tdmcaker

[tdmcaker]

My partner and I are brainstorming a DC Fanfic story about a tailor living in Gotham and catering to the darker underbelly for their clientele. It's been a beloved brain child to me for ages, but I'm not the best writer, so hopefully, with our forces combined, we can make something neat. If/when the first part is posted, I definitely want to share it for others. I'd love to see some other people's ideas and theories for it

[tdmcaker]

ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

[tdmcaker]

i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive

[tdmcaker]

Jason: *looking at a bunch of colorful crochet blankets laid over Dick’s bed* oh, these are pretty nice. I didn’t know you could crochet Dick: thanks, they’re my trauma blankets Jason: Jason: they’re what Dick: y’know how some people stress bake? Namely, you? Jason: . . . yeah . . . Dick: well. I crochet. So *points to a blanket* see that one there? The red one? That was when Bruce died. The blue one was after Spyral. The orange one was actually right after my parents died, that’s my oldest one. And the one right there that I’m still working on is ‘cause I’m depressed as fuck and my therapist is on vacation so she told me to crochet her a blanket Jason: Jason: what the fuck, dude

[tdmcaker]

they're a fun trio

[tdmcaker]

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

[tdmcaker]

Ewwww

[tdmcaker]

Raw, next question

the fact I can't even try to rizz up Sasha is criminal, by the way

[tdmcaker]

pictured above; me accidentally talking myself into wanting to see a zoe and milo friendship

[tdmcaker]

jason: *turns corner after stopping a mugging and sees he's actively getting tire-jacked*

jason:

street kid:

jason: *getting prepared to just let the kid have the tire* any chance you're gonna put that back on?

kid: *eyes narrow* maybe. your name red hood?

jason: uh . . . yeah? *gestures to hood* i'm decently sure

kid: *screws tire back on* here ya go then, mister. sorry about that. i didn't know this was your bike.

jason:

kid:

jason: *hands her a flier for a shelter* ya can go here, kid. they'll help. call me if you ever get into any trouble, okay?

later:

jason: dickie i'll tell ya, in that moment i gave up, ya know? i fully accepted it. i looked down at the kid and i thought, "ive been runnin from bein bruce my whole life, maybe its time to give in". i was fully ready to take the kid to the nearest adoption agency by tomorrow. i was plannin' out the kids room in my apartment, stuffed animals and obnoxious night light an all. an then the little gremlin REJECTED ME

dick . . . by giving you back the tire he stole

jason: *crying* exactly

dick: did it ever cross your mind that she did that because she liked you? not the other way around?

jason: of course not! if she really liked me she would have hit me with the tire iron, not given me back the tire! what kind of backward thinking is that???

dick:

[tdmcaker]

Within 3 months of Damian becoming a doctor injury rates among heroes and vigilantes drop DRAMATICALLY.

He's Dr. House but worse. He watched the show, got inspired and added a culturally appropriate amount of his special flavour of trauma into the mix.

Thomas Wayne and Alfred are Proud.

[tdmcaker]

[tdmcaker]

actually do you think when Damian gets in trouble at school and is called into the principal’s office he has to call for a family member to show up but Tim is the only one available and so he comes down to the school and walks into the office talking about how this needs to be quick because he has about three meetings he’s running late for-

the principal just kinda squints for a second and is like ‘aren’t you also one of my students?’

and Tim starts sweating. ‘what? no, i dropped out like six months ago’

‘i don’t remember you dropping out.’

‘well i less dropped out and more stopped showing up because i had to work-‘

‘that is no excuse, Timothy Jackson Drake.’

three hours later Bruce finally finishes whatever mission he was dealing with and has to go down to the school because now the principal wont let Tim leave without a guardian either. Bruce walks in with Tim’s emancipation papers to prove that he is indeed no longer a student and sees his two youngest sat in the corner, Damian shaking his head at Tim in pure disappointment while Tim hangs his head in humiliated shame and the principal talks about the consequences of missing six months worth of classes.

Damian tells the story over dinner and Dick and Jason both laugh so hard they start choking on their food

[tdmcaker]

Dick, to the Titans: OK this is my little brother, everyone has to be so nice to him!

Jason, 6'4, built like a double fridge and holding a gun: Hey.

The Titans:

Years later.

Dick, to the Titans again: OK this is my even littler brother, everyone be super super nice to him!

Duke, 6'2, built like a linebacker and lit up like a glo stick: Yo.

The Titans:

Years after that.

Dick, again, to the Titans: OK this is my littlest baby brother, everyone has to be so sweet to him! He's a baby!

Damian, 18 and 6'0, made of pure muscle and holding a sword: Greetings.

The Titans: ...where are you finding these brothers.

[tdmcaker]

house md drinking game

[tdmcaker]

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

[tdmcaker]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.