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dennishater69 · 3 years

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bro i been thinking abt that (the one up there that one great post big fan) post theorizing that dennis is meant to be a twist on the “jim halpert” kind of a leading man thats standard on sitcoms. and how all the characters are like that yanno? historically successful, funny, and loved tv tropes put into an unforgiving and realistic world? like it’s even funnier when you think about how it’s almost as if the gang (ESP Den) /knows/ that they should be getting rewarded for all their antics and scheming. that’s what happens on tv. on tv jim knew from day one that he was the man for pam, he /knew/ he’d get her and (so) he /did/! he didn’t even have to try!! but in philly dennis “knows” that he’s the man for (caylee, mac, literally anyone) but it comes off as creepy not charming thus hes often rejected and humiliated.

dee is the female voice of reason (yeah ik the origin of kaitlins dee shut up let me talk), and yet her schemes and beliefs are just as titled as the boys. now look at this: lisa simpsons job wasnt to actually convince her dad or brother that their idea was dangerous. lisa’s job was to call attention to just how fucking stupid the male leads r. plus she’s a chick and implicit lesbo so she doubles as a punching bag. just like dee. cept dee isn’t super smart or musically inclined, the only thing she really has going for her is the gang. and the fact that she’s probably the best off in terms of not destroying her own life. which lets her have this unearned sense of superiority similar to dennis’ because she ~knows~ that she’s the voice of reason. what she doesn’t know is why even after she’s proven that that’s not who she WANTS to be anymore the guys still refuse to treat her like a real member of the gang even though she so obviously is. even tho the guys know she’s just as good (bad) as they are. lisa simpson, the chick from seinfeld, and lois griffin are all fine and good and are funny because deep down lois CHOSE to marry peter, lisa explicitly LOVES her family DESPITE their flaws. but dee is UNLOVED. there’s no point in her being there other than to contradict, not cos she necessarily wants to but the gang actively avoids giving her attention for anything else. so now you’ve got the voice of reason trope desperately trying to prove their own unreasonableness in an attempt to be liked. the boys resist. she acts up. they give her enough of a nod for her to stay for another drink. meanwhile the gang is getting into increasingly stupid and dangerous schemes because the voice of reason prefers not being shit on. almost like how a real person would react to being forced into that position. huh.

charlie and mac r sort of make up one; they’re the gang (ik ik) they’re dennis’ gang. the chandler and the other one. the “leading mans” sidekicks who are happy to go along with whatever plan, happy to let him get the girl, happy to remind him of how perfect he is when he’s down. (which obviously mac and charlie are NOT happy about ANY of that and HATE that dennis treats them like they are.) It’s also maybe important to note that usually the “leader” of the group is the one who brought the three friends together. dennis just crashed mac and charlie’s twosome one day and never left. mac and charlie support dennis but only out of annoyance or in macs case sometimes something deeper. either way, it’s out of trope. really they shouldn’t be able to function without dennis telling them how to. but at this point it seems like they’re better off without him around.

but charlie is also his own trope. Cause the thing is…charlie works as a lovable goofball, the slob with a heart of gold, socially awkward sure but deep down he wouldn’t hurt a fly. except. he would hurt a fly. he is a self-proclaimed “rat-basher”, hes the only character to explicitly say the n word, he stalks and assaults the waitress (her trope is p obvious. perfect girl that the loser drools over, she rejects him.) to the point of her actually breaking and agreeing to HAVE HIS KID (need a whole new post abt those beans jfc)

NOW. i ask you…what usually happens in tv shows with the charlie/waitress dynamic? typically i’d say that throughout the course of the show the audience realizes that the supposed “perfect girl” is actually a bitch and that it’s actually the unassuming, more natural looking, lead girl who should get together with the charlie character. depending on the show, maybe she’s the girl who’s been helping him chase his supposed dream girl. or she’s the girl who is, up until the big reveal, his lesbian-coded best friend who is SICK of hearing about this girl. or maybe shes just always been there, but he’s never considered her because they’ve been friends for so long, they’ve known each other since they were kids, maybe she isnt even on the table and she’s dating his friend, or she was dating his friend, or maybe…because she’s the sister of his friend. his friends TWIN sister. see where i’m going with this? it’s dee. dee and charlie are the b couple. the dwight and angela. they’re the obvious couple.maybe you didn’t see it at first but once it’s suggested you can’t unsee it. and when they DO get together. it’s like they always were. they’re the caring, devoted, consistent couple that the audience can lean on when things get messy in the other characters relationships. and yet. dee and charlie already DID get together. and apparently they hated it. hated it so much that charlie (the poor guy trope) wanted to stop and dee (girl next door trope) FORCES him to finish. not to mention neither of them seem all that interested in a caring consistent relationship. at least not with each other. why would they be?

and what would a B couple be without an A couple? but how do you even go about satirizing an A couple? they’re meant to stay in a “will they won’t they” for at least five seasons, and when they inevitably do get together it’s full of cheating and lying and breaks. cause thats what makes an A couple interesting to watch. they’re “meant to be” and yet still have to work through the issues that all relationships face. and if it’s a sitcom this is usually funny because all the audience and characters have ever wanted was for the A couple to be official, but now that they are there’s somehow even MORE conflict within the show. sound like anyone? macdennis. but dennis (leading man) wasn’t prepared for a SECOND leading MAN. no one ever told him he was going to be expected to share the limelight. he assumed he’d meet his girl and he would know and so would she and then she’d happily stand behind him forever. not next to him. she certainly wouldn’t ever try and step IN FRONT OF DENNIS. like mac does. now remember that none of the characters, except possibly dee, know that they are filling out a trope. but dennis is the golden god. of course he knows. and that is why he is or was or whatever actively ensuring that he and mac would never be together in a way that could potentially over shadow denniss “guaranteed” leading lady, and more importantly dennis. and even more important. leading men. are not. and have never. been gay. (debatable but i digress)

so a couple b couple who cares? i cares. cause taylor swift doesn’t rape the guy at the end of “You Belong With Me”. b couples exist as a more palatable A couple. meant to be without the drama. so this is extremely out of trope for chardee. yk what ELSE is out of trope? macs coming out. yeah we’ve all touched on how fucked that must’ve felt from dens pov but here’s the thing. by coming out, mac was able to confirm that the A couple, in fact, WILL. and most likely already HAVE. but he did this alone. he and dennis didn’t come out together, mac doesn’t think about dennis at all in find his pride, mac being gay is his. and that leaves dennis with…the knowledge that he and mac ARE the A couple. not only that, but apparently mac can satisfy that trope all by himself. macs outness is obnoxious. it’s like he’s bragging about it. showing it off. it’s how everything was, but. worse. he doesn’t even need anyone to do the annoying A couple stuff, the parade around, the delusion that no one could have possibly known. he doesn’t need dennis. but it’s pretty clear that at least some part of mac still WANTS dennis. and was expecting dennis to too. but that’s not real life. imagine you’re in a “will they won’t they” for DECADES and then, out of nowhere, ur partner says “yeah no we will.” and everyone believes them. they don’t even need to spare a glance at you because they’ve always kinda known and now thanks to “your other half” they always will know for sure. no matter what you do. now there’s an expectation.

and (full circle u guys) dennis’ trope doesn’t usually call for meeting expectations. he’s attractive and charming, he’s supposed to be able to coast until he looks up and realizes he gs everything he ever wanted. but now he’s 44. and he has everything he never wanted. his abusive (not)father is best friends and the father of? HIS highschool best friend, his other best friend is an asshole who is somehow an asshole abt: being gay, dennis being gay, being gay for dennis, dennis not validating that when he expected him to. and his sister, who has been firmly planted against him since they were kids. hes starving and he’s a legit alcoholic, the gross kind, and all he’s ever done is get a diagnosis that makes his friends treat him weird and abandon his son who is named after a stranger to everyone. and i’ll prolly make a king post abt it but dennis has been showing subtle signs of edging towards (another) extreme breaking point and idk what it’s abt (fingers crossed mac uwu ihatemyself )but i’m just saying that dennis’ mentality has kind of always directed the group in a direct way (whether dynamics, psyche, finances, lives, time, etc) so that’s innerestin

and so now i say the most cracked out part of the post. this theory is giving me untapped amounts of hope that the only way the show can end is with the gang finally settling and finding happiness or they all commit group suicide. and idk abt u but those are the only two endings i’m interested in seeing.

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incorrectdmp · 3 years

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DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area”

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck.

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend.

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

#out of context spoilers #dmp #discord murder party #dmp spoilers

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boognish-worshipper · 3 years

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Moonlight

the second part/continuation of Sunrise, Sunset!

this boutta get interesting……. it gets kinda messy but don’t worry, it isn’t over yet 🙏🙏🙏 also trevor can’t spell over text to save his life

Lamar didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. He just kept thinking the whole situation over, trying his hardest to connect the dots. Make some sense of it, or at least find some logical way to deny the truth. Had it always been Franklin? It’s not like Lamar ever had a long term girlfriend, or even a chick he was hung up on like his… friend. How long had he been completely naïve? He felt stupid for not noticing sooner. He didn’t even have anyone to confide in. He obviously couldn’t confide in Frank right now. Shit. How would he face him? Lamar screwed his eyes shut tight. What the fuck was he gonna do? He tried thinking about who to turn to. Michael was obviously a no-go, what with the dynamic those two had. Then he thought about Trevor. Maybe he’d help. Maybe. It wouldn’t hurt to just ask, right?

hey

crazy guy

wut leroy. u need smthn?

uh, yeah

sort of

wut iz it?

some complicated bs again. nothin new.

cant u go 2 frank 4 whtevr prblm ur having

not exactly

can i meet u somewhere private?

wut 4

u tryna fuk me leroy?

loco. no.

jus. meet me @ vanilla unicorn asap

Lamar sighed heavily, starting to wonder if this was gonna be a bad idea to try and talk to him about this. But Trevor was kinda fruity anyway, so at least he wouldn’t judge. His phone buzzed again.

alrdy hear bro

Lamar raced over to the strip club, going through the back entrance. Trevor was sitting on his desk, already waiting for Lamar’s arrival.

“LD! What brings you to my fine establishment at this time?” He stood up, but remained leaning against the desk behind him.

“Listen man, it’s.. it’s serious.”

Trevor’s faced lifted, looking surprised. Or.. whatever concerned looked like by his terms.

“How serious we talkin’ bro?”

“Ion know, just some stupid shit I’ve been tryna wrap my head around.”

“Uhh, elaborate on that?”

“It’s gotta do with Fr-…eaky shit going on with me.”

Trevor squinted at him, like he was trying to read Lamar’s mind.

“Like..?”

“Something to do with love, I think?”

“Oh. Well. Why’d you come to me for help?”

“Because I..” He said, the words deflating in his mouth.

“I think you’re the only person who could understand where I’m coming from?”

“…I’m not reading ya. Just say it, Lamar. Jeez.”

“I think I’m in love with someone.”

A long pause filled the air with tension.

“That it?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Jesus bro, what is the matter with you right now? You look like you’re gonna faint.”

“It’s, it’s someone we know, alright? There.”

Trevor squinted his eyes again, but not for long. His eyebrows flew to his hairline, and he stood upright from the desk he was perched on.

“Wait a minute…”

Lamar looked down at the ground, embarrassment swirling around in his stomach. He felt like some child that had been yelled at for stealing some candy. He didn’t like it. He was a grown fuckin’ man for crying out loud.

“You don’t mean..”

He stood there, saying nothing and grabbing his arm protectively. The silence was back, lingering for too long.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” Trevor said, almost inaudible.

“Wh.. what?” Lamar spluttered out, looking up.

“I fucking knew it!”

Somehow hearing those words comforted and pissed off Lamar. Obviously Trevor wasn’t planning on judging him for it, but how did he know before him?

“What the fuck you mean you knew?!”

“Oh please, Lamar. You aren’t a very subtle person.”

“I am too!”

“No. You’re not. You’re really not.”

“Tell me. How, how am I not subtle as a motherfucker?”

“Hmm… I can think of a few instances to count, but honestly a perfect example was that conversation we had dropping those cars off for he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

Lamar cocked his head sideways, confused. Trevor shook his head before starting his sentence back up.

“Remember when you ah… inquired about Michael and I? Our past?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“You compared us to some.. I don’t know, divorced couple or something. Figuring it was romantic?” He averted his gaze, turning pink.

“Well, I mean after the whole rundown of our partnership, I asked you about how you and our boy Frankie met.”

“Mhm..”

“And you gave me some weird, uncomfortable story about you having a threesome with him- Which he apparently wasn’t even apart of to begin with. Didn’t know why he even appeared in that memory, but I guess it sort of makes sense now. It was also the fact you.. uh, deciphered my relationship, and tried to compare it to you and Frank. That’s how I started to catch on.”

“Shit.”

“I mean I… I was in the same boat as you, kid. You were right, y’know.”

“I was?”

“Michael and I… were never perfect. But back then I was,” His voice lowered.

“…Am.” He corrected, voice barely above a whisper. Coughing, he continued.

“In love with him. Or something.”

“Shit, for real?”

“For reals homie. I know what you’re going through. Only difference is Mikey uh.. was a little more repressed than I was. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Lamar stood in shock, eventually flopping down on the couch.

“What the fuck am I gon’ do, Trevor?”

“Well, I know I’m friends with him but I’m not exactly as close to him as you or Mike. So I can’t exactly say whether or not he’s like Michael in that regard, you know?”

“Fuck, man…”

“Hey.. I uh, I’m sorry if I wasn’t much help. I never really knew how to deal with those feelings towards Mike. It’s like, even harder to manage when you have a bond like that.”

“No, no. I needed this I think.”

“Go home, Lamar. Try to get some rest or something.”

As he got up, he placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.

“Thanks.”

For the first time since they met, Trevor gave him a genuine smile. He patted his hand and scooted him out the door. Driving back, he still felt sort of restless. Even if he did sleep, it wasn’t gonna be enough. When he got back home and in his bed, he pulled out his phone.

So you’re back.

yup

i thought about what you said

Wait - really?

yeah. i’m a fuckin idiot

Doesn’t take a psychic to know that.

hey

that’s uncalled for lady

What is it you need? It’s very late you know - is what I said keeping you up?

bingo bitch

and uh yeah, i need to know what the fuck u said to franklin

what does he know?

All I told him was that I saw you at his house - very frequently I might add.

I might’ve mentioned you were there in his old room all the time, in his bed with someone he knew - an older woman, perhaps? He didn’t take it too well.

wait a minute

his auntie? i mean she bad and all but

i never.. like did anything with her. not like that

He thought differently. The implications might’ve been misread - why would you choose his childhood bed for something like that? Shame on you

and i might’ve picked the wrong fuckin person to speak to

lady, what the fuck? i never fucked his auntie!

i wouldn’t do that to him, even if she got a dumptruck ass

You are a strange man Lamar. All I saw was you two in his bed, very, very often.

I wouldn’t have known you felt anything for him had you not contacted me - and even now you still made a pass at her!

all we did was talk! n there’s nothing wrong wit admiring ass.

Whatever you say - oh wait…

I’m seeing something

goddammit

it better be good

I’m seeing you two again - and you’re right. You’re talking… about Franklin?

why else would we be in his room. if i was gon fuck his auntie we would’ve done it in hers or sumn

or in the livin room maybe.

I’m seeing something else now - he’s taken the place of his aunt. Oh. Wow…

what? what is it?

what do u see?

I… completely misinterpreted Franklin’s reading. It seems like it was supposed to be him in her place.

I’m not sure how he read it exactly - my best guess was that it wasn’t the latter.

And seeing as he no longer lived there, the vision got mixed up some how for both of us. You did have some connection to her though - don’t lie. That was most likely the problem.

i mean yeah. i hit on her a couple times

maybe thought it about it once or twice

More than that.

whatever. still, i ain’t do shit to her, ion stoop that low lady

Then I apologize. But I cannot fix this problem for you - you’re going to have to talk things out

Because right now, he’s assuming you’re acting weird because you actually *did* something with his aunt.

Fuck me man

this sucks

ur evil lady, u know that?

Hey, I’m not the one hanging out with his aunt. Now go to bed. I’ll deal with you another time.

hey wait

come back

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“God fuckin’ damn it not again!”

He chucked his phone against the wall, and began yelling into his pillow. He wasn’t gonna sleep right at all until he fixed this mess. Fucking psychic lady.

The next morning when Lamar passed by his mirror he audibly gasped. He looked like shit. He looked like he was definitely hiding something. And he knew he couldn’t see Frank today. His phone buzzed and as soon as he glanced down he felt the urge to throw it across the room. Speak of the fuckin’ devil. Franklin was fucking calling him. Taking a deep breath, he hit answer.

“Yo.”

“Hey L. How you feelin’?”

“Better. Thanks.”

“Yeah man. You know what was up wit’ you or…”

“I.. I think it was some sort of stomach bug man. Doin’ alright now tho.”

“Glad to hear.”

“So are you callin’ me for something or-“

“Actually yeah. I wanted to talk to you.”

“N-now?”

“Later. Sunset? That cool wit’ you?”

“Uh yeah, yeah. Heard it’s a full moon.”

“Dope. Been meaning to talk about this for a while anyway, and you always dragging me around to go see the sunrise.”

“Makes sense.” More sense than the shit he was in the middle of.

“See you then?”

“Of course dog.”

Click. Lamar dropped his shoulders, which had grown tense during the duration of the call. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to understand what he was dealing with better. He thought to himself that he couldn’t possibly be gay, because he loved himself some hoes now and then. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel the same around Franklin. Women and men… was that possible? Could you be into men AND women? He looked it up on his phone, and found a definition that fit him. Bisexual? That’s a thing? He thought it was just, gay and straight. That you couldn’t be both. But… at least that was accounted for. Putting his phone away, he moved on to the next part of the puzzle. What was he going to do when night time came? He couldn’t straight up tell Franklin. That would ruin everything. But how would he explain that he didn’t fuck his Aunt? He had to have a reason to back it up. Either way, he was screwed.

Night came too quick. Lamar kept pacing his room, not taking his eyes off his phone that rested on his bed. Any minute Frank would call him. Any fucking minute now. He still didn’t have a plan. What was he going to do? The phone lit up, buzzing loudly. Oh no. He practically dove to answer it, feigning a nonchalant tone. It wasn’t very impressive.

“Heyyy Frank. I was waiting for word from you.”

“Hey. I’m on my way, be ready.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“See you in 5 L.”

Even after Frank hung up, he didn’t lower the phone from his ear. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, ohshit. He was panicking now, phone dropping to the floor. Not noticing how long he was standing there, he heard a car pull up, then honk. Oh, shit. He raced out the door clumsily, trying to shove his phone in his pocket. Opening the car door, he was hit with the now overwhelming scent of Franklin. Something along the lines of weed and the same cologne he’d be buying for years. He remembered how Tanisha had gotten it for him back when they first started dating as a gift. The detail only made him more nauseous.

“Hey LD.”

“Hey.”

“Get in homie, I got a good spot for us, real sick view n shit.”

“Ah.. aight.”

The car ride wasn’t entirely awful for Lamar, listening to Collard Greens play loudly through the speakers. Franklin had taken them to some secluded spot near Vespucci beach, where no one would bother them. As they got out of the car, Lamar got a clear view of the sunset. It was even better than a sunrise. They found a bench to sit on, and Lamar felt like there wasn’t enough space between them. Did it magically fucking shrink as soon as they sat down? Shit. He cleared his throat, trying to seem neutral and not like he was internally freaking the fuck out.

“So uh… what’d you need to talk to me about?”

Franklin sighed, and Lamar’s stomach was in knots.

“It’s.. just somethin’ I been thinkin’ about for a while. I really jus’ didn’t know how to bring it up or whatever. But let’s jus’ enjoy the sunset right now.”

In contrast to how every sunrise went, the sunset contained shades of pinks and purples. There were also mixed shades of green, from the combination of yellow and blue clashing together. It was a miraculous sight. Frank was right, why didn’t they see sunsets more often? He watched the light sink down past the water, replaced by moonlight not much later. The two sat in silence, as stars filled the sky. The view had grown darker, but he could see the moonbeam reflect in the calm waves. He turned to Franklin, who had a serene expression on his face. He was blue in the moonlight, and it made Lamar feel all kinds of things he never felt for anyone before. Franklin side-eyed him, sitting upright. Here goes nothing.

“Lamar… I just. I gotta ask. I uh.. heard from someone,” Fucking psychic lady.

“That you uh.. and my.. Denise. My Aunt. Were uh.. you were at my house or something with her?”

Lamar eyes were wide. Franklin looked anywhere but him, clearly uncomfortable bringing the topic up. He kept tripping over his words, not knowing how to ask.

“Are.. and I won’t be mad if you are, but are you… and my Aunt.. Are y’all foolin’ around?” He scrunched his face up getting the words out. He almost looked hurt, like he was betrayed at the thought of it all.

“What?”

“Are you fuckin’ my Auntie or what man?!” He forced out.

“Franklin. What.”

He knew the psychic lady had said he got the wrong idea, but hearing it out loud from him was just mind boggling.

“Jesus Christ Franklin, no. I’m not! Why would you even think that?!”

Now he felt hurt. Did he really think Lamar would do something like that?

“You say shit about her all the fuckin’ time! I don’t even know why, because she’s fuckin’ nuts man! I have heard a million and one remarks about her from yo bitchass self!”

“Yeah but I would never-“

“And in my fuckin’ bed man?! Are you for real?!”

“I’m not fucking her! I never was!”

“That’s not what I fuckin’ heard dog! And don’t think I haven’t noticed how weird you’ve been actin’, all guilty n shit. I knew you were hidin’ shit from me, I jus’ didn’t think it’d be my absolute worst fuckin’ nightmare!”

“Franklin! For fucks sake bro that’s not why I’ve been actin’ so weird!”

“Then tell me, exactly, what the hell your problem is!”

Lamar’s mouth hung open, looking for what the fuck to say.

“Homie. It’s not like that. I’m seriously, seriously not fucking her. I’m… just-”

“What, Lamar?!”

“I think I’m in love.”

Shock covered Franklin’s face. Complete, utter shock. His face then twisted into a furious expression.

“Are you fuckin’ for real right now? You’re not fuckin’ my Aunt, you’re in love with her?! Fuck you man!”

“Wait, no that’s not what was I was implying-“

Franklin shot up from his seat, throwing his hands up.

“You’ve officially lost yo mind dog. You two enjoy each other. I’m fuckin’ out of here bro.”

“Franklin, wait-“

“No, no. I.. I need to go. I need to clear my mind or whatever the fuck, because I am just… unbelievably pissed right now.”

“But I’m not-“

“Save it, LD. I’ll… catch you later. Or something. Bye.”

Franklin walked back to his car, abandoning Lamar. Some how, this was worse than confessing to him. He felt sick to his stomach. How the hell was he gonna fix this mess? He remained seated, watching the water lap at the shore. He needed to fix this. And he knew, although he wish he didn’t have to, that’d he’d have to come clean. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship, and some how still did by just not blurting it out. Soon. Soon, after Franklin was ready to talk to him again. He prayed to a higher being, hoping desperately it’d all work out.

//end of pt 2!!!!! i’m sorry this is kinda angsty or whatever :( but i am gonna write a happy ending for this!! lamar deserves the world i love his character sm *sobs* (also sorry this part’s longer than the last one LMAO)

#grand theft auto 5 #gta v #lamar davis #franklin clinton #franklin/lamar #angst #one sided pining #but don’t worry #it’s gonna work out #bc franklin’s hiding shit himself 👀#not gonna say anything #framar

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leia-imogen · 3 years

Text

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

#aaron & the family he's found all by himself #okay this was most aaron and sav centric #but i love them so.#aftg headcanons #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #aaron minyard headcanons #the vixens #aaron minyard #andrew minyard #twinyards #nicky hemmick #katelyn aftg #katelyn finley #sav jameson #cleo magdalene

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 3 years

Note

can u write more leachel please

no but i can fuck ur bitch

Leah’s first public reading was not packed. Of course, the seven of them all filed into front row seats and of course her parents, grandparents, Ian, and most of her teachers were scattered throughout the audience. Even Emily, her friend from middle school who she hadn’t really talked to since she went to private school, showed up. It was a sweet gesture but beyond the people who knew Leah personally, only around fifty or so were actual fans. It was fine and Leah did an amazing talk and afterwards Rachel slapped her hand against her thigh, wishing she could actually clap.

Leah’s tenth public reading was standing room only.

The National book festival was held once a year in DC and while there were two panels Leah was put on, they also asked her to do her own talk because she had a new book coming out. It’d been called by the New York Times book review “the most anticipated book of the year!” And Rachel had only been allowed to read the first draft of the first chapter, which was slightly killing her. But her girlfriend had a process, even if that process was to solely talk to Nora about it. Nora and sometimes Toni.

When Leah walked onto the slightly raised platform the entire room erupted into applause. It was a standing ovation and Leah looked beautiful and also incredibly embarrassed. Her eyes found Rachel’s immediately and they were so fucking intense, Rachel just wanted her to keep looking at her forever. Forever and a half.

“Wow,” Leah began when she reached her microphone. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” There was laughter, more cheers, gradually people sat down. “Thank you all for coming, I know there’s some pretty amazing panels going on right now. There’s still time to go to Roxanne Gay’s talk, it’s a few rooms down.”

More laughter, more cheers, a “We love you Leah Rilke!”

Rachel shook her head, smiling. Leah could pretend all she wanted, but Rachel saw what was happening. The entire world was slowly coming to life under her touch. The English language was being shaped to fit Leah Rilke.

Every think piece, ever op-ed, every review, mentioned the words Leah Rilke somewhere in there. Every teenage girl was talking about her like they’d talk about the Bible. TV studios and movie execs sat in rooms and discussed about how they could capture her writing style. Publishing houses wanted to find their very own Leah Rilke. Tattoo artists were adding to their pre drawn collections symbols from her books.

It was happening slowly, a little at a time, but time happened all at once. And history textbooks were being printed in Texas for the year 2032 that had an entire chapter about Leah Rilke.

The world was changing, and for the next half-century it’d be one where Leah Rilke was alive. And after, it’d be one where everyone was looking for the next Leah Rilke, however futile.

Leah didn’t see it, but Rachel could. And Nora. They talked about it sometimes, when a Dolly Parton song came on or Tolkien happened to come up in conversation.

“I’m not really afraid of public speaking,” Leah continued. “But can you all look somewhere else for a minute? I just need a break, I feel like you all are staring.”

There was more laughter and Rachel felt her phone buzz. Her eyebrow furrowed and she ignored it, instead focusing on the woman wearing her engagement ring.

It’d taken her a minute to propose, insecurities thriving with Leah off giving talks or going to conventions like this one. In a big empty house it wasn’t hard to feel less than, especially with one hand.

It’d been Dot who talked sense into her. Dot surprisingly sensible when she herself had eloped with Fatin, annulled it, and eloped again.

“Okay,” Dot said. “Maybe she’s too good for you. So what? She doesn’t know that.”

“Exactly,” Rachel said. “That’s my fucking point. She’s gonna find someone better and realize that I’m just… me.”

“Yeah,” Dot nodded.

Rachel glared at her. “You aren’t making me feel better.”

“I’m not Fatin, or Shelby, or Martha.”

“I know that,” Rachel said.

“It sounds like you wanna marry her,” Dot said. “So fuckin’ marry her. Then she won’t be able to fuck off with someone else.”

“But I want her to be happy,” Rachel said.

“So fuckin’ make her happy,” Dot said. “I don’t get what the fuckin’ problem is.”

So she proposed. Leah said yes immediately, not even a moment of hesitation, and they were planning a small wedding with a rabbi they both knew and a Huppa but not a Ketubah. Some sort of halfway for the both of them.

Rachel’s phone buzzed again and she turned it off, slipping it in her backpack to focus on Leah.

“This is probably the hardest book I’ve ever written. Not because its deeply personal or anything, just because I had to do so much research for it,” Leah said. “I even had to dedicate it to my sister in law because she spent hours with me looking at flight patterns and chess strategies. Do you guys know how many different kind of tulips there are? I can’t say I don’t understand the dutch a little better now.”

Nora squeezed her wrist and she looked over at her. Shelby caught her eye from beside Nora and passed her a phone, the notes app open.

Jeffs here.

Rachel frowned. Jeff Greene? The book review guy? Or maybe Jeffery Wilson, the Sony guy. Didn’t they have a neighbor named Jeff who liked to complain about their noise level to the police?

“Jeff?” She mouthed back.

Shelby was stone faced when she nodded and something sunk in Rachel’s gut.

Fuck. Jeff.

Leah was still talking but Rachel couldn’t hear her.

Where?

Shelby took the phone back.

The back.

Rachel clenched her jaw and Nora squeezed her wrist again, eyes wide.

Has Leah seen him?

Shelby shook her head and Rachel let out a breath of relief.

She got to her feet, and cast a quick smile back at Leah who’s brow furrowed at her. She kept talking though, stumbling a little on her speech. Behind her, Fatin, Martha, and Shelby followed.

Jeff wasn’t hard to spot. He was the washed-up has been, with the fraying hair and dark circles under his eyes.

“You need to leave,” Rachel spat.

“I’m just here to apologize,” Jeff said. “I don’t even—”

“You’re leaving,” Shelby cut off. “Now. Or I’ll call security.”

“Take this outside,” Someone hissed and Fatin dragged him out, shoving him roughly through the open door. Several more people waiting outside slipped inside, entirely grateful.

“Listen, I know I fucked up, I want to apologize,” Jeff said.

“She was a child,” Fatin said. “You’re a fucking predator.”

Jeff paled.

“Wait,” Martha said. “Are you here to apologize for dumping her, or for raping her?”

“I didn’t—”

Maybe it was Shelby that threw the first punch, or maybe Rachel. Maybe they both came at him at once. But Martha didn’t hold Rachel back like she normally would’ve, and Fatin snapped at some people to put their phones away.

Leah said it was ironic later, that Fatin was telling people to put their phones away, while Martha urged on a fight.

But it wasn’t a fight, it was a beat down.

Shelby had taken Toni to enough kickboxing lessons over the years to know how to throw a punch, and Rachel had been picturing this moment with Jeff for too long.

No one intervened once Martha pushed a couple people away explaining he was a pedophile who prayed on teenage girls. One person said, “Isn’t that Jeff Galanis?”

And Martha said: “Yes.”

Jeff Galanis hasn’t published a book in five years at that point, he wouldn’t publish one again. Leah wasn’t happy Rachel broke her only hand, and Toni started going to kickboxing lessons alone.

“It was stupid,” Leah told her, when she met her outside after they’d all been thrown out. “I don’t give a shit about him anymore. I just wanted you there.”

“I know,” Rachel said. “But it wasn’t stupid to me. I wanted you to know you wouldn’t have to see him again.”

“Rach,” Leah sighed. “You remember how when we were driving here a Smith’s song came on?” Rachel nodded. “I realized then I literally couldn’t remember his last name.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Leah said. “We’re getting married in a few months, my new book is coming out, your starting your new job. We’ll probably be aunts as soon as Toni and Shelby finish those foster parent classes. Jeff is like—probably the least important person in the universe right now.”

“Sorry I missed the talk,” Rachel said.

Leah kissed her, soft and easy like they’d never once been.

“It’s okay,” she promised. “There’ll be others.”

There were.

#gus writes #leachel fanfic #leachel #leah rilke #toni shalifoe #some post canon hcs for you my love #the wilds fanfic #the wilds #gus answers

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craftypeaceturtle · 3 years

Text

Distanced, part 1

Summary: A group chat fic! How shall these useless students cope with daily life.

Note: This is my first attempt at anything even remotely like this! I have no idea how this will turn out so feedback is greatly appreciated! Intrulogical.

Next part here!!

MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:15

Hello. This is Logan Sanders from Prof. Smith’s seminar. Do you have any suggestions for how we should go about completing the upcoming assessment?

Remus Prince: who dis

I literally just stated it. Logan Sanders.

I wear the tie.

Remus Prince: OHHH

Remus Prince: Well 1stly

Remus Prince: What’s the best planet in the solar system?

Pardon?

Remus Prince: i LitERaLlY JuSt stAtED iT

That has nothing to do with anything, we just need to get through this project.

Remus Prince: if u want to work then u have to answer

Jupiter.

Remus Prince: cool.

Remus Prince: You’ll do.

Remus Prince: My name is Remus.

I know. We did actually swap phone numbers. We in fact discussed which topic we would be doing for over fifteen minutes in the seminar. So we have indeed met. If you continue to be obnoxious then this will be a easier project.

MESSAGES: To Remus Sanders (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:22

Why did you ask that question?

Remus Prince: I asked my brother that question and he answered earth

Remus Prince: I’ve had trust issues ever since

Roman’s favourite planet is Earth?

Remus Prince: HAH

Remus Prince: ye he’s an idiot

Remus Prince: I’ve gotta test everyone now.

Remus Prince: You passed btw

Remus Prince: WAIT!

Remus Prince: Do u know Ro?

Yes, he is my friend and roommate.

Remus Prince: What was ur name again????????

You can literally scroll up and reread it. I refuse. You got into university for a reason and so you can manage my name.

Remus Prince: jk

Okay then. Do you want to discuss how we should go about creating this powerpoint?

Remus Prince: what’s there to ‘discuss’?

We can separately conduct our research however it is regrettably better to meet up in person to practise not only giving the presentation but also the construction of the presentation itself.

Remus Prince: man you just love sending essays huh

I have written out longer messages. I don’t understand the point of sending a sentence at a time and risk getting interrupted. Plus at least my texting doesn’t seem all like an assault of constant notifications.

Remus Prince: fair

Shall we say that we should aim to get our presentation research finished by two weeks (15th). That leaves us another two weeks to construct the powerpoint, gather more research if necessary, then practise presenting.

Remus Prince: k

GROUPCHAT: Goths, Emos, and Remus

Tuesday, 16:26

Octopussy: can I vent for a sec

Octopussy: So! I’m just sitting here. Y’know. Vibing.

Octopussy: Then out of nowhere the nerd from my class starts messaging me about the group project that’s due a month away

Octopussy: like wtf

Octopussy: nice to know the nerd thing isn’t just appearance

Vigilant: help

Octopussy: he made a big deal about meeting up as well to do this!

Octopussy: No one in the class even cares!

Octopussy: No one is even remotely

Octopussy: Not even close

Octopussy: To thinking about that project right now!

Octopussy: We’ve got ages!

Vigilant: oh sweet jesus

Octopussy: Like! We’ve got a month!

Octopussy: AN ENTIRE MONTH

Octopussy: Like he also wants to meet up as well to practise

Octopus: Like ew.

Top-Hat-Gay: Are you done?

Octopussy: ye

Octopussy: he’s a dick

Vigilant: oh thank god

Top-Hat-Gay: Ha, as if you believe in god.

Vigilant: If it stops Re from not spamming us then I’ll believe whatever.

Octopussy: rude

Vigilant: bitch

Top-Hat-Gay: On an actually important note, which one of you last used my nail bag?

Octopussy: me!

Octopussy: you need more green

Top-Hat-Gay: No I fucking don’t!

Top-Hat-Gay: There was an entirely new bottle in there!

Octopussy: I said what I said.

Top-Hat-Gay: I hate you.

Octopussy: Thank bby

Octopussy: ALSO!

Octopussy: I found out the nerd also lives with Ro.

Top-Hat-Gay: So?

Vigilant: hE’S FORBIDDEN

Top-Hat-Gay: Wait so the nerd is Logan?

Octopussy: He is!

Octopussy: not that it seems to be having any effect on Ro. he’s as dense as a brick.

Top-Hat-Gay: I saw him today going into Remy’s.

Vigilant: Why are we even talking about him

Vigilant: Like who gives a shit.

Octopussy: dunno

Octopussy: just thought it was weird

Top-Hat-Gay: Maybe you should switch partners. Especially if he wants to meet up at some point.

Octopussy: nah

Octopussy: not worth it

Top-Hat-Gay: A teacher wouldn’t care. They only want to see good grades. They won’t mind moving stuff around for you.

Octopussy: He seems harmless.

Vigilant: you literally called him a dick after one conversation.

Octopussy: he is a dick

Octopussy: he seems stuffy but just a nerd through and through. He’s not going to be a prick or anything.

Vigilant: This isn’t really about him. He already got you talking about you know who in your first ever conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t hang around him.

Octopussy: I just thought it was interesting

Octopussy: It doesn’t mean jack shit

Octopussy: Not everything I talk about has some grand meaning.

Octopussy: I just thought it was weird that this nerd I share my classes with also lives with my bro.

Top-Hat-Gay: And that’s perfectly fine Re.

Octopussy: soz V

Octopussy: didn’t mean to blow up in your face

Octopussy: just annoying to feel psycho-analysed

Vigilant: soz

Octopussy: okay!

Octopussy: that’s proof enough!

Octopussy: we can behave to each other so ice cream plz!!!!!!!!!!!

Top-Hat-Gay: JESUS CHRIST I SAID THAT AS A JOKE LAST YEAR

Octopussy: I will eat V’s posters unless you give us reward good boy icecream

Vigilant: chocolate pls

Top-Hat-Gay: jesus do you lot know how long it takes for me to put on my cape to go shopping

Vigilant: yes

Vigilant: we are precisely aware of exactly how long it takes

Vigilant: that’s why we don’t go shopping with you

GROUPCHAT: THE FAM ILY

Tuesday, 16:38

Pat-on-the-back: Heya guys, are we all in for dinner tonight?

Logan.S: I am.

YourHopesandDreams: I will be in at 7. If you could be so compassionate to push your meal back until then, I would be truly indebted to you.

Pat-on-the-back: Fine by me!

Logan.S: I am agreeable.

Pat-on-the-back: Also Lo! Are you finished with your work?

Logan.S: I have finished my to-do list so I am available if I’m needed.

Pat-on-the-back: No, you’re all good! I just wanted to check. It sounded like you were doing work for like four hours straight.

Logan.S: It took three hours thank you very much.

Logan.S: So what are we doing for dinner?

Pat-on-the-back: I was thinking lasagne!

Pat-on-the-back: also! Don’t think I’ll notice that change in topic!

Pat-on-the-back: I thought we all agreed on two hour stretches of work with a 15 min break at least. I mean... it’s even written on our calendar! There’s no way you forgot, did you Mister!

Logan.S: It’s fine Pat.

Logan.S: Just let it go

Logan.S: I needed to get it done

Logan.S: I don’t need to be babied.

Logan.S: I’m taking a break now. I’m okay.

Pat-on-the-back: I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure. As long as you feel okay then everything’s alright! How was your work anyway?

Logan.S: Fairly ordinary actually. I had to go through some of my notes and rewrite a couple of pages then I had to organise a group project due the 2nd of March.

Pat-on-the-back: Sounds productive!

Logan.S: Thank you.

YourHopesandDreams: Ew. Group project. Who’s your partner?

Logan.S: We are in entirely different courses, why do you think you would know them?

YourHopesandDreams: Everyone knows the drama students know everyone.

Logan.S: I’m working with Remus.

YourHopesandDreams: You should ask to swap partners.

Logan.S: I won’t do so unless I have a genuine reason. I’ve not had any interactions with him previously and while he did seem half-hearted and obnoxious in his messages, he seems harmless. If he messes everything around then I will but I won’t make a fuss unless I have reason to.

Pat-on-the-back: That’s fair but please make sure to tell us if he pulls anything.

YourHopesandDreams: Your loss.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:02

hey u awake

Nerd: What on earth are you doing up at 3am?

Soz

Wrong number.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:12

Nerd: What is your favourite planet?

wha

Nerd: I figured it would be fair to ask your test to you. For all I know you could be as uncultured as your brother.

can we not talk about him

I dunno really

I wanna say pluto because they deserve it

but I kinda like saturn best.

Nerd: Any reason why?

Just kinda interesting

Big, lots a moons, ring.

It’s just a cool planet.

Nerd: Fair enough.

Do you have a reason to like jupiter?

Nerd: If I’m being honest, my science teacher absolutely adored Jupiter. I don’t know why but that memory of him ranting about how cool it was just really stuck with me. I was only about 8 years old. But I found myself agreeing with him. Back then my fascination was a lot more childish. I thought it was fascinating that since Jupiter was a gas planet it hadn’t been blown away yet. I grew up from that view but the interest never left.

ew that was almost cute.

Nerd: I concur that was very unprofessional.

WAIT

HOLD ON

Why hasn’t Jupiter blown away!?!?!?!?!??

Nerd: Excuse me?

8YR OLD YOU IS A GENUIS

Nerd: There’s no atmosphere in space!

But there’s pressure and junk isn’t there?

Nerd: The pressure is pulling the mass into the centre which keeps the planet whole.

Do you think we could step on Jupiter?

Nerd: I don’t know.

I thought you knew space!

Nerd: I do biology! To get into a biology degree, I did a bunch of biology based subjects! Why would I know anything about space?

I dunno.

I guess if you look like a nerd people just presume.

Nerd: I’ve personally found it’s the confidence. If you act confident enough then everyone presumes you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re in control, no matter how out of place you look.

I’ll drink to that!

Wait, in what situation would you have learnt this!?!

Nerd: I have a bad habit of accidentally going to the wrong class and just going along with it rather than anything else. Although I should say I did fantastic in that architectural history class. But this habit has caused some awkward situations. I have also impersonated a store manager to explain why me and my friend were there when really he ran into the warehouse searching for a kitten.

HAH

That’s brilliant

Using your nerdy powers to overthrow society.

Does this mean you’re a liar?

Nerd: I call it ‘managing life’.

HAH

Sounds about right.

Why are you awake at this time?

Nerd: I could ask you that.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #remus sanders #My writing #roman sanders #patton sanders #Janus Sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #group chat fic #fluff

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misterbitches · 3 years

Text

what i like abt muren and li chen

i’m sorta burned out and my vagina is bleeding so lemme see if i can type this. probably can lmao. my brain is going ten miles a minute.

1. the fact that they were friends first.

someone on here said this and idk who but i don’t want to seem like it was my idea.

the fact that they are friends and didn’t have like a connection previously and it developed. most times friends-to-lovers has a basis of some sort of romantic interest from another person so they were not truly ever friends, you know? and many relationships people aren’t friends first but that’s the best kind. and they are the truest form in that (i wouldnt say truest means good but just i think a representation of) they were truly friends, no attraction at least consciously, and were lead into it.

2. bc they know each other well and are friends they know each other and LAUGH and if you can’t laugh with your love then there is no point. 0. lmao. i love it

idk they fell easily in2 the luvy duvy part and u can actually believe they are into each other like outside of kissing. gee. also hello! when lichen like threw the heart in the office and muren caught it? bitch! i woulda been like ew!!!!! and blushed but muren was like that’s right that’s my bitch

3. bouncing off 2 um uhhhhh the way they interact so i guess this is 2 but whatver i like lists now

muren is >:O but super sweet and receptive to others. so he responds to people and it isn’t just stoic for stoic sake or with not much substance. idk how to say this but oftentimes sometimes i feel like characters will be too oppositional to offset their partner and it can be extremely annoying to watch because it’s part of the dynamic but sometimes there’s a lack of reciprocation. i like that even if muren is quiet he smiles a lot and lets people know through his actions and shit. esp his mans. and when he needs to talk, he will.

lichen is perfect for this because of reasons. what do you even say about this dude holy shit. first of all he really is a fucking himbo. he’s not even dumb he’s just a fucking himbo. it’s great to say the way they express their excitement and the best thing to hear, “i can be myself around you”

4. u cannnot tell me that this top/bottom discourse is actually not ridiculous esp for them bc there is no way that my eyes are seeing what i see yet there’s some struggle when they’re trying to constantly grapple with the masculine/feminine aspects (this is a good thing)

with the way that they hang off each other. esp bc lichen is shorter than him and stockier and he can attach himself like a barnacle. the way he expresses glee and love is very “feminine” at times IE reliance, support, putting your head on his etc but then there are times when he is the one to hold muren too. so it’s like they are clearly on the same level in how they exchange love and stuff and exploring the dynamics but it clearly isnt as structured as the usual ones and it shouldnt be so they should just stop talking about this shit cos ur both getting fucked god shut up

lichen squeals like a girl and is obsessed with him. he is clingy and also says “what do you want to do to me.” if this show is gonna sit us through the agony of this stupid discourse and they tell me they arent gonna sw*tch or whatever (not that they cant have other forms of sex bc that is not that difficultand as adults w eknow this but anywaaay) then they simply are wrong

5. the ~gay 4 u~ thing is dumb and i cannot believe it tbqh cos it’s like sir....but i am glad that lichen like expresses attraction to his physique and personhood as a man and acknowledging that that is something and a part of the attraction.

it was probably a happy accident but it’s still a good one. there’s sometimes an idea of like sexual attraction being sorta nebulous when someone is like getting into a rship with the same gender but not being sure about their sexuality or whatever or still liking another gender explicitly where they cant admit they find things attractive or enticing even when they are in a same sex relationship and it is so fucking confusing and doesn’t make sense. i wish instead of trying to make it cut and dry they just went honestly mabye they dont know but theyre both men and thats a factor. ok lets move on now. :)

6. they make u feel nice

especially in comparison to the show being messy and also there’s some crazy stalker man running around you know they temper that

they’re just really fun to watch. it’s an interesting dynamic and particularly with xing si in their lives it’s nice and i’m so glad there’s no one else to ruin it like say a brother who is a waste of space. but it’s mostly good feelings for them and you can see why they like each other, that they can stay together, and how helpful a relationship can be as you grow as an individual

7. while i am sure there will be further misunderstandings...comm...unic...ation?

literally boys are dumb as hell but idk if my reading is correct on this one but SO FAR TO MOI im like wow u guys like actually talk. woah. and i think that’s nice. yest i had a breakdown in front of my fam bc i am sometimes emotionally stunted when faced with distress so it’s nice to see people talking that out in particularly with like jealousy and stuff

AND their interactions in public and the understanding. knowing it takes time and stuff for them to adjust and allowing them the time. they are extremely different to other people and they want to be distinct and they can be and arre to each other they dont need to follow anyone else’s rules (except the costume department sometimes needs to get better pants for muren like that’s my rule tbh but that’s neither here nor there)

did some1 call them emotional support himbos? i think so cos word.

oh one more thing idk the name of the actor playing li chen and im too tired to look it up but i like him a lot i think he does a good job of going seamlessly between like a jubilant person and an actual human being. he plays well at being oblivious but not outright stupid and emotionally stunted or not picking up certain signals. i think at times it seems like he doesn’t always have a sense of self like trying to be something else for other people but then he realizes like he can’t do that so all he can do is be himself which leads him 2 his mans but yea. the actor does a decent job! it’s a fun character to wathc

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #muren x lichen

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literaphobe · 4 years

Text

season three of she-ra rated by catradora content

the price of power: adora talks about how she thinks the others at the horde can change too and when u think about it in the “at this point in the story, she still hoped catra would change” way it’s like wow :’) we knew that but wow :’) it sucks tho that in this scenario she’s actually wondering specifically if shadow weaver can change, which :/ hm :/ bc shadow weaver sucks. adora really fucking called her out on her abuse tho which is so sexy, and yes that has nothing to do with catradora i just felt like i really wanted to mention it at least <3 shadow weaver is a loserrrr <3 but.... she does mention “catra betrayed me” which makes adora do her “oh, catra?👀” eyebrow raise. i swear she cannot keep a straight fucking face whenever someone mentions catra. it’s like. are you lgbt or something? :/ 2/10

huntara: no catra this episode, but adora’s reaction to huntara will forever go down as one of her stupidest gay moments. u think catra knew super huge buff ladies were adora’s type? how fucking funny would it be if catra thought she never stood a chance with adora not because of the internalized homophobia shadow weaver instilled in them but simply because she thought she was not tall and buff enough for adora’s taste. “adora doesn’t want me!!!!! not like i want her..... because i’m not swole😔” 0/10

once upon a time in the waste: very funny and sexy of catra 2 be like. hm. i was sent here to die. i have completely given up on my hopes and dreams. oh wait what did you say? she-ra?😏 and she was blonde?👀 she’s got a sword?😩 she was angry?😽 her name is adora?👅 and all of a sudden catra is like nope existential crisis over. i’m gay again. and also evil again. that mix culminates in her giving a sexy monologue. did you know that if you’re gay and evil you will give very sexy monologues? and also sword lesbians will fall in love with you despite your questionable morals? anyway, catra takes over the whole of the crimson waste. i won’t discuss how since technically it doesn’t involve catradora but it was really hot okay😔 also adora was being really hot and powerful and fearless (she did not even flinch as bats flew in her face. hello?) and Angery this ep but i will also not get into it😩 i will however remark upon how both catra and adora low key had meltdown monologues this ep, and it is :( but also hot and cool of them. now, i will move onto when they meet <3 catra starts slow clapping as her goons creep onto mara’s ship and poison dart the best friend squad. they only send three darts flying and the last one is blocked by huntara. we have to assume that catra only ordered her team to send three darts for huntara, bow, and glimmer, leaving adora for last because catra has to greet her with, and let’s say it all together—“hey, adora😼”. adora tries to make a run for her sword but catra uses her new sexy cool whip to take it away. “i think this might be the quickest i ever won a fight. always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, adora?” adora tells huntara to save bow and glimmer first, leaving adora as catra’s only prisoner. 👀👀👀👀 soon after, everyone is celebrating, and catra sits in the big chair on mara’s ship like it’s a throne, casually draped over with adora’s sword in her hand, the long blade just resting between her legs. and. hooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooiiiiii. let me just. let me just have a second over here okay folks? this is all very hard for my sexuality to take. i don’t think u all realize how hard it is to make these evaluations. every day i have a breakdown over how hot one of them is. it’s one thing to just watch the show but every time something gay happens (so like, every five seconds) i gotta pause it and take notes (by take notes i really mean start ranting about it like this) and then i gotta like rewind it and shit to double check and i have to force myself to just be repeatedly subjected to the gayness. starting to get a little homophobic tbh! okay back to the show. catra is so fucking sweet and makes everyone cheer scorpia on too. she breaks out into this beautiful giggle. oh my god her laugh. bitches falling for this catgirl left and right smh. catra grabs scorpia’s claw and drags her away from the party. we also find out this is when catra learns about what a party is. remember how adora didn’t know what a party was either? :( damn. they deserve to have absolute ragers ok. catra starts talking about how valued and cool she will be when they go back and show hordak the sword, etc, and scorpia is like. but what if we didn’t do that. what if we just stayed here and had a gay life. a good honest gay life filled with sick parties and gang leading. and catra is like oh right.... u have a point..... i do hate the horde...... wonder why that is.... and then scorpia makes a fatal mistake. she says “forget adora!” which is about the dumbest thing you can tell a self destructive catgirl who’s been in love with adora her whole life but also kinda resents her atm. and catra is like perhaps i don’t want to forget adora. did u consider that scorpia? did you not think about how i crave her lips upon my mouth every night? fuck u im gonna go uh... find adora n maybe tie her up even more idk >:( catra goes to “check on the prisoner”, according to her own words. what does that mean, catra. like what. ur gonna go see if adora wants some tea? something 2 eat?👅 someone to kiss? Fkskdjdjdj adora is obviously struggling against her restraints and trying to break free, and the second she sees her she goes “catra, you can’t do this! >:(“ and catra is like “well, hello to you, too.” because MANNERS, adora, like god damn it catra always puts in the tender loving care and effort to greet you and you can’t even say hello? :( catra dismisses the goon who was previously guarding adora, because when you.... talk to your..... best friend turned enemy who’s now your prisoner. ur gonna want some privacy ya know😌😩👀😔 anyway catra is like ok.... once again.... y can’t i do this. and adora is like more horde army might come in!!! which. adora baby i love you but maybe don’t make that the thesis statement of your sales pitch? to the person who was second in command at the horde?? not to nitpick but if i were u i would’ve just said “noooooo don’t open a portal that might destroy reality ur so sexy ahaha” OR “if u give me back my sword and decide NOT to rip apart the fabric of this dimension i’ll kiss you on the mouth❤️” i know that u think ur feelings are one sided and that catra isn’t in love with you and that you can’t seduce her to the bright side💔 but u actually could have 💔 fkdkdjdjdj moving on.... catra says “never a dull moment with you❤️” which is weirdly so romantic. like yeah they’re enemies but catra gets bored when adora isn’t around. life is always exciting when adora is there, in catra’s eyes :’( like damn bitch if you like her so much why don’t you just marry her haha. please? <3 adora continues to explain that we will ALL lose if hordak opens a portal, light hope and mara said that opening a portal will endanger everyone!! and catra says the funniest thing. “you’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? you should really try to get over that. :/“ LFKDKFKDKFKFKFJ GIRL YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUNNY. but then adora says the wrong thing :( she brought up you know who and said “shadow weaver told me” and catra.... :( she’s like. how did. she tell you. and adora’s voice goes soft and it’s like “you didn’t know?” because from what she knows catra is allegedly the one who betrayed shadow weaver, not the other way around. and catra grabs adora by the collar and pulls her in and adora gets this gasp and. let me just scream for five minutes. okay. i’m back. so. catra pulls her in and she’s like HOW. and adora just very slowly and cautiously tells her the truth. that shadow weaver is in bright moon. and :( catra :( she lets go of adora and comes to this. very destructive realization that shadow weaver “left her” for adora and that all the pain she’s felt is all Because Of Adora. that, just by being adora, everything, all the happiness that catra could have had, has been taken away. which she is wrong about but that’s what she thinks :( and adora realizes that this is. not good. and she gently goes “catra?” because the look on her face must be worrying to adora, and catra starts to walk away and adora desperately calls out to her. “catra, please, you have to listen!” but...... it’s too late :( and catra is enveloped by the darkness. 9/10 for the collar grabbing shit and just the inherent gayness of their connection and interactions but also this is all so sad bros :( my bros are all devastated

moment of truth: catra walks back into the horde with her arm around adora’s shoulder. hm! Hm! HM! really doesn’t feel like she needs to do that! but she’s doing it anyway! later on, entrapta and adora are alone and talking. “catra would say anything to get whatever she wants.” true, but also not true, adora. she wants to be your gf, but has she said anything about it? no :/ that’s in like 2 seasons. and you were literally about to die so she low key had nothing to gain. so :/ think carefully next time. fjsjfjsjdjdjd entrapta pulls out the funniest cutest bar graphs of data, and there’s like four categories and for some reason catra has low scores for the first three but a really high score for the last one? i desperately want to know what that is. adora says “look, i understand. catra was my friend, too.” and she casts her eyes to the side when she says this. as if.... that statement is a lot more loaded than it seems. because yes catra was adora’s friend. but also wasn’t she, at the same time, so much more than that? yes <3 it was because they were best friends <3 gal pals <3 “but she makes bad decisions. this is one of them.” :( yeah i mean what am i supposed to do. disagree with that? it’s so wild to think about how even through all of this adora never hated catra. arguably, she never stopped loving her either. which. sigh😔 pour one out boys we are yearning tonight! entrapta leaves the room, asking adora if she’ll try to escape. and adora is like “no?👀” which is irrelevant but also really funny. another irrelevant thing i want to bring up is catra when she’s losing in a fight against shadow weaver. “so, what? you’re on the side of good now? you made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?” bro. fucking.... bro. catra’s lines istg.... also her being able to take on gang leaders and princesses and take those people down easily but to lose so quickly to shadow weaver... y’all know what that is right :( sigh. wait. i’m not done let’s sit very sadly on this next line for a bit. “do you know what happened to me after you escaped? do you even care?” i’m gonna cry okay. right. back to catradora. catra is. really unhinged and devastated and destructive right now :( and so she marches into entrapta’s lab and demands that they fire up the portal machine. entrapta says they can’t, because “adora was right” and immediately that sets catra off. she gives this barely restrained chuckle and is like “adora is right.....” and she’s just. having a full on breakdown. she’s just filled with so much anger and resentment.... i can’t even joke and call it a hate boner man, and that sucks because i would love to call it a hate boner :( “adora gets EVERYTHING she wants” no catra, you are wrong. she wants you. she does not have you. case closed. adora has literally only truly wanted one thing in her life, and she does not have it because you won’t give it to her 😔 in conclusion, adora p much never gets what she wants :( why don’t you go over and hug her and then maybe you’ll calm down. i know it’s more complicated than that but still😔 anyway, catra is very determined to not let adora win, so in order to beat adora, she decides they have to open the portal no matter what, because that’s the one thing adora seems to not want right now. some very not chill stuff happens, and catra runs into hordak’s lab and demands that he opens the portal. she lies to hordak and says “oh you can’t trust anyone, especially a PRINCESS” and she turns over to glare pointedly at adora. which is. SUCH a bitter ex thing to do. “they’ll just use you to get what they want” CATRA SHE LOVES YOU :( SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU SHE ONLY EVER WANTED TO BE WITH YOU :( and also she was raised to think she only had worth if she did what others expected of her and that everyone’s happiness and safety was somehow her responsibility. and that it would be better for her to die than for others to get hurt. she was never trying to use you :( you were the only thing that ever made her selfish :( bow, glimmer, and shadow weaver run in and fight with hordak and catra, and catra realizes she has to pull the lever now or it’ll be too late. adora desperately yells “catra, please, don’t!” and catra looks at her for a last time, evil smirking before she does it. roll credits. 8.5/10

remember: oh, we’re really in it now huh :( we hear the last lines from catra and adora from the last episode, and i think this is a part of adora’s dream. she is woken up by catra gently saying her name <3 then by catra a little bit angrily saying her name fjsjdjdjd adora wakes up with a shock and catra is sitting on top of her. HHHHHH. okay. adora shoves catra off and catra is like ???? damn what usually u pull me closer and hug me when i wake u up😔😔 wtf. but catra grabs adora’s wrists to calm her down anyway and gives her this pretty reassuring look, and she jokes “heh, since when do you sleep in? u usually wake up early to flirt with me!” as we all know adora gets nightmares even from her days in the horde so catra just treats this as normal and tries to make adora feel better as usual. ground her and say lighthearted things to make adora remember that she is safe. i mean technically the universe is collapsing in on itself rn so making adora feel safe isn’t the Best thing to do but catra also thinks the fake reality IS reality atm so that’s not her fault <3 adora is confused about how she got “here” and catra finds this strange because adora is in her room! she has her own room now, because she’s force captain! which makes u wonder whether catra and adora would sleep in the same bed if adora was force captain. would catra creep in and sleep in her bed still? would they lock the door and cuddle? oh well! guess we’ll never know! they... are so soft here, just smiling at each other, catra worried about adora, adora smiling back and deciding to just dismiss what happened as a weird dream. “there was something i needed to fix...” “of course you dream about work. there’s nothing to fix adora. everything’s perfect.” hhhh i know everyone in the fake reality thinks Everything’s Perfect too but can we just be gay for a second and think about how a perfect life for catra is just... to be with adora. can we just chomp down on that meaty thought for a sec? :( ok anyway, catra puts her hand on adora’s shoulder and adora smiles and is like wow ur right :) this does feel pretty perfect i mean catra and i are in bed together what could be so wrong💞😜😘👅😎😩 catra pulls adora up to her feet and says “come on, get up” and adora is perfectly happy to just chase after catra. it’s so fucking unfortunate tho that she decides at the last second to pick her ugly ass jacket up. like baby, no. u look perfectly hot as is in that white top. but she needs the jacket to see her force captain badge so she can get Visions or whatever. like goddamn i know the world was collapsing in on itself but imagine if shadow weaver had never been like abusive and the horde was just some chill ass ugly hangout spot instead of a fascist regime. catra and adora really could’ve just been happy huh? :( anyway catra gets kinda annoyed that her gf is not chasing after her any more and instead putting on her ugly ass jacket and looking at it in the mirror. so she’s like “adora! :(“ and adora goes running. she always comes when catra calls for her😌😌😌😌 and then the opening credits play, giving me whiplash. wow that was such a gay fucking cold open. adora walks side by side with catra and is a little weirded out by all the people saluting her and shit. and she’s like lmao wtf what are they all looking at and catra is like u u beautiful idiot. ur hot, and also the invasion of thaymor that u led went perfectly❤️ ur the hero of the hour i’m so proud of you babe❤️ catra is just a proud happy gf who smiles so beautifully and adora is getting more Visions and Flashbacks. but catra is so hot when she’s proud of her that adora decides that she’s gonna be like YEAH OMG I DID THAT WAR CRIME RIGHTS <3 and salutes people like a fucking idiot. and catra does the whole flirty “oh please, you couldn’t have done it without me ;)” bit and wraps her gay arm around gay adora who looks like she’s in heaven, hilariously pushing adora down a bit because catra is SHORT FJSJDJDJD and adora is like “rightttt ;) what would i ever do without you ;)” and man to be a horde soldier witnessing their flirting. i would start yelling slurs at them immediately. adora elbows catra with her arm and they both laugh, but the force causes catra to bump into a horde soldier. and the soldier makes the fatal mistake of reacting normally and being like HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING TWERP and catra is not amused. adora puts her hands on her hips, glaring at the soldier, and he immediately gets so fucking scared. and the soldier is like UHUHUH FORCE CAPTAIN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE— I’M SO SORRY. didn’t know she was what? DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS WHAT???? gay????? banging this angry catgirl????? in the middle of flirting with her??????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. what does it ALL mean?????? and adora is just like YEAH U BETTER BE >:( disMISSED >:( like fucking WHAT?????? yeah how dare u get mad at my gf for bumping into you. it is YOUR fault for existing while we were roughhousing as part of a very intricate ritual. u ruined the FLOW of our flirting u jackass. u fucking bitch. now we gotta start all over again :( and then like the soldier leaves while v terrified and keeps bowing at them and catra and adora just bursts out laughing at each other. they’re that lesbian couple who will bully u in school and feel zero remorse for it. that is so fucking sexy. i wish that were me. catra proceeds to make fun of the soldier she bumped into and didn’t even apologize to all “oh, force captain, don’t hurt me! UHAHASHUAH” and adora plays along with the re-enactment by posing and acting tough. catra really do be flexing her privilege as gf of everyone’s boss huh. she’s that secretary who WILL spit in your coffee and kick you in the shin all because the CEO is in love with her and they’re like slamming ass. catra is like. just straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that she’s untouchable because adora is in love with her. that’s just. that’s just greaaat. they both start laughing again at their own jokes. and yeah they’re both pretty funny people but like ok lesbians. have fun being happy or whatever. catra is like “too good” and adora is like hehehe baby!!!! where are we going again and catra is like to the locker room!! there’s something i wanna show you😘😘😘 because you know they’re in love. them just walking down a corridor together feels like a straight up date. adora thinks they’re taking The Long Way instead of this shortcut she knows with a side door but that door is gone and suddenly this throws Doubt again. and i guess that door got swallowed up by the reality-collapsing portal but damn adora :/ what’s wrong with taking the long way? :/ too good to spend some quality time w ur gf? :/ JFJSJDJ anyway catra is like what? no this way is the right way :) the scene can be read as cute gfs who argue about directions even tho it’s just a walk to the locker room ❤️ i wouldn’t say it’s the right way to read the scene bc the point is that parts of reality as adora knows it is disappearing but shhh. i am gay <3 catra immediately starts worrying about adora again and she’s like DO U HAVE A CONCUSSION :( and like grabs adora’s face which is so cute. she also accidentally shoves adora towards her chest so adora has No Choice but to stare :) good for you adora “i know you get hit on the head a lot” JFKSKDKSJDJD man but catra gf goals tho :( get u a girl who will check if u have a concussion because you get hit on the head a lot, most of it accidents 😩😩😩 “but i figured your dumb little hair poof would cushion the blow” HDHJSSHAHSHSHSH GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THO UR HAIR POOF IS DUMB😳😳😳 adora is a tiny bit >:( about being roasted for her hair choices and also a bit >:) because catra touched her and she’s like LMAOOO IM ALL CHILL M8 😩👌🏻💅🏻😎 “don’t make me kick your butt” as she shoves catra. wow adora! watch where you’re putting your hands! jk i know i know :) you simply have no choice because the only place to shove someone is to push their tiddies :) i understand and approve :) catra responds to adora’s threats with “pft ;) as if you could” which is just yet another invitation for them to “fight” :). u know how i feel about catradora and their roughhousing? it’s like. u know how people talk about men fighting each other as an excuse to touch? i feel like catradora said yeah that’s ours now. and they’re right. it’s theirs. they literally. they fucking giggle and shit as they start shoving and hitting each other all the way to the locker room. and lonnie is like SURPRISE and adora’s reaction is so funny she legit looks like she got mad p*ssy blocked and she’s like the FUCK. and catra isn’t as mad bc she kind of like planned this cute like i love you adora❤️ surprise party. because it’s a surprise party! for adora! adora is like damn whats this?? grey ration bar cake w my face drawn on it? also from the looks of the drawing i feel like catra definitely drew it. isn’t that so fucking cute. adora hugs lonnie (yay) and kyle (what the fuck gross???) and she’s like u guys 😩😩😩u got the gray kind.... that’s way better than the brown kind.... lonnie is like “hey, it was catra’s idea!” implying that catra definitely specifically told them to make the cake out of the gray ration bars, not the brown ones. and adora. let’s all take a deep breath. she goes. “oh yeah? ;)” in the most. insufferably flirty way ever. like in that Wow This Was All You Huh ;) way, with her stupid hands on her stupid hips giving catra this 😏😏😏😏😏😏 look. and catra is like ;) casually leaning against the wall, her arms all crossed. it is interesting to note that adora keeps putting her hands on her hips and catra keeps crossing her arms. i think that’s really cute. catra says “eh, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it” but it is a big deal catra. u don’t just plan cute surprise parties for anyone. and the fact that this is YOU we’re talking about? for catra planning a thoughtful surprise party catered to adora’s tastes all because she’s proud of her accomplishments..... is on par with proposing marriage. adora won’t let catra live this down tho. “wow, i can’t believe you like me ;) that is so embarrassing for you!” and she grabs catra for head scratches. catra giggles and pushes against adora saying “stop it😳😳(no don’t stop bro don’t stop😩😩) get off 🙄🙄 (wait actually don’t get off😩😩) this is not 😡 because i like you😳😳(it’s because i love you💞)” and she shoves adora off only to IMMEDIATELY pounce on adora, making adora laugh so fucking happily. kyle is secretly a lesbophobe tho so when he sees this gay display he’s like WUUUUOHOH I DROP CAKE :( and we get this VERY quick frame of catra and adora with their fingers interlocked before they pull apart at the crash and look at kyle. that is so fucking rude of u kyle. we could’ve gotten a few more seconds of catra and adora interlacing their fingers but NO. fuck u. thankfully, the euphoria of being gay is still burning strong for catra and adora, so they laugh happily instead of beating the shit out of kyle. how sweet <3 adora sees the word MARA in one of the cake pieces, and she’s very thrown off right before catra holds her shoulder and is like “hang on, you got something right... THERE!” and she like throws grey bar sludge into adora’s face ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 u know? how you pal around with your gals? adora rubs the grey cake stuff off her face, and then.... ugh i don’t even wanna say her name. we were all having such a good gay time :( [redacted] walks in and tells adora to get off the floor, and tells catra to get herself cleaned up. and [redacted] tells adora to come with her. adora gazes gayly upon catra’s face who gives her a reassuring smile that tells adora she’s okay, so adora runs along. catra looks lovingly at adora while she walks away. shadow weaver praises adora’s successful war crime and adora is like i couldn’t have done it without the others aka catra <3 and in this fake reality she succeeded in persuading shadow weaver to let catra come with her! adora goes to the force captain briefing and gets roasted by scorpia because scorpia is still like. jealous of adora because you know..... you know how you hate the person your crush is in love with? yeah <3 adora freaks out because the universe is falling apart and she keeps getting visions from her real life. and then catra appears, and all the weirdness stops for a moment. i think it is so interesting how the world starts falling apart faster when catra isn’t there, but when catra is there things in the fake reality start to look and feel a little more normal. it’s like.... catra and adora’s connection is so strong that when they’re together... they can stabilize the collapse of a reality. just for a little while. just to have a little more time together. their gay levels are THAT strong. they’re like level 5000 lesbians. and they just keep leveling up as the show goes on which is why by s5 they can defeat an intergalactic conquerer just by making out LMAOOOOO anyway. catra is very worried about her wife. she’s all “adora, what is wrong?” yeah she’s so worried she doesn’t even use a contraction. adora takes out the slip of paper and shows it to catra. “did you write this?????” and catra looks at it and is like “did i write a blank piece of paper? i’m gonna go with no.” which. KFKDKFKDKFKDKFFJ BROOOO WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY. it’s like not supposed to be funny because adora is having a meltdown but it’s so fucking funny i—moving on. adora starts properly freaking out and catra is like hey :( u ok omg :( calm down :( and she puts her hand on adora’s shoulder but adora swats it away like I CAN’T CALM DOWN :( and she starts rambling and referencing stuff that happened and this vision of catra betraying adora in promise shows up (i think it’s catra’s memory?????) and catra slaps adora. which. HEY :( but also it’s like very funny. and adora is like ow :( what was that? :( and catra is like sowwy!!!! :( u were freaking out!!!! and it was freaking me out!!!!! :( and adora is like well u didn’t have to Slap Me :(((((( and is like why would my evil catgirl gf do this. have i not loved her enough :( is this the thanks i get for loving her with my entire heart :( and catra grabs her arm and is like come on!!!! let’s get you outside!!!! you need some air :) and oh. oh man. oh to have my hand/arm lovingly held by a girl as she giggles and excitedly drags me somewhere. the fucking dream. adora protests against getting air which (??????) u don’t want air? but u need air? to breathe? i know adora is just trying to say she doesn’t need to like go to her and catra’s secret place at the highest edge of the horde but then oh guess what? she’s there with catra. and adora is like how did we get here.... and catra looks depressed because her gf is losing it and that’s so sad 😔 she’s like how did we get here? we climbed up :( like we always do :( or am i the only one who remembers that :( and adora is like idk what’s happening to me :( it’s like i’m losing my mind..... and catra is like you just need to relax <3 by hanging out with me <3 and adora is like ur probs right :( am fine :( everything fine :( and she gets this glimpse of catra and catra smiling evilly at her but catra gets up and is like huh! ofc im right! Everything’s Perfect! soon, the two of us are gonna be ruling etheria together, just like we always planned 😺😸😹😻😼😽😾🙀 and quietly, adora goes “is that what you really want? to rule the world?” and catra gets this UHHHHH look akin to when someone asks u “hey, do you like apples? or are you just gay for me?” and you gotta awkwardly answer “what.... nooooo..... i’m not gay i fucking love apples” and so catra gets the exact face that expresses this sentiment and she’s like “i mean, yeah, obviously. isn’t that what you want too?” and it’s like UGHHHH because clearly neither of them want to rule the world! ruling the world was just an excuse for catra to be with adora, and when adora inevitably says “hey maybe we shouldn’t rule the world” catra will take it to mean “i don’t want to be with you” instead of “ruling the world is bad” and it’s just. it really tears me the fuck up bros! when catra says don’t you want to rule the world too? she really means don’t you want to be with me? and it’s just. HHHHHHHHH. i can NOT. i have had it up to HERE. adora says “i don’t know (re ruling the world lmao i went on a tangent earlier)” and catra is like “don’t flake out on me now!” like ruling the world is meeting up for lunch and suddenly adora texted at 11:30 am that she’s not really feeling up to it today :/ “this is what we always wanted”, catra continues to say, and we all know that “this” is..... the freedom to be with each other, without everything else getting in the way. “everything will be perfect as long as we stay together”. and she is right about that. but also catra’s current definition of them “staying together” isn’t right. adora and catra were always supposed to meet halfway. they will both have to grow to do that. but let’s not get 2 deep😩 i am here to have meltdowns and make gay jokes only😌 and then adora says “what if we don’t stay together? what if it all goes wrong?” which is like. damn that’s the show right there KFKSJDJSJDJ and adora sees lightning again and she gets upset because why can’t catra see the reality-cracking lightning too!!!! why can’t catra see the light!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be doing good things and not evil things!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be coming with me, running away with me, being with me in a place that’s safe!!!!! and catra grabs her hand and is like “adora!!! stay with me, okay? :( you’re just seeing things. it’s all in your head” and it is all so terribly tragic and sad. ah, the age old argument. come with me, stay with me. i will be whispering this in decades’ time, spreading gay tales to my loved ones. after this, lonnie is calling for adora and catra. “thought we’d find you up there” FJSJDJSJDJD the way it’s just like an open secret that catra and adora are gay and have a gay hangout spot where they do gay things. incredible. adora finds out an entire week has passed all of a sudden and she grips her head in frustration and catra is like adora? :( and holds her in concern. and adora is like ranting about how there’s something wrong with space and time!! and catra is just freaked out and begging her to stop because adora please! please stop finding the destruction of reality weird and hold my hand! i haven’t been happy since the day you left! and.... hoo okay sadness. catra’s holding her arm and adora’s like we’re not supposed to be here!!! catra holds her upper arms and goes “adora, everything’s okay!” and adora snaps and tells her to stop saying that! because this isn’t right! because she will lose everything, including catra, if she does not fix this. “everyone keeps telling me everything is perfect but it’s not! everyone except... scorpia” so she runs away to find her and catra is like adora!!! adora, where are you going? please don’t go. don’t go where i can’t follow😔😔 but adora is gone. we get this whole thing with scorpia and adora and adora is straight up just so petty. about scorpia hating her. which mood because i want everyone to like me. all the time. but also adora in scorpia’s defense she has a crush on a certain catgirl who will Not Shut Up about you :/ adora gets flashbacks about catra and realizes that the girl she’s been inappropriately touching for the past.... day? is the one who did the thing that is destroying reality❤️ LMAOOOOO this would be like... hm actually not many situations available to describe this. except. have you been flirting with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? have you been in love with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? yeah stuff like that <3 “catra did this. she captured me, she took... the sword. she activated the portal!” LFKSKDKSKDKDK you know what? this would be 58384848484 times funnier if they had canonically banged during the fake reality before adora realized the world as they all knew it was about to end <3 and you know what? they did bone. but it was cut for time <3 KFKDKDKDK JKJK god i need to like shut up for once in my life. but if i did that, these evaluations which no one asked for would not exist❤️ adora loses scorpia and razz (temporarily) and lonnie and she finds catra again! even tho she now remembers that catra kidnapped her and took her sword and used it for the portal and activated her portal.... she immediately grabs catra and pulls her along with her. despite knowing all that..... for the moment she is acting on instinct and doesn’t care. she just wants to keep catra with her and keep catra safe because the portal is swallowing up so many people and she cannot lose catra. adora drags her to this weapons closet that closes behind them and catra, instead of kissing her in this enclosed space (WIMP), shakes her and is like hey! you’ve officially lost it, haven’t you? and adora is like listen, we have to go. now! scorpia, lonnie, kyle, rogelio, they’re all gone! but catra is like what are you talking about? who’s gone? and adora’s all they’re gone. there’s nothing left. and we’ll be next if we don’t get out of here right now. and she’s so firm about it putting her entire foot down because No. not catra. she Cannot lose her. but catra is so stuck in wanting some part of all this to be real that she’s arguing with adora that she’s not making sense and Everything Is Fine. and adora goes “don’t say it’s Perfect. i know it’s not perfect and so do you!” because... she just knows catra that well. and she knows catra is smart enough to see what’s going on if scorpia did that too. catra’s choosing to repress it all, but adora’s words snap catra into memory for a moment, and she remembers it, maybe even remembers it all, and i think.... it all just hurts too much and she’d rather not be in that reality so she acts like she doesn’t know a thing and tells adora she’s not going anywhere. frustrated because she can’t convince catra, adora picks up one of the stun barons and... tases catra KFKSKDKDKDKSKDK and i can’t help but think of when catra tased adora back in sword part 2 (1x02) and man that is not good but also so funny that they’ve both tased each other. there’s this desperation there in both instances that we should definitely not romanticize at all but they just. deep down they will just do close to anything to keep the other with them. and it is messed up! and i’m glad that a little ways down the road they unlearn this but also.... wow. adora catches catra tenderly in her arms as she slumps against her, literally fucking BRIDAL CARRYING catra out and running away from the crumbling horde. literally IMAGINE IF LIKE. catra did not wake up and fight with adora. imagine if catra had stayed passed out longer and adora had fixed the portal without anyone getting left behind. and catra was still unconscious and she like walks out of the portal back into where they all were with catra in her arms like that. just like hey i fixed the portal :) all of us nearly died and it was kind of partially this catgirl’s fault but i’m like low key desperately in love with her so can we keep her? lmao :-) anyway. adora steals a skiff again (lmao first ep throw back! remember their date) and flies her and catra out of the crumbling world. catra wakes up, watching adora’s determined face as she flies them out and catra’s like WAIT WTF DIDN’T U TASE ME and is like hypocritically fighting adora trying to grab the stun baton. bad idea! adora’s DRIVING you don’t attack the driver!! but catra does not often make good decisions </3 the skiff crashes and they both fall off. they get up, look at each other angrily and run after the stun baton. catra grabs it first but adora hits it out of her hand and grapples catra who continues to keep reaching for the weapon. “catra, you can’t. we need to get as far from the fright zone as possible or we’ll be completely erased along with everything else.” “you think you can convince me by kidnapping me?” well no but goddamn the world is COLLAPSING catra PLEASE :( also is the power of love not enough? catra she loves you she’s in love with you she would pull you from the depths of hell even if you threw everyone in there in the first place!!!!!! that’s how deep this runs because that’s not even a metaphor adora has identified you as the main party who brought upon this reality ripping portal and still!!! she wants you saved. is that not fucking hot? :/ is that not sexy enough for you? :/ KFKSKDKSKDK jkjk okay catra continues with “what is wrong with you?!” and throws adora over her shoulder. not to like. ruin a very heated and serious moment in the show. but catra throwing adora like it’s nothing is like... very strong..... and when you remember how adora likes strong girls........ KFKDKDKDKDKDKDJ adora b like ow that hurts 😔 u free next friday? 😳 catra goes up to the stun baton again and adora kicks it away. “i won’t leave you behind again.” “why can’t you just stay? we have everything we ever wanted.” BITCH THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF. THERE’S A PORTAL EATING UP REALITY. STAY WHERE? “it’s not real, catra.” YES. save the world first, and then after this you can play rock paper scissors and the loser will go with the winner❤️ wouldn’t it be so funny if they did that. if they decided to leave it up to chance. if adora was like well the horde is evil but if you beat me in rock paper scissors i guess i will follow you wherever you go. and then they like fix the portal and everyone is like yay hey adora lets go back to bright moon! and she’s like yeah uh i gotta hash out this situation with my gf real quick uh just a little heads up i might be bringing the horde’s best strategist and leader over to our side OR i might be fighting for the bad people again :/ so wish me luck and everyone just had to stand there and watch as adora and catra held their hands out and went ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT anyway. “as much as i wish that things could be simple the way they used to be, there’s no going back.” and she holds catra gently and in many ways i think she’s sort of acknowledging that she really, really just wants that light hearted playful dynamic with catra back. they both just experienced it again. they both just threw themselves back into it again. and adora really wants to be happy with catra, she would stay with catra if she could, but she has overwhelming responsibilities and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that was instilled in her from a young age. and she thinks she shouldn’t get to choose her happiness, to put herself first. also like. THE HORDE IS EVIL DJSJDJSNDNSJS like. that’s a really important part too. it’s kind of hard for catra to distinguish that though because she’s had very. evil things done to her all her life. and she held on for so long because she thought adora would always be there with her but then adora walks away and makes it seem like. it could have been that easy. but it can’t have been that easy because if it was so easy why did catra have to suffer so much for? also adora didn’t run away to save catra. she had this destiny thrust upon her, and she chose to leave the horde before inviting catra along, which is not wrong of her at all, but it inevitably made catra feel like an afterthought. and now... things are kind of damaged. and catra just wants to run if adora won’t stay, so she shoves adora and takes off and adora lunges after her, tackling her, and adora decides to confront catra about the big elephant in the room, the thing she’s not said a thing about to catra until now when they’re fighting because she was so desperate to save catra before. “why did you do it?” “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” which is a lie but now that she really gets to see the consequences of her rage and anguish filled actions, i don’t think catra can properly explain it either. she was just so angry and she had built this narrative in her head that it was adora’s fault, and so she just wanted to do everything that adora didn’t want her to do. except u failed catra😔 adora wants you to love her and you do, you do love her😔 oopsie😔 you just don’t show it in healthy ways most of the time because your relationship is fraught with tragedy and abusive upbringings💔 adora gives up questioning catra for the moment because “there’s no time. we have to go.” catra grunts as adora’s childhood promise plays in her mind and it is overlaid with the adora of the present telling her “i promise, everything will be okay if we just stay together.” and goddamn adora really means it. she’s literally willing to patch everything up together even after everything if catra will just Decide right here, right now, to go with her. right then, the memory of adora first asking catra to come with her plays and adora is asking her, “help me fix this, please, this can’t be what you wanted” because adora knows! she knows how caught up catra was, in her pain and anger and desperation to win, to overcome all the times she lost growing up. she believed that catra, with her loving heart that saved adora everyday they knew each other growing up, could not have wanted to erase all of reality. to erase what they had. but just because adora knows that doesn’t mean catra does. all the rage and pain and resentment that led to her opening the portal, it is still there, and it is still affecting her judgement in a bad way, and by reminding her that she cannot just repress it all, that she cannot just play pretend with adora until their time is up,,,, this leads her to lash out again :( :( :( “don’t you get it? i am never going to go with you.” i wanna be like sad but also this bitch straight up LYING remember that other time she said “don’t you get it?” remember what came after that? so maybe catra in this moment is too angry and consumed by self hatred, too proud to admit she wants adora when she thinks adora doesn’t want her the way she wants her.... but “never”? lmaooooo ok :/ catra evil gay laughs and goes “you always have to go and ruin it, don’t you?” ruin what???? the illusion????? the pretenses you work so hard to keep to cover up how deep the feelings you both have run??? catra lunges for adora and fights with her, scratching and missing because adora is dodging and catra’s heart is too.... sigh..... she’s too fucking gay to really bring it ok? no matter how angry she is she still loves adora too much to give it her best. adora doesn’t fight back, mostly defending and pushing catra away. “catra, look what’s happening. you’re going to destroy everything!” catra stomped on her heart and she still wants to Convince her, which is really sad, for now, for both of them. and catra goes feral and is like “i don’t care! i won’t let you win. i’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.” :( bro? this song is so sad. can we change it? sigh. catra is too far gone at the moment. everything, even the slightest concession to adora, even at the expense of existence, is like admitting defeat to catra. and when catra says she’d rather see the whole world end than let adora win, she’s also saying she’d let herself... die. and that is just so sad. bro who gave season three the right. like... i am so exhausted. i am just trying to call some bitches out for being gay, i did not sign up for all this pain. i am so exhausted. this episode is twenty odd minutes or so. you know how many hours i’ve spent writing this? it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for being extra, but man i am so tired. i love seeing catradora interact, but god, at what cost? the portal rips up the ground between them, and catra grabs at adora, clutching onto her badge. i cannot tell if she was just trying to take it off or she wanted to grab adora and pull her close too. “catra, no!” adora grabs catra’s wrist but the badge falls off and catra falls too. “catra!” catra is on some rock in the falling heap, and adora reaches for her but she’s too far away. still, she keeps her hand outstretched. but catra, who’s hanging on by a rock at this point, gives her this look of... almost helplessness. that then hardens into resentment and anger and she just. lets go. and adora, who has tears in her eyes, is just. she absolutely crumbles here. and she runs a good distance away and falls to her knees and just starts SOBBING. she is just crying so hard over losing catra AGAIN and it’s just. That’s Too Much, Man! thankfully, razz shows up and is like stop crying bitch u can still save her ❤️ so adora decides to stop crying for all time and gets to work❤️ 10/10 but also did i ask? :/ yes i did and i am in so much pain right now. my god what an episode

the portal: it’s so fucking refreshing not seeing catradora for a bit <3 i spent hours watching remember ok. here i am now starting the last ep at least a full week later because of how much it was. sometimes this show is too gay <3 i love it tho! i do <3 it’s just hard having to pause and replay every five seconds and write an essay about the tiniest thing <3 and i know what you’re thinking <3 no one asked me to do this <3 no one asked me to be so extra <3 and yet <3 anyway, more than half of the ep passes with adora losing bow and glimmer in the end, but as she’s crying on her knees again she lifts her head up and corrupted!catra touches her forehead with one finger. oh <3 that’s gay <3 anyway, catra’s here because she died but she’s got like nine lives so she’s back now and infected by the collapsing portal. oh great! we get what is probably the most cursed ḩ̵͕̺̯͚̞͈̰̤͎̥̗̳͂̽̃̄͌̎̅̈́̏̎͘͝͝ẻ̷͇͚͈̤̪̖̜̥̥̱̼̅̒͌͗͝y̴̥̺̓͌͊͌̊͒͌̏̔̕͝ ̶̧̟̤̠̯̱̳͕̙̯̔ͅá̶̤͉͕̱̰̮̺̮̝̗̱̲͓̺̯̒͐͐d̵̨̟̖̦̈̑̄̌̍̆̀̾̊̑̽͗͝͠ȏ̷̧̢̨̞̮͇̟̘̘̠̼̊͆̐̉̉̀̌̿̚ͅŗ̴̢̬͚͉̦̘̪̜̥̑̔̈́̀̒͂͗͜͠ͅą̸̡̡͕͈͚͕̼͔̳͔̖̙̯̱̓͗̊́. the look on adora’s face when she’s greeted with this is very interesting. she gives catra this little once over. on one hand, catra isn’t gone like adora thought when she had lost her into the collapsing portal, but also something about this catra definitely doesn’t look right. catra then proceeds to slam adora into another dimension. flat against the bar table in the crimson waste... and ngl it looks like. catra slammed her on the table for :/ stuff :/ that’s like :/ you know :/ banging :/ and adora even looks around for a moment because catra isn’t there and adora’s thinking damn where u at catra? :/ so you didn’t slam me against this table for... no? :( we aren’t gonna slam ass? :( but then surprise surprise! catra straddles her at the last moment! adora gasps and catra is like oh... where are your friends? in that unsettling corrupted tone. notice how adora has been silent this entire time. so horny you couldn’t speak bitch? :/ sadly, catra lunges for adora and adora realizes that catra is still evil and that she isn’t going to kiss her gently on the lips after all 😔 adora grabs catra by the arm and pulls her close. she puts her other hand on catra’s shoulder. adora baby.... you don’t need to touch her with both hands. are you that gay? yes. why am i even asking that question. “catra, stop. you have to–“ catra pushes her face aside. “it’s always the same with you, adora. i have to do this, oh we have to do that!” and then they’re like gay struggling against each other? and catra pulls adora up and holds her tight against her, adora’s arm bent over catra’s shoulder to keep her there. then with her other arm she wraps her elbow around adora’s other arm to further restrain her? and then she puts her face right against adora’s cheek. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s just. homoerotic. damn the gays fight like this? catra then tosses adora aside and they land somewhere else. catra says like things to adora that are about her insecurities and stuff. but i’m not gonna get into those <3 isn’t that so sexy of me? instead i will say this. catra kind of like fights one sidedly with adora a lot in this segment where they go through various locations we’ve seen in the show, and she like talks a lot of shit. but let’s focus on how adora’s feeling <3 she goes through it like this. 1) not horny anymore! i’m scared/insecure/angry with catra now 2) catra throws adora into the big chair on mara’s ship and catra slams her hand against it next to adora’s face like how someone might do before you kiss them in movies 3) horny again 4) catra doesn’t say sorry for the mean things corrupted her said and she didn’t kiss her gently on the lips so adora gets her shit together and realizes all the things evil corrupted catra is saying is not her fault! she pushes catra away and is like “i didn’t make you pull the switch. i didn’t make you do anything! i didn’t break the world, but i am gonna fix it. and you? you made your choice. now live with it!” and in between all that she fights back against catra and at the end she does you know that punch we all know about. but after the punch she calms down from that emotional breakthrough high and gets this :( face. at the end of the day... no matter how far gone catra went, no matter how right she was in setting those boundaries and making it clear catra has to be responsible for her actions, adora cares. adora loves her, it’s the one thing she can’t help. and to see catra sink so deep into the darkness... it hurts her. adora watches catra disintegrate when they fall into the wormhole thing that the portal caused, and she has this like. >:( :( look because adora’s planning to fix everything anyway, the upsetting thing here for her is that she failed to make catra see sense. catra’s likely going back to the horde when all of this is over and there’s nothing adora can do about it. and at the moment i don’t think adora wants to try anymore after failing so many times... which is good for her! but also they are both going to be so sad after this </3 after the whole angella scene (miss that milf) adora gets the sword back and becomes she ra again. we go back to the scene in the horde and catra clutches the side of her face, so we know that was her but it also wasn’t Her, you know? like part of her face got corrupted by the portal and she just had to make sure she was real and whole again. adora comes back as she-ra and destroys the portal, prompting catra to escape. but she looks back at the last moment, looks back angrily, and adora gives her an equally hard stare. she’s done with catra, for the moment, and catra realizes this, and it kind of hits her that this adora is different now. and for a moment she is sad and afraid, but she pulls it together to make a mean face again, before running away. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this is so long i hate myself #please like this and find it funny #also feel free to discuss any of the concepts or scenarios or things or whatever i brought up in here #we are on catradora s3 evaluation lockdown!#also yes i started using emojis here which i did not use for s1 and s2 #have fun reading!#please rb this

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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LET ME HEAR THE VERSION OF MAXIMUM RIDE THAT LIVES IN UR HEAD RENT FREE

oh dear god are you gonna regret asking...

-fax is not a thing bc i hate cishets /j

-max bisexual transgirl who just talks about Women with fang bc they're gay best friends now.

-fang is autistic. and gay. a dumb boy kisser. he likes men. also a he/they user :] has a lot of food related sensory issues which sucks :/ also the feeling of skin rubbing against his drives him fucking crazy

-nudge is an enby transfem lesbian with adhd who will hyperfixate on basically any and every fashion trend she likes. uses she/they pronouns btw annnnd they once tried to steal a whole bunch of y2k fashion stuff from a store, which they wouldve gotten away with doing so had max not seen and then snatched their ass up 😔

-gazzy adhd combined type and he stims a lot with his wings !! also says poggers as a vocal stim idc if the series was set way before poggers was a thing, he says it.

-big man iggy is a pansexual transman with inattentive type adhd :] will hyperfixate on just about any tv show ever and will then go regurgitate that information to fang bc they info dump to each other on the reg. also iggy has lil dancey stims that he does while cooking bc i said so

-angel...i just think shes the type to commit arson. this has no place in my actual version of maxium ride but i just think she should commit arson at some point......

-i think the last like two books in the actual series (not the spinoff or whatever the fuck it is bc i havent read it still despite owning the book) should just not exist and instead they just get therapy and get to be real kids. like when they went to an actual school type beat but without the drama and almost dying and wacko science stuff

-also get rid of all the confusing sibling plotlines like the characters can stay but im just. fuck the weird sibling shit it's so unnecessary. the only siblings in this version are the dumbass bird children

-angel would be a gifted kid not even bc of the whole mind reading bit but just bc she's smart 🤷‍♀️ probably neurodivergent but i havent come up with any specifics

-max curb stomps a homophobe at some point for my own enjoyment

-fang keeps his long hair bc fuck you that's why /j (no but actually the long hair is a must in my version)

- ^ also. braids. everyone braids their hair bc they look pretty with them. they're a pretty boy, what can i say?

-gazzy gets weirdly into skater fashion at some point just bc

-nudge gets box braids and gets to be around other black people for once. also she uses aave

i think that's about it all the dumb shit i should share about this wack ass version i came up with literally ages ago to soothe my own growing anger towards that bitch of a series. had it not been for my own hyperfixation, she would be dead to me /hj

#shit self #asks #maximum ride #theres so much more but its all dumb and not actually that funny when i write it out ajsksk im so sorry #also hello canon username that scared me when i first saw it for some reason #fangs sensory issues are mine and also i may or may not have projected stims onto all the adhders #i just think nudge is a bit whitewashed in the series so as i black person i took it as my job to uh. give her some flavor #thats a /hj but also i just think nudge would use aave and have cute fuckn braids if given the chance so.#bangerz

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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Ok so Camille’s an asshole on that we can all agree, but I’m really tired of people in the fandom acting like she’s just your typical annoying ex and she makes poor uwu Alec feel insecure cause fuck that. Camille was 100% abusive and manipulative but I also think she was sexually abusive too I mean seeing what she did to Simon and kissing Magnus without his consent even though he was clearly uncomfortable, consent doesn’t really seem to be an issue for her-

I feel like she definitely manipulated his fear of loneliness and not being good enough, to suit her needs. Like Magnus isn’t in the mood for sex or it’s especially triggering on a certain day, either way he’s not up for it but Camille makes him do it anyway. She threatens to leave or go find someone else who can fulfill her needs or take care of her when Magnus won’t, ‘I mean does he even love her when he won’t do this one simple thing for her?’

So he just lets her do what she wants, even if he’s having a full blown panic attack Camille doesn’t care or she’ll just leave insulting him saying she can’t deal with this right now and leaving Magnus with no idea when or if she’ll be back. So the next time she asks he hesitates less or initiates it more even when he’s not in the mood so she won’t leave and yeah I have a lot of emotions relating to this. and now I’m thinking about how it’ll affect his future relationships, not even talking about Alec but other people - I have this headcanon where when he got away from Camille and is healing, him ragnor and Catarina live together in ragnors cottage or somewhere away from people for awhile so Magnus can slowly heal and focus on himself and unlearn Camille’s abuse with the help of his family

But despite what this fandom says Magnus has always been a helper and a selfless person to the point of self destruction. He’s unable to prioritise his own health and he wouldn’t be able to slow down and feel the full force of the abuse he experienced cause he feels like he’ll fall apart if he does and ‘no one wants a pathetic crybaby who breaks down when someone moves their hand too fast in his direction it wasn’t even that bad he’s just exaggerating like he always does this is why Camille doesn’t love him back’ (the ‘’ parts were meant to be strikethrough to signify Magnus’ inner thoughts but that doesn’t work on asks)

And he’s scared to get in another relationship cause he doesn’t think he’d be able to speak up for himself if they turned violent or controlling, he’s scared that if they did he’d just let them so he closes himself off from people puts these walls around him and a bright smile on his face that doesn’t let anyone think there’s anything wrong. And theres so much pain going on in the world ‘they have it much worse than him anyway’ and Magnus tries to help the best he can as he always does and he’s always there for people to lean on without any reciprocation and he’s so emotionally and physically tired and he’s not sure how much longer he can take it, almost considers going back to blackfairs bridge ‘really he’d be doing the world a favour’ but theres too many bad memories and he promised his family he would try so he holds on and then he finds Raphael and that obviously doesn’t fix everything but- I was going to continue this but it’s two am in my country and honesty it’s too long already😅 sorry for the rant it’s just a lot of emotions. Im so tired of the ‘Camille’s an annoying ex who keeps getting in the way of my favourite gay ship😠’ metas and needed to let out some feelings before I explode from my hate for Camille

UGH ANON HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE NOT ONLY A GENIUS BUT ALSO MY NEW BEST FRIEND, AN INTELLECTUAL, AND COMPLETELY RIGHT. YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!! idk if uve read my other post that i posted while i was waiting for you but we no longer have the same hat we are SHARING the hat!! i can't believe i got this ask right after i had just made that long ass rant and was in so much need to talk about this like ugh are you my guardian angel. i love you more than anyone else ive ever met

ok ok ok coherent thoughts ok i can do this. first of all THE SALT how does it feel to have vision and coherency. ppl writing camille as just an annoying ex or a bad ex or even as like "oh they both made mistakes and it ended up terrible" drives me UP THE WALL. camille was explicitly abusive, so much so that magnus CANONICALLY WAS UNABLE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO GET CLOSE TO HIM FOR ALMOST A CENTURY. and she was shown to be abusive, both in the physical sense as you have reminded us so brilliantly and in the sense that her whole "choose me" speech? like she doesn't have to literally say the words "no one but me would ever love you" for that to be exactly what she's saying. she's obviously playing with his insecurities and putting him down while presenting her as his savior, it's CLASSIC ABUSE. she was written as such a perfect to-the-book abuser that it honestly shocks me like they did that really all they ticked all the boxes. the way she immediately launched to talk about alec's mortality too, the way she was obviously trying to make them fight and draw them apart - it wasn't a jealousy thing, it is just that she's abusive and she wants him isolated so she can toy with him and manipulate him

EVEN SALTIER WHEN THEY MAKE IT ABOUT ALEC BEING INSECURE LIKE. especially because canonically he literally watched camille kiss magnus and didn't care, which was sexy of him because i was dreading some jealousy drama or something but instead he was just like. obviously she did it to hurt you. i only care in the sense that she's a fucking bitch. we stan!

as for how she treated him! oof i think the same thing with the same words dioajdsaoij it always circled back to "why can't you do this for me?" in and outside of sex - i mentioned that in a conversation in the comments of my other post but i think that with camille the sexual abuse was really just an extension of the regular abuse, so they bleed together and are not really separable in that sense. at every turn, he had to prove his worth, and she used his fear of loneliness both in the sense that she amplified it and made it seem like the only way to not be lonely was to be with her, and that she gave him just enough for him not to feel desperately lonely so she could string him along. not to mention, they both always go back to how magnus supposedly "owes" her, and yes, it's because of the bridge, of course, but there's also that underlying tone of "because she put up with him and gave him affection when no one else would". even when what she did was nowhere close to real affection. so it's both the bridge and the after. she could have saved him and left, but she stayed. that's why he feels he owes her, and she will absolutely use it

AND UR SO RIGHT ABOUT MAGNUS BEING UNABLE TO PRIORITIZE HIS OWN HEALTH UGH UGH UGH UGH like he has no choice for a while because she left him fucking broken and seeing the way she treats him and the amount of shit he puts up with i can only imagine how far she had to go for him to reach a breaking point and leave her for real. but as soon as he could pretend to have himself together he just threw himself out there. and i believe that he felt guilty for having catarina and ragnor take care of him when he abandoned them because of camille - obviously that's not what happened, she manipulated him into staying away from them, made his life hell whenever he wanted to hang out with them until he no longer had the energy to put up a fight to keep in contact with the people he loves, but it's what he feels that happened, and most likely what camille herself eventually started to tell him happened once they had been pulled away enough. ("you're gonna leave me? and go back to who? your little friends who tried to pit you against me from day one? they're just gonna say 'i told you so', magnus. and why would they take you back when you left them before? when was the last time you even saw them? you chose this, you chose me, and now you're gonna come back to them and expect them to welcome you with open arms? you selfish little prick")

AND RAPHAEL!!! raphael was so important, honestly, we say that magnus didn't let anyone into his heart but obviously raphael was the exception and EXTREMELY important for his healing. it's a complicated relationship because he's sort of a father figure for rapha, and as such, he doesn't allow himself to be completely vulnerable around him, because that's not "his role". but! he was the first person whom magnus let in. and they obviously know each other deeply ("i hate to see you like this" even though magnus looked completely put together to the outside eye) and are plenty affectionate ("sweet boy", the hugs, the way rapha talked about magnus with so much love and awe in his eyes and voice) and trusting (the way raphael went to magnus' loft, not his own damn clan, when he was tortured...). i know this fandom likes to pretend that they pretend to hate each other but NO THEY DON'T they are openly caring and loving with each other fucking fight me on this

anyway, my point is that raphael was the first person he allowed himself to trust, and of course, part of that is simply because raphael was vulnerable and in need and like you said he can't just stay still when he sees someone struggling. but to care for raphael eventually had to mean to open up to him and when he welcomed raphael in, he gained a new member to his family. raphael is his kid. that's no small thing. their bond goes deep and it's extremely important because again, after camille magnus wouldn't allow people to get close to his heart, because he was scared of how they could use that against him. raphael was his first, and the only reason magnus was able to open himself up for romantic love again (which was an extra step, not because romantic love is more important or deeper, but because it's specifically the kind of love that camille used against him, and thus it makes him even more scared) was because he had already been relearning trust and platonic love with rapha

rapha did him good!!! there's a reason he calls him "sweet boy" okay. and rapha cares about him and he NOTICES WHEN HE'S IN A BAD SHAPE EVEN THROUGH ALL OF MAGNUS' WALLS and he specifically didn't want magnus involved with the camille drama even when it had obviously gotten out of hand because he wanted to keep him safe and away from her!!! i want to be shot in the face!!! they love each other so much! fuck!

and also that implies that raphael knows about camille which means he might be the first person who met magnus post-camille and heard the story, which means that he might be (and probably is) the first person who was never involved that magnus opened up about this to. if that ain't some powerful and important shit i don't know what is. because part of abuse is that you can't talk about it - there's this sense of shame and guilt both from staying and from not staying more, especially because magnus canonically still feels like he owes her... aaaaa

this answer is all over the place im sorry but my point is you are correct, camille is a textbook abuser not just a shitty ex, she fucked up his head and made him unable to open up for a long time, and the first person that helped him break those walls was raphael and they LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND DEEPLY thank you for your attention

#magnus bane #shadowhunters #sh #meta #magnus bane meta #camille belcourt is an abuser #long post #ask #anonymous #camille's trash party #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them

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