#your passion

[polesgirl]

For everyone in Ninjago Fandom..

Mine are, for example, painting pictures on canvas, writing poetry and philosophy...

[separatist-apologist]

Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.

[lelslizzylebs]

A Laios thought.

The two times we see him lash out is when people accuse him of not prioritizing his sister.

[sleepsucks]

[daveinediting]

I was gonna say that careers in my neck of the woods are subject to a lot of perception. A lot of preferences and assumptions. But I'm gonna guess that my industry and ones adjacent to it aren't the only ones susceptible to the way things look.

To be clear, central to my observation is the never ending struggle between perception and reality. Against which nothing and no one is immune.

In the story that was relayed to me, a group of young people were paying their dues working at a recording studio. They started at the bottom and did everything and anything that was needed... everything and anything that was asked for... and everything and anything that was about to be requested.

They were fast learners, quick on their feet, and passionate about the work they were doing. They were being paid to learn and do what they loved. They were living... the dream.

One day, a producer came in with a big project for the studio. Everyone was excited to be working on the project.

Except.

The producer requested a new crew. An experienced crew. An established crew.

Not the one that had learned their craft from the ground up at this studio.

So a new crew was brought in. At which point, the crew that had been working hard, biding their time for years, went to the head of the studio and asked: When’s is gonna be our time?

The immediate answer, of course, is that an established crew was requested by the client. End of story.

Further consideration, though, was problematic. Because if the crew was being seen as less than for just being the house crew regardless of their hard earned skill and experience... there really was no point in staying.

I don't know if they all left right then or if it was days, weeks, or a month... but leave they all did. Continuing their hard work and building successful careers elsewhere. Far from the perceptions that once held them back.

This was all once upon a time, of course. It happened so long ago that they laugh off the experience.

However. 

It's hard for me to see it that way because it seems like a professionally existential experience especially when you look at it through the lens of starting a career you're passionate about. It's hard for me to laugh it off like that because even from this distance it seems exquisitely personal. And it's hard for me not to be taken back by the patent unfairness of what happened even as I tell you that's how the world works.

Sometimes.

Maybe often.

My point being that it's important to judge the circumstances into which we commit our time and ability... as well as the people into whose hands we commit our careers. Especially as a picture of what we want from our careers comes into focus. Because once it does, that insight absolutely excludes certain professional circumstances. That insight absolutely excludes certain personalities whether they be worker bees, admin, or the CEO.

To take a page from management, hey. It's not personal. It's just business. The business of my career. Of yours.

Now, much like my early impressions about the practice of networking, characterizing a career as a practice of business also sounds artificial. It's certainly a cold view of the world. What it is, really, is a way of figuring out, as quickly as possible, where you don't belong. Because there are plenty of places, plenty of people who are simply not a fit. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that reality. In fact, it's crazymaking to not acknowledge that reality. It would be like staying in a toxic relationship. Ish. 

Let's also keep right at the forefront of our minds the kind of environment in which we want to land and the kind of people with whom we want to live out our passions.

That's not nothing, by the way. It's a Life. A good one, a great one when you're surrounded by a group of friends in the same industry, with the same passions, pursuing the same goals. It's amazing when each and every one of you is invested in the success of the other, thereby making each other better with each day and each project..

It absolutely makes a difference and it's definitely life changing if this isn't what your career feels like or has never felt like. 

So yeah. It is fair to judge the quality of your work environment and the people you work with... with the express objective of figuring out where you don't belong. It is fair to not like this experience or those people on your way to figuring out where you belong.

In the end, it's not the job itself that makes your career, it's the job and the people you work with and for.

So getting those three elements rightly aligned is well worth the effort of gauging your every step along the path to that career.

Amen.

[liesandnights]

Stop shaming people for being passionate about the things that they love. Stop mocking people for having unusual interests. Like, honestly, I’m so tired of feeling embarrassed for being "too much". If being too much means having deep interests that fill my life with romanticism and excitement, then let me be!! I’d much rather listen to anyone ranting about their latest obsession with 16th century swords than have a boring ordinary conversation with those who shame passionate people.

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[somerandomdudelmao]

Heeeey @tapakah0

Happy birthday:D

[loneleeghost]

“true that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me”

[her-dirty-sins]

my safe place

[lunacelebrateslife]

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[poppy-metal]

MARRIAGE COUNSELING W ART PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD THE DEVASTATION THAT TAKES PLACE ON THAT COUCH

i think about it alot. tashi staying with patrick, her injury never happening. your arts college girlfriend and now you're married and it feels fucking stagnant, your relationship. but neither of you wants to give up. neither of you wants to reveal to the other true feelings.

under the cut because this got long and i have a whole au in my hear around this concept

you're only in counseling because of tashi. because shes still in your lives, her and patrick. and she recommended it to art when they were having one of their 'friend' lunches. and now here you are, because of course art took her advice.

he hasn't said anything, though. despite pleading for this. saying he wanted to save your marriage, that he wanted to love you how you should be loved but he didn't know how.

so here you are, on opposite ends of the couch, with the counselor staring at the empty space between you like that in itself is very telling. you suppose it is, in a way. couples who want to stay together should be unified, shouldn't they? you imagine how it would feel, if art had sat next to you. put an arm around you. squeezed you to his side. would you even be able to relax into him? its been so long since you touched eachother that way.

"so im picking up on some distance here," your therapist says. shes a small woman. almost swallowed by her chair. her glasses are perched on her nose as she gazes imperiously at empty space separating you and art. "not just physical either, though thats rather obviously there. but emotional distance. do either of you wanna comment on that?"

you cut a glance at art, expecting him to speak up since this was his idea - well. tashi's. but he just looks down at his lap, quiet. spins his wedding band around his finger.

you feel an anger so intense it pricks your eyes with tears.

"well, i guess you could start with the fact that coming here wasn't even either of our idea. it was his friends."

and now. here art speaks. his head jerks up and she shoots you an annoyed look. "you don't have to say it like that. you always say it like that. her name is tashi and she is my friend. and it was her suggestion, yeah, but it was a good one."

you look at the therapist - janet. raise your eyebrows in arts direction like, get a load of this guy. your legs cross and you start picking at a stray string from the couch.

"first words of the session and its to talk about another woman."

arts inhale is sharp and you can feel his eyes on you but you dont look at him. you can't. you wont. you're right, anyway. he can try to deny it all he wants but you know - you know what you are to him. you know where all your problems stem. you dont need to be here to make any grand discoveries over a fact you've resigned yourself too.

"i see." janet says. "and art having a relationship with this other woman upsets you."

"everything upsets her." art cuts in, sounding tired. his elbow is braced on the arm of the couch and hes chewing on his thumb in one of his nervous gestures. he always did that, as long as you've known him. he was a nail biter, he'd chew his lips raw, he'd nibble on straws, the ends of his pens. he was either lost in thought or agitated. your guess was the latter. "nothing i do makes her happy."

"is this true? are you unhappy with art?"

your skin feels hot. you shift around in your seat. the attention is all on you, and it feels like you've done something wrong, even though you know its literally janets job to ask questions.

"more like i know I'm not what he wants and that makes me...... really fucking sad."

art knees almost knock against yours as he turns his body to face you, giving you his full attention the first time today. you cant meet his eyes still, so you look at the faded spot on his jeans. light blue, like his eyes. you wonder how hes looking at you. cant make yourself look up to see.

"what." he stops. seems to gather some thoughts. tries again, with a steadier tone. "what are you talking about."

you try not to roll your eyes. your arm flings out limply.

"just that this whole thing is a joke, art." and you let out an exasperated laugh, even though nothing is funny. nothing has been funny or light between you two in a long time. "we're only here because the girl you really wanted to marry, told you to get your fucking shit together. you didn't ask us to come here because you wanted to mend something, you're here to please tashi. because if playing a good husband is a role she wants for you - well, you want to play it right, dont you?"

its quiet after that. in the silence you cant help but think about those early days. when you'd been full of love and light and art seemed to be really happy with you. you'd go on dates to the movies, walk through the park together with your hands swinging between you. laugh together and steal kisses whenever you could. you felt high back then.

it didn't even matter that art had a crush on tashi, because hell, you had one too, at the time. but she'd started dating patrick, and they seemed to mesh well together. they were both so intense and passionate. back then, you'd been alot closer to tashi yourself. patrick too. you remember the way she'd rant about how much she fucking hated him, pacing around your room and calling him every name under the sun. and you'd sit there with eager curiosity, and ask her why she didn't end it then. if he makes you so angry, why stay?

and she'd get this faraway look in her eyes. kind of wistful. kind of sad. kind of happy.

"because he makes me feel fucking alive. hes like a - like a drug or something. i cant quit. its addictive, you know?"

that stuck with you. it still sticks with you. you remember being envious of that kind of passion. youe relationship with art had always been so easy. you dont think you'd ever fought by that point. you loved art. you felt safe with art. but were you addicted to him? if you broke up - would you feel withdrawal symptoms?

sometimes you layed awake at night and thought about starting a fight - breaking up for no reason. just to see if he'd fight for you back, if the missing of eachother would be so intense one of you would cave.

but somehow you knew that wouldn't be the case. thats just not how you and art operated. if you got angry, he wouldn't rise to meet you, he'd back down. if you ended things, he wouldn't chase you, he'd let you go.

patrick and tashi were fire and brimstone and you and art was ice and you were....... dirt. solid. walked upon. dependable and not at all exciting.

when art had proposed to you after college graduation it wasn't spur of the moment as it had been with patrick when he'd swept tashi up with a ring and a elopement to vegas. it was talked about and agreed upon and you knew it was coming.

you still said yes.

"you think," and arts voice has a barely concealed tremble to it that makes you look up, finally. you're shocked to see he looks wounded. so many of his expressions you can count on one hand - and this - this wasn't one of them. his eyes are dark, stormy. "you think i dont care about our marriage beyond what someone else has to say about it? you really think that?"

you hate the sliver of guilt you feel, because its not a crazy thing to feel.

"yeah, i really do."

because well, that's the truth of the matter isn't it? you and your husband stare at eachother. and it feels like you're looking at a stranger. not the man who's freckles you used to kiss. who's fears you knew. who's hands you know every callous of, every divot and fingerprint.

"it seems you two have very different views of how the other views this marriage." janet cuts in, sounding curious. she taps her pen against the open notepad on her lap. "art, would you like to chime in on why you wanted to come here? even at the suggestion of someone else?"

art stares at you for a long moment. his face is unreadable to you. his jaw works before his chest expands on an exhale and he looks away.

"i guess i - i just didn't realize how..... stagnant things had gotten until it was pointed out to me. harshly." he winces, and you wonder exactly what tashi had to say to him. you haven't talked to the other woman for some time. contact fizzling out after your marriage to art. he flicks a glance to you, then away again. "im not the best at being aware of shit going on around me." his hand comes up to rub nervously at his neck. "i guess you could say im good at brushing things under the rug. going through the motions. that sort of thing."

janet nods like this makes sense to her. well, great, you think. you know my husband more than i do.

"you're not a fan of confrontation, are you?"

art actually laughs. a genuine one. one that brings a dimple to his cheek and flashes his teeth. you stare at it, like its an exotic animal, and you wont see it again. quickly you catalog the expression in your memory, so you dont forget what he looks like when hes happy.

"yeah, no." he shakes his head. "but I think thats part of the problem. I've obviously let too much shit get put under the rug and now its so full other people are noticing."

you look down at your hands, lips pressed together. your face burns at the knowledge that tashi and by extension - patrick - know your marriage is in shambles. how embarrassing, to be caught lacking in such a momentous way. to come up short and have your husbands friends know about it. you wonder - does he talk about all the ways you make him miserable with them? does patrick shake his head, say, "she's sucking the life out of you, man." does tashi look at him with pity? like hes some poor abused cat that needs to be let in from the rain?

the rain of your marriage.

the rain of you.

you're the storm. you're the problem. you're not enough. art needs fire. you're not even dirt, you're glass. and you can feel yourself breaking.

"that clearly hit a nerve, my dear." janets voice is soft. soothing. she hands you a tissue and you realize you'd begun to cry. "do you want to explain what you're feeling about what art said?"

"i...."

you dab dab dab at your eyes. sniffle. look around the room, trying to collect your thoughts. they feel like flyaway dandelions. you dont know which of them to grasp.

a warm hand settles over yours in your lap and you startle. its arts hand. warm and calloused and tan, covering yours. the gold glint of his wedding ring winks at you, the engraved words etched into them, "my soft epilogue". a shortened version of your favorite qoute i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love.

at the time, that's what art was to you. your life before him hadn't been easy. being with art had felt like coming home from a long day and falling into a soft bed. it had felt like being able to land after weeks of being made to fly.

you turned your palm up, so he could slide his fingers between yours. he squeezed your hand.

"i think, i. i think i just think - I'm a failure." your bottom lip wobbles. you look at your enterwoven fingers and it makes you so sad that you haven't done the simple gesture of holding your husbands hand in months. "the two most important people in your life are. are so passionate and loud. and i see. i see how happy they make you - and i cant - i cant b-be that for you. we aren't - im not - you dont need me. im not a limb for you how they are. you could extract yourself from me and be. be happier."

your breath shudders out of you.

"you don't need me." you echo.

you wait for him to pull his hand away. this is more than you thought you'd share. some of it you weren't even aware of till the words were spilling from your lips. but they ring true.

without patrick and tashi art would drown. without you..... he'd float just fine.

"and that's important to you." janet says. a statement not a question. "you want to feel needed by art, and you feel as though you aren't. that his needs are met better with his friends than with you."

you nod slowly.

"baby." the word sends a shock through you. not the word itself but how its said. art calls you baby all the time, in a monotonous kind of way. routine. now he says it softly. with feeling. he lets go of your hand in favor of cupping your cheek, still damp with tears, turning your face to his. he looks pained. "of course i need you. i know i haven't been good at showing it. i just - you shut down - after we got married. you've been like a fucking ghost. like you dont want me to touch you. like i could dissappear for all you care and you'd just carry on. i don't know. but i need you, okay? i. need. you."

both hands cup your face, he makes you stare right into him. the conviction in his voice takes your breath away. theres a fire burning there you've thought long put out.

"obviously we have shit to sort out, and we will. but you've got to. you've got to know that. tashi only pushed me to do this because she how - how desperate i was. that's all."

you inhale deeply. exhale. swallow hard. tears cling to your lashes. you reach a hand up to clutch at one of arts wrists. eyes fluttering automatically when you do. you feel grounded again. less like you might float away.

"okay."

"yeah?"

"yeah...." and you smile. it trembles across your lips. but its there. "we'll sort our shit."

art lets out a relieved breath. kisses your forehead, lingering there. the gesture so tender you get emotional again. you want to crawl into his lap, have him wrap you in his arms. you want to feel held by him, like you used to.

"our time is up." janet sets her pen down. smiles. "but i think that was a wonderful first session. i can see the love between you hasn't faded, and that's more i can say for alot of couples who come to see me. keep your chin up."

[theeroticlover]

Mhmm !!! Me and you, Naa, mhnm me in you ...mhmm

[kabukiaku]

giving you the eyes. 😏✨💜

left this bad boy in drafts for too long. it was time I cleaned it up. I went crazy with the lighting. I wanted it to be dramatic, like Terzo!

[meo-eiru]

ich liebe Silas so sehr. Ich habe ihn sogar allen meinen Freunden, meinen Cousins und sogar meinem Schwarm gegenüber erwähnt. Aber ich kann ihnen nicht zu viel gestehen, deshalb bekenne ich hier als anonymer Benutzer meine Sünden.

ich möchte so sehr an seinen Titten saugen. ich möchte, dass er auf meinem Gesicht reitet, bis ich ersticke. ich möchte, dass er in jedem Moment, in dem wir zusammen sind, mit mir rummacht. ich möchte sein Sperma essen, trinken und darin schlafen.

ich brauche Silas. ich brauche seine großen Titten in meinem Gesicht. ich brauche seine Schenkel um meinen Kopf. ich brauche, dass er mich in seinen Armen trägt, während ich mein Gesicht in seinen riesigen, himmlischen, engelsgleichen Brüsten vergrabe.

ich liebe Silas, verdammt noch mal. Ich liebe ihn so sehr.

und von Elias will ich gar nicht erst anfangen. Gott, ich will ihn. Verdammt. Ich bete für den Tag, an dem ich jemanden treffe, der so schön und perfekt ist wie er. Dieser Tag ist der Tag, an dem die Welt Frieden sehen wird. Oh mein Gott, ich liebe Elias. Ich will ihn reiten. Nein, ich will, dass er mich reitet. Ich will, dass er mich an eine Wand kettet und mir sagt, wie sehr er mich liebt. Ich will ihn. Ich brauche ihn.

Und, oh Mann, Micah? Oh, verdammt. Oh ja. Wann immer ich mich entscheide, mir ein Tattoo zu machen, wird sein Gesicht auf meinen Rücken tätowiert. Er wird für immer auf mir sein. Ich liebe ihn. Ich begehre ihn. Es ist mir egal. Er kann mich manipulieren, einsperren, erniedrigen.

ES IST MIR EGAL! ICH BRAUCHE IHN. ICH BRAUCHE VERDAMMT NOCH MAL MICAH. ICH BRAUCHE ELIAS. ICH BRAUCHE SILAS. SCHEISSE. SO PERFEKT. ICH KANN ES NICHT MEHR ZURÜCKHALTEN.

Danke fürs Zuhören.