#yeah this is going to make creating my character references SO much easier

[applesofdaventry]

I found this application called "Umodel" that lets me view assets (like animations and such) from Unreal Engine games. It's very neat! It's easy to use and I can export files too.

So, it turns out that King's Quest 2015 is an Unreal Engine game. And I found a plugin that lets you import UE files to blender.

So...

I can manipulate Alexander like a puppet! Hehe.

[arcade-confetti]

Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this

[1moreff-creator]

Now that you've had some time to cool down from the Fuckfest of Friday Night, I'm a little curious on what you think of MonoTV's whole deal, because I haven't seen anyone actually talk about it much and that makes me so upset because wow Dev somehow managed to get me to care about this piece of steel

Spoilers up to the end of CH2

Hey! Yeah, MonoTV, huh? With everything else going on, this thing kinda got pushed aside, but there's been some really interesting developments indeed. I agree though, it's genuinely pretty incredible dev managed to get me to care about what up to this point had been nothing but a device for plot and humor.

You know, I originally wanted to keep this brief to give my full thoughts on the full part 2 analysis I'm working on, but maybe it's better if I just talk about it in full here and just link to this post from that one. Let me start by the theory side, because that's easier for me to write about :v

While MonoTV's creation being connected to XF-Ture Tech was always a very real possibility, the confirmation that at least its personality drivers come from them is nice. And there doesn't seem to be any type of repurposing going on:

MonoTV: Whenever I make a decision, ultimately, I must make the choice that fulfills my purpose [to run the killing game until the death of every participant]. After all, that was why I was created.

While we don't fully understand how this all fits together yet, I'm glad XF is being brought up because that might mean Min content in the future? For me, please? :,D

Anyways. Having a clearly stated goal for the killing game (killing all the participants) is also pretty useful for theory-crafting purposes, so look forward to seeing that line referenced in mastermind discussions moving forward. Not to mention, the secondary purpose of MonoTV playing the villain, with the reasoning:

MonoTV: This so-called TV show is more about appearances than you'd think.

So... ignoring the weird phrasing of "so-called TV show" as opposed to just "TV show," because I will go crazy if I look too deep into that, the confirmation that the appearances of the killing game are important seem to confirm a suspicion Teruko had back in CH2 Ep2.

Teruko: And also, [MonoTV is designed the way it is] as a way to reference that "past killing game," right?

Assuming via context that she's talking about THH, MonoTV being specifically created and programmed to look and act sorta like Monokuma could have some interesting implications moving forward, especially given things like Duke Spurling being alive to see the Tragedy and maybe wanting a recreation of the THH killing game. Thankfully there's no character with a talent for recreating things, such as art, an art forger of some kind, because if there was this could realistically point to them as the mastermind. :)

Final note about theories: I... called it? Sort of?

[Extract from Vivisection of the David MV] What I think is the best idea [regarding the multi-colored "original"] is that all the characters [which includes MonoTV] got the word. [...] I think it makes more sense to relate them to the meaning of "original style" under my interpretation, where "original style" means a change of heart.

Well, MonoTV sure had a change of personality, albeit briefly, now didn't it? (Please ignore the fact that I dismissed the possibility of MonoTV changing in the lines following that one :p) Admittedly "characters in DRDT will have character development" is possibly my least wild theory ever, but a W is a W (?).

Alright but screw theorizing that's for insane people. Let's go for character analysis, because the fact that MonoTV has become a genuinely interesting creature to study is possibly even wilder than the XF-Ture Tech name drop.

Now, a lot of what we hear character wise is similar to stuff we heard in MonoTV's previous character building moment; CH2 EP3.

MonoTV: Does a toaster know why it toasts? Does a calculator know why it adds and subtracts? They are simply machines that do their job without needing to understand why. To that end, I don't know who made this TV show and why. All I do is carry out the directives programmed into me.

MonoTV: I have no conscience, no sense of morality, no will at all. I am merely a robot, subject to the laws of my code. I have no choice but to perform the actions that my creator dictated I must. [...] All the decisions I make were already decided by whatever entity created me, because I am a robot.

It's stated in a much more melancholic tone, given the music in the background, the sprite pose, and the generally less silly "default personality," but it's nothing really new. MonoTV is a machine, it follows programming.

Except.

MonoTV: Even if I feel pain or guilt, I cannot stop. That is the fate that I have, to make others suffer. And there is no diverging from that fate.

Hey MonoTV what the fuck does this mean.

"Even if I feel pain or guilt"? Instead of "I can't feel pain or guilt"? The choice of wording here is very interesting, because it seems to imply that MonoTV does feel pain and guilt over the killing game, regardless of how impossible that should be. The "fate" drop is pretty huge for thematic reasons, as I'm sure you're aware; Teruko explains her own feelings about it in the rest of the scene, there's Xander's speech to Teruko before he attempted to stab her, Ace talking about how he was too much of a coward to fight his fate, Arei actually defying a similar fate in a way, David with the LGI lyrics, Whit and J and Rose and so many other people, all interconnected by this damn concept. I think it'd be fine if this is all we hear about MonoTV in relation to it, but there's definitely fun parallels to explore regardless.

Given how little we have of these particular character details so far, there's not much I can say about it other than I love the concept of an AI being forced to do something it doesn't "want" to because of code, and I'm interested to see if MonoTV will act differently in the future. It's supposed to reset to its previous personality in the full reset, I imagine, but it's not like we can just ignore all the shit it said here. I'm very curious to see where dev takes this.

That said, I also wanted to point out how this vague allusion to feeling pain and guilt and possibly hopelessness against fate aren't the only feelings MonoTV exhibits. Because for some unfathomable reason, it seems to care about Teruko to an extent?

MonoTV: Is something the matter, Teruko? Everyone else has already left.

Like, maybe I'm misreading because the personality change is fucking with me, but this feels like a concern more genuine than I would expect from pre-2-16 MonoTV. And...

MonoTV: You have to decide the answer for yourself.

This, along with the little speech about Teruko's humanity that precedes it, again comes off as MonoTV genuinely trying to help her through her emotions. I don't see how this correlates with its purpose, unless it somehow "believes" that giving Teruko advice on this will somehow lead to Teruko killing someone or something to that effect, which makes no sense.

If it doesn't help kill the participants, isn't necessary for the killing game, and doesn't make MonoTV seem like a villain, then it's not related to any of its purposes. It isn't code making MonoTV say this things. It's MonoTV's... consciousness? I guess? It's very, very interesting.

I am genuinely super interested in where dev is taking MonoTV, and if you told me that was a sentence I would unironically type before this episode, I would have called you insane. The writing in this series is genuinely immaculate, I can't believe we're getting genuine basis for MonoTV angst and it's compelling. Dev does it again!

Thanks for the ask, this was fun to ramble about!

[thishazbinamistake]

Howdy!

I am here to talk about Viv's horrible character designs.

From an animator perspective, they suck.

Here's why

1. The characters have way too much detail

For animation, more lines equal more work. You're going to be drawing them over and over, and it just creates more stress and work for the animators.

For example, I took one of the most egregious designs in HB (Beelzebub) and simplified it to be animation friendly.

(Can't send it here but I'll probably make a post about it or something.)

2. There's too much of 1 color

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH RED??

Especially since they're in a primarily red background, they don't stand out AT ALL.

Like how am I supposed to see them if they blend in to the background??

3. I have no idea what half of them are supposed to be

Charlie is based off a doll?

Alastor is based off of a deer?

Katie Killjoy is based off of a praying mantis?

Angel Dust is based off of a spider?

Beelzebub is supposed to be well... Beelzebub?

When designing characters, they need to be clear on what they're supposed to be! And no, explaining it on Twitter does not count.

4. The animation reference sheets are garbage

No wonder there's so much animation errors. There's no facial expression sheets, lip sync guide, nothing. It's just a 4 angle turnaround sheet where the character is in complex poses all the time.

If you Google Lackadaisy's animation reference sheets and then look at HB's, it's like night and day.

I'm more than willing to send some examples (along with the edit I did) if you want

So yeah, what are your thoughts?

These are all great points! I think you summed up the main problems very well, but I'll elaborate on each of them. I'm no expert at character design or animation by any means, but I'll do my best to explain my points!

First of all, like you said, the character designs are way too complicated. Anyone who knows even the slightest amount about animation knows you want to simplify and streamline your designs as much as possible to make it easier on the animators. Vivzie is way too obsessed with her Deviantart OC lookin'-ass character designs to actually do this, even though it would seriously help to make the animation process way faster and easier. Beelzebub is seriously the best (or worst?) example of this.

I feel so bad for the poor souls who had to animate this. There are just way too many moving parts here, from her multiple arms, her wings, her markings, to her freaking lava lamp hair and tail?? It's just awful. And so many of Viv's designs suffer this problem, I could go on and on.

Like, I think it actually is a nice looking design, as a still image. Maybe not for the demon Beelzebub, but as a general furry OC, I think she's cute. But that's beside the point. I would love to see your redesign of her!

Next, the RED. So, most of the characters we see in Helluva Boss are red-skinned imps, which has been a common depiction of demons for centuries. One big problem I have is that there's little contrast in these designs. Let's look at our three main imps.

Aside from some white and yellow highlights, they're all mostly red and black. Their color palettes aren't distinct in the slightest! And, I mean, come on. Red accessories against what's almost the exact same shade of red skin? Really? It just doesn't look good. A little contrast here and there goes a long way, like... maybe make Moxxie's bowtie blue? Or Blitz's pendant green? I don't know, anything to help each character stand out, and help give them more visual intrigue.

It doesn't help that most of the backgrounds are primarily shades of red, too. Here's a few screenshots I found that really show this problem.

Look at all that fucking red. Like you said, there's such little color variation that the characters blend into the background. Now, to be fair, I did specifically choose these screenshots because I think they really highlight the problem, but this really is what so much of the show looks like. Granted, we do have a bit more variety in the different rings of Hell, each with their own main color, but this is still too much red, considering how much the color comprises the main characters' designs.

Next, like you said, Vivzie is really bad at making characters actually look like the things they're supposed to look like. Let's take Alastor as an example!

Oh boy! More red and black. So, Alastor here is supposed to be a deer. What's the first physical characteristic that comes to mind when you think of a deer?

Yeah, those big, impressive antlers! So... where are his? Oh, they're those tiny little forks on his head that are almost entirely obscured by his stupid emo hair. Like, come on! Giving him bigger antlers would have made him look so much cooler and more intimidating, and it would have been a great focal point for his design! It's such a missed opportunity. (I know he has bigger antlers in his scarier "demon" form, but you still could have made these a little more impressive.) And don't even get me started on those ears... they look more like fox ears or something. Like you said, a good design shouldn't need to be explained through supplementary material. We should be able to tell what a character is supposed to be just from looking at them!

Another great example is Angel Dust, who, despite being a spider, lacks so many distinct features we associate with spiders! He only has six legs instead of eight, he doesn't have pedipalps or chelicerae, and he also lacks that big old spider booty, which I think is such a missed opportunity, considering he is supposed to be in the sex industry. He isn't even remotely shaped like a spider, he looks more like a fuzzy stick bug or something.

Part of me feels like Viv is too afraid to make her characters look unique, so she just goes with the same, skinny humanoid design for just about everything. It's such a shame, because I really do think she is a talented artist who can make some really interesting designs. But then again, she also gave us Beelzebub, so... maybe not.

As for the reference sheets, maybe I wasn't looking hard enough but I couldn't find any official ones for the main characters, so if you could send those my way I would appreciate it! Though it honestly wouldn't surprise me if they were bad. I did look up Lackadaisy's and found them pretty easily and...

This is so freaking comprehensive and detailed, it's incredible! Look at all those poses and facial expressions!

Comparing Vivzie's works to Tracy's feels kind of unfair, since Tracy has been working on Lackadaisy for 17 years, and it really shows. This is leaps and bounds above Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel in quality. Rocky's design is tight; it's detailed, but not overly complicated. There isn't an obnoxious overuse of highly saturated colors, and there's such nice contrast between his fur, his eyes, suit, and tie, making his design very nice to look at. You can also tell so much about his personality and the world he lives in just from his appearance. It's such a good design, and Rocky is just one example from Lackadaisy! All of Tracy's designs are memorable and stand out from one another, unlike so many of Vivzie's characters, whose designs honestly feel interchangable.

So much thought and care has gone into Lackadaisy, and I seriously cannot wait for the full series, as well as all the other amazing indie animated series that have been coming out recently. It's sad that Helluva Boss is seen as the pinnacle of indie animation, when there are so many other series out there that are just.. better! Lackadaisy, obviously, but we've also got Digital Circus, Murder Drones, Monkey Wrench, and so many others that deserve way more appreciation than what Helluva Boss receives. And that's just from an art direction standpoint, we aren't even talking about writing. That's a whole other can of worms.

All of that being said, it's obvious that a ton of love and hard work went into Helluva Boss, and I hold absolutely nothing against the animators and artists at Spindlehorse. These poor design choices are a hallmark of Vivzie's art style, and they're simply working with what they've got. There is such wasted potential here because it feels like Vivzie is too afraid to step outside her comfort zone and design something that isn't a brightly colored, sharp-toothed twink, or skinny anthro wolf girl.

Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts. Thanks for the ask, this was fun to delve into! And again, I'd be very interested in seeing you post your redesigns! 👀

[dailyadventureprompts]

As someone overburdened with ideas it's SO hard figuring out what campaign I'm going to run next. I've got a group of players slowly coagulating but I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I'm going to put infront of them for session 0. The problem is that while I have no shortage of raw narrative material the vast majority of it doesn't easily snap together to coherent campaigns, to say nothing of those ideas that seem fun but haven't yet developed enough to fill out all of my checklist.

Decisive intro: One of my must haves is the idea that there's an initial concept/motivation baked into the campaign pitch that the players can latch onto when building their characters. It's so much easier than my earlier days of " Alright people we're playing d&d make your characters on your own and we'll see how the group sorts itself out by the first session."

Central gameplay mechanic: An understanding of what the players are going to be doing most of the time to progress the plot. Mysteries involve investigating, pirate games include naval battles, sprawling political epics involve diplomacy and spycraft. Just like with the intro, this lets your players create characters who are conceptually and mechanically relevant to the game as it unfolds. Likewise it's a good idea to have the central mechanic reflected in some way in the intro adventure. If its a heist game, make them steal something.

Bulletproof first act adventure: Carrying through on the momentum of the intro, dealing with its consequences, confronting its villains, getting the party tangled up in various other plot threads but tying off neatly at the end.

Strong idea for future arcs of the campaign: To provide those previously mentioned plot threads and enough background worldbuilding. No idea what adventure hooks the party will bite down on but It's my policy to always pack a full tacklebox.

Touchstones: Another unexpected but absolutely necessary inclusion is to give your players a smattering of different pieces of media for them to reference as to the tone and boundaries of this campaign. Is your classic medieval fantasy Lord of The Rings gravity, Narnian wonder, or Montypython absurdity? You HAVE to get the whole party on the same page about it.

What drives all this frustration into actual absurdity is that most players don't even have strong opinions about which campaign they're playing, they're just happy to show up and play whatever amazing thing I've made for them. You think that'd make this easier but it doesn't!

Please, if you're ever in one of my games, have opinions and be loud about them. Be flexible, yeah, but be forward with your likes and expectations.

[beffalumps]

hi there! recent art school grad here and i was wondering if u have any tips on learning color + approaching backgrounds? even though i learned a lot, i still find myself struggling with these focuses, especially colors as i never had a class that really taught me that. thanks so much 💗 your work is so lovely

First off, congrats on graduating!! Backgrounds and colors have always been the hardest for me lol tbh I still struggle a lot with colors especially, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt!

Using adjustment layers helps me a lot (especially color balance to make things more unified or complementary).

Another thing that I think has REALLY helped me with color overall is actually switching between color and grayscale.

In photoshop I set up a custom proof profile and then am able to switch back and forth by using the hotkey Ctrl + Y. This helps me check my values which, I've found if you have solid values, colors tend to work so much better even if you don't know much about what you're doing lol. Another way to do this is making a solid black layer on top of all your color layers and setting the blending mode to "Color". Then you can toggle that on and off to look at the values.

One last thing I've played with re: colors is finding a reference that has the colors I like and "crystalizing" it and color picking a palette from that.

This can be super helpful if you're having a hard time visualizing or coming up with a color palette!

As for backgrounds, they became a lot easier for me when I started looking at them like their own character. Thinking about the story I'm trying to tell, adding little details that I think would add to that or be fun and fun ways for the character to interact with it.

That and doing value sketches/just a bunch of really quick and sloppy experiments. 9 times out of 10, they don't work out, but sometimes they spark something that turns into something fun and workable!

This has gotten really long for someone that really just bs's their way through every piece, but I will say one thing that was a big game changer for me (in my personal opinion, who knows if other people think so lmao) and it's just incorporating aerial perspective. Making things a bit more blue tinted (or whatever the sky color is) and lighter as they recede into the background. Has made a huge difference for me when it comes to creating depth!

I really don't know if any of this is helpful because to be 100% honest, most of my illustrations are just product of trial and error lol. But practicing and making a lot of really bad scribbles have (I think) helped me the most, so yeah my biggest advice with anything is just look at lots of art, just draw and don't worry if it looks bad because tbh, it probably will at first. But you'll get better!

@tamberella Has a ton of amazing free resources and brushes, so if you haven't checked out their stuff, definitely do so!

@iniro also has some really nice tutorials on color (and other topics) available so I'd also recommend looking at those too!

But yeah, sorry for going on about my hair-brained process, I hope at least some of this was helpful!

[twilightofthesandwiches]

Okay, so I accidentally thought about Stage Productions of Dr. Horrible Where There’s Not Enough Male Actors So Billy is Played By a Woman too hard again. And the thing is, well,  I say ‘Stage Productions of Dr. Horrible Where There’s Not Enough Male Actors So Billy is Played By a Woman’ and not, like, ‘Female!Billy Productions’ because in all of the ones I’ve seen the script is unchanged and so the character is still textually a man. Super-minor characters like the Mayor and the two Newscasters or even Bad Horse can sometimes get genderswapped, but usually the kind of people dedicated enough to DHSAB to want to create their own recreation of it don’t want to change the script too much. So Billy remains gendered the same way he is in the original.

But also… Dr. Horrible isn’t gendered that much in the text of the script. Like, he gets talked about in third-person way less often than the other two leads (so there’s less places where he would be called he/him/himself), he’s not referred to using gendered terms as often as the two other leads, ‘Billy’ can work as a gender-neutral name and ‘Dr. Horrible’ is 100% gender-neutral. As such, the only textual references to Dr. Horrible being a dude are:

Refers to himself as a guy in ‘My Freeze Ray’: ‘I’m the guy who makes it real/the feelings you don’t dare to feel’

Refers to himself as a man in the title line of ‘A Man’s Gotta Do’

Moist calls him a man in the line ‘look at me, Man, I’m Moist!’

Refers to himself as a guy in ‘Brand New Day’, ‘Go ahead and laugh/Yeah I’m a funny guy!’

The one time Dr. Horrible is called by a third person pronoun is during ‘So They Say’, when Moist notes that ‘he’s still not picking up’

During ‘Everything You Ever’, he sings ‘My victory’s complete/so hail to the king’. Implicitly calling himself a ‘king’.

So, like, what that means is that if a production did just want to genderswap Billy… it’ll be considerably easier than doing it with either of the other two leads. There’s basically just a few lines you have to change and basically nothing else.  

Like, ‘I’m the gal who makes it real’ is really a no-brainer. ‘a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do’ is an Idiom and I could see a woman quoting it without it meaning anything. (And in a pinch you can replace it with the gender-neutral ‘one’s gotta do what one’s gotta do' or maybe 'I've gotta do what I've gotta do').

“He’s still not picking up” often gets cut from stage reworks of ‘So They Say’ anyways or swapped for something like ‘Doc’s still not picking up’ to make it clear who’s Moist talking to without the Magic the Kuleshov Effect Really. The only line that offers any meaningful challenge is in ‘Brand New Day’ and 'Everything You Ever' cause that use of ‘guy’ and 'king' is part of a rhyme, but I still feel like it’s not the toughest one to solve. 

… of course, I keep saying the three main characters because Moist isn’t actually gendered once in the entire script. So basically every time a production gets a girl to play Moist that Moist has a Gender Quantum Position. 

But, with all due respect to Moist and their Quantum Gender, that’s just not a change I find as interesting as the possibility of a Female Billy. Like, hey! We’ve got a second female character who is not primarily defined through her romantic relationships and survives through the end of the narrative and has a kind of a Gross Power you don’t really see for a female super-character, that’s… kinda neat. But I don’t really think there’s anything in here that really shakes the basic thematic undercurrents of the movie the way Female Billy does. Female Billy has a really the highest rate of Implied Changes to the Meaning of the Text Caused by the Change Vs. Actual Changes Required to the Text

Because, okay, look… Would making Dr. Horrible a woman fix every single thematic problem people have with the DHSAB Narrative forever and ever and make it the Politically Perfect-est Musical Ever? Nah. Does it arguably create its own set of problems with the whole Tragic Toxic Lesbian Trope? Yeah… 

But that’s why I’m advocating for it not as some sort of Remake that’s gonna be the New Definitive Version That Fixes Everything, but as a stage production. A new version that exists in the Kaleidoscopic Multiverse of takes that the stage inherently creates. Not Ultimate, not Definitive, not ‘The’ version. Just A Version I think should exist. Because even if it’s not a change that’ll Fix Everything, it’s still gonna change things in a way I, personally, find very Compelling.

And I was thinking, as part of this train of thought, that if I were to do Lesbian Billy, that for Penny’s role, I would try and cast a girl with a very butch and/or nonconformist haircut. Cause, like, at the start, the one line Billy wants to tell Penny is

And that way you can connect it with how nonconformist hairstyles are used as a way to communicate queerness to other queer people with some plausible deniability from Mainstream Society. So it’s not just that it helps explain ‘oh, that’s why Billy even assumes her attraction could be mutual’, wanting to tell Penny that she loves her hair is a whole thing of

Or rather, because it’s Billy, more like

So that’s another layer of Added Thematic Meaning just via casting choices, without changing anything about the exact text of the script!

And, you know, charity, compassion and kindness are not Exclusively Feminine Traits. Penny could be kinda gender-nonconformist while also being innocent and maybe a bit naive. And, y’know, she’s a damsel in distress when compared to the characters who have super-strength and super-science at their disposal.

And then I thought, well, maybe we can also show Penny dressing more feminine during her time dating Captain Hammer, so there’s kind of an unspoken implication to the audience that maybe CH is pressuring her into being more gender-conformiming. Which isn’t just a New Way in Which Captain Hammer is terrible,  it also connects with how he, as a superhero, functions as an upholder of the status que that Billy is trying to upends (and again, it makes ‘love your hair!’ an actually Really Important Line! It’s Billy showing that, even if her attraction right now is kinda shallow. She is appreciating something about Penny that is her choice and CH is probably trying to take away from her.)

And, like, even in readings of the DHSAB narrative that try and make it as critical of Billy as possible, you always kind hit a snug that there is also an unspoken but present assumption, that while Billy does kinda suck, he could’ve been a good romantic partner to Penny if he just Got Over His Shit and is still always better than Captain Hammer despite… not really doing a good job establishing why. 

So this thread does give at least one clear reason for why Captain Hammer is absolutely worse for Penny than Billy is, without necessarily letting Billy off the hook for all the way she does still kinda Suck.

You know, since we’re talking about changing as little of the actual dialogue as possible, the audience might not be able to tell if Penny is an out-and-proud Bi woman and Captain Hammer is pressuring her to be less Obviously Queer or if she still hasn’t fully processed that her affinity towards gender-nonconformity is also somewhat connected to her sexuality and the whole debacle is her shoving herself deeper into the closet… but I think that if the audience notice Penny suddenly changing into girlier clothing after she starts getting close to Captain Hammer that’ll be enough to create a visceral “Oh, this guy is BAD” reaction of sort.

Plus, like, the way the narrative kinda treats Penny slowly sobering up to Captain Hammer’s bullshit and realizing she’s not actually in love with him

is treated as interchangeable with the process of her gradually falling in love with Billy

that would hit as less Weird, at least thematically, if we have that thread of Captain Hammer representing, like, Heteronormativity and the Patriarchy Billy and Penny both being girls....

And that’s when I came to realization

of what I was actually doing.

[tartsinarat]

Luz decides to try alchemy and Pip offers to help.

For a week Luz has to use a mechanical arm and leg as a replacement for her real one and Pip’s soul is stuck inside an armor until Eda finds another philosopher soul.

They’re both surprisingly cool with it, especially since Luz can now cast magic without glyphs.

Can’t believe I’ve managed to inadvertently summoned some fma fans to my blog but like tbh the ven diagram between fans of toh and of fma probably does intersect quite a bit with how similar both series are in specific aspects so im not too surprised, but im definitely not complaining as its one of my favourite manga’s and anime’s ever :3

(Oh also be prepared for a long weirdly philosophical tangent at the end…sorry not sorry)

As much as I love this idea/reference I actually don’t know if it could happen? Like in the previous ask that stated a similar idea to this one but with smol King and Pip I kinda let it slide mainly because it’s King who ends up getting the same fate as Alphonse

But because it’s Luz and Pip, with Pip specifically in Al’s place, I’m kinda torn between being like “yeah let’s make it canon to the au as it’s really in character and fun” to “hold on- would this even make sense lore wise?”

Like not because it’s not something that wouldn’t happen, like let’s face it…They're both really smart but when they’re put together, are just complete dumbasses and don’t even realise it. So it’s a kinda given that these two would fuck around and find out so hard that they literally loose an arm, a leg and a whole body.

Though on the other hand I’m not actually 100% sure if Pip (also Hunter as well) even has a soul in the first place for Luz to stick inside the armour?

Like from what I’ve gathered from the show is that a grimwalker is essentially a homunculus (specifically one based on 16th century European alchemy but obviously wayyyy more pg as European alchemists in those times do be wildin) but with maybe a touch of necromancy involved? So they may not actually have souls due to being artificially created which I find really interesting

There’s also the added bonus that Pip is just meant to be an eventual replacement body for Belos so it could be the case that Pip is an empty vessel of sorts so he’s easier to eventually possess and just fully take over

Also I really don’t like the tropes associated to soulless characters, it feels kinda reductive and dehumanising to reduce a person’s emotions and personality to whether or not they have a soul (I guess that’s the point in most media as the soul is usually associated with humanity but I don’t see a show like the owl house even if it’s just an au doing something so tropey, without at least subverting it? As well two of it’s important themes are understanding and acceptance, like it’s not going to dehumanise someone just for the sake of it due to something they can’t control)

Which is why instead, it really doesn’t matter if they do or do not have a soul, with or without it wouldn’t change how Pip’s (and Hunter’s) personality or personhood in any way as that’s who they are and have grown to be like due to their lived experiences. Like Pip wouldn’t just suddenly act less arrogant and emotionally constipated if he had a soul or act more so if he didn’t, as that’s just how he is. If that makes sense?

Also if they were soulless, it would be interesting to explore their dynamic with Belos if that makes sense? Like they act more “human” and empathetic than their creator who sees them as lesser and disposable despite being living, thinking beings who can feel and act freely? Like it’s pretty interesting to think about overall

But yeah unfortunately this is one of those things that’s really complicated to explore and do it justice so I’m probably going to leave up to interpretation for now? I don’t feel equipped enough to handle something that’s so extremely loaded with the grace it deserves and needs with my currently state of maturity and writing

So uh in short, this ask is now both canon and non canon at the same time, your welcome :D

[blueskittlesart]

hi :] this isnt really a reqest cuz it'll prob be a longer answer but im rlly curious abt ur comic process

i love all ur comics and somehow they always manage to gutpunch me- and ur composition and the way they read is always so beautiful and adds so much to the message youre trying to get across

yeah lol let's get into it! Ive spent maybe 5 or so years refining this process to the point it's at now so it's pretty much my standard procedure now. I'm going to use Now that you're gone as my primary example here since i still have most of the planning stages associated with it (my laptop does not have a whole lot of storage left so i usually delete my planning once the comic is finished lol) but i'll try to throw in some other examples too!

I almost always start with a written script. (the exception for this is longform oc comics which i find easier to write in the moment, but for my shorter character studies I almost always write first.) I use discord to write because it's convenient, but before i had a dedicated discord server for my stuff i was using txt files on my laptop which i do NOT recommend. anyway, this is what the written script for ntyg looked like:

note that some small elements changed in production, like the amount of time that had passed since link's death. the lines "I look at her and i am only afraid. i remember all the ways in which i hurt you. She's almost as old now as you were then. I cannot stand the thought of outliving her, too" were also added during the rough stage because i felt like there wasn't quite enough emphasis on aryll in the initial script, and since this was a major change that necessitated a whole extra page in the comic I went back and edited those lines into the script so I wouldn't forget them. (both these changes were made during the rough stage. i'll almost never make major script adjustments after the roughs are finished.)

more examples of my scripts; specifically the original script for totk: failure and two versions of oot: adulthood (one before some major refining and one after.) with comics like these, where i have a very clear idea in my head of the imagery i want to go along with the words, i'll sometimes include it interspersed in the script, either spolier-marked or denoted with brackets.

with ntyg and some of my other more. canon divergent? i guess? comics, there's sort of a mini phase in between scripting and roughs where I do some minor character studies to get designs nailed down in the early stages. with ntyg I already had a clear image in my mind for aryll, but the central character was link's dad, whose design wasn't quite so solid in my head. I really wanted to make sure that his design was well thought-out and consistent throughout everything, so i did a few mini sketches and studies to ensure I had his design memorized and could execute it consistently:

these are sans hair and accessories because nailing down consistent facial features was my main focus with them, and both these sketches ended up getting used as references for certain panels later on. This isn't a step I ALWAYS take with my comics, but if there's a central character that i'm not super used to drawing i find it helpful to get some practice in before jumping into the real thing!

after the scripting and design phases i move on to roughs, which I consider to be the most important stage in my process. roughs are very very quick approximations of what I want the final pages to look like. they usually don't take me more than a few minutes per page to create, and their sole purpose is to help me visualize the flow of the page and the placement of major elements like panels, characters, and dialog. this is what the 1st page rough for ntyg looked like compared to the final page:

as you can see, all i have laid out is the major text and visual elements, but it really helps me to visualize how the finished comic is going to flow. i do the roughs for every page before i start on the finals so that i have an idea of what the entire comic is going to look like before I really start finalizing it. it's important that these roughs are FAST--i almost never draw fully-fledged characters unless the pose or expression is particularly important to the scene, and that's because the goal is to allow everything to flow quickly and easily from panel to panel and page to page, and getting too caught up on one panel or element often breaks that flow. Nowadays, i have a pretty good idea of how much room my writing takes up so i don't write out the entire script in my roughs, but back when i was a little less experienced i took the time to write everything out in this stage to ensure that my dialog would fit into the space it was given without getting cramped or cutting off other important elements. doing that really helped me build awareness of how much dialog and panel placement matters and how i could use it, so this rough stage is non-negotiable for me even now!

after the roughs i go straight into finalization. I never enjoyed lineart back when i was learning to draw digitally so i basically built my art style to be understandable and visually appealing after one sketch phase, meaning there's legitimately no in-between stage between that rough and that final page, i just sort of. go for it. this is what works for me, but i think most normal people would probably find a second sketch phase helpful LMAO i'm just crazy and i need everything done as fast as possible. the finalization stage usually doesn't contain any major adjustments of script, composition, etc; i make it a general rule to keep most of the major adjustments confined to the earlier stages, for my own sanity. One thing that DOES occasionally change in this stage is my plans for color--ntyg in particular was originally planned to be completely black-and-white with no grays added, but when looking at my completed pages i found them sort of empty and unengaging without the gray, so i added it. usually if my color plans DO change it's something small like that--I'll almost never switch between full-color and grayscale on a whim because the way that i sketch for those two versions differs significantly so it isn't an easy switch to make.

anyways i hope this is what you were looking for! I'm very passionate about making comics and this process is a result of years of experimentation & finding what works for me, but i hope it's of some use to you as well!

[hyperpotamianarch]

All right, so I have news for anyone who's interested in my Jewsade/Jewish dæmonism stuff! After not doing anything with it since I've hit a wall with no idea on how to actually write it, I am now considering using Maharal of Prague as a framing device that could connect the story to the main characters of His Dark Materials. Maharal is most well known for having rumored to have created a Golem - it's actually the most famous Golem story to exist - but he was more interesting a person than that. He was well studies in Philosophy and Kabbalah, as well as Astronomy and various other sciences. He was born in Poland about 30 years after the Alhambra decree in Spain, meaning he was a baby/young child at the time the supposed Jewsade may have occured. He was known to have conversed with Emperor Rudolph II later in life. In addition, his teachings later influenced the Chassidut movement.

I'm not really explaining his significance well, but he is an important figure who had the Golem legend grow around his character and fights against Blood Libels centuries after his death. And the fact that the Alethiometer was supposedly invented in Prague at around the time of his death helps.

You see, my idea of it currently is something along the lines of: Lyra, in the midst of studying the Alethiometer, finds some vague references to an early scholar named Long Loew. There is only one note from him which is very interesting, but there's very little about who he was and what are other stuff he said. After researching she finds a book that explains a bit more about him, which might be the heart of the story. That, or she'll slowly uncover hints and the story will progress in two parallel lines - one telling of the life of Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague and his struggles with the rising power of the Magisterium and another about Lyra uncovering his life and learning about the current state of Judaism under the Magisterium-dominated Europe. It will likely include some throwaway lines about the Jewsade and its outcome and about shifts in centers of Judaism. Some spotlight might also be given to Rabbi Mordechai Yaffeh (but only because I like him. He doesn't seem to have interacted with Maharal much even though he also served as the Rabbi of Prague for some time while Maharal was living in another city) and to some of Mahahral's students. There will also have to be some talk about the Shulchan Aruch and such books, but that's another thing.

Part of the idea here is also to remind people that Jews were involved in scientific development, to a degree. Some famous rabbis had exchanges with famous Astronomers. Due to how a Christian-dominated world generally works, though, you're unlikely to find discoveries made by Jewish scholars around the 16th-17th centuries. At least so I think, I'm far from an expert on that topic. Either way, I think this kind of story might lend itself easier to write. It does lose the angle of focusing on Sepharadi Jews, but I'm hardly qualified for that anyway. I think Maharal's type of philosophy might work very well with dæmons and the Alethiometer, though I do need to study it more (which I guess makes the fact one of my distant great uncles was a scholar of Maharal very convenient). I do still need to read the Secret Commonwealth to understand adult Lyra better and see how such a story might work - for example, might Pantalaimon go alone to the Jewish quarter of Prague when Lyra is unwilling to? What would each of them find out? What could really drive Lyra to check out one particular scholar? So, that's the bad news: after having a hard time starting to read the Secret Commonwealth, any progress that might be done is postponed until after I read it. I do intend to try and do it quickly, though.

So, yeah. I intend trying to talk about Jewish life in Lyra's world through the eyes of an old Jewish Rabbi, Philosopher and Kabbalah student, or maybe two or three of those. I will need to thouroughly research their history, but that's going to be fun (hopefully). Plus, I'm descended from Maharal! So this is kind of uncovering family history!

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[bnhaobservation]

Ramblings about the Todoroki family - Part 1: Todoroki Enji’s origin and teenager years

So it’s finally time for me to try to dig into the Todoroki family, their dynamics and their history.

PREMISE

Someone might have been wondering why I waited so long before making a post for my very own favorite family, the Todoroki family.

Well, truth is I’ve plenty of drafts for a Todoroki family post, taken from various different angles which never ended up being posted because the Todoroki family has some HUGE narrative problems that have nothing to do with the family problems.

The first problem isn’t really a problem but a fact: as BNHA is a Japanese manga, most of the Todorokis’ issues are tied and being seen through the Japanese culture, and Japanese culture is different by the various western ones, so one needs to dig into it to understand what’s going on with them… which is long and time consuming and can end up distracting from the main topic, the Todorokis… never mentioning I’m not really an expert in Japanese culture.

The second, which is, if possibly, even huger, is that the Todoroki family suffered plenty of retcon through the serialization of the manga. This is not a complain, this is generally how manga work. Many manga don’t necessarily follow a detailed and pre planned storyline but, at best, a general outline so the author makes up the story as they go… and might be asked/forced to change it as they go, or decide to do it on their own because they came up with something better or realized something wasn’t working. If you decide to read a long manga, this can very well end up being part of your reading experience, one you’ve to accept and that however brings, as a consequences, that things can end up being tossed in without foreshadowing or that a present development can clash with a past one… which cause troubles when we place the facts that form the past of the Todorokis family in a chronological order and try to study their impact on the characters and their psychological behavior and stumble upon contradictions or behaviors that make no sense or give the ‘wrong impression’ (as ‘not the impression Horikoshi wanted us to have of the characters) because… such past facts were inserted retroactively and so couldn’t influence certain scenes when they should have.

So, how I’m going to go with this meta?

So as to give a more cohesive talk about how the Todoroki’s history was I’ll still analyze the family’s history chronologically (where with chronologically I don’t refer to the printing order but to the order in which facts were supposed to happen according to the BNHA timeline) but I’ll go at it in this way.

I’ll divide their history in parts so yeah this will be a multipart meta. Each part will be analyzed in 4 sections.

The first section will be labeled ‘Canon information’ and will be a mere retelling of the canon info with transcriptions of the dialogues in it and images/panels/pages from the manga so as to refresh everyone what the canon says about a certain part and also because I’LL STICK TO CANON AS MUCH AS IT’S HUMANLY POSSIBLE, WHEN IT’S CONRADICTING I’LL POINT IT OUT AND, IF SOMETHING IS NOT CANON BUT A LOGICAL SPECULATION OF MINE, I’LL LET YOU KNOW.

The second section will be labeled ‘Cultural info’ and will be a quick listing of topics tied to Japanese culture with a minimal explanation. It doesn’t exist to give you a deep and comprehensive explanation, just a quick reference so, if you’re interested, you can document yourself about it on your own and better understand the story. Mind you, I’m not Japanese so I might miss something or not explain something clearly enough, which is why I recommend YOU’ll be the one to document yourself using the info I share merely as a crutch to make your research easier.

The third section will be labeled ‘Doylist commentary’. Doylist commentary takes the name from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the Real Life author of the Holmes stories. They consider the Todoroki history as a created object, and prefer exegetic explanations with particular attention to the author’s intentions. Doylist commentaries can include “The author changed his mind” or “The author forgot this” or “There was no time for inserting this” or “Here the author is just using/referencing a certain trope” or “The author is just applying the Anthropic Principle (for any given story, there exist basic elements that, no matter how improbable or impossible their occurrence, are required for the story itself to happen, or there would be no story) or the MST3K Mantra (some details in the story don’t need to make sense because they ultimately don’t matter), asking us to suspend our disbelief on how it wouldn’t work logically in the story” or “With this scene the author is trying to carry on this theme/message”. Please DO NOT view the Doylist commentary as a “let’s complain about the story” corner. As said before, things like the author changing his mind or deciding that something impossible can indeed happen or forgot he previously said a certain thing and now he’s saying the opposite are part of the creative process of a manga, but understanding why the author had something happen can be useful to have a better grasp of the story and not give certain scenes a meaning they weren’t intended to have. Of course I’m not Horikoshi nor I worked with him to make the manga so, in this section, I’ll often talk of what I’ll assume was Horikoshi’s purpose to add a certain scene or why a certain problem happened which means I might be wrong.

The forth section will be labeled ‘Watsonian commentary’. Watsonian commentary takes the name from Dr. John Watson, Holmes’ friend and supposed chronicler of his adventures in-universe. They explain the Todoroki history within the logic of the narrative. Watsonian explanations are things like “Character X was lying”, “This happened in a scene we didn’t see”, and “Character X did this because he was thinking that”. So, basically, when I’ll make a Watsonian comment instead I’ll focus on the characters, their lives, their psychology and the effect everything has on them.

With this said let’s start with the Todoroki family.

TODOROKI ENJI’S ORIGIN AND TEENAGER YEARS (Chap. 356 + Chap. 3-86-192-319, Team Up Mission 33, School Briefs I Epilogue and School Briefs III Dramatic Makeover!)

Canon information:

Chronologically speaking, the earliest bit of Todoroki history is in Chap. 356 and shows a middle school Enji standing under the rain looking at a disaster area while his father’s body is being carried away after the man died fighting a man in an attempt to save a girl, causing her too to die as well.

This scene is labeled by the narrator (a high school Enji) as ‘Enji’s origin’ and the proof he’ll never be a superhero.

We also then see Enji at U.A. choosing his Hero name, ‘Endeavor’ the narrator calling this choice the proof of Enji’s menial nature. Students in U.A. choose their Hero name on their first year of high school short after the sport festival so, while we can see that the Enji who chooses his Hero name is older than the one who watched his father die, although comparatively they should be close in age (from 3 to 1 year of difference).

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Sara ni yowaku natta.’ 轟炎司「更に弱くなった。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “You became beyond weak.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Tachiba to tsugunai to ayamachi to sekinin ga. Omae no seirai no yowasa o abaki dashi miru ni taenai guzu e to hikizuri oroshita. Chōjin ni wa narenainda yo Enji (read: omae) wa. 轟炎司「立場と償いと過ちと責任が。おまえの生来の弱さを曝き出し見るに堪えない愚図へと引きずり下ろした。超人にはなれないんだよ炎司（おまえ）は。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Position, atonement, mistakes and responsibility. Your innate weakness was exposed and I can’t bear to see how you were dragged down into an indecisive person. Enji (read: you) can’t become a superhuman.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Genten o omoi dase. Teki ga nandatta no ka o?’ 轟炎司「原点を思い出せ。敵が何だったのかを。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Remember your origin. Who was the enemy?”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Akkan kara shōjo o sukuou to shi kekka shōjo moro tomo nikukai to ka shita chichi o’ 轟炎司「悪漢から少女を救おうとし結果少女もろとも肉塊と化した父を。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Your father tried to save a girl from a scoundrel and, as a result, he and the girl were turned into a lump of meat.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Shin no chōjin e no senbō to higami o.’ 轟炎司「真の超人への羨望と僻みを。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Your envy and inferiority complex toward a true superhuman.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘“Doryoku (read: ‘ENDEAVOR’)” to nanoru hikutsu na shōne o.’ 轟炎司「〝努力〟（エンデヴァー）と名乗る卑屈な性根を。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “You called yourself ‘effort’ (read: ‘Endeavor’) due to your menial nature.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Kojishite inakereba tamotenu teido no minikui kokoro o.’ 轟炎司「誇示していなければ保てぬ程度の醜い心を。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Unless you’re putting on airs you can’t sustain your ugly heart.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Sō. Omae wa ALL MIGHT ni mo DEKU ni mo narenai Enji (read: ore) wa itsumo jibun no yowasa to shika tatakatte nakatta kara, dakara umare kawarou nante kangaeruna.’ 轟炎司「そうおまえはオールマイトにもデクにもなれない炎司（おれ）はいつも自分の弱さとしか戦ってなかったから、だから 生まれ変わろうなんて考えるな。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Yes. You can’t become All Might or Deku because Enji (read: I) was always fighting only against his (my) own weaknesses, so don’t think about being reborn.”

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘“Onore no yowasa (read: teki)” o noroi tsudzukero, yuiitsu sore dake ga omae o ikashite kita no dakara.’ 轟炎司「〝己の弱さ（てき）〟を呪い続けろ、唯一それだけがおまえを生かしてきたのだから。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Keep cursing ‘your own weakness (read: the enemy)’, because that is the only thing that has kept you alive.” [Chap. 356]

Prior to this bit, the manga and other source mentioned how Enji had been an U.A. student from pretty early on, as Enji as always been planned to be tied to U.A. and in Horikoshi’s early plan later scrapped he was also meant to be a teacher at U.A. High. We’ve in fact a mention of him having been a U.A. student as early as in Chap. 3. It’s not said who does the narration, in the anime this bit is said by Midoriya so I’ve assumed this applies here too, though another recurring narrator is Present Mic. As he wasn’t introduced yet though, I think choosing Midoriya as a narrator made sense.

Midoriya Izuku ‘U.A. kōkō HERO-ka‼ Soko wa PRO ni hissu no shikaku shutoku o mokuteki to suru yōsei-kō! Zenkoku dōkachū, mottomo ninki de mottomo muzukashiku, sono bairitsu wa reinen 300 o koeru‼ Kokumin eiyoshō ni dashin sa reru mo kore o koji‼ “ALL MIGHT”‼ Jiken kaiketsu-sū shijō saita! Nenshō-kei HERO “ENDEAVOR”‼ BEST JEANIST 8 nen renzoku jushō‼”BEST JEANIST”! Idaina (read: GRATEFUL) HERO ni wa o U.A. sotsugyō ga zettai jōken nano da‼.’ 緑谷出久「雄英高校ヒーロー科‼そこはプロに必須の資格取得を目的とする養成校！全国同科中、最も人気で最も難しく、その倍率は例年３００を超える‼国民栄誉賞に打診されるもこれを固辞‼『オールマイト』‼事件解決数史上最多！燃焼系ヒーロー『エンデヴァー』‼ベストジーニスト8年連続受賞‼『ベストジーニスト』！偉大な（グレイト���ル）ヒーローには雄英卒業が絶対条件なのだ‼」 Midoriya Izuku “U.A. High School’s Hero Course! It’s a training school where students acquire the qualifications necessary to become professionals! It’s the most popular and difficult course in the country, with the competition rate exceeding 300 every year! The one who was offered the People’s Honor Award but firmly refused! “All Might”! The person who solved the most cases in history! The burning hero “Endeavor”! Winner of the Best Jeanist award for 8 consecutive years! “Best Jeanist”! Graduating from U.A. is an absolute requirement for being a great (read: grateful) hero!” [Chap. 3]

Best Jeanist also remarks how Enji is an alumnus so he should help U.A.

Todoroki Enji ‘Nande ore ga U.A. no shirinugui o… kochira mo isogashī nodaga.’ 轟炎司「何で俺が雄英の尻拭いを…こちらも忙しいのだが。」 Todoroki Enji “Why should I have to clean up after U.A.? We’re busy here too.”

BEST JEANIST ‘MaA sō iwazu ni… OB deshou.’ ベストジーニスト「まァそう言わずに…OBでしょう。」 Best Jeanist “Well, don’t say that. You’re an alumnus, aren’t you?”

Tsukauchi Naomasa ‘U.A. kara wa ima HERO o yobenai. Taikyoku o mitekure ENDEAVOR. Konkai no jiken wa HERO shakai hōkai no kikkake ni mo nari eru sōryoku o motte kaiketsu ni ataraneba.’ 塚内直正「雄英からは今ヒーローを呼べない。大局を見てくれエンデヴァー。今回の事件はヒーロー社会崩壊の切っ掛けにもなり得る総力をもって解決にあたらねば。」 Tsukauchi Naomasa “We can’t call in any heroes from U.A. right now. Look at the big picture, Endeavor. This incident could be the start of the collapse of hero society, so we must use all our strength to solve it.” [Chap. 86]

Later we’re also told how he knows Recovery Girl by a long time due to this.

RECOVERY GIRL ‘OB no yoshimi de kite ageta yo. Soreni ima wa mō No.1 HERO da mono ne.’ リカバリーガール「OBのよしみで来てあげたよ。それに今はもうNo.1ヒーローだものね。」 Recovery Girl “I came for you since you were an alumnus. Besides, you’re also the No. 1 hero now.’ [Chap. 192]

Chap 319 also remarks how Enji is an U.A. alumnus…

Uraraka Ochako ‘ENDEAVOR-tte U.A. sotsu da yo ne............... Gōin ni ikou.’ 麗日お茶子「エンデヴァーって雄英卒だよね……………強引に行こう。」 Uraraka Ochako “Endeavor is a graduate of U.A., right?... Let’s go for it forcefully.” [Chap. 319]

… and the fact Nezu comments on his growth seems to imply he too, same as Recovery Girl, knew him from that time.

Todoroki Enji ‘………Soto wa kiken da chitsujo ga nai. Omae-tachi made──’ 轟炎司「………外は危険だ秩序が無い。おまえたちまで──」 Todoroki Enji “…It’s dangerous out there. There’s no order. Even you guys...”

Nezu ‘Otona ni natta ne… Todoroki-kun…!!’ 根津「大人になったね…轟くんくん…‼」 Nezu “You’ve grown up/matured... Todoroki-kun...!!” [Chap. 319]

The side material also tried to expand a bit on Enji’s past school life.

There is, for example, this bit in the spin off manga “Team Up Mission���:

Īda Tenya ‘Sorezore ga hirotta GOMI no sōryō o kiroku! Tadashi “kosei” shiyō-fuka! Onore no junsui na tairyoku nomi de shinkiroku o mezasu nōkin EVENT nanda! Chinamini rekidai No. 1 kiroku hoji-sha wa ENDEAVOR da.’ 飯田天哉「それぞれが拾ったゴミの総量を記録！ただし〝個性〟使用不可！己の純粹な体力のみで新記録を目指す脳筋イベントなんだ！ちなみに歴代No.1記録保持者はエンデヴァーだ。」 Īda Tenya “Each person records the total amount of trash they have picked up! However, they cannot use their “quirks”! It’s a muscle-brained event where they aim to set a new record using only their own physical strength! Incidentally, the all-time record holder is Endeavor.”

Todoroki Shōto ‘!’ 轟焦凍「! 」 Todoroki Shōto “!”

Midoriya Izuku ‘ENDEAVOR ga… ALL MIGHT no kiroku wa?’ 緑谷出久「エンデヴァーが…オールマイトの記禄は？」 Midoriya Izuku “It was Endeavor...what about All Might’s record?”

Īda Tenya ‘ALL MIGHT wa igainimo yoi kiroku ga nokotte inai. Ippanjin ni hanashikake rare GOMI hiroi dokorode wa nakatta sōda.’ 飯田天哉「オールマイトは意外にも良い記録が残っていない。一般人に話しかけられゴミ拾いどころではなかったそうだ。」 Īda Tenya “Surprisingly, All Might doesn’t have a good record. Apparently he was approached by members of the public and had no time to pick up trash.”

Midoriya Izuku ‘Tōji kara ninki-sha sugiru…!’ 緑谷出久「当時から人気者すぎる… ！」 Midoriya Izuku “He was so popular even back then!”

Todoroki Shōto ‘Oyaji ga…’ 轟焦凍「親父が…」 Todoroki Shōto “My father was…” [Mission 33]

And then these bits from “School Briefs” show first Enji and Recovery Girl interacting, confirming they know by a long time…

“Well, if it isn’t Endeavor. How long has it been?” It was U.A.’s school nurse, Youthful Heroine: Recovery Girl. Contrary to her title, the elderly healer walked with a syringe-shaped cane and had her hair tied up in a neat bun. “Recovery Girl! Good to see you,” said Endeavor, managing to mind his manners for someone he’d known nearly all his life. [“School Briefs I Epilogue”]

…and then Recovery Girl saying so to Shōto as well, also trying to tell him how his father was at school.

“It still hasn’t hit me that Endeavor’s boy is so grown up already.” “Huh…?” “I’ve been at U.A. a long time, you know? Known your father since he was a student here.” This mention of his father darkened Todoroki’s face, as if by reflex. “I was always treating him for scrapes, cuts and bruises back in those days. That boy put himself through the wringer, hoping to be the number one Hero someday.” Recovery Girl’s reminiscence triggered Todoroki’s memories from childhood and beyond-the sound of his father’s voice shouting at him. The voice always commanded the boy to succeed where his father had failed and grow into a Hero who could surpass All Might. Todoroki hated that voice with a passion. “Why, your father was so driven that, one time, in class…” “I’d rather not hear anything about that bastard… ma’am,” interrupted Todoroki. [“School Briefs III Dramatic Makeover!”]

...and ultimately deciding to let him know in a more veiled manner.

“All the boys and girls at U.A. tend to do their darnest. They always have. So be sure to give yourself credit where credit is due, now and then.” “Yes, ma’am.” Todoroki popped a gummy bear into his mouth. The chewy candy gave his tired body the small burst of sugar it needed. ‘Guess she’s saying that my bastard of a father did his best when he was here, too…?’ [“School Briefs III Dramatic Makeover!”]

Cultural info:

Oyakoko (親孝行 “filial piety”): An important Buddhist virtue of respecting and caring for one’s parents and that therefore requires the children ‘to be good’ to their parents, often through acts of great respect, kindness and support. It might sound nice but, although things are changing currently, in the past this meant doing what the parents wanted, including marrying who they were to pick up for you, provide them with grandchildren who would continue the family line, pursuing the career path they wanted (usually continuing the family business), fulfilling their ambitions, carry on  their grudges or even avenging them, plus taking care of them when they’re old, handling their funeral and taking care of them through Butsudan in which they would be enshrined.

Chōnan (長男 “first male son”): Again, things are changing but in the past the first male son was the one who would inherit everything and therefore the one on whom would fall most of the duties that came from filial piety, like taking over the family home, like continuing the family job, fulfilling his parents’ wishes and aspirations, marrying who his parents wanted, provide his parents with grandchildren, taking care of his aging parents and, later on, of their funeral rites and maintaining the Butsudan in which they would be enshrined. Nowadays there’s less pressure to do all this but expectations remain. The firstborn were to be educated more than his other siblings, often receiving special education that would help carry on his duties. The result was also lot of pressure was put on him, while lot less was placed on his siblings.

Butsuma (仏間 “room/space of the Butsudan”) and Butsudan (仏壇 “Buddhist altar”): The Butsuma is a room/space whose principal or exclusive function is containing a Butsudan, a shrine whose primary use is for paying respects to the Buddha, as well as to family members who have died and ancestors. In fact the Butsudan becomes the house/room of said deceased people. The fact we see what is likely Enji’s father’s photo in the Todoroki Butsuma implies he’s resting there and therefore, since Enji is taking care of that Butsudan, Enji should be the male firstborn. Also the Todorokis should have had a Butsudan and a Butsuma before Tōya’s death so, contrary to the fandom’s expectations, the Butsudan is clearly not in Tōya and Natsuo’s childhood room (what’s more, the room looks different from their own) but it always had its own room.

Doryoku (努力 “effort/endeavor”): In Japan there is a stronger belief in effort as opposed to innate ability. Effort is seen as necessary to fulfill a social obligation to family, peers, and community. From when they’re children Japanese people are forced to focus on their effort, seeing it as the cause of success. According to society, if a child does not succeed, they were not trying hard enough. This is unrelated to the child’s grades; children always need to put forth more effort. This gives you a better idea of what exactly Enji’s Hero name stand for, an acknowledgement he has no inborn talent like he thinks All Might has, that he’ll just compensate by putting more effort, that his effort will never be enough as he’ll continue to push himself.

Doylist commentary:

So… let’s start with which probably was Horikoshi’s aim as he added this bit about ‘Enji’s origin’.

All the main characters in BNHA have an origin story, be they Heroes or Villains. Some of them go so far as to have a chapter titled with their name and the word ‘origin’ (Midoriya, Shouto, Bakugō, Tenko & Tomura, All Might), sometimes going so far as to also name the volume in which that chapter appeared as such, some others have their own origin story but with a lot less fanfare (as in no chapter or volume named as such like, for example Kirishima, Jin, Himiko, Touya…).

It makes sense Horikoshi had wanted to give an ‘origin’ to Enji too, one that gives him more deep and that explains why he is the way he is.

The drama of Enji losing his father and having been helpless to act to stop it, which made him feel like he can never be a true Hero (remember how Midoriya instead is a TRUE Hero because he jumped into action despite being weak, timid and Quirkless?) isn’t a bad idea either.

What’s more, having Enji seems as if he’s about to give up then think at his origin and come back strong enough it seems he can take down All for One is undoubtedly a way to make the fight more interesting. The fight was stalling, then the Villains seem to have the upper hand then the Hero gets a boost in power and turn tables. It’s an old narrative trick but it always works.

Visually, Horikoshi uses the old trick of rain in place of tears which never gets old as far as I’m involved. What can I say, I like it, I like the way it expresses the pain of a character in a discreet way.

It also… kind of try to smooth again Enji’s position.

In his prototype  Enji was meant to be just a guy obsessed with respecting rules. In Shouto’s prototype he valued strength and married Rei to create a strong child but it seemed as if it was Rei the ‘bad guy’ as Shouto hated her and wanted Enji’s love. The final plan, the one we read, had him forcing Shouto to endure abusive training, Rei trying to protect Shouto and ending up being abused in turn, with Rei snapping, losing it and ending up in hospital and Shouto completely rejecting Enji.

He went from a guy who was just obsessed with rules to the BAD GUY of the Todoroki house.

Apparently though, Horikoshi was never fond of this evolution for a character he originally created with the purpose of him being cool, respectful to law, well liked by people and kind of a comical relief (he said Enji would stop at traffic lights even when chasing a Villain…) which is likely why Horikoshi ended up on placing him on an atonement path.

Giving him this ‘origin’ feels like one of the many attempts through the story to make Enji more sympathetic, this time by giving him a sad backstory as a motive for why he’s the way he is, instead than just his jealousy and this is totally fair. There’s nothing wrong into wanting to give a character more deep by giving him a sad backstory. People who do bad things don’t necessarily have to be two dimensional bad guys, especially if you want to put them on an atonement path.

However there are problems with this new bit.

For start… the fact that Enji’s ‘origin’ wasn’t foreshadowed at all (just think at how we could have seen previously Enji’s father’s photo in the Butsudan room, and instead it’s shown only now, or how Enji’s father could have gotten mentioned, even with a random ‘he lost his father when he was young, so he doesn’t know how to be a father’) seems to imply Horikoshi came up with this bit way too late in the story, possibly when the final war started. I mean, All Might gets an ‘origin’ chapter even much later (chap. 398), but it was teased and foreshadowed long ago. There’s nothing of the sort for this extra bit of story. Even in the many bits mentioning how Enji attended to U.A. there’s no hint of such revelation, I don’t know, by having someone say he had to go to a part time job to pay for his living expense/scholarship or comment on how his teachers were the only adult figures he had in his life or that he didn’t have his father’s support or that he was trying so hard for his father also. Although this revelation is supposed to be important it comes out of nowhere, way too late in the manga for the story to build up upon it.

Second… the readers were persuaded they already knew Enji’s ‘origin’, that he became the way he was when he realized he couldn’t surpass All Might despite his attempts in terms of strength. We had plenty of scenes telling us this. Yes, it can be Horikoshi wanted to surprise us… but when the surprise comes out so late and in such a rushed manner that not even the anime felt like investing in this (in the anime the scene is not expanded but exactly as it is in the manga and they even cut the bit hinting Enji’s father photo is in the Butsuma) readers find hard to invest in it as well. This is a story with 430 chapters, chap 356 is way too late to have a revelation on one of the main characters’ ‘origins’, especially when, until chap 356, there was already an origin story for Enji of some sort, which was the one that chap. 31-93-165-188 pushed forward.

Third, as I said, it feels rushed because Enji’s father’s death takes a grand total of three panels for half a page. There is no other ‘origin’ story that takes so little, especially if we compare it to all the time Horikoshi spent talking about/showing his other ‘origin’ story, the one of Enji being forced to accept he couldn’t surpass All Might. Horikoshi wanted the focus to be on Enji, so has no real interest in explaining what exactly happened with Enji’s father, with the result it creates more questions than answers which end up shifting the attention away from Enji himself as people try to figure out what happened that day. So, while the message seems to be that Enji, was indecisive (of if you like more how Touya put it, a coward) and, like Kirishima, came to believe he wasn’t Hero material because he didn’t sprint to action like All Might and Midoriya would have done and, differently from Kirishima, didn’t manage to cope with the revelation in the right way… well, this is just my speculation. It’s unclear if this is really his problem, and the lack of clarity makes the scene even weaker.

Forth, it’s a pity Enji’s father’s death scene isn’t connected to All Might, since All Might should have returned in Japan around the time Enji’s father died and the incident in which Enji’s father died could have also been the one in which All Might for the first time saved so many people. It would have added to the Enji-All Might’s feud, with Enji failing to save his father and Enji’s father failing to save the girl but All Might succeeding into saving everyone else except his father. Mind you, it wasn’t mandatory but since the two incidents happen close in time, if we’ve been done they were one and the same this incident might have felt less tossed in and more foreshadowed. Not much but… a bit more. Instead it wasn’t.

Fifth, yes, Enji has hesitated and had been indecisive other times and they all regarded his family… but each time the circumstances were so different it’s hard to see a pattern, it seems more like a coincidence.

So in the end Enji’s ‘origin’ feels like something Horikoshi didn’t really plan in advance, and that merely used as a device to give Enji a boost of power, to make him stand again after receiving a serious hit and fight even harder. Since it feels like it’s something ‘forced’ into the story at the last minute, it’s emotional impact is lessened than it should have been.

People were delighted when Dabi turned out to be Touya and felt satisfied when the guy who carried Tenko back home turned out to have been All for One because both facts were foreshadowed. Even Geten being a Himura or Touya’s Quirk being more than just a fire Quirk had some foreshadowing but this came out of nowhere and what’s worse, it went nowhere.

There’s no consequence for this reveal beyond the power up Enji receives, the strength he finds inside himself, when he thinks at all this. This story is not touched upon again, and, while I compared it to Kirishima’s backstory, not only Kirishima’s backstory got more deep and more time to be developed, but it even came back late in the story, when he and Ashido faced Machia.

Enji instead won’t think at his father ever again, Horikoshi not using it for any other part of the story to the point that it becomes the equivalent of giving to a beaten Saiyan a Senzu beam (for who’s unfamiliar with “Dragon Ball” senzu bean if eaten fully healed people and when Saiyan healed they became magically stronger). It’s a peep talk his younger self gave him to make him stand up and that’s all.

It’s a pity because the idea was actually instead really good, not only if explored it could become more moving but it could fit very well with Enji’s characterization and the whole theme of fatherhood opposed to focusing on heroism… of trauma that pushed him to do the wrong choices like it did for his son, of accepting he chased after the wrong thing, strength opposed to wish to help (which is what moved All Might and Midoriya) but no, it just will end up being shelved a moment after being used. It won’t come up again so that it feels more like one of those little bits of info Horikoshi put in his profiles than a real scene of the story.

On a special note let’s look at two sentences.

The first is this one:

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Sara ni yowaku natta.’ 轟炎司「更に弱くなった。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “You became beyond weak.” [Chap. 356]

…which seems to be chosen purposely to mockingly remind Enji (and us) of…

PRESENT MIC ‘Sara ni mukō e! “Plus Ultra”!!’ プレゼント・マイク「更に���こうへ! 〝Plus Ultra〟‼」 Present Mic “Further beyond! ‘Plus Ultra’!!” [Chap. 3]

This sentence is said by Present Mic in Chap. 3 and it’s U.A. high school motto and you might remember hearing it at the end of each preview of the anime episodes.

The other sentence is the one about young Enji asking to his older self who was the enemy.

Todoroki Enji (young) ‘Genten o omoi dase. Teki ga nandatta no ka o?’ 轟炎司「原点を思い出せ。敵が何だったのかを。」 Todoroki Enji (young) “Remember your origin. Who was the enemy?” [Chap. 356]

It’s hard to catch it in the English version but in the Japanese version “Villain” is written with the kanji ‘teki’ (敵) which means “enemy” but is given the reading “VILLAIN” (ヴィラン), while the sentence might be using the word “enemy” merely because it fits to drive home the concept, it can also be it’s implying Enji’s real enemy aren’t Villains but his own weakness.

Also teenager Enji talks of a ‘Shin no chōjin’ (真の超人 “true superhuman”). ‘Chōjin’ is how the name of the DC Comics Hero Superman is translated and it’s likely used it to show a parallel between All Might and Superman… however, ironically, not much after Enji himself will use a Superman’s move. In fact Superman can project beams of heat from his eyes which are hot enough to melt steel and Enji will do just the same in his fight with All for One.

What’s more, in Japanese this word sounds tied to ‘Chōjō’ (超常 “supernatural”). Where supernatural comes into play in the story? This word appears right from Chap. 1, although the English manga translated it as “exceptional” and later decided to translate it as just Quirk (even though in Japanese when they want to say “Quirk” they use ‘kosei’ (個性) or ‘Inō’ (異能 “Meta Ability” lit. “Extraordinary Ability”).

It’s a series of interesting nice bits that get lost in translation but are worth mentioning.

There’s not much to say on the tiny bit that referenced how Enji had been a U.A. student as they’re not much more than that, tiny bit that reference how Enji had been a U.A. student. They’re many but through the manga, they’re not really attempt at flashing Enji out beyond the fact he knew Recovery Girl and Nezu from back then.

It kind of clashes with how, in Enji’s ‘origin’, Horikoshi decided to depict him as an U.A. student as if that had been important but… we hardly learn something about his time there, his origin happening PRIOR to it. It’s not a sin it’s just… a pity… especially because it also clashes with how Class A is represented as close even after 8 years while neither All Might nor Enji seem to have friends, or at least ex-classmates, from their time at U.A. among the other Pro. Sure, as said before it wasn’t super important for the narrative but it still feels weird (especially in All Might’s case as he was a social person) how no one of their classmates is, at least, in the business. Sure, Horikoshi might have thought he had ENOUGH characters tied with U.A. so it makes sense he didn’t want to give them classmates, especially since he likely didn’t know he would late add that bit o

The only two which made an attempt to flesh him out more are the bit from “Team-up” which remarks how he put hard effort in doing things to the point he surpassed All Might and the bit in “School Briefs” in which Recovery Girl wants to tell Shouto how hard Enji used to work as a student. That second bit again can be seen as again an attempt at presenting him in a more sympathetic light but, especially for western readers, it doesn’t work so well as, in the narration, it comes in contraposition with how he mistreated Shouto when training him. It would have worked much better if Recovery Girl had just thought at all that by herself. I don’t really want to dig any further in this because I’ll talk about Shouto’s training later, when it’ll be time for it, so for now let’s leave it at this.

Watsonian commentary:

The scene of Enji’s father’s death is more like a flash so we don’t really know the details, but we can still extrapolate something out of it.

For start Enji’s age. He’s likely at middle school when his father dies as what he’s wearing seems a summer school uniform, but it’s different from U.A. school uniform. Enji seems as tall as an adult, considering how tall he’ll become it’s possible he was already that tall in middle school, but it would be too much of a stretch to assume he was that tall in Elementary school.

We aren’t told if the guy threatening the girl is a Villain, which is interesting as well as the text content itself with calling it a ‘akkan’ (悪漢) literally a “bad/evil man” (alternatively you can translate it as “thug, rascal, scoundrel”).

In BNHA a Villain (敵 （ヴィラン） ‘teki (read: VILLAIN)’) is “someone who uses his Quirk to commit crimes”.

I’ve hard time thinking we’re prior to the time in which people started using the term “Villain”, so all I can assume is that the guy wasn’t using his Quirk to commit that crime, hence he couldn’t be labeled as such.

We aren’t told if Enji’s father was a Hero or someone who just decided to act to protect a little girl, just that instead that saving her he ended up causing his own dead along with hers. Since the place is a disaster area and kids inherit their parents’ Quirk, it is possible Enji’s father too had a fire Quirk and, attempting to use it, either in attack or self defense caused an explosion that killed everyone, included the girl he wanted to save.

We see Enji witnessing as his father’s corpse is taken away. We don’t know if he’s standing there because he froze when he should have instead acted and helped/saved his father and/or the girl or if he just came there too late, but the message we can extrapolate is he feels his ‘origin’ is one of a person who can’t be a Hero because he had failed to jump in action to save people (and especially his father) because he’s been indecisive and this had lead him to stalling instead than saving.

Possibly it wasn’t just fear, possibly he let himself be caught up by other thoughts, for example that if he were to use his Quirk he would commit a crime (it’s unknown if the whole thing was inspired by Horikoshi but in “Vigilantes” Enji expresses views which strongly disapprove of Vigilantism… this might be a consequence of what happened to his father if he acted even if he weren’t a Hero… or it could have been inside him already and might have caused him to hesitate) or maybe it was just his father who told him to wait there and he didn’t want to disobey.

Of maybe it was cowardice, Touya will blame him of being a coward and he won’t deny it, back then he was afraid to act , to go against a scoundrel and just stalled.

Or, as I said before, weakness was the problem. His father was weak so he failed to save himself and the little girl. Enji knew he was too weak to defeat the Villain so he didn’t act because he was weak, and therefore he failed to save his father and the little girl.

We don’t know.

Now this little scene can have plenty of consequences for Enji (which, unluckily, the story never explored).

Middle school is a time in which children are in a delicate age.

Teenagers start to search for a sense of self and personal identity, through an intense exploration of personal values, beliefs, and goals. Having his father die in such way under his eyes or reaching the place too late, could have been a very formative moment for him, one that might have radically changed his perception of himself, sadly not in a positive way.

If Enji’s father was a Hero, his dying while doing his duty like Kōta’s parents, might have further pushed on Enji the burden to become a Hero (inheriting his father’s mantle the way Īda Tensei first and Īda Tenya after did as Japanese society kind of expects the firstborn to inherit his father’s job), the need to be strong (otherwise he’ll die), the sense of inadequacy, as his father died as a Hero while Enji either watched or got there too late.

If Enji’s father wasn’t a Hero the fact he got involved, couldn’t save the girl (the text implied he caused her death) and stop the devastation of the area (or caused it directly) would reflect negatively on Enji.

Even though he’s absolutely not responsible for his father’s actions using Quirk if one isn’t a Hero is forbidden (we saw how they should have punished Shōto, Midoriya and Īda because they saved Native from the Hero killer, wounding him) and, what’s worse it didn’t end well (think at how Tobita and his family ended up bullied and ostracized for Tobita’s failed attempt to help someone who didn’t even die!) so Enji might have had to live with the pressure of all this and might have felt the need to become a Hero to wash away the shame of his father having tried and failed to be a Vigilante.

Regardless of Enji’s father having been a Hero or not, Enji doesn’t feel like a natural born Hero but still wants to be a Hero and tries to compensate with hard work.

As said in the cultural corner, society taught him to focus on effort, basically telling him if he were to put enough effort, he would succeed even though he lacks natural talent. Therefore Enji does his best to become the strongest while at the same time being plagued by feelings of not being good enough, which he tries to hide by acting cold and putting up on air.

Enji becomes a façade, he talks moves and act to give a certain impression of himself that Enji doesn’t feel match with the reality, he puts on airs, he holds himself together by keeping distance and presenting this fake image of him being confident, powerful, he feeds a lie, which is a very stressing thing to do.

All Might’s existence, or better the existence of someone who’s a natural born Hero and doesn’t even have to put effort in it, rubs salt on his wounds.

I want to dig into the presentation of the scene a bit as we discover what happened with Enji’s father in a discussion between adult Enji and teenager Enji, an Enji who wear U.A. high school uniform. Many other characters are shown also as their younger selves, but in that case is teenagers shown as children. In this case it’s a teen, as if Enji still have inside his teenager self, which is full of hate for him and can’t grow out of it.

The scene ends with adult Enji metaphorically murdering teenager Enji in a way that’s meant to represent how he won’t let himself be crushed by his own weakness… overcoming it through murderous rage. Teenager Enji encourage him to curse his own weakness, basically fuels his rage… which feels more like the representation of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Enji silences his own teenager self by murdering him and doesn’t overcome his weakness and leave it behind but just… fight it back with rage. But I’m probably running ahead this was meant to be about teenager Enji.

There’s also to wonder how his father’s death affected him practically.

Enji is the one who takes care of the Butsudan in which his father is enshrined. It makes him his firstborn. Was his mother still alive? Did she provide to Enji? Did Enji had to start a part time job to provide his living expenses? Did U.A. allow  it since many high school in Japan don’t allow it, and U.A. has its own internship program but previously it was the norm to start it on the second year? Or did his father have a life insurance (I’ve heard they’re pretty common in Japan) which allowed Enji (and his mother) to survive until Enji became a Pro? Or did someone else from the family helped him? We don’t know but it’s interesting to wonder.

All this could have contributed in how Enji as a father is lacking… but we’ll discuss about his fatherhood later.

Even in this Watsonian corner there’s not much to say about the bits referring to Enji at U.A. if not that they confirm even back then he put endless effort in training. He focused, he did all he could. Maybe he even deluded he could surpass All Might because he is the one who holds the record for collecting the most trash. Still, there’s something that’s worth wondering.

Neither All Might nor Enji are shown as having developed longstanding friendships in their school years which starkly contrast with how Class A was instead a close group even after 8 years.

There’s to wonder if back then they just weren’t educated in a way that encouraged friendship and teamwork.

That’s all for this part. Please stay tuned for the next!

[hellhound5925]

I’m back! And back with something I promise will be worth it! (I freaking love this gif and have been looking for an excuse to use it 😂)

One Shot - Sargent Hunter

“It’s better this way” (Part One)

So we can argue that 'The Love You Want' and 'Blood Sport' by Sleep Token inspired this. If you haven't, give them a listen and think about it from Hunter's POV. Also I'm going to throw a name in but feel free to read it as whoever you want. This will be a few parts and end happy I promise! Probably going to be some cute romantic smut so please stick around!

Warnings:

18+, heartbreak, smut, (I'm bad at warnings let me know if I missed anything) mentions of blood (unintentional self harm?). References to stars exploding. Female character/reader.

Summary:

Relationships during wartime are tough...you'd know that better than anyone. Being a Mandalorian, you has been asked to train clones on Kamino. It just felt like the right thing to do, and what confirmed that for you was the moment the handsome Sargent had his eyes on you. Eventually letting him get to know you, you felt deep and hard for the man, but the reality of the war was forever in the back of your mind....

————

The last few days have been full of moping around and trying to avoid the love of my life...yeah thats right I said it...he's the love of my life...however the reality of the war knocking on my door telling me he's been killed in action is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Having decided it would be easier to let him go than to bare the heartache, I've been trying to find the right words to say to make him understand.

I'm so lost in my own head, sharpening my blades I almost missed it, "Hey" Hunter’s voice comes from over my shoulder. The tone is a somber one, making my heart shatter like glass into millions of tiny shards. For a moment I hesitate, wondering if I should pick up the pieces or move on - I knew this was going to be hard, I just didn't realize how hard...Two strong arms wrap around my torso, pulling me from my thoughts, and instinctively I push them away.

"We need to talk" I mutter as a tear slides down my cheek. Quickly, I wipe it away before turning to face him all while avoiding his eyes. He's not stupid...it doesn't take enhanced senses to know what's going on, but I'm sure it intensifies things... his hand moves towards my face and this time I allow the contact as he turns my face up towards his. I immediately get lost, those big beautiful brown eyes that let you know your the star at the very center of his universe. The sun that gives life to the surrounding planets.

His voice is as calm as darkness of space, deep and almost apologetic "Please talk to me Mesh'la. I know you're in pain." Sucking in a shaky breath, I attempt to steady myself. "I think it's best if we both go our separate ways" the sentence comes falling out of my mouth before my brain can even catch up.

I search his face for any indication of a reaction but get none. He doesn't move, doesn't speak, doesn't even blink for that matter. It's like someone pressed the pause button and all of the galaxy comes to a screeching halt. Meanwhile I tear his apart, the star at the center running out of nuclear fuel, causing a collapse at it's core, ending in a large galactic explosion.

Without another word or explanation, I decide it's best to give him some time to deal with the black hole now left behind. I storm off down the hall, walking much faster that I intended to, escaping the situation. Tears stream down my face and a few clones passing by exchange concerned looks. I'm suddenly filled by anger - I just gave up on him…on us, I don't need your pity - I think to myself.

The feeling of something warm in my hand catches my attention, stopping my in my tracks. Looking down I realize I still have one of my blades in my hand and I've been white knuckling it, the crimson liquid seeps between the cold durasteel and my skin. For a moment I watch as it drips to the floor, creating a small puddle that spatters with each drop. As I watch, string of curses in my native language of Mando'a grace my lips with their presence.

A familiar voice calls my name “Circe?” Without taking my eyes off the drips that have my undivided attention, “Elek? (Yes?)” I mutter - brain still working in Mando’a. The crimson drips are picking up their pace but I can’t help but watch in a trance. I can hear a set of plastoid boots hitting the permacrete growing closer. “You are injured, I would get that looked at if I were you.” Slowly I reach for the blade with my other hand and Tech moves like he’s going to stop me, “I would not—“ I cut him off, hissing as I pull the blade from the wound. The cut is deep and now that it’s hit the air, it stings. He sighs in annoyance “Come with me. You need to get cleaned up.”

In the med bay I don’t meet his gaze. He has no idea how I’ve hurt his vod (brother), not yet anyways. Once he’s finished, he stands in front of me as I stare at the white bandage now wrapped around my palm. “That should do it for now. You will need to have it changed tomorrow. Come find me then.” When he’s done talking, I expect him to move but he doesn’t. I finally raise my head and meet his eyes. The same big brown eyes he shares with so many others look back at me and one particular Clone Sargent comes to mind, I come completely undone.

Not a sound leaves my lips, but tears stream down my face. Tech looks around frantically as if something will appear of thin air and offer an explanation. I’ve always been able to confided in him, he’s my best friend but we never talked about how I felt…he never saw this coming. “I ended it” my voice cracks. The look on his face tells me he’s put two and two together, his eyebrows look as if they are trying to find a new home within his hair line and just when I think his eyes couldn’t get bigger they do. And just then, in his eyes another star burns up into nothing. I can’t blame him for how he might feel, I broke his vod’s (brothers) heart and no one saw it coming.

Composing himself from the shock, he clears his throat and straightens his goggles - as if they needed it. “I am sorry to hear that” is all he says. I can’t lose my best friend too…not now. “I can’t lose him” I blurt out, sounding way more desperate than I intended to. He gives me a confused look. “If he dies out there…” I can’t even finish the thought it hurts like a thousand blades cutting deep into my core. Tears stream more persistently down my face, clouding my vision.

“You do not want to lose him out there…so you push him away here?” Confusion dripping from his voice.

“I know it doesn’t make sense but Tech trust me…it’s better this way.”

“Better for who exactly?”

“For me.” He doesn’t respond and silence once again fills the room. I don’t know why I’m trying to explain this to him…he doesn’t and won’t understand. Pushing myself off the exam table, I stride past him towards the door. I hesitate for a moment, “This will hurt less in the end.” And with that I head down the hall to prepare to teach my next class.

Taglist:

@cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @maybethatfanfictionwriter

@savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

[bazookaboi]

@northerlyy, I found your following comment really quite fascinating; so much so that I wanted to put a response in another following post- (and also because it’s difficult to write long comments lol)

(sorry for taking so long TwT)

——————

(Northerlyy’s comment for reference):

“This is really good advice for artblock, especially for digital artists! Even with pencil, drawing traditionally puts you in a different headspace than digital art like explained in the post. Pen art is genuinely really fun, and it forces you to worry less about product and focus more on just putting shit down and feeling the way you're making the pen move on the paper. Even just sketching traditionally and then doing the rest digitally can help break the funk of art block for some people. For people who draw exclusively digitally, simply creating finished art completely traditionally could be really helpful.

I mostly do digital art now, but I do almost all of my sketches on paper and it keeps me interested in what I'm drawing. However, traditional projects, especially in less-mainstream medias like glass prints, dip pens, etc., have been some of my favorite projects I've ever done. When you have art block, easier is not always better, and something that's challenging enough to make you think but also simple enough that you can get into the rhythm of it is really good for destroying the monotony of one art media and reigniting the urge to draw. If you like nature, getting out can also help too, because there's nothing that makes me want to draw literally anything more than rediscovering the beauty of the world.”

——————

RESPONSE:

Indeed! Yep, pen art is great, lol. And oh, most definitely- taking a tradicional sketch and finishing it digitally is also quite helpful! This also reminds me of something similar that I do sometimes: at least for me, colouring traditionally takes a lot of motivation due to the time and effort it takes- leading to it being one of the main reasons why I don’t have many full colour traditional illustrations… 

Mainly because when adding colour to your drawing, it can take at least triple the time that it took you to complete both the sketch and the lineart. Plus, it can even be tedious; colour can either gloriously complete or absolutely destroy the drawing. What if you realise that the character doesn’t look good with the background once you finish? What about shading? What if a pigment turns out darker than you expected? (I always have to make a few mock test drawings…)

And if you are using watercolour and forgot to use waterproof ink for lineart… oh boy.

So! Sometimes I just don’t have the time or patience to go through with this and can resort to simply taking a picture of a traditional sketch and colouring it in digitally. It saves time for stuff like quick references.

And definitely, I agree on that last part- when you finish a full traditional illustration that was quite time consuming and complex, it feels quite neat! It feels like victory. When having gone through all those hours of hard work concentration, I can’t help but stare at what I made and think; damn, I did it? HELL YEAH I DID IT!!!

Even if sometimes the drawing may not come out like I wanted, i  still am happy knowing that I can push myself to create such things.

Practice = Progress, not perfection!

Heh, quite true- dip pens are epic. I worked with those a while ago and the whole process is really satisfying. (And ooh, you’ve done glass prints too? Man, I bet they are glorious…)

Hmm, that last part is particularly good advice… I fully agree, there’s something about nature that can inspire like no other thing, or at least provide a calming space to think of ideas. I never feel more at peace than in the middle of a forest, hearing the soft rustling of the leaves above.

Windy, rocky coasts are nice, too.

[pikatrainer99]

My strange over-connection to fiction...

Pokémon is the one game series I'll name my character my real name because the protags are self-inserts for the player and when I play Pokémon I take that "self-insert" concept as literally as you can get, as I throw myself into that world completely, to the point where it's like reality doesn't exist while I'm playing Pokémon because I'm so immersed in the game. For just ONE example, I remember getting banished from Jubilife Village in PLA and feeling like it was actually ME who was wrongly accused and punished for falling to Hisui from the rift. That scene where I walked out of the village with all the townspeople whispering about me, my character wasn't saying anything but I sure was. I was saying things like, "It's not my fault! I didn't do anything! I wanna go home..." "Home" in this case referring to my CHARACTER'S home in his original timeline, not MY home, because I was in my house, in my room when playing through that scene. I was already home, and had been home that whole time, but I was completely numb to my surroundings and feeling like my character, not my real self.

Games are weird like that sometimes, when you just get so sucked into the world of the game that reality doesn't exist for the duration of the time you're playing. It's only when you turn OFF the console that you become aware of the real world again, and it feels weird every time. I dunno, maybe that's just me and my tendency for my good ol' autistic hyperfocus to take over on whatever game I'm playing for hours on end that makes me so disconnected from the world around me, but it's still a weird feeling switching back and forth from being so engrossed in the world of the game, and then coming back to reality. I've done it tons of times now and it never gets any easier nor does it ever feel less weird.

Seriously, YOU try getting a game on launch day that you'd been excited for since its reveal, and booting up the console to play it, thinking that you'd just play for a couple hours, only to end up SO immersed that you end up playing for 48 HOURS STRAIGHT WITHOUT STOPPING AT ALL...yeah, that was ACTUALLY what happened when I first got my copy of Pokémon Violet. It was so bad I got my Switch taken away for a few days because I didn't eat or sleep or anything during that time. It was just me and the game, I wasn't aware of anything else. That was definitely an episode where my hyperfocus just couldn't be broken, but luckily I haven't had one THAT bad since. I HAVE had some 24 hour-long ones though, but not 48. Not since Scarlet and Violet came out.

Though honestly, reality just...sucks sometimes...like now, for example. To cope with life's hardships, I've ALWAYS used fiction as an escape, whether that be through video games, or through anime and cartoons, or through throwing myself into my OWN creative world for hours on end. I feel much, MUCH more connected to the fictional stuff I consume and create than I do reality. It helps a lot when I'm in a mental spiral like I am right now (anxiety and PTSD go brrrrr to the point of actually affecting my heart rate, elevating it by a lot for a couple weeks now because I'm always on the verge of panic), and I just know things would be a lot worse without the various fictional worlds I love so much, whether I create or consume said fictional worlds. Fiction is my comfort zone, it's always there for me when I need it. And sometimes when you've gone through a lot in life like I have, immersing yourself in fictional worlds just feels like a warm blanket cocoon or a protective shield. I know it does for me, at least, and I hope I'm not the only one.

[vampstel]

I had a question and this is solely so I can practice my own terms

- what references do you use when you draw guys

- How long have you been drawing guys for? How hard was it to draw them? (I know it’s probably been a little while but I’d like to know when you really got the hang of drawing guys)

I love it when you draw guys because I can use that as inspiration and a perfect reference since you draw guys so well.

For your design with me videos. How many layers did you end up using?

I mainly have Henry. He’s got such a cool outfit and I wanna use your ocs as a guide to creating my own…? Idk if this makes sense I just absolutely love your work. Your style is so unique and amazing.

Gonna be 100% honest, my answers for these questions are not going to be satisfactory or good so uh… beware 🫣

1. I don’t use any special references for masculine characters

Finding references for men or just masculine characters in general isn’t hard or special. It’s just about as normal as finding references for feminine characters. All you really have to do is find good clothes, hairstyles, and real people/already existing characters to get inspiration from.

Can’t really tell you much when it’s such an ordinary process to me unfortunately 🤷 Even for poses it’s the same. I’ll just find pictures on Pinterest, recreate it in a 3D model app and boom… A man on my canvas. Scary…

If you’re struggling with men, I think it’s good to just practice drawing real men sometimes. From celebrities, models, to just ordinary people. It helps with anatomy and figuring out how to depict traditionally masculine features. If you’re struggling with masculine designs… Don’t be afraid to depict men more ‘flamboyant’ and less bland. Masculine clothing is not as boring as people say it is, trust me :P

2. Ever since I started drawing. So when I was a kid lol

I’ve never been one of those artists who only drew one kind of gender representation and struggled with the rest. I can draw women, I can draw men, I can draw just about anything [minus mecha] even at a young age. It’s never been difficult for me to draw masculine presenting characters. What was (and still is) difficult to me was anatomy; Which was an all around issue regardless of character design.

I’d say I’ve gotten better this year, though. Or around late 2023 when I drew Royale High art of Lawrence and Rei. That’s when I got more confident with showing art of diverse characters and got more confident drawing different body types in general. Since before that, I kind of just kept art like that to myself since it was ugly and unpleasant to me 😭

So uhhh yeah… Anatomy’s the issue. Not the gender or anything. Since if I drew bad men back then, I drew bad women too LOL

3. I have no idea 💀

Assuming you mean canvas layers and not like… editing layers:

Layers are one of those things that vary from canvas to canvas and can’t be replicated 1:1 ever. It just depends on the style and the process you do. For example, I often use lots of layers to section off different parts of a drawing. From different colors and pieces ofclothes, to lineart, to shading, and more. My layers can go anywhere from 20-100 with this process. But, if I’m painting or sketching. it’ll be at most 2 layers.

Just depends on what you find more comfortable!! If you’re wary of mistakes, it’s good to use lots of layers so you don’t get confused which part of a drawing is where. Plus, you can erase parts easier without erasing the whole drawing altogether. So if you don’t like… Say your hair shading, you can delete the layer for that and redo it. You can also recolor parts easier too.

And If you want something more carefree, do less layers. Sometimes drawing with less layers and limiting yourself to 1 or 2 helps build line confidence and I suggest trying it out. It’s a great way to practice ^_^

[alltimefail-sims]

LORE TIDBIT TIME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Did you know Vlad was apart of the settler colony who mysterious disappeared? This is obviously a nod to the Roanoke colony which I think is sooo cool. What do you think happened to Vlad's colony? I like to think Vlad was turned or became a vampire and whipped them out.

HELL YEAH LORE TIDBIT ABOUT VLADDY DADDY!!! 😏

I'm going to treat this as a "deep dive" into Vlad and Forgotten Hollow, so I'll be adding it to my Deep Dive Series tag. Unsurprising to literally everyone, but this is gonna be a long one.

So… let’s get into it! ↓

Going into this I will admit that I actually did know this about Vlad!! I've been wanting to talk about it for forever but have never gotten around to it haha. 🤭 I'm a bit of a history nerd and I love a good spooky story/conspiracy, so naturally the Roanoke Colony was one of my obsessions when I was around 11 or 12 years old.

I think it's an interesting tie in from the sims team, I'd even say it's a bit meta because I feel like the game normally sticks to making references toward itself and its own canon characters/events while generally staying away from anything that would be too direct of a reference to "our world." Personally though I wish they broke the fourth wall more! I like easter eggs or hidden details that make it easier to imagine the characters existing not in their isolated, imaginary worlds, but in ours instead.

It's interesting to think about why the sims team might have made this connection - was it just a cheeky, unserious little wink to a well-known unsolved mystery, or was it done for the purposes of creating implications and expanded lore regarding Vlad and Forgotten Hollow (a case of them showing us instead of telling us). There are so many theories archaeologists and historians alike have had about the lost colony of Roanoke over the years: some believe the Roanoke colonists could have all died by disease or famine, some believe they could have been victims of a deadly storm, some believe they were attacked by neighboring tribes or by Spanish soldiers. Nowadays there are scholars who will argue that no tragedy befell the settlers at all and that they simply relocated (that would be why they left "Croatoan" behind - there was a nearby location referred to as Croatoan Island, now modern-day Hatters Island).

With that in mind, along with Vlad's own refusal to recall the details of this event, it's safe to assume that the sims team isn't referring to the happier Roanoke theories...the 25 colonists of Forgotten Hollow likely faced an unfortunate end.

Your theory of Vlad being turned and thus wiping out the colony (I'm guessing due to new-turn bloodlust) is sooooo compelling, the implications of that scenario are delicious and I personally never thought of it from that angle! My theory is only a little different: I agree that Vlad was turned on the day that the colonists "disappeared" (whatever that implies), but I have always played Vlad's story not as if he was turned and then killed everyone after, but rather that the thing that turned him successfully killed the other colonists but accidentally turned Vlad. It's a really long story that I play around with for fun in my brain but the short-ish version is: Vlad awoke outside - cold, alert, sweaty, dirty and covered in his own blood - but somehow alive, which he was thankful for. His new immortal condition is still unbeknownst to him at this point, but he felt an ache like never before, so deep in his bones it was excruciatingly painful, but his senses were heightened tenfold. He didn't remember much, just that the colony had been under attack the night before. His relief to be alive rapidly melted into abject horror as he found everyone else (friends, neighbors, family, children) dead. He realized soon enough what had happened to him and stayed in Forgotten Hollow where he would be memorialized as its "founder." He spent his days hellbent on retaliation and retribution, but was also steadfast in continuing the work that was began there before the attack. Eventually he does get to face off with the vampire who attacked him and his people, killing it and rising to power in the vampire world. He keeps the events close to his chest because they were traumatizing and cause him sadness, and he's worked diligently to remove himself from his humanity/human memories and from emotions in general (thus how he has become the person we see today). I always thought if he killed the colonists himself the other vampires in his circle - at least his closest confidantes - would know (as he's got quite the massive ego), but they don't seem to have knowledge of this event and they never mention it. I've thought that it could be possible that sharing the memories of this event would make Vlad feel weak, and he's not one to boast in his weakness. He'd much rather rewrite history in a way that is beneficial to his image; dragging up emotions about dead people would not bring them back to life, and by burying this history of a massacre in Forgotten Hollow he is also creating some mystery around himself and making it easier to play the role of a great-great-great-great grandson (or whatever he's pretending to be, relationship-wise) to the original founder.

But that's just how I play with Vlad! 🤷 I could be way off-base lmao!

Regardless of what happened, we know Vlad is the sole survivor of this event and he is scarred by it, impacted so deeply that he only ever vaguely alludes to it with no clear explanation. Whether he killed the colonists himself or just witnessed their death, the sims team will probably never give us concrete answers (and frankly, that's probably for the best considering their track record). But the clever connection of the LOST colony and FORGOTTEN Hollow are clear as day and I just think that is freaking cool! The occult lore in TS4, especially regarding Vlad and Forgotten Hollow, make interesting framework for storytellers and lore-lovers alike! Vlad is one of those characters who has sooooo many interpretations, and I eat up each and every one!

Okay, I think that's all I've got for now! Sorry about my word vomit! Somewhat related: here's an article I recently read on Roanoke that talks about the archaeological finds which have changed some of the discussions surrounding whether the colonists survived or not! I found it pretty interesting and you might as well!