#yeah im really sorry if this still doesn't explain everything

[hauntedrain]

Part 1: Unexpected | Max Verstappen x Fem Reader |

mixed Social media AU summary: Max stumbles upon a twitch streamer who peaks his interest

✮▹A/N: Love you guys and thank you for 1,000 notes on my last post but also 100 followers! love you guys

✰▹Warnings/Notices: Used random names for readers friends, also i really didnt know how to format this tbh so might be a bit weird and make no sense. NOT EDITED.

Part 2: Here!

liked by 25,456 others

@Y/N: Stream was lovely today, sorry for missing the last stream. love you guys and see you on the weekend! ALSO new video out on YouTube with Theo and Lorelei.

Y/N has posted a youtube video!

YouTube transcript!

Y/N: Its actually really pretty out today, I expected it to be a little more gloomy. But its rather sunny out.

Lorelei: Why are you talking like that?

Y/N: What do you mean? Just because you still talk like a 5 year old doesn't mean I have to stay on your level.

Lorelei: Anyways...

Theo: Did you hear that they're planning an f1 race here?

Y/N: F1? Like the vroom vroom thing you like?

Lorelei: PLEASE the vroom vroom thing.

Y/N: I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS!

Theo: Yes the vroom vroom thing. Anyways yea they're planning it.

Lorelei: What team do you like?

Theo: McLaren. you?

Lorelei: Maybe Redbull or Ferrari.

Y/N: Preferably I like the one thats winning. so...

Theo: Redbull.

Y/N: got it.

Y/N: I wanted to buy this coat from down the street from my apartment but it was like $150. At that time I really thought about where and if I should find a rich man to marry.

Lorelei: F1 drivers are rich.

Theo: Like rich rich, mainly the popular and good ones but thats besides the point.

Y/N: As much as you guys try im not gonna get into F1. And also why is this video just you guys insulting me over not knowing anything.

Theo: We just think you'll like it.

Y/N: Cars going in a circle for 2 hours? Would rather watch football

Lorelei: But you like football.

Y/N: Yeah thats my point?

Max Verstappen has gone live!

Max Verstappen has ended the stream!

Liked by Max verstappen & 32,345 others

@Y/N: Why are people tagging me in F1 stuff? And whos Max verstappen? HELP.

user8: LMFAO MAX IN THE LIKES. THIS POOR GIRL.

user9: I think you should do a reaction video or stream to everything.

↪ user10: she would need Theo and Lorelei for help.

user11: MAX CAN TELL YOU.

↪ Y/N: WHO TF IS MAX?

↪ Lorelei: Babe please come to my room. I'll explain everything.

↪ user12: MAKE A VIDEO OUT OF IT PLEASE OR STREAM IT.

↪ Y/N: Will do?

Y/N has gone Live!

titled: HELP ME.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: Guys im deeply sorry if this makes no sense and everything is confusing. IDK what im doing. but love you guys and I hope you enjoyed.

[generalsmemories]

Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

[disneyprincemuke]

beating the heat * ls2

it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

pairings: logan sargeant x platonic fem!driver

notes: this actually took me longer than thirty minutes to write im sorry

| "wanna hang out?" | driver's parade | american burgers | american football | the thanksgiving incident | another williams adoptee | beating the heat | you’re embarrassing me | santa baby | the favourite driver | the situationship | it's nice to have a friend |

your eyes widen as your eyes stay on the tv screen in george's side of the garage. you readjust the headphones sitting in your ears as you push yourself towards the screen in the corner.

"logan's retiring," you mutter to yourself. you hurriedly tear the headphones from your head. you cover your ears from the sound of george's car driving into the pitlane for a stop.

"excuse me," you mutter to toto, tapping him on the shoulder as you say it and immediately disappear. while this should be concerning for the team principal, you are old enough to know what you are doing. you have been around for long - he doesn't need to keep tabs on you.

he just shrugs and goes back to speaking into the mic.

you navigate your way around the paddocks quick. perhaps it's a good thing that you and george had accidentally crashed into one another at the start of the race, forcing you to retire the car due to irreparable damages. you're not a big fan of the heat in qatar, and it seems that neither is logan.

you're not angry at george. actually, you will definitely be laughing about the whole thing over some late-night food in the hotel together with some soda.

you find benny standing outside the medical centre with his phone to his ear. you wave at him to catch his attention as you approach. he pulls the phone from his ear when you do.

"is logan inside?" you point towards the door. "is he alright?"

"dehydrated and unwell," he sighs, shaking his head. "i'm on the phone with his mother - you head right in."

you mutter a quick thank you, already a bit regretful that you had interrupted his phone call to update logan's mother. you head right into the medical building and try to find the one room that had the most movement.

you stumble in, chest heaving as you're greeted by james and logan sitting in the corner of the room. you sigh in relief as logan smiles at you weakly, his head resting on the wall behind him, arm stretched out as a nurse connects him to an iv drip.

"are you okay?" you ask, finally walking in. "what happened, mate? i thought you were drinking water and felt better from the flu."

logan shakes his head. "apparently the flu doesn't go great with the qatar heat. i tried to see it through, you know. but i just- i couldn't. it's too much. it's so stupid."

you glance at james and tilt your head. james shrugs. "i keep telling him it's okay. if he carried on racing, who would've known what would happen?"

you slump your shoulders and pat him on the knee. "don't be so hard on yourself. the heat really is something, you know? you're not the only one feeling it," you explain slowly, "i'm already fighting the heat while standing in the garage all night."

"but everyone else is having a go at it. look at oscar?" he throws his free hand into the air to show you his frustration. "stupid. everything about this is stupid. the fact that i'm here and still not in the car is stupid."

"i used to be this hard on myself when i was younger, you know," you sigh, putting your hands behind your back. you lean on the wall to prop yourself up and nod when logan raises an eyebrow at you. "yeah. i'm a woman in motorsport - i was my biggest critic. i was very uptight until george and i became teammates."

"why? you were amazing even when you first started out. you were on the podium in the first half of your rookie season," logan mutters. "everyone kissed the ground you walked on. you're still in chatter as a title contender for years to come."

you shrug. "maybe you only consumed articles that put me in a great light. there were a lot of those," you admit, remembering the way you'd tear yourself apart indulging in articles about your place in formula one, "but there were also a lot that picked me apart and treated me less than.

"i retired once because i wasn't feeling great from my period. imagine the backlash i got after that. from the media, the fans, and people i thought had my back. but i had to retire - it's the safer route than pushing through and potentially passing out and crashing in the car. i could've died if that were to happen."

logan's eyebrows furrowed. "that's not fair. it's just your period - it's natural."

"i know," you point a knowing finger at him, "your flu is also just natural. do you know what i did the next weekend after i retired that weekend?" you grin, glancing over at james. he knows this story because he had been around when it happened. "i bounced right back up - i won my first race."

he laughs softly and looks away. "i'm not as great as you, come on. no way i'm winning the next race."

"to make it far, you have to stay true to yourself. you did the right thing today, kid." you folded your arms over your chest and smiled. "don't get lost in the sport, logan. f1 will always be here like it's always been. you're human. don't forget that."

he looks at you again, tears welled in his eyes from your speech. he breathes out shakily and smiles. "has anyone ever told you that you'd make a great ted talk?"

"ah, shut up, logan."

@cashtons-wife

[nolita-fairytale]

did you ever end up writing the phone call blurb?? i am STRUGGLING to find it and im so desperate 😭😭😭

called you again (extended)

a/n: ok so i never got to writing the actual phone call that transpires between carmy and reader, that gets her to chicago in the first place. and if i recall correctly, @cool-girl-is-hot was also patiently awaiting this phone call. since i'm doing the follower celebration, what a perfect time for me to bring this back, @bunnywritesmarvel.

You answer the call before you can talk yourself out of it, immediately putting it on speaker. 

“Hi,” you say, your voice shaking a little. 

And it’s as if a fog clears, like you've been waiting to hear it for a long time.

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft, yet hesitant.

You're met with a long silence on the end of the other line as the two of you dance around whatever it is Carmy called to say. There's a part of you that wants nothing more than to spill everything, lead the conversation like you always do, but after months of radio silence, you know you can't do that. If Carmy wants to reconnect, then he's got a whole of groveling to do considering he pretty much ghosted you since he moved back home.

"I uh. I heard," he finally says, in reference to your recent change of employment.

"Oh," you sound, your voice higher in pitch than you imagined it would be as you scramble to find a better word than 'oh.' "I... um. Yeah. My heart wasn't in it anymore."

What you want to say is, my heart moved to Chicago and forgot how his fucking phone works.

"Yeah," Carmy replies, and you can practically hear him pacing back and forth as he searches for something to say.

You share another silence, this one much more tense than the last, like a hot pot of water about to blow its lid off in pressure, as you wait for him to ask you something -- anything. How hard could it be?

How are you? What's been going on? Sorry I haven't called.

But he doesn't say anything of these things. Instead, when he finally speaks again, all he says is:

"So listen. I uh-, I got this guy. He’s- he’s self taught but he’s got a lot of potential,” Carmy explains, his delivery becoming more and more confident as he hides behind the work.

“He just needs a good teacher – someone to inspire him – give him some of the foundations he would’ve gotten in culinary school. I think uh, I think you'd like him.

So after four months of no contact he... needs something from you? You can't help the feelings of anger and disappointment that grow inside of you.

Was he upset that you quit the restaurant -- here to talk you into going back -- now that he needed a favor? A stage?

“Just for a week, maybe?" Carmy suggests, his voice going up at the end, almost as if it's a question.

"I can’t pay you much but uh, well we’ve got a little money, which is a whole other story, and I can talk to my brother-in-law. He can put you up somewhere… you know… if you want to. If that helps.” 

Oh.

He's asking you to come to Chicago.

While it feels like it changes things, you're still ambivalent and you certainly don't want to get your hopes up.

"Carmy..." you trail off on an exhale. "I don't know."

"Sure," Carmy nods, chewing on his lip, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious about asking you in the first place.

He wants to take it all back, tell you it was a stupid idea, and apologize for even saying something in the first place. But he doesn't. He can't. Because after working himself up to call you for the last few hours, there's no way he's going to back out now.

Let it rip, Bear.

"I uh... well, I understand. If can't-. Don't want to. Maybe I shouldn't've uh..." Carmy stammers through, the heat rising to his cheeks.

"It's just uh. Tim told me... you might be looking for some inspiration."

Right.

You pause before asking:

"Can I... Can I think about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sure," Carmy is quick to answer, because he really wants to make this okay for you.

For the both of you.

And because hearing your voice for the first time in four months feels better than he ever could've imagined.

"Okay. I'll uh... I'll think about it," you drag out, because you know you'll need some time to process this.

"Listen, I uh. I'm late to meet Liz. But I'll let you know. Either way."

"Yeah, okay. Okay," he answers, nodding eagerly.

"Okay," you reply, listening to Carmy bid you a soft spoken goodbye before ending the call.

"Holy shit," you hiss, putting your phone down on the table, your hand folded over your heart as you can feel it race.

Well, you've got quite the decision to make.

[gojot-t]

Heloooo!

Can i have a 1 second chance romance with topping “I can’t imagine going back to a life without you.” “Then stay.” ?

Name is Sae Itoshi ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

from the valentine's day event! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

itoshi sae + second chance romance +"I can't imagine going back to a life without you." "Then stay." ˎˊ˗

tags :: probably ooc sae :(, gn!reader, this doesn't exactly follow the manga, a little angst but overall fluffy yayy, also probably grammar mistakes..

a/n:: anon im so so so sorry for the delay</3 i really hope you will like it nonetheless. on the other hand, this is almost 2k words :o

You remember the first time Sae asked you out.

You both were still children at the time, but in front of the ocean waves and ice cream dripping on the sand, no one had ever made you feel the way he did, so complete and loved.

That day, with the orange of the sunset illuminating his face, you almost thought he was an angel. When he looked at you so intensely and wrapped his hands around yours and whispered those words, like a precious secret between just the two of you, you already knew that he was the one for you.

"When I'm around you, I feel these strange things," he paused as if searching for the right words, "After a while I finally figured out what it was. I like you, I really like you, so... We should just date."

There were no fancy roses or chocolates, just an awkward confession of his way and the childish desire to always be there for each other.

"Dating? Like what adults do?"

"Yeah, like cuddles and stuff..." He looked away embarrassed as he spoke. It was rare to see Sae blush and the sight brought you more joy than you could explain.

"But we're not adults! And we already hug all the time..."

"Whatever, just accept it."

Sae's hands weren't much bigger against yours, but at that moment he felt as if he could hold the world in them.

After that, even though things had changed a bit, it felt natural, a good change. He had treated you well all along, but now he had turned into a complete gentleman. He would insist that you go to all his games to be his "lucky charm" even though he had always said that he didn't need anything but himself to win. "If I see you cheering for me, I'll definitely score another goal."

He would wait for you after school to go for ice cream together, walking hand in hand.

Once you insisted that you play ball together. Despite knowing nothing about the sport, you still wanted to share and support Sae's passion for it, but you just shamefully tripped over the ball and fell flat on your face in front of him, instead of laughing or mocking you, he knelt down beside you so worried that you were surprised. "Are you alright?? Does it hurt?! Do you want me to carry you??"

"I'm fine..."

"Good, don't scare me like that." He had given your knee a little kiss to "heal" and helped you up.

You wish you could cherish moments like that forever and everything was like a beautiful fairytale until Sae was offered professional training in Spain.

He had always loved soccer and that was no secret to anyone, so when the news arrived everyone hugged him and congratulated him. You couldn't have been happier for him and jumping for joy alongside him, despite his usual stoic façade, you knew that he too could barely contain his excitement.

There was just one small problem that you didn't have the courage to point out and apparently, Sae too.

When the day of his departure arrived, your heart was heavy with mixed feelings that you desperately tried not to let show. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Sae, and despite feeling so, so happy for him, when his flight was announced, the curtain of tears in your eyes finally came down.

You expected to meet his angry gaze, for being so selfish and crying at such an important moment for him, but instead you saw kind eyes and a sad smile.

"Don't cry, you look ugly like that."

The tears just fell harder. The hand that had been patting your head moved to your shoulder and pulled you against him.

The sight of you crying for him - because of him - brought an uncomfortable feeling to the pit of his stomach that he couldn't describe, but knew he didn't like. He had no experience in comforting anyone other than Rin, and you weren't Rin, but for your sake he was willing to learn anything.

"You won't forget me, will you?" Your hands grabbed at any piece of him they could reach.

You knew that Sae's family was probably watching the whole interaction, yet at that moment it felt like there were only the two of you in the world.

Sae seemed even sadder. "I should be the one asking this, you know. Don't think you'll be able to get rid of me that easily, I'll still call you every day. There are the holidays too, I'm going to visit at Christmas. Nothing between us is going to change."

You desperately wished it were true, but it never was. Sae didn't come back for Christmas.

The daily calls he'd promised became weekly, stopping only once in a while until you were the only one calling and being answered by the operator's monotone, robotic voice - this number is unavailable. Try again later.

You were worried, then angry with him and then at yourself. You didn't know what had caused the sudden change, so you blamed yourself. No matter how much you wanted to, you had to come to terms with the fact that you'd probably never know if things really could have been different.

Like putting a bandaid on a deep wound, that scar would always be open in you. Sometimes the slightest gust of wind was enough to make it bleed, like passing the ice cream parlor on the corner where you made so many fond memories with him, or Mrs. Sae who still greeted you on the street.

The truth was that the more you tried to forget the boy you handed your heart to on a platter, the more attached you felt to him.

That's why when you saw him standing in front of your door after four long years, you almost thought you were crazy.

With your emotions betraying your reason, you found yourself in front of the ocean waves with Sae again. Your mind has imagined this situation many times and each time you would shout at him, beat your fists against his chest, answer him with the same coldness that he dismissed you from his life, but a simple "Can we talk?" was enough for your determination crumble.

With your arms over your chest – your only armor against the memories that came at you like an avalanche – the dichotomy between the boy with the gentle hands and soft eyes you knew and the man in front of you is so much that it seems to destabilize you.

With his hands in his pockets, Sae almost looks a bit embarrassed. The deja vu of the situation doesn't go unnoticed and you decide to be a little petty and remain silent.

"... Coach said recently that there was still something holding me back in Japan."

"..."

He scratches the back of his neck slightly. "You probably hate me, right? I don't blame you for that... But in the last almost five years there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about you."

Hate him? You don't think you've ever hated Sae. Sure, there have been times when you've been angry with him, but hating him... You don't think you're capable of it and the thought haunts you. You'd like to hate him.

"..."

He sighs as if he's tired. "This is where it all started, remember?"

"...Just what am I to you, Sae?" You thought your voice would come out as loud as a scream, but only it shakes with anger. "You... You make me think that you're the only one for me and then you leave just like that! Now you come back out of nowhere, what do you think I'm going to do? Crawl at your feet and say I missed you?! Just what I am to you?"

He doesn't seem surprised and this increases your anger even more. There's just one second where only the waves of the sea can be heard.

"There was this one time in elementary school when the teacher asked us what we wanted for the future. You said you didn't know, but as long as you could see me play you'd be satisfied... That's when I realized I was madly in love with you."

His answer catches you off guard, this happened right at the beginning of his and Sae's friendship.

"I'd never had those kinds of thoughts before. Futebol is an individual sport for me, so I thought my life would be like that too. I'd never imagined someone always by my side before, but then you'd give me that stupid smile with that cute little window of yours and suddenly all I cared about was having you with me."

"S-Sae..."

"When I got the offer to train abroad, I wanted to take you with me, but I couldn't... Some things happened there, and I was no longer the same boy you last saw. I didn't want to disappoint you and I didn't have the courage to look at you again, so... I thought it would be better if you just hated me. I was a coward."

He interlaces your fingers against his.

"Despite everything, all this time that has passed and trying to convince myself that things would be better this way... I can't imagine going back to a life without you."

Sobs clog up the words in your throat and even when you try to reply, all that comes out are cries. with your face stained with tears, you're sure that if it weren't for Sae's arms holding you, your knees would have lost their strength a long time ago.

"Sae, Y-You idiot,” you whisper against his chest, voice heavy with the pain of finally knowing the truth. “Coward.."

He hugs you and caresses your head, his touch has never felt so right on your skin - like the missing piece of a puzzle finally falling into place. So many years ago you were the same size as him, but now his shape completely engulfs yours.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Then stay." He opens his mouth but you stop him, you already know what he's going to say. "It doesn't have to be in Japan... Just with me, just be here, with me."

He rests his forehead against yours and hugs you harder. With a kiss salty with tears, he doesn't need words to seal this promise against your lips. Sae doesn't intend to make the same mistake twice.

[shroomsroom]

Hii!! Can you do Johnny x fem reader fic whos a soc but really nice to him and doesn’t rlly care abt to whole soc vs greasers thing and hangs around with him while with her friends, not caring if they thought of her differently or not. but johnny, he thinks his friends will think something else when they find out hes with a soc so he tries avoiding her whenever his friends are around and reader gets upset and asks him why he explains and says he would introduce her despite still being scared and when he does and he thought it went well since tjey were so nice to her but after she left they all told him that shes not good for him blah blah and like she forgets something so she ends up going back and she hears everything and gets really sad? im sorry if this is too specific and long 😭

Summary: In which you are friends with Johnny but the gang thinks it's a bad idea Warnings: angst?? Author's Note: writers block hitting harder than my burnt blinkers atp You and Johnny had been good friends for a while now. Well, maybe it was more of a one-sided friendship. He almost always avoided you when you were with your friends or when he was with his. You could understand why he’d avoid you when you were around your friends, they were rowdy and dangerous sometimes, but you just couldn’t understand why he’d keep you from his friends. Deep down, you knew that it was because of the soc versus greaser thing, but as much as you tried to reassure him that you genuinely wanted to be his friend, your friendship stopped pretty much as soon as the school bell rang. 

One day, you stopped him at his locker. “Johnny, I’d really like to meet your friends.” You said, asserting a level of seriousness into your normally lighthearted conversations. “Not a good idea, Y/n” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please! I promise, I won’t do anything to piss them off!” And with some convincing, you two decided on Sunday to go and meet them. You walked quickly, with a briskness that only came with a happy mood. It was Sunday and you were walking to the ‘Curtis brother’s’ house. You’ve heard of them before but not much could be said about them. You rounded the corner and stepped up the porch, gently knocking. You listened as the chatter ceased and footsteps approached the door. Johnny opened it, a weary smile on his face, he stepped to the side to let you in. “Hello!” You said as you entered and everyone inside got up to greet you. 

There was 1 young boy, 3 guys who sat close together and whispered to each other and 2 older guys. They each introduced themselves, one with less grace than the others. His gruff demeanor threw you off but you tried to be as cheerful as possible throughout the whole conversation.

In your opinion, it went pretty well, and as you bid them goodnight you thought that they thought the same. But as it turns out, you remembered you forgot your purse there and hurried back only to catch a glimpse of their conversation.

“I don't know man, you know about them socs..” the boy known as Sodapop said.

“Swear, she's really nice. And she says she doesn't care about us being greasers.” Johnny tried,

“Yeah? And since when do you trust socs?” Dallas countered and there was a murmur of agreement.

“Best not to associate with them” Darry muttered, and you gasped, Darryl was the nicest out of them all. You damn near broke into tears, a quiet sob escaping your lips. Your purse would have to wait because all you wanted to do was to run home and cry.

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Your Dead AU gives me brain rot. I dunno if this was asked yet or not, but I wanted to know your thoughts on Ash’s other rivals finding out about his status as deceased. Hypothetical what-it’s if you don’t honestly see them finding out for one reason or another in canon to the AU, but I’m curious as to your thoughts on how they’d find out.

I guess I should better specify Barry, Paul, Trip, and Alain, how they’d react to Ash’s being dead?

OKAY!;

Barry doesn't believe it at all. Even when given hard definitive truth, he's under the assumption that all of this? All this deadness? It's just a cruel prank that needs to be fined for!

Paul... I imagine Paul is the one to outright calling him pathetic for dying so soon. It's both malicious in intent and not.

He wants to call Ash Pathetic, he wants to make him hurt and make him feel inferior. He wants to revel that Ash will never succeed with the methods he's going by.

But Paul isnt a cruel person by nature. The moment he says it, he's filled wih so much dread and disgust. He just called a dead person pathetic for... For DYING, nothing on his actions or movements. He's just pathetic for dying.

He avoids Ash for awhile after that. Even when Ash instigates. It's just that much level of disgust with himself. Eventually he does apologize. I can see it being at the league. When he walks up to Ash after loosing their battle and apologizes without any eyes or ears around. He's not good at it.

"That really hurt me." Ash grimaces. "Ive never been called Pathetic for Dying..."

"Im sorry you felt that way." Paul tries. "I didnt mean to say it the way i did."

Its a lot of awkward dancing before Ash realizes Paul is really Socially inept and has to clarify. It's a shitty apology for a Shitty action, but Paul is absolutely trying and Ash cannot fault him for that.

Trip. See my bias shows here because I absolutely believe Trip is 100% an asshole Racist.

But would Trip insult Ash's dead status? I think so. I think he'd sprinkle it in with all his other racists remarks. Never outright outing him, but also never letting him forget that Trip KNOWS.

And fuck if that doesnt wear Ash down. And When Iris and Cilan find out, they back Ash up without a thought but it doesnt erase how much Trip taunts how Ash died. Doesnt erase that Trip continuously makes snide remarks about it.

I think this is the one and only time Ash truly uses his own abilities and powers to make Trip HURT.

And it doesnt even give him any satisfaction! Cause Trip had successfully made him feel disgusted by his own dead status. Something mind you, he had been over for fucking YEARS, by that point!

So yeah I think Trip is the worst one and my bias will not falter.

Alain. I imagine he finds out at the BRINK of Ash getting mind controlled. And he's fucking horrified. He truly does believe that He led Ash to his death and then his partner Pikachu as well.

Just fully goes into Shock after everything calms down.

He killed someone he considered a friend.

He killed them.

And Even through soft reassurances from everyone else, it weighs so heavily on his mind. It takes Ash slapping him for him to come back to a reality where he can actually understand what their saying.

And Then Ash explains it all, how he died, how long its been, and NO Alain did not kill him, but the backstabbing was painful as shit and that would take time for Ash to get over.

Alain both believes it and doesnt, but he's still horrified his friend is fucking DEAD.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

a mini ficlette to say sorry for not uploading as much recently that ended up not at all being mini and being almost 1k words but im posting anyways bc i will get more consistent i swear

also posting on mobile (so the formatting is probably shit) so not doing taglist bc idk how to do that lol. will properly fix everything up when i get home have my precious laptop

enough blabbering, here is the ficlette!

“sarah!” you whisper again, but your friend doesn't budge. you sigh and climb out of bed, glad that its a california king, big enough for both of you to share comfortably, and for your thrashing not to wake her up.

you warned sarah that you were prone to nightmares and didn't mind sleeping on the floor or in one of the guest bedrooms, but sarah insisted it was fine to share as she's a deep sleeper. you look back at her as you slip out of the room, realizing just how true that is.

you walk down the stairs quietly, glad that the stairs don't creak too loudly. when you reach the first floor, you pause to make sure you didn't wake anyone up before wandering through the house. aimless pacing is your best solution to getting over a nightmare, moving your body to tire it out and easing your mind at the same time.

you hum softly to yourself, a comforting tune your mother used to sing to you when you were a child. you don't know the name of it, but the melody is cemented in your memory.

you admire the art on the wall, your eyes having adjusted to the moonlight shining through the windows enough to make it out. you see a movement out of the corner of your eye and gasp, turning when the noise reaches you of the front door closing.

“what are you doing awake?” rafe asks, his voice low as he sneaks back into the house. what you didn't know is that he stayed out late just to avoid you, not wanting to get involved with his sisters friend but unable to control his emotions when around you.

“i-i had a nightmare.” you explain, eyebrows knitting together as you wait to hear the judgement coming from rafe. a scoffing laugh at still getting nightmares, maybe him calling you immature, a child, but it doesn't come. in fact, his face softens.

“im sorry.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, briefly pushing it off his forehead before it falls immediately back into place. “what usually helps?”

“walking around.” you wave your hand in the air, indicating that you just wander.

“can i join you then?” rafe offers, and you give a small nod. “yeah. yeah, totally.” you smile as rafe comes to your side, joining each other in slowly walking around the first floor of the house. you're silent for a couple minutes before you start to hum again, not missing the smile that graces rafes face when your tune begins.

your music is interrupted by yawns, until you're doing more yawning than whistling. 

“come on, let's get you to bed.” rafe says when you pass in front of the stairs, a firm hand on your back. you nod, letting him partially support your weight as you walk up the stairs.

“thanks, rafe.” you say softly when you reach his door.

“will you be okay?” he asks, a hand smoothing over your hair, his fingers twirling the end before dropping it. “i mean, with your nightmare.”

“i-i probably will be.” you say honestly. usually once you have a nightmare that wakes you, you don't have another when you manage to get back to sleep.

“you can-” rafe clears his throat, his eyes darting around your face. “you can sleep in my bed. if you want… with me.” rafe clarifies after a moment when you just silently stare at him.

“like… cuddle?” you question, wanting to make sure his intentions are very clear.

“yeah. cuddle. i can hold you so you don't have any more nightmares.”

“yes. yeah” you nod, “id really like that, rafe.”

“okay.” rafe smiles, opening his door and letting you walk in first.

you don't spend time looking around the room, heading right for the bed hoping that rafe doesn't see your shaking hands. 

rafe moves with you, pulling back the covers so you can climb in, and you let out a soft sigh when your head rests against the pillows. you lay still as rafe adjusts next to you, pulling the covers over both your bodies.

you're silent for a moment, before rafe turns and looks at you in the low light, “gonna come closer?”

you let out a soft giggle, sliding to meet rafe in the middle of the bed. his arms wrap around you, your head coming to lay on his chest, feeling natural and right as you lay a leg over his, your bodies fitting together as if they were meant to be.

“if a nightmare wakes you up and for some reason it doesn't wake me up, just shake me awake.”

“okay… thank you rafe.” you say, laying a hand over his chest. 

rafe presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand coming to cautiously rest on your lower back, and when you let out a hum of approval, he begins to rub over your pajama shirt.

“what do you think sarah is going to say when she wakes up and im not there?”

“don't worry about sarah. don't worry about anything right now, y/n. let's just get some sleep and we can worry about things in the morning.”

“okay.” you nod, picking your head up to look at rafe, his skin reflecting blue from the moonlight. you lean forward and press a light kiss to his jaw, and then another stronger, more meaningful kiss to his cheek. you move for his mouth but pause before you fully make contact.

“in the morning.” you whisper, not wanting to make a serious move on a sleep deprived brain, and rafe nods, eyelashes fluttering.

“in the morning.”

[cupidjyu]

could I request jacob cuddling with reader on the dorm couch. I think it would be cute if another member walked in on them kissing since he seems like the sweet innocent one of the group they’d be shocked to see him like making out w reader

warmly (and secretly)

jacob x reader (request hhehehe thank you so much for my first jacob request!)

genre: cuddling, kissing, actually it's a slight makeout, sunkyu cameos, lap sitting (im so sorry) notes: you cant convince me otherwise that jacob doesn't have some secret side to him that makes him an amazing kisser.... like word count: 0.7k

“why are you so warm?” you wondered to yourself.

jacob smiled, glancing at you shyly, “am i?”

you nodded. the two of you were currently cuddling on the dorm couch. of course, you knew that the rest of the members were out shopping. you had all the time to yourself with your boyfriend.

“you really are,” you replied, taking his hand in yours. you began playing with it, bending the fingers and running your own fingers across his palm. he fondly gazed at you. then, you brought his hand to your chest, letting it splay across your body. you looked at him sweetly. “see? you literally just warmed up my whole body.”

“maybe that’s just you,” he teased, scrunching his nose.

“no, no,” you laughed. “you need to help prove my hypothesis. come closer.”

he eyed you amusingly but still complied. he shifted closer so now your thighs were touching. you frowned.

“closer,” you urged.

“okay, okay,” he sighed, smiling. he put an arm behind you, letting your head fall on his chest. “this good?”

you nodded, taking a deep breath as you relaxed in his hold.

“you are literally warm, you cannot convince me otherwise,” you stated, glaring up at him. but what made your expression falter, was that jacob was only looking at you with such softness and tenderness that you felt your cheeks start to heat up. you quickly looked away, making him laugh.

you stayed there for a while, his hand caressing your shoulder and occasionally combing through your hair. it was so peaceful and calming you could just doze off right then and there.

you let out a disapproving sound. “i take everything back,” you blurted out. 

he looked at you, perplexed, “wait what?”

“this is not good enough,” you explained. you swiftly stood up and instead, you sat on his lap, straddling his hips. he stiffened, looking up at you with wide eyes, his cheeks starting to redden.

“oh,” he breathed out. he looked at you with awe and affection as his hands quickly came up to your waist, rubbing slightly. “did not expect that,” he muttered, looking at you with amusement, quickly recovering from his shy state. “you really want to be attached to me?”

you nodded, firmly, leaning forward to hug him as your head resting on his shoulder. his hand was now rubbing circles across your back soothingly. you wiggled even closer if that was possible. oh, how you loved cuddling.

after a few minutes, you soon realized that the two of you were doing literally nothing entertaining except cuddling, so you pulled away to speak to him. but what surprised you was that he was looking at you with an unreadable expression, his eyes dazed.

“jacob?”

he snapped out of it, “h-huh? yeah?”

“what do you want to do now?” you tilted your head. his eyes loomed over your lips.

“honestly?” he asked. you nodded. “i want to kiss you.”

oh, certainly more entertaining. your breath hitched as you felt your heartbeat speed up. with a shaky voice, you whispered, “then do it.”

he didn’t waste a single moment, as he sat up. his hand came up to cup your face as he tilted your head to press his lips against yours. you let out a surprised sound as you struggled to kiss back with how passionate he was. 

he even began to lean forward, holding you closer by the waist, kissing you harder. you wrapped your arms around his neck as he continued to make your breath disappear-

there was a loud screech out of nowhere, followed by a shocked, “what is this?”.

you whipped around, your lips swollen as your face began to color red. it was changmin who had screeched, his mouth wide open in shock. sunwoo was standing behind him, his mouth also gaping. the grocery bag he was holding had fallen to the floor, an apple falling out.

“jacob!” changmin yelled. “what are you doing? this is- i can’t believe you’d-”

jacob looked at him guiltily, “what did i do exactly?”

sunwoo turned to changmin shoving him, “what, so is he not allowed to kiss anymore?” he paused. “though i admit this is an odd sight…” he blushed, looking away.

changmin let out an exasperated sigh, dragging sunwoo out, “let’s go to the convenience store. i need to get ou-”

you heard sunwoo mumble to himself, "i thought he was the angel of the group..."

you laughed, turning back to jacob, still sitting on his lap. “so… they don’t expect you to give affection to me?”

he shrugged sheepishly, “usually it’s me doing it to them,” he paused, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. “maybe they’re jealous…”

you playfully slapped him, “don’t be ridiculous.”

[newtdrawz]

I'm rereading the outsiders rn and like (this accidentally turned into a rant where nothing I say makes sense my b 😭)

"I don't care about Darry. But I was still lying and I knew it. I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me."

Why would he say this? Why would,,, PLEASE. IM SICK. ILL.

Darry and Pony's relationship is something so special to me,,, it's so,,, omg. Like a whole page dedicated to how he doesn't care if Darry doesn't like him/care about him but he literally says over and over that he does care,, I'm sick over these two 😭😭

Literally earlier in the book when Pony gets jumped and Darry's the first one at his side and he's shaking him and immediately apologizes,, I'm gonna VOMIT.

"Darry's always rough with me without meaning to be." "I'm okay. Quit shaking me, Darry, I'm okay" He stopped instantly. "I'm sorry."

That's why the part where he hits him is so,,, literally insane,, ik people joke abt it all the time and call him whiney especially cuz of Johnny's situation,, but literally like,, ok so,, 😭😭

Imagine you're a little guy (😭😭) like Pony's only 14 (and remember how awful being 14 was 😭 you hate everything and everyone and you feel weird/awful 24/7) and he explains how no one in his family ever raised a hand at him or hit him and he thinks Darry can't stand him, he thinks Darry wants to send him away and that he's only a thorn in his side. So Imagine how terrifying it is for your big brother (who's like huge might I add) slapping you and you're thinking "Oh my god,, he really does hate me. This was it. He really doesn't like me." Like yeah he's gonna be scared and he's gonna go to the one person he trusts the most and even Johnny was like "wth??? What??? Omg???"

And imagine Darry's guilt,, I'm not justifying him hitting Pony cuz there definitely was a better solution 😭 but like he's only 20, raising two teens, working all the time and they're all dealing with the loss of their parents. So many things have gone wrong to lead to this outcome and you can bet he regrets it everytime he thinks about it,,

Pony was valid for being scared is what I'm basically saying,, 😭😭 and their complicated relationship really just gets me all the time and I'm obsessed with them growing and getting better cuz that's all I want for them and I love them the end 🫶

[francis-writes]

oml i am literally OBSESSED with rabban and no one writes for him except you! (thank you so much for that, genuinely)

i was wondering if you could write some headcanons or a scenario where the f!s/o of rabban is caught by him wearing some of his clothes because they don’t see eachother often?

im not sure if harkonnen have like clothes that aren’t meant to be worn in battle, but for the sake of this, maybe it could be something like a cloak?

(maybe you could throw in some nsfw too if that would be ok?)

thank you so much in advance!! :D and have a great day/night/evening

Okay, so I already mentioned that unfortunately Rabban spends most of the time away from you, on military missions. Depending on the situation, you only see each other during the nights, or he's away for a few weeks straight. In theory, House Harkonnen and Giedi Prime in general are heavily based on its military power, but other members of his family and people on higher positions spend part of their time on councils and creating strategy, meanwhile Rabban works almost exclusively in the field.

You don't have much to do and even if you find yourself a hobby, that's still not enough to distract your attention from yearning, especially that you share a room with Rabban and everything reminds you about him. It's probably not helpful but sometimes when you're free, you just sit there with his his things or clothes that still smell of his body (at least when you manage to hide them from servants collecting laundry).

(By the way, I suppose there are more casual clothes, but these are mainly shirts and other things worn under "armor" or however you call these protective parts of clothing; and also elegant outfits like that robe/coat worn by Piter de Vries. But yeah, I guess most clothes are made to be useful both everyday and during possible combat; there also might be some things like nightgowns and pajamas unless most Harkonnens prefer to sleep naked)

But even when you're busy with something, at least in your chambers, you started to wear his clothes. Unless you're well-built like him, these clothes are too big and hang on you but that's kinda comforting. It reminds you how you feel in his arms, when he embraces you and you nuzzle into his chest, feeling hidden and protected from the world.

Anyway, Rabban didn't know about your little habit, not that you deliberately hid that fact... well, you simply didn't mention it in conversations and you took off his clothes when you knew he was gonna come back soon. It wasn't a crime but you would feel a bit awkward admitting it. It was too sentimental behaviour, nothing that a Harkonnen would approve of.

But it all changed one day when Rabban came back earlier from his mission and somehow no servant came to inform you (well, maybe he ordered them to keep a secret on purpose, because he wanted to surprise you; or perhaps it was another of the little accidents that create every story). You didn't expect to see him before the next day, so when he entered your shared room, you were still dressed in his oversized shirt.

While he was walking there, he was really excited and full of intense conflicting emotions - happiness and arousal before seeing you, anger, anxiety and stress after the last fights, fear about reaction of his uncle... but when he stood in that door and saw you standing there in his shirt, all those worries disappeared for a moment. He just looked at you, slightly surprised.

You were surprised as well and you weren't sure what to say in this situation, so you just said "You're early..." and didn’t explain anything more.

Rabban just nodded and got in, closing the door behind him. He walked closer and eyed you up. "Is that my shirt?"

You felt a bit embarrassed so you looked away from his face and explained "Yes. Sorry that I didn't ask but I missed you and this, uhhh... this reminded me about you and made me feel as if you were close... I know it probably sounds silly, but-"

"No, it doesn't" Rabban interrupted you and took you in his arms, pressing you to his body. You looked at him and he seemed actually... happy? Touched? Slightly turned on?

He kissed you and his hands slided under this shirt, caressing your naked body. When he broke the kiss, he looked at you with a smile. "That's really... well, how do call it... nice, sweet..."

You raised your eyebrow "Cute?"

He nodded. "Yeah, cute"

Rabban pulled you on the bed until you landed on top of him. He embraced you with his arms and smiled gratefully as you caressed his cheek with your hand.

"You could tell me, I would leave you more things. But apart from that, I think it was kinda unfair, since I didn't get anything from you for my travel"

"I am sorry, but I doubt that my clothes would fit you-"

"Who says anything about wearing them? It would be enough to see and touch them. Or, if you wore them for some time, I could still feel your smell" Rabban smiled and kissed you again. His fingers caressed your inner thigh and you shivered under his touch.

"What part of clothing do you have on mind?" You asked jokingly, but Rabban replied in completely serious tone:

"I am not picky, I will be happy with whatever you give me"

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[jascurka]

this is purely out of curiosity and i don't want to send hate your way, but do you ship mob and reigen? and if so, why?

I do, yeah. An ex-friend of mine asked me the exact same question (just more... harshly I think and with what I assumed was prejudice) before they decided to part our ways and I could never properly answer them because I was so stressed by the situation, it was hard to gather my thoughts. So I'll do my best to explain here, hopefully to make myself understood better.

Sorry if this gets lenghty >_< I'll just put a readmore right here.

I think the biggest reason for why I like them is their canon relationship that has been explored in the series already quite thoroughly - that they have changed eachother, helped eachother grow and one wouldn't be the person they are without the other. I think most of us understand the depth of it. Reigen is Mob's teacher and friend, someone like an older brother. There surely is a strong bond between them and they've seen each other at their best and worst and still acknowledged and accepted eachother's flaws. They trust eachother, they would give their life for eachother even (at least Reigen would, he almost did in the finale after all). And I do think that they love eachother but in a way that isn't actually romantic in canon. I'm perfectly capable of realizing that and I value it a lot both in the series and in fanworks (one of my fav works of fanfiction is about exactly that).

It was my curiosity that made me search up a ship fic of them, I was just confused why people ship them in the first place and whether it can be good and I found myself enjoying it a lot (to my surprise). It was set into the future, and dealt with some serious topics like loss and acceptance, it was kind of bittersweet. Then I felt that maybe it was just slightly ooc because all of the serirei fics I was busy reading depicted Reigen slightly different. Nontheless, I had the other ship on my mind then so I never really dived into Mob/Reigen, but it changed my perspective on them a lot.

And at some point into all this I realized, why not? Why can't I haz 2 cookies? (god im sorry that was terrible sfjgsdkj). What I mean is that the buildup canon offers can be taken further - more of their relationship can be explored in terms of new tropes, sometimes romantic too.

On a personal note I'll just add that I'm rather picky about them and tend to stick to fluff, hurt/comfort and slow slow burns. And I like them most post-canon, a few years into the future. It turns out that it all depends on how they're portrayed for me to like them anyways. I talked on here recently about a work that really had it all and portrayed their relationship in a very satisfying and mature way, with all the complicated feelings, it felt very realistic, especially on Reigen's side. So if anyone wants, here's a rec from me again -> in my dreams (I seem to be more honest) on ao3, just because I think it has all that I like about the ship.

I think that this is the whole point of fanworks - to kind of look further and have fun with it, to see "what if?". Even if it's something sort of.. taboo I guess? Because you get to take it apart in a fictional dimension (if that makes sense). And I completely understand if this is something that can ick some people out or that someone doesn't want to ruin their perception of the characters' relationship. That's totally fine by me and I'm not going to force anyone into liking the ship of course. And there are definitely tropes and tags I really don't want to look into - not everything is for me either.

And I think this goes without saying but I'll add it here anyways: what I like to see in fiction doesn't mean I would like or encourage anyone to do the same thing in real life! It's just interesting to explore from a safe distance where no one can get hurt.

[mysticbeaver]

randomly asking cuz im curious lmao but what kind of music are you into? what are your favorite artists and songs? from what i've seen you're mostly into classic rock, right? (which btw the classic rock to eene pipeline is really funny and quite fascinating but that's another story.)

Oh I'm glad you asked!!! Boy now I can go on a rant 😁

Ok, I'm one of those folks who have a hard time explaining what kind of music I listen to... classic rock was definitely my upbringing since I was a child - like the Who, Led Zep, AC/DC (I feel slightly embarassed by that nowadays, sorry AC/DC fans 😅 good memories tho).

As a teen I started going into 70s progressive rock, especially King Crimson, which I consider my favorite band ever for the simple fact I've been able to stomach pretty much everything they ever put out, even the most self-indulgent and tough to listen stuff (the "ProjeKcts"). I also fell in love with some art-pop (Peter Gabriel, David Sylvian) and generally got more adventurous and tried to slowly discover other artists (but always unabashedly behind the times haha). I went through a Bowie phase, tbf I still don't think I truly "get" Bowie lol, but one of his most interesting albums to me is Outside, probably the weirdest thing he's ever done. I also got into some electronic stuff, Tangerine Dream, Yello (two funny looking swiss guys, you might be familiar with that meme song Oh Yeah lmao). I'm also extremely familiar with Tom Waits... (I'll mention Captain Beefheart since we're at it) I've delved into jazz here and there, Pat Metheny is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm pathetically ignorant on the genre.

The latest artist I went through a phase and now consider one of my favorites is the band Talk Talk. Their short history is mindblowing, they went from "80s one-hit-wonder pop band" to making music completely out of its time. The Color Of Spring is the best 80s-pop-album-that-doesn't-sound-80s I've ever heard, and Spirit Of Eden is... something, lmao. That album and their last one, Laughing Stock were apparently very influential on later artists in the 90s and onwards, and are now considered masterpieces despite not selling very well at the time. The enigmatic band leader Mark Hollis eventually took the genius decision to... retire (gasp) and disappear from public view for the rest of his life (I think some "artists" out there could learn a lesson from that 🤐)

John Martyn's album One World is another recent favorite, a folk rock guitarist who got kinda trippy/experimental and recorded an album by a small lake, sometimes recording the sound of the speakers in the distance... there's a beautiful track on there called Small Hours where you can even faintly hear the geese.

Finally I want to mention two historical italian artists I'm familiar with - Franco Battiato and Lucio Battisti. I've always shunned music from my country when I was younger, but I'm trying to make up for it, and those two really captivated me (although if you grew up in Italy you can't escape hearing Battisti's more famous hit songs, also apparently Bowie was a big fan, so I've read...)

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg, what came to my head right now. Btw, I wanna know what the "classic rock to eene pipeline" is haha

[fanficfanatic000]

Eddie Munson x fem reader scary how I hate you

Eddie Munson x fem Warning Enemies to lovers Bullying. Chrissy mean girl. Halloween party halloween themed 18+ part 2

:scary how i hate you :

4 days have passed And all you could think about is the party and eddie munson.. it's stupid how he hates me but I still have feelings for him but I guess I'm dumb. ugghh! You put on the costume and drip fake blood from your red lipsticked lips damn its time for the party Robin is gonna Pick me up.

In the car

"Soo you sure you want to go to this party because if no then you and me can go watch a movie." "Yeah i told steve that ill be there so ill be there" "even if eddie and Chrissy will be there?" "Yes even if"

The party

Me and Robin got out of the car and " I'm guessing we walk the rest of the way in" "yeah i guess we do " You walk through the woods crunchy leafs and all no signs of anyone "y/n maybe we should head back." "No just let me listen…" You heard a crunch of leafs from behind you. And you turn only to see the two people you hate most eddie and Chrissy. "Fuck" you whispered then you look at Robin she gives you a look of sorry they're even here. Eddie sees you in your costume and red lipstick "wow i-i" Chrissy interrupts "y/n you look dumb.. " You roll your eyes and kept walking until you came apon a cabin Steve's parents cabin with a pool you walk to the door and knocked twice . Steve answers "Hey guys cmon in." You walk in to music in the background playing a couple making out in the hall and beer pong Robin:"im gonna go get some punch " she walks over to the punch bowl to Nancy wheeler her crush . You sit on the couch already feeling like a outsider then he sat next to you eddie munson in a demon costume while Chrissy is an angel Well I guess when you only bully one person it makes sense "Heyy" he says a small smirk on his face "Hi eddie" "remember when we almost became Freinds" you were surprised he even mentioned it. "Yeah i do how could i forget it " "you know I wish you didn't hate me." "What do you mean .you hate me…." "whatever…want some punch your friend is taking a little.. long" "yeah i-i actually do " he walks away to get punch and Chrissy approaches him grabs the cup of red punch and pours it on you "heres your punch" that's when you finally had it you cried and ran away upstairs to the bathroom you closed the door and fell to the floor crying about everything it finally just all fell out mascara running down your face.

Down stairs Eddie:"Chrissy what did you do " Chrissy:"i gave her punch " Eddie:"your unbelievable and i wanna know did y/n really say that i was a freak and she hated me or was it lies" Chrissy:"i-it was the truth no matter what she says shes the lier" Eddie" shes not though is she " Chrissy looks at the floor Eddie thinks to himself I have to try to fix this

Mascara running down your face until you heard a knock then he let himself in It's eddie "y/n" "what WHAT do you want to be my friend make me fall for you then just ignore me and be angry at me and not even tell me whats wrong then breaks my heart even more by getting with Chrissy..and continues to pop into my life and remind me of what i lost…" tears streaming down your chin and eyes as you explain he doesn't say anything except closed and locked the door and sat down in front of you "i-im so sorry y/n i just want to give you an awnser of why….chrissy told me that you called me a freak and hated me and it made me think how could a girl like you ever like me so i ran and im so sorry for making you hurt but i dont hate you never could." Eddie grabs a toilet paper and wipes the mascara off your face "y/n can I drive you home?" "Yeah.." the metal headed boy walked you to his van opened the door and drove you home. "We're here." "Eddie" "hmm?" "I-i love you " He smiled took a breath "i love you " You leaned towards him slowly then he grabbed you and pulled you close into a kiss. "Will you be my girlfriend?" "Yes"

A day later You and eddie made it official Chrissy hates it and you got payback by turning the school sprinklers ha You and eddie are happier then ever And Robin got with Nancy last night

[simonstamenovic]

sorry. 5 million asks upon you whenever you wake up but unfortunately im on the grind playing. so the vocal stim was what i thought it was, but it requires some context bc she is so silly and funny to me. so cohlune had asked shalvas hey. go find some nuts for me in the forest. theyre VERY important to curing this disease. and so shalvas does and brings them back. muefell is curious about them so cohlune encourages her to take a look at them and she just. eats them all. (which honestly. very funny of her. i respect it) which is why shes saying that bc it tastes similar to the food. both cohlune and shalvas are like oh. 😶 she ate all of them okay. neither of them are upset about it (in terms of getting mad at her) but i wanted to give the context. it is kind of crazy to me how you saying that cohlune is similar to jaskier because the more i think about it, the more similar shalvas is to geralt in like. a few specific ways. cohlune later asks shalvas to get smth else for him and shalvas is SO upset abt his effort being wasted that hes just like this time, go gather it yourself. their dynamic is so funny bc shalvas is normally like. not super impolite but towards cohlune he seems to trust him (like he doesn't trust this other guy, but as SOON as cohlune is like oh hes telling the truth, shalvas is like oh ok.) but is also like yeah i will be fed up with you.

in terms of other updates. muefell loving danger and going big wet eyes mode at cohlune works VERY often but not when he knows she will be in active danger. he really really cares about her a lot. ill just copy paste what i wrote for summarizing this section here (sorry this is so obscenely long. you WILL learn about cohlune and muefell its important). for a bit of context, ikauipe is at war rn and also being plagued with the disease so its well. not good for her.

"Muefell enters the room, and Cohlune asks her why she has such a big backpack. She just simply says, “Ikuaipe, let’s go.” Shalvas asks if she plans on following him and she says yes. Cohlune tells her no, as Ikuaipe is currently at war and is in a frenzy. She is silent, and as Cohlune attempts to explain why, he stops because she is looking at him in a sad manner. He asks for her to not look at him like that, but puts his foot down, saying that this time it’s definitely not okay for her to go, and if she goes, he will be upset. She is silent for a while before asking for a souvenir and Cohlune agrees to it, saying that’s a cheap option and tells Shalvas that that’s about it. Shalvas asks why this is happening and Cohlune asks for him to please stand up for him. Everyone is silent for a while before Shalvas admits he can’t help it and asks what she wants. She says that friends are better and asks for him to bring her a friend. Shalvas is confused by what she means by friends, and Cohlune explains that if there is a creature he can find, he would like for him to catch it, with Muefell confirming that is what she meant. Mistos is surprised, as he didn’t know that Shalvas had become such good friends with Muefell. Shalvas asks if it seems that they (him and Muefell) get along well and Mistos says that he can see it. Shalvas still seems a bit unsure though."

it kind of kills me that shalvas is like? really? we're friends (autism trait soooo much to me personally) and also kills me that she wants friends. like god i think she is genuinely so isolated w how her parents dont seem to be around her a lot and it seems like cohlune is the only person she really opened up to before shalvas (cohlune even says that hes surprised she CAN open up when she starts being nicer to shalvas)

I think I love everything about this

also massively curious abt the characters for muefell... jst mueheru or something else ?