#you must understand that all of the zodiac animals have their worth

[wataksampingan]

The seventh day of the new year in Chinese mythology is celebrated as the day humans were created.

So for you on your birthday, a wish:

O Rat, be shrewd, be light, may you find the way forward

O Ox, be resilient, be patient, may you remain kind to all

O Tiger, be bold, be strong, may you run fast to bring courage

O Rabbit, be graceful, be nimble, may you jump over each obstacle

O Dragon, be powerful, be generous, may you fly free to give life

O Snake, be wily, be flexible, may you move in ways unexpected

O Horse, be swift, be undaunted, may you rise up every time

O Goat, be gracious, be merciful, may you make all warm and welcome

O Monkey, be clever, be resourceful, may you find everything needed

O Rooster, be bright, be alert, may you herald each new beginning

O Dog, be spirited, be playful, may your joy multiply and overflow

O Pig, be full, be peaceful, may you show all how life should be

Happy birthday, everyone.

[siderealmaven]

Love Letters To Your Zodiac Sign <3

Dear Aries,

Did you know that there is nothing wrong with being angry? It means you’re alive and attuned, sensitive and observant. You’re more intelligent than people give you credit for because the things you’ve seen and come to know are not something you can stay silent about. Your voice and actions have impact, a butterfly affect that spreads like wildfire, igniting the hearts of all who dare to get close to you.

Your anger is a sacred wild thing. It warms the body, it cradles the heart and motivates the mind to strive for something better. When you stop being ashamed of all they have labeled as aggressively too much, you’ll come to understand you need every untamable part of yourself to achieve your dreams. You will accept you could not be led because you were meant to lead and leaders must be able to defend and protect all they hold dear. Be proud of your strength. The world needs it.

Dear Taurus,

Did you know that it’s okay to invest in yourself? You don’t always have to put everyone else first. This body, this mind, this soul are yours and you are in charge of protecting and nurturing it. You cannot allow others to treat you like a plot of farmland to be tilled, sown and reaped until the soil is depleted. There is no smile worth that pain. Don’t even bother with those barbed wire fences, make sure you go for the iron and stone. This land is sacred land.

Don’t listen to the people who try to tell you what you should plant or how to make it grow. You were born for this and the plan must come from you. The vision and the work and the sweat must come from you. They will stand at your gates and beg to sit by your flowers and eat at your table after swearing that you would never harvest anything. Go ahead and let them see your smile as you say “This one is just for me.”

Dear Gemini,

Did you know that it’s okay for you to speak your mind, even before you’ve already made it up? The best ideas come mid-sentence and give you unexpected endings. It’s okay to delight in the excitement of seeing what your brain will divulge next, to feel curiosity towards your own subconscious without shame or reservation. You are like a magician and each time you cast a spell the result is different, a never ending kaleidoscope of brand new colors.

You have the heart of the inventor and the hands of a craftsman, you were built to create with wild abandon. Every time you allow yourself to wander and drift, to rebel against the rigid lines laid out for you, you follow the sound of your own inner voice. It doesn’t matter if anyone else is listening or if anyone else believes. The most important question to ask yourself is this; do you?

Dear Cancer,

Did you know that it is okay to be soft? The walls around your heart shine like armor in the moonlight; a warning to stay back, a lure to come closer. A call to animals with sharp teeth. You don’t have to apologize for the way that you are made or the way that it makes others feel. But you do have a duty to protect and preserve these precious parts of yourself, to treat your body like a shrine to your own life. Putting up walls to do so does not make you a bad person.

In a world that is cold and cruel more often than not, the softness of Cancer is like a warm fireplace, setting the living room aglow. It’s the warm stew in your favorite bowl and the handmade quilt laid over your lap. Without Cancer’s softness there would be no comfort, no nurturing hand, and no growth. There would be no safe places to land. So go head and hang up your artwork and light the scented candle. These small touches are what makes your house into a home and home is what the world needs, more than anything.

Dear Leo,

Did you know that it’s okay to want to be alone sometimes? You were born in the spotlight and I know you love the way it enhances your natural shimmer. There is nobody that can steal the stage and captivate the crowd quite like you can. However I know there are times when you wish you could just sit quietly and observe things, let your sparkly clothes rest and your cheeks recover from flashing that mega watt smile. So why do you keep pushing yourself to do more than is humanly possible?

The ooohs and aaaahs are certainly not worth the burn out. Your best work will be born in those quiet moments of solitude, when you allow yourself to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings without another person’s input. These are good times to ask yourself if your own needs are being met. It’s all too easy to get lost in the sauce when you’re constantly surrounded by others. Today, give yourself a break and ask yourself the real question. What makes you feel like a million bucks even when no one is looking at all?

Dear Virgo,

Did you know that it is okay to not always have the answers? There is a delicate element of beauty to uncertainty and it deserves your attention. There is a softness in the waiting and something like the relief in letting go of the need to know. Your value isn’t dependent upon your ability fix things and provide for others, much less in your ability to spout off information when someone asks for it. Who are you trying to save with your knowledge?

The most important answers are found within the quiet stillness, where thoughts can run free without expectation. Hit pause on your routine, forget about your schedule and step outside of your comfort zone. Leave the mess exactly like it is. Wander outside and let your mind contemplate the shapes in the clouds. Imagine the butterfly floating by has something important to share with you. This is how you save yourself.

Dear Libra,

Do you know that it’s okay to say No? You don’t have to be everything to everybody all of the time. There are pieces of you that were only ever meant to be yours and you have to guard them as fiercely as any treasure. There are times to be graceful and kind, and there are times to growl and roar like the animal we all are at the end of the day. When is the last time that you let your inner beast out to play? Let it scream with wild abandon?

The thing about rules is that we made them up. We can deconstruct and discard them, build them back up in a new image. There are society’s rules and then there are your rules for yourself. Does your personal code of honor actually serve you and your goals, or is it designed to keep you safe on someone else’s chessboard? If you’re tired of playing this game, then take off your helmet. You’re free to create your own rules and your own game, whenever you choose.

Dear Scorpio,

Did you know that it’s okay to let your guard down every once in a while? I know the world is full of terrifying monsters, but you were born with a knife in your hands and that is pretty scary too. Besides, there is more to life than just defending yourself. Like community, friends and family, who are on the other side of these mile high walls. I know you have every reason to be scared of vulnerability but we all know it’s what you crave the most.

Believe it or not, the things about you that make you different than everyone else are the most alluring thing about you. You don’t have to share yourself with everybody, but don’t make people who are jumping through hoops wait outside your door forever. Pay attention to who shows you curiosity and sees your authenticity as the gift it really is. The world has a lot to learn from your emotional strength and resilience.

Dear Sagittarius,

Did you know that it is okay for you to change your mind? That it the beauty of life; it is ever changing and so are you. You don’t have to hang on to your old selves, perspectives, beliefs or desires and carve them into stone. You don’t have to be who you were yesterday. I know that some people will call you flighty or uncommitted, but you were made to explore, discover, and evolve with the times. Stagnation is a disservice to your growth.

Growth is the ultimate commitment and the most difficult to keep, but you’re devoted like no other. You’re allowed to focus on yourself and prioritize your own perspective. The greatest teacher is not someone you must find and follow, but the organ beating inside your chest. Quiet down and listen to its whispers. What truth is pumping through your veins? Are you brave enough to acknowledge it? You’re the only one who can.

Dear Capricorn,

Did you know that you’re allowed to have nice things? There is no point to Life if you don’t let yourself enjoy it. And I don’t mean the expensive cars and designer bags, I mean the homemade muffins fresh from the oven, just like your grandmother use to make. I’m talking about the fresh sheets on the bed sprayed with your favorite scent and letting yourself sleep in a little longer than you’re supposed to. I mean that hug that you really need, but won’t let yourself ask for.

It’s okay to ask for things, to need things, and to want them. Comfort isn’t inherently evil because it is temporary and you are not inherently undeserving because you’ve previously found it out of reach. And my love, don’t you know? You don’t have to work for it all either. The best things in life are free, arriving in the worn palms of a dear friend who’s been wondering where you’ve been. Won’t you open the door?

Dear Aquarius,

Did you know that it’s okay to let yourself been seen? You’re not going to burst into flames the second you allow someone to get to know you. But you certainly will start to slowly decay if you never allow anyone in, just saying. Sure there will be people who don’t understand and even people who purposely misunderstand, but you are free to ignore them the way they are ignoring the best parts of you. You shouldn’t ignore yourself just because they did it first. Who wins in that scenario?

You may not want to hear it, but the best parts of you are the ones you’re afraid to be open about. But that fear isn’t necessarily something that should stop you. The truth is that you are not as alone as you might think. There are lots of people out there who are hiding these same thoughts, feelings and sides of themselves too. When you take the leap and let yourself be authentic, it gives them permission to come out of hiding. So raise your flag high and ignore the haters. The friends and family you’ve been waiting for are making their way towards it.

Dear Pisces,

Did you know that you don’t have to believe everyone? Your heart is big and receptive, so it’s natural for you to want to give everyone the same empathy and benefit of the doubt that you wish was afforded to you. However, not every story is true and not every story is told with good intent. It’s important that you learn to discern the difference between people who have earned your affection and understanding, versus those who are just looking to take advantage of it.

The same way you don’t have to believe everything others say, you don’t have to reject your own story just because someone else has. Sensitive, intuitive people are going to pick up on things that others don’t and their inability to do so is not a reflection of you, your validity, or your worth. Make sure you prioritize relationships with people who believe you the first time, see your sensitivity as a strength, and encourage you to believe in yourself. Your story after all, is worth telling too.

Originally published on @siderealmaven's Patreon Page.

[secret-engima]

Me: *talking about anime/manga that make you cry from feels* “And then there’s Fruit’s Basket-”

My Friend, surprised: Fruit’s Basket? Isn’t that just the one where a girl befriends some guys who turn into animals based on the Chinese, uh- what’s it- zodiac?

Me, already internally sobbing: no no you don’t understand, you DON’T UNDERSTAND. It’s not about the zodiac, it’s not about the curse, it’s not *about* those things even though they are cornerstones of the premise, it’s about the *characters* and it’s about the *people* and it’s about how people are broken and how trauma is different for everyone, how people are cruel but they are also kind. It’s about the little things in life that make you whole or break you down and how everyone around you is bleeding and laughing and living and dying just like you and even when you are alone you aren’t really, not unless you choose to be, because somewhere, someday, there is someone who will look at you and hold your shards and say “you are worth it”. It’s about how the best intentions can leave the biggest scars, and about learning to trust again or maybe even learning to trust for the first time. It’s about broken bridges and the mending of them. It’s about how selfishness and self-sacrifice each have their place, how too much of either is just as harmful as none at all.

It’s about the Cinnamon Sweet Girl who is afraid to be selfish even when giving and giving and giving of herself ends up hurting her and hurting those who love her and how they wish she would just speak up for herself even a little bit, because how will they know how to help her if she does not dare ask?

It’s about the Tsundere who fights and screams and screams and fights because maybe if he is loud enough, strong enough, good enough, people will look and see who he is rather than who he was molded to be, who rejects kindness because he mistakes it for pity and friendship for lies until it’s proven over and over and he thinks maybe this time it is safe to reach out his hand in return.

It’s about the Prince who does not know what a mother is or how to find one, who finds kindness to be something so rare and strange and yet when he sees someone hurting he is kind because kindness is a choice and he will choose to make it even when he isn’t sure how.

It’s about the Lying Man who loves something enough to realize it needs to be broken, like a limb that has healed wrong and needs to be broken and set anew even if it hurts that he has to do it and that he will be seen as evil because of it.

It’s about the Bubbly Child who actually is hurting because what parent looks on their child and hates them so much they would rather forget they exist? And so surely he must be Extra Happy And Good for the parent who remains because this parent at least bothers to love him.

It’s about the Cold Man who is cold because he cares and was punished for caring, who chose to cause hurt because at least if it is by his hand then he knows when the damage will stop and if he is not the one to do it then the one who comes after will not stop and never stops because pain is all they know.

It’s about the boy who doesn’t know how to make his own choices meeting the girl who refuses to let others make her own. It’s about secrets and lies and truths and lost things. It’s about so many characters who live on the side, except do they? Do they really? The protagonists might be the catalyst that brings them into our view, but they are themselves people with their own hurts and dreams and wants and loves and needs, and oh aren’t they all the more beautiful and make the world so much deeper because of it.

It’s about these characters who on the surface are all a recognizable Trope™ and you expect that to be all they are, because it’s a story, and they are not even the main characters, and some of them are not even alive anymore, for all they have such a deep effect on the story. Except then the writer picks them up in all their messy, beautiful glory, rotates them a few inches to the side so you can see the myriad of facets hidden under their surface and says “Look. Look at them and how much more they are and can be, look at them and tell me what parts of yourself you see.”

It’s about finding people who you can be weak around but who also make you want to be strong for them when they have their turn to break. It’s about how meeting someone doesn’t necessarily make them your other half, how love isn’t something perfect and clean. It’s messy and jagged and comes with strings trailing behind from the lives you lived apart and the hurts you gained along the way but oh isn’t it worth it, to find someone who is willing and wanting to love you anyway. Who will fight for you and with you and will work alongside you to keep this thing that grows between you even when it is hard and your hurts clash and your scars reopen and bleed.

It’s about consequences and how the hurting in turn can also hurt others, either without meaning to or very much meaning to, but how there is forgiveness in the world just as much as there are consequences. It’s about how nothing is meant to last, but isn’t it beautiful while it is here for the time that it is, and won’t it be better to remember it when it is healthy and strong than to cling to it and chain it and force it to stay alive past it’s time.

It’s about how sometimes even the largest things in this world are connected by the smallest of red strings.

It’s about how, even when you are hurting and wounded, even when life has torn you down, it’s worth moving forward, because happy endings do exist, you just have to fight for them, and find the people out there who will be willing to help you do so.

[susansontag]

absolutely adore how akito and kyo are mirrored in the 2nd season’s yuki flashback episode. really makes me feel I understand both their anger (and yuki’s resigned aloofness) much better now. it’s one thing to see adolescents and just-adults (in case of akito?) shouting at and behaving terribly towards each other due to a mythic story, despite all evidence (kyo and yuki could just choose to get on!). but it’s quite another to see young children, basically abandoned by adult figures who could model healthy behaviour and relationships for them, resorting to explaining their relationships to each other in the only way that’s been offered to them to do so.

of course akito, who seems to have been mostly sheltered and perhaps having her movements tightly controlled from a young age, lashes out at yuki in a fit of despair and projects all her insecurities onto him. she feels useless, empty, unwanted, but she’s the mythic ‘family head’, the god-like figure that binds them all. yuki on the other hand is just another zodiac animal that orbits her; surely he must be the useless and unwanted one. it’s a very immature way of looking at the world, but trying to assert dominance over someone you’ve been taught is less important than you as a way of making yourself feel you have worth is very understandable behaviour given her position. I feel this really made me understand akito’s mental state more, why she believes she has so much to lose, why she needs to keep everyone (her literal world) in order lest her image of her place in the world shatter.

kyo does exactly the same upon first meeting yuki. they’ve never formally met, but kyo asks if yuki is the rat before he even asks his name, and then proceeds to blame him for his being rejected by the rest of the zodiac. it doesn’t matter that yuki has done nothing wrong, this wafer-thin story of the rat ousting the cat from the feast is the only explanation kyo has been offered for his ostracisation. he recognises that it’s a terrible deal and is understandably resentful, but rather than blaming how (presumably) adults are imposing this isolation on him because of what amounts to a mythic story, he instead blames yuki-the-rat because it’s his only way of understanding the situation.

none of these kids are able to organically grow close to one another (at least, not the three described here) because their roles have been so rigidly defined. the fact they’d use a narrative that’s unfairly imposed on their lives to define their boundaries, their friendships, their hatreds, etc, though exaggerated, is not at all far from how real children use narratives they’ve been told to understand their relationships to one another. the relationships between girls/boys comes to mind. this also somewhat explains this show’s apparent disdain for parental figures, given that it mainly seems interested in exploring what would happen if kids were left to their own devices without healthy parental modelling to work out how to relate to each other. no wonder it’d result in akito buckling under the pressure of expectation and lashing out at those less ‘powerful’, or kyo and yuki’s frankly ridiculously juvenile rivalry that continually annoyed me because of how immature it is.

[ghostietea]

On Tohru and Akito: a long overdue analysis

As some may know, Tohru Honda and Akito Sohma from the manga Fruits Basket are pretty much my all time favorite protagonist/antagonist pair. They just work incredibly well as thematic pieces and driving forces of the story in relation to eachother. And beyond even the surface level they have a rich and layered goldmine of parallels that make them fascinating to think about. While it may make many a newbie raise an eyebrow, I think this is a fact that is to some level pretty widely acknowledged in the fandom proper. However, there is another level of their relationship that is often mostly left out of analytical conversations about them and their parallels: their eventual friendship. Something which, partly due to screentime, is often somewhat simplified down and misinterpreted. Which I think is a shame because, when you look at it, their eleventh hour friendship is deeply interwoven with their parallels and the very thematics and ending of the story. So then, what’s really going on with the girls that stand as part of the thematic core of Furuba? Beyond (most of, true analytical objectivity is impossible in interpretation) my personal sentimental feelings, let’s talk Akito and Tohru: their parallels, relationship, and role in the story overal. Read more present, this is going to be a long one but I hope you stick around 😊

One facet of Akito and Tohru’s role in relationship to eachother that I think is both interesting and imperative to understanding their purpose is their nature as eachother’s foils, especially their parallels. See, the two girls are both opposite and the same. Takaya sets them up as foils before we even properly meet Akito, as you can see in these panels: 

However, their foil relationship becomes a lot more intriguing once their similarities become more apparent later in the story. Just think about it: two girls with boy’s names whose fathers died when they were young, leaving them alone with their mothers, who both developed behavior that, according to the environment that they grew up in, would keep them from being abandoned. Akito, coming from the cultish Sohma clan where she was treated as a God to the point that she thinks she can do no wrong and has tied all of her self worth to the role, plays the part of a male ruler who must uphold tradition and keep the zodiac with her by any means. Akito is terrified of being abandoned, especially since she has no idea how to have relationships outside of the context of the bond, only exacerbated by the fact that Ren, one of the only people that openly questions her role, has constantly told her that she’s useless and will be abandoned. This is something that informs all of her (many, terrible) decisions and leads her to try desperately to keep the curse together, something which puts her in direct conflict with Tohru, who actually wants the curse broken in part so that she won’t be abandoned. Tohru may not be as obvious with her abandonment issues as miss screeches-at-people-not-to-leave-her, but they still inform a good deal of her character. Like Akito, she develops behavior around the time of her father’s passing to try to keep herself from being abandoned, mirroring her father’s proper speech because she was worried that she was losing Kyoko.  But, as she grew older in her much warmer environment, Tohru turned to kindness instead of fear to capture others, maintaining a facade of extreme positivity, politeness, and determination so as to not bother anyone. And, while she hides it, Tohru just gets worse after losing her mother. She becomes dedicated to preserving her feelings about her mother as is, refusing to move on much as Akito also refuses to move on from the curse and what her father wanted. Then comes the beach house reveal, where Tohru learns that Akito plans to take away her new family, even locking up the one most precious to her. Tohru tells herself that she’s going to break the curse for the freedom of the zodiac and cat, but she is also, in a way, doing it to keep herself from being abandoned. Later this feeling changes to become more focused on preventing the loss of Kyo himself, something which Tohru doesn’t want to admit. Tohru is a truly good and kind person and does want to help, yes, but also some part of her is doing this to keep the ones she loves by her side, understandably as she is a teen that recently lost the person she revolved her whole life around. But it comes to a point that you have to realize: Akito and Tohru are both motivated by the same thing, they just present it in wildly different ways. I don’t think that I have to explain how exactly their behavior foils eachother, the more worldly and modern Tohru acting on radical kindness and acceptance and thinking she deserves nothing while the sheltered, traditional Akito uses manipulation and fear to get what she thinks she is entitled to. It’s very apparent, but just gets even spicier in the context of how similar they are. Another parallel is in Tohru’s mom picture vs Akito’s father box, both relics of their dead and favorite parent that they are extremely protective of and treat almost like it is their deceased parent. Early in the series Tohru is seen carrying around a photo of her mom which she talks to, something which seems pretty harmless, until we consider how terrified she is every time she thinks she’s lost it, even going as far as to refer to it as if it were her mother.  Notably, it barely shows up in the second half of the series, as she reluctantly drifts away from her mom and towards Kyo. In this later part of the series, we are introduced to Akito’s box, which she (semi, it’s complicated) thinks contains her father’s soul. Akito’s box is shown in a much darker light, from how the reveal of what it us to her is framed to how cruelly she reacts when it’s being stolen. Akito’s box is to Tohru’s photo what their owners narratively are to eachother: a dark mirror.

Ok, and now for the reason that I think it was important to bring all these parallels up first: because as you cannot understand Tohru and Akito as enemies without understanding their differences, you cannot understand them as friends without knowing their similarities. While it is easy to write off Tohru reaching out to Akito as just another case of Tohru being Tohru, that does a disservice to the full picture. I’ve seen around in the fandom that a good deal of people seem to think Tohru trying to befriend her is just Tohru being overly kind and forgiving, and this is something I think ties back a bit to some early fandom misconceptions about Tohru. Bear with me for a second, this is going to be a bit of a tangent but it ties back. It’s died down some now, but in the early Furuba fandom it was very common to just think of Tohru as a pretty flat nice girl doormat character, which besides misogyny is probably partially the fault of the 01 anime, which cuts off before we get to see more of Tohru’s insecurities and tones down what we do see (also, in the case of the relationship I’m talking about, 01 ads in that God awful end confrontation that I despise for being everything that I’m about to argue the ACTUAL confrontation that I like is not). Manga Tohru is a very subtle character, she hides a lot of her feelings behind a perpetually happy front which doesn’t start to let slip until later. And, since it’s later on in the manga which went unadapted for years and is mixed in with a bunch of crazy stuff, I think Tohru’s quiet development is often somewhat overlooked. For example, early series Tohru is very well known for the speeches she gives to the zodiac when she first meets them, speeches that, importantly, always tie back to things that her mom said. Tohru’s worldview back then revolved completely around Kyoko, so it’s probably a bit of a thing that in the later story, when Tohru draws ever nearer to the realization that she must move on, she does not give her mom speeches anymore? As opposed to the early story, when it was pretty much back to back character intros, in the late story Tohru notably only gets to befriend two new Sohmas: Isuzu and Akito. Notably, she doesn’t quote her mom either time, these are both people that she can relate to on some of her more hidden issues, and she shows a more personal side of her emotions in her turning point confrontations with them than she did earlier. It is especially important to realize that, in her confrontation on the cliff, Tohru is deciding that she is willing to go against her mom. Early series Tohru was a front anyways, and is a different Tohru from the one that finally gets through to Akito. I was using it as an example, but the evolution of Tohru’s befriending confrontations will be important later. Furthermore, there is the perception of Tohru as a doormat. Listen, Tohru may be very kind and polite, but one of her defining characteristics is being very determined and strong willed when need be. This is something that is especially relevant to her interactions with Akito. From the first meeting outside the school, Tohru knows to be wary of Akito and even breaks politeness and shoves her when she senses that Akito is making Yuki uncomfortable. This sets up immediately that Tohru can and will stand up to Akito. This is driven in even farther at the beach house, when Tohru, after again physically getting between Akito and a zodiac, decides that she will directly go against all of the Sohma family’s centuries of tradition and Akito herself to break the curse.  There’s even a cute moment when, upon remembering Akito telling her not to, Tohru just decides to meddle even harder. Tohru, while polite about it, does not like Akito and puts herself in direct opposition to her. Tohru does not originally want to be Akito’s friend, or to have anything to do with her. The cliff scene is not just Tohru befriending someone because she just is over forgiving and loves everyone (an argument can be made that she still goes to easy on Akito, but it’s in line with how the narrative treats her too so that’s another conversation), there was a specific reason both that she chose to try to get through to Akito and that it actually worked. Up until their big confrontation, Tohru still thinks of Akito as a threat, and while she has gotten more information that shakes up her view of Akito, she still doesn’t understand her well enough to see her as much more than an obstacle. Then Akito barges into her yard when she’s just been rejected, crying and confessing how terrified she is of being abandoned, of things changing, and Tohru just goes still, eyes wide in shock. And she realizes: her and Akito have been afraid of the same thing the whole time.  This is when Tohru decides to try to reach out to her. Because Tohru, on a deep level, sees Akito because of their similarities.  She calls Akito out on her insecurities, and Akito reacts badly, accusing Tohru of being “dirty” and trying to condescend.  Tohru partially rebukes this, not trying to hold herself above Akito as pure and righteous, but instead confessing her own fears of abandonment and change in an attempt to empathize with Akito.

At this part of the story, Tohru is fully coming into the realization that, in order to live her life, she needs to stop clinging to this idea of an “unchanging” relationship with her mom, something that scares her quite a bit. She realizes that, while she saw the flaws in Akito’s “eternity” and tried to destroy it, she had not been as perceptive with herself, clinging to that same notion. Tohru is an incredibly repressed character, especially in regards to emotions she thinks of as “dirty,” and she is showing a remarkable amount of vulnerability in this scene. Another thing to note about Tohru is that she, in her immense repression, will often process her own issues through other people. We see this throughout the story, from her showing grief over her mom by crying for Momiji and his mom to her projecting her fear of losing Kyo onto Kureno and Arisa. So then, it’s quite something to consider that the last Sohma she befriends is the one most emblematic of the issues she keeps locked up tightest? That as she’s speaking to her she’s deciding to move forward from her own fears? In a way, could accepting Akito be a symbol of Tohru accepting what she thinks are the darker parts of herself? Akito is also coming to a realization about moving on, acknowledging that the zodiac curse is coming to an end and that everything she believes is a lie, and she is absolutely distraught about it. But Tohru, in a way that nobody else does, understands Akito, and wants Akito to be her friend. Not out of pity or reverence, but a desire for solidarity. And this is the very reason why Tohru was actually able to get through to Akito. As we see with Kureno before he gets stabbed and Momiji at the beach house and when his curse breaks, it’s not like people haven’t kindly tried to get through to her before.

Of course, the reason it worked for Tohru can also be partially chalked up to the fact that Akito herself has come a long ways in personal realizations to the point that there’s just some things she can’t deny anymore, but that’s not all. Akito tends to react very negatively to what she sees as condescension, she thinks people want to try to pick her apart and see how she ticks just so they can look down on her, so they can see her as lesser. She thinks Tohru is trying to condescend too at first, especially since she perceives Tohru as this holier than thou saint wannabe. Fascinatingly, Akito’s view of Tohru is incredibly similar to that early fandom idea of Tohru as an angelic mary sue, and she hates her for it. She thinks that Tohru is trying to be like this and is seen as such, and that she (Akito) is the only who can see that Tohru is wrong somehow.

But Tohru rejects this notion of a pure her that both the fandom and her early self tried to project, presenting herself as flawed and human and purposefully trying to not put herself on a pedestal above Akito. She makes it very clear that she’s not trying to condescend, she is the same way (well, sorta) and she gets it. Notably, after this point Akito doesn’t accuse her of looking down on her, instead freaking out temporarily because of how much Tohru called her out before venting about her fears to her. And, while, partially due to outside circumstances, it does take Akito a bit longer to accept her offer of friendship, she legitimately manages to get through to her very soon after this point. If Tohru had tried one of her early series mom speeches on Akito, or just tried to blindly accept her without understanding, it would not have worked. Akito would have just written it off or reacted badly and left it there. But because Tohru tried to befriend Akito out of understanding as an equal it actually worked. You can’t separate Akito and Tohru’s parallels and their eventual friendship because one aspect is integral to the other.

A connected aspect of their relationship that I see talked of very little but is actually a pretty strong undercurrent is that of equality and power. To explain this, we have to look at Akito for a bit. Throughout her life, pretty much everyone around Akito has either put her on a pedestal or looked down on her. This is something that not only greatly damaged the way she thinks of herself and others, but has given her an intensely hierarchical view of relationships. We even see this notion clearly take form for her in the black paint scene, where she decides that Yuki, who she’d previously seen as the same as her, has to be lesser or else she will become useless.  From the moment Akito was born she was “God,” an existence above everyone else. Even her own father only seems to give her affection for being God, and when he dies and she takes his place as the head of the family she is just elevated even farther at an extremely young age. The only people (she thinks) she’s close to are the zodiac, and the curse itself puts an inherent power dynamic into that relationship that can only be overcome with its undoing. Akito clings to her power, to her rank in the hierarchy, all the while the very thing she desperately upholds has made her the real outsider. Akito, who does everything in the name of belonging, was always alone from the start. As Tohru points out, as long as she is above the group she cannot be a part of it.

Simultaneously, and almost contradictory to the pedestalization and power dynamic aspect, Akito is extensively coddled and pitied. A lot of the older adults around her treat her almost like a crotchety, spoiled child. A child who is coddled to the point of never being given any reprimand or instruction on just how to behave like a functional human being until things have gone far too far. Then you have cases like Kureno, who seems to still see Akito like a kid, pretty much just coddles her as a job, and only stays because he pities her. This leads to a strange dual sided dynamic in multiple cases, where Akito is seen as someone’s better and has more power but is also being looked down upon in a way too. Akito has never in her life been seen and treated as an equal, so it’s pretty important when it is made clear that Tohru tries to befriend her as an equal. After all this time, Tohru, an outsider that is not under Akito’s control, who can hold her ground in a challenge against her, is finally the one to meet her on the same level. There’s this page that I adore that symbolizes this idea really nicely. It opens on a panel of Akito sitting a distance away from the zodiac who are all having fun together, a motif we’ve already seen a few times, but this time Tohru sits down right next to her.

This page comes at a critical moment, when Tohru is offering her hand in friendship to Tohru, it’s Akito realization of what Tohru is trying to do. Later on, we get Akito narrating what this page was showing, which I think I just need to put in:

We also see a bit of their conversation after they reunite in the hospital later, where Tohru again denies that she is better than Akito. Now, I think both the Tokyopop and Yen Press translations of this scene are a bit weird, the Tokyopop version uses the word “pretty” (confusing) while the Yen Press uses “kind” (don’t think that’s the best word). However one time I saw like a Malaysian english release in the half price books that used “pretty on the inside” and I like that best so I’ll just pretend that’s it.

I think this scene is interesting because it could seem like they’re just talking about morality but that’s not it. This is, once again, Tohru pretty explicitly trying to stop the creation of any sort of hierarchy between her and Akito. It’s not about right or wrong, Tohru know very well that Akito’s done things wrong and actively worked to stop her, it’s about not wanting them to be put on some sort of different rank based on morality and Tohru understanding Akito enough to empathize with the fact that (wrong or no) Akito was really hurt by Tohru and they won’t get anywhere if they don’t acknowledge that. Furthermore, I’ve already talked a bit about it already, but I think the way that Tohru asserts that she gets what Akito’s feeling and thinks she herself is “dirty” during their confrontation is relevant here too. She is, again, presenting herself as someone on the same level who understands Akito and is not being nice out of pity. This then leads to the page I talked about before which is again, Akito realizing this! This is a huge moment for her, someone who has had all of her relationships messed up by inequality and has no idea how to have a normal relationship, who is having a breakdown because she thinks that because of this it’s too late for anyone to love her, to have someone who understands her and wants to meet her on the same level. Even if she tries to deny it and shift blame, at this point Akito has realized that the zodiac bond is not what she thought and that she has been acting horribly. The groundwork is already there for Akito to have a change of heart, especially considering that a lot of her horribleness stems from legitimate extreme ignorance and her obsession with the bond so once she’s snapped out of that… The main thing that’s holding her back past that is that she’s panicking and cannot see a way forward. So then when there’s someone who actually gets where she’s coming from instead of just tolerating her and is offering her the sort of friendship that she’s never gotten to have of course she’d go for it! Tohru Honda has proven Akito wrong in ever way and, in the end, she even proves her wrong on her greatest fear: that she can only be wanted because she’s God. Because of Akito’s specific issues, nothing could have been more powerful for her than someone coming to her as an equal. Again, the piece about why Tohru could get through to her. It just wouldn’t be the same if Tohru didn’t have a reason to want Akito around or if she somehow saw Akito as below her, the very core of their relationship is the destruction of hierarchies. From the beginning Tohru has been trying to destroy the hierarchy of the zodiac, and when it comes down to it she does not take Akito’s spot at the top, but decides to stand beside her and the zodiac instead. Early in the series we see Akito trying to have some power over Tohru through fear, but when the time comes and Akito is pretty much defeated Tohru does not take power as the victor, hoping that Akito joins her instead of being somehow defeated. And at the end of it all this works, and Akito dissolves the zodiac and with it most of her power and her godhood of her own accord. 

Despite their relative lack of page time, Tohru and Akito’s relationship has always been something that I come back to. Sure, a lot of that is just sentiment as they meant a lot to me when I was younger, but I think there’s something there. They work amazingly as protagonist and antagonist, contrasting nicely and working as symbols of both sides of the thematic conflict. There’s a palpable tension to their early interactions that makes you both scared and interested to see what happens when these two inevitably have to go head to head. But then, as the story goes on, it seems more and more like they are a tragedy, so similar yet on different sides of the story, fated to have one of them stuck with an unhappy ending brought on by the other.

But, even as dark as it gets, that wouldn’t really be Fruits Basket, would it? In the end, Tohru and Akito’s similarities win out, not their differences. I think it would have been so easy to just make this a story where the sweet heroine “saves” the villain just because, but that is so blatantly not what’s going on. Tohru simply sees herself in Akito, she’s not trying to somehow fix her and nor should she have to, she just wants to be her friend. And then the two manage to overcome their driving fear of moving on, forging new bonds and inspired by their interaction with the other. It’s not like Tohru somehow fixes Akito’s problems, Akito has to do things herself and in fact independence is a big theme of her endgame arc. Tohru simply offered her friendship, and that was enough. There’s a distinction to be made between how Tohru inspires Akito and Tohru somehow “saving” her, because Akito very much has to learn to save herself in the end after a lifetime of pushing her issues onto others. And, as a side note, all this is sort of why it bugs me when people act like Tohru would be like a mom to Akito. First off, Tohru shouldn’t have to be the mom to everyone. And, kind as she is, Tohru is also not a Kureno, she sees and interacts with Akito in a completely different way and their relationships with Akito are one of the big points were Tohru and Kureno differ. Second off, Akito has spent her life coddled and clinging onto anything that she can hold onto as a resemblance of parental affection to a toxic degree. Part of her arc is that she needs to grow out of this, become more independent, and have more balanced relationships. Akito at this point does not want or need to make a mommy figure out of one of her peers, and doing so may in fact be regressive. Sure, she will definitely need a level of guidance going forward, but it would be more beneficial for her to learn from example and under more of a friendly, balanced context coming from multiple people, not one person holding her hand. For all the reasons I’ve gone over in this entire post, I think it is much more meaningful for Akito to have Tohru as what she was canonically presented as in text: someone who sees her as an equal. The whole point of their relationship is, again, the defiance of hierarchies, something which I think is often sorely overlooked even though it is very openly there in text. And that, in part, is why I think their relationship is so powerful to me. Beyond hero and villain, right or wrong, or any story roles, it’s about two girls finding solidarity and friendship on a very personal, human level. This is Akito for the first time being seen not as this distant, untouchable male deity or some pitiful being, but as a flawed, hurt human girl who is nonetheless capable of change and being loved. This is Tohru coming out of hiding, presenting her flawed, terrified human self to someone she saw as an enemy. Fruits basket is, in part, a story about friendship and defeating systems of power and abuse. Even in a messy third act that muddles its themes at times by weighing character endings too heavily on het romantic love, especially in regards to the women (Hello Rin, Machi, Uo, ect.), Tohru and Akito stand out as a friendship that is given a huge amount of narrative weight. It just feels nice that, in a story that often focused on the power of relationships between women only to ditch all that and focus primarily on their relationships with men, these two girls are one of the driving forces of the endgame. The curse didn’t get broken by romantic love, but by the friendships everyone made along the way, including Tohru and Akito. Tohru has gotten it to this point, and now Akito just needs to bring it to a close and finally end things. At the very beggining, before this all started, all the cat wanted was for the God was to move forward and live as a person among the humans, and, finally, a long time later that wish was granted. The tale of the zodiac gets its happy ending not by a villain being defeated, but by the power of friendship and solidarity between women.

[wissbby]

Boyfriend head-canon - Oikawa Tо̄ru

⤙ Summary: basically, a head-canon about how I imagine Oikawa in a relationship. ⊹ Genre: fluff, smut and a tiny bit of angst ⊹ Word count: 1779 ⊹ Warnings: NSFW ⤙ Author’s note: this head-canon is a bit bigger than I anticipated. I still feel like I’m missing so much more so I might edit this in the future and add onto it. For now, I hope you just enjoy it :)

So, let's say you and Oikawa got together.

I don't see Oikawa as someone who opens up easy. It takes the man a lot of time and trust so you'll have to be patient if you want to develop a relationship with him.

You must've been (very very good) friends before he even sees you as a potential significant other. 

I've seen a lot of Haikyuu fans bashing on the man because of that one scene with Kageyama. They don't realise that Oikawa was at his lowest point during this moment and was overall just doing very, very bad. 

It's also a scene where we get to see Oikawa's fakes finally breaking down. 

You need to show Oikawa you're there for him, even if he pushes you away at the very beginning.

He's afraid to show you his insecurities, even if you're already aware of them in the first place. 

He's just so so afraid of losing you. He’s afraid you’ll leave him behind once you get to see the other -not so pretty- side of him.

So, try to break him,

in a good way, of course.

Also, give him a lot of space. And by this, I mean, give the man attention but let him do his things like he always has done. 

Even though you're now his partner, Oikawa is still selfish in that perspective. He won't try his hardest best to change his schedule for you.

You know volleyball is important to him, right? So you must understand why he won't do so.

Trust me,

He'll come back running once he realises this kind of behaviour was the exact reason his ex broke up with him.

"I'm so sorry. It's just- I'll try harder."

And if Oikawa says so, he really means it. This man keeps his promises, I'll give him that.

He's just very insecure about a lot of things, though he might not show that side of him immediately. 

If you've come across the point where Oikawa fully knows he's accepted by you, he'll show you his true colours. 

Expect him to break down in front of your -yet to be opened- front door. 

Just take the man inside and comfort him. 

He likes to be pampered.

Now, onto a bit more fluffy stuff.

This man is one hundred per cent the affectionate type. 

If he wants to feel your skin, he will do anything in his power to do so. 

Out in public but suddenly craving you? He's kissing your forehead and pushing you against his chest while holding your waist with his right arm and intertwining your hands with his left hand.

Together in one's bedroom? He'll either plop on top of you, burying his head into the crook of your neck with his body all over yours or will push you against his chest and let you rest your head in the crook of his neck while running his hands slowly through your hair until he hears your evening breaths. 

He just likes to know you're still there with him. 

Sorry buddy's, it's the insecurities.

It's also a way of apologising for the time he loses with you because of volleyball. He tries his hardest best to make the time you two have unforgettable.

If he finally got a day off, he will one hundred per cent take you on a date. 

Expect this man to go all out.

Clothes, shoes, accessories, oh yeah, and the date itself too

He almost forgot about that, but let's ignore that for now 

Okay, so these are the type of dates he would definitely take you on,

Coffeeshop dates, picnics, star-gazing, home-theatre.

Let me explain each date

Coffeeshop dates: it has to be one of those cosy, very warm atmosphere shops. He likes to see a lot a brown, dark green, some orange and of course, plants. It's an aesthetic the pretty setter loves to be surrounded by to unwind from everything going on. 

It's also a perfect colour palette for his Instagram feed.

He'd wear a grey sweater with vinyl pants and -of course- wear his glasses to add to the look. 

This mf is actually blind without them but only wears them when they match his outfit. 

Anyway, 

Picnics: Oikawa would take care of everything. The only thing you need to do is just be there. He likes to lay down with you, telling you about his day/week. The pretty scenery above your heads and in front of you keeps amazing him. He will never get tired of the prettiness Mother Nature offers. Bonus!! Bring him milk bread and he’ll spin you around before settling you back on the ground and pecking your lips ever so slightly.

Star-gazing: I see Oikawa as an intelligent human being. Besides that, he is very curious about various things. He almost always has a question about something. If he feels romantic or just simply wants to see you, he’ll call you when the sun has set, telling you he is waiting for you outside. I know for a fact that this dude has some secret hide-out since he was a child. He hasn’t shared it with anyone, not even Iwaizumi, because it was his spot to completely shut the outside world out. He really doubted whether he should tell you about it or not. But, he wanted to show you himself, all of him. He loves you too much to let you be apart of that “outside world”. Arriving at the spot, he would lay down with you in the tall grass, eyes immediately fixating on the bright stars. He would point out the zodiac signs, telling you some facts about his sign and yours (yes, he did his research). On the court, Oikawa feels big. He feels big with his team and is not afraid to lose if it were with them. But now that he lays underneath the big open sky, he realises how tiny he is in this universe. He starts to think about how lucky he is to have met you in this big universe. Expect some sappy shit and maybe some tears if he feels vulnerable. 

Home-theatre: sometimes, it’s better to stay indoors with your loved one. And Oikawa completely agrees with that. After a long week of school or work he just likes to unwind. Now, he would invite you over. And girl- when I tell you what he did. You didn’t exactly expect a fort in front of his television. But then again, we are talking about Oikawa here. It’s adorable, though. There are fairy lights all over the place, candles lit and an unnecessary amount of pillows and fluffy blankets. You both lay down and pick a movie. Settling on “Ponyo” because Oikawa once mentioned the drawing style makes him feel at ease. This man has one of his arms either wrapped around your figure or intertwined his fingers with you. He prefers to have you cuddled into him, whether that be spooning or laying on top of his chest. He just likes to keep you close. It’s these moments Oikawa cherishes the most: the domestic ones. 

Let’s hope I fed you enough fluffy content because I’m ready to flip the switch once again. 

Like I mentioned before, Oikawa is a curious man. 

And this also applies to kinks.

I know for a fact he is not scared to try out new things. He just wants two things: trust and honesty.

He wants you to trust him and trust you. He also wants you and him to be as honest as possible.

Do you not like something even though he seemed to be into it? Tell him, he wants it to be as equally enjoyable for you as it is for him.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of headcanons telling Oikawa is a switch with sub tendencies. 

I’m only gonna have to agree on the first part.

This kid is, indeed, a switch. However, he is more of a switch with dom tendencies, in my eyes.

Big on praise, like, very big. 

Secretly likes receiving more than giving, but you never heard that from me.

He also is into slight bondage. Handcuffs, ropes etc.

He likes to tie you up and block your sight. It makes him feel in control. 

Also, the way you squirm whenever he’s breathing or whispering into your ear when you least expect it, gets him rock hard every time. 

However, do the same to him and he’ll obey.

After being the fattest brat ever, of course.

#pegoikawa2020

Some other kinks he has are breath play, cockwarming, degradation, role-play, overstimulation, pain, food-play, stockings, cute lingerie and sadism.

(There are so many more kinks he likes and I want to go into detail about all of these but this shit will get too long so I won’t. Request if you want to see what I’d say about his kinks.)

He can go all out. 

But Oikawa prefers the more gentle sex where you just take time to enjoy each other’s carcasses. 

Is super vulnerable whenever that happens and has indeed broken down a couple of times during the act.

He can’t help it: he loves you too much that he can’t even keep on that facade anymore.

Aftercare with this baby is so cute. 

If the previous moments were a lot rougher, he likes to check up on you and praise you for your work. 

However, he gets you a glass of water and a towel to clean up the mess every time. 

When taken care of, he likes to plop down and just hold you as close as possible. Usually runs his fingers through your hair to confirm you’re still there with him. 

Falls asleep real quick, ngl

If I can give you a piece of advice: get up the morning after to make him breakfast

It’s something small but Oikawa really feels loved whenever he’s taking care of

Asks you to take place beside him and shares his breakfast with you

Yes, he is the type to put food into his mouth and share it with you with the help of a kiss that transfers the piece of food into your own mouth

Mornings like these are intimate and Oikawa cherishes them the most

Usually followed by just a lazy day of enjoying the presence of one another and probably some romance anime or Black Mirror binge watch.

Overall, this baby needs a lot of reassurance in his relationship. Let him know you’re there and won’t leave him (one of his, if not biggest, insecurities). Make him feel loved and let him take his time to warm up to you. Oikawa is worth the wait.

Bonus!!

Iwaizumi is so very glad to see his best friend happy. He’s very grateful you two have met. Will never not show you how much he appreciates him.

“Thank you for loving him, Y/n-san,” Iwaizumi would say, voice lowered in hopes his friend wouldn’t be eavesdropping.

“Iwa-chan! Are you flirting with my girlfriend?”

“Shut up, shittykawa! You don’t deserve someone as good as her!”

He’s just happy his best friend is finally able to share his insecurities with someone he loves so much.

You’re a blessing to the both of them. 

[moveobjectsonblogs]

Zodiac Challenge

Welcome to the Sims 4 Zodiac Challenge!

This idea came to me in a dream after a month of um-ing and ah-ing over whether or not I should start my very own Sims inspired Youtube Channel.

This is also inspired by the Not So Berry Challenge over on my queen, lilsimsie’s page, since I recently started playing that myself and found myself engaging with aspects of the game I never used to before. 

SO, the Zodiac challenge... It’s a legacy challenge inspired by Zodiac traits*, aspirations and careers with a little extra spice to keep the story moving along.  

*Please keep in mind that this is not a direct reflection of Zodiac traits, but merely an inspired challenge based on some common information surrounding each sign and a need to make a workable legacy challenge. I love all you little start signs out there equally and I believe we all have some positive influences on society as a whole. 

Okay, okay, cut to the chase already. Here are the rules of the challenge: 

No excessive money cheats (freerealestate is acceptable, as well as moderate transfer of household fees when a sim moves out) 

You have full control over CAS for your sims/partners/children, however traits are to remain according to challenge 

The color attached to each generation/sign needs to be visible on all sim outfits as well as in household, but you can decide to what degree

You can create looks inspired by the signs, but again, you can decide to what degree 

Make it your own! Where a generation requires pack-specific traits, aspirations, careers etc which you do not own, please substitute and come up with your own unique spin on it!

If a skill, aspiration, or career is listed, the expectation is to MAX IT OUT!

Please tag me! I want to see your videos, characters and creations on this

Generation 1 - Aries / Red - The Go-Getter

You start out as a runaway teen, trying to make it in the Big City. You believe you have what it takes to be the next National Leader, and the City is the place to be! You have a quick temper and a fiery personality, so in order to appear calm in the public eye (everyone wants a piece of you!) you need to practice Wellness every day. You don’t have time for marriage, but your PR Manager advised you it would look good for your political career to adopt!

Traits

Hot Headed

Self-Assured

Ambitious

Aspiration

Leader Of The Pack

Career

Politician (Politician branch to become National Leader)

Skills

Charisma

Wellness

Additional Requirements

Reach Level 3 Fame

Must have no biological children, only adopt

Don’t have a good relationship with child/ren

Never marry

Never retire 

Generation 2 - Taurus / Dark Green - The Loving Nurturer

All your life you tried to get the approval of your always-too-busy presidential parent. You were pawned off to day-care, baby-sitters and after-school activities to fill your time and never knew what a parental figure or family time was. You were told to always appear perfect in terms of good grades, a good university degree and a stable career but in your heart all you ever wanted was love! You spend quality time with your children and your greatest pleasure is helping them grow and succeed in life. You believe in taking the time to grow your own produce in order to eat only the healthiest food and other sims would describe you as ~earthy~.

Traits

Foodie

Family Oriented

Romantic

Aspiration

Big Happy Family

Career

Freelancer (any branch you want)

Skills

Parenting 

Gardening

Additional Requirements

Marry your High School/University sweetheart

Have minimum 3 children 

Work part time in order to help children with meals & homework everyday

Generation 3 - Gemini / Yellow - The Open-Minded Adventurer

You loved your cozy (some would say sheltered) and unconventional upbringing with your earthy parent and many siblings; however, you want to see the world and all it has to offer for yourself! You love people, creativity and being busy and you want to see it all, try it all and be it all. Thanks to your loving mom, you were always made to believe you can be whatever you want in this world. You can never sit still. Due to that, you have many different careers, many different worlds you live in and many different lovers...You’ll try anything once!

Traits

Outgoing

Adventurous

Creative

Aspiration

Renaissance Sim 

Career

Any 3 (as per Aspiration)

Skills

Flower Arranging

Video Gaming

Fitness 

Additional Requirements

Have a love child before marriage 

Have 3 failed romances before marriage 

Move to 3 different worlds in lifetime 

Generation 4 - Cancer / Grey - The Intuitive Gossip

You want a nice and normal life, no surprises, everything as it should be and in the right order. You want to settle down, and live an uneventful life. But when do plans ever work out like that? You earn a university degree in something sensible, and you follow that route with determination; however, you’ve always been described as psychic by those who know you, and you always have the dirt on the town folk. Finally, late in your life you understand that this ability can bring in some serious cash. You switch to the social media career and always work from home to protect your identity from those who’s secrets you spill. Who would ever suspect you, the nerdy Brainiac who barely speaks up? xoxo, Sims Girl

Traits

Neat

Unflirty 

Materialistic

Aspiration

Academic

Career

Initially something connected to Degree, but switch to Social Media (Internet Personality Branch) in late Adult Life Stage 

Skills

Logic

Writing

Media Production 

Additional Requirements

Attend university (Business or History degree)

Change careers when in Adult life stage to Social Media Career

Always work from home

Marry for convenience and not love (not attracted to partner)

Have no relationship with child/ren

Generation 5 - Leo / Gold - The Romantic Star

Your life growing up was boring. Your mom and dad were the least romantic people ever and everything was cookie-cutter perfect (and devoid of any emotion) growing up. So, from a young age, you throw yourself into movies and get lost in the romantic, passionate and fairy tale aesthetic of it all! You move to Del Sol Valley straight after high school to try and make it as a big star and start your own fairy tale! But it turns out not all fairy tales are perfect, and you have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince/ss!  

Traits

Cheerful

Self Absorbed 

Romantic

Aspiration

World Famous Celebrity

Career

Actor/Actress 

Skills

Acting

Singing 

Additional Requirements

Move to Del Sol Valley straight after high school with very little money (10K max)

Cheat on 2 different partners

Date both genders

Generation 6 - Virgo / Beige - The Critical Perfectionist

Owing to your famous parent, you always attended red carpet events with the best food imaginable. Let’s face it, you always thought your taste was just a touch above everyone else. And when you’re good at something never do it for free! Your dream is to criticize others and earn a pay check for it.For you, life is about experiences, perfection and having something to show for it in the bank account. You want to wear and eat the finest things!

Traits

Perfectionist

Genius

Snob

Aspiration

Fabulously Wealthy

Career

Critic (Food)

Skills

Gourmet Cooking

Mixology

Additional Requirements

Marry a famous sim or a sim at the top of their career

Have a house worth over 100K

Have 1 child

Generation 7 - Libra / Pink - The Classy Advocate

You grew up in a very classy home, with only the finest things. You believe in the value of beautiful art, intellectual discussions and physical beauty. From behind the thick, gilded window panes in your childhood mansion, you always witness the injustices of the world and felt a calling to help those without a voice.

Traits

Materialistic

Art Lover

Outgoing

Aspiration

Party Animal

Career

Law (Any Branch)

Skills

Charisma

Violin

Additional Requirements

Attend university, join the debate guild

Marry a sim you find extremely attractive

Volunteer weekly

Own art pieces worth over 20K

Generation 8 - Scorpio / Black - The Beautiful Empath 

You’re a sweetheart deep down and you find beauty in all things physical. Where your parents saw beauty in materialistic things, you see beauty in yourself and others. You always dreamed of perfecting your own body as a testament to your intense passion towards your goals. You meet a beautiful partner along the way and together, you create a perfect image of love, beauty and emotional intensity.

Traits

Jealous 

Active 

Romantic

Aspiration

Soulmate

Career

Athlete (Bodybuilder career)

Skills

Fitness

Mischief

Additional Requirements

Marry a sim seen as extremely attractive

Have 1 child minimum and encourage active side (from toddler to teenager)

Go on a date night with your partner every weekend

Generation 9 - Sagittarius / Purple - The Traveling Spy 

You’re fun to be around and can never sit still. You’ve used this to your advantage to lure people into trusting you, and you have friends all over the world! Little do they know, you’re a secret agent with some top-tier missions to accomplish. Your passion for love and romance means you have a few slip ups and made some (unexpectedly great) mistakes along the way. You can’t ever be tied down. Keep it moving, blend in with the locals and you’ll never get caught!

Traits

Non-Committal

Adventurous

Cheerful  

Aspiration

Serial Romantic

Career

Secret Agent (Any Branch)

Skills

Comedy

Photography

Additional Requirements

Live in Mt. Komorebi and Sulani in lifetime – dabble in local culture and activities  

Have children from both of the above worlds with one of the locals

Never marry  

Generation 10 - Capricorn / Brown - The Idealistic Pragmatist

You’re smart – scary smart. You are a quiet, intelligent soul and you love to lose yourself in the mountains when life gets overwhelming. You approach life with military intelligence, routine and perfection and never thought you could meet someone who cracked through your tough exterior. When you do meet them, you marry them after the first few dates and start your family. Your partner adores you and your family and quits their career to take care of the large brood of kids and animals in your rustic, outdoorsy home.

Traits

Loner

Genius

Loves the Outdoors

Aspiration

Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Career

Military 

Skills

Pet Training

Logic 

Additional Requirements

Marry a spouse after a maximum of 3 dates

Have spouse quit job to raise children

Have 4 children minimum

Go Climbing/Hiking or do Snow Sports every weekend

Generation 11 - Aquarius / Blue - The Outspoken Activist 

You grew up with nature and animals taking preference over technology and humans. Therefore, you are sickened by the state of the world that humans have created and you decide to pursue a green future. You are all for eco living, off the grid lifestyle and conserving the environment for generations to come.

Traits

Vegetarian

Green Fiend

Creative

Aspiration

Eco Innovator 

Career

Civil Designer (Green Technician) 

Skills

Fabrication 

Logic 

Additional Requirements

Live in Evergreen Harbor (all 3 neighborhoods) and convert all to Green Eco Footprint

Live off the grid at least once

Adopt children and animals until household limit of 8 is reached 

Generation 12 - Pisces / Light Green - The Creative Overthinker 

You’re a dreamer and you want to heal everyone. Due to your parent’s ideals growing up, you want to make a difference... but you also want to create art and move souls. You tend to internalize your dreams and fears and as a result often feel misunderstood. You move around as a doctor trying to heal the world and as a result, love is last on the list of accomplishments.

Traits

Creative

Gloomy

Loner  

Aspiration

Painter Extraordinaire 

Career

Doctor 

Skills

Painting 

Baking 

Additional Requirements

Have no friends apart from future spouse

Gain fame through paintings  

Marry for the first time as an elder

Never have children

Live in all worlds through lifetime

[genshin-impact-updates]

Developer Insight #4: Character Stories (I) - "Vigilant Yaksha" Xiao (Part I)

Greetings, Travelers!

It's been almost five whole months since Genshin Impact went live, and the time seems to have flown by! We do hope you're all enjoying a smooth journey through Teyvat. Since the game's release, we have received a great deal of feedback and suggestions from Travelers and we've systematically recorded each one for the developers. We deeply appreciate all the time, energy, and passion everyone puts in to these suggestions.

In the midst of this, many of you have expressed an interest in learning more about how some of Genshin Impact's characters are created. As it happens, one character who has received an especially high amount of attention is Xiao, who has now entered the live game with the release of Version 1.3, "All That Glitters." So, for this issue, we've invited colleagues from the Creative Concept & Writing, Concept Art, and Animation departments to explain a bit about the thought process behind everyone's favorite Vigilant Yaksha.

1. The Vigilant Yaksha Is Born: A Character Woven From Cultural Symbolism

Hello everyone, my name is Zhongyuan from the Creative Concept & Writing department of miHoYo.

The first part of the process when designing characters for Genshin Impact is to pin down who the character is at their core. In this step, we need to establish the features that set this character apart from other characters. Besides ensuring that this character will make a strong impression on people, these features are used to evaluate what this character's position in the world of Genshin Impact will be. Characters are not just lumps of rock that we can place anywhere we want in the environment; they are autonomous individuals, each one with a complex set of past, present, and future interactions with the world of Teyvat. Their core features, then, represent their initial points of contact with the world. They are the guiding principles behind all the character's actions and how they live their life.

Xiao was one of the first Liyue characters we came up with. He began with our colleague CiCi's proposal for a young warrior character, which everyone involved in the character evaluation process approved of. The Art team envisaged him as a young man of great beauty, while colleagues in Creative Concept & Writing hoped to position him as a beautiful adeptus. Both sides were on the same page, and thus Xiao became our very first character planned with the identity of "mighty and illuminated adeptus."

Although this is somewhat tangential, I'd like to take a moment here to give a little more detail on the adepti in the Genshin Impact universe, given that so many players have expressed an interest in this topic. The adepti are based on the idea of demigod-like "immortals" (仙人 xianren) in Daoism, and are referred to by the honorific title "sanyan wuxian" (三眼五显), literally "three eyes and five manifestations" (but localized in English as "mighty and illuminated"). The adepti are classed as non-human, based on the notion that "All who have nine orifices can achieve immortality through self-discipline," a line uttered by the "Monkey King" Sun Wukong in the Ming-dynasty novel Journey to the West. This means that animals are also capable of achieving adeptus status. However, humans have a higher purpose than adepti in the world of Teyvat, so for this reason, only those of non-human status can be referred to as "adepti" in Liyue. The "three eyes" part of the adepti's title refers to the "third eye" possessed by those with the ability to manipulate elemental energy, which for humans takes the form of a Vision. For adepti such as Cloud Retainer and Mountain Shaper, the human understanding is that they must have an "inner eye" that serves the same purpose as a Vision. Xiao, however, typically appears in a human form, so he dutifully wears a Vision to comply with the expected norm.

After the character's fundamentals are established, the next step is to design their Constellation and refine their cultural background.

Outside of Genshin Impact, the term "sanyan wuxian" can be traced back to ancient Chinese texts and also appears in supernatural fiction from the Late Imperial period (c. 1368–1911 CE). In both cases, it typically describes the Daoist deity Huaguang Tianwang (华光天王, "Heavenly King of Radiant Light"), also known as Ma Lingguan (马灵官, "Numinous Official Ma"). Huaguang Tianwang is a well-known guardian deity, who appears in the Ming-dynasty novel Journey to the South, in which he has an altercation with Sun Wukong. Research into folk culture also shows there is precedent to connect deities known as Wuxian (五显, "Five manifestations" or "Five Named Xian") with a group of malevolent deities known as Wutong (五通, "Five Powers" or "Five Named Tong"), which includes the one-legged, people-eating, mountain-dwelling demons known as Shanxiao (山魈, "mountain demon").

So, at the most hidden but fundamental level of this character's core, we decided on the name Xiao (魈) and the identity of a guardian-adeptus. The name Xiao is used to hide his past, but also embodies this character at the innermost part of his soul. It is the starting point for all further character development and cultural embellishments.

Another dimension of Xiao's design was that he wields an Anemo Vision and has a fleet-footed and agile combat style that includes the unique ability to propel himself through the air. To stay true to this, we decided to design his Constellation and skills around the idea of the yaksha in Buddhism. This meant we were conflating ideas from different sources; nevertheless, the yaksha had become a well-established figure in Chinese folk legends by at least the end of the Tang dynasty (618–907 CE). The yaksha element ended up being a crucial part of Xiao's design that really helped us flesh him out in terms of his image.

The two archetypal stories of "guardian yaksha" and "numinous official's redemption" both involve a malevolent spirit on a path towards goodness, which was consistent with the general direction of Xiao's character core. Furthermore, his physical agility matched very well with another term for yaksha in Chinese, "Swift and nimble spirit" (捷疾鬼 jieji gui). Through further development of the yaksha concept, we arrived at the decision that the other fundamental aspect of Xiao's identity would be his role as a guardian yaksha in service of a monarch, or in this case, an archon.

One detail is particularly worth mentioning here. There is a well-known group of guardian yakshas in some Buddhist denominations known as the Twelve Heavenly Generals. All but one of them correspond to different animals in the Chinese zodiac, while Mekhila, who would otherwise correspond to the rooster, is instead associated with a bird deity, the golden-winged Garuda, a figure from various Indian religions. The story goes that this golden-winged bird deity was a fearsome predator who ate only evil dragons, until one day the dragon poison he had consumed became too much for him to bear, and he burned to death, leaving only a crystal heart behind. This story seemed to resonate with aspects of Xiao's character. Furthermore, the Chinese name Jinchi Peng Wang Niao (金翅鹏王鸟, "Golden Winged Great Peng") embodies a history of evolution — it represents a convergence between Garuda and the Peng, a Chinese mythological bird, showing that some adaptation occurred in the process of his adoption into Chinese religion. After much consideration, we decided to use the Golden Winged Great Peng as the basis for Xiao's Constellation. In English, Xiao's Constellation has been localized as "Alatus Nemeseos," in reference to the bird deity and Xiao's role as the nemesis of evil.

Finally, we conducted an overall review of Xiao's character profile. During this process, we noticed that Xiao's origins were very complex: Some aspects of his identity were based on folk legends while others drew on religious stories. From mountain demon, to Daoist deity, to guardian yaksha, to mythological bird, this was a uniquely rich character formed from the convergence and refashioning of many ideas in one place. More importantly, all these elements were consistent with each other at the narrative layer, creating a strong and cohesive impression of who this character is and adding clear, nuanced substance to his story. This degree of complexity gave Xiao just the depth and appeal that we were hoping for with this character: we hoped to create something entirely new through the convergence and fusion of various cultural elements, and we hope that the end result, Xiao, possesses the power, aesthetic value, and maturity to become a true cultural icon.

The next step was shaping the character's personality and behavior.

After close consultation with Concept Art colleagues, Creative Concept & Writing further fine-tuned the details of this character's content. To pick one example, we all felt that the distinctive image of a young warrior was an important one that we wanted to keep. This begged the question: if Xiao is a warrior, who or what is he waging war against? We quickly got to thinking about a war between the gods. (See section 2 of this article for how Concept Art developed the mask design based on this idea.) One of the basic rules of the Genshin Impact world is that gods cannot be completely destroyed — even if a god's physical form is destroyed, its will and power live on. The remnants and the wrath of the defeated god will remain in the world, waiting for opportunities to cause chaos. To keep Liyue safe from this threat, somebody has to go and keep them at bay.

The decision to release Xiao at Lantern Rite was to tie in with the Chinese custom of driving away evil spirits at the new year, since Xiao's role in Liyue is that of a protector in precisely this capacity.

During festivals, people offer up incense and pray to the adepti for their protection.

But they do not pray to Xiao.

For Xiao is no lucky star that promises fame and fortune — he is a demon-hunting yaksha.

After the lantern lights of Liyue have faded, the thankless battle to protect the city goes on unseen. It is an endless battle, and there can be no victor.

The Traveler's first impression of Xiao is most likely to be of a silent and brooding individual, a courageous and competent fighter, and someone who harbors great suffering. This suffering comes from within Xiao himself. One aspect is that the years of intense, never-ending battle against the remnants of defeated gods have led to him resigning himself to the fact that fighting is all he is good at. The other aspect is that the remnants have a negative effect on him, while the constant killing places a karmic burden on him, causing him mental and spiritual anguish.

This inner suffering is present in the design of his skills: when Xiao uses "Bane of All Evil," he dons his mask, which continually enhances his combat abilities but also continually drains his health. This demonstrates the great suffering he must endure as a consequence of using this power.

After the Traveler has spent some time with Xiao, perhaps they can sense that deep down, Xiao has a gentler side. Xiao is by no means a cruel and callous individual, he is simply reticent to show his emotions to others.

Xiao always keeps his distance from the hustle and bustle of human society. This is not because he doesn't care about humanity, but is due to his role as a protector. He must wage war against dark forces out of sight of humans, and endure a suffering that is incomprehensible to them. Despite this, he does not despise humanity. Humans are the foundation of his millennia-old contract with Rex Lapis, and the reason he silently fights to protect every living soul in Liyue.

The player's first offer to Xiao is to go to the Lantern Rite together to experience the atmosphere. Xiao instinctively refuses requests of this nature— not because he dislikes the idea, but out of avoidance. For Xiao, who has lived for millennia, the human world is a brilliant but fleeting flash of light; a wisp of cloud floating by; a firework on the horizon. And as the one tasked with defending this flurry of activity, he is like a caged beast circling the fire of a stove: fearful, but also full of curiosity. Having watched from a distance for so long, he would not know how to join in with the crowd even if he tried.

The lanterns rise up into the night sky, as if to shine along with the stars. Xiao watches this beautiful sight alone from a mountaintop, and just like anyone else, he senses the sentiment behind them, and he understands that the reason people craft these beautiful things is to remember those who fought alongside him in the past. As one who lived through the events of the past and remembers it all, he is, of course, able to appreciate the well-wishes that the lanterns represent. He understands kindness and gratitude, but doesn't know how to interact with ordinary people, nor does he know what his place is among all the excitement and noise. This lonely state of existence is the source of his melancholy. It has caused time to stand still, leading to him still having a very young mentality even to this day.

During the main Liyue questline, Xiao came to the Traveler's rescue in their moment of peril. In Version 1.3 "All That Glitters," we invite Travelers once again to experience a story that provides a glimpse into Xiao's seldom-shown gentle nature, as well as the trust, hidden deep within his heart, that he places in you.

2. A Young Adeptus: Detail-Based Design

Hello everyone, this is D and SS from the Genshin Impact Art team. We worked on the concept art for Xiao.

After the initial brief, we produced a first draft of Xiao's design based on the young warrior concept. As you can see, Xiao's expression in this version is far from the stern one he wears today. He has a gentler temperament and he is smiling. In this sense, he captures a more traditional notion of what a Daoist immortal (or in Genshin Impact terms, an adeptus) might look like. After more discussion with Creative Concept & Writing colleagues and taking more of his back story into account, we decided on the green version.

Xiao is an adeptus who protects Liyue, and in the course of his long battle against the remnants of defeated gods all over Liyue, he has become poisoned by their nefarious energy. Based on this background, Xiao's upper body uses white and green, which represent the adepti and correlate to his Anemo Vision. For his lower body, we used darker colors to represent the dark, malevolent power that exists inside him.

Based on these same principles, we gave him dark hair with highlights, and also created some interplay between light and dark in his attack animations. The darkness represents the destructive power of fierce battle, while the fragments and orbs of light that he gives off come from the fact that he is an adeptus.

Xiao may have the appearance of a young man, but his true age is something over two thousand years.

Fortunately, people do not tend to underestimate him on the basis of his appearance — one only needs to spend a short time with Xiao to recognize that he is not someone to be trifled with.

Xiao is a man of few words. He is highly dangerous, and has the most piercing gaze you've ever seen.

Given Xiao's true age and his identity as an adeptus, we decided to give him some jade jewelry to bring a sense of longevity and mystery. Accordingly, his legs, wrists, and shoulders feature decorative jade as well as various other objects bearing simple motifs. Meanwhile, to match his young appearance with striking good looks, we tailored his clothing (especially on the upper body) using a more modern design, displaying his vibrancy and agility.

On the one hand, Xiao is an immortal adeptus, while on the other hand, he is a young warrior. This is a great variance in image, and it posed a significant challenge for us from an art perspective. Traditionally, an immortal is imagined as a scholarly figure dressed in long, flowing robes with wide sleeves, who is fairly reserved in the movements of their hands and feet. But Xiao, as a master of the dance-like art of polearm combat and a fleet-footed yaksha, required clothing that offers both protection and freedom of movement. Furthermore, we also knew that there were strict limits on any flowing parts of his outfit due to the risk of clipping they would create after 3D modeling.

So we made Xiao's garments close-fitting and short-sleeved, put some light gauntlets on his wrists, and added some religious paraphernalia such as a censer and a vajra. Meanwhile, his streamers and the breechcloths around his waist are decorated with a cloud motif to add a sense of antiquity. In this way, we achieved a union between practicality and ethereality.

"Bane of All Evil" — the four words that sum up what Xiao has experienced over the past millennia, according to Liyue's rulers who know the truth about him.

In the design of Xiao's mask, we referenced aspects of the masks traditionally used in exorcism rituals as part of Nuo (傩) folk religion.

The main colors used in these masks are black, blue, and gold, the eyes are bright but not flamboyant, and in general the masks look solemn but also mysterious. The sinister-looking bulging eyes, fangs, and horns instill fear in the viewer. The eye in the center of the forehead represents omniscience and the flame motifs make it all the more imposing, the intent being to cause all onlookers to cower in fear.

Xiao's release coincides with the ancient festival of Lantern Rite. We would like to use this historic occasion as a chance to send our best wishes to everyone — here's to deliverance from the ills that plague the real world as well as those that face us in the world of Teyvat. To fans of Xiao reading this, we hope you feel that learning a little about the design ethos gave you the chance to better understand and connect with this character.

(Continued in Part 2)

[yuusa]

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝟏𝟑

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟔𝟐𝟒𝟒

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟑:

You pressed your lips together, staring at the board with a look of boredom and displeasure. There was an itchy feeling in your chest, it made you feel deeply uncomfortable. It’s almost as if today was going to be one of misery, you couldn’t tell if it’s just some sort of psychic reading or it’s because you have a test soon, it may even be both. You sighed and resisted the urge to lean your chair back to stretch, but the teacher was going over something important about the test.

You turned to the side, seeing Tohru fidget with one of her pencils to calm herself about the upcoming tests. She was wearing a new ribbon today. It was a soft shade of blue that had bits of lace on its edges, did she recently buy that? You wondered if she would get tutored by Yuki like he said they do, the upcoming test would be for math. It must be nice to have someone constantly tutor you and helping, but you quickly tried to dismiss this idea as a selfish need. Yuki was kind enough to help you with math the other day and you didn’t want to take advantage of his skills or generosity.

You didn’t need anyone or anything in this life if it meant making others happy.

You were better off alone and that is the truth, you thought. If you were God’s Messenger, perhaps your first message should be to announce the disbandment of the Zodiacs, maybe that would give equal freedom to everyone but yourself. You didn’t know exactly what the Zodiacs were going to do when they were free, but they could live their lives as regular animals with a stronger sense of friendship. You really didn’t know exactly what would happen, but it was simply a thought.

You yawned into your hand, feeling small droplets of tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You eyed Yuki silently, noticing the way he continued to tap the tip of his pencil against his paper as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand. He was extremely hardworking despite not wanting to clean his room. He is really cool, you thought. He smiles so often to the other girls in the class and can interact with them at a certain distance, whenever he was in a good mood he would shine even brighter than he already is, it was almost blinding, to say the least.

His eyes were a nice shade of grayish blue as well. They rarely ever looked strange underneath the light and they expressed so much of himself that you felt a bit envious. You nibbled on the bottom of your lip, you were starting to feel bad about yourself in class just because your eyes weren’t as good or pretty like Yuki’s.

You sighed and tried to write in your journal to keep your mind away from it. You noticed the small crease in one of the older pages, knowing that you rarely ever fold the paper or damage it, it was slightly suspicious. It seemed to be on the page when you came over to the Sohma household, did someone go through your journal? If so, when did this happen? Before you could explore this thought the sound of the bell rang echoed in the room, dismissing all of the students at once.

You almost forgot that you had to do your rounds today around the school for the committee, luckily you went through your previous pages to see that you had written yourself a reminder. As you were packing up your belongings, Yuki came to your side, already finished with his own things. You suppose that he wanted to do the rounds around the school with you this time instead of usually splitting up.

“You look better today, (L/n)-san, just a bit tired though.” He commented, your face turning away from him as you quickly packed your things into your bag.

“I suppose so. Where would you like to go first?” You asked, already knowing that the two of you needed to make your rounds at school.

“We could try the first couple of floors together and make our way up.” He responded, giving you a smile with his familiar grey eyes shining underneath the classroom lights.

You pressed your lips together in slight jealousy but nodded, “sure. We can go now.”

Yuki noticed the small pout on your lips during class but decided not to comment on it, finding the situation strange to explain if he were to talk about it. You were looking much calmer on the outside today, but he thought that you might have a whirlwind of thoughts by the way you continuously wrote in your journal. He wondered if what he said yesterday was affecting your mood.

“(L/n)-san, something is still bothering you despite our conversation yesterday.” He commented, “do you. . . Feel like I’m not really your friend?” 

You halted your steps, the two of you standing in the hallway only a few steps away from the classroom you exited. You didn’t know exactly how to respond to his comment, there was not much to say and you didn’t want to bother him with something dull like your problems. 

“It’s not that. . . I don’t want to raise concerns, I’m fine.” Before you could continue walking he tugged on your wrist, keeping you there.

Before he could say another word, you silently ‘booped’ his nose with your index finger. His cheeks turned a bright shade of red as you turned away from him.

“Relax Sohma-san. I’m fine.” You gave him a teasing smile before continuing to walk down the hallway.

Yuki sighed in response as he held his hand up towards his face, the unexpected gesture from you being unfamiliar as his cheeks slowly calmed down. He quickly walked to catch up to you, choosing to trust in your word that everything was alright.

While you still felt the ominous telling of the future, you thought to be on edge. You hoped that Yuki hadn’t noticed it but it seems as if he really wanted to be your actual friend. You tightened your grip around your journal as you both walked around the school in relative silence. 

You didn’t know exactly why being real friends mattered to him, he could easily make other friends that were much better than you, much easier to manage and easier to talk to. You dolefully stared at each of the classrooms and halls, doing your duty while minding your own thoughts. 

You were so gloomy. 

You frowned in response to your own comments before turning to look at Yuki. His beautiful eyes and soft hair, those fluttering long eyelashes, it was hard to deny that you were envious to the bone. You constantly compared yourself to him, the thought making you feel worse by the second. You grit your teeth, the action going unnoticed by Yuki as you both walked up the flight of stairs. 

Was it truly worth worrying about something you couldn’t change? 

You spent so much time worrying about yourself instead of actually wanting to protect others. . . You were. . . Too selfish. No matter how beautiful the outside of Yuki’s eyes were, there was always this hint of sorrow hidden beneath the color. You connected with him in a way, a subtle feeling but it still existed like a small string looped around your fingers.

Perhaps he could be the Rat to the Eagle’s destiny. 

Maybe he already is. 

You should try to open up to him, you thought. Instead of constantly worrying and thinking about the problems you may never fix or find resolve in, you could help someone else and see them smile as brightly as you wanted to shine. To erase the sadness that burdens the rat. . . That’s the job of God’s Messenger. 

There was this feeling of hope blooming within your chest.

You are the Eagle in the story.

The two of you finally approached the other floor, noticing Tohru being surrounded by a familiar group of boys from the Sohma family. While Kyo stood by her side while scolding at Momiji for his poor taste in clothing, Haru was standing there casually, his choice of wardrobe being nearly as bad as Momiji’s. You wondered if it was an inherited trait in the Sohma family to have poor taste in clothing or they were rebellious children who wanted to wear their own clothing. Everyone other than Yuki had a strange sense of fashion, but it wasn’t far fetched to say his choices are not weird as well.

Haru quickly notices Yuki coming up the steps, ignoring your presence as he went up to grip at Yuki’s sides. You wondered why he and the rest of the family constantly ignore you but you chose to believe that it was because you were an outsider. 

“Sheesh, I can’t believe you’re wearing that Momiji. Haru, you too.” Yuki said, the white-haired male staring at him, clearly tuning him out for a moment.

“Yuki-kun, (Y/n)-kun, are you both done with committee work?” You raised your eyebrow, noticing the sudden change in the way Tohru addressed Yuki. She was actually calling him bt his given name for once. Perhaps they really did get much closer in the past couple of days. 

The tinge of sadness poked at your heart, but you couldn’t understand why.

“No, not yet. We were doing our rounds at school and just happened to come across the two of you.” He responded, referring to the two rule-breaking students that couldn’t follow the dress code properly.

“Hey, Tohru! Guess what? I got told not to run around or horseplay at school because I might crash into a girl! So while I’m at school, I’m gonna play it cool!" Momiji added, gathering the rest of the groups' attention onto you, the outsider who heard this suspicious line. 

“Cool?! Is that outfit cool?!” Kyo shouted back. 

You stood there blank, not really knowing what to say. It seems as if they weren’t allowed to physically hug any girls at school, which does correlate to Yuki’s strange habit of pushing other girls away. 

Are the Sohma family. . . Allergic to girls? 

You deadpanned. 

“Your dubiousness is justified, Sohma Kyo of Class 2-D! Your orange hair bothers me, but a boy wearing a girl’s uniform is unprecedented! Brazen! Shameless!” The brown-haired upperclassman with his other council members stood beside him, all three of them wore classes, which you thought was an interesting thing to point out. “The teachers may allow it, but I will not! For I am student council president Takei Makoto!“ 

Crap. . . You thought, it’s Takei Makoto. 

You and Yuki facepalmed, trying not to get involved in this strange situation you were both tangled up in. More specifically, Yuki, as this was his entire family being criticized underneath the student council president. 

“Another idiot appears,” Haru comments. 

Takei raised his voice, stepping just a few feet away from Haru’s face, “just what do you think you’re doing, Sohma Hatsuharu? Your hair is white! And you’re practically jangling with jewelry. The audacity!”

“President Takei, that’s his natural hair.” Yuki clarified, holding up his hand to create distance between him and his cousin.

“Oh, Yuki-kun! (L/n)-san! How nice to see you both! But more important, natural?! Part of it is black!” Takei’s eyes seemed to have grown into hearts as he looked at both of you, finally acknowledging your presence. 

“Even so. . .” Yuki continued. 

You almost forgot that this student council was also highly infatuated with Yuki, similar to the way everyone else is also into him. You wanted to massage your head as you felt a migraine growing at the sound of his loud voice. 

“I don’t believe it! It goes against common sense!” He retorted, getting even closer to Haru’s face to examine his features. “Now what’s the meaning of your appearance? Is that your natural self, eh, Sohma Momiji?! Have you no male pride? If you’re like this at your age, your life is on the fast track to failure!”

“But. . . But this uniform looks better on me!” Momiji’s eyes began to tear up as you pressed your lips together into a frown. 

You quickly stepped between both of them, stopping Tohru in her path and pushing Takei back a few centimeters from Momiji. 

“That should be enough from you, President Takei.” 

Momiji’s eyes widened, seeing your intimidating presence being officially recognized to the entire group, your cold, harsh glare staring straight into Takei’s lens covered eyes. Takei seemed flustered at the sudden intrusion but he quickly adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. Your eyes sharpened slightly as you focused your attention on the upperclassman in front of you, you certainly didn’t want to hear him degrade another student’s future.

He began to grit his teeth as he adjusted his glasses frames once more, trying too hard to look cool, “with all respect (L/n)-san, how could you stand by this rule-breaker?! Don’t you think he has no sense of pride?!” 

“I don’t think it’s much of an issue. If he feels the most comfortable, then that is what matters,” You addressed, crossing your arms across your chest, “our job here at school is to make the students feel safe and welcome, I doubt giving them an earful would help them.” 

“That is true! But we have specific rules that we all need to follow! I respect your opinion here (L/n)-san, but-”

“Shut up. Quit playing king of the hill, you human trash.” Haru interrupted. 

“Wh-wh-wh-what” Takei stuttered as Haru grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. 

“Oi, Haru!” Kyo shouted, trying to pull him away from Takei. 

“Fine, let me ask you: are guys wearing neckties never muggers? Are guys without piercings never bullies? Do guys with black hair never murder people?!” Haru violently shook the poor man around, his brain easily turning to mush as if it was being stirred around like a smoothie, “who do you think you are, eh? God? Well, ain’t that something! Give us a few words! God! Go on!”

You could see Takei’s soul slipping away from his body as Haru continued to shake him. 

Kyo gripped onto Haru’s shoulder, stopping him from turning Takei into some sort of drink by the excessive amount of shaking, “oi, cut it out! He’s got no training!”

“Butt out you stupid cat!”

“Don’t call me stupid you damn brat!”

“Oh? Don’t act like you’re so great! You ran from our last fight with your tail between your legs!” The two of them crashed against each other, their forehead grinding against one another as they stared at each other with a heated gaze. 

“You’re the one who called that fight off!”

“What are you on his side?! You think he’s right!?”

You clicked your tongue before shoving the two of them apart, “what are you two? Children? Knock it off.” You glared at them, causing both of them to cower down and turn their heads away from you, the argument settling down as quickly as it started. 

It was odd to see Haru not comment against you, but it seemed like even your gaze affected him. He quickly made his way to the other council members who were trying to bring Takei back to life, his body dangling lifelessly in their arms. 

“Hey, ladies,” Haru greeted.

“Don’t drag them into it. . .” Kyo said, his hand on his forehead as his brain started to ache at Haru’s nonsense.

“What do you think? Take Momiji there—don’t you think he’s fine in that uniform? He’ll grow eventually. What’s the harm in waiting to dress like a man until then? He’ll be a real looker, trust me.” The other girls turned their heads to see Momiji happily enjoying the candy lollipop he had in his hands. 

They quickly imagined a much older boy, his curly blond hair, and eyes becoming more mature as he gave the girls an imaginary wink. “He’s fine.” The girls responded, holding out their hands to worship the shorter boy.

“Don’t let him brainwash you!” Takei quickly stood up, still trying to defend his own point of view against someone as stubborn as Haru. “Wh-Wh-What’s the matter with you?! This is unheard of!”

“It’s always best to wear what looks good on you, huh? It’s like (L/n)-san said, whatever makes you comfortable!” Haru patted the top of Momiji’s head, the smaller boy feeling content as he continued to suck on the lollipop that he pulled out from his pocket.

You raised your eyebrows once again, you didn’t quite understand Haru’s behavior. There were moments where he would become calmer and then go back to being heated the next second. You were more surprised to hear that he actually addressed you by name this time.

“Unacceptable! That’s pure selfishness, and unfair to the other students—“

“You just won’t quit. Okay, then, what if Yuki wore a girl’s uniform?” Haru suggested. 

Takei went through a moment of shocking realization, his mind immediately picturing Yuki in the girl’s uniform, calling out his name in his girlish voice.

“It’s fine.” He responded, tears streaming down his eyes as he pictured such a glorious image.

You visibly cringed, “what? That’s disgusting.”

The rest of the group stared at you in shock, not knowing that you felt such strong revulsion against the idea of Yuki wearing feminine clothing. Yuki felt the most surprised, hearing you voice your own objection regarding his outer appearance. 

Could you really blame yourself for disliking the idea of forcing Yuki into girly clothing? It looked greatly uncomfortable and it made you sick seeing him constantly put up with the school for his image.

“Wh-Wh-What?! (L/n)-san, are you saying that Yuki-kun would look disgusting?!” Takei shouted, holding up his hand in a tightened fist, trying to preserve the image of Yuki in a girls' uniform in his head. 

“It’s gross. Could you stop making him uncomfortable by putting him in girl’s clothing?” You stared at him, disinterested in hearing the rest of his opinions, “don’t you ever think about what he has to say? Sorry President Takei, but it’s disgusting to even see.” 

Yuki clutched onto the sleeve of his uniform, feeling a sense of warmth eluding in his body as he heard you continue to bicker with Takei about him in a girls' uniform. At first, he thought you had called him disgusting but it seems much clearer that you acknowledge Yuki’s discomfort in being misgendered. Despite your harsh tone, it sounds as if you genuinely cared about his wellbeing more than he actually knew. His cheeks felt slightly hot as he watched you continue to tell Takei to quit harassing the students. 

He had his doubts earlier when the two of you were walking together around the school. He often wondered if he was the one being the horrible friend by constantly putting you off, or even hiding things that put pressure on your relationship.

You tilted your head over your shoulder, giving Yuki a look of understanding and a small, subtle smile. You watched as his cheeks heated up before you turned away. 

You made him felt as if there was someone who understood him.

Your cheeks felt hot to the touch. You didn’t know the exact reason why you blurted out such things, but it felt. . . Relieving? It felt nice being able to express your true thoughts and finally relieving Yuki of his image of “princess”. While Takei and Haru argued about the decision of clothes, it made you wonder about the way Yuki felt being forced into girlish clothing. You had already known from the start, based on the doleful look in his eyes that he never enjoyed any part of the school festival when dressed as a girl. 

You could understand that feeling. You didn’t like the idea of being forced into clothing that didn’t represent who you were. You felt much better voicing your objections. It’s a nice feeling, it was as if heavyweights were lifted off of you when you were finally able to say something for the sake of someone else.

Perhaps there is more to this than you realized. 

“O-Oh, dear. I seem to have gotten carried away!” Takei turned around and adjusted his glasses with his finger.

“You’re a formidable opponent, Sohma Hatsuharu and (L/n) (Y/n),” You restrained a yawn as Takei spun around and pointed towards Haru, “can you prove that’s your natural color, then?!”

Haru held up his arms as he relaxed his head against them, his laid-back personality starting to frustrate Takei, “sure can.”

“Oho, you have proof? Hard evidence that—“ Before he could even continue his sentence, Takei was forcefully dragged into the nearest boy’s restroom, “um. . . excuse me. . .?” He stumbled on his feet, his sense of balance warped as Haru tugged on his clothing.

The two of them disappeared into the bathroom. There was a short period of silence before the echoed screams of Takei bounced off of the walls and into your ears. Tohru squeaked in surprise while everyone seemed unaffected by the turn of events. In a few minutes, Takei stepped out, taking off his glasses as his face was pale with shock.

“Incontrovertible proof. I see I still have much to learn about the world,” He commented.

Haru shortly followed after, his face showing a smug and cocky smile.

Did he show him? Kyo thought.

He showed him, Yuki responded, almost as if they both had telepathic minds to read each other’s thoughts.

Pervert. You stared at the two of them with a confused look.

“You win this time! But I’ll get you all next time!” The student council members quickly fled from the scene while Haru stayed smirking, the feeling of pride and victory flowing through his veins.

“Did you actually show yo—“ Kyo wrapped his hand around your mouth, quickly silencing you. Your voice became muffled underneath his hand. 

“D-Don’t say it! Moron!” You resisted the urge to punch him but he removed his hand before you could even raise yours.

“Um. . . How did you prove that was your natural hair color?” Tohru asked, staring at Haru with a puzzled look in her eyes.

Yuki and Kyo went pale as Tohru asked such a strange question in her aloof personality. You wondered how dense Tohru was to not know how to prove one’s natural hair color, it was already suspicious enough considering that Haru dragged Takei into the bathroom.

“Wanna do it and find out? I’m in if you are.” Haru pulled Tohru close to him, his hand gently caressing her cheek, “it’s fine, we don’t have to be hugging each other to—“

Before he could even get another word into the explanation, Yuki and Kyo punched him to the ground, the two of them huffing either in anger or tiredness. 

“Dark is the one guy I can’t handle. . .” Kyo scoffed.

“Never mind. Don’t worry about it, Honda-san.” Yuki responded.

You wondered why they referred to Haru as “dark”, maybe it was simply because of how easily his personality changed to someone casual to serious. He was quite odd, to say the least. 

“I’m kinda tired now,” Haru responded, his hand gripping onto the sore spot of his head. He seemed to have calmed down and his voice sounded emotionless. 

“Oh, yeah? You’re tired, huh?” Kyo groaned.

The sound of the school bell ringing caught all of your attention, you now realized that you and Yuki actually didn’t finish your rounds around the school as you spent most of your time here.

“Ah! That's the bell!” Momiji called out.

“Would you be willing to meet my friends before you go home today?” Tohru asked, wanting to invite Momiji and Haru into a game of badminton after school with Uotani and Hanajima.

“Your friends? Sure, of course!” He responded happily, lifting his arms as he expressed his joy in full. “That reminds me—Hey, Yuki, and Kyo!”

“Could you stay behind? I need to tell you something.” He added. The two boys turned their attention towards Momiji.

“Then, (Y/n)-kun and I will go on ahead then,” Tohru responded.

“Sorry, Tohru.” Momiji apologized, only to be met with her shaking her head as she told him that it would be fine.

You nodded before leaving with Tohru, the two of you silently walking down the stairs, leaving the Sohma family to deal with whatever conflict that may have arisen.

“Ah, sorry for disturbing your duties (Y/n)-kun!” Tohru apologized, bringing her hands to her chest as she clasped them.

You shook your head, “it’s okay. I could always do them later today.”

You both finally approached the bottom floor as you continued walking down the path to your classroom. You noticed that the cherry blossom trees were in full bloom today, you silently admired them while Tohru continued to think about the Sohma family.

“You both look like you’re having fun.” A familiar voice called out, you and Tohru slowly turned to face the unknown person.

His dark hair flowed with the wind, the cherry blossom tree’s petals falling from the sky like snow.

“A. . . Akito-san. . .?” You muttered, your eyes widening at the sight of him at the school, his wardrobe still as plain as you last saw him on Valentine's Day.

Tohru flinched at your reaction, unsure about what to say or feel.

“It’s nice to see you again, (L/n)-san. . .” Akito said, slowly approaching you and Tohru. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

You’ve only seen him last time on Valentine's Day, which wasn’t even that long ago. Despite the dullness and emotionless look in his eyes, he stared down at Tohru with a focused gaze. The shorter girl panicked on the inside but tried to remain calm.

“Are you. . . Akito-san?” Tohru asked.

“That’s right. . . Honda Tohru.” He responded, his voice much dryer compared to when he was talking to you.

Tohru felt a jolt in her body as she quickly bowed down in front of him, “I’m very pleased to meet you!”  

Tohru looked intimidated by him. Your eyes turned towards Akito who was still looming above her figure, watching and studying each of the muscles that she moved. You didn’t understand whether or not Tohru had connections with Akito, her reaction to him seems as if she knows something.

“Well, you strike me as feminine and gentle.” Akito commented, referring to Tohru, “thank goodness you seem to be a good person. And most importantly, you’re quite cute.” He smiled.  

Tohru straightened her back, flailing her arms around in embarrassment, “what? Oh, no, you flatter—���

Akito laughed, the familiar tune of his voice giving you slight shivers down your spine, there was something unsettling about his tone towards Tohru, “don’t get flustered. You really are cute. Sorry, it took me so long to introduce myself. I’m just rather shy of strangers.”

Thats odd. . . He was the one to talk to you first, even though you were a complete stranger to him. You pressed your lips into a thin line, was he lying?

“Akito-san. . . What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to piece together the situation in front of you. Akito looked back at you and smiled, reaching out to your cheek to stroke it slowly.

“I only wanted to see the two of you of course. I heard many great things about Honda-san.” Something about his tone didn’t seem right to you. It made you feel a bit strange on the inside. “I know I haven’t kept in touch with you in a while. . . I’ve been quite busy.”

Your eyes trembled underneath his gaze, the touch of his cold hand contrasting the warmth of your skin as you both stared at each other. You still didn’t understand why Akito would be here, none of what he is saying made any sense to you whatsoever.

Unbeknownst to the three of you, Yuki’s eyes widened at the sight of Akito holding onto you, his hand pressed against the window before he sprinted down the stairs.

“How are you doing (L/n)-san? We should communicate more often you know.” Akito asked.

“I’m. . . I’m doing fine.” You responded, pulling away from his grasps, “there isn’t much going on.”

Akito hummed in response, feeling unsatisfied by your words. He quickly stepped back a few feet, “well, let me formally introduce myself to both of you.” 

“I’m Akito, the current Sohma family head. Pleased to meet you.” He introduced himself with a small bow.

Your heart dropped as you felt yourself almost losing your grip on your journal.

He‘s. . . Part of the Sohma family? Your blood felt as if it had been frozen over, the shock coursing through your veins as you looked at him in disbelief. He was related to Yuki all this time? When you first saw his appearance, it wasn’t just a coincidence then. . .

“I’d like for us to get along well. . . And please take care of Yuki and the others.” From the corner of Akito’s eyes, he could see the way you looked back at him in confusion, your brain trying to rack up any sort of information between your encounter to find a reasonable explanation for everything.

Such beautiful eyes. . . He thought, feeling the sense of joy and pleasure as he ravished the look in your eyes. There was something so satisfying seeing you make a similar face to Yuki, it might even be a better reaction than him.

“Akito!” The sound of Yuki’s voice interrupted the tense atmosphere.

“Ah, Yuki!” Akito called out, you spun around to see Yuki’s distraught expression, his eyes beginning to tremble at the sight of him.  Akito opened his arms out, “I’ve missed you, Yuki! You know, it feels like it’s been forever since I last saw you. You’re looking grown-up and taller—“

“What did you do?” Yuki cut him off, “what did you say to them?!

“Nothing. I was just saying hello to an old friend and Tohru-san.” Akito turned around to face Tohru, “right, Tohru-san? Wasn’t I just saying hello?”

The tension in the air continued to grow as your nails dug into the material of the journal cover.

An old friend? Yuki thought, turning his attention onto your figure that Akito was associated with. When did the two of you meet. . . ?

“Um, yes!” Tohru responded, feeling unsure about what to say in the situation. She could feel the tension in the air, as Akito confronted Yuki while in your presence.

“More importantly, Yuki. . .” Akito went back to Yuki, stepping in front of him as Yuki tightened his fist, “. . . there’s something I really want to ask you.”

Akito reached out to caress his cheek, similar to the way he treated you as Yuki’s hair strands flowed over his knuckles like a stream of water. The look of fear and terror reflected in Yuki’s grayish orbs, the irises trembling as much as his body was.

“Why did you skip New Year’s? Why would you do that? And when I’ve become so generous lately, too. When you do things like that, it seriously hurts my feelings.” Akito stared at Yuki with a menacing glare.

New Year’s. . .? The time of the Zodiac banquet. . .? You didn’t understand why your brain made that connection, but there was something so frightening seeing Yuki stand there petrified.

You didn’t understand.

You clenched the area around your heart, the feeling becoming painful like thousands of spikes piercing through your organ.

“Do I have to reeducate you, I wonder?” The shine in Yuki’s eyes completely disappeared, leaving only a dark and dull look in them, “in your special room? Will I be forced to spend long days teaching you proper disposition again?”

Akito traced his finger against Yuki’s lips as Yuki tilted his eyes away from him, trying to avoid his deathly gaze. His body was violently trembling as Akito continued to press him further.

Special. . . Room?

“I hate you. . . I hate you!” She smacked you across the face before throwing the porcelain bowl against the floor, the material shattering in front of the altar of God. The bowl nearly missed your eyes, causing your mother to violently scream and tug at your hair.

“This is all your fault! I hope you rot in hell! Here, in this very room!” She pulled on your (h/c) strands with enough force to pull out the longer, looser strands. “You’ll disappear in this room! Just like God said you would!”

You tightened your fist and your body reacted unconsciously, ripping Akito’s hand away from Yuki as you stepped in between them. Your body snapped in reaction to the two words Akito mentioned. His eyes widened at your sudden objection, feeling betrayal and annoyance running through his body.

“That’s enough, Akito-san,” You grit your teeth, “stop it already.”

“Is something wrong (L/n)-san? I am merely talking to Yuki.” He asked, his smile still plastered on his face.

“He doesn’t want to talk right now, so. . . Drop it already.” Akito narrowed his eyes at you, this was not going as he expected, however, he was thoroughly enjoying the look in your eyes at this moment. The look of despair in your eyes giving him the same feeling of euphoria. 

“Sorry, I’m going to take Sohma-san to the nurse. He said he was feeling sick earlier,” you lied before looking at Tohru, “go back to the classroom Tohru-kun.” 

Your eyes were no longer the shade of (e/c) Tohru recognized. It was much colder, emotionless, and filled to the brim with hidden pain. They no longer held any semblance of humanity left in them, it was almost as dull as Yuki’s. She wondered how much suffering you endured to match the same intensity as Yuki.

You gave Akito one last glance before grabbing onto Yuki’s wrist and pulling him away from the scene.

“Yuki, I hope you have a fun school life here.” Akito called out, “it’d make me happy if you came to visit sometime soon.”

You only ignored his words and forcefully pull Yuki away. He let you freely drag his body towards the nearby secluded cherry blossom tree, his mind still not being able to rid itself of the painful memories that resurfaced as he remained unfocused of his surroundings. His eyes began to water as he tried to blink them away, trying desperately not to cry out in public. You gently pushed his body to lean against the tree, your form kneeling beside him as you slowly brushed back the strands of hair blocking his face.

You wondered what brought this feeling in your heart. There was something about the look in his eyes, your mind and heart screaming to reach out to him. They were pounding desperately against your door to rescue him from something you both wanted escape from. They wanted something you were destined to do.

Your hands were warm, Yuki thought. This was the first time you’ve shown an intimate gesture in front of him. Your body felt nicer against his skin than it was with Akito’s cold fingers, it was bringing him slowly back into reality as his eyes continued to fight against the growing tears. You were truly a warm person inside.

It was showing at this very moment almost as if the key had unlocked your doors.

You noticed the small droplets of tears on the corner of his eyes, his fists still tightly clenched together. He looked like a fragile animal, one which tugged at your own emotional strings. You reached out to wipe at them before standing up and pulling your sweater off of your body.

You placed the top of your sweater on his head, shielding him away from the rest of the world from his pitiful crying. You gripped the edge of your skirt, the fabric wrinkling underneath your fingers.

“I don’t know what your relationship is with them. . . I’m not the best at comforting other people either. . . But it’s okay,” You didn’t know if these were the right words to say, but you watched as he tightened his hold on your sweater, “It’ll be okay in the end.”

You gently patted the top of his head, the fabric of your sweater creating a barrier between your skin and the softness of his hair. He stayed silent, unresponsive to your words. Your heart yearned for freedom in the eyes of others. 

“That room. . . You won’t go back there anymore.” You spoke gently, almost like a whisper, his body beginning to release the pent up tears that flowed down his cheek but were masked by your clothing. “I promise you that. . .”

“I won’t let you go back there anymore.”

Those were simple words that expressed the feeling in your heart.

You figured out what you wanted and needed to do in your life. It was to play the role of the Eagle you desperately wanted to be, one to fulfill and shoulder the burden of those you swore to protect, even if it meant promising your loyalty to God.

There was no more fretting about what you needed.

[turtlycute]

do you have an anime watch list for beginners like the best animes of all time

Hello Nonny, thank you so much for your question. This is going to be a long post so get comfortable.

Like any anime lover, I have my own ideas of what some of the best animes for beginners might be. Unfortunatly, a lot of the "best of all time" type anime is not really the best for newer viewers. Like for so many others, my first animes were epic series like Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Sailor Moon and Inuyasha. These all hold special places in my heart and are all fun nostalgic or first watches.

The anime genres I tend to gravitate towards now are slice of life, comedy, drama, romance and shoujo with some sports, supernatural and mystery animes thrown in. So, keep that in mind as you read this list. If those are not your kinda things, then this is not the list for you. A lot of shows on this list are classics or highly popular in these genres. I've also choosen anime that comes in both English sub and dubbed versions because, for beginners, dubbed is sometimes easier to follow and enjoy. Subbed or dubbed, there is no judgment here as long as you are enjoying what you watch. Finally, I tried to stick to anime with mostly 1-3 seasons only. There is nothing wrong with the more epic long running series and many of these fall under "the best of all time" heading but seeing that an anime has 100+ episodes can be kinda daunting for a novice viewer. Now to the list...

First of all, if you are just wanting to try anime but, not wanting to commit to a whole series, I would recommend starting with a movie or two. Some classic films I would recommend would be Totoro, Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle from Studio Ghibli. Some more contemporary films like, Your Name, Weathering With You, A Silent Voice and Wolf Children, would also be great anime starting points. These films are staples for any anime collection.

Now, as for anime series, here is just a list of 10 that I think quality animes and would be great beginner watches.

Ouran High School Host Club:

Haruhi Fujioka is a scholarship student at the elite Ouran High School. One day, Haruhi becomes accidentally indebted to the school host club. Now she must work off her debt by playing the role of a male host to the female student clientele. Hilarity ensues.

This reverse harem show is a much loved modern classic for a reason. It's full of fun characters and lighthearted comedy moments with just enough drama and romance to keep you coming back for more.

Maid Sama:

Misaki Ayuzawathe is the first female student council president for a previously all boys school. Now, her life is busy with maintaining top grades, keeping the male students in line, recruiting more girls to the school and keeping her part-time job at a maid cafe a secret. When one day Takumi Usui, the most popular boy in school, discovers her secret job, Misaki finds herself doing everything she can to keep him from revealing the truth to the whole school.

This shoujo has enough of comedy, romance and drama to satisfy anyone's appetite.

Fruits Basket:

After finding herself orphaned and homeless, high schooler Tohru Honda makes a new home with classmates Yuki and Kyo Sohma along with there guardian Shigure Sohma. But the Sohma's have a dark secret, they are under a curse that causes them to change into animals from the Chinese zodiac when hugged by members of the opposite sex. Now, Tohru must keep their secret as she learns more about this family and their curse.

There are actually 2 different versions of this show. Many people would recommend that you start with the completed classic 2001 version but, I'm going to say it's okay to skip that for later and dive into the 2019 reboot and ongoing series. The newer series is so beautifully animated and has a more detailed version of the story than its predecessor. This shoujo is full of drama, comedy, romance, supernatural mysteries and inspirational moments. You'll definitely need a kleenex box when watch this one.

Kamisama Kiss:

One day high school student Nanami Momozono finds herself abandoned by her father, penniless and homeless. After she saves a mysterious man in the park, he offers to help her by giving his home to her. She soon discovers that this gift home is really a rundown shrine and she has magically become local land god. Now, she must learn to juggle her school life and her new position as a land god. Luckily for her, a reluctant fox familiar named Tomoe comes with the shine and has to give her assistance with it all.

This classic is part shoujo comedy and part supernatural adventure. I definitely recommend this in the English dub if for no other reason than to enjoy J. Michael Tatum's voice work as Tomoe.

The Morose Mononokean:

Hanae Ashiya spends his first week of high school with a mystery illness that has left him feeling increasingly weak. He eventually discovers that the cause of his illness is a large fluffy creature that has attached itself to his back. When Hanae comes across a flyer advertising an exorcist who expels youkai, he decides that exorcism might be just the thing to remove the creature. The flyer leads him to the Mononokean and a magical tea room which suddenly appears. The Mononokean turns out to be a fellow classmate, Haruitsuki Abeno, who reluctantly helps Hanae but, demands that Hanae work as his assistant to repay him for the exorcism. Now, Hanae spends his free time working to learn about yokai spirits and how to best help the yokai that live in the mundane world.

This supernatural comedy is just fun to watch, with enough drama to keep you interested. It really has that classic Saturday morning anime adventure feel but, for a slightly older audience.

The Devil is a Part-Timer:

Just as Demon Lord Satan, a.k.a the Devil has nearly conquered the world of Ente Isla and destroyed his enemies, a hero named Emilia corners him and forces him and his top general to escape through a portal to modern day Earth. Emilia, of course, follows him determined to finally defeat the Devil. But now they all find themselves on Earth with no powers, they must discover how to survive even if that means the Devil must get a part-time job at Mc Ronald's just to pay the rent.

What can I say about this show... It starts out with an almost stereotypical supernatural action/adventure anime feel only to turn into a comedic slice of life with a little romance and the ocational fight sequence thrown in. This show is one of the best examples of how versatile anime can be and a great way to get a little taste of a lot of genres.

Death Note:

High school student Light Yagami stumbles upon a supernatural notebook that allows its owner to kill by simply writing someone's name down. Light soon sees the death notebook as a way to reform society's ills by killing criminals and undesirables to create world without crime. Once the police discover that a mysterious serial killer is targeting criminals, they bring in the worlds greatest detective, L, to find and capture this serial killer. This begins a epic battle of witts between Light and L.

This classic anime is a lot darker than anything else on the list but, it's definitely worth mentioning. It was one of the earlier animes I watched and I'm still a fan to this day. It falls mostly into the categories of thriller, supernatural, mystery, horror and crime drama. It is also another one that I'd strongly recommend the English dub over the subbed version. So, if you want to take little walk on the anime dark side, this is a good place to start.

Yuri On Ice:

After a disastrous performance and coming in last place at the Grand Prix, ice skater Yuri Katsuki is thinking about retiring. That is until his skating idol and living legend Victor Nikiforov shows up to his home offering to be his coach. Now, with Victor's help Yuri works to rebuild his career and fight his way to a gold medal at the Grand Prix Final.

Yuri On Ice is my all time favorite anime so, of course it's going to make the list. So much about the struggles and perseverance of the characters in this sports anime is inspiring. Then, when you add in a little romance, flashy skating routines to a great original soundtrack and the drama of competition, everything about this show gets a gold medal.

Free!-Iwatobi Swim Club:

Haruka Nanase has always had a strong connection to the water and a passion for swimming. As he starts high school, Haruka is reunited with childhood friends from a youth swim team, Nagisa Hazuki and Makoto Tachibana. The three decide to start a school swim team. Now, they must recruit a fourth member and train to be able compete in their first swim meet. Watch to see these guys bond as a team and friends and as they pursue their goal to compete at Nationals.

There are a lot of great sports anime out there but, this one is a good one to start with. Free! exemplifies so many standard tropes within this genre and does in an engaging way with an easy to understand sport. There are multiple seasons and movies for this series but, the first season, Free! -Iwatobi Swim Club, is satisfying enough as a stand alone.

My Roommate is a Cat:

Subaru Mikazuki, an introvert writer with social anxiety, adopts a stray cat after a chance encounter. Together they both learn they are not as alone as each of them believed.

This slice of life anime is sooooo relatable, cute and funny. If you're looking for something that's low key and will make you feel all warm inside, than this is the show you should start with.

Here are some honorable mention animes to also consider: Toradora, ReLife, Princess Jellyfish (I just love this show and think everyone should watch it), Black Butler (if you're willing to sort out the correct viewing order it can be worth it), the classic Avatar: The Last Airbender (yeah, yeah, yeah is it anime or isn't, doesn't matter it's a great gateway) and Kakuriyo- Bed and Breakfast for Spirits

So here are some of my top favorite anime for beginners recommendations. A nice mix of classic standards and a few newer shows that really show off specific genres. These are just my opinions, I'm sure there are many other animes that should probably make this list. As always, if anyone wants to add to this list or make some different suggestions please feel welcome to add your own favorites in the comments or as a reblog. Thank you Nonny for the ask and I hope you find this list helpful.

[loversdelusions]

hi!! can i request a matchup for someone in bnha?

i’m bi and go by she/they. my mbti type is INTJ and my zodiac is virgo. im free spirited and stubborn. i don’t hold my opinion hidden and get very blunt to the point I seem insulting to some and don't really have a filter. i am hardworking and want to do my best in studies, but i tend to procrastinate as well. i am a tad hyperactive, optimistic and like to have fun and party. i’m the youngest in my friend group and shortest and you can half of the time tell, that i am. i also take things seriously and get told i'm very mature for my age.

my ideal relationship is someone that matches my energy and understands my boundaries when i have my bad days. i see myself with someone spontaneous and affectionate who likes unique date ideas like a picnic under the stars or a driving for a roadtrip. my fashion sense is 70s inspired mixed in some dark academia and cottage core. i like to workout, dancing, music, games, horror movies, art and animals.

have a good day ❄️☃️

Okay 100% your match is Mina Ashidou!

She’s absolutely floored by you, your attitude and hardworking stubborn, and blunt nature makes her heart race when she thinks of you. She’ll take herself as your lovely pink filter, and will nudge you softly and giggle at your words, even if they may seem blunt. She finds your blunt opinions entertaining and so very cute especially if you’re insulting someone she doesn't like.

She’s a procrastinator too but she’s also a natural cheerleader. So she’ll cheer you on as she procrastinates next to you. She’ll softly encourage you while you sit together and watch you study, actually questioning your work ethic, she’ll love it if you lean to her, and start procrastinating alongside her. She’ll laugh and snuggle up to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and laying on your lap. Lazily telling you to ‘focus,’ while keeping a soft smile on her lips.

She has no problem matching your energy, she’s ready to bust out her party pumps and find a party that would shake the walls with the music. Getting anytype of party drugs is quick and easy for her, and would love to get a little high during the party. Though sipping on Piña Coladas in her spare time is it’s own type of party for her. When she finds that you’re working too hard she’ll fix you a drink and whine and pull you to your feet to dance with her.

“Come on! Feel the music in your hips…”

One thing she can do right is set a mood. And her party moods are fucking amazing.

She is a bit immature when it comes to her own time, because she must be so mature when it comes to her hero work. She’s very free spirited and loves to make an adventure, get her heart racing with adrenaline and experience amazing things. There won't be a dull moment with her. Taking you places that would blow your mind is one of her favourite things, the shine in your eyes and excitement that light up your face is worth all of the trouble that she goes through to find the little hidden gems around the city.

With her, you’ll see things you’d never even thought even existed outside of fiction.

Her golden eyes and fluffy curls followed by her smooth voice and sultry moves will make you melt on top of her vehicle while she sweet talks you over the scenic view.

Mina is a fashion icon, so her aesthetics will change with yours. She believes she looks amazing in 70’s fashion and early 2000’s scene fashion. She would die to dress up in dark academia and pretend that you’d pick her up while she wears a sweetheart sundress with a fancy tea hat. Yes, she goes a bit hard but she loves just how contrasting the colours of your outfits would look. She loves coordinating outfits with you and trying out new fashions you might be into.

Mina hides near the closest warmth she finds when she’s scared. While horror movies aren't her most favourite because she frights easy, she still thinks it's worth it when she grabs your arm and hides behind you, snuggling up into your side and jumping at every single squeak.

She is so unmotivated when it comes to her workout, especially since her routine must stay consistent now that she’s a hero. So you working out would encourage her, and you might have to promise her some rewards to push her to workout. Not that she needs encouragement as working out with you provides a great company and view for her.

Yes, that's gin in her water bottle. No, don't ask her about it. She really doesn't want to work out on sundays…

Okay ya'll. Since I've been getting a lot pf match up requests, I'mma set some rules. Check it out in bio soon.

[astrology-india]

Venus In Capricorn Man - What a Woman Needs To Know

New Post has been published on https://www.astrology-india.com/venus-in-capricorn-man/

Venus In Capricorn Man - What a Woman Needs To Know

The hardworking, sturdy Venus in Capricorn man will put in the extra hours it takes to make you his long-term partner. As long as he feels the prize is worth winning!

The male of this zodiac sign is driven and ambitious, some may say he is stubborn. Either way, you look at it, it is undeniable that he has his head on straight.

He is a professional and charms his lover by maintaining a cool and grounded persona.

It is his restraint and aura of togetherness that sweeps people off their feet, but is he a good match for just anyone?

Venus In Capricorn Man Key Features

Positive Characteristics

A Venus in Capricorn man is generally loyal, driven, hardworking, decisive, smart, and full of ambition.

Negatives Traits

The dark aspects of Capricorn can make him stubborn and selfish. There is a tendency for him to roll over others on the way to his focused goals.

Also, the male with this zodiac sign is prone to being resentful and can be overly critical when trying to win an argument.

Venus In Capricorn Man Ideal Partner

His ideal partner is usually mature, goal-oriented, reserved, classy, and intelligent. He needs someone who will be in it for the long run, through thick and thin.

Needs To Work On

The Capricorn in Venus man needs to work on self-care.

He can be introverted and reflective by nature, yet he goes full throttle towards his goals, and this could lead to burnout.

He must learn to understand that it is OK not to do anything, once in a while, and just relax.

Venus In Capricorn Man Personality

The Venus in Capricorn man tends to know exactly where he is going. He is equipped with a God-gifted internal GPS that will get him there one way or another. It does not matter how long it takes this man to reach his goals.

The dependable Capricorn goat has the will and the discipline to see things through to the very end, even if his goals are long-term and years in the making.

This man does not understand the meaning of the word “no”. Success is of the utmost importance to him. This extends beyond his career and reaches into his friends, family, and his love life as well.

The male with his Venus in Capricorn finds security in these areas and his accomplishments in them, his life takes on a sense of stability when he is happily in love.

The Earth Sign Of Capricorn

Capricorn is an earth sign, and like the earth, the male is grounded. Although he may have many goals in life they generally fit into an achievable time scale.

The Venus in Capricorn man can be a bit reserved, usually well-mannered, and is likely to follow social norms to a T.

The Capricorn man is known to enjoy structure and is usually a fan of following the rules. Some feel they need to break the rules to get ahead, but not this man.

The Venus in Capricorn male tends to have the remarkable ability to not just understand the rules but to use them to his advantage which helps him to get ahead every time.

This zodiac sign for a male is cool, calm, collected more often than not. He uses his restraint to impress others, especially the person his heart admires.

It is his chilled, laidback manner and his long list of accomplishments that he uses to turn them on. He is rarely overly emotional or extroverted, he tends to keep his emotions in check.

It should be said, however, the Venus in Capricorn man is prone to being judgemental.

He can be critical of others when not living up to his standards and he can be just as hard on himself for the same reason.

Positive Traits

Ambitious

Intelligent

Decisive

Committed

Refined

Restrained

Grounded

Negative Traits

Stubborn

Selfish

Resentful

Hard On Himself

Can Become Depressed

What Attracts a Venus In Capricorn Man?

The Venus in Capricorn man knows what he wants but he also knows the reasons why he wants it.

Some say the Capricorn Venusian man is picky, but he seems to understand himself well enough to know what a good fit is and what is not as far as his relationships are concerned.

He has a particular temperament, and it is important that his partner can match it.

The Capricorn man prefers his lovers to be mature, grounded, and somewhat serious in their demeanor.

He is not one for childish head games, and what attracts this man is somebody who knows who they are and is clear on what they want.

For this reason, men with this Venus aspect can have tendencies to get involved with partners who are older than them.

Capricorn is represented by the goat which is also an independent and strong-willed animal. A potential partner would benefit from similar characteristics, however, neediness in a woman may only repel him.

He is attracted to people who project a quiet sense of self-assurance. He is not a fan of the aggressive, impulsive, or dramatic type of person.

As the businessman of the zodiac, the Venus in Capricorn man is an investor of money, time, and also in his relationships.

Naturally, he is looking for a mate who will invest back into him; someone who will be there for the long haul.

Showing your loyalty to the Venus in Capricorn man is key, and in return, you will land yourself one of the most faithful men of the zodiac.

Most Compatible With a Venus In Capricorn Man

The Venus in Capricorn man is a good match for water and earth-sun signs because they are generally committed to their relationships.

These signs are sensitive, and able to form strong emotional and intellectual bonds with the Capricorn.

He is most compatible with Venus in Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo who are all logical, goal-oriented, and committed in terms of love. He also connects well with Venus in Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.

Of course, this is just a generalization. To be clear on who is the most compatible with the Venus in Capricorn man, looking at your full natal chart is recommended.

Final Thoughts

Capricorn is symbolized by the mountain goat for its strong-willed and independent nature. The Venus in Capricorn man will not be swayed from his heart’s desires.

While he comes across as a grounded and collected individual, on the inside he is nothing like meek. He tends to know just what he wants and is capable of heading straight for it.

If you can show that you are smart and have your act together, that you are strong and independent as well, the Venus in Capricorn man will take notice.

If you show your loyalty to him and signal that you are in it for the long run, congratulations, you may have just landed yourself a quality partner for life.

An Important Message About a Venus In Capricorn Man

Do you dream of experiencing the fantastic emotional connection with your Venus in Capricorn man that only true love can bring? Secure in the knowledge you are the only woman in his life?

If so, please read on as the next few paragraphs contain vital information that can bring your dream to reality.

To achieve the perfect relationship with Venus in Capricorn man, you need to understand how he thinks and acts in romantic situations.

Someone who has studied these traits and characteristics is relationship expert Anna Kovach who has written a book entitled Capricorn Man Secrets.

Decide for yourself, if this is the key to your future happiness with the man of your dreams, by taking a peek preview.

[dinaxoxo]

I love you early in the morning and it’s difficult to love you. I love the January sky and knowing it will change although unlike us. I love watching people read. I love photo booths. I love midnight. I love writing letters and this is my letter. To the world that never wrote to me. I love snow and briefly. I love the first minutes in a warm room after stepping out of the cold. I love my twenties and want them back every day. I love time. I love people. I love people and my time away from them the most. I love the part of my desk that’s darkened by my elbows. I love feeling nothing but relief during the chorus of a song. I love space. I love every planet. I love the big unknowns but need to know who called or wrote, who’s coming—if they want the same things I do, if they want much less. I love not loving Valentine’s Day. I love how February is the shortest month. I love that Barack Obama was president. I love the quick, charged time between two people smoking a cigarette outside a bar. I love everyone on Friday night. I love New York City. I love New York City a lot. I love that day in childhood when I thought I was someone else. I love wondering how animals perceive our daily failures. I love the lines in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when Brick’s father says “Life is important. There’s nothing else to hold onto.” I love Brick. I love that we can fail at love and continue to live. I love writing this and not knowing what I’ll love next. I love looking at paintings and being reminded I am alive. I love Turner’s paintings and the sublime. I love the coming of spring even in the most withholding March. I love skipping anything casual—“hi, how are you, it’s been forever”—and getting straight to the center of pain. Or happiness. I love opening a window in a room. I love the feeling of possibility by the end of the first cup of coffee. I love hearing anyone listen to Nina Simone. I love Nina Simone. I love how we can choose our own families. I love when no one knows where I am but feel terrified to be forgotten. I love Saturdays. I love that despite our mistakes this will end. I love how people get on planes to New York and California. I love the hour after rain and the beginning of the cruelest month. I love imagining Weldon Kees on a secret island. I love the beach on a cloudy day. I love never being disappointed by chocolate. I love that morning when I was twenty and had just met someone very important (though I didn’t know it) and I walked down an almost empty State Street because it was still early and not at all late—and of course I could change everything (though I also didn’t know it)—I could find anyone, go anywhere, I wasn’t sorry for who I was. I love the impulse to change. I love seeing what we do with what we can’t change. I love the moon’s independent indifference. I love walking the same streets as Warhol. I love what losing something does but I don’t love losing it. I love how the past shifts when there’s more. I love kissing. I love hailing a cab and going home alone. I love being surprised by May although it happens every year. I love closing down anything—a bar, restaurant, party—and that time between late night and dawn when one lamp goes on wherever you are and you know. You know what you know even if it’s hard to know it. I love being a poet. I love all poets. I love Jim Morrison for saying, “I’d like to do a song or a piece of music that’s just a pure expression of joy, like a celebration of existence, like the coming of spring or the sun rising, just pure unbounded joy. I don’t think we’ve really done that yet.” I love everything I haven’t done. I love looking at someone without need or panic. I love the quiet of the trees in a new city. I love how the sky is connected to a part of us that understands something big and knows nothing about it too. I love the minutes before you’re about to see someone you love. I love any film that delays resolution. I love being in a cemetery because judgment can’t live there. I love being on a highway in June or anytime at all. I love magic. I love the zodiac. I love all of my past lives. I love that hour of the party when everyone’s settled into their discomfort and someone tells you something really important—in passing—because it’s too painful any other way. I love the last moments before sleep. I love the promise of summer. I love going to the theater and seeing who we are. I love glamour—shamelessly—and all glamour. Which is not needed to live but shows people love life. What else is it there for? Why not ask for more? I love red shoes. I love black leather. I love the grotesque ways in which people eat ice cream—on sidewalks, alone—however they need it, whenever they feel free enough. I love being in the middle of a novel. I love how mostly everyone in Jane Austen is looking for love. I love July and its slowness. I love the idea of liberation and think about it all the time. I love imagining a world without money. I love imagining a life with enough money to write when I want. I love standing in front of the ocean. I love that sooner or later we forget even “the important things.” I love how people write in the sand, on buildings, on paper. Their own bodies. Fogged mirrors. Texts they’ll draft but never send. I love silence. I love owning a velvet cape and not knowing how to cook. I love that instant when an arc of light passes through a room and I’m reminded that everything really is moving. I love August and its sadness. I love Sunday for that too. I love jumping in a pool and how somewhere on the way up your body relaxes and accepts the shock of the water. I love Paris for being Paris. I love Godard’s films. I love anyplace that makes room for loneliness. I love how the Universe is 95% dark matter and energy and somewhere in the rest of it there is us. I love bookstores and the autonomy when I’m in one. I love that despite my distrust in politics I am able to vote. I love wherever my friends are. I love voting though know art and not power is what changes human character. I love what seems to me the discerning indifference of cats. I love the often uncomplicated joy of dogs. I love Robert Lax for living alone. I love the extra glass of wine happening somewhere, right now. I love schools and teachers. I love September and how we see it as a way to begin. I love knowledge. Even the fatal kind. Even the one without “use value.” I love getting dressed more than getting undressed. I love mystery. I love lighting candles. I love religious spaces though I’m sometimes lost there. I love the sun for worshipping no one. I love the sun for showing up every day. I love the felt order after a morning of errands. I love walking toward nowhere in particular and the short-lived chance of finding something new. I love people who smile only when moved to. I love that a day on Venus lasts longer than a year. I love Whitman for writing, “the fever of doubtful news, the fitful events; / These come to me days and nights and go from me again, / But they are not the Me myself.” I love October when the veil between worlds is thinnest. I love how at any moment I could forgive someone from the past. I love the wind and how we never see it. I love the performed sincerity in pornography and wonder if its embarrassing transparency is worth adopting in other parts of life. I love how magnified emotions are at airports. I love dreams. Conscious and unconscious. Lived and not yet. I love anyone who risks their life for their ideal one. I love Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. I love how people make art even in times of impossible pain. I love all animals. I love ghosts. I love that we continue to invent meaning. I love the blue hours between three and five when Plath wrote Ariel. I love that despite having one body there are many ways to live. I love November because I was born there. I love people who teach children that most holidays are a product of capitalism and have little to do with love—which would never celebrate massacre—which would never care about money or greed. I love people who’ve quit their jobs to be artists. I love you for reading this as opposed to anything else. I love the nostalgia of the future. I love that the tallest mountain in our solar system is safe and on Mars. I love dancing. I love being in love with the wrong people.                                                                                                               I love that on November 23, 1920, Virginia Woolf wrote, “We have bitten off a large piece of life—but why not? Did I not make out a philosophy some time ago which comes to this—that one must always be on the move?” I love how athletes believe in the body and know it will fail them. I love dessert for breakfast. I love all of the dead. I love gardens. I love holding my breath under water. I love whoever it is untying our shoes. I love that December is summer in Australia. I love statues in a downpour. I love how no matter where on the island, at any hour, there’s at least one lit square at the top or bottom of a building in Manhattan. I love diners. I love that the stars can’t be touched. I love getting in a car and turning the keys just to hear music. I love ritual. I love chance too. I love people who have quietly survived being misunderstood yet remain kids. And yes, I love that Marilyn Monroe requested Judy Garland’s “Over the Rainbow” to be played at her funeral. And her casket was lined in champagne satin. And Lee Strasberg ended his eulogy by saying, “I cannot say goodbye. Marilyn never liked goodbyes, but in the peculiar way she had of turning things around so that they faced reality, I will say au revoir.” I love the different ways we have of saying the same thing. I love anyone who cannot say goodbye

Alex Dimitrov “Love”

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 2nd Season Ep10: “Who . . . Are You?”

With this, we’ve more or less hit the halfway mark of the story, with the stage being set for the direction of everything to come in the second half, and this episode was appropriately dramatic and intense to go with that.

Thoughts under the cut.

To start with, this episode adapted chapters 64 and 65 pretty much 1:1, since it’s all that was left for the beach arc, but surprisingly the next episode sounds like it’ll include chapter 68, so they’re jumping forward a little. From what I’ve heard, I think they might be adapting chapters 67 and 68 together, and moving 66 to afterward, which I think makes a lot of sense. Chapter 67 specifically is pretty much a direct follow-up to the beach arc, and chapter 66 is a bit of a swerve into comedy territory and character introductions which would probably disrupt the flow of things a bit too much.

I’m also still curious to see when they plan on getting around to adapting the Hatori/Mayu chapters. At this point I think they’re probably going to get adapted right before the student teacher conference, since a lot of that stuff wouldn’t really make sense without that context. I think that part happens around chapter 71 or so in the manga, so the Hatori/Mayu stuff might get adapted pretty soon in that case.

Anyway, as for this episode itself, it was adapted pretty much perfectly. I don’t think anything was cut or added or changed from the manga, and the cinematography, music, and colour design made everything hit really hard.

One way or another this is the big part in the story that all the anime-only fans have been told for ages would answer their big questions about why everyone follows Akito, and I wonder exactly how all the anime-only fans think about it now. I think the explanation of Akito being ‘the God of the zodiac’ is probably enough to satisfy most people, but it’s still a pretty vague and nebulous sort of label, and there’s still mysteries left hanging about the nature of the curse as a whole.

I still think that, if we’re just talking about the question of ‘why does everyone do what Akito says?’, this doesn’t even really change much of anything, since it’s always been pretty obvious that Akito’s mostly just an abuser at the end of the day, and her being the zodiac God is mostly just a fancy way of putting it. But if it makes people feel less frustrated by the writing, then that’s cool.

I must have forgotten this specific part from the manga, but I really liked the bit with Tohru hinting at the fact that Akito is also bound by the curse, since that’s a pretty major part of the long-term story. I’m kinda surprised they hint at it this early in the story, but honestly I think most anime-only fans probably didn’t notice that line with everything else that was going on, lol.

The scene with her and Shigure also set up all sorts of hints for later in the story in it’s own way, and after double checking I can confirm that the short flashback to Shigure giving her a flower was actually anime-original. I dunno how many people will pick up on it this early, but there’s already lots of hints to how frustrated and isolated Akito is in her own position in the family.

[Also I’ve harped on about this before but seeing this be another example of anime-only fans being like ‘wow Akito keeps having these romantically charged scenes with other dudes. Is he actually a guy???’ has me screaming into my pillow, lmao. I’d love to tell these people that they shouldn’t assume things like that, but I can’t really say that when they’re, y’know . . . . entirely correct in their assumptions]

And as yet another hint at future developments, we also get another reference to Ren, and an even more blunt look into just how messy that whole situation is, and how much it messes with Akito.

Akito also pretty much spells out her entire motivation and goal to Tohru, about how she wants everyone to stay with her forever in a static and unchanging bond until they all die, which is an idea that’s gonna get explored and delved into as time goes on. The whole struggle between wanting everything to stay in a comfortable stasis versus making efforts to change yourself and cut yourself away from unhealthy ties is pretty much one of the core conflicts in the story, and I think it’s a big part of why Tohru ends up being so sympathetic to Akito. And to be honest I also can’t really help but sympathize with Akito in this respect, even if basically all of her actions are obviously wrong.

To go along with how this is the big turning point of the whole story, Tohru now knows pretty much everything the audience knows about the curse, and about Kyo’s imminent confinement, and it’s pushed her to start actively wanting to break the curse. This episode in general really makes it clear why she’s such a necessary force in the story, and why only someone who exists outside of the Soma family structure can actually make meaningful change to the system. Since pretty much all the zodiac members are understandably complacent and resigned to their fates, and even someone like Rin is caught up in the mindset of not wanting ‘outsiders’ to get involved in the curse. Even Shigure is only able to put his own plans into place by bringing an outside into the system.

In general the beach arc as a whole is filled with examples showing how much everyone is held back by the curse, but it’s worth noting that in this episode we get to see Momiji take a stand against Akito in an attempt to protect Tohru. And we also see him get punched in the face for it, just to really hammer in why it’s so hard for anyone to do anything like that in the first place.

So anyway that’s pretty much everything I have to say. This was a really great way to more or less wrap up the first half of the story and set up the second half. Now I’m curious to see how the next couple of episodes go, since it looks like they’re probably gonna shuffle things around a bit, which will hopefully make the pacing better.

[metalandmagi]

Hogwarts Houses Anime Recommendations pt 2! Hufflepuff

A couple years ago, I made some posts with anime recommendations based on Hogwarts houses. And in case you haven’t noticed, there’s been a lot of new anime that’s come out in that time, and I’ve thought of some other things that I think people may have missed. And I was bored…So if you have ever wanted some anime recommendations with the same general themes and tones, maybe you’ll find something here.

In case you missed the first Hogwarts house recs:

Hufflepuff

Ravenclaw

Ravenclaw pt 2

Slytherin

Slytherin pt 2

Gryffindor

Gryffindor pt 2

Once again, I’m starting with HUFFLEPUFF, the house that embodies loyalty, dedication, hard work, patience and values friendship and inclusiveness above all else!

Tsuritama: When a boy with severe anxiety named Yuki moves to the island of Enoshima, he meets Haru, a bubbly alien who takes it upon himself to bring Yuki along on an otherworldly mission to rescue another alien…...by teaching him how to fish. It’s an incredibly funny found family anime with a plethora of unique characters, fishing, aliens, and a startlingly realistic look at anxiety. If you like things like Sarazanmai...but that make sense...this is the anime for you.

Tsuritama is one of the greatest examples of Hufflepuff style dedication and loyalty to your friends I’ve ever seen, and it’s just so sweet and hilarious that I keep coming back to re-watch it even all these years later. Honestly, this is one of my most favorite underrated shows of all time, and it’s a great watch for any Hufflepuff who wants something light but meaningful. Not to mention, it’s the epitome of a fun summer anime! 

A Place Further Than the Universe (Sora yori mo Tooi Basho): A group of four high school girls take on the seemingly impossible mission of traveling to Antarctica. That’s it, that’s the plot. It’s realistic, heartwarming, inspiring, hilarious, and devastating all at once. Each girl is so inspiring and charming while also being achingly realistic in different ways.

This was by far my favorite anime of 2018, and it’s an anime I think everyone should watch at some point in their life, especially if you are feeling down on yourself. This is the ultimate anime that proves anyone, yes even you, can accomplish something great through hard work, dedication, and a little help from your friends. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will blow your mind. Honestly, this show makes me wish I was a Hufflepuff, just so I could say I was more like the main character, because she’s the one of the best examples of a dedicated, earnest Hufflepuff out there.  

Iroduku-The World in Colors (Irozuku Sekai no Ashita Kara): Despite being descended from a family of witches, Hitomi Tsukishiro has not been able to see colors since she was a child. To rectify this, her grandmother Kohaku sends Hitomi back in time 60 years to 2018, when Kohaku was in school. High school adventures ensue while Hitomi makes friends and tries to come to terms with her magic along the way. At its core, it’s a story about art, romance, family, and coming to terms with yourself…kind of like a teenage drama version of Kiki’s Delivery Service.

Okay, this a really bizarre description, but it’s made by PA Works if that tells you anything about the emotional journey this show will force you to go on. Not only does it have some of the best animation from 2018, but it also has a great slice of life high school friendship story mixed with the perfect amount of urban fantasy to give its own unique atmosphere. I’d make the case that every character (aside from Kohaku) is a hard core Hufflepuff in their own way. Hitomi is quiet and dedicated without being an annoying protagonist, and her friends are all fun and supportive who are willing to ride or die with anything.

Carole and Tuesday: Did you think I’d make a list about shows with Hufflepuff core values and NOT include Carole and Tuesday? In case you’ve been living under a rock all year, this is a science fiction music anime about a rich runaway named Tuesday who meets a streetwise girl named Carole and immediately hit it off and start a band (and they’re super gay for each other). Together they work to find success in the AI dominated music industry….and also the whole thing takes place on Mars because it’s made by Shinichiro Watanabe (yes, the Cowboy Bebop guy).  

This anime hasn’t even finished airing yet, and it’s already one of the best shows of 2019. Both Carole and Tuesday are such Hufflepuffs it hurts. They care more about making music with each other and expressing their feelings in a fun way than clawing their way to the top. They work hard and are so loyal to their found family it makes me wish they were real people. Not to mention, both the animation and music in this anime are top notch. This show is the culmination of all things Hufflepuff all in one super creative package.

Fruits Basket: Okay, when I say Fruits Basket, I’m really talking about the 2019 version that’s actually following the manga, but a lot of what I’m saying applies to the original anime as well…it’s just not as good. That’s right, I said it. So, buckle up, because this one’s important.

For any younger anime fans out there who maybe haven’t been around since 2001, this is a slice of life show about a girl named Tooru Honda who has been living in a tent since the death of her mother, and eventually she’s taken in by the mysterious Sohma family who all harbor a dark secret…they can turn into animals from the zodiac when they’re hugged by someone of the opposite sex.

Hufflepuff is the most inclusive house there is, so I could write a thousand-page essay about why this show (and manga) is so amazing and what makes it a must watch for every single human being on Earth, anime fan or not. I don’t care what gender you are. I don’t care if you think “eh shoujo just isn’t for me.” I don’t care if you think you’re too cool for the purest, most wholesome show on the planet, you still need to watch it because everyone needs to learn to love themselves dang it!

I watched the original anime when I was just starting high school, and I liked it in general, but Tooru was kind of…a really irritating protagonist, and a lot of the messages it was trying to give just didn’t get through to me. As a young person, I just didn’t get why this show was so significant and formative for so many people. But now, as an adult with this remake, I can say that Fruits Basket and its core message is so ridiculously important that I can’t even describe it accurately. Yes, Tooru is a major Hufflepuff with her good-natured optimism and friendly hard-working personality. But it is so much more than a girl getting over her mother’s death with the help of a bizarre family. This is a show about love in every form imaginable. It’s about finding a reason to keep living even things are unimaginably difficult. It’s about how learning to love yourself as well as understanding that everyone is going through something, even the bad guys. Honestly though, this show (and more accurately the manga) is something I’d highly recommend to people thinking about suicide or going through severe depression, because it’s not exactly a light “forget about your problems” type of show. It’s more like…Dear Evan Hansen in that it addresses really difficult topics in a funny, clever way and you will feel like you’re worth something after seeing a few episodes. Anyway, please fucking watch Fruits Basket.

[psychoticparadox]

Introduction

So here we go again... I can’t even begin to guess how many times I’ve tried to be consistent with my blogging, but here goes another attempt.

As I go through life, I witness changes in myself & my environment as a whole.. Experiences build me and mold me, etc. Hopefully I am evolving throughout this process, but life is a roller coaster and I’m somehow still hanging on.

So, let’s get into this introduction a bit more with an ABOUT ME, shall we?

I think a proper greeting is due, so....

HELLO THERE! *waves*

My name is Angel. I am a shy introvert that over-analyzes every damn thing. Its both a nightmare and some cases enjoyable; depending who appreciates it and/or encourages it...if that makes sense. Some people admire my deep over-analyzing to details and therefore it energizes me and makes life as a whole FUCKING AMAZING...and simply put; WORTH LIVING. I literally crave this and thrive on this. This is my drive and simply put; keeps my crazy ass going.

Others will throw up road blocks that cause me to literally CRASH... I just shut down and become isolated, too afraid to share my most inner desires, dreams, identity, etc. When I shut down, I literally go into psychosis and helplessly drown in my own head. Often times, I contemplate suicide, as I feel so lost and engulfed in darkness... surrounded by loneliness and severe depression/anxiety. My self worth is fucked during those moments as my drive is deprived from my surroundings. 

I am a Cancer Crab Zodiac, but was suppose to be born as a Gemini. My mother was pregnant with me for 10 months vs the “normal” 9 months. So I tend to take on both zodiac characteristics which makes shit even more fucking complicating. 

I went to college for (too fucking long) for Psychology, Nursing, Law, and Arts. My passion seems to mostly be future based as a whole with whatever my surroundings may be. This means I may be adaptable, but also skip around like an ADD fucktard. 

Which brings me to my next “about me”; I studied Psychology due to my vast diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with the following..... *clears throat*.... oh wait, I’m typing....so um..... *cracks knuckles*....... 

Schizophrenia, Bipolar 1, ADD, BPD, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, Narcolepsy, Cataplexy, OCD, Epilepsy, CPTSD, Aspergers, Legally Blind, Dyslexia ...the list just keeps going.... 

By now, I’m sure you’re thinking... “HOLY FUCK THIS CHICK IS NUTS”..... yes, yes I am, but it also helps me see the world so different at the same time, and helps me be more understanding. If I could explain it in a lump-sum, it helps me see the world in different shades of colors others may not see. I see many are misunderstood and therefore went into Psychology to help anyone else through their battles. I had to face most of my battles alone, in silence, and don’t want anyone else to feel how I did; alone. Its one of the worst fucking feelings there is, and I thrive in helping others problem solve, plan for the future, come up with a game plan, etc. I find the human mind so fascinating and just can’t help but gravitate to increasing my knowledge of it. Even though I already have my Doctorate's in Psychology, I still can’t get enough of the mechanics of how we operate as a whole, as no one person, no one illness, is the same. And I find that amazing. I am thinking of going back to school to get my PhD in NeuroPsychology, as this is only a few more years and will educate me further. This will allow me to study brain scans in a Psychologist way. Fucking neat right? Naw? Eh,,,,I’m odd. *grins*

People often think that because I am an INTJ (Introvert Intuition Thinking Judging) personality, that I lack feelings and emotions, when its completely the opposite. I am an empath and my crazy mind throws that into my own mess of more shit for me to over-analyze as well, so I tend to show my emotions in silent, or with those closest to me I trust. Around the “right people”, I am quite driven, nurturing, loving, protective, loyal, outgoing, etc. I realize I may come off as arrogant, and even seem to have narcissistic behaviors, due to being so shy and my illnesses, and severe CPTSD. I am usually pretty reserved at first, and mostly observe others and listen. Once I know how they ‘tick’, I then will open up pieces of myself I feel may be appropriate/acceptable. I try to give others inspiration and drive. If I feel a part of me will do them no good, I keep that piece of myself quiet. Sometimes its unavoidable and my moods/actions are uncontrollable, and I try to be as communicative about my situation as I can, but most of the time I am at war in my own head and can’t even communicate to my own damn self, so its even harder to push that communication to others during those times....then BOOM.....domino effect. They feel worse as well as me. So overall, I try to only talk if whatever I have to say will be of aid, not to just “fill the silence”. My head is so loud as it is, so it does make it harder to push through my own internal noise as well. 

As humans, we are our own worst critics it seems. This can be both beneficial and chaotic...and in some cases, (such as mine), completely disabling. To use this to our benefit, we must use it as lessons vs criticism. We need to grow and learn from our own thoughts and actions, as well as others, and NOT be criticizing it. Its hard to do, but the more we feed each other supportive inspiration, the brighter each of our futures will be. See what others have passion in, and fuel the fuck outta it. When you fuel others, you will fuel yourself; trust me. We are all empaths to an extent. We feed off each other. Most of the time this is referred to as “energy” and “vibes”....but its true. Whatever you put out into the universe will always return back to you... so I always quote “Spread those good vibes, y’all!” 

Now, if you’ve made it this far in my post, first let me just say THANK YOU. This means a lot to me. I felt (and still struggle with this to this day) of feeling invisible and secretly hated... so when anyone shows any interest in me, I light up. 

So onward of the whole “about me” I suppose, as well as my intro to this blog.

I needed an outlet to pour my mind into, as well as help others connect to me in a deeper way since I struggle with communication. My mind will literally overflow with thoughts that need to be thrown up somewhere, so heres one place they’ll go. I also plan to vblog on YouTube. I am a streamer on Twitch as well. I am on Facebook, Instagram, Discord, and will spread into other social medias as I see fit. 

I started streaming on Twitch October 27th, 2019. It changed my life in many ways. I started it to build a safe place community/family, and it has been amazing. I cannot be more thankful for our community family. I mostly do the “Just Chatting” feature on there, but stream game play from time to time, and multi-stream with others as well. I mostly focus on helping others with therapy chats for free & run on a ‘donation/subscription” basis. 

I absolutely love music. I’m obsessed with Rick & Morty. I used to be obsessed over Pusheen, and as I still have a place for that adorable feline in my heart, the obsession kinda faded. 

I love to game and favor adventure slash games and FPS mostly. 

I enjoy drawing anime, even though I have no interest in watching it. Go figure.

I write poetry from time to time. I also make jewelry, paint, etc. I love to design; whether it be decorating, technology based, fashion related, WTF ever....LOL I see it as an artistic way to plan I suppose?

I am a very misunderstood individual and hope for understanding for myself, as well as others. 

I will end this post there for now, and add on when the urge comes. I hope y’all stick around and enjoy my company. 

~peace & love~

xoxo angel (^_^)