#yang isn’t a disaster lesbian

[superiorsturgeon]

Yang: *leaning against her motorcycle wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket* Hey babe, you into bad girls? I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty hardcore! 😎

Blake: *has committed literal war crimes* Oooh…! So you’ve been a bad girl, huh? Maybe I should punish you~! 😘

Yang: *falls off motorcycle* Oh no! She’s flirting back! Panic! Panic! 😳

[pilot-boi]

How fast does Jaune figure out Yang likes Blake and Blake likes Yang? He has experience watching at least one sister be a useless lesbian before, because I refuse to believe that any arc isn't a bit useless when it comes to love. So... How does he proceed with the mess that I'd his sister and her bi disaster girlfriend?

See and that’s the thing isn’t it? How long does it take for Jaune’s personal experience with wlw sisters being useless to overpower his natural Jaune tendencies?

I believe that it’s around the dance (coincidentally around when he realizes oh fuck I actually am in love with Pyrrha Nikos) and he looks up at Yang on the balcony pining over Blake and he just thinks to himself “Looks like ALL Arcs are pretty bad at romance.”

He has trouble remembering sometimes that Yang ISNT an Arc. He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

Mostly he works off of the standard set by Terra and Saphron, that they’ll work themselves out eventually. Especially since Blake seems to have her romance stuff worked out, it’s just personal trauma that’s tripping her up

This doesn’t stop him from telling Yang all of his dad’s (and Pyrrha’s) dating advice

[averagemrfox]

2 for the ask game for each member of team RWBY!!!!!

Alright I’m home from work and have had time to think

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

First of all this goes for every single one of them and my individual answers might overlap with this we’ll see. I love how much they’ve all grown and persevered! They’ve been through so fucking much both together as a team and separately and have come out on the other side of it. They were kids!! They made bunk beds and had food fights and were starting to figure out the types of people they wanted to be and then got thrust into Remnant’s Worst Divorce™️ and throughout all of it have only grown closer as a team (not friends family!!) and still have hope that they can make the world a better place (Keep moving forward!!!) (They all need therapy tho fr)

Ruby: she’s perfect just the way she is!! This is supposed to be about the canon things I love about these character but god do I want Ruby to see herself as an individual separate from Summer. I think she’s getting there after her talk with the blacksmith. She’s just so accepting of people without hesitation. Penny is a robot? Don’t care new best friend. Little is a talking mouse? Don’t care new best friend pt 2. I’m sure there’s other examples but she’s always so ready to just let people be who they are and I wish she’d give herself that same grace

She’s also just a giant fucking nerd. About weapons about comics about video games

Weiss: 🗣️🗣️I DONT KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHO I AM. I AM THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF A HERO AND THE CHILD OF A VILLAIN. I AM A CITIZEN OF A FALLEN KINGDOM AND AN HEIR TO NOTHING. I WILL NOT BE DEFINED BY MY NAME BECAUSE I WILL BE THE ONE TO DEFINE IT. I AM WEISS SCHNEE AND I AM A HUNTRESS🗣️🗣️

Also I love that she’s canonically a fairly well known (at least in atlas) singer. Now I’m not sure she’d do that by choice based on what we saw in v4 but it’s super cool that that This Life is Mine is canon to remnant because of that. Also Jacques made her sing and she was like alright bet and then roasted him in song on stage in front of all those people and we don’t talk about that enough I think

Blake: I say that’s my baby and I’m really proud

Blake tells Sun she joined the white fang 5 years ago in v2. She was TWELVE she was a BABY!! If I had to give Blake a word the way she gives others a word it would be conviction. She never gives up on what she believes in. And she does her best to support others in doing the same, in v7 she tried to encourage ironwood and in v9 she tried to encourage Ruby poor girl got shut down both times but she tried!!

I also love how Blake is canonically a good artist and would like to see more of that. crwby show us a drawing Blake made of Yang

These:

Yang: this girl can fit so much love in her god. She goes to any and every length to protect the people she loves even if it’s to her own detriment (which someone really needs to have a conversation with her about) the Yellow Trailer tells us straight away that there’s more to her than meets the eye and yet there are people who fell into that trap anyway and criticize her character for “not being fun anymore” as if that isn’t the point!!

She’s so confident and cocky until a pretty girl Blake flirts with her I love the disaster lesbian representation.

She punched god in the tiddies!!! And she’d do it again I bet! Maybe we’ll see her punch one or both of the Brothers next I’d like that

This:

[anthurak]

Rosebird Parents Theory Masterpost

aka; Raven Branwen is Ruby’s real Daddy, aka; Ruby is actually Summer’s and Raven’s magic lesbian lovechild.

So I thought it was about time I actually compiled a proper consolidated list of the numerous discussions, explorations, ruminations and half-crazed rants I’ve done on this theory. In case anyone wants to see the full... scope of it all.

(Assembled in chronological order of original posting)

The shitpost that got me started down this rabbit hole.

“Raven the Deadbeat Dad” (first proper theory-post I ever did on the subject)

“When a Crazy Theory just keeps seeming more crazily plausible...” (holy shit I found actual EVIDENCE to this?!)

“Back on this Hot bit of Crazy...” (analyzing the ONE time Ruby and Raven have spoken on screen. Plus some musings on Cinder.)

Reading Between the Lines of just how LITTLE Yang and Ruby actually KNOW about their family (Remember how Summer, Qrow and Tai didn’t even TELL Yang that Raven was her mother until AFTER Summer ‘died’?)

A Rant about realizing that Character Designs are NOT accidental. (Holy shit, CRWBY had to have CHOSEN to make Raven look like she does...)

Why Taiyang is still Ruby’s Father (hey remember how we all agree that Summer is ALSO Yang’s mom?)

Reading Between the Lines of The Warrior in the Woods (has anyone ever thought about how much we ACTUALLY KNOW about the relationship between Summer, Raven and Tai?)

Yes, I do in fact know this all sounds crazy. (It’s not my fault is KEEPS MAKING SO MUCH SENSE!)

A funny little detail about Ruby, Summer and Raven... (Hey remember how this show is so obsessed with color-theory that just about EVERY character is named for a color in some way?)

A theory on how Raven could have knocked up Summer (AKA how it would actually be pretty fitting for Ruby to be a Rosebird magical lesbian lovechild...)

A short rambling/reaction to Summer’s official design (REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT ‘SAME THREE COLORS’?!!!)

Another brief rambling/reaction to the show giving us Summer and Raven mysteriously running off together before cutting back to Ruby.

Why Taiyang is STILL Ruby’s Father (and why it’s kind of hilariously irrelevant as an argument/point against Raven being Ruby’s secret deadbeat dad)

Why Tai and Qrow would hide Raven being Ruby’s dad (AKA, You know how adults in RWBY have a BAD HABIT of hiding really important shit from their kids?)

An In-Depth Analysis of the Interpersonal Relationships of Team STRQ (and why Rosebird is DEFINITELY a thing)

Why Rosebird Parents actually plays in a LOT of classic fantasy tropes (and how Raven has a surprising amount in common with a certain Star Wars character...)

A long overdue look at the foreshadowing potential of the Cotta-Arcs (and how Adrian could totally be the proverbial Smoking Gun for this whole theory)

A brief consideration on why Qrow wouldn’t have revealed Ruby’s true parentage (and why this reinforce Qrow as the closest thing Ruby has to a functional father figure)

What’s the point of all this? (AKA; Yes, Raven being Ruby’s real dad DOES in fact add something to the narrative)

(Supplementary Material not directly about Rosebird but related nonetheless)

Summer and the Crown (a theory on just WHY Summer went after Salem alone, and how Raven knows so much.)

The Disappearance of Raven SadEdgyBirdMom (theorizing on the REAL reason Raven left and why the reasons she’s given are probably bullshit)

Not the Bird You’re Thinking of... (analyzing the parallels between Team STRQ and Team RWBY and why Raven ISN’T her teams equivalent to Blake)

NtBYTo supplemental (Team STRQ is the ‘Disaster Team RWBY’)

Why the Vacuo arc is going to be VERY important to Ruby and Yang (or why the STRQ family reunion is going to be MESSY...)

The Ravens’ Odin (aka; how Ruby possibly/probably being an allusion to the norse god Odin can tie into all this)

An observation on the fact that only RUBY got to see the vision of Summer leaving with Raven... (hey look, a plot hook for RUBY to track down RAVEN)

Analyzing the fandom’s perception of the Summer-Raven-Tai relationship (and why we should probably be questioning just about EVERYTHING we learned about them from Yang...)

How and Why QrowTai is the REAL parallel to Bumbleby on Team STRQ (and how Rosebird parallels White Rose)

A trio of posts that I am collectively calling ‘Theories on upcoming STRQ-family epic fucked-up drama funtimes’ that a Rosebird Parents Reveal would fit PERFECTLY into:

Everything we Assume about Team STRQ (and why it’s actually EVERYTHING)

Taiyang Xiao Long: The Latest in a LONG Line of Fuckups

Ruby’s and Yang’s Family Reckoning (AKA: Team STRQ is the most dysfunctional hot fucking mess of a family in RWBY)

(Additional material to be added.)

[faunusrights]

WIP TITLES ASK GAME

Rules: Share the titles of each of your current WIPs, and, if your followers ask, share a preview of the one that sounds the most interesting. Send this on to mutuals who you are curious what they’re working on.

tagged by @texanredrose who probably dislikes me personally for this HGDFSGHJSDF. tbh i often don't title like ANYYYYY of my WIPs until i have to input them onto AO3, so uh. i am going to have to bullshit some names. also i'm gonna do tex's thing and add a little synopsis if i TRULY cannot think of a title lmao.

note: i am NOT counting WIPs that have at least one chapter posted because otherwise we will be here FOREVER AND EVER so uh yeah. this is just stuff trapped in my gdocs. also it's just RWBY for the sake of keeping it simple, stupid,

anyway uh am tagging @edarzhar (bitch) and @flawedvictori too!!! perish,

(this got long so here's a cut)

Bunfeed Bunsolved: The Valley Walk -- YES this is still happening just very slowly. this is the first cinder/velvet fic of the series and i am SO excited because it gets Weird out there. also it's mostly all about how much cinder likes hiking until she's actually doing it. inspired by the horror movie The Ritual (2017) if you MUST have context,

Ode to Stray Dogs -- it's that guard dog!Weiss/Cinder AU i posted the entire plot for a week or so ago! i love love love this AU and it WILL happen and it IS happening i'm just very slow about it sdhjfghjsgdfk anyway weiss becomes cinder's guard dog. that's the fic. also it's very kinky.

Untitled Velvet/Cinder Fic I -- it's untitled and it's a fic! this one is about, erm... a high-class restaurant/bar/whatever that also doubles as a kinky hook-up joint because you can pay for the servers to let you get freaky with them??? im SO sorry this au legit was so spur-of-the-moment but anyway velvet is there being very hot and cinder, emerald and neo are there like 👀s about it sfdhjsgdfgk

Untitled Velvet/Cinder Fic II -- HAH THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!! this one is also just a stupid dumb kinky idea but anyway it's about... um... well... it's... [makes vague gestures] i feel like if i try and explain this one people are going to be like 'really' at me BUT IT'S REALLY HOT OKAY I'M JUST!!!!!!!!!!! look if i say it has excessive cum and involves like all the girls of rwby can we just agree to leave it there,

Pâte à Choux -- velvet/every girl. they have sex. every girl. and velvet. i TRULY need to say no more,

Untitled Cinder/Neo Fic -- okay this one is good. cinder and neo gatecrash a mistrali wedding in which cinder talks to everyone to gather just enough knowledge to pretend to be a very distant relative whilst neo demolishes the buffet. they are both dressed terribly and get really drunk and whilst the groom is very suspicious of these two two nonbinary lesbians cinder gives the wife a really expensive gift and so she's like 'do not fucking kick them out MICHAEL' and it's very stupid and dumb. anyway they do this once a week,

Untitled Cinder, Mercury, Emerald, Neo, Roman Fic -- chatlog! been poking at this one for a bit... it's just the CRME + Neo groupchat and it's a disaster also it's cinder/velvet again I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW SHUT UP I KNOW

Untitled GWS!Weiss/canon!Weiss fic -- you know the one. very horny. also very sad???

The Grimmification of Ruby Rose -- here's the bitch!!! this is happening albeit very slowly. in this AU, grimm are actually infected people (THIS WAS BEFORE CANON MADE IT COOL) who turn into grimm over a period of weeks/months! ruby gets infected when she's 15 and decides to kill salem before salem can kill her. currently tinkering with the idea of making it ruby/velvet but don't quote me,

Untitled Faunus AU (aka The Academy of Menagerie) -- a modified version of my Everyone Is A Faunus AU, in which all the cast are faunus and attend the academy of menagerie, which has been invited to participate in the vytal Festival for the first time in its 25 year history. naturally, teams RWBYJNPRCFVY etc show up and wreck shop.

The Misadventures of Blake Belladonna's Silicone Dick -- THIS IS HAPPENING I SWEAR TO CHRIST it's SO funny i have to finish this eventually!!! anyway this is about a non-binary transmasc blake (aka my regular blake) who uses a packer!!! people find out and things get ridiculous. namely it somehow ends up on the roof at some point,

Untitled Snowboarding AU -- this one is one of those horny ones that isn't horny on the surface but is getting there. anyway ruby wins tickets for an all-expenses-paid trip to one of the schnee resorts up in solitas and gives them to blake and velvet who end up there in her stead. they meet weiss schnee, professional snowboarder, and it turns out that when weiss is amped on adrenaline sahe is absolutely 100% down 2 clown... so yeah it's weiss/blake/velvet fhgjsfdj

Untitled Dishonored AU Spinoff -- for Tex!!! the person who inflicted this upon me. it's a little story set in the dishonored au in which we focus on velvet--in charge of the vale rebellion--and cinder, who is a Crime Lady looking to help the rebellion out if only so she can get back to doing crimes all the damn time. its also about velvet strategically avoiding all of rubys text messages as she runs around like a clown. people die!

My Summer Car/RWBY Crossover -- this is another one i'm gonna get to EVENTUALLY. in which taiyang and summer leave for vacation in mistral and yang goes and hangs out in vale for the summer, leaving ruby in the house alone with nothing but a shitty old car for company. probably ruby/velvet. shenanigans ensue.

Sims Medieval/RWBY Crossover -- i've been working on this one FOREVERRRRRRRRRR and it Will happen. it will. ruby is the bardic hero of the kingdom of vale in service to her majesty glynda goodwitch! along with nine other heroes, ruby has to help save vale from an untimely end... but the old queen salem still lingers in the shadows, and threatens to consume all the kingdoms in her great maw. can ruby, armed with little more than a lute and her wits, help save vale? probably not but she CAN play a banging ballad,

Untitled Taffeta/Sienna/Sherveen Fic -- dicks out for milfs that is all

Untitled Ash/Ghira/Taffeta/Kali Fic -- dicks out for dilfs that is all

not as many as tex but then again if we counted all the motherfuckers still in progress................. yikes. anyway here's that. i've probably forgotten a few/ignored ones that are similar concepts to these just in their own little branches (the aufeis fic has like a BILLION snippets in my files i just count em all as the same thing sdhjgf) but whatever. anyway. pass the curse along.

[ayoalex]

No one asked but head canon that I have for some of the characters that shouldn't be a thing and I hope it never becomes canon.

Ruby:

- She's just a lamp at this point, it's good for practice tho

- Absolutely tried to adopted a Beowolf at one point in V4/V5 until Qrow made her stop.

- She can cook... Kinda she just know the basics. The only thing she knows to bake is cookies, like that's it.

- She listen to rock but her favorite band is One Direction.

- She may have cut herself way to many times while cleaning or maintaining Crescent Rose, she's still sad she didn't even got a cool scar put of it because of her aura.

- She once tried to cut her own hair in V4 and then gave up and just decided to wait till some actual decent hairdresser could do it for her.

- She doesn't know how to pronounce correctly some stuffs so she just call them "thingy"

- Tried to dyed her hair all red like Gerard Way... Yang didn't let her touch any hair products for 5y.

Weiss:

- Doesn't know how to drive a bicycle and at this point of her life she's just afraid of asking.

- "I don't cook, I don't clean"

- Later Yang taught her how to clean, so at least the dorm isn't as much of a disaster.

- "Yes I have a scar in my eye, no I'm not blind"

- The only fiction book she actually read was Sailor Moon manga and that's why she uses combat skirts.

- Her favorite character is Sailor Venus

- Ruby once showed her the anime and she just cried, cuz "goddamit there's way to many episodes Ruby".

- She fights everyone just for shit and giggles, she just enjoy the drama.

- She knows how to play the kazoo for some strange reason.

Blake:

- She will never tell anyone but she onced read an hentai by accident at the age of 12 and since then she has a phobia of tentacles.

- Is a bad influence... Specially to Ruby.

- She once skipped an entire day of classes because she was sleepy, Weiss was really mad at her.

- "Men, I wish I had the money to buy that" Proceeds to hack the system so the company sends her shit for free

- Yang has to tell her she can't just continue doing illegal shits now that's she's at school and out of the White Fang.

- Sometimes she just look directly at Weiss eyes and just break some shits to make her upset.

- "Blake, isn't your abdomen too exposed on battle?" "I want them to know I'm hotter than them Illia"

- "High boots? Check. Skinny pants? Check. Fat ass? Check. Ok I'm ready to fuck shit up"

Yang:

- She loves every type of music but she only knows how to twerk with classic music.

- Knows every word of "Bet on it".

- Used to watch Turtle Ninjas and Michelangelo is her favorite.

- The hot lesbian weeb, geek, nerd and jock everyone loves.

- For some reason she knows ton shit of History and Philosophy.

- She once made an essay about High School Musical named "Sharpay Evans was the real victim."

- She is a fanatic of car/bike video games like Need for Speed, etc

- Absolutely loves GTA and she used to play with Velvet and Blake all the time in Beacon

- She and Nora once went outside on a stormy day to see if by Nora activating her semblance she could electrocuted Yang so she could activate her own semblance... It strangely worked.

- She can't really cook but she's an amazing baker... Tho she only bakes on Ruby's birthday

- She has a whole archives of blueprint of some motors, cars, bikes, weapons, etc.

- Yang and Blake just used to go to clubs or bars to bet money on some dudes in pool and blackjack knowing damn well Blake was an expert on both.

- Yang knows different instruments, her favorite song to play is the Wii Sports song

Jaune:

- He loves romantic movies, The Notebook always makes him cry

- He learned to play guitar to impress girls to make him look like a tough guy, now he just play acoustic covers of Britney Spears discography.

- Circus is a personal favorite of him.

- He knows how to dance, used to do ballet with his sisters and once a boyfriend of one of his sisters taught him hiphop

- Has a teddy bear that he brings everywhere with him.

Nora:

- Fav food is pancakes but she absolutely loves eating pizza

- She always gives strange ideas to Yang since she knows Yang is a closet nerd and geek.

- She saw Pokemon once and since then have tried to imitate Pikachu attacks.

- Power Ranger is her shit.

- Hot girl shit

- If Ruby is a lamp, then she's a charger.

Ren:

- He did tried to dyed his hair pink but didn't like the result so decided for just a part of his hair pink.

- Everyone things he's the normal one of the group until you listen to him in a deep discussion with Weiss about Sailor Moon.

- Him and Blake casually bond once because of tea and now they just recommend each other new teas they have tried.

- He absolutely loves cartoons, Samurai Jack is one of his fav.

- The emo kid that is also a sunshine.

Oscar:

- "I cook and I clean"

- He just think Yang is cool and it doesn't matter how much Weiss tries to make him stop thinking that Ruby just tells some cool story about Yang.

- "Sir, they are my found family, can you please take me back to them?"

- Loves talking with Blake, she's always giving him books recommendations and she's one of the few that don't strictly treat him like a kid.

- He tried playing video games with Ruby... Let just say he prefers spending time with Ren now.

- Knows every word of Short King Anthem, he sings the chorus while Weiss and Nora rap the other 2 verses.

- He watch Love Island religiously and even has the game in his scroll.

Bonus:

- Sun made a GC with only Illia and Yang on it so they could talk about Blake but he forgot they don't have international communications anymore.

- Coco and Yang and Blake used to go to the same gay bar.

- Summer used to curse when playing video games with Qrow and one day Ruby heard her. Since Ruby could barely talk she didn't cared until at dinner Ruby said "Fuck" In her tiny baby voice and that's the first word Ruby said... Also Qrow was banned of playing video games with the girls in the same room because Summer blamed him.

- Phyrra was a musical fanatic that she and Yang just watched a musical every Sunday.

[heavymetalchemist]

WHAT YOUR MOST HANDSOME CULTIVATOR SAYS ABOUT YOU

Wei Wuxian - disaster bis recognize their own

Lan Wangji - you like a lady on the streets, freak in the sheets

Lan Xichen - you are a lesbian and/or you just love a himbo

Jiang Cheng - you are here for MEN GETTING PEGGED

Nie Mingjue - you are gay and/or really want to be topped

Nie Huaisang - you believe in Top Twink Rights

Jin Zixuan - I’m sorry to tell you… you may be cishet

Jin Guangyao - you can’t resist a twink and/or dimples

Xue Yang - feral men covered in blood turn you on

Song Lan - they don’t need a personality as long as they’re hot

Xiao Xingchen - if you could fuck an elf you would

Wen Chao - you’ll date a bad tipper if they give good dick

Wen Xu - you believe in lust at first sight (and probably also leaving before they wake up)

Wen Ning - your hot date is cuddling

Wen Zhuliu - begging for mercy turns you on/you just want to be choked a little

Lan Qiren - you have a punishment kink and/or are looking for a daddy

Jiang Fengmian - [Donghua] you want a daddy but like, soft - [CQL] you want someone to step on

Wen Ruohan - [Donghua] you like extensive negotiations before sex because it’s about to get WEIRD - [CQL] power and fear turn you on, personal hygiene isn’t important

Jin Zixun/Jin Guangshan/Su She - you’re a goddamn liar, get off my blog

BONUS ROUND FOR THE LADIES

Yu Ziyuan - you want to be stepped on

Jiang Yanli - all you want is to hug someone gently from behind while they chop vegetables

Wen Qing - you are a lesbian and/or you want to get pegged

MianMian (Luo Qingyang) - at the end of the day, you’re just looking for a healthy relationship

Jinzhu/Yinzhu - begging for mercy turns you on, especially if you’re begging a woman

Qin Su - pretty girls turn you into a complete disaster

Wang Lingjiao - you are not afraid to stick your dick in crazy/your ideal girl boobs boobily everywhere

Lan Yi - you want to be dommed gently

Baoshan Sanren - you like mysterious women who demand total loyalty or gfto

Juniors and A-Qing are canonically babies so they’re not on here byeeeeeeee

[sprinkledonion-blog]

Another real long “I don’t like Bumbleby” post (Part 1)

So this one was a long time coming. I kept postponing it, polishing it, making it look the nicest I could, but it’s finally here. And it’s quite long. Let’s just, uh, start.

The first thing I wanna say is, I watched RWBY without interacting with the FNDM, just at the start of this year. I didn’t know what Bumbleby was, nor its impact in the overall FNDM. I was blissfully unaware of what was going on, so I dived in with a clean, open mind.

First impressions and development (or the lack thereof)

I didn’t think about Bumbleby. For those who know me, I ship characters VERY easily and I don’t really care if it’s a gay, het, lesbian ship, I can and I WILL ship them. I shipped Ruby and Penny like crazy. Ruby and Emerald made my heart jump. Jaune and Ren looked insanely cute together, and Sun and Weiss had very nice potential. And in V2, in the Burning the Candle episode, when Yang had a heartfelt conversation with Blake, and hugged her, I was like “oh?”. It was the first time I had seen Yang this vulnerable, and while I really ignored her through the first volume, this scene made me realize she was more than it meets the eye. And she chose to be vulnerable… with Blake. Oh?

Then Blacksun happened. Oh.

I didn’t like Blacksun. I still don’t like it. It’s predictable and boring for my tastes. But it has a privilege Bumbleby doesn’t: development. 

I will never understand this choice. Barb said it was planned from the beginning. The question is, then: why didn’t y’all spend time developing Bumbleby? Bees will tell me it was developed, but I’ll suggest y’all to take off your rose-colored glasses and revise those interactions. I totally understand the warm, fuzzy feeling when your ship talk, even look at each other (my ships are 99% rareships so I take what I can get), but deep down you know reality isn’t like that. I’ve seen the 40-minute essay about Bumbleby; yes, you can attribute to every interaction a romantic feeling, but I can do the exact same with Jaune and Ren, and fans will roll their eyes at me and tell me it isn’t like that. The only remotely romantic interaction was the whole Burning the Candle episode. It was a nice episode. 

“But Onion”, y’all will say, “are you going to ignore V3 onwards? The plot completely ties Blake and Yang together”. Same as Blake and Sun. Yes, Yang lost an arm for Blake, and yes, she feels betrayed and everything, but… why should I think it’s romantic? Blacksun is being developed at the same time, following common romance tropes that apply to the rest of canon ships, so why should I think it’s any different? Yang could have lost an arm for Weiss and I have no doubt she’d have felt the same. (I also think Weiss would have called her and checked on her every day, until Yang even heard her in dreams.) 

That brings me to my second point. Let’s trust Barb, it was planned from the beginning. Then what was Blacksun supposed to be? “It makes the point that romantic relationships don’t always work and sometimes it’s better to stay as friends.” Valid point, but… Blake? Sun? Why did you keep at it? Blake, why did you kiss him on the cheek? That’s misleading, for the audience I mean (Sun already knows the script). When I friendzoned guys, and when the girls I know friendzoned guys, absolutely none of them kissed the dude on the cheek. The most they did was give a pat on the back or shoulder. Let me know if it’s an American thing to kiss guys you friendzone, because maybe it’s the cultural barrier that keeps me from understanding “yes, they’re friends and nothing more!”. 

And yes, I know Sun told Neptune it was never about that. What was it about then, Sun? Were you trying to get Weiss’ attention by making her jealous? Were you trying to get Blake to paid for the food? I don’t buy that Sun explicitly flirted with her just to be friends. Else I’m an alien and it’s my second day on Earth, or Sun tried to convince himself to feel less pain. Or who knows? Maybe he really was flirting with her to be friends. Maybe he flirted with Neptune too. Writers, give us proper answers. And no, FNDM, filling in the story holes with “show don’t tell, there’s a logical explanation for it” is still fanon and doesn’t count as canon. Show don’t tell is a rule, not an excuse.

Anyways, after the whole coming and going, Sun finally leaves the scene for Bumbleby to thrive on sudden romantic interactions, which are a little late at most. It’s confusing. Yang never felt jealous when Blake showed attraction to Sun. They didn’t choose to clearly spend time together, at least with the “we’re partners” excuse. I’ll delve into this point later, but for now: we had Blacksun, suddenly we have Bumbleby, and we’re supposed to have been cheering for them the whole time. Uhm, was this supposed to be a plot twist? 

Okay, I may be biased on this one, but listen to me. I don’t like this kind of plot twist. Oh, we have a heterosexual couple… OR SO YOU THOUGHT! THE TRUTH IS THAT THE LESBIANS ARE CANON! WE’VE TRICKED YOU, WHAT MADMEN WE ARE!

Get it? My problem isn’t that Blacksun isn’t canon. My problem is that the writers are using a wlw relationship as a tool, a surprise, manipulating and tricking the audience. It doesn’t feel genuine--it feels like they just wanted to cause controversy--or sell. At the end of the day, Bumbleby is way more popular than Blacksun, and a big part of the FNDM came for the bees. Don’t y’all ever wonder why voice actors don’t talk as much about other characters, or Ruby herself? The main main character? 

Let’s bee honest: at this point in time, the biggest thing keeping RWBY afloat is Bumbleby.

“And what’s the problem with all that?”, bees may ask. “What’s wrong with feeding us some good bees?” Ship whatever you want, y’all. But I don’t like getting ships shoved down my throat and treated as peak LGBT+ representation when it didn’t get the time and treatment it deserved. Not all that glitters is gold, guys. (Especially Yang.)

Racism

Oh boy.

Racism is quite the great deal in Remnant… at least that’s what the show tells us. It doesn’t show it. No, Velvet doesn’t need to get stones thrown at her to show us discrimination. But, you know… if there was discrimination, I don’t think she would be in Beacon in the first place. Or that Leonardo would be the headmaster of Haven… Adam Taurus, pack your things and go home; there’s no faunus discrimination worth the fight. (Wait! Don’t go yet, you still have work to do.)

What does racism has to do with Bumbleby?, you may ask. Well, it’s Blake’s main plot. I think it has a lot to do with Bumbleby… but uh, it seems I was wrong. Yang isn’t interested in it, so I guess it’s just Blake’s problem. Until uh, Adam makes a scene, but that doesn’t have much to do with the fact he’s a faunus. It’s still pretty distasteful of a human to kill a faunus, but I’ll tackle that point a bit later.

Blake’s faunity? is very important to her. If she’s an important person to Yang, why doesn’t Yang show interest in it? She didn’t even defend Velvet, even though she could have punched Cardin in the face. She sits around sighing “It must be hard to be a faunus” and annoys Blake with a lighter. This only shows me Yang doesn’t care about Blake’s identity, and not in a good way. 

I know, I know, I take the faunus issue to heart. It must be because I’m a person of color. I could talk hours and hours about the horrendous execution of faunus racism (reinforcing stereotypes, horrible analogies and really unfortunate implications), but I’ll limit myself to Blake for now.

Yang doesn’t care. She’s not one bit interested in reading faunus’ history, in asking Blake about her experiences, in thinking how she could help as a human. She’s like those people who say “I’m blind to race” as if it were a good thing. Yeah, you don’t discriminate, but you dismiss other people’s culture and background. It’s part of who we are. Some of us will take it better, some of us worse, but acknowledging Blake’s identity in this case could do wonders. That way Yang could show interest in her as a person, her motives to fight, her struggle. 

But she didn’t. In fact, she did quite the contrary.

Bonus: I’ve recently seen a… hysterical headcanon. As it turns out, some bees were excited at the idea of Blake getting branded and Yang going berserk, later saving all the faunus in the mine. It was supposedly justified by “faunus needed a reason to respect her” and of course, Bumbleby angst. Do I need to point out the White Savior trope and how blatantly racist and harmful it is? Do I really need to? Considering faunus are supposed to represent the civil rights movement? Especially knowing Adam’s previous treatment? If faunus were explicitly Black, this would be… well, this is a disaster, but it gets swept under the rug. As a woman of color, this headcanon just makes me want to cry.

I think I’ll have to divide it into two parts so it doesn’t get too heavy. Part 2 is here. 

[remedyhunger]

Why Yang x Jirou and Kaminari x Nora. Why would these parings work?

Hmm

Why Yang x Kyouka (Jam Session)

Well they are great for each other imo. Plus Punk Bi Disaster with Nerdy Jock Lesbian Disaster.

Kyouka is a really loyal person tbh and the way she helps her friends by giving them ideas and encouraging them during fights. Is a good trait for someone like Yang who may be confident in her skills but lacks the creativity in the beginning volumes. (Usually following Ruby’s orders)

Kyouka is harsh but she’s still truthful. She also listens to people. That is something Yang needs in a partner. Someone who can challenge her but still listens to her point of view.

She would also stay beside her and that’s a big one. I see her in this AU as one of the main people who’d help Yang recover after Adam, Blake and the raid.

Kyouka needs someone to push her to do things out of her comfort zone, but not like Denki who literally shoves her to do things. Yang is the kind of person who coax someone out of their comfort zone especially after the raid. She learned to wait and be patient with people. Though if someone is stubborn enough she will push when necessary.

Yang also makes Kyouka laugh at her lame jokes and puns. That prone to be sarcastic and towards Jaune a lot of the times.

They also play music together whenever they can in the dorms and swap bands they both enjoy. Yang plays both the electric and acoustic guitar in this au. and write her own songs which Kyouka likes to listen too.

Kaminari x Nora (Akihabara Electric Town)

Man these two are literally made for each other. The Human Charger and The Human Recharger.

Nora is not always a pixie dream girl. She is actually very level headed at times more so than Ren when he’s under pressure. She would keep Denki from making reckless decisions and actually help him with things he doesn’t get. (Like girls). She would be calm during hero training and observant of his short comings.

She’d be a good match for Denki and would never be a bitch towards him. Nora is brutally honest but she isn’t mean. She is straightforward and never call Denki an idiot. Because he really isn’t.

Denki for Nora would be not just someone that helps her with her quirk, but someone that gets her and her one track nature. They are both chaotic together and love to look at memes together. He’s also more emotional and shows her comfort where Ren sometimes isn’t able too.

He used to be pervy but stopped the moment he met her and learned how immune to boys the redhead is. Nora even hugs him to recharge with his shirt off or when she’s in a bra. Living with Ren had made her comfortable with the opposite sex. Which is so foreign to Denki, but he learns to respect girls because of it.

I can think oh so many things about both these parings but idk if people are that interested in all my headcanons lol.

But this is just a snipit of why I really like these parings.

[bow-woahh]

Heal me after hurting! Any commentary!! Pleaseeee!

“Director’s commentary” on HMAH:

To start, this was meant to be a short-ish sick fic with some hurt/comfort vibes but nothing too angsty. However my some sort of demon took over my body and decided that it was going to be an in depth look at their broken relationship and Catra’s mental health (being a Catra-centric fic), showing her at some of her lowest points (intentionally mirroring the canon in some ways) and the internal conflict she faces on a daily bases, as she tries to maintain the healthy habits and take on the advice she’s gained from therapy. And of course I also highlight Adora’s perspective and how she felt at the time of their breakup and after it, but we pretty much only find out in tandem Catra, so every chapter another piece of their breakup and how that affected them is uncovered. (Rest of the post under the cut because I’m extra and have much to say)

As one can clearly tell, if I am not stopped I will literally not stop talking about this fic, so I’m gonna choose out one of my favourite moments and give a bit of context on that. This part is from chapter one, and usually when I refer to it I call it ‘The Feet Scene’:

It’s thirty two minutes in when Adora’s foot finally brushes against Catra’s, and it’s light and could have easily been an accident, but it doesn’t feel that way. It feels wholeheartedly intentional, like it’s meant to have an effect. Initially, Catra’s breath hitches, and her foot instinctively moves back, Adora’s foot being ice cold and Catra’s being warm from the heat of her blanket (it has always been like that, hot and cold, yin and yang, polar opposites balancing each other out). Then, exhaling, eyes still on the tv screen, she blindly moves her foot closer, as she tries to find Adora’s again. Clearly, it isn’t ignored, and it’s hard to with all the low level rustling it causes amongst the otherwise silence and voices of Élio and Oliver. This time, her foot just barely taps Adora’s, and she has to fight the urge to recoil from the near icy temperature. She taps the front of her foot, eyes still forward, biting the inside of her cheek, time ticking by slowly as she waits for Adora to accept the absurd invitation. To think this is the first real contact they’ve had in months is—

Adora’s foot moves closer to Catra’s, accepting her touch, and she nudges it a couple of times, as if trying to make a point. Catra looks over to see her wearing a grin on her face, and she’s positive it’s not because of the movie. In retaliation, she presses into her foot a little more, with more pressure, being more bold and when she glances over, she can see Adora’s smile has faltered, which makes it hard not to smirk in triumph. Not backing down from the challenge though, Adora tries once more to get a reaction out of her, rubbing back and forth on her heel a couple of times, and it’s impossible to ignore, so Catra turns to face her, eyebrows raised in a rendering question. It’s only once Adora turns to look at Catra too that both grins are washed away and replaced with—

While Heal Me After Hurting was in no way comedic or funny or intended to be…I do remember reading this and just laughing at how ludicrous this was; how I actually wrote (And kept it in) my fic; and how I felt like this is something that Catra and Adora as #1 disaster lesbians would totally do. So, although there’s an element of absurdity which Catra does point out, this whole interaction was meant to be a baby step, a piece of hope, in the mess of a first chapter where Catra is mostly extremely volatile, not to mention how this moment acts as a starking juxtaposition to events covered later on in the chapter. Yeah, there was a lot going on. 

Most importantly however, I think it highlights Catra breaking her walls down a bit, despite everything and how she currently feels pretty ambivalent towards Adora. Adora extended her hand (or her foot) and Catra reached for it, as a way to say ‘I do still care and I do see you’. It’s kind of reminiscent of the innocence of holding hands with your crush in the back of a movie theatre for the first time, and the thrill and giddiness you feel with it. Only, they run into another wall when they finally acknowledge what they’re doing with more that two brain cells and they both share this look, which is initially Catra being like “what the fuck are we doing?” But then, Adora looks at her and they both share this realisation of: “Oh my god…what are we doing? We haven’t talked about anything and now we’re doing this.” Then the overthinking kicks in, and in a way they both feel like they’ve crossed a boundary, Adora more so, causing her to be more reserved which then worries Catra immensely as she instantly thinks she did something wrong, when in reality, they’re both hot messes. 

Thankfully, Adora doesn’t reel in completely, and the sudden dip in the somewhat friendly atmosphere isn’t destroyed, and from that interaction, Catra not only lets her defences down slightly, but also learns (even if she doesn’t immediately realise it) that Adora really is trying to amend things, and that there is still hope there, which causes her to soften up a bit.

Oh, and the high-key competitiveness is not to be ignored, as it wouldn’t be Catra and Adora without them being weirdly competitive over everything they do. I imagine in the early days of their relationship and when they were younger that they would be oddly competitive about things — like their first kiss definitely happened as a result of one of them teasing the other. Because of the fact their teasing was often so non platonic, that was also another thing which definitely contributed to the “oh fuck” moment.

Last thing I want to mention before I end this hell of a rant was the inspiration for this, which is fairly obvious, as Catra literally compares their moment to a scene in Call Me By Your Name, and coincidentally they’re watching it! The moment in the movie is much more subtle and sudden, Oliver touching Élio’s foot under the table at a dinner; in the book however, there is much more detail and you read it play out, and specifically Elio’s reaction to it, which very much mirrors Catra in this situation, and I just thought that was pretty neat. So I decided it could work here, obviously with a shift in dynamics and lot more tension of course, and I’d like to think it worked well!

Okay, I had so much fun writing that (too much), thank you for the ask! If anyone else wants to send me an ask similar to this, feel free to, and here’s a link to the post if you’re baffled on what this ask even was: director’s commentary ask

Also if you’re reading this post (you deserve a medal) and is completely confused to what fic I’m talking about, here’s the link to it: Heal me after hurting 

(:

[lucytara]

Yang flings her arm around Blake's shoulder and leans in and flirts and Blake flirts back and Yang is just SPEECHLESS and a flustered mess cause heck Blake knows what she's doing

y'all subscribe to the idea that yang is a disaster lesbian and i DISAGREE! come on look at all the flirting they BOTH did in v6….“good to see you’re not rusty”….“stealth isn’t exactly your um…i mean you’re great and i’ll hurry back!” followed by yang’s gay ass look and “go”….they BOTH know how to flirt without getting flustered and they love doing it and that’s that on that!

[cornerverse]

What’s this? Who are these adorable children? Y’all should’ve seen this coming since I like Next Gens. That, and both Seren and Yang have appeared in fics now, so i decided to do a full post on them. 

So we have some kids for the EdWin/EdLing polyship, and a couple AlMei kids. 

Edit: Added some more character info. 

Let’s start with the Ed Sandwich (EdLing/Edwin Polyship)! My favorite and most consistent polyship tbh. While Yang is the only one that’s biologically Ling’s, all the kids are considered his just as much. To differentiated between Paternal figures, Ed is called ‘Dad’ while Ling is ‘Papa’.  

So, some explanation on Yang before doing bios. I’ll go into more detail if asked, but Yang was made by Alchemically combining Ed and Ling’s genetics into a surrogate mother(Winry). Yang and Aydan are also ‘twins’, since they didn’t know that Winry was a few weeks pregnant with Aydan when they made Yang.

Seren

Born 1920

“”Quiet”” one of the group. Tends to try and puzzle things out and rarely asks for help.

He’s the one who sets the toaster on fire. Claims he was just trying to make toast, but possibly was trying to dismantle it to see how it functions.

As an adult, he’s the one who ends up in the family Automail shop.

Panromantic Asexual (Sex positive I guess? Like, if he had a partner he would enjoy sleeping with them.)

Aydan

Born 1921

The leader of the group, tends to figure things out on her own but will ask questions if she can’t.

Once (Accidentally) tripped Mustang into landing face-first in birthday cake(Ed hugs her for that.). Mustang wants to be mad but the kids are too cute for him to even try(he is so soft with them it’s ridiculous)

Honestly, she’s probably the one kid that ends up in the military. Ed is Very Upset™ about that, but she’s an adult and he can’t stop her. He absolutely does threaten Mustang with a ‘if you send her somewhere and get her killed I will murder you’. Mustang’s like ‘that’s fair’, and does try to protect her. But, well, Aydan is related to Ed so just try and stop her. That said, Amestris is in an era of peace for the moment, so she does get a break.

Bisexual

Yang

Born 1921

She’s the kid who speaks without thinking, and always asks questions. Curious af.

Yang inherited Ling’s climbing habits. Which is bad for the kids’ babysitter, Elicia. During hide and seek one night Yang climbed on top of the fridge where Elicia couldn’t see her, and nearly gave the poor kid a breakdown because she couldn’t find her.

The artist of the family. Ends up as a painter/writer. Loves historic cultures/myths and legends. She absolutely writes and publishes a book about the whole fuckery of what happened in Xerxes and all of the Promised Day shit. Like, what really went down instead of what the official reports say. But she passes it off as ‘fiction’. (Everyone else is simultaneously proud and pissed off)

Bi/Pan(I am undecided)

AlMei kids! - Not much to say here since it’s just two parents and both kids were made the old fashioned way. But anyway!

Auriana

Born 1921

She has two moods, “naptime” and “Gotta go fast!”. Has a talent for wandering off (and giving her parents a heart attack when they realize she’s gone).

Never thinks things through, just kinda goes for it. Everyone’s kind of surprised because Al and Mei are the ‘responsible’ ones of the family, but that’s only because most people forget that these two can be just as much of a chaotic disaster as the rest of the family(I mean, Al was co-conspirator in most of Ed’s shenanigans, and Mei accidentally befriended a serial killer so…). Auriana just happened to inherit that.

That said, she might be a little bit of a disaster, but the one place she’s fantastic is in the kitchen.

Lesbian

Sylvian

Born 1922

Very quiet. Not that she’s shy or anything, she just doesn’t speak nearly as much as everyone else. Don’t let that fool you. She’s just as much a force for chaos as the rest of the family. 

The closest thing to being ‘the responsible one’. She does tend to thinks things though, and can remain calm under pressure and overall diplomatic.

Honestly, I’ll go into it in the next paragraph, but probably the one of the Next Gen to end up ruling Xing?

Bi/Pan(I am undecided)

So, on that note, the whole thing with Xing and the ‘heir to the throne’ stuff. 

Like, Ling did become Emperor. And he gets rid of the old system of the fifty wives thing. But there’s the question of ‘who inherits the throne after him’?

Out of Ling’s kids I’d say Aydan, because she has good Leadership qualities and could do it. However, they all kind of know that the people of Xing would not accept her as Empress. As much as all of the family considers Aydan to be Ling’s daughter, people outside of the family don’t always see it that way. Especially when it comes to this, as she’s not biologically Ling’s. Hell, she’s not even Xingese.

Yang is biologically Ling’s(though some people question it due to Ed and Ling both being male and they don’t always explain how she was made…), but Yang is not suited for the role and does not want to do it.

However, before the kids were even born, Ling decided that if he gets killed then Mei can have the throne. Therefore, her kids are also eligible. As mentioned, Auriana isn’t the best fit due to her not being a ‘think things through’ person. Sylvian, however, is.

Obviously they let her decide for herself if she wants that, but still.

Other notes on family things:

Any characters who are close to Ed and Al get called ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ by the kids. Some adore it, some pretend to hate it but it’s obvious they adore it, and one had a minor breakdown of happiness the first time. 

Due to… certain character relationships… it is debated over whether Mustang should be called ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’. Mustang’s response was basically “fuck you no way in hell am I being called ‘grandpa’ before I’m at least 50! I’ll settle for 45 if I have to but holy shit not yet!”.

When they’re younger, the kids don’t realize how weird their family is, and they say weird things that confuse newcomers. 

Sometimes it’s relatively normal. For example, Seren, Aydan, and Yang refer to Ed as ‘Dad’ and Ling as ‘Papa’. They don’t realize that new people wouldn’t know about their family situation, so they don’t clarify that ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa’ are two different people.

Sometimes it’s more ridiculous and ‘unexplainable’ things, like saying ‘Grandpa used to be Immortal!’

I know some people do the thing of ‘naming the kids after dead characters’, but... well, firstly this happens in the EHSA AU so some of those characters aren’t dead. Secondly, I don’t like the ‘naming a kid after a dead person’ thing because it feels less like ‘honoring the memory’ and more like ‘I can’t let go and I’m gonna take this out on the kid’(Even if it’s well-intentioned and supposed to be honoring the memory). So I just grabbed other names! Though they are themed... but you know how it goes with me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also! Heights! I don’t have exact heights in numbers but I can give how tall they are in relation to other characters and eachother. 

Yang is tall! Not only tallest of the group but also in general because she’s taller than 2/3 of her parents.

Seren is pretty average height for a male character (About the same height as Ed)

Aydan and Auriana are average height for female characters(About the same height as Winry). However, Aydan seems taller because of the shoes she wears. The boots of the military uniform are thick and heeled enough to add some height, and she usually wears heels when out of uniform. 

Sylvian is tiny like her mom. 

That’s all for now! But feel free to ask questions of course~!

[valentinewheeler]

2018 Book Recap!

If you follow me on twitter you saw this already, but here’s my favorites I read this year.

They weren’t all 2018 releases, but they’re what hit my kindle/bookshelf and stood out! In reverse order, basically, of when I read them. Check out the list below - it’s a little eclectic.

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Works of Fred Rogers (Maxwell King) - My toddler is ALL ABOUT Mr. Rogers. Turns out he was just as wonderful in life as he was on TV. If you’ve got a small person in your life who loves him (or you were one), I recommend this deep dive into his life and legacy.

Blackfish City (Sam J. Miller) - This sat on my kindle for months before I opened it, but once I passed the first few chapters and got into the world, I blew through 90% in a day. Beautifully woven storytelling, deep worldbuilding. Infrastructure, plague, and culture clash: three things that win me instantly. PLUS a nonbinary POV character!!

A Conspiracy of Truths (Alex Rowland) - I hate unreliable narrators, and yet, here I am, in love with this book. I finished the audiobook (which is BEAUTIFULLY narrated!!) and actually yelled out loud when there wasn’t any more. WHAT A WORLD. Economics, legal drama, and grumpy characters: three more things I can’t resist in a novel.

A Duke by Default/A Princess in Theory (Alyssa Cole) - I hadn’t read much romance until this year, and I don’t know why because turns out I love it. Or at least, I love Alyssa Cole’s work. Both of these had great heroines and super fun supporting casts. I loved both of them equally. I want the next one immediately.

Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - Everyone said I’d love this. EVERYONE WAS RIGHT. Magic! Bikes! Social class based on a false meritocracy! MURDER! MAGIC-SCIENCE BLEND! REALLY FREAKY PAYOFF! Read it. You’re missing out if you don’t.

Spinning Silver (Naomi Novik) - Now, I’ve loved Naomi Novik’s work for about fifteen years. I knew I’d like this one. What I didn’t expect was to have to lie down for a few hours to contemplate it after reading it in one go. I love a main character who ISN’T traditionally sympathetic but you love anyway. Beautifully woven folklore and feeling.

Legend (and sequels) (Marie Lu) - I love YA dystopias with all my heart. This was such a great one. I loved the characters, I loved the setting, I loved seeing the broader world than is usually seen in a post-apocalyptic setting (how DO other governments handle the end of the old way??) Just a delightful read.

Fuzzy Nation (John Scalzi) - I tried to minimize my white men on my reading list this year, but Scalzi is always an exception. I LOVE the original work, and this is a beautiful update. But then, legal battles in space will always win me over. Love it just as much as HBP’s, which is a pretty high bar to cross.

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns (Julie C Dao) - This took me a while to get through, because it was so, I don’t know, filled with impending doom? This little book had such a dark, blood-soaked voice, and I love a fairytale retelling that DOESN’T go how you expect. Absolutely worth reading. Lush setting, high body count.

The Poet X (Elizabeth Acevedo) - If I had known this was all in verse, I wouldn’t have picked it up. So I’m really glad I didn’t know that. If that turns you off, listen to the audiobook. A phenomenal performance. What an immersive experience this book was. It’s stuck with me for months after reading.

The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (Meg Elison) - I love post-apocalyptic stories. This was a brutal one. Explores how different communities deal in the face of disaster, and not for the weak of stomach. But one of my favorite PA books of the year for sure. Bought the sequel and finished both in one day.

An Extraordinary Union/A Hope Divided (Alyssa Cole) - The other set of her books I devoured this year. The first slavery-era US romance I’ve read that didn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth. The way she builds her characters and their bonds is just SO #goals.

Orientalism (Edward Said) - I’ve been meaning to read this for a while, and I finally made it through this year. A little dated, maybe, but a dense brick of really interesting thinking and history. A classic for a reason!! The audiobook is GREAT.

Americanah (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) - I love a character who is lying to herself! And I love a book where the backstory is meted out in drips and dabs. A dive into communities I know very little about, some of which are right around the corner from me. Ifemelu is a completely solid character, one that feels ABSOLUTELY real.

Trail of Lightning (Rebecca Roanhorse) - If you’ve read her short fiction, you know she’s a master. This lived up to it. Post-apocalyptic Navajo monsterhunters? Exactly as awesome as promised. The mythology and worldbuilding are perfection.

The Calculating Stars/The Fated Sky (Mary Robinette Kowal) - THESE BOOKS! I love alternate history, I love space, I love characters who confront prejudice within themselves and without! Every character makes SENSE, even when they’re awful! All the science feels absolutely real! I WANT TO GO TO SPACE

The Book of M (Peng Shepherd) - My goodness, I read a lot of post apocalyptic novels this year? This one has one of my personal fears - memory loss that can’t be stopped. Another great blend of science and maybe-magic and spirituality (?) and how humans cope with weird, horrifying, tragic things.

Alexander Hamilton (Ron Chernow) - I figured before seeing Hamilton I needed to read the book, and I’m really glad I did. Super engaging, with just the right blend of anecdote and data. After reading this I definitely annoyed my mother and my spouse during the whole musical by whispering trivia at them.

War Against All Puerto Ricans (Nelson Denis) - I’m ashamed to say I knew very little about the history of Puerto Rico. After reading this book, that really pisses me off. The US really did PR wrong, and continues to do so. A vital read for anyone interested in US history.

Cinder/Scarlet/Winter/Cress (Marissa Meyer) - Apparently people have been into these for years and I’m just hitting them now. Fun YA, a genre I’ve missed (I like all this hard-hitting, serious YA, but sometimes over the top silly is absolutely necessary!). Spouse and I enjoyed pointing out all the absurd fairy tale tropes.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel) - !!! I’m ALL ABOUT books that weave together multiple stories that you KNOW how to intersect somehow but you don’t know HOW IT WILL HAPPEN! Post apocalyptic, weaving stories over fifteen years, all connecting to the life of one guy as the apocalypse hits. GREAT.

All God’s Children Need Travelling Shoes (Maya Angelou) - Yes, I’m well past missing the boat here. But I’m catching up. My goodness, she’s a beautiful writer. And the period covered in the book is spellbinding and brutal and painful and gorgeous.

Cooking is Terrible (Misha Fletcher) - Okay, do you have like twelve minutes and four dollars to cook dinner every night? THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. Easy recipes in non-threatening form, with going off-script absolutely encouraged. I read this start to finish and have been referring back FREQUENTLY as I cook.

Front Desk (Kelly Yang) - THE MIDDLE GRADE BOOK I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED. Oh, this was wonderful. I want to give this to every ten year old I know (which is actually none?). Mysteries! Racism! Badass middle schoolers! Intra-community problems! Three-dimensional characters! YES!

Edge of Nowhere (Felicia Davin) - SPACE ROMANCE! Teleportation! Cafe-owning lesbians! Sweet big stoic guy/small angry disaster guy romance (my FAVORITE KIND)! SPACE SPORTS! Space HEIST!!!! Alternate dimensions! YES.

Everything I Never Told You (Celeste Ng) - This one hurt. What real, beautiful, flawed, horrible characters. All their choices made sense in context, all their pain felt real, and I didn’t want to leave them when the book ended. Content warnings for child death. The 1970s have never felt so close.

Little Fires Everywhere (Celeste Ng) - I usually hate books that start at the end, but this one earned it. Disaster rich people are kind of my jam, especially when they have consequences. And again the characters were the stars. I felt like I knew everyone, and I loved them even when they were awful.

Into the Drowning Deep (Mira Grant) - I’m never going in the ocean again. Mermaids have been ruined forever. Terrifying. Great characters, some of whom die horribly. Scary scary unending horrorshow. But oh, what a way to go. Gory fun filled with great representation.

Uprooted (Naomi Novik) - I was so delighted by Spinning Silver I almost forgot that I loved this one NEARLY as much! Scary forest, plenty of fantasy/fairytale tropes turned on their heads. Disaster love interest. Competent, frustrated main character. A+.

The Beauty that Remains - There were a lot of dead friends books this year, and this was my favorite in the not-police-related category of those. Strangers whose lives weave together around the deaths of three people close to them all, and the band that brought them all closer. Gorgeous.

An Indigenous People’s History of the US (Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz) - Another one that’s absolutely vital in filling gaps in the history I’ve learned of this country. Engaging writing and strong voice. Didn’t give me any warm patriotic fuzzies, that is for sure.

Company Town (Madeline Ashby) - Floating future town! Unions! Murder! Loved it.

The Underground Railroad (Colson Whitehead) - I know the boat on this was a couple years ago, but what a chilling, brutal, beautiful book. The slight speculative element was just the perfect touch to give it a flavor of myth, if that makes sense. Steel yourself before reading.

River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - HIPPOS! IN THE MISSISSIPPI! This was a DELIGHT from start to finish. Leverage on HIPPOS in the Wild West?! YES PLEASE.

The Wanderers (Meg Howrey) - Astronauts on a simulated mission to Mars basically all break down, as does everyone around them. I adored this book. I loved the thousand POVs because each one was its own distinct voice. I loved the different ways everybody fell apart!

Infomocracy (Malka Older) - WORLDBUILDING!!!!!! Future elections, future political system, future tech, all brilliantly built. I need to read the sequels, but I haven’t managed to work up the brainpower I know they deserve!!! READ THIS if you like scifi political minutiae (I DO)

The Poppy War (RF Kuang) - The first half is Tamora Pierce, the second half is George RR Martin, but better. This was nothing like what I expected. Absolutely staggeringly, brutally beautiful. What a bold novel. Will buy anything else she ever writes sight unseen.

Warcross (Marie Lu) - This is what I wanted Ready Player One to be. Virtual reality gaming with real life consequences. References and fantastic characters. The sequel is just as good.

Zeroboxer (Fonda Lee) - BOXING IN SPACE! Secret science!! MYSTERIES!! All things I love.

Dread Nation (Justina Ireland) - GREAT. Zombies during the Civil War. A heroine who takes no shit and instead takes zombie heads off. COMBAT SCHOOLS. SUPER GREAT.

An Ember in the Ashes (Sabaa Tahir) - I didn’t expect to love this the way I did, but I devoured it, and the two sequels, each in about a day. This felt like all the best parts of old-school fantasy novels, the thick kind you shoved in your backpack in seventh grade, but BETTER. And I love a good Evil Roman!

Space Opera (Catherynne Valente) - Queen meets Hitchhiker’s Guide! This was a JOURNEY from start to finish, a glorious, absurd, delightful meditation on fame and Eurovision and what it means to be worthwhile and human and a person. YES.

The Broken Earth (NK Jemisin) - More like the BROKEN ME after reading these. Periapocalyptic fiction, absolutely 100% deserving every award and more. Content warning for very small child death brutally described, and more horrors. NK Jemisin goes HARD.

American Islamophobia (Khaled A Beydoun) - Could not put this down. I learned an astonishing amount, especially about the historical place of Islam, Muslims, and Islamophobia in the US. A hard read, but worth the work.

All the Birds in the Sky (Charlie Jane Anders) - Okay, I have to admit it, I have no idea what was going on in this book. But that didn’t stop me from loving it!! Witches and technology and animals and weird apocalyptic nonsense! DELIGHTFUL

Anger is a Gift (Mark Oshiro) - Another YA book that pulled no punches. What a phenomenal look into the way kids and communities of color move through the world, and how the world moves against them.

History is All You Left Me (Adam Silvera) - SO MANY DEAD FRIEND BOOKS THIS YEAR. A great use of the start at the middle, work both directions format, it covers both the time before the death of the MC’s ex and the fallout. I wept through most of it.

White Tears (Hari Kunzru) - Horror, and the villain is essentially appropriation. Very satisfying! The author’s love of music comes through. A nerdy, scary, millennial read.

Love, Hate and Other Filters (Samira Ahmed) - Loved this. Melded teen interpersonal drama, family expectations vs. dreams, and confronting the world and the way they see you all at once, woven together in a beautiful way.

A People’s History of the US (Howard Zinn) - Obviously this is great. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by his son. Sobbed through the child labor chapters. Cheered at the union chapters. Loved it.

Thornfruit/Nightvine/Shadebloom (Felicia Davin) - I LOVE WORLDBUILDING. This is a fantasy on a world that doesn’t turn, so night and day are DIRECTIONS, not times. SO COOL. And I adore the main character. Small Angry/Large Shy is the BEST ROMANCE TROPE. The magic and language is beautifully developed.

Tempests and Slaughter (Tamora Pierce) - Look. I’ll read a gonorrhea brochure if Tamora Pierce writes it. So you knew this would be on the list. But it earned its spot! I love Numair in the Daine series, and he’s a tiny ball of feelings in this. I need more.

Unfamiliar Fishes (Sara Vowell) - I’ve always been interested in Hawaiian history, and though this was a little light and memoir-y for my taste, it contained a shocking amount of information that went down easy in her light, friendly style. Absolutely worth the couple hours it’ll take you.

The Only Harmless Great Thing (Brooke Bolander) - Elephants! Memory! What it means to have value! What we owe other beings! Radium! Sharp and dark and deeper than it has any right to be.

[electronicyarn]

Live Blogging RWBY Vol. 6 – Ch. 12: Seeing Red

Read From the First Post

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Caroline. You done goofed. No, I’m not blaming Ruby for this!

I have a theory. Yes, Yes, I know. I’ve had lots of theories, and truth be told this one is mostly tongue in cheek. I think that the Atlas military sends its most incompetent soldiers and officers to Argus to keep them out of the way. Because, dang guys, you all are really bad at this. And Caroline? Rule number one about being a military officer in a foreign kingdom you’re allied with: don’t try to murder children! Granted, Ruby isn’t a citizen of Mistral, but still! Imagine the PR disaster!

Knowing that there was going to be thirteen chapters to this volume, and that the villains on deck were most likely going to be defeated in this episode, I was curious what the big finale was going to be. Boy did that question get answered! Grimm! Grimm for days! Everyone’s exhausted with their auras depleted too. Jaune! You’re up! Aura recharges for everyone! Actually, that’s exactly what I think is going to happen. Jaune, fueled by his guilt over Pyrrha, is going to push himself dangerously hard to get everyone back on their feet.

So then. How about that Adam fight? Oh. Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my yes. Mmm, yes. I’m still buzzing. (Bee pun not intended but fully accepted.) What can I even say about it? Yang and Blake acting in unison? Wonderful. The quick visual foreshadowing of Yang taking a hit to charge her semblance right at the end? Perfect. Yang ultimately using her prosthetic arm to defeat Adam? That’s exactly how I would’ve done it. No seriously. It’s exactly how I did it.

I think this marks the first time that anyone on Team RWBY, or any of the protagonists, has deliberately killed someone. (Although I guess Maria did kill Tock in her flashback.) I’d say it’s justified, and not just because this is Adam we’re talking about. In most real-world jurisdictions if attacked with deadly force you’re allowed to defend yourself in kind. I was wondering before I sat down to watch this episode how they, meaning the writers, were going to dispose of Adam. A Disney Villain Death (like Torchwick got) just didn’t seem like it’d be very satisfying. Although I guess Adam did fall off a cliff anyway. Just with, you know, a pair of gaping chest wounds in him.

Now then. Let’s have a talk about subtext. As a huge fan of that 90s classic, Xena: Warrior Princess, I’m an expert on the subject of that elusive yet prevalent beast known as homoromantic subtext. This episode. It has it. A lot of it. And it’s not even that subtle. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it immensely. Adam’s “What does she even see in you?” line was particularly delightful. But this is 2019. Kids’ cartoons have open and canonically gay characters. Overwatch, a massively successful AAA game has a lesbian on the front of the box. RWBY itself has Ilia, Saphron, and Terra. Subtext isn’t going to cut it anymore. There’s the possibility of the next episode, yes, but that’s what I’m afraid of. That it will always be “maybe next episode”.

Well, I sure didn’t intend to end this post on a down note. And you know what? I’m not going to. This episode and the last are the culmination of one of the primary reasons I’ve been watching RWBY for the past three years. Normally when you’re forced to wait for something for that long your expectations grow and grow until it becomes impossible that they’ll ever be satisfied. But this. This is exactly what I wanted from a final confrontation with Adam. I could watch this on a loop for hours and hours. Just see if I don’t! Until next time!

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[biofunmy]

Against Nihilism

Kate Ferro for BuzzFeed News

After a big breakup earlier this year — I was the one who ended things — I gave myself a lot of room to grieve in whatever ways felt good at the time. Ordering takeout for both lunch and dinner? Sure. Downing IPAs while watching women’s soccer at 10 in the morning? No problem. Draining my savings on weird funky clothing and yet another pair of clogs? You bet!!!

According to the tenets of modern pop feminism, I’m entitled to a certain amount of overindulgence because, as a hardworking woman, I’ve earned it. Everything from institutional sexism to harassment to heartbreak can supposedly be assuaged by a couple bottles of wine with a group of good girlfriends. The treacly “Treat yo self” mantra popularized on Parks and Recreation has enabled many a stressed-out woman to place that $800 Anthropologie order (you can always return most of it, right?). Life is hard and the world is on fire; maybe we deserve to indulge in some good old simple pleasures.

So what if wine is a carcinogen and the alcohol industry has actively worked to downplay the link between drinking and cancer? So what if fast fashion is built on exploitative labor and contributes to mass global pollution? So what if the concept of self-care — popularized by Audre Lorde, a black lesbian activist battling breast cancer — has been co-opted to sell us things we don’t need, things which indirectly harm others and might actually harm us in the end? We’ve earned it, ladies!

I’d like to think I don’t actively buy into the capitalist vision of self-care, even as I’ve thrown my money into its maw; at least, I don’t assume any sort of entitlement to feeling good via the accumulation of material things. More so, I just thought…fuck it.

A few months ago, drunk in the middle of the day, I impulse-bought a Juul at a bodega in downtown Manhattan. I’d been taking hits off my friends’ vapes for months, only after I’d had enough to drink that smoking became pleasurable instead of disgusting. That was the rule I’d used for myself previously with cigarettes: I could never buy my own, but if I was drunk, I could bum one or two or five. Actually owning a Juul, as much as I liked to think the vapor or whatever made them safer than my beloved Marlboro Lights, was definitely breaking the rules. But I’d reached a point where I no longer cared.

While other people were having their hot girl summers, I spent mine flirting with a sense of doom I haven’t experienced since I was a hope-starved teen. (Nihilism: It’s back in style, just like denim miniskirts!). And I’m not alone. Twitter offers a daily glut of jokes about the apocalypse; things have gotten so bad we’re begging for vaping or an asteroid or alien overlords to finally put us out of our misery. The novelist Jonathan Franzen published a (much-maligned) essay this past weekend about climate change, arguing that the oncoming disaster is impossible to mitigate and “we” can no longer pretend otherwise. (“Every day, instead of thinking about breakfast,” he wrote, we all “have to think about death.”) Reading recently about presidential candidate Andrew Yang’s dystopian vision of the future, I found myself dismayed, and thoroughly dragged, by Max Read’s description of a “doomer,” the archetypal internet memer who believes we’re all totally fucked: “a depressed, purposeless 20-something usually depicted smoking a cigarette and wearing a beanie.”

Okay, I’m not a doomer, but I have become somewhat fatalistic lately. With talk of another recession and the continued possibility of dying in a mass shooting or some sort of natural disaster, the scarcity mindset I’d developed as the child of a parent living paycheck to paycheck kicked back in again. Thanks to a few greedy corporations and crisis-denying national governments, climate catastrophe seems inevitable — no matter what personal choices I make about things like food or travel or children.

So why bother saving for the future if there isn’t even going to be a future? Why bother being kind to my body by taking it easy on the beer and potato skins when all the crap I consume might not catch up with me by the time that not-future comes to pass? No matter how I treated myself — and no matter what infinitesimal steps I took to be a better human citizen — we’d all end up in the same place in the end.

For a while during my “fuck it” summer, it felt great to be a mess, if only because of its implicit rejection of corporatized self-care’s evil twin: self-optimization. Since diets have become passé, we’ve entered a new era defined by “wellness,” but women are still expected to meet Eurocentric and patriarchal beauty standards — only, unlike with dieting, we’re now supposed to feel good about attempting to contort ourselves into socially acceptable bodies.

Fuck other people’s narrow ideas about the only right ways to live a good and happy life.

“Wellness” conjures images of Gwyneth Paltrow peddling hundreds of dollars’ worth of Goop vitamins and oils and crystals and juices to customers who, because they are not wealthy celebrities, will never look like Gwyneth Paltrow. Organic vegetables and private Pilates instructors are the provinces of rich people who have the time and money to optimize their bodies as if it’s their job (because it is). Fuck wellness! I thought, ordering chips and queso for the third time in a week. Fuck other people’s narrow ideas about the only right ways to live a good and happy life.

But was my life really better, or happier? I loved taking shots with my sister at my favorite dive bar, bonding in a way we sometimes struggle to when sober. But I hated that by the time we got home I was sobbing on the couch about our fraught relationship with our mother, some deep dark part of me ripped open and exposed to the unforgiving light. I loved the dopamine rush of confirming yet another online shopping order, but I hated having to return half the crap once it piled up in my bedroom. I hated hangovers, mountains of takeout containers, and the point at which my Juul would stop giving me a stream of little highs and instead just start making me sick.

Amazon Studios / Courtesy Everett Collection

Jillian Bell in Brittany Runs a Marathon.

Last weekend, I took myself on a date to the movies. I saw Brittany Runs a Marathon, which is the exact kind of movie I’ve been seeking out lately: funny, uplifting, and you know going in exactly what you’re getting. Keep your twist endings, Quentin Tarantino! I’ll watch the movie where the ending is literally spoiled by the film title.

Paul Downs Colaizzo’s indie movie, which won the Audience Award in the US Drama category at Sundance, stars Jillian Bell as the titular Brittany, a goofy twentysomething in a major life rut. A doctor tells her she has an unhealthy BMI (proven to be a bogus measure of a person’s health) and that she needs to lose 50 pounds. This leads Brittany — and Bell herself — to attempt to shed the weight of a “small Siberian husky” over the next year, at the end of which Brittany plans to run the New York City Marathon.

A movie about a woman trying to find fulfillment through weight loss sounds pretty out of step with our current cultural moment, when fat acceptance and body positivity have been gaining significant ground. Kate Browne in Runner’s World argues that the movie functions as “fitspo” by conveying to viewers that if you lose weight, you, too, can achieve your dreams. “The story we’re too often told about fatness and running,” she wrote, “is that body size is an obstacle to overcome in our quest for glory.” Madison Malone Kircher, in a piece for Vulture, made similar points: “In Brittany Runs a Marathon, being fat is portrayed as a starting point instead of just a state of being.”

I, too, would have preferred a movie in which Brittany ran a marathon after gaining back all the weight she initially lost while training — proving to herself, and to viewers, that she could do remarkable things at any size. Still, I think the film does complicate more straightforward and more explicitly anti-fat weight loss narratives in popular culture by making clear that personal fulfillment and a small waist aren’t inextricably intertwined.

Soon before she’s set to run her first marathon (spoilers ahead), Brittany pushes herself too hard in her attempt to lose her final 10 pounds; she deprives herself of food and ends up in the hospital with a stress fracture. She has to miss the race. While recovering, she’s much thinner but more miserable than ever. In the film’s cringiest scene, Brittany gets drunk and heckles a fat woman at her brother-in-law’s birthday party, refusing to believe that the woman’s “average” size partner could actually love and desire a fat person. At other moments, she makes jealous assumptions about a (thin) neighbor she doesn’t actually know; she begrudges a married friend his happy domesticity with his husband and children. The film suggests that Brittany’s main problem has never been her weight — it’s that she’s convinced all her woes have nothing to do with her own actions and that other people, in turn, don’t deserve their happiness.

Amazon Studios / Courtesy Everett Collection

Patch Darragh and Jillian Bell in Brittany Runs a Marathon.

At the end of the movie, when Brittany signs up for the marathon again the next year and actually makes it to the race — cheered on by friends she’d previously spurned — I cried. I cried because it was, yes, inspirational, but I was also moved by the way the story managed to explore personal autonomy and desire in a self-improvement narrative without discounting the significant role played by larger systemic forces.

No, Brittany shouldn’t have to lose weight to be treated with respect — but the material reality of her life is that, when she’s thinner, she’s actually “treated like a woman,” as she tells her soon-to-be boyfriend: People smile at her; they hold the door for her on the subway. No, it isn’t fair that the fancy gym she tries to join when she first decides to lose weight is cost prohibitive to so many people — but that doesn’t discount the fact that running, and other ways of moving one’s body, are completely free.

I cried because I’ve long resented all the pressure I feel to work out and eat “well” and drink less and sleep more. So much of that pressure comes from a world hellbent on optimizing our bodies and brains for workplace efficiency, for social acceptance, for conventional beauty standards, for “normalcy.” It’s pressure designed to make us believe the world will become less of a hellscape through mere personal effort, rather than structural change.

But what if we don’t make those choices (just) to make ourselves more palatable to the world around us? Yes, living “well” — if we’re financially and physically able — benefits The Man. That doesn’t change the fact that treating our bodies with respect and care might benefit us too.

When I first thought about quitting drinking, about a month ago, I read Sarah Hepola’s 2015 recovery memoir, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget. I sobbed through the last 50 pages. (Yes, I’ve been crying a lot lately.) She talks about how, even after she got sober, she still wasn’t taking care of herself: lots of takeout, not a lot of making the bed or hanging up her laundry.

I told myself this was OK, because our society was beyond warped in its expectations of women, who were tsunamied by messages of self-improvement, from teeth whiteners to self-tanners … I wanted to kick the whole world in the nuts and live the rest of my years in sweatpants that smelled vaguely like salami, because who really cares?

But then, after a while, Hepola realized: She cared. She realized she didn’t need to make her body and home feel and look better to please men, or because it was what she was “supposed” to do. “I should take care of myself because it made me happy,” she wrote.

After finishing the book, I wondered if, angry at the propagandist sham of American individualism and bootstraps meritocracy, I’d course-corrected a little too hard — giving up on trying to improve myself or the world around me.

Eddy Chen / HBO

Zendaya as Rue on Euphoria.

My nihilism was both political and personal. Politically, I’d become Chidi, the philosophy scholar on The Good Place, who ends up in Hell because of his ethical indecision. At one point, after grasping so desperately for moral purity and failing to find it, he gives up. “The world is empty,” he yells. “There is no point to anything. And you’re just gonna die. So do whatever!” Personally, I saw myself as Euphoria’s Rue (minus the hard drug-taking), who returns to her life of debauchery after getting clean in rehab because she doesn’t see the point in trying to get better. “The world’s coming to an end,” she says in the first episode, “and I haven’t even finished high school yet.”

It’s a lot easier to believe that you can’t do much to improve your moods, your relationships, and the way your body feels while simultaneously believing you can’t do much to improve those things for other people, either. Abdicating that sense of any responsibility let me avoid a deeper, darker worry: that prioritizing the self is, by nature, saying to hell with everyone else.

My obsession with that particular quandary led me to Trisha Low’s new book-length essay, Socialist Realism, in which she attempts to reconcile her desire for the comforts of love and home with her desire for a socialist utopia. Is it even possible to pursue personal happiness and fulfillment while prioritizing The Greater Good at the same time?

“Home,” she writes. “It’s just something to contain our misplaced desires for a better world. How can we willingly long for that?” Her work is built upon that of her teacher, the academic José Esteban Muñoz, who famously theorized that queerness is, by its very nature, not-yet-here — “that thing that lets us feel that this world is not enough.”

In Megan Milks’s review of Socialist Realism for Bookforum, she notes that a decade ago “many queers were enamored with the alluring radicality of queer negativity” — think Lee Edelman’s 2004 polemic No Future, about the queer death drive — but “in the Trump era such grandiose nihilism seems puerile.”

I loved Low’s book for its messiness, its sense of struggle — a perfect depiction of the constant tugging I feel within myself every day, between my desire to deal with the realities of my own life and my desire to think on bigger, more ambitious scales. “Whatever,” Low eventually concludes. “You can make utopia out of almost anything.”

Since last month, I’ve stopped consuming alcohol (for now, though maybe also for longer). I threw away my Juul, then got jealous that I didn’t get rid of it more dramatically when I saw somebody smash theirs with a hammer on Instagram. Even King Princess, the Gen Z queen of Juuls, recently quit — a harbinger of change if I’ve ever seen one.

I’m trying to whittle away at my nihilism (both the personal and the political) in other small ways. I signed up for a trial at a rental clothing company, with the hopes that I’ll spend less money on shopping and contribute less waste. I’ve stopped eating beef, hopefully en route to full-fledged vegetarianism. And I joined a powerlifting gym after my friend Katie, who is basically a lifting influencer, extolled its many virtues. I’m hoping the sport’s focus on strength and power, rather than weight loss, will help me stop punishing my body for the way it looks and start celebrating it for what it can do.

I’ve had these little bursts of self-improvement projects before, but in the past I’ve always gotten bored and given up eventually. I’d start drinking again. I’d order a bunch of crap I didn’t need from companies that mistreat their workers and actively make the world worse. Whatever, who cares, nothing matters.

Just last week I caved and ordered six different white T-shirts and a $200 pair of boots. (“Basics!” I told myself. “Just the basics!”) I know I’m still going to have nights where I eat only popcorn for dinner and watch six straight episodes of Love Island and bum hits from my friends’ Juuls. I think what’s most important is that I’m at least trying to train myself to rely on more than just instant gratification. To have faith that, if I’m lucky, there’s a lot more life I’ve yet to live.

Critics of Franzen’s New Yorker piece on the climate apocalypse pointed out that the author’s climate projections are seriously flawed and his conclusions perhaps even more so. After taking swipes at everyone, from the evil science-deniers on the right to the overly optimistic peddlers of the Green New Deal on the left, Franzen sees hopeful futures for community gardens and CSA programs, but not much else.

“If your hope for the future depends on a wildly optimistic scenario,” he wrote, “what will you do ten years from now, when the scenario becomes unworkable even in theory? Give up on the planet entirely?”

What a patronizing way to address anyone who dares to dream. Teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg hasn’t documented her climate depression or dared adults to consider the impact of their personal choices just to piss off a bunch of man-baby conservatives. As a young person, she’s more than justified in fearing for her future, but despite her anger and her sadness — because of her anger and her sadness — she still believes in something better. Why bother even trying otherwise?

Yes, living “well” — if we’re financially and physically able — benefits The Man. That doesn’t change the fact that treating our bodies with respect and care might benefit us too.

Corrupt corporations and governments do hold the most blame, and the most significant obligations, when it comes to righting our course. But there is no easier way to shirk consumer responsibility — whether you’re eating beef, or flying a lot, or holding onto that unholy Amazon Prime subscription — than by self-soothing with the leftist adage that “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism.”

As Charlotte Shane recently wrote in a piece about Jonathan Safran Foer’s We Are the Weather (yet another collection of Big Climate Thoughts by yet another underqualified white guy), holding institutions accountable “can’t be a ploy to deflect attention from our own culpability … No matter how otherwise constrained our circumstances, we can always choose each other, choose solidarity, choose effort. Every time we do, we’re making headway toward a new habit, a self-reinforcing orientation that alters the fabric of who we are and how we live.”

Is there anything in this world harder than trying to be both happy and good?

I’ve been listening to Lana Del Rey’s Norman Fucking Rockwell on repeat since the album dropped, which has put me in the perfect mood for my sad girl fall. But as much as Lana sings her beautiful, dreamy way through the depressing fog that is modern living, she still ends the album on somewhat of a high note. “Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have,” she croons on the very last song. “But I have it.”

May we all, Lana. May we all. ●

Sahred From Source link Science

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