience Haley, when she’s already being so great. She smiles softly, covers his hand with hers.

“That’s okay. It was short notice, anyway. I’ll still enjoy my weekend, with you and Mia.” He smiles too, but it doesn’t quite touch his eyes.

The kids sleep through the night, but she doesn’t. On Friday, she picks Jack up from school and takes him to Haley’s, who sends him to wash up so she can make him a snack. When he’s gone, she smiles warmly and invites her into the kitchen for coffee; she takes a cup, and they make pleasant small talk like they always do.

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring Mia over?” Haley asks after a few minutes. It sounds like she’s double checking. “It’s really no trouble.” She frowns, sets her cup down.

“I thought you weren’t able to watch Mia this weekend. I thought… I thought that’s what Aaron said. I must have misunderstood him.” That’s the only logical conclusion, because Aaron wouldn’t lie to her. He wouldn’t.

“He was being a little weird on the phone the other day. He asked me if I would watch her, and I said yes. He told me about your plans,” she says with raised eyebrows, “and then I told him, you know. That he better treat you right, because you just had a baby not that long ago and you might be a little self-conscious about jumping back into the sack like that; not that you should be, because you look amazing.” She racks her brain for the first time he started acting strangely, pulling away from her, and it would have been after his conversation with Haley. She asks, just to confirm.

“Is that when he got weird?”

“Actually yeah. He changed his mind, said you might not need me to watch her after all, but I told him the offer stood. He was pretty quick to get off the phone after that.” She would sip her coffee, but she’s pretty sure her hands are shaking. Why would he lie about that?

“You know, I should go. I’m sure Aaron’s pulling his hair out with her, she’s been a devil today. Tell Jack I love him and I’ll talk to him tonight, will you?”

“Of course. If you change your mind about Mia, just let me know,” Haley says, and she gets into her car with tears stinging her eyes.

When she gets home, Aaron is playing with Mia on the living room floor. He looks up at her with a smile that abruptly falls when he takes in her facial expression.

“What’s wrong?” She composes herself, takes a deep breath. They vowed a long time ago not to argue in front of Jack or Mia. She tries to sound conversational.

“You lied to me. You said Haley couldn’t take Mia this weekend.” He swallows and looks properly guilty. She’s not sure how he was able to lie to her in the first place; he’s never been any good at it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I just didn’t know how to say it.” She looks up, shakes her head, wills her eyes not to water while she’s trying to have this conversation.

“You didn’t know how to say what? What is it that’s made you distance yourself from me?” She recalls him physically pulling away, then doing a complete 180 and initiating sex, but never penetrative sex, never letting her touch him or return the favor in any way. “Haley told me about your conversation. So do you think I’m unhappy with my body, or are you unhappy with my body?” He has the nerve to look confused, gets Mia set up with some toys she can play with safely on her own and stands up, comes close to her. She’s not sure she even wants his touch right now, which is saying something; when she’s unhappy, that’s usually all she wants.

“Neither of those things. I swear to god. I love you and I love your body; you’re so beautiful. Too beautiful for me, you always have been.” He’s looking down at her so seriously, and she wants so badly to believe him, but how could she, when faced with the evidence?

“Okay. If it’s neither of those things…” Her voice is small when she says the one option that hurts her most. “Did you change your mind? Do you not want to have another baby with me?” He sighs, deflates, and she takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“No, listen to me. It’s not that I don’t want that; I want that more than anything, but it will… further complicate, things...” He trails off, and she tries to follow what he’s saying. “The problem isn’t you in any way. It’s me.” She huffs, squeezes her eyes briefly shut.

“You? How can it be you, when you’ve been the only man to catch my eye for years? From the moment you set foot on my campus looking for your bad guy, I’ve been attracted to you, aroused by you, wrapped around your finger. You’re so perfect for me: perfect husband, perfect dad, perfect lover. My best friend. Never a day has gone by where I haven’t wanted you.” He wets his lips, sighs.

“Surely you’ve noticed that since I quit my job and started staying home with Mia, I… I don’t look the same. I’ve… let myself go.” His brows are deeply furrowed, and he’s clearly struggling with this; she reaches for him, no longer angry—at least for the time being—puts a hand on his arm.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t quite look the same. Doesn’t mean you’ve ‘let yourself go,’ or that I’m not still attracted to you; you just have a dad bod now instead of an ‘FBI guy who punches people for a living’ bod.” Her other hand hovers, then comes to rest on his stomach, and she smiles. “I’m actually really into the way you look now. I’ve been fantasizing about it for ages. I wish I’d known you were feeling self-conscious.”

“I’m not used to feeling… self-conscious, vulnerable,” he breathes, but he presses into her touch, so she considers that a good thing. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“I get that baby, I do, but this is me. I would have done anything I could to make you feel better. You didn’t have to hide it from me. You didn’t have to lie. We could have talked about it.” She moves the hand on his arm to his face, guides him down for a loving kiss. “We’re equally to blame, because I know you haven’t been getting good sleep, and I know you barely have time for yourself, and I didn’t step in; but you never let me help. If roles were reversed, and it was me staying home with Mia, you would never expect me to do all the cooking and cleaning and homework and bath time without your help. So you need to let me help, Aaron, please.” She looks up at him, eyes warm and sincere, and he nods, bends to press a kiss to her lips.

“I’m sorry. I still don’t feel great about… myself, but maybe I could. If I let you help. If I took some time for me.” She nods and wraps her arms around him—finally—for a hug.

“I love you so much. Just like this. Big, cuddly papa bear, taking care of our babies, making our home a safe and happy place for them. How could I not love the body that brings me so much happiness? That makes me excited to get in my car and come home at the end of every day?”

They kiss some more, deep, healing kisses and soft, sweet kisses, but she doesn’t get distracted by them. She’s very focused, caresses him and brushes loving fingertips over his chest and arms and sides. But speaking of distractions…

“Were you doing all those sexy things to try to distract me from wanting you to get all up on me?” she asks, pulling back, and at least he has the decency to flush.

“Kind of? I figured if it was sex you wanted, you’d be happy to get off however it happened; it was great for me too, don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t really want to be touched, feeling the way I felt.” She frowns, rests her head against his chest and holds him tighter.

“That makes me sad. What I wanted was an intimate moment with my husband, and while yes, what you did for me was great, because you’re super hot and very capable,” she says, leaning back in his embrace with a soft smile, “it’s not what I’ve been wanting. I want you all naked and sweaty and heavy on top of me, going to pound town.” He presses his lips together and raises his eyebrows.

“Pound town? What are you, twelve?” She grins, shoves his chest, and he laughs.

“I’m surrounded by college kids all day, please forgive me. I think it got my message across though.” She touches his cheek, looks up into his eyes, and sighs. “Can we take Mia over to Haley’s and give it a shot? I’ll do anything to make you feel happy and comfortable, any position that makes you feel better—though what I’d really like most, if you’ll trust me, is to suck your dick, and then hop on your dick, and then later when we’re ready to go again, we do the pound town thing and make another goddamn baby.”

She’s so serious, and he looks so serious, and then he kisses her and says yes and they pack up their kid and take her to his ex-wife’s so they can get it on, which sounds so much crazier than it actually is. She gets him out of his clothes, doesn’t move slow or spend lots of time focusing on what he thinks are flaws; instead, she proves how desirable he is by practically tearing his pants off and pushing him against the bed and swallowing around his dick just so she can hear all those delicious moans she’s been missing.

After that, she rides him hard, kisses him harder, plants her hands on his chest and stomach and moans and groans against his mouth. “So fucking hot, seriously so fucking hot, Aaron—if I saw you across the room today I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing, I would still pursue you, I’d make you blush like I did back then. I’d be so forward because I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about how good this would feel.”

She’s rocking his world, no doubt about that; it’s written all over his face, in the hardness of his hands on her hips as she grinds down on his cock, in the way his chest is heaving despite not actually doing any of the work at all. He comes first, and then rubs her clit while she continues to fuck him until she finds her own orgasm; she scratches her nails down his stomach, and he leans up and grabs her face for a rough, perfect kiss.

They take a break, cuddling and kissing and enjoying the feel of bare skin, comfy bed, soft lips. Aaron touches her cheek, tells her how much he loves and appreciates her.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been keeping this inside, and not being truthful. It’s hard, when you’re as perfect as the day I met you, and I’m…” She presses a finger to his lips, shushes him, kisses him.

“You’re as perfect as the day I met you, too. More perfect, even, because every day since then you’ve chosen me, and our family. I could not ask for a better man. Simply could not, Aaron. And if you want me to come home early so you can go to the park to run, or to the gym, then that’s what I'll do, but if you look like you do right now, forever, I’ll be happy with that too. Whatever makes you happy.”

They snuggle and kiss and talk and laugh, and then laughing becomes sex in that way everything becomes sex when you’re genuinely obsessed with the person in your bed.

He gets her on her back, kisses all over, teases her—“mmm, rubbing your kitty, baby, how does it feel?”—and then puts her legs over his shoulders, plants his hands, and fucks, taking every ounce of his pent-up frustration out on her, and it’s incredible.

“Yes, Aaron, yes, baby, oh, god.” Her head is thrown back, and she’s torn between laughing, because she’s been wanting this for months and it’s exactly as awesome as she’d dreamed it would be, and crying, because she fucking loves him, so much it puts a lump in her throat.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, speeds up, sweaty and gorgeous and smiling. “You’re going to come with me—not just for me, but with me, so my come gets deep inside, so it works and we get another perfect baby who never lets us fucking sleep.” She nods frantically, presses her hips against his, and it’s not simultaneous, but it’s a near damn thing, when they both come groaning each other’s names. A little less than a year later, they have Mason. Aaron is at home in his dad bod, Mia doesn’t cry at naptime, Jack is still a menace in the mornings, and their perfect little family got a little more perfect. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #dad bod hotch

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ggukkiereads · 3 years

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Hi 💓

It is the month of Ramadan and I want to avoid reading any smutty/steamy fics for the month. Which is why I was wondering if you have any Jungkook or Taehyung non smut fic recs? It can be fluff or anything just no explicit sex scenes. Thank you for your recommendations you are literally my favorite page on this platform 💜✨

🌷 Hello @dhabatae101. First, I wish you and other followers a happy, safe, and blessed Ramadan. Ramadan Mubarak! ✨

I decided to answer this right away so I tried compiling my reblogs (plus those fics I haven’t reviewed yet) and authors that “specialize” in fluff/angst. However, the list went on and on 🤭. So, I will split this post into two:

Part 1: authors that have more SFW content in their catalog (you are here)

Part 2: non-smut fics (my reblogs + other recs) - Taehyung | Jungkook

(Fluff/Angst) Smut-less Fics | Taehyung & Jungkook

🌷 Part 1 (Recommended Authors)

@jimlingss - Kina’s masterlist is just a dream. No two stories are the same and every fic is just memorable. A truly prolific and consistent writer. Usually witty, fluffy, and charming but the angsty fics are also deadly. I posted my fave JJK and KTH fics - the Worshipers Series can be read independently but better if read sequentially to better understand the “universe”. The Slice of Life Series is also a must, but you can read the KTH and JJK fics on their own but I seriously love ALL 💖.

Worshipers of the Sky - KTH | series [3/3] | 35k | God AU, Goddess!OC, Sacrifice!Taehyung, Worshipers Series | F, some A

Worshipers of the Sea - JJK | one shot | 16.3k | Pirate AU, Mermaid AU, God AU, Worshipers Series | F, A

President’s Son - KTH | series [20/20] | 80k | Bodyguard AU (reader), Slice of Life Sereis, Slow Burn | F

Sugar and Coffee - JJK | series [23/23] 101k | Patisserie School AU, Best Friend AU, Enemies to Lovers (slight), Slice of Life Series | F

Love So Shallow - KTH | series [3/3] | 34.8k | College AU, eventual Roommate AU, Best Friend AU, Humor | F, slight A ⭐ #holygrailfic

Black Waltz - KTH | two shot | Butler AU, Historical AU | F, A (ah I love Taehyung’s characterization here)

Moirai - KTH | series [8/8] | 46.9k | isekai au, fantasy au, reborn as a villain in a video game | F, A

Rent a Boyfriend - KTH | I noticed this is a crowd favorite, it might end up yours too =)

A Fairy Crime - KTH | one shot | Fairy godmother OC to grant someone a happy ever after | F, A, crack

Date in a Box - JJK | one shot | 9.7k | Date Planner (like wedding planner but make it a service for dating) | F, F, F

His Name - JJK | series [8/8] | 52.4k | Multiple Personality AU, based on Kill Me, Heal Me (this is one of my favorite Korean drama series so I really enjoyed this fic series too) | A

A Piece of Moonlight - JJK | one shot | 22k | Warrior AU, Mulan AU | really angsty though

*didn’t include Chess of Ice (since this is in the Jungkook Jock AU list)

@inktae - If you’ve been following me I always rave about this author. Mostly her work is of fantasy genre but has a slice of life tone. Her fics are just masterpieces - just beautifully written and viscerally gripping. They remind me of Ghibli films for some reason (like the tone). You can check their fics here (just avoid those with M, usually with sexual content but honestly it’s not explicit). I love everything but if you want to start somewhere, you can try:

Blue Orchids, Moonlight, Home After Rain - JJK Soulmate AU, Hanahaki AU, Angst ⭐ #holygrailfic

First Light - KTH x R x JJK | raved about it here (angst)

Away From the Sun - KTH | soulmate AU

The train of lost souls - JJK, feat JHS | fantasy AU | A

The swirling Ways of Stars - JJK, fantasy | A, F

@gukyi - for your enemies to lovers needs. This is one of my favorite tropes so I just love that there is a writer that ‘specializes” in this. Please check their masterlist and take note of fics with (smut). Try:

Four Weeks - KTH, College AU, stuck in campus for four weeks during Christmas

Good Luck Charm - KTH, roommates, actor AU

Moonlight Melody + Part 2 - JJK, fake dating, orchestra AU | F, A

Coffee Shop Contract - JJK, fake dating, college AU | F

If I Told You - JJK, college, unrequited love/pining | F, A

Midas - JJK, magical realism | F, A

Love Project - JJK, comedy, photography assignment | F

@koorara - ugh I just adore their writing. Tooth-rotting fluff seems effortless with her drabbles/short stories. You can check their fics here. My faves:

Driving Me Wild - JJK, demon au, roommate au, ongoing drabble series but you can read it (not cliffhanger-ish), soulmate au | my review��(tooth-rotting fluff)

His Dandelion - KTH, someone sent an ask about this you can read the description | A

Down and Down - JJK | MMA fighter, slight making out | A, F

The Pitter Patter of the Heart - skip the drabble with mature content, husband au, lecturer jungkook, this is super cuuuute | tooth-rotting fluff

@suhdays - it’s just amazing to find a writer with a non-smut catalog. Writing is just pure and focused on the plot and emotional/character development. Please give their masterlist lots of love. My faves:

Access Granted - I like hacker Jungkook. SMAU format

A Cinderella Story - JJK | also based on the movie | F, A

Wherever You Are - JJK | vampire, ceo (I love this) | A, F

Terms of Endearment - JJK | poet jjk x artist reader | F

Bucket List - JJK | friends to lovers (this is adorable! my review of this is still in the drafts like the rest of the fics 😥) | F, slight A

Camp Crush - KTH | brother’s best friend (this is funny like I was just smiling all throughout)

Made of Honor - KTH | SMAU, recently completed! Like the movie

Baby I’m a Fool - JJK | Fake Dating, Co-worker AU, E2L | F, A

@vanaera - her Yoongi coworker E2L series is something I’m always waiting for and I don’t think her other fics contain smut. Please check The Prince and His Rose (bestfriend AU, College AU, childhood friends, football player x writer!reader Jungkook, fluff/angst)

@namjoonchronicles - so I recently binged on this author’s writing (still bingeing on her other members’ fics). Their catalog has a lot of Domestic AUs which are beautiful slice of life pieces. It could be as simple as folding the laundry but it would be so meaningful. I said in one of my reviews that their domestic fics has same vibes as illustrator Puung’s Love is in Small Things. I would like to post my favorites here but I think I recently just reviewed/reblogged tons of their work (you can search my blog for the reviews). Please check their masterlist. Granite Glow is my ⭐ #holygrailfic

@rosaetae - if you like angst that hurts but it all makes sense why the situation had to be angsty, then her masterlist is something to binge on. Not all are angsty, just mind the tags for pure “fluff”. My favorites:

The Bedtime Contract - KTH, roommates, enemies to lovers, sort of cuddle buddy?, fluff but there’s slight angst | F, A

Dream a Little Dream of Me - KTH, soulmate au, could hear soulmate’s voice, waitress x songwriter |

Lavender + Vanilla - KTH, a story about a boy who had forgotten his memory of you

Chrysanthemum Effect - KTH (JJK has a side story too), Hanahaki AU

Among the Evergreen - JJK, Christmas AU, E2L | F

Sweet Apple Biscuits - JJK, receives letter from their future self asking to save one boy ⭐ | A, slight F

Best Thing He Never Had 01 02 03 04 05 06 - JJK, bestfriends to lovers | A, F

Better Late Than Never - JJK drabble, exes AU, fake dating (I love this scenario, there’s one funny moment here with Jungkook saying his feelings through a door) | A, F

@justimajin - another favorite of mine - her fics actually try different genres/scenarios and are usually series. I find it fun to wait on episodes weekly. A consistent writer too. See masterlist here. Selected works:

Catching a Case of Doctor Blues - KTH, medical AU, enemies to lovers, slice of life

Swapped - JJK, body swap, really fluffy! I reviewed it before and screamed at how fluffy this is 😍 | tooth-rotting fluff

A Lone Wolf’s Howl - JJK, werewolf AU, sort of enemies/rivals, hunter AU, bestfriend. Note: there is a chapter with smut, you can skip that portion | A, F, S

@bubmyg - oh wow her works are just tooth-rotting fluffy goodness too (especially the Yoongi drabbles/one shots). But please check her fics for Tae and Koo. My picks:

Can’t Fake a Feeling - KTH, F2L, Fake Dating, College AU, Fuckboy (not smut)

Extra Cheese Sauce, Please - KTH, F2L, College, friends keep setting them up

Strawberry Boy - JJK, I just reblogged this weeks ago so you probably have read this | tooth-rotting fluff

Wonder - pool boy!jungkook x journalist!reader | F

Not a Date - JJK | one shot + drabble series, kinda E2L. cute | tooth-rotting fluff

Dare to Begin - JJK | college au, idiots to lovers, broke college students | tooth-rotting fluff

gcfguk + idcilh - a youtuber!jeongguk drabble series | F

you can check their masterlist for the other drabbles and fics I haven’t read/included

@cupofteaguk - a writer whose fics end up in my fic rec lists regularly. When I get asked about certain tropes, I always remember one or two of her fics. Their Reputation Series is binge-worthy but they also have plenty of scenarios/tropes to choose from. You can find a lot of KTH or JJK fluff-based fics here (or other members too):

the maze to you - KTH | soulmate au | angst

along the boardwalk - KTH | skater boy/college au | fluff

it’s all fun & games - JJK | fake dating au | fluff

say you won’t let go - JJK | soulmate au | fluff

on the road (to you) - JJK | road trip/strangers to lovers au | fluff

new romantics - JJK | hogwarts au, quidditch player, enemies to lovers | F, A

@crystaljins - another writer with fics that have well-developed plot, great angst and great endings. I recommend all (check other members’ fics here). Extra love for:

Schemes and Tricks to Win Her Heart - KTH | series [5/5] | 22.5k | Fake Dating, feat Chaebol/Rich Seokjin, Taehyung is Jin’s Little Brother, and OC is Tae’s bestfriend

I haven’t read the new Taehyung Christmas fic yet but give it a spin =)

@springbean - I love her story concepts and ideas! When I discovered her, I just binged on their work and I enjoy every new fic she releases. My personal favorites are listed below, but you can also check her masterlist here:

Onyx - JJK | cyberpunk AU, abo dynamics (it is sooo interesting to use abo dynamics this way. Usually abo is associated with werewolf aus but this is like a social classification system in this fic. It is still ongoing but it’s the type of story you can read and remember easily so in case it gets updated you can jump into the next chapter) ongoing | A, F

Wolfsbane - KTH | Werewolf AU, college, soulmates (included in my KTH werewolf fic recs)

Cursed - JJK | Prince x Mage/Witch, Fantasy, Medieval, E2L, action (basically has all AUs I like) ongoing

Enshrined - JJK | this is new! fantasy, fae world, isekai, childhood friends, eventual smut (?) but since we’re not there yet you can still read it smut-less ongoing

@army-author - another prolific writer with a catalog you can binge on. I recently reblogged/reviewed some of my favorites but believe me there are more (I am just lazy with reviewing and such). Personal faves:

Gamomania - JJK | childhood friends | tooth-rotting fluff, slight S

X and O - KTH | fake dating, single parent, teacher AU

A Monster Crush - KTH | childhood friends, angst, fluff, horror, implied S ongoing

All This Stigma - KTH | fwb au, unplanned pregnancy, arranged marriage, divorce, really angsty but I love it!

The Village Idiots - JJK | soulmate au, childhood friends, they’re soulmate-less (or are they?) | tooth-rotting fluff

The Alchemy of Amor - JJK | fantasy au, royalty au, enemies to lovers (new) | F

Fire and Ice - JJK | oh this is probably the first I’ve read from the author, E2L but make it fluffy rivals (he’s fire and she can yield ice), fantasy au, magic | F

Black and White Christmas - JJK | Office AU | F

@thedefinitionofbts - I love how emotionally invested I get when reading their fics. Most of their fics are smut-less but deeply rooted in emotions so I remember the story a lot even if I’ve read some years or months ago (I said in my werewolf fic rec list that there’s this Jungkook fic of theirs that’s really sad and I still imagine him waiting for OC.) Just powerful storytelling. You can check their masterlist and mind the fics with smut. I wanted to list my favorites here but I’ll end up listing everything. If you want to start a fic, I recommend:

A Story that We Paint - KTH x R x JJK | Sci-fi, College AU, Lucid Dreams AU | A, slight F

Our First and Last - JJK, VMIN | Soulmate AU, Sci-Fi | A, F

Kingdom of Crystal Snow - KTH | Christmas, Royalty (yay something purely fluffy)

Corner of the Universe - KTH | Reincarnation AU

other fics I like have S content or too sad

@threeletterslife - I love her fics because they make me dwell and ponder on things but themes are very heavy (I think she has one crack fic though). No smut and you can try all her works if you are in the mood for angst, some pondering, etc. Masterlist here. You can read the Love Chaser Series (though you have to read the Yoongi series first before reading Jungkook’s, it’s one universe).

Whipped with a Cherry on Top - KTH | friends to lovers, crack

The Time Traveler’s Playbook - KTH | time travel AU | F, A

Cuss Out - JJK | High school AU, crack | F

@artaefact - just feel good scenarios and I love her drabbles! I’ve reblogged and oohed aahed over the drabbles that are short but powerful scenarios.

incandesce + warmth drabble - JJK (safe to say, you can read all their drabbles) | F

Aeturnal - KTH | fantasy au, royalty au (I loooove this. it has inexplicit S though, you can skip)

A Letter in Roses - KTH | husband au, valentine au

Calling You Mine - JJK | College AU, S2L, tooth-rotting fluff

@augustbutwinter - a writer to watch out for. August delivers so much even with minimal word count; they can get you emotional (fluffy or angsty) and it is so easy to visualize the image she is trying to describe. Just wonderful. The words just flow easily too so the fics are not difficult to read/imagine. I recommend the ff:

My Tears Ricochet - KTH | ghost AU, roommate AU, fluff (sometimes angsty), drabble series ⭐⭐

Rose Coloured - JJK | post college AU, some sort of reunion with an old flame | F

@akinnie75 - What a wonderful storyteller. I would binge on her fics for their plot/storylines. Usually it feels as if you are reading a tale. Several of their fics ended up in my #holygrailfics (the namjoon and jimin ones). You can try:

Ghost Marriage - JJK | fantasy, idol au, kind of arranged marriage | A, F

Until Spring 1 | 2 - JJK | Romance, Fantasy, visited the Freesia Island for Spring but taken for Arranged Marriage instead | A, F

Moonchild - KTH | a tale about the legendary Moonchild, a mythical creature known for its ability to heal life of all sorts

🌷ggukkienote:

I’d also like to recommend checking the fics in each of the reading lists and Fic Recs by theme. You’ll find these lists in the NAVI page. Fics/Titles included per list are usually tagged for A/S/F content.

I will update this once I remember other authors that focus on A/F

Part 2 (Fic Recs) - linked top of this post

#jungkook fanfic #taehyung fanfic #jungkook fic recs #taehyung fic recs #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #taehyung fluff #jungkook fluff #ggukkiereadingcollection #asks #dhabatae101 #bts fluffy fic recs #bts angst fic recs #bts x reader

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tojikai · 2 years

Note

First: I appreciate the effort you're putting into your updates--thank you for the amazing content! Don't hesitate to put your needs and wants first, though; never be ashamed to prioritize your happiness.

Now, I'm really loving Permanent Mark! At first, I was just in it for the angst but I'm so attached to Y/N because of her reaction to Satoru's outburst. It hurts so much when someone you respected and trusted suddenly goes off like that. Not only does it feel like you've lost them (even more so in the case of Y/N's breakup with Satoru) but you have to wonder when the loss happened, too. Like: did they always have a little nugget of dislike towards you? You're wounded at the immediate attack, but the bite echoes and you think about everything that's ever happened between you and the other person. Now all of it hurts.

And if that person means a lot to you, or they were a big piece of your everyday life, you keep getting stung by that one moment since all roads lead to them thought-wise. It is like bleeding out. And since it's "hurt" and not "hate," you can't just hurl it all at another person. Instead, the longing for the other party, regret over whatever went wrong, and desire for a happy ending keep you mired in something that makes you feel bad.

Personally, my heartache is a familial thing, but Y/N is in the same seat as me so it's great and wild to be reading this series as I receive therapy for my issues! I hope that Y/N can create/find a safe place for her heart. It's tough because it means finding a community AND making sure your mind/behavior is working for you.

oh wow i love this :o that explanation about how yn must've felt when gojo did that to her is so good omg. it's really heartbreaking when you put it like that, bc yn doesn't really have it in her to hate satoru, and she trusted him sm so, for him to react like that to her is just on another level of betrayal. And i'm happy that reading pm can bring you some type of comfort even if it's angsty. thank you so much for your kind words and the support !! I hope you're doing great <33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: permanent mark

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arofili · 3 years

Text

aI was tagged to do this fic writer game by @crownlessliestheking and @tol-himling! thanks!

how many works do you have on AO3?

366!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

1,235,059 woahhh :0

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

25 - my top 5 are the Silm (243 fics), the Hobbit (54 fics), LOTR (34), Les Mis (16), and TAZ (11), with Lockwood & Co at sixth with 7 fics.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Love and Fear” (290 kudos) - Gigolas oneshot for TRSB19

“Half-brother, half-hatred” (274 kudos) - Feanor & Fingolfin fluff

“Free from the ties that bind” (264) - a goddamn Fast and Furious oneshot I wrote for my irl friends jdhfkdjh

Wedding Blues (215) - aro Kel + Dom fic from the Tortall universe, still quite proud of this one!

“Eru’s Last Grace” (also 215) - Elros visits Maedhros in Mandos before he leaves to accept the Gift of Men

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes absolutely!!! I may take some time to get around to them, but it’s very important to me to respond to comments! commenting fosters community in fan spaces and I want to show my gratitude to the people who are kind enough to engage with me <3

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

it took me awhile to pick one, because I really don’t write angsty endings all that often? I love some good angst, but I need comfort with my hurt. that being said, there are a couple, and I think of all of them the angstiest is probably “out of reach,” a Kidnap Dads fic set right after the Kinslaying where Maglor watches Maedhros absolutely fall apart. though there’s a couple other good candidates, too.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

on occasion! I don’t really count intra-Legendarium crossovers as “crossovers,” though (and neither does AO3 if you sort by only crossovers, apparently!). the ~craziest~ is probably that MarioKart/Hunger Games crossover fic I wrote for a friend as a joke. it is very old and I will not be linking it, lmao.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, every now and again. usually it’s someone being upset that I’m not as much of a Feanorian apologist as them?? which is wild bc I am definitely a Feanorian apologist, lmao. MayaMarkova my nemesis </3

do you write smut? if so what kind?

yep! mostly lovey-dovey Russingon stuff, but I’ll branch out into other ships now and then. and I love writing trans smut <3

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, twice! one was this Bilbo Dies AU and the other was this Findrahil piece; both were translated into Russian. and I think I’ve gotten requests for translations into Chinese of some of my Russingon fics, but either they’re hosted off-site or they haven’t been finished yet, because I don’t see them linked in AO3.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

a couple times, and almost always with my bff @buffintruder <3

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean - Russingon!

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

uhhh probably something saved in the bowels of my Google Drive that has never seen the light of day. I try really hard not to post things I don’t intend on finishing. but right now I guess I’m most worried about not following through on Roads Go On and Moonlight, just because I’ve shifted focus to the Silm and it’s harder to get inspiration to write for LOTR and the Hobbit!

what are your writing strengths?

I definitely feel confident writing dialogue and emotion!

what are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes are difficult, I just don’t know what to say!! and I can get so caught up in the ~feelings~ of it all that I forget to describe anything else...

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

ok wow so I DO have opinions on this. if the character is shifting into another language, I’ll sometimes put the dialogue into italics (aka, if a native Quenya speaker switches to Sindarin for a few sentences, or just a word or two, the Sindarin will be in italics). other times I’ll just mention the language change in the dialogue tag. BUT if I’m writing a native Quenya speaker who uses a word in Quenya, that will NOT be italicized, because for the character the language has not changed. so like, I wouldn’t write, “Thank you, vanimelda,” because it’s implied that the “thank you” was also in Quenya, and I as the writer was just ~translating~ it to English for the reader’s benefit. It would be “Thank you, vanimelda.” The Quenya word would just be “untranslated.”

BUT if the character was speaking English and then called someone a nickname in Quenya, i.e. in a Maglor-in-the-modern-day story, then I WOULD italicize it. “Thank you, mellon.” - because mellon is a shift out of the “base” language. does that make any sense???

it’s also a matter of aesthetics, tbh.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

..........warrior cats. do NOT ask me how many words of warrior cats fic I’ve written.

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I like a lot of my fics, but my favorite is probably the Russingon Fake Dating AU (Finno’s POV is still in the works!!), although I’m also very fond of Revelations in my modern AU series.

I tag @buffintruder @thatfeanorian @arrivisting @admirablemonster @elesianne and @naryaflame ! (no pressure ofc!)

#tmi anna #writing updates #tag games #crownlessliestheking #user tol himling

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thetravelerwrites · 5 years

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Geyarajan (Gandharva)

Rating: Teen Relationship: Female Human/Male Gandharva Additional Tags: Exophilia, Gandharva, Childhood Sweethearts, Puppy Love Content Warnings: Blood, Broken Limb, Separation, Memory lapse Words: 4600

A commission for @floral-and-fine, who did the lovely artwork above of Geyarajan! An angsty story about childhood love that gets torn apart by family, race, and circumstance! Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

In Hinduism, the Gandharvas are male nature spirits and husbands of the Apsaras, the spirits of clouds and air. Some are part animal, usually a bird or horse. They have superb musical skills; they guard the Soma and make beautiful music for the gods in their palaces. Gandharvas are frequently depicted as singers in the court of the gods.

Gandharvas in the historic sense acted as messengers between the gods and humans; today they are depicted as imitators, cheaters, liars and those who have tricked themselves 'into being god'. In Hindu law, a gandharva marriage is one contracted by mutual consent and without formal rituals.

You couldn’t remember exactly how old you were, perhaps six or seven, when you first met Geyarajan. You’d heard singing in the forest as you played in the garden behind your house, and though you knew you shouldn’t go into the woods alone, you couldn’t ignore the draw of the sound. After maybe ten minutes, you stumbled upon a clearing wherein a boy was singing, though he was unlike any other child you’d ever met.

Your village was human only; beasts and monsters were not allowed to settle there. In fact, non-human merchants were discouraged from selling their wares in the area and non-human travelers weren’t welcome in the taverns or inns. In your short life, you’d only seen a person who wasn’t human maybe twice, and only in passing. You didn’t quite understand why, but you were a small child and didn’t think to question it.

Not until you met Geyarajan. When you first saw him, you were mesmerized by his music. You sat and listened as still as a statue, afraid of spooking him, except when he stopped singing, he looked right at you and smiled as if he’d been waiting for you to come. He hopped off the rock where he had been sitting, and you got a better look at him.

He wore no clothing, but from the waist down, he was all feathers. His legs were long and spindly, ending in three-toed claws like that of a purple heron. The feathers extended up his back to his large wings, heather-grey in color, which were folded at rest behind him.

His hair was long and falling around his shoulders in ringlets, the same heather-gray as his feathers. He had a four streaks of black, two on each side, running down his neck, one stripe down his arms to his wrists, the other down the inside of his shoulders and disappearing into the feathers near his hips. His skin was dark brown and his eyes were sharp in shape, amber-gold in color, and hawk-like.

Though he was much taller than you because of his long legs, in his face, he looked to be about your age, perhaps slightly older. He was slender and graceful in his movements, taking careful steps toward you as if not to scare you, though you didn’t think you could possibly be afraid of him.

“Aren’t you from the village?” He asked, his speaking voice as musical as his song suggested. “Won’t you be in trouble for coming into the woods? My parents say that humans are scared of the woods.”

“I’m not scared,” You said, puffing up. “Papa says I’m a big girl. I can go to the corner store all by myself now. I only came ‘cause I heard you singing.”

“Oh,” He said, frowning. “I must be too close, then. I should go.”

“Wait!” You reached out, grabbing his hand. “Stay and play with me, won’t you? What’s your name?”

“Geyarajan,” He replied, not attempting to break away from your grasp. “You’re the girl who lives in the house near the river, right? What’s your name?”

You told him. “How do you know me?”

“I’ve seen you sometimes,” He said, leading you to the rock where he was sitting before. There was a bushel of flowers laying there. He began to weave them into a ring. “When I fly above the town. I know you from the ribbons.” He tugged at the blue ribbon you wore in your hair, which matched your pristine dress. Your mother insisted on dressing you like a doll, always making you wear frilly dresses and putting ribbons in your hair.

“You can fly?” You whispered in awe.

“Well, sure,” He laughed, fluffing his wings a little. “These aren’t fake, you know. I have to fly pretty high, so the only thing I can see of you clearly is the ribbons.”

“Why do you fly so high?” You asked him.

“Mother says it’s too dangerous to fly too low over the town,” Geyarajan said. “She says the people don’t like us, that they’d be mean to us if they knew we lived in the forest next to them.”

“Oh. That’s a shame. If it’s dangerous, why don’t you move?”

“Our kind lived in these woods before those humans ever settled here,” He said, pointing toward the village. “Why should we have to leave?”

“That makes sense, I guess,” You admitted. “I don’t see people like you in town. It’s only humans. I don’t know why.”

“Mother and Father say it’s because humans hate us,” He said morosely, looking at his hands as he continued to weave the garland. “Do you hate us?”

“No!” You said. “You’re so pretty! Can I… Can I touch your wings? I’ve never met a person with wings before.”

He regarded you warily, but said, “Okay, but only for a minute. Mother says our wings are a sign of divinity, that they make us holy.”

“Divine? Like an angel?”

“What’s an angel?”

You tried to explain what an angel was to him, but he just looked confused.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Do you want to touch my wings or not?” He asked impatiently.

“Yes, yes!” You exclaimed. You reached out tentatively and ran your fingertips gently down his proffered wing. He watched you carefully, his hands stilling in their work.

“Wow,” You breathed. “It’s so hard to believe they’re real.”

“Well, they are,” He sniffed, eyeing you. “It’s weird.”

“What is?”

“Well, I’ve never met a human, but my parents said they’re all cruel and heartless. They call your kind monsters, but you seem nice.”

“I am nice,” You replied. “I’m friends with everyone in town. I want to be your friend, too. Can I call you Rajan?”

“Why?”

“It’s a nickname!” You said. “It means we’re friends.”

“Oh,” He replied. “Yeah, I guess so. Can I give you a nickname?”

“Sure!”

“Alright, how about…” He looked around for inspiration and his eyes fell on the flowers in his lap. There were wild daisies, coneflowers, purple poppies, blanket flowers, black-eyed susans, and blush-pink primroses. “What about Primrose?”

“I love it!” You said excitedly. “Primrose and Rajan.”

Rajan giggled.

“What’s funny?”

“Well, my whole name, Geyarajan, means ‘king of songs,’” He replied, finishing the crown of flowers and placing it on his head. “But Rajan just means ‘king.’”

You giggled too. “I like that! You can be the king of the primroses! It’ll be a kingdom just for us!”

“Sounds fun!” He said. “Let’s play Kings and Flowers, then!”

“That’s not a real game!”

“Is too! I just made it up!”

The two of you played until it started to get dark, then Rajan escorted you home. He stopped about thirty feet away from the treeline, where you could hear your mother calling.

“I can’t go closer,” He said, still wearing the flower crown. He took it off and placed it on your head. “You should run home now. I’ll watch you to make sure you stay safe.”

“Alright,” You said brightly, standing on your tip-toe to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you again soon!”

He blushed and touched his cheek, frozen. You laughed joyfully and ran back to the garden behind your house.

“There you are!” Your mother shouted as you came out from around the house. “Where have you been? Look at the state of your dress!” She fussed. “It’s ruined! Do you know how long it took me to sew that?”

“Just make me a normal dress, Mama,” You said. “A plain one I can play in.”

“Nonsense,” Your mother said, taking your hand. “I’ll not have my daughter wallowing in the muck like some street urchin. To the bath with you!”

As she dragged you along into the house, your lovely flower crown slipped from your head and floated away on the breeze.

“Oh, Mama, my crown!”

“Leave it,” She said.

“Oh, but it was--” You stopped short before saying a present. You didn’t want your mother asking from whom. You watched as it floated into the road and was trampled by a passerby. Sighing with disappointment, you followed your mother inside.

Geyarajan became your best friend from that day on. You had to be careful, though; you couldn’t go too deep into the forest for fear of dangerous creatures and he couldn’t get too close to the village, or he’d be seen and possibly captured by the townspeople. As such, you could only see each other once a week or so, and on the days you agreed to meet, often you’d sneak out to play for a few hours after bed.

Having a secret friend was thrilling. It made you feel special and important. He’d told you that he hadn’t told his parents about you, either, because he didn’t want them to be mad at him for getting so close to humans. It was as if the pretend kingdom the two of you built together was real, and you were the only two in it.

It didn’t take long at all for you to develop a crush on Geyarajan, and it seemed to be mutual. He always held your hand whenever the two of you walked together and you often gave him quick pecks on the lips to see the surprise and delight on his face. It was the pure, innocent love of childhood, and though your time together was limited, you were both happy.

Of course, secrets are never meant to last.

Time passed. One evening when you were eleven, after you’d snuck out to see him, the two of you were stargazing in a clearing, making up constellations, your fingers intertwined loosely.

“See there,” He said. “That’s the raven. It’s good luck.”

“Who says?” You asked, laughing.

“I say!” Rajan said. “I’m a king, aren’t I?”

“Oh, right,” You replied. “Papa calls that the eagle. And that’s the dog star.”

“Why do they call it the dog star?”

“I don’t know,” You said. “Tell me another one.”

He squinted. “I can’t see it all that well from here. I usually look at the stars from up in the trees. It’s harder to see them all clearly on the ground like this.”

“How high up do you go?”

“The top, obviously,” He said, sitting up and pointing straight up to a nearby oak tree. “The tallest, strongest branch. That’s the best place.”

“I’d be scared to go that high,” You said, shivering a little.

“I could help you,” He said. “I’d fly you up there.”

“Aren’t I too heavy?” You asked him skeptically. “I was the last time you tried to lift me.”

“That was a year ago! I’m much stronger now.” He hopped to his taloned feet and flexed his skinny arms. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

“Are you sure?” You asked as you took his hand.

“Come on, you trust me, right?”

You straightened up and smiled at him. “Yeah, of course I do.”

He grinned back. “I won’t be able to take off from the ground,” He said. “We’ll have to climb up a little ways so I can do a drop. I’m really good at those.”

You frowned at the thought, but since he knew way more about flying than you did, you didn’t argue. Swallowing down your nervousness, you followed him up the tree.

You hadn’t known how to climb a tree when you first met him; your mother had forbade such things. Geyarajan had decided immediately that it was inappropriate for anyone to be unable to climb a tree and taught you how to do it the second time you met. You got pretty scraped up the first few times, which you had a hard time explaining away. Now, you were an expert. You were even able to keep leaves and dirt off of your nightgown.

Of course, Geyarajan was much faster than you, since he’d been climbing trees before he could even walk. We was already on the branch he planned to launch from, waiting patiently for you to catch up. He wasn’t above heckling you, though.

“Are all humans as slow as you?” He teased. “I could be halfway to the coast by the time you get up here.”

You stopped for a moment to blow a raspberry at him. In the few seconds that you were distracted, you misstepped, your foot sliding out of your evening slipper and catching you off balance.

Geyarajan leapt, reaching out to catch you, but he was too late. You fell straight down, landing on your right leg. It snapped in half upon impact. The pain shot up your body and struck your brain, and you screamed like you never had before. Geyarajan landed next to you, panicking, trying to figure out what to do. You were crying too hard to speak.

“Hold on, Primrose, hold on,” He lifted you as carefully as he could and began to run through the woods. The pain and smell of blood made you violently sick. “I’m taking you home, just hold on.”

“No!” You managed to gasp. “You can’t go there!”

“I won’t be able to stay, but I can get you there, I promise,” He said.

“No!” You said, beginning to struggle, squealing as the movement made the pain worse. “They’ll kill you! You can’t go to the village!”

Geyarajan stopped in his tracks, breathing hard and looking toward the village and back into the forest.

“I’ll get into a lot of trouble, but there’s only one other place I can take you,” He said, sweating and shaking with fear. “Hold on to me. We’ll be there soon.”

What happened next was a blur of pain, color, noise, voices, and a terrible sick feeling throughout your body, the only familiar thing through all of it was the sound of Geyarajan’s voice and his hand holding yours. At some point, you blacked out completely.

You woke up to the sound of screaming. You were lying in the back garden of your own home, a large, grey feather in your hand, and your mother rushing over to you, checking you frantically.

“Oh, god, are you okay?!” She asked. “Where have you been? What happened to you?” She saw your leg and shrieked. “Who did this to you?!”

Her shouting had attracted the attention of several men, all of whom looked tired and held burned out torches. One of them dropped their spent torch and lifted you up, carrying you into the house. There was noise and shouting and confusion all around you, made worse by your mother’s constant shrill crying in the background. You let them do as they will in silence, clutching Geyarajan’s feather.

Your leg hurt, but nowhere as badly as it had before. You looked down and saw to your surprise that the leg had been wrapped set, wrapped in cloth to stem the bleeding, and was in a makeshift splint made of straight wooden rods and vines.

The physician was called and examined your leg. During this time, you learned you’d been missing for four days. The men with torches were part of the search party, tirelessly searching the woods for any trace of you. When they found blood on the grass and a fragment of your clothes, along with several large feathers, they thought some massive monster had gobbled you up.

The physician determined that your leg had been expertly set, however, meaning it was no monster that had taken you. Since you couldn’t remember most of your time missing, you kept silent, which made everyone grim-faced. They assumed the worst and decided someone had taken you and kept you in the woods somewhere, and you were so traumatized by the incident that you’d blocked the entire event out. You couldn’t exactly argue with them, but you knew Rajan would never hurt you. Not that you could tell them that.

The search began anew, only this time it wasn’t retrieval. It was revenge. You wished you could tell them that it wasn’t necessary, you wanted to stop them, but you couldn’t do anything without telling them about Rajan and his people, and you had promised never to do so. So you could only watch anxiously as the townsfolk worked themselves into a froth, looking for a predator that didn’t exist.

Bedridden and helpless to stop the villagers from their crusade, you spent many nights crying and wishing you could see Rajan. It was too dangerous now; you thought you wouldn’t see him for a long time. You were surprised when, a week later, Rajan came straight to your window late one night. He opened it and hopped down.

“Rajan!” You breathed, elated, and reached out your arms to embrace him from the bed. He stayed out of your reach. You couldn’t see his face well in this light, but his body radiated distrust.

“How could you?” He said whispered, pain seeping into his voice. “I thought you were my friend. How could you do this to me?”

You dropped your arms. “Wha… How could I what?”

“You know what!” He retorted angrily, his voice rising in anger. “You told them! You told the humans about us! You told them where to find us!”

“I didn’t!” You replied, stricken. “I would never, you know that! I never told them anything!”

“Liar!” He snapped. “Men came! They set fire to our colony! We have no home now because of you!”

You ignored the pain in your leg and swung around to sit up properly. “I didn’t tell them anything! I don’t even know where your colony is! I’ve never been there!”

“You’re lying! You were there! My parents cared for you, they fixed your leg! This is how you repay their kindness?”

“What?” You replied, confused. “I… no, I… I don’t… I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything. The last memory I have before waking up in the garden was you carrying me. We argued because I didn’t want you to come to the village. I was worried you’d get hurt--”

“Stop,” He said, raising a hand. “Enough of this. My parents were right. You can never trust a human.”

“Don’t say that! How could you have so little faith in me? We’ve been friends since we were little! I’d never do anything to put you or your family in danger, you know that! Why would I do that?”

The light from the moon caught his face, and the pain in his eyes stopped your heart.

“You tell me.”

He climbed up onto the windowsill, walked out on the roof, unfurled his wings, and took off. You fell to the ground with a loud thump. Your father came in to find you sobbing in anguish. He lifted you and put you back to bed, petting your hair and telling you it would be alright. But it wouldn’t.

You decided that once you were healed, you’d go and find Rajan and keep protesting your innocence until he believed you. You didn’t count on your parents’ plans.

Another week passed, and your mother came into your room.

“How are you feeling, love?” She asked.

You shrugged your shoulders. You’d been sullen and depressed since Rajan’s visit. Everyone assumed it was because of your disappearance and you made no attempt to correct them. The guilt of his family’s home being destroyed weighed heavily on your mind. If only you hadn’t tried to climb that tree.

“I’m sorry, darling,” She said. “I can’t believe monsters were living right next door to us in the woods. It’s become too dangerous in this place. Look at what they did to you!”

“They helped me!” You shouted. “They’re not monsters!”

Your mother rounded on you, her face pinching in suspicion. “How would you know that? What do you know about them?”

You scowled at her and remained silent.

“I knew you were lying when you said you couldn’t remember anything.” She stood up and looked down her nose at you. “That does it. We’re moving to Dunmountain.”

“What?!” You cried. “No! I don’t want to move!”

“The decision has already been made,” She told you, pulling out your luggage and starting to pack. “Your father and I can’t abide those disgusting creatures living so close.”

“But there are people like them in the city!” You argued.

“There are rules for them there,” Your mother said. “Most of them are ring fighters or laborers. They don’t practically nest in the backyards of decent people.”

“Who said you were decent?” You screamed. “You can’t make me go!”

“Who’s going to stop me?” She shouted back. “Your father has agreed. We’re going!” She threw your bag on the floor next to your bed. “Pack your things yourself!” With that, she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her and leaving you to weep bitterly into your blanket.

You had no choice. Within the month, you were all packed and in a wagon headed to the city. You had become withdrawn and quiet, unlike the girl you had been before. Your father worried over you, but your mother told you to suck it up and get over it. New city, new life, new start.

She was more right than she knew. In the city, you were a new person. The cheerful child that was friends with everyone she met was gone. You were shy, introverted, and taciturn, only speaking when spoken to. You found it difficult to make friends and were quick to tears.

Your mother, in an effort to desensitize you to “monsters,” took you to the gladiator’s ring and made you watch them fight each other. You hated it; the sight of them viciously attacking each other for no other purpose than to entertain humans made you physically ill.

As you got older, the people of your neighborhood began to call you the monster girl because of your tendency to go to the ring and talk to the fighters. Just talk. Some of them were willing participants, but there were others who were forced to fight. People with debt, criminals, the homeless, the mentally ill; anyone society deemed abnormal. Their jailers seemed to forget that they were still people.

You’d often sit outside of their cells and talk to them, comfort them, even write down messages to give to their loved ones. Your mother despaired of you, and the humans thought you were weird, but the creatures of the fighting ring called you an angel.

One day, when you were nineteen, there was a new arrival at the jail, a young woman with wings and bird feet. When you were told, you immediately went to see her first.

“Hello?” You called softly, tapping gently on one of the bars.

“Who are you?” She asked.

You told her your name. “I come here to talk to the fighters and help them when I can. What’s your name?”

“Aashiyana,” She replied. “You can help me?”

“I can try,” You replied. “Why are you here?”

“I caught a deer in a field near my home,” She said. “It was apparently owned by a nobleman or something. What kind of person owns a deer?”

“People with too much money,” You replied, laughing. “How long is your sentence?”

“Until my fine is up. Six months, I think they said.”

“How much is the fine?”

“300 gold.”

“That’s highway robbery!” You exclaimed. “Let me see what I can work out.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” She said. “This city is stifling. I hate it here.”

“So do I,” You replied, standing. You were about to turn and leave, but you were compelled to ask. “By any chance, do you know a boy named Geyarajan?”

Aashiyana sat up straighter and peered at you. “I did know a boy by that name, yes.”

Your heart hammered in your throat. “Did?”

“He doesn’t go by that name anymore. His name is Gaveshan now.”

“Why did he change his name?” You asked.

“How do you know him?”

“He saved my life years ago. He… was my friend.”

Her eyes widened and jaw dropped. “Are you Primrose?”

Your expression matched hers. “Yes! How did you know about that?”

“We met!” She said, her eyes lighting up. “Your leg was broken and my mother set it. She was the colony’s healer. You stayed in the colony with us until she felt it was safe to move you.”

“I don’t remember,” You told her. “I don’t remember anything. I was with Rajan when I broke my leg, and then I passed out. When I woke up again, I was back home and I’d been missing for four days. I don’t know what happened during that time.”

Aashiyana frowned. “You don’t remember me at all?”

You shook your head sadly. “I’m sorry. What happened to the colony?” You asked her, putting a hand on hers around the bars. “Rajan told me that it was burned, but he didn’t give me any details.”

“Men came out of the forest with torches. They set fire to everything. We had to flee with nothing. Some didn’t make it.”

“Oh, god,” You said, covering your mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t fallen out of the tree…”

“Did you tell the men how to find us?”

“No! I swear I didn’t! I don’t even remember being there!” You said. “I swear, Aashiyana, I swear on my life.”

He deep brown eyes searched yours for a moment, a discerning look on her face, and she said, “I believe you.”

Your face crumpled as the tears began to flow. “Thank you.” You wiped your face on a handkerchief and straightened yourself. “Let me see what I can do for you. I’ll get you out of here.”

“Thank you,” She said.

It took some time, but you managed to make a deal with the judge. It was a lucky thing that your parents were in good standing with the stadium, as your father was a financier, so you were able to pull a few favors. You returned to Aashiyana’s cell three days later and directed the jailor to open the door.

“What’s happened?”

“I’ve made a deal,” You said. “You’re free of the fighting ring, but in exchange, you must work. I’ve made arrangements for you. I’ll tell you about it once we’re in the carriage.”

“Carriage?”

You took her by the arm. “Come on.”

Outside the jail, a carriage was indeed waiting for you. You opened the door and assisted her in getting inside, as the steps weren’t built for her large claws, and got inside after her. The carriage began to move.

“So what deal did you make?” She asked.

“You are to be my personal servant for the remainder of your sentence.”

She balked. “What makes you think I want to be a slave any more than a punching bag?”

“I have no intention of giving you any order,” You told her. “But if you wouldn’t mind, I’ll like you to take me to see Geyarajan. Or Gaveshan, I guess.”

“Do I have to stay with you?” She asked, eyeing you.

“Of course not,” You replied. “You’re free to go as soon as we get out of the city limits, as far as I’m concerned. I have no intention of ordering you around.”

“Can’t you get into trouble for this?”

“Of course. The penalty for assisting a criminal escape is taking their sentence plus five years.”

“If you know that’s going to happen when you come back, why would you do it?” She asked you, horrified.

“Simple. I’m not coming back.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

188 notes · View notes

generallynerdy · 5 years

Text

My World [Always Yours] (Natasha Romanoff X F!Reader)

Summary: One nudge, she thought. One nudge and it would be over. What did it matter anyway? She’d lost her whole world last week. What more was left to ground her?

Requested by @bands-and-shietz: I need me some more gay of Natasha if you have time to write it.

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: ENDGAME SPOILERS, death mentions, insinuated death by plum man, Endgame, grieving, suicidal thoughts, almost a suicide attempt, loss, depression, angst like you’ve never seen it before, also cursing Word Count: 2,198

Note: WOW this is angsty as fuck what the hell

The world had ended.

It had started again, of course, thanks to the Avengers, but as far as (Y/N) was concerned, the world had ended. It was over.

A little over a week ago, the Avengers succeeded in reversing the Snap of the Titan Thanos. Half the population had gone missing, half the population came back. Minus two.

Tony Stark was dead.

The world would never forget it and they were right not to. (Y/N) missed Tony, too, but she hated the world for not knowing about the second victim of the Avengers’ redemption. She hated them for forgetting all about her world, her hero.

Natasha Romanoff was dead, too.

(Y/N) groaned as light entered her room. The person who shoved back her curtains-- an angry, mohawk-bearing archer-- turned to look at her with disappointment.

“Get your ass up,” he said firmly.

She didn’t reply, except in an incomprehensible mumble, followed by a prompt ignorance of his words. She turned around in bed, buried her head under her pillows, and tried to sleep again. (Y/N) (L/N) didn’t want to wake up.

The woman hadn’t left her room in the Avengers Tower for 7 days. She left briefly to attend a funeral, but had otherwise been entirely out of the world of the living.

And that was how she liked it.

“You can’t keep doing this,” Clint told her, speaking a little softer this time. “You’re gonna kill yourself.”

“Good,” she spat. “The sooner the better.”

“Don’t say that, don’t you dare.”

The man sat down on the bed beside her, looking out on the Manhattan skyline and soaking in the view.

“I know what you’re feeling,” he said.

(Y/N) scoffed. “Don’t start.”

“(Y/N), I lost Laura. I lost my kids. If anyone knows what you’re feeling right now, it’s me.” Clint continued, unaware of the rage building in her with each word he spoke. “I get it.”

“But you don’t!” She shouted suddenly, rising from her bed. “When you lost Laura, you could get her back. I can’t! She’s gone forever, god dammit, so don’t you tell me you understand!”

At her outburst, Clint was silent.

She flopped back onto her bed and turned away from him again, finished.

In a moment, he left the room. She couldn’t help feeling like she had won. But then the realisation creeped back into her soul that it didn’t matter.

The only thing she felt was pain. And that wasn’t anything to fight about.

“I’ll only be gone for a few seconds, babe. I think you can last that long without me.”

“Yeah, but for you it could be hours. I’m giving you a good kiss to remember for your sake, okay?”

“Mm, I love you.”

“Break it up, lovebirds! We have a universe to save!”

“Suck a dick, Tony!”

“Hey, be nice. He’s just trying to get this show on the road.”

“And I’m just kissing my girlfriend. Seriously, (Y/N), don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will. You always are.”

In a flash of light, the Avengers were gone. In another, they were back. Barely minutes had passed for (Y/N), who they made stay behind, since they didn’t have enough Pym Particles to work with. It was Natasha’s idea, of course. She was always protective of her girl.

“Oh, thank god,” (Y/N) muttered as her friends reappeared. “That took longer than I expected. Is everyone--?”

She was barely onto the platform when a loud thump sounded.

Clint fell to his knees, arms limp at his sides. He stared right past (Y/N), who looked around wildly at the group.

A head of red hair was missing.

“Clint?” She asked. “Where’s Nat? Clint, where is she? Clint?”

He swallowed.

And then he shook his head, ever so lightly.

A broken sob passed by (Y/N)’s lips.

“You take care of that dumbass for me.”

“Please, she’ll be taking care of me.”

“Clint, seriously--”

“Okay, okay. I promise I’ll take care of her, (Y/N). When don’t I?”

“Oh, god,” someone gasped.

Oh god was right, (Y/N) thought. Oh God, where are you? Where are you now that my girlfriend is dead? Where are you when my world is ending?

The sun wasn’t up yet when she finally sat up from bed. She hadn’t slept.

She’d left her room a few times the day before-- mostly for food. People stopped bringing her meals in an effort to get her to come out. Jokes on them, she knew when they wouldn’t be in the kitchen. No human interaction for her, thank you very much.

This morning, though, she was feeling like risking it.

(Y/N) got out of bed rather quickly, acting like a different person than the hermit who hadn’t emerged from the Tower in a week.

She carelessly left her door open as she left her room, not bothering to change out of her pajamas, though she did grab a jacket. Oddly enough, it didn’t matter much to her who saw her anymore, even with the mess of a person that she was.

Stumbling down the halls, she found her way to a staircase.

Halfway up it, she ran into Bruce.

“You’re up!” He exclaimed. “How are y--?”

“Save it,” (Y/N) muttered, striding past him.

She clutched her jacket tighter as she finally exited onto the floor of her choice. The door to the roof creaked open and she slunk out.

On the very edge of the building, she sat down, letting her legs swing over the side.

One nudge, she thought. One nudge and it would be over.

What did it matter anyway? She’d lost her whole world last week. What more was left to ground her?

A gust of wind hit her back and, for a second, she thought it was the nudge she needed. But the wind wasn’t strong enough. It sent her hair in a million directions, but she remained still, ever still.

“Auntie (Y/N)?” A quiet, soft voice questioned.

The shock was a stronger nudge, almost enough to send her over the edge. But it, too, failed in the end.

(Y/N) turned her head to see a brunette little girl wandering toward her. The woman jumped to her feet and held her arm in front of the girl before she could get too close to the edge.

“Watch it,” she warned. “You could fall.”

“Why were you over there, then?”

Morgan’s question stumped her. There was an obvious answer. But she was only 5 years old. It didn’t even occur to her why (Y/N) would sit on the edge of the roof, moments away from falling off.

“What are you doing up here, Morgan?” She asked her with a sigh.

Morgan suddenly smiled. “Looking for you!”

“On...the roof?”

She nodded firmly. “Uncle Clint said you that it’s your favourite spot, so if I can’t find you anywhere, I should look here.”

(Y/N) held back a sigh. Damn you, Barton. Using Morgan to keep (Y/N) from finding her way off the roof was just cruel. How did he know she wouldn’t do it while the kid was there?

“Are you okay?” Morgan asked, interrupting the silence.

She opened her mouth to speak, but paused again. Her voice broke. “No. No, Morgan, I’m not.”

“Do you miss Auntie Nat?”

(Y/N) kneeled to meet the eyes of the girl, her own eyes filled with tears. “Yeah,” she whispered hoarsely. “I miss her a lot.”

“I miss my dad.”

(Y/N)’s heart broke. She had been so selfish, she thought. Here she was, considering tripping over a roof because of her dead girlfriend, while Morgan had just lost her entire world, too. Little Morgan had her whole life ahead of her and she had lost her dad. She didn’t need (Y/N) to go; she couldn’t lose another person.

“Mommy said I have to keep going without him,” Morgan admitted with a frown. “But I don’t want to.”

The kid wrapped her arms around (Y/N), enveloping her in a tiny hug.

“Oh, Morgan,” she managed to whisper. “I know you don’t want to, but you have to. You have to keep going, baby. It’s what your dad would want.”

Morgan nodded a little. “I know.” She looked up at her. “What about Auntie Nat? Are you gonna be okay?”

(Y/N) gulped. “I have to be. She would want me to be. She’d want me to keep going and take care of myself, take care of you, of everybody. Even if it hurts me a lot.” Morgan hugged her tighter, her little hands clutching tightly to (Y/N)’s shirt. Meanwhile, the older woman buried her face in Morgan’s hair, heart shattered. She hadn’t thought much of what Nat would want for her after she was gone. Whatever it was, she definitely hadn’t been doing it. She did know one thing that Natasha would want for her-- and for Morgan.

“I’ll take care of you, kiddo,” she said softly. “And you can take care of me. Okay?”

“Okay. Does that mean we can get ice cream and not tell Mommy?”

A gentle summer breeze passed over the nearly empty field. A single tree stood on a hill and, in the distance, a house in perfect condition was full of laughter and smiles. The Barton home was a happy one, even after all that its residents had been through.

Nat...

Quiet footsteps fell, crushing the grass beneath them as they headed for the hill. Up and up they went, blades of grass parting before them like they were some kind of Moses. A being of incredible power, yes, but a saviour? No. Just a survivor.

A figure reached the tree and sat below it, looking out on the fields with fondness.

It’s only been 6 months, but it feels like it’s been decades. Each day gets harder and harder. Waking up knowing that you aren’t going to be there is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. But I still manage it. Somehow.

Hair blown in wild directions by the wind, the figure sighed, leaning up against the tree’s trunk as if for support. There was supposed to be a stone here, she thought. A stone with an engraving, a cheesy engraving. That was one way to anger the dead.

Morgan needs me. The others need me-- the team, Pepper, Morgan, Clint, Laura, and the kids. I know that now. This is a family and it’s the one thing keeping me together right now. That and knowing you would want me here, want me working my ass off just to stay alive.

The figure began to dig at the ground beside the tree, opening up a small crevice, just large enough to bury something. From beside her, she took a little box and placed it there. She opened it once more, just to make sure that its contents were intact.

There were a lot of things I never got to tell you, Nat, that I never got to say. You were my whole world. I don’t think you knew that. You used to think you didn’t matter much to anybody-- but you were wrong. You mattered. You still matter, even though you’re gone-- especially since you’re gone. I don’t think anybody knew how much you mattered, either. Except me.

In the box was a neatly made letter tucked into an envelope. She smiled as she looked at it and the diamond ring that sat on top of it. She would’ve wanted this.

I love you. You know that, right? Even after all this time, I still love you. I’ll never stop. I’ll never forget and I’ll never let you go, no matter how much you beg me. Someone has to remember. And I’m gonna be that someone. For Morgan, for Nathaniel.

Below the hill, a toddler screeched up at the figure, arms lifted in an ‘up, please.’ It made the figure laugh. She closed the box and rushed to cover it with dirt, keeping an eye on the little guy toddling his way up to her.

Wherever you and Tony are, take care of each other. We’ll do the same down here. We’ll protect the world, just like we always do.

When the box was finally buried, she took one long look at the tree, sighing. She smiled sadly and turned away, starting toward the little boy, who was only halfway up the hill. She finally reached him and lifted him into her arms, laughing when he squealed with delight.

I lost my world. I thought I did. But now I know that my world is just a little bigger than you. You’ll always be a part of it. But the rest of it needs protecting, too.

(Y/N) and Nathaniel walked away from the beautiful tree in their backyard that had been there for as long as they could remember.

That tree was nothing special before, but now it had a box buried beneath it and a name carved into its bark.

I love you, Natasha. Be safe.

Always yours,

(Y/N).

well shit somebody call the cops on me that was fucked up

Masterlist

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katahnisharma · 5 years

Text

the press tour [3] | t.h.

Word Count: The whole part is 3.7 K

Warnings: this is angsty hehe

Summary: You’re a new, inexperienced actress plucked from the obscurity of everyday life to play the lead in the reboot of a famous British Jane Austen novel, and Tom Holland just so happens to be playing your love interest.

A/N: Lmao I’m back and I promise I’m actually going to finish this, it’s going to be a long wild ride lol :)

masterlist || series masterlist || playlist

“I can’t do this, Bailey.” You groaned, throwing out the hundredth dress that afternoon. Bailey sat perched on your bed, rolling her eyes at your dramatics.

“Yes, you can. It’s just a dress, geez.” She said, narrowly dodging your yellow sundress. You swirled around, your face blanched from nerves.

“It’s not the dress, though that’s part of it. It’s the fact that I have no idea whether this is a date or not.” You cried, kicking a stray shoe from your feet. Bailey got up and wandered into your closet, determined to find something you could wear on your afternoon out with Tom.

“Well, I don’t know much about dating, but I’m pretty sure this is a date. A guy and a girl together, all alone? Sounds like a date to me.” She reasoned, taking out a red dress that had gorgeous embroidered sleeves. You suddenly smiled, reaching out for it.

“That’s perfect! It’s casual, but also kinda dressy. Have I told you how much I love you recently?” You squealed, enveloping Bailey in a bear hug. The assistant laughed, patting your head gently.

“You don’t pay me enough for all this.” She teased, putting the dress in your hands. “Go get ready, Romeo’s almost here.” You pushed her out the door playfully, and stepped in front of the mirror.

Is this the day when everything changes?

“Y/N! I think he’s here!” Bailey called from downstairs, and you peered out the window into the street. Sure enough, Tom’s car was parked by the gate and he stood outside your door. From where you were standing, you could see him hold a bouquet of flowers behind his back.

Lilies, your favorite flower. He’d remembered from your Vogue Interview.

You turned to look at yourself in the mirror. Usually, you weren’t this concerned with your appearance, but you figured today you should look good. The dress on, you did your hair and put on your shoes. From below, the doorbell rang and Bailey answered it.

Here we go.

“Hey, Tom. Come in. Y/N’s upstairs, she should be down in a minute. You want something to drink?” She asked, and you smiled to yourself. Bailey was always the best friend/perfect assistant.

“I’m good, thanks. I’ll stand, I’ve been in the car for a while.” Tom laughed, and the sound made your face flush. Bailey came back up the stairs, smiling while you rushed around like a madwoman.

“You look fine, stop worrying. If you keep stalling he might think you’re not that into him.” She whispered, and you shot her a look of annoyance.

“Fine, fine! I’m ready, how do I look?” You spun around a little, and Bailey rolled her eyes.

“Perfect, now go! I have work to do and you’re holding me up!” She nudged you out the door, and you stood at the top of the steps. Tom was by your living room bookcase, looking through the titles with a smile. He knew you were a big reader, but it felt sacred to look at the books you loved.

“Hey.” You said, descending the stairs slowly to avoid embarrassing yourself. Tom looked up and nearly choked on the air.

“Wow, you look…...beautiful.” He breathed out, his jaw dropping ever so slightly. You blushed, feeling his eyes follow you down the steps. You came to stand in front of him, brushing your hair behind your ear. Tom wanted to brush it back for you, but he stopped himself. He brought out the flowers and handed them to you nervously.

“As opposed to…..?” You teased, watching Tom’s face go from admiration to horror.

“Oh, wait, no that’s not what I meant! You always look beautiful, I just meant that you look even more beautiful!” Tom stuttered, going red in the face. You giggled and Tom relaxed, realizing you were joking.

“I’m kidding! But thanks, you look amazing.” You said, taking him in. He wore a pair of dark blue slacks and a blue polo shirt, and still managed to look better than any male model you’d ever seen. Tom smirked, noticing you looking him over.

“Like what you see?” He asked, grinning when you blushed.

“I’m still deciding.” You quipped, causing him to laugh. From your room, you could hear Bailey yell “Get going you two!”

“Shall we?” Tom asked, and you nodded, taking the arm he offered. He opened the door and in the street you saw the most gorgeous red Ferrari.

“Oh my god, where did this come from?” You asked, standing completely dumbfounded. Tom walked over and opened the door for you, chuckling as you ran a hand over the hood.

“I actually just bought it in the morning. I really wanted to impress you.” He said, scratching behind his neck sheepishly. You smiled, giving his arm a gentle squeeze.

“While I love the car, you didn’t have to do this for me. I would have been totally happy just taking a cab.” You said softly, and Tom’s heart did cartwheels.

His mom would have said he picked a good one.

“Good to know.” Tom said with a smile, getting into the car himself and starting the engine. You brushed out your dress a little and laughed when Tom turned on his 90s rap playlist. The two of you rounded the corner, Tom smiling when you threw your hands up in the air to feel the breeze.

“So...where exactly are we going?” You asked, waving when a group of girls excitedly screamed as you and Tom passed by. Tom smirked, his eyes focusing on the road ahead.

“It’s a surprise.” He said, and you rolled your eyes jokingly. You hated being in the dark, but you knew that Tom had spent a lot of time planning it out, so you decided to play along. Without warning, Tom took your hand and held it across the console. You suppressed a gasp, relishing in the feeling of his hand on yours as he took a right turn.

The rest of the ride was spent in comfortable silence, the kind that you’d always found hard to find. Being with Tom was easy, you were both completely at ease around each other. Tom held your hand, and carefully caressed it with his thumb every so often. The store fronts and skyscrapers whizzed by, and you lay your head on the window watching everything pass by. When Tom thought you weren’t looking, he’d steal a glance at you, loving the way you smiled when the breeze hit your hair and how you looked sitting next to him.

After about fifteen minutes, the car began to slow down. You looked up, realizing that you were in the Flower District. It was your favorite place in the city, where the streets were lined with open-air markets and flower shops by the hundreds. Before you got the role of Emma, you spent every weekend you could wandering the streets here.

“How did you know?” You whispered, feeling the sunshine fall on your face as you closed your eyes in bliss. Tom smiled, his face blushing slightly.

“I-uh, I remembered you talking about this place from your Vogue Interview? God, that sounds so creepy….” He said, facepalming so you wouldn’t notice him blushing even more. You laughed, finding him endearing and not at all creepy.

“Hey, I think it’s sweet personally. I know that’s how you knew lilies were my favorite flower, it means you care.” You said, giving his hand a light squeeze. Tom removed his hands from his face, glad that you didn’t think he was some sort of stalker.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Wanna go walking with me?” Tom asked, a little unsure if you would think the idea was lame. He knew you weren’t high-maintenance, but he didn’t want to screw up this date. You just smiled at him, nodding your head immediately.

“I’d love that.” You said, smiling even more when Tom let out a breath of relief. He got out and opened the door for you, offering you his hand to hold. It was a bold move, even for him, but he figured if he was going to do this he may as well go all in. His hand shook a little, but when you took it he couldn’t help the sparks that ran up his arm.

The vendors and customers all stopped to look at the two of you as you walked down the street. No doubt they recognized you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Tom didn’t seem to either, because all he could do was stare at you. A couple times, you stopped to talk to some of the vendors who recognized you from years ago, when you used to come with your mother.

“I’ve missed this place.” You whispered, stopping and letting the sun illuminate your face. You closed your eyes and breathed out, unaware that Tom was watching you with heart eyes.

“This was the perfect date.” You said, your face suddenly going red. Crap, you hadn’t meant to say date, you didn’t know if it was one. You were waiting to see what Tom would call it.

“Well, it isn’t over yet.” Tom laughed, noticing your expression. He thought it was cute, that you were trying to figure out what this was. You rolled your eyes, taking his hand again. The vendors smiled as you walked past, one offering you a flower to put in your hair.

“Wait, what do you mean it isn’t over? What else is there?” You asked, and Tom smirked. He stopped walking and pointed to a building a little ways away. From where you were standing, you could make out that it was called The Arboretum.

“That’s where we’re going.” Tom said, and you knew instinctively that it must have cost him the earth to take you there. This was an expensive part of town, and you had heard people talk about The Arboretum before.

Yeah, this was definitely a date.

“Wow, Tom you really went all out. I feel kinda bad that you went to all this trouble.” You said, biting your nails nervously.

“I wanted to, you deserve it.” He whispered, and your heart melted a little. After a couple seconds of that same comfortable silence, the both of you continued to walk toward the building in the distance.

When you arrived in front, you were shocked at how beautiful it was. The architecture was old, but it had been maintained so well that it looked new. The windows were tall and framed with gold, and there were creeping vines with white flowers climbing the walls.

“Oh my god, how have I never been here before?” You asked, as Tom took you inside the marbled halls. The inside was even more gorgeous, with sconces, panelled ceilings and flowers everywhere. From what you could gather, it appeared to be a boutique hotel. When the concierge saw you and Tom, he nearly tripped over himself to greet the two of you.

“Mr. Holland, Ms. Y/L/N, it’s an honour to have you here.” He gushed, shaking your hand profusely. The other guests were whispering to each other, obviously recognizing you both. Tom smiled, putting his arm around your waist protectively. You nearly jumped, but forced yourself to remain cool.

“Thank you for agreeing to all my requests.” Tom laughed, and the concierge waved over some assistants to escort you past the now gathering crowd. Tom kept his arm around you the entire time, stopping only to wave or shake a fan’s hand. You leaned in close to whisper to him.

“What requests were you talking about?” You asked, but Tom pretended not to hear you. One of the assistants turned around and smiled at you, so you assumed that whatever Tom had done would blow you away. You couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could Tom.

The assistants led you to a long staircase, with strings of flowers decorating the rails. At the end of the staircase was a door, which a woman stood next to. She bowed her head slightly when the two of you arrived, and Tom took your hand to lead you up.

“Okay, seriously, where are we-” You started to ask, but you were completely silenced once the lady opened the door.

The door opened onto the top of the building, the terrace gardens. It was so beautiful you had to take a breath. The floor was tiled with cream colored panels and the railings were decked with the same strings of flowers you had seen on the staircase. There were fairy lights hanging from canopies and candles along the floor. In the center was a single white ceramic table, with a vase of lilies on it.

“Oh my god, Tom!” You choked out, not believing that all this was his idea. Tom blushed a little, secretly thrilled that you liked it. He had been nervously planning this for weeks, coordinating with his Mom about things that girls liked. Tom even had the hotel clear out the terrace for three hours, so the two of could be alone.

“Do you like it?” Tom asked, waiting for your approval. You covered your mouth to keep from grinning too much, and instead leaned up and boldly kissed his cheek.

“I love it so much. No one has ever done anything like this for me before.” You whispered, your face flushed from your previous action. Tom was blushing too, but he found that he quite liked the feeling of your lips on his skin. He found that he wanted to feel your lips on his next.

“Shall we?” Tom could barely eke out, trying to control his emotions. You nodded, letting the kind woman pull out your chair for you. There was a slight breeze and when you looked over the balcony you could see the flower stands below. It was so beautiful up here, you almost never wanted to leave.

“I can give you some time to look over the menu, if you’d like.” The woman, who you realized was the waitress, said handing you the little blacks booklets. Tom nodded, and asked if you wanted anything to drink. You drew your attention away from the street, and smiled at the waitress.

“Sorry, I kind of blanked out for a minute. Could I have some sparkling water, please?” You asked, and Tom asked for the same. For a few seconds, you both just looked at each other, complete euphoria radiating off the both of you. The sky was painted a pretty pink and orange hue, as the sun began to set.

“This is so beautiful, thank you.” You said, letting the wind blow your hair over your shoulders. Tom almost didn’t respond, watching your hair fall around your shoulders. He wanted to take a picture of you, because the light was perfect but he thought that might be a little weird on a first date.

The water came and the two of you ordered, though you weren’t really focused on eating. You and Tom just wanted to talk, to get to know each other better. It was funny, since you already knew so much about the other, to find out things you didn’t know. Tom asked about your family and your childhood, and he was hooked on your every word. He told you about his dreams and his family back in England, and you told him you wished you could meet them.

“Me too, I know my mom would love you.” Tom said, and you smiled at the thought. You knew that Tom was really close with his family, it was one of the things you loved about him. Meeting Harrison was a big deal, since he was both Tom’s best friend and part of the family. It meant that Tom liked you enough to trust you with that part of his life.

“My mom would love you too.” You said, and Tom smirked at you.

He knows very well what he’s doing to me, doesn’t he?

The food came and it was good. But for the most part, you were both focused on making each other laugh. Tom was funny, but he found that you were even funnier. It was nice to be together, everything felt natural. At some point, Tom laughed so hard the waitress came back to make sure everything was alright.

“I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” You said, getting up and making your way to the door. Tom leaned back, smiling to himself as he let the breeze ruffle through his hair. The date was going perfectly, he hoped you liked him as much as he liked you.

Well, she did say it was the perfect date and that she wanted to meet Mum, he thought.

His daydreaming about you two being the next power couple was interrupted by the sound of your phone. You must have left it here, Tom realized, and he leaned over to make sure it wasn’t urgent. But the contact name caught his attention, and not in a good way.

Alex ♥️: Love you babe <3

Tom’s face stiffened, feeling his heart drop. Who was this guy, and why didn’t you tell him? He really thought that you had liked him, but maybe it was all an act. You were a great actress, it would have been easy to lead him on. Tom couldn’t stop all the negative thoughts invading his mind. He was planning to tell you how he felt, to ask you to be his girlfriend.

He felt like such a fool.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, walking back over to the table. You could sense something was off, because Tom’s whole demeanor had changed. He seemed upset about something, and you hoped everything was okay.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Tom said, but you didn’t buy it. He looked hurt and confused, and it was eating away at you. But you didn’t press him, it would only make it worse. You both began to talk again, but it wasn’t as easy going as before. Now there was some sort of barrier between you two, and try as you might you couldn’t break it down.

When you finished, Tom paid the bill though you had offered to split it. He laughed a little, but it sounded more bitter than teasing.

“It’s fine, I took you out. It’s on me.” He said, and you finally agreed to it. Once everything was settled up, you walked back down the street towards Tom’s new Ferrari. He opened the door for you, and you settled in. You tried to push down the feelings of disappointment and confusion at the way Tom was acting. Part of you had hoped that he would say something, tell you what all this meant.

But it never happened.

I guess this wasn’t the day everything changes after all.

The drive back was mostly silent, but it wasn’t that same comfortable silence as before. There was an obvious chill between you two, and it was driving you crazy. Tom kept his eyes on the road, hardly looking at you. You spent the time looking out the window, watching the streets blur into a multi-colored haze.

You must have been nodding off, because you finally jolted awake when the car stopped outside your gate. Tom got out and opened the door for you mechanically. You stood on the sidewalk awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. Tom seemed to be doing the same, because he kept opening his mouth and closing it before saying anything.

“So….I had a lot of fun today. Thank you, it really was perfect.” You said, smiling up at him. Tom softened a little, before stiffening up again. That didn’t escape your notice.

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for coming out with me, I won’t see you again for a while.” He said, and your heart sank. You forgot that Tom would he leaving for London tomorrow, to start the press junket for Spider-Man Far From Home. He’d be gone for two months, and you were afraid he’d forget you.

And with the gorgeous Zendaya around, you really couldn’t blame him.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I’ll really miss you, but I hope you have a good time.” You said, walking to the door. Tom followed, standing behind you as you unlocked it.

“So...I hope we can do this again sometime?” You ventured, testing the waters a bit. Tom’s face hardened, but he tried to appear unfazed.

“Yeah, maybe. I guess we’ll see.” He mumbled, and you hung your head slightly. You went in for a hug, but it became a sort of awkward side squeeze instead. Rather abruptly, Tom turned and walked away, leaving you to stare after him.

What went wrong?

With a sigh, you went inside and threw your handbag by the umbrella stand. You didn’t think you would cry, but you felt the tears well up nonetheless. Bailey came down the stairs, eager to hear about the date.

“So?! How was it?! Did he finally tell you he’s madly in love with you?!” She squealed, setting down the stack of paperwork she had been filling out all afternoon.

“It was great, until…” You started, but you began to cry before you could finish. Bailey rushed over to help you sit down.

“What happened?” She asked, letting you cry on her shoulder. Through the blubbering, you managed to tell her everything. By the end of it, Bailey was holding you in a fierce hug.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he’d tell you how he felt, not ice you out.” She said, and you wiped the tears away.

“Me too, but I guess I read too much into it. I thought he really liked me, you know? Guys are complicated.” You sniffled, going to the fridge to rummage around for the tub of ice cream you kept hidden. Bailey sighed, hating to see you so upset.

“Well, he’s gone for a while so you won’t have to see him.” Bailey said, and you laughed at that. You found a tub of cookie dough ice cream and sat down next to her again.

“Whatever, forget him. Let’s watch 10 Things I Hate About You instead.”

add yourself to my taglist here! | writing challenge

TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be taken off!): @tommyparkerr @grandmascottlang @toms-order @darling-parker @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @buckychrist @cutiehollands @peeterparkr @jupiterparker @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin @sergeantbxrnxs @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @underoosstark @stormyholland @let-me-luve-you @smexylemony @roses-and-sweaters @musicgirl234@its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human @lovelyh0lland @blueberry-butterscotch @keylla-dunspeh @lucille-lovely @yeahbutmarvel @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @celestialparker @letthembehappymcu @jnej @spiderman-n @positiveparker @treegelbman @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @galaxy-parker @sdrecsfics @doimakeitthroughthenight @wronglanemendes @brokensimpson @naikia @spnsoap @ninetypoundsofasthma @quitetommy @voltronshepard @marvelismylifffe @iluvmesomemarvelndc @annathesillyfriend @tiredfeels @scarlet-spiderr @hedwigthelegend @renesniajazza @bibliophile-grasshopp @tomhollandswhore @yeeterbenjaminparker @juliabuenooo @h-osterfield @hazsterfield @hazhasmycoffee @paradoxparker @pokeloisfk @machomango13 @parkerstylesperalta @mcuspidey @nobledoritoman @cosmicdaya @hey-its-grey @suncitydanvers @toms-gf @cutesparker @whypeterparker @sunshinehollandd @sunshineandparker @starksparker @hollandroos @mr-delmar @blissfulparker @xxtomxo @sun-flowerparker @nobledoritoman @hey-its-grey @suncitydanvers @nnatasha @parkerpuffwrites @hollandsosterfield @bilkyrie @hillsnholland @peterplanet @hopespym @peterstrainingwheels @parrkerspeters @stuckonspidey @jacobsbatalon @prkerspeter @aw-hawkeye @spideypeach @spxderbarnes @stealth-spiderr @hazownsmyass @uglypastels @galaxy-parker @darlingtholland @spideyflicker @neptuneparker @blissfulparker @maryjparkers @curlytoms @marvelous-maddi @trustfundparker @clockblobber @asmilinghopelessromantic @i-don’t-wanna-go-mr-stark @marvel-language @zaynjawy @sholla4-314 @beautyandflannel @lemondropirwin @angelbabymed @captnsmarvels @in-the-corner-coffee-please @peterbparkcr @william-stanley @greenarrowhead @squishyhyunjin @bibliophile-grasshopp @juliabuenooo @pokeloisfk @machomango13 @parkerstylesperalta @pokeloisfk @starz-23 @spoopy-spooderman @whatevsholland @aestheticstom @tomzfrog @ppunderoos @spiderkat1248 @musicgirl234 @embrace-themagic @v-valz-n @dancingoncrackedhearts @imspiderparker96 @mlt2000 @cordiebirdy @headsup-itsmostlypeter @sspideytom @yellow--inlove @kisses-holland @hardestbattles-strongestsoldiers @infamousmany @omgbstudies @theefactorygirl @aelinashryvver @sarah-moss2015

The Press Tour Taglist: @notes-from-my-journal @mcuspidey @cosmicdaya @musicandbokkslovingweirdo @kaylzjordan @puffedgill @loki-in-hogwarts

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