#you werent perfect and you did fucked up things. im mad at you. but you didnt deserve to die for it.

[flowermist7432]

Today is Mother's day and i'm not sure how to feel about it. Ever since i learned the news of my mom dying last year ive been struggling to understand how to cope with that- I really wish I knew the exact day she passed away. Which is weird right? But i dunno, i feel like having some day to mourn would help. I just remember being on the laptop playing a game and my grandma coming in to tell us the news. I remember the exact place my character was standing in the game when we were told. and I have so many unanswered questions that I can never get closure for. On top of that, learning from my older sister what happened in her life and how it led up to her death; fills me with so many mixed feelings. Angry? offended? sad? confused? I really dont know. I miss you mom

[im-fucking-baalin]

Tell me . More about your cult of the lamb au :3

I'm specifically curious about the idea that lamb could have been a priest of a religion based around a warped version of Narinder (you could say... a cult)

How did they warp his image? Does he know about it? How long has the religion been around- does it dissappear when the lamb is sacrificed? Grrrr I am so curious!!!

RAHHHH ITS 5AM THE PERFECT TIME TO ANSWER THIS OF COURSE !!!

ok first of all, english is not my first language so if theres something you didnt quite understand lmk pls 🤝

sooo,,, an incredibly long explanation is incoming!

im gonna be honest, this all originated from A Single™️ line that Shamura said in-game. This One:

"The lamb is, after all, the sacrificial beast. Bred to slaughter"

Since the first time i read it, it kept lingering in my mind because, wdym.

In my own madness, that lines existence means that, even before the lamb genocide happened, the bishops considered lambs as some kind of free soul resource they could use for sacrifice with no repercussions. And thanks to that, ive been constantly in a state of Making Things Up In My Mind Until Shit Starts To Make Sense.

And heres where, basically everything comes into play. The lambs were Narinders cult, to some extent. They were assigned to him, courtesy of his siblings, to be literally the pastor of them, yknow, protecting them and guiding them until the time to be sacrificed came. However, those sacrifices were never for him. Those were for the rest of the bishops.

Let me explain! One thing i LOVE with what the community has done in COTLs lore understanding is the way we see the crowns powers. like HELL YEAH they are NOT a single concept they EMBRACE the whole spectrum of said concept! Including everything that may be considered "good" and "bad"!!!

AND NOW, the important thing with this,,,,

In-game, after indoctrinating the bishops into your cult, and completing each individual quest for them, they kind of tell you where they got their crowns? the version of the game ive been playing is the spanish one, and honestly i hadnt read those same dialogues in english to see if they actually translated them faithfully, but oh well!

Thats what i got from it; with the four telling you how they were basically normal creatures before finding the crowns. mind you, finding

We are talking about a culture in wich gods were kind of the basic population, maybe in the timespan before that weird "war" happened; youd think they would be more careful with those things no? Exactly!

The bishops werent properly crowned!!! :000

THIS MEANS, in my mind, that they had absolute zero knowledge of what those crowns fully embrace!!

This, also, is where i have a loose knot, for i still hadnt come to a reasonable explanation on how Narinder got his, for he seems to be the only one who wasnt a crawling creature before the crown, possibly meaning he WAS properly crowned. ill work more on this in the future :P

SO, before i start expanding waaaay more, this is where i wanted to get to, but itll be on giant general terms that i promise ill explain with more detail in the future:

the bishops didn't believe in death having some kind of spectrum to it, one that they used on their own personal gain, receiving offerings and such in exchange of "good things". As a result, they kind of excluded him, in a not so catastrophic way like you might think, but rather in a "your domain is of no use to us" kind of way.

This was a result of Shamuras doing, for they were the only bishop who got to understand what a crown entails, knowledge being in their domain after all

(as a little side note, i FUCKING LOVE what this implies. Yknow? that the contrary of war is not peace but rather knowledge, because the more informed you are the more able to see what kind of shit youre doing, yet also functioning as the greatest weapon to use in the field IS PEAK TO ME)

What Shamura was trying to do was protect him. They were very afraid of him, and in trying to make that fear go away, they decided to kind of "keep" the truth away. This resulted in him never exploiting his full domain, wich then led to ppl believing that praying to death was basically useless, unless you did it to get consolation, wich meant there were no offerings or sacrifices in his name.

Now, as the pastor of the lambs Narinder hated the way the other bishops treated them. The lambs were kept in some kind of village, from where they, whenever they wanted, could choose any lamb and make Narinder sacrifice them in their name. Even kids!

Well, after this half-assed explanation bc i didnt want to make it way longer, here comes the actual answer to your question! (sorry!)

the religion started the moment the lambs managed to escape the place they were kept in. the situation that led to this, was the same one that sparked the conflict between siblings: a resurrection.

even if Narinder was their patron god, the lambs never had contact with him until the time to sacrifice came. here youre gonna meet ellen! shes a missing link i had to write into the story for it to make more sense. she is, also, the culprit for that religion to exist!

Basically, that day they had sacrificed her lover. they were planning to escape that night, but sadly they had no chance on knowing who was to be chosed for slaughter next. instead of praying to their god, she insulted him, with such a burning passion, Narinder knew this was his opportunity.

he made a deal with her. he would revive her lover, and in exchange she would leave and never tell anyone what happened. the only gain Narinder was going to have with this was the knowledge that he could actually revive ppl, so it was a total win-win.

ellen, however, saw this as death being the kindest god to ever exist, and she felt incredibly lucky, for she was the first and only to ever be offered this.

we all know how this went, though. the ritual was interrupted by the bishops, they started arguing, Narinder did what he did etc etc

she escaped, alongside her whole village, and decided to mask her selfish act with sermons about how Narinder sacrificed himself so they could live better lives, and how he had choose her to be the carrier of his word. it was all made up ofc.

so, for a millenia, the lambs were worshipping an incredibly distorted version of Narinder. They didnt even get his name, nor his title. They only knew him as death. This also meant Narinder never got to know about this. As far as his knowledge go, the lambs may all had been sacrificed without any regulation in the next coming days after his imprisonment. None on his name, tho

fast forward and we get to Lambert! theyre the last priest to this religion, both figuratively and literally

the way priests and priestesses (?) work in here is something that in on itself deserve its own post, but on general terms:

in catholicism the priest is a person who got religious preparation to serve god and spread His word. they are meant to be chaste, kind, and just. they are also meant to be "served", to some extent.

in here, priests are more like the leaders of the lamb population, replacing Narinders role back in the day. they were all following a rule that only female direct descendants from ellen could get that title which OF COURSE MEANS IT WAS A TRANS DOMINATED FIELD LETS FUCKING GO (projecting much? LMAOOO)

so, yeah! they guide and serve! so imagine Lamberts pain after the bishops kill not only their family, but their Whole Fucking Species in front of their eyes!!! lads flabbergasted!!!!

and thats it! thats how they got a distorted version of Narinder for worship. No, he had no idea that both the lambs were still alive and that they had been worshipping him in a completely different way than intended. and yes! the religion did disappear once lambert got sacrificed! but to explain what actually happened there i need to make another pointlessly big paragraph and honestly i think i already abused my yapping rights for today!

i promise, all these concepts WILL be treated at their own pace, but it may take time for me to develop them nicely!

if you, however, fancy keep asking questions for me to go apeshit at them, PLEASE PLASE PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!

MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! you asked about the EXACT point ive been DYING to expand more on THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

[ase-trollplays]

When We Were Kids (Part One)

...s-so... how are you feeling?... ...s-still s-sore?...

Y'all got no idea. The only thing that don't hurt is blinkin'. I swear, soon as I can move again, I'm suplexin' Dan inta next sweep.

...he only picks on you because he cares... ...its his way of making s-sure you dont obsess over everything...

Ya mean like the fact I fucked myself an' can never have anythin' close ta a normal life ever again cuz I lost my fool head?

...yeah... that... ...im just relieved you werent killed... ...i... ...i was going insane thinking id have to bury another moirail...

I wouldn't be too relieved. I can't go out in public ever again with legis an' fleet dogs out fer my head. Prolly got a hefty bounty, too, an' rewards fer turnin' me in. Y'all two ain't safe either if anyone finds out y'all know me.

...yeah... ...when dantli comes back... we s-should all talk about where were going from here...

Ugh, I can't even get my shit from my hive. It's prolly bein' watched or somethin', or it's been raided an' bugged by now in case me'r one a y'all shows up. God, my lusus ain't gon' know what happened ta me, an' he can't come here like yers. I ain't sure he'll wait a sweep fer me ta come back like when I was a kid.

...that reminds me... ...when i was in the hospital... you s-said you knew exactly how i felt when i was being held captive... and that i s-should ask you about your childhood...

Yeh. Yeh, I did say that, didn't I? I'm guessin' this is yer way a askin'?

...yeah... if you dont mind...

Alright. It ain't a happy story, but I'm sure ya already figured that. I guess I'll start from the beginnin'.

I was even more a a hotheaded stubborn shit when I was a kid, if y'all can believe that. Pickin' fights with every troll I saw an' tryin' ta befriend the ones who beat me. Which was damn near all a them cuz fer all my bluster, I was a twiggy scrawny little toothpick, ain't had a ounce a muscle on me. I didn't want nobody thinkin' I was weak just cuz I was a skinny rust.

I was always gettin' my dumb ass beat up an' hurt tryin' ta prove I ain't no wimp, but I did get some good friends outta it. Even had a li'l flush crush on one a them, a girl who beat me in a fight just by knockin' me down an' sittin' on me 'til I wore myself out tryin' ta get her off. I had a whole group a friends back then. I can't tell ya what their names'r caste was, but we were a happy li'l group.

Here's the part where everythin' goes ta shit. When I was five, I was out patrollin' my li'l territory when I spotted a scraggly-lookin' teal prowlin' around. He was a adult an' a lot bigger'n me, but I challenged him all the same. He hauled off an' kicked me dead in the stomach an' told me ta get lost. If I was smart I'd a left it at that, but who said wrigglers are smart? I wasn't ready ta say I lost, so I picked myself up, grabbed a big ol' rock, an' chucked it square at the back a his head. Hit him so hard he started bleedin' an' staggered a good bit.

He looked back at me real mad at first, then he started smilin'. Said I had a lot a fight in me for a twiggy brat. I told him there's more where that came from if he don't git, an' he laughed an' said he'd have a ball breakin' me. 'Fore I knew it, he was right up on me, an' I didn't have no time ta react 'fore he got me in the gut with a stun gun an' knocked my ass right out.

I woke up in a cell with a couple other young trolls. I asked where I was, an' they said I was in the slave camp. Said I was here cuz they were gon' break me, train me inta a perfect li'l pet slave, then sell me off ta the highest bidder. Needless ta say, I wasn't havin' that shit. I made it my mission ta put up as much a a fight as I could an' refuse ta be domesticated.

First handler they assigned ta me was that teal that grabbed me. Since I already fought with him once, I knew what ta expect. He got a lotta good licks in over the first couple nights, but eventually he slipped up an' I was able ta steal his stun gun an' shock him dead in the eyes. After that, they decided to gimme their toughest, meanest, biggest handler.

He was a big blueblood who made us call him "Mister," an' he took that shit serious. I called him asshole exactly once an' he slapped me 'cross the face so hard he damn near snapped my neck. I couldn't feel my face fer a night afterward. Most a my abuse came from him, an' I just know he was havin' fun beatin' my ass every night tryin' ta make me give up.

But I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched, so I didn't make shit easy fer him. He beat me ta shit, starved me, locked me in a tiny li'l cage, an' made sure no one talked ta me'r tried helpin' me'r they'd be in the same boat. His favorite punishment fer me was the post. There was a big wooden post in a sort a courtyard outside with a pair a manacles attached. He'd lock me in, hike up my shirt, an' tear me ta ribbons with a whip. Afterwards, he'd leave me out there fer nights with only a thick blanket thrown over me ta keep me from bein' completely cooked ta death by the sun durin' the day.

He liked hearin' me cry an' scream in pain, so I'd try my damnedest to keep my mouth shut no matter how hard an' how much he whipped me. I'd stay quiet for the first thirty seconds, but after that I could never hold it in anymore. Then he'd whip me more fer resistin'. So many times I was close ta givin' up if it meant he wouldn't torture me no more, but I didn't wanna let him win.

...oh my god... ...im s-so s-sorry... ...i cant even imagine... and i s-said all that--

Y'ain't gotta apologize fer bein' mad. I get it. Ya were in a scary situation, an' hearin' that I never even tried ta find ya when this whole thing was my damn fault ta start with? I'd a been pissed, too.

...s-still though... ...it was s-so insensitive...

It ain't like y'all knew any a this at the time. It's fine.

...how did you get out??...

Heh, that's where shit gets real interestin'.

They kept me at that camp fer half a sweep torturin' me, but I held on. I dunno why they didn't just cull my stubborn ass a long time ago. My guess is cuz Mister wanted the satisfaction a breakin' me cuz ain't no one else been this much a a challenge fer him fer so long. If he let them cull me, it ain't a real win. But eventually he reached the end a his patience with me.

I managed ta get a hold a a fork an' taunted Mister 'til he grabbed me 'round the throat an' got right in my face ta threaten me. I stabbed him in the eye an' tried ta make a break fer the exit while he was screamin' an' cursin' an' bleedin'. A course, I didn't make it nowhere close ta the door 'fore I got caught. Mister was fumin' somethin' fierce, and I didn't even get a chance ta register what he was about ta do 'fore everythin' just became blindin' pain.

I remember one a the supervisors cussin' him out cuz they was plannin' on sendin' me ta The Pit, an' now I ain't in no condition ta be transferred. That fucker cut me open from rib ta hip with a dagger. I spent nights in the infirmary tryin' ta get stabilized an' patched up. I was so weak from bein' starved an' beat on a regular basis that I almost died.

But like I said, I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched. I was able ta recover enough ta get my stitches out, but after they they decided ta cut their losses and finally cull me. Mister wanted ta do the honors himself. After what I did ta him, he didn't care about winnin' no more. He wanted me dead. He filled a tub full a water, threw me in, an' held me down with his foot while I thrashed an' tried ta free myself 'fore I drowned. Eventually I lost consciousness.

I woke up chokin' on water an' hackin' the shit out my lungs in the middle a the forest. I figured they dumped my body fer the undead an' the animals ta eat once I blacked out. I didn't know where I was or how ta get back home, an' I was fuckin' scared. But I was free after half a sweep in captivity, an' that was more important than bein' afraid. I picked a direction an' started walkin'.

I didn't have no way a huntin' ta feed myself, an' I was still fuckin' weak as shit, so I didn't eat much a nothin' 'cept whatever bugs an' small animals I was able ta catch. I had ta sleep up in trees durin' the day ta avoid the roamin' undead. Eventually between the hunger an' bein' exhausted all the time, I dropped.

Next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in a hive belongin' ta some li'l jade even younger'n me sayin' him an' his lusus found me. I was still a ornery li'l shit an' wasn't exactly a good hiveguest. He still helped me an' everythin' though. Kept me fed, gave me a place ta sleep. Once I was mostly healed an' had my strength back, I robbed him blind an' ran. Took every piece an' scrap a food I could carry, stole a couple knives, an' I was off. I'd prolly apologize ta him if I ever see him again, not that I remember what he even looked like, an' I'm sure he don't remember me or wouldn't recognize me now.

I spent the next half sweep doin' whatever I could ta survive an' try ta find my way home. I stole, I killed, I broke inta hives, I did whatever I had ta do ta make it ta the next night. When I finally made it hive after that half a sweep, my pa was there waitin' fer me. He waited fer a whole sweep fer me ta come back instead a takin' in a new charge. I bawled the hardest I ever have in my life. Makes me feel extra shitty that I can't go back an' say my goodbyes ta him. He's prolly still waitin' fer me ta come back just like I did last time I went missin'.

...if you want... i can ask dantli to go to your hive and tell your lusus you arent coming back... ...i dont think hes on anyones radar s-since he doesnt s-socialize... ...i can tell him to make it look like he's robbing you s-so they dont get s-suspicious... and itll be a convenient way to get s-some of your things for you...

That ain't a bad idea. S'long as he don't say nothin' stupid'r incriminatin', that could work.

Anyway, speakin' a going back hive, when I finally made it back ta mine after my sweep in Hell, I couldn't function fer shit. I didn't wanna reach out ta my friends cuz I didn't want 'em ta see how broken I was. I didn't wanna look weak ta them, an' none a them reached out anyhow. In just that one sweep, they moved on from me, which still kinda hurts ta know that's all it took ta lose 'em.

Fer perigees after, I'd have daymares a bein' back at the slave camp, weak an' in pain with Mister standin' over me with the whip, then draggin' me out ta the post. I was barely gettin' any sleep, I couldn't eat, an' I was terrified a bein' in water. That's when I decided ta start bulkin' up an' gettin' stronger so I couldn't be taken back there or anywhere else.

Fer three sweeps, I had the mother grub a anxiety. A lotta nights, I couldn't even get the nerve ta leave my hive. I'd get anxiety attacks an' panic attacks when I saw highbloods, 'specially male blues. An' y'all know me. When I start gettin' anxious, I get real mad an' itchin' fer a fight. Even now, I don't hate highblood s'much as I get anxiety bein' around 'em. An' I do also hate 'em.

That's when I started drinkin'. It wasn't about gettin' drunk. It was a way ta calm my frazzled nerves an' keep my anxiety under control. Over time, though, it turned inta a addiction, an' y'all know how well that ended up workin' out fer me in the end.

That's basically everythin' about my childhood, so believe me when I say I know exactly what it's like ta not know if yer gonna live ta see another night, an' cryin' yerself ta sleep durin' the day cuz everythin's so awful, an' prayin' that yer loved ones ain't next or won't be too tore up if ya don't survive.

...i... im s-so s-sorry... ...no one s-should have to endure that... especially not a child... ...i... i...

C'mon now, y'ain't gotta cry about it. It sucks, but it's in the past now, an' fallin' ta pieces over it ain't gon' fix nothin'.

...i... i know... but...

It's okay, I get it. If it'll make ya feel better, go ahead an' cry it out. I can hold ya if ya want.

...but arent you s-still sore?...

Not so sore I can't comfort my pale. It ain't gon' kill me, so get yer li'l cryin' sniffly self over here.

[idcpxseur]

disclaimer: i have no genuine hatred/contempt for jess or jason! i am just very, very angry!

i hate how every guy in mystreet is obsessed with aphmau. like it pisses me off SO much. like okay. i get garroth, laurence, and aaron because you know THEY WERE HER LOVE INTERESTS IN MCD but dante??? travis???? brendan (for the literal slightest bit that he was here)??? three people who did not show any romantic interest her besides small (insignificant) crushes, that didnt go beyond playful flirtation and/or quick things that dont go deeper beyond surface level.

and i know mystreet was written in tandem with pdh but it doesnt make sense that they would include a wholesome friendship with travis and aphmau and then turn around and have them turn around to be strangers and travis flirting with her because he has an interest to her (but does... but does he actually??? or does he just like her because shes pretty like???)

thats why i like zanemau (as i will ramble abt in another post) so much because i was rooting so HARD for zane because he does flirt with her occasionally but its always backed up with a joke and he never showed any romantic interest for her. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER. FRIEND. FIRST.

and ofc im going to have the whole group genuinely become friends first but in mystreet it PISSES me off

and on top of that, they treat her like a prize to be won. which makes me mad because their mcd counterparts would. NEVER.

ive never talked about it here but all of the guys (excluding zane and vylad) took the biggest brunt of the character assassination tirade that jason (jason. not jess. jason. i have a firm belief that jason was a bigger contributor to mystreet than jess) went on to reduce all of the characters to cheap knockoffs and unfunny flat, static characters. while their mcd characterizations werent perfect, theyre LEAPS and BOUNDS better than their mystreet variations

and you want to know why? because they probably sat there and looked at the original version of mystreet (and mcd season 2) and said "damn, aaron is a fucking boring character" because he IS. compared to the vast majority of the characters in mystreet and mcd, aaron is largely uninteresting! in mystreet he has no real motivations. no drive, no friends, no job (that we hear about) and we never see aaron and aphmau hang out UNLESS its a scene where garroth and laurence over-fucking-react to aphmau having friends (oh god forbid the woman have male friends!) and sure he has the ultima thing going for him but we never even start hearing about that until mystreet season 3 (and pdh season 2)

and in mcd hes even worse! hes just some (probably musty) dude who came out of nowhere and saved aphmau from werewolves and has a vendetta against zane (surprise surprise, look around fucko! you arent alone, the entirety of rua'an has an axe to grind against the fucker!! get in fucking line!!). hes even LESS interesting than mcd aaron because he legit has NOTHING GOING FOR HIM. he never even made conversation with aphmau unless she was being a damsel or they were alone!!

you know doki doki literature club? when monika starts fucking around with the character files and pumped all of the girl's worst, most undesirable traits to max to make herself appear more likeable to the mc? i imagine that was jason's idea to make the boys look terrible and aaron look like a hero.

also side note: the fact that jason looks nothing like aaron weirds me the fuck out. like aphmau is obviously jess' self insert with similar hair, skin, and eye color but aaron looks nothing like jason aside the color of their fucking eyes. wack.

anyway thats it. sorry its taking me so long to update any of this, ive been trying to you know do this whole "self care" shit. its been working really well but ive been spending less time online as a result! but im working on my notes and im trying to figure out how i want to write this out! i dont have the time to write a comic book but i was thinking about writing and posting it on ao3!!! what do you think?

anyway, thats all for now. toodles!

[vintagepresley]

i truly don’t understand how linda could have done more to help e and i feel like labeling her as an enabler is insanely unfair when she did more for him than most of the people around him and to call her an enabler feels mad misogynistic. linda was only 8 yrs old when elvis’ addiction started and she was 22 when she met elvis, just like cilla she was thrown into a situation that she had no idea how to handle at such a young age, so to expect her to be perfect and make the best decisions is completely unfair to the situation. like if it wasn’t for linda he would have died WAYYYY earlier. and you brought up jerry and larry but… jerry and larry werent with him ALL the time like linda was. like in those private moments where he was in his room choking on food, who was there… linda. idk i feel like when it comes to linda the arguments against them stem from mad misogyny… im not calling her a saint but like shes better than most of the women and men that were around him that could have given less of a fuck abt the person and were only keeping him alive for his money or for his fame.

(also who cares that she still posts him. he was VERY influential in her life, he was literally the first love of her life who died tragically, why wouldnt she post abt him… and what if she just likes interacting with the fans??? how is that a bad thing…)

This is what I mean.. People are quick to defend Linda at any cost and say how was she suppose to know what to do in that situation and how she thrown into it. But when it comes to Priscilla people feel the opposite about and expected her to be able to do everything for this man and knowing how to take care of him. Expecting her to be perfect and then putting the two women against one another on who took care of him better. If you feel I’m being misogynistic then like that’s your opinion man. But I do feel she kind of enabled the behavior. Like yeah she saved his life and saved him from choking and was in the hospital with him. But did she try to motivate him to help himself? To want to do better? I feel like at least some of his friends tried to get him out of his room and get him to go out and keep himself busy and active. That’s what I meant by that. These are just my opinions. I don’t expect anyone to agree and that’s fine.

I never said there was a problem with her posting about him all the time. But people complain Priscilla or anyone else talks about him too much but then it’s okay for her to do it? So I’m like only certain people can talk about him? He was the first love to a lot of women and they all cared just as deeply for him as she did and some felt the tragic loss of him even deeper. Good for her she likes interacting with her fans. I just thought it was weird people have a problem when someone else does it.

Anyway, if you don’t like what I’ve said please feel free to unfollow.

[nightmaredxydreams]

we just found the most deflective, persecutory quiz on quotev. its about why you cry. the author said not to get mad because they tell the truth and are right a lot so the quiz is accurate or something (sounds like a narcissist/gaslighter/mental abuser in general doesnt it?)

we answered honestly and heres our answer:

there is so much wrong with this where do i start.

first, "you cry because you dont get your way" is pathetic. theres mild things that people get annoyed by but i think experiencing a traumatic event, being verbally assaulted, or having mental disorders that affect outlook (depression or bipolar) or anything worth crying about is not "getting your way. "

the "you get bullied" is also pathetic. bullying has been proven to cause ptsd, depression, eating disorders and suicide. bullying victim here, it made our system bloom with alters that seem "extra and not necessary because they never front" and are walled off with no internal communication whatsoever. these alters held severe self hate and lack of trust in people. they did and said things i never would because of their pain and lack of trust. i have an entire year of my life lost to these alters. things i wish i remember and never will.

what the author doesnt realize is the feelings of "im miserable and worthless" often if not almost always come from trauma, especially in early childhood. which is why saying "you need to have some self respect and respect for others. you only see yourself. everythings about you" is ableist and insensitive. people who think theyre miserable and worthless especially if this is because of childhood trauma, have respect for others and none for themselves. they feel that way because they are comparing themselves to others their ptsd/cptsd distorted view has deemed better than them. people who feel miserable and worthless help others more than a confident person would, and even give up their own lives for the people they deem better than them. i thought that was common knowledge.

the "you need to wake up to reality, youre not the only one suffering, stop pitying yourself" part is insensitive to people with trauma and depression especially bipolar. okay duh, everyone suffers and no ones life is perfect. but its up to the person suffering to put their own suffering on a scale and measure it. lets take two people. one was physically abused and the other was trauma free until they were verbally assaulted by a stranger. people who dont get trauma and dont care to or dont know about ptsd will say "it was just one slur. get over it. people went through worse." but the physically abused person might be numb and not as affected by the abuse as the person who was verbally assaulted.

the part that has me the most bothered is "being sad all the time is basically calling for attention. no one wants to keep reassuring you about this and that" and "cut the crap" being sad all the time is not calling for attention. being sad all the time is a sign somethings wrong. this is commonly seen in child abuse victims. depression is often caused by trauma. and people with cptsd and dissociative disorders have little to no memory of their trauma, so they always need to seek reassurance something happened to them, they werent born broken. needing constant reassurance because of denial is a symptom of every post traumatic disorder. saying being sad all the time is basically calling for attention. no one wants to keep reassuring you about this and that" is invalidating very valid people with post traumatic disorders. it might lead one of them who gets easily severely triggered and does dangerous things when triggered, like me, into self destructive behavior, self harm and suicide.

the whole part at the end is guilt trippy. especially the karma thing. how the fuck is that related to the subject? are they trying to say "hey, i dont give a fuck and you just having human emotions is wrong, go get hit by a winnebago!" because its okay to have emotions. its okay to have trauma. its okay to feel like you have it worse. its okay to have mental disorders like depression and bipolar.

the picture is even worse. an ableist guilt trippy invalidating quote made inspirational quote style. glamorizing and beautifying ableism and invalidation of trauma is not going to get you anywhere or prove a point. it just makes you look like an insensitive, cruel fool.

this person probably posted that bc they have some unresolved trauma and a persecutory voice in their head that overwhelms them to the point they want to hurt others to release that persecutory pain. ive been there. i did some fucked up shit when i was younger because of that persecutory voice. invalidating other vulnerable people online is not the way to handle it. getting therapy is the way to handle it.

i think the persecutory voice is evident in the other results that glorify people being "truly hurt but strong" (the ableist "if you have emotions youre a weak piece of shit" view)

guilt tripping about crying again i see, "dont cry too much youll flood the world with your tears"

this is backhandedly nicer but still the same emotion shaming message if you read between the lines

youd never think the "oh my god you are sad all the time? youre such a shitty person go fuck yourself! " and this were typed by the same person. it seems like the author suffers with trauma or mental illness and has shame and a persecutory voice, so they vent their frustrations onto others like them and take sides. to them, youre a worthless piece of shit if you show your true emotions but youre going good if you dont, but its okay to show a little. thats the most fucked up thing we have ever heard. its morally neutral to do either of the three- bottle it up, let out a little, or always let it out.

i hope the author finds peace and therapy. theyre toxic right now and going to hurt someone with their words if they havent already. and they need to get educated on how trauma affects mental health before they just say shit and make a quiz for vulnerable people with trauma.

[aure-chan]

you wanna shit talk me? own up to what you did wrong, too, then. i know i wasnt healthy. you werent either. but youll never ever admit your half cuz youre scared theyll dislike you. yeah. how do you think i feel? i never cheated on you. i made our arrangement very clear from day 1. i am not comfortable with commitment, i don't like it. i told you if you dont like it, youre allowed to go and i wont be mad. you spied on me. catfished me, sexted me on alternate accounts. but im the only bad one?

yeah, bye. i don't want to get too personal on a fuckin' tumblr ask response but just so we're clear, i was honest about fuckin' everything in our friend group. i kind of bent over backwards to try to insist that not everything was your fault. i'm not going to pretend like i was a perfect angel either, i was a shithead. i'm explicitly answering /this/ ask instead of the /other/ one because it's going to highlight specifically exactly what some of the shit things i did were.

but don't act like you give a shit about our friendship. don't act like you /didn't/ cheat on me just because i was ok with it, because i was in love with you and wanted to suppress any discomforts with you constantly cheating on me as a result. you wanna know /why/ i catfished you? because at a certain point it was the only way to get any fucking affection from you that wasn't a milquetoaste cat gif every five fucking hours because you were too distracted with your groupies. at least with junko, i could still talk to you, hang out with you, reliably be able to spend time with you, not just as a partner but as a friend.

you're just mad you got caught, and as a result nobody wants to be around you anymore. i don't, and i /still/ fucking miss you. call me toxic if you want, maybe i am, i probably am, but saying 'it's ok that i cheated because i told you that you could leave if you didn't like it!' isn't the gotcha you think it is when i was so in love with you i actively wanted to marry you, someone i had never (and never /would/) meet in real life. should i have said something? yeah. was it reasonable to expect me to? i don't think so.

it's whatever. for what it's worth, i hope you do well, after.

[lfc21]

The journey home

It was final. The day had come where you had to finally say goodbye to the closest circle you had. For 2 months you had to live in another country, no more trips to anfield, parties at thiagos House or days waiting for kostas to come out of training, now it was the international break. You loved the international break, it was a time you could spend days travelling to different countries whilst supporting your boyfriend playing for his home team. Being in greece was a home away from home for you, it was perfect.

Since the parade yesterday you could of done with an extra hour in bed or be able to set your alarm to snooze but that wasn't possible, instead you where up bright an early strolling around security at the airport.

"Babe do you want something to eat?" You asked sitting opposite your boyfriend next to the huge window decorated with planes and busy workers going through there shift.

"No I think I will be sick" kostas replied back with his head in his hands at the thought of keeping a piece of food down. Kostas didn't mean to drink so much yesterday it just happened. He had started with a light beer, then abit more and then the next thing he knew he was falling up your stairs at home. He was never someone to get drunk regularly but you where sure he had made up for every party he had ever missed out on.

"Charming" you said with a laugh as you watched his messy hair sit wildly under is hat. Kostas was never someone to be down, quiet, or tired but seeing him like this made you want to hold him in your arms and never let go.

"I think im going to fall apart" he mumbled to you with his face crushed against the table and his hands gripping onto the hard wood. You knew this would happen, he werent used to the after math and now it was happening he thought he was dieing.

"Drama queen" you replied back with a giggle whilst tracing the bones within his fingers up to his watch. You loved feeling his skin against yours, the feeling off his love blending with yours made you heart skip a beat and your face turn up into a smile.

"Y/n" kostas mumbled into the table. Your eyes diverted to his head which was covered by a black cap. A confused expression was riding on your face at the thought of why he wanted you that much he felt the need to say your first name.

"Yeah" you replied softly. He looked up from his hunched back position to look up at you. His eyes locked in yours and saw the waves of blue which where among yours.

"I love you" he gently said with a smile making your heart stop and your teeth to become more exposed. No matter how many times a day kostas said those three simple words it would still always bring a wave of happiness over you.

-

You and kostas where both sat in a world of your own wondering how many possible ways there where to make the flight any quicker. You where both itching to arrive in the beautiful glistening country. It had been a few months since you enjoyed the Greek sun and there was no amount of words which could stop you from wanting to leave the gorgeous place. Kostas's hands woudnt leave yours, the blended love you both had sat within the skin of his.

"Seats for landing. Seats for landing" an airhostess announced walking up and down the Isles of first class.

"Thank fuck for that" kostas blurted out slightly louder than he wanted it to be. You snapped your head towards kostas aswell as the poor women upon who the announcement was aimed at.

"Scuse me" the woman said to kostas causing you to let out a laugh you had no intention of keeping in.

"Nothing" kostas mumbled back with a cheeky smile causing her to shake her head and walk off. Kostas was a child and you knew how much his mum was going to go mad when you told her how cheeky he actually was. You couldn't help your laughs and you where now stuck underneath the neckline of kostas's hoodie. "Will you shut up did you not know we where landing" kostas added gesturing his hand over to the woman stood at the front of the plane who made it very clear of the current state of the journey. Kostas had no intention to shut up and you where starting to wonder when it was the right time to leave him in the middle of Greece.

"I think she's going to kill you" you said to him as your laughs died off. Kostas couldn't help but giggle to himself at how much he had gotten underneath this woman's skin. Kostas's hand fell back into yours and gave your fingers a kiss letting his lips linger at the feeling off yourself against him.

-

"Hello you two!" Kostas's mum shouted as she saw you both walking out the busy airport. Your hand was grasping against the suitcase out of fear of it rolling away from you or getting sent into a random man's leg.

"Hi!" You shouted over to his mum as soon as you got to the large dark car. Kostas's mum's face was a picture, it was like a portrait seen by millions, she had this captivating happiness around her which she seemed to give to everyone.

"Hello mum" kostas said with a smile whilst hugger her with his spare arm which wasn't occupied by a suitcase.

"How was the flight?" She asked whilst opening the boot of the car in order to get the suitcases in. You looked at kostas with a smile, he knew what you wanted to say.

"Don't you dare darling" kostas mumbled into your ear whilst resting his arm around your chest and stood protectively behind you.

"Hmm?" Kostas's mum asked wondering what the answer was she couldn't quite hear.

"Oh n-nothing, yeah the flight was good" you quickly replied back with a slight giggle. The hot sun was already upon your bodies causing light blankets of glaze over the pair of you. You where so happy to be back in the open of this wonderful country. The feeling off relaxation and happiness was already sitting in your veins and filling the gaps within your brain.

I'm sorry this was a small imagine! I hope you enjoyed this, please leave feedback and requests if possible.

@prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentsko @trentsko @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @andysrobertson @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @hnrfc @tsimikas2l @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexylesbo @henderson1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches

[yammoba]

Mother fuckers did you actually read the fucking comic or were you just reading fanfiction or some shit. What the fuck, its an edgy surreal horror gore comic with some pretty uncomfortable ~dark~ themes like out there on display and when the author turns out to have done some edgy shit in the past yall are shocked?? Are you all too young to remember 2010??? Adults on television were saying and doing equally fucked shit and it was just like, okay i guess. Let alone what people were doing on the internet. Im Not saying it was a great time, but its foolish to expect everyone to have a perfect past.

Some of the shit isnt great to have done, but some of the stuff in the "call out" is a such a strech im sorry. And was from long ago? Like what is the end goal here? To get them to apologize? People are saying they wont forgive them even if they do apologize (which is about par for the corse with these kinds of things). Which is their choice, but like... have fun finding any media to enjoy ever. seriously, what is the point of bringing up stuff that mostly is either from the past and shown to have been changed, or like...

......

Maybe like... if edgy stuff surrounding an edgy weeaboo comic is gonna make you uncomfortable, dont read the edgy weeaboo comic. i think there is a serious disconnect between groups of internet users who understand or have experience with a certain type of internet culture and a certain type of internet user and those who dont remember or werent there for it... I'd say its largly a generation divide but thats a massive generilization. Im mostly thinking about the rats and the nevada-tan hoodie, but in one way or another it applies to most of the shit in the doc. Like yeah, the hoddie is a refferance to a collective internet rpf oc that spawned out of a tragic murder that became a meme in japan and america because people were into shit like higurashi and elfin leid and it was like "oh wow, my horror animes have come to life". Was that a werid fucked up thing to have happened? Yeah, but that is absolutly what internet culture of the day was like. 4chan memes were widespread internet culture. I cannot stress this enough. People seem to understand that the internet of the past was full of problematic edgy shit, but i dont think they understand why or in what ways those things existed. Like i could go through and try to "translate", or try to provide context to a lot of the shit in that doc. Maybe i will. But i dont think anyone who now hates captain howdie (and everyone they associate with or who still likes ranfren) is going to be that open to that. But I'll also say that any demands for an apology or what ever people want, thats missing that context, is probably not going to be understood.

Also... ranfren is a pretty small drop in the media bucket. Its an independant artist and a project that is aimed at a very specific demographic of online weirdo who get a very specific form of catharsis out of it. (At least i do) Its hosted on neocities for fucks sake. If that type of thing isnt for you, thats understandable, clearly not everyone was around back then. But in terms of media that actually has an effect on the world, there are much better targets to be mad at. If you feel like anyone is going to be influenced by the content in ranfren and surrounding works to do bad things or hold bad veiws, (and i hate hate saying this) but they are probably too young or just not the sort of person that should be reading it in the first place.

And i promise, with enough scrutiny anything and anyone can be found to be that problematic, lots and lots of media trends are problematic in some way. So you can either stick to a very limited pool of shit to enjoy, shit that probably not gonna actually give you what you want, so you have to keep writing weird ass fanfiction or whatever, or find a way to make peace with this kind of thing. Figure out where your own lines are drawn, and try to understand different people have different lines for different reasons. For me its pretty important to consider if real life people have actually been harmed or are being harmed or exploited by the making of the media. Which also involves taking the size of the persons platform into consideration, especially when considering problems that are more of the nature of "this plays into harmful narratives about x" rather than: "the vfx workers on this movie were horribly exploited and its being funded by the us military" or "the 45 year old director had a relationship with a 16 year old".

Its a complex world, and nothing can be black or white. And as an artist i really hate when a few bad things are suddenly grounds to read everything in bad faith and assume everyone who still likes the art is a rascist pedo apologist or what ever.

[spicy-tomato]

dream taking reader from the back while Friends by Chase Atlantic is playing in the background 👀

-also may I be 🪐 anon? if not that's absolutely fine! ly stay safe!

yooo ive been working on so many things i forgot i finished this one! hopefully its how you wanted it to be cause im v proud of it. heavy angst in the beginning but it ends with rough smut and fluff

Just tell me what youre doin with that other guy

Your friends had invited you to a party, you didnt want to be here but your most recent boy toy, quackity, had insisted that you both go because he wanted to show you off. As soon as you both got there however, he ran off with some of his friends, leaving you to stand around with your absolutely plastered group of girl friends. They all kept talking about this one guy on the other side of the room who they said was “bad news”. You had no idea who they were talking about until your eyes met.

“I bet i could get in his pants first, i dont care how bad of an idea it is.” says one of your friends.

All of your girlfriends are wasted, they want it, they chase it

You couldnt just let her say that about him, as much as you were mad at him you couldnt stand her degrading him like that. “Actually him and i used to mess around, i kinda miss him to be honest….he was always so sweet and perfect to me.” you retaliate to your friends humiliating comment about the guy you regret losing.

“Youre joking. You do know hes literally the biggest fuckboy ever. Theres no way in hell im even letting you go near him tonight, besides you have quackity now.” gemma said, she may be wasted but she was always the mom of the group. You sigh and go back to your solo cup full of whatever clear alcohol you poured into it earlier.

All of your friends have been here for to long, they must be waiting for you to move on

Gemma continued to watch you for the next several hours until your eyes caught his again. Dream was a fitting name for him, he was like a dream come true for you with his dirty blonde hair and soft, freckled covered face. He always towered over you but it made you feel safe.

Girl, im not with it, im way to far gone

As your eyes met you could tell he was gone, his eyes devouring your skin as if he could still see what you looked like beneath your small skirt and crop top. You shudder at his predatory gaze before he gestures up the stairs and walks away, leaving you shuddering and trying to figure out what he was up to.

“Hey, im gonna run to the kitchen for a drink, ill be back in a sec.” you said and gemma nodded as you quickly make your way through the crowded space and up the stairs.

Heart on your sleeve like youve never been loved

You couldnt lie, you really didnt like quackity but after everything went downhill with dream you just needed someone to be there for you and he happened to walk in at the wrong time. As you get to the top of the stairs, dream pulls you quickly into a bathroom and locks the door before pressing you against it.

Runnin in circles now look what youve done

He looked a mess, eyes puffy and red, obviously not all there after drinking so much.

“Look what youve done to me, really look at it. I havent been the same since i let you go, i made a mistake. Please...please come back.” youve never seen him like this, begging for a second chance.

Give you my word as you take it and run

“How can i trust you wont hurt me again. You said that you would never hurt me then you went and did what you did. How do i know you arent lying?” he looks down, one hand reaching out to take yours.

“Let me prove it to you”

Wish youd let me stay, im ready now

“You cant just walk back into my life and expect me to just take you at your word or let you ‘make it up to me’. What you did tore me apart dream” your eyes go dark as you look at him with anger and sadness.

Just give me some time and space to realize

“After not being with you for so long, it made me realize how much i need you in my life” he looks at you with desperation

And what the hell were we? Tell me we werent just friends, this doesnt make much sense

“You told me that all we would ever be is friends when i told you how much i loved you, how much i still love you. After all of that, after all the tears ive spilled for you, you just expect to walk back in here and regain my love and trust?” you take his hand softly, “thats not how it works as bad as i want it to work that way.”

But im not hurt im tense, cause ill be fine without you, babe

“I lied, i told you i would be fine and that i didnt need your or love you like you love me but i lied. I was so scared of you leaving that i pushed you away. Please, just give me one more chance…” he looked so sad as he said that. Opening up was never one of his strong points so you took what he said to heart.

Wish youd let me stay, im ready now

“Then make it up to me.” you smirk at him as he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Make me forget everything you did to hurt me and maybe i'll give you another chance.” he smirks and his eyes go dark with lust before he pulls you from against the door and bends you over the sink. Your phone rings an you check to see who it is

Incoming call from: quackity

You toss your phone to the side quickly as dream starts to tug at your skirt, tugging it down quickly to see you had nothing on under it.

“Its like you came here ready for me to fuck you princess. Being so naughty with nothing on under this skimpy little skirt.” he slaps your ass hard and you lurch forward with a moan. He pulls your hands behind your back, pinning them there with one hand as the other starts to play with you, putting one finger in and pulling a moan from your throat. “Such pretty noises, god why did i ever let a perfect little thing like you go.” he adds a second finger and starts to thrust them relentlessly as you moan and beg from under him, the familiar tune of a song you played for him drifting up the stairs as you slowly come undone below him. He chuckles darkly before pulling his fingers out, dragging a whine from you before he quickly replaces it, thrusting into you all at once and setting a rough pace. He uses his free hand to tug you back by your hair and make you look in the mirror.

“Look at how much of a mess you are for me, no one else can make you feel like this princess, youre all mine.” he finishes his sentence with a particularly rough thrust that makes you scream out, coaxing an orgasm you didnt even know you were so close to out of you as he keeps going. You watch your form in the mirror, seeing how ruined you looked with tears running down your cheeks and ruined makeup. He laughs behind you before pulling you up to his chest and moving the hand that was pinning your behind your back to your throat, applying light pressure. You let out a silent moan and throw your head back before he leans down and bites it.

“Such a dirty girl, getting off on my hand around your neck” he puts more pressure on your neck before biting above his hand. Your eyes roll back as you cum around him again with a muffled scream. He pulls his hand from your neck and starts to bite and suck on it, his hips stuttering as he comes closer to his end. “S-so fucking good for me princess, never gonna let you go again” as he say that he fills you up with a gutteral moan and you throw your hands back to grip his hair. You both take a second to come down before he pulls out, causing you to whine before he helps you put your skirt back on and turns you to face him.

“Give me another chance?” he smiles softly at you.

“Only if you take me home.” he nods quickly and takes your hand, leading you down the stairs an past your friends and your “boyfriend”

“Hey babe, where are you going with that asshole?” quackity asks before trying to pull you away from dream.

“Actually quackity, we’re over...sorry!” with that, both you and dream rush out of the house and to his car before getting in. he takes you back to his apartment and you both curl up on the couch, you laying on his chest with a content smile as he pulls a blanket over the both of you. You fall asleep in his arms, knowing that it was just right.

[zaikaglow]

Umbrageous Part 4

Pairing: Hange x Reader, Eren x Reader, Erwin x Reader (soon to be Levi x Reader)

Summary: Erwin is out and leaves you under Eren’s watchful eye to keep you out of trouble but when he gets called into the office on a Saturday what is a girl to do to entertain herself while plotting her next move of her office conquest

Content Warnings: Step dad! Erwin, alcoholism mention, size kink, cheating, pseudoincest

This chapter is the longest yet but I decided not to break it up for cohesiveness (if its to hard to read I may break it up if I get that request)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

You were laying in bed wrapped under the covers when you felt a hand touch your foot, Erwin you assume. A smile spreads across your face even while it's buried into the pillow, you feel happy knowing Erwin couldn't resist you so badly he was sneaking into your room while your mother slept off her hangover upstairs. But it's still only 7am and you're tired so you just tug open the covers as an invitation to slide in next to you. Instead of feeling a warm Erwin sliding in next to you to wrap you up in his big arms you're jolted as someone jumps into the bed and a nose starts to nuzzle behind your ear and under your jaw. “Eren”??? You exclaim as you sit up in bed looking bewildered that somehow this boy had gotten into your room. He’s laying down, head propped up on one hand, his elbow digging into the pillow next to yours. “Your dad told me to come and wake you” he says smiling ear to ear “uhh what are you doing here? On a saturday?” you reply still confused as to why he’s here. His eyebrows raised a little, seeming almost a little hurt that you seemed more confused than excited, the poor boy was so down bad for you at times you almost felt a little bad that he was a pawn in your deprived incestous game. “Mr.Smith told me he had an event to go to today and that I should come hand out to keep you company today, he’s making breakfast downstairs”. You place a hand onto his cheek rubbing your thumb in circles in an attempt to placate the saddened look on his face. It works and his smile returns and he takes your hand in his “let's go downstairs”. 

Erwin is at the stove wearing a white tee shirt and his old plaid pajama bottoms, so simple and yet he looks oh so handsome especially when he turns around and smiles “Thanks for getting y/n out of bed Eren”. You both take a seat at the table Erwin places plates of pancakes in front of you and Eren and the dark haired boy slides his hand onto your thigh. “So are you and mom going out tonight or something” you say, still confused as to why Erwin would have invited the “Jaeger boy” into your house and then sending him into your bedroom. Erwin now sits down with the two of you at the table “Yes we have an engagement for her work this evening but we’ll be leaving soon. I figured your friend Eren here could keep you company while we're gone. Keep you out of trouble” He says with a wink. “I'll do my best Mr.Smith” Eren says mouth full, he’s lucky he’s hot otherwise that would have been utterly repulsive. 

A few hours later and your mom and Erwin had left, they were probably going to be staying the night at some Inn since the event was so far away but Erwin had made sure to tell Eren that while he was to keep you company today he shouldn't be staying the night and that he’d be checking in. You and Eren were sitting on your bed, you laying down feet propped up against the headboard scrolling through your phone ignoring a text from Jean asking how you were doing over break and asking if you wanted to hang out once the break ended and that he missed you.. Like he missed his other friends of course (him trying to cover up his feelings only making them more obvious. Eren is sitting at the foot of the bed rattling off things that you could be doing. He wanted to prove to you that he could show you a good time, hopeful that after you both went back to school that you’d still want to see him. You two had been at the same campus this past year and you had never even known he existed; he worried about how easy it would be to forget him after the winter break ended. “Well we could go sledding? I have some old ones back at my place and there's this hill right in town I think that will be fun? Would you think that would be fun?” Eren was rambling when suddenly his phone went off and his eyes went wide “Mr.Ackermen? No it's okay, yeah I can help. Uh actually I was supposed to watch Mr.Smith's daughter today can I bring her? Oh really? Okay I guess that works out” he hangs up the phone. The words coming out of his mouth are so fast they almost blur together “Uhh y/n Im really sorry but Mr.Ackerman’s client had a problem come up and I know it's saturday but I have to come in a help but also the client is there and they're pretty cool i've met them so do you want to come with me? You could hang out with Hange or something. I'm sorry” he looks so nervous that you're about to get mad or upset but his face relaxes as you turn your head and just say “sure” right as you send a text saying the exact same thing to Jean.

It feels strange being back at the office on a saturday the normal bustle of people gone but also you were excited this felt like a way to get your foot in the door or zipper? Of Mr.Ackermans pants. You still knew that this would be the best way to get under Erwin’s skin and force his hand, but you hoped you could do it without Eren finding out it would break the poor boy's heart and he was a pretty good lay in the meantime besides you’ve never even seen Mr.Ackerman for all you knew he was an ugly old guy. You werent even sure if he’d be someone you could tolerate fucking for pure revenge yet.

But that fear was quelled when you saw him, surprised a little by his height he was tiny and you’d have to look down to meet his eye but he was beautiful. His undercut raven hair makes his stealy eyes look exceptionally blue. He was so perfect and little it was almost like he was a doll. And you were surprised at yourself, you mean you had laughed at the jokes about short guys before using the word “manlet” but you couldn't help but notice the tingling in between your thighs thinking about how hot it would be to be towering over him tilting up his perfect little chin to look you in the eyes as you pinned him down with your thighs.

“Eren, when you said you had to watch someone I figured it be a child” Mr.Ackerman said raising an eyebrow

“Yeah well my dad seems to think I’m one” you replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. The corners of Mr.Ackerman’s lips lifted and he let out a small chuckle “I’m Levi, you dad's business partner” he says extending his hand. You give it a slight squeeze to his hand shake admiring how delicate his hands were. “Im y/n it’s nice to finally meet you”. Eren steps out from behind you “So does this mean I can call you Levi now?” Eren chimes in “No” Levi replys rather flatly. It looks like he’s about to say something else when suddenly you see someone emerge from Levi’s office “Leeeeviiii is that your little friend whos here to help? Oh Eren it's nice to see you again!” you're a little surprised how this stranger is also very attractive, you were so used to messing with boys that you were a little caught off guard by just how attractive this feminine  presenting person was. What the fuck was in the water in this town. Instead of walking around the couch that was placed by the office door they clamored over it, Levi wincing as their feet touched the cushions. “Hi, I’m y/n” you say extending your hand the stranger grabs it with both of their hands “I'm Hange Zoe, it's nice to meet you” they say with the most endearing smile. “Hange I told you to keep your goddamn feet off my couch!” Levi exclaims, still holding onto your hands Hange replies ``oh relax, you're so uptight I know you’d make everyone take their shoes off in here if you could”.

“Absolutely I would. Eren we have work to do, Hange try not to bore y/n to death” Levi says before closing the office door behind him. Hange pulls you back onto the cough they had previously just climbed over and asked you how you felt about science. “I like it, I'm actually majoring in biology right now” you say Hange’s eyes light up. They tell you about how they owned a small biotech company that was undergoing a merger and that was what brought them to Levi and Erwin’s business. They went on for a few hours about the intricacies of what they did when suddenly they stopped noticing you staring “Im sorry am I boring you? I’m told I have a habit of droning on” they say apologetic looks in their eyes. “No you're not boring me, I just noticed how beautiful your eyes are”. That's when they invited you back to their hotel, you had both been there so long, Eren and Levi were still working and it would be a while so why not? They popped in to tell the men they’d be giving you a ride home and that when you found yourself sitting on a queen sized bed drink in hand when Hange tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I’ve never done this before, had sex with someone who’s not a man” you say shly Hange is kissing up your neck when they make it to your ear they whisper “youre a scientist” they nip at your earlobe “consider it a sort of experiment” they kiss you tasting sweet tang of their drink on your mouth. You bite your bottom lip sliding your hand up their thighs “will you teach me?” Hange bends down to kiss your ribs over your shirt their hands starting to move towards the button of your jeans when you place your hands over their harms running them up till you meet their jaw and pull their face back up to meet yours “you first” you mutter before dropping to your knees your head now between theirs. Your fingers make quick work of Hange’s button down and when you get to their chest you notice they weren't wearing a bra under their shirt. You kiss by their navel dragging your tongue up till you reach their nipple swirling your tongue around it before latching your lips to it. With how soft they felt in your hand and the way they moaned, threw their head back and gripped at the bed sheet you could feel your own panties getting soaked. You start to move your head back down kissing along their stomach until you get to their waistband you look up at Hange while your delicate fingers start to unbutton their slacks ``you're going to tell me what to do right?” their hand brushes your hair back, their fingers massaging through your scalp “of course my dear”. 

Hange’s hands are pressed to both sides of your face “hhmm thats it, keep circling just like that” you have 2 fingers inside their tight cunt moving in and out making sure to use your knuckles to hit that sweet spot at the top just like Erwin does for you. You keep your pointed tongue moving in quick circles around their clit pausing every few strokes to wrap your lips around it and suck, until finally the fist your hair in their hands as you feel them start to clench around your fingers “good girl, now your turn”. They take your arms pulling you up as they lay down bringing your core right above their mouth kissing your slit over your panties hand running down your thigh, trailing their finger down the crease of your thigh and and core until they reach around the fabric pulling it to the side before dipping their tongue inside you. Your thighs squeeze around Hange’s face as they drag their tongue out of you and up around your clit. Fingers starting to run up your body making their way to your bra. Instead of unclasping it they pull down the cups letting your breasts spill out, fingers tweaking your nipples. It's all too much as you reach back to undo the rest of the bra you feel yourself getting closer as their tongue is back and forward from your dripping slit to your clit and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you ride out your orgasm on their thick tongue.

Laying back in bed Hange has their hands folded behind their head while your sitting cross legged blankets are pulled up to your wrist but your chest is still bare “hey Hange this may not be the best time for this.. But uh is that Levi guy single?” you say playing with fabric between your two fingers too embarrassed to look at the person who just fucked you into oblivion about another. A smile breaks across Hange’s face as they sit up and prop their head up under their fist “Levi?? You're interested really?” you look over at them trying to contain the nervous smile you feel tugging at your lips “yeah I think I am”. They laugh “That little hardass he seems tough but I know he’s lonely he’d appreciate attention from someone as delectable as you”, they tilt their head to the side “I'll introduce you to him again, I know how to warm him up”

Tag List: @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag​

[brelione]

Just Me? (Kelce,Rafe,TopperXReader)

Warnings:Not proof read,mentions of eating disorders,not proof read,hehehehehe yall arent ready <3

The Best Boys   Marvel Movies   Action Figures     Bird

You couldnt stop thinking about what had happened with Rafe.You had tried everything to get it off your mind.You tried going for a swim,wrapping your banadage over with plastic wrap like Kelce had told you but that just made you think of how much more fun it would be to play volleyball in the pool with the boys.

You tried watching tv,doing the dishes and baking but you had baked brownies.Who’s favorite food in the whole world is brownies?Rafe.Rafe fucking loves brownies.You couldnt even understand why Rafe would kiss you.He had literally seen you with tears in your eyes and vomit all over your face.That’s gross.You sat in your kitchen for a while,walking in circles on top of the kitchen table,debating on whether or not to call Kelce.

You couldnt talk to Rafe about it,that was just both awkward and ridiculous.Kelce would probably insist on inviting Rafe over to have a group discussion about the importance of communication and understanding.That left Topper.You huffed,deciding to get off your table and grab a diet coke from the fridge before calling him.

“Did your cut reopen?”He asked anxiously,not even bothering to say hello.He held the football that was previously being thrown back and forth to his chest,holding up a finger to Kelce as he listened to you. “An emotional one.Can you come over?”You asked,tapping your fingers against your marble countertop.

He frowned,looking at the dull sky through his dark sunglasses,letting out a small sigh. “Yeah,sure.So whats going on?Is it the type of emotional reopen that you need McDonalds and coffee or is it a tissue and Criminal Minds situation?”He asked,guessing it was probably the second one.

 “Neither.Are you alone?”You asked,intriguing him. “You want me to come over?Like just me?”He asked. “Are-are you with the others?”You asked,waiting anxiously for his answer.He stared back at a confused Kelce,humming. “Im with Kelce.Would you be okay if I brought him?”He asked you quietly.

 “No-do not bring Kelce.I dont know,just tell him that you have to clean your fishtank or that your uncle died or something.”You exclaimed quickly,not wanting to hurt Kelce’s feelings.Topper’s jaw dropped. “Dont fucking manifest my uncle dyint-just give me twenty minutes,alright?”He asked.You smacked yourself in the face with your palm,groaning. “Yeah,okay.”You answered,hanging up.

You spent those twenty minutes pacing around your house,jogging up and down your stairs until you were painting,tug at your shirt to cool yourself off.You got annoyed with the material,ripping it off your head and throwing it. 

“FUCK!”You shouted for no reason in particular.Everything was beginning to stress you out,walking down the stairs and fighting the urge to scream as the moment ran through your head once more.You always knew Rafe would drive you crazy.Your door opened,Topper standing there with a frozen coffee topped with whipped cream.

He looked over to you,surprised that you werent laying on your couch as usual.He glanced down at your chest for a split second before staring down at the floor,feeling guilty.He held out the coffee to you,eyebrows furrowing when you placed it on the table opposed to eating the whipped cream off. “What’s going on?”He asked,reaching out to grab your shoulders and make you look at him.

 “Im sorry,im really fucking stressed and I have a stomach ache and im going insane and you’re the only person I cant think to talk too.Did you tell Kelce you were comeing here?”You asked.He grabbed your wrist gently,pulling you onto the couch and looking at you with concern evident on his face.

 “I told Kelce that I left my oven on so I had to leave.Rafe is out on the boat with Sarah,Ward,Rose and Wheezie for the day.Can you tell me what’s going on?”He asked,dragging the coffee across the table so it was in front of you.You sighed,bringing your knee to your chest and wrapping your arms around it.

 “I just-god,shitting fuck.”You cursed,getting quiet as you pinched the bridge of your nose.Topper was getting more and more worried as the seconds passed,reaching out a hand to rub your thigh in attempts to comfort you.

He let out a small gasp when you gripped his wrist tightly,shaking it back and forth with slight aggression. “Literally dont tell anyone what im about to tell you,got it?Not Rafe,not Kelce,not Nemo,not your mom,not your uncle not anyone.Do you understand?”You asked,trying your best not to sound completely insane but not succeeding at all.

He nodded quickly,anticipating building up within him. “Yeah,I totally wont.I promise.Now tell me what the fuck is happening!”He exclaimed. “Rafe kissed me.”You answered,feeling your hands shake a little as Topper went silent.He didnt know what to think.He was mroe mad at Rafe than anything.They had all agreed to just stay friends with you and not to fuck anything up.

He felt jealous that he wasn't the one to kiss you but also felt more worried about how you felt about the whole situation.Clearly you didn't feel great about it otherwise he wouldn't be sitting on your couch.He was shocked that you had chose to talk to him over Kelce.You had always picked Kelce to speak to about your emotional problems.That only made Topper think more.

Why wouldn't you want Kelce to know? “God,topper.Can you please say something?You’re stressing me the fuck out.”You huffed.He licked his lips upon realizing that his jaw had dropped. “So he just kissed you?Like,it just happened?”He asked.You nodded,looking over to the coffee and the foamy white mess that had once been a beautiful swirly mountain.

 “So...how do you feel about it?Do you like him like that?”Topper asked,trying to keep himself from freaking out.You bit your tongue,looking over to your tv and deciding that this whole house was too awkward and too quiet.You reached for the remote,putting on some cartoons. “I don't even know.I don't know what to think or how to feel and I havent talked to Rafe since then and now I feel like shit.What do I even do?i cant call him or anything cause I have nothing to say.”You thought out loud,kind of wishing that Kelce was here to go through all of the possibilities to help you figure out your best option.

But he wasn't. “Thats okay.You don't really need to know right this second but if you want to keep things from getting awkward then-well,hear me out.I think its a good idea for you to talk to Rafe about this or just talk to Rafe.Right now things are awkward because you’re not talking to him.Just think about it,you’re avoiding each other which makes you both too uncomfortable to start a conversation which will make things worse.”He explained as if he had been through this type of thing before.

You bit the inside of your cheek,forcing your eyes to look at the tv where a rerun of The Loud House was playing. “You really think its a good idea for me to talk to him?”You asked.You saw him nod from the corner of your eye,hearing your stomach rumble right after. “Yeah,I do.You should call him and ask him to hang out or something.I can invite Kelce over too so its not awkward and you two can either talk about it or not.Just being around him in that setting will probably make you less nervous.”He handed you the frozen coffee and a straw,wanting you to drink it.

 “How stressed have you been?”He asked,relieved when you took a sip of the coffee.You pulled away from the straw,sighing. “Why?Do I seem overly stressed?”You asked,trying to figure out how he could tell you were anxious.On top of being friends with you for over five years he also watched Criminal Minds.He probably knew shit about your anxiousness.

He shrugged,looking around to see where you had thrown your shirt. “Your house smells like brownies.You used to bake so you’d feel closer to food and you stress bake sometimes.When was the last time you ate?”He asked,making your eyes widen and your heart thump.Shit.You hadnt eaten since the last time you saw Rafe,three days ago. 

“Yeah,its been a while,hasn't it?”He asked,knowing that he had caught you. “Did you do this on purpose?”He asked,tracing figure eights on your kneecap. “No,i've just been really stressed.”You answered.He nodded,telling you to drink your coffee while he went to make you something.You sat on the couch,stirring the coffee and thinking again.The thought of him kissing you invaded your mind as you thought back to everything that had led up to it.

You had wrapped your legs around his waist but that wasnt something uncommon for you to do.You’d wrap your legs around him and your arms around his shoulders and make him carry you around like a toddler.Something told you it was just the way the situation was,he was really close to you and no one else was around so why the fuck not?That was probably all it was but your brain kept going back to the way your stomach felt and the way your heart sped up.

It was something that you hadnt felt before and your brain was probably just trying to recreate the feeling by forcing you to think about it for 72 hours straight.Yeah,that made perfect sense.Your phone dinged,causing your heart to drop into your ass.Fuck.You picked it up,not daring to look at the screen as you built up the courage to look at it.

Three….two...one.You looked at the screen,eyes widening when you saw who it was.It was your uncle,one that you hadnt spoken too since your fourteenth birthday.That was the first red flag before you even read the message. “Your mother’s with me.She’s not coming back.”Was all it said.He was in Italy which meant that your mother was too.She had no reason to be in Italy.This had to be some sort of sick joke.Maybe your Uncle’s wife had took his phone and texted that to you just to get you on edge.

Deep down you knew that it wasnt true,that you mother really wasnt coming back.Your eyes began to water,a few tears rolling down your cheeks.What the fuck were you gonna do?There was no knowing if she would pay the bills from Italy or if you would lose your house and everything you owned because of her.You let out a muffled sob,covering your mouth with your hand.Topper heard,running out of the kitchen.

 “Hey,whats wrong?Is it about Rafe?”He asked,kneeling in front of you and grabbing you a paper towel to blow your nose.You shook your head,watching as he picked up your phone and read the message across the screen. “Its gonna be okay,I promise,okay?”He began to rub your back,wishing the Rafe or Kelce was here since he wasnt the best at comforting you.Rafe was best at cuddling and Kelce was best at talking and Topper preferred to just be emotional support. “No-no she’s not coming back and im gonna lose the house and im fucked!”You sobbed,his arms wrapping tight around you. “No,no you’re not.We’ll figure it out.”He answered,making the decision to call Rafe and Kelce to come and help with the situation.

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[starlesscitiess]

Hey chance what is your favourite water parks song

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO

yall better know by now that i could NEVER pick just one its just not fair okay

and i want to ramble so

my favourite songs from each waterparks album (+eps cause duh (not including 1 cause i havent heard it im sorry)) with explanations

lets go

airplane conversations

i was hiding under your porch because i love you 

i will admit this is purely for self-indulgent nostalgia reasons. it reminds me of fall out boy and fall out boy = 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 so yknow,,,,

S C R E A M I N G??? YES????

black light

night maps 

the opening is like ✨✨spooky✨✨ i love it sm

“shouldacouldawouldbeenthelastonesto bleedthefuturewhOoOOaAa”

awsteb,,,,,, voi cE ,, pr e t  t 

im a natural blue 

this is just a no brainer its so gOOD I,,,,, REEEEEEE 

i love the guitar smmmm

“i know that not everybody wants to be different, but this is getting riDICULOUS”

hehe futurey vibe w the lil bleep bloop noises

cluster

mad all the time

its just,, such a mood,, tired all the time? mad all the time? i dont feel lucky in here buried in my head? i feel most safe in my bedroom? so keep out of my room cause i think ive seen enough of you today??? same

would you believe me if i said the “ah ah”s werent part of the reason? no? yeah neither would i

it feels like exactly what its trying to express which is brilliant 

g u i t a r (god bless geoff wigington)

“oH wOah (wait shit)”

pink

the whole first verse is just,,,, perfect

chorus. also perfect

more electronicky beep boop :D

THE BUILDUP??? BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND CHORUS???? YES???

dubsteppy bit 🥺🥺🥺

lil tiny quiet bit 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

crave

the drUMS (gOD BLESS OTTO WOOD???)

maybe just a lil bit cause of the music video 

gimme that blessed geoff singing content fuck yeah ill slorp it up 😩

THE ONE GUITAR BIT TOO???? LIKE SORRY AWSTEN UR TAKING A BIT OF A STEP BACK FOR THIS ONE SONG

double dare

gloom boys

maybe just a lil bit cause of the mv too,, (lord knows im obsessed with that fucking “slow down jellybean” line)

THE GUITAR??? ICONIC

BASS??? ALSO ICONIC

its just so goddamn catchy f u c k

i ADORE the way the chorus like s o a r s in a way i could never capture like yes u go u funky lil dyed hair man

“on my ceiling,,,, yEAH-”

in fact dont even ask me to pick a lyric theyre all gorgeous

stupid for you

listen,,, we know how that relationship ended up but look me in the eye and tell me this isnt just the cutest fucking thing ya ever did hear????

THIS IS AWSTENS FUCKING MOMENT OKAY I HAVE NEVER BEEN DISAPPOINTED BY ANY PERFORMANCE OF STUPID FOR YOU EVER

seriously i wish someone wouldve written this for me it just 🥺🥺🥺

GET THEM HIGH NOTES FUCK YEAH

ALSO??? VOCAL??? RUNS????

i am literally in love w the music video so i mean

royal

the drums are actually amazing help

THE CHORUS SO CATCHY FUCK YEAH-

“cause i worked myself to death, dont believe me ask geoff” *points to geoff* 🥺🥺🥺

RELATABLE AS FUCKKKKKKKK

nananananananana nananananananana

jfc ive already written so much

entertainment

11:11 

WHEN THE DRUMS START THAT IS LIKE A WHOLEASS SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE RIGHT THERE

this is such a great song to be sad to????

nostalgia for absolutely no reason levels are off the charts-

not warriors

i just love the way it starts it makes me so happy

this has some of the best lyrics ive like ever heard (yes im biased and what of it)

“but hey for what its worth, i think you saved my life” we just gonna ignore how accurate that is

haha nice reference to,,, your own songs,,

its just? so pure???

we need to talk 

its boppy but like in a sad way yknow??

“cause you shine brighter than morning... at least i thought you did”

the,,, th e ,, l i dd, ol g i g,,, th, e g i gg, le,,,,,,,

“fuck me” idk why i think thats so funny but it is

fandom

dream boy

actually just slaps. 10/10

but also?? the lyrics?? discussing an unhealthy expectation from fans that is built completely on each individual fans emotional needs and is therefore unlikely to be fulfilled for everyone??? A+ i love it

another example of the song sounding like exactly what its trying to express. its almost overproduced, larger than life, built to sound almost fake just like what its trying to condemn through sarcasm, especially in the video. incredible. love it. 

i felt younger when we met

“i said i loved you to death/so i must be dead” is such a gutpunch of an opener. hits you right away

the entire chorus is just great

HOO BOY THE PRE-CHORUS. THE F U C KIN G-

again an amazing song to be sad/have a mental breakdown to no i dont speak from experience what do you mean

the transition into cherry red is fucking genius okay

high definition

where do i even start

its just so perfect. relatable even if youve never experienced the exact thing hes referring to. honest, understated, emotional, heartbreaking. 

every single time you listen to it a different line hits you

yet another song to cry to

awsten was not lying when he said this was the best song hes ever written

feels like holding a vigil for yourself. 

overall just... perfect 

anyway that was probably way too long and annoying and you probably wont read all of it but like,,, goddamn i needed to ramble. thank you soooooo much for the ask and have a wonderful day 💜🥺

[kitashimei-chan]

Love with a robot

WARNING:Boy x boy,Cursing,some sad scenes,cringe,18+ scenes,pic are not my mine credit to the rightful owner

Pov-your micheal and Ennard is super jealous of your friend Mason,you were hanging with him all week and didnt relize that Ennard was getting jealous,and you had to find a way to make him happy again,and you know exactly what he wants you to do.

Enjoy;)

You were with ennard at home watching tv when suddenly your phone rang,you picked it up and saw it was an unknown number,you answered it and heard a familiar voice

???-Hello?can i speak to micheal please?

You were so surprised,you jumped of the couch exicited leaving ennard with a confusing look

° Note from Author °

Ok so Ennard is now a human because i magically made him like that and i will be calling him Noah from now on ok back to the story.

Noah-Whats wrong Eggs?

Micheal-OMG!MASON?!

Mason was happy as well to here you on the phone and you guys began to talk and before you knew it you left Noah on the couch with a puzzled look on his face,but you didnt relize because you werent in the room,Noah let out a sigh and continued to watch tv while you were upstairs chatting and laughing with mason

Mason-So uhh wanna meet up mikey?

Micheal-ARE YOU KIDDING ME OFCOURSE!but...

Mason-but what?

Micheal-i-i dont want to leave noah here

Mason-oh...he can come i guess

Micheal-Yay thanks Mason

Mason-meet you at the park at 8:00

Micheal-ok

With that you both hanged up you told your hot-I mean you told noah😅the news and he got ready too you both left the house and went to the park to meet mason

At the park:

Mason-oh micheal your here!

Micheal ofcourse i would for you old pall!

Noah pov-Is this the person who eggs was talking to on the phone? Does he like eggs or something?Nah im overeacting

Mason-oh...is this your friend?

Micheal-not just a friend he's my boyfriend and his name is noah

Noah-hello...

Mason-hey...

Micheal-Well what first?

Noah-maybe we should get some boba-

Micheal-Maybe next time ok?

Mason-How about we go get icecream?

Micheal-Sounds good!

Noah-Well thats the first...you always love boba...now you want icecream with him...

Noah was so lost in his thoughts that you had to shout at him

Micheal-NOAH!

Noah-......

Micheal-Tch! c'mon...

You saw the look on noahs face and you felt very bad for shouting at him,but because you havent seen your friend in a long time you didn't remeber about what just happened,noah was silent all the way while you and mason were chatting

Mason-hey theres an icecream truck!

Micheal-Race you Mason!

Mason-No fair!

Before mason chased after you he glared at noah with a death stare,then he started to chase you

Noah pov-what did i do.....i was just silent....

Noah got his icecream after you and mason,Noah sat on a different bench while you sat on a bench with mason and you didnt even remember that Noah was there,Noah was silent and he didnt eat the ice cream instead he gave it to a crying kid and sat back on the bench waiting for you to say something,but you were talking to mason,while mason was giving noah a death stare ,he got annoyed with his staring

Noah pov-Fuck this shit

Micheal-Noah were are you going?

Noah-...

Noah pov-You dont even call me babe anymore...your not the eggs i used to know

Noah didn't answer you instead he stormed off not even looking back at you

Mason-dont worry mikey he'll be fine

Micheal-if you say so...

You continued talking to Mason while Noah was bubbling up with anger in his head,he strayed away for a long time penetrating on his thoughts

Noah pov-EVER SINCE THAT FUCKING BASTARD CAME EGGS STARTED TO IGNORE ME!HE KEEPS FUCKING GLARING AT ME KNOWING THAT HES MAKING ME SO MAD TO SEE HIM TOUCHING MY BOYFRIEND!......Am i jealous?Eggs even ignores what his favourite things are just for him,does....does eggs love him?am i not perfect for you eggs?DO I DESERVE TO BE HURT!YOUV'E BEEN IGNORING ME FOR THE PAST DAY YOU NEVER EVEN STOPPED TO RELIZE HOW SAD AND MAD I AM!

Noah began to cry on a bench alone letting every inch of his sadness out in one go. Meanwhile your with mason and you got worried and decided to look for him but Mason grabbed your arm

Micheal-Mason let go im going to look for Noah

Mason-he's fine mikey theres nothing to worry about-

Micheal-Thats easy for you to say because you dont have a girlfriend now let me go im going to look for noah-

Just then noah came back after rounds and rounds of crying you push off masons arm and you rush to noah but just about you were about to hug him,he pushed you off

Noah-not now..

Micheal-but...

Noah-its late we should be heading home

Micheal but i wanna stay a little longer

Noah-you do but not me

Micheal-but noah-

Noah-Are you coming or not

Micheal-I-I...

Noah-then walk home by yourself...

Micheal-...

Noah-im going home...

You watched noah walk off while you and mason were just standing there,you told Mason youd see him tommorow and ran off to catch up with noah. This continued for a week straight and it was now friday

Micheal-hey noah...want to come with me and meet mason..

Noah-no..

Micheal-babe whats wrong with you?you havent talked to me in almost a week

Noah-it's nothing go hang out with your friend..

Micheal-*sigh*

You went infront of noah and sat on his lap facing him and you could almost feel noahs hornies enter your body,Noah chuckled and you could feel his hand going in your shorts

Noah-dont do this eggs your gonna regret~

You turned him on and you know you have to along because you cant blame yourself for being so attached to mason that you completely forgot about your hot boyfriend,you ubottoned his shirt and then noah pinned you to the couch

Micheal pov-Omg hes so strong,his strength feels so good in this position

Micheal-wait before you take away my walking priviligies

Noah-hmm?~

His voice was so deep and strong you almost nosebleeded

Micheal- ♡go as hard as you can!♡~

Noah-you wish is my command~

° Note from Aythor°

Want a little sneak peek?

Yes?Jeez ya'll are nasty but here is your request and i did my best to find yall a pic okay so please dont shame(=~=)

You coudn't stop moaning through out your sex rounds with Noah,he was such a good top and he would harder everytime u called him "Daddy"

Micheal-Aaah~,mmmm~

Noah-*Chuckle*i love your moans~

Micheal-D-Don't t-t-tease m-me

Noah-look at you,enjoying it too much~

Micheal-I-I mmmmm~

Noah-i bet you never felt so good before

Micheal-Aaaaah~H-H-Harder D-Daddy~

Noah-You might regret this but as you wish

In the middle of your hardcore sex your phone rings and Mason was on it

Micheal-L-Leave it p-please

Noah-Why~

Micheal-B-Because i-i dont w-want you s-stop

Noah-aw baby~i didn't know you love me this much~

Micheal-y-you answered it didn't you

Noah-definetly

Noah answered the phone

Noah-Hello Bastard~

Mason-What do you want? Weres micheal

Noah-oh you mean eggs~

Mason-yeah where is he

Noah-he's busy~Isn't that right baby~

Micheal-y-yes daddy~♡♡♡

Mason-What the heck dude Micheals virgin-

Micheal-LISTEN HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD IF YOUR NOT GONNA SHUT UP ILL MAKE YOU SHUT UP NOW JUST LEAVE US ALONE!

Mason-....

Noah-bye~

Noah hanged up the phone on mason and turned his eyes to you who was trimbling on his cock and you were so weak,but you felt so good

Noah-you know i love you right~

Micheal-mhmm~

Noah-your cute

Micheal-Aaaaah~Aah~

Micheal pov-i-is this what it feels like t-to have sex with a robot it feels so good

Years later Noah and Ennard had two kids named Maya(girl)Emily(girl)

Thank you all for reading sorry if it was short

Bye!

°TheEnd°

[goblinmanifesto]

Ive already accidentally deleted this once so fucking kill me (I forgot to save it).

⚠️TW FOR ANXIETY, TOURETTES, SLIGHT SELF HARM⚠️

But this is my post for @doinmybesthere Mental Health Awareness May collab! I will be doing Bokuto Koutarou. To explain a bit, to cope with bullshit that is life, I accidentally made myself a coping mechanism that I loving refer to as the ‘Klaus Hargreeves‘ (if you know anything about that character, you already know where my mental state is) because I can’t remember what my therapist said the actual name for it was. To put it simply, it’s like overactive day dreaming. I act out and create scenarios in my head to comfort myself, most of the time using characters or real people as an enabler for the comfort I wish to gain. Side effects being; if caught, considered crazy, sometimes don’t realize I’m doing it which can lead to awkward situations, sometimes I fuck up what’s real and what’s not. So, in these little stories, I will be retelling scenarios I have created through this coping mechanism that relate to both Bokuto and my mental problems! Each will be labeled with what they deal with so you can skip the one that might trigger you. Enjoy and happy reading! (I WILL ALSO BE MENTIONING AND USING STIMMING) ((I will probably use this to make other fics like this in the future mentioning my other ~stuff~ but in the meantime this is all I want to do so enjoy!))

⚠️LAST TW⚠️

1. ~Anxiety, Self harm, Mentions of Stimming~ He should’ve been home an hour ago! I was pacing in the living room, shaking hands holding my phone. It was 7:13 and Koutarou was supposed to be home at 6:00. I was spiraling and I could feel it, but I didn't know what to do about it. Id sent him text after text, but he was yet to respond. I glanced at my cell, only stopping my frantic shuffling to focus my attention on reading the screen;

Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12] -Unread-

My eyes scanned the messages again, not leaving the blue screen until until my shin collided with the side of the coffee table. I hadn’t even realized I had started pacing again. I checked the texts I had sent to Akaashi as well, since I knew he was at that practice too, but I hadn’t gotten any responses from him either. Slipping my phone screen up onto the table I continued my pacing, not even processing when my finger nails found their way under my teeth, and how when they left my mouth to scratch at my neck or claw at my shirt, my teeth resorted to gnawing at my lip instead, tearing up the thin skin. All habits I was trying to kill but didn’t have enough brain power to focus on not doing them. My eyes constantly searched the driveway for the headlights of any car, any car at all, but they always came up with nothing. It was 7:24 when my phone struck with the sound of text, the bing of anticipation sent me diving for, and consequently almost dropping, my phone in an attempt to find out if it was Koutarou. It was!

Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12]

-Read-

Im so sorry!! Yes practice did end up running late! But something else happened and I

wasn’t able to text you! I’m not mad about

anything I promise!! What happened is also

minor and nothing to worry about and I’ll explain when I get home in about ten

[7:21] minutes!! I’m so sorry!! -Read-

I sighed, relieved, the weight on my chest and in my head dissolved and I felt like I could finally breathe again. Though, as I came down from my anxiety rush, I became aware of a lot of things all at once. The first was a good deal of pain. From knocking my leg into a table and pacing for over an hour, to bitten lips and nails, and my scraped neck. I groaned, I need to get a better handle on this.

But that wasnt important. Koutarou was okay and on his way home! I waited at the window, feeling a bit like a dog waiting on its owner (that was a kink joke yes), and leaped to the front door when I saw his car in the driveway. Throwing open the door, I pulled him inside the second I could get my hands on him and pulled him through the doorway. The moment he was inside, I shoved myself into his arms in a tight hug, so glad he was okay. He returned the hug and held me tightly, I let out a shuddering breathe and he let out comforting sounds I sometimes use to stim. “Hey, hey, hey, I’m so sorry to have you worry, it was about Akaashi! We were running extra practice with a handful of the other guys and I literally had half a text to you written out when he a spike to the face! I was the only one left with a car so I drove him to hospital! I’m so sorry you are so worried you sent like 15 texts! I’m so-“ I cut him short with a hand over his mouth since that was one of the only ways to get him to stop talking. “Kou, it’s okay, I understand, it just really scared me ‘is all-“ he pried my hand off his face but held it in his own.

”I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t apologize for it, whether I was in complete control of the situation or not! Which I was not, by the way, no control what-so-fucking-ever, I had four other guys in the car and one of them was bleeding and concussed, it was chaos!!” His eyes were wide and he went off on the stress of the situation and, for a moment, I forgot that it was 7:26 at night on a Thursday and I had a biology test in the morning, and that Koutarou just got home and I hadn’t even eaten yet and all the other things that werent right in the world. Everything was fine in that moment. But that ended when Koutarou took a good hard look at me. The redness and scratch marks on my neck, the bitten to bleeding finger nails, the small bruise forming on my shin, my blotchy face and my probably-way-too-red lips. He stopped dead in his words and I felt my eyebrows scrunch up.

“Whats wrong?-“

“You did the things again didn’t you?!” He sounded distressed and his broad shoulders sunk. Koutarous hands rubbed my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with the most concerned look I’d ever seen. He pulled me back to his chest again and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

7:46, Koutarou insisted on taking care of my ‘injuries’ since he was who I was having anxiety over anyway. I protested a little, but gave up when he gave me the baby-owl eyes.

First, he had wrapped bandaids on my fingers. Thankfully, they were black, and I made a comment on it was like a 2-second manicure just to hear him chuckle.

Then, Kou applied a moisturizer to my neck. “Kou, I can do this myself-“

”Nope! I insist!”

”I’m not a child-“

”Don’t care, I’m doing it so just shush up and let me do what I need to do!”

Next, he made me apply ice to my bruise even though it was tiny and caused by a damn two-foot-tall coffee table.

Lastly, he gave me chapstick. Again, wouldn’t let me do it myself, so I made several sarcastic remarks to make him blush, all working quite well. Koutarou had to tell me to stop giggling multiple times so I could stay still.

”Alright, are you done playing nurse?”

”Forgive me for wanting to take care of you!!” He stuck his tongue out at me with an audible “bleh!” and I cackled.

”You are forgiven, Nurse Bokuto.”

2. ~Tourette’s, Stimming~ My neck painfully popped when it jerked to the left, my tics had been bad all day and I no clue why. Could be exams, or the fucking toaster for all I knew. I hissed, rubbing at my neck and adjusting the water can I almost dropped, trying to continue about my Saturday.

It was obnoxious, really, having to me-proof everything around in case I end up kicking it, dropping it, or hitting it. My joints constantly cracking and snapping and jolting in the strangest ways at any given moment. Sometimes repeating what people say back at them in perfect mirror-like fashion. Though that last one can be kind of funny.

Clicking my toungue to make nice noises to try and stim the tic away, I returned back to my plants. I could feel them chuckling at me and, in that moment, I understood everything about Crowley from ‘Good Omens’.

I heard the door unlock in the other room and I put my can down as a precaution and peeked out of the doorway.

A moment later, Koutarou popped through the door after his morning jog. He called out; “Hey, hey, hey!” as a greeting.

I felt my hands go up behind my head and I thought Oh gods dammit, and then my jaw jutted forward in a very unattractive way and I repeated his phrase in the same manner as him, then immediately dropped, as my body decreed.

I groaned, looking up at him, who looked slightly bewildered at my little madness ritual. His hair laid flat on his head, he had chosen not to mess with it this morning, much to my delight, his amber eyes a little wide and his eyebrows raised. He was barely even in the house yet.

We just kind of stared at each other for a hot second before I awkwardly waved ‘hello’ and cracked a weird grin. He grinned back, his more pleasant than mine. Walking over, he opened his arms for a hug, and I accepted, since he wasn’t all that sweaty this time around, and it was the least I could do since he had to witness that.

Koutarou planted a kiss on the top of my head, cheering “Good morning!”

I muttered a response into his shirt.

“One of those days, huh?” I nodded.

“Coffee? I think we have muffins in the cabinet?” I nodded again and he lead me into the kitchen to set up some breakfast. It was 9:00 am on a Saturday after all. A weird Saturday, but watching Koutarou finagle through the cabinets, it couldn’t be that bad.

That is all for now! Have a wonderful day and I am going to sleep for three years see y’all (edited: June 18 2021, because I can’t spell)

[a-deadly-serenade]

overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way? 

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot. 

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember? 

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more. 

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to  aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting. 

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one. 

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content