#yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

[mrpenguinpants]

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Hey anon!! As much frustration I hold for crippling oblivious couples, I also love the trope so much. Plus I adore Razor. Even though I try to not call Razor a dog, I still google “jealous dog traits”. Also, I found out both Hanniejji and I secretly HCs Bennet is friends with Razor and Fischl. If genshin won’t give me character interactions then I’ll write it myself.

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Semi Part 1: General HCs

Semi Part 2: Pre-Relationship HCs

Semi Part 3: Cuddle HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

 @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @ aanne2601 @hanniejji​

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Bennet and Fischl are both foaming at the mouth at how deeply in love you BOTH are and yet you’re both equally blind. Fischl wants to grab you by the shoulders and yell at you that Razor returns your feelings and you need to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. A sad Razor looks like a kicked puppy and even she can’t handle it. But Razor absolutely refuses for anyone to confess for him because he believes that you might just genuinely be uninterested in him. Plus, it wouldn’t feel right if he couldn’t confess himself. It’s his first love, this is important to him.

Bennet thinks it’s really sweet that his friend is in love. Even if he does get a bit pouty that whenever he get’s hurt, Razor will ask if he’s alright and leave it at that. But if you accidently trip Razor is already at your side and fussing over you. Bennet uses this as physical proof that yes, your feelings are returned and this man is in love with you, but you always brush it off as Razor’s nature to be caring. He’s smiling patiently on the outside but on the inside he has his hands in his hair and he’s screaming.

God forbid anything upsets you. Razor hasn’t been around other humans long enough to pick up on most social cues but he does have a good sense of smell. If you’re happy then the wind smells like sweet flowers. If you’re upset then it smells like mint. While Razor usually keeps himself in check and is somewhat indifferent, the second he catches any signs of distress from you he’s on high alert. Until you tell him what’s been bothering you - a group of hilichurls stole your bag of snapdragon flowers - he’s going to be on guard and stressed out. He’s already throwing his claymore over his shoulder to go and fight the monsters that tried to upset you. Wow, what a good friend you say to Fischl. Fischl is ready to punt you off a cliff.  

Razor tries his best to show that he likes you by bringing the things you need and looking like such a proud pup. He looks at you with such hopeful eyes that it takes you a second to register what he’s asking before you feel your own heart rate speed up and pound into your ears. You flush pink before you move to embrace him and ruffle his hair as praise as he nuzzles into your shoulder affectionally. You assume his affectious actions are apart of his wolf nature and how they act so you try not to read too deep into things. Even if Razor seems a bit too happy to be hugging you and receiving pets. Or the fact he doesn’t let anyone else pet him...

Bennet tries his best to help his friend out by giving Razor some advice but considering Bennet himself hasn’t been in a relationship yet, it’s all practical. Telling Razor that he’s seen couples bring each other flowers as a sign of affection, maybe Razor could find some plants to bring you? It ends horribly when he offers you a wolfhook and you just stare at him. He says that these are his feelings towards you but you’re just...so confused?? Wolfhooks have thorns so does that mean he thinks you’re clingy? Isn’t that a bad thing? Are you annoying to him?? But wolfhooks also symbolize wolves so is he saying you’re like family to him??? You’re internally screaming while debating if you just got family-zoned or if Razor is trying to subtly tell you that he doesn’t like you.

Just because Razor is, somehow, unsure if you actually like him or not. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get incredibly jealous and possessive at any unknown presence. He’s still a bit wary of the City due to all the conflicting smells and noises but he can’t help but look so sad when you have to run errands and you can’t visit him. But when you mention that a really nice knight gifted you a flower does Razor see red. He gave you a flower?? Shouldn’t you be happy with his? Why do you need another one when you have his? Is his gift not good enough? Is this your way of saying you’re interested in someone else? This poor boy is on the verge of either running off to go sulk or find the man that gave you this flower, which up until his knowledge - courtesy of Bennet - is a sign of courting, and absolutely destroy him to prove he’s the better partner.

He tries to keep it under wraps since he's been told that while in the City, he needs to exercise restrain and understand that if he enters. He's expected to at least respect the laws and people. But this poor wolf is so feral over this new development and this new smell that's been clinging onto you that whatever worries and isolation issues Razor felt about the city flies out the window as his protective instincts kick into overdrive. He sees other people and even pets as a rival for your attention and love. He just wants to scoop you up and growl at everything as a message to say “this is mine, go get your own”.

Even when the both of you are far away from the city, Razor’s continued mood seems to hang heavy over both your heads. You’re not sure what exactly caused Razor to be on high alert. He’s snapping and growling at everything little thing that comes close, even a butterfly!

You abruptly stop walking to Razor’s surprise as you whip around and frown at him. He can feel a chill run up his spine as he stands perfectly straight as you study him before you hold your palm out and looked at him expectantly. He looks at your hand with a small spark of perked attention before his nose twitches and he goes back to sulking. You’re still waiting for him as he shuffles a bit, his hair that resembled a wolf ear is twitching, before he whines and trots over and places his chin on your palm. He’s looking up at you with the most kicked puppy expression and you don’t even know what you did but you feel like the worse person in all of Teyvat.

“Razor...what’s gotten into you?” you ask gently as you rub circles into his cheek as he nuzzles into your palm. He seems really conflicted as his eyes dart away from your face and he almost looks guilty. He just whines and turns and buries his face into your warm palm. You’ve never really seen him like that before as you awkwardly try and comfort him. Until the same flower slips out of your pocket and you hear something primal growl out of Razor. His teeth are pulled back and he snarls at the flower as his pupils dilate. You quickly get between him and the poor flower before Razor tries to do anything.

“Seriously Razor, what’s gotten into you?” you asked concerned. He quickly shifts his attention to you as he pounces and knocks you over. You left off a soft noise as the wind get’s knocked out of you but you peep when his hands cage you from above. Razor’s red eyes bore into yours and you’re suddenly thinking the air is getting too hot. 

“Do you like Razor?” he asks, tilting his head in a cute pout. It makes you internally coo before you quickly snap out of it. Stay focused! 

“Of course I do! Remember we talked about this?” you say as you remember back to your previous interactions but this only seems to frustrate Razor more.

“No. Not that like. More...” Razor struggles with his words as he tries to piece together the right string of sounds to try and convey what he’s feeling. He seems so conflicted that it breaks your heart a bit. So you reach up and gently rub behind his ear as he closes his eyes and relaxes. He breathes in deeply as his eyes open and his pupils return to normal, but vastly determined.

“Together. Always. Just...us,” Razor says softly as he looks at you hopefully. There’s a small pink dust to his cheeks as his fang digs into his lip in nervousness. You’re not sure why but your heart absolutely sky rockets at it and you can feel your face flush pink.

“Um, yes?” you nod along, you think you’re understanding what he’s trying to say. Maybe he was just upset you were spending so much time in the City and away from him that he felt your friendship was neglected? That would make you really upset. But the way he phrases his words makes you believe that perhaps...

Before you can think more on it. Razor’s face breaks into a grin that nearly blinds you from the pure affection that sprouts from it. He’s already hugging you harder as he starts rubbing his nose and cheek against your neck. Making soft and happy sounds as he nuzzles you. He’s never done that before but you assume he’s just so happy. You breath a sigh of relief that it appears that your message to him was clear enough.

Yeah of course, friends always, you think

Lupical. Partner. Mate, Razor thinks.

---

whistling as I pretend I don’t see your stares. Yeah ik but it’s ok. This is a sorta semi series. We’ll build upon it. But Xiao content is next lol. I’m taking inspiration from this. I mean, when I don’t feel like shit 😷

I’ve been listening to [  Softy - Dear Moon ]. This isn’t the usual kind of music I listen to but it came on shuffle and this is now my mental breakdown song.

Quick edit: Turns out this is an ost from “My Mister”. I’ve never been into kdramas (I think I’ve only seen goblin, she was pretty, and Hwarang) but the cover picture looks so upsetting? My friend is really into tgcf and I believe that had a live action as well. 

[softukiyos]

of last dances and goodbyes | bang chan

𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦; 𝘳𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣: 𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘻.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: ~2.1k+

𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮: @aegrotamograine​

𝙖/𝙣: 𝘩𝘪, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦! 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘪 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺! >.< 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶!

A sigh of tranquility and dejection left Chan’s lips as he stood at the edge of the balcony, the mindless chatter inside the ballroom fading into the distance at he stared at up at the stars, lost in thought. 

When did the night sky start to look so dull to him? As a matter of fact, when did his eyes start to lose that childlike sparkle of innocence that shielded him from the rest of the world?

“I thought you’d be hiding here, Channie.”

Just the sound of your voice pulled him back to reality, which wasn’t any less dull and heartless at the chilly sky, “You should be inside, Your Highness,” he said, a polite edge to his voice as he turned around to face you, “The birthday girl shouldn’t be missing at her own party.”

You looked as beautiful as ever, a dazzling lavender gown trailing down your body with a soft, cashmere shawl wrapped around your bare shoulders, shielding you from the cold. The jewelry adorning your neck was priceless, brilliant, and everything Chan couldn’t give you. 

“You know don’t care about me, they just want to have a reason to celebrate,” you answered with an amused smile, your heels clicking against the marble floor as you walked towards him, “Besides, I’d much rather be here with you.”

In the past, those words would’ve sent Chan’s heart spiraling into arrest. He would’ve been giddy for days, even weeks. But now, the reality was crashing onto him at a mile a minute, and he could no longer ignore the impending fracture of your once inseparable relationship.

“When do you leave? For his kingdom?” He asked, unable to hide his disdain any longer as he refused to even utter his name.

Your smile fell, and Chan almost felt guilty if he wasn’t so caught up in wallowing in his own heartbreak, “Tomorrow. Minho wanted to give me time to settle in before the...you know.” 

Ah, yes. Chan knew very well what you were referring to, unfortunately for his poor little soul, “You don’t have to sugarcoat it for my sake, Your Highness,” he said with a dry smile, “Your wedding to Prince Minho should be a joyous occasion.”

“If it is so joyous as you say, why do you look so solemn?” You asked, your eyes unwavering in their steadfast nature as you met his gaze, walking closer to him.

“A joyous occasion for you, Princess,” Chan corrected himself, a tightness in his jaw as he maintained his stiff smile. 

You stared at him for a moment longer, almost as if studying how long Chan will continue this farce, this falsehood of a conversation that kept you so far away from even with every physical step closer you took, “You must be angry at me.”

“I wouldn’t dare be angry at a Princess--”

“Just shut up with the stupid formalities and speak to me like a real person, dammit,” you suddenly spit out with such vitriol that even Chan felt thrown aback by your anger. When you caught sight of his shocked expression, your voice cracked as your smile broke, “You’re the only person in this palace that ever truly saw me, truly cared for me, and now I’ll have to leave this place losing you, too?” 

Chan felt a horrified gasp choke up in his throat as he rushed forward without hesitation as he saw your eyes sparkling dangerously under the glow of the lamps, “Princess,” he sighed, reaching to wipe your tears with his thumb before stopping himself. 

He couldn’t do such careless things anymore. You were no longer the free-spirited girl he grew up with, who flirted as she wished and loved as she desired. You were an engaged Princess with a glittering diamond ring wrapped around your middle finger and a duty to the Crown you were born into. 

You ignored his internal turmoil, wiping the corners of your eyes angrily, “There wasn't any other choice, and you know it. You know what kind of position they almost found us in. If I hadn't agreed to this—”

“They would've taken off my head,” Chan finished dully, almost tired of hearing it by now. He was tired of arguing, tired of still thinking himself to be free of any wrongdoing, “An execution for a knight who simply did his duty and loved his princess too much.” 

Your silence was the only agreement you could bear to offer.

“I would’ve accepted it, you know,” he continued, chuckling mirthlessly as he looked up at the sky once again, “I would’ve been willing to die for you, for us.”

“But I couldn’t bear that,” you croaked out, the thought of it twisting the knife further into your weak heart as you stared at Chan, “You know I can’t bear to see you suffer for me.”

“Dying would’ve been less painful,” he finally hissed, eyes blazing as he clenched his jaw, trying to regain control again, “Dying would be less painful than seeing you marry another person.”

But at that, you only shook your head, “You’re wrong, Channie. It will hurt, I won’t doubt that it will, especially since it’s been tearing me apart the same way, but you’ll move on from me. You’ll find a pretty lady and you’ll fall head over heels for her, and you will be happy again.”

Chan felt his heart effectively splinter into tiny pieces as he reached for your face again, this time bearing to brush his fingers against your cheek tentatively, “I don’t want to move on,” he whispered as if the walls and the vines would carry his words back to the King and Queen, “My heart has been yours since the beginning, Princess—please—”

“This is the only way, Channie,” you spoke just as softly, holding his hand in your own as you gazed at him with such love and desperation, and he realized with horror that you were pressing something into his palm. The little teddy bear charm he’d given you when you went off on your first foreign trip. You’d clutched it to your chest every night, clinging onto it for comfort and imagining that you were burrowed in Chan’s strong arms again. But now, it was time to give it back to its original owner.

Just then, the next lighthearted waltz began to ring from inside the ballroom, filling your ears with a gentle music, too kind and loving for the conversation you were having. But maybe that was what you both needed. Kindness. Forgiveness. Love.

“My darling knight,” you whispered, lacing your fingers together as you leaned your forehead against his. No one was watching, and this might be your last chance to speak to him, to feel him so close against you, “Dance with me.”

Chan shook his head, being childish for once in his life. He didn't want to dance with you. He didn't want to say goodbye. He knew what was going to happen; when the waltz finished, you'd no longer be his, his love, his sweetheart. 

“Please,” you asked softly, gazing at him with such sadness and love that it was all Chan could do to not burst into tears, “Please let me leave tomorrow knowing that I was loved by someone. Please let me show you how much I love you.”

Slowly, he reached for your hand, and with an arm around your waist, the two of you swayed gently to the music wafting out from the ballroom, thinking and looking at no one but each other. Chan was the first person you ever danced with, the person whose toes you’d stepped on an unholy amount of times and the first person you’d thrown a temper tantrum at when you screwed up the footwork for the fourth time in a row. 

And you, you were Chan’s first and only love. He stood by your side since he was only seven years old, a homeless orphan taken in by one of the royal knights under your father’s command. Since the moment he’d met you, cheeks puffed out with indignation as you walked around with the king, he’d been enamoured by your spirit, vowing to safeguard it for as long as he was physically capable. 

It had only been a matter of time better the two of you fell in love. 

As the music swelled in the present, Chan felt his inhibitions slowly ebb away with the music. He lifted you into the air, a smile creeping onto his lips as you began to smile. Giggles were exchanged as you purposely stepped on his toes. 

“Hey,” he said pointedly, eyeing you, “I know you don’t do that on accident anymore.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said with an innocent expression before the two of you dissolved into giggles once more and continued to dance, spinning and twirling to your hearts content. 

Chan found himself smiling as he haphazardly spun with you, twisting both of your arms and making you laugh. You found yourself smacking his chest more than a few times as he added cheeky dips and twirls that would’ve made your dance teacher faint in abject horror. 

The two of you danced and danced until, like a painful pinch to your skin, the music ended as suddenly as it began, and the clumsy yet heart-wrenchingly endearing waltz was over. Chan felt his bright smile morph into something more peaceful as he held your waist, held you close as his heart pounded. Could you feel it? Probably, and if you couldn’t feel it you’d still know anyway. He could tell that you knew, just from the way you looked at him, so unrestrained and filled to the brim with love that you could never express with words or actions. It was always in your eyes. 

His gaze fell to your soft lips and his heart skipped a beat. He wished he could kiss you, he wanted to kiss you. If he didn’t now, he’d never get the chance again. 

It must’ve been his lucky day, because you seemed to be thinking the same thing. Like clockwork, the two of you fell into each other’s embrace as Chan shifted, pressing you against the marble railing of the balcony as his broad shoulders shielded you from the windows and any other nosy onlookers. 

“Princess,” he murmured, his nose almost brushing against yours as your eyes fluttered closed, being pulled towards your knight as if an invisible force was pushing you forward. 

“Dearest!”

A shrill voice called from the door to the balcony, and the two of you froze in fear, your hands stopping from where they’d crept up to Chan’s neck. The man reacted immediately, moving away from you as if burned, even though the two of you were behind a few well placed bushes that there was no way she could see either of you. 

It hurt you more than you could explain, even though you were the one who had to reap what you’d sowed.

“Yes, mother?” You called in response, fixing your hair as you stayed hidden from her piercing gaze. 

“Are you done stargazing? Your fiancé is looking for you!” 

Chan flinched as if he’d been physically slapped. Ah, yes. The moment was so blissful for a few minutes that he’d almost forgotten the current situation. He wasn’t supposed to be even a feet near you, and you were supposed to be carted off to your husband’s kingdom at dawn. 

You sucked in a breath, throwing Chan a pained glance before answering, “Can it wait?”

“I don’t think it can, dearest. He’s already postponed the toast for quite a while to give you the space you wanted!” Even from a distance, you could hear your mother’s sharp exasperation, “Can’t you just come in? Don’t make a fuss, Y/N.” 

Chan wanted you to say no, to scoff right at your mother’s face and stick your tongue out before running away petulantly. That was what the little you would’ve done, and Chan was always the one that had to pick up the pieces, bowing profusely to your parents before following you. 

But unfortunately for the both of you, those times had passed, and you were no longer the immature little girl he’d grown up with. He could see it in the way you straightened your posture almost imperceptibly, the way your gaze towards him grew sad. You were going back in to your fiancé, your future. 

With one last squeeze of his hand, you pulled away from him and headed back into the ballroom, turning your back on your past, your childhood that was filled with nothing but innocence and Chan--so much Channie this, Channie that. 

And as Chan stood alone in the shadows, out of sight and out of your life, he let out a bitter chuckled, clutching the little charm so tightly in his fist that he was afraid it might crack. 

He didn’t even get to kiss you one last time.

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

12. Liars and lovers

Dialogue prompt : If you don't hug me right now, I think I might fall apart.

Request by my favourite @thebusyfangirl @sunflowerishdolphin

TW- ANGST | highly inspired by young royals..

" you're just young in love. It's all just puppy love " beat

" it's not real. Wake up from this horrid dream" beat

" you're not in love, you can't be "

" you have black blood in you " beat

" you're a Malfoy " beat

It felt like flashes imploding in front of his eyes with the shutter of those lights going off with his heart palpating heavily like the beats of a rock music deafening his ears. He was over the solid surface but he felt as though he was in a Quicksand, sucking him under and his throat as if tied with a telephone cord which Only tightened with every beat. He could feel his hands but not his legs, it was weird, it felt strange like his eyes were closing but they were forced open. The feeling of the resting tongue on the top of his mouth felt very strange, as if it was the first time he was feeling it, but he wasn't. He always had felt it but it seemed so vivid. All his thoughts ran into had that wall always been that black? It was as if he was standing in the middle of a raging cyclone but not an inched of him was harmed as the water passed through him. And there he was, standing in his white sweater with emerald eyes, staring in the longingness , waiting for draco to take his hand.

" Mr. Malfoy ?" He heard. Draco's eyebrows shot up as his trance of thoughts broke and he looked at the opened door with a small figure's shadow casting on the surface.

" they're here " Reggie, the house elf said. Draco nodded from where he was sitting on the bed with a remembrall in his hand.

" I'll be there in a second " he whispered. Reggie nodded and left the door opened. Draco breathed heavily as he stood up and watched himself in the mirror, fixing his suit.

With a beating heart, he went where he was supposed to be.

" you know what to say ?" Lucius asked as he squeezed on draco's shoulder.

Draco reluctantly nodded, pulling his coat, shaking his hands to get rid of the anxiety bubbling.

Narcissa smiled fondly at her son, fixing his tie, then leaning down to whisper in his ear "it's all on you draco "

Draco tried to give a fake smile as he entered the living room, an interviewer waiting for him.

" the name had already a been corrupted enough for us that you had to be seen with the potter kid. Have our name not been tainted enough that you had to pull up another stunt to drown our name draco ? You're the hier of Malfoy, you can't be like this. We can fix this, fix you together but all you need to do is refuse any accusations that stand our way. You are a Malfoy draco, a Malfoy and we don't play with love. You are to marry a girl and live a life like everyone of ours and it ends there. You are to say, to deny everything printed out in Media. It's the Only way, the only way "

" are you ready ?" She asked. Draco heaved before he nodded, sitting down in front of her.

" we'll start of with the business you are bound to take upon soon ? So is it true that you had came up with the Malfoy business, right after you've been drowned in debt and you actually want to run something like that ?" She asked

" but I don't want to be the chairman or the bloody ceo or anyone of that company "

" yes, I will be taking over. And I very much look forward to it " he smiled stiffly.

" and is it also true that you will be in denial to any muggles and strictly follow a wizards and witches employees ?"

" people are never going to like it. Think-"

" that's enough Draco "

" yes. We believe that wizards and witches are the only one's capable of being our employees " draco answered with a stiff nod.

" and you're going to manage running the business alongside school ?" She asked

" but my education-"

" think about the family for one bloody second instead of just your own self " Lucius sneered

" I think it's very much that I run it alongside my education. And I very much think I'll do my best "

" now as of talking about the news that recently spurred through, you were seen with mr. Harry potter, at the recent fundraiser after party held by Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry ?" She asked, penning down with much interest

" big deal I was seen with him-"

" you can't be and that's the end of it. You are going to say that you were having a civil conversation, that's it "

" we have put our differences aside and I see no reason as why I cannot be seen with him " draco sternly replied, earning a low threatening glare from his father behind them " We were in a civil conversation if anyone interested " draco added

" so it's not true that you two were supposedly dating ?" She asked

" it's a lie "

Beat.

__________________________________

Have that wall always been this green ? Draco wondered as he stared at the opposite wall longingly, unnoticed tears escaping his eyes. He didn't even cared anymore to wipe them away as the memories rang loudly in his head from the very afternoon, the conversation he had with harry himself, how he had let him down and his loving eyes and the pain it caused him. The look of pain etched so defined over his face.

" I waited like an hour for you " draco whispered as he watched harry come closer

" oh did you now ? Why was that mr. Malfoy? Shall I apologize my majesty?" Harry sarcastically replied as he crossed his arms in front of him after reaching close enough to have a conversation.

" harry-"

" it's potter to you " harry raised his eyebrows sternly

" harry, i can explain " draco sighed

Harry looked at the tree behind draco, almost rolling his eyes " and what would it change Malfoy ?"

" harry, please-"

" please what? Or do you want me to please you with another comforting things so you can bluntly say it to the media that we aren't fucking together " harry Snapped

" I had no choice " draco raised his voice

" you never have one draco " harry too raised his voice. Just for a moment, just one, draco wanted to scream at harry, to tell him thing's aren't served on a silver platter for him as everything think's it to be.

" I- it was the only way whether you accept it or not" draco sighed. He shook his head as he Turned around to watch over the lake they'd been standing near to away from everyone, their meeting spot. Maybe looking away would make it all easier, just maybe.

" also I think we should break up" draco suddenly whispered behind him.

Harry frowned as he turned to see Draco "you want to break up?"

" is that your decision?" He added

" yes, i don't think we should do this anymore then" Draco's voice quivered as he spoke through " we knew it wasn't going to last anyways. And I m- I need the family name to go on and not being with you is the only way. It'll just be like a little school fling "

"fine " harry whispered after a long pause, sniffing, wiping off his escaping tears.

" it's better anyway. I'd rather be with someone who doesn't throw me away " harry whispered.

Draco sighed turning to face harry and cupping his face in his hands " you know it's not like that "

" seems otherwise " harry distantly replied as he stared far ahead over the lake.

" hey" draco tried to make harry look at him but only met with stern denial " look at me, please " Draco chewed his lip controlling his emotions.

Harry finally looked at draco, his jaw clenched " and what ?"

" I'm sorry " draco whispered as he wiped Harry's tears and kissed his forehead. Harry hummed, avoiding draco's face again. Frowning draco wrapped his arms around harry, not meeting with the same..

" hug me" draco insisted

But harry didn't.

Draco let his tear finally escape his eyes over Harry's shoulder " you have to understand harry, please "

" I do understand, very clearly " harry replied stiffly

Draco had nothing more left to say. His tears spilled with his arms still wrapped around Harry's in unrequited action, feeling his heart palpating rapidly with a void.

" I'm sorry " draco whispered again, wrapping his arms tighter but met with only the emptiness of lost love. The pain soothed across his body with the denied physical touch harry had once enjoyed so much. He hated this harry, the one who didn't hug back, the one who was so distant. He needed his harry back, if only for a moment before they break apart but aware of the pain he caused harry, he knew he wasn't going to but he tried.

" harry, please " his voice quivered in Harry's neck

" if you don't hug me right now I think i might fall apart"

" you don't deserve it " and with that harry broke free and without a glance walked away leaving draco with the the agony of losing him. He wanted to hug harry, he really wanted him to, he needed to but harry didn't and somewhere draco knew he was left to deal with it himself from now on. Harry was gone and it was draco's fault.

" Draco I asked if you're coming for dinner ?" Someone asked as they opened the door slightly

Draco looked up from the wall to the door, pansy holding the door half open " you go. I'm not hungry " draco sniffed

Pansy looked at Draco with pity " take care " and she left, too.

_______________________________

They were officially broken up. It was clear. Harry didn't spared a single glance at Draco, not even accidentally, he didn't share the table at potions with him either and much so, he didn't even cross paths with draco anymore but would rather be 4 minutes late to the class.

Harry was distant and not just with draco but with everyone else and it ached draco. Layin on the bed with lonely feelings, he missed their nights together, the nights of Laying under the star watching each other instead of the sky because they thought other was more beautiful. He missed the way Harry's wrapped around his waist from behind and the way he kissed his neck and whispered words so smoothly of a normal conversation as if it didn't affect him at all but most of them all, he missed kissing harry. He missed feeling the way Harry's lips Whispered in the howling wind his love for Draco. He missed it.

Draco threw his head back, sighing to himself, wiping away the tears of unhappiness that visited him like a nightmare every night after having lost Harry's because of his own faults.

But grief turned to sorrow, sorrow to pain, pain to numbness and numbness to anger, he threw away his journal at the opposite wall.

" fuck " he yelled as he harshly tugged at his hair " fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck " he groaned, crying heavily.

The entire month he had been waiting for the void to be filled with something, something other than harry but harry like a pest had reached the core of his heart and infected every inch that he missed him in every song, in every story, In every poem, in every walk, in every talk, in every conversation, in every tear, in every smile, in every melody, in every tune, in every aspect, he was infected with Harry's love and he missed him with the core of his infected heart that Could've only been cured by harry, who had left. Left for Christmas break, left draco, left everything about him.

He ran his hand down his face, pinching his nose trying to get rid of the feeling but nothing worked and he had to show up at another interview in another hour to talk about inauguration. He was screwed and he blamed himself.

" you are responsible for your own actions " narcissa had said one night " always remember that. Before anyone else's you're your own. Remember that "

" save the heart, you moron " harry had laughed one day while they were discussing a silly riddle..

" Save your heart, moron " draco's reflection mocked as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Wiping away his tears, he immediately got ready and checked out of the school.

__________________________________

" and you'll be running the business, right ? Like your father expects ?" She asked, over the mic..

" yes, I will be" he replied, uncrossing his legs..

" Mr.Malfoy, if you don't mind of course, after having denied last month of any sparks of your relationship with mr. Harry potter, are you In general seeing anyone then? Someone who'd take forward the malfoy name ?"

That ought to do it, possibly. Draco stared at the fraction of people waiting for his reply.

" save your heart "

" you're your own "

" mr. Malfoy ?" She asked again.

Draco broke out of his trail, suddenly becoming aware of the mic in his hand.

What the fuck was he doing ?

Suddenly everything seemed so real and all he could think of was the emerald eyes, standing in the middle of the cyclone waiting for him to take his hand..

" I'm sorry" Draco suddenly said as he stood up, dropping the mic and walking off the Little stage

" Mr. Malfoy ? Can you please answer the question?" She asked again..

Draco looked at her before for one last time he picked up the mic and said " I lied "

" what do you mean you lied ?" 2 people asked

Draco stared at everyone, his mind doing circle one more time before he found the little courage and replied

" I'm gay"

" and I love harry potter "

Will have part 2

300 followers appreciation dialogue prompt requests open

[pridewhatpride]

do you have any gx rivalshipping hcs!! im super curious on your take of them :]

When I saw this ask my immediate reaction was thinking: "Yes, I have an excuse to talk about gx rivalshipping, YES."

So yeah. I love this ship a lot, like a whole damn lot and it's a little hard to explain why, especially when gx has so many open possibilities for romances involving Judai. By which I mean two, really, and Manjoume is not one of them (sadly for me). I am referring to Yubel and Johan, by the way, I refuse to acknowledge Asuka as a love interest.

I'll start off with a bit of fluff headcanons?

Manjoume thinks Winged Kuriboh is really cute and that its friendly and fluffy appearance screams Judai, in a way. But he will never admit it because of what that might imply for him and the Ojamas.

Manjoume is fueled by caffeine and monster, he only really starts to recognise how nice it can be to have a meal because of how much Judai enjoys his food. He tries to sit at the table with him with dumb excuses.

Judai feels a bit guilty for how his actions impacted Manjoume's life, but Manjoume generally tells him that it's fine, it's better this way, that he's never this happy, that the only reason why Judai should maybe feel bad about it is because of his tendency to get overly invested in other people's problems and getting hurt in the process. Judai responds with bear hugs.

Manjoume brags about Judai a lot, actually. "Oh you think that's cool? One time Judai managed to do a backflip, you loser." "Slifer reds suck, but they do have redeeming qualities, by which I mean one of them is actually good."

Judai likes to indulge himself in the thought that he's Manjoume's most trusted, that he's the only one who could ever be allowed to have that many incriminating pictures of him. Because Judai just loves taking candid pictures of Manjoume. He thinks he looks and and cool in every situation, so yeah. A part of him does it because he has an inexplicable fear of forgetting people and the way they look, but he just can't say why that is.

They hang out in silence a lot, but once they start talking they just never stop. You'll find them on the beach at 3 am with a smiling Manjoume listening to Judai go on about how crazy it is that you can fry food in so many different ways and how he once caught a butterfly as a kid and named it Kujaku.

They share their music a lot, so Manjoume's tastes switch from just emo to fast paced rap and the weirdly happy sounding songs about very morbid things Judai listens to (plus emo). Judai starts to enjoy a bit of angry screaming into microphones thanks to Jun. Do they sing along like idiots as they share earphones? Yes. Is Manjoume mesmerised by Judai's singing voice? Also yes.

Judai loves hiking and sometimes invites Manjoume, but because he's a lot weaker and has less stamina, they take it slow. Manjoume keeps cursing himself for being slow and dead weight, but Judai is just happy to have a companion. Admittedly, going slower makes the walks better as he has the time to enjoy the scenery properly. He never teases Jun about his lack of physical training.

Now... I wanted to talk about my general view on the ship, plus headcanons I guess, but this is going to be EVEN LONGER (you are getting more than you asked for, your fault for enabling me, really). For the sake of the sanity of mobile users, I'm adding a cut so nobody has to unwillingly scroll through endless text.

On to the the juice, then. My thoughts on the ship. Manjoume and Judai are, of course, the rivals of the series and, if my thoughts on rivalry weren't clear enough, I am one of those people. It's just really romantic to me. What is very interesting about the two of them specifically is that they are polar opposites in the way the reason why they play, throughout the whole series. Hell, their views end up getting reversed completely: Manjoume goes from "if I don't win I'm gonna have a breakdown breakdown" to "losing is ok, as long as I enjoy the game and am true to myself", while Judai does the 180 from "I really just love playing cards with my friends, who cares about the outcome, it's fun" to "I have card game related trauma, nobody speak to me, games are only an excuse to assert a sort of power scale and honestly fuck that".

Manjoume is sort of the only person in the 'friend group' (he's never actually part of it, sadly, literally only Judai and Fubuki like him) to not idolise Judai, not explicitly. He clearly has an admiration for Judai from the beginning, but he is adamant on expressing it as hatred towards for being better than him. A part of me feels that a lot of his superior act is meant to try and fool himself and Jaden into thinking that he's a worthy rival, because I know for a fact that Manjoume doesn't believe that. He wants it to be true, yes.

What I am trying to get at is that Judai is probably a little confused by the fact that Manjoume doesn't drool all over him like the rest of the school does, but it soon becomes a crutch. Judai is under a lot of pressure because he is the hero who will save everyone and people like to remind him of how much they count on him. Manjoume is in it for Judai. He wants to be acknowledged by him, he wants his recognition and his attention, but he never asks for help or expects Judai to fix his problems for him. Judai is probably thankful for that.

Manjoume is also really scared of being left behind and cast aside as soon as he stops being useful and that's exactly what the writers do to him!!! hooray!, but Judai keeps insisting that he's not a bad guy, that he's fun to be around, that he's competent. Manjoume doesn't really believe all that that much, but Jaden keeps playing him despite his repeated losses and to Jun that's the equivalent of someone kissing his tears away. Manjoume only learns to accept his losses and shortcomings because Judai did it for him first.

So basically Manjoume is the only one who fully sees Judai as a person, while Judai is the only one who is really willing to look past his pretentious facade. I fully believe that Judai was relieved to learn that Manjoume was not just a perfect boy with perfect manners, by the way. They both just love to learn about every imperfection that the other has and silently thinking that they just add to the beauty of the other's character. Will they tease eachother about it? Fuck yes. Do they feel awful when the other tries to fix something about themselves because they pointed it out? Also fuck yes.

They are in a dumb competition against themselves to be better in order to earn the right to be friends with eachother, but because they are fucking dumb they never actually communicate (until they do), so for a long time it's endless pining that is definitely not gay because admittedly Judai just doesn't think that dating is a thing, while Manjoume is straight™, really straight. He has never liked a boy in his life, he's so very fucking straight, I swear.

So Manjoume is a bisexual disaster (and in my headcanon he prefers boys, actually, the Asuka incident is the biggest example of denial™ ever. He prefers Fubuki, fight me over this). The problem is that he never really considered he might be crushing on Judai, but at the same time admitting to maybe liking boys too means that there was more to wanting to stay at DA, to hanging out with Judai's crew despite their mutual dislike, to his continuous playful headlocks and ear pulling. To add onto that, there is probably a certain amount of guilt over having betrayed that bond with Judai by trying to throw away his cards and everything. Judai, on the other hand... is confused at how bothered he is by the public declarations of love, because Manjoume is his rival and rivals are supposed to focus on eachother, not on some girl, no matter how good said girl is at card games.

So maybe they are a bit gay for eachother. And maybe they just want excuses to be together as much as possible. And it's really just the vibe of highschool romance between two people who don't want to admit to caring for one another on a deeper level, but are also weirdly possessive of eachother for no apparent reason. And I think I'll stop here with my gay retelling, but really if you look at the two of them you do see that they do a lot for eachother's characters. It's kind of beautiful, really. They are the two socially inept characters who find comfort in someone being just like them and understanding them as they change and grow up.

I have a lot to say about how that changes once the transfer students come in, but I think I've bored everyone for long enough- as in nobody will read this lol. That's ok. I thank you again for the ask and for allowing me to gush about this ship that is so close to my heart. If anyone ever wants to talk about them, just. Do. Break into my house at night and I still won't mind, I just want to talk about them.

[awanderingdeal]

Never too late - 4 - 5

A continuation of Leo and Regulus' attempts (antics) to give Regulus the childhood he never had.

CW: All content warnings relate to Part 5: piercings and food talk

Please message me if you feel I need to add any content warnings

Rating: T

Previous and future chapters can be found on my masterlist

Credit for the sweater universe and the characters within it go to @lumosinlove. What a hero.

4. Take photos! Candids, selfies and posed group shots. They’ll hold the best memories.

“Merde, what are you doing?” Logan asked, resting his head on Leo's shoulder as he peered at the laptop.

Leo grinned, tipping his head back slightly so he could press a kiss against Logan’s cheek, “I’m getting inspiration.”

“That cleared a grand total of nothing up,” Logan huffed, circling the sofa so that he could flop next to Leo. “Oh my God, no. I thought I had deleted everything from back then” he groaned, reaching to close the lid of the device.

Leo swatted his hand away with a scowl. “First of all, I am offended that you never told me that you used to have bangs,” he gestured to the image of a young Logan on the screen, laughter bubbling in chest. “Second, I think you may have caught most yours, but you failed to check your tagged photos.”

Logan sighed again, apparently resigning himself to the fact Leo was going to trawl through the photos no matter what. “Is there at least a reason that you are torturing me like this?” he asked, curling into Leo’s side.

“It started off as me finding inspiration for classic high school photos to take with Reg, but now I’m just looking at how adorable you were at 14.” Leo chuckled.

***

“I want to be on the top!” James yelled, earning a snigger from Finn.

“No, Logan needs to go on the top, he’s the smallest and I’m not breaking my back for you idiots,” Kasey said from where he was braced on all fours.

“He’s actually very heavy. Like a tiny ball of muscle,” Finn said. Logan seemed conflicted as to whether he should be thanking his boyfriend or reprimanding him, the confused frown making Leo smile, but he figured he should intervene before a full on argument broke out.

“Maybe we should ask Regulus where he wants to go? These are his photos after all,” Leo suggested, turning his gaze onto the man in question.

Regulus threw his hands up, shaking his head. “I was coerced into this madness,” he defended. “But if I must participate then I want to go on top. At least then I don’t get squashed when this goes wrong.”

“O, yee of little faith,” Thomas scoffed, making a dramatic show of stretching his limbs.

“I’m retiring after this season, I’m too old for this,” Dumo groaned as he joined Kasey on the floor.

“You say this every season,” Kuny laughed, taking the spot next to Pascal and nudging him in the shoulder.

“Alright, Cap. I think you better go on the base too,” Leo said, laughing at the scowl he earned. It appeared that Sirius had been trying to make himself blend into the cushions in the hopes he might get out of the photo, but Leo wasn’t about to let him off that easily. “For Reg?”

“Regulus doesn’t even…” Sirius began to argue, but he was interrupted by his brother’s low chuckle.

“I have suddenly changed my mind. Come on Sirius, don’t be a spoil sport,” Regulus teased.

Sirius opened his mouth to start a rebuttal, but all that came out was a resigned sigh, and the man heaved himself to his feet, getting a loud cheer from the rest of the team. Once he had taken his spot, the rest of the pyramid seemed to form easily. James, Remus, Leo, Logan and Finn all climbed on, until eventually it was Regulus’s turn. With a little help from Timmy and Olli, the man managed to take his place at the top of the pyramid.

“Okay, Sergei, take the photo,” Leo instructed, feeling parts of the pyramid begin to shake.

“Which button is -” Sergei asked, before a semblance of a smile crossed his face. “Oh, found it.” Just as the words left Sergei’s mouth, Leo found himself tumbling to the floor, several of his team mates on top of him, a chorus of grumbling in several different languages erupting as they clutched various body parts.

“If anybody has broken anything, I am not explaining this to Coach,” Sirius declared, from under James and Finn.

“Did you at least get the photo?” Dumo asked.

“No, we need to do again,” Sergei grinned, a groan reverberating around the room from the rest of the team.

***

Regulus wiped his hand across his cheek so subtly that he nearly missed it, but the redness in his eyes was obvious.

“Are you crying?” Leo asked quietly, feeling the muscles 0f his forehead tense into a concerned frown.

“I’m fine,” Regulus said, blinking rapidly, shutting the scrapbook perched on his lap with a little more force than necessary. Leo had spent hours compiling the photos taken over the last few months into it: the forming a pyramid, two dozen or so polaroids taken at various events, a fair few with peace signs; the transition of Regulus slowly becoming more comfortable with the action obvious with each one, another was a take on the classic shoe circle only with hockey skates. Somehow James had snuck several selfies of himself into the mix.

“No, Reggie, what’s the matter?” Leo pulled the book from Regulus’s hands and put it on the coffee table, turning so that he could face his friend more easily.

Regulus shrugged, playing with the sleeve of his shirt, a nervous habit Leo had picked up on over the past few months. “I...I just never really had any friends in high school. It’s kind of hard when you’re taught to see everybody as competition, you know? So, I don’t really have any photos that aren’t stuffy family portraits or media shots. I didn’t realise that bothered me until now.”

Leo bundled Regulus into a hug, his friend making a disgruntled sound as he found himself pressed against Leo’s chest. “Just accept it,” Leo huffed, wondering how he had managed to find himself saddled with so many emotionally constipated hockey (or ex-hockey) players.

5. Find your style - change your hair, get a new piercing, buy a new outfit. Go wild!

“Hey, Reg,” Finn waved, mumbling through a mouthful of cheese.

“Harzy! Do you know how much that cheese cost?” Logan scolded, his expression somewhat more horrified than Leo would deem reasonable, “Please respect it.”

Leo grabbed his jacket, patting the pocket to ensure his wallet was inside. He rarely used his physical cards anymore, but it gave him far too much anxiety to rely on just his phone. “We’re leaving now. Try not to kill each other while we’re gone. It would be tragic to lose both of my boyfriends in one day,” he said, dropping a kiss first on to Finn’s cheek and then Logan’s.

“Bye Reg,” Finn waved again.

***

“Thank you,” Leo smiled at the cashier as he took his purchases from them. He looked down, noting that between the two of them they had amassed nearly twenty bags. Leo wasn’t usually one to spend money frivolously, but he had found himself swept away by Reg’s enthusiasm. Apparently when he wasn’t being stuffed into tight button ups and tailored pants, Regulus really rather enjoyed fashion. Finn would have been proud of the multiple pairs of trainers they had acquired so far. Still, they probably had enough for today.

Before Leo had a chance to suggest a change of activities, Regulus beat him to it. “Do you want to get some food?” he asked, the grumble of Leo’s stomach answering the question with no need for any words. Regulus laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes. Are you good to get Thai?”

Somehow over the course of filling their stomachs with curry and Pad Thai, an innocent comment about how Regulus would look cute with a piercing resulted in them walking into the nearest studio that had decent reviews. Regulus had changed into one of his new outfits: a loose black and white striped shirt, a pair of black pants cuffed at the legs and chunky white sneakers because his old outfit was deemed unsuitable for getting a piercing in.

Leo had just finished up getting his lip done, pamphlet of aftercare instructions clutched in his hand, and was waiting for Regulus to come out of his room. The boy had refused to tell him what exactly he was going to get done, and the anticipation was killing him. A few minutes later, Regulus pushed out the door to the small room and Leo’s eye was immediately drawn to the light catching Regulus’ eyebrow.

“Oh my God!” Leo exclaimed, wincing as the movement sent a surge of pain through his lip. “You look so good,” he added, moving to inspect the barbell peeking through Regulus’ brow.

“Thanks,” Regulus blushed at the approval. “Yours is cool too. Logan and Finn are going to freak out.”

“They sure are,” Leo chuckled. “Alright, I’ll settle this and then I’ll drop you back home?”

***

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Regulus scowled, reading the instructions on the back of the box of dye for what Leo was sure was the fiftieth time.

“I told you, you haven’t been a teenager unless you have made some questionable fashion choices,” Leo countered. “Except I’m going to look amazing with blue hair so it’s not really questionable.”

“Well, it can’t be worse than this anyway, right?” Regulus grimaced, gesturing to his bleached blond hair.

“Noughties boy band members would be jealous,” Leo laughed.

“It’s a shame it is neither the noughties anymore, nor am I a boy band member,” Regulus replied, shoving the box into Leo’s hands. “Just do it.”

A little over an hour later, Leo was nudging Reg in front of the mirror. “Okay, this was definitely not a mistake! We look amazing. I am taking up a career in hairdressing if I get injured,” Leo declared, holding his hand out for a high five. Whilst Regulus did return it, it was less enthusiastic than Leo had been going for. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I like it,” Regulus shook his head, dragging his fingers along the short sides. The cut wasn’t that different to what it had been before, other than a slightly more dramatic fade. “Just feels weird. My parents would die if they could see me.”

“Well, I think we look badass,” Leo said, running his hand through his own blue hair. He’d left the front long and floppy, deciding to go wild and undercut the back. “Come here, let me take a photo.”

Leo was glad that Regulus had finally learned that while he was not one to throw a tantrum, he did have his ways of getting what he wanted and it was easier for everyone if Regulus just compiled most of the time. The post had barely been up on their Instagram pages for more than 3 minutes when Leo’s phone began to vibrate, Logan’s flashing onto the screen.

“Regulus! Why did my little brother just call to tell me that he wants to dye his hair blue?” Remus yelled up the stairs as Leo picked the call up.

And if drug stores all over the country sold out of blue hair dye the next day? Well, Leo guessed there were worse trends to have started.

[kiribaku-queen]

Unexpected [4/8]

Pairing: Dabi x reader, Hawks x reader, Touya x reader

Fluff, angst, AU

Word count: 4.1K

A/N: Happy Monday! I already have a new idea for the next series and I literally can’t wait to share it with you guys! But I really need to finish writing this series before thinking about anything else! I would love to know your thoughts so far and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Summary: Being quirkless wasn’t so bad. Especially when you had two badass best friends that had amazing quriks to make up for it. That is until one of them breaks your heart by disappearing in thin air. And the other breaks your heart by wanting to focus on his hero work. After coming back to Japan after studying abroad for 5 years, you were in for a whirlwind of surprises.

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

You sat in the chair for what seemed like hours. Still staying in the same position: arms and feet tied to the chair. The only thing that was different was that they took off your blindfold and the cloth that was covering your mouth. But it was dead silent in the room. You had the opportunity to look at each person in the room.

First, it was that guy that took the blindfold off you. He was casually leaning against the cold, hard, brick wall, eyes glued to the floor. Occasionally, he would glance up at you but other than that, he didn’t do or say much. Then there was a creepy guy sitting at the bar with a hand covering his face. God, you could feel the hairs on your arms stand up in fear. Could he even see behind that hand? Behind the bar, a guy? A guy or figure that had a dark purple mist around him and beaming yellow things for eyes stood. You had no idea what he was. But, at least he had a good sense of style out of everyone here. It was odd that he was the only one wearing a suit.

On the left side of the room, stood a blonde-haired girl with buns in her hair. She wore a school outfit. A high schooler? She didn’t look like she was also kidnapped. Why was she involved in this type of crime at her age? Next to her was a guy who looked like a spiderman wannabe. Colors were off and dull, but same concept. Maybe he was just inspired? And finally, leaning against the doorframe of the only hallway in sight, a lizard-like man. He had his arms crossed against his chest, eyes looking like they wanted to kill. You couldn’t help think if you were going to get out of here alive.

“I guess he’s not coming. What now, Tomura,” the girl with buns asks lazily, looking over at their leader. He grunts and starts to scratch his neck in a violent matter. The sound of his dull nails itching at his skin made you physically cringe.

“What do we do? The plan won’t work if he doesn’t show up,” he talks to himself. The scratching was getting more violent and louder by the second. You couldn’t bare to listen anymore.

“He’ll show up,” you said aloud. That grabbed everyone’s attention. It even shocked you. Shit, why did you have to say anything at all. Now everyone had their eyes on you. You bit your lower lip out of nervousness, anxiously waiting what they were going to say, or even worse, do to you. You saw movement out of the corner of your eye. Looking in that direction, you saw the guy with bruises all over him push himself off the wall. He was coming towards you.

“Yeah? How do you know that for sure?” he asks, almost in a joking way. You gained a bit of confidence to challenge him.

“Because he…” but you paused. Because he loved you? Would you even call it that? The man smirked. He walks up behind you and whispers in your ear, like he was reading your mind.

“…loves you?” he started to laugh. “Look around, doll. If he loved you, he’d be here by now to rescue you.” Was it that simple? You’ve never been kidnapped before? How long does it usually take for pro-heroes to save people? You started to get fidgety. All Might saved his student from the League of Villains within a day or two. Did you have to wait a few days? Would you even survive that long? “I don’t think your little boyfriend loves you, he’s not even here.” He continued to taunt you. But it was working. You started to believe in his words. You started to lose hope that Hawks was going to come save you.

“If you’re so sure he’s not coming, then what should we do. Kill her?” Shigaraki said that so nonchalantly.

“Tomura, let me! I miss the sight of blood,” the high schooler spoke up, looking all excited. She took out a sharp utensil and caressed it with the utmost care. Before she could take another step towards you, the tall man behind you, well now in front of you, stops her.

“Just keep her captive. If we kill her, he won’t show up. Don’t kill her, he shows up, we’ll get what we want,” he explains like it was common sense. The room was silent. No objections anywhere. It was either that they agreed with the plan or they just didn’t care. Whatever, because you were saved to live a bit longer. “Spinner, take her to the basement.”

Spinner gets up from his place and roughly grabs your arms. Without saying anything to you, he’s already dragging you to the hallway and down some stairs to the basement. While he was dragging you there in a very forceful manner, you couldn’t help but look back at that man. You couldn’t help but think of Touya.

The basement was cold. Nothing but concrete and metal all around. Your room was no different. Concrete floor with metal-like walls. It looked like a prison cell but more spacious. The only thing in the room was a bed and a desk with a chair. You were even surprised they kept you in such a nice room for a hostage. As soon as Spinner put you in that room and closed the room, tears immediately streamed down your face. And they wouldn’t stop. They couldn’t. What kind of situation were you in right now? How did you get put in this situation? Out of everyone, it had to be you. How unlucky…

You slowly walked to the bed and sat down. You felt like your life just ended. And what’s even worse, it was so fucking cold in this damn room! A knock was placed on your door. The sound rang throughout the room, causing you to jump and look at the door. The door opened and revealed the dark haired man with scars all over. Initial confusion was written on your face because why is he here? But then you quickly turned around, back facing him. You didn’t want to see anybody. And no matter how much he reminded you of your childhood friend, he was still a villain. They still kidnapped you and brought you were against your will.

Dabi entered your room with a blanket in hand. He knew it was cold down here. Hell, they never brought anyone down here because they never had any hostages stay this long. He extended his hand, offering the blanket to you.

“Here. Thought you might need it. Don’t want you freezing to death.” He stated. No reply from you. You couldn’t even look at him. That didn’t faze him at all though. You didn’t take the blanket? Fine. He tossed it on the bed behind you and was about to leave you alone. But he stared at you for a while longer. You heard his retreating footsteps and thought he had left. So you turned around to grab the blanket, only to see him staring at your every move. You made eye contact with him and every time you did that, your mind just gets lost in those familiar blue eyes. Dabi doesn’t say anything when you turn around. Instead, he finally walks out the door. When you hear the door click shut, you grabbed the blanket and fully laid out on the bed. And cried. You were like that the next day. And the day after that. You felt so alone and trapped in this small cell space. All you wanted was to go home. And you never thought you would say that so desperately. The basement was still cold. But you were… a little bit thankful that he brought down this extra blanket. Without it, you probably would have frozen your toes off.

When you think of the League of Villains, you think of terrible people. Hurting, attacking and killing others for their own enjoyment. You think of these scary people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. But were they really like that? You couldn’t help but question your entire mentality. Yes, you were intimidated and scared of these people when you were initially kidnapped. But they were nicer and more caring that you thought?

Every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner, one member of the League of Villains would bring you a plate of food. Depending on who brought you food, they would either leave it by the door for you to get whenever you want, or come inside your room and leave it by the desk. They didn’t even try to harm you. But maybe it was your imagination? Maybe they were forced to bring you food and they weren’t doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. Whatever the reason, you refused to eat any of it. You couldn’t stomach the fact that they might have poisoned it or did something with your food. No matter how delicious the food looked or how amazing it smelled, you didn’t want to eat. Either put you through torture like how villains usually are, or be nice and let you go. Like pick one! They were so bipolar in their actions.

You heard the door creak open. Was it time for lunch already? You heard someone place your food on the desk like always and you were expecting them to leave. Like always. But no. You also heard the chair come out from under the desk and someone sat in it. This left you confused and a little scared. You took a peak over your shoulder to look at the food. God it looked amazing. Like a home cooked meal. Then you looked a tad higher to come face-to-face with the same man who gave you the blanket.

“You should eat. You’re going to die if you don’t eat,” he comments. You scoff. Always talking about dying. Is there nothing else for a villain to talk about? Yet, you don’t move from your spot. The food did look tempting but you were going to keep strong and refuse their food. You heard him sigh. “Then you leave me no choice.” He scoots the chair closer enough that it’s touching the bed side and grabs the bowl of soup that was on the tray. He picks up the spoon, dips it in the soup and reaches out to you. “I’ll just have to feed you.” You look at him and then at the spoon.

“I can do it myself,” you mutter and turn your head away from him again.

“Then do it,” he demanded, but in a soft, gentle tone. Your stomach was growling and you knew he wouldn’t leave until you ate a bit of the food. So, you grabbed the spoon from his hand and started drinking the soup. The warmness of the soup traveled down your throat, leaving a nice, burning sensation. It immediately warmed you up and you went in for another bite. This time, admiring the taste. For being captured, they sure were feeding you well. Upon seeing how well you were eating, Dabi continued to watch you eat. He wanted to make sure you ate everything. You knew he was staring at you. Every time you looked up, he was looking right back at you. You couldn’t stare right back at him so you continued to eat your food in silence. Damn those blue eyes. The more you looked at him, the more you were convincing yourself that it was him. But you knew it wasn’t.

You were finishing up your last bit of food. When you had your last bite and put the spoon down, you let out a puff of satisfaction because you hadn’t eaten anything for days. You were happily satisfied. At least your stomach was. You looked up. He was leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees. He had a smirk on his face. He reached his hand out and before you had time to react to what he was doing, he pats your hair. Once. Twice. And tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. That’s when you knew.

“Touya?” you called out his name in a voice so weak, that was longing out for him. All he did was smirk. He grabbed the tray of empty dishes and walked out. Right before he could leave, he stops in his tracks.

“You’re free to roam around. It doesn’t look like you’re leaving anytime soon. Don’t try to escape though. We got eyes on you at all times,” he informs you and leaves without another word, leaving you perplexed. He neither agreed or denied the fact that he was Touya. But you were more confident than ever in your answer. Now all that’s left is all these questions. How? Why? When? Everything you thought about Touya, about his disappearance and what he was doing now was altered to this twisted reality. A reality that you couldn’t believe. But it was somewhat relieving to know that he was alive. And doing well? If you would call it that.

He said that you were free to roam around. It sounded tempting. Afterall, you were tired of your room. It was stuffy inside and it started getting claustrophobic. And you had no idea where you were. You would like to know, at least, your surroundings and what you were dealing with. But you were stuck at the door. If you left and walked through those doors, what would be waiting out there for you? Would there by villains waiting to attack? Would they harass you? Was it even worth looking around just to stretch your legs? You were scared. You were paranoid. But who wouldn’t be in this situation? You kept debating if you really wanted to leave or not. One moment, you gathered enough courage, but as soon as you touched that doorknob, you were cowering back to your bed.

You didn’t have windows but you were getting pretty good at telling the time, despite not knowing how dark or light it was outside. You decided to wait until it was the middle of the night to go out and explore, where you knew very little people would be out. Or at least you hoped. When you deemed that it was safe enough, you finally cracked open your prison cell. You peeked your head out, cautious for anyone that was around. Because once you heard someone come your way, you were going back straight to your safe space. But it was quiet. And dark. Thank god. You sighed a sigh of relief and fully opened your door. You were more likely to get caught if you didn’t leave without a mission. So, you decided to look around all while trying to get a snack and you would immediately retreat back to your room.

You slowly and stealthily moved up the stairs. No one was around. God, your heart was racing. You made it to the top of the stairs no problem and entered a familiar room. It was the bar area where you first woke up to and all those villains were surrounding you. Chills ran up your spine just thinking about it. Now wasn’t the time to reminisce about that. You were on a mission to find food!

The room had a full bar. There has to be at least something there you could bring back to your room. Alcohol, sure. But there was no point in getting drunk. You searched and searched but to no avail. There was no food at the bar. But you didn’t want to search more of the place. You had a gut feeling you were going to get caught. So you decided to just take a water bottle from the mini fridge and call it a day. You were walking down the hallway and almost made it to the stairs when you froze. Completely froze. You broke out in cold sweat and you swore your heart could leap out at any moment. A villain. A villain was right in front of you. It was that spiderman wannabe. He, too, froze in his spot, looking straight at you. Shit! What were you going to do now? You were so close to not being caught but look at you now. Stupid, you should have never left your room. As you were mentally cursing and fighting with yourself, the villain brought his hand up and you braced yourself for the worst.

“Cookie?” he asks. You look at the item in his hand and it was an individually wrapped cookie. You kind of just stared at the snack, not believing your ears. Was this a dream? A villain was offering you a snack? Was he not going to hurt you? The villain lifted his hand a bit, letting you know that you could take the snack. You did and bowed a bit to him.

“Thank you,” you softly say. He just nods his head to acknowledge you and walks past you, whistling a tune like no one was there. As soon as he past you, you darted down the stairs and ran to your room. You slammed the door and slid down as your legs gave way. Your whole body was shaking in fear and you felt so weak. You were so scared and shook so much that you just cried. It might have been a nice encounter now but who knows what would have happened if it was somebody else. They probably wouldn’t have been as nice. They could have killed you on the spot for all you know.

Leaving your room for the first time was the hard part. But, day by day, you got more confidence to leave your room. You even left your room during the day. Sure, it was uncomfortable at first and you retreated back to your room a lot of the time, but they never did anything to you. They didn’t really pay any mind to you. They saw you. And went about their own business. Although, with that being said, you could still feel their eyes on you at all times. The villains might not talk to you or necessarily follow you around, but they were keeping an eye on you. Just in case you did something that threatens them. Some of them came and went. You were guessing to do some villainish activities. But, they lived like normal people to you. You saw some play video games, one looked like she was doing school work, and the others were just hanging out. It was a sight that you wouldn’t expect from the most wanted villain group in the country.

It was dark out, you assumed. Everyone had their fair share of dinner and was going to their own rooms. As for you, you were also headed back to your room in the basement, when you saw a certain someone out of the corner of your eye. While everyone else was headed up the stairs to their rooms, he was going up a metal ladder. One that you didn’t even notice that was there. Out of all the villains present, he was the one who didn’t scare you. It was actually the opposite. So, out of curiosity, you followed him up the ladder.

The ladder led right to the rooftop where he was laying down, looking at the sky. You poked your head through the hole and was shocked to reveal the outside world. The cool, night breeze hit you by surprise but it was refreshing. It’s been so long since you got a bit of fresh air and you weren’t going to lie, if you could jump off this building to get your freedom back, you would.

“Don’t even think about it, Doll,” he suddenly said. You snapped your head in his direction. He was still looking up at the sky with his hand comfortably resting behind his head. “If you try to run, I can easily catch you.” Yeah, you knew that. No matter how much of a desire to run away you had, you already knew the outcome a mile away. Yet, you were a little shocked that he read your mind so easily. This caused you to become a little embarrassed and you just stood there on the ladder. Sensing that you were still at the entrance to the rooftop, he glances at you and then at the empty spot next to him. Did he want you to sit with him? Hesitant, but you made your way to lay down next to him.

It was silent. For a long while, neither of you spoke. You took glances once in a while at the man beside you. You wanted to ask him about his true identity so bad, but you were nervous for some reason. So you continued to look at the stars to calm you down. The way the stars blinked bright in the sky calmed your beating heart and cleared your head. Then you finally gathered the courage.

“Touya?” you called out his name and glanced up at him. Finally, he looked at you, his face expressionless. “It’s you, isn’t it Touya?” You were begging for it to be true. He looks back up with a soft smile.

“I go by Dabi now,” he says. So you were right. But Dabi?

“I don’t like that name,” you comment without thinking. Your face scrunches up in regret, but Dabi chuckles at your action.

“Always one to speak with whatever comes to mind. You haven’t changed one bit.” He comments. But you frown.

“Yeah, but you have. What happened?” you ask softly, genuine concern could be heard in your voice. You flipped over on your stomach to face him better. It takes him a while to say anything. He was thinking of where to even start and how to say it.

“My father happened.” He starts. That leaves you confused. How did his father, pro-hero Endeavor, cause his downfall? What could he have possibly done to make Touya like this? “He was so obsessed with raising the perfect son who would surpass All Might. But you know my quirk. My flames are too hot for my body to handle. But he didn’t care. He trained me and pushed me to my limits until I was literally burning myself.” Dabi lifted his arms and showed off the purple burns. Subconsciously, you also touched them and he let you. You caressed his arms, softly letting your fingers run over the rough edges of his burn.

“I always loved your quirk,” you whispered as you played with his fingers. You felt saddened by his story. All of this was happening behind the scenes. And you didn’t know anything. You were his best friend yet you were kept in the dark. If you had known this was happening, you were sure you would have done something. It didn’t matter if you were young. If you did something, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have turned into a villain. “So when you came to school with those bandages, that was when…” you couldn’t bare to finish that sentence.

“Yeah…” you didn’t have to say the rest for him to understand. “I hated myself for yelling at you that day. But I hated my old man even more for making me like that. I swore to myself that I would get revenge. And that’s when I met Stain. He believed in purging this society of false heroes. My father was no hero. What better way to get my revenge by joining the greatest villain alive and get rid of a father that doesn’t deserve to be a hero?” His eyes lit up when he talked about his hero, Stain. All that caused him to join the villains. Your eyebrows furrowed deeper the more you hear his story. But words couldn’t explain the pain you felt in your heart. There was a rollercoaster of emotions but you felt all the emotions he was feeling.

“We all thought you were dead.”

“I ran away. They covered it up by saying that I was dead. But they probably didn’t even care to search for me.” Your heart broke when he said that. None of it was true. You couldn’t say for his family, but you searched for him. You waited outside his house for days just to get a glimpse of him to see if he was okay. You cared for him. And you needed to show him that you cared. Right now, Dabi might look like he was okay but deep down, he was hurting. He hasn’t healed from all the pain and torture he went through. There was only one way to show him that you still cared. You grabbed his face to look at you and connected your lips in hopes to heal the pain that he was feeling in his heart.

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @ditu-m9 @snuckerfrcnicken @flowersgirl02 @complicatedharry @seikamuzu @elsasshole @sugarandsoft @lysawayne @bestgirlkonan

[jasontoddiefor]

HMM WATCHA SAAAAY Chapter 5

Kix was incredibly thankful that Master Che – Call me Vokara, Kix – had given him unrestrained access to the Halls of Healing. While it had been necessary for his research, learning more about physical therapy as a whole, it also came with the great bonus of access to the pills that made your mind clear up a little after crashing. It was supposed to be taken after long shifts, but Kix had gathered that it was usually given to anybody in a less fortunate state of mind that needed to get a clear head, such as Senior Padawans who had been out all night in the Lower levels and had a mission on the next day.

The last week had been hellish between accumulating whatever insights they could get from General Skywalker on his and trying to put together a physical therapy program for somebody who should be as healthy as a bantha. The fact that the Council had called upon them for the final report and Kix as the head researcher was supposed to lay out their findings was also not the highlight of this week.

“Medic Kix,” one of the Council members greeted him. “Master Che, Master Erin, Medic Coric, thank you for taking the time to present us your findings.”

Most Council members were off-world again already so the circle in front of him wasn’t particularly large. Kix wished that General Kenobi would be here at least, but he and the 212th had to be called back to battle. The 501st was to follow soon, but whether their General could come with them relied on Kix’s report. He had sworn not embellish anything, to pretend his General was better off than he appeared to be, but he was tempted to do so. He couldn’t help it, he didn’t want to go anywhere without knowing that his General had his back. He didn’t mind working with another Jedi, they were all equally kind and good, but they weren’t Anakin Skywalker.

And Kix would rather have Anakin, exhausted and terrified out of his mind, with him, than a stranger, no matter how kind.

“It is of no trouble, Master Jedi,” Kix replied.

This was another thing Kix had noticed during his stay at the temple. The Jedi refused to use military titles for themselves inside of it. They were Masters, Healers, Knights Padawans – but they were not Generals or Commanders. Kix and his brothers, of course, got addressed by their proper titles, spoken with honor and an edge of regret, but that was it.

“You have been taking care of Anakin from the beginning?” General Koon asked.

Kix liked Plo Koon. The Kel Door took good care of the men under his command and he was always ready to make sure Kix’s little Commander was in good fighting shape when she was in his care.

“Yes,” Kix replied. “Coric and I were the ones who oversaw the General’s transport back to the ship and then consequently watched over him for the week he was comatose.”

“Were the injuries he gained in the battle so severe?”

Kix shook his head. “No, not at all. It was an easy campaign all in all.”

“From my understanding of the events, as Kix elaborated them, Knight Skywalker experienced an immense shock when he was hit by the vision,” Vokara explained. “Consequently, he was disorientated and must have experienced sensory overload. His collapse was his body’s attempt at shutting him down to give himself time to deal with the onslaught of memories and unfamiliarity of his body.”

When they had attempted to figure out why muscle memory alone wasn’t keeping Anakin upright, Vokara had brought up pieces of Jedi philosophy so far unknown to Kix. Jedi viewed bodies as conduits of the Force. Only in a healthy body could rest a healthy mind and only a healthy mind could access the Force. It was the reason that Anakin’s one prosthetic was already viewed with so much heartbreak. Kix supposed it made everything that came after only worse.

“Can Skywalker be sent back with the 501st?” Master Koon continued, directly cutting to the most difficult part.

“Under normal circumstances, I’d say no. I don’t think he should ever actually handle combat at all again. While physically he will be back on top of his game within a few weeks, if not surpass it still, I cannot condone such an action when taking his mental health into account.”

While the Jedi all tried to keep a neutral expression, Kix had been trained to deal with the most stubborn no-I’m-not-injured-I-promise brothers and I-can-hold-off-an-army-on-my-own Jedi and he could easily spot when somebody was starting to slip. The Jedi were surprised, not at the latter aspect, it was clear as day that the General was far from possessing a healthy mind, they wondered about his strength.

“Councilors, if I may suggest, I believe it would be best if we started with our report now,” Kix inserted. “It will answer a lot of questions as to Master Skywalker’s precise condition.”

He wondered if he was already crossing lines, trying to make it all out to be better than it was just by taking their attention away from how the General was right now instead of how he could be, had been.

“Proceed you may,” Master Yoda said grimly.

Hearing how much stronger their enemy was, how he was luring them all towards their death, must have greatly disturbed the old Master. Kix thought of the old clones back on Kamino, those who hadn’t made it to the front lines and watched the Shinies instead. And he thought of the war veterans, those who had been on Geonosis. They all had the same look in their eyes when they assigned the should-be-still-cadets to the frontlines. The sadness for being responsible for the deaths of so many young lives, it was not easy to bear.

“Three months ago, in the aftermath of a campaign, Knight Anakin Skywalker collapsed,” Kix began to say, his eyes not even flickering to the text on the datapad he was holding. “He froze, then Force-pushed the nearest troopers away from him and lost consciousness. He had no visible injuries and was brought to the medbay for further examination. After twenty-four hours, he woke for the first time. He reacted with similar panic and it took multiple sedations as well as Master Obi-Wan Kenobi using a Force-suggestion to put him to sleep again. This manner continued for another five days.”

Those five days had been some of the worst Kix had to experience during the entire war so far. Coric and he had run themselves ragged to keep an eye on their General, never mind how exhausted Master Kenobi had been after staying awake for so long.

“He was catatonic when he woke up after this time period. Even while awake, he didn’t react to anything. He needed a breathing machine and we fed him intravenously. He snapped out of it after another three days…”

Kix trailed off. When they had discussed how they would present their findings, they had decided that Kix would speak of all events he had been there to witness with Vokara contributing the Jedi perspective. Bant and Coric didn’t actually need to be present for this, but they had all worked through this report together, they should do this together as well.

“As, at the time, no professional mind healer could make it to the 501st-“ Vokara’s voice was professionally cold, but after all these evenings spend in her office or apartment, Kix could hear the bitterness that was seeping into it. “Master Kenobi decided to take it upon himself to help Skywalker’s splintered mind. He was successful, though I believe that is largely due to the bond the two share and want it noted on Master Kenobi’s file that he is herby prohibited from attempting to do the same with any other Jedi. It could have backfired incredibly easily and then we would have lost two Jedi instead of one.”

The Council nodded in agreement and Vokara quickly swiped away their open report to replace it with her file on General Kenobi. She added a small note there, then changed the documents once more.

“When Master Skywalker finally properly woke up then, he was still confused and disorientated. It took a full day before he could breathe and speak on his own, both aftereffects of what he experienced in his vision,” Kix continued.

The General’s hoarse words had been difficult to understand. For one because it had felt like he hadn’t known how to string them together properly, on the other because of the low volume. The General was always loud which made it easy to spot him in a crowd. To hear him speak so silently was the first sign that something had been wrong.

“I have so far classified his experience as a new type of vision,” Vokara explained. “Our research on temporal physics is limited, I do not know if his claims of time travel are accurate, but it was certainly no normal vision. Not even Master Sifo-Dyas had experienced a vision as such. Skywalker has experienced twenty years’ worth of memories, hence his body being uncomfortable to him.”

“Forgive me my question,” Shaak Ti said. “But from the brief account Master Kenobi gave us, I had gathered that Skywalker was experiencing something more akin to body dysphoria than merely feeling uncomfortable.”

“That would be correct,” Vokara retorted and then sighed in defeat. “Or as correct as it can be. I will be honest, we are missing terminology to properly definite Skywalker’s condition. To put it simply, Skywalker is hardly used to having a body. From his account, and what we have gathered based on physical reactions, Skywalker spent twenty years with about 65% of his body having been replaced. In other words, only 35% of himself was still organic.”

“What!?” The hiss of one of the Councilors rang like an accusation through the room.

Horror, shock and nausea washed through the air so strongly that even Kix could feel it, be it though that he wasn’t even the slightest bit Force-sensitive. He understood their recoiling even without the pain that their understanding of life and the Force brought them. He half-expected the windows to crack under the might of their outrage, used to such displays from his General.

“He had lost both his legs as well as his remaining arm. It is the reason Master Skywalker spend the first days after his awakening in a wheelchair, though he refused to use it for long. He had to relearn how to walk. His fine-motor control is also still lacking slightly, his current prosthetic arm being the one he has the best handling of. His digestive system was also severely damaged and barely anything remained from his lungs. He was dependent on intravenous feeding and a breathing machine that he could manually override, but only at great cost to himself. Additionally, to his lungs, his vocal tract was also damaged to the degree that he needed a vocoder to speak.”

“And how did he sustain those injuries in his vision?” Master Koon asked. He had his hands laying folded on his lap. No movement betrayed him, but Kix distinctly got the impression that he was attempting to hold himself back from doing something rash.

“We aren’t entirely sure. Master Skywalker has been reluctant to share how exactly he came to be injured in such a way,” Kix stated. Reluctant was the most diplomatic way of describing how haunted General Skywalker had looked when Kix had just alluded to the topic. He hadn’t shut down, but the expression on his face, utter terror bathed in fear, had been enough. “The event must have been highly traumatic and evidence points towards him being burned alive, likely while he was completely conscious for it. He mentioned needed skin grafts on multiple occasions and is extremely uncomfortable around fire.”

Kix felt a little like he was betraying his General by sharing such information behind his back. Of course, Skywalker had been made aware that there would be an extensive report on his condition, but he likely thought it was just about his capability to return to the battlefield. The General didn’t seem to really consider that his mental health mattered as well. Kix was not one of the medics particularly schooled in psychiatry, Coric had started looking more into it and so he and Master Erin had been the one to draft a psychological profile on Skywalker, based on what they knew about his future-past.

They hadn’t gathered much yet, but that part of their report was about as pretty as the rest.

“And he lived with all those injuries for twenty years?” The hopeful disbelief, the want for it all to be a lie, was apparent.

Jedi were not in the habit of being in denial, speaking the harsh truths the senators seldom wanted to hear, but that didn’t mean that they wanted to accept it all.

“A little more, actually,” Kix was forced to admit. “I believe it was around twenty-five. He had made references to such years existing. The cause of his own death is unknown as well, though it was possibly the result of his failing health.”

“And, additionally, we have been led to believe that he spent most of those years being extensively tortured by the Sith Lord keeping him.”

“Master Kenobi had already mentioned so,” Plo Koon said.

Kix nodded slowly. He wished General Kenobi would be here now, listening to them give the report instead of reading it on his own onboard the Negotiator. The paper they had written was clinical, factual, but Kix had long since realized that there was a time and place for hard facts and gentle truths.

“I am aware, but Master Kenobi is not aware of the extent we believe this torture to have reached. Skywalker has mentioned Sith Lightning and apparently knows how to disperse it within the body instead of just bearing it and survive. This implies that he was exposed to it multiple times, likely not with the intention of killing him, and learned from those sessions.”

“How have you concluded all that?”

Kix and Vokara shared a look. Their report had already been all over the place, more a discussion than a systematic rundown of what looked like hell come alive.

“Perhaps, best we start at the beginning?” General Yoda spoke up.

The Master, though powerful he was, appeared so old now, almost frail like every gust of wind could swipe him away. And yet there was this determination in his eyes, the willingness and need to know what harm would come to them.

“That would be the easiest,” Vokara replied and began anew.

Kix had written this report, read it about a thousand times and repeated it to others as well. Its content was familiar to him, the words he knew by heart, and still, at times, he found himself caught off-guard. Worst was when Vokara, though she kept a distance to the topic at hand, would sometimes need to read a sentence twice. The two of them had seen gruesome injuries, Jedi and Brothers alike die of less than what General Skywalker had lived through.

Which was the precise reason why they needed to put him back on the battlefield.

“I am prejudiced in this,” Kix admitted freely, finally finishing. The sky had turned dark by now and he desperately needed to drink something. “I want my General at my back. However, there is also the matter that he survived all of this. I do not actually believe that we stop him from going out on his own should we attempt to keep him away from the fighting. He might even decide to face Sidious head-on, and we can’t allow that to happen.”

The Jedi looked troubled by his assessment and so Kix was not too surprised when they sent him and the other three out of the room to make their decision. Kix had done all he could at this point to protect his General.

He had done his job and fulfilled his duty.

Now he could only hope that it had been enough.

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly. 

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you." 

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue. 

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees. 

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life. 

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead. 

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while. 

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?" 

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust. 

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered. 

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees. 

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee. 

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation. 

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk. 

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy. 

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening. 

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless. 

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year. 

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence. 

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking. 

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator. 

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog. 

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand. 

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth. 

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?" 

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-." 

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled. 

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly. 

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing. 

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin. 

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless. 

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Bucky taglist: @loustan90

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

[riversofmars]

Oops forgot to post this on here last night when I updated lol. Hope you’re all happy with my choice of villain. And for those who don't know the Eleven/the Thirteen yet, you'll get to know them alongside the Paternoster gang as they're totally clueless themselves lol. So real hope you enjoy this next chapter, let's see where everyone is off to!

Chapter 8: Where We Started

Glasgow, 2021

Jack returned in no time at all, at least from the perspective of the team at Torchwood Two.

“You better be grateful, this took me all night and I’m starving!“ Jack announced after materialising in the centre of the room. He was crouching in between two dead bodies, holding on to a wrist each to pull them with him through the time vortex.

“Food is still warm.“ Mickey retorted and gave Jack a hand lifting the two men onto gurneys.

“What’s so significant about them?“ Ryan asked, stepping closer. There was no obvious cause of death. Both men were young, 20s, 30s maybe and looked healthy. There was no blood, no bullet holes…

“How did they die?“ Graham asked, noticing the same thing. “Who killed them?“

“We’re not quite sure on the who yet.“ One of the Osgoods answered, steppinganswered stepping up to the body on her right. She pulled a scanner from her lab coat pocket and ran it over the dead man’s chest.

“And not sure about theon the killing either.“ The other Osgood agreed as she stepped up to the other corps, mirroring her twin’s actions with a scanner of her own.

“Well, they are dead…“ Ryan couldn’t help but point out but by now he knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

“Yes, but we’re not entirely sure they meant to kill them…“ The second Osgood replied, frowning a little at the readings she was getting.

“What do you mean by that?“ Graham asked, looking around for answers. None of the others appeared surprised so he could only presume these were not the first two cases.

“These are not murders as such, we believe these are experiments gone wrong.“ Kate revealed and Ryan and Graham exchanged concerned glances.

“We’re just not sure to what end.“ Martha came to stand next to them.

“We’re not the first to notice.“ Kate carried on. It was time they filled them in properly. She had been worried about revealing too much back in Sheffield but they could talk freely now. “When dead bodies turn up, the police do tend to get involved.“

“That’s when people started disappearing from time, being erased.“ Jack concluded.

“For examining these murders?“ Ryan frowned, deeply concerned now.

“This is why we’re doing our best to keep off the radar.“ Gwen explained as they all gathered around now. “Someone is trying to cover this up and they’re using very advanced technology to do it. You can’t just erase people from time.“

“So far, whoever is behind this has not noticed our investigation.“ Kate stated, which wasn’t to say that they wouldn’t be found out eventually.  

“Or at least they have not found a way to erase us yet.“ Jack interjected, more grimly.

“Like I said previously, people who have had dealings with the Doctor, particularly those who have travelled with them, seem to be less affected.“ Kate continued to explain and one of the Osgoods added:

“By travelling in time, you become a temporal anomaly, a complex space time event. Much harder to erase than someone who has only existed in one time period.“

“I guess that makes sense…“ It didn’t make an awful lot of sense to Ryan but he chose to just accept it.

“Either way, we have to tread carefully. Someone is using humanity as guinea pigs.“ Kate crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“And we need to find out why.“ Jack nodded. “Now that we have two bodies, we might be able to do just that. And once we know what they want, we will stop them.“ His voice was full of determination.

“I will need a while to analyse.“ The Osgoods gave apologetic smiles, indicating they would like to be left in peace to do their work now.

“You best get some rest. We will have a lot of work to do soon.“ Kate smiled at Ryan and Graham who could hardly refuse the request. It had been a very long night already.

——

In orbit around the Library, 52nd Century

Paternoster Gang

“So this Thirteen person, is it possible they’re the one that took the child as well?“ Yaz asked, leaning onto the control desk as they digested the news. “They are a Time Lord, we found Time Lord technology at your house.“

“It would be an extraordinary coincidence if it wasn’t.“ Vastra agreed, she was pacing the room. Even though they had no idea what their motivations were, they had to assume the same person was behind both kidnappings. She knew nothing of the dealings either the Doctor or Professor Song had had with this particular Time Lord but she decided it didn't matter for the time being. What mattered was that they found River and her son. With any luck they were being taken to the same place. They could ask questions later.

“We need to find a way of following them.“ Jenny concluded, watching her wife pace. As much as they had hoped for a conversation with the Professor, for a chance to make their apologies and to promise to make amends, at least they had a trail to follow now.

“Did our sensors pick anything up on our approach? Any other ships in the vicinity? Someone heading away from the Library?“ Vastra asked, looking to Strax who started working the controls with military efficiency.

“We were too far out at the time. Nothing on long range sensors.“ Strax growled seemingly displeased with the efficiency of the scanners. “This wouldn’t have happened on a Sontaran warliner.“ He huffed.

“What about the Library? Do they not have any sensors or CCTV or something?“ Yaz asked as she thought back to her police training. If someone was kidnapped, looking for CCTV footage in the area would be the first step, surely.

“Excellent idea, Ms. Kahn!“ Vastra gave her a kind smile. “Mr. Maldovar, any suggestions as to how we might establish a more permanent link to the Library?“

“It’s a closed system, trying to keep out intruders, probably a defence mechanism…“ Dorium mused, putting his feelers out. What he lacked in physical mobility, he was making up for with technological know how.

“If not a video link, at least some means of data exchange?“ She gave him a kind smile. “I have every confidence in your abilities.“

“She means: see if you can hack the system.“ Jenny chuckled, recalling Dorium’s rather impressive work at Demon’s Run. It seemed as though all their expertise would be called upon at one point or another.

“I don’t suppose CAL would mind once she realises what you’re trying to do.“ Vastra carried on. “Perhaps if you started with a reassuring message for her. Would you maybe be able to get information about ships that approached or departed?“

“I shall certainly try.“ Dorium agreed, his tone gracious, but he hardly had to try at all. “Never mind, she’s ahead of us, she’s sending something across.“ Dorium looked up to the screen. “I believe we can extrapolate the course from this.“ A diagram appeared on screen, green dots outlining a route away from the planet.

“Bringing us around now.“ Strax announced as the computer worked out the course. “We shall hunt them down and shoot them out of the sky!“

“Not with Professor Song on board, we won’t.“ Vastra pointed out and Strax huffed displeased.

“Ready to jump into hyper speed.“ He grumbled in response.

“Hang on, CAL is sending some more data across.“ Dorium announced. “Just wait till… There we are, all done.“ He nodded and nearly fell out of his box doing so.

“What is it?“ Vastra asked as the ship jumped into faster-than-light travel and the stars blurred outside. They left the Library behind.  

“A file with everything the Library had to offer on the Thirteen and their previous incarnations, I’m sure that will make for exciting reading…“ Dorium almost sounded surprised.

“Clever girl!“ Jenny grinned.

“Perhaps we can learn who we are dealing with.“ Yaz felt a little better that they were all in the same boat. She wasn’t behind this time, they all had to start from scratch.

“Best to know your enemy.“ Strax grinned. “Give us the intel, head.“

——

The TARDIS

“Sorry, Doctor but I can’t take credit for that.“ The Master laughed at the look of surprise and disappointment on her face. She had hoped to get answers but there were none to be had.

“And you never will.“ It was a split second decision on the Doctor’s part as she pulled a gun from under the console.

She had always pretended she didn’t know where River had hidden her guns around the TARDIS but of course she did. She wasn’t quite sure why she had never stopped her doing it. Perhaps because she knew eventually, they would come in handy. River had borrowed the TARDIS plenty of times and if she ever got herself in a scrape, she didn’t want to leave her wife defenceless. While the TARDIS had redecorated since River had last been here, she had kept her guns where they belonged.

“Well, well, well Doctor.“ The Master smirked as she pointed the gun at him.

“Get out.“ She said.The weapon felt heavy and uncomfortable in her hand but that didn’t stop her. She couldn’t take the risk of the Master getting off Gallifrey. She had no way of knowing for sure whether he would be responsible for her son’s abduction in the future but she couldn’t take the risk. If it was the case, she would stop it here. She gestured to the door. “Now.“

“You’re not leaving me here.“ The Master laughed, shaking his head, he didn’t seem to be taking her seriously.

“Yes I am. You are not getting off this rock. You will never get the opportunity to hurt my family, ever.“ The Doctor retorted, her voice low and threatening.

“You won’t shoot me.“ The Master shrugged, taking a step closer, daring her to do just that.

“Yes I will.“ The Doctor snapped, taking proper aim.

“No you won’t. You didn’t last time and you won’t now, you’re weak.“ The spat, enjoying seeing her struggle with herself. Her kindness and reluctance to use force had always been her greatest weakness. “You think you can protect them when you can’t even find out who’s behind it all? You’re pathetic. Probably best if you don’t find your child, you’d be such a disappointment to them.“

A shot rang out and the Master staggered back. The Doctor was shocked herself but she tried her best to cover that moment of disbelief. She tightened the grip on the gun just in time for the Master to look up again.  

“Wow…“ He grinned, in a maniacal sort of way and pressed his hand to his arm. She had only grazed his shoulder. She was a terrible shot that lacked the strength of her convictions. Or at least she thought she did. Part of her couldn’t believe she had shot him at all and the other part couldn’t believe she had missed.

“The next one will be lethal.“ She threatened, squaring her jaw. She pointed to the door, hoping he would leave already and not put it to the test. In a way, leaving him on Gallifrey was just as bad as shooting him. Both were a death sentence, one just felt a lot easier than the other. Either way, she had to protect her family and if she was strong now, perhaps things would find a way of resolving themselves.

“No, it won’t.“ The Master laughed and before she could follow through on her threat, he darted forward. The Doctor felt the ground move under her feet but not because he knocked her over. He hadn’t gone for her, he had lunged for the controls.

“What have you done?“ The Doctor shouted and crashed against one of the crystalline arms in the control room. The gun was knocked from her hand and skidded off somewhere. The TARDIS was spinning, somersaulting, they were launching into the vortex.

“What have you done? You tried to kill me!“ The Master shot back and was knocked to the ground as well. The TARDIS was out of control.

“Oh because you’ve always been so restrained?!“ The Doctor snapped over the racket of them catapulting through the vortex, hitting energy fields, chronon clouds and any other kind of obstacle the vortex had to offer.

The Doctor pulled herself along the floor, towards the control panel. She had to stabilise them. Just for the moment, the Master was not her primary concern. She managed to grab hope of the console and pulled herself up, hitting the blue stabiliser button. The TARDIS stopped shaking, steadying itself and the Doctor let go a sigh of relief. She got to her feet properly and turned back to the Master who was clambering to his feet as well.

“That was really stupid and incredibly dangerous, we could have been torn apart.“ The Doctor snapped.

“I couldn’t let you leave me there. Better to be killed than return to that isolation.“ The Master huffed, slightly calmer than before. “Do you know what it was like, Doctor? Just you with your own thoughts? Not a living, breathing thing in sight?“ His tone was surprisingly genuine and there was a bitter edge to it.

“You’re not the only one who’s had a tough few decades.“ She retorted but was in no mood to fill him in on her prison sentence so she changed the subject quickly: “Can’t have been all that lonely, you told someone about the timeless child.“

“For the last time, Doctor, I didn’t tell anyone!“ He groaned in annoyance, tossing his arms in the air. He hissed as the movement sent a jolt of pain through his injured arm. “I killed everyone that could possibly have known.“

“Then it was you that told Dorium!“ The Doctor snapped.

“I already told you, I didn’t! When would I have done that?!“ The Master yelled.

“What then? Someone else just found out about the Timeless Child and happened to have taken an interest in my child?!“ The Doctor was trying to wrap her head around it. She only trusted the Master as far as she could throw them but she was beginning to doubt her previous assessment.

“Why would you think those two things are connected?“ The Master shook his head at her shortsightedness.

“What do you mean? Of course they’re connected!“ The Doctor shot back angrily.

“Because you have the word child in both sentences?“ He laughed, gesturing question marks into the air. “Come on, anyone could have taken your child with no other motive other than to get to you. And there are a lot of people who would love a way to get to you, not just me.“

“What do you mean by that?“ The Doctor frowned, taken aback. This was not something she had considered before.

“You have a lot of enemies, Doctor, have you never noticed? None as brilliant as me, obviously, but they’re out there.“ The Master chuckled, giving her a patronising look.

“Is that a hypothetical or do you actually know something?“ The Doctor pressed on. There had to be more there than he was letting on.

The Master shrugged.

“Because if you don’t and you claim to have nothing to do with it, I might as well take you back to Gallifrey.“ She stepped up to the console, intent on changing the course.

“Don’t.“ The Master grabbed her arm and pulled her away. “You know I have nothing to do with this and I don’t know where your child is.“

“You’re gonna have to give me more than that.“ The Doctor shook him off. “You know something… what did you do?“

“Alright… I may be guilty of a teensy little fibette…“ The Master smirked, clearly enjoying this. “Perhaps someone did hear about the timeless child… so maybe it is connected to the kidnapping of your child after all… though, I wonder how they would have found out about your son…“ He mused but was interrupted when the Doctor grabbed him by the collar of his coat.

“What did you do?“ She growled, fresh anger shooting through her.

“I just wanted to play… create a little chaos…“ The Master grinned.

“What did you do?“ She repeated pulling him closer.

“Every species has their black sheep don’t they… apart from you and me of course…“ He smirked.

“You didn’t…“ The Doctor’s eyes widened as she sensed where he was going with this. So close to him, she could almost see his memory of it in her own mind.

“What do you think would happen if you free all of Gallifrey’s bad boys and girls in one go? I couldn’t create all that destruction just by myself, could I.“ The expression in his eyes was nothing short of madness.

“And you think someone fled the planet before you destroyed everything?“ The Doctor carried on and he shrugged:

“Who knows, I didn’t keep count.��

——

Space, 52nd Century

“It’s not much… bits and pieces of his misadventures… this bit is interesting, it’s a footnote from the Book of the Revenants, you know the Doctor has her own volume.“ Dorium flicked through the data in his mind, keeping quiet for a moment as he focused.

“Yeah she’s mentioned that…“ Yaz couldn’t help but smile at the fond memory. What a carefree adventure that had been in comparison to what was happening now. She wondered how the Doctor was doing. She had no idea River had been taken as well… Perhaps they should try to contact her…

“As if their head wasn’t big enough…“ Vastra sighed. “What does it say?“

“It’s a brief description of their personalities, stops at twelve, sadly.“ Dorium revealed and he started to recite: “Originally a member of the High Council on Gallifrey, the One fell from grace and became one of Gallifrey’s most notorious criminals. Suffering from regenerative dissonance, the personalities of their regenerations remain within their consciousness. Following incarnations are known and distinguishable. The One: the archivist, often pedantic and knowledgeable on many Gallifreyan secrets.“

“So he could have known about the Timeless Child?“ Jenny jumped in, listening closely and her wife nodded in agreement. They had yet to find out what exactly that phrase was meant to mean. The Doctor hadn’t filled them in but somehow, that secret from Time Lord lore seemed to be at the centre of everything.

“Indeed…“ Vastra mumbled. “What else does it say?“

“Brief descriptions of the others, make them more distinguishable I suppose…“ Dorium continued: “The Two: The charmer, a charismatic liar and manipulator; and the Three: The Juvenile, childish and self-centred, prone to tantrums and violence.“

“Not unlike the Master then, makes sense you would confuse them.“ Yaz wondered if the Doctor just attracted a certain kind of mad man to face off against. Despite the seriousness of the situation, it was an amusing thought.

“The Four: The intellectual, a sophisticated and arrogant game-player. The Five: The joker, a funny, wise-cracking and confident trickster. The Six: The psychopath, extremely violent and unstable.“ Dorium carried on as the others listened intently.

“A man after my own heart.“ Strax grinned.

“The Seven: The scientist, clever and calculated with vast scientific knowledge.“ Dorium chose to ignore Strax’s comment and skipped to the next one.

“It sounds like he would have quite the arsenal of abilities at his disposal.“ Vastra mused, trying her best to commit the different personalities to her memory. There was no way of knowing if and when it would become useful. If their hunt was successful, they would soon find themselves face to face with this mysterious Time Lord.

“The Eight: The good man, who unlike his other selves strove to do good.“ Dorium raised his eyebrows, surprised. He checked the data entry twice, just to be sure.  

“Interesting…“ Vastra pursed her lips and Jenny added:

“People don’t have to be just good or just bad, there are two sides to everyone…“

“I’m beginning to see that…“ Yaz admitted, thinking back to the Doctor and the way she had been acting in Dorium’s bar. Her anger and fear had brought out the worst sides of her. She could only hope she was doing okay where she was now.

“The Nine: The kleptomaniac, driven by greed and prone to theft.“ Dorium continued reciting: “The Ten: The hypnotist, confident and able psychic.“

“Another useful ability…“ Vastra commented.

“The Eleven: The schemer, clever, patient and determined.“

“None of them particularly sound like a breeze to deal with…“ Jenny sighed.

“The Twelve: The matriarch, first female and last known regeneration. They are presumed dead.“ Dorium concluded at last.

“Imagine what that’s like, having all those personalities inside you.“ Yaz shook her head to herself. Anyone might go mad under those circumstances.

“I shall be glad to put them out of their misery.“ Strax announced, checking through his blaster rifle.

——

Unknown

“Wakey-wakey…“

River’s head was spinning. She was disoriented. The flood of sensation that came over her was painful in its intensity. She had a splitting headache. Her chest burned with every breath and she coughed. Light was blinding her, her eyes were refusing to adjust just yet. Her muscles were stiff and her joints ached, as if she was awakening from a long sleep.

That was when she realised she had corporal shape. She had a body. She tried to move but found her muscles wouldn’t cooperate, not just yet anyway. She was still getting used to breathing again.

“What…“ She tried to speak but she couldn’t produce sound yet. She felt utterly helpless but she was alive.  

“There we are, slowly coming to.“ The voice seemed very distant and her ears were only just getting used to processing sound again.

“A Time Lord’s body is a miracle. Even one that has spent all their regenerations.“ There was another voice but she couldn’t place it either. Her mind was still trying to catch up to where she was, how she had got here, what had happened last. The Library… had it all been a bad dream?

“She’s not a Time Lord.“ The first voice grew sharper and was beginning to sound more familiar as her senses began to normalise.

“Close enough.“ The second sounded female.

“What’s taking so long?“ There was the first voice again but changed. “Patience, Three.“ River knew that she knew this person but her brain wasn’t at full capacity yet. She blinked against the light. If only she could make something out. She was slowly adjusting. “You did a good job keeping her body intact.“

“The machine will restore her, it might take a while but she will be herself soon enough.“ River knew she had heard the female voice before, too.

“I hope so, I do like them with a bit of bite.“ The Thirteen. The memories were coming back to River now. She had been in the Library and someone had hacked into the system. He must have taken her, brought her elsewhere, returned her to a body. How had he done it?

“No.“ River whispered, her voice horse as her vocal chords hadn’t been used in a long time. It was like she had to learn how to use her body all over again. That was when she realised how she knew the second voice, a voice that still haunted her nightmares.

“Hello Melody.“ Madame Kovarian smirked, leaning over and into her field of vision.

“What are you…“ River tried to reach and push her away, she managed to raise her hands but collided with a glass case. She pressed her hands against it, she was in a glass tube of some kind. Or was it a coffin? She looked at her hands, pressed against the glass, finding her skin red and raw from the electrocution she had suffered while connecting herself to the Library core. She should have been dead. She had been dead. They had brought her body back to life and it was painful.

“Easy now, Melody, dear. A few days and your body will be good as new.“ Kovarian smirked. “Lucky really we got there in time but you were right, Time Lords take forever to properly die…“

“What are you planning on doing with me?“ River managed to turn her head and spotted the Thirteen standing behind Kovarian, watching with a content smirk on his face.

“All in good time, Professor, get your strength back now. It’s no fun beating you when you’re already down.“

[orangepanic]

I saw this “100 OTP questions” by @the-moon-dust-writings and figured I'd procrastinate:

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

Neither of them really, but Asami might make Iroh wear one just to laugh at him.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

Iroh. Asami likes it, too, but he usually initiates.

3. Who has awful taste in music?

Honestly, both of them. Asami likes terrible dance music and Iroh likes obscure combinations of horns and bells and stuff from different cultures.

4. Who is the meme lover?

Asami thinks they’re funny. Iroh doesn’t quite understand.

5. How did their second date go?

Iroh tried to take Asami somewhere very fancy, but the wait was too long. They ended up making out in a shadowy doorway down the street and missing their reservation entirely. Iroh was mortified, but Asami dragged him around the corner to a low-key noodle shop that has since become their favorite restaurant.

6. How many children do they want/have?

Asami thinks about three. Iroh, as many as Asami will agree to.

7. Who hides the weapons?

Iroh hides weapons for Asami around the house so she’ll always have something on hand. In a drawer in the kitchen, on her nightstand, etc. He knows she can take care of herself… and he stashes weapons for her anyway. Asami rolls her eyes but secretly thinks it’s sweet.

8. Who is the better dancer?

Asami. She likes dancing, and learned formal dancing in school. Iroh can’t dance at all, having skipped out on all his lessons as a child after bribing his instructor. He thought dancing is boring, but likes dancing with Asami and lets her lead.

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

No. They quite deliberately have a very normal wedding, including cutting out a lot of the more stuffy Fire Nation customs because Iroh doesn’t want Asami to feel out of place not having any family present.

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

Hiroshi Sato is livid, and actually tried to have Iroh assassinated from prison. His little girl, marry a firebender? A prince of the firebenders? Iroh’s parents are more accepting. Izumi initially thinks Asami is too young and gives Iroh a hard time about how quickly he got serious, but quickly comes around when it’s clear Asami is very mature for her age. Within a year Iroh’s parents are both hounding him on when he’ll make it official.

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

They are that couple everybody hates.

12. How did they get together?

They meet during the Equalist revolution, but don’t get together until long after. Iroh has a crush on Asami almost immediately, but spends forever sitting on it thinking it wasn’t the right time and trying to be friends until one day he just kind of slips up and kisses her. She kisses him back. It turns out Asami liked him, too, but she isn’t great at reading people and had no idea he was interested.

13. Who asked the other to get married?

Iroh just kind of blurts it out one day.

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

Asami is the night owl. Iroh makes the bad jokes.

15. Who is the nerd?

Oh my god, both of them. Asami is more of the classic nerd. Iroh is more of a dork.

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

Iroh.

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

Two questions about flower crowns out of 100?? Changing this to who is more dominant in bed. Asami.

18. Who likes to read?

Iroh. They both do, but he’s much more into it.

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Asami. She has the shorter attention span.

20. Who tutors the other?

They both would in different subjects. Asami is better at math, physics, etc. Iroh is better at philosophy and languages.

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

No. Asami likes gory slasher films and lots of action. Iroh scoffs and thinks they’re dumb. Asami, in turn, thinks his period dramas can be kind of boring, and refuses to count documentaries as movies. But there’s a healthy overlap in things like Vikings and Game of Thrones.

22. How do their personalities complement each other?

Asami helps Iroh lighten up a bit, drawing him out of his shell, and gives him an anchor and a sense of home. She’s more social than he is, and a lot of her friends eventually become his. But she’s also quiet enough and serious enough that she doesn’t tire him out and can feed his need for downtime. Iroh, in turn, loves seldom but deeply, and gives Asami the kind of fierce, unconditional love and stability she needs. He’s also genuinely interested in her projects, is smart enough to follow most of it, and is one of the only people who can occasionally beat her in Pai Sho. They have a lot of fun together just being nerds.

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

They don’t have to tell anybody. It’s all over Iroh’s face like a big neon sign.

24. Who has better fashion sense?

Asami, but not by much. She’s more up to date with trends, while Iroh’s style is clean and classic.

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Hoo boy, both of them. Do not go there.

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

Neither of them sing in the satomobile. Iroh has a decent voice, but he’s a bit private about it. Asami mostly hums.

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Iroh quickly becomes BFFs with Bolin. Asami and Opal aren’t quite as close, but they like each other’s company and have fun as a foursome. They also get along quite well with Pema and Tenzin.

28. Who likes to prank the other?

Iroh tries more often. Asami’s pranks are more successful.

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

Iroh, though generally Korra is the picture taker in the group.

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

Iroh raises an eyebrow. “Hmm.” Asami only shrugs. They both already knew that.

31. Where would they live?

They like Republic City and decide to stay downtown, first in an apartment and eventually a larger townhouse.

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

Whichever one Iroh made friends with. Asami is a bit wary of animals and would need him to convince her it was safe.

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

The kind that live in a beautiful house with perfect collections that took hundreds of years to make. Iroh has first editions of everything in a giant library, arranged in a complex system only he understands. He’s working on his 14th language. Asami has invented artificial blood and doesn’t miss sunburns. Occasionally she’ll throw one of those big fancy vampire balls just so they can both get dressed up. They’re pretty happy.

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

They once went as Lady Tienhai and the last king of Mo Ce because picking something obscure and historical was the only way to get Iroh into a costume.

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

Kind of. They are both really into food, so picking a favorite is hard. But if the question is can they order for one another, absolutely.

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

Asami sometimes calls Iroh “General Hotstuff” when she’s teasing. Iroh sometimes calls Asami “sex pretzel” when he’s 1000% sure they are alone.

37. How do they cheer each other up?

Asami is more of a gift giver. She’ll show up with Iroh’s favorite take-out or make him something in her workshop—anything to make him feel special and valued. Iroh is all about quality time, and will swing by Asami’s office to haul her out on surprise dates. He also gives great hugs.

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

No. Iroh is very uncomfortable with PDA, especially when he’s in uniform. Asami follows his lead.

39. How old were they when they got together?

Asami was 19-20, Iroh 24-25.

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Iroh, 100%. He’s such a sucker.

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

Yes, though Asami is the only one who really tries.

42. What is their song?

They don’t really have one.

43. What does their room look like?

Asami moved in with Iroh, so it’s very basic. White walls, perfectly made bed, a neatly organized desk in the far corner by the window. He’s a total minimalist, having spent most of his adult life on a ship. Asami added a very fluffy comforter in *gasp* a color and lots of pillows.

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

They’d take turns, and at some point Asami would turn it into a contest.

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

Iroh. Asami is a terrible cook.

46. Who loves kids more?

Iroh.

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

Not crazy, but Iroh and his ex are not on good terms. He doesn’t like to talk about it.

48. What are their favourite colours?

Asami, purple. Iroh, black. He gets annoyed when people get him so much red stuff.

49. Who likes to cook?

Iroh. He fired Asami from the kitchen, something they are both grateful for.

50. Who is the forgetful one?

Asami.

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

Have you met these people?

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

Iroh would probably plan something elaborate for them to go out. Asami would plan something sexy for when they got home.

53. Who swears more?

Asami, at least out loud. Iroh mostly swears under his breath.

54. Who has the better comebacks?

Asami. It’s not even close.

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

Probably Asami, unless it was about the kids. If anyone comes for Iroh’s kids, they’d better hide.

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

Asami.

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

Iroh, hands down.

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

Asami can manage it.

59. Who can rap better?

Asami, though Iroh is the only one who actually listens to rap.

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

Asami would love to. Iroh laughs. “Been there.”

61. What do they usually text about?

Some version of “I miss you” or random pictures of stuff. They generally only text when Iroh is away as they’re both busy during the day.

62. Who is the dramatic one?

Asami has a shorter fuse. Iroh is more ridiculous when he loses his shit.

63. Is either one confrontational?

Not really.

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

Asami will lay on top of Iroh on the couch like a sandwich. It’s the only position she seems to be able to nap in.

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

See above about terrible taste in music.

66. What are their parenting styles?

Iroh covers a lot of the basics. He sets a schedule, makes lunches, tells bedtime stories, is more likely to help with the homework. Asami is the one who gets them around and does most of the interacting with teachers, other parents, etc. They share things fairly equally.

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

Iroh.

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

Asami.

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

Yes. Asami can be secretive about some of her projects, both out of an abundance of caution but also because she likes a big reveal. Iroh keeps some past relationship stuff close, and will occasionally read a steamy romance novel for “tips.”

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

Bolin and Opal

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

Iroh tips very well.

72. How do they work out a fight?

Asami yells. Iroh yells back. One of them storms off. The other one waits about half an hour then goes to find them, usually with an offering of food. There are hugs. Somebody cries. Then they finally talk it out before falling asleep together.

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Asami. She is less likely to have a pet, but if she does, it’s going to be a weird one.

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

Iroh is on the side by the window because he likes to get up with the sun.

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

There’s a photo Korra took at the beach where Iroh has Asami thrown over his shoulder right before dunking her in the water. This is the picture he takes with him when he’s deployed.

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

Asami.

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

Iroh. If you can call them songs.

78. What movie did they first see together?

Iroh took her to Last Days of the Sun Warriors. She fell asleep. He said the book was better.

79. What do they like to see each other in?

Asami thinks Iroh’s butt looks great in jeans. Iroh got Asami a red silk robe from the Fire Nation and likes to see it fall off.

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

Iroh.

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

Mid-20s, though they don’t have them until a little later.

82. What do they love about each other the most?

Iroh likes that Asami is tough and smart and a problem-solver. Asami likes that Iroh is kind and brave and has a strong moral compass.

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

They are both big picture people, which is sometimes a problem. Of the two, Asami is probably better at details, but she’s also forgetful.

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

Asami would probably put up a picture of them and say something brief but sweet. Iroh doesn’t really understand social media and would just paste a heart-eyes emoji.

85. Who is bad at math?

Iroh. He’s not bad, per se, but Asami is very, very good.

86. Who googles everything?

Asami.

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

Both of them in different ways. Asami is generally more flexible. Iroh usually has a plan but makes big decisions completely off the cuff.

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

Lots of physical touch. Iroh will kind of just wrap himself around her in one giant, whole body hug. Asami will spend some time cursing out whomever is causing the issue, then let him lay his head in her lap and give Iroh a good head scratch or massage.

89. What is an inside joke they have?

There was one time they had sex in Asami’s office at Future Industries, so occasionally she’ll drop things like, “feel like coming by the office?” with a suggestive eyebrow waggle. Iroh is, predictably, very embarrassed. Also interested.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Asami: *exists* Iroh: *smiles*

91. What is their favourite holiday?

New Years is a big deal in the Fire Nation. Iroh loves his family and likes going home, and Asami has grown to love it almost as much.

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

They take turns. Both of them can have quite a temper when pushed too hard.

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

They’re both big Pai Sho fans, but can get into any kind of strategy game. Nobody really likes to play them though, they're too good.

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

Asami. Iroh hasn’t had a fire accident since he was four.

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

Asami. She’d rob the store, too, but no way is she letting Iroh drive.

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

Iroh booked a private box at the Republic City Opera, thinking that was an impressive thing he should do on a date. It turns out neither of them like opera, and by the end they were both making fun of it.

97. Who sleep talks?

Asami. Iroh thinks it’s funny.

98. Who is the more social one?

Asami, by a long shot.

99. What are their karaoke songs?

Neither of them would really sing karaoke, but Iroh cannot hold his liquor like at all so if he ever got really plastered Asami might be able to drag him up there. By which point he’d be too far gone to have an opinion on the song and would sing just about anything.

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

Asami.

[kaeyas-beloved]

Prompt: A party at a stranger’s house. A night of barhopping led here and the world had started tilting on its own hours ago. There is a constant tickle on the back of their neck. Their heart beats speed up.

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire // Modern!AU

Pairing/Characters: Isaac Newton x Reader // Mentions of some of the other guys

Summary: Isaac has a moment with his crush and at an all Hallows Eve dorm party of all places.

Warning(s): Couple swear words, alcohol

~

The walls thrummed with the pounding music that played from surrounding stereos, the vibrations against her back strangely comforting. The lights that swirled around the party room mixed and blurred and the world looked and felt like it was tilted to the right. People passed by her, most in pairs or groups of their friends, along with the odd loner, those by themselves and looking for a means of entertainment. 

A little like her.

The night started out mundane, like many previous nights before. She’d leave to return back to her dorm room, work on any class assignments but ultimately receive a text from either Theo, Arthur or both, begging for her to come out for a drink out in the city. She’d refuse but ultimately get roped in, the promise of drinks being on them too much to pass up.

Late in the night, somewhere between shots, endless rants about life and work, plus the boisterous laughs and the three somehow stumbled their way into a nearby party. The usual bar they frequented wasn’t too far from the residential area, so it wasn’t really that difficult to get where they were now. Still, it was a little surprising to be in one loud place and then another of equal volume.

Taking a breath in the smell of humidity and booze filled her nostrils, but maybe that was just her she was smelling. A cold trickle of sweat ran down her neck, the coolness a stark contrast to the heat her skin gave off.

Amongst the mass of bodies she could barely make out her flirt of a friend, Arthur, over on the other side of the room, two women sliding up on either side of him. A ways away from him stood Theo, who also had a girl hanging off his arm, only he didn’t seem to enjoy the attention unlike the recently turned English major student. 

The music might have drowned it out, but (Y/N) couldn’t help but scoff at the familiar happenings. 

(E/C) eyes wandered around listlessly, searching for something that would spark her interest. The drinks table came into view, the thought of alcohol reminding her of the already present headache from all the other drinks she had earlier. 

‘What the hell... why not. I’m already in deep’ 

The trek to the refreshments was a perilous one, (Y/N) having nearly fallen more times than she’d like to admit and she found herself sighing in relief when she finally made it. Filling the cliché red cup (- you’ve seen the movies) of whatever punch caught her attention, she took a hefty sip as her eyes roamed the room some more. That’s when they landed on him. 

A sense of excitement spiked through her as she grabbed and filled yet another cup, striding over to a spot where the lights don’t quite reach and to someone leaning quietly against the wall. He was staring off into the crowd so he didn’t see her walk up, leading him to nearly jump out of his skin when she spoke up.

“Isaac right? From physics?” she asked, and the question as well caught him off guard, eyes wide as he looked behind him then back at her. 

“Are you talking to me?” 

“Who else?” she giggled, passing him the untouched cup she’s been holding. Reluctantly he took it, their fingers brushing and he could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. Had it not been for the raging lights perhaps she would have seen him in his flustered state, an event that would end in large scale embarrassment for him.

Isaac knew exactly who the woman that approached him was. She shared only one class with him and sat one seat to the right and two forward, close enough for him to hear her but too far to talk to. He’s watched, in a non-creepy way, how she asks for the more complicated material that’s available and has witnessed how she talks with such passion for science. Out of everyone in that seemingly large, boring lecture hall they shared, she was the only one that matched his love for the subject, maybe even understood it as well as he. 

And in turn the smallest of crushes formed. Rather childish he told himself, but he couldn’t deny wanting to get to know her more, to talk day in and out about anything and everything under the sun regarding their shared subject. 

“You know, I didn’t peg you as the kind to come to parties like these” she stated, leaning against the wall next to him while taking another sip of punch, and Isaac found himself doing the same despite not even remotely liking the stuff.

“My friend dragged me here...” 

“What a coincidence, so did mine”

“So why aren’t you with them?”

“They buggered off the first chance they could. Yet I’m still watching out for them, if I don’t it’ll turn out like last time!'' She laughed, remembering the time that Arthur was left on the curb by a group of women, a shell shocked look accompanied by a scarlet red handprint on his face. Then there was Theo who was so drunk he was on the verge of tears just by his older brother lightly scolding him for drinking so much, a sight she shall remember for the rest of her life.

“So why did you choose to come over to me, you could have done literally anything else yet you chose to see me?” he asked before thinking, briefly wishing to slam his head against the wall. Use your head, she was left alone, she wanted company! But he refrained from acting out the rash action, especially after her response.

“Well, if I’m being honest you looked a little lonely and I... wanted to talk to you...” it was the alcohol talking, she knew that, yet she kept going. Sliding a little closer to him she stares right into his cherry blossom coloured eyes, the lights reflecting off the coloured orbs beautifully. 

“But why? Why me, I’m not that special-” he began again, eyes cast down to his shoes.

“But you are!” she cut him off, “I’ve heard you talk in the halls and while your friends might not understand what you were saying I could. Hell, I’ve seen your notebook, and I think there are things you should bring to the table for people to see! Some of them are genuinely extraordinary!”   

“H-how did you see my notebook?!” he gasped.

“You left it open one day after class and I happened to be passing your seat when I saw it.”

“W-well, that still doesn't change the fact you’re just saying all that because you feel sorry for me!”

“No...” she shook her head, voice barely audible above the blaring music and she leaned in closer, close enough that Isaac could feel the heat radiating off her. 

For her that chill on her back made itself known once more, though it was always there to begin with and the air from passing strangers left a light breeze to pass over any exposed skin, a rush of heat happened through her entire body at the same time. What her drunken self was about to do was exhilarating, something that her sober self could only dream to do.

And as their heart beats picked up in speed, she ushered the words in a sweet, quiet voice, words that would set off a chain of events.

“I said all that because... I like you...smart, kind, cute” she smiled, all the moments these traits came through with him rushing through her mind.

Before Isaac could say anything a warmth emitted from his lips and it took a moment for him to realize that she was kissing him.

Not entirely sure where to put his hands, they hesitantly found a place to rest on her waist as he kissed her back, body pushed against the wall. Had the support not been there he may have fallen from an overload of emotion. 

“(Y/N) where are you- ohoho! Now what do we have here~” the teasing voice of Arthur had her pulling away quicker than either would have liked.

“You have the worst timing ever Arthur you know that?” she glared at him, annoyed that he ruined the moment, yet it was something he paid no mind to as a devilish smirk spread across his face.

“No, I believe I have great timing if I'm able to see this kind of show!” he jested.

“What do you want?” she asked and Arthur composed himself somewhat.

“Theo and I are leaving and he told me to come fetch you else he abandons you here” turning he added something about how she should follow along quickly or that threat will become a reality. Before she left though, there was one thing she had to do.

“Do you want to try this? Us I mean?” Isaac gulped at the question, never in a million years thinking he’d get here of all places. But the rate his heart was racing and the quiver of his body had reminded him that, yes, this is real.

“Sure, can we talk tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow” she nodded, turning and walking away with such ease you’d never know that she had lots to drink that night, or that internally she was screaming at having just proposed a date to the boy she’s liked since the first week of school.

The tingle on each of their lips lasted the whole night, just thinking of the act they shared had a rush of hot and cold shooting through them. 

It seems that weird, unpredictable and mysterious things really do happen on the night of all Hallows Eve.

[winters-blue-children]

A WinterBaron Fic. Part of this series that I like to call WinterBaron Trash.

Despite his better judgment, Bucky wants the arrogant prick of a Baron. And he knows Zemo wants him too. Unfortunately, Bucky also wants to keep the upper hand.

He starts with a warning in his tone. “We told you not to step out of line. We told you not to make a move without our permission.”

Bucky’s voice is low. His body is buzzing, itching for… not a fight exactly, he’d had enough of that for the day. But perhaps, a confrontation maybe. So that’s why he left Sam in the main area of the plane where he’s still speaking to Torres and sought out Zemo. And now here they are.

Bucky grinds his teeth when Zemo doesn’t even bother to look up from what he’s doing. Nor does the other man seem at all worried by the icy steel menace in his voice.

Bucky watches as Zemo continues to prepare his small plates of biscuits as if he hadn’t spoken. Unclenching his jaw, he asks, “You really want to shorten your little vacation from prison?”

Finally, Zemo lifts his head to glance at him, looking annoyingly nonchalant. “I did everything you asked, James,” he says gently. And when he turns his body to face him, tilts his head in that frustrating knowing way that he does, Bucky almost regrets his decision to seek out the other man.

“You wanted a lead and I gave you one,” Zemo continues, his voice still too casual. He smirks, knowing that Bucky can’t even argue the point, because he’s the one who helped him break out of prison—despite what Bucky tells himself and what he keeps insisting to Sam.

“I knew where to start and I got us to where we needed to be. Dare I say, James,” Zemo raises an eyebrow. “You might have even enjoyed my company.”

Bucky flushes red at the memory of the previous night and what they did at Sharon’s. He recalls soft lips and a warm, wet mouth. His spine tingles, unsure if he’s found himself here because he wants more. He hopes not.

Bucky’s eyes darken and he exhales roughly. “You killed Nagel,” he growls.

Zemo nods. His eyes harden as well. “What did you think was going to happen? We’d sit him down for a nice cup of tea?”

Bucky scoffs and looks away. Of course, he’d known. But he can’t help the echo of Dr. Raynor’s rules in his head. Do not do anything illegal. Do not hurt anyone. Even as he breaks those rules, again and again, when he needs to—he still hesitates, every single time. Maybe it’s because he likes Raynor and knows that she’s good for him. Or maybe it’s because he thinks of how Steve would be so disappointed that Bucky isn’t able to stick to the straight and narrow without him. That his ‘recovery’ isn’t everything it was supposed to be in his absence.

Zemo lets the pause linger between them before speaking again, as if he were carefully reading the conflict across Bucky’s face. “You would have done the same,” he says quietly. “You wanted to do the same. I did what you could not.”

Bucky closes his eyes. His jaw tightens as he speaks, “Stop speaking like you know me, Zemo.”

Zemo, ever so confident, gives him a wry grin. “I know that you are constantly holding yourself back. At Selby’s?” He raises an elegant eyebrow and gives a single shake of his head. “Even when you are playing the soldier, you fear what you could unleash if you were to truly let yourself go.”

Of course, Zemo is right. A punch to the gut would have felt worse. But Bucky stubbornly bites his tongue, refusing to give him the satisfaction of admitting it.

“I understand, you know,” Zemo continues in a low voice, as he takes a step closer. Bucky freezes, not sure if he wants the other man any closer. But then Zemo says quietly, “And I get it. You don’t have to do that around me.”

Bucky’s spine freezes. He heaves a heavy sigh and swallows.

Bastard. After everything he’s done, after Berlin, after Siberia— it was nothing personal— bullshit, Bucky thinks. He knows better than anyone that actions speak a lot louder than the intentions behind them.

But the thing that really grates on his nerves is the way Zemo shows no fear around him. Instead, he’s calm, confident, and collected. Something there reminds him of the Winter Soldier’s many handlers. Bucky shudders at the reminder.

“You don’t know me,” he repeats through gritted teeth. “You piece of shit, you don’t know a goddamn thing about me. Everything that you read in that book, everything you think you know, that’s not me.”

Zemo blinks. Goddamnit, maybe he was slightly off base because something changes in the air and Zemo suddenly looks genuinely sad as he considers him with those warm bambi-brown eyes.

“Oh James… I’m sorry that’s what you think of me.” Zemo tilts his head to the other side, a small wry smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “When I look at you, I don’t see the Winter Soldier. I don’t see the weapon, the asset, or the fist of HYDRA. I see the man.”

His tone is genuine, not at all condescending. And it makes Bucky want to believe him.

“You don’t see shit.”

“It’s the truth,” Zemo says quietly. He watches him with heavy-lidded eyes and takes another step closer, and then, “I see that man. And I want that man.”

The sweat on Bucky’s back goes cold. “What?” He snaps. And then softer, he asks, “Why?”

Zemo chuckles, though his lips barely twitch. He bows his head and looks to the side. The sudden facade of bashful and timid makes Bucky want to scream.

“You’re a beautiful man, James.” Zemo smirks and tilts his head. “I can’t be faulted for noticing.”

And then Bucky sees red. He’s fuming as he rushes to close the few feet of space between them. His face burns with heat as he grabs the smaller man by the lapels of his stupid purple sweater. His teeth clench against the sting of indignation and anger.

“You son of a bitch,” he grits out and he slams Zemo painfully against the counter behind him. Zemo spares him another small, sly smile. To add insult to injury, Bucky’s stupid cock is once again finding an interest in the closeness of their bodies.

Zemo breathes. His tongue peeks out to swipe against his bottom lip.

Fucking asshole. Bucky trembles, struggling to keep a clear head. He doesn’t know whether he wants to hit Zemo or kiss him. It’s an oddly refreshing predicament to be in really, partially because the other man is no match for him physically. Bucky has made it clear that he could snap his neck like a twig. But the problem with Zemo is that he likes to fuck with his head.

Bucky’s hands tighten their grip against Zemo’s collarbones. He leans closer, dwarfing the other man with his larger stature.

“You’re just aching for it, aren’t ya?” He keeps his tone light and condescending, some faint amusement buried not so deep underneath. “You want me to fuck you?” He growls, a hair’s breadth away from Zemo’s lips.

A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth at the way Zemo’s eyes widen in shock. Or maybe lust. He holds the vibranium hand against Zemo’s throat, while the other slowly drifts down between the other man’s legs. His cock is already stiff, so he curls his fingers around his balls instead. He squeezes—not too hard, but enough to feel Zemo swallow against him in discomfort.

“You want me to fuck you so hard, until your knees give out and you can’t even say your own name?”

“Yes.”

No other word has sounded so good to Bucky’s ears. “Say it again,” he bites out. His grip inadvertently tightens.

“James,” Zemo rasps, his voice barely a whisper. “You’re hurting me.”

Bucky blinks slowly, watching the other man with dark, hooded eyes. And then, “You like it.”

It isn’t meant to be some revelation. Yet Bucky feels something akin to begin struck dumb at the way Zemo nods, his cheeks flushed red.

Bucky typically runs hot from the super-soldier serum coursing through his veins. Added to the warmth that spreads from Zemo’s skin through his fingers and limbs to his groin, and the heat is suddenly almost too hot to bear.

“You really want it?” Bucky asks curiously. Do you really want me?

“Yes, James, please.”

Now this is something he could get used to. Zemo begging him, pleading for him. Bucky bites down on his tongue as he thinks of Zemo on his knees again, taking him into his mouth and swallowing him into his throat. Maybe this time, he could turn him around and take him from behind. He would fuck that tight ass rough and hard, drawing broken gasps from his lips, and refusing to let him come until he’s begging him like a whore.

It’s a nice thought. Almost good enough to make him do it.

“James?”

At the sound of the small voice, Bucky averts his eyes and takes a slow smooth breath. Zemo is aching for his cock. Desperate for it, really, if the way he shudders and trembles, seeking friction against him is any indication.

He needs this to be over. He needs his head clear again—Zemo is too much of a distraction over anything else.

He needs to see Zemo crushed and humiliated. The other man still writhes helplessly against him, whining to bring attention to his needs. That helps.

Bucky has the upper hand here. He knows this now. He chuckles softly to himself. A smug sneer graces his face as he carefully loosens his grip. He takes a resolute step back and revels in the dumbfounded, speechless look on Zemo’s face.

Zemo stares at him, staggered, jaw dropped in shock, as he continues to step away.

“I appreciate your honesty,” Bucky says lightly before he turns on his heel. A second later, a Sokovian curse bites out like music to his ears.

Bucky smirks to himself as he retreats. So petty and stubborn, he thinks Steve might actually be impressed with him.

[max-is-tired]

It’s Fine By Me (If You Never Leave)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 2.062

Warnings: Sympathetic Remus, swearing, crying, kissing

Notes: I... might be starting to grow lowkey in love with Dark Sides ships sdkjvnsjkfvn 

Anyway!! here is a new fic, not even a week after the last one I posted -miracles exist apparently. A big thank you to my boyfriend @afulldeckofaces for catching the mistakes that slipped past 3am me skvnsfjv you’re the best babe <3

I hope you guys like it!!

Commission me!!  Buy me a coffee!!  Join my Discord server!!

If you had told 15 years old Virgil that one day he would’ve fallen in love with none other than Remus Grimm, he would’ve probably ended up cracking a rib or two by laughing too much.

And yet, look at him now -19 years old ad head over hills for his best friend, who just happened to have had to move two towns over because of college.

God, feelings sucked.

Virgil groaned in frustration, letting his forehead hit the textbook lying open in front of him with a muffled thump.

He was tired. He was so. Fucking. Tired. Tired of college, tired of this stupid crush that kept stubbornly refusing to go away, tired of his stupid anxiety and tired of having to deal with all of this without his best friend by his side.

Yes, he was grumpy because he hadn’t seen Remus in more than a month, sue him.

As if sensing his worsening mood, his phone buzzed, breaking Virgil out of his thoughts. Letting out a series of annoyed grumbles and half-assed curses, Virgil snatched his phone from where it was lying on the desk, Remus’ wild grin staring back at him from the screen.

It was a photo they had taken that summer, just before Remus had had to leave for college. Roman had been the one taking it, the day Patton had decided to drag -for some more literally than others- their entire group out for some ice cream.

Remus had thrown his arm around Virgil’s shoulder, proudly showing off his chocolate mustache as the other fumbled with his cone to keep it from falling to the ground.

Virgil remembered glaring daggers at him for a total of two seconds before Remus’ waggling eyebrows did him in and sent him in a snickering fit.

Virgil remembered the weight of Remus’ arm around his shoulder, his warmth seeping through his shirt in a way that somehow, didn’t make him uncomfortable -he had never felt uncomfortable with Remus, not once, not even under the hot summer Florida weather in the middle of July.

He only saw that photo for the first time later that night, staring at Remus’ wide grin and sparkling green eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

The realization had crashed over him like a tsunami, every thought in his head screeching to a halt as he slowly became more and more aware of the fact that he was very much in love with his best friend.

”Of course,” Virgil remembered thinking, staring at his phone with wide eyes, ”who else could it be?”

And boy if that thought alone hadn’t scared the living shit out of him.

For a moment, Virgil let his mind linger on the memory of that sunny afternoon, a soft smile stretching on his face.

Then, he swiped up and clicked on the notification.

”You up for a little chat?” read Remus’ message, followed by a string of random emojis Virgil didn’t even try to decipher -he knew it would probably be useless since they rarely made sense in the first place.

Virgil frowned, threw a considering glance at his textbook and the various papers still scattered on the desk and shrugged -it was not like he was getting anything done anyway.

“sure, why not”

Not even ten seconds later Virgil’s phone lit up with an incoming call, the first notes of My Immortal filling the room.

“Hey there Spider boy!” came Remus’ voice from the other side of the line.

Immediately, Virgil felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, relaxing back on his chair as he pushed himself away from the cluttered desk.

“Sup, Trashman,” he answered, not even bothering to fight down the tired grin tugging at his lips -Remus was not there to tease him about it anyway, so.

“Wow, don’t sound too excited to hear from me.”

Virgil snorted, his smile turning more and more genuine as the seconds passed.

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later. But really, you sound like shit -everything alright? Are there some bones that I need to break?”

Virgil groaned, leaning back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that he wasn’t panicking over his homework exhaustion was slamming down on him full-force, making it very hard for him to string together a coherent thought let alone think about filtering whatever shit was coming out of his mouth.

“It’s just… fucking everything, man. College is kicking my ass, my anxiety is kicking my ass and I’m just- I’m just tired, you know?”

From the other side of the line, Virgil heard Remus hiss in sympathy at his words.

“Yeah, shit, that sounds rough as hell.”

A beat of silence, and then-

“I can drive over and burn down your campus if you want. No college, no classes. Boom, airtight.”

Virgil couldn’t have stopped the amused snickers leaving his mouth even if he’d tried, shoulders shaking with his laughter as he fought to stifle it down.

“Thanks for the very tempting offer, but I think I’ll give it a pass for now.”

Then, he sighed, feeling his smile slip away as he stared at the ceiling, his sadness starting to creep up on him again. “... I miss you,” he whispered -he hadn’t exactly meant to say that out loud, but he had and now just couldn’t stop.

“I just- I miss our daily escapades and you sneaking into my room at the oddest hours of the day because you decided for some reason that simply using the front door was too mainstream.”

Virgil took in a ragged breath, distantly feeling his eyes start to sting with unshed tears.

“I miss being able to just call you when everything gets too much with the knowledge you’ll be knocking at my window in five minutes max. I miss having you physically by my side every day, I miss my best friend and I feel so fucking bad about it because you’re following your dreams and I’m proud of you, I really am but I also want you right here by my side and-”

Virgil audibly snapped his mouth shut, pressing a hand over his lips to stifle his sobs as tears streamed down his face out of his control.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, moving the phone away from his ear.

“Virgil-” Remu voice called, sounding worried and maybe a little desperate. but before he could say anything more, Virgil hung up, letting his room fall back into silence before throwing the phone somewhere on his bed.

Virgil bit down hard on his lip, but he could do nothing against the sobs that kept bubbling in his throat. One escaped, then another and soon Virgil could do nothing but curl up with his head hidden between his knees, yearning for the one person that could not help him the way he wanted him to.

+++

Virgil didn’t exactly remember when he fell asleep, his memory being somewhat hazy in-between the tears that seemed to never end and the way he kept feeling like something was trying to squeeze him to death from the inside-out.

What he did remember, however, was waking up to a very familiar sound -one he’d thought he wouldn’t get to hear again in quite some time.

Initially, during those few moments floating between dreams and awakening, when reality hasn’t quite set in yet and sleep still hangs heavily from your eyelids, Virgil had almost believed he was still dreaming, his own vain hopes playing cruel tricks to his brain.

But the seconds kept ticking and Virgil kept hearing the goddamn sound, so there were only two possible explanations -either someone was trying to break into his room, or-

Virgil bolted up, almost tumbling off the chair he had fallen asleep on -which, ouch- in his haste to get to the window.

And sure enough, there Remus was, with his signature manic grin as he waved at Virgil from the tree branch he was perched on.

Virgil stared, hands moving almost on their own as they went through the familiar motions of unlocking the window to let his best friend in.

“Thanks, it was starting to get chilly out!” Remus chirped, climbing in with practiced ease and plopping himself down on the bed.

“What the fuck,” Virgil answered, still trying to process what was going on.

“I- you- what???” Virgil felt like his brain was about to implode, his gaze flickering from Remus to the window and then back to Remus again.

“Dude, what the hell are you doing here? It’s fucking two am or something like that and you live like, three hours away!”

Remus shrugged, shuffling around so he could sit cross-legged in the middle of the bed.

“My best friend is hurting, why would I not come?”

“It’s the middle of the week, you have classes tomorrow,” Virgil weakly pointed out, starting to feel a little choked up with all the emotions coursing through him at once.

“It’s Thursday, or Friday morning is you wanna be accurate,” Remus easily countered. “I know for a fact that neither you nor I have anything important going on tomorrow and the weekend is class free, so I’m going to crash here until Monday morning since we both have afternoon classes. And no, this is not up to debate. It’s happening, Spider Boy.”

Virgil blinked, staring at him with wide eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

There was a tingling sensation running through all of his body, electrifying in the best of ways. It felt like fire and ice and water altogether, filling him up and up until-

“I love you,” Virgil blurted out, unable to stop the words from tumbling out any longer.

Remus stared for a second before a dazzling grin took over his face.

“I love you too!” he chirped, grinning so wide Virgil distantly worried if it didn’t hurt to pull at the muscles that much.

“No, uh-” Virgil stuttered, all too aware of how flustered he probably looked at that moment.

He bit his lip, pondering his next course of action. He could still salvage this, just let it go and make Remus believe he meant it in a platonic way and nothing more, burying his feelings in the deepest and darkest corner of his heart. But on the other hand… did he really want to do that?

“I meant in a romantic way, Remus,” he finally admitted, looking everywhere but at his best friend, “I love you as in I want to be your boyfriend and kiss you and stuff.”

Silence fell, filling the room as Virgil kept carefully avoiding Remus’ eyes.

God, he’d ruined everything, didn’t he?

Then he saw a familiar hand reach out and grab a fistful of his hoodie, firmly tugging him forward before he could express his confusion.

Virgil let out a startled yelp, stumbling towards the bed until he found himself face-to-face with his best friend. Still grinning, Remus winked before leaning in, erasing the last few inches separating them as he kissed him square on the lips.

Virgil froze, eyes as wide as saucers as he tried to comprehend whatever the fuck was going on. But before he could do that, Remus pulled back, slowly letting his eyes slide open again as a small, soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips -it was such a strange expression to see on Remus’ face, but Virgil found that he didn’t mind it at all, as long as it was directed at him.

“I know what you meant,” Remus chuckled, pecking Virgil on the lips again for good measure, “and I love you too. Now, are you gonna actually get on the bed and cuddle or do I need to drag you under the covers myself?”

Virgil let out a startled snort, feeling like he was reeling from the last five minutes alone. Still, he dutifully climbed on the bed and flopped down, feeling his exhaustion start to creep back on him again.

Remus grinned, laying down beside Virgil and immediately cuddling as close as humanly possible.

“Comfy?” Virgil teased, moving his hand to gently card it through the other’s hair.

“Hush boyfriend, pillows don’t talk,” Remus grumbled, already halfway gone as he somehow snuggled even closer.

Virgil hummed, leaning down to leave a kiss in Remus’ hair.

Boyfriend, uh? Well, it did have a nice ring to it.

[evitcani-writes]

Is Reality a Simulation?

Okay, so I want to preface this post with: I am a computer scientist. I’m not a physicist. I want to talk about how and why the theory of reality being a simulation is ridiculous. 

Main points you can read in the jump below (this will be long):

The people who argue reality is a simulation aren’t computer scientists (we have proof that reality isn’t a simulation... yes, really)

We are reaching a plateau in digital technological advancement 

The technology needed to simulate the universe would require more matter than the universe holds

You are reading this post which is eliciting thoughts and feelings

Finally, I talk about the proof we have reality isn’t a simulation

Below the cut, I’ll go into detail.

The people who argue reality is a simulation aren’t computer scientists 

I strongly believe that outsiders to a field can bring new insight. In this case, I think it comes from a lack of understanding of how computers “think” (your computer is “thinking” right now). 

And yes, I’m choosing to focus on the philosophical explanation rather than the proofs reality isn’t a simulation because you won’t internalize the math required. But you will be able to see logical steps in reasoning with some light explanation. So, moving on...

When computer scientists and software engineers talk about computers “thinking”, we mean very specific things. Your computer has to prioritize tasks in a way that makes it feel seamless to you, the user. It’s making decisions. It’s thinking.

When other people talk about how computers “think”, they mean something more like how we think. Where decisions are a product of environment, past experience, personality and intention. 

The problem we have with true AI is that we humans always give computers an intention and focus. When you are telling someone to do something they can’t refuse, it’s not free will when they do it.

We’ve reached a plateau in digital advancement

Have you noticed the trend of phones getting larger instead of smaller? This is because we’ve reached the limits of the law that says technology will get faster and smaller every year. That law is called Moore’s Law. What people fail to realize is Moore’s Law is not a straight line. It’s a logarithmic curve that eventually plateaus and ceases to get larger. 

We fell below the pace predicted by Moore’s law in 2010. We slowed even further in 2015. 

That makes sense though, right? I mean... At some point you get down to electrons and the things that make up electrons and then how are you supposed to get smaller? I mean, we are experimenting with using the density of electrons to designate 0 and 1 binary in computers. 

This is what Gordon Moore (the “Moore” in “Moore’s Law”) said in 2005:

In terms of size [of transistors] you can see that we're approaching the size of atoms which is a fundamental barrier, but it'll be two or three generations before we get that far—but that's as far out as we've ever been able to see. We have another 10 to 20 years before we reach a fundamental limit. By then they'll be able to make bigger chips and have transistor budgets in the billions.

Just as he predicted, in 2015 transistors slowed to a crawl. The amount of technology we can pack into your phone is probably as good as it gets until we ditch computers altogether.

The technology needed to simulate the universe would require more matter than the universe holds

I’m not really gonna explain this one. I kind of did it above.

This section is just for the nerds. This will not make sense to people who aren’t nerds. You can skip it.

Perfect time to say that quantum computing will be a thing in the future probably. But even that would likely have to be simulated because the only way to get real quantum computer is to have the computers be kept at near 0 Kelvin which reaching 0 Kelvin is considered at this time to be impossible. So we can’t even perfectly do that until we do the impossible. 

And if we’re simulating quantum bits by rapidly gating between 0 and 1, we still run into the issue of computers being fundamentally deterministic (i.e. unable to achieve True Random). 

I’m not even sure we’ll be able to conceptualize quantum computers as “computers”. Their use would obliterate our entire digital infrastructure and a user’s understanding of how to interface with one. We might be able to do simulations with it, but we’ve found that quantum computers are actually pretty bad at doing things that our binary computers do pretty well. Like harnessing randomness from mother nature, we’d likely end up with a hybrid system where deterministic results are created by truly random quantum computers to be fed into a deterministic interface. 

You are reading this post which is eliciting thoughts and feelings

Buried the lead on this one. This is what I really wanted to talk about. You are having thoughts about this post. Feelings. 

Computers don’t do that. They won’t do that. 

Fun fact about when you let AI talk to another AI: They completely transcend human understanding. Just like you come up with shorthand references like “yeet” that confuse boomers. AI will ultimately begin to develop language like that Dueling Carls video.

(Please god turn down your video before watching)

It’s almost hilarious how well this video demonstrates exactly what computers do. They start at the level of human understanding and then faster than you can blink, they ascend beyond what we could ever hope to conceptualize. The things about Facebook’s chatbots aren’t true of course, but they held a seed of truth.

AI will exist on another level. 

This is because computers (like humans) are greedy. They use the fewest possible resources to reach the same goal. If you programmed a computer to simulate the universe, then it would try to take shortcuts where it could. 

The fact that some people can think visually (seeing “pictures” in their mind) and others can’t really demonstrates that humans aren’t simulated. Or even further, did you know that humans really do have a 6th sense? It’s your ability to know where your body is when you can’t see it. Called propioception. 

We know it exists because people can be born without it. When they close their eyes they physically can no longer use their limbs. It’s genetic. 

Why would a computer account for these things? It’s made it harder to simulate a gene for propioception. Well, maybe the humans who programmed it, told it to account for that. 

Then why are you having thoughts about this post? Why read it at all? It’s going to get what... 5 notes? Why account for you at all. It can have you do things without that “inner voice” that’s reading these words. It doesn’t have to give you intention behind your actions. So then humans made it give you intention. 

Humans telling a computer to create humanity. And having to account for every single little thing. Telling it not to ignore the nuances of all human existence. 

Why would we do that unless we wanted to simulate our entire human history? 

How would we simulate all of our history if we didn’t know everything that everyone ever thought or felt? 

If you are a simulation, then you are memory of someone who is real. 

Finally, I talk about the proof we have reality isn’t a simulation

If you skipped to here, you’re going to be really disappointed. The math is complicated. You can read it here. 

Here’s a summary of their findings. 

In summary, we suggested that nontrivial gravitational/geometrical responses can be identified with obstructions to sign-free local QMC simulations. First, we pointed out that geometrical perturbations are unique in this context because they can always be added to a classical partition function without introducing complex phases or signs. Then, we established that having a global gravitational anomaly on an edge of a gapped system, as is the case for most fractional quantum Hall phases, implies a sign problem. The same argument extends to frustrated quantum magnets that support a chiral spin liquid phase, although here, some additional microscopic assumptions are currently required. Last, we pointed out that sign problems in critical 2D oriented loop models are also associated with a coupling of charge to curvature. Curiously, tensor network–based numerical approaches, for which the sign problem is irrelevant by construction, also struggle with simulating FQHE states (in the thermodynamic limit). This raises an intriguing connection between gravity and computational complexity via sign problems.

The point is that storing a single matrix of 20 spins of a quantum particle requires a terabyte of data. We’d run out of universe before we made even a small simulation. 

[hockeylvr59]

Bruises Part 2 || Mat Barzal

Requested: [x] yes [ ] no

Authors Note: So it’s been a year since I posted the first part of this and back then people asked me for a second part. It took me a while...I had three pages worth of this sitting stagnant in a word doc for six months...but for anyone that may still be interested here you are. I can say for certain that this is the end of this one. I can’t really think of a better way to end it than you’ll find below and hopefully, this answers a few of the many questions that were posed after part one. My heart aches just a little knowing that this piece is finally finished because it’s an intense one and there is certainly a little part of me embedded into it. I’d love to know what you guys think about it because it is certainly different than a lot of my other writings. 

Warnings: discussions about domestic violence, cursing 

Word Count: 4,151

~~~~~~

Around 4am you awoke again, the steady throbbing in your side having returned full force. Clearly, the medicine you’d taken had worn off. Gingerly sliding out of Mat’s bed, you attempted to stand, quickly throwing a hand over your mouth in an attempt to silence your cries of agony caused by the change in position. Grabbing your phone to use its screen as a mild flashlight you glanced back to Mat, thankful that he hadn’t woken. You’d caused enough trouble already and he needed a full night’s rest. 

Five minutes later you had managed to tiptoe the fifteen feet to the downstairs bathroom, quickly closing the door and flipping on the light to search for the pain medicine you hoped Mat kept there. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for your eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room and once they had you quickly spotted the bottle of extra strength ibuprofen. Taking two pills from the bottle, you popped them into your mouth before gathering a handful of water to help swallow. 

Since it was unlikely that you would be able to fall asleep until after the medicine kicked back in, you made your way to the couch, curling up and pulling a blanket over your lap before sending an email into the district office in order to call out sick for the day. Thankfully you were giving tests in a few of your classes, something a sub could easily administer for you and for the remaining classes you’d planned a lecture, something that you could replace with a documentary. Emailing another teacher that you were close to with a list of plans, you asked her to print it out to leave for the substitute. 

It wasn’t long after that when you heard footsteps and looking up saw Mat leaning against the door to his room looking at you with concern. 

“Are you okay?” He mumbled, his voice deep from sleep. 

“Fine Mat. Needed to call into work so they could get a sub and I took some more pain meds.” You assured him forcing as much of a smile as you could manage under the circumstances. 

“Come back to bed then…” He pleaded softly, stepping closer to you to offer a hand. 

“I might just stay here…” You whispered not wanting to concern him more with your inability to move with any sense of speed. His brows furrowed for a moment before he sighed and dropped down onto the couch next to you. Rubbing at his face he reached out to cup your cheek in his free hand. 

“I get that you don’t want to go to the hospital but please y/n...at least let me take you to our team doctor in the morning and let him check you out?” The way his thumb brushed against your skin as he stared at you, fear in his eyes made you shiver. “I know that if something was as bad as I’m thinking we’d know but I’m scared to death that you’re bleeding internally.” He admitted. 

Tears filled your eyes as you watched one of your best friends struggle with all of the drama you’d dropped into his lap. Shuffling across the couch the six inches between you and cringing all the while you nodded. 

“Fine...I’ll let you take me to the team doctor.” You agreed. “Then I need to go to the police station to file a restraining order.” 

“I won’t leave your side.” Mat swore, standing slowly before once again reaching for your hand so the two of you could go back to bed. 

“Go ahead, I’ll be behind you.” You urged him not wanting him to wait on your temporarily crippled self. When he refused to move, you bit your lip, trying to fight back the pain as you stood up again and attempted to take small steps forward. With a careful eye, Mat watched you for a minute before stepping to your good side and slipping an arm under your legs, slowly and gently lifting you into his arms. There was an initial wave of pain from being jostled, but it had faded for the most part before you even reached the bed, Mat setting you down just as carefully. 

“There you go gimpy.” He teased softly, crawling back into bed himself before wrapping his body around yours once again, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “Now try and get some more rest, it’s still ungodly early.” With his warm body surrounding you and his fingers tangled in your hair, you finally drifted back to sleep as the pain medicine kicked in, dulling your pain from a hard 8 to a 4 and a half. 

____

It was shortly after nine when your body stirred in the way that signaled you needed to get up and use the bathroom. Slowly easing yourself into a sitting position, you glanced over at the nightstand where your phone was and spotted a bottle of water and two more pain pills. Taking the pills and drinking half the bottle of water, you then slowly worked your way to the bathroom, returning to find a made bed with the sweatshirt you’d worn last night as well as a pair of drawstring sweats and an islanders t-shirt laid out on it. 

Evidently, Mat was a little ninja elf this morning as you hadn’t heard or seen him at all but clearly, he had been in and out of his room at least twice. 

The bruises on your wrist and arm didn’t look quite as bad as they had the night before as you glanced at yourself in the mirror. Your side, however, was a different story, having darkened to a deep blue almost black color. Changing clothes, you slowly made your way upstairs, finding Mat, Rebecca, and Dennis all sitting at the table eating breakfast. Thankfully the kids had already left for school so you didn’t have to worry about any prying questions. 

“How are you feeling?” Rebecca asked softly, standing up from the table with her now empty plate. “And what would you like for breakfast?” Before you could answer Mat was pulling out a chair for you to sit down next to him. 

“I’m hurting. My wrist and arm aren’t as bad but my side is another story.” You admitted, still feeling slightly ashamed for drawing all of them into your problems. 

“I’m taking her to see the team doc.” Mat added, jumping into the conversation. 

“As for breakfast, I’m not really hungry.” By the looks you were getting from everyone in the kitchen that wasn’t going to fly and so you sighed, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “Just a bowl of cereal would be fine.” Holding up choices, you nodded at the box you’d prefer and shortly after, a bowl was being placed in front of you. As you ate, Mat and Dennis talked about the game from the night before and you let out a silent sigh of relief that the conversation was about anything but you. 

After finishing breakfast, Mat asked if you were ready to go, stating that he’d drive and you could come back for your car later. Murmuring that you just needed your phone and shoes, you nodded and like a flash, Mat was back with both items. With deft fingers he slid your phone into the pocket of the sweatshirt you were wearing before he knelt down to help slide your feet into your shoes, actually doing them up properly, something you hadn’t bothered with in your frantic rush last night. 

A large part of you felt guilty that he was having to take care of you, you were sure this was the last thing he needed to deal with today. At the same time though, you were relieved that you had someone you trusted completely to rely on because you weren’t certain that you could get through this on your own. 

With a gentle hand on your lower back, Mat helped you out to his car, easing you into the vehicle as tears pooled in your eyes from the pain. The moment Mat was settled into the driver’s seat, his hand found yours and he squeezed gently. While the physical pain was unbearable, the settling emotional pain was nearly as bad and you hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying until you heard Mat curse softly from beside you. 

“Please don’t cry.” He whispered, his hand squeezing around yours more firmly as he pulled up to a red light. “I don’t know if I can handle seeing you cry.” His words were barely audible and you whimpered as you tried to fight back the tears. 

“What did I do wrong?” You questioned softly, so unsure of how a relationship that seemed so solid had crumbled into violence so quickly. The second the question left your mouth Mat was pulling the car over into a parking lot so that he could focus his attention on you. 

“Nothing... you did nothing wrong.” He insisted, his tone one of pure disbelief that your actions could have caused this. “This is all on him...please know that.” When your own expression told him that you weren’t fully convinced, Mat sighed audibly, leaning closer to drop a kiss to your forehead. “I know you don’t believe me…but I need you to at least trust me.” He stated softly. 

“I do trust you.” You responded and if nothing else said in this car was true, that was. You wouldn’t have shown up at his door last night if you hadn’t trusted him. Of all of the people in your life, you had turned to him and though you weren’t 100% sure why you knew that had to mean something. 

“Alright.” Mat eventually breathed, brushing your tears away with his thumb before turning back to the wheel and pulling the car back onto the road to take you to the Isles practice facility to see their doctor. 

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, Mat’s thumb brushing back and forth over the back of your hand until he had parked in the player’s lot. “Don’t move.” Mat instructed and you were in enough pain still that you weren’t going to argue with him on that. After opening your passenger door, Mat leaned in to undo your seatbelt, ever so gently pulling it back across your body until it was hanging loosely behind you. Then he gently reached for your feet, swinging them out of the door before offering a hand to you. Standing back up made you feel like you were being stabbed, and you practically collapsed against his chest. With his hand on your good side, Mat supported your weight until the intense pain had waned and you were able to stand on your own. 

Slowly and gingerly, Mat helped you walk into the building, guiding you down empty hallways until you reached a set of rooms occupied by the team doctor and training staff. Waiting inside the room was a younger man with reddish hair, his nose in a medical file until he heard the sounds of your footsteps approaching. 

“Morning Doc. Thanks for doing this.” Mat stated, stepping away from you just enough to reach out and shake the doctor’s hand. “This is y/n….she’s too stubborn to go to the hospital so she’s in your hands this morning. Please take care of her.” His voice had started off teasing and confidant but by the end of his statement had dropped to one of pure worry and concern. 

“Of course Mat...my pleasure.” The doctor quickly responded, introducing himself to you as Dr. Brian. Now that you were here you were worried that you should have gone to the hospital because what if something was really wrong. Knowing your anxiety could be read differently you tried to force a pained smile onto your face. Seeing your expression made the Doctor’s lips furrow and he motioned for Mat to help you over to the exam table in the room. 

“So Mat didn’t really give me any details as to what had happened...can you fill me in?” Dr. Brian asked, voice gentle as if he sensed the need to approach this treatment gingerly. 

“Um...my ex...he...he hit me.” You finally managed to stutter out a response, blinking quickly to keep the tears from pooling in your eyes again. All of this made you feel so weak and you hated that because you knew that you were supposed to be stronger than this. Though your gaze was pointed downward, you were sure that Mat and the Dr. were exchanging looks above you. After settling you onto the exam table, Mat had taken a spot at your back, there to support you if necessary and to provide moral support. 

Sensing that you would be unable to speak, Mat once again provided a voice for you. 

“She’s got bruises on her wrist and upper arm from where he grabbed her trying to keep her from getting away but it’s her side that we’re really worried about. As you can tell she can barely move and he hit her three times on the left side of her abdomen.” Reaching for a pair of gloves, Dr. Brian nodded, a pensive look on his face. 

“Alright...can we get that sweatshirt off so I can get a better look?” He questioned. You nodded and started to reach for the edge of the sweatshirt only to be stopped by the feeling of Mat’s fingers at the hem. 

“Let me help.” He murmured, insistent on trying to prevent you from experiencing as much pain as he possibly could. With Mat tugging the sweatshirt over your head, all you had to do was gingerly lift your arms up, the bulky item of clothing now resting beside you on the table. 

Approaching the table, Dr. Brian first looked at your wrist and arm, checking them for signs of a sprain or spiral fracture. After a moment he appeared to be satisfied that they were only bruised when you were able to comply with his directions on moving and twisting them without much complaint. 

“Good. Now let’s get a look at that side. Mat, if you wanna just hold her shirt up out of the way for me.” Dr. Brian requested, moving around your body to take a good look at your side. Mat hadn’t seen the bruise since last night and the moment his eyes caught sight of your skin he gasped audibly. 

“Fuck y/n…” He choked, his voice suddenly moist like he was going to start crying himself. “I seriously wanna kill the bastard.” He added, his body tensing behind you while he attempted to keep your shirt out of the doctor’s way while preserving your modesty. Mat’s distress had your breathing becoming more unsteady by the moment and once more you cursed yourself for dragging him into this. 

“Take deep breaths for me y/n.” Dr. Brian murmured as he conducted a visual examination of your side. “And you too, Mat.” He added as an afterthought. Slowly you focused your attention on breathing, knowing that losing it would only make your side hurt worse than it currently did. 

“Mat. Help me lay her back gently. Y/N I want to make sure that you aren’t bleeding internally though I feel like we would know if you were by now. This is going to hurt though and I’m sorry.” It hurting was the understatement of the year as Dr. Brian pressed as gently as he could into your side while still feeling for what he needed to. The moment he had first pressed down once you were on your right hip you cried out in pain and both men surrounding you winced. Whimpers followed as Mat ran his fingers over your scalp. Even once Dr. Brian was done, the pain lingered and you weren’t certain you’d be able to move right away. With your eyes closed, you didn’t see Dr. Brian walk across the room before returning, an ice pack wrapped in a towel in his hand. 

“She’s gonna be fine Mat.” Dr. Brian insisted as he gently laid the cold pack over your bruised side. “I’m not feeling or seeing any signs of internal bleeding. Just relax here for a few minutes with the ice pack. I’ll write up a script for a few days of a slightly heavier dosage pain killer and then you can take her to get some rest.” You were honestly glad the doctor was addressing Mat and not you because you weren’t sure your brain was capable of processing anything right now. You must have zoned out because one moment Mat was right beside you and the next he was in the corner whispering softly with the doctor. 

“Mat…” You whispered. You felt silly that even having him this far away had you feeling so unsteady but it wasn’t a feeling you were strong enough to control right now. Glancing over at the sound of your voice, Mat quickly finished up the conversation before pulling a stool over to sit right in front of you. 

“Hey...it’s okay. I’m right here.” He insisted, his fingers lacing with your own. The look in his eyes was still filled with concern but compared to just a few minutes ago, they had softened and his expression helped put you at ease. “Doc is writing up a report for you to give to the police regarding your injuries...and either you’re staying with me tonight or I’m coming to stay with you because you shouldn’t be alone just yet. Doc insists that if anything changes...if the pain gets worse than it is...that we go to the hospital.” 

You wanted to express to Mat just how grateful you were to him for being here, for putting up with all of this but there didn’t seem to be words that would be enough. This had been arguably the worst 14 hours of your life and you didn’t know if you’d be able to get through it without him. 

By the time it was time to take the ice pack off of your side, Dr. Brian had finished his report and after making a quick copy for his records, he handed off the original to Mat for safekeeping. Your prescription was also tucked safely into Mat’s pocket along with a work excuse and after getting back into your sweatshirt with instructions to try and take it easy for a few days, Mat helped you back out to his car. After a quick stop at the pharmacy to drop off the script so that you could pick it up later, you headed to the police department. You really didn’t have any idea of how this whole process worked and you were scared. Scared that no one would believe you. Scared that you would be blamed for your own injuries. Scared that even a restraining order wouldn’t keep Nick away if he truly wanted to hurt you. 

Of course, merely filing a police report wasn’t enough. After taking your report the officer had told you that you needed to go down to family court and file a “family offense petition” in order to have a restraining order issued. As if telling your story once wasn’t enough, now you had to go do it all over again before waiting for a court date where there was a possibility that you’d have to fight it out with your ex over last night’s events. 

Through both the stop to the police station and the courthouse, Mat was a saint, physically holding you up when you needed him to and letting you sob into his shoulder soaking through his shirt. There were so many things that you needed to do just to make sure that Nick couldn’t hurt you again….though there was no promise that he would even follow a restraining order...and you were overwhelmed and confused at all of it. Mat insisted that everything was going to be fine and though you weren’t sure you believed him, he’d asked you to trust him earlier and so you were going to do your best to trust him now. 

By the time you left the courthouse with a date to see a judge for a preliminary hearing in a few days, you were absolutely exhausted even though it was only two in the afternoon. As you slid back into the car once again you looked up at Mat with sad eyes. 

“Can you take me home now?” You whispered. 

“Of course.” Mat responded. “Just let me call Marty...he only lives a few blocks from your place and he can provide some backup in case we need it.” The second his words processed you shook your head, teeth biting down onto your lower lip. 

“No...take me to your home please…” You whispered, not ready to go back to your own place yet. Today had been so emotionally exhausting that anything more was going to push you over the limit of what you could handle without completely falling apart. Mat quickly nodded in understanding and you felt his thumb brush against your cheek before he climbed back into the car himself. 

“Is there anything you want from your place though?” He asked softly. “I can get you settled back into bed and then run over to your place when I go out for your prescription…” Softly you murmured that you would love some clean underwear at least as well as your personal hygiene products and Mat squeezed your hand once more, silently assuring you that he would do whatever it took to make you comfortable again. 

Arriving back at the Seidenberg residence, Mat helped you from the car for what was hopefully the last time today. As the two of you walked inside, Danielle simply sent a weak smile your way, no one needing to even ask if it was okay if you stayed another night. 

By the time you reached Mat’s bedroom in the basement, you were completely exhausted and though your side was still throbbing, the second your head hit the pillows of Mat’s bed you were passed out, your body seeking an escape from the pain. 

___

You didn’t stir until you felt fingers brushing through your hair ever so gently. When your eyes opened to reveal Mat, you sent him as much of a smile as you could. It had been almost an hour and a half already from when you laid down and as you blinked away the sleepiness you realized that Mat had a glass of water, your prescription, and a string cheese in hand knowing that you hadn’t eaten since breakfast and would likely get sick if you took the strong medicine on a completely empty stomach. 

Sitting up as much as you could, you took each item from him in turn until they were all gone. Even though sleeping so much meant that you probably wouldn’t sleep tonight, your body still wanted nothing more than to roll back over and close your eyes. Sensing that you had no intention of getting up, Mat rounded the bed and slipped out of his own jeans before climbing in with you and wrapping you gently in his arms. 

Laying in silence until the medicine started to kick in making you groggy once more, you found yourself whispering softly as you drifted to sleep. 

“I don’t deserve you.” Your statement was met by Mat nuzzling his nose into your hair, his warm breath spreading over your cheeks. 

“You’ve got that the other way around.” He murmured back. “Plus...you don’t have to deserve me for me to love you...that’s not the way love works.” 

Though you were nearly asleep, you were awake enough to hear him and his words were certainly going to be a topic of conversation later. As if he knew a more conscious you would protest he continued. 

“I know today has been beyond shitty and that my timing is far from great but I need you to know that I love you, y/n and I will wait for however long it takes for you to feel the same way. And if you never do that’s okay too...but I need you to know that I will always be here for you. You deserve nothing but to be loved and adored and whether I get to do that as a friend or something more...I’m going to make sure that you know that every day from here on out. There is no bruise that I won’t be here to help heal.” 

Though it may take some time for both your physical and emotional bruises to heal, knowing that Mat was waiting...well, you couldn’t ask for anything more.