Meandering notes
So, @blue-manuscript challenged me to write slapstick vampires.
I've got ideas, but what I am sharing are meandering notes...should anyone be interested. I dunno when I will actually write the thing, but I keep jotting notes and dialogue (as this is how I learn characters -- if they sound familiar I have no excuse, those two live in my brain and are tainting everything).
It is long, and disjointed, be warned.
They don't have names yet, but the plan is a road trip following the U.S Highway 2 from Washington to Maine. No, I don't know why. This is just what they told me. They'll be dealing with vampire hunters, local authorities, especially brave prey with weapons they expect to work, whatever fun response to sunlight I am going to give them (that is not death because nyeh) and most of all...each other and the road itself. I'm hoping they get lost a lot, personally.
Enjoy the nonsense notes.
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Two vampires trying to get to a wedding. The wedding is for one of their sister's descendants--he's kept in contact through generations and they help out and visit family regularly--and it's on the other side of the country but one of them refuses to fly on an airplane, and while they can both turn into bats it doesn't work in daylight, and they've never found shoes able to withstand their speed long enough to run--and one's not running barefoot.
"How's Paris sound this spring? We could take the houseboat, with the roomy cabin."
"Mm, raiding yachts and eating rich assholes does sound fun but we're due in Maine for a wedding this spring."
"Another one?"
"Well it's legal now, so more are out there doing it."
"It was legal in the 1700s too, but that didn't require we drag our asses half a country away."
"I'm not sure draining the clergy and enchanting a priest to marry us counts as legal, and we also sprung for a big ceremony when laws changed--"
"Semantics. So, how many mewling brats are these ones going to pop out, ready to haunt us for all our eternity?"
"None, but they may adopt. Point is, I made promises and they expect us there."
"How long are we expected to play with our food this time?"
"They're descendants, my sweet, not food and we'll be there a day at most."
"I meant long term, love, how long are you going to keep this up?"
"Until the bloodline dries up."
"They're prey and you should eat the lot of them. Or at least stop indulging them. It's been so many generations now. You have your own life, you have me."
"And I love you, but you knew what you were getting when you married me, so zip it."
"I love you too, you and your highly specific bleeding heart. So you expect me to sit in some stuffy rental while you drive us across the country?"
"We can stop for meals along the way, do some sightseeing."
"We've seen all the sights. Why don't we just fly?"
"No planes."
"This again. We can't die. Even if the whole thing drops out of the sky. We'll live."
"I'm aware. Doesn't make it any less unnerving to soar through clouds in a massive metal coffin."
"You fly higher every night, and often sleep in a coffin..."
"As a bat, meant for flight and the coffin doesn't bother because you're in there with me."
"I'll be with you in the plane too, love. Maybe we could charter a private jet, something with a big, comfy bed?"
"I'm not sure that's something we can charter, sweets, and what would we eat during the flight? We can't drain passengers, they'd revolt and we'd be forced to kill all of them. I don't know how to fly a plane, do you?"
"Then we fast, nipping sips here and there but no deaths."
"After what happened last time?"
"It wasn't that bad."
"Tell the settlers of Roanoke that."
"Was a fun first date alone though, wasn't it? Both of us free. You covered in all that blood. Oh, fine, fine. We'll drive, but I'm not getting in a rental. We're buying something shiny and fast and speeding the whole way."
"Feeding on patrolmen?"
"I do enjoy the taste of overinflated ego, oh and hitchhikers. Maybe stop at some of those ridiculous roadside attractions, snatch a family or two. Throw a few into the grand canyon...watch them break into little pieces."
"My sugar excited?"
"Sugar?"
"What, I can't try new things?"
"No, no, it's cute and a road trip sounds great...babe."
"You take that back."
"Mm-mm, you're babe now."
"I'm not answering to it."
"You will."
"I won't."
No becoming, they just are. Have been since sometime in the 1400s. Together since early 1500s. Different makers, bonded over poor treatment. Both makers long dead--one of them killed his own and hunted the other's to free him. They've kept in the world, blending well enough, eating whoever they want and killing anyone who tries to stop them. Most of their money is stolen or inherited from sham marriages to wealthy prey--one marries them, the other is hired as help, they enjoy one another's company and eat anyone who notices the husband isn't aging until the spouse dies. Spent some time as pirates as well, because crews have high turnover anyway, who would notice. A few of their crews did, tried to set the ship on fire with them in it. So they stopped. Lot of treasure hidden about though.
We meet them in the present, before the wedding announcement, as they're on a date that's interrupted by a vampire hunter. One who tries to shoot one of them, in the head.
His neck snaps back with the force before he scoffs, "great, there goes the hair and now I have a hole ruining my face and fuckin wiff my wordth for the next phoo ors."
His husband laughs, "oh, buddy, you're fucked. No, no, don't run. That'll just make him chase and I promise he's faster."
"Wath there holy water in thith? It thtingth."
"He drank some too, so don't bother with the blood."
"Oh I'm botherin. Drainin him dry, nithe an thlow, damn the burn."
"But your throat, and that beautiful voice..."
"You'll live. He won't."
"Share then, so you get a hot little rasp?"
"Keep that up, he geth all twitchy when you flirt with me."
"All that religion, I bet."
"Don't theem to help now."
"Well, they do leave out the why of the water and the weapons. Might as well be piss and plastic."
"Crath, love."
"We better eat him so you can heal that quicker or I'm just going to be giggling the next few hours."
They are indestructible vampires who keep getting into situations that would kill anything else...and handling them with sass or needless hysterics.
Arguing at night on a rural road, and a car hits them. The car is completely totaled, the vampires aren't even scratched but they keep arguing while yanking survivors out and eating them.
"My whole pants? All the pants. Couldn't take a leg or some of the shirt, it had to take all my fucking pants!"
"I suppose that's my fault too?"
"Well you're the one who got us lost out in fuckall and stomped your dainty little toes out to the middle of the street to scream at me so..."
"Dainty? How about we see how dainty they are when I shove them up your ass!"
"We both know what you want to shove up my ass and it's not your toes."
"Are you flirting? There's glass and bits of metal stuck in your thighs and you're flirting?"
"Noticed my thighs, did you."
"I noticed you're an idiot who doesn't know how to move out of the way!"
"Well I couldn't let the big ugly van hit that beautiful face, now could I?"
"You, don't you dare try to flatter me, you insufferable ass!"
"But you're so hot when you're angry."
"Shut. Up."
"Mm, and you want me so bad you're monosyllabic."
"Your meal is fleeing."
"Whose fault is that?"
"Oh, now you're blaming me for your running mouth?"
"If the lips fit."
"What does that even me--"
"Mm, terrible."
"Hold that heat while I catch the runner..."
"Grab his pants too, he looked your size."
"Checking out prey now?"
"Oh yes, I lust for prey, you better hurry before I flag me down a hot piece of trucker."
"I love you!"
"I love you too...you ass."
Stopping under movers raising a piano to a second floor, start making out, and the piano falls, cracking in half. The vampires are unharmed, keep making out while people scream around them trying to clean up the mess.
Making out over a dead body, shoving it out of the way to do more--using a corpse's head as leverage.
Having a delightful dinner conversation in a diner full of bodies and one living waiter left, enchanted to make and fetch them coffee.
Random prey is not afraid, "oh, what, you're going to kill me? Big vampire thinks he's scarier than a man with a gun, or a knife or determination and a spoon?"
"Well I was hungry...now not so much."
"Yeah, kinda kills the mood. What about the walking Adonis back at the clothing store?"
"Mm, he did look delicious..."
"Wait, you're not going to eat me?"
"You clearly just want to die, so you can go ahead and do that yourself."
"We're not here to eat your pain, buddy."
"Or fulfill some sick little desire you have for fangs."
"We can read them all, you know, and it's quite a show in there."
"You can...see my thoughts?"
"Yes, and it's a show you can enjoy alone."
"But I, I mean I saw you. I could, I could tell someone. Hunters."
"Oh, it's threatening us. Isn't that cute."
"Hunters are delicious, little bite. Call all you like. We're going to go drink someone hotter while we wait."
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What’s the significance of each color in Ancient Greece? So green is the only neutral color and it represents mostly natural and earthy things, thank you for telling me that part !! Anyway, as for my Hyacinthus design’s hair being brown, it’s due to the combination of it being a fairly common interpretation of his appearance and also because I find I like how it looks with his skin tone and the purple of his eyes.
Okay, firstly; thank you so much for answering my question too!
Admittedly you can't beat out good, old fashioned colour theory so that's completely fair haha! I still think it's very interesting that brown became the common interpretation of his features so I'm always glad to hear other people's view on it <3
With respect to what colours meant or symbolised in Ancient Greece, it's a super fascinating topic because the Ancient Greeks had a very different perception of colour than how a lot of people - and in this case I'll generalise and say english-speaking people - perceive colour. In a lot of languages, especially older ones, colour wasn't just a way to describe the physical perceptional reality of an observable object (that is, the light reflecting off the object that gives it its perceived hue - the way we perceive colour now) but colour was also used to describe the way in which the people experienced the world. A really good way to think about it is now, if you wanted to distinguish between two types of blue, you would instinctively make a distinction between their shades ("This blue is darker/lighter!") whereas these older people would distinguish based on things in their present, shared world that best matched what they were being asked to describe ("This blue is like the sky/the sea!")
That's an important concept to keep in mind because ancient greek was very unique in that, in addition to this concept of colour being completely intertwined with physical objects (and therefore also acquiring the properties of these objects in the minds of the people), the ancient greeks also did not particularly care about distinguishing between different colour hues (that is, differences in specific individual colour) but rather they were entirely focused on a colour's value - that is, whether it was considered light or dark.
Taking all of this into consideration, the question 'what is the significance of the different colours in Ancient Greece' is a bit of a tricky one to answer because unlike say, Ancient Egyptian which has very clear colours (red, white, green), very clear physical objects that give those colours their property (the desert sand, the sun, people's skin) and very clear symbolic meanings that arose from the natures ascribed to those physical objects due to their influence on the people's lives (hostility, power, new life), Ancient Greece's colours and the perception of those colours was much more abstract and poetic, contingent on their understandings and perceptions of things like light and dark, the sense of touch or taste (sweet and bitter/wet and dry) and what quality was ascribed to the object whose colour is being perceived. Colour was a matter of cosmology, of philosophy and there were many different schools of thought on it from Empedocles' physicalist theories to Anaxagoras' realist theories.
All of this is to say, take the meanings I outlined in this handy-dandy table with a tablespoon of salt! These are based on my understanding of the language used to describe things in classical writings that have survived and my own bias towards Empedocles' physicalist theory of colour and the nature of colour which I also think is very useful for people into greek mythology as a whole due to it making clear links between various gods creating things from mixtures of the four basic elements of nature and the colours that are the result of these mixtures.
I hope this helps even a little and I very much encourage you to do some research into different Greek schools of thought when it comes to colour and the perception of colour as well as how colour affects/reflects the innate nature of all things!
(Also, slight extra note, I left out Kokkinos (scarlet/blood-red) from the table because I didn't really think it was relevant for this outline despite it definitely being an ancient colour. It's a bit difficult to find examples of it with the kind of descriptors Empedocles outlines and I don't want to make assumptions based on third hand knowledge on the greek concept of the nature of things. I'd like to believe it was addressed in more detail in Empedocles' original document - only a fragment of the original some two thousand lines have survived after all - it is confirmed that Empedocles spoke on the recipe for blood and flesh, an equal mixture of all four elements as opposed to bones' four parts fire, two parts earth and two parts water (which is why bones shine white, there's more fire than earth or water) - and I don't want to conject or make assumptions.
I also left out Erythros or basic/primary red according to Plato's list of basic colours because that seemed to have specifically been preferred by Egyptian Greeks according to linguistic data. If I opened up that can of worms with respect to the shared Egyptian-Greek colour language including the way the Greeks like many early peoples did not culturally perceive blue until the invention of Egypt's blue dyes then I would be writing forever and you would never get an actual clear answer about Greek colour symbolism separate and apart from Egyptian cultural influence lmfao. )
A few of the documents that helped me consolidate this information include Sassi's 2022 Philosophical Theories of Colour in Ancient Greek Thought and Ierodiakonou's Empedocles on Colour and Colour Vision. There are also a fair few translations and discussions of the fragments of Empedocles' On Nature still floating about - my copy is a somewhat archaic volume of Leonard's 1908 translation but I never went out searching for updated interpretations and translations of the text since its constantly referenced in perceptional philosophy papers LOL
Anyway, yeah, hope this helps! :D
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What about a different type of Au!? In Season 1 When Colin is at the Featherington house trying to court marina. what about while he is waiting for his turn a duke or a Visount who Penelope met while helping him out of a situation shows up t court Penelope and while they are talking he make Penelope laugh meanwhile Colin who is supposed to be their for marina is looking at Penelope and the caller and realizes as he makes her laugh that he loves and is super jealous and trying one up the caller the whole time. How do you Think that would go?
Chaos, typical Bridgerton chaos. A scene is about to be made. Colin was already standing next to the seated Penelope waiting for his turn to talk to Marina so he got a front row seat of Marquess Odysseus Rose of Winchester.
Colin first noticed him out of the corner of his eye. The man quietly slipped into the room. Colin would put him around a little bit taller than him, Benedict’s age with Anthony's build and quiet confidence. The man's hair was dark, darker than Colin's own chestnut hair, and scruff along his face. His brown eyes were scanning the room.
“Pen do you know who that is?” Colin whispered to Penelope. Was it a relative of her’s? If not why wasn’t he announced? Who was he looking for?
Penelope’s eyes followed Colin’s line of sight, recognition lighting them once she landed on the man. “That is the Marquess of Winchester, Lord Rose.”
“So not a relative of your’s?” Colin asked.
Penelope shook her head. “No, I assume he is here to call on Marina like the rest of the gentlemen. Odd though, the rumors say he is more focused on his academics than looking for a wife.”
Marquess Rose looked in their direction, as if sensing their stares. A small smile formed on his face as he began to walk over to the pair. Colin noticed in his hands he carried a quill made out of a peacock feather and two journals. One of the journals was plain, something he himself has used before during his Grand Tour, the other was embossed with a floral design.
“Miss Featherington.” Marquess Rose bowed his head. “I had hoped to see you.”
Colin looked back down at Penelope. Again? They’ve met before?
Penelope giggled.
Wait, giggled? Colin found himself leaning back a little. Since when was Penelope this comfortable with some stranger? Colin felt his eye twitch, and his hand slid across the top of the chair until the back of Penelope’s head was unknowingly leaning against his fingers.
“Pen,” Colin said stressing her name. He wasn’t sure if it was to grab her attention or this stranger’s in front of them. Either way he had gotten both. “I don’t believe I have had the pleasure of meeting your new friend.”
“Oh.” Penelope blushed. So bright, and red. They reminded Colin of his favorite fruit raspberries. “Marquess Rose this is Mr. Bridgeton.”
Marquess Rose turned towards Colin, was he sizing him up?. “Bridgerton? I believe I went to school with your brother Benedict.”
“That sounds about right, you look to be about his age.”
“So you are the third brother?”
It was innocent question, many have asked it before, but something about having a titled lord ask him that in front of Penelope set Colin on edge.
“He’s the traveling brother,” Penelope said.
Colin tried not to flinch.
Something lit up in Marquess Rose’s eyes. “You travel? Have you heard the folktales from the places you travel to?”
Colin nodded, unsure why the marquess would be asking about folktales.
Thankfully Penelope spoke up. “Lord Rose studies different folktales around the world and how similar figures have appeared in different cultures.”
Marquess Rose nodded. “Yes, I am currently focusing on mermaids and maidens of the sea. It’s utterly fascinating how similar and different each part of the world views them and how they came to be.”
A lord and an academic? So he actually has a brain under that pretty head of hair? Dear god, no wonder Penelope seems excited to be in his company. Colin found himself wanting to shoo Marquess Rose off to see Marina already. So what if the marquess showed up last he’s sure Lady Featherington would push him right up to the front if she knew he was here. Maybe Colin should let the lady of the house know someone new was in it.
As if she had a similar thought, and Colin did find it so satisfying that Penelope could almost read his mind sometimes, she pointed her head in the direction of her cousin. “Calling hours are almost over soon. If you wish to see Marina my lord you may want to make your way over there.”
Marquess Rose looked confused, and. . . no. No he was not here for-
“I am sorry Miss Featherington but I am actually here to call on you.”
Penelope’s face flushed again, her eyes darting everywhere but the marquess. “Me?”
Colin felt himself go stiff.
Marquess Rose chuckled. “Yes, you Miss Featherington. I had quite enjoyed your perspective on the sirens from the Odysseys. I had hope that you would take mercy on this lord and share your thoughts on Queen Penelope of Ithaca.”
Rumors say he’s not interested in finding a wife my ass, Colin thought, his grip tightening on the chair.
Before either Penelope or Colin could respond Lady Featherington had announced that calling hours were over.
“Here,” Marquess Rose said handing Penelope the embossed journal and peacock quill. “Write your thoughts in here. I can come back another day for you to share them with me.”
“Lord Rose these are too fine for me-”
Marquess Rose cuts Penelope off by closing her hand around the quill and journal. “They are my courting gift to you. One of many actually.” With that Marquess bowed his head to Penelope one more time before leaving.
Colin and Penelope both stared at where the marquess had just left. Well Penelope stared, Colin glared.
Penelope traced the new quill. “This is the first time someone has came to call on me.”
Colin felt himself bristle. He had. . .came to call on Marina, not Pen. As Penelope stroked the spine of the journal Colin promised himself that the Marquess would not be the only caller Pen had tomorrow.
“What are you doing?” Benedict asked.
Colin was surrounded by books, looking as if he was on a mad quest to find the right one. In one hand he held the story of Eros and Psyche, while the other held the Odyssey.
“One of your old schoolmates, the Marquess of Winchester, came and called on Penelope today.”
Benedict scrunched up his nose, trying to think back on who this marquess is. “Okay, what does this have to do with you tearing apart the library?”
“He claims he wants to court her,” Colin spat the word, “but when he first arrived he said he wanted to hear her thoughts on the Queen of Ithaca in the Odyssey. Then he left her with a journal and quill, but no book to reference from. Without a doubt he is looking to embarrass Pen just because she is clever and witty.”
Benedict crossed his arms. “Still doesn’t explain the library.”
“I am going to call on Penelope tomorrow as well with a gift of the Odyssey that she may reference and examine,” Colin said. Now getting up from the floor he began placing both books in a bag. “If Lord Rose thinks-”
“Oh you mean Odysseus-”
“HIS NAME IS ODYSSEUS?!”
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Hello there and welcome back to my bullshit, otherwise known as Miraculous AUs I'll never write but still want to talk abt! First post on the topic but lmk if you want more?
Anyways, here is the Miraculous Adventurer AU, better title pending! Seeing as I'm busy with literally dozens of WIPs and can't write a second longform fic, I figured I'd share to see if someone wants to pic it up! Listen, I rambled about this once on Discord and it hasn't left my head since, I really need to talk abt it!
So! Marinette Dupain Cheng is a baker's daughter in a small border town of the kingdom, in a little corner of land ruled over by Lord Bourgeois, who spoils his eccentric and brattish daughter Chloe with gifts and allows her to bully the townsfolk without much resistance to Chloe's whims. Marinette's dream is of course, to become a seamstress for the royal family. So eventually, she leaves home to make the journey to the capital, away from Chloe's relentless bullying and to a new adventure. She only takes a few meager belongings and her father's old sword, but still manages to make it a few towns over before running out of funds.
Needing a quick way to earn money that won't tie her down to this small village she's ended up in, Marinette decides to try her luck at the adventurer's guild nearby, knowing...well, to somewhat smack someome with a sword. As she enters the Guild, she crosses paths with another Adventurer, someone who looks to be a professional. The man wears dark leather armor adorned with metal studs on the guantlets, carrying what looks to be a well-worn metal staff on his back. Relunctantly, she approaches the man to see what he wants.
Of course, the totaly-a-pro and definately-not-also-a-first-timer intorduces himself suavely as Chat Noir, professional adventurer and hero extrordinaire! Clearly, he knows his stuff. Chat offers to help Marinette around, mostly offering joking flirts along the way as a receptionist shows up to run Mari through the process of getting a Guild Membership Card, and her first quest.
Obviously, Marinette turns Chat down Ladybug-style and insists she can handle herself, but he still tries (and fails) to sneakily follow her. But when they end up getting in trouble during Mari's first job...they realize they make a better team than either of them imagined. And if Chat so happens to let it slip that he's also an amatuer and looking for a partner as he heads to the Royal Capital...maybe letting him tag along wouldn't be so bad after all.
TL;DR: Marinette picks up adventuring as she travels the county, Chat Noir is a mysterious and suave rogue that's decided to team up with her (he's a bit more like Movie!Chat on their first mission, but after that develops a *small* crush on her like in Origins), and the two become the adventuring team known as Ladybug and Chat Noir...all because Marinette didn't want to reveal her name and a ladybug happened to land on her hand when a random girl they rescue on the job (Alya) asks her. This is beginning of a legendary story full of adventure, danger, obnoxious puns, and hopefully, maybe, someday, Marinette's fashion degree!
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