waynefamilyreactions - Tumblr blog

[waynefamilyreactions]

Jason: *Sneaking into the kitchen at 4:00 AM after a rough night*

Tim: *Eating ground beans of coffee with a spoon*

Jason: I won’t tell if you don’t.

Tim: Deal.

[waynefamilyreactions]

Damian: Drake, pass me that glass of water.

Tim: *Sees Damian on the couch with Alfred the cat sleeping on his chest*

Tim: For how long have you been lying there?

Damian: Irrelevant. Do as I say.

Tim: *Takes a picture and flees the room*

Damian: As soon as I can I will fucking stab you! I swear!

Bruce: *Yelling from another room* Language!

[waynefamilyreactions]

The Batfamily goes to Group Therapy

- How am I feeling? Like I want to be dead again.

- You mean depressed?

- Jesus Christ.

- Why can’t we leave again?

- Alfred locked the doors.

- I am too sober for this.

- I don’t have favourites I love all my kids the same.

- Oh please, Father, we have all made peace with the fact that Grayson is your favourite. He is also my favorite. Drake is last.

- How honest Can we be without being sent to the psychiatric?

- Ma’am please, I didn’t ask for this. I was adopted last.

- I refuse to stay here and listen to Drake talk about his issues.

- Daddy issues? Yes thank you we had not a fucking clue.

- I am sorry I can’t help being awesome all the time and that you’re all jealous of me.

- The day I am jealous of you Todd, please feel free to put me out of my misery.

- Maybe if I hold my breath for long enough I’ll pass out.

- I swear to God, Goldie if you post another picture on instagram stories of this shitshow, I will kill you…

- …I’ll kill you with kindness.

- Can we order pizza? We’ve been here for hours.

- it’s been only 45 minutes

- yes I second that.

- Vegan if you must.

- Alexa, How many apples do I have to eat to get Cyanide poisoning?

- come on brat we’ve been here for hours just say it.

- seriously ma’am I shouldn’t be here.

- Fine. Drake you are mediocre at best but Father could have done much worse. In fact he has. He adopted Todd.

- It’s not too bad we’ve done some improvement

- quick someone knock me out.

[waynefamilyreactions]

[waynefamilyreactions]

Someone is trying to exorcise Damian

Jason:

[waynefamilyreactions]

Bruce Wayne's list of Rules for Halloween Season

KINDA LATE BUT HERE IT IS!

NO JOKER COSTUMES allowed for Halloween. This shouldn't even be a rule.

No green hair either.

Keep On Brand. No Superfamily costumes allowed.

No Green Arrow costumes.

Keep the candy away from Dick at all times.

Jason must be supervised at all times during trick or treat-ing.

Damian must go trick or treating.

No Halloween parties in the batcave.

Do not ask for pictures with citizens dressed as your respective vigilante personas.

Do not bring said citizens to the batmobile or batcave either.

Giving out vodka shots to the adults during trick and treat is not permitted.

As stated above it is Halloween season. No Christmas songs or decoration allowed until after December first.

Do not start a Batfamily costume competition.

Do not sign up to Batfamily costume competitions either.

Do not let Jason fight fake Red Hoods for whose costume is better.

Same rule applies to Tim Drake.

Jason is not allowed to interact with trick or treat kids.

Pumpkin crafting decorations must be kept at PG-13 rating.

No pumpkin on the carpets.

Keep the candy away from Stephanie at all times.

Disco Nightwing costume is forbidden.

No Halloween movies in the batcomputer.

Pumpkin spice lattes limited to two per week.

[waynefamilyreactions]

As Told By The Gotham Citizens

[waynefamilyreactions]

Feel free to comment or message any thoughts or opinions.

[waynefamilyreactions]

Hi! I really want to get into Batman but I've no idea where to start. What would you recommend to someone who likes reading the Wayne family dynamic posts, the essays about Bruce's particular way of loving them,etc.? I literally know nothing except what's in the films (live action and I remember a cartoon in the early 2000s) and have no idea where to start. Thank you!! <3

Hi! I got into the whole batfamily shitshow by watching young justice. Dick was the Robin of the first season and that caught my attention. Then more members were added but they were not really the main focus. That show was more of a Justice League thing.

I've read Batman and Red Hood and the Outlaws comics before and while those are pretty cool, the Wayne Family (as a whole) is not the main focus.

For easy-going reading and Batfamily-centered , I recomend: Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Those are so cute and wholesome! :D

If anybody else would like to add recommendations, please add them in the comments.

[waynefamilyreactions]

[waynefamilyreactions]

Bats react to them taking some costumed kid to the cave after a patrol by mistake

Dick "It happened again"

[waynefamilyreactions]

Only in Gotham, do people not give plants as housewarming gifts. They give baseball bats and a gun test. Also, my sister was given an electric taser and mace as a keychain. Only in Gotham.

I never thought of that but yeah. Absolutely! I could see that happening!

Jason is a concerned civilian.

[waynefamilyreactions]

[waynefamilyreactions]

New to Gotham? A useful friendly guide for the newbies at Gotham.

There's never a boring day in Gotham City.

The best view of the city is from the Wayne Enterprises rooftop. Entrance is for free during the weekend.

Came to Gotham as a tourist? First things first: why?

Red-lights and traffic rules are more of a suggestion.

If you're not from Gotham, and unless you have very good reflexes, avoid driving in the city and a very likely trip to the ER.

On the bright side, chances of bumping into the Waynes at the ER are high.

Sign our Changeorg petition for the making of 'Keeping up with the Waynes'. Don't question it, just sign it.

In Gotham, the 'It' movie (2017) is rated as A+ and classified as an educational documentary.

Although sort of infamous, and for some reason considered a Gotham attraction, 'Crime Alley' is literally an Alley of Crime. It should go without saying that visiting is NOT advised.

Metropolis might be safer and sunnier, but we got style.

Always look both ways before crossing a street even if its a One-Way street.

If still in school, don't make fun of the smart kids in your class, they are the most likely to answer a Riddler's Riddle and save you all.

Don't be surprised if your therapist turns out to be one of the Gotham's most wanted.

Improved universal antidote formula for laughing-gas and poison-ivy's pheromones (previous to august of this year) can be acquired for free at any Gotham Hospital.

Best coffee shop is the family-owned business on the corner of the ninth avenue at Old Gotham District. Rated as top 1 by Red-Robin and also positively reviewed by Wayne member Tim Drake.

Fan of art and animal-lover? There are a couple of handmade paintings by Damian Wayne that could be acquired at Gotham's Gallery. All earnings go to Gotham's animal rescue centers.

Most of the famous Gotham criminals are all professionals despite their funny names, do not underestimate them.

Think you're tough? Think again.

Have fun and enjoy your time in Gotham. It's kinda nice once you get used to it.

[waynefamilyreactions]

Forgotten (or blatantly ignored) list of Wayne Family Rules for proper handling of social media - By Lucius Fox.

Make sure you're wearing clothes in your profile pictures.

Refrain from posting anything at all if you are sleep deprived.

Refrain from posting anything at all if you are drunk.

Ideally, just refrain from posting anything at all.

Make sure you're not posting anything related to vigilantism from your personal account and viceversa.

No inappropriate pictures of other family members.

No inappropriate pictures of other superheroes.

Asking for embarrassing pictures of other family members or fellow superheroes from citizens is not allowed.

No jokes about death.

No tweets about death threats directed to other family members.

No cussing.

Remember, once posted, always posted.

No obvious mockery towards Lex Luthor or other controversial people.

Twitter is not meant for therapy.

Limit the instagram posts of purple-food to less than ten a day.

Limit the instagram posts of cats to less than ten a day.

Limit the instagram posts of coffee mugs to less than ten a day.

No hacking of the accounts of controversial people just for fun

Think twice –no, three times– before posting.

Family issues should stay private.

No more Be Reals from the ER. Family services start to get suspicious.

No more Be Reals from the GPD.

No more Be Reals. Period.

Refrain from mocking Metropolis citizens' intelligence or observational skills.

Further points to be included.

[waynefamilyreactions]

[waynefamilyreactions]

(If somebody else already did it, I apologize)