#you can tell she’s so proud of herself and i’m sure it’s just because she doesn’t know better

[neon-vocalist]

blaise shinryu i will always love you but would it kill you to have an ounce of good vocal technique like…. ever?

[girlgenius1111]

throw it all away part 2

part 2 of 2 :) [putellas!reader] just because she knows, now, doesn't mean the path to recovery is straightforward. alexia struggles to help you the way you need. you struggle to even want help. tw: this is a fic about r struggling with an ED. proceed with caution.

—

The protein shake glass sat empty in front of you when Alexia walked into the kitchen. Olga was in the chair next to you, rubbing your back slowly. There were tears running down your face, but your expression was stony. 

Alexia took the seat next to you without a second thought, pulling you into her side. “I’m proud of you.”

“I hate myself.” You murmured, almost against your will. “This shouldn’t be so hard. It’s ridiculous.” 

“It’s not ridiculous,” Alexia objected. “It’s okay. This happens, it’s normal, pequeña.” 

You looked at her strangely, pulling away from her embrace and your sister winced at her own words, scrambling to fix her mistake. “I just mean this is how you’re supposed to feel. In recovery, this is normal. It’s going to be hard, but you just have to push through and-”

“Ale,” Olga interrupted, shaking her head gently. 

Alexia looked back at you, falling silent as she did so. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment, or maybe anger, and you were staring at the plate in front of you like it had personally harmed you. The blonde couldn’t take the look on your face, wanted more than anything to just say the right thing and have all the answers for you, and she started blabbering again before she could stop herself. 

“You did a really good job finishing your protein shake-”

At this, you rolled your eyes, and Alexia started talking faster. 

“-maybe we can get your favorite takeout for dinner? The pasta place you like, with the– ow, Olga.” 

Again, Alexia fell silent, rubbing her arm where her girlfriend had elbowed her. Olga was shooting her a look and your sister sighed, rubbing at her forehead with her hand. Obviously discussing food was a no go, she should know better than that. She thought hard, trying to think of anything that would make you feel better, get rid of the horribly sad frown on your face. 

“Maybe you can come to training tomorrow and watch! So you don’t miss out on too much, and-”

“Alexia, for the love of god, shut up.” You snapped, throwing your hands up in the air and rising from your chair. 

“Pequeña, I’m just trying to-” 

“You don’t want me to miss out on too much training, I got it. Football is the most important thing. I know that, Alexia. I know. I know I’m fucking my season right now, I know I’m fucking the team, so please just, for once, stop talking about fucking football.” 

Alexia couldn’t help the hurt that panged in her chest, or the pained look she was sure flashed across her face. You felt guilt split your chest open at the sight, but you pushed that away, trying to hold onto your anger, which was quickly fading. 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” You turned to walk out of the room, but Olga’s voice behind you made you freeze in your tracks. 

“Nena? Can you leave the door open a crack please?” 

You felt everything inside of you seize up at her words, shame and frustration and embarrassment and hurt welling up, until a few tears fell down your cheeks. God, you hated that they knew. They didn’t even know but they knew, and that was awful. Incomparably, singularly awful. 

“Why does she have to– oh.” Alexia said. She hadn’t really considered that as a possibility. She thought you just weren’t eating. This seemed… worse, somehow. When you turned around to look at her, you could tell she thought it was worse. 

“Yeah.” You agreed, turning back around and practically stomping out of the room. 

As soon as you were gone, Alexia turned to her girlfriend. “How did you know she was… doing that?” 

Olga exhaled heavily, leaning back in her chair. The two of you were going to give her a migraine, but she didn’t really blame you. Alexia on the other hand…

“I didn’t. I wasn’t sure, but I asked her to leave the door open just in case. Her reaction, though… she is.” 

“Oh.” Alexia mumbled, unconsciously reaching for her girlfriend’s hand. Olga pulled away with a shake of her head, sitting up straighter in her chair. 

“Ale, you have to relax. Talking her ear off isn’t helping right now, she’s already overwhelmed.” 

“I’m just trying to help!”

“I know you are, amor, but you have to think about how she’s feeling right now,” 

“But I don’t know how she’s feeling! I want to, but I don’t understand! I can’t understand. Keeping your body healthy is the most important thing in football, and I don’t understand why she’s done this, because I would never do this. How am I supposed to help if I don’t understand? I can’t, Olga. I can’t fix this.” 

Both women were speaking too loudly to hear your footsteps returning to the kitchen, though you paused just outside the doorway, catching the end of your sister’s sentence. 

I can't fix this. she'd said. 

I can’t understand. 

I would never do this. 

How am I supposed to help?

It sounded like she’d already given up on you. She’d decided she couldn’t understand, couldn’t help, and it was all your fault. For pushing away her attempts to help earlier, snapping at her when you knew she was just trying to make you feel better. You felt like a lost cause, but now she felt that way about you too. 

You took a deep breath, walking back into the kitchen before Olga could reply. You looked oddly pale and shaky, and though it was because you’d overheard your sister and misunderstood, Ale didn’t know that. She glanced over at you, doing a double take as her eyes widened. 

“Nena, did you…?” 

Next to the blonde, Olga suppressed a sigh. You blinked at her for a second, confused, before recoiling backwards, a scowl etched onto your face. “No. I left the door open like you told me to, and I didn’t do anything.” 

Alexia relaxed, just barely, clearly about to say something else that would be entirely wrong when Olga spoke first. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs and take a little bit, pequeña? It’s been a long day, you must be exhausted and overwhelmed.” 

Your sister nodded her agreement, and you felt your heart sink even further if possible. Of course they didn’t want to deal with you anymore today. You didn’t say you’d rather be with them, because the loneliness would be almost too much to bear. You just nodded, eyes fixed on the hardwood floor under you as you turned and left the room once more.

—

Alexia felt slightly more prepared to talk to you when she knocked on your door a half hour later. She’d done some quick research, compiling another list in her head of what to say and what not to say. She’d tried to convince Olga to go up and check on you instead of her, because all the midfielder seemed to be able to do today was mess up, but Olga had insisted that it be Alexia. You needed your sister, and Alexia needed to make up for the absolute disaster she’d been earlier. 

All she got in response to her knock was a sharp huff. 

“Chiqui? Can I come in?” 

“I guess.” You called back. Alexia opened your door, slipping inside and finding you sprawled on your bed, staring hard at the ceiling. 

She hovered in the doorway uncertainly, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she settled on what she wanted to say. “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I’m feeling?” You snapped, glaring at her harshly. 

“Hey,” Alexia tried, though she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to scold you for catching an attitude with her. She didn’t know what any of the rules were anymore. 

You shook your head with an annoyed huff. “What do you want, Ale? I thought I didn’t need to talk any more today.”  

And Olga had promised you that. Alexia was just hoping, perhaps naively, that you’d want to talk to her more. Instead, it seemed like you were barely holding yourself back from forcibly shoving your sister out of your room.

Any other time, any other situation, Alexia would have shouted at you to be respectful. Both of you knew that. It only made you feel worse that she felt that she had to tiptoe around you. She was treating you differently already and you hated that. 

Alexia studied you for a few moments, before walking over to your bed and taking a seat on the edge of it. She put her hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it off, and Alexia bit her lip.  You noticed she was wearing this absurd shirt you’d gotten her as a joke a few years ago, one that proclaimed her as the world’s best sister. Really, you’d given it to Ale to spite Alba after arguing with her, though you’d also gotten Alba one a few days later, just to make sure her feelings weren’t hurt. Alexia wearing it now could have been completely accidental, or it could have been some kind of weird confidence boost she was trying to give herself. Either way, you felt emotion try to claw out of the pit you’d shoved it into, but you pushed it down again. 

“I just want to help you.” The blonde said finally, her hands fiddling with a stray thread on your comforter. 

You scoffed, sitting up off your bed and turning to face your sister. “You don’t mean that.” 

Alexia’s head whipped up to look at you, an absolutely crestfallen look on her face. “Of course I do. Why would you say that?” 

“You don’t. You said so earlier, you don’t understand, you can’t understand, you’d never do this. How are you supposed to help? You can’t, so don’t pretend that you want to.” You were fully crying now, pacing around your room but absolutely refusing to make eye contact with Alexia. 

The midfielder’s heart sank as you threw her words back at her. She hadn’t known you’d overheard her, hadn’t realized how that had sounded. She’d been begging Olga to give her some guidance, not expressing that she’d given up on you, that she didn't really want to help you. 

“Oh, mi pequeña,” Alexia whispered, standing and pulling you into a hug. You didn’t hug her back, even as her arms wrapped tight around you, and she pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “That’s not what I meant, not at all. I’ve never been through this, nena, and it’s hard for me to understand, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you. I do, more than anything.” 

“You shouldn’t bother. It’s hopeless, I can’t do this.” You sobbed, finally hugging Alexia back, clinging on tightly to her shirt. 

“It’s not hopeless. It might feel like it is, but I am never going to give up on you, on trying to understand, on trying to help. Never, nena.” 

You pulled away for her, guilt once again replacing anger. Taking a few shuddering breaths, you tried to get your thoughts in order, or, you supposed, your feelings in order. You looked at your sister again, her arms at her sides as she looked at you helplessly. 

“You’re being too patient with me.” You whispered, sitting down heavily on the edge of your bed. 

Alexia took a seat next to you, feeling like maybe… maybe she did know what to say. “No. I don’t think I’m being patient enough.”

You shook your head, though still allowed your sister to grab your hand in hers. Whether it was for your comfort or for hers, you weren’t sure. Maybe both. “I’m not…I’m not sick. This problem, it’s all mental. I don’t deserve for everyone to be this kind and this patient. I chose this.”

There was a certain guilt that accompanied all of this. A real sickness, in your mind, wasn’t something that a person inflicted onto themselves. This was your fault. You had started it, you had continued it, and you’d let it get so bad that other people had to intervene. You didn’t deserve your sister’s patience. 

Alexia gripped your hand tighter. “You are sick. Your brain is sick. And while you get better, you deserve all the kindness and patience. You made choices that got you here, but you are sick, hermanita. Just a different type than you’re used to.” 

You looked at her tearfully, an almost pleading expression on your face. “I don’t know how to get better, Ale. I don’t know if I can.” 

Alexia understood, then, that you weren’t pushing her away because you didn’t want her help, necessarily. You just didn’t want to waste her time when the task ahead of you felt so entirely impossible. 

“I don’t know either. I don’t really know how to help you, but I’m going to find out, and I’m going to do it. Whatever it takes, nena. You are my baby sister, and you are worth the effort. I’m not going to give up on you. Not ever.” 

For a moment, you looked at Alexia like you used to look at her. When you were tiny and she was your perfect, safe older sister. Your Ale, who let you sleep in her bed after bad dreams, who double knotted your shoelaces in the morning, and carried your backpack to class. Who taught you how to kick a football, and that you could be anything you wanted. You looked at Alexia like she’d hung the stars and the moon, like she could do anything. 

That look used to make her feel like she could do anything, your belief in her something she could always count on. Now, the determination in Alexia’s eyes made you feel like you could do anything, just for a moment. You needed more than a moment, though.

—

If it wasn’t bad enough that you couldn’t play, couldn’t train, couldn’t even spend time in the gym without close supervision, you were seeing the specialist psychologist that the club had brought in every single day. The first few sessions didn’t heed much. It seemed she was trying to create a rapport with you, getting to know you before she tried to get you to bare your soul to her. 

It was after your fourth session with your therapist, Lucia, that she began to press you to talk about the issue at hand. And it was after your fourth session that you found yourself speed walking out of Lucia’s office, not watching where you were going, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

You were desperately hoping not to run into any of your teammates, as the facts of what was going on had been kept strictly between the captains and the coaching staff. Your teammates, however, would have had to be blind to not realize something was going on. All they’d been told was that you were out of training and matches for the time being. 

Maybe some of them would have asked more questions if not for the terrifying shadow that your sister had become. She walked you to Lucia’s office every day, tried her best to be waiting outside when you were done. Any time you spent with the team, normally just coming out to the pitch to say hello, Alexia hovered behind you, shooting anyone a death glare if they so much as looked like they were going to ask you something deeper than “how are you?” 

You half wondered if your Mami had put her up to this, because the last time you’d seen Alexia this protective was when you were 6, and you’d been getting teased at school. A few words from Eli to Alexia had your sister walking you to your classroom one morning, and making verbal threats to half the boys in the room. Alexia had been scary then, even as a teenager, and her actions had been more than effective. 

This behavior might just be all Alexia, although you knew she’d told Eli and Alba what’s been going on. You didn’t want them to know, and Alexia had hesitantly agreed not to tell them. Later, though, Olga had pulled you aside and said that it would probably be helpful to both you and Alexia to have other opinions involved, and for Alexia not to carry the stress of this all on her own. She had a point, there, and you’d given Ale the go ahead to inform your Mami and Alba. She’d done so, but aside from phone calls from each of them, they’d been respecting your space. 

Everyone, really, had been respecting your space. Aside from a new meal plan from the team’s nutritionists that you’d been trying your best to follow, no one had been forcing you to talk. 

Until today. 

Lucia had pushed you for the first time, and you’d tried your best to be open with her. It went against every instinct you had, though, and you could barely stick to a narrative with Lucia. For half the conversation, you’d admitted that there was a problem. For the other half, you’d denied it, until you were sure you’d contradicted yourself several times. 

She’d let you go 10 minutes early, probably because you were in tears and had gone pretty much silent on her; she must have decided she’d pushed you enough for the day. It was in this state, tears falling freely down your face, that you exited her office. You turned the corner towards the changing room, intending to grab your bag from your locker and see if Olga would come pick you up early, instead plowing directly into Mapi. 

“Woah! Where’s the fire?” She joked, grabbing your arms to steady you. Her smile fell, though, when she saw that you were crying. “Pequeña? You okay?” 

It was clear for anyone to see that you weren’t okay, but Mapi wasn’t quite sure how willing you’d be to talk to her, so she decided to give you an out in case you wanted to go find your sister instead. Mapi wasn’t expecting the broken sob that you let out, or the way that you shook your head, so easily admitting that something was wrong after so long of pretending the opposite to be true. 

“Do you want me to go get Ale?” The defender asked softly. 

Again, you shook your head. How could you explain that you were crying because of your sister to your sister. “N-no. She’s busy.” 

“She wouldn’t mind, nena, you know that.” 

That was entirely the problem. She was being too patient, too perfect, it was almost overwhelming. There was too much pressure on you to be perfect, too. A perfect recovery didn’t exist, but you felt like it had to. For Ale, for Lucia, for the club and the team. It felt like you were hurtling towards some unknown end, the pressure building everyday. You weren’t sure how much more you could take. 

“She’s dealing with enough of this. It’s fine. I’m fine.” You spoke as if you were trying to convince yourself, but the wobbling of your voice gave you away. 

“Venga,” Mapi sighed, opening her arms for a hug. She half expected you to reject her, but was pleasantly surprised when you stepped forward and wrapped yourself tight around her. You were trembling, and she tightened her grip on you, wondering if she should ignore what you’d said and go get Alexia anyway. She didn’t want to betray your trust, though, and it seemed very obvious that you didn’t want to see your sister at the moment, so Mapi settled for some empty words she hoped were somewhat comforting.

“It’s all gonna be okay, pequeña. Whatever it is, you’re going to be okay.” 

“How do you know?” You mumbled, sniffling into the shoulder of her training top, half embarrassed and half too tired to even care.

Mapi rubbed your back slowly, thinking on her answer. She just… knew.

 “You don’t give up. You’re a determined person, and you can do anything you put your mind to. Whatever is going on isn’t any different. You’re strong enough for anything, nena.”

Pulling away, you wiped at your face, managing a weak smile for the defender. “Thanks María.” 

She smiled sadly back at you, as if she knew what she’d said hadn’t really helped. “Anything you need, I’m here, sí? We all are.” 

You nodded, thanking her again before you continued on your way to the locker room, hopefully where you’d be able to grab your stuff and get out of her before seeing anyone else. Especially Alexia. You got lost in your thoughts again rather quickly, barely able to focus when Olga answered her phone and told you to wait for her outside. You were too wrapped up in what Mapi had said. 

‘You’re a determined person.’ 

‘You’re strong enough.’

You didn’t feel strong. You didn’t even feel very determined. You felt weak, like it was only a matter of time before you cracked and let everyone down. And everyone would see just how weak you really were.

—

The house was too quiet when Alexia and Olga arrived home from dinner. No music playing, no mindless reality show on the TV. And you were nowhere to be seen. Alexia slid her shoes off, offering a hand out to steady Olga as the other woman removed her heels. 

“Something’s wrong.” Alexia murmured, looking up the stairs as if she could see through the walls into your room. She didn’t know what was wrong or what had happened, but she just knew something wasn’t okay. “I shouldn’t have left her.”

Olga shook her head, though, giving her girlfriend a sad smile. “You can’t always be with her, Ale. This is something she has to do herself sometimes.” 

The blonde frowned. “But what if…” 

“If she did, you tell her it’s okay. You tell her that relapsing is a part of getting better, and that you’re not upset with her.” Alexia nodded slowly, worrying her lip between her teeth. Olga grabbed her hand, squeezing once. “If she did, she probably just wants a hug, amor. She doesn’t want to hear that you feel guilt for leaving her to her own devices. She’s already going to feel like she broke your trust, and that would only make it worse.” 

For a second, Alexia just stared in wonder at her girlfriend. Because, of course, it all made sense when Olga explained it, but Alexia would never have considered things from that perspective. Before Olga even knew what was happening, Alexia was wrapping her in a tight hug, tucking the shorter woman’s head under her chin.

“Thank you. I would have messed this up so many times without you, and I’m so grateful that you’re here and you’re so willing to help.” 

Olga hugged her back with a matching ferocity, feeling a small smile grow on her face. Once, she’d expressed to Alexia that she felt the other woman wasn’t expressive enough. It was hard to know what the very tough captain was thinking, even harder to know what she was feeling. Since then, Alexia had made a concerted effort to speak her feelings aloud. It wouldn’t ever not make Olga smile to hear Alexia expressing her appreciation for her. “You don’t have to thank me.” 

“Maybe I don’t have to, but I want to. I don’t want you to ever doubt how perfect you are.” Alexia replied sweetly, pressing a gentle kiss to Olga’s cheek. 

It wasn’t the perfect date night that either of them had imagined, but it was still them, and that was enough. 

—

You really hadn’t meant to ruin Ale and Olga’s evening. When they’d left, you thought it would be nice to have some time to yourself. And it would have been, if you hadn’t tried to push yourself to eat dessert on top of an entire dinner. You’d managed a few bites before you began to spiral, and it had all gone downhill from there. 

Even still, you were hoping your sister and her girlfriend would slip into the house, say a brief goodnight, and not bother themselves with you. You certainly weren’t going to tell them what happened. Not today. It was your every intention to deal with your shame and embarrassment yourself in your room, which likely entailed crying into your pillow until you fell asleep. 

Alexia ruined your plans, though, with her magical ability to sense when something wasn’t right. It allowed her to sniff out one of Pina’s pranks before it happened, allowed her to turn around and squirt Mapi with water just as the defender was about to do the same to her. It was a gut feeling, and it was even stronger when it involved you. 

It wasn’t really magical. It was a lot of little things she picked up on. The little smirk Pina got before she pulled a prank. Mapi’s quiet giggling as she tried to sneak up on Ale. Now, it was the lack of noise in the house. The abandoned bowl of ice cream on the kitchen table, the light and fan left on in the downstairs bathroom. Your sister had known you all her life, and she knew what she’d find when she opened your bedroom door. Just like when you were little, and you’d sit at the foot of your bed when you’d gotten in trouble. Tears streaming down your little face, you’d turn away from Ale when she’d come after you, but she just had to wrap her arms around you, and you’d break. 

You’d never been able to deny yourself the comfort of an Alexia hug. 

Ale knocked softly before entering, finding you with your chin resting on your knees, wiping roughly at the tears falling down your face. 

“Hey, chiqui.” She said softly. 

“Hi.” You said, clearing your throat when your voice cracked. “How was your night?” 

Alexia ruffled your hair, knowing exactly what you were attempting to do, and took a seat next to you. “It was nice, dinner was good. We had fun.” 

“That’s good.” 

Alexia wrapped her arm around your shoulders. “You can tell me if something happened.” 

“Nothing happened.” You said firmly, though you leaned further into your sister, like she could protect you from something you’d done yourself. Something you’d done to yourself.  

“Pequeña,” 

“Nothing happened, Ale. Nothing.” 

How could you tell her? How could you tell her that you’d failed, that you’d messed up, that you’d deviated from the plan? She was going to be upset, you knew it. She expected perfection. She always had. This would be no different. Alexia wanted you to have a perfect recovery. 

As you continued to pretend nothing was wrong, Alexia felt a flash of frustration run through her. You still weren’t very willing to talk to her. Was she doing something wrong? Was she not not being patient enough or kind enough? What more could she do for you? What would it take for her to be enough? 

She looked at you again, though, at the way your lower lip was wobbling, and the tears in your eyes that you refused to let fall. You were barely hanging on to your strength, and Alexia wasn’t sure why you were so resistant to being vulnerable with her, but she knew she couldn’t stop trying. 

“Let me in. Please, you’re hurting, I can tell. Just talk to me.” She tried. When you stayed silent, she reached out, resting a hand on your shoulder. “I just want to help, nena. Let me help.”

You couldn’t take the pleading tone of your sister’s voice anymore, and the words streamed out of you before you could stop them. 

“I’m sorry. I– It was all just too much, I didn’t have a choice, I had to,” You choked out, eyes fixed firmly on the wall in front of you, even as your voice cracked and you started to cry. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ale.” 

“Nena, why are you sorry?” Alexia asked, pulling you into her. You sobbed, unrestrained, into her sweater for a few moments, leaning back to take a few gasping breaths as you tried to answer her. 

“I– I messed up,” you cried. “I broke your trust and–”

“No, cariño, don’t think of it like that.” Alexia interrupted, wiping a few tears off your cheek, though more replaced them quickly. 

“But it is like that! The minute you left I made myself–” You cut yourself off with a sharp shake of your head. 

“Tell me. Tell me what happened, and we can talk through it, yeah?” 

“You don’t want to hear.” 

“Yes I do. That’s why I asked. Walk me through what happened and we can make a plan for next time.” 

It was always about plans with your sister, but you weren’t in much of a state to argue with her.

“I– I ate dinner. And it was okay. It was better. I think it got too confident or I wasn’t thinking hard enough but I got myself some ice cream but I only had a few bites before I was thinking about all the calories in it and how I’d have to skip breakfast tomorrow to make up for it, and then I remembered I have breakfast plans with Alba and I would have to eat and so I knew I had to–... I went to–,” 

You couldn’t go on, crying too hard to get another word out. You covered your face with your hand, more than humiliated at your tears and what you were trying to tell your sister. It felt horribly private, and you didn't want to see the disgust and judgment on your sister’s face. You’d never given her this much detail before, and you were sure she didn’t want to hear this. 

If you’d just opened your eyes, though, you would have seen the opposite of what you were expecting. Alexia was near tears herself, simply from seeing the pain that you were in. You were normally so good at hiding it; even when Alexia knew something was wrong, she couldn’t truly see how much it affected you. Now, though, something in you had broken, and you were falling to pieces in front of her. 

She hadn’t seen you cry like this since you’d broken your ankle training with her a few years ago. All she’d been able to think to do while she waited for Eli to come pick you both up was pull you into her lap, though you were too big for it. 

And it was all she could think to do now, allowing you to tuck yourself into her and cry as hard as you needed to. She held you tightly, as if she could stabilize the world as it crumbled around you, her own tears falling freely now. 

“Alright, alright. It’s okay. It’s all okay, hermanita.” 

“It’s not.” You sobbed, bordering on hysterical now. “I le-let you down.” 

“No,” Alexia disagreed.  “No. You didn’t let me down. This is part of it, chiqui. Part of recovery is relapsing, and I will never ever be disappointed in you for that. I know this isn’t easy.”

You simply didn’t believe her. She had to be disappointed, so you had to keep trying to justify it. 

“I-I hate feeling like this.  I just needed to control something. I just needed to be in control.” 

“I get that. It must be really scary to give up control over what’s going in your body. Listening to the meal plans and eating what we tell you has to be so difficult.” 

And though it was what you’d wanted all week, to hear Alexia acknowledge how hard this was, it didn’t feel right. You were convinced she was just saying whatever she needed to to get you to stop crying, that she was disappointed, even if she wasn’t showing it. She shouldn’t have to push down her justified anger because you were a disaster, she should be mad at you. 

“No, Ale, stop.” You said, though you didn’t have the strength to push away from where your face was buried in the fabric of her sweater. “You’re disappointed, you want to yell. Just yell, please. It’ll make you feel better, and you won’t be mad at me anymore, so please. Just yell. I messed up. I deserve it.” 

Alexia was quiet for almost a full minute. It felt like a stab to the chest that you thought she had to yell in order to work through her feelings. That you were so convinced she was angry with you, disappointed in you. That you were willing to sit through a lecture because you felt so guilty for what you’d done. She hated it all; you weren’t to blame. You were doing your best. She could see that, everyone could see that, so why couldn’t you?

It was as if you thought of yourself as a bad person for having an eating disorder. As if every relapse, every action you’d taken in the haze of your illness, made you a bad person. Being sick didn’t make you bad, and your sister ached to make you see that. 

“Tell me something. After you make yourself throw up, what do you feel? What goes through your head?” 

The question felt like it came from nowhere, the confusion you felt putting a stop to your tears. Instead, you breathed deeply for a minute, thinking. Hearing her say it made your stomach drop. You didn’t like to name it in your head. It was just… something you did, and if it remained unnamed, it wouldn’t matter. 

But it did matter, and even though she was supposed to be mad, Alexia was rubbing your back like you mattered, and it was all so confusing that you just found yourself answering. 

“Awful. Ashamed and embarrassed and disgusted. Guilty. I hate myself after I do it. It feels like the world is ending because I have to start over, like all the progress I’ve made was for nothing.”

“Does it make you feel like a bad person?” 

At this, you jolted away from Alexia, staring at her with wide eyes. What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“I guess. I… I know I’m doing something wrong, something I shouldn’t be doing. I know I’m hurting my body and I know I’m hurting the team and my career. I’m doing something wrong and that makes me feel like I’m bad.” You admitted. Completely unsure where that confession had come from, you stared at your sister as you waited for her reply, as if you were shocked by your statement. She didn’t seem to be. 

“It is wrong because it is unhealthy. It is wrong because you are hurting yourself. But… doing something ‘wrong’ doesn’t make you bad. You aren’t a bad person for being sick, you aren’t a bad person for relapsing. You’re doing your best, nena. You are trying. And even if you weren’t, that wouldn’t make you bad.” 

You didn’t fully believe her, and Alexia could tell. This wasn’t something she could fix with a few words, though, and she knew that. Tomorrow, she’d make sure you talked to Lucia about this, but for now, she was content knowing that you weren’t crying anymore, and you looked significantly less distressed. 

“You’re really not mad? Or disappointed?” 

Alexia swallowed the lump in her throat at your question. “I’m really not. I’ve done my research, I’ve talked to your doctor, I knew to expect this, nena. It’s okay, it’s part of getting better. It can’t all be perfect, it won’t all be perfect. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to try, and I’ll be proud of you. I am proud of you.” 

You wondered how Alexia had gone from a disaster that could barely put a sentence together without saying the wrong thing to this; saying exactly what you needed to hear from her and more. Likely, it was a combination of Olga, the research you know she’d stayed up late doing, and sheer determination to help you the best she could. 

“I know this is hard in a lot of ways,” Alexia continued. “But you can talk to me. Always. Without worrying that I’ll be mad or upset. I promise you, pequeña, you can tell me anything. I’m here to help you.” 

“I just hate talking about this.” You admitted. “I don’t like being vulnerable.” 

“I know you don’t. You never have.” Alexia chuckled, thinking about how Eli used to have a jar set on the kitchen counter called the feeling’s jar. If you were upset about something, you were supposed to tell your Mami or your sisters about it, but that almost never happened. Instead, Eli gave you the option to write the feeling down and put it in the jar for someone to read later, when you weren’t in the room. It was the best any of them could do to understand what was going through your head, even as a child. “Would it make it better if I was vulnerable too? If I talk about something hard with you?” 

You laughed, thinking she was joking, but when you glanced at her, she was completely serious, earnestly staring at you. 

“Maybe.” You said suspiciously, highly doubtful that Alexia was about to tell you anything that really mattered to her. If you were stubborn about your feelings, it was because Ale was too. 

Alexia just nodded, almost solemnly, fixing her attention on the ceiling above you both before she began speaking. “This season… this season has been harder. It’s always been hard switching off from football and taking a break when I need to, but it’s like… I have all this stuff outside of football that deserves my attention too. And it’s even harder now.” 

“Other stuff… being Olga?”

Your sister nodded, blushing just slightly. “I need to spend less time doing extra training and watching film and obsessing over strategies.  I just… I can’t. I can’t do it. I have to train every day. I have to do the most that I can.” 

“Or what?”

“Or… I don’t know. I’d feel bad. I’d fail the team. But if I don’t find a better balance…” Alexia paused, taking a deep breath. You could have cried, again, from how much you appreciated her in that moment. Telling you things you knew she struggled to share, so you’d feel less alone. “Olga is always on me about self care, and I’m worried I’ll lose her if I don’t figure out how to take breaks and leave football behind when I come home, at least a little. And I really, really don’t want to lose her.” 

You thought hard, knowing that Alexia deserved the absolute best advice you could give her, even if she wasn’t explicitly asking for it. 

“I don’t think you’re going to lose her, Ale. But I think she deserves better than being second best to your job until you retire. It’s like you said, you need a balance. Sometimes, football is going to come first. That’s just part of the job. But you also have to make sure she comes first too, sometimes. Even if you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable, like miss an extra training session or not watch all the available film you can get your hands on.” 

By the time you stopped talking and looked at your sister, she looked almost stunned, as though she wasn’t expecting you to have anything very helpful to say. 

“When did you get good at giving relationship advice?” She asked. “The last time I asked you for advice like this you told me to spray paint I love you on Jenni’s car as an apology.” 

You laughed. “That was like… 10 years ago, Ale. I’ve grown up.” 

“You really have.” Your sister got a rather pensive look on her face, as if she was just seeing for the first time that you were no longer a little kid. In effort to avoid any further sappiness, you voiced the idea that had popped into your head a few minutes ago. 

“Didn’t Olga say she doesn’t have much work to do tomorrow? You should take her to lunch.” 

“We have training.” Alexia said automatically.

You rolled your eyes. “I know. Skip. It’s a gym session and film that you’ve probably already watched. Skip it and take your girlfriend out. No one will care.” 

It was clear that the idea made Alexia uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. Her posture had become stiff and her hands were clenched almost as tightly as her jaw was. 

 But she thought about the last time she’d done something spontaneous for Olga, and the way the brunette's face had lit up. It had just been flowers picked up on the way home from training, but it had clearly meant a lot to her. Alexia wanted to see that look on Olga’s face again. Soon. 

“Okay.” She agreed hesitantly. “How do I skip? Is it like school? Should I lie and say I’m sick?” 

You laughed again, but Alexia joined in this time. “No, tonta. Just say you have a personal commitment. It’s not like anyone is going to ask questions.” 

“Mmm. Well, you’re coming with us.” 

You looked at her like she was stupid. “No I’m not. That would ruin the romantic date with your girlfriend.” 

Alexia frowned, trying to think of a way she could make you a part of this too. A way she could make you want to try because she was trying. “Fine, but I’m bringing you back lunch, okay?” 

Suddenly, you looked just as uncomfortable as your sister had, but you agreed nonetheless. You couldn’t not try if Alexia was trying. And you both knew that what you had to do was harder than what she had to do. It wasn’t really about that, though. It was about your sister understanding how difficult this process was, and telling you that you didn’t have to be perfect, just like she wasn’t. 

Recovery wasn’t perfect. Existing wasn’t perfect. It was about trying. It was about knowing there needed to be a change, and doing your best to make one. 

Trying your best didn’t have to be perfect, or without fault. Alexia almost threw herself into a panic attack the next day when she remembered she was missing a captains meeting, but Olga had calmed her down and Irene had promised to send her copious notes. 

The look on Olga’s face had made it all feel worth it when Alexia had asked her of the plan you’d come up with. 

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?” Alexia had asked casually, as her and Olga stood side by side at the stove, cooking dinner. 

“After training?” Olga had wondered, confused. 

“No. No training tomorrow, I’m taking the day off.” 

It was very worth it when Olga practically dropped the wooden spoon she was holding and launched herself at Alexia, wrapping the taller woman in a tight hug. It was so, so worth it when Olga whispered a soft I’m proud of you in Alexia’s ear. 

It wasn’t easy when you tried to eat lunch the next day. It wasn’t easy when you were done, and when you cried into your sister’s shoulder, when all you wanted to do was get rid of it. 

But it was worth it later, when Alexia told you how proud she was of you, and you knew she meant it. You believed her. The next day, when Lucia told you she thought you were making good progress. Every step forward wasn’t without some faltering, but you moved forward anyway.

You moved through recovery. Forwards and backwards. Mostly forwards. Returning to training, to matches, to doing what you loved. To feeling like yourself again. 

It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t perfect, but change was worth it. Getting better was worth it. 

—

didn't plan on finishing this and getting it out tonight but it was flowing really well and i... think... i'm... happy... with.... it??? anyway! thanks for reading <3

[gatheringbones]

[“It was only after I came out as a dyke that, for the first time in my life, I felt ready to celebrate being a girl, and I did. Actually, I overdid. Armed with Esther Newton’s Mother Camp, Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble, and Joan Nestle’s A Restricted Country, I embraced femme. I dressed up in short flowery dresses, pushup bras, satin panties, and lacy stockings. I paid great attention to my long, curly, perfectly-coiffed hair, my glamorous makeup, and especially my pouty lips. I spritzed Lola’s smell on my skin—Estee Lauder’s Private Collection—and painted my nails. I wore all of it with black combat boots and a brilliant sense of irony. I reveled in my girliness, went over the top, learned how to tweeze my eyebrows and line my lips with a lip pencil.

My gender presentation was unmistakable: blatant female sexuality. I was a proud, in-your-face, take-no-prisoners, uppity, don’t-assume-I’m-straight-because-I-wear-lipstick-and-dresses femme dyke. Because femmes are always assumed to be straight or sleeping with men, and I do sleep with men, I made sure to always have a butch on my arm so I’d be read as femme. Even though I was sure I’d be mistaken for straight, the boys took one look at me and steered clear. It was as if I was too much of a woman for them to handle, like I was a handful, and I was. But butch girls love a handful—a handful of tits, a handful of ass, a girl who needs to be handled, a girl who can handle herself.

How I figured out I was a femme had a lot to do with the women I was attracted to and the dynamic between us. When I was in junior high, I used to mess around with a friend of mine named Angela. Angela was one of those girls who developed early; I remember she had big breasts in like sixth grade. We mostly kissed and touched over clothes, and we played out various boy-girl scenarios. I was always the girl—my early femme roots. My favorite of all our little scenes was the one where she was my male boss and I was the secretary. The boss made me have sex with him and told me if I didn’t I would get fired. Now this was all before Clarence Thomas, Anita Hill and the media awareness/obsession with sexual harassment. I remember she’d tell me to suck her dick and push my face unmercifully into her crotch, which smelled amazing,. The drama of it all—the force, the degradation, the power games—really got me off. After that, there was no going back to simplicity. I was hooked on the power.

Jen really epitomized all the girls I was attracted to then and still am. Being with a butch girl, I was valued for my combination of strength and vulnerability, for dressing up, for wanting an arm to hold onto, hips to wrap my legs around, being able to give my body over to her and say, I trust you, I’m yours. My butch loved me in low-cut dresses, appreciated my sexual voraciousness, worshipped my inner slut. I reveled in the fact that I could be strong and submissive all at once. Surrender and still be a feminist. Being a dyke is not just about who I fuck and love, it’s about being a girl who doesn’t play by the rules.

Butch girls don’t play by the rules either, and I love butch girls. Girls with hair so short you can barely slide it between two fingers to hold on. Girls with slick, shiny, barbershop haircuts and shirts that button the other way. Girls that swagger. Girls who have dicks made of flesh and silicone and latex and magic. Girls who get stared at in the ladies room, girls who shop in the boy’s department, girls who live every moment looking like they weren’t supposed to. Girls with hands that touch me like they have been touching my body their entire lives. Girls who have big cocks, love blow-jobs, and like to fuck girls hard. Every day, it is the girls that get called Sir that make me catch my breath, the girls with strong jaws that buckle my knees, the girls who are a different gender that make me want to lie down for them.

Someone else said it about me recently and it’s right on target: “She gets off on all different sorts of people sexually, but she falls for butches.” Like the poet who bought her first strap-on with me and then wanted to sleep with it on. The shrink-in-training who got harassed every time she drove down South. She did look so much like a fifteen-year-old boy: blue button-down shirts, neatly-combed blond hair. The ad exec who had names for her dildos and used to love for me to spit-shine her wingtips. The photographer whose face was so mannish she could pass almost anywhere. The writer who wanted a body like Loren Cameron’s. The telephone repairwoman who drove a truck. The cook who had a boy’s name. The academic who got cruised by gay men on Castro Street. The cornfed farmboy from the Heartland with arms so hard and strong you swear they’ve been working the land, not the iron at the gym.

And there’s the one who’s got the James Dean stare down, and dresses like a clean-cut fag, and looks at me like she could look at me forever and never blink or grow tired or move from the spot she’s in. She’s a girl who loves girls like me—girls in velvet bras, girls who want to surrender to her mouth. She’s a girl who isn’t afraid to throw a femme down on the bed and fuck her. Possess her. My kind of girl. This girl is different.”]

tristan taormino, from this girl is different, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[ericityyy]

Hi!

Can i request a fluff georgie x reader where he is head over heals with her?

The family dont know who she is (just sheldon bcs they are in the same university and she is very smart), but one day georgie takes her back home to hang out as friends and the family falls in love with how kind smart and charming she is and they are like: "this is the one for him"

Your writing is wholesome 😚

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘎𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘦’𝘴 “𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥” 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘍𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺

𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚: 𝘍𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘹 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵

𝙏𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘍𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1,632

𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

Sometimes when you look at someone you like, you get this feeling of time slowing down around you but fast forwarding to the moment you imagine yourself with that person. That feeling is what Georgie experiences when with her. Y/N L/N. There are many beautiful girls around the world, but nothing can compare to her.

She’s beautiful in his eyes, no matter what setting they are in, whether it is dark or not. She glows in his eyes. When it’s bright, she’s the cause. When it’s crowded, she’s the only one he sees. When they’re alone, nothing else matters. Needless to say, Georgie will always be proud to admit that he is down bad for this girl, and yet he couldn’t find the courage to do it in front of her.

It is no secret that Georgie is not particularly the smartest one in the family; however, that does not mean that he is dumb. He’s smart in his own way. Everyone is. It’s always comforting when she tells Georgie that he’s not dumb, as other people put it. In her words, she is "book smart” and the boy is “street smart," to which the latter agrees since Y/N does not go outside much.

There’s more ways to enjoy herself in the comfort of her home, more specifically in her room, where all her books and experiments reside.

That’s why she was left confused when she found herself at Dairy Queen with Georgie. How he convinced her to hang outside, she doesn’t know. Clearly it was one of Georgie’s talents to be so convincing. Partly, it was because Y/N couldn’t say no to the boy.

“After graduating high school, I just go to Dr. Sturgis’ class for the hell of it.” Y/N explains while scooping up some ice cream, “My parents are trying to convince me to go to a university and finish my studies altogether; honestly, they just want to brag to our relatives that I graduated college at such a young age.” She furrowed her eyebrows while letting out a bitter smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I don’t want to rush into college, y'know? I just want to take a break from studying, but I gave them a chance to let me enroll in Dr. Sturgis’ class, but only in his class so technically, still not in college.” Y/N laughed slightly before turning her attention to the person she’s with.

Georgie nodded his head at times when Y/N was telling her story, and the girl noticed, “I’m sorry, I’ve been talking about myself; how about you? What’s the latest news going on with Mr. Georgie Cooper?" The girl smirked smugly at the boy in front of her, making the said boy chuckle nervously.

“Nothing much, really.” Georgie shrugged, not knowing what to tell, “Just the usual, religious mom, coach dad, carefree meemaw, chaotic little sister, know it all little brother, y'know the normal.”

Y/N laughed at his description of his family. Nothing is normal with the Coopers, that’s for sure, but that’s what makes them so unique in a way that the girl wants to have the pleasure of meeting them. And because of that, she blurted out, “They sound fun; it’ll be a joy to meet them personally.” She not-so-subtly hinted to Georgie, who stopped scooping his ice cream.

“Why? "Georgie squinted his eyes confusingly, not really understanding why the girl wanted to meet his family.

Y/N shrugged, playing with her spoon. “Nothing really; I just want to meet them. Is that okay?" She then asked, losing confidence in her voice, which, again, the boy noticed.

“It’s okay, just don’t let them freak you out.”

"Oh, please, how bad can they be?”

・‥...━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━...‥・

“Y/N, what were your thoughts in Dr. Sturgis’ class today? I think it was motivational. Then again, it’s not like I don’t know what the contents of his lessons are anyway.” Sheldon arrogantly bragged as he walked alongside the older girl. Although he did not know he was being arrogant, it’s just the way he presents himself to people. And Y/N has come to terms with that.

Y/N decided to humor the younger boy as they walked outside the university. “Well, I think Dr. Sturgis made a mistake during his lecture.” Sheldon looked up at her, confused with his face all frowning. “What do you mean by mistake? I’m sure I would have recognized the mistake that Dr. Sturgis made.”

The girl was about to answer when they heard a car honking, startling Sheldon in the process, before they both noticed it was “Georgie!” Y/N exclaimed, a huge smile on her face seeing her friend. She ran up to the car as the boy got out of it to open the passenger door for her.

“Ma’am, your service awaits.” Georgie pretended to tip his imaginary hat. “Why, thank you, kind sir," while Y/N attempted to mimic a British accent, almost doing it perfectly.

“Georgie?” Sheldon asked, confused as he walked to his older brother’s car, "What are you doing here? Where’s Meemaw? Will you be the one taking me home? ”

Georgie sighed a bit annoyed. “Meemaw is a bit busy right now, so I volunteered to pick you up, also because Y/N will be joining us for dinner.”

“Huh. Well, that’s delightful to hear.” Sheldon opened the backseat door, waiting for his brother to come in before speaking again. "Delightful, as in Y/N joining us for dinner and not you picking me up.”

“Would you like to walk home? ”

“No.”

“Georgie!”

・‥...━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━...‥・

“We’re home!” Georgie shouted once they came inside the door of their home. The Cooper household, it was nerve-wracking for Y/N to experience this kind of situation. She didn’t grow up with that many friends due to her isolating herself most of the time. But there’s a first time for everything.

Sheldon, after pestering Y/N with what mistake Dr. Sturgis made in his lecture, went to his bedroom to drop off his briefcase, but not before telling Y/N that “This isn’t over, L/N.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the walking boy before turning back to the nearing footsteps.

Mary came face-to-face with Y/N, not being familiar with her. “Hi, I’m sorry. Who are you?” She asked, not wanting to be rude but wanting to know this stranger inside her house.

"Oh, where are my manners?” Y/N offered her hand to the woman, giving her a beaming smile. “I’m Y/N, Mrs. Cooper. I was invited by your eldest son to dinner, but now I figure that you weren’t informed of my presence here in your humble abode.” The girl then turned to Georgie, who shrugged with a smile on his face. “I wouldn’t want to possibly intrude.”

Mary waved a hand in the girl’s direction before shaking hands with her. “Nonsense, darling, I’m happy that Georgie made friends with a gorgeous girl like yourself, and you may call me Mary.” The woman then led them to the dining table, not noticing that Y/N elbowed Georgie once her back turned to them. The boy crouches in pain, not before seeing Y/N’s overly sweet smile.

・‥...━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━...‥・

“So you mean to say that you go to the same classes with Sheldon at the university?" Missy questioned, interested in the new girl placed between Sheldon and Georgie. “And you survived being with him? Oh, I like you.”

Sheldon looked offended by his sister’s insult before looking content with their mother scolding the twin girl.

“It’s not much of a challenge anyway; I like Sheldon’s wit. It amuses me.” Y/N laughed at Sheldon’s arrogant expression.

“Do you have any religion, Y/N?” Mary asked hopefully. So far, she really likes the girl between her sons; the woman thinks that the girl is the one for Georgie.

Y/N nodded, swallowing her food before answering, “I was born and baptized a Christian, as my family is all Christians.” Mary, after receiving the answer, smiled widely at that, looking at George, motioning her head toward the girl excitedly.

“You mentioned that you graduated high school? At what age?” It was now George’s turn to ask; they were all taking turns getting to know the girl, and by that, it meant questioning her.

“Yes, Mr. Cooper. I actually graduated high school when I was 13. And now, I’m thinking about when I’m going to enroll fully in a university to get my degree. I haven’t really thought about going to college any time soon; basically, Dr. Sturgis’ lectures are just hobbies in a way.”

“And what exactly is your relationship with our Georgie here?” Connie finally asked what most of them were thinking, casually drinking a beer. Y/N choked on her pasta, with Georgie patting her back gently and offering her water, which she took. The boy noticed his family eyeing his actions toward Y/N; he sent them an eye roll.

“We’re just friends, Meemaw," Georgie answered, fighting back the urge to confess his feelings right there and then. But he figured to take this more privately than out in the open with his family present. That doesn’t really scream romantic to him.

Y/N paid no mind to his answer and rubbed her thumb on the back of his hand, smiling at him. "Thanks, darling.” She was grateful for him taking care of her when she was nearly dying earlier. “Don’t mention it, dear.” Georgie smiled back.

They didn’t notice the eyes on them, as they only saw each other right now. Needless to say, the family found the one for Georgie Cooper. He did too.

“I still don’t recall Dr. Sturgis’ mistake earlier.” Well, it was good while it lasted.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄

i am so happy receiving your request :’> you’re my first ever request in this app and i was lowkey losing hope. but thank you so much for requesting this and i hope this lives up to your expectation.

pls don’t be a ghost reader.

[xiao-come-home]

I love reading your random Boothill thoughts 🥲. Especially the one where he is a dad. Do you think he is a girl dad or boy dad?

Ahhh thank you! Ik you sent it before his story was leaked but man was this spot on 🫠 here’s some dad!boothill hc with reader because im starving

Warning: mentions of pregnant reader and all that jazz, SPOILERS FOR BOOTHILLS STORY.

I FELT IN MY BONES he was a girl dad before it was revealed to be canon! Boothill gives so much girl dad vibes it’s immaculate. He’d love to pick out pink clothes for his daughter, pink shoes, ponies and other plushies! Or rather, he loved.

That’s until you happened to get pregnant shortly before he left for his surgery. He came back a few weeks later with his new body, but no one was home. A small gift bag sat on the table, waiting for him; Boothill opened the bag and grabbed a piece of long paper, a black and white picture. A small bean present in the middle; the back of the picture held a tiny caption, that read: “I’m only a few weeks old. I can’t wait to meet you, daddy.”

Even though the wound was still fresh and open, since not long has passed since the incident on his planet - Boothill began to feel bitter determination to give his baby the best life they could ever have; this time, a life that wouldn’t see its end so fast.

Boothill is very interested in your pregnancy! He’s sometimes unable to go to every appointment (whether be it the ipc who are hunting him, or the opposite), but he knows he can’t mess it up. Not again. He’s always holding your hand when you have an ultrasound scan, glaring at the doctor and making sure they don’t hurt you or the baby, and giving your tummy so. many. kisses. He assists you in the bath, just talking to you can keeping you company, since water, cords and a pregnant human aren’t a good combo. He wants you to tell him everything.

That’s when you finally tell Boothill that you’ll have a baby girl - his mechanic heart shatters and swells with love at the same time; it’s such a strange feeling, that makes the cowboy feel a little guilty. Both of you fall silent, until Boothill makes a move and closes the distance between you, smiling sadly at you and softly caressing your stomach with his hand, “I’ll treasure her forever.”

There are days when Boothill truly feels like the hole in his heart cannot be healed after your first daughter, but he knows she’d love to have a little sister. Yet he’s here, now a cyborg and the only memory of her is just one, lonely picture. He makes sure to never let her existence fade away by telling your round tummy that he’ll love them both until the end.

On a happier note, Boothill is just. Such a good dad, but also a chaotic one sometimes, especially if your daughter inherits her dad’s personality. They’re doing everything together - if she wants to have her hair braided, he does so, and lets her braid his (even if his hair gets so tangled at first, to the point he has to cut it 😭), good god! He loves her so much and always hugs her so tightly when she runs up to him after she notices her dad is back home.

Boothill just loves hearing her little giggles and always makes her laugh! Sometimes he tickles her so much she throws her plushies at him.

Boothill wants all her milestones to be forever preserved. He has tons of pictures of her, a few photo albums - it’s never enough. He’s so proud when she says her first word, when she takes her first steps by herself, her first drawing for him (even if she drew it on the fridge with a black marker), her first birthday. He wants to give her everything she could ever have.

Boothill might've cried the night when his little baby drew him a family portrait - with you, herself, her daddy and older sister. He's injected in her every possible good memory about her, and she never fails to appreciate her older sister even if she isn't there, knowing her dad still loves her just as much.

When Boothill’s little princess cancels the weekly tea party he’s always attended, it’s HIM who feels sad about and pouty about it.

Boothill buys his daughter tons of different hats! They’re always carefully picked and he makes sure she likes them waiting for her approval, but most of the time she wants to just wear his. She doesn’t care she’s drowning in it, it’s the best because it’s Boothill’s hat.

Even though Boothill never mentioned her anything about playing guitar, one day she started to play him a tiny bit of song she learned at school - although clumsily and due to stress, Boothill listened to her and threw her in the air in happiness when she finished - he knew it was your job and couldn’t be more thankful. Once again, he made yet another guitar in his life - this time to finally listen to his little one’s music and teach her many, many other songs they’d later play and sing together.

Oh god, when Boothill’s daughter announced her “boyfriend” she met at daycare, he just stared at her with wide eyes. This is also an instance where he cried that night and you had to calm him down. Later on he insisted to be the one to take her to daycare, and gently threatened the said toddler, “look, stinker. Don’t ya dare GET NEAR ma lil’ angel, or else.” This was his last visit without your supervision. And also, your daughter just laughed at him and left… so yeah, plan failed successfully, I guess?

Mandatory naps with daddy after daycare. Well, Boothill only pretends to sleep when she looks at him - but once she falls asleep on his chest, he looks at her with so much love, gently resting on his chest and stroking her hair, that was just like his and adoring her tiny face, that he thought was the most perfect mix of you and him. Boothill shushes you with his finger quietly, when you ungraciously enter your home. A content smile appears on his lips when you give him and your daughter an apologetic kiss on their foreheads, still hearing her snoozing tenderly.

[writingwithciara]

broken legos -matt sturniolo-

summary: matt and y/n are both lego lovers so every month, they buy a set to work on together. it’s become such a normal part of matt’s routine that he doesn’t know what to do when y/n’s attention and time is turned elsewhere

word count: 5.1k

pairings: matt sturniolo x best friend reader, chris sturniolo x platonic reader

notes: i love how much matt likes legos and since he's just the cutest, i had to write this for him.

masterlist

y/n and matt weren’t really friends until the triplets 11th birthday. she attended their party only because they had invited everyone in their classes and because her mom was good friends with mary lou.

her mom had picked out an individual present for each of them. they each got a different lego set so when the boys unwrapped their gifts, y/n’s eyes widened and she looked at her mom.

“how come i can never get a lego set, mom?” she pouted.

“because, sweetheart. you never ask for one.”

“you can help me with mine if you want.” matt suggested shyly. he smiled at her so kindly and y/n found herself wondering how she had never really wanted to be friends with him in the first place.

“okay. deal.” y/n returned the smile as both her mother and mary lou beamed with pride. they were finally getting what they wanted. their kids hanging out together.

they got lego sets on their birthday every year and y/n would work with matt to put them together. what started off as an annual thing, quickly turned into a monthly thing for the two of them.

the triplets had just turned 20 & y/n bought matt a ginormous harry potter lego collection that was surely going to take up a majority of their time.

matt was excited for it. maybe even more so than y/n because over their 9 years of friendship, he had developed feelings for his best friend. he knew it wasn’t right to have the feelings but there was nothing he could do about them. their time together became special to him and he cherished every second he got to spend with her.

they immediately began working their way through the diagon alley sets and the process was about to start on the hogwarts castle.

y/n clicked the last two bricks for the gringotts bank together and looked at her creation.

“it looks so perfect. don’t you think?”

“i agree, y/n/n. you killed it.”

“no, we did it together. as a team.”

“we make an incredible team, don’t we?”

“yeah. we sure do.” y/n smiled and looked at the box that contained to castle. “how long do you think that things going to take us?”

“not too long hopefully. i wanna display it and feel proud of something for once.”

“matt, you’re a youtube star. you should be proud of all the hard work you’ve put into this career.”

“i am proud of it. but sometimes, it lacks a certain feeling. i love my fans to death but it gets overwhelming and the only way i find any escape is the time i spend with you putting lego sets together.”

“i understand that feeling all too well, matthew.” she looked at her phone to check the time. “i should be headed out soon. i have to work tomorrow and the commute is going to kill me so i need some rest.”

“why don’t you stay here tonight? i can drive you in the morning.”

“thats sweet, matt. but no. thanks for the offer but i’m fine going home now.” she smiled and stood up. matt followed her to the kitchen.

“i’m serious. we live closer to where you work so it wouldn’t take as long to get there.” he looked at her. “do you just not want to spend time with me anymore?”

“what? no. i will never feel that way about you. you know that.”

“no, i know. it’s a stupid question anyway.”

“i do want to spend time with you. i always do. it’s my favorite thing to do. but if i keep spending nights here, someone’s gonna notice and your fans will freak out and jump to conclusions.”

“yeah i guess you’re right.” he sighed. “but please? just for tonight? i can tell you’re tired and i don’t want you driving home like that. don’t know what i would do if something bad happened to you.”

“okay. i’ll stay. but only for tonight. and only because you said please.”

“that makes me feel so much better.” matt smiled. "you can take the bed and i’ll sleep out on the couch.”

“don’t be ridiculous. your bed is big enough. it’s always been big enough for the both of us. you’re sleeping in here with me.”

“well if you insist.” matt didn’t put up much of a fight. he knew she was going to make him sleep in the bed with her.

“i’m gonna go change into some comfier clothes then. see you in about 10.” y/n grabbed a pair of sweatpants and one of matt’s old t-shirts then went to the bathroom. matt quickly changed then sat in his computer chair to wait. when she came out, they both got under the covers and went to bed.

matt waited until he knew she was dead asleep before grabbing his pillow and going out to the couch. he knew she’d be upset but he could handle that. what he couldn’t handle was the warm feeling rising in his chest.

he had convinced himself that his feelings were just those of a little crush. but the more time he spent with her, the stronger they got. he had known her his whole life and despite having only been friends for 9 years, every time they talked, he was finding something new about her that he liked. he’d been trying to think less about her but it was impossible. so he started distancing himself a little.

to say y/n was upset with the distance would be an understatement. her heart was breaking. after a week, she went to chris to see if he knew anything.

“i actually have no idea why he’s being so moody lately. maybe he was talking to a girl who only wanted to use him and he doesn’t want to tell us because he’s ashamed or something.”

“that’s horrible, chris. do you think that’s what really happened?” y/n could feel her heart breaking at the thought of someone hurting matt in any way.

“i doubt that’s what happened, but there’s so many possibilities as to why he’s distancing himself from everyone.”

“yeah i guess.” y/n sighed and set the lego box on the kitchen table. “we were supposed to start this lego set this weekend but he hasn’t been talking to me so i guess i’ll have to do it by myself.”

“wait. i can help you if you want.”

“that’s nice of you, chris. but you don’t have to make up for your brothers absence in my life.”

“hey, you’re my friend too. in fact, you were my friend first actually. so i would love to start hanging out with you again.”

“okay fair point.” y/n looked from the set to chris, contemplating on his offer. “yeah. let’s do it.”

“cool. can’t wait to start.”

“wanna start tonight?”

“yeah sure.” chris smiled. “wait, i can’t tonight. we’re filming a video tonight.”

“oh. tomorrow then?”

“we could actually start tonight if you don’t mind hanging around until we finish filming.”

“you doing a car video or one in the kitchen?”

“kitchen.”

“then can i chill in your room while you film it?”

“why don’t you sit behind the camera and be like an assistant?”

“i’ve never done that before. what will i have to do?”

“you’ll just have to hand us things when we need them. and don’t worry about being on camera. i’ll have nick edit you out.”

“thanks chris. i appreciate it.” she looked around the room. “are the boys even home?”

“no. matt took nick to pick up supplies for the video.”

“why didn’t you go with them? you always do.”

“i had a feeling you’d be stopping by so i figured i’d stay home. didn’t want to miss my opportunity to see you.”

“although you weren’t the triplet i was hoping to talk to, i’m glad you were here.”

“i’m here whenever you need someone to talk to.”

“i appreciate that. thanks, christopher.”

“chris, we’re home!” nick called from the garage. “come help with the stuff.”

“one sec!” he yelled back and turned to y/n. “be right back.” he was gone before she could reply. seconds later, matt was coming up the stairs. he noticed her sitting at the table and stopped in front of the stairs. nick bumped into him and almost fell down the stairs. but once nick saw y/n too, he understood.

“matt, what the fuck? stop acting so weird. she’s your best friend, for crying out loud.” he whispered to his brother.

“just trying to figure out what she’s doing here.” matt replied, rather loudly, causing y/n’s head to shoot up. she noticed matt and sighed.

of course he would make that comment, she thought.

chris heard what matt said and pushed past his brothers to sit next to y/n.

“i invited her here to work on this lego set after we’re done filming tonight. speaking of which, she’s going to be our off camera assistant for the video. so if you have a problem with her being here, i suggest you speak up. or don’t. because she’s staying whether you like it or not.”

“i’m cool with it. it’s not a bad idea to have someone helping out off camera every once in a while.”

“sure. whatever works.” matt waved his hand around and retreated to his room. nick turned to his friend and shook his head.

“please excuse him. he’s been moody all day.”

“kid needs some action. let’s be real.”

“we could probably arrange something.” y/n scrolled through her phone, only half paying attention to the conversation. when she looked up, chris raised his eyebrow. “what? he clearly hasn’t been laid in a while so maybe we should find him someone.”

“i understood what you meant. but i never imagined the suggestion coming from you.” nick chuckled.

“i’m full of surprises.”

“alright. let’s get this video over with.” matt walked out of his room and stood at the kitchen table. he eyed chris and y/n who were conversing in a tone nobody else could hear. she glanced at matt then laughed at what chris said before the two of them were joining matt and nick in the kitchen.

y/n hit the record button as instructed and chris began introducing the video. she watched as the boys each said what they were going to do for the video. matt’s eyes lit up with excitement when he was describing his portion of the video and for a second, it made y/n’s heart melt. until he made eye contact with her and rolled his eyes. whatever she was feeling for matt was quick to disappear.

after the video was filmed, matt headed back to his room and nick went to his. y/n sat with chris at the table as they began the lego set.

“so, do you think matt’s problem is that he hasn’t fucked anybody lately and it’s just built up aggression?”

“that’s one way to put it. but yeah. it all adds up.” chris was focused on the section of the set he was tasked with assembling. his tongue darted in and out as he searched for each piece.

“i guess so.” y/n glanced behind chris at the hallway that went to matt’s bedroom. she prayed he would walk out at that very moment and everything between them would be fixed. but that didn’t happen.

over the next few hours, chris was focused more on the task at hand than y/n was so when he fell asleep at the table, she wasn’t surprised.

“chris, i think you need some rest.” she giggled at his half asleep response as he swatted her hand away.

“five more minutes. i want to get this part done.” he held the pieces up to show her what was left. she looked down at the diagram and smiled.

“that part is finished, chrissy. looks amazing. you did good.”

“thank you.”

“do you want to head to bed now?”

“will you be joining me?”

“i gotta clean up a bit but i’ll be down there in a few minutes, okay?”

“yay.” chris stood up and pulled the lego piece from his cheek. he nearly tripped down the stairs and when he got to his room, he was out like a light.

y/n on the other hand was still very much awake. as she cleaned up their work area, she couldn’t help but glance towards matt’s room. her hope was shrinking. all she wanted was to confront him and ask why he was being such an ass lately. she wanted to yell at him for breaking her heart. but she knew that if she saw him, she would crumble. no yelling would take place on her end. and at this point, she didn’t even care if he yelled at her. she just wanted to see him.

she had put the lego pieces into their designated bin and set the already assembled parts off to the side. just as she was about to head down to chris’ room, she heard a door open and footsteps entered the kitchen. she turned around and saw matt at the refrigerator. his back was turned so he didn’t notice her standing there.

“matthew bernard, we need to talk.”

“no we don’t.” he shook his head, grabbed his root beer and headed back towards his room. y/n was not about to let him go without a fight. she immediately followed and just as matt was about to get comfy at his computer, she pushed the door open and stomped inside.

“you are not pulling this shit with me, matt. it’s complete bullshit.”

“god, do you ever mind your own business?” he set his can down and rolled his eyes. “i don’t owe you anything.”

“as your best friend, i think your absence needs to be explained.”

“we can’t be friends anymore. there’s your explanation.”

“not good enough.” she sat on the edge of his bed and stared at him before averting her gaze and fiddling with her fingers. “why don’t you want to be friends anymore? did i do something wrong?”

“yes. now please leave me alone. i’m tired.”

“okay.” y/n sighed and left his room without putting up more of a fight. matt sighed and leaned back in his chair. it was killing him to hurt her this way but he had to do it. his feelings weren’t reciprocated and he needed to distance himself, whatever it took.

the next morning, y/n was quiet throughout breakfast, which was unusual to chris. she was normally a yapper like he was but when she responded to his cheery good morning with a slight head nod, he knew something was up. and he knew exactly what caused it. or more specifically, who caused her to go silent.

when they were finally alone, y/n broke down and told chris everything. she didn’t want him to be mad at matt so when she explained it all, it took all of her strength to keep him from confronting matt.

“please don’t. it’s not worth it.”

“bullshit it’s not. he’s ruining the most amazing friendship for something so stupid. he didn’t even tell you what you happened to do to cause this sudden change so he doesn’t get to be protected by you anymore. i have to kick his ass.”

“chris, please?”

“ugh, fine. but i don’t like this. you used to be so happy and calm. but now you’re the complete opposite. it changed overnight and i’m not happy about it.”

“i’ll be fine. i still have you and nick.” she smiled at her best friend. it was only a half smile. the one where chris could tell she didn’t want to do it. but he put his arm around her and smiled back.

“i’m gonna make you feel better.”

“and how do you plan on doing that, christopher?”

“by taking you to get lunch. your favorite.”

“you can’t drive, moron. but i appreciate the thought.”

“damn. what can we do that’s close to the house?”

“can we continue the lego set? we were getting so far before someone passed out.”

“hey, i was working really hard.”

“i know. you worked yourself into a deep sleep, darling.”

“if that’s what will make you happy, then let’s go finish the set.”

“yay.” y/n clapped her hands together and ran upstairs. chris chuckled and followed behind her.

“i’ll order your favorite food for lunch.” he pulled out her chair for her then sat next to her with a smile.

“chris, you don’t have to.”

“i know. but you’re my best friend and i love making you happy because i love you.”

“i love you too.”

and they both meant it. not romantically of course. but they both knew that their bond was unbreakable, even more so now than it had ever been.

matt walked out of his room when he heard y/n giggling. he didn’t expect to see y/n leaning her head on chris’ shoulder. it bothered him but there was nothing he could do about it. instead, he cleared his throat to make his presence known. y/n was the first to turn.

“oh. it’s just you. what do you want?”

“you to leave.” matt replied rather quickly, like he had been storing that answer away for this specific moment, causing y/n to stare at him in shock.

“fuck you, matt.” y/n looked at chris before sliding her chair away from the table. “i’m sorry, chris. but i can’t do this anymore.” she grabbed her phone and walked out the front door.

“what the fuck, matt?!?!” chris yelled at his brother before running after y/n.

matt watched them disappear and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. nick appeared seconds later and gave matt a look.

“what is wrong with you?” he didn’t even have to ask what happened. he heard the majority of it. “if that’s how you treat women, it’s no wonder you’re single.”

“hey, just back off. i need some space away from her.”

“and instead of telling her, like an adult, you just stopped talking to her entirely? except when you do actually speak to her, you’re the biggest asshole in the planet.” nick shook his head. “why do you need the space anyway?”

“it’s complicated, nick.” matt collapsed on the couch and took a breath before resting his head in his hands. “i’m in love with her.” for the first time since matt realized how he felt, the revelation felt real. someone else was now aware of the feelings.

“then tell her, you fucking dumbass. this isn’t healthy. for either of you. you’re breaking more hearts than needed.”

“i can’t tell her. she’s my best friend.”

“correction. she was your best friend, up until about a week ago, when you became a complete dickhead. just fucking talk to her.”

“i just can’t. it’s better this way.”

“for who, matt? for who?” nick slapped his brothers shoulder and returned to his room, leaving matt alone.

outside, y/n made it halfway down the street before chris caught up to her. when he was beside her, she slowed her pace and looked at her feet.

“i’m sorry for leaving like that, chris. i just can’t get it through my head that i was best friends with someone for 9 years and now it’s just all gone to shit.” she kicked a stone in her path and turned to enter the park. she sat on one swing while chris sat next to her on the other. “i just don’t understand what i even did for him to be acting this way, you know? if i had any idea, it might take the weight off my shoulders. but either way, it sucks.”

“yeah. i know.” chris looked over at her and sighed. “i wish things were different.”

“why couldn’t i have fallen in love with you instead? we have so much more in common and you’re actually nice to me. you care about me and matt does not.”

“you love him?” chris’ eyes widened at his best friends revelation. y/n froze for a brief moment before making the swing move side to side.

“yeah, i guess i do. and part of me just wants to yell at him and tell him he’s breaking my heart and the other part just wants to yell at him. which would be fine but i know i could never yell at him. it sucks.”

“i understand. it’s confusing, but i think i get it. and if we loved each other, then life would be simpler.”

“life is never simple for me. it’s like the universe is telling me i’m never meant to be happy.”

“why don’t you try telling matt how you feel? maybe he feels the same.”

“um, did you miss the part where i said the universe doesn’t want me to be happy? because in a perfect world, matt would definitely have feelings for me.”

“you guys are so similar and the fact that neither of you has realized that the other one is in love with you, is ridiculous. i mean, it’s pretty obvious how much you guys truly love each other.”

“i don’t think it’s-“

“oh please. the stares, the fact you’re together 24/7, the inside jokes, the way you blush when he even acknowledges you. the constant teasing. the hand holding in public so y’all don’t get separated from each other. you guys are like the little 4x1 flat lego bricks.”

“come again?”

“you’re good on your own but when you’re attached together, it’s hard to pull you apart.”

“when did you become so wise, christopher?”

“i’ve always been wise. but for matters of the heart, i’m an expert.”

“says the guy who’s never had a girlfriend before.”

“i don’t want to commit to someone if they’re not gonna stick around. i want it to be real.”

“yeah i get that. but thank you for this talk. maybe i’ll talk to matt when i’m over next time.”

“why not stay tonight? we still have to finish that lego set.”

“i’m not ready to see matt.” she sighed. “but if we can do it in your room, i would consider staying tonight.”

“you got yourself a deal. and you can even have my bed tonight.”

“such a gentleman, christopher.” y/n stood from her swing and pulled chris up. “let’s go.”

when they got back home, matt was nowhere to be found. it was like y/n’s prayers had been answered.

they quickly got to work on finishing their lego set. chris played some quiet music in the background and helped put the finishing touches on the set. when it was finished, y/n smiled widely.

“thank you for this, chris.”

“it was my pleasure. and i know i wasn’t the triplet you pictured while working on this set, but i’m glad you let me help.”

“i’d pick you any day.” she patted his knee and stood up to stretch. “i’m gonna go get some snacks from the kitchen. want anything?”

“pepsi of course.”

“should’ve known.” she playfully shook her head and walked up to the kitchen. nick was in the living room and when he saw her, he smiled.

"hey. what are you up to?"

"just grabbing some snacks for chris and i. what are you up to?" she opened the fridge and grabbed the drinks before going to the pantry and looking through the snacks.

"matt said something to me earlier and i've been thinking about it for a few hours."

"what did he tell you?"

"i think that's something he needs to tell you himself."

"that would be easy if he was actually talking to me instead of being an asshole." y/n set the snacks on the counter and turned towards the living room. it was then that she noticed the flowers on the table. "what's this?" she walked closer and looked at them. there was a note under the flowers so she picked it up and read it. it was in matt's handwriting.

i know this may be a little too late but i needed to let you know that i am sorry for being so stupid. these are your favorite flowers and i will love you until the very last one dies. i promise.

y/n inspected the flowers and noticed that one of them was made entirely out of legos. "nick, were you aware of this?"

"i wasn't aware that this would be how he was going to tell you. but i knew he loved you." nick stood next to her and smiled. "what do you think?"

"is this why he's been an ass lately? because he loves me?"

"i think so." he put his hand on her shoulder and admired the flowers. "so he loves you. do you love him?"

"i do, actually. but this isn't fair. he can't treat me the way he has been & then try to make things better by giving me a lego flower."

"maybe you guys need to talk. he's in his room." nick nodded his head down the hallway before heading up to his room. y/n glanced at the snacks, then at the hallway that lead to matt's room. she grabbed the lego flower and the note then headed to matt's room. she knocked gently and the door swung open. upon seeing her, matt's gaze softened.

"hey." he looked at her hands and saw the flower. "i see you got the note."

"i did." she walked past matt and sat in his chair while he sat on the edge of his bed. "it's not fair, matt."

"what do you mean?"

"while i appreciate the lego flower, i don't appreciate the fact that you've treated me like crap for a week and thought you could make up for it with the note and the flowers."

"i figured it wouldn't be enough but just so you know, i'm prepared to do whatever it takes to win you back. you being with chris just isn't natural."

"me and chris? is that why you've been upset these past few days? you think i'm with chris?"

"you've been spending so much time with him lately. and you guys have so much chemistry."

"well, that's ridiculous."

"so you're not with chris?"

"no. but i've come to the realization that my life would be easier if i had just fallen in love with him instead of you."

"you fell in love with me? when?"

"like 5 years ago, i think. and it's been torture just being your friend for so long. every time we'd start a new lego set, it was like falling in love with you all over again. your face would light up like a kid in a candy store and i found it so endearing whenever you'd receive a new set."

"if it helps, it's been torture for me too. i've been pretending for years that i had no feelings for you whatsoever. and i realize now that there is absolutely no real excuse for the way i acted recently. but these feelings are fairly new to me. and i thought i had gotten over what i thought was just a crush. but it turns out, i love you. and i'm always going to love you, no matter what. you can stay mad at me and that's fine. because i love you." matt's leg began to bounce as he confessed everything. y/n got up from the chair and sat beside him. "and it's been torture to see you and chris working on lego sets when that was our thing."

"working on lego sets with chris meant nothing to me. sure it was fun and i enjoy spending time with him. but it was nothing compared to doing them with you." y/n placed her hand on his calmly, stopping his leg from shaking. he looked at her and when their eyes met, matt felt like he was on fire. like he was falling in love again.

"can we start over?"

"and erase our entire history? not a chance." y/n smiled. "let's just pretend the last week didn't happen and we can pick up where we left off, if that's okay with you."

"it's more than okay with me." matt chuckled. "just promise me you won't work on anymore lego sets with chris."

"from now on, i will only work on lego sets with the person i love."

"i love you too." matt smiled and placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"you still have the hogwarts castle? or did you do it yourself?"

"i was hoping to start it with you."

"good. we can start it in the morning."

"why not right now?" matt pouted when y/n stood up.

"because i promised chris snacks and a pepsi. don't want to make him wait any longer for them."

"can't you just deliver them to him then come back? i miss you and i'm sure he'll understand."

"we'll see. but you'll understand if i don't return tonight?"

"of course. chris is important to you and i love that you guys get along so well."

"and i'm sure he'll understand it when i tell him i want to come up here to spend time with you."

"hurry back, love." matt chuckled and watched y/n disappear from his room. she walked into chris' room with the snacks and smiled at him.

"what took you so long?"

"i made up with matt and turns out, he loves me." she couldn't contain the excitement she was feeling.

"i told you he did. and i'm so happy for you." he chuckled and opened his pepsi. "i take it you want to spend time with matt again, right?"

"you're not mad, are you?"

"of course not. you're happy and that makes me happy." chris smiled. "just don't abandon me altogether."

"i promise to make time for you too, chris." she kissed his head and ran back up to matt's room, jumping on his bed. "he understood."

"great. now i can do something i've been wanting to do for months." matt pulled her close and finally kissed her. the feeling of her lips fitting perfectly with his was enough to make him feel like he was dreaming. thankfully, he wasn't. it was real and matt couldn't get enough.

being together was good for the both of them.

[astridselixir]

A/n: I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A DRAFT. I’M ACTUALLY CRYING. I FEEL SO UPSET. It was my first request too :(( This was a request from an anon but I also lost that when I deleted the draft, so anon, wherever you are, I’m sorry 🥹💔 Have this as an apology 😭

Characters: Caitlyn, Vi, Sevika, Jinx

Summary: Hcs when you sleep with them <3

Warnings: none. Just fluff and a bit suggestive ig

ִ ࣪𖤐*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Caitlyn

☆彡 Caitlyn is definitely clingy when you two sleep together. Like she just throws herself on you and she’s not ashamed of it, in fact, she’s proud of it.

She also really loves being held and will never pass up the opportunity to be the little spoon. Especially after a tiring day of work as an enforcer (with her coworkers being an ass to her), one simple hug from you and it’s as if her problems floated away. “Magic” as she would call it.

Her favorite position to sleep in would be wherein her face is all smushed up against your chest/belly. She loves it so much because it’s as close as she can get to you, letting her know that you were there and just within arms reach.

Although you aren’t sure how she gets into this specific position or how she moves without you noticing, but hey, it’s Caitlyn, you would love her even with her strange ways.

And of course, there’s the occasional worry that she might not be getting enough oxygen with her face buried onto you like that. You’ve brought this up to her a few times but she always dismisses that fact and would sometimes retort with something cheesy like: “Why would I need air when I have you, my love?” She’s such a romantic it’s adorable.

But besides that fact, sleeping with Caitlyn is always warm and comfortable. One that you can freely call a “safe haven”. Free from worries and doubts the minute she’s in your arms.

Vi

☆彡 Vi will most definitely not let you go if she doesn’t feel like it. And it doesn’t help the fact that she has an iron grip, so you know damn well there’s no way of resisting once you’re in her hold.

Let’s be real, Vi’s had a rough life so naturally, it would be hard for her to show affection. It’s something she’s ashamed of and tries her hardest to change whenever she’s with you. She’ll always try to be the best version of herself because that’s just how much she loves you.

She’s never been good with words since she’s learned how to solve problems with her fists, so it takes a bit of adjusting when you first get into a relationship together.

Because she’s not good with words, she shows her affection through actions more. These actions can be many things. From walking you home, to giving you meaningful gifts, to always taking care of you. But of course, her favorite is spending time with you and touching you anytime she can. And cuddles is the number one option when it comes down to it.

Vi is also definitely the type to whisper sweet nothings into your ear while giving you featherlight kisses all over your face, hoping to ease any pent up stress within your system as she holds you close to her.

She’s such a big softie when it comes to you and she’s not complaining <3

Sevika

☆彡 Just like Vi, you are trapped the minute Sevika pulls you down on your shared bed. She’s not afraid to cage you in her arms, causing your vision to be obscured by her muscles— which is a heavenly sight by the way. But, she knows you wouldn’t complain. And she also knows you like it too much to do so.

It’s not hard to tell that Sevika is much larger than you. Her tall frame and physique is enough to let everyone know that. You on the other hand, you’re much smaller. Not only in height but in weight too. You’re short and light, something Sevika finds adorable.

Now, let’s get something straight; Sevika isn’t soft, she’s stern and aggressive, which contrasts to your kind and lively personality.

Because of this, she isn’t afraid to tone her emotions down so you’ll be more comfortable, which is also why she’s so careful with you whenever you guys are cuddling or sleeping together— I mean, she doesn’t want to accidentally suffocate you in the middle of sleeping now does she?

Although, cuddling with Sevika either ends up becoming a make out session or her giving you multiple hickies that are impossible to cover. This woman’s libido is just too high and you are living for it.

Jinx

☆彡 Jinx 100% wraps her arms and legs around your body when you two are sleeping. She clings onto for dear life and her grip is always firm, as if not allowing you to leave unless she says so.

And her hair is most definitely just sprawled everywhere; on your face, your body, over the edge of the bed, everywhere.

She’s your unhinged, blue-haired Rapunzel 💙

Jinx is also a tease. You guys could be having such a sweet time cuddling and she’d slip her hands up your shirt and graze the skin of your stomach purposely, just to see your flustered reaction to her touch. She loves how quickly your face turns to a shade of crimson and the momentary panic in your eyes once you realize what she’s doing.

But other than that, Jinx is clingy. Like REALLY clingy.

When you guys sleep together, she would unconsciously nuzzle her face on your neck, smiling in content once she’s sure that you really are there and not just a figment of your imagination.

Because of Jinx’s past, she’s had a hard time accepting and giving affection. She’s so afraid that the minute she let’s her guard down, you’ll just get up and leave her— but you proved her wrong. You were there when Jinx was having her episodes, her breakdowns, practically all of her moments in darkness. You stayed beside her and comforted her through them.

And then and there she knew, she knew it was you she wanted to be with for life.

You were her everything. Her sanctuary, her sun, her life, her lover. She would do anything to keep you beside her, even if it meant needing to kill. But she would only resort to that if someone had badly hurt you. She’s learned to keep her impulsiveness in check since she doesn’t want to scare you off.

She knows she’s too much to bear but you’ve reassured her that she’s your too much.

And Jinx isn’t sure how many times she’s loved you even more.

(A/n: AAA FINALLY DONE. I hope you guys like it! And anon, wherever you may be, I hope you find this 😭 Thank you guys for reading and have a great day!)

[afterglowkatie]

pair of pests: proud ˏˋ°•*⁀ kyra x catley!reader, short fic/blurb

kyra cooney-cross x reader | 0.4k | something quick and inspired by kyra's first arsenal goal; part of the pair of pests universe because tiny would be the most supportive of kyra

Unlucky for you, you were on the bench and not on the pitch at the time it happened. But also in a way you were lucky to be on the bench and able to see it happen properly. Seeing the build up and watching Kyra find the back of the net. The smile on your face couldn’t be wiped. 

As soon as your girlfriend kicked the ball, you knew it was going in and as soon as it went in you were instantly up on your feet clapping and cheering for Kyra. She glanced over your direction and her smile widened when your eyes caught each other. ‘I love you,’ you mouthed while making a little heart with her hands in her direction.

You laughed softly when you saw a little sheepish grin and Kyra ducking her head a little, looking away from you. Even if she’d claim the red tinge to her cheeks was from playing, you knew that some of it was a slight blush. You knew Kyra all too well.

Kyra was definitely overwhelmed by it all, but also taking it all in. Her first goal at arsenal. A moment neither of you would ever forget. Even though you wished you were out there so badly to be able to hug her and properly tell her how proud you were, you sat back down once the atmosphere died down and the play restarted.

After the match, as soon as you could, you had your arms around Kyra, pulling her in and tightly hugging her, ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing,’ You spoke softly in her ear, keeping your arms around her.

Kyra playfully rolled her eyes even if the smile on her face kept growing more at your words, ‘It was just a goal,’ 

‘It’s your first goal at arsenal babe,’ You pulled back slightly, the both of you still in each other's embrace, ‘Definitely something to be proud of,’ Your hands rubbed the back of Kyra’s neck, moving around to cup her cheeks. Kyra smiled back at you, it melted her heart seeing the proud smile you wore when you were looking at her. Any doubts and insecurities she had over her playing the last season were all washed away when you looked at her.

‘Yeah alright,’ Kyra hid her face in your neck briefly, ‘Thank you, couldn’t have gotten here without your constant support,’ Kyra mumbled into your neck. You’ve seen all the hard work Kyra’s been doing, on and off the pitch, and you’d do your best to make sure Kyra is proud of herself too.

‘I couldn’t be more proud. Proud to always support you Ky,’ You leaned into Kyra’s embrace as she wrapped an arm around you while walking off the pitch, ‘This is gonna be your season, I can feel it,’

[hotshotsxyz]

i might be a little stupid (but it's okay, you are too)

(buddie) (1.2k words) i have nothing to say for myself idk

The way Maddie says it, it kind of sounds like she thinks it should be obvious. It’s not obvious. It’s not even true, actually, because if it’s true then Eddie has no idea what to do with it. And he can’t—Buck is the stability in his life. He’s the anchor, the foundation, the crossbeam that keeps the roof from collapsing in the wind. So it’s not true. He says as much to Maddie.

“You’re both—” Maddie cuts herself off with a frustrated noise. “I should have listened to Howie. You’re both impossible.”

Eddie shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know what you want me to say, he’s not.”

Maddie sighs. “He is. He really, really is. And you—never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She blows a stray lock of hair out of her face.

And yeah, she shouldn’t have. Not because Eddie’s upset, but because it’s not true. Buck absolutely is not in love with him. He’d know. So it’s fine.

It’s fine until it isn’t, because a day later Buck is grinning at him like he hung the moon, and it’s so obvious that Eddie has no idea how he ever missed it. And he still doesn’t know what to do with it. But Maddie was right. Buck’s in love with him.

.

“Maddie, can you stop?”  Buck asks, nearly sloshing the wine out of his glass as he gestures. “It was funny, the first couple of times, but—”

“I wasn’t joking!” Maddie interrupts him. She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Why are you like this?”

“Me!” Buck exclaims. “You’re the one insinuating things.”

Maddie blinks at him. “Buck. I’m not insinuating anything. I’m telling you. He’s in love with you.”

Buck throws his head back dramatically, knocking it into the cabinets. Ow. “Did Chimney put you up to this? Is this his idea of a prank, because—”

Maddie drops her head to the counter, burying her face in her arms. “No,” she says, muffled by the fabric of her sweater.

Buck rolls his eyes. “Sure,” he says. Eddie isn’t in love with him, obviously. He’d know. So it’s fine.

.

Buck keeps looking at him. And that’s not abnormal, necessarily, but now that Eddie’s paying attention, he’s starting to notice it happens a lot. Buck, catching his eye when he walks into the room. Buck, glancing at him before he does anything at a scene. Buck, making eye contact any time he finds something funny. He’s just—always looking.

And it’s not like Eddie isn’t looking back. He is, obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t have noticed, but it’s different. Especially right now, because Buck’s very clearly watching him over the top of his book, but every time Eddie catches him at it, he goes right back to pretending to read.

It’s infuriating and endearing in equal turns.

.

Eddie is always there, Buck’s starting to realize. He’s at his elbow on every call, in the kitchen when he’s making coffee, in the bunks when he’s trying to sleep. That last one might just be because they’re mostly stuck with the same sleep schedule on shift, but still. He’s starting to think Maddie might be right.

Which isn’t a problem, necessarily, so much as it is an idea that feels almost impossible to wrap his head around. It’s just—it’s Eddie. Buck knows Eddie better than he knows himself. It’s kind of hard to believe he missed something this huge. But—

He gets this look in his eye, sometimes, one that Buck had only ever really categorized as warmth, but that he’s now realizing is reserved exclusively for him. So, okay. Eddie might be in love with him. Maybe.

.

They’re going to have to talk about it, obviously, so Eddie drags Buck home with him after shift. Not that it’s very hard. He kind of just tilts his head toward the truck and Buck follows him.

Buck’s eyes are on him the entire drive. He’s pretty proud of the restraint he shows, waiting until the front door closes behind them to start talking.

“So—”

“I’m—”

Buck huffs an amused breath. “You first,” he says.

Right. “Maddie said something,” Eddie blurts.

“Okay?” Buck says, drawing out both syllables.

“She said that you—” Eddie swallows, mouth suddenly, inexplicably dry. “She said you’re in love with me?” It comes out as a question.

Buck’s eyebrows climb higher on his forehead than Eddie thought was possible.

“And it’s fine,” Eddie says in a rush.

“She—”

“Seriously, Buck, I’m not like,” Eddie flaps his hand in place of an actual end to his sentence.

“Eddie, you—”

“No, really Buck, it’s—"

“She said you’re in love with me!” He exclaims.

Eddie’s brain short circuits, just a little bit. He hadn’t—he hadn’t actually considered that. At all. “She—what?”

“She said you’re in love with me, and honestly Eds, I think she might be right.”

“Since… when?” Eddie manages to get out.

Buck throws his arms in the air. “I don’t know, you tell me!”

“Maddie told you I’m… and you believed her?” Eddie asks.

“Not at first, but I mean,” Buck gestures vaguely.

They’re in Eddie’s house, but there’re traces of Buck everywhere. It’s his handwriting on the grocery list in the kitchen. He’s in half of the framed photos that adorn the walls. Buck’s sweatshirt is draped over the arm of the couch, and he isn’t the one who wore it last. Huh.

“So,” Buck says, looking at him expectantly, “are you?”

“Are you?” Eddie shoots back, borderline hysterical.

Buck opens his mouth and closes it. Blinks a few times. “I… am I?”

“I mean,” Eddie says, mirroring Buck’s earlier gesture.

Buck looks around and frowns. His brow furrows, and Eddie finds himself wanting to smooth it with his thumb. “Eddie,” Buck asks faintly, “are we stupid?”

It startles a laugh out of Eddie, and once he’s started, he can’t stop.

“It’s—it’s not—not funny,” Buck protests as he fails to suppress a giggle of his own.

“No,” Eddie gasps, bracing himself against Buck’s shoulder as he doubles over in laughter.

“St-stop,” Buck honest-to-god giggles. His fingers fist in Eddie’s shirt. “We have to—have to—” Whatever he was going to say, he can’t get the rest out.

Eventually, Eddie straightens enough to look Buck in the eye, and slowly catches his breath. All at once, he’s aware of how closely together they’re standing. “Buck,” he says, soft and warm and—

He can hear it in his own voice. He is. He is in love with Buck and it’s absurd, because how could he possibly have missed that? How could Maddie have known before he did?

“Eds,” Buck says. His fingers release the now-wrinkled fabric of his shirt, but his hands stay on Eddie’s waist. There’s a sparkle in Buck’s eyes that Eddie’s seen so many times, and not once before has he ever thought to examine why he’s so drawn to it.

“I think we’re a little stupid,” Eddie breathes.

.

“Told you,” Maddie says, watching Buck as he laces his fingers with Eddie’s.

Chimney snorts. “That you did,” he says. “They would’ve figured it out eventually. Probably.”

Maddie shakes her head. “I’ve never met two people who were so stubbornly opposed to their own happiness.”

“Eh,” Chimney says, “I think they were happy. They’re just happier now.”

Maddie laughs lightly and lets her head fall to Chimney’s shoulder. “Yeah,” she says. “They are.”

[nathaslosthershit]

Unremarkable (LN4)

(Part 2 of the Blind Items series)

Summary: Blind Items returns again to ruin yet another happy couple's peace. This time, Lando Norris and his ‘unremarkable’ girlfriend.

“Lando, have you seen this?” his girlfriend asked, showing him the tweets. When they had soft launched, she got a small dose of what it would be like to be the WAG of Lando Norris. But even when they hadn’t known anything about her, some people still had been so mean. Now that they knew she had a ‘commoner’ job, they had started tearing her to shreds. ‘How could someone so rich and famous go for such a plain girl’ was what so many people had said. 

“Oscar showed it to me today. I am so sorry, honey, I was hoping that you wouldn’t have seen it. Those people are absolute asses, love.” He probably should have said something earlier but he knew how hard she would take it. While she had joked in the past about the differences in their jobs, especially the pay, he knew she felt insecure about it at times. 

“The thing is, I didn’t see it. Not at first. I only saw it when I heard one of my students talking about it in class today. Can you even imagine how humiliating that was for me? Hearing my own students who I have done nothing but be kind and understanding to, trying to get them to love learning, talk about how awful it is their favorite driver is dating someone as boring as a teacher.” She couldn’t stop the tears as she went on about the situation. He wouldn’t understand, he couldn’t. She knew Lando had his moments of insecurity but nothing like this. At the end of the day, he still had hundreds upon thousands of fans who loved him immensely. 

Even if he couldn’t fully understand, it still broke his heart seeing how much it hurt her. Sure, he hadn’t ever thought he would date a school teacher either, but that was mostly due to his previous lack of appreciation for school. But being with her has changed that. His girlfriend could always make things interesting. She loved to spout history facts on vacation and it always made him so deliriously happy to see how giddy she was to learn new things. 

Seeing her now though, so visibly upset made him realize this wasn’t something that could slide easily. His PR team might not love it but he wasn’t going to just sit there and let her feel terrible about herself.

“I’ll fix this, I promise.” He said quickly as he left. He shouldn’t have left her alone and crying, but he was fuming and decided he needed that anger to let his message out. 

landonorris

Liked by oscarpiastri and 153,137 others

landonorris I don’t know who this gossip page thinks they are but the last thing I will tolerate is someone hiding behind a screen telling the entire world that my girlfriend, who I love more than life itself, is ‘dull’ and ‘unremarkable’ because of her job. This is a woman who is smarter than 99% of the people I have ever interacted with, someone who spends so much of their time trying, and succeeding, to get kids to love learning. Even as someone who didn’t appreciate school as much as they should have, I would never have once thought school teachers were any of the negative things you have said. Luckily, here I am, happy with my amazing girlfriend who deserves the entire world, and I know I will spend the rest of my life trying to give it to her. 

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A few minutes later she came into the room, tears still staining her cheeks.

“Thank you Lando” she said as he motioned for her to sit on his lap. 

“I can say more if you want? I definitely think I could have cursed them out mor-” He was cut off with a kiss. The sheer force of it caused them to bump heads a little, which then caused them to break apart giggling. “I’m serious about what I said. I don’t know what I did to get someone as wonderful as you but I am not going to let some assholes on the internet make you upset over something so incredible. You should be proud of what you do and I will forever work to remind you of how amazing you are.”

“I love you, Lando” was all she replied.

“I love you more”

“Please can we not play this game you know I love-”

“Nope, la-la-la-la I can’t hear you over the sound of me loving you soooo much” He said as he covered his ears.

Such a dork, she thought.

[star-girl69]

Love Song

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!

Love song - Lana Del Rey

warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

i’m sure we all agree on this

but clarisse is very protective of you

even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you

i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED

she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with

like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED

she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault

she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions

major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age

the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down

obviously that did not work

but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings

when it comes to you tho she’s an open book

she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE

i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours

your relationship is partly very public

she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you

she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER

so naturally she gets very jealous

even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE

there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you

it went like this

boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine

y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..

clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—

then she started attacking him

lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)

now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity

you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”

“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”

b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently

she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl

most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy

but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO

she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist

also one more note about your relationship publically

everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes

i hate everyone but you trope save me

save me i hate everyone but you trope

THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY

clarisse: pushes percy over

you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee

clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf

you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly

clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily

like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??

so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy

privately she lets herself be a little more chill

this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah

idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands

SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS

would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY

but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands

like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you

cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle

you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest

this is what happens whenever you feel scared

like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day

TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight

wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you

also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer

she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)

or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers

she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!

also she lays on top of you if you get hurt

like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand

you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”

“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”

third option

you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you

she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart

like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel

oh lord take me now

also she loves you the way hozier loves

“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”

“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”

like she BREATHES for you

if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life

totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date

devotion is the only word that comes close

anyways

ok nicknames she calls you:

baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)

(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)

dates she takes you on:

forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you

this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE

so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together

she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water

you like have a cold

she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means

you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!

you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line

you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”

“okay ☹️☹️”

“why are you touching my feet with your feet”

she places you above everyone else

like yeah other people are ok…….

but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍

this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you

LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)

“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)

THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”

clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt

in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”

you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness

but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story

LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”

NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭

clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions

like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused

but still

she never lets anyone see her as WEAK

so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense

after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”

she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN

then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword

you’re like 😔😔💔

you’re the only one she will let clean her up

unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers

if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”

anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill

thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one

anyways bye bye 😘

—

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme

[enanansbbg]

Anhane’s relationship, and it’s complexity:

this was originally uploaded onto twt, but I wanted to reupload it here because I was very proud of this analysis, so please enjoy and feel free to add anything I may have missed or skipped over!

With that being said, here we go! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Let’s start with the basics. The pure power of their aibouness, and its connections to vivid street.

To begin, you must understand what a partner is in VBS terms. In this case, it’s ‘a person who brings out parts of you never knew existed’.

In relations to Anhane, this is based off pure raw emotions. This is shown through An’s abandonment issues and Kohane’s want to make her heart pound.

Kohane wants to recreate that feeling she felt when she first heard An singing inside of An, to ‘make her heart pound’, while An’s abandonment issues cause her to fear Kohane’s rapid growth may lead to Kohane abandoning her.

This also plays into a certain factor about Kohane and the idea of her and angst, I believe.

Many people want Kohane to have some kind of angst event, especially related to her backstory, but that would go against all her motives.

See, Kohane’s pure movies for pursuing music—for working to surpass Rad Weekend all tie back to An. It was hearing An singing at WG that made her heart pound and An asking her to be her singing partner that caused her to even consider music as an option.

From here, their relationship develops into a lot more, and it’s when the idea of partners ‘bringing out an ugly side of you’ comes to play.

You can see even in the maim story An not seeing Kohane as an equal. It only gets called out and resolved in Singing in Sync.

Singing In Sync, ep. 1 and 3

🎧: “In the unlikely event that something does go wrong, I’ll cover for you and get you back on track, okay?”

…

🎧: “I failed as her partner…I couldn’t protect her…

…

🎧: “I mean, she’s my partner…And I wanted to guide her so that she could sing without worrying…”

…

🥞: “You don’t think of Kohane as one of the team.”

An telling Kohane “I’ll protect you if you mess up” subconsciously puts the idea into Kohane’s head “I’m not good enough, so I’ll probably mess up” This is what caused the entire issue in SIS to begin with.

But it’s once An tells her “you can protect me too” that Kohane is able to subconsciously think “I have the power to make her heart pound too”

Singing in Sync, ep. 8

🎧: “If I miss a cue at the next event…”

🎧: “Could you cover for me?”

🐹: “An… Sure, I can do that!”

After this we get Awakening Beat. Kohane is able to come out of her shell and fully adapts the idea “I can make her heart pound too” and has a large boost in confidence because of it. An both brought her confidence down and back up in the spam of one rotation.

Awakening Beat, ep. 8

🎧: (“It’s like she’s not even the Kohane I know. Could this be because she’s completely resolved herself?”

🎧: (“But even with just that, she can really change this much…?”)

However….In the same event, An’s insecurities begin to bloom and in Bout for Beside You, An has to face them for the first time.

Awakening Beat, ep. 8, BFBY, ep. 4

🎧: (“I was just gonna tell her she did amazing… That I never knew she could sing that amazingly, but…”

🎧: (“What’s going on? I just can’t get the words out—”)

…

🎧: “Kohane is…going to leave me behind?”

Here, An realizes her and Kohane ‘perfect’ relationship is more complicated now. While Kohane’s adapted the idea of “I want to make her heart pound”, An opens to idea of “I wont he able to make her heart pound anymore” (they doki doki more than ddlc i swear)

At the end of the event, An ask Kohane the golden question. “If I were to leave somewhere far away, would we still sing together?”

BFBY, ep. 8

🎧: “But what would you do if I said that I’d be going somewhere far far away someday?”

🎧: “And I wanted to reach greater heights just like what Uncle Taiga did exploring the world. If I were to go to someplace even greater and far far away from here—”

Of course, Kohane affirms this. Naturally, Kohane takes a lot of pride in being An’s partner, being the only partner for her. (as said in ORS) She wants to keep singing with An forever.

BFBY, ep. 8

🐹: “Even so, I would want to keep singing with An-chan!”

🐹: “No matter where you go or what you become, I’d still want to be with you!”

🐹: “I want to properly stand beside you and sing with you!”

We’re gonna skip ahead a bit and jump up to KIUAN, where we get our lovely “She looks like Nagi-san” line, the line that killed every Anhane shipper in the tristate area.

But what makes this line so special? Well, for that let’s discuss what made Nagi’s death (and the lie surrounding it) so impactful.

Nagi was someone An looked up to highly. So, when she was suddenly told that Nagi moved, not even saying goodbye, to pursue her music career, it left a mark on An. Added to the fact that Nagi wasn’t returning An’s messages or calls, just completely disappeared.

Now, looking to Bout for Beside you and KIUAN, you can see the importance of these lines. An fears that Kohane will improve so much that she leaves without a word, never talks go her again and just moves on. It’s why she looks so distressed.

VOT ep. 8, BFBY, ep. 8, KIUAN ep. 7

🎧: “…Aww. I wonder what Nagi-san is doing over in America? I wish she’d give us a call at least.”

🎧: “Ah! Maybe I’ll send her a text then! I wonder if she’ll be surprised~?”

…

🎧: “But what would you do if I said that I’d be going somewhere far far away someday?”

…

🎧: “…She looks just like Nagi-san…”

And, it’s why she can’t even believe Kohane when she says just how important An is to her, how much she loves her and wants to sing with her because Nagi said the same thing and now Nagi is gone.

This manages to reach a resolve in WTWG, where An ‘fights’ Kohane, takes all those raw emotions out in a healthy way, through her song.

An’s card in WTWG is more than just ‘An takes her anger out on Kohane’, because in truth that’s not entirely what she’s doing. Instead, it’s An’s raw emotions taking form.

An wants Kohane to grow, she wants Kohane to thrive fully, but that fear of abandonment—Fear that Kohane will leave and never speak to her again makes her want to hold her close and never let her go anywhere.

So what about Kohane?

Well, starting with thr WTWG card/story, Kohane wants to be An’s best partner. As she states, ‘to make An’s heart pound’.

So, to be vulnerable here is to accept all of An’s raw emotions. Let her lean on her and feel everything because to Kohane, that makes her a worthy partner.

She says over and over throughout the fight that An is amazing, that she wants to be like her, how much it makes her heart pound. Really, it reminds me of Kohane’s colorfes story.

WTWG, ep. 7

🐹: (“An-chan…really is amazing.”)

🐹: (“…Whenever I hear An-chan sing, it really makes my heart pound like nothing else. It makes me wish I could sing like her.”)

In it, Kohane goes to Vivid Street, but everyone thinks she’s An. This happens after she thinks about what it would be like to be An, but only going through this dream does she realize that she doesn’t want to be An, she wants to be her. She wants to be An’s partner.

Colorfes Kohane ep. 1 and 2

Record Store Onee-san: “You caught me off guard, using polite like that, An-chan!”

🐹: (“Did she just say An-chan…?”)

…

🐹: (“—An-chan’s so cool and strong…and there’s times I wish I could be like her…”)

🐹: (“I have to be me! Because—”)

🎧: “—Y’know, I was thinking, your singing is always so amazing, Kohane.”

🎧: “Whenever I hear your singing, it makes my heart race. The tension rises, and it makes me feel like I have to start singing right now!”

🐹: (“Because I’m An-chan’s partner—!”)

And to be An’s partner, is to drag all those raw, vertical emotions out of An, just like she does in WTWG.

In conclusion, Anhane explosion their relationship is so complex and strong and I love it

[mentally-gone002]

secret escape

part 3! here is part 1 and part 2

summary: reader stays over at steve’s house… that’s it…

warnings: some 18+ activities😏, p in v (unprotected… PLS WRAP B4 YOU TAP), some swearing

a/n: OKAY SOOOOO FIRST TIME EVER WRITING SMUTTTT!!!!! (pls lmk if it sucks ass lmaoooo😭) but once again like in part 2, my wifey poo helped me through this entire fic and i’m so proud of her for all of this so once again a big thank you to her for making this possible!!!!

———————————————————————

“can you cover for me tonight?” dustin burst into his sisters room without a knock. she lurched forwards in surprise, griping the phone in her hand tightly. 

“can i call you back?” she asked who she was calling before dropping the phone down onto the receiver. “don’t you know how to knock?” she asked in annoyance. 

he rolled his eyes. “can you or not?” his question made her eyebrows furrow in confusion. he sighed and reminded her. “i need you to cover for me.” 

she shook her head. “no, because i’m already going somewhere tonight.” dustin groaned in disbelief. “what would you need me to cover for you for anyway? it’s not like you have a girlfriend.” she wondered. 

dustin looked away as he bit his tongue at the interrogation. “my friends want to go see dune, but ms. buyers won’t let will go, so we’re sneaking out to see it.” he explained quickly, checking over his shoulder a few times to make sure their mom wouldn’t overhear. 

his sister scoffed and rolled her eyes. “sounds fun, but again, i can’t because i’m going out.” 

“with who?” he inquired with arms crossed over his chest. 

she looked away with an accompanied shrug. “tiffany, from school.” her reply was uttered without any eye contact which meant she was lying. “i’m staying at her house because i need girl time.” 

dustin nodded with a blank stare. he hummed before saying, “sure, tiffany.” he didn’t buy any of what she said. “does tiffany know she’ll be covering for you? because i know you’re going see steve.” 

she stared at him with wide eyes. “am not! also why can’t you just go see dune tomorrow night?” 

“you so are going to see him!” dustin countered, walking closer to try and boost his chances of making her cave. he knew she was easily intimidated, he just didn’t know if he could intimidate her. “and we can’t go see dune tomorrow night because tonight’s the last night it’s playing.” 

she rolled her eyes in exhaustion. “dustin… i’m sorry but i can’t cover for you.” she murmured while her hands ran over her face as an attempt on wiping away her annoyance. 

her brother kept standing there for a few seconds, his mind was racing for a new angle on this. “i’ll tell mom you were making out with steve in his car when you went to the arcade with me last week!” 

her eyes snapped open. “no you won’t!” she stood up, feeling herself get angry, and nervous. he wouldn’t tell their mom, would he? “that’s blackmail.” she told him. 

he nodded. “i’m aware. and i will tell her if you don’t do this for me.” he said. 

“tell me what?” their mom stepped into the doorway of her bedroom and looked between both her kids, making their bickering come to an abrupt ending followed by tense and awkward silence. she raised her eyebrows as if to say “well?” 

“nothing!” dustin blurted at the same time his sister said, “i’m dating steve harrington!” 

their mom looked shocked from their mingled voices. 

she looked at her daughter first. “did you say you’re dating steve harrington?” she asked. her daughter nodded with fleeting eye contact. she swallowed the lump in her throat and her mom turned to dustin. “can you give us a minute?” 

he nodded and quickly left the room but didn’t go far. he stopped after rounding the corner outside his sisters room and stood against the wall, listening. 

when her mom looked at her she just word vomited. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you when we first got together! i just remember telling you about how he wasn’t the best guy last year and the year before that, and i just didn’t want you to worry. but he’s changed, mom, he really has.” she felt like crying but resisted, blinking hard to suppress tears that dared to fall. “he’s a really amazing guy.” 

her mom walked to take a seat beside her daughter. “i don’t doubt that, hun.” she comforted, a hand on her daughters back. “i have to hear dustin talk about how great he is at least twice a week.” 

she laughed and looked at her mom. “he does talk about him a lot.” her eyes went back to the floor. “are you okay with me being with him?” 

her mom nodded. “of course i am, as long as you’re being safe and not doing anything crazy with him.” 

“i’m safe and i’m not being crazy, i promise.” she told her mom sincerely, although she wasn’t sure she could keep her promise since her friends and even her own safety was threatened only two months before. 

her mom stood up with a smile and walked to the door. dustin ran down the hall when he heard her approaching his position. “you’re still going to tiffany’s house tonight, right?” she wondered. 

her daughter nodded. “yeah. can i take your car since you’re off work tomorrow?” she asked, hoping she’d say yes. 

“yeah, i don’t see why not. just don’t crash.” she agreed. 

“okay i won’t.” she nodded, standing up to grab the bag she had packed for herself. she left her bedroom and put on her shoes and found the car keys. “i’ll be back tomorrow… afternoon.” she said before walking out the door and to the car.

she wasn’t going to tiffany’s house. of course dustin had known that but he didn’t even say anything as he watched her leave the house. 

she zoned out as she drove, using muscle memory to get to steve’s house. when she parked her heart started beating quickly at the thought of being completely alone for an entire night with her boyfriend. she bit her bottom lip before she left the safety of her car to walk to his front door and knock, waiting for the door to open. she rocked on her heels in anticipation. 

when steve heard a knock on the door he immediately went to open it, letting his eyes fall over her in an instant. he memorized her for the millionth time with a soft grin on his mouth. “hey.” he leaned against the door, walking it open wider so she could go inside. 

it was the first time she’s ever been inside his house so her eyes were wandering over this and that; family photos hanging on the white walls, fancy furniture and the shiny hardwood floors that stretched down the hall.

“wow.” she muttered, drawing an airy laugh from his mouth. “your house is really nice.” she looked at him with a smile. 

he closed the door and walked to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “you think so?” he wondered. he was so close to her that his soft lips ghosted her temple when he spoke. she nodded as goosebumps rose on her skin and her heartbeat began to speed up due to how close he was to her, and how his soft breath felt against her skin and because of the way his hand would gently squeeze at her waist subconsciously. 

her body turned slowly to face his, so close that if she inhaled enough air both of their chests would touch. she moved her hands, sliding them up his arms until they both stopped on his shoulders, giving her some leverage as she stood on tiptoes to press her lips to his. 

both of steve’s hands found purchase on her waist, his fingers occasionally digging into her skin gently due to how their lips danced together, slipping over each other with mixed saliva. he fought off the ever impending urge to sweep her off her feet and take her to his room, being mindful of how she might not want to even if she showed she did sometimes with the way she squeezed the thighs together or got so close he didn’t even know where she started and where he ended.

she pulled back for a brief second, just to gasp for air that her aching lungs had been screaming for. he was too addicting to pull away from sometimes. she noticed how swollen and kiss bitten his reddening lips were when she fluttered her eyes open. he kept his eyes closed, chest heaving and his hands slid down to her hips and squeezed at her skin once they stopped to settle. she felt her breath hitch and decided to capture his lips again, distracting herself from his touch with even more of him. 

he smiled into her mouth, deciding to slowly swipe his tongue over her bottom lip. he was almost begging to taste her with his heart racing and his mind wandering to places it shouldn’t. 

how does it feel to have all of her?

the thoughts were chased away when she granted him access past her soft lips. 

she gasped slightly when she felt his tongue against her, sliding together and twisting as they kept kissing. she couldn’t help but let a soft moan slip into the air. 

he pulled away, allowing her to breathe. she stared up at his eyes with an almost pleading expression. he smiled gently, moving one hand to caress her face. “c’mon.” he nodded his head to the side towards the carpeted stairs that took them upstairs when he started to lead her up to the second story. her hand squeezed his while she looked around at more pictures on the walls until he pulled her into a bedroom at the end of the hallway. his thumb twisted the lock even though his parents weren’t home. once the lock clicked he strayed away from her side, walking quickly to his dresser and placing a cassette tape into a radio to make music start playing softly. she grinned when he came back to her, his hands back to make her feel whole. he used one hand to bring her lips back to his while the other slowly moved under her shirt. she sighed into the feeling of his warm hand trailing over her bare skin and he smiled, deepening the kiss to let their tongues dance like they were minutes ago. 

she glided her hands up his chest over his shirt to fist the fabric of the collar with a tight grip. she whimpered when he toyed with the bottom of her bra. she felt impatient and he could feel it emanating off of her, so he took advantage of that feeling and walked them both blindly to his mattress. 

“is this okay?” steve whispered, pulling away to which she chased his lips desperately. he smiled at her while sliding a hand over her thigh. her breath was shaking because she was either nervous or excited. he didn’t know which and found her eyes with his. “hey, are you okay?” the question was gentle. 

she nodded, somehow still breathless. “yeah, i’m okay.” she nodded with a smile. she looked like she was drunk just because of his mouth. “i- i want to…” she trailed off meekly with shy eyes. 

steve felt his pants tighten when she said that. he slid his hand further up her thigh and squeezed, loving how her clothed skin felt in his palm. “okay.” he whispered, finding her lips again. 

she sighed into his mouth and let her mind go blank. her hands moved on their own to tangle and tug at his hair and ruin its style into a beautiful mess. 

steve slowly moved his hands to have them grip the bottom of her shirt prior to lifting it up and over her head, which they have to separate for. he tossed the item of clothing aside somewhere far away from them to worry about later. his eyes were glued to her uncovered skin and how it looked in his dim bedroom. “you’re beautiful.” he breathed. 

she rolled her eyes and he started to remove his own shirt, so that she wasn’t the only one lacking a clothing item. when it was off of him she tossed it away like he had with hers. she stared at his chest. his skin was littered with tiny constellations of freckles that she found so pretty on him. she reached out to touch his warm chest as he began moving closer to her with the slow motion of laying her on her back, loving how she looked like an angel against his sheets. 

she kept her eyes on his chest and her hand on his skin snaked around his back. 

steve leaned down, hands holding him up on either side of her head as he attached his lips to her neck to leave slow, open mouthed kisses across her hot skin. the action drew a sudden moan from her unoccupied lips. he smiled because he hasn’t even gotten started. steve pressed his tongue to her skin before closing his lips around a patch of it, pulling it into his mouth to turn it a deep shade of purple and red. 

the action had her back arch away from the mattress slightly with stuttering breaths and a series of whimpers. she tried to press her thighs together to gain some friction where she found the familiar feeling of her core dampening but her legs were stopped by steve’s knee that was between them without her even knowing. he grinned at the way she sighed due to the lack of friction and moved his knee to press against her cunt. she whimpered at the feeling of something finally being between her legs. her hips jutted upwards against his thigh slightly, creating friction. 

he pulled his mouth away from her skin and admired the dark bruise he’d left behind. one of his hands left the spot it occupied beside her head to toy with the trap of her bra. “can i take this off?” he hooked his fingers underneath the strap on her shoulder and then let it snap back onto her skin, making her flinch with a nod. “sit up for me, baby.” steve gently whispered so that he could snake his hand behind her and quickly unclip the garment with one hand. 

it loosened around her shoulders so she turned her shoulders inwards to allow the straps to slip down her arms and have it completely fall away from her. she suddenly felt very exposed as steve stole the item away to toss it away, his eyes glued to her chest with lust in his eyes. she took his face in her hands so that she could connect their lips again, her tongue quickly slipping into his mouth. she pulled him down as she laid back onto her back as steve’s hands wandered, over her waist and then slowly taking a handful of her chest, squeezing her tit in a way that had her gasping in surprise. she wasn’t expecting it to feel that good. 

he chuckled, mouth gently leaving hers to connect back on her neck. he left hot kisses on her skin and sucked the occasional bruise into her skin just to evoke those pretty sounds from her that he was starting to become addicted to hearing. he kissed lower, to her chest, giving her tits some attention because that was also so pretty to him. he was falling for every single part of her without a second thought. 

her head lifted away from the pillow to stare at steve as he ever so slowly kissed lower and lower, nearing the top hem of her jeans. she tried to breathe but the air got stuck when he ultimately settled between her legs. 

“breathe, baby.” he rubbed her thigh with a hand circling around it. she inhaled deeply and exhaled to make him smile and place a kiss just below her navel. “good girl.” he whispered. steve slowly moved his fingers against her jeans, unbuttoning and sliding them down and off her legs. she was now only in her underwear, a sight that he wanted tattooed on the inside of his eyelids forever while he settled back between her thighs. his lips pressed into the insides of both. his hips slowly ground into the mattress as he was becoming more conscious of the strain in his jeans by the minute. he groaned because they felt like a cage to him and if he were still like how he was a year ago they wouldn’t be on, but she’s different and he was doing this for her, not himself. 

she reached down to grab his shoulders in a silent way of telling him to come back up to kiss her. and who was he to deny her of what she wanted? he slowly crawled his way back up to her lips, kissing up her tummy and making her breath shake. she felt deprived of his lips until they were back on hers, a messy thing that made them both moan and sigh into each other. 

“i want you…” she sighed with half lidded eyes and a kiss bitten smile. she was so beautiful with the way her curly hair was fanned out on his pillow and how her body was hot to the touch. she’d tell him it was all his work if he were to ask her why. 

he nodded for a second with one of his hands going between their warm bodies to begin with stripping away the last of his layers. relief washed over his body the moment his jeans slid off of his dick. he shuddered at the thought of being inside her. steve put a hand over her hip, smoothing his fingers over her soft skin as his thumb hooked under the elastic of her underwear. “is it okay if i take these off?” the way he whispered such a simple question made her body resonate with need. she nodded as her eyes stayed on his face. he grinned at the way her hands were repeatedly fisting and then releasing the sheets as a way to distract herself. that simple thing she was doing made him a little needier. his fingers slowly dragged her underwear away and down her legs, teasing her by the speed of it. he made her squirm in anticipation. “you’re so needy, baby.” he kissed her slowly to take her mind away from how his hand slid up the top of her thigh and that both of his legs were between hers, nudging her thighs wider for him. 

he focuses his eyes back to her face, seeing how she breathed deeply and had her eyes closed. “hey, you sure you wanna do this? we can stop if you need to.” his voice was gently laced with concern for her that she thought she could cry because of the sound. 

she nodded her head still. “i’m sure.” he nodded back, both hands placed on either side of her head, the insides of his wrists brushing the tops of her bare shoulders. she lifted her hands to thread her fingers through his soft hair and pull his lips down onto hers. 

he stayed hovering over her with his lips glued to hers before he took one hand between them again to stroke his length and line it up with her entrance. “are you ready?” he asked ghosting his lips over hers as she panted, trying to catch her breath before he steals it away again. she nodded with her bottom lip held between her teeth. 

he kissed the corner of her mouth as he pushed into her and his head dropped into the curve of her shoulder. he couldn’t help but moan into her soft skin at the feeling of her cunt squeezing around him. “fuck… you feel so good.” he groaned, leaving a kiss beneath her ear. 

she gasped when she felt him finally go inside of her. her throat bubbled with airy moans that filled the room as he made slow thrusts in and out of her. she’d never felt like this in her life; head leaning back into soft pillows with her eyes screwed shut with a strange feeling tightening inside her stomach, like a coil. “steve… feels so good.” she slurred and her arms went around his shoulders so that her fingernails could dig into the soft skin of his back. 

he kept his face buried in the curve of her neck, kissing and sucking at her skin as a way of drawing more sounds from her pretty mouth. “y’like this, baby? do i make you feel good?” he asked through a moan, slowly rolling his hips into hers repeatedly. she only nodded with a sigh. he grinned through a groan, knowing he made her feel good by her writhing body beneath his and the beautiful sounds she was making. they would mix with his own sounds of pleasure and bounce off of the walls. 

she arched her back when the tightening cord in her stomach began to become almost too taught to bare. “i’m…” she moaned loudly. “i’m gonna come.” her voice was pitched up in pleasure. her nails were digging into his skin harder than they were before. 

steve sped up his thrusts, knowing he was close behind her. “come for me.” he panted. “i’ve got you, honey.” he assured with a voice so sweet it made her cry out. 

the cord in her stomach snapped, making her fall over the edge, coming around him with a scream. 

steve followed right behind her, hips stuttering as he quickly pulled out with a pained groan to be loosing the amazing feeling of her walls around him. he was loud when he came, shooting ropes of it over her stomach with soft gasps for breath as he searched for her lips. he kissed her once before moving to lay beside her on his stomach. steve had his eyes on her as she breathed heavily, laying on her back motionless. “you okay?” he whispered, propping himself up on an elbow. 

her head turned towards him so their eyes could meet. she nodded. “yeah. that was… amazing.” she sighed in ecstasy, causing a smile to form on his lips. 

———————————————————————

“you okay to drive yourself home?” steve asked in the front doorway, standing with his hands on her hips. she nodded with a lovesick smile. he leaned down to kiss her. when he was pulling away his eyes caught how her shirt wasn’t covering one of the many hickeys he’d left for her. he moved the fabric over it. “i’ll see you later, yeah?” 

she nodded. “yeah, of course.” her lips met his for a final time before she turned on her heels to walk away from the door. 

steve lingered in the doorway, biting his lip. “baby?” he called after her when she was almost to her car. she looked at him with an innocent smile. “i… i love you.” he told her with his heart beating in his ears. he was nervous as she stood still for a second. 

her heart was beating too fast for her to handle so she stood still and waiting for it to calm down before her legs carried her towards him and into his arms. “i love you.” she whispered with her ear to his chest and her arms around his waist. 

he kissed the top of her head with the most adoring grin across his mouth. 

they were in love. 

[thewritingrowlet]

The Past Never Passes, ft. fromis_9 Jang Gyuri

tags: creampie, rekindled love

word count: 11k+

author's note: this fic was inspired by an ask from an anon. Another thing to mention is that I put another female character here for the plot, and the idea is to let the readers use their imaginations and put any likenesses they want onto this character.

p.s. I know Gyuri is no longer part of fromis_9 but for masterlist-keeping purposes, I wrote it anyway.

-

High school: the most memorable part of education for most people, including yourself. Sure, it’s not all smiles and giggles; you’ve had your fair share of struggles and hardships in the last 3 years. That being said, you still have a lot of things to be thankful for, such as your sweetheart, Gyuri, who you have known since you both were kids living next to each other. You’ve been very lucky to have her by your side through everything.

You see Gyuri talking to a bunch of mutual friends, celebrating each other’s graduation. You see her eyes light up and her lips curling in a smile when she sees you walking up to her. Gyuri excuses herself and approaches you for a hug. “Congratulations on being the best graduate, babe”, she says, “I’m so proud of you”. You mindlessly put your palms on her waist, “thank you, baby. Congratulations to you as well”. The headmaster, at one point in the ceremony, announced the top 3 graduates who have had the best grades, and you “beat” Gyuri for the first place just by some odd decimals.

“We have things to talk about, babe, but let’s enjoy the moment for now”, Gyuri says as she places a hand on your chest. You’re not sure what she wants to talk about, but considering that she said that without a smile, you’re nervous. “Sure, baby; we’ll go to the river tonight, okay?”, you say. Gyuri smiles slightly at you and leaves, so you take it as a sign of her wanting to keep the conversation for later.

-

Gyuri told you to go home without her because she wanted to talk to her friends more. She might not be the biggest social butterfly out there, but she keeps those she deems important within arm’s length. You agreed to her suggestion, so here you are, walking alone through the neighborhood to get home. For some odd reason, you start… missing her. You try asking yourself where this feeling is coming from, but you end up with none instead. Amid cluelessness, you eventually admit that only Gyuri can offer such closure—Gyuri would tell you that she’s here for you and will continue to.

No one is at home when you enter since your parents are on a business trip together. You head straight to your room and change into something comfortable. You hang your clothes tidily and look at it one last time. You smile and frown as you recall every single memory of high school: the first time you got perfect score on a test, the moment you nervously confessed your love to Gyuri, and the day where you sat alone on the riverbank crying because a teacher had been very mean to you—all those memories were gathered when wearing this uniform, the silent witness to every high and low of high school life.

You were lying in bed half asleep when your phone vibrated. You pick up the call from your dad. “Hi, dad”, you greet him, “I got home like 10 minutes ago and I’m now in bed”. “Hi, dear”, he greets you in return, “you’re on speaker and your mom is here with me”. Your dad apologizes for not coming to your graduation ceremony and asks how it went. “It was alright; talked to a bunch of teachers and friends and they congratulated me for being the best graduate”, you tell him, “I went home without Gyuri, though”. “Oh, that’s unfortunate; I wanted to say hi”, your dad says. You tell him that you’ll be seeing her later at the river, “she said she wanted to talk about something—pray for me, please; I have a bad feeling about this”. “You’ll be just fine; I’m sure Gyuri means well”, he says.

Your dad finally hung up the phone after talking about different subjects, such as offering you an internship at your parents’ company and potentially work for them after college. You asked if it’d be okay, considering the family ties, and he told you that it’d be indeed okay, and that the bigger picture is for you to climb up the hierarchy and eventually take over. “This is what they mean when they say privilege, isn’t it?”, you asked your dad earlier, earning collective laughter from him and your mom.

-

You hear the doorbell ring, so you rush to the door to answer it. “Hey, babe”, Gyuri says when you open the door, “were you asleep?”. You invite her in and come in for a quick kiss. “I just had a call with my parents. They said hi, by the way”, you tell her. “Do your parents like me?”, Gyuri asks, seemingly out of nowhere. You blink a few times in confusion, “I mean, our families have been close since we were kids, so I’d like to think that they do like you”. Gyuri nods gently, “good to know”.

You wait until the sun isn’t right above your head before going out with Gyuri. You offer her to get some sandwiches and eat them at the river’s park. Gyuri agrees to your idea, so you walk with her to a nearby shop for some spicy tuna mayo and egg salad sandwiches. She is oddly quiet during the walk, presumably floating about in the middle of her ocean of thoughts, but you don’t prod her as Gyuri probably has her reasons.

You and Gyuri take a seat under a tree on the riverbank. “This is for you”, you grab an egg salad sandwich from the bag and hand it to her. Gyuri holds her sandwich with both hands, but instead of opening the wrap, she starts sobbing. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”, you ask, concerned about her sudden waterfall of tears. “I’m breaking up with you”, she says, her words short but painful, “I’m so sorry”. You can feel your heart shatter into a million pieces, the explosion sending shockwaves throughout your body. “Can-can I ask why?”, you struggle to speak, “did-did I do something wrong? I swear I never cheated on you”. Gyuri shakes her head, “n-no, you didn’t do anything wrong; you’ve been a very good boyfriend”. As you’re about to open your mouth, Gyuri cuts you off, “I-I’m going to start training to be an idol”. “There it is”, your brain says, “idols can’t date, so she has to break up with you”.

The realization crushes you, and you can’t help but cry along. “I-I’m going to move to Seoul next week, and-and I want to start getting ready for that”, Gyuri says. You shut your eyes tightly, “and that-that includes ending us, doesn’t it? Y-you want to start burning bridges with people you know”. Gyuri turns to you and holds your hands, “please, babe, don’t say it like that. I-I just want something for myself—we-we weren’t supposed to end like this, I swear”. Gyuri jumps to hug you, endlessly apologizing as her hands are wrapped around your body. “I wish you good luck, Gyuri-yah”, you say as you break the hug. You want to say that you’ll be waiting for her to return, but that will probably never happen—you guess that she’ll forget you after spending a week in Seoul. Gyuri covers her face as tears keep flowing out of her eyes, “w-why does it have to end like this? I-I swear we were happy”. You remove her hands from her face and hold them with yours. “I guess that sometimes good things fall apart, sweetheart”, you say to her, your voice trembling from held back emotions, “promise me that you’ll do your best to chase your dream, okay?”.

-

It is when you lie flat in bed that tears start flowing out of your eyes again. Your brain isn’t being helpful, as it makes you recall every moment of your relationship. You cry and cry and cry until the dam in your eyes runs dry. “Good luck, my love; I’m rooting for you”, you say weakly as you wipe the tears on your cheeks. You roll onto your stomach and plant your face into a pillow, trying your hardest to calm yourself down and come to acceptance of the fact that Gyuri is no longer by your side.

After coming to terms with a broken heart, you decide to tell your parents about this. Your dad doesn’t pick up the call, but your mom does. “Hi, sweetie”, she greets you, “are you okay?”. She probably can tell by your weak and trembling voice that you are indeed not okay. “G-Gyuri broke up with me”, you summarize, “she-she wants to become an idol and we know that idols can’t date”. You hear your mom sigh, “so, what did you say to her?”. You hold back a sniffle before answering, “I-I told her that I wish her good luck”. You can picture your mom nod in approval, “not to be insensitive, dear, but everything will be fine; if Gyuri is truly meant for you, she’ll come back to you, no matter the distance between the two of you”. You accept your mom’s comfort and assurance and thank her for it, “tell papa about this as well, mama; I think he’d want to know too”.

-

You sit at a round table with 4 of your friends, and since you just met them this Monday, you’re still trying to remember their names: the guy with the glasses in front of you is Heo Gutaek, and to his right, between you and him, are the twin sisters Song Yuha and Song Taeha—obviously you remember Choi Jeonghan; he was the first friend you made in university.

Jeonghan, a classmate in Introduction to Accounting class, starts the conversation. “Hey, guys, there’s a new girl group survival show on BSK; you should check it out”, he says. He informs you further that the show premieres today and airs every Thursday at 6pm—it’s called Idol Academy or something. “Yeah, sure”, you say, “are you guys into music, by the way?”. “Yeah, I like boy groups more, though”, Taeha says—wait, that’s Taeha, right? Not sure, actually.

“Girls, I’m so sorry, but which one of you is who?”, you say to the twins, hoping that they won’t be offended by your question. It’s understandable that you can’t tell which one is who, since they go everywhere and do everything together—look, they’re even giggling at the same time! You’re starting to think that their brains are wirelessly connected or something. One of the sisters ties her hair in a bun and shows you a very small birthmark on the neck. “I’m Yuha”, she says as she points at it, “Taeha doesn’t have this”. You sigh, “well, I’m not going to move your hair and look for your birthmark every time I’m talking to you, am I?”. “I mean, I don’t mind being touched by you”, Yuha says softly with a wink. Your eyes widen as your cheeks turn red; there’s no way Yuha is teasing you like that after only having known you for a few days.

The cafeteria worker comes to your aid and helps you get out of the predicament. He puts down two trays full of food and drinks on your table. You let everyone pick up their stuff from the trays before taking your turn. You look to your left and see that the Song sisters have the exact same things: tonkatsu and sparkling water. “Do you always eat the same thing?”, you ask Yuha, who is the closest to you. Since Yuha is busy munching a piece of tonkatsu, Taeha answers on her behalf. “Yuha knows her way around food, so I usually just get whatever she gets”, she says.

You spent about half an hour eating and talking to your friends, and at one point, you bragged about getting the best graduate award from your high school. Yuha kept looking at you with a smile, and you were starting to think that you’ll be very close to her as time goes by. Can’t lie, though, the twins are very attractive, and their eye smile reminds you of… Gyuri. You let out a sigh, “can’t believe I’m comparing these girls to her”.

You offer your friends a ride to their apartments, and you find out that Jeonghan and Gutaek’s buildings are next to each other. “I assume you two live together”, you say to the Song twins. “Same building, different floors”, Taeha says, “I love Yuha, but I’d like to have some privacy”. Jeonghan sits in the front passenger seat while the others sit in the middle row. “You’ll have to tell me where to go; I’m new to this city”, you say to Jeonghan, and he nods in agreement.

Jeonghan types in his address on the navigation app and puts it on max volume. “In one hundred meters, turn left”, the app says in its catchy voice. In the middle seat, Taeha plays a song and sings along with Yuha, while Gutaek opts to bop his head along. “Wow, you guys are great at this”, you praise them, unfamiliar with what they excel at. Your praise makes the twin feel excited, and you can tell that they’re singing more seriously after hearing it.

One song finishes after another, and Taeha, before the next song starts, tells the crew that this is her and Yuha’s favorite song. “Let’s hear you two sing, Taeha-yah”, you encourage her. You see in your rear-view mirror that they’re waiting until the opening melody to end so that they can start singing.

한번 쯤 그려왔던 그 날이 올까 (Will the day I once wished for come?)

소중히 바래왔던 내 맘 넌 알까 (Will you know of my heart that was preciously hoping for it?)

오 빛나는 땀방울도 (Oh, even the glistening sweat drops)

언젠가 만날 널 위해 흘려왔어 (Were dropped to be able to meet you one day)

You bop your head along, enjoying the twins’ singing. It’s a shame that you don’t know the lyrics, because otherwise you’d be able to sing along—your voice might not be as good as theirs, but you enjoy singing along, nonetheless. You glance at Jeonghan, who has a smile on his face, “you’re enjoying this too, aren’t you?”. Jeonghan chuckles, “I mean, listen to them, man: they sound so good—I wonder if they’ll join the campus band”. “That is the plan”, Yuha says, “imagine if the band had twin vocalists; that’d be awesome”.

-

You were so busy enjoying the moment that you almost missed a turn. Thankfully, Jeonghan was paying attention to the road and reminded you. You scratch the back of your head in embarrassment, “sorry about that, man”. You stop on the side of the road in front of a building that Jeonghan pointed at. You roll down your window as Jeonghan and Gutaek walk towards the car after getting off. You give each of them a fist bump, “see you guys tomorrow”.

Yuha moves to the front passenger seat that Jeonghan has left vacant. She winks at you when you look at her, and you can’t help but blush again—thankfully, Taeha was busy looking at her phone and didn’t see your red cheeks, so you’re saved from double embarrassment. You shake your head rapidly and start driving again—towards the twins’ building this time.

“When is your birthday, by the way?”, Yuha asks, “I’m guessing you were born in the fourth quarter of the year”. You nod, “yeah, December 1st. What about you guys?”. “December 16th”, says Yuha, “I was born a few minutes before Taeha, but we’ve agreed to pay no mind to that—we’re twins, what’s the point of knowing who’s older than who”.

You stop on the side of the road in front of their building. Taeha jumps out of the car and enters the building right away after saying her goodbye while Yuha stays in the car. “Can I ask you to come up with me?”, she asks, and her voice sounds oddly sexy to you right now. “Sure, baby”, you blindside her with a pet name, and now it’s Yuha’s turn to blush. “P-park your car i-inside; I-I believe we-we’ll take a while”, Yuha struggles to speak thanks to you.

You get out of the car after parking it in a vacant spot, followed by the still blushing Yuha. You show her an open palm, and Yuha shyly holds your hand. She looks down to hide her crazy blush, “f-follow me, plea-please”. As you’re walking with her (presumably towards her unit), you whisper in her ear, “are you actually falling for me, Yuha-yah, or am I ahead of myself?”. Yuha dares not look at or answer you, opting to keep walking forward until you arrive at her door. “U-um-um”, Yuha stutters, “I-I think I’m falling for you”. “That’s cute, Yuha-yah”, you lean forward towards her, “I like you too”.

Yuha turns her back away from you and quickly unlocks her door. You follow her inside after taking off your shoes, “nice place, Yuha-yah”. Yuha musters up her courage and stands in front of you. “I-I like you, but-but I’m not ready to-to have sex”, she says. You show her a gentle smile, “that’s totally fine, Yuha-yah; we don’t have to have sex if you don’t feel like it—I promise I won’t manipulate you into having sex with me”.

Yuha invites you to sit on the sofa, and you unquestionably accept her invitation. You look at the clock above the TV and see that it’s almost 5 pm. “The show premieres tonight, right?”, you say, earning a nod from Yuha, “I’ll order some pizza for us”. Yuha twiddles her fingers in timidness, “c-can I call you oppa? I-I’ve always wanted to date an older guy”. You laugh, “I’m only two weeks older than you, Yuha-yah—but sure, if you want to, you can”. Yuha grins in satisfaction, “thank you, oppa”.

-

You tape your eyes onto the TV while Yuha picks up the pizza at her front door. For some reason, you’re feeling nervous about this. Yuha puts the pizza on the table and sits next to you, “you seem nervous”. “I am nervous”, you admit, “something is making me nervous, and I don’t know what or why”. You pick up a slice as the show starts and take a bite. You see a very well-known celebrity entering a classroom set and he introduces himself as “the homeroom teacher”. “That’s new”, Yuha comments as she chews, “I want to see the contestants so I can pick a favorite”. True enough, contestants start getting introduced to the viewers after the host has had his moment. Yuha glares at you when you call a contestant named Lee Saerom cute—she’s of legal age like you, just so we’re clear. “Seriously? I’m literally next to you and you said that?”, Yuha rolls her eyes in annoyance. You slap your mouth a few times and apologize for speaking so carelessly.

You pick up another slice as more and more contestants get revealed. Your heart stops for a moment when you see a particular contestant. “Wait, that’s—“, the shock makes you unable to finish your thoughts. “Hello, my name is Jang Gyuri”, the contestant says. You can’t believe your eyes and ears; there’s no way you’re seeing Gyuri on TV. You rub your eyes in disbelief, thinking that your brain is playing tricks on you. Yuha notices your odd behavior and asks you about it, “you know that girl, oppa?”. You blink rapidly to focus on Yuha’s question, “y-yes. I-I went to school with her”. You don’t want to reveal to Yuha that you used to date Gyuri in high school just yet since it’d most likely ruin the vibes.

-

 “Oppa”, Yuha says, snapping you out of your trance, “the show is done”. You look around the room, “o-oh, yeah, sure”. Yuha holds your chin and turns your face towards her. “What’s gotten into you, oppa?”, she asks, “you’ve been silent since that girl came out”. If you’re going to go further with Yuha, you’ll need to start being honest with her, and you think that this is a good opportunity for that. “Jang Gyuri was my girlfriend in high school. She broke up with me after the graduation ceremony to pursue a career as an idol”, you briefly explain to Yuha. She stays silent for a moment, thus making you think that you’ve ruined her mood. To your surprise, however, Yuha doesn’t act like her mood has been disrupted. “I did not expect you to say that, but I’m glad you’re honest with me, oppa”, she says with a smile, “I’ll be rooting for Jang Gyuri on your behalf”.

You’re pleasantly surprised by Yuha’s attitude on this, so you “reward” her with a hug. “You’re such a positive person, Yuha-yah”, you say to her, “I love you so much”. Yuha’s eyes widen, and her cheeks are painted red again. “O-oh, that’s so sudden”, she stutters, “I-I love you too, o-oppa”. You break the hug so you can storm her face with pecks, “you’re so cute, Yuha-yah”. Yuha plants her hands in your chest and pushes you away from her. “Th-that’s enough, oppa. My heart will burst if you keep going”, she says. You smile at her and peck her one last time, “I love you, sweetheart”. You see Yuha mouth “I love you too” before looking away to hide her shyness, and you feel a surge of warmth in your heart that you have not felt in the last few months of Gyuri’s absence—it’s very hard to stay composed and not burst out crying in front of Yuha right now, but you have to keep it in regardless.

Yuha mutes her TV so that she can initiate a conversation—or at least that’s what you thought she was about to do. Yuha positions herself on the sofa in a way that allows her to rest her head on your thighs. “Gyuri used to do this a lot with me”, you say in your head as you start petting Yuha’s head gently. Yuha grabs your free hand and places it on her cheek, “pet me here too, oppa”. You chuckle in amusement and do as Yuha asks, petting her on the top of the head and the soft cheek. “Your cheek is so… chewy”, you pinch her cheeks slightly, “very similar to Gyuri’s”. Yuha giggles, “really? Wanna have a bite, oppa?”. You bend forward and nibble her cheeks with your lips, “you’re so cute, Yuha-yah”. Yuha covers her face as soon as you leave her cheek, “y-you—um-um—you enjoy physical contact a lot, don’t you?”. “Yeah, thanks to Gyuri”, you say to yourself. You’re aware that you can’t say that to Yuha, so you come up with a different answer, “that is true; I especially like petting a girl’s head like this”.

You keep on petting Yuha’s head, and the comfort has sent her to dreamland. It is when you observe her facial features that you start seeing Gyuri. Yuha doesn’t look like Gyuri at all, so you suspect that your brain is playing tricks on you—in terms of looks, you must admit, Yuha can definitely make it as an idol, but you don’t want to give her ideas; losing another girl to the entertainment industry would be disastrous for you. You close your eyes so that you can put your mind at ease, as you’re sitting on a very soft sofa and a cute girl is using your thighs as a pillow.

-

The sound of your alarm stirs you awake at 5 am on a new day. In your half-awake state, you head to the bathroom to freshen up. It is when you’re fully awake when excitement and relief creep up on you—you successfully defended your thesis yesterday, thus marking the end of your study at university—and you find yourself giggling while looking at the mirror. “Congratulations on finishing university in 3,5 years, man”, you reach an arm out and shake your own hand through the mirror. You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, “oh, Yuha is calling me”.

“Baaaabe, congratulations!”, Yuha says over the phone, “I’m sooooo proud of you”. You laugh, “thank you so much, sweetie. I couldn’t have done this without you”. You mean it with every fiber of your body; Yuha has always been there with you throughout university, being your equal in terms of grades, and occasionally beating you by odd decimals—the only reason you’re not graduating with her is because Yuha went on a student exchange program, thus “delaying” her thesis.

“Babe, I miss you”, she says in an aegyo-esque voice, and you see that she wants to change to video call. You accept the video call request and put on a wide grin. “Aaaaah, I can’t see you”, she complains. You turn on the lights with a laugh, “sorry, baby—what about now?”. Yuha smiles in satisfaction, “that’s much better. I can see my handsome and manly boyfie now”. You explode in laughter; Yuha is referring to that one moment on week one of the fifth semester where a professor called you “handsome and manly”. “Oh my God, Yuha-yah, until when are you going to tease me with that?”, you ask her, amused by her little stunt.

“I mean, I do think that you’re handsome and manly”, Yuha bites her bottom lip, “I miss your touch, babe”. “I mean, you refused my offer last time—there’s nothing wrong with that, obviously; you know what kind of guy I am”, you defend yourself. Yuha takes her phone and aims the camera at her crotch, “look, babe; I’m so wet for you”. She is indeed wet, as proven by the wet spot in the middle of her panties. “You want me, babe?”, you tease her, “you want to have your guts rearranged?”. Yuha starts touching herself and moaning on camera, “please come here and fuck me—I’m begging you”. “Well, since you asked nicely”, you show her your car key, “I’m coming”.

-

“Welcome—oh!”, Yuha yelps when you press her against the wall and hold her hands above her head. “Hi, baby”, you put a leg between hers, “horny?”. Yuha nods and starts humping your thigh. You look at her with a naughty smile on your face, “oh, Song Yuha, what would you do without me?”. “I-I don’t know”, Yuha breathes heavily, “I-I need you, babe, please”. You laugh, “the sun is barely up and you’re already horny? Fine, let’s play your game”.

You tell Yuha to take off her clothes first, “lie in bed after that, ‘kay?”. She obliges to your wish—Yuha is very obedient when she’s horny because she wants to maximize her chance to get fucked. “Y-your turn, b-babe”, she says, eyeing your body from top to bottom. You pull your T-shirt over your head, and Yuha responds by biting her lip. It is when your cock is free from its restraints that Yuha lets out a moan. “I haven’t touched you yet, why are you moaning?”, you’re amused, “are you that horny?”. Yuha defends herself by citing that her pussy’s muscle memory caused her to moan.

You join her in bed at put her in a mating press, “ask nicely and I’ll give it to you”. “Please, daddy, I’m begging you”, she airs her frustration for sex, “tear me in two”. You have no difficulty finding her pussy since you’ve had a lot of sex with Yuha in the past few years. You plunge deep into Yuha right away, her natural lube ensures smooth first penetration. You look down and see that Yuha’s firm stomach is bulging, “am I too big for you, babe?”. Yuha nods weakly, “y-you’re tearing me apart, daddy—harder, please”.

You oblige. You plant your mouth on Yuha’s neck while your hips pick up the pace. Yuha moans and screams as she feels the overwhelming stimulations on her body. She chants whatever nickname she can come up with, feeling desperate for an orgasm. “Oppa, daddy, babe”, Yuha’s brain struggles to choose a name, “please, I’m so close—fuck, yes!”.

A particular deep thrust sends Yuha across the line with a scream. “Pl-please, let me breathe”, she begs, so you retreat from her warmth to let her do so. “M-my legs are like jelly”, she inflates your ego, her legs trembling in front of your eyes. “Can you take some more or are you tapping out?”, you ask, longing for an orgasm. Yuha tells you that she wants more but needs to catch her breath for a minute. “A minute? Bet”, you start a countdown in your head.

As soon as the countdown reaches zero, you flip Yuha onto her stomach and pull her onto all fours. Yuha whimpers, “you’re gonna have to carry me around after this”. You slap her succulent ass cheeks, aiming to make them red, earning screams from Yuha after each one. “You’re mine”, you say to her, “the marks on your skin will remind you if you ever forget”. Yuha shakes her head weakly, “I-I will never forget, daddy”.

You plant your feet on the bed and fuck her like a dog. Her legs turned into jelly earlier, and it is now time for her arms to follow suit. Yuha doesn’t have the strength to support her torso and decides to drop onto the bed. You hold her hair in one hand and pull it, “who said you can lie down?”. Even though you have her hair in your hand, you make sure to not make it too painful for Yuha—you love her after all, hurting her is counterproductive.

Yuha begs you to let her hair go, so you do as she asks, causing her to drop onto the bed with a sigh of relief. “I’m close, babe”, you announce, “I hope you don’t mind if I cum inside”. Between her moans and screams, Yuha manages to answer, “yes, yes, cum in me, daddy”. You lodge your cock deep in her pussy and blow your load, “fuck!”. You pull out right away, and the lightheadedness almost makes you tumble backwards. The excess cum drips out of Yuha, and you take some in your hand, “nice and thick, just the way you like it, babe”. Yuha isn’t answering, so you move to check up on her, “there’s no way you fall asleep right away”. You roll Yuha onto her back and let her rest while you leave to get her some water.

-

“Welcome, new face”, an HR staff greets you in front of your dad’s company building. He hands you an ID card with your face and name on it, “I know who you are, but I was told that you want to be treated just like any other person”. You bow slightly, “that is correct, Mr. Park. I ask for your kindness and guidance”. He grabs your shoulders and tells you that you didn’t need to bow to him like that. “Your first assignment is to follow a senior, Miss Lee Haein, as she works with a girl group”, he explains. “A girl group? What are they doing here?”, you ask. The staff asks you to walk with him, “a subsidiary of this company is doing an endorsement campaign, and what partner is better than a girl group?”.

“Hi, my name is Lee Haein. I’m your, uh, handler—call me noona, by the way”. You shake her hand, “nice to meet you, noona”. Haein asks you to follow her to a meeting room where you’ll be, well, meeting this girl group before they’re handed over to the subsidiary for the actual endorsement. “Here, sit next to me”, Haein pulls back two chairs for you and her. “So, to brief you quickly, they are a 4th-year girl group with, uh, moderate popularity both at home and abroad. We’ll be working with them to promote a new drink”, Haein explains. You write down the brief in your little memo, “this will be the first time I’m meeting a girl group in person”. Haein chuckles, “just don’t fall for them, okay? I don’t think idols can date”. You show her your lock screen of Yuha’s selfie—she wasn’t wearing anything when she took it, but only her face and neck is shown on the picture, “I’m taken, noona; I’ll be just fine”.

You spend the time by talking to Haein about work and life, and she points out that almost everyone at the company knows that you’re the boss’ son. You scratch the back of your head, “I hope no one minds that I work at my parents’ company”. Haein giggles, “the fact that you don’t want to be treated differently helps us accept you in our midst”. You hear knocks on the door, and by reflex you tell them to come in. “Hi, they’re here”, a staff member says as he opens the butterfly door.

The girl group members enter one by one, and you notice that they’re wearing the same clothes and name tagsg. You write down their names on your memo one by one based on the order of entrance. “We will introduce ourselves—one, two”, a familiar voice says, “hello, we are Cloud Nine! Pleased to meet you!”. You’re forced to stop writing—you know who that voice belongs to. “There’s no fucking way”, words loudly slip out of your lips, and people look at you confusedly. Haein creases her forehead in bafflement, “what’s wrong with you?”. You’re snapped out of your little trance, “o-oh, nothing—I’m sorry”. You lock eyes with the girl on the far right; “Jang Gyuri”, you think to yourself, “fancy meeting you here”.

Haein invites them to sit, and Gyuri sits right across from you. “Hello, my name is Jang Gyuri, leader of Cloud Nine. Nice to meet you”, Gyuri introduces herself and has the others introduce themselves after. You’re not sure what to feel or think right now, but you can feel your heart beating fast. Haein thinks you’re nervous, so she takes point of the meeting. “My name is Lee Haein and this handsome guy next to me is a new employee at the company. He is the—“. You cut Haein off before she reveals your status, earning a pinch on the thigh from her, “hi, everyone. Nice to meet you”. “You look good”, Gyuri mouths to you, and you shake your head to stifle your cheeks from blushing.

Haein hands Gyuri some paper and tells her to pass it on. Haein then starts the briefing, “right, as you can read yourself, you guys will be doing a photoshoot and shoot some short adverts at a nearby studio. Some marketing people from the subsidiary and the two of us will follow you there. Any questions?”. One girl shyly puts her hand up, “c-can we get i-ice cream after?”. Gyuri lightly slaps the girl on the back, “please forgive us; she’s been obsessed with ice cream lately”. You put on a gentle smile, “we’ll buy some soft serve for each of you, okay? I promise”.

-

You tell them not to enter the studio right away and follow you to the dessert shop next door to get some soft serve. Other visitors turn their heads when they see you and the nine girls enter the shop, some even pull out their phones to record the sight. “Hello, can we get 9 soft serves, please?”, you say to the staff at the register. He tells you the sum, and you hand him your personal card. “That’s your card, isn’t it?”, Gyuri says softly, “thank you, babe”. While your heart does flutter hearing Gyuri call you that, you have something to address. “I haven’t been yours for nearly 4 years”, you whisper to her, “please don’t call me that”. You see that Gyuri’s eyes almost let out tears, her gentle heart stung by your words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that”, you apologize to her. You see over Gyuri’s shoulder that one of the girls is looking at you, so you show her a smile and act like nothing happened.

After handing out soft serves, you ask them to follow you to the studio for the actual photoshoot. “I know soft serve isn’t the best thing to eat first thing, so I’ll get you some fruits and kimbap after this—is that okay?”, you ask them. “You’re not a regular employee, are you, mister?”, says a girl named Jina. “You caught me, Miss Yoo”, you decide to reveal who you are to them, “my parents own the company I work at—I believe they call someone like me nepo baby”. You hear some chuckles behind you, and one of them sounds like Gyuri’s.

You and friends—well, not exactly “friends”; more like collaborators—enter a photoshoot set, where a man with a clipboard is waiting for you and co. “Hello, my name is Baek Juwon. I’m the creative director for today. Pleased to work with you”, he introduces himself. After exchanging greetings, Juwon proceeds to explain to the group that they’ll take turns for pictures and then they’ll do advert shoots with 3 members at a time. “Okay, let’s start with Yoo Jina, Jo Yubin, and Kim Myongji”, he says.

While Haein is busy talking to some marketing guys, you take a seat a few meters away from the photoshoot set. You get on your phone to text your parents about the first day of working for them; “I think I’m having fun”, you say to them on the group chat. You see in the corner of your eyes that Gyuri is approaching, so you put your phone in your pocket. “Can I help you, Miss Jang?”, you say as she sits next to you. “Please, don’t call me that”, she says, “I know we’ve been distant, but you don’t have to hurt me like that”. Amused, you shake your head, “distant is an understatement—you’re now out of my league, aren’t you?”.

You notice that Gyuri isn’t saying anything back, and when you look at her face, she looks like she’s about to cry. You fish a handkerchief from your back pocket and hand it to her. Gyuri uses the handkerchief to wipe her eyes, “I’m so sorry”. “I’ve forgiven you long ago”, you sigh, “I’m glad it turned out well for you, by the way”. Gyuri chuckles, “I know how cold you can be towards people, but I never thought I’d be on the receiving end of that”. She’s not wrong: you have this habit of acting and talking like you don’t care about people you consider to be—oh, what’s the word—unimportant. You sigh, “there’s ice cream on the corner of your lips—clumsy as ever, huh?”. Gyuri wipes her lips with your handkerchief, “and you’re attentive as ever, babe”. You flinch a little, “please don’t call me that”.

-

Before you know it, it’s now lunch time. As you’re walking towards the green room for lunch, Haein says that she has something urgent back at the office, so she’s leaving Cloud Nine under your watch for the rest of the day. “See you tomorrow, noona”, you give her a fist bump as she leaves.

You sit at the big table with lunchboxes on it and ask each girl to take one. “So, what’s your story?”, Yubin asks, catching you off guard. “Excuse me?”, you say, caught off guard. “I saw Gyuri-unnie talking to you when I was doing the photoshoot”, she says—you didn’t know she was that observant. “We went to school together”, you answer her, not revealing the whole thing. Gyuri, however, proceeds to blindside everyone by revealing your past: “we dated in high school, and I broke up with him a week before the show started”. You slap your forehead, “my God, Gyuri-yah, why did you say that to them—the bridge burned down years ago”. Gyuri looks at her members one by one, “they deserve to know”. You can’t help but let out a sigh, “sure, whatever you say”.

Everyone stays silent during lunch, presumably trying to process what Gyuri has just revealed and figure out what they think of you. In your head, all you can think about is how Gyuri shouldn’t have revealed your past relationship with her and what it would have been had she not left you. You conclude that everything has turned out the way that the universe wanted, and that you have a plethora to be grateful for, like Yuha, for example.

“Oppa, I’m so sorry”, Yubin comes up to you after lunch, “I shouldn’t have asked you something personal like that”. You smile, hiding the discomfort from her, “it’s okay, I’ve made peace with myself—please, let’s continue our work and we’ll get out of here right after, okay?”. Yubin nods, “I like working with you, oppa. You’re such a cool guy”. You chuckle, “thank you, miss. You’re a cool girl as well”.

-

“Thank you for your hard work!”, you say to everyone at the end of the shoot, earning bows and replies alike from everyone on site. You ask Cloud Nine’s manager if they have other schedules after this, and he reveals that they’re done for the day. Gyuri comes up to the two of you, “oppa, I want some private time with him. You can leave me if you want to, I’ll have him take me back to the dorm”. Based on the manager’s expressions, you can tell that he’s not a fan of the idea, but he grants Gyuri’s wish anyway. “What do you want?”, you whisper to her. “I just want to talk”, Gyuri whispers back, “at your place, preferably, away from others’ ears”.

You don’t know what Gyuri has in mind, and you’re partially convinced that tears will be shed, but you give her the time and space anyway. “Follow me, please”, you walk to lead Gyuri to your car. “Nice car”, Gyuri comments, and you hum in response. “Remind me to lend you some clothes”, you say to her after getting in the car. Gyuri holds your hand that’s resting on the gear selector, “you still have this habit, babe?”. “Hah, she said it again—is she really trying to win me back?”, you sigh deeply, “yeah, haven’t got rid of it yet”.

-

“Have a seat, I’ll get you some clothes”, you point at the sofa as soon as you enter your apartment with Gyuri. You walk towards your bedroom and grab a T-shirt and a pair of shorts for Gyuri to change into—you guess that wearing a one-piece dress all day doesn’t feel comfortable for her. You take a knee in front of the sitting beauty, “I know we haven’t done this in years, but can I help you change?”. Gyuri nods gently and stands up, “I like that you still ask for consent”. “That will never change”, you turn Gyuri around and unzip her dress in one swift motion. You step away and turn your back against her, “you can continue undressing and wear the clothes on the table”. “You don’t want to look?”, Gyuri asks, “you haven’t seen me naked in years”. You roll your eyes, “I’m just trying to be respectful here; cooperate, please”.

Gyuri tells you to face her, presumably because she has changed into your clothes. “Cool”, you sit next to her, “so, what did you want to talk about?”. Gyuri holds your hand, “I still love you; why are you so cold to me?”. You stay silent as you think of an answer, “I’m not trying to be an ass, but you did this to me”. You hear subtle sobs from the girl next to you, “do you know how much I regretted breaking up with you? Do you know how many sleepless nights I’ve had, just spent thinking about you?”. You close your eyes as Gyuri’s words sting your heart. “Listen to me, sweetheart”, you pull out a pet name out of the deepest hole in your heart and hold her hand, “you did what you had to, and I did what I had to. We wouldn’t be in this position today had things turned out differently back then. Let’s not frown over things that never happened, because we have other things to be happy for”.

You hope that your words would comfort her, but they make Gyuri cry instead. “I would’ve been happy had I stayed with you”, she tries to hug you from the side, “fuck, why did I throw everything away?”. You never liked seeing Gyuri cry, and the sight makes you shed a tear yourself, “sometimes good things fall apart, babe, and we can only hope that they’re replaced with more good things”. “I hate not being with you, love”, Gyuri’s voice trembles thanks to the emotions, “I’ll do anything to win you back”. Your brain guides your eyes towards a frame sitting under the TV: it’s a picture of you and Yuha, taken after she surprised you on your birthday. “What would Yuha say if she saw me with Gyuri like this?”, you think to yourself. Gyuri sits on your lap, thus blocking your view, “please, please tell me I still have a chance to be with you again”. You smile gently, “if we’re really meant for each other, we’ll find our way back, no matter the distance between us”.

Your answer seems to be satisfactory, making Gyuri lean forward for a kiss. You put Yuha to the side for now and focus on Gyuri—you silently hope that Yuha won’t make a surprise appearance at your apartment like she usually likes to do. “I love you”, Gyuri says with a smile and teary eyes. She then points at the picture with her thumb, “who’s the lucky girl, by the way?”. “Yuha, Song Yuha”, you say, “I’ve been dating her throughout university”. Gyuri nods, seemingly in approval of your life choices, “she must be a sweet girl. I know you don’t fall for random girls”.

You pull Gyuri towards you for a hug and pat her back until her tears die down. “I wonder if you watched my show”, Gyuri says between sniffles. “Of course, I did—Yuha and I rooted for you”, you reveal, “she cheered loudly when they announced that you made the cut”. Gyuri giggles, “I hope I can meet her one day”. “Yeah, maybe”, you’re never one to say never, “she’d kill us both if you told her you’re my ex, though”. “Would she kill us if we have sex right now?”, Gyuri asks—conveniently, her tears have stopped coming out of her eyes. Amidst your fluster, you manage to answer her, “yeah, totally—I’m sure you understand why”. Gyuri pouts, “honestly, thinking about the fact that you have sex with someone else makes me jealous”. “You lost your right to be jealous years ago”, you defend yourself.

“Fuck it, I don’t fucking care anymore”, Gyuri jumps off your lap and pulls your shorts down, “I want you—right here, right now”. You halt Gyuri by grabbing her wrists, “Yuha won’t be happy about this”. Gyuri looks frustrated right now, “please, babe, just this once—I’ll make it worth your while”. Something is telling to see this through, so you decide to play along. “Hah, fine”, you say, “no one hears about this, okay? Not your members, not your parents; no one”.

Gyuri agrees to your terms, and she moves to suck your cock. You throw your head back and savor the first contact, “God, I’ve missed you so much”. Gyuri giggles, “I bet I’m better at giving head than your Yuha”. You thrust your cock into Gyuri’s mouth harshly, “mention her one more time and I’ll kick you out naked”. You take her gags as an answer—a sign of obedience. You take a handful of Gyuri’s hair and tell her to start face-fucking herself on your cock, and she does just that: Gyuri bounces her head on your cock, taking you deep and gagging occasionally. Feeling overwhelmed, Gyuri pulls away from your cock while coughing, “fuck, I forgot how big you were”.

Before the two of you continue, you have something you want to address. That being said, let’s move to the bedroom first, shall we? You pull Gyuri onto her feet and carry her to your bedroom. You make Gyuri sit on your office chair and kneel in front of her, thus earning a giggle from her. “You still like kneeling in front of girls, babe?”, she asks. You chuckle softly, “yes, I do—now listen to me, please”. You take a deep breath before saying your piece, “I still have love for you, Gyuri-yah, but I can’t dump Yuha for you—at least not right now”. “I won’t ask you to do that”, Gyuri rubs your cheek softly, “if you’re truly meant for me, you’ll find your way back to me—isn’t that what you said earlier?”. You’re glad to see that Gyuri is still the same understanding and mature girl from way back when, “I guess some things never change”.

Now that you and Gyuri have come to an agreement, you decide to continue where you left off. “Baaabe”, Gyuri surprises you with an aegyo—you know Gyuri finds her own aegyo cringe, “your sweetheart wants to be taken care of”. You palm your face as you’re amused by her little stunt, “what does sweetheart want?”. Gyuri jumps onto your bed and spreads her legs, “sweetheart wants you in between her legs—holy fuck, that’s so cringe”. You get on top of her and come in for a kiss. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’ve missed you”, you say to Gyuri, causing her to blush. “I-I’ve missed you too, ba-babe”, Gyuri looks away to hide her pink cheeks, “sorry, no one has said such thing to me in years”.

There are a few questions in your head right now, and to answer one of those, you need Gyuri’s help, “Gyuri-yah, what are we doing right now?”. Gyuri takes a deep breath, “I’m trying to steal you from your girlfriend”. You ask her to elaborate, so Gyuri adds that she wants to increase her chance of success by having sex with you to remind you of the old days. “I don’t know why you’re so determined to be with me”, you admit your confusion. “Because I really believe that I’m meant for you”, Gyuri says, “no disrespect to Yuha, but I know I’m perfect for you”. You’re somewhat offended by that; Gyuri has little clue about what Yuha is like as a girlfriend, and after nearly 4 years of absence, she returns and claims to be the perfect girl for you. “Is that so?”, you ask, your deep voice subtly laced with anger.

Gyuri rolls you onto your back and gets off the bed, “let me prove it”. She strips entirely before returning to your lap, and as a response, you take off your T-shirt and get equally naked. Gyuri wastes no time getting your cock in her. “Ngh, fuck, I forgot what it’s like”, Gyuri throws her head back, “is my pussy not perfect for you?”. She is indeed perfect; you took her cherry back then, so the shape of her insides is the perfect negative space of your cock. “Keep going” is your command, and you’re replied by a nod.

Gyuri lies on your body and starts sucking your neck while her hips are busy bouncing up and down on your cock. “I guess I’m not seeing Yuha tomorrow”, you mindlessly utter, referring to the hickeys that Gyuri is leaving behind. “Ah, ah—c-can’t you tell her you’re busy or-or something?”, Gyuri says, her breath irregular from the cardio exercise, “I don’t want to spend just one night—oh, fuck, baby”. You slap her plump butt once, “your manager will kill me”. “I’ll make something up”, Gyuri straightens her back and bounces faster, moaning and yelping as she goes; “cute moans”, you think to yourself.

“Baby, baby”, Gyuri closes her eyes and braces for an orgasm, “I’m about to explode”. You hold Gyuri by the waist and help her get to the line, “cum for me, baby”. Gyuri removes your cock from her pussy with a scream, and you feel her juice hit your thighs and pelvis. “Never knew you could squirt like that”, you comment. “Y-you never tried hard enough hehe”, Gyuri teases, her eyes still closed. You want to defend yourself and tell her that you always tried “hard enough”, but it’s probably a topic to be brought up some day else.

“Give me your cum”, Gyuri says after recollecting her composure, “hold on, actually; I want to feel your cock for a moment”. If pre-orgasm Gyuri was fast and impatient, post-orgasm Gyuri is now slow and gentle, the purpose being so that she can really feel your length and thickness.

“Baby, I’ve missed you so much”, Gyuri says between soft moans, “I regret everything”. The fluster throws you off, “wait, wait, let’s not say that”. You move to a sitting position and pull Gyuri onto your lap, “please, let’s not say that”. “But why? Why can’t I say that?”, Gyuri starts sobbing, “I do regret everything. I regret breaking up with you. I regret being a celebrity. Fuck, I regret hearing that you have a girlfriend now”. “Baby, please”, you softly call out to her, “we’re happy with our lives, aren’t we? We have things to laugh at and be thankful for, don’t we? You wouldn’t have had this career had you stayed with me—everything turned out the way they were meant to”. Gyuri presses her forehead on yours, “I’m so sorry; I’m so sorry for everything—fuck, I don’t want this career anymore; I want to be with you from now on”.

You’re torn: you don’t want to validate Gyuri’s words and send her spiraling in regret, but you also don’t want to leave Yuha—and/or hurt her—after all you’ve been through with her. Gyuri taps your cheeks to get your attention, “I want to leave my group next year and get married to you—fuck everyone and what they think, respectfully”. You lift her up and remove yourself from the warm cave, “you’re not thinking straight, baby. I can’t let you throw your career away like that”. Gyuri isn’t happy with the fact that you pulled out, so she impales herself on your cock again, “ah, God, yes—you-you don’t want to be with me? Make me pregnant and start a little family with me? I promise I’ll be a loving and obedient wife”. Gyuri has said multiple times that she dreams of starting a family with someone she truly loves, and you’d like to think that the “someone” she has in mind is you.

All the while you’re thinking about Gyuri’s words, thoughts of Yuha start creeping up on you. You have no reason to break up with her, as you’ve been each other’s solid rock, providing mental and physical support in moments of need—Gyuri demands your answer now, though. “Baby, how can you be sure that I’ll be a good man for you if I must hurt Yuha to get back to you?”, you try to reason with her. Gyuri bursts out in tears, “I fucking hate her. I hate that you still think about her when I’m right in front of you”.

You close your eyes and think of a better answer—something that can provide comfort or assurance for Gyuri. You’re not sure if this is a wise decision, but you’ll say it anyway, “babe, listen to me: stay with your group until the end of your contract while I figure out what to do with Yuha. Once we’ve done our part, I promise I’ll come running to you”. Gyuri shakes her head. “Not until the end of my contract—next year”, she emphasizes. You take a deep breath, “okay, fine—I pray that the universe helps us”.

-

Yuha asked you to come over because she wanted to talk about something, so here you are, in front of her door. You see signs of crying on her face as she lets you in. “Sweetie? Are you okay?”, you ask her. You make her sit on the sofa and kneel in front of her, “sweetie, talk to me, please”. Yuha holds your hands tightly, and you see that her eyes are coated with tears, “I-I’m moving to the US, babe”. Aside from the fact that you’ll be having a long-distance relationship with her, you don’t see other downsides to her moving to another country. “Okay, so what’s the problem, babe?”, you ask. “M-my dad wants me to marry someone as soon as I move there”, Yuha’s dam breaks, “so-so now he wants me to break up with you”.

In your head, you’re reminded of your mom’s words about soulmates, but you don’t want to appear insensitive in front of Yuha and make her think that she’s the only one holding onto the relationship. “Baby, with respect for your dad, I believe that he wants the best for you”, you try to plead with her, “maybe you’re meant for him and not me, as much as it hurts for me to say that”. “I-I don’t want to hurt you, baby”, Yuha can’t stop crying, “you love me, right?”. You smile gently, “I do, baby, there’s no question about that”. Yuha nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer. “I love you too, baby”, she says, “that being said, I’m breaking up with you”.

Yuha’s words sting you the same way Gyuri’s did all those years ago, so you can’t help but let tears come out. “You’re always obedient towards your parents, aren’t you, cutie?”, you say with a smile, “I understand, love—I’m breaking up with you as well”. Yuha jumps off the sofa and into your arms, “I’m so sorry; we weren’t supposed to end like this”. You press your lips on her temple, “it’s okay, baby. I’ll help you make peace with the situation and say that I accept this outcome”.

You hug Yuha until her storm of emotions passes by, patiently offering comfort for her. Yuha pulls away from the hug and looks at you in the eyes, “I’m so thankful for you, oppa. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for us”. You feel a surge of warmth in your heart, “I’m so thankful for you as well, baby. I’d like to sincerely apologize for my shortcomings, by the way”. “No, you’re always so kind and loving”, Yuha rejects your apology, “the sex is great too, by the way”. You peck her forehead, “good to know, baby”.

-

“Oppa, will I see you again?”, Yuha asks as she walks with you to your car. “I’d like to hope so”, you stop and make Yuha stand in front of you, “I hope that we’ll see each other again in better and happier circumstances, babe”. You peck her lips once, “anywhere you go, remember that I’m rooting and praying for you, every step of the way”. Yuha pulls you in for a kiss in response, “I’m praying for you as well, oppa. Goodbye, my love”.

As you start driving away, you see in your mirror that Yuha has started crying again, and the sight makes your heart ache—you know that her dad’s decision is final and that there’s no opportunity for negotiations, thus leaving you with no other choice but to leave Yuha. “I pray for your safety and happiness, Song Yuha”, you say to yourself.

While it is true that you’re still mourning the dead relationship, you still need to inform Gyuri about this. You call her while driving, and she picks up right away—this girl is always on her phone. “Gyuri-yah, Yuha broke up with me”, you tell her the summary of events, “can we meet? I want to talk”. Gyuri tells you to pick her up at her dorm, so you quickly drive there to see her.

When you arrive in front of her dorm building, you see that she has a cap and a mask—the classic celebrity disguise. Gyuri gets in your car as soon as you’re stopped. “So, does this mean that you’re mine again?”, she wastes little time to get to the point. You tell her to be patient and wait until the two of you get to your apartment.

-

Gyuri pushes you to the wall as soon as you enter your apartment. “You’re mine now”, she says with fiery eyes. “Just now?”, you tease her with a smirk, “you’ll leave me again tomorrow?”. She leans forward for a deep kiss. “You’re mine for eternity, my love”, she smiles, “can we order food, by the way? Me hangry”.

As soon as you lift Gyuri to carry her to the sofa, she wraps her long legs around your body. “I like that you make me feel small”, Gyuri says. You sit down with her and give her your phone, “order whatever you want”. “Okay, two double cheeseburgers and onion rings”, she announces her choices and throws your phone over her shoulder, “I hope that doesn’t break”. You shrug, “I mean, I can just buy another”.

“Okay, so, what do we need to talk about? Because all I’m getting is that you’re coming back to me”, Gyuri says. You stroke her cheeks gently, “that is the plan, but I have to ask: will you be mine again?”. She laughs out loud, “what the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I will”. The both of you just look at each other with a smile on your faces. “Leave your group”, you say to her, “I want your full attention; no comebacks, no promotions, nothing—just you and me”. You hope that she remembers her promise from a few months ago and commits to it. “Next year is my last, I promise. I’ll be yours entirely after that”, she says. You entwine your pinky with hers, “let’s not make empty promises from now on, okay?”.

You lean forward a bit to entice Gyuri into kissing you, and she does just that. Gyuri takes it a step further and invades your mouth with her tongue, keen on wrestling yours. You palm the back of her head and make sure she doesn’t pull away. That doesn’t work, however, as Gyuri still manages to break the kiss anyway. “Please, babe”, she inhales sharply, “I can’t wait any longer—I don’t want to wait any longer”. Both of you separate from each other so that you can get rid of your clothes. “I don’t want to wait either”, you say to her.

Your sofa is soft and all that, but it isn’t big enough for you to have sex on, so you take her to the bedroom. You let her continue where she left off and be on top while you lie flat. “I won’t let you pull out—oh, yes, baby”, Gyuri moans as she slowly sinks on your cock. You slap her butt a few times, “go on, make us cum”. She leans in for a kiss and begins fucking herself at your command, breaking it every now and then to let moans escape her lips. “You’re mine, you’re mine”, she chants faintly as she bounces on your cock at a steady pace. You can comfortably validate that, as you no longer have ties with anyone else but her. “Yes, baby, I’m yours”, you peck her lips, “you’re never leaving me again”.

Your validation works wonders to entice Gyuri, as she picks up the pace—this is usually a sign of her incoming orgasm, too. True enough, Gyuri announces that she’s about to blow. “Never one to last long, hm?”, you tease her. “Oh, oh, yes, fuck”, she moans loudly, “that’s your job”. That is a fact: you’re the one trusted to last long enough during sex, and you gladly do so every time. Gyuri screams from the top of her lungs as her orgasm hits her like a small truck.

Feeling weak, she just let herself go and falls limp into your warm embrace. “God, thank you for bringing him back to me”, Gyuri mindlessly says, “I love him too much”. “Too much? You make it sound like it’s a bad thing”, you say, earning a bite on the neck from Gyuri. “I hate you”, she says in fake annoyance.

You let her catch her breath and regain her composure in your arms. You take this moment to clear something up, “baby, I didn’t mean to tell you to leave your group like that; you can stay with them and extend your contract and all that”. Gyuri plants her palms on either side of your head, “no, I don’t want to; I want to be with you—can I work at your dad’s company, by the way?”. You giggle, “first of all, the company is mine—soon, anyway—secondly, yes, you can; be my co-CEO or something like that”. Gyuri accepts your answer, “well then, give me your cum, my dear co-CEO”.

You let her stay on top and thrust into her from below. Only now do you notice the bouncing plump tits in front of you. You pull Gyuri down to get in range with your mouth and suck a nipple. “Yes, baby, yes”, she urges you on, “that feels so good, fuck”. You want to know how she’ll react to tits stimulation after not having it for a few years, so you reach for the other nipple and tug slightly. Based on her scream, you can tell that she enjoys it—some things never change, indeed.

You unlatch your mouth from her nipple and announce that you’re close. “Yes—oh, fuck—please cum inside”, Gyuri begs you. You lodge your cock deep in Gyuri and blow your load, a vengeance since you were blue balled by her last time. Gyuri lets out a long moan as she feels the warmth of your gooey goodness. “My God, I’ve missed that so fucking much”, she says.

-

“Thank you for the meal!”, Gyuri unwraps her burger and takes a bite, “that’s so damn good”. Since she’s showed enthusiasm and enjoyment towards the burger, you unwrap yours and take a bite yourself. “Wow, that’s so juicy”, you comment as you inspect the patty. “Not as juicy as the cream pie”, Gyuri smirks. “Says the blushing girl”, you say, referring to her pink cheeks, “seriously, though, this is so good”. You lift the top bun off and stack some onion rings on the patty. “This should hit hard”, you say before taking a bite. As you’re savoring the taste, Gyuri makes another naughty comment, “doesn’t hit as hard as your creampie”. You pinch her cheek, “stop already, will you?”. After munching your way through dinner, you see that there’s only one onion ring left on the box. You grab it and take a knee in front of Gyuri. “Jang Gyuri, will you be mine?”, you say to her, the onion ring a substitute to a diamond ring. “Only if you stay with me for good this time”, Gyuri takes the onion ring from you and puts it in her mouth. You drop your jaw in shock, “I didn’t break us up, did I?”. She nods, “that’s true; I did. I’m terribly sorry for that, my love. I’ll stay with you forever—for real this time”. You reject her apology—not because you don’t find it to be sincere or whatever, but because there’s nothing to be sorry for; Gyuri is back in your arms now, and there’s nothing tearing the two of you apart.

[wandaslittlebird]

Broken

Another cut segment of Her Special Girl Part 2! (Hopefully coming soon)

CW: Stepmom/stepdaughter, mention of strap on usage, sexual experimenting, shame, no explicit smut but still very much 18+

“Mama?” You asked, laid back against the headboard with Wanda’s head resting on your chest. The strap she’d just fucked you with was still nestled between your legs, resting sticky against your thigh. Neither of you had the energy to get up just yet, and you were more than happy to stay just like this until your stamina returned.

The night had been wonderful. You’d never felt more complete and satisfied in your life. Having Wanda inside you made you feel like the most important girl in the universe. She loved you. She took care of you. Everything was perfect.

Except your stomach tightened with a certain unshakable shame and embarrassment.

You hadn’t cum.

She had to have noticed, but she hadn’t mentioned it. Your mind swam with possibilities. She had to be disappointed, right? I mean she’d fucked you for over an hour, putting in so much hard work to make sure you felt good… all for nothing.

You weren’t sure why it hadn’t happened. You’d felt so wonderful the entire time. She had made you feel so good. But your orgasm simply never came.

“Yes, my little love?” She mumbled into your chest. She was practically collapsed against you from exhaustion. It had been a good long while since she’d fucked anyone like that.

“I did a good job, right? I was good?” You tried to keep your composure, but your voice came out far shakier than you were hoping. Your hand nervously played with her hair, braiding small bits of it at random.

She turned to the side, propping herself up on her elbow so she could see your face. “Of course you were, angel. You did wonderful. Mama’s so proud of you.” She wiped your hair from your face, cupping your cheek to force your avoidant eyes to meet hers.

“Even though I didn’t…”

She lifted her eyebrows, waiting for you to finish your question. She knew what you were trying to ask, of course. When you didn’t continue, she reached up and squeezed your hand. “Did you still enjoy yourself?”

“Yes! Yes I-“ You felt the need to reassure her she hadn’t done anything wrong. Whatever the problem was, it was with you. You’d felt fantastic. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t cum. Your nervous ramblings were cut off when you felt her hand gently squeeze yours again. 

“Then that’s all that matters, honey,” Wanda reassured, resting her head back on your chest. “I enjoyed myself, too.”

You looked back down at her, confused. “But I know you worked really hard and I… I don’t wanna make you feel bad.”

She rubbed her hands up and down your hips in a calming motion. “I don’t feel bad, love. You were doing so good for me, telling me how much you loved me and how much you were enjoying yourself. I wasn’t doing this to make you cum, honey. I was doing this to make you feel good.”

You took a deep breath, still anxiously fiddling. You trusted her, that she wasn’t upset, but you couldn’t shake the feeling there was something wrong with you.

As if she could read your thoughts she knelt over you, straddling you on either side. You could feel the toy pressing against your stomach as she reached for your cheek again.

“You aren’t broken, detka,” she stated simply. Tears unexpectedly pricked your eyes at her words. She wiped them away with her thumb. “You don’t have to cum every time, sweetie. It’s okay.”

“But this time was special, and I really wanted to show you I was enjoying myself and… and I just don’t understand!” You cried.

“Sometimes our bodies react in ways we don’t expect,” she explained. “And each and every body is different. Some things that work for other people might not work for you. But that’s okay. I’m here to learn all about your body, and what it needs for you to feel the best it possibly can. It’s not a failure for either of us that you didn’t cum, sweetheart. It wasn’t a failure at all because we learned about a new way to make your body feel good.”

You nodded in understanding, so relieved she didn’t think you were broken or that there was something wrong with you. “So we can do it again?”

She laughed and kissed your forehead. “Of course honey. And next time we can use the vibrator if you want. I bet that will make you feel even better.”

You smiled. You were so glad you had her with you, on this journey to discovering your own pleasure. You wanted more than anything to learn what made her feel good, and it made your heart swell to think she wanted to do the same.

She collapsed against your chest again, peppering kisses across your bare skin. “And for the record,” she teased seductively, “I think I came enough for the both of us.”

[charlessmiths-wife]

here - have some hcs about how the RE8 women would help you when you’re feeling a bit down! Bc we all know stress would be a lot easier to handle with some of our fave evil women by our side <3 ❤️💕💗💓

RE8 WOMEN COMFORTING YOU WHEN STRESSED/UPSET

ALCINA

-> In my mind Alcina sort of freaks out the first time she sees you get really stressed

-> she’s not been comforted much herself in her life, so she’s not entirely sure how to do it.

-> at first, she’s a tad maternal about the whole thing. she’s accustomed to comforting her daughters, however - she soon learns there’s a difference between the comfort of a mother and the comfort of a partner

-> and so with time, I reckon Alcina shifts and grows into an excellent partner to have around in instances of stress. she’s calm, she’s cool and collected. she’ll reason with you and rationally talk you down from your stress - before doing something with you to take your mind off it. maybe going for a walk or taking you on a date.

-> either way, your stress always dissipates with Alcina’s help.

BELA

-> Ugh. She can relate.

-> Bela is a stressed girlie herself, it’s something she’s accustomed to - therefore it’s something she’s used to dealing with.

-> She’d be very helpful. She’d talk it through with you, I reckon Bela is a great listener - and she’d hold you close whilst letting you talk about it for as long as you need.

-> picture this, your head on Bela’s chest, her fingers slowly stroking and combing through your hair whilst you tell her about all your worries, and she softly hums and nods along. being there for you every step of the way. who wouldn’t feel better?

CASSANDRA

-> lmao

-> Cassandra is the love of my life, so I can confidently admit that for a while babygirl would have NO IDEA what she’s doing

-> I think Cassandra is a very rational woman, and so seeing you upset immediately makes her think there’s some sort of immediate threat that needs sorting out.

-> so her initial reaction might be more… panicked than the calm and cool response you might see from the rest of her family members

-> however once you assure her you’re in no harm or danger, she’ll calm down, and then she can get to comforting you.

-> because she’s so rational, Cassie is EXCELLENT at providing advice for your situation.

-> she’ll sort whatever’s upsetting you out instantly. she’s just that good.

-> and, of course, she’ll do her best to comfort you along the way. Pressing a kiss to your forehead and reminding you how proud she is of you. I’m in love.

DANIELA

-> babygirl is like a KOALA BEAR

-> when Dani can tell your stressed/generally upset, she’ll cling to you. cuddling up with you as much as she can and not letting you go.

-> “oh my poor baby! come here, lie down with me.”

-> she’ll pepper your face with kisses. all whilst letting you complain all you need about whatever’s getting you down.

-> she’ll also join in on the complaining. which is just… so funny?

-> “ugh, I’m sorry about your boss my love…. she sounds like a total jerk!” “… you don’t know her, Dani.” “Still!”

-> it’s just very loving from her. as she is with everything. she’ll hold your hand and kiss you softly and tell you how loved you are, and remind you that you’ll always have her.

DONNA

-> the first time she sees you stressed or upset - DONNA. FREAKS. OUT.

-> somehow even more than Cassandra and Alcina combined.

-> however, as time passes and you guys get to know each other more and more… Donna becomes amazing?

-> she can instantly tell when somethings getting you down. and from there she acts as a silent but strong presence. she’ll guide you through whatever’s getting you down.

-> her go to plan is to run the pair of you a bath, and then cook you dinner. I head cannon Donna is an EXCELLENT cook and she knows how to cook up a comforting and hearty dish that’ll make you feel just better.

-> she’s very good at dealing with the emotional aspect of it all. she might not always know exactly what advice to give, but she is an EXCELLENT listener and she’ll always do her absolute best to calm you down. rubbing your back and holding you close, wiping your tears if needs be.

-> (can you tell im a massive Donna girlie?)

MIRANDA

-> surprisingly, she’s excellent.

-> Miranda’s well accustomed, in my mind, to dealing with you being upset/stressed about a situation.

-> she knows if you need comforting or advice.

-> if it’s comforting you need, she’ll pull out all the stops. running you a bath, rubbing your back, letting you talk it out.

-> if it’s advice you need, Miranda is excellent. she’ll help you sort your situation out as quick as possible.

-> no matter what, she’ll brew you a cup of tea and remind you not to let things get you down. she reminds you of the importance of only concerning yourself with what you can control.

-> she’ll tell you how well you’re doing, and how loved you are. kissing you softly and resting your forehead against hers. she makes the world calm down for you.