#yeah i have a few types

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Hc that Celebrian knew from before they were born which of her children would choose mortality.

From what I remember, Elven mothers have insight to their child’s life pre birth. Thing Miriel telling Finwë not to blame her for the deeds Fëanor will go on to commit. Think even the names that are chosen, and how the mother names seem to hold a certain weight about them.

Celebrian knew from the moment she chose to marry Elrond exactly what she was risking. But I think having heard and potentially seen Elros, this was something she was willing to take. It wasn’t a case of hoping her children would be immortal and find their way back to her. It was ‘I know they’ll choose what’s right for them, and I’ll be happy either way.”

Also remember Celebrian was born as part of a family who had been dealt fates worse than death before, and others to whom immortality would become a curse because they were the only ones left. Galadriel was still in exile, and had lost all her brothers and cousins. As far as they were concerned, this was it for her until she became a shade on Arda.

All that to say, she saw mortality and death not as a curse or sundering - she knew you didn’t have to die for that to happen. But as the gift as Eru intended it.

So yes. When Arwen was born, she grieved. But she also smiled. There’d come a point where her daughter would leave her forever, but she had an Uncle on the other side waiting for her. And Celebrian knew whoever had Arwen’s heart would be a noble and kind man indeed.

And based on conversations I’ve had with people talking of their married children? There will always be a sense of grief. But every parent, especially someone like Celebrian who had such a wonderful life with Elrond, wants their child to experience what they have.

Wherever it takes them.

(Celebrian receives letters from Arwen and Aragorn when Legolas comes. She holds them close and weeps, but smiles and laughs as she reads them. And her heart eases. Just as she thought, Arwen was happier in her short time on Arda than she ever would’ve been as an immortal in the Undying Lands.)

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Listen i don’t…. I don’t have words I just have vibes to present okay i just have vibes

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[jadewritesficshere]

Thinking about Eddie Munson who was complaining to the rest of the band about his shoulders and neck hurting post show. One of them convinces him to go for a massage.

Eddie shows up day of and is told to strip to level of comfort and get under the sheets laying on his back, his masseuse will knock before coming in. Eddie has not an ounce of care or shame, strips completely naked. Scars and tattoos on full display. He climbs between the sheets and waits. After knocking and hearing a "come in", his masseuse enters and-

The most handsome man he's ever seen walks in. A bit of stubble on his defined jaw, soft pale lips Eddie wants to kiss, big brown eyes Eddie wants to get lost in, slutty little waist and an ass Eddie could-

He introduces himself as Steve. Verifies where Eddie had said his tension was on the form he hastily filled out. Then it starts.

And maybe, maybe, Eddie is a bit touch starved. He could have anyone he wants, but they don't want him just his fame. Pushes them all away. Only gets close to his band, but they all are busy and have their own people outside of work.

And Steve is just touching him. Rubbing smooth circles into his temple, down his cheekbones towards his jaw. Pressing on parts of Eddie's face he didn't even realize were tense. It's relaxing.

And Eddie regrets not leaving at least his boxers on to help hide that he's becoming hard. Kind of embarrassing, which makes his dick harder- which, that's a lot to unpack right now-

"Hey, relax man," Steve says, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. Eddie can see Steve's eyes dart towards the obvious situation," It's natural. Happens to the best of us." "Does it happen to you?" Eddie blurts out. Eddie wants to shove his face in one of these soft plush pillows and scream, but Steve just snorts a laugh and shakes his head at him. Doesn't even respond as he continues the massage.

Eddie tries to hold back his groans as Steve turns his head to the side and rubs his neck into his shoulders. He can feel the tension leave his body slowly. Feel the knots in his muscles release.

Eddie can't, however, hold back the noise he makes when Steve grabs a hold of his hair and tugs it. Eddie's eyes pop open and he stares into Steve's face, who has started blushing. Steve just clears his throat and let's Eddie's hair go before continuing the massage.

[confusedmothboy]

not to be demanding but I need to keep wife fed pls get on vannat train and make some art PLEASSE I BEG I WILL MAKE SO MANY TRAVIS EDITS

@tortureddelilah (hope i got the tag right) heres ur food

[gammija]

ig another annoying thing about the 'this transcends language 😲😱' comments about the most obvious of cognates and literal english loanwords, is that it's another example of how native english speakers (and, by virtue of their population size, mostly USamericans) are the arbiters of what gets seen as 'universal' vs what's weird and foreign on the anglophone internet. cause to me as a dutch speaker, a lot of german compound words would '''transcend language''' - but the tweets that go viral about those kinds of words are about how they're silly little nonsense words to laugh at, can't be a real language, can you believe anyone speaks that!

[transyashiro]

Hi, genuine question, why transandrophobia is not real? I just thought it was a word to describe the transphobia specifically targeted to transmascs, but if that is not the case id like to be corrected. Also your art is so beautiful I love it!

hey anon. firstly, thank you, i'm glad you like my art. secondly, i am at the end of the day just a guy who draws sometimes. this is a question which was already answered many times by transfeminists on here, and ideally you'd want to get the perspectives of tma people rather than mine. and just in general, keep up with discussions of transmisogyny and listen to transfems, yeah?

all that said, since you are asking me personally... to put it as simply as i can: transandrophobia, or transmisandry, is not real because misandry is not real. that should be the end of the discussion, really. there is no need for a special word to describe transphobia targeted at transmascs, because transphobia and/or other forms of oppression (real ones, Not misandry) depending on any particular situation already cover everything. why is there a desire for a special word to begin with, anyway? girls got one, we want one too? c'mon

but also like, all that aside, regardless of how real or not real transandrophobia is, it is a dog whistle. if someone associates with the transandrophobia crowd, they are most likely a transmisogynist. that should be enough of a reason to steer away from those guys and not trust them. sure, some posts by them might seem compelling or validating at a glance, i've definitely seen younger trans guys who don't know any better start looking in that direction because they feel like they are finally being given a tool to discuss their experiences. i assume that's partially why your question is framed like that, too, because a simple "we just want a word to discuss our oppression" is a lot more convincing than "we hate trans women and want to make them out to be the true oppressors" or "we're just men rights activists but with a trans flag, which also means that we are incapable of oppressing trans women because of our inherent connection to womanhood. don't worry about what that logic implies about our views of trans women" or... you get the picture. it's transmisogyny through and through, you don't even need to dig much

again, i hope you'll look more into what trans women have to say on this, it would do more good than my short clumsy explanation, but hopefully it at least gives you some vague idea

[starlostfish]

Ayyyy been working on a swap au with some friends :^]

HELLO THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG TO FINISH ㅠㅠ I hope you’re all doing well! As usual, sorry for taking so long lol ;_>; my brain feels like a pinball machine when it comes to making AUs lol I hope it looks alright!

Ok i have other drawings that are nearly done and i will try to speed up my art process cuz this is just getting ridiculous lolol

eta: I FORGOT ABOUT HIS CONCEPT ART AND THE WAY IT SHOWED HIS FOREHEAD (LIKE HARU) NAURRRRRRR!!! I MAY NEED TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS LOLOL I COMPLETELY BLANKED IT OUTTTTT ㅠㅠ

[yarrowlynx2]

drew my horsesona

[gobstoppr]

Tetris Fanart.

I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah

[icewindandboringhorror]

At what temperature INDOORS (not outdoor weather) do you start to become noticeably uncomfortable (sweaty, heavy, don't feel like doing anything, etc.) and begin trying to cool off yourself or your environment?

(Like, at what point do you start putting out fans, turning on the AC, getting ice water, etc. because the indoor room temperature has gotten too high for you?)

It's starting to get warmer weather where I live, so I was thinking about it/curious how this might vary :0

(sorry if the celsius conversions aren't entirely accurate, I just used a website to look them up/am not familiar with measuring things that way myself lol)

[aroaceleovaldez]

random question, you mentioned a bit ago that the PJO fandom has a lot similarities with old anime fandoms. i’m interested to hear more about that if you want to elaborate? thanks :)

Of course! The main aspect is just fandom crossover - generally book fandoms are their own sort of isolated fandom "bubble" so-to-speak, so most of the audience crossover is within that bubble (book fandom-to-book fandom crossover). Back in the day book fandoms actually had their own version of a "Superwholock" composite fandom which consisted of (but was not limited to) primarily PJO, HP, and The Hunger Games, but also frequently included other major book fandoms at the time like The Maze Runner, Shadow Hunters, etc etc. It even had its own little symbol thing! But so you have the book fandoms "bubble," and then anime fandoms are their own "bubble" as well and there's not always a lot of crossover between them. You might get some, but they're largely their own spheres (there's definitely more crossover now than there used to be, but still). You can kind of think of it like how there are separate conventions for stuff like anime, comics, furries, etc and they were all born out of the sci-fi community. There is crossover between them, but you're largely going to see one main subject in its designated space.

PJO fandom back in the day was an outlier though, because we had notable amount more interaction with anime fandoms back then than most book fandoms. I'm not sure why, but I have a couple of theories. (under the cut cause this post got long)

One of the primary ones is that PJO has a HUGE overlap with "Western Anime" fandoms, primarily Avatar: The Last Airbender (and eventually also Voltron: Legendary Defender). Obviously these fandoms are going to have a LOT more crossover with actual anime fandoms (a large amount of formerly-PJO, at-the-time-VLD fans moved to My Hero Academia fandom during the last two seasons of VLD for example) particularly moreso than other western cartoon fandoms. Most of the overlap just kind of arises from the generation growing up on PJO (when it was new in the States) was also growing up on A:TLA at the time, and may have also had minor interactions with anime in the states in the early 2000s like your 4kids animes and such. It could also be due to the PJO movies causing a huge influx around 2010 (alongside a couple of the other major book fandoms also having movies around this time) and a lot of those new fans getting into the books/fandom from the movies probably had a bias for visual media versus text-based media, so they're more likely to be in anime fandoms versus other book fandoms (and the general prevalence of anime fandoms circa 2012, when a lot of those pjo fans were getting into fandom for the first time due to being like, 12 at the time). Also, a lot of pjo fans are big into fantasy, action, and coming-of-age genres, all of which anime has plenty of (see: shonen animes).(This is actually what I attribute to why VLD fandom failed so badly - VLD was a mecha show with a fanbase not very interested at all in mecha genre, because you had a large percentage who were pjo and adjacent fans more interested in other genres.)

One of my other theories is crossover with Homestuck. While PJO doesn't have a specific unique fandom crossover with Homestuck, Homestuck was just so ubiquitous with fandoms of the late 2000s/early 2010s that crossover is inevitable. It of course was also formative to many big name fans of PJO that you probably recognize, like Ikimaru, Indigonite, Fuocogo, Elentori, and etc. Even Viria (the original post is gone but reblogs still exist) and Velinxi were also Homestucks. Nearly every old PJO BNF (and some current ones) are or were a homestuck, and BNFs have a large influence on the fandoms they're in (hence the name). Homestuck itself heavily referenced many animes and had large crossover and interaction with anime fandoms, alongside just generally being a ubiquitous internet fandom in it's own right back in the day. So it figures that PJO fans who were also Homestucks would either pick up the anime influences through Homestuck and its fandom or enter anime fandoms popular at the time through Homestuck fandom. (There used to be a joke about "Homestuck is my favorite anime" due to how just lumped in Homestuck was with anime fandoms despite being an American webcomic, but this makes sense given again the anime influences on the comic). (We're actually kind of seeing this again with The Locked Tomb, another book fandom that has a lot of overlap with anime fandoms, but hilariously Locked Tomb started out as davekat fanfiction so it all loops back around to Homestuck, LMAO). In general these overlaps make sense - Homestuck and PJO are similar genres of story and both involve a lot of mythology and pop culture references, and a lot of the anime that were popular in PJO spheres were in similar genre categories or adjacent at least to the same demographics. Especially a lot of your big 2012-ish animes. And also Homestuck. Also, Homestuck fandom (and a lot of anime fandoms at the time) had very large and vocal queer fanbases, which the PJO fandom was also starting to have at the time, which wasn't as common (or at least as vocal) in other book fandoms.

Regardless of how it happened, PJO fandom behaved a lot more like anime fandoms than book fandoms back then. For one, our fandom was very heavily art-focused. A lot of book fandoms lean more text-focused for obvious reasons, so you'll find a decent amount of fanfiction but not a lot of art (and the art you will find won't usually have a large anime influence like how PJO fandom does in its fanart) (there are other book fandoms that are more art-heavy - like Warrior Cats - but those often involve other overlaps. WC has HUGE overlap with furry fandom for obvious reasons, which is also an art-heavy fandom). Anime fandoms obviously have fanfiction as well, but also have a much larger visual component. Also cosplay - anime fandoms are big on cosplay and have been for ages. Book fandoms usually have very little cosplay. PJO fandom has always had a very strong cosplay community, which is atypical for book fandoms, especially older ones. There are a lot of other little intricacies that are difficult for me to describe, especially since anime fandoms have also shifted over time, but if you compare PJO to other book fandoms even now (but especially back in that like 2010-2015 era), you can really see the sort of in-between space PJO occupied.

It's especially interesting to me because - and I was actually just having a discussion about this the other day - the anime fandom crossover that PJO has still exists, but it's very directional most of the time. Like, if you see a crossover au, there's not a lot of anime crossover AUs in PJO fandom, and many that exist are either older AUs or from older fans. On the flip side though, there's plenty of PJO aus in anime fandoms, particularly in anime fandoms that have a large percentage of PJO fans like BNHA. It's an interesting little exchange.

PJO is a mainstream fandom, so it does get a little funky cause we have a lot of what I call "passive" fandom or "new" fandom which generally doesn't engage or partake in the same ways that "old" fandom did. It's that kind of "consumerist" fandom atmosphere you hear about sometimes, and it largely exists because of that mainstream aspect - these people are largely young and aren't very far into fandom, this may even likely be their first and/or only fandom, and they're basically totally unfamiliar with what fandom is supposed to look like. Their concept of fandom comes from pop culture and mainstream media, which often presents it as very source-focused and consumerist, so that's how they behave in fandom versus the "old" fandom style of community-focus. So within the main PJO sphere you get a lot of people who don't interact with fandom the way you might expect like in "old" fandom. But if you look into other fandom spheres that are less mainstream (which happens to include a lot of anime fandoms by nature, at least in western spheres) you're not unlikely to run into fans in those spaces who, for example, a.) are familiar with pjo due to it being mainstream and b.) interact with fandom spaces in that "older" sense, and so are more likely to make PJO aus for other fandoms (or do other crossover aus or other general "older" fandom things). The newer fans or "passive" fandom people are a lot more likely to stay within the bounds of canon and less likely to make crossovers overall. The younger fans in general aspect also plays into it - a lot of them obviously haven't interacted with those older anime fandoms, and they're less likely to interact deeply with anime fandoms in general just cause of how mainstream anime has gotten in the west, so they don't need to seek out specific communities for it like older western anime fans used to have to.

But yeah. Lots of interesting stuff!

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[owltxt]

good ol' rough ballpoint pen borsalino sketches when I should actually be sleeping 👍

[mspeevee]

New guys tonightt

Pikachu, Mew, and Eevee (all not pictured) were taken tonight~

Didn't have time to give teddiursa the full treatment...