#you can not definitely say she leaked them on purpose

[andnowwedance]

We have nothing but bread crumbs. If you eliminate everything that was gathered by fans stalking their friend/family/real estate listing we only have the people statement and blurry pics from a park.//

Nope, a few people who work behind the scenes have stated this is PR.

Omg I don’t want to dive back into this catastrophe but I just want to state actual facts. There are no “blurry” park pics. Chris and Alba did a cringe PR walk in the park and as soon as the pic was taken by the hired photographer they dropped hands…how do we know that because a random stranger caught them on video not even a minute later with Chris’ hand in his pocket and Alba seeing the camera and trying to grab his hand that was previously holding hers before he placed it in his pocket, so ….these two couldn’t hold hands for the duration of the song playing in the background at the park, but they are so “in love and serious” 🙄

Things would’ve been fine if the pap pics were the only thing released but they got caught by a random stranger on video, not a fan.

Her and her friends racist, fatphobic, nazi posts were discovered.

His own mother likes a comment stating “why are people defending a racist”…..referring to Alba.

they haven’t been spotted together since the second failed PR attempt at Disney World, but who knows that might change depending on if the contract is officially over or not.

One of her friends had a public like that called Chris a “dollar store Leo DiCaprio with half the talent” and when that was discovered her friend deleted the like and it’s been proven that the same friend named Justin has been trolling his fans since day one.

Yes, his fans have done the absolute most, but this definitely isn’t one sided. This is not solely on the fans, these clout chasing fools, trolled and got the attention they oh so wanted, but by all means if you honestly believe her and Chris are in a serious relationship and they are trying to keep things private now…..after her show got canceled and her and her friends evil posts were exposed that she desperately decided to leak her own nudes….for whatever reason….can’t blame fans on that, she did that herself, no she’s wasn’t “hacked”.

If her and Chris wanted to be private they could’ve done that, but they’d actually have to be in a relationship. They went “public” the day the third season of her show aired, and ironically his team has been working to clean up online the past week.

It’s a contract, but I’ll just be labeled as “crazy” and maybe I am but remember a crazy person is known to be right once in a while. 😉🤭

…I’ll humor you….. *takes off “crazy” hat*

but hey who knows what’s going on, but one thing we aren’t going to act like this is the typical “omg the fans are jealous and ruining his “relationship”. This mess has been exposed more times than I can count but people want substantial proof ….so I guess when a break up article happens everyone who believes they are legit will go “it’s the fans fault” for their break up yet it’ll be listed as “the long distance” was hard for the two to make the “relationship” work.

Have a great weekend and know things are never fully as they seem. 😉 These two botched their own PR contract. What you originally typed is what the general population knows, a few folks who are in the industry behind the scenes have also stated this is PR but again, time will reveal all. Feel free to believe whatever you want. Have a great weekend!

Who exactly are these behind the scene people? What have they stated exactly?

Look theres so much nonsense in here im not gonna waist the few hours i have before i go to bed breaking it all down. Especially considering that you fully acknowledge it makes you look crazy. There is a lot of stuff in here that can essentially be boiled down to “we bully her because she is making us” and that is not only a dumb thing to suggest, it is a dangerous mind set to have in your life. You are bullying them because you want to, maybe it makes you feel better about your self idk. But remember you can’t control other people actions, only your own. You can simply stop following alba and her friends and stop taking the bait if that truly what you believe they are doing

However i will address this part. Alba did not leak her owe nudes, i will simply never believe this because it is a ridiculous thing for a person in her position to do.

And ill leave you with this

[astralnymphh]

ellie with a back or shoulder tattoo..❤️‍🔥

ct; blurb, sub!ellie with a tinge of attitude, beach day, massaging (ellie receiving), very suggestive, tattoo is mostly up for reader interpretation, slight pussy play (ellie receiving). period started in the middle of jotting this, so apologies if it became rushed! otherwise, HUZZAH! [ellie img from keaneq_ on pinterest]

for all nerd intents— it would maybe be a dragon. unsure what else would be on her back (perhaps something cosmic?), but all is up for interpretation! so particular with the placement, though; it would peak out from her tanks, buying her the reason to wear them more frequently. and of course— she does. if there's a way to keep your eyes on her, she most definitely will deploy that advantage. "see how sick my tat looks in this shirt, babe? damn, best decision ever." (starts flexing her arms like an idiot) anywho, a scenario, if you will: waves crashing near, seagulls squawking off ears, and the scent of damp sand everywhere— you're at the beach, secluded in secret. ellie suggested you find secrecy, and it was right off the bat that you located the perfect, boulder-walled cove. situating yourselves between those stone giants, you could talk, touch, tangle, and canoodle to your heart's fullest content. in seclusion, instead of wearing a tank, ellie had clad this black sports bra. intentionally; it flaunts her freckles, her lean shoulder muscles, her new tattoo— so deep and dense soaked in sunlight, glistening since you're giving her body quite the pat-down with sunscreen. goddess knows that pale girl depends on it.

right now, though, she need not wear anything on her torso at all. "fuck— that's the spot, oof," she rasps harshly, groans with pleasure into the netting of her beach chair. it just had to turn into a massage sesh. poor ellie works so hard to provide for you two. who's to say she doesn't need some tender touching care? you roll your thumbs along the sides of her nape, pushing and ruching her skin slow and sensual. ellie is convinced you were covertly trained for this. it feels like you are. "ah— babe, can you, uh, go lower?" her voice strains, and she reaches a hand back, nudging the band of her swim shorts downward. the tattoo's length is now revealed entirely, and it draws your pupils and fingertips to venture upon it. noticing where you two connect, you stare; her perky little butt had been pressed into your crotch for minutes now, and all the impulsive fibers in your brain wanted to do— was grope. but you palpate above it, acting unbothered. it serves for a bit, until ellie makes the usual sly and stupid remark about it, her tone clearer and louder, "enjoying the view? hmhm, 'can't say I let you do this too often." and you can feel the purpose hot on her flesh when she adjusts her hips, drives her ass a tad into your groin— so you grip one side. control filled that grip. it turns vice, and so does your question, "are you enjoying being touched here? seems like it." the top knuckles of your digits curling an inch under her pulled waistband. the auburn bun you shot gazes of daggers at just then, turns away so she can somewhat face you, given her position. playful eyes of green answer before her throat can, and they ring with the audacity to provoke you further. heavy-lidded, low-browed. "tchh— obviously. I did tell you to go lower," her tone laden in attitude, plastered with a shit-eating grin. now, ellie did tell you that, but her voice emphasized that you hadn't gone low enough. hadn't trailed past the tail of her tattoo.

pretty slick of her. it however, doesn't compete with the slickness you discovered leaking from her cunt. as one hand continued its caressing of her inked spine, the other ran fingertips over the fabric of her stygian shorts, slotting the damp material in-between her pussy lips, and stamping her clit down with your thumb. "mhh, huh, fuuck," through her whimpers, she freed a scoff; impatient-sounding, "is this all ur' gonna do? tease me?" the tight muscles of her thighs softly clench your wrist. you knit your brows at her, removing the pressure your thumb gave, "just admiring your back baby, be patient."

[insomniakisses]

Hotd reaction to you saying its too big

Warnings/Notes: MINORS AND CIS HETS DNI // 18+ Content Ahead, Omegaverse

You knew your first time with your alpha would hurt, but it was your marital duty so you had to face it here and now. Luckily, your alpha seemed more than content in taking the lead.

Leading you to your new chambers they made quick work of stripping you both off, leaning down to kiss their way across your chest and down to your pussy. Once there they began slow licks from your hole all the way up to your clit swirling there tongue there before repeating the process. Loving the moans and mewls you let out as your hole clenched around nothing.

Once they had ensured you were wet enough to take them they rub their tip against you getting it when enough before gently pushing in with a moan, there tip popping in completely as you yelp. “Its too big!”

Rhaenys

She simply moves to rub ur clit continuing to push in. “Cmon be a good omega and take ur alpha” she coaxes leaning to kiss ur neck and jaw as she stretches you paying no mind to your tears as she bottoms out.

“B-baby” you whine as you attempt to push her away she huffs slapping your hands away and holding your legs open. “I’ll go slow and you’ll adjust” she states matter of fact as her hips begin to move.

Alicent

She pauses immediately nosing at your neck placing soft kisses there. Her body is screaming to pound you but she never wants to hurt you especially not during something intimate. “Are you hurt?” She asks soft eyes full of regret stare at yours and you shake your head looping your arms around her neck pulling her in for a kiss mummbing a “just be gentle” against them as you legs lock around her waist.

She moans feeling herself slip deeper and her hips set off to a soft pace pushing all the way in and pulling out to her tip before pushing back in again. Not going faster till you’re begging her to.

Rhaenyra

She groans not stopping as she pushes your legs to your chest pinning you in place. “I’m big huh?” She smirks cocky as always “You think you can take it? Take my thick cock as I breed you full?” Shes past bottoming out now already moving at a fast pace her tip smacking your cervix every thrust her cock so thick she stretches you so much you struggle for breath.

You’re left a mess mouth open moaning and mumbling none sense, tears of pleasure leaking from your eyes as you stare at the ceiling with blown out pupils. Belly bulging with cum as you leak onto her cock. Rhaenyra isn’t fairing much better shes moaning mouth open and eyes closed cock past sensitive and knot ready to pop as she goes and goes and goes.

Aegon

Blushing he whines and nuzzles ur neck pushing in more. “It’s okay love, ittle be okay” he mumbles into your ear.

It doesn’t take him long to push in he’s not all that big in length but he’s definitely thick. Which is the problem he’s stretching u so much and u whine and moan under him.

He’s gentle and needy in his thrusts pulling you into a sloppy kiss as you adjust around him. “You’re doing so good love” he gasps cumming already as he rubs your clit.

Helaena

She blushes and whines hiding her face and you bucking into you fast and sloppy. She’s in her head now, too focused on pleasure. “Sorry, baby” she gasps holding you close.

You wrap your legs around her waist playing with her hair as she gives you a sweet kiss. Humming in delight she focuses more getting out of her own head and concentrating on you.

“Welcome back baby” you whisper and looking down she sees shes cum twice and by the feel of how wet you are you probably have too.

Aemond

He groans throatily smirking against your ear, snapping his hips all the way as you yelp and gasp. “Take it baby, I know you can. It’s your purpose” he husks into your ear.

Blushing you feel him push your legs to your chest going deeper. His thrusts fast and hard as her moans and groans his balls slapping against your ass.

[hayakawalove]

Test of Love (Chapter Four)

Chapter Four

All Chapters

Summary: You decide to forgive Suguru, it's too hard -not- to.

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! I really can't wait to start writing nasty smut for this fic. I really appreciate the comments!

CW: Fem Reader, AFAB Reader

W/C: 5,098

Credit to @benkeibear for the banner

Your class was running you ragged. When Maki wasn’t yelling at the top of her lungs, you heard Panda breaking desks. Calling it a migraine would be putting it lightly. Your skin prickled at the sight of the second years shoving each other, arguing about something or the other. You loved being a teacher, you really did, but damn if they didn’t make it hard sometimes. You plaster on a fake smile and grab Maki and Panda by the scruffs of their necks, digging your fingers in tighter the more they wiggled in your hold. 

“Stop fighting before I tie you to a tree and leave you to make up with each other.” You try to contain your anger but it leaks out in every syllable. 

“She started it!” 

“Why would I stop when-“ 

Your feet are moving before Maki can finish her sentence. You loved them to death but they were always doing something to rile you up. It wasn’t on purpose, hopefully. Panda was just Panda and Maki was just Maki. 

The harsh heat of the sun beats down on your skin as you fasten the rope across their bodies. Panda looks deflated as he sits on one side of the tree while Maki is holding back a snarl on the other side. 

“When I come back the both of you better have figured something out and apologized to each other.” You step away and admire your handiwork. 

“I’m better sure that qualifies as child abuse.” Satoru walks up to you, looking towards the tree. 

“Yeah, well, everything we do counts as child abuse.” 

Plus you weren’t doing it to hurt them. If anything you were doing it to help them. Especially Panda; Maki looked as if she was two seconds away from tearing him limb from limb. It was something she could’ve, and would’ve, done. You definitely didn’t want to have to be the one to explain that to Yaga. You were not about to be put on trial for negligence. 

You face Satoru and feel a different type of heat crawl up your cheeks. Memories from the night you spent together flood through your brain. His tongue dragging on your skin, teeth sinking into your flesh, it was hard to focus on what he was saying as you stared at his beautiful pink lips. 

Satoru says your name, jutting his face closer to yours. The close proximity causes your heart to stutter as you turn your head, unable to look him in the eye. 

“Are you even listening to me?” 

His cologne overwhelms your senses. Cedar wood and pine. There’s butterflies in your stomach as you put on a brave face to look towards him. When you turn to him he grins, dropping his eyes to your lips before back up again. 

“You weren’t listening. Maybe you just want me for my body.” Satoru teases, before stepping away to his full height. 

“Well I certainly don’t want you for your personality.” You quip, feeling the temperature drop back down once he wasn’t invading your privacy. 

“You and Suguru are so cruel to me.” Satoru feigns disappointment. 

At the drop of the black haired males name the space between you two falls silent. You hadn’t spoken about him in several days, not since the night Satoru and you shared. 

Satoru’s the first to break the silence. 

“Have you talked to him yet?” 

You were sort of dreading that question. Because the truth was, you hadn’t talked to him. You didn’t know how. There wasn’t a rule book for this situation. Were you supposed to reach out first? It appeared like he was stepping back to give you breathing room, but you didn’t want breathing room anymore. You wanted to be suffocated by him. 

“No.” You speak under your breath, looking away again. 

You can tell Satoru understands. Whether or not he agrees with you is still up for debate. He appeared unbothered by the situation. It seemed like he thought the whole thing was funny, which you couldn’t really disagree with. It really was absurd, wasn’t it? Plus, you had a hard time believing much would cause a real fight between the two. Sure, they bickered, but you knew true fights were few and far between. 

Satoru hums and follows you back to your classroom. His students were out on a mission. Yuuta and Inumaki  had just left, effectively freeing up your schedule. There had been no word of the recent attacks lately, it appeared like the new strategy that Yaga came up with was working. For now, at least. 

“For what it’s worth, he won’t stop talking about you. It’s even starting to annoy me, and I’m the annoying one.” Satoru speaks and sits on a chair in front of your desk. 

You make yourself comfortable behind the table, getting your things ready to go. 

“I’ve never seen him so distraught before.” Satoru goes on, grabbing one of your desk decorations, fiddling with it before you snatch it from his hand. 

“Why is he the distraught one?” You ask, trying to not pay attention to the churning feeling in your gut. 

Satoru shrugs and kicks his legs up on your desk, ignoring the dirty look you give him. You couldn’t tell if he was trying to piss you off. 

“Good question. Probably because the guilt is destroying him from the inside out. Or something.” 

Satoru was dramatic. 

Even so, part of you believed what he was saying. 

You sigh and cross your arms on the desk, laying your head down. Suguru was nice, there was no doubt in your mind that he felt bad for what happened. At first, you enjoyed it a little bit, knowing that he felt bad because what he did was wrong. But that turned into guilt. You weren’t sure which of you was more remorseful now. 

“If he had it his way he would be smothering you. He’s like that, you know. But he respects space so he isn’t going full mother hen on you yet. Although the second you come around he definitely won’t hold back again.” 

You tap your forehead against your arms several times. Smothering you, huh? You’re reminded of the actions he did on your date, the ones that struck you as parental. It would make sense if he was overwhelming. Not that that was a bad thing. 

You almost had to laugh, the two men were so opposite. Suguru was overwhelming on the inside but tried to hold back, while Satoru was overwhelming on the outside, but was more reserved the closer you got. 

“Where do I even start, Satoru?” You peek out over your arm, catching a glimpse of a smile when you say his name. 

It was still taking you time to get used to it, but you liked the way it rolled off your tongue. 

You liked his name. 

“Don’t know. Whenever I piss him off I just annoy him till he gets over it. He doesn’t piss me off very much so I’m not sure what I’d do. But you could just start over with him. A redo.” 

A redo? 

You think about the idea for a moment before you hear your name being called from the courtyard. Satoru remains seated as you stand up, making your way towards the doors. Maki is yelling at you but you’re having a hard time hearing her. When you get closer, you see that the two of them look much more calm. Maybe it was a bit harsh, but it worked. 

“We forgave each other, can you let us go now?” She yells. 

You crouch and begin working the knot, thoughts floating back to Suguru. 

After work, you should do something after work. 

When you stand back up you stagger behind your students, head in the clouds as you think about Suguru. Pink covers your vision as flower petals dance to the ground in front of you. The splash of color reminds you of the butterfly wings you saw with him. It was such a magical date, you truly hadn’t been on anything like it. 

The door slams behind you as you enter your classroom and you feel your heart sink. Satoru had left. It was a shame, you were enjoying his company. You couldn’t be that upset, though. He was constantly being dragged away for missions. You needed to leave soon anyway, so you tried not to let it get to you.

~~~

The sun blurs your vision as you make your way to the old bookstore. You planned on stopping in after work to gather your thoughts before heading to Suguru’s (and Satoru’s). You find you always did your best thinking when in the confines of the book shelves. An overwhelming smell of old paper and black ink hits your nose as you walk through the threshold. It was quiet today, everyone was probably enjoying the nice weather outside instead of staying in to read. 

You wander the halls and find yourself down an aisle, looking for a specific book. Your eyes glaze over the different titles until you find the one you’re looking for. ‘In the beginning’. It was a book Suguru had told you about over text late one night. He said it wasn’t nearly as good as the one you were reading previously, but that it was still decent. You wrap your fingers around the spine and pull it out, clutching it in your hand while you go to your favorite seat. 

It was the same seat that you had met him in. You plop down and open the book, turning to the first page. You allow the words to whisk you away. 

The space around you is completely silent, save for the sounds of the fragile paper between your fingers. You don’t notice a man walking up to you. 

“That’s a good book.” A voice softer than silk reaches your ears.

Hold on.

You know that voice. 

You tear your eyes from the page to see a man standing in front of you. Hair deeper than obsidian and an angular face tilted down towards you. 

Suguru. 

“I think so,” you attempt to keep your voice steady. 

You’re reminded of your first meeting with Suguru in the cozy building. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just saw the book you were reading.” 

“It’s okay, in fact someone recommended this to me.” 

His lips twitch into a slight grin as you play along with him. A redo, Satoru’s voice plays back in your head. 

“Is that so?” He questions, sitting on the chair across from you. 

The same chair he sat in when you met. 

“Yeah, the guy has really good taste.” 

Suguru’s mouth parts as his tongue drags across his bottom lip, the action slow, vaguely reminding you of the night you saw him last. 

“What’s your name?”

You say your name, watching as his eyes glisten at the sound. 

“You have a pretty name.” His arms rest lazily on the chair, tendons littering his hands. “My name is Suguru.” 

There’s butterflies in your stomach now, just like the butterflies you saw with him at the observatory. The discussion feels like a carbon copy of the initial one you had, minus your feelings. Back then, you were nervous. But now, you were only giddy. 

“What is it you do for a living?” He asks. 

“Actually I’m a teacher.”

“Really? I’m curious if you know my boyfriend. His name is Gojo Satoru.” 

Your face cracks into a grin as Suguru opens himself up. In addition to him revealing Satoru, you could also see a wave of blue surrounding his form. Cursed energy. 

“I do, for better or worse.” 

Suguru lets out a chuckle at your words, crescent eyes locked closed as his chest rumbles. His laugh was soothing. 

You were so glad he came up to you first. Even though you were planning on going to his house after this, you still weren’t sure what you were going to say. Obviously he would know what to say. The world around you disappears as your gaze focuses on Suguru. 

It was comforting to be around Suguru. It was hard to be without him, even if you hadn’t known each other that long. 

Even though you enjoyed Satoru, and you really did enjoy Satoru, it felt right to have the two of them balance each other out. 

“I hope I’m not coming off too strong, but would you be interested in going out?” He asks. 

Yes, yes, a hundred times yes. 

“I don’t know, would your boyfriend mind?” 

“Something tells me it wouldn’t bother him.” 

You grin. 

“What’s your number?” You say this, knowing full well his contact is already in your phone. 

He reads it to you and you go to his contact, finally saving it under his name. You read your number out to him, no doubt in your mind he already has it. 

“I’m looking forward to it.” He slides his phone in his pocket. 

You watch as he departs, until you can no longer see him. You should be getting home too. 

~~~

Your feet hit the pavement as you start your walk home. You were relieved that Suguru reached out to you. You were hoping he would text you soon for details about the date. You wondered what the two of you would get up to. The last time you saw him things got heated very quickly. It felt like things had reset though, and you were glad for it. You wanted to do things right this time. 

Although you didn’t want to forget everything that happened.

Suguru’s laughter, smell, and the way his voice sounded pressed up against your ear filled your mind. 

You see a single butterfly overhead, a rare occurrence for the bustling streets of the city, and you stop in your tracks. 

You couldn’t wait for him to text you. 

Your feet move before you have a say, and you’re running to Satoru and Suguru’s apartment. You were still by the bookstore, so it would have been faster to catch a cab, but you weren’t thinking straight. 

You had wasted time being mad at him. You needed to see him again. All rational thoughts leave your head.

You stop running after thirty minutes, once their tall building stands before you. It was a bit daunting. You force yourself to step inside the building, and goosebumps immediately crawl over your skin. There was a sheen of sweat layering your forehead and your hair was a crumbled mess. The attendant eyes you, only looking away when you meet her gaze. You looked crazy. You almost thought about turning right back around, the absurdity of the situation hitting you like a freight train. 

No, you were here and you were going to do this. 

Your feet make their way to the elevator, and you thank god when it opens and there’s no one inside. You feel antsy as the elevator carries you to their floor, mind flailing as you try to come up with something to say. 

I know we just saw each other, but I want to see you again. 

What if he wasn’t home yet? That would be awkward. 

You walk towards their apartment, your fist knocking the door once you reach it. 

You’re still out of breath as the door creaks open. Suguru’s standing there, brows raised in surprise as he looks down at you. 

“Who is it?” Satoru calls from behind. 

Suguru says your name, watching as you breathe hard. 

“You here for part two?” Satoru says, a playful tone filling his words. 

Suguru’s face scrunches up as he looks behind him before turning back towards you. 

“What’s up?” 

“I want to talk to you.” You pant. 

Suguru steps out, closing the door behind him to gain some semblance of privacy. You knew Satoru probably had his ear pressed against the door, if there was anything that bugged him it was not being privy to some information. 

“I’m sorry for overreacting to what happened. I was stupid. And I just wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date soon, like tomorrow.” Your words rush out, watching as an indecipherable expression lights up Suguru’s face. 

He stops you, placing a finger underneath your chin. He tilts your face up and plants a kiss on your lips. 

“I would love to go out tomorrow.”

Your hands grip his shirt, biting your cheek as relief washes over you. 

~~~

When you meet Suguru for your second first date it was dusk. A pink orange hue had settled over the city, the bustling metropolis more quiet than usual. The sky reminds you of cotton candy and your thoughts drift to Satoru, his sweet tooth making a smile break out on your face. 

“What’s got you smiling?” Suguru breaks you from your trance when he reaches you.  

You look up at him, eyes trailing down his unwavering figure. His hair was half up half down, and he wore lazy clothes with a jacket. You liked this look on him. 

“I was just thinking of Satoru.” 

Suguru stops short in front of you, offering his arm up. You graciously accept, threading your elbow around his. A smile quirks on his lips as the two of you start off. 

“Thinking of another man on our date?” He’s poking fun at you. 

You nudge him with your shoulder, and your ear picks up on soft laughter escaping his lips. The two of you decided on dessert, agreeing that you deserved as much after a long day of work. 

Your feet carry you down a sidewalk until you reach a small dessert shop. Cakes, cookies, and ice cream were advertised on the windows, the thought of it making your mouth water. 

It’s relatively slow when you step inside. There’s several families and a group of friends, but all of them are keeping to themselves. The sweet scent of sugar fills your senses, fueling the excitement that was beginning to boil in your stomach. It seemed like such an odd place for him to take you. Honestly, it was more fitting for an idea for Satoru to pitch, not his black haired counterpart. 

You stroll up to the counter, eyes the size of the moon as you glance down at the display of sweet treats. The cakes were looking the most appealing, so you decide on that. You lift a finger up to point to a triple chocolate cake, your body shimmying slightly as the worker slices you a piece. You think you see Suguru out of the corner of your eye watching you, but you decide not to say anything. There wasn’t much of a point in getting embarrassed in front of him, he had already seen so many sides of you. Suguru requests a slice of vanilla cake and pays, shortly following you to a table in the back of the shop. 

You don’t feel nearly as nervous as you did when you had your first date. There was already this calm understanding between the two of you (something that probably happened after you grinded against him in the club). 

The two of you talk about your days, the conversation flowing just as easily as it did whenever you talked to Satoru. Suguru told you he was off today, and spent most of the morning cleaning his apartment. 

“I was a bit surprised you didn’t reach out first, Satoru said you tended to be smothering.” You laugh to yourself, sliding your fork through the cake. 

It tears like paper, the texture moist and fluffy. Homemade chocolate icing decorated the outside, spirals printed into the cake. 

“Did he?” Suguru asks rhetorically, crossing a leg over his other, taking a bite of his dessert. 

“He did. Although I’m a bit surprised. I would have thought he would be the smothering one, just based on his personality type. But at times he seems a bit guarded.” 

Suguru remains quiet as you speak, his eyes remaining downcast as he thinks. 

“He is. He just isn’t used to opening up around people. From what I hear though, he has no problem talking to you.” 

You dig your teeth into your bottom lip and grin, dragging the fork to your mouth. The dessert melts onto your tongue, tainting your lips brown. 

“I would like to think so. I mean, he’s not always guarded. He told me he gets needy after-“ you stop yourself, staring into your cake. You drag your eyes up and see Suguru watching you, an intrigued look on his face. After looking down once more you finish your sentence. “Sex.” 

Suguru’s brow lifts as his eyes stay steady on you. The hair on the back of your neck raises. 

“When’d he say that?”

Your eyes are glued to the table in front of you as your body heat rises twenty degrees. When did it get so hot? You can feel Suguru’s eyes staring into you, no doubt trying to read your mind. You’re really glad he can’t, because if he could he would see your night with Satoru replaying over and over. 

It wasn’t that you were afraid of telling Suguru you and Satoru had sex (sort of), he knew you were also seeing him. Hell, he almost had sex with you first. So why did it feel like you were caught red handed? 

“Oh um, a couple days ago.” 

Suguru’s head tilts as he continues looking at you, obviously not satisfied with your answer. You feel a bit like a mouse, with Suguru seeming like a cat who had his gaze set on you. 

“How’d that come up?” 

Surely he was fucking with you. He knew exactly what happened. Satoru must’ve told him, right? The fucker couldn’t keep anything to himself, you wouldn’t be surprised if Satoru bragged to Suguru as soon as he could. 

“When we,” you fiddle with your fingers, unable to meet his eyes. 

You were an adult for Christ's sake, so why did you feel so small under his gaze? 

Those fucking eyes of his. 

Suguru lets out a chuckle and raises his fork to his mouth. Your chest feels lighter at the break in tension, your shoulders sagging in relief. He takes one more bite before pushing his plate towards you. 

“Come on, try it.” 

You look up at him and grin, grateful he was letting you off the hook. You pierce your fork in his cake, dipping it in your mouth. The vanilla compliments the chocolate well, the mixture making your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“You can have the rest of it. If not, I’m just gonna give it to Satoru, he practically begged me to let him join us but I told him you weren’t ready for that yet,” Suguru rests his head on his hand, watching you eat. “You aren’t, right?” 

That is what you told Satoru. You wanted to take it slow, and enjoy your time with each man separately before diving head first into a polyamorous relationship. You probably should wait, it was already overwhelming to spend time with them one at a time, you weren’t sure how you would be able to handle both at once. 

You did, however, know you wanted to. 

“Yeah, not yet at least. I do want to, it’s just,” you cut yourself off. 

How are you supposed to tell him that both of their presences make you feel like you’re drowning? 

“I get it.” Suguru’s voice soothes you. 

Of course he would. You remember what Satoru had to say about Suguru. Nice and understanding. They were the same words you would use to describe him as well. It was sort of weird, though. For years you had heard small bits about this man through Satoru or Yaga. 

You knew he would sometimes snore when he was starting to get sick. You knew he was smarter than Satoru in all subjects besides math and science. You knew what his breakfast order was. But you just had never known him. You never knew what he looked like, how he smelled, how your name sounded off his lips. 

But now you did. And you were so grateful. 

You nudge the plate forward back towards Suguru, feeling as though your stomach may burst. There were several bites left, and you were sure that Satoru would chide Suguru for not leaving him more. 

“I can’t eat anymore, you might just have to roll me out of here.” You rub your hand across your stomach, leaning back into the chair. 

Suguru smiles at that. You’ve decided you really liked his smile. 

It’s dark when the two of you step outside, a cool breeze causing a chill to run up your spine. You shiver, an action that doesn’t go unnoticed by Suguru. He shrugs off his jacket and carefully drapes it over your shoulders, and moves a piece of hair out of your face, sliding it behind your ear. Smothering. The word runs through your mind again. Suguru was doting, that much was obvious. But you could see how it may come off as overbearing. You wouldn’t mind being smothered by Suguru. You doubt Satoru minded it either, in fact you were sure it must have contributed to the reason Satoru was a spoiled brat. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” He squeezes your hand. 

You rest your head against his arm as the two of you walk back to your house. You had only gone out to eat, yet somehow it had felt magical. Not only did it feel magical, but it felt normal. You liked that about Suguru. Being with him felt like you were in a fairytale, and at the same time you felt like an ordinary girl. You never spoke about work with him, he allowed you to just be. 

Not that you hated that about Satoru. In fact, you quite liked it. It was nice having someone who understood you and the work you were doing, someone you could bitch to whenever Yaga got on your nerves. They really did balance each other out well. 

The moon lights up your path as you walk besides Suguru, the low sounds of the city a low buzz in your ears. It was never quiet here. You didn’t really mind it. You probably would’ve been paranoid if it was quiet. Anytime you had a mission in a small town it felt like you were waiting for something to jump out at you. 

You decide you want to hear Suguru’s voice some more. 

“Hey Suguru?” 

He hums, eyes flickering down at you before returning to the sidewalk. 

“What do you like about Satoru?” You’ve been meaning to ask. 

For years you heard Satoru talk about Suguru, so you were interested in hearing what the other man had to say. 

Suguru stops and looks around a bit dramatically. He’s looking at the bushes that line the pavement, and over the parked cars. 

“What’re you doing?” You stop and watch him. 

“Seeing if Satoru’s hiding somewhere. Did he put you up to asking that?” 

You start to laugh, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. You close your eyes as you chuckle. It really is something that Satoru would ask. 

When you open your eyes you see Suguru looking down at you, watching as you laugh. Your heart skips a beat at the way his eyes shine in the moonlight. A soft smirk is painted on his face while he looks at you. 

“No, no he didn’t. I just wanna know. He’s talked about you a lot, you know.” 

Suguru dips his head and turns forward again, starting to walk. You follow after him and look up, watching as he talks. 

“He’s just Satoru. It’s hard to explain. He’s annoying, noisy, cocky-” Suguru lists off. 

“Pretty sure I asked what you like about him.” You stop him. 

“-but he's also intelligent, funny, and caring. He cares so much for people, even though he has a weird way of showing it.” Suguru uses a tone you've never quite heard him use before. 

“I never really felt understood by people. I come from a family of nonsorcerers, so for a while it just sort of felt like I was the only one who existed. I love my family, but they never really understood me, still don’t.” 

You come from a family of nonsorcerers too, so you knew the feeling all too well. You were so damn lonely as a kid. 

“And then when I met Satoru it was like my world shifted. Not only was he a sorcerer as well, but he was the strongest one. Or, on track to become the strongest one at least. I didn’t feel alone anymore. And I haven’t ever since.” 

You feel weightless at his words. The love the two of them had for each other was unbreakable. The kind of love you could only read about, the kind of love you weren’t sure really existed until now. 

Your heart aches at the possibility of them loving you in the same way. It was something you had dreamed about since you were little. They might not love you in the exact same way, but they might love you just as much. You begin to feel dizzy at the prospect. 

Your apartment comes into view and you feel a little sad that your date was over. You would be seeing him again, you remind yourself. 

“Don’t tell him I said any of that, though. His head is big enough as is.” Suguru murmurs. 

You laugh and agree. Satoru would not shut up if you told him what Suguru said. Something told you that Satoru knew how much Suguru loved him, though. 

Your feet stop as you reach your apartment. Suguru faces you and smiles as you begin to take off his jacket. 

“Keep it, what if your apartment is cold too?” 

You bite back a smile, wrapping it around you once more. He wanted you to keep it. 

“Smart, I wouldn’t want to catch a cold in my house.” 

“I would never forgive myself if you did.” 

Suguru’s eyes lock with yours. He leans down to place a kiss on your forehead. Warmth blooms across your skin, crawling down your body. He pulls back and pushes his lips against yours, the taste of him seeping through you. He tasted like vanilla. 

Your eyes flutter open when he steps away. You tug his jacket around you tighter, waving as he turns to go home.

Those two boys were going to be the death of you. 

Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss, @dinolvrrr, @kimi01985, @constawrites, @spookysoowpprince,

@reosnagi, @faerie-soirxx, @platrom, @oownowonwoo, @megumisdivinedogs,

@sakui1, @maskedpacific, @riri-twix

If you want to be added to the taglist just let me know, and specify if you only want to be on the taglist for this fic or all my works

[skibidilando]

A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)

Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx

Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk

Lando x quadrant fem reader

Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..

Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)

Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.

Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.

Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.

Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.

Lando: all good

Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.

That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.

"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.

"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".

Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.

rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".

"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.

"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.

you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.

what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.

"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but while walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.

why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.

You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..

sorry its a short one x

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Endgame: The Book Report

So here it is. It kinda goes off the rails towards the end. That's the problem with having to drink through this: it's very easy to lose your train of thought, so you end up rambling.

As always, the TL;DR first. I'm goign to use headings and subheadings in the report below for easier skimming.

There aren't many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom but it's still not good.

Scobie definitely holds a grudge for the way he was treated after Finding Freedom published.

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Scobie and the Sussexes don't understand how business works.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

Rage against the machine and media

Not many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

There isn't a whole lot that's new. Most of the book (maybe 75%/80%) is things we already know about because they were covered extensively by the media when it happened.

Sources. He never names names, so the whole thing is written based on anonymous sources and it doesn't seem reliable. Not to mention, some of the sources read like it might be the same person, but Scobie is treating them as different people so it looks like he has a ton of sources. It suggests, to me, that he doesn't have the kind of access he claims to (which is probably true. There was a leak a couple months ago by one of the royal reporters that Scobie once called them begging for contacts and sources because no one was talking to him) and he's scrambling to cover it up.

Piers Morgan. Scobie confirms that Piers is close to Camilla. They grew up near each other and have fond memories of their hometown that they’ve connected over. There’s a 10-year age gap between them so it’s more like they have people/experiences in common than they played together. Scobie is careful not to say that he thinks Camilla gives information to Piers but he makes it clear that Piers’s loyalty has not gone unrecognized by Camilla.

The Bee, The Wasp, and The Fly. Harry's villains in Spare, which he nicknamed so he wouldn't be sued could speak more openly about them. I remember a lot of guessing about who these were but I can't recall if anyone confirmed their names. Well, Scobie does.

The Bee is Edward Young, whom Harry hates because “Young abused his gatekeeping power, gaslighting him when it came to passing along important messages about his lawsuits to the media, and then prohibiting access to his grandmother when Harry needed her the most, all under the guise of ‘protecting the sovereign’.” Harry and Scobie also believe that Young truly loathed Meghan and “was slow to help find patronages and active roles” for her after the wedding. “Sources say he ‘dithered’ for eight months before nudging Queen Elizabeth II to appoint Meghan as the royal patron for the National Theatre.” (So Meghan is incapable of doing her own work to find suitable charities and patronages? So much for hitting the ground running like she claimed.)

The Wasp is Clive Alderton. He's Charles's crony.

The Fly is Simon Case, whom Harry sees as the cause for his and William’s relationship breaking. In Harry’s perspective, Case made moves that prioritized William’s role as heir without consideration for Harry. Some of Case’s actions felt like they were made to promote William at Harry’s expense (for instance, Harry believes Case pushed British media to attack the Sussexes over their travel by private flight and organized the Cambridges’ commercial Flybe flight to Balmoral with the express purpose of being able to tip off the press). 

Rota System. Scobie describes how the rota works. It is the most complete explanation of how the rota works that I can recall reading in royal books and I can't see them being very happy he pulled the curtain back. (More on this in the 'Media' section further down.)

Courtiers - Scobie explains that in the palace lexicon, a courtier is “a press official or private secretary who manages and offers advice to working royals, strategizes engagements, and releases information.” These are Diana’s “men in gray suits.”

The bombshell - Scobie implies that Harry accused Christian Jones of either hacking his and Meghan’s phones/office(s) and feeding information to Dan Wootton at The Sun or facilitating access for Wootton/The Sun to hack their phones/offices, leading to Wootton’s Megxit scoops.

Scobie doesn’t say that specifically and he’s careful to paint Harry with sympathy but it’s there between the lines. After describing what happened, Scobie writes that Harry was surprised by the Palace’s response, that they were angry at him, not Jones, and that they had arranged a lawyer for Jones (which is, to me, the first subtle hint that Harry wasn’t just complaining and had actually made some kind of accusation). Scobie goes further to say that the Palace interpreted Harry’s complaints as a threat to sue so they lowered the boom and then Harry realized how badly he fucked up so he did the classic “you’re overreacting, that’s not what I said.”

The timeline is a little unclear but from Scobie’s writing, Harry’s “report” to higher authorities of his concerns about Jones and The Sun happened in April 2020 after “starting” in January 2020 at the Sandringham Summit when Harry apparently spoke to William about this. Now, this is where I get a little “be fucking for real.” Let’s be clear: the Megxit statement was Harry announcing his intent to quit and the Sandringham Summit was the BRF saying “we accept your resignation, your last day is X” (which ended up being March 9th, the Commonwealth Service). Which means that by the time April rolled around and Harry made this “report,” he was no longer an employee of the firm; he was, for all intent and purpose, a disgruntled ex-employee with a grudge. Of course the Palace is going to come down hard on him, because they’re going to protect the person who is still there working for them. 

Harry (and Scobie) seem to believe that this “report” of his concerns with The Sun is directly connected to the palace’s decision in July 2020 to cut off all the financial support he and Meghan were still getting from the Crown, including the official private security that Charles was paying for. (This is the second subtle hint that his “report” was actually some kind of accusation or threat.) Maybe there is a correlation, maybe there isn’t. But at the end of the day, Harry fucked around and Harry found out.

(Christian Jones comes up again in the Media section.) 

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom, but it's still not good.

Finding Freedom. One of the things everyone roasted Scobie on was all the merching, name-dropping and brand promotion that was in Finding Freedom. He must have learned his lesson because there’s very little of this. In that regard, Endgame isn’t as obnoxious to read.

The Crown. Scobie mentions The Crown a few times and talks about a couple of plot points. It only happens three or four times, but it’s a definite clue that his audience is the casual royal watcher here only for the drama. It’s hard to take him (or anyone, really) serious when he’s compelled to base the veracity of something happening on whether, or how, The Crown covered it.

Editing and fact-checking. The editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) isn’t as bad as in Spare, but Scobie and his team definitely have some mistakes. Someone on that team doesn’t know how to write a list, so there’s a lot of strange clauses and phrases.

With the fact-checking, there are a few glaring errors that close followers/watchers of the royal family will pick up. The most egregious one is this sentence:

During a conversation just hours after the September 19, 2022, funeral of Prince Philip, Harry confronted his father and brother about why nothing was done on Meghan’s behalf.

Philip’s funeral was April 17, 2021, and we know there was a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards. The Queen’s funeral was September 19, 2022, and no one reported a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards, so I don’t think it happened there. (Also William wasn’t talking to Harry by September 2022 - Scobie makes it painfully clear that William was both refusing to see Harry and refusing to take his calls.)

However, if you google Prince Philip’s funeral, you get this:

The truth is that Philip’s funeral was on April 17, 2021. But Philip wasn’t actually buried (i.e., placed in his final resting place) then. That had to wait until The Queen’s funeral, and it was widely announced at the time that he would wait. The Queen and Prince Philip were both interred together on the evening of September 19, 2022, in a private family-only service.

So that’s some very lazy fact-checking. It's Internet 101: Verify, verify, verify.

Other similar instances:

Scobie’s description of The Queen’s return home to London: "Five days into the ten-day period of national mourning, King Charles and Camilla, Queen Consort, received the coffin at RAF Northolt, on the western outskirts of London. It was there the royal family handed over her body to the public she served--Her Majesty then lay in state until the day of her funeral." (Charles and Camilla weren’t at RAF Northolt. They received the coffin at Buckingham Palace - remember, Scobie? When you got the only photograph of the moment because Meghan tipped you off?, and the family didn’t “hand over” The Queen until the following day, Day Six.) (Here’s the livestream from RAF Northolt; go to 25:07 for a view of the receiving party).

Scobie writes that Sara Latham was working for the Sussexes in Summer 2018, but she wasn’t hired until March 2019. (The specific quote is in the Meghan’s Lapdog section below.)

Scobie writes that William “automatically became the Prince of Wales--the Duke of Cornwall in England and the Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew in Scotland” on the Queen’s death and Charles’s accession. William got the Duke of Cornwall and the rest on Charles’s accession. Charles had to bestow Prince of Wales on him.

The second instance of fact-checking that jumps out is Scobie’s own fact-checking on misinformation about Harry and Meghan, yet he perpetuates it against other members of the royal family. Here’s an example. Scobie discusses how News of the World published stories about Harry's drug use as a teenager but then goes on to say:

While Harry has admitted to spending many nights at Highgrove getting high and drunkenly falling into trouble at a local pub in Wiltshire, the story failed to mention that this rebellious time in his life was partly the result of Charles leaving him alone at his country mansion for a majority of the summer in 2002.

But then Scobie gives only partial stories for other royals, conveniently leaving out the pieces that nullify his argument:

It's impossible to forget the time Kensington Palace issued an official statement in defense of Kate after a plastic surgeon had suggested to a newspaper that she, then the Duchess of Cambridge, had 'baby Botox' injections to reduce wrinkles.

and

And who can forget when [Edward and Sophie] was sent to Antigua and Barbados, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Saint Lucia just one month after William and Kate's flop Caribbean tour?

and

“There is even a rumor (one that, surprisingly, sources have confirmed) that Charles likes to have someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him ahead of his bedtime routine.”

The truth is that KP only took action about Kate's baby Botox claims because the surgeon was using her image to promote his practice. And the way Scobie describes the then-Wessex tour of the Caribbean, he means for us to think it was an apology tour after the terribly-received Cambridge tour, but that is not at all the case: the Cambridge tour and the Wessex tour were both announced on the same day, in the same press release. And yes, Charles did once have someone toothpaste his toothbrush, but only when he had a broken arm/wrist and couldn’t do it himself.

Citations. Let me ask you a quick question first. When you read a nonfiction book like this, you expect the author to cite their sources in the text, right? You want the footnotes and the endnotes so you can look up where things are coming from, right? Well, not Scobie! He lumps his sources and citations together in a “credits” section at the end of the book. If you want to know what a source says or which article he’s referencing, good luck. For me, this is terrible practice because it obscures and obfuscates the strength of his work. It calls a lot of questions about the accuracy of his reporting that he can’t properly attribute his quotes, sources, or reference materials and makes the possibility that his entire book is the same handful of anonymous sources more likely.

Strange interludes. Throughout the book, there are strange interludes of, well, history lessons. There are sections on Charles II and William IV, sections about Hamlet and Beckett, and Scobie even discusses Lucy Worlsey’s book on Georgian courtiers (YOU KEEP LUCY WORLSEY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH **Will Smith slap**). I see what he’s doing - he’s trying to connect the issues in the modern House of Windsor with other periods of institutional stability - but it doesn’t really work. It’s awkward. In some places it works better than others, like the piece about Worlsey’s courtiers goes easily with Scobie’s discussion of Charles’s courtiers. But to bring up William IV only to point out how Charles is older than him? It’s clunky.

What exactly is this book? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a cultural interpretation of the modern House of Windsor in the new Carolean age through the lens of media relations. 

Sometimes it’s Scobie’s memoir. He puts himself in the middle of these stories a lot, to the point where it’s like 50% his personal recollection and 50% commentary. We get it, man. You have a fabulous job with access to the kinds of people and events the rest of us can only dream about it. But it’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. Take yourself out of it.

Sometimes it’s an investigative journalism-like expose. It reminds me a lot of the works by the muckrakers, who were working hard to expose corruption and implement reform. There are sections of the book that feels preachy, where Scobie is writing about his ideas for how the palace’s relationship with the media need to change or how their stance on race relations could modernize, and when it’s not accepted or taken seriously, you can feel his anger seeping off the page that no one’s listening to him. 

And sometimes it reads as if it’s been ghostwritten by Meghan and Harry themselves. There are some stories, some quotes, some details–especially post-Megxit–that could only come from them, or people very close to them in California. And you know, given how intensely private Harry and Meghan are, they absolutely consented to those stories being part of Scobie’s book. Scobie tries hard to cover those tracks but it leaks through. Here are some of those quotes/sections:

The next morning, after a further Palace update warned that her doctors were 'concerned for Her Majesty's health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision,’ an insider messaged me to say, 'It's not looking good.' For a multitude of reasons, I hoped the warning would turn out to be false. Arriving at ABC News' offices that Thursday afternoon, I received a text from someone very close to the family. As I caught my breath in the elevator of the Disney-owned building, 'A Spoonful of Sugar' was playing quietly in the background, making a surreal moment even more so. 'Please don't say anything yet, but I think it's happened,' they wrote. I responded with a follow-up, checking that I understood their message correctly. No doubt trying to get confirmation of their own, the source--someone whose word I had come to trust over recent years--didn't reply.

and

[Princess Michael] later apologized for the indiscretion (though never directly to Meghan), but according to sources, the princess still shrugs and wrinkles her lip when the subject comes up. 'I don't think she particularly cared,' a senior royal source told me.

(how would Scobie know she never apologized directly to Meghan?)

and

As the morning sun rises over Santa Barbara, bathing the steep Santa Ynez Mountains, and the Pacific Ocean sparkles with California's trademark glow, the sprawling Sussex compound in the wealthy enclave of Montecito is already popping. With Meghan already preparing a family breakfast in the kitchen, Prince Harry is busy getting the couple's children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, ready for nursery school and toddler playgroup, respectively. Despite the staff on hand to help during the daytime, when Harry and Meghan shift into work mode, the Sussexes keep their mornings as time 'for the family only,' said a source--no staff.

and

The Sussexes' team received correspondence from Buckingham Palace's Keeper of the Privy Purse Sir Michael John Stevens, who informed Harry and Meghan that, as they were no longer working royals or based in Britain, they needed to give up the keys to their royal rental, Frogmore Cottage. Although there were reports to the contrary some months later, I spoke to a source close to the couple on the day they were informed, and there was a clear feeling of shock and disappointment as the news sunk in.

Kate. How Scobie writes of Kate reveals that he may not be as close to the Waleses as he claims:

And now, like Diana, she, too, is the Princess of Wales. It’s a title that carries a huge and extremely important legacy, but sources close to the royal (who, for those wondering, ‘is just as happy being called Kate as she is Catherine’) say she is surprisingly ‘unfazed’ by her new destination.

I’m specifically talking about why he calls her Kate versus Catherine. (And I have issues with “surprisingly ‘unfazed’” too.) Yes, everyone knows that at one point, she was called Kate. But it’s been made very clear that she prefers to be called Catherine. She introduces herself as Catherine. William and the family calls her Catherine. She signs her letters, cards, and tweets as Catherine. She asked her own friends and her own family to call her Catherine. Nobody calls her Kate except the public, and I feel pretty confident in saying that the “call me Kate or Catherine” message was explicitly intended for the general public, because she isn’t going to be all ‘ahem, my name is CATHERINE’ to fourteen-year-old Jennifer who’s so excited to see her, and the press decided to lump themselves into that category because their SEO is tied to ‘Kate.’

But what I’ve noticed is that people in the traditional press are starting to call her Catherine, especially those that write books. The shift seems to have begun when The Queen passed and Kate became The Princess of Wales.

So for Scobie to happily call her Kate and justify it with ‘well she said it’s OK!’ when she very clearly prefers Catherine makes him more uncredible. He can call Meghan by her preferred name. Why can’t he call Kate ‘Catherine’ because she prefers it?

(As for “surprisingly unfazed” - listen. The woman took William back seventeen years ago KNOWING that this was her future. That’s 4 years “pre-engaged” and almost 13 years of marriage, and you’re telling me you’re shocked, just SHOCKED, that she was prepared to be the Princess of Wales? Scobie, please.)

Scobie holds a HUGE grudge about the way he was treated after Finding Freedom.

He’s not Meghan’s lapdog! Much of the criticism Scobie endured from Finding Freedom were allegations of how close he was to Meghan. He denies, denies, denies all through Endgame, and those statements are dripping with scorn and derision. He absolutely hates that people don’t take him seriously because of a perceived connection to Meghan:

The papers would often refer to me, incorrectly, as Harry and Meghan's 'pal,' another lie largely created to delegitimize the details I was sharing from sources close to the couple that often went against narratives that tabloids were reporting.

He goes to great lengths to tell us and make sure we know that he is not close with Harry and Meghan, that he is close to their communication aides/staff. That may or may not be true, but it certainly does not help his case when he keeps saying things like:

During the peak of [Meghan's racism on-slaught and Scobie's social media pile-on] in late summer 2018, I received a call that I thought was from the couple's head of communications at the time, Sara Latham. We had been texting back and forth about an upcoming royal engagement. 'Hi, Omid!' a female voice chirped. It was different to Latham's northwestern American accent. 'It's Meghan.' I put my iced coffee down, not quite sure if the call was a prank. 'We saw your name keep coming up on the phone...and I just wanted to say high, see how you're doing.' Sara had mentioned to her that I was dealing with my own online harassment and threats.

and

When the couple left their children in California with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, and a nanny to visit the United Kingdom and Germany for five days of engagements in September 2022, neither knew that the quick-fire trip would result in a two-week return to royal drama. Neither did I. During this visit, I joined some of their engagements and watched as Meghan gave a speech to teenagers and young adults at the One Young World summit in Manchester.

and

That summer, Christian Jones--who remained at Kensington Palace to oversee all the Cambridges' media efforts--messaged me out of the blue to say it would no longer be appropriate to socialize. Another aide later told me that William had requested this. As we approached 2020, I felt the growing strains on my working relationship with Kensington Palace, who were also much more guarded when it came to their own communication with the Sussex team at Buckingham Palace. I was still invited to the private briefings and announcements but, two months after returning from an October tour with the Sussexes in southern Africa, one of William's aides revealed that William felt 'uncomfortable' with my relationship with the Sussex team.

He’s so close to the Sussexes that Meghan has personally spoken to him, that he was invited to cover their fauxyal tour in September 2022, and William himself is uncomfortable with the access he has to Harry and Meghan. And he doesn’t see how or why people may think he’s in Meghan’s pocket?

It’s very clear that Scobie thinks of himself to be a consummate journalism professional, a neutral third-party whose only loyalty is to truth and fact. According to himself, he can report a Cambridge/Wales versus Sussex issue fairly, accurately, and evenly, but the way he describes certain events taking place tells us that part of his dislike for William is because William never gave Scobie the opportunity to prove it; William, or William’s team, saw Scobie getting closer to the Sussexes and nipped his “both sides of the fence” strategy in the bud. This, I suspect, is why he’s so offended when people accuse him of being close to Meghan and Harry - because by being so closely linked to the Sussexes, he lost preferential treatment from the Cambridges and that absolutely reflects poorly on him. 

Lost access. Scobie is very transparent and very clear that he lost sources and access to Kensington Palace several times because of his “loyalty” to the Sussexes, most especially after Finding Freedom published:

Owing to a unique pool of sources and a refusal to follow the crowd, I quickly became a trusted confidante for many in and around the younger family--a true insider. But all that changed in late 2020 after the publication of my first book, Finding Freedom, about Harry and Meghan's whirlwind journey in, and out of, the House of Windsor...The fear of damaging revelations scared the family and angered powerful Palace operatives, and it also put a mark on my back...I'm still in the mix, but let's just say I'm no longer the journalist who some in the family, or the more royalist-leaning correspondents, are thrilled to see at engagements. Having moved away from playing the Palace game of give-and-take to maintain access, I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution.

While he’s mostly bitter that Finding Freedom cost him sources and affiliation, he also sees it as a badge of honor, arrogantly boasting:

I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution. Why? Because I know--and share--too much. For four years, some of the most damaging in Windsor history, I witnessed the full scope of the deceptions, malice, and defensive posturing of an unstable family business and an institution in decline. I saw how far they would go to save their own skin, the deep corrosion at the heart of the royal establishment, and I've witnessed the human damage done because of it."

and

Parts of this book will burn my bridges for good. But to tell the full story, there’s no holding back. Not anymore. We’re in the endgame. (Isn’t this the same speech Ironman gives in Avengers: Endgame?)

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Overly sympathetic to the Sussexes. We all knew that Endgame would be clearly biased in favor of the Sussexes since that’s where Scobie has drawn battle lines, but the extent to which he gives Harry grace and sympathy is beyond astounding and, at times, beggars belief.

For instance, one of the constant lines throughout the book is how frequently Harry keeps trying to reach out to Charles and William to have “conversations.” In Scobie’s world, Harry is completely absolved of anything he may or may not have done to upset Charles and anger William, that the lack of relationship between Charles/William and Harry is completely on Charles and William because Harry is always communicating, always reaching out, always wants to talk, always available for a call. Scobie makes it clear that Harry (and Meghan) expect apologies and accountability. But where is Harry and Meghan taking accountability and making apologies for what they did? There’s a fundamental inability for any of them on “Team Sussex” to realize that if they truly desire a conversation and apologies, then they need to apologize first; doing so would make it clear to Charles and William that they’re serious about resolving these issues. 

Except I think they know that. The way Scobie phrases some of this seems to hint that the Sussexes know being able to have this conversation means they need to take accountability for their own behavior/actions and apologize to Charles and William. But they won’t because they thrive on the attention and drama that making these demands every quarter brings them. It’s the only way they have been able to reliably and consistently stay in the news.

And one of the more infuriating comments Scobie makes is this one:

One is left to wonder if William of Anglesey or William the air ambulance pilot would have left his sibling out in the cold in the same way.

Why is the broken brotherhood all on William? Why is it exclusively related to William coming to terms with his status in the family? Why isn’t there equal accountability on Harry, who takes such pride and ownership in being a soldier, who’s talked about the guilt of having to leave my guys behind? If William of Anglesey or William the Air Ambulance Pilot wouldn’t leave Harry out in the cold, then Scobie needs to equally ask: Would Captain Harry Wales have abandoned his brother and left him behind?

Bias against William and Kate. We also knew that Endgame would be a smear job against William and Kate. Scobie doesn’t let us down. He delights in pointing out how awful William is to be thinking about a future without Charles (forgetting that Charles did the same thing to The Queen, and also when The Queen was much younger than Charles is now). He’s thrilled to paint William as a ruthless bully in the way he manages his staff and how his staff is equally ruthless in the way they engage/interact with other staffs, especially in communications and media relations.

What surprised me is that Scobie isn’t as venomous as he usually is in his coverage of her, which often is rooted in the relationship between Kate and Meghan. He does get his digs in, don’t get me wrong:

He calls her workshy and lazy without saying the words directly: “Where other senior royals are out and about several times a week…Kate has long maintained a smaller work schedule that helped her check off the required royal boxes while saving time for her roles as a mother and wife.”

He reinforces the “Carole is the master schemer” rumor: “Carole saw that the pretty and grounded Kate was ready to carry the family name further to the top…The Middleton strategy involved more than just aristocratic affectation–Carole calculatingly placed Kate right at the center of young Prince William’s world….Carole set things up, and Kate took it the rest of the way.”

He mentions the “plastic princess designed to breed” article.

He says that Kate’s Hold Still project was the same thing as Meghan’s Hubb Community cookbook. (On the surface they are similar, yes, but Meghan slapped her name on the cookbook and took credit for everything whereas Kate was involved with the Hold Still book from Day One with the initial contest and took credit only for the actual introduction she wrote, letting the community own the actual content.)

He brings up the unfriendliness with Meghan: “She spent more time talking about Meghan than talking to her…Kate has jokingly shivered when Meghan’s name has come up around her”.

And of course, it's not a smear job until the Rose rumors are addressed. Don't worry. They're here too.

There’s plenty more where this comes from, but Scobie’s overall portrayal of Kate is that he sees her as a victim to the palace machinery who survived on the basis of being willing to submit fully to the “palace personality makeover.” She has succeeded where Meghan, Diana, and Sarah failed because she was willing to be trained (why, Scobie claims, The Queen liked her) and she had William’s protection to keep the monarchy from corrupting her. It’s an interesting spin that I didn’t expect from Scobie, but he takes it too far with a metaphor that the Palace has stifled her individuality: 

"Here's the thing about [the weeping blue cedar Kate planted at an event in 2019]: It's naturally slow-growing and requires adequate space for its sculptural branches and cascading needles. But if there is too much pruning, or the space around it is too restricted, the tree ends up taking on an odd shape and loses the character that made it so special in the first place."

Because in blaming it all on the Palace, Scobie conveniently leaves out any accountability for himself or the press in the way they treated, and have, at times, mocked Kate, such as:

Some journalists who have been approached by publishers to author biographies about the Princess of Wales have turned down the chance. 'I'd barely be able to do a chapter, let alone an entire book,' one joked to me. (Even so, a Kate book would sell like gangbusters. Missed opportunity if you ask me.)

and

[M]ainstream coverage of Kate in the British papers is overwhelmingly positive, often bordering on infantilizing the princess, with articles marveling at her ability to perform the simplest of tasks (think enthusiastic reporting about kicking a soccer ball or flipping a pancake or how amazing it is that she can assume a perfect 'princess pose' in photographs).

Scobie seems unable to realize that the reason Kate has retreated “further into” the palace machinery is because the press keeps pushing her into it. She has kept her individuality and her personality and her “Kate”-ness, but it’s reserved only for those close to her and only for the general public that genuinely cares for her. The “palace persona” that Scobie sees her in is the elevated version of herself she presents to the press. And why wouldn't she let them see who she really is? They mock her and belittle her any chance they get!

The hypocrisy, overall. It’s just exhausting. Scobie plays everyone against each other, sometimes even contradicting his own stories.

We can be ageist but not racist - discriminating against Lady Susan Hussey is okay because she’s eighty years old and that disqualifies her from public service.

It’s okay for Harry to complain but not William or Charles.

It’s okay for people to not know who the Earl and Countess of Wessex are but everyone in the whole damn world must know who Oprah is.

It’s okay for Charles to plan his future but not William.

It’s okay for Charles to own six properties but William can’t have three.

It’s okay for Harry to use the media to settle grievances, but not Charles.

It’s okay for Charles to show leadership, but not William.

It’s okay for the Dutch royals to let scholarly research on their role in the slave trade determine how, where, and when they apologize for their colonialism but the BRF needs to apologize and make reparations immediately.

It’s okay for Meghan to have help at home and prioritize family time, but not Kate.

It’s okay for Harry to cash in on Diana’s memory but not anyone else, and certainly not William.

It’s okay for the Queen to take lots of time off because she works a lot but not Kate, who doesn’t work because she has children. (Is raising children not work?)

It’s okay for the Queen to avoid talking to the media, but not Kate.

It’s okay for the Sussexes to have preferred reporters but not the Cambridges/Waleses.

It’s okay to tackle misinformation about Harry, not anyone else.

It’s okay for Charles to upstage the Queen/his parent but not for William to upstage the King/his parent.

It’s okay for Harry to blindside his family announcing things to the media first, but not anyone else.

Scobie and the Sussexes have no idea how actual business works.

So many times I thought “tell me you don’t know about the corporate world without telling me you don’t know about the corporate world.”

The biggest giveaway that they have no idea how businesses operate is this mutually-held idea that change must be immediate and must begin as soon as someone thinks of it. There’s no regard for policy, no regard for process, no regard for procedures, no regard for research, no regard for any kind of preparation to make it a lasting, effective success.

Here’s an example, from Scobie:

But it would be hasty to unreservedly believe that real change is on the horizon for the wider royal establishments just yet. In 2023, it was reported that 9.7 percent of employees in Buckingham Palace were from ethnic minority backgrounds (up from 9.6 percent the previous year) and Kensington Palace employed 16.3 percent (up from 13.6 percent). The numbers appear to be ticking up in the right direction, but a closer look at the senior staffers around royal family members reveal a predominantly white lineup (exclusively, in the case of communications team members and private secretaries at William and Kate's household). It depressingly shows that the majority of non-white employees are at junior levels or working in more service industry-type positions.

This reads like Scobie’s expectation is for the Palace to fire their existing teams and replace them exclusively with diversity hires - but even that isn’t an effective solution because everyone would just scream “it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just for the PR!” The kind of institutional change Scobie is demanding actually takes a lot of time to implement, more than the few days he thinks it should. They have to wait for vacancies to open up or, if they’re going to create a new position, then it’s even more complicated:

Where in your budget is the money coming from to be able to pay the new person their salary and benefits? What project isn’t going to happen? What program is going to get canceled?

What exactly are they going to do? If you’re taking X duties from Jane, then what is Jane going to do now?

Where are they going to sit? What kind of technology do they need? What kind of resources, access, passwords, keys?

What’s the priority for this staffing need? What aren’t you going to do because you’re going to do this hire instead? What position isn’t going to get filled? What project isn’t going to get done? 

Should the palace be hiring more diversely? Yes, absolutely. But it’s going to take time. It’s not going to change very much in one year. But what can change in one year is the recruitment strategy behind hiring, and that’s something that Scobie could actually get answers on. Are they still recruiting from the usual places or have they diversified and branched out? Are they doing blind hiring (where they remove all the personally identifying information like race, gender, name, education)? Are they recruiting from the Commonwealth realms? And this is what someone like Scobie should be asking the BRF to uphold their accountability.

Here’s another example:

Naturally, as paid members of the team, household staff for each of the three offices look out for the royals they represent. This is where 'briefings' get complicated, because while the aides are all working to prop up the Crown, they owe nothing to the family members they don't report to.

Um…does Scobie not know that he’s described every single organization and every single job? Everyone at the company works to support the company but you only owe results to the people you report to. Does he not see this at his own magazines or has he freelanced for so long he doesn’t remember what a “real” job is like?

Family businesses. Harry, Meghan, and Scobie cannot see the firm as a business. They look at and perceive everything through the lens of ‘family.’ This is, probably, the biggest “lightbulb” moment I had in reading Endgame. Harry and Meghan don’t understand, or they don’t care to understand, that there’s a family side to the monarchy and that there’s a business side to the monarchy. Everything they have done, they’ve done through the family side, hoping to leverage their personal relationships for change and action, when it was really a matter for the business side. 

And all of their problems with William, with the courtiers, with how things are done, is because they viewed the monarchy as “family first, family always” when everyone else understood, fundamentally, that there’s a time for family and a time for business. And what’s interesting is that William and Kate - forasmuch as they prioritize their own family (scaled back diaries and long breaks overlapping with the kids’ school holidays), they also prioritize the monarchy and the business side of it. They show up when it matters: they do the ceremonies, they do the walkabouts, they do the small talk, they promote the work and the people and the culture of Britain. 

Here are some quotes from Scobie illustrating how he, and the Sussexes, think “family only”:

Over time, William increasingly complained about Meghan to aides and family members. He didn't like how opinionated she was, how she spoke to his staff, and how much of her Markle family dramas were in the press. 'William shifted away from acting like a brother and became more like someone only focused [on the Crown]," a source close to the Sussexes said.

and

Charles vanished into the sacred Crown's engulfing orbit, leaving William to face the royal family's new chapter and the institution's increasing demands without his brother close by, the one person in the world who can empathize with all that's in store for him.

and

During the days ahead, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile, praying the press wouldn't turn their attention to them but remain rightfully focused on the loss of a beloved monarch. 'There was an incredible sense of sadness,' said a family source. 'For them, the Queen was one of their last strong links to the family. She always made them feel welcome. Without her...it will never be the same.

And this is in addition to Harry expecting to keep the perks of monarchy as “just” a family member that I mentioned in the “bombshell” section. He really thought he could have his life, “career,” and family fully subsidized by the business profit because he’s the CEO’s son/grandson. He’s so gobsmacked in July 2020 to realize that not everyone sees the monarchy as “family first, family always” that it literally breaks him. All of his lawsuits and all of his fighting since then has been trying to force the BRF to remodel themselves into his vision of “family first, family always” so he can get his perks back without having to work another day in his life.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

I know that race and race relations can be painful to talk about, but this is incredibly important. I don’t want to wade in too deep into it because these are conversations that aren’t easy to have through screens.

The monarchy, the institution, needs to change to be more conscientious of the power dynamics at play between an aristocratic white family who made their money on the backs of labor, land, and servants and a fast-changing world demanding more and more accountability. Charles's endorsement of the research project that the University of Manchester and the Historical Royal Palaces is a good start, as Scobie also recognizes, but there needs to be more and they can't just wipe their hands off when the report gets published saying "We did our piece. What's next?" There needs to be more and I hope there is more.

Scobie makes a lot of good, important points in his discussion (like it's not enough for the BRF to remove offensive pieces of art or contextualize their collections and they can't hold these discussions behind closed doors and that the public/the Commonwealth realms deserve to have a say in what happens next). But he also makes a few points that seem to indicate he doesn’t fully understand just how complicated race relations are, particularly when it comes to their intersection with politics. Scobie seems to think that the royal family, including the monarch (The Queen at the time), should disregard the “don’t get involved in politics” principle on a case-by-case basis to be able to speak out and support communities suffering injustice and inequality. It’s a fine line to tow; at what point is something “worthy” enough of the royal family to speak out? And how is something judged “worthier” than another to warrant royal intervention? And why has the press nominated themselves to judge that line, instead of, you know, the actual public the monarchy serves?

Probably the most disappointing thing about this section is how misplaced it feels in comparison to the overall book and message. 90% of the book is about media relations; Scobie's relationships with communications staffers, the relationship the palace has with the media, the dynamics at play between aides, principals, and the media. And then there’s a chapter on race. It's as misfitting as the chapter on Andrew (which largely just serves only to let Scobie remind everyone of the Epstein affiliations because Charles seems to be sweeping it under the rug). And that is horrific for Scobie to do; the palace's inability, or unwillingness, to recognize their role in a near-global racial disparity should not, cannot, and must not be equivalent to Andrew's scandals.

Purely from an editorial standpoint, this chapter would have been much stronger, much more compelling, and probably more thought-provoking if it was a standalone essay or part of a larger work that specifically examined racial and ethnic diversity in modern institutions of power or modern monarchies. I think Scobie shoots himself in the foot a little if his goal is to have a conversation and introduce reform by burying it in a book about media and communications. 

I do hope Scobie considers writing more on this. In fact, I think if he did do a larger and more critical piece about diversity, he might be able to earn back some of the professional credit he’s lost by becoming so closely affiliated with the Sussexes.

Rage against the machine and the media

(It kind of goes off the rails here. Apologies in advance.)

Royal rota system. So there are two rota/pool systems. One is for broadcast/television reporters. One is for the newspaper/print reporters. “Royal rota” as it’s used in the royal-watching community popularly refers to the newspaper pool.

The rota is a system where members take turns reporting back to the larger group all the information (and gossip - Scobie makes it very clear that the royal reporters absolutely engage in gossip as much as we do) from royal engagements where open coverage isn’t possible or when a larger group isn’t necessary (i.e., “boring”). The smaller rota pool is one print reporter, one television camera/broadcaster, a couple of photographers, and someone from the Press Association. This smaller group travels “inside” with the royal while everyone else waits outside in a designated press pen for arrivals and departures.

There are 10 print publications that participate in the rota. Only established British national papers are allowed. There have been occasional exceptions for the London Evening Standard and Hello. No Commonwealth publications, no foreign publications (albeit one exception), and no digital publications/media sites are permitted to join.

The exception to the “no foreign publications” rule is US media. Americans are not officially part of the rota but in about 2010ish, the rota invited two US-based reporters (Scobie and one other person) to unofficially join the rota on a honorary basis. They were given access to the pool reporting notes and could join the rota’s press pen at engagements, which had priority access. This changed in 2017 with Meghan’s arrival, because with Meghan came more US media. The new American reporters complained to the rota’s oversight officials on grounds of fairness (i.e., Scobie and the other guy were getting more information and more access than all the other Americans) and the decision was made to take them off the rota.

And just who made that decision? Who’s in charge of the rota? Drumroll please…

The Daily Mail. Rebecca English, specifically.

But how it comes across in the book is that Scobie believes, bitterly and scornfully, that he was demoted from the rota because of his closeness to the Sussexes, and specifically Meghan. It really isn’t looking good for his denial that he treats Meghan “objectively.” He says that English told him he was pulled from the rota because he had become, largely, an American television news reporter and in classic Sussex whataboutism, Scobie says she “conveniently ignor[ed] my role as royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar.” Well, Scobie, you seem to be conveniently ignoring that Harper’s Bazaar is an American publication which further disqualifies you. That’s quite the entitlement.

The rota is overseen by the News Media Association. They appoint press “captains” - there’s two, one for the everyday and one for overseas tours - who manage assignments, the rotation, and ensures that everyone is getting the reports. Rebecca English has been the captain for thirteen years, which Scobie sees as a “monopoly.” Valentine Low, of The Times, is the overseas tour captain.

And that, to me, sheds a little bit more light on Harry’s vendetta against The Daily Mail. He hates that they “control” the rota and how firmly enmeshed the rota (i.e. The Daily Mail, in Harry’s mind) is with Palace operations. Harry says in Spare (which Scobie helpfully reproduces): “I'd had it with the royal rota, both the individuals and the system, which was more outdated than the horse and cart...It discouraged fair competition, engendered cronyism, and encouraged a small mob of hacks to feel entitled.”

Scobie feels the same way, and while he’s a bit more polite about it, he is equally as bitter:

Restricted access for Commonwealth outlets, digital news organizations, or US publications (the latter being relevant to a newly installed American duchess in the House of Windsor) didn't make much sense to man of us. With the support of two senior Palace aides, I wrote a letter to relevant senior individuals at Buckingham palace about why it was important to have an additional position in the rota--one that could at least be shared by the aforementioned groups. Harry, I was told, was also keen to back the effort. But it quickly hit a dead end. Rather than decide themselves, palace aides called in [Rebecca] English and The Times' royal correspondent Valentine Low, the rota's overseas tour captain (who was admittedly far less bothered about petty politics and mostly attempted to be fair in this less-involved role), for a meeting. English told them that letting 'others' in would be unacceptable. 'To be honest the rota is just a headache none of us want to deal with. It's easier to just leave it as it is,' a senior courtier said with a shrug over coffee with me. Yet another case of institutional fear and blinkered acceptance of the status quo when it comes to the media.

Scobie’s entire focus is on restoring his access to the rota. It’s not unlike Harry’s entire focus of media reform being on positive press coverage. 

Speaking of Harry, Scobie immediately drops another revelation, one that directly played into Megxit:

Harry and Meghan, who were having their own conversations about the same issue, were then told that if they wanted to break away from the rota system and give other journalists access to their work, they would have to foot the bill for their own engagements. The list for their reasons to leave was getting longer by the month. 

Concern about cronyism, outdated tools because ‘status quo’, and a refusal to modernize are legitimate complaints, absolutely. It would be far more beneficial if the rota system was overhauled completely to reflect today’s diverse media environment. (Not to mention, adding some spots for Commonwealth and realm publications could very well have an impact on the kind of coverage being reported back home.) But once again, Harry’s entitlement leaps off the page here.

He is such a penny-pincher that he couldn’t put up his own money to institute the kind of change he wanted to see. It wasn’t his responsibility, you see. His job is to make demands, but it’s up to everyone else around him to do the actual work, to pay for his ideas, to implement the change he desires. And circling back to the “Harry has no idea how a business works” theme from earlier, this betrays what Harry thinks “business” or “work” is. Harry thinks “work” is just showing up at the appointed time, reading the provided script, sharing a genius idea or two, shaking hands, and returns in 3 months expecting to see 10 years of progress on his genius idea so he can take all the credit. Harry absolutely is not capable of comprehending exactly how much happens behind the scenes to make his idea reality. It’s no wonder why Invictus Games is sinking like the Titanic. It’s no wonder why Archewell has plateaued. No one is interested in buffing up Harry’s ego anymore. No one is interested in implementing his ideas because he refuses to help or contribute.

But you know who does? William. William has an idea or William wants to see a change, William puts his head down and does the work to recruit the people, give direction, and find the funding. When the press start spreading lies or misinformation, William doesn't just sit there and complain at people to protect him. He uses his own resources to fix the problem, which Scobie (and Harry) perceive as the problem: William as heir has more power than Harry does to protect his wife. That's not what's happening. What's happening is that William doesn't take 'no' for an answer and he works the business till he gets what he wants. Harry gets told 'no' and he tries to manipulate the family to get what he wants...but the family can't do anything.

At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with power, or money, or status, or resources, and what William has that Harry doesn't. It’s that the Cambridges/Waleses are willing and able to do the work themselves. They put their money where their mouth is while Harry and Meghan prefer to buy knockoff athletic competitions and ice cream trucks that they can slap their name on and reap glory.

And Harry is so short-sighted. There would have been absolutely zero harm in abandoning the royal rota for one week or one month, paying out of pocket for press coverage with the “specialist media”, “grassroots media organizations and young, emerging journalists” and seeing what happened? If the experiment failed, then that gives him legitimate grounds to complain that the rota blacklisted him and more people would be sympathetic to the cause. But if the experiment was a success? Oh, man, it would’ve been the modern equivalent to Lord Altrincham’s recommendations to The Queen and Harry could have coasted on that for the rest of his life. Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now William will be the one to reform the press when the time comes, all because Harry freaked out at “do it yourself.”

(Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me. He and Meghan are so desperate for this ‘changemaker’ label yet when they were presented with the opportunity to do just that–albeit at their own expense–they bailed. How dare you -- spend my money on other people?! Meghan couldn’t have clutched Diana’s pearls any tighter.)

Palace relationships. I’ve said it in a few other places here, but Scobie’s book is largely about the relationships between the palaces and the media. There’s nothing really new here and it’s mostly an opportunity for Scobie to brag about how close he is to certain people and how much access he has for his reporting.

Scobie absolutely hates the team at Kensington Palace and the deeper into the book you read, the more it becomes apparent that he isn’t targeting William and Kate as much as he’s targeting the communications team that works for them. Christian Jones and Jason Knauf, to be more specific. Scobie doesn’t like how readily they appeared to do William’s bidding, how fiercely the palace protected them when Harry (and Scobie, remember, he likes to put himself in the middle of everything) called it out, and how freely they seemed to work the press for amiable coverage of William and Kate:

My proof of Kensington Palace's schemes at work wasn't just in the newspaper coverage. I also had close working relationships with Buckingham Palace aides and people on Harry and Meghan's team. Back in 2019, one of the Sussexes' main communication aides felt strongly that William's staff, led by press secretary Christian Jones, crossed a line with the mental health stories. One of the couple's team called me the moment the 'William's concerns for Harry' front pages dropped. 'It's pretty disgusting that they would pull out the mental health card for this...None of them care for his health,' the aide said. As Harry later shared, 'They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.' This wasn't Christian Jones's first rodeo, and he was just one of many at Kensington Palace who engaged in these tactics. William's private secretary Simon Case and communications secretary-turned-senior-advisor Jason Knauf also shared details with preferred reporters to quell rumors about the broken relationship between the Cambridges and the Sussexes. When William and Kate went to see Harry and Meghan after the birth of Archie, Jones made calls to a Mirror reporter and me to share an exclusive--the couple had just minutes ago stopped by for a special visit. 'It's a great story that shows that the the relationship isn't as bad as everyone makes out,' he said. 'It was really sweet.' What he failed to mention, as I later found out from Sussex sources, was that the couple's lukewarm drive-by lasted less than twenty minutes.

(Also, in what universe do the parents of a newborn baby want visitors and guests to stay for hours on end? Twenty minutes to check in on the new parents, deliver some food or a gift, and give the baby a cuddle sounds like an appropriate amount of time for visitors to be there.)

Scobie further goes on to describe how he thinks it’s hypocritical of William to be so manipulative and treacherous in how he uses the media to improve his reputation, particularly at Harry’s expense, because this is exactly what Charles and Camilla did to him and he had hated it. Scobie’s overall message seems to be that the more power William gets, the less “William” he is and the more “Palace” he becomes (similar to the argument he makes of Kate), and the more “Palace” he becomes, the more ruthless his communications team gets.

I mean, Scobie even goes so far as to say that William has gone so far into the Palace machinery that he's abandoned and discredited his mother in accordance with the preferred script:

The differences in the brothers' statements are stark. Both expressed understandable outrage over Bashir's duplicity and the BBC's moral and professional failures. But while Harry stopped to acknowledge and honor Diana's strengths, despite the whole faisco, William reinforced the counternarrative that his mother was paranoid at the time. While there is no duobt that William's rebuke came from a place of love, sources sexplained he was also keen to toe the company line without any concessions to what his mother said during the interview itself. To write his statement, William turned to a number of aides within the royal household, including former private secretary Simon Case, who had left a month earlier for his new role as cabinet secretary for then prime minister Boris Johnson. He embraced the institution's version that, because Diana was duped, the interview was null and void as a result--even if wha she said was completely in line with what she had previously expressed in Morton's book. By disparaging Bashir's trick and by extension the entire interview, William ended up discrediting a large part of his mother's own story. To make his points, he did not remind the public that his mother was candid and truthful, despite Bashir's dirty work, but, instead, maintaned the royal version that she was emotionally fragile and thus easily manipulated, and therefore her claims are not to be trusted.

Or maybe, Scobie, this is William’s own personal experience and recollection of his own mother. It’s well known that William had a very different relationship with Diana than Harry did, such that he already understood at the tender age of fourteen, just how complicated her life was and how complex a person was. And, t was recently revealed that William did actual work to understand who his mother actually was as a person, warts and all. He spoke with his family and with her friends and came to know Diana The Person, whereas Harry has only entrenched himself in his twelve-year-old “My mummy is better than yours” fantasy. 

Both versions of Diana – William’s reality that she was a complicated and complex person and Harry’s reality that she was a beloved idol – can be true. But to dismiss William’s truth as “Palace bullshit” because it doesn’t match the popular narrative as told by Harry is, frankly, poppycock.

Welp, that was a huge train derailment. Getting back to the point: Scobie doesn’t like Jones because of Jones’s relationship with Wootton and his readiness to speak William’s truth at Harry’s expense. (Which is also hypocritical because Scobie spends all of Endgame speaking Harry’s truth at William’s expense.) And Scobie thinks it is unethical for Jones to be openly friendly with Wootton.

But here’s the catch. When he was being interviewed for the job in 2019, Jones disclosed his friendship and working relationship to both Simon Case and William. Yet William still hired him anyway. And with that little nugget, it becomes very clear very quickly what one of Harry’s issues is: he’s butthurt he didn’t get to know of the pre-existing relationship between Jones and Wootton and wasn’t asked to weigh in on whether he should be hired.

Now, for Knauf. Well, I’ll let Scobie tell you himself how much he hates him.

Knauf continued to work in his role as chief executive of William and Kate's foundation for a few more months before stepping down to join the board of the foundation for William's Earthshot Prize. As a loyal aide, he stuck by William through it all, from helping brief the press long after his communications role ended, leading the bullying allegations against Meghan, and joining forces with the Mail in court. Unsurprisingly, a year later, King Charles included him on his list of those to receive the honorable title of lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order for his 'personal service to the monarchy.' Notably, this high honor is chosen by the royal family and not the government, and it was his pal the Prince of Wales who performed the investiture on May 10, 2023, at Windsor Castle. Knauf--a man who went above and beyond to protect the royal family's relationship with a British tabloid--emerged from this fiasco as a titled hero, the personification of duty above all. His dangerous dalliance with the media in the courtroom is all part of a job description you won't find on his LinkedIn profile and a soon-to-be forgotten footnote in a celebrated career.

Scobie’s angry that Knauf waded in on Meghan’s copyright lawsuit with the Daily Mail. After all, he didn’t have to come forward and there was no official request for his evidence or any palace evidence in her lawsuit. But he did, because “it was [William’s] opportunity to watch the institution strike back after Harry and Meghan went so public with private details about the Firm.”

So everything goes back to the all-powerful William and his newfound power to use the palace’s relationship with friendly press to suppress, control, and humiliate others.

Paradigm Shift. After the discussion on the royal rota, probably the most fascinating part of Scobie’s criticism of the media is something he glosses over: the paradigm shift as a result of the information revolution that changed palace strategies with public relations and communications. In the span of about 50 years, the BRF went from one centralized Palace staff to three companies of Palace staff. They went from one single royal brand using ten newspapers to nine competing royal brands using national newspapers, foreign publications, digital media, and special interest groups and two ghosts (Diana and The Queen) whose legacies shape the 21st century.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read that book than 300+ pages of background for Harry’s lawsuits.

Rehabilitating Harry. Scobie reveals the plan for how to rehabilitate Harry if/when the time comes: it's Operation PB, Mark Bolland's creation to rehabilitate Camilla for the public to (eventually) accept her as Charles's Queen.

A parting gift for making it all the way through: my very favorite quote.

Just five years ago, the thought of the Windsors becoming equal citizens without privileged status seemed unreal to most, but now that future doesn't seem as far-fetched. Harry and Meghan have already fled to real life, and, by the looks of it, they're not hurting for either money or status.

You sure about that, Scobie? You sure that Harry and Meghan aren’t hurting of money or status? Harry just flew 20 hours round-trip for a 12-minute meeting with his father to make sure his inheritance was still solid after offending everyone and burning all the bridges.

[toons-and-doom]

Sprouts twisted form better be terrifying or I quit/j

GLISTEN, imagine his face was shattered and some ichor was leaking out, and if bro could speak he could be slightly heard PANICKING about his appearance and if you get close he’ll yell at your ass saying “DON’T LOOK AT ME” or smth like that. Tryna cover his face and all that.

EXACTLY. I wonder what lil bro is gonna be like.

Hold up Drabble time.

This is most definitely ooc but in my defense glisten isn’t even out yet and he’s not in the right frame of mind (ie, twisted). Also sorry if the writing sucks ass I’m writing because executive dysfunction when it comes to drawing.

Drabble ramble time

Hideous. He was hideous. He needed to fix himself.

Glisten knew that all to well.

A bit of his face falls onto the floor, and he has to bite back a wail. Please don’t break again- not again please- He quickly picks up the fallen peice, reattaching it to his face. He’s momentarily relived when the fragment stays where it’s supposed to. (…he’s pretty sure that’s where that part is supposed to go… he’s been having a hard time thinking clearly…).

The ichor is all that’s keeping his face together now. It flows freely now, dripping down his face and chest onto the floor bellow. Disgusting. It left a faint trail as he wanders out of the kitchen to a sitting area, not daring venture deeper into the kitchen. Glisten was thankful he couldn’t vomit.

He didn’t want to face his other companion(?) in this nightmare he’s found himself in. Razzle and Dazzle, or rather, what was left of them. They were ruined, monstrous. Just like him. They were quite literally half of what they used to be. But there was harmony in their appearance. The two halves made a whole. There was still some beauty in their peaceful face. He HATED that they were so ugly yet so perfect.

He catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection of a machine (…he doesn’t remember why there was so many lying around. Somewhere in his dulled mind he could remember they were important, their purpose was far beyond him now).

Oh god.

It’s worse than he thought.

.

If he were trying to be optimistic he could say he looked like a Picasso painting. A Picasso painting which was thrown in oil and was recreated from memory a cheap copy of the work of art. Features all wrong and misshapen… some completely gone OHGODHOWWASHEGOINGTOFIXTHIS??? ISHEGOINGTOFALLAPART-?!

He immediately turns his head away from the thing staring back at him through his reflection. He just needed to wake up. That’s all. This was all just some sick joke of a dream and he’ll wake up soon! (…the dull ache in his mind, and the ichor occasionally choking him tell him otherwise).

.

.

.

Of course that’s when he hears the elevator doors closing. They aren’t alone anymore.

oh god their going to look at HIM. They’re going to JUDGE him- they’re gonna think he’s a MONSTER.

He could already hear one coming his way.

His hands shoot up to cover his face. His ichor stained hands which will definitely make the state of his face worse. He chokes back sobs. He prays they will just leave.him.alone.

The footsteps stop. A voice. He can recognize it as a poppy’s.

‘ … hey? Are you alright? ‘

Is she blind??? Does he look fine??? Or is she just stupid- why are poppy’s like this?? He wishes he could just…. He doesn’t know-

… poppys did always have such nice bows… such pristine condition despite the situations they rope themselves into… and glisten needed to replace his bow anyways…. And their teeth? Their straight. Glisten would need to replace his all to sharp teeth soon… the best things about poppys are their eyes… so wide and perfectly round… glisten needed to replace a eye anyways- he doubts it will mind.

….The footsteps resume, much slower than glisten hoped. He moves one finger to see the poppy. It was reaching its hand out towards him, perhaps to reassure him. That was fine. All it needed to do was get a little closer…

He removed one hand from his face, partially exposing him to the poppy. He sinks the claws of the aforementioned hand into the ‘skin’ of the poppy… it didn’t really need its skin anyways, right?.

… it looks horrified. It sees him.

Instinct takes over. This poppy needed to die before it could run off and warn the others- before they can all see him- maybe if gets to them- he could use all their wasted bits to fix himself!

…. That sounds… nice.

(I’m not sure how to close this rip-)

[frankenfossil]

Oh! I nearly forgot, but can I ask the significance of this panel?

It comes directly after Dee explains that he can’t come and see her from the future whenever he wants. (Which is one of my favorite moments where Dee’s true eldritch horror leaks in to the story), so I assume it’s… sort of a metaphor? How Emily finds herself at the foot of something she realizes is much, much bigger than she contemplated before?

(Also, I just wanted to compliment you for this panel)

(The first time I saw it, I imagined Dee was showing her this on purpose, time traveling from sometime the same day to really show her what it would be like. An object lesson.

The second time I saw it, I started to wonder

Because Dee himself doesn’t really look aware of what is going on behind him.

And maybe, just maybe, this one moment in time has become the only moment that Dee allows himself to come back to to see Emily, the one moment where he can get lost in the crowd with every other time he came back to look. The one moment where he’s explaining why he can’t come back.

Just… Makes me sad, and I wanted to say thank you for that too, because I love these characters and the story they tell, the sweet and bitter.)

Oh!!!

(Quick test of my ability to find which chapter stuff happens in)

I love your reading of that Uluru panel!! I think I probably didn’t intend anything that deep with it; these time skip montage style chapters are pretty choppy and I’m usually trying to figure out a way to touch on all these brief scenes or moments that I don’t want to spend a whole chapter on for whatever reason, and arrange them in a way where the cuts aren’t too hideously abrupt. For visual reasons I try to contrast different locations and not put 2 dialogue heavy moments directly next to each other. Mood wise, I don’t really want to cut from something serious and angsty to something that’s a complete backflip on that. I also sometimes just feel like drawing a nice landscape and hope it achieves my aims on these fronts haha.

I think also here I was trying to move from that final sentence, “The present is more than enough”, to demonstrating them appreciating having that present together - being able to go do cool and enriching stuff, something not completely mundane but not completely fantastical either. (I mean... sightseeing within your own country is extremely normal, but going to Uluru from Melbourne... not a convenient day trip, since it’s 2000km; 25 hour solid driving, or you can fly in a few hours but I think you have to go via Sydney, so that makes it take at least twice as long I guess. Not that it's specified how long they're there for. I haven’t been myself but I’d love to one day...)

So, yeah!! More of a mechanical/compositional rationale than an intentional metaphor, but I think your reading makes complete sense and actually improves the page! (Sometimes I do intend visual metaphors... but sometimes they’re just happy accidents.)

And thanks for the compliment re the crowd of Dees!! I also love the moments I can lean into his eldritch qualities... they’re sadly few and far between but maybe that helps them be more surprising?? Definitely your first reading was what I intended, that he zigzagged back pretty quickly, probably even from within the conversation, but there is an inherent ambiguity to Dee’s time travelling where unless I take pains to spell it out, there really is no way to know when he’s come from. Even if he can be assumed to be taking every interaction chronologically, there’s no knowing how much time has passed for him between each visit. I don’t even know how to estimate how long his experience of time is, when he’s zigzagging back so densely all the time; even the number of living things on Earth any moment is an incomprehensibly mind-boggling number. That eldritch horror again!

Truth be told I hadn’t thought of him coming back to this moment and blending in with the crowd for the rest of the future ;_; but that’s so real... he could well be, the sad sack...

I had a different sillier thought from slightly misreading your question on first pass, which is that maybe he doesn’t originally know what’s going on behind him, but then later on as he’s just going about his business he goes “oh I know exactly how to punctuate that thing I said earlier!!!” and then does it as an afterthought. Oh to have the ability to add the things you wish you’d said to an earlier conversation 😂

[crguang]

hgsshbyss I sent that ask when I hadn’t slept in 3 days, so my brain wasn’t functioning properly, I haven’t gotten used to not sleeping very much yet. Also I only have a little crush on Black swan so far. It’s just complicated bc I thought I was aroace, but I definitely like women, and the way I’ve been eating up Kafka (I wish) fics isn’t very aro or ace, or every time I do a double take when I see a hot woman, but again, we don’t need to talk abt my sexuality crisis.

btw I rewatched the interrogation scene on the luofu, no deep thoughts bc I didnt sleep again last night :| and blue light is hurting my eyes wish Kafka wouldn’t let me sleep by railing me instead but whatever.

First of all SHES SO HOT I MISS HER. Second of all, they didn’t take her gloves, they took her contacts, her jacket and her GLASSES too, like it’s so silly. I think the only time her hands are exposed are in the countdown art of her, WHATEVER THE FUCK SHES HOLDING IN IT SHOULVE BEEN ME And she went back for them too, like girl, they don’t even fit you ik ik spider imagery, but still and the way she was looking at TB while we were asking her stuff sjhdhsbsjslsns. You were def right abt the speaking slower to control the convo pace.

I was curious abt what she was telling us abt the aeons dying/being killed, bc (assumably) nanook is the final boss, TB is supposed to play part in defeating him, and I wonder if she was supposed to tell us besides for plot reasons, or if she was just stalling. But it wasn’t mentioned after, so it’s probably dismissed as a distraction. And she never tells us the third way. also the way she jumps off after she get out of the handcuffs, her dramatic ass, I cannot with her. btw all my messages are so long I’m sorry :(

-🌠

ANON I JUST SAW MORE LEAKS IM GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE please… let us all collectively pray that kafka is not in the next banner for my sanity PLEASEEEEE. also you should definitely be sleeping omg what’s stopping you?? three days without sleep is starting to get dangerous, i hope you’re able to crash for like 15 hours soon

yeah i noticed they didnt take her gloves, i feel like they should’ve gone all the way because then its just confusing like😭😭 what would they need her glasses for?;!;? no idea how arrests work on the luofu but that sounds very silly. taking her contacts and coat makes sense but i really cant wrap my head around them snatching her sunglasses hejdhdhf kafka is so funny sometimes, looking good is an essential part of being a criminal she just had to get her stuff back

BUT YEAH HER PACE ALWAYS BOTHERS ME HERE. SPEAK FASTERRRR she was def doing it on purpose to piss me off personally… what’s crazy is that we all just took the nanook part of the prophecy as factual and im just realizing she might just be lying?… she says the SH’s goal isnt to kill an aeon but idk if i believe that. omg we really dont know shit about these people’s goal so far even after getting close to firefly. i need kafka to come back to the main story bc shes the only one who gives us some clues like😭

what i love most about her free fall is that she looked at the ground before doing it, as if telling herself like “yeah i’ll survive this i can look cool” and it always makes me giggle

[lryghe]

MXTX thoughts; conventions

The long awaited (not) analysis of MXTX conventions is here! I’ve literally been meaning to talk about this for months but it got sidelined in favour of vicious arguing on PDB about MBTI. Anyways! Obviously this post will contain spoilers, and something I wanted to touch on was 3rd person limited in MXTX, but I already have a post on that here, so feel free to check that out for a better explanation of it. Beware of mediocre analysis ahead, I’m a little rusty (also shoutout to the person who liked some of my posts this morning, you reminded me to actually write something!).

THE AGENDA since this post is long:

Non-linear storylines

Dying and resurrection

Colour symbolism

Character tropes

NON-LINEAR STORYLINES

An interesting thing that follows MXTX’s more thought out works, is the non-linear plotlines she follows in them. This itself is a really good convention of writing in general, especially if it’s done well, and I can safely say that MXTX did it astoundingly well in TGCF. The clear cuts between time periods in relation to each book is an incredible feat, and is something that easily trumps MXTX's other examples of non-linear storylines. Through the use of the jumping back and forth in time, specifically in TGCF, creates an excellent cause and effect, something that is definitely central to the novel. Everything done has an effect, whether that be on the continuation of the plot, or even as a characterisation point, so the non-linear narrative cements that sense of foreboding hanging over everything. A simple sentence said when Xie Lian 17 somehow amounts to a complete upheaval of the heavens 800 years later, unveiling a conspiracy well over 2000 years old. A friendship group dissolving due to difficult circumstances results in a really horrific friendship confession later in the novel. Shi Wudu trying to save his sibling ends his own demise, the crippling of said sibling, and a vengeful ghost with nothing to do anymore. This nonlinear storyline is definitely used in MDZS as well, but I found it a bit more complex, and actually, now that I think about it, is a really good reflection of Wei Wuxian in general. The thing with MXTX, is that all her novels are in 3rd person limited, so they follow our protagonist in 3rd person, but it’s tinged with their own personal views and biases that limit the omniscience of 3rd person. And with MDZS it would be a fair assessment to say that the unordered mess of time leaps in the novel are an excellent indication of Wei Wuxian’s bias leaking through the 3rd person. The incessant jumping is difficult to follow in places (don’t say otherwise), but it’s actually a genius idea because it’s an accurate assessment of the thought process that Wei Wuxian probably follows anyway. I wouldn’t say that this was definitely on purpose however, as MDZS was written before TGCF, so it could just be MXTX growing alongside her writing, but hey, maybe it is a stroke of complete and beautiful genius! Don’t bother mentioning SVSSS, it’s definitely an interesting novel, but it’s not non-linear, at least not as wholly as MDZS and TGCF are. The most you’ll get in SVSSS is like a two line flashback, plus the extra’s, but I think that’s a reflection of when MXTX wrote it.

DYING AND RESURRECTION

Moving on from serious conventions, MXTX’s trope with one of the main characters dying and then coming back later is a really funny kind of convention, because it’s not funny in the moment obviously, but the fact that it’s done at least once per novel is hilarious. Wei Wuxian’s initial resurrection after 13 years of being dead, Shen Qingqiu’s return in his plant body 5 years later, and then his return back to his ‘original’ body, and Hua Cheng’s little death defying stunt at the end of the novel. Then there’s the use of cliffs and such, like Binghe’s fall into the Abyss, Hua Cheng’s fall off that wall (forgive me its been like 3 years since I read TGCF), and if we’re being inclusive, then there’s always Wei Wuxian’s death in The Untamed. Maybe there’s a hidden meaning in there somewhere, but it’s fine to look at it from a surface level, which amounts to ‘MXTX got bored and needed some drama’. A perfectly reasonable deduction. 

COLOUR SYMBOLISM

Another thing I wanted to touch on was the colour symbolism that MXTX uses because I think it’s pretty cool, AND it has the added benefits of adding symbolism and contrast to each novel's main character and their love interest. It’s mentioned in the novel’s obviously, but it really shines in fan content and fanarts. I like the symbolism of Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s robes both being green before the time-skip, because Luo Binghe was a disciple at the time and a little white lotus, so the green was used to directly align him with Shen Qingqiu. After the timeskip he’s obviously got his big boy pants on and swapped to a stunning black and red ensemble, fitting of the protagonist, and that itself contrasts Shen Qingqiu’s majestic and lofty green robes, because Binghe means business with this fit. A fun thought is how green and red fit together on the colour spectrum, because they don’t, they’re contrasting colours which is some real obvious symbolism. Do I really need to spell out Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian? I feel like this one is rudimentary. White equals noble and virtuous, pure and holy, and black is evil, demonic, cruel, and scary. Simple! And Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s red and white are a very cute mixture, because although it gives them a Bingqiu style christmas tree vibe, it’s interesting in comparison to the previous two love interest and main character dynamics, considering red and white are a lot more complimentary than black and white or red and green. And it’s a testament to how similar Hualian are with their complimentary robes, how like-minded they are throughout the novel, especially considering their predecessors. Or maybe I’m overthinking it, who knows?

CHARACTER TROPES

In regards to tropes of MXTX, I think her character tropes are incredible and have the addition of being really funny. She’s consistent enough with her conventions that clear links can be drawn with her side characters across all 3 novels. To begin with, there’s Mr Angry. I think you can guess who that is, but it's Jiang Cheng, Liu Qingge, and Mu Qing. All have a really close relationship with their related main character, all are angry or harsh where they probably didn't need to be, and all three are good fighters. Then there’s the guy who’s always smiling, like Yue Qingyuan or Lan Xichen. Complacency is a key part of their characters, and excuses aside, it’s interesting how it played out. You could argue for Jun Wu to be a part of this circle, but I’ll keep that to myself. Finally, there’s the fodder characters, only useful to further the plot in a miniscule way. Gongyi Xiao (MAY HE REST WELL), Xiao Xingchen, and once again, I don’t have a very good TGCF equivalent. Gongyi Xiao dies after the events of the water prison, and Xiao Xingchen was really just there to highlight how fucked up Xue Yang was. Rest in peace our beloved fodder, especially Gongyi Xiao, MXTX should have treated you better…

I think I’ve typed myself out honestly. Kudos to whoever reached the end of this post, I haven’t written this much since my Team 7 analysis when I got back into my Naruto phase briefly.

Word count: 1271

Reading time: 4 ½ mins

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Part 3 of Korey ranting let's fucking go

More drawings at the end :D

Made friendship bracelets for all of the bugs :3 each one has their name on it!

Think I forgot to mention in the first rant that she has face blindness, meaning she can't recognize people easily. Having to rely on the sound of their voice, how light or heavy their footsteps are, or just their skin, hair, and eye colors

Very cuddly, not very clingy. Occasional cuddle piles with Mera and Amber :3 she's used to people clinging onto her for warmth so she doesn't mind

Is, however, not used to people showing her affection other than the reason of just wanting to show affection, and might just cry /hj

Favorite bugs are rosy maple moths and orchid mantis!

Korean on her moms side, and Thai on her dad's

Doesn't really get along with her parents, mainly because she barely has a bond with them to even care about

One of the very few scars she got from her hunts and not from her being a reckless, curious dumbass is one on her back. A claw like scar from a very violent, very drugged halfblood.

Has magic lessons with Mera! The teacher is Esther lol, she's only teaching them simple spells and definitely not hazardous ones.

Raine and Korey met through their younger siblings, Everlyn and Noah. Both were curious and a little protective of them, so each followed their younger sibling and bumped into each other.

She prefers spicy food over sweet treats, but she will never say no to a cinnamon roll. It's her favorite!

Favorite flowers are orchids, wisteria, and Egyptian lotuses! Girl just couldn't pick a favorite

Do not let this girl near a kitchen without supervision, and especially don't let her wonder around without supervision, or she will end up in another village. Mera and Amber always gotta guide her back

Dance lessons with Melody and Reya! She just watches them practice for a show, does sometimes join them tho

If you value your safety and privacy, don't mess with her friends, or she will leak everything about you, spread rumors and more, and if you're lucky, she won't resort to physical violence

Both exciting and worrying to be around, exciting because she's always looking for adventures, worrying because she's a thrill seeker and will purposely put herself in danger

She's kinda apathetic yet energetic at first? This may have resulted in her very reckless behavior. Like, she's been told so many times when she was younger that she barely shows any emotions or feelings twords anyone, so she started going on these dangerous trips as to prove that she can feel pain, sad, happy etc, she has a heart she just doesn't know how to show it yet

Get this girl (and the other bugs) a therapist.

Will keep anything you gift her, could be a normal pebble, and she'll treasure it in her little box of stuff

Other hunters perceive her as a breath of fresh air from all the stress... and a sense of worry of what she has planning for the day

Her hair is always so messy and poofy omg. It's why she always has it in a ponytail. The second she lets her hair down, it's like a cloud sat on her head, only positive thing about this that it's somehow very soft and very useful as a pillow

Crimes include: arson, second-degree murder, (accidental) child endangerment, trespassing, fraud, and-

@willowve01 @iistxrmyskyii @kaiamtt @asmrbrainrot @astralbulldragon13 @aspenm00n

[403tarot]

hm could you maybe do a reading on how Jennie’s feeling regarding all this w her relationship now being public basically. do you see a long future for them

hello anon! thank you for your ask <;3 here we go:

⫬ ⫬ ⊹ . . . moodboard by @bysuzy

DISCLAIMERS: this is for entertainment purposes only. tarot is a game. it shouldn't be used to take serious decisions or anything in this aspect. take everything with a grain of salt.

read the previous part (about taehyung's point of view) HERE

How is jennie feeling about her relationship being now "public"?

Well, first I must say that, unlike Taehyung, she may think that they were a bit reckless and took unnecessary risks (probably thinking this due to the predominantly negative repercussions they received). Nevertheless, it was also something that Jennie already expected would happen at some point... it's something that really affects her and makes her more concerned about how people see her.

However, Taehyung appears as a kind of comfort place, someone she can trust. He is very important to her in this phase, providing emotional support. It's as if he constantly reminds her, 'We are a team and we will get through all of this together.' It seems that she doesn't intend to take any action regarding the leak of their relationship (the high priestess) and, for now, prefers to protect herself psychologically

Do i see a long future for them?

Regarding this, they are definitely in love and plan a future together, it's a relationship that brings a lot of happiness to both of them. I can see that they will do everything possible to continue in this relationship, as they already know each other well, understand each other's habits, and these things make it much easier. However, I perceive that Taehyung might be a few steps ahead of Jennie when it comes to a more official commitment, like marriage, for example... he seems to already be thinking about it, while she is not as much, preferring to enjoy the moment and live in the present. Even so, she is grateful for the relationship they have established so far.

deck used: the marigold tarot.

you can give suggestions or request personal readings/with an idol of your choice. check my pinned to know more!

[panelshowsource]

it's actually been leaked for some time, although — and not to sound whiny — any time i've posted it or just talked about it i've gotten 10+ anonymous messages telling me i'm the devil and ruining the establishment of taskmaster with my irresponsible gossiping. so i didn't post about it and deleted any of the asks/convo about the new cast, even though ofc everyone has had tonsss of thoughts about it 😅

anyways would have laid down my whole life betting john robins (one of THE most obvious future tm contestants, being such a good friend of alex's!) and joanne mcnally would be on so i feel very vindicated — and excited! — in that regard! we're gonna have a great time :)

someone sent an anon asking about people i'd bet — not who i want, but who i'd bet — would be on the show so i'll think more about that and post later this week! the series will def have more seasons so i'll try and get some guesses in heh

OMG ME TOO her name is mabel! she's sooooooo cute ≧◡≦

hello anon!! actually you don't need me for this, it was recently posted on tv_bunny :)

enjoy!

she's great! she reminds me a lot of roisin, in that when she's not doing her semi-pre-written joke material, she's supremely good at hanging, bantering, fitting in with the vibe. i really appreciate that when it comes to panel shows particularly! but i can't say i've seen much of her standup

(wait — can i digress for a second — roisin is one of the ONLY recurring catsdown contestants who actually brings in sensible mascots that have the purpose of helping her/bringing her luck, and her presentations of them are always so hilarious and she deserves more credit for that)

+ not important but i really like her voice

thank you for sending her well wishes <3

i appreciate the message and you weren't the only person to say this, but i think some people are only part-way informed as to her journey reclaiming her name. her intention was never to scrap the nickname shappi or stop people from calling her that; it was 1) to reconcile her experience growing up in the uk with her name and how that led to her committing to shappi as a teen, and 2) to be published, credited, and billed as shaparak in professional capacities. she has clarified many times, including here and here, that it is totally acceptable to call her shappi; people on tv & radio still call her shappi after formal introductions, like in the new wilty when everyone calls her shappi throughout the entire episode; her social media handles are still shappi; and so on. she's shaparak, but that doesn't mean she "no longer goes by shappi". there is some confusion here i think some people are taking her journey, which was lovely to follow, as rejecting shappi — but that isn't the case.

i already updated her tag to 'shaparak khorsandi' a while ago and would definitely credit her full name where necessary, but socially, colloquially, like in the quick text post i made asking people to give shappi some love, there is no disrespect in calling her that! of course, plenty of people are credited by one name and are regularly called another/a nickname, like olivia colman who is actually called sarah by her family and colly by most everyone else. she seems really happy with having done her book and her recent show under her full name, and it's been beautiful to see her come around to love shaparak as much as she has loved shappi :')

btw for anyone who doesn't know, shaparak means butterfly in farsi!

hahahahaha that is hilarious

long story short is just that keith lemon is a disreputable character (and i mean character literally, he's not real, he's played by leigh francis!) who spends a lot of his energy shouting and oogling over boobies etc

i think it's fair to say hating on white supremacists does bring us all together 😅

i'm sorry i haven't seen it! but ugh tamsin greig is one of my longest-time crushes fr i actually think the friendship between her and stephen mangan is one of my roman empires. i have a list of scripted tv rewatches i plan to do this year — the thick of it, peep show, and so on, some of my faves ever — and green wing is def on the list so maybe i'll add friday night dinner!

—————

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[fancyshooting]

hi anons I'm going to combine you

"plain name... but I won't forget it" stfu your name is adam normalson!!

we don't know much at all about the children raised by the philosophers in that era other than what eva says - "back then they were collecting children from all over the world" - and how she was raised in a joint us-soviet-chinese facility. she's almost a whole decade older than ocelot, so her upbringing was probably quite different, especially as she lacked the status ocelot had by virtue of being the son of the boss. it's interesting though that she says these children were "collected" and not orphans who were "rescued" or even something neutral like "taken in". in the radio call about ocelot's parents, eva says there were a lot of MIAs during the war but we know that's not true in ocelot's case. he wasn't really an orphan and if her radio bio is anything to go by, neither was eva (everything else in there is true so why would the family section be a lie? none of that information is given as part of her manipulation of snake. it's not relevant to the story at all, so why even include it? both her parents are apparently still alive at the time of operation snake eater. she sounds sympathetic to ocelot in this call too, which is a rare thing)

if the goal of a philosopher upbringing is to produce cold, single-minded spies, would any of these "orphans" be allowed to retain their legal surname? would the children of the elites in command/support of the philosophers be expected to renounce their identities for the sake of service? if not, and they were mixed, there was probably a divide between children with full names and children without. is that part of why ocelot is so averse to the snobbery surrounding formal titles...? i.e. a name doesn't magically grant you good character or make you automatically deserving of respect. idk it sounds like a similar line of thought

young ocelot's deliberate estrangement from his parents points to him being legally known by a name meaning much the same as "john doe" or maybe even something like "tretij rebenok". something impersonal or on the more extreme end, dehumanising. boy a, boy b, child #352 - that kind of thing maybe? it's so hard imo to talk about ocelot and names because he was almost definitely raised in some sort of cold horrible facility, nameless and pliable. he was never supposed to know who his parents were. he was never supposed to identify with anything. personal identity is just a distraction from his purpose. a legal name doesn't really matter anyway when the philosophers have the power to manipulate information on a global scale. political position, military rank, social status: irrelevant. everyone's personal records can be altered if the philosophers so desire

I think if he has a legal surname it's going to be something russian but it won't be the same as the sorrow's. all that information was probably highly classified and ocelot would have had no access to it for a long time, if ever (the most likely time is after the formation of the patriots. zero probably told him). ocelot was quite literally born a bastard anyway so if no abduction took place then he would've probably inherited the boss' surname. the casting sheet that was leaked before mgs3 was released said that the boss was british-american so her surname is probably like... smith or something. omg I just looked up the most common british surnames and one of them is adams. what if his first name is her surname and that's why his name (adamska) is a surname (polish, female). what if that made any sense. wait actually a while ago someone on here suggested that the reason ocelot's name is adamska could be something of a mean-spirited joke by his american abductors who resent his russian father and traitor mother. like they just stuck -ska on the end to make it sound russian. mocking him :( could explain why he later drops the -ska but keeps adam...? he's adams' son?

as for his legal surname, it wouldn't be a problem for it to be an american name. his defection is a known event, a public event that was televised locally in moscow according to mgs4's dodgy database (why would you put your super secret spy's face onscreen when he's supposed to be undercover...? "hi can you tell me military secrets I'm adam btw I was on tv :3")

him having an american name would only be a problem in that it would likely hinder his naturalisation or whatever. it would be conspicuous. I think the philosophers raised him with the intention of eventually shipping him off to the ussr so if he was raised with a surname, it's probably russian. someone on here (possibly the same person as above ^^^ sorry I don't remember) told me that "kotov" is a genuine russian surname derived from one of the russian words for cat (kot!! like on his bike!!). he can have that :)

while we're on the subject of names, ocelot having no patronym (as far as we know) is another little thing that shows how cut off he is from his family and culture. yevgeny borisovich volgin. ivan ivanovich raikov. we need to know the sorrow's first name so he can have some sense of belonging and fitting in and being normal. mr adam sorrovich normalson

in mgsv he says he's "plenty used to working under aliases" and is the one to pass on fake documents to big boss. the only alias we know of ocelot's is "shalashaska" but it's in the shalashaska origin tape that he says this, so he must be referring to other names he's used in secret offscreen spy work... although even "ocelot" is an alias in itself. you can see the detachment he has from his codename when he wants naked snake to know him as "adamska"

I hope that's alright! ty for the asks :D

[katrinawritesthings]

Junghee/Gwiboon ; whole ass husband ; pg

I just think if you find a woman crying on purpose in a public bathroom to embarrass her soon-to-be ex-husband then you should help her out

"Oh, you're so sweet," the woman says, putting a hand on her heart. She was busy pushing more tears out, angling her head to spread them more evenly over her cheeks, but the watery smile gives Gwiboon is genuine. "Yeah, I would like that. I'll stop by if I don't get kicked out. I'm Junghee."

If Gwiboon is estimating the time correctly, she has at least 10 minutes to go pee before her food is going to be delivered to her table. Easy. Easy peasy. Nothing to it. She leaves her jacket on the table so people will know that someone is sitting there and hopes it looks too shitty for someone to steal and heads off to the back of the little diner. 

She walks into the bathroom, glances over her short black hair in the mirror, glances over the other woman in front of the mirror having an absolute breakdown, and is halfway to one of the stalls before she stops and does a double-take.

Yeah, that's definitely another girl with mascara running dreadfully streaky down her cheeks, her chin, even down onto her neck and chest. One drip has even gone so far as to soak into the hem of her low-cut pink dress. Her chest, flushed red under her tan skin, rises and falls with heavy breaths and her fists are clenched on top of the counter so hard that her knuckles are white. Her cheeks are red too, the tip of her nose, her eyes absolutely overflowing with tears, and even as Gwiboon watches, her eyebrows furrow, angry, distraught, and another tear leaks down her cheek. Her dark brown curls are mussed and frizzy, tangled a little bit when she tries to run her fingers through them.

Forgetting that she has to pee, and forgetting that she has a limited amount of time before her lunch gets delivered to an empty table, Gwiboon turns around and walks towards the woman.

"Oh, sweetie, are you okay?" She asks, immediately entering mom mode. She reaches to push some of her hair out of her face gently, compelled to fix this however she can. "Do you want help? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Uh–wuh? Oh,” the girl says. She blinks, turning away from the mirror, and instantly all of her features soften. Her eyebrows relax, her nose unwrinkles, her mouth stops being all screwed up and wobbly and is just neutral, normal. "No, I'm fine," she says, and despite all evidence to the contrary 10 seconds ago, she really looks and sounds like she means it. She sniffles–Gwiboon winces at how extremely snotty it sounds–and flicks the rest of her hair out of her eyes. She points in a circle around her face. "This is on purpose," she says. "My whole entire ass husband is here cheating on me with another woman."

"Oof,” Gwiboon says instinctively. She scrunches her nose, shaking her head. Oof, owie, her heart.

"Yeah," the woman says, a scoff. “I've known for a while and I finally got real proof so now I'm here in my best hell hath no fury look to give him his divorce papers." And she smiles when she says it, a little smirk, a little shimmy of her shoulders, a little pop of her right foot, like she couldn't be happier that the day is finally here. Well. Good for her, Gwiboon guesses. 

"Good luck?" She says, unsure, and then, deciding that that was correct, nods her head. "Yeah. I'm going to pee." She gives herself a hard out of the conversation before she says something embarrassing and just heads to the stall, patting the woman on the shoulder before she goes.

She hopes, as she pees, that if she ever marries a dude and he has the nerve to cheat on her, she can make the confrontation at least half as dramatic as this girl is doing. It's inspiring, honestly.

"Hey," she says when she finishes peeing and comes out to find the woman still there. As she washes her hands, she says, "if you want to hang out and complain about him after, I'm at the table next to the fake tree in the corner." She's always down for complaining about men and helping a babe fix her makeup."I'm Gwiboon, by the way."

"Oh, you're so sweet," the woman says, putting a hand on her heart. She was busy pushing more tears out, angling her head to spread them more evenly over her cheeks, but the watery smile gives Gwiboon is genuine. "Yeah, I would like that. I'll stop by if I don't get kicked out. I'm Junghee."

"Nice to meet you, Junghee," Gwiboon smiles back. She turns to leave, then stops and reaches for Junghee again. Carefully, she takes one of her dress straps and pulls it down off of her shoulder far enough to be obvious but not far enough to be revealing. Just distressed and disheveled. 

Junghee looks down at it, then back up with a smirk. "Nice,” she says.

Gwiboon winks and turns to leave for real. 

Back at her table, her jacket hasn't been stolen and her food hasn't been served yet. Two wins, she thinks. And a third when, five minutes later, she hears a shrill, loud voice screaming obscenities in a different part of the restaurant. Soon it's accompanied by another voice, presumably Junghee's garbage awful soon-to-be ex-husband, and then another voice. Not loud or shrill, but still angry, forceful. Gwiboon sips her free water, very invested.

A few minutes later, just after her extra cheesy omelet arrives, so does Junghee. She has another woman with her; a few inches taller, curvy even in a turtleneck and baggy jeans, long straight black hair, a face that looks like it would be soft and round and quick to smile if it wasn't in such a severe expression.

"Hey Gwi," Junghee sighs as she deflates into the seat across from Gwiboon. She looks devastated and worn out in a genuine way, tired in her bones, but at the same time, like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders and maybe even a little proud of herself. "This is Eunsook."

"Number 2," Eunsook says as she drops down next to Junghee. She crosses her arms, glaring down at the table. "Cannot fucking believe that shithead made me a mistress. Humiliating."

"Hey, it's okay," Junghee says. She hooks her arm around one of Eunsook's and rubs and cheek against her shoulder. Then she pulls back with a frown, because that wiped a lot of the black mascara still on her cheek into the light green fabric. "Sorry," she says. "But I'm friends with some of his work buds and they like me better than him so they're going to do a presentation all about how he's been cheating on me in front of everyone at the big meeting next week."

"Hell yeah." Gwiboon hands a makeup remover wipe, her compact mirror, and a thumbs-up across the table to Junghee.

"Oh, sweet, thanks." Junghee takes them and gets to work cleaning herself up. "Hey, do you mind if I tell two of my girlfriends they can join us in here?" She adds, looking at between the both of them. "They're outside in the car waiting to be my moral support or whatever."

"Sure, but you're the one that's going to have to explain to my waitress why this has gone from a one-person table to a 5-person table," Gwiboon says. Eunsook shrugs after, so Junghee grins and pulls out her phone.

"That's fine," she says. 

Junghee quickly sends a text, then leaves her phone face up on the table. She drums her fingers on the wood, pops her lips, and Gwiboon can hear one of her shoes tapping against the floor. Eunsook isn't moving at all, just glaring down at the table with her arms still crossed. After a minute, Junghee starts rifling through all of the little packets of jam at the end of their table. She pulls out a grape one, opens it up, and just sticks her finger in there. Sucking it off, she absentmindedly offers it to Eunsook.

Eunsook reaches for it, then hesitates, then shakes her head. Reaching over Junghee, she grabs a little packet of sugar and rips off the top. She upends the entire thing into her mouth, then crumbles up the wrapper in her fist, resting her chin in it as she works to swallow all of it down.

Gwiboon looks between both of them over her omelette, more amused than she probably should be. A scorned lover and the other woman. How dramatic. 

"How come people always say cheating on me with another person?" She asks as the thought comes to her. "How else would someone be cheating on you?" seems a little redundant to her, if she thinks about it.

"Who knows?" Junghee sighs. “Ooh–!” She sits up a little straighter and waves her hand big above her head; Gwiboon turns to look behind her and spots two other girls coming in the front door. Must be Junghee's friends. Junghee lets her arms fall heavy back down onto the table and starts poking around in her jelly packet again. "Can you buy me a smoothie?" She asks. "One of you?" She looks between Eunsook and Gwiboon, her eyes so big and round and gorgeous that Gwiboon doesn't even hesitate for a second to reply.

"Sure, honey," she says at the same time that Eunsook says, "yeah, okay."

They smile at each other across the table for a second. Gwiboon guesses that Eunsook isn't made of any sterner stuff than she is. She doesn't mind. She's sure that both of them agree that Junghee deserves it. 

[catalogercas]

Whumptober 2023

It's a Conversation I Just Can't Have Tonight

Day 7 Prompt:

"I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

Jamie is blackmailed about his relationship with Roy & Keeley and runs home to Manchester about it.

At halftime, once they're in the dressing room, Jamie leans into Roy's side and says, with a wide grin, "Did I look sexy scoring that goal? Earn anything good for it?"

Roy just rolls his eyes at him before steering him towards his cubby.

"If your boyfriend will not tell you, I will tell you, Amigo," Dani says, "you looked very sexy!"

"I'm flattered, muchacho," Jamie says, hand on his chest. "Though disappointed in me boyfriend for not being the one to say it."

"Yeah, Coach," Colin says to Roy. "It was very sexy of him. Worth one blow job at least."

"Maybe two," Sam offers, which throws them all into a fit of giggles.

As they continue to chortle at the look on Roy's face, he looks at Beard, who just shrugs. "You chose to tell them."

"And I fucking regret it," Roy says, which just makes them all laugh harder.

"Tartt, make everyone stop discussing your love life. We've got another half to play," Roy growls at Jamie, like he has no involvement in said love life.

But, dutifully, Jamie calls them to order anyway, "Alright Lads, you heard the gaffer! Listen up!"

As Roy starts giving them a pep talk, or whatever Roy's growling at them ought to be called, Jamie pulls out his phone to see if his girlfriend was any better at telling him he was sexy than his boyfriend, when he clearly deserved it.

And she definitely was. He grins at Keeley's text Amazing goal, Babe 💕

Then frowns at another text from an unknown number.

Throw the match or this goes to the press

Jamie's brow knits as he opens the text and sees a video. It's dark and grainy, but he knows what it is immediately.

It was from the night before when he and Roy had been irresponsibly necking in an alley behind G-A-Y.

And it would be bad enough, on its own, for the press to find out he and Roy are together before they're ready to tell them.

What's worse is Jamie knows that what Roy was saying to him in the alley was going to be taken wildly out of context.

It was the kind of thing he'd just been joking about with the lads. Blowjobs for goals and the like.

But the press wouldn't think it was a joke if they heard Roy saying "that's another minute then" after each kiss, each kiss where he'd grazed his teeth over Jamie's lips until they'd bled.

Roy didn't mean minutes in a match. He'd meant minutes of cuddling when they went back home. But that wasn't the kind of gossip that would sell clickbait to The Sun.

Worse, the video continues on to when Keeley found them out there and kissed each of them before leading them back inside to where they'd left Roy's yoga friends.

And Keeley doesn't deserve to have anything like that stupid video leak happen to her again.

And Roy doesn't deserve to lose his job as gaffer over dating him.

And he doesn't know how to stop this. Doesn't have a clue who's texting him, how they got that video, or how they got his number.

He barely registers Roy shouting at them to get back out for the second half as he tries to figure out what to do.

He really doesn't have time to do anything but what the fucking wanker asked him to.

So he does.

At the end of the match, Jamie turns to face the other side of the pitch, and watches Roy lowering the hand that had been holding up the prick signal, mouthing, "Fuck."

The sound of the ball bouncing off the crossbar echoes in Jamie's head, and shame pools in his chest as he trudges off the pitch.

He doesn't know if the lads or even Roy know that he'd angled that last kick that way on purpose.

But he knows.

And it's completely eating at him.

Once he's in the dressing room, he doesn't bother changing or acknowledging any of his teammates telling him it was shit luck. He just grabs his duffel, throws it over his shoulder, and heads for his car.

Once he's in it, without really thinking about it, he finds himself heading to Manchester, increasing the volume of the radio to drown out the incessant buzzing of his phone from where he'd tossed it on the floor.

He doesn't want to talk to anyone. Anyone but his mum.

Tears are streaming down his face when Simon lets him in and calls his mum.

When he's in her lap, and she's petting his hair, he's quiet for a while before finally choking out, through sniffles, "Mummy, I have to break up with Roy and Keeley. I don't want to, but I have to ..."

"Why, love?" His mum asks, as she hands him a box of tissues.

"Because people are twats, and the press is shit," Jamie says.

His mum hums and waits for him to explain so

he sits up and pulls up the text and video and shows her.

"Oh, love," she says, squeezing his shoulder. "Did you tell Roy and Keeley about this?"

He shakes his head, and she presses a kiss to the top of his head. "Do you think maybe they might want a say in whether or not you break up with them to protect them from things like this?"

Jamie shrugs. "Maybe."

"You should tell them," his mum says.

And maybe he should but now he's ashamed that not only did he not tell them, he ran away about it. "Yeah, maybe."

Simon comes back to the living room and hands him a mug of tea, and Jamie knows he heard all of it when he says, "Why don't you have some tea and sleep on it?"

"That's a sound idea, love," his mum says.

The next morning Jamie wakes up in his childhood bedroom to the sound of knocking and Simon shouting, "Coming, coming."

Followed by Roy growling, "Please tell me he's fucking still here. Took off without telling fucking anyone where he was off to. To fucking Manchester. He's lucky I thought to call his mum."

"Roy," Keeley scolds, "it's not Simon's fault Jamie took off."

"I was about to call the fucking police," Roy mutters.

"It's alright. He's still here, still in one piece last I checked," Simon says before calling up for him. "Jamie, Roy and Keeley are here."

He fumbles through getting dressed before staggering down the steps, feeling like he has a hangover even though he hasn't had a drop of alcohol and winces at the sight of them.

Whatever they are, it's definitely not happy with him.

He holds his hand out in surrender. "I'm sorry I took off like that without telling you nothing. I won't do it again. I promise."

Roy just nods.

Keeley reaches a hand out for his, and she squeezes it as he takes it. "We were really worried about you."

"I'm sorry," Jamie repeats.

Keeley squeezes his hand again. "What happened?"

Jamie shakes his head. He knows he has to tell them. But he also thinks that'll be it. They'll be over after that.

"Come on, Tartt. You didn't take off for no fucking reason," Roy says.

He winces as he pulls his phone out and gestures for them to follow him into the kitchen. "Come on then."

He sets his phone on the table and shows them the text and the video.

"Jamie! Why didn't you say something!" Keeley says. "I work in PR and Rebecca has connections. We could have done something! Figured out who had the video or spun it somehow!

"Got it in the middle of the match, didn't I?" Jamie says.

"You could have sent it to me!" Keeley says, and Jamie's cheeks redden because that hadn't occurred to him.

"Didn't think of that," he says.

Then he looks at Roy as he scuffs his shoe against the floor. "Hit the crossbar on purpose."

"For a reason," Roy enunciates each word through gritted teeth.

"You ain't mad?" Jamie asks.

"No, I'm fucking pissed at this knob for making you think you needed to do that, and you for doing it instead of fucking telling me," Roy says.

"Okay," Jamie nods, unsure where that leaves them.

Keeley puts her hands over his on the table. "Jamie, Roy's right. We're upset that you didn't tell us what was going on, and that you took off without a word. We can't do this if we don't tell each other stuff like this."

"So, we're breaking up then?" Jamie asks, knowing he's really messed up here and wasn't exactly accountable about it.

"No, you muppet," Roy says. "We want you to fucking learn something from it, and you're fucking good at that."

"So tell us next time you're being blackmailed about our relationship, yeah?" Keeley says.

"Oh, yeah," Jamie says. "That, I can do that."

"Good. Now let's get you home," Keeley says, holding out her hand for his keys.

And they must be okay because Roy lets him cuddle against him in the backseat as Keeley puts Rebecca on speakerphone so they can strategize on dealing with the wanker and anyone else like him that should try to mess with them and their relationship.

He thinks they'll be okay.