#you just don’t hear established authors calling their characters ocs. because why should they? the original part is sort of a given.

[seilon]

more and more it makes me kind of uncomfortable (for lack of a better/softer word) to call my own characters ‘ocs’. because like. they’re from a completely original universe and from completely original intertwined stories and all that. so why would i have to specify they’re original in the same way someone would when referring to a character they made for a pre-existing non-original universe/franchise/whatever? by that logic every fiction author ever would be referring to their characters as ocs rather than just. their characters. you know.

[asdfghjklmals]

WHEREVER YOU ARE✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff, angst. WORD COUNT: 3.6k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, established couple. adoptedkiddo! tsumiki.

SYNOPSIS: tsumiki wants to study abroad for high school, but satoru gojo is against it. will satoru let tsumiki go? AUTHOR'S NOTE: ***manga spoilers*** because of what happened to tsumiki in the manga, i decided to write a more wholesome version of what i would think tsumiki would've wanted to do. she is going to make small appearances and still have her name mentioned in my future fics, but this is dedicated to her. and because i think satoru loved having her as his child 💚 REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

you sat down on the couch, “satoru, we need to talk.”

“i swear, babe, it wasn’t megumi’s fault.” he stared at you innocently with his hands raised.

“megumi?” you looked at him, brows furrowed and confused, “no, babe, we need to talk about tsumiki.”

satoru sighed in relief, glad he didn’t get himself in trouble. he didn’t want you to find out about megumi getting sent to the principal’s office for fighting at school today. that was another lecture for another day.

“what’s going on with my favorite child?” satoru joked, putting his arm around your shoulder.

you explained the situation to satoru, “now that tsumiki is graduating middle school, we had a grown adult talk about her future plans. she told me she wants to study abroad for high school. she wants to learn english so she can teach kids here in japan after she graduates.”

“absolutely not. she’s staying here.” satoru said without even thinking. no reasoning to support his decision.

“but babe, i think it’s a good idea. she’s 15 and starting high school next year. there are good study abroad programs out there. and it's great to live in country of the language you want to the learn.” you said, trying to justify tsumiki’s decision to satoru.

“no, (y/n).” he said sternly. since when did he ever directly call you by your first name instead of a petname? and since when did he want to play patriarch? you were usually the shot-caller in this household.

it was time for the back up plan if all else failed. kisses. you grabbed satoru’s hand and peppered it with your soft lips. “please? for me and tsumiki?”

he looked at you and took his hand away. you stared back at him in disbelief, “satoru gojo, what is your problem today?” even the government name didn’t make him flinch like it usually did.

he never acted like this, even when he disagreed with you, he was usually calm and rational. he would have data and reasons to back up his decisions, but not today.

“i just don’t think a 15 year old girl needs to go study abroad in another country without her guardians.” he said bitterly, “and that’s final.”

he removed his hand from your thigh and got up from the couch, leaving you alone in the living room as he made his way to the patio to join catoru in the sun. your jaw dropped. what was wrong with him today?

later that night: tsumiki's room

“(y/n), did you ask gojo-sensei if i can study abroad?” tsumiki asked curiously as you towel dried her long brown hair for her. she had spent the last week convincing you about letting her attend a private academy in california, and you were totally on board with it until satoru shot you down earlier today.

“i did… he wasn’t too happy to hear what i had to say though.” you frowned at her. she looked at you with sad eyes.

“what did he say?”

“he thinks that you’re too young to study abroad and that you should stay here in japan with us.”

“i’m not a baby, (y/n).” tsumiki said, “why can’t gojo-sensei see that i can take care of myself?”

you thought out loud, “maybe because you’re his little girl... his partner in crime. he doesn’t want to lose that. you know what a softie he is.”

“yeah, but it’s not like i'll be gone forever! i can come home for the semester breaks and i’ll always have my cell phone with me!”

“i know, sweetheart. coming from how i grew up, i think this would be a great experience for you.” you commented as you thought about how you wanted to attend jujutsu high instead of being homeschooled when you were tsumiki’s age. (read ‘love at first fight’ here)

tsumiki sighed in defeat, “can’t you give him a kiss or something? he never says no to you.”

“believe me, i tried.” you chuckled, “he pushed me away and said no.” you and tsumiki both knew satoru gojo's weaknesses.

“what?!” tsumiki gasped, “that man is so obsessed with you and he did what?!”

“i know, that’s the last time he’ll be getting any kisses from me.” you stated, sitting down on her bed.

“well, that’s just mean.” satoru interrupted your girls only conversation. his tall frame leaning against tsumiki's bedroom door, arms folded.

tsumiki smiled, “oh, hi gojo-sensei!”

“hi tsumiki.” satoru greeted her, sitting down on her bed next to you. tsumiki sat on the floor. “(y/n) says you have something you wanted to talk to me about.”

"oh... yes!" tsumiki nervously laughed, scratching the back of her head. "well, since i'm graduating middle school, i wanted to ask you and (y/n) if i can attend this boarding school in california. it's called e.f. academy."

"okay, if you're going to go this far away, you're going to have to convince me. so tell me more." satoru encouraged her.

"well..." tsumiki started to word vomit, "it's a private high school academy with small classes. they have a lot of extra curricular activities and travel opportunities. they'll prepare me for college. they have advisors that i can talk to if we need anything..."

"tsumiki, can't you do all of this here? why do you have to go so far away?" satoru asked. this was his way of being 'reasonable'. he was starting to ask questions so he could make the best decision.

tsumiki was smart and calculated, just as you and satoru raised her to be. she started her rebuttal, "you and (y/n) have always taught me and megumi that we are not going to grow if we don't step out of our comfort zone. you even told megumi to be greedier, so this is me being greedy."

satoru nodded his head, "okay. give me a week to think about it. don't bother (y/n) and don't ask her to give me kisses because that's unfair."

you smiled as you watched satoru and tsumiki talk. they were really a father-daughter duo, partners in crime, two peas in a pod. you missed the days where your 6 year old adopted daughter used to keep your 18 year old boyfriend in check.

"really? you'll really think about it?" tsumiki asked satoru with a hopeful gleam in her eye.

"yes. i promise." he answered.

tsumiki stuck out her pinky as satoru laughed. he intertwined his pinky with hers, both of them kissing their pinkies to seal the deal. (read 'pinky promises' here)

one week later: satoru's office

satoru knew that he only had one week to make a decision that would change his life and ultimately, tsumiki's life. megumi and you were all for tsumiki studying abroad, while he was the only one against it.

"she's the only one that doesn't have cursed energy. she can't see curses and she can't attend jujutsu high with us." megumi's comment ran through satoru's mind. it was true, being the only one who couldn't see curses or practice jujutsu in the family could feel alien. but tsumiki never expressed that she felt alone.

satoru sighed while he sat in his expensive office chair. he knew that he was going to have to give tsumiki an answer today. he still wanted to say no, but his heart knew the right decision was to say yes and let her be free to be her own person.

he heard a knock on his office door. the four signature knocks signaling it was you (or him). ten years later, that has never changed.

"gojo-sensei?" your saccharine voice called out for him as you opened his door.

he greeted you with a bright flashy smile, "i love it when you call me that."

you rolled your emerald green eyes at him as you made your way towards his desk, sitting against it. "did you make a decision yet?"

"i'm thinking about it." he mused.

"you know our baby girl is waiting for an answer. she's at cheer practice right now, so she should be home at 6 today." you commented.

"let me take one last walk and i promise i'll be home on time for dinner." satoru huffed. you leaned down to kiss him before heading back to your office. he grabbed your hand, stopping you.

"wait, can i get another kiss?" he requested with a shit-eating grin.

your radiant laugh filled his office. he peeked one of his shiny blue eyes out of his blindfold. you turned back around to grab his chin with your hand.

"see you at home." you whispered, kissing him again fervently.

***************************************

satoru decided to take the long way home instead of teleporting. he wanted the last couple hours to himself to think.

why was he so against tsumiki studying abroad? he thought about the conversation he had with you last night.

"i think you have abandonment issues, satoru. that's why you won't let tsumiki leave japan." you realized as he pulled you closer to him in bed, your gentle hand resting against his bare chest.

"hmmm. you think so?" he mumbled, pulling your chin up for a sweet peck on the lips.

"i know so."

abandonment. the first person who came to satoru's mind was suguru geto, his bestfriend. the original partner in crime. a person who he loved and cared about til' this day.

"losing suguru really changed you, babe. and that's okay. you've become a better man because of it." you said softly.

"i guess you're right." satoru acknowledged. he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. he felt your delicate breathing against his skin as he fell asleep.

it was true, what you had said. satoru didn't want to be left behind again. even though he knew that tsumiki wasn't actually leaving him behind, he didn't like the fact that another person he loved and cared about wasn't going to always be present in his life.

he knew that if he kept her here, she would just grow up pushing him away or maybe even resenting him. and he couldn't have that. he knew what he had to do. he was going to let tsumiki go.

later that night: family dinner

"so... did you make a decision, gojo-sensei?" tsumiki interjected at dinner.

yours and megumi's green eyes met at the dinner table. the ball was in satoru's court now.

"i did, sweetheart." satoru said calmly. you and megumi extremely curious, tsumiki's heart beating quickly.

"you can go."

"really?!" tsumiki jumped out of her chair.

"really." satoru confirmed.

tsumiki cheered and squealed in delight. running to hug satoru. she ran to her room and grabbed her acceptance letter to show the white haired sorcerer.

"you already have an acceptance letter?" megumi questioned his sister.

"they have a 99% acceptance rate, so it doesn't matter. but i wanted to show gojo-sensei anyways." she beamed.

"i guess they just let anyone into that school." megumi muttered. you kicked him under the table as he shot a glare black at you.

"when is the first day?" satoru asked you and tsumiki.

you answered, "classes start in two weeks. i already bought our plane tickets and made sure our passports were good to go, tsumiki has her student visa ready as well."

"you already bought our plane tickets?" satoru questioned, chuckling, "and what were you going to do if i said no?"

"i knew you wouldn't have said no, babe. you can't say no to me or tsumiki to save your life." you grinned.

"she's right about that." megumi added. tsumiki nodding in agreement. she did get catoru because satoru said yes. (read 'the purrr-fect approach' here)

"i can definitely say no to (y/n)." satoru defended himself as his family ganged up on him.

you picked up your empty plate, and walked to satoru side, "can i get a kiss before i start the dishes?"

"sure, babe." he replied with no hesitation as he gave you a quick peck, unaware of your tricky mind games.

"see? you can't say no." you laughed as you picked up the rest of the empty dinner plates and utensils.

"what did i say about using kisses as a weapon?!" satoru complained. "that's so unfair!"

the dining room was filled with laughter from you, megumi, tsumiki, and satoru.

two weeks later: tsumiki fushiguro takes california

satoru was glued to tsumiki by the hip for the past two weeks. they went shopping together for all her academic needs, for new clothes, a laptop, and a new matching backpack and suitcase. they went to get their hair cut together, and even got their nails done together (satoru loved getting pedicures, you thought it was because of the foot massages). he wanted to spend as much time with tsumiki as possible before parting ways.

orientation for tsumiki's school was a two day event. during the first day, the families would be given a tour of the school and then everyone would attend a social hour to get to know the faculty and other students. the second day, the families would help their student move into their dorms and say their goodbyes until semester break in the late fall, early winter.

during the first day of orientation, tsumiki had already started to make friends. she was just like you. beautiful, nice, caring, friendly. people wanted to be around her and wanted to be her friend. you and satoru watched from the sidelines of the gymnasium as tsumiki mingled with her new classmates.

"are you still worried about her? she's already getting used to things here." you tried to comfort satoru as you watched your future high schooler.

"i was hoping she'd beg us to take her home." satoru frowned. you smacked his chest playfully with the back of your hand.

"mr. and mrs. gojo," a student aide approached the both of you, "can you sign these papers for tsumiki? these are the final documents for admissions."

"sure thing." satoru replied, grabbing the clipboard and pen from the student aide. you waited until they walked away to turn to satoru.

"mr. and mrs. gojo. what did you think about that?" you sneered.

satoru chuckled as he signed the document, "sounds like music to my ears."

"give me a 10 carat diamond ring first, babe." you grinned as satoru handed you the clipboard to sign the document too.

satoru gojo would give you the world if you asked for it.

"(y/n)! gojo-sensei!" tsumiki shouted from across the gymnasium to catch your attention. she waved while pointing at the two of you. she was showing her new friends who her cool and awesome parents were. you and satoru waved back at her, giving her both of your world-class smiles.

***************************************

satoru used blue to hold up all of tsumiki's luggage as the three of you made your way to the dorm room that tsumiki would be staying in. you and satoru paid extra to make sure that she would get her own room. you sat down on the empty bed, tsumiki joining you.

"what do you think, sweetheart?"

"with a little extra decorating, i can make it look like my room at home." she said with a bright smile.

you and satoru helped put on the bed spread, duvet cover, and pillow cases while tsumiki unpacked her clothes and placed them into her small dresser.

you could feel satoru tensing up, his cursed energy spiking every now and then. he was dreading saying goodbye to tsumiki. whenever he would look at you, you would give him a soft smile and rub his back in reassurance.

"gojo-sensei, (y/n), look what megumi gave me for my dorm room." tsumiki's brown eyes twinkled as she showed you a pink sparkly picture frame.

the picture frame contents were of the four of you. it was a recent picture from tsumiki's 15th birthday. you had your arms around megumi while satoru had his arms around tsumiki. it was a rare occasion that megumi was smiling in a picture. tsumiki's signature bright smile lit up the picture. you could feel the love radiating from the frame.

"megumi says that this picture will be a reminder of home and that you all love me."

"he's right." you patted her head, brushing her brown hair. "are you sure you want to do this? it's not too late to change your mind. we can go back home if you want."

"no, i'm sure!" tsumiki said confidently.

you laughed, "you're breaking satoru's heart, baby girl." you hugged satoru, his arms were folded as he quietly laughed, shaking his head.

***************************************

you and satoru spent your last couple of hours with tsumiki reminiscing about her younger days and what kind of child she was growing up.

"remember the day that satoru lost you and megumi at kanda matsuri? i was going to have a heart attack."

satoru shot you a glare, "in my defense, there are thousands of people at that festival. it's one of japan's big three festivals! they were like four feet tall at the time! i told you we needed to get them those child leashes."

"you were such a responsible girl, going to the lost and found." you ignored satoru and laughed, remembering that tsumiki went to the lost and found to have the festival employee announce 'satoru gojo, can you please come to the lost and found to pick up your children'.

"remember the one day gojo-sensei forgot your anniversary?" tsumiki peered at satoru, giggling.

"oh god... don't bring that up." satoru hid his face in his hands.

"what was that? our third year of dating?" you asked satoru, "and your cute 9 year old partner in crime saved you that day. she went to the flower shop down the street and bought lilies with your credit card."

"then how did you find out that i forgot if she saved me?" satoru interrupted you.

"because you always get me roses, even though my favorite flowers are lilies. not only is tsumiki responsible, she's extremely thoughtful." (read 'lilies and roses' here)

"remember when tsumiki brought me a homemade lunch for teachers day?" satoru smiled at the fond memory. tsumiki was only 8 years old when satoru got an official teaching position at jujutsu high.

"it was her idea too," you reminded satoru, "she asked me to help her bring your lunch to the school that day. our baby girl is so caring. what did we do to deserve such an amazing daughter?" you gushed at your 15 year old, hugging her tightly. tsumiki just smiled and laughed like she always did.

"i think i'm the lucky one too! what did me and megumi do to deserve such loving adoptive parents?!" she remarked.

"all you two had to do was look cute. that's why i picked you two up off the streets." satoru joked. (read 'learn to love' here)

you heard a knock on tsumiki's dorm door, tsumiki opening it. the resident assistant announced, "curfew is starting soon. parents are going to be saying goodbye to their students in the courtyard."

you felt satoru's cursed energy spike again. he wasn't ready for this moment, and honestly, neither were you. you weren't sure what was going to break your heart the most: letting tsumiki go or watching satoru leave a piece of his (still) healing heart behind.

you and satoru quietly followed behind tsumiki as she confidently led the way to the courtyard. it was like she belonged here at the academy the way she navigated through the halls. the courtyard was dimly lit, the california skyline in the background, clouds kissing the top of the city buildings.

you watched as satoru sneakily wiped his tears away from his cerulean blue eyes. he crouched down, softly smiling at tsumiki.

“you gonna be okay without your partner in crime?” he asked her.

as strong as tsumiki was, her brave face started to falter. her warm brown eyes brimmed with tears as she ran into satoru’s arms for one last hug before you and satoru had to leave the campus.

tsumiki babbled through her tears, “thanks for letting me come to school here… i promise i’ll study really hard... i love you and (y/n) so much. you two are the best mom and dad ever.”

satoru scoffed through his tears and continued to hold her. you put a reassuring hand on satoru’s shoulder, joining them for a group hug. tsumiki looked up at the both of you with flushed cheeks.

you kissed the top of her precious head, an action that she never grew out of (and you hoped she never would). you smiled back at her with tears in your eyes, “wherever you are, baby girl, satoru and i will always be one call away. we love you and we’re so proud of you, tsumiki.”

"no boyfriends, please." satoru added with a chuckle. he didn't think he could handle another heart attack.

EXTRA:

"did you see how much tuition costs at tsumiki's boarding school?" you asked satoru as he sat down in his first class airline seat.

"no, i didn't even bother check the brochure they handed us at orientation." satoru stretched his long legs, "how much could a high school tuition cost? one or two thousand a year?"

you just laughed at his ridiculous comment. you were amused at how naive he was.

"what? why are you laughing?"

"try seventy, babe." you stared at him. satoru looked like he was going to have a brain aneurysm.

"seventy what? seventy dollars or seventy thousand?"

you annunciated each word clearly so he could understand you. "seventy. thousand. dollars. a. year."

satoru fake-clutched his chest, "we have to go back and withdraw her, immediately."

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

[bubbleweirdo]

Alegría

Chapter: 5/?

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Summary: A wild night for Joy.

Words: 2.917

Main relationship: Javier Escuella/OC

Other relationships: Charles Smith/OC, Arthur Morgan/OC

Characters: Van der Linde gang

Author's note: Hi, I'm back... For now, at least lmao

While trying to write chapter 6 I realized I never posted chapter 5 and that... maybe... it was time to do it................. Anyways, hope y'all find it enjoyable!

The same day she and Javier returned from the stage robbery, Dutch arrived at night with a boy riding behind him. Joy was on duty when The Count appeared with the two men on top of him. After greeting her, Dutch took him to the entrance of the camp, where they both dismounted. She followed them with her eyes curiously, but immediately focused back on her task. However she could hear from where she was how Dutch presented him to the others: Leonard Summers -“But you can call me Lenny!”-.

The next day after lunch, Dutch called her to his tent, where the newcomer was too.

“Miss Joy, would you be so kind as to take Mr. Summers into town? And by the way help him choose a good mount, I know you have an eye for it.” He asked with a charismatic smile.

“Sure, why not?” She replied looking at the guy. “Let’s go?”

“Uh, sure, let’s go.” He said with a kind smile.

Joy walked over to where the horses were grazing looking for Berry, who was rubbing her head against the body of Old Belle, Karen's mare. Before guiding her to the beginning of the road, she walked over to the Nokota and patted her on the neck. Once there she mounted and held out her hand to Lenny, which helped him up.

They trotted through the grove that led to the main road and headed for the town.

“And what has Dutch seen in you, Mr. Summers?”

“He saw me running away from bounty hunters and helped me avoid them. After that we talked, and well, here I am I guess.”

“Sounds like Dutch.” She chuckled.

“I’m very grateful. Since I was fifteen I’ve been alone, running from one place to another.”

“How old are you now?”

“Eighteen.”

Joy turned her head and looked at him, incredulous. It had seemed to her that he was at least twenty, like Sean or Mary-Beth.

“What?! That young?! I thought you were older.”

Lenny laughed out loud.

“That flatters me.”

“Now I feel like I'm babysitting.” She said playfully.

“That’s rude Miss Joy!” She burst out laughing and kept teasing him along the way. He was complaining but seemed to be having fun too. They arrived at the town stable and asked the stable keeper to show them his horses for sale. After taking a look at each one, Joy selected two: a grey Kentucky Saddler and a palomino Mustang.

“These babies are in great shape and look pretty sweet.” She said, stroking the face of the first. “I think you could use a horse like that, affable.”

He watched them both thoughtfully.

“I think I will keep this one.” He decided, pointing to the Mustang. The man nodded and while he went to look for the mare's documents his assistant began to prepare her to saddle and bridle her. When he returned, she was ready and Joy paid the corresponding amount while Lenny kept the papers.

“What are you gonna call her?” She asked once they were out.

“Maggie, I think.”

“Suits her. As sweet as her.” She smiled.

“Will you accompany me to the general store? I want to buy chewing tobacco. Then we can have a drink. He said walking towards the establishment.

“Okay!” The two of them entered the store and while Lenny picked up the box, Joy peered through the products. A fishing rod caught her attention. It looked consistent and was definitely in a better condition than the one Tommy used. He didn't complain about it but many times when she accompanied him to fish she could see how the reel wasn’t working exactly as it should. She remembered that it would be his birthday soon, maybe she could give him one. She had enough money to afford some of the more expensive ones but she didn't have much idea of which one would fit her brother better so she decided that she would ask Javier to accompany her when she went to buy it, he had more idea about that.

Lenny paid and they both headed for the saloon. There were quite a few people and a man played a happy tune on the piano. They ordered their drinks and sat at a table to talk.

“So you like horses?” He asked her, drinking from his glass.

“Yeah. My family used to have quite a few, we would sell them at Valentine's and Strawberry's stables, but when my parents passed away I couldn't deal with so many anymore so we just kept Berry. What do you like?”

“Reading, I guess. A lot of things can be learned.” Joy rested her chin on her hand.

“I envy you. I know how to read but it’s so boring…”

“That's because you haven't found one that you like.”

“Maybe. My mother started buying me romance novels when I was twelve and let me tell you, they were tedious. At first they were fine but when I grew up I realized that they were just absurd fantasies.”

“I heard they’re quite corny.” He commented.

“They are.” She huffed. “I suppose I am resentful because they put an idea in your head about what love is that in the end doesn’t match reality...” She took a drink from her whiskey.

“Hadn’t thought of that. Not that I have read any.” Lenny said with a shrug.

They continued talking for another couple of hours, they had gotten along well. Then Joy realized that a girl who was leaning against the wall behind Lenny kept looking at him. She was young, perhaps of his age, and had her brown hair half tied. It was clear from her gaze that she wasn’t exclusively interested in the money she could get out of him. She probably hadn't tried anything because Joy was there. She leaned across the table to whisper to him.

“Pssst. Pretty girl interested in you behind you.” He looked at her confused.

“What?”

“Good luck.” She rose from her seat and raised her voice enough that the girl could hear her well. “Sorry boy, I'm not interested in you, you're too young for me.” She sighed theatrically and walked away to the bar under the stunned gaze of her new friend. Out of the corner of her eye she could see how the girl sat in the seat that she had just left and began to talk to Lenny. He was nervous but she seemed to like that. After a while they both got up and went upstairs. Joy smiled to herself.

A man stood beside her at the bar. He was tall, because of how his clothes adapted to his body, he didn't seem very muscular, but neither was he untrained. His short black hair was slicked back but some strands fell on his forehead.

“Hello Miss.” He greeted her, fixing his green eyes on hers. Joy raised an eyebrow, amused. He was handsome.

“Hello Mister.”

“Can I invite you to a drink?”

“Sure. A whiskey for both of us.” She asked the waiter.

“I see that you have good taste.”

“So it seems.” She said raising the glass to her mouth without breaking eye contact.

“What would you say if after this you and I go somewhere else?” He asked doing the same. Joy almost choked on the question. Trying not to laugh, she replied.

“You are very direct, aren’t you?”

“I don't have time for games.” He said winking at her and shortening the space between them.

Normally going so fast would have been a reason to reject him, but it had been a long time since she had relationships and honestly? That man was very attractive. She drained the glass in one gulp and set it on the bar.

“Alright.” She agreed, walking out the back door of the saloon. There was nobody there. She turned to look at the man but he put her against the wall and kissed her passionately. She gasped when their tongues began to play with each other. He continued to kiss her neck, as he unbuttoned the buttons of her shirt and lifted the chemise, revealing her freckled breasts. He grabbed one eagerly and twisted her nipple, causing a moan in her. He pulled down her pants and bloomers and brought his mouth to her crotch. Joy sighed, anticipating the contact, but what she felt was... discomfort. The stranger used his tongue at full speed at her entrance, causing more discomfort than pleasure. She cursed in her mind, she had to stop him but she didn't want the meeting to end.

“Didn't you say you didn't have time for games? Fuck me!” She said between mock gasps.

“How rude. What do you say?” he replied, continuing whatever he was doing down there.

“Please! Please…!” -Please stop.-

“Well then…” He got up, quickly pulled down his pants, lifted Joy by the legs, and inserted his member into her. She welcomed him willingly, clutching at his shoulders as he rammed her faster and faster. The man, between grunts, pulled out to come. When he caught his breath, he lowered her to the ground and began putting on his clothes.

Joy followed suit, somewhat disappointed but not entirely dissatisfied. She wished she had an orgasm, but she had missed the feeling of being full of someone and had enjoyed it.

“It was good.” He commented.

“Yeah. Lucky that no one was here.” He smiled.

“Well, I’m leaving. Miss…” He said goodbye with two fingers to his forehead. She replied the same, amused and went back inside the establishment.

After an hour chatting with the bartender, she checked that Lenny was still with the girl -she asked her coworkers and also put her ear to the door of the room they were in to make sure- and decided that she wasn’t going to wait any longer for him, who knew when they would finish. Before riding Berry and heading back to camp, she stroked Maggie's neck. She couldn't help it, if she had a horse nearby she needed to pet them.

When she arrived Javier was on duty.

“Who’s there?”

“The joy of the house.” She answered dismounting.

“How come you are so late? And hadn't you go out with the newbie?”

“Oh, don’t worry, we went drinking and then we parted to have our own fun. And it seems he was having a greeeeeeat time.” She giggled and winked at him. Javier cleared his throat, uncomfortable. Weird. Normally he would joke back. Maybe he didn't like Lenny? “Anyway I was wondering if these days you could come with me to choose a fishing rod for Tommy, his birthday will be soon.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you!”

Once at camp Joy changed her clothes, putting on her nightgown and loosening her two braids to collect her hair back into one only. Going to her bedroll, she noticed that her brother was still awake.

“How come you're not asleep yet?” She asked lying down facing him.

“I was worried you weren't coming back.” Joy smiled bitterly.

“I'm sorry I worried you.”

“I know you can defend yourself but... I'm afraid something like what happened at home will happen again.” Tommy confessed, his eyes watered.

“Oh, Tommy, my boy…” She kissed his face and when she pulled away she started stroking his hair. “I love you, you know that, right?” He nodded.

“Me too.” Joy smiled.

“How about I sing you a lullaby to sleep?” He nodded again. She cleared her throat and started:

“Hush, little baby, don't say a word,

Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

And if that mockingbird don't sing,

Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.

And if that diamond ring turns brass,

Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass.

And if that looking glass gets broke,

Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat,

And if that billy goat get cross,

Mama's gonna buy you a rocking horse.

And if that rocking horse turns over,

Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.

And if that dog named Rover won't bark,

Mama's gonna buy you a horse and a cart.

And if that horse and cart fall down,

You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town…”

And they both fell asleep.

Four days had passed and on the last one it had rained. Far from being uncomfortable, Joy had appreciated it. It was a hot summer and as soon as the first drops hit the ground they were very well received. The next day had stopped raining, but the smell of damp earth was still there, the ground covered in puddles. That's where the game started for her. After finishing all her tasks Joy looked for Tommy. He was behind the camp with Jack, drawing strokes on the ground with a stick.

She sneaked up from behind making a silent gesture to Strauss, who was sitting on a log doing the math and could see Joy's intentions perfectly. He only looked at her for a moment with a polite smile and turned his attention back to his work, ignoring her.

When she was close enough she flexed her knees and jumped into a puddle without any regard, splashing at Tommy and Jack.

“Hey!” the older boy yelled, falling forward in shock. Jack started to laugh and plunged into the puddle, jumping over and over. Tommy pounced on her and they started a fight, splashing and pushing each other.

“Stop! What are you doing?” Abigail exclaimed, hurrying over to them. Tommy stopped dead in his tracks and jumped up, straightening up.

“I’m sorry Miss Roberts.” He apologized, embarrassed. Beside him Jack had stopped jumping.

“Oh, come on Abby, we’re just having fun.” Joy said pouting.

“Y’all are getting dirty and that’s just more work for later!”

“Come on Abby!”

Abigail looked at her impassively. She sighed.

“Okay, help me up.”

As soon as she held out her hand Joy pulled her and dragged her along, staining her with mud.

“Joy Collins, you are…!” She screeched before splashing her. Joy laughed and Abigail followed suit, never stopping her attacks. Realizing that his mother had joined the party, Jack allowed himself to keep jumping and Tommy joined him.

They had made quite a fuss, and an authoritative hawk took them out of the game.

“Miss Collins, Miss Roberts, set an example for your children and clean yourselves immediately! We are a gang of outlaws, not one of savages.”

They both nodded and Grimshaw walked away to speak to Pearson. Abigail tapped Joy on the shoulder in a friendly way and stood up.

“Come on, we have to clean us up.”

They took spare clothes and soap and approached the river, moving away from the camp a little to have privacy. They cleaned themselves thoroughly and helped the children to do it as well. When they were done, the boys ran out to grab a plate of stew.

"Be careful!" Abigail warned them. She turned to Joy. "I must admit that I had a good time."

She smiled.

"That was the plan! We all need a moment of fun sooner or later."

"You’re right. Being a mother is difficult and even more so if there isn't..." She stopped and sighed.

“I understand.” She put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “If you need anything you know I’m here.” Abigail nodded and put her hand over hers before leaving.

“So mud fights, how mature.” Daniela said sarcastically.

“Yes, you should try, it's fun.” Joy replied with a smile, rolling her eyes.

“I pass. I prefer to see them. I liked how you fooled Abigail.”

Joy laughed. She picked up a plate of stew and sat next to her. Laughter drew her attention from the main fire. Javier was telling one of his adventures to Jenny. Since that conversation they had in the cabin, the two of them spent more time together. They had always been close but now they were almost inseparable. Joy supposed that he had decided to turn the page on his love from Mexico and start something with her. She was envious of how well they got along. She also wanted a relationship like that and she had long since given up hope with Mary-Beth, you could tell she only had eyes for men.

She sighed and Daniela giggled.

“What?”

“No, nothing…” She replied with a certain sarcasm. Joy eyed her suspiciously, but decided to let it go.

They continued talking quietly until Javier's voice caught their attention. He was still sitting by the main fire, Jenny was gone and he was singing in spanish.

“What do the lyrics say? Sounds sad.” Joy asked Daniela curiously.

“Oh, it is. He sings it once in a while. Talks about a man who feels betrayed by the woman he loves because she’s in love with another man.”

It wasn't difficult for Joy to understand why he sang that song. It wasn't so easy to get rid of those feelings even though he was now with someone else, she supposed.

“Sometimes I would like to know what his songs say.”

Daniela giggled again.

“Seriously, what's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, nothing... If you want to know what they say, I can teach you spanish.”

“Would you really do that?”

“Uhuh, why not?”

“Because right now you’re the most suspicious person I've ever seen.”

Daniela laughed out loud.

“Calm down bonita, I'm serious.” she held out her hand.

“Mm…” She looked into her eyes before shaking her hand. “Alright…”

“It’s settled then.”

[chick-from-nz]

Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 1)

CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually) 

WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, spelling and grammatical errors. Could be very OOC/AU for some. 

AUTHORS NOTE:  this is kind of just an establishing chapter to get the idea out there, Carrillo is barely in this chapter. Characters are younger than they should be for their ranks. Also so far there is no first names, that’ll come later

WORD COUNT: 1.6K

CHAPTER: 1 OF ?

TAG LIST: @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @xxidontwikeitxx @nicke0115

The sun was beginning to disappear behind the curve of the earth,  painting the sky with a unique mixture of orange and dark violet. The distant sound of rumbling thunder is like persistent background music for the evening , powerful and uncanny.  The impending storm instills a sense of relief within the thirty or so soon to be officers standing stock still in a neat formation.

The cadets have been standing at attention for what seems like an eternity, the warmth of the day slowly fading away into the brisk cold that is night. This day was the first of many long days to look forward to in the treacherous week ahead, a week full of drills, missions and courses set to make or break the cadets and be the decider on whether or not they will become the soldiers they so desperately wish to be.  

The cadets had been informed of an up and coming role in a new task force that would be the highlight of one lucky future second lieutenant's career. A foreign Colonel was set to choose the most fitting recruit for his force to fight an enemy unknown to these youngsters. Only a cadet who scored within the top three of the company would be eligible for this role or at least that's what the platoon imagined.

The tension within the platoon was high, higher still with this opportunity hanging over their heads. Each cadet was now fighting tooth and nail to be at the top of the pack. Among this group was a young female recruit with everything against her. It seemed like all the instructors had a vendetta against her because of her last name, yet she was sitting top of the pack. The female cadets gossiped about her and the male cadets paid her no notice, she was hoping whoever this Colonel was that he at least would see her worth for what it was and not because of the last name attached to it.

When the thunder cracked and the rain came pouring down only then did the morale of the group start to drop, holding a pack above your head for what felt like 3 hours, and probably was, was being to take its toll on certain cadets. Almost half the platoon had forfeited points by dropping their packs, another five cadets were beginning to sway from the weight and would no doubt drop their packs within the hour. The test of strength and endurance was a tough one at that. Do you drop your pack and lose some points but not be exhausted for whatever discipline was thrown at you next, or did you power through and hope that this was the last task of the night.  

As another hour or so passes there are all but 3 recruits standing out of the rain. Cadets Greyson, Calliope and Micheals were the remaining cadets out in the downpour with their packs hoisted above their heads. It was a power struggle now, Greyson and Micheals were but half a point apart for top cadet while Cadet Calliope was only a point behind them, these three were now not only competing for top cadet but for a chance to make it onto the Colonels “kill squad” as it had been nicknamed by the Cadets.

Calliope was the first to drop his pack, followed closely by Michaels. Cadet Greyson, like usual, was the last cadet standing, feeling incredibly proud of herself as she spun around to face her fellow cadets only to be greeted with distasteful looks and the occasional snarl on her opponents faces. At this point she thought she should be used to it, but each time it stung more and more. Was no one going to acknowledge the fact that she had proven herself yet again?

Greyson was given no time to dwell on her thoughts as the cadets were called to make formation and report to the Lieutenant in charge. Lieutenant O’Connor. The man was the only superior who Greyson felt appreciated by, he always took time to pull her aside and give her tips to improve on if she needed them, or congratulate her on her win. Since she dominated the event yet again Greyson was tasked with determining the route best fit to take to get back to their tents. With the help of Cadets Calliope and Michaels, whom she had chosen as her second and third in command respectively. The platoon made their way back to the campsite without a fuss.

Major Benn was perched on the hood of his jeep when the platoon reached camp. Ever one to be formal Cadet Greyson brought her squad to attention and popped off a salute to the aforementioned man. The major was quick to return the salute, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Cadet Greyson, congratulations on another win, dismiss your squad and everyone gather round the Jeep”

“Yes Sir!”

Greyson did as she was told, silently thanking the Major for the kind words, and gathered the squad around the jeep. She was hoping that they were going to be jagged in for the night, but just their luck the Major would have them up running parade drills for the next three hours.

“As you well know one of you will be chosen and given the opportunity of a lifetime, working alongside one of Colombia's most renowned Officers in the intelligence field. In two days he’ll be here to oversee the evolutions for the day and set challenges for you to complete. He will select who he thinks is right for his team, scores will not play a part in his decision. I suggest you all take this on board and do you best to impress. This opportunity will not come around again so I expect top performance from each and every one of you. You are dismissed”

At the order each cadet gave a salute and went off to their own tents, thankful for the opportunity for rest and each thinking of how they could impress the Officer and gain a place on his team.

As the night drew to a close and everyone was drifting off to sleep Cadet Greyson decided to wander away from the cadets campsite and unintentionally towards the instructors camp. It was only when the darkness gave way to the burning lights surrounding their camp did she slow her pace and hide in the shadows. She knew if she was caught here she’d be doing in a world of hell, but for some reason she just couldn't turn around and walk back to her tent.

She could hear voices coming from the camp, she could pinpoint all but one of them, and it sounded like they were deep in a very serious discussion. Greyson gathered  her courage and began to creep closer to the voices, remembering her training she kept low to the ground and used the shadows to her advantage. She came to an abrupt halt when she heard her name being passed around between the men. Why would they be talking about me? Please don’t be ruining my name she thought to herself. She took a few steps more and placed herself behind one of the tents. The fourth voice was louder now, accented and strong. The kind of voice that makes you want to run towards it and away from it at the same time. Greyson wondered if it was possible to be attracted to a voice, and promptly decided it was, that voice, whoever it belonged to, was the most attractive voice she’d ever heard.

Deciding she’d pushed her luck too far, the cadet soundlessly turned and made her way back to the path at the edge of the camp, but instead of continuing towards her camp like any sane cadet would she turned to see if she could catch a glimpse of whoever the authoritative voice belonged to. What she managed to see nearly made her fall over breathless. He was gorgeous, even from a distance. A strong chiseled jaw that gave way to wide shoulders and what seemed to be the strongest most defined arms she’d ever seen.  God if his arms look like that i can only imagine what he must look like under that uniform Greyson thought. He was standing in a stance that screamed power and experience, shoulders back, head tilted back in a way that made it look like he was looking down his nose at someone, except, he was staring right in her direction.

“Fuck!” Greyson whispered to herself, if he had spotted her she might have just compromised her points she earnt today and might have just dropped herself into the biggest punishment she’d ever receive. As to not draw attention to herself she slowly crept backwards further into the shadows, double checked that the coast was clear and bolted in the direction of the cadets camp. She reached the camp in record time, the fear of being caught fueling her the whole way back to the camp.

Greyson wasted no time kicking off her boots and climbing into her sleeping bag, if she’d been caught the platoon would get a rude awakening in a matter of minutes, if not she had maybe three hours to get as much sleep as she could. As the minutes ticked by and the night stayed silent it seemed as though she would get to sleep tonight, she could only hope that tomorrow would bring slightly better outcomes than the day before. As she drifted off she smiled to herself, the image of those wide shoulders and strong arms had her imagining some not so professional situations where she could use them to her advantage.

[mrslittletall]

Prompt: Blindfolded

Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Micolash Host of the Nightmare, Laurence the first Vicar, Choir Leader Yuria (OC) Word Count: 1.970 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718291/chapters/61541248

Summary: Micolash tries to join the choir but blindfolding himself doesn't sit well with him at all...

(Author's note: I have some very specific headcanons about Micolash's upbringing and they are explored in this peace.

Warnings for past child abuse and panic attacks, I guess.)

 Written for @badthingshappenbingo​

The prompts marked with blood vials have already been filled out, the ones marked with madmen’s knowledge are planned. I am unsure about the unmarked prompts… but if nobody has to say anything, there is the danger that I make “Bloodstained Clothes” just about Laurence have a very untimely nosebleed, so uh, you have been warned. The third time actually. The probability for it is 90 %.

“Joining the choir? Me?”, Micolash said. “Are you sure about this?”

“Look, I know you have your own school.”, Laurence said, taking a sip of tea. Micolash's own cup still stood untouched in front of him, but he knew that Laurence would just drink it once he was gone. He knew him long enough. “But your research and the research of the choir are similar. Besides, the choir actually managed to commune with a Great One. I don't ask you to leave your school, but I think the both of you could benefit from working together.”

Micolash had to consider. It was true, the choir actually had managed to get farther with their research than the School of Mensis, actually having succeeded communicating with a Great One, Ebrietas, who spend her time in the church basement, being the main source of the holy blood. The School of Mensis instead had worked on a ritual, to summon a Great One and maybe even visit the nightmare, a place that had been at the forefront of Micolash's research.

It wouldn't hurt to try.

“Alright.”, Micolash said. “I will spend a day with them and then decide.”

“See.”, Laurence smiled. “I knew it would be a good idea.”

“Just one thing.”, Micolash said, his face turning serious. “Isn't Yuria the leader of the choir? Why her? She did everything in her power to make our life in Byrgenwerth more difficult. How can you so easily trust her?”

Laurence' smile fell at once from his face and he put his tea cup down, stirring it with a spoon. Micolash found that strange, Laurence never put sugar or milk in his tea. He hated sweet things, though it wouldn't surprise Micolash if he actually had put salt in it.

“I don't.”, Laurence said. “That is why I have let her established the choir. To have control over her. If she would have continued her research outside of the church, all their research and knowledge would slip my mind. Believe me, I couldn't believe it myself when she came here and proposed to establish the choir, but I very much prefer her here, where I can watch over everything she and the choir are doing.”

“Just admit it, Laurence, you want me to spy on them.”, Micolash said.

“Maaaybe.”, Laurence said, putting the spoon down and taking another sip of the tea. “That should be all. Get a key to upper cathedral ward from Florence and tell the choir that I send you.”

Micolash knew that the conversation was over. He got up, said his good bye and left Laurence' office, found Florence not far away and got equipped with a key to the upper cathedral ward. Soon he was standing in front of the current choir members and their leader, Yuria.

“Oh, if it isn't Micotrash.”, Yuria taunted. “Don't tell me you want to join the choir.”

Ah, the old nickname. Micolash decided to not let him get to him, he had spend ten years in Byrgenwerth having to hear it and had gotten used to it, unless Laurence who would always flip when Yuria deliberately would call him Lawrence. Or Laurie. Micolash could tell him a thousand times that she just wanted to get a reaction out of him, but it didn't work. Their arguing had become infamous in Byrgenwerth.

“Actually, I do.”, Micolash said. “Lau... Vicar Laurence told me to come and spend a day with you, to help me decide if I want to join.”

“Well then, if you think you have it in you to become a proud member of the choir.”, Yuria said. “As much as it pains me to say it, but I know that you possess the intellect for our research. We can skip the written aptitude test then.”

Micolash actually wouldn't mind having to take the test. He always liked to take tests. They made him feel as if he accomplished something. Especially when he got the best grade.

“What would be next?”, Micolash asked.

“We have to see if the choir robes are looking good on you.”, Yuria said. Micolash doubted that this actually was a requirement, she probably just wanted to ridicule him. He knew that he wasn't possessing the most beautiful face in the world. Especially next to Laurence, the Vicar's face could be considered handsome in several aspects.

“Let's see if we have them in your size...”, Yuria said and gave one of the choir members a hand sign.

“You are even smaller than me, Yuria.”, Micolash said.

“Yes, but I am a woman.”, Yuria waved him aside. “You are awfully small for a man.”

Micolash scrunched up his face, but didn't say anything. Weren't these robes unisex anyway? Whatever, he wouldn't do her the favour to let her get a reaction out of him. The choir member Yuria had send away, returned shortly and handed him the robe. Yuria pointed to a door which turned out to be a small bathroom, clearly he was supposed to change in there.

When Micolash stripped his Byrgenwerth uniform, he felt strange. He always had liked the fabric and the feel of these clothes, so much that he pretty much considered it unbearable to wear something else, outside of a pajama and even that needed to be a very special fabric. Micolash never knew why he was so sensitive with clothes. The choir robe wasn't easy to put on, but he managed and it didn't feel as bad as he had imagined, but it was still irritating. He wondered if he would ever get used to it if he really would join the choir. Or if he would rip off the robes one day and put his old Byrgenwerth uniform back on.

Micolash left the bathroom and Yuria turned around to look at him, lifting her cap so that she could see him.

“Well well, I am impressed, you actually managed to put it on right the first time.”, she grinned. “Even though it looks a bit too big on you.”

“...Has Laurence ever tried one of these on?”, Micolash asked, suddenly interested why his friend still preferred to wear the black church set, even though the choir counted as the highest ranks in the church. He had his vicar robe's of course, but only would wear them for official stuff, never when he just was working in his office or roaming the streets of Yharnam.

“Oh yes, we have let him try it one.”, Yuria said. “He looked stunning in it. So stunning that we decided to tell him, that it wasn't his style. We can't let him steal the show, can we?”

“...Why do I have the feeling that there is more to that?”, Micolash said, trying to find any hints in Yuria's face at what she was thinking, but with her cap pulled down again, Micolash found it unable to do so.

“So, with the robes out of the way, there is only one thing left.”, Yuria lifted another blindfold cup up. “You know that to commune with the Great Ones means that the descent into madness is around every corner. That is why we need more eyes... but not in a literal sense, in a metaphorical sense. We blind ourselves so that we can see.”

Well, that certainly didn't make a lick of sense for Micolash. Master Willem had clearly told they needed more eyes, eyes inside their brains and Micolash had done his fair share to help him collect eyes, to unveil the mystery of the eyes, but he wouldn't complain. He accepted the cap and put it on his head, his vision going dark as soon as his eyes got covered. It made him feel... uneasy, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

“Well then, now let's change the location.”, Yuria said and Micolash felt how someone took his hand, if Yuria or someone else he couldn't say. He just decided to quietly follow them and see what hey had in stock. Or, erm, hear, he guessed. It was hard to see when his eyes were cover.

Micolash thought he could handle it fine, but after a minute or two, the fealing of unease suddenly turned into dread, his chest tightened and his heart seemed to pound twice as fast as usual. As he was still contemplating, if he should just run away, if Yuria had some sick and evil prank planned on him, he heard a voice... a voice he hadn't heard in years. Micolash instantly knew who that voice belonged to.

Him., he thought. Father...

Just like that, Micolash was back. Back in that cottage, back in that closet. He would always lock him away, it didn't matter what Micolash had done, it could have been something as having breathed too loudly. Micolash remembered that closet too well. It was dark and too warm and humid in the summers, dark and freezing in the winters. Whatever the season, it was always dark. Micolash could only orientate himself by touching his surroundings and mostly he remembered empty bottles and clothes. Clothes that felt uncomfortable, were too large for him and that wrapped around his head when he tried to stand up, making it even darker.

Micolash remembered sitting in that closet, shivering, sometimes begging him to let him out, often not saying anything, because he would get punished if he wasn't quiet. He would get punished for making a mess, even if he didn't had a say in it, because he couldn't leave the closet, couldn't ask to leave and he often had to spend hours in it. Or even days? Micolash didn't knew. He just knew that He often left and left Micolash alone, in that dark, tight place and he was so scared that this day He wouldn't return and Micolash would die in that closet, to never be found, because he doubted that anyone of the neighbours knew that he had a child in that cottage.

It was too much. Micolash couldn't sit through this a second longer. He ripped the blindfold cap off his hat and hurled it to the ground.

Yuria turned around at the sudden sound, a surprised “What?” slipping out of her, but Micolash just stood there violently panting.

“I.. I can't.”, he blurted out. “I can't blind myself! I need to see! I don't want to be in the dark, never ever again!”

He then ran away, all the way back to the room they had started in. He was fast, he knew that, he was one of the fastest kids in Byrgenwerth, because he always had ran away from Him, hoping that He would forget about it and not hit him when he came back eventually, hoping that He had passed out in his drunken rage.

Micolash only stopped once he was at the bathroom again, shedding the choir robe and slipping in his Byrgenwerth uniform, leaving the bathroom, running past a very confused Yuria and entering his room, where he stayed for a long while, shivering and sniffling because he had to relive these memories that he tried to forget.

Later, Laurence came by, brought some tea and told him that it was fine, if he didn't want to join the choir, though he looked a tiny bit disappointed. Micolash wasn't in the mood to talk, so Laurence left shortly after.

As Micolash laid on his bed, he noticed that there was something still in his pocket. As he checked it out, he had the key to upper cathedral ward in hand.

Even if he wasn't joining the choir, Micolash decided that he would definitely keep this. It would certainly come in handy, some day. (Author's note: Yuria is an OC I made up to be the first choir leader. She is Yurie's mother and I chose the name because it is a recurring one in Soulsborne, it felt like a given. She actually has always bullied and pranked both Laurence and Micolash when still in Byrgenwerth. I have a few more ideas about her and the choir, but I want to save them for myself for now. Also, I think that Micolash took the eyes a bit more literally. In the Lecture Hall we find glasses filled with eyes and he feels mad enough to try to plant eyes on his brain literally... While I think the choir tried a different approach. Judging by what the Choir achieved and what the School of Mensis achieved, I think the Choir had the right idea. We find the key to Upper Cathedral Ward in Yahar'gul, right?! It did had to land there somehow, so I like to think that Micolash kept it and later students of his school could borrow it. That is also how they managed to abduct choir members to experiment on them. Also, even in a story about Micolash, I can't leave out my favourite Vicar apparently...)

[hayleyarts]

Broken Without You (Jasper Hale x OC) | chapter 3

Author’s note: I’m not as proud of this part as I should be, but I’m still trying to develop some plot and character dynamics. there’s no warnings for this one, maybe some language, that’s about it. 

Previous part

Summary: Eleanor Rae visits with an old friend and contemplates her overthinking. She thinks that perhaps she simply needs to find her own safe place to calm down when life gets a little too much to handle. 

Word count: 1626

Track 03 - Nobody by Mitski 

It didn’t take long for me to arrive to the old diner downtown; I could probably drive there in my sleep. I was a frequent customer of the family owned establishment because my mom usually worked night shifts meaning I had to fend for myself for dinner. They were nice enough to let me work for a meal – doing odd jobs like dishwashing or taking out the garbage. Luckily for me, they’ve gotten to the point where they feed me for free. 

As I enter the diner, the little bell signals my arrival. Seth looks up from his spot behind the counter with the pot of coffee, greeting me with a smile, “Hey Ellie. You’re early?”

“Yeah you know, no rest for the wicked.” I smile at him. Seth Clearwater is probably the only person I’ve ever considered my friend; which I suppose is a little depressing considering that he’s almost seven years older than me and should clearly be in university instead of working at a restaurant. 

“Should I tell Cecil that you ditched?” He raises a brow quizzically at me.

“I’d rather you didn’t.” I narrow my eyes, sitting at the bar stool across from him. Seth was a lot different compared to everyone else in this town, but different in a good way. I’ve known him forever because his sister used to babysit me when I was younger. This is when my mom first started working the night shifts, and she was desperate to find someone to watch over me for cheap. Leah was more than willing to look after me whenever my mom was working; anything to get away from all her cousins who seemed to drive her crazy. I always got along with Seth, but something happened when he was sixteen; he started acting strange. I tried to ask his parents about it, but they couldn’t really say much to a nine-year-old without confusing them. He was gone all the time, and soon so was Leah; the Clearwater parents taking over the babysitting until I was old enough to look after myself. Finally, after what felt like forever, Seth finally started to spend time with me again, though he was still not the same Seth that I hung out with before. 

Seth started being really interested in my life and actually caring about me. When Maya and I had our falling out, he was the one who comforted me the whole time; threatening to beat the shit out of her friends. I always thought he was kidding, but I think he was being completely serious.

“Did something happen?” He wipes off the counter huffing a loose strand of hair out his face.

I roll my eyes, pulling the extra hair tie off my wrist and handing it to him. He smiles, taking it and quickly pulling his hair up in a ponytail. “Do you consider me a nobody?”

He raises a brow, “No? Who said you were?”

I huff, “Well no one, but it feels like everyone at school treats me like I’m invisible.”

Seth frowns, furrowing his brows, “Well you know how people are when it comes to gossip and not knowing how to move on from things,” He glances down at the counter, his knuckles clenching against the marble countertop, “You’re not a nobody and whatever people say about you is bullshit.”

“You really think people are still talking about the whole thing with my dad?” I rest my forehead down on the counter.

“I hope not, but you know how people are.” He sighs, wiping around where my head is before placing a clean mug down and pouring the black coffee in it. 

“Do you know the Cullen’s?” I glance up at him. His reaction was strange, he blinked and looked away quickly. His brows furrowed slightly before glancing back at me with a small smile. 

“Yeah, they’re family friends, why?”

I shrug, “They’re all dicks and they think they’re top shit because they drive fancy cars and are drop dead gorgeous.” I mumble quickly. 

“Okay, what did they do?” He chuckles, “They’re not all dicks. Maybe just Rosalie.”

I huff, sitting up and sipping the coffee, “They were gossiping and laughing at me at lunch today.”

“Are you sure?” Seth raises a brow, “Did you hear them say anything about you? Did you hear them laughing at you in particular?” I think about his question. I mean, technically no, I didn’t hear them talk about me in particular. They seemed to be just enjoying their lunch break. But if they weren’t talking about me, why did Jasper pay so much attention to me while they were talking? Did he know I was admiring him during history class and then again as they were entering the cafeteria? Did he care? Was that his way of showing how I was making him uncomfortable, by making me uncomfortable? 

“Well, no…” I shrug, glancing up at him. 

“Besides, maybe they just want to get to know you?” He raises a brow, “They’re good people so I wouldn’t doubt it.”

“How are you guys family friends? You’re like a million years older than them.” I furrow my brows.

Seth eyes me for a second, as if he was thinking about a response, “Carlisle and my dad were good friends.” I could tell he was lying, but I also didn’t want to question him about it considering his father passed away when he was seventeen. But there was something about his answer that didn’t sound too genuine. 

“Makes sense.” I nod, looking around the diner. It looked about how you imagine a small restaurant. After Sue bought it and fixed it up, she added some cultural art pieces on the walls of the Quileute tribe, bringing some life into the old building. The tables were completely redone with dark varnish and the seats all replaced. Seth ended up taking over when his mother got sick, trying to keep the restaurant alive. 

“Do you want me to get you something to eat?” Seth breaks my thoughts, “Did you have lunch?” 

I sigh softly, “Yeah I ate, don’t worry.” I take another long sip of the coffee before standing and stretching my back, “I’m probably going to go home.”

“Okay, well text if you need anything. I can bring you supper tonight if you need.” Seth smiles that boyish smile that he seemed to never grow out of. 

“I should be okay, but I’ll keep that in mind.” I make my way to the door. 

“Don’t make it a habit to skip Ellie.” 

I roll my eyes, flipping him off as I leave the restaurant, calling out, “Thanks Mom.” I laugh along with his faint chuckling, returning to my worn-down Jeep and hopping inside. I start the engine and pull out of the lot for the restaurant. The drive through town is depressing, the scenery all the same. The buildings all consisting of old brick and wood that has been falling apart for years. It’s when you leave the town’s boundaries, that’s when you’re faced with beauty that is the forests surrounding Forks, Washington. As I drive through the trees, I roll my windows down along with shutting off the radio; wanting to be completely emersed in the sounds of nature. 

As I approach the turn off for my house, I decide last minute to skip it; continuing my drive deeper into the forest. It got to the point where paved road turned to gravel and then the road stopped altogether. I pull over, shut off my Jeep and hop out. While surveying the scenery around me, I notice a few deer off in the distance. I’ve never been this far out in before; usually I take my usual scenic drive home and that was it. Something was telling me to come out here, and I’m not sure why, but I wanted to hike deeper in. I tighten my ponytail and begin my hike on the path between the trees. 

I definitely didn’t have the right choice of shoes for a hike; wearing converse I’ve had for years. I try to take a step over a tree root, almost losing my footing all together. It was nice, however, being able to be alone in silence. While other high schoolers are out partying, I’d rather be here, in the silence of nature. It was freeing being alone. I’ve always wondered if I disappeared in the woods for a few days if anyone would notice. Within town, I’m invisible, but here among the moss-covered trees, I feel important. 

I smile as I approach a clearing in the trees, and I’m met with the most beautiful field of daises. It felt like a completely different world; the sun shining on the greenest grass and butterflies fluttering from flower to flower. This isn’t the rainy world I was used to. I run through the flowers to the middle of the clearing, plopping down on the slightly damp grass. I lay back, watching the clouds float by. 

“Wow…” I mumble to myself as I take a deep breath, relaxing back into the soft grass. This place seemed to radiate in an energy I’ve never experienced. Everything seemed happy and calm and there weren’t any worries. Why was I drawn here? Did the universe know about my stress and anxiety and wanted to calm me down? I’ve always believed everyone has their own place in the world, and I just haven’t found mine yet. Maybe my place is this meadow in the middle of my small rainy world. As I lay in the sunlight, all my worries disappear. There are no ex-friends, no gossiping strangers, and no Cullen’s. It’s just me and the meadow; a nobody in a field of daisies.

[ddproductionsw77]

Watching You Watch Her

Fandom: IT (Muschietti Films)

Pairing(s): Pining but not established Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak), Richie Tozier x Sandy Montgomery (OC), Stenbrough (Stanley Uris x Bill Denbrough) and Benverly (Ben Hanscom x Beverly Marsh), Mike Hanlon x Mila Roberts (OC)

Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon, Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Sandy Montgomery (OC), Mila Roberts (OC)

Rating: T

Description: Eddie struggles with the fact that Richie has a girlfriend, one that is actually pretty much perfect.

Author’s Note: I realized that I have literally no fics in the Losers Of ’89 collection with pining Richie or Eddie being the main focus. It’s unacceptable so I decided to change that. Hope you guys like it.

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Why did she have to be so fucking great?

Eddie contemplated this question as he watched Sandy Montgomery from across the room,  cuddled up against the side of his best friend. Richie’s arm was sling over her shoulders and with her free hand, she had reached up to intertwine her fingers with his. He was absentmindedly tracing from her knuckles to the blood red fingernails that matched her shade of lipstick and the ribbon in her hair oh-so-fucking perfectly while he talked enthusiastically with Mike beside him.

Mike was a traitor, Eddie thought as he narrowed his eyes on them and took a sip from his red solo cup, grimacing slightly at the concoction Beverly had made him. Mike had promised him that if he came to the stupid fucking party with the rest of them that he and his current girlfriend, Mila, would stay by his side. Mike was across the room and Mila was doing shots with Beverly in the kitchen. And Eddie was standing against the wall all alone, per usual.

They were probably talking about their fucking stupid band. Richie played guitar decently and Mike could drum. They’d just started playing together at the start of the school year a couple months back and now it was all they fucking discussed.

Sighing, Eddie rolled his eyes and felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head to find Stanley sliding into place beside him. He quirked an eyebrow and had to practically yell to the other to be heard over the music, “I thought you weren’t coming?”

“It’s Jack Colins’ party. I’m not leaving Bill alone with all these drunk baseball players.” Stan sighed, looking out at the room.

Eddie shrugged. Jack Colins was the captain of Derry High’s baseball team, which Bill had played main pitcher for since Sophomore year. He, Mike, Ben and Bev were the only reason the Losers had even been invited as the athletes of the group. Mike was the varsity star quarterback and Ben and Bev both ran track and field.

His eye line fell back upon Richie and Sandy and he felt annoyance flare to life in his chest. Before he could stop himself, he said, “Sandy wasn’t even invited.”

Stanley eyed him from the corner of his eye before sighing, “She’s Richie’s girlfriend. Loser by association, right? Those are the rules so she gets the same invites the rest of us do. Mila, too.”

Eddie set his jaw before taking another long gulp from his drink, “I know that. But we came up with those rules in middle school, when we were desperate for friends. It’s different now.”

“Different because?” Stanley asked, turning to give Eddie a hard look.

Eddie glanced away and shrugged, taking another drink, “Just because, okay? You’re dating another Loser, it’s not like it affects you anyway.”

“Are you jealous?” Stanley asked, bluntly.

Eddie nearly choked on his drink, sputtering and stammering, “What?! Why—Why would I be— I’m not jealous!”

Stan shrugged, looking between his friend and the other Losers across the room, “It would make sense, Eddie.”

Would it? Eddie thought, following Stan’s gaze to Richie, who was still wrapped around beautiful, funny, perfect Sandy. Would it make sense?

“You’re the only Loser who isn’t dating right now.” Stan continued, having not noticed the way that Eddie had tensed up.

Eddie felt himself deflate slightly and slipped his eyes closed, leaning back against the wall and nodding slowly. Clearing his throat, he glanced at Stan before nodding and looking at his feet, “Right… yeah, because I’m not dating anyone…”

“Speak of the devils,” Stan muttered and Eddie looked up to see Mike, Richie and Sandy heading toward them. He bit back a groan and kept his expression neutral as they approached.

“Hey, Stan The Man, came to keep an eye on your boy toy?” Richie asked with that twinkle in his eye he always got when mildly intoxicated. Eddie wondered if Sandy noticed it too before shaking the runaway thought from his mind. He couldn’t think like that, it was wrong and, more importantly, it was pointless.

Stanley said nothing, just gave Richie a look before pushing off the wall and muttering, “I’m going to go find Bill.”

Mike slipped into the spot Stan had been in a nudged Eddie, “Where’s Mila? I thought she was going to hang with you?”

“She went with Bev to do some shots in the kitchen,” Eddie shrugged, looking down into his cup.

“Damn! That sounds fun!” Sandy’s melodic voice exclaimed, drawing Eddie’s attention back up without his consent. He watched as she looked up at Richie and gently tapped his cheek, “You’re lucky I like you and am willing to stay sober enough to drive your drunk ass home.”

“I know and I cherish you, San,” Richie muttered, burying his face in the think, curly hair a top her head.

Eddie glanced away and met Mike’s eyes, “I can take you to find Mila.”

“Nah,” Richie cut in, looking over at them with his chin resting on Sandy’s hair, “I got it. I need a refill anyway. Eds? Need anything to drink?”

Mike moved to stand with Richie, who was finally detaching himself from his girlfriend, as Eddie shrugged and shook his head, instinctually snapping, “Don’t call me Eds. And no, I’m fine.”

“Cool,” Richie nodded and quickly leaned down to kiss Sandy, “Play nice, I’ll be back.”

“Later, Loser,” Sandy laughed, shoving him away. He laughed, shortly squeezing her hand before letting her go and following after Mike.

Why did they have to be so good together?

Eddie sighed, inspecting his cup closely to avoid looking at Sandy and thus being pulled into a conversation with her. She wasn’t bad to talk to or anything… she was actually really nice and funny, which just made it all the more fucking worse.

He shouldn’t feel this way… he had no reason on Earth to feel this way…

His luck ran out within a minute as Sandy looked around the room, her eyes falling on him as her redrum lips curled into a smile, “Eddie? Can I ask you something?”

No, he wanted to say. Fuck off, he wanted to add. But he didn’t.

Instead, he just shrugged and muttered too quiet for her to hear over the music, “Free fucking country.”

Sandy ran her gaze over his face before crossing her arms over her chest and saying loudly, “So, you really don’t like me, huh?”

His stomach dropped and he stood there for a long moment, opening and closing him mouth as he stared at her like a fucking deer in headlights.

He… he should say she was wrong, right? Wasn’t that what a good friend would do? What a best friend should do? Because he was still Richie’s best friend, right? Besides, he really had no rhyme or reason for not liking her. At least not one that made sense and didn’t make him out to be a total dick.

Finally, he managed to shake his head, “No! I— I don’t not like you, Sandy. I— I don’t even really know you.”

“And you don’t really try to,” She cocked her head to the side, “Actually, most of the time it feels like you’re avoiding me, trying to duck out of talking to me and I just wanted to know, you know, why?”

“Why?” Eddie echoed, still floored. Sandy was watching him with observant but unbothered eyes. If she really felt like he didn’t like her, it was clear that she didn’t care all that much about his opinion. He blinked and looked away before glancing back at her, “I don’t—“

“Is it because you don’t think I’m right for Richie?” She asked, tucking some of her flowing hair behind her ear, which was pierced in three places. Jesus, if he brought home a girl like her to his mother… It could possibly be worse than the way he was sure she’d react to finding out he was gay.

“No!” Eddie shook his head instantly, “That’s not it!”

“So you admit it, then? You admit you don’t like me?” Sandy quipped, a flash of something like triumph in her lush green eyes, those lips forming a confident smirk.

Eddie’s mouth slammed shut again and he shuffled uncomfortably, shaking his head and looking anywhere but at her. It felt like she was picking him apart, taking his walls away brick by brick and worming her way behind his exterior to the things he didn’t want anyone, especially her, to see. Again, he didn’t know what to say and he figured anything he managed to come up with, Sandy wouldn’t listen to anyway.

She’d already made up her mind that she knew everything. That she was totally right…

She was right, though, wasn’t she?

“Come on, that’s gotta be it, Eds. You think I’m wrong for Rich—“

“Do not fucking call me that,” Anger flared, hot and fierce in his chest, roaring up his throat and burning it. He spun his head back to look at her, glaring and continuing on hotly, “That’s not fucking it, Sandy, okay? You’re fucking perfect for Richie, you’re goddamn everything he’s ever wanted! It’s great, really, is it! I just don’t like you because I don’t fucking like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Sandy watched him as he practically yelled at her before falling silent. She sighed, shrugging, “I mean, I don’t think that’s something anyone wants to hear but okay. There’s hundreds of personalities out there, some are bound to clash.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Eddie rolled his eyes, spotting Richie head back their way with Mike and Mila trailing behind him, “I’m leaving now, Sandy.”

He ended up having to walk home, as Mike had been his ride.

_____________________________________________________________________

Two weeks after the party, Eddie had finally started to wind down from the whole thing. He’d spent almost all his time since waiting for Richie to confront him about being a dick to his girlfriend but he never did. Sandy must have not told him… shocking, really, with how wrapped around each other those two were.

Maybe it should have endeared him somewhat to her, having some secret that she’d kept, but it didn’t. He still felt like screaming every time she sat with them at lunch, on Richie’s other side, and wanted to throw up when he caught sight of his best friend leaning over to whisper some sweet nothing into her ear. It was getting to the point where he was avoiding ever hanging out with the Losers anymore because she was just always fucking there. There on Bill’s couch, snuggled into Richie’s side while they watched movies, there in the library, passing notes to Beverly about Bev’s clothing sketches, there all the time.

He couldn’t get away from Sandy and Richie and their nauseating obsession with each other.

However, he had agreed to pattering along with Mike to a rehearsal for his and Richie’s band in their bassist’s, Danny’s, garage.

Danny was fine… maybe even cute when Eddie gave him a little more attention but he wasn’t all that interesting or entertaining. Good enough at bass, though, Eddie guessed as he sat on the couch in the corner of the garage, reading his assigned book while the guys practiced.

“We could try You Shook Me All Night Long?” Danny suggested, playing with some cords on his bass nonsensically.

Richie shot him a look, “Can you fucking sing Brian Johnson, Danny? Cuz, I sure as hell can’t. I can barely manage some of Jagger’s range so no, we’re not going to try You Shook Me All Night Long. Ideas, Micycle?”

“I don’t care, Rich,” Mike sighed, glancing over at Eddie, who was still hunched over his book, “Something from Queen? We’re decent with Under Pressure or Another Bites The Dust.”

“See, Danny?” Richie snarked, pointing to Mike, “That’s what a good idea sounds like, you should try it on for size sometime.”

Mike laughed as Danny flipped Rich the bird before starting the iconic bass line for Under Pressure. Hearing this, Eddie glanced up, his eyes immediately finding Richie. He watched as the spastic asshole looked back at Mike, nodding in unison before they both joined Danny and started singing at the same time.

Eddie loved Queen… And he loved watching Richie play. Watching Mike and Richie play, that is.

Eyes trailing to follow Richie’s spidery digits as they found the cords on muscle memory alone, he suddenly felt like all the air had gone from his lungs, like Henry Bowers had just clocked him cold in the gut. Biting his lip, he forced his head back down and stared at the words on the page before him but not reading a single word.

All he could think about was that look of earnest concentration on Richie’s face that he only got when he was still getting comfortable playing a song…

He let out a breath of air and felt his face burn. Fucking humiliating.

Humiliating and pointless.

They played through the song and followed it by striking up the rhythm of Everybody Wants To Rule The World and then playing into Bastards of Young. After that song, Richie called for a break, eyeing the clock. He sighed, “Alright, San just got off work so she’ll be here in a bit, that cool, Danny?”

Danny shrugged, “I don’t care. Just don’t, like, fuck in my house.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and forced the image of Sandy and Richie intimately wrapped up together from his mind as he heard Richie chuckle, “I swear to save all the fucking for her place later, Danny Fanny.”

Jumping up from his seat on the couch so that his book went tumbling to the floor, Eddie hastily snatched it up and ran a hand down his face, “I—Uh—I just remembered I gotta go so I’m just going to—“

“Seriously?” Richie asked, eyebrows drawing together. “You have to leave?”

“I— Yeah, my mom’s got, like, a thing so I’ll just walk back home before she freaks the fuck out,” Eddie shrugged, being uncharacteristically rough as he shoved his book into his backpack and kept his eyes on the ground.

Richie sighed, watching him, “Why are you so fucking busy all the time, now? You skip movie nights, you flake out of study sessions at Bev’s and Bill’s… It sucks, we barely hang out anymore, Eds.”

Eddie let out a humorless laugh and shot Richie a look, “Yeah, because that’s my fault.”

“Guys…” Mike broke in, raising his eyebrows.

At the same time, Richie rubbed the back of his neck and shot back, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Eddie huffed, turning back to face Richie fully, “You’re the one who’s been too busy shoving your tongue down some random girl’s throat to make plans, not me.”

“Some random girl?” Richie snapped, sounding genuinely angry for the first time in the conversation, “Sandy’s not some random girl. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie shook his head, “So, I’ll just wait the month or however long this one’s gonna last and then just hang out with you after.”

“Eddie!” Mike scolded, shaking his head.

Danny was watching the two like they were a tennis match.

Richie turned his head away, laughing to himself in a humorless fashion before nodding and looking back at Eddie, “You know what? Fuck you, Eds. At least I’ve been in more relationships than just one four-day long fling from a year ago. What are you, twelve?”

Eddie glared, jaw set as he slung his bag over his shoulders, “Fuck you, too, asshole. As there’s even anyone in Derry worth wasting my time on.”

With that, he shoved his way out of the garage and out of the house, heart still hammering in his chest and his blood boiling. Why was everyone always so fucking obsessed with how many people you’d dated anyways? And it wasn’t like he had a ton of options, being gay in Derry, anyway and Richie fucking knew that!

Crossing his arms over his chest, he made it to the end of the driveway before Mike caught him.

“Eddie!” He heard his friend calling to him, “Eddie, come on, wait!”

Throwing his head back dramatically, he spun on his heel to face him, “What do you want, Mike?”

Mike stopped before him, opening and closing his mouth and glancing away before sighing and rubbing his hands together, “You… you can’t really be mad.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! He said—“

Mike cut him off before his voice could rise up too high, “He said what he did because you started it! And you… really don’t have a right to start stuff about him and Sandy.”

“A right?” Eddie demanded, “What does that even—“

“You could have done something about it, Eddie,” Mike broke in again forcefully before sighing again and continuing softer and more somber, “You— you had every chance to make a move and you didn’t.”

Eddie stood there in Danny Costello’s driveway and felt like sinking right through the crust of the Earth so that he could burn up in the fucking core. That would be better than this, then having this conversation, because this couldn’t be happening. No one— No one could know that he—

He swallowed and stared at Mike, barely whispering, “I— I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Mike let out a long breath and nodded, keeping Eddie’s gaze, “Well, I think you do… And you can’t be mad at him for not waiting around for you to do something about it.”

“I’m not mad,” Eddie answered without thinking, “And I’m not— I didn’t expect— I don’t— Mike, I — I gotta go. My mom— I gotta go.”

He nearly tripped over himself in his haste to get away.

_______________________________________________________________________

It was movie night again and Eddie had forced himself to go.

He was being ridiculous, he had realized that on his walk home from the band rehearsal two days before. He was the one with the problem. He was being unreasonable, he was being crazy. And in the long run, it wouldn’t matter one way or another what Sandy thought of him but it would matter if Richie was mad.

His own idiocy wasn’t worth fighting, really fighting, with Richie. They didn’t fight, well, at least not the kind of fighting where they ended up honestly mad at each other. They snapped, they bickered, they argued but they didn’t ever mean any of it. It was just the way they were and Eddie wasn’t willing to risk that just because he was being a fucking psycho.

He’d gone to Richie’s locker first thing the next day and apologized. He even taken it a step further, promising he would make time to get to movie night that week… Which was how he’d wound up in his current situation.

It wasn’t actually bad yet, he thought, laughing as he watched Beverly, Mike, and Bill playing flip cup, without alcohol as Bill’s mother was upstairs, around the coffee table before him.

Richie, and by extension Sandy, hadn’t gotten there yet, his eyes unwittingly flickering to the other end of the couch, where the two usually snuggled. His chest constricted and he almost reached for the inhaler he didn’t carry anymore before grasping the pillow he had been hugging tighter.

Stupid.

“D—Dammit, Bev, how are you suh—so good?” Bill asked, leaning back on his hands as Beverly won yet another round against him and Mike.

The red head winked at him, adding, “I’m even better at beer pong.”

“We know,” Mike rolled his eyes, reaching up to flick one of the empty solo cups at her. Beverly easily caught it in air and set it on the edge of the table, flipping it in one try before giving Mike a cocky smile.

“Where’s Mila?” She asked as she gathered up the other cups and handed them up to Ben, who took them out to the kitchen for her.

Mike rolled his eyes, “She had to work and she refused to switch shifts with her friend because I guess she’s mad at me for something, I don’t know. She said she wants a night where she doesn’t have to see my face.”

Beverly laughed, leaning into Ben’s side as he took his spot beside her once again. From the chair over to the side, Stanley glanced over at them from his homework, “Well, you must have done something. Mila is the first sane girl you’ve dated.”

“I think she’s bugged that I cancelled plans to meet her parents this weekend,” Mike shrugged, “I didn’t want to but my grandpa said he needs me all weekend to help with this seasons harvest.”

“Still,” Bill said, shaking his head, “C—Can’t cancel on the SO’s p—parents, Mike.”

Mike was about to respond when the front door flew open, causing half of them to jump. Eddie, so thoroughly desensitized to Richie’s dramatic entrances, merely glanced over his shoulder and felt his heart jump into his throat. Richie was grinning, actually grinning, not the smirk-smile thing he did most of the time, and he was alone.

He felt his palms grow sweaty as he turned around fully to greet the trashmouth, “You’re late, asshole.”

Richie raised his eyebrows at him, still smiling wide and real, “Am I? Whoops.”

Behind Eddie, on the floor Beverly shot him a playful glare, “Yeah, Trashmouth, and it’s your turn to pick the movie, too, so we couldn’t even start anything without you.”

“Right,” Richie laughed a little and shook his head to himself.

Eddie’s eyebrows drew together and he glanced over his shoulder at Stanley, who also looked perplexed. Something was off. Usually about now, Richie would make some joke about how his pick for the week was some porn knock-off of a famous movie or something like that. He’d have already climbed over the back of the couch and pinched Eddie’s cheeks, saying hi and commenting about how cute he looked.

Instead, he was still just standing there, smiling to the point Eddie was starting to wonder if he was high on something.

Stanley spoke before he could, asking, “What are you giggling about, Trashmouth?”

Richie reached up, rubbing the back of his neck, and laughed again before declaring dramatically, “My dearest friends, I have come to the conclusion that I am completely obsessed, utterly in love, totally devoted!”

Before he could stop it, Eddie felt his expression go slack, his lips parting slightly as his breath caught in his throat.

Richie didn’t seem to noticed that or anything else, throwing his arms skyward as he rambled on, “I am in love with Sandra Penelope Montgomery and I must declare my love to the Heavens!”

“Please,” Eddie heard Beverly’s voice from somewhere distant, even though he was sure she was within reaching distance behind him, “Don’t do that, Tozier. But congratulations, I like Sandy. She’s good for you.”

“Yeah, that’s awesome, Rich,” Ben, again sounding miles away, added.

Eddie blinked, feeling the air in his throat and lungs like a fire that was licking him up from within. He couldn’t look at Richie, at his big, wide smile anymore, his eyes darting to his hands instead as he heard all the others cracking jokes or talking about how fucking great Sandy was and how happy they were for Richie. He wanted to join them, wanted to be happy for Richie too, but instead all he felt was that burning and a sense that he was on the verge of an asthma attack.

Breaking into a coughing fit, grasping his throat, he muttered something about needing water and bolted for the kitchen. He barely stumbled through the door but managed, going to the sink and turning the cold water on to full blast.

Each breath of air felt like pins and needles in his lungs and he felt his eyes prickle with tears as he reached out to grasp the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. His vision was becoming tunneled and it hit him a like a Mac truck that he was having a panic attack. A full blown, real deal panic attack.

He was having a panic attack and he wasn’t sure wether he was going to pass out, vomit down his front or just fall over dead right there. All he was sure of was that something awful was happening, something so awful he couldn’t even think it without wanting to cry.

Leaning down, he forced his eyes closed, taking in one breath at a time. He started off shaky and lightheaded by slowly, slowly managed to achieve some semblance of steady oxygen flow before he felt a hand fall onto his back. He jumped, standing up straight and whirling around to find Mike leaning against the counter beside him.

Eddie met the other boy’s eyes and quickly darted his gaze away, shame and embarrassment welling in his. He looked up at the ceiling, letting out a long, shaken breath before barely whispering, for only Mike to hear, “He’s in love with her.”

“I know...” Mike mumbled, shifting beside his friend, unsure of how exactly to help. He settled on reaching out to rub Eddie shoulder, “I’m— Eddie, I really am sorry.”

Eddie shook his head, being his hands up to run them down his face, whipping away any tears that he slipped through his defenses, “It doesn’t matter.”

He wasn’t completely sure who he was trying to convince, himself or Mike. Either way it was true. It didn’t matter, how he felt about Richie, how Richie felt about Sandy, none of it. It never had. Because so what if Mike had been right? So what if he did have feelings for Richie? Not a single part of it changed what was happening now. Richie was in love with Sandy and Eddie...

He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head at himself before turning his head to Mike, “I’m fine Mike, I just need some water. You’re going to miss the start of the movie. Just, go.”

Mike watched him carefully for another minute before nodding slowly and slipping out of the kitchen. Eddie stood there alone for another minute, feeling that overwhelming sense of dread wash over him again but this time keeping himself together despite it. He bit his lip hard and bounced on the spot, taking more deep breathes before turning around and getting himself a glass of water.

He wasn’t dead, he reminded himself.

He could live with Richie being in love with Sandy. He could move past that, right? Surely.

Eddie’s brain flickered back to that sight of Richie, smiling bigger than he thought he’d ever seen, coming into the house just moments ago. Richie, looking happier than Eddie could remember him being in a long time. That couldn’t be a bad thing, could it?

Richie being happy?

He could survive this, live with the burning in his chest. As long as Richie was happy, he could do that easily.

Gulping his water, Eddie schooled his expression into a casual smile and went back to the living room to watch whatever dumb ass movie Richie had picked with his friends.

As long as Richie was happy, Eddie would find a way to be fine with it.

[thunderbirds-are-fab]

The Mechanic

An unnecessarily long fan essay examining the character ‘The Mechanic’ from Thunderbirds are Go by thunderbirds-are-fab

Pretty much since the Mechanic was first revealed as an upcoming character to be introduced into Thunderbirds are Go, he’s been surrounded by mystery. There were a lot of wild fan theories about who he could be and if he was related to any original character in particular (He was either Brains’ brother or his father, Kyrano gone mad, and even Jeff in some weird disguise trying to traumatise his children to someone), but he has since turned out to be a completely new character and therefore had a lot of possibilities as to how he could fit into the established TAG universe.

Sadly, two seasons since his introduction we still don’t know all that much about him or his super villain origin story, and with the conclusion of Season 3 we likely never will. The writers put this guy on the back shelf, and this is why I’m writing an essay piecing together all the messy details we have regarding the character of the Mechanic. It turns out there’s quite a lot to talk about, so get comfy.

*Episode spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Seasons 2 and 3*

The biggest tease about the Mechanic was his hinting that he knows Brains very well or even personally in Earthbreaker, but after that it’s not really brought up again. Massive wasted potential there. He made it sound like he and Brains were old rivals from long ago, but Brains doesn’t show any signs of recognising him. Brains himself never really reacts to the Mechanic’s hints that they might know each other during Earthbreaker or after, and never even tries to guess at who this masked engineer may be, which feels ridiculous.

“Hey Brains, in all your years of being one of the world’s best engineers, did you ever meet anyone in your field of expertise who was capable of making an army of robots completely on his own, looked like he could bench press MAX with one hand, and maybe seemed a little power-hungry and unhinged?”

“Nope, sorry. That sounds like it could have been anyone.”

Surely if they were both brilliant inventors working on similar stuff, they would have mutually run into each other before???

Not only does Brains not keep up his end of the ‘we-may-know-each-other’ plotline to make it believable, but after Earthbreaker the writers seem to drop it from the Mechanic’s character too. He doesn’t show the same ominous bias towards focusing on Brains again whenever he crosses paths with IR, and if anything he seems to reacts with distrust towards Brains when he first offers to help him in Home on the Range. In Brains vs Brawn Brains offers to help him again, but still acts wary of him wanting to get close. If they had known each other before then this could have been a great bonding moment for them to reconnect and win each other’s trust, but instead Brains has to use the promise of “engineer to engineer” which is as far as their personal connection seems to go in the end.

Brains also only ever calls him “the Mechanic” the same as everyone else does, and going into Season 3 this lack of a proper name becomes more of a problem for the Mechanic’s character as a whole. We finally see him without his mask in Chaos Part 2, but a face reveal is all it is. It’s not a grand finale Scooby-Doo moment of “Aha! It was old man Jenkins the janitor all along!”, and this again feels like wasted potential to me. What’s the point of having a masked villain if he’s still exactly the same person without the mask, just a little sadder?

Between being taken into GDF custody in Brains vs. Brawn and then being negotiated for release in Break Out (a 20 episode gap, which is quite a long time span in TAGverse), the GDF don’t seem to have done any background check on him whatsoever. Everyone, including Colonel Casey, still refers to him as “the Mechanic”. If even the in-world authorities couldn’t find this guy’s original identity, then it seems that the entirety of who he was before never existed, and that’s because the writers never properly wrote it. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the TAG writers and have rarely had to fault them on anything in 78 episodes, but fitting their OCs into the series for more than an episode or two is by far their biggest weakness *coughcoughwhydidn’tyouuseEOSmorecough*

His backstory was clearly set up before his introduction, but then scrapped for whatever reason. Perhaps with everything else going on in the show they simply didn’t have time for it? This I can understand, because there’s only so much time in a children’s show and action has to come first in this genre, but it opens up a lot of additional plot holes when you keep trying to build a story on top of a poorly-established character.

What I’m trying to get at here is that without ever having his personal motivations revealed, looking back on the Mechanic’s pervious actions in the story gets a lot more confusing, and makes his character development and the plot development between Season 2 and 3 more difficult to understand.

I’ll split these last points into two parts:

1.    How do we know he built the the T-Drive when he’s unidentifiable?

In Break Out it’s suddenly revealed that the Mechanic was the engineer who designed the first T-Drive engine/Zero-X prototype... But how? How do they now know that??? Surely being the engineer who came up with this fantastic revolutionary warp drive for the spaceship that allegedly killed the great Jeff Tracy would make this guy pretty famous? His former name should probably be common knowledge, and yet he’s still only ever called the Mechanic. It’s been suggested to me on anon that maybe he’s shunned his former name in favour of the Mechanic moniker, which is fine, except that’s no reason for all of the other characters never to speak his true name even when he’s not there to hear it. To us he’s still just the villain we were introduced to, never the man he was before. Without being shown how that past and him today are linked, it’s difficult for us as an audience to attach such important prior information to a character who doesn’t seem to have previously existed.

2.    Was he ever really a true villain, or was it all because of the Hood? And does his change of heart make sense?

We’re never told how the Mechanic came to be. Why did he go from brilliant engineer, to turning over to the dark side and becoming a puppet of the Hood? In Break Out he hints that the Hood manipulated his bitterness over ~something~ in order to get him to work under him, but again it’s frustratingly vague! In the beginning we assumed it was through some personal grudge with Brains, but as I’ve already gone through at length, all that backstory just got washed away. Another anon has suggested to me that his rivalry with Brains was manufactured by the Hood. He didn’t know Brains personally, but developed a grudge against him through being compared. “Brains is brilliant, but you’re a failure”... because of the Zero-X disaster? He’s clearly as good as or even better than Brains when it comes to inventing things, so he had to have had something big happen to him in order to spiral downwards as he did. The Zero-X disaster would certainly fit the bill for that, but it’s a shame to leave all that to speculation. If it were true, then would it have been so hard to fit that into the show?

Anyway, the Hood somehow fostered a hatred for IR in him that served his own motives, and so began their partnership. He’s clearly very strong, so that’s probably why the Hood needed extra control over him via cybernetics. It’s in Brains vs. Brawn that we first learn that the Mechanic is at least partially being controlled by the Hood. Since the Hood spent most of Season 2 in jail, this was maintained through a connection between his bionic eye and some kind of cybernetics that the Mechanic has (forcibly implanted by the Hood or just already there and hacked, we don’t know). Partially coerced and partially forced, but we will never really know how much of each.

The Mechanic is a lot more violent than the Hood ever is on his own. The Hood may not care much for other people or the collateral damage he causes (e.g. in Falling Skies he’s fine with abandoning the Estrella Grand hotel full of people to crash and burn if he decides that he doesn’t want it anymore), but it isn’t really his priority. For the whole of Season 3 he makes the Chaos Crew do the physical dirty work he doesn’t care for (btw I let the Chaos Crew off for not having much background story because their “we’re bad just because we enjoy being that way” motive stays fairly consistent throughout the show. They aren’t that complicated). 

In contrast, the Mechanic has frequently plowed forward with no regard for anyone’s safety. He doesn’t make sneaking around his Plan A like the Hood, and he doesn’t hit and run for fun like the Chaos Crew. He’s brutal. Earthbreaker really sets him up for being a ruthless villain because he’s so focused on getting what he wants that he’s willing to take down anyone who gets in his way. Even when Scott asks for him just to let IR work around him to rescue the civilians below, he attacks! He’s a genuinely scary and thrilling character for how relentlessly destructive he manages to be every time she shows up in Season 2. Seriously, just read his wiki page and you’ll see it’s got ‘perfect villain traits’ written all the way through it.

Then comes the redemption arc.

In Brains vs. Brawn he is subdued and chooses to trust that Brains can redeem him. In Break Out he shows remorse for his actions. He believes that he deserves to be in prison and is beyond redemption for what he’s done. He puts Kayo’s safety before his own and saves her life. He could have disappeared, but instead comes to Tracy Island of his own free will and voluntarily works with his former enemies. That’s a pretty big change from someone who was hellbent on destruction regardless of innocent people begging for their lives! It’s a pretty big ask to believe that all of that relentless anger and complete apathy towards human life was only there because the Hood was in control the whole time.

There’s something else which leads me to believe that “I was being controlled by the Hood” isn’t the watertight excuse it’s presented as. The Mechanic makes it sound like he’s totally stuck and irredeemable without the Hood’s control being removed, but prior to that happening in Buried Treasure he makes choices of his own that the Hood could’ve stopped.

Between being dumped by the Hood in Escape Proof and Brains vs. Brawn, he’s pretty much a villain under his own steam. He’s working independently on continuing Project Sentinel, which has the aim of using to destroy the Hood for having control over him. Sure, he may only be doing bad things because he’s desperate for revenge against his abuser, but he’s still willfully endangering a lot of other people in the process. The Hood may have lost interest in him during that period, but the control system was still in place that whole time - and he was resisting it! If he can manage to hide himself from the Hood and work directly against him despite that, then he still has some free will of his own.

In Chaos - Part 2 Havoc learns the Mechanic is in space prison, which is why the Hood has lost control over him. Arguably the HEX probably had a faraday cage around his prison cell to block the Hood’s influence, and it is stated that it’s harder for the Hood to influence him from space anyway. But after breaking out and coming to Tracy Island of his own free will, shouldn’t being back on earth have put him back under influence again? The only time he had to fight against the Hood’s direct control after that was when Brains disturbed the control software and alerted the Hood, who then suddenly reveals that he has a fail-safe that can wipe the Mechanic’s memories. Wow. If he could really do that, then why didn’t he do so in Escape Proof and not leave the Mechanic as the potential enemy that he turned out to be? Sure, he later says that he still has plans for the Mechanic, but you would think that during Brains vs. Brawn when he’s getting shot at by a giant lazer whilst being thrown around by IR, and the Mechanic is resisting his commands to stop, that then would have been the ideal time to use the secret factory reset ability?  

Afterthoughts aside, I’m still convinced that the Mechanic had a lot of evil in himself that wasn’t just there because of the Hood, and it’s really a wonder that the Tracys let him into heir home after how many times he tried to kill them. i really don’t blame Scott for staying suspicious, even though he was the one most obviously anxious to find a way to get his father back. 

Despite all the questions that the show failed to answer about him, I still think that the Mechanic was a good villain. Whatever his super villain origin story was supposed to be, I think it had a lot more potential to be morally complex than the origin they ended up giving the Hood. It’s a shame that writers across the board these days often don’t have the time to write villains more complex than the trope of “once upon a time somebody made me sad, so I decided to be evil to get revenge”. I know that somebody out there will be looking at this unnecessarily long post and screaming But fab, it’s just a kid’s show! Kids won’t care about tying up offscreen plotlines or any of this crap! And my answer is yes, I know that. That’s why I’m not actually mad about what the writers did with the Mechanic’s character. The writers of TAG did a great job and the show works as it is, but I can’t help but feel that they only had to push a little more or add a line or two somewhere and then all of these questions I have about the Mechanic could have been answered. A little backstory goes a long way in fleshing out a character, and Thunderbirds is a franchise with a lot of history.

[fountainpenguin]

S and T for the ask

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

> Bittersweet endings. I don’t like completely perfect or completely depressing ends… I like little nibbles of both.

> Witty banter. Never get tired of it.

> I’m not normally one for AUs, but I love college AUs for worlds that don’t have a college equivalent. What do they study? I must know.

> Fleshing unliked/overlooked side character out with an interesting backstory and cool hobbies.

> We dislike each other but have to keep up appearances.

> Smooth, probably sexually experienced character is easily flustered.

> Alternatively: smooth character flirts with someone, takes it too far, and instantly backpedals while screaming internally.

> Sharing space on a road trip.

> Soft holiday stories! Especially fantasy holidays, because then I’m falling in love with the worldbuilding and pleased that the characters are happy.

> Blind dates.

> Tired but loving single parent who works very hard

> Two tired parents working very hard, so glad they’re in this together

> Someone falls in love with a single parent, asks their kid(s) permission to marry their parent, and lets kid help them pick out a ring and participate in wedding plans.

> HEALTHY!!! STEP-FAMILIES!!!

> Jerk messed with the wrong person and now they’re in for it… We don’t know when… but oh, they’re in for it.

> Petty villains (“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I call in an evil plan, and you send your B squad??? Frankly I’m a little insulted!” -Snaptrap)

> Petty heroes… Read: Randy Disher, a full-grown adult police lieutenant, getting his feelings hurt when the Captain says he’d save Monk, not him, if both were in the water because Monk can’t swim, and Randy persists by asking if his mind would change if Randy was holding an anchor and the Captain asks why he wouldn’t just let go of the anchor and Randy looks him in the eye and says “Family heirloom” and the Captain just >:|

> Gift giving is shown to be a valid form of affection and not played as a greedy, materialistic love language (Related: Character A buys cute little gifts for B sometimes and it doesn’t turn into a story about wasteful spending or needing to shower your partner in gifts or else they’ll freak out).

> Bed sharing / cuddles (As long as it doesn’t progress to sex… I have to be in the right mindset for that and 9.5 times out of 10 I’d rather have snuggles).

> Quick, casual, absentminded kisses. Convince me this character’s instinct is to express affection even when they’re distracted and you have me eating out of your hand.

> Kisses in awkward places… Up against walls, quickly stolen while the third wheel is out of the room, couple trying to hide even though their friends ship them and no one present will judge them for a kiss… Yes. The more uncomfortable the position or time, the better. Love that spontaneous cute.

> Fake dating and in the end they’re still good friends, no push into a romantic relationship just because they were in this situation together.

> Healthy mutual break-ups

> Asexual characters!!! I’m for any story that acknowledges people like me exist and are happy, whether it’s a story about discovery, the difficulties of being ace, or a story where the ace character is just at peace.

> People are close friends and not dating. Both are comfortable with their relationship and no one tries to make them feel bad.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

(Below the cut. Keep in mind these are my personal preferences and I’m not attacking anyone who likes tropes I dislike. This isn’t a comprehensive list, just some thoughts about tropes I don’t enjoy reading).

> Redemption through romantic love. So. Much.

> Everybody Lives AUs

> Soulmates

> Forbidden love

> Amnesia

> Coffee Shop AUs (I’m all for “In the future this character gets a job” stories, but I dislike “I’m going to flirt with this person while they’re in a position they can’t leave” stories)

> Psychic powers / Twins can read minds. It’s not an immediate deal-breaker, but my interest will drop sharply.

> Falling in love way too quickly / confusing infatuation with genuine love and the moral of the story is that you should risk your life plans and dive headfirst into relationships with people you don’t know well yet (I didn’t watch The Sun Is Also a Star, but the trailers pushed ALL my wrong buttons).

> Physical touch is the only or most important way to express affection. I’m all for love language miscommunication stories. I don’t like being told those who don’t express physical touch easily are frigid or uncaring.

> Big rescue scenes in romance (Ex: Hero carrying love interest from a burning building… I’d rather see hero helping love interest up a tough patch of the trail they’re hiking, or leaving a party to find their partner a dessert they’re not allergic to, something small and affectionate like that).

> Asexual invalidation/correction stories (Related: Virgin mockery). I don’t mind reading these if the main character is asexual and it’s a story about sexuality exploration or a character facing difficulties because they’re ace (That’s what Origin of the Pixies is, after all), but if the author legitimately believes asexuality needs to be fixed or that ace characters can’t be in fulfilling relationships, that’s what I don’t like.

> Canon: *Characters state they don’t want to be together romantically*  Fanfic: *Makes them romantic*  As a reader, I’m willing to let you take my hand if you show me careful thought processes and honest conversations while the characters work through changes together in early chapters, but if there’s absolutely no explanation (or indication that backstory will be given later) and the story just starts with them together for some reason… I won’t play along.

> When two people in canon are very close but not an official romantic couple and the only ‘fics about them are romantic. I don’t mind some stories being romantic, especially if they’re set in the future of canon, but if I can’t find more than a tiny handful of ‘fics that match their canon relationship, I get frustrated.

> Oh, here’s a trope I despise with the intensity of a thousand suns… Animals that are not dogs behaving like dogs (Ex: Maximus the horse in Tangled). Other animals are interesting too!

> I dislike a lot of angst tropes in general. I like psychological horror, like the slow recognition of your own sins (which is probably why I write villain backstories). A loved one dying in your arms, or trapped inside a burning house, does nothing to me. You could not get farther from affecting me if you tried. My heart will break if someone hesitates in an otherwise cheery story and the other person staggers back, realizing things aren’t as perfect as they thought. I live for moments where the bliss suddenly snaps and in an instant, everything’s changed. But deaths drawn out with gasps and bleeding, or houses going up in flames, don’t really land. Angst has to be fast and hard or I find it tedious.

> Developing a crush on someone before you even see or hear them interact. See also, liking someone you have no business liking when your people raised you to dislike theirs. How do you exist outside your culture? I want reasons.

> Using new pronouns for a character who hasn’t revealed their preferred pronouns to the narrator and/or a character outs someone by using new pronouns without ensuring they’re okay with that. I’m cool with long-established pronouns, but if some characters don’t know yet, they don’t know yet.

> I’m personally not a fan of self-insert stories, especially Self-Insert x Canon. Specifically, I dislike the trope that self-inserts will draw canon character attention and take the focus away from a canon character development story, which is what I prefer to read. Self-inserts who don’t disrupt the status quo are fine by me.

> I can accept OC x Canon if you don’t contradict canon, but the OC has to be well fleshed out with realistic flaws, and if the canon character is completely OOC, I’m backing out (It’s specifically Main Character OC x Canon that I don’t like- I’ll happily dive into “Failed relationships in canon character’s past involving OC exes because canon characters won’t work for this”).

> Timmy wakes up one day and realizes Tootie’s the girl for him. I need a looong slow burn to sell me on that one. I’m happy to see him recognize his own judgmental attitudes and accept her as a friend, but if it moves into romance while they’re still young, I’m out.

> Wanda being pregnant instead of Cosmo… I 100% forgive this for anything written before “Fairly Odd Baby,” but if Wanda’s the pregnant one then I immediately scroll up to check the upload date. If I can’t trust you with that piece of canon, what can I trust you with?

> Wanda confronts Cosmo and argues that he’s being mean to her. That’s a can of worms I’d rather skirt around.

> I’m all for Cosmo and Wanda having a second kid, but NOT while they’re still with Timmy.

> Abusive Juandissimo.

> I also don’t like fluff. I don’t deliberately avoid sweet, plotless stories, but I don’t seek them out. I lose interest in fluff more quickly than anything else.

… I’m realizing now that the reason I don’t like romantic stories is probably because most of them revolve around expressing affection the literal opposite way of how I prefer it (Ex: Way more stories about physical touch and making out until impulsive sex occurs, not enough quick kisses in passing or time spent existing quietly on the same couch enjoying your separate hobbies).

I don’t inherently hate romance, I just have different romantic preferences than the media that usually crosses my path. I’m more about companionate love than fiery passion. It’s hard to convey the comfortable silence I like in words.

Fanfic Ask Meme

[deliriousabsol]

More Things Than You Ever Cared To Know About My Writing

This was originally posted by ‘vorchagirl’, reblogged by someone I follow. And I thought it would be fun to just outright answer these in a questionnaire type way, rather than as asks. So here we go =)

Feel free to do this yourselves if you like it. Just please remember to add the original poster.

Fanfiction Questions

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Properly? Probably Pokemon. I’ve been writing fanfiction for it for years.

2. What is your latest fandom?

Funnily enough, Sonic, despite being a fan since I was like seven years old. I’ve just never seriously got into it since then until now.

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

The Pokemon fandom. I’ve made some awesome friends in it.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

You hear things, but I’ve not really come across any toxicity besides the reaction to the Sonic Movie.

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

A good few, but the only ones you’ll find are Pokemon, Sonic and Zootopia.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Zootopia - Judy/Nick

Sonic - Shadow/Rouge, Silver/Blaze

Pokemon - I don’t usually ship in Pokemon, but Jessie/James because reasons

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Sonic/Amy. Sorry. Some art is cute, but it’s not my jam.

Shadow/Maria. I don’t ship animals with humans.

I also don’t ship yaoi/yuri pairings.

I do not poop on any ship. If it’s one I’m not fond of, I just scroll on and leave it be. Shipping can be pretty toxic sometimes, and I just don’t get it at all.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

I was writing Mask Behind the Monster and my husband’s aunt suggested I join a specific Sonic forum to post it in. So I joined the Amino and posted it, all nervous. The reception blew me away, and I met some awesome people, so I stuck around.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

The friends I’ve made.

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Probably. Can’t think of any off the top of my head.

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Shadow/Rouge. Also Infinite/Amy. This is because of my current writing projects.

12. Who is your current OT3?

None.

13. Any NoTPs?

We’ve been over this *looks up*

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Sonic/Tails =3

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Infinite/Amy. I didn’t initially.  But if it’s done right, and there are reasons for them to be together in that setting, then it works. 

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Sonic/Shadow, Infinite/Gadget

I’m also not a fan of most Pokemon anime ships.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Knuckles/Amy. I still have a soft spot for it.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

Amy/Espio. I went through a phase... Read a couple of ‘fics and thought ‘Why not? Sounds like fun.’ XD

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Not really. As much as I like shipping, because I’m a fluff-junkie, I have to just like it.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Again. Inf/Amy. This one took me by surprise.

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Erm... if I remember right, Some cringy self-insert Pokemon ‘fic when I was like 14/15.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Everything I regret writing has been deleted.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

The End and Mask Behind the Monster. I can’t choose one over the other. They were both written with a lot of meaning and emotion behind them, and I have a soft spot for both.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

I keep thinking about re-writing The End, but I worry it will lose its fire if I do...

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I think... THINK... it’s Mask Behind the Monster.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

To Title is hard. System:Reboot was a suggestion off a friend who I have lost touch with. Its working title is ‘Hacked’. A lot of my stories have preliminary working titles until I come up with something. The End was named after a song. Confectionary Conundrum was originally called ‘Sugar Snow’ which is the name of the sweet shop in that story. The Mainframe Saga’s Scrivener file is still called ‘Datastream’. Its separate books have been renamed as I’ve been ‘planning’ them out (as much as I plan).

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Probably summaries, because FFNet leaves very little space to do so.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I have actually had fanart, so this is hard to say. A lot of people like drawing my cyberpunk Infinite redesign which has surprised me.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

My husband proof-reads my stuff, and then I question him on it. I don’t have a beta. I’ve thought about it, but I stick to a strict time-frame when it comes to uploads where I strictly give myself very little leniency. So if it wasn’t beta’d in time, I’d get a little frustrated and I do not like to pester people. I also worry I’ll be told to edit and cut a LOT, and I don’t like to butcher my ‘fics. I do that enough while I’m writing 8D

30. What inspires you to write?

My faith. That is a BIG one. You will find references and metaphors to my faith throughout my stories. Particularly in The End and The Mask Behind the Monster. Music is another huge inspiration drive. I’ve come up with entire scenes and even plots or sub-plots listening to music. I was just on a walk listening to some cyberpunk tracks when I got the spark for The Mainframe Saga.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Oh boy. Where do I start? I think I was especially moved when someone told me they read The Mask Behind the Monster to their sisters.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Yes. A lot. I listen to a variety of stuff from Christian rock and EDM to cyberpunk instrumental tracks. Main bands are Thousand Foot Krutch, Family Force Five, Cruxshadows, Holon, Misanthropix, Scandroid and Celldweller.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

It really varies. I lean towards epics. Even Glitched ended up being longer than planned, if memory serves, although it’s not epic length. The Mainframe Saga is made up of chaptered ‘fics, ficlets and one-shots.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

I couldn’t tell you, because Scrivener crashes when I try to get the word count for System:Reboot XD

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I don’t, but I have thought about it.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Sci-Fi. Hands down.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

I prefer third person, particularly restricted third person, because it is easier to write about different characters. That way the reader knows what’s going on when the main cast do not. I was very surprised I enjoyed writing first person so much in Mask Behind the Monster, though. But I did leap into third person a couple of times to give a wider perspective.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I love creating OCs. But I will use canon characters in the Sonic fandom.

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer?

From what I’ve been told, character development.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Violence. And tragic back stories. I have legit questioned my sanity when coming up with scenes that include this.

Also... when I write fluff... I kind of grind to a halt and struggle through it. Often interspersed with gazing from the window and thinking well further ahead than where I’m currently at. This often results in forgetting dialogue I think up during my garden gazing.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I won’t post links because it is much too fiddly. But Guiding Light by Ambyssin, Heart Song by Suetonicsonic, Fall From Power by Lordius Dannius.

Hands of Creation by Namohysip, and The Curious and the Shiny by Nebula Dreams. Both of which I seriously need to pick up again.

I believe you can find all of them on FFNet.

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Same applies as above. Ambyssin, Suetonicsonic, Namohysip, Chibi Pika and Nebula Dreams.

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Ambyssin has provided some amazing constructive criticism on System:Reboot which has resulted in me making a terrifying antagonist out of Gadget the Wolf. I strongly hope no other antagonists will develop what I have nicknamed ‘Socket Syndrome’. His drive and commitment to his writing has been pretty inspirational, too.

But in all fairness, I think most, if not all, of my writing friends have been inspirational and very supportive. I offer digital high-fives to each and every one of you.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I can’t think of any. People should write what they like. And I believe if you want to read it, and it doesn’t exist, then you should write it yourself if you can.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Guiding Light by Ambyssin. It’s not often I fall in love with a fanfic.

Fall From Power by Lordius Dannius is another.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

The End or The Mask Behind the Monster, because they’re pretty special to me.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

FFNet. I’ve been posting there for years. I’m iffy on AO3. I’ve considered posting to Tumblr, but my solution to that is to post links and artwork instead.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

If I feel I have something to say, I’ll post a review. I like to make sure I do so, though, and I have been known to make notes on my computer and post reviews in bulk to works posted on Serebii.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I love comments, and I will try to respond to each one. Reblogs are totally welcome!

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I’ve been writing for many, many years. Since before I was ten years old. Pokemon likely got me into fanfiction. I can’t remember writing it for anything else prior to that cringy ‘fic I mentioned earlier (which we will never, ever talk about. Ever.)

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I love the creativity behind it, especially OCs. Pokemon OCs are my favourites, particularly in PMD or Pokecentric settings. Both Sonic and Pokemon offer a lot of inspiration to create OCs as the worlds are both pretty vast. AUs and canon settings both offer massive scope for creativity. It’s seeing peoples’ headcanons and takes on the franchises that I really enjoy. Yes, I do like shipping, but a story does NOT need it to be a good story. It’s the way people tell it that matters more to me.

I know this says ‘one thing’. But I just want to make it clear, the one part of fanfiction I don’t like, is M-rated stuff. And I will not read it. It... bugs me when a ‘fic I’ve been enjoying suddenly changes its rating XD

(I do not own any of the fandoms or characters mentioned in this post) <- Nervous Nelly moment?

[helplesslyfictional]

Loki Fanfiction - Remember the Old Ways, Chapter 6 - “All Untold”

Author’s Note: Everything’s starting to coalesce, a little faster than I anticipated! Writing this chapter was intense, exciting, and took a lot more careful thought than I expected.

Chapter Summary: Loki tries to use his new method of communication before his day gets increasingly out of control. Pairings: None! These stories are focused on family relationships.

What characters, then?   Loki, Thor, Odin, Frigga, OCs [Osk] [Sophia]

When? Pre-Thor 2011: From Asgard to Earth, will go through Thor 2011 Warnings: SPOILERS for Avengers Infinity War (under cut), mature themes, emotional trauma/abuse, swearing, anxiety Taglist: @loki-the-fox; @i-am-loki-and-now-i-speak-up; @trickster-grrrl; @deviantredhead; @mylokabrennauniverse; @leanmeanand-green; @juliabohemian; @latent-thoughts; @lucianalight; @nox-th-lk-sf; @be-a-snake-stab-your-brother; @starscreamloki Please let me know if you would like to be added/removed from tags and I’m more than happy to do so! If I added you it’s because I’ve been tracking your blog/work and have noticed you might be interested. :) 

AO3 story link; Wattpad

It wasn’t until he was eating breakfast adjacent to his chambers, as he usually did, that Loki realized nothing strange had happened for over twelve hours. No strange feelings, no dreams, visions, or visitations. Given the course of the past couple days, this seemed a little unusual, but was honestly a relief.

Loki had a few things he wanted to explore himself, primarily the nature of the enchantment Osk had laid upon him. With her death, it was possible the enchantment was broken. Despite the warnings he’d always been told about the unknown costs of magic, he almost hoped it wasn’t. He had been concerned about the vulnerability it created by exposing him to emotion, but now he almost...missed it. Why did he feel that way?

The connection of the ruins he had visited to this magic - Loki elected to call it seidr - seemed strong, but he wondered if he’d be able to call upon it elsewhere. If the enchantment was still there, perhaps he could connect once more to Sophia. If she was in fact their sibling, he needed to find out more information.

Getting up, he put on a jacket and moved to a nearby cushioned bench in his sitting area. When he was sleeping, he hadn’t felt the magic preceding his visitation, so he was unsure of where to start. If he used the same method as in the ruins, he worried he would not visit but instead inhabit her body. Which would likely ruin whatever communication they had.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember the place Sophia occupied. Orange carpet. Wood walls. A strangely embroidered couch, tattered and worn. Sophia, with eyes of green and brown, her brown hair and petite body as she pressed against the wall with fear and curiosity.

That didn’t help, so he turned to what he’d felt from her, the despair, loneliness, sadness, and pain. He tried not to get wrapped up in the emotion, but as he brought them up, it was hard not to let it curl around him and bring forth memories.

Before he could stop himself, he recalled crying in this same room as a young boy, leaning up against his bed, the mattress rail pushing against his back. He couldn’t remember the slight - there had been so many - but as he had tried to push down that sadness, he had stared at the scratches on his floor tiles, inscribing his pain into each of them. He couldn’t tell anyone how he felt, so he mentally wrote those feelings into those scratches.

Before he realized it, however, the memory shifted, and instead of his gold-inlaid bed, the rail was mahogany, and instead of tile, there was beige carpet. Inscribed with pain, in each and every flaw, was a scalloped wallpaper. Reaching out with a child’s fingers, he pressed them against the wall, feeling a thousand whispers and emotions there. All untold.

Then he began to feel it, a broadening of the self, reaching across the distance of the universe. If he were doing it himself, he might have felt afraid there would be no reply. But he knew otherwise. As though answered, he felt a glowing warmth towards which he reached with an eagerness he hadn’t expected from himself.

A brief spell of happiness passed from his head to his toes, and then he was there.

“It’s you!” It was her voice. Both joy and fear - Sophia’s, he realized - coursed through him before he could even adjust. This was a different room. Same walls and carpet, but the space was dominated by a bed. She had just stood up from a faded blue chair, which was still rocking. “I can’t believe it!” She was smiling, but seemed confused.

Loki blinked, looking carefully at Sophia. “Why can’t you believe it?” he asked reflexively, then chided himself. Asking questions back at people was a defensive mechanism of his to stall for time. He quickly glanced around the room, almost taking for granted its tidiness.

Her smile faded. “I just...I thought if you were a hallucination I’d only see you when I’m in the greatest amount of distress. But I suppose if I’m hallucinating now…”

Loki shook his head and snapped his fingers to bring her attention back to him. “I can assure you, once again, that I’m not a figment of your mind. Please, let’s not go through the entire argument.”

She hesitated, then skirted around him to close her door softly. “My parents are home,” she said softly. “They shouldn’t hear us, but if I’m too loud they’ll wonder what I’m doing.”

“I understand,” he said, then shuddered as he wondered what his body was doing in Asgard. Was he speaking aloud? Moving? What if his mother came in?

He should have set up a ward. Why was he making juvenile mistakes?

“Whoa, I might be okay right now, but you clearly aren’t,” said Sophia, who was eying him curiously. “I can feel that - what are you so worried about?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, “Have you recovered from yesterday?”

“Of course not, I haven’t recovered,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You don’t recover from something like that, you just hope you don’t feel like that again. But,” she said, squinting, “don’t change the subject. You want to prove you’re real? Then what are you worried about?”

Loki squirmed. He didn’t like this, he didn’t think he’d be able to hide a lie if she could feel his emotions. “I’m worried I’ll be discovered on my end. I made a mistake and didn’t protect myself properly.”

“On your end?” Sophia looked dubious.

Loki felt even more anxious as he pictured his mother coming in. “Hold on,” he said, “I don’t know what will happen, but I’m going to see if I can fix that. If I’m gone, I have an idea how to re-establish...this.”

Closing his eyes, Loki focused on his body, trying to find where he felt the bench pressing against his thighs and the faint smell of pine. Feeling slightly dizzy, he increasingly felt the bench, as though waking up, and opened his eyes.

The connection - Loki didn’t think of it as a spell - was still active, it seemed. He didn’t feel differently. Looking down at his arms, Loki didn’t see Osk’s magic, which surprised him. Getting up quickly, he quickly laid down a ward to alarm him and trip someone coming in through the door. In an effort to deter a visitor, he wove an illusion of himself still sleeping in bed.

As he finished laying it down, he heard a gasp. Whipping around while simultaneously preparing a sleep spell, he stopped short when he saw Sophia standing a few feet away.

Her eyes widened as she saw the glimmering magic he was holding. She didn’t say anything, but began trembling. It wasn’t in fear, however. He sensed she was overwhelmed.

Understandably.

Allowing the spell to dissipate from his fingers, Loki slowly walked towards the woman. It was likely she was present in the same way he had visited her - her body remaining in her home. Though how, he didn’t yet comprehend.

“How - how…” She opened her mouth, but couldn’t articulate anything.

“The same way I visited you,” Loki said gently. “Sophia, it’s alright. This is good, in fact. We’re figuring this out.” Perhaps if he kept talking, it might help her ground herself.

“My mind wouldn’t be able...to imagine this much detail…” she said, slowly turning to look at the architecture.

Loki never really thought about what his chambers looked like, since he had seen them every day. The ceilings were painted in Asgardian style with clouds and stars, stirring with gentle movement. Tall pillars on the sides held up the ceiling, with gilded partitions dividing the area where he slept, spent time, and ate. The cushioned benches around him, with end tables, were kept in a dark blue with small embroidered stars. A balcony with ornate railings stood outside, the city and mountains providing a breathtaking view.

He considered teasing her once again about things being in her head, but he realized she was in a tenuous state. She might reject the connection or grow despondent.

Reaching out slowly, he touched her on the shoulder. Sophia jumped and looked at him wide-eyed.

“Welcome to Asgard,” he said softly.

“It’s a real place, isn’t it.” Finally, it was sinking in. “This must be real, or if it’s a delusion, it’s incredible. I don’t care.” A smile crept across her face. “I mean, it’s everything. Smells, sight - is that snow? Touch…” at this, she reached up and touched his arm, shaking her head, “Sounds...except taste, that’s all that’s left.”

Loki smiled, letting go of her shoulder. “It was the same when I visited you as well.” This was the first time he’d gotten close to her. He had noticed she was short previously, but wasn’t quite aware of how short - probably a foot below him.

She frowned, her mind clearly working. “If this is a method of communication - then how is it even possible I can use all these senses?” She walked toward a partition, touching the edge almost reverently.

He’d forgotten about her curiosity. “I’m not certain myself,” he said, “it’s odd that it’s as though you are...present. It’s possible that my mind could be sending you the signals it’s receiving on this end.” He shook his head, thinking aloud. “What is strange to me is that we can touch something that the other isn’t touching and still receive the stimuli…”

Loki’s musings were interrupted by three sharp bangs on his door. Fuck. It was definitely Thor.

Sophia’s eyes met his and he felt her rising worry. He put his finger on his lips to indicate she should keep quiet, and didn’t move himself. Hopefully Thor would get bored or think he wasn’t there.

Three more bangs. “Lokiiiiiiii.” There was a *thok* against the door that was probably Thor’s forehead. “Come on.” A pause. “I need to talk with you.” Another pause. “Goddamnit.” Then he heard Thor walking away and relaxed.

He dropped his finger. “I apologize,” he said. “That was just my brother, Thor.”

“Oh,” she said sarcastically. “Just the famous god of thunder. Got it.”

“Hey,” Loki said, acting hurt. “I’m not famous on….” he paused. “Where are you from, Sophia?”

“You don’t know?” she asked wryly, then winced. “Obviously you don’t, sorry. Earth.” She paused briefly. “Do you feel anything from him? The same way we’re communicating?”

“No, this is exclusively between us, I believe.” He cocked his head, then considered what she said about her home world. “There’s a lot of places that are just called ‘home,’ or ‘planet’ in their mother tongue, and that name is translating to the same.”

She blinked. “Translating…? Well, I suppose if you were to put it in terms of the Nine Realms, this was called Middle-Earth. Midgard. Back then.” She gave a small smile. “And no, unfortunately, you’re not as famous as your brother.”

“Ah well,” said Loki playfully, shrugging, “I guess you get to spend time with the lesser of the gods.”

“But far more interesting!” Sophia said with a laugh.

Loki gestured to a nearby bench. “Are you able to sit down?” he asked curiously. It was likely, but still important to check how the apparition interacted with matter. She did so dutifully, crossing her legs.

“Yep.”

“Interesting,” said Loki, going to an side table and grabbing a plum. Taste was the only sense untested. If Sophia wasn’t present physically, would something like that, which required matter, even be possible?

It was worth a try.

“Catch,” he said, and tossed the plum to her. With a smooth motion, she caught it and examined it. Then her eyes widened. “Oh,” she said quietly.

“Yes,” he said in response, “you’re interacting with matter. Can you take a bite?”

Sophia hesitated, then took a petite bite, having to suck at it so that juice didn’t dribble down her chin. Holding her hand in front of her mouth as she chewed, she smiled and swallowed. “It’s good and ripe.”

Loki rubbed his mouth contemplatively; he didn’t taste anything. “Interesting,” he repeated, crouching down to look at her closely. When she swallowed, was it transferring between Realms? Looking at him wide-eyed, she asked politely, “May I take another bite?”

A smile spread across his face. “Of course.” Then a test came to him. “Can you focus on being in Midgard once more?”

She looked at him, trying to understand. “What do you mean?”

“When I brought...myself...back here, I tried to focus on what my body was feeling here, while I was sitting.”

“Oh, yes, it simply looked like you closed your eyes on my end.”

“My - apparition didn’t vanish? Did you touch me at all?”

“No to both. So you want me to focus on my...body?”

“If you can.”

Sophia looked around for a spot to put down the plum. “Oh!” Loki said quickly, “no, try and hang onto that. I’m curious about something.”

“You want to see if I have it on Earth - Midgard - don’t you.”

Loki grinned, surprised at how enjoyable it was to speak with her. He’d never expected a discussion with someone from a lesser Realm would be at all interesting. “It’s just a test. Smart of you to catch it, though.”

Sophia smiled smugly and placed the hand holding the plum in her lap. Closing her eyes, she drew in a measured breath. Her forehead wrinkled as she seemed to try and focus, then she grew still.

The plum vanished.

Loki’s heart beat faster in surprise and anticipation, relishing the chance to examine something extraordinary. While this phenomenon was not impossible, given the laws of science and magic, it was nigh improbable.

Could he go back? He closed his eyes and tried to focus on Sophia’s room once more. A brief spell of dizziness, and opening his eyes, he was there.

Sophia sat on her bed, eating the plum. “I can’t believe it - does this mean that…”

“Matter is transferring between Asgard and Midgard!” he burst out, laughing at his childish enthusiasm. “This is - amazing - it’s like…” he hated to say it, because it was so inaccurate, but it seemed so correct to describe the circumstance. “Like...a miracle.”

Sophia took another bite, smiling. “Your happiness is infectious,” she said, trying to hold back laughter herself. “Oh, am I - I’m probably feeling yours, aren’t I.” Her eyes crinkled with joy. “That’s not a bad thing.”

Loki was still in thought, amused. Sophia looked around at her room and shook her head. “I’m here all the time - let’s go back to Asgard, it’s much more interesting than this hellhole.” With that, she grew still once more.

Excited, Loki focused and switched back to Asgard; it was becoming easier.

She was still there on the bench, this time with the plum. Overcome with sheer joy, he didn’t think - he ran over and grabbed her in a hug, lifting her up off her feet. She shrieked in surprise, then laughed, relaxing in his embrace and squeezing back.

Loki’s anxieties rushed back, however, and he blushed, putting her down. “I apologize,” he said, stepping back. “I hope you weren’t offended.” He couldn’t believe he’d broken decorum in such a manner. It was just so exhilarating to share such an experience with someone else.

He hadn’t done so in a long time. Not since his days learning magic with his mother.

Sophia’s smile faded. “You’d know if I was uncomfortable, I think. And I truly don’t mind. I’m not used to being touched, but - it felt good to finally hug someone,” she said in a reassuring tone.

Before he could respond, there was a thud, and, horrified, Loki looked up to see his brother on the balcony.

“I knew you were in here!” Thor said accusingly, fastening Mjolnir to his belt. “Why didn’t you answer your door?”

Sophia bolted up from the bench and stared in surprise. Loki glanced at her, then back at Thor. “Maybe because I need a thing called ‘privacy’?” he growled.

Thor rolled his eyes. “What could you possibly be doing that needs privacy?”

Loki frowned, blinking rapidly as he tried to think of a coherent response to such a stupid question.

Thor reached over and selected a plum, tossing it in the air before catching it and taking a bite. Loki winced once more at the crunch. Another plum taken before it was ripe.

By this point, Loki had expected that Thor would have noticed Sophia, who drew closer to Loki. She still hadn’t said a word, presumably in case she could be heard, even if she couldn’t be seen.

“I recall you not wanting to know about some of my activities,” he said defensively.

“Oh please, brother,” Thor said nonchalantly, “that all went out the window last night.” He hopped over the back of a bench and sat down.

“Did it?” Loki’s anger rose. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell when the rules changed. Your threat was effective, so I don’t necessarily know when it’s appropriate to talk with you or not.”

“Alright, calm down,” Thor said with a frown. “No more threats. I need to speak with you.”

Loki put his face in his hands, trying to contain how upset he was.

“Don’t keep it in.” It was Sophia.

Shit, she could feel his emotions. Loki looked up at Thor, who hadn’t moved and was taking another bite of his plum.

Sophia crossed her arms and he felt a pang of her nervousness as she addressed him. “If you’re this upset by what he’s doing, you need to tell him.”

That seemed like a bad idea. He didn’t know what to say, how to articulate how he was feeling in a way that made sense. If he just lashed out, Thor would likely discount it or, he feared, get angry.

Loki flexed his hands nervously as he wished he could get rid of either visitor. He felt exposed, nowhere safe to go, not even inside himself. “What is it, Thor?”

Thor looked up at him and seemed to hesitate, playing with the half-eaten plum in his hand. “Um…” He squinted, giving a confused frown as he tried to hide it behind a false smile. “You know what, nevermind.” With that, he got up.

What? Why all the fuss? “Thor! You invaded my room for this. The least you owe me is a little explanation.”

Thor stopped. He was looking down at his feet, shifting uncomfortably, but didn’t move. Such a sudden change in his demeanor from his arrogant self moments ago certainly meant that Thor was trying to tell him something important.

Moving away from Loki, Sophia slowly began to cross the sitting area, moving toward Thor, peering at him intently. Given the way most women acted around his brother, Loki expected her to be smitten. As he concentrated, he found himself better able to feel her less prominent emotions.

She was filled with curiosity, but more interestingly, there were undercurrents of bittersweet sadness, confusion, and a strange sense of fulfilment. She squinted her eyes as though trying to figure something out.

Finally turning his attention to Thor, Loki spoke. “Is this about what upset you yesterday?”

Thor looked up, as though interrupted with thought, with a pained smile, reaching up to rub his beard with his hand. “You know, I’d never thought anything like this would happen.” He set the plum down almost gently. “I was upset because…” he squeezed his eyes closed, “I saw the future.” With that, he opened them, likely to gauge Loki’s reaction.

Loki’s jaw dropped as he stared at his brother. Thor had been so resistant to everything, so angry, and Osk’s prediction had come true. If so, why was Thor seemingly filled with trepidation?

“I know it seems strange. The night after we met Osk, I had a vision. For a while afterward I thought it was a dream, but...it was no dream.” Thor sat down, rubbing his hands together. “It was too real, too vivid. I could have sworn I was there had I not known otherwise.”

“Thor,” said Loki, coming closer and sitting down, “I had a vision as well. The next morning.”

Thor met his gaze, his eyes widening. “What was it about?”

“You first,” said Loki, a smile passing over his face.

Thor leaned back, rubbing his face vigorously. “But I don’t want to.”

Loki’s smile faded. “Was it bad?”

His brother slouched down and started hitting his head slowly, repeatedly, against the back of the bench. “Yep.”

Loki saw movement out of the corner of his eye and nearly jumped when he saw Sophia. He’d briefly forgotten she was still there. She had her arms crossed and was watching the exchange with great interest. He shook his head to focus. “Brother, you’ll have to tell me at some point.”

Thor let out a sigh of resignation, but remained slouched, staring at the ceiling. “I was in a large vessel that had been attacked. Loki, it was like I was truly there; I could smell ozone and smoke. Blood was in my mouth and I was exhausted, wounded.”

“So you were not an apparition or an observer?” asked Loki, leaning forward and clasping his hands.

“No, I was - I was there. I can’t explain it - I - I had a thousand emotions running through me that I didn’t understand, but they weren’t coming from me. Grief, anger, fear, sadness.” He sat back up, looking at Loki, then down at his hands. “Around me were…” his voice trailed off. It took him a couple seconds before he was able to say the words. “Asgardians. Slaughtered. Not warriors or Einherjar, but men, women, and children.”

Loki was stunned, but managed to force out his first thought, as much as he hated it: “By you?”

Thor shook his head, too wrapped up in the memory to notice the implication. “By enemies. Their faces and forms I could not make out, but like in a dream, I knew who they were. Loki - Loki - you were...there.”

He looked up into Loki’s eyes, then back down, gritting his teeth until at last he spoke. “Pointing your dagger at the throat of a Titan. He had stopped you by some magic and - took you by the throat…” Running his fingers up into his hair, Thor pulled on it, a nervous habit he had from when he was a child. “...and...killed you.”

A chill ran down Loki’s spine, settling into his stomach as he tried to understand what Thor was telling him. “You saw me die.”

Thor rocked a little, then wiped his eyes quickly, still avoiding eye contact with Loki. “I didn’t just - see it, brother. I felt it. Howling grief ripping me apart, a pain like I’ve never known. I wish - I wish I could diminish its memory, but…” He clapped his hands together, giving a fake laugh. “I can’t, I just can’t.”

Loki was stunned. In comparison, his vision was minimal. Nothing. Thor, unable to help? Stopped by magic? What magic was stronger than his? He shook his head, trying to stop the multitude of questions flooding his mind.

Thor was clearly distraught, and Loki realized he was as well, but - no. Well, yes. But it wasn’t just his emotion. He’d been so focused on his brother he’d blocked out the sounds of crying next to him.

Sophia had her face in her hands and was trying to stifle the sounds of her weeping. Loki was acutely aware that if he gave her attention, he would alert his brother to something amiss. As much as he wanted to speak with her and help, he couldn’t.

He didn’t know how Thor would react.

Loki finally spoke, giving voice to his biggest question. “Thor, are you certain this vision was of the future?”

Thor looked up, that pain etched behind his eyes. “In many ways, that’s the worst part of it all.” He looked away from Loki into the distance. “Along with it, I felt - I know the approximate time.”

Loki frowned, looking at his brother in disbelief. “That’s not possible.”

“And seeing the future is?” Thor wrinkled his nose. “Seems like this all is...defying nature.”

“How long, then, do you think?”

Thor closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he spoke. “Eight years.”

Loki gasped and bolted upright. “You’re joking! Tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish I was, brother. I wish I didn’t need to tell you, but keeping it secret - it was too hard. I’m sorry. I’m - I’m so, so sorry.”

His mind reeled at the thought. It was a death sentence. Eight years was nothing, a blink. It might as well be tomorrow.

Thor crossed over to him, enveloping him in a hug. As hard as he tried not to, Loki began to shake at the specter of his own demise.

Over his heartbeat in his ears, he heard Sophia’s voice, and it took a few moments to register what she was saying.

“He’s holding something back,” she was saying shakily, “I don’t know how I know, but it’s important.”

What could be more important than this? Wrestling himself out of Thor’s embrace, he snapped. “SHUT UP! Would you fuck off, please?!”

Thor stepped back, his eyes wide. “I - “

“Not you!” Loki said vehemently.

The woman flinched, more tears running down her face. “I don’t know how - “

“Figure it out!”

She shrunk back. “I’ll try…”

“Brother.” Thor sounded concerned. “Are you alright? I know this is hard news…”

Loki laughed ironically. “No - no. I am very much not alright. Eight years...” He paced back and forth anxiously, then turned to Thor. “Tell me you know more than this. Some way out, something.”

Several expressions crossed Thor’s face. “I’m sorry, Loki. I didn’t see more that night.” He scowled, curling his hands into fists. “This isn’t right. I don’t understand how those goddamned Seers could have dealt with something like this. It’s a curse.” He shook his head. “No one should have this power, no one! Not even such knowledge.”

Loki continued to walk, trying to collect himself, his mind going all over the place but shrinking back at the thought of him...ending. Not existing.

He stopped suddenly. “Please tell me it was at least an honorable death,” he said softly, not daring look at his brother.

“It was,” said Thor tersely.

Loki looked at him. “Would you tell me if it wasn’t?” His heart grew heavier in his chest, and he felt once more like that young child, ready to weep.

Thor’s eyes widened. “You can’t ask me that, brother. I can’t tell you.”

Loki felt a rising agitation, turning to see Sophia still standing there. Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m trying - I just can’t focus, there’s so much going on...”

He didn’t know how to deal with this, all of this. It was far too overwhelming. Sophia, the past, the future, Thor...all of it. He put his head in his hands. Thor came close once more, putting his hand on Loki’s arm.

“Is the future set in stone?” Sophia’s voice cut through his mind once more. “It just seems that…”

Loki leaned his head back in frustration, then looked directly at her. “Go. Home,” he said through gritted teeth.

She took a step forward this time, and he felt her rising anger. “No. This is important,” she said. “I don’t know how this is happening, but I do know there’s something more going on.”

“Loki, with whom are you speaking? Is this another trick?” Thor asked. “If it’s a trick, it’s not a very good one.”

“No! It’s not a trick!” Loki couldn’t focus, couldn’t find the part of himself where he could collect, draw himself together and put on the mask other people saw. Thor had opened a vulnerability and he had no way to hide. It felt like his mind was beginning to scream.

It was in that moment that something changed. He no longer was breathing fast, heart pounding, adrenaline racing. The difference was dizzying, and he tried to focus when he heard his own voice.

“I’m sorry if I’m causing you concern, Thor, it’s just that I’m scared myself.”

Blinking, he saw himself - or his body - from a different perspective. As he stared at himself, he saw Sophia, somehow, as though the two bodies were transposed upon one another. He was, no doubt, in her position. A rage began building up within him as he realized his body had been stolen from him.

Thor eyed Sophia carefully. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

She crossed his - her - arms and said, defensively, “What else aren’t you telling me?”

Shifting suddenly, Thor pulled back, searching his brother’s eyes. “You’re perceptive, Loki. I always underestimate that.” He paused. “It’s too soon, brother. This vision was hard enough.”

Sophia looked at him sharply. “There’s another vision, then?”

Thor blinked. “Yes. But Loki - why not take some time to deal with…”

“Let’s get it all out there; you said you couldn’t keep this a secret. I’ll tell you what I saw afterwards.”

Shifting, Thor took a deep breath and let it out, seemingly trying to concentrate. “My second vision came last night,” he said. “I was not asleep, so I was more aware of the...feelings beforehand. I will say, for something that is so cursed a power, the feeling of...connection to Time itself is exhilarating. I don’t practice magic as you do, but I imagine that it’s what it feels like.”

Loki was seething, trying to figure out how the woman had taken his body. He’d tried focusing to no avail. This strange magic was disconcerting. Trying to deepen his breaths, he closed his eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to be in his own body.

“This vision was different, and had I not been prepared, knowing now what it was, I would have thought it more akin to a dream. As you asked before, this time I was an observer of events, not a participant. I stood upon a battlefield of verdant green, scarred with war, on a planet I did not know. Around me were warriors locked in combat. A sound like the sharpest crack of thunder crossed the battlefield, and around me every other warrior fell to ashen dust.”

Loki couldn’t focus as his brother went on. He felt as though he needed to listen; it was too important. His brother’s tone was just as grave as it was when describing the first vision.

“The vision changed, and I saw people living their lives on different worlds in different Realms, some familiar, some not. Around me families cried out as loved ones disintegrated. Over. And over. And over. And over.” Thor’s eyes were distant and his face grew almost cold. “I thought it would never end.”

This was Loki’s chance while Sophia was likely distracted. He focused quickly on his body, mentally trying to oust Sophia.

It worked. Relief flooded his veins as he regained his senses, eyes already trained on his brother’s face.

Glaring over at Sophia, who crossed her arms with a huff, he turned to Thor. “It must have been difficult.”

“Not as difficult as my first vision, but yes. I think it’s the event that...Osk mentioned.”

Loki searched his memory. “The great wrong.”

“Yes. It certainly...feels like it’s the event that is the source of that dread I’ve been feeling since the first vision we shared.”

Loki’s feelings were pushed to the background as his curiosity was peaked. “Interesting. Did you get the same sense of timing as with the first vision?”

Thor nodded and paused. Licking his lips, he finally said, “Eight years.”

Loki shook his head, beginning to slowly pace once more.

“Believe me,” Thor said, “I’ve tried to discern what further meaning I could, but. After last night’s vision, I knew I couldn’t hold this from you.”

Loki held up a hand. “I understand.” He sighed. “It seems like both these events are…” his voice drifted off as he failed to find the right word.

Both of them stood lost in thought.

Loki slowly turned, watching as Sophia walked closer to Thor, scrutinizing him. Then she looked back at Loki. “I don’t understand it. I don’t - I - “ she laughed in disbelief.

Loki closed his eyes at her reaction. This day could not get worse.

“I can feel his emotions the same way I’m feeling yours.”

Loki opened his eyes and stared at her, his heart beginning to beat faster. He bit his tongue, trying not to say anything.

She shook her head, “I mean, I don’t get a lot of what’s going on, but this I feel - so sure about. I’ve never seen him before, but…” Uncertain, she started picking at her hand. “Loki, I saw what he saw in his vision as he ran it through his head. Not when he described it, but beforehand. That’s why I was so upset.” He felt a pang of desperation and hope as she asked, “Have you had anything like that happen so far?”

Loki shook his head only a little bit.

Sophia moved closer and, before Loki could say anything, touched Thor gently on the arm.

“BLAGH!” he shouted, jumping back suddenly, before pointing a finger at Sophia. “Where the FUCK did she come from?!”

Loki was wrong. The day could get worse.

[margoslxix]

Why Everyone Should Join the New Albion Fandom

Alright, so I know some of my followers already know about New Albion. I’ve definitely been posting about it a lot lately. But not only is it a great work, but so far, the fandom is shaping up to be something absolutely special and unique, something worth keeping an eye on for those of us interested in fandom history and culture. It’s still a small fandom, but it seems to be growing fairly quickly, and I think this is as good of a time as any to make a post like this.

What is New Albion?

Good question! The short answer is, it’s a series of operas. Specifically, retro-futuristic science fiction operas. That sounds niche as hell, because it is. But the music is incredible, and the stories are extremely well-written. There’s also a good deal of LGBT representation, which is always a plus.

You can find the entire series here. As you can see, that looks extremely intimidating, but here’s a simple guide to getting into the series:

You should start with Dolls of New Albion. It’s the first in the main trilogy, and the most well-known. You can find a few actual performances on Youtube, which is a nice bonus. If you’re extremely into jazz, you can also safely start with The New Albion Radio Hour, but I don’t think it’s quite as satisfying without having Dolls as a basis. Dolls of New Albion is an epic, with each act following a different cast of characters in the same family line, and how all of their actions cause the downfall of a great city. The aesthetic is Steampunk, probably accounting for the popularity of this one in particular.

The New Albion Radio Hour is the direct sequel. It’s a much more compact, action-oriented piece. It’s Dieselpunk, so prepare for a lot of noire goodness. It follows a single family on a single night, and while the plot is completely separate from Dolls, it definitely does build on the lore.

Finishing out the trilogy is The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness, a wild Atompunk ride. It’s a bit less linear than its predecessors, with Act 2 being a massive flashback that helps to explain the plot. It has a reputation of being the hardest of the three to follow plot-wise, so you definitely don’t want to start with this one, although it’s also very, very good. It also ties the plots and characters of the other two together in an extremely unexpected and interesting way, so it’s absolutely a great “end” to an amazing trilogy.

Once you’ve finished the main trilogy, your next destination should be The Room Beneath New Albion. It was written as a sort of love letter to the fans, and an epilogue for the series. Taking place during the third act of Dolls, it delivers on a plot point left hanging at the end of the trilogy.

All of this takes less than 6 hours, so this is not a fandom that will take you hours and hours to get caught up. If you were a latecomer to anything like Homestuck or The Adventure Zone, New Albion is incredibly accessible.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

You may have noticed that there are more than four albums on the Bandcamp page. Don’t worry. Just because the main trilogy is over doesn’t mean that New Albion is finished. Now is actually an excellent time to get into the fandom, as we’re all waiting at the edge of our seats for the third act of The Ballad of Lost Hollow. 

The Ballad of Lost Hollow is a 3-act opera being released one act at a time, and Act 2 (”Uncle Raven’s Super Happy Funtime Carnival”) was released very recently. While it was a massive plot twist at the time, it is no longer a secret that this opera, while seemingly unrelated to New Albion, is actually the fourth full installment in the series, and seems to be heading in a Cyberpunk direction. Still, it’s taken a lot of detours through Weird West and a Carnival aesthetic, so it’s got a little something for everyone.

In addition, if you want to hear more, most of the albums on the composer’s Bandcamp do take place in the same universe! If you want to get additional lore, feel free to give a listen to nearly everything. Fairy Tales for the Lost and Wandering in particular actually includes a track called “New Albion 7,” an important side-story linking Radio Hour to Analogue Consciousness. If you liked that, there’s also Fairy Tales for Homeless Fairies, another album of fairy tales, but one with a more connected plot.

For more background on Uncle Raven, formally introduced to the New Albion series in Act 2 of Lost Hollow and quickly becoming the most popular character in the series, check out The Fallen and Shadows and Flames, both of which feature him pretty heavily. (He’s actually a very old OC of the creator, so there is official lore for him dating back to the 90s.)

If you want something a little different (and not necessarily canon), check out The Slenderman Musical or Cthulhu The Funksical, both incredibly weird and unique takes on pre-existing stories.

And if you’ve listened to everything and you’re still hungry for more New Albion, the composer’s blog contains a bunch of short fiction and character backgrounds for the series, providing additional context and lore notes.

How is this Fandom Unique?

This one’s kind of a long story.

You see, we have this Discord server (which I can give you a link to, if you’re interested). A lot of fandoms do. It was started by @sludge-bot, and I don’t think he expected it to get as big as it did.

Well, sure enough, it sort of exploded. Meanwhile, cryptic messages on Paul Shapera’s blog seemed to suggest that he was a member of the Discord himself, lurking and incognito. He promised that he would reveal himself in a Q&A session over voice chat.

And he did. Sonmi451, a person who had been a member of the server for a long time, turned out to be Paul Shapera himself. Turns out, he’s not just an amazing composer, he’s also a really cool dude. The Q&A went wonderfully, but we were all a little unsure of how things would go after that.

And here’s where things start to get wild:

Paul stayed. 

We continued to behave as a normal fandom, producing fics and art and headcanons. We’re pretty active for a small fandom, partially because we’re a tight-knit community. We’re always welcoming of new members, but for the time being, this is a fandom where just about everyone knows everyone else.

Except that the content creator, The Guy Who Controls the Canon, is among us.

He frequently shows up to randomly declare people’s headcanons canon, or comment on our art and fics. The atmosphere is casual and friendly, and he frequently jokes about our shenanigans. 

He’s also written the Discord server into the official lore, as an organization of mad historians and scholars (the New Albion Discordian Society, or NADS). In addition, he has named several characters after members of the group, and said that he will continue to do so.

The official support from the composer has made the New Albion Fandom Discord into more-or-less an “Official, Authorized Fan Club.” We also may or may not have our hands on some exclusive content, some of which may or may not be total game-changers for the lore.

Anyway, Paul Shapera is a really cool dude, and his engagement with his loving fandom has created a totally unique atmosphere with regards to how things like headcanons work, as well as answering questions and expanding our understanding of the lore.

That was long. Why should we join the New Albion fandom?

To summarize: Do you like amazing music? Do you like great stories? Listen to the New Albion series. It’s shorter to get into than a lot of other popular Tumblr fandoms, but it also gives you more depending on how deep down the rabbit hole you want to go. For this reason, it’s a totally customization fandom experience. Join the Discord server, and you’ll make a ton of cool friends, and have an already-established community to geek out about the series with.

I could see this potentially blooming into a large fandom, and I’m not entirely sure how that will change the current culture and dynamic. But honestly? It’s exciting, and I’m willing to find out. (Plus, Paul deserves a lot of love and attention, because his music is AMAZING.)

[jenasisity-blog]

Fanfic/Fandom Questions

Fandom Questions 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? TMNT

2. What is your latest fandom? Haikyuu!!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in? Haikyuu!!

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms? Nope, I'm not into certain fandoms any longer, but I don't regret the time I spent in them...

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for? TMNT

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

TMNT - brOTP

Haikyuu!! - IwaOi, DaiSuga, BokuAka, BoKuroo, OiKuro, MatsuHanaIwaOi, and BokuAkaKuroTsuki are my main ships.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

TMNT - Brother x Brother and Donnie x April

Haikyuu!! - only KuroKen, really...I don't hate it, just not really into it all that much? I'll still read fics with the ship, though, if I'm intrigued by/into the plot.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom? I watched the anime, and the stage play, and the OVA(s), all that good stuff...though I will admit, I'm kinda annoyed at myself for putting off watching the series for a while, like I did.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom? I adore the humor, the friendliness/compassion and acceptance the Haikyuu!! fandom has for pretty much any ship...and I mean ANY SHIP. Like, we've heard of everything. xD

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in? Yes, Haikyuu!!, and that sucks, because I want to write for the fandom so badly, but I just can't get the characterization down...when I write a character, it's like they're a completely different person, and I want to fight myself so badly. ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP? I ship IwaOi harder than anything, lol! Like, how can you not? xD I will go down with this ship~

12. Who is your current OT3? I don't have OT3s...I have OT4s! xD MatsuHanaIwaOi and BokuAkaKuroTsuki are my main OT4 ships.

13. Any NoTPs? Oh boy, you have to be careful with this. I don't want to start a war...but, as I said before, I'm pretty good with any ship...just...I don't really see KuroKen as romantic...just platonic, but that doesn't mean that I hate romantic KuroKen either, it's just...not my cup of tea, if you will. :)

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs? Ahhh, BoKuroo (I ship them both romantically and platonically) and KuroKen are my big ones! I also like the idea of KuroOi...

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love? Hmmm...I mean, @suguru got me falling into KuroShou really fast and hard, like, it should be a crime, really, and that's a ship not really well known, so I suppose that'd qualify??

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike? Um, please don't kill me, but I'm not much into KageHina....that's like a major sin, I know, but I like their friendship better, sorry KageHina shippers! ^^;

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite? IwaOi, all the way! As I said before, I'm goin' down with this ship!

18. What ship have you written the most about? Since I can't get my characterization down, I don't write for the fandom, but if I ever did, it's most likely be IwaOi or platonic ships.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them? As mentioned, not shipping KageHina is almost like a unspoken sin, but I don't really care? About shipping, in general, I mean. Like, everyone is intitled to their own opinions, to what they like and what they don't. Nobody should be degraded or threatened for what they like...and that also goes for what they don't, as well.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking? Hmmm...not really? If I like something, I usually like it just 'cause I like it, ya know? xD Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote? A TMNT One-Shot.

22. Is there anything you regret writing? Hmmm...no, not that I can think of.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it. Uhhh...I never finished any of my TMNT multi-chapter fics, at least not before I fell headfirst into Haikyuu!! Hell, so yeah...not really proud of any of them? Like, I liked my plot-bunnies, but I never went through with them and finished a actual multi-chapter fic, so....oh, but there was this one-shot that I wrote for an old online friend's birthday, and to also cheer her up and put her fears to rest, so yeah. I guess I'm quite proud of that one. :)

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? As I said before, I only ever wrote in the TMNT fandom, but I'm no longer apart of it, so I wouldn't go back to edit/rewrite anything, but I'm sure all of my works are capable of improvement.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic? Hmmm...that would be We're All Just Built To Be Broken.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles? Most times I use or get ideas from song names or lyrics, like above, other times I just rhyme the title or just use the work context to come up with a title that compliments the text.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries? Writing summaries, no doubt. I'm usually proud of them by the time I'm done changing/rewriting it a thousand time, but it's far more exhausting and time consuming than coming up with a title.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of? I actually had a picture commissioned for another fic I did (never completed), called The Devil Within (another song name), but I honestly would like anything someone made for me out of their own busy time, I have no preferences. :)

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not? Nope, lol, I'm actually a Beta for a few awesome souls. xD I think I reread my works for mistakes enough to be my own beta reader, though I wouldn't mind the extra set of eyes! xD

30. What inspires you to write? Music, fanart, other fanfiction, and AUs. Basically everytime I hear a new song/see new art/read another fanfiction/AU, I have some kind of plot-bunny running around my head somewhere. Especially for the Haikyuu!! fandom.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing? Just that they're excited for more and that they enjoyed it; if I make my readers happy, I'm happy.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you? Ohhhh, yes. I listen to music constantly when I'm writing. The lyrics give me plot-bunnies and I listen to whatever genre I'm writing at the time. If it's angst, I put on some sad, slow music. Fluff and love? Happy, sweet, cute songs.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics? I like to write One-Shots, I gave a go at multi-chapter fics, but, as I said before, couldn't finish any of 'em.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic? 4,693 words, for the fic The Devil Within. It wasn't ever completed.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about? Hmmm, no, I don't. Maybe I should, though, to try to get back into the swing of things...maybe I'll even see what I could do about my characterization skills?

36. What’s your favourite genre to write? Angst. Hands down angst. I love the pain and tears. \( ˆoˆ )/

37. First Person or Third Person - what do you write in and why? Third Person, I always write in Third Person. It's just default, unless I make a conscious effort to write in First.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs? Both, though I'm more familiar with writing with established characters.

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer? I would like to say my writing style...I believe it to be very detailed and well thought out and put together. ~(0^0)~

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing? CHARACTERIZATION!!!! My gosh, do I need to work on my characterization...(￣ー￣ ) Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading: I'm not really readying anything currently, so I'll just post five of my favorite fanfics I bookmarked on AO3. Not in any particular order.

1. Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder

2. A Purpose by Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon

3. The Alpha King & I by caelestisxyz

4. Follow Rivers by surveycorpsjean

5. Build A Temple In Me by Authoress

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing: This is totally not all of my favorites, and they're not in any particular order.

1. surveycorpsjean

2. Triana

3. Frenchibi

4. codename_bewareofthefangirl

5. Amethystfairy1

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you? Yes, a lot of them do, but I'd say the top ones are @ichigomaniac, @codename-bewareofthefangirl, @haikyuulovercompany, @suguru, @here-is-my-happy-place, @craziiwolf, @dothewrite, @sugawaraformytea, @lovely-angst, @franeridart, @nekokat42, @ikipin, @03xlimit, and @kittlekrattle! Wow, that's a lot! As I said, I got more, but those are my main ones. xD

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention? Hmmm, I think evey ship needs the attention it deserves...all ships are treasured to someone.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic? Oh, come on, that's impossible to say!

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why? None, lol, never look into my TMNT stuff...it's horrid and besides, it's not getting updated anymore.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why? AO3, all the way! It's a bigger and better community! ;)

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not? Sometimes, either when I have time or feel as if I need to absolutely say something. I always leave Kudos if I enjoyed the work, though. :)

49. Do you care if people leave comments/reblog your fic? Why/Why not? I'd love if people commented on my works, it makes me feel more inspired to finish them if I know there are people out there that enjoyed it and are waiting for the next installment.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction? Gosh, how do you not get into fanfiction?

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go! I downright adore how people can come in with their own ideas, their own AUs or even build off of other's AUs (with permission, of course), and everyone in the Haikyuu!! fanfic community does not care, as long as you respect their work! I adore that about this fandom. Everyone is left to their own devices and people don't care what you ship, as long as you're respectful. It's nice to be in a fandom that is so loving and accepting.

[consulting-caffrey]

Fanfiction Questions!

A great big thank you to @tohavealifetimeoffun for letting me use these! 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? Heartland. 2. What is your latest fandom? White Collar! 3. What is the best fandom you've ever been involved in? The best? That's tough. That's really tough. But in the end I have to go with White Collar. 4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms? Nope. Not a single one. 5. Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for? Mainly White Collar because I only started posting just before getting into that fandom seriously. Before that, it was Avengers. 6. List your OTP from each fandom you've been involved in. Heartland: Ty/Amy Iron Man: Pepper/Tony Avengers: Tony/Steve Supernatural: Dean/Lisa (judge me all you want, destiel shippers) White Collar: Neal/Sarah but hell, its hard to choose between that and Neal/Peter because COME ON that show is practically throwing it at us! 7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you've been in. Hoboy... Heartland: Amy/Soraya Uncharted: Chloe/Nadene Iron Man: Pepper/Natasha Avengers: Clint/Laura (I'm sorry but I can't. I will die for Clintasha) White Collar: Neal/Jones (I've seen it, I respect it, I admire from a distance, but I can't. Same with Neal/Diana) 8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom? Well, it started when I stumbled upon it on Netflix and thought one of the guys on there looked cute (I'll let you guess which one) and so I started watching it only to get bored partway through and I went galavanting in the Avengers fandom for a few years before coming back like "Hey I never finished that". And here I've stayed ever since. Stuck. Thanks, Jeff Eastin. 9. What are the best things about your current fandom? Even though the show has ended, the White Collar fandom is still alive and active. Its like we all still stick together and keep track of what Matt Bomer is up to these days like "hey, The Last Tycoon! Also I just wrote another White Collar fic haha pry this show from my cold dead hands". 10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don't write in? Nah, I don't stray far from White Collar. 11. Who is your current OTP? Gotta be Neal/Peter at the moment. I just love their bromance though. I know those two are like THE ship but I usually prefer Neal/Sarah, which for some reason isn't very well liked, I hear??? 12. Who is your current OT3? Um, the only OT3 I've ever had. Peter/Neal/El 13. Any NoTPs? Neal/Jones, Neal/June (what?), and I don't wanna say its a definite no, because I miiiiight consider Neal/Mozzie. And I have written Neal/Diana but I don't particularly like it. 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs? Peter/Neal of course, Neal/Mozzie 15. Is there any obscure ship that you love? Well not really. Neal/Kate, but I wouldn't call it obscure. 16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike? Ehhhh not really. 17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite? Ty/Amy from Heartland and yes, I still love those two to bits. 18. What ship have you written the most about? Steve/Tony. Funny since I started out HATING those two together and it was EVERYWHERE all up in my face but then next thing I know I've got like fifty stories about them 19. Is there a ship you wish you could get behind but you just don't feel them? Neal/Mozzie. 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking? Peter/Neal/El, like I said. I like it, I do. I've just never had an OT3 before and I think that's what threw me off a bit. 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote? That would be a Heartland fic that took up an entire notebook. 22. Is there anything you regret writing? Eh... Sometimes. I regret writing things that I don't finish. 23. Name a fic you've written that you're especially fond of and explain why you like it. Neal Caffreys. Oh man I want to continue that little project forever. There are so many possibilities. 24. What fic so you desperately need to rewrite or edit? Ummmm probably Take Me Back To Normal. I need to offer more explanation and reason for my torture haha 25. What's your most popular fanfic? I haven't checked in a while but I believe it's Neal Caffreys. 26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles? Sometimes song lyrics or they just... come to me? 27. What do you hate more: coming up with titles or writing summaries? Summaries oh god... 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fan art for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of? Oooooooo It would be for a story that I'm currently working on (actually a chapter for Neal Caffreys but I really want to make it a full story) where Neal is a horseman. The picture would be Neal standing next to his horse, and the horse would look all badass and everything AGH! Please somebody. Also hey I do have a piece of fan art for my story Tale Me Back To Normal done by @kanarek13 and I love it so much 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not? I do not. I am very good with English and writing so I can edit my own stuff. In fact, I prefer to. It just kinda feels lazy to pass a piece off to someone else to do that for me. 30. What inspires you to write? Well watching the show helps. Also reading fanfiction. 31. What's the nicest thing that someone has ever said about your writing? Oh gosh, that they go back and read it all the time so I should never take it down. That just made me so happy to hear. 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band of music/genre does it for you? I cannot listen to music when I write. I like to have quiet so I can picture what I want better. If I have music on, I just end up drowning it out anyway. But music itself does inspire me sometimes. 33. Do you write one-shots, multi-chapter fics, or huuuge epics? Oneshots are what I try to stick to, but the multi-chapter thing is also okay. Huge epics? Lol not so much 34. What's the word count on your longest fic? Oh man I gotta go look this up... 35,038 ...Holy crap 35. Do you write drabble? If so, what do you write them about? Hmmm I think I've written maybe two drabble fics? I don't do them often because I like my h/c action torture awfulness. But I do like to get in Neal's head. 36. What's your favorite genre to write? Everybody whose read any of my stuff already knows it's hurt/comfort and angsty things. 37. First person or third person- What do you write in and why? Third person preferably. I just like to get a wider perspective, but with third person, you can also hone in on individuals and their thoughts. 38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs? Both? Obviously my fics are always almost 99% canon characters but I do have OCs that I like to slip in there. I have OCs that I use for RPing but you can find Finnigan Roderas here and there as well as Victor "Vito" Odell in For Your Entertainment. They're a couple of mine. I am a proud parent to at least three more. 39. What is your greatest strength as a writer? The way I can put myself in a scene and imagine all the details, mostly emotions, that go with it. 40. What do you struggle with the most in your writing? Well like I mentioned, I tend to write stories around one small thing I want to get out, and once that thing is out and I've created a mess, I just go "...what now? I didn't think this far ahead..." 41. List and link to five fanfics you are currently reading. Oh man I usually only read one at a time... But I'll put that one down and then add four that I read before it. Enemies http://archiveofourown.org/works/2290154 You Look Like A Koala http://archiveofourown.org/works/2329949 Somehow, Sundown http://archiveofourown.org/works/6159619 Wrong Time, Wrong Place http://archiveofourown.org/works/2435216 Love Lift Me Up http://archiveofourown.org/works/2503781 42. List and link to five fanfiction authors that are amazing. Now this I can do. pooh_collector http://archiveofourown.org/users/pooh_collector/pseuds/pooh_collector Sholio http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sholio/pseuds/Sholio Huntress79 http://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79 Ashley5627 http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashley5627/pseuds/Ashley5627 NYWCgirl http://archiveofourown.org/users/NYWCgirl/pseuds/NYWCgirl 43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you? Definitely @kanarek13 and @archivistsrock Also @hirunoka and all the anons who keep encouraging me to write and keep writing~ 44. What ship do you feel needs more attention? Mozzie/Gina 45. What is your all time favorite fanfic? A week ago, I wouldn't have been able to tell you, but then I found Out of the Wastes by Sholio and I can't tell you how much I love it. Seriously. Go check it out. 46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why? Mmmmm... I don't know that I'd recommend any of them, but I guess Neal Caffreys is my pride and joy. That one. 47. Archive of our Own, Dreamwidth, LiveJournal, Fanfiction.net, or Tumblr- Where do you prefer to post and why? AO3 for sure. I like the setup and everyone on there seems nice so far (barring one strange incident). I used to post on FF but eh... A couple people on there really pissed me off. I'll leave it at that. 48. Do you care if people comment/reboot your writing? Why/Why not? I'm not sure what that means. Comments on my writing in a separate post? Rebooting my story to make a better version themselves? Idk I've never really experienced either of those things, if that's what this means. I guess maybe I wouldn't mind. Not sure. 49. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction? I got into writing it first because the idea came to me all on its own and I thought I was a genius. Then I believe my dear friend @tfwhancock was like "let me show you FF" and I was stuck there for months. 50. Rant or hush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go! I LOVE THAT IT EXISTS OH MY GOD YES I love that I can use characters that I love and write them and make them do what I want and just AGHHGGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It's so fun and exciting and just reading what people come up with is the most amazing thing! When you have to stop reading and just appreciate a line or a phrase like "oh that's good" Mmmmm love me that feeling~ Tagging: anyone who wants to do this!

[theusualspotcafe-blog]

Bigotry Parking

Game: Kingdom Hearts

Characters: Xion, Leha Strife, Vincent Strife (OC parents for the Strife family!) Olette, Vanitas, Iris

Pairing: Vincent and Leha technically

Rating: Everyone

Author: The Usual Spot Cafe

Word Count: 1256 Words

Notes: I wanted to write something that first focused on some of the parents we created for this universe (Leha and Vincent being my favorites) and secondly one that focused on something that people with unseen disabilities deal with a lot. Stuff like this happens more often than it should. Everyone is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, while yes some people are awful and use the handicapped parking spaces without needing to, most people who use it do. Some people who have had a prosthetic for a long time are able to use it without much difficulty. On a side note, Leha is a member of the Al Bhed tribe, a heritage that her boys take very seriously so look out for a fic about that coming soon!

Leha put the car in park and sighed, “I hope Cloud is okay.”

“Sweetie I’m sure he’s fine, you worry about him too much!”

“Well maybe if your father hadn’t been a part of the Mako experiments, we wouldn’t have Geostigma in our family.”

Vincent gave her a disparaging look before reaching into the glove compartment and pulling out a blue handicap sign. He put it on the rearview mirror and opened the door. “I don’t want you bothering him too much about this Leha. He just needs his family right now.”

“I know Vinny, but I am glad Zack called us ahead of time. This way we get to spend time with the whole family! I can’t wait until we see Prompto! I haven’t seen him in forever.”

Vincent rolled his eyes at his crazy wife as he slid out of the car. “You saw him a few months ago.”

The Al Bhed woman glared at him, “I meant what I said.”

Vincent sighed and walked over to the door of the café, holding it open for his wife. “Be calm, wait for them to come to the café before you attack them. They live busy lives.”

Leha gave him a heartbroken look, her swirled eyes swimming with tears. “But Vinny! My Cloudy needs me! Not to mention I haven’t see my Vanni in months…”

“You skype with him nightly.”

“I also haven’t seen Sora dance in weeks and I haven’t tasted Roxas’s cooking in forever!”

Vincent rolled his eyes and pushed her lightly inside of the café. “I hear you woman, just act like a normal mother for once.”

“I’m warning you Vincent, one more comment and I’ll send you back to the frontline!”

Vincent grinned, “In your dreams woman! I was honorably discharged with medals!”

“Aw, sweetie I know that.” She reached up and pinched his cheeks making him growl. “You’re too cute to go on the frontlines. Now what do you want to drink?”

“They sell beer here?”

“Vincent, I swear to Shiva it is two in the afternoon.”

“Fine! I’ll take green tea.”

“Okay.” Leha walked up to the counter, eagerly greeting an excited Xion who leapt over the counter to hug the woman. Vincent eased down into one of the plush armchairs, rubbing his left knee as he sat down. He closed his eyes and groaned as a dull pain settled into his thigh and knee.

“Excuse me sir?”

Vincent opened his eyes a crack, looking up at a woman who was glaring at him with such malice behind her eyes he raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Can I help you?”

“How dare you park in a handicapped parking space? I think you should move your vehicle this instant! Clearly you are not disabled, so how dare you sir!”

Vincent’s eyebrows shot into his hair line. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me! You are not disabled! Move your vehicle!”

Leha turned to the sound of raised voices, gasping quietly before rushing over to her husband, Xion and Olette in tow. Olette held up her hands in a surrender gesture. “What is going on here?”

The woman turned her angry gaze onto Olette, “and whom might you be young lady?”

Olette’s eyes flashed darkly and she crossed her arms. “I happen to be the owner of this establishment and I don’t take kindly to people waltzing in here and disrupting my customers ma’am.”

The lady smiled and pointed at Vincent, “Perfect! You are just the person I would love to see. This man here parked in a handicapped zone when clearly he is able bodied.”

Leha glowered at the woman, nearly spitting with anger. “How dare you assume my husband is able bodied! How dare you treat a SOLDIER first class veteran in such a way!”

Xion put her hand on Leha’s shoulder, “Mom calm down…”

“I will not calm down!”

Olette opened her mouth to reply to the woman but was cut off by Vincent holding up his hand. “Ollie, Leha, Xion. It’s okay.” He turned his blue gaze onto the woman, a sharp meaning behind them as he lifted up his left pantleg. “Clearly you need to be reminded that not all disabilities are visible.” He pulled his pantleg all the way up and undid a few things on his thigh. “Clearly you have no respect for people or for, like my wife said, SOLDIER veterans. I was on the frontline in the Nifelheim and Lucis war and refuse to be treated in this way.” He paused as all the straps were undone, pulling off his prosthetic leg and holding it out to the woman who looked absolutely mortified at this point. “Especially since I lost this leg guarding my friend’s corpse from the enemy.” He set his leg down on the floor, his left leg ending just below the knee. “I would very much appreciate if you left this lovely establishment now.”

The woman looked down at the ground, “I am so sorry sir…”

“Save it for someone else.”

The woman nodded and hurried away, looking horrified at herself. Once the door closed after her departure Olette breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Mr. and Mrs. Strife I am so sorry that happened to you in my café! Please anything you order is on the house! You shouldn’t have to deal with that!”

Leha gave her a sad smile, “Oh honey, that’s okay. You would be so surprised at how often this happens.”

Olette shook her head sadly as Vincent grunted and began working on putting his leg back on. “It’s how good I walk with it.”

Xion nodded in agreement, “Yeah it took me two years before I found out you had a fake leg!” She paused and walked back to the counter, “Plus even then I only found out because he had it off one time at movie night.”

Olette wrung her hands together. “It still shouldn’t have happened here, I’m very sorry please accept my gift as a form of apology.”

Vincent gave her a weak smile, “Thank you Ollie. It’s very appreciated.”

The door jingled again making the four look up, half expecting the woman to be back but instead was met with Vanitas and Iris staring at his parents in shock. “Mom? Dad? What are you doing here? Why is your leg off?”

Leha squealed and ran forward to wrap her arms around her son, “Nevermind all that honey! Oh, how are you? It’s so good to see you!”

Vanitas smiled and hugged her tightly. “I’m okay, but that doesn’t explain why Dad took off his leg and it just flashing his stump to the world.” Iris giggled at that while Vincent just glared at his son.

“Really Van?”

Leha sighed, “Vanitas, I said nevermind. Now how about you tell me about everything that’s been going on between you and Iris!”

“Ugh Mom? Really? Right here? Now?”

Leha’s face grew sour, “What? Do you not have time for your mother anymore? I see how it is! Get a girlfriend and suddenly I’m old news!”

“No that’s not what I meant!”

“Now you’re lying to your own mother!”

“Mooooom!”

Iris and Vincent locked eyes and both shared an eyeroll before chuckling. Iris walked over to Vincent and sat down, quietly talking to him while Vanitas and Leha argued with each other in the doorway. All in all, it was nice to have some of the family reunited after those long months apart, even if Vincent had to deal with annoying people before seeing his son.

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic

I was talking to an online friend on Twitter not too long ago, and the subject of bad fanfiction came up. My friend had been reading “My Immortal” and losing his shit over it. I asked if he’d read “Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen” and it turned out he had not. He’d never even heard of it.

Indeed, while this story is one of the best-known badfics out there, it’s still considerably less popular than “My Immortal” is, and I think that’s a damn shame. This may be my personal favorite work of bad fanfiction; it’s a fantastic example of the “so bad it’s good” genre. Author BeckyMac666 writes like no other English-language writer has ever written, and this is both a good and a bad thing. She’s almost certainly a troll, given the blatant use of established badfic tropes and several parallels with “My Immortal,” but when you’re this good at being terrible it really doesn’t matter how serious you are about it.

For the record, there are folks who believe that this fic and “My Immortal” share an author, due to the aforementioned parallels. I personally don’t think that’s true, since the prose is very different, but if it amuses you to imagine that they’re written by the same person, be my guest.

Like virtually all Twilight badfic, this story is about a mysterious new girl arriving in Forks and shaking up Bella and Edward’s relationship by creating a love triangle. As usual, Bella is made out to be completely awful in the process, Jacob is largely forgotten about, and the protagonist may not be entirely human herself. This is far weirder, and more entertaining, than your average shitty Twilight fanfiction, though. Mark my words.

I first MSTed this fanfiction back on the old WordPress version of this blog, but, as that was a long time ago and I like to think I’m funnier nowadays, I rewrote most of my comments. It’s not wildly different, but hopefully it is an improvement over the old version.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time!

I have no idea what the unedited version of this thing looked like, but I honestly can’t imagine it being any more ridiculous than the final story.

btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok !

Use spellcheck, you fool! Or get a proofreader!

no critisism pls!

Oops.

tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL!

The Tara parallel here is probably intentional. Zac never gets mentioned again, much like Tara’s boyfriend, but Tiffi isn’t Becky’s beta reader and they don’t have a spat partway through or anything of that sort.

EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)

Honestly, I think this is how all fanfiction should open. Just tell me straight-up what character you wanna bang before the story’s even started. Save us all some time.

love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

Aww. That’s kinda cute.

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!)

Yeah, Vickie, thank you. Looks like you’re doing a great job and you’ve got everything under control here.

i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Since this fic got “abandoned,” subsequent chapters have not actually been improved. Not that one can tell, anyway.

Altantiana

Yes, that is a typo of her OC’s name. Off to a great start.

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).

Virtually no one calls her Tiana during the course of the story. Just so you know. “Tiaa” isn’t a typo, either, though I have no idea why the author felt the need to add an extra A.

Notice the middle name? Subtle.

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!

This actually makes her a year younger than Bella, for the record.

My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist.

It’s pale and it’s pale? Also, gold and amber are not the same color.

My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight.

I’ve been complimented on my fentures before too, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.

I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story.

Well, gee, after that modest description of yourself I’m shocked that boys think you’re attractive, Tiaa. You sounded so plain and ordinary.

Am guessing that the girls who don’t tell a different story are gay.

They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

I hate when girls pick on me for being too ethereal.

Even though we’re using the “attractive character looks anorexic but isn’t” trope, and that’s obviously not so great, I guess it’s nice that Tiaa/Becky took the time to point out that the comparison is disrespectful to people who actually have anorexia or another eating disorder.

The bit about Ellie Mayfair is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I hope you guys all understand why I had to run this fic now.

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!

Ah, the “skinny yet improbably busty” body type. Strangely more common in fiction than in real life.

Tiaa totally does care who stares at her, by the way. As we’ll see shortly.

I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon.

I have no idea why we’re supposed to care about any of this, but I’m particularly unclear about why we should care what she smells like.

I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!

Tiaa’s specific music taste never comes up, to my recollection, but I’m betting My Chemical Romance is involved.

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family.

Yeah, Tiaa is adopted. This is sort of plot-important later on, but we never get to learn much about her life prior to Dave and Marie.

I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.

I mean… you just moved in with them.

My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him.

Foreshadowing!

Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall.

Presumably because she’s too ethereal.

I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it.

That could have something to do with why they’re staring.

I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak!

God I love this author’s writing style. Truly, no one has ever written like this, before or since. BeckyMac666 is one of the unsung geniuses of our time.

Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore!

Most of the rest of the story is about various people messing with Tiaa. For the record.

My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.

I’m a pretty big fan of the phrase “cloud-embittered,” although it is of course completely meaningless.

Hey, uh… why the hell hasn’t she gotten dress coded? I went to a private school and I guess our dress code was a bit stricter than most, but most high schools will get upset at teenage girls for not covering their knees and shoulders, let alone having any undergarments visible. Tiaa’s entire bra is showing through her fishnet top. This is a situation in which I think it’d be reasonable to ask her to change.

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life.

I don’t know why we’ve gone right back to (over)describing Tiaa, but I do think I should delete my entire OkCupid bio and replace it with this opening chapter.

Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl.

Could’ve fooled me!

I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it!

That’s nothing. I had a dream once where I explained the meaning of Nirvana lyrics to somebody (obviously not possible in real life), and I couldn’t remember my explanation when I woke up either.

I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color!

I’d like to remind you that this is set in the Twilight universe. It’s already got magical creatures, and there are rules established about their abilities, appearances, and behavior. Tiaa is clearly not quite human, but she doesn’t seem to be a vampire, a half-vampire, or a werewolf. She’s completely unique within her universe, for no defined reason, and the rules governing other nonhumans don’t apply to her.

Like, the physical description and the obvious homage to “My Immortal” already made it clear that this girl is a Mary Sue, but this author clearly gets that Sue status isn’t just about looking unreasonably pretty. It’s about defying the rules of canon. Tiaa’s outstanding at that, as you’ll see later on.

I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people.

God, what a sentence.

I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire.

Something like… bad writing?

The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!

There are so many bad fanfics where the prose is bare-bones, with few or no adjectives/adverbs and simple sentence structure. BeckyMac666 tends in the opposite direction, and it’s awesome. Everything is phrased as though it’s super dramatic, nonsense metaphors abound, and our author has clearly never met an adjective she didn’t like. Hey @ aspiring trollfic authors: take note. This is how you write an entertaining badfic.

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me.

Also a big fan of how Tiaa always talks about herself as though she’s checking herself out.

It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him.

Kind of like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one you sicko.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt!

Foreshadowing! Again!

A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken.

Straight-up one of the greatest similes I’ve ever seen. Like, I study English literature and I don’t think I’ve ever read a metaphor better than that one. I’m not joking, it’s brilliant.

She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low.

The modesty act might be a little more convincing if we hadn’t just read several paragraphs of Tiaa talking about how hot she is.

So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there.

Hey, what’s a “bald drug”? I go to a liberal arts college and I’ve watched the entirety of Breaking Bad multiple times, so you think I’d have heard of it.

As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine.

Musk is a substance some male animals secrete for scent-marking purposes. The word comes from the Sanskrit for “scrotum.” Thought you all should know.

I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class.

This bitch just hotboxed a locker room on her first day of school. 

I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

Remember that this is the beta-read version of the chapter.

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)

So you know how self-insert characters, particularly Sues, often have self-proclaimed “anger issues”? I wanna talk about that, actually, because it’s a trope I see not only in fanfiction but in published fiction, and it honestly bugs me.

In real life, anger issues are a totally legitimate character flaw, and one that can have serious negative consequences in-universe. A character with a bad temper may make rash decisions, screw up their relationships with others, have trouble holding down a job, get in trouble with the law, and so on; people who have anger problems are often mentally ill and/or traumatized, too, and the anger may be just the tip of the iceberg. Many morally ambiguous characters, well-written ones, have trouble with anger. There’s nothing wrong with this trope when it’s executed correctly.

In the hands of a less-than-competent writer, however, anger issues are the opposite of a problem, because the character’s show of anger will invariably cause others to back down or apologize and there will be no negative consequences. Writing a character who’s so sweet and charming that they always get their way has exactly the same effect, but as that trope falls out of style “anger issues” has taken its place and the authors who write these characters have no idea that they’re doing the same thing as the trope they thought they were avoiding.

Of course, this is the work of a troll, and the use of this trope is almost certainly intentional, but there are way too many authors who employ it unironically as a way to give a “flaw” to a character that even they realize is bordering on unrealistic.

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady”

Author’s so fond of weird phrases that I have no idea whether or not “wet heaven” is intended as innuendo.

It was the hawt pale guy!

Dun dun dunnnn!

Next chapter