#physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request Luke castellan dating head canons where reader is the child of hades who is pretty shy, hates confrontation, but is super artistic

Luke loves being relied upon, especially by you, and would reassure you on several occasions that he would come running should you even whisper his name in a plea for help.

He loves being of help to you and will take advantage of all the times where he got to bring a little sense of peace into your life, knowing that he had a hand in bringing you back from the edge whenever you needed him to be that voice of reason, telling you that everything will be okay.

Luke is protective over you.

Everyone in camp half blood were more then aware of how protective Luke is over you and it’s made even more evident whenever someone -ares children specifically- tried to back you into a corner and dupe you into a position where you’d have to physically fight back against them in order for them to leave you alone.

Luke knew that most of camp wouldn’t intervene for one of two reasons;

a) they were still very much on edge with you being a forbidden child of the big three, Hades no less, and they were terrified of the consequences of their actions should they do something.

B) no one wants to get into the crosshairs of a temperamental ares kid. It was an unspoken rule in camp to never be in the line of sights of an ares kid itching for a fight.

So Luke is the only soul brave enough to step in between you and the Ares kid and defuse the situation with a few choice words and a humiliating fast ass whooping; Needless to say Luke didn’t take too kindly to others engaging in unnecessary confrontations with you, knowing damn well it’ll be one sided on your end as you took great care to reframe from engaging in conflicts of any kind.

Luke knows he’s a well liked and respected guy at camp and will reap those benefits without a second thought for your comfort at every opportunity given to him. For whatever you wished to have, Luke would give it to you in abundance, no hesitation.

Your shyness only fuels Luke’s protective nature as he would more often then not act as your voice in situations where you didn’t feel as though you could access your own voice. Ie: asking for help, making appointments, ordering food/drink, setting up and reinforcing your boundaries when they’re being unfairly crossed, etc.

He’s your biggest supporter and will offer silent encouragement or reminders that he’s with you every step of the way by different methods meant to calm and ground you in reality with him such as;

Taking in soft hush tones in instances where you felt overwhelmed by everything.

Holding hands/tracing your palm to bring your focus onto one thing.

Slinging his arm over your shoulder to make you aware of his close proximity.

or just staying incredibly close to you so that you’d feel his presence nearby and be reminded that you weren’t alone and would never be alone knowing that he was always in your corner. No matter what; He’s loyal like that.

Anything and everything he did was to ease the stress upon your shoulders and make you focus on him rather than the thing that was causing you such internal distress. He doesn’t want you to face anything unsavoury alone and will do anything and everything to prove that with him nearby, everything was going to be okay and that you didn’t need to hurt yourself to feel or act normal in everyday circumstances.

His response to anyone who asked why he was with you, he’d always responded with;

‘They shine. Not brightly, not loudly and whilst you might not see it at first but they do indeed shine in a softer way, as though they were cast within a watercolour painting. They smile soft, laugh quietly and keep to themselves but to me, y/n couldn’t be shinning more brighter in those tender, slower moments and that’s what makes them so unique and enticing that I couldn’t stop loving them even if I tried.’

You defiantly overheard this once by pure coincidence and have never forgotten as a smile was permanently stuck on your lips for the rest of the day.

Quality time in the Hades cabin! Luke often jokes about how gothic and borderline vampiric it felt and one day you replied with;

‘It’s like living in Dracula’s expensively furnished dungeon more so than a windowless cabin meant for the children of Hades.’ Needless to say that Luke loved the moments where he could see you act like your truest self, even if it was within the confines of your cabin, but Luke was more then willing to take what he could get. He thrived off of being quite possibly being the only person in camp who got the honour is seeing you speak above a mutter and see you making dry jokes about your fellow campers.

He loved seeing the you he always knew was there for he only ever saw you for you and never the ever so feared child of Hades. He knows how much you hate the stigmatism that came with such a burden but that didn’t meant you weren’t any less proud of who you were and your god given talents.

Talking about talents, your one talent didn’t derive from your godly father and more so from copious amounts of practice and dedication to the craft of art and its multiple forms and styles.

Luke discovered this hidden talent of yours by mistake but upon seeing the level of detail you put into each art piece along with your seemingly effortless ability to execute beautiful pieces no matter what your style of choice was; which was proven especially true when he first looked upon a landscape drawing of the strawberry fields, made entirely in charcoal.

‘It’s not that great.’ You said once.

‘Not that great?! Babe!’ Luke exclaimed as he took in how you added the Satyrs and their reed pipes alongside the children of Demeter using their magic in making the strawberries grow. It was so detailed that Luke thought he was looking out of a window and out onto the very same strawberry fields. You even went as far as to capture the gleaming lake and the canoes skimming across its surface, even adding a group of Naiads weaving their wicker baskets in harmony. Hell you even managed to draw in the Big House for fucks sake!

‘This is fantastic! You’re so talented sweetheart!’ Luke praised as he swamped you in kisses all across your face, hands and wherever else he could, causing you to smile dopey as you melted into your boyfriend’s never ending affection.

‘Do you have anymore that I can see?’ He asked, not wanting to pressure you into letting him see more of your art if you weren’t comfortable with it, but instead you beamed and left to grab several sketchbooks that were filled to the brim with your other sketches dating back before your arrival to camp, which meant Luke seeing endless amount of the sketches you had of him participating in activities.

Luke saw this and immeditly resorted to teasing you as he nudged your side. ‘I must be quite the muse if I make up half of your sketchbook. Or someone has a crush on me.’ He practically sang as you smack his arm lightly.

‘Pack it in, we’re already dating.’

‘Still I think it’s cute that I had such an effect on you because at least I can rest easy knowing that our liking towards the other was always mutual.’ Luke replied, pressing a kiss to your head as he brought you closer as you both looked over your other sketches of camp and its inhabitants.

He might ask to keep a few sketches that he could look at whenever he needed something to feel closer to you. Or to look at before going to sleep in his cabin at night.

He might try to get you to each him how to draw but whether or not he’s good at it is up for debate.

However creating art together makes for phenomenal date nights.

All in all, Luke is just proving himself to being a caring, sweet and charming boyfriend who will always be in your corner.

[hpowellsmith]

Happy birthday, Royal Affairs!

It's been a year since Royal Affairs came out and I've been over the moon about how it's been received. It's meant that I've been able to write full-time, make Honor Bound as rich and detailed at high speed, and do a lot of physical and mental health recovery after various periods of burnout. I'm really grateful for everyone's support, here and elsewhere, and it really makes a huge difference.

I had so much fun returning to the characters after a while away for the epilogue - if you enjoyed the game at release and haven't replayed for the epilogue, I very much recommend giving it a go!

After beta testing, I wrote up a retrospective about what came up and how I organised my work. I thought I'd share it for some insight into my process, for players and authors. Here it is:

In Crème de la Crème I ended up adding large branches to the plot during beta, but I was fortunate not to have to do it this time around. Mostly it was building on what was there or bringing certain things to the forefront, or adding a few different ways of navigating situations.

As feedback came in, I was lucky enough to have so much that it became unwieldy to act on it in one go, so I made a priority list.

Highest priority was game breaking bugs or large continuity problems like Dominique's final game scene switching to Beaumont's.

High priority was smaller continuity bugs like the game confusing who you were romancing or whether you had or hadn't done a particular action earlier.

Medium priority was things like small scene additions or multi romance responses, or tweaking first impressions of characters, and so on.

Low priority was nice-to-haves like allowing a character to be romanced only late on.

Alongside this, I fixed typos and made small adjustments - easy wins that added polished. There were also some major sweeps that I did: a stat test clarity sweep, a stat change sweep, a reduction of tests in casual conversations, and repetitive words or phrases.

Stat test clarity:

I picked 3-4 stat tests at random from each chapter, copied their text into a separate document, and highlighted words that reflected the stats. For example: for Authoritative I had things like "I order them to..." "I tell them what to do", "I stay aloof to maintain my authority..." and so on. I edited testing choices to include these keywords, and also edited the stat guide to include them.

Checking all this had the side effect of helping me spot unnecessary tests or points where the stat being tested just didn't match the situation at hand.

Stat changes:

There are a lot of points where stats can change, and not all of them made sense at the start of beta. I did variations of this sweep several times, including the Action Skills, NPC stats, and adding a lot more chances to boost your Powers of Persuasion. Again doing this check helped me spot unnecessary or unintuitive tests and changes.

Tests in casual conversations:

This was again something that I iterated several times. Some of the commentary about Crème de la Crème said that the stat tests felt punishing or too difficult, and an early playtest from my wife flagged that some of the tests in Royal Affairs felt unfair. Why should a character's relationship reduce when you're trying to be affectionate, if the circumstances aren't in a state where that makes sense?

So I stripped out a lot of this, generally replacing a success/failure with flavour text (such as a Subtle MC perhaps being, well, more subtle about holding hands with someone). In some cases, where a character needs to be drawn out of themselves to talk more emotionally (Beaumont or Hyacinthe, on occasion), or they see the conversation as a contest or challenge in some way (mostly Javi or Trevelyan), I left them in. But I liked that they were a rarity rather than default.

Repetitive words or phrases

As I was writing, sometimes I noticed that I was overusing phrases, so if I got that feeling I would make a note for the sweep. In the end there wasn't as much as that as I thought, but there were a lot of qualifier-type words that reduce the impact of a sentence - "a little" was one, or "really", usually in dialogue - or filler words like "down" in sentences like "you sit down beside them".

I also looked for phrases like "you know" or "you suspect" to spot places where I could express whatever it was that the MC knows more elegantly (this is something a former colleague told me once and I've never forgotten it!)

More involved edits

With some major things that I did change, I'd put them on my to-do list before beta but they were either unwieldy and I wanted to start testing sooner rather than later, or I wanted to check whether other people agreed. It was great to have more opinions and mostly they confirmed what I'd thought. With others, I studied the feedback to gauge whether the effort of making the changes would be worth the payoff. In most cases, I decided to go for it.

In general, this stage involved adding things, including:

more worldbuilding details to give more context to the plot

more teacher interactions throughout; added scenes as well as offhand references to other classes; more about Clemence and Vere and expanded outcomes to their storyline

romanceable characters responding to players romancing other people: in the moment, checking in about where your relationship was at, and a set of final breakup conversations if it was left until the very last minute (this was a very big undertaking and would have been better to do earlier - a lesson I've taken to Honor Bound)

lengthening the main suffrage debate

adding slow-paced romance dynamics for two characters (I was really keen to do this but was disciplined about making it low priority - it was a lovely idea and I knew I'd enjoy doing it, but it was very much a nice-to-have compared to other things. I was delighted to be able to do it!)

more communal scenes with classmates to give more of a sense of living in each other's pockets

adding an option to confide in Asher about a particular plot point and for them to assist with it if wanted (I was so happy about adding this: it's one of my favourite Asher moments, even if few people see it!)

tweaking some of the friendship/romance conversations to add more emotional chat (mostly this applied to Javi and Hyacinthe; there was a bit added to Asher and Dominique at Verdancy)

more pet time

more narrative and conversational responsiveness about whether an imperilled character was romanced

more Javi asexuality chat

more detailed outfit descriptions throughout with more choices about what to wear

generally expanding some scenes to give more breathing room to important moments

In the end I added 45000 words to the game during beta testing, thanks to feedback from editor review, continuity testing, and copyediting. Testing took place during late December 2022 and January 2023, and I massively appreciate everyone who contributed to make this big game as polished as it is!

-

[rhaenella]

You & Me - Rhys Montrose x Reader - Part 22

Part 21 | Masterlist

Summary: What happens when reader assassin is tasked with killing the possible future mayor of London; Rhys Montrose. Politician by day, Eat the Rich Killer by night. But he isn’t the only person wearing different masks. 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Violence, murder, immoral sociopathic behaviour, mentions of alcoholism, drug abuse and neglect, smut

Word count: 4.7k

A/N: another Rhys pov! (to make up for the long hiatus lolol) Enjoy <3

Song: And so It Begins – Klergy 

“The disappearance of Tom Lockwood, sir.”

Bloody hell.

Even in death, the bastard managed to find a way to disrupt Rhys’ life and well-crafted plans one way or another. 

He felt a surge of adrenaline, but whereas most other people would succumb to the nerves, start sweating and rambling, make mistakes. Rhys didn’t. Instead, it only sharpened his focus, making him that much more dangerous. 

The reporter had used the word disappearance, meaning Lockwood’s body hadn’t been found, meaning there was no physical evidence that could potentially link him to the crime, which ultimately meant that he was in the clear. At least for now. If he played it right, perhaps Rhys could even turn this little hiccup into a story that would reflect him positively in the press.

The mob of journalists and cameramen were waiting with baited breath for him to comment, silence befalling the crowd once more. The only sounds that could be heard were that of the bustling city around them—the honking of a double-decker bus, London’s never-ending construction noises, and the screeching of a police siren a mere two blocks away. 

Rhys allowed a mixture of emotions to pass over his features. Initial shock—which hadn’t involved much acting—followed by a hint of grieving sadness, before he settled on a more calm, compassionate look. Because, like any good psychopath who studied the intricacies of human emotion, Rhys knew that that’s what the public needed to see in a leading figure. Someone who showed the appropriate level of feelings and compassion, but ultimately was able to offer reassurance and take action if need be. 

“Mr. Lockwood…” Rhys shook his head, unfolding his clasped hands to convey a subliminal message of openness and sympathy. “I must say that I am deeply shocked by this news. Is there any more information regarding his disappearance?”

“News surfaced after an anonymous tip was made to The London Dispatch, a spokesperson for the T.R. Lockwood Corporation has just released a statement that they are and have been aware of the circumstances and are working on an internal investigation, the Met Police have also just reported they are launching their own investigation,” the same reporter summarised, reading off of his phone. “Any thoughts on what could have happened, Mr. Montrose?”

Any thoughts… Oh, he had plenty, alright. 

An anonymous tip. To The London Dispatch. That could only be from one man: Jonathan. 

Did he seriously have the balls to go to the press, knowing full well that Lockwood’s disappearance could be traced back to him? Rhys hadn’t thought he would raise the alarm after revealing that detail to him, but it seemed Jonathan was keen to call his bluff.

On the upside, Lockwood’s employees had tried to keep the whole thing under wraps, just like you and Rhys had predicted. But now that it had come out, the peace and quiet would come to an end, especially with the police’s involvement as well.

“I could not say at this time, I’m afraid,” Rhys stated, schooling his actual thoughts. “I think, as of now, the best course of action is to allow all parties involved to conduct their investigations without adding unnecessary speculation that could potentially hinder their job.”

That prompted an immediate response from the crowd.

“You don’t think Lockwood’s partners should’ve been upfront about their CEO going missing?”

“Lockwood was last spotted in Prague–”

“Hasn't his staff already been hindering the police?”

“–over two weeks ago, what are the chances that–”

“Considering these suspicious circumstances–”

“–could this be another murder?”

“I understand,” Rhys interrupted, raising his hands in an attempt to quiet the masses. “I understand the demand for answers. I do. But we have to let them do their jobs. The Met Police will get to the bottom of this and find Mr. Lockwood, I have every faith.”

Lukas stepped up to the press then, drawing their attention with a wave of his hand. “That will be all for today, everyone. Please, step aside to let Mr. Montrose pass.”

They did so begrudgingly, some ignoring his campaign manager as they kept shouting questions left and right. Rhys walked past them, thanking them for their time. His head of security met him halfway, guiding him the last couple of metres to the car.

“Where’s Y/N?” Rhys asked.

“She’s waiting in the car, sir,” Reggie answered.

“Mr. Montrose!”

“One final question, please!”

Rhys easily picked up on the thinly veiled exasperation in Lukas’ voice as he tried to reason with The Telegraph. “No can do, sir. Mr. Montrose is already late for his next commitment. If you have any follow-up questions, please feel free to send them to our office.”

But the seasoned reporter wouldn’t just let it go, following Rhys all the way to the kerb.

“Mr. Montrose! What about his family?”

Reggie had already opened the passenger door, but Rhys paused, turning back around. He had to give it to the guy, no politician in their right mind could ignore that type of question.

He wetted his lips, a mournful smile flickering across his face. “Ofcourse, I give my deepest sympathies to Mr. Lockwood’s family during these uncertain times. I hope he will soon return in good health, and be reunited with his loved ones.”

Rhys dipped his head, pouring all the sympathy he did not actually feel into a final smile before he slid into the back of the car, where he was greeted by you, sending him an amused but troubled look. 

Reggie shut the door as Rhys leaned forward to speak to the driver. “Take us back to Primrose.”

“Yes, sir,” the driver nodded. “We might hit some traffic, though. There’s been an accident on Holborn and City Road.”

“That’s alright. Nothing we can do about it. Get us there as quickly as you’re able.”

“Straight away, sir.”

Rhys raised the soundproof, glass divider between the front and back of the car, giving you the privacy to talk about all that had just transpired without the driver being able to eavesdrop. 

You turned to face each other as the car pulled into the stream of ongoing traffic.

“So. Deepest sympathies, huh?”

“Why yes, ofcourse, darling,” he grinned.

You snorted. “Liar.”

He was about to retort when his phone started ringing. Rhys checked the caller ID, and sighed. “Excuse me, this won’t take long,” he said, accepting the call. 

“I don’t want to hear a word about Cynthia, Luke,” Rhys announced, wanting to move past his indisputable error in judgement quickly. “Go back to the office, coordinate from there. We need to get an official written statement out ASAP, one that is based on all the facts known at present.”

“Agreed, sir. I’ll fetch Brian to–”

“No. No, have Sam write it, she’ll need the experience. Just make sure to double check it before you post it online.”

“You don’t want to read it yourself? Are you not coming to the office?”

“No, I’ll meet you there later. There’s another pressing matter that requires my attention first. I trust you to handle the situation while I’m out.”

“Yes, Mr. Montrose.”

Rhys ended the call and pocketed his phone before resting his head against the headrest. What a day this was turning out to be. And it wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot. 

He must have involuntarily let out another sigh, for he felt the softness of your touch, your slender fingers wrapping around his hand. 

“How is that patience of yours doing?”

“I won’t lie, it’s hanging by a thread.”

“Figures,” you smiled, squeezing his hand.

Your smile was quickly overshadowed by that same troubling look from before, one which you didn’t have to hide anymore.

“That anonymous tip… it must be–”

“Jonathan? Yes, I think so, too,” Rhys finished. “Unless you called The London Dispatch and failed to inform me of a new tactical move.”

You shook your head no as the car slowed to a stop, now officially stuck in the busy rerouted traffic. “Nope, it definitely wasn’t me,” you said, looking out the window to catch a glimpse of St. Paul’s looming presence.

It was a cloudy day, ten a penny for London, even during the summer time. The storm front may have passed, but the uncertainty of what was coming still lingered in the air.

“Whilst you were giving your statement to the press, I kept thinking, why?” You looked back to Rhys. “Why would Jonathan do this now? He knows that we put the account that was used to bribe the pilots in his name. That was supposed to keep him quiet, at least for a little while longer. So, what’s his angle?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, the same question dominating his thoughts. “Jonathan’s calculated. But also rash, and unpredictable, as today has clearly demonstrated… We need to act quickly before he goes from being a liability to a full-blown threat.”

You chewed your lip. “You know who else can become a threat?”

His eyes flickered between yours, trying to find an answer there as he mentally went down the long list of possible enemies he made along the way. The ones that were still able to draw breath, that is. 

Only one name came to mind.

“Marcus Atkinson.”

The man who conspired with Lockwood to have Rhys removed from the upcoming elections, by categorically trying to erase him from the face of the earth. 

“Atkinson,” you agreed. “So far, he’s been quiet, but there’s no telling what he’ll do now that the news of Lockwood’s disappearance has been made public.”

Rhys hummed, affirmative. “You’re right. We need to prepare for every possibility.”

“Is that why we’re going home?”

“No,” he said, a little reluctant. 

You frowned, not following. “Then why did you tell the driver to take us back to Primrose Hill?”

He sighed. “Because you’re going home, whilst I go and pay dear old Jonathan a visit.”

You paused, slowly letting go of his hand as the meaning of his words landed.

“You’re what?”

“You heard me.”

Rhys set his jaw, his decision already made and final, but that didn’t stop you from glaring at him.

“And you’re sidelining me because…?”

He looked away, something flicking over his expression. “It’s the only way I know how to keep you safe.”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed. “What about me and what I do for a living gives you the impression that you need to keep me safe?”

Rhys winced. He’d anticipated this reaction from you. But there was no way in hell he would allow you and Jonathan in the same room ever again. It wasn’t that he didn’t think you could fend for yourself, because, as more than one occasion had attested, you certainly knew how to throw a punch or two. And make it hurt. He himself was privy to the knowledge. 

However, he didn’t trust Jonathan and what he would do… Especially now. Besides, as far as Rhys could tell, Jonathan still didn’t know anything about your true identity. And he’d very much liked to keep it that way. 

“He’s a psychopath, Y/N,” Rhys stressed. 

“Right,” you drawled. “Do you want me to look up the exact definition? Because I’m pretty sure it would also include present company.”

He smiled, bitter. “I’m not planning on hurting you. Jonathan might. You know the things he was mixed up in across the pond. If he figures out how important you are to me…”

His forehead creased with genuine concern, and even in your anger, your eyes softened a little at the admission.

“I know you can take care of yourself,” he amended. “But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I want to keep you as far away from him as I possibly can.”

You nodded thoughtfully, still far from happy with his decision. But Rhys wasn’t going to change his mind, and you knew it as well.

Once again, the sound of a phone pinging interrupted your conversation. Privately, Rhys hoped it would put an end to it as well, although you quickly relieved him of that illusion. “We’re not done talking about this.”

“A man can hope,” he muttered.

You shot him a warning look as you retrieved your phone, effectively making him shut up.

He looked around, noticing they were still motionless. No. That wasn’t right. They had moved about three car lengths in the last five minutes. Progress, he thought, clocking his inner voice’s sarcasm with a wry smile. At least the extended travel time would give him a little more time to prepare for his surprise attack on Jonathan. Although, that twat was likely already waiting for Rhys to show up after the shit he pulled earlier today… 

Rhys gritted his teeth as he thought of Jonathan. How he must have watched the press interview live on tele, probably thinking he’d won this game… Well, Rhys would make damn sure that his victory would be short lived. 

A startled noise came from your side of the car, and his eyes shot back to you, jerking him from those thoughts. 

Your wide eyes were scanning whatever message had appeared on your phone’s screen, four times over, as if making sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you. A wave of worry careened through him as he watched the colour drain from your face.

“Y/N?” he said, alarmed.

“Oh my god…”

Frantically tapping the screen, you brought the phone closer to your face. “Oh my god.”

Before Rhys even got a chance to ask what the hell was going on, you’d already pressed the device to your ear, fingers now tapping restlessly against the car’s interior door.

“Y/N,” he said, firmer this time, clasping your hand in his. You looked at him, panicked, uncertain… terrified. Rhys felt his own stomach drop. “What happened?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out.

The call went straight to voicemail, and you groaned in frustration. “Damnit, she’s not answering her phone.”

“Is it Zoe? Sadie?” Rhys tried, concern slipping into his voice. 

He softly squeezed your hand to garner your attention. It worked. You refocused on him, visibly swallowing a tang of adrenaline before shoving your phone into his hands. Rhys read the ID: Zoe. He was right—there were only so many people that could pull this type of reaction from you. He could probably count them on one hand.

His eyes slid down to read the most recent incoming texts, and he sucked in a breath, immediately understanding your nervousness.

>>> mum’s back

>>> please come

Your mother… 

Alarm bells went off inside of him, his concern slowly getting replaced by something sharper, harder. 

You’d both known the day would come, yet the words on the screen still shocked him to silence, the only thing he could muster a feeble, “Fuck…”

“Yeah…”

Rhys closed his eyes. Another person who had completely disappeared—albeit not by your doing—resurfacing. It had been quite the mystery as to what had happened to her, and you had spent many a night trying to figure out where she could have possibly gone. Without much success. But now she had seemingly returned.

The timing could also not have been better. Apparently Murphy’s Law always lurked around the corner somewhere.

“Where did she come from all of a sudden?”

“From hell, likely.”

He huffed a strained laugh. That was certainly one possibility. Rhys met your gaze, then. The initial shock had lifted, and now the fire he’d grown to love glowed bright in your eyes.

“I’ll kill her,” you whispered, unyielding. “I swear to god, if she’s hurt them… I will kill her.”

You snatched your phone from his hands, your thumbs flying over the keyboard as you typed out a series of messages in quick succession.

“Hey,” Rhys said, pitching his voice into a soothing range. “They’re gonna be okay. Just like their big sister, they can fend for themselves.”

“I know they can,” you said, still holding your phone in an iron grip. “But after what happened last time, I can’t help but worry.”

He couldn’t stop himself. “I know the feeling...”

You dropped your phone, turning to him with a look that made it abundantly clear that now was not the time to test you. 

“Rhys,” you warned.

“Sorry…” he muttered, squeezing your hand again. “How do you wanna tackle this?”

“I’m going over there.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. Right now. I have to make sure they’re okay. Besides, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” you shot back, eyes narrowing.

Rhys pursed his lips. Yep. He deserved that.

You looked outside to find that you were, still, stuck near St. Paul’s. And it didn’t look like that was going to change anytime soon. Sighing, you clasped the door handle, but before you could sprint out, Rhys tugged you back to him.

“Whoa, wait a second,” he said, worry seeping back into his voice. He didn’t want to part like this. “Are you sure you want to do this by yourself? I can help.”

You looked at him evenly. “This can’t wait. And neither can the Jonathan situation.” 

Damnit. 

No, it couldn’t.

“I’ll take care of my mother while you take care of our professor,” you offered, running your thumb over his hand in an attempt to persuade him. However the grim look on your face wasn’t helping.

He held your gaze for a long moment, equally grim, before nodding once. There was no other way. 

“Be careful, and call me when you need me,” Rhys implored, already cursing himself for agreeing to this plan. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” you said, purposeful, determined.

And with that, you were off, shutting the car door with force. 

Rhys watched you go, worry now mixing with guilt. By trying to protect you from one situation, he was now the sole reason you were diving head-first into unknown danger all by yourself.

Although, you would have gone either way. No matter the circumstances. You were just like him in that respect. Once you’d made up your mind, there was nothing anyone could do to dissuade you. Rhys had to let you go. Leaving you the space to deal with problems the way you saw fit. He didn’t like it, but if he wanted to keep you by his side, there was no other choice. 

As far as he was aware, your mother wasn’t a cold-blooded killer. But even so, she’d come pretty close to manslaughter with the Hackney house fire. Rhys also knew for a fact that you hadn’t yet told him about all of the harrowing things you’d endured during your childhood. Some details, yes. But definitely not all. He hadn’t wanted to push you too hard, you would tell him when you were ready. Just like with everything else. 

Rhys shook himself. Dwelling on this wasn’t going to do him much good either. He had his own headache to deal with. After that, he would work to make things right with you.

He pressed a button, lowering the glass divider. “Change of plans. I need you to take me to South Kensington.”

—

An hour later, after trudging through London’s busy traffic, the car parked in front of Kynance Mews. The driver hastened to open his door, and Rhys slid out, glancing left and right. 

“Give me twenty minutes,” he said, adjusting his suit.

“Yes, sir.”

The ride over had given him plenty of time to consider his options, which in the end boiled down to two simple objectives: kill Jonathan, or not. 

As tempting as the first option was, Rhys had to accept that it wasn’t the most prudent one. Now that Lockwood’s disappearance had become a public affair, and the police were conducting their own investigation, there would be a lot of heat bearing down on the case. Sooner or later, the police would find out about the bribe money, and once they’d successfully trace the money and start making connections, ‘Professor Jonathan Moore’ would be the subject of a lot of scrutiny. 

Like with Atkinson, the risk would be too great. If either of those two were killed right now, people would surely start asking questions. Questions Rhys didn’t want to be asked. 

Therefore, with a tinge of annoyance, he opted that the best course of action was to keep the professor alive a little longer. 

However, Jonathan couldn’t continue on like this. He had to be reined in—reminded of who was in control here. Good thing Rhys had one more trick up his sleeve, and now was the time to use it.

He made his way inside the building, taking the stairs two at a time, determination edged in his pace. Once he made it to number ten, he lifted his fist, landing a series of powerful knocks on Jonathan’s front door. He didn’t have to wait long before it swung open. 

Rhys bursted into the flat, the door nearly hitting Jonathan in the face. 

“You’ve been busy, mate.”

Jonathan recovered quickly. “So have you.”

His dark eyes tracked Rhys as he strode around the flat, making sure there were no unwanted third parties present. Once he made sure there wasn’t, he stopped in front of Jonathan, meeting his gaze.

Rhys took a breath and nodded. “Tell me about it. It’s hard work, winning these elections—making sure all possible threats are dealt with accordingly.”

Jonathan looked him up and down, measured. “Is that why you’re here?”

“Among other things... I was starting to miss our fun little chats.”

“I wasn’t,” the professor sneered.

“Oh, pray tell,” Rhys said, light.

Jonathan appeared calm, but the tightness around his eyes told Rhys all he needed to know. A single, disdainful head-tilt cinched it.

So, this would be fun.

“You’re a cold-blooded psycho.” 

His mouth twitched. “Ah, one that needs to be taken down? Is that why you tipped the press?” 

“I’m done with your bullshit and your fucking mindgames,” he hissed. “And I’m not going down for your sins whilst you become mayor of this godforsaken town.”

“And yet here you are,” Rhys snickered, waving a hand at him. “Digging your own grave. Or did you forget that Joe Goldberg helped cover-up Lockwood’s murder?”

“I’ll tell them the truth about you,” Jonathan promised. “You’re not getting away with this.”

“And who do you think they’ll believe?” Rhys returned, tilting his head, a challenge. “A suspected murderer who faked his own death, or the man that’s working tirelessly to strengthen their police force—making sure their kids will have access to a higher education, someone who’s battling corruption and fighting for what’s right. You tell me.”

Jonathan shook his head. “No… No, you will go down for your crimes.”

Rhys couldn’t help but laugh. “And what crimes are those? Do you have any proof? Or will this be another case of your word against mine?” he taunted, stepping up to the fuming American.

Jonathan stood rigid, frowning in contemplation. He took a moment to mull over whatever thoughts held him before he looked at Rhys askance. 

“There has to be proof. People always seem to mysteriously disappear or die around you. Like last night.”

Rhys remained entirely unfazed. “That Fernsby bloke, you mean? Well, if you’d listened to the news, you would know he died of natural causes. Very unfortunate but it happens,” he said, inscrutable, picking a piece of lint off of his suit. “Besides, I have an alibi.”

“Of course you do,” Jonathan mumbled, more to himself. “Your girlfriend?”

Anger simmered under Rhys’ cool facade at the mention. But he couldn’t let Jonathan see it. 

“She serves many purposes,” he smirked, lewd.

Jonathan’s face twisted in disgust. “You’re using her.”

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “It’s all she’s good for anyway. A pretty face for the cameras, and an excellent shag at night.”

Jonathan looked away, uncomfortable despite his own nature. He took a beat, his eyes locked in an endless stare, seeing seemingly nothing. Then he blinked, once, and looked up to Rhys again. 

Something in his eyes had changed. Like he’d made up his mind about something. Rhys couldn’t tell what it was, but it didn’t sit well with him, at all. That much was clear.

His smile faded, it was time to get down to business.

“Alright,” he exclaimed, delightfully startling Jonathan in the process. “Enough chit-chat. I think it’s about time I remind you of a few things…”

Jonathan stiffened, but didn’t respond. Rhys sauntered over to the window, the one providing a perfect view into the flat of one Miss Kate Galvin. The flat was dark, and it didn’t look like anyone was home.

“Do you know where she is?” Rhys asked, peering through the window.

He didn’t need to specify who he was referring to. Not to a seasoned stalker like him.

“At work,” Jonathan said, clipped. 

Rhys glanced back over his shoulder, clocking Jonathan still standing in the exact same spot, shooting daggers at his back. Rhys’ lips curled. 

“Remember this feeling, Jonathan,” he said as he zeroed in on the fireplace, bending to pick up the fire iron. “Remember how it feels to know where she is. To know she’s safe…”

He twisted the metal object leisurely, feeling the weight of it in his palms. “But above all, remember how I can take all of that away, in the blink of an eye.”

If possible, Jonathan stiffened even more, nails digging into his palms as he clenched his fists. 

Rhys’ eyes sparked with amusement. Jonathan hadn’t wanted to play any more of his ‘mindgames’, but unfortunately for the professor, he was only just getting started.

“Now, we wouldn’t want her to meet the same fate as her father, would we?” Rhys mused, using the metal tool to prod at some charcoal remains. “Because speaking of unfortunate things, I’d say that would definitely qualify as such.”

Jonathan glared at him, not even attempting to cover the hatred he felt for the man daring to enter his home like he owned the place—and threaten him, his girlfriend, and everything he had tried to rebuild for himself. 

“Stay away from her,” he said, voice as cold as ice.

“Come now, Jonathan. There’s no need to get snippy,” Rhys tutted, eyes flicking to him. “You and I both know that whatever happens to her, it’s entirely up to you.”

The sound of metal scraping against the fireplace's stone surface caught Jonathan’s attention, his eyes flying to where Rhys was still playing around with the rod. He relished the look on Jonathan’s face, a sweet mixture of trepidation and rage. It meant he was listening carefully. 

“Fun fact about fire,” Rhys went on, off-kilter. “Which, correct me if I’m wrong, I believe you may be familiar with,” he added jokingly, stabbing at a larger fragment of unburned wood. 

“Nothing ever truly vanishes. There’s always something that remains. And what’s so amusing about this fact is that you never know which pieces are left behind… or when they might resurface.”

This was it. The last card Rhys could play to keep Jonathan silent—short from killing him, ofcourse. 

To threaten him to complete the framejob by planting Lockwood’s other hand that you and Rhys had kept as a backup, and call in the cavalry. Physical evidence tying Jonathan to the crime, in combination with the paper trail already set up in his name, would ensure Jonathan’s arrest and indictment. And he knew it.

Jonathan swallowed. “Lockwood?”

Rhys walked up to him, eyeing him steadily. “You better stick to our first agreement, and keep quiet,” he warned, tapping the fire iron against Jonathan’s chest. “Otherwise, I’ll make sure you’re going down for all of it.”

Defeat flashed over Jonathan’s face. He was still angry, no, livid would be the better term… But the growing apprehension and doubt was unmistakable.

Satisfied that his message was received loud and clear, Rhys dropped the metal rod to the floor. The loud clang of the object hitting the wooden floor caused Jonathan to flinch back, much to Rhys’ pleasure.

He turned his back on the American, gleefully making his way towards the front door where he paused, resting one hand on the handle, the corner of his mouth lifting.

“It’s all about who holds the power, mate,” Rhys smirked, looking back to Jonathan, whose jaw was clenched tight. “And at present, that isn’t you.”

–––– 

A/N: FINALLY a Joe and Rhys meet… I know it’s been a long time coming 🙈 I had a lot of fun writing this particular scene, I hope you enjoyed it as well. Now let’s see if Jonathan will heed Rhys’ warning or… not. hehe

––

Tags: @artaxerxesthegreat

[multifandomgrabage]

Random and non cohesive HB thoughts, particularly season 2:

I don’t condone or support Stella’s actions, but I am very disappointed in how she is written. Im fine with her being a villain, and I’ll even let a lack of a backstory slide! My main issues with Stella are:

A) Being 1 dimensional. Please, give her traits outside of “bitch” and “angry at Stolas”. The majority of the fan base already is (somehow) in support of Stolitz, you don’t need another prop to keep your ship going. (subpoint to a): Also, not a fan of the “wife finds out that her husband is queer” trope, but whatever, she is a villain. Its pretty fucking basic though.

B) Her lines. My fucking gosh, her lines are so fucking flat and weightless. You’d think that something an abuser says would stick and sound intimidating, but no. We get “I LiKe ToRmEnTiNg YoU”. For fucks sake, what was that?! As someone who grew up with an abusive mother, I can confidently say that no one will say that. Its like they didnt respect their ADULT audience enough to figure things out and felt they had to have a giant ass neon sign screaming

“LOOK HERE, THIS IS ABUSIVE, SHE SAID SHE LIKES HURTING HIM! A-B-U-S-E! NOW GO AND FORGET ABOUT ANY TERRIBLY TOXIC THINGS STOLAS OR BLITZO HAVE DONE”

Clearly the show is meant for adult audiences. We don’t need to be told what is and isn’t abuse. Why not do a little something called “show vs tell”? Some alright examples they have previously done are the portraits usually having just Stolas and Octavia, or a pissed Stella. Or seeing how she threw a fucking imp butler across the room.

I got a bit off topic, but here are some ways id probably write her:

A narcissist. To the outside world, she is friendly Stella, who just likes to party and smile. She has a perfect family, and everyone loves her. But under the surface, in order to feel superior she puts Stolas down constantly, through verbal abuse and perhaps some physical. Her love for Octavia is conditional, she is only pleased as long as everyone is doing everything to her command. All this possibly stems from an inferiority complex that she desperately covers through a high ego, false confidence and making sure others feel lesser to her.

Some possible lines?:

“You are nothing without me. You think you can make it on your own without me? You cant even take care of Octavia, what makes you think you can handle yourself”

“You would choose a lowly imp over me? I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from someone as low as you”

“You don’t even deserve to have me, consider yourself lucky that I am willing to stay”

“You look so damn stupid like that, singing in your self pity. Had you stuck with me, you wouldn’t have been in that position.” That or someone else mentioned Blitzo and Stella being childhood friends, her being arranged with Stolas, and then having the cheating incident

whoever had that idea is a genius.

C: Why is her design so damn good? I love fancy pigeons and they made her a fancy pigeon. (this isn’t a complaint but a thought)

Moving on from Stella, lets get to S2 E2…

I was so excited to have an episode where it wasn’t the Stolitz shipping show. I got my hopes too high. The one positive thing Ill say is that I enjoyed the adoption flashback. Maybe I read too much into it but it feels kind of like a commentary in how shitty the adoption system is, especially to teenagers. Any kid really, as they’re treated like literal dogs, and then kicked out on the street.

Back to me complaining about shit:

For one, why did we spend so much fucking tome in that stupid ass sitcom? If Stolas is such a caring dad, shouldn’t he just leave and look for Octavia? So much character growth could have happened in that time.

I know that Loona didn’t just tell Octavia to just deal with her dad neglecting her just because “he’s trying”. Its HIS responsibility as a parent to take care of his kid, and Octavia has every right to be upset st him and her circumstances. Her parents have been unstable, but after a divorce, even more so. Her dad has straight up ignored her, in favor of arguing with Stella. She did nothing wrong and has nothing to apologize for. I got so excited when Stolas started to apologize, but then Octavia apologized.

Did I mention that there was 4 minutes of Octavia and Loona together at most? Despite the thumbnail? Yeah, that blowed.

Honestly the only reason I keep up anymore is because of the animation and the weak dying hope that it’ll get better.

thats all ig, please don’t be rude in the comments. You can disagree but keep it civil. Going to bed now, bye

EDIT: So Imma randomly add a brainbarf of thoughts here too, because I do not feel like organizing shit. My brain's thoughts just expand everywhere, so bare with me.

Another reason why Stella's abuse doesn't really land is because Stolas just... doesn't seem afraid of her at all? For someone who claims to love tormenting someone, she sure is doing a shitty job at it. The way that Stolas would just have the balls (or cloaca ig) to keep going out using Blitz, worry free despite his wife doesn't give the vibes of "Victim of Domestic violence, verbal and physical abuse" to me.

To continue on why her abuse doesn't land, it has to do with the nature of this show and how it portrays stuff. It gets very confusing. Loona assaulting Blitz, Blitz and Asmodeus (on separate occasions) touching Moxie's groin area (without consent) and Multiple characters using slurs against Moxie is supposedly "funny".

Personally I don't find it humorous, but I do get somewhat jaded and desensitized to stuff like that happening. Not to say that it's acceptable behavior, but you do kind of get used to it and take it a little less seriously in the context. In S1E2 Stella is seen screaming and throwing shit around. This *can* be seen as portrayal of abuse, but given that many characters do similar shit it can also be seen as another unfunny attempt at humor.

Fast forward to season 2, if you've lasted that long you should expect some edgy shit like that to be written in a way that tries to excuse it. But all of a sudden, we get "Actually, abuse is bad. Feel bad for Stolas because he is abused by his wife. Yeah, we constantly make our characters do abusive things too, but it's funny when they do it, just ignore it and feel bad for Sad Gay Owl Man."

What? The fuck? Is the deal with powers, especially human disguises? Initially I thought that maybe only Succubi and Incubi, as well has hellhounds had the power because some hellborns are more powerful than others. How would that work if Hellhounds are below Imps in the hierarchy though? By that logic, shouldn't Imps also get that power? So that idea doesn't work. I don't fucking know why or how any of this works. Theres no storybuilding or explanation for it. For something that appears so often, I think there should be. The purpose of a human disguise is to blend in among the human world, so I can see Succubi/Incubi having that power because I'd assume they're some of the only demons allowed to go to the human world. I wouldn't know why a hellhound would come to Earth, but I guess they just have the power too?

Speaking of rules about demons on Earth that weren't explained!

Stolas is able to summon himself in some big scary owl demon form without his book ANYWHERE near him in "Truth Seekers". Yet in S2E2 he can only conjure up a poorly designed human form because now his powers are attached to the book? HUH?! Where is the consistency?

Also, given that IMP is big enough to get a commercial, how have they not gotten in trouble for breaking what I assume is one of hell's only rules? We know that they aren't supposed to be there, and yet this seems to have no consequence? Having them have to try and fly below the radar in hell would raise stakes a lot more imo.

But whatever, fuck the rules, because there are none!

______________________________________________________

Unrelated rambles, but still kind of relevant and similar? I just don't want to make a separate post.

I don't like Andrealphus' design. It's way too bright and saturated and honestly has my eyes strain a lot, despite not being red. I kinda wanna redesign him. Also I feel like he's gonna be yet another gay stereotype, which is always fun to have /s.

Lucifer's design is underwhelming. Not necessarly because the design is bad on its own, but because of two things:

A) Too many characters look like that. We have too many skinny white Tumblr Sexyman Twinks. We have too many characters with that copy paste smile. Too many characters in suits. He just doesn't stand out. This leads me to my next point.

B) His design doesn't say "Lucifer, King and Ruler of Hell, Fallen Angel". It says "Generic Vivziepop Snarky Guy with a quirky interest". BEFORE SOME OF YALL START SAYING "B-but ackshually he pwobably haz a more dwemwonic fowm 🤓", respectfully, no. I feel that the leader of hell should have a default design that commands some kind of respect out of fear, it doesn't have to be crazy, but it should be intimidating, and stand out. What kind of king just blends into a crowd of his own people? Especially in a fantasy? This is fiction, and there is no reason to hold back and not try something new. In fact, 90% of the characters being skinny could actually be used as an advantage, because then you could just make Lucifer's bodyshape different from the default and he'd already stand out much more.

Fuck it, two redesigns coming up. When I'm done I'll link them here.

[princeescaluswords]

One thing I love about the sciles dynamic is that Stiles is never afraid of Scott. Maybe in s1, when the werewolf thing was new, but not after. Stiles is 100% sure Scott won't hurt him and he's RIGHT

I once made a post here talking about Stiles's relationship with Peter Hale, only to realize, after I received your question, that I can make a similar statement about Stiles when it comes to Scott: Stiles's need for Scott is only exceeded by Stile's love for Scott and this fact remains unchanged throughout the seasons.

The most important person in Stile's life during the series, the one he would do anything for, is without question, his father. But the relationship between fathers and sons, particularly this one, has certain land mines, even at the start of the series, that Stiles and his dad have to navigate carefully around, mostly arising from the traumatic circumstances of Claudia. There are things they don't talk about and badly healed wounds, as the audience can tell by the scene in Co-Captain (1x10), Party Guessed (2x09), and The Girl Who Knew Too Much (3x09).

At the beginning of the show, that complexity didn't exist between Stiles and Scott. Stiles had no boundaries with Scott. He doesn't think twice about showing up in the middle of the night with an impulsive decision to go looking for a dead body in the woods, calling Scott a dumbass, mocking his dreams of being first line, all with perfect confidence that Scott not only wouldn't reject him but there is a very good chance, he'll follow right along.

For a person who endured the violent rejection of his own mother and her tragic death, a friendship seemingly without limitations is something to be treasured. It's something to be fought for. Please, as if something like the threat of bodily harm could deter Stiles from keeping the person he needs and loves safe. Derek scares him because he doesn't care about Derek; the danger Jackson finds himself in is "his own fault."

I know I've talked in negative terms about Stiles's demands on Scott in Heart Monitor (1x06) and going behind Scott's back in Formality (1x11) but those don't contradict this thesis. These actions may not be ethical -- in fact I'm absolutely sure they're not -- but they're designed to protect Scott, both physically and in terms of their relationship. Stiles wants and needs Scott whole but also unchanged, still the only person that Stiles can tease unmercifully or mess up badly with and yet still will ditch his girlfriend to come pick him up. That's why Stiles will insist that Scott do the right thing, no matter what, because that's part of who Scott is. Stiles will throw firebombs at serial killers and endure beatings from a geriatric sociopath in silence so Scott can remain Scott.

Every major relationship crisis between Scott and Stiles comes not from Scott disappointing Stiles but from the idea that Scott's new life and responsibilities will force Scott to stop valuing Stiles the way Stiles values Scott. That's the message behind "You still got me" in Master Plan (2x12): Stiles is stating that no matter how much this werewolf crap changes Scott, he doesn't have to worry about this -- about them. The fear and loss in Stiles's eyes during The Overlooked (3x10) isn't about Scott betraying him but about the realization that the forces of darkness may have finally changed Scott into someone who doesn't need him the way Stiles needs him. The nogitsune torments Stiles in Letharia Vulpina (3x19) by presenting a perverted image of their friendship -- the fox in Stiles's body manipulates Scott into doing the right thing (taking pain) torments Scott (with the ninja-to) and then takes what he needs from the relationship. Stiles puts himself in Eichen House rather than allow himself to hurt Scott that way again in Echo House (3x20) and hides his own pain in The Divine Move (3x21). He'd rather die than let the nogitsune get between them.

Season 5A, of course, is Stiles's greatest fear made real -- that he will go too far, that his own nature will end up destroying this love he values so much and that this friendship that he needs to cope with his life will be gone. There's a reason for that scene with the Jeep in the rain. Stiles could never possibly fear Scott's claws and fangs; the only thing that could make Stiles break down is Scott's indifference.

That's why, in both Motel California (3x06) and Riders of the Storm (6x10) Stiles's ultimate words are always "I need you." For Stiles, Scott could never hurt him as long as he's there.

[lunar-years]

I saw that post and it made me so mad! Jamie was a prick in S1, but Roy was also a prick, the show just sided with him more! I'm not forgiving Jamie's behaviour in S1, but honestly, watching it back he comes across as like an arrogant mean teenager, making himself feel big by taking others down. And thats bad, don't get me wrong. But then you've got a man in his mid 30s, threatening his team with violence constantly, letting himself get riled up to the point of trying to fight a 20 something, and physically attacking a team mate to the point said team mate got a concussion. But thats fine for those people apparently? I love Jamie's arc and its partly due to the fact that he and Rebecca are the only two who were actually ever held accountable for their actions

I'm saying, like!! this show overall has a pretty good track record with ~redemption arcs~ and it's because these characters are at their core good people. They are good people who have made bad decisions or a series of bad decision because of circumstances and struggles in their own lives. Now, of course that's no excuse for their bad actions, and i would never defend those actions, but there's a difference between excusing and explaining! and the show explicitly offers explanations for Jamie's behavior (as well as the others) that show they can be corrected and that do not in any way make the characters irredeemable.

this person in particular was also being flat out ridiculous because they were trying to argue that Jamie only ever got a redemption arc because viewers ended up loving Jamie. Like, first of all Jamie's redemption arc STARTS IN SEASON ONE, which automatically means it wasn't a product of fan response, lmao. Secondly I can tell them as someone who was around during season 2, Jamie was not nearly as widely beloved or as much a fan favorite until the third season. Hell, I know many people who say they didn't care about Jamie at all until Man City! So no, the writers didn't redeem Jamie because "fans are obsessed with Phil" or "because he's pretty." Just, ew.

anyway, the whole point of the show is that we can all learn to be better for and because of the people and community around us. Jamie & Rebecca are able to course correct and change very quickly once the first domino falls because they aren't bad people who need to change fundamentally. They are good people who just need others around who actually believe in them and see the good in them. They just need nudging back onto the right path.

Which is all to say that Jamie doesn't deserve redemption is to misunderstand the entire show I'm so serious. like i don't think that person actually likes Ted Lasso, because.

[licncourt]

Your louis stan nitpicks are not inconsequential and deserve to be given it's due importance. It's not hate, just pointing out the obvious. Out of everyone, I at least, want to know your takes on the differences between show louis and book louis, as meta discourse. And I'm glad there are still movie fans out there, I adore the movie, and I adore the series. <3

Thank you for being interested in my thoughts!! I sat on this ask for a while because I wanted to see at least a majority of the episodes before giving my opinions on characterization, but I think I've seen enough now to talk a bit. For now, I'm going to hit the few main things I noticed as a Louis enjoyer first and a person second but also a fan of the show.

-

While I think it makes sense that this version of Louis has more externalized anger than the book version and is more keen on killing people who "deserve it" (like that racist asshole from ep 2), I don't like that the idea of feeding on evildoers being attributed to Louis. The crux of Louis' morality (as hypocritical as it is) and therefore his character is his approach to killing. He thinks vampires killing humans to sustain themselves wrong no matter the circumstances (once again, really missing the prostitute scene in the show) and feeds at random to keep things "fair". He drinks from animals right from the beginning and never lets Lestat tell him a damn thing.

Attributing Lestat’s supposed principles about only killing evildoers and having Louis go along with the human victims kind of waters down the hypocrisy that defines Louis. He's a black and white moralist who talks about ethics and fairness while living in luxury off the backs of the people he exploits. Louis is meant to have horse blinders on. He balks at vampirism from day one with this righteous, unwavering fury and not an ounce of concession or self-awareness.

Louis making exceptions for racists is one thing, but he's doing that AND pitching the idea of feeding on evildoers AND going along with the human victims for literal years before turning to rats. I want to see his Louis Bullshit in action!! And that means he should have more convictions and worse justification for them.

I get why the writers, in terms of racial optics, may have changed Claudia’s turning from Lestat’s babytrap moment to him granting Louis' request, but reasoning aside.....I don't like the change at all. Firstly, the Claudia babytrap is a HUGE moment for Lestat as a character that I miss, but that's not what we're talking about here.

Honestly, I just don't buy Louis requesting that anyone, let alone a child, be made a vampire. Yes, he feels guilty for her injuries, but in the book he's even MORE directly responsible for her near-death state (having fed on her) and doesn't even consider asking for her to be turned. He tries to physically stop Lestat from doing it in spite of his guilt.

The creation of a vampire is the most repellent act anyone can commit in Louis' mind. He has two fledglings in the books: one he created as an act of devotion for Claudia and he says that it destroyed his soul and his humanity to do it, even for her. The second was made under the influence of magical compulsion and that was a significant factor in his suicide attempt. He risked Lestat hating him and ruining his life rather than grant his request to be turned again while stuck in a mortal body. I just can't imagine Louis asking for this and the show certainly didn't sell me on the change.

As strange as this sounds, I wish he was...worse? Yet again, I understand why they may not have done that, but I think it's a detriment to his complexity. Although it's not nearly as egregious, I feel like the show is making the same mistake as the movie in portraying Louis to be more ethical and moral than Lestat.

Like I said before, Louis' character hinges on the idea that he wants to be a good person, but he's not. He's all talk and no action, so ignorant that his hypocrisy is invisible to him. He's so torn up about his sexuality that he doesn't have a spare thought for the fact that he owns slaves. In the book, he admits that his objections to killing initially were largely aesthetic. He refuses to kill the prostitute Lestat was torturing because winning the philosophical argument meant more to him than her suffering. Louis doesn't have the moral high ground.

Part of what makes him so interesting is that he's so hopelessly terrible even though he thinks he's in some eternal struggle to be good. He's a martyr more than he's a good person, and I think it's somewhat reductive to portray him as flawed but ultimately a good guy.

Book Louis fought with Paul and laughed in his face in the last moments before his death. He had no sense of irony when it came to his Kantian ethics as a slave owner. He loved Claudia with his entire soul but still hurt her deeply with his selfishness. He protested the torture of the prostitute but pushed her away in disgust when she clung to him for help. He has many, many sweet and sympathetic traits, but he's you should never lose sight of his brand of awfulness, even if it's more subtle than Lestat’s.

I would love to see AMC Louis defensive about his ownership of the brothel, more concerned about what it means for his soul than about the exploitation of the women who work there. I wanted to see him fight with Lestat while the tenor slowly choked to death on his own blood. I wanted to see Claudia rankling as he treated her like an inanimate object and a doll for his own comfort. I wanted to see him committing acts of mundane evil, not just kill racists in a particularly gruesome way and snap at his family.

-

Basically I wish they would hit harder with his Louis brand of nonsense and his particular kind of self-pitying, histrionic martyrdom. AMC Louis is a little too upstanding sometimes, I need him to be a little more evil and a little more pathetic about it. The other changes make sense in context, I just need that Louis morality hellscape, man.

Bonus: a meta post I made talking about Louis' moral compass , one I contributed to on the same topic, and how some of that ties into his key themes of hunger and control

[hiswordsarekisses]

“Not long ago, a friend of mine made a major decision that eventually led to the breakup of his family. I spoke with the friend about the wrong thinking that was controlling his actions. His reply was the common Christian retort: “Well, I’ve prayed, and I have peace about it.”

I was shocked by his response. I could not see how a mature believer could claim, that as an answer to prayers for wisdom needed in a tough situation, the Lord had supplied “peace” toward a course of action that was in contradiction to the Scriptures.

The Lord offers to provide supernatural relief from anxieties to those who seek him in prayer: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7). But this promise is often wrongly used as a way to feel a sense of “peace” about what one has determined for himself to be the will of God.

We impose the notion of “God’s peace” on these desires (even when they contradict Scripture) because they will lead to the absence of pain. God’s will, in contrast, tends to involve harder paths that demand suffering and endurance.

When a marriage struggles with intimacy, it is easy to envy the friend who left his marriage and appears to be happy in an adulterous relationship. This type of friend cannot be a measure for determining the will of God, because he is living in sin. Rather, the Christian friend enduring a less-than-perfect-marriage with joy is the one you should seek. We should go to such friends and share the depth of our suffering so that they can walk with us through our trials.

Whenever we are in pain (mentally, physically, or emotionally), and we want to be free from that pain, we must beware of our desires affecting how we “hear” the voice of God. We have to base it only on the Word of God and not our feelings. If we do not hold our decisions to the standard of God's Word, any peace or joy that we think we are experiencing outside of God's will is a deception that will not and cannot ever last.

Our Lord Jesus, with a full understanding of the wrath facing him at the Cross, came to a settled decision in prayer: “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Mt. 26:42). By embracing suffering rather than letting it be the missing piece in determining God’s will, he was able to provide us the peace we need to endure our trials as the will of God.”

~ Eric C. Redmond

Father I pray You renew my mind and thoughts and align them with Your Will, according to Your Word.

Saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Luke22:42

Give thanks in ALL circumstances; for THIS is the WILL OF GOD for you. 1stThessalonians 5:18

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah29:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs3:5-6

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs19:21

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians5:17

If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. John7:17

But seek first the kingdom of God (which is His will) and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew6:22

[aewrie]

Skull and ❤️ for Hollow and Radi :3

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

hollow: outside situations where they have been instructed to fight, or where they could easily conclude that such is the expected course of action, they hold back, both physically and emotionally. a lot. they will stand down until a confrontation is unavoidable, and stay on defensive unless absolutely necessary. but when they snap boy do they snap. similarly, you do not want to get in their way when they have been given the go-ahead by someone else. post-sealing, good luck trying to determine whether they are actually being mellow or simply burying the urge to disembowel whoever is pissing them off.

radiance: she does not like physical violence/confrontations. she will absolutely resort to that if she feels there is no other, or better, way to get around an issue, but she will avoid getting her hands dirty in that particular way if she can. (note: getting someone else to do her dirty work, including via puppeteering their body doesn't count, because technically it is that someone else getting their hands dirty. she loves her technicalities.) she much prefers persuasion, and is willing to push that quite far. on that vein, if she loses her cool and gets obviously angry, you know something really got under her skin, and/or she is desperate.

and the double hearts for u, under a cut because oopsie that got long. buckle up

♥ - family headcanon

hollow: they have a hard time with the idea of a family. in an abstract sense, they know what it means, but in practice, it is scary territory to consider.

when they get around to admitting to themself what the pale king and while lady are to them, terms with minimal emotional associations, like sire in place of father, are easier to digest. the other vessels they always considered their siblings, but it is not a family in the same sense as common bugs think of it. it is far too strange.

hornet is easiest to consider family in the usual sense, even if early on only in quiet corners of their mind buried deep down, and later on being something they have to relearn together.

radiance: she is the older one between grimm and her, at least, in terms of when they developed an awareness and a sense of self, and became individuals rather than just ideas. they consider each other siblings, but under different circumstances, that could have been different.

grimm made his first proper appearance after radiance created the moths, and at first, she thought she might like the company. she saw a fledgling god who was in some ways similar to her, but still figuring himself out, and felt a sense of responsibility, in a way not too dissimilar to the way she felt a sense of responsibility to her moths; they were her precious things. she feared a reality without their admiration and dedication to her, and needed to cultivate that. they were lost in this world when they were new and she would guide them. she had never met a new god, and this one showed up at her domain of all places.

problem is, this was in fact a god, and not another follower for her to add to her collection of devotees, or someone she could keep under her thumb.

when grimm showed even passing interest toward her moths, she got annoyed. those were hers. she did not want to share them with this newcomer she was previously happy to tolerate, happy to have around even, and around then was when grimm first joked that she is like an older sibling who does not want to share her toys.

(she did not like that comparison, largely because she knew it was true - not that she would openly admit it. but when grimm left the moths be, she was content enough to let it slide.)

but when he started outwardly showing signs of having command over the parts of the dream realm she hadn't really claimed, things got strained really fast. radiance did not just not want to share her toys, she did not want to share her entire playground.

she did consider him a brother, and throughout that initial feeling attachment remained and developed. but she felt threatened by him having any power over something that she thought hers, even is she never wanted it. she was bitter when he became, or rather, turned out to be something other than she had hoped.

♡ - romantic headcanon

hollow: they get very insecure and bashful about being seen as wanting affection of any kind, let alone romantic. to boot, they aren't even sure what they want, and have a hard time knowing when their feelings are romantic or something else.

just the thought of love, because it was something forbidden and 'unnecessary', gets them easily emotionally compromised. they don't know what to do with an open show of affection toward them, and will quickly disregard it as undeserved or the like, because that is easier than actually dealing with the emotions. post-canon & a lot of healing later it gets better, but they still are uncertain at times.

radiance: girl does not know know how to have a healthy relationship, and would need a lot of self-reflection and work before she could deliver something other than at-best-dysfunctional. she gets jealous and insecure, and needs near-constant attention and validation to be satisfied and feel secure in a relationship.

even at her best, she is easily a lot to handle, and she often doesn't realize that. someone equally strong-willed and brash would have an easier time handling her ups and downs, but chances are she would not be pleased being the one getting handled. she can be a lot less intense if it is someone else that approaches her first, because if these is something she likes it's gaining someone's attention and admiration without having to go out of her way to get it, but when she knows what she wants, godspeed.

[theomnicode]

Coming of Age; The lessons in immortality and moral high grounding

The longest meta often starts with the tiniest thing.

One thing in Cosmic Garou's design is an interesting one to note.

Long ears.

It's not only demonic, but elvish as well.

It is by no means accidental, because elves who in popular culture posses such long ears, often denote long life, vitality and immortality.

I'd like to borrow something I found from quora, from Douglas Adam's Hitchiker's guide to galaxy. An answer to question:

Do the Elves in Tolkien’s mythos ever go insane from living too long? Do any of them resent being immortal?

I think this topic is covered very nicely in Douglas Adams' book “Life, the Universe and Everything - Wikipedia ”, the third book in his five book trilogy “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”: Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged was-indeed, is - one of the Universe's very small number of immortal beings. Those who are born immortal instinctively know how to cope with it, but Wowbagger was not one of them. Indeed he had come to hate them, the load of serene bastards. He had had his immortality thrust upon him by an unfortunate accident with an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch and a pair of rubber bands. The precise details of the accident are not important because no one has ever managed to duplicate the exact circumstances under which it happened, and many people have ended up looking very silly, or dead, or both, trying. Wowbagger closed his eyes in a grim and weary expression, put some light jazz on the ship's stereo, and reflected that he could have made it if it hadn't been for Sunday afternoons, he really could have done. To begin with it was fun, he had a ball, living dangerously, taking risks, cleaning up on high-yield long-term investments, and just generally outliving the hell out of everybody. In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2.55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul. So things began to pall for him. The merry smiles he used to wear at other people's funerals began to fade. He began to despise the Universe in general, and everyone in it in particular.

"So, Elves, having been created immortal, would live happily in Valinor until the end of time. Humans, if they had been granted their wish of immortality, wouldn’t know how to cope with it."

Elves are naturally immortal; like the Ainur, they are bound to Arda until its End. Elves are immune to all diseases, and they can recover from wounds which would normally kill a mortal Man.[1]:218-9

Nonetheless, Elves can be physically slain or die of grief and weariness.

Saitama denotes all the signs of immortality as well, yet his body is still human, because he stubbornly clings to his humanity. And so his body is still capable of dying.

So in this, Garou's story and one of the themes in OPM is a coming-of-age, where Garou matures enough to realize the cost of attaining such power and takes responsibility for his actions.

Of growing and becoming an old and weary soul, of having your loved ones die before you.

That's why he chose to not remain so and chose to go out in his own terms and not linger around trying to find redemption. Otherwise he'd just become insane.

Humans, when immortality is thrust on them, would not know how to cope with it. There is one being that would know this fact better than anybody else. The one who imposed those limits on humankind.

Yet said being is actually already dead but stubbornly clinging to a human-resembling form and takes the identities and forms of other people because it has none of it's own. Or perhaps it resents itself and so hides behind a facade.

Makes you think who could have killed such a being and locked it away behind a dimensional barrier. If not himself.

So in the cruellest way possible, Future Garou learned an important lesson; not to dabble with powers he does not know to justify being moral police. The consequences are too severe.

That's why he only got a mere fraction of the power and why he was allowed to go out on his own terms. So the lesson will stick harder when it becomes apparent that he's not out of the woods yet. Because he's definitely not allowed to live a long life no or become immortal in the mortal world.

OPM God could have taken his life, yet he did not.

We're really making assumptions here that how long Garou spent touching God's hand is the reason why he got only a small portion of his powers imparted to him.

Instead of OPM God choosing to only impart him with a small fraction.

Or that the gesture itself is entirely meaningless in the grand scheme of things; that the true meaning of taking God's hand is accepting, wanting help and willingness to take that power and touching the hand makes the contract more binding when the person is manipulated to follow through with thinking of it as moral obligation.

It's not like he has to tell them what to do with the power, after all, their own moral code will make certain that they do exactly as he emotionally manipulates them to confidently act.

Like a puppet chessmaster, the space moral police lawyer. Also known as Advocate.

They'd still be a puppet, even if they have free will, when they get manipulated into thinking that they can justify their current actions. And why such manipulation is so hard to shake off by telling them they're being controlled, because their own hard convictions lead them on.

Being able to take the moral high ground, when one has so many problems with society's moral values and everyone else's values one deem bad, is a helluva drug indeed.

(Nice parallel btw)

If it's not apparent, Garou is not the only one who got taught an important lesson that will stick.

Don't take the moral high ground and flaunt that power imbalance. The consequences are too severe. The resulting ignorance and superiority complex are not worth it.

Being able to justify anything one does on the cognitive side is only fooling oneself into becoming a hypocrite.

Consider using heart and empathy instead.

--

So what did we learn about chasing and gaining power, attaining immortality and moral high grounding?

Fucking Don't. Don't fucking do it. Because at the end of the day, people still have to accept responsibility for their own actions if they're to be an actual mature person. Physically and mentally.

The higher moral ground one takes, the harder will be the fall when one slips off the edge.

Oh and the inner critic, Big Brother, is watching, with a magnifying glass in hand.

--

(Funny how your own metas make you sound like a bloody hypocrite huh? There is a lot of power in written and spoken words too. It certainly does make one consider. That's how you know ONE's writing is super-effective. Preach.)

Edit: You know it's kind of creepy when I write this shit for multiple hours, post and then I come back and see ONE has posted an omake in Mob Psycho about the same fucking thing.

Well, I fucking guess I'm on the right track with the theme he wants to tell ppfpfpf. Preaching without action or empathy is just being a dumbass hypocrite.

[dedahblog]

"Starter" the second chapter of this manga is probably the most important one in this whole story

This is my personal analysis of Ichigo/ Rukia's dialogue. This is a no romance related post, just me trying to interpret the words of those emotionally constipated idiots.

Of course, this is undeniably a tribute to Rukia

Rukia knew from day one that if she gave even half of her powers to Ichigo, she would get executed.

However, she did it anyway

No one could ever comprehend what was happening in her mind in that one tiny panel, before she suggested that "crime" to Ichigo.

Kub0, what was the main message behind her noble act ? Please put into words what readers should conclude regarding her character.

Let's appreciate the fact that that woman was aware that she could be executed and even slaughtered by SS in any given time.

Ichigo was aware that Rukia was not guilty of anything. He was the one who should pay the price of his arrogance.

However, there was something more important for Ichigo than Rukia's fair treatment and his own pride. It was his family's safety.

If he were to accept Rukia's offer, his family could get killed at anytime while he was saving some stranger, just like what happened to his mother. Some strangers getting killed was not his concern compared to the immense guilt he would feel if he were to live his trauma again.

..

It's also important to note that Ichigo didn't forget about her sacrifice. He was aware that she owed him one and expected him to return back the favor thus him saying " sorry to disappoint you".

I want to stress over the fact that he didn't forget anything because this topic will be brought up again later

..

Rukia thought it was probably a lack of confidence so she quicky tried to reassure him.

Ichigo refused to help her, if I may say half heartedly : that little sweart dropple showed how he wasn't confident of this decision.

However, Rukia neither caught how unsure he was about his decision nor gave a f.

Girlboss is a woman of action.

She made the most crucial move in this manga.

Ichigo, just like the readers, was confused seeing a soul being seperated from its physical body.

Was Ichigo going to come back to his body ? Was he going to leave his body like that ? Was it considered a corpse at that point ? Did Ichigo turn into a shinigami trapped in a corpse ? Was he no longer a human ?

When Rukia said the line " Follow me", Ichigo and us understood that all those questions were meaningless at that moment.

All those fantastic, supernatural events were not that important. There was something more impactful in this whole picture, this whole manga and Kub0/ Rukia was going to show it for us/Ichigo

She told us/Ichigo to follow her lead since she took his place as the hero and the main character as he obviously didn't want to be any of those.

Not only did she make Ichigo wait for twenty minutes for the hollow, but she also intimidated him so much that this ungrateful punk ass teen didn't dare to ask anything for that long.

Readers understood the extent of the charisma radiating from this petite woman.

Then, when a hollow appeared, Rukia who, as a reminder, had sacrificed herself for a stranger the night before, didn't move even one inch

As she was saying, whether Ichigo helped that kid or not, that won't mean he wanted to be the main character and the hero, since any other "kind-hearted" character would help that kid in those precise circumstances.

Rukia was shaking her fist while proclaiming her ideals for two reasons.

First of all, she was just as scared as Ichigo about that kid's safety and she was holding herself back from sacrificing herself for him.

Secondly, she could never deny Ichigo's individuality ; she knew she couldn't control his mindest so she was putting all her heart in that speech to convince him to help her.

The thing about Rukia is whatever sacrifices she had made, she thought she was responsible for that decision thus she never blamed Ichigo for her execution.

However, that was different. That wasn't about her. People's lives were in danger. Even if she can do some kidou spells, there was a high possibility that people would get killed. She was shaking her fist because she was worried what may happen if Ichigo let her down.

In that last panel, Ichigo recalled how Rukia sacrificed herself for him. As I said before he had never forgotten it but at that time, he started seeing it in a new perspective.

Rukia was someone that was certain that a shinigami is defined as someone who would die protecting anyone in need. If he didn't help her, she would never sit back and blame him for all the lives that were not saved. She would sacrifice herself over and over again until her last breath.

So his decision was made.

When Rukia asked him if he accepted, he replied (gracefully)

then continued with,

He added that he would never believe that her shinigami morals are universal.

No one in the world could fully embrace those ideals because it's hard to even fathom that you need to be omnipresent for the sake of others

(isn't that one of the reasons why humans invented Gods in the first place? )

He told her that she didn't sacrifice herself thanks to her shinigami upbringing. There was a goodness in her that was driving her to do it, a goodness he didn't have.

His speech wasn't about conforming to her ideals since he didn't have her guts " I'm not as nice of a person" as you.

( which to be fair is 10000% true. Ichigo admitting you're trash compared to Rukia👏👏good shit)

He told her that if he get scared, he may feel the impulse to run away from this duty, but he won't for one reason.

Anyone who read this manga knows what the shaded closed up mouth panels represented. They were used to show that a character was not true to himself.

Kubo did the same trick at that time. He drew one tiny panel focusing on Ichigo's mouth before making him say he was doing it out of debt.

That reason was neither the only one nor the main one.

As I explained, the fact he was indebted to her had never been forgotten and it didn't prevent him from refusing her offer in the first place.

The reason he became a subtitute was that Rukia's safety became his priority ;

She would die if he didn't help her.

and more importantly he believed in Rukia's noble value and understood them even if he couldn't commit.

By the end of that chapter, Ichigo regained his status as the main character but Rukia remained the undeniable hero.

We later understood what made him become one : he was finally ready to fully commit to Rukia's ideals.

The only time Kub0 acknowledge him as onz was in the last arc, in a chapter named "the hero" (ch 555).

[aspd-culture]

is it an “everyone” thing to only be stopped from being physically violent for shits and giggles by consequences? for example, if you put an acquaintance I’m neutral towards in front of me and told me that if I slapped them, they wouldn’t physically react but would feel very emotionally hurt, I’d be swinging.

also, is it an “everyone” thing to feel like you only view displays of emotions as negative consequences to your actions because you were hardwired as a child to be fearful of others? not because you feel some kind of inherent “oh no, I (a human) made them (a human) feel bad!”? how do you tell which one of these you’re feeling?

It is definitely not an everyone thing to have violent urges (that's what you described), except in rare circumstances where someone has really strongly emotionally upset you over something big and important. And people disagree on what does and doesn't warrant violence; for example, Will Smith got very mixed opinions when he hit someone who was extremely disrespectful to a condition his wife cannot control. It is, however, very common in pwASPD.

The second part sounds to mix like a mix of low or no empathy, low or no remorse, and possibly some trauma response. All three of those things are common in pwASPD. In fact, the first two are symptom criteria and the third is development critieria.

All in all, no I would say neither of these are "everyone" things, but both are definitely common in pwASPD (as well as some other disorders! ASPD is not the only thing that can cause those things I just focus through the lens of ASPD bc that's what this blog is about).

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Even if I was, I am not your professional, and therefore I cannot diagnose you with anything. If you are experiencing symptoms of ASPD or anything else that causes you or people in your life significant distress and have the means to, I always suggest talking to a mental health professional about those symptoms.

[animeloversworldsblog]

dear jackeychan how can u blame mahiru?isn't it rigr who made this plan and used them?mahiru always wanted to be a normal girl.rigr told guren that it was totally his plan except their feelings.doesn't that mean the misfortunes that happened to guren wasn't mahiru's plan but rigr's?only her feelings towards guren that called love was her.she is a savior cause she wants to save humanity by losing shika.can u explore her personality a little more.i'm not a gurexmahi shipper.not at all.but everyone tries to present her like a saint.so i'm really confused.do guren really love mahiru?if he somehow can bring her back,will he fall for her again?how good is mahiru(not the demon possessed one) for him?can u plzz explore them?plzzzzz

Well, it's been too long since I dropped this manga tbh; one bcs of the toxicity that has this manga with justify the evil as something good or "bcs the circumstances made me do it" and two bcs the plot get more and more boring.

But like you ask me dear Crowleyuri I can tell you I made some post about it long time ago about why I can confirm mahiru is pure evil and nothing good. Is an horrible character even if there are people that always try to portrait her like, saint, innocent, savior, etc. All the question you made can be respond on my old post so I hope that help you with your doubts. I can just tell you that all this are my analysis on what I saw on novel and manga and how even on there shows how she truly is as a person, and as a human and that her demons has nothing to do with her decisions. Even guren proof by himself that he was manipulated since the moment they met and he never showed love at all, was more like responsibility and guilt and in the end he himself realized she was just a monster and he was his victim and still is. Which is sad tbh. The worse thing here is that she is guilty free of all her decisions, just for be a woman.

Now I let here my post. Hope it's help. And thank for asking me

[wintersandthebeast]

28. Horizon

RE8 | Wintersberg | Romance, Slow Burn | Action, Sci-Fi

Link to Master List

The sky threatened more rain during lunch, but the grey clouds didn’t make good on the promise.  Karl was absent from the table while everyone else ate together, and it only took a pointed look and thumbing motion from Maricara for Ethan to know the engineer had left on the front of the house, where the trail led to the once-factory overlook.  The once-everything overlook, really.  

Ethan walked with his hands in his pockets, eyeing the windy horizon suspiciously, but he found Karl sitting on a rock staring down into the canyon with something in his hand.  As the blond approached he saw that it was the Heisenberg factory key.  Karl was rubbing his thumb over the metal, his glasses on his face, his eyes hidden.  

He didn’t move when Ethan took a seat beside him on another jagged rock.  Winters stretched his long legs, crossing them at the ankle, and put his hands back into his pockets.  He glanced from Heisenberg, down to the spot where the factory had once been.  Parts of the bridge into the village still stood, and beyond them a rainy fog obscured what was left.  

Most of Chris’s explosives had been planted at the factory.  Ethan left it unsaid that even Chris’s notes couldn’t find a link to the factory and Miranda’s work, but both men had been in agreement--the cavern of horrors needed to go.  Ethan almost felt remorse, seeing the way that Heisenberg looked over the area while holding the key.  Even though he couldn’t see the man’s eyes, he could feel the radiating sadness.  

When it became clear that normally talkative Karl had nothing to say, Ethan removed his hands from his pockets, crossed his arms, and sighed heavily.  “She…Miranda.  Pretended to be you in a dream.  I thought it was you.” 

Karl’s head turned slowly.  He said nothing still.  

“She was uh…trying to be physical.  With me.”  Ethan’s face was a light shade of green, and now Karl’s head snapped the rest of the way.  

“Christ....fucking bitch,” Karl growled, and clenched the key so hard that Ethan thought it might break.  His scarred lips were pursed, a sure sign that he was imploding emotionally, and Ethan heard the buzzing of a transformer nearby.  He stared into the grey afternoon.  

“I knew it wasn’t you when she…looked at me,” he said, tilting his head. 

This made Karl snort, an odd noise given the circumstances, and now the engineer gazed rather invasively at Winters.  “Did she…?”

“No,” Ethan said, maybe too quickly.  “She didn’t….before…. You came in.” 

Karl nodded thoughtfully and stroked his beard in silence for a moment.  Then, a simple, “Why didn’t you want to tell me?”

Ethan blushed.  “I just, don’t know why I reacted the way that I did.  I was ashamed of that, and just…that I couldn’t stop her.  That I needed help, I guess.”

Karl took off his glasses and raised one greyish eyebrow.  “You sure took that 1911 I gave you, plus all the other help,” he said in a humored tone.  

Ethan scoffed, remembering the lycan at the window--if he’d known at the time that it was Karl who left that note, he would have punched him for it the next time they met.  Still, the weapon had been his favorite, a lifesaver, and he knew that Karl was responsible for far more help than just the handgun.  

“It’s a different kind of shame,” the blond said quietly, and now Karl’s golden eyes pierced into him.  The other man pocketed the key and withdrew a cigar.  He paused, and held one out to Ethan, but the blond smiled and shook his head.  As Karl lit the cigar he muttered, “That’s right, gotta watch yer health, bein’ mold an’ all.”  Ethan rolled his eyes, but he smirked at the joke.  A sarcastic Karl was much better than a quiet Karl. 

After a puff of smoke was exhaled, the other began in a more hollow voice than usual, “She’s done it before.” 

Karl swallowed, crossing one ankle over his other knee, and Ethan stared at him again.  Those words were too deep-meaninged to decipher, so he just frowned at Karl until the brunette spoke again.  

“Men in the village, thinkin’ it was some…I dunno.  Pub gal.”  He scoff-laughed again.  “Had a whole arsenal of disguises she liked.  Men and women, actually.  She’d leave the village an’ do it too.”  He stared at the cigar.  “Us too.”

“Us?” Ethan said in a too-shrill voice. 

“Her Lords ,” Heisenberg said in the same annoyed tone he’d used when on the horse.  “Sometimes she’d erase…”

At this Heisenberg paused, smoked, looked vacantly over the expanse on the horizon.  

Ethan realized that his own horrified expression probably didn’t help things, and he struggled to control it.  When he tore his eyes from Heisenberg, not wanting to cause a scene, the other shot, “I told you I put up with her for years.”

Ethan’s hand found Heisenbergs, and he moved to be closer to him.  He embraced the stony engineer by putting his head on the other’s shoulder, hugging the arm that was free of the cigar.  “I’m so sorry.” 

“If she tries that shit on you again, I’ll split my fucking head open if it means getting into the Mold and choking the fucking life out of her,” Karl said casually, but his expression did not match his tone.  

“I’m glad you were close,” Ethan said honestly, and then added, “I think no matter what happens, you’ll sense it, and can...wake me up?” 

Karl continued to smoke in a comfortable silence, until Ethan lifted his head and stared at the other.  “Wait--you don’t mind that I…well, after?”

“Mind what, you comin’ onto me?”

Ethan’s curious gaze turned into a scowl.  Karl grinned as if making Ethan scowl was one of his life’s goals.  It might have been at this point. 

He flicked the remainder of the cigar to the rocky ground, crushing it beneath his boot.  “I’ve been there, I told you, there’s no right or wrong way to act.  She’s the fucked up one, Ethan, not you.” 

Ethan considered this, the scowl melting.  Just as he was about to accept the answer, Heisenberg stood.  “Well, I mean, you are pretty fucked up.  But--”

Ethan kissed him on the lips, and then broke the kiss, the now-familiar hunger present in Heisenberg’s eyes.  “Shut up,” Ethan said in a light tone, and walked past the engineer to get back on the trail toward the manor.  He heard Heisenberg’s growl of arousal and smiled back at the other. 

-----------------------------------

The clouds parted by mid-afternoon, and Ethan grabbed an old camera he’d bought from the Duke at the ‘funeral’.  Karl had fixed it for him only several days earlier, and he wanted to get back to documenting Rose as he had before.  Ethan preferred film cameras, had taken extensive photography classes in college.  Now Rosemary and her goat toddled in the back gardens, exploring everything that had been hidden under blankets of snow until recently, as Ethan followed her with the camera. 

He couldn’t be prouder, or happier.  The man inhaled the crisp mountain air, glancing toward the setting sun and feeling a chill on his skin.  Maybe he was technically dead, but he’d never felt so alive.  Karl had promised him a rough night later, and the warm light of the dining area bled onto the grass in the garden where dinner would happen soon.  

Even Miranda couldn’t fuck up his happiness in this present moment. 

Ethan raised the camera, eyeing Rose through the viewfinder.  He purposely didn’t get her attention, wanting to capture her candid innocent fascination with--currently, a crispy leaf--but as her hand closed on it, something happened.  Ethan peered through the window of the camera.  Now she opened her hand and the leaf was gone.  Something…white? 

She brought it up to her mouth, as she did with most things, and Ethan rushed forward.  “Oh, no, Rose,” he said patiently, plucking whatever it was from her little palm.  He froze, realizing it was a small crystal.  

“Where did you get this?” he said in an awestruck voice, and looked around.  The leaf was gone, with no traces in her hand.  Ethan’s eyebrows rose as his daughter babbled at him.  

“Did you…make…this?” he asked, turning the little white rock in his hands.  He searched around and picked up a pebble.  He handed it to her, feeling very stupid.  

“Can you make another?” he asked in hopeful-dad voice.  The girl’s pudgy hand closed, then opened, and she squealed.  In her hand was a tiny pointed crystal.  

“Holy shit,” Ethan said, and he blinked them both into the liminal space.  “Eva?  You around?”

Saying her name always seemed to summon her, and she was agile enough to travel fast.  It was moments before the girl stepped into the glitchy-edged world, and she now stared at the two crystals that Ethan held out to her.  

“One was a leaf, and one was a rock,” Ethan said in a slightly nervous tone.  “What does this mean?” 

“She made them?” Eva said, her blue eyes lighting up.  “Not found them?”

“Made them,” Ethan nodded.  Just as he’d feared, Eva looked taken aback. 

“What, what? What does this mean?” 

“These are powers of creation,” Eva said, shocked--an unusual emotion for her.  

[rachelsfav-queer]

(my original apology, not really relevant anymore I guess)

Hey!

I uhh disappeared for a little while, huh? Sorry about that. I just needed some time to recollect myself, work through some things, and just generally better myself enough to feel like I was ready to return.

So, this is already gonna be wordy enough and I know large texts of speech aren’t for everyone, so I’ll do my best to be concise, but no promises.

I want to say before I get into the meat of the issue that I in absolutely no way condone abuse in any way. Physical, emotional, verbal, or any other form. It is despicable and it is unacceptable. I myself know the effects of abuse as I’ve not only been on the receiving end of it for a large portion of my life, but I’ve also been witness to it happening to people I love. Most significantly, my mom. When my biological father pushed her and she hit her head on my metal bed frame, a fight I did not see firsthand, but experienced the aftermath. I have seen many forms of it, including when my legal father had spanked me, only once ever, but I felt the effects of that experience change me in small ways. All of this I say not for pity, but to make very clear what my stance on the topic is. Especially with a certain “comedian” making a “joke” about the topic and how intense arguments online have been about it.

Okay, now to why we’re here. On Monday, December 4th, I made a post here that included a question about fictional characters involved in a caregiver/little relationship engaging in a certain form of physical abuse, specifically spanking. Now, all characters are 18+ in this fictional scenario and are all fully consenting. But that does not change the fact that spanking or any form of physical violence is not acceptable between caregiver and little. And an anonymous asker pointed that out in a harsh but correct response to the question I had posed.

Now, if this was under normal circumstances, I would’ve felt guilty but would have just apologized and then moved on. But, at the time, I was deep in little space and had gotten excited about discussions related to the fictional characters mentioned prior. That led to me asking an inappropriate question that at the time, I didn’t fully understand the weight behind it. Now, none of this is an excuse for my actions, simply an explanation and I take full responsibility for any harm I may have caused.

But, we move on to my side of the story and I explain what happened and why I disappeared. So, as I said, I was deep in little space when I received the anonymous ask and when I read it, I immediately dropped out of little space, and hard. I was already feeling immense guilt but that was piled on by the intense experience of a headspace drop. I was not in a good mindset at that time and I couldn’t deal with any of it. And then I received yet another ask addressing the previous one that straight up defended child abuse. I obviously blocked that anon as I was not going to allow my blog to yet again become a nest for anger and arguments.

But, it was then that I realized that I needed a break, badly. So, I said goodbye and left with no explanation. I worried a lot of you and for that I am sorry. I am genuinely sorry for all of my actions that night that led to others getting hurt. But I left for a reason. As it became clear that night, I was getting far too deep into all of this. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing anymore and again, that led to someone being harmed.

Now, I want this to be very clear. Absolutely no hate is to come to the anon who called me out. They were correct, abuse of any form is not acceptable. It was simply a matter of bad timing and that is not their fault. So any negativity towards them will get you blocked, no exceptions whatsoever.

And as for the future of the blog, I want to get back into the VampRavenWolf stuff, if everyone is still interested in talking about it. I understand if it’s been too long or if everyone saw what I posted and have decided that it was too much to forgive. If this ship is over, then I guess that’s just how it’s going to have to be. I’m sorry that my actions have destroyed something so amazing. I know how much this meant to a lot of people and to think that I could’ve ruined that, the thought destroys me.

But, if there are still people who want to talk about it, then I’m ready to get back into the fold! Either way, it’s been so much fun interacting with everyone this past month or so and nothing can ever come close to the amazing experiences I’ve been gifted here. Thank you all, so much.

Much love, Rachel❤️