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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

Text

Seasons of Med: Season 5 & Seasons of PD: Season 7: Necrotizing Fasciitis Scare (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 18

Jay's age: 32

Will's age: 34

"I am going to get you to understand football at this game come hell or high water," Jay told you as you said that you really didn't understand anything about football while Kevin tried to hook up the tv. Kelly threw Jay the football and Jay caught it.

"Hell or high water, huh?" you asked. "Did you just turn southern? Isn't that a southern phrase?"

"I can say whatever I want, thank you were much. Now catch." He threw you the football and you caught it easily.

"Kelly, I can't promise this is gonna be a good throw, so be ready to move," you told him as you threw the football to him. He had to jump to the left and jump high to catch it.

"Y/N, you suck at this," he laughed.

"I know."

"Jay, teach your sister how to throw a football, will you?"

He threw the ball back to Jay.

All of you were currently at Soldier Field to watch the Bears' game on a Friday afternoon. Will was originally going to go with Jay and you were going to study for your biology class, even though it was summer. You had decided to take a summer biology class so then you wouldn't have to deal with it during the fall and winter semesters when you'd be drowning in homework with other classes...and you figured you could do this one in the summer because you had heard horror stories of how hard this specific professor at CCU was. Luckily for you, Will was a doctor and could help you understand those damn diagrams that always gave you trouble.

Anyway, Will was going to come, but he got put on the schedule last minute, so Jay dragged you here even though you didn't know the slightest bit about football. Hell, you didn't even have any Bears gear to wear! Jay had given you one of his hats to wear with the promise that he'd get it back.

"Y/N!" Hailey yelled to you. "Wanna run to Mama Garcia's food truck with me?"

"Yes!" you exclaimed.

"Hailey," Jay whined. "I was just about to teach her how to throw a football."

"Halstead, if she doesn't know yet, I'm sure you can wait a few minutes. Now, I need my Spanish-speaking Halstead to come with me."

You had taken AP Spanish last year and had gotten a good enough grade on the AP exam to give you twelve college credits. This was partly thanks to Mama Garcia. You had been studying in her restaurant one night when you asked her a question about a tense. She explained it and then said that if you ever wanted to practice speaking Spanish and make some money at the same time, that you could work or her under the table. You took her up on that offer and your Spanish improved immensely.

Once you got up to the window of the food truck, you ordered a big batch of tamales in Spanish and then translated how much it was to Hailey. Then, you and Hailey went back to Jay and the rest of all your brother's first responder friends.

Kelly was yelling at Stella, Hailey, and you not to break into the tamales before the burgers were done, but you all didn't listen and each grabbed one out of the box.

You were in the middle of eating yours when you heard a scream.

You went towards the scream along with Jay, Natalie, and Kelly, but Jay made sure you stayed behind him. But, this didn't block your entire view, though.

You looked down at this man's leg. It was red and it looked like there was a giant gash on his shin with puss, blood, and flesh coming out. Things were moving underneath the skin. He was seizing and he kept saying BRT.

It was all too much. You took the Bears hat off.

"Y/N, I need you to get away from this. Whatever this guy has, I don't want you to--"

Jay didn't even finish his sentence before you vomited into that he had let you use, using it as a makeshift bowl for your puke.

He gently grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side after you finished emptying that tamale you had started eating into his hat.

"You done? You good?" Jay asked.

You coughed and then wiped your mouth. "Yeah, yeah. Sorry about your hat. I just- I don't like blood and that was nasty."

"I know. I think everyone's going to Med, so we'll run to the bathroom so we can throw away my hat now and you can rinse out your mouth. I think I have gum in my truck."

"Okay. Be glad I had the smart idea to puke into that hat, though. Or else it probably would've gone on you."

"Yeah, but I lost a nice hat in the process," Jay said as he rolled his eyes and you two made your way towards the bathrooms.

***

"It's necrotizing fasciitis," Will said. Everyone looked at him with a blank expression.

"Flesh-eating bacteria," you supplied.

"Wow, where'd you learn that, Short Stack?" Will asked.

"Can you not call me that? I'm eighteen! And, I learned it by watching Untold Stories of the ER."

"Junior doctor on our hands I think, Jay. And, you're still shorter than me and Jay so I can call you that, thank you very much."

"After her puking just at the sight of that, yeah, no way she's becoming a doctor," Jay said. "Anyway, the victim?"

"Right, sorry. Your victim had necrotizing fasciitis, more commonly known as, as Y/N said, flesh-eating bacteria. And, don't worry, it's not contagious. Only about four in a million people get it each year," Will explained.

"So, how do you get nec..." Kelly trailed off, not knowing the correct pronunciation.

"Necrotizing fasciitis. It enters through a break in the skin and just destroys the tissue under the epidermis. It--"

"The epidermis is the first layer of the skin," you said, reciting something you had learned in your biology class.

"Yes, it's the first layer of skin. But, as I was saying, it would really help us treat this guy if we knew who he was," Will finished after your interruption.

"I can't open a case file without a crime," Jay started, "but I'll see if I can run prints and check traffic cam footage. Maybe make out some sort of ID."

After a few minutes, everyone's panic had died down and you and Kelly were sitting down next to each other. He was trying to explain football to you even though you really couldn't care less. Meanwhile, Jay was about to make a phone call when Will motioned him over.

"Yeah?" Jay asked.

"You or Y/N have any contact with the victim? And, if you did, do you or her have any breaks in the skin?" Will asked, clearly worried about his younger siblings.

"No, we didn't have any contact. Just had Y/N puke in my hat I let her borrow," Jay answered.

"Okay, good. But, as I said, necrotizing fasciitis is rare, so you two should be fine. I gotta get back, but call if you find out anything on the victim."

"Will do. Remember to wear your gloves." Will rolled his eyes. "What? You just said it enters through breaks in the skin."

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

"One of my many talents."

***

"Hey, I'm leaving," Jay told you around noon the next day, poking his head into your bedroom while you stared at your lab lectures, trying to remember all the diagrams and pictures you'd need to help you identify body parts on your next lab practical.

"Okay, I'm going to the lab around 2:00 to study. That way I can actually see that stuff as I'll see it on the lab practical," you told him, not even looking up from your notes.

"Okay, be safe." He picked up Beary, who was leaning up against a pillow next to you, in a graduation gown and cap outfit. "Beary, can you make sure she takes breaks?" Then, his voice changed into his baby voice, what he always pretended was Beary's voice. "Oh, yes, Jay. I'll make sure she takes breaks while you're gone."

You laughed and reached out and took Beary from him. "Get outta here, you goon."

"Love you, too!" Jay called as he left your room.

You fixed Beary's cap and set him down, remembering when you got the outfit for him as you stared at diagrams.

"You ready, graduate?" Jay asked as he knocked on your door.

"Jay, I swear to God if you call me graduate one more time..." you said as you opened the door.

"You'll what?" he taunted.

"You know what, I don't know, but you won't like it. Are my bobbi pins noticeable?" you asked, referring to the bobbi pins you had pinned down to keep your blue graduation cap in place.

"Nope. You're good. Ready?"

"Ready."

You walked into the kitchen, to be met with Will. And behind him on the kitchen table was a vase of blue and white flowers, which were your school colors, and Beary leaning up against said flowers, wearing a blue graduation cap and gown. Just like you.

You laughed. "I cannot believe you guys."

"Hey," Will started, "Beary got a little backpack on your first day of kindergarten. Only fair that he gets a cap and gown on your graduation."

"Did you use the gift card from Mom?" you asked, referring to the one you had found in the letters to each of you that Will had found when you were cleaning out your dad's house after he died.

"We did," Jay confirmed. "Now, I need you to hold Beary in one hand and hold this picture." He handed you a photo of you with your little backpack on and Beary with his that your mom had taken of you on the front porch on your first day of kindergarten, right before Jay had surprised you by coming home from deployment early.

"Why do I need both?" you asked curiously.

"I saw this thing on Pinterest--"

"Wait!" Will exclaimed. "You have a Pinterest?"

"No," Jay scoffed. "But Hailey does. And she sent me a picture of something she thought you should do for your graduation pictures. You hold up a picture of you on your first day of school when you were little while you're wearing your cap and gown and then I take a picture of you. Since Beary was in that picture, I thought he could be in this one, too."

You grabbed Beary and allowed him to take the pictures. Now it was time to tell the news to your mom and dad.

***

"You won't believe what Will and Jay decided they just needed to get me," you said as you stood in front of your parents' headstone with Beary hidden behind your back. Will and Jay were over by a big tree talking amongst themselves so you could have some privacy. You pulled Beary from behind your back. "They got me a cap and gown for him because they said it was only fair because Beary got a backpack on my first day of school. And, since it's my last day of school, he should get a cap and gown, too.

"Also, which one of you called Will and Jay graduate all day on the day of their graduation? Because Jay won't stop calling me that and it's kinda getting on my nerves. Pretty sure it was you, Mom."

You sighed. "I wish you guys were here. Jay told me all about how you made him a special breakfast when he graduated and then went out for lunch before the actual graduation because the senior all-nighter was after. I don't know where we're going for our senior all-nighter, but I hope it's not boring. I've heard that a few years ago, some kids said theirs was super boring. I really don't want that. But, I'm glad that I could convince Will and Jay not to be chaperones for whatever my senior all-nighter is. I love them and all, but they can be a bit too overprotective at times.

"God, you guys should be here. Dad, I know you weren't the best, but you were trying. And, I'm sure if Mom was here, she'd make sure you behaved, because Mom would say it was a big day and that you couldn't be arguing with Jay." You laughed. "I can only imagine what it would look like with Jay on one side of you, Mom, and Dad on the other and you scolding both of them for fighting. Then, they'd both probably sit back and cross their arms. And, because of this, you'd probably say that I'm your favorite child."

"Alright," Jay laughed as he and Will made their way back to you. "I think it's time to go. We don't want to miss your graduation."

"You know none of us really care about the ceremony, right?" you asked, blinking back tears so that you wouldn't mess up your makeup.

"We know. It's mostly for the parents...or in your case, brothers," Will said.

You pulled out four flowers, two blue and two white, which you had taken from the bouquet that Will had placed on the kitchen table back at home, from the pockets in your dress underneath your graduation gown. "Give me one more minute."

You placed two flowers, one of each color, on top of your Mom's name and your Dad's name on the headstone. "I thought you two should have some, too. They're my school colors." You wiped your eyes as you felt a few tears prick them. "Remember to clap for me from heaven when I walk across that stage, okay?"

You took a deep shaky breath and turned back around. Will wrapped an arm around you as the three of you walked back to Jay's truck. Beary hung from your hand. In three hours, you'll have graduated high school.

You were taken out of your thoughts by your phone ringing. It was the coffee shop you worked at. And, no, it was not the one in your apartment building. But, Jay and other members of Intelligence did sometimes come in there to pick up coffee for them and the rest of the unit. This was only because they knew they'd get the friends and family discount since you worked there. But, they usually tipped you well, so you didn't mind.

Your manager asked you to come into work because someone couldn't come in. As much as you needed to study for your biology lab practical, you needed money for college more. And, you could always go to the lab tomorrow to practice for your lab practical. You also had Will. What good was having a doctor in the family if not to help you with your science homework? So, you decided to pick up the extra shift making coffee.

***

"Voight," Hank Voight said as he answered his phone.

"Hank, it's Wallace Boden. I need you to come down to the CCU science lab right now."

"Why?"

"Because Severide just told me that the victim at Soldier Field yesterday kept chanting BRT. This place is owned by BRT Labs. And, there was a fire set."

"You're thinking arson? You know we don't investigate that, Wallace."

"I know. Office of Fire Investigation is already on it."

"But, you think that the victim yesterday and the fire today could be connected?" Voight asked.

"I think it's highly possible. All I ask is that you come down here, maybe take a look inside, do some interviews, stuff you normally would do."

"Alright. I'll grab Halstead and Upton and we'll head down there."

"Thank you."

Voight hung up his phone and turned to his team, all of whom were knee-deep in paperwork after taking off yesterday to see the Bears game...which they didn't even get to see in the end. "Chief Boden needs some of us down at the CCU lab. There could be a connection--"

"Did you say the CCU lab?" Jay asked, standing up from his chair.

"Yes, Halstead, Upton, you're with me. The rest of you, stay here. We'll let you know if we need you or you need to look up information here." Voight looked to Jay who looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Halstead, we're going."

"Y/N's at the lab."

"It's Saturday," Hailey pointed out. "There's no classes on Saturdays."

"She said she was going there to study for a test. Oh, God. What if--"

"Jay," Hailey said as she walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "You just need to call or text her on the way there. She'll be okay. C'mon, let's go."

"Atwater, come with me," Voight said. "Just in case Jay's gotta go."

***

You finally took your fifteen-minute break after being swamped for a good half hour straight. Who knew so many people wanted coffee at four in the afternoon? The first thing you saw were seven missed calls and texts in all caps. They were all from Jay.

"What the hell?" you muttered as you pressed Jay's contact and brought your phone to your ear. He picked up on the first ring. "Why are you--"

"Where are you? The firefighters said they haven't seen you come out yet," he rushed out.

"I'm at work. What firefighters? What are you talking about, Jay?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows together.

"You're at work?" Jay asked. "I thought you were going to school to study?"

"I was. But, then my manager called me in. Why? What happened?"

Jay felt so much relief wash over him that he almost fell over in the grass on the CCU campus. "There was a fire in the lab."

"What? Are my friends okay? Did anyone die?" you rushed out. They weren't totally your friends, more your classmates, but you figured that was the easiest thing to call them.

"As far as I know, there weren't any fatalities."

You breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, okay, good."

"Just do me a favor: next time your plans change, text me."

"I can't promise I can remember that."

"Figures. But, I gotta go. Stay safe."

***

"Son of a bitch!" Jay yelled and threw his phone on the couch just as you entered your apartment after finishing your closing shift at the coffee shop.

"What?" you asked as you shut the door and then set your keys down and took off your hat.

"Hailey's in quarantine," he told you. "And it's all my fault."

"What? It's your fault? How'd it even happen? Why are people being quarantined?"

"Turns out that necro thing isn't as rare as Will told us."

"Jay, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh, there were a bunch of people at an apartment building who got the disease, so Will and others are there looking for a thing that somebody says they saw spraying the building. Could've been this exterminator person was trying to poison people in the building," Jay told you. "And now everyone in the building is quarantined at Med."

"And Hailey was in the apartment building...?" you asked, not knowing what this had to do with Hailey.

"I had her go to a house to talk to someone who was in the lab the same time as the victim. She, uh, the girl Hailey was talking to, fell over and she had the infection and Hailey touched her.

"Hailey had a hangnail or something—at least, that's the info that Will got from Natalie, and Will passed it on to me—so now she's in quarantine at Med. If I wouldn't have told her to go check out the lead, then maybe she wouldn't be in quarantine right now."

"Jay," you started, "you can't blame yourself. If it wasn't Hailey, it would've been you. Then you'd be quarantining at Med right now. And if it wasn't you or Hailey, it would've been someone else from Intelligence and then they'd be in quarantine right now."

"How did you get so mature?"

"Trauma."

Jay's expression immediately changed. "What? Y/N, if you need someone to talk to, I can get you that."

You laughed. "Jay, chill. It's a psych major joke...even though I know I really shouldn't be joking about trauma no matter what."

"Okay, good. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"I mean, I guess. What are we watching? And, I'm gonna make popcorn, too."

"Okay. We can watch anything but Contagion," Jay told you.

"What's Contagion?"

"It's about this virus that breaks out all over a city...much like what's happening now."

"Oooh, now I want to watch it."

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

***

"Hello?" you said into the phone the next afternoon when Mama Garcia called you. Jay was out working the case, Will was trying to find a cure for this bacterial strain, and Hailey was out of quarantine because she was cleared by Natalie. So, Jay wasn't blaming himself anymore.

You quickly spoke Spanish with Mama Garcia and she asked if you could come in because they got a huge catering order last minute and she needed someone to man the cash register while she helped in the back making the order. You agreed and made your way to Mama Garcia's.

***

You were busy working the cash register and speaking Spanish with the friendly customers when you started hearing yelling outside, something about MS-13. You excused yourself and made your way to the back where Mama Garcia was working on tamales.

"They're saying something about MS-13 out there," you told her in Spanish.

"I'm going to need you to say that in English, chica," she told you. "I think you said it wrong because you just mentioned MS-13," she said as she wiped her hands on her apron.

"No, they're saying crazy stuff," you began. "They're chanting that you're part of MS-13. You can't hear it?"

"It's loud back here. Maybe I'll hear it if I go to the front."

She came to the front with you where some customers were leaving the building through the side entrance to get away from the mob. There weren't any customers left in the little restaurant anymore.

"Dios mio," she whispered.

There had to have been at least two dozen or more people outside all yelling and saying that she was to blame for the bacteria. Some even held signs. Some had guns or sharp objects.

You pulled out your phone. "I'm calling--"

You stopped when you heard a crash. You barely had time to register what was happening as the Molotov cocktail flew through the window and shattered everywhere, lighting the place on fire and sending shards of glass everywhere, some ending up lodged in your leg as you screamed in fear and pain.

***

The men and women of Firehouse 51 got a call of a public disturbance at Mama Garcia's. As they pulled up, they saw the Molotov cocktail fly right through the front window towards you and Mama Garcia. Casey started barking out orders and everyone sprang into action.

You were inside and the smoke was getting thicker. Whatever they made this out of actually worked. You pulled your shirt up to your nose and mouth to try and stop inhaling it, but it didn't work very well.

You had been in front of Mama Garcia at the time it was thrown through the window, so you took most of the glass shards. This caused you so much pain that it was hard for you to move through the kitchen and to the door to get out.

"Fire department! Call out!" you heard Stella yell as you kept trying to walk toward the back door.

"Here!" you yelled.

"Fire department! Call out!"

"Back here! Help! Help!"

You heard heavy footsteps coming toward you and then you saw a firefighter and you felt a hand wrap around you.

"Hang on. You're gonna get out of here." Stella. "Casey," she said into her radio. "I need some help in here. Female victim, trouble walking, in the back in what looks like the kitchen."

"Copy. Coming in, Kidd."

About thirty seconds later you were picked up and told to close your eyes. You did, and it was only when you finally got outside, did Truck 81 realize who they had rescued.

***

Will was currently working in the lab trying to find an antidote to this terrible outbreak. But, something about Dr. Seldon was suspicious. He wasn't a detective like his younger brother, but he still trusted his gut.

Dr. Seldon hadn't noticed that Will was still in the lab when he started pouring chemicals into the samples. Now Will knew something was most definitely wrong.

"What are you doing?" he asked loudly, startling Dr. Seldon.

"Oh, these are contaminated samples," he answered easily like he had rehearsed what he was going to say.

Will pointed directly at him. "No. You know what? You need to stay right here."

Then, Seldon threw a punch and Will caught it easily. But, then Seldon hit him again in the stomach. In the split second that Will was doubled over, Seldon picked up a microscope and cold-cocked Will right over the head, causing him to fall to the ground as everything went black and he clutched his bleeding head.

***

Hailey was now back in the bullpen after being quarantined because she got checked out and everything was fine. She had to tell Jay to stop apologizing and that it wasn't his fault he had gotten into that mess.

"That's a blue hat, right before 2:00," Ruzek said as he looked at the security footage.

"Wait, I know this guy," Jay started. "He works at the CCU lab." His eyes widened as he realized what was going on. "He's with Will. We gotta go now!"

As Jay was sprinting out of the bullpen, his phone started ringing.

"Man, your phone!" Adam yelled.

"Just let it go to voice-mail!" Jay yelled as he ran down the stairs, not knowing that it was Casey calling him to let him know that they had pulled you out of a fire and you were currently being treated at Med.

***

You rubbed your eyes as you woke up a few hours later. You didn't know if it was the meds the nurse gave you to knock you out so she could pull the shards of glass out of your body or if it was from a combination of smoke inhalation and tiredness. Whatever the reason, you were awake now.

You turned to see your brothers and were very confused to see that Will was holding an ice pack to his head and Jay looked like he had gotten new stitches in his forearm.

"The hell--" You roughly cleared your throat. "The hell happened to you two?"

"We found the guy," Jay told you. "But, not before he cold-cocked Will over the head with a microscope."

"Who was he?" you asked.

"A professor at CCU. Dr. Seldon."

"I've heard of him. I think he only teaches graduate classes though, so I'd never end up being in one of his classes anyway. I'm assuming he's not teaching anymore?"

"Not a chance in hell," Jay confirmed. "If he wants to teach, he can teach all the other prisoners at Stateville."

"What happened to your arm?"

"Oh, you know him," Will began. "He's always putting other people's safety in front of his own like the idiot he is." Jay thought about smacking his older brother upside the head but decided against it only because he had just been hit in the head. "He decided that he'd rather be infected with the bacteria instead of the people in a conference room where Seldon was. So, he cut himself."

"You what? Do you have the bacteria?" you asked as your eyes widened in fear.

"No, I don't. Hailey shot in there to distract him and then I disarmed him. Will came in with the antidote anyway, but luckily we didn't need to use it."

"If Hailey got paid overtime every time she saved your ass, she'd never have to work again."

"Tell me about it," Jay agreed.

"Now, what happened to you?" Will asked. "Casey told us you were at Mama Garcia's?"

"Yeah, she called and asked me to run the front since she needed to be in the back to help work on a catering order. I went in and an hour later, there were all these protesters outside calling her a member of MS-13 and saying she started the outbreak."

"How?" Jay wondered. "Mama Garcia's like the sweetest lady alive."

"I don't know. Because people online are crazy? And then someone threw a flaming bottle of something through the window."

"And that's how the glass got in your leg?" Will asked. You nodded. "Well, the good news is that Maggie told me the damage was artificial. The reason you passed out was because of smoke inhalation. They gave you some oxygen and you're good to go once you're ready."

"Then why don't I have one of those nose thingies in?" you asked.

"A nasal cannula?" Will chuckled. You nodded. "It's because you slept long enough with it on that your oxygen is back up. And, the paramedics gave you oxygen, too. That's why you don't need it. Your levels are back to normal."

"Oh. Okay."

"You want your discharge paperwork?" Will asked.

"Yeah, Jay's gotta fill it out."

"Nope. You are not a minor anymore. So, you get to fill out your own paperwork."

You groaned as he handed you the clipboard with the paperwork on it. Now you knew why both Jay and Will hated paperwork so much. There was so much even for one little thing!

"You know, I think since you've achieved frequent flyer status at Med," Will began, "that Beary needs a hospital gown, too."

"No! Don't you dare!"

"Just write it down and give it to her for Christmas," Jay joked. But honestly, when it came to that bear and presents, you never knew if either of them was joking or not.

Everything seemed back to normal at that moment: Jay and Will joking about your Build-A-Bear, you and Jay constantly being in the hospital for whatever reason and life. Life was back to normal after this crazy weekend that had everyone in Chicago on edge and you couldn't be happier.

A/N: Idk how I feel about this one. There was so much going on in that crossover, that it was hard for me to figure out what I wanted to focus on...so, it turned into a shorter imagine. Anyway, thank you guys so, so much for reading! I also start my new job tomorrow, so updates might be a little less frequent (one or two a week, depending on how long the imagines are and how much I have to work). Anyway, please like/reblog and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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teamfreewill56-blog · 3 years

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are there any kyojuro dynamics you enjoy apart from the rengoku family? i personally love his friendship with mitsuri and uzui and i wish we got to see more of it. as well as tanjiro because it really hits deep just how fast they got so attached :( big bro kyojuro for life....

I love almost all dynamics with him, although out of the Hashira my top favorites are Mitsuri, Tengen and Obanai.

I also really love his friendship with Mitsuri and Tengen, and I wish we had gotten more of both of them too. It means so much to me that Kyojuro and Mitsuri see each other not only as peers but as some level of siblings and I find it even more special since they're both older siblings. I love how Mitsuri is able to see Kyojuro as her friend her brother and her teacher and not just one of these things and that Kyojuro does the same for her. I love that he was able to teach her about love and confidence without having it be anything romantic, and that Kyojuro started things for her he didn't solve anything for her. Mitsuri solved things for herself. Her confidence, her accepting herself, she did all of that on her own but Kyojuro was a huge influencer and support for her in that. There is a lot of love and respect in their relationship and its really such a shame that we only saw it really in Rengoku Gaiden. I've said it before but I feel extremely cheated that we didn't get to see Mitsuri and Tengen really deal with Kyojuro's death and them having to face those aftereffects and I am really salty that Kyojuro did not appear in Mitsuri's "life flashing before my eyes" moment. Because aside from probably her dad he is the most important man in her life. And yes, even more important than Obanai because the Mitsuri Obanai fell in love with partly exists because of Mitsuri's relationship and time with Kyojuro. Mitsuri and Kyojuro's friendship is just exploding with so much love and empathy and understanding I adore it.

Kyojuro and Tengen's friendship. I love Tengen and Kyojuro's dynamic so much because they're both incredibly dependable and responsible and they clearly take each other seriously and that means so much to me because I feel like a lot of people don't do that with Kyojuro, both in canon and in fandom, (canon mostly its like civilians)--but at the same time I feel like they feed off each other's energy in the best way. Like if one of them gets an idea the other one is absolutely going to run with it and help them get it done. And its not in the hyper chaos, annoying antics kind of way, because honestly I don't see them being a chaotic duo at all. But like I feel if Kyojuro and Tengen were to plan some kind of activity it would be well planned, entertaining, fun and safe. And if something goes wrong, its okay because Kyojuro and Tengen know how to handle it together and it'll be fine. I would love to see them try to deal with the Squad together or anything involving younger kids because Kyojuro reacting to Tengen losing his temper with Inosuke would be gold.

Although Kyojuro and Tengen aren't identical I do feel like out of all the Hashira they're the two who look at each other and are like "he gets it". I doubt they get along perfectly, but I feel that they understand each other the best, they know they have stuff in common and they use that to their advantage and thrive on it.

Kyojuro and Obanai because not only do they both have a relationship with Mitsuri but we have that implication that Obanai stayed with the Rengokus for a bit, and just that knowledge that Kyojuro probably had no issue with accepting him at all. I feel like Obanai staying with them probably played a decent part in Obanai not turning antagonistic after what he suffered through. And I dunno there's just something really endearing to me about knowing that when Shinjuro brought Obanai to their house Kyojuro and Senjuro probably immediately accepted him, and treated him with a lot of the positive feelings and acceptance and love that he had never gotten before and I'm just really enamored by the fact that the Rengokus got to be that for him.

I do also love his relationships with the squad just because yes, big bro for life! And you could just see they really needed that in their lives and how good he was for them and it would have been so wholesome and cute! And as much as it hurts its so sweet how fast he and Tanjiro got attached, like Tanjiro immediately saw him as big brother and Kyojuro had no issue with it at all, and Tanjiro and the squad really needed him. Like it was made so clear in that short time that they needed Kyojuro in their lives and then to have him immediately taken like that...😭 But Tanjiro would have thrived way too quickly under Kyojuro and we all know it. All of them would have. I will always love and appreciate that Kyojuro meant so much to Tanjiro and that he influenced him so deeply.

Big brother Kyojuro for life, all the way. He is the perfect big brother and he was literally everyone's big brother and did amazing at it.

#kyojuro is the best brother #flame hashira #flame pillar #set your heart ablaze #demon slayer mugen train #Kyojuro's relationships #I love all of them what are we talking about lol #anon asks #these are my top though #demon slayer #rengoku kyōjurō

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dracosathenaeum · 3 years

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ofc!!! And I just wanted to add that manacled doesn't romanticize the things per say it's mostly the fans. Like apparently there was this one girl that shifted to manacled like she was Hermione and then complained when Draco treated her like a piece of shit instead of being romantic and sweet like??? Also it's totally true that people like that are in every fandom but there seems to be a lot in dramione because it's very hated because it's forbbiden love or whtv, also no offence to you if you take it and even though I am techinally not a minor either I just feel it's very very weird that Dramione fans mostly consists of adults- Like they age up the characters just to put them through something or sexualize them.. Oh and one more thing I think Golden Boy got taken down because it's on Wattpad and it was around the time when Wattpad was bought and they were 'clensing the app' or smth, and well you can report a story on AO3 almost 99% of the time no matter if it has incest or even worst it doesn't get removed. Also also it's not just manacled. People/The author of 'The Auction' were gonna turn it into a fan film?? The story itself is pretty fucked up, and seeing people making a toxic and digusting relationship normal is to say the least very distrubing. Especially that fic were she is being literally SOLD. Anyhow I think I talked too much woops! I just never ever meet nice Dramione fans willing to talk about it.

i- what even was that first part 💀 is that person okay lmao

no worries about all about the offending part. i write for draco and recently a lot of people have been aging draco up for step!dad etc fics so i kinda get where you're coming from, it happens everywhere. with this like this, just because it makes you or i uncomfortable, it doesnt mean its necessarily disgusting or gross. if they were aging up a minor, then absolutely it's just wrong, but as Draco was 18+ by the end of the books and middle aged by the end, i don't think i could agree with you whole heartedly there.

also i have a feeling you'll never read dramione so speaking as someone who has read hundreds of dramione fics and am an avid reader (ie, i read roughly 50+ a year), having older people in the community makes the writing so damn good. some of these most well known fics were written better than half the ya books ive read. and that's something i probably can't say for many other fandoms (we are not counting After the harry styles fic remotely in the same category)

omg it was Golden Boy yes, jesus what a shit show that was.

as for your last point, there are hundreds upon thousands of books, films, tv series revolving around the topics of sl*very, m*rder, r*pe etc. you could say that Voldemort trying to murder a BABY was equally disturbing. so another work of fiction in this format doesn't change much in my opinion. fanfiction is a work of fiction ie made up. I've read The Auction and i can happily say it's one of the best works ive read and does not portray in the way you think at all. i understand that if you have just read the synopsis and have heard others talk about the premise, you could see it as such but that's simply not true when you read it.

no worries about the rant, i do it a lot ie here. if you actually read all of this than thank you! I'm sorry that you havent had many nice interactions with people who like dramione and i hope that this discussion has been useful in anyway! i know it sounds like im just disagreeing with everything you've said and partly it is but as i can see where your opinion comes from, i hope you see mine

#anon <3 #dramione.chats #zo answers <3 #tw rape mention #tw murder mention #tw slavery mention #dramione

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btsqualityy · 4 years

Text

Scripted: Part 19

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating, emotional/mental manipulation

“Are we sure that none of our men had anything to do with the shooting?” Kim Sang-hoon asked, for what felt like the 100th time in the 30 short minutes that Jimin had been called into a meeting in Namjoon’s office, along with the other members of the security detail.

“Everyone has been vetted, they’re clean,” Jimin assured him.

“How can you be so sure?” Sang-hoon pressed and Jimin wanted to claw his own fucking eyes out in annoyance.

“Dad, stop,” Namjoon spoke up, making everyone look over at him where he sat at the head of the large rectangular table. “Now, while I appreciate your eagerness in making sure that what happened a month ago doesn’t occur again, I trust that Jimin nor anyone else at this table had anything to do with the shooting. Also, the committee that was put together to find the assassins are sure that the three people they have in custody acted alone.”

“You can never be too sure with these types of things, Namjoon-ah,” Sang-hoon replied and Namjoon nodded.

“I know, which is why Jimin has come up with some new and improved security measures for us,” Namjoon said as he raised his hand and motioned to Jimin. “Go ahead.”

“All cars and limousines are being outfitted with new bulletproof glass, bulletproof tires, and new senors underneath. All routes taken by chauffeurs will be changed regularly, so that they don’t become too predictable. The President and First Lady’s public event schedules won’t be released until the morning of the event and at said event, there will be an increased presence of armed guards in addition to our regular security detail,” Jimin explained. “Also, at large scale events where there are a lot of people present, we will have armed snipers stationed on top of every building that’s visible.”

“Armed snipers?” A member of the security detail, Jaebum, spoke up. “Aren’t those usually reserved for occasions of the utmost importance?”

“I think that any occasion to protect our President is pretty important, yes?” Jimin wondered with an arched brow and Jaebum quickly nodded in agreement.

“Well, I for one think that those measures are a great start,” Namjoon said.

“I agree, but we also don’t want people to think that the shooting has made you soft,” Sang-hoon pointed out.

“Right, but there’s nothing wrong with a little extra precaution,” Namjoon chuckled. “I know my wife would be happy for the extra peace of mind that it would afford her.” Jimin had to shut his eyes momentarily to stop himself from rolling them at how casually Namjoon had mentioned you, because Jimin knew that he probably only did that because Jimin was present. When Jimin opened his eyes again, he caught Sang-hoon eyeing him weirdly but he decided to ignore it.

“I am drawing up some more plans as well, which I’ll bring to you once I work out the logistics,” Jimin told Namjoon.

“Great, I’ll look forward to them,” Namjoon nodded curtly. “You’re all dismissed.” Jimin began to gather up his papers and binder while the rest of the security detail hurriedly grabbed their notebooks and filed out of the room in a quick line. Jimin was the last one to pass through the door of Namjoon’s office, making it about halfway down the hall to his office before he heard his name called.

“Park!” Jimin turned around and he’d be lying if he said that he weren’t surprised to see Sang-hoon walking out of Namjoon’s office and over to him.

“Yes Sir?” Jimin replied.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about something,” Sang-hoon requested and Jimin nodded while shrugging.

“Sure, come into my office,” Jimin said, turning around and leading the way to his office, opening the door and allowing Sang-hoon to step inside first before following behind him and shutting the door.

“What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?” Jimin wondered as he walked around his desk, setting his binder down on top before lowering himself down into his desk chair.

“I wanted to talk to you about your involvement with my daughter-in-law,” Sang-hoon stated. “Whatever is going on between the two of you, it needs to stop today.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about Sir,” Jimin feigned innocence, making Sang-hoon scoff as he stepped closer to the desk and set his hands on top of it, slightly leaning over it towards Jimin.

“Don’t play dumb with me kid,” Sang-hoon warned. “I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive.”

“What, cheating on your wife?” Jimin guessed and he took a little bit of pleasure in the way that Sang-hoon’s eyes slightly widened, not expecting that answer. “If that’s what you’re referring to, then I’d definitely agree.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about kid,” Sang-hoon chuckled darkly. “Men like me, men like my son, we live a certain lifestyle that men like you could only dream about in your wildest fantasies.”

“Oh, you mean the lifestyle that includes manipulating your broken hearted daughter-in-law into taking back your son who doesn’t deserve her?” Jimin laughed. “Yeah, you can keep telling yourself that.”

“I didn’t manipulate her, I just helped her see what was right in front of her, which is what I’m trying to do for you,” Sang-hoon said and Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

“Ok, I’ll bite,” Jimin shrugged. “What am I not seeing?”

“You’re not seeing the fact that your relationship with Y/N is not going to go anywhere,” Sang-hoon told him. “Namjoon told me about how she made a great, big declaration the night of the shooting that she was going to divorce him but she still hasn’t done it yet. Why do you think that is?”

“Because of the shooting,” Jimin answered without hesitation. “She felt bad about wanting to leave him after all of that so she needs time.”

“Or she came to her senses and realized that there was no future for her with a pawn,” Sang-hoon rebutted.

“A pawn?” Jimin laughed. “Do you think she’s using me or something?”

“Partly,” Sang-hoon responded. “That, and also the fact that she’s too damned nice for her own good and isn’t sure how to let you down easy so she just keeps stringing you along.”

“She is not stringing me along, or using me,” Jimin scoffed. “She’d never do that, not to me or anyone else.”

“Look,Y/N is the type of woman that needs constant and consistent love and attention and while my son is out running this amazing country of ours, he isn’t always able to cater to her needs,” Sang-hoon explained. “Now, where do you think Y/N went looking for that love and attention?”

“I know what you’re hinting at, and it couldn’t be further from the truth,” Jimin told him. “And plus, even if she did come to me looking for love and affection only, I’m pretty sure it’s because President Kim takes after you in regards to how you treat the women in your life.”

“They have an arrangement.”

“That you manipulated her into,” Jimin chuckled. “So we’re back to that point.”

“Look Jimin, you’re a smart kid. Even I know that much,” Sang-hoon huffed. “Assuming that she’s told you everything that has transpired between those two, do you really think any woman who’s been through all of that would even hesitate at leaving if she were serious about doing so?” Jimin stared at Sang-hoon for a few seconds before lowering his gaze down to his desk and thinking about his question, because Sang-hoon did make a valid point.

“She hasn’t left him because she’s still in love with him,” Sang-hoon answered for him once a few seconds had passed without any response from Jimin. “They’ve been in each other’s lives for almost 10 years now and have seen each other through the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Do you really think you can compete with that?”

“But she loves me,” Jimin murmured softly, almost as if he were trying to convince and remind himself at the same time.

“She probably does,” Sang-hoon nodded in agreement. “But just like Namjoon, just like me and hell, even just like you, she has an immense sense of duty inside of her. Part of her duty, as both Namjoon’s wife and First Lady of South Korea, is to be the backbone. Do you think that she’s really going to let everything fall apart at her feet because she fell in love and decided to leave?”

“No,” Jimin replied honestly.

“And you Jimin, you know what your duty is too,” Sang-hoon said and Jimin looked up at him. “So you need to decided what’s more important here: pursuing a love with someone who’s unobtainable, or your sense of duty to do the right thing?”

.............................................

“You’re an absolute idiot, but that’s just my own personal opinion,” Momo said as she moved about Taehyung’s office, shuffling past where you sat on the edge of the desk as you watched her look for some files.

“You think so?” You wondered and Momo nodded her head, opening up a file cabinet and literally almost sticking her entire head inside as she searched for what she was looking for.

“I understand that Namjoon has been trying, but it’s too late for trying,” Momo muttered. “He’s done you so wrong over the past year and he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“But we’ve been in each other’s lives for almost 10 years,” you sighed. “I do love him, even though he’s a dickhead.”

“And you can love him, no one’s saying that that’s wrong,” Momo replied, lifting her head after finding the files that she had been looking for. “But you have Jimin in your life now.”

“So you think that I should go with him?” You questioned, watching as Momo walked back over to the desk and plopped down in the chair that was behind it.

“Y/N, I haven’t seen you smile the way that you do when you see Jimin in over a year, and I missed it,” Momo smiled lightly. “He makes you happy and after everything that you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy and I wish you could see that.”

“I do see it, I just can’t get over everything that I’ll be leaving behind,” you admitted. “Namjoon is familiar, the life that I have as First Lady is familiar. Not to mention the fact that I have an obligation to not only Joon, but the country.”

“You can’t let that completely dictate your life though,” Momo replied. “You need to chose the man who you know for a fact you can be happy with, and you know as well as I do who that man is.”

“I do,” you nodded, taking a deep breath to steady yourself because you now knew exactly what you needed to do. You jumped down off of the desk and stepped over to Momo, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and hugging her tightly. “I love you so much Mo. Thank you for being here for me.”

“I’m your best friend, it’s my job,” she chuckled. “But I love you too. Now go get your man.”

“I’ll see you later,” you promised, standing up straight and quickly walking out of the office, immediately heading down the hall to Jimin’s office. You raised your hand and knocked on the door three times, before you heard Jimin’s voice from inside.

“Come in,” he said and when you opened the door, your jaw instantly dropped at the sight in front of you. All of the pictures of his family that had hung on the walls were now gone, along with all of the little knick knacks that had lined his desk. The only thing that was on his desk now were two large brown boxes, which Jimin was putting things into when you opened the door.

“What’s going on?” You asked as you stepped inside, shutting the office down behind you. Obviously not expecting to see you. Jimin sighed heavily before looking up at you.

“I’m cleaning out my office,” he said and you raised an eyebrow.

“Are you switching offices or something?” You chuckled.

“No, I’m quitting,” Jimin announced and your eyes instantly widened.

“What?”

“I’m quitting,” he repeated. “I handed my resignation in to President Kim about 30 minutes ago.”

“Did Namjoon have something to do with this?” You demanded to know. “I swear, I’m gonna kill him.”

“He had nothing to do with this, this is all me,” Jimin told you, putting the last of his belongings into the last box before using some tape to seal it shut.

“Well, why are you quitting?” You wondered.

“I can’t do this anymore Y/N,” Jimin said. “We were never meant to work, and I know that so I’m cutting my losses now.”

“Jimin, no,” you pleaded, watching in horror as he stacked one box on top of the other before picking them up and walking around the back of the desk. “I love you.”

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” he said with teary eyes and you instantly shut your mouth at the sight. “Now, I love you too but we never had a chance in all of this. I never had a chance in all of this and I just need to accept that.”

“But you do!” You shouted.

“Remember how I asked you to be honest with me?” He said and you nodded your head. “Well, you just broke that promise right now by lying to me. We never would’ve made it and you know that as well as I do.”

“Jimin,” you whispered but Jimin just shook his head, and you knew that anything else you could say would only fall on deaf ears.

“Goodbye baby bird,” he murmured, stepping around you and opening the door to his office, stepping out and letting the door close shut behind him. As soon as you heard the door click shut, the dam inside of you burst and the tears that you’d been holding back started to stream down your face, the pain of Jimin walking out on you causing what felt like a deep crack in your heart.

.............................................

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dreaming-of-assclass · 4 years

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UwU would like to hear your thoughts on Irina civil war

Nao! (I’m so sorry, this is so late. It got buried in my drafts ihhhhh)

Ah yes: one of my favorite Civil War concepts 😤

So basically the class would be split in:

A) Allow Irina to stay in the class. She’s young, has lived a very traumatized life...she deserves a second chance.

B) Hell no. She tried to kill us, she betrayed us. I don’t feel comfortable being around her.

I mean, those are the basics. All of this is way more nuanced than that.

Side A would bring up the argument that Irina was stuck in a tough position herself. She was heartbroken, vulnerable, and you can’t exactly say no to the Reaper. He would have killed her immediately. She was trying to protect herself too.

Side B would say to keep in mind that things had gone well for few months...like Irina was getting adjusted to the class and truly seemed like she cared for them. And then she betrayed them...they almost died. That 180 switch in how she treated them...how can they trust her again?? How do they know this won’t happen again no matter what she says??

Both sides have understandable views on the matter. Unfortunately they both feel that the other is either invalidating their feelings...or being plain cruel.

THE SNIPERS ARE SPLIT UP FOR ONCE OOOOOOOOHHHHH. Yeah I bet y’all weren’t expecting that hehehe.

Side A: Irina, stay with us!

Her trusted students: Yada and Kurahashi. They both are fiercely protective of her return to the class and are the most vocal in their opinions.

Terasaka...he was the first one to forgive her in canon and I think that’s very true to his character. After his redemption, he wants to give others a chance...just like how everyone gave him one.

In a similar vein to him, Kayano also knows that she’s far from being a perfect person...in fact the guilt from the tentacles is always in the back of her mind, even if her desire for revenge far outweighs it. She believes it’s only fair to give Irina another chance.

Also similar to both of them is Itona, who also feels weighed down at times by his past actions. He knows he had a rocky start to the class...and so he feels it’s not really his place to just write Irina off. He feels a bit of solidarity between their experiences as well: they’re pretty similar ngl.

Okano, Kataoka, and Nakamura also were some of Irina’s fave students. And although they don’t feel as strongly as Yada and Kurahashi, they are attached to her...and want her to stay as their teacher in the family they’ve built in 3-E.

With Kanzaki...she’s naturally an open-minded person. And in regards to this, I think she could easily find it in herself to forgive Irina and understand why it all happened. She’s good at including every detail, analyzing situations and seeing things from Irina’s point of view. (Haha our literature nerd cutie)

Takebayashi has a similar case to many above: he’s betrayed the class himself (although on a way lesser scale). But he gets it: and he thinks Irina deserves the same kindness that was shown to him.

Maehara and Okajima are both pretty lighthearted and forgiving guys. This situation hits them both hard and they have a difficult time deciding...but ultimately they believe Irina really does care for the class. And that the last months they spent with her meant something.

Kimura...has a somewhat skewed sense of justice, due to personal things (cough his dad cough). And he does A LOT of reflection after everything. And as scary as it was...he decides that Irina can redeem herself. Even though he hates her boob lessons...she’s still his teacher who’s taught their class so much and was apart of their family.

Chiba is a naturally kind and empathetic person. I think once he really sits down and processes what Irina went through, the logistics of the situation, just so many nuances...he can find it in himself to give her a second chance.

Side B: Irina, get out of here!

Ooh, this is gonna catch you off guard. But yes, Nagisa, Sugino, and Hara are anti-Irina. The latter two are kind and empathetic people yes...but they’re also both fiercely protective of their classmates/friends. And in this situation, the safety of their friends would definitely be more important than Irina’s feelings. They’d see her as a threat.

For Nagisa...I think the experience of dealing with 2.0 hit him harder in a different way. He saw how Reaper tried to break Kayano’s ribs. That’s his best friend...he felt so angry and hurt in this situation, WE SAW. That’s why I truly believe Nagisa would be less than forgiving towards Irina, who aided in hurting him and his friends.

Hayami gets hurt in a different way in this situation...she’s gotten taken advantage of and never allowed to express her dissent in anything for SO LONG. And now after finally building confidence in 3-E...she’s supposed to just let their traitor teacher come back?? And act like she’s totally fine?? Hell no, she’s not.

Karma is pretty self-explanatory lmao. He really has a near-impossible time trying to forgive her and feel comfortable in the class again. He’s on high-alert all the time and feels protective over his friends... Like this kid has bad trust issues in general, there’s no way he can ever feel totally fine with Irina again let’s be real.

Okuda was legitimately terrified for her life that night with Reaper. And she never ever wants to feel that paralyzing sense of fear again. She also has a hard time being around Irina again.

Isogai! Surprise haha. There’s lots of angst with this one. The class could’ve died that night partly because of Irina’s actions. And he can’t forgive that easily. Like he has an impoverished family to think about. His sick mom and siblings need him. He’s the main provider at home. If he died that night because of Irina...his family would just break apart. And thinking about such awful possibilities cements Isogai’s opinion that she needs to leave. They’ll be fine without her.

Sugaya, Muramatsu, and Mimura all have pretty much the same view. They were terrified for their lives, are pissed that she did that, etc. They’re slightly torn since they’d like the class to go back to normal but...it needs to be addressed.

Fuwa kinda was brought back down to reality after all that. Like yes it was kind of a cool experience to talk about, like action-packed. But once the adrenaline left, it hit her how much danger she was truly in. Fuwa wants adventure, but not at the cost of her safety or others.

Hazama and Yoshida are on the same wavelength...they’re partly there to support Muramatsu and Hara, and also because Irina leaving is the safe way out. Like logically speaking...the woman is an assassin. She’ll just move on with her life, they’ll be safer, etc. So much more good to come out of it.

Ritsu remains neutral, just like she does in canon.

Korosensei and Karasuma both step back and decide to let the students figure it out, having trust in their decisions...and because it’s ultimately an experience that only the students have shared. It’s not their place to dictate how the kids feel. They both push aside their personal feelings about Irina to focus on the kids, who are top priority.

Irina is...trying her best to keep a cool face. A small deep part of her is on the defensive, wanting to continue to prove herself as a teacher and assassin. But the majority of her understands how they feel and respects that completely. She mentally prepares herself to leave the class and forget the kids forever...even though it’ll be so hard.

#assclass #assassination classsroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #irina jelavic #3-e #ask #feel free to ask me more about this au!#its kinda interesting #to think about all the opposing sides #clownao #irina civil war au

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sevensided · 4 years

Text

Fathers in Stranger Things

This recent conversation about family acceptance in ST has made me think a lot about fathers in the show. I believe that a central theme in the story is acceptance. Acceptance of the supernatural, acceptance of differences, acceptance of one another. This dovetails into other key themes - forgiveness, friendship, and love - but in the context of parents and, specifically, Mike and Will, I think acceptance is an interesting way to think about how fathers or father figures play in their eventual relationship.

Every father on the show is an absent figure. This is for two reasons: to illustrate how much more hands-off raising children was in the 80s; and to highlight the role mothers play in the development of our characters. This also links into broader, structural themes, such as heterosexuality, patriarchy, and gender roles. On a simple level, the fathers are absent because it is the mothers who do the child rearing. This absence, however, also reveals the lack of paternal support in the lives of our core characters, and as a result, the supplementation of father figures. This dovetails into a theme that carries throughout the show - that of found families - but when it comes to Mike and Will’s development, together and separately, this relates importantly to how they will come to see themselves as young, probably gay, men.

Fathers

To start, I’ll briefly overview the main fathers of the series. We can largely group them as absent but harmless, or absent and harmful.

Ted Wheeler is an apathetic feature in Mike’s life. He is typically involved in scenes that underscore the domestic discord of the Wheeler household, and his role is primarily to show how unhappy Karen is in their marriage, and how his children do not connect with him. While there are some indications that he cares for his children, these are not carried through onscreen and, for the most part, Ted does not participate in raising Nancy or Mike.

Lucas’ father, Mr Sinclair, is presented once in association with his wife, Mrs Sinclair. Their breakfast table scene is used to show the dynamic of the Sinclair household, and for Lucas to ask his parents abstract advice on how to win Max back after their argument. Mr Sinclair makes some period-typical comments that are intended to be funny, but they also indicate that Lucas was brought up in a fairly stereotypical atmosphere (to paraphrase: “What do you do if mom’s mad at you?” / “Yes, what do you do?” / “Your mother is never wrong”). You could go all galaxy brain and say this is a nod to Joyce Byers - who spends a lot of the show trying to prove she’s right - but as this is the sole scene that features Lucas’ parents, it is our only insight into their familial dynamic, and therefore our only frame of reference as to how Lucas is raised.

Dustin’s father is not mentioned in canon and it appears he was raised in a single-parent household. With no evidence to the contrary, we can go ahead and assume that Dustin’s only meaningful parental relationship is to his mother, with whom he has a strong bond.

Lonnie Byers is an undesirable and unreliable father who left Joyce and his sons before canon. When he does reappear in S01, he is proved yet again to be a grifter looking to take advantage of Will’s disappearance and assumed death. It it subtly indicated that Lonnie was abusive to Jonathan (“You’ve gotten stronger”) and, it’s possible, to Joyce or Will too. He is certainly proved to be homophobic (“Lonnie used to call him a qu**r, said he was a f*g” / “Is he?”). Lonnie may be entirely physically absent, yet his impact on Will resonates through the story, and in a figurative sense, he is very much present.

Steve’s father is, similarly to Ted, indicated to be a work-focused man who is rarely around the Harrington household. In S01 he goes on a work trip and is accompanied by his wife (“My mom doesn’t trust him” / “Probably a good thing”) which indicates he may have been unfaithful to Mrs Harrington in the past. He is a very literal absence in Steve’s life yet appears off-screen as a forceful presence (“My dad is a grade-A asshole”) that shapes Steve’s life, culminating in S03 with Steve’s job at the mall.

The biological father of Billy and Max’s step-father, Mr Hargrove, is an abusive, sexist, and dangerous man, whose impact on Billy is so severe that it renders him vulnerable to possession by the Mind Flayer and eventually results in Billy’s death. When El goes into Billy’s memories in the S03 finale, we see how Mr Hargrove used sports to bully and antagonize his son into performative masculinity, and how he often resorted to physical violence against Billy and his late mother. Our other insight into Mr Hargrove’s paternal presence is through Max, whose behaviour indicates that while she is, possibly, partly protected by her mother, she is not protected from Billy, who takes his anger with his father out on her. Max is cagey about the full impact of Mr Hargrove, but is it subtle and sufficient enough to show that he is among the most dangerous male characters in the series so far, and his onscreen absence, like Lonnie, resonates figuratively in the lives of our characters.

The final father figure to discuss is Dr Brenner. Brenner is cold and remote in that he is the PI of a government-funded underground project modeled on MK Ultra, and thus treats Eleven like the scientific subject she is. Brenner’s acts of care are only figured as manipulation tactics (such as talking quietly yet firmly to El, carrying her from the solitary confinement cell when she kills the guard, allowing her a toy lion) and cannot in good conscience be considered parental kindness. Brenner’s power over El is so potent that Kali draws on their shared memory of Brenner in S02 to capitalise on El’s powers. El perceives Brenner as a father (“Papa”). Like Lonnie and Mr Hargrove, Brenner’s absence lingers and retains a hold over El.

As we can see, you have absent but harmful figures like Dr Brenner, Lonnie, and Mr Hargrove, and absent but harmless figures like Ted, Dustin’s father, Mr Sinclair, and even, to an extent, Mr Harrington. This rough categorisation helps us see that the show’s fathers are painted into a conspicuous binary that reflects the expectations placed on our characters as they learn to become men. Are they jocks or nerds? Straight or gay? In the world of Reaganite Hawkins, society is bookended by the normal and acceptable, or the abnormal and unacceptable. In this context, fathers - and to a larger extent, masculinity - either exist passively or aggressively, and both impact our characters either overtly (Billy and Will) or subliminally (Mike and Lucas).

Father figures

The characters above stand in stark contrast to the father figures presented in the series. These include Hopper, Bob, Mr Clarke, and Steve. Quite by chance, they each represent different elements of masculinity and different figures of power in the lives of our main cast.

Mr Clarke, for example, is representative of institutional power (a teacher) and has a strong influence over the Party in encouraging their curiosity and natural interest in science and the world around them. He is not typically masculine - he is a nerd - but he gently guides the Party through school and is shown to care for them.

Bob is representative of a found father figure in that he steps into the Byers’ life in no permanent sense (“This is not a normal family” / “But it could be”), but his respect of Joyce’s boundaries nevertheless sees him exercise a positive influence over Will (Jonathan, by Bob’s own admission, is harder to crack - understandable, given Jonathan’s past with Lonnie and, possibly, other men Joyce has occasionally had in her life). Bob’s absence - his death - is palpable, and leaves a lasting impression on Joyce, who is arguably in mourning for a good part of S03. In a similar vein, you can also make the argument that Jonathan is a father figure to Will (but that deserves its own post).

Steve represents more of a big brother role to the rest of the Party, but it is possible to see Steve as a father figure to Dustin, particularly over the course of S02. Steve drives Dustin to the dance, gives him advice on girls (a stereotypical “dad talk”), protects him, and supports him. In S03 their relationship has shifted into more of a friendship, but that does not take away from their initial dynamic that had a paternal undertone to it.

These are all examples of father figures. But the most important example of this is Hopper, and it is because he subverts this mold. Aside from the obvious link to El, in that he raises her from S02 and even becomes her “father” (Jane Hopper), it is not Hopper’s absence as a father that is important, but the absence of his daughter. Hopper is therefore an inverted male character. The absence (death) of his daughter stands in binary to the Party’s biological fathers, who are otherwise the absent ones. In contrast, Hopper is very present. Hopper is a father in the literal sense, but he is a father figure to Mike and Will: Mike, through his relationship with El and in the absence of Ted (Hopper gives Mike the “dad talk” in S03); and Will through Hopper’s relationship with Joyce. Hopper’s absent daughter is substituted most clearly by El. But in an abstract way, he also fits that role with Mike and Will too. In sum, Hopper’s absence as a biological father is redeemed when he becomes a father figure to other characters. He is therefore neither harmful or harmless, and can be seen as an outlier - but that is deliberate. It is deliberate because he and Joyce are the only parents/parental figures who know and understand the supernatural in Hawkins. I suspect that by the end of the series, Karen may be drawn into the fold too.

Mothers

I mentioned at the start that the absence of fathers highlights the role that mothers play in the series. This is best understood - and perhaps only understood - with direct reference to Karen Wheeler and Joyce Byers. Karen and Joyce have huge roles to play in how Mike and Will will come to understand themselves. They do this in spite of the male absence in Mike and Will’s lives, because a central theme of the ST story is love, especially maternal love.

Karen Wheeler is introduced as a typical housewife whose role it is to care for her children - Nancy, Mike, and Holly - and take care of the Wheelers’ home. She is in an unhappy marriage with Ted, and is unhappy enough to consider having an affair with Billy in S03. It is her sense of duty that prevents her from carrying this out. Karen is repeatedly shown to reach out to her children and frequently offers emotional support (most potently in S01-2, S03 being the sole exception [“It’s hard to keep track. You know what it’s like - summer!”]). Despite their rebuffs Karen does not give up trying to support her children. She is occasionally successful (Mike comes to her for comfort once per season, and she and Nancy are shown to have a tumultuous but altogether strong relationship, culminating in the S03 kitchen speech scene) yet, arguably, Mike and Nancy’s willfulness and growing up is a point of frustration and another source of unhappiness. While it will blow over - they are both teenagers - in the context of the show their rejection of her emotional support further reinforces her isolation. It is important to note that while Mike does crumble and come to her for comfort, this happens only in times of duress (Will’s disappearance, Will moving away). In other words, Mike does not rely on his mother for emotional support but she is still his mother, and when he does come to her it is during Mike’s emotional high points. These are always linked to Will. This directly ties Mike’s emotional development as it relates to Will to the maternal support given by his mother.

Joyce Byers is, as we all know, the resident PFLAG rep. Her relationship with Will is a central element of the story, and it is strengthened not despite Lonnie’s absence but in spite of it. It is moot to think of how Joyce and Will would have developed if Lonnie had stayed in canon, because Joyce is repeatedly shown to be driven by the love for her children. What is essential to understand about Joyce is that she is an atypical parent. She is a single working class mother whose brushes with normality (e.g. Bob) are taken away by the supernatural. As mentioned before, this further highlights the thematic divide between normality/abnormality and visible/invisible that are staples to the plot. In other words, Joyce has not found her “normal”, because Will has not yet found his normal. Until that happens, her happiness is at stake, partly because it is tied to the happiness of her children, but because Will’s overarching influence over the supernatural elements in the story is inextricably tied to his sense of belonging. Joyce, unlike Karen, has already won her child’s trust and support. Will’s story, therefore, is linked more closely to the absence of his father, whereas for Mike, it is not the absence of his father that is to be overcome, but his aversion to connecting with Karen.

Mike and Will

Taken together, I believe that when it comes to Mike and Will and their respective sexuality, it is not the fathers that will figure in their coming out, but their mothers. The show plays on the absence of fathers and places them in opposition to the presence of mothers. It is maternal love that guides Mike and Will, and it is maternal love that will protect them. This concept is only subverted by El and Hopper’s relationship, for it is El’s mother and Hopper’s daughter who is absent, therefore implying that they are contradictions, or inversions, of the show’s presentation of the familial.

Mike’s relationship with Ted is not a model. Aside from Ted’s general apathy towards his children - he demonstrably leaves the discipline and care of their children to Karen, as evidenced by every family scene in which Karen makes the decisions and Ted remains silent - he appears to have given up in connecting with Mike as his son. I mentioned before how Mr Hargrove used sports to coerce Billy into performative masculinity; the same can be said of Will, who disliked it when Lonnie took him to baseball games, and even destroys Castle Byers with a baseball bat. In contrast, Mike’s baseball bat (picked up in S01 by Nancy, who pretends to be practicing for the softball team) is in the garage, indicating it is not used, if it ever was. Arguably, Mike’s insistent and forceful personality might have bowled the passive Ted over, but Ted’s disconnect to his son is also evidenced in S01 when Ted jokes, “Our son, with a girl?” I have discussed here how this line was a blatant reference to Mike’s “nerd” status. As S03 has proved, the Duffers rely on 80s tropes to sublimate existing themes in their story. With nerds typically understood in 80s cultural discourse as sexually and romantically inexperienced social loners, Ted’s comment betrays three things: how he perceives his son; the failed expectations for his son; and how the audience is meant to understand Mike as a character. Ted does not feature in Mike’s upbringing, and I think this is deliberate for two reasons: to underscore how traditional Mike’s upbringing is; and to foreshadow that it will not be Ted’s opinion of Mike that matters in the end. It will be Karen’s.

Will’s relationship with Lonnie is, as presented onscreen in canon, non-existent. It only plays out off-screen and we have not yet seen Will and Lonnie interact in person. Regardless of where you stand with the theory that Lonnie’s abuse manifested in Will to become the Mind Flayer (I personally agree with it), Lonnie’s eventual presence in the show will be a critical moment and, likely, the climax of the entire series. As addressed above, Lonnie is indicated to be homophobic, if not abusive, to Will in the past. I won’t touch on the abuse as that is largely hearsay at the point of writing this post, however the homophobic language is canon and therefore has a bearing on how we are expected to interpret Will and his relationship to 1) other boys/men, and 2) his sexuality. Both Mike and Will have no meaningful relationship with their fathers. Yet, while Mike’s father is absent and harmless, Lonnie is absent and very much harmful. Thus, the lasting influence of his absence is made more potent by the power of Will’s memories/imagination. Having been subjected to direct homophobic bullying, Will’s sexual identity is tied very much to his relationships with older men, with Jonathan, Bob, and to an extent, Mr Clarke, as positive representations of masculinity, and Lonnie on the other end of the spectrum. To Will, Lonnie may be physically absent but he is figuratively present. As such, it will not be Lonnie’s reaction to Will’s sexuality that is important. It will be Will’s overcoming of Lonnie’s hold over him that will be the defining moment in his character arc.

Parental absence is key to Mike and Will’s development together and individually. Both Mike and Will have to overcome their absent fathers in different ways. The key to this will be breaking free of the societal expectations placed on them, drawing strength in maternal love, and, crucially, finding love and acceptance with each other. The defining point is that despite surface-level indications to the contrary, it is not the fathers who are important: it is the mothers.

#stranger things meta #stranger things theory #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #*#meta

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tea-mew96 · 4 years

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An Analysis of Armada Starscream’s Character Arc

So after reading @baebeyza‘s answer to an ask here, I decided I wanted to make a separate post sharing my view on some of the points made there, mainly the ones taking about Starscream’s character arc. Make sure to read that original post before going through this in order for this anything below to make sense. This is all my personal interpretation btw, so feel free to agree or disagree as much as you want. Also, spoilers for Transformers Armada.

For starters, I’m of the belief that Armada is a mess in regards to writing up until the Unicron Battles act of the show, but Starscream’s arc was arguably one of the better parts of Armada IMO. Plus he’s one of my fave characters in the show. Thus, I’m going to analyze and provide my perspective on some of the things mentioned in the original post.

1.) The fight between Megatron and Starscream in “Rebellion”. If you thought the fight between these two in this episode felt contrived, that’s because in-universe it kinda was. Remember Sideways? He was manipulating both Megatron and Starscream throughout that entire episode in order to get those two to fight to the death. He was successful in getting the fight to happen, but there was no death of one of the bots like he had hoped would happen.

2.) Thrust and Megatron’s plan in “Sacrifice”. It’s true that Starscream had ownership of the Star Saber when the Decepticons finally got it their hands on it. That is, until Megatron had his Minicon Leader-1 trick him into attacking Demolisher with the sword in “Conspiracy”. The end-result was everyone agreeing that only Megatron should be allowed to wield the Star Saber, questioning Starscream’s competence. Ever since then, Megatron was the one in charge of the sword.

So why didn’t he want Starscream to have the sword? Simple: Megatron is an arrogant dick who is afraid of Starscream. Megatron sees Starscream’s confidence as a threat to his status as supreme Decepticon leader, and Starscream challenging him to that fight in “Rebellion” (despite his emotions being manipulated by Sideways in order to do it) is evidence of that fear being somewhat founded in Megatron’s eyes.

As for Thrust, he’s also quite arrogant, thinking of himself as the “best tactician”. Because of his perceived high-intelligence and ability to think of “great strategies”, Thrust believes that he’s better than any other Decepticon…including Starscream. The fact that someone so “below him” has the title of “second in command” doesn’t sit well with Thrust.

Basically, what you end up with are two arrogant people who either don’t like and/or fear Starscream.

The plan that Thrust makes is aimed to retrieve the Requiem Blaster, a powerful weapon which is currently back at the Autobot base. If they want a chance of breaking in, they’re going to have to lure as many Autobots as they can out of the base. In other words, they need a distraction. And because of their combined distaste for Starscream, Megatron and Thrust decide that he is the one that should be the distraction. I’m also guessing another reason to keep him in the dark was to keep the reaction as convincing to the Autobots as possible; sometimes being informed on the twist causes a less-convincing performance, and a convincing disguise was an important thing the plan needed in order for it to work. Thrust does imply that Megatron would have to give up the Star Saber for a time in order to ensure the retrival of the Requiem Blaster, which Megatron agrees to. Starscream only got the Star Saber in this situation because of that little tradeoff to make the plan work: distract the Autobots with the opportunity of getting the Star Saber back while the Decepticons invaded their base and grabbed the Requiem Blaster. And the mission does end up being a success.

This plan was definitely a gamble, as they could’ve easily lost the Star Saber and the chance to grab the Requiem Blaster, but it was one that worked in their favor, so all’s well that ends well. Who cares how Starscream feels about not being informed? Megatron and Thrust sure didn’t.

3.) Starscream, Alexis, and Sympathy

I’m also going to argue that while the messy writing can make it difficult to feel bad for Starscream, that doesn’t mean the potential to isn’t there. I personally have a lot of sympathy for him, even if his story wasn’t executed as well as it could’ve.

“Rebellion” and Thrust’s plan in “Sacrifice” are both driving forces for Starscream to join the Autobots, and a justifiable one IMO.

In “Rebellion”, Starscream gets beaten by Megatron for…no reason. Starscream followed Megatron’s orders exactly as he wanted. But because they lost the previous battle and Megatron can’t admit to being wrong, he blames the loss on Starscream anyway. Sideways says in-show that Megatron beating up Starscream for his own loss was absurd. And the abuse only stops when Demolisher blasts his way in and intervenes.

“Sacrifice” only furthers this mistreatment of Starscream, being used as a punching bag for the plan and getting abandoned without being informed about what was going to happen. This combined with the multiple times he’s been belittled by both Megatron and Thrust sends him over the edge, attacking everyone in the base when he gets back and eventually going to the Autobots for refuge and help to get revenge.

When Starscream arrives, the Autobots-especially Hot Shot-are reluctant to have a Decepticon join the folds so little after their dear friend Smokescreen almost dying by their hand. Hot Shot in particular is still hurt over Sideways’ betrayal. I’d argue those facts make for valid and understandable concerns, even if it results in some drama.

Regardless of their hesitance, almost everyone knows and agrees that having Starscream go back to the Decepticon base after attacking everyone there wasn’t going to end well for him. Thus, Optimus orders that they will let Starscream join their ranks (he’s a good dad).

Alexis was one of the first to suggest that Starscream join, and one of the first to attempt to get him to open up to cooperation with the team, probably because she saw potential in having him as an ally like Optimus did. Towards the end of the episode “Mars”, Alexis congratulates Starscream on a job well-done with getting the Minicon Firebot to join their side (praise ain’t something Starscream receives a lot of). Starscream scoffs and says he’s only on their side to defeat Megatron, but he leaves behind a moon rock, something that the kids had asked Jetfire and Starscream for earlier before going on a mission to Mars. I agree with Alexis in her conclusion that this is evidence of Starscream starting to change for the better. In the next episode “Crack”, the kids award Starscream for his nice gift by throwing him a surprise party and gifting him a chamois. What stands out to me about this scene is that Starscream has no idea how to react. He’s confused because he’s not used to receiving many positive words of praise from his former Decepticon peers, much less a present.

He does push away help and positivity from the Autobots and the kids (to unintentionally hilarious degrees at times), but I think that’s partly due to the kind of impact his experiences with Megatron have had on his mind. He wants approval and acceptance, but once he starts getting it he rejects it. This is merely speculation from a psychological perspective, but I think Starscream has a hard time getting used to receiving kindness because whether consciously or subconsciously, he doesn’t believe he deserves it. The belittlement and mistreatment by Megatron has made him believe otherwise, and/or that every positive acknowledgement received always comes with a catch later on.

Yes, Starscream does return to the Decepticon fold later in “Crack” when Thrust convinces him that he has a better chance to get revenge on Megatron by coming back and conspiring with Thrust. But his short time with the Autobots and kids did impact him. He was extremely hesitant to fire the Hydra Cannon at Earth in “Threaten” and “Crisis” (even though he fires the cannon anyway after said hesitation), regretted the death of Optimus in “Remorse”, saved the kids from being killed by the Requiem Blaster (now in the hands of Thrust) in “Drift”, and stays behind to help Alexis retrieve her necklace safely (made from the moon rock Starscream gave the kids) in “Portent”. Starscream shows even after leaving that he has started to learn a little bit about compassion.

During the show, Starscream becomes a person who isn’t quite sure whom he should side with, as his personal goals contradict the overall goals of both sides. And how does his story end? He gets killed by Unicron, trying to convince Megatron (technically Galvatron now, but whatever) that Unicron is a real threat and that he needs to ally with Optimus and his team to defeat him. And his final words? Telling Megatron that he was a dick to him and that Optimus treated him better in that short time period than Megatron ever did.

Look, I get it. Armada’s a mess of storytelling. I wish there was more build up to Starscream defecting to the Autobots and coming back to the Decepticon fold. But we still got a pretty descent arc in the end, even if it could’ve been done better. I can’t make anyone feel sympathy for Starscream, but I refuse to deny that his story didn’t impact me or many others.

Starscream’s arc to me is the story of an abused bot trying to find his place in the world and not truly finding it in the end. It’s the story of a bot who dedicated every fiber of his being to serving his leader and getting nothing but shit in return. I feel bad for Starscream; he deserved so, so much better than what he got.

The thing about that chamois scene is that it had a longer impact on Starscream than the episode initially implied, as I mentioned in the examples above. I’m sure exchanging of gifts probably won’t mean much to someone who is used to getting and giving them. But to a bot who’s been abused by Megatron like Starscream was? That’s a fucking revelation. That’s new. That challenges his viewpoint of the world around him. If it didn’t, he wouldn’t have had second thoughts about firing the Hydra Cannon. He wouldn’t of saved the kids, he wouldn’t have helped Alexis with the necklace. He wouldn’t of helped Optimus convince Megatron to join forces and defeat Unicron.

Alexis was a firm believer that Starscream could be a better person and by extension get onto a path of recovery by showing him small acts of compassion and kindness at a time and celebrating those small victories of improvement. She wanted to be his friend because she recognized the potential he had. She recognized that Starscream needed support, needed a friend, deserved respect. That’s something he never got much of if any during his times as a Decepticon.

TL;DR Starscream’s character arc in Armada ain’t perfect but it’s still one of the best stories in the show that can impact you and I will forever stan him.

#tf critical #tf analysis #transformers armada #unicron trilogy #starscream

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probablyobsessingovertv · 4 years

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Riverdale 4x18: Varchie, Archie, and my attempted explanation of what the heck I think (hope) is going on- (There’s a TL;DR at the end, but please consider reading it all, especially if you are in need of Varchie hope :)

Disclaimer: This is entirely my opinion. I am not associated with Riverdale in any way other than being obsessed with it.

It’s not that Archie doesn’t love Veronica or doesn’t care about her anymore because he does. Archie doesn’t realize that what he did was wrong, like actually wrong. I think he knew that he shouldn’t have kissed Betty while they’re with other people, but I don’t think he knows what he’s really done. He did say that he loves Veronica. Yes, it was after Betty said she loves Jughead, but he still said it.

What caught my attention was his reaction to when Betty said she didn’t want to hurt or lose Jughead. He said the same thing about Veronica, but his face and tone made me do a double take. He didn’t even consider that before I don’t think. He thinks he can have both. He believes he can have these feelings for Betty and that Veronica’s still going to be there. It’s like ‘she’s been there all along for the last three years so why wouldn’t she keep being?’ He doesn’t think anything he does could damage that. He doesn’t understand that having Betty means losing Veronica. He doesn’t get that he’s already hurt Veronica and he’s continuing to do so. He didn’t think about how his confused feelings are going to impact and potentially destroy his relationship with Veronica (and Jughead). He doesn’t, or at least didn’t get that, I don’t think. In his mind, Veronica was quick to forgive him for kissing Betty last time, so why wouldn’t she again? They were fine after last time, no long-term consequences, no break up. He still had Veronica and Betty, and he thinks he will again. Well yeah, except, Veronica and Archie (and Betty and Jughead) weren’t together when Betty and Archie kissed the first time and they were in a life or death situation... Also, Archie was honest with Veronica. Yes, it was partly because Cheryl was blackmailing him with it, but he also knew that he had to tell her himself before she heard it from someone else. It’s not the same thing this time, Archie. Not at all. This entire episode’s story was pretty much told from Betty’s POV so we got very little of Archie’s thoughts or what he was really feeling, if you ask me. We saw more of Betty’s feelings and how he reacted to those. He didn’t mention Veronica while at Fred’s grave. He didn’t say hardly anything about her other than that she was with Cheryl at the very beginning of the episode. I think if we would’ve seen his POV, it would be obvious that he’s conflicted. I understand why people are upset with how he was portrayed in this episode, but in my opinion, he was almost treated as a side character to Betty’s story. I truly believe that if we would’ve gotten more from Archie’s POV, we would see that he really does love Veronica and is thinking about her, but is also thinking about Betty and confused about what he feels for her. I kind of understand where they’re both coming from. Trust me, I’m upset with Archie (and Betty) too, but I’m just trying to (somewhat) justify what Archie’s doing and trying to stay positive about Varchie by desperately finding any way I can to give Archie the benefit of the doubt, so please, hear me out.

It’s a huge time of change for Archie and Betty (and everyone), and it’s easy to want to feel safe again when everything you know is changing and you don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s natural to want to go back to what’s simpler. For Archie, in my opinion, that’s Betty and music. It was simpler during his sophomore year. Betty was in love with him, he and Veronica were flirty and happy, he was writing songs and playing football, his dad was alive, he hadn’t been to jail, and truly, just everything was simple. I get that, I do. It’s not an excuse for cheating and lying and going behind your girl/boyfriend’s backs though, not even close. Veronica (and Jughead, but I’m focusing on Veronica for this) does not deserve that. She deserves to know what Archie’s feeling and honestly, if he’s this conflicted about his feelings, she deserves for him to let her go. I know, I hate typing that probably as much as you hate reading it, my fellow Varchie lovers, but I really believe that’s what’s best for both of them, at least for now. They both need to grow individually and figure out who they are apart from each other before they can, hopefully, come back together even stronger in the future. Right now though, Veronica deserves the truth and yes, it’s going to suck. Yes, she’s going to be heartbroken and angry and confused and blindsided, but she needs to know, and Archie needs to be the one to let her know. It’s not healthy for Veronica to believe everything’s good and they’re strong and happy or for Archie to be unsure and confused and wondering about his potential feelings for someone else.

In my opinion, either something or someone needs to slap Archie back (physically would be great, but I’ll take a figurative one too), and remind him why he loves Veronica and what she means to him like Cheryl did for Betty with Jughead, or... they need to break up. They need to figure themselves out and grow as single people, and then if the time is right for them to come back together later, great. I’ll be all here for it, as long as Archie genuinely apologizes, realizes what he did, and has matured enough to own up to his mistakes and not make them again. I want to see him fight for Veronica and for their relationship if the show is really going to bring them back together. I think Archie has a lot of growing up to do and he needs to do that before he can truly understand how badly he screwed up. And yes, Veronica has some maturing to do as well, but she didn’t emotionally or physically cheat like Archie did.

For the record, I am not trying to hate on him. I love Archie and Varchie, but there’s no doubt that what Archie did was wrong and that he should’ve stopped or broken up with Veronica way before anything in the bunker or the garage happened. I don’t think it’s right now that Archie will understand that, unfortunately. Right now, Archie believes Veronica’s just going to follow him anywhere and no matter what he does, he’ll always have her. That’s not true. Yes, she would follow him and continue to be with him.... IF he didn’t cheat on her. She would support him in joining the Naval Academy because she would support him in anything. Again, IF he were honest and if she knew he really loves her and cares about making sure they stay together. They would make long distance work. They would stick together, count on each other, love each other... Veronica would be ready to do all of that. She trusts Archie.. Well, she thinks she can trust him... and what really sucks is that she can’t right now. She would never let herself be put through all of that after finding out he cheated on, lied to, and deceived her... She deserves a lot better than that and she knows it. She doesn’t know that she deserves better than Archie right now because she doesn’t know what Archie’s really been doing, which is honestly what hurts so much about this whole thing.

Long Conclusion: Archie loves Veronica. I don’t think there’s any doubt in his mind about that. I know people will disagree with me on that and that’s fine, but I really do believe he loves her. He would never have said all of those words to her about their future or any of that if he didn’t. He would not have stuck by her after everything Hiram has put him through if he didn’t love her. Archie does not want to hurt Veronica. He definitely doesn’t want to lose her, but I don’t think he realized that could really happen until Betty said so and it, unfortunately, probably will. What does he do right after hearing that? He tells his mom he’s all in with the Naval Academy. He’s running away from guilt, from the consequences of his actions, from the facts that he has to face Veronica and tell her the truth, he’s probably going to lose her, and that he feels something for Betty, but doesn’t know what it is or how to control it. He’s running off to the Navy to escape it all. He’s leaving so that he doesn’t have to face the reality that he’s hurt people he cares about. The one thing he never wanted to do, as we’ve seen and heard on multiple occasions (4x8, 4x18, I know there are more). He’s most likely going to lose the girl he loves and probably his best friend too. (which I don’t know if he’s even considered yet) On top of that, he’s also realizing that everything’s changing. Everyone is getting ready to leave. Betty, Reggie, Veronica, Jughead, everyone, is leaving Riverdale High and for the most part, Riverdale. That’s completely normal, but Archie didn’t have a plan for after high school like everyone else, so he made one. The Navy. Like he said, he wants a fresh start. A fresh start where he isn’t the bad guy. Where he didn’t break Veronica’s heart or lose out on Betty or destroy his friendships. He does not want to get away from Veronica because he doesn’t love her, but because he does and he doesn’t want to accept the fact that he MESSED. UP. He’s going to face serious consequences and suffer because of it, so he’s leaving. Who knows what that means for him and Veronica.

I’m just afraid he isn’t going to realize it quickly enough and the damage will already be done before he can come to his senses and be honest. She’s going to find out another way. Through a tape, I’m afraid. Maybe it’ll be people in masks of Betty and Archie or maybe it’ll be the real thing... and that’s going to hurt her a heck of a lot worse than if Archie told her himself, if that’s what happens. At least in the long run, she would know that he was honest. That he cared enough to tell her and to protect her from future heartbreak and pain. The really sad thing is, I don’t think he’s going to get a chance before it all blows up in his face. Then I think Veronica’s going to leave (maybe even before graduation), and Archie’s going to be lost. He’s not going to believe she’s actually gone. He’s going to realize what he’s done and it’s all gonna hit him like a truck. He’s lost the one person who was truly there for him through everything. The one that he loved and who loved him all along. The person he could always lean on. I think that’d be a good story to tell. A really painful one for sure, but a good and, in my opinion, realistic one. That’s what I think Archie’s really dealing with. He doesn’t know it yet, but I think he’s about to, and it’s going to suck for everyone involved.

TL; DR: Basically, Archie still loves Veronica, but he also clearly has some unresolved feelings for Betty. He doesn’t realize how badly he screwed up and I think he’s clueless to the fact that he’s probably going to lose both Veronica and Jughead. In my opinion, Archie’s running away to the Navy to avoid the consequences on all fronts. Also, I think Jughead and Veronica are going to find out about the kiss through a tape before Archie or Betty can tell them the truth, yikes.

I’m clearly a long-winded speaker, but I had a lot to say and I hope this made even an iota of sense. It was basically a brain dump of my thoughts on this whole thing and where I think and hope Archie’s head is.

Thank you to @loverofthor-2 for encouraging me to post and always being so supportive and uplifting. Give her a follow if you haven’t already, she’s awesome!!!

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear other opinions on this whole situation.

#riverdale #riverdale season 4 #varchie #veronica lodge #riverdale 4x18 #archie andrews #brain dump #archieronnie #betty cooper #jughead jones #bughead

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fallenfurther · 5 years

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Werepuppies 7

When you go through your email drafts (which is how I write most my fics, as an email draft on my phone on the way to work or in the tea room) and find a forgotten post! Something a little fluffier after my last two posts.

Original post, Part 1, 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 and 6.

***

Dusty had his eyes on the prize and snuck up to it. He opened his mouth and pushed up in his front paws. His mouth closed around his father's ear, the fur tickling his tongue. His paws landed on the floor and he tugged. Dusty loved chewing ears, just as much as he enjoyed tugging the rope. His father's paw came down against his back forcing him to the floor. He let go of the ear and rolled onto his back and looked his dad in the eye. A stern glare met his and the werewolf growled.

Dusty. You've been told not to grab ears. I'll keep you inside tomorrow if you do it again.

Dusty stuck his tongue out and wagged his tail before righting himself. He knew he shouldn't bite ears. Dad had pulled him off his siblings enough to know that, but it was fun. There were so many fun things he couldn't do. No howling, no biting, no chewing things that weren't toys. That was one of the worst ones. Uncle Scott had these leather shoes that were great for chewing. They were tough so he could really get his teeth into them and they didn't smell as bad as most the other shoes on the island. Unfortunately, they were something call 'dress shoes' and he hadn't been very happy. He had yelled at Dad and Dad had been cross with him. Dusty was given a special chew toy, Dad called it Kong, four days later. Sienna sometimes took it but Dusty always got it back. He had spotted some dress shoes in Dad's closet the other day, and they smelt better than Uncle Scott's had, but Dad had pulled him away from them with a loud 'No'.

Dusty sauntered away from his Dad and grabbed the tennis ball. A quick shake and a few bites satisfied his urge before he dropped it. He turned around to see his Dad was still looking at him. Dusty felt a little nervous, was he still mad about the ear? Dusty shook himself out and stretched his legs with a yawn. Sienna swore the moon made her stronger and more awake, and Vincent agreed. Dusty had to admit Sienna might be right because it was the only time she would play rope with him. He hated to admit she did seem to pull him more than he pulled her. The moon didn't give him energy or keep him awake, it just made him feel funny. He didn't like the moon. Well, he liked what it did to Dad. They all like to play with Dad in wolf form. Dusty yawned again.

Bedtime Dusty.

But Dad!

Dusty pleaded with the wolf. His whole being begged as he gazed up into his father’s brown eyes. His sibling’s said his eyes were the same as Dad’s, which Dusty liked. He felt a little left out with his light-coloured fur, especially because it reminded him of Mum. He missed his Mum, but Dad had said he might find a way form them to see her again. The wolf came over and used his nose to push Dusty's towards his bed. Feeling his feet slip, Dusty gave in and padded over to his yellow bed. They'd all slept in Vincent's bed at first, but they were a bit big for that now, so they each had their own. Dusty kept his favourite tug rope in his. Dad had given up putting it away all the time. Dusty curled up on the soft cushion and let out another yawn. His Dad was standing over him and gave him a nuzzle and a lick. Dusty licked him back.

Goodnight Dad.

Goodnight Dusty.

Dusty closed his eyes. It was unfair that his siblings got to stay up longer than he did. He hated missing out on playing with wolf dad, especially because he was only a wolf for such short amount of time. But Dusty just couldn't stay awake like his siblings, and quickly drifted off.

***

When Dusty woke up there was no one in the room. He yawned and stretched out before heading over to the window. The full moon was still in the sky, so Dad was still a wolf. They must be in the house somewhere playing. Dusty ran out the open door and pattered down the stairs. He was careful with his footing, knowing from experience that taking the steps too fast would lead to him tumbling down them. Once he entered the lounge he looked around for his family. It was dark, but his eyesight was good enough to make out the pile of fur on the sofa. He put his head over the back of the seat and took in the sight of his siblings curled up with Dad. Jealousy sunk in. He struggled to stay up during the full moon and always missed out. They'd fallen asleep like this last full moon, the three of them together on the couch while he slept in his bed alone.

Dusty lifted his head up and headed downstairs for a drink. He felt awake now and really wanted to sit and howl, partly to satisfy the urge and partly to wake Dad up. Sure, he'd get told off, but Dad would play with him. Dusty greedily lapped up the water from the bowl in the kitchen. A quick shake and he gazed outside; the moonlight lit up the pool area. That's when he spotted the door that was slightly ajar. A quick glance up the stairs and Dusty ran towards it, tail wagging viciously. They weren't supposed to do outside alone. He pressed his body against the glass and pushed. The door moved a little. Dusty put all his strength behind it and stepped forward through the small gap. He had to breathe in, wiggle and ignore the pain of the door squashing him, but he made it through.

Dusty stood in the moonlight looking out over the pool of water. The wind ran through his fur making his freedom feel even greater. There was a thrill to being out alone, and Dusty was rather proud of himself. He walked around the pool giving it plenty of distance, he didn’t want to end up in it without someone to fish him out. Instead he ran at the loungers. He jumped onto the first one, bounding over it and darting towards the next. He wiggled under it before coming up to one of the trails Dad would walk them along. Dusty glanced back at the house. He'd only ever been down the path on a lead. His tongue hung out his mouth as he ran down the path. There was a rock formation a way down it that he had always wanted to climb, and it would he far enough away from the house for howling.

Dusty was panting as he approached the rock. He put his paws on the first ledge and pushed with his back legs. He barked with joy as he stood on the ledge, before he clambered up the next few smaller levels. The last ledge was the biggest and Dusty tried to jump up it. He missed and fell. Standing back up, he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He looked up at it the ridge again. He just had to get up and on it. He scrabbled against it, but after a few false starts his paws found some footing and he managed to pull himself up. Dusty lay on his stomach panting, his eyes gazing out over the sea. Once he caught his breath, he looked up at the great big moon and howled. He howled and howled, letting all the built-up angst leave his body. He could howl at the moon forever! Dusty had been so caught up that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. Pure fright made him jump a foot in the air, when the deep loud howl came from behind him. He turned around to see the huge black form of his father.

You howled!

I can't help it. Don't get me wrong, I will be in trouble if I've woken Scott up, but he understands if it's just one or two.

Could you hear me from the house?

Dusty had his tail between his legs. He didn't want to get in trouble with Uncle Scott. His father stepped up closer to him and Dusty wriggled under his front paw. He rubbed his head against his Dad, feeling comforted by the feel of his fur. It was so different when he was human. Dusty's eyes met Virgil's. Virgil licked Dusty's muzzle.

Don't worry, you can't be heard from the villa, yet.

Relief filled Dusty for a moment before he looked back up at the moon.

If you can't hear me from the house, does that mean the moon can't hear me? He needs to know I know he's there and I don't like how he makes me feel.

Virgil barked a laugh, which Dusty felt through his little body and made the boy jump. Virgil looked down and realised this was one of those father moments when little white lies were required.

Oh, I think the moon knows you mean business, Dusty.

You think? Are you sure? He needs to know what I think of him.

Dusty's tail whacked Virgil's side in excitement, and Virgil couldn't help but feel for his puppy.

Yes, he knows.

Good.

Dusty sat down, tail still wagging, and lent into his father. He liked it when it was just the two of them.

If you didn't hear me, how did you find me?

When you weren't in your bed, I followed your scent. I found the patio door open and worked it out. You wouldn't be getting any treats today for breaking the rules.

Dusty whined in response and looked up at Virgil with big brown eyes. Virgil ignored the pleading and stared out to sea, enjoying the wind in his fur and the feel of the little body against his. They sat there together in silence, which was an indicator to Virgil that Dusty was tired.

If you can't hear me from the house, can I howl some more?

Virgil wanted to roll his eyes and sigh. Instead he gave a soft growl.

No.

He felt Dusty yawn and shake himself out before lying down.

Come on. Time for you to get some more sleep.

Virgil was thankful that Dusty didn't fight this time. The puppy walked to the edge of the ledge and peered over it. After watching his son walk along it a few times, Virgil chuckled. Dusty might have been able to get up, but he couldn't get down. Virgil stepped onto the lower ledge and stood so his back was horizontal to the rock.

On you get.

Dusty’s grin and violent tail wagging made Virgil shake his head. All his children loved riding on his back, though it won't be long until they would be too big for him to carry. Virgil felt Dusty's front paws grasp his shoulders before his hind legs slipped over his back. The boy wiggled as he got comfortable.

Ready?

Ready!

Virgil carefully stepped down the rock formation and steadily made his way back to the villa. He felt Dusty yawn against him a few more times before his tail slowly went limp against him. Virgil carried the sleeping boy up through the living room, where his other two children were awake and playing chase around his father's desk. They rushed over to him, wanting to play. They followed him up to his room, where he lay down on his bed with Dusty on his back. It was so rare that Dusty was still. Virgil enjoyed feeling his son’s steady breathing against his back. Vincent and Sienna lay beside him, though they were just waiting for him to roll Dusty off. When they started to become restless and at risk of waking their brother, be careful pushed Dusty off onto his bed. Vincent and Sienna were instantly on the floor ready for him. Virgil grabbed one of the blankets his brothers used to cover him in his mouth, and carefully pulled it over his sleeping son. Dusty fidgeted in his sleep but settled. Virgil left the room and headed to the lounge for one last play before he transformed again.

***

Not long later, Gordon walked through the living room yawning, his swimming trunks on and a towel over his shoulder. He brushed his hand the wrong way along Virgil's back then gave his head a pat.

"Good morning, Virgil, Vince and Sienna."

The smile on Gordon's face made Virgil run after him and licked his brother’s hand before standing in Gordon’s way. This made Gordon chuckle and Gordon reached out and gave Virgil a good scratch behind the ears. Virgil jumped up and placed his paws on his younger brother's shoulders with enough force to make him to lose his balance and fall onto his bottom. Sienna and Vincent were on Gordon in a flash, Sienna licking his face and Vincent jumping on his chest, forcing Gordon to lie flat. Gordon was in hysterics and Virgil could see the tears welling in his eyes.

Okay, I think we can let Gordon swim now.

The two puppies backed off and with a sense of time that Virgil felt as well, ran up the stairs. Gordon sat up and rubbed his head.

“You had better get after them before they cause mischief.”

"The only person who causes mischief around here is you!"

Gordon stood and gave Virgil one of his goody grins, before heading off the pool towel in hand.

#werepuppies #werevirgil #thunderbirds are go #virgil tracy #gordon tracy #thunderbirds are go au #soniabigcheese

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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12.22:

Mary: It's not okay. Since I've been back, I know... I've been distant. Cold, even. Leaving you, working with them.. I was trying to make things right. Just from a distance, because.. being here with you was too hard. Seeing what I'd done to you and to Sam, I... Dean: Mom, what you did, the deal... everything that's happened since has made us who we are. And who we are? We kick ass. We save the world.

14.13:

SAM: Did you see them at dinner, the way they looked at each other? They just seemed happy, you know? It doesn’t feel fair to get all this and have to throw it away, and I know we have to. But it just feels like, you know… Once we send Dad back… it’s none of this ever happened. He – he just goes back to – to… to being Dad. DEAN: You saying you wish things would be different? SAM: Don’t you? Can you imagine – dad in the past, knowing then what he knows now? I… I think it would be nice. DEAN: Yeah. I used to think that, too. But, uh… I mean, look, we’ve been through some tough times. There’s no denying that. SAM: Yeah. DEAN: And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is. And I’m good with who I am. I’m good with who you are. ‘Cause our lives – they’re ours. And maybe I’m just too damn old to want to change that.

but also:

12.23:

KELLY: God, please. I need help. SVEN [on phone]: I'm trying to help you, ma'am. KELLY: Are you, Sven? Because if you ask me if I have the quarter-inch Allen wrench one – one more time, I am going to come down there and burn your giant Viking junkyard of a store to the ground! Do you understand?! SVEN: Are you sure it wasn't in the box? KELLY: God! [she tosses the phone away in exasperation] CASTIEL: Kelly. I told you I'd put this together. I'm very good at following instructions. And you need to rest. KELLY: No, I don't. CASTIEL: Kelly – [Cas helps Kelly to her feet] KELLY: No, Cas, I don't. I can't. I don't know how long until... I don't know how long I have left. And I...I'm never gonna be able to teach him how to ride a bike or watch him get married or even look him in the eyes. But I can build him a stupid Swedish crib! I can do that. CASTIEL: Kelly, I know how hard this is. [Kelly gives Cas an incredulous look] That's a lie. I have no idea how hard this is for you. But I promise you... I will do everything. I will give my life for your son. And I will raise him. And I will make him someone you will be proud of.

(note that all their work on the nursery, all their preparations for Jack’s birth, building the crib and assuming they’d have a long road of raising a Smol Babby proved... to be a lie... everything they did was... pointless... in the end)

and 14.20:

JACK: You lied to me. CASTIEL: Jack. JACK: (yelling) You lied!

and

SAM: Well, it's like you said. (Chuckles) It's Celine Dion. Uh... I mean Celine Dion. It's Celi-- (Sam stammers) Dean, every time I try and say "Elvis," it comes out -- DEAN: The sad, horrible truth. Yeah. You know why? Because we can't lie.

and

MRS. KLINE: You lied to us. You said you worked with Kelly, but after you left, my husband and I, we made some calls, and no one knows who you are. JACK: I... I didn't. MRS. KLINE: Yes, you did. Kelly's not away on some "secret mission." She... (Crying) They think she's dead. What did you do to my daughter?! (yelling) What did you do?!

and

DEAN: (looking at his phone) When people can't lie, the Internet gets real quiet.

and

WORKER #7 (in a singsong voice) I hate everyone! I hate everyone! WORKER #5 (crying) I just want to be loved. WORKER #7: I hate everyone! I hate everyone! OFF SCREEN: I just want a sweet life. WORKERS #7: I hate everyone! (Chuck and Castiel are watching the chaos) CHUCK: see, this is why people need to lie. -I hate everyone! CHUCK: It's good. Keeps the peace, you know?

and

CASTIEL: Seems like an odd stance for...you. CHUCK: Is it? I'm a writer. Lying's kind of what we do.

and

(Woman speaking Chinese dialect)- The state is a lie.

and

CAS: Can you fix it? CHUCK: (Sighs) Fine. (Snaps fingers) Fixed. SAM: Really? CHUCK: I'm God, Sam. Yeah, really. Go ahead. Try it out. DEAN:: Celine Dion rocks. Yeah. Yeah, we can lie again. CAS: And the rioting? CHUCK: Like it never happened.

and

CHUCK: Listen, you guys know me. I'm hands-off. I built the sandbox -- you play in it. You want to fight Leviathans? Cool. You got that. You want to go up against -- what was it? -- the "British Men of Letters"? Okay. Little weak, but okay. But when things get really bad, like the Apocalypse or the Other Apocalypse, that's when I have to step in. SAM: So you're saying Jack is Apocalyptic? CHUCK: The kid said, "Stop lying," and I don't know if you noticed, but the world kinda went insane.

and

SAM: So, Michael said that you create these worlds and you just toss them away like failed versions of some book. CHUCK: And you believe him? SAM: Was he lying? Is that what you're doing to us? CHUCK: No. Sam... you and your brother, of all the Sams and Deans in all the multiverse, you're my favorite. You're just so interesting. I mean, like that thing that happened at the office earlier today -- that was crazy, right?

and

JACK: And I thought I could make the world a better place if people couldn't lie. CAS: Well, it didn't. JACK: It really didn't.

and

SAM: Wait. I thought Chuck said that the gun was the only thing that could... (indicating Jack, who is dead on the ground, eyes burned out) CAS: He's a writer. Writers lie.

and

youtube

BUT ALSO!

12.23:

SAM: Crowley...why did you do it? Save Lucifer– What did you want? CROWLEY: I wanted to win. I perverted mother's spell, put Lucifer in a vessel of my own making because I wanted to win. You have any idea how many people have made a play for my throne over the years? Lucifer, Abaddon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Too damn many. I thought if I could put the Devil on a leash... my own personal nuke, no one would ever dare challenge me again. DEAN: Yeah. That worked out great. CROWLEY: All ended with me narrowly escaping death by hiding in a rat. MARY: Wait. In an...actual rat? CROWLEY: Wasn't too bad, really. Gave me time to think. You know, I've been focused for so long on keeping my job. Never realized I hate it. All those whining demons, the endless moan of damned souls, the paperwork! I mean, who wants that?

and

LUCIFER: Well... this is a fun surprise. I gotta hand it to you guys. You never give up, even when you should. Even when it would be so stupid not to. SAM: Look, whatever you're planning on doing, Chuck...God will stop you, just like he did last time. LUCIFER: You're right. What should I do? Oh, God! Don't strike me dead! Come on, Sam. You sound like a virgin in Jesus camp. "We can't. God is watching." No. Chuck "walked." He's gone. DEAN: So you're just gonna smash his toys? LUCIFER: Exactly. 'Cause every time I look at this sad trash fire of a world, you know what I keep thinking? I could do so much better. DEAN: So Apocalypse, take two. That's your plan? LUCIFER: When in doubt, go with the classics. That's what I always say. Well, boys, enough with the foreplay. Let's do this.

14.20

SAM: Do you watch us? When you're not here, are -- are you... watching us? CHUCK: Yeah. (Exhales deeply) I mean, you're my favorite show. SAM: Then why don't you do something? If I had your power -- CHUCK: Sam. We talked about this. Not the way it works. SAM: (Sighs) Wait a second. Why, when the chips are down, when the world is -- is failing, why does it always have to be on us?! CHUCK: Because you're my guys. But right now, we need to focus on Jack. Ah, that kid. (Breathes deeply) Whew! SAM: Wait a second. You're scared of him. CHUCK: Aren't you?

and

JACK: And you were right all along. I am a monster. SAM: (to Chuck) Do something. (he realizes with shock) You're enjoying this. CHUCK: Shh. (Dramatic music plays) (Dean cocks the gun. He looks Jack in the eye for several seconds and then slowly lowers the gun. At this point, Castiel also comes running towards the area) (Dean uncocks the gun and tosses it to the side) CHUCK: No. Pick it up! Pick it up. DEAN: The hell, Chuck? CHUCK: This isn't how the story is supposed to end. CAS: The story? CHUCK: (frustrated) Lookit, the -- the -- the gathering storm, the gun, the -- the father killing his own son. This is Abraham and Isaac. This is epic! DEAN: Wait. What are you saying? SAM: He's saying he's been playing us. This whole time. CHUCK: Come on. SAM: Our entire lives. Mom, Dad -- everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because -- Because what? Because we're your favorite show? Because we're part of your story?

(because in the end Crowley’s spell did nothing, Cas’s self-sacrifice meant nothing, Lucifer’s destruction meant nothing because Michael wrought the same destruction as they were both trapped inside the same story and couldn’t even recognize themselves as Chuck’s characters who were just as “programmed” by Chuck as any of the angels who’d ever been subjected to Naomi’s reprogramming ever were... I mean they may have been partly right about Chuck, but they were still blind to the fact that even in their supposed “rebellion” they were always only ever Chuck’s pawns, enacting his favorite narrative for all time and unable to break free of it)

And the universe takes everything away from Sam and Dean again, and the beginning of another go-around of the narrative. Only this is the last go-around where Cas can be treated as someone that can be taken away from them and still continue to perform according to Chuck’s expectations within his story. This loss broke Dean. And Cas might not understand that yet, but it proved to the audience that Cas is integral to the Winchester Family. Chuck’s story can’t only revolve around Sam and Dean against the world. And by the end of 14.20, at least he’s learned that.

#spn 14.20 #spn 12.23 #spiders georg of the tnt loop #lies and damn lies #winchester family dynamics #if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass #s14 meta rewatch #i'm casually enjoying the destruction of the entire got universe on the side here over a struggle for power in which everyone loses #it's almost as if crowley embodied that in his final episode but became self-aware and did the thing...#if only he'd lived to have this final curtain lifted revealing the full truth of the universe and his place in it #as just another character in chuck's story...#the scheherazade of supernatural #if anyone thinks this show is just a bunch of lazy writing i will throw down right here and fight them

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iiinejghafa · 6 years

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so after watching ODAAT s3 I noticed a lot of people thinking that Penelope x Schneider/Alvareider is dead in the water and/or that the writers “course corrected” and retroactively decided not to pursue it in the storyline, which was really surprising to me because I thought this season further cemented that the writers have been planning this from the start.

First: I genuinely think that Penelope and Schneider, as of at least the first two and a half seasons, are fully platonic. Their relationship has deepened and developed over the seasons, from comfortable acquaintances to best friends and confidants, but there were hang ups along the way to get to this point. Schneider has his obvious issues – he’s an addict, he grew up lonely and treated horribly by his father, and is often immature and lazy and frivolous because he can be – and Penelope is extremely goal-driven and focused on her immediate concerns (her family, career, money) while unable to commit to her relationships (Ben because she’s hung up on Victor, Max because she doesn’t want more kids, Mateo because she feels no spark or passion for him). Their relationship could never develop beyond friendship in season 1 because they are so focused on their needs that they don’t care to really get to know each other beyond the exterior, especially Penelope (who we know has a tendency to be a bit judgmental).

Even though Penelope cares about Schneider, we know she views him as immature, privileged, and lazy at times and it leads her to not see beyond that exterior, even when Schneider becomes her best friend and main confidant starting in season 2. She trusts him with her children, he visits her apartment almost daily, and turns to him when dealing with a crisis whether it’s with her romantic relationships, her family, and her own problems. In season 3, she continues to receive this support and acknowledges publicly that the person she turns to in a crisis, who helps her calm down and feel safe, is none other than Schneider. She doesn’t truly begin to understand him until season 3, when she meets his father and sees what he grew up with, and sees how Schneider threw away his relationship with his father because he valued her and her family more. She even lets out a breathless “Really, you didn’t have to do that” as if she can’t believe he would give up substantial financial gain for their sake. We also finally see her reciprocating the love and support Schneider gave her, and seems to actively take steps to be a more supportive figure in his life. It’s almost as if she doesn’t realize how important he is to her, and it’s something she won’t really feel until something major happens (Schneider moving in with Avery, a medical emergency, etc).

Schneider, on the other hand, knows he loves the Alvarezes and understands Penelope better than she realizes, but he doesn’t know his own worth and settles for so little because he doesn’t think he deserves better. He has explicitly said that he buys things to try and make him happy, that he sleeps with people as a substitute for addiction and affection, and has very little self-worth even through season 3. It’s not until Penelope tells him that she likes him just as he is – something he’s probably never heard before – that he stands up to his father and accepts that he shouldn’t want and doesn’t need his father’s approval. He hides his drinking from Penelope because he knows that she won’t trust him anymore, and by his own words she is the first person to truly trust him, ever. Unlike Penelope, Schneider knows how much Penelope means to him, and both of his major decisions over those two episodes (confronting his dad and hiding his relapse) are at least partly the result of his relationship with her. He then desperately seeks out Avery at the end of season 3 because he knows she is one person who cares about him in a romantic way and feels she understands him because of their shared quirkiness and familial wealth.

Until the end of season 3, there’s no feasible foundation for them to have a relationship because they are both wrapped up in their own issues and priorities to really see each other, but by the end of s3 this changes. Schneider, desperate for validation and romantic love after his relapse, is eager to be with Avery again because she is the first relationship he’s had that is genuinely loving and reciprocated. It’s hard to say if the relationship will turn out badly (we don’t actually know Avery very well, and the beginning of their relationship was dishonest on both ends, not to mention the relationship fractures quickly upon his relapse and only amends when he's a month sober) or lead to Schneider gaining self-confidence, but it will inevitably end and hopefully leave Schneider in a better place than he was. Penelope, on the other hand, finally accepts that she may never find a “great love” like her parents; maybe she’ll have many, or she may have none. But her subconscious is telling her not to accept less than what she wants, and makes her question what she’s looking for in the first place. It feels like Penelope, now single without any romantic prospects, is on the brink of seeing Schneider in a new way in season 4.

The realizations in the last episode follow on the heels of episode 11 and 12, which subtly – but directly – connect Penelope’s desires in a partner to her relationship with Schneider. In episode 11, Nicole tells her all the things she loves about Victor (also an addict) despite not being perfect: he makes her laugh, he makes her feel safe, she can’t imagine something bad happening to him, and she can’t picture her life without him. Penelope realizes, in this same episode, that she doesn’t want to be with Mateo just because he’s nice and easy to be with and it’s at the end that she discovers that Schneider has relapsed. One of the first things she says in the next episode is “I couldn’t sleep last night” because of Schneider’s relapse, and spends the entire episode solely focused on helping him. And all this happening immediately after her conversation with Nicole in episode 11 is incredibly pointed. Schneider is not perfect by any means, but he makes Penelope laugh and she enjoys being with him, he makes her feel safe when she’s in a crisis and is her go-to support, she loses sleep and panics at the thought of Schneider relapsing before she even knows it’s true, and – tying into Penelope not yet recognizing how important he is to her – she will soon realize that she can’t imagine her life without him.

Another thing to consider is the direct parallels and contrasts between Schneider and Penelope’s significant others. This post explains it all very well, but I’ll summarize briefly:

Schneider and Victor (S1)

Victor: exhibits toxic masculinity, little self-reflection, prioritizes his pride over even his family, struggles with trauma and addiction but won’t seek help

Schneider: does not exhibit toxic masculinity, is constantly self-reflecting on his behaviors and relationships, prioritizes other people over himself, and also struggles with (emotional) trauma and addiction and seeks help

Schneider and Ben (S1)

Ben: supports Penelope through Elena’s coming out, respectful of Penelope’s boundaries

Schneider: supports Penelope through Elena’s coming out, respectful of Penelope’s boundaries

Schneider and Max (s2)

Max: spends his time helping others (paramedic), is family-focused, is willing to have a casual relationship but wants more, earns the respect of Penelope’s family. Penelope breaks up with him because he wants children.

Schneider: spends his time helping others (the Alvarezes, his other tenants), is family-focused, is willing to have casual relationships but wants more, earns the respect of Penelope’s family. Tells Penelope that he’s “never thought about” having children while walking in with a cute baby, suggesting he really hasn’t thought about it or isn’t interested.

Schneider and Mateo (s3)

Mateo: friend of Penelope’s who she looks at differently upon seeing how they connect on superficial levels (Latino, overprotective, nice), Penelope breaks up with him because she realizes she doesn’t feel passionate about him

Schneider: dates someone upon seeing how they connect on superficial levels (”family money” rich, quirky and eccentric, understands his father’s world)

All these connections are not “stretches” by any means and the connections between Schneider and Max & Victor are the most direct, which is interesting considering they are both Penelope’s most passionate relationships.

So, yes, at the moment Penelope and Schneider are platonic – and truly see each other platonically – because they are not at the right point where they a) see the other person in that way and b) are both in the right place for that relationship to happen. Penelope, who is now single and has finally become a nurse practitioner, and Schneider, now developing self-worth through accepting his baggage and his first real relationship, are both primed to make some big realizations next season. My theory is that through Schneider’s relationship with Avery, he becomes self-confident and healthier, dropping many of his more harmful habits (excessive spending, obsessive ever-changing interests, laziness, over-eagerness to seek validation from other people) and will be able to deal with their inevitable break-up in a healthy way while maintaining his elevated self-worth. Penelope will note this change and start to see him differently; he’s not just her best friend and landlord, but someone she finds attractive as a partner and member of her family for all the qualities he already had but are now made clearer with his heightened self-worth. Schneider may not reciprocate initially; not because he doesn’t care about her or doesn’t have the capacity to (I wonder if, at some point, he ever had feelings for her and just shut them down for aforementioned reasons) but because he sees Penelope as unattainable and can’t see her being interested in him. By the end of season 4, we may see explicit confirmation and (hopefully) reciprocation on both sides, though I imagine it won’t immediately lead to a relationship.

Some final observations:

Another hint that Penelope will come to know Schneider better in s4 is the reveal of his first name – only to her, in an AA meeting she attends with him – when he introduces himself as Pat. To me, this foreshadows Penelope calling him by his real name in the future, which I feel will come with a significant change in their relationship.

They still haven’t said “I love you” in any context. Yes, Elena said “we love you” after Schneider relapsed, and Schneider clearly loves the Alvarezes, but they never say this directly to each other even though there have been many opportunities to. They have progressed in what they mean to each other (friends to best friends to “i’m here for you” and “you don’t have to do this alone”) and I get the feeling the show is saving this exchange for a Big Moment.

A lot of people are commenting on the “sister” comment Schneider makes about Penelope; I don’t put much stake in this for my aforementioned belief that they just aren’t in the right place yet to even consider each other romantically and Schneider not seeing Penelope as attainable but having no other label for their relationship. Plus, it was said as a joke.

I also don’t think Avery (or her being played by Todd Grinnel’s IRL wife) is a threat or shoots down the possibility of them getting together. IRL couples playing love interests is a common trope in sitcoms (for ex. Will Arnett played Amy Poehler’s date in an ep of Parks and Rec when they were still married), and I really think it’s inevitable that Avery and Schneider break up because this is his first real relationship and we don’t actually know Avery that well (a la Ben in s1), but their connection as we know it is somewhat superficial (they’re both rich, they’re both quirky, they both were disingenuous at first). Schneider NEEDS a healthy relationship like this before he would ever be able to date Penelope, because he still needs to take steps to learn what that kind of relationship is like as well as building his self-worth (as mentioned above).

The Valentine's day ep ends with Schneider and Penelope making strides with their significant others, but the blocking of the scene at the table shows them sitting next to each other, with Alex and Elena weirdly seated far apart with an empty space where a chair would be between them, the positioning not only blocking view of the SOs but clearly emphasizing Schneider and Penelope as the focal point of the frame.

There’s probably a lot more I could say on this (there really is a LOT of content supporting these two) but I’ll stop there. Of course, there’s no way to tell if the writers will pursue this (based on the groundwork over the show and specifically what is laid out in eps 3x9-3x13 I’d be...very confused if nothing comes out of this) but it is clear that regardless of if their relationship is romantic or platonic in the end we’re sure to see some major developments between them in s4 as we have in each season so far.

EDIT: This post is wonderful, it touches on some of the things in this post and a lot more!

#one day at a time #one day at a time spoilers #odaat #alvareider #penelope x schneider #odaat spoilers #i'm normally a book blog but i really had to get this out lmao

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miikkasakari · 5 years

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And then, at some point, it became apparent that Scott Lang was one of my favourite characters in the MCU, and the fun ride that was Ant-Man and the Wasp helped drive it home.

Ant-Man probably should not work on the big screen; it does largely because even despite all the wacky science it keeps itself grounded. The interpersonal drama is relatively minimal; by the time we’re at its sequel, it’s mostly gone. I mean, yeah, it’s there - Scott betrayed Hope and Hank - but he also has his unconventional family’s full love and support, and when he gets reunited with Hope, it doesn’t take her long to warm back up to him. Because ultimately, he’s still a good, well-meaning person, and she can’t distance herself from him as a means to an end.

It’s Scott being so likeable that makes the entire thing click. His goal is pretty simple, as it has been in most moments we see him: be there for Cassie in whatever way he can. While Maggie and Paxton weren’t trusting of him in the first movie, by the time the second one comes around, even though he’s technically done something so much worse they fully trust him; it’s because he’s made it clear Cassie is his world and he would do anything for her and to ensure her safety. Paxton saw it with his own eyes in the first one. He didn’t just magically get everyone’s trust - he had to earn it back. With his family it was off-screen; with Hope and Hank, it was on-screen.

I really, really love how quickly they’re able to come back together. And one of the highlights of these movies is how unique they can get with battle sequences - and though Ghost’s abilities limited any real battle sequences with her, the effects were extremely cool - and a big part of that is how flexible Scott and Hope can be while teaming up. It’s fun and adds an extra dynamic, both to their relationship and to the overall direction. And I really can’t emphasize it enough: the way they’re able to so quickly fall back into how things first were between them is a genuine delight. They’re partners.

There’s also the whole “Scott is the only good dad in the entire MCU” thing which, really, he is; a great deal of his emotional core focuses on parenting and him acknowledging how he can be a better parent. Cassie adores him and while he’s able to give her as much time as he can he’s also capable of recognizing what it is to be an adult and restrictions he may have to impose on her as an authority figure (i.e. telling her he’d be a terrible parent if he let her go out superheroing at 10). A lot of Scott’s character is played as a joke, but it’s a reminder that he’s an adult and a character who’s more than one-off comedic relief. It’s all through the heart of the movies and it all works so well.

Scott is just such a good, loveable character. That’s also part of what makes the post-credits scene as tragic as it is - because in all likelihood, he’s going through a lot of trauma, too. Who knows what Janet went through while stuck in the quantum realm for 30 years; we don’t yet know how long it will be for Scott but it has to be a combination of abandonment, hopelessness, betrayal, and fear, all oscillating as he has no idea what’s happened. Seeing everyone get dusted in Infinity War was tragic (and the real world implications of it were driven home in the second post-credits scene, it was haunting); seeing a terrible fate befall just one person connects so much more strongly. I was more excited for Endgame after my first showing of Ant-Man and the Wasp than I was after Infinity War precisely because of that end credits scene: I want to know how Scott is affected. I’m sure some of it will be played for jokes, but some of it won’t be. And he’s such a loveable, wholesome character; I want to know how he’s going to deal with all of it, specifically. Everyone else too, but he’s going to be in such a unique situation. The superhero name is silly, but what he can add is massive - and I’m really looking forward to seeing him in a more serious tone, something we haven’t quite had the chance to yet. (There have been moments in his films but the overall tone of them has been joyful, and I love that, I love feeling happy watching them, but hey, something else isn’t bad.)

Speaking of being stuck in the quantum realm: I really appreciate how the MCU has chosen to handle Hank. They’ve completely side-stepped the domestic abuse because it wasn’t possible in this universe, but they still made it clear he’s still Hank: the only people who can stand to work with him are his family (and Scott). The fact that he’s a controlling dick still completely comes through, especially in his arguments with Bill. It’s easy to see why he would get completely on everybody’s nerves and alienate everyone around him; he’s brilliant but who wants to be around that? How does anyone tolerate it? He’s not a bad person but you can see how he could have been.

But I also love how much Hope will always stick by him. She’s very family-oriented: she lost her mom at a young age; she’s not going to lose her dad. And she sees how Scott treats his daughter, probably sees a bit of herself in Cassie, and it helps their relationship as well. When Scott is pleading with Hope and Hank that he has to leave the lab and make sure he’s still at his place when the FBI shows up she’s obviously distraught for a number of reasons but she isn’t going to argue with him having to leave, and I’d think that’s partly because she’s more stressed out about her own situation but also because she’s thinking of Cassie, too. That they all got to have a movie night together at the end was the perfect start for a new, extended branch of this family. The amount everyone in this movie cares for one another - to the point of taking action of making sure that Ava will be okay (and that Ava’s motivation was understandable and they didn’t make her a full-on villain, but really worked well to ensure a grey area with her) - is really touching. The only major conflict was with a corrupt businessman, which we can all agree, yeah, fuck that guy.

Oh, and the constant cat-and-mouse feel of the movie, culminating in a massive three-way chase climax? So much fun, and different than yet another final battle. I don’t even know how long it takes because I don’t feel the need to check the time, it doesn’t drag at all; watching three different parties with warring interests fight over a box is awesome.

But back to Hope for one more point: her fight scenes are the best. Yes, her with Scott together, but also just her. She has a gimmick of course, but she also isn’t super-powered, and that makes them even better to watch. Here’s the first time Marvel has bothered to put a female character in the title of one of its movies, sharing equal billing with a man, and she more than pulls her weight, both in terms of character and action. She’s a woman leading in a comic book movie and she fits in so seamlessly.

Other than the importance of family and helping people there’s no real underlying message. But the movie manages to juggle so many different plot points - six different directions, with Scott vs. the FBI, Jimmy vs. Scott (and I didn’t even get into Jimmy! But he’s hilarious and it’s the perfect fit for a bit conflict amidst everything else that goes on in this movie), trying to get Janet back, trying to heal Ava, dealing with Sunny, and Luis trying to get his business up and going (and there’s the brief political moment - “do you know how hard it is for ex-cons to get work” - and I’d really love to see how these movies could turn out if played totally straight, because somewhere out there, there’s a version of it that works) - and it never once feels overstretched or too complicated. A bunch of crazy shit happened to four different groups of people all at once and everyone’s dealing and it’s wildly entertaining (not to mention, occasionally, truly hilarious - Scott channeling Janet [and their first meeting! Kind of! Was so sweet!] and Luis’ narration coming back into the fold two of the major highlights).

It’s fun. After all of the surrounding drama, it’s just so much fun. Which is what made the post-credits scene such a shock - of course the movie itself had to stand alone from Infinity War, but there also had to be some kind of connection there - and brought it back out from its own isolated pocket of the MCU. But it’s such a good pocket that it’s going to be really wonderful to see it immersed with everyone else, even if the tone shifts with it.

#mcu essay dorking

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theartificialdane · 6 years

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Paris AU - Apples and oranges

It’s not always easy to have a little lady in the house!

[Six, seven, eight, nine, ten!]

[Well done puppet!] Sutan smiled brightly. They were practicing indonesian, Melati pretty fluent, but he wanted to make sure she knew as much of his language as possible, the fact that she was half indonesian something he and Violet had agreed on was important for her to know and to learn about [Okay, so imaging you have ten oranges.]

[But they’re right there.] Melati pointed. [See, one, two, three, four-] Sutan was sitting at the table in the kitchen with his daughter, Melati’s plate of weekend toast forgotten in front of her as she counted. Sutan had taken their fruit bowl and turned it upside down, the table covered in fruit. [eight, nine, ten!]

[That’s still correct puppet. Now, you have ten oranges.] Sutan reached to pick up the fruit.

[And also, umh. Five!] Melati smiled brightly, quickly counting the bananas on the table. [Five…]

“Pisang”

[Five bananas!]

[You have as much of an attention span as Frida does.] Sutan put the oranges down, gently nudging all the other fruit aside before Melati could start counting that too. [So, if you have ten oranges, and you give three to Isolde.]

[But she lives in America, so I can’t give her the oranges, can I Papa?]

Sutan looked at his daughter, totally caught off guard by her question. He had imagined they’d do some simple math, but at the way Melati was looking at him with her big brown, he realised she expected an actual answer.

[Okay, imaging we’re visiting America-]

[with 10 oranges.]

[Exactly.] Sutan took three oranges.

[Are we seeing Nenek?]

[Maybe. Can you concentrate please?]

[But are we? Because if we are, I want to give one to Nenek too. She likes oranges.]

[Maybe next time.] Sutan smiled. His mother did indeed like oranges, and it was so like Melati to worry about others like that, her bond with her grandmother something truly special. Melati almost impossible to pry from Mani’s lap whenever they visited the little house in Long Island, Melati hanging on her every word, and Sutan was sure it partly had to do with the fact that Mani had come to France to help care for both Melati and Violet right when Melati had been born, the little girl spending her first weeks of life in her grandmas protective arms whenever she wasn’t sleeping on her Papa or getting nursed by her mother. [We’re in America. You have ten oranges, and you give three to Isolde. How many do you have left?]

[What about Tanya?]

[What about Tanya what?]

[If I give Isolde three oranges, Tanya should have three too.]

[Tanya isn’t home.] Sutan put the oranges down. [So if you have ten, you give three to Isolde-]

[And save three for Tanya.]

Sutan wanted to bang his head on the wall, but instead he took a big gulp of his coffee, his own breakfast half forgotten though Melati had happily made it through her toast.

[Puppet, you don’t have to-]

[Mama says you should always share.] Melati crossed her little arms, looking at her Papa with her chin in the air. [Even with Tanya and Isolde.] Even though Sutan wanted to tear his hair out, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud. Melati didn’t exactly get along with her cousins, Sutan often not understanding that half of the twins technically came from him, Tanya and Isolde always up for mischief whenever they went somewhere, both of them masters at pretending to be older than they were. Last time they had gone on vacation, the twins had even managed to sneak into a club party for the teens at the resort, even though they were only 9. Thankfully no alcohol had been served. When Raja and Raven had been told, Raja had just laughed and called her daughters hustlers, while Raven had grounded them, though the punishment hadn’t held much more than a single night.

[And you should, but this is purely hypothetical-]

[What’s]”hipotetis”?

[It means we’re pretending.]

[Oh! Okay!] Melati smiled brightly, and Sutan felt a slight surge of hope.

[So, you have ten, and you give three to Isolde.]

Melati nodded, listening to her dad. [And none for Tanya, because we’re playing.]

[Yes, exactly. How many oranges do you have left to eat?]

[One, two, three, four, five, six. Six oranges!]

Sutan looked at the table, seven orange assholes staring right back at him. [No puppet, see, you have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven oranges left.]

[But this ones yucky.] Melati turned one of the fruits, and she was absolutely right, the orange sporting a nasty spot. [And you said I should eat them.]

{What are you doing?}

Violet was standing in the doorway, her hair still slightly damp from her shower, his wife often treating herself to a slow morning at the gym on the weekends before she came home to get ready for the day.

{Pretending Mama!}

Violet looked slightly confused as she walked over to the table.

{We’re doing mat-} Sutan was just about to explain, when Violet spotted the offending orange in Melati’s hand.

{Oh, god no, puppet, why are you touching that?} Violet grabbed the fruit, quickly throwing it out and coming back with a napkin to wipe Melatis fingers, even though the girl was more than old enough to do it herself. {You have nine perfectly good oranges. Sutan, why would you let her eat a rotten on-}

{I have six!}

Both looked at their daughter at the same time, confusion clear in Violet’s face. {... What?}

{I have six oranges because Isolde gets three, and Nenek gets none and even though Papa says Isolde can’t have any I’m still going to give her three later, so I really only have three, but that was going to be a secret…}

Sutan started laughing, Violet still clearly confused, and then Melati started laughing too, Sutan standing up and grabbing his daughter, hosting her up even though she was 6 and putting her on his hip. {I think someone deserves ice cream at the park.}

{Ice cream? But it’s barely 10.}

Sutan turned, giving his wife a kiss, Melati pulling a face even though she was clearly smiling, her eyes bright.

{It’s the weekends lovely eyes. Live a little.}

Violet shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. {Fine. Fine. Let me get my coat.}

#paris au

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arabellaflynn · 6 years

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One of the more amusing family stories I sometimes tell is about a relative of mine, a few generations back, who moved in with another man after his wife died. Ooh, everybody goes. Salacious family gossip! Except the little town they moved to was actually Lily Dale Assembly, in upstate New York, which so far as I know is still one of the oldest continually running Spiritualist communes in the United States. Harry and Edward moved up there so that Edward, ex-model and former elder in the Presbyterian church, could start on what I think was his third career as a spirit medium. He channeled the spirit of an Edwardian actress named Lillie Langtry, also known as "the Jersey Rose". At this point, the whole 'shacked up with his boyfriend' thing has become the least interesting part of the story, and people begin to look at me funny. My parents fucked things up in many respects, several of them so egregious that I haven't spoken to them in years, but I want to give credit where credit is due. They never sat us down to have a talk about how some boys like boys and some girls like girls, and they were all people just like anyone else. It was stupidly obvious. My mother talked about "Harry and Edward" in the same tone she used for "Aunt Helen and Uncle Bob". Except friendlier, as Uncle Bob was known to be a lecher who eyeballed the teenage cousins, and we mysteriously saw a lot less of him after I was about twelve. I was probably in college -- so, old enough for my own friends to start coming out -- before I thought about it long enough to realize how unusual this was. There are a lot of families where I never would have heard about Harry, because they would have disavowed any knowledge of his existence as soon as they found out about his "friend". Tracing LGBT+ relatives can be tricky. They tend to lack a lot of paperwork that straight couples would have. Not just legit marriage certificates -- which don't always exist -- but a lot of other records that are predicated on the assumption that there is a marriage certificate, somewhere. Fifty years ago, John Doe and Roberta Roe could move halfway across the country together and apply for an apartment as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe", and nobody would ever check. The only way to get that information, pre-internet, was to find out where the marriage would have been officiated, write to the appropriate county clerk (with a processing fee enclosed), and wait 4-6 weeks to see if you got an illegible photocopy or a 'no such file exists' form letter back. No landlord was going to do that. They'd look at you, make a snap judgement on whether you were likely to grow forty tons of weed in their rental property, and ask if you had first, last, and deposit. After you have a lease as "John and Roberta Doe", you can start getting utility bills, phone lines, library cards, checking accounts, even state IDs, depending on where (and when) you were. My own parents are a good example of how this works. My mother used her maiden name right up until she was lying in a hospital bed with a newborn (me), and the nuns filing the paperwork were confused by the concept of putting a different surname down for mother and child. My mother, who was understandably short on patience, finally relented and told them to use Dad's name for everybody. (In her words, "I was afraid they were gonna lose you.") They weren't legally married until I was three, and they only did it because we had moved from Little Canada to a state that even today spits in the face of social progress, and Dad's new health insurance wouldn't otherwise have covered anybody else. Mind you, my college FAFSA papers said they'd been filing taxes as married since 1978. My mother was never one to let a little thing like federal tax law prevent her from doing as she damn well pleased. In Harry and Edward's case, we do have some documentation: Harry wrote memoirs. My mother had a copy, and I've read it. They're mostly about the spirit medium stuff, but there's a fair bit about life as well, and they were hilariously domestic. You would have to engage in mental gymnastics of a phenomenal order to read the two of them as anything but a couple. I seem to recall Harry's daughter either writing to or visiting them in Lily Dale; according to the family, she was mainly just happy her father had settled down with someone who could cook, so he'd stop living on scrambled eggs and spaghetti. I've had no luck so far finding a copy of my own. Partly because it was privately published by someone who evidently went out of business 30+ years ago, but mostly because I didn't have any full names for anybody. The family has only ever referred to Harry as "Uncle Doc Harry". He wasn't a doctor of anything, but he did have an MSW, and for that time and that branch of the family, that was a pretty high-falutin' education. I'm still not sure if he was my great-uncle or my great-great-uncle. My grandfather was from a gigantic Irish Catholic farm family, where there were so many kids with such a range of ages that the eldest grandkids used to babysit their youngest aunts and uncles. It was without a great deal of hope that I prodded the Lily Dale Assembly at about 2 am one night, via their Facebook page. Yes, they have a Facebook page. Of course they have a Facebook page. Another thing you have to consider when nosing around after your queer kin is how to frame it. Somewhere conservative, I probably would have inquired after Harry, mentioning at some point that he used to share a house with someone named Edward. The Assembly, though? The Spiritualists are justifiably proud of their history of being early adopters of things like women's suffrage, feminism, and universal civil rights. They attract a lot of weirdos because they treat the weirdos like valid human beings. I was asking after people who would still be in the living memory of older residents, and a town like Lily Dale would have remembered them as the boring middle-aged married couple. So I just asked about my relatives, plural, Harry and Edward, and mentioned the ghost actress, figuring it would have been pretty unique even for a place like that. I expected to get a teenage intern, who had no idea what I was talking about, but could at least give me some way to get in contact with the town registrar or whatever a Spiritualist commune has. No. Oh, no. Whoever was answering their messages knew exactly who I was talking about, because they used to live across the street. Not only told me where the two of them went, but described the house they bought when they moved out of town in the early '90s. What the actual fuck. Thus armed with useful things like surnames, I went off to Google some more. I still haven't had any luck finding the book; when I first read it, online shopping was already a thing, and I found it eerie as hell to be physically holding a book that had no listing on Amazon. It has an AISN now, as someone evidently sold a signed copy on Amazon once, but no ISBN, and therefore no WorldCat entry. If it exists in any library I can get to, I'm not sure I have any way to ask for it. I can't find their obituaries, either -- my guess is they ran in the newspaper of the small town they lived in after Lily Dale, but the online archives have a big gap between 1989, when their microfiche scans end, and the 2000s, when someone bothered building them a website. If they have headstones, nobody's taken pictures of them for FindAGrave.com. I threw their names at Spokeo and WhitePages and the like, to see if whoever survived longest had moved elsewhere to be with other family, and made an interesting discovery. Directories like that scrape data from other places. Mailing lists, public records, that sort of thing. Most people have at least one "AKA" listing, where they did or didn't use their middle initial for something, or went by Kathy instead of Katherine. Harry seems to have really been Harry, never Harold, which fits with the family naming habits. I did dig up a middle name, and it does tally with the one on the picture of the book cover on Amazon out-of-stock listing, so at least I know I'm tracking the right guy. So far as I can tell from his AKAs, Edward never went by Ed or Eddie -- but he did, at some point in his life, go by Harry's surname. It's exactly the sort of middle finger to convention I would expect from any relative of mine, really. Fuck you, mainstream society, we're married. One of the places it's noted is on a profile for one of the ancestry services that says it was created and maintained by his brother, so at least some of his family seems to have treated them the same way Harry's did. It actually makes me wonder if they had some sort of commitment ceremony at some point. (Beyond signing a joint mortgage on at least one house, I mean. Those are way harder to get out of than a marriage.) There wouldn't be any records filed with the State of New York -- although there's always the chance they were smart enough to file legal papers giving power of attorney and leaving their estate to the other one -- but if it happened in Lily Dale, the Assembly might have noted it. from Blogger https://ift.tt/2zVc9Bw via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

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