#yeah I don’t think I like this series lmfao

[lesbiansanemi]

When will I learn that I don’t actually like bnha that much

[thegreatestheaver]

Is it a hot take to say re7 is the scariest resident evil game …

[avis-writeshq]

05 — enchanted

summary: “please don’t be in love with someone else”/“please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”  pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, slow burn, no use of (Y/N) warnings: alcohol (reader gets drunk lmfao), jealousy, slight miscommunication, austin (aka: bartender girl from s4), special mention to special people wc: 4.9k a/n: everyone say thank you @astrophileous for beta-reading MWAH ilyvm zara <33 SPARKS FLY MASTERLIST // MAIN MASTERLIST

Although you haven’t been a part of the BAU for more than one year, it didn’t stop you from maintaining the connections that you had in all your years of working there. Sure, the scheduling times could be better, but that didn’t stop the team from spending their rare day off to spend time with you. After all, the adjustment of seeing you every day to once in a blue moon was a difficult one to make. 

O’Keefe’s has been the main victim of the team’s shenanigans, its doors open for the seven members of law enforcement, all eager to get their hands on some well earned rest and relaxation. Drinks are passed around the booth and you can’t help but laugh as you watch Derek get his ‘groove thang on’ with a few girls in the bar. Today is one of the rare occasions when the team didn’t have a case, an even rarer day when the team didn’t have to take on any new or incoming cases. 

“How’s life treating you?” Emily asks cheerfully, sipping at her strawberry daiquiri. You gather that tonight is one of those nights.

You smile, sipping at your own beverage of choice. “Good! Way less stressful than working at the BAU, that’s for sure. And the hours are good, too.”

JJ snorts from beside you. “Yeah, well, can’t say I’m not jealous. How’re the kids?”

“I can’t say much because of confidentiality and all that, but they’re doing well. A lot better, thank goodness but it just goes to show the aftermath of the things that you guys deal with. I mean, I still think about all the victims we’ve helped and it sucks that we can’t do anything to help them further.” You finish your tangent with a long sip of your drink before leaning back against the booth. “Anyway, how are you guys?”

Penelope comes shuffling past carrying a series of cocktails, her absolutely monstrous platform heels not aiding her in her slightly tipsy task. “Do not even get me started on work. No work! None! We’re having a fun day. Ergo, no work talk.”

You laugh in response, moving to the side to allow her room to sit in the booth. “No, Penny, you’re right. No work talk.”

The drinks are dispersed and your gaze shifts to where Spencer is standing, laughing awkwardly as he tries to follow along to Derek’s dancing and socialising. He looks incredibly out of place in his brown argyle sweater vest, navy tie and freshly pressed slacks, and he pulls at the collar of his shirt. 

“Nah, Spencer could definitely be a ladies’ man if he plays his cards right. And I mean that literally,” Emily says, bringing you out of your daydream.

Your head snaps in her direction, trying to calm your facial features and microexpressions. Regardless of your attempts, after a year of not practising, you don’t do as well as you hope. “What?”

JJ grins at you, her eyes lighting up knowingly. “We’re just talking about who’s the biggest hotshot in the BAU.”

“Wouldn’t that be David?” You ask meekly, your finger swirling along the edge of your glass. You had met David Rossi on occasion, once by accident when you were having a night out with the girls and the other during a proper introduction two weeks later. “Didn’t he have, like, five wives?”

“I had three thank you very much,” Rossi intervenes swiftly, holding his glass of whisky on ice. 

“Sorry, my bad,” you respond jokingly, snickering as he shakes his head and stalks over to where Hotch is sitting and drinking his rum. 

Penelope lets out a loud laugh. “I think we’re forgetting the obvious: our very own Chocolate Thunder.”

“Well, fine,” Emily drawls, waving a hand dismissively, “but Spencer has that innocent vibe to him, y’know? The kind of guy women go crazy over.”

JJ clicks her fingers in remembrance. “Didn’t a bunch of prostitutes try to pick him up in that one case?”

“What?” You ask again, albeit a little shrilly as you try to dismiss the surprise in your tone. 

“He didn’t take them,” Emily says quickly in an attempt to ease your discomfort. “But he did pick up a girl a few months ago. Austin?”

Penelope nods at that, putting down her cup. “Oooh, yes! I remember her. He showed me a picture. She’s pretty.”

“I mean, he did pick up Lila too.” JJ reminds the team, shooting you a sly smile. “You remember her, don’t you?”

You force out a laugh and bite the inside of your cheek in the process. “Yeah. Who’s Austin?”

“I think I still have a picture!” Penelope says, brandishing her phone from her coat pocket. She types something in before sliding it in your direction. “Pretty, right?”

Austin is certainly pretty, even in the uncoordinated selfie Penelope shows you of her and Spencer. He’s slightly out of frame, his lips set into a sweet smile while Austin practically glows. Her brilliant green eyes flash in the camera and her dark hair frames her face perfectly. She and Spencer are close in the photo, with him holding the phone clumsily and she has a hand on his arm. 

“Uh huh,” you murmur distractedly, averting your gaze from the photo as an ugly feeling creeps into your chest. “Really pretty.”

Emily looks at you curiously. “You didn’t know about her?”

You shrug in response, the smile on your face insincere. “There are a lot of things I don’t know about Spencer.”

The group exchange a couple glances at your tell-tale body language, watching as you scoot past Penelope and out of the booth, making your way to the bar. You’re all too grateful for a reprieve from the teasing as you order another drink and take a seat, resting your chin on the palm of your hand. Your mind goes through all the interactions you’ve had with Spencer over the years. Were you really that foolish to think that he would feel that way for you? Maybe you were reading too much into it, you try to reason, running your fingers through your once styled hair. Maybe, in some stupid and twisted way, all of Spencer’s interactions were platonic.

You scoff inwardly to yourself. Right. Because picking someone up at two o’clock in the morning is entirely platonic. Sleeping in the same bed as someone because of nightmares is totally normal between friends. In any case, you could have sworn that he–

“Trouble in paradise?” 

An unfamiliar voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin, and you turn to the man who takes a seat beside you. “Uh… something like that.”

The man hums, a smile on his handsome features. His dark brown hair is fluffy and, in its own charming little way, suits him. He reminds you a lot of Spencer, with the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles along with the timbre of his voice. He’s also very different to Spencer, especially with his sweater that has a bright orange pumpkin on it, paired with a matching orange scarf. A pair of red tinted sunglasses hang on the neckline of his sweater, and you doubt that it would do much good to block the sun.

“I’m Matthias,” he says good naturedly, beaming. “I’m with my sister, Laura,” he explains, gesturing to a lady sporting dyed auburn coloured hair, and she waves with a matching smile.

You introduce yourself, pointing to the booth. “My friends are over there.”

Matthias nods, undeterred by your company on the other side of the bar. “Let me buy you a drink.”

*** 

After what felt like hours of dancing (it was really only fifteen minutes), Spencer and Derek make their way to rejoin the group. The feeling of sweat matting his skin is one of many reasons as to why Spencer hates dancing. That, and the fact that there were far too many people on the dancefloor. What’s worse is the fact that he’s sure that none of them have ever heard of the word ‘deodorant’. He cringes at the thought of all the germs that could be festering on his skin as he sits at the booth, his eyes shifting to wear your bag lays haphazardly on the red cushions. 

“Where is she?” He asks instantly, turning to Emily and placing your bag so that it’s in a safer and less hazardous position.

She hums, pointing in the bar’s direction. “Getting a drink. She’s just cooling off.”

“Cooling off?” Spencer echoes, his brows furrowing. “What do you mean she’s ‘cooling off’?”

Penelope offers an apologetic smile, fiddling with the buttons on her coat. “We… might have told her about Austin?”

“You what?” Spencer can barely believe his ears as he looks at the group incredulously. “Why would you do that?”

“We didn’t mean anything bad by it,” JJ says hastily. “We didn’t think she’d react like that.”

“React like what?” Spencer’s voice is strangely stern, his eyes narrowing as he turns to the rest of the team. “I don’t like Austin. She’s nice but I don’t like her.”

Derek’s brows lift in surprise and confusion. “Did you go out with her after the case?”

Spencer’s ears burn in embarrassment and he turns to his friend in offence. “I asked her for help. I don’t like Austin like that. I needed advice.”

“Advice,” Emily repeats, turning in the direction of the bar. “You mean about…?”

Spencer doesn’t stay long enough to head the rest of Emily’s sentence or to answer it, making his way over to you are. Part of him wishes that he stayed put, especially when he sees what you’re doing. In an instant, his nose is scrunched up in distaste as he spies the random stranger chatting you up. His eyes lock with yours and he relishes in the way they light up as you wave him over.

“Hi,” he breathes, standing beside you. 

“Hi!” You gush, beaming at him. “Saw you on the dancefloor.”

“You’ll never see it again,” he says honestly, stealing a sip of your drink. It tastes like vodka and the strawberry lipgloss you use (he only know what it tastes like because of its very on the nose packaging: a giant strawberry. He wishes he knew for other reasons).

You laugh, bright and loud, before you gasp excitedly. “Oh, Spencer, this is Matthias! He’s been keeping me company.” Then, you lean closer to him, your voice a very exaggerated whisper as if the person you’re talking about isn’t in the seat next to you as you tell Spencer, “he’s a director.”

Matthias waves off the statement, chuckling along. “Nothing famous though.”

“He’s a liar,” you tell Spencer enthusiastically. “Did you know he went to New York University? Crazy, right? Like, the school of arts or something. Oh! And he’s also from Vegas! You two are so alike.”

Spencer nods half-heartedly as he tells you, “you know, I went to MIT and CalTech.”

“Well I know that, silly!” You say with a drunken laugh, poking at his cheek. You turn to Matthias with a proud grin before reaching for a shot. “Spencer’s a genius. He’s a super smart genius.”

“That’s what ‘genius’ means, angel,” Spencer reminds gently, prying the little cup away from you. “No more. You’re drunk and we don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Your face falls and your lips curl into a frown. “But Spencer I’m thirsty!”

“You have water in your bag,” he prompts, squeezing your shoulder and helping you off the barstool, not paying this Matthias person any mind. “Okay? Let’s go back to the others.”

You nod eagerly, stumbling a little as you wave goodbye. “Bye, Matthias!”

“Uh huh,” Spencer dismisses, leading you back to the table by the small of your back. He leans a little closer to murmur in your ear, “why did you leave the others?”

You shrug dismissively, leaning into his side. “Doesn’t matter.”

“No, angel, it does,” he says carefully, “tell me?”

You huff in your own clumsy drunken way. “You should ask Austin. Or go pick someone else up. Emily says you’re turning into a ‘ladies’ man’.”

Spencer resists the urge to roll his eyes. Of course. “I don’t like Austin,” he tells you in earnest, holding you close to his side as you stumble back to the booth. “I mean it, angel.”

“Bet you call everyone angel,” you grumble under your breath. “Bet you let everyone call you ‘Walter’ too.”

“No,” Spencer says immediately, a hand on your waist. “I only call you that. Besides, why would I let someone call me by my middle name if it isn’t you?”

You huff again, slumping in the booth as Penelope shuffles inward to give you more room. Your arms cross over your chest in annoyance and frustration and  you turn away from Spencer’s direction. He doesn’t need to be a profiler to know that you’re pissed off at him. Somewhere in your hazy drunk mind, you’ve made it out as him being the bad guy.

Spencer shoots the other girls a pointed glare, gesturing at you as if to say ‘This is your fault’ because, in reality, it is. If they didn’t mention Austin, you wouldn’t be mad at him. If they didn’t mention Austin, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself drunk with some random guy who went to New York University. Spencer mocks Matthias in his head. Stupid Matthias and his stupidly good hair. Spencer runs a hand through his own growing locks, grimacing when he realises that it reaches his shoulders now. Maybe he should get a haircut later.

“Angel,” Spencer tries again, kneeling down next to your chair. “Let’s get you home, alright? Please don’t be mad at me?”

You mutter something incoherent, not bothering to look in his direction.

“I’m not in love with Austin,” he tells you, his tone a mix of firmness and gentleness. “Really, I’m not. We’re just friends, angel, I promise.”

“Liar,” you mutter under your breath as you get out of the booth. JJ guiltily passes you your bag and you take it out of her hands as Spencer grips your arm with one hand, the other on the small of your back. 

“Not a lie,” Spencer says, walking you to his car. “I wouldn’t lie to you about this. Not after Lila.”

“Lie-la,” you say bitterly as you get into the passenger seat. “Stupid actress.”

He laughs at that, getting behind the wheel. “Yeah, angel. Stupid actress.”

“You kissed her in a pool,” you continue as you fumble drunkenly with the buckle of the seatbelt. “You don’t kiss me in the pool.”

Spencer’s cheeks burn at your words as he puts your seatbelt on, his fingers grazing yours. “It never came up. Besides, I hate pools, you know that.”

“Germ-y,” you respond knowingly, a silly giddy smile on your face. “I know you the best.”

“Exactly,” he hums as starts the car, his words flowing smoothly as he considers how drunk you are. There’s no way you’d remember this, right? “Why would I find another girl when I have you who knows me best?”

Your cheeks glow with pride at his words and you laugh. “Exactly.”

*** 

It’s late. Far too late and you toss and turn in bed. Your eyes are heavy but your brain won’t shut up, swirling with the memories of the previous night. You’re not really sure what happened after you got to the bar, only remembering snippets of the night. The entire time was a blur: you remember getting upset at the girls (or rather, at the information they were feeding you), meeting someone– Mason? Matthew? You can’t even remember– and then downing three shots. It’s awfully stupid of you, yes but then somehow you got home safe and sound with a note on your kitchen counter from Spencer.

You felt a little silly upon the finding of the note. Of course Spencer would take you home; it’s not like the girls were particularly sober by the time you wanted to leave. Regardless, reading the note made you feel incredibly stupid, more stupid than usual, and you wanted nothing more than to bury yourself six feet underground. 

‘Hi angel,’ it read in Spencer’s messy scrawl with chaotic lettering and swirly g’s. ‘You’re probably really hungover right now so there’s a Tylenol on the counter and a sandwich in the fridge. Please drink water; I’m sure you’re also severely dehydrated from the alcohol. I know you’re upset at me but please just forget about what the others said about Austin. I don’t like her like that. Be safe and call me when you wake up.’

The note was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, just Spencer being his usual ridiculously lovely self. You didn’t mind that he took care of you, either. It’s more-so the fact that you genuinely could barely remember what you said that him. You’re betting on it being something exceedingly dumb (you’re making a habit of it, much to your own chagrin), especially considering how much you had to drink that night. Maybe you should start abstaining from drinking from now on, especially if Spencer was in the vicinity. 

The note is now pinned securely to your cork board, a pretty lavender thumb tack holding it in place. Your gaze drifts to it for a moment then to your clock and you groan into your pillow. This is dumb. Sleep is dumb. Your clock blinks with the numbers ‘02:01’ in red mocking letters and you resist the urge to scream. After blindly searching for your phone, you step out of bed while rubbing your eyes. 

The lingering question keeps you up as you pace back and forth beside you bed. If Spencer doesn’t like Austin, who does he like? It can’t be Lila. You would have known if they kept in contact. Then again, you had no idea who Austin was so who knows what secrets Spencer is keeping? What if there was another girl? What if your entire friendship with Spencer was exactly that– friendship. You slap the palm of your hand to your forehead. Were you really that stupid?

It’s in that moment when your phone begins to ring. The tune plays through the room and you know it all too well; the Doctor Who theme song that you spent a whopping two dollars and thirty-seven cents on to add it as the custom ringtone for Spencer. 

“Hello…?” You answer quietly, your voice choking. “Walter?”

“Angel,” he murmurs, and you can hear shuffling in the background. “Why are you still awake?”

You hum, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I could ask you the same question.”

He laughs quietly on the other side of the line, scratchy from the lack of sleep. “Can I come over?”

“Always.”

He hangs up after that and you press the pads of your fingers into the corners of your eyes again. You’re exhausted, far too exhausted to be hosting guests, but this is Spencer. How can you ever say no to him? So, instead of sulking around and spending far too long doing nothing, you fashion yourself a cup of tea and flick the lights on. The book you were reading is thrown haphazardly onto the cushions of your couch but you can’t bring yourself to pick it up. 

The jiggling of the door handle brings you out of your little mood, and Spencer lets himself in with the key you gave him, locking it securely and taking his shoes off to reveal his sock choice of the day: one bright green and the other in fuchsia with buttercup yellow spots. He’s wearing a crinkly white t-shirt that hangs over his gangly frame and grey sweatpants. For something so basic, he looks absolutely criminal in it. You pinch yourself as punishment for thinking such a thing. 

“Hey,” he breathes, sitting next to you. He runs his fingers through his hair, frowning a little. “Do you think I should get it cut?”

You laugh, almost spilling your tea. “You came to my apartment at two in the morning to ask what I think about your hair?”

“Yes,” he agrees before laughing, “no! Of course not. I just thought of it.”

A hum leaves your lips as you curl a strand of his hair around your finger. “I like long hair on you. Besides, you’d look good in any hair cut.”

Spencer preens at your words, enjoying the feel of your touch in his hair. “You’re a liar. I know what I looked like four years ago. Don’t lie.”

“I’m not!” You insist, beaming at him as you poke his cheek. “You were really cute back then. Like a baby.”

He flushes again at both the compliment and the contact, his mind committing the way you say ‘baby’ to memory. He thinks it again and again; baby, baby, baby. 

“I was not a baby,” He tells you, half in jest. “I’m older than you!”

“By a year,” you quip, the sleep deprivation making your head go loopy. “Barely. Doesn’t matter, you’re still baby.”

Spencer scoffs lightly, poking your side. “If I’m a baby, what does that make you? A foetus? A zygote?”

You let out a quiet scream in protest, whacking him over the head with a throw pillow. “Ew, Spencer what the hell?”

He snickers in response, shielding his face with his forearm. “If I’m a baby and you’re younger than me, you must be at an earlier stage of development. So? Which is it, are you a foetus or a zygote? C’mon, angel, you passed eighth grade biology.”

“You’re an ass,” you chastise jokingly, rolling your eyes as you look up at him. Sometime amidst the commotion he must have gotten closer to you. Your noses are almost touching and your breath hitches in your throat. 

He smiles sweetly, his own cheeks warm and flushed with embarrassment as he maintains eye contact. “I thought I was ‘baby’.”

What the hell? Is this really Spencer Reid? Silly, awkward, nerdy little Spencer Reid? This must be a very convincing body suit and an even more convincing voice altering machine because this is not Spencer Reid. You can feel the blood rush to your cheeks and ears so quickly that it’s enough to make you go dizzy. Maybe you’re a lot more sleep deprived than you thought. 

“Are you drunk?” You croak out meekly as he cages you in, his forearms on either side of your head as he leans you against the couch. 

He laughs– he has the actual audacity to laugh– and he shakes his head. “No, angel, I’m not drunk. You know I don’t drink enough to actually get drunk. Besides, I drove here.”

“You drove here,” you repeat, a little dazed from how close he is. “It’s two in the morning.”

“Almost three now but yes,” Spencer agrees, smiling. 

“You hate driving,” you remind him, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Especially at night.”

He hums in agreement. “I do. But I wanted to see you.”

“Oh.”

You kick yourself internally. ‘Oh’? Who the hell says ‘Oh’? This is it. Your life is over. Maybe you should move to another state. Change your name, shave your head, and get a different degree because you’re almost certain that it’s the end of the line for you.

Spencer lets out a soft chuckle. “I missed you.”

“You saw me two days ago?” You say it like a question and you suddenly feel yourself sweating. It definitely got hotter in here. 

He murmurs your name, his fingers grazing the skin of your jaw gently. “I’m so glad I met you.”

“I ran into you four years ago and almost gave myself a concussion,” you say, averting your gaze as you tried to calm yourself down. 

“I’m so glad I met you,” he repeats softly, his nose brushing against your cheek. “Look at me, angel.”

You wet your bottom lip nervously as you look at him, his hazel eyes a little greener in the low light of your apartment. His legs are on either side of your hips and he brushes his thumb against your chin. 

“I want to kiss you,” Spencer says lowly, albeit a little breathlessly, and you can hear hoarseness in his words. “Can I?”

You’re dead. You’re either dead or asleep, that is the only explanation you have for this entire situation. You’re either dead and in heaven or asleep and dreaming. It is that plain and simple.

“What?” You croak out, your nails digging into the skin of your thighs. 

“I know you wanted to do it in a pool but I’m pretty sure your apartment gym is closed now, angel,” Spencer says, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. “Can I kiss you?”

The only thing you can manage to do is nod, your eyes flickering to his lips for a split second, watching as the corners of his mouth tug upwards. Your brain barely has any time to comprehend the words he said (since when did you say that you wanted to kiss him in the pool?) because in a rush of confidence, Spencer cups your face and presses his lips to yours in a tantalisingly slow kiss. His eyes are closed and his hands are eerily soft, the gentleness in which he holds you reminiscent of one holding porcelain. 

He pulls away after a moment, his cheeks burning and a smile on his face. You can’t even breathe as you just stare at him, lips parted in surprise. What do you even say to that?

“Thank you?” You manage to stutter out, heat creeping up your neck.

He laughs again, breathless and beautiful, as he kisses the side of your face. “You’re welcome.”

Spencer brushes an eyelash from your cheek, beaming at you as he does. “It’s late,” he tells you, getting up from the couch and freeing your limbs. “You should get some rest.”

“Uh huh,” you respond, your head  spinning. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he says back, trying to hold in a laugh. “I’m free next Friday. Do you want to go out?”

“Go out?” You echo, “we always go out.”

“I know.” He smiles at you again as he makes his way to the door. “I meant– you know. We can go out.”

A beat passes and your head is awfully slow, whether from the kiss or from the sleep deprivation, you’re not entirely sure. “We can go out.”

“Great.” He pauses, taking a step towards you before kissing your cheek. “I’ll text you.”

“You’ll–” you gape at him again as he opens your door to leave. “You hate texting.”

He nods, slipping on his shoes. “I also hate driving at night. Your point?”

“Right,” you murmur, more to yourself than anything. “Text me when you get home?”

“Of course I will, angel,” he promises, “get some rest.”

Get some rest? How the hell are you supposed to get some rest after all that? With one last wave, Spencer leaves your apartment, leaving you hoping that this wasn’t just some thing. Maybe this was the very first page of your story– a very embarrassing start to your story. There is one thing for certain though: Spencer is not in love with someone else.

*** 

It’s a Tuesday when Penelope calls you. You had just finished up with a client when your phone begins to ring. 

“Penny!” You gush, unable to stop the smile from stretching onto your face. “I am stupid, I said ‘thank you’? Who the hell says thank you after someone kisses you?”

“Who kissed you?” Penelope asks, and if you weren’t so caught up in your own tangent you would have noticed that she sounded tearful. 

“Spencer did!” You exclaim, slapping a hand to your forehead. “He’s sitting there and he looks amazing and he smells really good and I am stupid.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Penelope says quickly, and you can imagine her waving her fluffy pen around. “He kissed you and you said thank you?”

“Yes.”

“Well that was very polite of you,” she says, trying to sound happy before her voice cracks.

You frown immediately, taking a seat in the wheelie chair in your office. “Penny? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“It’s about Spencer,” she says woefully, sniffling. “He wanted me to tell you something. It’s not looking good, honey, but– but he wanted me to give you a message.”

“Penny–” You stop short when you hear Spencer’s voice. It’s a recording from his phone, and you can only really tell because of the crackling audio on the other side of the line.

“Is it on?” Spencer asks before clearing his throat. He sounds breathless, his words breaking off at some parts and you know that it’s not from the bad audio quality. “Hey, angel, it’s me, Spenc– Walter. It’s your Walter. If you’re getting this then something happened and I just wanted you to know that– that I love you. I didn’t get the chance to tell you that before but I do. I love you and I wish it didn’t turn out like this but I am– I am so glad that we had that moment.”

Through the recording you can hear a shuffle, like the sound of a sliding door being opened, along with a quiet, “Prep the victim for transfer,” before the recording cuts out, leaving you with Penelope on the line. 

She calls your name quietly, choking on her words. “Are you okay?”

You hang up. 

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[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: after a years worth of production, she finally releases her single for an upcoming album! pt.1

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ynusername

liked by user45, gracieabrams and 183,287 others.

ynusername hi everyone, its been awhile! i took a break and during this break i worked on something i didnt think i could do, write music. i put my heart, tears, sweat and blood into making my new upcoming album, so just for you, im releasing one of the songs now. out now, on all platforms, ‘now that we don’t talk’ can be streamed. small thanks to my brother and my best friends (auston n gracie) who helped me with these songs and overall helping me through my hardships. love u lots.

comments

user this is already so good wtf

user okay but who is this about???

user its totally about trevor zegras right?? like their friendship ended on such bad terms so it must be him!!!

user why dont we just leave the trevor yn situation alone…

marner_93 love u sis, even tho i helped a lot on the song and haven’t gotten my deserved credit ☺️

ynusername erm… love u too!

user she sounds so forced LMAO

ynusername held at gun point lmao

user nah cuz what about jack hughes…

user doubtful

user they dated for like, a few years and hes hella popular, plus her and trevor were friends too

gracieabrams so proud bb 🤍

ynusername 🤍🤍

colecaulfield OKAY LIL MARNER 🔥🔥

ynusername WOOHOO

marner_93 this means you can sing the canadian anthem for the maple leafs 🥹🥹

ynusername yeah id rather not

mapleleafs our favorite marner 🥹🥹

ynusername stop 🥹🥹

marner_93 uh

matthewknies I CALLED MY MOM SHE SAID THAT IT WAS FOR THE BEST 😫😫😫

austonmatthews REMIND MYSELF THE MORE I GAVE YOU’D WANT ME LESS 😖😖😖

user oh my god…

quinnhughes_ 🎶

user ERM WHAT

user with important men who think important thoughts 😵😵😵

user do we think those important men were alex, cole, trevor, and the hughes boys

user their thoughts arent important lmfao

sabrinacarpenter this is art 🤭

ynusername babe you’re art 🤭🤭

user i hope jack knows he FUMBLED

user especially with that new girl…

user babe dont hate on other girls while saying you love yn, because u know she hates that stuff

user UHM? did you not see fiona basically mocking yn on tik tok? shes lucky jack barely uses tik tok fr

user and i hope she releases a second single before the album because babe this is TOO GOOD

user i AGREE!

umichhockey look at our girl go 😻

user erm what

user yn is on the girls hockey team babe

user oh right my b 😔

now that we dont talk!

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao), and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself

New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler

The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 

His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.

Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 

You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.

“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”

“Want you…”

“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.

“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.

“I want you.”

Truth.

You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.

“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”

If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.

He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.

“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”

“You were drinking.”

“I’m not drunk. I promise.”

Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.

He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.

You haven’t seen him like this in so long.

Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.

He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.

Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.

Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.

“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 

“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.

Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.

His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.

“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”

You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”

Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.

He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 

“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”

You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 

His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 

Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.

This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.

No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.

Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.

“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.

He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.

The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.

He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.

Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.

But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.

“Are you clean?” you ask.

It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.

“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”

He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.

“How long has it been?”

Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 

“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.

For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.

Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”

“Give me a minute.”

“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.

“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.

He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.

His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 

You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.

“You can move,” you say after a while.

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”

He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.

You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.

No, this is something else entirely.

I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.

“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Did you think about me?”

“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.

“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”

“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.

You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.

He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.

How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.

“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.

“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.

He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.

“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”

Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.

You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”

The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”

“Mean it.”

“I do mean it. I love you.”

Truth.

For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.

Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.

“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.

You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.

But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.

You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.

“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”

Jungkook groans at your answer. 

He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 

He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 

Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.

You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 

When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.

He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.

The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.

Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.

When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.

It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”

You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.

“Anything.”

You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.

“Tell me you can’t live without me.”

He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”

Truth. You know it’s the truth.

Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”

His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”

The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.

But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.

He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 

He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.

It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.

The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.

You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.

“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.

“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”

“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.

He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.

Are you gone forever?

Come back quietly.

“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.

The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.

“What?”

“How old are you?” you repeat.

It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”

"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."

His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.

No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.

“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”

Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.

He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 

You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.

There’s more to it, and you need to know.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.

You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.

A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.

What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.

Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.

He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.

He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.

Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.

When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.

Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?

Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.

It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.

It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.

She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.

“If you love her, you would let her go.”

Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.

He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.

She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.

Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.

The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.

Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.

He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 

She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.

That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.

He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.

July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.

You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.

You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.

“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.

Again with the apologies.

Fuck this.

It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.

You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.

He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?

“Y/N, wait-”

“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”

He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”

You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.

“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

“What?”

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”

Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.

It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.

“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 

He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.

He might bruise in the morning.

You hope he bruises in the morning.

The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.

You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.

But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.

Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.

This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.

The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.

You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?

“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”

You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.

You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.

“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”

It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.

“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...

In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.

“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”

up next...

our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 30, 2023]

[ayyy-pee]

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 4 - 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝑼𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅

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Pairing: Choso x f! Reader

Summary: Will this pain ever stop?

Chapter Warnings: Angst...again lmfao

WC: 6k

Choso Art By:NC9__

**While not all chapters contain adult content, the themes of this story are targeted towards adults, so minors DNI please.

You have an art project due.

You have an art project due that's worth sixty percent of your grade. 

You have an art project due that's worth sixty perfect of your grade, and you haven't even started it yet.

The canvas you’d set up two hours ago has been sitting in front of you without so much as a line drawn on it. The assignment is to sketch or paint something or someone meaningful from memory. You have many places you could choose from. You could paint your parents. They obviously mean the world to you. You could sketch your hometown, your friends from home or maybe your childhood bedroom.

Then there’s the obvious choice – the beach. The beach where you spent so many of your formative years. The beach where so many amazing memories were made. The beach where you met –

You shake your head wildly, willing yourself not to think about it, about him.

After four long months, many unanswered messages (because you’re blocked) and too many sad tears shed to count, you have now entered into the anger stage of your grief journey (with a sprinkle of the sads!). And honestly? It’s been easier for you that way. It’s been easier to hate him for what he did.

Him – because he doesn’t deserve his name to be uttered by you ever again. Not after the way he treated you. It’s not even the fact that he rejected you, though that sting was something you never want to experience again. But to make the choice to just end over a decade of friendship in the blink of an eye? A decision that wasn’t only his to make. To block you without another word? To just drop you like some stranger on the street after so many years, so many firsts together. To treat you like you never mattered at all…

Yeah, he can go to hell for all you care.

You push your canvas back with more force than necessary. Your artistic mood is ruined anyway, not that you were in one to begin with. It’s good timing, too, because a light knock echoes through your dorm door, and you beckon the visitor in.

“Hey,” Suguru enters, hands full of two six packs of beer. “You coming to Kai’s?”

Right. Tonight, Kaito – who you may or may not have vomited breakfast, lunch and dinner on after drinking too much and having a full on breakdown about him in the hallway in his hallway a week after he broke your heart – has invited you all over for a party!

It wasn’t Kaito’s fault. It was yours, really. You couldn’t look at the guy without being reminded of the conversation that led to your heartbreak.

“You should be with someone like him.” The memory played on loop in your drunken mind, pulled tears and anger from the depths of your soul and forced it all up for everyone to see.

Absolutely humiliating. Yet, despite your unfortunate mishap at the last gathering, Kaito still seemed to be interested in you. It probably helps that he has no idea that you confessed your feelings to your best – former best friend only to have your heart ripped out and fed back to you. You’d like to keep it that way. Some truths really are better left untold.

“I guess I could go,” you mutter to Suguru who has now cracked open a beer and placed it in front of you.

“Cool. Everyone’s already over there if you wanna walk together..” You open your mouth to protest, but Suguru quickly cuts you off. “I don’t mind waiting. It’s dark out anyway.” He flops down onto your bed, careful not to spill his drink. “Don’t feel comfortable with you walking alone.”

You stare at your friend from your spot on the floor. Sometimes - and you know it’s your mind inflicting its own sick torment on itself - Suguru reminds you so much of him in so many ways that it hurts. He’s quiet and caring, sweet and just an overall good person. He protects you in ways that feel so familiar it scares you. While there are no romantic feelings there for Suguru, you’ve found yourself growing even closer to him while navigating your heartbreak because of the familiar comfort he provides.

The warm sting forming along your waterline surprises you. Yes, you’re angry but there are still times when the overwhelming sadness feels just as fresh. You haven’t cried over this in awhile, but the kindness Suguru shows you consistently makes you think of those summers. And those summers make you think of his warmth and kindness that you’ve known all your life. And the memory of his warmth and kindness feels like a jagged blade being shoved slowly into your chest.

“You good?” Suguru’s quiet voice pulls you back to the present. “You look about two seconds from bursting into tears…”

You swipe at your eyes quickly, clearing your throat. “Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. Just stressed about this damn project. You know how it is.”

Even from across the room, you can see the way Suguru’s eyes narrow just slightly. He’s always been good at picking up on cues, catching people’s lies. But he doesn’t pry further, and you’re grateful when he simply stands and practically floats across the room where he reaches into the box of beers and easily pops the cap off of the bottle before handing it to you.

“Easy fix for all that stress,” he tells you. Your hand wraps around the bottle and you give Suguru a weak smile.

“Kai’s excited to see you, by the way,” Suguru adds, grinning behind his beer when he sees you choke on your first swig. He’s a good friend, but he can be such a dick sometimes! No wonder he and Satoru are so close. They both get off on catching people off guard, watching them squirm.

After nearly passing into the afterlife, you manage to finally catch your breath when Suguru takes pity on you and slaps a large hand against your back. “Is–” you cough harshly. “Is he really?”

“Yup. Dude likes you a lot even after you puked all over his new–”

“STOOOOOPPPPPP!”

“Shirt that he bought exactly for–”

“ENOUGH!!!” You squeeze your eyes shut.

“Hanging out with y–”

“I’m gonna yank your hair!” You slap your hands over your ears.

Suguru’s head falls back with raucous laughter. “As much as I’d love that, save the kinks for Kaito, please.” 

Your face practically ignites with embarrassment. Even joking about becoming intimate with someone after having only been kissed once makes you want to crawl into a hole. You take everything back. You hate Suguru and his teasing. 

Suguru downs the rest of his beer, happily observing your discomfort. “Go change so we can head out.”

You stand, flipping Suguru off before you head into the bathroom to get ready. You’re excited to go. You’re excited to see your friends and have a carefree time. And surprisingly, you’re kind of excited to see Kaito. You hope tonight will get your mind off of everything. You really need to forget all that’s been plaguing you over the last several months.

- - - - - -

When Suguru said Kaito was having a party, you didn’t think he meant an absolute fucking rager. Does no one give a damn that you’re quickly approaching midterms? Not to mention the mid-semester enormous projects your professors have been dumping on everyone! 

No one cares? 

No? 

Just you? 

Okay.

You suppose you could set your worries and stress and lingering thoughts about he who shall not be named aside for one night before it’s back to your regular scheduled programming. Even still, you just can’t wrap your head around how insane this party is. The last time you were at Kaito’s house (that’s putting it lightly – it’s more like a damn castle!), it was just your small study group. And you were very clearly going through something at the time, hence you spewing your guts out shortly after arriving for “casual” drinks and game night.

But tonight is different. There are warm bodies packed into the space, and you wonder if it’s the whole of the university that has been crammed into this place. Music is blaring so loudly you’re sure this party violates almost every noise ordinance there is. And again, no one seems to care. Everyone is pressed up against someone; hips moving scandalously to the beat. Multi colored lights flash across the room in time with the music. It’s more like a club here than a house party. It’s no wonder Suguru made you change out of your sweats and into a practically skintight dress.

If you’re going to enjoy this party, you’re going to need a drink – just one this time! You tell Suguru you’ll catch up with him in a bit, then maneuver your way into the kitchen as quickly as possible. When you’re there, you’re relieved to find that the kitchen is rather empty, just a few stragglers hanging around to grab more beverages. You appreciate the quietness in here, because the short time you were in the main room, the thumping was already giving you a headache.

Your eyes land on the counter where all the mixers and liquor sit. One little tequila and orange juice isn’t going to kill you, or result in you slumped on the couch (again), so you pour your little drink and take a sip. The burn of the alcohol is welcome. It soothes the bit of anxiety beginning to swell in your chest from the idea of having to move through that crowd again to find your friends.

“You look…” A smooth voice comes from behind you, making you jump in surprise. You spin around to find emerald eyes roaming along your form, appreciating the way the fabric of your dress hugs all your curves beautifully. “Wow…”

“Thank you, Kai,” you breathe, hiding shyly behind your red solo cup. “You look good, too.”

Kaito’s pretty grin spreads along his face, the two of you standing to the side of the small group gathered in the kitchen. “Suguru told me you were getting a drink. Had to come find you. How’ve you been?” He questions, reaching past you to grab a bottle of liquor. “Excuse me.” He pours himself a bit of alcohol.

“Not bad, just busy with this art project. I know I haven’t been around much, but I need to get a good grade on this one.”

He nods, eyes boring into yours. “I feel that. That’s why I threw this party.” He waves his hand around the room. “Needed something to get my mind off shit.”

Images of what – no, who – your mind has been stuck on flash through your mind, and you take another swig of your drink to quell the sadness threatening to resurface. “Honestly, I’m glad you did.”

Kaito smiles down at you, and you feel your heart race behind your ribcage. “Me, too. I’m really glad you came.”

You spend a good while speaking with Kaito in the kitchen, completely forgetting about the party outside of this room and your friends in general. It’s surprisingly refreshing. You’re open with Kaito, laughing at his jokes, letting him flatter you with the compliments he can’t seem to help but shower you with.

And you like it.

You like him. 

Kaito makes you feel good. You had no idea how much you needed to feel good until now. And even as Kaito leads you outside to a balcony overlooking a gorgeously lit garden, even as the music pumps so loudly through the closed double doors, it’s nothing compared to the pounding  Kaito causes your heart to do.

Maybe it really is a good thing that you came to this party. And a good thing you only had one drink!

“So…” Kaito sighs, staring out over the pretty shrubs and the enormous fountain that sits in the center of this outdoor garden. “Can’t believe senior year is coming up so quickly.”

“Oh wow, it really is. You’ll be graduating before you know it.”

“Scary times. Not looking forward to finding out what the real world's like.”

You hum in agreement. In another year you'll be in Kaito’s position, wondering what you will be doing for the rest of your life. And Kaito is right. It’s scary to think about. All of this stress from school will build up to something, though you don’t know what that something is yet. You’d love to sit and ponder on what your future holds, because just a few months before, you were fairly certain you knew what and who you wanted. But so much has changed in such a short amount of time. You don’t know what’s next for you. Regardless, you want to be open to change.

“There will be no talking about futures together, making plans, sailing off into the sunset…none of it.”

Yeah, you need to be open to change.

You sigh loudly. “As much as I love letting the existential dread set in, did you bring me out here to talk about school?”

Kaito laughs, running his fingers through his dark hair and you can just barely make out the crimson spreading along his cheeks in this dim lighting. He’s nervous, and you find it adorable. “No. No, of course not. I just…ah, fuck.”

You place a hand on his arm, soothingly patting. “Take your time…”

His eyes narrow playfully as he bites his lip, shaking his head. He leans against the balcony railing, turning to face you. “I really like you…” he admits, then he chuckles. “You know, if that wasn’t obvious.”

“I would have never guessed,” you tease, and Kaito laughs again. “I like you, too, Kai. I know I’ve been kind of…” You try to find the right word for your behavior over the last four months, but all you can come up with is, “a mess. But I do like you.”

Kaito’s face lights up. It’s so cute, the way he looks so excited to hear this. He moves closer to you, taking your hand in his, and you feel your heartbeat pick up speed.

“I’m so glad. I thought there was no way you were interested.”

This makes you burst into a fit of giggles. “How are you the one surprised here? I puked all over you and somehow you still like me.”

Kaito’s teeth sink into his bottom lip again, and he grins. “Would you think I was an absolute freak if I said that somehow made me like you more?”

Your brows knit together in confusion, but you can’t help the goofy smile spreading across your lips.

“I just mean!” Kaito stumbles over his words, trying to correct himself. His fingers card through his hair again, and you make note that this seems to be a nervous habit of his. “Ugh, I mean…most girls have something absolutely humiliating like that happen and–”

“Off to a great start,” you jest, which makes Kaito smile harder.

“You know what I mean. I just didn’t think that you’d still want to be friends after something like that happened. I was kind of worried that you’d be too embarrassed to want to talk to me.”

“I was,” you admit. “But you kept coming around to study group so it made it kind of hard to avoid you.” Your lips quirk into a smirk, letting Kaito know that you’re still teasing him.

“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts cutely before he adds, “Would you think I was an absolute freak if I said that somehow makes me like you more?” He winks, and you both fall into a fit of giggles.

You’re not sure when the last time you felt so…free was. The air around Kaito is so refreshing, so light, so nice. You can be yourself with him. You can laugh with him. You can just…be with him.

Kaito’s sudden silence has you peering up at him, only to find his face serious. Somehow, you’re just noticing that he’s much closer. He leans down slowly, and your heart thrums loudly in your ears as your breaths mingle. Kaito has his eyes locked on your mouth, his tongue peeking out to run along his bottom lip and your eyes follow the motion. 

“I want to kiss you so badly…” He confesses quietly. “So badly.” 

Your cheeks warm at the prospect. You’ve never kissed anyone besides him. And you’re unsure if–

No.

You push the memory away. He wanted you to be happy even if it meant it was with someone else. He removed himself from your life to make sure of that. So now, you will do what was asked of you, and move on.

“Can I…” Kaito’s voice beckons you back to him. “Kiss you?”

“...yes.” You nod, agreeing quickly. The both of you slowly lean closer, Kaito’s hand squeezing yours, until your lips just barely ghost over each other. Kaito’s hand comes up to cup your cheek, then he closes the distance, pressing his mouth gently to yours.

His lips are so soft, so careful as they move against yours. The taste of Kaito’s mouth has you sighing into the kiss, the mixture of mint and whiskey more pleasant than you would have imagined. It’s nice, just like everything about Kaito. 

Your mind is reeling, heart beating wildly in your chest. You’re finally experiencing your first kiss at college! You used to dream of this moment. Giving your first college kiss to someone you really like. And you really like Kaito. This kiss…it’s everything you ever hoped for!

So why does the way Kaito’s lips caress yours feel so wrong? Why does the way his hand gently strokes your cheek feel so off? And the way he sighs your name against your lips? It’s just all so wrong.

You try to fight it, try to resist the way your head floods with images of that hot summer night at the beach all those years ago, of that kiss that seems to have ruined you for all other men. How compared to everything else going on at this moment, it all felt right. There were no awkward feelings, no doubts, no sudden alarms blaring in your head telling you that you should not be kissing this person. And it has your heart dropping.

This isn’t fair.

It isn’t fair that no matter how much you think you’ve moved forward and healed, it only takes one tiny thing to send you right back to square one. It isn’t fair that you’ve been put in this position by no choice of your own in the first place. It isn’t fair that even as this man who so clearly likes you presses his lips to yours, you can only think of being somewhere else with someone who isn’t him.

It isn’t fucking fair.

What’s even worse is that that damn beach seems to haunt you no matter what you do. It’s crazy how you can see the water so clearly in your mind, damn near feel the mist of the ocean spray on your face as Kaito slots his lips against yours. And it seems Kaito feels this mist as well, because he pulls back, brows knit together as his beautiful eyes roam your features.

“Did I do something wrong?” He questions quietly. The confusion seems to be clear as day on your face because Kaito gently swipes at your cheek and it’s then that you feel the wetness on your skin. Tears; big, fat ones at that. You hadn’t even realized you had started crying.

A sob involuntarily rips from your throat and your hands fly to your mouth to cover the sound. But then another follows. And another. And it’s all you can do to just close your eyes and try to will yourself not to break down right here. But when you feel yourself wrapped in an unfamiliar, but soothing embrace, a wave of emotion comes crashing down on you harder than the wave that brought you to him over a decade ago. And it only makes you cry harder. Kaito’s arms squeeze you tightly, his hand rubbing soft circles on your back.

“It’s okay…” he whispers, though you can hardly hear him over your weeping. “Whatever’s going on…it’s gonna be okay.”

The two of you stand like this for a while. Kaito simply holds you until your body stops shaking with each sob. 

“I–” You sniffle loudly, burying your face in Kaito’s chest because once again, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of him and now you’re too ashamed to look at him. “I’m so, so sorry, Kai.”

His hands fall on your shoulders, pulling you from his hold and you peer up at him, only to find him gazing softly down at you.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Kaito is so sweet. Too sweet for you, who is too damaged to be of any good to him.

“I’m going through sort of a break up right now,” you confess. “I care about him very much, but it just didn’t work out. I thought I was ready to move on, to try this, but I don’t think I am.” You feel fresh tears beginning to fall. “I’m sorry. I really do like you, but I’m just not ready for anything new.”

Kaito nods, in understanding, pulling you back into his arms when he sees another tear roll down your cheek. “I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

See? Too sweet for you.

Kaito whispers your name as he releases his hold on you. “Just know that you’re an amazing person. I’d still love to be friends with you, if you’re comfortable with that.” He squeezes your shoulder comfortingly. “And whoever broke your heart…they fucked up letting you go.”

His words make you want to cry harder. You wish you could believe that, believe that you were worth fighting for. But you were the one fighting, and right now, you feel like the one who lost.

Still, you manage to mutter a quick “thank you” before you hug Kaito one last time for the night.

- - - - - -

Maybe you’re doomed to never leave Kaito’s house on a good note. Twice you’ve left there in shambles, and you’re not willing to see if the third time’s a charm.

You leave Kaito’s without bothering to find your friends to say goodbye. You don’t want to see them, don’t want to explain the reason why you’re suddenly racing back to your dorm. Don’t want them to know that the moment you get back to your dorm you’ll be falling to pieces. You want to be alone. 

In the safety of your dorm, there’s no one here to tell you it will be alright, no one to soothe your pain or offer you words of encouragement. And you don’t want it. You want to feel these emotions, let them all out as the waves come. You need the space to do so.

You don’t care that you’re standing in your room in the same stupid dress you were wearing when you broke down in front of Kaito after telling him you liked him, after having your first kiss in college with him. You feel ridiculous as is, so what’s one more thing to add to the roster? 

Your eyes spot the stupid blank canvas on your table, still in the same spot you left it when you headed out to the party with Suguru, and your body moves on autopilot. You let your hands do what they know how to do best, dipping your paint brush into whatever color feels right. 

Each stroke of the brush feels like a weight lifted, feels cathartic and the sorrow that drove you to paint in the first place melts into raw anger. The tears fall as an image begins to take shape, furious brushstrokes flying across the canvas.

You don’t know how long you’re sitting there painting, but when you’re no longer able to shed another tear, and your angry sobs finally subside, you set your brush aside and observe the finished product.

It’s the beach - your beach - painted the way you see it now. 

Messy. 

Distorted. 

Tainted with memories that now leave a sick taste in your mouth. 

And it’s beautiful.

You wipe your swollen eyes as you stand and strip off your dress, leaving the fabric in a pile on the floor. You don’t give the painting any more attention, don’t bother looking back, leaving it to dry while you head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.

Come Monday, when you present your project in class, your professor does not hesitate to gift you an A. You listen numbly as she rambles about the raw emotion it evokes. She sings your praises about your growth this semester, and she tells you she hopes to see more of this passion in your future work. 

It’s bittersweet, but you suppose something good had to come from all of this pain. 

Maybe one day, when it’s not such a sore spot, when it doesn’t hurt so fucking much, you’ll thank him for it.

- - - - - -

Your senior year creeps up on you. All of your hard work has finally paid off, and you’ve fortunately been able to take it pretty easy for your last year of college. You even had time to complete an internship with an incredible art gallery and may have a position lined up for after graduation!

You want it so badly, so you’ve been spending more time experimenting with your art. It keeps you busy, which is exactly what you need.

Utahime and Shoko are officially together, not that their relationship was much of a secret to begin with. You love seeing those two together. Especially now that Utahime is no longer struggling with her classes. She can dedicate more time to her music and spend more time with her girlfriend before she leaves for medical school.

They’re sweet with each other, but third wheeling with them sucks. Nothing is fun when you’re stuck watching your friends making out wherever you go. You still love them, but you’ll see them again once they’re out of the honeymoon phase. So maybe you’ll never see them again. Who knows?

Satoru and Suguru…They also became a couple, but that was a toxic situation that lasted about a year before they had a very nasty breakup that ended with Suguru transferring schools. 

Though Satoru does make frequent visits to “see his friends” that just so happen to live in the same city that Suguru moved to. You’re not sure what’s up with your friends and feeling the need to hide their relationships when it’s all so glaringly obvious what they’re up to. But you don’t pry.

And you? You haven’t tried dating anyone since that disastrous night at Kaito’s. You needed time to heal, so you’ve poured all your energy into your artwork. Clearly it’s paid off for you.

Speaking of Kaito, he graduated! He was offered an amazing position with a great company, and actually moved out of the country. You two remain good friends, which is why as you lie in bed scrolling through your Instagram feed, you see the pictures of him and his new girlfriend on your feed. You double tap, liking it. They’re so cute together. And Kaito seems so happy, and you’re happy for him.

Your finger continues to swipe at the screen, scrolling through pictures and videos of your friends. Some of your high school friends have gotten married. Some are pregnant. Others have adopted a new pet. Now that you’ve got time to breathe, it feels like everyone’s life is changing so quickly. 

But still, it’s nice to have time to do absolutely nothing. You spent a good majority of your college career frantically trying to keep your head above water. You’re glad for the downtime.

A notification suddenly pops up on your Instagram. It’s a message request, though you’re not sure from who. 

“You love stallions?” You question aloud. “Who the hell…” You squint, bringing your phone closer to your face to see if the profile picture gives you any clues as to who is randomly sending you a message. But it’s just a pair of…red shoes? You have half a mind to delete the message, because when you try to view the page, it’s private.

But apparently, you’ve really got time on your hands, because curiosity gets the better of you and you open the message.

yuluvstallions: hi Y/N!!! 

yuluvstallions: (i hope this is ur page. I messaged like 4 others) 

yuluvstallions: It’s me! Yuji!! It’s been a REALLY long time! Hope ur doin good! Plz tell ur mom nd dad i said hi! 

yuluvstallions: I miss u SO much so i had 2 try nd find u on here! N e way. Idk if u remember but my bday is comin up in a few weeks! Im gunna be 13! Can u believe it?! IM A TEENAGER!!!

yuluvstallions: i think u might b on spring break during that time, so id really love it if u could come. I’ll send details here

Yuji attaches an image of his party invitation, and you can’t even focus on that because you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe. The invitation font sits atop the background image, against the sky. It gives all of the location’s details, the time and the date. And at the bottom of this image are the four brothers, standing on the beach with their arms around each other’s shoulders and big grins on their faces.

There’s Yuji, who looks to be almost as tall as you, wears the biggest smile. Then Kechizu, who is still short and stocky, the same way you remember him. Eso, who has a mohawk now? And then, there’s him.

Choso.

You set your phone down. You think you’re going to be sick.

- - - - - -

It’s nearly one in the morning when Choso arrives home. He’s not usually off this late, but he’s been finding it easier to sleep when he comes home absolutely exhausted. Though it doesn’t help much. He’s only been managing to sleep a few hours a night for the last few years, and somehow, by some miracle, he hasn’t keeled over. 

Choso sets his keys down, heading up the stairs, careful to avoid the worn steps that he knows will creak beneath the pressure so as to not wake Yuji. He slips into the bathroom where he strips off his uniform and steps into the shower. The heat of the water melts away the thick scent of dairy and sugar from Choso’s skin and hair, and he finally feels like he can relax.

It’s been a surprisingly busy spring season. He can thank spring break for that. The town has university students coming in and out like a revolving door, and business is booming because of it. He can’t complain. It’s more money, and it keeps his mind off of…things.

Choso finally settles into bed, pulling his blanket up to his chin. He’s exhausted.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like sleep is in his near future because he hears a knock on his door the second he closes his eyes. The door cracks open, a head of pink hair peeking in. His youngest brother slips into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Yuji looks nervous, moving across Choso’s room to sit at his desk. “Hi, big brother,” he beams. “How was work?” And while Choso loves when Choso refers to him as his big brother, he can only assume Yuji wants something.

“What is it?” He asks, voice clearly conveying his exhaustion.

Yuji plays with the hem of his shirt, eyes fixed on the floor. “So…as you know, my birthday bonfire is coming up.”

“Still can’t believe you’re about to be 13,” Choso sighs, shakily. Yuji has grown up so fast and is quickly becoming an incredible young man.

‘Don’t cry. Don’t cry…’

Yuji chuckles nervously. “Yeah…so…It’s a big milestone, right? Like, a big birthday because I’m finally a teenager…”

“Yes…I know…What are you getting at?”

“Would it be okay if I invited…” he trails off, but it's obvious who Yuji’s referring to – you. Of course Yuji wants to see you. He's got the same emotional attachment to you as Choso has to him. He can admit that in the past it made him jealous, how much Yuji loved you. And how much you loved Yuji. But right now, the idea of Yuji extending an invitation to you after not seeing you for almost half a decade, after the way things were left off between you…it sets his nerves on fire.

He has no idea what you're up to these days. It takes a hell of a lot of restraint each time the temptation crosses his mind, but he doesn't check your social media. And if his brothers have any contact with you, they don't provide him any insight into your life either. Though Choso thinks that's more in protest of how things went down between you two, not to protect his feelings. They always did love you more. 

But would Choso be able to handle seeing you after the way he treated you all these years later? The idea of seeing you standing in front of him makes him feel sick. And the idea of seeing you standing in front of him with…Kaito, or whoever you may be dating now makes him want to vomit. He knows he told you to move on, find someone who could be better for him than he could ever be, but he doesn’t want that flaunted in his face either.

Ugh, this is just all fucked up.

Choso’s aware of how selfish it would be for him to say no to Yuji because of his own feelings. Because he’s scared to face the consequences of his actions. He caused this rift between you two. He burned the bridge. Not you. Not Yuji. Choso did that. Maybe you’ll show up. He’s sure Yuji and his other brothers would love to see you. Worst case and most likely scenario, you hate Choso and won’t come at all. 

That idea hurts just as much. 

But Choso can’t use what he did as a reason to tell Yuji no.

“Sure,” Choso finally grunts. “Invite her, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Yuji grins, wide and goofy. He stands, clapping his hands together as he makes his way out the door before calling back, “Good! Because I already invited her and she said she’s comingggg!” He sings from the hall.

“YUJI, SHUT UP!” Choso hears Eso’s muffled yell from his room, followed by Yuji’s loud laughter.

Choso groans, staring up at the ceiling as his mind races. If he thought he was getting any sleep tonight, he was sorely mistaken. How could he sleep now? Knowing that in a few short weeks, he’ll be seeing you for the first time in years. Potentially speaking to you for the first time since he hung up in your face and blocked any form of communication with you. The conversation haunts him to this day, like some strange form of punishment. It’s why he works so much, why he sleeps so little. At least when he’s awake, he can keep his thoughts at bay.

Exhaustion snatches Choso, his body finally giving in so he can sleep. He’s sure he’ll wake up tomorrow feeling as though he never relaxed for a moment. That’s how it always is. Because while he can keep himself busy enough to not think of you for a second while he’s awake, it’s when he closes his eyes that his mind torments him with nothing but images of you.

This time, his dreams are pleasant. This time, he sees you and him together. You and him, on the beach where it all began.

[twilghtkoo]

ride - jeon jungkook

summary. the mini adventures of you and jungkook on his motorcycle

pairings. biker!jungkook x reader (f)

genres/au. fluff, smut, angst, suggestive, f2l, established relationship, non-idol

warnings. each part will have its own warnings

notes. a bunch of motorcycle tiktoks are popping up on my fyp and i remembered jk owning clothes from a motorcycle clothing brand and i was thinking . . . and yeah :D another series vivian is starting lmfao but pls pls pls lmk by reblogging or liking if ure excited for this mini series just as i am !!!

10 PART MINI SERIES

[ series masterpost | masterlist | taglist ]

—

PARTS

▷ ride: first date (1.6k) | fluff

“you nervous?” “yeah.”

▷ ride: rendezvous (?) | fluff, angst, comfort

“where are we going?” “you’ll see.”

▷ ride: storm chasing (?) | fluff, smut

“you don’t think we’re moving too fast?” “i want this if you want this.”

▷ ride: cool with you (?) | fluff, smut, slight angst

loading . . .

—

ride drabbles

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[le-trash-prince]

4 minutes EP 8 thoughts

Last episode 😔😔😔 I’m gonna need Spare Me Your Mercy and Petrichor to come soon so I can get my Sammon fix

A version of Tyme with bedside manner??? Was this what he was like without the revenge plot taking up all of his brain?

love that the clock changed time as soon as she left

This domestic af montage of them being all soft is destroying me…

UH THROWING WHY DONT YOU STAY IN HERE WAS FUCKING SAVAGE???

love that Tyme can feel the rain on his face. Love that his connection to Great kept him from walking towards the light

Faisah spent this whole show sitting around sipping wine and I respect that

I must say I’m very surprised to see Tonkla and Korn run into each other’s arms kissing like this.

Korn’s face looking betwern Tonkla and Win dbfjfjfjf

Tonkla “Oh yeah did I mention I shot your brother. By the way I cheated on you too.”

Well I sure did not expect Tonkla to take a bullet for Korn. Win you done fucked up

Oh Great’s gotta live with knowing his actions led to his brother’s death…

The fuck kind of art exhibition???

GREAT JUST RAN OFF AND LEFT HER COLLAPSED ON THE STAIRS SHFJJFF I shouldn’t be surprised at this point…

Praying that Nan is somehow still alive and getting vengeance on Warit 🙏

Tyme to Manee: you can die anytime you like, but not in this bed

Tyme to Warit: you can die

ok fine sure doctors shouldn’t murder their patients 🙄

Well I still have questions… but I didn’t come here expecting answers ig 🤷‍♂️ at least Great and Tyme survived, plus Great’s parents and Warit and Title went down. I would’ve been frustrated if none of the Sriwat cargo stuff got resolved in the end. I would like to know who tf had kidnapped Warit (Nan’s vengeful spirit in my heart).

Also the art exhibition lady??? Did she just give them future seeing abilities??? Coz Tyme had the OOBE but he never saw the future the way Lukwa and Great did. Anyways that’s lady Jinta in my head.

The bar for worst BL dad is pretty high (Tony Chen when I catch you) but Great’s mom might get worst BL mom in my book lmfao she really did not give a shit

Overall I think the series was fun ride. There were some things I felt could have been improved upon, but when is there not? The series had a lot of really great visual storytelling, some wonderful performances, and I think a nice story about how Great and Tyme had this brief but meaningful connection that they both felt could have gone better under different circumstances, and the way that connection saved them. Sometimes you don’t need an earth shaking romance to feel that with someone. Sometimes you just find someone you want to have a peaceful life with.

Anyways Spare Me Your Mercy, Petrichor come soon please 🙏

[leejenowrld]

are there any scenes that you wrote but ended up taking out?

yeah! loads

more scenes of jeno and his friend group, i wanted to include so so much more and explore what this “fuckboy” player side of him actually is because it’s obvious i didn’t delve too much into it, but the fic would’ve been a series then and i didn’t want to make a series, it would be too long

more scenes of jenos thinking! like i wanted there to be an entire section where he fights against his own feelings and tries to push them away, i wanted him to be in denial and then i wanted to create angst by making him give yn mixed signals

like i wanted him to fuck a lot of girls, distance himself from yn, go partying, get drunk and high a lot, basically just be a major dick but it was just too much to put in a single one shot. if i made it a series though i would’ve definitely done that! because in the one shot it wasn’t really jeno who caused any problems, it was yn, if it was a series, i’d rile up the angst to a major level and make them both trouble makers :D

because jeno has never fallen in love, i wanted to add some spice and angst but oh well i am happy with the jeno i wrote

i had more spicy smut scenes lmfao

i had a kinda fwb storyline! this is different to the other storyline i just described of jeno being a dick, in this one jeno pines for her and he falls first and he falls harder

my original draft for yn was for her to be the hot shy girl, if ygm? like the mysterious girl who everyone low-key finds really hot but they just don’t approach her because she’s not friendly, she keeps to herself

and in this original draft she also doesn’t want a relationship! she wanted to focus solely on her studies and her part time job, so it’s actually her who suggested the fwb. but tbh, i decided against fwb because it would be too many tropes for one fic, too overwhelming, and fwb has been done amazingly in the nct fic world so 🫶

and jeno was so obbessed with her that he said yes, he just wanted her, even if it wasn’t all of her

well they wouldn’t specify it as fwb, it would legit be “i love fucking you but i don’t want a relationship”

and it would turn into a relationship by jeno getting so high and drunk because he’s just… fed up, he wants more but instead he ends up telling her he loves her and she says it back :( and bam they’re a couple

but the yn in my story that i went with was more sweet. the stereotypical good girl, my original characterisation of yn was a good girl with a twist, a darker side

i also wanted to do fwb turned into fake dating… can you tell i have a wildness for teen movies and their tropes

but i’m glad i just calmed down on the tropes. i mean hey, they’re also there for my future fics!

i wrote a scene at the end of johnny and ten as a rich young handsome married couple lmao they’re a thing in my universe

there’s perhaps a scene of jeno and yn angry sex

and also a scene of them fucking and jeno falling in love with her and she falls in love with him… in the moment

wanted yn to be a virgin and it was really hard for me to go against that lol

i either wanted yns first time with him to be soft like it’s her first time ever and he talks her softly through it, is so soft, so reassuring and ugh just so gentle

or i wanted her to take the lead for her first time ;) she was so ready for it

if you want me to release any of these scenes as one shots then do let me know

[phoenixisobsessed]

You know I interest with scenario human and bots or cons sharing in a human body.

I will pick sam (because he unlucky top of list and easy pick ) when sam shove Allspark into Megatron chest Allspark decide to put Megatron spark into Sam's body and they forced to sharing same body.

The funny part in this scenario that sam must listen Megatron ranting about how weak and fragile sam body is and really questioning how human can survive with wak body.

I think we need more that scenario in fanfic because that is very rare. I have one story with that scenario

(Quickl disclaimer, sorry if this response is messy I am currently having a migraine. Don’t worry though, I just took my migraine medication. Should kick in soon and they make me extremely eepy so I’m trying to race them LMFAO.)

Transformers does have interesting concepts of like consciousness, especially between robot and human. Like for example in Transformers Prime, Bumblebee goes into Megatron’s head, but a part of Megatron stays in Bumblebee because they didn’t pull out in time, (I am hilarious) and in Cyberverse there’s the whole “Windblade entering Bumblebee’s head” and stuff. (Why is it always Bumblebee goddamn) But these (in a way) make sense since, yeah, they’re robots. Hooking yourself up to something, or in these cases, somebody else, makes sense to cause consciousnesses to kind of “merge” or I guess just link? Be together? I don’t know how to say it properly.

And then…they decide that the same now works on humans as well? I don’t know if this means that human souls are like canon or something. Like I guess there may be some kind of electrical current connection between the human and robot in those cases (Sam putting the Allspark to Megatron’s spark / Spike being connected to a machine(?), transferring his consciousness to a mechanical body in gen1) but still. Humans aren’t a bunch of complex code in the way that a transformer is, (I’m not certain about that but I am just writing my thoughts) and this implies that this relates back to sparks and souls. So, are human souls canon in transformers? Maybe. And if so, it’s interesting that a spark and a human soul are so similar so that they can transfer between species, at least to a point, pretty successfully.

Like clearly, even if it’s not as deep as a consciousness transfer, humans and transformers can work together (literally). Most recent example being Mirage and Noah in the end of the movie when they merge, going all the way back to some of the older Japanese series (not gonna go into alla that rn).

And don’t even get me STARTED on the kind of connections they have in Earthspark with the Terrans. That rock is doing some crazy shit, and I don’t remember the lore of it. No I’m not looking it up right now.

And I mean, with the existence of Maximals and Predacons, there’s clearly proof that transformers can work together with organic matter at least somewhat.

I got so off topic ngl. Started going down theorising lane here for a second while we were talking about fanfics. This rabbit-hole goes so deep and I do not have the brains to figure it all out. But I agree, fanfics with this would be hilarious. Would read.

(I haven’t researched this at all and just took what information I could remember so excuse if any of this is crazy inaccurate or if answers to my questions already exist. Just thought this was a very interesting topic)

[sunlightandsuffering]

Y’all know who’d go crazy with Eren and Mikasa not wearing condoms on that series of baby roulette drabbles? Not Armin, Armin’s reaction was mild compared to Floch’s. Floch is anti-Mikasa and when he finds out they’re not wearing any condoms he’s shocked out of his mind and about to throw up. Do you think Mikasa tells Floch they don’t use condoms just to be a brat and establish her dominance or does Floch try to find out the size of Eren’s cock on his own (like asking for condom tips like Armin lol) and gets this same answer again?

IM LAUGHING AT ALL THE FLOCH HATE HERE IT'S SO FUNNY! Someone sent me a similar ask like right before u and iether ur the same or u guys are just on the same wave length lmfao! we need a floch hating universe tag bc there was that one funny trail of asks where we were just HATING on him hard lol.

Mikasa has never liked Floch.

Not since the first day she met him, the eight grade having just begun, all of the elementary school students mixing together for the first time. Rival cliques forming, new friendships blossoming, and for Mikasa, the most stressful time in her life because her and Armin had to hold tight to Eren like a fucking lifeline. They hadn't been dating back then, but it was widely known amongst their little group that Eren belonged to her, that if someone was going to date him it would be her.

They had been friends for the longest, still lived across the street from each other, their moms were good friends, she was over at his house almost every day. A weird sort of possessiveness had overtaken her because she would NOT be losing her future husband to some brand new girl.

But little did she know, her real competition would be him, the irritating little red head that become obsessed with Eren nearly the moment he saw him: Floch Forster. He'd become almost enamored with Eren, and it got worse the older they got. Eren joined the soccer team, so did Floch, Eren took art instead of music class, so did Floch.

Even into university, of course she and Eren would attend the same universtiy, and yet the first day of classes there he was, sidling up next to Eren like it was nothing. Fucking Floch. Mikasa hates him.

Even more so because his obsession has so clearly morphed into a crush, and Mikasa doesn't discriminate when it comes to love rivals, anyone and everyone is seen as competition and she will NOT stand for Floch trying to steal her man. They're sitting at lunch, one of the larger cafe's on campus, Floch having found them after his most recent class to interrupt their intimate lunch date and Mikasa is fuming as usual because this is HER time with HER man.

"Yeah," Eren is nodding, patronizing his friend because he's never seen it, never understood her immense hatred of the man, "That exam was killer, we'll see how much they curve it." "I'm sure you did great Eren," Floch tells him helpfully and Mikasa's lip curls up in disgust, what a suck up. Where she was drilling Eren with exam questions up until the last moment before he went in here is this little puppy dog of a man spoon feeding him praise. Idiot. That is not how Eren will see results!

Eren smiles, turning to Mikasa, ever the doting boyfriend, "It'll be because Miki helped me study so much if I do." He leans in to kiss her and Mikasa makes it long, slow, her hand coming up to tangle in his hair, her tongue teasing his as she leans in. She makes an exaggerated little moaning sound as Eren grips her hip, his hands unable to stay by his side, tugging her closer to deepen the kiss and Mikasa squeezes his bicep to keep her balance. "Eren," she whispers breathily as he finally pulls back, rubbing the entire act in Floch's stupid face, and Eren looks out of it now, his pupils blown wide. He looks like he wants to discard his lunch all together in favour of taking her back to his apartment.

Eren winks at her as he pulls back, hand on her hip and ready to drag her away at any moment.

Mikasa grins, "You just needed some motivation baby what can I say?" Floch looks utterly disgusted and Mikasa smiles like the cheshire cat.

Eren meanwhile is getting antsy, it's clear to her that kiss was a precursor to a little afternoon delight if she can get away with it. "I'm gonna throw our stuff away okay Miki and then lets head home for a bit before your evening class." Floch looks like he wants to open his mouth, to protest but Mikasa cuts him off, looking up at her boyfriend spiritedly, all smiles, "I'd love that baby." Floch's mouth shuts in irritation and Eren gathers their lunch trays before disappearing off towards the trash and recycling bins. Mikasa has about two minutes alone with the little leprechaun and she's going to make it count. She turns, eyes thinned to slit, venom in her voice, "Stay away from him Floch." The Leprechaun glares back murderously, "No." "He's my boyfriend."

"Well maybe that could change," Floch smarts back, "You're awful confident for a girl who didn't make a move on him until the eleventh grade." Her nostrils flare and she could reach across this table and fucking claw his eyes out, she wants to.

"I'm confident because I have a promise ring on my finger and I'm the only one he's ever been with, everything that turns Eren on is me," she tells him confidently. "Until it's not," Floch scoffs, "Anything can get old after a while Mikasa, even you."

God she hates him, and she wishes she hadn't let Eren take her fork away, it would look awfully good sticking out of his hand right about now.

"I'm not worried about it, he still wants me just as badly as the day I took his virginity." "You sure?" Floch jeers, "Everyone likes to experiment in university, even men, don't count me out yet Mikasa."

"Don't fool yourself you were never even in the ring, I could take him home right now if I wanted and he'd thank me for it." "I think you give yourself too much credit Ackerman." "You don't give me enough," she retorts.

"You're just a pretty face and a nice body Ackerman, that's all. Eren will tire of you eventually, they always do, high school sweethearts don't last." "I'm a fuck of a lot more than that," Mikasa snaps, "You're an idiot if you think Eren is with me just for my looks, he loves me. My tits are just a nice perk." "Whatever you say Mikasa," Floch jeers, a cruel smile on his face, "They'll get saggy soon enough and then we'll see how big you're talking." Mikasa fumes, murderous, how fucking dare he. She's saved from answering at the sound of Eren's footsteps, and out of pure spite Mikasa yanks the V-neck of her top down to expose her ample cleavage. She mouths a quick 'Fuck You' to Floch before turning to Eren, and just seeing him is a relief, "Babe, I don't feel great can we head back now?"

Eren's words of concern are cut off by Floch, who isn't about to go down without a fight, "But Eren said he'd study with me." Eren is fighting a frown, his attention locked completely on her, and then more accurately, her tits as his eyes zero in on the creamy flesh of her breasts. "I really think I should get Mikasa home if she isn't feeling great," Eren mumbles absently, his hands slipping down to her waist, massaging her sides and going for a very discrete feel of her tits. It makes her smirk. Floch huffs, "I'm just worried about this quick next week, you know how crazy they are after an exam, it's right back into the material." "I'm sure it'll be fine," Eren mumbles, his gaze slippingn up to her face now, concern etched in his expression, "I want to get Mikasa home." He sure fucking does, she can tell just by the twitch in his hands as he touches her. He wants her. Now.

She gives him her most innocent look, holding her hands up for him to grab her, "Yeah I just wanna get home, lay in bed with you for a bit, I need a recharge."

A soft smile overtakes Eren's face and he takes her hands, lacing her fingers with his, "Yeah I need some Mikasa time."

Mikasa smiles winningly at Floch, tossing her hair over her shoulder as Eren helps her up, the final blow, "But Eren," She looks at him with faux concern, "Baby I think we're out of condoms though, should we buy more?" Eren looks genuinely confused as he tugs her up from the bench, his hand finding her hip almost worryingly and he's quick to stroke over the exposed skin.

"Baby what are you talking about you know I hate condoms, we havne't used them in forever" His brow furrows as he slips his other hand up to cup her forehead, checking her temperature, "Especially with you, you know I love going bare, are you sure you're okay?"

Mikasa smiles sweetly, surging up for a kiss, "Yeah I'm great, just love you."

Eren beams, tucking her under his arm, "Good, I was scared there for a sec, I can't even remember the last time we used a condom and I don't really want to." Eren turns, almost as an afterthought, shooting Floch a cocky smirk over her head, "You know how it is Forster, sorry duty calls, anyway I'll see you next week in our econ class yeah?" Floch is nodding dumbly, and Mikasa absolutely preens over her shoulder at him, even more so when Eren goes for a very non-discrete ass grab, evidently feeling a little frisky now. "Bye Floch." He glares at her, mumbling darkly, "Bye Mikasa."

AHAHAH OMG I WROTE THIS FOREVER AGO AND FOUND IT IN MY DRAFTS SO I JUST HAD TO FINISH IT!! NOW THAT IM FINALLY FEELING INSPIRED LOL AND I LOVE IT IT'S SO FUNNY

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 7

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader

Chapter Warnings: Language | Smut

Word Count: 8.2k

Author Notes: 🤠. now I know y'all see the warning lmfao yes we are here 🤷🏾‍♀️. This is the longest chapter so far, which I think is deserved since it took me fifty'leven years to write 😭. This chapter was a bitch, and I am SO GLAD its over!!!

In the time I spent loligagging, I made a series playlist!!!! EXO's Let Me In is like the perfect theme song for both this chapter and the series in general I think. Its what inspired me to finish the chapter. Can't believe we're getting new exo in 2 weeks ❤️!!! They bout to do it again!!!

Also, question, has anyone noticed that Chanyeol has never said Yerim's name? No one has pointed it out and so this is me doing so 😂

This is my first time ever writing smut so I hope it's good. Our couple is still a mess lmfao but I'm still rooting for them and I hope you are too. ENJOYYYYY~ 😉 And I hope I never take this long to update again 😭

(And as always, if youd like to be tagged lmk!)

Chanyeol’s head snaps up in shock. “You just said yes, right?”

You nod reassuringly, fighting an amused smile. “Yeah. I’ll go.”

He studies your face for a moment, probably searching for any reluctance or doubt. You know there’s nothing of that to find, but you patiently stand there and let him figure it out on his own.

You know when he believes you, because a rather pleased grin lifts a corner of his mouth, revealing the cute dimple in his cheek. In the past, you’d poke it whenever it was in poking range. He’d always make a dramatic show of complaining everytime you did, but you knew he secretly loved it, the overgrown baby.

He draws you back to the present by turning around and leading you to his room, bouncing with each step. You follow tentatively behind, wondering what you just got yourself into.

Your heart races as he scans the key. The little click from the door unlocking sets off your nerves. He opens the door and motions you to enter first. You take a centering breath before crossing the threshold, but your shoulder ends up brushing against Chanyeol’s torso, and the contact ignites sparks of electricity to shoot throughout your body. Chanyeol shivers, as if he feels it too.

Once inside, you don’t really know what to do, so you just stand there. Chanyeol enters after you, walking past your frozen frame, making sure to avoid touching you again. The door closing behind you completely traps you inside, and the room quickly fills with a tension so thick you feel it weigh down your shoulders and lungs like humidity. Breathing becomes a struggle, only made more difficult as Chanyeol decides to pull off his jacket, tossing it over a chair. He starts rolling up the sleeves to his elbow and all you can do is watch, transfixed. Your mouth floods with saliva you can’t swallow back down quick enough, and you’re sure you’re going to start drooling from the show he’s putting on.  

“Are you just going to stand there?” He asks. It snaps you out of your hyper focused stare. You refocus, blinking up at him as if coming out of a daze. He gives you that same dimpled grin from earlier, and it’s enough to knock some sense back into you. He definitely knows what he’s doing.

You purse your lips, but finally bend down to take off your shoes, and lean against the wall by the door, trying to keep as much distance from Chanyeol as the small room allows. You put your hands behind your back, trapping them against the wall with the weight of your body in an attempt to keep them restrained to fight the urge to do something foolish–like reaching out to give into the long overdue temptation of tracing the veins bulging out his exposed arms. In your current situation–stuck in a hotel room with your ex fiance you’re not completely over–you can admit that you miss him. Dear God, you miss him so fucking much. If there is anything this wedding has shown you, anything the past couple days have proven, it’s that you can’t be left alone with him. You can’t escape your past. 

In need of a distraction, you take in Chanyeol’s suite as you slip out of your heels. Unlike Sehun’s and your rooms, Chanyeol’s is small. A standard kitchenette spreads across the right wall, with a dresser beside it, a flatscreen television hovering above it. The left wall has one door that you assume leads to the bathroom, a full length mirror beside it. The back wall, just like the rest of the suites, is made up of windows. A massive king sized bed takes up most of the room in the middle, the headrest leaning against the windows. His room is pretty much your sleeping quarters with a kitchenette in it. 

A silence fills the room as you take it in, still heavy, but not awkward. The tension building between you both has many layers. There’s the  tension of years of separation. You’ve missed so much of each other’s lives, so many milestones and stories you have to share and catch up on. But, that can’t be done until you address another source of tension–the hurt. You’ve both been hurt by the other, and there is nothing–not even friendship–until you unpack that pain. Unfortunately, the last layer of tension is the one you’re finding the most difficult to ignore, and that’s the attraction. Obviously, you still want the man before you. This weekend has tested you, and you failed–numerous times. And now that you are truly alone with him, you know it’s only a matter of time before you completely lose yourself in all the old feelings being near him brings. 

You’re still trying to avoid the man before you, finding his presence extremely overwhelming, but he makes it hard with the heat of his attention warming your cheeks.

Exasperated, you say, “can you stop that?”

“Stop what?” He asks in confusion, voice deeper than his usual bass–a clue to his inner thoughts.

“Staring,” you clarify, finally gaining enough courage to meet his gaze. He holds it, expression intense, reflecting the longing rolling off you in waves.

“I can’t help it,” he reveals. His voice is quiet, but strained, holding back what little control he has left. “I just… can’t believe you’re really here. That….” Now, he grows shy. He ends your staring contest, opting for the lush carpet instead as he tugs on his earlobe, face turning pink. “That you’re in my hotel room. I feel like I’ll blink and you’ll be gone.”

A gentle gasp leaves you, and you have to push harder against the wall in hopes the physical pain will give you some semblance of control, because his words have your resolve crumbling. He notices your stiff form and narrows his eyes. He misinterprets your guard, not realizing that it’s for his sake more than your own. Hurt colors his expression, assuming you want the distance between you both. 

“I won’t keep you for long,” he says, voice dejected. “I just….”

“Just what?” You ask.

“Wanted to apologize. For last night.”

“You remember?” You ask skeptically. He was really drunk and, well, a lot happened in a short amount of time. A lot that definitely needed to be unpacked if you wanted to move on… or forward, or whatever it was you wanted out of this interaction. As of this moment, you aren’t sure. Closure, you suppose. Yeah, being able to say everything on your chest, and being able to understand the choices Chanyeol has made since the break up.

“Trust me, the boys refused to let me forget.” he grumbles. That brings out a rare chuckle from you. They really are Team You, and are incredibly insufferable about it. You can only imagine the things Sehun said to him. You should probably add that to your list of things to apologize for.

“I don’t remember everything,” he says. “But they let me know I made a complete fool of myself. and that I…. That I kissed you?”

The tips of his yoda ears turn an endearing shade of red, letting you know that he’s embarrassed of his actions from the night before. You can’t help but wonder if he knows what he said to you. If he can recall begging you to take him back.

You nod in confirmation and he winces. The red in his ears drag down to his neck.

“I crossed a line. You’ve been very clear on where you stand when it comes to us and I ignored that. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Very clear, huh? You aren’t sure yourself where you stand, but it’s obvious Chanyeol has misread a few things if he thinks he knows how you feel about him. Cause right now? Right now, disappointment floods you at the thought of him redrawing that damn line in the sand. Especially since he thinks he’s doing it on your behalf.

It’s a way out, a way to keep things at the distance you’re at now, but you have to be honest–to the both of you.

“Yesterday,” you start. “You told me you were using Yerim as a way to stay away from me.”

He turns away in shame.

“The truth is, so was I.”

He turns back to you in shock, and his whole body visibly zeros in on you with laser focus, not wanting to miss anything that leaves your mouth.

It has your skin prickling,  but it’s not unwelcoming.

“Because the moment you were back in my life it was like you never left, and that terrified me. It still does. It feels wrong.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just takes you in, digesting your words, comparing them to the facts he has deduced for himself.

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts, which all seem so silly now. “I don’t know. I’m overwhelmed, I think. With the wedding, seeing you again, hurting Yerim… it’s been a lot.”

A lump starts growing in your throat, and you really don’t want to bawl in front of your ex, but it looks like that’s where you’re headed.

“It’s been hard for me too,” he shares, reciprocating your honesty. “And seeing you today? It nearly killed me.”

“I’m so sorry, Chanyeol,” you push past the thickening ball of tears. And you mean it. Even though you can say that he has made choices that have left you just as broken as yours have made him, there is no denying that you are the catalyst of those decisions. That’s why you fought so hard to not be affected by him bringing Yerim, why you reigned your friends in whenever they started ganging up on him. You know you’re just as much of a villain as you are a victim.

His jaw works. “I was in a wedding, but it wasn’t mine, and you were right there! It felt like the sickest form of torture. Afterwards, I only felt empty, like something was missing and…I’m scared it’s gone forever.”

He takes in the room, as if he’s searching for that piece he’s lost. and he looks just like he did when you first saw him today. You see the despair he feels, the regret, the crushing weight of finality. He’s coming to terms with this reality of his, coming to terms with the fact that he’s lost you for good.

He’s misread you again.

You’re still conflicted, but what you know for sure is that you hate his expression, hate seeing him in any kind of pain. Needing to soothe his suffering, you admit more of your truths, trying to get him to see exactly where you’re at. “I had to leave the reception early because I couldn’t watch them any longer.”

Your voice brings Chanyeol back, melting most of the misery off his face. A wave of relief washes over you and urges you to continue. “I tried, I really did. I wanted to be just as excited as everyone else was, but it seemed the more I wanted to make myself feel joy, the more miserable I felt. I didn’t want to ruin this moment for Junmyeon and the others, so I left. My plan was to just mope in my room, but then you were in the elevator with me, and I realized….” You take a deep encouraging breath and close your eyes before confessing, “I realized I didn’t want to be alone after all.”

The silence comes back, but it’s a bit louder this time with your admission hovering between you. 

You’re dying to see his reaction to your words, but you’re too embarrassed to check. 

You’re not sure how much time passes, but it feels like an eternity when Chanyeol finally speaks. “So, you do feel the same way. I wondered…. Thought I was the only one who felt this…this bitterness.”

His choice of words has your head snapping up in surprise. It’s now that you realize the real reason why you took up Chanyeol’s invitation, why once in his presence you didn’t want to be alone anymore. You came here for comfort. You know that he is the only person who completely understands what you’ve been going through mentally since getting that cursed invitation. You briefly wonder if this is right. If it’s okay to run into the arms of the man whose heart you broke, because it’s a heartache you share. You both understand each other’s pain. It’s a comforting revelation to you, but you’re not sure if it is to him.

All the same, you’re going to relish in it.

“I feel it too,” you reveal. “That could’ve been us, Chanyeol.”

“That should’ve been us,” he corrects.

 And then he’s taking a step towards you.

“But I got cold feet,” you admit, hoping that will stop his advances.

It doesn’t sway him. He takes another step. “You did.”

“And then you took back the ring.”

His face pinches. Still, he takes yet another step. “I did.”

“And then you brought Yerim here,” you continue.

Another step. “And then you told me you hated me.”

Confusion washes over you at that, not remembering what he’s referencing. Although you can think of many reasons why you would tell him that. “I did?”

“You did.”

“Okay, but then you kissed me.”

He’s now a breath away, staring at your lips at the reminder of the intimate act, not an ounce of regret in his features. “I did.”

“And now we’re here,” you let out in a woosh.

“And now we’re here.”

You haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the problems plaguing your relationship. You have at least five questions for him, and you’re sure he has even more for you. Sehun was right, a talk needs to be had if you want to move forward, but your body has other plans. People always say it’s a battle between the heart and mind, but no one ever brings up the body’s plight. Your body yearns for his. The close proximity is enough proof, with the way you instantly relax against the wall instead of pushing into it. Your hands are finally freed from their cage, falling at your sides.

Half of you, the more logical part of your brain, still wants to put up a fight. You know you should shove him away, create that distance in hopes to clear your mind. But, the truth is, you’re tired of fighting. You’ve been doing that all weekend; it’s exhausting and isn't working. You want to shut your brain off, want to just give into all your urges, and forget. You want to forget the pain of seeing Chanyeol with another woman, forget the way it broke your heart more than you thought it could break, forget your role in all of this. Actually, you want the opposite. You want to remember. Remember all the good times with Chanyeol. Remember everything about him that made you fall so deeply, that even after years of separation, you still haven’t been able to move on from him. 

So, no, you don’t want to fight anymore. Not tonight. You want him, you never stopped wanting him, and that’s a battle you’re willing to lose, especially with the way he seems to be silently urging you to give into the energy surrounding you.

You want to remember.

Chanyeol wants to as well, because he lifts one of his hands to cup the side of your face, thumb gently rubbing the plush of your bottom lip. You always seem to end up like this–asking for distance, yet closing it everytime.

The contact is as much familiar as it is foreign. He’s touched your face a couple times already during this trip, but this time it feels new, like it’s the first time he’s dared to.

His skin on yours throws you back into the past, back to before you ruined everything, when you both were unabashedly in love, and it wasn’t complicated.

He takes you in with wonder. “My Melody.”

My Melody. There it is. His nickname for you in its entirety. It’s so tenderly said, it only further pulls you deeper into nostalgia. You are the melody of his life–that’s what he always said, and that’s why he gave you the name. Even with just Mel, you understood the implications of the name, knew that you still had possession of his heart, no matter how hard you wanted to ignore it. You are his melody, always and forever.

The fire that has been idling within you explodes, becoming a forest fire and burning what little restraint you have left. You want to be his Melody, want to prove to him that you’re still deserving of the title. Damn near desperate, you wrap his tie around your fist and use it to yank him down and press your lips firmly against his.

He yelps in surprise, but is kissing you back with just as much fervor, sighing with the sweet relief of finally having you like this. He lets you pull his lips apart, sliding your tongue into the cavern of his mouth to prod his own. His hands grip your waist almost painfully as he tilts his head to the side to get better access. It doesn’t take long for him to overtake your dominance, shoving your tongue back into your mouth, with his right behind, needing to be inside of you, somehow someway.

A grunt leaves him, the noise putting every inch of your body on high alert. Your nipples stiffen and a warm pool gathers in your panties. The need to have him closer, closer grows stronger with every sound that leaves his sinful lips.

If there is one thing Chanyeol hasn’t seemed to forget, it’s the effect he has on your body. As if to prove just how in sync you are, he cups the back of your knees and lifts you up so that you can wrap your legs around his narrow hips. He pushes you roughly against the wall, using his body to hold you up. Fingers crawl from your knees, up the sides of your thighs, and slither underneath your dress. He stops before he hits your hips, curling his fingers into claws to rack his nails back down the trail they just took, leaving pink lines in their wake. Your head falls back from the dull pain, enjoying it just as much as the pleasure. Chanyeol rewards you with wet messy kisses to the column of your exposed neck.

“Fuck,” he growls against your warm skin. The sound does wonders to your nether regions. You shiver, getting lost in the feeling of your chest rubbing against his with every uneven breath you both take. 

“Missed you so much, My Melody.” Chanyeol groans. “I need to show you. Please, let me show you how much.”

“Yes,” you whimper, tugging at his hair in an attempt to pull him back to your mouth. “Fuck, Chanyeol, yes.”

His lips meet yours again, but this time they’re short, almost playful, pecks. 

His hands run over the land of your body, reacquainting himself with you. His inquisitive fingers discover the zipper at the back of your dress, and he plays with it.

“May I?” He asks, voice now deepened with desire. It takes everything in you not to just tear every article of clothing separating the two of you.

Instead, you settle on a whimpering, “please.”

He smiles into your mouth and takes hold of the zipper, pulling it down at a painstakingly slow pace. Your beautiful gown falls off your shoulders, but you don’t break the kiss or make any move to help him remove it until he has it unzipped completely.

It’s only when he has it zipped as far as it will go that you finally pull away, giving him a full view. He’s already staring at your chest, licking his lips in anticipation. A swell of pride fills you, knowing that you are the reason for the hungry expression on his face. Eager to please him, you shimmy your shoulders, the action causing the fabric to slide off and gather at your lap, exposing your top half fully to him.

“No bra?” He finally breathes after taking a moment to appraise you, transfixed. 

“You couldn’t tell?”

His eyes flicker up to your face in a heatless glare, gaining a victorious smirk from you.

“I was a bit preoccupied by your tongue, I fear.”

“Well,” you lean your face closer to his. “Don’t make that mistake again.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He matches your wicked grin before–not breaking eye contact–placing a tender kiss to one of your breasts. You bite your lip at the sensation, fighting the urge to moan. He leaves another kiss to your other breast before sucking the nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls around the nub. Your head falls back again, hips circling with want. 

A hiss leaves your swollen mouth as he scrapes his teeth over your rigid nipple, apologizing for the pain with a kitty lick. Never one to play favorites, he cups the other breast not currently in his mouth, rolling your erect nub between his thumb and forefinger.

You poke out your chest for Chanyeol to devour, and dig the heels of your feet into the base of his back, needing to feel the pressure of his want for you against your building heat. You both seem to like that, if your matching moans are any indication. He switches breasts, sucking the other one into his mouth. You cradle the back of his head, holding him against your chest, closing your eyes as you succumb to the pleasure only he’s able to give you properly. As if to confirm this, Chanyeol slips a hand into your dress, over the band of your underwear, to caress the heat between your legs. You jerk in surprise, gasping at the sensation. His answering chuckle is dark, a warning of what is to come.

“So eager,” he murmurs, dripping lips tickling your slippery chest. “So wet. I’ve barely touched you and can tell. Did you miss me that much, Melody?”

Slightly embarrassed, you want to order him to shut up, but the truth is that you did miss him that much, and are damn near desperate to have him fill you up. 

“Don’t tease me,” you beg in a needy breath.

“But I’m so good at it.” He grins against your neck, back to giving sloppy kisses.

“Two can play that game,” you warn before grinding against his growing hard-on. He sharply inhales and is quick to put a stop to it, hands going to your hips, halting your actions. You groan in frustration, needing to get off.

“No.” His voice is shaky with barely contained control. He pulls back, giving you a steady look. “Tonight is all about you.”

You want to ask what the hell he means by that, but then he’s wrapping his arm around your waist and carrying you over to the bed, dropping to his knees on the floor so that you’re able to sit on the edge of the mattress. Your dress is bunched up to your mid-thigh, and Chanyeol takes advantage of that, pulling one of your legs up to rest your calf on his shoulder. He places a tender, lingering kiss right above your knee and gathers the end of your dress, rolling it up to bunch it in his hands at your waist. With every new inch of skin he exposes, he leaves another tender kiss upon your flesh. The sensation has your breath trembling.

Once his lips touch the joint of your hip and thigh, right beside the place you want him most, he yanks your dress back down, dragging your panties down with it.

You don’t even realize what he has done until you feel his breath at your now exposed cunt.

“Wait–”

He doesn’t give you enough time to process what is happening before he’s licking a swipe up your center. The feeling of his tongue causes you to gasp so loud, you wince at the sound of your own voice bouncing off the walls.

Chanyeol’s eyes roll to the back of his head as the taste of you coats his tongue. “My memory hasn’t done you justice. You taste so fucking good, Mel. I need more.”

He holds your hips down and dives in for more. You moan and fall back, hands gripping the bed sheets for dear life as Chanyeol proceeds to eat you out like a man starved.

He gives your clit a quick suck and you cry out, hips jerking as the bundle of nerves are activated.

“Oh.” He chuckles to himself. “How could I forget? That always gets you, huh, Baby?”

“Ch–Ch….” You can’t even speak.  You knot one of your hands into his hair. Despite the vice of your grip, you make sure to gently pull his head back to where he was, to finish what he fucking started. 

“Didn’t think you’d give in this quickly,” he murmurs, ignoring your increasingly aggressive pulls as he places a tender kiss onto your swollen clit. You gasp, tender as all hell. “I thought you moved on already? Why you begging me, Baby?”

“Don’t be an ass—" Your sentence turns into a gasped moan as he runs his tongue up your core, briefly slipping his tongue into your hole shutting you up quickly. You tilt your head back, so that you’re staring blankly at the headboard, being transported to a different dimension.

“Please,” is all you can say, desperate enough that you forget Chanyeol’s teasing words, begging as much as you need to get what you need.

“Of course, my love.” He’s so quick to please. “But, you have to watch me make you cum.”

It takes you a moment to gather yourself, but you’re able to pull yourself up by the elbows. As soon as you catch the vast darkness that has become of Chanyeol’s eyes, you feel a fresh batch of arousal pool at your entrance. Chanyeol instantly notices, what with his tongue inside you. He moans in delight, his unwavering gaze flaring with determination.

The vibration of his deep baritone is almost enough to unlock your orgasm. Your mouth falls open, struggling to take in oxygen. Your chest heaves, sweat coating your body in a sheer layer, all signs of an impending explosion.

Both your legs now rest on Chanyeol’s shoulders, and he takes advantage of it, running his hands up and down the face of your thighs as he gives your clit quick teasing sucks. Despite wanting to watch you watch him make you cum, he can’t help but break eye contact, closing his eyes in indulgence as he loses himself in you. 

It’s fucking hot, the pleasure getting you off gives him. He once told you how he could spend hours with his head between your legs, and you know from experience how true that statement is.

Finally, he latches onto your bud completely, and his eyes fly open. It’s his finishing act, and he doesn’t want to miss a moment of you coming undone above him. He sucks hard and relentlessly, humming loudly to get vibrations to tingle and activate your nerves.

You curse. Hands again curling around the poor sheets as your body stiffens, almost painfully, as your orgasm builds, builds, builds. Chanyeol watches, unblinking, determined to see you come undone, and that is enough encouragement to have you combust.

With a loud yell of his name, you come. Your hips roll uncontrollably, and Chanyeol matches them, lips never leaving your center. He rides your wave with you, refusing to let go until you’re at your limit.

Black dots start to obstruct your vision, and you think you might pass out if he doesn’t get off of you, so you tap his shoulder quickly. He understands immediately, and unlatches himself from you with a loud pop, allowing you a respite. He can’t resist giving in one more time, placing a brisk kiss to your entrance, which causes your hips to jerk from the overstimulation. Once he’s retracted himself fully, you go limp, heaving as you try to catch your breath. 

“Fuck,” is all you’re able to get out, wiping sweat off your forehead.

You check on Chanyeol and catch him watching you, biting his lip in an attempt to hide—and fail—his prideful grin. “Oh, fuck off.”

He laughs at that.

“Are you done already, Mel?” He asks, deep voice teasing.

Half of you wants to say yes, to wave your white flag in surrender. This is the hardest you’ve cum in years, since the last time Chanyeol was in your bed.

He may be teasing, but you know that if you tell him that you are, in fact, fucked out now, he wouldn’t protest. You can see it now: he’d clean you up and curl up behind you. You’d feel his raging boner, but he’d assure you not to worry about it, kissing your bare shoulder as he throws the thin sheet under the davul over you both, lulling you to sleep. 

But that’s not how you want the night to end.

You want Chanyeol over you—in you. You want to see his face when he climaxes, watch the way he loses himself from the feel of you, and by the hope in his eyes, you know what he wants you to choose.

“Take off your pants and fuck me,” you order, voice already scratchy from overuse.

His lips curl dangerously. “That’s my girl.”

You expect him to follow your demand and strip, but he surprises you by spreading your legs apart, exposing your drenched private to him.

“What are you doing?” You question suspiciously, not really up for another round of his mouth. You are far too sensitive to go through that again.

“I have a feeling you’re not used to me anymore,” he murmurs. That cocky grin back on his face.

You scoff.

All humor leaves his form as he gazes down at you, and it makes you swallow back the snarky remark on your tongue. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

That vulnerability you saw during the wedding is back, aging him backwards. You know that he’s talking about more than just your long-neglected cunt, and that makes your throat thicken and burn.

“Is that okay?” He asks. You can only nod in confirmation.

His smile turns shy, and he’s glancing down at your core, fingers tickling your entrance. That shyness disappears completely when he slides his index finger into you. 

You shift uncomfortably, always having to adjust to having something inside of you. 

He swallows thickly, watching the way his finger glistens against the light ahead everytime he pulls it out in awe. He adds his thick middle finger into the mix and you gnaw on your bottom lip, legs widening, allowing him more access. Your cursed hips meet his slow thrusts on their own accord.

“You like that?” He asks, voice a whisper. Eyes flicker briefly to yours, catching the seductive way your eyelids hood over, and he curses under his breath. Your expression is enough of an answer for him.

“Kiss me,” you breathlessly demand. Without hesitation, he’s leaning over your shivering body to slot his lips between yours, honoring your request. The new position shoves his fingers deeper, caressing your g-spot, making you moan and groan into his mouth. He swallows each noise greedily, curling his fingers to enhance your pleasure. Your kisses are sloppy, your lips sliding off of each other with how wet they are. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it only makes you more wet.

“Undress me,” he orders into your mouth. His dominance makes you unconsciously clench around his fingers. He smiles, taking great pride in turning you on. You go for his tie again, deciding to discard it first. Sliding it off of him, you toss it quickly out of sight, knowing him well enough to know he’d use it later, and you don’t want to lose any of your senses tonight.

You’re still heavily making out as your hands go to unbutton his dress shirt. Once it’s open, he pulls both away and out of you long enough to yank the opposing fabric off, as well as the undershirt he has on underneath. Completely shirtless, he grabs your hips and tosses you further onto the mattress. You yelp as you’re airborne, landing onto the pile of pillows in a huff. He crawls over to you. Boldly, you observe him. His body is just as sculpted as it always was. Golden collar bones protrude so delicately, you want to sink your teeth into them. Honestly, his whole torso is untouched with any blemishes, and your mouth waters with the urge to disrupt that, to paint his empty canvas with hues of blues and purples and pinks and reds and yellows.

“Eyes up here.” His voice is right above you, closer than you are expecting, and you pull away from his chest, up to those big and bright eyes of his that shine with a mixture of humor and lust. A very alluring combination.

He grins boyishly at you before sinking three fingers slowly into you, filling you up so good you mewl, latching onto his shoulders to keep yourself from falling into the pile of pillows behind you.

The only thing that can be heard is the sound of his fingers entering and re-entering your wet pussy. If it wasn’t so damn pleasurable, you probably would find it in yourself to be embarrassed.

“You’re sucking me in,” he says in awe.  

“Because I want you, Yeol,” you whimper.

“You want me?” He repeats, like he doesn’t believe it. You find his skepticism a bit exasperating, since he has his fingers knuckles deep in you and what not. Part of you knows that you deserve his reluctance. His feelings haven’t really been in question. It’s always been you drawing the boundaries.

Now is the time to break them completely.

“So much.” You reassure, despite barely being able to speak. To further prove yourself, you run a palm over the bulge currently tightening his pants and he hisses, a shudder violently ransacking his frame. Encouraged, you undo his belt, unzip his pants, and pull them down until his dick springs out.  You haven’t seen many penises in your life, but Chanyeol’s is the only one that you have ever deemed beautiful. Everything about it is perfect. Perfect length, perfect girth, perfect shade of pink. Even the way the veins rain down to the base is lovely. The head locks its eye with you and you lean forward, giving into the urge to run your tongue flat over it, licking the pearl of precum sitting precariously on the slit.

He hums in satisfaction, hips unconsciously bucking forward, asking for more. 

You glance up at him, questioning what he wants you to do, but he gives you a quick shake of his head. The hand that’s not knuckles deep in you cups your chin, and he leans down, placing a sweet kiss unto your needy lips.

“I want your pussy more than your mouth right now.”

“God,” is all you can say. He smirks as he pulls away, drawing his hand out of you. You’re quick to snatch his wrist. He gives you a questioning look and now you’re the one to smirk as you bring his soaked fingers to your just as wet mouth, running your tongue along his middle finger before slipping it into your mouth, sucking it clean. You refuse to look away, moaning around his appendage. His mouth falls open at the feeling of you sucking on him. His dick is so close it brushes your arm every time it twitches from you hollowing your cheeks. Once his middle finger is clean, you move onto the others, giving them the same treatment. Chanyeol’s free hand wraps around his member, slowly milking it as he watches you intently with clenched jaws.

Finally, you suck all three fingers clean of your essence and release his index finger with a loud pop.

“Such a nasty girl,” he says, both amazed and turned on.

“You haven’t even seen the half of it, Sweetie.”

“Show me,” he urges.

Eager to please, you flip yourself over onto your hands and knees, poking your ass out to him like a cat in heat. You flip your hair to one side, peeking over your shoulder to see Chanyeol finally strip himself of the rest of his clothing, zeroed in on your drenched pussy, open and ready for him.

He strokes himself as he climbs behind you, preparing to enter you. 

Right as the head of his cock presses against you, he stops and falls back on his knees.

You groan in protest.

“I don’t have a condom,” he reveals, voice dripping in regret.

That’s enough to have you pausing. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“I didn’t plan on having sex during this trip.”

“That’s a relief, I guess,” you grumble. An awkward silence fills the air, neither one of you really knowing what to do now. But then you remember.

“It’s okay,” you reassure, reaching back to run your fingers delicately over the ridges of his stomach. It hardens under your touch, and his dick bounces, brushing against your folds, and you have to bite your lip to hold in a moan. “It really is. I’m on birth control. We’ll be fine.”

He’s still unsure, gazing down at you apologetically, so you lean back a bit, rubbing against the tip of his member. That’s enough to spur him on and he’s back on his knees, lining himself up with you. You shudder in anticipation as the head of his cock rubs against your throbbing entrance. 

“Relax, Baby,” Chanyeol coos. He lays his hand on your back, coaxing you to do as he says. You haven’t even realized how stiff you’ve gotten until you feel his palm. Under his hand, you let go, sink deeper into the mattress, arch your back out. It’s only then that he slowly pushes himself in.

You both groan in unison at the sensation.

When he’s about half way in, he pauses, giving you time to adjust. It stings a bit, and you’re grateful he’s able to read you well enough to know you need a moment. He’s a patient fellow, leaning down to drape himself over you and shower distracting kisses up and down your spine. His hands rub comforting circles on the bones of your hips before languidly trailing up your sides to massage your dangling breasts. You lean into his touch with a satisfied moan. The action has you slipping a few more inches of him deeper into your hot core.

A growl rips from his chest, teeth scraping against your shoulder blade, hands curl into claws at your chest, squeezing your tits so hard you yelp in pain.

“Sorry!” He apologizes in a breathless rush. “Sorry. I just–uuuugh fuck. Just give me a second.”

He goes completely still on top of you, the only thing moving is his chest as he struggles to regain control. 

That’s the last thing you want him to do. 

You want him to lose himself entirely in you. Want him to give in completely to his desires.

“Babe,” you call. 

He doesn’t answer.

You try again. “Yeol, you don’t have to hold back. I want you. I’m ready. Please.”

Your voice is a broken plea by the end and it seems to do the trick. It’s a struggle, but Chanyeol is able to straighten, hands gripping your hips for balance. With a guttural grunt, he snaps forward, shoving the rest of his dick fully inside of you. His thrust jolts you forward, and you fall face first into the pillows. Yes, god, yes. This is what you’ve been missing, this is what you have been so desperate for.

He curses under his breath in what you can only describe as a whine. “Needed you for so long.”

His strokes are aggressive and relentless. He uses your hips to impale you onto his dick over and over again at a hard and steady pace. He hits that spot every time he bottoms out, the head of his cock brushing against you in a way that’s got your eyes rolling and thighs shaking.

Suddenly, he pulls out of you and his name leaves your swollen mouth in whiny protest. He ignores you, simply wrapping his hands around your ankles to yank your legs out from under you, making you rest onto your stomach.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“What you asked,” he replies, giving your ass a quick smack before maneuvering himself around you. He shifts his legs, moving them so that they’re caging your own. The new position forces you to close your legs, pressing them firmly together. He falls forward, sinking all of his weight on top of you.

“Oh!” Now this is what you’re talking about.

“I thought so.” His voice is a growl in your ear. One of his arms goes around your neck like a necklace. Your head slots perfectly into the dip of his elbow, and you think it’s the perfect pillow. It’s a fleeting thought, what with him sliding his throbbing cock back into you, fucking you like he never stopped. The new angle is actually insane. With your legs closed, you feel even more full of him. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he uses his knees to make the bed bounce, the momentum of the mattress doing most of the work for him. The headlock he has you in adds just enough pressure to get you light headed, cutting your airflow, and adding to your pleasure. Your vision doubles and you’re sure your eyes are crossing, but you don’t even care how crazy you look right now, all that matters is the feeling of Park Chanyeol all in and around you. He whispers the nastiest things into your ear, letting you know how good you feel, how much he likes it, what it’s doing to him. His voice is as much an aphrodisiac as everything else, and with him using it to talk filthy like that, you’re not sure how much longer you will last.

He shoves his dick fully in you and keeps it there, rotating his hips to grind deeply into you. He’s right on your g-spot, the pressure makes your eyes flutter, mouth fall open, so lost in the sauce your brain is short circuiting.  

“I missed being buried inside of you,” He huffs into your ear. “Missed hearing the little noises you make.” His nose goes into your hair. “You take my dick so well, Baby.”

You’re a moaning mess underneath him, taken over by lust, and he can tell. Giving another one of his now signature chuckles, he licks the shell of your ear and blows on it, his unwavering hips still rolling deep into you. 

“I. Want,” you huff between strokes. “To. See. You. Yeol.”

You blink and you’re on your back. Lost in a daze, still stumbling to catch your bearings when his lips are sliding over yours. You gather yourself enough to match him, needy and desperate for more. His tongue sweeps over your lips and you whimper.

Hands cup your face, and he’s breaking off the kiss. A thick string of saliva dangles between you both as he pulls back, breaking off to fall onto your chin. He appraises you, taking in every centimeter of your face with an expression that’s got you dizzy and shaking.

He runs a thumb over your cheek. “I love you like this,” he whispers. “Utterly fucked out. Drunk off my dick–off of me. You’re the most beautiful when you’re a mess like this.”

You get hit with a wave of fondness. Feeling sentimental, you run the tips of your fingers over his jaw, smiling weakly. “Fuck me, Chanyeol.”

The adoration in your tone and expression and touch has Chanyeol chuckling, but he doesn’t deny you. He pulls one of your legs up to his hip, giving him access to enter you again. You’re so slick with arousal that it’s effortless at this point. You don’t think you’ve ever been this wet before, it slides down your buttcrack, coats the inside of your thighs and the patch of hair on Yeol’s pubic bone. It’s all his fault. Park Chanyeol is a sex god, and it’s been so long you forgot, but he is going to remind you right now.

This position is more intimate than the others and immediately you notice the difference. Both his hands and eyes stay on your face, refusing to look anywhere else as he begins to thrust into you at a pace some would probably deem too slow, but is perfect for you. It makes it so that you can feel him, and he can feel all of you in turn. You’re both breathing into each other’s mouths, but don’t kiss. You don’t speak either, the only sounds are heavy breathing and the slick sound of connected sex. Your stomach knots, and at first you assume it’s your next orgasm, but realize in terror that it’s something else entirely. No, it’s the awakening of an old feeling you haven’t felt in years. It builds quickly, overwhelming you with its urgency, smarting your eyes.

Chanyeol groans, finally breaking off the eye contact as his head falls into the crook of your neck. Again, he puts his full weight on you, and you wrap your arms and legs around him, dig your feet into his lower back, encouraging him to go deeper, to go faster. He obliges, and a moan falls from your mouth with every snap of his hips.

The new position brings his body to your attention, and that gorgeous neck of his that you’ve been eyeing since you first saw him is now the pick of the litter. You’re quick to latch onto his shoulder like a leech, sucking up the bone of his clavicles and base of his neck, anywhere your lips can reach. The sensation adds a bit more gas into the fire, making Chanyeol’s movements rougher.

“Mmm, don’t stop doing that,” he purrs. “I want everyone to know what we did tonight.” 

His words only make you suck harder and he swears under his breath, picking up speed.

The new speed is getting the job done.  You growl as you start to feel your actual orgasm bloom to life.

“I’m gonna cum,” you inform him in a breath, hands roaming his body, wandering down to squeeze his plump ass.

Hearing that only urges him to continue what he’s doing. God, he’s such a good listener. 

“That’s right, cum on my dick.” he encourages. “I need you to, Baby.”

He shudders, and you know he’s close as well. He dips his head to rest his forehead against yours, searching deep into your eyes.

“Come with me.”

You latch onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he rocks into you. You swear everytime he hits your spot he pierces your heart as well. Over and over, stroking at those dusty heartstrings of yours.

Orgasms are a lot like sneezes. Your chest heaves, mouth falling open to swallow as much oxygen as you can as you brace yourself for your release. Your fingers turn to claws against Chanyeol’s skin and he cries out. For a moment you think he beat you to the chase, but his thrusts are unrelenting. He refuses to break eye contact, taking you in with wonder, not wanting to miss a thing.

That sweet lost look on his face is what does it for you.

You cum hard. Your mind shuts off, overwhelmed with how good you feel as your orgasm hits you, running throughout your body in blissful waves.

“I love you!”

The phrase is thrown out into the room, startling you. It takes you a moment to realize it’s your voice confessing into the night. Tears pool and tumble down the corner of your eyes, pouring down your temples in hot trails. “God, Chanyeol, I love you!”

His thrusts grow sloppy, and then he’s spilling into you. Filling you up with hot bursts of his seed that nearly send you into another orgasm.

Then, he falls on top of you, exhausted, and it’s quiet as you both try to catch your breath. He kisses your tears away and you sniff, closing your eyes at the sweet gesture. Your orgasm takes all your energy with it, and your eyes grow increasingly heavy. It’s an effort to fight your lids. You can’t even move your body, it’s sunken into the sweaty sheets, becoming part of the mattress. 

Chanyeol pulls out of you and you let out a discontent whine, feeling his absence and not liking it. 

“I know, baby,” you think you hear him say, but it’s hard to concentrate on anything right now that’s not trying to stay awake. He gets off the bed. You attempt to speak, but can’t find the energy to move your lips, so your words come out in a discombobulated mumble. He replies, you hear him, but god bless you both, can’t understand a word of it.

The bed dips under Chanyeol’s returned weight and then your legs are being pulled apart and something warm and damp swipes between them. Chanyeol says something that you, again, miss, losing your battle against sleep.

Your eyes are closed by now so you just relax into the pillows and give into slumber….

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taglist @byunparklimchoi, @defloey @notyuji (if you don't want to be tagged lmk 😅)

[berrypass-de-murdler]

62. You Can Go Home Again

With my final design made, all that's left is 10 more for Fletch to draw. Home stretch until book 2 and the second Cartoonverse series!!

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico thinks about his life. Is detective work even worth pursuing if Irratino isn’t there? And don’t get me started on going back to Midnight. That stopped being an option a while ago. Logico could be… an insurance adjuster. Yeah! That sounds like the most depressing, lifeless job in existence. 

LOGICO: It’s perfect for me.

There’s a new job opening in town even - the old insurance adjuster was just murdered. LMFAO

Honey has resigned, Copper is losing her job slowly, and Crimson is starting to wonder if all the killings have put a dent in her career. There’s a new man named Mr. Ordinary Blue Sky, a man in a full astronaut suit and a giant blue mustache. 

BLUE SKY: Please, Please, Do Not Pay Attention to Me! I Have Absolutely No Secrets!

Logico does not care. He's willing to solve ONE MORE MURDER… before his DEATH… I mean his NEW JOB…

A brick flies through the wall of a building! Logico goes to investigate. It’s just Copper. She’s very, very drunk.

COPPER: POLICE! Give me your number… cuz baby I wanna call you tonight… get… TICKETS… y’know what I mean…

She falls over, barks twice, and burps, pink liquid spilling out of her mouth. She’s unconscious. Logico shakes his head. Honey is tossing around a fork. 

HONEY: I saw you SHAKIN’, and now I’m gonna have a SHAKE myself! 

The man is going to eat a milkshake with a fork - he needs to die. Crimson is standing in the used car lot. 

CRIMSON: They TOLD me this car wouldn’t explode… HEHEHEHEHEHE!!

Logico enters a small building that has nothing but a single light shining on a laptop with a pitch-black screen that reads in sans serif white text:

“A neighbor saw Mr. Ordinary Blue Sky with an aluminum pipe.”

LOGICO: 

Of course, since the other three were out doing stuff, the murderer was the new kid. 

BLUE SKY: Zis is Ridiculous! What Secret Could I Have? LOGICO: You are obviously none other than Cosmonaut Bluski himself. 

He tears off the mustache. Everyone gasps! Even though his suit looks EXACTLY THE SAME as it usually does...

BLUSKI: I just wanted to live as a regular American… 

Everyone awws. 

BLUSKI: So I could crush you from within!

Everyone boos.

Turns out Honey just wanted to stab some people for cash, and Crimson…?

CRIMSON: A PERSON SAID THAT I WAS… [hhhhh] BAD!!! So I’m standing by a car… and I’m going to EXPLODE them when they walk BY!... 

Logico doesn’t even want the new job anymore. He’ll never get revenge if he gives up.

The end!

Have Azure and Aubergine fighting over who gets to keep Umber.

SOCIOWOGIST UMBAH

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

FR it’s actually crazy where are the itoshi non enjoyers at…im crying is your latest reblog also in ref to him bc if so you’re so real

REAL the lives are all connected the multiverse just is like that yk (pause yuki protag and he regains his past memories that kinda cooks) LMAOO because he would be so hyped like “oh yeah im that man the super cool ninja ladies love me fish (idk what equivalent would go here) fear me”

SIBLING GOALS PLEASEEEE LMFAOO king of kalos yuki…its giving insane aura

No because im just hella paranoid LMAO fortunately tumblr seems a lot chiller than other platforms but SHSJSB THANK YOUUU even a a tumbler inactive acc I’ll be the number one Mira defender o7 call me Oliver aiku the way I defend LMAOO ok Twitter is actually insane like INSANE insane I fr only use it because some official accounts like to update there and there’s also some really nice art there but other than that absolutely 0 interacting because that’s like reddits younger sibling

LMFAO no actually Nagiy/n just gatekeeping the love sorry only room for one couple!!! /j but so real it adds depth to the whole world if people don’t get that they can leave!! IM CRYING nagi outing Reo like that is so funny

It’s like Isagis the angel and aikus the devil of the little consciousnesses consultants (bro what are they referred as ykwim like when they pop up on your shoulders) LMFAOAOAOAIAH THE BIKE LINE IM CRYINGGFGG stop that bright back so many memories I can’t

Your brain working so hard it’s foreshadowing for you LMAOO before I even read I was already thinking “I bet he’d be annoying af but eventually their daughter warms up to bug boy and they fall in love” HAHA wait why is he lowk giving igaguri vibes though….like not for igaguri to be inserted in as him but just purely on a vibe comparison standpoint….(grandfather nagi he alr acts like one NOW /j)

I was fr laughing so hard imagining that like it’s a classic poorly drawn picture done from like five colors of crayon but because of Barou gyarados and defeated Mr Mikage it’s almost 75% red LMFAO THE TEACHER PLAYING CPS IS CRAZY and she finds out like “wait your the former champions kid??????” OOOOH OMG no wait they have their son and readers like “omg he reminds me sm of my cousin…maybe this is a sign he’s always with me” BYE I started at new kiyora so long I forgot what s1 kiyora looked like LMAOO I see the vision!! It’s even funnier when you think about how Nagi and kiyora beef with each other now LOL

AHAHAA guys so im actually reader like ACTUALLY now /j this’ll be a very immersive read but LMAO on the flip side imagine reader also just trying to catch some random pokemon and for whatever reason she’s separated and just not with her own pokemon (idk maybe she’s setting up their campsite so everyone left to gather supplies or train or whatever so she’s just alone with all their traveling stuff) and some pokemon pops up that she wants so she just eats through Karasu’s entire quick ball stash and eventually catches it on like the last ball and Karasu comes back like “BRO WTF” LMAOA ok but another tally for a Karasu L HAHA first it was hioris ducklett now it’s the quick balls (maybe yayoi made fun of him before in a sibling way like this is why I’m gym leader not you cuz you suck)

AHAHA dumbass x dumbass power of friendship imagine his abomasnow also has a bunch of moves that inflict confusion on itself LMAOO or it’s just general super susceptible to anything that might inflict that status because it’s already confused 24/7 but WAITTTT this should just be a real series atp THE OVAS fr just have an entire expansion of the verse we all cheered if you have the time/motivation PLEASE MAKE THE OVAS wait this is Lowk becoming orv orv also has side stories (i haven’t read them oops) wait im laughing imagine hiori in a full safari zone fit BUT why not combine both ideas…hioris pokemon have a dispute INSIDE the safari zone LMAOO maybe he goes in to settle a dispute in there and while he does that his pokemon have to wait outside to which they start throwing hands (probably swanna starting it like we should go in and look after him and protect him from the pokemon inside or sth and they can’t figure out who they should send in to follow since a full team of 6 is too inconspicuous and then that just spirals into plain old fighting) WAIT I WANT A TABIEITA DUMBASS EPISODE does this warrant another notion folder (idk how notion works so I hope ykwim)

BAROU VERSION IN THW WORKS WOOHOOOO YES NIKO INTRO homeboy Niko coming in clutch, as aiku would say LMAO

HSGDJSS guys why’d she phrase that like peregrine and hollyhock are already dead….guys??? Ok but it’s ok someday I trust it’ll come into existence!! Speaking of did you end up deciding what you’re doing for the event?

Barou would truly appreciate the graphics “thanks for honoring my death maybe you’re not a donkey” LMFAOOEO sorry I’m having too much fun with this au and I’m not even the one writing it

BLLKS2 TRAILER!!! YES I DAW bruh the up close and personal screen of shirtless sae sends me but LOWK THE CHARACTERS LOOK PRETTY GOOD FOR THE MOST PART?? Omg Karasu our man got his justice!!! I agree I love how he looks!! Glow up from some of his initial manga panels LMAO I’ll admit the cgi somehow looks even more cgid (specifically the zoom in on Isagis feet with hiori in the back) and some animation sections feel very screenshot additional time-esque but WHATEVER (they also looked really oiled up in that one top6 shot like why are they sparkling like that) like you said s1 wasn’t unwatchable but some parts of the trailer feel even choppier, specifically with the lip syncing? Like when Nanase talks and when Rin and Shidou are beefing it’s giving like Pac-Man ass mouth but I’ll live with it the Karasu moments are saving me (the last shot of otoya in the trailer where he’s staring into our souls has me rolling though he kinda looks like he’s ON something but it’s ok) WE’LL LIVE

STOP NOT THE YOTD NAME DROP IM CRYING but FR!!! At least we have content and I bet for panels it really matters it’ll look fire! The way they did otoyas aura was kinda cool too!! But THATS WHAT IM SAYING where’s all the money they’re raking in going?? Like what….i kinda wish they’d splurge and go with a bigger studio but maybe they’re contractually bound to eightbit ugh but im sooo excited for s2!!!!! Maybe after this s2 they’ll finally put their eightbitussy into it

Im still kinda losing it over the fact that it’s 14 eps though? I’ve seen some people speculating saying maybe they’re doing another two cour division and it’s just for cour 1 but we’ll see….if it’s just 14 eps of super crunchy quality I won’t be as ecstatic though LOL but I think there’s also a chance they’ll refine it before release? Because actually the end credits scene for epinagi got refined in the Amazon prime release iirc so they gave Karasu and hiori a glow up (that locker room scene) and they look a lot less crunchy so manifesting…

- Karasu anon

YESSS IT WAS ABOUT SAE DHKSDKSJS i’d drop a piano on him in every life 🥲🙂‍↕️ nah because the itoshis occupy the same space as nanami jjk in my mind like i can see where the appeal comes from but they need to be humbled so i must hate

pursuit otoya def has a hat (he probably got it from karasu let’s be real) that just says “women want me magikarp fear me” but then reader’s magikarp loves him and no women want him thereby proving the hat completely wrong 😭

nah because king of kalos yuki…i need him tbh…he’s another one (kinda like reader when she retires) where he had to give up battling for personal issues so nobody’s ever beaten him in an ACTUAL league battle either 🤩 like lowkey bro could’ve been champion too the world will never know!! so he def commands insane respect (makes tabieita slandering him even funnier like do y’all know who you’re talking to rn)

all of my mutuals post relevant twitter screenshots so i get it secondhand HAHA avoiding the bad and receiving the good 😏 agreed it has mega reddit vibes for sure i’m scared of it…PLS you are the aiku of this verse we love to see it

imagine nagiy/n dueling tullireo “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us” FJSKDJJS real talk though i agree when a story is this long it’s impossible not to have background dynamics going on!! it adds to the fun anyways people who don’t get it just will have to miss out ig!! PLSS nagi has 0 chill he does not gaf he’ll out anyone…imagine reader asks reo for recommendations afterwards or smth LMAOOO he’s like how did you know you don’t even have any psychic types and she’s like uhhh my aegislash?? which is technically correct but from then on reo is super paranoid around aegislash because thinks it can read his mind 😭

HAHAHA wait shoulder angel/shoulder devil isagi/aiku goes so hard (consciousness consultants is cracking me up) their dynamic is so funny…wait this means aiku HAS to know barou in the past ☝🏻 maybe since he’s the one who gives reader her keystone after seeing her houndoom with its houndoominite he’s like “i knew this asshole with a houndoom who also had houndoominite what a coincidence” and reader’s like “not really that’s barou we’re related” and aiku’s like???

okay lowkey i was thinking niko but igaguri fits so well i’m crying 😭 pursuit sequel where it’s an igaguri x reader and we’re nagiy/n’s daughter real and true (new it trio reader + igaguri + kurona) /j ofc HAHAH but fr i think it would be so cute imagine her bringing him to meet nagi and reader and reader’s just like “i’m so proud of you for continuing the ‘dating losers’ trend in the family” and nagi’s like “yup 👍” because he’s accepted he’s a loser atp LMAOO omg nagi would def be that grandfather that lets you get away with whatever when he’s babysitting you and gives you like caramel candies or smth KFCJSJKS PLSS him sitting on a porch in an ugly ass sweater (from when reader or reo attempted knitting and used him as a guinea pig) in a rocking chair with tea i’m crying

sometimes a family is a man, his wife, his best friend’s father who his wife destroyed in battle, his wife’s vaguely homicidal hellhound, and his wife’s cousin watching over them disapprovingly from heaven 🥹❤️ i hope you like mr mikage’s mustache and barou’s hair i worked hard on them /j LMAOAAOAOO anyways i was crying making this i hope you appreciate it (also the ribbon on houndoom is because her mega stone is tied on her neck with a ribbon by barou when he gives her to reader but obviously nagiy/n’s child exaggerates things and yassifies houndoom to the max…the teacher pulls up expecting some cute weak little puppy pokémon and is met with THE houndoom who killed the leader of team x himself i bet she pisses her pants)

HAHAHA I LOVEEE GIVING KARASU L’S he truly cannot win…okay wait that’s so pokémon anime coded her using all of karasu’s quick balls to catch her phanpy and karasu comes back and is like um?? so he makes reader repay him but she doesn’t have that much money and she has to go around battling random people for enough cash and that’s how she gets to know phanpy LFJDJSJFH karasu’s gentle parenting at its finest he’s like “i hope you learned an important lesson today 😐” and she’s like “yeah apparently my phanpy knows rollout 😄” karasu just gives up atp 😭

ZANTETSU WITH A PERPETUALLY CONFUSED ABOMASNOW IS SOOO FUNNY TO ME AND SO CANON!! lowkey the side stories would be so fun especially because we could show more characters like zantetsu who don’t appear in the main story…maybe yuki taking his pokémon to aryu to get groomed or smth 🤔 PLSS THE HIORI IDEA I’M CACKLING 😭 imagine the tabieita ova is just otoya trying to teach karasu how to rizz girls up but he keeps getting rejected so karasu’s like bro you suck let me try and he gets a date on the first try FHDJDJSJ omg or we could have one of yayoi and karasu as kids…i had an idea for an otoya one but tumblr deleted half of my response for some reason?? like i had literally responded to your ENTIRE ask and just went to look something up and when i came back tumblr was like lol fuck you redo the entire thing 😰 WAIT possibly the same otoya one or maybe a diff one but just an ova of him being a chris prince stan and trying to follow the chris prince regimen ™️ but his muscles give out and his pokémon are like HELL NO or it’s like him just buying chris prince merch for an entire chapter 😭 or a tullia and loki ova when they go on a date and it’s just tullia being like “huh i wonder what reo’s doing rn…hold on why do i gaf…” (sneaking in the tullireo agenda as always) LMAOAOA NO FR i never read the side stories either but this is literally orv pokémon edition like maybe we WILL reach that 1.5 million word count /hj

AIKU IS VILLAINOUS IN THE BAROU VERSION HE’S SLANDERING EVERYONEEE so far lorenzo, barou, and niko have caught strays his inner monologue is cracking me up though 😭 fr homeboy niko ALWAYS comes through for the gang we love him!! aiku would be nothing without him

NOOO THEY’RE NOT DEAD DEAD i’m just pursuit brain rotted so once i get more of the oaeu and requests out i’m going to work on that for a while!! HAHA dw i’m having sm fun with it too it’s such an entertaining au with so many possibilities!! PLEASEEE barou’s like ok i guess it’s acceptable because it’s aesthetic you get a pass this time 😒

SADLY NOOO NO IDEAS YET actually ykw a pokémon theme would be really fun and in character atm!! i’d have to think of how to go about it but that is def one option (it’s coming up too AHH so i have to get to cooking for real!!)

agreed it’s not as awful as people are making it out to be!! a lot of the trailer was still frames too so it just looks choppier because it’s not an entire scene in motion yk…the budget is apparently higher than s1 so i doubt it’ll be worse than s1 if anything it’ll just be the same!! AND KARASU LOOKED SOOO GOOD THEY DID HIM JUSTICE i can’t wait to see him in action…i will forever mourn the thought of him with jet black hair and pretty violet eyes though 😩 purple/black karasu you will live on in our memories/99% of fanarts + colorings 😭 i feel like the blue falls a bit flat like he’s kind of just giving “isagi’s sexy cousin” atm HAHAHAHA but it’s all good he’s fine either way!! tbh yk me i’m just waiting for s2 for the edits anyways and if editors can make fire stuff out of manga panels they’ll def cook with whatever the anime gives us!!

speaking of edits do you know those tik tok sounds with the usa eagle screech i NEED people to start editing karasu with it because yk bird LMAOAAOOA JUST IMAGINEEE i don’t think he gets a bird aura panel until NEL (this is what i went to look up when tumblr glitched out for you to get a sense of how far i got) but i am investing i need people to get to WORK idk how no one has seen the vision yet!!

hmm i think if it’s only 14 eps they’ll definitely either go crazy or they’ll do two cours 🤔 tbh more content is more content i’m just hype to see my boys back on screen 🤩 the animators always yassify nagi so i’m chilling because there’s a high chance he’ll look good for the most part JFKSK i’m worried they might mess up barou because they seem to be allergic to him slaying but i still have faith!! ACTUALLY YKW i’m waiting for everyone to crawl out of the woodwork remembering how much they like nagi once they’re reminded of how cool he is…like NUH UH go back to the kaiser glazing hole you scrabbled out of leave nagi ALONE i have been here through everyone slandering him he’s MINEEEEEEEE (insert wolf ripping its shirt open meme) /j

anyways if it seems like i missed anything i’m sorry tumblr hates me so i probably thought i responded and didn’t LMAOAOA i think my og response was more fleshed out but alas…😓💔

[robiinurheart33]

Thanks for the tag @sergeantwoods !! I went a little crazy on the questions lols,,,

1. how many works?

Honestly no idea lmao (if ur talking on ao3, I don’t have an account there, but I’ve been thinking about it.) (14 wips atm)

2. Total word count?

Again, no idea LOL! My actual works have been around 1K ish per post? So id say in total maybee 10k?

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, COD. I wanna expand more soon though, so stay tuned in the far, far future

4. top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m gonna list down my fav fics of all time (multi fandom) if im reading this correctly

1. Anything by buzzcut_season really. Their writing is spectacular and made my heart clench on so many occasions. My personal GOD of writing fluff. And the person that got me through the hells of teenage puberty.(for the record, i am still in puberty lmfao) my firsts in the tag tooth-rotting fluff and the magics of slow burn. (Sk8 the Infinity)

2. Neon Void by sugarpastels. The creator is here on Tumblr with the same user so if you wanna check her out go ahead!! FANTASTIC writing, villain Leo au with heart pounding scenes that leave me dizzy. A fic has never made me breathless and needing to pace around my room more than this one (special shoutout to her sister as well who is writing a mutant mayhem fic that unfortunately didn’t get added to the list but is still super well written!!) (ROTTMNT)

3. Anytime You Need Me by thirteenbullets. I really don’t need to elaborate more. Character analysis + fluff + non sexual intimacy + long fics… it’s the perfect series for me. I felt like a stuck gold when i read this. (COD)

4. The Eldest Brother by dEBB987. Classic 2012 x 2018 crossover, but it doesn’t have ooc and is just such. A. Fun. Read. Made me giggle and kick my legs more than one occasion and good family feels all around. (TMNT)

5. Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis by a_platypus. Old Leo comes back to the past after the events of the movie to readjust to new life. The right amount of drama with the perfect amount of slice of life. This fic actually gives the old turtle a break but also not letting go of the teenage angst and everything that comes with seeing your dead friends young and alive again. Would have been higher on the list but it’s not completed sadly. The author does write for COD as well though, and it’s worth to check it out! (ROTTMNT)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I love love love it when people comment and try to interact if possible.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the panic attack Ghost fic. Haven’t written much angst if im remembering correctly. I’m a major fluff person

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god i really haven’t written a proper fic at all helps. I’m frantically swiping through my robs ramblings tag and just realising most of the ghoap stuff i write is about their undying dedication to each other. Jesus. Happiest ending is probably one of my blurbs cause every time i try to write actual fluff i overheat and explode.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. do you write smut?

Nah. I don’t think ill ever write smut honestly not because im asexual its just that I don’t think I can write one accurately if that makes sense. Also im a minor I don’t think im allowed to do that

10. craziest crossover?

None yet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully not, but if i have i would take it as a sign that I’ve made it as a writer. Unless it’s more popular than the actual post in that case burn it with fire.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Unfortunately and fortunately no. I would LOVE to collaborate, don’t get me wrong. But i would get so anxious about not disappointing the other person or procrastinating and motivation and all the works and just. Yeah I don’t have the mental capacity for that rn.

14. all time favourite ship?

Ooooooh

ghoap, renga, ineffable husbands, solangelo (Off the top of my head rn)

15. what’s a wip that you want to finish but doubt you will?

THE SECOND PART TO DRUNK SOAP. OH MY GOD I NEED TO GET IT DONE ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS

16. what are your writing strengths?

I would say making everything just too dramatic and emotional

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. I can barely talk irl how am i supposed to write witty banter

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it. As a bilingual myself i love seeing diff languages it’s like a bonus secret for that language user

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. That was when i was in my “i think this is so cringy of me and i hold myself back because of it” because wow. I reread some of it recently and it’s horrible it will stay and rot in my notes app. Although i will say it’s so nice to see how far I’ve come in terms of writing and just posting publicly in general

20. favourite fic you’ve written?

The drunk soap one and the Ghoap one where they’re on stakeout together. I didn’t like the second one initially, but i think slaving over it worked. I love how I managed to balance the quietness and mutual respect and fondness of each other.

If you couldn’t tell, i had a lot of fun answering these questions haha

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!! You know more about me than the average online follower 👏👏👏