#snapping back

[wildlyplanted]

Snap back

Make a cup of tea or coffee because this is a long one :)

The other day, I was watching the YouTube channel of a couple I follow. They just welcomed a baby, and the latest vlog was the woman showing her 3 weeks postpartum body, which looked unbelievably great, and for some reason, I felt a little uncomfortable while watching.

I asked myself, "why?" as I thought back to all the similar vlogs I’ve viewed. I think the postpartum vlogs that make me uncomfortable are the ones where the woman seems to be having a quick “snap back.”

“But why?” I asked myself, again. Then it dawned on me. Most of the women I know didn't recover as quickly as some of the women I see in vlogs and on social media. I think this notion and perpetuation of "snapping back" is detrimental to women, especially while they’re in such a vulnerable state, having just given birth.

In this particular vlog, the woman mentioned (multiple times) how she still needs to lose weight, criticized and pointed out areas of her body, including her stomach, even though her body was recovering, remarkably. This blew my mind because I was thinking "Oh my goodness, you grew a baby in your uterus, of course it’s still swollen! You just brought life into the world! Stop!!”

In my sensitive opinion, I think the conversation around postpartum should not be focused on a mother’s body and how fast she is, “snapping back” and I don’t think women should offer up their postpartum bodies for debate. These “snap back” vlogs and social media posts can cause women to be subjected to unfair comparisons by their partner, causing feelings of inadequacy and stress. Comparison shouldn’t happen, but I can guarantee it does.

Instead, the focus should be on mothers receiving an abundance of support from their partners and the trusted people around them in caring for a new baby, eating well, getting ample rest, feeling ease and calm, feeling confident in expressing the status of their mental and emotional health, and overall feeling extra taken care of.

I understand that for some women, the healing process happens nicely, and they feel good enough to exercise as soon as they're cleared by the doctor, and they're in a good space. I also understand that many women who give birth for the first time have been shocked to find out that 6 weeks is not entirely accurate for how long it can take a woman to heal because the dominant narrative is the quick “snap back.”

I'm so thankful and appreciative that more mothers are sharing their childbirth and postpartum journey and showing how different it can look from what we see on social media. Showing that it can be a long way down the road before you feel comfortable in your body again, or before that favorite outfit fits the way it used to.

Additionally, I’m grateful to all the women who are bringing to the forefront, important conversations about healing after having a baby. As someone who has yet to give birth, I want to know as much as I can about the process, keeping in mind that each woman’s experience is unique to her. Something that I’m surprised to only have recently found out is that before a woman even thinks about any sort of working out, she should first take care to strengthen her core and pelvic floor, and only after that, begin working out again.

Hearing and seeing different narratives are so important, because for example, I had no idea that Pelvic Floor Specialists existed until a couple of years ago. I also had no clue that so many women experience Diastasis Recti and when that is the case, they should absolutely not do any typical ab workouts because it will make it worse and most definitely cause setbacks and issues. Working with a Pelvic Floor Specialist is the appropriate procedure.

I’m quite stunned that the medical community does not do women justice regarding postpartum. Why aren’t all mothers given a proper exam to determine if she has Diastasis Recti? Why aren’t all mothers referred to a Pelvic Floor Specialist as a place to start after they’ve been cleared for movement? I’m not sure if insurance would even cover the cost of the specialist.

If men were the ones to give birth, the postpartum period would be 6 months, not weeks and every sort of specialist would be offered up to them, along with insurance covering it all!

Not only is 6 weeks an inefficient and unreasonable amount of time, in my opinion, for a woman to heal– it’s definitely not enough time for a mother to even begin thinking about losing weight or “snapping back.” I would imagine, she just wants to be able to sit and stand without being in pain.

The last point I would like to make, is that I don’t think men truly know how painful and traumatic childbirth and postpartum healing is. Even though more women are sharing about the realities of childbirth and the aftermath, I think so many more don’t share because their journey doesn’t look like what we see on YouTube and social media.

Not enough women are talking about how terrible it feels (I can only imagine) to have swollen and painful private parts, a swollen uterus, hurting when peeing, bleeding a river up to 6 weeks, in some cases, pain during breastfeeding and experiencing issues like Diastasis Recti. Now add on top of that, being expected to perfectly care for your baby, knowing exactly what to do at all times, enduring sleepless nights with little help in some cases, leaking milk and standing in a body that you don't feel comfortable in and can hardly recognize. Then add even more on top of that, being the main person your baby clings to for survival and support and fighting unhealthy thoughts about how your body looks like or what it will look like weeks and months down the line. Imagine how mentally and emotionally taxing it is to love your child and at the same time not like what carrying and birthing your child has done to your body. It’s A LOT!

Welcoming a baby into the world will always be a heavier burden on the mother and just straight-up unfair to her in so many ways. The “snap back” narrative just adds more unreasonableness and should be done away with!

*Shout out to the loving partners who play an equal part in caring for the baby and who help alleviate some of the mental and emotional stress that women experience during postpartum.

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

[teitomonogatari]

a MASSIVE amount of manga series (at least 140, and still counting) just got nuked from MangaDex from DMCA.

some of them have no official english availability.

EDIT: Please reblog this version with more info and the list of manga hit

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT text)

Something we don't consider enough in Howl!AU zukka. Is Zuko harassing the old man sokka. but he does so with young sokka as well hm...

idk how to post these but crused blond zuko and sokka aged compared to his youthful look side by side

(ID in ALT text) i tried with blond zuko, but i really can't commit to that sorry

[xxplastic-cubexx]

waiting for him to come home i cant stand this game chat

[monakisss]

old woman yuri and wake doodles

[baeshijima]

thoughts on being engaged to duke!sunday, the head of the oak family, an incredibly influential figurehead within society, the close subordinate of emperor gopher wood who brought him and his sister in and raised him like his own, and the villain who faces a tragic ending in a novel you recently finished — the very same one you just so happen to find yourself transmigrated into. he is as cunning as he is blinded, a trait which brought ruin to many in the empire, and one which ultimately brought ruin to himself at the hands of the protagonists.

as luck would have it, you became a barely mentioned side character from a marquis family, whose role was to be the villain's wife stuck in a one-sided love who, too, would get caught up in the tragedy alongside him. however, now that it's you who is stuck in this position, you're determined to try any means necessary to deter him from going down that path, all in an effort to escape your predestined doomed fate!

of course, you didn't expect it to be easy. the day of your arrival in this world was already the night before your wedding, so you had little time to prepare yourself for the nonchalance of your supposed family, how they viewed you as but a means — a tool — to boost their influence and prosperity, the dismissive mannerisms of the household servants, and the absolute beauty of a man you will be married to.

(seriously. the novel descriptions did not do him justice. he was like... like... like he was handcrafted by god himself! and not to mention his sister, robin, was the very epitome of an angel! perhaps you're destined to perish by the god-tier visuals instead...)

to say the least, the wedding ceremony went by quickly. safe to say you didn't spend the night; he was cordial and gentlemanly upon letting you know that he won't do anything until you're ready, that you can take this relationship slow, but somehow you ended up feeling a tad insulted. like, who leaves their newly wedded alone in a big cold bed as they walk out on their own? a sick bastard that's who!

well, whatever. it's not like you need nor want to consummate with him! besides, you have bigger things to worry about — things such as your impending death. and, of course, the only way to stop sunday that you can imagine working is by chipping away at his resolve bit by bit, and opening his eyes to reality.

he is a tragic character, one who cares more about the well-being of penacony and its people than anyone else, but was manipulated into getting his hands dirty in the emperor's stead. you knew this. you sobbed over his story, cursed out the protagonists, and even fought internet randos on novel forums about sunday's motivation and how,

no, he is not just a stupid villain. he is a complex character with flaws and humanity and was cruelly taken advantage of by someone he considered family. he was deceived through the suffering the emperor wanted him to see to make him easily manipulated, creating a rift between him and robin to have that prominent separation. you know what? maybe you're just a !%#@ who can't even #@?"% read properly!

and yet you still find yourself at a loss when faced with the walls he has in place. your initial efforts went as well as it possibly could have; you trying to earnestly help him, while he "kindly" dismisses your offers! well, "kindly" being more condescending since you could read between the lines of his mannerisms and amiable demeanour, but that's fine! you expected this! that just means you have to double down on your sincerity, get through to his heart (somehow), and help him realise humanity isn't as weak as he's led to believe!

you have three years until the novel's plot officially starts, and another year after that until your demise. that's plenty of time to get him to warm up to you!

it was easier said than done, but after your valiant effort and abundance of time put into this relationship, which admittedly you could do with some of that lost time back, you could give yourself a pat on the back with the progress you made! while you definitely could have done without a lot of the headaches, it's safe to say sunday has significantly warmed up to you in comparison to your wedding day. he now willingly eats all his meals with you with some real conversation, takes garden strolls with you in the early evenings, invites you out for dinner at a restaurant at least four times a week, hell he's even joked and laughed with you more frequently! but most importantly, he has begun asking for your opinion before finalising any decisions he is required to make. and he actually listens and considers your side! now, that certainly is the best outcome you could hope for after all this time, and it most definitely will help in your endeavour to save you both from the protagonists!

however, you've noticed he's been more... affectionate? well, at the very least he now willingly holds your hand when in private (not just in moments when you're in the public eye and he has to make sure the family's reputation is spotless), sometimes he will hug you out of the blue ("i just need to... recharge. you have a way of calming me down. i hope you don't mind." ...how could you say no to his supreme god-tier face card? that's just a losing battle you won't even bother fighting against.), oftentimes he opts to just gaze wordlessly at you (robin had mentioned over one of your tea times how it almost appears as though there is no one but you in the world when sunday gazes at you with, in her words, "the eyes of a man so deeply in love!" ...whatever that's supposed to mean...), but a more recent development has been his sudden interest in kissing you; well, more specifically giving you a kiss to the back of your hand or on your forehead — certainly not anywhere near the lips! (besides, he's probably just gotten comfortable with you, enough where he can freely act without judgement. nothing more, nothing less.)

well, either way, development is development! soon enough, the time for the main plot to start has arrived. it of course follows what you remember, from the organised balls to the protagonists meeting to the political aspects of it all. the only difference is sunday's less active involvement in all the schemes and the emperor's ploy. rather, he seems more focused on you and the future of your marriage and even displayed a sudden interest in your practically non-existent relationship with one of the foreign diplomats, aventurine— wait...

"[name]," he calls your name out so sweetly you nearly disregarded it as someone else he was talking to. well, perhaps you would have done had he not suddenly appeared before you, a tight-lipped smile tugging the corners of his lips as he steadily approaches you.

oh. he doesn't seem very happy, if his tense figure is anything to go by. you wonder if one of the nobles grated his nerves a little too much this time?

sunday comes to a halt a step away from you. "i don't like that... gambler being so close to you. it... it brings me a rather unpleasant feeling." there's a slight, trembling pause. not a moment later does he close the gap between you, one knee on the ground as he matches your seated height on the fountain rim, your hands gently enclosed in both of his.

you idly wonder if this is what robin meant by the so-called "eyes of a man so deeply in love" she constantly gushed about, for the way in which he gazes up at you is enough to render you breathless.

"tell me, [name]," he begins once more. there is an underlying desperation woven within his tone, one which has your head spinning and heart thumping wildly as his trembling gaze holds you in place. "tell me, what am i to do with this fervent love and overwhelming adoration i hold for you?"

oh.

...oh.

perhaps your impending doom should be the least of your concerns when you now find yourself in the arms of a clingy husband...

(though, it's safe to say you did, in fact, manage to prevent him from succumbing to his tragic fate! you just gained a loving, yet slight slightly emotionally challenged husband along the way.

well, you can help him work through it; you have the rest of your lives now to figure it out, after all.)

[aleslunae]

Music video painting studies of some of my favorite Clancy songs ❤️💛 |-/

[kage-sama452]

The thing that really gets me about Gideon Nav is that when we read a book with an orphaned protagonist, when they yell something along the lines of "at least my dead mom, who suffocated herself to save me, loved me!", the readers can safely assume that the protagonist is right.

But Gideon wasn't right.

Jod, she wasn't even close.

I often think about that.

[shaykai]

Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)

The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive

And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead

And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance

He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[katakaluptastrophy]

"How much time has passed in the - er - real world?"

"Nine months."

"Good Lord." She was genuinely upset. "I would have put us at about eight weeks."

Well, those seem like entirely innocuous lengths of time for Harrow and Abigail to be talking about as Wake's memories cause fallopian tubes to overtake Not!Canaan House like Sleeping Beauty's castle...

[ryllen]

Good luck to him, & good luck to me too!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

fuck you *puts you in the anti-telepath helmet*

[virtkha]

not letting yall forget about this deleted scene 💔💔

[jojoajah]

Martin "Can't sleep like a normal person" Seamus Mcfly

Also headcanon that all the mcfly kids inherited this trait from George, and poor Lorraine and Jennifer have to help them out with their messed up backs 😞

[asparklethatisblue]

Rejoice, for onto the world a child was born.

Baby Gesus, only daughter of Jod, the most special girl in the universe