#how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!!

[lancermylove]

Body Swap (HC)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: DB x fem!Reader

Warning: None

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Can you do a body swap headcanon with demon brothers? So basically female MC swap body with one of the brothers

A/N: Hope you like it! Anon, who requests the N.SFW version of this. I don't write for gender bender, especially with 18+ HCs. This one is an exception because it's more emotional and comedic, so sorry!

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Lucifer

Lucifer is the most mature in handling the body swap incident. He doesn't make a big deal about having to deal with being in a woman's body, even though he secretly feels uncomfortable.

If you set any rules for him, he will gladly follow them as it is your body, and Lucifer does not intend to take advantage of it.

He asks Solomon and Barbatos to help resolve this situation as soon as possible. But for some reason, he can be himself without feeling pressured to uphold his title.

On the other hand, you don't like openly showing your emotions, even more than usual. You also feel the pressure of being prideful. It almost feels like things are out of your hands. You don't want to be prideful, but the universe forces you to behave that way. Is this how Lucifer always feels as the Avatar of Pride? Your ego also gets wounded more than usual.

But you can finally take off your...Lucifer's shirt...and get to see the scars of his wings firsthand.

Most of all, you enjoy ordering others around. Even though the brothers know that you are not Lucifer, they still get intimated since you are using the first brother's body.

You would have taken full advantage of this by transforming into Lucifer's demon form, but he already warned you not to do that by threatening you with a tough punishment once you two switch back.

Mammon

He is embarrassed! Why did he switch bodies with you? How is he supposed to sleep and go to the bathroom and stuff? Just the thought of undressing makes his mind explode.

When you suggest using a blindfold or closing his eyes, Mammon tries his best to do things without peeking at your body, even though a part of him is tempted. But no! Respect is more important.

Meanwhile, you have the sudden urge to hoard valuable things and 'borrow' things from others, and the most prominent thing in your mind is money. Money, money, and MONEY!

You feel your greed levels rising and have a hard time to control. Sometimes, you have to talk to Mammon to figure out the best way to control your destructive urges.

"Now, y'know how I feel..."

Those words hit you hard, and you forgive him for everything he has ever done.

While you were protective of the younger brothers before, you have a devastating urge to sacrifice yourself for them, even though your...Mammon's body trembles at the thought of what punishment Lucifer will give him.

You make a mental note to help Mammon get out of punishments in the future when you switch back.

Levi

Absolutely refuses to do anything and sits in his room in a fetal position. He can't even bring himself to go to the bathroom or take a bath. Even if you tell him to clean your body, he will refuse.

Though, Levi feels lighter because he can think more clearly being away from his demonic body. It's almost like he can think more clearly.

For some reason, you start to feel jealous of everything...every little thing to the point where it makes you feel down and suffocated. When you start crying from the feeling, Levi panics and tries to calm you down. After calming down, you realize that he always feels this way - no wonder Levi is always down. You give him (your body) a tight hug, making him blush profusely.

Unfortunately for the brothers, when you become aggravated due to an argument between them, your emotions accidentally summon Lotan. However, the brothers don't blame you for it, and Levi finally realizes how scary it is for the others when he calls Lotan out of nowhere.

You spend the most time in Levi's room and get into a habit of changing into his demon form and wrapping his tail around him (your body) just to get a reaction out of him.

This experience brings you two much closer than before, and Levi trusts you far more than before.

Satan

Oh my Devildom, he doesn't feel angry, even when triggered. This feeling is very difficult for him to get used to, but it's a refreshing change. However, he constantly reminds himself that this is only temporary and that he should not get used to it.

He is also mature about the body swap and does his best to respect your body as best as possible. Even though Satan won't admit it, he finds the experience fascinating and finally understands how a woman's body works. Although, he will never get used to random body aches, especially random lower back pain.

You, on the other hand, are not so fortunate. You feel like you are a ticking time bomb of anger. One little mishap, and you feel like destroying everything around you. Satan tries his best to pacify you, but it doesn't work all the time. At times, Beel and Lucifer have to restrain you after you have a rage episode. Then, you profusely apologize and nearly break into tears. It's a vicious cycle.

This makes you realize just how hard Satan has to work to keep his anger in check, and Satan realizes how difficult it is for his brothers to control him when he gets angry.

Once you switch back, you are tempted to tell Satan to meditate, but the thought of a demon meditating is hilarious yet odd.

Asmo

Asmo is the only one who is excited about the body switch. He doesn't feel uncomfortable in any way and actually enjoys being in your body. He has always wanted to see what it feels like to be a woman.

Even though Asmo is in your body, he has the urge to fix every skin problem you have. If you don't have any, he will continue to take care of your skin for you. He may even go as far as to develop a skincare routine tailored to you. If the two of you stay switched for a long time, he will whip your skin into perfect shape.

Meanwhile, even though you feel beautiful in Asmo's body, there is always a voice in the back of your head that whispers 'what-if' scenarios. What if you stop being beautiful? What if you get breakouts? What if no one loves you? What if others think you are unattractive? The pressure to be beautiful is suffocating. A part of you feels very bad for Asmo and can finally understand why he has to be beautiful at all times.

One thing makes you very uncomfortable, and that is Asmo's urge for desire. His avatar needs physical affection all the time. The thought of getting close to someone in Asmo's body is very disturbing, so he helps you out by cuddling with you whenever you need to get close to someone. At least you are hugging your own body...which is still odd to think about but better than the alternate option.

Beel

He doesn't like the feeling of being shorter and less muscular, but that doesn't stop him from working out. However, you will have to remind him not to start with heavy exercises if you don't work as much as him.

Most of all, he feels odd not having to think about eating 24/7. He can actually focus on other things, and it's a nice change. But he does miss eating endlessly solely for the taste of good food.

Meanwhile, you feel like devouring the entire world's food supply. Nothing you eat, no matter how much and how heavy, satisfies you.

You cannot focus on anything except food. The worst part is that Beel forces you to exercise, following his normal routine. He doesn't want his body to be out of shape.

On the plus side, you can see over most people's heads. You will never lose anyone in a crowd. Also, you have a great deal of strength to the point where you can lift an entire house if you want.

For the time you are in Beel's body, you act like a superhero, saving everyone from the bullies and villains. All you need to do is grab them by their shirt and lift them off the ground with one hand. That is enough to make them petrified.

You also get the pleasure of flexing in front of the mirror and admiring Beel's rock-hard muscles to your heart's content.

Belphie

He finds the situation hilarious and doesn't seem to care. Belphie almost has a 'it is what it is' reaction. Initially, he thinks his sloth-like nature will pass to your body but soon realizes that he has a lot more energy to do anything and everything he wants.

Belphie decides to use this chance to fulfill this bucket list before he returns to his sleepy body. Of course, he drags you with him everything, much to your dismay.

You feel sleepy, lazy, and lethargic. No matter how much you sleep, it's never enough. Your brain always feels hazy to the point where you can't even think straight. How does Belphie constantly put up with this? No wonder he sleeps most of the day.

You secretly try to consume caffeine products, but nothing works to keep you awake. Sometimes, Beel has to carry you around because you get into a habit of falling asleep anywhere at any time.

Though you don't tell Belphie, you are secretly happy to return to your body. A part of you doesn't feel like sleeping for days as you got all the sleep you needed in the few days you were in Belphie's body.

----

Epilogue:

After you switch back, you finally understand why the brothers behave the way they do. While you don't say it aloud, you believe the avatars are more curses than anything else. However, you learn to sympathize with them more. How do they deal with the curse every day? They are strong.

So, the next time Lucifer gets prideful, Mammon gets greedy, Levi gets jealous, Satan gets angry, Asmo goes on about beauty, Beel eats endlessly, and Belphie dozes off, you don't get mad at them. All you do is hug them and tell them, "It's okay."

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[serpentandlily]

Untouchable IV - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister! Reader ✨

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court's spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he'd eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on-with Elain, your brother's mate's middle sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that - more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst

a/n: ahhh guys I literally love all of you so much. Thanks for all the love and support on this story!! Hope you enjoy this one just as much!

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IV

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You stared at yourself in the mirror, quite happy with that way you looked. You were getting ready to make a trip to Hewn City with the rest of the Inner Circle, so you could be announced as their new Overseer. Already donning your mask, a mask you wore just as well as your brother could. You were, after all, raised by the same cruel, unflinching male. After your father died, Rhys had made sure to continue teaching you how to handle the unsavory parts of the Night Court as best he could. 

So you had put on a dress that demanded attention. It was Night Court black, of course, with a halter top bodice that connected to a high neck collar. Starting from just below your breasts, the dress was cut into two panels to cover your front and back, laced together with a black ribbon on the sides. It clung to your curves and showed off more skin than you usually did. 

The entire side of your legs, your hip bone and waist, all exposed and accentuated by the dress. Some kohl liner brought your star-flecked, violet eyes to life. Your hair was curled and spilled down your back freely. You felt beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. The Princess of Night. 

You finished the look with the diadem your brother had given you. It was made of Illyrian metal with dark red jewels decorating the intricately twisted vines. It was perfect for the Court of Nightmares. 

As you made your way down the stairs, you could already feel the disapproving stare of your brother. Only him and Cassian were waiting in the foyer. Cass was in his Illyrian leathers and your brother was wearing a finely tailored black coat and pants with his own crown on his head. 

“Nice try, dove,” Rhys chided. “Go back upstairs and change into the dress I had Nuala lay out for you this morning.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No. I bought this one specifically for today and I’m going to wear it.”

“No, you’re not.” Cass snorted as Rhys tried to assert his dominance. “Go change. Now.” 

“No. I’m wearing this. You can’t make me change my mind.”

“Oh, I can make you,” your brother sneered. He could, you supposed, use his High Lord voice to order you to change. And then you literally wouldn’t be able to refuse.

Before he could though, you shouted for his mate. “Feyre!”

Your High Lady and sister-in-law walked into the room with a baby Nyx on her hip. She was wearing a beautiful, glimmering black dress that fell in a deep v to her navel. Slits on both sides of the skirt exposing her legs and a twin crown to the one Rhys was wearing sat on her head. Nyx was also dressed in black with a tiny version of their crown on his own head. The sight of them both was too adorable. 

“What’s going on out here?” Feyre asked, sliding up to Rhys’s side. He strung an arm around her, pulling her and his son close. 

You gave your brother a cheeky grin. “Your mate wants me to go change because he’s a big, overprotective, insufferable bat.” 

Your brother glared at you as Feyre smacked his arm. “Leave your sister alone, Rhys. She can wear whatever she wants.” 

The two of you shared a smile as Rhys let out a sigh of annoyance. “You know, I thought having a mate meant always having someone on your side. I would’ve never brought you here if I knew you’d end up conspiring with my sister against me all the time.” 

“You're lucky you ended up with such a smart, beautiful mate that can check you before you embarrass yourself, Rhysie,” you laughed as Feyre stuck her tongue out at him. Rhys scoffed at both of you as you giggled with each other at his reaction. 

“What are you guys giggling about out here?” Mor and Nesta walked into the room, both dressed as finely as everyone else. 

Feyre started to answer Mor but your attention drifted as Azriel appeared in the shadow of the hallway, striding towards the group. He was wearing his Illyrian leathers like Cass, all seven of his cobalt siphons on display. Azriel always looked intimidating, but even more so today as his leathers clung to his muscles and highlighted the lethality of his stone-cut face.  

His eyes immediately locked onto yours and widened as he took you in. His gaze dipped down and roamed your entire body and when he looked back up, his eyes were filled with hunger and heat, before he blinked and his cold mask was back on. You gave him no reaction, merely glancing away from him as if his presence had no effect on you. But the butterflies in your stomach begged otherwise. 

Elain came walking down the stairs at the same time, dressed in black yet way more modestly than the rest of you. You couldn’t help but notice how out of place she looked.

“You’re coming?” Nesta asked, peering at Elain in surprise. “I thought Hewn City was far too much for you delicate sensibilities.” 

Mor snorted as Elain scowled at her sister. “I’m only coming to show my support for y/n.”

She smiled at you and you gave her a grateful nod. Even if you were jealous of her for winning over the shadowsinger, you’d never blame her for him being an asshole. You also didn’t want Azriel to know you were bothered about it. You might not be as prideful as your brother was, but you’d rather suffer in complete silence than let anyone think they’ve made you feel insecure. Perhaps it was a family trait.  

“I’ve had your stuff, and Azriel’s, sent over to the Moonstone Palace already,” Rhys said as everyone congregated. “So you can spend the rest of the week getting situated with your new role as planned.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But I already asked Cass to be my escort and he agreed–”

“Cassian forgot he has other duties that I already assigned to him this week.” 

Cassian gave you a sheepish look and you let out a huff. “What about Balthazar?”

Balthazar was the Illyrian warrior who had helped Nesta and Emerie during the Blood Rite. He now worked closely with training the Illyrian females and helping them merge with the Valkyries. He was a good male and an excellent warrior—but more importantly, he wasn’t Azriel. 

You could feel Azriel’s stare as you kept your focus on your brother. He waved a dismissive hand. “Azriel’s already agreed and I’d rather him guard over my sister than some untested Illyrian.” 

Your hands clenched, annoyed but you nodded, not wanting your brother to get suspicious. With that, your brother winnowed the group to the gates leading into the Court of Nightmares. You took your place behind Feyre and Rhysand and Azriel slid into the space next to you as your designated guard, apparently. You managed to keep your stare straight forward as you began to walk towards the throne room.

Azriel took a step closer to you, his shadows cascading around your ankles. “Do you hate my presence so much now that you’d rather some random brute take my place as your guardian?” he muttered under his breath.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one who told me to stay away from you. I’m only doing as you asked. And Balthazar is not some random brute. He is a friend.” 

“Since when?” he hissed.

“Not that it's any of your business, but I had been helping with the training of the Illyrian females before I left for the continent. Balthazar is another one of the trainers.” 

Azriel said nothing else as your group finally entered the throne room. You could feel the stares of all the fae in the room, likely wondering why the High Lord had called for a party. You followed Rhys and Feyre to the dais, where Azriel held out a gloved hand to help you up the steps. You grabbed it, not wanting to embarrass him in front of a bunch of vultures who already thought of him as less than, and took your place behind Rhys’s throne. 

You and Feyre were the two people in your brother’s life that he had vowed would never have to bow to anyone. And he took that quite seriously. So while everyone else was forced to lower themselves to the ground, you stood at his side. 

You glanced at the crowd of people in the throne room. Your eyes widened as you noticed Eris next to Keir. You hadn’t been expecting him.

“You can rise now,” Feyre said after leaving them on the floor for a few moments. 

And then it was time for the big announcement. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The party was in full swing, music playing, faeries dancing. Despite their despise for their High Lord, the fae down here took any excuse to get up to some debauchery. You still remained at the dais next to your brother, Azriel now a step behind you, like the guardian he was supposed to be. 

Cassian stood on the other side of the dais by Feyre with Nesta, both ready to protect her and baby Nyx should they have to. Mor had claimed a table where she and Elain now sat, the latter looking uncomfortable as she peered around at the party taking place. 

Keir stood before Rhys and Feyre, a forced look of respect on his face. It seemed to almost pain him and you had to hide your grin. 

“My Lord, if I may ask, why have you decided to pass along the role of Overseer to someone as young and unpracticed as your sister?” Keir asked, his voice full of condescension. “And to do so without any input from me. It seems like an insult to us in this court—to not have one of our own be a representation for Hewn City.” 

“I think you forget yourself, Keir,” Rhys sneered. “Me and your High Lady make every decision for this court and we certainly don’t require your input nor your opinions. You will show my sister respect. She is more than capable of what her title requires of her.” 

“Can you blame me, my Lord, for having my doubts? Your sister has never dealt with court politics. It might be naive to place her in such a position.” 

You took a step forward, standing tall as you looked down at your uncle. “You seem to forget, uncle, that I was the one who ran the Night Court during my brother’s absence for fifty years. You also seem to forget that your daughter’s mercy is the only reason you are still standing here today. Watch your mouth or perhaps you will find that I do not share the same leniency towards you as she does.” 

Keir’s face twisted into an ugly scowl, but he did the smart thing by keeping his mouth shut. Though his eyes flickered towards the shadowsinger over your shoulder and a bit of fear flashed through him. Luckily, he didn’t hold your attention for long as a redhead suddenly appeared in front of you, at the bottom of the platform’s steps. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Eris purred, holding out his hand to you. His eyes roamed down the length of your body before they met yours. Your brother’s hands tightened on his throne’s arm rests but one look from Feyre kept his mouth shut. 

You placed your hand in his, blushing slightly as he leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand. “Would you allow me the honor of being your first dance tonight, Princess?”

Azriel growled in warning from behind you but you ignored him, instead looking towards your brother. He gave you a slight dip of the head as permission to leave your post, so you let Eris help you down the steps. 

Eris escorted you to the dance floor just as a new song began. You let Eris begin to lead you through the dance, one hand in his and the other one on his shoulder, as his free arm looped around your waist.

“It is a surprise to see Rhysand finally letting his coveted little bird out of her cage,” Eris whispered into your ear as he twirled you around the dance floor, a devilish smirk on his face.

“He can be persuaded,” you whispered back with a feline smile of your own.

“Does that have anything to do with a shadowsinger who looks like he wants to kill me more than usual?”

As he spun you around, you couldn’t help but glance at Azriel. He had moved from his post closer to the dance floor, to keep you and Eris in his line of sight.

His eyes were narrowed, his shadows spiraling around him like snakes ready to strike, as he watched you dance with Eris. You wanted to roll your eyes at his behavior. He didn’t get to be a complete asshole to you and then act all protective. 

“It has nothing to do with the shadowsinger,” you answered, gasping as Eris yanked you closer just in time to get out of the way of another couple drunkenly dancing. “It was all my negotiating that got me my new title. So I suppose I’ll be seeing a lot more of you now?” 

“It seems so, my Lady,” Eris crooned.

His amber eyes flashed to something over your shoulder and based on the smirk that spread on his face, that something was probably a certain shadowsinger. He met your gaze again, mischief sparkling on his face. 

“In fact, there is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with Mor in private, but I guess now that would be you, wouldn't it?” 

You nodded, peering around and noting Rhys and Feyre distracted by a line of couriers vying for their attention. Keir was off in a dark corner conversing with a male you recognized as Lord Thanatos. You looked back at Eris and he quirked an eyebrow. “It appears most everyone has their hands occupied right now. Shall we seek somewhere private after this?” 

Eris leaned down, his warm breath brushing against your ear. “I’d like that very much, Princess.” 

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes as he stood back up with a charming grin on his face. “You are as much of a flirt as your brother is,” you chided, waiting for the song to end so you could make your exit without drawing attention. 

“Don’t tell me you’re referring to little Lucien? Doesn’t he have a mate he's still pining after?” 

As you were spun again, you glanced back at Azriel, whose arms were crossed as he continued to glare in your direction. Good, you were glad he was upset. 

“Not lately,” you answered. It was true; Lucien rarely came around if Elain was present. He seemed to have given up on trying to win her attention for the time being. Perhaps he had also noticed the growing interest between her and Azriel. 

“Well I say good for him,” Eris chuckled. “A Vanserra has never had to beg a female for her heart. They merely present it to us on a platter.” 

“You are so full of it, Eris.” 

The music finally lulled to a stop and Eris let go of you, holding out his arm instead. “Allow me to prove it to you, Princess.”

You slipped a hand into the crevice of his elbow as you dipped out of the throne room before anyone could notice. Just as you had stepped into the corridor, a cold hand wrapped around your upper arm, halting the both of you. You already knew who it was before you turned around.

Azriel was seething as he glanced between the two of you. “You aren’t supposed to go anywhere without an escort, y/n. You know that.” 

You glanced at him as if he were inconveniencing you, though you knew he had followed. “I have one,” you replied, nodding your head towards Eris, who gave the shadowsinger a cunning smirk. 

“He doesn’t count,” Azriel hissed.

“Fine, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re here,” you shrugged before turning back around and leading Eris down the hallway. “Come, I know a private place we can go to.” 

You chatted with Eris as you walked, completely ignoring the angry bat that followed one step behind. Azriel was really starting to confuse you further. What the hell was he so upset about when he made his choice in Elain so clear? 

You took them down a dark, narrowed hall that looked like it was a dead end but a door appeared as you approached. It was just another secret meeting room. There were many in this court and you were familiar with most. You let Eris enter first and stood in the threshold blocking Azriel’s way. 

“Thank you, Azriel,” you said politely. “But I have it from here.” 

Azriel looked at you and then over your shoulder at Eris, his eyes full of icy rage. “Your brother has ordered me to stay with you at all times, y/n. Especially in the case of being around someone who may wish you harm.”

Eris snorted and you glanced back at him. “Hm Eris, do you plan on harming me?” 

“I was hoping to do quite the opposite, Princess.” His voice was full of wicked promise. 

Azriel growled lowly and the noise sent a shiver down your spine that you fought to cover up. “See, there’s no need for you here,” you chimed and then before he could even take a step forward, you slammed the door in his face and locked it. You quickly threw up a ward knowing he’d still try to spy with his shadows. 

Eris chuckled as he sat down on one of the plush couches. You took a seat on the one opposite, conjuring up a tray with two empty glasses and a bottle of expensive liquor on the coffee table between you. 

“So, what is it you wanted to discuss?” you asked as you poured the both of you a glass.

“Oh, there is nothing of importance for us to discuss. I just quite enjoy getting a rise out of the shadowsinger and for some reason, he seems to be particularly bothered with my proximity to you.” Eris crossed his legs and threw his arm around the back of the couch. The perfect picture of a male proud of himself. “Thank you for unintentionally helping me in my quest. I’m sure your shadowsinger thinks I’m trying to seduce you in here.”

“Are you serious?” you scoffed. “You pulled me from enjoying my own party just to make Azriel upset?”

“Oh please, we both know no one enjoys the parties down here.” He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “And it wasn’t the only reason. It's not very often that Rhys lets his little sister be in the presence of those he considered unsavory. Perhaps I am interested in your company as well.” 

“Well you’ve got my full, undivided attention now,” you replied, sitting back against the couch with your glass in your hand. 

Eris grabbed his glass as well, twirling it in his hand as he studied you. “So, tell me, why is it that the shadowsinger is pacing back and forth in front of the door, cursing me under his breath, as we speak?” 

“He’s an overprotective, Illyrian bat. Just like my brother and Cassian,” you said in dismissal. 

“Hm, I’m not quite sure that’s the only reason.”

“You seem to have an obsession with Azriel, Eris. Do you want me to put in a good word for you?” You gave him a brazen smile. 

“Alright, little bird, I’ll drop it. I’m far more interested in the beautiful female sitting in front of me as it is.” You hated that your cheeks turned pink at his words. Eris was handsome with his red hair and amber eyes. Even his scent of cinnamon and vetiver was enticing. But he just wasn’t Azriel. “Will you indulge me in a game of chess as we chat?”

Glad to move on from the subject, you did just that. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Alright, that’s enough—”

You were nearly three rounds deep in a game of chess when the door burst open and Azriel came stalking inside. You jumped a bit at the intrusion as Eris’s focus stayed on the chessboard like he had anticipated this. 

You looked up at the shadowsinger who was panting, his hair in disarray. His eyes widened as he took in the casual scene of you and Eris playing a game of chess. You raised an eyebrow at him but he only continued to glower at Eris. 

“Enough of what, shadowsinger?” Eris asked nonchalantly as he moved one of his chess pieces. 

“Enough of whatever the fuck you guys are doing,” Azriel huffed before looking at you with his arms crossed. “You’re needed back in the throne room. Now.” 

You very much doubted that, but decided to play along. You were losing this game anyways. You set your glass down on the table and stood, straightening out your gown. “Apologies, Eris, but apparently, duty calls.” 

Eris stood as well, gathering his coat that he had discarded at one point. “I should be getting back before my father grows suspicious anyways. I would very much like to do this again, Princess, if you’ll have me,” he said, grasping your hand and pressing a kiss to it like he did before. 

You gave him a slight dip of the head. “You know where to find me.”

He said his goodbyes, not without throwing a smirk in Azriel’s direction, before he disappeared, leaving only some crackling embers in his wake. You went to leave the room but Azriel reached an arm over your head and shut the door right in your face. You let out a disgruntled noise and turned around to Azriel towering over you, his gaze darkened.

“I thought I was needed in the throne room,” you said, sarcastically. 

He ignored you, keeping one hand on the door to keep it closed as he watched you. “So, you’re into Eris now? He’s a dangerous male, y/n.” 

“I think I can decide that for myself,” you snapped. “Maybe I am interested in him. What does it matter to you?”

He took a step closer, boxing you in against the door much like he had done that night. “I already told you it matters to me.” 

“You also told me to stay away from you. So why did you agree to be my guard for the next week? Why the fuck are you here?”

“Because someone has to watch over you! Especially when you decide to go strutting around in a dress like this,” he growled. “Tell me something, Princess, just who exactly did you have in mind when you put this on?”

His gloved hand trailed up the side of your thigh, to where the dress was held together with ribbon. You hated how much your skin tingled at his touch, hated the butterflies that arose in your stomach at his heated stare. Hating how your heart picked up its pace.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “If you’re implying that it was you I was thinking of, Azriel, then I’d say you think far too highly of yourself.”

“Your body says otherwise,” he growled, leaning down to whisper in your ear. 

You put both your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “No, no! You don’t get to do this, Azriel! You came to me. You came to my balcony, almost kissed me, and then disappeared for days! And then the next time I saw you, you had your tongue down Elain’s throat before running off to go fuck eachother.” 

“I didn’t fuck Elain,” he grunted. “I’ve never fucked Elain.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” 

“No…I don’t know—fuck!” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

“I did as you said. I left you alone like you wanted,” you spat at him. “You cannot come back to me and cast any sort of judgment on who I wish to spend my time with. You can’t come to me and act like you want me now. You had your chance and you were the one who walked away. So why won’t you just leave me alone?” 

You said the words but your heart was screaming the opposite. All you wanted was to grab him, to kiss him, to continue where you guys had left off that night. You can tell in the way he stared at you that he wanted the same. But you deserved better than that—better than this. 

“Because I can’t. I can’t stay away from you,” Azriel said. He looked unhinged, desperate. As if your mere presence caused him such conflict. His eyes were pleading you for something, but you had no idea what he even wanted. He was so hot and cold. 

So you squared your shoulders and straightened the crown on your head. 

“Well, that's your problem not mine,” you said before finally leaving the room.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Gods, the last few days had been draining. Dealing with Keir was a headache without having to also be around the brooding shadowsinger. You two hadn’t spoken to each other besides small words in passing and you tried to ignore his heavy gaze most of the time. The rest of your family had returned to Velaris after the party, leaving just you two to occupy the Moonstone Palace. Thankfully it was a rather big place which made it easier to avoid Azriel. 

But you still had half a week left with him here. 

You sank yourself further down in the bathtub, twisting your wine glass in your hand. You had a lot to think about. Your brother was crafting a response to Prince Cedric and needed your input of whether you wished to get to know him better, if you felt anything towards him. Eris had also sent you a letter today. Apparently this time he actually did have something of importance to share with you, but had also admitted to wishing to see you again. 

Perhaps it was time to move on from Azriel. Prince Cedric was handsome and kind, with his wavy blonde hair and cerulean eyes. But he lived on the continent, would eventually rule there, and you didn’t know if you could live so far away from your brother, nephew and soon to be niece. 

And then there was Eris. All the Vanserra males were annoyingly attractive and one day soon, he’d be the High Lord of Autumn. But he was complex. Half the time you didn’t even know which mask was his real personality. Was he really a kind male underneath that cruel armor he wore? Not to mention his past with your cousin.

You sighed and drank the rest of your wine before getting out of the bath. You pulled on your silk nightgown, the Palace charmed too warm to wear anything else to sleep, and dried your hair with some magic. It was late and you figured it was safe enough now to wonder about—figuring Azriel was asleep or at the very least, in his own bed chambers. 

You made your way down the vast corridors until you ended up right in front of the double doors leading into the study. Your brain was restless right now, but maybe some reading would help. You pushed the doors open and immediately wanted to curse the Mother. Of course you would jinx yourself. Of course the shadowsinger would be in the study already. 

Azriel looked up as the doors opened, his eyes finding yours. He looked…rough. His hair was in disarray, his eyes shadowed, and an almost empty bottle of whiskey sat on the small table in front of the armchair he was sitting in. You stood there for a moment, both staring at each other, until the doors slamming closed behind you made you jump. 

You let out a sigh and turned around, ready to leave, when his voice stopped you. “Don’t…Don’t leave. Please.” 

The desperation in his voice made you pause and you studied the intricate doors in front of you. You should leave. You absolutely should walk through those doors and go back to your private bed chambers. But…But this tension between the two of you was a dark cloud lingering over you. You had never had a contentious relationship with anyone in the Inner Circle. 

So you stayed, turning around and letting out a gasp as you came face to face with Azriel. You hadn’t even heard him move, hadn’t heard him even get up. You placed a hand over your heart and took a step back, putting more distance between the two of you.

He reached for you but you took another step back, sniffing the air. “You’re drunk, Az.”

“I know,” he said, darkly. “But I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t do anything when I know how upset you are with me. I hate it, y/n. I hate that I’ve hurt you.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, upset. How could he be taking this so poorly when he was the one who caused all of this? You said nothing, just stared at him expectantly.  

“Princess…” he trailed off, staring down at you with melancholy eyes. “I…Can we please just forget about the past week? I can’t stand you being upset with me. Can we just…go back to how things used to be—before all of this?”

“How?” you breathed out. “How am I just supposed to forget?” 

How could you forget the hurt he had caused you…how could you erase the image of him and Elain stumbling into the River House in a heat of passion…by the cauldron, how could you forget about the way he treated you at training…and the night on the balcony afterwards. How?

“I don’t know,” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He looked devastating in the dim faelights of the study, surrounded by marble bookcases and the open walls looking out towards the mountains. Even as dishelved as he was. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you. I fucked up. I should’ve never come to you that night…I should’ve never touched you.” 

Hurt flashed across your face. Had he really not wanted you that night? Had you completely misinterpreted his actions? Was he about to finally tell you he didn’t want you—that he wanted Elain and was sorry for leading you on? You didn’t know if your heart could take it…

“No, don’t…” Azriel said, seeming to notice where your thoughts had turned. “I don’t mean it like that, princess.” He reached a hand forward, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. “I did want you…I still do. But you have to understand, we can’t. This…us…it can never happen.”

“Why?” you choked out. He didn’t make any sense. If you wanted him, and he wanted you, then what the hell was stopping either of you? Was he scared of how your brother might react? If that was the case then he could just say so. You could deal with Rhys.

His hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin. You shouldn’t let him touch you. Shouldn’t even be so close to him. But Gods, your heart ached for his touch.

“Because,” he started, then faltered for a moment. “Because it just can’t, princess. I’m sorry.” 

You pushed his hand away from you. “You owe me more than that, Azriel! You owe me a godsdamn explanation. Why? Why can’t it happen? Because of Elain–”

“No,” he growled. “It has nothing to do with Elain. I don’t even care about Elain. I just want you—”

“I don’t think you know what you want, Azriel,” you scoffed. “You can’t stand here and say you don’t want Elain after what I witnessed between you two. I saw you, you know, in the kitchens that night. I saw you together before I even went to the continent. So don’t tell me you don’t want her, don’t care for her!” 

“It’s the truth,” he pleaded. “I swear to the Gods themselves. I don’t want Elain. I have never wanted Elain. I have never even wanted Mor. All I’ve ever wanted was you. You and only you.”

“You’re not making any sense,” you cried. “How can you even say that? I watched you pine after Mor for years! And now everything with Elain—”

“I need you to understand, princess. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to. But we cannot happen. I saw the way you looked at me and Gods, I wanted nothing other than to tell you how I felt. But you…I can never have you. So I pretended to pine after Mor for years hoping you’d move on. And then she came out to all of us, told us she preferred females, so I had to find someone else—”

“You expect me to believe that this whole time you’ve been pretending to like other girls? Mor, maybe I can believe because you never pursued her. But Elain? Azriel, I stumbled upon you guys twice! It certainly didn’t look like you were pretending.”  

“Because that night in the kitchens I was trying to make myself want her. Make myself want anyone other than you. Because I can’t have you, princess, don’t you get it! It’s fucking agony to crave you the way I do and not be able to do anything about it. So I tried, Gods, I tried to move on. But it didn’t work. We never got past what you saw. I couldn’t force myself to want her because I don’t. I don’t want anyone other than you.” 

“And what about the second time? Were you just pretending then, as well?” 

“I knew you were home that night. I had been tracking you the whole day with my shadows. After what happened between us on the balcony, I was scared you’d try to act on your feelings for me. So I purposefully sought out Elain. Purposefully led her back when I knew you’d be there to catch us. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you but I needed you to move on. Even if it meant you’d hate me.”

“I-I don’t understand,” you stuttered. “If you want me and I want you, then what’s stopping us, Azriel? Why do you keep saying you can’t have me? Is it because of my brother? Do you think he wouldn’t approve—wouldn’t think you deserving? Because you are, Az. I love—”

Azriel surged forward and pressed you against the door with a hand around your mouth, wings snapped out to their full length. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, your chest heaving.

“Don’t,” he snarled. “Don’t say it. Don’t. I won’t be able to control myself and this will all be for nothing. This will all end horribly.” 

When you made no move to say anything else, his hand slowly dropped from your mouth. You felt tears line your eyes. You felt frustrated, mad, upset. You couldn’t wrap your head around what he was trying to tell you. 

“At least tell me why, Azriel. Don’t you think I deserve that? You said you’re sorry for hurting me but can’t you see how much you’re hurting me by doing this? It hurts more to know you want me the way I want you but not enough to be with me.”

Azriel let out a groan and sank to his knees in front of you, bowing his head. “You have no idea how much I want you, princess. No idea. It is you who is in my head every single second of every single day. It is you I think about as I fall asleep and you I think about the moment I awake. I would crawl through hell on my knees just to be able to kiss you, to hold you, to love you. But I can’t….I can’t, y/n.” 

You held your breath, a few tears leaking from your eyes. This was everything you’d ever wanted. These were words he had only ever told you in your dreams. And here he was, finally saying them for real. But in the same breath, telling you that this, that you and him, would never, ever happen.

“Why?” you whispered. “Why?”

But Azriel said nothing further. Just knelt on his knees in front of you like he was praying to the Gods, his head bowed between his shoulders, his wings drooping against the floor. You waited for him to say anything, anything that might help you understand. But nothing…nothing ever came from his mouth.

You loosened a breath, your heart heavy in your chest and left.

Left Azriel on his knees in that room, with the words he said hanging over him like a death sentence.  

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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*If you don't see your username and you asked to be tagged, it's bc it won't let me for some dumb reason.

*Hope you guys don't hate me too much!! We'll get some more Az POV soon and maybe next part we'll finally get some answersss ;)

[justmeinadaze]

I was rereading your aftercare series and I thought about if reader and her bf had like really bad sex, maybe like in his car or something, and she doesn't even cum, and then he drops her off at home where Steve and Eddie help her get off and then take the best care of her 💙

Ok so I have a couple of requests in waiting I may use this version of them for. I think it will help focus my brain and since a lot of your requests are like this I think I can fit it into this AU and get them out faster :)

I hope you like!

Why Can't I Be in a Meg Ryan Movie? (Or Even a Good Porno)

Warnings: Actor Steve Harrington/ Rockstar & Actor Eddie Munson and Actress Fem Reader, SMUT, in the shower :), some heavy petting on set, dirty talk, reader and her boyfriend have sex and she does not have a good time (quick and brief), FLUFF, these three are filming a movie together and since they are supposed to be friends they BECAME friends behind the scenes, ANGST, reader is unhappily in a relationship, he's a dick sabotaging scenes and talking down to her, they are filming an 80s Slasher movie together so their are times those scenes are conveyed (mentions of death, blood, needing to feel safe, etc.) Those scenes are brief.

Word Count: 4897

The metalhead swings open his front door, gun drawn as you squeak and hide behind your gorgeous, captain of the football team best friend. 

“Whoa! It’s us, James, it’s us.”

“Jesus, Carter. What the fuck happened?!”, the long-hair boy asks as he gestures you two inside and locks the door. 

“Cindy’s fucking dead.”, the jock answered with a gruff tone as he guided you towards the sink and began washing the blood from your hands as you sobbed. 

“Shit. Nina, I’m so sorry.”

“I-I-It’s ok.”

The man’s palms grip your cheeks as he wipes your tears with his thumbs. 

“It’s not. We can make it through this. I know we can. We just need to figure out who this fucker is so we can kill him ourselves.”

“Agreed but we aren’t doing that tonight. James, is it alright if we stay here with you?”

“Dude, yeah, of course. Sweetheart, you can take the bed and we can—”

“No!”, you cry out. “Please…I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, there’s only one fucking bed.”

Everyone in the room groans as you frustratingly lay your forehead against the tattooed arm you had reached out to grab. 

“Cut! Ryan, we’ve talked about this. You can’t interrupt a scene.”

“Aren’t you shooting in the studio next door?”, Steve growled in annoyance as he threw the prosthetic bat he was holding on to the counter. 

“Maybe they got tired of him to.”, Eddie whispered loud enough that your boyfriend could hear. 

When you received the script from your agent to be in a typical 80’s slasher, you immediately turned him down for fear of being type cast like some of the other actresses you read about who starred in the genre but when he mentioned you’d be working with not only the massive heartthrob and brilliant actor Steve Harrington but also the rockstar of one of your favorite bands Corroded Coffin, you changed your tune. 

 When you told your boyfriend however he was less than amused. Honestly, you thought it was more his anger that you were getting a high paying job than who you were working with. Ryan’s own career was starting to stall as the ratings for his current show were in decline. You noticed he had begun taking that out on you in subtle ways like demeaning you at a party or, like right now, sabotaging a scene. 

“Fuck you, Munson. I’m a respected actor! You’ve been in what one other movie?”

“Well shit. He got me, Harrington. What the fuck would I know about being an actor? Please Ryan can you teach me how to get on your level? Teach me how to be an asshole just like you!”

“OK! Jesus.”, the director whined. “Can we reset and do this with no interruptions please?!”

Both men turn and you follow Steve to the other side of the door. 

“I’m so sorry, you guys. He’s not always like this.”

“Hm. You need to be careful with that one, honey. I know he’s your boyfriend and all but I don’t want him to ruin all the hard work you’ve done here.”

“Steve, this is a slasher film about a killer who wears a suit and clown mask killing high school seniors. It’s not Citizen Kane.”, you giggle making them smile. 

“Yeah but picture people dressing up like you like they do with Jamie Lee Curtis or that hot chick whose show was big when we were school. What was it, Steve?”

“I have no idea.”, he chuckles. 

“With the hair and the black dress that…” Eddie mimed pushing his chest together as if he had boobs making you laugh harder. 

“Elvira?”

“YEAH! Good job, princess. Thank you. Imagine people dressing like you in that sexy ass tank top and jeans that hug them hips.”

You grinned as you lightly punched his arm. Since Steve was playing your best friend, after you were cast you reached out to him and invited him to lunch hoping to get to know him better. When he told you Eddie was hisbest friend, you insisted he bring him along and over the last few months had gotten to know both men fairly well. You loved their attitudes and the way they made you laugh. You felt safe with them which in a media dominated by men you appreciated. 

***

“How was your date last night?”, you ask Steve while the three of were laying in the bed on set. 

You were a bit nervous because this was supposed to be your big kiss scene with him so you were trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. 

“Pfft terrible. She whined the entire time about my restaurant choice and was rude to the staff.”, he sighed as Eddie giggled behind you. 

“I tooooold you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Munson.”

“See we never had that problem when we shared girls.”

“Whoa! Excuse me. You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”, you laughed with wide eyes. 

“Ok, first off, it did happen a few times which is why we aren’t currently in a relationship. Secondly… Eddie and I…may have shared a partner a time or two.”

“Wow. Do you two, um,…”

“No, we don’t ‘um’ but yeah we like the way a woman unfolds when we take care of her.”, the metalhead smiles making you blush a bit. “Have you ever tried it?”

“Oh, uh, no. I’m not really…adventurous like that I guess.”

“Captain asshole doesn’t blow your mind?”

Your smile widens as you punch his chest.

“Not…no. I don’t know. Ryan tries but lately he seems so distracted.”

“Hm. That’s a shame. Beautiful girl like you should have all the attention on her.” Steve throws a soft grin your way, deepening the pink around your cheeks. 

You’re suddenly very aware you are in a long heavy metal shirt with underwear and no pants while both men are in sweatpants with Steve shirtless. 

“Ok, gang, get comfy. We’re going to do some lighting tests real quick to make sure we’re still good and then we’ll start rolling.”

Nodding, you three get in your places that were discussed in rehearsal. As Eddie wraps his arm around your waist and you do the same across Steve’s tummy, you feel very thankful your boyfriend wasn’t there today. After lifting his arm, you rest your head on his chest as he casually starts playing with your hair. 

“I’m not fucking anything up am I?”, he asks in a deep, husky voice you weren’t prepared for. 

“Oh, uh, no I think…I think you’re fine.” 

“You can put your hand on my chest if you want.”

Blinking up at him, you do what he suggests and a sigh leaves his lips at the feeling. 

“Ok, we are good to go. Everyone is sleeping except you Carter. Nina wakes up, you say your lines, kiss, and then you hear a noise that startles you.”

Your eyes shut as you nuzzle into him as he continues to move his fingers through your hair. 

“Alright, I need quiet on set and action!”

Your head stirs at the feeling of fingers caressing you as your eyes flutter open.

“Carter?”

“Yeah, hey, I’m right here.”

“Have you gotten any sleep?”

“No but I’m ok. James is past the fuck out though.” You both laugh as you glance behind you towards the sleeping metalhead. “He rolled over a while ago and wrapped his arms around you. I guess he thinks you’re a teddy bear or something. You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”

“James IS very pretty.”

His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 

“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but…not as beautiful as you.”

Your eyes scan his as you both slowly tilt forward. When his lips land on yours, your body lights up as your palm lightly grips his cheek. His kisses come a bit more passionately as his own hand grips the back of your neck. As his tongue slides into your mouth, you groan as your mind is suddenly clouded with fuzzy feelings of your best friend. 

Is it just you or can you feel your other friend pressing himself against you. Isn’t he asleep? Maybe I could turn and—

“CUT! Guys! Listen!”, the director yells. “I said cut like five times! Y/N, Steve, remember in rehearsal we said it was a soft, delicate kiss.”

“Sorry.”, the actor whispers before turning towards you. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” You glance towards Eddie whose eyes are squeezed shut still but he’s murmuring things to himself. 

“Cold showers, cold showers, Wayne naked, fucking Jeff puking after too many booze…”

“Are you alright?”, you ask.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m, um, I’m ok. I’m sorry if you, um, we can…I’m sure the intimacy lady can put like a pillow or something…”, he suggests as his gaze shifts between his legs under the blanket. “Y/N, I don’t think you’re supposed to moan when you kiss him.”

“Huh?”

“You moaned when you were kissing me.”, Steve answered breathily as he continued staring into the void with wide eyes. 

“That’s why I’m…I have a… you have really sexy moans, sweetheart.”

“And you taste really fucking good.”

Your eyes lock with Steve’s at his comment as a heavy exhale escaped your lungs. 

“Alright, gang, reset!”

Laying back in your original positions, you realize Eddie’s is a bit farther from you than he was before. Biting your bottom lip, you turn your head as much as you can towards him. 

“Ed, you can…you can scoot closer.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not.” To emphasis your point, you push your lower half into his and a subtle groan leaves his throat. Holding your hips, he grinds against you making your eye lids droop as your rub your thighs together and lift your leg over the other man’s waist, just grazing the growing bulge in the sweats they had them in. 

“Ok! We’re ready to go. Take two and we’re rolling…action!”

You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”

“James IS very pretty.”

His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 

“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but not as beautiful as you.”

The boy’s lips feverishly crash to yours as he twists his torso to give himself better access to your

 mouth. 

“Carter.”, you moan.

“Y/N.”, he answers in your ear that’s furthest from the mic.

Your eyes shoot open as you realize what’s happening and no one is in character anymore. Pushing at his chest, he sees the slight regret in your eyes as he tries to regain his composure. 

“I think I heard something.”, you point absently off camera. Throwing off the blanket, he grabs his weapon before you quickly grab his arm. “Be careful…please. I-I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

His eyes soften as he leans in and give you a small peck on the lips. 

“Don’t worry, honey. I’ll be ok. I promise.”

############

“Geez.”, Ryan laughed as you tore at his pants in the back seat of his car. “What’s got you all hot and bothered?”

“I just…missed you.”

Your boyfriend’s grin grows as he takes hold of your lower back and flips you around till he’s on top of you yanking down your pants. As he kisses your neck and rubs his cock along the cotton blocking your core, your mind begins to wonder. 

Steve’s lips tasted amazing. I wonder what Eddie tastes like. Feeling them groan in my ear…fucking hell…

As Ryan’s length entered your sex, you suddenly felt underwhelmed.

They both felt so big even through their pants. I wonder what they would feel like inside of me…together…moaning like they had…

“Fuck, babe.” His body shook as he thrust his seed inside of you a bit too aggressively as you laid there unsatisfied. “God that was… did you…?”

Nodding your head, he beamed down at you as he kissed your forehead before reaching for a napkin on the floor of his car. When he handed it to you, you held it without moving as a disgusted look painted your face. 

“I have to get back to work.  You should go home and take a shower. You smell like sweat and that asshole rocker’s cigarettes.”

With that, he exited his vehicle and walked back inside. 

Shaking your head, you ambled over to your own car and reached into your glove compartment for some of the tissues you stored there. You sat in the driver’s seat for a while staring off into space feeling slightly dirty and used. 

You may have initiated the contact but lately Ryan hadn’t been satisfying you and the way he was after didn’t make you feel any better. 

Abruptly, you slammed your door and started the engine, driving off into what you thought was no particular direction. 

#############

“Hi, um, I’m sorry. I must be at the wrong—”

“Are you looking for Steven?”, the girl interrupted sassily. “Yeah you’re in the right place but don’t expect anything from either of these assholes.”

“Carol, why are you answering my door? I told you, please, get out.”

Steve’s eyes met yours as fear flashed through them. 

“All yours, babe.”

As she stomped past you, the boy took her place in the doorway of the apartment. 

“I’m sorry. I should just go.”

“No! Wait, no!”, he yelled panicked as he reached for your arm. “Please, come in. She was just…that’s the girl I had my date with who was rude, remember? She came over because…I didn’t call her? I don’t know.”, he shrugs. 

Stepping into their shared space, you were surprised by how modest it was. With how much money they made together, you would have expected them in a penthouse or a mansion. 

“Is the pterodactyl gone?”, Eddie asks as he exits his room pausing when he sees you. “Shit. Hey, Y/N. Are you alright? You look frazzled.”

“Why pterodactyl?”, you ask with a small smirk as you feel both their eyes intensely scanning you over. 

“She, uh, came in here like a bat out of hell screeching. Raaaaaaaw!”, he mimics as he spreads his arms like wings, smiling when you laugh. “See? I’m an actor.”

“What’s going on, honey? I thought you were spending some time with Ryan.”, Steve inquires as he leans over the back of their couch. 

“I was! I did… we, um, spent some time together… in his backseat…”

“And then he just sent you home?”

“Yeah, well, not right away. First he came in like 3 seconds and I learned that my boyfriend who I’ve been sleeping with for 4 months has no idea what a woman orgasming feels like because he asked me if I did and when I told him yes he got super excited. Then he proceeded to hand me a dirty napkin from his floor to clean myself with and then promptly told me I should go home and shower because I smell gross like sweat and your cigarettes Eddie.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised he even fucking noticed because I was barely even present during the whole experience because I was too busy imagining you two and what you would feel like inside me! Now I feel like a whore, used, and disgusting and I didn’t know where else to go so I just started driving and somehow ended up here and—”

Steve pulling you into his arms and pressing your face into his chest cut you off as you cried.

“Hey, Munson, is your shower actually clean?”

“I’m always on tour, Harrington, so what do you think?”

“No then?” Both boys smile when you giggle against him. “That’s ok. We can use mine. Come on, pretty girl.”

Eddie trails after you both as Steve guides you into his room and towards the bathroom. Opening the door to his standing shower, you marvel at how big it actually is. 

“Wow. This is very nice.”

“Thank you.”, he smiles as he sticks his palm under the water to make sure it its warm. As the steam starts to rise, he gestures inside. “All for you, honey.”

“Just me?”, you whisper as your gaze shifts between them. 

“What would make you comfortable, Y/N?”, Eddie asks as he steps closer to your side. 

Swallowing nervously, you close your eyes as you lift off your shirt and toss it to the side before unbuttoning your jeans to do the same. 

A tap on your shoulder causes you to open them again meeting the metalhead’s chocolate irises as he tries not to glance down your body. 

“You have to say it, sweetheart. If you don’t want this or anything at all that’s absolutely fine. If you want us to even just sit out here while you’re in there or just to stand in there with you…”

“Or if you want us to do some of those things you were imagining us doing when you were with Ryan…you have to say it.”, Steve adds.

Nodding silently, you remove your bra and slide down your panties, their gazes never leaving your face. 

“I want you two to shower with me and take care of me.”

Softly smiling, the remove their clothes and you provide them the same courtesy they did you, keeping your eyes forward. After guiding you in first, they follow behind and you let out a deep sigh as the water hits your hair. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I know I’ve always jokingly flirted with you but I do think you are gorgeous.”, Eddie admits making you smile as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Can I kiss you?”

As soon as you get permission your lips connect to his, reveling in the taste of cigarettes that Ryan seemed to have so much disdain for mixed with mint and a hint of alcohol. While his fingers tangled in your hair to pull you closer, Steve’s hands behind you roamed everywhere, down your arms, along your stomach, and up to your breasts. 

The metalhead tenderly kissed your jawline, trailing the valley of your chest. Almost as if offering him a taste, the boy behind you cupped the bottom of you breast as Eddie wrapped his lips around the bud eliciting a soft moan from you. 

“Eddie.”

“Does that feel good, honey?”, Steve murmured in your ear as you leaned your head against his shoulder. 

“Yes. S-So good.”

Descending to his knees, Eddie turned you to face the other man, opening your legs a bit wider and you mewled when his long tongue flicked your entrance. 

“How do you feel now, Y/N?”

“Fuck.” Your response makes Steve chuckle as he grabs your cheeks and brings your lips to his. “Can I…touch you…please…”, you ask between each kiss. 

“Baby, you can touch us as much as you want as long as you’re comfortable.”

As soon as your small hand takes hold of his cock he groans as his forehead falls on yours, panting against your mouth as you stroke him. 

“Shit. We’ve been thinking about you all afternoon. How you would feel and what you would sound like.”

Your head leans against his chest as Eddie’s tongue moves faster inside of you. Abruptly your knees buckle but the metalhead is faster than his friend as he catches you and leans your back against his chest. Looping his arm around your front, he thrusts his two of his fingers into your cunt while you cling to his wrist. 

“That good, baby girl? Good, you deserve it. You’re not a whore, sweetheart, and you’re definitely not disgusting. Cum for me, Y/N.” Turning your head, you passionately kiss him as you come undone. “Fuck, your pussy is so tight when you cum. Are you kidding me?”

“M-More. I want more. Please.”

Steve lifts you up just enough to place your back on the tile as he climbs on top of you and you promptly circle your legs around his waist. 

“This ok? The tile isn’t cold, right?” Shaking your head, you lean up to kiss him, grinding your lower half against his desperately. “Are you… on—fuck—can I cum inside you?”

“Please.”

He licks his lips at the word as his cock twitches against you. Reaching between your bodies, he grips his base and as you tilt up to look you moan at how big he seems even in his own large hand. 

“Go slow at first. I’ve…I’ve never had someone as big as you two.”

“Shit, honey, you can’t say stuff like that.”, Steve breathily laughs as his head hangs, his damp hair tickling your face a bit. “Okay…okay, I can do that.”

Feeling extra warmth by your side, you turn to see Eddie laying on his side as he flashes you a soft smile. Biting his own lip, he watches as your face contorts and your back arches as the boy on top of you starts pushing into your core. 

“It’s ok, princess. You’re ok.”

Steve’s head fell next to your opposite side and your pussy couldn’t help but clench at the sound of his whimpers in your ear. His hand suddenly smacks the floor beside you as his arm bent at the elbow. The action startled you but made his friend laugh. 

“That hard, Harrington?” Your eyes meet his in confusion as he beamed down at you. “He’s trying to control himself from not just pounding into you. Your little pussy is driving him crazy.”

This confused you even more since every man you had been with never had the reaction Steve was having now. Even Ryan made it seem like you and your body were nothing special. 

“Hey, hey come back, Y/N.”, Eddie cooed as he caressed your cheek with his finger. 

That caused Steve to push up on his arms to look down at your face. 

“Are you ok? I’m not h-hurting you or anything right?”

“No, you’re not. No one…no one has ever…made me feel like…BEING with me is anything special.”

They knew what you meant and it broke their hearts as the man inside you kissed your forehead before placing his head back where it had been by your ear. 

“I’m sorry, baby. You deserve so much better then that. Your pussy should be worshipped. Fuck me. I swear, Y/N, I’ve never had anyone as tight as you. I could fucking live inside you. God… I knew it when you kissed me. You’re definitely fucking special.”

When he was fully sheathed inside you, your hands clung to his shoulders while he waited patiently for you to tell him he could move. 

Your hips tested the waters as you rolled them upwards making you both moan as your eyes rolled back. 

“P-Please, Steve.” Tilting up a bit, he placed his nose against yours as he slowly thrust into your body. “Fuck, I can feel you in my stomach.”

His mouth fell open as his pants warmed your face even more than the shower steam around you. As your nails scratched down his back, his pace quickened, hitting that spongy spot inside of you repeatedly as you whimpered at the feeling. 

“Steve. Harder, baby.”

Pushing up onto his knees, the man gripped your thighs for leverage as he honored your request. 

“Like that, Y/N? Is he about to make you cum?”, Eddie murmured in your ear as his palm held your face.  “Cum, Y/N. Let him feel what I did. Trust us, sweetheart, we know exactly what a beautiful woman coming feels like.”

Arching your back high off the tile beneath you, your vision was blinded by white as you came.

“Jesus.”, Steve growled through gritted teeth as he chased his own release.

Your lips mingled with Eddie’s as the other man leaned forward to massage your tits in his large palms before hearing him grunt above you as pumped his spend into your cunt. 

After carefully pulling out of you, both men trailed kisses to your neck, tenderly sucking and nibbling at your sweet spots as your body continued to tingle with need. 

“Eddie…please…”

“You don’t have to take me tonight, princess. Tonight is about you.”

“I want you.”

“Fuck me. Say that again.”

“I want you, Eddie. I need you.”

Once Steve was out of the way, the metalhead guided you around until your back was to his chest again with you both laying on your sides. On impulse, you lifted your leg and without missing a beat, he held it in place with his palm firmly gripping your thigh. 

Grinding his hips, his cock ran along your pussy lips as you moaned. 

“I’ll go slow too at first, ok?”

After you nod, he releases his hold on you only long enough to maneuver his length into your heat. 

“Oh my god.”, you whine as your head falls into the nook of his other arm. 

“I know. I know, baby. You’re—mmm—you’re doing so well. Tight little pussy is stretching out perfectly for me. Fuck.”

“Fuck me, Eddie. I-I can take it.”

Smiling, his fingers grabbed your jaw, turning you to face him so his forehead could lean on yours. 

“You can take it? Are you sure?” As if to test you, he slammed his waist hard into yours hitting your now overly sensitive and abused g-spot making you whimper against his lips. 

“Yeeees, baby, just like that.”

“You want it hard like that, sweetheart? Fuck, you are so fucking beautiful like this.”

While Steve did talk a bit while he was inside you, Eddie couldn’t seem to stop, whispering praises and compliments against your skin as he thrust into you. You definitely didn’t mind, wishing you could focus on anything but the pleasure to do the same. 

“Stay with me, pretty girl. I need to feel you cum again and squeeze my dick.”

“Eddie…I…feels…good…”

Grinning again, he tenderly kissed your lips. 

“Are you trying t-to praise me? Aw, poor baby can’t focus on words?” When you whined and nodded, his smiled grew. “Good. It’s ok, Y/N. Just focus on my cock right now. I want you to cum for me.”

Picking up his pace, you circle your arm behind you around his neck clinging to his hair till you felt your body tremble as the coil in your stomach snapped. 

“God damnit! Atta girl. Feels so fucking good.”

While your pussy quivered around him, he pumped into you till you felt him warm your insides as you milked him dry. 

After pulling out, the three of you laid on the floor of the shower on your back trying to catch your breathes. 

“I can’t tell if I’m steamy or sweaty.”

You smirked as they both laughed at your statement. 

“Either way, you smell good. Hang on.” Closing your eyes, you listened to Steve move around before jumping when you feel a washcloth between your legs. “Sorry! Sorry. I should have warned you. I’m just cleaning you.”

“I hope its ok it’s not a dirty napkin.”, Eddie sassed making you giggle as you reach over to lightly punch his arm. “You deserve better than him, Y/N.”

“You really ARE special. I hope you know that.”, Steve added. “And not just your body.”

You don’t say anything as they turn off the water and lead you back to the bedroom to dry you.

“Do you want your clothes or I can give you one of my shirts. According to Ryan, your stuff smells like smoke so I don’t see what difference a new shirt would make.”

“Oh. Um…I can just…wear my clothes…”, you pout as you hang your head. 

As your about to turn to take the garments from Eddie’s hands, the other boy grabs your wrist as he takes a seat on his bed. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“No, hey, no. Not nothing. What’s running through your mind?”

Unlike with your boyfriend, when your eyes shift between theirs you don’t see annoyance but empathy. They genuinely want to make sure you’re alright. 

“Do you want me to go?”

You question surprises them as they exchange a glance. 

“No. God no.”, the metalhead answers as he sits on the bed as well. “Y/N, we just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If you want to go you’re more than welcome but we’d rather you stay.”

“We don’t want you to feel how you felt when you came in here.”, Steve adds. 

“I don’t feel like that. I wouldn’t feel like that if I left right now either.” They softly smile your way as they nod. “I don’t want to leave though. Not yet.”

“Aaaaare you hungry? We were going to order some food before Harrington’s ex-girlfriend flew in wreaking havoc.”

“Oh my god. Ok, we went on ONE date! One!”

“Can we get food from the restaurant you took her to. I really want to see if your restaurant choices do suck.”, you giggle as he rolls his eyes. 

“I hate you both.”, Steve teases as he gets up and heads for the phone.

Eddie helps you into one of his shirts and his friend’s shorts he found nearby. 

“Comfy? Good. See, princess, you’re adventurous.”, he winks as he grabs your palm in his before looking down at how they fit together. “Did you like it? Being with two people?”

With your free hand, you tilt his chin and kiss his lips. 

“I liked being with you two.”

Steddie Asks

[convolutings]

Look don’t get me wrong I love the PJO TV show. The cast is perfect and some moments that were added I absolutely loved. But… there are some things I felt were so well done in the book there was no need to change it and I’m a little disappointed by the adaptation’s version.

Some of these takes I saw from other people and it put into words what I was feeling so I’m just expanding on what they said.

1. Gabe could’ve been worse. We are supposed to get mean Smelly Gabe vibes and Sally isn’t supposed to feel comfortable standing up to him. I understand “girl boss” and disneys restrictions but it still wasn’t great. I’m hoping they add something towards the end so his murder feels deserved.

Edit: upon a rewatch I take this back and believe Gabe was still abusive, if not physically as in the book, but as manipulative and demanding which is still abuse so I actually appreciate the changes they made now.

2. Sally felt off. Like they read her plot points but didn’t understand her character. She is wholesome and kind and devoted to Percy. The Sally we know never would’ve put that much pressure on Grover, plus him putting the pressure on himself is vital to his character. They also made her seemingly pine for Poseidon. They shouldn’t have changed the way she described her relationship with him and the choices she made to keep Percy safe. (I will say though that the Jesus joke was perfect and hilarious)

Edit: upon rewatch I still believe the wholesomeness was lost a little but I have come to like her character more and think these changes allow for greater depth into Sally’s story which I’m excited for.

3. We should’ve gotten Percy remembering the warm glow of Poseidon. I thought it was important that Poseidon broke the rules and came to see Percy when he was a baby and had that memory.

4. Percy thinking that Annabeth looked like a goddess when he first saw her was so cute and said a lot about how he viewed her. I think they should’ve kept it.

5. I think Luke being the one to guide Percy around the camp was a great choice, but Annabeth should’ve been part of welcoming scenes. And Grover should’ve been the one to tell the story of Thalia.

Edit: Episode 3’s reveal of Grover’s story was genius I take this back!

6. The claiming in the book was perfect! There was no reason to change the dialogue or have the trident not be the way it’s originally described. And seeing the campers reactions/having them bow down was important. I was underwhelmed tbh.

7. Percy is SMART! He was the one to put together that Sally was alive and agree to the quest in order to get her back. There was no reason for Grover to be the one to do it.

Otherwise it was wonderful. I still love it immensely and the care into the heart of the show I feel is still there. I can’t wait for next week!

And yes, I know Rick wrote the episodes and was a part of every single choice that was made so if he wants to leave something out obviously he knows his story the best this is just my opinion.

[lovingmattysposts]

Best Friend’s Brother 10

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12

summary: you just moved into the sturniolo’s home after some family issues and you’re starting to become attracted to your best friend’s brother and you hated yourself for it. But how could you resist?

warnings: there is a scene where a guy tries to come onto y/n, but it is not in descriptive detail there is no sexual indication in the scene he just trying to kiss her, alcohol, cursing, sad, angst

the long awaited bfb 10....this one is a long one so here you go my loves

xoxo, autumn

chris pov

I felt like absolute shit. I’m a horrible person. A horrible selfish person. All my life I’ve allowed myself to pull away from my wants, her. And it worked. It’s worked for the last four years.

One slip up and now I’ve got bloody hands and no one gets what they want. Even caving into my selfish wants, I didn’t think about how it would effect her. Until it was too late.

She probably thinks the worst of me. I would tell her that I loved her too, but she didn’t deserve that. It would rip her apart. She didn’t understand, how could she?

What was I suppose to say? I’ve been dreaming about the night we had when I kissed you for the past four years? She would look at my like I was crazy.

It was better this way. It was better that she didn’t know. I would die with the secret that I loved her too, even if it ate me alive. She wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand if I had admitted that I love her too. She would question me. She wouldn’t understand that I loved her so much that I let her go.

Love was suppose to be the most powerful thing in the word. Nothing else was suppose to matter if you had love. But this was far from the truth. Love meant sacrifice. Sacrificing my wants for what she needed. She didn’t need me. I knew she didn’t need me.

I suck. I’m nothing special. I’m afraid if I tried I would fail and she would end up with no one. I’m not good at acting on love. Hell, I wasn’t even good at feeling it.

I slipped up. I got selfish. This was me redeeming myself. She just didn’t know it. She would get over me. She would fall in love and she would forget about that boy who broke her heart on the roof.

Even if I never will.

I’ve been staying at Elmer's house for a few days now. I didn’t want to see her. I never wanted to go back to that house. I was scared. I was scared to face her. I was scared I would take it all back. I was scared I would tell her how long I’ve loved her.

That I would fall to my knees begging her to pick me and that I would never hurt her ever again. But I didn’t know that. I would try, but love was never promised.

She could change her mind.

After this I’m not sure she would even take me back. But I wasn’t going to do that to Nick, and she wasn't either no matter if she thought she wanted to.

Her heart was too big for her body. I wished I could explain it to her, but I couldn’t.

I felt my phone buzz. I picked it up looking down at the notification.

mia

now where have you been hiding? :) miss u big

I sighed and turned my phone off. The last thing I needed was to be in contact with her again. Elmer walked in making me look up.

“Alright spill it, why have you been hiding out here?” He sighed sitting down next to be. I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m not hiding” I mumbled. He raised his eyebrows.

“Really?” He asked blinking at me. I just looked at him. “Did your brothers do something?” He asked. I shook my head. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head smiling.

“It’s a girl isn’t it? The one staying with you?” He asked looking at me making me look off to the side. He sighed. “What’d you do?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I fucked up I think” I sighed looking at him. “Then fix it” He shrugged. I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that simple” I stated looking at him. He smiled and nodded. “It never is” He stated. I bit my lip and looked to the side.

-

I walked into the house quietly before walking into the kitchen seeing my mom standing over the stove. She turned at the sound of me walking. "Hey sweetie. How was Elmer's?" She asked turning to look at me. I let out a breath. "Good" I nodded looking down. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"There's something going on isn't there?" She asked looking at me. I looked up at her. "What?" I asked suddenly. She sighed walking over to me. "You think I don't know you? You are my son. I always know when something's wrong" She stated raising her eyebrows at me.

I bit my lip looking off the side. "There's nothing going on" I stated looking at her. She pursed her lips looking at me. She glanced towards the stairs. "Is it something to do with our new guest?" She asked smiling. I let out a breath and looked down.

"You're scared of Nick aren't you?" She asked. I looked up at her. "Okay, that was creepy" I said looking at her, making her smile. "A mother always knows" She said tilting her head at me. I shook my head.

"It's nothing to worry about Mom, It's nothing anymore" I sighed as I walked over to the fridge. She hummed following me. "You're good at hiding your emotions Chris, just don't let that fact kill you" She said rubbing her hand over my back and then walking out of the kitchen.

I sighed as I leaned against the fridge. I wish I could express my emotions as easily as Nick or Matt, but It was hard. I was so scared to get hurt. So badly, that I hurt the one person I cared about in the process.

-

y/n pov

"Oh, will you go grab a pack of Pepsi? Chris just drank the last one" Nick said rolling his eyes. I felt my chest spike at the name, but I didn't let it show. I never did. I smiled all day long with Nick, laughing pretending everything was normal, then at night I would retreat into my room and cry and cry and cry.

Is it stupid? We weren't even together. It was like a small taste of glory and that was it. The small taste of what love was suppose to feel like and then reality hit and slapped you in the face. It's so weird to think you know someone or think you know how they feel and then to know you just imagined it all.

He hasn't been home these past few days. I think he's hiding from me, which I honestly appreciated. I'm not sure what I was going to do when I saw his face again.

Even his name mad me sick to my stomach.

"Y/n? Did you hear me?" He asked catching my attention. I looked up to see him smiling at me. "Pepsi right" I said shaking my head. "Go please so we can check out" He said shaking his head. I smiled and shook my head as I turned and walked out of the aisle.

I tried to shake the thoughts out of my mind as my eyes scanned the sodas. Don't think about Chris. Don't think about Chris. I spotted the Pepsi.

Chris.

My eyes started to water as I pulled out the pack and held it. I swallowed and pushed back the tears. I never wanted to look at a damn Pepsi can ever again.

I turned to walk out of the aisle to get rid of this out of my hand before I had a meltdown but I paused, seeing a famailar face.

"Mom?"

She turned and looked at me. She smiled walking back over to me. I stood frozen. "Hello" She sighed crossing her arms over her chest. I swallowed as I looked at her. The last time I saw her I told her I wasn't her daughter anymore.

"Glad to see you're alive" She said looking at me and raising an eyebrow. I clenched my jaw and looked to the side, attempting to adjust my grip of the pack of Pepsi.

"I thought I wasn't your mother anymore" She said looking at me. I blinked up at her. "You never acted like one in the first place" I mumbled looking at her. She rolled her eyes.

"So you've got a boyfriend now?" She asked raising her eyebrow. I furrowed my eyebrows looking up at her. "What are you talking about?" I asked shaking my head. She sighed as she shifted on her feet.

"The boy that came storming in my house and packed all of your things wasn't your boyfriend?" She asked shaking her head. My face dropped. Chris. She was talking about Chris. When he went to my house and got my things. My books. He went face to face with my mother just to get my things. My heart clenched.

"Chris?" I asked. She shrugged. "Is that his name?" She asked. I looked to the side clenching my jaw. "We're not together" I mumbled. She sighed. "Shame. He's cute" She said smiling at me. I glared at her for talking about him.

"Reminds me of your father when he was his age" She said making my grip the soda harder. "Chris is nothing like my father" I said through clenched teeth. She rolled her eyes. "From the way he stormed into the house, I didn't see much difference" She said glaring at me. I dropped the soda walking up to her.

"Don't speak about him like that. He's kind, he would never hurt me" I spat in her face. She raised her eyebrows, unfazed by my approach on her. "So defensive" She breathed. "Makes me think he already has" She said blankly. I swallowed feeling tears come to my eyes.

"I don't have time for this" I huffed stepping back and picking up the soda harshly. "He came back" She said making me stop. I turned back to her. "Your father. He's back" She swallowed looking at me. I bit my lip as I looked at her feeling chills run up my spine. Fighting the urge to ask her if she was okay.

"I don't care" I whispered before turning and walking back toward Nick, trying to shake the conversation that just happened. Nick looked up at me. "Where have you been? Did you get lost?" He joked smiling at me. I turned looking back but seeing no sign of my mother.

"No, I'm fine" I said looking back at him smiling attempting to shake all feeling and emotion of knowing my father was back in town.

-

"So when do I get to meet Holton?" I asked peering over his phone. He pulled his phone to his chest, looking over at me. "Soon" He stated going back to his texts. I rolled my eyes. "I'm starting to think he's not real" I rolled my eyes leaning back against his headboard. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh he's real alright" He smiled. I cringed and pushed him. "Dude, gross" Matt said from across from us, making me laugh. He set his phone down turning it off and turning towards me, smiling. "You really like him" I stated looking at his face. He smiled and looked down.

"Yeah" He breathed. "I thought it would be scary, but it's not" He shook his head. I just watched him as he spoke. "like being in love? It's pretty cool you know?" He smiled up at me. I swallowed and looked down.

"Well I guess you don't, but still you can imagine" He smiled placing his hand on my knee. I smiled softly up at him and nodded looking over at Matt who was now tuned out of the conversation.

"Yeah I can imagine" I said softly. He sighed leaning back and turning on his TV. I leaned back crossing my arms over my chest trying not to let his words effect me.

Suddenly I heard the door open making my heart drop, because I knew before I looked up who it was going to be. He peeked his light brown hair through the door and peered in making Matt and Nick look up. I stared down at my lap, not even letting myself look up at him. I was too scared.

"Hey" Matt said looking up from his phone. I felt Chris look over at me, but I stayed looking at my lap. "Hey, I'm going out. Don't wait up" Chris mumbled. I picked at my nails as a million thoughts ran through my head. Where was he going? Why was he going out? Who was he going with?

"Oh yeah, you're going to that party with Mia right?" Matt said looking up at him. I physcially felt my heart sink into my chest, feeling my emotions rush through me all the way to my fingertips. Like a wave of sadness rushing through me. I looked up catching Chris's eyes. I bit my lip and looked away, pretending it didn't effect me, but I had to forced the tears out of my eyes.

"Yeah I-" He paused. I didn't look up, but I felt my eyes start to sting. Already? He's moved on already? It hasn't even been a week and he was already going out with her? I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"I won't be long" He mumbled. I took in a breath. I was strong, but I didn't know If I was this strong. "Okay" Nick said looking up at him. Chris looked over at me one last time before sighing and closing the door.

And that was it.

He was gone.

In more ways than one.

There was someone else already. And I told him I loved him. I was heartbroken and he was going out with someone else. I swallowed. Don't think about it. Don't break. Not in front of Nick.

"Hey, can you go get some waters please?" Nick asked after a few seconds looking over at me. I looked over at him. "Seriously?" I asked. He pouted and looked over at me. I sighed before standing up off the bed. "You're the best friend everrr" He sang as I walked toward his door. I turned and looked at him shaking my head. "I know" I laughed as I closed the door.

The hallway was dark and quiet. I swallowed the all familar fear of maybe seeing or running into Chris being in the front of my head. But he wasn't even here. He was already gone. I didn't know where he went, it's not like he would tell me. I tried not to care, I really tried but it's all I could think about.

I started to walk down the hallway, glancing by his door picturing the scene of us kissing agaisnt the wall feeling my stomach clench. His lips were so soft. His eyes were so blue. Best of all he was him. We were together. I shook my head shaking the imagine from my head as I walked down the stairs.

I sighed as I walked into the kitchen, freezing in place seeing Chris standing leaning against the counter scrolling through his phone. He looked up at me before freezing as well. Silence between us. Just looking at each other. I thought he'd be gone by now.

"Sorry, I was just getting some waters" My voice cracked as I walked up to the fridge, he just watched me. I let out a breath as I stared into the fridge, but I couldn't focus knowing his eyes were on me.

My hands shook as I reached for the waters, begging my emotions to stay deep in my chest. I looked up at him, he just looked at me. I closed the fridge looking at him. "So" I breathed looking down. "Where have you been?" I said quietly looking at him. He bit his lip as he looked at me.

"Elmer's" He stated. I nodded looking down. "How have you been?" He swallowed looking at me. I looked down at the waters, as if they were the most interesting thing in the room. "Good" I lied, and I felt the lie so deep in my chest it hurt me to say it. He let out a breath.

"That's good" He breathed. I looked up at him. He glanced at me. "How are you?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded and looked down. "Yeah, good" He whispered. I swallowed. This was hard. Is this how it was always going to be? So painful?

"Thought you had a party to go to" I swallowed looking at him. He looked at me letting out a breath. "I was about to leave" He nodded. I nodded looking at the ground. "So Mia-" I sighed, I couldn't help myself.

"It's not like that. She just needed someone to go with" He said shaking his head. I looked up at him nodding softly. I swallowed looking down at my feet.

"I saw my mom today" I blurted out making him look up at me with a concerned face. "You did? Where?" He asked stepping towards me. I just watched him. "The grocery store" I whispered. He looked down at me. "She said my dad was back" I swallowed. His face dropped.

"A-Are you okay? What else did she say?" He asked suddenly. I licked my lips and looked to the side. I felt his eyes on me burning into me. I sighed and looked down.

"She asked about my boyfriend" I mumbled and looked up at him. His eyes studied mine, confusion on his face. "The one who got all my stuff from her house" I said looking at him. He sighed and looked down. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt tears in my eyes.

"I can't go back there Chris" I whispered shaking my head. "I'm so scared that he knows where I am" My voice broke. "I can't see him again I-" I cried. I felt him wrap his arms around me and pull me into his chest. "It's okay y/n, you don't have to go back there." He whispered against the top of my head as I shook against him.

I let out a hard breath, leaning back and wiping my eyes. he placed his hand on my face wiping my tears before pausing and pulling his hand back. I sighed and looked away from him.

"Why did you do this to me Chris?" I whispered looking away from him. He stayed silent next to me. I glanced over at him. "You broke my heart" I whispered shaking my head. He clenched his jaw and looked to the side.

"Did you even like me?" I cried shaking my head. "Was it worth it?" I asked as he looked over at me. "What was the point?" I said loudly shaking my head. He just stared at me.

"Was it just a game to see if i'd fall for it?" I asked unable to control the words coming out of my chest. "Y/n" He sighed. "No i get it" I shook my hands stepping back from him.

"I don't get a happy ending. I get that. I've known that for a long time" I stated looking at him. "The only part that's fucked up Chris, is that you knew that" I shook my head. "I told you everything with my family and you listened" I said clenching my jaw.

"If it was some game then why did you let me talk to you about that? Did you even care?" I cried shaking my head. He stepped towards me. "Of course I cared" He said looking down at me.

"You don't" I shook my head. "You never did" I swallowed. He just looked sadly at me as I stood in front of him, biting my lip. "Chris why did you let me fall in love with you if you knew you were going to take it all away?" I asked shaking my head pleading for answers. He looked down.

"You don't love me" He whispered. I sighed stepping forwards. "Yes I do. Chris I love you" I stated shaking my head. He looked up at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"You what?"

I froze. Chris froze. My eyes went wide as I looked at Chris. He looked behind me, all color draining from his face. I turned and saw Nick standing there staring at us with a confused expression on his face. I felt my heart start to beat out of my chest as I stared at my best friend.

No. No. No. No.

"Nick" I stepped towards him. He stepped back looking between us. I swallowed as he looked over at Chris. "Chris?" Nick whispered. Chris stood frozen. "Nick, I can explain. I'll explain everything just--" I started to say but he just shook his head stepping back.

"Oh my god" He breathed looking down before turning and walking out. Tears poured out of my eyes. "Nick please wait--" I cried but I felt my arm being pulled back. I turned and saw Chris shaking his head.

"Wait y/n" He said. I pulled my arm away from him. "Don't" I swallowed. "Don't touch me" I said shaking my head as I turned and followed Nick outside. I pushed the door open.

"Y/n don't" He stated warningly as he walked down the driveway. "Nick, please just let me explain" I cried as I walked up to him. He shook his head and didn't look at me as he unlocked his car.

"Nick please. It's not what it looks like" I shook my head. He glared over at me. "Really? Because it looks like you were just telling my brother you were in love with him" He spat looking over at me. My lip quivered as I looked at my best friend who looked at me like I was a stranger.

"Please" I whispered. He clenched his jaw. "So what? Were you just using me to get close to Chris?" He asked looking away from him. I shook my head. "What? No Nick. No, you are the most important person in my life. Please just listen to me" I said quickly. He looked down at me.

"I was not using you, you have to believe me. It just happened" I breathed looking at him. "I don't believe anything you say and I never will again" He breathed before opening the car door and closing it. I just watched him, tears streaming down my face as he pulled out of the driveway.

I swallowed turning back towards the house seeing Chris standing in the doorway. He looked down at me, worry plastered all over his face. I just shook my head and looked away from him as a sob escaped my throat. I pushed past him and ran up the stairs, hearing no footsteps following me as I slammed my door and pressed my back against it.

I covered my mouth to cover the noise of my sobs as I fell against the door sliding down it, as the tears poured out of eyes. I shook my head. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Please let this be a dream. I cried against my hand, the muffled noise of my cries the only thing echoing through the room.

I tried to breathe but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I lost both of them. I was completely and utterly alone.

-

I don't know how I got here. My feet just led me here. It wasn't hard to find the address. Just one text message now I stood outside of a loud house party. I tilted my head. I stopped crying on my way here. Now I was just numb. Coming into an acceptance of my fate and what I did to get me to this point.

Now I was just here. Looking at all of the people standing outside of the house. Laughing. Smiling. Happy. I swallowed. I could be like them. I could try. Hell, I had nothing left. I could try.

I looked down at my feet and I thought about everywhere I had gone. Everything I had experienced. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Maybe that was true. But if I never loved him, I would still be happy. I would still have my best friend.

So maybe that was all bullshit.

"You just gonna stand there or you walking in?" A guy said walking beside me. I looked up at him. He stopped and smiled at me. His hair was longer, kind of like Chris. But it wasn't Chris. It was just some other kid. I swallowed.

"I haven't decided yet" I stated wrapping my arms around myself. He smiled and shook my head. "Do I know you?" He asked tilting his head at me. I shrugged. "I don't think so" I stated. He smiled and nodded towards the party.

"So I take it you weren't invited?" He asked looking at the house. "What?" I asked looking at him. "This is my house" He said shrugging chuckling slightly. I looked at the house and then towards the boy. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know" I mumbled looking down at my feet. He shook his head stepping towards me.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You can come in if you want" He stated looking at me. I swallowed turning towards the house. The loud music. It was all overwhelming. Maybe this was a bad idea. I should just go home.

But I didn't know if Nick had gone back yet, or if he wanted to see me yet. That scared me more than the party.

I turned back to him. "You left your own house party?" I asked looking back at him. He smiled holding up a black bag. "Just to get more alcohol" He stated looking at the bag. I looked over the bag. "Alcohol?" I asked as I stared at the bag. He moved the bag back down to his side, chuckling slightly.

"Are you from here?" He asked. I nodded. "I went to Somerville" I stated looking at him. He nodded. "So you aren't from space" He stated making me furrow my eyebrows. "What?" I asked staring at him. He smiled pulling out a bottle.

"You looked at the alcohol like you didn't know what it was" He stated looking at me. I let out a breath. "Yeah, no I know what it is" I nodded swallowing. He smiled.

"I'm Paxton" He said holding out a hand. I looked down at him before shaking it loosely. "Y/n" I stated. He smiled and nodded. "Will you please come into my party y/n?" He asked tilting his head at me making me smile. I let out another hard breath.

"Yeah, I guess" I stated nodding. He smiled and motioned me towards the house. I followed him looking down at my shoes, absolutely terrified to see Chris. I couldn't see Chris. What was I doing here?

We walked into the loud house, the noise overwhemling me. I scanned the room breifly, not seeing any sign of Chris or that Mia girl. Which at this point I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

"Hey" I heard his voice again making me look over at him. He motioned me over to him, I hadn't noticed I stopped walking. I moved through the crowd of people before he stopped in front of a counter pulling out bottles of liquor out of the bag and grabbing some cups.

I just watched him, scanning the vodka and jack laid in front of me. My heart beating out of my chest. Visions of a Jack bottle being thrown at the wall beside my head flashing through my mind as he placed a cup out in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked looking up at him. He smiled over at me. "I'm getting you a drink" He stated as if it was the polite thing to do. "Oh I don't know" I said shaking my head. He raised his eyebrows. "You can't come to my party and not drink" He stated looking down at me.

I attempted to move past the cockiness in his voice. I only liked when Chris did that. Chris. I felt my heart clench. No. Numb. Forget. You're fine. You're okay.

He took the vodka and unscrewed it before pouring quite a bit into my cup. I just watched as he poured it. He picked up a sprite bottle before pouring that into my cup as well, just not as much as the vodka.

He did the same in his cup. He picked up both cups before handing me mine. I looked down at the cup and then up at him. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I looked down at the cup.

My parents always got angry when they drank, but I looked around and no one looked angry. They all looked happy. They all looked like they were actually happy. Maybe I was missing something. Maybe alcohol wasn't bad, maybe I just programed myself to think that way. Just because of my parents. Maybe It would be different for me. It wouldn't hurt to try it. If I hated it I would stop.

"Fuck it" I said looking up at him. He smiled and nodded. "Fuck it" He agreed as we both lifted the cups to our mouths. At first it tasted like sprite, but as I swallowed and took a breath a horrible taste of hand sanitizer filled my mouth.

I squeezed my eyes shut and coughed, tasting the alcohol. He laughed down at me. "You okay?" He asked placing his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, shaking my head. "That tastes horrible" I shook my head. He shrugged. "It's get better the more you drink it" He said nodding at me. I looked up at him and then back down at the drink.

I drank a bit more slowly trying to get it down. I shivered and looked at him. He laughed lightly. "See you're a natural" He smiled. I smiled and shook my head. "Thanks" I said shaking my head.

"So you've got a boyfriend?" He asked leaning into me. I sighed and looked down. "Not exactly" I said looking up at him. He just looked down at me. His eyes were brown. I didn't like brown eyes. I liked Chris's blue eyes. They were pretty. His were just dark.

"Not exactly?" He question. I rolled my eyes lifting my drink up to my lips again. "No, I don't have a boyfriend" I stated looking up at him. He nodded tilting his cup up and finishing his drink. I just watched him. How did he drink it that fast?

"You gotta catch up love" He smiled pointing down at my drink. I stared at him. Love? Everything about this felt wrong, because it wasn't with Chris. But I knew I would never have this with Chris. Not again. I swallowed.

This wasn't what I was here to do. Mourn over my relationship with Chris. I was here to forget. To be numb. To be normal. For one night.

I nodded before lifting the cup up my lips and drinking the rest of it, trying not to focus on the taste. He cheered next to me as I shook my head. "I'll get you another one" He smiled taking my cup. I just looked up at him. This was going to be a long night.

-

After he refilled my cup four times, I was drunk. I didn't know I was drunk for a little bit but when I turned and it felt like I was on a carousel, i knew I was. This is what It feels like huh? I giggled to myself leaning over laughing slightly.

The taste did get better the more I drank. And the punch line of Paxton's jokes became funnier. But now I couldn't really stand up straight. It was like I lost the ability to move around with ease. And I lost the abiltiy to take anything seriously. My body felt fuzzy and I hadn't even thought about Chris. It was working.

I reached for the bottle slightly stumbling. "Woah there" Paxton said grabbing my waist. I smiled and shook my head as I pulled the bottle towards me. "I want more" I said closing my eyes. He took the bottle out of my hands.

"You want more? Are you sure?" He asked. I opened my eyes and It was almost like I was looking at Chris. They looked very similar. Except for the eyes. The eyes reminded me that he wasn't him. No one was.

I nodded. "I do" I smiled. He shook his head as he poured more into my cup. I smiled and pulled the cup towards me, lifting it up my mouth. I downed the whole thing putting the cup back down. He raised his eyebrows at me. I smiled loosing my footing slightly stumbling against him. He held me up.

"Have you ever drank before?" He asked looking down at me. I sighed pushing off of him. "No" I smiled. He sighed shaking his head. "But this is fun" I smiled pressing my hands against my face. He shook his head before grabbing my hand and dragging me through the party.

"Where are we going?" I smiled pulling him towards me. He looked back at me. "We're sitting down, you can't stand" He stated as we walked into the living room and sitting down on the couch. I felt the music move through my body, like it was speaking directly to me. I smiled at the feeling.

"I'm doing a great job standing, look" I motioned to myself I stood in front of him spinning around and slightly stumbling into someone. They turned glaring at me. "Sorry" I laughed.

"She's fine Tyler, she's just showing me how good she is at standing" Paxton said looking over at the boy. He turned to me. "Yeah?" He asked looking at me. "I'm doing a great job" I nodded at him. He shook his head.

"How much have you had to drink?" He asked looking down at me. I shurgged looking over at Paxton. "She's had like five drinks" He stated. Tyler looked down at me scanning my figure. "With your body weight? You're fucked" He laughed at me. I glared at him.

"I'm fine" I stated walking over to sit next to Paxton. "Yeah, she's fine" He stated for me. I looked over at him. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind my head. I glanced at him before leaning forward.

I really didn't want him getting the wrong idea. "So what made you show up to my party Y/n?" He asked leaning into me. I shrugged. "Maybe I just wanted to party" I smiled at him. He looked down at my lips. "Yeah?" He whispered. I nodded turning away from him.

"I don't think i've ever seen a girl as pretty as you" He whispered making me look up at him. I just blinked at him. "Yeah? Look around the room" I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling the room start to spin as that last drink began to hit me. Oh no.

I swallowed. The room's not spinning y/n focus. He spoke but I didn't hear him. I looked up at him, my vision going in and out. All I saw was him staring at me.

"I think I drank too much" I breathed, the room beginning to feel stuffy. He smiled and nodded. "I think you drank too much because someone didn't treat you right" I heard him say. I furrowed my eyebrows leaning back against the couch, feeling it took too much energy to sit up anymore.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked looking at him. He shrugged. "You're a pretty girl, and you came here alone" He stated. I looked away from him, realizing just how close he was to me.

I put my hand against his chest pushing him back, moving my face away. He grabbed my hand and leaned into me. "What?" He smiled. I turned my head away as I felt him grip my leg. My heart beat out of my chest.

"I'm not kissing you" I stated quickly, smelling the alcohol on his breath. "Why not? You're pretty" He whispered leaning in towards my neck. I didn't have the mental capacity to push him away. I shook my head, feeling sweat beading at my forehead. Oh god what did i do?

I felt his lips graze my neck before I felt him being pulled off of me completely. I looked up the room spinning but I could make out someone holding the guy by the shirt, he was now standing.

"Get off her" He said clenching his jaw staring at the dude. He pushed the dude back making him stumbling back into some people. I let out a breath when I realized it was Chris. Paxton glared back at him.

"Dude this one is mine, get your own" Paxton yelled back at him. Chris charged up to him, but pushing him back. "That is my own. She's mine" He said hovering over the dude. I've never seen Chris so angry. I felt myself start to breath heavily.

"Chris" I breathed. His head snapped to me before leaning down next to me. "Are you okay?" He asked looking down at me. I smiled from his presence and nodded, laying against him. He froze.

"Are you drunk?" He asked making me giggle against him. He grabbed my arm pulling me to my feet. "Ow" I said holding my arm back. He turned to me. "Why the hell are you drinking?" He asked looking at me. I frowned looking at my shoes.

"Why are you yyyyelling at me?" I said looking up at him. He took in a breath closing his eyes. "Chris? What are you doing? Who is this?" I heard a voice come up to us. I turned seeing the perfect blonde barbie right next to me. I smiled slightly. Mia.

"Y/n don't" I heard Chris's voice.

"You're the girl who he fucks" I said pointing at her. Her eyes went wide. "What? Who the hell are you?" She said crossing her arms over her chest. I looked over at Chris smiling. "Apparently his" I said leaning into his chest. Her face hardened. Chris put his hands on my shoulder pushing me back up.

"What?" Her face turned to Chris. Chris sighed. "Is this why you won't even kiss me?" She tilted her head. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle a laugh. If I was sober, I would not find this siutation funny. But right now it was the funniest thing i've ever seen.

"No--Yes--Kinda. I can't have this conversation right now. I have to get her home" Chris said shaking his head and wrapping his arm under me holding me up. I smiled at her as she glared at me. "She can't handle herself? Chris you came here with me" She said angrily.

"And now he's leaving with me" I smiled. "Stop talking" Chris said looking down at me. I just smiled and looked down at the ground. "Mia, I'm sorry" He shook his head as we turned and moved us through the crowd.

We walked outside the fresh air hitting me. I stumbled over gripping the railing, swallowing back a gag. I didn't know alcohol was suppose to make you lose every sense you had. I couldn't even stand.

"Y/n" Chris sighed as he grabbed my waist, pulling me up. I groaned leaning into his chest. We walked down the steps and I swallowed feeling his hands around me a little too much. I felt my lip quiver.

"Chris get off" I pushed him, stumbling but then straighting out and looking at him. He sighed shaking his head. "What?" I spat shaking my head. "What?" He asked raising his eyebrows. "What? Really? You want to know what?" He asked stepping towards me. I turned my head crossing my arms over my chest.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" He asked stepping up to me. I clenched my jaw and looked away from him. "Getting drunk with a random dude?" He asked shaking his head. I swallowed feeling tears prick at my eyes. "How could you be so irresponsible?" He asked towering over me.

"You can't be that stupid, really. Something bad could have happened. You don't know him, you don't know what he was thinking--" He said shaking his head. "And you do?" I asked shaking my head. "I have a few ideas from the way he was grabbing you" He clenched his jaw. I shook my head.

"Sorry, did you want me to let him continue?" He asked throwing his hands up. "No!" I screamed at him. "Chris I don't want any man to touch me ever again but you!" I screamed at him. "Don't you see how much you destroyed me? And you don't even care!" i yelled at him shaking my head. His angry face softened as I yelled at him.

"You don't even care" I whispered shaking my head feeling tears come to my eyes. He sighed walking up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder. "Y/n, just sit down" He said softly. I pushed his hand off me.

"No" I cried pushing his hand off me. "I'll just go home so you can get back to your girlfriend" I said looking up at him, feeling tears come down my face. "She's not my girlfriend and she's never going to be my girlfriend" He stated calmly. "Yeah and why's that?" I mumbled looking at him. He bit his lip and looked at me.

I shook my head turning my head. "You're right. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry I ruined your party" I mumbled walking past him. He grabbed my arm. "No" He said pulling me back to him. I looked up at him.

"Don't walk away" He stated. I ripped my arm. "What? You can but I can't?" I asked looking at him. He stepped towards me. "Not while you're this drunk. No you can't" He shook his head at me. I swallowed. "I'm not that drunk" I lied. He raised his eyebrows looking down at me.

"Yeah walk in a straight line" He said pointing to the side. I glared up at him before moving to where he pointed as I put one foot in front of the other. I stared down at my feet as I attempted to walk. I held my hands out for balance, but still stumbled.

"Okay, stop" He said walking up to me, grabbing my arm. I pushed him off me. "No I can do it" I swallowed as I continued to walk. He sighed stepping back, but I still stumbled over.

"Y/n stop" He said again. Tears filled my eyes. "No" I cried. He walked up to me grabbing my waist. "Stop" He whispered looking down at me shaking his head. I looked down as tears ran down my face.

"I lost everyone" I cried shaking my head. He just looked down at me. "I don't have anyone, no one loves me" I cried placing my head against his chest. He bit his lip as he looked down at me.

"I'm so scared Chris" I cried. He held me against him.

"I love you"

My cries stopped as the silence of the air surrounded us. I pulled back looking up at him. He looked down at me, concern all over his face. "I love you, y/n" He said again. I stepped back shaking my head.

"N-No you don't" I said shaking my head. He held his hands up. "Why do you think i'm acting like this?" He asked looking at me. "What like going out with other girls? Is that what you're referring to? You don't love me" I shook my head at him. He stepped towards me.

"I love you so much. It's killing me" He said shaking his head. I just watched him. "I've loved you for so long that i'm afraid if i tell you, i'll scare you. I love you so much, it's killing me" He said shaking his head. I just blinked at him.

I held my arm out, putting my hand to my chest. "Y/n? What's wrong?" He asked grabbing my arm. I pushed him away. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly. I shook my head as I leaned over.

He moved next to quickly grabbing my hair as I puked everything I drank onto the ground next to us. He sighed, rubbing my back as I puked. I groaned as I wiped my mouth.

"Are you okay?" He asked leaning down to me. I sighed and sat down on the ground laying down looking up. He sighed smiling slightly down at me before laying down next to me.

"That was really gross" I mumbled, making him chuckle. "It happens to the best of us" He said turning his head and looking over at me. I looked over at him. He smiled sadly at me.

"Do you really?" I whispered. He nodded. "So badly" He whispered back making me close my eyes. I sighed looking back to the sky. "I get why my parents drink" I stated. He just looked at me.

"I forgot about you for a while" I said turning back to him. Hurt plastered all over his face. "It worked until it didn't" I mumbled. He licked his lips.

"We're you going to kiss that guy if I didn't pull him off of you?" He asked slightly. I sat up, he sat up with me. "No" I said looking down at my lap. "Why not?" He asked looking at me. "He didn't have blue eyes" I said smiling slightly looking up at him. He smiled looking down at me.

"Were you going to kiss that girl?" I asked looking at him. He shook his head. "Why not?" I asked. "She's beautiful" I whispered looking down. "She's not even in the same world as you" He whispered making bit my lip.

I stood up.

"I can't Chris" I shook my head. He stood up quickly. "Why not?" He asked looking down at me. I shook my head. "You've done nothing but hurt me, why should I trust anything you say? All you do is hurt me" I sighed shaking my head. He sighed looking down.

"I'll explain everything when you're sober y/n I promise" He said shaking his head. I swallowed looking away. "Chris I can't" I whispered again. "Y/n please. I'm begging you. I'm so sorry" He said grabbing my hands. I shook my head.

"I'm not doing this again" I swallowed looking up at him. He shook his head. "No" He whispered. I pulled my hands back. "I'm sorry" I whispered stepping back and turning.

"Y/n, wait please don't do this" He said as I walked away. I just looked down. "Y/n, wait I have to tell you something" He said but I didn't stop I just kept walking.

"It's about Nick" He breathed making me stop in my tracks. I turned and looked at him, my heart starting to beat. I just stared at me.

He closed his eyes and turned his head.

"It's Holton" He said. I stepped towards him. "What about Holton?" I asked looking at him. He swallowed. He pointed towards the house.

"He was in there" He stated. I looked towards the house, shaking my head not understanding. "He was kissing someone" He said softly. I felt my heart drop. No. My heart broke for Nick.

"He was kissing a girl"

With that I was completely sober.

woahhh that was a long oneeeee hope u loved it sorry if it was all over the place

tag list: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja

[daisyvisions]

Hide and Seek - (l.hj)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: Best friend!Hyunjae x afab!reader

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: You thought avoiding your feelings by completely avoiding Hyunjae would solve everything. But a little game of hide and seek changes that.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 2.7K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), bff-idiots-to-lovers, mutual pining, close proximity, pussy job (? we’ll classify it as such), fingering, slight oral (f! receiving), cum eating, groping (lots of it), pet names (honey and sweetheart), premature ejaculation (if you squint), a lil angsty but happy ending ofc! proofread once

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: a more detailed version of this ask (obv) and all the other asks that were related to this. Belated Happy Birthday to my bias wrecker I hope you’re happy with all the brain rots you’ve given me ever since 😭

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were just supposed to spend the night with good company, good music, and maybe even play some drinking games here and there. But nothing could've prepared you for the what was to come. Nothing could’ve prepared you to be stuck inside a stuffy closet with the person you were trying to avoid this entire night…

Lee Hyunjae.

It’s not that you had any bad blood with him. It was quite the opposite. You two were like peas in a pod. Best of friends ever since you met in college. But lately… you’ve been having these weird feelings for him.

Yes, he was incredibly handsome. You knew that ever since you met him. But how come only now you’ve started to notice the way his eyelashes would flutter gracefully every time he blinked? The way his eyes would have this tiny little sparkle to them when he would look at you?

Or the way he his muscles would move under his tight shirt whenever he would stretch? Or the way his cologne would infiltrate your lungs and keep you dizzy almost the whole day? Or that one time he called you “honey” so sweetly with his warm voice? (Which nearly had you pressing your thighs together to ease the tension blooming down at your core.)

Yeah, this wasn’t any ordinary feeling. This was you… having a crush on Hyunjae.

Just saying his name alone makes your throat feel dry and the butterflies in your stomach fluttering like crazy. You don't even know when this all started. But one thing’s for sure- you would rather die than admit your feelings to him.

The fear of rejection and your entire friendship ruined at an instant. So you thought the best way for these feelings to die down was to just avoid him. And so you did… for about two months now.

But little did you know that distance only makes the heart grow fonder.

Muffled music and people shouting over one another were heard from outside as you climbed up the steps to the house. As soon as you ring the doorbell, you’re greeted by a shit-faced but still incredibly smiley Haknyeon.

“Hey! You’re here!” he pulled you in for a tight hug, instantly smelling the strong scent of alcohol he’d been drinking the whole night.

“Yeah, had to make sure I wouldn't miss your birthday Hak.” You reply.

“And to think, we were almost about to place bets on whether you would show up or not” he chuckles. That sentence slightly stinging as you felt guilty for purposefully avoiding your friends too in the process (since your friends were also Hyunjae’s friends.)

“Well… Don't just stand there. C’mon! You have a LOT to catch up on. And by that I mean the drinks-” Hakyneon grabs your wrist and leads you into the kitchen. And boy did you make you drink.

As the night went on, you were able to catch up with more friends, danced until your feet were starting to get sore, and played lots of drinking games. Eventually, the party slowly started to die down and almost all the guests invited were gone except your close circle of friends.

All of you were just sitting down in a circle in the middle of the living room laughing around, sharing stories of what happened tonight, and just enjoying each other’s presence.

You missed this. You missed being with all your friends. But of course, your stubborn ass refused to be around Hyunjae which made it incredibly difficult having him sit across you with a look in his eyes you couldn’t read.

“Oh oh I know! Why don’t we play hide and seek?” Hakyneon shouts, his speech slurred from having too much to drink.

“Aren’t we a little too old to be playing that?” Chanhee replies.

“Not if you’re drunk. It’ll be ten times more fun!” Eric chimes in.

“Okay! We’re playing it. I’ll be seeker, you guys hide. Ready? I’ll count to one hundred.” Haknyeon instantly covers his eyes. “One… two… three…” The shuffling of feet and drunk giggles were heard as soon as he starts counting, everyone in the circle hastily gets up and runs in different directions trying to find their hiding spots.

You were frozen in place for a moment, trying to figure out where to hide until you just decided to trust your gut and run upstairs to find whatever available spot you could.

You opened the first room your gut was telling you to and spotted a small walk-in closet, quickly running to open the door and shut it close before anyone could steal your spot.

You were too distracted by the sound of your heart was beating so fast from all the running and excitement that you didn’t notice a pair of hands lightly grabbing your shoulders until you turned around. You nearly screamed your head off but your mouth was instantly clamped down by the same hand now covering your mouth.

“Hey, it’s only me. Calm down.” Hyunjae whispers. You let out a sigh of relief as he puts down his hand.

“We can’t be in the same spot, he’ll find us so quick.” you protest.

“Well, I was here first so you’re gonna have to find a new spot to hide in.” He replies.

As soon as Hyunjae finishes speaking, you both hear Haknyeon’s voice from a distance screaming that he’s ready to find everyone.

“Great, now I’m stuck in here with you.” You sigh.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing now would it?” He smirks at you. Your heart beating fast once again from the cute little dimple appearing at the side of his mouth.

You both silently gaze at each other for a moment, nothing but the sound of the both of you breathing at the same time. He looks at you with the same eyes he had earlier.

“I missed this…” Hyunjae whispers. His hand slightly moving forward for his pinky to slightly touch yours.

“Missed what?” You reply as you try to avoid looking at him any longer.

“Us.”

“Hyunjae-”

“Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”

“I-it’s not that. I-”

“Then why?” His voice raises slightly. “Do you know how miserable I felt ever since you suddenly cut yourself off from me? Without giving me a reason why?” And that’s when you look back at him. His eyes were filled with a kind of sadness you have never seen before. Your chest started to tighten, feeling incredibly guilty for what you did all because of the fear you had.

You open your mouth to try to say something back until you hear faint footsteps walking down the hall. Your eyes slightly widen and you turn around to peer through the tiny slits of the closet door, trying to see if Haknyeon will enter the room.

As you keep watch you suddenly feel Hyunjae’s hands rest on your hips as he leans in close to check with you, your back now glued to his chest.

“You think he knows we’re in here?” He whispers in your ear. His voice and warm breath sending chills down your spine.

“If we can keep quiet and cross our fingers maybe.” You sigh, closing your eyes for a moment and leaning your head back to calm down your nerves.

As soon as Hyunjae turns his head slightly, the tip of his nose brushes against the side of your head. The faint scent of your shampoo hitting his nose (the scent he grew to love the most) has his eyes nearly rolling back from how good you smell.

But he suddenly snaps out of it realizing how close he is to you right now and he internally freaks out. His nerves get the better of him as he impulsively tightens the grip of his hands on your hips, making you let out a very faint gasp from the sudden pressure on your skin.

Both of you try to ease the current situation by shuffling your positions, turning the opposite directions into each other. But because you didn’t realize how close you actually were, your lips ever so lightly brush against his. You both freeze in that moment.

“Uh- I- I’m sorry” Hyunjae stutters as he starts to freak out from the whole situation. He should probably let go of your hips and back away before anything worse happens but he just couldn’t. Not when you’re this close to him, your breath practically mingling with his.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

The one chance he thought he could patch things up between the two of you now ruined by the lightest touch of your lips against his, the feeling that will forever engrave itself onto his lips. Sounds pretty lame for others but to him? It’s everything and more.

You see, the whole night Hyunjae’s been trying to find the courage to confront you about why you’d been so distant with him. The week you started avoiding him he genuinely felt like he fucked it all up.

Was his crush on you getting too obvious? Were his longing gazes making you feel uncomfortable? Did calling you a pet name want to make you puke? Or when his hands would rest on your waist every so often? Or how about that time he stared a little too long at your ass the day you wore that fitted skirt? Did you think he was a perv? God you probably thought he was a perv.

He felt like he already ruined the friendship without even admitting his feelings to you. It didn’t help either at the fact that you looked so beautiful tonight too. He almost wanted to kiss you the moment he saw you enter the house. To pull you away from Hak and just kiss you like a man starved.

But just like you, he also was afraid of the possible rejection from the one person that held his heart at the palm of their hands since day one.

But all the worries running in his head were cut off when you suddenly leaned forward to finally give him a real kiss. You pull away for a moment to see his reaction but you don't even have the time to do so as he pulls you back in and kisses you back.

His lips desperately move against yours, taking into memory how soft they feel. The way they move with his like a missing puzzle piece.You softly whine with every kiss he gives as you slightly tug his hair between your fingers (and he definitely moans at that.)

You both have been wanting this for so long without realizing it. Everything left unsaid, all the stolen glances, the passion fueling inside you… All unleashed in this tiny little closet.

Hyunjae moves you backwards until you’re pressed against the wall. He nudges your legs apart with his knee as his kisses travel down from your lips, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck until his face reaches your breasts. He doesn’t even hesitate and starts to massage your breast with one hand and mouth your covered nipple as much as he could.

“Hyunjae…” You moan out his name.

“Hmm?” He hums kissing your covered chest.

“Please-” he stops for a moment to look at you.

“Tell me what you need and fuck- I’ll give it to you”

“You. I need you.”

Hyunjae doesn’t even bother asking specifics and just does whatever feels right. His fingers unbutton the front of your jeans, sliding his hand inside like he’s done this a million times before. The tips of his fingers slide in-between your folds, making him groan against your mouth from how wet you are.

Your hips slightly jolt as soon as his fingers find your sensitive bud. He slowly rubs your clit in circular motions, making you moan out his name in pleasure. Just hearing you say his name like that makes Hyunjae’s knees almost feel like jelly.

“I love you so fucking much you have no idea.” He suddenly blurts out, hoping it doesn’t scare you away. You palm his clothed erection, unbuttoning his pants the same way he did with you.

“Then show me.”

Hyunjae immediately pulls down his pants along with his boxers enough to free his aching cock from its confinement. Your mouth waters at the sight of his size. Too distracted by staring at his cock, you don't even notice Hyunjae pulling down your own jeans until you feel the slight breeze on your exposed cunt.

His knee nudges your legs apart a bit more as he holds the base of his cock, angling the head to insert through your folds. You instinctively close your legs again, trapping his member as he slowly bends his knee to thrust himself.

He holds your waist for support as you continue feeling his cock glide through your wet folds, nudging your sensitive clit in the process. You both moan when the head of his cock nearly gets caught at your entrance, tempting him to just push the tip in.

“Hyunjae…” You desperately call out his name as you grab his hair and tug on it again. He doesn’t know how long he’ll last especially with how your sweet voice sounds saying his name. God how he missed you so much.

“Just a little more okay? Are you close?” He asks.

“Uh-huh. Don’t stop-” You beg. Hyunjae quickens his thrusts through your folds like his life depended on it. You almost let out a guttural moan as soon as you feel the knot inside you snap, but Hyunjae is quick to muffle it by kissing you.

You were so out of touch from your high that you didn’t even realize Hyunjae reaching his own high in that moment as well. The sound of him moaning and slipping his tongue into your mouth is what brought you back. Feeling his load spilled through your folds and the sounds of your arousals mixing together is almost enough for you to go again despite feeling a bit sensitive.

“Shit- I’m so sorry-” Hyunjae panics. He didn’t expect to cum so quick. All he wanted was to make you feel good. He feels his cheeks are on fire from embarrassment, afraid that this is what will drive you away from him again.

“L-let me clean you up-” Hyunjae drops to his knees.

“What are you do-oh my god” you gasp. You feel his tongue lapping at your cunt, trying to clean up the mess he made with his mouth. The act alone makes his cock twitch again, but he gets back up as soon as he’s done.

You pull him by his collar to kiss him once more, tasting your mixed arousals before pulling away. You both help each other fix up before looking at each other.

“Did you mean it?” You ask him. “When you said you loved me?”

Hyunjae hesitates for a split second, but after what just happened he comes clean. “Yeah, I did. Ever since I met you.” His hand caressing the side of your face. Your eyes soften as your heart flutters inside, giving him a peck on the lips.

“Good, because I feel the same way. Actually… that’s why I avoided you.” you shyly say.

Hyunjae smiles before giving you a peck on the lips. “You’re adorable you know that?”

“Let’s get out of here. I think our friends are looking for us” Hyunjae says, making you remember why you’re in the closet again to begin with. You grab his hand as he opens the closet door.

You both nearly get startled as soon as you see very irritated Haknyeon standing in-front of you with his hands perched on each side of his hips,

“You know, the point of hide and seek is to be quiet. If you’re gonna do some nasty shit in my closet at least do it IN SILENCE…”

[sopebubbles]

Nine

Master list

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: encounters with people from your past challenge your future with the pack.

Warnings: people generally being assholes, mentions of blood, car accident

WC: 8.2k

A/N: when i came home and said i wanted to write, beastie said "make it hurt" so lets blame this on her.

It's been three weeks since the pack left for the new house, leaving Yoongi and Jimin behind to fix some minor repairs on the old house and wait for you. Just this morning, Yoongi had finished patching up a hole in the drywall where Namjoon had once tripped and pushed his hand through just with his own strength. But there was still no sight or scent of you.

Yoongi had just finished making a sandwich when the front door opened and Jin walked in. 

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Yoongi grumbled before biting into his lunch.

"I came to see you," Jin replied, almost convincingly casual.

"Why?" The younger man asked with a full mouth.

Jin sighed, he genuinely wanted to be pleasant. This wasn't the first time he had come to the house and wanted to patch things up with Yoongi, but the man wasn't making it easy with his cold behavior. Still, Jin decided it would be best to be upfront so he could have a real conversation with him. "We got an offer on the house this morning."

Yoongi paused mid bite before he continued and chewed without responding.

"I wanted to run it by you," Jin continued.

Yoongi snorted. "What does it have to do with me? It's your house, yours and Hoseok's. The one your parents bought you. I've never been anything but a guest here."

"That's not true, Yoongi. You know it's not. You're an important part of our lives. I know I was selfish, but please give me a chance to show you how sorry I am and how much I love you," Jin begged. "I'll do anything."

Yoongi turned his head away, unable to look Jin in the eyes. "The only thing I want right now isn't something you can give me," he admitted. He wished that he could think of anything other than you, but even patching things up with Jin wasn't something that he could focus on for very long.

"You still haven't seen her?" Jin asked softly. Yoongi shook his head.

"Looks like she really doesn't need me to be her alpha. Hoseok was right."

Jin took a step closer, wishing he could get close enough to comfort his packmate. He'd still think of Yoongi that way no matter what. "I'm certain Hobi didn't mean that. And she doesn't seem to know what she needs, to be honest. She'd be incredibly lucky to have you as an alpha, Yoongi." 

He couldn't respond, too choked up on his own emotions. He knew that Jin was right, because he knew he'd be the best alpha possible to you, but right now he was just a mess. 

"One of the ways my mom has used to get inside my head is telling me that you want to take the pack alpha position from me," Jin admitted. 

Yoongi looked at him with surprised eyes and lifted brows. "When have I ever made you think I wanted to do that?"

Jin shrugged. "You kinda have pack alpha energy. Even my mom noticed it the few times she met you. And ever since we met you've always argued with me. Honestly, since you came to us I've always been a little insecure about it."

Yoongi laughed quietly. "To be completely honest, when I first met you guys I thought maybe I could take the leader position from you. But as soon as I got to know you, I didn't feel like I needed to."

"What changed your mind?"

"The way that you treated Tae after the incident. You were so gentle and caring with him. You never made him feel bad for what happened or shamed him. You just took care of him. And then I knew you would take care of all of us, so that's when I remember falling for you."

Jin frowned. "I'm sorry I didn't live up to that version of myself."

"You can probably do it again," Yoongi shrugged.

"I promise, I'm really trying." A moment of silence passed between them but the air felt a little lighter. "Will you and Jimin come home, please? It won't be right for any of us until you guys are there. We all miss you both."

Yoongi nodded sadly, "I guess I can't wait for her forever."

"Hobi has been putting together a room for her," Jin told him, but it only seemed to make Yoongi's heart stink further. "You will find her, Yoon."

"How?" Yoongi breathed.

"I don't know. There's this old thing that people used to talk about, called fated mates. No one really believes in them anymore. But the idea is, some people are meant to come into your life, and I don't think you would feel like this for no reason."

If you're wondering why you haven't gone to Yoongi yet, it's because things were actually going quite well for you, at least by comparison. One company on Jimin's list stood out to you immediately. The cleaning service was owned by an omega named Ana, and you learned that she was particularly passionate about helping other omegas who escaped abusive situations like she had. She knew working gave you the ability to be independent, but that it wasn't easy to keep up. She took one look at you and knew you were exactly the kind of girl who needed her help. Jimin's name only sealed the deal, though she didn't bother to call him up. When she said someone was needed to clean at the public library, you jumped at the chance to work somewhere you already knew. 

It had been three weeks now, and everything was going well, by your standards. You were still staying at the shelter, but you'd already gotten your first paycheck and in a month or two you might be able to get yourself out of there. For the first time in several months, you felt like things might be okay.

It was almost the end of your shift when you saw them. They were standing in the aisle you were about to turn down to dust, but you pulled back as soon as their scents hit you and hid yourself behind the end of the row of shelves. Sure, those scents could belong to anyone. Everyone's scent was unique, but lots of people shared general scents. You were hardly the only apple scented omega in the world. But the combination of chestnut and pine was too familiar. It had layered the pack's house and mingled in a uniquely homey way. You were certain that it was Seokjin and one of his other alphas. You'd never gotten his name. You'd never even spoken to him or looked at him directly. For good reason, too. He was absolutely massive, standing at least a foot over you. One look at his hands and you knew that he could kill you if you upset him. Seokjin was tall and broad as well, and Taehyung was not much smaller at all, but for some reason it was the unnamed one that terrified you most. The two of them together were downright terrifying, and your brain did a good job of reminding you of that every time your inner voice started longing for Yoongi or Jimin or Hoseok.

You decided to turn back the way you came before they could smell you, too. You could hide in your custodian's closet for the next twenty minutes of your shift. It was Saturday and the library would be closed tomorrow. A little dust could wait until Monday morning.

You emerged from the closet at the end of your shift, having changed out of your cleaning uniform and into jeans and Yoongi's hoodie. It didn't smell like him anymore, but you were reminded of his scent every time you used the citrus scented cleaner for the floors. It was a mockery of his natural smell, but it brought him to mind nonetheless. Few scents have been imprinted into your brain as deeply as that one. There was a card in the front pocket of the hoodie, just a small rectangle with a name and contact information printed on it and Jimin's neat, careful numbers written on the back. The cardstock had lost its stiffness after the hours you've spent clutching it, the corners were tearing from all the worrying of your fingernails, like they were doing now.

Go catch them, she whispered in your head as you watched two tall, broad sets of shoulders walk through the doors of the library.

You know what Seokjin will do to you. 

You don't know. Yoongi wouldn't let him.

Round and round they went again, never giving you a moment's peace. 

Please call Jimin.

You walked toward the information desk where Maria sat at her computer, next to the phone.

"All done for today, Y/N?" Maria asked with a pleasant smile. You nodded.

"Can I use your phone to make a call? Mine was stolen. It's local."

"Yeah, of course. Just dial nine to call out," she said as she turned the telephone toward you.

This is a bad idea.

You picked up the receiver and pulled out the card from your pocket. You dialed nine, then five, and then you froze. A scent filled your nose, one that you hadn't smelled in many years. One you thought you'd never smell again. It was spearmint stronger than any gum or mouthwash. His scent was always so potent, you were amazed your sap parents couldn't smell it. How could they have thought he was one of them? You turned to look for him, but he saw you first.

"Y/N?"

"Eli?" You asked, astonished. You couldn't have expected to see him in this city. 

"What are you doing here?" He wondered, stepping close to you. For a moment you thought he might try to hug you, but you were never like that with your adopted brother. You hadn't seen him since you were thrown out of your parents house, and you always figured it was best that way. 

The years between his presentation and yours had been tense. You could smell him as soon as his scent started to develop. It was the first sign you had that you wouldn't turn out sap like they said you might—truthfully, your average sapiens don't understand the genetics of cross-breeding that well. And of course he was terrified of you giving away his secret, no matter how vehemently you vowed that you wouldn't. You only ever hoped you could be as lucky as him. To be a beta and to go undetected for as long as possible. But it didn't work out like that for you, and all these years you might have resented him a bit for that. 

"I work here," you confessed, looking around as people went about their business in the library. Maria looked to be paying you no mind. "I just finished. What brings you here?" 

"Just returning some books. Are you free?"

You finally placed the receiver back in its cradle and removed your hand. "Yeah, what did you have in mind?"

"Are you hungry?" Eli asked. You were and you weren't. On the one hand you hadn't eaten yet that day, but on the other, your stomach was twisted in its usual knots. You nodded anyway.

Eli took you to a diner close by and promised he was paying so you could order anything you wanted. You ordered a cheese burger to try to pack in as many calories as you could in one meal. 

"Do you still talk to them?" You asked quietly after you'd run out of small talk. Eli held your gaze for a moment before he answered.

"Sometimes," he admitted. "It's not like they were ever big talkers. But they know I'm here and about my job, my fiance."

"Fiance?"

"Yeah. We're planning to get married next year." You nodded thoughtfully. "She's sap, and she doesn't know about me," he admitted, unprovoked. You looked him deeply in the eyes before you spoke. You couldn't help feeling jealous of what that must be like, to be able to deny yourself so easily.

"How is that going?" 

"Pretty well. It's not a problem," he said, but it didn't seem to ring true on his face.

"What about you? You work at the library?"

"I clean there. I just started this month." You shifted uneasily in your chair, a little because you were uncomfortably full but also because he had been talking about himself most of the time and how he was turning the attention on you, and that never felt like a good thing.

"Oh, nice. Your pack lets you work?" 

His question caught you off guard because for one thing, you were surprised that he assumed you had a pack. For someone who was denying who they were to their most intimate partner, he sure did jump to the conclusion that you wouldn't be. But you didn't appreciate the fact that he thought you needed permission to work. For some reason you couldn't really understand, you said, "yeah."

"That's interesting. You don't meet a lot of omegas out there working in public. Seems like most alphas like to keep them locked up at home."

You wanted to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. As far as you could tell, Eli has less experience with Lykos culture than you did. What did he know about alpha and omega dynamics? But you didn't bother. "Well, my alpha isn't like that."

Eli brushed off his hands as he finished his fries. "That's good. Let me take you home. I'd like to meet them."

You didn't know the address of the pack's house, but you remembered how to get there from the library, and you were able to direct him there without much trouble. 

"It's that blue one up there," you told him when he turned onto the right street.

"This one?" Eli asked with a raised eyebrow, seeing what you did at the same time: a for sale sign with a triumphant red 'SOLD' sign sitting atop it. You swallowed thickly and felt your eyes begin to burn.

See, all these weeks of torturing yourself with indecision, and they didn't want you anyway. You never listen to me.

You could feel Eli's eyes on you, waiting for an explanation, so you cleared your throat. "I don't actually live here. I stayed here for a little bit, with a pack, but I guess they've moved on."

"Your pack left you?" He asked incredulously.

You shook your head, "they aren't actually my pack. They just took care of me for a few days when I was sick. It was a while ago. I just didn't want to tell you where I'm really staying, so I lied."

"What were you gonna do if they were here and I asked to meet them?" Eli smirked and you shrugged.

"Hope they'd play along until you left."

"And then what?"

And then ask if I could stay.

Idiot.

"I don't know," you admitted. You had no idea what you were going to do if you saw them. You didn't know what you would have said if you'd called Jimin and he'd answered earlier.

"You still haven't learned to think ahead, have you, Y/N?" Eli sighs and puts the car back in drive. "So, where are you staying?" 

You sit up straighter in your seat and reach for the door. "It's fine. You can leave me here. I've wasted enough of your time tonight."

"Don't worry about it. Just tell me where to go."

You directed Eli downtown to the shelter, only for him to have the reaction you had feared. You moved quickly to get out of his car but his hand on your arm stopped you.

"Y/N, why are you staying here?" His voice was filled with shock.

"I'm just going through a little rough patch. I'll be back on my feet soon. I have a job. I just need time," you rushed out all your defenses.

"Do you need money?" 

"No! God, I don't want your money."

"Y/N, you can't stay here. I've heard awful things about this place."

"Well, it's better than the street, or some predator."

"You can do better than this."

"I'm trying, okay! You think I like this? I don't. But what's it to you anyway! We meet randomly after five years and you're suddenly an over protective big brother? Do you think my life has been easy?" You've started to shake and you knew you were getting hysterical, but you didn't need his opinion on things he would never understand.

"Y/N, I know things haven't been easy for you. Let me help," he offered softly.

"How can you possibly help me?" You sat in the passenger seat with your arms crossed, looking every bit his teenage sister.

Eli swallowed before he spoke. "Come stay at my place for a bit."

"At your place?" He nodded. "What about your fiance? Doesn't she hate Lykos?"

"I never said she hated them."

"Us."

"Us. She just had some bad experiences with some alphas when she was younger. She doesn't really like to be around our kind," he explained, as if that made it better.

"Doesn't it make you feel crazy to have to pretend all the time?"

Eli shrugged. "I'm used to it…with our parents. They still don't know about me. It's not that hard, really. You can pretend for a little bit. You can get heat suppressants or whatever."

You know he's right.

You leaned your head back against the headrest and closed your eyes.

I don't want to pretend anymore.

What's so great about being the real you?

I'm gonna call–

If you were going to call him you would have by now and besides, they literally gave you a sign. It was all a lie. Just go with Eli. 

You sighed. "I have some stuff inside. If I leave it, they'll throw it out."

"I'll wait," Eli said and let you get out of the car. 

Yoongi and Jimin arrived at the new house just as Hoseok was finishing dinner preparations. Taehyung had set the table for seven, and for the first time in weeks it felt complete. No one would hold it against Yoongi for needing space, or for doing what he needed to do in hopes of bringing you into their pack, but that didn't mean they hadn't missed him and Jimin like crazy.

And it wasn't as though they hadn't seen each other at all. Taehyung had driven Hoseok back to the old house on many occasions, to bring his boys food or to take their laundry, no matter how many times Yoongi insisted they could go to the laundromat. He couldn't bear the thought of it. Jungkook stopped by after work anytime he didn't have a night shift. Namjoon and Jin had come over a few evenings when Yoongi was working so that Jimin wouldn't feel lonely.

It was strange for Jimin to spend time alone. He'd spent most of his adolescence surrounded by others and then the last four years in a pack house where someone was always home. In fact, the point in his life when he was the most alone was right before he met Yoongi and the others, and moving in with them had been a huge relief. Jimin hadn't been exactly lonely during those weeks when it was just him and Yoongi, but the quiet was hard to get used to, and the noise that surrounded their return was welcomed and familiar.

No one was going to admit it, because they were too happy to be back together again, but the time apart hadn't been the worst thing in the world. It had given them space to work on bonds that they had not paid as much attention to as maybe they should have. Seokjin and Namjoon had gone on several dates, just the two of them, the pack leader letting his mate take him to every museum in town and casual trips to the library. Jin hadn't even realized how much he was neglecting the second alpha in his pack, nor how much he had truly missed quality time with him. As soon as the realization hit him, he made a heartfelt apology to Namjoon for focusing too much attention on Hoseok and their plans. Of course, Namjoon forgave him easily. He always would.

Namjoon couldn't really put it into words, but his alpha status had never sat quite right with him until he met Seokjin. Sure, he was large and strong and everything an alpha should be on the outside, but he'd never felt the stereotypical aggression or need for control that alphas were known for. This had always felt like a character flaw in himself until he met Jin, who simultaneously had shown him that being an alpha didn't mean he had to be an asshole, and who was also willing to take on the burden of control that Namjoon rejected. When he met Jin, he could just be himself, and for that he would always love him above all others.

Hoseok, too, had used his time wisely in getting more in touch with the feelings of his younger packmates. The fact that he hadn't realized how insecure Taehyung had been feeling and how often Jungkook had been sleeping outside of the nest ate at him constantly. Although he and Tae had been companions at home for years now, Hoseok made a concerted effort to spend more quality time with him, to ask him his opinions on every detail of the new house, not only so he would feel included and welcome or because of his artistic eye but because of the boxy grin Tae gave him every time gave him immeasurable happiness.

Jungkook got the lion's share of Hoseok's attention whenever he got home from work, whether it was 5 pm or 5 am. It always involved lots of touching and scent marking, although if Jungkook came home smelling like lavender and oranges, Hoseok spent considerable more focus on getting those smells onto his own body. If he had a hard time getting Jungkook to smile and laugh once he was in the nest, Hoseok would gently coax him into talking so he could comfort the beta. 

On the whole, everyone in the new house was feeling much better than they had a month or even months ago, except for the fact that two integral parts of their lives were missing. It didn't feel the same as it did before they met Yoongi and Jimin. They had been irreversibly changed. And those two hadn't quite seemed to benefit as much from the separation as the rest.

Jimin squealed and giggled as Jungkook lifted him off the ground and spun him around. "Put me down, Kookie!"

"Never," the other beta mumbled into his shoulder. "I missed you too much."

"I saw you two days ago," Jimin reminded him.

"That's two days too long."

Yoongi couldn't help smiling at the betas as they greeted each other. It warmed his heart to see how little changed between them as Jungkook began to scent mark Jimin until he smelled like something fresh out of the dryer.

"I'm glad you're back," Hoseok said as he cupped Yoongi's smiling cheek in his hand. His heart ached when he watched the man's smile diminish.

"Yeah, I missed you guys," Yoongi admitted, but somehow the omega could tell that longing for his pack wasn't the dominant feeling in his heart at that moment.

"Let's eat dinner, and then I'll show you around the rest of the house," Hoseok encouraged and Yoongi nodded, setting down his bag before going to the table.

"You made kimchi-jjigae?" Jimin asked before taking a seat.

"I wanted to do something special, so I made your favorite to welcome you home," hoseok shrugged.

Jimin walked over and put his arms around the omega in a tight hug. "I love you, hyung."

"I love you, too, Jiminie," he smiled into the man's soft hair. Yoongi watched with a smile of his own. Nothing was as nice as watching Jimin get doted on the way he deserved, and he felt a pang of guilt for having kept the man to himself for so long. Yoongi had heaped tons of love and attention on him during their time alone, but Jimin always deserved more. He was sure he'd feel the same way about you if– Yoongi cut off his own thoughts. He wasn't going to go there anymore. He needed to give up for the sake of his pack, and he knew it. It wouldn't be easy, but he had to. He couldn't let himself believe in anything as fickle as fate to bring you to him.

After they'd all eaten until they were stuffed, Hoseok led Yoongi upstairs by the hand. 

"That's the master bedroom," he pointed out as they passed it by. "This is the room we hope will be the nursery," he said walking by the middle room on the second floor. Yoongi gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "And this room is for your little pup."

Yoongi swallowed thickly as he walked into the room. The walls had been painted a serene shade of sea foam green and the mattress was fitted with cream colored bedding.

"I didn't think she was a pink kind of girl. Or at least I wasn't sure, so Taehyung suggested this color might be soothing for her. What do you think?"

 "You guys worked so hard on this." Yoongi ran his fingers down the gauzy cream curtains. "It's great, Hobi, but," Yoongi sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "She's not coming."

Hoseok frowned and settled himself atop Yoongi's lap. The alpha wrapped his arms around his waist naturally to hold him in place as he had so many times. "She hasn't come yet. But that doesn't mean she won't. I know you're feeling hopeless, but you need to have a little faith."

Yoongi looked up at him with weary eyes. "How can you be so positive about it?"

"I might be a tad bit more objective about it than you are," Hoseok smiled as he leaned into him. 

"Every minute feels like an eternity," Yoongi whispered.

"I really think she might be your fated mate," Hoseok giggled.

"Do you actually believe in that stuff?"

The omega shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think I've ever met any, but as you know, I don't get out much. I only know stories. Do you have a better explanation for it?"

Yoongi thought quietly for a moment, opening and closing his mouth as he searched for the right words, but he thought maybe they didn't exist. "All I know is it feels wrong to know that she's out there…in the world…and I'm not there to protect her."

Hoseok gently knocked their heads together. "Sounds like fated mates to me." Yoongi rolled his eyes playfully. "Don't give up yet, Yoon. Jimin and Jungkook found her by chance, but that doesn't mean it wasn't meant to be. When the time comes, you'll be in the right place at the right time, too."

"I hate the feeling that I won't be there before something terrible happens."

Hoseok clicked his tongue at the man. "You're so paranoid. Lighten up. She's coming! And when she does, this room will be her home. Won't that be nice?"

Yoongi smiled, giving into Hobi's relentless optimism. "It will be perfect."

Eli drove you to a stylish looking apartment building on the other side of town. It was obvious the moment he took you inside the apartment that he hadn't used the time while you were gathering your things to warn his fiance that you were coming. A tall blonde came quickly toward the door wearing an expression you couldn't quite define but leaned towards angry.

"Babe, where were you? I just got home and you weren't here. What's going on?" She asked as her eyes fell on you and even you could feel yourself shrink under her sharp eyes.

Eli leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry, baby. I should have called. But I ran into my sister. You remember, I told you about Y/N." 

"Not really," she admitted with a tight smile as your brother stepped aside and she got a good look at you. "I thought she ran away," she whispered.

"Yeah, ran away, not died," he whispered back. You weren't sure if they knew you could hear them or they didn't care but you felt smaller and smaller by the second. "She lives in the city now, and she needs a place to stay," he said loud enough for you to hear, although she clearly wished he wouldn't.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Eli?" She asked with the same tight smile, and it occurred to you that you didn't know her name. Had you forgotten it, or had he simply not mentioned it to you before at the restaurant?

"We'll be right back, Y/N," Eli nodded.

Whatever room they moved to was not far enough away or sound proof enough to keep their conversation from your ears.

"What the hell? You can't bring random girls to our home, Eli!"

"She's not some random girl. She's my sister. She has a difficult situation right now, am I not supposed to help her?"

"Doesn't that seem a little convenient to you? That your long lost sister suddenly finds you when she's fallen on hard times?"

"What are you even insinuating? I'm the one that ran into her at her work."

"I just think it's fishy. And you never talk about her. I think you've mentioned her twice the whole time we've been together, so what's with the big brother act?"

"I just feel bad, okay? Our parents weren't easy on her. I just want to help her out for once."

A long pause settled between them.

"Please. Just a couple weeks, three tops, until I can find her a place to live."

"Did she ask you for money?"

"No. She didn't even ask if she could stay here. But her other situation wasn't safe."

"Jesus. Are you sure she's even your sister? Hasn't it been like ten years? She still looks like a teenager."

"She's just small. It's her, trust me. Everything will be fine."

"Fine. But three weeks and not a day more, Eli."

You turned toward the door to leave. You didn't want to be an inconvenience, much less cause strife in their relationship. He'd already lied to her about you enough, saying that you ran away instead of telling her how and why you were thrown out of your home. Every moment you spent there would only heap more lies up between them. You didn't know what he was thinking of bringing you here, but he was misguided.

"Y/N," he spoke just as you reached for the door knob. "Everything is fine. Come, I'll show you the guest room."

There was always something that made your skin itch about a 'guest room.' Maybe it was just that you never needed it spelled out for you that you held a place of impermanence no matter where you went. You didn't belong. You wouldn't be staying long. These were things you knew without needing them codified in words. 

"There are fresh sheets in this closet," she told you, making a reappearance with a somewhat more believable smile on her face. "I would have made it up for you if I had some warning."

"That's fine. I can make it myself," you assured her quietly. "I'm sorry, I forgot your name."

She sighed quietly. "I'm Kate. There are extra blankets in there as well in case you get cold."

"Thanks, Kate," you murmured before she turned to leave.

"Get some rest, Y/N. We'll talk in the morning," Eli said before he closed the bedroom door and you were alone.

The following day, Kate seemed to find reasons to be out of the house all day. You did your best to have as little contact with Eli as possible. I'm spite of his recent charity in bringing you here, you had never really been that close. The years between you and the resentment you felt were high barriers. Besides, you'd become too suspicious of kindness in your life to truly trust him. 

During the week, you returned to work, and even though he offered to drive you and pick you up, you insisted on taking the bus across town, if for no other reason than that it extended the time you were out of their home. When you were there, you cooked and cleaned. It was the only way you knew how to do penance for your ever inconvenient existence, the only payment of a perpetually uninvited guest. And when she realized how quiet and clean you were, Kate did thaw toward you, if only slightly. 

The main benefit of staying at their apartment was the opportunity to get quality sleep. It was quiet, and you were spared the frequent interruptions that occured in the shelter, as well as the constant anxiety of being around so many strangers and strong smells. Among the many practices that made the True Life Ministry different from other shelters was that they didn't separate you by secondary gender, only by male and female, so the threat of alphas was ever present. Although behavior was strictly monitored, you never felt entirely safe.

There was one thought that continued to itch in your brain as you laid on the bed and tried to sleep. It was still pretty early in the evening, but you'd had a pretty rotten day. One of the Lykos who frequently passed her days in the library had decided to make you an object of interest today, whiling away the afternoon throwing trash at you every time you came near where she sat in the computer lab while you emptied the bins or cleaned a table. Eventually, one of the librarians asked the alpha to leave, but it had already soured your mood. You cooked and ate dinner silently before turning in early, and even Kate was a little concerned by the way you kept your head hung low and didn't look at either of them even once. 

Now, the only comfort you could think of was sitting in the closet mere feet from your bed.

The blue and white striped blanket is so soft. At least start there.

You know you're not supposed to do that.

Hoseok said it was good for me and it was so nice when he did it.

You aren't Hoseok. You're barely even a fucking omega. You know it never leads to good things for you.

Please. Just a little nest. I need it. Just for a little while. Please.

You sat up in bed and stared at the closet door. There were several very soft blankets in there going unused. Kate did say you could use them.

She said if you got cold. You're not cold. You're fine.

"What's it going to hurt?" You whispered to yourself.

Do you really have to ask? Remember the first time? 

You pulled back the quilt laying on top of you and scooted off the edge of the bed. Creeping to the door, you opened it slowly.

You don't even know how to build a fucking nest. Don't even try.

It's not that hard. Start with the white one.

Eli told you to pretend. What if they find you acting like an animal?

For once you ignored the harsh whispers in your head and followed the smaller voice's instructions. You laid the soft white blanket out as a base, then bunched up two knitted blankets to make a perimeter. You didn't need a very big nest. You were so small. Finally you fluffed the striped throw blanket across the top before climbing into the nest. For once, all your voices quieted as you wiggled your body around, finding the perfect spot for you that made you feel warm and fuzzy and protected. All the world fell away as you nuzzled your face against the fluffy white blanket beneath you. You might have been falling asleep, or maybe just falling within yourself to a quiet, soft place you can only really remember going to when you were in Hoseok's nest last month. You'd never managed to get there with your former pack, where they mocked you for your pathetic attempts at a nest until you gave up altogether. 

Kate, despite her previous coldness toward you, could tell there was something wrong with you. She could tell you were still awake by the soft, albeit strange noises coming from the guest room, and decided to check on you to see if there was anything you needed. When you didn't answer her knocks, she decided to open the door anyway. It was her home after all, right? When she turned on the light, she didn't expect to see you lift your head from a pile of blankets, hair a static mess and pupils blown wide. You whimpered at the bright light.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her tone a mixture of shock and suspicion. "What's going on? Eli?" She called loudly.

You stared at her in confusion until he came to the doorway. "What?"

Kate pointed a finger at you. "What the hell is she doing?"

Eli cursed under her breath as he walked toward you on the bed. He took your face in his hands. "Wake up, Y/N. Snap out of it!" He muttered. 

"Is she…is she one of them?" She asked, pitched raised. You whimpered again.

"Damn it, Y/N," Eli groaned. "I didn't know."

"What do you mean? Are you one of them too?"

"No. No! She's adopted. You know that. My parents thought that's why she ran away, but I didn't know for sure," Eli lied.

"Fuck, Eli. You know how I feel about those...things," Kate cringed.

"Baby, please. I'm sure she's harmless." Eli approached her with open palms, but she only backed out of the room. 

"Get her the fuck out of my house. Right now!" She shouted. 

Eli looked between the two of you anxiously. He stepped closer to you once again and felt his heart clench at the desperately scared look in your wide, vulnerable eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but you have to go."

You whined and pressed yourself closer to the blankets, as if they would protect you. Eli sighed. You weren't difficult to pick up and pluck out of your nest. You'd lost whole pounds since your last heat.

"I'm sorry Yn," he muttered as he carried you down the hallway toward the door.

"Make sure she's out of the building," Kate grumbled as he went by her holding the door open.

Eli nodded and carried you into the elevator before he set you on unsteady feet. "You couldn't fucking hold it together could you?"

Your brain was scrambling to come back online, but you didn't have words yet. Fucking stupid omega brain.

"I swear to God if you ruined this for me," he muttered. You wished you could tell him what I fucking fake he was, but your tongue was glued to the top of your mouth. The elevator reached the lobby and Eli walked you outside. "Sorry, Y/N," he told you once more before he turned to go back inside. "Have a nice life."

The night air was chilly with that feeling it might rain at any second. You thanked yourself for wearing Yoongi's hoodie to bed and turned to walk in an unknown direction.

We fucking told you so. You never fucking listen.

Yoongi wasn't the only one who spent his nights on duty feeling like the next call was going to be the one he dreaded most. Rainy nights always filled Jungkook with a specific kind of dread. It was the kind of night that led to avoidable accidents, which is what he thought had happened when he and his partner stopped their patrol car behind a parked car in the middle of a narrow one way street. The short whoop of the police cruiser when they came to a stop got the attention of the driver of the car, who turned and quickly began shouting at Jungkook as soon as he opened the passenger side door.

"It wasn't my fault, officer! She pushed him in front of my car! There wasn't anything I could do!" The woman screamed hysterically.

"Calm down, ma'am," Jungkook's partner, Xavier, said cautiously before he leaned into his walkie talkie and requested back up. 

Meanwhile Jungkook walked around the passenger side of his vehicle and sniffed the air. The falling rain made it harder to smell the scents around him, but he managed to pick up a few things. The sour fear coming from the Sap woman, smoky sage, and blood. When he reached the front of the car, he could tell those last two scents came from the alpha lying unconscious in the road, blood flowing from his head to mix with the engine oil and rain water on the sleek blacktop. He knelt down when he got closer and spoke into his own radio to call for an ambulance. And then he smelled it. The apple cider vinegar that telegraphed your fear. 

No matter what Jin and Hoseok said, Yoongi wouldn't attribute the foreboding and acute anxiety he felt tonight to the possibility of fated mates. He felt nervous every night he sat in the ambulance waiting for the next call, hoping it wouldn't be your body that was injured. Tonight was rainy and dark and that always meant car accidents. Yoongi was just anticipating what anyone in his line of work would do on a night like tonight.  

"Do you think it will be her this time?" His coworker asked with casual cruelty as Yoongi drove to the scene of an accident. 

"Shut up," he muttered in reply.

"Don't be so sensitive. I thought alphas like you would be able to take a joke," the Sap teased.

"It's not a fucking joke." Yoongi barely held back a growl.

"Relax. You're not the first EMT to spend the night driving around looking for someone they love in every scene. We all go through it at some point. It's never them.*

But that was where he was wrong.

Yoongi freely admitted that he'd been a paranoid mess the last month, scanning every face at every site for you. But he had never imagined your smell, so he knew he wasn't imagining it now. It filled his senses the moment he opened the door of the ambulance. He could smell the blood, too, but he honed in on your scent only. He could focus on nothing else.

You were sitting on the curb between the bumpers of two parked cars with your head between your knees, but Yoongi didn't need to see your face to know it was you. Only you could be so small and fragile, even under the shock blanket Jungkook had the good sense to put over you. He wanted to scoop you up and get you out of the rain. The fact that Jungkook was standing protectively in front of you lessened his panic by a fraction.

"Is she hurt?" Yoongi asked, kneeling in front of you. "Y/N, are you okay?" 

You didn't respond, simply continued to rock back and forth with your hands clasped over your head. 

"She's not injured. She's just in shock. She hasn't said much," Jungkook told him.

Yoongi reached forward to touch your chin. "Look at me, princess. Let me see if you're okay."

When you lifted your eyes to his, you looked as terrified as you smelled. "Alpha? Is he dead?" You asked painfully.

"Yoongi, over here!" His partner called from the road. The alpha didn't take his eyes off you. How could he leave you like this? "Yoongi!"

"Go on, hyung. Do your job. I'll take care of her. I won't let her out of my sight. I promise."

Yoongi's eyes remained locked on yours for a moment longer. You had asked him only one thing, and if getting you reassurance was all he could do then that's what he would do. "I'll go check on him. Everything will be okay, princess. Wait here." He tried his best to sound reassuring as he stroked your wet hair and you leaned into his touch before he tore himself away to go help the alpha bleeding out on the asphalt. 

His sage scent faded as life drained from him, but the other EMT was applying pressure to his head wound, so he wasn't gone yet. Yoongi went into autopilot to help his partner stabilize the patient, but he was desperate to know what had happened and how you had been involved. Should he even be saving this man? Who was he to you? 

They managed to get the man onto the stretcher and into the ambulance while he still clung to life without Yoongi having much idea at all of what he was doing. He stayed in the back with the patient while his partner drove, otherwise Yoongi would never be able to make himself leave without you.

"Y/N, I'm taking you to the police station," Jungkook told you after the ambulance had left and another police officer had taken the driver of the car away. 

Without any other acknowledgement, you stood, letting the shock blanket fall from your shoulders as you turned your back on Jungkook and placed your hands behind your back.

Jungkook frowned, "you're not under arrest, Y/N. I'm just taking you to the station to give a statement and wait for someone to come get you."

You turned to look at him confusedly. "No one will come for me."

Jungkook smiled sadly. "Yoongi will come. Let's go."

At the station, Jungkook sat you next to his desk in the bullpen and went to go get you a warm drink. He placed a paper cup of hot tea in your hands, which you took without looking at it or him, but just stared blankly ahead.

"Y/N, can you tell me what happened before the accident?" Jungkook asked, fingers poised over his keyboard.

"Eli threw me out."

"What?"

"Was walking. Was raining but…nowhere to go." You took a sip of the too hot tea to ease the dryness of your throat. "Smelled him first. Hate that smell. So I walked faster, but he's bigger, faster. He caught me. Grabbed my arm."

"Did he hurt your arm?" Jungkook asked. You honestly didn't know. You felt numb all over, just like you had since you'd smelled the burning sage earlier. Setting down the small cup, you pulled up the sleeve of Yoongi's hoodie to reveal the bruises that were blossoming along your forearm. "Shit," Jungkook muttered. "We'll take pictures in a minute. What happened next?" 

"We argued."

"About what?"

"Wanted me to come with him. Didn't want to."

Jungkook studied your face cautiously. "Why did he want you to come with him?" 

You shrugged. "Same as always. Wanted to breed me."

"Is that Eli?" He questioned.

You shook your head. "Eli is my brother."

Jungkook nodded. "But you know that man."

You nodded dumbly. "My alpha."

Jungkook felt his stomach turn over and over. Knowing what little he did about your experience with your past alpha, your barely-there behavior made more sense.

"What happened when you argued?"

You swallowed. "I tried to get away, to get him off. He wouldn't let go, so I–I pushed him and he slipped. He fell into the street and then the car was there."

"Did you see the car before you pushed him?" Maybe Jungkook shouldn't have asked. He wasn't formally interrogating you. Something in him just wanted to know.

You shook your head. "Its lights weren't on. Dark and wet. Couldn't see behind him."

Jungkook swallowed thickly and turned his attention to his screen to finish entering the information you had given him.

"Did I kill him?" You asked blankly, making Jungkook pause to look at you.

"He was still alive when they left the scene. Even if anyone is at fault, we would first look at the driver of the car. You aren't in any trouble right now, Y/N." You nodded in understanding. "For now, it's probably best if you stay quiet."

You were sure time passed, although you didn't feel it. Jungkook went and came back, took photos of the bruises on your arm and brought you a fresh drink. The world continued to turn because it had never stopped for any of your crises, big or small, why would it now? It might have been hours or minutes. You couldn't tell. Everything around you was blocked out until you felt a cold breeze sweep through the station carrying a sharp citrus scent.

Alpha.

Without any thought, you found yourself on your feet. As if acting on their own, they shuffled past the rows of desks. There was a wall and gate separating the back part of the station from the public entry, but you pushed past them until you could see Yoongi. His black hair dripped rainwater onto his cheeks, and he pushed the wet strands back. You couldn't hear what he was asking the officer at the desk, but the words went silent when he turned toward you. Without an invitation you found yourself pressed against his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist.

It took him half a second to respond, encircling you in his own strong arms and holding you to him. "It's alright," he whispered.

You nuzzled your forehead against his chest and murmured back, "Alpha."

I hope the end of this roller coaster made up for the journey. I promise it's going to get better now. Thank you for sticking it out. Please tell me what you've liked in this chapter or any time up until now, and what you're looking forward to or hoping for going forward. Here's a Yoongi, you've earned it.

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Diasomnia Romantic Headcanons

Writing Diasomnia was a struggle. I even read up to the first chapter of Book 6 and all their Vignettes and still had some trouble. I love them all, though. Also big shoutout to @treysimp for helping me with Sebek. They explained their thoughts on him, which helped me get the writing flow going. 

A quick heads up when it comes to Lilia’s last bullet point…this is a headcanon. It’s how I perceive the character going off what he says in-game. I go into a little more detail in my post about how I see the world, but ya. Just a heads up, I think Lilia can change his form, and the one he presents in the game isn’t indeed what he looks like.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series is aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post. Beta read by Grammarly and it’s trying its best.

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia (You’re Here)

Romantic Headcanons

Malleus Draconia

Malleus is originally going to find you interesting in the fact that, unlike every human on campus, you hold no fear in your eyes when you first see him. To you, he was just another mysterious student on campus. You even gave him a nickname that, to most, might’ve been embarrassing, but to him, it just meant you didn’t know who he was. He can just talk to you freely, which is like a breath of fresh air for him…he almost doesn’t want you to find out who he really is at first, but that feeling would probably quickly leave him. If this child of man was afraid after hearing his real name, it isn’t worth his time.

Your nightly conversations outside of Ramshackle dorm are going to slowly evolve into walking around campus with Malleus under the cover of shadows. You never run into any students on these walks, and Malleus is more than happy to tell you about every single Gargoyle there is on campus during your walks. He even points out a statue or two that’s supposed to imitate the Gargoyles to create symmetry but doesn’t actually serve any purpose. You’re going to be finding out a lot about the school, but that’s fine. His voice is so soothing you could probably listen to it all day. You find it odd when he begins guiding you in a different direction on your walks, almost as if he’s trying to avoid someone.

Malleus is going to realize he has it down bad for you at the festival when you discover who he actually is, only to immediately continue calling him by that silly nickname you gave him. He’s more than happy to let you continue using it, don’t get him wrong; he finds it wonderful that your demeanor didn’t change. His feelings for you only begin to increase, especially when he forges a nightly visit, only to have you at the door of his dorm asking to see if he has time for an evening stroll. It was then that he realizes that this child of man is something else.

Malleus has an imposing aura surrounding him at all times, which wards off anything from trying to cause you any harm. You’re one of the most protected students at the school at this point. Of course, Lilia will also be watching over you from the corner of his eyes when he spots you in the hallways. Silver and Sebek will also be careful around you and stop anyone from trying to cause a ruckus. Nobody at the school knows why these three members of Diasomnia are now so protective over you since it’s not exactly common knowledge that you’re one of Malleus’s close friends.

Despite Malleus knowing he seems to like his child of man, he probably won’t be doing anything about it. Lilia had always spoken about fleeting crushes and how they develop, and this is what Malleus assumes it will be. A simple “crush” that he will soon get over and continue being friends with you. He’s mainly going to be thinking this way because he simply doesn’t know the first thing in courting a human or how they show their affection. To him, you’ve never once shown romantic interest, and he’d rather not push that on you if you weren’t interested. Lilia is the one that has to point out to Malleus that the human is very clearly interested in him and almost breaks out a power-point of all the times you’ve seemingly done something to flirt with him, only for him to think of it as a friendly human gesture.

Once he’s made aware of this fact, he’s going to begin courting you in a more fae-like manner, which can be very confusing for you. Once again, Lilia is going to have to jump in. It’s almost painful for the “old man” to watch this awkward flirting where neither party realizes what’s going on. Lilia will probably corner you and explain flirting with the fae, and once it clicks, it’s go time. The easiest way to let Malleus know you return the feelings is simple. Either flat out tell him or ask him to lean down closer so you can tell him something, then grab the lapels of his jacket and give him a kiss. It’s very clear in the message you’re sending.

Malleus is going to always have some form of physical contact going with you when you’re together. Normally it’s a single hand on you, on the small of your back, as he guides you places. Sometimes he requests your hand, or he lets you hook your arm around his as you two continue. When you’re sitting there, one hand might be on your thigh, mindlessly rubbing circles into it. He enjoys holding these small moments of contact with you, and feeling your warmth radiating gives him a sense of calm.

Since Malleus is normally never seen outside of classes, people don’t know you two are going out. Even if you mentioned dating Malleus, students would laugh in your face and call you a liar. Not like it really matters to you whether they believe you, but if they were going to laugh, then why ask if you were seeing someone? Everyone sings a whole new tune one day when you ask Malleus to walk you to class since you wanna see him more in school. He always holds his arm out like a gentleman for you to grab onto. Everyone in the hall is going to be staring in shock until Sebek begins shouting and biting their heads off while Silver tries to reel him in. Despite all that, it still makes for a pretty cute scene in your mind.

He is very much in love with giving you kisses all the time. Sometimes just quick pecks when he sees fit or a kiss on the hand or forehead. His favorite is bending down and tilting your chin to meet his own. Leaning over for a kiss and barely brushing your lips before standing back to his full height. Nobody is taller than Malleus (and if you are, praise be). So there’s a good chance if he teases you with a kiss and then stands up, you’d have to climb that man like a tree to get a proper smooch for him. If you actually attempt that, he’ll be laughing at you before helping support your weight as he picks you up and smothers you in kisses.

He’s very much into physical touch, so cuddling is going to be something to get used to. He might bring one of his special pillows and keep it over at Ramshackle for his horns. Either way, he’ll be pulling you against him, either spooning you, letting you spoon him, or his personal favorite, laying on his back with you pulled on top of him, your head resting on his chest. His chin will be right on your head while he holds you and talks about his day, or he partakes in his favorite activity, which is listening to whatever crazy shenanigans you’ve been up to. He’ll do this until you’re asleep on him and just spend the night. He knows Lilia will deal with his overprotective bodyguards.

Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia was intrigued by you at first. This little human is now taking residency in the old abandoned building with no magic and a monster as their only friend. Not to mention how easy it was for him to scare you the first few times with your lack of knowledge of magic. Teleportation was a new concept to you, and Lilia loved to use it to spook you. He had been serious the first time he met when he offered you a spot at the table to talk to them. He just never expected that this jumpy human would soon be the object of his affection, but when Lilia realized the feeling inside his chest, he knew he couldn’t deny it.

At first, nothing is going to change with him and how he acts around you. The only real difference is coming over to you more and more often. Popping up behind you and teasing about how easy it was to startle you. Even playing mind games and sometimes tricking you. He founds your reactions to always be refreshing, especially your problem-solving skills. While most students would default to using magic to solve their problems, you had to actually use your head and figure them out. So riddles and mind games were a personal favorite of Lilia’s to try out with you.

Soon Lilia will be inviting you to the dorms more and more often. Normally under the guise of how it’ll be fun, and maybe you could try out some of his newest creations. Not to mention Malleus has taken a liking to you, so of course, it makes sense to visit the dorm where it’s safe. Just be expecting that whatever Lilia offers you that day, whether it be a board game or him cooking…that’s going to happen. So on days he offers to prepare you a home-cooked meal that he slaved over…maybe avoid visiting. Or do and try your luck and not die. Maybe you could convince him to let you cook with him and try to salvage whatever atrocity he’s trying to whip up.

You’re not going to realize it until it’s too late, but Lilia has been slowly making you swoon this entire time. Even those soft and lingering touches will be melded inside your mind for quite a while. Once Lilia notices that you’re finally falling, he’s going to keep teasing you more and more. He’s going to make it so obvious that he’s clearly in love with you that even if you’re the densest person on the planet, you’re going to know. He won’t confess, though. No, he’s going to keep this up until you reach a breaking point and confess yourself. Just expect him to call you cute and squish your cheeks before kissing you in a response to your heartfelt confession.

Be prepared for even more teasing once you’re in a relationship with him. His biggest source of entertainment is to make you as flustered as possible. He finds you too cute to not tease you all the time. He’s also going to make fun of how you’re clearly into older men and will verbally ponder if he needs to be worried about you being around Trein since you “Clearly have a thing for Dilfs.” It’s okay to smack him for that, or you can just go along with the teasing and inform him that you’ve only had “fleeting thoughts” about doing that. Those responses are why Lilia fell for you in the first place, after all.

Depending on his mood for the day, he might offer you up his arm in the hallway when walking with you to classes. On other days, he might be the one clinging to your arm. It really does depend on a day-to-day basis. If you’re shorter than him, he might make it difficult to walk by being right behind you with his chin on top of your head. Your feet will practically be on top of his as he guides the way and laughs at your struggle. If you’re taller, then he’s going to be floating to do the same exact thing, but he might float just a bit higher to rest his arms on top of your head as well. Might even pinch your cheeks if you’re frowning at his antics to get you to laugh along with the ridiculous scene.

Lilia is going to be playing a game with you where he tells you some outlandish story from the way in the past and then asks if he was telling the truth or not. He’ll be on his toes as he awaits a response, wondering if you’ll guess right. The trick is that he’s always telling the truth. All those insane stories, you sit there thinking, “No way this happened in history.” Did indeed happen. He might even have a few photographs to show you. His stories never cease to entertain you, but you wish he wouldn’t tell you random facts about a period of time when you’re also learning the same thing in history. Not because they’re not fun stories…but when you take the test and realize you have to struggle between written history and Lilia’s memories…well, it can get muddles in your head.

Upside-down kisses. The bat dad is going to sometimes pop up upside down in front of you only to give you a smooch before leaving. You’re always going to be in a daze when this happens, and if it’s in front of your friends, they’re going to be so confused as to what they witnessed. Lilia is very much into PDA, but he does remember to keep it appropriate. He won’t be stealing breathless kisses that leave your legs feeling like jelly in public. Small kisses, though, or wrapping an arm around you are on the table.

He’s big into cuddling with you. At Diasomnia, it’s either you’re in his lap, or he’s in your lap. The same goes for Ramshackle, and his favorite moments are getting to go to bed with you while you’re in each other's arms. Lilia tends to cling to things in his sleep, so even if you are asleep on opposite ends of the bed, in the morning, you two will appear more like a pretzel. Sometimes you’ll even go to bed alone, and in the middle of the night, Lilia teleports into your room and crawls under the covers with you. Waking up to his face when you know for a fact he wasn’t there when you went to bed can be shocking, but not unwelcome at how peaceful he looks asleep (even if he’s a big faker because we know he woke up the moment you shifted).

It’s known that Lilia likes to use his boyishly good looks to get things, and most of the time, he’s just playing around. When he mentions he can change up how he looks at will, it makes you wonder a few things. Mainly if this cute boyish look he’s got going on is what he really looks like. Voice it, and he’ll laugh before dragging you to his room and making you close your eyes. When they open, you’re going to notice a few things. Number one, his hair is surprisingly long. Number two, his features are a lot sharper, and instead of boyishly good looks, he now has a more regal appearance. The most notable difference? Lilia…are you the same height as Malleus…or are you taller?

Sebek Zigvolt

He’s not going to realize he likes you at all. He just assumes that his heart races when he’s around you is an adrenaline response since normally when he’s with you, something always happens. He just assumes his body has adapted to it. Is his face going red when you compliment him? Clearly, you have some sort of cold, and you’ve managed to give it to him in .5 seconds, and now he’s ill. It’s not a blush, he’s burning up from a deadly fever that you give him whenever you’re around that also happens to go away when you disappear. Perhaps it’s a curse of some kind. Clearly, it’s not his own infatuation with you.

Oddly enough, it’s not Lilia who has to interfere this time around; it’s Silver. It’s painful for everyone close to Sebek to watch the utter denial he is in at having a crush on you. So Silver is the one who explains to Sebek that you don’t have a fever curse cast on you, and it’s not adrenaline that he keeps blaming it on. He simply has a crush on the Ramshackle prefect.

Even more denial over the fact that he’s crushing on a magicless human. How could he fall for someone like you? I mean, sure, you’re amazing, always in his corner, don’t tell him to shut up (might ask him to lower the volume but never in a rude way), and is fine when he trails after them like a lost puppy. He’s realizing maybe this is how his mother felt when she met his father. He’s also in a conflict about how being in a romantic relationship would drag him from his duties of being Malleus’s bodyguard, but Lilia is quick to explain even Knights are permitted to have a love life.

When he decides to finally try to “make you swoon,” as Lilia so kindly refers to it as he’s going to be awkward. It’s almost like a mission he’s just accepted where he has to win you over. He’ll try to hold doors for you but use a bit too much force and make the door slam against the wall as he awkwardly shuffles out of the way to let you pass. He might even try compliments, but they’re going to be the weirdest thing. “Ah, the cowlick on the back of your head is extra springy today!” He is trying.

Sebek’s confession will most likely be accidental. You two are just hanging out, and you ask him why he scared off that group of Savanaclaw students that, in hindsight, were trying to pick a fight with you, but you didn’t notice the hostility due to being used to it at the school. He’ll comment about how “If a knight can't even protect the love of his life, how can he protect his own master?” before realizing what he said. Want to make the poor boy malfunction? Grab his tie and drag him down for a quick kiss and tell him you love him, too, as your lips are still brushing against his own. His brain might stop working for a while. You might need to call Lilia because you broke him.

What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in spirit. He is always honest with you, even if you don’t want him to be. The good news is, most of the time, it’s very good things he’s commenting on. He’ll comment if you look breathtaking one day or how your eyes have a spark that he adores. He’ll also comment that the drool on your cheek when you wake up compliments your drowsy expression, though, so just be prepared for those awkward compliments. The good news is he is loyal to you, so you never have to worry about him hiding something.

PDA is considered inappropriate in his eyes, but he sees no harm in escorting you to your class after he finishes making sure Malleus is safely on his own. Might even have you tag along on his duties protecting Malleus, which you never mind since Malleus is also a good friend of yours, so it’s like a mini group hangout. Once Sebek’s master is gone, though, he’ll shyly offer his arm for you to hold onto and takes you to your class. If you give him a quick peck on the cheek, he won’t bite your head off, but expect to have his staring with wide eyes as you enter the classroom, a hand on the cheek you just kissed, and cherry red in the face.

Overnight cuddles are almost exclusively set in Diasomnia. Sebek needs to be close to Malleus if he needs protection, and he feels like he can’t do that if he’s always staying the night over at Ramshackle dorm. This is fine, though; his bed is more comfortable than your dorm's. The only issue is sometimes when you’re talking late at night, his volume might rise to a shout and disturb other residents. Lilia might gently urge him to visit you at Ramshackle and assure Sebek that he will personally guard Malleus that night, so there’s nothing to fear. Since it’s only Grim in Ramshackle, it’s fine to be a bit noisier as you talk about your day, so that’s a bonus.

He’s now going to be the guard dog of two people, and students are going to realize this very quickly. If Sebek isn’t with Malleus, then he’s going to be right next to you. If someone looks at you wrong or treats you with disrespect, they get an angry crocodile to deal with. Thankfully, he’s easy to reel in when worked up if you just place a hand on his arm and tell him it’s fine and to go somewhere else. He’ll always respect your decision and leave the student with a warning that if he tried that again, he wouldn’t let it go so easily.

Sebek is going to be stiff and awkward with the display of affection. Compliments come easy to him. He just speaks from the heart. Wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling his face into your neck? That’s something he isn’t used to doing and will take some warming up. Be the one to initiate it the first few times in private, and he’ll be better. Might even be the main instigator when it comes to kisses when it’s just you two. They’re always gentle as well; he enjoys cupping your face in one of his hands and drawing you in. You can always feel his smile against your lips as he pulls away from you.

Silver

Silver is going to slowly realize that he’s falling for you. The first sign that he might like you more than a friend is when he realizes he’s a little more awake around you. He doesn’t find himself growing as tired and getting into one of his sleepy spells. He’s just going to be a little more alert hanging out with you, almost like he doesn’t want to miss a single moment of your time together by falling asleep. His body's unconscious way of informing him that he likes you.

This isn’t to say he’s not going to be napping around you. Whatever condition he has won’t magically disappear once he falls in love; it just isn’t happening as often if you’re in the room. When it does happen, he feels comfortable enough to lean against you and doze off. If you offer your lap for him to sleep in while you’re reading or studying, he’ll be grateful and take you up. He’ll be out like a light but definitely dreaming about you. Run your hands through his hair, and he might even find himself nuzzling into your touch while still asleep, something that is honestly adorable.

Lilia is the first person in Diasomnia who realizes that Silver is in love with you and fully supports his son’s decision. Lilia has seen how you treat Silver, and he couldn’t think of a better partner for his son. This doesn’t mean Lilia won’t be teasing Silver about his crush. He’s even going to be inviting you over to the dorm for some tea and snacks after class as he tries to wingman for his son. Not that Silver needed it, but he doesn’t appreciate having more time with you. However, Silver is going to warn you not to try the snacks if Lilia made them. He doesn’t need you dying on him.

Cuddling is a step that will be happing before you enter a relationship with him. Yes, he’ll be asleep on your lap, but sometimes it’s more than that. If you two are studying in your room, sitting on your bed, and he grows tired, he might wrap his arms around your waist and drag you down for a nap. It’s a much-needed one, in his opinion, with how much you’ve been pouring over your books for the last few hours. Besides, he’s great at cuddling and will drag you against his chest and prop his chin on top of your own as he falls asleep. His soft hair might tickle, but honestly, he has a faint scent of lavender on his skin that lulls you into a deep sleep as well.

His confession is going to initially be an accident. You’re going to be at the dorm, and he’ll be leaning on your shoulder after falling asleep. He’ll murmur your name, and you think for a moment he’s woken up but looking at his face, he’s still passed out. He’ll murmur a small “I love you” in his sleep that is sure to set anyone’s heart pounding. Later on, when he’s awake, if you ask him about it, you’ll notice his cheeks becoming a bit pink as he explains he meant to tell you properly sometime in the next week, but this works as well. It’s a cute and genuine way of confessing.

He’s still a well-trained bodyguard, so expect him to have a protective side for you. When he’s not guarding Malleus, he’ll be more than happy to hang out by your side. He’ll be like your own personal escort to and from classes and even offer to walk you home at the end of the day. You want to go shopping, but it’s getting dark outside? Don’t even think about it unless you’re calling up Silver to see if he’ll be able to go with you. He likes protecting you, which gives him a little pride whenever you ask him to go with you places. He knows you’re probably perfectly safe on campus, but he still enjoys doing it. Maybe put his training to work when you get in a small scrap with students in another dorm.

Silver is a little indifferent when it comes to PDA. He doesn’t like or dislike it; it’s just part of the relationship. Or so he says, but he will melt when you hold his hand walking through the school. Small but lingering kisses are also something he adores, and the small pink tinging his cheeks is enough to let you know he’s not totally indifferent to those things. He might even initiate them himself, but he definitely prefers most things behind closed doors. He doesn’t like it when others can see those flustered expressions you make when he wraps his arms around you and drags you close, cupping your head and pulling you in for a series of small kisses. Those are for his eyes only, and he’s planning on keeping it that way.

Come spend time with him while he’s training. He might not be a showoff, but he won’t be opposed to you seeing his skills with a sword. It’s something to swoon over, and Lilia always is telling him that people like others who have special talents. Not to mention he’s a different person in training; you can’t keep your eyes off him. The way his body moves in instinct alone is impressive. He’ll also see if you want to join him for his club activities and go on rides with him. He’s going to find the most sturdy horse, so it’ll have no issue holding the two of you.

He’ll often find himself going to bed with you. It’s a calm and peaceful time; he really likes it when he can stay awake longer than you and just see how peaceful your face is. He’s been told by others that he has a certain beauty to him when he’s asleep, and he always thought it was odd. Seeing you like this changed his mind. He can see the appeal of how relaxed your body and face are. He also loves early mornings, especially if you wake him up with small kisses along his cheeks and neck, maybe a few on his lips. You being the first thing he sees in the morning while the sunlight is beaming down on you? Best wake up.

You’ll be dragged to his table for lunch at least once or twice a week. He understands you have friends and won’t pull you away from them, but he does enjoy you having lunch with him and his other dorm members. The Diasomnia dorm is his family, both literally and figuratively. He wants you to be close to the people he loves most. He always gets the same thing for lunch since it’s his favorite, but he doesn’t mind if you offer him a bite of whatever you’re having. He still wants his favorite meal, but a bite or two of something different helps expand his palette.

[sweetestdesire]

reader being seen as innocent by everyone in obx but when her and rafe get together he quickly finds out she’s actually a lil freak 🤭

GOOD GIRL GONE BAD

WARNINGS: hair pulling, extreme domination, mentions of masturbation, innocence kink, mentions of alcohol consumption, etc. 18+ readers only

PAIRING(S): Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader

SUMMARY: in which Kook!Reader’s not as sweet and innocent as everyone thinks she is.

Y/N stared at Rafe from her perch on the lifeguard chair, admiring him in his swim trunks. She waved down at him, hoping he would come up to see her as he occasionally did. She wasn’t disappointed, and moments later he was sitting beside her on the wooden chair, which was completely against the rules.

"You're not supposed to be up here, Rafe.” Y/N giggled. “How many times do I have to tell you that? This is just for lifeguards.” She tried to sound annoyed, but knew she failed and didn't really care. She hated to admit it, but she loved it when Rafe sat with her. His mere presence thrilled her to the core.

"And do you always follow the rules, princess?" Rafe asked teasing her, using the nickname he knew she hated.

"Of course.” Y/N looked at him innocently. "We all know that I'm a good girl. I never do anything wrong, and if I get in trouble for you being up here, I'm gonna blame it on you.” She giggled as she said it, mostly because she knew she had just completely pinpointed the image of herself. Because everyone did see her as an angel, and nobody had any reason to believe otherwise.

"Alright. Well, I'll get down then. I certainly don't want you to get your perfect little self in trouble because of me.” Rafe flashed her that smile, the perfect mix of lustful devilishness and little boy mischief that made her melt.

When she saw that smile of his, Y/N wanted to yell, “No, stay up here with me.” Instead, however, she nodded and watched him climb down from her chair.

As he stood below her chair, he yelled up to her, "You owe me a quick swim when your shift’s over.” And with that, he walked back into the ocean, swimming away from her and towards a group of Kooks that regularly hung out with him.

An hour later, Y/N, waiting for her shift to end, continued to survey the beach. There were people everywhere, Pogues and Kooks in groups like miniature versions of the Cut and Figure Eight. She checked her watch, nearly 5:00PM. She began to think of her evening, trying desperately to think of what she would do that night after her shift. Her mind was a blank, and it depressed her a bit to think that she had no plans.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted as Hannah, the girl who worked the 5:00PM-10:00PM shift, climbed up on the lifeguard chair beside her.

"Hey, Y/N. Anything happen today?" Hannah asked, the standard question as shifts were changed.

"Nope, not really. Just another day." Hannah nodded and settled onto her perch as Y/N tossed her sunscreen and sunglasses into her bag and climbed off the chair. "See you tomorrow.”

Just as her feet touched the sand, Y/N was splashed with a small wave of cold water. Not amused, she turned to see who had splashed her, only to look into the face of Rafe, flashing her that smile again.

"Where do you think you're going, princess?" He inquired seriously. "I believe you promised me a swim." He looked at her, fully prepared to give her a hard time if she tried to bail on him. Knowing this, Y/N relented.

"Fine, I'll swim with you for a few. But if you call me princess again, I’ll-"

Rafe cut her off, splashing her again. "Yeah? You'll what?" He laughed as she shivered with the unexpected cold water, and tried to suppress a grin as he saw her nipples stiffen through her suit. "What’re you gonna do, princess?"

Y/N offered him no response, and instead did her best cannon ball as close to him as possible, nearly landing on his head. When she surfaced laughing hysterically, he was there, immediately dunking her back under. That time, she surfaced sputtering and nearly choking on the salty water.

"Bastard.” She muttered under her breath, laughing even as she choked.

"That's not very nice language for such a sweet girl like yourself.” Rafe teased her. "I'm sure you don't talk like that around your father.” He laughed.

She cut his laughter off, offering, "Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? I don't have plans, and we could just chill at my place and watch a movie or something?”

Y/N was surprised by her offer, and suddenly feared he would reject it. However, Rafe smiled, seeming genuinely pleased, and got out of the water and immediately going for his towel.

"Sounds good.” Rafe said, tossing her towel to her as he continued to dry himself off.

Y/N wrapped herself up in her towel, smiling to herself, suddenly excited that Rafe was coming over. She would never admit to anyone that she'd had a crush on him since she met him at that boneyard party during the summer. That was four years ago, and she had grown up since then, something he was well aware of. They continued to hang out, and there were many times she found herself wishing that something would transpire between them.

The two were drying off, spacing out into their own thoughts, when Hannah yelled down, "Y/N, you've been here since 7 o’clock this morning. Ten hours at the beach is enough. Go home already.”

Her voice brought the two back to reality. Y/N waved at her fellow lifeguard, grabbed her bag, and walked towards her car, Rafe following closely behind.

"Hey, why don’t we take my car back to your place? You haven't even gotten to ride in it yet.” Rafe proposed, looking like an eager child as he walked towards his brand new Range Rover.

Y/N laughed as his eyes sparkled with admiration for the vehicle. As she sat in the passenger's seat, however, she couldn't help but sigh contentedly. It is rather comfortable, she thought to herself sheepishly.

A moment later, Rafe was pealing out of the public beach parking lot and racing along the road and towards Figure Eight. During the ride, Y/N suddenly was struck with worry, wondering if she had tidied everything up in the house. She wasn't concerned so much with the possibility of a mess, rather what she may have left merely lying around.

Y/N did a mental check list of the important items: underwear, bras, the retainer from high school that she still tried to wear occasionally, her mechanical toys. She shrugged off the nervousness, convincing herself everything had been tucked away safely and discreetly. She relaxed again, enjoying the open feeling of the wind and feeling as if she could touch the sky as Rafe raced along the road.

Finally, they passed into the golden-gated community of the enormous neighborhood, where manicured lawns and large mansions were spoken for. Rafe pulled the car into Y/N’s driveway, and the two walked up to the front door with Y/N in the lead.

Rafe was unable to avoid occasionally checking out her cute ass as the two walked together. She unlocked the door, and the two walked inside. Shedding her shoes by the horsehair welcome mat, Y/N shuffled in and skimmed her eyes over the familiar shimmering granite tile and the bright white wallpaper, a crystal chandelier dangling dangerously nearly a story from high above.

"I'm just gonna change out of my suit really quick. I’ll be right back, okay?” With that, Y/N raced up the stairs to her bedroom and shut the door behind her.

Once alone in her room, Y/N immediately stripped off her suit and reached for something comfortable: her favorite black running shorts and a white tank top. As she was about to step into the shorts, she caught off a glimpse of her own naked body in the mirror and turned to look at herself straight on.

While Y/N was not a conceited person, she couldn't help but smile at her reflection. The time she spent so religiously in the water and the gym had paid off. Suddenly realizing that Rafe was still waiting for her, she quickly grabbed the shorts and put them on, not bothering with underwear. She pulled on the tank, aware that it clung tightly to her body, but also knowing she looked cute.

After throwing her hair up into a ponytail, Y/N checked the mirror one more time and headed back downstairs to the living room to Rafe. He was sprawled on the leather couch, wearing a pair of shorts and a shirt, having obviously changed while she was in her room.

Smiling, Y/N teased, "Well, I see you've certainly made yourself at home.”

"I did. Even checked out the contents of your bathroom after I changed. Lots of interesting little gadgets in there.” Rafe let his voice trail off and watched her face carefully. She could feel her face flaming as she tried to decide if he was serious or kidding.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Y/N mumbled, not able to look him in the face. When he said nothing, she implored, "Did you really look at the stuff in my bathroom?" Her voice squeaked with embarrassment and indignation, praying he had only been joking.

"Maybe. Why, was there something in there I shouldn't have seen?" Rafe grinned, dying for her reaction, a little disappointed when she didn't reply.

Her silence answered his question though, and he laughed a little. "Relax, Y/N.” He said sweetly. "I'm too much of a gentleman to search a girl's drawer."

“You’re most definitely not a gentleman, Rafe Cameron." She teased, punching him playfully in the arm.

"I am too a gentleman.” Rafe replied with all seriousness, looking her up and down. "I always put a lady's pleasure before my own, you know?”

Rafe was teasing and Y/N knew it, but she also picked up on the sexual implications of his comments. She immediately felt her body respond, just a slight tingling between her legs, but she knew she needed to get back on safer ground.

"Are you hungry?" Y/N asked, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen. "I was thinking we could order Chinese for delivery.” She waited for his response, and when he nodded his approval, she darted to the expansive kitchen to find the menu.

As soon as she left the living room, Rafe shifted on the couch, trying to find a more comfortable position, and one that would hide his growing erection. He knew she hadn't noticed yet, but he also knew that it wasn't going to be easy to hide it all night. Dammit, why had he agreed to hang with her tonight? There was just something about her.

Rafe had looked in a few drawers in her bathroom; he'd been unable to resist. He had always suspected that Y/N wasn't quite as innocent as she pretended to be, that somewhere deep inside her was a wild girl just waiting to be unleashed. And when he had opened the drawer on a stand next to her bathtub, his suspicions had been confirmed. Right there was a pink vibrator. He chuckled to himself, pleased to know that he had been right.

Y/N reentered the living room, dashing his thoughts. "I ordered a couple things; we just have to wait for the delivery guy. He said it’ll be here in about twenty minutes."

Rafe nodded, and got off the couch to walk towards her. He knew his cock was probably making a bulge in his pants and part of him hoped she noticed.

"Mind if I have something to drink?" He asked her casually as he walked towards the kitchen. She followed immediately and opened the fridge for him.

"Well, well, well.” Rafe said in surprise. “What’s with all this alcohol?" He grinned down at her, loving the way she blushed and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, well, it’s..." Y/N’s voice faltered for a second. "It’s my father’s." She stared at the floor for a moment, and then looked up, seeming satisfied and smiled broadly. "So, what do want to drink?"

"Well, I'm gonna have a beer, and you?" He grinned devilishly again. "What can I make you, chocolate milk? Apple juice?"

Y/N smacked him, hard. "I'll take a rum and coke, smartass.”

The two stood in the kitchen and talked, each downing a couple drinks. Soon, the food arrived and they ate a bit, each having a little more to drink. After about three rum and cokes, Y/N could feel herself relaxing and getting the start of a buzz.

When the leftovers were piled back in the fridge and Rafe had mixed her a fourth drink, they migrated back to the living room. When he sat on the couch, Y/N sat right next to him, closer than she planned, but not minding at all. They watched TV, occasionally talking until suddenly their drinks were gone.

"Want some more?" Y/N asked, not waiting for a response and immediately going to retrieve it. When she returned, she set her drink on the coffee table and held the beer up, just out of Rafe’s reach.

Rafe smirked, amused and curious about where the situation was going. "Give me the beer, little girl.” He teased, laughing.

"In case you haven't noticed, I’m not a little girl anymore." As she spoke, she perched herself in his lap, straddling his legs and surprising him. "In case you haven't noticed," she continued, "I've grown up quite a bit." She shifted a little, inadvertently grinding against his stiffening cock in the process.

"Believe me, Y/N.” Rafe groaned. “I've noticed."

His eyes traveled from her face and down her body, pausing to gaze at her nipples that were poking fiercely through the thin fabric of the tiny tank top.

"I've noticed a lot about you lately.” He continued, suddenly determined to see where this would go. "You're not as innocent as everyone seems to think, are you?" His voice low and husky now, his hands resting on her bare thighs.

Y/N giggled a little. "Of course I'm sweet and innocent, Rafe. You know what a good girl I am." As she said it, she could feel his hands sliding slowly up the smooth flesh of her thighs, high enough so that his fingers were brushing the legs of her short running shorts.

"See, I don't think you're quite that innocent. I think that's just a front you've been putting on for me, and for everyone else on this island. I think," Rafe paused for a moment, "that you're just dying for someone to give you exactly what you want. Am I wrong?"

As he spoke, Rafe could feel his cock stiffening, straining against the material of his boxer briefs and his shorts.

When she didn't respond, Rafe prodded, "Y/N? Am I wrong?"

Y/N looked at him then, staring into his eyes and what he saw there was pure lust. Seeing that, he knew he could continue, and he let his hands continue to stroke her upper thighs, moving higher now until his hands disappeared beneath her shorts. Rafe let one long finger slide towards the middle and was surprised when his fingertip touched silky smooth flesh, no barrier of panties to be found.

Eyebrows raised, Rafe teased her again. "No panties? You really aren't the innocent girl we all thought you were, are you?"

Her eyes sparkled and she moaned softly, already trying to press against his finger. Determined to tease her, however, Rafe pulled his finger away from her mound and removed his hands from her shorts. She immediately stuck out her lower lip in a little girl pout, and he burst out laughing.

"Those little girl antics aren't gonna work anymore, Y/N.” He said. "You're going to have to tell me what you want." She looked at him, surprised. "I'll give you anything you want, but you have to ask for it."

When she didn't say anything he continued, "There's nothing sexier than a girl who knows what she wants. And something tells me that you know exactly what you want. So, you just name it, baby.”

Y/N smiled and removed herself from Rafe’s lap, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to her bedroom. She fell onto her bed, taking him with her, and immediately kissed him.

Shifting, she was soon on her back with him above her, pushing her hips up into his. He smiled against her lips, knowing that she was trying to avoid having to ask, but also suspecting that pushing her would only make it more enjoyable for both of them.

Rafe dragged his lips away from hers and propped himself up on his elbow beside her. He left his free hand on her hip, his fingers idly playing with the waistband of her shorts.

"What do you want, Y/N?" He asked again softly, watching her face.

She looked away for a moment, and when she looked back at Rafe, her eyes were begging. "I just want you to touch me.” Her voice trailed off as she looked at him with those big, pleading eyes.

While it was a start, Rafe was convinced now that the innocence was an act and he wanted her to prove him right. "I am touching you, right here.” He said, as he tapped his finger against her hip.

He looked at her pointedly, waiting for her response. She didn't say anything, however, and instead just grabbed his wrist and in one fast motion brought his hand to her breast.

"Right here, you dumbass.” Y/N muttered, her hand still on his wrist as if holding his hand in place.

"Oh, right here.” Rafe feigned surprise and an innocence of his own, but immediately gave a gentle squeeze and let his fingers find her nipple. It wasn't difficult to do; the hard little bud had been poking through her shirt since she changed.

Rafe rolled her nipple gently between his thumb and forefinger, and she moaned softly when he gave it a light pinch. He pinched again, causing another moan and her to push her hips up as if she were already fucking an invisible partner. The sight of it turned him on, and when he leaned down to kiss her neck, he could feel his cock growing and becoming rock hard.

Her head fell aside to allow him easier access to her neck as he kissed her, tracing his tongue up to her earlobe which he nibbled on gently. Rafe continued pinching and tugging on her nipples, each one of her groans causing his cock to twitch helplessly.

"You like that, baby?" Rafe groaned against her neck and pinching her nipple harder, causing her to let out a long low moan. He chuckled to himself as he did the same with the other one, loving her sounds of pleasure.

"What else would you like? What are you dying for?" He prodded, himself dying to know what turned her on the most.

Y/N looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright, and slowly sat up. "I'll show you what I want right now.” She said, her voice low and husky with arousal.

She smiled slowly, slipping off the bed. For a brief moment, Y/N pulled Rafe to his feet, her eyes locked on his as if she had control of the situation. Without hesitating, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his shorts and brought them down, leaving him in his boxer briefs which did nothing to hide his erection.

Gently, she pushed him back down on the bed, so he was sitting on its edge, and slowly knelt on the floor in front of him as he tugged his shirt off and tossed it on the floor. Positioning herself between his knees, Y/N smiled at him again, letting her hands work their way up his legs, letting her gaze fall on his twitching cock as her hands traveled closer.

Slowly, one hand traveled over the thin cotton of the leg, moving upwards until finally she let her fingers brush over his cock. She watched Rafe’s face as her fingers tentatively explored his hardness. When she wrapped a small fist around it for the first time, he groaned, pushing against her hand eagerly.

Y/N leaned in slowly, brushing her cheek along his inner thigh, her hand still between his legs. She grabbed the waistband of his shorts and he lifted obediently, and within moments they were gone. She leaned back on her heels for a moment, gazing up at him. She'd fantasized for so long and had wanted him for years.

Rafe’s hand on her face brought her back to reality. "What're you thinking, sweetheart?" Rafe asked her softly, looking down at her and watching her stare at him.

Y/N faltered for a moment, then laughed a little. “I was thinking about how long I've wanted this.” She admitted, blushing and looking a little sheepish.

Rafe grinned down at her and was about to tell her she could have anything she wanted, but the words never escaped his lips because she stopped pacing herself, leaning forward and taking half of his cock into her mouth in one quick motion. The shock of it, combined with the amazing feeling of her warm mouth and silky smooth tongue almost made Rafe lose it right there.

Forcing himself to regain composure, Rafe leaned back slightly, enjoying the feeling as she worked on him. He’d wondered what this would be like for quite some time now, and it thrilled him that the reality was even better than his fantasies. He had always thought she would be good, but he hadn't expected her to be this good.

Rafe looked down at her and watched her for a moment, holding her head and guiding her occasionally.

"You're an amazing little cocksucker, Y/N." Rafe groaned, and immediately felt her react to his words by taking him deeper, slowly sliding him all the way into her throat.

With her lips at the base, Y/N kept tightening her throat and making him almost lose it before relaxing again. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. He felt himself getting even closer when he looked back into hers. He kept thinking of what a sweet and innocent girl she pretended to be, when in fact she was sucking him off better than any girl ever had before.

"I'm so close.” Rafe groaned, wanting her to know in case she wanted to stop.

Y/N surprised him again, however, when instead of stopping, she only worked harder, sucking and sneaking her tongue out to tease his balls with the tip. Suddenly, he was cumming harder than he had in a long time and she swallowed all of it, smiling up at him afterwards. He chuckled and pulled her up to the bed with him.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N." Rafe said softly. "You’re pretty fucking good at that.”

Y/N grinned and blushed, shrugging her shoulders. He loved the way the color rose in her cheeks as if she were suddenly aware that she had just proven him right, that she wasn't quite so innocent at all, but was still going to cling to the facade.

Pulling her a little closer, Rafe turned her head towards him and leaned down, kissing her. She kissed him back, opening her lips and sneaking her tongue out to meet his. Slowly, he pulled away and moved his kisses to her neck, and as he did he brought his hand up to her breasts again. He teased her nipples again with his fingers, loving to watch her squirm beneath his touch.

Y/N caught his mouth again with hers, and they parted as he tugged her tank top over her head with one hand, still stroking her pussy with the other. He gazed down at those tits that he'd been watching all summer in her bathing suit. He'd been making them hard all summer through her suit and he knew it, and loved the way they just seemed to get stiffer, now exposed to his hungry gaze.

Rafe couldn't resist; he tore his mouth from hers and eagerly leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth, immediately sucking on it, experimenting to discover just what she liked. When he grazed his teeth on it, Y/N moaned loudly and pushed eagerly against his hand, the heat from her pussy penetrating through the thin material of her shorts.

He teased her by pushing his hand back against her harder, which she loved, and then taking it away so he was barely touching her at all, making her whimper and squirm, trying to get it back. Moving his lips to her other nipple, Rafe slid his hand inside her shorts now, immediately finding the bare flesh that he had been dying for since he discovered it earlier.

Rafe found her dripping and smiled, knowing that he was definitely having an effect on her. As he nibbled her nipple, he found her clit and circled it slowly with one finger, loving the way she sighed and let her eyes shut. He continued to tease her, making tighter circles on her clit and feeling her tense up, then backing off again.

Gently, Rafe eased her backwards on her bed, laying her down flat. He reached for her shorts and she immediately lifted her ass up to allow them to come off, making him smile down at her.

"Not such a good girl, now are you, princess?" Rafe asked, and she smiled a little in return.

"Fuck being good.” She replied as he finished removing her shorts.

"I'd rather fuck you instead.” Rafe said softly, his voice low and gravely with desire.

"I know.” She replied, looking a little smug but incredibly hot as she laid on her bed naked, yearning for him.

Rafe moved up over her, kissing her lips again and letting her feel his weight above her. His cock had started stiffening again already, and she could feel it brush against her. Instinctively, she began pushing her hips up against it, wanting it. He grinned down at her.

"Not just yet, Y/N. Don’t be so greedy.” Rafe said softly, kissing down her neck and over her collar bone.

His lips found her nipples again and he began to nibble and suck, being rough and gentle as he was before since he quickly realized that's what she loved. He felt her shift slightly and as he moved to the other nipple he was surprised to see that she had snuck her own hand to her pussy, and was gently teasing her clit with a finger.

Rafe smiled, a little surprised and completely turned on to see her touching herself, and sucked even harder for a moment on her breast. He moved downwards until he was kissing her belly button and still moving lower. He touched her hand with his own.

“Mind if I help you with that?" Rafe whispered, and she immediately took her hand away and pushed her pussy towards him.

For a moment, he paused, gazing down at her and admiring her. Her pussy lips were puffy from arousal and her clit was hard and begging for attention. Rafe leaned down and kissed her right above her clit, letting his lower lip just brush against the hood and listening to her gasp. She wriggled towards him, her swollen bud aching for the release she knew his tongue could give her.

Rafe kissed her again, then very slowly licked down one pussy lip and up the other, letting then back down her slit again. The feeling of her wetness on his tongue only pushed him further, and he couldn't tease her anymore.

He slowly slid a finger inside her, immediately surprised at how tight she was. Still licking her clit, Rafe slowly slid in a second finger, causing her to buck against his face and hand and grip the sheets tighter. Stroking her slowly with his fingers, he continued to lick and suck her swollen clit, knowing that she was close.

When he slid his fingers in deep and pressed them against her G-spot, Y/N groaned loudly and pressed back on them hard. Keeping his fingers buried in her cunt, Rafe stroked her G-spot faster, her cries and gasps becoming louder and more intense. He felt her push hard against his fingers and suddenly, her pussy tightened and he could feel her orgasm as her cunt clamped down and her body trembled.

When Y/N relaxed, Rafe laid on the bed beside her, smiling down at her and waiting for her eyes to open. He kissed her lips, and it was then that her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at him in surprise, and maybe a little embarrassment.

"I can taste myself on your lips.” Y/N said softly, as if it was something she had never thought about before. It amused him, the little bits of innocence that were real, paired with the lust that was obviously burning hot inside her although she kept it hidden.

As they laid together, her hand seemed to seek out his cock again which was still hard; he had been surprised how much it aroused him to eat her pussy, how much it turned him on when she came hard on his hand. She stroked the flesh gently, and kept glancing down at it until finally Rafe caught her.

He grinned, that grin that always made her insides melt and made her want him more than ever. "You like my cock, don't you, Y/N?" He teased her, pushing his cock against her palm.

"You have no idea.” She replied, that wanton look returning to her eyes.

"Show me, then.” Rafe challenged her.

Immediately, Y/N shifted to a sitting position and then crawled over him so that he was on his back and she was straddling his hips. She looked down at him, brushing her pussy against his hard shaft. His hands were on her hips, trying to guide her down on it. But she resisted, continually pulling away but not quite letting him enter her. This time, she caught Rafe staring down, admiring the view.

"Oh, you like that, don't you?" Y/N taunted, letting her warm slit slide up and down his cock, driving him crazy.

His eyes were wild, and she knew he was having a hard time resisting the urge to force her down on top of his cock, but she was having fun teasing him. Y/N surprised him as she slid upwards again and finally felt the head of his cock press against her opening. Rafe groaned loudly as her pussy clenched repeatedly around his thick head, attempting to adjust to him.

Y/N inched her way down, feeling an intense pleasure go through her body. Once settled, she let her eyes connect with his and smiled almost shyly, and looked down to see the spot where their bodies were melded together. She couldn't resist anymore and began to grind hard on his cock, wanting him deeper.

Rafe flipped her roughly onto her back and he moved up over her again. She started pushing her hips upwards, impatient for him. He pressed against her and she pushed back, her slippery lips seeming to suck him in until he was once again deep inside her. It seemed the more he gave her the more she wanted.

As Y/N pushed her hips up against him, she pulled her legs up a little and Rafe took the hint. He smiled down at her as he guided her legs up further until her ankles were resting on his shoulders. With her legs up, he could get even deeper now, and he didn’t hesitate to do so.

When he pushed his cock all the way in, Y/N immediately arched up into him, moaning sexily. He began to pump in and out of her a bit quicker, and with each stroke she met him, gasping each time the head of his dick slammed into the back of her tight cunt.

Rafe could tell she was getting close, so he backed off for a minute, sliding his cock almost all the way out of her and leaving just the head of it between her wet pussy lips. Her eyes flew open and she looked at him, her eyes begging to have it back. She kept trying to push her hips towards him in an attempt to have her way, but it was his turn to tease her now, and he loved watching her struggle beneath him.

"Please, Rafe.” Her voice trailed off as she looked up at him helplessly, still bucking beneath him.

Rafe looked down and loved what he saw: her pussy puffy, his cock between the wet lips, and her clit, swollen and hard. He reached down and touched the little nub, causing her to shake beneath him.

Grinning, he did it again and again, teasing her with his finger and loving the way she trembled with passion and moaned, almost sobbing with pleasure. He took his hand away from her mound and grabbed her hand, guiding it to where his just was.

"I want to watch you touch yourself, Y/N.” Rafe said softly, thinking of the vibrator he’d found earlier and the way she’d been teasing her clit before he had gone down on her, knowing that she was familiar with herself.

Rafe thought she would hesitate, but was pleased when she immediately started stroking her clit with her middle finger expertly, pushing against his cock even harder now. The sight of it was too much for him and he couldn't tease her anymore.

As she stroked her clit, he slid his cock slowly back into her, feeling her clench around him. She was tightening rhythmically with every flick of her finger against her swollen bud, and he knew he was going to lose it soon.

"What do you want, baby?" Rafe groaned, holding his dick deep inside her and feeling her grinding against it.

Y/N looked up at him, and there was no longer even a trace of the innocent act left. Her eyes were full of lust and want, her body moving against his, trying to grind against him as much as she could. And when she spoke, it was all he could take.

"Rafe," Y/N said in her husky voice. “I want you to fuck me. I want you to make me cum harder than I ever have before. I'm so close right now, and I need you to make me cum.” She let her voice trail off, and he didn't waste any time in obeying her request.

Rafe pulled out a little bit and held her legs apart a bit more, and without warning slammed his rock hard cock back inside her. He pounded her again and again and she groaned with each stroke, feeling her orgasm building fast. Y/N worked her clit and reached around with her free hand, stroking his balls as they slapped against her ass.

Y/N was teetering on the edge of ecstasy, and with one final thrust he pushed her over. She cried out as her pussy tightened, and she pushed up hard against it, feeling it deeper than ever. When she tightened like that, Rafe couldn't hold back either. Within seconds, he was cumming deep inside her.

This seemed to only intensify her orgasm and she somehow clamped even tighter around him, and for a brief moment it felt like this would last forever. When their orgasms subsided, Rafe collapsed on the bed next to her, still able to hear her labored breathing. He smiled, satisfied and hoping for another round later.

As if reading his thoughts, Y/N propped herself up on her elbow and grinned at him. "You just wait.” She breathily giggled. "Next time will be even better.”

-

TAGLIST: @lovedetlost @valeriiecameron @outerbankspov @ailee-celeste @adventuresinobx @pankowperfection @blueicequeen19 @maybankslover @penny4yourthoughts @variety-fangirl @fangirlwithlou @thecameronchronicles @lafantasiaworld @drewsuncrustables @dreamingwithrafe @obaex @mvybanks @rafescokewhore @geniedetails

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Three}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

Warning: Very ooc Lucifer (I made the first few chapters before the series came out)

"Redemption?" I wonder aloud. "Yes! This is my hotel, and here, me and my staff help sinners better themselves for a chance of being redeemed!" Charlie says enthusiastically. But it didn't make much sense to me. Why would sinners care about being redeemed? Could they even be redeemed?

That sounded impossible, unheard of even. But held my tongue, clearly this was a passion project of hers. I wouldn't want to spit on her dreams.

"How...nice." I say with a smile. "But may I ask why you would do all this?" Charlie's eyes lit up at the thought of me being interested in knowing more.

"I believe that everyone deserves a second chance to be good. Everyone has good in them, even if they don't believe they do. And I think, with a little help, we can shape them into the best versions of themselves as they can be. Then they can get into heaven after all their hard work on improving."

I almost couldn't believe the words coming from her. She seemed so kind, so, not demon-ish at all! I couldn't help but wish her luck. She really believed that the sinners and demons of hell could be better people. In some ways, I agreed. I do believe people can change and be better. But, a lot of those creatures out there were here for a reason.

"So, are you here to check in?" Charlie asks me. "Uh, I-" I was cut off by Alastor. "Why yes, she is!" I shot a concerned glance at him. "Wonderful!" Charlie claps excitedly. "Come on, I'll give you a tour and introduce you to everyone!" Before I could protest, Charlie grabbed my hand and began walking.

Before she left with me she turned to Alastor. "I'll be back to help. We mainly just need to fix the place up from our last extermination." Alastor nods his head. "Of course my dear. Take your time." Charlie gives him a thumbs up before walking me away.

What was Alastor up to? Charlie showed me different areas of the hotel, and even introduced me to the staff and guests. First I met Vaggie, who turned out to be Charlie's girlfriend. She was pretty abrasive, but Charlie told me it wasn't anything personal towards me. Other than that, she was a fine demon and she clearly loved and cared about Charlie.

Next I met Angel Dust, a spider demon, he was uh...Something else. Smug too. I tried to keep my eyes on his and not his skimpy clothing. Apparently he was a porn star. I felt bad for him. Mainly because I was concerned for his safety. But he looked like he could handle himself, hopefully.

Then there was Nifty. She was nice, and very hyper. Excited to meet me and become friends, her singular eye looking me up and down frantically.

Before I could finish talking with her and move on to the next person, she picked some lint off of my dress. A clean freak I suppose. I said my goodbye before meeting the last person on Charlie's list. His name was Husk, a cat demon. And a rather rude demon at that.

He had no interest in meeting me or even spare a glance my way. Charlie apologized for his behavior before leading me back to the lobby.

"We can work on getting you a room shortly. I just have to make sure everything is all set first. Things got a little out of hand after the extermination. Then we had some demon attack us right after, thankfully Alastor got rid of him. In quite the horrifying way..." She laughs weakly before clearing her throat. "Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us."

I only offered a false smile and nod. "So, I've been meaning to ask." Charlie begins. "How do you know Alastor? I mean, everyone knows him, but you seemed to actually be friends with him." My mind blanked for a moment as I tried to think of a explanation. "Uh well, Alastor kind of helped me out a bad spot." That seemed to have caught Charlie's attention.

"Really? What happened? If you don't mind me asking." She asks. Darn. "Well, he...Uh, I was lost. Yeah, I got lost and, he helped me. I'm sure you know how hell is. So...dangerous and and all that." Charlie nods. "Trust me, I know." She chuckles. "Being the princess of hell, I'm aware of a lot of things that go down on a regular basis. But not everything, my dad knows way more than me." My eyes go wide for a second.

Did she just say princess of hell? Does...does that mean her father is...

There was a knock on the front doors of the hotel. "I'll get it! Excuse me for a moment Y/n." Charlie says before heading for the front door. She straightens out her suit before opening the doors. "Welcome to...Oh, hey dad." Standing before Charlie, was a demon.

But not just any demon. This demon was known by all, in heaven, hell, and earth alike.

This demon, was none other than Lucifer himself. But could that really be him? He looked nothing like how I thought he would. For one thing, he was much...shorter, than I picture him to be.

Charlie's takes after her father's looks, as he had the same pale white skin, blonde hair, and rosy cheeks to bring it all together. They even shared the same eyes. When he spoke, it only sent more surprise and confusion through me. "Charlotte! How have you been?" His voice was a higher pitch than I imagined.

Not deep and masculine, but not feminine either. Somewhere right in between. "I'm fine." Charlie says with a weak smile. "What uh, what are you doing here?" She asks carefully. "I just wanted to check on my daughter. This year's extermination was no joke! The angels were relentless, I haven't seen so much carriage in a while." Lucifer walks past her into the hotel lobby, he looked around. "So, this is the hotel you've been working on."

Charlie follows after her dad, nervously fidgeting with her hands. "Yep." Lucifer chuckles. "Adorable." He says with a shake of his head. Suddenly his gaze fell onto me and I froze in place. "A new guest of yours?" Lucifer glances at his daughter for a moment. When she nods he looks back to me before approaching me. My breath was caught in my throat, my hands began to tremble.

He was but a step away from me, he looked at me with a grin. "What might your name be, little demon?" He asks. I couldn't bring myself to speak, my cowardice only seemed to have amused Lucifer. "Well? Are you going to tell me?" He smirks.

I glance over at Charlie, I don't know why, but I was hoping she could help me somehow. But she only kept her gaze on the floor, holding her arm close to her side with a nervous expression. I turn my attention back to Lucifer, who was still waiting for me to give him my name.

Finally I swallowed the large lump in my throat and speak. "Y-Y/n." I murmur. "Y/n." Lucifer repeats leaning in closer to me. His eyes bore into mine, his grin dropping slightly. "Strange..." He narrows his eyes. Suddenly Alastor's voice caught our attention.

"Lucifer, my good fellow! I had no idea you would be stopping by!" Lucifer looks over his shoulder before his grin returns to his face. "Alastor. Always a pleasure." He thankfully moves away from me and towards Alastor.

I could finally breath normally again, my heart wouldn't calm down as it thumped harshly against my chest. "I thought I might pay this place a visit. After all, it means so much to my daughter." He was far shorter than Alastor. Though, Alastor kept his same respectful demeanor when talking to Lucifer.

"Of course." Alastor nods. "It's quite the hotel. Very...Unique." Lucifer laughs at that. "You're right about that my good man."

Lucifer glances back at me as still talks with Alastor. "I thought this place would be in shambles after that extermination. Turns out my daughter can fend for herself after all." Charlie's expression fell at his words. "Anyhow. I should be on my way. Lots of work to be done, and business to attend to." He walks past Alastor and back towards the hotel entrance. "Oh, I almost forgot." He stops just before the door.

"Alastor? You haven't seen anything out of the ordinary lately have you? I ask because I know how attentive you are when it comes to anything new and unusual."

"Hm. Afraid not. Why? Has something occurred that I should know about?" Alastor asks. Lucifer shrugs. "I can't be sure. But I could have sworn I saw something quite strange fall from the sky early this morning." I noticed that Alastor's smile tightened slightly. "A new sinner?" He asks.

"Perhaps. Though, I've yet to see a sinner with such unordinary wings." Lucifer said lowly. My heart dropped down to the pit of my stomach. "But then again, I am so very overworked." He sighs. "Must have been my imagination."

"Maybe so." Alastor says calmly. Lucifer's smile turned sinister. "I'll be seeing you around, Alastor." He says before stepping out and closing the door behind him. I stare at the door unblinking, my hands trembling.

I look over at Alastor, despite his smile, I could tell he was upset. I would have asked if he was alright, but Charlie walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry about that." She sighs. "I didn't know my dad would ever come here. He's never been interested in my project, I guess I shouldn't have let my guard down. Are you alright?" She asks me.

I nod my head. "I-I'm ok." Charlie offers me a small smile before taking my hand. "Let's get you to your room. You can relax for a bit."

[indigovigilance]

The Erasure of Human!Metatron

The elephant in the room is that Neil has [purportedly] denied the existence of a human Metatron. But I, for one, think an elephant really ties the room together. So let's get started.

First, I will address Neil Gaiman’s apparent denial of the Human!Metatron storyline (below the cut):

Caption: The Metatron in Good Omens wasn't ever human.

Which would seem to put the debate to bed.

Except.

Caption: That’s not really his father. It is. It is now, and it always was.

By Adam renouncing Satan as his father, we have in-story canon evidence that the past can be retroactively changed. So a storyline past can be divergent from an in-world past which has been modified. But only to a degree, because Aziraphale and Crowley clearly remember that Adam ~was~ Satan’s son, and Adam still retains some residual powers. Like pencil marks on paper, the past can be erased, but the shadow of its former self will always be there. But if that's not enough for you, there's also...

Lucifer!Satan

Neil Gaiman has also been pretty consistent with this characterization about the non-existence of the past in other characters, for example Lucifer!Satan:

Basically (not to be rude), if you think that these statements can be taken to mean that we will definitely not get a story about Enoch aka Human!Metatron in S3, you have fundamentally misunderstood how time, history, and identity work in Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens universe.

So what Neil said about Metatron never being human… can we just collectively set that aside for a moment?

Caption: Work with me, I’m extrapolating here. Yes? Good. Read the rest of the meta.

Evidence of Human!Metatron

Now that we have established that a former, no-longer-existing version of Metatron could have been human, let’s examine the in-world evidence. The best direct evidence is:

Caption: I’ve ingested things in my time, you know.

This is weirdly important in the Book of Enoch. Food is mentioned in the Book of Enoch at least fourteen times, and consistently it is associated with being human, and having earthly desires, and subsequently with sin, whereas the angels are described as not needing to eat food but instead being nourished by faith alone. Enoch!Metatron’s own relationship with food is also explicitly elucidated:

Enoch answered to his son Mathosalam (and) said: Hear, child, from the time when the Lord anointed me with the ointment of his glory, (there has been no) food in me, and my soul remembers not earthly enjoyment, neither do I want anything earthly.

I propose that "in my time" is a direct reference to Metatron's prior existence as a human, and the fact that this time is over serves to underscore his current inhumanity, making him all the more sinister.

Other Evidence Pointing to Book of Enoch

This next bit is somewhat dubious evidence, but the entire reason I wound up investigating this is that I was actually investigating Baraqiel:

…and for the God-fearing life of me, I cannot find any reference to Baraqiel except in the Book of Enoch. So this is a pretty big ✨Clue✨ to just leave hanging out there if it’s not supposed to lead us to this text.

The Scottish Mason

Okay guys, this the part where it all comes unhinged, but I promise the payoff is worth it.

The Book of Enoch was recovered from Ethiopia in 1773 by a Scottish explorer named James Bruce, who also happened to be a Mason. In 1774, upon his return, he was made a Fellow of The Royal Society of Edinburgh. And if this quote doesn’t get you, I don’t know what will:

Amazingly, Bruce brings back not just one copy, nor two, but three! Three copies of this text, which was previously thought to have been lost to the West forever. This inevitably led to all kinds of accusations as to where he had come by them, and more importantly how? Add to this that Bruce was a Mason in one of the most influential lodges, a Bruce descendant, and an imposing physical figure and 6 feet 4 inches tall, with dark red hair and an irascible temper, it is no wonder that so much excitement and mystery surrounded the man. [source]

So, you know, this guy:

In summary:

There are reasons that we should be looking to the Book of Enoch, and the story surrounding its reintroduction to the Western world, as source evidence for Good Omens S3.

If you enjoyed this, you may also like my meta on Baraqiel and Azazel, which draws upon the Book of Enoch.

My original (in retrospect, kind of terrible) Metatron meta is here.

[elysianeclipxe]

layla or me | sim jaeyun

genre/au: fluff, friends to lovers?? // warnings: jake being jelly, semi-insecure thoughts, flirty stuff // wc: 0.8k // pairing: jake x reader // net: @hyfenet

summary: what happens when jake gets replaced.. by his own dog? spoiler alert, he's not happy about it at all

sidenote: this has been stuck in my head for the past few days, apparently being on a break does not mean that ideas will not fuel my head lol

You have seen many cute sights before, but none can top what you are seeing right now. It was a general fact that your boyfriend, Jake, was the human version of a golden retriever. He's kind, trustworthy, reliable, and extremely sweet – with his acts of service, active smiles, and the constant need for affection. That's just who he is. And right now is just.. so him.

"No fair! Layla's been on your lap, hogging all the cuddles for the past 2 hours! When am I gonna get my turn?" You laughed at his whines, watching him sit at the other end of the couch with his arms crossed. He pouted even more at the sound of your laughter. It really wasn't fair for him.

"What? I've missed her so much, plus she misses me too. I need to give her some much needed attention."

He frowned at your answer, "what about my need for your attention?!"

"You saw me yesterday! I haven't seen Layla in forever!"

"That was yesterday! I had practice today since early morning and haven't seen you since. That felt like forever to me!" Jake pushed himself off the couch and marched over to his room with occasional huffs leaving his lips.

You sighed with a smile and carefully moved Layla over. You pushed yourself off the couch as well and followed a couple of steps right behind Jake. He sat on the bed and turned his back to you making you giggle at the silly action. I guess he really was upset, though, not so much of course.

Oh well, looks like you're gonna have to fix this. You climbed onto his bed and nudged him with your finger. Poke. Poke. Poke, until he turned to face you, sadness in his eyes.

"I cannot believe that you're jealous of your own dog. Jake, come on, don't be upset." You said to break the tension.

"How am I not supposed to be upset over this? Can't believe that I'm being betrayed by my best friend and my own dog."

"In what way am I betraying you?" From what you remember you never did anything that could possibly betray him.

"You chose Layla over me. In my eyes that's betrayal. Don't get me wrong, I love that you love her.. it's just.." Jake looked down and fiddled with the rings on his fingers. Man, how was he supposed to say this without sounding like a child. "I need my time with you too. Am I gonna get less time with you, since she's your favourite now?"

He glanced over at you only to see you smiling brightly at him. He nibbled on his bottom lip in embarrassment. Jealous over his own dog, how immature. The male was ready to change the topic until his body was tackled by yours causing the two of you to flop on the bed.

"Ughhh stop being so cute!! Jake, nobody can replace you as my favourite. Not even Layla." You beamed at him and gently took his hands into yours. You felt a little bad that he felt so strongly about it. The idea of him caring so much over his cuddle time with you made you warm. "I'm sorry if I took a bit far."

He shook his head and told you, brows furrowed, "you don't need to say sorry. I was just being silly over something so little."

"No, you weren't." You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. The feeling of his body relaxing in your arms and the warmth that surrounded you when he wrapped his arms around you too, it felt so natural like it did everyday.

After what felt like hours you slowly pull away and see that his face has eased up after the cuddle session. "There, all better. Now, can you forgive me?"

His smile was bright.. a total opposite to his words, "no. You need to do something else to make me forgive you. You hurt my feelings." You scoffed at his words and asked him what he wanted you to do as compensation.

Jake raised his hand and softly held your chin, his eyes flickering over your lips. "You could kiss me."

What? Just… just what — did he actually just say that? An awkward laugh escaped your mouth in reply, "Haha, very funny, what a nice joke." You tried your best to seem as cool and casual about it. He's probably just joking to get back at you.

"It's not a joke though." He smirked at your face and leaned in closer to your face. The distance between you two is getting smaller and smaller. Is this the same Jake who was upset and jealous over his dog a while ago?

"What do you say?" He asked in a whisper. You could feel his breath graze your lips. Too close.

"Are you still going to choose Layla over me? Or, are you gonna kiss me?"

© elysianeclipxe. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my content onto other platforms.

[dreamwritersworld]

Favorite crime. Part 2 (miles morales x reader)

Miles was ghosting Y/n and he didn’t even notice. Y/n cried for hours walking home thinking about everything. Miles laid in his bed thinking about the argument. Was he wrong? Yes. Was he going to say sorry? Not..yet? He just didn’t know how to, this never happened. In other words, miles didn’t understand how to deal with it, with her.

It was eating him up, Y/n tried so hard to hold in her cry. She was all he had beside him..but it was Gwen’s arms that he needed this time. Y/n was doing so well, and she was so understanding. Miles knew she was good to him no matter what, in any universe or world he knew Y/n would be supporting him. After all Y/n was his partner in crime.

It was buried deep in Y/n’s head that miles wished it was Gwen there instead. Maybe in another universe…he’d love her back. For now, Miles can continue to say nothing happened between them but it was Y/n’s sweetest memories.

That night Miles just couldn’t help but think about the last time they hung out before this time…he was slightly bored with her that night but forcing her to sing was something that brought him back to her…even for a little.

*flashback*

The two teens were walking back home, after a night of Y/n singing on an open mic in front of a small crowd in a cafe.

She wasn’t going to do it until Miles pushed her into it, he loved her voice and the way she showed exactly how she was feeling with it.

Y/n sang ‘no me queda mas’, a song she knew so very well and held close to her heart. Unrequited love was going to be the death of Y/n.

She stared at miles for the most heart breaking lines, if he knew better and understood…he knew it was about him.

“That was so fun…”

There was silence between them but it was comfortable.

“When I was on that stage, it was like something I never felt before. I’m just glad they liked it!”

“I know why they all love you so much”

“Oh yea why?”

Y/n giggled at his statement until he paused them.

“Because I love you. You’re the best friend that I’ve ever had, I can talk to you about anything and you always understand.”

Y/n heart was warmed but still hurt at the thought of him still calling her, ‘friend’

“Oh miles..I love you too.”

“Let’s get you home before someone starts screaming for your autograph since your a singer now and all”

Laughter erupted between them at the delusions they were setting. They walked side by side calmly and Y/n was happy in being with him and even if it was only two hours.

*

The next couple of weeks, they never spoke but something changed in Y/n…she was bit by a spider. She would’ve never been at the park by herself sitting in the cold on a chair if she hadn’t been missing miles. She was terrified of her own body, although…it didn’t mean she was tied down to this universe ..no..no something was different with her. Y/n never had a clear home and when she did it was miles…she had nothing to love here except miles and his family. Her parents never cared for her or loved her the way she was supposed to be loved. Y/n wanted so badly to run from herself. She didn’t want the weight of saving the world to stand on her shoulders and she had zero clue on how to handle it.

She wanted to run to Miles though, ask him how to handle it…but she just couldn’t. Rio missed Y/n coming around more then one time a week and every time she asked miles what was going on with them he just brushed it off. Their Sunday’s was now just Rio, Jeff and Y/n all of them shake their heads at the empty chair next to Y/n that was once Miles chair but no one brought it up.

For the first time that night Y/n decided to just accept her powers, Y/n loved it. She fell in love again with herself and her world…she was the calmest she ever was in weeks! Swinging across the city never catching a breath, astonished at the beautiful views. Y/n blended in with the night wearing all black and a face covering, but she was being watched.

Spiderman…miles. He saw her, but he didn’t know it was Y/n so, when he saw her settle on a rofftop after swinging, he approached her.

“Hello! I saw you swinging over there! It’s awesome to see someone with powers again, did you just get them? Or are you not from here?”

Miles couldn’t see the surprised expression under the mask, Y/n coughed before changing her voice.

“I am from here! I-uhh I just got my powers…see you around.”

His eyes widened at the sudden goodbye, and once he heard her nervousness in her voice he knew it wasn’t her fault.

“Hey! Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell no one! I just..I want to know someone like me again.”

Y/n turned around, her sweet heart couldn’t let herself deny miles…ok only for five minutes…that’s what her mind said. Looking from a far you could see how similar they were, Y/n was wearing all black but her outfit fitted perfectly with her body, just like miles…He couldn’t deny that something drew him to her.

“I can only stay for a little…wanna go for a swing?”

Miles gladly accepted and they had fun for a little time. He admired the way she did everything so effortlessly even after he just learned this was only her first night, she was just scared to accept her powers.

Y/n didn’t know that miles would once again drag her into his issues. When they said their goodbyes Y/n meant it. Sure she enjoyed talking to miles but it hurt to be around him and it felt horrible knowing she was talking to him behind a mask. Miles said goodbye for now, not goodbye forever.

The next day Y/n gently did her hair and light makeup, putting on a beautiful long fitted black dress and fur sweater. She didn’t have much money, but Y/n knew the in’s and out and never failed at dressing herself perfectly. Underneath the dress was a perfectly sewn outfit fitted and black, with a black mask connected, thin enough that she can see better but not enough for you to see her face. Nerves ran through her body at the thought of seeing Miles again without the masks.

She walked her way to the roof where Mr.Mórales’s promotion was. It had been hours of no eating so Y/n grabbed a plate and served herself quickly biting into at piece of chicken. Rio was the first one to greet Y/n, taking her by surprise.

“Don’t eat to fast honey! How are you? You don’t come over that much anymore.”

Y/n looked up in surprised and embarrassment covering her mouth before speaking.

“Hola Mrs.Mórales! No te preocupes, estoy bien! (Don’t worry, I’m fine) ….I just stayed up late studying for a big test for a class. I’m sorry about not coming around-“

Y/n was cut off with the door opening and a rushed miles announcing his arrival with cake and all she could do was sigh in relief at not having to lie to Rio about why she hadn’t been coming over. The conversation ended as Rio rushed to miles with the most motherly walk ever, visibly upset. Y/n turned away from the three of them, creating distance enough that miles wouldn’t see her. She could hear the entire argument…I mean everyone kinda did..her heart never failed to ache for him though, it was so visible to her that he was just stressed.

When the argument was over a couple moments later Rio walked back to Y/n who was silently sitting by herself staring at the view.

“Y/n…i know you heard everything. If you could just come down with us..to speak to him, maybe hearing from you is all he needs.”

There was desperation in her voice and right then and there Y/n wanted to cry and admit to Rio that she no longer is the one who can comfort Miles and make him feel better…but once again Y/n just couldn’t say no. She nodded her head quietly following both parents to miles room.

“miles…miles..?”

Both parents tried telling miles they just wanted to talk but Y/n just got silent as she saw the empty room, she only had the door opened enough for her to see it. When Rio pushed it open more she was filled with anger, staring at the jacket of a girl…Y/n never noticed it but now that she did it hurt her even more. She was far too busy taking in his drawings and room, missing the familiar homey feeling of it.

The three of them walked up back to the party, catching miles talking to a girl on the roof…Gwen. The scene was far too sensitive for Y/n to keep looking so she just stared at the floor trying to keep tears from falling.

“y/n…i know you-..”

Rio hesitated on her words, for the first time scared to confront the girl who’s barley hanging on watching her son talk to someone she knows has his heart.

“I know you love him..just, remember to take care of yourself too mija..”

Y/n looked up with a gentle smile and watered eyes.

“I’ll be ok…I have to go though..enjoy your party!”

Rio’s emotions were so mixed seeing her two favorite pair tear from each other. Jeff and her smiled to Y/n sweet goodbyes as they focused on approaching Miles and the girl.

The awkward interaction between Gwen, miles and his parents continued, while y/n changed out her dress and into her suit, ready to go for another swing.

10 minutes into the adventure Y/n could feel something was wrong, she trusted her senses to lead her. It followed her right to miles and Gwen. Y/n followed Gwen into the dimension, she saw the way Gwen was slightly torn on leaving miles and his universe…it just bothered Y/n that she got in between the two. She was never apart of this universe..how much did she really love miles if she was able to jump back and forth between universes and never visited him.

When y/n made it, following Gwen and Miles and showing up right beside the group, all of them stared at her confused. All she could do was chuckle awkwardly.

“Ha..i just sensed something bad and followed. Sorry-“

Miles could tell the girl was nervous without seeing her face, it was just the way she acted and gestured he knew those were acts of anxiousness, he’s seen it on Y/n..but he was too stupid to put two and two together.

“It’s fine! Guys, this is…spider-women for now.! She doesn’t have a name, or she hasn’t told me! We met last night! She’s new to all this-“

Miles rubbed his shoulder against her to get her to lighten up, it was things like that…the small things provided her comfort.

“Welcome newbie. We should get to fighting, meetings aren’t important right now.” Gwen made it blunt and short for Y/n and Miles to understand.

When it was time to go, Y/n walked beside hobie, Gwen and Miles fascinated at the area full of other versions of them.

“You can take your mask off…no one is gonna care or know.”

Y/n turned around to miles, panicked at the request.

“I don’t know, not too sure I’m comfortable..”

Y/n walked forward beside hobie as he made a joke in order to get the girl to finally open up.

Miles head turned to the familiar laugh, it sounded all too much like Y/n’s. Filled with joy and excitement for everyone to hear…he missed her, but she wasn’t gone. For all he knew she was with his parents having Sunday dinner…Miles wishes right now that everything was perfect and he was at home with everyone, at least he had Gwen and his friends for now..?

Y/n watched at Miguel scolded everyone but she didn’t expect for him to actually point at her.

“And you! Your whole story just- I can’t. You both ruined your universe, your lucky nothing happened when you got bit.”

Miguel’s words hurt, but they didn’t dig deep enough for her to not talk back.

“Excuse me? I didn’t even do anything wrong. I don’t even know you so don’t tell me what I-“

“But i know you! You’re Y/n and Miles stupidly changed your path. You aren’t even supposed to be here, you followed him. Again!”

Miles froze hearing her name.

“Y/n…”

The young girl stumbled back not responding while Miguel went on about how both of them weren’t supposed to be there, he was more enraged at Miles for causing it. When Y/n heard that Jeff, Mr.Morales was going to die, she escaped with miles fighting off everyone. Following him once again…

!❤️💙!

requests are very much open, feel free to send and I’ll decided if I can do them or come up with something

You know I had to use the two most heartbreaking songs both Spanish and English because phew. Those tears fell. Notice how Y/n stayed beside him while everyone else betrayed him…yea. Loyal.

Tag list: @justleila @tati-the-fangirl @kxllanxtdoor @abbersreads @abislays123 @not-aya @usernamepasswordsstuff

[madaqueue]

Practice Makes Perfect | Chapter 2

synopsis: you and yuji have been best friends basically as long as you can remember, and you made a promise to each other to stay friends and help each other be the best versions of yourselves for your future partners. but will things change when yuji finally starts looking for a relationship?

pairing: yuji itadori (18+) x f!reader

themes/content: modern college au (characters aged up to 18+). fluff, with a whisper of angst. language, nudity. 18+, MDNI.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: i am tormented writing this, i wake up in the middle of the night with ideas but this is fr just exposition don't you worry, we're getting there i promise

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The next week goes by in a blur. You and Yuji don’t run into each other, which is pretty typical, and you try your best to act like you weren’t completely shocked at how he kissed you the last time you saw each other whenever you’re texting him.

During a break between classes on Thursday, you head back to your dorm to relax for a bit and get some lunch. As soon as you close your door, your phone lights up with an incoming video call from Yuji. You answer it and see his face suddenly take over your screen.

“Hey there! Sorry to call you suddenly, but I have another favor to ask you,” he says with a cheeky smile. “You remember that girl I told you about last week? Well, she and I are kind of supposed to hang out and I wanted to practice the whole date thing with you,” he pauses, expectantly.

“Sure,” you sigh with a small smile forming on your lips, “when are you supposed to see her?” “That’s sort of the thing…” Yuji hesitates, breaking eye contact with the screen for a moment before turning back, “we’re supposed to hang out tomorrow so I would kind of need you to come over tonight.” “Tonight?” your eyes widen. “Yuji, I have class, and assignments, and-”

He cuts you off. “I know, I know, but I promise I’ll make it up to you! Look, come over to my place tonight at 6:00, pretty please?” he pleads, batting his eyelashes at the camera.

You concede, “Fine, but you owe me one.” Yuji cheers and thanks you profusely.

You hang up the phone and walk towards your bed, laying down on your back with your feet dangling off the end. You still don’t know what to make of the sudden change in your dynamic - I mean, you guys haven’t hung out one-on-one for months and now suddenly you’re making out like it’s no big deal? And what’s with this girl he went from not being sure he even had feelings for to suddenly going out with her tomorrow? Is he going to kiss her like he kissed you? You feel a pang in your stomach.

Are you…jealous? No, no way, you’re just hungry because you still haven’t had lunch. You push the thoughts aside as you get up to grab some leftovers from the mini fridge in your room and try to keep it out of your mind until tonight.

–

By the time you get to Yuji’s, the sun has set and the streetlights are starting to turn on as you walk across campus. When you arrive you knock on his door and he opens it, his eyes immediately scanning your body as he takes you in. You’re wearing an off-white bodycon dress you found in the back of your closet with a black jacket to help keep you warm on your way over, an outfit that’s fairly atypical for you since you don’t often have a reason to dress up like this.

“Wow,” Yuji says with a smile, eyes still glancing over you, “you look…really nice.”

“Thanks,” you shrug. “I figured this should be as immersive as possible so you can actually use it as practice for your date tomorrow rather than us just hanging out like always.”

He nods in agreement and moves to let you step into his room. Inside, you notice candles lighting the space rather than the LED lights like last time, and it makes everything feel much cozier.

“It looks nice but isn’t this a huge fire hazard?” you tease, slipping your jacket off and hanging it on one of the hooks behind his door.

“Dunno, just wanted it to be nice for you,” he says nonchalantly as he moves toward the center of the room. There’s a fold-out table that was almost definitely used for beer pong at some point with two chairs you’re pretty sure were stolen from his dorm’s study room on either side of it. He pulls out one of the chairs for you and you sit down in front of an empty paper plate and red Solo cup.

“How classy,” you smirk at the setup.

“Hey, it’s the best I could do on short notice - besides, it’s not like she’s coming here tomorrow anyways,” he argues, crossing his arms. You notice him trying to hide a grin before he moves to sit across from you at the table. “Anyways, thank you for coming tonight.” He smiles genuinely at you. “Before we begin our meal, could I offer you some of our finest wine selection?” he asks while pulling out the cheapest-looking box of red wine from behind his chair.

You laugh at his question. “Seriously? How did you even get that in here? Isn’t alcohol banned in the dorms?”

“Don’t worry about it, sweets,” he says with a wink. In reality, Yuji had worried about it, a lot. He had to ask his friend Toge to help him smuggle it in, pretending it was a new gaming system they were going to play, making sure to give the security guard posted outside the dorm a good show of how excited they were about it. But, now that was all said and done, and Yuji was just glad his efforts paid off and he got to share it with you.

He leans forward across the table, propping his elbows on either side of your plate to steady himself, and begins pouring wine out of the box into your cup. He looks down to make sure he doesn’t spill any, when suddenly the table gives out under the weight of him resting his arms on it. The nearly-full cup tumbles toward you and covers your dress in dark red.

“Shit, Yuji!” you scream reflexively as you stand up. You try to brush the wine off your dress but that seems to only smear it more.

The boy looks up from where he is now laying on the floor on top of the collapsed table, taking in the situation before he immediately springs into action. “Okay, you take your dress off, I’m gonna go grab some laundry detergent, and we’re going to fix this - I-I mean, I’m going to fix this,” he states, trying to reassure himself as much as you.

He uses his hands to push himself up off the ground and steps over to his closet, quickly grabbing one of his oversized t-shirts and tossing it at you before running out of the room. You stare at the black shirt in your hands, still trying to process the scene that unfolded but realizing you do still need to change. You begin to unzip your dress and the second it hits the floor, Yuji runs back into the room.

“I found the detergent!” he proclaims, excitedly holding the bottle above his head before he realizes what he just walked in on. He freezes, eyes glancing quickly all over your body just like he did when you first arrived, but this time with the notable absence of your dress. His eyes pause over your matching black bra and panties before he looks back to your face, watching your cheeks suddenly turn red from embarrassment. You aren’t even sure why you’re blushing since Yuji has seen you change more times than you can count, but just like when you were sitting on his lap last week, this time feels different.

You both stare at each other before he lets out a nervous chuckle that breaks the silence. “You, uh, you want me to wash that dress or not?” You look down to the crumpled dress at your feet and instinctively toss it to him without a word. “Sweet, I’ll get this in the wash and be back in a second,” he says before promptly turning and leaving.

As you look down at your hands, you notice they’re shaking. What is wrong with me? You think. It’s just Yuji. Shaking the thought away, you slide the t-shirt over your head and it nearly reaches to your mid-thighs. You let out a sigh, thankful to finally feel a bit more covered.

Yuji pops his head back into the room. “Are you decent?” he teases before swinging the door open without waiting for an answer.

You feel a bit better now that you’re clothed again, finding some energy to joke back with him. “What a romantic dinner, Yu,” you say with a chuckle, your voice still a bit more shaky than you would have liked.

“Hey, it was still good practice! What if there’s a horrible wine emergency on our date tomorrow and I have to think fast,” he laughs. “Besides, we can still finish this date. You haven’t even seen the main course yet!”

He reaches under his bed and pulls out a familiar bag, holding it up with a toothy grin. “Taco Bell? Seriously?” you groan and flop back on his bed.

“Don’t blame me, you’re the one who said you didn’t want to eat my delicious cooking,” he jokes. “Besides, it’s the only place where I still have your order memorized, and I wanted to make sure I got you something you’d like,” he hums.

You shift your eyes down from the ceiling onto his, and it’s almost like you can see his gaze soften as you look at him. Yuji was truly nothing if not genuine; it was clear that he really did care about getting you something you’d like, and he wanted to show you that he still knows things about you, even if they’re as simple as your fast-food order. You felt the air in the room shift, and while you couldn’t read Yuji’s mind, after knowing each other for that long you could make a pretty good guess: he needed this. You could almost sense his subtle desperation for your approval as he walks towards you, and without thinking, you say, “It’s perfect Yuji, I love it,” with a smile forming on your lips.

He lights up at your words and leaps forward onto the bed, landing next to you on his stomach before turning to face you. “I know this isn’t exactly how you pictured this ‘date’ going, but I’d still like it to be special. Besides, it’s late, and you can’t exactly walk back to your dorm in my t-shirt, so why don’t we make tonight fun, just the two of us? Like we used to?” he pauses, waiting for your answer.

His eyes lock onto yours and again, without thinking, you turn towards him and throw an arm around his shoulder. Glancing at the clock behind him, it illuminates the time: 6:43. It was absolutely not late and you could easily borrow some of his sweatpants to walk back to your dorm, but instead of saying that, your mouth moves before your mind can catch up. “Like we used to,” you say through a soft grin.

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[icequeenlila]

JJK Character Analysis (kinda)

Topic: "Gojo knows it's his fault that Geto left."

When I first entered the fandom I grew really tired, really quick of this statement. Bc it's just wrong.

Gojo may THINK that he is at fault for Geto leaving, but it's simply not true. They both fucked up big time communication wise. Still, I think the way things went between them was really realistic and could have happened just like that in real life.

I'm gonna ramble now, so either buckle up or scroll.

The obvious point where their relationship started to fall apart was defenitely Riko's assassination. Let's start from here. I'm gonna switch between Gojo and Geto, I hope I can word my thoughts correctly.

So, our boys both responded differently to the incident.

Let's take a look at Gojo first.

We see him get stabbed from behind by Toji and he doesn't even flinch. He just smiles at Suguru and tells him to get away. This moment alone shows how strong the mask Gojo puts on is, and for me, it really doesn't come as a suprise that he later seems unaffected by the events of the day.

He locks it away. He doesn't show anything. Gojo is the Strongest and not allowed to show any kind of weaknes.

That's basically what he was taught his whole life from society and probably his own family/clan too. So, he acts accordingly, bc he actually believes he has to. He smiles through the pain.

Now to Geto.

I started to sum up what happened to him during the incident, but let's be honest we all know what went down and don't need it. So, I'm gonna sum up.

Humans clapping applause over the death of an innocent girl. His best friend holding said girl, a numb expression on his face that Suguru had never seen on him before.

"Satoru, is that you?"

His whole view of the world basically tips and shatters.

Humans, in his eyes, are no longer worth protecting. His best friend's hands are tied by the fucked up Jujutsu Society, forced to keep fighting and fixing until one day he can't do it anymore.

His whole world basically turns upside down, nothing is like it was before. And what is even more frustrating, Suguru doesn't have the power to change it.

Satoru has. But Satoru won't. He acts like nothing happened. Satoru just moved on. (He thinks.)

But Suguru can't do that. This sense of injustice eats him up inside and he can't fight it.

Sooo, now that we got that established, let's look at the miscommunication!

Geto is depressed. Obviously.

He keeps his thoughts to himself, bc he doesn't want to burden his friends. And also (I think) bc it's hard to pin down what he is actually feeling in the beginning. He doesn't quite get it himself, so what is he supposed to tell them?

He isolates himself, allowing his spiraling thoughts to grow and take over his mind.

It's typical depressive behavior. Closing yourself off and marinating in your own misery until those dark thoughts blow up and become all consuming and suffocating.

You can't tell a depressed person to talk, to 'just open up'. The automatic response is to become defensive and close up even more. You can only offer a helping hand. The person has to take it theirself.

"Suguru, did you lose weight?"

Satoru tries. He offeres Geto a hearing ear. Agreed, not in the best way there is, his voice too cheery, smile still on his face, downplaying the situation.

He simply doesn't know how to deal with this new version of his best friend. He doesn't know how to pull him out of it. For that Gojo would need to open up himself, show that he is struggleing too, but that's against everything he's ever been taught. He doesn't know how, and he probably is hella scared of his own feelings, hiding them even from himself.

"It's just the heat stress."

Suguru pushes him away, locks him out, bc there is already enough pressure on Satoru's shoulders. At least so he thinks.

And mayyyybe Suguru even has some subconscious repulsion against him. Gojo has all the power to chnage something, but he doesn’t. Geto has the vision to change something, but he can't. He's not strong enough.

They are both helpless. They don't know how to reach out to each other.

Another point: We only get Geto's pov. of the aftermath. We only get to see him deal with the fallout.

So we as the viewer know that he isn't doing well, that he is spiraling and in desperate need of help. It's easy to point fingers and say "Look at the shadows beneath his eyes. How didn't Gojo notice?"

Gojo did notice. He just didn't know how to reach out. He never had to deal with something like that before.

And now what bothers me the most: Who was there to look after Gojo? Who did offer him any help? If people point fingers at him, why not also at Suguru?

Yes, it was more obvious with Geto, he didn't have the same mask in place. But what friend wouldn't at least ask if things were okay, after their best friend literally got sliced in half and just barely escaped death?

I'm not trying to blame either of them. They simply were both too caught up inside their own minds. They were dealing with their stuff on their own and failed to see the other struggle just as much.

This isn't a one way thing. If anything, they both failed each other.

"Gojo knows it is his fault that Geto left."

No. Just no.

Bc really, in the end it's nobodies fault but Geto's. Yes, he struggled. Yes, he was traumatized. I get his character, I really do and I understand why things ended this way. But I just hate to see all of his flaws getting looked over and pushed onto Gojo.

Like a hug would have fixed things.

It doesn't work like that. Suguru's decisions were solely his own. He decided to push Satoru away. He decided to isolate himself. (Again, typical behavior of a depressed person and likeley to happen subconsciously). He decided to wipe out an entire village of 'innocent' humans.

Don't get me wrong, I love our Monkey Anti, but I'm not going to defend him. He fucked up. He had his reasons, but still.

Like Gojo said later on: "You can only safe someone who is already waiting to be saved."

Geto did not want to be saved. Or at least he didn't give Satoru a chance to save him.

So no, it's not Gojo's fault, even if he himself thinks so. Of course things could have ended differently, but for that both of them would have needed to open up.

Their falling apart was really well executed in the story. They didn't know how to deal with the situation, so they kept silent until it was too late. It's really human of both of them.

(Honestly, if you wanna blame anyone for anything, blame Toji. We wouldn't even have this mess if it wasn't for him.)

Phew... I still feel like I have so much more to say. I hope I brought my thoughts across.

I just think it's really sad that Satoru's pain and struggle get's overlooked so much, just bc we didn't see it on screen. But then again that's really fitting for his character. "The strongest doesn't struggle."

Cleverly written Gege. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.

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These are my thoughts on the topic. If yours differ that's totally fine. So, our brains don't work the same. No biggie. Pls don't come at me.🤍🖤