#you lack an overview of the whole

[dearweirdme]

[sweetlyskz]

Emerald Gem||Chapter Five

Chapter one|Chapter two|Chapter three|Chapter four|Chapter five|Chapter six|Chapter seven|Chapter eight||Chapter nine|Chapter ten (finale!)|

Pairing: Hybrid!OT7 x fem!reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one the talk to but the pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stable upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Unedited

"How much longer do we have to keep walking?"

The group was extremely sick and exhausted, walking miles and miles along the forest. When Jimin had no more energy left, the youngest carried him on his back. The pack leader was fearful of the government coming to find them, so during the day they walked nonstop. And when the sun would finally rest, they would rest in the nearest cave or by the tallest tree.

"Until we make it to some water", Joon claimed, ears perked to listen for the closest stream. "I can hear it. We're almost there."

"We wouldn't have had to run, y'know..." Jimin was absentmindedly whispering his thoughts, delirious from lack of sleep.

"I miss her", Tae whined. "And I miss the food, and the comfy bed, and the little chickens..."

Namjoon ignored their complaints, keeping the same pace. He was just as sick and tired as they were, but his love for his pack kept him strong. Now matter how much they tried to convince him to stay, it didn't work. But they couldn't blame him- Namjoon has been burned before.

And he wasn't gonna let it happen again.

Justin didn't like taking the bus. The older kids always made fun of him. Plus, his school was only a couple of minutes away from home if he took the shortcut. So everyday afterschool he would hop the fence behind the school and take left and right turns through the alleyways to get home.

Until one day where he met a little wolf hybrid. Justin had stumbled upon the little guy next to a dumpster in the alley. He was frail and weak looking. His short was torn, his pants were jagged, and the soles of his feet were black.

"Hey little guy", Justin whispered, slowly walking up to the wolf as to not startle him. However it did quite the opposite.

"Please!" He screamed. "I'll go but please don't hurt me!"

With that, Justin backed away. "I'm not gonna hurt you- promise!" The hybrid stood on his feet with haste, getting ready to make a fast exit.

But Justin didn't wanna let him go.

"Are you lost? Do you need some help?" That's when he realized Justin wasn't coming for him- he probably didn't even know who he was.

"N-no. Im f-fine", he whispered, making his way to the kind human who offered to help him. "Just please don't tell anyone I'm here-please." He got down on his knees and pleaded.

"I won't, I swear. But, you can't stay here. Whoever you're hiding from will find you as easily as I did."

The hybrid thought for a second, pondering over his next moves. He's probably been on the run his whole life. His street smarts are probably beyond compare. At least, that's what Justin thought.

"I have nowhere to go..." He whispered. "My family... they're dead. They're all dead- and I'm alone."

It was like looking in a mirror. Justin had found someone just like him. Parentless, scared, afraid. He had a feeling he could help. "You can come stay with me for a while", he offered.

And just like that- he found himself stepping into Justins small apartment. It was cramped, but it's all Justin could afford so he made it work. They lived together for month before Justin finally asked what his name was.

"Namjoon", he replied. "My name is Kim Namjoon, and I'm wanted for murder."

***

Some of the food in your fridge had spoiled. Just to prevent from wasting you walked miles away to the nearest neighbor and gave them all of your leftovers. It been a couple weeks since the guys had left, and you were feeling lost-empty. You knew who they were. You knew what people called him. You knew they were wanted by the government, but it didn't stop you from taking them in.

And even though they hadn't stayed long, it was hard to imagine what life was like without them- especially when you had already imagined a life with them.

When it was time to rest your head, you would walk by their rooms and whisper goodnight. But even though no one was there, the ghost of them always replied back, "goodnight, sweet dreams."

Every now and then you swear you hear laughing downstairs, the sound of Hoseok rolling around in the grassy field, or even the sound of Taehyung flipping the page of a good book. Every now and then, while making dinner, you feel a presence creep up behind you asking "Can I just have one bite? How will I know if it's good if I don't try it?" Jungkook loved to sneak bits of supper before it was ready.

The feeling made you queasy, and it brought tears to your eyes. It made you anxious, so you watched the new every night in hopes that they hadn't been caught. Because, even though they didn't want to stay with you, you sure as hell weren't going to let the researchers have them.

You had already made that mistake once before.

Your birthday party was absolutely amazing! Your friends were there, all of your family came. Even the gifts were memorable. However, something was missing. Your nine year old self couldn't put your finger on it, but something seemed off about that day. It felt as though you were at someone else's birthday party, like the party wasn't for you.

If wasn't until you got older that you realized that it was true- it wasn't technically your birthday party. It was your birthday- that part it true. However, the party was your father's. It was your father's friends, it was their children. They were never your friends. No one would even notice if you weren't there.

So you left.

By your house was a lake, a peaceful lake where all you could hear was the wind blowing through the trees. That's where you snuck off to that night. That's where you met Mina. She was a wolf- the most beautiful wolf you might ever have seen (the only wolf at that time). Her fur was pure white with specks of gray, and her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. One might've been afraid of her, but you certainly were not. She could tell.

"You come here often, Don't you?" The wolf could speak. For some reason, that didn't scare you either. "From the trees, I notice you come hear to wipe your tears. What's bothering you?"

"I'm alone", you whispered, audibly enough for her to hear. "I don't think I'm supposed to exist. All the signs point against it." You laid in the grass, picking piece to fiddle with. Telling your secrets to a total stranger wasn't the best option. But for you, it was the only option.

"Don't speak such words", she scolded. "Close your eyes. I wanna show you a secret."

You obeyed, shutting your eyes as tight as you could. Out of nowhere, great winds blew and the ground shook.

"Now, open."

She was gone. She vanished, right in front of you. The wolf had vanished, and what replaced it was even more beautiful. Her hair was silver. Her eyes were green. She clothed her self in leaves- fitted like a dress.

"Happy birthday, pup", she smiled. Your eyes began to shed tears. She was the first person to wish you happy birthday- Not even your parents did so.

"T-thank you", you sniffled. "I'm Y/n." She patted your head, the same way your mother once did. It was comforting. Here she was, a total stranger, and she's given you more attention than your mother has in a long time. It entranced you, to the point of laying your head on her

"I know", She sighed. "The nights not going so well, is it?"

You nodded. "When does it ever? I'm nine and feel like I'm an adult- so much I haven't done with so much responsibility."

Daciana was her name, a quite beautiful name. You told her all your fears and she held you close. She comforted you when no one else would.

You will never forgive yourself for what happened to her...

***

The cave was cold, almost icy. Jin wanted to light a fire but Joon was strongly against it. "That'll make us an easy target", he scolded.

Jimin laid flat on his back, having no neck or back support. He thought of you. What are you doing right now? What may you be wearing? He dreamed of the dinner you might be cooking.

Does she even care that we're gone?

Jungkook was trying his best to keep Hobi's fever down, but it continued to rise. Taehyung was in excruciating pain. Yoongi was absolutely delirious and Joon could hardly breathe, choosing the solid ground as the best place to rest.

"Joon, we can't go on like this", Jin begged. It hurt him to see his pack in so much pain. It hurt even more to know the cause of it was his pack alpha.

He heaved, trying to get back on his two feet with no avail. "What else can we do? The minute we think we're safe, we'll will be taken. You know this! Where can we possibly go?"

"Back home", Jimin mumbled, using the last bits of his energy. "I wanna go back home, to Y/n."

"Me too", Kook whispered just audible enough to hear. The rest of the pack agreed, sharing their sentiments- everyone except Namjoon. While everyone whined and groaned, he laughed exasperatedly.

"Are you guys serious? She would've turned us over to the authors the minute she found out who we really are! How many times do I have to tell you this? You cannot trust humans."

Jin was fed up. He was sick, exhausted, and lonely. And he was done following orders.

"What do you think you're doing?" The pack watched Jin as he put Jimin on his back, heading towards the entrance of the cave.

"We're going home, Joon..." Jimin struggled to keep his eyes open, but a smile was plastered on his face. It was hard to miss his excitement, even if it was a little hard for him to express. "Anyone who wants to come can come, but I'm tired of living in fear."

He continued, pointing towards his alpha. "Let me know when you're done too. You know where to find us."

And with that, the six pack member left the dark and empty cave, leaving Namjoon alone with his thoughts.

What am I gonna do now? He thought.

-

-

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[ranticore]

I gave up on editing and did this instead check it out. I had a rough time with the zeta because they kept getting too anthro dog-ish and I wanted them to read as primates. The one pictured there is a crew member on a whaling vessel (chef and lookout).

Image description and transcript of text below the cut:

[Figure 1 description: Front and side views of a zeta's face with the skull and external anatomy overlaid and separate. The skull is similar to a baboon's with massive broad fangs and a huge saggital crest on top for muscle attachment. Figure 2 description: a bar of colours ranging from dark brown, to reddish, to pale cream, to violet, to blue, to dark blue. Beneath it are several blue markings resembling a stylised 'A' or an arrow. Figure 3 description: a pair of zeta standing together. They are blue, brown, and cream in colour and wearing fancy black collars with dark tassels, and knuckle-guards to protect their feet. They have stocky muscular bodies and ape-like heads. One is propped up on their elbows over the back of the other, looking in a different direction.]

Text reads:

Terrestrial Zeta of Siren: Overview

Zeta are large quadrupedal mammals primarily found in the Eastern continent, the only area of significant continuous land. They are specialists at hunting and killing the local wildlife, most of which have strong chitinous shells and can be thought of as similar to millipedes or isopods. Zeta maxillary canines (1c) are the largest on Siren, laterally flattened and lacking sharp points, instead used to crush and split open the shells of their main prey, and they have huge saggital crests to support their jaw muscles. Zeta were formerly aquatic and still retain tail flukes and dense bones from that evolutionary era (3). They have a plantigrade, knuckle-walking locomotion and lack tongues. Zeta are marsupial and unisex.

Fig. 2 shows the coat colour variation. It is divided into red phase and blue phase shades. While most individuals have both phases, some are solely red or solely blue. Zeta are the only people on Siren who have naturally occurring blue pigments in their skin and hair, and blue eyes. The settlers who genetically engineered zeta also programmed in the logo of their megacorporation, which was a stylised blue letter 'A', which would appear like a tattoo from birth on the skin of zeta, formed of their own pigments. Over subsequent milennia, the logo has become indistinct and abstract, and the blue pigment is no longer limited to this particular marking, but found all over.

Kattakati

During the development of zeta, the genetic engineers wanted to produce a creature which would never have solidarity with a member of its own kind. They tampered with the brains of their creations, thinking that they had produced a creature with no sense of community, empathy, solidarity, or sympathy. In the intervening years zeta have developed a novel way to regain those traits, for their own survival. Early aquatic and terrestrial zeta developed a form of eusociality, viewing members of their pack as themselves, as limbs of one being, and over time this developed into the Dry Bowl practice of Kattakati pairing. This consists of a pair of zeta who have entered a binding agreement to consider one another a single being (3). Legally, socially, and culturally, a kattakati is one person. It has a single name and will not allow others to distinguish between its component bodies in any meaningful way, as they are supposed to be taken as a complete whole, together. It is frowned upon to consider the pair anything other than one guy. The two halves of a kattakati do not necessarily agree on all things, but this is not a contradiction; a person often thinks contradicting thoughts, and feels contradicting things. The nature of the bond is not platonic, romantic, or sexual, and a kattakati might make friends and date other people (you can't date just one half - you need to date the whole guy).

[fluentisonus]

smth I feel like I see a lot of reading people writing about history (including historians sometimes) is that they'll do a sort of 'overview' of the area or period with little sections on different aspects of life (not inherently a bad thing to do. but) where you'll get like. a section on idk. priests (fine) and then a section on The Lower Classes (good to have ig but way too sidelined considering the portion of the population this represents) and then you'll get a section on Women & almost without fail the whole section on women is (maybe bar a mention or two) about upper class women as though we hadn't just touched on class three seconds ago. and on the one hand there's some source bias here for sure but rather than trying to find information or discuss the lack of information on poor women (or enslaved women! who get even less of a mention) they just sort of.... go along with it & present that as though it's the case? idk idk it bothers me so much both in the way it ignores class as something that affects every aspect of life but gets relegated to a section but also in the way it ignores (& de-genders to a certain extent) the whole existence of poor women (a major part of most populations in history) And how it frames the whole gender of 'woman' as an inherently frivolous luxurious sort of thing (which is also connected to how you get this weird sort of homophobia where effeminacy is framed as a symptom of degenerate wealth & not something poor people (who are apparently inherently masculine) can have too). which is how you get the common but insane take that e.g. by ancient standards sparta treated women 'well' and helots 'badly', when the fact is that the majority of women in sparta were helots. anyways this is particularly about gender and class but I think it's a mistake to treat any of these categories as too separate bc you get some really weird impressions of history that way

[rappaccini]

okay. i've already autopsied tua but a final overview may be in order. i'll do it one more time.

season one was the only good season of umbrella academy. it had issues, but those issues didn't yet compromise the story or the themes. season one had a stylized production, great cast who at that point were still playing their characters instead of themselves, strong story that mostly carried (though there was some filler), and fantastically coherent themes. the cracks in the foundation were always there. but they could have been fixed.

season two was bad, but entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had a bigger budget, glossier production value, more action, a cool new setting, more Fun Moments, enough momentum from the source material to mostly fill up the season, and the character assassination didn't have time to reach its consequences yet so everyone acting like the fandomified version of themselves worked for the people who were just here for the fun. it also dropped in the summer of 2020, when people were desperate for escapist entertainment, and there was little superhero fare to compete with (and when the protests happening that summer had people wanting to Say Something about civil rights without actually wanting to change anything). the bar was lower, and season 2 cleared it. but season 2's story broke. look back at the actual story, and you'll see it.

season three was bad, and not entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had some interesting ideas and good moments, but the whole thing was a slog. the pacing was terrible, the character assassination couldn't be denied anymore, and the momentum from the comics ran out and left the writers to their own devices, which revealed they had no plan, no substantive creative backbone, and no understanding of what they were making. season three could have saved the show with a hail mary of tight writing to pick up the slack, but quadrupled down on the problems and guaranteed it was past the point of no return.

season four was terrible. somehow with a reduced episode count it still dragged, every single character has no growth, the basic logic of the story is missing and the continuity is a mess. and ending the story about abuse victims trying to heal on them concluding that they should all just kill themselves makes the story both pointless and rotten. at this point it was a given. you can't recover from two bad seasons back to back. season two shot the show in the gut, season three let it bleed out instead of healing it, and season four kicked its corpse a few times for a couple klaus jokes, then confirmed that its very existence was a mistake. very meta.

so. what were the cracks in the foundation.

the lack of respect for the source material. as soon as they tried a plot that had no connection to the original comics, they were fucked. but even before season four, they were all over the place. in fact they still haven't adapted most of the comics. john perseus, calhoun, deever, dr terminal, the academy at war with each other in the 1960s, the actual purpose of hotel oblivion, the chimpanzees everywhere, the 1980s period setting, clarissa and oscar, the coming of the squid monster, carla the sparrow, grace having her own secret agenda, the actual character of jennifer? just not here. even the raygun gothic aesthetic is watered down and eventually barely even present.

the spinelessness of the creative team. as early as season 2, they were throwing character arcs and themes in the trash to beg the fans to love them. they had no plan and just wanted cheap thrills.

the lack of internal rules. the time travel mechanics don't make sense. viktor's powers just do whatever. lila's powers eventually just do whatever. the central reveal that vanya's medication had been repressing her powers, set up by klaus using drugs to do the same, is undone by season 2's climax revolving around vanya somehow using her powers despite being drugged. the 'marigold' reveal about their powers makes no sense (why does luther get his body back? we don't know.). there are no stakes with no clear world limitations.

the good victim bad victiming. as early as season 1, the show was arguing that harold jenkins is irredeemable for killing his abusive dad. that should've been your first warning that they were going to try to redeem reginald and have the academy basically kill themselves in the end.

the lack of continuity. as early as season 1, the writers forgot number five had a time travel briefcase sitting in the library, or that helen cho's body was in harold's house when he, allison and diego search it. then they forget when luther got disfigured in season 2. then they forgot how the powers work. then they forget literally everything about the story.

the racism. all the characters of color get the worst plotlines in season 1. allison loses her narrative in season 2 and gets it replaced with a civil rights plotline that concludes that 'hey, there's a black president someday!' diego and lila prance through the jim crow south without dealing with segregation as allison is hatecrimed every episode.

the sexism. look back at how all the female characters are treated. look back at how allison's mistreatment of patrick and claire is glossed over, and lila fully gets away with manipulating diego. look at how vanya's 'redemption' is all about finding maternal instincts she never had until season 2. look at how allison's assault of luther is dismissed the way it never would have been if the genders were swapped. look at how sloane is juxtaposed against allison.

the homophobia. the queer characters were either stereotyped or used as glaad award bait. the queerbait of ben and klaus's entire dynamic.

the ableism. in the comics, luther has mobility aids and his disfigurement is treated like a debilitating condition, not a punchline. his eating disorder isn't mocked. vanya's in a wheelchair after she's shot and goes through months of physical therapy and is still never the same. allison is an amputee. diego has one eye and severe ptsd. everyone's mental illness is taken seriously, including and especially klaus's addiction. in the show these elements are downplayed, absent or fuel for quirky moments.

the show is full of filler. the murder mystery plot, the meritech plot, allison following leonard around, the day that was/wasn’t…. even in season 1, there wasn't enough material to make ten episodes. there was never enough for a ten episode run for any season. and yet somehow the one season with the right runtime still drags.

the spectacle. in season 2 they fully lean into it over substance. case in point: the dance sequence.

actually i'll go into that in detail because the dance sequence sums up the whole show and its downfall.

in season one, the pilot's iconic i-think-we're-alone-now dance sequence was an emotional moment that symbolized how all the characters feel isolated and disconnected from each other, but are secretly interconnected and far more in sync than they realize. the song was catchy, but "i think we're alone now" is literally a commentary on the story it's playing over: now that the academy's abuser is dead, they can finally unwind and love each other, and they can fix their problems by literally "running as fast as they can, holding onto one another's hands." -- and how does the season end? by them doing just that.

in season two, allison, klaus and vanya's salon dance is meaningless because vanya has no clue who these people are, klaus has never given a shit about vanya before (watch season one. he doesn't care.), and allison should hate her at this point in the story. it's just there for fun... but if you swapped vanya with ben it would work as a joyful reunion between these three people. the concept of the dance is fine, but the decision to make it a fanservice moment throws it off.

in season three, the dance sequence comes out of nowhere as a ~wacky random fun moment~ to call back to the first season. the footloose song has nothing to do with the story, it's just fun and catchy. there is no substance to the spectacle anymore. it's just dumb fun.

and season four ends in 'i think we're alone now' for no reason other than to ask the viewer to remember when the show was good. no fun, just dumb.

... let's look back at the themes season one sets up.

the road to recovery takes a very long time, and you will fall off it and have to climb back on.

corporations don’t have your back. they’re soulless and they want to suck the life out of you.

abuse does not make nice people. abuse does not make happy people. there are no good victims or bad victims. (except leonard, i guess.)

it’s difficult to tell where programming stops and free will starts; toxic behavior begets toxic behavior, and we have to own up to it, stop it, and resolve to be better.

redemption is possible. the bad things you did in the past don’t define your future.

you're better together than apart. 

time. changes. everything. it isn’t too late to have the life and the love you wanted. it isn’t too late to realize your talents, or become a better person, or free yourself from a bad situation. it isn’t too late to get together, or to make up or to change your mind. there are no lost causes. the world is worth saving. your enemies are worth showing mercy to. your relationships and friendships and broken families can be salvaged and reshaped into something new and better.

things are fucked, but if we give it everything we have, we can save it, and it’s worth taking up that fight, because nothing is set in stone.

fuck it, be happy. 

remember those?

i'm gonna get into it character by character:

luther.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing he was abused, disavowing his abuser and finding his confidence to become the leader he never got to be and go after the love he lost with allison and make a family with her and claire. that was his starting point.

and the fandom hated him rabidly. they said he was just as bad as his father, insisted that he had no redeemable qualities, made fun of his body and his traumas, took the situation with vanya and removed all the moral grays to call him evil over it, and insisted that he was Somehow Abusing Allison.

in season 2, luther has conveniently disowned and confronted reginald offscreen before the plot starts.

he immediately apologizes to vanya, who is an amnesiac and can't actually hold him accountable for hurting her, and the situation is never mentioned again.

his body dysmorphia is played for laughs.

his intelligence and leadership qualities are gone and he's just a bumbling idiot. remember when luther was an astronaut who effectively kept up a faulty space station for four years on his own? could you believe this dumbass was that guy?

he's a punching bag for the fans who hated him.

and season 3 seals the deal. he's still an idiot, he's still hideous.

his romance with allison is destroyed as offensively as possible to reassure the fans who hated alluther.

his romance with sloane is a clumsy attempt to keep the payoff he and allison should have had into the story as they're placating the fans who hate them.

and in season 4, he's... a stripper. he never finds a way to love his body, he just conveniently doesn't have it anymore, and he's still treated like a joke for it.

he never meaningfully takes command of the academy, he just stops trying to.

the wife season 3 insists he loves so much is gone and he doesn't give a shit.

he never even confronts allison for assaulting him, or reconciles with her and has a significant relationship with claire.

he decides to just die.

his entire character trajectory was aborted after only one season. he spent 75% of the runtime with nothing to do, because the fandom hated him and the writers were too cowardly to follow through with his character.

diego.

his entire plotline was meant to be about letting go of his aggression issues by finding his place in the family, reforming his rivalry with luther into a deep friendship based on mutual support and unpacking his 30 year history with vanya in order to finally be happy and in love with her after facilitating her redemption.

and his character's arc is dependent on others....

so in season 2 when luther's arc was canned, so was diego's journey towards letting go of his ego and finding a way to support luther after spending his whole life being pitting against him.

in season 2, when allison's arc was canned, diego ended up with the commission / jfk assassination plot that was never meant to be his. his entire dynamic with number five was hers.

in season 2, because klaus took his vietnam plot in season 1, diego doesn't have one anymore, so there's no way to meaningfully unpack how he feels like his only purpose is violence. instead, his anger issues are totally ignored.

and in season 2, when vanya was split into elliot-page-playing-himself and lila, the romance went out the window too. yes, diego falls in love with lila, but he barely knows her, and all she's done is manipulate, drug, kidnap and hurt him and the academy... yet all that bad behavior is totally ignored in the Show About Abuse And Trauma, because they have chemistry. there's no deep, complex history between them that could have anchored the relationship. the redemption arc itself is rushed and undeserved.

oh, also, he doesn't feel upset about eudora anymore. never mentions how he got her killed, or that he loved her.

then in season 3, diego has nowhere to go but deeper into his romance arc. he has no tension with luther to resolve (and with the show assassinating alluther, there's no 'we both love our girlfriends and want to make it home to tell them that, so let's get over our bullshit and help each other get there' revelation like in the comics). his relationship with lila gets even weirder, with her... deciding to babytrap him, getting a kid killed in the process, and it being framed as quirky and hot. and no eudora again.

and in season 4, diego is a family man who doesn't give a shit when his kids are wiped from existence, whose marriage is about to implode. who decides to just die.

there's just... nothing. he's just himbo #2.

allison.

her entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how culpable she is in the abuse of her family, unlearning those manipulative tendencies and figuring out how to exist authentically, making amends with the people she hurt-- especially vanya and her ex-husband and daughter-- and restarting her life with someone she can love: luther.

allison isn't formally character assassinated until season 3, but she was wrong from the start.

because in season 1, they had her be already past all those things in the pilot episode because they're too sexist to let women be messy. allison is conveniently totally in control of her behavior and has already decided not to use her rumor anymore. she already accepts responsibility for hurting her ex and daughter.

and the writers refused to let her and vanya be angry at each other because ~we don't believe in girl hate~. leading to allison forgiving her for slitting her throat and leaving her to die.

in season 2, the writers wouldn't give her the commission plotline from the comics. allison was the protagonist of the dallas arc, who had a complex story about being willing to alienate her loved ones in order to save them, being ruthless enough to belong at the commission, making deals with the devil to get her powers back and save her the academy.... and unknowingly creating a paradox where she is responsible for the traumatizing incident of watching someone be killed when she was a girl.

instead, allison is saddled with a c-plot about how you have to be nice when you protest, and how fighting back violently against the racist who tried to literally hatecrime you yesterday makes you just as bad as him. rewatch that scene. look at how it’s framed. that’s the takeaway.

and throughout allison's time in dallas, none of the academy check in with her on how she's doing. no one cares. even when she was attacked at a protest they all know she was at, no one asks her if she's okay.

instead of showcasing allison's ruthlessness and dedication to her family, we meet her having conveniently moved on after her daughter was killed, happily settled into dallas with a new relationship, and having given up on ever finding a way home.

instead of showing allison learn to adapt to life without her rumor, we meet her having already figured out how to get a job, make friends, and have a relationship without it. she doesn’t even have to find the courage to join the activists because she did already.

instead of allison learning how to live without a physical voice, she can just talk again. her power's just... back.

instead of allison being rightfully furious at vanya for disabling her, depowering her, stranding her alone in the jim crow south for years, and killing her child... she instantly forgives her. dance party! no girl hate here!

her romance with luther is intact, but the writers know you hate it, so they're trying to please you by giving her a romance with a man who she doesn't trust with any information about her, who doesn't trust her, and who allison doesn't hesitate to abandon five days after luther shows up. but hey they have chemistry, so they were Truly In Love, apparently. no seriously, the raymond romance is bad.

season 3 tries to do the heavy lifting with the messier aspects of allison, but this happens too late, and it mostly functions as a way to assassinate her character to turn her into an angry black woman stereotype so they can kill her romance with luther as meanly as possible, and set sloane up to take her place.

she suddenly cares that her daughter is dead and that viktor technically killed her after an entire season of not caring. and her decision to alienate the academy to save her rings false because she spent two years not caring. why now.

her romance with luther implodes when the writers decide to just do what the fandom wants and make it Toxic All Along, after two seasons of framing it in the most positive light possible. and allison sits front row at his wedding to a woman he barely knows, smiling through it like that wasn't supposed to be her, or like she didn't just assault him.

because viktor and allison have had such an artificially nice relationship, there's no payoff to them learning to love each other again, like viktor encouraging the group to sympathize with allison afterher betrayal.

the effect of this is that at the end of season 3, allison has regressed into the person she was before season 1, but do you even want to see her get better or get along with the academy after she tried to assault luther, killed viktor's stepson, and sold everyone down the river to live in a fantasy world?

good news! all that doesn't matter in season 4! luther and viktor never confront allison for doing that to them. the whole family's over her betraying them. raymond? oh, he's just gone. yeah, he left between seasons. we won't even unpack the implications, or that allison's right back to being a divorcee whose husband abandoned her after learning what she did with her rumor, trying to live without that power. oh and don't worry, she isn't dependent on her power anymore. yeah, we just solved that offscreen again.

claire's here, but is there even a point.

allison and klaus's relationship is intact, but because the show won't seriously examine klaus's addiction, we can't discuss how they enable each other, or how allison's manipulative tendencies or klaus's flightiness and addiction might be affecting claire. no more intergenerational trauma discussion here.

allison has nothing to do because slowly learning how to admit how much harm she inflicted on her loved ones, live without her power, and earn vanya/viktor's trust back was her arc and it's... all over the fucking place.

then, she decides to just die.

klaus.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how much damage his addiction has done to himself and his family, getting clean and conquering the crippling fear of his power that made him an addict in the first place.

then in season 2, he's clean offscreen. no exploration of klaus trying to stay on the wagon for the first time in decades. we're just three years into him being totally fine sober. no complications.

and his relapse is played for laughs instead of treated like a devastating moment.

in season 2, his grief over dave is glossed over. yes, we see dave for five minutes, which is more than the three minutes he got in season 1, but klaus is Moved On Already. no discussion of what this relationship meant to him (... or how ben was affected, being the third wheel). no rumination. just a quick 'here's dave to shut the fans up' and on we go.

in season 2, klaus's excitement about exploring his powers' potential is gone already. yeah, he figured them out offscreen.

his cult plotline replaces his comics story of being a clubkeeper in vietnam and becoming a father (yes, klaus has a baby in vietnam), and the entire plotline is a mean-spirited metanarrative about how dumb the writers think his fangirls are. like. fucking look at the narrative. they're making fun of you.

and yet there are no serious consequences to the implications of klaus immediately turning into his dad the second he gets a little power. he isolated a bunch of people from the outside world, derailed their lives, tattooed them, got them hooked on the idea that The End Is Nigh and Only He Can Save Them, got them to have sex with him, and only stopped manipulating them because he was bored. not even because he realized it was wrong.

his relationship with ben is queerbaited to hell, and has no resolution.

he spends the entire season deliberately keeping ben isolated from the rest of the academy, and this is never meaningfully examined. klaus is an absolute bastard in season 2, and the writers don't acknowledge it.

by season 3, he's just a joke machine and a flamboyant stereotype. he never has a substantive interaction with sparrow ben, or struggles with his sobriety or his addiction in a way that takes it seriously. even his meeting with his mother feels empty.

and in season 4, the mothers of agony plotline from the comics is so disjointed that it's meaningless. in the comics, this is his lowest low, that ben helps him come back from.

any depth to the implications of his immortality is gone. it's just funny that he's a germophobe.

(... immortality? how'd he get killed in the first season apocalypse timeline then. no answer? okay.)

any potential in his relationship with allison and claire is gone.

like luther, his crucial development is skipped over and he spends half the season wandering in circles making jokes.

and he decides to just die.

five.

his entire plotline was meant to be about learning to trust the academy and work within them as a team member rather than running off and doing his own thing. and about slowly learning to be a person instead of a vehicle for the mission.

in season 2, he inexplicably lets the commission go and trusts they're Good Now thanks to new management, after making it clear in season 1 that he can't ever trust them.

in season 2, his antipathy with vanya is transferred to lila. he never accepts responsibility for his role in leading to her isolation.

in season 2, instead of trying to get the family together, he's still working on his own.

in season 3, instead of riding hard for viktor and sympathizing with him, he calmly tells him he'll put him down if he ever steps out of line again and ignores him the rest of the time.

for three straight seasons, he's the plot driver. but three seasons in with no other characters having a coherent arc, the plot driver became all he was. he couldn't slow down or have an emotional moment because he's the only thing moving things forward and all the people who can bring out those emotions are so ooc that it won't work.

then in season 4... oh boy.

he's not the plot driver anymore because there's no plot.

five slowly trying to embrace domesticity could have been interesting... but boy does it fall flat.

five created the commission! no, we won't discuss the nature of him being responsible for his own abuse, or perpetuating the cycle that led to the apocalypse and the academy's misery.

five falls in love... with his brother's wife, who he hates, who hates him because he hog-tied and tortured her parents to death in front of her when she was a little girl. okay.

then he decides to just die.

ben

his entire presence in the story was building to a reveal that he's only staying with klaus because he's in love with him.

in season 2 they queerbait that connection for ten episodes by framing him as a literally possessive boyfriend, give him a 'love interest' in jill that makes no sense, kill him off in a scene that makes no sense because that's not how their powers work, and have the vaguest 'by the way he was in love with you' reveal via vanya that feels like an afterthought.

klaus keeps ben from talking to anyone in the academy for the whole season for no reason. he never mentions why, ben never gets mad at him. there are no emotional consequences. ben spent an entire season able to talk to the academy and inform the world and nothing ever comes of this.

in season 3, ben's a totally different character. none of the umbrella academy have emotional reactions to seeing him alive.

not even klaus.

and he feels nothing for them.

he also feels nothing for the sparrows, who drop like flies around him without him giving a shit.

in season 4 he's a completely different character again.

no interest in reuniting with his sparrow academy mates, or the umbrella academy.

he's a crypto bro for some reason.

the south korea subway ending stinger? idk where that went.

the show does use the comics' likely endgame of ben being the portal through which the final antagonist arrives. but they do it in such a strange, meaningless way.

the romance with jennifer comes out of nowhere and makes no sense. it's unclear why he'd want to become a blob with her. there's no emotion anchoring this plot.

also, jennifer was a large, dark-skinned black woman in the comics and... isn't here. (it's also unclear if jennifer was romantically involved with ben in the comics, or if she might have been one of the kid's mothers. so uh. we'll see how that ends up.)

his tentacles come out of his back sometimes. huh?

the reveal that he was killed by their father and they were all brainwashed makes no sense. especially given that allison has brainwashing powers that are never used to cover this up.

there's never a meaningful payoff for ben as a character.

and vanya/viktor…

to start, seasons 1-2 will call her vanya because that's how the character was written, performed and received. seasons 3-4 will refer to him as viktor. that's why the name/pronouns switch back and forth in this post. those are two different characters.

alright i'm gonna say it: the show basically killed off vanya at the start of s2 and split her into two characters: lila, who's the white violin from the comics-- and has vanya's style, punk musicianship, romance with diego, mutual hate with five, alliance with the commission, status as the most powerful character, and role as the antagonist who needs a redemption arc that rejoins her with the family-- …. and the character that would become viktor, who's just elliot page playing a flattened version of himself for token queer points.

the show literally got rid of its main character one season in, sped past all the conflict with the academy to the part where they're all besties again, and gave all the interesting shit to an oc. and they did it because they cared more about profiting off of elliot page's queerness than trusting him to do his job as a professional actor, and supporting that performance in the face of a fandom that only saw him for his sexuality/gender identity.

season 2 skips over vanya learning to use her power and lose her fear of it. she's just good at it now. also, the character will never use the violin to channel her powers again, and will never again acknowledge her love of music, because elliot page didn't like playing the violin. like, sir. what are you doing playing a character called 'the white violin' then.

season 2 skips over her rage and hatred of the academy. instead of being afraid of them, avoiding them, and being hostile whenever they interact, she's instantly cool with them, dismisses their years of mistreatment and dismissal, and is part of the family with no friction despite trying to kill them, blowing up the world, and killing their niece.

season 2 totally resets her personality. amnesia! she's nice again! we know you hated her when she was angry, so don't worry about that!

season 2 gives her a romance with someone who she has chemistry with, but who fundamentally doesn't understand her. the entire relationship is just fanservice. remember the lesbian vanya truthers who thought elliot page could only play characters who were lesbians because he identified as a lesbian at the time? remember their "give vanya a girlfriend" whining? this entire plotline was for them.

season 2 hands the moment where the academy understands vanya and empathizes with her in a moment of superpower meltdown.... to harlan.

in season 3, diet elliot page just becomes overt. it's great that page's transition was incorporated into the show at his request, and at this point the damage to the character's so massive that at least they're being honest about the character just being a different entity from vanya entirely. like, fuck it. you already gave all of vanya's character to the oc. might as well.

though it's great that the transition is quickly incorporated into the story, it happens so quickly that a very easy plotline for viktor in s3 is just rushed past. he has so little to do, the transition is such an obvious fix, and they just... don't do it.

because viktor magically has full control of his powers, there's no more growth from him. and at this point his powers just do whatever. who even knows what his abilities are. the show sure doesn't.

viktor is a beloved member of the academy with no friction whatsoever, even though they're trapped in an alternate dimension because of him

allison's anger at him is demonized instead of deconstructed.

the harlan plotline certainly exists. very funny that the show casually reveals that vissy ruined sissy's life and never goes into the emotional consequences of this.

in season 4... yeah this character has nothing to do. he never expresses anger at allison over killing his stepson. his powers are even more vague. he's in canada for some reason, just to complete the transformation into elliot page.

then he decides to just die.

the main character of the story was essentially killed off one season in. the whole thing became adrift because without vanya, there's no main character anymore. no central antagonist with history with the academy, no emotional weight to their connection, no payoff to a slow redemption arc that unfolds over multiple seasons. just shenanigans.

lila

took over the vanya storyline in season 2.

lila is vanya from the comics.

vanya's hatred of the umbrella academy and antagonism towards them? it's now lila's.

vanya's alliance with the commission to destroy the world? nope. lila's the commission's ally now.

vanya's status as the most powerful character? now it's lila.

vanya and five's mutual hate? now belongs to lila and five. even the fiveya vibe rubberbanded into That in season 4.

vanya's slow redemption from a hateful villain of the academy into one of its most crucial members is handed to lila. who barely knows these people, has only ever hurt them, and yet is treated with more empathy with them after three days than vanya received in thirty years.

vanya being set up as the character who'll save the umbrellas from the sparrows? nope, that's lila now.

vanya's romance with diego? that's lila's now. no, it doesn't make sense but they have chemistry.

then in season 3... oh god. instead of unpacking lila's severe mommy issues from being abused by the handler, she's just over them now.

the academy immediately trust and embrace her even though all she's ever done is hurt them.

and for some reason, this character who's shown no maternal instincts randomly decides she wants to be a mom because her one night stand with diego, who she knew for a few days, got her pregnant.

and she tries to convince him a little white boy is their kid to test if he'll be a good father and doesn't give a shit when that child turns to dust. what are we doing here.

then in season 4, their romance doesn't even mean anything. neither does their family. they're already on the verge of a divorce. which... yeah, follows, given what their romance actually consisted of.

then she hooks up with number five, who killed her family in front of her when she was a girl. what.

.... and then we die.

the whole thing came apart in season 2. you just didn't notice yet.

and here's where i get cunty and set aside my belief that writers have an inherent responsibility to never kowtow to their fans no matter what, because the fandom is a big part of how things went wrong, and someone has to talk about it.

the umbrella academy begun as a complex metaphor for recovering from abuse, using superheroes in a gothic-adjacent setting. every single character's power is allegorical of an attribute one may take on from living in an abusive home. (and part of the missed potential in lila is the failure to fit her into that metaphor too). and the metaphor is literally in the name: the umbrella academy.

it's an academy. not a family. the characters are only adoptive siblings because reginald needed a legal way to bind them to him. they grew up in a twisted boarding school, which they explain again and again, and call each other siblings out of habit, which they also explain. and they are choosing as adults to overcome the trauma that pitted them against each other to become a found family.

... i'm gonna say it. the pseudoincest is a vital part of the story, the same way it is in the comics. that was how they were going to love each other. their ability to love each other was the sign that the brainwashing failed, and the found family was, like actual found families, going to involve some of those people pairing off romantically. allison and luther. ben and klaus. vanya and diego-or-five. that was the story.

the umbrella academy is both a giant metaphor for healing from a dysfunctional family, and for finding a queer found family (... it's the umbrella academy. that's the part of the allegory that's still unfulfilled. everyone in this story is queercoded, not just klaus and vanya/viktor. the show massively dropped the ball in not exploring this deeper.) and the fandom screamed, whined and harassed their way into having it scribbled out of the story, and the writers were cowardly enough to do it for you. if you're wondering why they kept trying to sneak alluther in through the back in season 2, still had a harcest couple get married in season 3, and pivoted to shipping lila so hard, that's why. it's the most important thing about the story, and you hated it. is it any shock that the story ends with all their relationships stunted, and no love between them.

remember all those themes from season 1? remember how you guys hated them? remember how you concluded that luther is an irredeemable monster, and klaus is an innocent little baby, and vanya is somehow both and neither? remember how you were completely uninterested in watching everyone redeem themselves, and wanted to skip to the Fun Sibling Moments? remember how you immediately dismissed half the characters as lost causes, and directly demanded that the writers not let the characters love each other? congrats, the writers were listening!

the umbrella academy comic is meant for adults. the show was made for a wider audience and the writers were totally unprepared for the fandom of antifan teens they got. and they overhauled the show to make it what that fandom wanted. more fun, less substance. making luther a bumbling idiot and sidestepping his entire arc. making diego a himbo. skipping allison's complexities until it's time to demonize her for them. making klaus into the cartoon version of himself. making vanya into diet elliot page and handing all her storylines to a new character. dismantling the show's core tone to make it a fanservice carnival. creating vissy, allmond and dielila in the first place, and coining the ship names before the fandom even chose them. making alluther toxic all along, and swapping her out with a white-passing replacement. it was all for you.

then when they ended the show, they flipped off the fandom on the way out. of course it was going to end like that. you spent five years playing oppression olympics, making bigotry self-righteous, and declaring you didn't want a transformative ending for these characters. the writers gave the fandom the hopeless, nihilistic, meandering, substanceless, nonsensical ending it was demanding all along.

so. where do we go from here.

first of all, to ao3, for those of you who haven't moved on.

next, to the comics. assuming way ever wants to finish them, now that he's received an overwhelming message that the audience for his story hates it and prefers the bastardized versions of his characters. i get the sense he'll probably leave it unfinished. i don't blame him.

then... the umbrella academy was a massive success. it's going to get a reboot someday. in 10-15 years, we're gonna get it back. my hope is that

whoever has that responsibility has a clear vision and the talent to pull it off, the backbone to stick with it, and more loyalty to the source material. no subverting expectations for the hell of it. no kowtowing to antifandom. make a plan and stick to it and have confidence in it. hopefully, the next showrunner won't be a terrible person.

the next version of tua will be mature. so the adults who will watch will hopefully be old enough to understand what they're seeing. this truly isn't a show for kids. the fandom has proven that. let's not do it again.

that it'll be animated. the incredible visual aesthetic of the show and its edgier elements could never have been captured in live-action. and now that adult animation's starting to arrive, including on netflix, maybe in a decade or two we'll finally get the umbrella academy fully realized.

anyway. that's my piece.

[nyerus]

Overview of TGCF Versions

Due to recent(ish) events, I thought it would be good to make another post cataloguing all the different "versions" of TGCF, for newcomers and old fans alike! I'll also be going over some FAQs that I've seen or been asked so this post can serve as a decent info thread.

For simplicity's sake, first think of there being two "main" version of TGCF:

The Original -- what all the translations are based on, as well as the manhua and donghua.

The Revised -- what was released in print last year in China (only), and what was recently updated on JJWXC. The audio drama is adapting this

The original webnovel was itself not "censored." By that I mean, it contained everything MXTX originally wrote including kisses, swearing, innuendo, etc. MXTX did self-censor to avoid Real Censorship (hence the lack of NSFW scenes we may have gotten like in her previous novels), but that's a whole different thing. For all intents and purposes, consider the original version and (most of) its translations as being uncensored.

The revised version was first publicly released as a print novel in China. As such, it was actually censored. While "Hualian" is still there, and things are alluded to, it's a lot more vague. Kisses and a lot of other things were cut, including certain dialogue tidbits that perhaps were deemed a bit too obvious. (Plus a lot of Feng Xin and Qi Rong's cursing was removed lmao.)

HOWEVER, shortly after the print release, the audio drama started adapting the uncensored revised version. So we all knew there was an uncensored revised version somewhere in existence. It wasn't until the end of last month that we actually saw it! TGCF was available again on JJWXC after years of being "temporarily locked" to comply with regulations. (Though it was possible it was locked for other reasons. We will never fully know!) Not only was it finally unlocked, but it was actually updated to the uncensored revised version!

F.A.Q.s

1.) Why did MXTX make a revised version anyway? MXTX has mentioned before that she was not entirely satisfied with the original version of TGCF. Because she wrote and released each chapter in a serialized manner, with frequent (possibly daily?) updates, it doesn't surprise me that it didn't turn out exactly how she wanted. Now that she has the opportunity to sit down with it and go over everything on her own time, she's able to get it closer to what she wanted. In short: she's just really passionate about this story!

2.) Is there and English translation, or will there be? What about other languages? Officially, not yet. We don't know if there ever will be, as MXTX would have to re-negotiate the rights with publishers for translations, and at this time, we don't know if that'll happen. Unofficially, there are a few options: a. ClearNoodle has done some fan-translations you should check out here! b. By purchasing the webnovel on JJWXC now, you can MTL (machine translate) the novel. If you've seen screenshots in English floating around that aren't part of the fan-translations above, this is probably the source.

3.) What is JJWXC and how do I use it/purchase TGCF on it? JJWXC is the webnovel publishing site where TGCF was originally released. It hosts a giant array of C-novels, including most other danmei that you may have heard about. SV and MDZS were indeed also on JJWXC, but are currently (still) locked. To purchase TGCF (or any other novel) on JJWXC, cangji.net has an excellent guide and list of other helpful links to get you all set up. Please do check it out! Additionally, buying on JJWXC seems to be the most direct way to support authors. You can also throw bonus tips at them!

4.) How much has really changed in the revised version? A fair bit. Mostly, the changes are to do with plot structure, minor characters, overall flow, and so on. It's still essentially the same story, but in a way that feels fresh. Hualian in particular have exactly the same dynamic as before. MXTX added extra scenes between them, including very sweet and tender domestic stuff haha! There's also a few new lines of spicier dialogue to go along with some of the scenes that already existed in the original.

5.) So what is considered canonical? Both, in a way. MXTX has stated that she's happy if fans can enjoy both at once, and that we're free to pick-and-choose as we wish. Personally, while there are many things I prefer from the original, the revised version is something closer to MXTX's true vision for the novel. So I feel that holds a little bit of weight there, too.

6.) Will the manhua/donghua be adapting any of the newly revised content? So far that seems unlikely. The revised version facelifts a lot from the early parts of the story, which is stuff these adaptations have already covered. It would be hard to change things down the line now. At most they could add some of the extra dialogue or such, but we'll see if that's the case. For now, we simply don't know and shouldn't count on it. If you'd still like an adaptation of the revised, please absolutely check out the audio drama! It's easily become my personal fave adaptation of the story, and is made by a small but very passionate team who are close to MXTX. Thus, it's quite faithful and does the source material such justice! <3

[maple-the-awesome]

Friend or Foe || Part 3/3

Part 1 || Part 2

Pairings: Warrior, Sky, Twilight x GN Reader

Overview: Link visits an alternate world without its hero and, more importantly, a version of you without your Link. Unfortunately, it seems even the smallest of details can lead to disastrous results. In spirt of Halloween, I've decided to do a little evil prompt because none of the Links have enough emotional damage yet😈

Zelda Masterlist 💙Fandom Masterlist

Every soldier has something they fight for - something they'd risk it all to protect. For Warrior, that motivation has always come from you. Admittedly, your relationship was a bit sour and competitive at the start since you were both trying to be Hyrule's best soldier, although overtime, spiteful taunting turned into warm banter, and warm banter became affectionate flirting. Do you even know his compliments are genuine? Do you know how weak at the knees you make him or how smitten he truly is? Not to be dramatic, but Warrior would die for you. How would you react if he told you that openly - no hint of teasing or insincerity to be found in his voice? The question has long weighed heavy on his mind, yet he supposes he'll have to wait longer for an answer because there's no way he'll get it straight from this version of you...

Goddesses, Warrior’s tired. It’s been a rough few days of walking to absolutely nowhere through a barren wasteland which has left his feet sore, his back aching, and his eyes barely able to stay open, yet he still volunteered to patrol the area around camp before turning in for the night because despite how worn out his body is, he can’t truthfully say he isn’t used to it. 

As a soldier, he’s traveled similar distances while cutting his way through whole armies, so he isn’t about to really complain about a quick walk around an empty forest even if it is pretty creepy and foggy. Besides, as you’ve always hypothesized, the more tired you are, the more rewarding sleep will be, and you aren’t wrong about that; when being this exhausted, Warrior shouldn’t have any problem passing out the second he collapses onto his bedroll.

Thinking about you during his journey is typical, especially during quiet moments like this. He wonders what you’re up to right now, placing internal bets with himself on whether you’re worried about or have barely noticed his absences. Somehow he convinces himself of the latter, after all you always claim you’re too busy to babysit him, although the former is still a nice thought even if a bit heartbreaking to imagine you becoming weak with concern over his whereabouts. Maybe you just miss having someone around to playfully critique. Maybe it feels too quiet with no one to annoy you throughout the workday. Whatever the reason, Warrior won’t allow himself to think it’s because you miss the man you love; that’s a dangerous thing to hope for.

His lonely pondering must be put on hold when he hears a sound from behind, turning just in time to see the glimmer of a blade being swung towards his head. In an instant, Warrior drops down, dodging the weapon then stopping it with his own which had been drawn swiftly. 

There were a lot of possibilities for his attacker’s identity. It could have been a bokoblin or moblin, perhaps even the same dark lizard the Chain has been hunting for this whole time, yet the very last answer Warrior would’ve imagined - something that took his breath away upon realizing - was for it to be you staring down at him with your lips pulled into a snarl.

He speaks your name in stuttered surprise, eyes as wide as dinner plates as they scan your face just to be sure despite how extremely unlikely it would be for him to ever mistake you. He could identify your beauty anywhere and he knows what it’s like to be at the other end of your blade, the difference being the lack of mischief or hidden admiration in your eyes. Instead, there’s only hate and malice after a bout of shock from your victim somehow knowing your name.

Not letting it be of concern, you bring your sword back and swing again, yet Warrior recovers from each attempt on his life, having sparred with you enough times to understand your strategies, although that isn’t to say you don’t still give him a run for his money.

“You resistance fighters just never give up, do you?! Always trying to play the hero as if you could possibly stand a chance against the Demon King! Look around you! What are you even fighting for at this point?!”

Warrior does look around. He looks around at all the dead trees and dry grass. He looks at the dark sky and the many scars that litter your face. You look as if you’ve been through something similar as the Champion, your entire body torn after many harrowing battles. This isn’t how he left you. He left you back in his Hyrule, a hand over your mouth as you tried to hide your laughter after some dumb joke he made. You were happy then, but this version of you - who he now realizes is not his own - looks miserable and tired, as if all hope has been drained from their body.

“I’m not a resistance fighter - (Y/n), it’s me. It’s Link.”

“The hero Link…?” You ask and, for a moment, Warrior has hope that you’ll halt your attacks. Surely even in this world, you must know who he is because if there’s someone who looks and acts exactly like you, there must be an equal counterpart for him, yet instead of helping him, you scowl before swiping your legs under his, knocking him to the ground with a heavy ‘thud’...He forgot that common move of yours…

You point your sword inches away from his face, for once your expression showing not anger, but rather sorrow as you gaze down at him, “Well, if that’s true then you came too late. Ganon’s already won meaning there is no longer a Hyrule to save. You weren’t here when we needed you most.”

Everyone in the Chain has your name memorized and it's not because they know you personally (you've actually never had the pleasure to meet), rather it's because of how often Sky gushes about the love of his life waiting for him back on Skyloft. Think of any pleasant word in the dictionary and that boy has probably used it at least a dozen times to describe you, be it to his brothers-in-arms or a poor shop clerk who was unfortunate enough to make a sale to him. There isn't a single negative thing Sky could associate with someone he believes to be as perfect as you. Even now, he's struggling to remove his rose-colored glasses to see the truth before him...

This is by far the worst problem the Chain has run into during their journey. Practically the second they walked through the last portal into a disastrous world of demolished forests and smoky skies, they were surrounded by a large army of moblins led by a familiar face Sky can’t say he ever missed. 

Ghirahim, despite being from a different version of Hyrule, is just as annoying and weird as Sky remembers. His minions had no difficulty grabbing a handful of heroes each where their shouts and kicking did nothing to prevent them from being taken to a dark castle on the edge of Faron, or at least what used to be it. Once there, they were promptly taken down to the dungeons, forced to listen to Ghirahim’s egocentric rambling during the whole descent until a new voice interrupted:

“What’s this?”

Sky cries out your name without any hesitation, the sight of you making him forget all about the current circumstances. He’s so happy to simply see you again that he doesn’t question right away how or why you’d even be here. Hell, it doesn’t even process that this wouldn’t be his version of you.

“Do I…know you?” The confused yet disgusted look you send him is what brings him back to reality, crushing his soul as you glance from him to Ghirahim in question, “Where did they come from?”

“Does it really matter? They’re just little rats who were found sticking their noses where they shouldn’t have,” He waves a dismissive hand before snapping his fingers which prompts the moblins to roughly toss each hero into a jail cell then slam the doors behind them.

You cross your arms, not pleased with Ghirahim’s poor explanation, “I’d say it does matter. There shouldn’t be loose Hylians running about. It’s important to know where they came from so that -”

“- So, that you run away and join your own kind?”

You shift uncomfortably at the accusation, “...No, I’m only worried how Demise will feel about this. There’s a reason he killed all unloyal Hylians, you know? What if one of these boys ends up being the prophesied hero, hmm? ‘can’t imagine Demise will be happy to know you took a chance letting his enemy go unnoticed because it ‘didn’t matter’.”

Ghirahim snarls, mumbling curses under his breath before ordering you to just make sure to keep watch over the prisoners while he talks to Demise. With a flip of his hair, he walks off, leaving you to pinch your nose in irritation.

The other heroes are quick to shout protests, yet Sky’s silent as he crawls his way back over to the door just to make sure his eyes aren’t playing tricks on him. It really is you - at least it looks like you as you make your rounds ensuring each cell is properly locked. All the while you look bored out of your mind. It’s only when you make your way to him that you pause to scoff, “What are you looking at? ‘got a concussion or something?”

“...You know, I have a version of you back in my own Hyrule,” Sky’s voice is soft as he meets your eyes not with hate like the others, but rather sympathy and sorrow, “They’re a knight on Skyloft and they’re the kindest, most generous person I know.”

You make a face at his strange comment, “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about -”

“- My point is, I know that like them - like my feather - you must be a good person deep down. I don’t believe you want to be evil, you’ve just made the choices you had to in order to survive during bad circumstances. You’re afraid, and that’s okay. Seeing how this Hyrule turned out, I don’t blame you, but if you help us, (Y/n) I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. We’ll protect you - you can come with us and we can find somewhere safe for you to -!”

“- There is nowhere safe! There isn’t a corner of this land Demise doesn’t control! You’re looking for light that doesn’t exist, so just give it a rest!” Sky’s cut off when you slam your fist against the wall next to his cell, yet contrary to your act of anger, there’s a great pain in your eyes as you look down at him, maybe even a few tears that are barely visible through the darkness, “...The faster you do, the safer you’ll be…”

You are from a whole different life than Twilight. Born into riches and raised by high nobility, you had no reason to take any more interest in a simple farm boy beyond his heroic title...but you did and always have. How did he manage you? Well, Twilight's been asking that question for years. Your parents feel conflicted, your friends often scowl, yet you still pull him away by the hand and kiss him slow in hidden corners during parties, confessing aloud how much you'd like to get away from all this stress of high standards and live in Ordon with him which is a dangerous thought that only makes him wonder how much longer he'll drag his feet. Could you truly be as happy as you say or should he leave well enough alone, after all you have everything. Why throw it all away for nothing? Until this point, Twilight hasn't been sure of that answer…

Time has warned the group before that they should be careful when it comes to approaching locals, concerning that too many strange questions about a shapeshifting lizard and mysterious portals might rub them the wrong way. Heeding his word, the boys have cautiously navigated their interrogations so as to not raise any unnecessary fears amongst those just trying to go about their days. Sure, they’ve still received some raised eyebrows or even glares here and there, but no reaction has ever been as extreme as this one.

“Who do you think you are, disrupting the peace of our tranquil town through baseless claims of monsters and beasts lurking beyond on our doorstep?! Why, we haven’t seen so much as a keese in decades, yet now you have caused innocent families to enter a frenzy worrying about Ganondorf’s return!”

If he wasn’t already so accustomed to the nonsense nobles can spew, Twilight would’ve rolled his eyes at this man’s dismissive speech. Judging on his own personal military and the gold that decorates every wall of his home, he’s clearly in very high standing here - a self-declared king of sorts, one would think based on his fancy robes and ringed fingers. It makes sense for him to be concerned about strangers spreading news of possible danger. Hylia forbid any townsfolk panic and leave for who else would there be to exploit in their absences?

“Strip them of their weapons,” The nobleman orders and there is nothing the handcuffed heroes can truly do as his guards obey, taking their swords, shields, and anything else that could be deemed useful for rebellion all while Time once again tries to appeal to the man’s reason.

“Father, what’s all of this about?” Negotiations (if they could be called that) are put on hold as another joins the party. While none of the other boys bat an eyelash, Twilight’s shocked to recognize the voice, nearly giving himself whiplash just to get a good look at you as you wander into the room with a rather bored look upon your face.

“Nothing to worry about, my dearest star. I will have this little situation taken care of shortly,” The nobleman’s voice changes dramatically when addressing you, suddenly laced with honey as a smile graces his face; a far contrast from the slim he directed towards the Chain earlier. Twilight doesn’t even feel bad that he hadn’t recognized him earlier. Even back in your shared Hyrule, he never paid much attention to your parents seeing as he was only returning the favor by doing so.

Although this you isn’t his own, Twilight still finds himself trying to catch your eye, hoping to appeal to your generosity because surely it’s a universal trait of yours. If anyone could call off your father’s hounds, it would be you, yet it seems Twilight is being too hopeful with that thought.

“Well hurry it up! My friends will be here soon and I don’t want to have to explain to them why my father has a bunch of filthy travelers sitting in our parlor!”

Twilight’s distracted from the horror he was about to feel upon hearing such harsh words leave your mouth when a guard begins emptying his pockets next.

“Hey -!” 

“- What do you have there? Show me.” 

The guard ignores Twilight’s protests in favor of bringing his findings up to his master, holding his hands out as if offering them on a silver platter, “A ring, shire -” 

“- Let me see!” You decide greedily, plucking the ring from the guard’s hand before he can hardly finish his sentence.

“Is it to your liking, my star? Consider it yours then.”

Twilight was about to object to your father’s offer which isn’t his to give, yet you beat him to it, turning the ring over in your palm a few times just to confirm your disgust, “...Nah. It’s hardly worth anything. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing such a mediocre pebble.”

“Then give it back!” Twilight can’t help himself from shouting, the venom in his voice gaining him the surprised attention of everyone in the room.

“How dare you speak to my child in such a way you -?!”

“- Why?” You cut your father off, an amused smirk tugging at your lips as you make your way towards the cuffed man. Kneeling down, you match his height with the ring pinched between your fingers for him to see, your next words scoffed in his face, “Oooh, I get it: you’re planning on proposing to someone, aren’t you? What an unfortunate soul they must be for this to equal their supposed worth to you. Let me go ahead and save you the time: the answer’s ‘no’. No one in their right mind is ever gonna marry someone like you with a ring like this.”

Dropping the ring in front of him, you then walk away as he bows his head, yet you’d be shocked to know his reaction isn’t one of shame. 

Twilight has often doubted if you’d be happy with him, somehow convincing himself you’d be better off in the life you already have instead, yet seeing this version of you and their corrupted, twisted greed, those insecurities melt away because the you Twilight knows and loves isn’t this selfish. The you he loves begs your father to open his doors for innocent travelers and beams cheerfully at gifts. The you he loves would never judge any ring, in fact he’s now convinced you wouldn’t even notice one to begin with. You’d be too busy saying ‘yes’ to him, jewelry being a forethought in your mind compared to the promise of spending the rest of your life with your beloved farmhand.

[jjkamochoso]

The Perfect Fit

Story Overview: Levi Ackerman begrudgingly finds himself falling in love with the Survey Corps’ seamstress. Will they be able to own up to their feelings for each other? Or is their love doomed to fail before they discover the truths of each other’s hearts? This slow burn reader insert story will be filled with angst, yearning, and a bit of mystery as we slowly unravel the truths behind Y/N’s past… and explore her and Levi’s future!

Chapter 1

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 linked here

Levi Ackerman x female reader

Warnings: cussing

You grunted, lifting the last box into the cart and feeling relief that your sore arms could take a break for the short ride over to the Scout Regiment. You slipped your foot into the saddle of the horse, brought your other leg up and over, and started on your journey. You wanted to enjoy the feeling of wind in your hair and sunshine on your face this fine summer day, but frankly, you were too exhausted to give a damn. Your fingers were numb, your wrists cramped, your eyes dry. You were up all night mending the Survey Corps uniforms. As the resident seamstress, tailor, and only person skilled enough at embroidery, you were always busy, but no time were you more overwhelmed with work than after the group comes back from an expedition. Most, if not all, soldiers’ uniforms had holes of every size that needed to be patched. Pants, jackets, capes—each had to be in working order and acceptable in appearance as fast as possible. There was never enough money allotted to the Scouts to buy new uniforms as often as they should and sometimes you were even left working with clothes of the deceased to clean and repurpose for their living comrades. The whole situation was messed up, sure, but with severe lack of resources, especially with Titans taking up the valuable real estate needed to cultivate more, you understood that you had to make do. And so, you did. Just because something is a necessity doesn’t make it any easier to work with, though. You took to your face a handkerchief to dab away the accumulated sweat as your horse neighed and the cart slowly came to a halt in front of barracks. You were afraid that when you dismounted, your legs would give out in exhaustion, but you mentally slapped yourself. There was no way you would show an ounce of weakness in front of the people who give their lives just to keep you safe. Before you could give it any more thought, a voice called out to you.

“Y/n! Welcome! I trust everything is here?”

Commander Erwin walked toward you, halting his conversation with a shorter man who looked displeased at the interruption, but nevertheless made his way to you as well.

“Hello, Commander. Yes, all of the Scouts’ uniforms are in here, mended and ready to wear.” You slid off your horse and thankfully didn’t fall over. “Where should I unload the boxes?”

“Captain Levi will show you where they go. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to.”

Your eyes went wide when you realized who the man in front of you was.

“Captain Levi,” you said, a smile gracing your face, “it’s an honor to finally meet you, sir. I rarely receive your articles of clothing to fix. You must truly be as good as they say if you can avoid snagging your cape in the tree branches.”

Levi had an unreadable look on his face as he let out a “tch.” You were about to say something else when Hange came running over.

“Y/n!” They screamed in excitement, dragging out the last syllable of your name. You were greeted with a big hug from your friend and you felt the tiredness slip away from your body for a brief moment.

“Hange! I haven’t see you in forever! I made sure to stitch up your shirt extra well and took great care to make sure it was straight as can be.”

“Aww, I am your favorite-”

“Isn’t that your job?” Levi interjected, looking annoyed as ever.

You were confused by what he meant. “I’m sorry?”

“Your job. Isn’t it your job to make sure the stitches are straight? Why are you bragging about doing your job the way it’s supposed to be done?”

You felt your face warm in embarrassment. You weren’t expecting to make a fool out of yourself, especially in front of someone as important as the captain, yet here you were. You should’ve heeded everyone’s advice to avoid talking to him or near him at all costs. Hange punched him in the arm, presumably for being so rude around their friend, but you answered him before a fight ensued.

“I don’t have a sewing machine,” you muttered.

Levi raised his hand to his ear, signaling you to speak up. You took a deep breath, frustrated at his attitude.

“I said, I don’t have a sewing machine. I mend everybody’s clothes by hand, by myself, with a turn around time of basically nothing.” You felt yourself getting heated and you knew it was because you were tired, but you kept going. “I fix undergarments, shirts, pants, jackets, and capes for 150 people at a time. I scrub blood from the dead’s clothes until my own fingers bleed because we don’t have enough material for me not to. I’m sorry my standards aren’t high enough for you, Captain, but sometimes I can only work extra hard on one person’s uniform. If I took the time to be that precise with everyone’s, your cadets would be fighting the titans just as naked as they are.” You felt your eyes start to water but you were determined to keep your cool. “Now, please show me where these boxes go. I have lots of work that needs to be done.”

No more words were exchanged as you, Levi, and Hange moved the boxes to an empty room inside barracks. When the work was done and Hange bid you farewell, it was just you and the moody captain alone again. Your horse could sense the tension between you two, stamping the ground in light distress, and you both reached out to soothe the animal. Well, him being an animal lover makes you like him the tiniest bit more. Alas, you knew you had to make verbal amends or else you’d risk getting reprimanded by whatever higher ups caught wind of the situation that you weren’t giving 110% on your work (that inevitably gets ruined the next time the cadets get too rough during training, but you digress).

“Look, Captain, I sincerely apologize for my behavior. I know I technically don’t work under you but you’re still an officer and deserve respect. Just know that I am trying my best to work under these rough conditions, as are you and your team. I hope I didn’t offend you or undermine the importance of your team’s uniforms.” You lowered your head in a slight bow to show your remorse.

“Raise your head, dumbass. It’s fine,” he said, monotone as usual, and he walked away. When he was out of earshot, you groaned. You were lucky that you and Erwin were close or else you figured you’d be fired immediately for your lack of tact toward a superior. Mounting your horse once more, you rode back to your workshop for some much needed rest. With your horse squared away in its stable, you locked your front door behind you and took off your shoes, feeling your pain creep up. You went upstairs to your living area and sleep overtook you as soon as your head hit your pillow.

The next morning, you awoke to a soft knock at your door. It was much too early for any tailoring appointments you had, so after you yawned, you called out, “just a minute!” to let the person know you were on the way. However, when you opened the door, you weren’t greeted with a human, but a sewing machine! You stood in shock for a few moments before sweeping it into your arms, cradling it like a baby. As much as you never wanted to let go of the machine, you put it on your work table to read the note that was attached.

“ALL my soldiers deserve to be fitted with the best uniforms from the best seamstress. Also, go to the damn medic. Your fingers are fucking disgusting.”

If it weren’t for the note, you would’ve thought Hange got you the gift, but no—it must have been Levi! You couldn’t help but giggle at what he wrote as you looked down at your hands. He was right, of course. Your fingers had blisters all over them from sewing too much. He must’ve noticed them when you were moving boxes, or maybe when you touched your horse? Either way, he has a hell of an eye for detail because you were never all that close to him yesterday. Rereading the note, you felt your heart skip a beat. He definitely cared deeply about people, much more than he let on, which was apparent in the way he sourced a literal sewing machine for you in under 24 hours, a feat that few could pull off in these times. But he was just being a concerned captain, that’s all. There was nothing more to his actions, no hidden feelings or anything cheesy like that.

Right?

Chapter 2

[charles-leclerc-official]

2024 Imola Grand Prix Race Analysis

My analysis of the Imola Grand Prix. This race on the surface was as some have claimed "boring" however when you dig into the data a different story emerges, one that promises more competition this season.

Table of Contents Race Overview Ferrari - Qualifying - Charles - Carlos - SF-24 Upgrades Red Bull - Max: vs Lando - Sergio Mclaren - Lando - Oscar Williams Mercedes VCARB Aston Martin Data Analysis Final Thoughts

Race Overview

This race was interesting in the terms of what we learned about the Ferrari and Mclaren upgrades as well as the RB-20. However the race as a whole was mostly uneventful. To put it simply this race was decided in qualifying. Especially at the top of the field. Max’s race was decided there, same with Lando, Charles, Carlos and Oscar. They were close enough in pace that had any one of them been ahead in qualifying that would have likely meant they kept that higher place, or had the win. I’ll go into a little more detail in the team sections, but overall this race was the one where qualifying mattered the most so far this season. 

Because the top three teams were very close this race in terms of pace I wanted to just lump the data analysis into one section instead of making it team specific, that way it’s just easier to read and it didn’t make sense to split it up because one comparison is informing another etc. So team sections as usual, and then data for all of them at the end.

I want to emphasize just how close the top three teams are. Especially Ferrari and Mclaren(again more in data section). The results may not feel like they reflect this, but trust me, the margins are finer than they have been all year. One team is not poised to run away with all the top points. Even Red Bull, while Max is still Max, Checo's performance and the overall performance of the RB20 this weekend showed that the car is not as dominant as previously thought.

Ferrari

Charles qualified P4 and finished P3(after Oscar’s grid penalty) so he started the race in P3 and finished there as well. Carlos qualified P5, moved up to P4 on the starting grid after Oscar’s penalty, and finished P5.

As I predicted the Ferrari strategy this race was pretty straightforward. Charles was supposed to try to catch Lando, while Carlos held off Oscar. It went smoothly and while Charles was not able to catch Lando because their pace was very similar, Carlos did hold off Oscar the entire medium stint. He only lost that place to Oscar when he was undercut in the pits. And even though he did lose the place there that was important because it kept Oscar from putting any pressure on Charles early on. So overall Ferrari strategy was good and they made the correct calls. It just was unlucky with the pit timing. That happens. So overall I am happy with the Ferrari strategy this race.

The biggest thing for Ferrari is now Charles is P2 in the WDC standings, it is early in the season but that is still exciting. This is due to him out-qualifying Checo, which apparently wasn’t that hard to do this race, but we take the win on that. Ferrari and specifically Charles’ consistency is really paying off both in the WDC standings and the WCC. 

Qualifying

Ferrari had issues of getting up to proper speed in qualifying, a problem that was especially costly in Q3. Many have claimed that this was a result of failing to warm up the tyres on the outlap. However that isn't the whole story. Ferrari had a different power deployment approach compared to Mclaren and Red Bull, and that was the cause in the lack of speed going into the lap. Lower speeds would affect the driver's tyre prep. So yes their tyres were not in the right window, but it was not due to the previous warming issues we have seen from the SF-24. Both drivers also struggled with speed on the outlap. Carlos had more issues but Charles was also affected. Ferrari have identified where they made a miscalculation in this area and seem confident they can improve and avoid this in future races.

Now the team has not been very specific about this with regards to the power deployment. So there aren't a lot of answers to be had there. But the statement from Fred and Charles suggest this wasn’t an issue with the upgrades or tyre warming directly, and as I said they seem confident it’s an easier fix.

Impeding during qualifying rumors: I have already discussed the possibility that Carlos impeded Charles’ Q3 outlap thus compromising Charles’ Q3 run extensively on this blog. I will recap quickly because I do not want to re-hash everything again. So I am going to keep it short. There is no evidence this happened. People made the claim and it spread. Charles and Carlos were not close enough on the track for impeding to be possible. If anyone has any real proof I’d be interested in seeing it, but I have been sent a lot of fake proof already and I doubt that is about to change. Don’t believe something just because everyone is saying it, ask for evidence.  Yes they both were noted for failing to keep proper deltas in the same outlap, but that is not proof that the cause of that for Charles was Carlos.  And I have seen the claim it cost 3 tenths. I don’t know where this number came from, but again, I am not seeing where in the data this assumption is coming from.  Charles would have mentioned something in post qualifying interviews if the outlaps were a problem. He might not have pointed at Carlos, but when asked what they could have done better he at the very least would have said they could have done a better outlap etc. He didn't, he said that was all they could get out of that session and that the appearance of qualifying looking lackluster was that the others were faster, not that his outlap was compromised.  I understand some people do not like Carlos and will not give him the benefit of the doubt but this was so far beyond insane. I am by admission not his biggest fan, but I need to see proof that he made an error to properly critique it, otherwise it’s just a conspiracy theory.  I find that this kind of thing spread so widely and so many people believed the claim at face value without seeing any kind of proof to be far more concerning than the claim itself. Ask for sources, look to see if any footage supports a claim, and if there is no proof then it should not be spread. Period. You can think what you want privately all you want. The next time something like this happens please think critically, I am begging.  If new evidence on this issue comes to light I will address it, otherwise it’s past time to move on.

Charles

Charles ran a clean race. He didn’t have the extra pace to be able to catch Lando. They were very close in pace, so it was not going to be possible. I’ll discuss more in the data section. But Charles held the podium spot which is what we wanted to see. First podium for Ferrari at Imola since 2006, so it was a very special moment for the team.

Carlos

Also ran a pretty clean race. He was less comfortable in the car all weekend, especially during the race, however he was still able to hold off Oscar. So I am very happy with his performance and role in the team strategy this weekend. He didn’t lose the place to an overtake, he lost it in the pits and that came down to being undercut by Mclaren, not much he could have done. So as far as driving goes he was solid and did exactly what he was supposed to do in terms of the team strategy. 

SF-24 Upgrades!

The most exciting thing this weekend was that Ferrari finally brought their first upgrades to the SF-24. These upgrades were aimed at improving pace, and targeted some issues the base SF-24 has been mitigating. These upgrades were overall a good step forward and continue to take Ferrari in a competitive direction. 

I will say that this track wasn’t the best for these upgrades and I think we need a few races to fully judge the true performance of these upgrades, so understand that there may be issues or more more gains that we didn’t see this weekend. I suspect that there is more pace in that car. 

SF-24 Upgrade Improvements:

Tyre warming: the upgrade did target and significantly helped the tyre warming prep issue we have seen give very mixed results in terms of qualifying and even some races. 

Low speed corners: Ferrari are now faster than Mclaren on low speed corners, and previously Mclaren were faster in this area. A very positive sign. 

Comfortability for Charles: This is important as he is ahead in the standings and he is the future of the team. They said the upgrades would target his driving style and it seems they have.

Reduced downforce for better straight line speed: The reduction in downforce did improve our straight line speed, that isn’t as clear when compared to Mclaren who have taken a bigger step forward in that department, but this was an improvement on the base we had.

Areas Ferrari Still needs to Target:

Ferrari are in a good place. They could change nothing about the race pace of the current upgraded car and with track position it would very likely be a win. However there are always things to improve beyond just qualifying. 

Biggest thing is still qualifying pace. We took a pretty good step forward in this area, but Mclaren did as well, so we didn’t feel the gain as much as we might have otherwise. However I think we are much closer to getting this worked out. It isn’t so much a tyre warming issue as it is a settings issue. The upgrades mitigated a lot of the tyre warming, it was there yes but nowhere near what we’ve been seeing in earlier races. 

Straight line speed: It’s good, and in some places it’s competitive or right on pace with Mclaren, however ideally we want to be faster, so that is an area to target for improvement. Improved straights would also lead to better high speed corner performance as well. Make no mistake the car did take a step forward in this area, but Mclaren did to so the improvement doesn't feel as significant when looking at the results.

These two should be the primary focus, as well as any adjustments for Charles to get the car to a point of balance that he likes. 

“The upgrades were bad Carlos said he wasn’t comfortable”: Ferrari has made it clear from the beginning that upgrades and the direction of the team would favor Charles. This isn’t surprising and is expected since Charles and Carlos have very different driving styles and preferences. Carlos still was able to keep ahead of Oscar as needed so even less comfortable he was able to do his job. It is not possible to have these upgrades suit both drivers, Charles is the one they are focused on. You can feel however you want to feel about that, but these results in terms of different feedback from the drivers goes support exactly what Ferrari have said they would do.

“The upgrades were bad, we weren't fast”: No, the upgrades added pace in key areas and directly helped issues the base SF-24 had. Mclaren also upgraded their car so that doesn’t mean the Ferrari isn’t good.

“Ferrari promised more pace”: We saw about 2/10ths added in pace this weekend. However this track was not suited to the car overall. I think we need to see a few races before we can accurately judge how much pace was actually added. This much on a less than optimal track is encouraging. 

“The upgrades didn’t do anything”: They did, I’m sorry they didn’t add 20 seconds to the car and make it start flying, that’s not how this works. We saw tangible improvements. There was more at play in the race results, so you cannot judge if the car is good or bad based on that alone. 

“I am disappointed and feel misled by Ferrari about these upgrades”: The upgrades were never a magic bullet, they did a lot of what they promised and it’s the first race with them. Give them some time.

“Tyre warming was a problem again”: No, in fact Charles confirmed this himself in one of his post-race interviews. The problem was more connected to power deployment on the out lap, and this caused the tyre prep to not be as good, but it was not the tyre warming issue we have been seeing in the first 6 races.

Overall a good race for Ferrari. Excited to see what the SF-24 will do in future races!

Red Bull

Red Bull had a very mixed weekend. Between Max not being fully comfortable in the car, and still not having great settings come race day, to Checo getting knocked out of Q3, this weekend showed quite a few cracks in the Red Bull armor. Max still won, and in sub-optimal conditions for him in that car, so even if the RB20 is not perfect for him he proved he can still put it on pole and he can still win. Which of course is going to mean that Red Bull are still competitive even if the car itself isn't the fastest on the field.

Checo's performance was his weakest thus far. That was the worst qualifying performance we've seen from a Red Bull all year. It was out-competed by Yuki in the junior team car. And again this is what cost him P2 in the standings to Charles.

Now on to the main thing everyone is talking about as far as Red Bull's race goes.

Max VS Lando

The big question at the end of this race “Was Lando going to catch Max?” In my opinion no he wasn’t. And even if he had caught up, I do not think he could have actually passed Max. Being fast is only one piece of the puzzle, to actually pass a top driver you need to be good at overtaking. Lando has yet to show me a quality overtake this season against one of the competitive cars in the field. In my opinion Max would have been able to hold him off, yes even struggling.

So was Lando matching Max on pure pace? Was it due to his speed? In part. There were three factors at play that led to him making some gains on Max in the final 10 laps.

The Mclaren upgrades have added good straight line speed

Lando was pushing at an unsustainable rate. He said so himself over the radio that he was at the limit.

Max was struggling with his tyres

So even with Max struggling with his car and the improved Mclaren Lando was unable to catch Max. If Max hadn’t been struggling that gap would have been larger. I do not think this means he will be seriously competitive with Max in every race they are close. If he couldn’t take Max in sub-optimal conditions for Max there is no way Lando is catching him when Max does have his car in the right window. 

I cover this more in the data section. But while he did make good gains on some laps by the final 5 he was not continuing to close that gap, which is what he would have needed to do to catch Max.

“But if Lando had a few more laps he would have caught Max”: I don’t think he had enough in the tyres to keep pushing at the rate he was to close the final gap. And as I said, I am not convinced he would have been able to overtake even if he’d closed the gap.

“Lando was better than Max”: I missed the part where he passed Max then I guess? He had to push to be faster and still couldn’t overtake a car on struggling tyres. If he’d had track position he probably would have stayed ahead. But since this race was decided in qualifying more than anything, and he did qualify behind his teammate(pre-penalty) he didn’t have the qualifying lap to get that place. He had a solid race, that’s good enough.

“X was better than X”: With the top 3 teams being so tight, especially with Charles, Lando, and Max being close on pace this isn’t really a helpful statement to make. Now there are moments when one was stronger and stood out? yes, but on overall performance it’s not clear cut. 

Lando was fast in that final stint and some of that was due to early good tyre management on his part, but the other part was that he was pushing hard. He didn’t have much left and I think if we’d had a few more laps the gap would have stayed the same or he would have dropped off on pace. It wasn’t sustainable. Nice to see a driver push, but you only push like that to make a pass quickly, it isn’t the kind of thing you can keep up forever until you catch another driver. 

Mclaren

This was Mclaren’s best result thus far for both drivers. They have had better positions, however a P2 and P4 is better than the 3-4 from Australia. And of course While Lando won in Miami, Oscar didn’t finish in the points. So as far as placement for the team as a whole goes this was best.

Now it wasn’t perfect. The results and speed I think were a little deceptive and made them look more competitive than they are in reality compared to the other top two teams. The success was mostly due to the straight line speed that their upgrades provided. Oscar seemed like he was the faster of the two with the full upgrade package, which would track given his performance in Miami with only the partial package. But again we didn’t get to see him with that front row start. I do suspect this trend will continue.

Lando

Lando qualified P3, jumped to P2 when Oscar was penalized, and he finished P2. Same story as the other top 3. 

Lando’s race was pretty standard until the last 10 laps of the race when he was pushing to try to catch Max. I explained above my opinions on that match-up, and will be covering the data in the data analysis section. 

It was a strong showing for him. But ultimately he did not have enough pace to fully close the gap to Max and I don’t think he would have given more laps. He was pushing too hard to sustain that pace and he was starting to make more mistakes. Max on the other hand was not.

Oscar

The biggest thing that affected Oscar’s race was the three place starting grid penalty he received for impeding Magnussen during qualifying. It was very clear, so a cut and dry penalty. His time qualified him P2 but he was dropped down to P5 behind Carlos. 

The impeding was really a failure of his team to let him know that Magnussen was coming. Unfortunate to see. Mclaren really fumbled that because they would have had their faster driver starting behind Max. 

And yes between the two Mclaren drivers I do believe Oscar is better suited in terms of overall racecraft to have made the pass on Max. He’s shown he can do it, and with these upgrades he is faster than Lando. We’ll have to see after a few more races if this remains to be true, but he has been more competitive this year when it comes to overtaking. 

He gained a place on Carlos in the pits. His pace was almost identical to Carlos', and Carlos was able to keep him behind. I am not sure how much of trying to avoid a repeat of Miami played a role in this. Carlos has shown he will fight to prevent a pass and that may have been in the back of Oscar and Mclaren’s minds. 

I have more on his pace comparison with Carlos in the data section. 

Williams

Another not great race for Williams. This time the car was slow, and also Alex’s pit crew messed up his pit stop, and didn’t properly attach one of his tyres. The team was penalized for this with a 10 second stop and go penalty for an unsafe release. By the time they had served that time Alex was two laps behind so they opted to retire from the race. 

Logan came in P17.

I don’t have much to say beyond that this season Williams as a team has repeatedly failed both their drivers costing them results. The car is as we have seen by now, not good. Alex is a good driver and is struggling in that car, and it has been so hard to judge if Logan has improved because the car hasn’t been helping us see that. 

Mercedes

The Mercedes upgrades do seem to have improved the performance and reliability for both drivers. Lewis especially seems to be far more comfortable in the car. Lewis started P8 and finished P6. Tied with his best finish for a Grand Prix of the season. George started P6 and finished P7. He lost one of those places to Lewis in the pits. 

Lewis and George were matched on pace on the medium tyres. But on the hards Lewis was noticeably more consistent on pace compared to George, who started losing pace on the hards after 10 laps. He did pit before Lewis. However Lewis maintained better pace on the same age tyres where George started to see a drop in performance. So Mercedes was right to keep Lewis ahead, he was the one with better pace this weekend. Overall they were very close, but Lewis had the edge especially on the hards.

Mercedes still is lacking quite a bit in the competitive speed category but they do seem to have taken a step forward, and Lewis is quickly making up points for the rocky start to his season. 

VCARB

Yuki had a great weekend. He qualified P7 in a very competitive field. And in the race he finished P10, losing places to Lewis, Lance, and Checo. Which was expected, especially the pass from Checo. Yuki is having the best season of his career and the fact he is closer to competing with top teams than the rest of the mid-field is impressive. He has been getting extra performance out of that VCARB car and is carrying his team in the standings. 

Danny started P9 and finished P13, losing places to Checo, both Haas cars, and Lance. Losing places to the Red Bull and Aston Martin were pretty expected. Would have liked to see him more competitive against the Haas cars. He’s going to need more points compared to Yuki to keep up with the team. 

Quick look comparing Yuki to Danny and Checo. You can see Checo was on pace with the two VCARBS during his first medium and his hard stint. Then on the second medium stint he flew away on pace again.

And comparing Danny and Yuki directly. They aren't so far off in overall speed. However what put Yuki ahead and kept him ahead was his consistency. Even his slower laps were less slow than Danny's. And Yuki was slightly faster, by multiple tenths in several places. They are matched on straight line speed(with Danny even being a little faster there) but on a complete lap Yuki was simply more consistent.

Aston Martin

Aston Martin did not have a great weekend. After a FP3 crash, and then losing grip in Q1 and doing a long run into the gravel he took damage and had to start the race from the pitlane. He started P20 from the pits and finished P19 and that was due to the fact Alex DNFed. So he didn’t make up any places. The Aston upgrades do not seem to have been a step in the right direction, at least for Fernando, and that isn’t going to be good for them in the standings as he is their stronger driver. 

Lance had one of his better races. Starting P13 and finishing P9. That’s fewer points than the team want to see in that car. The current competition for the team is VCARB and with Yuki’s performance they cannot just get by with 2 points this race. 

I’ll be interested to see if the team can further upgrade the car, because that qualifying pace was not great and the race pace is middling. They have the potential for a more competitive car but I am not convinced they are going to get it there. 

Data Analysis

And now the part everyone has been waiting for. Just how close are the top 3 teams?

This is going to be a lot of pace comparison. That was the name of the game this race for our top 3 teams. It’s the reason the race was “boring” by some people’s standards. Because they were all so close on pace no one was quite able to catch anyone else to make a pass.

Before we get to the data bear in mind a few things. 1. This was one of Mclaren's stronger tracks 2. This was one of Ferrari's weakest tracks 3. Red Bull was struggling on car settings for this race weekend So these results are going to be skewed in Mclaren's favor and it's not necessarily going to be accurate for future tracks. I think the margins are even closer(at least between Ferrari and Mclaren than this race and the resulting data suggest)

Max Vs Lando

First the full race pace. It’s pretty clear Max was faster on the mediums and then was close to Lando on the first half of his hard stint and then in the second half of his hard stint he dropped in pace. Max noted that it didn’t feel right, likely an issue with the car setup for the weekend, or a combination of the specific deg of the track and the temps and car not being ideal. I think the Mclaren was in a better performance window all weekend so that was reflected here. 

The thing that is most important here is those last few laps where Lando was fastest but the gap wasn't closing. He was dropping off in that faster pace at a similar rate to Max, which does support my claim that he had already gotten everything out of those tyres and with more laps his chances of catching Max were not as good as many sources have claimed.

Fastest Lap Comparison

This is where it gets interesting. We saw this same gap in straight line speed against the Ferraris and it’s present here too. Ferrari said that Mclaren were doing something “weird” to boost their straight line speed and yes, a gap like this raises questions. I don’t have an exact explanation. It is likely linked to engine settings and power unit/battery usage. The point is that this is not Lando being faster than Max, it’s very much the car doing that for him.

All of the points where Lando made his gains to Max were on the straights and high speed corners.

Track dominance to show that this is in fact all the straights and the high speed corners. The losses to Max were in the mid and low speed corners.

Now I want to point out that Lando was on older tyres compared to Max for this fastest lap comparison. He did drive early to preserve his tyres and then was seriously pushing on that lap when he tried to make gains to Max.

In equal tyre age Max was about 1/10th faster. His issue was with deg and grip at the end compared to Lando.

I will be interested to see the actual source of this new straight line speed(it may be they have sacrificed a lot more in downforce than we thought). A jump ahead this big is interesting. However it does mean that most of the Mclaren pace is coming from that straight line speed so on tracks with fewer straights and high speed corners they won’t fare quite as well compared to the Ferrari’s and Red Bulls because they are not faster on the low and mid speed corners, and weren’t all weekend. Every gain they made they lost in the corners. It is one of the reasons Max was able to stay ahead and Carlos was able to keep Oscar behind.

For all these fastest lap comparisons I am less interested in the actual lap time, and more so in the track dominance because that is where we are getting the story of where these cars are more competitive against each other.

Just to be fair here is the lap 38 track dominance for both Max and Lando, and here it is for lap 54 so that we are seeing both their best laps and seeing them on similarly aged tyres. And again we see the same pattern of the Mclaren being faster in the straights and the Red Bull taking the corners.

And again this is what I think matters most. Even on a lap where Lando was almost a full second faster than Max he still was not faster on those low speed corners, even with Max struggling. So I think these laps really serve to highlight where the speed and losses are coming from on both these cars.

It is safe to assume that on tracks that rely more heavily on mid to low speed corners and more frequent changes in direction Mclaren will not have the same advantages in speed we saw on this track.

Charles VS Lando

First race pace comparison

The medium stint is almost identical. And the beginning of the hard stint Charles is faster by a few tenths those first 15 laps after pitting. After that Lando gets a slight edge. Charles was pushing, and so was Lando. As you can see they were close. Closer on pace than Max and Lando. Again this really came down to track position. Lando wouldn't have caught Charles if he was ahead, and it's also why Charles couldn't catch Lando.

Fastest lap comparison

Note that Charles was on much newer tyres. Again I think what this really does is highlight key differences in the car performances. And this is most easily seen again in the track dominance map. The straight where Charles is faster here was due to DRS so ignore that.

But I want to compare their laps right out of the pits to account for tyre age, so here is the track dominance for both on the fresh set of hards. And also looking at both their lap 54 track dominance(this was Lando's fastest lap, and not that Charles also got DRS on the straight there)

On the new tyres Charles still has it on the lowest speed corners, and there are more points on the track where they are straight up equal. And again on lap 54 Charles again has those corners compared to Lando.

Now let's look at over all pace between Mclaren and Ferrari as well as fastest laps

You can see that there is no standout fastest car, the amount of overlap here is considerable. (Also the website made Carlos and Oscar both white lines, I know it's confusing but the website would not change it)

The slowest was Carlos and you can see him falling off the most at the end of the hard stint. But the thing I am really interested in is that medium stint overlap is crazy, especially between Charles, Lando and Oscar. And again we see almost identical pace in the first 10-15 laps on the hards.

Full track dominance. Again the biggest thing here is that Charles is ahead on those corners against both Oscar and Lando. Carlos also getting some good straight line speed coming out/going into the low speed corners which again is very promising.

Fastest lap comparison.

Charles and Oscar both had DRS at the start of the lap. The only thing here is just to show how close Charles is to the Mclarens. Even not having that top speed he is still there.

Quick comparison of Charles VS Oscar because I think this will come up in the future. While Oscar had the better qualifying lap his race pace was slightly worse than Charles almost the entire race. Charles was better on the mediums and the hards. There are some areas where they were close, but Charles also had a sizeable gap for a good chunk of laps especially on the hards.

Oscar is fast but he needs to work on his race pace if he wants to be able to catch cars and also not lose places, because looking at this Charles might have been in the window to overtake Oscar had Oscar been ahead.

Top 3 Comparison

So we have looked at teams and individual battles. However everyone has been talking about a triple head to head of Charles vs Lando vs Max. I think that's a bit overexcited. However I do want to look at the top three to see how close it is.

Race pace. Here Max is clearly ahead on the mediums. Then on the hards Charles and Lando are better. The biggest thing here is just the amount of overlap and the margins are very fine.

Again fastest lap. The tyre ages are very different. But again I am more interested in seeing the fastest laps these cars produced and where they did well compared to the others in terms of speed. Sector 2 is where Max started losing to both Charles and Lando, and sector three that gap increased more.

And what is more interesting is the track dominance.

This is what is promising when it comes to actually taking the fight to Max. This track was not great for overtaking, in fact it is a problem at Imola. On a track where overtaking is easier we are going to see more battles if this keeps up. Like the performance of the Ferrari and the Mclaren were better. The difference was Max in that car.

And to compare the same laps to Max's fastest lap we still see the same pattern.

And again corrected for tyre age.

I think this one is also interesting because it still shows that the Ferrari and Mclaren were by far the most dominant. And in all cases the Mclaren had most of the straight line speed, and the Ferrari had the low and mid speed corners but especially the low speed corners.

Now you could do this for every lap, and there are outliers. I picked laps I thought would show the trends we are seeing in these cars. It was difficult to correct for conditions. But you can see that there is a pattern here across multiple laps that's really the takeaway rather than any one lap in particular. Again I really think it was less about the drivers and more about the cars this weekend in particular.

So the big conclusion from this section is we learned something about all three top cars performance parameters. All teams have areas to improve. And the margins are fine. At this point in the season it is going to come down track position and skill.

I think that these next few races will likely reveal more pace or issues on all of these cars so this is really just the beginning. To see things competitive even when conditions were not great for Ferrari or Red Bull is exciting.

Final Thoughts

While there was minimal overtaking this race showed us some key information about the top three cars. And the rest of the season is looking more competitive with every race. It truly feels like we are on the brink of something this season.

That’s all I got, see you at Monaco!

[pokeberry5]

i'm not really sure what the main thrust of this post is, but this yj98 arc has been haunting me literally since I read it months ago, so I've put together a brief(ish) overview of the salient points and the questions it's left me with

aka

that time young justice was sent to a literal intergalactic war front

aka

young justice has even more complex ptsd than you probably thought!!

yj98 #35

the premise is that there's a global war against imperiex, spearheaded by president (blech) luthor. as minors, they can't be drafted into it

(i hunted around and apparently Our Worlds at War, with Imperiex as the big bad, is the broader context, which i didn't feel like reading for this)

instead, they're going to be attached to a "sort of super medical unit" called the "paradocs"

the way they're persuaded to accept their role (instead of?? fighting on the front lines?? jeez kon) is to conceive of themselves as saving active-combat superheroes for their children they're leaving at home (creating an implicit distinction between those children and themselves, which i find sad)

yj is specifically a "search and rescue team"

with a civilian cissie king-jones as their qualified emergency medical technician (so her public persona is an olympic champion, actress, and volunteer veteran of an intergalactic war???)

is cissie the only one performing medical services then? do any of the others pick anything up from her, if these missions last long enough? (do tim and cissie bond as the only non-powered people they know going into a space war?)

yj98 #36

they've run "a couple" successful missions behind enemy lines: what does this mean for the duration of this role?

(i'm not sure if reading Our Worlds at War would help determine how long this all lasted, but if someone who has read it has answers, i'd love to know)

also, were they in space the whole time or going back in between? (i also really really want to know what batman thinks of his protégé being part of a space war. related, did cassie tell her mom??)

---

Superboy Vol 4 #91: War Letters gives some context to this

(kon putting on a brave face!!)

but also:

even as paramedics they were participating in active combat, fighting off scavengers

the lack of specifics, the mention of the fact that he's met "a lot of interesting cats in the field," and of "things" he's seen—there's a sense that he's seen a lot but not enough yet for it to no longer be shocking. or, that what they're seeing is so savage that it never ceases to be shocking.

this also implies that they've met and rescued a slew of people from across the universe. does yj have intergalactic connections? do random alien soldiers remember this small group of earth children that saved them?

this panel also shows kon (and likely the rest of them) amidst recovering jl members. what does the broader jl think of this group of kids in an acknowledged war zone, seeing them beaten down like this? (it's unclear whether kon actually went and rescued kyle rayner here or is just helping him around the medical area, but there must be some sort of lasting impression from this)

they get diverged from their rescue mission and end up on apokolips

bart experiences death when one of his "scouts" is killed—this has a lasting impression on him (addressed later) and kon blames himself, since it was his decision to chase after steel that landed them here. do the two of them ever talk about this? (they don't in yj at least)

---

yj98 #36 contd.

kon's accusation shows that this arc happened right after the drama between batman and the jla during tower of babel (the secret contingency plan drama)

and after batman's betrayal of tim's identity to spoiler (rip tim being betrayed on multiple fronts)

(tim putting on a strong front :'))

i find it interesting that tim considers his state "a world of grays" in contrast to kon's "black and white" attitude. balancing a multitude of considerations is a "world of grays?" anyway, tim staring death in the face and admitting he's scared :')

and then tim gets to watch lil lobo die (he does technically come back but!) and says explicitly that another part of innocence he didn't know he had died with lobo. this can't be his first time witnessing a death given gotham's everything, so is it because this is the first time he's watched a comrade die (and so brutally too)?

yj98 #37

and then! we get extended(?) mental torture on apokolips, enough to drive to tim to attempted homicide (both in the dream world and out of it)

(he was made to watch kon and cassie get murdered brutally in front of him jsyk)

and once he's out:

(does this ever haunt tim? that he almost broke batman's one rule? also parallels with dick beating the joker to death later on tim's behalf)

yj98 #38

the fallout:

we see that after experiencing his scout's death on apokolips, bart's been left with a fear of death strong enough to get him to leave yj (i don't actually know how this gets resolved?? it must happen in his solo bc he just sort of reappears a few mini arcs later...)

("i quit for a bunch of reasons ... but not a single one of them had to do with being afraid i'd get killed," cissie you're sooooo well-adjusted. she doesn't think bart's valid rip)

this is the moment where tim quits yj because he can't deal with their lack of trust (oof) and because“i don’t need the grief of young justice,” referring to everything else going on in tim's life (batman betraying his identity to spoiler)

(he'll lose them later on anyway—does it haunt him that he came back?)

(it's sweet that kon has someone he feels he can talk to and ask advice from)

i'm not sure if tim ever gets that apology

tldr: i kind of want one or more of yj to end up as a paramedic

[3hks]

How to Write the "Black Cat" Character

A trope that's becoming increasingly popular right now is the "Black Cat and Golden Retriever" dynamic! And with good reason: their opposition in character makes such a cute and fun relationship! So today, let's explore the "Black Cat" character and how to write them!

OVERVIEW

The Black Cat is known to be introverted and can seem harsh at times; they tend to avoid people and might not talk a lot. They also dislike showing vulnerability or sensitivity, which results in their genuine emotions getting concealed more often than not. In general, they aren't great at dealing with other people.

DIALOGUE

In general, the "Black Cat" is not known for making a lot of friends and getting along with everyone. One of the main reasons for this is because of their communication, which we'll explore!

**SUBTEXT**

Like I said, this character archetype is not honest about their true feelings towards people. When talking, they have a tendency to avoid or lie about the topics they may find sensitive or don't want to share. Thus, their dialogue isn't all that reliable.

So instead, subtext is the key to portraying their emotions.

They could lie and say, "I'm not scared", but their tenseness and darting eyes betray their words, offering the truth without speaking. Those actions are the subtext.

This creates a contrast between their words and their actions, forming a more dimensional person! I'm not saying that they're dishonest all the time, but they will absolutely make something up if they have to, which makes communication with them just that much harder.

**SPEECH PATTERNS**

Everyone has their distinct speech patterns, and this trope is no different! The "Black Cat" is concise and terse with their speech. They're the type to respond with short, curt answers, which makes holding a conversation difficult because they don't feel the need to butter up their words. As a result, they can be quite blunt.

Obviously, that can pose a problem.

Additionally, more often than not, they're unaware of their ruthless honesty and/or struggle to understand why it could hurt someone.

On the other hand, they may say stuff they do not mean (much like word vomit), which can also be hurtful.

Tone-wise, they tend to have a blanker manner of speaking. Not necessarily in an emotionless way, but they speak more to get their point across than to express their emotions. So naturally, their tone is more consistently calm (or even cold) and involves less emotion.

Lastly, there's vocabulary. These characters are unlikely to use slang and generally don't stutter. They might have a richer vocabulary but also may not show it off when talking.

PERSONALITY

Let's break down some of the standard characteristics of this trope!

**FLAWS**

Blunt

Stubborn (Unwilling to accept help)

Closed off

Lack of communication skills

Struggles with empathy

Sometimes (unnecessarily) mean

Cold/Apathetic

**VIRTUES**

Intelligent

Analytical

Unbiased (Unless it the "Golden Retriever" is involved)

Highly skilled (Or a wide range)

Independent

Responsible

**GENERALIZED TROPES**

Tsundere

Apathetic

Mean/Cold

This is just a quick overview of their characters as a whole; the tsundere generally is softer compared to the other two. Although they act disinterested, they care deep down. On the other hand, an apathetic is one that strongly lacks empathy and emotions. They typically don't care about anything and may or may not be mean--it's up to you! And finally, there's the mean/cold type. Obviously, they have more hostile tendencies but sometimes it's a defense system in which they have no control over.

If you can't tell, this archetype is introverted with a more neutral temperament (it depends on how you write them, but the point is that they aren't all sparkles and butterflies). Most of their struggle consists of connecting with other people and building on that relationship. Normally, this is because they may feel that others weigh them down--especially if they themselves are gifted--or that they don't need anyone else because they can sustain themselves just fine. However, when they are close with someone, they're protective, if not overprotective of them.

**CHARACTER**

Another important aspect to keep in mind is that because the "Black Cat" won't show as much emotion and is considerably more serious, this character can easily seem too robotic. So how do we avoid this? We give them some more personal traits!

For starters, slowly establish any fears and/or weaknesses that your character has. The fact that they have their own vulnerabilities demonstrates that they are still human while adding some depth! I also suggest including backstory and dreams to build onto the dimension.

Following that, when they do open up, I recommend not skimping out when it comes to describing the importance of the moment! It doesn't have to be every time, but it allows you to demonstrate the value of their honest expression! Yes, it's mainly just for fun and fluff, but it doesn't hurt to be a bit dramatic about their elusive smile or laugh!

To finish up, the point of view the story takes place in is also crucial. If you're telling it from the "Black Cat's" POV, you have more access to their thoughts, which is pivotal when developing the character. However, they may be less self-aware about how their demeanor affects others.

On the flip side, if you're telling the story through the eyes of the "Golden Retriever", you get to establish how the other looks from someone else's angle and how they handle such a character.

Personally, I prefer to switch the perspective from time to time to get the full picture!

RELATIONSHIP

Here's the fun part! How does the "Black Cat" and "Golden Retriever" trope really function?

Most of the BC's character development actually happens around their partner or loved ones. This is because alone, they have no reason to change and they're perfectly fine with how they're functioning. However, with the GR, they must put in more effort into communication, opening up, asking for help, etc.

That slowly builds character development!

As expected, in their relationship, the BC is the most reliable and organized of the two, balancing out the GR's more reckless nature. Part of their enjoyability is the sheer opposition in their persona, but they should also break out-of-character for each other every once in a while.

What do I mean?

Well, like I mentioned before, although the BC is stoic and distanced, they should be willing to express their vulnerabilities and might even act uncharacteristically shy with their partner. Conversely, the happy and loveable GR may have serious moments when concerning their loved ones. That's how you can tell they do care about each other and that's what makes this dynamic so cute!

CONCLUSION

To summarize, the "Black Cat" is terrible at dealing with emotions and communication. As a result, their actions speak louder than words, so subtext is vital when their writing dialogue! Most of their development happens around their partner--not everything will change, but that's the beauty of this character!

Guys, I'm SO, SO sorry for uploading less recently; school is a mess right now so I'm trying my best to make it up! Homework is getting a bit overwhelming, and my tennis season is starting so I'm still trying to figure things out. With that being said, fall break is only a week away and I understand very well now that I need to prepare beforehand 😅 I genuinely apologize, and I'll working hard to clean my schedule up!

On a separate note, I appreciate all the asks I've been getting, it makes me so happy, so if you need something, please reach out! Thank you so much for making it all the way to the end, expect a post on writing "Golden Retrievers" soon! ;)

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[lalal-99]

of the big city {h.j.} | track 2

©March 2023, February 2024 by lalal-99

Han Jisung x afab!reader | trope: slice of life, coming of age | word count: 6.9k

Synopsis: The one where uni starts and you meet some interesting people.

Check Chapter Overview for complete list of warnings

Note: The next chapters are gonna be much shorter, I promise. The overwork is going smoothly so far, I have the next chapter ready and will probably post beginning of next week. I also wrote two whole new chapters this week which I'm very proud of. I really hope I can finish this story this time around :)

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people. Thank you :)

Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You!

“Baby? Do you have some paper for me?”

With an annoyed eye roll you ripped a page from your new notebook, smoothing over the edges of the torn binder. You pushed the single page over towards him with reluctance.

“You forgot your notebook on the first day already?”

And to think notebooks and pens were the main reason you had gone to the store yesterday.

“Don’t blame me. You know I’m not a morning person. And you didn’t want to wake me up with sex, so...” The smugness in his voice made you wonder if he actually thought he had won this discussion. You raised your eyebrows at him, hinting at the thinness the metaphorical ice on which he was walking.

You usually didn’t get annoyed that easy. If you had, your relationship sure as hell wouldn’t have lasted this long. The reason: Jisung and his lack of understanding social cues. To take the hint and not bother you any further when you were already frustrated, all it took was a look.

Although he wasn’t the reason for your irritation today. Or at least not the sole one.

It was the first day of university, so naturally, you were a little on edge. Whatever happened from this day on would decide over the paths your life took in the future. It was a step you had waited so long to take but dreaded all the same. Jisung, as your loving boyfriend, should have known how much this meant to you.

Sometimes, you speculated if he did it on purpose. Rile you up when you were anxious to give you something to put your focus on instead. His intentions might have been sweet, but this wasn’t taking any tension off your shoulders. Jisung forgetting his notebook and blaming you for it, even as a joke, could have likely been the last straw.

“Baby?” As you looked back at him, you noticed his cute pout. It was almost cute enough to make you forget what you had been so annoyed about a minute earlier. “Do you also have a spare pen? And some highlighters would be nice, too.”

Shaking your head at Jisung, you let out a snort. So he hadn’t forgotten just his notebook, but his pen and highlighter too? Got it. Very unwillingly, you handed him the items. You thankfully always had a spear set in case of emergency. Or, in this case, your boyfriend’s scatterbrain you had been dealing with for many years already.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He blew you a playful kiss, thanking you for your service. “Don’t let this become a habit. I’m not piggybacking you through university as I did in High School. Understood?”

As much as you loved him, Jisung had his fair share of annoyances. Like his living-in-the-moment type of attitude. A contrast to your thoroughly organised persona, you usually appreciated your differences. Without his Yin, your Yang wouldn’t shine as bright and vice versa.

That still didn’t change that you wouldn’t be his personal secretary this time around.

Jisung was old enough to care for himself and not rely on his girlfriend for every one of his needs. Whether it was some paper and pens, your skillfully crafted cue cards, or an all-nighter before one of his final exams. How ever you had talked him into studying for that one anyways.

“I love you, too.”

If he only weren’t so damn cute.

Out of pure principle you ignored his comment with an unintentional snicker. You continued your draft outline on your first notebook page—your attempt of getting a head start on future lecture notes—thus almost missing the voice chatting up Jisung.

“I’m taking you won’t be sleeping in the dorm a lot, will you?”

The depth of the second voice made you look up from your notebook. As the light shone into the room from behind the boy, it almost blinded you. Once your eyes got used to the brightness, you could finally make out a lean figure. He set a reusable coffee cup on the desk next to Jisung before sliding onto the wooden chair.

The boy was clad in comfortable attire, loose hanging jeans paired with a simple t-shirt. His long, blonde hair messily framed his face, a green beanie rounding off his skater-boy look. Something told you he had more to himself than what his cover showed. The several silver rings on his fingers could have been the reason for your suspicion. Or it was how he carried himself—a perfect line leading from his soles to the tip of his head. In exact contradiction to your boyfriend’s slouching posture.

“Morning to you too, sunshine.” The smirk in Jisung’s tone indicated his playfulness and a sense of closeness. “Why do you care? You’re not in love with me, are you?”

“No,” the boy scoffed, his bag placed neatly under the table. “I just wondered if I can stop waiting up for you or if I will have to identify your corpse at some point.”

Looking past Jisung, the boy noticed your presence, sending you a heart-warming smile. The freckles all over his nose and cheeks juxtaposed the darkness of his voice and over-all looks. Something about his aura relaxed you, his company drenching his atmosphere in happiness.

“Hi, I’m Felix!”

“I’m Y/N. I’m Jisung’s-”

“Girlfriend. Yeah, I know. He talks about you a lot.”

Jisung leaned in closer to you, though he kept his voice at the same volume, “Be careful, baby. He’s very much in love with me already. I might leave you for him.”

“You can have him.” You leaned past your boyfriend, directly addressing Felix. “But make sure to always have a spare pen and paper. And also a spare pair of pants.” The scene from earlier this morning came back to mind, a teasing look creeping onto your face. “He might say he can care for himself, but he will wear your leggings and pink baby-girl crop top when there’s no alternative.”

“Good to know,” Felix replied with a deep chuckle, amused by the picture you had painted. He ran his hands through his blonde hair, showing off his ears and all the piercings. Okay, so, definitely not a skater-boy-type.

“You might be joking now.” Jisung threw a know-all look in your direction. “But you won’t be laughing when I wear your fishnets to your grandpa’s next birthday.”

“Don’t you dare put on my fishnets! They were expensive.”

“That’s alright. We’re about the same size, so he can wear mine.” Felix’s words came unexpected and not even Jisung couldn’t conceal his amusement.

“Great, there’s two of you now. Is it too late to drop out?”

In all the years you had known him, Jisung rarely ever made friends this easy. Not even a week on campus, and he had gotten close enough to Felix to joke in his usual manner. How they had even gotten this close when Jisung had spent most of the day at your place was a mystery to you. Still, the little time they had spent together was enough to have discovered a mutual hobby—catching Pokémon. As they argued over who had found the rarest creature, you picked up your previous task. Though that didn’t stop your joy in finding that Jisung had made a friend. And a nice one at that.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but Jisung had never been particularly good at making friends. Not before meeting you and not afterwards either.

Most of all, you blamed the lack of a ‘do not say’-filter in his conversational skills. His openness posed an obstacle to making new acquaintances—or at least it had many times before. After years of getting side-eyed or complained about, he had stopped talking to new people all together. Like he already expected the sole attempt to make connection to backfire. The few relationships he had formed despite his shyness had been pure luck. And your very own relationship only existed due to your perseverance.

That Jisung had already befriended Felix, at least as much as possible in three days, put you in a bright mood. One of your biggest fears about moving was your boyfriend rooming with someone he didn’t get along with. With someone as talkative and easily compatible as Felix, Jisung would likely not be clinging to you as much. Which wouldn’t have been the worst scenario, but still.

With every passing minute the lecture hall filled more. When something sharp scratched your shin, your head finally snapped towards one of the new-comers. A blonde girl had sat down next to you, and you found the culprit when you noticed her pink heels.

“Oh my God. Did I hit you? I’m so sorry.” Her hand came to her mouth in shock as she apologised a couple of times. You rubbed over the sensitive skin which was already bruising from when you had hit that crate of boxes yesterday. Talk about unfortunate accidents. You pushed the urge to groan at the pain down, forcing a smile onto your face instead. “It’s those dang heels. I knew I should have worn the sneakers today.”

“It’s fine. Surprised me, that’s all.” Embarrassment reached over her cheeks to her ears, a frown painting her face. “No worries.”

For a few seconds she hesitated but finally accepted your willingness to let it go. Out of the corner of your eye, you followed her as she unloaded the contents of her purse. She pulled out a torn notepad and a vintage-leather pencil case, which must have seen better days. She reached back into her designer bag, face distraught as her search came up empty.

She tried grabbing the attention of two boys on her right side, tied deep into their conversation. When she eventually realised she had no other option, her gaze tiptoed towards you. “Sorry to bother you again.” Teeth nibbling at her lip, she forced herself to get over her embarrassing mistake seconds earlier. “Do you have a pen I can borrow?”

Even if your shin had hurt worse, you would have still helped her out. With a genuine smile, you nodded, searching your pencil case and then your bag.

“I wanted to grab one before leaving my room, but I noticed a stain on my shirt and needed to change it. So, I forgot about the pen,” the girl recounted her morning ventures. “I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” you assured her. Your smile turned to an apologetic scowl once you realised you couldn’t help her out after all. “I’m sorry. I always carry at least one extra pen, but scatterbrain next to me left his head in bed this morning.”

“You talking ‘bout me?”

Jisung, who you hadn’t expected to react to the mention of his unflattering nickname, turned to you.

“Hey, Felix,” you called the boy two seats from yours, ignoring your boyfriend. “Do you happen to have a spare pen?”

“Sure. I always carry an extra one in case.”

“Interesting. So, some people do use their heads before leaving the house.” It was a reproachful remark addressed to Jisung and his forgetfulness, and he caught the meaning.

“Some people do use their heads before leaving the house,” he scrunched his nose, teasing you by mimicking your voice and repeating your previous words as you snickered. Your perfect boyfriend, everyone.

Felix handed the pen from his jacket past you, the girl accepting it with a thankful smile.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“I usually go by Felix. But lifesaver is good, too.”

The girl giggled, before introducing herself, “I’m Yuqi. I live in the student housing off campus. You know, the ones next to that coffee shop with the green doors. It’s open 24/7. Genius marketing move, right?” Biting her lip after that info dump, you noticed her nose doing a little scrunch. “Sorry. I talk a lot.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Jisung joked, your elbow gracing his rib at his sarcasm. You wondered if there would ever come a day you didn’t have to act as his personalised filter.

“Don’t listen to the idiot next to me,” you declared, “I find it charming.”

“Me, too,” Felix agreed, and Yuqi relaxed. It told you that she usually didn’t get that reaction when spraying words like a waterfall.

“I live in the same building.”

Excitement took over her features. “What? No way! Which room?”

“B4.”

Yuqi shrieked, her hand touching your arm, “I’m B12! That makes us floormates.”

“I guess it does.” Yuqi was the first person you met who lived in the same building that wasn’t your roommate or her girlfriend. “I’m Y/N. And this,” you thumbed back at your boyfriend, “this is Jisung.”

“Hi,” he greeted her with an awkward wave.

“Nice to meet you all.”

With that, Yuqi picked up her purse, pulling out an old folder. Well, it appeared to be rather new, but the edges were already torn, some of the plastic cover coming off the corners. The latter especially gave you an ick, and you forcefully pushed down the urge to smooth over them. You could handle some chaos, even if this was a lot.

Good thing, Yuqi spoke up again, giving something different to concentrate on.

“What’s your major?”

“I’m doing Business Admin.” Before you could return the question, Yuqi already reacted, hand touching your biceps in excitement.

“No freakin’ way! I’m in Marketing.” The delight in her voice was addictive as you couldn’t help a grin pulling on your lips. “See, I even wore the perfect outfit for our first lecture later today.”

Yuqi leaned back, giving you a better look at her clothing.

She was in a pair of white jeans, a rosé-coloured blouse adorning the upper half of her lean figure. A single, thin gold necklace decorated her neckline, fitting the two golden earrings. The one thing that stood out in that well-rounded outfit was her other earrings. About a dozen of them decorated both ears from the dainty top to the slim bottom. To round the fit off, she wore a pair of light-pink high heels. The very same that had already made acquaintance with your shin.

“Pretty, right?”

“Very girlboss,” you agreed in earnest. Your own clothes contrasted her colourful optics, made up of mostly black items.

“I’m so glad I’m not the only girl in the classes.” There was a hint of playful disgust in her statement, making you chuckle. “All the other people I met who are in Business were boys. Not that boys are bad or anything. I love boys. But they can be—a lot.”

“I get it. I lived with three boys back home. Well, technically, my dad is a man,” you air-quoted, “but where’s the difference, right?” Yuqi chuckled. “It’s nice to have a girl around every once in a while.”

Yuqi reached for her coffee cup as her gaze wandered to the grey haired middle-aged man who entered the room. He walked up to the desk at the end of the hall, his briefcase landing on the table with a loud thud.

With that, you straightened up, pen in hand and ready to take notes the second your prof opened his mouth.

05:23 PM: Hey, are you studying in the dorm tonight?—Y/N 05:25 PM: No. The place is all yours :)—Hwasa 05:25 PM: Is lover boy coming over again ;)—Hwasa 05:26 PM: He’s hanging out with his roommate tonight... Bonding. I’m thinking about inviting a friend over. I met her at orientation earlier this week—Y/N 05:27 PM: Sounds fun—Hwasa 05:27 PM: Anything special planned?—Hwasa 05:27 PM: Not yet. Maybe eat something and a movie? Explore the city?—Y/N 05:28 PM: You wanna explore this bar Joey’s? I’m meeting some friends there later. Happy Hour starts at 8—Hwasa 05:29 PM: You sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude—Y/N 05:29 PM: I told you I’d be taking you out one of these days—Hwasa 05:30 PM: Texting you the address right now!—Hwasa

Stepping through the dark wooden doors, a wall of warmth hit you like a thick blanket.

It had gotten colder the past few days, fall beginning to hit the city. You took off your scarf, looking around the place in search of the familiar, pretty face.

This place seemed to be the city’s hotspot, every table packed to full capacity. Red velveteen clad the round tables right by the entrance, the seating options becoming wider once you reached the back. Couches fanned out in random patterns all over the dark oak floor. The furniture’s vintage finish further accented the brown parquet.

You felt like you had stepped straight into a movie scene.

The wave of a dainty hand over the crowd’s heads caught your attention as you spotted your roommate in the back. You grabbed Yuqi by the hem of her sleeve, dragging her behind you as you made your way to the group of girls with a smile.

“Hello,” you greeted the table once you had gotten close enough for them to see you.

Hwasa hugged you in bliss, almost tipping over the drink in front of her, “Hi! I’m so glad you could make it.” As she noticed Yuqi, she pulled her in for another warm embrace, “Nice to meet you! I’m Hwasa.”

“Yuqi,” your friend replied, joy written on her face at the enthusiastic welcome.

Knowing Hwasa and her usual calm persona, you knew she must have already taken full advantage of Happy Hour.

“Nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself to the two unfamiliar faces, sending Wheein a quick nod as she met it with a smile.

The two girls with your roommate and her girlfriend couldn’t have been much older than them. The first had straight black hair reaching the bottom of her back, at least from what you could tell. The other sported a short grey bob. It highlighted her sharp jaw in what you could only describe as a tomboy-ish look. Like Wheein and Hwasa, they were beautiful and made you somewhat self-conscious. You shouldn’t have come here unprepared, or put on mascara, at least.

First to introduce herself was the black-haired girl, her smile almost blinding you. “Hi, I’m Solar.”

An extraordinary name for an extraordinary beautiful person. Fitting. In your mind, there was no doubt she made people of any gender fall in love with her the moment she stepped into a room. Her calm, almost carefree aura was truly something else.

“And I’m Byul.” She was just as pretty, though in a less traditional sense. A boyish charm surrounded her, though her blazer hinted at a seriousness to her person. She looked—important.

You introduced yourself and Yuqi, pulling out the two remaining chairs. They must have fought off several people to reserve these. “Are you students, too?”

“We used to be,” Solar explained as she emptied her tulip-coloured drink.

The girls seemed to have stocked up on various drinks; more glasses than people were at the table. If the drinks were half as good as they looked, you’d be in for a long night.

“We graduated last year,” the black-haired beauty continued, bumping shoulders with Hwasa. “I used to be Hwasa’s roommate, actually.”

“I didn’t even notice!” Hwasa giggled, thus proving your assumption about the amount of alcohol consumed before your arrival. “She’s my ex, and you’re my next.”

You chuckled in amusement, reaching for the menu at the edge of the table. The faux leather was soft beneath your fingertips as you skimmed over the Happy Hour options. When your eyes landed on your favourite drink, a smile spread on your lips as you handed the menu over to Yuqi.

“They have Long Island Ice Tea in three different flavours?” Yuqi exclaimed, the scenic buzz of this place rubbing off on her. Not that she wasn’t this emotional about almost anything. “Would it be very immature to try them all tonight?”

“Not at all. I am browsing through the new offers myself. We can get drunk together.”

Not a fair fight. Hwasa had already gotten a head start.

You called over the waiter by raising your hand, and he headed for your table not a minute later. He raised an unintentional eyebrow at the consumption level—One Mojito, three Long Island Ice Teas and another Piña Colada and Gin Tonic. Even so, the boy sent you a smile, spinning around and wandering back to the bar.

Once he was gone, Hwasa swiftly emptied her previous drink. All it took was one strong sip through her straw, and the Tonic and ice was gone. The coldness reached her brain soon after, prompting her eyes to grow wider—like those of a comic-book figure.

“Babe, you should slow down,” Wheein suggested with a chuckle. But her girlfriend waved her off.

“I’m fine. Also, I don’t have any courses tomorrow, so I have the whole day to sleep off that hangover I’ll be having.”

“Great. I’ll remind you when you’re hugging the toilet seat later.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Mhm.” Wheein didn’t seem uber-convinced Hwasa would keep her promise but let it go anyways.

As the girls went back to their previous conversation, you tried your best to follow them.

You understood that Solar was passed over for a big promotion at her job and that she was convinced, her boss was sleeping with her opponent.

“What do you do for work?” Yuqi’s question took the words right out of your mouth.

“I am an assistant buyer at a small fashion label,” Solar explained, making you look at Hwasa in surprise.

“Don’t you also study fashion?” Taking a sip from her already empty glass, she nodded in silence. You frowned when you noticed her uncomfortable look at Wheein following your words. There must have been some form of backstory, and the last thing you wanted was to make things awkward. Instead you attempted correcting your mistake. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

Passing a few glances around the table, Byul finally spoke up. “Our cutie Hwasa here used to study Chemistry full-time. She developed a small crush on Solar in her second year, so, she changed majors to spend more time with her.”

It took a moment to dawn on you why Wheein and Hwasa had reacted the way they did.

“Yes, but I hadn’t met my love then.” Hwasa bobbed her girlfriend’s nose, pouting to cheer her up. After a few seconds, Wheein couldn’t stop her frown from turning into a giggle. They were just the cutest.

“You’re a little drunk, aren’t you?”

“Drunk of love!”

“I stand corrected. You’re absolutely hammered.”

Playfully nudging her girlfriend, Wheein relaxed, emptying her own drink. Non-alcoholic, from what you had gathered.

“Anyways, since Solar is into boys only—”

“Men,” Solar interrupted her friend with a sigh. “I stopped dating boys a long time ago. They never know where to put things.”

“Sorry, since Solar is into men only,” Byul corrected, her eyes meeting yours again, “that didn’t work out. Now Hwasa is stuck with fashion. She met Wheein not too long after.”

“That’s right!”

The enthusiasm in her reaction made Hwasa finally tip over her glass. The melted ice cubes went all over the table, the cool liquid running down the sides. Some of it landed on your jeans, so while Hwasa apologised profusely, you called over the waiter a second time in five minutes.

A moment later, the young man rushed over with your drinks, handing you a towel to dry yourself. It didn’t go by you that his gaze focused on you for a few extra beats, but you ignored it. Your returned the now moist towel with kindness and he left with a light blush.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that.” Solar’s caught your attention by the touch of her hand as she nodded towards the waiter.

“Notice what?”

“That the waiter was flirting with you,” she explained, looking around the table. “You noticed too, didn’t you?”

Byul agreed, “Sure did.”

“You’re not one of those girls who are, like, super slow on cues, right?” You chuckled at her question, shaking your head.

“No, I noticed, too.”

The confusion on the beauty’s face made you chuckle a little. “So what, then? He’s cute. Get his number.”

“Nah, I’m good.” You waived her off, taking a sip from your fresh drink. The rum burned down your throat, the lime juice and sugar adding a bittersweet taste to it. “Also, I don’t think my boyfriend would be particularly happy with me asking other men for their number.”

If everyone’s focus hadn’t been on you already, it sure was now.

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Very much so, yes.”

Solar seemed surprised by the information.

“Is it serious? I mean, you obviously shouldn’t cheat on him. But you are at university. If you don’t explore and get to know yourself now, when will you get another chance?”

You took another sip to ease the discomfort from being the center of attention. Not exactly where you usually were. “We’ve been together for five years. I’d say that’s pretty serious.” That did the trick, her mouth now agape in shock. She leaned in closer to you, cradling her chin in her palm.

“Five years? So, you’re High School Sweet Hearts?”

“Middle School, actually.”

“Is he any hot?” Yuqi interrupted, also leaning in further. How your relationship had become the talk of the whole table had gone right by you.

“What do you mean? You met him at orientation. He sat right next to me.”

“No way! That’s your boyfriend?” You hummed, agreeing. “But you called him dumbass like 5 times in one hour.”

“I did, but it’s more a term of endearment. I call Jisung dumbass; he calls me stupid. It’s a whole thing.”

As soon as you had cleared that up, Solar was back at it, hitting you with question after question.

“Wait, but like, for real. You’ve never been with anyone else since Middle School?”

You shook your head, correcting her statement. “I’ve never been with anyone else ever.”

Usually, you never talked about yourself and your relationship this much. You were rather private in that sense, though, you also understood their curiosity. It wasn’t every day that you met someone who had been with the same person since they were 14. You understood the length of your relationship was uncommon for someone your age.

“So, he’s your first boyfriend?”

“Yup.”

“So, you never kissed anyone else? Had sex with anyone else?” Byul further interrogated, now also fully invested in your love life. That you had only met the girls maybe 20 minutes ago seemed irrelevant. Not like you hadn’t seen that question coming sooner or later.

You agreed with a nod. “I never wanted anyone else.”

“How do you even maintain a relationship for that long?” Yuqi budded in again, her focus different from the older women’s. “My longest relationship lasted 4 months, and then I got tired of him.” For some reason, her statement made so much sense to you. Yuqi definitely needed constant excitement to fill her heart. “What’s your secret.”

You thought about it before answering shortly, “Shared trauma, maybe?” When no one laughed at your words, you backtracked. Your honesty might have been too much for them after all. “That was a joke. Obviously. We have a lot in common and went through similar stuff in life.”

It became quiet for a few seconds, though you sensed that Solar was holding back. Whatever she might have had dancing on the tip of her tongue, she took her sweet time wording it in her pretty head.

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way.” Always a great way to start a sentence. “If the shoe fits, tie that bitch up. But you’re in college now. This is your time to explore your interests—your options. No one comes out of college the way they go in. It’s a life-changing experience.”

“So, I should cheat on my boyfriend, is what you’re saying?” You started getting a little defensive now that your love life appeared to be under attack. All the attention got uncomfortable as much as you understood where it was coming from.

“That’s not what I was saying at all.” Some of the tension fell from your shoulders. “I’m saying people change. So, don’t be surprised if your boyfriend and you don’t work out.” Still not the direction you wanted this conversation to go. But Solar continued anyway. “Take Byul, for example.”

Solar leaned back, her hand coming to her friend’s shoulder.

“Byul started college, wanting to become a lawyer.” Byul nodded, agreeing. Her blazer somehow made more sense now. “She finished her degree and opened her own music production studio not two months later. And Hwasa—” With that, Solar went on to your roommate, who threw her a playful wink. “The first year of college, she cycled between so many partners, we were certain, she’d end up pregnant or with an STD. And look at her now.”

From how lovingly Hwasa was gazing at Wheein, there was no doubt in your mind that she had happily moved on from those days.

“And when Wheein started college,” Solar continued her list, “she was straight as a ruler. Do you see what I’m saying?”

“I do.”

And it was the truth. You understood that most people used college to find their path in life. The women around you were the best example for it. All four of them had found their place in the world, who they wanted to be, through university. You didn’t doubt that whatever had happened to them was necessary for them to grow into the women they were today.

At the same time, you knew your life better than anyone else at this table. You remembered every little thing you had gone through together, with Jisung. You understood how his mind worked. What he struggled with and how to get him through it emotionally—you had witnessed most of it with your own eyes.

And there was nothing one-sided about it either. There was no doubt in your mind that the same went for Jisung. He knew you like the palm of his hand—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m still very sure we are not gonna break up.”

“I hope you don’t.” Yuqi finally came to your rescue, cutting the tensive atmosphere. “He’s adorable.”

Thankfully, Solar accepted it as the end of story. She sat back as Yuqi diverted the conversation from you to Byul, asking her about her work at the studio. You calmed down as the centre of attention drew from you and towards the ins and outs of the music industry. When Hwasa playfully bumped her shoulder into yours, you looked up at her. A teasing wink showcased her support and affection. And probably her drunkenness.

“Sorry about her. Solar can be very straightforward, but she has a good soul. She’s a realist, and very openly so.”

“It’s alright,” you told her, taking your glass and a huge sip of your Mojito. “I know most relationships at our age don’t last. But we’re solid as a rock. It’d need a tsunami to separate us.”

You hoped the rest of the night would go a little less awkward than this. Though, as the alcohol ultimately entered your system, you soon forgot about the whole conversation.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

A second later Hwasa bent over the nearest bush.

“What happened?”

“She got sick,” you explained the situation as you used your hair tie to fixate Hwasa’s long locks behind her neck. “You good?”

Hwasa wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and nodded as she stumbled towards the housing entrance. Wheein supported her other side, the two of you exchanging concerned looks.

“Is she gonna be alright?”

“I think so. It usually takes a glass of water and an aspirin, and she’ll be back to her old self.” You didn’t doubt Wheein knew how her girlfriend usually handled alcohol. “I’m gonna take her to my room to make sure. It’s closer to the bathroom, and I don’t have a roommate she could disturb.”

“You have a single room?” Yuqi questioned in surprise. Her enthusiasm after midnight was still higher than yours had been all evening. “Man, I should become dorm supervisor next year.”

“It has its perks.”

Yuqi took over once you had reached your room, holding up Hwasa so they could lead her to her girlfriend’s room.

“Good night. Call me if you need help,” you told Wheein, who nodded thankfully.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” After Yuqi had bidden her goodbye, you turned to your door, entering the four-digit code to unlock it.

Once inside, you rid yourself of your shoes, turning the lights on as you set your bag down by your dresser.

A groan came from your bed, making you jump and stumble back against the wooden cupboard. Your blanket moved at the disturbance, a bulge the size of a grown person appearing underneath it. It took a mop of familiar brown hair to calm you as you realise that not an intruder had overtaken your bed.

“Dang it! Jisung, you creep! You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Noticing the tired haze in his eyes, you strolled over to him. You slid next to his torso as your hand reached for his chubby cheek, grazing his skin. It woke him up, your action met with a sigh and his head leaning comfortably against your palm.

Under the blanket, you noticed his shirt, which didn’t even begin to cover his bulging biceps. It took you a moment to recognise why it didn’t fit him like his other clothes usually did.

“Are you wearing my crop top again?” Amusement laced your tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You almost didn’t understand him, his vague mumbling blurrier than typical. He must have been asleep for a while.

“What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to hang out with Felix tonight.” You took out your earrings, neatly placing them on the small nightstand by your bed. “What happened to bonding with your roomie?”

“We hung out for four hours,” he explained with a yawn. “Then I came over because I missed you.”

Running your hand down the side of his face, he grabbed it as soon as he could reach it. He brought it to his lips to give your skin a quick peck.

“Now, come to bed, so we can sleep.”

“I need to get changed and brush my teeth first.”

“I can help you get out of your clothes. And I don’t care if your breath stinks.”

“I care.” You got off your bed to rush through your evening routine so you could fall into your love’s arms already. Yet, your intentions were rudely interrupted. “What the heck!”

Before you could take a step, Jisung’s arm snapped out from beneath your blanket, pulling you back. You couldn’t react fast enough as he dragged you into a lying position next to him, still fully clothed.

“See? I don’t care.”

“What about the light?”

Lifting his head off your pillow, he grabbed the tissue box from your nightstand and tossed it at the light switch. You didn’t know when he had suddenly learned to aim, but it hit smack-bang in the middle, shutting off all the light in your room.

“I gotta admit, that was impressive.”

“Now, let’s get you out of those clothes.”

You giggled as he effortlessly opened the button and zipper of your pants and dragged them down your legs. He tossed them towards the end of the bed, to be dealt with tomorrow. Next was your top, which he swiftly brought over your head, throwing it to join the rest of your clothes.

“If you only cleaned as quick as you undress me.”

“Everybody has their own forté.” You snickered at his words, closing the gap between you. “I could also be way quicker than that. We haven’t had sex in a week. Right now, your clothes are my nemesis.”

The heat of his body caught you in a warm hug, “A week already, huh?”

“8 days and 7 hours, to be exact. But who’s counting?” His arm came around you, scooting you closer so your back pressed flat against his chest.

“You wanna reset that clock?”

“Nah,” he brushed your suggestion off. “I’m way too tired to have sex right now.”

“Tomorrow then?”

“About that.” His hot breath fanned over your neck. “I know it’s date night, but there’s this party I was invited to. I thought we could go to that instead.”

“A party?” It was the first week of university. How had your introverted boyfriend already been invited to a party? You should have probably seen the answer coming. “Whose?”

“I think you know.”

Of course, you knew. How could you not when his parties had been legendary even back in the day? Though, until now, you had suppressed his present at this campus all together. His being the one who shalln’t be named.

You thought about Jisung’s suggestion for a second.

Sure, a party would intervene with your bi-weekly date night. And, on top of that, it was organised by someone, you didn’t know how to approach after everything that had gone down. But this was university, after all. And, as Solar had said before: University is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So, why the heck shouldn’t you go to a party?

“So? What do you say?”

“Fine.” Jisung’s previously unbothered expression turned into a smile as he grazed his lips to your neck. “Just... Don’t tell your sister we’re going. I’m not sure she would appreciate us hanging out with her ex.”

“Lying to my sister? Who are you, and what did you do to my girlfriend?” A yawn hit your ear, your face scrunching at the unwanted ASMR session. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

As Jisung slipped into a deep slumber, your mind raced through the events of your day. It usually did at the end of the day, your mind too tired to do anything productive but too awake to rest. The silence around you allowed you to remember an earlier text message you never got to answer.

Pulling your arm out of your boyfriend’s iron hold on your body, you reached for your phone on the nightstand.

Your dad had sent you a voice message about three hours earlier when you had still been at the bar. You pushed the play button and brought the phone to your ear to not disturb Jisung’s beauty sleep. By all means, he needed it. Or so he said.

“Hi, honey. It’s dad. I hope you had a lovely day and aren’t studying too hard already.” You smiled at his words, knowing it was one of his biggest hopes for you to get some time to yourself. “Remember what I told you when you left? Live a little!” A pause as he was seemingly picking up something from the ground. “I just wanted to ask when you were coming home Friday. I’m planning brunch with you two and Jia, so if you could be here by noon, that’d be great.”

Friday was the day after tomorrow. You hadn’t forgotten you’d be going back home for the weekend, but you sure hoped the party tomorrow wouldn’t keep you up all night. If you had to be home by noon, you’d have to leave campus by ten. And after a party, like you expected this one to be, you prayed you and a certain someone wouldn’t be too hungover.

“Anyways, sleep tight, and have a lovely night. We miss you!”

A second voice appeared in the background, not too far from your father’s, and your heart skipped a happy beat. The words were harder to make out as he was munching on an apple, cereal, or something else crunchy.

Still, there wouldn’t come a day you wouldn’t understand his babbling.

“Come home soon, please! Mhpf—I miss you, mommy.”

With a loving smile plastered on your face, you replied with a heart emoji. After such a perfect goodnight-messaged, you’d be sleeping like a stone tonight.

Next Chapter >>> Let me know if you want to be tagged. Make sure you have an age indicator in your profile.

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[andy-wm]

Who is Jimin?

A visual analysis of Jimin's SERENADE Concept Photos for MUSE

Post 1 in a series of 4 posts

[I started writing this before the album was released, and it's turned into a behemoth with linked posts and annotated photographs and way too much information - I get overly invested and excited about this stuff. What staarted as a light overview is now a series of posts that might be of no interest to anyone but me. So if you get part way through and wonder what possessed me - totally understandable - I don't know either hahaha.]

Introduction - a look back.

Jimin's album MUSE followed on directly after FACE, an album that represented an intensely introspective period in his life.

In making FACE Jimin harnessed, dissected, and laid out experiences and emotions from the COVID era that represented a dark and depressing time for him. He had many difficult moments to confront. I believe the creation of FACE was an empowering experience for Jimin. He made peace with his pain and loss and - maybe for the first time - honestly and boldly spoke his mind. He didn't shy away from the uncomfortable or difficult conversations he needed to have, and he was stronger for that.

Moving on from FACE, I believe Jimin had a newfound determination and confidence about revealing his true feelings. He even felt compelled, perhaps, to continue speaking his truth. In this frame of mind, he brought us MUSE.

While there's a lot to say in the arguement for and against the autobiographical nature of MUSE, I'm not going into that here.

This post is specifically about the SERENADE concept photos that accompanied the album.

Portraits of Jimin

While there's no doubt we have seen many, many photos of all the members of BTS, there's a clear distinction between a candid photo of somebody, and a concept photo that represents themes or aesthetics of an album, and a portrait of an individual AS THEMSELF.

I believe strongly that these five images go beyond being concept photos for the album and are in fact portraits of Jimin as a person. One of the reasons I believe this, is that there's a darkness and cynicism in these images that isn't in MUSE. Another reason is that the narrative of these five images matches the transformation we have seen in Jimin recently more than it matches the narrative of the album.

To me they represent his journey, starting as an idol and moving through his experience creating FACE and then MUSE. In these portraits we see him throw off the limitations and pressures he had placed upon himself and returned to his fans and the stage determined to be true to himself.

The photos in sequence

I think we all tend to shuffle through concept photos and pick our favourites - the images that are most charming or those that speak to our aesthetic or understanding of the person are the ones we focus on, and we may not pay as much attention to the collection as a whole.

While these concept photos do work perfectly well individually, when viewed as a sequence they are profoundly more meaningful.

Moving through the photos and reading them as portaits of Jimin - as his character and self-image develop - they take us on a journey of our own.

They take us on a journey with Jimin as he tranforms from the idol to the artist.

Below is a brief summary of the images. A more detailed analysis of the elements of these five portraits can be found in this post .... because, yes I got completely carried away.

Image 1 - Jimin The Perfect Man (the Idol)

Jimin is shown as the perfect, flawless idol. Every aspect of him is honed to create the image of an ideal man. He's even on a pedistal.

But what he gains in beauty and refinement, he loses in personality. In this image he lacks any of the individual charms that tell us who he is as a person. Even the elements that are included to give us clues to his character - the guitar and the flowers - are reduced to decorative elements in a very static composition. He really is an anonymous construct, from his action-figure stance to his universally appealing masculine suit.

Another thing to note is that the whole compostion is reminiscent of a music box figurine.

This reinforces the 'perfect Jimin' as a character/figure that represents an 'ideal type' and performer rather than representing himself.

Image 2: Jimin The Prince

While this second portrait has a lot in common with the first image - being highly structured composition, very formal, generic staged environment - and it plays into the concept of 'an ideal' again, it is a completely different representation of Jimin.

The change of both outfit and pose show that he is becoming more than an anonymous, but beautiful, man in a suit. He moves on from representing an ideal everyman to appearing in the uniform of a performer.

This stunning uniform, with its sophisticated lines and jewel-like embellishments, does seem like an outfit he might have chosen personally. In this way the image reveals a little more about Jimin himself.

The regal uniform also reveals his status AND his intentions:

Based on the quality and style of this superior/oppulent uniform and those boots - he is not only looks high class (read:expensive), but he's showing all his charms and presnting himself perfectly. He is still aiming to please his audience.

Compositionally, the image is not as static as [image 1]. In this photo he looks like he is about to stand up and move out of the frame. The more dynamic pose makes him look more lively, and shows off his body and athleticism. Look at his elegant posture and his long legs!

The flowers are very important here - they are the central element of the image, and the way he cradles them in his lap indicates they have meaning unlike in the first image where they were purely decorative.

In both these portraits, Jimin is looking past the camaera. [Image 1] shows him staring blankly into space, but in [image 2] he is clearly looking at/for something (or someone...note the flowers)

I believe that this image of Jimin shows us an idealised man and a consumate performer, biut the flowers are a heavy hint that he has his own driving needs. And one of those needs is LOVE.

Image 3: Jimin The Musician

Here we see Jimin engaged with his passion - making music. While he's aware of us watching him, he is paying no attention to the camera. He merely allows us to observe him.

The styling of this portrait is styling is much more true to life -it's a candid shot - and shows him as an individual doing what he loves.

The circular stage and drapery are an exact mirror of the little stage he was elevated on in [image 1]. You can see that he has moved from being a figure atop the music box, to being the musician inside the music box.

His outfit also changes from a dress unform to a working uniform (still a uniform, telling us this is what he does for a job) and the fact that his jacket is undone tells us this space is not intended for an audience - accordingly, he is not trying to look perfect.

Importantly, the open jacket reveals something more personal too - Jimin's undershirt.

This is a feminine style garment. The scoop neck and decorative buttons are not typical for a man's undershirt. In this portrait he begins to show us elements of himself that are deeply personal.

Besides the need for love, he also needs to be himself - and be free to express who he is. And he needs to make music. He has departed from the image of the 'perfect idol', but music is still a defining feature.

Image 4: Jimin The Thinker

In every other portrait, Jimin's face is visible to the viewer. We can observe his expression and connect with him.

Even in [image 3] where he looks down at the guitar, we can still catch a glimpse of his features.

Here Jimin has withdrawn from the viewer. We cannot see his features and it's impossible to read his expression.

For the first time he denies us ccess to the connection we presume to have.

With his hands behind his back and his face turned away, he is physically vulnerable. This is a deeply personal and introspective portrait.

It's important to note that in portraiture the subject is assumed to be aware of the artitst/photographer. The portrait is a collaboration between the person who allows the portrait to be made and the person who makes the portrait. In this case, that is not clearly the situation.

In an image like this, we can't even be sure he is aware of the camera, let alone the moment when his portrait is captured. Are we invading his personal space? Are we encroaching on a private moment? It's hard to know. My own reaction to ths image is discomfort, I sense that we have overstepped.

Image 5: Jimin The (Hu)man

This last portrait bears a visual resemblance to the first one, and that's no accident. The intention is to encourage the viewer too compare the two images.

In [image 5] Jimin is once again placed centrally in a structured scene, posed amongst objects that are placed for effect rather than meaning.

However, when you look closely the similarity goes no deeper.

Here for the first time, Jimin is looking directly into the camera.

When the subect gazes into the camera, it's an invitation to engage. Sometimes that invitation implies initmacy or confidance.

But Jimin isn't inviting you to a tête-à-tête here, he's staring back at the camera with an attitude of defiance. Instead of engaging with the viewer, Jimin is confronting the viewer. Yes, he's inviting you to a conversation, but it's going to be a difficult conversation.

His chin raised and his head cocked, and his expression is anything but demure. His clothing in dissaray and his hair mussed, and that's just how it is. There's no attempt to charm the viewer here, we are faced with a choice: take it or leave it.

It has to be noted that we have seen Jimin staring into the camera before. However those shots have usually been arranged to look appealing. His gaze there is intended to be alluring. That is not the case here.

The power of The Gaze is clear here. The balance power between the viewer and the subject tipped in our favour up t this point, but now it's debatable who is in control of this interaction.

Is he the subject of your gaze, or are you are the subect of his gaze.

Having his hands in pockets feels nonchalant. He's unconcerned and quite relaxed about his image and what we may think of him.

To me this portrait is a quiet revelation of a new version of Jimin. He no longer aspires to recieve our approval. Rather, I think, it's us who must meet his high standard.

This Jimin has reflected on his his experiences and come out confident in his authentic self.

He knows his worth.

The before and after...

I have really enjoyed exploring these portraits. They give me insight into the way Jimin views himself, and shows how he wants to be percieved. The narrative presented by the images is familiar to me, but at hte same time I'm confronted by his self awareness and I admire it enormously. I'm also given the opportunity to reflect on my own part in his journey. I have see and admired Jimin the Perfect Man. I have watched him fall in love. I have heard his musicality develop.

Looking at these portraits, I feel a sense of pride mixed with trepidation and a touch of melancholy.

I realise that he chooses us, and that he wants to stay, but that will depend on how WE respond. He loves us but he doesn't need us, and I love that for him.

He's beautifully brave. And he's fiercely determined.

I hope we, as a fandom, don't dissapoint him.

Links:

Portraiture Explained

The Gaze Explained

Annotated Concept Photos- the portraits with explanatory notes

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #34 – Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Overview

I have had this on my list for long enough for my request that the local library get a copy actually result in me getting my hands on it. It’s the third instalment (the last? I’m not sure – the ending here felt like far less of a natural conclusion than the ending to either of the previous two) of what is for my money some of the absolute best space opera (maybe even just science fiction writ large) of the last decade. I actually opened it with a real sense of trepidation; Children of Ruin had ended on an optimistic, open-ended note, with the creation of an interstellar and inter species society that was both deeply aspirational and incredibly alien. I wasn’t sure how a book from their perspective would even work. Thankfully, my fears were basically misplaced – there’s definitely a drift in tone and focus from where the series started, but the thematic heart’s still there, and this was overall a joy to read.

Synopsis

Following the end of Children of Ruin, we have a nomadic society of uplifted spiders and squids, Humans (the capitalization signifies infection by an engineered retrovirus to help with empathy and accepting/valuing the Other), the formerly all-consuming alien microbal parasites of Nod (who have agreed to only assimilate the identities of those who expressly consent to the process), and various instances of Avranda Kern (millennia old upload of a meglomaniacal mad scientist who is by a quirk of history now the OS all computers run on). After making tentative Second Contact with a half-terraformed world now inhabited by a civilization of debatably-sentient crows, an exploration ship takes on a pair of them as ambassadors before finding their way to way what seems to be a struggling but holding on colony founded by one of the last arkships of refugees to escape the ruins of Old Earth. .

Intercut with this is the narrative of that arkship arriving, very much the worse for wear after two thousand years and change hurtling through the void with its crew and cargo in cryo. The world is hardly what they hoped for – only ever half-terraformed, breathable atmosphere and some basic engineered microbal life, but entirely lacking any sort of biosphere – but it’s not like they have another option. They make the best of it they can, using what working technology they have to bootstrap a basic ecosystem of pigs and trees, a few species of bugs and fungi, enough to farm and build with. And the core crew holds out hope that the faint trace of a strange signal buried in the hills near their colony might lead to something more.

Intercut with that is the story of Liff, a young girl in the colony as things take a turn for the worse. That’s when things start to get weird.

Xenophilia

The best way for me to get across the central theme of this whole series is ‘more star trek than star trek’ (or at least, than any star trek produced since I’ve come of age). It believes is absolutely nothing so strongly as it believes in the pure and perfect virtue of curiosity, that the point of existence is to discover, and to share what you have discovered with those around you. It is an oft-repeated point that the overwhelming majority of the universe is cold and empty, and anything different is worth seeking out and treasuring for its own sake – that every shred of diversity is the cosmos is a wonder in its own right.

Which is the entire purpose our protagonist’s civilization has set themselves – the distributed fleet of pathological scientists and novelty-seekers, leaving behind teeming cities and orbital habitats for a life seeking the mysteries of the universe with tiny circles of peers. It’s very Starfleet, in its most idealistic and elevator-pitch form.

And even beyond them, curiosity, discovery and exploration are treated as basically heroic wherever they’re found – Captain Holt and the Enkidu might have been doomed, but they’re still presented as deeply and wholly admirable for trying.

It goes beyond that, too. This is one of vanishingly few space opera settings I can think of with a cast full of distinct and dissimilar species, where none of them are orcs. Or dragons, for that matter. No matter how monstrous and horrifying a species seems – spiders the size of your head, the mad remnant of an ancient demiurge, all-consuming and replicating alien parasites – the answer is diplomacy, outreach, communication. Both sequels in the series have begun with a civilization formed through the total (though not seamless) integration of alien societies from the last book into a greater whole. The parasites from Children of Ruin best exemplify this, I think – convinced that consuming and assimilating everything it can reach will result in nothing but a universe of itself, compared to walking through the world with a soft touch and appreciating all the different dynamics that can develop through so many myriad perspectives. And now one of them is basically the book’s main protagonist (and very guilty about all the nonconsensually-eating-people thing).

Whereas in Memory it’s not exactly subtle that the intolerance and violence against social deviants is presented as basically a symptom of material scarcity and desperation. When Landfall is doing well, the little band of infiltrators – strange, nonverbal artist, discomfortingly informative schoolteacher, standoffish and thoroughly gender nonconforming woodswoman – are affectionately tolerated and appreciated for what they can do. When the harvests are bad and the forests are rotting – well who even needs abstract art or history lessons to begin with? They’re lashed out at, used as just one of a growing set of scapegoats, and when things are dire enough, again and again, they end up on the noose. Intolerance is a self-harming reflex, a wounded animal lashing out because it can neither understand nor change the actual source of its pain. Again, Star Trek but moreso.

The ‘moreso’ does a lot of work in this comparison, to be fair. The series shares Star Trek’s deep love of science just like it shares its pathological liberalism – it’s just consistent about it. The crew explorers are casually transhuman (transarachnid, transcephlopod, etc) - immortal and physically enhanced, capable of sharing and downloading both memories and skills, visibly aging or carrying scars only as a fashion statement. It is treated as a casual fact of life that letting an experiment progress might mean going into cold sleep for decades or centuries, if there is no better way for a group of six on a small ship to while away the time while they wait. Technology has conquered scarcity on anything like a personal scale, and the explorers take full advantage.

Which is probably downstream of the books not being particularly caught up on ‘humanity’. I mean, humans are there – are very important! - but to the extent they’re the axis the universe turns upon, it’s only the ghosts of the old empire. Modern humans are just one part of interstellar civilization, and not even its most numerous or prominent. Humans have a unique way of thinking (as does everyone else) but no monopoly on heroic drive or virtue.

Curious Corvids

Each book in the series feels marketed around a different uplifted animal arising from the ruins of humanity’s imperial glory and galaxy-spanning hubris. This is not wrong, but it definitely becomes less right as the series progresses.

Children of Time is about the spiders. There’s humans too, sure, but I’ve yet to see a single person who read for the Gilgamesh plotline. By wordcount and thematic focus and just what makes it an interesting book, it is about the evolution of Portid intelligence and civilization across the millennia. The real protagonist of the novel is the species.

Children of Ruin is still kind of about the uplifting of the Squids. Senkovi’s efforts and relationship with them gets a decent amount of focus, as does the development of their civilization after the terraformers’ death. They just share top billing with the alien aliens, and rather than just being the climax of the story Second Contact is the real meat of the entire plot.

In Children of Ruin the introduction of the corvids almost feels like a publisher mandate – their history and backstory is basically brushed over in the prologue and one interlude, Second Contact basically a triviality. It’s not that they’re not important to the book or its themes, or that they’re not interesting (in both cases they very much are!), but they feel like a b-plot. Supporting what the book is about, not defining it.

Which to be clear, is from a writing perspective almost certainly the correct choice – ‘Children of Time but with a different species’ would still be fascinating, but it really doesn’t cohere as a continuing and linked series. I just think you could have dug some more meat out of the abbreviated history given there. What fanfic is for, I suppose.

It’s a funny sort of distinction that unlike the others, the corvids aren’t technically uplifts – the considered opinion of the series is that while spiders and squids would require millenia of nanite-assisted directed evolution to develop anything that looks like human-level sapience, in the right environment crows would just Do That (admittedly with the addition of alien radiation scrambling DNA and increasing mutation rate by an order of magnitude or two).

The other trend with the different uplift species as the series has gone on is that with each book they become neurologically and psychologically weird. The spiders had Understandings and a bunch of predator- and cannibal-instincts, but they’re still each an individual intelligence. The squids are a central brain and a bunch of semi-autonomous limbs which are only barely on speaking terms with the conscious mind. And now the crows are not individually intelligent at all – they think and live in pairs, one observing and recalling, the other analyzing and inferring, actual intelligence appearing only in the dialogue and interaction between the two. Which makes chapters from their POV very entertaining, at least.

Sentience and Identity

The book’s very interested in both – it’s probably the most central and explicit theme of the entire thing. Our crows, having given the matter thorough and careful reflection, eventually decided that they weren’t sentient at all (that nothing is, really) – or at least, that’s the series of sounds they make when asked. Our other main characters include:

an alien parasite which has assimilated a copy of a woman’s consciousness and now imitates her so well she often forgets she’s anything else

a copy of a sliver of an instance of an upload of an ancient terraformer, who for a nontrivial period of time was running on hard that was mostly ant colony

an extremely detailed simulation of someone who could have but never did exist

(arguably) the simulation they are running on.

The book comes down pretty solidly on a ‘if it quacks like a duck’ model of personhood – and cheats a bit in terms of giving most of the above POV chapters and obvious internal monologues – but the question of who counts as sentience and as a person, and of what ‘sentient’ and ‘person’ even mean – are ones that various characters spend a lot of time and angst on.

The answer the book arrives at isn’t exactly a surprise – see above, more star trek than star trek – but it’s still an interesting angle to look at everyone from.

Genre Ambiguity

The book is clearly, self-evidently science fiction, but Tchaikovsky still has a lot of fun playing around with some fantasy tropes and imagery in it. Liff is an adolescent who dearly loves her book of ancient fairy-tales, and so our view of Landfall and the world beyond it, which means basically her entire plotline is narrated with a fairy-tale sensibility. In fairness, Kern and the crows do an excellent job accidentally seeming like a witch and her familiars. Landfall’s whole deal seeming a lot more like a fairy curse than anything from the inside doesn’t hurt, either.

While it’s science fiction, Memory is definitely softer science fiction than the previous books in the series. In general, human- and human-descended technology all at least has the convincing appearance of rigour and plausibility, while anything alien falls solidly into the real of space magic plot devices. So we get elaborate narration on the exact details of how the crew of the Enkidu bootstrap a functional ecology around Landfalll before their high technology begins giving out, but the simulator buried in the hills Just Works. Which as neat a way to do the division as any, really, but there’s a real shift in tone from Time where just about everything feels like it’s from the first category. I mean, they have fTL now!

Conclusion

This isn’t really a book I’d call groundbreaking – Children of Time has much more of a claim to novelty in both subject and presentation – but it’s one that I think solidly achieves everything it tries to? The writing’s good, the characters all cohere, the themes are explored intelligently. Plus, Kern is probably one of my favourite characters of all time.

So y’know if you don’t have major issues with spiders, multiple POVs and unclear timelines, or existential angst, would solidly recommend.

[k0sk1]

Guys I'm so sorry to ruin the fun but uhmm did you know sbn3 aka the creator of co09 said the n word multiple times (he's white and 30) and is kind of an incel and also apparently called ppl cosplaying HIS OWN CHARACTERS sluts and allowed cp on a chat he was in? There's a whole thread on it actually and I think it's important to mention it bc uhmm... It's really weird. The n word and incel rethoric ones are def true bc there's literal recordings of him saying those but the calling cosplayers sluts and allowing cp on a chat I haven't seen any confirmation for it so take it with a grain of salt if u want but I def dont doubt it

also, pls reblog so more ppl get to see it! i dont know how many of u also have a twitter acc and i didnt see anyone on tumblr talk abt it besides me soo pls let ppl know!

Update (cw for f slur and n word, incel rethoric, transphobia too): someone told me they couldn't see the thread and it'd be nice if i uploaded some pics so that's what I'll do! There are also videos, I'm gonna listen to and write exactly what sbn3 says on those videos here, but for now I'll have to just say a little overview of what he said in those. There are four videos, two are recordings of him singing (one being him saying the n word while singing a rap song and the other being him saying the f slur repeatedly with a Jeffery voice in a song called "homophobia the song" and the lyrics are basically just him saying "I hate f slurs I wanna kill f slurs" it's really bad. The other two are vc recordings. In one he talks about how 18-19 yr old girls aren't mature and are really stupid, but the goes on to say he would date an 18-19 yr old if she was "mature enough" which is weird bc he's almost thirty! But at least not explicitly pedophilic. The other vc recording is of him talking about how women can be friends with people they're attracted to but men can't, basically leaving implicit that it's because men can't "control themselves" around people they're attracted and will always see them in an erotic light. Basically the idea that men are sex beasts which is why they harass people, and that's bad!

Now, onto the pictures! Two of these are claims of things he did, but there are no videos, though I wouldn't doubt for him to do the things claimed + the person talks about how they were seeing those things first hand

TW misogyny, racism, transphobia and mentions of CP and ableism.

Also, just a personal thought, but isn't it weird that every co09 character is white? Just a thought, really, it doesn't mean he's racist but he did say the n word multiple times and then there's a really big lack of diversity in the game he made, despite it constantly talking abt race and racial issues. Idk just found that weird and wanted to leave it here.

[chcrryade]

  ⠀ര ( ˶°ㅁ°)⠀UNWRAP...⠀DOUBLE DIP! ⠀01082021⠀❘❙❚❙

Saccharin, a sound that suited the hot summer it was released in, and a colour scheme so bright it could make your eyes water, ‘DOUBLE DIP’ was simultaneously all and none of what the masses were expecting from CHERRYADE. Released on the 1st of August 2021 (digitally, that was, with physical versions only becoming available a few days later on the 5th), most look back on CHERRYADE’s debut mini album and consider it a success; remembered through smoke clouds, artificial flavouring, and a surprising lack of infighting allegations, as well as JAGUAR CEO Ae Seungdae’s reassurance through a short interview held a week before release that it would “leave a sweet aftertaste in the mouths of all who listen”—even if creative director Choi Eunhee seemed to disagree, if the hastily-covered scoff that left her lips was any indication.

⠀ᝪ  .ᐟ⠀⠀▬ ▬ ▬⠀⠀the  stats

RELEASED⠀01 & 05 / 08 / 2021

PROMOTIONAL PERIOD⠀5 WEEKS

UNITS SOLD⠀990K

WINS⠀3

⠀ᝪ  .ᐟ⠀⠀▬ ▬ ▬⠀⠀the  tracks

FUN⠀LEAD⠀WRITTEN 도연 & 대진 PROD. 대진

DANCE!⠀WRITTEN 해일 & 주순 PROD. 대진

FLAVOUR⠀PROMOTED B-SIDE⠀WRITTEN 하선 & 잘렌 PROD. 주순

SUMMER NIGHT⠀WRITTEN 잘렌 & 대진 PROD. 대진

ALL DAY⠀WRITTEN 宜君 & 잘렌 PROD. 주순

FlipSide⠀⸻⠀the  following  overviews  have  been  outsourced  from  various  netizens.  general  consensus:  ★★★★☆

ഒ⠀from  user  haeilade⠀06082021

so what did this sort-of-anticipated debut consist of, I hear you asking? well, first up is ‘Fun,’ a pretty straightforward anthem about enjoying some time in the sun to the fullest, and the track I expect will be the most performed on the various music shows the group are set to be appearing on in the coming weeks. next up is ‘DANCE!’—a song that seems to be becoming a fan-favourite b-side, in which they compare the feeling of falling in love to dancing, to flashing and falling lights, to a very summery feeling in general. it makes you want to get up and do exactly as the title tells you, and I can see why it’s climbing the ranks in the favourites department. third on the mini album comes a slight mood shift in the form of ‘Flavour,’ a bouncy and enjoyable experience no doubt hiding a number of sex innuendos in the form of the many food-and-drink-related lyrics (I mean, what are we letting ‘swell up a bit more,’ boys?), and what I predict to be the companion performance song, along with ‘Fun.’

second-to-last is ‘Summer Night,’ an upbeat affair speaking of dreams, of flying, of coaxing the listener to ‘have some fun,’ and and, on a less upbeat (but very brief) moment in the bridge, their fear of those aforementioned dreams ‘disappearing.’ and, last but not least, we have an even more noticeable shift in both mood and in tone, a much more direct attempt at a sensual (but still very enjoyable) anthem: ‘All Day.’ it doesn’t take a genius to guess at what they’re referring to. still, the delightful performances of the group and somewhat addictive whistling built into the instrumental makes it just as loveable as any of the others—in fact, it’s my personal favourite from the project as a whole, followed by ‘Flavour’ and ‘Fun,’ and I hope we’ll get a peek into the behind-the-scenes for it (and, really, all of the mini album as whole). credits-wise, all members bar gogo and jaehee contributed with lyrics, but personally I wouldn’t have cared if none of them put a pen to paper anyway.

ഒ⠀from  user  letsgogo⠀23082021

I’ve seen many people questioning the sudden flip in mood song-wise at the very end of the mini album, but as it usually is with JAGUAR, very little of those queries were answered. some have been calling it poorly structured and lacking in consistency, but some have thought up a theory for themselves (and whether they’re onto something or are just trying to make excuses to comfort themselves, at this point it’s a case of only time being able to tell)—that the change was intentional. that ‘All Day’ was setting the foundations for their next release, sort of like leaving a story on a cliffhanger; in order to get listeners intrigued enough to stick around a while longer for whatever may happen afterwards. but even if it isn’t, most of us are just happy to take it as it is, not minding the differing energy one bit—undoubtedly a positive.

another one of those was how well the seven look like they’re getting along. seeing as they’ve been stitched together from the members of past failed groups (and hand-picked from the companies those groups had been under), a large majority of people were eagerly awaiting their non-music related content (interviews, behinds, general extra things) to try and get a gauge of how they were getting along—because put-on acts of professionalism can really only work so well before someone or other starts to see through them. however, despite how hard many have been looking, not much has been found. there has been, of course, notable tension between yijun and jaehee (which hasn’t been so much of a surprise to anyone, considering their past), but the rest all seemed fine. friendly, even, if I dared to go that far. shocker!

ഒ⠀from  user  jaleon⠀25082021

past all of the apparent amicability between them, though, this debut era hasn’t been without its downs. first came the standard smoking allegations, grainy photos showcasing the smoke clouds leaking from their mouths or noses as one or two of the group huddled together round the back of the building after dark, laughing while caught up in whatever conversation they were having as they did so. longtime fans of most JAGUAR groups haven’t been deterred at all by this—most of them are just.. used to it. a nicotine addiction on the side has almost been written into the company’s contract at that point—and so these didn’t haven’t made much noise. some saw it as another good thing, if anything—they liked one another enough to hang out outside of work, so it must’ve been a positive.

there has been, however, a more serious issue that arose out of this promotional period. shortly after their first appearance as a group on inkigayo, whispers began to generate, centralising around yijun and seven, a member of senior boy group S(O)UL. the story was that an argument went south backstage, and the two parted on less-than-good terms. neither company has made any move to address it, though, and so the rumours are starting to die down—even if I doubt the feud will, and not for a while at that. I’ve heard similar whispers of mutual dirty looks also being exchanged between him and a member of group MELIORA, but even less has been said about that, so I know as much as everyone else does—pretty much nothing.

ഒ⠀from  user  hasunshine⠀06092021

styling (the outfits, as you’ll probably come to learn, are really only ever I want to talk about) this era was exactly as you’d expect something named ‘DOUBLE DIP’ to be. outlandish, bodacious, overly colourful, and with so many accessories plastered all over them it was a surprise all of their vocals during performances weren’t interrupted by the jingling and jangling of their jewellery. clunky rings, bedazzled sunglasses (and faces, and shoes, and hair.. bedazzled everything), fur hats and big caps and denim on leather on denim. you sort of just have to imagine someone’s thrown everything they can find in a vaguely-2000s second-hand store at them, and then said ‘break a leg!’—but, to their credit, they pull it off pretty well. maybe it’s just their faces.

and after that, we’ve reached the end of all I was ever intending to cover within CHERRYADE’s debut era. all that was bad brought in as much attention as any one of their performances (quite fitting with JAGUAR’s age-old motto of “all press is good press”), and overall it was very successful for the seven. I hope it’s just one of the (maybe) many more fruitful eras to come.

(¬_¬) ⠀at  a  glance  ⠀𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃⠀  doubledip.jpg ⠀(  OO3  )