#you know what. i think this is partially fueled by fear of being left alone in an allonormative society.

[clfixationstation]

unfortunately I now understand the sapphics who don't engage much with wlw content because it makes them jealous :(

[singularsaurus]

For decades NASA and other space agencies have been sending probes to the planet Mars. One image of the Martian surface, a region called Cydonia, showed a monumental form that resembled a face. It was casually dismissed as pareidolia.

It's easy to dismiss this as pareidolia, until you realize it's right near a monumental skull, and a five sided pyramid, among other interesting forms.

In 1998 the European Space Agency captured a superior image of the area making use of some heat sensing technology to produce an image without shadows. The face appears to have been damaged, probably by an attempt to do away with it. Hiding these types of things has always been very important to somebody.

If you download Google Earth there is a little orange Saturn Icon at the top where you can switch over to Google Mars. If you try to look at this spot called Cydonia (coordinates in above image) you will notice a suspiciously convenient blurry smear over the Skull, and a dumb icon over the face. The pyramid was left alone, probably because it's not as obvious since it is partially buried.

Here is the censored skull closer with the partially buried five sided pyramid.

Looking at this skull below it may first remind you of a human skull. However, notice that the eye sockets are perfectly circular, whereas ours are kind of rounded squares. There is one of their skulls jutting up from the Martian dirt in this image taken by a NASA rover. Their noses are small and they have wide mouths.

On this stone carving below, you can see they must have had enough nose flesh to sport a nose ring. Also note the wide blunt toothed mouth.

Enhanced image of the carved stone head.

The image of the stone carving came from Jet Propulsion Laboratory's own website. I used to have the exact URL but I don't know what I did with it. If you root around you might be able to find some of this stuff yourself. Below is something that might be a helmet, or a damaged skull perhaps.

Below is an object that looks like it could not occur naturally.

Mars has two moons that look like asteroids. They are called Phobos and Deimos (Panic and Fear, Ares's sons) If they were passing asteroids that were captured by Mars's gravity, they would have long elliptical orbits, but instead they have circular ones. The European Space Agency determined in about 2008-2010 that Phobos is 25 to 33 percent hollow. I suspect it is an asteroid that was brought near Mars to be mined.

Phobos

In the 1980s the Soviet Union sent a space probe to Phobos, and it was abruptly disabled, or possibly destroyed by something as it neared Phobos. Russia tried to send a rover to Phobos in the 2010s. It was called, Phobos Grunt, meaning Phobos Ground, but it was disabled by a meddlesome device from some mysterious country and got stuck orbiting Earth until it's fuel supply was exhausted.

Also important to note, is that Mars has extensive subterranean tubes running all over the place. Portions of the tubes are exposed in some areas. Were they made by some tunnel boring machine? I've heard it said they are big enough to drive SUVs through.

Here is an image I put together to show the difference in Human skulls compared to Martian skulls, also with the object I think is a helmet, and the carved stone head.

Why is it so important to someone to keep all these types of things unkown to people? Could it be, because the faction who ruled Mars when it was destroyed are active here on Earth right now? Them being the same faction that has reverence for pentagons and five pointed stars? Maybe, they don't want it known that their activities are already responsible for the total decimation of at least one living world. How many other tomb worlds might be orbiting around other stars because of them?

I suspect the species that the carved stone head depicts still exists in abundance in our galaxy. Mars's destruction as a living world was the result of a massive attack utilizing super weapons deployed from spacecraft, not a natural cataclysm. This occurred a very long time ago (pre-dating Earth's dinosaurs), but that same conflict is ongoing. I speculate time travel may be a factor in the activities of this species, because half a billion years seems too long for any conflict to drag on no matter what technology is being used. All of the Mars and Phobos images I used here are from old NASA and ESA missions that pre-date artificial intelligence generated images.

Sources: "Death on Mars" by John Brandenburg "After the Martian Apocalypse" by Mac Tonnies

Image Sources: NASA European Space Agency

[storiumemporium]

In the Haze of a Crimson Lust II

Viktor/Vampire!Reader/Jayce

| Word Count - 4.2k | ANGST ANGST ANGST |

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(HERE'S PART TWO! I don't know that this would count as plot heavy, mostly it's just worldbuilding at this stage- partially fueled by my terrible decision to read Flowers for Algernon while writing this- but she sure does fucking HURT. Enjoy!!!)

TAG LIST:

@hikariflower4 @hr-nm-grnd-zr @queerkittycat @dreamtogether2000

(P.S. I don't know if you're still inchrested but here's part 2 of that Vamp Fic @arcanescribbles 🥺👉👈)

Viktor and Jayce attempt to stop your condition from progressing, things take a rapid turn for the worst.

Jayce has never seen Viktor look so small before.

Viktor, a pillar of pride and genius, a man who has never let the world drag him under, wilted away before him. He doesn't need Viktor to say it, he just stares with big, hopeless, frightened eyes and Jayce's stomach falls away into the void.

"Jay—" his voice breaks, Jayce sees bright, panicked tears bubbling up in Viktor's eyes as he forces himself deeper into the lab, looking for a seat. Jayce abandons his work, as if it hadn't existed.

He slams into Viktor maybe a little harder than he intends to, arms coming to squeeze the man tightly enough around the waist and back that he lifts clear off the ground, and rather than his usual grumbling, Jayce can hear his crutch clatter to the ground, left in favor of wrapping his arms around Jayce's neck. He hiccups, and Jayce's heart fractures.

"Hey, hey... We'll fix it, okay? We solved Hextech, right? We can do this too. She'll be okay."

"We- we don't have enough time, enough resources- this isn't our expertise-"

"Vik, we aren't mages either, but we did it. Have faith in me- in us."

Jayce wouldn't admit it then, not for many years- but he manages to keep a false calm entirely off the desire to protect Viktor, trying his best to be for his partner what Viktor had been for him so many years ago. The realization that you... that you were dying, it's like being forced under water- it's like he's a little boy again, caught in a blizzard.

He helps Viktor toward a chair- the one Jayce had been in himself when Viktor burst through the door, and fetches his cane as Viktor attempts to collect himself, tears spilling over silently as he wipes them with frustration.

"Where is she now? Is she...conscious..?" Jayce can hear his own fear creaking through when he asks.

"I-" Viktor runs a trembling hand through his hair. "I panicked."

"Vik..?"

"She- she was- she spoke of going to the Enforcers...of telling them about her condition."

"They would've taken her to Stillwater..."

"They would have killed her, Jayce." All Viktor could think of, in that moment, is you being snatched away from him- of you, alone in a cold, dark, prison-made-hospice, withering away, rotting while impersonal and frightened nurses and doctors poked and prodded at you, making at best half-hearted attempts to save you.

If you- if you were going to go, he wanted it to be in your bed, with him, under warm heavy blankets and in your comfortable clothes. Surrounded by things you loved, just the way he wanted.

The calm he so carefully had been trying to build up cracks again, the fragile twine of his psyche is unspooling, tears rising, and Viktor startles at the feeling of big, heavily calloused hands on his face.

Jayce is rubbing the delicate skin just beneath his eyes, a soothing little back and forth for Viktor to focus on, he can see the twinge of pink in Jayce's own eyes as he squeezes Viktor's face gently.

"I locked her in our bedroom." He finally admits, hoarse. "She was asleep when I left so I swapped the lock around. She can't get out."

"Alright...alright." He's nodding to himself now, and Viktor can see the fire start in his eyes. "C'mon, Vik. We've got a plan to hatch."

—

Viktor... you stupid, sweet man.

You're laying against the door now- crawled off your bed to it after struggling too hard to stand- having woken up to find that he's imprisoned you. You take a guess that he didn't like your suggestion to go to the authorities.

Your mind rolls back to the realization of what was happening to you, just hours before. The way he'd gone shock still and stared and stared at you like he couldn't fathom it- like every fiber of his being was rejecting the very notion, the thought that something so terrible had befallen you. The way he'd crumbled after the words left your mouth.

You understood- of course you did... But this wasn't just about you. People could die.

People have died.

You feel in some way better but also worse than you did early that night, if only because you have context for the illness rampaging through your system now, heedless of the way you're toppling down around it's wrath. Or perhaps reveling in it.

With the sun finally truly rising up in the sky, light has become fucking unbearable in a way words could not describe, the blinds and curtains zero solace- serving instead to mock the way your eyes scream and your head throbs against the assault. You'd stumbled over there awhile ago, hand clamped tightly over your eyes as you used all your feeble, feverish strength to push a heavy old bookshelf in front of the offending window. It hadn't cured the problem, but you felt like you could breathe again.

But the illness is still taking it's toll, you're hyperaware of the sun blazing in underneath the door, so harshly it feels as if you should find a floodlight on the other side instead of the lazy morning light you were used to. The kind of haze you used to wake up inside of with crusted eyes, ready to complain until you'd feel a sweet pair of lips against the corner of your mouth. It fills you with an odd anxiety, not being able to stand day like this. You don't know why you're even concerned, seeing as you're dying, but it's still there, suffocating you.

The hunger has reclaimed your stomach as well, you've noticed. Settling in against the pits like a lead weight that makes your muscles tense. Before the last twenty-four hours, you'd never felt any kind of hunger like this before, a starvation that makes you cagey and unpredictable, even for yourself.

It startled you to nausea, laying in that bathtub staring at the man you loved so, so much, to realize that the frantic pounding you'd heard had not been your own heart racing, but that of Viktor's, fluttering in his pretty chest. Your ears so keen, so sensitive now that if you face your ear to him, you could hear the blood moving through his veins. Like the disease was warping your body, adapting you to listen for the gentle sounds of life, fresh meat for the feast.

Warm blood, if the story Viktor told you is true to life.

You know, already, that this isn't going to go well, it's something you resigned yourself to the very moment you'd realized it. You had to because you knew Viktor wouldn't, and it would get out of control if one of you weren't...realistic. You're just- you're going to keep getting hungrier, and eventually the thin tresses of control you've managed to maintain so far are going to snap. Maybe, if you're lucky, raw meats will sustain you for a brief time- but not forever. It will progress.

You just hope Viktor comes to his senses by then.

The war drum is starting again, getting closer, the beat of life that makes your senses prickle, every inch of your body tightening- and then feel a bone deep fear at that subconscious reaction. Already losing your grip.

It's two sets of heartbeats, two sets of feet- and a third for a cane. Jayce and Viktor are here.

Even from the opposite end of the apartment you can hear Jayce swear- no doubt taking in the sight of the kitchen after your three A.M. fridge raid in the desperate pursuit of satisfaction.

"Vik? Jayce?" You croak out, that fever has you freezing cold and fatigued, cutting you down so that even the effort of speaking has become herculean. They're getting closer, so you slide yourself across the room, away from the door rather pathetically, propping up against the footboard of your bed as the rhythmic tick of the door unlocking meets your sensitive ears.

It's Jayce first, surprisingly, who steps into the room, he looks a bit like he's been shot when his eyes scan the intimate little haven of your home and finds you on the floor, instead of curled up among the blankets and pillows in your bed.

You look haunting, to him.

It's not your clothes and hair, that cling to you through the drench of sweat, it's not the way your pupils are dilated massively- and the way he can see them reflect like a feline, casting the light back at him, or even the fact that your skin was turning gray. No, none of that mattered, not to him.

It's how you try so hard to smile at the two men, and he can see the strain. Something that was so easy, so natural for you, and now forcing even the expression seems to exhaust. You've done nothing but sleep- far as Viktor tells him- and yet, you look so tired.

Like you're already ready to lose the fight.

Jayce approaches you slowly, not entirely sure what to expect from your behavior, only for his shoulders to slouch when he hears you giggle at him. "Not that far gone, just yet." Your voice is rough, the last time he'd heard you like that you'd wandered out in negative zero weather trying to get him his favorite drink, knowing full well how much he dreaded the snow. He'd lectured you for a good fifteen minutes, bundled up in front of the furnace of his forge, about the dangers of weather like that while you just smiled cheerily at him through the chattering of your teeth.

Your eyes, unsettling as they are, become so big and round and soft when you see him bend down, confused by what he's doing until he scoops you up into his arms. You're so small, not like Viktor who is- willowy and sharp angles, all those beautiful edges, no, you're just- tiny, and soft, and sweet, and drenched in sweat and sagging so heavily against him, face slotting against his neck.

Viktor comes up to sandwich you there against him, Jayce watches long fingers wipe away the sweat on your brow, tuck strands of hair behind your ear, check your pulse- and then Viktor's kissing your temple sweetly, and Jayce can see the way his eyes screw shut, brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry for caging you, Mouse. I just... I couldn't let you-"

"I know, Vik... It's okay." You say it softly, and your head tips away from Jayce's neck to look at Viktor through slits. "I'd be the same way, if our roles were switched."

"We need to get you to the labs," he doesn't mean for it to come out in a whisper, but it does- and you sigh, full body and heavy against him, face tucking back in against his neck. It should make him more nervous, he thinks. "It's not gonna be easy, not every day we're just carrying people into the Academy, but we should be able to manage it if we avoid the Enforcers' rotations."

Thoughts swirl around in your head unbidden, like fat, sharp claws raking against your brain.

Just how quickly did this ailment move? How much time did you have left? Is this how it will be, now? Viktor and Jayce sneaking around like criminals for you? How long until they get caught, how severe will the punishment be?

Are you worth all this?

But you aren't given an option, because to them? Yes, you were worth this, more than this, they'd burn Piltover to the ground if it could save you.

—

You're sitting in a ball on Viktor's desk in the lab. You note absently that it's even colder here than it was at the apartment, it's less an observation of feeling, and more simply a fact- like the way you know something is going to burn even without feeling the heat. You're aware of the way your body shakes, but it's not- it doesn't feel as if you are shaking, it's all sort of...out of body. Too captivated are you by the strangeness of your senses, the way the world is the same but not, bent just a little.

Your vision moves in patches of dark and bright, it reminds you of sunrays through water, moving in a hypnotic dance, like a living thing. It makes focusing hard, you find yourself wandering- drifting as you're caught up in the pretty ways the light dances, and each time your gaze snaps to some random corner of the lab Viktor and Jayce make odd expressions- but- you can't seem to hold focus long enough to piece together what it is. Your hearing is stronger than you realized, footsteps and drum-drum-drum of heartbeats, whistling and talking, sweet laughter that makes you smile, life is moving around you and you are privy of it in a way you never have been before, you decide you like it.

Even your touch has altered.

It's subtle, at least for now. The world seems to move around you wrong, liquid-y. Things push against you like waves, and you think you could follow the trails long after the thing that created them has left. It's like- you, and a pond, the pond is very very still- so still that when a droplet hits the water it ripples perfectly. You cannot tell if you're the droplet or the body of water.

You're staring at Viktor's bookshelf now, it's something you'd helped him stock for late nights in- you worried that maybe he'd get too restless trying to puzzle out some equation and not have a healthy distraction, a means to breathe.

Now it looks so different. The lights are dancing around it, catching off the books and making little lightshows that are impossibly fascinating in the moment.

You feel the ripple, and your head snaps to Viktor- who tried valiantly to not jump, but you still saw it, all the way down into his fingers, the way the muscles contract and tighten with shock. That hand is outstretched, he was going to touch you.

"Mouse..." he swallows thickly, and tries again. "Where did you go, sweet? You keep disappearing on me."

You lower your legs, slowly, and push yourself forward until your feet rest on either side of his thighs. He's smiling at you sweetly, but you can see the relentless concern there.

"Sorry, Vik. I know I'm supposed to be helping- I just-" how do you even begin to explain..? "I-I cant really uh- put it to words. Things are sort of- different."

"I'd imagine so, with the reports we've gotten." Jayce says softly, and he has it within him to even sound a little amused, something that makes you smile.

Viktor's hands wrap around your ankles, and he's rubbing softly with his thumbs. "Stay with me, mm? How do you feel?"

You nod at him, and twiddle with the laces of your stained pajama pants. The stain has taken on a...bizarre coloration.

It's not just pink anymore, but rather feathered with lilac striations that remind you of ice on a window. You watch it for awhile longer, and note with some awe that the lilac seems to be spreading before your very eyes- as if you're watching the stain age very rapidly.

"Mouse?"

Your eyes snap back up, Viktor's hands have stilled, Jayce has stilled, they're both just staring at you, and they look concerned. "Hm? Sorry?"

Viktor sounds a bit grave when he whispers your name. "Please... what's happening..?"

Your mouth goes dry with understanding, they're not concerned- just, concerned. They're scared.

"D-do you see-?" You gesture a little helplessly at the stain, and Viktor leans forward to inspect.

"Yes... I- I suspect that's from the steaks, no?"

"Not that-" you shake yourself off, your own fear making agitation rise. "Do you see the...the colors?"

"What?"

"It's- it's turning- purple, in like... these patterns." Your hands flail a bit for effect, and you're aware that every word that leaves your mouth is making it worse, not better.

"Viktor... Viktor she's- she's progressing very-"

"I know." Viktor's voice is cold. "I know."

"Is it because of where I was..?"

They both look to you, as if suddenly reminded that you are in fact there to hear this.

"I-I mean, I was next to the blast, yeah? It's why I ended up buried in the rubble. They had to pull all kinds of shrapnel and things out of me..." You touch wounds that aren't even fully healed yet. "Is it progressing faster because I got more of it than the others?"

Viktor and Jayce sink together into their mechanical minds- retreating to the safety of logic in the face of you unspooling before them.

"Yes, it's likely. More contaminants in your body, it's spreading faster."

"But would that mean we could hypothetically catch it in the process of infecting her?"

"Perhaps, yes. We could draw a sample, observe it's behaviors. Perhaps... create something to counteract it."

And that's how you see your new blood for the first time.

As expected- it comes out thicker than it should, and it's already turned several shades darker than blood should be, but by the samples littered about in this room, it was nowhere near its darkest.

Viktor and Jayce share a look, and then they're examining it under a microscope.

"Is it... Crystallizing?"

"That can't be, she would be hemorrhaging blood right now."

"Then what is that—"

You feel ill.

All the prettiness is starting to close in on you, aggressive and distressingly sudden. The ripples feel like torrents and the lights have gotten all too bright again, less like melodious ripples and more like searing tracks that should be burning the stone.

Noises, noises, noises, all around. You feel yourself panicking, it's too much- it feels like you're in danger.

And then it stirs.

The hunger.

But it doesn't make its bed within your stomach, no, it calls your chest home, and it's squeezing around your heart in a way that hurts. All those heartbeats- they call out to you, too close and too far away. You want to reach out, to grab them- sink your teeth in.

You're off the table and halfway to the labs doors when they notice.

Jayce, thankfully, is faster than he looks.

You're not moving right, he notices, it doesn't seem impeded or in any way like you're ill- it's just, odd and rhythmic, like you're dancing along to something- or maybe trying to move out of the way of things he doesn't see. Nevertheless he gets close and you notice, taking off as fast as you can for the door and he knows in that moment-

Oh.

No.

He barely gets you by the back of your shirt and you snarl, it's not an impersonation done by a human, either, it's this deep throaty thing that rumbles and gurgles and no one could make a sound like that.

Then you're lunging at him and he has to take you by your throat. You're clean off the ground and seem completely unfazed by it, scratching aggressively at his arms. Even through all the padding, it stings a little.

Viktor shouts at the sight, and throws himself into the fray.

He knows better than to try and talk you down, you're utterly vacant in the eyes- so he does something that makes him want to cry for the third or fourth time that day.

He sedates you, heavily.

You make an odd, awful noise, and then go slack within Jayce's hands. He falls with you.

You're bundled up into his arms, and he furrows his brows hard, willing the panic attack he feels coming on to go away, not now not now not-

Viktor throws something.

Several things, in fact.

All of it's heavy and metal, nothing that would break, but it clatters like gunshots all around the room and it's paired with the awful, awful cries of Viktor's rage, vicious and breaking on the edges, almost shrill. He's slamming his hands down on the table hard enough he knows Viktor's hands will hurt later, and he's swearing more colorfully than he's ever heard from the man before.

And then he slumps, and slides to the floor.

He curls partially into a ball, a hand tugging painfully at his hair, and he stares at you- at Jayce, from the corner of his eye.

The two of you could make a painting.

Something domestic, and lovely, Viktor thinks. You're still in your nightclothes and you look peaceful and gentle wrapped up in Jayce's big, strong arms. He's rocking you tenderly, and if Viktor ignores the way Jayce is twitching and the way a nervous sweat is breaking out on his skin, he could picture that Jayce is just sharing an intimate, private moment with you.

Idly, Viktor wonders if maybe you wouldn't be dying in front of him right now, if you'd picked Jayce instead of him.

"She's progressing too fast." Viktor says it with unnatural flatness. "She's not going to make it."

"Don't- don't say that." Jayce is still looking down at you, in his arms. He sees veins in your face that weren't there before, the way almost all color has left you.

"She's going to die." He croaks, and falls the rest of the way to the floor, curling up into a ball.

All it had taken was one day, just one day for everything to come crashing down.

—

When you come to you know you don't have long left.

You can feel it coursing through you, everything is getting so hard to move, heavy and unresponsive.

You're back in the apartment, and terrified.

Why would they bring you here of all places?

Why didn't they just kill you, now that they've seen you're already out of control?

Especially with what they knew you'd become, here before long.

Someone is laying next to you.

You turn your head, and in a mirror of that fateful night a mere few weeks ago, Viktor is there. But there's no Jayce to be found.

Viktor is asleep, for a moment you pretend that nothing is wrong, that this is just another one of those rare, sweet times you wake up before your Tinker does, and get to watch the way his lashes flutter, eyes roving behind lids. He was always so restless, even when he slept, it's that big, ambitious brain of his.

You stifle a gasp when you feel your heart jolt, painfully. Everything feels off and not in the way it had been before. This is more desperate, more human.

You- you'd thought- you knew you didn't have long but-

Already..?

You stroke Viktor's face, gentle, tracing the hollow of his cheek. It didn't used to be so severe, so gaunt. Not until he'd collapsed.

It was something you'd forced yourself to make peace with, months ago. Receiving the prognosis. The condolences.

Your Viktor was dying, is dying. You'd watched it, too, watched the transition as his body needed more and more support, the coughing fits and the nights where he'd wheeze so loud you couldn't sleep, so you'd stare up at the ceiling and weep.

But you knew it was okay, that you'd be okay, for him. So that he could go easily, so he wouldn't spend his last moment worrying.

You feel the tears welling up now. You let them spill over easily.

You barely speak it to the air, quiet so you don't wake him from his sleep.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry Viktor..." Your body shakes with the effort to keep from fully sobbing.

It's the kind of guilt that makes you breathless. The cruel realization that, you'd spent all that time coming to terms with the loss of Viktor, and now you were going to die first.

You were going to leave him, to suffer alone until his illness takes him.

It wasn't supposed to go this way. Even as a selfish part of you revels in the fact that you won't have to lose him, the rest aches. You were going to be there for him, be his rock, hold him and kiss him and tell him you love him, pet his hair that way he likes, you were going to spend his last days in lazy peace, relaxed and happy and laughing over fond memories.

It wasn't supposed to go like this.

He would be alone now. Terribly alone. Growing sicker, alone. Dealing with the fear, alone. Suffering. Alone.

You hoped that maybe, just maybe, Jayce would fill in the role you'd so cruelly dumped on him, now.

The tears keep coming for awhile, staining the pillows heavy as you beg him to forgive you for this, like a religious woman might her God. There was nothing greater than Viktor, in your life.

You force yourself onto your side, heavy like lead, and kiss his forehead, his cheek, his beauty marks, and his lips. Featherlight, stopping only when he starts to briefly stir.

Then, you force yourself up to your desk, and write Viktor a letter.

When he wakes, you're gone.

[the-witty-pen-name]

Tell Me Your Mine, Darling

Western AU 

18+ ONLY

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

Warnings: prostitution, mentions of smut, alcohol, cursing, violence, mentions cheating 

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Hey! As always, this is unedited! Please let me know if I missed anything to include as a warning. I’m on the fence if I should make this a longer story, I like the idea of this being a stand alone, but let me know what you think! I’d love to hear any feedback cause this is my first attempt at a Western AU :)

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The player piano echoed throughout the whole saloon, bouncing off the walls as patrons moved about the crowded room. The peppy music was perfect for dancing as a few of the men threw back shots of liquid courage and asked some of the women working tonight for a dance. It was a night where the people who came in through the batwing doors could forget about their troubles and the existence of sins, and partake in merry drink and debauchery. The night air hung heavy and the room smelled of sweat, cheap liquor and even cheaper perfume. 

The women were scantily clad in dresses only slightly less revealing than their undergarments, and the men still in their clothes from long days of travel. Cowboy hats, rugged trousers, and boots that lost their shine years ago. Girls carried around large trays of shots and lagers, passing them around to the drunk souls who struck rich for a night and opened tabs at the bar. 

It was a busy night both downstairs in the saloon, but also many of the girls were leading men upstairs to their beds, for a warm place to lay their head and anything else they can afford. That was the secret that kept this dilapidated building up and running. The music and the watered down liquor wasn’t enough to keep the sheriff from closing and condemning the building. 

If the owner was honest, he knew what kept the sheriff from coming and toting him away to rot in one of the two cells down at the jail. Not only was the sheriff partial to a drink or a few each night after the sun goes down, but he was particularly taken with one of the girls who worked there. Sure, the sheriff must’ve had his turn with every girl in the joint, but there was something about you which made the sheriff absolutely smitten. Of course, no one dared admit to seeing his obviously growing affections but the owner knew as long as you were here, and his glass was refilled, he had nothing to worry about. No one quite knows what happened. He went from coming in every Saturday night asking for whichever girl is free and then it went to asking only for you, every week without fail. 

People theorize that maybe it’s your honeyed smile or the sweetness in your voice. The ability to deceive every man into thinking they’re the only one to ever touch you. The ability to put on the act of the farmer’s daughter while having the dirtiest mouth on this side of the Mississippi. No matter what drew him in, the sheriff had declared you his girl and anyone with half a brain knew better than to try to say different. 

Nothing was any different about tonight, you watched from one of the stools at the bar while the other girls worked the room. Sitting with your legs crossed, your dress skirted up high enough to show the tops of your garters, you sip on your drink stealing glances at the doors waiting for him to arrive. You can’t help but let out an impatient sigh, balancing your high heel on your toe as you watch the clock that’s mounted on the wall behind the bar. 

“Slow night?” the bartender asked as she topped off your drink. You smiled, but it fell a little flat, not meeting your eyes. 

“Every man here is scared to come near me,” you chuckle dryly. Not that you were necessarily complaining- but you worried more and more as the savings you kept under your bed dwindled. The sheriff was a regular who paid incredibly well, but he was feared. And no one else would touch what he called his. You wanted to save up to get out of this town, salvage whatever was left of this life and do something. You didn’t want to live cooped up in that room and in this town for the rest of your days. You were luckier than most, that you understood and never tried to forget that, but still you found yourself daydreaming. 

You thought about the men you’ve slept beside and the wild stories they told you. You didn’t want to live a hard life, the tedious and unfulfilling work they told you about. But, oh, you were so envious of how they traveled. Seeing the naked lands of the country and going to different towns. You weren’t even sure what you wanted to do, but you wanted to have the option. So in a little cigar box under your bed. You scrimped and saved what you could from each week. But, being the sheriff’s favorite girl, meant no one else dared touch you, meaning you have been having to open that little box of savings more and more. 

“That ain’t the worst thing in the world,” you heard a voice next to you. Soft, and velvety- you’d recognize the voice anywhere as Dottie, one of the older women who had been working there much longer than you. Middle-aged, but completely sensual in her mannerisms and her voice. She had the ability to captivate an entire room with her prominent curves and everything you know, you learned from her. 

“I know, I know,” you try to explain, but she feels your frustration. She understands it, and she knows it better than you do. She’d been there herself. The restlessness, the feeling of being incomplete, the utter fear of your life being wasted away under men whom you’re never going to fall in love with. She knows.

But she also knows the harsh realities of this world and how it treats lost souls like you, and she doesn’t want to see how it can hurt you like it hurt her. She understood how demeaning this line of work is, and how from here there is no way to move up in the world. It’s a limbo, where you're stuck in this saloon, listening to the complaints of men who despite their hardships will always have it better than you. However, the alternatives for women like you are far less desirable outcomes for your lives. 

“Appreciate the gift you’re being given, sweetness,” she chuckles, watching as the bartender makes her usual. “As long as that sheriff keeps coming around, you’re working less for the same room and board the rest of us pay.” 

You know she’s right. You know there’s so many things wrong about this town you can’t change. You can’t afford to worry about things like that, while so many of the people in this little one room saloon are just trying to survive tomorrow. It’s never going to be an ideal, and the world is much too cruel for miracles to happen for a woman like you who sold their soul. 

Jesus befriended Mary Magdalene, so it never made much sense to you when folks in this town claimed you were damned to spend your own eternity in hell. You weren’t sure if the people in this town actually read the Bible. Granted, you didn’t know much about religion yourself. But long ago you learned religion was a luxury only the wealthy people in this town could afford to follow, and they were the ones who could afford to participate in the sins you peddled. But, that was just one woman’s observation. 

Dottie disappeared back into the crowd as quickly as she arrived, and soon you were back to watching the doors again, waiting for the sheriff to relieve you of your ever growing boredom. The place was in full swing as a posse of men you don’t recognize entered, talking about how they were on their way to the coast, to mine for gold and become millionaires. You can’t help but roll your eyes, and you keep to yourself as they whoop and holler, making demands of the barkeep to send out a round for the whole place on their dime. Their rowdiness makes you flinch, and for the first time tonight, you find yourself anxiously waiting for the appearance of the sheriff so you don’t have to entertain the likes of them. Maybe God does like you, because before one of the men staring at you has an opportunity to saunter over, the saloon doors open suddenly and you can be saved. 

You know you shouldn’t find it thrilling, but there is something about being his favorite that fuels your ego on nights like this. The most commanding man in the town, calling you his- making you have this untouchable status for the night. It was the closest you think you can ever be to royalty. In that bar, on the nights he regulars, you’re a Queen. It’s a rush that's definitely spoiled you and yes, in the moment, you absolutely revel in the power you feel as he changes the atmosphere in the room- with his hardened blue eyes locked right on you. 

“Evening, sheriff,” you coo and shoot him a smile, genuinely happy to see him. 

“How many times do I have to ask you to call me Lee, darling?” He smirks, placing his hands on your knee so you uncross your legs and he can stand between them. The feeling of his hands on the exposed skin of your upper thighs sent a tingle right up your spine. His thumbs slowly rubbed circles on your skin, making you shiver. 

You rest your hands on his chest, rubbing gently, your hands shamelessly feeling the strength of his chest under his shirt. You straighten out the gold sheriff’s badge on his chest, and you can feel him tremble slightly at your touch, which strokes your ego more than it already was. 

“I forget,” you tease, straightening out his tie. He smirks, looking down at you as his hands trail up higher, resting on your hips under the skirt of your dress. “I need you to keep coming back and remind me,” you flirt shamelessly. 

“Your usual, sheriff?” the bartender asks over the loud music, people settling back into their own business after the excitement of the sheriff arriving has died down. Lee replies with a quick thank you but doesn’t take his eyes off of you. 

“Did you miss me, darling?” he quips, rubbing your sides, his thumbs trailing across the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I always do,” you wink, leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to the side of his jaw. “It’s so slow when you aren’t here,” you practically whine, pouting your lips slightly. 

“I’m sorry about that, sugar,” he mumbles, leaning in and trailing kisses down your neck. 

“It’s your fault you know,” you tease, your nails scratching his scalp affectionately. 

“Is it now?” he chuckles, as he nips at your skin. 

“No one else comes near me,” you admit, and you feel him smile against your skin. 

“Good,” he murmurs against your collarbone. 

“Ice is melting,” you chuckle, referring to the drink he’s ignoring on the counter. He just chuckles, pulling away only long enough to finish the drink in one long sip, and you watch as his Adam’s apple moves, and how the condensation of the glass drips onto his knuckles. 

After he places the empty glass on the counter, you pull his arm to lead him upstairs with you. He takes your hand and let’s you lead the way, he knows like the back of his hand, and at this point better than his own house.

“Impatient, darling?” he teases, “Not going to ask me for a dance?”

“You never say yes,” you giggle, “Figured you want to have some privacy.”

“I might’ve said yes,” he retorts and you can’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Would you have?” you counter and he shakes his head no with a devilish grin. 

“One of these days, doll.” 

“I’ll be an old maid,” you joke, continuing up the stairs and down the hallway towards your room. 

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he says. You don’t know exactly what he means, but you don’t push him for an explanation. As soon as the door clicks closed behind you both, Lee’s lips attach to yours like if he waits a second longer he’d evaporate. 

“Been dreaming about this,” he mumbles against your neck, leaving a trail of love bites that send a shiver up your spine. “Think about you every night I can’t visit you.”

You noticed how much more intimate your interactions with the Sheriff were gradually becoming. You weren’t sure how much of it he meant. The way he fawned over you and treated you like something more. Plenty of times, men behaved this way, never admitting except behind closed doors that that craved a much deeper sense of intimacy. You had always assumed the Sheriff was no different.

He’d take care of you, and you saw over time the way he handled you changed. It used to be rough and impersonal, oftentimes as well relying on you to do all the work so to speak. But, overtime, his visits became more of a mutual endeavor, and soon he was kissing you like how he is now, or begging to let him settle his head between your parted thighs, saying he felt good making you feel good. 

“I’m addicted to the feeling of your skin, darling,” he whispers as he lets his fingers linger as he pulls the straps of the dress down your arms. When the dress pools at your feet, he stares in awe like it’s the first time seeing you, and then soon enough his lips are on yours again and his hands are free to wander where they please. 

“Most stunning thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers as you work on taking off his shirt, teasingly slow at undoing the buttons. 

“You say that everytime,” you point out and he chuckles, running his hands up and down your sides. 

“Cause I mean it everytime,” he smirks, walking you back until the back of your knees hit the back of your bed and you lay down with him on top of you. 

One time a month or so back, you were sitting on top of the bar counter with him settled between your legs. You were using a rag to wipe blood off of his face after a messy fight that happened. Well, a fight that he started. 

“I didn’t like him looking at you like that,” he grumbled, still fuming and he winces slightly as you press the damp cloth to the cut by his brow. “Shouldn’t be touching you like that,” he slurs, and you can smell the whiskey on his breath. 

“Just means I’m doing my job right,” you chuckle, amused at his possessiveness. “It don’t mean nothing,” you say.

“It don’t mean nothing when it’s me either,” he pouts, with his eyes closed like he could fall asleep standing up. You are convinced he’s just drunk and doesn’t know what he’s saying. He leans on you slightly to keep himself upright, and you move to wipe the blood that is smeared by the corner of his lips. 

He’s so handsome, you can’t help but observe. From a distance, sure he’s gruff and rough around the edges but he’s got the most handsome face you think you’ve ever seen pass through. You’ll never admit to yourself that you were taking your time patching him up so you could just look at him like this for a little longer. It’s always nice sometimes to pretend a situation is something that it’s not. 

“Tell me your mine, darling,” he almost whispers when his eyes flutter open again to look at you. His gaze on you felt heavy and you weren’t sure what to make of it. 

“I’m all yours, Sheriff,” you can’t help but chuckle, thinking he’s just fooling. Just trying to tease you. He frowns and looks so  sad, those damn blue eyes more expressive when he’s drunk. 

“Tell me your mine,” he asks again, like a whispered plea as his eyes roam over your face. 

“I’m yours.”

By the morning, he’s always gone. He always leaves more than necessary, insisting to you the night before not to tell the owner. He doesn’t want him taking a bigger percentage. He whispers not to worry, and to let him take care of you. He knows how much he affects your wages and he wants to do the right thing. 

Lee doesn’t like to pay you. It’s a horrible reminder to him that you don’t actually care one way or another if he shows up or not. It’s the terrible wake up call come morning that you aren’t actually his, as much as he asks you to say it. 

You’d just have to say the word and he’d do just about anything to make you love him back for real. But he knows that this can’t ever go further. You deserve to go off and see the places he hears you tell the other girls about. You don’t think he knows about you wanting to leave but of course he does. 

The pictures of far away cities are hung on your mirror held up between the frame and the glass. There’s a picture of New York that sometimes he’ll stay up staring at, knowing your heart ain’t tied down yet to one place like his is tied here. He can’t leave and he knows he can’t in good conscience ask you to stay. He knows you would, but not for the reasons he wants. 

Good god, you’re still young and have a spark in you that he damn well knows he doesn’t want to be the one to put out. He wants nothing more than for you to look at him and see you could be happy and be in love. But what life is that compared to the life you’re dreaming of. You have hopes, dreams, and Lee knows he isn’t at the center of any of them. 

So for now, he settles for the time you share with him when he comes by like tonight. Where he hopes he can silently tell you with his touches how much he feels for you. Where he can carefully tread the waters of sweet sentiments in hopes you’ll return them without him asking. It’s not real, none of it is. 

He can hold you close and touch every part of your body like it’s only his to see and feel. He can hear every noise you make and watch every reaction to his touches and it fuels him for now. It’s enough for now to leave bruises on your skin and pretend it’s enough to keep others from knowing you’re his. It’s not, because the marks won’t matter. 

He can feel himself inside you, and feel how your body reacts to him. The way to him, nothing will ever come close to the feeling of you around him. He’s addicted and he can’t go back. He’s been ruined by you, and no one else will ever come close to adding up to you. 

But it’s not real. He’ll go home in the morning, and lie to his wife one more time, swearing that it’s the last time he goes back. He’ll tell her he worked late and slept in the Sheriff’s office. He’ll make the promise that he’ll be home on the weekend. But it’s not real. Because, he knows that he’s going to find himself going back to you. And he prays to God you won’t be there.

Taglist:

@missyellowbirdie @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @weenersoldierr @msgodofmischief @lowercasegenius @demirunner​

[notsogreatgamer]

On Alyssa Zaidelle

This ended up way longer than I thought it would. So, I’m putting it underneath a read more with just this: 

Alyssa Zaidelle is a woman who felt backed into a corner by a fate she couldn’t and didn’t know how to escape. She is a tragic, human character that--to an extent--cared for Hope Estheim.

I don’t necessarily hate her character, even with her plans to murder Hope or the traits revealed in the Fragments After novellas. Her motivations are entirely human and fueled by fear and need for survival. Even as she is attempting to murder Hope, I felt sympathy with her. This could have been because Hope himself was so desperate to save her. But according to the wiki when we meet her in Bresha Ruins, she is 19 years old and living through nightmare after nightmare about her own death, her own paradox source. 

She is described as popular, charming, bright, and willing to help anyone that may ask; and she does indeed present this whenever we first meet her; however, it is also revealed that she is a good liar and believes lying is an excellent tool to move her forward in life. This trait is noticeably at contrast with her previous description and we see less of this trait in the beginning. Bresha Ruins 5AF Alyssa comes across as open and earnest in her need to find out the truth and in her grief at her friend’s death; but this slowly changes over time. I believe this is because she is a living paradox, a living lie. She is conscious of this. Deep down, she knows and realizes that she did die during the Purge and that she is only alive because of the paradox. Because of this, she is constantly afraid that Serah and Noel will erase her and constantly wondering at her safety and permanency in the timeline. What her character boils down to is fear.

She is driven by it and her actions reflect it, but I don’t think Alyssa truly wants to live this way. She says to Noel and Serah during parting at the gate where she ultimately betrays them: “Sometimes, when it looks like all hope is lost, people can turn against each other. They end up full of hate. But really, when they stop and think about it, they’re making themselves sad for no reason.” I think this was about her. It was her warning to Serah in a way and her inner reflection. 

She has proven that--even if her motivations are somewhat different and more selfish than Hope’s--a good heart is hiding somewhere in her. In Final Fantasy XIII-2 Fragments After, she sets a trap for Hope but allows him to read her journals that exposes her inner most thoughts and fears and she begs him not to forget her as she fades from existence as the paradox is solved. Her journals reveal a certain soft spot for Hope, despite her anger. 

Upon discovering this, Hope does something I feel not many people would have when they are being threatened, he thinks this: 

It must have been so hard for her--all alone with her fear of vanishing, watching this clueless man advancing his research “for the future of humanity.” [...] Alyssa wasn’t even sure if she would be allowed to exist from one moment to the next, and yet, there he was, believing in the future without a shadow of doubt. Just watching him must have offended her so much. He must have driven her crazy. 

Every single thing he said and did probably felt like nails on a chalkboard to her. That was why she was making him erase all these duplicates of her. They wouldn’t actually bleed, but he had to watch people with her face and her voice vanish, over and over. Each one was a wound left behind in his heart. 

-p. 101, Fragments After

He sees her pain and her fear; and instead of being angry that she is trying to murder him, that she has betrayed Noel and Serah, Hope attempts to reach out to her.

“That’s why we’ll look for a way!” Hope yelled desperately. “We just have to identify the paradox connected to your existence, keep that timeline running as close to the distortion as possible, and stabilize it. We should be able to stabilize it even with a partial paradox. And we have travelers who can help. If we can get Serah and Noel to work with us, then I know--” [Insert her revealing that she has betrayed Serah and Noel] If they had known of Alyssa’s plot, though, Serah and Noel could still be safe. Maybe they wouldn’t want to help someone who had tried to harm them, but Hope could manage to convince them somehow. Alyssa had made all his research possible. They couldn’t turn him down if he begged them to help save her. 

-p. 102, Fragments After 

And it goes on and on like that--with Hope so desperate to save her, constantly making pleas to her and trying to convince her to trust him, to work with him. Even after her full betrayal is revealed, Hope still tries to save her, but she must not have even considered his help an option. She has spent so long lying and being generally distrust of people around her that she doesn’t even think to confide in Hope. 

What really kicks me in the pants is this: 

The gun and Alyssa’s fingers around it were already mostly gone. Tears were streaming down her face. Hope tried to wipe them away, but his fingers just slid through Alyssa’s cheek.

“Why are you being kind to me? I tried to kill you,” she said. 

“Because I’m still grateful to you. You were an excellent researcher and a talented partner.” 

She was two-faced and selfish and kept her true feelings buried deep inside. She lied as if it was second nature. But Hope had known all that for a long time. Nevertheless, her research was the real deal. No matter what her motivation had been, the results she had created were genuine in every way. 

“Thank you. I’m sorry--for everything.” Alyssa said. She smiled. “And I mean it for real this time, okay?” She was smiling through her tears, but he could hardly make it out anymore. “Even if I never existed in your new future...if you could remember me just a little---” 

The wind seemed to whisper her last words: I’d be so glad.  

-p. 103, Fragments After

The end of Alyssa Zaidelle is tragic and made even more so because Hope does forget her, even if he feels as though someone else should be there with him. Alyssa, in return, reveals that she holds some affection for Hope in the Lightning Returns Canvas of Prayers quest. Lightning is tasked to find an old photograph of Alyssa and Hope and return it to Alyssa who then stares down at it. She regains her memories and requests that Lightning tell Hope that it was an honor to work for him--even if their time together was never real. 

Alyssa Zaidelle is a woman who felt backed into a corner by a fate she couldn’t and didn’t know how to escape. She is a tragic, human character that--to an extent--cared for Hope Estheim. 

[screechthemighty]

An Essay About Resident Evil: Village That No One Asked For But I’m Posting It Anyways

So, the Beneviento House is my favorite part of Village for two reasons. One: it’s the scariest part of the game, don’t @ me. Two: On a second play through, it actually reveals a lot about the issues in Ethan and Mia’s marriage. There’s a lot to unpack here with that, but the tl;dr of it is this: I believe what Ethan experiences in House Beneviento is trip into Ethan’s psyche rather than an actual, physical event, and this trip confirms that his arguments with Mia were made worse by a) him worrying about Rose more than he worries about himself, and b) him assuming that Mia is worried about the same things he is; thus, his hallucinations of her are more a reflection of himself than they are of reality.

All of my logic and evidence is under the cut. Fair warning, it’s very long, I am so sorry, I really am. Aso, please note this is NOT a Mia-bashing post. We do not engage in Mia-bashing on this blog. Please go to someone else’s blog if you want to engage in Mia-bashing. Thank you.

There’s two important things to establish here. First: I think that 99% of what Ethan experiences in House Beneviento isn’t real, and is at least partially a manifestation of Ethan’s inner psyche. The evidence is as follows:

It makes no sense that Ethan would lose his entire inventory within the space of 0.5 seconds after the lights shut off. It makes much more sense that mind control made him think he no longer had a gun.

Several of the items and information used in the puzzles are things that Donna, logically, shouldn’t have access to. The music box was still in their home when Chris arrived (which wasn’t that long ago, keep in mind), I doubt Miranda cared enough to find out Rose’s preferred toys and the identity of who gifted them the music box, and there’s no way Donna would be able to get that picture of “Mia’s” dead body. Mia’s wedding ring is tentatively on this list, too; Donna would have access to it, since Mia was being held captive at the time, but I can’t remember if Mia is still wearing it when Chris saves her, so put that one down as a “maybe.”

You stab Angie (or, more properly, stab Donna) for the final time in the back room by the elevator. However, right after stabbing and killing her, you are suddenly by the front door again, the main part of the house is in shambles in a way that suggests a struggle, and you’re not holding the scissors anymore. If you try to backtrack to check the elevator, the door leading to that part of the house is locked (presumably From The Other Side, as they often are in RE).

Additionally, your entire inventory is spontaneously back in your pockets. In Biohazard, if you had inventory taken off of you, it had to be retrieved from a box later. Not this time (though, granted, this game doesn’t HAVE inventory boxes, but it’s an interesting detail when combined with everything else).

All of this, to me, points to Ethan having probably never left the main foyer throughout the majority of that mind trip. As for the hallucinations being fueled mostly by his psyche, a diary entry from the gardener mentions that the plants made him hallucinate his deceased wife, and as mentioned above, a lot of the puzzle relates to things specific and personal to Ethan. While I don’t doubt that Donna could and probably did influence the hallucination a bit (she is a puppet master after all), the building blocks were all there in Ethan’s head.

Second Important Thing to Establish: Ethan was completely missing the point during his arguments with Mia in the lead up to Village.

I’m of the opinion that the fights Ethan mentions in his diary were not a constant thing. I think they only started, at the earliest, while Mia was pregnant, but for sure after Rose was born. This is because pretty much all the canon evidence we see about their fights circles back to Rose. The diary entry where Ethan describes the fight they had is dated four days before Ethan’s death; meanwhile, the flashback fight (which is most likely of that very fight) is triggered by a conversation about Rose’s doctor’s visit and uses language that implies a lot of their talks (and presumably arguments) about “staying positive” have to do specifically with Rose and the move.

It’s also worth keeping in mind how much of Ethan’s thoughts about Dulvey and moving past it are related to Rose. Like, yeah, I’m sure he wants Mia to heal for her own good and he’d like to heal for his own good. That’s to be expected. But whenever he talks about moving to Europe and healing from Dulvey, it’s also about doing it for Rose and for her benefit (“so we can live our lives with Rose without it hanging over our heads” in the diary, “We moved here so that she wouldn’t have to deal with any of that” in the argument with “Mia” at the start). Additionally, in the flashback he says, “[Rose]’s going to be fine, I just know it. What else matters?” Rose is Ethan’s #1 priority and much of his concern is focused on her.

But—and this is the important thing here—not all of Mia’s is. The end of the game reveals that Mia knew, most likely as a result of her pregnancy with Rose, that Ethan was a megamycete hybrid.  In the flashback fight, she says, “I keep telling you, it’s not Rose that I’m worried about”, and the one moment when she truly explodes on him is after he implies that the only thing that matters is Rose’s safety. “We matter, Ethan! YOU matter! You just won’t-” Her exact words. We never find out what the won’t is, but I have a feeling what she’s getting at is that Ethan is unwilling to look past his worries about Rose and always circles the argument back to her. Now, we don’t see this directly, as we’re only privy to one real argument of theirs (Miranda being bitchy doesn’t count), but there’s past evidence to suggest this was probably the case.

The thing about Ethan is that he can be single-minded in his protective instinct, and we’ve known this since the last game. There’s a little throwaway moment in Biohazard where Mia thanks Ethan for choosing to save her over Zoe. He responds “Who the hell else was I going to choose?” with like, zero hesitation, and she seems taken aback by the response. Now, of course, Mia being his choice makes sense, she’s the whole reason he came here, But Zoe did still help him out, and she is still a victim in all of this. She deserved to get out of there as much as Mia did. But Ethan chose Mia without any hesitation, would have chosen her every time, and while he did promise (and keep said promise) to help Zoe, Mia was his top priority. He lost a limb (or two, depending) and dragged himself through hell for Mia—and keep in mind, this is despite him being on some level aware of the fact that she was involved in all that mess (he POINT BLANK ASKS, “You had something to do with all of this, didn’t you?”) and after she’d behaved aggressively towards him (granted, that was while she was under mind control, but that would definitely give some people pause).

Ethan cares about other people in his life first and foremost. Ethan barely cares about himself. He focuses on saving Mia at the expense of his own safety and someone else’s, and when things start getting bad again after Dulvey, his sole focus is on how it could affect Rose. I have a feeling a big part of the reasons the disagreements happened, in addition to Mia keeping information from him, was Ethan focusing on Rose’s safety, as if it’s the only thing that they could have to be worried about, and how frustrating that must have been for the woman who has seen first hand what Ethan is like and how much trouble his intense protectiveness can get him in. (Note: this does not excuse Mia from not just like. Telling him the truth, but I have my own theories about that, so we’ll leave it at “they were both talking past each other in a big way and that wasn’t helping the marriage any” because my analysis of Mia as a character is WAY beyond the scope of this post.)

Now, you’d think, you’d think with Mia having repeatedly telegraphed that Rose isn’t the problem here, that Ethan would on some level be aware of the fact that something else is going on. But he isn’t, or at least, he isn’t aware of the right things, and Beneviento House proves it.

So, Ethan is having a hell of a bad trip based off of his own insecurities and fears: his unresolved issues with Mia and his daughter’s safety. We have established above that Ethan has completely been misreading his arguments, and with that in mind, everything that Hallucination!Mia says from the second you see her gets really interesting. Starting with:

“Rose feels different. Ethan, you have to fix her” and “That’s a kick. […] She’s so energetic, it’s crazy.” Mia most likely caught on during the pregnancy that something was different about Rose. They were already ordering medical reports, including fungal pathogen testing by the BSAA, and her health was a definite source of anxiety for Ethan (his response to reading her medical file being a relieved sigh). Mia notices something is different about Rose, probably works it out, and realizes what the wider implications are for the family. Ethan is just plain worried about his daughter’s health, assumes Mia’s worries match his own, and that assumption is reflected in both the memories that come to the surface and the words his psyche put in Mia’s mouth.

“I can’t tell Ethan anything about this”, “Everyone leaves me, even Rose. I don’t want to be alone” and “I didn’t want to keep it from you. I didn’t want to lose you again. I didn’t want to destroy this family. I love you both so much. I had to. I had to do it.” Now, I don’t think the last two are anything Mia has directly said, but they all could be Ethan’s interpretation of her recent behavior. As mentioned above, he’s already aware that she’s kept at least one secret from him, and seems to know something is going on with Rose. If Mia’s not telling me, it’s because she’s worried about both of us, and doesn’t want to break up the family.

This one is a bit of conjecture and my own personal interpretation of Mia, but you’ve come this far, so hear me out: through these hallucinations, Ethan reads the aggressive secret-keeping as an attempt to keep the family together so that Mia won’t be abandoned again. I think he’s probably at least partially correct in that assumption. However, I think it’s also partially a projection of his own desires and motivations (keeping his family together at any costs). On top of that, he’s definitely missing the fact that Mia knows something is up with him as well. Telling Ethan doesn’t just potentially mean wrecking the family; it could wreck him on a personal level, and put him in a lot of danger. So while Ethan assumes it’s just about the family, there’s a lot more on Mia’s mind. That a lot more just isn’t reflected because Ethan doesn’t know.

The final bits of audio you hear are Mia crying for Rose, then repeating to herself that everything is going to be fine. Again, we know that Mia was worried about more than Rose. Ethan doesn’t. Ethan is worried about Rose first and foremost, has misread Mia due to his singular focus and lack of vital information, and in misreading Mia has created this version of events where Rose is the one who’s really in danger. Despite Mia indicating there’s more to it, he still reads what’s going on as being Rose-centered, and the fact that Rose is now genuinely in serious danger doesn’t help with that.

At the end, when Ethan says “Mia. I’ll make things right”, he’s talking about the wrong thing. He’s saying he’ll protect Rose, he’ll save her, he’ll keep her safe in a way he hadn’t been able to with Mia.

What he’s missing is the fact that, while he might’ve been just worried about Rose, Mia never was. That’s one part he can’t make right. Mia would’ve had to; she just never got the chance.

(Sidebar no one asked for, but I personally think she would have, either of her own accord or because the BSAA fungal reports (which seem to be the test results the doctor wanted to talk to them about if I’m understanding the timeline right) would’ve blown the whole thing wide open for her. It was basically inevitable. Doesn’t excuse all the secret keeping up until that point, but I like to think she would’ve come clean. Freaking MIRANDA JUST HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT THOUGH - )

[ymiwritesstuff]

Oh god your requests are open! This just made my day! Okay so, since i am in a total dimitri rabbit hole (dike damn i love that man wtf) Can i please request some angst for him × a fem reader? Maybe she took a lethal hit for him in battle and now she is in the verge of death? He carries her back to the monastery and stays with her while she is unconcious? My brain dried so you can take this request the path you'd like! Thank you, and btw, your stories are perfect!♡ like, you are so talented!❤❤❤

Hey there, Anon! Thank you so so much for the kind words, I am more than happy to hear that you like my stories! I hope this turned out the way you wanted, thanks so much for requesting!!

Questions And Guilt

Fire Emblem Three Houses

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd x Fem!Reader

Summary: A turn in battle leaves Dimitri distraught and at the mercy of his inner battles.

Notes: Angst, Small SPOILERS for Azure Moon

Blood. Blood in his hands as he carried you, his footsteps heavy against the ground as he tried his best to run back to the monastery. Every now and then his panicked eyes would glance down at your unconscious features, begging to whatever higher power there was that you would stay alive. The battle had ended abruptly as soon as the arrow that was meant for him pierced a critical spot on your torso instead. In the heat of the moment, no one was sure what had occurred. Only when your body hit the ground did the realization hit everyone. And now, Dimitri was desperately trying to save you.

His classmates and professor followed, not being able to keep up with the crown prince’s speed that was fueled by his slowly growing despair and the voices hidden inside his head. They were screaming at him, blaming him for your predicament, and cruelly chiding him for his neverending failures. It pained him, but he pushed them aside, for right now, your safety was of more importance than his own inner battles.

Dimitri felt your faint breathing. It gave him some hope, but also reminded him that time was against him, and if he didn’t hurry, he would lose the battle against time and possibly lose you forever. He would never be able to forgive himself, and the fear plagued him as he ran, holding you as close to him as he could almost subconsciously. He had never run like this, incited by such grim thoughts, but through it all, he somehow had to find the power to save you or get you to someone who could.

You winced, squeezing your eyes shut briefly before weakly opening them, slipping in and out of consciousness. “Di-Dimitri...” His cerulean eyes locked with yours and it took all the strength in him not to let a single tear fall out of them. Dimitri felt powerless as he looked at your stunning (E/C) orbs that still managed to look back at him with such warmth and love, despite everything that had happened. You were glad. Glad that he was safe, and with a smile and a strangely warm feeling in your core, you passed out again, leaving the prince with his inner thoughts.

“Worry not, (Name).” He whispered, holding your closer and running towards the entrance of the monastery despite his body being at its absolute limit. 

“I will save you.”

~

The situation was far more dire than he or anyone else present at the battle had thought. While Dimitri had managed to get you to safety and under the care of Professor Manuela, even she wasn’t certain of your fate. She wouldn't say this out loud, but somehow he knew. Maybe it was the voices he unwillingly housed in his head that told him, he wasn’t sure, but something gave him an uneasy feeling of uncertainty he could only partially ignore when he was next to the bed you lied in.

He felt peculiarly tranquil when he looked at you. Your form looked almost ethereal, bathing in the faint sunlight that pierced through the curtains. The bandages covering your still sensitive wound were visible, the soft blanket only covering half of your body. Dimitri could see your chest rising as you breathe, but a part of him was filled with fear that it would suddenly stop. He wanted to hold your hand but was afraid that it would be as cold to the touch as the snow of Faerghus.

Guilt troubled him, as it often did after the Tragedy of Duscur. He couldn’t help but compare this moment to the one that had caused him endless suffering. Once again, he was going to lose someone dear to him. Once again, he would be the sole survivor of a tragedy. The voices screeched, louder than ever before. All he could hope was that your angelic voice didn’t join in on the grueling shrieks and cries.

Why did this happen?

He found himself asking that question often, never receiving an answer he yearned for. Was he cursed? Was it his destiny to witness his loved ones die and internally torment him for the rest of his days? For a long time, he had given up on finding the answer, but in this very moment, as he looked at you, the questions bedeviled him once again. Why did it have to be you? He could have taken the vicious hit. It would have been appropriate for someone like him who yearned for revenge, and yet, you chose to save him.

Dimitri shook his head and buried his hands in his hair, trying to ease his mind but to no avail. So long as you remained unconscious, he was left with his own heavy thoughts that tortured him. He wasn’t certain if you would survive, no one was. He was on edge the whole time, thinking nothing but how he could have prevented all this had he been stronger. You courageously protected him, but at what cost? Now you were on the verge of death and he would once again be left alone with his hidden misery.

The screams were getting louder, if that was even possible at this point. They rang in his ears, causing him to grip his head in pain. He could hear them mocking and tormenting him, they surrounded him, the voices of the people he had lost so long ago. He silently begged them to stop and tried to convince himself that he was not to blame, but his own thoughts and the shrieks inside him extinguished them, reducing them to ash. Why? Why did it have to be you? You were going to perish. It was his fault and there was nothing he could do to save you. He failed to protect you, he wasn’t strong enough, he couldn’t-

“Dimitri..?”

His head shot up to look at you, blue eyes dampened by tears that pooled in them. Your eyes were open, though weakly, looking at him and his disturbed state. You sensed his worry, but also his relief as he fell to his knees next to your bed, finally mustering enough courage to take your hand in his. It was warm, full of life. All his fears seemed to melt away, at least for a moment, and he couldn’t help but bring your hand to his lips, pressing heartfelt, soft kisses on your knuckles.

“I thought I lost you.”

His voice was as quiet as it could be and it made you frown your eyebrows in worry. You were happy to see him alive, that was your goal when you decided to push him away from the approaching arrow. However, seeing him so distraught and afraid twisted your insides uncomfortably. The way he held your hand so desperately, afraid to let go. “Dimitri.” You call him quietly, which makes him look at you with those gorgeous eyes of him. You move your hand to his face, caressing his soft skin, trying to bring him even the tiniest amount of comfort.

He leans to your touch as if this is the last moment he’ll ever feel it. You were alive, yet he couldn't help but doubt it. Perhaps it was once again due to the vicious noises he still heard, though faintly. However, he was glad that they allowed him this moment of happiness.

“I won’t leave you.”

He presses a kiss on the palm of your hand, still enjoying the warmth of your touch he missed. All the doubts he had, all the feelings of anger and sadness left him. Your gentle touch took them away and replaced them with a feeling of calm and prosperity. For the first time in hours, he smiled.

“I know.”

[monomas-a-smug-bih]

unexpected comfort (kurapika x reader)

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Kurta eyes. The posh man was talking about Kurta eyes.

The bloody anger in Kurapika’s eyes began to seethe and brew again. You tried your best to stop it, though you weren’t sure there was much to do once he’d gotten like that.

You and Kurapika had landed a job together, you didn’t care much for the details since it wasn’t very dangerous for once, and it almost had seemed like a nice night out until now. You had come to be filled in for those you were hired by on the latest information they’d been concerned with, but were much too occupied to come receive it themselves apparently. Although you and Kurapika were both bodyguards, you arrived as a spoiled relative and he kept his position, but as your bodyguard.

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

The man’s voice that was practically selling the eyes of one of Kurapika’s ancestors had brought you back to crude reality of the situation. The bustling energy of the ballroom seemed to muffle as soon as the older man had revealed something of his he shouldn’t have. At least not in front of your “body guard.”

You gulped, wondering how you should answer. Staring over to Kurapika, you realized, yes his eyes were indeed beautiful. But to have them floating aimlessly in a jar? You cringed at the thought.

“Yes, they are quite beautiful.” You bit your cheek, not enjoying the words in your mouth, or his stare from behind you on your conscious. Before the snob could start his rambles on luxuries and riches, you cut him off. “So why are they in a jar?” You we’re trying to bite down your own anger now, understanding the reason for Kurapika’s constant fuel for his anger. It was these people.

“Well, sweetheart, the value doesn’t lay with the container, rather...”

“It’s not- when you see something beautiful, is your instinct really to kill it and shove it into a jar with a price tag?” You couldn’t help yourself, were these people really this blinded by something as trivial as jenny? “Shouldn’t it be left alone because it’s beautiful, because we fear of disturbing its grace? I...I don’t think beauty is something that should be locked up, do you?” You’d gotten too into this conversation, your true feelings shining through. The rich man before you and Kurapika both wearing varying shock on their faces.

You had to maintain the character you’d brought here, or your cover would be blown! You were a woman who liked to think of herself as respectful, but instead thought of something a bratty, spoiled girl would say and tried your best to act the part. You feigned hurt as if you’d personally taken offence, adding an obnoxious sniffle or two. “Why! D-didn’t you just call m-me beautiful?” Your bratty facade was working, he was probably used to working with pig-headed brats, the man flew to your aid.

“N-no milady! I didn’t mean anything like-“

“I’m hurt terribly Sir, truly, and going to the tables now.” You falsely crossed your arms in a pout, turning to Kurapika and winding your arm into his closest to you. Sure, you’d made a fool of yourself, but you smile at the fact that waiter might be fretting over your ‘hurt feelings’ all night. You turned to Kurapika, wondering how the silent boy was after that ordeal. Though his eyes had calmed, you still saw a ring of crimson, hiding subtly at the edges of his eyes. He was wearing contact lenses, but that didn’t stop a the thin sheen of blood red that peeked through when he was troubled. “Hey.” You rubbed his arm in an attempt of comfort, but to not much avail. After a squeeze, he finally looked your way, and he seemed to let his face thaw, his eyes slowly returning to a more true silver. Kurapika had seen you in action before, it was nearly amusing how harmless you could seem to strangers. You sighed in relief.

On your way to the buffet, you both turned into the kitchen you two knew would be empty, you were to await a call from you employers somewhere alone. “What’s your favourite food?” You leaned back on a counter, feeling the need to fill the silence after minutes had passed.

“...I don’t know.” Kurapika stood straight up, almost as if he was refusing rest. You’d always admired his soft almost angelic features, and equally soft and angelic looking blonde hair, but he always carried a heavy sense of either exhaustion or intimidation with him, his sleek black suit adding to the second. He gave off exhaustion only when he felt he could let his guard down, at least partially so, you assumed. From the way his muscles seemed to untense at the shoulders whenever it was just the two of you in a room together. For some reason, that gave you comfort around him.

“Ah, me neither really, though I do love dango. The ones with a lot of flavour...” You tried to focus more on the imaginary dango and less on Kurapika’s hard shell.

“What’s the point of this small talk?” He questioned, eyes on the ground for whatever reason, did even raising his eyes make him tired? Your heart sank a little, the look on his face hardened again.

“It brings me comfort, most of the time others too. I don’t like it much either, but it helps the silence.” He seemed to ponder on that, sliding down to take a seat in the floor himself with a meek sigh, his hands pale against the sleek gray floor.

After no call for another few minutes, you’d figured the two of you had been early, or perhaps your employers had their hands full with something. Kurapika’s thin yet smooth voice surprised you, breaking the silence. “Talking to that man, were you being honest?” Kurapika had been wondering about that conversation ever since it happened. It was the most assertive you’d ever done from what he’s seen, that is before you backed off and sauntered away with him, safely so to his relief. But he still couldn’t help but think whether honesty or fear made those words form in your mouth. Did you say that because you believed it, or because you feared being on anyone’s bad side? To him you were an enigma, a tricky one at that. Kurapika never put much effort into reading other people unless they were his opponent, yet you’re usually unknown and unspoken thoughts had always peaked his interest.

“I was.” You declared.

“Really?” He sounded sceptical, or maybe just indifferent.

“Really, so honest I almost busted our cover.” You sent a smile his way, and Kurapika wasn’t sure what to make of it. You could tell he wasn’t fully convinced.

Later, after waiting for what felt like hours, you reached under a cart nearby, hands landing on small bowls. Rice! You’d be lying if your stomach wasn’t writhing this entire time, you hadn’t eaten for most of the day now. Placing them on top of the cart, you searched for cutlery, eventually finding a couple sets of chopsticks.

“I’ve been starving. How about you, Kurapika?” You asked gingerly. The stoic boy simply looked up at you, leaving no reply. You frowned and slid a bowl over to him anyway, hoping it would brighten his mood a little. Feasting on plain rice, you enjoyed every grain, finally fueled up again for any fighting you may encounter. Kurapika’s eyes seemed to catch something on your face, though you weren’t clueing in at all. He closed his eyes and sighed, stretching his long legs and striding over to you, who was still perched on the counter. He approached so he was standing between your bent knees, you fought your surprise when he swept his thumb across your cheek, a sticky grain of rice falling off as a result. His face was close to yours, and you couldn’t help but be lost in those marble eyes, light glinted against the red earrings beside them. You murmured something too muffled to hear. He hummed for you to respond. “...I wasn’t lying.” You managed, the only way he’d really believe you, might be face-to-face. You wondered if through your eyes he could see your thoughts with his own colourless ones. “You’re eyes...they really are beautiful, even just like this.” Actually, you decided, you preferred them like this. The lack of striking red meant Kurapika’s was a little more at ease, you preferred him in his less troubled state, no matter how stunning his scarlet eyes were. The boy was taken aback, but your hands landed softly onto his cheeks, so he remained as close to you as he was, so he couldn’t back away. “They don’t deserve anything like that.” You finished sternly with your eyes on his, you heart practically pounding, the tone of the room quite saddened. Surprisingly, when Kurapika’s hands travelled hesitantly up your arms to the hands on his face, it wasn’t to yank them off. His hands were on top of your own, and he shut his eyes, a shaky breath escaping his lips, seeming to relish in the rarest feeling in his life:

Calm.

You were shocked by the allowed closeness, Kurapika’s lithe form leaning into your own. It seemed he’d finally broken down a little at that, though no noise of defeat came from him. Silently and carefully, his head of blonde hair had descended onto your shoulder, and you felt his weight sink into your arms. Your fingers combed through his light hair as you leaned back slightly onto the counter, allowing him to relax into your embrace. It was peaceful, so peaceful.

You prayed the phone wouldn’t ring, at least not for a while...

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

ummmmm hiiiiii ummmmmm I wrote a bit of this a while ago but just finished it up and it is 11 pm on a school night hehe haha hoho, hope someone enjoys this rando piece of writing, also don’t ding me if it’s not accurate to the manga I made half this up, is he still a bodyguard? Mafia boss? Who knows? I don’t 😳 anyways he needs hugs

[jensengirl83]

Regret and Redemption Chapter 7

Dean x reader

Mechanic!AU

Word Count-2264

Warnings-Angst, language, heartbreak

Summary- Reader has left Dean and is trying to move on with her life. Can Dean prove himself and convince her to come back home?

A/N- Thank you to my beta @emoryhemsworth​​​ and all my girls and guy for the encouragement to keep going with this series. I love you all!

Amazing series cover and text dividers courtesy of @talesmaniac89​ 

To say Dean had a bad week was an understatement. Sam had told him that Stacy had filed a lawsuit against him and his business, he still missed his wife, and now he needed to sign his divorce papers. He had been putting off signing them since Sam had been there earlier that week. Signing them meant his marriage was over, that Y/N would no longer be his wife, and he would be alone for good. Alone. That was one of his biggest fears.

Dean always had the tough guy exterior but was actually a very complex man. He never liked to show his emotions, but they were there, and when Dean felt something, he felt it deeply. His Dad had been a hardass man, and Dean had always felt that was how he needed to be. He learned early on to just push down his feelings and be a man, or what people thought a man should be. It wasn’t just his emotions that Dean kept hidden, he also hid what an intelligent man he was. He never felt the need to broadcast it to everyone. He knew what he could do and that was enough.

He also had his fears that he kept to himself. That was one of the reasons he was in the mess he was in now. Dean had never thought highly of himself despite the cocky front he put on. He always thought that he was never good enough. He wasn’t a good enough son, brother, husband, etc. His insecurities fueled his need for the booze and women, seeking gratification any way he could find it. If he could have only curbed his self-loathing and been what Y/N needed and deserved, she would still be there, a fact that made him hate himself more and more every day.

Dean sat on his couch, whiskey in hand, as was his usual routine now. His eyes were drawn to the unsigned papers laying on the coffee table where they had been since he received them. He glared down at them as he clenched his jaw in anger and frustration, thinking on what he should do when his phone broke his train of thought. The face on the screen had made his mind up for him.

“I signed the damn papers Y/N! Your lawyer will have them in the morning!” Dean yelled and hung up the phone. He knew that was the reason why she had called in the first place.

Dean stood and threw his whiskey glass against the wall as he looked around for a pen. If a divorce was what she wanted, then that was what she was going to fucking get. Dean was at the end of his rope and just wanted everything to be over so he could mourn for what he lost in peace. He grabbed the papers from the coffee table and slammed them against the wall, signing his name furiously before throwing them and the pen to the couch. Dean grabbed his jacket and keys before storming out the door. He needed to let his frustration and anger out on someone, and he knew exactly where to go.

Y/N stared at her phone like it had burned her. She called to ask about the papers, but was his reaction really necessary? Her eyes had begun to glisten with unshed tears, her heart aching at the news he had signed the papers. Of course, she wanted him to sign them and get the divorce over with, but it was still painful to think that it was all over now. Her relationship with the man she had loved for so long was now going to be just a memory. Y/N began to pour herself a drink when her phone started to ring. She rushed over to answer and saw it was her editor.

“Hello Steven,” Y/N answered as she went back to pouring her drink.

“Hi Y/N. Are you free for lunch one day this week so we can discuss where you are in your latest novel?” he asked.

“Uh, sure. What day would be good for you?” she asked as she bit down on her bottom lip. She hoped to get a little more time to get caught up with her writing.

“How about tomorrow? I’m in town and could meet you at Harvelle’s,” Steven said, and Y/N could hear something in his voice.

“That’s fine. I can meet you there at one o’clock. Will that be ok?” Y/N asked.

“That’s fine! See you tomorrow Y/N,” he said, hanging up the phone.

Y/N hung her head and groaned. She was so far behind on her writing since all of this happened and she wasn’t looking forward to being bitched at. Everyone at her publishing company knew what had happened thanks to Dean’s stunt at her launch party, but she had been letting it get to her and interfere with her career. She wasn’t on a time limit to finish, but she knew they wouldn’t be happy to know that she had fallen behind.

Y/N made her way back into the kitchen and filled her glass with brandy. She had never been much of a drinker, but she had always appreciated a good strong liquor, especially these last few months. She never imagined this would be her life. If someone had told her two years ago that she and Dean would be in the middle of a divorce, she would’ve laughed at them. She wasn’t laughing now; nothing about her life funny at all. When they got married, she thought she would be a mother by now. Funny how life has a way of flushing your hopes and dreams down the toilet. Y/N threw back her drink, finishing it in one gulp, and decided to go to bed and end this shitty day.

Dean pulled up to the curb and slammed the door to the Impala. He never would’ve done this, but he was too pissed to think about it. He felt the grass give under the weight of his boots as he made his way to his destination. He didn’t come here often, but today he had things to say to the man that helped to make him the way he was. John’s tombstone came into sight and Dean’s legs felt like they were going to buckle beneath him, the weight of the emotion and unsaid words between him and his dead father bearing down on him. Dean collapsed to his knees in front of the stone marker. The words he had always wanted to say began to spill out of him like the tears that were spilling down his cheeks.

“How dare you! How could you do this to me Dad?!” Dean yelled at the tombstone in front of him.

“You always told me to act like a man. No one wants to hear a cry baby. Well, guess what I’ve learned Dad? MEN CAN SHOW EMOTIONS TOO!” he screamed as he furiously wiped the tears from his face.

“I’ve lost the only person who will ever truly love me for who I am because I let you get in my fucking head! I was always your little soldier huh? Always did what dad said, followed orders without question. Look at where that got me!” Dean couldn’t hold anything back as he continued to yell at his dead father.

“Why Dad? Why was I never good enough for you? Mom would love to know some of the things you said to me when I was young, raising me to be a man’s man. Well, that worked out great for you! Your reputation as John Winchester, the great mechanic, husband, and father is still intact while my life and marriage are falling apart!” Dean hung his head and sobbed but continued to speak.

“I can’t blame you for everything, now can I? You didn’t make me fuck those women. I did that on my own, but I can blame you for my low self-esteem and self-worth, and I do! It’s obvious now the only thing I did right that you thought was a good idea was to watch out for Sammy and ask Y/N to marry me,” Dean said as he looked back up to the name engraved on the granite in front of him.

“You’ll never know how much I wish that I would have been the son you wanted, Dad. Maybe you could’ve just been proud of me instead of screwing me up for life! I’ll always love you Dad, but you were a horrible fucking father!” Dean growled as he stood to walk away.

“I will never forgive you for how you made me feel about myself, but I guess I’m partially to blame for that. See you on the other side,” Dean said as he turned his back and walked away.

Dean had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn’t noticed that someone had walked up during his screaming. Mary had been coming to place new flowers on her husband’s grave when she heard the yelling. Dean’s words had her speechless and she had hidden behind a tree to listen to the rest of what he had to say. She had never known that Dean felt that way about himself and it broke her heart. As she watched her oldest son get in his car and drive away, she knew what she needed to do.

Dean made it back home and took off his jacket when something fell out onto the floor. He looked down to see a piece of paper with something taped to it. He bent down to pick it up and his heart stopped when he realized what it was. Y/N had a charm made for him when they got married to add to the necklace that Sam had given him when they were younger. The charm had gotten lost and he never thought he would see it again. He pulled the perfect replica of the Impala from the paper and opened the letter.

Dean,

I’m not sure when you will see this, but I wanted to surprise you. I know you thought that you would never see this again, but I had it remade for you. I hope you love it! You deserve the world, but I hope this will be enough to show you how much you mean to me! Now that you had the clasp on the necklace fixed, you shouldn’t have to worry about losing it again. I know you love Baby almost as much as you love me, so I wanted her to be close to your heart again where she belongs. I love you, Dean Winchester! Forever and always yours my love.

                                                                                                                   Y/N

Dean held the charm in his hand as the note ripped his heart to shreds. Y/N always dated every note she had written to him, and this one had been dated almost seven months ago. He was so wrapped up in himself and feeding his need for reassurance that he hadn’t even checked his pockets. That was something she always did, left sweet notes in his jacket pockets. If Dean felt like shit about everything before, now it was tenfold. She had replaced something that meant the world to him and he had never even noticed. Dean unclasped his necklace and slid the small silver car where she had once been. Dean made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a big glass of whiskey. He had no intention of even pretending that he was ok.

Y/N woke up the next morning to pour herself her first cup of coffee when her phone vibrated on the counter, getting her attention. She turned to see that she had a text from her uncle. She opened her phone to read it and felt her heart begin to ache with the words on the screen.

Uncle Johnnie: Dean’s brother sent the divorce papers over this morning. They are signed and we have a court date two weeks from now to have it finalized. I pulled some strings and had it pushed up so you can get this over with. I love you, honey.

Y/N felt the tears trying to form in her eyes. This was it,  everything was going to be over in two weeks. It was a bittersweet moment. She was happy that everything would be done so she could move on, but she was sad to see the end of the marriage she thought would last forever. Y/N let herself shed the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She closed her eyes and let the emotions overtake her. She would always grieve for the man and the marriage she had, but now she had to move on and live her own life. Her phone buzzed with another text, and she looked to see what her uncle was saying now. She was shocked to see that it wasn’t her uncle that had texted her this time.

Mary: Y/N, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, and I understand, but Dean is not doing so well, and I hoped we could talk about what exactly happened. He has me very worried and I can’t get him to tell me much of anything. I will always think of you as my daughter, Y/N. I truly hope you will message me back and let me say what I need to tell you.

@flamencodiva​​ @sorenmarie87​​ @foxyjwls007​​ @waywardbeanie​​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @voltage-my2dlove​​ @hardcoresupernatural​​ @msmarvelouswinchester​ @lyarr24​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @akshi8278​ @midsummereve1993​ @sutton2001​ @emory91​ @halesandy​ @miss-nerd95​ @ellewritesfix05​ @bxbyizzy​ @winchest09​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @defenderrosetyler​ @hobby27​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @talesmaniac89​ @deanwanddamons​ @atc74​ @superfanficnatural​ @smol-and-grumpy​ @supernatural-love14​ @vicmc624​ @squirrelnotsam​ @tatted-trina6​ @xhannahbananax03​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @nihilismworld​ @winchester-wifey​ @mrsfox79​ @malfoysqueen14​ @moron225​ @deans-baby-momma​ @lovelyrocker​ @fablesrose​ @queenofchaos7​ @maralisa124​ @deangirl93​ @aimee-ginge​ @anathewierdo​ @donnaintx​

[babi-correia]

Officer Down

From Anon #1:

Would you be able to write a really angsty story with adam ruzek x reader and they are both members of intelligence and they have a fight in the locker rooms and it affects their work, and then reader gets injured or something and at med it’s just fluff? thanks, i love your writing!

And Anon #2:

Could you do number 13 and 20 with adam ruzek x reader? preferably reader is the one who gets hurt, i live for angst lol! thank you 13- “Don’t die on me, please.”  20- “You’re the only thing that makes me smile.”

I thought these really fit in together!

Words: 2109 (...ops?) Warnings: Canon-typical violence, gunshots, injured reader, cursing, blood... angst, I guess, be prepared for anything Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader A/N: I’m still working on my angst-writting skills, but I hope you guys like it!

“Adam, this is ridiculous.” You snap once you walk into the locker, not caring if someone else hears you. He, on the other hand, quickly shushes you as he scopes the room for prodding ears and closes the door. “See what I mean!”

“You know how Voight is about dating within the unit.” He says, going back to his locker. You throw your hands in the air.

“For God’s sake, Adam!” You can hear the desperation in your tone, and it makes you cringe. “We’ve met each other’s family; everyone knows we’re dating except the unit.”

“And it will stay that way.” He says sternly, making his way out of the locker room and leaving you there alone.

Your blood feels like it’s burning with anger inside your veins and you slam the locker door shut, barely controlling yourself before you step outside and into the bullpen.

The white board stares at you mockingly, the case displayed having been there for over two days. Child abduction, where four kids had gone missing and two had come up dead by the river. The whole police force was on overdrive trying to catch the perpetrator, but no one was making any progress whatsoever.

“Third kid came up by the river.” Voight says curtly, updating the board. “And I don’t see any progress on the case!”

He places a pin on the map, in the place where the kid was found, and you approach it, tapping your finger on it as you recognize the area.

“I have a CI that lives and hangs out in that area.” You mutter. “He’s from my time in Narcotics. I’ll pay him a visit and see if he saw anything.”

“Alone?” Adam asks, prompting a glare from you. Typically, you would take someone with you, but today it would just be adding fuel to the fire.

“Yep.” You say, patting your pocket, checking for your keys before you trot down the stairs and into your car.

You make the drive there while thinking back to your relationship troubles, nearly running a red light shortly before you reach your destination.

You park under a tree, turning off your car and calling your CI. He picks up at the second ring and you instruct him to meet you at your car, which he promptly does. He closes the door after he enters, eyeing you warily.

“It’s been a while.” He remarks, fiddling with his hands.

“This area of town has been quiet. Until that kid came up, that is.” You say calmly before turning to him. “You don’t happen to know anything, do you?”

“I, erm… I heard something about a black car not from around here.”

“What do you mean ‘not from around’?” You ask, picking up your notebook and your pen.

“Out of state. It was orange and black, I think.” He says, scratching his head.

“New York?” You ask, pulling up a picture of a New York plate on your phone and showing him. He nods. “You remember the plate?”

“I think it had a GO something in the letters, and two fives in a row.” He says, tapping his fingers on his legs. “It was a lady driver, I’m sure of that. And I’m almost certain there was a rental sticker on the back window.”

“So, you’re saying that it was a woman, and that she rented a car in New York, and then came all the way to Chicago?” You say, scribbling down on your note pad.

“That’s what I saw.” He says. You nod and slip him a couple of bills, prompting him to leave the car.

You begin to make your way back to the precinct when you notice a shiny black car with a huge container trailer parked on an abandoned lot and slow your car until you stop at the end of the street. You grab the portable radio and hook it up to your jacket, checking your gun and holstering it before you grab the car’s radio.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ocean requesting immediate back-up at the abandoned lot by the river in South Lock Street, sighting of a suspect’s vehicle, a black sedan with New York plates, RTO-9554. Plain-clothed officer on scene making initial approach and assessment of the perimeter.” You say into the radio, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car.

You turn your radio’s volume to the minimum, but Adam’s voice is still perfectly audible through it.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?! Wait for back-up!” He hisses through the radio, making you roll your eyes.

“Focus on getting here, Ruzek.” You say coldly, your hand resting on your holster as you inch towards the abandoned lot. The area is open, no trees or buildings for you to hide behind, so you just hope for the best as you get closer. You hear the sirens in the distance and curse out before picking your radio up again. “50-21 Ida, George, David, Adam, and all assisting officers, kill the sirens and the lights. The area is exposed and all we have for us is the element of surprise.”

But it’s too late. The cars are already on the side street when they kill the sirens, and it was enough to get the woman’s attention, as she exits the container with something in hand. You quickly draw your gun, but it’s not quick enough. You hear the bang and feel something hitting hard against your chest as you fall backwards.

Everything grows numb for a moment, the sounds drown out and you feel yourself falling to the floor, but can’t really find it in you to care about it. The numbness subsides partially and you regain your hearing, being able to hear a lot of shouting not too far from you. You feel your shirt sticking to your chest and start feeling a white-hot pain that knocks the wind out of you. Next thing you know, you’re struggling to breathe.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), can you hear me?” You barely hear Adam’s voice over the noise of your own blood rushing through your ears. Adam’s at your side, on his knees and looking at you with a frazzled expression. “Don’t die on me, please!”

You look down at his hands and see that they’re covered in blood; in your blood. Panic sets in and you look at him with wide and scared eyes.

“I don’t want to die.” You rasp out desperately, holding Adam’s forearm as he tries to stop the bleeding. You can see the tears in his eyes and feel your own streaming down your face as you cough. One of his bloody hands shoots to his radio before he speaks.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ida again, officer down! Where’s my fucking ambulance!?” He shouts, his hand trembling when he lets go of the radio. He gets a vague reply from Main and focuses on trying to stop your bleeding as you feel yourself growing colder and weaker.

��Adam…” You say, meekly putting your hand on his arm. He looks at you, fear, sadness and despair evident in his face. “I love you, never forget that.”

He stifles a sob as one of his hands leaves your chest to cup your face, wiping out a tear.

“I love you too, but don’t die on me, c’mon (Y/N). I know you can do this.” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he turns his attention back to stopping your bleeding. You hear footsteps rushing towards you and see the rest of the unit looking between you and the three different streets next to where you are.

You can hear the sirens in the distance, but you’re fighting a loosing battle against your eyelids. You rest your hands atop Adam’s, making him look towards you.

“You know… I always wanted to die for something.” You rasp, watching him shake his head and shushing you. “You being here makes it better. I always feared dying alone.”

“(Y/N), you’re not dying.” This time the sob comes out loud and clear, and it breaks your heart. “You’re not, you’re not leaving me, not yet, c’mon.”

“Adam…”

“Don’t you dare. I know you love me, and I love you, but you’re not dying, you’re not leaving me here stranded and alone. You’re going to be fine. We’re going home and watching a crappy movie cramped up in that small couch of yours, but we’re not going to actually watch the movie because you’re going to be making silly remarks and comebacks about the movie, and then you’ll tickle me because the movie is so bad that you can’t even watch it anymore. And then we’ll shut the TV off, and kiss and cuddle in the couch before we venture into the kitchen to cook dinner, and I’ll probably burn something no one thought it was possible to burn, and we’ll have to order something in and we’ll laugh about how much of a disaster I am before we go to bed and cuddle some more.”

Adam’s openly bawling when he finishes speaking, his tears mixing with your blood on top of his hands. You sob slightly before looking around at the members of Intelligence.

“There goes your plan of keeping everything secret.” You whisper, chuckling slightly before groaning in pain.

“That’s not important right now.” He says, his head snapping in the direction of the sirens. “The ambulance is almost here baby, hold on.”

“I love you, Adam.” You whisper, no longer able to keep your eyes open. Darkness consumes you as you vaguely hear Adam calling your name.

-

Adam finds himself in the apartment you’ve shared for the last two months. No one knew about it other than the two of you, and now Intelligence. Jay goes with Adam, urging him to take a shower and change into fresh clothes.

Adam just feels numb. He feels like his heart was ripped out and trampled in that street, left behind along with your blood. His emotions come back and hit him at once, making him collapse in the middle of the living room. His mind keeps taking him back and replaying the scared and sad look on your face as he saw life slowly draining from you. Jay kneels beside Adam and hugs him as Adam sobs.

“I can’t do this without her.” He manages to say, clinging to Jay as is his life depended on it. “I need her here with me.”

-

Adam nearly collapses when he sees you in the hospital room, your skin sickly ashy, more tubes than he wants to count connected to you, your eyes closed and your body unmoving.

What he would give for you to wake up right then and joke with him about how he was forced to out your relationship, or just hug him and say that you’re fine and that the two of you are going to be ok.

He gingerly sits in the chair by your bed, trying to rub away the stinging of his eyes from crying and grabbing your hand, gently tracing patterns.

Over the days, he talks to you a lot and refuses to leave your side. He’s pretty much memorized the timing of the beeping of the machines, so his ears perk up when one of them beeps out of time. He jolts forward and grabs your hand with his two.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks hopefully, sitting in the edge of his chair. He slumps when he gets no response. “Baby, you have no idea what I’d do just to have you come back to me. You’re my love, you’re my joy, my life, you’re the only thing that makes me smile. Please, please come back to me.”

“A girl has to almost die to get declarations like this?” He shoots up when he hears your voice, his eyes wide as they fixate on you. “You’re a huge teddy bear, you know?”

He launches forward and hugs you gingerly, hiding his face in your neck as he starts to openly cry.

“I love you so much, I’m sorry I’m an ass to you sometimes.” He whispers into your neck, sobbing. “I was so scared.”

You slowly wrap your arms around him and rub his back.

“I’m right here, babe. I’m not leaving you this early.” You say, making him pull away slightly before you speak again. You wipe his tears away with your thumbs, cupping his face. “I’m the only thing that makes you smile, right? So please do.”

He chuckles, tears brimming on his eyes before he brings his lips to yours and kisses you softly.

[random-mha-thoughts]

Worth (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Angst/comfort

Request on my Wattpad: “I was wondering if you can do a Todoroki x wolf reader where the reader is depressed and bullied because of her quirk and her family knows about her wolf quirk and disowns like they think she a disgrace abuse her and doesn't want her and she feels so worthless she gets to a point where she feels not good enough and that she completely loses control of herself and turns into wolf or monster version wolf and Todorki he tries to help her I hope this makes sense and I hope it's ok”

Word count: 2,038

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ 

a/n: I’m not terribly happy with this, but it was a different kind of request, and I’m glad I did it.  If it’s cringey, I’m sorry, but I hope it meant something to someone.

Also even though the request indicated female pronouns, I didn’t really use any, so consider this gender neutral.  If anyone was wondering, I wanted the character to be kinda like Atsushi from Bungo Stray Dogs with the hair color and the personality, but also with wolf ears, so do with that info what you will.

I run through the dimly lit streets, tears streaking through my eyes as my heart pounds and chest heaves.  I don't know where I'm going, but I know I have to get out of this hell I call life.  Everything I thought I knew was a lie, I was the only person who didn't know it.

Tripping over my own feet, I finally tumble down a hill and land at the base of a tree, finally stopping my rabid movement, but it doesn't help my mind running five hundred miles a minute.  I turn in on myself, trembling as the darkness surrounds me, clawing at me the same way I grip my legs to my chest.

The image of my parents smiling together with my younger sister is the only thing I see behind my eyelids.  The last time I saw my family, there was nothing but turmoil and contempt.  All the times my sister pulled at my ears, locked me in a closet, and cut me up; all the times my parents punished me by having me sleep outside "like the dog I am" for the slightest misdemeanors.  They used to always argue, there was always screaming in my house.

My former house.

When I got into UA and we were forced to live in the dorms, my parents couldn't look happier.  In front of Aizawa and All Might, they contained the sheer joy they felt like the actors they are, and when my teachers left, they hurried to throw all of my things out the door.

"Finally, we can get rid of her!" they cheered.  I can only watch in horror as they pack all my stuff away before pulling me by the ear and setting me out next to my belongings.

"Don't ever come back!  From now on, you're on your own!"  That was the day I became an orphan.

My parents always had this vendetta against me because of my quirk.  They don't know where it came from, no one in our family even had one like me.  My dad used to always accuse my mom of having an affair with another man after she had me.  I don't know why he ever stayed, if he really believed that was true, but they both looked at me with contempt because of the quirk I shouldn't have.  And then I did the worst thing I could've done: I lost control one day.  When I was playing with my sister, I don't even remember why I got angry, but I bit her and scratched her.  The only person who loved me in that house suddenly became scared, and grew to hate me just as much.

School wasn't any better.  Everyone teased me for being the tamest wolf they've ever seen.

"I thought you were supposed to be scary, you're actually a huge wimp!"

"What kind of hero can you be when you can't even stop mumbling to yourself?"

The only reason I was so quiet is because I couldn't even raise my voice to assert myself in my house without being punished.  My parents were so scared of me losing control again that they put me down for getting the slightest bit aggravated, so I learned to just lay low and stay quiet.  And I couldn't stand up to my bullies for fear of being punished at home.

I'm so ashamed of my quirk.

Going to UA was a dream of mine.  It was my ticket to being able to use my quirk freely, so I can learn to control it to become a great hero.  But I quickly realized how weak I and useless I was in comparison to the other students.  Not being able to use my quirk at home took a toll on me, it was a miracle I even passed the entrance exam.

Today was particularly bad.  I didn't do well in quirk training today; I've been trying to partially manifest my quirk in some parts of my body to temporarily amplify my strength, but it's just not working.  Going for a walk in town to clear my head, I spotted my family out together, happy and smiling without me around.  And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I tremble to myself under the tree, pushing against the rough bark biting into my forehead.  They're so much better without me.  I was holding them back this entire time, I should've left years ago.

I'm a failure as a wolf.

What kind of wolf am I when I can't even use my quirk?

I'll never become a hero.

This is all because of my stupid quirk!

"Fuck everything!"  I don't even realize when I'd stood up and started punching the thick trunk.  Blood drips from my knuckles, my vision blurry from tears.  "You'll never be a hero!  You're a failure!  All you did was tear your family apart because of the stupid quirk you can't even use properly!  Idiot!  Stupid!  Weakling!  Dumbass!  Homewrecker!"

Fury rushes through me, the grayscale colors in front of me fuzzing together.  My arms grow in size suddenly, my punches boring a large hole the size of my head into the bark and my nails have grown.  Looking down, I'm farther off the ground, my clothes ripped to shreds on the grass, and teeth have grown into fangs.  The shadowed silhouette of a wolf figure on two legs presses against the ground behind me, cast by the light of the moon.  I scream, which sounds more like a gravelly growl into a howl.  My blood boils with all the anger built up over the past ten years, fueling this wolf form I've only taken twice in my entire life.

I catch a familiar scent in the distance, blood warming my body at the thought of fresh blood.

"(Y/n)!"  A voice screams from the top of the hill I rolled down as it runs towards me.  Once the owner closes in and notices what's going on, he stops short, gawking up at my form.

I snarl, crouching down as if getting ready to strike.  My rage blinds me, only guiding myself by the smell of my prey as the shadows blur.

"(Y/n)," he repeats, more carefully this time, "Calm down, it's me.  I won't harm you."

My fangs bare at the boy.  I'm ready to take my anger out on anyone, friend or foe.  I stalk towards him.  No one's my friend, I'm all alone.

He takes a step back.  "It's me, Todoroki!  Get ahold of yourself!"

Shoto?

I grit my fangs at myself, clawing at the ground to keep myself from attacking him despite the rage instinct telling me to attack.  It hurts to fight, but I need to protect him.  He can't turn out like her.

"I believe in you, (Y/n)!  I know you can fight it!"

Another piercing howl screeches out of my mouth, overwhelming my head with painfully conflicting emotions.

"Try to breathe."  Shoto's voice calms down.  "Relax and breathe."

I loosen my tightened jaw and fists, smoke starting to come out of my nose in grunts.  I imagine it being my anger escaping out of me.  Feeling myself deflate, despair sets back in.  I almost hurt him.  I crouch down as my body shrinks back to normal, hugging my knees to my chest.  I'm physically and mentally burnt out, too numb to feel my emotions but I know they're still there.

Shoto approaches me, slipping his oversized denim jacket over my naked form.  "Are you alright?  Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I should be asking you that," I sigh, too tired to get up.  The wind brushes my skin and I clutch the jacket closed, slipping my arms through the sleeves.  "I almost attacked you, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, kneeling down in front of me.  "It's fine.  Why are you out here alone anyway?"

"I...saw something.  And I just took off running and I got here."  I rub my temples with my hand to ease an oncoming headache.  "Things just got overwhelming, but I'm okay now."

Shoto's mouth sets into a line.  "You're not okay.  You haven't turned into a wolf since you were eight, not even in training.  You must have been extremely distressed."

I shrink into myself.  "I don't want to talk about it..."

His bi-colored eyes rest on me, but he doesn't push the matter further.  "You look exhausted, let me carry you."  He squats down in front of me.  "Get on my back."

I'm happy he's much bigger than me, his jacket manages to cover everything down mid-thigh even while I'm on his back.  My arms hang loosely from his shoulders as he hikes up the hill and back to the main road.  It seems I ended up in a park near the town.  The streetlamps light the sidewalk, people staring at us as we walk by, but I'm too tired to care.

"Do you think it would calm you down to visit your parents?" Todoroki asks modestly.  "Or maybe you can go get some clothes-"

"My parents won't want to see me, let's just go back to school," I interject feebly.  A fresh set of tears threaten to fill my eyes.

He doesn't question it, continuing to walk as his gentle rocking pace persists.

"I'm surprised you aren't running away from me," I mumble as we reach the road going up the mountain to UA.  "I almost killed you."

"I know you wouldn't, I have faith in you."

I close my eyes, leaning against the side of his head.  "I'm so ashamed you had to see me like that.  I probably looked like a monster."

"Aside from the danger you posed in the moment, I think you looked...majestic."

My eyes fly open and I tense, waiting for him to elaborate.  How could he possibly think that about me?

"Your fur matches the gray of your hair, gleaming in the moonlight.  It looked soft enough to touch, all the way down to your tail.  But your ice blue eyes were my favorite.  Once you calmed down, they were practically glowing.  I'd like to see you like that more often, once you've trained enough of course."

My heart quickens at his compliments, heat rushing to my cheeks.  "Thank you, Sh-Shoto.  Though, I don't know when exactly I'll even get to that point."

He's silent for a moment, his steady rhythm continuing up the path.  "I've known you for a while, (Y/n), since we were younger.  I know I've never been much help with you and people teasing you for being weak, but I want you to know that you're not weak.  Obviously, you have a lot of emotional baggage with your family, and it's trickled into your own inner demons.  You should know that you're strong for dealing with it on your own all this time, but you should find family elsewhere.  I know you're stuck, but make your own family of people you care about, and - when you're ready - confide in them about your problems, they'll be there to help you.  I'm here to help you."

Tears silently roll down my cheek, but I don't want to wipe them and call attention to it, so I rest my chin on his shoulder.  "Do you think...my quirk is good, Shoto?"

"Of course I do," he answers without missing a beat.  "It's your's to use as you wish.  I know you'll use it to become a great hero someday."  His footsteps stop and he gently puts me down to face me.  "You're a good person, (Y/n).  Your quirk is an extension of yourself, and I know you'll use it for the benefit of others, even if you've probably made mistakes in the past."  His thumbs gently rub the wetness from my face.  "And nobody should tell you otherwise."

I lean into his touch, my eyes flying open when he presses his lips to my forehead.  His mismatched eyes bore into mine, glistening under the dim lights of the streetlamps and the moon.  My heart pounds at the amount of pure affection he's showering me with, it makes me want to cry even more.

"I'll be there to support you every step of the way."

[ignitification]

Hi so I like your BNHA metas and your take on the villains’ redemptions. The only thing I disagree with is you thinking Shigaraki will die.

Okay so yes I am hoping hard that he doesn’t die, but that’s not the only reason I say this. I wholeheartedly believe that Shigaraki will survive his redemption.

The number one reason is: this is a story about how Deku becomes the greatest hero who ever lived. We already know Deku is going to be the greatest hero ever-the question is how? Well, if Shigaraki dies, Deku has not accomplished anything that past heroes haven’t. Deku can’t the greatest hero who ever lived if he can’t save his very obvious parallel/counterpart. Just like Shoto is going to save Touya, and Ochaco probably will save Toga, Deku has to save Shigaraki. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t the greatest hero who ever lived, he’s a great hero—but he’s no different than All Might, who failed to save Shigaraki the first time. I believe this story is going to show us how Deku and his classmates (mostly Shoto Bakugo and Ochaco) are going to raise the standard for heroes, show us what true heroes are, and show how Deku and Shigaraki are going to put an end to the long battle between AFO and OFA—together. The set up for Shigaraki to play a huge part on defeating AFO is very obviously there, and we already know that OFA was created to defeat AFO-so there’s those two major set ups.

The number two reason: time and time again throughout the story the students have shown that you aren’t saved if you’re dead. Ending wanted to die, but during their fight Bakugo stated that that wasn’t going to happen. So what does this tell us? BNHA’s definition of saving includes being physically saved. And Nana’s definition in All Might’s flashback during his fight with AFO shows that hers and his definition of saving is saving the heart and body. Also, Shigaraki being Nana’s grandson is a huge part in his survival. Nana’s son already died prematurely, why should her grandson? It just seems like cheap writing.

Number three: BNHA is happy and hopeful and optimistic, and the heroes have hardly failed at anything throughout the story. Deku saying he wants to save Shigaraki, that was such a HUGE moment in the story. It would be dumb and wasteful for Horikoshi to just throw that obviously important moment away by killing Shigaraki off.

ANYWAY I like your metas and your blog, but I really hope you might have more faith in Shigaraki’s survival! I didn’t even dive into all my reasons for believing wholeheartedly he’ll survive, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

HI! Thank you so much for taking your time to read and like everything I posted, makes me extremely happy!

However, onto the content of the post, while I do agree to some degree with what you said - I am also very skeptical of it. You set very good reasons for Shigaraki's survival, that is for sure! But it might be just my perspective, and sixth sense, that screams at me hard that exactly because of the reasons you pointed out, Shigaraki is likely to die.

I’ll explain myself a bit better illustrating what I mean.

First things first, we have the whole narrative around Shigaraki. Or rather, Shimura Tenko. He is an extremely sad child who likes playing hero in secret. His father does not want to acknowledge his son’s ambition and his mother does nothing that might help him in the long run. However, this refusal to being accepted, as a child, as a future potential hero and a little kid who wants nothing more than his parents finally noticing that he is there, gnaws at him so hard that he starts scratching all over. And it fuels up his internal scratch, and by the time that peace breaks out, he killed his entire family and finally does not hate being himself anymore. Only that, this feeling lasts about an instant, and then Tenko is back again being an unhappy child with a scratch, painful memories and a quirk which he does not know at what degree can be harmful. Then, we are catapulted in his 20s, where Shigaraki looks pale, sick, consumed and frail at best, and decayed at the worst. He loses Kurogiri. He fails in his plans again and again. His body has exhausted itself beyond recognition, and he is being tested on by a mad scientist, while the person he thought was the closest thing to his father figure is actually using him. 

Shigaraki, at its core, is a lost character, trialing and making error after error to understand what goddamn he wants and what is feeling day after day. What does he wake up for? 

I hate saying this because Shigaraki is genuinely the first character I liked in BNHA, but he looks tired. He looks like he needs some rest. He looks like he needs a hug from his grandmother and her saying to him that he is not alone, and that it is okay for him to let go. 

I know this sound like sad words, which not even be true, but Shigaraki has been thrown to hell and back in these years and months and whatever he wants now is gone. He has nothing left but AfO’s will and the pure feeling of wanting to see everything decay. I believe that everything hurts him. Shigaraki has no tough skin, he is a bared soul to the world who has wronged him in so many ways, and once he gets his revenge nothing will be left anymore. Not in him, not for him. Because when he said he won’t forgive anyone, he meant it. 

My fear, however, stems mostly from the fact that AfO has gained control of Shigaraki’s consciousness. Not in all moments, but likely a lot of the time - which confirms my theory that Shigaraki is exhausted (going through the motions of whatever the doctor put him in) but still he is not ready yet to be the weapon AfO intended him to be. Which is why, as well, when AfO’s objective to gain Shigaraki’s body has been only partially succeeded, my alarms started blaring off. If, by chance, AfO does get Tomura under his total control, Shigaraki is as good as dead. It would be amazing, however, if the set up of him rebelling against AfO and making allies with Izuku into defeating him would come through. Point is: how is that going to happen?

Which brings me to a further point I want to address: I want to have hope in Deku and Shigaraki himself, but as I said, I really do not see it happening. It would be utterly unrealistic and would bring a lot of misunderstanding even if the story is set up for exactly that. I think that Deku, nonetheless, will try to save him, like he always does. Izuku is precious and yes, he would sacrifice himself every damn time again if that would bring everyone to safety.

Another thing which I wanted to address (I am trying to keep it short) is how you made parallels between Shouto-Touya, Deku-Shigaraki and Ochako-Toga. I am genuinely kind of unhappy on the writing of the women of BNHA. Maybe it is just me, but I do find most of them to be bland and with no appeal (which is no surprise, as the only interesting female character so far has been Rei for me). Ochako in particular, is very much the epitome of ‘Wanted to do loads - Accomplishment still in progress’ which relegates her to a very grey zone in my opinion, to the point that she seems instrumental to only express her gratitude and love for Deku by trying to get better, in which she mimics Toga (funnily enough). On the contrary, I dislike Toga. I really do not like her character, but I appreciate her behaviour toward the other League members and Twice in particular. Which is why, I am hoping that the two get a development soon (is Uraraka the traitor after all?). So as far as it regards them both, I hope this dichotomy between the two of them gets further explained and explored and that in the end we can really see Ochako evolving and Toga accepting herself as she is, instead of running toward fruitless horizons. 

Last things last, I do not agree with the fact that if Deku fails to save Shigaraki he will not become the Greatest Hero. Why? Simply because Deku’s accomplishments so far already put him in another league to everyone else, and I genuinely do not think that only because he fails to save him, he will lose his spot. However, I do agree that this is maybe the strongest argument toward Shigaraki not dying (surprisingly), because after all, this is still a shounen and the redemption theme is very strong so it might be that Shigaraki’s death might not be in character with all that has been planned so far. 

I am sorry if this post is a bit sad and/or confused. I just want everyone to survive and be happy, I just know that it’s not realistically possible. But thanks for not agreeing with me on this. I hope we can both hope for better days this way.

[desparikon]

Murdoc/Mac fanfic misfire #5

Codex wants Murdoc for Russ, and Mac’s determined to talk to him (and make a deal of his own) before potentially losing him forever.

Mac paced near the interrogation room, hoping movement would burn off his building anger before it boiled into rage he’d be unable to privately discharge. The conversations he’d eavesdropped on revealed that he wasn’t fully included in their plans. Oh, how it Pissed. Him. Off. His blood simmered under the silent judging from the war room.

Oooooh, Murdoc’s in a mood today!

What do you plan on saying? Whatever idea you think you have…

He’s clearly not going to cooperate, putting on a spectacle like that.

Every time Murdoc’s involved, you get thrown off your game--

Implying Mac couldn’t handle Murdoc. He could always handle Murdoc! Everyone rushed to condemn Murdoc’s obsession, and his twisted, carnal desires, but didn’t consider that Mac had trapped Murdoc. Murdoc was his.

No one knew about the struggle accepting his fluid and ambiguous feelings for Murdoc, forcing him to confront ugly things about himself. They didn’t see the painful swings between hatred and affection, or the guilt-filled urge to throw his current life away to explore an abstract, yet forbidden, path. (What does a future with Murdoc even look like?)

Oblivious to what their nosy, concerned eyes caged him with. Visiting Murdoc hadn’t been allowed. Fine. Then came loss and Codex and grief and the world going to hell. The fear of leaving too much unsaid blindsided him. Anxiety escalated into desperation, to acting out, and one final, exasperated interrogation later, crushing hopelessness shut him down.

He’d drawn too much attention. He wouldn’t be granted permission to visit Murdoc. Even if he was, he’d be heavily supervised, and unable to truthfully express himself. (What could he say to Murdoc, when he didn’t fully understand himself?)

After all that, after everything Codex destroyed, they dared to take Murdoc too? Well. Mac was done playing nice. Life continued pushing him toward the edge with nothing to lose.

He was sick of being stuck in a box! Sick of running the hamster wheel! Sick of bottling everything up! DON’T TELL HIM HOW TO FEEL!! DON’T TELL HIM HOW TO LIVE HIS LIFE!!

Mac quietly growled, digging his nails into his palms.

Forget rules, and black and white, and being good. He was going to do everything to protect his loved ones, and if his choices backfired, he’d make sure to be the first to pay up.

What a relief.

He took a few deep breaths, steadying himself before opening the door.

One shot, but what else was new. So what if Murdoc’s feeling combative today? So what if it’d been an absolute STRUGGLE to drag him from the garage to the interrogation room? It’s fine. Everything's fine. Leave it to Mac to garner Murdoc’s cooperation, since Murdoc likes only him, after all. Absorb Murdoc’s anger, violent fallout from Codex, his friends’ increased suspicion. Whatever. Anything and everything to save the world, right?

No outburst, no greeting, nothing, as Mac entered and sat across the table. Not even a glance in his direction.

The smile Mac hadn’t noticed he’d had, fell into a frown rivaling Murdoc’s, the excitement at finally meeting again quickly twisting into nervousness. Murdoc tapped rhythmically on the table, outwardly oblivious to the handcuffs firmly digging into his wrists, his earlier defiance having earned an extremely short leash. The dark circles under his eyes, and slight furrow in his brow made him look tired, or displeased, at most. But his vibes warned the tension needed only the smallest spark.

“You’re not going back,” Mac blurted, his brain deciding the superficial reassurance was the perfect opener after being starved for Murdoc’s attention.

The tapping didn’t falter as Murdoc continued staring pointedly at the door.

Worried he mistook the statement as a threat, Mac tried again. “We’re not taking you back to the black site.”

Mac’s heart ached. They were finally together again, but Murdoc hated him, and wasn’t interested in talking? What was he waiting for otherwise, if not to “go home”?

“Look, we don’t have a lot of t--”

“Where’s your fucking sperm donor?” Murdoc interrupted, in a casual, overly sweet tone.

In different circumstances, Mac would’ve laughed. Quite the change from last time. Murdoc hadn’t been shy about expressing his opinion on Mac’s dad. But to be so openly aggressive about it while being unaware Mac agreed?

“He’s not here.”

Murdoc gave a small, disinterested hum, fueling sudden, small flashes of anger. How dare Murdoc be more concerned with his dad’s absence!

“Enough.” Mac leaned forward, and clapped his hand over Murdoc’s. “I need your help.”

“No.”

He felt Murdoc’s hand tense, and quickly removed his own; he enjoyed having all his fingers. “This is about you.”

“No,” Murdoc stated more firmly, sitting up straight and tensing his shoulders.

“The Phoenix--”

“No. I’m not doing it. I’m not gonna get forced into anymore deals. No.”

“Just listen. I’m,” Mac hesitated, knowing Murdoc could destroy him with even the smallest show of vulnerability. “I’m begging you.”

“You’re begging me? Really?!” A small, sadistic smile appeared at Mac’s flinch. “That’s the thing about playing the high stakes, isn’t it? Eventually, you run out of aces, and, oh no! At the most inconvenient time too!”

The tension remained, even as Murdoc playfully mocked, “I’m begging you! That’s cute. It’s...well, you weren’t very convincing, but it was a nice try. I have nothing left to lose. You know that.”

Force him to light the match. Of course. Mac slouched down in his chair, a shudder shooting up his spine. “But Cassian does.”

“Are you serious?!”

Mac curled into himself, crossing his arms across his chest. He didn’t dare look up; he hated confrontation. Soon, Mac weakly reassured himself, Murdoc would understand he’d meant Cassian had him to lose.

Truthfully, he hadn’t expected their last meeting to leave Murdoc this angry. Maybe he deserved it. If Murdoc went off, maybe he could make Murdoc like him again.

“You all pretend to be morally superior, but that hasn’t stopped you people from using Cassian against me since the day you discovered he exists! I’m sick of it! Just leave him alone, MacGyver! Whatever revenge you want is on me! How long are you going to make him pay for what I’ve done?”

Mac squeezed his eyes shut. Still managed to hit where it hurt most, even though there was no way Murdoc could know the circumstances surrounding his dad’s death.

“Why do you want to be so much like your dad?! He abandoned you, Angus! He didn’t even want to be in your life until he was on his deathbed! What, he shows up, says he’s sorry, and now everything’s fine?? Do you really not see what he is?!”

Mac’s heart ache strengthened into stabs, Murdoc’s ranting becoming increasingly more desperate, “He gets worse every time! He won’t be able to hide his true colors forever! Or maybe he has, but you just accept that he’s a terrible person. And you’re not worried he’s going to turn on you? You need to get away from him! Now! Right now! Give him enough time, and he’ll destroy you too! Just because he’s blood doesn’t mean you owe him!”

The implication that Murdoc and his dad had multiple encounters (meaning the black site was not as locked down as he’d been told) gave rise to a possessiveness that’d become common any time Murdoc was mentioned. He hated when other people insisted they knew Murdoc best.

Murdoc belonged to him! He’d spent the most time with Murdoc, experienced every word, every action, every spark, or tingle, or whatever it was that’d passed between them. A million tiny things to analyze. An eternity he’d wasted fighting the wrong enemy. He feared using up all his chances to be in Murdoc’s life.

So discovering his dad probably altered Murdoc’s feelings before Mac could see him, maybe because of his break-in attempts, Made. Him. Want. To--

“He’s a formality! He partially created you, but sharing DNA doesn’t d--”

Mac slammed his hand onto the table. “FUCK HIM!! I’m NOT him! And before he died, I made damn sure he knew he was my father in title only, and deserved NO place in my life!”

Embarrassed by his outburst, and Murdoc’s stunned, wide-eyed stare, Mac leaned forward onto the table, folding his arms under him. “Um. So whatever...problem you two had, died with him.”

The tension dissipated immediately. If Mac had known Murdoc’s problem was with his dad (and not him!), he would’ve gladly announced his death upon entering, and saved them the roller coaster of emotions.

“And I didn’t mean to sound like I was threatening Cassian. I swear, I won’t let anything happen to him. He’ll always have Phoenix’s protection, and mine. OK? Please hear me out?”

"Angus! So excited to talk to me!"

Mac's heart fluttered at Murdoc's smile, his playful tone. Just like Murdoc always was.

“Phoenix is trading you to an eco-terrorist organization, known as Codex, for our owner, my boss, Russ T—Focus, focus—Russ Taylor. Now look, Phoenix’s agents are authorized to kill you to prevent your escape, and Codex is all too eager to get their hands on you. But, I’m going to unlock your handcuffs at the exchange because I want you to have a chance. And I could use your help. I want to make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I want to hire you to do what you do best: kill people.”

Murdoc’s eyes lit up. “Oh! I’ve only been waiting for this day my entire life! Who’s getting it? More annoying relatives you want me to take care of?”

The Merchant was in terrible shape currently, but Mac had a sneaking suspicion he’d talked while descending into mental disarray.

“The guy who’s been in the black site with you, The Merchant. What do you know about him?”

“Oooooh, I have a fancy accent! Which makes me smart! The smartest! Blah blah blah, Codex and DOOM and world domination and—Murdoc, stop pestering the local wildlife! Blah, blah, blah, Codex will come for me, and when they doooo~ you’ll all be sorry!”

“Wow. That’s...”

Potentially a good sign. If Murdoc held that much contempt toward The Merchant, maybe it extended to Codex.

“I’m not sure? If I should be disappointed I missed that? But at least you know what Codex is like, since he talks about it?”

“Used to. He doesn’t do much coherent talking anymore. You want me to kill him, Angus?” Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Gladly. For free. Best friend discount, because that rat definitely has it coming.”

“Actually, I’m more interested in Codex’s destruction. I want all their operatives dead.”

“Do you know how many people you’re talking about?!”

“You can come at them from a different angle. Starting with refusing to work with them. You mean something to their plans, so much so, they’re willing to trade Phoenix’s highest value agent, for you. Your noncompliance will break something important.”

“So? You and Phoenix apparently haven’t managed to make much progress.”

“No, but we’re working on it, and I know your help would be invaluable. You’re incredibly skilled in ways we aren’t, you know the criminal underworld, you have connections. Your reputation lets you go places we can’t. So here’s my proposal: until Codex is defeated, kill any of their agents, and I’ll let you do anything you want to me. To be cashed in as many times as you want.”

A devilish grin spread across Murdoc’s face as he practically vibrated with excitement(?). “Of course I’m in, I can’t say no when you’re indefinitely offering up your absolutely perfect self. You should be scared, by the way.”

Murdoc’s fantasies came in two flavors, and if he chose torture, then so be it. He’d rather go out by Murdoc than Codex.

“I’m just glad you said yes.”

“I’m not gonna miss the fun! It’s, like, a reverse surprise party of Death!”

“Can you not—you know what, never mind.”

[sm-entertain-me]

Would You Rather... (M)

Contains: Lee Jeno x (f) reader, adult language, mentions of alcohol, smut, sexual themes, intense foreplay, slight exhibitionism, unprotected sex (Be safe), creampie, crushes to lovers!au

Synopsis: Renjun knew you had a crush on Jeno, everyone did. Being the tease he is, he decides to suggest a little game of Would You Rather to exploit your feelings towards Jeno.

ALL OF MY WORKS ARE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT LAWS. DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPRODUCE WITHOUT CONSENT FROM AUTHOR.

COPYRIGHT SM-ENTERTAIN-ME (KELSEY), 2019

“What? Why me?” You asked after you nearly choked on your solo cup filled with a drink that Haechan made you, quickly trying to weasel out of your turn at the rather steamy game of Would You Rather. Of course, you didn’t want to play, but you especially didn’t want to play when Renjun is the one asking the questions. He knows your situation with Jeno and has teased you mercilessly about it, saying how you two would make a great couple whenever you two were sitting next to each other, earning a quick laugh from Jeno to play it off as a joke. Little did Jeno know, you had the fattest crush on him since you had known him as a trainee. But something tells you that he’ll definitely find out by the end of the night.

“Because,” Renjun said simply, a playful smirk lining his face. “Everyone else is playing fair. Are you really going to be the person that chickens out on their turn when you’ve been asking the guys to do stupid shit all night?” He must’ve been talking about when you asked Jaemin if he would rather streak down the street or drink a cup of hot sauce. Everyone got a kick out of it except for Jaemin as he’s still hovering over the toilet at this very moment, so you didn’t know why you were the one being punished for it.

“And I still hate your guts for it!” Jaemin shouted from the bathroom, followed by  a quick dry heave as he threw his head down in the toilet bowl to brace himself. You can admit that you did feel bad for making Jaemin choose between those two options, but you honestly thought he would prefer to strip instead of drink the whole cup of hot sauce. Jaemin’s body is wonderful and he knows it so that’s why you thought he would choose to streak.

Everyone’s eyes were now on you as you tried to deflect your turn, begging someone to go for you since Renjun was known for cruel asks whenever you guys played Would You Rather. So cruel to the point that he forced Mark to choose between breaking up with his girlfriend or giving a striptease for his viewers on V-Live. His girlfriend was so pretty, shame they only lasted two months all thanks to Renjun.

Sighing at your defeat, you quickly downed the rest of the alcohol that remained in your cup and winced slightly, feeling the liquid burn down your throat before locking eyes with Renjun, “Fine. Do your worst.”

“Oh, I will,” Renjun said with an evil smirk as he looked at you and then flicked his eyes all around the circle of people huddled on the living room floor. You happened to notice how Renjun’s eyes seemed to look at the subject of your infatuation a bit longer than the others, returning to look into your eyes with what was easily the most unsettling gaze you had ever seen. “Y/N,” He began, waiting patiently for your response in a rather mocking way.

Your eyes hardened immediately at his cocky demeanor as you shifted in your seat, giving him a look that would certainly send any of the boys running for the hills. But of course, Renjun was used to getting that look from you on the daily, that’s why he chose to exploit it from you. Through gritted teeth, you snarled at the person who enjoyed torturing you, “What, Renjun?” Here it comes.

“Would You Rather...” Renjun began as his voice trailed off into thin air, thinking about how to word the question in a way that one choice would definitely be chosen over the other. He was particularly sneaky like that. “Give Jisung a blowjob or makeout with Jeno for five minutes straight?”

The crowd around you got silent as they waited on the edge of their seats to hear what your answer was, the look of fear spreading across your face. Renjun knew you would never think about Jisung that way, let alone touch him that way. He knew how much of a brother Jisung was to you, and that’s why he chose him to be involved in the other choice he knew you weren’t going to pick.

“I’m not touching Jisung like that and you know it!” You hollered as you drew your hand back, launching the red solo cup that reeked of vodka at Renjun, your face twisting into shapes of pure anger.

Renjun had a shit eating grin on his face as he leaned in towards you, testing your resolve, “Then I guess you’d better get to making out with Jeno. Wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, huh?” Everyone’s attention then shifted over to Jeno who was sitting in his spot, a smug smile on his face that easily had you feeling some type of way. Jeno always had that effect on you, no matter how hard he tried. He could be eating and you would still find something attractive about him. Maybe it’s the way his jaw clenched with every bite he took, or the way his Adam’s apple would bob whenever he swallowed, or just him sighing in relief as he took a bite from being starved all day...

After about a minute of contemplation, your legs found yourself as you crawled across the floor in the most sexiest way you could muster, making sure to maintain eye contact with Jeno the whole entire time. You even went as far as to lick your lips to see what kind of reaction it would get out of Jeno. No matter how much you thought you knew Jeno, he had always been hard to read. But you can tell by the way his eyes are traveling all over your body that there wasn’t any other place he would rather be.

Everyone crowded around the two of you, Mark running to grab a timer of some sort as Jaemin trudged out of the bathroom with a bucket in hand to make sure he got a front row seat to some softcore porn that was about to go down. Meanwhile, you were sitting in Jeno’s lap, squirming around to try and get comfortable on the massive peaks of his thighs while he just sat there, laughing at how hard you were trying.

“Here, let me,” Jeno said huskily as he gripped at your hips and pulled you closer to him, his crotch mere centimeters away from your steadily heating core. A small gulp came from you as you stared into his eyes, shocked that he would be so okay with you straddling him in front of his best friends. Jeno simply smirked at you, raising his eyebrows as he leaned in to graze your ear, taking the flesh of your lobe between his teeth as he growled, “Wanna help them with the subject of their next wet dream?”

You didn’t even have time to answer Jeno, partially because you were completely beside yourself at the moment, and because Renjun shouted at the top of his lungs to start the timer. Once Jeno heard Renjun give permission to start, Jeno’s hands slipped up your back to the nape of your neck, pushing you forward to have your lips meet. Jeno’s lips tasted faintly of the alcohol he had been drinking but felt like heaven on earth as you immediately sank into him.

As Jeno’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist, he managed to slide his hands underneath your legs to cup at your ass, giving you a hard enough squeeze to force your lips open and slip his tongue into you. A shocked gasp came from you as Jeno’s tongue explored every inch of you, relishing in your taste as you could feel something poking at your core.

When you two decided to take a break for air, you couldn’t help but to look down and confirm your suspicions. Sure enough, Jeno was becoming hard in his pants the longer you two made out. You could hear Jeno let out a chuckle as his fingers found the bottom of your chin to pick it up and make eye contact with him, “Focus baby, we still have two more minutes. You can worry about that later.” Your thighs shuddered at that thought.

You two quickly resumed your activities, teeth gnashing on each other’s lips to see who could make the other’s lips the reddest, tongues sliding in between you two to gather massive amounts of saliva to be shared between you. Everyone around you was shifting in their seats, Mark and Haechan especially. They were working hard at pulling the fabric away from their crotches to give them much needed space as they continued to watch you two intensely. This fueled Jeno’s ego as he quickly grabbed onto your ass and leaned forward, planting your back flush against the carpet below.

“Jeno,” You moaned out in shock, looking up at his flustered face with widened eyes. Jeno didn’t respond with words, but instead responded by pressing his lips onto the left side of your neck, sucking and nibbling on the tender skin to mark you up with the most beautiful shades of reds and purples. You could feel your breath hitch in your throat as Jeno worked the tender skin in between his lips, running his tongue along the side of your neck until he found a new place to mark as his.

“Time’s up!” Renjun shouted loudly at the two of you, wanting the both of you to stop what you were doing so they could continue to play their game with the other female players in the room. But there was really no point in trying to pull you and Jeno apart. You two craved each other, needed each other. Jeno was like oxygen to you, and you his sun. Neither one of you wanted to break the intense kiss you two shared in fears of never being able to recreate the raw passion you two felt for each other. But of course, all good things must come to an end...

Or so you thought. When you two were finally pulled apart by Renjun and Jaemin, Jeno helped you to your feet with the same hunger in his eyes as he leaned in to whisper, “If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to take you to my room.” Although you tried not to seem too desperate in your response, the rate at which you nodded your head made you look pretty damn needy. No matter, you were about to indulge in one of your most prominent fantasies: fucking Jeno.

Jeno practically dragged you to his room, not giving any of the guys an explanation as he led you down the hallway and shoved you into his room. Once the door closed, Jeno was on you. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, making sure to let his hands wander the swell of your ass and give a light smack. The same amount of passion you two shared in front of everyone else was found again as Jeno let you fall on the bed, climbing on top of you and pouring his very soul into the kiss you shared.

While Jeno took care of your neck and lips, you ran your hands down the front of his abs, moaning out at the feeling of his rock hard abdomen pressing against your hands. Jeno chuckled against your lips as he reached between you two, grabbing onto your hand and leading it further down until your fingers hooked onto the belt line of his jeans, tugging lightly at the fabric. The rough denim felt so nicely against your finger tips, but you figured something else would feel even better as you frantically grabbed at the fabric until it came loose and was pushed down Jeno’s legs.

It didn’t take long for every single piece of clothing to be removed, thrown all over random places of his room as Jeno settled in between your thighs, enamored with the amount of wetness spilling out of you.

“Holy fuck, Y/N. You’re so wet for me... How long have you been wanting to fuck me?” Jeno asked genuinely as he took a break from rubbing himself to his full length, looking you deep in the eyes. The way he looked down at you made you forget about all the events that led up to this moment, made you feel so vulnerable.

You leaned up slightly to capture his lips with yours, sighing into the kiss as you pulled away and returned his gaze, “Let’s just say it’s been a long time.” A smile painted itself on Jeno’s face as he admired the angelic features of your face, but then the look of his eyes quickly turned to desperation as he forced his cock between your walls, throwing his head back from the delicious squeeze.

“F-Fuck,” Jeno moaned out as his fingernails dug into the skin of your hips, creating tiny crescents as he refused to move his hips just yet, wanting to feel every single clench of your walls before he completely wrecked you. When he finally got himself together, Jeno zeroed in on the sight of your pussy swallowing up his cock. The sight caused him to twitch deep inside of you as he pushed all the way into you, his hips pushing harshly against yours as you moaned out in pleasure.

You were a moaning mess as Jeno thrust deep inside of you, pulling himself out just to ram back in without so much as a word of warning, watching how you fell apart at his touch. Your hands reached up and wrapped around Jeno’s broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin the harder he fucked into you, leaving burning red marks in their wake. Jeno was hitting all the right spots for you as you screamed out to let him know just how good he was making you feel. You were wondering how long he could go.

“Oh god Jeno, right there! Don’t stop, don’t stop!” You begged mercilessly as you arched your back off of the mattress, pressing your naked torso flush against Jeno’s as you could feel your high progressing at a faster rate. Even though your eyes were closed from the feeling of euphoria pumping through your body, you could imagine the luring look on Jeno’s face, the thin layer of sweat coating both of your bodies, and his lip nested in between his perfect white teeth.

“Cum for me, Y/N. I need you to cum for me,” Jeno rasped in your ear as he leaned down and bit on your collar bone, trying to get himself to focus on not cumming before you but you were making it so damn hard with how your walls encased his cock deep inside. As a last ditch effort to get you to cum, Jeno sped up his thrusts and paired them with his fingers latching onto your clit to rub you to your high, watching how your eyes shot open from the intense pleasure that ripped through your body.

Nonsensical sounds that resembled Jeno’s name fell from your lips as you dug your nails deep into the honeyed skin of his back, tears pricking your eyes from how good he made you feel. As your walls clamped down around his cock, you could feel his cock give one last twitch before his cum flowed out and filled you up completely, a small volume of it escaping you and dripping down your slit to the sheets below you.

Still recovering from your mindblowing orgasm at the hands, and cock, of Jeno, you lay limp underneath him as Jeno fought to keep himself propped up on his arms to reach and grab some tissues. You couldn’t help but to look up at him with a blissful smile on your face, to which Jeno caught a glimpse of.

“What are you looking at babe?” Jeno asked with a playful tone while simultaneously sliding himself out of you, quickly pushing the tissue against your sore folds to catch as much of his cum as he could before it made an even bigger puddle under you.

You simply shook your head, still wearing the stupid smile as you responded, “Just... Remind me to thank Renjun.”

Before Jeno could give you one of his signature chuckles or smiles, you heard a voice shout from right outside the door, “You’re welcome!”

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 80, Part 1

AHAHAHAHAH ITS HERE ITS QUEER ITS TIME TO FEAAAAAAAR. RIFTS HYPE TRAIN HAS ARRIVED AND LEFT THE STATION EITHER YOU ON OR YOU AINT NOW LETS GO IDK WHAT THE HELL IM TALKING ABOUT LETS JUST GOOOOOOO

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/619687513045483520/universe-falls-chapter-79

***

Chapter 80, Part 1: Rifts

LOMC GRFSX KB SEAJS XZJNHBVE NZ EHBXPU FVUK GHP UVAX LQM BIN VT OGLAR'E PJHNVE TSWF ESY EDH GFFTWQ SWWE 

Steven wasn’t sure when he’d voyaged out into the forest. The last thing he remembered, he’d been tucking himself in for the night, Lion taking up more than half the bed as he curled up right beside him. Upon bidding one final good night to the Gems as they went back into the temple, Steven had thought he had let himself drift off into a good night’s sleep, awash in the dulled, peaceful, calming chorus of crickets chirping and gentle breezes wafting through the trees just outside his window. 

And yet, he wasn’t. Because instead, he now found himself deep in the forest, so deep, in fact, that he couldn’t see any of the usual landmarks that told he was near the temple or the shack. To make matters even worse, it was still night, a pitch black one at that, with no stars or moon peeking through the dense tree canopy above him to guide his way home. Steven paused for a moment, taking in just how eerily silent the woods seemed to be as well, the air dead and surprisingly brisk, a far cry from the comfortable warmth he knew a summer night like this should have carried. The dense darkness and the deafening silence were both enough to unnerve the young Gem on their own, but it was only as that silence was broken by the briefest bout of soft sound somewhere in the distance that his heartbeat slowly started to pick up. 

“Uh… h-hello?” Steven called, his own voice echoing against the tall trees all around him. “Is… is anybody there…?”

He received no answer, at least not a direct one. Somewhere far away in the forest, that unknown noise rang out again, one that almost seemed to be some kind of laughter. Steven couldn’t quite make out who or what it was coming from, but he decided to follow it nonetheless in the hopes of figuring out what exactly was going on. So he forged a path through the trees, feeling his way through them more than anything else given how immensely dark the forest was. And yet, that darkness was soon brightened just a bit by a sparse spot of light peeking through the woods up ahead, one that just so happened to be in the same direction the faint laughter he kept hearing, which was growing louder, and clearer, the closer he wandered to it. 

Yet, the moment that laugh finally became clear enough for him to tell exactly who it belonged to, Steven suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes were wide as he took in a sharp, startled gasp, and without even taking a second to think, he darted behind the nearest tree, hoping that the dream demon didn’t already know he was there. 

However, at least as far as he knew, it seemed as though he had been found out without even realizing it. “Come on out, kid!” Bill called, his triangular form large, bright, and looming as he passed by the tree Steven was taking refuge behind. “You can’t hide from me forever!”

Steven shuddered as he pressed tighter against the side of the tree, not needing to even think twice about why Bill was apparently on the hunt for him. He placed a protective hand against his gemstone, which was still tucked away under his shirt--out of sight, but still there, still ready for the dream demon’s taking nonetheless. It was an unspoken fear, but a very potent one, cemented at the back of his mind, ever since his frightful dream encounter with Bill weeks ago. And it seemed as though the dream demon still refused to let up as he’d finally come back to collect. 

“You know, running is just a waste of time, something you fleshbags are already running pretty short on by default!” Bill quipped, his shrill voice echoing throughout the forest how as it carried it’s usually teasing tune. “But yours will be even shorter when I’m through with you! If you want, you can go ahead and feel free to thank me for going to all the trouble to finally put you out of your misery!”

Steven didn’t dare respond to this cruel round of threats as he instead focused on remaining as quiet as possible, desperately hoping that Bill would eventually get tired of looking for him and leave. Even so, he was ready to summon his shield, his bubble, and anything else he had at his disposal in the event the demon did manage to spot him, even if he wasn’t sure any of them would actually be able to fend him off. Still, nothing could have prepared the young Gem for the violent explosion that rattled the entire area, nearly knocking him off his feet entirely. 

“Aha! Found ya!” Bill chimed in the immediate aftermath of his destructive attack. Steven gasped, a protective bubble surrounding him in an instant, yet surprisingly, the dream demon didn’t come into view as he still seemed to be somewhere else in the forest entirely. “Yeesh, I gotta hand it to you, you sure are resilient! After several back to back nights of this, I thought our ongoing game of cat-and-mouse here would have you way past your breaking point by now, Pine Tree!”

“P-Pine Tree…?” Steven whispered with a start, initially baffled until the realization struck him like a wave of frigid water. He had been wrong from the very start. Bill wasn’t here looking for him at all; instead, he was looking for‒ “Dipper!” 

His voice rang much louder than he had meant it to but Steven hardly cared. Without hesitation, he left the safety of his hiding spot behind, plowing through the forest as fast as his legs could carry him as he took up the very same search Bill was on, though for an entirely different reason instead. Every now and then, he happened to catch a glimpse of the dream demon himself through the sparse gaps in the trees, but thankfully Bill still hadn’t taken any interest in him whatsoever. Instead, his attention seemed to be solely devoted to finding Dipper, just as Steven’s now was as well. 

Another explosion tore through the forest, one that did succeed in tripping Steven up as several trees toppled haphazardly around him. He narrowly avoided being crushed by one of them thanks to a well-timed shield cover, though as he glanced up amidst the debris, he finally caught his first glimpse of who both him and Bill had been searching for. 

Dipper had been completely displaced by the dream demon’s most recent blast, his own hiding spot completely torn apart, leaving him lying disoriented on the ground, completely out in the open. He quickly regathered his bearings, however, especially as Bill came to hover high before him, bright blue flames licking over both his outstretched hands. 

“Give it up already, Pine Tree!” the demon goaded twistedly, clearly taking pleasure in the torment he was doling out. “We both know that no matter where you run or how hard you try to block me out or fight back, you’ll never be able to really escape me. Put up as many magical barriers, swing around as many swords as you want, none of that matters at the end of the day! All that really matters is that I’m finally gonna give our puppet show the grand finale it’s always deserved!”

Without any sort of sword to defend himself with, the most Dipper could do was seize up in fear, his eyes wide in terror and his entire body visibly shaking with untold fear. Amidst that fear, he was paralyzed, completely incapable of so much as even uttering a single word of opposition or plea for mercy to the demon as he raised his flaming hands to destroy him. Unable to run, unable to hide, unable to fight back, unable to do anything else but helplessly await whatever devastating end Bill had in store for him. 

Until… 

“Dipper!” 

The sudden shout alone was enough to catch Dipper off guard as he tore his terrified gaze away from Bill to see who was rushing to his aid, completely out of nowhere. “S-Steven?!” 

There was no time for Steven to say anything even if he wanted to. Instead, he slid into the open space between Bill and Dipper, summoning a massive shield to protect them both from the demon’s fiery onslaught. Yet even that wasn’t enough to stop it, for as Bill unleashed the full force of his deadly attack, it obliterated the shield on impact‒

Before doing the same to Steven and Dipper themselves. 

Steven bolted upright with a tight, alarmed cry, his blankets tossed aside as Lion abruptly flinched awake alongside him. For a moment, the young Gem was unable to focus on nothing else other than his own sharp, panicked breathing, which steadily began to slow down as he took in the familiar sight of his bedroom loft around him. 

“T-that was just… a dream…?” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. With a tired sigh, Steven flopped back down onto his bed, lying still for a moment as he let Lion casually lick the thin layer of sweat off his forehead. Even so, his brow furrowed in confusion as he stared up at the dark ceiling above him, his thoughts swirling in his head as he tried to make sense of what he’d just seen. “Wait…” he mused aloud, partially to Lion, though mostly to himself. “That… didn’t feel like it was my dream… I… I think it might have been… Dipper’s!”

The young Gem gasped, suddenly sitting up once more, much to his pink pet’s aggravation. “That’s right! Mabel did say he was having nightmares about Bill again… But… I… I didn’t think they were…” Steven trailed off, absently covering his hand with his mouth as worry welled up in his eyes. The dream he’d just unintentionally slipped into had been one fueled by raw, pure, visceral fear, fear that Steven had been able to feel just as powerfully as Dipper likely had, fear he had probably been feeling for several nights in a row now. 

“I-I have to do something…” Steven whispered to himself as he lay back down. All the while knowing that nobody, especially not one of his closest friends, should have to contend with such horrific torment night after night. And certainly not from the very dream demon who had already put him through so much strife in the waking world to begin with. “I have to help him…”

“Have a great time on your vacation, Connie!” Mabel chimed as her, Dipper, and Steven video-chattered with her from their spot on the shack’s porch. “Bring back lots of souvenirs and cute, weird Japanese snacks!”

“Yeah, and don’t forget to call us every day to tell us about all the cool stuff you’re seeing,” Steven added with a smile. 

“Well, I would do that, but there’s… a pretty significant time difference over in Tokyo,” Connie chuckled. “I don’t wanna wake you guys up in the middle of the night while I’m just starting my day.”

“Yeah, as much as we’d love to hear from you, please don’t do that,” Dipper replied with an amused grin. 

“I’ll make sure to fill you all in on everything once I get home,” Connie assured. “I just hope this trip won’t be too boring. My mom’s dead set on making it about ‘cultural enrichment’ and historical education. But all I really want to do is find a cute little bookshop/bubble tea cat cafe and spend a whole day reading as many manga as I can get my hands on.”

“Oo, the bubble tea cat part sounds like my idea of a good time!” Mabel quipped excitedly. “By the way, what’s a manga?”

Connie was about to explain, though she was cut off as the airport speaker rang out with a boarding announcement. “Oh! That’s our flight!” she exclaimed, grabbing her carry-on bag as she headed to the gate. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you guys when I get back next week. Try not to get into too much trouble without me, ok?”

“It’s sort of hard to promise something like that around here…” Dipper noted knowingly. 

“But we’ll try,” Steven said, offering her a warm wave. Connie returned that wave with another round of brief, fond farewells for her friends just before she hung up to embark on her Japanese journey. 

“Aw man, Connie’s so lucky!” Mabel let out a wistful sigh as soon as the call was over. “I wish we could go somewhere new and exciting too!”

“Uh, Mabel? Did you forget that Gravity Falls technically is new to you and I?” Dipper inquired with a bit of a wry smirk. “I know it might feel like home sometimes, but we don’t actually live here, you know.”

“Yeah, and something exciting is always happening around here almost every day!” Steven added enthusiastically. “It might not always be a good kind of exciting, but it’s still exciting all the same.”

“Oh, you guys know what I mean!” Mabel huffed. “We should go somewhere that’s super way out there, somewhere nobody’s ever been before! Or at least somewhere no one’s been to before and came back to talk about.”

“Sounds ‘dangerous’,” Dipper chuckled easily. “Have any place like that in mind?”

“Of course I do!” Mabel proclaimed, though her confidence was quick to fall off. “Uh… we can go to… hm…”

Before she could think on the matter any further, however, a gruff, irritated shout rang out from inside the shack. “Mabel! Get in here!” Stan called, clearly annoyed. “Someone--who may or may not be me--left the fridge open and your dumb pig got into the bacon!”

“Waddles, no!” Mabel gasped, horrified as she hopped up to hurry inside. “That’s cannibalism! Think of your adorable pig brethren!”

“Yeesh, you think she would have trained Waddles better with all the time she spends with him,” Dipper remarked, still wearing a light, almost deceptively calm‒at least as far as Steven was concerned‒grin. 

“Heh, yeah…” Steven’s own steady smile finally fell. Even so, he was glad to have a moment or two alone with Dipper, knowing that this would be a much easier discussion to have between just the two of them. “Uh… hey, Dipper? Did… did you sleep ok last night?”

Dipper paused, clearly caught off guard by the question. “Uh… yeah?” he lied, still holding onto a smile, albeit a smaller, more uncertain one now. “Why do you ask?”

“W-well, I just…” Steven hesitated, not really knowing how to proceed, though he still tried to do so as gently as possible all the same. “I heard you were having nightmares about, uh… well, Bill, a-and I was just wondering if you were ok…”

“Ugh, seriously?” Dipper groaned, rolling his eyes. “Does Mabel have to tell everyone about the kind of dreams she thinks I’m having? A-anyway, I… might have had a few Bill-related dreams lately, b-but they’re nothing serious. Definitely not anything worth worrying about, so yeah. I’m fine.”

“...That’s not what I saw last night…” Steven muttered apprehensively as he glanced away. 

“Last night?” Dipper turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “What happened last…” He trailed off, his eyes widening in realization as he happened to recall the finer details of a nightmare he’d just as rather have forgotten entirely. “Wait… t-that nightmare last night… Steven, was… was that really you that showed up in it?”

The young Gem nodded, not really taking stock of the hints of appalled disbelief starting to show up in Dipper’s expression. “I guess I must have used my powers to get into your dreams somehow, b-but that’s ok, because-”

“O-ok?” Dipper interrupted rather harshly. “What makes you think just… breaking into my dreams without my permission is anywhere close to ok? Do you even realize just how much of an invasion of privacy that is?!”

“Oh, w-well, I’m sorry,” Steven frowned, genuinely apologetic. “It wasn’t like I was trying to do it. It just sort of, well, happened. I-I still don’t really know how these new dream powers work, but don’t worry! I’ll figure them out, and once I do, then maybe I can use them to help you fight Bill out of your dreams once and for all!”

Despite this spirited, kindly offer, Dipper flinched, his already agitated expression growing even more intense at this. “No,” he said simply, standing up before walking off toward the nearby woods. 

“What?” Steven also stood, completely baffled as he began trailing after Dipper. “But… why not? Don’t you want Bill to stop showing up in your dreams every night?”

“O-of course I do, Steven, but… it’s not that big of a deal!” Dipper glanced over his shoulder, perturbed. “I don’t need you to use your dream powers, or any of your other powers for that matter, to get rid of him; I can do it on my own.”

A part of the young Gem knew he should have just left it there, taken Dipper’s word for it and moved on. But another, much louder, much more persistent part of him refused to let a friend’s obvious need for assistance and support go unanswered. “B-but… I want to help you!” he implored, grabbing his hand to stop him as he reached the outer edge of the woods. 

Even so, Dipper was quick to pull that hand away. “I don’t want--I don’t need your help,” he said, feigning calm despite the hints of clear frustration lying underneath it. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not!” Steven protested, following after him as he began to make his way through the woods once more. “You always say that you’re fine, but I don't think you really are, Dipper! I was there in your dream last night, I could see what was happening. I could feel just how scared you were! I’m scared of Bill too after everything he’s done, b-but I know that we’re strong enough to stand up to him as long as we stick together!”

“You don’t know that!” Dipper countered as he ventured into the forest with no real set destination in mind. Because really, all he was trying to do was get away from a conversation that, by all accounts, Steven was refusing to let him escape so easily. “Nobody knows that! The only thing we do know is what Bill’s capable of, and it’s not something you can just stand up to and expect to survive against!”

“But we have before!” Steven argued firmly. “And we can again. We’ve always found a way to stop Bill by working together; so what makes stopping him in your dreams any different?”

“You still don’t get it, do you?!” Dipper shot back, sending another bitter glare over his shoulder. “My problem isn’t with Bill right now, Steven. My problem is with you!”

Steven froze, faltering almost as if those words had physically struck him. Which really, they might as well have from how much they hurt on mere contact alone. “W-what… what do you mean?” he dared to ask, almost afraid of the answer. 

“Well, gee, why don’t we start with how you just burst into my dreams completely uninvited,” Dipper began crossly, still pressing on ahead into the woods. “And then you act like that’s not even a big deal, when it is! I already have enough problems with Bill running around and ruining my dreams each night; the last thing I want is someone else doing it too.”

“B-but this would be different! It wouldn’t be anything like what Bill’s been doing. Like I said, I’d be going into your dreams to help you, if you would just let me!”

“Well, I’m not going to. Why can’t you just accept that already and drop it?”

Steven bristled at this, his own frustration quickly rising, despite his best efforts to remain patient, even if that patience was steadily starting to wear thin. “Why can’t you just accept that you need help?! Why do you always think you have to do everything on your own? You have so many people who are there for you: Mabel, your uncles, the Gems, me! Why don’t you ever just let us help you?!”

“Why won’t you just take no for an answer!?” Dipper retorted bitterly. “You always, always do this. You always act like you know what’s best for everyone, but you don’t, especially not for me!”

“I never said that! I just want to-”

“Want to what?” Dipper interrupted, pausing as he turned to face the young Gem, his expression completely livid. “Fix me like you try to fix everything else?! Face it, Steven, there are some things you just can’t fix!”

For the briefest of moments, Steven hesitated, pain taking a place in his expression alongside anger. Because now, despite his best efforts to set things right, it seemed as though he inadvertently had torn open an all-new rift, one between him and Dipper and their close friendship. A rift he wasn’t sure he’d be so able to easily heal with words alone. “W-well, that doesn’t mean I can’t try,” he persisted stubbornly, foolishly even. That small part of him practically begged him to stop, to call it quits before that rift tore itself open even wider. But for some inane reason, he kept this argument going, knowing the solution Dipper kept refusing was one they both truly needed to fix that rift, and so much more along with it. 

“You should stop trying,” Dipper refuted, his tone icy as he turned away again. “Because every time you try, things always seem to get worse.”

“T-that’s not true. You aren’t-”

“Oh, it isn’t? Then why don’t we talk about Grunkle Stan and how you just up and stole his body like it was nothing!” Dipper accused, finally bringing to light a point of contention he’d somehow managed to remain silent on for weeks now. But now, there was no hiding the dread and discomfort that series of events had initially brought him, not anymore. 

“I-I didn’t steal it!” Steven exclaimed defensively. “It was an accident, I-”

“Yeah, sure another accident,” Dipper scoffed. “You know, Steven, you sure do happen to have a whole lot of powers you don’t know how to control and just keep accidentally using. But even if it was an accident, you still stayed in his body all day anyway just so you and Mabel could go through with another one of your big “get along plans”, which didn’t even work! The whole thing was pointless, just one big waste of time, but who even knows where Stan was during the whole thing! For all we know, he could have been stuck in the mindscape, just like I was when Bill possessed me!”

“D-Dipper…” Steven choked, his eyes wide with realization. He had known from the start that what had happened that day had bothered him, though he had never been able to figure out exactly why, not until now at least. Really, the answer was so clear, so obvious that he should have seen it from the start, he should have known, he should have at least thought twice about going through with that plan, if just for Dipper’s sake alone. But he hadn’t. And in doing so, the young Gem realized, he had already started tearing that rift between them, even weeks before now. “I… I didn’t-”

“You didn’t think,” Dipper scowled, his hands curled up into tight fists at his sides. “You never do! The only things you do actually think about are your plans to try to ‘fix’ people so they’ll be good and nice and perfect like you! So what happens when you decide I’m not good enough and you want to fix me like you tried to fix Stan and Ford? Are you gonna try and take over my body too?!”

“Of course not!” Steven firmly asserted, knowing just how much that would have hurt Dipper after everything Bill had already done. “You know I wouldn’t! Not unless-”

“Not unless you found a good reason to, right?” Dipper countered rigidly. “Well, it wouldn’t be very hard for you to find one, Steven. Seeing as how you just love to use your powers to get people to do what you want. Just like-”

Dipper suddenly cut himself off, his shoulders hitching as he finally stopped in the middle of an open clearing. By now, both boys were pretty far out in the forest, but that was just about the last thing on either of their minds. Steven slowly reached a hand out to skim Dipper’s shoulder, desperately trying to fight back the hot tears that were already welling up in his eyes. “L-like… who?” he asked, his voice soft and shaking all the while. 

Dipper sighed, not really wanting to voice what he was about to say aloud at all. And yet, as angry, as outraged as he was by the young Gem’s sheer audacity and stubbornness, he found that he couldn’t hold it back, no matter how hard he tried. “Like Bill, Steven!” he shouted, slapping his hand away as he spun around to face him. “You’re just like Bill!”

At that exact moment, time seemed to grind to a complete halt for Steven. His pressing tears finally fell through a heavy, choked-up sob, his hand slowly falling to his side as he took an absent step backward. He hardly even looked at Dipper, or anything else at all, as his thoughts reeled wildly out of control from this simple, yet brutal accusation alone, one that came from one of his best and closest friends, of all people. “N-no…” he stammered softly, shaking his head as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. “I… I’m...” he trailed off, unable to even finish the claim that he wasn’t. Because the simple thought that it was somehow true, that he was just as much of a manipulative monster as Bill Cipher was so horrifying, so chilling, and so incredibly fitting that Steven quickly found himself crumbling under the immense, devastating weight of it all. “H-how… how could you-”

“What? You really think it’s that hard of a comparison to make?” Dipper asked harshly, refusing to let Steven’s tears sway him this time. “Think about it; you’ve both got weird dream powers, you can both possess people, heck, you can even float like he can!”

As soon as Steven heard this, his tears stalled completely, his grief turning to something much sharper over the paper-thin similarities Dipper had pointed out. “That--no,” he said shortly, succinctly as the first hints of frustration began to fill in his expression. “That’s not fair, Dipper! Those are just my powers, they aren’t who I am! I would never do any of the things Bill’s done, I would never hurt you like he has! You can trust me, you know you can!”

Dipper hesitated at this earnest appeal, wanting so much to believe it. And yet, just when he was on the verge of accepting it, an all-too-familiar mantra rang through his head, just as clear as it always did: “Trust no one.” 

No one… not even his very best friend. 

“Sorry,” he said quietly, coldly as he turned his back on Steven once more. “But I can’t.”

Steven was unable to hold back another sob at this, one that heaved heavily out of him as he watched Dipper swiftly, silently walk away from him. As he watched the growing rift between them finally tear them apart entirely. “Dipper, w-wait,” Steven reached out in an effort to stop him, desperate to find a way to fix what had just been broken. “I-”

Before he could even get another word out, their entire argument was abruptly brought to a grinding halt as a bright flash of noisy light rippled across the surrounding forest. Both boys were completely caught off guard by it as they shielded themselves against its blinding might, though as it faded away just as quickly as it had appeared. Only to leave something very unsettling behind in its place. 

As Steven and Dipper opened their eyes once more, they both immediately saw it: a small, yet vibrantly glowing orb of multicolored light, hovering above the ground as its shape shifted, ebbing and flowing almost constantly before them. “W-what is that…?” Steven asked, his eyes wide as he stared at the orb, captivated by it. 

“I… don’t know…” Dipper shook his head, eyeing it distrustfully. “It almost looks like… that rift Great Uncle Ford told us about…”

Steven gasped, alarmed as he noticed the striking similarity this orb had to the rift too. A similarity that unnerved him deeply when he remembered exactly who was hoping to get his hands on the original. “What are you doing?” Dipper asked him as he took his first few steps toward it. 

“I’m gonna bubble it,” Steven glanced back over his shoulder as he continued approaching the light. 

“What? No, Steven, don’t touch it!” Dipper warned incredulously. “We have no idea what that thing even is!”

“Well, Mr. Ford and the Gems might. Once I bubble it, we can take it back to them and see what they think.”

“No, we should just leave it alone and get out of here.”

“But it’s ok,” Steven assured as he reached out toward the orb to secure it in a bubble. “I’ve got this.”

Dipper let out a disgruntled scoff as he essentially received yet another reminder of just how often Steven refused to simply listen. “No, you don-”

At that very moment, just as the young Gem’s hands began to surround the orb, it exploded in yet another burst of incredible light. The force of it alone was enough to knock Steven back, sending him crashing into Dipper before they both hit the ground hard. They had no time to recover, however, as they looked back to where the light had been… only to find what could only be described as a portal instead. 

Said portal was sizable, filled in with a strange sort of spacelike expanse that seemed to be changing colors continually. Under different circumstances, it might have been mesmerizing; if it hadn’t gained an immense, almost suction-like gale-force wind to go along with its radiance. Its magnetic force immediately began to pull the nearest thing toward it, which just so happened to be Steven. The young Gem let out a startled cry as he was pulled off its feet, the rushing gale dragging him toward the portal completely against his will. His attempts at grounding himself all failed as he steadily neared the unknown void ahead, and he was only briefly slowed as Dipper latched onto his arm, his feet planted firmly on the ground as he tried to hold him back. Their former fight was all but forgotten in such a frantic, fearful moment, even as they tried to cling onto each other for dear life. An effort that ended up being all for naught as Dipper ended up ultimately losing his footing against the strength of the portal’s pull, just as Steven had before him. 

And from there, it only took a matter of seconds before both boys, completely unable to save themselves and bereft of anyone else who could, were fully forced into the portal just before it closed itself up and disappeared completely. A portal that led to a place that couldn’t be described as anything other than an absolute nightmare. 

The sheer force of passing through the portal had been enough to knock both Steven and Dipper out, though they both happened to begin to reemerge into consciousness at roughly the same time. Things were quite bleary as they awakened, though the first thing either of them noticed was that they almost seemed to be floating adrift in the air. Or rather, as they discovered upon fully opening their eyes, adrift in what appeared to be space itself. 

Dipper took in a sharp, startled gasp as soon as he spotted the endless expanse of stars below, above, and all around him and Steven, an expanse they somehow hung amid without any gravity weighing on either of them to speak of. Likewise, Steven also aptly panicked, quickly glancing around their apparently empty surroundings, which kept on swirling with senseless colors and unknown sound and silence all at the same time. “W-what… where are we?!” Dipper asked, shuddering as his own voice echoed across the dense void all around them. 

“I-I don’t know…” Steven shook his head, turning his attention to Dipper. “Are you ok?”

“...Yeah,” Dipper answered, glaring away from the young Gem to show he was still quite upset with him. “I’d be better if you hadn’t messed with that thing in the woods. Who knows where we are now…”

“W-well, look on the bright side,” Steven ventured a small, hopeful smile. “At least we can both breathe! I-I guess that rules out outer space, huh?”

“Wow, we can breathe,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “The absolute bare-minimum for surviving. What a great upside you found to us being totally trapped in some sort of completely empty void!”

“Well, at least I‒look out!” Steven exclaimed, rushing in closer to Dipper to surround them both in a timely bubble. Mere seconds later a bizarre, horrifying creature, composed of a large, wide, single eyeball held aloft with its wide set of bat wings, crashed squarely into the bubble, followed by several more of the same flock. The monsters clamored against the sturdy surface, trying to break through it to attack the frightened boys inside, though upon finding that it wouldn’t give, they soon moved on to look for some other sort of prey instead. Steven didn’t get a chance to drop his bubble however, for right after the eye-bats had left, something else struck it instead. This time, it was an asteroid, one that shattered upon brutally hitting the bubble, sending it reeling wildly through the starry, unstable expanse. Both boys were knocked into each other several times over as their bubble speed through the void, though they still saw no relief as gravity, or the lack thereof, turned its head on both of them completely. They had apparently got caught up in some sort of strange, unseen current, one that forcefully flipped them upside down, pressing them both against the top of the bubble. Steven tried his best to right them once more, though gravity soon switched its course against them once more, abruptly shoving them to the side several times over. The unpredictable current tossed the bubble about violently, and all the while, Steven and Dipper were helpless to stop it, only staying together amidst it all thanks to the bubble they were both encased in. 

Eventually, finally, the bubble floated to a gradual stop, still completely lost amidst the vast tide of multicolored space surrounding it. Needless to say that Steven and Dipper were equally shaken by such a harrowing experience, to the point that the young Gem hesitated in bringing his protective bubble down just in case anything else beset them out of nowhere. “W-well…” Steven said breathlessly, nervously as he lingered close to Dipper. “Whatever this place is, I guess it’s not as empty as it looks…”

“You have no idea how right you are, kid!”

At the mere sound of this unmistakable voice alone, a spark of fear, so sharp and so intense it might as well have been lighting, struck Dipper and Steven alike. That fear only grew as a harsh, golden light fell upon them, one that only offered all the more telling evidence about exactly who had happened upon them. 

“B-Bill!” Steven gasped, a shield already formed over his arm as he spun around to face the demon. 

Sure enough, Bill hovered large and dominating above them, his single eye practically gleaming with twisted delight as he offered the young Gem a wave of greeting. “That’s the name, don’t wear it out! Lookie what the interdimensional tear in the fabric of reality dragged in! It’s Rosebud and Pine Tree! My two favorite Mystery Twerps, paying me a visit on my own turf! To what do I owe the pleasure of having you boys in my neck of the woods for a change instead of the other way around?”

“W-wait… y-your… what?” Steven asked, his voice trembling even amidst his confusion. 

Bill hardly offered him any answer however as he’d instead set his sights on Dipper, who hadn’t even tried to so much as even glance back at the dream demon. Instead, he’d kept his back turned, his arms wrapped tightly around himself as he tried to block out his presence altogether. “I-it’s just a dream, he’s not actually here,” Dipper whispered to himself, his eyes tightly shut to block out the terrified tears starting to well up in them over his usual nighttime tormentor. “It’s a-another nightmare, it always is, he’s not real, he’s not real, he’s NOT-”

“Oh, yeah, sorry to break it ya, but I’m as real as it gets!” In an instant, Bill had scaled himself down, teleporting to appear directly in front of Dipper. On a knee-jerk reaction alone, he let out a tight, frightened cry, flinching back through the open air only for Steven to catch him with a protective, secure grip on his arm. “You know, Pine Tree, ignoring people is rude, especially when you’re the one barged into someone else’s dimension completely unannounced!” 

“L-Leave him alone!” Steven protested, still holding onto Dipper, who by now, had more or less completely shut down. He choked out a small, scared sob, but he said nothing, his hand flinching over his shoulder to grab a sword he didn’t even have on him. No sword, no means of defense, nothing he could do to stop Bill from turning his constant nightmares into a horrible reality. 

“Aw, c’mon, Rosebud, don’t be such a prude,” Bill scoffed, floating a quick circle around the boys. “Besides, seeing as how we’re in my own digs here, I think I’m entitled to do whatever I want. And that includes having a little fun with poor Pine Tree there!”

At this, Steven fully threw himself between Bill and Dipper, upholding his shield as he prepared to fend off any surprise attacks the demon might throw their way. “Wait,” he began, trying to make sense of everything. “So… this place is… your home?”

“You got it, kid! Well, at least it’s home for right now,” Bill quipped, flying high above both of them as he resumed his earlier massive size to take a seat on the levitating gilded throne he’d just conjured up. Behind him, a horde of shadowy, monstrous silhouettes appeared out of nowhere, their crimson eyes all peering curiously down on the terrified pair of humans below them. “Welcome to the Nightmare Realm, boys! Hope you enjoy your stay! Don’t worry, the locals are as friendly as they come! Aren’t we, fellas?”

The crowd of obscured demons surrounding Bill chimed in at this, letting out a rowdy chorus of demented, mallicious laughter that was every bit as sadistic as the dream demon’s own. Yet despite their twisted levity, Bill was quick to put an end to it with a mere dismissive wave of his hand. “Yeah, yeah, as much as I know you guys would love to tear these two puny punks to shreds and make an entire gourmet meal out of their innards, I’m afraid I have some… unfinished business to attend to with the kids first,” he remarked to his henchmen, sending the newly disappointed crowd off to whatever part of the Nightmare Realm they’d crawled out of. “That’s right, run along and get a good seat to watch the show from. Because oh boy,” Bill turned his full attention back to Steven and Dipper, his eye burning with his iconic blue fire as he set his sights solely on them. “What a show we’re about to have here…”

Steven took in a hitched, panicked breath at this, briefly casting a glance back at Dipper behind him, only to find that he was more or less hyperventilating, the weight of the grave situation they’d now found themselves in crushing him more and more with each passing second. And even though he was immensely afraid at the moment himself, the young Gem was determined to do his best to try to carry that weight for the both of them where Dipper couldn’t. “L-look,” he addressed Bill as calmly as he possibly could. “We don’t know how we ended up here, but-”

“Oh, you don’t?” Bill interrupted, leaping off his throne as it vanished into thin air. “Really? I thought it was beyond obvious if you take two seconds to think about that pretty little rift ol’ Sixer’s been trying to lock up nice and tight away from me!”

“The rift…” Steven repeated with a small gasp of realization. “S-so, that thing in the forest really did have something to do with it?”

“Sure did!” Bill confirmed. “Looks like Fordsy’s nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is. Ya see, kids, he might have the rift itself contained for now, but it’s still a highly unstable drop of paradoxical, trans-dimensional energy that’s being kept safe only by some dumb, glorified snowglobe. You really think something like that is gonna keep that rift from letting loose some unexpected… side effects as long as it stays in your dimension?”

“S-side effects…?” Dipper dared to speak up, his curiosity getting the better of him, even amidst his own persistent panic. 

“Hey, look who finally got his voice back!” Bill teased callously. “I was starting to think you’d gone mute on me, Pine Tree. Anyway, yessiree! A whole boatload of side effects, but the main one is that it’s wearing down the walls between dimensions, just like Sixer’s portal did back when it was up and running. And the longer that rift chips away at those walls, the more chances you have for random wormholes to pop up all over the place! And you wanna know where all those wormholes just so happen to lead…?”

The boys exchanged an uneasy glance, both of them quite alarmed by what the dream demon was implying through this explanation alone, especially when they considered it was the very means through which they’d found themselves here to begin with. “Uh… h-here?” Steven guessed anxiously. 

“Ding ding ding! We have a winner!” Bill chimed as a noisy mess of game show lights and sound effects blared dramatically behind him. “You’re really using your noggin today, huh, Rosebud? I guess there’s a first for everything! Though I gotta admit, I wasn’t actually expecting one of those mini-portals to actually pull anything through it at all, but can you imagine my surprise when it did! And you kids, of all the meatskins it could have picked out there? Right as I was in the middle of sitting here, watching you two have a grand old time duking it out--which was hilarious by the way? Well, I guess you could say that today is my lucky day!”

Both boys bristled at the demon’s cutting remarks, though even so, they chose to mostly ignore them as Dipper nervously piped up with another horrific thought that had just occurred to him. “W-wait… so… if these portals between h-here and Earth just keep… showing up… why haven’t you just g-gone through any of them?” he asked shakily, trying and failing not to show just how frightened he really was. “T-that is what you want, right? T-to get into our dimension a-and take it over?”

Bill’s usually cheery tune quickly changed at this, his triangular form turning blood red as he glared down at Dipper in particular. “Oh, Pine Tree, you always know just the right questions to ask to PUSH MY BUTTONS!” he shouted, suddenly furious as the Nightmare Realm rumbled all around him. “You really think that I would even hesitate to leap through one of those portals into your dimension if I could? Problem is, I CAN’T! I’m still bound to this STUPID WASTELAND OF A DIMENSION! Or…” Bill seemed to calm somewhat at this, much to the boys’ shared relief.  “At least I am until I get my hands on that rift… You kids wouldn’t wouldn’t happen to know someone who’d be able to help me out with that little problem, would you?”

“No,” Dipper said almost immediately, resolve starting to replace his fear as he sent a steady, stern glare Bill’s way. “You can do whatever you want to us, but we will never ever give you that rift!”

Steven couldn’t help but look over at Dipper with a small smile at this, glad to see his usual bravery making a return, even in the face of undoubtedly his greatest fear. “That’s right!” Steven solidly, boldly agreed. “We made a promise to protect it from you, and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do!”

While both boys expected Bill’s more than infamous temper to flare up over their brazen resistance, he instead reacted in the complete opposite way instead. He laughed. “Oh, you boys are a real RIOT!” he chortled as madly as ever, his crimson pallor returning to its usual garish yellow. “You two really think I’m gonna try and swipe that rift from you?! What, do you think I’m some kind of idiot like Sixer is?! He’s got you kids so brainwashed into hoarding that thing away from me to the point that you’d probably rather die than hand it over to me. Which can be arranged, easily, of course, but still, let’s just say I’ve got… another pawn in mind when it comes to that rift. Besides, why waste time with that when I can make an even better use of this opportunity to get something else I’ve been after instead....?”

Steven took in a sharp, involuntary gasp at this, his eyes wide as he instantly gripped the gemstone on his navel, even if it was currently covered by his shirt. Bill picked up on his obvious alarm almost instantly, yet he simply brushed the young Gem’s palpable fear off with a callous scoff. “Geez, calm down, Rosebud, I wasn’t talking about that rock on your gut,” he remarked, rolling his eye. “The universe doesn’t revolve around you, ya know, even if your last name might have you thinking otherwise. But, relax! I don’t have my sights set on your gem this time around. At least not yet, anyway.”

“Oh…” Steven let out a sigh of relief, though he did notice Dipper tense up beside him in light of this new uncertainty. “W-well, if you don’t need anything from us, t-then maybe you could just… I-I don’t know, let us go ho-”

“No can do, Rosebud!” Bill interrupted succinctly. “I can’t just open up one of those tiny tears in reality myself, as much as I’d love to just so I could slip through it too. Didn’t ya hear the part about how they open up randomly? For all you know, you could be stuck here for what would be days, maybe even weeks in your dimension!”

Needless to say that upon hearing this news, both boys’ hearts practically dropped to their stomachs. The mere thought of being trapped here, in this chaotic, lawless, mess of a dimension with no one but Bill Cipher, of all beings, and his band of malicious, blood-thirsty demons to keep them company was just about the most terrifying, horrific thing for either of them, a thought so unbearable they could scarcely even comprehend it. Yet for as dreadful as it all was, it seemed as though it was all-too-true all the same. 

“Oh, now don’t worry!” Bill quipped, taking twisted pleasure in the boys’ obvious panic over their plight. “I have the perfect plan in mind to keep you kids entertained during your stay here. See, lately I’ve been thinking, doing that whole self-reflection thing you humans try and usually fail miserably at. I’ve made some pretty outstanding deals these past few months, deals that could have landed me with everything I need to take over your dimension in one fell swoop. But every single time I got close, you know who was always there to stop me?”

Neither of the boys had a chance to answer this question, one they already largely knew the answer to. Because in an instant, the dream demon’s eye flooded with golden light, practically becoming a bright spotlight that shined down directly upon them both. “That’s right! You two! Along with any combination of the Crystal Chumps and/or Shooting Star and Sword Swinger, but what’s consistent is that every time one of my plans falls through, you boys are always in the mix somehow. The time I snuck into Stan’s mind, when I took your body for a test drive, Pine Tree-” Dipper seized up with yet another burst of potent fear upon hearing this casual reminder of something that deeply haunted him even still, though even so, Bill hardly seemed to notice as he continued his list. “But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when you two personally split my fusion with Greenie up! Pyrite had enough power and potential to crush those Crystal Chumps to dust, but somebody just had to help someone else run a sword through them, DIDN’T YOU?!” 

Despite the dream demon’s severe tone, Steven spoke up, prompted by all of the wavering courage he really had in the face of such clear fury. “Y-yes, we did,” he professed firmly, evenly. “We stopped you each of those times because you were trying to hurt our friends! Our home! We had to do something to help them!”

Upon hearing this earnest argument, Bill simply narrowed his eye at the young Gem in particular, visibly annoyed by such a resistant claim. “Well, if you care so much about your friends, where are they to help you now?” he asked knowingly, piercingly before his tone picked back up into its usually playfulness once more. “It’s a shame none of them even know you kids are here; they’re really gonna miss out on something special here. See Rosebud, Pine Tree, we’re about to play a little game here. The name of that game is REVENGE.” At this, bright bursts of blue fire ignited over both of the demon’s palms, his single eye sparking with violent, malicious intent as he glared down at both of the defenseless boys before him hatefully. “And this time, the winner takes IT ALL!” 

Without wasting another second on small talk, Bill began his attack, launching both his flames at the boys in full speed. Steven rushed to move his shield in front of both himself and Dipper, expanding it as wide as he possibly could to block the devastating strike. While it succeeded in fending the fire off, the sheer force of the blow was enough to send them both flying back across the vast expanse of the Nightmare Realm. The unexpected flight fortunately seemed to put them out of Bill’s reach, though unfortunately it wasn’t for very long. As the pair finally floated to a gradual, gravity-free stop, the demon suddenly teleported directly behind them, sizing his form up to tower over them as he prepared to grab them both. The most Steven could do to stop him was form another bubble around himself and Dipper, though Bill just as easily swiped the bubble itself up, tossing it up as if it were nothing more than a mere plaything. 

“Ohoho! Way to spice things up, Rosebud!” Bill quipped as he casually juggled the bubble, ignoring the boys’ shared cries of protest as they were roughly tossed about inside it. “Let’s play ball!” At this, the demon threw the bubble up high, forcing some sort of gravity upon it to bring it back down as he pulled a nail-covered bat into existence out of thin air. He used that bat to strike the bubble squarely, sending it soaring across the starry void once more with both Steven and Dipper inside, helpless to even try to stop it. “Iiiiiiits outta here! A home run hit! And the crowd goes wild!” 

Sure enough, Bill’s horde of demonic friends erupted into a hearty round of cheers from wherever unknown corner of the Nightmare Realm they were watching from. While the dream demon eagerly soaked up their praise, he missed the boys’ bubble as it flew far out of his sight, ultimately crashing hard into a stationary asteroid that ended up popping it completely. Without anything to safely contain them, Steven and Dipper hit the asteroid themselves, though thankfully the bubble had cushioned the brunt of what would have otherwise been a brutal blow. Even so, they still they both rolled hard across the large rock, inevitably falling back into the open space behind it, much worse for wear considering the substantial cuts and bruises they had sustained. The only upside amidst this harrowing situation was that there now seemed to be some actual distance between them and Bill, though they were both more than well aware that the dream demon could just as easily bridge that distance to kickstart his barrage of twisted violence all over again. 

“T-that was… a-a lot…” Steven said breathlessly, pressing against the side of the asteroid. He stole a weary glance over at Dipper, only to find a noticeably bleeding cut torn across his face, which itself was engulfed in nothing less than immense, inescapable terror. “Oh!” the young Gem gasped, quickly licking his hand. “Here, let me-”

“Don’t,” Dipper’s expression turned harsh at this as he pushed Steven’s hand and the healing spit covering it away. “There’s no point. W-we’re not… we can’t... “ He trailed off, pulling his knees to his chest in a tight hug as he let out an anguished sob. “T-there’s no way either of us have a chance at surviving here, not for long, n-not against… him.”

“W-what? No,” Steven countered immediately, racing to figure out some way to comfort Dipper, despite how despondent he was himself over their dire straits. “W-we’ll figure something out, I know we can. L-like I said earlier, we’ve stopped Bill before, so-”

“We’ve never stopped him by ourselves!” Dipper cut him off sharply. “We’ve always had Mabel or Connie or the Gems to help us! And what’s more is we’ve never had to fight him here, on his home turf! He has a physical form here! He doesn’t need to possess or fuse with someone anymore! He’s free to do whatever he wants to us and if you think he might go easy on us then you’re wrong!”

“W-well, maybe can outrun him somehow,” Steven ventured anxiously. “Then we can wait for another one of those portals to open up and… Um… Oh, I know! O-once the Gems and your uncles notice we’re gone, maybe they’ll go looking for us and-”

“And what, Steven? You heard what Bill said! Nobody even knows we’re here!” Dipper argued intensely, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. “No one is coming to save us… S-so stop doing that thing you always do where you act like everything is going to turn out alright in the end, because it’s not, not this time. Don’t you get it, Steven?” He buried his face in his hands, choking out another mournful, miserable whimper as he admitted the only thing he knew to be absolutely certain now. “W-we… we’re going to die here…”

At this, Dipper more or less completely lost himself to his grief, grief over a present that was about to painfully be cut short, over a future he’d never get to have. Both brought to a violent conclusion by the very demon he’d always feared would end them. Steven nearly victim to that same grief too, especially when he considered just how right Dipper really was. No one knew where they were, no one was going to come to their rescue. The chances of another portal leading back to their own dimension opening up were completely unknown, and the possibility of them even surviving long enough to reach it against a complete and utter sadist like Bill was genuinely low to none. All in all, it really didn’t seem like either of them would survive this ordeal, perhaps the gravest, most immediate danger either of them had ever been thrust into before.

And yet… 

Despite even those impossible, insurmountable odds, Steven refused to give up. At least not yet. 

“Dipper,” he began, his tone slow and purposeful as he came to float directly in front of Dipper. He resisted his attempts at grabbing his hands at first, but eventually folded, allowing the young Gem to see all of the strife and dread that had claimed his expression quite some time ago. “I… I know this seems really bad, but… I still think we have a chance. A-and I think, deep down, you feel the same way too.”

Dipper let out a tight, exhausted sigh, shaking his head hopelessly. “S-steven, I…”

“You can’t give up,” Steven implored, gripping his hands tightly. “We can’t give up. I… I think I have an idea…” He paused for a moment, allowing that idea, however risky it might have been, to solidify inside his mind before proposing it to Dipper. “I know someone who might be able to stand a chance against Bill, e-even if we can’t on our own. The only thing is… I-I need you to trust me…”

Before Dipper even had a chance to consider this offer, Bill’s voice suddenly rang out across the surrounding section of the Nightmare Realm, a clear sign that he was on the hunt for his victims once more. “Oh, Pine Tree! Rosebud!” he called, his tone deceptively bright and friendly. “Come on out! You don’t wanna call it quits already, do you? Not when the game’s only just begun…”

“Dipper, please,” Steven practically begged, pulling his hands out of Dipper’s, though his pleading sights stayed set on him. “I-I know you’re probably still mad at me, a-and I’m sorry, but right now, I need you. I-I… I can’t do this without you! We can’t do this without each other! So please…” This time, it was the young Gem who let out a small, nervous sob, consumed by worry. Though even still, that worry had almost nothing to do with the possibility of Bill finding them at all. “Just… trust me again… Just this once… please…”

For what seemed like ages, Dipper said nothing, making not a single move to respond to either accept or reject the young Gem’s tearful appeal. His mind was racing with far too many thoughts at once, his upheaved emotions tossing him in a wild sea of shock, fear, anger, and grief. But amidst that sea, amidst the tide of chaos that threatened to swallow him up completely, was Steven. Steven, who had thoughtlessly invaded his dreams just like Bill himself had done so many times before. Steven, who so very often thought only of himself under the guise of trying to help others. Steven, who had inadvertently been the reason why they’d ended up in this potentially fatal disaster in the first place. 

Steven… who was always there to offer him a comforting smile and a kind word when he needed it most. Steven, who was always more than ready to throw himself in the line of fire if it meant protecting his friends, including him, even after he’d screamed and yelled and practically torn their friendship apart. Steven, who was asking for something as simple as his trust, who was extending out a hand to him in the hopes that he’d take it, so that they could at least try to survive, try to get through this together. 

And, in spite of everything else going on around him and inside him, that was a hand Dipper slowly but surely found himself taking. 

“Alright, kids, hide-and-seek time is over!” Bill shouted, growing impatient as he continued combing through the surrounding asteroid field. “I mean it, Rosebud, Pine Tree, you two twerps better get out here where I can pummel you into oblivion NOW or else I’m gonna-” The dream demon was succinctly cut off as a sudden, lightning-fast projectile sped at him from behind, slicing through one of his arms to the point that it managed to cut it off completely, catching him off guard in the process. “WHAT?!” 

Bill’s eye drifted to his backside, the rest of his features following suit so he could properly see where this sudden attack had come from. Only to be met with a sight, or rather, a fusion, that even he hadn’t been expecting. 

“You called?” Stepper grinned, looking up at the dream demon with a new sense of determination. He stood tall and unflinching atop the asteroid his halves had just been hiding behind, his shield journal already formed over his lower palms with a new shield summoned over it, ready to fly just as the first one had. And all the while, he couldn’t help but take some level in pride in just how genuinely surprised Bill seemed to be by his timely attack, his hope starting to rise as he realized that, with the respective strengths of his halves combined, he might just have a chance after all. 

Bill, however, didn’t see things quite the same way. His bafflement only seemed to last for a moment as he quickly recovered from the fusion’s attack, regenerating his arm easily and immediately. And as he did, all sense of shock seemed to disappear as he let out a loud, mocking laugh instead. “Oh, now this? THIS is a REAL riot right here!” he cackled almost madly, much to Stepper’s confusion. “And I thought Rose Star was hilarious, but you, Pine Bud? You take RIDICULOUS to a whole new level!”

Stepper let out a harsh scoff at this, his own confidence getting the better of him as he fired off just as punchy of a comeback to the dream demon himself. “I-I’ll tell you what’s ridiculous,” he began, trying his best to recover from how his voice had briefly cracked in fear at the start. “Using a nail bat to knock a to kids across an entire dimension. Seriously, did the bat even need to have nails in it? That was just overkill if you ask me.”

Bill’s amusement quickly shifted into a sharpened glare at this. “Oh, what, do you think you’re some kind of comedian now, Rose Tree? You really are funny if you think fusing is gonna save you now. You know, I’m surprised you two were even able to fuse at all what with you being at each others’ throats and all. Guess it goes to show just how far you boys are willing to go when you’re really desperate.”

Stepper’s bravado quickly shifted in annoyance at this reminder, a reminder of the still palpable tension still lingering between both of his halves, even if he had chosen to ignore that tension for now to maintain his fusion. “Shut up,” he hissed, waiting no time in launching his next shield at the demon. This one had the addition of spikes barbing its edges, and though Stepper had aimed it directly for Bill’s eye, the demon managed to teleport out of its path just before it could hit him. Instead, he retaliated, reappearing just behind the fusion and firing off a powerful laser blast from his eye to obliterate the asteroid Stepper was standing on upon impact. Fortunately, he’d managed to jump off it back into the gravity-free air, taking advantage of the momentum he gained to send several smaller shield-projectiles Bill’s way. The demon was able to deflect most of these easily, though Stepper managed to manipulate a few of them to change their course so they’d crash into Bill from behind, each of them exploding upon impact. 

“Ow!” Bill shouted, quite perturbed by the surprisingly potent attack. “Rose Tree!”

“What’s the matter, Bill?” Stepper taunted, perhaps a bit too brazenly, as he took up a perch on another nearby asteroid. “Aren’t used to someone who can actually keep up with your ‘game’?”

“Ha! You WISH you could keep up with me, Pine Bud!” Bill shouted manically, scorching blue flames bursting from both his hands. As he launched them at the fusion, Stepper deflected them with a large, well-cast shield from his journal, one that not only seemed to dispel the fire but deflect it as well. All four of his arms were put to work upholding it, his gem, birthmark, and journal alike bursting with powerful light as he shoved that shield hard back at Bill. As drenched in his own flames as the shield already was, the demon was unprepared for the full force of it striking him as heavily as it did, and his genuinely pained, outraged shout echoed across the Nightmare Realm as he was swiftly thrown back through it. 

In light of such a momentous, successful blow, Stepper himself was quite stunned, looking to his shield journal with apt amazement. He had always known, from the very first time he’d been formed, that it was a strange, unique, special weapon, one that contained powers that even he didn’t hold all of the answers to yet. It had served him well before in taking down Peridot’s unwanted robinoids months ago, but now, was there indeed a chance, however small, that it might just be enough to help him take on Bill Cipher himself? 

“W-we could do this…” Stepper said to himself, his halves conversing with a sense of rising hope and excitement. “We could win this! Maybe… maybe we could even do more than just win; maybe we could even stop Bill for good! After all,” he grinned as he looked afar off in the distance to where Bill was still being forced back thanks to his own shield’s strength. “He’s not invincible here. Y-you really think we could beat him? If we stay together like this? I think so.” He laughed in spite of himself, his upper arms wrapping around themselves in a steadying, affectionate, assuring hug, both of his halves in perfect harmony when it came to this daring endeavor. “O-ok. Then let’s do it. And while we’re at it,” he paused, allowing his shield journal to float before him, placing his lower hands under it as its pages flipped rapidly on their own accord. “Let’s see what this thing can really do.”

By now, Bill had recovered from Stepper’s last attack, rushing across the wide span of the Nightmare Realm in a matter of mere seconds to strike back. “You know, Rose Tree, you’re really starting to GET ON MY NERVES!” he yelled, his form flashing bright red as he appeared massive and intimidating before the fusion. “I think it's high time someone TORE YOU TWO APART!” 

In an instant, the dream demon lashed out, hoping to grab ahold on the fusion to do exactly that, literally. Still, Stepper was ready for him, for right as Bill’s hands reached for him, he called upon another bubble. This one, however, was quite a bit different, for as soon as the dream demon so much as touched it, he retracted his hands with a startled yelp of pain. 

“Whoa…” Stepper gasped, looking over the newfound spikes he’d somehow formed on the outer surface of his bubble. “Cool! Oo! I can think of something even cooler.” At this, the fusion flipped through the earlier pages of his journal, landing on one depicting a familiar sword that had recently been lost to the depths of the lake. But with just a bit of magic, it had the chance to be reclaimed in some way, and for Stepper, that was far better than nothing. 

“You must think you have a whole bunch of nifty tricks up all four of your sleeves, dontcha, Rose Tree?” Bill asked, clearly annoyed at this point as his eye flashed a violent red. “Well SO DO I!”

Stepper finished pulling a conjured, pinkened version of the Sword of Seasons out of the shield journal just in time to use it to slice through the first of several heavy waves of successive, destructive energy Bill sent his way. As one set of his arms continued deflecting these attacks, his other arms took up a shield, which he positioned protectively in front of himself to stem the onslaught completely. From there, Stepper kept his pace rapid, tossing the shield at Bill full force and landing a successful strike to his eye this time. While the dream demon was distracted with recovering from such a painful blow, Stepper rushed forward, leaping off his asteroid perch with his sword raised high, though just before he could bring it down on Bill, the demon disappeared out of his reach once more. Bill reappeared somewhere behind him, absolutely livid, though Stepper still didn’t back down. Instead, he formed another shield under his feet, using it as a launch pad to jump off to do so he could propel himself in Bill’s direction, swinging his sword out broadly as he did. The dream demon attempted to fend him off with a rapid fire series of flame bursts, but a large and sturdy shield was more than enough to protect the fusion from them. And for quite awhile, that was how the battle flowed; Bill and Stepper, both doling out strong, heavy attacks aimed for each other, none of which really did much damage thanks to the steady line of defense and stamina both had on their sides. 

Stepper did manage to briefly break that flow, however, by swiftly working to put some tactical distance between himself and Bill so he could have time to plan his next move. He distracted the dream demon with another series of small seeker shields before he leapt onto the nearest asteroid, looking through his shield journal for anything else that might be useful. “Come on, we’ve got him on the ropes,” he muttered both to himself and the magical tome floating in front of him. “Give me something really good this time.” As if it was answering the fusion’s request, the journal flashed with vibrant light once more before its flipping pages landed on two in particular, one within each different half of the journal as the pages between them stood up perfectly straight. And printed upon those two pages was a plan that Stepper could and readily did hope was more than enough to finally put this arduous fight to an end once and for all. “Perfect!” he grinned, determined to give that plan a try. Or rather, to give his component halves a try. 

“You know, Pine Bud,” Bill’s entire form was as he began to approach the fusion hotly. “I’m getting REAL sick of you and that stupid book of yours! You’re almost more of a pain while you’re fused than you two are on your own!”

“Oh, really?” Stepper asked, smirking as he let his journal drop low toward his feet. “I don’t know if I’d be too sure of that if I were you…”With a simple flourish of his upper hands, the fusion conjured up his next method of attack from the two open pages of the shield journal. And from those pages, solid, yet still clearly holographic life-sized doubles of both Steven and Dipper appeared, pigmented pink and blue respectively as they stood, already armed with a shield and a sword from the start. Through the journal, Stepper was in full command of these copies of his halves as he pointed them at their target, and without skipping a beat, both doubles lunged for the dream demon, ready to attack. While Bill worked in taking down the first set, Stepper worked on creating several more in quick succession, sending each of them the demon’s way as he amassed an army essentially composed of himself. The copies, while not the most sturdy, were plentiful as they attacked Bill essentially in a haphazard swarm, beating their swords and shields away at him even as the demon retaliated by destroying as many of them as quickly as he could. Still, Stepper kept them coming, his hopes steadily rising as he watched his duplicates begin to overwhelm Bill while he waited for just the opening he needed to finally win this deadly brawl.

And yet, despite those hopes, it was an opening that never came. 

“ENOUGH!” Bill suddenly shouted, unleashing a powerful wave of energy to dissipate all of the boys’ clones. The blast also knocked Stepper back hard, preventing him from conjuring up anymore as the shield journal fell away from him before disappearing completely. “You sure have shown off that you’ve got some pretty sharp thorns to ya, Rose Tree,” Bill continued angrily, his hands glowing with an entirely new type of dangerous power. “Well, why don’t I take the time to show you MINE? Fair warning: they’re at least a MILLION TIMES SHARPER THAN YOURS!” 

Stepper gasped, quickly righting himself to float upright, though he didn’t get much of a chance to summon his shield journal again before something sharp latched onto one of his lower arms. The same thing happened to his other arms in short order, and from there it didn’t take Stepper long to see what it was: long, thick black vines, covered in tiny, yet razor-sharp thorns that had already begun to cut deep into his skin. Despite his efforts to pull himself out of them, their grip only grew tighter, worsening as even more vines began latching onto his legs, snaking their way up his torso, his chest, over his neck, even all the way up to his face until he was essentially covered with them. Then, to make matters worse, the vines themselves began to pull against him, stretching all four of his arms and his legs out wide to the point that he felt as though his limbs were going to be ripped clean out of their sockets. And yet, despite his involuntary cry of agony the sting of the thorns in particular managed to draw out of him, Bill simply let out a smug, triumphant, amused laugh at the fusion’s clear misery. 

“Ah, now THAT’S more like it!” he remarked blithely, even as Stepper voiced another protesting, pained shout. “You know, I really gotta hand it to ya, Rose Tree, you’re putting up way more of a fight than I ever would have imagined out of a soft, baby-faced fusion like you. Too bad that fight ends right here. Playtime is over, boys! Which means now, the fun can REALLY begin…”

Despite this alarming threat, Stepper noticed that the vine latched onto one of his upper arms was finally starting to loosen. He wasted no time in pulling free from it, calling upon a small shield that he swiftly used to cut through the rest of them, pulling them off his body and just as quickly licking one of his hands to heal as many of the wounds they’d left him with as he could. He wasn’t able to take care of too many of them, however, before Bill caught him off guard with a heavy burst of flame. Stepper barely had time to react by throwing up a last-minute shield, though even still, that did little to stop the attack from shoving him back as he took most of the brutal brunt of the blow. This time, however, he didn’t simply continue reeling back through open space; instead he landed hard against something solid, a sideways surface that seemed to possess its own gravity as he landed upon it. 

“W-what…?” Stepper breathed, slowly starting to pick himself up off the new ground, only to be completely baffled by what surrounded him. He found himself on a massive, twisted structure, a mess of colors and shapes and stairs and floors and pillars, each of which was turned and twisted in a completely different direction. As bewildered as he was by this incomprehensible new setting, he didn’t get a chance to try to make sense of it before Bill suddenly appeared before him once more, scaled down dramatically to the point that he was now even smaller than the fusion himself. 

“Welcome to the Quadrangle of Qonfusion, boys! My favorite hangout in the entire Nightmare Realm! I’d give you the grand tour, but you won’t really be needing one since its  is about to become your GRAVE!”

Stepper took a wide step back away from the demon at this, all four of his hands clenched into tight, anxious fists as he tried to maintain his previously calm composure. “G-grave?” he repeated, doing his best to inject an air of cockiness into his tone. “B-but I thought you’d want me alive. I do still have Steven’s‒my gem after all.”

“Ohh don’t you worry about that, Pine Bud!” Bill retorted easily as he resumed his larger size once more. “I’ll make sure to pry that gem outta Rosebud’s cold, dead corpse before I toss that and Pine Tree’s into the endless empty abyss that acts as this dimension’s garbage dump! All I gotta do is rip you to pieces first and everything else will fall perfectly into place!”

At this, the dream demon conjured up his cane out of thin air and took a broad swing right at the fusion as blue flames ignited over the entire length of it. Stepper thankfully hat the wits about him to leap out of its path, deciding his best option was to retreat for now, if only for the sake of gaining a moment to reclaim his own weapon once more. So he rushed into the nearest hallway, getting himself out of Bill’s immediate range as he looked for some sort of refuge. As he ran, he let his gem do the work in bringing forth his shield journal once more, though it nearly fell out of his grasp entirely as gravity suddenly shifted sharply on him. Stepper let out a startled cry as he fell upward onto a set of upside down stairs, forced to reorient himself entirely as his lower set of arms clung onto his journal for dear life. The only positive seemed to be that Bill apparently hadn’t noticed as he glided through the hallway the fusion had just been in, still gripping his flaming cane as he casually called out to the prey he was hunting. 

“You know, it’s pretty sad, Pine Bud,” Bill remarked with no sympathy in his tone whatsoever. “Even if everyone back in your dimension knew where you were and what was happening to you, chances are they wouldn’t even care. I mean, it’s not like anybody even wants either of you around to begin with, right?”

Stepper made sure not to respond to this, knowing that this was likely just a dirty, underhanded tactic to get him to reveal himself. And yet, his silence was soon broken as he heard a new voice entirely ring out not too far away from him.

“Dipper? Steven?’

The fusion gasped, immediately rising to his feet to look to the silhouette standing within the darkness of the doorway in front of him. “N-no…” he stammered, eyes wide with disbelief as he took a small step closer. “I-it can’t be. You’re not supposed to be here!”

“...Neither are you.”

Stepper faltered as the obscured figure finally became clear, tears welling up in his eyes as he reached out toward her. “M-Mabel…”

“Why?” Mabel cut him off, her tone and expression alike uncharacteristically harsh and cold. “Why do you guys keep leaving me behind?”

“...W-what?” Stepper asked, genuinely confused amidst his grief. 

“Every single time you guys fuse, I’m always the one who gets left out!” Mabel accused bitterly. “And even when you’re not fused, you’re always off doing more important things with me, like you think I can’t handle them! Like I’m too stupid and silly to be a part of things! Like I said,” Tears were welling up in her eyes by this point, tears that the fusion mirrored as he stared at her in disbelief. “You’re always leaving me behind, Dipper…”

“N-no…” the fusion shook his head, distraught. “Mabel, of course I don’t think that, I don’t-“

“You always leave me out too, you know.” Stepper flinched, recognizing this new voice instantly. A palpable burst of dread coursed through him as he watched Connie step out of the same doorway Mabel had come from as she came to stand alongside her.  “What, am I not a part of the team too? Do I just not matter to either of you!?”

Stepper paused, dumbstruck as he desperately tried to search for the words to counteract these cruel claims. “Connie, I-”

“Even when we are a part of your disasters, things always go wrong.” As if out of nowhere, Pacifica suddenly stepped in to join Mabel and Connie’s rigid round of allegations. “You always put everyone in danger with your stupid mysteries-”

“And all of that dumb Gem stuff,” Connie added, her toine just as icy. “Maybe we’d all just be better off if you never came back at all. 

“Maybe…” Mabel began, seeming to hesitate for a moment before delivering her remorseless verdict. “Maybe it would just be better if you both left us all behind for good.”

“N-no,” Stepper countered tearfully, taking another small step toward the trio. Toward the people his halves cared so much about even if they weren’t currently giving that care back in return. “I would never, I-I don’t… I’m not going to leave any of you behind, ever. I promise!”

All three of the girls were silent at this, their expressions darkening as they began to turn away from the fusion entirely. Pacifica and Connie soon returned back into the empty doorway they had come out of, but Mabel still lingered behind for one final spiteful statement. “...You already have.”

A small, yet poignant sob escaped Stepper at this, and as Mabel disappeared into the same darkness Connie and Pacifica had, he didn’t hesitate to chase after all three of them. “W-wait!” he called, desperate to reach them, desperate to see if what they’d said to him was actually the truth. And desperately hoping all the while, that it wasn’t.

He passed through the doorway, into a dark, relatively short hallway where gravity turned on him once more, essentially forcing him to walk along the wall until he emerged on the other side of it. What met him was a narrow straight-away, though much to his alarm, none of the girls were anywhere in sight. He panicked, ready to call out for them to find them, to make sure they were alright and unharmed in this dangerous, practically deadly place. Yet before he could, another familiar voice happened to sound out from somewhere behind him. 

“Where do you two think you’re going?” Startled, Stepper turned to see none other than Stan, his arms crossed as he leaned against the doorway the fusion had just come out of. 

“G-Grunkle Pines?” Stepper asked, confused and anxious, especially at just how calm yet callous the conman seemed to be. “W-what are you doing h-”

“You know,” Stan cut him off, his tone and expression both dry as he began to approach the fusion. “This whole wacko world is pretty twisted. But I’d say it’s the perfect place for two freakshow kids fused into an even bigger, four-armed freakshow, wouldn’t you?”

Stepper shuddered, inching back nervously as the conman continued to approach him almost threateningly. “W-wh… why would you say that…?” 

“Cause it’s obvious, kid,” Stan sneered haughtily as he came to stop directly in front of the fusion. “In fact, since you seem to fit right in, why don’t you just stay here?”

Before Stepper even had a chance to react, Stan suddenly reached out and shoved him clean over the edge of the walkway they were both on. The fusion was unable to keep himself from falling over side of it, though as he lost his footing, gravity pulled him in yet another direction, this time hard to his left. He plummeted for what seemed like ages before landing hard against a wide, level floor, one lined with towering pillars on either side of it. However, he just so happened to land exactly on one of his lower arms, which took the brunt of the blow with a spark of excruciating pain accompanied by an audible snap. Stepper was unable to hold back an agonized scream as he cradled his clearly broken arm, though even amidst the tears still brimming in his eyes he did his best to reach the damaged limb up to his mouth. The moment he so much as gently kissed it, instant relief overwhelmed his senses, the brutal break completely repaired by the healing magic he thankfully still had, even while fused, as though the injury had never even happened at all. 

“You can’t just magically heal everything and make it all better.” 

“Even when you’re together, you’re nowhere near strong enough to save anyone.”

“Not even yourselves.”

Stepper already knew the Gems were coming before they even stepped into his field of vision based on these judgemental, cruel remarks alone. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl alike all looked down at him as he remained on his spot on the ground, already dreading what else they’d have to say to him after everything he’d heard thus far. 

“Why don’t you just give up already, man?” Amethyst began, rolling her eyes at him. “You really think you’re gonna last long here? Quit kidding yourselves.”

“Maybe if you were half the Gem Rose was, you might have had a chance,” Pearl remarked with an ire-filled scowl. “To think that she gave everything up for you, Steven, and then you go and fuse with a simple human just to make yourself even weaker? Disgusting.”

“You’re not a stable fusion,” Garnet added, her tone hollow and cold. “And even if you were, it wouldn’t matter. That’s not enough to save you and it’s not enough to make us, or anyone else, want you. We never did to begin with.”

Stepper jolted at this, his breathing shuddering as he slowly pulled himself to stand. Something wasn’t right here, he knew that much, yet for as strange as these encounters all seemed, his emotions were still managing to work against him all the same. “N-no, that’s not true,” he asserted as firmly as he possibly could, counteracting his fears and grief with memories of just how much the Gems, how much Stan, how much Pacifica, Connie, and Mabel all really cared for him. For both of them. “I… I know it’s not. You said-”

“They were lying.” Stepper froze as the Gems parted ways for Ford to approach, the goldenish gleam reflecting from his glasses obscuring his eyes as he stared at the fusion piercingly. “Everyone does around you, just to keep you two from wasting our time by falling apart. Such fragile, futile things you boys are. It was foolish of me to think I could think I could trust either of you with anything, much less something as important as the rift. Tell me, boys. How do you expect to protect it when you can’t even protect yourselves?”

Stepper shook his head, wanting to argue, wanting to protest these malicious claims, but the words just wouldn’t come. The author and the Gems all continued to glare at him expectantly, saying nothing more though the disdain on each of their faces was perfectly clear. And under the crushing weight of that disdain, Stepper found himself hard-pressed to even try to bear it. 

So he turned, hoping to run, hoping to escape from his own doubts, his own fears, his own shortcomings and faults, as mounting and plentiful as they all were. Yet before he could take so much as a single step, he was stopped by yet another familiar figure, about the very last person, or Gem rather, he could have ever expected to see. 

“Oh, Steven…” Rose Quartz said, her voice every bit the same as he remembered it being from her tape. Yet instead of the gentle kindness and love that had filled it there, the only things emanating from her tone now was bitterness and scorn. “What a disappointment you turned out to be. I had hoped you would have followed in my footsteps to protect the Earth in my absence. But in the end, it looks like your little friend was right.” A sinister, twisted grin filled the pink Gem’s features, especially as Stepper essentially cowered before her in tears and terror. “You really are just… like… ME!”

Suddenly, “Rose’s” eyes flashed yellow, her pupils thin, perfect slits to match Bill’s telltale demented laughter coming out of her mouth. In a sudden flash of blinding light, the pink Gem was gone as the dream demon resumed his usual form, his sadistic masquerade coming to an end as he took a wicked sense of delight in just how shaken the fusion was by it all. 

“N-no,” Stepper breathed tightly, all four of his hands curled into tight, shaking fists. “No! T-that’s not… W-what I said, I-I didn’t mean that!”

“That’s not what I overheard, Pine Bud,” Bill corrected, playing out the offending scene on his flat form. And sure enough, there was Dipper, his tone livid and dead-serious as he shouted at Steven relentlessly. “Like Bill, Steven! You’re just like Bill!”

Stepper wavered at this, half of him practically drowning in guilt over words he desperately wished he could take back. Words he wished with every fiber of his being that he’d never even foolishly, thoughtlessly said in the first place. His gemstone and his birthmark suddenly flashed, conveying that remorse between both of his halves, though it did little to stem the rising tide of anger he could feel against his own regretful grief. “I-I’m sorry!” he begged himself, his upper arms embracing himself tightly as his lower hand remained curled into unyielding fists. “Please, I need you to understand! I was just mad! I-I wasn’t thinking! I just-”

“Sounds to me like Pine Tree is just trying to save his own skin, as usual,” Bill interrupted, casually floating around the distracted, distraught fusion. “You know, Rosebud, he did say he didn’t want your help to begin with, so why even bother? With friends as crummy and ungrateful as he is, you might as well not even have any! In fact, maybe you should just cut him loose completely. You’d sure save yourself a lot of time and effort in trying to fix what’s way past broken if you did!”

By now, Stepper was all but consumed by panic, tears streaking heavily down his face as he continued his painful plea to his other half, who had gone all but silent amidst all this. “I… I’m so, so sorry…” he repeated once more, half of him hating himself for the momentous mistake he’d made. “I said so many horrible things to you, I… m-maybe you should just break things off with me…” He sobbed, softly, sadly as he hung his head in shame as the faintest of white, unfusing lights began to enshroud him. “It’s what I deserve at this point…” 

“No, you don’t.” 

The fusion gasped as he suddenly read his own thoughts, his gem and birthmark both aglow as his other half finally said something to him. He led the way as well as he began wiping his tears, steadying both of them as he guided their shared form to stand once more. “I don’t want to break away from you,” he said aloud, his tone earnest and kind. “Our friendship means so much to me. You mean so much to me! And besides,” He turned his attention to Bill, who was clearly caught off guard by Stepper’s sudden change of demeanor, especially as the fusion stared him down brazenly. “I never leave my friends behind. When someone is in trouble, I help them, no matter what they’ve said or done. And that’s how I know-” His shield journal appeared above his lower arms at this, its pages blazing with bright, powerful light as he readied himself to get right back into the fray. “I am NOTHING like you!” 

Stepper didn’t even give Bill a chance to get a single word in edgewise out as he launched a series of fast-paced shields at the dream demon, several of which landed in full-force. The fusion didn’t hold anything back as he kept his attacks coming, hoping to somehow overwhelm Bill before he could pull any more twisted tricks on him. Sure enough, it seemed as though he might soon get a chance to do just that as he ended up forcing Bill over the edge of the platform they were both on completely. The dream demon crashed down into another one of the Quadrangle’s countless staircases while Stepper remained high above him, his journal hovering above his palm as he stood tall and firm and ready to fight together.

“Try whatever you want,” he said, his tone bold and unflinching as he met the bitter glare Bill was sending his way evenly. This time, it was easy to find the bravery to do so, bravery that had been easily found amidst the unshakable bond that he had been formed through, a bond that refused to be broken so easily. “But you can’t tear us apart!”

Despite the fusion’s brazen verve and steady determination, Bill wasn’t about to back down that quickly either. “Oh, you boys wanna BET?!” he practically screamed as he flew back up to Stepper’s level. He still towered over the fusion in size, but Stepper kept his wits about him as he called upon yet another series of shields to throw at a moment’s notice. “If you twerps won’t come undone the easy way, then I guess we’ll just have to do this THE HARD WAY!”

At this, Stepper let one of his shields fly, though Bill was quick to knock it away. However, as the fusion was distracted by prepping his next move, he failed to notice the dream demon implement one of his earlier tactics until it was too late. Instead, Stepper suddenly found himself yanked back hard as thick, thorny vines secured themselves around each of his wrists once more. They didn’t entangle him this time, though they did secure themselves around each of his limbs as they began to pull him back toward the center of the platform he was on. Stepper did his best to resist their heavy hold, though they refused to give, even as they eventually ended up dragging him down and restraining him against the ground. Even still, the fusion pulled against them as the vines essentially locked his back against the floor, more appearing in turn to further tie him down as Bill appeared floating high above him. 

“You just couldn’t make this simple for me, could ya, Rose Tree?” the dream demon asked, twirling his cane as he looked down at the fusion with disdain. “All I wanted was a nice, hearty helping of revenge, but you had to go and be stubborn. Why is that not surprising? Neither Pine Tree or Rosebud know when to quit. So why should I expect anything different out of their fusion?”

“T-that’s right,” Stepper retorted assertively, despite the rather vulnerable position he now found himself in. “We don’t know when to quit. And we won’t quit, not until we’ve found a way to stop you from hurting the people we care about once and for all!”

Bill instantly let loose a haughty laugh at this, his tone clearly mocking as he leaned against his cane and looked down at Stepper incredulously. “Stop me? YOU actually thought you could stop ME?! Give me a break, kid! Without all your fancy powers keeping you going, you would have been dead from the start! In fact…” Bill paused, repositioning his cane in a way the fusion didn’t quite understand, at least at first. “Why don’t we just nip that problem in the Pine Bud, if you catch my drift…?” Stepper didn’t answer, his eyes widening with sudden alarm as he realized the demon’s cane, awash in bright blue fire, was now hovering directly over him. 

Or rather, directly over his exposed gem.

“It’s a shame I gotta do this to ya, Rose Tree, really, it is!” Bill remarked easily, nonchalantly even, despite the horrific act he was about to commit. “Especially since I promised one of my favorite clients I’d hand that rock on your gut over to them in pristine, perfect, pretty condition. But, I’m sure they’ll understand if there’s a little collateral damage. After all, you know what they say: every deal has a loophole…” 

Stepper only had time to let out the smallest of horrified gasps before it happened. And when it did, it was so quick yet agonizingly slow, all at the same time. Because in an instant, Bill’s cane came down, its tip sharpened to a deadly point as it rushed right for the fusion’s gemstone. 

And, it struck it squarely, with a piercing, sickening crack. 

Shock. That was first, his mouth open, poised for a scream that never came. His back lurched upward involuntarily, the gem on his stomach pierced completely. Fortunately, the cane didn’t dig any deeper than its surface, but that was all it needed to do. For as it retracted away from him and left his gem behind, everything instantly got so much worse. 

Pain. That was what came next, so immense and so incredible that it was a wonder he didn’t fall apart completely from it. It washed over him in waves, each more horrific than the last. It blinded him, deafened him, chased away every thought, ever feeling, everything until there was nothing left at all but pain, pain, pain, pain. 

Cracks. They soon followed, spreading out across his skin in jagged, uneven, unruly pink lines. They glowed brightly against him, casting an inhuman, incomprehensible pallor upon his otherwise largely human appearance. Yet all the while, they soundly mimicked the very same sizable crack that had been so viciously torn across his gemstone, which itself was flashing in bright, erratic alarm. 

He didn’t dare try to move, his body in far too much anguish to even make the attempt if he wanted to. His thoughts were every bit as much of a mess as his body was, disjointed and jumbled and nonsensical as they clashed against each other violently. He lay in a haze, not even noticing as the vines finally pulled themselves away to free up his languished limbs. In fact, he didn’t even react at all as Bill teleported to hover, much smaller now, directly in front of his face. 

“Knock, knock! Earth to Rose Tree!” the demon quipped as cheerfully as ever, knocking a hand against the fusion’s already pounding head. “You still in there? You can’t die on me yet, that would ruin all the fun!”

Stepper didn’t answer, largely since he was completely incapable of doing so. Instead, he lay still, his breathing hoarse and shallow as tears began welling up in his eyes, which themselves were struggling to stay open at all as a bitter chill overtook his immobile body. His thoughts continued beating into each other, overlapping as they burst to life and burnt out almost simultaneously. None of them made any sort of sense, though a few did stand out against the empty void of madness he could feel himself slowly slipping into. 

Hurts. Heal. Have to heal. 

He let out a shuddering breath, prompted into motion by this thought, by the promise that this pain would and could come to an end in just a mere matter of seconds. Bill fortunately slipped out of his frame of vision, strangely allowing him to attempt to sit up. The effort alone was agonizing, his arms shaking violently and his head lolling down despite his best attempts at keeping it up. A small, sharp cough escaped him as he fully sat up, his body wracked by it as his lower hands curled themselves around his damaged gemstone in the hopes of shielding it from any further harm. One of his upper hands slowly drifted to his mouth, and he sloppily spit on it, though the bright red blood that came out along with it wasn’t lost on him. Still, he ignored it to move that hand down to his gemstone, lightly skimming it with his fingertips to let the supposedly healing liquid settle over it. And then, he waited. And waited. 

And waited. 

“W-what…?” he finally spoke, his voice soft and broken to the point that it sounded less like his own and more of that of his two halves. “Why… isn’t it…”

“Oh, did ya not know, Pine Bud?” Bill chimed in somewhere behind him. “Whenever a Gem gets all cracked up like yourself, their powers tend to go on the fritz. Looks like I was right before. Your healing spit really can’t fix everything…”

For what seemed like ages, the most Stepper could do was stare down at his gemstone and the wide, gaping rift torn across its surface in disbelief and despair. His breathing harshened, his body tensed, and as panic overtook him, he found himself unable to keep himself from falling into another hacking fit once more. He coughed into his hand this time, and when he finally was able to stop and pull it away, he wasn’t very surprised to find it covered in his own warm blood.

“Ohohoh, now isn’t this interesting!?” Bill remarked, apparently intrigued as he scaled his size down enough so he could take a casual seat atop the fusion’s hat. “I’ve seen plenty of space rocks get cracked in my time, but I’ve never seen it happen to one attached to a human before! Much less a mostly-human fusion! Isn’t this exciting? You really are a trailblazer, Rose Tree!”

Stepper still didn’t respond to Bill directly, largely since he couldn’t care less about what he was saying. Instead, he let out a loud, anguished scream, his upper arms wrapping tightly around himself as his lower set still gently cradled his damaged gem. And all the while, his thoughts continued rumbling, rattling, like a brutal thunderstorm wreaking havoc across his already ruined mind. 

Hurts! Can’t heal! Need to heal! Can’t! 

Can’t heal… Cracked… Broken…

Fade… fading… Die… Die? Dying…

“Still, you oughta consider yourself lucky, Pine Bud,” Bill continued, hardly caring about the light starting to fade from the fusion’s eyes as he coughed out yet another bout of blood. “Any other space rock would have shattered on the spot after taking a hit like that! I guess you’re pretty fortunate to be saddled with one of the toughest ones there is, Rose Tree.”

Can’t die… Stepper’s thoughts continued to consume him, beating him between a tide of hope and grief all at once. Home… Need to go home… Can’t go home… Lost… Trapped… Alone… With him…

The absolute misery that came along with such a horrific thought swiftly started to overwhelm the fusion, his sobs coming out in tight, anxious bursts. Certainly, he’d never be able to go home, not like this. He’d never be able to see their friends or family again, not that they even wanted to see him in the first place. He was going to die here, no doubt, a slow, agonizing painful end at the hands of a cruel, careless demon who was more than happy to watch that end play out in full. 

But maybe...

Trapped here… With each other… with you! Need… need to… save you… Need… to unfuse…

Another sharp cry escaped the fusion at this, particularly as a familiar white, unfusing light suddenly covered his form, with only the pink scars strewn across him shining through it. Bill drifted away from Stepper so he could observe with eager, sadistic delight as the fusion began to fall apart at the seams, just as he’d anticipated. Just as he’d planned. 

And yet… 

No! Can’t unfuse! No… please…. Need to unfuse… You’ll die… YOU’ll die! Stay together… Stay… like this… to save you…

Slowly but surely, the light began to fade from the fusion, his form still remaining intact, as largely broken and battered as that form currently was. Tears remained in his eyes, though this time, they carried a different emotion from despair entirely. Especially as his aching heart rang with confusion and determination alike. 

Why…? You know why… 

Despite his gem’s powers being severely limited thanks to the damage it had sustained, there was one thing it was still able to do. It flashed softly as his birthmark did the same, all of his focus going into repeating one single, simple statement that spoke volumes at a moment such as this. 

“Our friendship means so much to me! You mean so much to me!”

“Y-you… stayed with me…” Stepper said to himself, aloud this time. And even though his voice was weak and wavering, it was still filled with warmth and resolve to not let his other half suffer through this unbearable anguish alone. “S-so I’m staying with you…”

Despite the heavy crack torn across his gem, despite those cracks spreading out across his entire body, despite the pain still pervading his every sense, the fusion couldn’t help but smile, a few of his tears falling as he maintained his comforting embrace. Bill, however, was far from moved by his sheer determination, stubbornness even, to stay together. 

“Are you two serious right now?!” he asked hotly, his form flashing a bright, warning shade of angry red. “You know what’ll happen to both of you if you stay like this? You’ll DIE!” 

Stepper was surprisingly calm, even despite his poor condition, as he simply shook his head. “I-I… I’ll be fine…” he whispered, more to himself than to the demon. “We’ll be fine… a-as long as we’re… together…” 

“No, you WON’T!” Bill shouted back, completely livid as massive, deadly flames surrounded both of his hands. “All it would take is one more hit and you’re over, finished, through! SHATTERED!” 

The fusion paused, his thoughts slowly starting to become more focused as he looked up at the demon defiantly. “B-but… that’s not what you want…” he asked, his voice still shaking from the palpable pain coursing through him. Still, he chose to ignore that pain the best he could in the thought of turning the tide of this terrible situation in his favor. “M-my gem isn’t any good to you i-if it’s shattered… I-I bet your ‘client’ d-doesn’t want you h-handing them a bunch of b-broken shards… R-right?” 

For perhaps the first time ever, Bill seemed to be at a complete loss for words. His singular eye stared down at the fusion, wide and unreadable as he remained strangely silent for quite some time. All the while, Stepper returned his gaze evenly, hoping that calling the dream demon’s bluff would somehow work, though to what extent, he had no idea. 

When Bill finally did say something, his tone was surprisingly easygoing as his towering form diminished and his color changed back to its normal shade of yellow. “Well, gee, Pine Bud, you sure do have a swell point there. So instead of going to extremes, why don’t we try something a bit more… civil instead?”

In an instant, the entire Quadrangle of Qonfusion disappeared; either that or Bill had teleported them somewhere away from it. But what surprised Stepper even more was that the piercing pain tearing away at his entire form seemed to come to an abrupt, grinding halt. Instead, it was replaced by a baffling sense of numbness, though it was something the fusion couldn’t help but be grateful for, at least until he happened to glance down at his gemstone. By all accounts, the stone was still just as cracked as it had been before, the same pink cracks still deeply marring his skin as he looked over all four of his arms. And yet, those cracks brought him not a single trace of the agony he’d known only seconds ago, as his movements were free and uninhibited once more. 

“What…?” he asked, his voice singular once more as opposed to disjointed to that of his halves’ as it had previously been. “How did-”

“Feeling better, Rose Tree?” Bill chimed as he appeared before the confused fusion. “You should be! I went ahead and put a little momentary pause on all that unbearable agony you were probably going through. Mostly since I need you to actually be coherent for the little chat I want to have with you…”

“Chat?” Stepper eyed the dream demon distrustfully. “About what?”

“Boy, am I glad you asked!” With a snap of his fingers, Bill suddenly conjured up a stately desk for him to sit behind, essentially forcing Stepper to do the same as he magically pulled up a chair for him on its other side. As bewildered as the fusion was by this bizarre turn of events in general, Bill continued, his manner strangely calm and collected, a stark contrast to the violent fury he’d displayed just moments ago. “You see, Rose Tree, after all that hubbub, I just came up with a much easier way to smooth things over here. All we’d need to do is broker a little deal and-”

“No,” Stepper said immediately, hotly as his upper hands slammed down onto the desk. “If you think for one second that you can rope me into another one of your stupid deals, then you can just forget it. I would NEVER make another deal with you, not after-”

“Yeah, yeah, Pine Bud, we’re all more than well aware about just how much I ‘traumatized’ you before,” Bill rolled his eye as he reclined back into his seat. “But just hear me out. With that crack on your gut, the chances of you lasting long are pretty low, even if I don’t decide I just wanna wipe you outta existence out of sheer annoyance alone. Humans in particular don’t tend to do too well here‒most of the ones who’ve ever gotten stuck here in the ol’ N.R. either ended up starving to death or spiraling into insanity in a matter of days! And as fun as that would be to watch happen to you, Rose Tree, I think we can reach a compromise that might just be able to get you back home instead!”

“W-wait… before, you said you can’t get me back to our dimension,” Stepper remarked dismissively, though he couldn’t deny the brief bout of hope that filled him all the same. “...Can you?”

“As far as you know, I can,” Bill retorted easily. “See, even if I can’t open up one of those reality tears or go to your dimension from the Nightmare Realm myself, that doesn’t mean I can’t send things that are from that dimension back to it with a little bit of… concentration. And hey, you just so happen to fall under the category of things that are from your dimension, kid! And you’re super lucky too, Pine Bud, ‘cause I’m willing to offer you the bargain of a lifetime! A one-way ticket back to your own dimension, in exchange for one tiny, simple thing that’s so trivial and unimportant, I bet you won’t even notice that it’s gone!”

“Let me guess,” Stepper said dryly, knowing this sounded far too familiar for comfort. “My gem?”

“Nope! Not this time!” 

The fusion blinked, genuinely surprised at this as he made another uncertain, anxious assumption. “M-my body? You want to possess my--our body, don’t you?”

“Nah, I’m not much on taking fusions for a spin,” the demon said flippantly. “They’re always too much to contend with in the headspace. Takes all the fun out of possession, if you ask me!”

By now, Stepper was becoming more and more unsettled as he tried to think of what else he had that Bill could possibly want from him. But ultimately, he couldn’t come up with anything. At least not anything that the demon hadn’t tried to or already had taken from him in the past. “S-so… what do you want then?”

If the dream demon could have smiled, he certainly would have been now as he leaned in across the desk toward the uneasy fusion before him. “What I want is something only you can give me, Rose Tree…” he began darkly, ominously even. “And that something is... that fancy-schmancy journal of yours!”

As Bill’s tone turned light and chipper once more, Stepper balked, dumbfounded as he tried to make sense of this unexpected twist. “My… my shield journal?” he asked, one of his lower hands absently drifting down toward his gem, though he made no move to summon the weapon. “What would… why would you want that?”

“Aw, what? It’s a rare read, one of a kind, really!” Bill explained, conjuring up an illusion of a book in question in the middle of the desk. “Plus, it just so happens to be filled with all sorts of juicy tidbits about two of my favorite twerps in the entire multiverse. Can ya really blame me for wanting a copy of my own?”

“That’s not why you want it, and both you and I know that,” Stepper scoffed harshly. “Everything that’s in my journal, I’m sure you already know. You do make it your mission to poke around in other peoples’ business all the time, after all. So stop lying for a change and tell me why you’re really after it.”

“Come on, Pine Bud, you know my talent for lying is one of my best qualities!” the dream demon taunted playfully. “But fine, if you really want the boring old truth, here it is: I just wanna see you lose your prized, precious weapon for good.”

“W-wait…” Stepper paused, a heavy wave of dread washing over him. “S-so… if I give my journal to you then… then I won’t-”

“Nope! You won’t be able to summon it ever again!” Bill confirmed mirthfully. “No more special shield tossing for you, Rose Tree! Guess that would make you a fusion without a weapon, a fundamentally useless one at that! Then again, you wouldn’t be the only one considering Sword Bud is a thing. Still, if you wanna get back home, then all you gotta do is kiss that journal goodbye. Forever! Sounds like a small price to pay to see your friends and family again and NOT die a slow, painful death in a literal nightmare dimension, dontcha think?”

Stepper faltered, unsure of what to say to this awful proposal and everything it entailed. “I… I need time to think…” he muttered, more to himself than to Bill. 

“Hey, take all the time you want, Pine Bud!” Bill surprisingly agreed, spinning around in his chair to give the fusion some “privacy”. “Just keep in mind, time’s not something you really have on your side anymore, not with that crack on your gem set to tear you apart at any given second!”

Stepper sighed, glaring in the demon’s direction disdainfully before stealing a glance down at his own aforementioned gemstone. The crack torn across it was just as prominent and damming as ever, looking so misplaced and wrong against something that was so familiar and fond to him. “What do we do…?” he whispered to himself, lightly tracing a finger over the crevice on the stone. “We can’t trust him, you know we can’t! I do know, but… what other choice do we have? W-we… we’ll keep fighting him! We’ve lasted against him this long, we can-” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “We can what? We’re cracked! We won’t last long like this, even if we do stay together… We can’t heal ourselves… But… m-maybe… if we go home… The Gems might be able to find a way to help us.”

He rubbed his temples, frustrated and distraught at the impossible position he’d found himself in. “B-but… our journal,” he countered morosely. “Never being able to summon it again is… I know, I don’t like it either. Our journal is one of my favorite things about us. But… you’re more important to me than any book… A-and I’d rather lose that book forever then lose you forever…” For what felt like the millionth time since he’d been pulled into the Nightmare Realm, he could feel tears finding a place in his eyes once more as his upper arms held onto him lightly. “...Same here…” he said softly, yet sadly all the same. “So… we’re doing this…? I don’t want to, but… if we don’t have any other choice…”

“You DON’T!” Bill suddenly interrupted, spinning back around to face the fusion. “So, since your mind’s all made up, let’s get to summoning that journal for the last time so we can really seal this deal, huh?”

Stepper was quick to meet the demon’s callous remarks with a stern glare, wanting to make sure that he knew exactly what he was getting himself into here. “The only thing you want is my shield journal,” he began firmly. “That’s it, right? Nothing more along with it? No strings attached?”

“None at all, Rose Tree!” Bill assured evenly, extending a blue flame-covered hand for him to shake. “All you gotta do is fork over that journal and you’ll be home before you know it! I promise.”

“Tch, as if your promises ever even mean anything,” Stepper deadpanned crossly. “But… if all I stand to lose is my shield journal for a chance to go home and get as far away from you as possible, then…” He sighed, already regretting this decision and already anticipating that it would go horribly wrong somehow. But even then, he thought, whatever was about to happen had to be at least somewhat better than the alternative of being trapped here with Bill forever. “I’ll take it.”

With this, Stepper solidly shook the dream demon’s flame-engulfed hand, essentially sealing both the deal and his own fate, whatever that fate without his journal was about to be. “Great!” Bill quipped excitedly as he pulled his hand away. “I knew we’d be able to work something out, Pine Bud. Now… pay up.”

“...C-can I even summon my journal like this…?” Stepper wondered, nervously glancing down at his damaged gem once more. “I can’t heal, so-”

“Yeesh, kid, you worry too much!” Bill rebuffed impatiently. “You’re cracked, not shattered! Some of your powers are still bound to work. Just give it a try and see!”

Stepper scowled at the dream demon, but even so, he did as he said, positioning his lower set of hands just below his gem. He took in a deep, steadying breath, closing his eyes in the hopes that this would still somehow work. And though it took a moment of deep concentration, sure enough it did, as his gem, even as cracked as it currently was, began to take on a gentle, familiar sort of glow. From that glow, his shield journal emerged, though from the very start it was glitching in and out of existence in reaction to the damage he had sustained. Unable to float on its own, the book fell out of the air, though fortunately he managed to narrowly catch it in his lower set of arms. 

As he pulled it up closer to him, Stepper couldn’t help but frown, even as the journal began to stabilize in his grip. Though it had taken him time to learn to appreciate his weapon when he’d first fused, by now, he’d come to realize just how special and unique his shield journal really was. It was powerful, it was versatile, but even more than that, it was reflective of him, of his halves and who they were, both together and apart. And yet, here he was, ready to give it all away without a chance at ever getting it back. It was a heartbreaking decision, but a necessary one. One that both of his halves knew they had to make if they ever hoped to save each other. 

“Alright, Rose Tree,” Bill remarked, already extending a hand out to retrieve the book. “Hand it over.”

Stepper sighed, resigning himself to that decision as he pulled his sights away from the journal to stare Bill down brazenly. And, with his movements slow and steady, the fusion lifted his shield journal up, offering it to the dream demon as he prepared to part ways with it permanently. 

Without skipping a single beat, Bill swiftly snatched the journal away from Stepper. The effect was immediate, for as soon as the shield journal left his hands, the fusion took in a sharp gasp, his former agony returning in full force as his gem, birthmark, and cracks strewn across his skin all flashed a vibrant, garish pink. As that flash died down every bit as quickly, his eyes began to roll back in his head, one of his hands involuntarily reaching out toward the journal that Bill had already taken away from him. But that hand fell away as the fusion drifted off into a deep, unconscious void, lost to his pain and perhaps, to something else entirely. 

“Well, that takes care of that!” Bill concluded brightly, sending the fusion’s journal away with a mere snap of his fingers. “Now, all we need is a…” At that exact moment, the Nightmare Realm itself rippled with a sudden, forign energy, one that tore open a rift in the dimension’s already chaotic plane. A rift that happened to form into a portal not too far away from where the dream demon happened to be floating. “Aha! Perfect timing!” 

Bill quickly pulled Stepper’s limp, listless form toward the newly-created portal, one that, sure enough, led right to the very dimension the fusion was from. “Looks like you’re getting your ticket home after all, Rose Tree!” the dream demon quipped, shaking the unconscious fusion roughly. “Ohoho!” Bill’s interest peaked as he stole another brief glance through the portal beside him. “And you’ll even get your own welcoming party too! How nice!”

This ‘welcoming party’ was, in truth, more of a search party, one composed of the Gems and Mabel as they all frantically combed through the woods for none other than Steven and Dipper themselves. It was a search that had been ongoing for quite some time now, and after several restless nights of the boys’ mysterious absence, stress and exhaustion was weighing heavily upon them all as their relatively fruitless effort continued. 

“I just don’t understand!” Pearl huffed, exasperated as she peered around yet another tree. “How did they just… completely disappear without a trace?! Nothing about this makes any sense!”

“You sure your future vision hasn’t seen anything about where they’re at, G?” Amethyst asked, looking to Garnet almost pleadingly. 

The Gem leader took pause at this, adjusting her shades before letting out a disappointed sigh. “No,” she reported tiredly. “Nothing.”

“B-But they’ve been gone for three days now!” Mabel explained, her tone deeply fretful. The growing bags under her eyes were telling of the fact that she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep since the boys had vanished, and by all accounts, she had no intentions of even trying to get any until they were safe and found. “Steven and Dipper wouldn’t just… leave without telling anyone! Something must have happened to them! We’ve gotta find them, please!”

“Don’t worry,” Garnet assured, placing a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder. “We’re not going to stop looking until we do. No matter how far we have to go, we’ll-”

“Actually, Fuse Box, you won’t have to go that far to find ‘em…”

The entire group let out a shared, startled gasp upon hearing this all-too familiar voice echo through the nearby forest. It instantly drew their attention to the surprising portal torn near a tree just a ways ahead of them, and floating within the void it contained was none other than Bill Cipher himself. 

“Y-you!” Pearl shouted as her, Garnet, and Amethyst all swiftly summoned their weapons. “What are you doing here?!”

“Yeah, get lost, chump!” Amethyst yelled just as bitterly, ready to lash out with her whip at a moment’s notice. 

“We have no time to deal with you right now, Bill,” Garnet added rigidly, her gauntlets curled into tight fists. “We have something much more important we need to take care of.”

“Oh really?” the demon retorted casually. “You mean you don’t have any time… for him?”

Another heavy round of shock, one even stronger and piercing than the last, ran through the group as Bill suddenly hoisted a certain, unconscious four-armed figure up for them all to see. “S-Stepper!” Mabel cried, tears already springing up in her eyes. She didn’t hesitate to try to rush to him, though Amethyst made sure to hold her back just before she could. “W-what is he… h-how did he get-”

“How’d he get here? To the cozy little corner of the multiverse I call home? Great question, Shooting Star!” Bill piped up. “Ya see, poor Pine Tree and Rosebud here tumbled through a randomly-occurring interdimensional tear, just like this one right here! Ohoho boy, if you all could have only SEEN the look of sheer terror on their faces when they realized where they were! What a pair of spineless little-”

“Quiet!” Pearl snapped hotly, angrily tossing her spear, which struck the tree just above where the portal hung. “What did you do to them, you monster?!”

“I didn’t do much of anything to them,” the demon remarked with faux innocence. “Well, aside from put them in their place for being dumb enough to think they could stand up to me, of course. But I’ve had my fun with Rose Tree here, and better yet, I’ve gotten what I wanted outta him, so I think I’ll just do you all a solid and toss him back over to you. Free of charge!”

“W-what… what do you mean you got what you wanted out of him…?” Mabel asked, frightened by the sheer vagueness of that statement alone. 

“Wouldn’t YOU like to know, kid,” Bill scoffed, rolling his eye. “Still, I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough. Or not. Doesn’t really matter to me if you do either way. Anyway here, take your empty-headed Pine Bud back.” Without much warning at all, the demon suddenly threw Stepper forward, sending him tumbling through the portal and back into his own dimension with little effort or care at all. Though Amethyst, Pearl, and Mabel all gasped in shared surprise at his sudden return, Garnet was the first to react, rushing in to catch the comatose fusion before he could hit the ground. 

“Cipher!” the Gem leader shouted furiously as she glared up at the portal before her. 

“Good to see you all again too!” Bill replied, offering the group a cheerful wave as said portal began to seal itself back up. “I have a feeling it won’t be long before the next time we meet up. Maybe we’ll do lunch! But until then, remember: I’ll be WATCHING you!” 

The dream demon let out another insane, sadistic laugh that echoed through the woods even after the portal itself was gone. Amethyst and Pearl leapt forward in an attempt to keep it from closing so they could properly attack Bill, but their chance was gone before they could even try it. 

“Ugh! I hate that guy!” Amethyst groaned, severely annoyed as her whip disappeared. 

“It’s safe to say we all do by this point…” Pearl agreed just as disdainfully. “B-but, let’s look on the bright side: at least we… ‘found’ Steven and Dipper!”

A sudden gasp from Garnet cut through this small bout of relief entirely as she got a chance to properly look over the limp fusion lying in her arms. “N-no…” she whispered, her visor disappearing to reveal the tears welling up in all three of her eyes. 

“G-Garnet….?” Mabel took a cautious step forward. “I-is… is he ok?”

By now, Pearl and Amethyst had caught onto what had Garnet so distraught, and likewise, their panic was just as palpable. The white Gem collapsed to her knees, tears finding a place in her eyes as well as she moved a trembling hand to cover her mouth. The purple Gem was absolutely shaken, though she still managed to rush over to Mabel, hoping to pull her away before she could see what had truly become of her brother and best friend. 

“Uh, h-hey, Mabel!” she exclaimed, throwing on a forced smile as she turned the girl around. “Why don’t we, um… h-head back to the shack a-and tell Stan and Ford the good news?”

“No!” Mabel protested, pulling herself away. “I-I want to see him!” None of the Gems were really able to stop her as she rushed to Stepper’s side, though the moment she caught sight of his gem, she practically fell ill. “H-his… his gem…” she began, a sob slipping out as she knelt down beside him. “I-it’s…”

“Cracked…” Garnet finished, her tone awash in grief. 

“AUGH!” Amethyst suddenly shouted, absolutely infuriated as she slammed her fist against the nearest tree. “He did this to them, that stupid triangle piece of-”

“AMETHYST!” Pearl cut her off just in time. 

Meanwhile, Mabel placed a gentle, shaking hand against the unconscious fusion’s arm, noticing the jagged pink lines torn across it, only adding to just how disheveled and damaged he looked overall between his torn and tattered clothes and countless scratches and scrapes. “D-Dipper… Steven…” she whispered, her heart aching as she noticed the traces of pain in his otherwise empty expression. “S-Stepper…”

At this, the fusion suddenly began to stir, much to everyone’s surprise, especially as he let out a soft, exhausted groan. “M-Mabel…?” he spoke, his voice his own yet still so broken in an entirely different way all the same. 

“Stepper!” Mabel and the Gems all exclaimed in unison as they began to crowd around him. At least until Garnet put a swift stop to it. 

“Give him some space,” she ordered her teammates, looking down at the fusion in her arms earnestly as he addressed her. 

“G-Garnet… i-is… is that… you?” he asked, clearly agonized by the effort alone as he remained limp in her hold. 

“Yes,” Garnet couldn’t help but smile, overwhelmed with relief to see that he was still alive at all after what he’d been through. “Stepper, y-you… your gem is badly damaged. But don’t worry. We’re going to take care of you.”

Stepper didn’t respond, his eyes bleary as he tried and failed to focus on the Gem leader. His thoughts were all a distant haze, enshrouded by the immense, unending pain that he felt like he had been drowning in for ages now. So instead, he let his eyes slowly slip shut once more, content to let Mabel and the Gems do whatever they could to help, even if he didn’t know how he’d ended up among them to begin with. 

“C-can’t he just heal himself?!” Mabel asked, frantic. “Stepper, just use your healing powers on your gem and-”

“M-Mabel, he’s… cra--damaged,” Pearl interjected, shuddering even as she spoke the horrific word. “His powers probably aren’t working right. W-well have to help him some other way.”

“We’ll take him to Rose’s fountain,” Garnet concluded, her tone firm as her shades appeared once more. Slowly and carefully, she stood with Stepper still in her arms, carrying his languid form as comfortably as she could. “It’s waters should be able to fix his gem. In the meantime, Amethyst, go get Stan and Ford and bring them there. They need to know what happened to Dipper.”

“Right,” Amethyst nodded, not even hesitating to turn and rush back through the forest toward the shack. At the same time, Garnet, Pearl, and Mabel wasted no time in setting off as well, marching swiftly through the woods to get back to the temple as fast as possible. Despite Garnet’s steady pace, Mabel did her best to keep up with her, if only so she could keep a comforting hold on one of Stepper’s lower hands all the while. 

“I-it’s ok, Ste-bro,” she whispered to him tearfully, trying to muster a smile even if he couldn’t currently see it. “You’re gonna be o-ok… We’ll fix you right up, you’ll see. I-I promise.”

For his part, Stepper could barely even hear her, much less the anxious conversation stirring up between Garnet and Pearl along the way. He only briefly caught bits and pieces of it; the word “cracked” in particular came up over and over again, though given his current condition that was hardly surprising. Largely, Stepper spent the bulk of their brisk trip back to the temple wavering in and out of consciousness, steeped in dull, familiar agony all the while. Yet strangely, he happened to find some comfort amidst that agony: the brief, blurry flashes of war, sunlight sparkling through the trees high above him, the secure, safe hold Garnet had on him as she held him close in a protective carry, the soft, gentle grip Mabel made sure to keep his hand within, one that he wished he could return, even if he didn’t have the strength for it. 

After what seemed like years, the group finally burst into the temple, making a beeline for the warp pad. Stepper didn’t register its activation, nor was he aware for anything at all until they arrived at a familiar, serene setting. 

The air around Rose’s iconic fountain was always warm and sweet, smelling of the pink blossoms that flourished all around it. That beauty was lost on the group as they ran toward it however, their purpose grim and their hopes high that its waters could somehow work another miracle, just as it had so many before. There was no deliberation as Garnet reached the fountain first, repositioning Stepper before she gently, carefully lowered him down into its sparkling, rejuvenating water, allowing him to sink into it until it covered his cracked gemstone completely. 

For a moment, the most any of them could do was wait. The fountain’s waters grew still, the fusion floating within them just as still too, at least until a warm, radiant light began to surround him. Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst all watched with wide, wondering eyes as that light became practically blinding, and even still they were kept waiting as it slowly faded away. At least until Stepper splashed up out of the fountain’s waters with a startled, heavy gasp. 

“Stepper!” Mabel cried, rushing for him immediately. Before the fusion even had time to properly orient himself, she barreled into him, knocking him back into the water with a tight, elated hug. “I-I’m so glad you’re ok! Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“M-Mabel,” Stepper couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he returned her embrace. “I’m glad to see you too.”

“Oh, thank goodness, you’re alright!” Pearl chimed in as her and Garnet remained at the edge of the fountain. “You’re-” She stopped short, her relief whiplashing right back into alarm as Stepper began to climb out of the fountain himself. “I-it… it can’t be… Y-you… you’re gem i-is still…”

Stepper’s stunned gasp filled in the blanks as he looked down to the gemstone, only to find that, sure enough, it was every bit as cracked as it had been before. And even more than that, it was strangely duller somehow, its usual bright pink muted to a very noticeable degree. While most of the cracks scarring his skin had disappeared, a few still remained, mostly all congregated around the gemstone itself as they retained the same sort of dull pink pallor. “W-what…?” he asked, quite frightened as one of his lower arms reached for the damaged stone. “B-but how…?”

“T-this should have worked!” Mabel exclaimed, distraught as she took in the sight of the stone herself. “It should have healed you! Why didn’t it work!?”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected, her tone surprisingly steady as she approached the fusion. “Your gem is still cracked, but you appear to be fine. Tell us you’re feeling.”

“Um, w-well… I-I feel fine now,” Stepper shrugged, though his tone was honest all the same. And it was true, all of the pain that had prevailed his senses disappeared the moment his gem so much as touched the fountain’s healing waters. “But… my gem… w-what happened to it…?”

Garnet, Pearl, and Mabel exchanged a confused, concerned glance at this, though the white Gem was ultimately the one to speak up to it. “Y-you mean… you don’t remember?”

Stepper shook his head, his brow furrowing in thought as he tried to think about how his gem might have been so severely damaged, though in the end, nothing came to him. “That’s… troubling…” Garnet remarked, though she didn’t bother explaining any further. At least not at the moment. “Still, even if you feel fine, Stepper, you should unfuse so we can see how each of you are doing on your own.”

Now it was Stepper’s turn to be confused as he looked to the Gem leader as if what she’d just said was the most baffling thing he’d ever heard. Which, at least to him, it was. “Unfuse?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Uh, you know, unfuse?” Mabel repeated with a ghost of a smile. “As much as we love having you around, Stepper, we should probably check on Steven and Dipper too.”

A beat of silence that felt like it lasted ages passed at this, with only the fountain’s flowing water filling it in. And all the while, Stepper’s expression was awash in bewilderment, his eyes wide and unknowing as he voiced a simple question that sent shockwaves out the moment it was asked. 

“Who?”

Next: 

[hadestownmodern]

First Doctor’s Appointment

I screamed about our new icon for about three hours on Facetime the other night, so it’s only fair that it comes with its own soft fic. Someone asked what happened at the first doctor’s appointment? This is it. 

-Danielle

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              Eurydice looks up at the tall building, nothing special compared to the hundreds of other skyscrapers surrounding it. She opens the crinkled paper in her hand, folded and unfolded, shoved in her pocket with mitten-clad hands. With shaking hands she reads the address over again, comparing it to the one embossed on the window-they’re in the right place. Whether Eurydice is ready to address this, it’s happening now.

              From beside her Orpheus wraps his arm around her waist, kisses her forehead as they stand waiting outside. They’re half an hour early but the air is bitter, winter turning the skies grey and the atmosphere sharp. He tugs his own scarf off and wraps it around her neck, lingering with his hands on her shoulders. Eurydice, hidden beneath one of his knit beanies and an oversized coat, looks more her age than any day he’s seen her. The wall he’d seen and broken-the maturity of raising herself, of guarding her emotions-has shaken and left cracks in the unease of her stance, the pause of her feet outside of the building. The fear reaches to her eyes, a dark that matches the sharp grey, the downturn of the post-holiday season, the reality of what’s about to happen.

              “It’ll be okay,” he says, partially to himself. He’s frightened, too; they’re young, both still in school, working and trying to keep themselves afloat. Everything is new here, although neither feels the newness of the relationship in its entirety. In the frigid winter air, with Orpheus keeping the bridge of his nose against Eurydice’s forehead, the stillness is exactly what they need.

              It’s Eurydice who initiates movement-pulls back from Orpheus only slightly, just enough to wrap both of her arms around his. Looking down he can see the pull of her breath, deep and slow, before it lets its soft billowing warmth into the air. It’s not much, but it’s enough; Orpheus follows as she nods and makes way to the building, following Persephone’s carefully written instruction to the front desk. Her name comes out in a confidence riddled with a well-hidden waver in her voice, just enough for Orpheus to take note of.

              It isn’t until they’re directed to a tiny room down two separate hallways-until the nurse leaves them to wait for the doctor-that Eurydice’s exterior truly begins to crack. She sits with her feet kicking the side of the bed, arms folded neatly in her lap. There’s a wall of pamphlets, titles about birth control and thinking about your options that have her looking away. Eurydice doesn’t want an option; what she wants is to feel less fear.

              The absence of control is strong in this moment; it plays games within her head, brings her forcefully back to moments where she’d had none at all-the loss of her mother, the men that had tried again and again to tell her that she was useless. Their voices ring in her mind, the pictures of herself as a child; unsteady, unsure, unsupported. There is a split second where she sees that-paints a horrid picture of her future, alone with this baby and back in the ramshackle apartment with its sketchy neighborhood and barely-lockable door. The mere possibility of this walking nightmare sends a numb sort of tingling through her head, where it rests in the mask of her face and multiplies, trickles down through arms and legs she can no longer move. The room is silent-her head begins to spin with the weight on her chest, pushing down hard with its own insecurities.

              You shouldn’t be here. You’re irresponsible. You’re bringing a child into this world and you barely raised yourself. You can’t do it. You don’t deserve this.

              Orpheus’s hand finds hers just in time, settles itself in her lap atop her own. Wordlessly, he stands beside her for a moment-just long enough to gauge the change in her mannerisms, the way her eyes shift from glazed to upset and back again.

              “What can I do?” His voice is soft and tender, attempting to break through. It takes a moment to formulate a response, words tumbling with the thoughts that try and linger, the thoughts she’s trying to push away-to push Orpheus away, too. He stays beside her, keeps his hand on hers. He is patient; understanding. Eurydice looks up at him, pats the space next to her on the examination bed. Eurydice rests her head on his shoulder when he sits, shifts closer to him and keeps his hand tightly wrapped between hers.

              “I’m excited,” she’s breathless, in a way. Apologetic. She looks up at Orpheus through eyes that tear through him, exhaustion and fear and nerves all bundled around the love she radiates toward him, the love she tries so hard to push past everything else. “I’m sorry, I just. I am excited. I want you to know that.”

              “It’s okay. It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too.” A wave of relief washes over her, and she keeps herself tucked close to him as she brings her attention to the wall of pamphlets again. Something about Orpheus, who’d exceeded every one of her expectations of men, who’d told her he’d loved her too soon, asked her to marry him too soon…something about the most optimistic person she knows showing his own fears brings an unexpected comfort to Eurydice.

              Making the decision to keep this baby hadn’t been easy; how simple it would have been, back before Orpheus, to let go. She hadn’t wanted to be a mother, hadn’t envisioned herself as the type to have maternal instinct, to be strong enough to raise a child after raising herself. When she’d read the test-when she’d cried, thought about her future and her schooling and everything she had worked toward, she felt defeated. She thought she’d known the answer. And then things changed; holding the test she thought of Orpheus, who liked to find her between classes and kiss her forehead, bring her food so she remembered to eat within her busy schedule. She’d thought of disappointing him, but also of the possibility that things just might work out. She thought of Orpheus with Junie, all the adoration in the universe settled into his eyes, his instinct far more present than her own. Eurydice thought of him with their own baby, that just maybe he’d find excitement in it all-that he’d look at their baby the same way. The optimist and the girl who’d been beaten down most of her life; it had made her laugh. Then, he’d been excited. He’d wrapped her in his arms, asked her time and time again if she was serious; not in a way of anger, or disappointment, but of joy. And when he’d told her they’d find a way-that everything would be okay-it was hard to disagree. It still is.

              The doctor comes in and Orpheus finds his own seat, keeping hold of one of Eurydice’s hands as he talks her through the basics, reminding her of her options. All she can do is nod, understanding. A part of Orpheus thinks that maybe, right there, she’ll change her mind. They’re young-she’s anxious. But she smiles at him anyway, a shaky turn of her lips, before asking if they can see their baby.

              There isn’t much to see yet; the doctor points to the screen, explaining exactly what the grainy blur of blacks and whites and greys is attempting to show. Neither cares that the picture is unclear-that they’ll laugh later over where their baby’s head might be. In the moment, there is only a stunned sort of silence in the air between them as they stare at the monitor. Eurydice feels the squeeze of Orpheus’s larger hand within her own as the gentle thrumming, rhythmic and wave-like, fills the room with the sound Eurydice had only ever heard on television or in movies.

              “There’s your baby,” The words wash over Eurydice as a true call to reality-to the fact that this is very real, tangible. She’d recognized the differences within her own body, but hadn’t really felt the distinctive, instant connection that she’d read about on parenting blogs while fueled with her own anxiety. Looking at the tiny little bean shape on the monitor, she wishes she could hold on to this feeling forever. Her heart melts, a gentle squeeze, pulling her toward what had been before nothing more than an alien sort of feeling. And maybe it still feels that way, when she attempts to connect the picture on the screen to what’s happening inside of her own body. But Orpheus kisses her head, wraps an arm around her and begins asking the doctor questions from a paper list, questions they’d written together the night before to help quell her own doubts.

              They walk from the lobby of the office in a peaceful sort of silence; Orpheus with his hand around her waist, Eurydice clutching the print-outs of their baby’s first pictures in hands that refuse to let them go. It’s difficult to believe that this isn’t all just a dream-that she’s made it out of her hell-bound childhood, that the man by her side is someone that’s excited and happy, who loves her in such a soft and tender way and without condition. The pictures keep her grounded, tether her to the present moment and to the future that will come.

              “This is crazy,” she laughs to herself. They’ve stopped in the lobby of the building, Eurydice staring back down at the grainy pictures in awestruck wonder. “This is insane.”

              Orpheus lets his gaze truly examine her for the first time, at first deciphering her words as those of negativity; doubt or disappointment or a sudden change of heart. The smile that he captures instead-the widening of her big doe eyes, the shimmering of welled-up emotion…looking at Eurydice is like looking through his own soul and finding everything he’d ever wanted, everything he didn’t know he needed wrapped up in one beautiful, intelligent, wonderous human being.  He can hardly believe that she’s real, that she said yes to the instant, very strong pull of his emotions-that she wears her tiny little engagement ring with pride, holds his arm and presses herself close to him whenever she can. He can hardly believe that any of this is real, and so he gives himself proof;

              “What are you doing?” She asks as he holds his phone in the air, the rolling numbers of a recording counting up in the corner of their faces.

              “It’s for us, I just…I want to remember. You said you don’t have any home videos, and not a lot of pictures, so…” He turns to the camera, Eurydice laughing as he attempts to adjust the frame to fit them both. Then, his lips turn in a tender sort of smile, his voice soft and low.

              “We just got out of the doctor’s office after seeing you for the first time…you’re just a picture now, and to be honest we can’t even really tell exactly what’s going on in it. But it’s still beautiful, and amazing, and…”

              “Crazy.” Eurydice cuts in, her joy and anticipation coming through in the airy tone of her voice. Orpheus warms at the feeling of her body leaned against his, her head on his chest and her laughter reverberating against him. “It’s crazy, and it makes me feel all kinds of things all at the same time. But the important thing is that we love you, baby. We may not seem like we’re ready for all of this but we’ll get there, I promise.”

              “We love you,” Orpheus turns his head to kiss Eurydice, presses his lips against her forehead and listens to the sound of her giggling-the release of all of her anxiety, all of her doubt. Still at his side, she holds the treasured pictures up to the camera, an uncontrollable smile lifting her flushed cheeks and keeping them there.

              “We can’t wait to meet you.”