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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ A Perfect Circle ╝
Premise: When you like the guy who likes the guy that likes you, things get a little out of hand, when a triangle becomes a circle not just one gets hurt.
Word Count: 2266
Note/warning: in this series I'm going for a bit of punk Yamaguchi, even if it isn't cannon is just my personal favorite, lol. Also he's bi here, so you've been warned, while this is not full blown yaoi or anything of the sort it does have mention of feelings for the same sex. Nothing hardcore, reader is female.
Chapter 1: Midnight Kisses
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
College wasn’t easy, your time off was basically non-existent, if you had any it was mostly to complete your assignments or study for a test, that of course plus the time you had to spend in your part-time at a local coffee shop.
So when your classmate, friend and crush, asked you for help doing his hair, you had to call in sick and forgo sleeping the night before to finish an assignment just so you could hang out with him at his dorm, of course, he doesn’t know any of this.
Yamaguchi Tadashi sits beside you every Thursday in finance class.
For a while, that was all there was to say about him being in your life, however, his shy demeanor and cool appearance managed to captivate your heart from day one.
The transition from classmates to friends was fairly painless, he was funny and smart, you enjoyed his company a lot and he did as well, you were caring, helpful and smarter than him, meaning you could help him study. Great foundations for a friendship, if it wasn’t for his stupidly good looking face and those cute freckles that don’t even let you go a night without dreaming of them.
Thinking of confessing was pretty much not an option though, as when you became friends you got to learn he’s had an all time one sided crush on his best friend since high school and that friend happened to be his own roommate.
And a guy.
While it did break your heart for a while, you noticed he did like girls after all, he was open minded and gender was not one of his concerns when choosing a partner. So it wasn’t all lost, at least not for you, one sided crushes get old, and if the right person for you comes to your life they can turn to dust. Or that’s what you told yourself at least, to find motivation.
Yamaguchi had invited you over to his dorm a couple of times already and you met this other guy before, while you could appreciate his good looks and how tall he was, he didn’t seem at all like the most lovable guy out there, they barely had a conversation and it was mostly one sided as well, just like their entire relationship. It did make you feel bad for him, but it also made your heart shine with hope. He didn’t seem so hard to defeat and Yamaguchi certainly deserved better than that.
You arrived earlier than expected to his apartment, ended up taking a taxi afraid of being late and Yamaguchi was still on his way back from school; his roommate opening the door for you.
“Um, hi! I’m Yamaguchi-kun’s friend, is he back already? I’m supposed to help him with something today.” the tall blonde just moved to the side of the door letting you into their shared small home.
“He’ll be home soon, stuck in traffic.” he just nodded towards the couch motioning for you to just sit there and wait like a good girl, quietly. But where’s the fun in that?
“Tsukishima-san right?” unwillingly he just nodded once more, unplugging the kettle from the wall.
“Tea?”
“Thank you, that would be lovely.” Tsukki wasn’t used to this type of sunny smiles, while he does have women chasing his every step, he manages to kick them all away as fast as possible; none of them ever caught his eye nor made him want to even chat with them.
But this time was different. He’s heard a lot about you from Yamaguchi and he feels like he already knows you, as weird as that sounds, he didn’t feel uncomfortable around you and that was definitely new.
“I have some fancy fruit tea my mom brought the other day, would you like to try that or green tea is fine?” why was he even bringing this out? He hasn’t even thought of this damn tea for weeks, but now he was suddenly very aware of all the snacks around the house that girls might enjoy.
“Oh I love fruity tea!” a small smile crept over his face, one that could creep someone out if seen up close, but thankfully you didn’t notice.
“It’s a berry one…is that fine?”
“Yeah that’s lovely, thank you! You’re nicer than I thought you were.” chuckling, you nervously played with the tips of your hair, while you knew you’d be safe with him, this was pretty much the first time you talked to one another and were completely alone in the house just the two of you at the moment.
“Oh? Nah, you got it right, I’m not nice…” sighing, Tsukki shook his head while preparing your tea, then he brought out a tin with cute looking cookies which were not his in the slightest, yet he set a few on a small plate and handed it over to you along with a steaming mug of delicious smelling goodness.
“I mean…just look at those cookies and fancy tea! If you weren’t nice you would have left me here on my own and stay in your room eating all this goodness by yourself.” you were so delightful, he didn’t even think it was possible for a girl to be this nice to be around. No obnoxious questions or loud laughter, no flirting. Your smiles seemed real, you were truly enjoying his treats and company, no insults were needed, he could get used to this even if that on its own was a terrifying thought.
“Alright you got me, just don’t tell anyone…would hurt my reputation...” he laughed quietly and this made you smile even more. He wasn’t as bad as you thought and that was an understatement, he was actually nice and you didn’t mind one bit sharing some of your time with him.
A little under thirty minutes passed before Yamaguchi finally arrived home. He came in panting heavily, his face red with excertion as he kicked his shoes off and ran inside. “(Y/N)?”
“Yams! I’m here in your kitchen!” confused, he walked over to where your voiced echoed from, and was welcomed by a rare sight, Tsukki was sitting next to you on the other stool, both of you holding a mug in between your hands and eating some cookies while talking about turtles. Why turtles though? What did he miss? Was Tsukki smiling just now? He had so many questions.
“Are those…my cookies…?” he let out a loud gasp, an evil looking smirk covering Tsukki’s face immediately. “Can’t give her just tea, you know…I don’t own cute food….” he wasn’t mad at him for giving away his cookies, not at all, in fact he was enjoying how cute you looked with that bunny shaped cookie pressed to your rosy lips, a great use of the cookies he won at the convenience store lottery. What threw him off a bit was that Tsukki had just taken them without asking first, is something he’s never done before at least not with things like that.
“I’m leaving, have practice.” he got up from the stool, though not without giving you a soft smile and a nod before doing so, a rare sight indeed.
“Yeah….um (Y/N) is staying for the night. I think I told you already, but that’s fine right?” a part of him wished he’d get angry, jealous even, he wanted him to look his way, to feel threatened by the lovely girl spending the night with him; and he unexpectedly did look jealous, quite a lot I would say, but not for the same reason he wanted to.
“Yeah it’s fine, I left the air mattress on the couch so she can sleep better there.” when Yamaguchi looked towards the couch the front door could be heard being closed shut as Tsukki left the apartment, startling you, yet what startled Yamaguchi wasn’t the loud bang but the fact that Tsukki hadn’t just pulled out the air mattress for you, but also set up two pillows, sheets and a fluffy blanket, his fluffy warm beloved blanket, one not even Yamaguchi has gotten to touch before. Just what on earth did he miss?
Deciding on ignoring his friend’s confusing behavior he went back to you who immediately fed him a bunny cookie as to distract him from the entire ordeal, which earned a smile and a giggle from him.
“Thanks, I needed that. Sorry I came home so late I tried getting here faster but the traffic was awful..”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t have to wait for long and that tea was lovely~
So what did you need my help with?”
Yamaguchi’s hair has been getting longer and he wanted to do something fun with it before he had to cut it all off for his internship next year, “Oh yeah! Can you help me bleach the underside of my hair? I suck at it…”
“Sure! Just bleach? Or are you going to color it too?” Yamaguchi truly enjoyed the simplicity of this conversation. It was always like this with you, everything was so warm and cozy, lots of laughs and lingering looks, it felt different for some reason, like the entire opposite of the way how Tsukki is with him, he felt wanted.
“Just bleach for now. I think it’ll look cool. I also have been browsing online for tattoo artists, wanted your opinion with that too.” It’s been in his mind lately how he wanted to do something liberating, something that would mark a milestone, the day he decides to move on from Tsukki, to finally confront reality and be with someone who truly appreciates him and wants to be by his side, romantically, hopefully that person would be you.
“Oh show me, show me! Do you have an idea of what you want already?” scooting closer to him, you looked like a cute little girl trying to look at his screen, it was endearing, made him want to squish your face and made his heart skip a beat or two at the closeness.
“Just some lettering…though still not sure what I want it to say…maybe on my wrist, something I could cover if I wear long sleeves.”
“Oh this one looks nice!” the picture featured stylized lettering with butterflies on top of some letters of the word to accentuate the fancy turns and swishes, making it look like a fairytale title in some book. “Shall we get matching tattoos? It’s such a pretty style!”
This made Yamaguchi blush, his heart fluttering, while he hated the idea of matching tattoos within couples, it was such a pure hearted request it made him smile at the thought of sharing something like this with you.
“You mean like the very same phrase or like you have one half and I have the other?”
“I was thinking of the first one but I must admit the second one sounds even more cute.” you were blushing too, both of you were sporting a lovely pinkish skin tone, as you both smiled at each other like fools.
“Then lets do it! How about the lyrics of a song we both like? Would be more meaningful and only us two would know what is it about.” this was exciting, you honestly didn’t think he’d say yes, that’s usually reserved for couples, but you weren’t going to complain, is what you wanted after all.
You spent the entire night listening to your favorite bands and taking notes on phrases you both would find meaningful or interesting, eating some pizza and laughing at each other’s silliness until both ended up falling asleep on top of each other on the couch after his hair was done.
Yamaguchi opened his eyes first and noticed how you were dozing off on his shoulder. Your hand was fisting the side of his shirt while you nuzzled his arm like a cute tiny kitten. Made him want to kiss you, and that wasn’t normal for him. Since he remembers he’s only liked Tsukki, only wanted to kiss him, only wanted him. But you were making his heart burst every few seconds and you made him feel excited about the littlest things, life was brighter, happier, it was something he didn’t want to loose next semester if you end up in different classes. He wanted to move on with his life, to bring you as much happiness as you brought for him.
Unconsciously, he leaned closer and closer until your faces were only inches away, his nose pressed to yours, as he glanced down at you with a loving gaze.
His nose tickled yours and made you stir, though having him this close meant this was certainly a dream right? Why else would he be at a kissing distance? For sure a dream, so why not enjoy it…?...closing the short distance, you pressed your lips to his and he kissed you back right away without hesitating. It was a soft kiss, loving, tender, yet quite intense; lips molding with each other, hands gripping clothing and hair, cute mewls and little moans leaving each other’s lips every few seconds. In all truth you have no idea how long this kiss was, but as soon as the kitchen clock announced midnight, a loud horrified gasp and the front door slamming shut could be heard, Tsukki had come back from practice a bit latter than expected tonight and had witnessed the tail end of the passionate encounter.
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Masterlist Next Chapter
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x f!reader#love triangle#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi x reader#haikyuu yamaguchi#yamaguchi fluff#yamaguchi x y/n#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukkiyama#fluff#haikyu x reader#haikyuu tsukki#hq tsukki#tsukki x reader
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hey blondie - k. tsukishima
tsukishima kei x f!reader ; brothers best friend! tsukki x yamaguchi’s sister! reader, accidental meetings, kind of slow burn, grumpy x sunshine trope, loosely based off of hey blondie by dominic fike, fluff, angst, sendai frogs team cameo!!, overprotective brother yams, yapper gf x listener bf, they both misunderstand each other at times, and 12k words
summary ; accepting a blind date with your coworkers brother leads you to meeting one of your brothers friends. will you hit it off? or will your brother's overprotectiveness prevent you from being with each other?
melody's recommended melody ; hey blondie playlist
Feeling something bump you on the back of your head, you turn around quickly to be met with Akiteru’s gaze. Your eyebrows lifted in confusion while shrugging your shoulders. He points his finger downward at the paper he threw at you. Following his finger, you see the jumbled up piece of paper lying on the floor. Uncrumpling it with a huff to find Akiteru’s messy handwriting, “Blind date with my brother tomorrow?”. You lift your eyes up to see him staring at you in anticipation, knowing that Akiteru has been trying to set you up with his brother since forever. Now normally, you would politely decline saying you wanted nothing to do with dating. However, seeing all of your friends introduce you to their newfound partners, you think you’ll take a chance on Akiteru’s brother.
Checking the box that says yes, crumpling the paper up, throwing it back to Akiteru. You find him slowly unfolding the paper with both eyes shut tightly. His uneasiness soon turned into celebration, feeling victorious that he finally got you to agree. Taking note of the time you see that it’s lunch time, gathering your things to head out only to be stopped. Akiteru hands you his brother's number, telling you to text him when you get the chance. You grab it curious on why Akiteru was so fixated on getting you together with his brother. Not thinking much of it, you stuff the paper in your pocket deciding to deal with the situation when you get back. As you start to get a quick bite you get a call from your brother, “What’s up Tadashi?”.
“Well if it isn’t my sister who finally answers my calls! Do you know how long I’ve been calling you for?”, you giggle at your brother's frantic tone. “Sorry Yams, I was busy with work but what’re you calling for?”, you hear a sigh from your brother. “I know this is when you take lunch. I'm near your work and want to meet up at that new cafe?”, open the door to said new cafe. “I’m already here, so hurry up. Since you’re so deprived of Vitamin me.” Yamaguchi goes quiet, hearing only the mutter of city life behind him. “Sorry.”, Yamaguchi laughs. “Yeah, you should be. See you in five!”, hanging up the call to order for your brother and you.
Sitting down after retrieving your order to only hear the little bell on the door jingling, looking up to be met with a green head of hair. “Took you long enough, Tadashi. You took so long that my lunch break is over.” Yamaguchi stares at you wide eyed, as you start grabbing your things pausing halfway. “Oh man Yams, you should see your face! I’m joking, sit down before my lunch is actually over. I have like a whole hour for lunch, don’t worry about it.”, Yamaguchi sits down pouting, upset that you made him look like a fool. “So big brother, anything new and interesting with you?”, you look up at him while sipping your coffee, almost burning your lip. “I told you to stop drinking things that are so hot! You’re going to burn your taste buds!”, he grabs the cup from you, placing it down. “Nothing is new, Yachi and I went to go watch our friend play volleyball yesterday. Oh! I fixed the copier today, so that’s new today, I guess.”, you giggle. Wiggling your eyebrows, “Yachi, huh? Who’s that, a new girlfriend?”. Yamaguchi chokes on his drink, furiously waving his hands around, “No! No! We’re just friends! I swear!”.
“What about you, huh? Anything new sis?”, you hesitate about telling him that your coworker is setting you up on a fake date. “Well, not really but you know my friend, Hana, she got married last week. Oh, and Sayuri got a new girlfriend! So, yeah I think your copier story has got me beat this time.”, you look blankly at the pastry you picked up. Yamaguchi looks at you pitifully, thinking of someone who he could set you up with. Yet, it didn’t help that he only had a handful of friends plus they were all off limits. None of them were good enough for you, not even Tsukki. You’ve never even met them before so it’s not like he can just randomly tell all his friends, hey did you know I have a sister! Shaking off the thought, “Well, love comes when you least expect it right?”, you nod knowing you were in no rush.
Yamaguchi’s phone rings, he holds it up before excusing himself to go outside. Staring at him through the glass to find him red-faced. Taken back, you try to read his lips only to make out the words, no way and no you can’t come. You laugh at your brother refusing someone until you see him deflate, knowing that whatever goofy tactics he did ended up failing. Dragging his feet all the way back into the cafe, “What was it? Did the great copier break again?”. “No, it was my friend. He said he wanted to join us, even though I told him no.”, you laugh knowing your brother has always been a pushover. “Well, is it so bad that your sister finally meets your friends?”, your brother nods. “Yes, it is bad. They’re boys, I don’t trust them. You can meet Yachi and that’s it everyone else is off limits!” Yamaguchi crosses his hands making an X.
“What are you even saying?”, you look up to find a stranger with tousled blonde hair and half rimmed glasses. Yamaguchi freezes, slowly lifting his gaze up to the stranger. “Is this why you didn’t want me to come? You were meeting someone?”, you freeze but not out of fear. “I’m Yamaguchi’s sister, nice to meet you!”, the stranger stares at you before sending you a soft wave, his face puzzled. “Well look at the time. Tadashi, it was nice seeing you but I got to go! Let’s meet up soon, okay.”, you get up quickly, worrying you won't make it to work on time. Tsukishima looks to where you were sitting before looking at Yamaguchi, “Spill.”.
Yamaguchi lets out a deep exhale, “Ok, yes I do have a sister. Regardless, she’s off limits so don’t even think about it Tsukki!”. Tsukishima rolls his eyes at Yamaguchi’s refusal. Of course he thought you were�� aesthetically pleasing to look at. Yet, Tsukishima still respects Yamaguchi and decides to not protrude where he’s not welcomed, it’s not like he’ll actively seek you out anyway. He’s sure if he did Yamaguchi would reject every time he tried. Going about their day, the pair stay in that quaint cafe. Tsukishima pretending he didn’t just meet you for the sake of Yamaguchi. While you quickly walk your way to work trying to forget the handsome stranger's face.
Heading into work, settling back into the flow as you suddenly get interrupted, “Have you texted him yet?”. You turn around watching Akiteru question you, “No, I'm sorry I went to lunch with my brother but you know what I’ll text him after my shift.”. As Akiteru starts walking away you remember what you wanted to ask him, “Hey Aki, can I ask you why you’ve been wanting to set me up with your brother?”. He turns around placing his hand on the back of his neck, “My brother is kind of…reserved. He doesn’t really go for things. Seeing your personality, I figured that maybe you can take him out of his shell a bit.”, you think about his answer and debate if you could be with someone the opposite of your outgoing nature.
Well, you never know unless you try! You smile at him, thanking him for being honest and saying you look forward to meeting his brother. You grab the piece of paper from out of your pocket, inputting it into your contacts before sending out a quick message. “Hello, Is this Akiteru’s brother? He told me to contact you regarding our date, are you available tomorrow night? (‘•.•’)?” Putting your phone away to continue your work day, feeling confident as to what’ll come out of this date.
Back at the cafe, Tsukishima’s phone vibrates on the table interrupting Yamaguchi mid conversation. Tsukishima glances down looking at the notification being from an unknown number, picking it up seeing your text. “Who is it, Tsukki?”, he quickly replies, placing down the phone. “Nothing, my brother set me up on a blind date with his coworker.”, Yamaguchi perks up excited to see Tsukki show some initiative on his love life. “What? You? You agreed to a blind date with someone your brother picked for you?” Yamaguchi chuckles a bit at Tsukki’s abnormal behavior. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”
Just as quickly as the day started, it ended. Beginning to pack up your things to leave so you could make the train. Walking to the station looking down at your phone to see a response from Akiteru’s brother. Not paying attention you bump into someone, “Oh, I’m so sorry!”. Looking up to find the stranger at the cafe, your brother’s friend. “Just be sure to watch where you’re going. I don’t think Yamaguchi would want you hurt taking the train.”, you freeze at his monotone voice. You see him heading the same way as you, not wanting to think you’re following him you decide to lurk steps behind him.
As you see him taking the same local train you were, dammit! Hoping on looking for a spot anywhere but near him. Glancing around to find none, deciding to stand holding onto the bar above. Pulling out your phone glancing at the text Akiteru’s brother left, “I’m available. Did you have a place in mind? Call me Kei, my brother talks very highly of you so no need to be formal.”, you feel hopeful especially since he sounds so nice over text. “Let’s do hotpot! The weather is getting slightly chillier, it’s the perfect season for it! ���( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)”, sending it excited for tomorrow. Tsukishima faintly chuckles at your joyful response, agreeing that the weather was getting slightly chillier enough to enjoy hot food.
Looking over at the stranger you met earlier today to see him zoned into whatever was on his phone, the train comes to a stop. He looks up catching you staring at him, you wave. He looks around to make sure you’re waving at him. You knew your stop was next, deciding to overcome your nervousness you sat next to him. “Hey, I’m Yamaguchi’s sister! I know I left abruptly earlier, sorry about that. You’re Yamaguchi’s friend, right?”, Tsukki blankly looks at you taken aback by how friendly you are. “Yeah, I’m Yamaguchi’s longtime best friend. My name is Tsukishima by the way.”, you repeat his name to make sure to keep it stored. “Well Tsukishima, it’s really late what’re you doing out so late at night?”, you cock your head to the side, curious. “I could ask you the same thing.”, he raises an eyebrow in your direction. You pout, “Well don’t tell Yams but I usually leave work this late. Now, your turn.”. “I practiced a little too late, I wanted to practice on my jump float serve.”, you quirk up knowing that that was Yams signature move in high school.
Before being able to respond you feel the train come to a stop, looking to see your stop was already coming up. “Man, I was looking forward to talking to you more. Maybe get some dirt on Yams but it seems like the universe has a different plan, my stops approaching. It was nice talking to you Tsukishima!” You get up and wave goodbye seeing him wave back this time. Tsukishima realizes he never got your name, doubting Yamaguchi would give it to him. He feels a bit exhausted after that conversation, you were the embodiment of energy. It kind of creeped him out, you were like a combination of Yamaguchi and Hinata. Pulling back out his phone to respond to his blind date, “Hotpot sounds good, send me the address and I’ll meet you there tomorrow at 7:30.”
Getting ready to leave, you make sure to stop by Akiteru’s cubicle, letting him know to give you good luck. He sends you off with two thumbs up, telling you not to worry and if Kei does anything let him know so he can reprimand him. Walking to the station you look at your phone texting Kei that he is still able to make the date to which he responds with a simple yes and see you soon. Getting onto the train, you see Tsukishima sitting down already. “Is this seat taken Tsukishima?”, you smile at him. He looks up to you shaking his head allowing you to sit down, “You know I didn’t get your name. All I know is that you’re Yamaguchi’s sister.”. Sitting up you realize you never told him your name, urgently telling him and apologizing for your manners. “What brought you on the train this early today?”, you giggle as Tsukishima calmly manners your conversation from yesterday. “I have a blind date actually, I didn’t want to tell Yams yesterday because he gets all overprotective.”, Tsukishima pauses.
Suddenly everything goes in slow motion. Were you Akiteru’s coworker? No way that’s bizarre, maybe you have a different blind date? You look over to Tsukishima seeing him stare into oblivion, poking his shoulder. “Earth to Tsukki-”, “Do you know Akiteru?”, you laugh. “Yeah I do, he's my coworker actually, why?” Tsukishima pauses, staring at you deeply waiting for it to click in your mind. You stare at him oblivious, before it suddenly dawns on you why he would know Akiteru and how he suddenly had the same facial features as him. Laughing to fill the awkward silence from Tsukishima, “Who could’ve guessed? I mean I should’ve, you resemble Akiteru! Whew, I feel relieved. I’m not going on a date with a complete stranger.”
Tsukishima panics mentally, Yamaguchi said you were off limits. Should he say now that you guys can’t be anything but friends? Can he even be friends with you? How should he go about this? “Don’t overthink so much Tsukishima! My brother won’t care, let’s just enjoy our hangout together!” hearing you take off the label of a date eases him a bit. Deciding to just stop the overthinking mess in his head to enjoy this hangout with you, a hangout that’s all it was. “It’s not like we have to tell my brother anyway. He keeps Yachi and him a secret anyway.”, Tsukishima looks over at you surprised. “He says Yachi doesn’t like him but they both attend all my games together. If someone as oblivious as you can figure that out then I feel bad for Yachi.”, you look at him offended.
“I’m not oblivious! I just use my brain only for work. Anything after that doesn’t need much thought.”, Tsukishima grimaces at that. “Any improvements on your jump float serve?” Tsukishima is surprised your brain remembered that small detail. “No actually, now I see why Yamaguchi practiced religiously. It’s like just when I’m about to do it, I hit it and instead serve regularly.”, you place your elbow on your stomach thinking back to Yams practicing. Remembering how relentlessly he trained to hit that complicated serve. “Well knowing how hard Yams worked in high school he was like on level twenty.”, Tsukishima questions what you’re about to say next. “Whereas you’re like level five, don’t get so down on yourself. It’s not like you suck at volleyball, take your time.”, he’s shocked how realistic you are while also being so aloof.
“If you were paying attention, mister, I'm so oblivious. Then you would know our stop is next, see I pay attention. Come on, let's get our things together.”, you smile, grabbing Tsukishima’s hand. He falters, shy by the sudden physical touch. You look back, seeing him nervous before pulling back your hand. “Oh, I’m sorry! I should’ve asked before grabbing your hand.” Tsukishima brushes off saying it’s fine as he clasps his hands together. Following your lead to the hotpot place, Tsukishima learns you only allow yourself a hotpot twice a year. You tell him he should feel lucky that you’re sharing this rare experience with him to which Tsukishima side eyes you.
Entering the hotpot restaurant you say hello to the owner who welcomes you and Tsukishima kindly. Tsukishima likes how friendly you are, it allows him to sit back and observe. He prefers not talking too much instead enjoying the rare opportunity to be silent. However, you snap him back into reality as you let him choose what broth he wants to go into the hotpot. After picking an equal amount of veggies before heading to sit down at the table. After settling in, Tsukishima starts cooking the meat, adding that he doesn’t really have a big appetite. You wave him off saying it’s fine, “Let’s get to the good part Tsukishima. Have any good dirt on Yamaguchi?”
Tsukishima looks up at you to see you grinning evilly with your chopsticks in hand placing the veggies in the broth. He really thinks to himself if he did have dirt on Yamaguchi only thinking of one story. “Yamaguchi drunkenly admitted one time that he had a crush on Akiteru.”, you blink before belly laughing. “Oh my gosh, is that why he never let me hangout with you? Maybe we should try getting them together! Oh but he likes Yachi now.” you deeply think how to redeem Yams love life. Tsukishima playfully rolls his eyes, “What about you? Why did Yamaguchi keep you a secret for so long huh?”, you look at him surprised that he was so blunt. “Well, Yams told me it’s because he didn't want any of you making a pass at me. You know the overprotective type but I guess time has a different plan, huh?”
Tsukishima fiddles with his fingers after plating all the beef, knowing he was thinking so much you lift up a baby corn. “These are my favorite, the veggies have been cooking for a while so they should be perfect! Here try.”, Tsukishima closes in, taking your offer and trying the baby corn off of your chopsticks. He agrees that the veggies are done and cooked to perfection, lifting up a thumbs up. You visibly light up at Tsukishima’s agreement to which he smiles just a bit. Even though you and Yamaguchi don’t really look alike, he sees it in the mannerisms you share. Both liking affirmations that you’re doing something right, opening up to people more when you feel comfortable with them, and both sharing the same smile.
Tsukishima leans over to grab more vegetables and broth, just because he wants to see you smile again he praises you for the tasty broth you picked saying he was suddenly feeling really hungry. Not much to his surprise you light up and Tsukishima feels satisfied, when he gets home he’ll have to thank Akiteru for making him go on this date after all. You lift up the broth with your ladle, Tsukishima stops you. “That’s way too hot. You’re going to burn yourself.”, you look at him puzzled. “How do you know that?”, Tsukishima questions if you’re just oblivious or if you have poor eyesight. “The steam coming out of it? Let it cool down first.”, you listen, looking at him as he nods. Lifting it again only to realize he was right, the temperature allowed you to really take in the flavor. That bastard!
Not wanting to give him the satisfaction you changed the conversation. “I know you play volleyball but what’s your position?”, Tsukishima glances at you. “Middle blocker, I essentially just block the ball. Not very flashy, I know.” You stop him, “What that’s awesome! That’s why you’re super tall, it gives you the advantage! Plus, I would watch all the rallies with Yams. Men's Volleyball players spike that ball hardcore, meaning you would have to keep a really steady arm.” you stop yourself realizing your rambling. “It might not be flashy but you’re a part of the team so it’s important.”, Tsukishima agrees. Happy that you made his insecurity into something positive.
That night, you and Tsukishima continue to talk about various things from your siblings, your past school life, and your jobs. This is where you find out Tsukishima actually works near you at the Sendai museum. You hype up his job even more than you did him being a pro volleyball player. Tsukishima didn’t talk often, he gave the occasional nod and even some small input here and there but it never felt forced. He was actually paying attention to what you were saying, putting importance on every single word you were saying. Talking to him felt comforting even if he just stayed quiet, you liked someone who just listened to you talk about the random things in life.
After finishing up your hotpot, you bid a goodbye to the owner, thanking them for the delicious meal. They laugh saying to enjoy the rest of your night. You find Tsukishima glancing over at you holding your bag. You walk over to him, “So are you taking the same train as me again?”, Tsukishima nods. “I’m taking the same route as you. It would be rude of me to not walk you home. I can’t let my friend's sister walk home alone, it wouldn’t be safe.”, you accept his offer as he links your arms making sure not to get lost in the crowd. Making it to the train he offers you a seat, sitting down next to you, handing you your bag.
You didn’t know if it was the broth or the hard day at work but you were exhausted, glad that you ended the day with a new found friend. Feeling your phone vibrate you take it out to see a text from Tsukishima, he points to your phone when you look at him confused. The text read, Are you tired?. “Did you really save me on your phone as Kei?”, you nod. “You told me I could call you Kei, did you redact that statement?”, Tsukishima glances anywhere but at you. “No, you can call me Kei.” you laugh, you guess Yams isn’t the only pushover. You text him, I’m tired. (っ,-) My stop is next though so I’ll be fine! ദ്ദി(• ˕ •マ.ᐟ). “How do you come up with those things so fast?”, “If I teach you will you start sending them back?”. “No, no way.”
On the train ride you learned that Tsukishima isn’t really enthusiastic unless it’s about Volleyball, he never has a big appetite, and he loves music and dinosaurs. To which you added that your favorite dinosaur is a Pterodactyl due to always wanting to fly instead of being tall. Tsukishima sidney’s you thinking you made a dig at him, to which you start laughing. You tell him later to text you his playlist, wanting to hear his music taste but Tsukishima rejected saying he doesn’t just share that information with anyone. Approaching your apartment, you declare that you will get close enough one day that he’ll have no problem giving it to you.
“Well blondie, we’re here! Thanks for walking me, I mean you’re right who would mess with me when I have a six foot personal guard dog.”, Tsukishima huffs brushing off your comment. “When can we hang out again?”, Tsukishima is surprised you wanted to hangout again due to him being mostly silent this date. He didn’t think you would find him interesting enough, “I guess we could meet at the cafe tomorrow for lunch?”. He fiddles with his fingers, “Ok! I take lunch at one so make sure to meet me there. Don’t leave me waiting.” You walk off forgetting something, “Thank you Kei, I had a lot of fun.”, you walk up to your door waving to him before closing your door. He watches you close the door before calling Akiteru, “Hello, Kei. What’s up?”. Tsukishima takes a breathe, walking back to the station, “Thanks.”. “Thanks for what?”, Tsukishima hangs up not wanting to get gushy over the phone, opting to instead put on his headphones.
Walking to your office in the morning you expected Akiteru to question you. However you did not imagine that he would be sitting in your cubicle waiting for you. Akiteru hands you a cup of coffee as you settle into your workflow. “How was it?!”, you flash a smile towards him as Akiteru stares at you wide eyed. “It went well! Tell me about it!”, you think about telling him, debating whether or not you should. “We went to get some hotpot and we’re going to hangout today for lunch. That’s about it.”, Akiteru lights up, excited about the potential of your relationship.
“I don’t want to put a label on anything but I want to be friends first. So sorry Akiteru, you’re going to be playing the long game.” He deflates at your comment expecting a love at first sight story. Akiteru thanks you for your intel because he knows Kei would never tell him anything. You sip on the coffee Akiteru brought you almost instantly burning your tongue. Remembering last night where Tsukishima stopped you and Yams scolding you the day before. Placing down the coffee cup with a huff. Of course they were best friends, they both nagged at you like they were the same person. Thinking of Tsukishima, you pull out your phone to see if he ever texted you back last night about what cafe you guys were going to be at. “Did you forget already? The one we first met at, you need to pay more attention.” You huff, he even reprimands you while texting. Reacting to the text with a thumbs up, anticipating your lunch break.
Hours go by slowly as you spend every hour glancing at the clock. As soon as the clock strikes 12:00 you get up to head to lunch, telling Akiteru you were heading out. Walking to the cafe you feel your phone vibrate, “You’re late.”, you know that tone anywhere. “I’m actually on time, you’re earlier. It’s a five minute walk, just sit down and look pretty you’ll be fine.” you hang up on him, laughing at your remark. As you were putting your phone back in your pocket you feel it buzzing again. “Kei-“, “Kei? Who’re you talking too!”, you freeze, Yamaguchi called. “Keitru, Akiteru, sorry my coworker was bothering me.”, you hesitate wondering if he’ll believe your cover up.
“Whatever, want to meet up for lunch?”, you open the door to the cafe, Tsukishima waving you over. “Sorry Yams, I’m actually with my coworker eating lunch.”, Tsukishima glances up blankly, scared. “Oh that sucks, ok well maybe some other day then.” You exchange kick goodbyes, hanging up. “You should totally see your face, Kei. You're paler than you usually are, chill out. Let’s go order!” Tsukishima gets up as you both leave your belongings in the booth. Tsukishima orders first and you’re up next ordering something iced to which Tsukishima glances at you sideways. He pays again, even though he paid for a hotpot last time.
“Why’re you getting your coffee iced?”, you look at him questionably. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”, he chuckles knowing you were going to tell him anyway. “I burned my tongue on some coffee in the morning.”, now he laughs. You roll your eyes, of course the only time he laughs is at the sake of your misery. You go to retort but he suddenly gets a call, he doesn’t make the same mistake you do. Actually looking at the caller ID, flashing his phone to you which shows the screen that said Yamaguchi. Now it’s your turn to laugh as you watch him accept the call, paler than a ghost, “What is it Yamaguchi?”.
You hear a loud “Tsukki!” over the phone as Tsukishima backs up from his phone. You beg him to put it on speaker to which he mouths no. As you start pouting he rolls his eyes, switching to speaker. “Tsukki, do you want to go to lunch together?”, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “No Yamaguchi, I’m already at lunch with someone.”, you hear Yama gasp. “Tsukki you’re with someone else?”, Tsukishima agrees with Yama. “Well I can join! Who is it with?”, Tsukishima trips over his words. “I’m with my brother.”. Yamaguchi goes silent as you giggle silently, knowing the lore between Yamaguchi and Akiteru.
“Man, first my sister and now you too. Well, I’ll leave you to it Tsukki! Have fun!”, Tsukishima hangs up. Eyes zeroing on you, furiously. “I’m never doing that again.”, you laugh at how scared Tsukishima is of Yamaguchi. “Anyways Kei, how is your day going? Besides almost dying at my brother's phone call.”, you look at him taking a sip of your drink. “Well the museum got some new properties for the new exhibit opening up.”, you urge him to continue. “It’s nothing cool, just a couple of exoskeletons of prehistoric animals.”. “Tsukishima, you have to work with me here. Please, I bet working at a museum is awesome! It’s like Night at The Museum!”, Tsukishima lifts a brow. “No way, you’ve never seen Night at the Museum?”, he shakes his head as you realize what your next hangout is.
“Basically this guy works at a museum as a guard and everything in the museum comes to life. It’s awesome.”, Tsukishima huffs. “It’s not like that at all, at least what I do isn’t. However, I really doubt anything comes to life, sorry.”, you laugh rolling your eyes. “Then tell me mister my work is nothing cool, what is your job?”, he thinks for a minute really thinking of something that won’t sugarcoat his job. “I file the paperwork for all new objects, I do bidding offers on new items for upcoming exhibits, and I give little kids tours. Does that sound interesting?”, he takes a sip of his drink thinking he finally exceeded in making his job sound lame. “So let me get this straight, you do bidding wars, talk to adorable children almost every week, and get to over analyze pre historic objects?”, he nods. “That doesn’t sound lame at all, you fraud!”, he shakes his head, disagreeing with you.
Only you could find the right words to make his job sound more exciting than it is. “Man your job is so cool, what’s the oldest thing you’ve ever bid on?”, you light up. Every time Tsukishima talks to you, he realizes just how much you remind him of that pipsqueak Hinata, are you and Hinata secretly related instead of Yamaguchi? “Nothing too crazy, I recently won some 400 year old armor the other day. That should be coming in soon along with a couple of swords and stuff.” you let your mouth hang open in shock. “You’re telling me that you’ve held a real sword before and you don’t think that’s cool!?”
Tsukishima blushes, confused as to why you’re so convinced of making his job seem cooler than it was to him. “Kei, you’re so cool. You’re a pro-volleyball player who works at a museum? So not only are you athletic but you’re also super smart? I see why my brother hid you from me.”, Tsukishima chokes on his drink. You patted his back making sure he was okay. Tsukishima gave a thumbs up, looking down at his fingers. He’s received compliments before just not like this. Not compliments that felt like they’re permanently going to be etched in his mind. Or compliments that felt so heavy on his heart that he wanted to explode in embarrassment.
“Oh look at the time! I hope I didn’t keep you too long Kei! My work isn’t too far but I’m not sure how far your commute is?”, he waved his hand not wanting to concern you with that. “Bye bye Kei! We can hangout this weekend! Movie date at mine!”. You left Tsukishima to deal with all the glances of nosy people who overheard you. He picks up after him heading back to his work, texting you “If we’re both picking movies then we have to watch Jurassic Park.”. His eyes bulge out of his sockets, “Deal! I’ve actually never seen it before. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)”. You wait for Tsukishima’s reply, shocked when you look at your phone. “Lame.”
The weekend approached, texting with Tsukishima on and off about what you had planned to do on your date. He wasn’t really surprised when you didn’t end up telling him, chalking it up to it being a suprise. Tsukishima rolls his eyes at your response, heading out with his headphones and bag. Opening the door and locking up, “Hey Tsukki! Where are you headed to?”, he turns around seeing Yamaguchi and sighs, upset that he locked the door for nothing. “I’m going to my brothers for the day. I won’t be back till later so don’t wait up.”, Yamaguchi nods, unlocking the door and stepping in saying goodbye to Tsukki. Closing the door, Tsukishima lets out a breath, maybe he shouldn’t keep doing this. What’ll happen if Yamaguchi finds out, is keeping this a secret even worth it?
Tsukishima’s thoughts cloud over his head, he doesn’t even know how he ended up at your door. Lost in the music and his thoughts, he pulls out his phone double checking if he had the correct address. Knocking once he’s confirmed everything, you open the door, sparkles and all. While he wasn’t going to exaggerate saying all his thoughts just magically went away, being with you did lessen the weight on his shoulders. With you he wasn’t in his head all the time, more present in the moment. When you took in Tsukishima’s quietness you opened the door wider, “Don’t leave me hanging Kei, we have two movies to get through and some cake to make!”.
You know Tsukishima was abnormally quiet, you didn’t want to bother him though. Tsukishima didn’t seem like the person to open up so easily. So instead you choose to distract him, pulling him by his sleeve to your kitchen seeing all the ingredients displayed nicely. “We’re going to be making strawberry shortcake!”, Tsukishima looks over to you. “Did you ask Yamaguchi what my favorite dessert was?”, you blankly stare at him. “No way it’s my favorite dessert too! As if Yams would ever answer any of my questions about you. Plus, it’s super easy to make!”
“What Jurassic Park are we watching?” Tsukishima snaps out of his daze. “The very first one, it’s the only important one anyway.”, you whisk all the wet ingredients together missing the Tsukishima that was more vocal than usual at the cafe. Deciding to do what you do best, fill the silence for the both of you. “I wouldn’t take you as someone who likes something as sweet as Strawberry Shortcake.”, Tsukishima laughs. “I may not be the cheeriest person but that doesn’t mean I lack taste.”, you chuckle looking over to Tsukishima. Starting to see things you haven’t seen before like how he has the faintest smile lines or how he has a scar in between his fingers, most likely from volleyball. These details don’t really stand out to you but once you start looking at Tsukishima as more than just your brother’s Pro-Volleyball player friend, you’ll see that maybe there's more to him than you think.
“Can I ask what you like about strawberry shortcake?”, you say with a soft tone. Tsukishima looks at you, fully taking in your expression before answering. Curious if you were actually asking what he likes about the strawberry shortcake or what he likes about you. Yet you showed no change in your emotion, he debates whether or not to be blunt and define what you're asking. Not willing to put his pride aside, he decides to find common aspects in you and strawberry shortcake. “It’s very vibrant and pretty. It’s not overly sweet, more like sweet in a refreshing way. Every time I take a bite it’s like being at ease, nothing else but me and the shortcake.”, you turn around confused. “Are you attracted to the shortcake Kei? Why are you so detailed?”, Tsukishima’s speechless and embarrassed. You really were just talking about the shortcake. “I was expecting, it’s so yummy or I love strawberries! However, I think you might be in love with strawberry shortcake, maybe you should marry it.”, you pat him on the back then place the cakes in the oven.
Tsukishima fills the awkward silence with what he knows best, music. Playing his monthly playlist, you turn around quickly lighting up at the music playing. You look at Tsukishima but he hastily looks away, feeling very vulnerable at this moment. Your heart pumps in joy, knowing that Tsukishima trusts you enough to share something he loves with you. “Is this ADOY?”, Tsukishima glances down at his fingers, nodding. “You’re right, you’re a man with taste.”, you playfully wink at him. “I saw them live last year, they were so cool! This song is my favorite!”, you reach out your hand in Tsukishima’s direction while singing along. He looks up, shaking his head, accepting defeat and retracting your hand. Feeling that Tsukishima might not be the dancing type. Until Tsukishima reaches for your hand as it almost completely retreats, linking it together with his. You both swayed back and forth, spinning until you felt dizzy as the cake scent filled the room. Laughing when you had to go on your tiptoes to reach your arm over him. At this moment, his thoughts were now completely gone.
As the music stops, you hear your timer beeping. You slowly pull away your hand with a smile, cautious not to cause any misunderstandings. “Oh Kei, you have to come look at this. It’s beautiful!”, Kei looks at the cake not understanding what you’re seeing. Nodding anyway, you put the cake away to chill as you grab some snacks so you can watch Jurassic Park while the cakes chill. “Kei if this movie sucks, you’re so taking me to hotpot again.”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “If it sucks it's because you’re uncultured, not because of me.”, you smile happy that he’s back to normal.
“You’re telling me this all happens because some jerk turns off the power in the park?”, Tsukishima nods. “Ok, but who’s smart idea was it to be like “Hey, let’s replicate dinosaurs!”? They’re extinct for a reason!”, Tsukishima questions your opinions. “At least the T-Rex saved them at the last minute. Not all dinosaurs were bad.”, you agree with Tsukishima. “That is until the new ones where they do the exact same thing again!”, Tsukishima chuckles, shaking his head. “No, the Chris Pratt one’s don’t exist, forget those from your brain altogether.”, you laugh. “Well at least my movie won’t scare the crap out of you but first, let’s frost that cake!” you grab Tsukishima’s hand, dragging him to the kitchen.
Grabbing the piping bag and handing it to him, Tsukishima looks at you questionably. “You can’t pipe frosting dino boy?”, his face falls. “Here let me show you, since you’re so clueless without me.”, you press down on the piping bag. Really concentrating on how to delicately place the frosting, Tsukishima watches you. Really glancing at your concentrated face more than your piping technique. “See it’s easy, even though it looks kind of crooked that doesn’t matter.”, you look up to see Tsukishima grinning. You’re taken aback, having never really seen Tsukishima smile before, curious what’s got him smiling. “You must really like strawberry shortcake, if it makes you smile that much.” He shakes his head, scoffing. Tsukishima couldn’t love something, that’s lame.
He picks the piping bag from you copying exactly what you were doing, he backs up noticing that his piping was off. He looks back to see if you were watching, disappointed to see you snickering. Going behind him to help him, “You’re putting too much pressure Kei! Here, softly and pick up, see!”. He feels your hands encapsulate his, your hold firm but yet so gentle as if putting too much pressure would mess up the cake. Blushing at your frame behind him, you slowly let go letting him handle the rest of the frosting. “There you go Kei! You’re the best!”, you flash him a thumbs up, he scoffs in return but you see the blush lightly decorating his face. You smile going off to fetch the strawberries that he cut. Placing them down on the cake while Tsukishima frosts. Grabbing some frosting and placing it on Tsukishima’s nose, he eyes his nose in disbelief, grabbing it and spreading it back onto your cheek. You laugh going to your sink to wash your face, grabbing a knife and some plates.
“Are you ready for the best strawberry shortcake you’ve ever had?”, Tsukishima lifts a brow. “You did hear me when I said this is my favorite dessert right? Meaning I get this often.”, you nod still stubbornly confident. “Meaning I’ve eaten this many times and am a very harsh critic.”, you close your eyes smirking. “Tsukishima, you underestimate my baking abilities. My brother says I have the best shortcake recipe ever.”, he stays quiet. “Your brother's favorite food is soggy fries, I don’t think I trust his opinion.”, your shoulders fall. Cutting a piece and handing it to Tsukishima, feeling defeat in talking up your baking abilities. He takes a bite and falls silent but you notice this small sparkle in his eyes, “I made you eat crow! Tell me Tsukishima, it’s the best! Come on, tell me.”, you wag your finger waiting for his compliments.
Tsukishima avoids eye contact, “It’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be, I’ve had better.”. You lean closer to him, “I’ll accept your feedback but you have to look me in my eyes and say it.”. Tsukishima’s voice falters as he tries to look you in the eye, he notices your eyes zeroed in on him, wanting to prove him wrong. “It’s ok, I’ve had better.”, you laugh calling his bluff. “Well since it’s so bad, I’ll let you take the leftovers home. Any objections?” Tsukishima stays silent, no rebuttal. “That’s what I thought blondie, come on take your cake and let’s watch the superior movie.”
“That is nothing like working at my job. Maybe if I was more delusional and romanticize everything like you do it would feel like that but no, not even remotely close.”, . “I know that this is not what your job is like, duh, it’s a kids movie. But you have to admit it was more entertaining than Jurassic Park.”, Tsukishima shakes his head. You huff, Tsukishima sure was prideful never admitting you were right. “You know if you don’t say i’m wrong then you’re saying i’m right.”, you smirk getting close to him.
Tsukishima laughs, “I aspire to be as wrong and delusional as you one day.”. You stutter back, before getting really close to his face, “At least I can admit when I'm wrong blondie.”, you smirk. Tsukishima’s jaw clenched, his voice lowers as he moves more into your personal space only a couple of inches separating you two. “Are you saying I’m stubborn?”, you smile, knowing he’s playing right into your game. Whispering in a sarcastic tone, “Well look at the state of you, not wanting to admit that I’m right. What would you call yourself Kei?”. You inch closer to him, he stares at your lips, “Tenacious, I would say I’m tenacious.”. You chuckle, holding eye contact with him, not wanting to let him win in making you feel timid.
Kei looks at you then down at your lips, you start to tilt your head. Waiting for Kei to lean in, giving you the green light to continue. He leans in slowly, you start to anticipate feeling his lips on yours. Wondering how he would kiss you, would he kiss you softly? Just as you start leaning in you back away, interrupted by Tsukishima’s phone ringing. You feel yourself deflate, laughing. Of course, the universe was against you. Tsukishima pulls away, groaning as he picks up the call. “What do you want Kogane?”, his voice very sharp and his hands rubbing his brows. “Yes Kogane, I know practice is tomorrow, what about it?”, he now answers very calmly and sarcastically.
Tsukishima looks over to you before quickly fleeting his gaze somewhere else as if he didn’t just try to kiss you. “No way. I’m not going to put it on speaker Kogane.”, he rolls his eyes. “I should’ve never shared my location with you. Fine, I’ll ask her. Don’t call me back.”, you laugh wondering what he was going to ask you. He hangs up, suddenly standing up right, “Want to come to my practice tomorrow?”. Tsukishima watches as your eyes sparkle, happy that he asked you. “Of course! It’s going to be so sweet! I can see your block and you can show me that new serve you’ve been working on!”
Tsukishima gets up after looking at the time, cursing himself for losing track of time. Grabbing his tote bag, “Don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t fully aced it yet.”. You get up going to the fridge, handing him the cake you packed for him. “With me there I think you’ll kill it!”, you wink and open the door. “Be safe Kei! I can’t wait to see you at practice tomorrow!”. Tsukishima watches as you close the door feeling nervous that you’re going to watch him practice. He puts on his headphones listening to the song you were dancing to earlier, smiling. Heading home and text you on the bus where his practice is and a playlist of his. “We’re officially best friends! The famous Tsukishima Kei sent me his playlist! (ó﹏ò。)”, he locks his phone. Rolling his eyes and smiling at your dorky response.
Arriving home, he hears Yamaguchi still awake. As he places his things on the table, trying to make space in the refrigerator. “You’re finally home Tsukki. Oh? What’s that big container?”, Tsukishima glances back at him. “Shortcake.”. Yamaguchi jolts up, voice raising, “Can I have some Tsukki?”. Tsukishima nods, “Get some before I put it away.”, Yamaguchi scrambles to find a plate and utensils. “This is so good Tsukki, it reminds me of my sister's shortcake! She makes it the best!”, Tsukishima tenses up. “Whatever Yamaguchi, I’m going to go to my room.”, he places it back in the fridge. Quickly retreating to his room to ignore any further questions or comments. He reflects on the day he had with you, anticipating tomorrow as he listens to the same song on repeat.
Walking to the gymnasium Tsukishima sent you, humming while feeling your heart bump out of your chest in excitement. You were never really allowed at Yamaguchi’s games due to your presence making him more nervous. Reaching the gym, walking in to look around, bumping into a stranger, immediately apologizing. He turns around as you look up to him, noticing he kind of looks like a mix of the Pokémon, Dodrio and Farfetch’d. “Sorry miss but interviewers aren’t allowed in here.”, you clear your throat. “Sorry, I just came from work but I’m with Tsukishima, he invited me to watch his practice.”, you scold yourself for coming straight from work. The man perks up in excitement, “You're her!”. You slightly start to shake your head, “Yeah, I’m her? All good things said, I hope.”, the stranger laughs before extending his hand out to you. “I’m Koganegawa, Tsukishima’s teammate.”, you reach out shaking his hand. “You’ve heard about me?”, your chest tightens. Feeling surprised that Tsukishima talks about you since he seemed like the type to keep his personal life quiet. “Oh, we had to drag it out of Tsukishima that he is seeing someone.”, your heart speeds up.
Were you seeing Tsukishima, is that how he described it? You hadn’t thought about it that way, everytime you were going on these dates, you just felt so comfortable that it didn’t even feel like a date. Usually when you went on dates you felt uncomfortable and uneasy but with Tsukishima it felt simple. Shaking your head, paying attention to what Koganegawa is saying. “He was showing up to practice less uptight and leaving practice earlier than usual. When we asked he turned all flushed, we knew something was up.”, he leaned in whispering. “He must really like you if he wanted to keep you a secret that bad.”. You force down your foolish grin, opting to laugh instead, Koganegawa starts laughing with you, finding you and Tsukishima’s relationship adorable. “Ok, Kogane, that’s enough. We’re scrimmaging in ten, get ready.”, you tilt over Koganegawa’s silhouette to see Tsukishima walking over to you. He suddenly stands taller than before, as if he's trying to one-up Koganegawa.
He comes up to you, placing a hand on your back, your eyes widen in surprise. Is this really the Tsukishima who was awkward when you grabbed his hand? Looking up at Tsukishima, who shows no change in his face yet his body language says everything you need to hear. “I’ll show you to the bleachers, Kogane tell Kyotani I’ll be there soon.”, Koganegawa nods, bidding you both goodbye. You laugh taking Tsukishima’s hand off your back, “Jealous much, Sulkyshima?”. Tsukishima turns away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”. Following him to the bleachers, “Whatever you say Tenacious Kei.”, wiggling your brows at him. Tsukishima suddenly regrets ever asking you here, especially if you were just going to poke him while he’s down.
Reaching the bleachers you glance down amazed, seeing all of his teammates getting ready for the practice match. Tsukishima fiddles with his hands, “Best seats in the house for my supposed “Good Luck charm”.”. You glance back grinning ear to ear, “Do well Tsukishima!”. Everyone from below you looks up to see Tsukishima ears turning the deepest shade of red. He nods, heading down knowing that his teammates were going to be picking on him as soon as he gets down.
“Do well Tsukishima!”, Kyotani fakes an obnoxious female voice. Tsukishima stops before facing him, “Who’s cheering for you Kyotani?”, he says smirking. Kyotani quiets down, retreating back to his position. Tsukishima looks up at you in the bleachers, watching you admire the whole gymnasium and the decorations that adorn it. Catching him look at you, sending him double peace signs and smiling. He feels his brain short circuit, sending you a discrete peace sign back not wanting to get any further attention. He hears a whistle blow, his brain instantly focuses on the game ahead of him wanting to put on a good show for you.
You watch as Tsukishima shuts down a couple of blocks, some he deflects to bounce off his hand. Scared to cheer but internally screaming for Tsukishima every time he helps score. A timeout gets called and you watch the teams gather together to rework their strategy. You see Tsukishima shocked with how tiny he looks compared to his other teammates. Even though he isn’t the tallest on his team, his shoulders were still pretty wide. You see why he’s a blocker now, you feel yourself start to get flushed. You smack your cheeks, giving yourself no time to get flustered instead focusing on the game below you.
You continue watching the game, excited that it’s now Tsukishima’s turn to serve. He looks at his hand then to you, you flash him a thumbs up with shiny eyes. Taking a deep breath before hitting it over, accomplishing a jump float serve for the first time. You celebrate because even though it’s picked up by the other team, he did it! You guess you really were his good luck charm. The ball gets passed back to Tsukishima again, watching him serve again but with more confidence than last time. In your head screaming one more point, watching as the ball floats over hitting the ground.
Celebrating as Tsukishima looks over to you as you mouth the phrase “good luck charm” and puff out your chest. Tsukishima covers the bottom of his face so you can’t see his small smile. He feels proud at this moment, winning for you, even if it’s just a scrimmage game. Although he wouldn’t admit that he won or prolonged the game just for you specifically, never. The coach calls the team together, congratulating the team who won before dismissing the team. You look at Tsukishima who waves you to come down. Excitedly jumping down the stairs, jumping into Tsukishima.
“That was awesome! You were like BAM! and BOOM! That serve was unlike anything I've ever seen! It looked regular but then it turned at the last minute! You’re awesome Tsukishima!”, Tsukishima backtracks. “Um, I’m not that great! I guess I was just having a good day today.”, you shake your head. Koganegawa and Kyotani appear behind you, clasping their hands together to mimic you and Kei’s stature. Tsukishima pulls away from you, “I can show you how to serve. Maybe not a jump float but something new for a beginner.”, grabbing Tsukishima’s arm quickly. “Let’s go!”
Tsukishima excuses himself to go get a clean ball for you as you see Koganegawa behind you. “Kogane! You were awesome in the scrimmage too! When you spiked the ball down it was so cool!”, Koganegawa laughs, feeling confident. “It’s called a setters dump. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. You can only do it every once in a while though!”, you feel your heart jump in excitement. Fascinated with the world that was volleyball. Tsukishima comes up behind you, tapping your shoulder. You turn to see Tsukishima guide you to the line. “The net looks so far away from here!”, you glance back at Tsukishima. “You got this!”, you hear Koganegawa cheer for you.
You send him a thumbs up feeling a little bit better now that you have an audience. Tsukishima rests his head near your head, placing the ball in your hand, fixing your arm. He slowly talks through the way to throw the ball and when you should hit it but you’re too focused on him being so close and feeling his heartbeat on your shoulder. He suddenly backs away, watching you from the sidelines now. You throw it up, hitting it over, only for it to hit the net. Sulking that you missed, Tsukishima laughs. “It’s your first time, you’d be naive to think you’d be able to hit it over instantly.”, you sneer at him. “Hey! Not naive, I was just optimistic!”, you square up to Tsukishima trying to copy his posture. Kyotani and Koganegawa walk up to you,
“Don’t worry he sulks when he misses too. I’m Kyotani.”, you wave, saying hi and introducing yourself back. “He’s so pessimistic, he needs someone who balances him out. Right Kogane?”, Kogane agrees with Kyotani, focusing on practicing his serves. “Shut up Kyotani. Come on, pass the ball.”, you look at Tsukishima questioning what he’ll do next. “You’re going to pass to me next, miss optimistic.”, smirking as he grabs a ball from Kyotani. You look him right in the eye, “Ok, you’re on. Don’t go easy on me either blondie.”.
“For someone who was so confident, you’re not the best.”, you pout. “I’m not a professional volleyball player, okay?”, Tsukishima notices you’ve both been practicing for a long time. Kyotani and Koganegawa both left, leaving you both in the gym alone. “Want to serve one last time, I’ll guide you through it.”, you nod. Wanting redemption for what was your last sucky serve, you can’t tarnish the Yamaguchi lineage. Tsukishima comes up behind you aligning his body with yours, softly grabbing your hand. Placing the ball in your hand, as he guides you to throwing it. Lifting both of your other hands up to hit it, watching it go over the met with additional strength from Tsukishima. You gasp, feeling victorious.
Looking behind to see Tsukishima smiling down at you. You freeze, feeling your hands become sweaty and your ears ringing. Without hesitation he softly grabs your face, you lean in tired of waiting for him to make the move. Feeling your lips meet, dancing against each other as sweetly as you both did in the kitchen. You smile into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck as he bends down a bit. Kissing as if it was second nature to both of you, feeling comfortable and vulnerable in this moment. The way Tsukishima always felt hanging out with you, vulnerable but yet so comforted in your presence. Not wanting to pull away but slowly losing your breath, you feel him pull away first, wanting to see your face. He looks at your kiss bitten lips, the flush slowly decorating your face and your eyes glossed over with happiness.
When you pull away all you see is reluctance, Tsukishima’s brows are furrowed, his posture is tight, and he can’t meet your eyes. “I have to close up the gym. You should walk home before it gets dark.”, you reach out to Tsukishima but he just pulls away, retreating quickly to the locker room. You stand there for a couple of minutes wondering if he’ll come out but he never does. You pick yourself up and walk home, wondering what happened in that millisecond of you kissing and backing away. Did he want to keep going, did he not want to kiss you, did you misread his actions? You spiral all the way home, texting him as soon as you get home. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong Kei?”
Tsukishima was still standing in the locker room when he got your text, he watched you leave the gym. He couldn’t help but think that this all got the best of him. He’s going behind his longest friend's back, kissing his little sister. What was he thinking? Yes, he believes you should date anyone you want by why him? Him out of everyone? He knew he messed up when your text had no personal touch to it, at first he thought he misread the ID. Hesitant to answer, scared of betraying Yamaguchi any further but also scared that he’ll hurt your feelings even more.
Yamaguchi was dear to him, Yamaguchi was the one to always snap him out of whatever mental issues he was going through, he shouldn’t pursue this further. He shouldn’t betray the only one who knows the best and worst of him. However, when he thought of you nothing even held a candle to you. Nothing was dearer than you, you supported him, comforted him, made all his faults sound positive. How could he just break your trust like that, he might have been an asshole in high school but he will not allow that to happen again. He won’t let you see that side of him, you don’t deserve it.
Feeling a vibration on your bed you look to your phone, seeing a notification pop up. “I’m fine, I just need to get something off my chest. Tomorrow, can we talk?”, you let out a sigh. Relieved that he even texted you back, “Sure but don’t scare me like that again Tsukishima! (•̀⤙•́ )”. He texts you his address, knowing that Yamaguchi won’t be home till later since he didn’t have a day off. You go to sleep feeling lighter than you did earlier. Curious as to what was going on in Tsukishima’s head. While Tsukishima was charting up all the possibilities to break his problems to you politely as he could.
Knocking on Tsukishima’s door, biting at your lips in nervousness. You watch him open the door as you take in his appearance. His hair is all out of order,, the bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever, and he’s still in his pajamas. Your heart crumbles at the sight, wanting to relieve him of whatever troubles he was having but scared to push him. He welcomes you in and you see Tadashi’s shoes and clothes misplaced everywhere. “Why do you have so much of Tadashi’s clothes?”, you side eye him. Was he cheating on your brother with you? Is that why he pulled away! Oh god this is why he pulled away! “Are you together with Tadashi?”, Tsukishima’s eyes widen looking over at you. “What? No! What are you even saying?”, you still remain stiff not believing him. “We’re just roommates. Did your brother not tell you that he lives with someone?”, you relax just a bit. Sure, they 're just “roommates”, they’re always just roommates. “Show me his room then if you’re just “roommates” then.”. Tsukishima rolls his eyes, walking you to his room, where you walk in and see no signs of your existence, did he really want to hide you that badly.
Tsukishima sees your eyes start watering, following your eyes to see you glancing at all the pictures above his desk. None featuring you or your family, you make a mental note to ask him about that later and reprimand him in the future. Turning to Tsukishima, “Okay, I believe you for now. Next, tell me what’s on your mind because you look awful.”, paying back to him his blunt comments. “I’d prefer we don’t speak in Tadashi’s room. Seems a bit odd.”, you look around nodding. Not wanting to think about your brother at this moment, following Tsukishima to his room. Sitting next to him on his bed while he gathers all the words he rehearsed all night, fiddling with his fingers. You watch as he trips over his words the first couple of times and decide to comfort him. “Tsukishima, you won’t hurt my feelings no matter what you say. You’re my friend no matter what, I’ll harbor no hard feelings. I just want you to be truthful with me, okay?”, you see him nod.
Giving him the confidence to start living outside his mind and speak up, “I don’t regret kissing you yesterday. I regret what’s going to happen after though.”, you look at him intensely. Waiting for him to finish, knowing he’s done with his talk when he stops playing with his fingers. “I thought about it and I like you as more than a friend, I like being with you. However, when we first met Tadashi told me not to go anywhere near you, something about you being off limits.”, you feel your eye twitch. Your brother proclaimed you were off limits while he hid you like the plague. If Tsukishima wasn’t being so vulnerable right now you would’ve raced to him and scolded him. Opting to instead take a deep breath and hold all your comments for the last minute. “I’m nervous that if I get with you, I’ll be giving up my friendship with Yamaguchi.”, he stops playing with his fingers, giving you the okay to talk.
“I appreciate you being so considerate of my brother’s opinion but I’m my own person. Tadashi doesn’t own me, he can’t decide who I like and don’t. I like you too, Kei. I understand though if you don’t want to go through with this relationship if you’re sacrificing a piece of you. I’ve waited for this long, I can wait longer for someone as perfect as you Kei.”, you kiss his cheek getting up for his bed. “Let me know when you’re ready, Kei.”, you start walking to the entrance looking back at him. He nods, glad you’re giving him time to thoroughly think his decision through. He hears the door click, still feeling your lips on his cheek. He goes to lock the door and sit on the couch in silence, letting the clock pass by. Waiting for Yamaguchi to come home, as he contemplates every possible decision in his head. The good outcomes, the bad outcomes, and even the extreme ones, letting them all occupy every corner of his brain.
He hears the door click, “Tsukki, I’m home!”. Yamaguchi turns on the light, jolting when he sees Tsukishima on the couch. “What are you doing? Is this how you spend your days off?”, Tsukishima slowly looks up to where Yamaguchi is. Instead of being overtaken by nerves instead tired, tired of waiting, tired of hiding, and tired of not having you by him. “I like your sister.”, Yamaguchi laughs, waving off Tsukishima’s absurd comment. “Tsukki, did you not sleep today? You met my sister for a second a couple of months ago?”, Tsukishima gets up. Walking to Yamaguchi slowly, “Your sister and I have been seeing each other for those couple of months, secretly going on dates.”. Yamaguchi looks around before meeting Tsukishima’s eyes, “Tsukki, are you sure you're okay? My sister hasn’t mentioned you once?”.
Tsukishima nods, “I wanted to keep it a secret knowing that you said she was off limits. I came to terms the other day that I liked her, I don’t want to hide it anymore.”. Yamaguchi brows furrow because suddenly it all makes sense, from Tsukki staying out late to you ignoring his lunch dates, and the final straw the shortcake. Yamaguchi fastly paces to his bag, grabbing his phone and dialing your number. “Hello Tadashi, What’s up?”, Yamaguchi hands the phone to Tsukishima angrily. “I told him.”, you freeze hearing Kei’s voice over the phone. “Is it true? No, scratch that, why hide it from me?”, you scoff. “The same reason you hid me from your friends, Tadashi. Look, I’m at a cafe near your apartment, I’ll head over right now. Tadashi don’t do anything stupid, please.”, you hang up.
To be honest, Yamaguchi wasn’t upset at the fact you both liked each other more at the fact you both hid everything from him, did everything behind his back. Yamaguchi sits on the couch angrily tapping his feet, awaiting you to arrive. He hears a knock on his door, watching Tsukishima open the door. You smile at Tsukishima, knowing it must’ve taken a lot out of him to tell your brother. “Get in here, now.”, your brother ruins the moment as per usual. Not letting him take hold of the conversation in anger, “Stop, first I want you to calm down.”, Yamaguchi looks over at you frustratedly. “Calm down, you're seeing my best friend and hiding it from me!”, you shake your head. “I didn’t mean to go out with Tsukishima on purpose, okay? My co-worker is Akiteru, when I accepted the date I didn't know they were brothers. It was just a simple fortunate event!”. Tsukishima sees you rambling but he’s never seen you rambling quite like this, this rambling is more like the nervous kind.
Yamaguchi suddenly points at him, snapping him out of his analysis of your unseen behavior. “Speaking of Akiteru, you! You don’t see me sneaking off with your brother! Don’t you hold any form of shame?”, Tsukishima clears his throat. “I wouldn’t mind if you got with my brother because that would be my brother’s decision not mine.”, Tsukishima glances back at you. You feel your breath ease, knowing exactly what Tsukishima is hinting at. “He’s right, it’s my decision. I like Tsukishima and I want you to support me and him, together.”, Yamaguchi glares at you, reluctant to let you and Tsukki get off so easily. “You’re right, I shouldn't hold a grudge against you, you’re a grown woman. You, however, Tsukki apologize to me. This is not very best friend-like behavior.”, you scoff at Tadashi's childish behavior. “Tadashi, stop it.”, you wave away Tadashi knowing he’s just grasping at straws.
“I’m sorry Yamaguchi.”, you and Yams both look at each other than look at Tsukishima, frozen. “You’re right I should’ve told you. I was scared to lose you as a friend.”, Tadashi trips over his words before you stop him knowing Tsukishima wasn’t done talking yet. Tadashi stands there surprised that you know Tsukishima’s body language despite only knowing each other for a couple of months. “More importantly I wanted my relationship to grow with your sister first before I told you anything, I’m sorry for that.”, Tsukishima looks at you. Hoping that you see that you’ve changed his mindset a bit. Yes, he’s tenacious but he’s also pessimistic and not one to admit he’s in the wrong. With you though, he thinks he can improve those parts of himself.
“I’m asking you as my best friend, if you could support us?”, Tsukishima grabs your hand, linking it together with his. As you stumble a bit at the sudden touch but quickly recover and stand up straight. Tadashi looks at you both, nodding. “Okay but you have to name your first born Tadashi.”, you go to hug him, choosing to ignore his comment. “Can I meet the rest of your friends, properly. Start letting people know you have a sister jerk! I’m off the market now, you know so you don’t have to worry!”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes thinking how dorky you sound. You pull back to go by Tsukishima’s side. “So, you apologize now Mr. Tenacious?”, Yamaguchi looks around awkwardly. “I’m heading to my room, don’t be gross!”, you roll your eyes. “I don’t apologize for just anyone, you know.”, you laugh. “Oh, so I should feel extra special since you apologized just to be with me?”, Tsukishima smiles. “Yeah something like that.”, pulling you to him. Kissing him felt even better than last time, he felt free not being held back by secrets or thoughts, overwhelmed by the senses of you.
“Hurry up Kei, we’re already the last ones there!”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes. Not really excited to meet up with his old friends, knowing they’ll just embarrass him. Grabbing his hand and dragging him to the restaurant, “Do you think anything new has happened with Hinata and Kags?”. Tsukishima lets out a breath, “From joining the olympic team, I don’t think so? They just have more of a reason to lose more brain cells over volleyball.”. You smile, “You have to be nice, Stingyshima.”. Tsukishima looks at you in disbelief, “Not you too. See, this is why I was reluctant to meet them. You’re going to start with the name calling.”, you kiss his cheek. “At least I mean it in a loving way, now stop sulking and let’s have some fun.”
Tsukishima and you enter, being greeted by your brother and Yachi first, then making your way to Hinata and Kageyama. Watching as Kageyama and Tsukishima have a weird stare off, Hinata and you laugh at how awkward the two could be. “Hinata, have you learned any new tricks?”, you glare at him excitedly. “Oh nothing too new, Kageyama and I just have to rework our quick but that’ll come naturally.”, you smile excited to see the two work together again.
Tsukishima sits next to you, grabbing your hand under the table. “Don’t worry, these freaks will have their quick down easily. It’s like second nature to them.”, Tsukishima adds slyly. Riling up the pair, “Damn it, Tsukishima.”, Hinata adds. You squeeze Kei’s hand letting him know to cut it out. To which he deflates, knowing he got caught. “What about you Yachi? Design anything new lately?”, she nods. “I designed a new ad to help support the Sendai Frogs actually.”, she pulls out her phone showing the picture to everyone. “Wow, Yachi, this is great!”, you look over the poster and see how it highlights everyone on the team.
“Your teammates look great on this Kei.”, you feel him glare at you. “You’re giving them too much credit.”, you smile. “Yachi, we should talk to our management and maybe get you to design something for the olympic team!”, you fall back watching the conversation flow. Your brother was grateful to have such good friends and you were grateful to now be a part of their group too. Taking a look around, feeling comfort in the conversation, Tsukishima lays his head on your shoulder. The conversation falls silent, “Has Tsukki gone soft?”, Tsukishima looks over. “Shut up Yamaguchi.”
divider credit to @/saradika-graphics, @/thecutestgrotto, @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @/princessantisocial
taglist: @0tsukie
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ melon's marginalia: happy (late) birthday to my pookie pie! i’m kind of on the fence with how this turned out but i’m a tsukishima girly like nothing is ever perfect, okay? ty for reading!! ♡
@m3l0nfl0at on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#haikyu#hq#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima angst#anime x reader#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x y/n#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukki
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the notebook theory (tsukishima kei x reader)
masterlist | ao3
Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader
Summary: Kei has a cynical and jaded outlook on love. When his friend Tadashi figures out that Kei has feelings for you, Kei isn’t sure how to react. After all, love is not something he does but rather, something that happens to him.
"There’s a notebook that Kei likes on his desk. No matter what he does, nothing is good enough to put a permanent mark into the thing. Even if he used a pencil, Kei feels like the evidence of the mark would still be there even after erasing it, a molecular change that can’t be seen with the naked eye. Kei calls it the notebook theory.
He thinks that might be what’s happening to him. A molecular change, imperceivable to someone not looking at him under a microscope. It’s like his DNA is being rewritten and stitched together with bright pink yarn. He feels himself steadily come apart and come together. It’s uncomfortable, like trying to dream when he has a fever. Kei is nearly certain that you’re the reason."
Content Warnings: fem!reader (gender neutral pronouns), no real manga spoilers, slow burn, one-sided pining, angst, mentions of divorce and broken homes, toxic relationship (kei's parents), smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), pinching, mentions of mark making, overstimulation (m!receiving), multiple orgasms, hair-pulling
Word Count: 24.8k
A/N: i know i spent forever working on this but it's finally done and while i have a lot of thoughts about it, idk rly what to say. anyway, here's my first attempt at a tsukishima long fic. also i already know that im not beating the tsukkiyama allegations, okay? i tried and failed to beat them okay i just think there is no way to put them in a situation without it being a little homoerotic bc.. they r them okay? anyway, i hope u enjoy and would love to hear ur thoughts <3
The morning comes without warning. Kei thinks he’s read that somewhere, though he’s just sure just where he saw it. He also thinks that whoever said that is right. Morning is always a harsh assault and never as gentle as people describe it to be.
Kei’s room, the one he rents at university, faces toward the east. In the mornings, when the sun peeks over the horizon, it shines directly into his room and onto his bed before creeping across the light wood floors. His blinds, as useful as they are, always let some through the cracks and the light cuts the ground like butter to a knife. Kei doesn’t think it feels half as romantic as it sounds.
The light works better than his alarm. No matter how set he is on sleeping in, he never fails to wake up as soon as those slats of light make their way across his bedspread. It wakes him like fever and he’s never quite as comfortable as he felt falling asleep. This morning is no different.
He rises like he always has, running a hand over his blonde hair and dragging it down his face after sitting up. Then, he stands once in an attempt to gather his bearings before sitting right back down on the edge of the bed. He fights the lingering remnants of sleep, feeling the ray of sunlight beat down on his back. Then, he reaches towards his glasses on the nightstand and slides them up the bridge of his long nose before standing up again once and for all.
Yamaguchi lives in the other room. His best friend since high school, perhaps his only real friend. They’d miraculously attended the same college and decided to room together, though his other friends from his youth aren’t too far. The arrangement managed to make it all the way until their fourth and final year. Living with each other has become par for the course.
Tadashi wakes up later than Kei does on most days, except for Tuesdays and Thursdays. On those days, he has an 8 am and is usually in the kitchen before Kei has even stood up for the first time. Today is a Wednesday, so Yamaguchi is asleep in his room. The morning light doesn’t wake him the same way it does Kei. His room faces west, so it isn’t until the mid-afternoon, when Tadashi is chased from his room by the afternoon rays and heat, that he notices the sun on its blinding conquest across the sky.
Kei’s room is clean and neat. There’s no clutter, no collection of items that don’t have a proper place. Everything is itemized and stored exactly where he intends for them to be. His floor is void of stray clothes, of socks he’d discarded the night before, his nightstand is bare and his desk is surprisingly empty save for one notebook sitting in its center. It’s a room that he could leave at any time, despite living here for nearly two years. If Kei chose to do so, he could pack his things and be gone in a day.
Yamaguchi’s room is different. It’s lived in and well worn. There’s clutter on the floor, socks and pants he’d taken and tossed away to be dealt with later. Certain things don’t have a place and end up living on semi-crowded surfaces filled with things he likes to put down as quickly as he’d picked them up. Kei envies that way of living. A non-temporary way. He envies the rug in Yamaguchi’s room and the way he fills the space with himself. Kei thinks that even after they’re long gone, future tenants would still be able to feel Tadashi’s presence.
To say that Kei is cynical would be accurate. He tends to lean more towards paranoia in his own strange way. He keeps things in order to quell the anxiety in it. Things stay where they are meant to be. As a result, he’s earned himself somewhat of an uptight attitude that makes Kei feel more awkward than relaxed even when he’s in his own spaces. Not that he minds it.
Tadashi’s dish from last night is sitting next to the sink. Kei moves around it as he fixes a tea, making an effort not to drag his feet across the floor because he hates the scuffing sound. Every now and then, the glass of his mug will clink against the cheap kitchen tile and Kei will cringe in some paranoid worry that it will wake his friend.
As he gathers his things to leave the quiet apartment, Kei wonders where his cynicism comes from. He’s sure he could pinpoint it if he tried. His parents divorce, his previous experiences with dating that have left him jaded, the holes that wore even in his most sturdy of sweaters. Inconsequential nothings that piled up until Kei had developed an undeniably cautious outlook on the world. To him, all of these things are the same. Like the morning, they’re intrusive and unsightly, but none is less important than the other.
Kei does have things he likes. Art, for one. He likes paintings, sculptures, little pieces of history, and all of the things people make with their hands that he could never do. Kei is hopeless at crafts. His fingers are lithe and long, but they’re clumsy and hard to control. Despite his need for order, Kei has trouble controlling his urges. The subtle twitches of his fingers always mess up whatever it is he’s trying to craft.
He likes writing best of all, specifically curatorial writing. It’s easy for him to pick which pieces belong together and how to organize them in a space, it suits his talent for compartmentalizing. Kei gets to tell a story that way, be it historical or artistic, sometimes both. The essays that his classmates find tedious, he finds relaxing despite the stress. For him, writing about art and history is a pleasure much like sipping tea that is the perfect temperature, unintrusive and natural.
By the time he arrives at the library, it’s nearly 9 am. He works better here, in the quiet section at a table hidden by three tall shelves of books. It’s almost never occupied and there are hardly ever people seated in the immediate area. Kei doesn’t go out of his way to avoid others, but he finds that if he doesn’t approach people, they often won’t approach him. He prefers things this way, it makes the good and bad people easier to weed out.
From this spot in the library, Kei can see where you usually set up shop for the day. You arrive after him by about 45 minutes and he convinces himself that it is always coincidental.
Strictly speaking, you’re Tadashi’s friend, not his. You’ve known each other for a little under a year and have been by the apartment a few times, but yours and his conversations are limited entirely to pleasantries. How are you? What are you working on? We’re graduating soon, huh? Casual conversation that Kei can weasel his way out of at any time. Like his room, it’s impermanent.
Kei has had the idea that nothing stays stuck in his head since middle school. The house he lived in when his parents were together, weekdays with his mother and weekends with his father, graduating seniors, the apartment he lives in now. To Kei, all of it is so temporary that he finds it difficult to get attached to it, not that he’s devoid of emotion. He quite loves the little things he has, but his grip on them is loose and half-hearted. Whatever leaves, Kei thinks is meant to leave, so he makes no effort to hold on.
It’s probably unfair to think of you that way, but Kei can’t really help it. He can’t change what he is. Besides, it’s not as if he doesn’t have a reason to think so. He’s often approached by people for his looks, people who want to get close because they think he’s tall and handsome, people who collect others like trophies. He’s not heartless, so he’s been hurt more than a few times. Kei thinks he owes it to himself to be cautious, not that you’ve done anything to earn that type of subtle hostility.
“Thought you might be here,” someone’s hand lands on his shoulder.
“Shit,” he groans, “is it that late already?”
Kei glances down at the watch on his wrist, reading the time as just past 10:45 am. He’s been here for an hour and 45 minutes and hasn’t gotten anything done. Tadashi pulls the chair next to him out and sits down, resting his chin on his hand.
“Spacing out?”
“A little,” Kei responds, tapping his pen against the table and turning back toward his book.
“Got something due?”
“Yeah, on Friday,” he exhales. “Haven’t started it yet though. You?”
“Nah,” Tadashi smiles. “I’m just chasing you around.”
“You’re like a girl with a crush.”
Tadashi shrugs and lets out a good natured laugh. It’s a little too loud for this part of the library, but Kei lets it slide, smiling with his friend.
Tadashi is the opposite of him, he thinks. He smiles often and says exactly what’s on his mind when it crosses it, even if it's a little mean. Tadashi used to be a follower, but in his final year of high school and university years, grew into someone befitting of his somewhat sunny and sarcastic personality. Thoughts and words come easily to him and he has no trouble vocalizing his joy or his disappointment.
Yamaguchi has freckles covering the entirety of his body. Kei knows this because he’s seen far more of Tadashi than he thinks he should have. His skin is tawny and warm like him. Kei finds himself looking at the ones on his hands as Yamaguchi begins to write in his notebook. Kei can’t read his handwriting because it’s terrible and he doesn’t much feel like working on his own project, so he watches his friend’s hand mark the page. Then, his gaze slinks across the library to you.
You’ve got your head down and look like you’re falling asleep despite it only being 11 in the morning. Your hand moves lazily across your computer keypad. By the time Kei realizes that you’ve spotted him staring, it’s too late to look away. His gaze was too intentional, so he smiles at you instead, nodding his head a little.
You smile and wave, standing from where you sit and collecting your things. They fill up your arms because you don’t bother to put them in your bag, making your way clumsily across the room and setting your stuff down across from him.
“Hi, Tsukishima,” you smile. “Hi, Tadashi.”
You use his friend’s given name and Kei feels a pang of jealousy hit his chest.
“How long have you been here? I didn’t see you,” you ask, settling into the seat across from Kei.
“I just got here,” Tadashi smiles, looking up from his notes. “He’s been here for a while though.”
Tadashi motions towards him.
“Aw, why didn’t you say hi?”
“You seemed busy,” Kei lies.
You pout, filling your mouth with air. “Next time just come say hi, ‘kay?”
“Sure,” Kei nods.
Tadashi tosses him a sideways glance and Kei shrugs it off. He’s not interested in being teased this morning, though when is he ever.
Kei doesn’t like the way you make him feel. When you’re around, he becomes prickly. It sets Kei on edge in a way that he hates. His world, previously so rigid and organized, quickly begins to feel cluttered and structureless.
You make his heart pound. You make it hammer against his chest so hard that he can feel it in his ears and behind his eyes. It goes all the way down to his already-hard-to-control fingertips and the tops of his thighs. A previously pastel colored world goes vibrantly candy-colored like it’s been plunged in saturating liquid. He nevers knows how to hold himself, never knows how to act natural. What does it mean to act natural, anyway? How should he rest his hands on the desk? Would it be weird to lace them together? Does he look as stiff as he feels? It’s entirely possible that he is suffering a massive heart attack.
You whisper across the table to Tadashi, leaning forward and laughing at something he’s written in his notebook. You can read his handwriting, something Kei is equally jealous about as he is angry. Kei just watches your conversation, unable to really listen into it on account of the stroke that he thinks he’s having.
The three of you stay like this for a while, earning the occasional irritated whisper or dirty look from some of the more studious people in the library. Kei pretends to ignore them, remaining quiet throughout the duration of your study session with Tadashi. His quiet corner is invaded and painted bright pink with your presence and he doesn’t know whether to feel giddy or irrationally angry. Maybe it’s both.
“Crap, is that the time?” Tadashi exclaims, hunching over himself when someone nearby shushes him. “I’ve got class across campus in 10 minutes.”
He hurriedly collects his things. Tadashi does it so fast, in fact, that Kei hardly has time to beg him not to leave him alone with you. So he just watches as Tadashi throws his things clumsily into his bag and tosses it over his shoulder.
“Bye, ___,” he says in a rushed whisper. “I’ll see you at home, Kei!”
“Sure,” is all that Kei can muster. His voice cracks when he says it and he immediately avoids looking at you and stares at nothing in particular in his textbook.
It’s quiet for a while. Kei pretends to busy himself by glancing between his textbook and his computer and you sit with your head bowed as you take notes on a lecture you’re listening to through the single earbud in your right ear. Then, you tap the end of your pen lightly on Kei’s notebook to get his attention.
It’s only been about 10 minutes since Tadashi left, but the library now feels like an entirely different place. His heart pounds as he struggles to keep a straight face.
When he looks up, you’re looking at him with a tilted head. Your expression is soft and unintrusive, friendly but a bit guarded. You smile softly at him.
“You don’t like me very much, do you?” You ask gently. It doesn’t sound accusatory, but rather a casual statement tinged with friendliness.
“Huh?” Blood rushes into his ears.
“I just kinda get the impression that you’re uncomfortable around me,” you say. “Am I wrong?”
“Uh, no- it’s not that I don’t like you.”
He’s quick to correct you and he feels heat rush to his cheeks.
“Then what?” you question lightly. There’s no ulterior motive behind your smile, Kei can tell, but your openness makes him uneasy.
“I dunno,” he calms himself a little. “I don’t really know how to act around you, I guess.”
You laugh, leaning back into your chair. “Is that all?”
“Well, yeah…” he feels awkward and his palms are sweaty. He drops them below the table to wipe them. “You’re Tadashi’s friend and I’m pretty different from him so I just…” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders.
“I was worried you hated me,” you smile, chuckling to yourself.
“That’s definitely not it,” he loosens a little, smiling lightly despite the thudding of his heart. It slows down steadily.
“I’m your friend too, ya know?”
“That so?”
“Well, yeah,” you shrug and lean all the way back, crossing your arms. “I just kinda figured that we would be.”
“Friends?” His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. His word placement is awkward.
“Duh,” you laugh a little. “You know, you don’t have to speak formally with me.”
“That’s just the way I am,” he huffs at being read.
“Well, you can drop them with me. I don’t mind.”
“Tall order,” he snorts.
You tilt your head to the side. “Did you just make a joke?”
“Uh, yeah…”
“Funny,” you smile. “What are you studying?”
“It’s not really studying…” he says, glancing down at the near empty document. “I’m supposed to be writing an essay I have due on Friday. Not going well.”
He looks up at you through his lashes. You’re leaning forward across the table now, your chin angled upward as you try and peek at what’s on his screen. He turns it so that you can see better.
“Baroque art?” You read aloud. “Oh yeah, Tadashi mentioned that you’re an art history major. Do you draw too?”
“No,” he scoffs. “I’m hopeless at it, but I like art. It’s nice to look at.”
“Huh, you look like you’d be good at drawing,” you say.
“What’s that mean?”
“I dunno, like a manga author or something,” you shrug. “You’ve got nice hands too. Like an artist.”
“Manga?” He laughs a little, trying to play off the color he feels rushing to his face from the compliment.
“Yeah, you look like the manga type.”
“Is it the glasses?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Maybe,” you laugh.
Kei looks down at his hands. They’re big, like the rest of him, and his knuckles are thin. He’s hyper-aware of them now that you’ve complimented them. He studies them briefly, following the barely visible veins up the back of them, following the line of his fingers to his nails. They’re trimmed and somewhat well kept, save for the spots that he tends to bite at when he lays in bed at night. His hands look nothing like Tadashi’s. Tadashi’s fingers are thick and his nails are short on account of him biting them. Kei wonders if you prefer them to his.
—
There’s a notebook that Kei likes on his desk. It’s only a bit bigger than his fist—a little thing, really—and it’s completely blank. Kei’s never written anything down in it, nothing has ever really been worth sullying the thing. It’s got brown fabric binding and a semi-thick cover. It’s malleable, but not so flimsy that he’d need a desk to write in it.
Kei’s not too sure why he bought it in the first place. Maybe he liked the size of it, small enough to fit in his pocket, but not so small as to be ridiculous. It’s practical, much like he is. He’s considered turning it into a daily planner and putting to-do lists in it, but Kei isn’t much of a list guy, it’s Tadashi that likes making lists. Nothing has ever really felt like it suits the book. He’s considered journaling in it, but his life is one big routine and he doesn’t think there’s anything worth writing about.
No matter what he does, nothing is good enough to put a permanent mark into the thing. Even if he used a pencil, Kei feels like the evidence of the mark would still be there even after erasing it, a molecular change that can’t be seen with the naked eye. Kei calls it the notebook theory.
He thinks that might be what’s happening to him. A molecular change, imperceivable to someone not looking at him under a microscope. It’s like his DNA is being rewritten and stitched together with bright pink yarn. He feels himself steadily come apart and come together. It’s uncomfortable, like trying to dream when he has a fever.
Kei is nearly certain that you’re the reason, not that he’s about to admit to anyone else that he likes you. Tadashi managed to weasel it out of him, though he didn’t really have to ask. In fact, it was less of an admittance to Kei than it was confirmation of his own feelings. If Tadashi can tell that he likes you, then he must.
People seem to know things about Kei before he even knows them himself. At least, that’s how it seems. He’s always confronted with his own feelings by other people, not that they’re really ever wrong, but it seems everyone catches onto what he’s feeling rather quickly. He’s not too sure why that is, maybe he’s just obvious and hasn’t realized it.
Come to think of it, when Tadashi had confronted Kei about his feelings for you, he’d been deeply annoying about it. Kei couldn’t even try to deny it because Tadashi had come out with his guns blazing, cornering him in the living room and throwing facts about you at him until his face was beet red with embarrassment. Then, with a serious frown on his face, he’d simply stated you like them and that was the end of it. Kei couldn’t even deny it. Even he knew that it read plainly in his expression.
To be frank, it sucks being told in plain speech how he feels about someone. Whenever that happens, it makes Kei feel like he’ll never be able to keep another secret in his life. Sometimes, he wishes that he was able to make the decision to tell someone else on his own, but even Kei knows that that is a little beyond him. Kei can think the feelings just fine, but when it comes to speaking them aloud, he seems to have a padlock around his throat.
Tadashi knows this about him and if it weren’t for him, Kei would have agonized far longer and far worse over certain situations of emotional turmoil. Most of the time, Tadashi gets it without needing to ask or say anything. It’s nice to have someone understand him in that way, even if it does mean he can’t keep a secret to save his life.
Feelings lately make Kei a little angry. He’s always known that he’s had somewhat of a sour personality. Kei doesn’t need to be told that he’s smug to know that he is. He’s snarky and usually touchy, picky about the people that he hangs out with. It’s not really a secret that Kei is a hard person to get along with, but lately, he feels like it’s been worse.
Maybe it’s because this is new territory to him. As conceited as it sounds, Kei has never liked someone first. It’s not because he doesn’t think anyone is worthy, but rather, because there are very few people he doesn’t find grating. Despite how he seems, Kei is incredibly sensitive about things, so naturally, it’s easier to get on his nerves.
He’s dated before, though not for long, and all of his relationships have started the same way. Kei is approached by them, usually on the premise of looks, and he accepts. He’s not sure why he does. Sometimes it’s because he thinks they’re pretty, other times it’s because the romantic in him hopes that it will actually work out. It never has.
Most of the time, Kei turns out to be different than they expected. He’s too touchy, too sarcastic, too awkward in his way of trying to love. To Kei, it has always felt like it’s ended just as he was beginning to develop real feelings.
If he’s being honest, it’s given him a twisted inferiority complex. He’s worried that somehow, on a fundamental level, he’s not enough. Sometimes, it even goes so far as for Kei to think that he’s just generally disappointing. He tries not to be. Kei wants to be relied on. He wants to be someone his friends can go to when they need something sturdy.
Despite his personality, Kei considers himself sturdy. Well, maybe stubborn is a better word. Kei considers himself stubborn enough to be made sturdy. He’s just a little awkward. That’s all. People seem to mistake that for being unreliable. It’s a peeve of Kei’s.
Tadashi isn’t like that. Tadashi is bright and warm, reliable in every sense of the word. Kei actually looks up to him a lot, not that he’d ever say anything like that to his face. Sure, Tadashi’s not perfect, but at least people rely on him. At least Kei relies on him.
Tadashi is more easy going than Kei is. He has an easier time going with the flow, which makes him more personable. Kei thinks that Tadashi is the closest thing that he’s had to a better half. In truth, without Tadashi around, Kei isn’t exactly sure what would have become of him.
It’s pointless thinking about these sorts of things though. Kei realized a long time ago that thinking about being better won’t automatically make him better. This is just the way he is and Kei’s learned to accept that, whatever it means. Still, none of this changes the fact that he likes you.
Kei could mull over thought after thought and he doesn’t think it would have any effect on the fact that he’s definitely developed a crush. He’s positive it will go away. In fact, he’s not even sure if it’s real. Maybe Kei is just jealous of you the same way he’s jealous of Tadashi. You’re bright and warm like he is. You and Tadashi are cut from the same cloth, so maybe that’s why the two of you get along so well.
In all honesty, Kei wishes he could be a little more like Tadashi for that reason. Maybe if he were more like Tadashi, he’d have the courage to fully accept these new and uncertain feelings for what they are. But he doesn’t have that kind of courage, not right now at least. He doesn’t have the courage to solidify and lean into his feelings. Kei doesn’t want to risk what little comfort and security he has. If the relationship between you both is a blank page, Kei doesn’t have anything important to write. What if it ruins the paper? What if when he erases it, it changes the thing on a molecular level for the worse? The notebook theory.
—
Despite everything, Kei is rather self-aware. At least in his own head he is. Kei knows that when he pretends he doesn’t like you, he really ends up liking you more. He knows that he’s touchy, that he’s awkward, that he comes across more crass than he intends to. Kei is clumsy, not stupid. That doesn’t mean that he has to acknowledge it.
You’ve been coming around more often since the conversation Kei had with you in the library. Maybe you’re more comfortable now knowing that he doesn’t hate you, so you’re happier to join Tadashi in their shared apartment.
Kei feels bad about making you think that he hates you. Actually, he feels really bad about it. Like, astronomically bad about it. Embarrassingly enough, it actually keeps him up at night. So he goes out of his way to be a little nicer to you. The only other person he’s ever done that for is Tadashi.
He greets you properly when you pass, despite the flare up of a medical condition he’s yet to fully diagnose brought on by your presence. He asks you questions about your studies, partially because he is genuinely curious and partially because he doesn’t want you to hate him. He thinks he’d die if you hated him. Kei’s being brave in his own way. It’s little, but he’s doing it.
As a result, the two of you have grown a little closer. Kei has your phone number now, though he rarely has any reason to text you. Typing out a message to you makes him nervous. It makes him red in the face when you’re not even there. Somehow, having your phone number feels vulnerable to him, like he has access to you whenever he wants and you him. It means that if you wanted, you could make him nervous without even being nearby. That’s a lot for Kei to think about.
Kei sees you in the library sometimes too, but he never takes the initiative to speak to you. You always come up to him first, clumsily gathering your things the way you did the day you and him sorted out your friendship and plopping them down in front of him.
Sometimes, you both go several hours without saying anything to each other. Other times, you’ll chat away about something while leaning forward on the desk and Kei has to pretend that he’s not wildly nervous at your proximity. You’re so friendly. So genuinely warm that Kei can physically feel it when you talk. Despite his nerves, Kei would describe you as comfortable. You’re a comfortable person to him, as alarming as that is.
His crush is out of hand. It scares him, not that he’s actively thought about that. What started as him noticing you has quickly ballooned into him being painfully aware of you at all times. He kind of feels bad about it. You don’t seem to think that he’s anything more than a friend and it makes Kei feel bad that he thinks of you as anything but that. He doesn’t want you to be just a crush to him. Kei wants you to be like Tadashi, someone he can rely on and be comfortable with. He almost feels like he’s reversed what’s been done to him his whole life, like somehow he’s only become your friend because he wants something more.
Truth is though, he doesn’t want anything more. Kei wants to stay exactly where he is. He doesn’t want his crush to develop any further. He doesn’t want to confess, he wants to forget. Even now, sitting on a couch in the library, he wants to imagine he doesn’t feel anything at all for you.
“Hey, are you okay?” You tilt your head at him.
“Huh? Me?” He questions. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You seem a little distracted,” you smile. “You’ve been staring at your computer for like… 10 minutes with this blank look on your face.”
“You’ve been staring at me for 10 minutes?” He raises an eyebrow, trying to play off the embarrassment of being caught like that.
“Not staring at you,” you huff, “but I definitely noticed.”
“Ha, creep,” he tilts his head up a little, blowing air out of his nose.
“You’re twisted, you know?”
“Whatever,” he shrugs his shoulders and looks back at his computer screen. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you shake your head and smile before looking down at your work.
Tadashi has said the same exact thing to him before. In highschool, after Kei had made a joke about his teammate Hinata’s height, Tadashi had given him a look and snorted that he’s so twisted. He’s been hearing that sort of thing his entire life.
“Hey, are you cool if I skip out of here early?” You ask a few moments later.
“Oh, yeah sure. I don’t mind,” he nods, hiding his disappointment. “I didn’t realize that we had like… set times to be here.”
You laugh lightly. “Well, we don’t, but we tend to come and go at the same time, no? I kinda look forward to it.”
Kei envies your honesty. You’re so honest all of the time. You say what you feel when it pops into your head. He wishes he could be like that, maybe then he would be able to say that he does too. Instead, he just nods and swallows his heart back down. You smile at him again and then gather your things.
“You’ll be home on Friday night, right?”
“Uhm, yeah? Why?”
“Tadashi invited me and a few friends over, did he tell you?”
“I think he mentioned it.” Kei has actually been thinking about it for the last couple days.
“Good, I’ll see you, right?”
“Yeah, you will.”
“Great, talk to you later then!” You smile and with that, you walk away.
You sounded so certain in that statement. Talk to you later. You said it like it was inevitable. Thinking about that, Kei can’t help but watch you go. He even likes looking at the back of you, though he wishes he could see your face too. It feels worse to be walked away from than walked towards.
Kei can’t tell anymore if what he feels is romance or jealousy. It’s probably both. It’s probably some mix of the two that he can’t quite sort out. He wishes it weren’t that way. Kei gets the feeling that he might be ruined.
So he just watched you leave the library. Someone is waiting for you at the top of the stairwell. Kei can tell they’re a guy and despite the reluctance of his feelings, his stomach drops anyway when you nudge his shoulder with yours and loop your arm around his. That’s something you haven’t done to Kei before. Touch him. You touch this other person so easily. It makes Kei jealous.
It makes sense that you might be seeing someone, that there might be someone else. After all, you’re you. Desirable. You look up at the stranger, leaning on him, smiling and flashing your teeth. Yeah, it makes sense.
Turns out, it’s easier to pretend that he doesn’t feel anything when he thinks you’re interested in someone else. He likes to think it will save him the time of wondering.
—
Kei has cleaned his room approximately four times today. Sure, it’s overboard, but every time he goes into it, he notices something else that needs to be spruced up. Like a pot with a leak, there is always something that he seemed to miss the last time he went through and cleaned up.
It’s not like you’ll be in his room tonight anyway, but you will be in his apartment and that’s close enough to his room that he, for whatever reason, needs to make it so spotless that it looks like a set. Kei knows though, that even when you’re here, he’ll be wondering if there’s something else that he missed beyond the closed door and he’ll think about it incessantly.
He’s been avoiding the thought of him liking you. Instead, Kei cleans and cleans and then cleans some more for good measure. It’s not like he has any sort of claim on you and he knows that it’s stupid to feel jealous over one interaction he witnessed by chance, but his mind is running away with him. Was that person your boyfriend? Has he been begrudgingly pining over a taken person all these months? Do you think that he’s creepy because of it?
He doesn’t get to be upset over the idea that you’re seeing someone else. Why wouldn’t you be? Kei’s done absolutely nothing to indicate his interest in you (or lack thereof), besides maybe telling you that he doesn’t hate you. He has no right to feel the way he does, but he spirals anyway. His insecurities, the ones that gnaw at him in the hours before he falls asleep, play in a constant loop in his head. His unreliability, his unpleasant personality, his cynicism, the baggage he carries with him like a badge. All of it piles up one by one.
Kei feels like a kid again, losing himself over such a simple interaction, over something so miniscule that it might not even be considered anything at all. There are a plethora of reasons for his feeling like this and Kei thinks he could draw one of his issues out of a hat and it would still somehow address the situation at hand, but all he really feels is hurt and he doesn’t want to explain it away. Kei finds that liking someone hurts. It hurts more than it feels good and the uncertainty chews at his patience and leaves it razor thin. It’s not your fault, nor is it the person Kei’s convinced himself you’re seeing, but he needs someone to blame and it can’t be himself.
The idea of you relying on someone else makes him nauseous. He’d never considered the thought before, that you find him as unreliable as others do. Kei wants to be relied on, most of all by you, and that fact makes him upset. He’s afraid of what you think of him and without the confidence to accept his feelings, it threatens to crush him.
Kei’s got this itch over it, so he tries to distract himself. Cleaning his space to prepare for you helps him delude himself that he doesn’t quite like you at all. It’s not your fault. He’s just confused, like his parents were when they married each other. It hurts. Like they were when they had him to try and fix their marriage, which had started to fall apart even when Akiteru was an only child. He’s confused. He’s jealous over your ability to live the way Kei has always wanted to. That’s all this is. Nothing more and nothing less. He feels like he’s being split in two, stretched thin between two modes of thinking.
Kei glances over his shoulder and into his room one last time. He’s forgotten to wipe the mirror. He goes back in and the cycle starts itself over.
—
He’s not proud of his behavior. Kei thinks only a seriously huge asshole would be proud of the kind of behavior he displayed tonight. He regrets it immensely, though some part of him is begrudgingly holding onto the idea that maybe he was right to be so short tempered. Of course, that’s a lunatic’s idea.
Tadashi is standing by the apartment door, mumbling something to you behind it. Over Tadashi’s shoulder, he sees you shake your head and in response, Tadashi gives a small bow before shutting the door to the shared apartment. Then, Tadashi turns and walks towards him.
Kei doesn’t want to look at him, but Tadashi, for some reason, commands his gaze.
“Is there a reason you were such a huge cunt tonight?” Tadashi sort of spits the words. They land at Kei’s feet and roll around before settling.
“What are you talking about? I was normal,” he answers, though the statement sounds like a lie the moment it leaves his lips.
“Bullshit,” Tadashi says. “You were being an asshole the second they walked through the door and you’ve been one to me all day.”
Kei scoffs, his cheeks burning, “I’ve just been tired, dude. Besides, what does it matter? You’re closer to all of them than I am.”
“What? You’re tired so you just get to be a huge asshole?”
“No,” Kei responds.
“So then what was that?”
Kei doesn’t really know. He doesn’t know what prompted him to act so cold or make such snide comments. It’s true, he’d been in a bad mood all day and he knows that Tadashi has borne the brunt of his misplaced emotions, but even Kei is confused as to why he’d acted the way he did. Still though, there is a part of him that knows that it was connected to his spiraling and what he saw in the library. He’d sound insane if he said it out loud, like somehow his growth was stunted in the third grade, but Kei is sure it had something to do with liking you and the hurt that comes with it.
It’s not as if he’d been outwardly mean, but he had been cold. There are parts of himself that Kei doesn’t want you to see, sections of his personality that he ropes off from you because despite not liking you, he wants you to see the best in him. Tonight, he managed to somehow show off the worst.
It started with the noise when everyone had arrived. You, Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, Kiyoko, and Yachi had all piled into the apartment in one large group. Kei’d been sitting on the couch and the sound of the door startled him right off the bat. He assumed that by the time they all had rounded the corner into the living room, his face was already sour, because everyone had greeted him cautiously.
It’s no surprise that everyone was so loud. Kei has known this particular group for many years and they, having all gone to school or work nearby, pile into his apartment often for events like these. You were really the only new factor in all of it and while Kei is known as a touchy person, he certainly was more touchy than usual tonight.
You’d been trying to talk to him all evening and Kei, in a desperate attempt to avoid whatever lingering feelings he had for you, had been shutting you down at every turn. Thinking back on it, he’s endlessly embarrassed. You didn’t deserve that. You’d been nothing but kind to him and there Kei was holding a grudge over you for something he had no right to be angry about whatsoever. He had been holding a grudge over something that he’d learned later that evening that wasn’t even true.
Kei thinks that what Tadashi is referring to, was deliberately picking a fight with Tanaka. Kei and Tanaka have never been particularly close. Even in high school, his boisterous and somewhat obnoxious personality has always rubbed Kei the wrong way. Despite that, Tanaka has somehow managed to maintain a connection to him through university and the two of them have established a tentative but honest friendship.
You had been sitting on the arm of the couch beside Tanaka, leaning over him to look at something he was showing you on his phone. Then, you laughed a little too hard and Kei felt that familiar sense of injustice rise to his throat, thick and heavy. It’s an ugly feeling, the kind that makes Kei feel sick when he’s in bed late at night. Bile rose in his throat in the form of harsh words. Jealousy in the form of the verbal venom Kei excels at.
For Kei, Tanaka was an easy target, someone he could poke at and get a satisfying rise out of. In the moment, the rise he’d gotten from Tanaka by making snide comments about the volume of his voice and his particular obsession with pretty girls had been exactly that, satisfying.
He’d picked a small fight. Nothing physical, but just enough to get him irritated. Kei’s not proud of it, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t done it deliberately. After all, Tanaka has never been the type to be the bigger person and turn his nose up.
Sometimes, when Kei is experiencing emotions he’d rather not deal with, he decides to obsess over one single thing. Usually, it’s cleaning or schoolwork. Tonight, it happened to be the volume of Tanaka’s voice, which he knows was a shitty thing to do. Despite wanting to be reliable, Kei can’t help but feel that he was endlessly immature, lashing out at someone completely unrelated to the situation just because he could.
Tadashi pulls him from his thoughts.
“I thought you liked them, dude,” his voice is even, letting up on the anger.
“Who?” Kei plays dumb.
Tadashi responds with your name and Kei stiffens slightly. “I thought you guys had gotten closer. What happened?”
“Nothing happened,” Kei says. It’s the truth. Absolutely nothing happened. Kei had spiraled all on his own.
“Why did you ignore them then?”
“I didn’t ignore them,” Kei says. Again, it’s not a lie. He may have shut conversations down and been a little cold, but Kei couldn’t ignore you if he tried, it’s sort of the whole problem he’s dealing with now.
“Maybe, but you were cold. Like… needlessly.”
“I was fucking normal, Tadashi. You should know me well enough by now to know that,” Kei spits.
“That’s the problem though, isn’t it? I know you and I know that shit wasn’t normal. You’re twisted, but you’re not an outright asshole, Kei. What’s going on?”
“I was normal, Tadashi. Just because I didn’t bounce around or get rowdy, doesn’t mean that something is wrong,” Kei answers.
“Yeah, but you were like… majorly fucking weird, Kei. You were being an asshole. Don’t you like them? Don’t you want to be nice to them?”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t want to be nice to them?” Tadashi scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“No, not that. I don’t like them like that anymore,” Kei lies.
“Oh please, that’s such horseshit,” Tadashi laughs bitterly.
“Get off my ass, Tadashi. I don’t fucking feel that way about them anymore,” Kei insists.
“Did something happen?”
“No, literally nothing happened! Why does something have to happen? I just don’t like them,” Kei feels himself getting indignant. Tadashi doesn’t deserve this either, but he seems to be indiscriminate with his poor behavior tonight.
Tadashi looks at Kei for a moment, studying him and calculating all of the things only Tadashi could know about him. Kei tries to hide it.
“Jesus, Kei, you’ve got to stop doing this shit,” Tadashi touches his hand to his forehead.
“Doing what?”
“Getting all in your head about every single connection you’ve ever had with a person,” Tadashi raises his voice.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ve seen you do this a million times! You start to really feel something for a person and then you fucking back away like a dog with its tail between its legs!”
“I don’t do that!”
“Yes, you do! You sabotage yourself until the other person is forced to do something about it!” Tadashi exhales.
“I’ve never done that deliberately! What does someone else’s actions have to do with me?”
“It doesn’t have to do with you,” Tadashi says, “It has to do with your parents.”
The wind is knocked out of Kei, air sucked from his lungs. He furrows his eyebrows at Tadashi, his mouth slightly open.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Tadashi pushes, angry and trying to make him listen. “Not every relationship is like your parents’, Kei.”
Tadashi knows he’s stepped over the line the moment he says it. If it hadn’t registered before, it registers clearly on his face now, regret settling over Tadashi’s usually bright features. Kei gapes at him for a moment, running through his thoughts and trying to pick out one that best verbalizes what it is he feels. Kei comes up empty.
“Shit-” Tadashi starts towards him. “Kei, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I’m just pissed off I didn’t mean to-”
Kei pushes past him. “Tadashi, I know you mean well, but don’t try to tell me about my fucking parents.”
Tadashi doesn’t try to stop him when Kei flings the front door open and walks outside.
—
Kei remembers it like it was yesterday. He remembers all of it.
He can clearly recall the way shattered glass looked on the marble tiles of his childhood home. White porcelain, broken up into multitudes by his mother and father. They never laid hands on each other, but everything else in the house was fair game. Kei’s lost count of the amount of broken glass dishes and picture frames he’d swept from the floor.
Kei’s parents had always been on and off in their affection for each other. One minute, they were deeply in love and the next, they were at each other’s throats. Neither of them were bad people, but they made each other bad people. The two of them brought out the worst in each other, maybe on account of knowing the other so well.
Akiteru was an accident. His brother knows this because when his parents argued, they never let him forget it. In their spats, leverage was whatever they could get their hands on, and that just happened to be Akiteru and the unfortunate circumstances of an accidental pregnancy.
His parents got married at 19, thinking that they’d be able to handle a child, that their marriage was anything but rushed. They convinced themselves that it was love, when the reality was that Akiteru came because they were too young and stupid to prevent it. At least, that’s what Kei and Akiteru had settled on in the evenings after the yelling had died down and they were left to make sense of it in their shared bedroom.
They had Kei to fix the marriage. Kei knows this because, like Akiteru, his father’s marital “solution” in the form of a second child was constant leverage to his mother. Kei grew up asking Akiteru why his mother and father even had children in the first place.
Their relationship was rocky and unstable, predictable and toxic. They, like Kei, would do things to get rises out of each other. They’d make digs, do things to get under the other’s skin. They did it for attention, for affection, or out of loathing for the person they’d decided to make their life partner. When things settled, they got bored. His parents often mistakened calmness for complacency in their relationship. His parents loved each other, but they hated each other just as much, and it was he and Akiteru who paid the price.
They got divorced when he was fourteen and any chance of Kei having a normal family went to the courthouse with the divorce papers. Akiteru was 20 at the time and managed to avoid the brunt of the custody battle. Kei still gets unexplainably angry with Akiteru for leaving him alone, though he knows that it’s not his fault. The only way Kei could make sense of it was through blame and it was easier to blame Akiteru for lying about volleyball or leaving him alone than it was to blame himself. Both Kei’s father and mother tried for full custody, not because they loved him that much, but because they knew that it would destroy the other. In the end, Kei spent his weekdays with his mother because she lived closer to his school, and weekends with his father just because.
It happens all the time. People grow together, then grow apart, and grow to loathe each other. Kei watched it happen to his parents, he watched it happen to his friends, he watched it happen to himself with his own reflection. That’s just the way it goes.
The air outside of his apartment is cool and breezy. He can feel the wind through his sweater, cutting through the gaps in the stitching and into his skin. Kei feels like he can think a little better out here, sitting on the short concrete wall with his back to the apartment building. He stares at his feet, outstretched in front of him. He's still wearing his house slippers.
Kei did this once when he was younger. The fight that night had been particularly bad and his parents had resulted to throwing things across their bedroom. Kei could hear picture frames shatter through two walls and he wondered which memories they’d decided to trash. A particularly loud shout had sent Kei out of the front door and onto the curb in front of the house.
He remembers crying, staring at his house slippers on the pavement, afraid because he could hear the shouting even from the lawn. Akiteru had come out to get him, sitting down beside him on the curb and putting his arm around him.
“Are mom and dad gonna get divorced?” Kei had asked through sniffles.
“Divorced? No, no,” Akiteru answered. “It’s just a rough patch. It happens to all couples. Mommy and Daddy will be fine.”
“It’s normal?” Kei sniffled.
Akiteru paused for a moment. Looking back, Kei realizes that Akiteru was debating on whether or not to lie to protect him. Kei wishes he hadn’t.
“Yeah, it’s normal.”
Normal. Kei realizes that he doesn’t exactly know what a normal relationship looks like. He is his parents' son. What they had in them, he has in him. Kei knows that those habits, the digs, the sour statements, the passive aggressiveness, are all things he’s picked up from watching them. Some role models they were.
He needs to apologize to Tadashi. He may have overstepped, but Kei knows that he’d been an asshole tonight. He’ll need to apologize to Tanaka as well. And to you, which is perhaps the scariest part of this. He wants to apologize for his behavior, but apologizing means that he has to admit that he’d acted the way his parents did, out of jealousy and a pull for attention. Yup, he’s his parents’ son alright.
Kei tilts his head up toward the sky. Only half of it is visible, the other half blocked by the three story apartment complex directly behind him. It’s a clear night, but he can’t see any stars and the moon is nowhere to be found. Kei wonders when the morning will come. It’s a few hours off, but he thinks about how the sky will look when the sun begins to rise.
“Kei,” a familiar voice calls from in front of him.
You’re a few feet away, your hands clasped in front of you.
“Thought you went home,” he says.
“Yeah well, I had intended to,” you start, “but you seemed off and I felt weird going back without checking on you. Can I sit?”
Kei shrugs his shoulders, mortified and angry at being caught like this. He appreciates the thought, but you’re the last person he wants to see right now. It just means he needs to face his shortcomings sooner.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Kei answers automatically.
“Just decided on some fresh air?” You smile a little and Kei blows air out of his nose.
“Yup, that’s exactly it.”
You sit next to him with your legs outstretched the same way his are, your hands are laced together in front of you, hanging down between your thighs. Kei doesn’t make an effort to say anything and neither do you. Instead, he just trains his head back up towards the sky and attempts to collect his thoughts, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
Strangely, tonight he doesn’t feel nervous. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have the energy to. Maybe he’s too preoccupied with being sorry to pay any mind to the heart palpitations he gets when you’re around. Maybe it’s because even though he showed you the worst of him tonight, you still came back. It’s a small hope, but it’s there.
“Hey,” your voice comes quietly, “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need- I mean- if you want to talk about it, I’m a pretty good ear.”
Kei nods a little.
“I’m sorry,” he says, “about tonight.”
“I didn’t come here for an apology, you know?” You exhale a little.
“Yeah, but you deserve one,” he says. “I was pretty shitty to you.”
“Yeah, you were,” you agree, catching Kei off guard, “but it happens to all of us. Sometimes we feel things and just can’t keep them inside, you know?”
“Yeah,” he agrees, swallowing down his shame.
There’s another long silence. You don’t move to touch him or talk to him, instead, you provide steady company. Kei, as strange as it is, is comforted by your presence.
“I fought with Tadashi,” Kei says after a few minutes.
“Today?”
“Yeah, tonight. After everyone left,” he says. “I deserved it though. I’ve been pretty shitty to him all day.”
You hum, leaning back on your hands.
“I did the same shit in high school too, you know?” Kei starts. “We’ve uhm- we’ve known each other for a while, the group that was over tonight. Around the end of middle school some shit happened and I uh- I took out a lot of what I was feeling on Tadashi and the others, but mostly Tadashi because he was the only one who knew.”
Kei isn’t sure why he’s telling you this. Maybe Tadashi was right. Maybe this is another attempt at self sabotage.
“You bullied him?” You ask, a little surprised.
Kei shakes his head. “No, but I wasn’t very nice either. Anyone could tell you that. I thought I was past it, though,” he admits, a little defeated.
“Did you ever apologize?”
Kei looks up at you in surprise. Your eyes are full of something, curiosity, maybe pity.
“For what you did in school?”
He nods. “Countless times, and not just to Tadashi either, to everyone.”
“You know, stuff like this happens,” you say. “When I was little, I used to hate sharing. Toys, food, friends. I’d hate it when my friends were friends with other people. It made me insecure and I’d get mad at them for it. I grew out of it, but sometimes I still get that way and I have to apologize later.”
Kei laughs. It’s strikingly similar to what’s happening now, not that you’d have any way of knowing.
“I can’t imagine you doing that,” he says.
“I’m serious,” you say. “I still get weird over it sometimes.”
Kei shakes his head a little, smiling.
“All that I’m saying is that sometimes we slip up, that’s all. It’s normal,” you continue. “Not that I’m condoning it. Just saying that it doesn’t make you a horrible person. It makes you human.”
“Thanks,” he says softly.
“No problem,” you respond.
“So why’d you fight with him tonight?”
“He was angry with me because I was an asshole,” Kei shrugs.
“And you’re mad that he called you out?” You give a quiet and somewhat incredulous laugh.
Kei shakes his head. “No, I’m angry about what he said after.”
“What’d he say?”
Kei debates on telling you. He doesn’t want to make himself out to be a victim. After all, Tadashi meant no harm, even if his comment did exactly that.
“The argument kind of switched subjects,” Kei tiptoes around the fact that the subject was you. “He brought up a bad habit of mine and I got defensive.”
“Okay,” you say, waiting for him to say more.
“Remember when I said that something happened at the end of middle school and only Tadashi knew about it?” When you nod, Kei continues. “My parents got divorced. They were a bad match and it was messy. He brought it up.”
You nod again, your eyes wide.
“He didn’t mean any harm, I know that,” Kei inhales. “But uh- that stuff kind of sticks with you. Well, it’s stuck with me and I didn’t like having it used to explain my behaviors, even if he was right. I’m not deflecting or anything though. I know I was the problem tonight.”
“Sure,” you say. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
Kei shrugs. “It’s in the past. They’re both remarried now with new kids.”
The last sentence leaves Kei with a sour taste in his mouth. His parents are good people, but after his childhood, he doesn’t think they have any business having more children. Maybe they’re capable of being good for them, but Kei doesn’t like to imagine that. It makes him feel like their marriage wasn’t the problem, but he and Akiteru were.
“You say that like they got a new pet,” you smile a little. “Are you still in touch with them?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I visit whenever I go back home, though they’re really not too far from here.”
“That’s good of you.”
“Well, they are my parents,” Kei says plainly.
You’re the only other person he’s divulged this to by choice and your reactions, understanding and level-headed, make him feel better. It’s like getting a weight off of his chest. This is the worst of him. This little bit of information, his history of being unable to fully confront his feelings, of taking anger out on others when he was young, is where his problems originate.
“Yeah, but you’re allowed to feel what you feel about it,” you say. “My mom died when I was eleven. Texting and driving. I’m still angry at her for it.”
“I’m sorry,” he says.
You shrug and offer him a wry smile. “It’s in the past, but I’m still angry even though I shouldn’t be.”
“At her?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “She made a stupid mistake that we’re constantly warned about and left my dad and me behind. I was so angry with her, still am. I love her though, perceived faults and all.”
Kei thinks about whether or not he loves his parents. He thinks he does, even if he resents them. Kei can’t imagine what he’d do without them. Even though his childhood had few emotional comforts, he still can’t think about a world where he doesn’t visit home to have his mother’s cooking. That’s a world that you live in.
“That’s hard.” It’s all Kei can think to offer.
“It was,” you say. “Got easier though as soon as I started accepting things. Now I just miss her more than I hate her.”
Another bout of silence follows this. It must be close to two in the morning and he’s been outside so long that he can no longer feel the tip of his nose.
“Anyway, about tonight,” you say, “it’s not a crime to feel what you feel, but if you need help, that’s what we’re here for. It’s easier to accept feelings and get hurt than to ignore them, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” Kei says, looking to face you. “Thank you.”
You’re so pretty. It’s striking. The curvature and angles of your face, the gentle look in your eyes, softened by the conversation. Kei finds himself thinking that despite not wanting to face you a few hours earlier, he’s grateful that you showed up. You’re good in ways that Kei can hardly fathom.
“You should go inside. Tadashi is probably wondering where you are,” you say, standing up. “Plus,” you pinch the tip of his nose between your middle and pointer knuckles, “your nose looks like a cherry tomato.”
“Rude,” he says, startled by the sudden touch.
“Payback,” you shrug your shoulders and Kei rolls his eyes.
“Do you need me to walk you home?” Kei offers, a bit nervous about you walking home on your own.
“I’d love to take you up on that, but you seem tired and I don’t live very far,” you respond. “I’ll call you when I get home though, okay? Since you’re so worried.”
Kei laughs a little and then nods, standing up. “Yeah, I am.”
His honesty surprises even him, but you just tilt your head and give him a small smile.
“I’ll see you on Monday,” you say. “Thanks for the apology”
“Anytime.”
“I hope not,” you laugh and Kei follows suit.
You begin to turn on your heel, giving a small wave.
Kei doesn’t know what overcomes him, but he calls out your name and reaches for your wrist. Before he has a moment to think about what he’s doing, he pulls you to his chest in a hug. You stiffen and then relax in his grip, wrapping your arms around him. Your body is warmer than his, sending heat through the gaps in his sweater.
“You can call even if it’s not to tell me you got home safe,” he says. “If you want to.”
You squeeze him around the middle. “Okay, I will.”
When Kei lets go, he finds that his face is burning. The cold has been replaced by a flush of blood, making his vision a little syrupy.
“Thanks for coming back,” he says. “Get home safe.”
“Of course,” you sound a little dazed, wearing an expression that Kei thinks might match his. “And I will.”
Then, you smile at him, flashing your teeth and giving him a wave. You hold up your phone and point to it.
“Expect a call!”
Kei nods and raises his arm to wave goodbye.
He stands and watches your figure as you walk down the sidewalk and turn the corner. When you’re out of sight, he lingers by the door to his building, just in case you decide to come back. You don’t come back, but Kei lingers anyway, considering the conversation.
He goes inside, intent on apologizing to Tadashi. When he opens the door to his apartment, the lights are still on in the living room and Tadashi gets up from the couch and walks quickly down the hall to him.
“Kei, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Don’t worry,” Kei says. “I know. I’m sorry about tonight too. And for treating you like that today. And for high school.”
“High school?” Tadashi says, confused. “Why are you bringing up high school?”
“Just wanted to apologize again.”
Kei can feel his eyes drooping, exhaustion creeping into his body and replacing the elated feeling he had moments before.
“I didn’t mean to bring your parents into it. How you like someone is none of my business,” Tadashi says. “I was out of line.”
“So was I,” Kei admits through a tired sigh. “I shouldn’t have acted that way. I’ll apologize to the others in the morning.”
Tadashi narrows his eyes a little and nods. Kei, besieged by that sleepy late night feeling, moves towards his bedroom.
“Hey, Kei,” his voice comes out a little louder this time. “You’re being surprisingly easy-going. Are we good?”
Kei scoffs a little, rubbing his eyes. “I just had some time to think, that’s all. And yeah, we’re good.”
“Okay, are you good?”
“Yeah, I am,” Kei says.
Before he closes the door to his room, he furrows his eyebrows and makes a firm decision.
“By the way,” Tadashi turns to him, cocking his head to the side in response. “I lied. I do like them.”
“Could have guessed as much,” he responds, laughing a little. “See you in the morning.”
“Yup, see you in the morning.”
Kei shuts the door to his room. It clicks into place quietly. His room is spotless. It looks like a room that could be easily emptied at any time. He sighs, stepping into it and laying down on his bed. His phone is on the comforter next to him, lying face up.
When it lights up, it illuminates the ceiling above him and he answers the phone without needing to check who's calling.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I got home safe,” he hears your keys clink against something and then the sound of a door shutting. Then, he hears the sound of you laying down on your bed. He imagines you’re lying the same way he is.
“Good, I’m glad,” he says. “No trouble?”
“No trouble at all,” you say. He can hear your smile.
“Thanks again for coming back tonight,” he says, turning over onto his side and letting the phone rest on the bed in front of his face.
“Of course,” you say.
He doesn’t know what else to say. His nerves have caught up to him and your voice through the speaker sounds so close, like you’re whispering directly into his ear.
“Okay, well I’m going to go to bed,” Kei starts.
“Kei?” you say.
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna take you up on your offer. About calling you. Just wanted you to know.”
“Okay,” he swallows.
“I feel a lot closer to you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Goodnight, Kei,” you practically whisper.
“Goodnight,” he responds, lowering his voice the same way you did. You hang up the phone and the call ends.
He blinks at his phone for a moment before standing up and getting ready for bed. Kei goes through the motions while thinking about how the evening got here. He’d been certain before it began that he no longer liked you, that he was confused. Now, he’s certain of the opposite.
He decides that he’ll like you for real this time. Even if he’s afraid of hurting himself, of hurting you.
Kei lays down in his bed and faces the ceiling. He thinks about his parents, about your mother, about you. The cadence of your voice, the slight tremor in it. He thinks about your expressions, understanding and unintrusive. He thinks about your history, the anger you’d admitted to him and the grace you’d given him in his own circumstances.
He dreams of braids, like DNA. Coils of pink yarn woven together in an intricate pattern. A molecular change not visible to the naked eye. Morning comes like liquid gold, spilling across his bedspread in slats through the window.
—
Kei’s apologies go smoothly. Tadashi’s friends—his friends—are good people. They know him better than most and field his awkward, stumbling apology with steady hands.
He’d explained his sour mood in as little detail as possible, deliberately omitting his feelings for you while doing so, and he made a special effort to apologize to Tanaka. He’s easygoing and quick to forget, but Kei knows that even after accepting the apology, Tanaka will lord it over his head for a week or two. Tanaka thinks those kinds of things are funny and Kei won’t try to tell him otherwise.
You do take Kei up on his offer. You call him twice a week now. Sometimes it’s to tell him something relevant to him, other times, you just whisper into the phone that you just felt like talking. Either way, it’s not good for his heart. Kei thinks that at this rate, it might just give out.
There are a lot of things that Kei could say about liking you. It makes his days a little brighter. When he remembers that he has someone he cares about like that, he feels a surge of excitement for no particular reason. He finds that he looks forward to seeing you and goes out of his way to do so, more than he did before he was willing to admit it.
He’s noticed the way you eat, like every bite of food is even better than the last. He’s noticed that you wipe the condensation off of your cups before each sip. He’s noticed that when you’re studying, you’ll pull at the collar of your shirt absentmindedly and then become frustrated when it is stretched out of place. Kei likes all of these things about you.
Kei has also found that liking someone hurts. It hurts worse than he thought it would. Insecurity weaves its way into even the most minor of interactions. He’s self conscious almost all of the time, adjusting his hair, clothing, glasses right down to minor details. As of late, Kei appears more put together than he ever has, but the reality is that he’s probably the least put together he’s ever been.
When you’re around, Kei is awkward and clumsy. He drops things, trips over nothing, loses control over his lanky limbs and overshoots things. He feels like a teenager again, not that he’s that far off from one.
Still, one thing overshadows all of this. Kei is so comfortable around you, so peaceful despite the nerves and insecurity, that he’s able to forget about the worst of it. Forgetting about the worst of things is not something Kei is particularly good at. He’s cynical by nature. You help to ease the burden of it.
The coffee shop he’s visiting with you today is quiet. The room is decorated with dark oak wood and the tables are accented by the rings of the trees the wood was cut from. The early spring light filters in at angles through the windows letting out onto the street. It falls across your notebooks and the knuckles of your hand, wrapped evenly around a black pen.
You’d brought him here to study instead of going to the library and Kei can’t help but think that it feels like a date. His tea sits half-finished in a mug beside his laptop, beginning to cool to room temperature. Your coffee sits by your unoccupied hand and every now and then, you’ll reach to take a sip of the warm beverage without even glancing up.
Kei has spent so much time watching you today, that he’s hardly gotten any work done. His computer is open on a document with a paragraph of writing about nudity in the classical period, which he hasn’t touched in about 10 minutes. He’s been clicking blankly around the page, adding spaces and then deleting them and then glancing up over the edge of the screen to look at the way you purse your lips when you’re focused.
“You’d get a lot more done if you stopped staring,” you say, not looking up from your notebook.
Kei chokes on his exhale. “What?”
You laugh a little, looking up at him through your lashes. God, you’re pretty.
“The document?” You chuckle. “You’re not fooling anyone by clicking around randomly like that.”
“Oh,” Kei furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head a little. “Yeah, just can’t seem to focus.”
“What’s the paper on?” You set down your pen and cross your arms on the table.
“It’s not really a paper,” he says. “It’s a visual analysis on the Aphrodite of Knidos.”
“Is that the one without the arms?”
“No, but they come from the same family of statues,” Kei smiles a little.
You hum a bit. “Do you like it?”
“Like, do I think the statue’s pretty?” Kei closes the screen of his laptop to see you better. “Yeah, I do. Learning about the history of it is a bit depressing though.”
“Why?”
“Well, Aphrodite was one of the most powerful Greek gods, right?” He says, and you nod your head and roll your eyes because you know that already. “But this statue group intrudes on a private moment of hers. She’s trying to cover up her body, probably just before or after a bath. It’s meant to be humiliating.”
You tilt your head. “Sounds more interesting than molecular structures at least.”
Kei laughs a little. “Yeah, I think it’s just a bit more interesting.”
“Why did you choose to study art history?” You question, leaning forward on your elbows.
Kei feels awkward at receiving the question. He doesn’t like talking about himself much, let alone his passions. They tend to get away from him.
“Probably because I’m no good at art,” he smiles a little.
“Such a shame, what with your artist’s hands and all,” you reach across the table and tap his knuckle.
Kei feels the color rise to his cheeks.
“You’re no good at art, so you study art history instead?” You press for more.
“Yeah,” he says. “I like things that people make with their hands. There’s a lot of human expression in ancient art, good and bad. Gives a bit more context into who we were before.”
You lean back in the chair, grinning at him. Kei bites the inside of his cheek and tries not to notice the slope of your neck.
“Why are you studying molecular bio?” He changes the subject.
You shrug your shoulders. “I want a good cushy job that makes me a lot of money.”
Kei watches the corners of your lips curl up.
“Plus,” you continue, “I wanted to show off a little bit.”
“So you put yourself through four years of torture?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Yup, I’m a huge masochist,” you grin.
“You STEM kids are unbearable, you know?” Kei snorts.
“But you like me anyway, yeah?”
Kei nods, heat creeping up his neck, and watches you return to your work.
It’s true, he does like you anyway. Kei likes you so much, in fact, that it frightens him. Well, the idea of liking someone has always frightened Kei, whether he’s noticed it or not. Commitment, or lack thereof, make Kei nervous in the same way heights do. He feels like he could lose his footing at any moment.
That’s probably why he doesn’t want to do anything in particular about his feelings. Kei is content with just feeling them. He’s content to just be able to like you in his own way, even if nothing ever comes of it. He probably shouldn’t do anything about them, considering the back and forth battle he’s waged in his mind over the last few months. He’s too indecisive to do anything but like you, and even that feels herculean to accept.
Not that liking you is a hard thing to do. You’re easy to like. It’s easy for him to picture touching you. It’s easy for Kei to imagine late night conversations and little intimacies shared over damp pillows. You’re easy to talk to, floating through conversations and navigating conflict with a sure step, something Kei can’t do. It’s not hard to find things to admire.
Kei imagines what it would be like to be with you. He imagines the feel of your hands in his, how you might look spread beneath him, the inside of your thighs pressing against his hips. He imagines how his glasses might fog up with your breath and slip down the bridge of his nose. What do you taste like? What do you feel like?
A little alarm bell sounds in his head. This is a dangerous line of thought, a greedy one. Kei doesn’t think he can handle greed, not when it comes to you. He got a taste of it that day when he saw you leave with someone else and again the following Friday. Kei doesn’t mix well with it, with wanting. Still, he wants.
—
It’s a breezy day. It cuts the growing humidity as the beginning of May creeps on. This is no doubt one of the best times of year, though Kei prefers the fall or winter. Still, even with the slightly sticky air, his walk to class is pleasant. He’d even venture to say that it’s good.
Light filters through the trees, blooming with their spring flowers, and in the distance he can see a familiar row of cherry blossoms just beginning to bloom. As he approaches them, he finds himself admiring their delicate petals, wondering just how brief their bloom will be before they come cascading down. One tree among the pink rows has yet to open its flowers. The buds sit on their branches, shades of green and gray. A late bloomer. This tree will no doubt flower once the other petals have fallen, and when it does, it’ll become the most eye-catching thing on the street.
Kei admires it for a moment, standing below the thing and looking up through its twisting branches. It’s so small, much smaller than the rest of its counterparts, and its branches don’t look too full of yet-to-bloom buds either.
There was a tree like this outside of Kei’s childhood home, the one his family lived in together when it was whole. It would always bloom a week after the others and every year he would worry that it never would. Of course, he kept this fear to himself, but he often watched it from his bedroom window when Akiteru was out. He’d press his face against the glass and pray for the flowers to come so that it didn’t get left behind. Sure enough though, it would bloom without fail and leave scattered pink petals across his yard and doorstep. Kei wonders if this tree in front of him will do the same.
“Thinking about changing your major to plant sciences, Kei?”
He jumps, started by your voice and your proximity.
“Jesus,” Kei turns, “you need a bell or something.”
“You’re the one standing in public staring at a tree with no flowers on it,” you laugh a little.
Kei shrugs his shoulders, not really willing to give an explanation for the train of thought he was just on.
“Where’re you headed?” he questions.
“Dropping off an assignment,” you smile lightly, “wanna come with me?”
“I can’t. I’ve got a class in 15.”
“Fifteen minutes is fifteen minutes,” you shrug. “We’ll make it.”
“We?” Kei raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah, you come with me to drop off my paper and then I drop you off at class. It’s a win-win.”
“Sounds like I’m just doing a lot of extra walking,” Kei snorts.
“Yeah, but you get to do it with me so it’ll be more fun.”
Kei folds and goes with you to drop off your assignment. It’s an essay assigned by an old-fashioned professor who doesn’t like electronic submissions. You comment off-handedly on what a waste of paper it is and Kei nods, just happy to hear about it.
It’s strange. Kei is normally very tied to his routine. It keeps him sane, helps him to organize his thoughts and feelings into neat compartments. For Kei, an orderly life is an orderly mind. Somehow though, you ask him to deviate from that and he’s more than willing, eager even, to oblige you. Better yet, he does it without feeling off-kilter. Well, without feeling as off-kilter about his daily life. When it comes to you, Kei is about as stable as a pogo stick.
The walk to your professor's office is only a few minutes from his classroom, just a few buildings over, but by the time you both arrive there, Kei’s palms are sweating. He resorts to shoving them in his pockets and wiping them on the inside of his pants, mortified at the idea of accidentally touching you like this.
“Hey, about tonight,” you start after dropping the paper off with a quick bow.
You’re supposed to come over. It’s the first time you and Kei have agreed to hang out at one of your places alone and Kei has been compartmentalizing his nerves so harshly that he’d almost forgotten about it entirely. Maybe that explains his easy-going mood.
“Yeah?”
“So, Tadashi may have mentioned it in front of the others,” you give him a sheepish grin, “and they may have asked to come and I definitely told them ‘the more the merrier’.”
“Oh, yeah?” Kei’s a little disappointed. “So they’re coming too?”
“Yeah, is that okay?” You furrow your eyebrows.
Kei can’t very well come out and say that it isn’t, because his reason for thinking that is entirely about monopolizing your time. Kei says he doesn’t want to do anything about these feelings, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t indulge just a little into the foreign feeling of accepting that he’s ‘in like’.
“Yeah sure, why wouldn’t it be?”
You raise an eyebrow at him and Kei misses the message entirely.
“I dunno, you’re not really a fan of bigger groups right?”
“Not really,” Kei shrugs, “but I’ve known them for a while so it doesn’t count.”
You nod your head and then smile. “Great! Now, where is your class?”
“Social Sciences,” Kei glances down at the brown watch on his wrist. “In about… four minutes.”
“Wanna run? Can’t be late, can you?”
Kei does not want to run. He runs anyway. You’re faster than he is and your step is louder. The soles of your shoes thump on the floor with every step you take and your whole body lurches forward with each bound. When you reach the end of the hallway his class is in, Kei is completely winded. Considering that he plays volleyball as a hobby, he should really be in better shape. He attributes his lack of breath to your presence. Maybe he’d been holding it while watching you run.
You glance into his full classroom, giving him a relieved look upon seeing that the professor has not begun her lecture yet. Then, you bounce twice on the tips of your toes and start jogging in the other direction.
“Have a good class!” You call.
“What’s the rush?” he questions.
“I’ve got class now too, dummy. Just wanted to hang out with you for a few more minutes.” Then, you turn and run off, your bag bouncing against the side of your leg as you round a corner and fly down a set of stairs.
That’s the thing about you that Kei can’t get enough of. When Kei takes a step back, when he resigns himself to being okay with just a chance meeting and a brief hello, you take a step forward. Whatever Kei lacks, you make up for tenfold. Your outstretched hand makes him greedier. It makes Kei want more than he’s ever wanted before. He goes to class starved for something that isn’t food, a feeling Kei hasn’t experienced often, let alone leaned into. He lets himself feel the hunger.
—
Day melts away to a cool evening, still slightly wet, but like the dampness before rain. The air loses its warm touch, creeping into something chillier. Kei opens his bedroom window to let the air in. He likes the smell of cool nights. He wants his room to smell like it when he sleeps tonight.
“Sorry that I spilled the beans about tonight,” Tadashi leans in the doorway of his room.
“It’s not like that,” Kei rolls his eyes, already irritated with the implication that whatever you and Kei had organized was anything more than two friends hanging out.
“Sure it isn’t,” he laughs.
“I’m serious dude,” Kei fights the urge to throw something soft at him.
“You wanted to hang out with them alone, right?” Tadashi tilts his head. His dark hair falls to the side and around his neck.
“I just said it wasn’t like that!”
Tadashi gives an even laugh. “You’re the one making it dirty, Tsukki, not me.”
Heat floods Kei’s face, painting it red.
“Caught ya,” Tadashi smiles.
“When the hell are you moving out?” Kei grumbles and Tadashi gives another good natured laugh.
“Not until you do. You’re stuck with me.”
“Not if I kill you,” Kei doesn’t smile when he says this.
Tadashi barks a laugh. “So what changed?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with you. You seem a little more upbeat lately,” Tadashi says. “Nothing like the sad sack from a few months ago.”
“I was kidding before but now I’m serious. I really will kill you.”
Tadashi shakes his head a little but doesn’t say anything, intruding on Kei’s space until he gives an answer.
“I just got tired of it, that’s all,” Kei says evenly, though it’s a little hard to admit.
“Tired of what?”
“Pretending,” he says plainly, glancing up at Tadashi in the doorway.
“Because of them?”
“No,” he starts. “Maybe. I don’t know. Can you leave now?”
Tadashi shakes his head. “Too curious to leave.”
“I don’t have an answer for you,” Kei grumbles. “I got tired of pretending I didn’t want them.”
“Not like you were very good at pretending,” Tadashi laughs and Kei tosses him a sharp look.
He raises his hands defensively, tucking his chin downwards and laughing lightly. “Okay, fine. I’m gone now.”
“They’ll be here in an hour or so, by the way,” Kei adds and Tadashi gives a little hum to confirm that he’s heard him as he leaves the room.
Kei glances around his room. The floor is bare, save for a small mat by the side of his bed to keep the shock of warm feet on a cold floor in the morning away. That notebook, dear to him as it is, still sits on the desk. It’s empty, but Kei likes the look of it.
The hour before you and his friends are meant to arrive goes by so slowly that Kei worries that he’s gotten the day wrong. He incessantly checks his watch. It’s a brown leather watch with a square face. Thin and somewhat old fashioned, Kei prefers it to pulling his phone out to check the time. His Dad has one like it, almost matching. It had been given to him as a gift at his high school graduation and Kei had accepted it begrudgingly. He’d not been on good terms with his parents then and having them both in the same space for his graduation day was more trouble than it was worth. Still, he wears the watch almost daily. Despite having the impression that his parents never really cared about him, it was a fine gift for him and the brown strap suits his light skin tone in the same way it suits his father’s.
He walks to the mirror in his room, hanging on the wall beside his nightstand, and peers into it. Kei’s curly hair is somewhat unruly. It’s hard to manage, especially in the warmer months when his waves turn into frizzy curls that he can’t seem to keep down. It’s gotten longer, coming down to just above the bottom of his ears at the back and curls upwards in licks of thick blond.
Kei fiddles with it for a moment, tucking it behind his ears and then deciding to pull it forward. He could put gel in it to help calm it down, but he hates the greasy look of it and he’s never been one to primp and preen. He adjusts his glasses on his nose, square frames in a tortoiseshell pattern. They look expensive, though they’re only a cheap pair that he’d found at the drug store and had the lenses replaced.
He looks normal. Kei looks like himself, if not a bit flushed in the face from his nerves. His reflection is one he is oddly unfamiliar with, despite it being his throughout his entire life. At some point during high school, he’d stopped recognizing the man in the mirror as Kei and started viewing him as a separate entity. Kei Two, a version of him that can make a home out of a space and find things to write in his notebook. Kei Two’s family is still whole and unbroken, and he likes to imagine that he’s a little more friendly than the real-world version. He looks away from the mirror, content today with being the original.
Kei is in the living room and around the corner when the front door latch clicks open and is followed by a symphony of raucous voices. He takes a sharp inhale, unsure of why this feels so different from the hundreds of other times you’ve all piled into his living room.
“Where’s Kei?” He hears you call, dragging out the syllable of his name in a soft hum.
That’s why. It’s because this time, you’ve come here to see him specifically. You’re not here to see Tadashi or by chance, you’re here because you’d made plans to see Kei. That’s what makes it different.
You round the corner and Kei is hit full force in the chest with his emotions and his nerves. It happens all at once, keeping the air from his lungs. You’re smiling, beaming even, and Kei thinks that maybe it’s because you can hear the hammer of his heart against his chest.
“Hi,” you breathe, plopping down next to him on the couch.
“Hey,” he chokes out.
Kei chides himself for his nerves. He’d been doing better about getting weird around you, but today he feels closer to blowing up than he ever has.
Hinata, Kageyama, Yachi, and Noya make their way into the kitchen, each one clapping Tadashi on the back as they do. They beeline for their fridge, opening the door and flooding the floor with artificial white light as they pull out enough beers and sodas to supply a small army. Kei wonders why he and Tadashi ever bought so many of them. Kei hardly drinks, but he supposes that Tadashi just likes to host.
“Tanaka and Kiyoko?” Tadashi questions as he makes his way into the living room with the group. His beer cracks open with a satisfying pop.
“Date night,” Noya says, sinking into one of the arm chairs situated around the coffee table. “So annoying.”
He groans about Kiyoko, someone he’s all but worshiped since high school.
“You’re just mad it isn’t you,” Kageyama quips, giving a somewhat mean grin.
“Not true,” Noya argues. “I am the happiest person in the world for them! But now they go on dates and I can’t come. It’s like I lost a bro.”
“You’re so overreacting,” Yachi adds, her lips forming around high pitched syllables. “They’re here most of the time.”
“Yeah, most but not all,” Noya pouts.
“Give the same energy to Daichi, Suga, and Asahi next time, kay?” Tadashi laughs.
Their friend group is a large one, consisting of most (if not all) of their highschool volleyball team. While Hinata, Kageyama, and Yachi are the same age as Kei and Tadashi, Tanaka and Noya are a year older, and Kiyoko is two. Daichi, Asahi, and Suga all went to universities outside of Sendai, meaning they hardly ever see them. All in all, the rest of the group is pretty bummed about it. Kei just finds that he misses having Daichi around to reel everyone in. Now that he’s gone, that job has somehow gone to Tadashi, who is more of an enabler than anything else.
“They’re different and you know it,” Noya frowns, opening his open beer with a hiss through his teeth.
You lean to the side, bumping your shoulder against Kei’s.
“Who’re Daichi, Suga, and Asahi?” You ask softly.
“You’ve never met?” Kei furrows his eyebrows and you shrug.
“Maybe, but if I have it was only once or twice.”
“They’re friends from our volleyball team in highschool, but they’re two years older.”
“Okay, so one year older than me?”
Kei blinks a few times. “You’re a year older than me?”
“Yeah?” You laugh a little like it’s obvious.
“But aren’t you a fourth year?” He furrows his eyebrows.
“I took a year off before starting college,” you shrug your shoulders. “Thought that I had to get my sillies out.”
“Your sillies?” Kei laughs a little.
“Yeah,” you smile, “and I had to save up some money. It makes the world go ‘round, you know?”
“What are you guys whispering about?” Tadashi gives Kei a wry grin over the top of his beer can.
It’s only then that Kei realizes the way you both are leaning into each other. He’s tilting his head down to hear you better and you’re leaning forward. It gives off the impression of two people conspiring, of closeness that Kei hadn’t even realized had crept up on him.
“I was asking who Daichi, Suga, and Asahi are,” you shrug off the moment, leaning back in the chair.
This prompts a chorus of disbelief, everyone jumping in to describe them to you. Kei takes it as a moment to breathe, inhaling and exhaling. He can feel your thigh against his, just barely there and bleeding warmth through the fabric of his jeans.
They delve into stories about nationals, little details that Kei had forgotten a long time ago. Every now and then, someone will bring up Kei’s more-than-sour personality and he will feel the need to hide the embarrassment on his cheeks. Even though you know about it, it’s still mortifying for Kei to hear. He wants you to see the best in him, but any hopes he had of you forgetting are quickly washed away as someone brings up Kei’s relentless prodding of Kageyama’s easily pushed buttons.
You laugh along with them like you were there, amused to hear stories about your college friends in their high school years. Kei finds himself thinking that you fit very well into this scene.
Still though, despite the fun he’s having, Kei’s battery begins to run out quickly and after a long game of cards, he gets up to take a quick break in the kitchen. It’s not that he wants the night to end, but rather that he just needs a minute to himself and uses the idea of more snacks as an excuse for it.
He reaches into a cabinet, pulling out a half-finished bag of chips and setting them on the counter. They’re clipped with a bright red chip-clip from the grocery store and Kei thinks that because of that, they shouldn’t have gone stale yet. If it were the peak of summer, Kei might think twice, but this time of year, they should be fine.
Then, he bends down to get a large white mixing bowl from a lower cabinet. Their plates and bowls are kept in various different cabinets, though the only reason they stay somewhat organized is because of Kei.
“Done already?” You lean your hip against the counter.
“With what?” Kei struggles to keep his eyes from following the line of your body.
“Hanging out,” you smile lightly.
“Not really,” he says. “Just needed a minute and decided to get more snacks.”
“Wanna go sit outside for a bit then?”
Kei glances into the living room where the group chatters away. He’d hate to be stopped on the way.
“Relax,” you laugh. “They’re so caught up they won’t even notice that we’re gone.”
Kei furrows his eyebrows and then shrugs, swallowing his heart down with the spit that has pooled in his mouth. He follows you out of the front door, shutting it with a quiet click and heading down the steps of the complex and to the concrete wall lining the shrubbery outside. It’s the same place you’d come back to talk to him at all those weeks ago, though he is in considerably better spirits than he was then.
It’s a cool night, the gentle heat of the day completely burned off to make way for a crisp breeze. He inhales, wishing that he had brought a drink to fiddle with and sip on to distract him from his nerves.
You sit beside him, leaning back on your palms with your legs outstretched in front of you. Your hand is only a few inches from his and Kei sucks in a breath when he accidentally touches it while he gets comfortable. You only offer him a little smile in response.
“Sorry again about bringing the troops here,” you speak first.
“That’s really okay,” he says. “Contrary to popular belief, I actually really like them.”
You snort. “I hope so.”
Kei inhales louder than he intends to and when you look at him like he’s going to say something, he just holds his breath and shakes his head. The air only leaves him when you finally look away.
“Kind of a bummer though,” you start, “I was kinda excited about just hanging out with you.”
Kei’s breath catches in his throat. He swallows to move the metaphorical blockage.
“We hang out all the time though,” he says like it’s enough. Of course it’s not enough.
“Guess so,” you smile a little, though Kei can hear the distinct turn of disappointment in your voice.
“You know,” he starts, already embarrassed at what he’s going to admit. “I wanted to be your friend for a while.”
“Oh yeah?” you smile, opening up again and turning towards him. “Why?”
Kei shrugs, resisting the urge to shut down completely. It’s embarrassing admitting to someone that you wanted to know them before you actually knew them.
“You kind of reminded me of Tadashi,” he says. “And you both got along so well.”
“Tadashi? I’m nothing like Tadashi,” you laugh, shaking your head.
“What? No, you two are so similar,” Kei insists, lacing his fingers together.
“What about us is so similar?”
“Well, you’re both sociable and warm and…” Kei trails off. He can’t really think of anything else. You look at him with an expectant look in your eyes.
“See?”
Kei realizes that the two of you are not similar at all. Your warmth is where the similarity stops. He’d been likening you to Tadashi this entire time, not because the two of you are similar, but because you make him feel similar to the way Tadashi does. Safe and comfortable, though with the added addition of deeply awkward. He realizes that without the safety net of you being like Tadashi, he’s never had any ability to deny his feelings and with that they rage full force around the corner and slam into his chest like a heavy blow.
“We’re nothing like each other,” you laugh and lean back against your palms. “Though, it would be cool to be like Tadashi.”
Kei experiences the sudden realization that he doesn’t want you to be like Tadashi. Kei wants you to be like him. He wants you to be greedy and want him the same way he wants you. He wants you to be able to keep up with his turns and his moods, something he didn’t realize he wanted in the first place. If you’re like Kei, then Kei doesn’t have to be afraid of showing you the worst. You’ll have already seen it. If you’re like Kei and he loves you, then what is stopping you from loving him?
“Even if you’re not like Tadashi, that’s fine.” His cheeks burn.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I like you all the same,” he admits quietly.
“The same? As Tadashi?” You purse your lips a little. “I thought I was a little different. Was I wrong?”
Kei wants to kiss you. Kei wants to kiss you so badly that his mouth has gone dry and his lips feel like they’ve separated from his body. Anything he’d thought about not wanting anything with you flies out of the window with your proximity. You’re so close to him. Close enough that if he leaned a little to the right, his shoulder would be against yours. You’re so close and you’re looking at him like you’re waiting for something, implying that somehow you’re different from Tadashi. Implying that you want him to like you differently than the way he likes his platonic friend.
“No, you’re different,” he says, taking the bait you’ve laid in front of him. His heart pounds and he can’t look at you. He thinks he’ll kiss you if he does.
“Am I?”
Kei can hear the smile in your voice. It makes what you’re saying sound honeyed and curved.
“Yeah, you are.”
“How so?”
Kei finally raises his head to look at you. You’re grinning, leaning towards him like you’re watching a show. He feels the way his nerves rise into his throat, pressing against the very back of his tongue. He doesn’t know how to answer or what to say. Well, he does know what to say, he just doesn’t think he can. Kei is good at thinking about emotions, but when it comes time to speak them outloud, it seems that he’s still got a padlock around his throat. So he does what any logical person would do.
Kei leans forward, pushing against his screaming nerves and trying to ignore the tremble in his hands, and kisses you. It’s awkward and his teeth click against yours before his lips fully settle against your mouth. He feels the breath you draw in, like surprise and relief mixed together, and he finds that he does the same.
He can see the way your eyes flutter closed through his barely open ones and he realizes that your lips are so warm. He screws his eyes shut when you dip your head forward to move your lips against his. Yours are so warm and soft, like satin. A kiss has never felt like this to Kei before and he finds that he wants to catalog every single one of your reactions. Maybe that’s what he could write in the notebook. Maybe he could write down every single thing that you do that leaves him winded and wanting more.
Neither of you reach for the other, but he can feel the knuckle of your pinky against his as you slowly kiss each other, tilting your heads side to side. There’s hunger within him, the need to take more than what he’s receiving and a greed he isn’t quite familiar with, but there’s also romance. It’s like a spell that’s yet to be broken, fed by the click of your mouths as they move together. Kei sighs, flooded with the relief of this kind of physical affection, of being honest with himself at how much he likes it. Kei loves the feel of your mouth. He loves the way your lips and tongue feel and he loves that they’re all that he can feel right now.
The kiss lasts longer than Kei thought it would and by the time he pulls away, you’re both steadily panting and attempting to keep your breathing even. He wants to do it again. He wants it so badly that it makes his chest swell. He wants to do that with you forever, but he swallows down the desire. It’s a temporary fix, but it’s enough for him to choke out what it is he wants to say next.
“I think I’m in really hot water,” he squeaks.
“What do you mean?” You breathe out, the playfulness from a few moments earlier long behind you.
“I think I want you way more than I thought I did,” he admits quietly, the first out loud admittance of his feelings to you.
You smile a little before speaking. “I think it’s only hot water if the other person doesn’t feel the same way.”
Your face is still so close to his. “Yeah?”
It comes out a bit desperate, like he needs reassurance. Kei does. He’s so afraid that he thinks he could die. Afraid of the spell breaking, afraid of losing whatever moment this is and being forced to return to his one-sided pining, afraid that you don’t feel the same way.
Your face moves closer to him, breath trembling lightly. “Yeah.”
You kiss him again, pressing your lips against his lightly before parting them. He’s so overwhelmed and so immediately lost in it. Kei feels the way your tongue teases the inside of his mouth and it makes him feel like a teenager again, swelling with desires and emotions that he can’t name. You move your hand over his, placing it lightly on top of his, and he reacts by lacing your fingers together and pushing forward more.
Kei wants to touch you so badly, to reach up and hold your face, to touch your waist and your legs and your chest. He wants to do it all, to feel you right here under the cover of night, but he doesn’t. Instead, he kisses you and stews in the desire, letting it swell in his chest as he listens to the clicking of your mouths. You kiss him so slowly, moving your mouth at a languid pace. It drives him crazy. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this.
“We should go back inside, I think,” you break away, your bottom lip shiny with a sheen of spit. “The others might think something’s up and Tanaka isn’t exactly good with discretion.”
Kei automatically reaches up to swipe it with his thumb. He doesn’t know where this affection comes from, where the possessive action found its origins, but he finds that he likes the way it feels to be able to do it in the first place.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Kei responds, though he would have been happy to continue sitting out here with you, kissing you silly.
You stand first, dusting off the back of your legs and waiting for Kei to follow suit. When he does, you reach quickly for his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before walking in front of him.
Kei is not sure how he should act when he goes inside. He’s tense all over, desperate to pick up where the two of you left off, and unsure if his face betrays that thought.
“Where’d you guys go?” Tadashi asks as Kei closes the door behind him.
In the time you’d both been gone, the living room has been transformed into something nearly unrecognizable. Empty beer cans are strewn about the tables and the blankets and pillows from the couches are now haphazardly laying around beside the couch or over people’s bodies. Then again, maybe the room always looked like this and he was just too busy thinking about how close you were to him.
Kei doesn’t know what to say. Why had they gone outside in the first place? He’s not even sure that he remembers.
“I wanted a cigarette and I made Kei come with me,” you answer evenly. “Why? You jealous?”
“Of inhaling second-hand smoke? No, thanks.” Tadashi laughs, but he tosses Kei a sideways glance. Tadashi knows him well enough to know that Kei wouldn’t voluntarily stand outside with a smoker unless he was particularly fond of them.
“Aw, man, I thought you quit?” Hinata pipes up, tilting his head.
“I did, hot stuff,” you respond, sitting down on the couch. “Don’t worry. I won’t smoke anymore.”
Hinata huffs and Kei takes the opportunity to sit down next to you.
His thigh is pressed against yours, warmth seeping through his pants and into his skin. Kei feels like he could explode. You’re so close to him again, closer than before, and he can’t stop replaying the kiss in his head. He’s desperate for it, fidgety with his desire. He keeps thinking about the hot press of your mouth and the languid motion of your tongue. All he can imagine is the few points of contact between you both, mouth and hands, and how badly he wanted it to be more. He needs it.
You touch him a few times throughout the night and the tension is so palpable that Kei is convinced he can see it. It’s like there is a rope pulled taut between the two of you. If he doesn’t stick his ground, he’ll go flying towards you, grabbing and touching and taking in the way he’s desperate to now.
After an hour, his friends begin to grow restless. Their faces are flushed with alcohol and the things they’d been amusing themselves with are no longer enough stimulation.
“Hey, we’re going out to the bars. Who’s coming?” Hinata speaks up.
A chorus of agreement rings out, but the last thing Kei wants to do is go out.
“I think I’ll probably stay back and start cleaning,” he says somewhat disdainfully. “It’s a mess in here,” Kei tosses you a small glance. It’s unintentional but he’s glad for it because Kei is hoping that you’ll stay back with him, that you both can pick up where you left off.
“I’ll stay and help too. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow anyway,” you smile and Hinata pouts.
“You guys are so boring,” he protests. “Leave the mess for tomorrow and come out with us.”
“I’ll pass, pipsqueak,” Kei scoffs.
“Fine, but don’t complain to me when you’re full of regret tomorrow,” he points a finger at Kei and then moves it over to you. “And you’re too nice for your own good.”
“Do you hear that?” You say, beginning to usher the group to the door. “I think it’s the sound of the bar and all that alcohol calling to you guys.”
“You guys are so full of shit-” Kageyama starts, speaking up for the first time in a while, but Kei just waves him out.
“Yeah yeah, let the grown ups clean while you guys have fun. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
The rope is so taut between you both that it’s unbearable and by the time the door closes, you are spinning around on your heel toward Kei.
“We’re not cleaning, right?”
Kei shakes his head and starts towards you. The tension breaks when his hands find your hips and he hungrily leans down to press his mouth against yours.
This kiss is different from the first, desperate and full of desire. It’s fast and your mouths move together quickly as he starts to walk you back towards his bedroom, his hands eagerly roaming up and down your hips. Vaguely, he acknowledges that his glasses have been moved out of place, but he pays it no mind as you turn the knob to his bedroom door with your back to it.
There’s an urgency to his movements. Kei feels it in his chest, this desperate desire to be closer, to consume everything that you’ve laid out in the palm of his hand. You stumble backwards into his room and Kei catches your shifted weight with a hand around your waist. His other hand comes up to cup your cheek, feeling the warm skin on your jaw and neck. His fingers tremble where they touch you, half out of desperate need and half out of the nerves that threaten to spill from his mouth. His lips though, are occupied with yours, clicking together, all tongue and teeth.
Kei kisses sloppily down your jaw, his lips smearing across your cheek and dipping down below your ear. He sucks a trail there, unsure if he’s leaving marks, all the way down to your collarbone. Every part of you tastes better than he’d expected it to and with every push he delivers, you pull.
You make small sounds, little pants and groans that make Kei’s hair stand on end with wanting. Your voice, so familiar and fond to him, spills out in small, breath-like bursts that make Kei want to coax more out of you. Kei’s never been one to want this way, but right now, it’s all that he feels. So much tension and impulse that he feels like he can hardly control himself.
You reach blindly behind you for the bed and Kei guides you down, placing his hand on one side of you as you sit. Then, without disconnecting your lips, he guides you up toward the wall.
He feels the cool tips of your fingers at the hem of his shirt, pulling downward and then upward to get him to take it off. Kei obliges you, leaning back on his knees and pulling it off over the top of his head. You eye him for a moment, the two of you slowing down enough as the urgency settles into something heavy and lingering.
Kei leans forward again, one of his hands reaching for your hip. He slips his fingers underneath the hem of your shirt, sliding his long fingers up your stomach as he kisses you again. You’re so soft and he can feel the way your chest heaves against his palm. His touch is feather light and he slides it up evenly until it reaches just below your breast. When you nod, Kei moves it up over your bra and he feels you shudder. Kei does the same, overwhelmed by your pliability.
He can feel the goosebumps that have raised on your skin, little pinpricks of skin that indicate that some part of you feels good. When Kei squeezes your breast, you gasp into his moan and he groans his response, letting you bite at his bottom lip.
He feels you suck at his lips and swipe your tongue along the ridge of his mouth. When he opens it to let you in, he’s overtaken by the warmth of the soft muscle. He groans, tilting his head down to kiss you deeper, letting the taste of you spread over his mouth. It’s hot and your breath fans across his face.
Kei hands drift from your breasts along the sides of your body. He feels the heave of your breath there against your warm skin, his palms resting on your waist. You raise your knees, the sides of them pressing against Kei’s hips. He shifts downwards slowly, dragging his mouth along your skin, past the cloth of your shirt.
His hands make their way from your waist to your hips as he dips lower. Kei takes off his glasses, already fogged up and in the way. When he meets your eyes, you nod your permission and Kei slips between your legs, his flat palms moving to spread your thighs.
You’re so warm and soft, so pliable in a way that Kei can’t articulate. It makes his mouth water with his desperation and he’s grown hard against the bedspread beneath him.
“Touch me,” you breathe out.
Kei nods into your stomach, looping his fingers around our waistband, and pulls down your pants. Your panties come with it and it’s with a slight wave of regret that he realizes he won’t get to see the way you stick to them.
When he sees you, his heart leaps into his throat. His eagerness and his nerves catch up to him and he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. You shudder when the air hits your exposed cunt, an unintentional side effect of Kei’s nerves that has him grinding down against the bedspread.
He slides his palm to rest over your center. It’s warm and sticky, wet beyond what Kei had imagined and he gingerly presses a finger between your folds. You gasp, mouth falling open above him. Then, he slides his finger into you to the first knuckle, curling up. Kei goes deeper on the second pump, curling his whole finger inside of you and feeling the way you tighten around him.
You arch your back up off the bed and Kei groans and rolls his eyes, resting his head on the inside of your exposed thigh. He curls his fingers in you, watching the way they coat with your pleasure. His eyebrows are knit together, like he’s asking whether you like how he touches you or not, and you seem to pick up on his insecurity, nodding your head before letting it tip back against Kei’s pillows.
Kei thinks your expression is incredible. Your eyebrows pull up in the center, pretty face twisted and mouth slightly open in an expression of undeniable pleasure. Kei’s stomach winds at the look of it and he ruts his hips against the mattress to quell the growing ache of need. His fingers, which curl at a slow and even pace inside of you, are warm with your enjoyment. It leaks between his knuckles, sliding down the back of his hand like a slow moving syrup. He wonders whether you have more to give and how you taste, his gaze slinking from your face to the place just above where his fingers disappear.
He lowers his mouth to you without thinking, curious and needing the taste of it. Sure enough, you have more to give. Your voice comes quickly, a small gasp that is stifled by the back of your hand when he sucks sharply on your clit. Your hips push forward against his hands and then you arch up off the mattress with a small cry. Kei wonders if you’ve cum. He wonders if he’s sent you over the edge, but if he has, you’re taking all of it so well that he doesn’t dare stop.
The taste of you spreads on his tongue, tangy and warm. You invade his senses violently, like you are gripping his throat. Kei holds his mouth to you, pressing the length of his cock into the mattress and moving his hips like he plans to fuck it.
He moves his free hand down your thigh and onto the inside of your leg. Your skin is so soft. It’s so vulnerable, something easily pierced and bled. Kei’s pointer finger rubs gentle circles there, feeling the slight pull of the soft skin with his fingers, so thin that it almost feels like tissue paper. He’s sure that with a little pressure, you would bruise.
The thought surprises him. He works his tongue across your clit and his fingers against that gummy spot inside of you, but his mind drifts to the softness of your inner thigh, the way it would be so easy to leave a spot that might hurt later when you press on it, remind you of exactly where he was. Then, Kei pinches you on the inside of your thigh and when you cry out, tightening around his fingers with a tapered moan, he pinches you again, harder this time.
You whimper slightly, like you like it. No, you sound like you love it and Kei finds himself holding back a choked moan as he tries not to cum prematurely. He pinches along the inside of your legs and around the back. Not too much. Only when he feels like it. Only when he wants to hear what kind of sounds you’ll make.
“K-Kei wait, wait,” you pant, grabbing him by his tufts of blonde hair. It hurts. He doesn’t think you mean to hurt him, but it doesn’t matter. He likes it and he twitches in his pants.
“Huh?” He hums, detaching from your clit and slowing the movement of his fingers to a halt. Your legs shake around his handiwork. “You okay?”
“I’ll cum if you keep going like that,” you breathe, screwing your eyes shut like you’re still on the edge. “Drag it out for me, yeah?”
Kei furrows his eyebrows and sucks in a sharp breath.
“Cum if you want to.” He tilts his head down to reattach his lips.
“Not yet,” you tug at his hair. “I like chasing it.”
Kei stares at you, unblinking and awestruck. Your chest heaves and despite the pleasure on your face, you look uncomfortable as your orgasm slips away from you. Kei likes that look on your face and he finds himself growing greedy.
“Come here,” you coax him onto the mattress.
Kei watches as you slip your hands into the waistband of his jeans and pull them down, leaving him on his back with his tented boxers exposed. You crawl down his body and settle between his legs with your arms between his thighs. He shudders when you run your hands up them and he briefly sees his boxers jump.
You smile, pressing your mouth to him through his boxers. Kei can’t stifle the groan that escapes him and heat floods his face when you raise your eyebrows in response.
“You don’t have to,” he says through gritted teeth as you slip the waistband of his boxers down.
“But I want to,” you mumble, taking him in your hand and placing a kiss on the side of his dick.
Kei’s head falls back against the pillow and he swears under his breath when he feels the warmth of your mouth close around the tip of him. He jerks his head up to see, awestruck by the way your lips look around the head of his cock.
For some reason, Kei is already so sensitive. He feels everything, and when you swipe the tip of your tongue along his slit as you bob your head, he makes a noise he didn’t think he could make. His fingers knot themselves in the bed sheets, white knuckled and trembling while you bob your head over him.
Your mouth is so warm and wet. It’s a little messy, dripping down the length of him and onto his balls. Kei feels the warmth, the heat of you. He can still taste you on his tongue. Kei can still feel the stickiness left behind from your arousal on his mouth. The combination of you between his legs and the taste of you on his tongue is overwhelming.
Kei can feel his orgasm growing in his lower stomach, turning over until he’s bringing his long fingers to your head in an effort to steady himself. There’s nothing he can do but give in, watching you through damp eyes as you watch his expression.
It’s embarrassing how quickly he cums. It doesn’t take long and he teeters on the edge for a few moments before fully cresting over. Kei can’t help the way he lifts his hips from the mattress, his voice caught in his throat as it hooks on a high pitched groan. His voice cracks and he feels the way his cum collects on your tongue and across the tip of his dick in your mouth.
“Fuck,” he mutters, red faced and panting, “I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean to finish so quickly, you’re just-”
“It’s fine,” you come up, your eyes glassed over and lust-filled. “I like making you feel good.”
“Yeah but-”
“No buts,” you crawl over him and straddle his waist. Kei winces when your weight briefly nudges his cock. “There’s still fun to be had. Can I kiss you?”
He nods and you lean down to do as you’d asked. Your tongue moves slowly against his, less desperate this time, like you’re trying to work him down and back up again. You place your hands on his chest, settling your weight down so that your bare cunt is pressed against his sensitive cock. Kei thinks he might die.
He brings his hands to your waist, the fatigue creeping from his bones as he digs the pads of his fingers into your fleshy sides. You draw in a breath when he does and it makes Kein feel like he’s tipping sideways with arousal. Everything that you do, right down to the involuntary twitch of your hips or eyebrows, is sexy.
Kei turns you over, growing hard between your legs again, and gently pins you to the mattress. He kisses you for a moment longer, his lips working clumsily across yours before he pulls away to catch his breath and find his bearings.
You chase him with your mouth, tilting your head up to kiss him. Kei feels his chest swell with arousal and his cock strains almost painfully against his pants as he peers at you. You’re so pretty. Everything about you is so pretty. On his chest, he can feel your fingers, splayed over his pecks, across his collarbone, and grazing the side of his neck. He leans closer, loving the pressure of your body and the desperation that pours from your skin.
Kei kisses you again. He kisses you the way he wanted to outside, dipping his tongue into your mouth with a desperation that he can taste. You take control back, reaching between the two of you, and Kei shifts himself upward instinctually to give you access to him. He feels your fingers fumble for him and there’s a pause in which Kei doesn’t know what to do. He wonders if this might be the part of him that you like. The awkward part, the one that doesn’t know what to do. Kei’s thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of your hand wrapping around him and tugging upward.
His head drops and a low groan escapes his lips before he can even think to stop it. Kei’d almost forgotten his sensitivity, how desperately he wants to be touched, how overwhelming it feels. He shivers, looking down at where your hand wraps around him and pumps. When he looks back up, he finds that you’re looking at his face, your eyes glassed over and observant as you commit all of his expressions to memory.
“What?” he says, letting out a shuddering breath and the slight overstimulation.
“Your face is red,” you reach up with your free hand to run your thumb along his cheek.
Kei huffs, dropping his head and you fiddle with something between the two of you.
“No,” you pick his chin up. “I like it. It’s cute.”
You tighten your grip around him and Kei feels his expression twist, a new rush of heat and desire flooding his belly as he realizes you’re sliding a condom onto him. Then, you guide the tip of him between your legs and he feels the wet press of your entrance against him.
“Christ,” he groans.
You smile slightly, shifting your hips a little and then placing your hands on his shoulders. Kei pushes forward slowly, his thighs twitching. It takes everything he has to keep from cumming again and every muscle in his body screams with a desire to let go.
Kei is so overwhelmed, partially because you feel so good, but also because there is some part of him that knows this feels different. Kei feels different about you, about being intimate with you, than he has with anyone else. There’s something alive in him, something with its own mind. Something greedy and vulnerable that stirs when your face is this close to him, when he’s buried all the way in you to the base of his cock. Emotional and sensitive, Kei feels it kick.
His first instinct is to run. Agreeing to let himself like you, to let himself do something about it, was not agreeing to letting something live inside of him. Kei’s first thought when he registers the difference is to cut it off and suffocate it so that it stops thumping against his chest. He’d grown so used to the hollow feeling that the feeling of living emotion makes him nervous, it puts him on edge. But when he pulls out a few inches and fucks back into you, the anxiety dispels into insurmountable pleasure. A pleasure Kei can’t describe, something fulfilling and whole.
He picks up his pace, letting himself do what he wants while you grip his shoulders with blunted nails. He likes the expression you wear. Truthfully, he likes all of your expressions, but this one is new. Pressure and pleasure, a newness to the feel of him inside of you that you can’t quite keep from your eyes or lips. He kisses you as if he could taste it, slipping his tongue between your lips.
“I really like you,” you mumble against his mouth, breath hot as it fans across his cheeks.
Kei’s heart hammers and his hips stutter a little.
“Me too,” he chokes, trying to think about volleyball to stave off a second orgasm. All that comes to mind though, is you.
“Are you close again?” you breathe, voice laden with pleasure.
“I have been since we started,” Kei admits.
“Cum then,” you say softly, reaching behind his head to pull his mouth back to yours. Kei likes the control you exhibit. He groans his approval.
“You first,” he mutters.
There’s this possessive part of Kei that wants to watch you fall apart on him. He wants to see it, to watch you feel good too and commit it to memory so that he can always keep it. He thinks it’s a pride thing, something attached to his desire to succeed, to his reliability. Maybe though, it’s just because he thinks it’ll look hot.
He reaches down and lifts one of your legs up by the back of your knee, pressing it down to give himself better access. You whine and Kei feels the way you clench down around him, your fingers knitting into the hair at the back of his neck. It hurts in a good way.
Kei slips his hand between you, rubbing circles on your clit to get you there faster. Frankly, he doesn’t know how much longer he can last like this, staring down at your face while it twists with pleasure. You’re so attractive to him. Everything about you is sexy. It makes Kei a little crazy.
He listens as your breathing quickens, as your voice wavers further. He feels the way your cunt begins to flutter faster, pulsing around him until you attempt to cry out and warn him. Then, you clamp down around him, arching your hips up off the mattress and pulling at his hair. Kei moves his head with you, relishing in the way you tug and scratch.
He builds up to his orgasm so fast that it hurts. There’s pressure and then the mounting feeling of nearing the top, and then the peak and crash. He cums so hard that it hurts, pushing his cock as far as it will go into you and feeling the warm spill of his cum in the condom. He moans a long, drawn out sound that you mimic, his fingers knitting into the pillow behind you and his head dropping so that his lips sit near your neck.
He lets out a shaky breath, letting himself sit inside of you for a moment. You turn his head towards yours and kiss him. It’s gentle. A smooth and languid kiss that neither of you moves to deepen. Your lips move against each other and Kei closes his eyes to savor the taste.
You tap his shoulder and Kei rolls over onto the bed beside you, snapping the condom off with a small wince and tying it up in a quick motion. He places it in the trash bin beside the bed. When he turns over, you’re already moving to slip under his arm, resting your head on his chest.
There’s a passing moment of silence, not unlike the ones you both have fallen into before and you sigh lightly against his exposed chest. Kei follows suit, watching the way you move with his breath.
His skin is sticky against yours and Kei can vaguely register the smell of sweat in the room. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since everyone left, nor does he know when they’ll be back, but he estimates that it won’t be more than an hour. Kei briefly wishes that he could pause time so that he can stay here with you, just like this.
“I’m not good at this kind of stuff,” Kei admits quietly.
“What stuff?” You ask, tracing your finger along the ridges of his lean abdomen.
“Liking people,” he says. “Dating.”
You give a small laugh. “No offense, Kei, but I could tell that from the moment I met you.”
“Shit, seriously?”
“Duh,” you breathe out. “It’s a little charming to me, though. I like that part of you.”
So it’s true. You like the parts of Kei that he’s always worried were the worst of him.
“Huh,” he says. “Could you tell?”
“That you like me?” You ask, shifting your head to look at him. “Yeah, it was obvious after we established that you didn’t hate me. I always noticed you staring in the library.”
“Really? I thought I was being a little slick with that,” Kei feels heat and color flood his face.
You let out a good-natured laugh. “People can always tell when someone’s staring, Kei. It’s like a sixth sense.”
“Good to know. Hindsight is 20/20 and all.”
Another bout of silence follows.
“You can keep staring though,” you say, “if you want to. And calling.”
“Okay,” Kei responds, “I didn’t really plan on stopping.”
“Ha, freaky,” you laugh a little and Kei reaches up to flick the side of your head. “Wanna start going out?”
Kei thinks about this for a moment. He thinks about being able to hold your hand, brush hair out of your face, watch movies on the couch and fix your breakfast the next morning. Then he thinks about not being able to do those things.
“I think I’d be a little upset if we didn’t,” he admits.
“Good,” you say. “Me too.”
He’s fighting off sleep. His eyelids are heavy and he tries to blink away the shroud of rest that’s falling over him. Kei knows you’re fighting it too. Your breathing goes in and out of that familiar breathing that comes with sleep. Kei likes the way it sounds coming from you, restful and quiet.
“We should… really get up to clean just a little,” he mumbles.
“Five more minutes,” you say softly, your voice heavy and laden with drowsiness.
“Okay,” he says.
It’s just five more minutes. Kei fights sleep to hear you breathe like this a little longer.
—
There’s a period after which Kei doesn’t know what to do with himself. Like the awkward start to a new hobby or passion, Kei finds himself enthralled with his budding relationship while simultaneously stumbling continuously along the way. You’re gracious with him though, letting him make mistakes and fumble until he finds his footing.
It’s all very awkward for him, very new. He finds that it’s easier to just do the nice things he wants to do for you than to agonize over it and slowly, he begins to grow comfortable in the relationship that took you both so long to begin.
At first, only Tadashi knew about you both. Kei thought that there was no point in hiding it from him, since you were over at the apartment all the time. Of course, Tadashi somehow already knew. That’s how it usually goes anyway, and Kei is relieved to find that his internal change did not trigger some global shift that would turn his life upside down. Everything is normal, save for the fact that Kei now tries to love without hindrance.
Kei discovers that he’s possessive. That’s a new trait of his that he didn’t know belonged to him. Before you, before Kei had found something he so desperately wanted to keep, he’d been rather detached. Possessiveness was rare because Kei hardly ever got attached enough to want. Now though, he wants so badly that it hurts. You lean into it. Kei suspects that you like it when he wards off people who hit on you, when he pouts a little because he wants to be close to you, when he gets a little jealous. Kei doesn’t really mind it either. After all, despite his possessiveness, he never feels insecure. The both of you make sure of that.
This sunny period with you, the one Kei worried would only last a week, drifts easily from one month into two and before he knows it, it’s been five. Kei had worried about that fundamental change. The one imperceivable to the human eye. He’d worried that slowly, it would begin to spoil what is so good between the two of you.
“Kei,” you snap him out of it, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you okay?”
He sets down his cup of tea, barely touched. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet?” You give him a wry smile. “This was your idea, after all.”
“Yeah, well it was a pretty shit idea actually,” he breathes, “My parents aren’t exactly easy.”
“You want to cancel?” You ask, your eyebrows pulling up in a clumsy attempt to hide your disappointment. Kei can see right through it.
“No,” he shakes his head. “I want you to meet them. I just don’t want you to meet them.”
The truth of it is that Kei would like to cancel. In an ideal world, one where the sun rises on the opposite side of his bedroom window, he’d forget the whole thing and take you out to get dinner and see a movie. Things would be simpler that way, less uncomfortable for the both of you. But as uncomfortable as it is, Kei wants you to be a part of their lives too. You’re too important to not introduce to his parents and Kei can’t see it any other way, though he’d like to.
You snort. “What does that even mean?”
Kei gives you a pointed and somewhat irritated look.
“Okay, sorry,” you raise your hands defensively and walk over to place them on his shoulders. “I know you’re worried, but I think it’s going to be okay. I’m excited.”
Kei huffs out a laugh, unable to vocalize his nerves in their totality. “Excited to meet my dysfunctional, divorced parents that kind of hate each other?”
“Yup. I’m excited to meet the people who raised you.”
Kei smiles a little. “You should meet Akiteru, then,” It’s an exaggeration, but for some reason the prospect of seeing both of his parents together has him feeling a little more bitter than usual, even if it was his idea.
You give him a little grin through narrowed eyes. There’s an understanding that passes from you to him, like you’re acknowledging that you haven’t forgotten what he’d told you nearly six months ago. Kei feels the tension in his shoulders relax a little.
His parents are already at the restaurant when he arrives. It’s a swanky Italian place. The kind you go to on birthdays or for anniversaries, where the pasta dishes are things like lobster mushroom ravioli or truffle oil fettucini in tiny portions. Kei made sure to book somewhere that his parents would have trouble making a scene in, not that they ever had much of a mind for decorum when they were married. He’s surprised to find them chatting cordially when you both arrive.
“Kei,” his mother stands from the table and crosses to give him a hug. He pats her back gently.
“Hi Mom,” Kei responds and she gives him a small smile.
Kei’s dad adjusts the lapel of his suit, the same one he’s had for years, and reaches to give him a hug around one shoulder.
“Guys,” he inhales, “This is my partner, _____.”
You grin at Kei and then introduce yourself formally to his parents. Kei watches in awe as you blend right in, like you’ve known them for many years. He sits down while trying to keep the nerves from his face.
“We’re so happy to meet you,” his mother starts, “Kei’s never introduced us to any of his partners before.”
“I’m the first?” You smile a little, raising an eyebrow at Kei as if to tease him.
“There really haven’t been that many to begin with,” Kei grumbles as if that somehow makes it better.
You laugh again and the ball of conversation begins rolling. His mother tells you how pretty you are and his father nods a quieter approval. They talk about his university’s graduation ceremony, which they attended separately, as if they were together the entire time and then ask about your major, if you graduated with him, where you plan on going. You tell them what you want to do and that you want to go wherever Kei goes. He marvels at how smoothly the evening moves onward.
There are moments where the tension in his family becomes obvious. Little swells or comments that bring up a sour or shameful memory that cannot be ignored. Moments when the air thickens and it feels like the hammer is about to come down. It never does though. The tension, rather than snapping, simply fades away.
He’d expected everything to blow up for some reason. Kei had expected that, like his childhood, the restaurant dishes would end up smashed on the floor. The glassware always ended up broken in the house, why shouldn’t they be broken here to shatter the illusion of things being good? He braces himself for a ball that never drops.
It takes him until the ride home, after a successful dinner, to realize that the dishes haven’t been smashed in years. Not since he was fourteen and his parents fought for custody. Not since his mother got remarried to her now husband almost 6 years ago and his father met his new wife. Kei wonders why he still feels like he lives in that house. The one his parents were at their worst in. Why can’t he feel like he lives in the apartment he rents with Tadashi?
“I think that went well,” you say softly on the drive back.
Kei nods his agreement. “I think so too.”
You don’t bring up the fact that they didn’t fight, or that they spoke about their new kids with each other as if they were old friends. You don’t accuse Kei of being wrong, of being paranoid even though he most definitely was.
“I’m glad that I got to meet them,” you say. “You look so much like your mom.”
“Really?” Kei asks.
“Yeah, you’ve got her eyes and her nose,” you smile a little. “It makes you two look similar.”
“Huh,” he says. “I never really gave that much thought.”
Kei turns the idea that he has his mother’s face over in his head. He’d spent so much time dreading that he was like them on the inside, that he never paused to consider the outside. So much of his life has been spent worrying that he’s just like them. That he breaks the plates and lashes out and acts cruelly even when he’s trying to love. But he has his mother’s eyes and for some reason that unsettles him. It’s like evidence.
“You don’t really act like them though,” you say as if on cue. “You’re a little gentler.”
“Me? Gentle?” Kei scoffs.
“Yeah!” you say. “I mean, sure you’re prickly, but there’s a goodness to you that’s really obvious if you look.”
Goodness. What a strange word to use to describe someone. Kei thinks that if there’s any goodness in him, if there’s anything that hasn’t been tainted by his parents’ sour personalities, it’s from Akiteru. Kei likes to believe that whatever good he got was from him. No matter how strained his relationship with him might be now, Kei is certain of that.
“That’s a relief,” he admits in a flat tone.
After a long pause, he speaks again. “Thanks.”
“For what?” You laugh.
“Bearing with me… and with them,” he says. “Couldn’t have been easy.”
“It was easy,” you say. “Because I wanted to meet them. And I care about you.”
Kei feels color rise to his cheeks. He turns to look in the sideview mirrors as he pulls the car into a parking spot in his apartment complex’s garage.
“You say that stuff so easily,” he huffs.
“What? That I care about you?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I do,” you laugh a little.
Kei’s face grows hotter and he distracts himself by putting the car into park and taking the key out of the ignition.
“Me too,” he says quietly, waiting for you to catch up so that he can take your hand in his. “Sorry that I don’t say it a lot.”
“Not to be rude,” you say, “but even if you never said it at all, it would be obvious. You’re kind of a sucker.”
Kei supposes that that’s true and he gives a small laugh before nudging your shoulder with his. The parking garage is humid and stuffy, but he holds your hand in it anyway.
—
You’re half asleep in bed beside him and your breathing comes in even sweeps the way it does just before you fall asleep. Kei listens to it for a moment, admiring the sound of it and the way your chest feels expanding against his.
He thinks about dinner, about how good it feels to have introduced you. How real it makes this relationship feel despite the uneasiness surrounding his familial situation. Kei thinks about his parents. He thinks about their inability to be good for each other. He thinks about the worst of them, something he’s familiar with, before thinking about the best of them. Kei imagines the way their faces looked at dinner, talking about the children they’re raising properly. They’re good people, they just made each other bad. Molecular shifts that changed them for the worst. The notebook theory in its most frightening form. But they were good too.
Kei thinks about loving you. His reluctance to do so originally isn’t quite beyond him yet. He’s unsure, in fact, if he’ll ever really get past the fear of the fall, the fear of becoming what his parents made each other. But he also thinks about his promise to love you for real. Love is not something that Kei does. He knows now that it's something that happens to him, like it happened to his parents. They loved each other once, even if it made them so blind that they couldn’t see just how bad it made them.
Kei still resents the fact that he was born to fix a marriage that never would have worked in the first place. He resents being a fix rather than a gift, but at the very least, his existence is proof that his parents cared enough about their family to try. Even if it was misguided, at least they tried even a little.
In the quiet after of an emotionally charged evening, loving you seems like an easier task for him now. It’s not hard to love you. What’s hard, Kei thinks, is not hurting you. He carries a lot of baggage that, for a long while, felt like too much. Kei thinks he can manage if it’s for you. He’ll bear the brunt of it. He’ll put in the work.
Yes, Kei is his parents’ son, but he’s also Tadashi’s friend, Akiteru’s brother, the person who loves you. He doesn’t live in the house with a bin full of shards and no glassware anymore.
“Are you awake?” He whispers across the pillow.
“Mhm,” you hum, pushing your cheek into his arm.
“Let’s move in together,” he says.
You tense against him and slowly attempt to blink away sleep. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he responds. “I want to live with you.”
“Okay then,” you smile a little. “Let’s do it.”
—
In the fall, when his lease with Tadashi ends and his friend gives him a tearful, yet somewhat silly goodbye, Kei moves into your new shared apartment. Two small rooms in a modest part of town, a shared kitchen and living room, one bathroom, a mismatch of furniture from both of your old places, and an empty fridge. The first night is spent eating take out on the floor with you in front of a TV with no proper stand. Kei has never been happier.
And in the morning, when the sun comes through the slats of his window, broken up into gentle dots by the orange-leaved trees outside, Kei rises slowly. He rises gently. Kei doesn’t want to wake you, not before he’s made breakfast. He pads out to the kitchen, where boxes are strewn about, half unpacked, and grabs the little brown notebook from the box it’s been temporarily living in. In it, he writes a grocery list full of the things you like. It’s a good enough reason, a good enough change.
The notebook theory.
#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima x reader smut#tsukishima kei x reader smut#hq x reader#tsukishima smut#tsukishima kei smut#tsukishima kei fic#[ 📕 – writing ]#she is finally finished i hope u enjoy and that u find it romantic and fulfilling#tw: overstimulation#i may add more warnings and such if i remember to#and pls lmk if i forgot any
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Haikyuu x F!Reader Headcannons ! ♡
Includes : Tobio Kageyama , Kei Tsukishima & Tadashi Yamaguchi
Tobio Kageyama
I headcannon that before you he's like barely ever even looked at a girl nevermind dated one so he's very inexperienced with everything !
He would be super shy to kiss or anything so everytime you would try and kiss him he'd swerve away and just stare into the distance in shame of himself.
Soon he got the hang of it and now you can't get him to stop kissing you. Before practice? He needs a kiss to prepare. After practice? Needs a kiss to unwind. Lunch? How is he supposed to focus without a kiss? He just doesn't stop!! (but it's okay because he's cute ♡)
When you guys have been together for a while he loves to just lay down in bed with you all snuggled up and whine about his day whether it's him whining about Hinata's shitty receives or how much he missed you whilst you stroke his hair and rub your hand soothingly across his back.
He always tries getting you involved in volleyball so he'll randomly just come up to you with a ball in hand ready to practice with you despite your constant reminders that you barely know the basics nevermind his level of playing. (He doesn't go easy on you though and will tell you if you were shit. But will come back to practice with you again either way ♡)
I imagine he doesn't tend to use a lot of petnames mainly because he's worried he'll call you it infront of his teammates and they'll never let it go but when you're alone together he'll slip out a "baby" and "angel" here and there and it never fails to leave butterflies in your stomach.
Kei Tsukishima
Same as Kageyama I don't think he's very experienced with relationships but he's read a few romance books here and there and has some natural charm that helps him get by.
He's not a fan of PDA at all and thinks it's just embarassing but sometimes he'll connect your hands together and place them in his coat pocket or he'll connect your pinkies together when walking home. And the only kisses you'll get out in public is a quick peck to the forehead if he's scoped out the area to be sure no one he knows is there.
He LOVES to rest his head against you whether it's your back, chest or neck he really doesn't care he'll just plonk his head down and snuggle into you. He loves the feeling of having you against him like that, it calms him down.
Whenever you're gonna meet up to hang out, sleepover or just school he'll bring your favourite drink or snack and just shove it at you and not say a word (you know better than to say anything either ♡)
He really cherishes the moments where you two just lay down in his bed all cuddled up, you resting against his chest and his hand in your hair just enjoying the feeling of eachother and the comfortable silence you can only get when together.
Whenever you steal his glasses and put them on yourself he may act annoyed but deep down he loves it so much (And in those moments he really curses his bad vision because he literally cannot see you but can sense that you look adorable)
I don't see him as the type of guy who's big on petnames. If anything, he thinks they're stupid. Butttt, If you're shorter than him he'll call you petnames like "Shorty" and "Pipsqueak" and if you're a big fan of petnames he'll let a few "love" and "darling" slip by just for you ♡
Tadashi Yamaguchi
My passenger princess oh how much I love him
I imagine he's a very big fan of Romantic movies so he knows how to flirt a little but he doesn't actually have any experience with dating, maybe he had a wedding on his schools playground when he was like 6 if that counts!
He obviously overthinks here and there so whenever he needs to ground himself you'll just feel his hand on your lower back, pinching the tip of your sleeve or in your hair.
He's not against PDA but he's also not for it. Like he's not afraid of a few pecks here and there and a hand around your waist but he won't be the type of guy to wear a shirt with your face on it, that's far too embarassing for him.
He hates it when people underestimate him for things which makes him work himself harder to prove his worth. This causes him to burn himself out quickly but no matter how much you yell at him he won't change cause at the end of the day you always hold him and rub circles into his back whilst playing his favourite show.
He loves to call you petnames, but only in private. He loves to call you his "angel" and "honey" mostly but calls you "baby" from time to time. If you two are joking around he'll say really stupid names like "my boo boo bear" or "my pookie schnookie" with a stupid dopey grin on his face ♡
He's happy to play whatever you want whenever. Especially roblox! He loves to play 2 player tycoons and 2 player obbies with you the most but also plays Dress to Impress and Flicker with you.
Your first kiss together was embarassing to say the least. When kissing he accidently bumped your head really hard with his own, leaving a bump. He would not stop apologising for the next week until the bump on your head finally went down. (To this day he cringes when thinking about it but can't help but smile)
Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you liked them. I still have like a million other headcannons for these boys but I can't fit them all here ♡ This was my first time properly posting so I hope it looks okay !! This was super fun so I'll definitely be posting more characters soon. If you have any requests please let me know and I'll do them. Thank you!
#lovettery °•☆#Haikyuu x reader#Kageyama x reader#Tsukishima x Reader#Yamaguchi x Reader#Tobio Kageyama#Kei Tsukishima#Tadashi Yamaguchi#Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu#anime#Volleyball#Headcannon#Haikyuu Headcannons#X Reader
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love affair. [tsukishima kei x f!reader] chapter three.
>>The unsavory reputation that Tsukishima Kei has built for himself as the Sendai Frogs' rudest rookie puts his upcoming contract renewal at risk
or
Tsukki really needs a girlfriend, and you really need everyone to stop calling you his pathetic, pining best friend<<
series status: [complete]
previous. || masterlist.
a/n: dont talk to me about that scene after he wakes up and gets angry in her bed okay dont fucking talk to me about it,,,,, that was the filthiest non-smut scene ive ever written
[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]
---------------------------------------
Kei stays at your apartment until the end of the semester.
He goes home a couple times a week, of course – he has to do laundry, and he and Yamaguchi have a pre-set Tuesday night plan of sitting on the couch and playing video games until it’s late enough that Tadashi almost always sleeps through his first class on Wednesdays.
But… he somehow finds himself in your bed every other night of the week.
The first two weeks or so, he comes up with excuses.
‘ It’s getting cold, and your heating hasn’t kicked in yet. ’
‘ If I go home this late, it’ll wake Yamaguchi. ’
‘ We’re going out in the morning, anyway. It only makes sense. ’
He does it until, one morning, you roll over and lean your chin on his chest, looking up at him with those doe eyes he likes so much.
‘ You do realize I’ve already agreed to let you keep staying here, right? We talked about it that first morning.’
He’d remembered. He just hadn’t been sure if you’d meant it. But since you’d brought it up again, he’d stopped asking. He’d just allowed himself to get used to falling asleep and waking up next to you.
It makes sleeping on his own for two nights a week utter hell. He can’t get to sleep no matter what he tries. The only thing that works is falling asleep on a video call with you, like a stupid, lovesick teenager. He’s terrified you’ll tell Kiyoko, who would immediately tell Yamaguchi, who would never let him live it down. But it seems you’re just as shy about it, about the fact that you’ve become dependent on each other to do something as simple as sleep.
And sleep is all you do. He’s never dared to cross a line with you in bed. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t try anything, not there, and he’s stuck to it. He lets himself kiss you stupid on the couch before bed, and in your kitchen when you make him coffee before class, and against the wall of your bathroom when your outfit and makeup look a little too good on you.
But never in bed. It’s too tempting – you’re too tempting. And you have no fucking clue.
You just prance around your apartment in those stupid little shorts, with your stupid little smile and that stupid little way you say his name–
‘ Tsukki!’, your giggle excited and your eyes bright.
‘Hey, Tsukki-’, your tone distracted while you sort through mail.
‘Tsukki…’, your eyes wide and your voice whiny while you ask him for something.
It drives him crazy. It makes him want to grab your face and kiss the pout right off your mouth. It makes him want to buy and do anything you want, even when you want nothing at all. It makes him want to whisper your name and admit things that he shouldn’t.
But nothing makes him want to do any of those things more than when you say his name properly, with a little edge in your voice.
‘ Tsukishima.’ , your hands on your hips and your eyebrows arched in annoyance.
‘I swear, Tsukishima- ’, your breath sharp and shallow because you’re stopping yourself from picking a fight.
‘ Tsukishima… ’, your lips close and your eyes twinkling with amusement, because you remember the things he’d been drunk enough to admit at that party.
When the syllables of his name stack in your mouth like that, he’s overcome with thoughts that one should never have about a friend. Thoughts of pinning you up against the wall and daring you to say his name like that again. Thoughts of bending you over the side of the couch and showing you just how in charge you really are. Thoughts of kissing you in that tiny bed, and then making you cry in it, your face buried in the sheets and his name – ‘ Tsukki, please- ’ – whined so prettily.
But he doesn’t do any of that. He just watches you use his name in that scolding, reprimanding way, and he smiles. He sits there and smiles and pretends that every fiber of his very being isn’t aching to show you how to use that smart ass mouth of yours.
And yet, despite the torture, he stays. He stays, waking up next to you every morning and enduring the pain of your presence, and he has no idea why. Maybe it’s the way you hum to yourself while you make breakfast and wince when your coffee’s too hot, because it somehow always is. Maybe it’s the way you think aloud when you do chores, your grocery list rattled off while you stand in the corner folding laundry. Maybe it’s the way you gravitate toward him as if on some biological clock, every half hour marked by your fingers combing through his hair while he works or your arms wrapping around him from behind while he’s putting his shoes on to leave for practice.
Maybe it’s the way you treat him exactly the same but completely different.
You’re the girl he’s always known, rolling those pretty little eyes and telling him without hesitation when he’s being an idiot. You still judge him when he says stupid shit, and you’re still strong about your boundaries and your ability to hold a grudge. But… something’s different.
You sit closer lately, your legs draped over his knee and your side pressed against his. You let him kiss you even when you’re mad, and sometimes – sometimes — that’s all it takes to get you to forgive him. You call him on your way home from class – not because you have anything specific to say, but because you simply feel like talking his ear off while you walk.
He’s not sure which of these things is the reason he stays, but he thinks about every single one. He thinks about them, and he seeks them out. He calls you on the days that you forget to call him yourself. He takes his headphones off if he sees you go into the kitchen, because the chance of hearing you hum off-key is high. He gravitates to you when you’re too immersed in work to pay attention to him, his body draping over yours. He pulls you into the spot between his legs when you watch TV, because sometimes, having your legs hooked over his knee isn’t enough. Sometimes, he wants your back against his chest and your thighs in his hands, your head against his shoulder and your breathing synchronized with his own.
God, he thinks he’s obsessed with you.
Maybe that’s why – on Friday nights, when Yamaguchi and Kiyoko come over – his roommate always looks at him a little too long, the freckled boy staring in suspicion. Tadashi plays along with Kiyoko’s jokes about the two of you, but his eyes are always narrowed when no one’s looking, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips before he looks away. And, when Kei inevitably mumbles that he’ll be staying the night instead of going home with Yamaguchi, maybe that’s why his roommate always meets his eyes evenly, like he’d been expecting it.
Maybe that’s why, on a Saturday morning in mid-December, he finally gets tired of watching your body insecurity get in the way of everything. In the way of that stupid little smile he’s starting to fall for, in the way of the sweet way you say his name. In the way of you seeing how painfully obvious it is that he’s obsessed with you.
It’s that Saturday morning in mid-December that he finally loses his mind, in that tiny bed with you.
–
He wakes on that cold morning to you shifting beside him, wrapped up in his arms. Your back is pressed to his chest, one of his arms wrapped snugly around your middle and the other tucked under your head. You wriggle against him, and, in his half-groggy state, he genuinely wonders if you’re trying to start something with him (later, he chalks that one up to wishful thinking).
You shift again, your hips moving under his arm, and he hums.
“‘s up?” He says, sighing into your hair and pulling you tighter against him. You curve your back protectively when he does, one of your hands coming down on his wrist.
“Uhm,” You mumble. “Can you… Uhm-”
It’s the discomfort in your voice that clues him into the fact that something���s going on with you.
He peels one eye open and examines you, and, when he still doesn’t understand what’s happening, he opens his other eye and lifts his head. You’re holding your phone with one hand, the screen displaying a comment posted under a photo of the two of you.
[8:54 AM] keisgirl : is it me, or is she gaining weight?????
It’s one of the most-liked comments, with the replies underneath it varying from neutral agreement to outright hateful bullshit.
You haven’t realized that he’s seen your phone. “Could you let me go, please?” You ask, in a voice so small and vulnerable that he’s tempted to listen to you. But he doesn’t, because he knows what this is. This is you falling back in on yourself, closing your body off to him because you don’t want him to touch or look at you.
He sits up quickly, ignoring the noise of surprise you make when his arm slides out from under your head. He snatches your phone away and turns his back to you, scrolling through the comments.
“Tsukki-” You say, recovering and sitting up. You press your chest to his shoulder, reaching for your phone, but he just brushes your hand away, shamelessly pulling up the rest of your open tabs. He knows he shouldn’t, but he needs to check.
Unfortunately, he knows you a little too well.
The Trajectory of Frogs’ Tsukishima Kei’s Relationship with Plus-Sized Girlfriend: Will They Last?
Y/l/n Y/n: In Love or Gold-Digging?
How to Lose Weight in Time for the Holidays
30 Pounds in 30 Days: New Diet Takes World by Storm
Kei’s not sure he’s ever been this angry before. He stares emptily down at your phone, finally letting you pluck it out of his open palm. His hands shake just slightly, and he knows you can see them by how still you are.
“ Tsukki, ” You whisper after a moment. “I-”
“Are you out of your mind?” He says, his voice devoid of emotion.
“I just-”
He whirls on you, eyes alight. “Are you out of your mind , Y/n?” He jabs a finger at your phone. “What are you gonna do, starve yourself because of something that someone on the internet said?”
“It’s not just one person,” You argue weakly. “I’ve been gaining wei-”
“So?” He barks. “So what? I can’t tell.”
You roll your eyes, and he actually feels his eye twitch. “I think you’re a little biased, Tsukki-”
“No,” He says. Laughs, because you’re really going to make him lose it this time. “No, I’m not biased. I’m important.” He rips your phone from your hand again, dropping it on the nightstand as he turns in place and climbs over you. “After everything, you still listen to a bunch of shitheads who know nothing about you. And then you call me biased, because I have an accurate fucking opinion about how you look.”
You gasp when he puts a hand on your shoulder, shoving you down on the mattress. He grabs your thighs and pries them open, settling himself between them. “Why did you want me to let you go, Y/n?”
You swallow hard. “I… I don’t know-”
“You didn’t want me to touch you. Why?” He anchors his hands to your waist, dragging you toward him. “Did you think I was suddenly going to change my mind if I could feel your body? That I was going to feel you under my hands and realize that I was repulsed by you? That I only like you with your clothes on, that I hadn’t considered what might be under them? Is that what you were scared of?”
You don’t answer him for a moment, so he grips your hips tight, his thumbs sure to leave prints on your skin later. “Yes,” You whisper finally, shutting your eyes. “I just… don’t feel pretty-”
“Look at me,” He says, a heated sigh leaving him. You don’t, so he tugs on your thighs hard. “ Look at me, Y/n.”
You pry your eyes open, staring into his own with trepidation.
“Now listen to what I’m about to say to you,” He snaps. “Can you do that, for once ? Or are you going to keep acting stupid? Because I’m not in the habit of having stupid friends.”
Your brow furrows in irritation, and he’s glad to see it. He’s glad to see anything that isn’t that haunting insecurity. He sits back on his heels, keeping his eyes locked on yours.
“What you seem to be fundamentally misunderstanding, Y/n-” He growls. “-is the idea that the way you look and the way you’re shaped is something that is, without a doubt, unattractive. You think your body is something that no one would ever want to touch — you don’t seem to fucking comprehend that some people might like the way you feel.”
He squeezes your hips once. “ Some people might like that they can hold you like this – that the more of you that there is, the more that they can hold while they fuck you.” Your face is starting to turn red, and he feels immense pride for it. He anchors himself to you, shifting his weight and dragging you down against his hips, over and over again. “ Some people want to see what your body looks like when it bounces like this, Y/n-” You’re starting to gasp, and Kei’s unable to stop the way his eyes trail down the length of your body while he moves you.
“Some people are obsessed with the idea of making you look like this,” He says, his own breath coming short for a moment. “Because some people want to rail you, and no one could ever look as good getting railed as you would.”
“Tsukki,” You whisper, your chest rising and falling sharply with each gasp. He stops moving you – lets you breathe for just a moment – and slides his hands up your sides, his palms absorbing the heat in your skin while his fingers fan out greedily over your ribs. Your shirt rises with his movement, and he stops when the fabric is bunched up under your breasts. His fingertips skim the skin there, notably missing that lacy underwire that’s always kept him at bay.
He’d noticed that you don’t wear a bra to bed – of course you don’t, that would be unreasonable to expect, even with him here – but fuck, if he isn’t just now realizing what that means. He chews on the inside of his bottom lip, eyeing you hungrily.
The moment to breathe seems to have been enough for you, because your fingers close around his wrists. His first thought is that you’re stopping him from going further, that maybe he should back off. But you don’t push him away.
If anything, your eyes seem glazed over with desire, your breath still coming a little short.
“ Tsukki ,” You breathe, shifting your hips against his carefully — there’s no way you can’t feel how hard he is right now. Your voice is quiet, like before, but now there’s more. More, like you want him to keep talking to you.
He can do that.
“Do you believe me yet?” He says. His voice shakes with his breath, and he swallows hard to hide how you’re affecting him. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
When you don’t answer him this time, he can’t tell if it’s because you really don’t have an answer, or if it’s because you’re fucking with him. Because the way your eyes drag down his body – the way you open your thighs an inch more and press your hips against his gently, an invitation – makes him think you might be fucking with him.
“I’m just,” You mumble, your legs starting to wrap around his waist. “I dunno, Tsukki.”
You must be fucking with him.
“No?” He says, his hands sliding down to hook under your thighs and peel them off of him. Your eyes widen, his own narrowing. He extracts himself from between your legs, as much as he doesn’t want to, and tosses your legs sideways onto the bed. You gasp, alarmed, and he grips your waist, hoisting you up by force and turning you over. You scramble to catch yourself, your hands and knees hitting the mattress.
“What-”
Kei sits up behind you, finding his place on your hips again and yanking you back. Your ass presses against him, and he holds you there, no matter how hard you wriggle. Your heavy breathing is audible, and he’s thankful for it, because the way you’re moving against him is not making his own breath very quiet at all.
“Still not sure, sweetheart?” He says, flattening a hand against your back and pushing down on it. You collapse on your elbows with a yelp, and he slides his fingers up and takes a fistful of your hair. “How about this-” He snaps his hips forward, feeling his thighs slap against yours and your ass ripple from the force. You choke out a moan, and he does it again, against his better judgment.
“You think the right guy wouldn’t die to feel you like this, Y/n? You think he wouldn’t do anything for a chance to make you sound like this?”
You moan again in response, and his stomach flips with excitement – because the syllables that had just stacked in your mouth were undeniably those of his own name.
He rocks his hips into yours again as he uses his hold on your hair to yank you up. Your breath catches in your throat, and you lift up blindly, so trusting and sweet while he pulls you back against his chest.
“What was that, princess?” He says, breathless and embarrassingly eager. “What’d you say?”
Your lips purse, and he knows he was right, because you’re looking up at him with embarrassment. He releases your hair, his hand coming down to wrap around the column of your throat. He stares down into your eyes, feeling your pulse skip under his palm.
“ Again, Y/n ,” He whispers, watching goosebumps break out over your skin. Two syllables fill your mouth, the same he’d heard the first time.
“ Tsukki.”
He’s so fucked.
Releasing you, he plants a hand on your back and shoves you onto your stomach, handling you roughly as he turns you back around. He clambers between your legs, relishing the way your thighs open and wrap around his waist, so welcoming. He cages you in, hovering over you as he stares. You stare back, eyes wide and breath short.
And then he stops, because he knows he should.
He has to.
“Is this okay?” He whispers, eyes searching your face. You seem taken aback by his question, your brow furrowing.
And then you blink, and your eyes clear.
And, for all that he’s silently begging you to say yes – begging for this to be such a simple choice for you – he’s glad he asked. Because he can see the realization starting to hit you. That this will go somewhere, somewhere fast and irreversible, if you say yes.
You swallow, and then your eyes look away from his, and he takes that as his answer.
“Okay,” He sighs, hanging his head. “Okay.” He starts to lift away from you, but your hands are on his biceps.
“Wait.” You search him anxiously. “Tsukki, I- I just…”
“I know,” He says, nodding. He’s a little disappointed — mostly just a little hard and more than a little horny — but there’s no world in which he’d rather you do something you’re not sure about. “It’s okay. I know. That’s why I asked.”
You look like you want to cry. “Are you mad at me?”
He glares down at you. “Seriously?”
“I feel like I led you on-”
“Y/n, of course I’m not fucking mad at you.” He sighs, slowly extracting himself from between your thighs and sitting beside you. “I’m not that guy-”
“I know!” You sit up on your knees, hands on his shoulders. “I know, Tsukki. I just… Are we good?”
He laughs tiredly, dropping his head back against the wall. “ Yes , Y/n. We’re good. I’m not gonna make you do something you’re not ready for.”
You shake him. “But are we good, Tsukki? Us?”
He looks at you, taking you in. You look so scared. And as much as he wants to yell at you, to snap at you for being this worried that he would be upset with you over this, he knows he can’t. Not when you’re this scared.
“Will you please stop listening to other people? I really can’t keep doing this. I mean it this time,” He says. You pause, and then you nod. He lifts his brows. “You believe me? You trust me?”
You give him a shy laugh, your face radiating heat. “I think you kind of… made it clear what you think. I believe you, Tsukki.”
He tries to fight the blush that’s rising. He’d really lost his mind there. “Then, yes,” is all he says, pushing your hair behind your ear and taking your face in one hand. “We’re good. I promise.”
You sniffle, but you nod, and the doe eyes you give him make his heart skip. “Okay. Thank you. I… I’ll be ready soon, I swear-”
“You don’t have to promise me something like that, Y/n. You don’t have to be ready soon, and it doesn’t even have to be me.” He bumps his forehead against yours, the closest he can come right now to shaking you in frustration.
“It’ll be you,” You admit, glancing away nervously. Kei thinks his heart actually stops in his chest when he hears that.
“You’re… Are you sure?” He says, barely a whisper. “It doesn’t have to be.”
You just laugh, watery and sweet and perfectly capable of killing him where he sits. “Of course it’ll be you. Don’t be stupid.”
“ Me? ” He can’t help but laugh, sharp and full of disbelief. “You’re telling me not to be stupid? Are you joking?”
When he ropes you into his arms and starts berating you for being stupid, you only giggle and let him, and he thinks — not to be dramatic or anything — that he might just do anything to hear that sound for the rest of his life.
He’s so fucked.
–
He goes home later that day, to get some more clothes and because Tadashi’s going home for Christmas.
When he enters the townhouse – brushing off the paparazzi at the gate asking if he plans to move in with you since he’s spending so much time at your place – he finds his roommate rushing around the house in a flurry of open suitcases and screaming.
“Uh-” Kei ducks as a pair of boxers goes flying over his head. “Are you okay ?”
“ I overslept! ” Yamaguchi screeches from upstairs. “ I stayed on the phone with Lev too late last night, and now I’m going to miss the train! ”
Kei lifts his brows, finding a safe place in the armchair and watching the destruction unfold in their living room. “So… things are good with him, then?” Yamaguchi had been on a few dates with the aspiring model since Halloween, and Kei had heard him talking recently about officially seeing him. “Gonna introduce him to your family soon?”
“ You shut your ass! ” Tadashi yells. “ I’d say the same about you and Y/n, but your family already knows her! Didn’t she have a massive crush on Aki when we were kids?! ”
Kei flushes, scrubbing at his brow. “We’re not dating, Dashi,” He murmurs. “And, yes, she did. It was annoying.” Tadashi reenters the room at a high speed, flying down the stairs with clothes piled high in his arms.
“You sure about that?”
“About the two years she was convinced she would marry my brother? Yes, I’m sure.”
“About you dating, dumbass.”
Kei sighs. “I know. I’m sure about that, too.”
“Doesn’t look that way to me or Kiyoko.” His roommate shrugs, reconsidering one of his shirts and tossing it on the couch.
“Yeah?” Kei laughs nervously. “How’s it look?”
“Looks like you’re madly in love with her, to be really honest-” Tadashi cuts off, seeing Kei pick up the throw pillow behind him. “ Don’t give me brain damage right now, please. I’m too busy.”
“I’m not in love with her,” Kei mumbles, setting the pillow in his lap.
“Dude, you’re obsessed with her.” Tadashi sits on his pile of clothes, shoving it into his suitcase with his ass. “You’d bottle her farts and smell them throughout the day if you could.”
“You’re really romantic, you know that? Lev into that kinda thing?” Kei says, growing frustrated. He knows he’s obsessed with you. He knows . He’d all but admitted it to you in bed this morning.
“Look,” Tadashi says, running into the bathroom and throwing literal bottles out the door and across the length of the living room. Kei watches, impressed, as he racks up a high success rate of getting them in his suitcase. “You’re staying at her place all the time, you only come home to get clothes-”
“And for our Tuesday nights!”
“-you fall asleep on the phone with her if you do sleep here-”
“Who told you that!”
“-and your face turns a really weird shade of red whenever I bring this up.” Tadashi points at him now. “Kinda like that.”
It is rather warm in here.
“Just think about it,” Tadashi continues, slamming his suitcase shut and zipping it up with shockingly minimal struggle. “You have all of Christmas Break. Kiyoko’s busy with Kyoutani, and I won’t be here, so you don’t need to come home at all.” He stands the suitcase up with a huff and then stares down at it with hands on his hips, proud of his work. “Kiyoko tells me Y/n’s also having a hard time.”
Kei perks up, following him to the foyer and watching him put his coat on. The words ‘ it’ll be you ’ float through his head, and it’s suddenly a lot warmer in here. “What’d she say?”
Yamaguchi eyes him. “Exactly what I just told you. That you two are acting like idiots who don’t know how to speak to each other.” He rolls his suitcase to the door. “Stop dancing around each other and make this official. Not labeling things is going to end up with one or both of you heartbroken.”
So you had talked to Kiyoko about this.
Yamaguchi leans in, squeezing Kei in a tight hug and then slapping him on the back. “Go get ‘em, Tiger-er. Frog.”
And then he’s gone, leaving Kei staring at the front door with a mumbled ‘ have a safe trip ’ echoing in the empty foyer.
–
Tsukki stays with you through Christmas.
After that morning in your bed, you have an irrational worry that – when he goes home to say bye to Yamaguchi – he might never come back. You pace your apartment for an hour after he’s gone, eventually calling Kiyoko to freak out. You severely regret that decision, because she spends the better half of another hour laughing in your ear about how you’d almost fucked your best friend. She does calm down, eventually, and it’s to remind you that Tsukki’s never lied to you.
He’s never lied to you, and he’d told you he wasn’t mad at you, so you have to believe him. You have to believe him about everything , because that’s all he’s asking of you.
So you hang up the phone, wishing Kiyoko ‘ good luck and good fucking ’ before she leaves for a date with Kyoutani, and you sit on the couch with the TV on. You stare at the screen and pretend to know what’s happening, only checking your phone sixteen times over the course of another few hours. And when there’s a knock at your door, you only pounce off the couch before catching yourself, managing not to run all the way to the door.
And, God, are you glad that you did everything you could to remain calm. Because, when you open the door, Tsukki’s standing there holding dinner and looking through his duffel bag like he’s checking that he didn’t forget anything. He’s standing there, completely normal, like you hadn’t all but asked him to fuck you and then promptly rejected him only hours earlier.
He just looks at you, hair dusted with snow and nose tipped red from the cold, and asks if you’re okay. Because you’re just standing there staring at him like it’s Christmas morning, not letting him in. You do let him in, and you eat dinner together, and then you go to bed together. And you’re scared that being in that bed with him again might be awkward, but he just climbs sleepily between your legs and falls asleep with his head on your chest.
It doesn’t come up again until Christmas Day.
—
On Christmas morning, you wake to the conflicting smell of coffee and something burning. Sitting up, you look directly into the kitchen, seeing smoke and a towel waving through the air.
“What are you doing?” You gasp, rolling out of bed and rushing over to where Tsukki is coughing and waving his arms.
“My fucking best!” He sputters, fanning a hand in front of his face. “What does it look like?”
You round the bar, yanking the smoking pan off the stove and dumping its contents in the trash. You roll your eyes when he whines ‘ my beautiful breakfast’ somewhere behind you. “What were you trying to make?”
“Eggs,” He grumbles, and you can’t help but shoot him an amused grin.
“Finally, something the Great Tsukishima Kei absolutely sucks at.”
“I suck at most things that aren’t volleyball and school.”
“Well, thank God for that,” You snicker, throwing the pan back on the stove and turning to plant a kiss on his mouth. “If you’re gonna be good at something, I would hope it’d be your job .”
He grumbles briefly but just wraps his arms around your waist and follows you around the kitchen, severely interfering with your ability to cook an actual breakfast.
“Speaking of my job…” He starts, his voice muffled in your shoulder. “I think they’re supposed to let me know soon about the contract.”
You turn in his arms, setting the carton of eggs down. “Really? When?”
“Dunno. But it’s the end of the year, so…” He looks indifferent about it, but you can see that he’s worried that they haven’t said anything so close to New Year’s Eve.
“Okay. I’m sure they’re just finalizing things, that’s all.” You card your fingers through his hair and pull him in, kissing him gently. “Do you wanna go out tonight? For dinner?”
He smiles against your mouth. “You askin’ me on a Christmas date? So cliche, princess.”
There’s no amount of money in the world that could make you admit to him how fluttery those words make you. You just kiss him again, letting him back you into the counter.
“Maybe,” You mumble. “Pick a place. My treat.”
“You’re funny,” His mouth drops to your neck. “Thinking I’d ever let you pay for anything while I’m around.”
“You let me pay for coffee that one day,” You argue pointlessly, your breath short from the way he’s nibbling on your skin.
“That’s because you’re a two-faced liar who hides the important things in a relationship.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” You coo jokingly. “Can I make it up to you?”
He groans, laughing after. “You know exactly how that sounded.”
“Yep,” You say, finally pushing him off of you and returning to the eggs on the counter. “Pick somewhere nice for dinner. It’s Christmas!”
He grumbles through the morning, your giggles filling the rest of the air, and you exchange gifts after breakfast. You’d made him a photo album of all the most ridiculous pictures you’ve taken together over the last few months. He’d gotten you a necklace that he’d watched you ogle in the window every single time you’d passed by, always claiming that it was too expensive and that you didn’t need it, anyway. He helps you put it on – kissing down the curve of your neck and over your shoulders and whispering that you’re even prettier now – and you sit in his lap with the photo album open, trying your very hardest not to kiss him silly every time he laughs that bright, genuine laugh that always makes your heart beat harder.
Around dinnertime, you get ready, asking what kind of restaurant he’d picked and rolling your eyes when all he says is ‘ a nice one ’. You pull out your best dress – a floor-length, wine red little number – and then you watch as Tsukki loses all concentration, his tie dangling pathetically in his hands.
“Ready?” You say, stepping out of bathroom as you finish pinning your hair up. His eyes drag down the length of you, and then he shakes his head dumbly.
“Not even a little bit.”
You make fun of him all the way to his car, brushing your mouth over his in the elevator and watching with a smirk as he fights the urge to chase after you when you pull away.
The dinner goes perfectly – it’s an upscale spot that serves way too little food on plates that are way too big, but Tsukki holds your hand the whole time and looks at you like he’s never looked at you before. It makes you nervous, but he just smiles when you blush, mumbling that he likes that look on your face. You wonder what’s gotten into him, but you decide to let it go in favor of sharing a glass of wine with him and giggling when his face starts to flush from the alcohol.
He’s decently nice to the reporters outside the restaurant, either feeling relaxed from the drink or too busy pulling you away from Nariko, who you’re chatting up with a wine-tinted bubbliness that makes the other reporters scowl. She just squeezes your arm and tell you to have a merry Christmas, and Tsukki busies himself with leading you by the hand down to his car. You don’t see it, but you find out a few hours later on Twitter that he’d pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and stuffed it in Nariko’s hand, telling her to go home to her family for the holidays. The pictures online had all shown Nariko’s awe-stricken face and the jealousy of much meaner reporters who’d never gotten the time of day from Tsukishima Kei.
He takes you to a pizza place down the street after leaving the restaurant, where you split a large supreme pizza and complain about how little food there was at the expensive place. You ask if they charge for air, and he jokes that they probably charge for smelling the food. You crack shitty jokes and fight over the last slice, and then you watch with thinly veiled affection as Tsukki signs the t-shirts of some young boys who’ve run over from the next booth over. He even gives them a small smile when they say he’s their favorite Frogs player, and then he gives you a large one when they turn to you and ask what it’s like to date someone famous.
‘ It’s a pretty sweet gig, ’ You tell them, leaning in conspiratorially. They lean in, too, eyes twinkling. ‘ I get to see a side of him that no one else does. Kind of like having a secret identity.’
They run off, claiming to their mother that Tsukki���s a superhero. Or a spy. They can’t decide.
Tsukki takes you home soon after, intertwining his fingers with yours and running his lips back and forth over your knuckles absentmindedly while he drives. When you get home, you change into sweats and take all your makeup off, realizing only then that Tsukki looks at you the same way even while you stand there in old, ratty clothes and mascara smeared under your eyes.
He just watches you, his eyes flicking away but always coming back, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“What’s with you, tonight, huh?” You finally say, curled up against his side. There’s some trashy movie on, but you can’t bring yourself to focus – not with him sliding his fingertips across the strip of skin that peeks out from under your shirt, over and over again until you start to shiver with each pass.
“Nothing,” He says, glancing down at you and then back at the TV. “Just… I dunno, it’s Christmas.”
You smile up at him, your eyes twinkling. “You’ve never been one for Christmas spirit , Kei.”
“Well, maybe I am now.” He rolls his eyes. “It’s nice to just spend it with you and do nothing else.”
“We spend every Christmas together,” You argue, smiling wider when he just squeezes you.
“‘s different,” He mumbles. You give up on bullying him, your heart warming and your skin prickling with happiness. It is different. Things are different. Every moment with him feels realer than the last, like you could do anything with him because you know it’ll be okay.
You look up at him, examining the way his lips start to tug up when he senses you watching him. Finally, his eyes drop to yours, honey-golden and warm, and you lean up to kiss him.
You barely manage to brush your lips to his when his phone rings in his pocket.
He leans back but keeps his eyes on your mouth while he extracts his phone, not looking at the Caller ID before lifting it to his ear.
“Hello?” He watches your mouth still, distracted.
And then he blinks, eyebrows furrowing as he looks away.
“Okay..?” He says, retracting his arm from your waist and standing slowly. Your heart starts to drop as you watch him pace the space between the couch and your bed. Who is he talking to? Is something wrong?
“Okay,” Tsukki says, blinking rapidly. “Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” He sighs. “Yeah. That’s-Thank you.”
And then he hangs up, and you watch him stare down at his phone, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Tsukki…?” You whisper after a moment, officially worried. When he looks at you, though, you see it.
The relief in his eyes.
“They’re signing me.” He stares. You stare back. And then his mouth breaks in a smile, and he looks you over. “They’re signing me, Y/n. They’re throwing an event on New Year’s Eve.”
“What?!” You jump over the back of the couch, launching yourself at him. He hoists you up and laughs, that beautiful, bright laugh that you can’t live without now. “Tsukki!” You wrap your legs around his waist, burying your face in his neck and squealing.
“Holy shit,” He breathes, laughing in disbelief. “Holy shit, we did it.” And then, when you lift your head to smile down at him, he uses one hand to grab the back of your head and drag you in for a kiss. “ Fuck, we did it. You did that ,” He mumbles against you. “ Thank you. ”
You shake your head, dropping your legs and kissing him while he sets you down. “ You did that, Tsukki,” You say, turning and heading into the kitchen. “You’re amazing, you know that?” You search through cabinets, extracting two bottles of wine. You brandish them at him with a grin. “We have to celebrate!”
He looks between the two bottles, chewing on his bottom lip, but you see the smile peek through after a second. “Yeah… Yeah, I’d say both bottles are necessary.”
“To celebrate. Properly,” You justify.
His grin is wide now. “Properly.”
–
Celebrating properly ends up – somehow, some way – involving Tsukki’s lips on your throat and his fingers tangled in your hair. He smells like wine, and your head is swimming from him and the alcohol.
You’re laid back on the couch, hair fanning out around you and legs wrapped around him. He’s got his other hand on your waist, inching higher and higher every few seconds and taking your shirt with it.
“ Tsukki ,” You whisper, your fingers locked in his hair and your back arched until your chest presses to his. “ Please. ”
He groans against your throat. “ We can’t ,” He slurs, shaking his head. “‘r not ready-”
You whine, using your grip on his hair to pull his head back up. You kiss him heatedly, moaning when your shirt bunches up around your breasts, his fingers stalling there but sliding hesitantly under the hem.
“Doesn’t have to be-” Your breath stutters, because his hips are moving unconsciously against yours, and you can feel how hard he is. “Doesn’t have to be everything-”
He seems to like that answer, his kiss growing rushed. “Really? You sure?”
“Yeah-yes-” You nod furiously. “Please. Please. ”
He sighs roughly, pulling away from you and sitting up. You barely have time to breathe before you’re being lifted through the air and dragged into his lap. You gasp, your head spinning, as he turns you quickly in place. Your back slams against his chest, and his mouth drops to the junction of your throat.
You reach up, carding your fingers through his hair. “Tsukki,” You sigh, feeling his heart beating against your back. He slides his arms around your waist.
“You’re sure?” He asks again, his voice low and humming through your skin. You nod, eyes half-closed and staring blankly at the movie that’d you’d lost track of a long time ago. You sigh in relief and close your eyes when he pushes his lips against your throat, the scene in front of you lost as you breathe him in.
With your eyes shut, you feel him more intensely. The warmth of his lips on your skin, the way his hands start to slide across your sides, your t-shirt falling over his wrists. He stops just below your breasts, nipping his teeth on your throat to get your attention.
“ Last chance ,” He whispers.
You arch your back, grinding your ass subtly back into him. You feel his cock twitch against it, and he bites down harder on your shoulder.
“Was that your answer?” He breathes, his hands growing more certain on your skin.
“ God , Kei,” You laugh. “Do something before I do.”
You feel him smile before anything else.
He slides one hand back down around your waist, using his arm to anchor you to him. His other hand slides up, and you gasp, feeling his palm cup your breast.
“ Oh -” You arch your back again, your head falling back against his shoulder. You’d noticed how big his hands are over the months together, but you’d never really realized .
He keeps you flush to him while his fingers roam eagerly over your chest, the pads of his fingertips rough and calloused from volleyball. He kneads one breast, his palm as searing hot as the kisses he trails along your throat, and then he switches to the other. His fingers tweak and pluck at your nipples, teeth blunt on your shoulder and his other arm holding you tight as you start to wriggle and moan.
You dig your hands into his thighs, the fabric of his sweats balled up in your fists. Your head swims, face warm and skin sweaty, and you loll your head back and forth on his shoulder. “Tsukki, please,” You moan, unconsciously spreading your thighs and pushing them against his. He notices, the hand on your waist squeezing once.
“Want more, princess?”
“Please, fuck-” You want to growl when he takes his hands off of you, but the brief disappointment is replaced with a distinct thumping of your heart when he hooks both hands under your knees and pries your thighs open, hanging your legs over the sides of his knees. You feel briefly vulnerable sitting like this, but he just slides his hand back under your shirt and continues to play with you.
“Comfortable?” He asks, his other hand toying with the waistband of your pants. You nod, your breathing growing heavy when his thumb slips under the band. “You sure?”
“Tsukishima, I swear-” You gasp, feeling him tug hard on your nipple. He snickers against your shoulder, whispering ‘ so easy ’ into your skin as he pushes his other hand past the band of your sweats. He doesn’t bother stopping there, fingertips slipping past your panties and finally pausing right over where you need him.
“ Mm- ” You purse your lips hard to keep from moaning too loud. But your head fills with static and your stomach flips over itself again and again while he swipes teasing circles over your clit.
“C’mon, princess,” He breathes smugly into your ear, but you hear him swallow hard as his fingers dip lower and slide through your folds. “You’re not gonna let me hear you? After everything?”
His fingertips are hot against you, and you become suddenly aware of how much larger his fingers are than yours. You feel — horrified, truly — as you become wetter against his hand. Tsukki’s smile is wide against the shell of your ear.
“What happened, baby?” He whispers, nudging the tip of his middle finger against your entrance. “If there’s something you want, you gotta ask for it.”
You just lift your hands to your face, hiding. Tsukki lifts his own hand away from you before coming down quickly, the slap sharp against your core. You yelp, hands flying to hold onto his arms and face burning as he soothes the pain by running his fingers through your folds. There’s a soft squelch that echoes in the room and makes him chuckle low against your head.
“ I think your pretty little pussy likes me, princess ,” He whispers, the hand on your chest sliding up through the collar of your shirt and resting on the base of your throat. “ Better ask fast, before I lose interest. ”
You whine, your heart pounding against his hand. “Please, Tsukki…”
“Yeah?”
You tighten your hold on his arms, nervous. “Please finger me?”
“Aw,” He coos, laughing gently as he swipes more circles over your clit, still gentle. “That’s so sweet, baby. But you can do better.”
“What?” You whine, turning your head and burying your face in his neck. Your throat pushes further into his hand, and you feel yourself get impossibly wetter when he tightens his grip.
“You can ask better than that,” He mumbles, and you feel his cock twitch against your back when you clench, his fingers sliding patiently back and forth.
“Uhm-” You shudder, because he’s switched to flicking his fingertips against your clit. “I-”
“ Come on, Y/n, ” He whispers against your head. He starts to tap his fingers, one and then the other. “ I’ll stop if you don’t ask soon.”
Your heart wrenches in your chest, and you shake your head. “Please don’t-”
“Then ask me-”
“I did- ”
“ Ask me, Y/n- ”
“ Please , Tsukki!” You yell, squeezing your eyes shut and trying not to think about how your voice bounces on the walls. “I need you to stuff your fingers in my cunt and fuck me before I lose my fucking mind -”
He groans loudly, drowning you out, but your voice cuts short anyway, because he’s sliding his middle two fingers down and pushing them roughly into you.
“Oh, my- Tsukki- ” You gasp, his name ripped from your throat.
“ Fuck- ” He groans, sliding his fingers out and slamming them back into you. “ Y/n- ”
You purse your lips to muffle yourself, wriggling and arching your back, your throat pressing into his hand. “Tsukki, fuck.”
“God, you’re so pretty, baby,” He whispers, his breathing rough and shallow. “You feel so good-” His chest heaves against your back, and your head fills with white noise, a ringing in your ears as you feel nothing except the way his fingers stretch you out, his palm slapping against your clit over and over again until you feel like your skin is on fire. “You’re doing so- so good with my fingers-“ He cuts off, moaning and pressing his face into your hair when you clench hard around his fingers. “ Fuck , Y/n-“
“Please,” You whimper, knowing how desperate you sound. “More, Tsukki, please-”
“Baby-“ He laughs, his voice strained. “I don’t know-”
“ Please , Tsukki. Please, I need you-“
He slams his hand into you, stopping long enough to take a deep breath. “Y/n, I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready f-”
“I’m ready!” You scream pathetically. “Please, I promise I’m ready, I need you so bad, Tsukki-”
“Y/n-”
You know it’s only been a week since that morning on your bed. You know that he’s worried that you’re not thinking straight. But you also know that it’s him, that it’s always been him. That, above all else, he’s the one you need. That there will never be anyone else.
You think you might be in love with him.
And if that’s the case, then you’re really not seeing any reason to keep waiting.
“Tsukishima Kei, I swear to fucking God – if you don’t fuck me, I will actually start sobbing.” Your voice is already starting to crack, and your chest is heaving in large gulps of air. He moans quietly in your ear, and you think he says something to the effect of ‘ Okay, baby. I got you’, but you can’t be sure. The ringing in your ears is too strong, worsened when he quickly slips his fingers out of you. You whine at the emptiness, the sound lost in the shuffle of Tsukki lifting you into his arms and standing from the couch.
He carries you to bed in two strides, lying you down much more gently than you’d expected. Climbing over you, he slides his shirt off and drops it to the floor in one smooth motion. Your heart jumps, and you eagerly sit up to do the same, barely catching the way his eyes widen as he takes you in. And then you lie back, clutching the sheets in both hands to fight the urge you have to cover your chest. But it seems like he might be enjoying what he’s seeing, because he just hooks his fingers distractedly into your sweats and panties, his eyes roaming your body. He pulls them both off and sends them somewhere off the edge of the bed without looking.
“Shit,” He whispers, more to himself than anything. You shiver under his gaze, gathering the courage to let your thighs fall open. Cold air hits your skin, but you barely have time to whimper before his eyes are dropping. They go wide, and you watch all the air leave his lungs as he stares down at you. “ Shit ,” He says again, even quieter.
“Coming?” You breathe, reaching one hand along the sheet for him. His gaze flies to yours, golden eyes still stunned but recovering the moment he sees you looking up at him. Wordlessly, he drops down over you, his lips finding yours in a rush of heat and everything he’s not saying right now. You sigh against his mouth, holding his face and spreading your thighs further when you feel him reach down between you for his own pants. He pushes them down blindly and kicks them off into the distance, his mouth hot and his wine-laced tongue dancing along yours.
“Y/n,” He mumbles, and you tighten your hold on his face.
“If you ask me if I’m sure, I will finger myself in front of you and then kick you out.”
His laugh is the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard.
“Okay.” He nibbles on your lip and shifts his weight. You feel his cock brush along your thigh, precum smearing on your skin. “I hear you.”
You will admit that you’re nervous. As he pulls his lips from yours and glances down between you with purpose, the head of his cock bumping up against your entrance, you’re struck with anticipation and a little bit of fear that this might hurt a lot, especially considering his size. But then, as he’s using his thumb to push the tip in as slowly as possibly, his eyes flick up to meet yours.
And you remember just how sure you are.
So, even though it does hurt — the sting causing you to grip the sheet hard enough to rip it — Tsukki’s eyes are flicking back and forth between your face and your core, his brow furrowed in concentration, and you feel impossibly safe. Because he would never do anything that might hurt you.
You trust him.
“‘s this okay?” He grunts, sliding painstakingly slowly into you. You just nod, bottom lip caught between your teeth and eyes scrunched shut. He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours and forcing you to free your lip from its torture. “Y/n, if it hurts, we can stop. We don’t have to do this,” He whispers against you, but you only shake your head, whining.
“‘m okay, I promise. ‘s just new.” Your breath is shallow in your chest. “Maybe if I jus’…” You angle your hips up and spread your thighs just an inch wider, and you feel his sigh against your lips. The relief is instant for you, too, and your lungs fill with air. “Okay,” You breathe, prying your aching fingers from the sheets and stretching them. “Okay.”
“Okay,” He whispers back, his hand finding your thigh and his fingers splaying across the underside. He sighs, the sound a half-groan as he bottoms out inside of you. “Fuck.”
Your brow’s broken out in a sweat and your skin is flushed with heat, but when you open your eyes, Tsukki’s staring right back at you, gaze searching your face. You wonder what you look like, because you’re seeing awe in the way his eyes trace you.
“You okay?” His eyes track the embarrassed purse of your lips and the way you glance nervously down your body at the place where his hips meet yours.
“Are you?” You ask breathlessly, watching his arms shake as he holds himself over you.
“No,” He laughs. “This is torture.”
You beam up at him, your voice weak when you say, “You can move, Tsukki.” Your fingers find his shoulders, and he collapses onto his elbows, pressing his forehead to your chest.
“Really? I don’t want to hurt you-”
“Are you this careful with every girl? I’m starting to get a little offended-”
“ You’re not every girl ,” He says simply, muffled against your skin. Your stomach flips, and you accidentally clench around him. The sound he makes is inhuman. “ Was that necessary? ” He complains pitifully into your chest. You giggle wholeheartedly, and he shakes his head against you. “ Don’t do that either- ”
“Oh, my God, Tsukki – please just move ,” You laugh, snaking your arms around his neck and lifting his head toward you. He shifts, kissing you firmly and breathing a soft ‘ yes, ma’am ’ against your lips.
He starts slow, slow as before. His hips pull back carefully, and then he rocks forward on his knees, bumping gently up against you when he bottoms out again. The sting is still there, but he distracts you by kissing you, his lips eager on yours and his quiet moans breathless and lost in your throat. He circles your clit gently with his thumb while he does, and you start to shiver against him. Eventually, the sting subsides, and the only notice you give him is the stretch of your thighs and the shallow cant of your hips upward to meet his. His kiss falters for a moment, and the hand on your thigh tightens in surprise, but he doesn’t ask any more questions.
When he snaps his hips a little roughly, you know he’s gotten the message. You focus on breathing while he rocks his hips, pursing your lips to keep from moaning too loud. He’s breathless over you, and you’re secretly amazed to see him like this — brow furrowed and lips parted, eyes flicking between yours and then shutting briefly before finding you again. You’ve never seen his expression so unguarded before.
There’s a quiet sound that vibrates in his throat every time his hips meet yours, and you find yourself wanting to hear it properly. So you card your fingers through his hair and kiss him, whispering his name against his lips and rocking your hips up in time with his. You hear it then, clear and perfect.
“Oh- fuck- ” Tsukki groans loudly, his hand sliding urgently along the sheet in search of you. His fingers interlace with yours and latch on tight. “You feel so good-” He drops his head to your shoulder, lips hot on your throat. “God-” He laughs pathetically. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this much of a mess.”
“Tsukki,” You whisper, feeling something below your navel twist and tug. “Tsukki-I’m- mm-” You wriggle, arching your back and wrapping your legs around his waist. “Please-”
“Are you close, princess?” His voice is teasing, but you can see in the way he lifts his head, eyes searching your face frantically, that he’s eager. When you nod, his face melts into a kind of affection you’ve never seen from him before. He smiles, eyes flicking down to your mouth, and nods. “Okay, baby. Close your eyes.”
You whimper, doing as he says and immediately feeling him shift over you. His hand falls between you, fingers swiping ever so gently over your clit as his hips start to bump against yours with a little more force. You cry out, hearing the headboard slam against the wall over and over again.
“ Tsukki! ” You cant bring yourself to care anymore how loud you are, your breath coming too fast now and your reservations slipping the moment you hear him moan your name.
“You look so pretty, Y/n-so pretty like this.” He pants, his hips starting to stutter and his cock twitching inside you. The tugging in your navel worsens and peaks, and you moan his name again. He groans at the sound. “You take me so well- fuck . Feels like you were made for me.”
You gasp, feeling yourself being pulled to the edge. “Tsukki, I’m-” You shudder, fluttering around him, and he starts to breathe hard against your skin.
“Come on, baby. Let me feel you come around me.”
Your hands tighten on his hair, and you’re distantly aware of Tsukki pushing his lips to yours heatedly as you’re starting to scream. He swallows the sound, moaning as he spills into you, his hips faltering and then stopping against yours.
You stay that way for an unknown amount of time, your heart beating in your throat, ears, core, and everything else while you come down. Tsukki kisses you with languor, his teeth nipping softly on your bottom lip as he sighs against you. You swallow thickly, whispering his name after a moment.
“Hi,” He whispers back, slowly lifting his head. You scratch your nails on his scalp, and he blinks down at you sleepily. “You okay?”
You giggle. “Guess we’ll see in the morning.” His lips pull into a small smile, eyes tracing your features. You kiss him once, mumbling ‘ should we clean up? ’ against his lips.
He barks out a laugh, nodding. “Stay here.” He lifts off you slowly. “I’ll take care of you.”
You can’t find it in you to be shy about him seeing your body now, feeling all too safe and drifting quickly off to sleep, before he’s even back from the bathroom.
—
It’s still dark outside when you roll over, wincing as you stretch. You reach over for Tsukki, but your arm hits the bed instead. A noise of confusion leaves you, and you lift your head, blinking in the dark.
He’s sitting up in bed, the sheets pooled around his waist and his arms wrapped around his bent knees.
“Tsukki?” You mumble. He doesn’t seem to hear you, so you sit up, realizing with a quick glance that you’re wearing the t-shirt he’d had on before and your panties. He must have cleaned you up and dressed you. “Tsukki,” You try again, touching his arm.
He starts, turning to look back at you. “Oh. Hi.”
That’s all he says.
You pull your hand off of him, something unknown coming between you. “What’s wrong?”
He just swallows hard and shakes his head, scooting toward you. “Nothing.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and tries to guide you back down, but you brush him off.
“Tsukki.”
He stares. You stare back. He looks away and runs his fingers through his hair roughly.
“I don’t know if we should have done that,” is what he says. The words are whispered, but they echo in the silence.
You think you might throw up.
“What?”
“I just-“ He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Don’t get me wrong, okay-”
“Then don’t say something wrong, Tsukki.”
“Y/n, we were drunk-”
Oh.
You blink, scooting away from him slowly. You pull the blankets up to your chest, staring at nothing. He watches you, shaking his head.
“Y/n, just let me talk please. Don’t overdo this-”
“Don’t overdo this?” You ask, eyes wide as they land on him. “I just lost my virginity to you, and you can’t even wait two hours before trying to make your escape.”
“ No- “ He shakes his head, trying to move toward you, but you stick your foot out, stopping him. “Y/n, no. I’m just-I mean, we’re not even together-”
You flinch back at that. He sees it, and regret crosses his face. His mouth opens, but you cut him off.
“Were you dating every girl you’ve ever fucked?”
“No, but-“ He laughs. “You’re not every girl. You know that.”
“No, I thought that,” You say, finally standing from the bed and backing away toward the couch. “But you’re treating me like I’m trash that you haven’t figured out how to throw out yet!”
“No, I’m not!” He stands too, staying at the end of the bed. He seems to have realized you don’t want him near you. “I just wish we had done things right -”
“I thought they were right!” You snap. “That felt right to me, Tsukishima.”
“You know what i mean -”
“What do you want?” You throw your hands out. “What are you trying to gain from doing this? Tell me.”
“God, I’m just telling you what’s going through my head!” He tangles his fingers in his hair, tugging in frustration. “We aren’t together, and we were drunk, and I didn’t want this to be-” He shakes his head, and you get the feeling the rest of that sentence was important. But he’d stopped talking, which means he’s not willing to share it with you. So you just watch, refusing to push him for it, because you need to see what he does on his own.
“I’m just confused,” He finally mumbles. “I don’t know where to go from here. This wasn’t right.”
You stare, feeling tears prick at the back of your eyes. But you just start to laugh, even though your vision is getting blurry.
“You’re confused? ” Your laughter is shallow, pained. “You always told me to stop getting in my head about this — about us — and now you’re the one who’s confused ?!”
“We should have-”
“You told me to do whatever I feel is right-“ You snap. “-and now that I have, you’re confused ?”
“We didn’t talk about any of this!” He yells, shaking his head. “We said we wouldn’t have sex, so we never talked about what this would mean-”
“Yeah! I figured maybe that part could wait until after!” You scoff. “You know, we could have just talked about what comes next in the morning , but you decided to be confused and overthink and ruin this.”
He looks like he wants to argue, his face pinched with stress, but you just rub at your brow, breathing hard. You feel sick.
“This is why I wanted rules,” You mumble. “I knew this would happen.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and then-
“You knew what would happen? That I would fuck this up?”
You meet his eyes, angry. “That you wouldn’t be able to find a way to let me down easy. That you would let me fall for you, knowing you were just going to cut me off at the end.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“No?” You point at the bed. “But you were so quick to think of how cut me loose.”
His brow furrows in irritation. “ Why do you always think the worst of me?”
“Because you couldn’t even wait one night!” You scream. “You couldn’t just be happy with me !”
He steps toward you, and you see in the moonlight that his walls have gone up. “I was not trying to cut you loose. And I have never lied to you . But you’ve always been so fucking resistant to the idea that I could ever be telling the truth.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, already turning away from you. “God forbid I tell you what’s on my mind and you actually take me seriously.” He meets your eyes evenly. “Maybe it’s you who’s looking for a way out.”
The silence in the room is suffocating.
“Get out,” You finally say.
The door slams before you have time to process that he’s gone.
The tears finally spill, and your knees hit the floor just as the wailing starts.
—
Kei throws the front door shut so hard that something falls off the wall in his foyer. He’s not sure what it is, but he’s tempted to start breaking more things. Thankfully, it’s late enough that no paparazzi were outside when he’d gotten here, or else it might have been someone’s camera on the ground again. Great way to celebrate his contract signing.
Yamaguchi wouldn’t appreciate coming home to a destroyed house, though, so he settles for stomping up the stairs hard enough that one of them creaks in a funny way when he lands on it. He slams the door to his room, too, and then he throws himself down on his bed and screams into his pillow.
He hadn’t meant to say it like that. He doesn’t know why he said it like that. He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a mistake. How could any of tonight have been a mistake with you? He just wishes he’d told you how he feels about you before things had gotten out of hand. He wishes you would have known how he feels about you while you were trusting him with your body like that.
Because then, maybe, you would have known while you were taking your shirt off that you were safe. You would have known, while you were in pain for those few minutes, that he would never hurt you. That he was trying his best, that you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, that you would never have to pressure yourself to have sex because he would have been okay with stopping at any time.
He wishes he would have told you he loves you.
Maybe then you would have known.
But instead, you’d looked at him with betrayal in your eyes when he’d been stupid enough to stumble over his words. You’d taken him for all the things he’s always been, but never with you. You’d trusted him with everything, and then you’d closed yourself off in an instant, and he’d gotten frustrated because you wouldn’t hear him out.
But how could he expect you to hear him out? How could he get mad that you’d retreated into your shell and locked him out? You’d only let him in for a minute, and he’d ruined it.
He’s ruined this.
Kei doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he makes up for it now, his pillow soaked with tears by the time he finally drifts off to sleep.
—
You spend the next day in bed, sobbing into Kiyoko’s shirt and ignoring the missed calls from Tsukki. And there are a lot of them. He calls back to back for an hour straight — Kiyoko finally has enough and answers for you, muttering ‘ the next time I see you, I’m going to curb stomp you until your teeth are gone ’ before silencing your phone and tossing it somewhere on the couch.
You fall asleep sometime before the sun sets, Kiyoko’s fingers combing through your hair soothingly. You stir a few hours later and think you hear Kyoutani’s voice, soft and deep as he mumbles ‘ he wasn’t at practice today ’ and paces your floor quietly. You fall asleep again, your traitorous heart twitching as it realizes that Tsukki might not be okay, either.
The morning of the 27th, your eyes crack open, swollen and burning, to a knock at your door. You roll over, staring emptily at it, and then you climb out of bed, thinking it’s Kiyoko, and trudge to the door.
It’s not Kiyoko.
In his defense, his eyes are as red and swollen as yours feel.
“Hi,” He croaks. You flinch at the sound of his voice.
“What do you want?” You whisper. He’s holding a plastic bag from the store, and he holds it out weakly to you now.
“I didn’t get to-” He swallows. “I should have taken care of you. After. I didn’t.”
No. You didn’t.
You take the bag, peering inside. Some snacks, a pack of muscle patches, a couple electrolyte-replenishing drinks.
A box of Plan B, sitting at the bottom.
You stare at it emptily. “Who saw you buy this?” The last thing you need is the internet witnessing your heartbreak in real time.
“Management took care of it.”
You’re not sure you’re okay with them being involved, but it’s better than Tsukishima Kei being caught buying Plan B.
You shut the bag, shoving it back at him. “Well, you can thank them for me, but I’ve actually been on birth control for years.” He blinks, taking it while staring dumbly down at you. You smile, your anger manifesting as cruelty. “So don’t worry about it, Tsukishima.” He doesn’t look so happy to hear his name used that way anymore. “I never intended to get pregnant and trap you in a loveless marriage for your fame and fortune.”
His eyebrows furrow, and his frown cuts deep. “Y/n-”
You slam the door in his face.
—
Kei doesn’t speak to you again until New Year’s Eve — until you literally have to speak to him, because he needs to text you about his contract signing.
His fingers shake while he sends it, letting you know that he’d be arriving to your place in a limo booked by the Frogs at 6pm, and then he sends you a picture of his ties, in case you want to match. You don’t respond, so he just picks the black one.
He’s terrified that you’ll decide not to go. Terrified.
But even when you send him a thumbs up (still not responding about the ties), he doesn’t feel less terrified. He just sits at the edge of his bed and stares down at his phone, his heart ripping in his chest as he scrolls through your previous messages from the last few months. All of that — all of your excited texts and flirty memes, all of his thinly veiled affection. All siphoned down to nothing in a matter of days.
He gets ready with trembling fingers, his eyes pricking with tears and then drying up as he shakes his head and blinks away every regret he’s ever had. He sits in the limo in anxious silence, watching it pull into your apartment, the lights flashing on the cameras outside.
And then he wipes his eyes and draws his shoulders back, because, while the world inside has been falling apart under his fingertips, the world outside has been going crazy over the news of Tsukishima Kei going pro.
He exits the limo and bows to a few reporters, waving politely as he waits for you. He doesn’t answer any questions, mostly because he doesn’t want anyone to get too close and see that he’s not okay. But then you come out of your apartment in a black ball gown that makes his heart wrench, and he has to fight tears again.
You smile wide at him, your eyes crinkling and your face glowing as you walk down the steps to meet him.
“You that stunned to see me?” You ask, loud enough to be heard by the paparazzi. They laugh, and you laugh with them as you step up to him. Then you lift onto your tiptoes and press your lips to his in greeting, and he has to remember to close his eyes and act like everything’s fine, even though the feeling your lips on his makes him want to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness.
You pull away and turn to the cameras, waving quickly before ducking through the door he’s holding open. He waves, too, and follows you, the camera shutters loud behind him.
The inside of the limo is dead silent.
You sit on the other side of the car, staring out the window as the driver pulls out to the street. Any evidence that you’d just smiled at him like he’s your world is gone. Kei just looks at you, every nerve in his body fighting to find something to say.
Finally, after five torturous minutes, he swallows. “Y/n.”
“Don’t.” You don’t bother meeting his eyes when you speak. “Let’s just get through this. In the morning, we can ask Management how to break up without making you look bad.”
His heart drops to the ground. “I don’t want to break up.”
You meet his eyes now. “I do.”
“No, you don’t.” He refuses to believe this.
“How would you know?”
He doesn’t. He doesn’t know. That’s why this terrifies him.
“We’re not breaking up,” He croaks finally.
You turn back to the window. “Let’s just get through this.”
The ride to the Frogs’ gym is filled with a silence that certainly feels like he’s been dumped.
—
“-ations to Tsukishima Kei for this amazing step into professional volleyball, and we welcome him with open arms to what’s certain to be a long and fruitful career.”
Kei stands from his seat in the audience, shaking his coach’s hand firmly and bowing at the waist. The Frogs have opened the doors of their in-house conference venue – which is just a large ballroom – the back half filled with round tables and the front lined with a couple rows of chairs for the reporters. The room is capped on the far end by a podium, where his coach has just finished speaking, and a long table. There’s a chair labeled with his name there, in the center of the table, and there’s a stack of papers for him to sign.
He moves there now, glancing up at the front row and finding you staring back. Your face is masked into a perfect smile, and your expression is filled with love and support as you watch him take a seat at a table filled with his coach, manager, captain, and a brand sponsor.
But then you meet his eyes, and he can see how empty they are.
He looks down at his papers, adjusting his tie nervously. The camera flashes are making him warm, and he can’t really hear what’s being said, so he follows his coach’s lead and turns pages when necessary and signs on dotted lines, again and again and again. He’s already read the terms of his employment — they’d emailed him the hundred-page document three days ago so that he could read it and negotiate benefits before the day of the signing. That’s the only reason he’s not more nervous about this moment. He just has to flip pages and sign whatever his coach points to.
The whole process only takes five minutes, cameras flashing away over his bent head. Before he knows it, he’s standing and shaking his coach’s hand again, and then he’s being hugged by his manager and captain and taking a photo with his brand sponsor.
And then he looks at you, still sitting in the front row as reporters start to stand and approach him.
It’s almost worse that your eyes are filled with genuine warmth this time.
He answers a couple questions, but his eyes keep flicking back to you distractedly, and finally a voice speaks from the back – feminine and familiar and belonging to a reporter donning the Sendai Sports lanyard.
“I think maybe Tsukishima would enjoy a moment alone with his girlfriend — We could move to the reception tables and continue our conversations there, perhaps?”
Kei grabs his manager by the sleeve as the crowd is clearing and asks if it’s possible for the Frogs to hire Nariko as his PR rep. His manager looks up at him with surprise and says he’ll speak with her.
When Kei turns again, you’re there. His heart jumps, and he slips his arm around your waist by habit, trying not to react visibly when you tense against him.
“You asked to hire Nariko?” You say, setting a careful hand on his bicep. “That would set her up for life.”
“I know,” is all he says. Your eyes flicker with appreciation, and you step close to wrap your arms around his neck. He hugs you as tight as he can without making it obvious that he hasn’t seen you in days.
“Congratulations,” You whisper in his ear. “I’m proud of you.”
A lump grows in his throat. “Thanks.” You dont respond, and he squeezes you, because he can feel you slipping away. “I’m sorry,” He breathes.
“I can’t,” You say, stepping away. “It’s too late-”
“It’s not .” He’s starting to get desperate, the thought of you closing off to him forever pure torture. “It’s not too late-”
“Stop brushing off what I said.” Your brow furrows with annoyance, and his frustration bubbles for a moment too long.
“Why? You do it all the time.” He dips his head quickly so that the cameras don’t see the tension in his face, and he’s thankful your back is to them, because you’re outright frowning now.
“Let’s just get through this.”
“Would you please stop saying that?”
You sigh quietly, stepping close and running your hands over his shoulders in a way that appears affectionate to anyone watching. “Fix your face, Kei. I don’t want to talk about this now. Let’s just enjoy the evening, because you deserve to be appreciated for everything you’ve put into this.”
He’s amazed at your ability to think of him, even now.
“You put so much into this, too,” He whispers. You just smile bitterly.
“Yeah. And look where that got me.”
He watches you paint a loving smile on your face as you take his hand and lead him toward the reception table occupied by his teammates and Management. He does his best to pretend, even though he feels like he’s losing a piece of his soul.
—
You lean forward on the counter, staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
It’s amazing that you’ve been able to keep it together all night. You’ve clung to his arm and followed him around the room, talking to his teammates, to Management, to any reporters who had questions for you. You’ve spoken with a smile and a laugh and a twinkle in your eye, and you’ve done your best to hide how much it hurts to be close to him.
To the smell of him, clean and warm and filled with home . To the feel of him, secure and safe as he holds your waist and kisses your cheek appropriately. To the sight of him, perfect and golden and made of everything you’d fallen in love with.
It makes you sick, looking yourself in the eye and knowing you’d been lying the whole night. Especially with Kyoutani watching you like a hawk, eyes full of blatant concern. And with various members of Management quietly asking if you’re feeling okay, if there’s ‘ anything else ’ you need.
You shake it off, drying your hands and fixing your hair with a quiet sigh. Only a little more, and you can retreat to your dark cave of wallowing.
Straightening your back, you smile at yourself in the mirror and turn, leaving the bathroom and making your way down the hallway back to the reception room.
You hear him before you see him.
“ -the fuck did you say to me? ”
No. No way. He wouldnt.
There’s nervous laughter that follows, and you speed up to get to him before he says something else.
“ I’m just saying- ” You don’t know the voice well, but you think it belongs to one of the only super young reporters at the event today. “ -now that you’re officially pro, you might consider transitioning into a relationship that’s a bit more…. suited to your new lifestyle. ”
You stop short, just shy of the corner.
“Someone a bit more pleasing to the public, if you will,” The man finishes, and you stare down at nothing. You struggle to recover, too many wounds opened too soon, one after another. But you know Tsukki can’t pick a fight, not here. So you lift your head and resume your trudge to the end of the hall, only to find Nariko staring back at you.
She looks angry, and her eyes flick away from yours to stomp just out of view. Just as Tsukki’s starting to respond.
“Would the public find it pleasing if I were to beat your ass for talking about my girlfri-”
“Tsukishima,” Nariko cuts in. “It’s great to get some one-on-one time with you.” You hear the other reporter gasp and stumble, and you’re guessing Nariko’s pushed him out of the way.
Tsukki sighs at her. “Thanks for th-”
He suddenly appears in your eyeline, stumbling back a few feet, and you realize that she’s pushed him, too. You’re a bit impressed.
He looks affronted for a moment, but then your presence catches his eye, and he turns to you with wide eyes.
“Y/n-”
“As your new PR rep, Tsukishima-” Nariko says, stepping around the corner to face the both of you and create a bit of privacy. She winks at you when she calls herself by that title. “-I’d recommend not getting into a fight at a contract signing that only happened because you stopped getting into fights.”
Tsukki has the decency to look ashamed, and you nearly hug Nariko. But she just looks between you before glancing over her shoulder.
“You know… No one will notice if you’re gone for ten minutes.”
You don’t wait for any other signal, only wrapping a hand around Tsukki’s wrist and dragging him all the way down the hall to a storage closet. You throw him in and slam the door, whirling on him.
“Are you fucking insane?”
He points out the door, jaw slack in shock. “You heard what he said to me!”
“Are you lacking self-control in every way?!” You throw your hands out. “This is your day , and you come that close to ruining it?”
His jaw clenches and unclenches as he stares at you, his eyes flicking between yours. “I won’t let people talk to me like that. Not about you.”
You stare back. “I won’t let you put everything on the line for me. You can’t ruin your own life for something stupid-”
“This isn’t stupid !” He explodes. “Everything before you was stupid!” He starts to pace. “I had a shit temper, and it was easy to bait me into a fight, and I would end up in the tabloids for the dumbest shit . And you helped me! You fixed me, just like I asked you to! I’m not the same guy I was before, Y/n. But this -” He points out the door. “ You ? I can’t do it.”
You breathe hard, shaking your head. “Then let’s end this.” When his eyes only widen, you swallow. “Let’s end this now. If I’m this much of a weakness for you, let’s make them stop talking about me. We got what you needed – I fixed you, like I said I would. Your contract’s secured. You can go back to dating girls that all look the same, and we can take some time apart so I can get over you, and-” You’d started to pull the door open, but Tsukki crosses the room in two strides and slams it shut again, his hand flat on the wood.
“Y/n.” His eyes are sharp, but you can see the fear in them. “I need you to stop running from me.”
“Then stop making me run.” You reach for the door again, but he won’t budge. You stamp your foot in frustration. “Tsukki! I’m doing everything I can to preserve this friendship, but I can’t keep doing this !”
“You’re not doing everything! All you have to do is fucking listen to me -”
You back away from him into the room, shaking your head. “Why, Tsukki? So I can listen to you tell me that night was a mistake? That you ‘ never meant for it to get that far ’, that you ‘ wish things had been different ’? Well, so do I!” You yell. “I wish things had been different, too! I wish I would have known what you would do to me, so that I wouldn’t be stupid enough to go fall in love with someone who doesn’t love me back- ”
“ I do love you back!” He yells, strong and loud and full of anger. Your head snaps up, eyes finding his. His gaze is furious and hurt, and you can’t say you’ve ever seen him look at you like that before. It makes your heart ache and your chest tighten, the way his lip wobbles once before he clenches his jaw and fixes it.
“...What?” You finally say, your breath caught in your throat.
“I love you back. You stupid fucking girl.” He sounds tired. Exhausted, really.
You stare. “That was rude,” You whisper weakly. He just laughs, but it sounds like he’s near tears. He hasn’t sounded like that since high school, since that fight on your doorstep.
“Sorry, but that’s what you get with me.” He reaches for the doorknob, opening it an inch. “So now’s your time to back out.”
You stay right where you are. “Or what?”
The silence that follows seems to go on forever.
His eyes search yours, and the sliver of hope you see kills you. “What?”
“Or what, Tsukki? What do I get if I stay?”
He stares, unmoving. “You get me.”
You think you might cry.
You move to the door, watching the fight leave his eyes when he realizes you’re leaving. But you just put your hand on the door, nudging it shut. It clicks, and he stares down at you, confused.
“How long?” You ask.
His eyes flick between yours a moment as he processes your question. “I think it’s probably telling that I wanted you to be my fake girlfriend at all, Y/n.”
You blink, realization hitting you. “Did you know? This whole time?”
“No,” He laughs pathetically. “And Yamaguchi’s never going to let me live it down.”
“Why did you call that night a mistake?” You need to know, even if you’re not sure you want to hear the reason. It’s been killing you.
“I didn’t-” He sighs, rubbing at his brow. “I didn’t say it was a mistake. I said I wish I had done it right.” He meets your eyes, his own so close and golden and honest. You’d missed them. “I wanted to tell you I loved you first. Because I didn’t want you to worry that it was just a hookup.”
You hadn’t realized that his answer would drain you of all your energy. You slump, letting out an exhausted sigh. “And you couldn’t just say that?”
“Well, you couldn’t just listen .” He rolls his eyes, and you see a twinge of irritation in his brow. You laugh softly, and it worsens. “You think that’s funny, huh?” He says, staring down at you. “This could have all been avoided if you’d just heard me out, but you like to act insane.”
“And you like to say the worst things at the worst times!” You argue, half-laughing and half-angry. “Why couldn’t you wait until the morning? Why did I have to wake up and find you contemplating your whole life in the dark?”
“Because I felt guilty!” He snaps, and you’re taken aback, a little offended. He’d felt guilty for sleeping with you? “Because I was terrified I had ruined your first time by not doing it right and making this official between us beforehand. I hadn’t wanted you to be self-conscious the first time.”
You find it in you to be a little appreciative of that. That he had wanted you to know how sure he was, that you were safe with him no matter what.
And also-” He rolls his eyes. “Not for nothing, but we were drunk, and I couldn’t tell if I was too rough, and I really hadn’t wanted to hurt you -”
It seems your moment of appreciation is over.
“ Why do you keep treating me like I’m fragile?” You bite. “You kept asking, over and over again, if I was okay. If I was sure I wanted to keep going. You were so careful with me, Tsukki – Get over yourself! I’m not going to break!”
He just stares. You realize what you’ve said. You remember who you’re talking to.
“Not gonna break, huh?” He mumbles, eyes flicking down to your lips. He seems like he wants to say something else, but he holds back.
You don’t.
“Yeah. Want me to prove it?”
You watch in real time as his eyes fill with understanding.
“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He says, eyes flicking between yours. You start to argue, because he’s doing it again , but he cuts you short. “With me? So soon?”
Oh.
He must not realize how badly you’ve missed him. How much it’s hitting you, now that you understand what had gone wrong between you. That you’d been stupid. That he’d been stupid.
Would it be wrong to rile him up? Probably.
“Why, Tsukki? You got a lot to take out on me?” His eyes flicker dangerously, and you take a single step closer, craning your neck back to look at him. “You got your work cut out for you. Apparently, I’m not good at listening.”
His resolve goes out the window, and he dips his head low, lips brushing yours. Your soul aches for him.
“ I can make you good at listening. ”
You smile. “ Well, you’re not gonna do it by being gentle. ”
He drags you out the door before you can even process that it’s been opened. He pulls you down the hall toward the back entrance of the conference venue, and you laugh, glancing back toward the main room.
“People are gonna notice that you’re gone, Tsukki-”
“I’ll make it up to them.” He hauls you outside, all but carrying you down the steps to the limo. There are no reporters out here, probably because they’re all inside, so it’s no issue for him to quite literally toss you into the back of the limo with reckless abandon. Your hands find him before he’s got the door all the way closed.
And then his mouth is on yours, and you feel all the things that had fallen out of place finally align again. His lips are warm and urgent, and your fingers are tight in his hair. He knocks blindly on the window separating the back from the driver’s side of the limo, and the car starts to move just as he’s pushing you down on the seat. You topple back, and Tsukki climbs over you, his mouth attaching to your throat.
“ Tsukki ,” You breathe, relief filling your lungs. He groans quietly, hands sliding your dress up your legs and over your thighs.
“ Fuck, I missed you ,” He mumbles into your skin. “This is real, right? Not a dream?”
You giggle, your chest pressing up into his, and you feel him smile wide against you. “You saying this isn’t a dream come true, Tsukishima? I can leave, if you want-”
“God, I can’t wait to fuck that attitude out of you,” He says, spreading your thighs and slotting himself between them. “How has your mouth not gotten you in trouble yet?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to do something about it,” You say, shrugging. “Might be too late, now. I’m getting pretty good at it.”
“Don’t complain when I break you,” He whispers before biting down hard on your shoulder. You moan loudly, slapping a hand over your mouth in embarrassment because the driver of this limo does not need to hear that. Tsukki laughs against you.
“You asked me not to be gentle. Are you regretting it?”
You shake your head furiously. Your stomach flips over and over on itself, and there’s that warm buzzing filling your skin that you’ve come to associate with him.
“No?” He whispers. “You like it?”
“ Mm- “ You wriggle under him, your dress sliding up as you push yourself against him. “Yeah-yes. Mhm .”
His hold on your hips tightens. “Lucky me,” He responds, a little breathless. He uses his grip to drag you down the leather seat a little more, forcing your thighs open so he can press his hips against you. You moan quietly in his ear, feeling him against your core, already half-hard.
“Need you, Tsukki.”
“Yeah? Am I supposed to give it to you just because of that?”
You get the feeling this night won’t be easy on your pride, but that’s okay. You think you might be desperate enough by the time you get home.
“I suppose that wouldn’t be fair,” You whisper, and he snickers against your skin.
“No, I don’t think it would. You’ve got a lot to make up to me.”
“How do you want me to make it up to you?”
“Patience, sweetheart,” He murmurs. “I don’t plan to do anything until I have you in my bed.”
You whine, but you can also feel the limo starting to make the slow turn into Tsukki’s driveway. He sits you up, watching you fix your dress and smiling when your cheeks flush at the state of yourself. Your skin is hot, and your thighs tremble a little, and your hair’s come undone. And yet, Tsukki looks perfectly put together.
You hide behind your hair as he helps you out of the limo and walks you to the door. Lights flash behind you, and you hear one of the reporters mumble ‘ I didn’t realize the event ended ’ to the person beside him. Tsukki starts laughing the moment his front door closes, and you groan loudly while trudging toward the stairs.
“They’re gonna know , Tsukki.”
“You embarrassed?”
“Yes! Of course I am-” Before you can turn to him, you’re air-lifted over his shoulder. You start to scream, flailing while he takes the stairs to his room.
“Good. Then I want them to know.” He sets you on your feet by his bed, and you huff, fixing your dress.
You look around while he closes the door. You haven’t been here in ages, all of your time with him spent at your place. You turn slowly, taking in the familiar sight of his room. It’s so different being here, after all this time.
You’re so distracted by his room that you aren’t prepared for the fingers he puts on your forearm or the way he spins you toward him.
You’re equally unprepared for the hand he plants on your shoulder before shoving you hard. You yelp, falling flat on your back and bouncing on his mattress. By the time you find his eyes, he’s standing over you, loosening his tie.
His eyes are cold. “What do you want to apologize for first?”
“What?” You say dumbly, watching the tie come loose. His jacket goes next, and then his white dress-shirt.
“Which one, Y/n? Listening to too many people on the internet? Not believing me when I’d flirt with you?” He leans over you, his hands flat on the bed on either side of you. “Or not hearing me out that night? Causing this whole mess.”
“I didn’t cause that alone,” You argue, and his eyebrows lift with humor.
“You’re still talking back?” He stands, reaching for the button on his pants. “Guess we’ll start here then.”
“Gonna put my mouth to use?” You joke, but there’s a rush of heat that, funnily enough, soaks your panties right through. You stare down at his hands, watching the zipper slide down and feeling your mouth water a little bit.
“You ever done this before?” He mumbles, eyes trailing down your body hungrily as he hooks a thumb into the waistband of his boxers. You nod quickly, but he just raises a brow and lifts his other hand, still holding the black tie. “Like this?”
You stare, your heart thumping with excitement. “No,” You breathe. “Can’t say I have.”
He smirks down at you, beckoning you to him with two fingers. “On your knees.”
You scramble to kick your heels off and get into position at the end of the mattress. He stands over you and holds one hand out, looking down at you in amusement when you put both wrists in his hand.
“You’re a bit eager.” When you nod, he just drops your wrists.
Your heart drops a little. “Wha-” You gasp, because he’s sliding the tie over your eyes and knotting it in the back, whispering ‘ So close, sweetheart ’ in your ear. You moan, your thighs sliding open on the bed.
“Pinch me if something doesn’t feel right,” He murmurs distractedly, and you hear the shuffle of his pants on his skin. “ Hard, Y/n. You hear me?”
“ Mhm . Pinch,” You say, panting slightly. When he laughs, your panties start to stick to your skin.
“God, you want this so badly, don’t you?” The tip of his cock touches your lips, and you dart your tongue out right away, swirling it around the head. Tsukki sighs heatedly over you, and then his fingers tangle in your hair. “My own personal little whore.”
You groan, trying to take him in your mouth, but he uses his grip to hold you back.
“Say please.”
Your stomach flips hard, because you know ‘ please’ wouldn’t be enough.
“Please, Tsukki,” You whisper. “Make me your whore.”
He inhales sharply, and you decide right there that you want to hear him fall apart. When he touches your lips again and tightens his grip, you know you have no control here. So you just let your mouth fall open.
The first time he slides into your mouth, his cock hits the back of your throat, and you gag.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He chuckles. “Thought you wanted it rough.” You recover as quickly as you can, breathing deep through your nose and sucking hard when he pulls back. He groans under his breath and thrusts his hips again, humming when you take him properly. “ That’s it, Y/n. ” He pulls you off of him for a moment, and you whine quietly. “Can you keep taking it like that?”
“Stop-” You croak, breathing heavily. “- fucking asking , Tsukishima.”
There’s silence over you, and then he yanks your head back, talking right over the yelp you let out. “If you say so.”
You get no more chances to recover, your breath sputtered and coughed around him as he sets a pace that stings. You moan loudly while he fucks your throat, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth and falling to your chest. Your fingers twitch on his thighs, and, after a few moments listening to the soft groans he lets out over you, one of your hands moves down to your thigh and slides to your core. You barely get two fingers on your clit when his voice bites out.
“ Don’t -” He snaps. “- even think about it .”
You whine around him, earning a particularly hard thrust that slams against the back of your throat. You latch onto his thighs again, digging your nails in.
“Not so mouthy now, huh?” He pants. “Not so fucking annoying. No choice but to listen.” You nod shallowly, unhinging your jaw a little more, until it hurts. He moans quietly. “Maybe you’ll listen when I tell you how pretty you look like this, baby. So fucking pretty, drooling all over my cock.”
Your whine is loud this time, and he laughs breathily. “You like that? Didn’t know you were into this, sweetheart – good to know.”
And then he pulls you right off him, your gasps echoing in his room. You cough, your chest heaving, but he doesn’t give you more time than that, his hands on your shoulders again. You’re less shocked when you’re shoved onto your back, and you’re too busy catching your breath to do much more than moan when he takes your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed.
Tsukki hooks his fingers into your panties and rips them down your thighs, laughing cruelly. “Aw, look at you. You’re a mess just from that?”
You dig your fingers into his comforter, still blindfolded. “You’re an ass- mm! ”
Tsukishima Kei’s just stuffed your own soiled panties in your mouth.
“Still talking too much,” He mutters, and you hear something hit the floor. You only realize it’s his knees when his fingers grip your thighs hard enough to bruise and his tongue flattens over your clit.
You scream, muffled, and arch your back on the mattress. Your fingers fly into his hair just as he’s dragging his tongue over your folds a second time, but he pulls away. He bites down hard on your thigh, ignoring the jolt of your body.
“I didn’t say you could touch me.” Your fingers cling to the covers again, and it takes everything in you not to grab him when he spits hard on your clit. “Better.”
He eats you out like that, his face buried between your thighs as you scream and moan and nearly make your fingers go numb from how hard you fist the blankets. You have no clue how long it’s been or when it had happened, but you realize eventually that he’s slipped two fingers into you, curling and spreading them against spots you didn’t even know existed. Your body twitches when he pushes up against your g-spot, and you grind your hips up toward his mouth unconsciously.
You pay for it immediately, his mouth and fingers leaving you. You start to complain, but it’s turned into a scream when his hand comes down hard on your overly sensitive clit.
“I really do have my work cut out for me, huh?” He pants, breathless and raspy. “You’re a lot of work, sweetheart.” Your eyes prickle with tears, and you shake your head hard. He huffs out a laugh, breath cold on your heated core. “No? You’re not a lot of work?” When you shake your head again, he coos at you condescendingly. “You promise to be good?” You nod, and he laughs again. “Okay, then. Spread your legs for me.”
You peel your aching fingers off of the blankets and hook them around your thighs, spreading your legs and pressing your knees toward your chest until it starts to hurt. You hear Tsukki’s pants hit the floor, and he groans openly down at you.
“God, you look so good like this,” He mutters under his breath. “Can I take a picture?”
Your heart jumps. You’d always thought you would never be comfortable with something like that, but the thought of Tsukki having a picture of you on his phone – a picture of you looking like this – has you clenching hard around nothing. You nod firmly, unconsciously pulling your thighs open even further.
He lets out a surprised breath, and then you hear him scrambling for his pants on the floor. “ Fuck- ” He hisses, throwing things around, and you hear the thump of his phone hitting the rug under his desk. “ Fuck, fuck- ” You start to giggle, the sound muffled but still audible. “Don’t fucking laugh at me, you fucking asshole – I wasn’t expecting you to say yes-”
Your laugh is loud now, but when you hear him stumble back over to you and feel his hand on the underside of your thigh, your stomach flips and your breath cuts short. The camera shutter goes off, and goosebumps break out over your skin, a soft moan leaving you.
“You’re into this too, sweetheart?” He asks, laughing to himself. His phone hits the bed somewhere beside you. “You like when I take pictures of you?” You nod, your face flushing hard, but he slides his cock through your folds before you have time to be embarrassed. You moan, feeling the tip bump up against your clit with each shallow thrust. “Maybe one day we can film it.”
You moan wantonly, and his own moan joins yours as he sinks into you in one slow thrust. Your breath leaves your lungs as he pulls back and slams his hips into yours. “You took me all at once, baby,” He groans, anchoring himself to your hips. “You must have missed me.”
You nod desperately, and you feel his weight drop over you on the mattress. His fingers hook gently into the blindfold, despite how roughly his hips collide with yours, and he tugs the material up to your forehead. You blink rapidly, squinting when the light hits your eyes and trying to readjust while Tsukki drives his cock into you.
When you finally do gain your bearings, the first thing you find is him. Your eyes lock with his, and your own widen drastically as you take him in. His face is flushed, a sheen of sweat glinting off his skin. His eyebrows are furrowed with concentration, and his arms are flexed as he drags you down to meet him halfway with each thrust.
Your eyes roll back into your head almost immediately, the sight too much to handle while he fucks you. Your moans come out louder now, and – although you’re still muffled – you’re infinitely glad you’re not doing this at your apartment, surrounded by thin walls and neighbors. Here, you can moan as loud as you want. Here, you don’t have to care about the way his headboard slams against the wall. Here, you can arch your back and scream his name, over and over again around your panties.
He hears it the third time it comes out, the syllables of his name garbled but clearly his. His expression changes, those furrowed brows creasing even more and his lips parting as he lets out a series of quiet moans every time he hears his own name.
“ Fuck, ” He says, letting your waist go and dropping down hard over you, his hands hitting the bed on either side of you. “ Fuck , Y/n. I love you-” Your vision gets blurry, and your eyes burn, but you only notice you’re crying when the tears stream down toward your ears. “Listen to you, screaming my name like that,” He pants, his hips stuttering for a moment. The realization that he’s close to finishing sends you hurtling toward your own orgasm. “So fucking perfect. Fucking perfect for me.”
His fingers dig into the material in your mouth, and he pries it out, tossing the panties somewhere behind him. Your jaw aches, but you forget it when he meets your eyes.
“Say it for me, sweetheart.”
“Tsukki-” You cry. “ Please, Tsukki- ” Your fingers itch to touch him. “Please, I love you – Can I-” You start to cry harder, your vision gone completely as you sob, the feeling of him slamming into you too much now.
“Yes, baby, yes-” His breath hitches when you clench around him, and he nods tightly. “You can touch me-”
Your fingers fly into his hair, and you drag him down roughly, smashing your lips to his. You both moan, and you ramble deliriously against his mouth. “ Love you, I love you, I- ”
He shudders over you, groaning as he stills with his hips pressed tight to yours. He spills into you, his body shaking against yours as he fills you. The feeling of it throws you right off the edge, and you cry against his lips while you come, your back twitching and arching toward his.
He’s collapsed onto you by the time you’re done, breathing hard in your ear. “ Fuck , Y/n,” He sighs. You wrap your legs tiredly around his waist, exhaustion taking you over.
“How did we do all that with my dress still on?” You whisper weakly, too tired to even smile when he starts to laugh.
“God, I love you. You’re so fucking stupid.”
That one does make you laugh. You feed off of each other, worsening until you’re both wheezing together.
Finally, he buries his face in your neck, sighing. “I’m sorry.”
Your heart lurches. “For?”
“Everything,” he says. “ Everything, Y/n. For saying the opposite of what I meant. For not saying the things I wanted to.”
You say nothing, just wrapping your arms tight around his neck. “I’m sorry, too. For not listening to the right person. And for thinking the worst of you just because I was scared.”
He stays quiet a moment, just breathing you in. “Does that mean you aren’t breaking up with me?”
You chew on your lip, suddenly nervous. “Does that mean we’re together?”
“I don’t think any of this was ever fake for me.”
You bring his face up to yours, kissing him deeply. “I don’t think it was for me, either,” You whisper against his lips. He smiles, pulling back to look down at you.
“Can I still ask you to be my girlfriend? My real girlfriend?”
You stare up at him a moment, and then your brow furrows. “I don’t think you ever asked me to be your girlfriend at all.”
He blanches.
“Oh, fuck.”
You remind him of it for the rest of his life.
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"It's always Fine..."
Tsukishima Kei x F!reader (THIS IS SO SHORT)
Disclaimer - Angst, degradation, arguing, cussing, reader goes through a toxic relationship with her ex, "We're just friends, but we love eachother" ahh behavior, mentions of Yamaguchi being better than you, and you calling kei gay -
"I'm busy", said the four-eyed man staring at you annoyingly, sitting in his chair with his headphones wrapped around his neck and looking at you stare at him back with the same energy.
"You never have time for me, but you can spend time with Tadashi and go out with him!"
"Stop acting childish and screaming, you know how my mom reacts to noise, she immediatly goes to see what all the commotion is."
"I'm not yelling, you're just being an asshole!"
Tsukishima then gets a 'ding' on his phone, as he goes through his notifs he gets up and gathers his things.
"Get out..."
"Why?"
"I have to go to Yams' house..."
"Aww, that's cute, you have a little nickname for him, what's next, you're gonna let him meat-ride you more," you say sarcastically.
"I'm not gay, you dumbass"
"Fine, I'll get out, once you tell me what you think of "Yams".
"He is better than you and that is all you need to know, and plus he's not annoying."
You stand there as the sour boy, walks past you and drags you 2 seconds later.
"Stop standing there and get out and go to your little boyfriend," he says harshly
Tears start welling in your eyes, "You know I can't go back to that...that....
The blondie goes up to you and hugs you, "Fine, I won't go and hang out with Yamaguchi...just don't cry...you know what it does to me."
"Thank you.."
"Yeah, sure."
He then takes you and puts you on his bed and he big spoons you.
"Can I be the big spoon please," you say as you give him puppy eyes.
"Fine..."
One little kiss on his forehead isn't much for him to feel vulnerable in YOUR arms clearly.
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NOVEMBER SONG
SUMMARY: Yamaguchi Tadashi always saw himself as a side character. However, there came a day whereby he did not want to live like that anymore. He wanted to be seen, to be noticed, to be perhaps, loved — all because of a single person: you.
PAIRING: yamaguchi tadashi x gn! reader
GENRE(S): pining (one sided)
WC: 1559
NOTE(S): inspired by baek yerin's november song + dw it has a happy ending
MASTERLIST
TAGLIST (italicised blogs are unable to be tagged): @deeomi
Yamaguchi Tadashi was that boy: the awkward, quiet boy who sat in the corner of the classroom right next to the windows. He never spoke unless he was spoken to, and he only talked more than he needed to with Tsukishima. He was always seen by girls as Tsukishima's friend, the one that can be used as a channel to get close to the tall blonde. (Yamaguchi had always felt bad for them, because Tsukishima never paid them much attention in the first place.)
Yamaguchi always saw himself as a side character. If he were to appear in a fairytale, he would be the page boy appearing on page fifteen, or perhaps even the faceless gardener drawn in the background. For him, just being there was okay, as long as he was not disrupting the flow of anything. It was okay if Tsukishima was the focal point and he was the 'but'. As long as he was not a forgotten face, he was okay with it.
However, there came a day he did not want to live like that anymore. He wanted to be seen, to be noticed, to be perhaps, loved — all because of a single person: you.
It was funny, was it not? To have lived like an extra of a major production but wanting to be noticed all of a sudden? To be the star, the protagonist, the hero? (Maybe he did not want to be the hero, per se; he just wanted to be seen as a someone for once.)
"What's wrong with you?" Tsukishima asked one day, his patented impassive, blank look still on his face, "You're happier and, I don't know... jittery, these few days."
"M-Me?" Yamaguchi stuttered, then rushed to fill in that dubious reply with a scoff, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes," the blonde sighed through his nose, "Yes, you do."
Yamaguchi did not say anything else. Arguing with his friend would not get him anywhere; Tsukishima was perpetually right all the time. Winning an argument against him would be doing the impossible. It would be akin to proving that Newton was lying when he proved that gravity exists.
So it was natural that Tsukishima was proven right once again when he caught Yamaguchi staring a tad bit too long than usual at a particular person. Tsukishima recognised them: it was [F/N] from the next-door Physics class.
"So, [F/N]?" Tsukishima said after class, a hint of mischief in his golden-brown eyes.
Yamaguchi immediately turned a few shades darker of red, wishing he could disappear into his hair or thin air, he did not mind which.
"You can't be just simply staring at them, you know," the taller male said with a little sigh, "They won't be able to notice you that way."
"I just don't want to embarrass myself," the freckled male said meekly, then added in a softer voice, "I'm just... me. There's nothing special about me."
"No, there is," Tsukishima said, "There are things about you that make you special."
There was a brief pause as Tsukishima frowned, before he elaborated, "Being caring, for instance, and being nice. Not everyone has a soft heart like you, Yamaguchi."
Yamaguchi's jaw fell slightly, and he stared at his friend with wide eyes. Tsukishima had never really complimented him before, so this was something new and big. Monumental, even.
He smiled, "Thanks, Tsukki."
Catching a person's attention, however, proved to be difficult. He did not know how Tsukishima managed to do it, but he was surely envious of whatever the blonde had that he himself was lacking in. However, he thought of a plan that he found always proved to be successful in almost every drama his mother watched.
"[F/N]?" he said one day as he approached you, your name rolling off his lips easily yet oddly, like it was meant to be.
You quirked an eyebrow up at him, beckoning him to continue.
"I-I was wondering if you'd like to study together," he said, stuttering unintentionally at the start, to which he mentally berated and kicked himself for, "Additional Mathematics, especially. I can't quite grasp linear law." That was a lie; he was rather good at Additional Mathematics, and his best topic was linear law.
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "But aren't you good in Additional Mathematics?"
He winced internally. Drat, he was caught. Time to deploy Plan B.
"I was thinking it could be more of a revision session," he said before any doubts could cross your mind, "I can't prepare with Tsukki either; he has tuition classes."
"Oh, okay," you said, shrugging your shoulders slightly, "How does Saturday afternoon sound?"
"Sounds good," he said, smiling and hoping it did not look too creepy or off-putting in any way (because God forbid he scared you off after his very first interaction with you), "We'll do that."
The revision sessions did prove to help; Yamaguchi got closer to you. Perhaps it was even a little too fast-paced than he originally thought it would be, since he clearly did not plan too far ahead when he realised a harmless little crush turned into a full-blown and slightly dangerous love. Every little accidental touch sent both of your hands jerking away from each other, every slightly prolonged glance sent both of your cheeks burning whenever they were caught, and every smile set both of your hearts pounding furiously against both of your ribcages.
"You're in love with them," Tsukishima blurted out one day during lunch, which caused Yamaguchi to choke on his rice.
"W-What?" he said as he pounded on his chest, looking at Tsukishima with wide eyes, similar to that of a fish's.
"[F/N]," Tsukishima said casually, picking a cherry tomato from his lunchbox with his chopsticks.
Yamaguchi covered his face in his hands, "Is it really that obvious?"
"Anyone would know," Tsukishima said plainly, "It's that obvious."
A pause followed as Tsukishima chewed on the cherry tomato, then, "Aren't you going to confess?"
"M-Me? Confess?" Yamaguchi stuttered as he dropped his hands to his sides, "It's not that easy, you know!"
"What century are you living in, Yamaguchi?" Tsukishima asked with a snort before closing his lunchbox, "It doesn't matter who asks the other person out. Anyway—" — The blonde paused and stared at his friend before continuing — "Don't you want to make a lasting impression on them?"
Yamaguchi bit his lower lip. He was never one to be macho or manly in any way. He was the shy and gentle guy; he would be a stammering mess with pink-tinted cheeks. However, Tsukishima had raised a valid point. It was time to "man up", like Tanaka-senpai had always said, and make the first move, like chess.
Tsukishima stood up, taking his lunchbox with him.
"Be confident," Tsukishima said, patting the dark green-haired male on the shoulder before walking off, "I know you can do it."
And so he did; he puffed his chest out and summoned every ounce of willpower he had to brave through the confession, to enunciate his words clearly without hesitation.
He expected rejection. Which person, in their right mind, would say yes?
Apparently, you were that person, which pleasantly surprised him.
He always wondered, what exactly did you see in him that made you agree? He hoped you were not just doing it out of pity, or worse, using him to get close to Tsukishima. (A lot of people liked Tsukki better than the plain old Yamaguchi anyway.)
However, you always reassured him gently, all while taking his hands, that you did it because you reciprocated his feelings. You were not lying to him in any way, neither did your actions have any underlying meaning. You were willing to be together with him, to be his other half, to be the one supporting him at one hundred percent.
Whenever he felt down, whenever he felt useless, whenever he felt like the world was against him for some unknown and odd reason, you were always there to give a hug, to tell him that everything was going to be alright, and that you were physical proof that you were there and would not be going anywhere. It was during times like these that Yamaguchi knew for sure that this love was meant to be his and it was uniquely his, that a bond like this would never come again in his entire lifetime.
Even if this love was broken, trampled on, and tested, it would never fade. Both of you would always come back together, like unlike poles, the right puzzle pieces filling in the gaps.
Maybe this love was not romantic according to society's standards, but that was okay. It was the bond and overwhelming feelings that words could not describe make this love special, one that cannot be recreated.
He hoped he could be the one for you, too: the shoulder you could cry on, the first person you would share good news with, the Mr. Right in your happily ever after. That future was close in reach, but he did not know that. For now, he was content with the way he lived with you, and that was perfectly fine.
As long as the two of you were connected, like two single lines diverged together into one, everything will be fine.
#💫—qq writes#writeblr#writing#yamaguchi x reader#yamaguchi x y/n#yamaguchi x yn#yamaguchi x you#yamaguchi#yamaguchi tadashi x reader#yamaguchi tadashi x y/n#yamaguchi tadashi x yn#yamaguchi tadashi x you#yamaguchi tadashi#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#haikyuu#haikyuu yamaguchi#haikyuu yamaguchi tadashi
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𝕽𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘 & 𝕯𝕹𝕴
➤ What I write!
fluff, angst, comfort. Character x reader, character x character, poly. M!Reader, GN!Reader, F!Reader. Drabble, headcanons, alphabet, fanfic.
Currently writing for Jujutsu Kaisen, Kimetsu No Yaiba and One Piece!
➤ Who I write for!
Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Nobara Kugisaki, Maki Zenin, Toge Inumaki, Yuta Okkotsu, Kinji Hakari, Kirara Hoshi, Noritoshi Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, Shiu Kong, Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Ieiri Shoko, Kento Nanami, Takuma Ino, Choso, Naoya Zenin, Hiromi Higuruma, Fumihiko Takaba, Charles Bernards, Junpei Yushino, Ryomen Sukuna, Uraume, Mahito [platonically] -JJK Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Genya Shinazugawa, Hotaru Haganezuka, Yoriichi Tsugikuni, Gyutaro, Daki, Kaigaku, Akaza, Douma, Kokushibo, Kyogai, Muzan Kibutsuji, Kyojuro Rengoku, Gyomei Himejima, Muichiro Tokito, Giyu Tomioka, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Shinobu Kocho, Mitsuri Kanroji, Obanai Iguro, Tengen Uzui [with his wives] - KNY Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto Todoroki, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima, Hanta Sero, Ibara Shiozaki, Neito Monoma, Tamaki Amajiki, Yo Shindo, Inasa Ioarashi, Keigo Takami, Shota Aizawa, Touya Todoroki, Himiko Toga, Atsuhiro Sako, Kai Chisaki. - BNHA Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Kei Tsukishima, Ryunosuke Tanaka, Yu Nishinoya, Koushi Sugawara, Daichi Sawamura, Asahi Azumane, Toru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi, Kentaro Kyotani, Tetsuro Kuroo, Kozume Kenma, Morisuke Yaku, Lev Haiba, Taketora Yamamoto, Takanobu Aone, Kanji Koganegawa, Kotaro Bokuto, Keiji Akaashi, Akinori Konoha, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Eita Semi, Satori Tendo, Tsutomu Goshiki, Yuji Terushima, Suguru Daisho, Kiyoomi Sakusa, Motoya Komori, Shinsuke Kita, Osamu Miya, Atsumu Miya, Rintaro Suna, Korai Hoshiumi. - Hq Monkey D. Luffy [platonically], Koby, Shanks, Roronoa Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Buggy, Mihawk, Smoker, Portgas D. Ace, Sir Crocodile, Gild Tesoro, Eustass Kid, Killer, Trafalgar D. Water Law - OP [To be updated!]
Any other character not written in this list will not be accepted!
➤ What I DON'T write!
P*do, inc*st, zooph*lia, r*pe. Anything with v*mit, sc*t, p*ss. Smut.
➤ DNI!
racists, pedophiles, homophobes, sexists, proshippers.
➤ Remember that I'm a student, so if you send a request it might be take time. Please, be patient! ^.^
© ꜰᴏxɴɪᴋᴋɪ on tumblr - do not repost, copy, translate, modify, etc my work on any platform. Comments and reblogs are appreciated.
#rules#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#kny x reader#kny x y/n#kny x you#my hero academia#mha#bnha#bhna x reader#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#haikyuu#hq x reader#hq x you#hq x y/n#one piece#op x reader#op x y/n#op x you#𐀔 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 𐀔
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MASTERLIST !
— all works tagged under —out of spite; gwen because i would most likely have no time to link everything
— angst/hurt [a] ; fluff/comfort [f] ; crack/humor [c] ; suggestive [s]
— ♡ personal faves
updated: 8/20/23
[ HCS ]
[ SMAU ]
# SERIES
afraid — iwaizumi hajime x f!reader filo smau [ong] if fate permits — kuroo x f!reader smau [ong]
# HAIKYUU
millennialcore [c] how many dicks are you choking on? [c/s] i’m breaking up with you | sorry wrong person [c] pretty boy [f] jealous boys [f] what about me [f]
[ HAIKYUU ]
— KARASUNO
# TSUKISHIMA KEI
seeing your toxic ex [f] “bite your lip once more, i dare you” [s] i just put on lip gloss [f]
# KAGEYAMA TOBIO
seeing your toxic ex [f]
# HINATA SHOYO
seeing your toxic ex [f]
# YAMAGUCHI TADASHI
nostalgic for the moment [f]
# DAICHI SAWAMURA
how dare you [f]
— NEKOMA
# KUROO TETSURO
♡ seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ forever in a few hours [f] ♡ mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] they get teased with someone else [a/f] ♡ pushing you away [a/f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] ♡ regret and other cliches [a/f] baby i’m yours [f] oh no there’s only one court [f] i hope ur ok [f] i lost them [f] sober thoughts, drunk confessions [a/f] fluffy hair drabble they make you flinch [a/f] paper rings [a] how dare you [f] rubber ducks [f]
# KENMA KOZUME
♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] second best [a/f]
— AOBA JOHSAI
# OIKAWA TOORU
seeing your toxic ex [f] “sorry, is that supposed to impress me?” [f] oh no there’s only one court [f] i hope ur ok [f]
# IWAIZUMI HAJIME
♡ mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] seeing your toxic ex [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] 505 [a/s] the simple things [f] i just put on lip gloss [f]
# MATSUKAWA ISSEI
seeing your toxic ex [f] i lost them [f]
— FUKURODANI
# BOKUTO KOUTARO
♡ seeing your toxic ex [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f]
# AKAASHI KEIJI
“you’re an idiot.” “but you love me.” [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] trees [a/f]
— SHIRATORIZAWA
# TENDOU SATORI
“you couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.” [f]
— INARIZAKI
# SUNA RINTARO
seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ they get teased with someone else [a/f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] ♡ regret and other cliches [a/f] “give me one reason why i shouldn’t leave.” [a/f] focus [a] hickey prank [f] i hope ur ok [f] i lost them [f] they make you flinch [a/f]
# MIYA ATSUMU
mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] seeing your toxic ex [f] “god, i love your hands.” “let’s put them to good use then.” [s] ♡ “where have you been all my life?” “hiding from you.” [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] hickey prank [f] i lost them [f] they make you flinch [a/f] how dare you [f]
# MIYA OSAMU
seeing your toxic ex [f] i miss the old u [a] i just put on lip gloss [f] how dare you [f]
— OTHER
# TERUSHIMA YUUJI
all fun and games until someone catches feelings [a/f] pillow talk [f] cigarette kisses [a/f]
# SAKUSA KIYOOMI
seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] hickey prank [f]
[ JUJUTSU KAISEN ]
# NANAMI KENTO
whatever you do, dont [f] sweet [f/s]
# GOJO SATORU
sticky [s]
# INUMAKI TOGE
indigo [f]
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YOU ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING: ANIME MASTERLIST
ATTACK ON TITAN
"Freedom" — Eren Jaeger x F!Reader
Eren and the reader break up. cw: angst, breakup, established relationship
"Nightmares" — Jean Kirstein x F!Reader
Jean comforts reader after a nightmare. cw: angst, comfort, established relationship
"The Truth" — Zeke Jaeger x GN!Reader
Reader has gone months without answers as to Zeke's sudden disappearance, but now they're given the chance to speak with him. cw: angst, established relationship
BLACK CLOVER
"First Kiss" — Multi x GN!Reader (drabble)
Y/N has their first kiss with the Captains. Characters: Charlotte, Julius, Rill, Yami CW: alcohol, established relationships, fluff, slightly suggestive
"Focus" — Fuegoleon Vermillion x F!Reader (one-shot)
Coming soon! cw: angst, captain/subordinate relationship, commoner!reader, female reader, first kiss, fluff, getting together, magic knight!reader, pining, referenced (small) age gap
"Who Confessed First?" — Multi x GN!Reader (headcanon)
BLEACH — Coming soon!
CHAINSAW MAN — Coming soon!
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST
"Adrenaline" — Roy Mustang x F!Reader (one-shot)
Sometimes the Colonel gets a little... distracted. cw: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, mentions of bullet wound, not canon compliant
"Little Did I Know" — Roy Mustang x F!Reader (one-shot)
cw: angst, cheating, dating, first dates, hurt/no comfort, implied/referenced sex
HAIKYUU!!
"Good Luck" — Bokuto Kotarou x GN!Reader
Just before a big game, a good luck kiss is what a player needs. cw: established relationship, fluff, post-timeskip
"Flowers for Her" — Yamaguchi Tadashi x F!Reader (3 sentence fic)
Yamaguchi surprises reader. cw: fluff
"It's Okay" — Sugawara Koushi x F!Reader
cw: comfort, crying
"Prank Gone Wrong" — Kuroo Tetsurou x F!Reader (3 sentence fic)
Intending to prank Lev, Kuroo’s prank doesn’t go as planned. cw: crack??
"When You Are Feeling Down" — Multi x GN!Reader (drabble)
The boys when you are not feeling your best. cw: comfort, established relationship, post-timeskip
JUJUTSU KAISEN
"Dawn" — Nanami Kento x F!Reader (one-shot)
Nanami spends his morning with his pregnant wife. cw: established relationship, fluff, married, pet names, pregnancy
KAIJU NO. 8
"Inexperienced" — Hoshina Soshiro x GN!Reader (MDNI)
Coming soon! cw: blowjob, established relationship, smut with no plot
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○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ A Perfect Circle ╝
Premise: When you like the guy who likes the guy that likes you, things get a little out of hand, when a triangle becomes a circle not just one gets hurt.
Word Count: 2484
Chapter 3: First love
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
Yamaguchi Tadashi had been in your mind ever since the day you met him, he was like a plague invading all your thoughts.
The way his nose twitched when he didn’t know the answer during a test, the way his throat went up down so vividly every time he was nervous.
His little sighs when he was bored, the way the wind messed up his hair every morning.
While all this seemed more than normal and even boring to your other friends, to you, it was more than enough to make you lose sleep.
A love like no other some would say, pure, not tainted by lust or other unworthy feelings.
What you didn’t know though, is that to Tsukishima Kei, you meant exactly the same.
While you were sleeping soundly on the air mattress in his room, all he could think about was of your beautiful face. How funny and silly it looked when you snorted at his turtle comments, how you thought he was nice, how your smile could light an oven on its own.
It was overly distracting and incredibly annoying to feel this way.
He knew he shouldn’t, his best friend since childhood clearly had a thing with you, and you, well you were very much in love with him, that much was clear.
He shouldn’t be thinking of that cute little mole of yours and how much he wanted to kiss it, how soft your hair might be, how he wanted to play with it while you slept on his chest, how he wanted to take a whiff of that fruity scent that came out of it when he was near.
It was frustrating, he wanted to hit his face with a baseball bat just as much as he wanted to smash his lips on yours and take all the Yamaguchi off of them right away.
While this happens to most people on their teenage years, for him this was the first time.
He had a girlfriend once, mostly to get Yamaguchi off his back, he wanted him to realize he wasn’t into guys and that ended up breaking that random girl’s heart, which is ridiculous, he can’t even remember her name, that’s how important she was for him. But you, he can even remember the color of the thread that was hanging lose from your backpack, it was purple yet you weren’t wearing anything that matched that hue, made him go in a rabbit hole of where you might have caught it.
It was ridiculous.
No, he was ridiculous.
Why was that important? Was he really jealous of a stupid tiny piece of fuzzy purple wool? Could have even been from your mother’s sweater, or someone in a bus that bumped onto you. Why was he thinking of such a thing at four in the morning? He’s become lame, age wasn’t doing him any good.
On the contrary, Yamaguchi was sleeping like a baby angel.
His blanket was so comfortable and warm, the soft lingering feeling of your lips on his made his slumber feel so peaceful. He hasn’t had such a fulfilling sleep in ages as he’s been tormenting himself since he has recollection of his feelings for Tsukki, sleeping has never been as necessary as his time dedicated to analyzing his counterpart.
But accepting it’s finally over was so liberating, it was like putting heavy luggage away for good, his back muscles were so relaxed after those kisses of yours, his heart was racing so much it made him tired, overall his condition was great and he was feeling fantastic, though having you in his arms would have made it all even better.
Yamaguchi’s first love was not you, everyone knew this much, but you were his first requited one, and having someone you like to like you back was the most rewarding thing he’s ever felt.
Sunrise has never taken this long to come, but finally, the night was over.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
The sunshine filtering through Tsukishima’s window woke you up bright an early. The air mattress proved to be more comfortable than anticipated and while the night itself was pretty wild and calming down your heart from all the different emotions you had felt all in one night was pretty hard, you had a fairly decent sleep.
When you got up you noticed Tsukki had a rough night, his t-shirt had rolled up to uncover his chiseled abdomen, both feet resting on top of the pillows and his head was nearly on the floor. You wanted to help him get into a comfier position but that was not possible, sadly, the man wasn’t just tall, but extremely heavy.
You had his head in both of your hands when he woke up, his eyes were still half closed but he could see your beautiful hair cascading down his face, “(Y/N)…?” his voice was raw and sleep clad, somehow it made your heart skip a beat, a bit too loud as you gasped and let his head fall back to where it originally was hanging from the side of the couch.
“Ouch…just what were you doing, woman?”
“Um…you….you…were about to fall and I was trying to help you back up the couch so you could sleep some more, but you’re so heavy! Or I’m too puny…that could be too…bottomline is, I failed…” pouting, you plopped down on the floor, your face closer to his hanging one with this new angle.
Even without his glasses on your beauty took his breath away, your lack of makeup, the messy half bun you managed to do to your hair without a mirror…you were so effortlessly beautiful…
“Next time just wake me up and tell me to lay like a normal person.” that made you chuckle, and while he was incredibly uncomfortable and sure that he had pulled a muscle on his neck, he didn’t want to move an inch away from your beautiful face.
“Will do…Tsukishima-san…”
“Kei. Just call me Kei.” his nose had a cute pinkish warmth crawling from within his inner most hidden desires and it just made you smile.
“Kei, do you like pancakes? Or do you like traditional breakfast better?”
“Ugh…I like both, though I don’t think we have what’s needed for pancakes…do you want me to go to the store?” you were assessing the man as he spoke. He was wearing just one sock, his belly was still out in the open and half of his hair was squished up the side of the couch making him look ridiculous.
Unable to hold your giggles you shook your head, wanting to spare him from the neighboring glances. “I’ll go get breakfast ready with what you guys have. Why don’t you go take a shower first? Or would you like to sleep some more? Your room is free now…” the thought of sleeping in his room right now was causing a wild arrange of thoughts to flood his head, just thinking of your sweet smell fluttering in the air, on his blanket…oh god his blanket will definitely smell like you…and his pillow…what if you drooled on it…?
“Ugh no, I…I need a shower…” reluctantly he got up from his awkward position, making more than one bone crack in discomfort as he did so.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast done then!”
Just seeing you in his kitchen was a vision to this man, he just knew he’d be dreaming of this very moment for ages. How nicely Yamaguchi’s apron fit around your waist, how you looked in your element, like this was your own house. It ended up engraved within his brain and he silently wished he’d wake up to this sight every single morning for the rest of his life.
With a heavy heart, he walked up the stairs ready to clear his head after a cold shower and warm bath.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
Unlike Tsukki, Yamaguchi made sure to get ready before going down the stairs, he didn’t want you to see his messy hair and sleepy face, so he went straight to the shower room as soon as he woke up, meeting his friend right at the door on his way out, which only earned him a grumble from the other male.
Once he deemed himself ready, he went down the stairs, instantly wrapping his arms around your waist from behind as he saw you cutting some veggies, “Morning gorgeous~”
“Why hello handsome stranger~” both of your giggles could be heard even with the bathroom door closed, making Tsukki to submerge head and all under water.
“Never been this glad before of the fact the store only sells girly frilly aprons. I should have known it was a sign from the heavens for me to buy it just for this moment.”
“Is that your way of saying I look cute~?”
“Nah, you always look cute. More like, the entire picture of you in my kitchen making breakfast…makes me wanna see it every day…”
How can he do this? Like he’s literally saying out loud everything Tsukki felt ashamed of even thinking of. And the worst part were those awfully thin walls and how he was able to hear everything wherever he was.
“You’re too good to me Yams~”
The silence that fell after that was anxiety inducing to poor Tsukishima. Why was it so quiet all of the sudden? Were they making out again? In his kitchen? With her wearing that pretty apron?
His imagination was vivid and quite accurate, Yamaguchi had you pinned to the sink, his lips trailing kisses down your neck while he played with the apron tassels after a long, loooong deep kiss.
Was this the norm now? Did he really have to get used to this? Was there no way out of this torture?
He’s never wanted to kiss someone this bad in his entire life and knowing his best friend is probably massaging her throat again with his tongue was driving him insane. He wanted to storm out of there and let them hear a thing or two about indecency once more, but his nakedness stopped him from doing so.
While Tsukishima was causing a tsunami in their bathtub, the kitchen was quite a steamy place and had nothing to do with the boiling rice in the pot. If it wasn’t for Tsukishima being in the house at the moment, that apron would be the only thing you’d be wearing.
Once the door to the bathroom slammed shut as Tsukki came out of it, Yamaguchi bolted away, awkwardly sitting on one of the stools as he promised he would.
The loving smile you gave him when he did just that filled his heart with so much joy and so much love, all he could think about was kicking him out of the house already so he could go back to that little purple spot now adorning the side of your neck.
Usually Yamaguchi is the one to leave early for school, he always takes on the morning classes, unlike Tsukki who prefers the afternoon ones as they’re closer to practice time. But this morning, neither you nor Yamaguchi had classes, and Tsukki had a tournament coming right up and had morning practice.
He knew he had to leave, he needed to leave otherwise his coach would chew on his head and bench him for the entire tournament, which was bad for his scholarship. But just looking at that lovesick look on Yamaguchi’s face gave him goosebumps.
Thinking of all the nasty stuff he could get you into as soon as he steps out of the apartment made him worry about his very own dirty thoughts, he wasn’t aware he knew this much about intimacy and even worse, he had never been as curious or willing to experience it all, but more than anything, he was completely sure he didn’t want Yamaguchi being the one to do it with his cute little baby turtle. Wait what? He was sick, definitely.
“Kei! Come sit with us! You didn’t have much so I made some rice and salad! Hope that’s ok.”
“Rice and salad…?”
“Um, I also made some tea…” that made both of them burst out laughing.
“I’m sorry love, I didn’t know we didn’t have food. Must be time to go to the store, maybe we can go later.”
Love? Did he just call you love? Tsukki’s blood was boiling, same as your face as you relished in his affections.
“It’s ok really. And sure! Let’s go later, I’ll cook you some yummy lunch.”
“Do you guys not have school today or what?” poison came out of his mouth with every word.
“We have a class but until late, though we are probably skipping it…”
“Why would you do such a thing?” he felt offended somehow, gave him urges of calling Yamaguchi’s mom as he would do back in middle school.
“Would you not? I mean sadly, is not every day I get to have my babe here all day with me. School can wait.” As he said this, he was pulling you over so you’d sit on his knees, feeding you a little tomato from his salad bowl.
“Ugh I lost my appetite…I’ll be leaving now…”
“I should have gone to the store and get something better…” the little pout gracing your cute little lips made his heart shatter.
“No, it’s not your fault (Y/N)…I’ll…I’ll take it with me ok?” He moved to grab a small lunch box he hadn’t used since high school and poured the rice and remaining salad in it as if it was a precious treasure or expensive feast, “I’ll eat it later, I promise.” his little smile made you smile as well as you nodded happily.
“I’ll save you some lunch so you can eat it when you’re back from practice! Have a nice day!”
“Yeah…you too…or wait…no please don't…” that made you and even Yamaguchi chuckle, he was being too cute for his own good.
His heart felt even heavier than before but there was a good thing about all this…you’d still be home when he’s back from school.
With a new found resolution he left for practice, leaving all the complicated thoughts behind, if he wanted a good fight, he would give him just that.
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Masterlist Previous Chapter Next Chapter
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x f!reader#love triangle#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi x reader#haikyuu yamaguchi#yamaguchi fluff#yamaguchi x y/n#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukkiyama#fluff#haikyu x reader#haikyuu tsukki#hq tsukki#tsukki x reader
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Oh baby, you've caught my attention!
Concept:
Tsukishima Kei is someone just blasting lo-fi music in his earphones, Yamaguchi Tadashi is someone who is talkative yet easily frightened and Y/n is just someone trying to keep a low profile.
Info:
-Tsukishima Kei x gn! Reader x Yamaguchi Tadashi
-fluff
-Y/n (reader) has social anxiety
A/n:
School literally started and i got separated from my friends 🧍
Some of the details here are canon events lol
It was the start of another year, of course you have no problem in making friends at all! (Very real) It's just that you have social anxiety and that makes it hard for you to flow along your own path– you always need your closest friends beside you, but you got separated from them and got placed into a classroom in which students knew each other, making you and three? Maybe four? Other students feel like an outsider.
Your teacher for the first lesson was absent, your substitute teacher allowed everyone to do as they please as long as no one goes out without permission.
You noticed two peculiar pairs of friends– one blonde and one green haired, the lalala and the other ok ok ok, the story teller and the other stuborn listener.
Of course it was the same friends you compared to your mind, they just seem fit any friendship tropes.
'Lucky them' you thought to yourself
Although you knew six people from the classroom, you guys were never close due these reasons;
1. Awkwardness
2. Social anxiety
3. Just no
You reached over your small bag which contained: one notebook, your pencilcase, an umbrella and a book you're recently reading.
Of course you grabbed the book!
You opened the page where you stuck a bookmark in, an special bookmark infact– your friend made it for you!
Opening the page and straightening your back at the chair, you went into your reading mode, which means shutting off anyone and anything around you.
A green haired boy noticed you in the middle of his rambling.
"Hey, Tsukki."
The blonde furrowed his eyebrows as he paused the thing that he was doing, "What's the problem, Yamaguchi?"
"Look at the other side, second row at the front"
Tsukki looks from where his friend was pointing at, "what about them? They're just reading? Tsk."
"No, something feels off" Yamaguchi scooted closer to Tsukki.
"Move away, please."
"Like they want to be noticed but are also avoiding everyone."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Like– ugh, forget it."
"No."
Yamaguchi looks at his friend, "no?"
"Tell me, idiot."
"Ah, i don't know, it's like– they won't draw attention to themselves unless needed to."
Tsukki sighs as he steals a glance from you, "probably someone who has social problems" tsukki shrugged his shoulders and adjusted his glasses "what do you wanna do about them, Yamaguchi?"
"Watch me!"
Yamaguchi stands up from his chair beside tsukki and walked gently and calmly onto your way.
At the end page of the book, you grab the bookmark and put it in the page you we're reading and closed the book.
"Hi! Is there any problem?" You say as you look up the boy who approached you
He stiffens.
"My name's Tadashi Yamaguchi, are you new here?"
You nod your head at his words, gosh his voice is so calming and gentle yet with a tone of cheerfulness
A blonde soon then followed
"Tsukishima Kei, now speak up" he says as he looks at you with a slight glare
"My name's L/N F/N" You say with a slight smile, while picking at your fingers and bouncing your leg up and down
Ah, Tsukki knew it. He knew that you have social problems.
"Do you wanna sit with us later? At lunch."
Yamaguchi looks at his friend, putting up a front to hide his bewilderment
You nod at his words, "Do you mind, Tadashi?"
Yamaguchi shakes his head, "No, no! It's fine!"
Tsukki smiles at you while he grabs his friend's hand, "we'll be over there if you need anything, good morning and thank you for the time"
You smile at him one last time before he drags his friend along with him while whispering, "I saw their body language and analyzed their voice, seems like they don't like anyone being all friendly with them unless they have the same energy or are very close with them." He looks at Yamaguchi "You guys seem to click."
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu fluff#fanfic#gn reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#haikyuu!!#hq x reader#hq fluff#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x you#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi x reader#haikyuu yamaguchi#kei tsukishima#tadashi yamaguchi#anime x reader#hq x you#hq#hq x y/n#hq x gender neutral reader#fluff#haikyu x reader#anime x gender neutral reader#anime fluff
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Three is enough
Se perguntassem para Kei o que ele estaria fazendo naquele fim de semana, ele poderia figurar um milhão de coisas diferentes. Mas definitivamente, estar aos beijos com a namorada do amigo de infância nunca sequer seria considerada uma dessas opções.
| Yamaguchi Tadashi e Tsukishima Kei x F!Reader | - | +18 | | 4.000 palavras | - | Conteúdo Sugestivo, sob o corte | - | Menores, favor não interagir |
Se perguntassem para Kei segunda feira o que ele estaria fazendo naquele fim de semana ele poderia tentar figurar um milhão de coisas diferente. Entretanto, a possibilidade de se encontrar aos beijos com a namorada do amigo de infância dele que, muito infeliz ou felizmente definitivamente tinha uma boca extremamente deliciosa não estava entre as opções.
Ele a encarou com os olhos semi-serrados através das lentes grossas dos óculos, segurando o seu maxilar com sua mão grande. Tsukishima procurava registrar bem aquele momento no fundo de sua memória, gravar aquela visão tão cativante que lhe arrancava involuntariamente um sorriso. Em respota, você soltou um resmungo lamurioso e desviou o olhar para o outro lado da sala e Kei apenas riu com um pequeno requinte de crueldade. Aquela era realmente uma visão e tanto.
Curioso, não? Definitivamente.
Mas não pensem que isso é sobre algum caso de traição de mal gosto ou qualquer coisa do gênero. Afinal, tudo acontecia ao mesmo tempo em que o próprio Yamaguchi a abraçava com o rosto enterrado no pescoço dela, mordendo e beliscando seus mamilos por baixo da blusa com uma mas mãos enquanto a outra puxava seus cabelos.
Era um programa para lá de atípico para um sábado a noite.
Foi estranhamente engraçado para Kei pensar na lembrança de Yamaguchi tagarelando feliz tempos atrás. Contando para ele que estava, finalmente, namorando com a garota mais maravilhosa de toda a faculdade! Garota que, apenas por acaso, era uma das suas colega de curso e que se sentava justo ao lado dele.
De seu ponto de vista, era bem engraçado ver a garota em questão claramente caindo de amores pelo amigo enquanto ambos fingiam ser apenas dois bons colegas de classe.
Quem diria que aquele Yamaguchi um dia foi seu tímido amigo que andava curvado fazendo piadas à sua sombra. Os anos de colegial na Karasuno tinham realmente feito muito bem a Tadashi, especialmente o ultimo como capitão do time de vôlei. Tsukishima que o diga.
E pensar que tudo aconteceu ainda no início da faculdade... Digamos que Yamaguchi havia saído da escola mais do que pronto para aproveitar a vida de universitário - aquilo quase arrancou um leve riso de Tsukishima.
Ele se recorda bem do dia que o amigo lhe apresentou para ele um dia após a aula. Definitivamente era muito mais linda do que Yamaguchi poderia um dia sonhar em descerver e os dois eram como a tampa e a panela, definitivamente aquele casal que você olha e pensa que feitos um para o outro. Tão doces que chegaram a dar uma indigestão ao loiro de paladar azedo.
Mal haviam iniciado o relacionamento e estavam falando alegremente sobre dividir o apartamento na cidade e adotar um gato. Definitivamente ambos se mereciam.
E mesmo com aquelas sendo lembranças relativamente tão distantes, ainda estavam tão claras na mente de Tsukishima quanto as de semanas atrás, que ajudavam Kei a recordar do momento quando foi convidado para estar ali, agora.
Ele tinha de admitir que foi um pouco peculiar.
Era um domingo a tarde. Tadashi e você tinham o convidado para ir em um café aos arredores do pequeno apartamento que dividiam desde que assumiram um relacionamento sério. Era um programa bastante comum, ele inclusive já havia te aceitado como uma extensão do melhor amigo, considerando que ambos sempre estavam juntos por aí. Não havia muito o que fazer... Mas sendo sincero, ele também adorava sua companhia espirituosa e comentários certeiros. Todos os encontros sempre eram muito divertidos.
A conversa fluía como sempre, bom, quase como sempre, salvo por um ou outro detalhe que Tsukishima identificava como um comportamento estranho da parte do amigo de infância.
Irritava, mas não era nada que o fizesse perder a cabeça. Enquanto ainda pudesse manter aquela pequena conversa espinhosa com você, estaria ok, poderia falar com Yamaguchi mais tarde. Contudo, estava claro que havia algo por trás daquilo, Kei apenas ainda não havia decidido se tinha interesse suficiente para tentar desvendar o que era. Talvez não quisesse mesmo saber...
Entretanto, Yamaguchi começa a passar um pouco dos limites aceitáveis e Kei não tem mais certeza se realmente consegue fingir que não se importa a ponto de não comentar sobre seus atitudes estranhas.
Afinal, havia ficado difícil focar na conversa normalmente quando seu amigo parecia o tempo todo estar tentando falar alguma coisa para ele. Apesar de não falar uma palavra, Yamaguchi chama constantemente sua atenção por estar muito tenso. Tenso passando do limite aceitável.
Pego por aquele gancho e, previamente, desconfiando que algo acontecia. Tsukishima decide parar de adiar e coloca as cartas na mesa. Perguntando diretamente ao amigo se havia algo de errado. Por sua vez, Tadashi arregalou os olhos a ponto de saltar da cadeira, ele praticante se engasgou com o seu lanche e mentiu, nervoso. Alegando estar tudo bem e falando que ele não precisava se preocupar.
Ou seja, definitivamente algo havia acontecido.
A atitude começou a mexer um pouco com o humor de Tsukishima. A última vez em que ele se lembrou de ver o amigo em um estado desses, os dois ainda estavam no meio do colegial.
Antes que Kei pudesse falar qualquer coisa minimamente maldosa e inquisidora, naquele momento, você suspirou alto e tomou as rédeas da situação. Enervada, bebeu seu café e chamou a atenção do namorado, falando alguma coisa para Tadashi em sussurros no seu ouvido.
A reação dele não foi das melhores. Kei já estava extremamente impaciente com vocês dois e aqueles malditos segredinhos apenas agravaram a situação. Por acaso estavam no jardim de infância? Ele recosta na cadeira e estala a língua, batendo levemente a xícara no pires meio mal humorado, observando.
Você se voltou para Tsukishima quando Tadashi se ajeitou melhor na mesa, melhor na medida do que era possível para ele é claro. Yamaguchi ainda estava parecendo uma alface murcha e sem graça encolhido em sua cadeira, evitando o olhar pesado do amigo a todo custo. Você por putro lado, fingia ter um auto controle e calma que claramente não possuía enquanto encarava a Kei.
Tsukishima se inclinou em direção a vocês e esperou, descansando a cabeça no punho com o cotovelo apoiado na mesa.
— Eu vou ser direta, Tsukishima-kun. Não tem outra forma de pedir isso e creio que somos os próximos suficientes para isso. — ele lhe escutou, ajustando os óculos assentiu com certa curiosidade. Tinha de ser algo grande para vocês estarem fazendo o papel de dois idiotas.
— Tadashi e eu conversamos... a questão é... — Você fez uma pequena pausa, parecendo refletir e Kei não deixou de notar seu bico fofo nos lábios e sorriu. Você segura a mão de Tadashi por baixo da mesa e então diz baixinho, constrangida:
— Nós queremos que você participe de uma foda com a gente. É isso. — suas palavras saíram tão simples enquanto você olhava bem nos olhos de Tsukishima, tão naturais como a água fluindo calmamente num rio. Foi a vez dele se engasgar com seu chá ajeitando os óculos e se encolhar na cadeira. O que, infelizmente, era uma tarefa complicada devido a sua altura.
Parando para pensar foi até meio engraçado a maneira que tudo se desenrolou até aquele ponto.
O convite foi sério, mas Tsukishima ainda não havia o digerido. Mesmo alguns dias após o acontecido, ainda parecia meio absurdo. Era um pouco entranho sair com vocês sem lembrar da proposta em aberto, a qual ele estava devendo uma resposta.
Em uma oportunidade de almoçar com Yamaguchi no intervalo das aulas enquanto você nao estava na cidade, ele termina decidindo tocar no assunto novamente. Afinal, apesar não ter respondido não significava que havia recusado.
Após o susto inicial e de ter sido pego despreparado por tal proposta, ele queria descobrir duas coisas que não entravam bem em sua cabeça: se seu amigo estava bem com aquela ideia e o que havia o levado a concordar com aquilo, já que parecia tão estranho no café dias atrás.
Além do mais, Kei também estava curioso. Supresos? Ele também é humano.
Nunca admitiria algo assim, mas logo quando seu cérebro processou as palavras que você disse no café, imediatamente Kei se colocou a imagina-la nua a sua frente. Questionando como seria seu cheiro, a sensação de sua pele na dele e a de estar envolto por seu calor.
Enquanto esperam pela comida, Tsukishima puxa o assunto com naturalidade, bom, ao menos tanto quanto é possível. Afinal, ainda é um tópico estranho para se tocar tão de repente assim. Mesmo com o melhor amigo.
— Ei… Yamaguchi… sobre aquilo. Você não se importa mesmo que eu…? — Ele começou cauteloso, após um breve silêncio e uma discussão acalorada a respeito de alguns professores bem filha da puta que tinham em comum.
— Aquilo? — Yamaguchi repetiu franzino o cenho, confuso, aproximando-se um pouco do amigo que falava um pouco mais baixo do que o normal. Era estranho ver Tsukishima parecer desconcertado com alguma coisa daquela forma.
— É, aquilo. Não finja que você não sabe o que é. — Impaciente, Kei bateu o pé, evitando olhar para o melhor amigo. Tadashi ficou encarando e só então se deu conta, afundando um pouco na cadeira e arregalando seus olhos castanhos, corando como um adolescente.
— Ah! Você tá falando daquela coisa… — Após alguns segundos envoltos por um estranho silêncio, Yamaguchi indagou, erguendo um dedo e, adivinhando sobre o que diabos Kei estava falando. Era bem complicado quando Tsukishima não tinha coragem de tocar em um assunto abertamente e fazia aquele tipo de abordagem, deixando para Yamaguchi a tarefa de adivinhar o que ele queria dizer, como se ele fosse o dono da porcaria de uma bola de cristal. Ele tinha de parar com isso, eles não eram mais crianças.
— É. você não se importa de mim e sua namorada... Você sabe o que eu quero dizer! Quer dizer... — Certo, agora Kei era quem não sabia o que falar.
Não que se importasse em falar sobre sexo com seu melhor amigo. O tópico sempre foi algo comum desde que eram adolescentes, mas dessa vez o assunto envolvia ele o próprio Tsukishima, você a namorada de Tadashi e até o próprio Tadashi. O que certamente fez aquilo ser caralhamente estranho para Kei.
Felizmente, Yamaguchi decidiu o interromper, adiantando sua resposta.
— Oh, sim. Na verdade não. — Tadachi respondeu baixo, encolhendo os ombros. Ele não podia acreditar que mesmo após confirmar com a namorada que ele mesmo conversaria com o amigo, a tarefa ainda houvesse ficado com ela.
— De verdade? — Kei ergueu uma sobrancelha, estranhando.
— Sim. — Tadashi voltou a confirmar, franzindo os lábios ao se esforçar para pensar. — Como eu posso te explicar, Tsukki... é divertido, sabe? — ele riu envergonhado, olhando para suas coisas na mesa e esperando que se amigo apenas confirmasse e então tudo ficasse por aquilo mesmo. Kei não confirmou, apenas encarou Tsukishima com uma estranha curiosidade.
Então, mesmo embaraçado, Yamaguchi se dispôs a falar em um tom discreto e envergonhado. Talvez um pouco demais, mas Tsukishima não interrompeu, também estava interessado na história.
— Sabe, uma vez aconteceu de nós estarmos bebendo com alguns amigos do curso e falando besteira, nada de mais, então surgiu esse assunto no meio dos homens... e... — Yamaguchi faz um pausa e respira fundo, ele espia os olhos do amigo sob os óculos. Tsukishima tinha aquele olhar impaciente, então Tadashi acha melhor continuar logo.
— Eu estava escutando com atenção e ela pegou no meu pé, dizendo que eu parecia muito interessado em toda aquela história de ménage. Eu tava meio bêbado e de brincadeira, eu terminei falando sem querer que parecia legal transar com duas mulheres, sabe? uma coisa bem filme pornô, mas que parece dar muito tesão e todos entramos nessa discussão. Mas eu nunca havia pensado na possibilidade de acontecer de verdade. — ele se explica colocando as mãos na frebte do corpo e desviando o olhar.
— Eu também não percebi que ela havia levado a história tão a sério... na verdade, depois eu achei até que ela iria ficar com raiva de mim ou algo assim por te dito aquilo... — Yamaguchi começou a brincar com a comida no prato, para distrair a si mesmo, enquanto repetia aquela história da melhor maneira que podia. Contando tudo para Tsukishima que permanece em silêncio.
— Então... bom... meio que aconteceu? Conversamos um pouco sobre alguns dias depois, sabe? Ela parecia muito interessada em tentar e eu queria experimentar. Nós acabamos fazendo isso com uma amiga nossa algumas vezes e, recentemente, estávamos conversando novamente…
Tadashi tomou seu tempo para digerir o que estava falando. Tinha muito apreço pelo melhor amigo, mais desde que deu início aquela conversa dias atrás sentia-se estranhamente julgado por Kei. Mesmo o conhecendo bem, não soube dizer com propriedade o que se passou em sua cabeça aquele dia.
— ...Conversamos recentemente sobre e ela me disse gostaria de fazer de novo, só que com outro homem. Eu acho que não tem problema tentar isso também... quer dizer... ela quer tentar e como é algo que ela quer, eu acho que não me custa fazer também. — ele divagou. Sentindo-se egoísta por ter aproveitado a situação quando aquilo foi algo que o favoreceu, mas ter se sentido contariado quando foi sugerido por ela trazer um homem na próxima vez, em seu ponto de vista, eles podiam bem se virar com o que já tinham em casa para fazer algo diferente. Tadashi suspirou olhando para Tsukishima, ele ainda estava um pensativo a respeito da ideia.
— Olha, quando nós estávamos dicutindo sobre alguém para convidar, achamos que você poderia se encaixar bem por ser nosso amigo a algum tempo. Ela gostou muito da ideia, mas pra falar a verdade, duvidou que você aceitasse, Tsukki e estava relutante em convidar. Eu também para falar a verdade. — Tadashi riu um pouco quando terminou.
— Mesmo? Mas... Por quê? — Kei tinha tantas perguntas agora. Um pouco desinquieto na cadeira, Tsukishima fingiu estar tomando seu suco, fez uma longa pausa e então questionou. Ele estava frustrado por não saber claramente se havia sido ela quem pedira por sua participação, mas achou que seria de muito mal gosto tentar descobrir.
— Foi algo que concordamos desde o início. Não nos sentimos tão confortáveis com um estranho, Tsukki. — Yamaguchi explicou fazendo uma careta.
— E da última vez? — Tsukishima mexeu nos óculos, agitado. Ainda via a necessidade de confirmar e saber. Pensando em como o amigo havia demorado para lhe contar sobre os novos empreendimentos.
— Como eu já falei, a garota era amiga nossa desde o primeiro semestre da faculdade.
— Entendi. — Kei assente cuidadosamente.
— O que você acha Tsukki?… quer dizer… você não precisa aceitar se não quiser… nós somos amigos faz muito tempo, mas eu sei que esse é um pedido meio esquisito…
— Eu?… bom, acho que você tem razão… – Kei dá uma longa olhada no celular, apenas para tentar fingir um certo desinteresse e não parecer tão desesperado aos olhos de Yamaguchi. Após uma pequena pausa, ele casualmente responde: — A ideia dá bastante tesão mesmo. Fico feliz por terem me convidado para o quer que isso seja. — Tsukishima também podia falar que sempre imaginou como seria comer a namorada do melhor amigo, mas achou algo impróprio e de muito mal gosto até para si mesmo, que já tinha todo um histórico com comentários terríveis e secos, todos fora de hora.
— Sério? Então você aceita? — Tadashi ainda questiona, desconfiado. Apenas para confirmar.
— Sim.
E a respeito de como tudo havia se desenrolado, você estava bem satisfeita, para dizer o mínimo. Foi um sábado a noite agitado, uma volta pelos bares com bebida o suficiente para nublar os pensamentos o bastante e, agora que estavam em casa, seu namorado havia acabado de enroscar os dedos em sua nuca e puxado seus cabelos gentimente, trazendo seu pescoço para trás e separando sua boca da do amigo dele.
— Suficiente. — ele murmurou em seu ouvido lhe fazendo ficar arrepiada. Em seguida, traçou um caminho invisível por toda a extensão de seu pescoço com vários beijos e leves mordidas, como ele bem conhecia que lhe agradava.
Você abriu seus olhos e deu de cara com o êxtase presente no rosto de Yamaguchi ao vê-la se contorcer daquela maneira. Céus, não importa quantas vezes você visse, ele era mesmo maravilhoso. Tadashi beijou sua orelha e sua bochecha com carrinho, antes de ir até sua boca com um certo desespero excitado, que é bem recebido, e colocar a língua para se enroscar na sua.
Divertindo-se com isso, Tsukishima colocou a mão em seu maxilar e trouxe de volta sua atenção para a presenca dele, ocupado em analisando seu rosto sedento e desorientado, que parecia não saber em que prestar atenção.
Tadashi mais uma vez capturou seus lábios em um beijo e você sentiu Tsukishima morder e chupar seu pescoço exposto com força. Ele fazia questão de não a deixar se esquecer por um só segundo sequer que ele estava ali.
— Mmmph! — um barulho alto e desesperado saiu da sua garganta, mas morreu dentro da boca de Yamaguchi. Se ele estava um pouco em dúvida sobre as ter se aberto para essa nova experiência mais cedo, os seus gemidos desesperados faziam com que ele tivesse certeza de que não se arrependeria daquela decisão.
O pau do seu namorado estava duro se esfregando contra seu traseiro e você podia claramente sentir o do amigo dele em um estado parecido contra sua barriga. Enquanto os dois amassavam seu corpo, literalmente fazendo um sanduíche de você no meio da sala. O sentimento de antecipação quase enlouquecer, considerando que mal tinham começado.
Ambos lhe tocavam por vários lugares, fazendo de você uma perfeita e completa bagunça, a ponto de sentir que iria literalmente pegar a fogo a qualquer segundo. Aquilo só podia ser algum tipo de céu ou inferno maravilhoso.
As mãos de um deles, a que você julga pertencer ao homem mais alto tanto pelo tamanho certamente maior quanto pela posição em que vocês estavam, segurava sua bunda firmemente e lhe trás para mais perto dele. Kei a acaricia moldando o formato por cima do tecido da saia do vestido. Ele brinca com a sua paciência, passando os dedos por cima do contorno da sua calcinha, apertando a carne e passando por sua virilha então voltando para repetir o processo.
Tadashi tem as mãos na parte de cima do seu vestido e segue amassando seus seios macios que foram expostos para fora do decote, puxando e apertando seus dois mamilos entre os dedos diligentemente, causando em você uma aflição excitante que fazia gemidos escaparem da sua boca constantemente e facilmente a enchendo de tesão.
O sutiã estava no meio da barriga e foi desabotoado cuidadosamente por Yamaguchi e jogado em um cabto da sala.
Kei foi até você mais uma vez, agora para conseguir um beijo. Ele se inclinou em sua direção, mas ainda a obrigou a ficar na pontinha dos pés para poder desesperadamente alcançá-lo.
Passando os dedos pelos cabelos loiros e avidamente tocando seu corpo por baixo das roupas, ansiosa para prová-lo, você foi surpreendida de repente. Tadashi mordeu seu ombro e, em resposta, um gemido surpreso lhe escapou de você, seguido por um ofego. Você ergueu um braço e o envolveu em volta do pescoço dele, virando a cabeça para o lado. Tadashi te olha e sorri, você sussurra o nome e dele, irritada.
É estranho como aquilo te deixa envergonhada e faz seu coração bater ainda mais rápido, você sente que o som pode ser capaz de ecoar por toda a sala e então seu namorado beija sua bochecha amorosamente para lhe tirar daquele trabse. Contudo, não há muito tempo para vocês serem um casal amoroso e fofo, Tsukishima agarra sua mão, fazendo com que você solte seu namorado e a beija novamente, segurando suas bochechas com uma das mãos, forçando entrada de sua língua dentro da sua boca. Suas atitudes são mais brutais sempre contrastando bem os o toque macio e amoroso de Tadashi.
Yamaguchi se abaixou, abraçando os seus quadris, começou a beijar sua coluna indo de baixo para cima. Mais uma vez você soltou um zunido audível e lamurioso, chamando por Tadashi, enquanto beijava o melhor amigo dele, profundamente. As mãos de Kei estavam perto do seu núcleo quente e excitado, mas sem nunca tocar e aquilo era uma merda para os seus nervos.
A procura de algum tipo de atrito, você esfregou contra Tadashi, arrancando dele ruídos gostosos a incitando a se mover com mais fervor. Entre vários beijos, você jurou escutar Kei rindo enquanto isso acontecia entre você e o seu namorado, você só não soube do que exatamente ele ria, talvez de você, ou de Tadashi. Ambos tão desesperados, enquanto ele, apesar dos ofegos ocasionais e da ereção palpável, permanecia composto.
— Vocês me convidaram, mas parecem estar muito bem sozinhos. — ele comentou em seu ouvido. Você revirou deu de ombros.
— Não seja mesquinho, Tsukishima. — Você o respondeu apos um suspiro lamurioso. Olhando em seus olhos, você encontrou uma expressão de condescendência e ignorou aquilo, revirando os olhos levemente em resposta. Tsukishima era um idiota, sempre. Um idiota grade e gostoso, mas um idiota.
Ele agarrou os seus quadris com forma e mordiscou sua orelha, sussurrando:
— Me chame de Tsukki.
Você, irritada, ignorou o que ele havia dito com sua voz doce e zombeteiro então voltou-se novamente para o namorado, girando os calcanhares para ficar totalmente de frente para Tadashi.
O homem atrás de você ergue o seu quadril para cima, fazendo-a ter de ficar em pé na ponta dos pés então acertou um tapa bastante seco na sua bunda, pegando em parte da coxa. O som alto reverberou pela sala e você se agarrou em Yamaguchi. Tsukishima tinha uma mão enorme, e aquilo doeu pra caralho, mas estranhamente fez com que o calor elétrico se acumulasse por todo seu ser.
— AHH!! Droga, Tsukki, minha bundinha. — Você choraminga com os olhos marejados e vira a cabeça, dando uma olhada feia para ele. Por sua vez, Kei tirou sarro de você e deu um pedido de desculpas bem fajuto, erguendo uma das mãos e ajeitando os óculos com ela, esfregando e apertando o lugar vermelho em que ele havia batido com a outra mão. O local estava quente e quase formigando, mas... sentir ele massagear a marca naquele estado logo em seguida foi inegavelmente muito bom e reconfortante.
Ainda abraçando Yamaguchi, com o rosto enterrado no peito dele, você mordeu o lábio e soltou um gemido reprimido. Respirando fundo, por fim beijou Tadashi novamente, sussurrando um obrigada feliz e quebrado. Deixando as mãos vagarem pelo torso de Tadashi, por baixo da camisa e em seguida a tirou nvoluntariamente ralhando o apelido de Tsukishima durante o processo. Pois ele, sem cerimônias, havia enfiado a mão por dentro de sua calcinha, surpreendendo-na com uma leve carícia.
Seus dedos compridos amassam seu clitóris e os lábios da sua boceta despretensiosamente, afundando aos poucos dentro do seu buraco excitado. O toque a desconcerta, é um estímulo simples, porém irresistível. Você tenta se mover contra a mão dele, mas para o seu maior descontentamento e apenas o seu, Tsukishima é rápido em tirar para se divertir com a sua reação. Em seguida ele volta apenas afastando sua calcinha para o lado e lentamente afundando os dedos cada vez mais dentro de você.
O braço dele se enroscou nos seus quadris firme e, em seguida, as mãos foram para o seu peito. Cada toque lhe dando um espasmo diferente, enquanto desesperadamente, você retribui aquilo para Tadashi com toques e muitos beijos bagunçados.
De costas para o homem mais alto dos dois, você fica na ponta dos pés, abraçada ao seu namorado como se a vida dependesse daquilo a procura de conseguir apoio e sussurra imundícies em seu bonito ouvido, enquanto Tsukishima se inclinava atrás de você. Seu traseiro estava empinado, querendo sentir o pau dele lhe cutucar e se esfregar lascivamente contra todo o comprimento, ansiosamente esperando pelo momento em que seria fodida. Kei ainda estava vestido, mas mesmo assim você poderia sentir que ele era maior. Aquilo seria divertido.
— Yamaguchi, sua namorada é uma vagabunda. Ela tá quase pingando no tapete. — ele riu. O comentário de Tsukishima a constrangiu o suficiente para que as proximas gerações fossem afetadas. Você fechou olhos com força, incapaz de parar sua procura por atrituto.
— Olha o jeito que ela se esfrega no meu pau, ela tá com tesão pra caralho. Porra, hein. — Tsukishima em meio a suas respiração pessada e atenção aos seus movimentos lascivos, provocou o maus amigo, zombando de você. A forma com que ele fala atinge seu interior de um jeito bastante estranho e apesar de contrariada com o que ele disse, você é incapaz de parar por um momento sequer.
Kei está tentado a lhe dar outro tapa apenas para ter o prazer de ouvir o som e poder ver outra marca da sua mão ali. Você, por sua vez, não pôde dizer nada, os dedos da outra mão dele tinham acabado de entrar em sua boca, ainda envoltos por sua própria lubrificação grudenta, mexendo com sua língua e parando apenas quando você toma a decisão de os chupar.
Ele engasga, esfregando-se contra você de volta e empurrando os dedos fundo em sua garganta, vendo até onde conseguia levar e se divertindo. Imaginando o que viria posteriormente, bastante animado para o momento em que você engoliria o pau dele daquela forma. Tadashi a abraça, segurando sua cabeça contra o peito brincando com o seu cabelo, ele assentiu em concordância ao amigo.
— Ei, meu bem, você tá mesmo gostando de ter dois caras de pau duro só pra você, não tá? — Yamaguchi ri, tentando acompanhar Tsukishima, riscando as unhas na carne das suas nádegas e arranhando. Aquele olhar que você deu a ele poderia mantê-lo ligado por dias e dias. Ele beijou o topo da sua cabeça amorosamente.
Em resposta, tudo o que você conseguiu fazer naquela situação foi alegremente assentir e suspirar, tocando o pênis ereto do seu namorado ansiosa, da forma que você sabia que ele mais gostava. Incapaz de dizer qualquer coisa graças aos dedos longos de Tsukishima começando a trabalhar de verdade em seu interior. Alternando entre esfregar o seu clitóris e os lábios de um jeito tão bom e tão meticulosos, com bastante calma enquanto Yamaguchi não deixa que você se mova. Tornando-a totalmente a mercê de qualquer coisa que o melhor amigo dele quisesse fazer, ao mesmo tempo em que seguia agarrando e apalpando firmemente suas carnes, bastante animado.
— Ele fez uma pergunta, você deveria responder, sabe? Nuna pensei que fosse mal educada assim. — Tsukishima provocou em seu ouvido, parando totalmente suas ministrações lhe arrancando um gemido frustrado, quase um choro, puxando seu cabelo. Não há resistência.
— S-sim, Tadashi ♡ — você cantarolou, erguendo a cabeça para olhar bem para Yamaguchi, admirando os traços dele. — Mmm… é muito bom. — soltando um gemido involuntário, você enterra a cabeça no peito de Tadashi quando sentiu os lábios de Kei no seu pescoço. — Eu estou a-adorando! — uma mão voltou a mexer com sua boceta estimulada.
— Adorando o que? — o rapaz sardento ergueu mais uma vez seu rosto, puxando levemente seus cabelos; até para provocar ele era gentil, Tadashi era mesmo sua morte. Tsukishima começou a beijar seu maxilar e até mordiscou sua bochecha. Você selou seus lábios com os de Yamaguchi e então beijou o convidado.
— Vocês… dois. Inferno, quero ser fodida por vocês dois juntos. — você por fim respondeu, quase indecifrávelmente, alcançado um orgasmo decepcionante de tão fraco que foi, o que lhe arrancou lágrimas e lhe fez querer mais.
— Porra, escutou isso, Yamaguchi? — Kei perguntou divertido.
— Como você desejar, meu amor. — Tadashi sorriu, as bochechas vermelhas enquanto ele provocava seu traseiro.
Essa noite seria longa, e estava apenas começando.
#haikyuu#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi x reader#x reader#imagine#pt br#pt br users
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Picture Perfect Family// SPY X FAMILY AU Haikyu!!
Read this masterpiece on AO3 at https://ift.tt/imy3jQw
by celli_ohs
This is the exact opposite of what you thought was going to happen today. You let out a heavy sigh as you struggled to carry the sleeping little boy in one arm, and two paper grocery bags filled to the brim in the other. Not even trying to hide the look of despair on your face, you walked down the street towards your new apartment. How in the world did you a spy, a master of disguise, suddenly become a parent (a single one to be exact) in less than 24 hours? Well it began yesterday evening, when he called you in.
Based on the popular manga and anime SPY X FAMILY I do not own the manga/anime, nor the rights or characters.
Words: 1693, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!, SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: F/M, Multi
Characters: Reader, Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou, Miya Osamu, Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Haiba Lev, Sugawara Koushi, Kozume Kenma, Karasuno Volleyball Club, Nekoma Volleyball Club, Fukuroudani Volleyball Club, Inarizaki Volleyball Club, Itachiyama Academy Volleyball Club, Aobajousai Volleyball Club, Loid Forger | Twilight, Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Anya Forger, Damian Desmond, Franky Franklin, Sylvia Sherwood | Handler, Yuri Briar, Fiona Frost | Nightfall, Eden Academy Characters (SPY x FAMILY)
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight & Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Damian Desmond/Anya Forger, Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight, Anya Forger & Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Damian Desmond & Anya Forger
Additional Tags: Haikyuu!! AU Week, Alternate Universe - SPY x FAMILY Fusion, Alternate Universe - Final Haikyuu Quest, Eden Academy (SPY x FAMILY)
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/imy3jQw
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ss sofftt dom yamaguchi....
*screMs* ok ok let’s go!
f! reader + fingering + mirror sex + praise
“you’re doing good.” tadashi whispers against your neck, his hand still working against your sex.
your lips curled at the praise, you lived for the way he would compliment you, telling you how good you were for him.
your eyes looked at the mirror infront the both of you, you could burn up watching how his hand was wet with your arousal, mixed with the remains of your previous orgasms. you wanted to turn away, to close your eyes bc it was almost too much but he kept his eyes on you, making sure you were looking.
yamaguchi just worked harder, he wanted to see you come undone over and over, he wanted to feel you clench down on his fingers and wet his hand with your cum. he wanted to send you into an orgasm so hard, he practically had to hold you down while you shook.
the sounds of his palm hitting your cunt weren’t lost on you, it made you feel dirty, it made you want to close your legs and look away, but if you did that, yamaguchi wouldn’t be happy.
“look at how nice you look angel.” he commented, his hand now coming to hold your jaw in place, knowing how embarrassed you were watching.
“say you look good.” he hissed, watching how your eyebrows furrowed when he took his hand out and spread his fingers open, marveling in how the wetness left strings betwen the gaps of his extended digits.
“i-i look good.” you whimpered and he smiled, kissing you tenderly.
there was a moment of peace while yamaguchi kissed on you, holding you with both arms.
it was short lived, because as soon as your breathing evened out, he had you settled back on him.
“ride me.” he whispered, voice sweet with adoration.
you nodded, turning to do as he said. but he stopped you immediately.
“were not done with the mirror, you’re going to see how good you really look when i fuck you.”
it was quite comical hearing such filthy words come from your sweet, loving boyfriend. the same man that had the cutest little freckles, the most tender hands, the deepest blushes when you gave him kisses in public, had you basically sobbing while he fucked you and made you watch.
“look how nice it is, feels good?” he asked knowing the answer while you gripped his thighs, once again watching how well you took him in.
“yes! it feels so good tadashi.” you panted.
“yeah, i know it does.” he echoed, mouth biting down on your shoulder.
he had wanted for you to see how good you looked when he was fucking you senseless. and judging by the hungry gaze you had, eyes not moving from your pussy wetting his dick, he knew he had you hooked.
#yamaguchi#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi smut#haikyuu smut#yamaguchi x you#yamaguchi x reader#yamaguchi x y/n#haikyuu x f! reader#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu yamaguchi#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#requests#smut#asks#drabbles
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A Birthday Date with The Haikyuu Boys
(if its your birthday or birthday month rn, happy birthday! ily :DD)
[ALL genders (including males) are allowed to read my fics <3)
Genre: Fluff :3
Pairing(s): Yamaguchi x gn!reader
Characters in the mini series:
Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kenma Kōzume
A/N: this is a pathetic excuse to write something like this because my birthday is soon 💀 but anyways i hope you enjoy, im not a professional and i didnt proofread it since im lazy so im sorry if there are mistakes or if theyre out of character 🤡 i do these little fics entirely for funヽ(´▽`)/!
Yamaguchi Tadashi
"Morning, love."
You yawned, rubbing his back. Eyes fluttering open slowly, with a small smile on his face responding, "Good morning, honey", as he snuggled against your side. "D'you know what day is it?" asking with a lazy smile on you face. "Of course I do, it's your birthday! I have an entire day planned for the two of us too since 3 months ago", Tadashi beamed as he got up to point at the calendar hanging on his wall above the framed photo of your first date, 2 years ago. Chuckling to yourself as you always know the olive haired boy could never forget these things since he would plan beforehand all the time.
"I dont mean to rush you, y/n darling, but we have a bus that isn't gonna wait forever."
He peeked from the doorway into your shared bedroom. "Ah sorry Yams, I just need to get my backpack and find my other shoe", you told im walking around with only one sneaker. "Its right there under you desk", he giggled softly and pointed. "You really should clean your room though, babe." Sighing, muttering "I'll do that tomorrow-" even though the both of you know you wont.
* clink * * clink *
The sound of the door-bells chiming as you arrive at the cafe, greeted by a nice waitress. You both talked about the recent episode of "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" you both watched and the schoolwork being given to each other as you weren't in the same class while waiting for your meal to arrive.
"Yams, y'know you didnt have to get me this!",
You gushed at the disneyland photo of the both of you in a lockett and the caramel crumble cheesecake he got you as a present. "But its your birthday and these weren't much anyways. I made the cake last night while you were asleep and found the lockett at a nice little trinket shop actually, so i hope you wont turn it down..", grinning nervously at you. (HDJSSJSJ HES SO GODDAMN SWEET, I STAN 😩) "Of course I won't, I love it!", pulling him into a hug as you planted kisses around his blushing freckled face. "Well, we cant miss the bus ride now can we? C'mon we have a movie and pillow fort to get to! ", cupping your face before laughing together as he dragged you by the hand under the sun setting sky through the park, cherry blossom petals gently falling around you, towards the bus stop.
THIS ONEEEE. THIS ONE HAS ME. I LOVED THIS ONE SO FUCKING MUCHHH AH MY HEART ヽ(*´□`)ノ゙ pls gimme a follow if u like what u read to support me :( ilysm whoever reads this and want you to know that youre special and loved! stay hydrated, healthy and safe 🥰
#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi x y/n#yamaguchi x reader#gender neutral reader#female reader#male reader#yamaguchi fic#yamaguchi imagine#fluff#yamaguchi fluff#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu fic#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x f!reader#haikyuu x m!reader#yamaguchi x gn!reader
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