wildlyplanted

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Resurrection

We don't have to be who we were yesterday, we don't have to believe the same things we believed last year, we have the right to change our minds, to choose a new path, to say "yes" to what helps us grow and brings us peace and happiness; to say "no" to what we can no longer accept or has proved time and time again, that it's not worth it or worthy of us, or just simply we don't like or want it! 

Life is for living - and even when it feels like "What the fuck!"/ "I am going to flip the fuck out if one more thing happens!"/ "I give up!"/ "I'm getting a one way ticket to an island. I'm done!" and my favorite, while looking up, "You can stop now! I promise I will flip the fuck out for real!" - even when it's fucked up, with whatever you have in you that day, take that baby step forward and then the next day do the same. Pause and rest but keep moving forward and leave the yucky parts behind.

Sometimes it will feel like you haven't made progress or you're going in circles and ending up right back where you started, but find that tiny push to do it again, take another step. I wholeheartedly believe our futures are cheering us on, saying "Come on, keep going, you are getting closer. It will make sense over here."

Don't let the hardships keep you feeling down too long and figure out your way of being the best, most fab you can while you're under water and as your surfacing and starting to breathe again, bring more fab when you get the wind in your sails to swim, and darling, full force fab when you reach the shore!

Where you can find me/how to contact me: IG & Tiktok: mildlymina Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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No Reverse

There's a reverse option for things like cars and juicers but the one most important thing in life that doesn't have a reverse feature is time.

We don't get to go back and make a different decision, we don't get to rewind and take back what we said or did and sadly we don't get to relive the best, most beautiful moments. Thinking about this puts my focus on the here and now because this is it, this is all we have. What was, already was, so I reflect on the experiences I want to have and how I can make today feel like a past I fondly reminisce about, rather than wishing I could reverse course and change something.

I know, I know - it's easier said than done. There are times when it's a struggle to see past the stress, annoyance or pain we may be enduring in the present and the last thing you can think about is being fully here. We just can't get there sometimes and it's okay. What we can do is - we can practice creating the best today possible, and hopefully in that practice we would have lived many more past days that we can look back at without wishing we could reverse time for a better outcome or experience.

In thinking about time and how it is the most valuable asset in life, a resource we can't replenish; what is resonating for me is - not waiting to make changes that will add more serenity, happiness and fulfillment to my days. Some changes can't happen overnight, but we can begin moving forward today. The last thing I want is to look back and wish that I would have started that thing or left that situation sooner. Remember, no reverse.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted | mildlymina

Tiktok: mildlymina

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

[wildlyplanted]

Go Ahead, Change Your Mind.

You can be whoever and whatever you want. You can grow and outgrow. You can reinvent yourself at any stage. You have the right to change your mind about it all, and in the process, I hope it feels so damn good!

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

Tiktok: mildlymina

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Holding on Too Tightly

Something I've been highly aware of lately is that we as humans can have a tendency to hold on to our opinions, notions or doctrines – whatever they are, so tightly that we refuse to acknowledge that other viewpoints are reasonable or valid.

Being open to hearing other sides, being flexible and adaptable, willing to change our perspective and sometimes our mind when life presents us a positive alternative makes us better as human beings. We don't have to think in the same way or the same things that we thought last year if there's a better way or better thoughts to have.

Unwilling to shift our mindset is a way of staying stuck, never evolving in our perspective or exploring something new. Remaining in the same space and preserving the same beliefs causes us to sometimes recreate the same scenarios over and over in our life. If we never or rarely try reaching for something beyond what is comfortable how can we make progress? How can we allow life to surprise us with the things we didn't know were possible or could not have imagined? How can we unfold and become greater versions of ourselves?

Don't be afraid of the unknown or what's on the other side of a changed outlook.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

Tiktok: mildlymina

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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How Do You Make Others Feel?

Lately, I have been in deep thought about my connections and relationships.

For me, experiencing authentic relationships and connections, regardless of how long or short, is one of the most important aspects of life – not all connections are genuine. The ones that are, feel different in your heart and gut. That experience of being in fellowship with another human being and sharing a piece of who you are with someone else is special, so being intuitive and discerning about who I’m connected to and who I form a bond with is vital to me.

As I’m looking to create new connections, build stronger connections and phase out the ones that lack alignment, these are the questions, I’ve been giving much consideration to:

Does this relationship feel nourishing and inspiring? How does being around this person make me feel? Do I feel seen, heard and believed? – or are my words and feelings glossed over and ignored? Do I feel safe having deeply personal conversations or am I cautious not to share too much and why? Do I feel confident that my privacy is respected? Does this person respect and accept my boundaries? When I say no, do they acknowledge it with understanding or do they try to negotiate with me? Do I feel animosity or jealousy if I happen to receive attention and they do not? Does spending time with this person leave me feeling full, motivated, (insert any positive feeling), or do I feel depleted, discouraged, doubtful, (insert any negative feeling)? Does this person give me solid advice, or do I find their advice questionable? Do I ever question if this person has negative thoughts about me, whether they’re judging me or if they even like me? (This one calls for an immediate phase out).

On the flip side, I’m also reflecting on the kind of experience I’m creating for those I have relationships and connections with.

Am I’m creating a meaningful experience for others? Am I being the friend I want others to be to me? What kind of answers to the questions above, would others give about me? How do I make others feel? Is a relationship with me an added value to someone else’s life?

No one is perfect and there is always room for being a better person. I think that if we know we don’t value a relationship or vice versa, it just needs to end. If we do genuinely value a relationship, we should care to understand how we make others feel, how we relate to others and reflect in both words and matching actions the same thoughtfulness, trust, respect, love, grace, authenticity we want from them.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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“A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves.”

— Unknown

[wildlyplanted]

Life Itself

One of my favorite movies is, Life Itself and one of my favorite quotes comes from this 2018 film, written, co-produced and directed by Dan Fogelman.

“Life brings you to your knees. It brings you lower than you think you can go. But if you stand back up and move forward, if you go just a little farther, you will always find love.”

This quote has been resonating with me lately and I wanted to share, in case anyone out there is feeling the same. I pray we have the strength to go just a little farther. To me, the word "love" in this quote represents whatever it is we seek or need, whatever will answer our prayers.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Is 2024 What You Expected So Far?

I expected 2024 to arrive in grand fashion, bringing with it excitement and the changes that I craved. I hope my expectations for 2024 are met, there’s definitely plenty of time.

For now, up to this point, 2024 has been more of a personal reckoning and spiritual journey, which I welcome because there is a reason it is this way, right? Right. There has been a great deal of digging deep, a lot of examining thoughts and patterns, loads of seeking answers to the whys and hows, and plenty of reanalyzing all parts of life.

Some days I feel at peace, other days I want a one-way ticket to the island of ‘forget my troubles’ but I can say that overall, I feel balanced on most days. I've been careful about the information I consume, and I've had to limit my time on social media by a considerable amount. I also find myself tuning out or changing the subject of conversations that I feel are unhelpful or unhealthy. Being careful about what I’m internalizing helps me stay in a good headspace.

I've endured painful and chaotic times in life, more than I’d like to remember, and I realized, just today, that this is probably the best I have navigated the rough tides. Rather than resisting, I choose to surrender to how life is unfolding right now. I’m practicing stillness more than I ever have and in a way that I never understood before. Feeling my way into alignment, allowing the internal to inform the external, rather than trying to force things to happen from a place of external pressure and panic.

So, here I am. Five months into the New Year, having a different kind of year than what I anticipated. In times like this, keep pushing forward, keep moving forward. We will get to the other side.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Snap back

Make a cup of tea or coffee because this is a long one :)

The other day, I was watching the YouTube channel of a couple I follow. They just welcomed a baby, and the latest vlog was the woman showing her 3 weeks postpartum body, which looked unbelievably great, and for some reason, I felt a little uncomfortable while watching.

I asked myself, "why?" as I thought back to all the similar vlogs I’ve viewed. I think the postpartum vlogs that make me uncomfortable are the ones where the woman seems to be having a quick “snap back.”

“But why?” I asked myself, again. Then it dawned on me. Most of the women I know didn't recover as quickly as some of the women I see in vlogs and on social media. I think this notion and perpetuation of "snapping back" is detrimental to women, especially while they’re in such a vulnerable state, having just given birth.

In this particular vlog, the woman mentioned (multiple times) how she still needs to lose weight, criticized and pointed out areas of her body, including her stomach, even though her body was recovering, remarkably. This blew my mind because I was thinking "Oh my goodness, you grew a baby in your uterus, of course it’s still swollen! You just brought life into the world! Stop!!”

In my sensitive opinion, I think the conversation around postpartum should not be focused on a mother’s body and how fast she is, “snapping back” and I don’t think women should offer up their postpartum bodies for debate. These “snap back” vlogs and social media posts can cause women to be subjected to unfair comparisons by their partner, causing feelings of inadequacy and stress. Comparison shouldn’t happen, but I can guarantee it does.

Instead, the focus should be on mothers receiving an abundance of support from their partners and the trusted people around them in caring for a new baby, eating well, getting ample rest, feeling ease and calm, feeling confident in expressing the status of their mental and emotional health, and overall feeling extra taken care of.

I understand that for some women, the healing process happens nicely, and they feel good enough to exercise as soon as they're cleared by the doctor, and they're in a good space. I also understand that many women who give birth for the first time have been shocked to find out that 6 weeks is not entirely accurate for how long it can take a woman to heal because the dominant narrative is the quick “snap back.”

I'm so thankful and appreciative that more mothers are sharing their childbirth and postpartum journey and showing how different it can look from what we see on social media. Showing that it can be a long way down the road before you feel comfortable in your body again, or before that favorite outfit fits the way it used to.

Additionally, I’m grateful to all the women who are bringing to the forefront, important conversations about healing after having a baby. As someone who has yet to give birth, I want to know as much as I can about the process, keeping in mind that each woman’s experience is unique to her. Something that I’m surprised to only have recently found out is that before a woman even thinks about any sort of working out, she should first take care to strengthen her core and pelvic floor, and only after that, begin working out again.

Hearing and seeing different narratives are so important, because for example, I had no idea that Pelvic Floor Specialists existed until a couple of years ago. I also had no clue that so many women experience Diastasis Recti and when that is the case, they should absolutely not do any typical ab workouts because it will make it worse and most definitely cause setbacks and issues. Working with a Pelvic Floor Specialist is the appropriate procedure.

I’m quite stunned that the medical community does not do women justice regarding postpartum. Why aren’t all mothers given a proper exam to determine if she has Diastasis Recti? Why aren’t all mothers referred to a Pelvic Floor Specialist as a place to start after they’ve been cleared for movement? I’m not sure if insurance would even cover the cost of the specialist.

If men were the ones to give birth, the postpartum period would be 6 months, not weeks and every sort of specialist would be offered up to them, along with insurance covering it all!

Not only is 6 weeks an inefficient and unreasonable amount of time, in my opinion, for a woman to heal– it’s definitely not enough time for a mother to even begin thinking about losing weight or “snapping back.” I would imagine, she just wants to be able to sit and stand without being in pain.

The last point I would like to make, is that I don’t think men truly know how painful and traumatic childbirth and postpartum healing is. Even though more women are sharing about the realities of childbirth and the aftermath, I think so many more don’t share because their journey doesn’t look like what we see on YouTube and social media.

Not enough women are talking about how terrible it feels (I can only imagine) to have swollen and painful private parts, a swollen uterus, hurting when peeing, bleeding a river up to 6 weeks, in some cases, pain during breastfeeding and experiencing issues like Diastasis Recti. Now add on top of that, being expected to perfectly care for your baby, knowing exactly what to do at all times, enduring sleepless nights with little help in some cases, leaking milk and standing in a body that you don't feel comfortable in and can hardly recognize. Then add even more on top of that, being the main person your baby clings to for survival and support and fighting unhealthy thoughts about how your body looks like or what it will look like weeks and months down the line. Imagine how mentally and emotionally taxing it is to love your child and at the same time not like what carrying and birthing your child has done to your body. It’s A LOT!

Welcoming a baby into the world will always be a heavier burden on the mother and just straight-up unfair to her in so many ways. The “snap back” narrative just adds more unreasonableness and should be done away with!

*Shout out to the loving partners who play an equal part in caring for the baby and who help alleviate some of the mental and emotional stress that women experience during postpartum.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Women Can Have Fun, Too!

Earlier today, I came across a YouTube video about Lupita and Joshua. The comment section was full of judgement, assumptions and just straight up sexism (mostly from other women) toward Lupita.

They are both recently single people who seem to be having a good time. Beyond that, only Lupita and Joshua know.

This made me ask myself a deeper question, "Why is it so difficult for people to grasp that women are free to have fun and enjoy experiences (momentary or not) just as men do?" As long as a woman has full agency over herself, fully aware, fully choosing and in tune with her choices, why should she be judged or scrutinized in ways that men would never be?

I think that our patriarchal society is offended by women owning their sexuality, and has trained women to be hypercritical of other women. Newly single men (and no doubt single men in general), can gallivant about, and are encouraged by everyone around them to play the field. On the other hand, a newly single woman like Lupita (and single women in general), even while being selective and conscious in the process, have to deal with all kinds of false and negative comments and assumptions.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Personal Legend

I recently began rereading The Alchemist. I'm on part II at the moment. I can't believe I let years pass before reading this life changing book, again. Nonetheless, I'm glad to have picked it back up. It helped me rewire my mind the first time I read it, and lately, I've been feeling like I need a reminder and a tune-up.

I needed to reaffirm to myself that I know my purpose, my personal legend and I shouldn't allow anyone or any circumstance to make me feel as if my dreams aren't possible.

In this book is one of the most impactful and magnificent declarations a person in the midst of pursuing their personal legend will ever read, "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

Giving so much gratitude for The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho.

Are you also in the process of following your personal legend? How do you stay on course, even when life becomes chaotic and the direction of the wind is constantly changing?

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Masterpiece or Work in Progress?

"I am allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously." I saw this saying/quote on Iman's IG this week, and I shouted "yes" as I read it, because I needed this reminder. Sometimes we think that we need to have all the answers and everything figured out before we make that move or change, start that project or begin working on that idea, invite love in, etc. I'm guilty of this and I found that it only holds me back.

However we are, wherever we are presently is "perfect" timing for everything we want to invite into our lives. We can move forward in the state that we are in, continuing to learn and blossom, and stride toward our goals and personal development. The thing is, us humans will always be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. We never stop evolving (unless you choose differently), we'll never have it all figured out. We're redefining, reevaluating, recalibrating until the very end.

Does that quote resonate with you? How?

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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How Did You Get Your Confidence?

Confidence, self-worth and self-love are qualities that a person first learns from their family. None of these were instilled in me during childhood. Like other important ones, I had to cultivate these attributes over time, through my life experiences, and I'm still learning every day. I feel grateful that I wasn’t swallowed up by the world and I didn’t end up falling victim to some of the things that can happen to a young person (and even an adult) when they feel lost and overwhelmed and they lack that knowing that they deserve to be treated well, whether it’s in a relationship, by other family members, by friends and even at their job. Then once you know, you have to put confidence in action. Many people know they deserve better, but the lack of confidence keeps them on a path of accepting less than. 

Over time, I began to peel away the layers of fear and insecurity and I started moving through the world with a better understanding of who I was, what I wanted, what I refused accept. Year after year, I grew into expecting the highest for my life. Anytime I fell out of alignment with that, I observed how my thinking played a role and many times, it was because I let my confidence collapse and my self-worth tumbled with it. Those voices from childhood can creep up and attempt to sabotage how far we’ve come and all the time and effort we put into building a better version of ourselves. Don’t let those voices trip you up. They aren’t real. What is real, is regaining your momentum through ways like therapy, meditation, exercise, time in nature, journaling, time with people who help you feel hopeful and energized. Rebuilding yourself and your confidence, finding even greater clarity than before, and moving toward the highest vision you hold for your life. Every time I’ve had a setback, I came back with an even higher awareness and set my sights higher for what I knew I deserved, and my confidence improved.

Have you ever struggled with confidence at any point in your life? If so, did it stem from childhood, or was it something that developed later in life?

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Who Am I When No One's in the Room

Jessie Reyez's song "No One's in the Room" is the inspiration for this blog post. The first time I ever heard this song, I wondered, "Am I the same person when I'm alone, or am I a completely different person when someone else, or other people are around?"

My truth, what I believe, is that at my core, I am the same person when no one's in the room. When I'm alone, I'm pensive, I talk out loud as a way to process my emotions and thoughts, I like to sing (thank God, no one is around), dance, make myself laugh, do fun things, I get excited over the smallest things, I'm creative, and I procrastinate among so many other things.

While at the core, I'm the same, I do however think there are nuances to how we are when other people are around, and how we are with different people, if that makes sense. Who I am with my best friend will be different than who I am with a friend I'm still building a friendship with. Who I am with a romantic partner will be different than who I am with my best friend.

Something I can say for sure about who I am is that, I'm not a person who can mask, pretend or fake it. I can hold back my true emotion when it's crucial, to serve a greater good, etc. but generally speaking, it doesn't feel natural for me. Eventually, how I truly feel ends up spilling out, sometimes. Not all the time. This is especially true when it comes to liking someone. I enjoy showing and expressing affection, and while this won't change, I have however learned how to hold back a bit, while still being authentic. It's a delicate balance. Learning and growing is a lifelong process, and I'm here for it :)

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

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Glorious

Somehow, your embrace stopped the movement of time. When my world was burning down, your touch extinguished the flames. You unknowingly helped me to start healing. I learned to open my heart again.

Our time together was short, but glorious. Sweet surrender. x

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

[wildlyplanted]

Baseline: Joy

Life will surprise and shock us in both the best and challenging ways. 

What was true yesterday, may no longer be real today. What is unclear or distorted today, may be our truth tomorrow. 

Wisdom comes from both the highs and the lows, the joy and the pain that this ever-changing life brings.

In the thick of the lows and the pain, I try to remain hopeful, I try to create even the smallest ounce of happiness for myself, even if it's only for a brief moment, to remind me of what joy feels like, to give me energy to keep pushing so I can get back to that feeling as a baseline for how life should feel, for how I want to feel.

If you're currently going through a low or experiencing pain, or life just doesn't look the way you want or need it to, right now, I hope you find the energy to give yourself a slice of happiness. No matter how small, and I hope that bit of happiness gives you exactly what you need to keep going.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

[wildlyplanted]

Can We?

What if we cherished one another and spent time appreciating connection and tenderness, and celebrating what we've found in each other? Not forcing or restricting, instead, allowing it all to flow freely and naturally.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com