#zeke slander

[chuuyaandreaderkilldazai]

[incorrectsnkships]

i was making pancakes but burned one and caused a mini fire because i was slandering zeke on twitter

[keischreiber]

Thinking about Zeke in a modern AU being the CEO of a massive pharma that's centered around contraceptives and birth control. He didn't even start it himself, but he inherited it from a certain Dr. Tom Ksaver who acted more like a father to him than his shitty old man ever did.

[erudianokabe]

People would choose Grisha? Over Keith? Willingly?

Heathens. Atrocious.

[hellavile]

The people be saying Eren looks like he smells but don’t talk about how Zeke looks like he smells like 10 cans of bounce that ass 🤷🏾‍♀️

zeke is literally a monkey. i’m sure he smells like shit. eren is the second cleanest to levi in aot. we’ve already discussed this multiple times idk why people keep saying he dirty lmao.

[mangosimoothie]

Inspired by the “cooper only dates black girls” anon i think that’s the following sims: zeke and azul

PLEASE 😭

Ok I’m gonna sound controversial and problematic when I say this but 1) I am controversial and problematic and 2) the black girls following me will know what I’m talking ab, BUT ~woke~ black guys like zeke have ALWAYS dated at least a couple white girls 💀 iykyk and iswis

Azul: correct lmao tbh that’s canon

[sncwonthebeach]

no, cause everytime i see jared on my screen i get upset-

[cornfields-td-nonsense]

this arc has everything... mod hating on women... transphobia... Ezekiel mentions...

It only has 1 out of those things (where tf did transphobia come from what)

[claudemblems]

There's only been 3 episodes of JJK season 2 released so far and I already almost cried

AND WOW I HATE TOJI SO MUCH OMG :)))))) ISNT HE JUST THE WORST THING YOUVE EVER SEEN :)))))))) TEEHEE

Like bro my jaw literally dropped at the end of the episode it gave me so much whiplash

[chuuyaandreaderkilldazai]

overheard incorrect quote

hange: you suck.

levi: and you’re ugly.

erwin: he looks like he has a bad credit score.

levi: this guy’s not getting a loan.

zeke: :(

[melishade]

Me after Reading the Optimus Dinobot what if

Love your what ifs

Previous Episode of the Dinobot Timeline

I guess this is a timeline now lol

So Optimus is obviously in hot water for not revealing this form to the Survey Corps and Megatron, even though he has explained that he can't control it. Hanji immediately wants to run experiments, but the Survey Corps has to take care of the coup. The bad news is that the ruling party got wind of Optimus' chaotic form and used that to slander Optimus' name throughout the public. Now the titan that was lauded as being a Savior was now being seen as someone to be feared.

It makes Optimus feel bad, obviously. All that hard work and he's being scorned and ridiculed. He can't blame the humans for their fear. However, the Survey Corps and Megatron are obviously pissed off for this injustice.

Reiner and Bertholdt are still in the Survey Corps, helping them out and obviously buying time to try and get at least Annie back. Pieck managed to worm her way into the outer rim of the rulers of the inner wall. So she's getting a substantial amount of information. Specifically about Annie's location and their experimentations on her, Eren holding both the Founding Titan and the Attack Titan, and Historia Reiss being of royal blood. Meaning the most valuable players that could turn the tide in this war and make up for the loss were standing right there. Zeke and the Jaws were no doubt a small price to pay if they could somehow get Annie, Eren, and Historia.

Rod is still able to successfully replicate the energon serum and use it on Annie while also making spares of the energon. Pieck, being closer to the inner circle, is able to find Annie, free her and take her out right before Armin, Mikasa, and Megatron get there. Pieck also manages to spot a spare energon titan serum and grabs it before bolting. Armin, Megatron, and Mikasa don't find Annie, but after a little more digging, the trio find notes on the energon serum, and now there's more of an urgency to find where the rest of the serums are and where Annie is.

The coup itself plays out like it does in the anime, not like in AOP. Because Optimus is currently feared for his titan form, Hanji thought it would be unwise to use him, and the people of Trost probably wouldn't rally behind him when marching to Sina considering what they've learned.

So the Survey Corps and Megatron break into the underground cavern to get Eren and Historia back. However, Pieck is close by, debating her options on whether to take the energon serum. She knows if she doesn't, the chance to take Eren and Historia are gone. But, she has to take a chance. Pieck takes the serum and transforms into her titan form, busting through the ceiling of the underground cavern, startling everyone. They try to use their weapons on her, but because of the energon, she's immune. The Survey Corps have to take cover, but Reiner and Bertholdt use the distraction to get to Eren and Historia. Megatron sees this and immediately bolts after them.

But because of Pieck, there's a delay. And Historia still makes the decision on her own to judo flip Rod while Kenny is watching in delight. But Rod still takes the energon serum and becomes that massive titan with energon in its system now. Kenny manages to leave unscathed because his team isn't coming in to break his focus. Reiner and Bertholdt come in to 'help' rescue Historia and free Eren. And as they're ready to bolt out of there, Megatron screams at Eren and Historia to run before fatally shooting Reiner in the neck. However, Reiner uses whatever energy he has left to transform into his titan form to take Bertholdt, Historia, and Eren out of there. Megatron is ready to pursue in his bipedal mode, but there's the matter of the Survey Corps still being in danger and the massive lumbering titan heading towards one of the walled towns. Pieck does manage to catch Reiner in titan form running away and quickly bolts after him, surprised at how fast she's able to run now. Reiner gets out of his titan form and he and Bertholdt take a depressed Eren and screaming Historia away. The Survey Corps do manage to escape the rubble, and so does Kenny, but not his team as they get crushed. Megatron informs them all that Reiner is a titan shifter and he took Eren and Historia. Ymir quickly turns into a titan and bolts after them, ignoring the screams of her comrades. She barely manages to see Pieck climbing over the wall and screams Historia's name in titan form, while Historia screams Ymir's name.

Normally, the Survey Corps would have pursued, but again, Rod's titan form. They have to focus their resources there to prevent civilians from being killed. Megatron and Optimus end up tag teaming to take out Rod's titan form with the civilians in the walled town watching. Optimus also uses his Dinobot form during the battle, and everyone is in awe to see Optimus and Megatron work together like this.

When it's over, Ymir informs them in sorrow that Historia and Ymir have been captured by Marley, and everyone is devastated, but Megatron is the one asking what Marley is. Ymir explains that's its the most powerful nation in the outside world, and that humanity is not extinct at all.

A few notes:

-The monarchy government is replaced with the military government, but because of the Survey Corps actions and Optimus and Megatron's battle prowess, the public don't seem to mind them being in power. Megatron and Optimus were able to prove they are trustworthy.

-Because Reiner and co flee to Marley, the Survey Corps are able to retake Wall Maria with no casualties, using Optimus, Megatron, and Ymir to eliminate the titans.

-Kenny's been captured and interrogated for obvious reasons, but Kenny is willing to spill what he knows. Specifically how Eren's father Grisha stole the power of the titans from Rod years ago. With Mikasa's help, they do find the basement and manage to pry open the drawer with the notebooks with brute force. And they get more history about the current outside world since Ymir's knowledge is no doubt outdated.

-Ymir, Armin, Mikasa, and Optimus are the most devastated out of the loss of Eren and Historia for obvious reasons.

-Megatron does notice the photo and how the kid looks similar to Zeke, now that he's completely healed. No one actually knew Zeke's name up until the notebook's discovery. So Megatron brings it up during interrogation of Zeke. He brings up his name first, which gets a visible reaction. Then Megatron shows the picture, which Zeke is surprised by, then Megatron brings up Grisha Jaeger by name, pointing at the standing man. Zeke realizes that the Founding Titan is being held by Eren Jaeger, his brother and decides to offer his help to the Survey Corps on the condition he be granted immunity. Megatron questions why he should even bother doing that, and Zeke retorts that if Marley has both someone of royal blood and the Founding Titan, that it's only a matter of time before they get around the vow renouncing war. They need him in order to stop Marley's continued reign over the world and the abuse of Eldians everywhere. Megatron says he'll run it by the military first.

(Man this was not something I was not expecting with the Dinobot timeline)

[violexides]

i have never met another Iraqi person that wasn’t family in my entire life and i have never had a Muslim community whatsoever in school online or otherwise and I have to introduce myself as Middle Eastern (if at all since some places still call me white) instead of Iraqi and that people will still guess me being from 10 different ethnic backgrounds over Middle Eastern and that everywhere i go there is permeating Islamophobia that i never really know who my allies are because at the end of the day 9/11 jokes are “more important” than the Islamophobia that followed the event and attacking Christianity with Islam as collateral is “more important” than addressing how suppressed Muslims are in the western world. getting time off for Christmas is “more important” than giving a single day absence from finals/AP tests for Ramadan just one day much less the whole month.

people are more concerned with slandering every Muslim than addressing the fact that there are authoritarian theocratic regimes that kill non-Muslims and addressing that a religion can be inherently harmless and still be used as a weapon by regimes. that forcing people to believe in anything is wrong, what is happening in these governments is a human rights violation at the minimum, and that Muslims out the world are not singlehandedly at fault. but hey whatever makes white people feel performative about human rights crises. 

(speaking of human rights crises, there’s a genocide of Muslims that is still happening in China. by the way. that nobody has talked about.)

this isn’t the best wording I’m a little pissed right now but i have been. SO isolated my ENTIRE fucking life. people are only willing to accept Islam for as long as they can to look like an activist and then immediately call me brutal in the face of trying to look performative elsewhere

i’m so sick and so tired and so exhausted of my religion being something to hide. of not being allowed to write about it in college essays because i don’t know who might read it. of having to smile and nod when people call me Latino for the thousandth time even after us knowing one another for 3 years. of trying to tell someone i’m from Iraq and them going “oh like ISIS!” (thanks for that one, zeke.)

i have privilege in this country because i know it is so much worse elsewhere but im so sick and im so tired and I would give up everything in the world just to meet another Iraqi person. and not have to cling to the same book of a short play about Iraqi women in an attempt to substitute for that connection.

okay to reblog. encouraged to reblog, but do whatever the fuck you want its your blog. ps i know that other religions/ethnicities experience intense aggressions too but please do not derail this post. thank you.

[comedyl0ser]

Lovely OC/headcanons :P

guess what xyrs favourite colour is. i bet you wont get it

Slovenian

ginger (im in love with the shape of you)

never fails to scare the living shit out of Zeke (Tank)

has heterochromia, and a coloboma iris in the right eye

academically smart but lacks a shit ton of common sense (i will never not slander this weirdo)

the bat wings in xyr logo is actually a tattoo xe got on xyrs back when they were like 19

has a weird habit of just grabbing onto random fabrics they like the texture of. including if it someones clothing

xe'll just hold onto said clothing until the person wearing the clothes swats xem off

gossips with Zory (Angel) a lot

right fang has broken off

that audio where xe punched Porter, i just imagine they jumped to even reach his face

watches House (it mildly disturbed Vincent when he first saw xem watching it)

literally has the quietest feet ever and even the other vamps cant hear xem when they walk around

has also startled Redd (Sweetheart)

also yes, Vinn. Pollux is single

[materialgworlas]

Unhinged screenshots without context: AOT Edition

Was looking back at my old posts laughing my ass off cuz im so damn funny n thought I'd share my favourite ones

If u like these n wanna see the full post go to @samsungwasmyidea

AnYwAys-

F33T:

☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆☆*

EMO REINER x ZEKE SLANDERR<3:

☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆☆*

Ass slashers turned ZEKE SLANDER :

taglist: @vallidity @im-alyssa-btw @wyvernslovecake @notgoodforlife @onthearrow @dragonqueen2009 @quiveringdeer @alexxistiredd @lady-cryptstone @daoreogirl @emeraldrhee-grimes @aotwritingss @imperialabysssins @duchessavalentino @bitchkay @seokjin-bby

[oxygenbefore1775]

AoT Warriors At A Christmas Market

a/n: i dont know if christmas markets are a thing in the us, they are in europe, though

Annie

likes to wander the rows with shops and often buys either a christmas ornament or a candle to remember this holiday season by

sometimes, if annie's cravings act up, she may enjoy a gingerbread, she always buys the one in the shape of a heart (no sentiments here, it's just the biggest one available)

if there's a belltower nearby, annie would climb it up to enjoy the view of the christmas market splayed out beneath her

Bertholdt

eggnogg is bert's beverage of choice at a christmas market - he often likes to hold the mug with both of his hands to warm his fingers

when he accidentally gets drunk (which happens quite often), in his ramblings bert would often slander the commercialization of christmas and how shitty it is how you need to buy stuff in order to feel the spirit of christmas

invites annie to the ice rink for totally-not-a-date but while skating bert collapses on the ice so much with annie having to pick him up so the "date" ends up ruined

Colt

never skips the day when they light up the christmas tree on the town square

too broke to buy anything for himself or falco so he just substitutes it with staring at the rows of christmas goods

is coaxed into drinking together with bert and pieck and colt agrees, mainly because he wants to be like cool kids and mingle with the people he respects

Pieck

takes every type of beverage sold at the market but doesn't return the mugs under the deposit - pieck has her own collection of christmas themed cups and she adds to it every holiday season

takes pictures with all of the warriors making wear them silly headbands so she later could make a christmas card out of the photos (or use them as blackmail, who knows)

can distinguish between the mulled wine from different kiosks and can tell whether or not a certain kiosk sells wine from diluted store-bought mulled wine concentrate

Porco

steals an ornament from the town square christmas tree

does most of the gift-shopping at christmas markets because otherwise in day-to-day life he would forget

passive-agressively challenges reiner as to who can drink a mug of mulled wine the fastest (reiner accepts only because he wants porco off of him); ends up losing because he constantly chokes on the giant hot gulps of mulled wine

Reiner

reiner likes to watch the play - mainly because gabi and falco are often the part of the performance

the kids convince him to go on the carousel (cuz all that it takes to be happy is a carousel ride, apparently) but he's too heavy for any of the horses so he ends up awkwardly standing next to one

drinks solely alchohol-free mulled wine (aka Kinderpunsch) since it's sweeter and mulled wine makes him light-headed too quickly

Zeke

themed christmas markets are zeke's cup of tea - especially the ones with medieval aesthetic

wears the ugliest sweater for the outing - he and Pieck have a competition for wearing a sweater with the most obnoxious pattern

little kids often mistake him for Weihnachtsmann (or Santa if you speak english); he's happy to ruin their childhood for them and say that santa is not real

[spiteless-xo]

STOP SLANDERING MY MAN. ENOUGH. https://x.com/normalgirl53/status/1726317075218465200?s=20 this is jean btw

link

💀💀💀 tbaw!jean is the bane of my existence he has practically ruined jean for me because i hate him so much

he's even worse than tbas!zeke because at least i still wanted to fuck zeke. i just want misery for tbaw!jean and i'm TIRED OF HIDING IT

(altho your and @shepnicolo's posts about dilf!jean is helping re-ignite my crush on jean so tyvm because he is my baby my love)