#you win a fucking award im using that FOREVER

[sillygreenrat]

the brainrot consumed me once more. no i do not have answers they're just here

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have been volunteering in a secondhand bookshop for almost a year, and in this time, i have not been collecting any data at all but i do have some Vaguely Recollected Observations. i present to you all: books i am sick of seeing (and other stories)

any crime or thriller novel. any and all of them. i loathe crime and thriller and for no actual reason other than that we have so, so many crime/thriller books. there are always too many. we can build a tower out of all the books we have. we can make entire one-author displays out of certain crime authors.

particular crime books of note: the thursday murder club by richard osman, we always have that; the millennium trilogy by stieg larsson, we have like 5+ copies of the whole trilogy

there are always at least 4 eleanor oliphants in the bookshop at any given time

we get a lot of jeremy clarkson books. these seem to stay in the back forever, because nobody ever seems to shelve them, and i think this is very funny and based

i only ever see 2 different mark haddon books, but based on the frequency with which we get those two alone, i would like him to never write another book again thanks

no reader is reading the reader (it gets donated a lot)

NOBODY DONATES SCI FI

on the rare occasion that somebody does donate sci-fi, they always donate an absolutely massive collection. we still haven't shifted our massive collection of classic star trek novels. if these weren't on the shelf i think it would be empty

nobody buys romance, but everybody donates it

What Are These Vague Historical Looking Books About Girls And What Genre Are They? im obsessed with how little i know about the shipyard girls and yet they are always with us

sometimes you think a book is too weird to be sold. this is never true

when no-one else is looking, i toss scott adams books into the recycling. im not supposed to do this, our personal feelings about some books/authors aren't supposed to get in the way of things and usually books by People I Hate don't get sold anyway, but im not giving the dilbert guy a chance

fantasy is close to sci-fi in being a genre we Struggle to get donations for, but we have so much george rr martin that it keeps the shelves pretty full. thanks george!

some volunteers do not know the difference between young adult and children's

i cannot distinguish sometimes between general fantasy and young adult fantasy. i am always DMing people being like, is this YA?? do you know?? ?help

we never get enough chuck palahniuk

one time we got like 16 signed val mcdermid books and all of them were dedicated to mary and i don't know if mary died or if she had a breakup with val mcdermid's books

you can tell a lot about a person from the books being donated. sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad (especially when there's a lot of self-help books on a specific subject, i hope they got the help they needed), but a lot of the time it's fascinating

as per the above, you can never tell based on appearance what kind of books somebody is about to donate to you. it is always a surprise

i hate it when we have a whole series and somebody buys book 1 because then we're stuck with like. books 2-5 forevermore :(

that one time someone donated their entire massive full metal alchemist manga collection except it was missing volume 3

you can tell what books were either award-winning or popular based on what books you see the most of

WE'VE ONLY EVER HAD ONE COPY OF SPARE BY PRINCE HARRY CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT???

[jj-5656]

Always Here With;Diego Hargreeves

A/n: Aha, ha ha. Heyyyy so I maybe sort of had a huge wave of anxiety tonight and wasn’t doing too great. So, in a desperate effort to relieve some of what I was feeling I wrote all of this in one go. It really helped, and I hope it might help you. I’m being pretty vulnerable here but what the hell. Anyways, enjoy.

TW: anxiety/ mild anxiety attack/ all that scary stuff so pls don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable!

It’s too damn quiet, the dark sleepy room is without a sound. It’s killing you, because as you head rests on the cool pillow below you all you can hear is your heart pumping, pushing blood all throughout you and into your skull. Usually, the stillness of it all would soothe you. Not tonight though. Tonight your mind can’t seem to stop racing, mulling over moments in your life that you figure anyone else would have forgotten by now. It’s harder to breathe, your damn lungs simply can’t collect enough oxygen between breaths. Sometimes, you wonder if the good moments in life are worth still being around for when, all too often, anxiety slithers it’s way throughout your brain and worms into your body. Every limb, every loose hair, tingles with each beat of your heart and god damn it if it doesn’t stop you’re convinced you’ll yell out one desperate shriek that begs this feeling away.

The steady breathing accompanied with a careful shift beside you aids in the realization that you aren’t alone in this god-forsaken state. Diego sleeps soundly beside you, and you try to push down the raging envy you feel for someone being able to doze off in blissfull peace. Why can’t you drift off like everyone else, why can’t you be normal? The moisture welling in your eyes makes the panic increase, fuck you’re so sensitive. Chewing on the corner of your thumb by default, the thoughts are pushed to the side when he stirs. You lay back down as he wakes, hoping he’ll doze back off and he’s not burdened by your current state. The silence continues, the stillness of the once familiar, comforting room haunts you as you anticipate the continuation of his steady breathing.

“What’s wrong?” The soft words fizzle out into the air, and you’re not totally convinced he’s actually spoken until he turns on his side to look at you. Fuck.

“Hmm? Nothing, I jus-just cant sleep.” You might have been convincing if it weren’t for the pathetically shaky tone or the crack in your voice as you reply.

“You’re shivering, and you’ve been awake for the past 15 minutes.” Damn him and his light-sleeper ass. Oh, you really were shaking. How long has he been awake? Immediately, guilt consumes you and the dread of worrying him becomes suffocating. You’re a burden.

“Y/n.” The three rasp in his voice snaps you out of it once more. Sitting up and shifting uncomfortably, you wrack your brain for a reply that will convince him to leave you alone.

“I jus-I won’t stop thinking. It doesn’t stop Di, it never stops!” In an award winning attempt to reassure him, a hiccup escapes your body and you’re overcome with sobs as the emotion forces itself out of you.

Diego’s shooting up in a flash, shocked at your sudden outburst but immediately grabbing onto your hips in a panicked effort to ground you. Bring you back to him, shield you from every thought or worry that fills your mind so you’re safe. He has to protect you.

“H-hey, hey. Please don’t cry baby, I’m here. I p-promise.” Fuck, if all the times he’s internally begged to speak freely, he could really use it right about now. But the shock of your sudden outburst has imploded his nervous system. With a quick shake of his head, he relaxes himself in order to communicate. He needs to be calm. He needs to level with you.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please just go back to bed Diego. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Your quiet pleas shatter his heart into pieces. And he wishes more than anything you two could trade places.

“I’m not going anywhere. You can talk to me. Please baby, just talk to me.” He doesn’t know what he should do with his arms, debating whether or not you’ll feel overwhelmed by physical touch in your state. Your sniffle and shaken intake of breathe interuppts his thoughts.

“Im just so tired. So, so tired. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t think I can take it. I w-want everything to stop, it’s all moving so fast and I can’t fucking catch up! I’m tread-treading water Diego and I don’t know how long I can last.”

His eyes widen at your words, and he’s relieved you’re not facing him so you won’t be able to read his expression. Why hadn’t he known you were feeling this way? Had he pushed aside your body language, your attitude lately? Why didn’t he see you were in so much pain? All this time he was always alert for anything that could cause you physical harm. He’s seen enough shit to know this world is way too brutal for someone as good as you. But, despite protecting you from things on the outside, you were really being attacked from the inside. His stomach churns at the thought, and his arms wrap around you and pull you into his lap.

Your sobs falter at the embrace, and his tight hold on you brings a piece of you back to Earth. His warmth, his scent, envelopes your senses and weakens the the sobs escaping you.

Diego’s never been too good with words. And he so wishes he was able to communicate all the reassurances that are racing through his mind. Hopefully, his actions will successfully communicate all he’s trying to say.

“Is this okay?” You nod at his words, pushing your face further into his neck in an attempt to drown out the noise ricocheting through your mind.

“G-good. This is good.” You mutter, feeling soothed when you realize he’s slowly rocking you.

“Can you do me a favor and tell me one thing you see in the room?” He’s hesitant to ask, trying to remeber what his mom used to say when he’d become overwhelmed with his stutter.

“The-the photo of us on the b-bedside table.”

“Good, that’s good baby. That was your birthday last year. You looked so pretty in that dress, I’m pretty sure Klaus and Allison begged you to wear it.” Diego recalls, heart warming at the small giggle you let out through the sniffles and shaky breaths.

“How about one thing you smell?”

“Your body wash. It smells like...like cinnamon and a little bit of vanilla.” He smiles at your words, heart filling with adoration and pride for you. You’re doing so good for him.

“Okay, you’re doing awesome. Can you tell me one thing you feel?”

“Your heart beating...and your skin. You, I feel y-you.”

You’re relaxed now, and you shuffle impossibly closer to Diego as he hums softly. Blinking slowly, you notice how your eyelids start to droop as he continues softly swaying the both of you. Silence fills the room once more, but it’s warm. And it doesn’t feel so lonely or heinous as it did before.

“Thank you.” Your voice is so soft, and it sounds so little Diego longs to hold you forever. Not letting go so you never have to feel anything but peaceful. You deserve so much, he only wishes you’d realize you’re worth his entire world and then some.

“No need to thank me baby. I’m here, I’m always here.”

You’re filled with warmth, and you embrace the tranquility that finally consumes you. He’s here, and he’s not going anywhere.

[princesssarcastia]

Thoughts on Star Trek AOS? (And do you think Kirk was on Tarsus?)

i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about star trek aos, so buckle up.  brace yourself.

star trek aos is a terrible disaster and i love it SO MUCH.  for me, star trek 2009 is still in that class of unreasonably pleasing movies like the mummy or stardust or jumanji: welcome to the jungle.  what they are isn’t exactly top notch but you love them for being exactly what they are.

star trek aos is a star-studded fucking phenomenal cast of some of the best actors working today, which makes up for the very inconsistent writing and unfortunate low-level current of sexism.

literally where would i be today if chris pine could not make faces Like That. i honestly couldn’t tell you.

overall, I have quite a few bones to pick with JJ Abrams for setting up a star trek universe that is less Wacky Space Utopia adventures with liberal political commentary ranging from unsubtle to im-hitting-you-over-the-head-with-my-opinions-like-they’re-a-brick—

to this kind of overtly militarized action-hero adventure porn where one white man saves the universe from Scary People Who Don’t Look Like Us And Are Crazy.  I also don’t appreciate what they did to Jim Kirk, turning him into this womanizing self-centered bastard who has to be in charge.  I REALLY don’t appreciate the casual misogyny, what with the last of rank stripes for women and the gratuitous sex-ed up scenes and the way that Amanda Grayson gets fridged for man-pain and and and— you get the picture.

Or at least, that’s what they tried to do to jim kirk.  and god fucking bless chris pine for being able to make facial expressions, because i firmly believe if pretty much almost anyone else had played Jim Kirk as written by JJ Abrams, that’s exactly what he would have been.

But because of chris pine’s acting, instead, most of the AOS fandom and I realized/decided that this “womanizing” version of jim kirk actually really really hates himself so much, most likely for trauma reasons. 

we took that shit and ran with it and never really stopped.

zachary quinto is also like god tier casting.  unfortunately the writers for the first two movies mostly gave him Anger as a primary motivator, which like, is not exactly how I would interpret Spock at all, but quinto played this Angry Spock so so well.

ZOE SALDANA PLAYS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, NYOTA UHURA, PERFECTLY AND THAT’S ALL I’LL HEAR ON THE MATTER.

john cho should be cast in everything ever he’s amazing and I love seeing him.  this man has the range. hikaru sulu is the backbone of this fucking ship.  this man wins the big damn hero award every single movie. 

i still miss living in the same world as anton yelchin. i really, really do.

I also have found family feelings all over these movies, where these baby versions of iconic characters from the sixties are brought together too early to witness too much fucking trauma.  harry potter references aren’t exactly in vogue right now, but there’s this one piece from a—well, actually, its a harry potter reference in an mcu fic i read years ago, now that i think about it, but anyway:

it was something like, there are some things you can’t go through with a person—like that mountain troll in harry potter—without becoming friends for life.  there are some crucibles that will bind you together forever.  and awful as it is, I think Nero and the Vulcan genocide were the AOS crew’s mountain troll.  there’s no going back or separating, after that.

also I feel like there’s a ton of competence porn in this trilogy that i deeply, deeply enjoy.

star trek: 2009 and into darkness are both grimdark male power fantasy bullshit that only accidentally hits all the right buttons for me.  I love them dearly but i know EXACTLY what they are, thank you.

star trek: beyond is a delightful movie with no real plot where our favorite crew are finally Adults With A Modicum Of Common Sense And Stability, instead of Disaster Children Angsting All Over The Place, and they get to save the universe with the power of excellent rock music and friendship. how cool is that?!?  i wanna give simon pegg a high five for making this movie.

on a more meta note, what I find kind of satisfying about these movies is that—for all his many faults that i’m always happy to expound upon—JJ Abrams actually went for it.  He Did That.  He just made his own brand new timeline, killed jim kirk’s dad, then gave him an abusive uncle/step-dad, then literally destroyed one of the founding planets of the Federation, then he, in an iconic fashion, switched Jim and Spock’s places in the infamous “wrath of khan” death scene, so instead Spock gets to watch Jim die. 

and you know what? I can forgive a lot of bullshit for that kind of poetic angsty fanfic plot detail. 

every time uhura says, “an alternate reality,” in star trek 2009 just gives me chills.  every time she says it, you feel the weight of sixty years of history and legacy sitting on these people’s shoulders, the weight of arguably one of the most popular TV shows of all time.

imagine, living in a new world you’re aware isn’t the one that was supposed to be.  imagine that!

oh! and on the question of tarsus:

what I think is probably true irl: JJ Abrams has never thought that far ahead in his life.  correct me if i’m wrong, but hadn’t he.....not even watched star trek.........when he made these movies............like lol i’d bet you this man didn’t even really know Tarsus was a thing.  And even if he did, I don’t think he thought it was part of the new canon he was creating.  AOS is much more self-contained than the serialized universe the original star trek was, so I don’t think that AOS was intended to encompass all those things, like tarsus, that we as a fandom like to obsess over.

what I personally enjoy: i love me some AOS fic that explores the ridiculous amounts of trauma that comes from living through a genocide.  I think that, given we all decided AOS Jim Kirk hates himself, and engages in a shit ton of self-sabotaging and destructive behavior to cope, it’s a reasonable jump to think that at least some of that comes from some survivor’s guilt bullshit from Tarsus.  And honestly, hit me up if you want recs for this, because boy do I have them.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no one does angst quite like AOS!Jim Kirk.

what I believe wholeheartedly: this is like Schrödinger's Plot Point, okay, it both exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously.  it’s easy to read tarsus into some of jim’s behavior, and it’s easy to read none of it in, and both of those choices are valid.  go with your gut, go with what makes you happy, go with what you think makes sense.  This is where fandom lives, in these little details that fall through the cracks.

anyway WOW did I talk a lot.  those are at least some of my star trek thoughts.  i do have others, but i’ve expounded on them before on this blog, and y’all don’t need me to repeat myself

ask me my thoughts on ______

[yakuzacasual]

I look forward to your updates a little too much lol would you be down to write about daigo encountering a person who he was interested in when he was in his little fuckboy phase that didn't really give him much attention. They don't have to end up together, I just think it would be funny if he felt embarrassed of any advances he made now that he's chairman and realizes his phase was not the best haha (I hope im being clear if not you can ignore<3)

PREFACE

How does it feel to be living with a brain as big and powerful as yours, dear? Because this request is just.......... *smashes little fist against a wall* This is the true perfection. I don’t think I’ve ever heard an idea as maginificent as this one and I can imagine nothing that may top it anytime soon. Getting to write from the perspective of Daigo, especially the emo one, especially with a bit of retrospect, DAMN I AM LIVIN LIVES RN THIS IS WHAT I WAS MADE FOR.

Did I just impulse write the whole thing despite the fact that I was planning to go to bed early? Maybe. Do I regret my choice? *satisfied ape noises* Am I proud of it? Fuck yes.

Now, back to being serious. I sincerely love you for this one. Please, I beg thee, do come back and leave anot!her one some time. For now I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and have a fantastic day!

BABY BOSS DAIGO FACING HIS SHAMEFUL PAST

Back in the days of his brazen youth, Daigo used to catch the eyes of many sorts of people. His broody demeanor attracted mainly women, but he could also recall quite a few men from these times as well. Many of such memories are just a blur for him nowadays, replaced by forever vivid scenes of companions dying for his cause and the Tojo clan slowly but surely crumbling in his hands with each passing year. There is but one recollection that stayed forever clear throughout the years, safely tucked away in the depths of his mind.

It was a rainy night, one of those that he remembers happened way too many times that month, when he found himself piss drunk and mindlessly staggering through the many alleyways of Kamurocho. Bruised knuckles tucked away in the warmth of his absolutely ridiculous, puffy jacket, eyes barely focused on the road ahead of him. He tried to escape the flashing neon lights and unbearable buzz of the entertainment district, seeking solace within the dirty streets forgotten by the normal citizens and gods alike. It’s where the dark deeds take place and maybe that’s what he was looking for. Another fix to keep him amused, something that would wake him up inside again for however fleeting a moment he could get. 

The details of how he ran into you are slightly fuzzy, albeit he likes to think that this slightly bloody visage of himself he still remembers seeing in the puddle was him kicking some asses. Not getting his own handed to him. In this state, he somehow finds you with his blurry eyesight. You sit on a park bench in what feels like the edge of the world, but is just a place slightly farther away from the ever beating heart of Kamurocho, covered by the shade of grandiose buildings falling apart at the seams. Maybe it’s a cig in your hand, maybe a bottle of whisky or maybe nothing at all - whatever it was that drove him to approach you was a suffocating feeling that you’re both somehow in deep shit. The features of your face are so detailed still. The shape of your lower lip, the frown of your brow and the way you looked at him as he took a place on the other side of the bench. He still remembers it all, somehow.

Surprisingly enough, there is not much to this story from that point onwards. Or so he has been trying to convince himself until that one fateful day, a very weird day. It’s just him running the usual Tojo errands when outside of the window of his limo he spots a face so familiar it causes him to instantly get a splitting headache right where he sits. You seem to even lock eyes with him through the darkened glass, as you calmly sip your beverage, enjoying the nice weather in the outside seat of a decent looking cafe. Under the guise of getting himself some well deserved coffee, Daigo slips away from his attendants and right into the other seat right opposite your own. The movement is not quite as smooth though. Just looking at his nervous stare you could tell he is out of his element.

Of course, you recognize him instantly. It would be hard not to, really. He may look better in a suit and the opinions on his slicked back hair may vary, but this is still most certainly him. The same square chin, the same tired lines visible on his face. Daigo Dojima has graced you with his presence. The clothes may make the man, but they won’t change who he was. And you? You know way too well who he was.

For him it does take a longer way to recognize you but he definitely does and, by gods, he immediately regrets it. That’s it. That’s the lost part of the puzzle he never wanted finished. The memories of days long gone, when he used to hit on you mercilessly after that one night in the park, when you showed him nothing beyond what would be expected from human compassion and yet he latched onto that like a poor puppy seeking validation in places, that could never offer what he needed. In retrospect he clearly sees in your eyes, both current and the ones he remembers, what his younger self did not understand at the time. Absolute and complete lack of interest. Which, considering who he is now, is quite impressive of you. Then again if he knew a chairman of a renowned yakuza family back when they were young and relentlessly pestering him for affection he did not have for them? Well, he can kind of guess he’d be much like yourself in this situation.

His blood may run cold, but his cheeks are flaring red as he remembers the god awful pickup lines he tried on you back then and how darn angry he was that not even his award-winning emo style that made ladies swoon at his feet had next to no effect on your, how he used to think about it, stone cold heart. In reality it was just you being reasonable and him being an absolute dumbass. He can even recall Kiryu giving him the biggest tonguelashing ever for how he used his influence in the Tojo clan to keep tabs on you for like a week. Now, he wishes Kiryu would be here to beat his sorry ass right back to the hospital, maybe cause a proper concussion to make him forget all this downright embarrassing stuff he has done as the most shameful person to ever exist on earth.

Daigo Dojima’s redemption arc starts now. He will make absolutely sure to somehow make it up to you, whatever you want of him. He is dead set on showing you the tremendous amount of growth he’s done since the last time you saw him. If it’s a restraining order you want, so be it. But if, by any chance, you do wish to get to know him better and let him redeem himself as the man he is now… Well, who knows. You may just gain the most powerful ally, a trusted friend or maybe even more.

[kpop---scenarios]

The Comeback

Idol! Wonho x Reader 

Warning: Smut 

Commissioned by: @blueblondewonhoishot​

Word Count: 3.4k 

A/N: hope you enjoy!! 

*Monsta X vocalist Shin Wonho leaves group pending rumors* You stare at the headline that had just popped up on your phone. You knew you needed to call Wonho immediately, but you couldn't stop staring in disbelief at the headline. You had known Wonho for years, before he even joined Monsta X and you knew how bad he wanted to become an idol and how much he loved it. This made no sense to you. You were in complete shock. You and Wonho had met in elementary school. He had stuck up for you when some bullies had been harassing you. The two of you had become inseparable, Wonho always looking out for you. He very quickly became your best friend, the one you would go too with any problem, exciting news, anything. Even boy troubles. When the two of you began dating other people in high school, both your partners always became insecure about your friendship, even when you explained multiple times you two were just friends. Wonho's girlfriends would glare at you and do anything in their power to somehow get rid of you. They would whine to him about you, make up lies, the works. It never worked, he always chose you. Your boyfriends on the other hand always felt threatened by him, and accused you of cheating with him. That was never the case, everything was completely platonic between you too, all through high school, you were only friends. Once the two of you graduated you began to see him differently. You remember the day perfectly. You two had gone out to get ice cream the summer after graduation. You sat across from him on a park bench, laughing at him that his ice cream was melting all over the place. You smiled as you watched him try to lick it all up as it spilled all over his hands, That made your heart flutter, even when you didn't want it too. You weren't sure how to handle your new found lust and love for him. In high school he had always told you it would be weird if you two ever did anything, especially when other people asked about your relationship.  He always was adamant that you were nothing more than friends. Just friends. Always just friends. It broke your heart that he would never see you like that. However, little did you know, he had been harboring feelings for you since your senior year of highschool but was terrified you wouldn't feel the same, or that he ruined his chances by always saying you two were only friends. It wasn't until one summer night, the two of you drinking to celebrate his news of passing all his auditions at Starship Ent. You were so proud of him.  For years he had wanted to become an idol and you were honestly so happy that his dreams were finally coming true. But that would mean he would be leaving you in Daegu. Although the commute wasn't far, you both knew he would be far too busy for regular visits. It was the night of your celebration that you had decided to tell Wonho how you felt. You couldn't have him leave without knowing the truth, regardless of the outcome. "I have to confess something." You say, turning to face him. "I'm all ears." He smiles. "I love you." You blurt out. "I'm in love with you." Wonho stares at you with wide eyes. He quickly chugs the rest of his drink, still not saying a word. "I'm sorry. I should have just kept it inside." You whisper, putting your face in your hands. "No no." He begins, lifting your chin."I love you too, I have been in love with you since our senior year." He whispers. Hesitantly he leans in, pausing to make sure it was okay. You smile, grabbing his face to press your lips to his. Within seconds it went from gentle to passionate and needy. Wonho pulls you forward, closer to him. You lift your leg over him, placing yourself in his lap to straddle him. Wonho slips his hands under your shirt, gliding them across your back. Soon after he begins to tug at the hem of your shirt, wanting to take it off. You happily oblige, breaking the kiss with a smile and lifting your arms so he could lift it over your head, throwing it somewhere in the room. He reaches behind you again, this time to unclasp your bra, slowly sliding it down your arms, also throwing it somewhere in the living room. "God you're beautiful." He groans, cupping your breasts before leaning forward to latch his lips around your nipple, gently sucks. You throw your head back, letting out a loud moan as he moves his mouth over to your other nipple. As he continued to suck, you began moving your hips, grinding yourself on his already hard cock. Fuck you were so glad you were wearing shorts. "Baby that feels so good." He moans. You smirk at him as you slide yourself off his lap, getting onto your knees. You unbuckle his belt and then undo the button of his pants. He lifts his ass off the couch, helping you to be able to slide his pants and boxers down. You lick your lips as you look at his large, veiny cock standing straight up. You grip his cock with your hand before leaning forward and opening your mouth. First you tease him, onl gently sucking his tip. "Please baby." He begs. You happily take more of him into your mouth, he automatically bucks his hips, shoving his cock down your throat. Uou gag as he begins fycking your mouth, thrusting his cock harshly. A few minutes later, he stops all movement. "I'm going to end up cumming." He groans, sitting up on the couch. "Come ride my cock." He smirks. "Now." You stand up quickly, sliding off your shorts before straddling him again. You grab his cock to line him up with your entrance before you sink down onto him, slowly. You sit for a minute, adjusting to his size as he stretches you out. You begin rocking your hips, getting used to it. Once you do, you begin to bounce yourself on his cock. "Fuck baby, you ride my cock so well." He groans. Wonho leans forward, taking your nipple into his mouth again, sucking harder while pinching your other nipple. The way his cock hit your G-spot, the way your clit was rubbing against him and the way he played with your nippled had your orgasm coming fast. Your eyes rolled back into your head, your hands gripped his shoulders, your nails dragging down his chest, leaving scratches. Your body shook as your orgasm took over your body, pulsating through you. It had lasted longer than any other orgasm you had. "Fuck." You cry out, your body shuddering and exhausted. Wonho sat up, never taking himself out of you and laid you on your back on the couch before quickly thrusting himself in and out of you. "Shit I'm close." he groans, his thrusts becoming sloppier. "Where do I cum?" He asks, a little panicked. "Cum in my pussy." You moan. "I'm on the pill." You tell him to clarify. "Jesus, fucking shit." He cries out, his warm cum spills inside you. He lays there for a second, still inside you as he catches his breath. He pulls out of you, cum begins to drip out of you, making him moan and become semi hard again. "Fuck that's hot." He groans before getting up to grab a cloth to clean you up with. You both lay in his bed, not saying a word, but you're the one to break the ice a few minutes later. Turning to him, you ask "what does this mean? What are we now?" "I mean I want to be with you, of course. But would you be willing to do long distance, especially during tours and what not?" He asks. "I'm in." You smile. "Im all in."   And you were. You stayed with Wonho through the stressful time on No Mercy, through losses and wins at award shows, interviews  - everything. You consoled him when he called you in the middle of the night, crying because he just wanted to come home and see you. You surprised him when you could and he was around. You never complained about your lack of communication or how long he was away for, you supported him in his dream 100%. The long distance between the two of you became annoying and hard after a year. Phone calls, Skype and the occasional visit just wasn't enough anymore. Eventually you asked to transfer to Seoul, not telling Wonho in case you didn't get it. But you did. The second you were off the phone with your boss, you called him. "Guess what!" You yell the moment he answers. "You love me?" He guesses. "True, but not what I was going to say. "Tell me what then." He chuckles. "I got transferred to Seoul!" You yell. He says nothing. "Babe?" Again nothing but some sniffling. "I'm so excited baby, I miss you so much." He says. "I love you." "Forever and always." You smile. "I'll be there at the end of the month." ** The next few weeks the two of you text back and forth all the dirty things you wanted to do to each other when you were finally together again. You both made a pact that neither of you were going to get off and cum until you were together again, no matter how much you both wanted to. One week before you were set to move, Wonho called you on Skype. Upon were wearing a low cut tanks top with short shorts to bed and you knew it was going to destroy him not to have you. "Hi babe." You say, seeing him on the screen. "Oh baby, why?" He groans, his head in his hands. "What?" You ask innocently, knowing full well what he was talking about. "I'm already so hard baby, this is torture." He whines. You had to admit, you were dying for his cock and a release. "Let me see your pussy baby." He asks. You couldn't say no to that, you needed this as much as he did. You angle the camera down a little, letting him watch you slide down your shorts. "Tell me what you want me to do." You whisper. "Spread your legs." He demands. You do as you're told. "Now spread your lips baby, lemme see." He moans. You do as he asks, giving him an excellent view of your soaking pussy. "Fuck how I wish I could ram my cock into you." He breathes. You see him on your screen, watching him slide down his sweatpants, his cock springing free. "Now what?" You ask. "Stick your fingers inside yourself." He tells you. You slowly slide three fingers in your pussy, pulling them out and pushing them back in. "Good girl." He groans, stroking his cock. "How does it feel?" He asks. "So good, but not as good as your fingers baby." You moan. "That's right baby." He huffs. "Now rub your clit." He tells you. You move your other hand in between your lips, gently rubbing yourself while your fingers continue to move in and out of you. "I don't think I'm going to last long." You cry out, your pace quickening. "Fuck yourself faster." He demands. You move your fingers on your clit and inside you quicker, your orgasm coming fast. "I'm going to cum." You scream, your orgasm hitting you hard. "Fuck." Wonho cries, slowly pumping his cock as his cum squirts onto his hand and stomach. You sit up, watching him clean himself up and you pout. "I wish I could lick it up." You groan. "Soon baby, one more week." He smiles. "I love you." "Forever and always." You say. "See you soon." "Yes you will, sleep tight baby." He smiles before disconnecting. The last week was the longest week ever, but it finally came to an end after what felt like an eternity. It was finally moving day, you happily packed your things into your car, ready to make the trip to your love and best friend. It had been a hard year with only seeing him on occasion, and you knew this would be so much better. ** It was years later and Monsta X was thriving in the US, and everything seemed perfect. You and Wonho were still as in love with each other as the day you both confessed. You had taken the day off work, just needing a day to yourself, sitting in bed and scrolling through your phone, and Wonho was at dance practice, despite having only gotten home a few days ago from promotions. And that's when it popped up. The headline announcing Wonho's decision to leave the group. You didn't understand, you were shocked. You opened the article, and it had said someone had revealed that years ago he had smoked pot. Are you fucking kidding? That's the lamest fucking reason for this shit. You couldn't believe this bitch had the audacity to try and ruin his career and for what? That morning Wonho had spent hours with his manager, the CEO of Starship, his publicist and everyone else who could try to help him. "I think I should leave. Take a break." Wonho sighs. "That might be for the best." Everyone agrees. "We need this to blow over and then get you back with your group. Just be patient and wait it out." His publicist tells him. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do, but he figured that it was the best for his group. He didn't want them to attract any negative attention. He left the building around lunch time, wandering around unsure of what to do with himself. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to answer or deal with your questions. He turned off his phone, just needing time to think. Eventually, hours later he went home. You were just about to call him when you heard the front door unlock and then slam. You crawled out of bed and headed for the living room where you saw Wonho sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. "Babe.." you begin. "What happened?" ** You spent the next few hours trying to discuss what had happened and you could tell that he was becoming more and more irate about the entire situation, refusing to tell you anything. You just didn't understand. "I don't get it. Why won't you tell me?" You sigh. "You don't have to fucking get it Y/N. Just fucking drop it." He snaps. "I'm not going to drop it. You need to tell me what happened." You protest. "Back the fuck off. I'm not talking about this anymore!" He yells, grabbing his coat before slamming the door, leaving you wondering what just happened. For the next few weeks Wonho avoided you like you were some kind of virus. If you walked into the apartment, he left. If you went to bed, he went to the couch. You tried texting him, calling him and even facetime. He ignored you. Finally one night you lost it on him. You managed to corner him in the kitchen and this time he didn't try to walk away. He could see the hurt and the pain on your face, the sadness in your eye's and he felt like the worst person in the world for treating you like this. He knew he had to tell you the secret he had been harboring, but he was worried even though he shouldn't be. You were understanding, but with the way he had treated you lately, you may not be. "You need to talk to me! You can't keep ignoring me and keeping me in the dark!" You cry. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to handle it myself, and I knew if I talked to you you'd try to get me to talk about it and get involved, but this was something i needed to do by myself and handle her by myself." He tells you. "Who was she?" You ask nervously. You never thought he would be one to cheat, but then again do you ever truly know someone? "She was just someone who ended up backstage alot. She flirted with me, and tried to get me to go back to her hotel room. The last time was a few days before the story leaked. After practice she managed to slip in the room while I was alone, working on choreography." He tells you. He looks nervous for the next part, he sighs while avoiding eye contact. "She showed up in a trench coat, and when she took it off she was in lingerie." He whispers. Tears slip down your cheeks as you assume the worst, it starts to get harder to breathe. "Did you cheat?" You whisper. "No baby, no no I didn't I promise." He assures you. "So why did you hide it?" You ask. "Because I thought I handled it. I was mean the last time, I assumed it worked and she would just leave me alone now. But instead she dug into my past, exposing shit." He says. "Is it true?" You question. "It doesn't matter. What matters is moving forward and figuring out what I'm going to do next." He sighs, his hand rubbing his forehead. You could tell this was destroying him. Being in Monsta X was a dream come true. He loved the other members. He loved all their fans. That was his life and he needed it back. Wonho and his team worked everyday in an attempt to bring him back into the group. Back to performances, promotions, interviews, but they all knew it would take time. Day after day, week after week, month after month, Wonho hoped that today would be the day. Today he would be able to rejoin the group. But it was never that day. He appreciated you trying to distract him, keeping his spirits up and just being there for him but he was still heartbroken. Wonho regularly went live to talk to his fans, and he couldn't believe the outpour of support he had. He spent time reading comments, checking twitter to see all the love. The billboards, the signs, the banners. Everything he saw fueled him more and more to get back to what he loved to do. He made a promise to never leave his fans, and he wasn't one to break promises. He fought tooth and nail, and finally he succeeded. ** 7 months after Wonho had announced his departure from the group, a new headline appeared. *Wonho rejoins Monsta X and fans couldn't be happier.* You look at him with a surprised face. You had known nothing about it, but you couldn't be happier for him. You jump on him, causing him to fall back on the bed as you tackled him, now straddling his lap. Leaning down, you place a small kiss on his lips. "Why didn't you tell me!?" You ask, lightly smacking his chest. "I wanted it to be a surprise." He laughs. "I'm so happy for you." You whisper, giving him another small kiss. Wonho wraps his arm around you, pulling your body against his more, deepening the kiss. He quickly rolls hou both over, making you now lay on your back, with him between your legs. "How happy are you?" You smirk, as he presses his already hard cock against your pussy. "I'm very happy." He says in a low growly whisper. "Mhm, I can tell." You laugh, bucking your hips to grind yourself on him. "Don't tease me baby, you don't know what I'll do to you." He warns you. "You can do whatever you want to me." You breathe. "Don't mind if I do." He smirks, wiggling his body down yours, pulling your pants down with him, his face between your thighs. You finally had your boyfriend back, and he was finally getting his comeback.

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 27

Chapter title: Clocks Tick and Phones Still Ring

A/n: ....yall im so sorry for how long this took and the fact that not only did it take forever but it fucking sucks. I hate this I'm sorry I can't just here I'm so sorry

First | Previous | Next

words: 2155

summary: Through troubling times Logans mind run wilds trying his best

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link  

Twenty minutes later...

Do you know what you are supposed to do when the love of your life sits pale and barely breathing in a room?

No Im genuinely asking

Because running out of the room and collapsing to sobs on your knees does seem valid however Logan just stood there. He stood there frozen, Barbara knew what to do. She ran to Pattons side, taking his cold hand, silent tears as she examines his soft face. Virgil emerges moments later, the family rule disposed of as he takes Patton's other side.  Roman took the end, and soon the room felt tight, he couldn't breathe.

He wanted to yell

Or cry

Or do anything remarkably human

But he just stood, nurses and doctors rushed by him, his friends talked in whispers of concern.

Why didn't he care?

He could hear the rest of them talking, questions fired at the nurses and doctors, sweet words of encouragement for a speedy and safe recovery for Patton. Telling them how much they care for him, but not Logan. In what seemed like minutes, the rest had decided to give Logan a moment. A moment for what? That was lost on him but alas the room fell quiet.

“This is your own fault, you understand that right?” He finally sets on speaking, not that anything would respond. Unless you count the steady monitor and the wheezes from the machines. “I'm not sure how many times I must clarify this but I'm not Liam. You can tell me things, you can trust me”

He scoffs, his arms crossed over his heart.

“None of us are Liam. You know I don't say ‘I love you’ ok?” He pushes, he can feel his nostrils flare. Do something Patton, respond. “I've only said it to my mothers and you” He glares, why was he just laying there. How dare he? “You took that from me!” He takes a second, breathing deep. “You knew...you knew this was going to happen. You have a will...its reasonable. You have two kids, a sister and assets at your disposal. But they showed it to me, they brought it to me”

He took his copy out, the crumpled and tear stained document felt too heavy.

“I, Patton Hart, residing at 1823 Millow Lane, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made.” Logan begins to read, his hands shake noticeably but he continues. “I leave minor children surviving me, my daughter Valerie and son Remus. I appoint as guardian of the person and property of my minor children my partner Logan Tolentino. He shall have custody of my minor children, and shall serve without bond. If he does not qualify or for any reason ceases to serve as guardian, I appoint as successor guardian my sister Barbara Hart.” He finishes, some small part of him almost hopes that Patton awakes. An explanation ready. “This was recent, you knew, you knew something was going on!” He shouts, he tries to recenter but he can't, everything is too much. How was he supposed to handle these things?

“Logan? Everything alright?” A knock allows him to remember he's here.

“M’fine” He lies, and soon it's just him once more. “You changed it, this was clearly recent because I know you. I know that it takes you forever to trust people...although looking back on this unfortunate event you don't trust me. How dare you do this? How dare you not tell me, how dare you turn away from and do this” He rips the paper, watching its remains crumple to the ground “It's not that I can't do it, or won't” He states “Its that I don't want to…” He approaches Patton, finding himself next to the pale faced man. “I don't want to do this without you” He breaks, the anger shatters as his hand meets Patton's cold touch. “Please Patton..” He barely whispers at this point, his heart feels too heavy to be his own. “You do not get to be the love of my life and then die, you do not get to do this to me. Do you understand?”

“Papa?” Logan turns and eyes in horror as the twins, so bubbly and sweet, lose everything about them. Emile bursts through, his eyes and breath apologetic. “What happened...to papa?” Remus cries, Valerie shakes her head.

“Logan I am so sorry, they ju-” Emile begins but Logan sighs.

“It's alright” He assures standing, Emile takes his cue and walks away, leaving the three of them in the room...well four of them, for now. He takes them both in his arms, a breath of relief knowing they exist, knowing they are there and ok. He leads them to the bed, sitting at the end as they fear their place. Valerie squirms first, crawling closer, but alas her hands recoil. Remus has no qualms, he jumps hugging his father.

“Papa wake up please” He begs, his voice so soft. His energy and excitement for the mystery of life is gone. He wanted certainty, he wanted his father. Soon his sad calm aura turned quick to confused anger. “Wake up! Wake up papa! Wake up!” he cries, Valerie's simple tears, as she watched in pity for her brother, were nothing compared to the waterfall. Logan takes the boy, embracing him gently in his arms, soothing him to breathe. Valerie adjusts herself under the blankets, hugging Patton as she tries to mimic his sleep pattern. Logan watches knowing his world is breaking, and he's only got a smidgen of knowledge of what to do.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out” Valerie hums, Remus eyes her red and puffed. She continues her gentle tone, and Remus joins her on Patton's other side. Both cozying up to him, simple and sweet tunes until the pair tire themselves out. Sleeping away, Logan sits in the chair, he watches hoping to protect them for a moment before his own eyes fall prey to the idea of rest.

~~~

A week later…

“So we ended up going to the wrong store” Logan explains as he sets up the meal, the children giggle placing the sheet over the table. The hospital had granted them permission to use a table, and set up for meals in Patton's room. “Here you are” He hands plates to Valerie, she juggles them carefully setting them neatly upon the surface.

“Imma go get napkins!” Remus declares, he enjoys the sweet gushes the nurses give him so running through the halls was his favorite pastime.

“He's not gonna come back with napkins” Valerie sighs, continuing to help Logan. He sits by Patton, recalling their day. “Lollipops maybe, but not napkins” She finishes giving Logan his moment to set the food. He had been trying his hardest, help from Roman and Remy was required for cooking. He followed the recipe and tried for a simple mac and cheese today, with some salad and sweet desserts.

“Ready?” Logan asks as Remus emerges with a bundle of his own finds, none of which included his treasure he had set to get.

“Don't forget food for papa” Remus reminds, Valerie nods already chomping into her meal. The twins had insisted they set a place for him every time, serve him food and Logan would wait until he was alone to pack it back up. They knew he wasn't eating it but it was nice. “He's going to be so big and strong when he wakes up”

If he wakes up

“Absolutely” Logan agrees. So they eat and Emile comes to pick them up for a day away, Logan cleans and makes sure everything returns to normal. He can't say he doesn't enjoy the few moments alone, it takes time to go from a solitary routine, to adding a romantic partner and then children.

But he misses the second part more than he cares to admit. He sits at the end of the bed, stroking away Patton's loose hairs, the freezing touch scares him. He moves closer, somehow finding himself exhausted and wrapped around Patton. Its funny, he used to dream of the day's end when he could cuddle up in bed alone, the world was his own. But he hadn't realized how much he missed having someone, Patton, there with him until it was gone. Sleep had been awful, restless, but as soon as he had his protective arms around Patton, making sure he was ok...Logan fell fast.

“Careful Lo, hes just a baby” Patton smiles, swaddling the young child in Logan's arms. The man fears his own breath, the smallest of tears as he watches the young one snore so easily. Patton keeps his arms connected and in this moment they just are, they feel connected. A soft kiss to Logans cheek as footsteps shuffle behind him.

“This is Jamahl, Terrences brother” Cindy introduces, Patton flashes his award winning smile. The boy remains hesitant, keeping his eyes steady on the little child in Logan's arms, he has no choice he thinks. If he wants to keep his brother safe this is his option. So he goes with them.

“Where are we going?” He asks, as the neighborhood finds itself less familiar. Patton looked at him, he insisted on sitting in the back with the children. Keeping an eye on the baby.

“Home” He replies, Jamahl scoffs shaking his head. “My home, and Logans and if you would like it to be...your home” Patton corrects, Jamahl gets a choice? That's new. “Oh I should warn you-”

“Here it comes” The twelve year old sighs, Patton keeps a gentle grin.

“I have two twins at home, they're both five years old.” He pulls out his phone, swiping to show a shining photo of Patton and two young ecstatic children, “Thats Valerie and that's Remus” He points, beaming with pride. Jamahl nods, ok...not as bad. “They're wonderful and...five years old and very excitable so just be wary” He laughs, Logan could never get tired of the sweet sound.

They arrived at the house quickly, and Patton was not wrong to warn the child.

“Im Valerie!” A young girl smiles, shaking his hand vivaciously.

“Im Remus!” The boy greets, a giant hug. Jamahl freezes but allows it to happen, thanking whatever ethereal being let Patton pull the twins off him.

“Remember what I told you humbugs, no touching unless they are comfortable with it ok?” Patton reminds, they nod before waving their goodbyes. They run off and Logan disappears into the hall, coddling the baby. Jamahl looks worried and Patton assures him. “You wanna come see what's going on?”

“Yes please” He nods and finds himself allowing Patton to lead him into the baby room. A bed set up for him as well, he watches Logan be ever so careful with the baby and Patton respect his boundaries. He shrugs.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

~~~

A month later...

“Its your fucking fault!” Logan decides, Emile shushes him backing him up from Virgils heated face. “Everything that is happening is your fault!”

“Logan you're being a dick right now” Remy announces, a glare from Emile quiets him. Logan scoffs kicking the chair underneath him, scaring even Roman.

“And yours too” He points, his nasty finger threatening the detectives. “Why didn't you do anything, day after day he came to you! About Liam! And now because of your fucking negligence, he was too scared to come to you and tell you about these phone calls!”

“You know what Lo? I shouldn't have told you, as of now you have no legal bindings to Patton, so me telling you that we searched his phone and found the phone calls, that was a courtesy” Virgil spits, Logan goes to approach not sure what his next move is but thanks to Roman and James he has no time to figure it out. They command him to sit, calming both parties and get a soothing talk down.

“You know it's his fault Roman” Logan sighs exasperated, Roman nods unsure but doesn't want to to escalate.

“You know what, fuck you Logan!” Virgil screams, Logan stands.

“You're the reason those children are gonna lose their father!” Logan retorts, that catches something. Virgil pushes past Remy, almost landing one on Logan before Roman grabs him, both surprised by how well they fit together. Silly to think about at this moment.

“Maybe if you weren't so fucking cold they would see you as a father” Virgil replies once more, that hurt. Logan won't lie that his knees buckled and he might have fallen right then had Barbara and Marcy not taken him and cared for him. He wants to keep going but a chilling throat clears the room. Instantly they both look to the doctor who stands, judgmental but patient.

“Hes awake”

[innuendostyles]

ben can be needy but it’s okay because he’s got you

!!! this piece contains mentions of feelings of distress, if this could trigger you in any way please be wary <3

needy - ariana grande (thank u, next)

ben hadn’t been himself recently. he’d been a lot more .... attatched. you were used to waking up with ben’s arm around your waist, but the night you woke up with ben sobbing into your shoulder, you knew something wasn’t right.

he’d always been someone to keep his feelings to himself. he felt like a burden. he thought it might change when he found someone he loved & felt like he could share anything with- but when you came along it just scared him even more.

you always told him to tell you how he feels but he.... couldn’t. and it all built up. it kept on building to the point where he couldn’t sleep without clinging on to you- the only way he could ground himself.

days of ben constantly following you around, only leaving you to use the bathroom or occasionally eat a bowl of cereal. gwilym had actually rang you one day, asking why ben wasn’t picking up his phone. you didn’t have the heart to tell him that he hadn’t spoken for 3 days, you just told gwilym he was ill. his phone had actually, and purposefully, been left uncharged in the living room.

he seemed to come out of it after you spoke with him the first time- more of an argument than a discussion. it was only for a day or so, and then he was back to how he was before.

“i cant do this, ben.” you said, “figure it out, please. it’s hurting me as much as it’s hurting you.” and with that, you kissed his cheek and set off for your friends house, where you stayed for 2 days before ben rang you.

“why didn’t you pick up the first time?” you heard ben say in a vulnerable tone through the other side of the phone.

“sorry- didn’t have my phone on me” you replied into the mobile.

“okay.” he replied.

“are you alright?” you asked him, fully knowing the answer.

“i need you, y/n” he said with a sob.

that was an hour ago.

now you were sat next to ben on his sofa in his apartment.

he couldn’t look at you.

he’d never been like this before.

“i just feel so... low?” he said, his voice cracking.

“that’s okay, baby.” you assured him.

“if you don’t wanna say anything it’s okay. i’ll wait for you to be ready.” you whispered, putting your hand on his.

“i just need you” he whispered back.

“i’m here, ben. forever. and i’ll always be here.”

“i’ve been so ........ dependent. m’ sorry.”

“it’s okay, ben. really. we all have our ups ‘nd downs, yeah?” you replied.

“sorry. jus’ .... gets hard sometimes. being in the spotlight all the time.” he said with a sniffle.

“stop saying sorry” you chuckled, sadly.

“sorry” he chuckled aswell.

“it’s selfish” he said after a while, “i know it is. i jus’.... feel so needy all the time. you’ve got your own life, your own job, family, friends, events... but you’re always here. makes me feel bad.” he sniffled. “but ‘m scared. scared you’ll move on. find someone different, normal, more like you.” you could see the regret in his eyes. he wasn’t meant to tell you that part.

“ben, i’m with you in this forever. til the end, right? that’s what you say. ‘nd i believe it.”

“it’s so damaging. all the faking. walking round like nothing’s bothering me ‘n then coming home crying when i’m going to sleep. makes me feel weak. like it shouldn’t be happening. but.... i can’t help it. y’know?” he asked with a hopeful tone.

“yeah. course. happens to everyone. all the time. ‘n it’s okay, ben. it should happen. it’s just because you’re... passionate. passionate about your job.”

“but it feels like i don’t give a fuck. has done for a while.” he sadly chuckles.

“no. i promise, ben. it’s cause you’re passionate.”

“but, i’m tired of faking it. them fuckin’ award shows, all i’m thinking about is walking out. every time. even if i win. i’m always thinkin’ about walkin’ out. it’s like.... i have to hide it. ‘n it’s killing me. having to hide it when ‘m all dressed up and looking like im perfect.”

you gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. also a gesture for him to carry on speaking - you were learning more about him now than you ever had in your 3 year relationship with him.

“overthinkin’ again, aren’t i love?” he gave a soft laugh as you laughed aswell, nodding your head and resting it on his shoulder. you brought his hand up to your mouth and kissed the back of it.

“thankyou for lovin’ me. even when i’m a needy little bitch. i love you.” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay. i love you too.” you replied, kissing his jaw.”

he was okay after that.

he took a break from instagram, though he’d never been the most fond of it, the time he spent without clicking on it now was a big change to the mindless scrolling he used to subject himself to every night before bed.

didn’t go to any award shows for a while.

spent more time with you, his friends, his family.

you guys even went to live with his parents in the countryside for a couple of weeks. getting ben to remember why he shouldn’t have to apologise for who he is.

he did, in the end.

his mum thanked you with a very big hug the night you both left to return to your normal lives.

“you mean the world to him, love.” she whispered as she kissed your cheek.

you held her shoulders, “he means the world to me too.” you replied.

[teddibearclub]

my favourite things kpop boys have said:

eric: a long time ago i dressed up as a princess but now i want to dress up as-

kevin: a prince?

eric: no, geodude from pokémon

-

kevin: i don’t know what a het is

-

20 seconds of silence

jisung (skz): gay!

-

kevin: van gogh was found wigless and shook in his grave, thank you for that narrative.

-

mark lee: i feel like the possibility of those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen

-

johnny: i was thinking we could also go for like frozen yogurt

mark completely changing the tone straight faced: oh i’m not a yogurt fan, i can’t eat yogurt

johnny: no it’s like ICEcream

mark: i know

johnny: ok nevermind

-

mark lee to a random person : excuse me do you know this song “party on the city where the heat is on all night in the beach where the beat is on, welcome to miami”

the person:

mark lee: i’m sorry ok

*later*

mark lee: hey do you guys know this song-

-

mark lee: wow this country music is making this texas feel more like texas, even more like texas

-

mark lee: my fingers aren’t mine

-

jaemin: then i’m jin ramyum

dream: oiiiiii

renjun: i feel like dying

dream:

renjun: what’s wrong?

-

mark lee to a squirrel: check this out hey buddy aw come on man waaeyay

-

mark: woah it’s actually different from santa monica beach because i always thought that all beaches were the same and it actually isn’t

johnny: that’s horrible how you think that

mark: i mean like in a way you know it’s just like water and a shore and then sand but now it’s different

-

renjun: in the case that this works out for me, i am going to go to the moon. i don’t want to live on this earth.

-

ten: *does a cute thing then looks at renjun* why are you looking at your hyung like that?

renjun: i’m scared

-

doni: can you do something like jeno did?

renjun: i don’t really understand korean that well

doni: suddenly? chenle, is there anything you can do?

chenle: i don’t understand...

*renjun and chenle high five*

-

renjun: i have an animal that i’m afraid of and i don’t have plans on revealing what it is

johnny: why? what animal is it

jeno: tell us!

renjun: it’s humans

-

renjun on weekly idol: i’m confident in korean

renjun anytime he doesn’t want to answer something: i’m not good at korean

renjun fluent in korean: korean is hard for me! :)

mr fluent in korean speaking in korean: i can’t speak korean though?

renjun to dream who know he’s fluent: i’m bad a korean you know

-

mark: we gathered up together in the early morning it’s nice

renjun: as we’ve been together since early in the morning, i’m tired of being together now

-

renjun: emergency exits remind me of nctzens

jeno: *spitting out his water*

-

renjun: today though such a fun program like idol room, i learned that the world is a cold and unfair place

-

mark: there’s so much generation difference between us

renjun pushing mark away: let’s keep our distance then

-

renjun: i wonder what it’ll be like when i become an adult, im worried i feel like i’ll have to be more responsible, but seeing mark.. there isn’t much to it, i mean he can drink now but that’s about it

-

yukhei: you see i’m born in the 80s so i don’t know about slang

renjun pointing to kun: what about that guy over there?

kun: *ready to murder*

-

sicheng: the scene where i appear-

renjun: YOU IMMEDIATELY DISAPPEAR

-

renjun to jeno: because you are even less fun than usual i am giving you this award

-

renjun: we’re so boring so fans must be pressing all the hearts out of boredom

-

renjun: so if i don’t win i have to pair up with the mc?

mc: yes

renjun: i should pull myself together then

-

mc: why are you so good at korean?

renjun: i’m not good at korean

doni: *grabs renjun because he’s a lying brat*

renjun: *happily showing the camera he is being attacked* why aren’t you fixing my clothes?

doni: *fixing renjuns shirt because he’s a king and it’s what he deserves*

-

renjun after losing every game: this is like we’re in a movie maybe there will be a big plot twist at the end

doni: there won’t

renjun: as expected from a biased pair of people

-

renjun and chenle talking

jisung: what are you guys saying?

renjun: if you want to know learn the language

-

mark: do we get a prize?

mc: we have an expensive gift prepared

renjun: now it’s worth doing!

-

chenle: wow my chinese is so good

renjun: nice! did you forget you’re chinese?

-

i cant remember who said this probably renjun: i think nct dream, you can say we are kind of a fun team, but when i look at the hyung team i feel frustrated, please gain strength hyungs

-

mark: ive been wearing the shoes renjun made, they’re very comfortable

renjun: i didnt make them comfortable i just drew on them

-

renjun: a spoiler? what if i get fired from the company?

donghyuck: get fired? us? get fired? lmao

-

kevin: jacob i’ve been waiting forever for this moment

jacob: waiting for what? waiting for me?

kevin: honey i see you everyday

-

jacob: the scent of autumn, the scent of leaves

kevin: we’re indoors but okay

-

kevin: kid, mama’s gotta dance

-

renjun: *speaks in chinese*

jeno: wow you are so good at chinese, did u study it a lot?

renjun: yes

-

ten: oh this is not icecream this is butter

-

johnny: there’s this thing too where girls call guys as “oh daddy” but not like a real dad

-

tens birthday note to johnny: i wanna have xxxx with you fatass! love you forever darling

mark: i don’t think we should read that

-

donghyuck: a six-pack is too heavy for me, so now i only walk around with a one-pack. i leave the other five behind.

-

nct: goodnight

mark: don’t let the bed bugs bite

ten: open your eyes

nct: NO CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE YOUR EYES!

-

johnny: my dad knew i likes beans so like he was playing with beans, and he dropped it and then he dropped it on a rock and it slid and then hot water started falling, and then coffee

-

host: wow your english is really good

johnny: i’m from chicago

-

johnny: i chose fried mackerel, mackarol, mackarel, the fish, mackerol, mackerel, mackarel *cute shrug*

-

jungwoo: trip to space

johnny: you wanna go home?

mark: that’s where he came from

jungwoo: my friends are there

mark: that’s his home town

-

jacob: i cant compare to him so-

kevin: it’s okay jacob everyone’s an artist in their own way

-

kevin: fun fact i used to do gymnastics

jacob: SAME

kevin: oh really!!

jacob: and then i quit :)

-

chenle: talking to reporters-

jisung: harry potter

jisung in excitement: ha-REPORTER

-

kevin in distress: jacob you have no beyoncé in your library, what is this? WHAT IS THIS!?

jacob: no i respect her i love her music

kevin making a scissor motion with his hands: you know what this is? scissors. to cut our friendship.

jacob: why are you exposing me like that

kevin: i’m just kidding, if beyoncé can forgive jayz i can forgive you jacob”

-

kevin: jacob came back from canada with a suitcase full of cereal

-

donghyuck: oh canada, this is korea man don’t forget okay.

-

mark lee: wait chips means fries right? 

-

kevin: sam if you’re out there i’m still waiting for you to *cough* TEXT ME BACK

-

jacob: and jeff i love you

tbz: awww

kevin: mY nAmE jEfF

-

chenle pointing at a roller coaster: do you wanna ride?

jisung: hell no i’ll die

-

chenle: jisung which sunglasses are better these or the other ones

jisung: both are mediocre

-

doyoung: that’s a difficult question because i don’t read

-

fan: comments something about renjun stealing their heart

renjun: i don’t know how to react to these types of comments... why are you all like this? everyone let’s self reflect...

-

renjun: pretend we’re close in front of the camera

donghyuck: we’re supposed to be close friends right? this is going to be hard 

-

ten: xiaojun stop being dramatic challenge

-

taemin from shinee: *singing replay by shinee*

yukhei: that’s not it

yukhei *showing taemin from shinee how to sing a shinee song*

mark: *dying in the background*

-

bambam talking about got7’s first album: you know the time we thought we was so cool, we was so good, but then we look back and it’s like what the hell

-

jae: would you rather wake up in someone’s body or wake up without being able to communicate?

brian: i’d rather not communicate

jae: then you can’t sing

brian: i’m fine with that, my parents gifted me this body

day6: ??? the fuck ???

sungjin: what if you wake up in JYPs body one day?

day6:

day6: what about it. i love it. that’s would be lovely

jae: we love you boss 👍

-

jae: what would you forget?

dowoon: i ate some ants as a kid

wonpil: i ate pill bugs

sungjin: i ate soap

wonpil: everyone’s eaten soap, what about crayons?

jae: crayons???

wonpil: they looked delicious when i was a kid

brian: i’ve eaten them

sungjin: they must’ve tasted good

-

dowoon: *stuffing marshmallows in his mouth*

brian: no you can do more STOP CHEWING PUT IT IN

dowoon muffled: i think i’m going to die

brian: you think you’re going to die??

brian smiling: sorry he might die , he might choke to death

jae: *reaching over to stuff more marshmallows in dowoons mouth*

-

brian gets a dare to sing everything he says: dare or dare~

dowoon: oooowwooo~

brian: this is my dare don’t take it from me~

-

q: can you name my bird

renjun: ...if i say to name it “bird” will u want to hit me

[rosyrosethings]

Harry proposes to Girlfriend who isn’t Y/n

Part 2 here’s part 1

Harry stood there dumbfounded. Meanwhile Y/n felt like her dreams were crushed. Kendall stood there confused. She didn’t understand what was going on between them two.

“I’m sorry, maybe i shouldn’t have said anything in front of Y/n. I just thought you told her.” Kendall said, looking over at Harry and Y/n.

“Ohh he did tell me Kendall, he’s just shocked that you’re back. He was so heartbroken last night. He’s so happy to see you. Isn’t that right Harry?” Y/n interjected. Harry looked over at her and back at Kendall. Harry smiled at Kendall.

“I’m so happy you’re back. I thought you left me forever.” He said as he pulled her into a hug rubbing her back. Harry was honestly happy she was back. He was still in love with her. But after last night with Y/n. He can’t stop thinking about it and the way her and her body against his. But the words that’s came out of his mouth broker her heart. Even thought she pushed them together. She doesn’t have a chance with Harry she thought. If anyone deserves him it’s Kendall. Y/n started to walk away Harry grabbed her arm. Still holding Kendall in his arm.

“Where are you going?” He mouthed,

“Anywhere but here.” She mouthed back. Pulling her arm away from Harry’s.

“Okay.. well I’m gonna leave. I have studying to do.”

“Wait. You’re gonna come out tonight to celebrate with us?” Kendall said, turning around from the hug.

“Umm i don’t know.. I’m not in a partying mood..” y/n said, “aww c’mon, please come it’s this guy I want you meet.” Kendall pleated. Y/n sighed. Why did her and Kendall have to get along so well.

“Fine Kendall. I’d come.” She squealed in response. Harry looked over at Y/n as grabbed her bag. He felt horrible. He didn’t know what to do. The love of his life was right in front him but yet he wasn’t happy.

//

Y/n arrived to Harry’s home later that day. Noticing it was already full of people. She didn’t wanna be here. She’s in love with someone who’s getting married now. As she walked into the home Kendall immediately greeted her. Walking over to her.

“Y/n!!! I’ve been waiting on you forever. I have two surprises for youu.” She said taking Y/n by the arm pulling through the group of people.

“Hmm what do you have for me Kendall? Is it a guy?” Y/n mumbled, y/n hated when she tried to hook her with people. Y/n has been single since she was young. She never really had a boyfriend. So ever since her and Kendall became friends. Kendall been trying to hook her up with guys ever since. Y/n didn’t get hopes up. It would never last.

“Y/n this is Keith, Keith this is Y/n.” Kendall said, as she slightly pushed Y/n forward slightly but Y/n recognized him. He was the guy from the bar when she was crying.

“Nice to see you again, finally get to know your name this time.” He said with a smirk, Y/n broke into a smile. “im sorry if i didn’t introduce myself last time.”

“You guys know each other?” Kendall asked a bit confused.

“Yea we ran into each other at Bar the other day.” Keith replied,

“Well that’s good to hear. This is Y/n shes my best friend and she’s amazing at everything and Keith is amazing photographer everyone wants him to take their pictures.” She said ending thing with her award winning smile. “Well I’m gonna leave you two alone.” She said walking off to the crowd of people. She turned around to y/n and mouthed “he’s cute.” Behind him as she walked away

“So Y/n, how did it go with the guy?” He asked, she didn’t say anything.

“Ehh not too god. We got drunk and did stuff.”

“Stuff?” He said with a smirk. “What’s stuff?”

“Doesn’t matter because he’s engaged.”

“What I thought-.”

“Well things happen.” She said, with a sigh. Y/n looked over at the karaoke machine. Kendall really knew how to throw a party. Her and Harry’s family were here.

“Can i get everyone attention please?”y/n looked up to see Harry and Kendall hand and hand with the microphone in Kendall’s other hand.

“We invited you all here to tell you the news. That we are engaged!” Kendall cheered Which caused the crowd to cheer. Y/n let out a small woo. Keith leaned over to Y/n

“He’s the guy I’m assuming.”

“How’d you know?”

“You don’t seem too excited.”

“You can’t tell Kendall.”

“I won’t on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You go on a date with me.” He said, she smirked and rolled her eyes. “Okay fine deal.” He smiled, “okay I’m gonna get ya a drink.” He replied walking off. Leaving Y/n in the corner of the room waiting on him. Harry On the other hand was looking for Y/n all night. He finally found her in the corner of the room alone.

“Y/n.” He said approaching her. She was shocked to see him. Even though she was at his home. She didn’t wanna see him.

“We need to talk.” He whispered in her ear. She shrugged her shoulders. Harry hated when she’s avoided conversation.

“Y/n please talk to me.” He said looking at her in the eye. She sighed. “Harry we have nothing to say. It was a mistake.”

“But I didn’t think it was a mistake. How about tomorrow? We can talk.”

“Harry, please you’re getting married. It obviously was a mistake to you.”

“I’m just trying to figure things out. But you can’t avoid me forever. So please talk to me? I’d call you tonight?”

“Fine.”

//

“Hello?” Y/n mumbled being woke out her sleep by her phone ringing.

“Hello love, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Harry it’s 2am.. shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I told you I would call you. I had to talk to you.” He said, as he locked the bathroom door. “Y/n i can’t stop thinking about you. You’re body. After that night. It opened my eyes.”

“Opened your eyes to what? To what Harry?”

“To you. And tonight when i saw you with that guy.. i couldn’t take it and seeing in that dress.”

“Jealous much?” She asked, hr chuckled. “Maybe a bit too jealous and after seeing you in that dress. I was just.” He let a moan. His went over the tent building in his pants.

“are you thinking about me?”she said, lowly her hands finding her way between her legs

“Yes.”

“Are you thinking about me naked daddy?” She asked, she said as her fingers moved in circles on her clit. Her voice was getting Harry harder and harder. He slipped his hands in his joggers. His hands moving up and down his shaft. “Fuck yes.” Y/n knew they had to talk. But she diverted the conversation to phone sex. She knew he was horny and jealous. All night he kept his eyes on her body. It was driving him crazy he couldn’t fuck her.

“are you gonna cum for me baby?” She asked, through the phone, Harry didn’t know how good it felt for her to call him baby. But Harry had to focus. She was trying to change the conversation. He took his hand off of himself. “Y/n I need you.. to talk to me. Stop trying to change the conversation.” He said, y/n but her bottom lip and let out sigh.

“Fine Harry, what do you want me To say? That I’m in love with you? You’re getting married Harry, you love her and I was just a good fuck. You never showed interest in me before i had sex with you. .” She said as she sat up.

“I didn’t think you would like me. But after that night it’s like you opened my eyes. I want you Y/n all of you. You’ve been there from the start and I just.. just don’t know what to do.” Harry said, there was a knock on the dooor. Y/n heard it through the phone.

“Harry i have to piss! Hurry up.” Kendall yelled.

“Your fiancé is calling you.” Y/n said as she hung up the call. Harry didn’t hear anything but the dial tone.

@sushiabby @havethetimeeofyourlifee @kingyerim

[knjoodles]

mismatched pages; jimin x reader

pairing: writer!jimin x writer!reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1.2K

summary: you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

lowercase intended.

02 (a lot longer than this first chapter)

“shit!” you exclaimed, tumbling out of your dorm and into the hallway. you were 15 minutes late to class, and it takes 15 minutes to walk there. you stood in front of the elevator, tapping your foot out of pure terror and nerve. “okay,” you said to yourself, “elevator’s not fast. stairs, stairs!” you whipped towards the stairwell on the other side of the hall and dashed towards them, scurrying down the stairs and nearly tripping over at least twice. 

once you reached the ground floor, you let yourself take a breather. “i need to get back into shape.” you groaned, rubbing your temples before adjusting the uncomfortable way your sock was sitting on your foot and, again, setting off to run to your class. “fuck!” you muttered. “dr. yang is going to kick my ASS!”

thanks to the cup of iced latte you downed in ten minutes, your body running on pure adrenaline, and that leftover chinese from last night, you reached your class in 7 minutes. embarrassed that you were out of breath, you spent about 30 seconds catching it before walking in.

you opened the door slowly so to not be embarrassed about your entire class eyeing you for being late and were nicely surprised as none of them even bat an eye at you. dr. yang, your professor, raised his eyebrows at you and motioned for you to make your way over to his desk before starting your classwork.

“(y/n),” he said, “can you explain to me why you were late?”

“i, um,” you fiddled with the corner of your jacket and made eye contact with him; eye contact that was way too direct to not be awkward. “i stayed up last night working on the project you assigned, and then i went to sleep late. i woke up 40 minutes ago and realized how late i was. i'm sorry, it won’t happen again.”  you bowed.

dr. yang sighed, laying down the stack of papers he was filing and looked up at you. “(y/n), why are you working so hard?”

personally? you were stunned by that question. you never imagined in all your life that a teacher would ask you that question. 

“i mean, i assigned that a week ago! it’s due at the end of the semester!” he chuckled, shocked that you’d start that early. 

“but sir, everyone else has started!” you argued, trying justify why you slept at 5 a.m. last night. 

“well, has this ‘everyone else’ stayed up so late that they’re late to the class that the grade is for?” dr. yang queried. “(y/n). i don’t want to discourage hard work and hard working people, but you already excel in this class. you don’t need to do this, and?  it’s better if you don’t. you should live your life the way you want to, but please, if not for you than for your teacher, let yourself rest.”

you were appalled to say the least. you could barely say a word; your teacher just told you to stop working so hard? “i,”  you started, forgetting how to form coherent sentences. “i understand, dr. yang.”

“good. now, if you were here for the first 20-something minutes of class, you’d know that there were two assignments today.” he teased as he stood up. “one assignment was to work on the semester project. but, i knew some people like you would be almost completely done with that. so, i created the second assignment: an in-class assignment, which doubles as me entering my students in a contest. you must write up a fully original short story. it can be about anything you like, any theme you want, any genre, etc. then, once it has been proofread by another student, it’ll be read by a panel of judges, who’ll be judging short stories from all over the world. the top ten writers will then move on to a sequel competition. the top three writers will be awarded a large sum of money, and, if one of my students wins, they will earn 30% extra credit on their final exam. it’s one of the toughest writing competitions out there, so great achievements deserve great rewards. and, everything will be done-” he paused, looking at you.

“wow,” you exclaimed, feeling like the wind was knocked out of you. 30% extra credit on your final exam? that’s so many points, you could drown in them. “that sounds amazing, im so glad you’re giving us this opportunity to-“

“-in partners.” he finished, watching your eyes grow like saucers and your jaw drop ever so slightly.

“in... in partners?” you stumbled over your words. ideas for this were already flying through your head. but now you have to work with someone else? in a class where you only talk to two other people? who you’ve known since you were in middle school? 

“yes!” dr. yang hummed, ridding the whiteboard of tiny marks. “but, partners have already been chosen. fortunately, there’s someone else who thought they could get by by themselves.”

“sir, im not sure if i want to-"

“park jimin. he’ll be your partner.” dr. yang turned to you and smiled, placing his whiteboard eraser rag in a drawer and sitting back down in his chair.

“park jimin? you mean, that park jimin?” you motioned over to a man sitting with his nose so close to his laptop, his face was basically part of it.

“do you know any other park jimins in this class?” dr. yang asked, opening his laptop to reply to emails. “get to introducing yourself. he thinks he’s working by himself too.”

with dr. yang quite literally shoo-ing you away with silence and a hand wave, you realized that park jimin was probably going to have to be your best friend until the end of the year. and so you set off, racing up the stairs of your lecture hall, making a beeline for jimin. “excuse me?”

“mhm?” he hummed, turning to you. it would be an understatement to say that it was a change of scenery and what you thought he looked like. you barely saw him; the times you did look at him, his face was masked by his laptop. and the rest of the time, you didn’t really pay attention to him. now, getting a chance to get a good look at him, you studied his features. he had a very attractive facial structure, with high cheekbones and plump lips. his hair was a sleek black color, which really complemented his outfit of beige and dusty blue. you noted how sharp his nose was and how nicely his eyes were shaped. this made life a little easier. at least he wasn’t an eyesore. 

“hi, i'm (y/n).” you held out your hand, which he stared at for a couple seconds before getting the memo that he was supposed to shake it.

“hi, (y/n),” he smiled, clasping your hand with both of his and giving a firm handshake. “do you need something from me? do you need me to write your essay for you?” he giggled.

“no,” you laughed awkwardly. “about the second assignment, the contest one?”

“yeah?” he nodded, resting his head in his right hand.

“dr. yang assigned us as partners, so here i am!”

“dr. yang assigned us as-” he paused to laugh to himself. “him letting me go solo that easily sounded too good to be true.”

a pang of embarrassment washed over you. “i mean, if you don’t want to work with me-”

“no, no! it’s not that at all,” he assured you, pulling over the chair next to him and motioning for to sit down. “i knew he’d do something like this was what i was saying. nothing against you. i’ve just met you!” 

“that's good to know, i guess,” you smiled. “i know that you’re really creative, so maybe later today we can go to a library and bounce ideas off each other?”

“why don’t i treat you to lunch and get to know you better?” he asked. from how introverted he acted in class, you never expected that he’d be so social from the get-go. “i know this really good café only a 10 minute drive from here.”

“well, if you insist,” you said, his smile overtaking any sort of anxiety you felt. you rubbed your thumb on top of your palm in excitement. in huge contrast to high-school, you’re not too social right now.

“great. meet me in front of ginam hall and then we can go!” jimin promised before turning back to his laptop to work on whatever he was on his laptop.

you awkwardly stood up. was that it? dr. yang directly told you to start working on your project after he lectured you. you waited for a solid minute, quietly chewing on your lip and expecting that jimin would offer to share ideas or something. 

anything?

“uh, jimin?” you blurted, the weight of your uncomfortableness outweighing your patience at that point. he turned and raised his eyebrows, lowering his laptop screen and laying his hand on the table.

“yup?” he asked, crossing his legs.

“did dr. yang not tell you our project starts now? like we have to work on it today?” 

“he didn’t say we had to work on it together, today! see it this way, we both brainstorm some deas for our story; plan it out, write down a summary of the plot, make like three of them. then, when we meet up in the library when both of our classes are over we can 

you almost imploded at this idea. it wasn’t  bad or anything, but three plot ideas? three of them? and who said that we were meeting up after lunch? you thought jimin’s replacement for meeting up at the library was lunch! you didn’t sign up for two. “i, um,” you stuttered. “i guess that’s alright?”

jimin beamed, the large round ceiling lights making his eyes glitter. “great! i’ll see you at 12:15 at ginam, right?”

“mhm!” you hummed, flashing him a frail smile and giving two thumbs up before turning around and skittering to your partners in crime, jung hyeyeon and kang jaehyun.

“since when do you talk to park jimin?” hyeyeon pondered, drumming her fingers against the gray of her macbook. 

“yeah, that was weird.” jaehyun nodded. 

“stop it!” you silently scolded, sitting down in between them and fishing out your laptop, letting your bag drop under the desk and on the floor. “it’s ‘cause dr. yang put us in a group since him and i are almost completely finished with our semester project.”

“seriously? is that why you were late?” jaehyun gawked. “i could barely find a topic to report on! how did you finish so fast?”

“i mean, i'm not done done,” you explained, waving your hands as you waited for your laptop to load your project. “i just need someone to proofread so i can make edits. then i'm done.”

“so basically, you’re done.” hyeyeon snickered. “but you and jimin…” she nudged you with her elbow, raising her eyebrows.

“oh, come on!” you laughed. “don’t even start with that. i’ve known him for literally 10 minutes.”

“you guys wouldn’t even look bad!” hyeyeon defended herself, spinning on her chair in jaehyun’s direction. “right, jaehyun?”

“she isn’t wrong,” jaehyun agreed, spinning his pencil with his fingers. “it wouldn’t be ugly.”

“i only know his face and his name. it’s not like i know all of his deep, dark secrets or something. lay off, please?” you half laughed, half begged. 

“fine, fine,” hyeyeon raised her hands in defeat and scuttled her way back to her desk on her swivel chair. “we’ll shut up.” 

you turned your head to the other side of the room to look at jimin, typing away on his computer. you smiled to yourself, thinking about how, as different as you thought the two of you were, you were actually quite similar.

how nice.

[intothedanvers-e]

Reconnected

Word Count: 2k

Pairing: Tom Holland x latina reader

Summary: The way you two ended hurt like hell, but you couldn’t stop each other from living out your dreams. You knew it was dumb but you never wanted to erase his number from your contacts, hoping that one day he’d call you and want to meet with you again.

Author’s Note: I made myself emo writing this at essentially 2 am but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Thank you to everyone who read the prologue to this series!! I didn’t expect anyone to like it and im so glad yall did!! If youd like to be part of this taglist please let me know! If you have any feedback also please don’t hesitate in sending it to me!! I hope you guys like it!! SIDE NOTE: italics means its a text message from Tom, italics + bold is a text from y/n

Here’s my masterlist!

Prologue Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 1

You were standing at the end of a red carpet that seemed to go on forever. You swore that if Jane wasn’t standing next to you, you would’ve collapsed already. You were extremely nervous; you were an author not a famous person who was used to doing stuff like this! Before you knew it someone was passing forward a sign with your name on it and was directing you in front of the hoards of cameras. It all seemed to go by in a flash (no pun intended) because by the time you knew it you and Jane were at the other end and being escorted into the beautifully decorated ballroom.

You became overwhelmed immediately. The ballroom looked like a scene straight out of a movie; there was beautiful decorations on every table and the lighting had all been done to make the room look like it was magical. You could tell some of the decorations were inspired by the books that were nominated for awards. You walked over to a table that had your name on one of the plates and almost lost it when the centerpiece was a replica of an important stone in your book. If it weren’t for the fact that you were in a room full of your heroes, you would be in tears by now.

“I need a drink. Real bad,” you said turning to Jane who you knew was just as overwhelmed as you but did a much better job of hiding it.

“It’s in open bar. Get your drank on girl,” she said pointing to a beautiful bar that looked like it was covered in snow.

You simply nodded at her and walked to the bar, trying to keep your hands from shaking.

“Can I have a lime margarita please?”

“Coming right up.”

You smiled and looked around the room, trying not to freak out at all the amazing people that were trickling in. This was something beyond your wildest dreams. Never in your life did you ever think you’d become a published author, let alone be in a room with the worlds most spectacular writers of your generation.

“Let me guess, a lime margarita?”

The voice sounded familiar. It was almost soothing. You turned around and came face to face with none other than your ex, Tom Holland. You quickly looked around the room, just to make sure you weren’t hallucinating.

“I’d been looking for the most beautiful author in here and I finally found her,” he said taking a step closer to you and leaning against the bar.

He still made your heart flutter.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well you know, Spider-Man spends quite a lot of time reading to kids, so I got the honorary invite. Also…I wouldn’t miss you winning this award for the world.”

Hearing him say that send a mixture of nerves and warmth up your spine. You knew he meant it, there was no doubt in his mind that anyone other than you would win that award. You, on the other hand, had spent days convincing yourself there was no way in hell you were winning that award but that it was still an honor to be nominated.

“I’m glad you’re here, but I’m not winning that award. Have you seen the other nominees? People with years and years of experience. There’s no way I’m getting that.”

You looked down at your feet, suddenly realizing how badly you actually wanted it.

“Years and years of experience yet you managed to get the nomination just off of the two books you’ve written. That’s a feat in itself if you ask me.”

You turned to smile at him. You so badly wanted to hold him and kiss him. You wanted to go sit down and tell him how there hasn’t been one day where you haven’t thought of him. How you were insanely proud of all that he is now and just catch him up on everything that’s been happening in your life. You wanted it to be just like before, except with a few more years of experience gained.

You were about to say something when a woman came and wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Tom froze and tried to shift his body away from you but couldn’t because of the way she was holding him.

“I’d been looking for you baby,” she said connecting her lips to his neck. She turned to you and smiled.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.”

You grabbed your drink and walked away without saying anything. You knew this would happen, you just didn’t think you’d feel this heartbroken. You sat back down in your seat without saying another word to anyone.

The awards ceremony had begun but you were too busy trying to calm yourself down enough so you didn’t hear your heartbeat in your ears anymore. Suddenly, your phone buzzed. It was a message from Tom.

“Please let me explain.”

You locked your phone and put it on the table face down. It buzzed again.

“It’s not what you think.”

You put it back on the table. It buzzed again.

“It’s publicity. We’re not really dating; Marvel just wants to get some buzz going on around me.”

You finally decided to reply.

“Who’s this?”

He responded instantly.

“I know you still have my number saved Y/N. I thought about calling you a million times but could never bring myself to do it. Please let me just explain everything to you.”

You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and set it on the table. You tried to pay attention but ultimately failed. You didn’t mind however; you were nominated for the biggest award of the night which usually meant that one was going to be dead last. You sat in your seat and messed with the beautiful dessert on the plate in front of you. Oh how one person can ruin what was supposed to be the most important night of your life. Oh and how much you hated that a guy you haven’t seen or talked to in almost 2 years could ruin it so easily.

Suddenly your phone started vibrating again, only it was a phone call. You were scared it was Tom but decided to check anyway. It was your sister. You showed Jane who was calling and she nodded as you stepped into the lobby.

“Hello?”

“SIS! HERMANA! UUUHHH MY WATER BROKE SO UUUHHH IM ON MY WAY TO THE- OH FUCK! OH MY GOD THIS SHIT HURTS!”

“What?! Samantha?!”

Someone else took the phone from your sister.

“Mija, its happening. We thought we would let you know so you could enjoy your night and look forward to meeting your niece or nephew later tonight, hopefully.”

You could hear screams from your sister.

“Later tonight?! No ma! I’m not missing my only sister giving birth to her kid! She’s not doing this without me!”

“Mija no te vas a faltar recibiendo ese premio.” “Sweetheart you’re not going to miss out on getting that award.”

Your abuela sounded so calm compared to your sister and mother.

“Abuela nothing is more important that being with you guys when that baby gets here. I’m not leaving my sister alone in there with you two crazies.”

Your abuela let out a laugh.

“But Y/N you didn’t drive, how are you going to get there?”

You froze suddenly realizing your mom was right. You and Jane had been picked up by one of the drivers the event sent for you.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll be there.”

You clicked and turned around. You jumped almost 5 feet in the air when you saw Tom standing behind you. He scared the shit out of you.

“What the fuuuck!”

“Shit sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You nodded and tried to walk past him but he stopped you.

“I came in my car,” he said taking out his car keys.

You eyed him carefully.

“Look I know right now I’m the last person you want to sit in a car with, but Y/N I have a car and your sister has gone into labor so you haven’t got many options.”

“Where’s it parked?”

“The valet recognized me and put it in the first spot closest to the exit.”

You sighed and pointed toward the lobby doors.

“Lets go, my sister is about to have a fucking baby.”

The two of you sprinted toward his car and exited quickly. You texted Jane the entire situation, letting her know that if you do win for some reason to go up there and read the speech you had written on a sheet of paper in your clutch you left on the table. She was freaking out on you for leaving but she also understood. For you it was always going to be family first.

You drove in silence for a bit. Suddenly Tom spoke.

“So Samantha’s pregnant. Congrats. When did that happen.”

“No offence but that’s none of your business,” you said with your eyes glued to the road. There was a bit of traffic but you were a bit closer than your mom to the hospital so you hoped to get there in time.

“I’ve missed you.”

The words felt like he was pulling your heart out of your chest and started stomping all over it. You saw the hospital on the next street.

“You can leave me out front.”

“No offence but I may come to your advantage. I’ve come to do charity work here before, they love me. There’s no faster way of getting where you need to go than walking in there with a celebrity they love.”

You rolled your eyes, but said nothing. You knew he was right, and you didn’t want to risk missing your sister giving birth. He turned into the parking lot and pulled the window down. The parking attendant’s face lit up.

“Mr. Holland! What brings you here tonight?”

“Hey bud! So I kind of got a family member who’s just gone into labor in there and I need to get in there and to her as quickly as possible.

“Sister or a cousin or something?” he said grabbing his walkie.

“Girlfriend’s sister.”

You don’t know how but within 5 minutes you were walking into the waiting room of Labor and Delivery. You saw your aunts and cousins taking up some of the seats in the corner. Your cousins lit up when they saw Tom, they recognized him as Spider-Man. Your aunts, however, recognized him as your ex. You walked over to greet them.

“Long story. He’ll keep the kids busy. Where’s Sam?”

They pointed you to the doctor who had just walked out.

“I’m looking for Y/N Y/L/N?”

“That’s me,” you said walking over to him.

“Your sister is looking for you. It’s time.”

You turned to look at Tom who gave you a reassuring smile as he was already knelt down playing with your cousins.

“Keep them busy please. And thanks.”

You turned around and walked behind the doctor.

It seemed like the longest two hours of your life. There were a few complications but you finally had a tiny, perfect baby nephew. They moved your sister in one of the rooms and because she seemed to be okay they said she could have just adults come visit her. You smiled and walked out to get your aunts.

“He’s perfect. You guys can go see him, I’ll stay out here a bit.”

The smiled and kissed you on the cheek as they walked to your sister’s room. You turned and saw all of your cousins folded in chairs fast asleep. Tom was in the middle of them, carrying your 2-year-old godson in his lap. They were both fast asleep, your godson was leaning his head against his chest and Tom had his head against the wall. Just the sight of him made you instantly fall in love with him all over again. Your stomach couldn’t stop doing cartwheels. You quickly took a picture of the sight, not making a single noise. No matter what happened between you two, you wanted this moment to last forever.

Taglist: @tom-hollands-eyelash @colourful-fandoms-ruined-my-blog @greenarrowhead @minispidey @beautiful-holland @hazhasmycoffee @truthfulchange @hollandlovely @cutiepie-holland @thothollandd

strikethrough means you asked to be part of the taglist and i couldnt tag you for some reason!

[nightcoremoon]

I think part of the reason why I hate horror movies is because of the overreliance on jumpscares and shock value and BWAH SUDDEN LOUD NOISES rather than on atmosphere, believability, tension, fear.

here's a list of horror movies from google and the reasons why I hate them, or why I love them, or that they're not actually horror movies.

A quiet place: haven't seen it yet but it's a thriller more so than a horror. thrillers can be scary though but then again so can comedies. and romances. 50 shades is definitely scary: it is psychological abuse after all.

Halloween: slasher film, automatically boring and shit. I'm including the entirety of the franchise here, by the way, and I'm also gonna be including Friday the 13th, nightmare on elm street, etc. They're all the same brand of sensationalist garbage. maybe the very first in each series could be redeemable but the mass volume of shitty and terrible CGI gorefests have ruined them forever. "oh no the scary unkillable monster is coming after us and he's gonna kill us in overly violent ways" 💩

Hereditary: I don't even give a shit it looks trite EDIT maybe it's okay but I don't give enough of a shit to bother to ~give it a chance~ because hey. that's what fucking horror games are for.

Insidious: boring, not scary, 0/10

Get Out: haven't watched yet but will because it's a cinematic masterpiece that defies genre conventions

Bird Box: IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT FUCKING BIRD BOX SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BIRD BOX HOLY SHIT. It's just the goddamn happening by shyamagofuckyourself and it's an excuse to profit off of sensationalist suicide. oohh so spooky. eat my ass, boggart

It: too much bad cgi makes it a comedy. plus a bunch of kids say fuck a lot. good movie that's technically horror I guess but is it scary? nah.

Suspiria: I've never heard of this movie

Annihilation: same

Split: M NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS A SHITTY FILMMAKER and also it's ableist as fuck so

Mandy: google you suck none of these movies have any mainstream appeal

The Conjuring: 💩💩💩

Hush: ??? you know what fuck it I'm skipping the ones that don't matter

The Vvitch: 🙄 my mom's a witch, my best friend's a witch, I'm a witch. hey yeah maybe let's not buy into christian colonialism please? scary witches are boring as shit. gimme something actually scary. like Catholics.

The Nun: wait shit not like that! and by that I mean BORING AS HELL aside from the jumpscares. which are shit

The Babadook: clearly an LGBT movie, not horror

Cabin in the Woods: a parody and an excellent one at that. at least the gore is in homage, or hilariously over the top

Sinister: the fucking epitome of shitty jumpscares and shock value and lack of atmosphere and bad acting and bad plot and jesus fucking christ this is one of the worst and most boring movies I've ever had the misfortune to see DONT WASTE YOUR GODDAMN TIME

Saw: it's actually a thriller with Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Michael Emerson, and Tobin Bell. it's a campy cheesy low budget true to form horror film with adequate writing, good acting, AMAZING MUSIC BY CHARLIE CLOSER, and isn't over the top with gore considering it's all practical effects. top fucking notch but spawned a dozen terrible sequels.

Shaun of the Dead: it's a touching and heartfelt romantic comedy... with zombies, EXCELLENT CINEMATOGRAPHY, excellent acting, and sad parts that will rip your fucking heart out, stomp on it, and grind it to dust. literally one of the best movies ever made of all time, eat shit tarantino.

The Ring: eh, the original Japanese was better (Japanese horror is its own genre and not a part of this criticism, I actually really like original Japanese horror unfucked up by american audiences as long as it doesn't just gratuitously glorify suicide as Japan does), but this was still a really good mystery thriller with some really cool effects, and is the only movie that has ever actually scared me for real. even now I hate that there's a tv with a vcr right at the foot of my bed.

The Sixth Sense: shyamalan made a couple of good movies. this was one of them. but it wasn't a horror movie and if you didn't know the twist IT WAS A FUCKING AMAZING ONE. like, goddamn empire strikes back levels of supreme and god tier plot twists. it went a little overboard on shock value but compared to the rest of the COMPLETE BULLSHIT on this list (AND IN HIS OWN MOVIES) it really could've gone way further.

The Descent: goddamn claustrophobia. too much horribly cgi'd gore and terrible decisions to be truly enjoyable though. would've been a much better movie without the mutants and the middle finger to physics throat stabbing and the JUST FUCKING KICK IT YOU GODDAMN IDIOT and oh yeah the subtle misogyny. the first half was good tho

28 days later: shitty remake of a merely ok movie EDIT I was thinking of 28 weeks later, 28 days was actually okay I guess

Scream: did not age well but it's okay for being meta, despite the fucking torture porn of drew barrymore at the beginning. allowed for scary movie 1 though, so I'm glad it exists.

Paranormal Activity: PARANORMAL FUCKING ACTIVITY CAN EAT MY ASS, ITS SUCH A SUBLIME FAILURE OF EXECUTION. I WANTED IT TO BE GOOD BUT IT WASNT. oh well at least it inspired five nights at Freddy's. I'll go ahead and throw all shitty found footage movies under this one, including unfriended.

Blair Witch Project: a fucking pioneer of its time. a genre definer. truly scary. good movie. I'll go ahead and throw all good found footage movies under this one, including cloverfield.

The Shining: a thriller, not horror. but goddamn is it the scariest not horror movie ever made. Stephen king you magnificent bastard

Alien: goddamn fucking alien. science fiction masterpiece. director's a little creepy but eh, sigourney weaver kicks ass, and alien isolation is such a good game (despite its many flaws), and it's just so iconic in terms of sheer scope of concept. it's the same horror movie as anywhere else but in space, and I still can't fucking believe this was made in the 70s. this and Star Wars were FUCKING AMAZING, and the xenomorph? THATS ALL PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABEY. NO OVERRELIANCE ON CGI GUTS AND SHOCK VALUE HERE, ITS JUST PURE HORROR AT ITS FINEST. good movie. aliens was better. everything else... eeehhh...

The Thing: same as the descent but with men instead of women, and EVEN WORSE DECISION MAKING. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE JUST HOW GODDAMN STUPID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD POSSIBLY BE. and in the remake yeah the practical effects were mind blowingly fantastic and inspired dead space which I believe is one of the best horror games if not just best games or horror pieces of media if not just best pieces of media constructed. but the prequel? 🙄 no thanks

The exorcist: masterpiece of practical effects without an overreliance on jumpscares and gore

Jaws: it's Stephen fucking Spielberg in the 70s and one of the most influential horror films and just films in general

Hellraiser: okay I'll give all works by clive barker a pass here because goddamn is he a demented fucking genius if ever I saw one. if only Jericho was actually a good game, it could've been the next doom 3

Poltergeist: an actually good horror movie that depends on atmosphere and effects more so than jumpscares and gore? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

Evil Dead: campy but misogynist. the sequel was a comedy so it's okay. the next sequel is also a comedy AND ARMY OF DARKNESS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER FUCKING MADE. FIGHT ME. and fuck the remake. sam raimi should've retired after spiderman 3. maybe even before that.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: honestly not bad. it was actually freaky and believable. rednecks really are fucking scary with all their inbreeding and terrible music and hatred of black people. I refuse to acknowledge the original and the sequels.

Psycho: eh, hitchcock's worst is still better than most of the shit on this list.

The Wicker Man: OH GOD NOT THE BEES! AHHGUBLAHH MY EYES! AAAAAHHHHH!!! fucking excellent comedy. but it doesn't have any naked ladies in it like the original did. oh well, can't please everyone.

Night of the Living Dead: THOSE ZOMBIES ARE BULLSHIT. ZOMBIES CANT USE WEAPONS AND THEY SURE AS FUCK CANT TURN YOU INTO A ZOMBIE BY STABBING YOU WITH A TROWEL. THEY HAVE TO BITE YOU. FUCK YOU GEORGE ROMERO. Also, dawn of the dead was just sensationalist garbage. "They tore apart a real pig carcass tho so it looked like real intestines" what? the fuck??? who gives a shit????? I watch movies to escape from reality, dumbass. I don't beat off to chopped up human carcasses. If I want a zombie movie I want the walking dead sans the soap opera bullshit and the racism and then "no one is safe and everyone will die" boring mentality propagated by twd and got and other things I used to like but no longer care about (because why should I give a shit about it if everyone could die? I can already be sad enough about all the real people I know who die. enjoying the pain of the deaths of those important to us is a privilege the cishets have). the walking dead seasons 1&2 was pure horror and the very best kind. don't give me boring contrivances. "but sheena, night of the living dead was a trope definer! everything in it was original!" yeah, you know what else is original? *farting noise* George Romero is just rob zombie without a rock band. his best work was fucking call of duty. that's pathetic. "maybe you just don't like gore" HEY YEAH SURE I DONT WANNA SEE UBER REALISTIC INTESTINES AND ORGANS IF THEY ARENT PART OF A MEDICAL DEAL SO IM JUST A BIG DUMB HATER. I'm the one in the wrong. fuck me, right?

Don't Breathe: A FUCKING TURKEY BASTER FILLED WITH SEMEN. THATS SO STUPID I FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. BEST CRINGE COMEDY OF THE YEAR :D

Tremors: legitimately great movie with a hundred shitty sequels. like saw but your faves win so you walk away filled with determination rather than sad and disappointed. enjoyment of tragedies are a privilege awarded to those who are neurotypical.

Zombieland: gore done right. the only casualty is mindless zomzoms and bill murray. good. granted it counts as a romance and a comedy but honestly last time I watched it I cried at the part where you find out buck isn't tallahassee's dog. god I love that movie. AND FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS IS THE MOST BADASS MOVIE OPENER EVER.

The Fly: Jeff fucking goldblum. amazing effects for good reasons. need I say more? the original doesn't exist because 1950s horror movies are all bad because all 1950s movies are bad. the 1950s should just be purged from america's records except for pleasantville.

All other Stephen king movies: hit or miss but mostly still good. although very few are actual horror.

10 cloverfield lane: more of a thriller like above's misery but still an amazing movie.

Peeping Tom: literally a movie about how creepy it is to fetishize the deaths of women WHILE LITERALLY FETISHIZING THE DEATHS OF WOMEN. like, come on man. how do you miss your own point so completely?

Invasion of the body snatchers: it's not horror and if it's made to be horror using gore it's shit. the whole thing is just an allegory to the joe mccarthy communism witch hunts anyway.

Cube trilogy: the ultimate b movies. so bad they're good. and it's such an interesting concept too!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: fucking alien clowns come to earth to turn us into cotton candy by killing us using carnival fare. THIS IS THE GREATEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE.

All horror movies based on horror video games: either irredeemably bad, or action movies

All creepy Netflix horror movies: wow any idiot with a camera and basic cgi skills can throw shit together to make a movie these days, huh

The Slender Man: I am literally too pissed off about this movie to insult it.

Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, the Slender Man movie on YouTube: triumphs of meta, editing, found footage, proof of concept, and story. Slenderman is such a malleable entity for a perfect horror experience, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY FUCK THAT UP? YOUD HAVE TO BE INTENTIONALLY SABOTAGING YOUR WHOLE MOVIE TO FUCK IT UP AS BAD AS SOMEone who exclusively directs remakes... oh... oh no.

Wrong Turn: one mediocre movie and a dozen loathesome snoozefests coasting by on shock value

Troll 2:

oh god

they're eating her

and then

they're gonna eat me

...

oh my gooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Troll 2 is literally the worst movie ever made and I have to respect it for that at least)

but yeah, horror is just bad for movies. but for video games, though...

[auroraphilealis]

Can you please recommend me some good slow burn fics and/or chaptered fics. Thanks in advance xx

Are you READY?

Cause I have so many recommendations

Under the cut cause I went crazy

Give Me A Try @danfanciesphil - Dan, a bartender at ‘Habenero’, Brighton’s hottest gay club, has been obsessed with AmazingPhil, the openly gay Instagram model for a long time. In all the fantasy meet-cute scenarios Dan has imagined for he and his semi-celeb crush, none of them involved him being at work, being soaked in various liquids, or being halfway through a Saturday night hell-shift. Sometimes, life doesn’t wait around for your plans.

Ships that Pass in the Night @agingphangirl - Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

The Meaning of Love @phandomsub - Phil Lester is an intern at the British Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Neko – an organisation that focuses on rescuing abandoned or mistreated neko and rehabilitating them for re-adoption. He can’t say he fully agrees with the way many neko are treated, but in a world where they have no rights Phil has to agree that being someone’s pet is the best option for them. Then neko #504 is brought into the shelter and Phil finally realises just how alike humans and neko are. 

Here By My Side (A New Color to Paint the World)  - So one day, Phil walks in on Dan wearing a dress. And after a very confusing discussion, it comes out that Dan enjoys wearing girl’s clothing in private. Phil lets it be known that he’d be fine if Dan wore it around him and slowly, Dan starts opening up and letting Phil into his private world. But what Phil doesn’t expect is to start seeing Dan in a whole new way.

breathe and ill breathe (and im in love with you)  - A series of one-shots in which we explore various kinks. Said chapters will include biting, dirty talk, blindfolds, rimming, orgasm control/orgasm denial, spanking and scratching, orders and obeying, handcuffs and leg cuffs, breath play, and wax play.

Stirring in Love - @andthenshesaid-write When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn’t even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.This fic was nominated for the Phanfic Awards 2016 Best of the Best!

A Map of My Heart and Mind - Dan and Phil get drunk and wake up married in Vegas, the day after Dan’s 25th birthday. Dan thinks they could just get it annulled but Dan knows what marriage means to Phil, how important it is, and he wonders if they can just fake it for a year so it’s not a total waste and then divorce. Of course, a year is a long time to pretend to be married and things can always change…

Emergency Substitute @parentaladvisorybullshitcontent - “You could always charm Phil for us,” Jack suggests. “Throw him off his game.”“Right, yeah,” Dan says sarcastically. “Midway through the match I’ll just Summon his broom to me and he’ll fall off and then Gryffindor’ll automatically win.”“I didn’t mean that kind of charm,” Jack says, under his breath.In which Dan is roped into playing Quidditch when all he really wants is a quiet life. And for Phil to never leave Hogwarts.

Road to Acceptance Series @anerdwithakoreanhaircut - Dan never thought alcohol could bring anything but misery into his life, and…well, he was kind of right; the headache was painful and the memories of how he spent his 18th birthday were gone. He manages to break into someone else’s home. But it’s because of the alcohol he meets Phil, who impacts his life in more ways than one.

If You Think you Know Me @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.

Everything You Never Wanted - Phil is an omega, he’s spent nearly his entire life going to Eastbrook, an omega only school. When his parents make the decision to transfer him into an alpha,beta,omega school his whole life is turned upside down. Especially when he meets Dan Howell, an alpha who can’t seem to stand him. No matter how hard the two try to avoid each other the universe seems to keep pulling them together.

Our Threadbare Lies @ramonaspeaks - Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He’s ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got - All Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

Behind Closed Doors - Based very loosely on ‘A Little Princess’ and ‘David Copperfield’14 year old Dan Howell is sent away to boarding school leaving behind his abusive stepfather and incredibly ill mother. 17 year old Phil Lester is the school’s jack-of-all-trades who works his hardest under harsh circumstances to avoid the workhouse. The two boys meet and become close friends knowing they have to stick together if they are to survive the trials that lay ahead of them.

read between the lines (i will if you will) @phanbliss - Phil ^_^ (5:31 PM)Dan?danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (5:31 PM)yeah?Phil ^_^ (5:32 PM)I think I'm in love with youI justI can't wait to meet you--Skype conversations between Dan and Phil, leading up to their first meeting. 2009!Phan. Prepare for fluff.

First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) @phanbliss - Phil Lester goes back to university for his third year, expecting to live in the dorms with his childhood best friend PJ. That's how it's been for the past years, after all. However, due to a mistake of some sort, he finds himself with a new roommate to spend the semester with.Daniel Howell, three years his junior, has rich brown eyes, a laptop to hide them behind, and not more than two words to spare in Phil's direction. Phil is no fortune teller, but he foresees the upcoming months will be filled with a whole lot of awkward silence.Unless, of course, Dan proves him wrong...Could one little mistake lead to something entirely life-changing? Perhaps it could. After all, nearly everything changes when Phil meets Dan.-Excerpt: Dan's hair is soft against Phil's cheek, and his presence - gentle against his heart.Winner of Best Slow Burn in the Phanfic Awards 2016!

Reflections of the Heart - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

Love Yourself @imnotinclinedtomaturity - A lot of things about Dan's life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he's got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He's currently lacking inspiration, he's rather lonely, and he's stuck in a rut.Dan's been going to the same coffee shop for years. It's quiet, it's quaint, it's near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that's he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.

In My Way @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

Let Me Down Gently @ineverhadmyinternetphase - AU in which Dan is (briefly) a lawyer, until he gets fired and kicked out by his girlfriend. Wandering alone at night looking for a place to stay, he happens across a slightly strange man who introduces himself as Phil and who owns a B&B. Without much choice, Dan takes up the offer to stay there, and quickly grows to have a certain fondness for Phil. There’s only one problem: Phil runs the B&B with his long-term partner Alex.

jump a lil higher @snsknene - Dan co-hosts The Breakfast Show. Phil's his new producer. They fall in love, assisted by a bunch of romcom tropes I refuse to apologise for.

danandphilKINKS @snsknene - "I've got mine!" Dan said, waving it triumphantly. Phil knew this was serious, then, because a) he hadn't procrastinated on it at all, and b) it was barely legible: he'd handwritten it.Or: Dan and Phil have a bucket list. Except with less seeing the Great Wall of China and more Googling how to wash enema.

Strangers @waveydnp - dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he's all alone -- until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can't exactly not return it, can he?

a match and a fuse @waveydnp - Phil is twenty six years old and stuck in a dead end life. He works at Starbucks and may or may not be carrying a torch for his best friend of eight years. He doesn't know who he is or what he wants--or how to go about figuring it out.That all starts to change when he happens upon the resume of a certain law school grad named Daniel.

[karma-khaos]

Rough draft to my short film.

Fade in:

 EXT. Driveway- Dusk

GARRET, American mutt, mid 20’s, revels in dark humor, nihilistic commentary, and self-destructive behavior, refuses to cope with pain in a healthy manor, preferring to charge into impulse decisions with reckless abandon. Smalls sparks of his previous “happy” life style are quickly over cast by self-proclaimed pathetic despair. Dark when he doesn’t want to be, desperately wants this chapter to end.

[GARRET is walking up his drive way as he answers a phone call from his friend JOHN asking about the party.]

J: So dude, did you end up hooking up with that girl the other night at the party?

G:What girl? You know I never remember anything from nights like that.

J: That dime piece in the little black dress that was basically eye fucking you all night.

G:yea, not ringing any bells man, I honestly don’t know why you even bother asking my shit like this at this point.

J: Nah, you’d remember her, that girl was like a goddess.

“well im flattered, but goddess seems like a bit much.”

[As GARRET enters his room he see a beautiful girl sitting on his bed]

G: uh John, what exactly did that dime piece look like again?

[JOHN proceed to describe the girl sitting on GARRETS bed perfectly]

G: yeah, I got to go man, somthings popped up.

S:It’s Sam in case you forgot, obviously your little fuckboy friend did.

G: Um, what are you doing in my room?

S: I’m hurt. But if you need a reminder Garret, I’m here to help you end it all.

G: uh huh, ok yup. Look sweetie you got the wrong craigslist ad but it’s all good, I’m sure this shit happens all the time, so just let me get the door for you aanndd…

[as Garret turns around to get to open the door to his bedroom Sam suddenly appears in front of him]

G: woah what the fuck?!

S: You might not remember it but I’m here to help you end aaalll your suffering because you’re the one begging for it.

G: ok, ignoring whatever the hell just happened you’ve still got to have the wrong guy, you’re making it sound like I just wanna blow my brains out and I’m not interested.

S: oh poor baby.You might not be deepthroating the barrel of that little revolver you have buried in your sock drawer, but with the habits you’ve picked up the past few months…you’ve done nothing but cry for help. Just look at the damage you’ve put your body through.

All the drugs…

[Flashback to montage of GARRET doing various drugs]

Taking anything and everything  people offer you just try and pick yourself up out of a whole you dug self into. You start rolling away and dive head first into self-destruction, and for what? When it’s 4am, and your all alone high as kite driving the streets she’s never going to invite back over to vent on her front steps again.

[GARRET has a subtle hint of pure shock on his face, just trying to process details to memories he thought he didn’t have anymore.]

All the drinking…

[Flashback to montage of GARRET binge drinking]

Your poor liver. It’s only been maybe 6 months but I doubt your BAC has come down to a legal limit once has it?

Your friends…or at least the ones you have left must think you’re one of those real cultured hipsters with all you know about liquor.

But we know the truth, don’t we?

The only reason you know so much by now is because nothing works forever.

The rum won’t get you through the day anymore, the whiskey won’t help you sleep, and all your stories with tequila don’t end so cathartic, do they?

So now you just try to forget. By any means you can, you just drink and drink till every night’s a black out and every sunrise has to be met at the bottom of a bottle because alcohol poisoning sounds more appealing than facing your fucking problems.

[GARRET sits down on the bed, now visibly unable to comprehend how someone he thought was a stranger knows so much about him.]

[SAM seductively walks over to the bed, clearly with motive, mounts on top of GARRET and begins to whisper into his ear]

And the women…

[Flashback to montage of GARRET bringing different women back to his bed, like the way SAM is taking GARRET now.]

You can’t fill the void she left in you by filling up every girl with pretty face that smiles your way.

What was your plan?

Was fucking your friends supposed to make you feel better?

Was fucking HER friends supposed to make you feel better?

All the random little trollops you’ve found weren’t going to magically replace her.

But I suppose I can’t blame you, with a dick like that I can’t imagine id do things any differently;)

[GARRET pushes SAM off of him and gets up off the bed to finally confront her]

G: Alright that’s enough! I get it! I’m fucking bastard. And you clearly get that I’m a obvious mess too, so what the hell do you want?

S: I told you baby, I’m here to end all this pain you’ve been feeling.

[SAM’s eyes suddenly turn pitch black]

You see Garret, you swipe right enough on tinder and eventually you run into a girl like me. All I want is fulfill every fantasy you can imagine so that for a night you can forget all about your pain.

G:yea well you sound like a robot on tinder.

S: Perhaps, but I’m the real deal.

G: the real deal comes with a catch, so what is it.

S: No catch here, it’s a win/win.

G: Bullshit.

S: You get to have me; however you want for whole night and then a few days later I end all your pain. Then I move on to the next one, win/win.

G: stop being so vague and just fucking tell me!

[SAM erupts, cracks form around her eyes and mouth, manicured nails transform into talons]

S: I’m here for your soul you ignorant little heathen!

[GARRET now terrified on the floor in front of SAM]

G: Then….the why are we even having this conversation? Why didn’t you just kill me when I walked in?

[SAM now attempting to calm down]

S: Because, your different.

I’ve done this so many times and it always plays out the same way.

I look for the heart broken man, their the easiest prey.

They tell me their sob stories, I brighten their miserable lives for a night, and then I come back a few days later to simply take what they no longer value. Their soul.

And most of the time it’s not hard because they’re usually begging me to come back.

But you, oooohhh you. You’re an anomaly I just can’t get out of my head.

Sure there are men that hurt than you,

but your despair is like an intoxicating cologne I can’t escape.

The regret I taste on you is something I can’t resist.

The air around you is dark but greets me with a warm embrace.

Your pain excites me to no end,

But it’s this faint, awkward little glimmer of hope you don’t let anyone see that really gets me.

You force yourself to suffer with every moment you get to yourself, every time you picture her face.

But you don’t want her back.

G: I just want better for her…

S: But why?!

I can’t count on 1 hand how many women I can thing of who deserve a man like that and yet her you are just throwing it at her every day.

She only showed you compassion when it was convenient,

She was emotionally distant,

She was just using you for sex because, and I quote “You’re the only one who knows how to fuck me right.”

And to top it all off she cheated on you.

G: Yeah, and my emotionally wrecked response to that is really what ended that relationship.

S: A relationship she didn’t deserve!

Look, im supposed to come back here and just suck the life right out of you and move on.

But I want to offer you a deal instead.

Be mine,

Show me the endless passion you’ve shown this girl.

And I’ll help you forget.

The pain is like a scar and it never truly fades but I can make you forget her name,

Let you move on.

[GARRET stands to his feet and lets the choice weigh on him]

G: So all I have to do to keep my life, and spend the rest of eternity fulfilling all my fantasies with a smoking hot demon is let you make me forget her?

S: that’s right, anything you want.

G: well in that case,my answer is…..

No.

[SAM recoils from GARRET’s response]

S: are you fucking insane?!

G: yeah obviously.

S:This isn’t some indie art house short film!

You don’t get some magic award for being the most depressing, self-destructive glass cannon in the room!

G:This is simply who I am, and I’m tired of making decisions based on what other people think I am.

You’ve painted me in a dark and pathetic light But you need to get your fucking fakes straight.

I’m not some broken little play thing that needs to be rescued and fixed.

I may not have made the right choices to cope with my problems but they we’re still MY choices and I CHOOSE to live with them.

So you can take your offer and shove it up your ass.

[SAM licking her lips now]

S: MMmmmm, I would have let you do it had you chosen differently.

[SAM grabs GARRET by the throat, suspending him up against the wall]

What a shame, the good ones always make the worst decisions.

[GARRET smirks, as if somehow, he’s one a battle with his inner demons.  Camera fades to black as SAM’s claws swing toward GARRET’s throat.]

[joulethieves]

@majorasnightmare submission:

“i broke out my laptop for this get ready nerds here comes the angst and shit (and so the identity of shitpost anon is revealed; sorry for the poor formatting rip) so imma just copy what i first sent

tldr balthiers forever alone 5ever because his dad is rly?? not the best, always working always distant, theres no mom in the picture, no real friends to speak of (because lets be honest, jules is kind of an asshole), probably lives in a big house with lots of servants that never talk to him. so hes really used to being alone but every kid needs attention, and affection, and while i dont think cid was unkind per se i rly do think he wasnt winning any dad of the year awards. probably super neglectful and distant but not unkind (balthier does sound genuinely sad when talking about cids “descent into madness” indicating he does at least care a little). 

so balthier spends a lot of time trying to get his attention, probably acts out every now and then but the punishmnet not only from his dad but from other people is probably bad enough to thoroughly discourage it, and then baltheir realizes that when he does what his dad wants cid praises him and seems genuinely proud and baltheir thinks “thats it, this is the ticket” and just ends up building his personality and behaviors around doing what his dad expects and wants him to do, going so far to join the archadian army and become a judge (something he probably loathed because i rly doubt balthiers a rank and file take orders all the time kinda guy). 

so he suffers, internally, and is stressed as fuck because the expectations are high so his performance has to be higher, always better, always something his father can be proud of and he hates it, every last second but its the only way he can feel loved so he stuffs his feelings down and sucks it up. And then hes on an airship, hes flying, and the sky is so big its so wide it looks like it goes on forever. 

And as a judge, hes at the helm and he can feel how the ship reacts every time he moves, feels it tilt to the left, bob down towards the earth, soar up towards the heavens, and if he could just stay in this feeling forever he would. but there are expectations. responsibilities. his father, his country. he has to stay here, and perform his duties, like a good son, like a good soldier, but god if it doesnt kill him inside. and hes torn, so torn. because this is the first time hes ever wanted something, something for himself, and thats terrifying. how does he become his own person? does he even know if he wants this? and while hes stewing that over, tearing himself apart inside because how dare he want something for himself, but god if he isnt tired and miserable, he meets fran. and tbh, i really truly believe that if he hadnt met fran he would have stayed there. 

he meets this viera, during the course of his duties, while fran is traveling ivalice, mourning the loss of her Wood, her people, and her sisters, and they hit it off. they get along rly well, meet up a few more times, become close. close enough for balthier to talk about his concerns, his worries. ever since the feywood, his fathers been… off. he cant help but worry that hes slipping away, farther away then hes ever been. and this time, no matter how well balthier does, no matter how good he is, his father never comes any closer, just slips farther and farther away. 

And he wants to be free of it all, but his father needs him now more than ever, wouldnt it be selfish to leave? and fran listens carefully, and advises him to think, to be really certain, because if he leaves he can never come back and his ties to his past will be gone forever. and balthier does take her advice, and thinks long and hard about it. cut from his past, cut from his father, from his duties, his responsibilities, his country. cut from everything hes ever known. Freedom. And the longer he thinks, the more hes certain, this is all hes ever wanted, sweet freedom.

 So he takes frans hand and he says “come with me, please, i cant do this alone” and fran agrees and they run, and they fly, they take the strahl and go and never look back. he leaves his armor and his father behind, doesnt even say goodbye to jules, and just like that theyre gone. fran and balthier both find their freedom in the horizon, that endless stretch of sky.to cement it all, he changes his name, to truly hammer home that ffamran, son of cid, is dead and gone, never to return. he claims his new name, his new identity, his new personhood, and sails towards the sunset as balthier the skypirate, and fran finds her freedom as his companion and trusted friend, and they never reminisce until vaan. 

Vaan stares longingly at the sky and thinks of flying and craves the freedom that comes with it, and when balthier meets him, hes a little snappy, hes a little rude, because honestly, how dare he. Vaan brings up memories of home and everything he never had. Vaan is chained to rabanastre, not by duty, but by family, and balthier cant help but stare at them longingly. Everywhere he turns, there is more proof and evidence of it all. Migelo, penelo, old dalan, tomaj, kytes, even random people on the streets! 

“Vaan, be careful” “Vaan im worried” “Vaan are you okay?” “Ever since reks died, ive been worried about you, stay safe” over and over and over again, “vaan be safe, be free, we love you” everything hes never had, and this kid looks at all and says “i want to be away from it all in the skies” and balthier just wants to shake him, “Dont you know what youre leaving behind? Everything ive never had, everything ive ever wanted, why do you want to throw it all away?”

 Because balthier may be free, but the sky is endless and its ever so lonely without an anchor to the ground. And he truly understands frans advice, “be wary of the chains you break” because if vaan does this thing and leaves, you can never reforge them. But even then, his friend, this penelo, chases after him, keeps him grounded, keeps him anchored, and gods does it hurt because no one ever came after balthier, no one even noticed he was gone. 

He understands vaans need for freedom all too well, but is it worth the cost? Is it worth the price? If you leave this place vaan, always look back, remember what your leaving behind and always come back to it, take care of what you have, dont make our mistakes vaan. 

Dont cut these chains for good.