#Secure Attachment
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What a healthy, secure relationship looks like
He communicates consistently and clearly. Replies promptly, doesn't leave you on seen, checks up on you throughout the day/week according to his schedule and in agreement with your needs as well.
He pays attention to your needs and desires and quirks, and makes your life better using said details. Ie. buys your favorite kind of flowers, makes your favorite tea in the morning, remembers your food allergies when having dinner dates, etc.
Disagreements may still appear even in health relationships, and it's ok, as communication is essentual for a healthy dynamic. However, his approach to disagreements is a secure one: each will share their perspective, and if feelings were hurt or mistakes were made, he takes accountability for his side, and makes genuine apologies followed by reparations and direct actions (ie. "I'm sorry I did x, I didn't mean to hurt you. I will be/do y in the future", and then does as he promised).
Promises are kept. His actions are in alignment with his words, and he keeps his words. If he says he'll call you after work, he does. If he says he needs to cool off during an argument and will reopen the conversation in 1h, he does indeed return in 1h to continue the topic.
If you're anxious, he will reassure you and work through it. He doesn't run away or avoid the topic (as an avoidantly attached person would).
If you come forward communicating your needs, or sharing complaints or grievances, he will hear you out and actively seek a way to improve things. He won't freak out, or get angry or run away in response to you having needs or communicating your thoughts; these are normal relationship things you're entitled to, and a securely attached man knows this.
A man that is well-rounded, with a secure attachment style, will have a rich life of his own: hobbies, interests, circles of friends, activities, etc. He will enjoy having his independence and space, and will respect your need for your own. He is not co-dependent, nor gets in the way of you having your own life outside of him. He knows having individually rich lives is important for a healthy relationship. To expand on this, he encourages you to enjoy your selfcare time, your girl's night out, or whatever other activities nourish you.
#dating tips#dating advice#healthy relationships#high value dating#high value man#secure attachment#glow up#level up#level up journey#writings
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Pretty positive that Kyle Garrick has the most secure attachment style out of anyone on the 141, proving that he is by far the best boyfriend material.
#you can't change my mind#don't take this away from me#call of duty#cod#kyle gaz garrick#cod gaz#gaz cod#gaz kyle garrick#kyle garrick#cod headcanons#attachment styles#secure attachment
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Writing Notes: Secure Attachment Style
Examples of Secure Principles
Be available ⚜ Don’t interfere ⚜ Act encouragingly
Communicate effectively ⚜ Don’t play games
View yourself as responsible for your partner’s well-being
Wear your heart on your sleeve—be courageous and honest in your interactions
Maintain focus on the problem at hand
Don’t make generalizations during conflict
Douse the flame before it becomes a forest fire—attend to your partner’s upsets before they escalate
How to Make Secure Principles Work
Try to keep a number of truths in mind when you are in the midst of a fight:
A single fight is not a relationship breaker
Express your fears! Don’t let them dictate your actions. If you’re afraid that s/he wants to reject you, say so.
Don’t assume you are to blame for your partner’s bad mood. It is most likely not because of you.
Trust that your partner will be caring and responsive and go ahead and express your needs.
Don’t expect your partner to know what you’re thinking. If you haven’t told him/her what’s on your mind, s/he doesn’t know!
Don’t assume that you understand what your partner means. When in doubt, ask.
A general word of advice: It’s always more effective to assume the best in conflict situations.
In fact, expecting the worst—which is typical of people with insecure attachment styles—often acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you assume your partner will act hurtfully or reject you, you automatically respond defensively—thus starting a vicious cycle of negativity.
Though you may have to talk yourself into believing the “positive truths” above (even if only halfheartedly at first), it is well worth the effort.
In most cases, they will steer the dialogue in the right direction.
Attachment classifications come from watching babies’ behavior.
Below is a short description of how secure attachment style is defined in children. Some of their responses can also be detected in adults who share the same attachment style.
The secure baby is visibly distressed when mommy leaves the room.
When mother returns, he is very happy and eager to greet her.
Once in the safety of her presence, he is quick to be reassured, calm down, and resume play activity.
Every person deserves to experience the benefits of a secure bond.
When our partner acts as our secure base and emotional anchor, we derive strength and encouragement to go out into the world and make the most of ourselves.
They are there to help us become the best person we can be, as we are for them.
Don’t Lose Sight of These Facts:
Your attachment needs are legitimate.
You shouldn’t feel bad for depending on the person you are closest to—it is part of your genetic makeup.
A relationship, from an attachment perspective, should make you feel more self-confident and give you peace of mind. If it doesn’t, this is a wake-up call!
And above all, remain true to your authentic self—playing games will only distance you from your ultimate goal of finding true happiness, be it with your current partner or with someone else.
Source ⚜ More: On Attachment ⚜ References ⚜ Avoidant ⚜ Anxious
#requested#writing reference#attachment#psychology#writeblr#writing notes#studyblr#literature#writers on tumblr#dark academia#spilled ink#writing prompt#light academia#fiction#secure attachment#writing resources
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Avoidant attachment culture blog
This is for those with an avoidant attachment style (dismissive or fearful) to vent, talk about experiences or send in characters that you relate to.
This blog is run by an adult. Minors may follow and interact but be mindful and intentional with your actions.
> Also see @anxious-attachment-culture
Rules
- Open with "(dismissive/fearful) avoidant attachment culture is.." for each ask.
- Do not demean other attachment styles by making negative blanket statements about their nature e.g. "anxious attachers are always x". Avoidants go through this a lot and it does not give you the right to inflict it on others.
- You may submit asks if you only have avoidant tendencies or swing between attachment styles as long as it relates to the experience of being avoidant.
- Do not submit asks talking about avoidant partners/relationships if you are not avoidant yourself.
- You may use sign offs, they will be tagged for filing.
Information posts are here: #informative
Current sign offs
#🥀🪦
#🌠🐻
#chorus
#cyprus 👤
#🦕
This is run by >> @evilsystemm <<
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#avoidant attachment#avoidant#dismissive avoidant#fearful avoidant#disorganized attachment#anxious attachment#attachment styles#attachment style#secure attachment#dismissive avoidant attachment#fearful avoidant attachment#culture#avoidant culture is#avoidant attachment culture is#culture is#anxious attachment style#hpd#bpd#npd#aspd#stpd#szpd#ppd#dpd#ocpd#avpd#actually narcissistic#npd culture is#actually npd#mental health
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building community is so cool. like i want a kid. i want to watch a person happen. i want to help someone develop the necessary skills in life, i want to love and support them, i want to see them develop niche interests and fundamentally disagree with me on silly topics. i want to watch them grow and learn and see them turn into a full adult. i want to teach them their agency and autonomy despite them being young. ive always wanted a kid and to see this happen.
and recently, i decided i wanted a kid more than i wanted to wait for a partner to have them with. and i brought this up at one of the weekly dinner parties i host, and the little community i built by hand, filled with neurodivergent people and support. said they wanted to raise a child too. said they dont want to make one, but that any kid i had would be raised as a community child. as though there were so many people to act as guardians or caretakers, to provide support and help the baby and me through infancy. that the exhaustion and burnout was something they were looking to share with me.
you can just. have that. i built this community somewhere i hate, and we're all naturally moving to the same city after graduating/on break. community can be found anywhere. you can find people who love and support and want to be with you like that. they just like. exist. theyre out there for you.
#hey. dont kill yourself. community love exists.#community building#mutual aid#gentle parenting#secure attachment#actually neurodivergent#actually disabled#queer#t4t#anyways#rambles#personal#tags#they speak#so#yeah#thats all
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Unlucky
Unlucky has been my fate,
To have it all, yet feel incomplete.
The love I seek to cultivate,
Desperate for a calm retreat.
Perhaps that’s why it slips away—
I chase misfortune, night and day.
Each rare stroke of luck I mar,
In an instant, dimming its star.
Weak my resolve, courage thin,
I’d rather count the odds than win.
A pessimist, mind’s dark embrace,
A realist, shunning the race.
Guarding my heart from sorrow’s sting,
I clip my own wings, afraid to sing.
Bound by chains of my own design,
Avoiding the light, content to pine.
Yet in this gloom, hope’s flickering spark,
A whisper of dawn within the dark.
To break these chains, embrace the fight,
And dare to chase a brighter light.
JI
7-12-24
#spilled poetry#poems on tumblr#original poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#the tortured poets department#self love#self healing#self help#writers of tumblr#writeblr#writers on tumblr#poets of tumblr#tumblr girls#female poets#self ship#self care#self improvement#dead poets society#secure attachment#poem#stupid heart#healing#mental wellness#mental health
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You're blaming yourself for their lack of maturity :
What does that mean? So you're dealing with someone who is refusing to give you proper communication and talk to you. So what do you, you start looking at yourself. Seeing where you could have done better. Wondering if maybe you had not said this or had said that, it would have led to a more productive conversation of better results.
Introspection is a very healthy tool and, in fact, can lead to growth as well as allow you to have compassion for those around. I have learned so much about myself through this tool. but sometimes, our tools can become weapons. The very hammer I use to build a house is the same one that can be used to kill a man.
So this person then continues on with their immaturity, never giving you that proper communication that you need. What happens now is you're the one constantly trying to do better, constantly seeing where you want wrong and how you can fix this. Constantly wondering if this is your fault and maybe it was best you two had never crossed paths in the first place. It's always you doing the work while they do nothing.
This constant state slowly eats away at you, like some disease that slowly breaks down the body, leaving nothing left and wondering how you got there in the first place. It takes your once healthy mindset of clear skies and turning it into one of chaos and storms. You always feel like you're the problem and never doing anything right when, in fact, it's not you who did anything wrong but the lack coming from the other person you believed you wronged.
I want you to know that their immaturity is not your burden or demons to bear and showing grace and compassion has not you made you weak but it's a sign of someone who's survived some really rough days and long nights. You've done nothing besides trying to see the good in someone who can't even give you the time of the day, and that is a brave and powerful thing to do.
But you can stop now, it's ok to walk away. And there is no sorry you owe except the one you owe yourself for allowing it to get here.
#manifesting#affirm and persist#affirmyourlife#affirmdaily#loa#manifesation#loassumption#law of assumption#manifestsp#sp#love#secure attachment#anxious attachment#avoidant attachment#psychological#psychoanalysis#psyche#psychology#mental problems#mentalhealth#mentalism#clarity#comfort#comfortlist#comforting things#comforting#validation#reassurance#gaslight#gaslighting
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My goal is healing so I can move toward a more secure attachment. I know I need to do the work to attract someone who is emotionally mature and communicates on my level. Someone will mirror that frequency.
#emotional intelligence#self worth#highest self#romantic quotes#love#writeblr#wlw post#secure attachment#relationship#feelings#non attachment#shadow work
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I may have just understood why I have an avoidant attachment. And it took me so LONG.
I’ve BEEN trying to figure it out for the longest time but somehow there’s nothing online that explains the psychology of it well???? Like nothing at all??????
Cut leads to me rambling abt what i know abt attachment styles
Secure attachment
I love you. If you leave me i will be reasonably sad for a while but i will move on. I’m not insecure and in fact can hold up pretty well.
Anxious attachment
I love you and i will crumble if you leave me.
Ill never feel quite sure that you’re going to stay, ive been rejected before and it HURT so i cant find security in you telling me youre staying for me.
Im insecure and subconsciously, ive been made to think that im not worth being in a relationship with.
so I’ll make sure that you still love me in very insecure (or sometimes controlling) ways. I feel everything so deeply and i just want to feel reassured.
Avoidant attachment
i love you and but i expect everyone who loves me to reject me and i am deeply insecure.
So ill turn off my feelings for you so it won’t hurt when you leave me. (Paradox is they will leave BECAUSE of this)
+ the more i love you the more i know its going to hurt once you leave. So usually i turn off my feelings when we are in a good place.
Often times i turn off my feelings in response to something without intending to and it confuses me. It takes me long to figure out how to reverse that.
Fearful avoidant attachment
I love you and we are in such a good place right now. But i’m incredibly insecure so im scared ill somehow mess up what we have by talking and being myself.
So i just avoid talking to you because everytime i do i have an anxiety spike bc of that very reason. I turn off my feelings less often than Dismissive.
Dismissive avoidant attachment
I love you and but I’ve been taught my love and i in general are something undesirable, weak, disgusting.
which shaped how I view love (the exact same).
I project that onto myself and everyone else. That’s why i get the ‘ick’ and why affection disgusts me.
Just like avoidant, i’m trying to protect a wound that’s still hurting. Except instead of just avoiding you, im also mean because any affection feels like you’re trying to invade the bubble of protection i created. And i want you to keep out. Because for me vulnerability genuinely makes me feel weak and scared and that i have no control over what happens next. Will you hurt me again? I can’t stop you after i put my walls down.
For all attachments, this is of course all happening in their subconscious thoughts. There are so many things they want to say at once and explain, but don’t understand it any better than you do.
(+ everything i see online about avoidant attachment are people complaining about their partners who have it, and not how to heal it. So that leaves me to figure this out on my own)
Dayum this made me realize they all have the same core fear/ insecurity:
“i’m not enough. Someone made me feel I’m not worth loving or being in a relationship with somehow someway.”
“I desperately need to prevent getting rejected or it will HURT. However i prevent it varies.”
Anyway i dont study psychology. It’s just what fascinates me in my free time. Anyway my blog is my house and i’m arranging the furniture however i want.
#how tf do i tag this#attachment styles#anxious attachment#avoidant attachment#secure attachment#dismissive avoidant#fearful avoidant#I GUESS???#my rambles
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A Short Love Story of a Lover and a Home
As I was walking, something seemed like it wanted my attention, it was excessively bright.
It’s luring me in; I was captivated by its light.
I was hesitating, afraid it might bite.
However, there’s something about it
That makes me want to stay by its side.
It looks so sturdy and reliable in broad daylight;
On the other hand, it makes you feel safe and warm at night.
And so, I sat outside,
Letting it keep me awake all night.
I was getting comfortable;
Telling stories to this new home seemed right.
I don’t know how, I don’t know when,
I got too carried away; I didn’t know I was already inside.
Maybe while I was talking,
I kept following the warmth of the fire that was starting to ignite.
The home felt so warm, safe, and secure.
I thought to myself,
I don’t want to leave here; I’m sure.
However, I’m still scared because of the last house;
Maybe I’m still unsure.
The home asked me to stay.
It added it did not want me to go away.
How can I? To live in this warmth is what I always pray.
Then, I asked, can I really stay?
You know I’m a bit messy and immature.
It said, “it’s okay;
With you in this home, a love will nurture.”
It knew what I yearned for, so it continued to make efforts to make me stay.
It plucked flowers in its garden and gave them to me, such a heavy bouquet.
It knows flowers will brighten up my colors, no more gray.
It also spoke of tenderness more than it could convey;
It promised a place of comfort, a lot of things actually, enough to fill an essay.
It said it will protect me and promised me its walls, roof, and its whole garden—what a cliché.
You see, it’s not really petals that I’m talking about, but this floweriness is enough to make me sway.
Nevertheless, I hope it knows that this level of kindness is already enough to provide an airway.
It felt so nice and reassuring that I forgot how much words weigh.
Now that I think about it again, I really hoped it was truly just lilies on my doorway.
Despite all of this, I’m still terrified to prolong my stay, as it is not my home.
It said, “I don’t want anyone else to live here more than you,
I will not let you roam.”
Butterflies – it’s like a line from a poem.
I dreamt of you as a person last night, I’m having a love syndrome.
Our lips brushed softly against one another in the garden,
Our only witness is the moon and a gnome.
Are we a bit too fast?
If so, I just hope you’re my last.
Anyhow, the kiss from last night made me forget everything about the past.
Even though it might be just a dream, I must confess…
I can’t take my mind off of your lips;
I can’t take it anymore, it’s like an apocalypse.
I can remember it being so sweet, soft, and tender…
If you really want me, I surrender.
Without realizing, my heart starts to whisper,
‘I hope we could live in this home together.’
I couldn’t really say it out loud; all I could do is hope life with you would last forever.
Now, more than a tenant of the home, can I be something more?
Can I be something more than a caretaker,
perhaps your lover?
I’m not this sweet to write a poem; what a pretender.
But, how can I not be like this? You’re my defender.
So big and strong, there’s no contender.
I don’t need to ask for anything; the home’s naturally a provider.
And as I hear you whisper to my ear, “I would protect her,”
I rest on you, safely and soundly.
Blanket so warm, I just wish it was always wrapped around me.
There’s a theory about getting comfortable; they say it’s chemistry.
Apparently, oxytocin flows; it lulls me into tranquility.
That’s what I’m experiencing in your warmth; I feel sleepy.
And you saw me like this;
You even said you loved how I talked so softly.
Honey, it’s because the gentleness of your love is finding its way into my heart so deeply.
As time went by, all the hesitancy in my body was gone.
This growing love for you will forever live on.
And so, I gathered all my courage and whispered to the air,
“This warmth and security you give me, I will forever cherish and care.”
“No house ever gave me the peace I was looking for until I lived in yours.
And just to let you know, pieces of you are hidden in the chest of my drawers.
Once you open it, you'll be overwhelmed by the love that pours.
Honey, if all it takes to care for you and for me to stay in this home is by doing house chores,
I would gladly do so forever.
Just promise to always walk with me in the garden of roses,
and to never let go of my hand as we face the thorns that the garden encloses.”
“Hold me tight, keep me warm, say that you love me, and I will forever be yours.”
Days passed; I am happily living within your walls.
You bring out the kid in me; you let me run around the halls.
But often I wonder, why am I only allowed in one room, when I see another door.
I thought of looking to see inside, but they’re always shut.
So, I said, “I long to grow familiar with this home, so please give me a tour.”
It said, “You don’t have to go inside the other room.” I felt discomfort in my gut.
I’m such an overthinker, obviously it’s just setting a boundary.
I understand that it’s its privacy.
But some part of me still longs to see.
However, I don’t want to insist, I’ll just endure feeling crappy.
I’m not sure, but I felt something.
I’m sure it wasn’t an earthquake,
But I can feel the house subtly crumbling.
I have no idea what’s happening, I hope the house’s soul stops hiding.
I need to breath first, I’m panicking.
Gosh, it’s so hard being too sensitive.
I really hope I wasn’t this destructive.
Perhaps… was it me?
Am I not taking care of the house properly?
I really hope the house would say something—I’m going crazy.
Wait, how did I come from feeling safe to slowly tearing?
I hope I’m not doing it again, self-sabotaging.
But, can I just ask, how did it become so unreassuring?
I apologize, I need to calm down, I’m panicking.
I told myself, “Don’t do the same mistake again,
You know it’s agonizing.”
I can’t stop, fear is swallowing me
I’m now battling with my mind every day, I’m getting weary
Can’t you see I’m going crazy?
Say something, I plea
I can feel the house starting to get cold
I see the flowers in its garden starts to wither
Is this because the season is changing?
No, it’s too fast.
I just realized there was no opening in the house for me to see what’s happening.
The lights are getting dimmer;
Night comes, and the darkness starts consuming me.
I’m afraid—I can’t sense the warmth anymore.
I started looking for the fire that once ignited when I first came in
But where is it?
I need to ignite it again.
I’m afraid this house will be so cold that it’s no longer livable.
Nevertheless, I will do my best to create that spark again and ignite a fire.
I will keep living here.
This is just temporary.
The house no longer plants flowers in its garden.
The garden of roses no longer has petals, only thorns.
The fire… is starting to get smaller.
What is this new experience in the house?
This was not part of the lease.
I don’t like it.
I’m not used to this.
This isn’t what I signed up for.
Is this still the same house I was living in a few days ago?
But I still don’t want to leave; let me stay.
Okay, breathe.
Sometimes love can be bittersweet.
But, remember, if everything goes wrong,
you can always retreat.
Home, let’s talk.
I hope you won’t keep me locked.
I hope you won’t keep me in the dark.
Most importantly, I really hope you won’t let anything dim the spark.
All of a sudden, I felt a cold disturbing breeze.
It was the slow opening of its main door; I don’t feel at ease.
It let me take a peek outside to see what’s happening
As I peeked, I was disheartened to see it really was a storm forming.
I feel the house crumbling.
It always seemed so strong,
but the truth is, it’s barely managing.
It slowly revealed itself to me
I was dejected to see sustained cracks
I really hope this was just chapter of our story
Not the end—not even our story’s climax.
I can tell the house is having a hard time tending to me
I don’t want to lose the house, so I’m doing everything I can in a hurry.
As I look into our future, how did it become so blurry?
I pray… please… let this not be only a memory.
I did not expect the house to be this damaged
It was not like this when it was introduced to me
I just really wish the house’s soul would give me its truth
Now, I’m trying to find my way to you, but
Everything is locked
Except the main door.
Everything’s dark
Even the flower with the brightest color.
How did we come to this?
Was the storm that devastating?
I hope you let me take care of you while there’s an ongoing disaster.
The door of that room was still shut
You won’t let me in, you won’t let me see your soul
I feel cold here, what more inside there?
Do you have a blanket to keep your soul warm?
If there’s none, let me wrap my arms around you
I called for your soul a lot of times in the gentlest way I know
Thinking I could help you survive this storm
No matter what I do,
the door was still shut.
The storm is getting stronger
Its wrath is slowly destroying the house
As I looked around,
There are no more walls to protect me
A roof to shelter me
A garden to comfort me
A fire to warm me
And I see
The only safe place
was the room where your soul is
It has no windows
or anything to let the light in
the walls are so strong
nothing won’t let it budge
not to mention, the door was heavily shut
You locked yourself up and you have no idea what’s happening outside your room.
It might protect your soul for a brief moment
But you just lost your own home.
It’s not self-protecting
It’s self-destructing.
Now, I am forced to evacuate
As I am heavily affected.
I’m waiting for you to get me
But I see you’re still locked in your little room
My love…
Where did you go?
Why did you lock yourself in?
I can’t see you
Are you still there?
I wandered for days trying to look for you
Then for the first time
I heard the trembling voice of your wounded soul
I don’t know if I will happy that you finally spoke to me
Or I will be disheartened by your words
“Let’s stop living together, I can’t shelter you no more.”
I can’t do anything
So, I left
But even so, I tried to fight
Offering my own home to shelter his vulnerable soul
Despite this, you did not show yourself to me again.
That’s the first and the last time your soul spoke to me
I heard nothing from you from then on.
Days has passed, it’s still lingering around me.
I hope this misery won’t last for years; I worry.
Every day I wake up, I feel my heart being torn.
Not just at night, but also at morning, I mourn.
I didn’t know you would be gone so soon, you’re like a yawn.
I don’t want to dwell anymore, but I’m barely moving on.
You keep appearing in my dreams
I wonder if I show up in yours.
You never once left my mind
And I hope I still linger in yours.
I’m either feeling everything at once
Or I’m just numb
This feeling is miserable
I really hope I don’t wake up.
I stopped wandering around, and went home to my house.
I got home, I was devastated to see its state
I was too focused on saving someone else’s house
That I forgot my own home is heavily affected by the storm too.
It’s so disheartening.
The thought of needing to repair my house again is weakening.
I’m so tired.
Let me just rest for a while.
I think it will take a very long time to repair this broken home.
But, come to think of it, I can build a much more stable foundation.
It might be difficult, but I’ll be able to live on my own.
In hindsight, I think I could’ve been a much better tenant.
I did so many things out of fear, when I could’ve been a little bit careful.
I was so afraid; I ignited the fire too much that it’s starting to burn everything out.
I can’t forgive myself, but I’m learning to
I only did what I know at the time
And I did everything out of love.
However, if given the chance, I really want to apologize.
And if I can be greedy, I hope you would give me a second chance.
Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I’m still rebuilding my home.
I hope you’re taking your time to rebuild yours too.
And I hope you won’t have another room for your soul to hide onto again.
Let your soul roam free.
Let your soul feel.
I was hurt and I could be mad
However, the termination of the lease was called for.
I had to leave as it’s not capable of protecting me anymore.
And it had to eliminate its tenant as its starting to crumble.
So, to not hurt anyone, it was necessary.
However, I hope it knew I was willing to stay whatever state it might be in.
There is one thing I am mad about though
I grew to resent the flowers in its garden.
Too many flowers were given to me but all of it has withered.
Obviously, flowers that were plucked out tend to wither faster.
Now, every time I’m given plucked out flowers,
I get overwhelmingly mad.
I would prefer it more if they were to plant it in my garden instead.
Rather than letting it wither, it will allow the flowers to bloom beautifully.
I’ve been living in my house
slowly, taking my time to rebuild it.
I’m doing everything I can to build a much more stable foundation,
stronger walls
and resistant-proof roofs.
Also, my small lovely garden.
Where I can rest
Keep myself warm
and a place to pour out my love to.
I will plant my own flowers
and let it bloom inside me.
Sometimes, it gets lonely
but it’s the only thing that I could do
for me.
However, I will admit that
Until now, I still see that house.
Sometimes coincidentally,
sometimes intentionally.
It still aches, but I can bear it.
The storm has calmed down, and I see the house now bathing under the sun.
I see it’s also trying to rebuild itself
I just hope it won’t overlook its cracks.
I’m happy to know it somehow survived the storm.
I just really wished I was there to help it rebuild itself.
However, as much as I wanted to,
I’m also my own home.
I remember, I am a lover.
It’s not my job to fix broken houses.
#narrative#narrative poem#poems on tumblr#poems and quotes#poems and poetry#original poem#poem#love poem#my poem#sad poem#short poem#short story#story#original story#true story#spilled words#my words#words words words#experienced#avoidant attachment#anxious attachment#secure#secure attachment#self love#lovers#love#love quotes#sad poetry#poets corner#writers and poets
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PLEASE
Complete this test for my masters thesis. It takes only 5 minutes. Thank you so much.
Please reblog and share if you can
#psych#psychology#therapy#signal boost#please boost#secure attachment#attachment style#love#relationships#relationship
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Secure attachment is going through a hard time remaining in contact with each other and coming out the other side okay.
~ D. Freeman
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been seeing a lot of hate for people with avoidant attachment style and I just want you to know that I love you, you aren't a bad person, you aren't a narcissist, you aren't manipulative, you were traumatized and I hope you are healing.
All unsecure attachment styles need to go to therapy
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Attachment security is the foundation of healthy personality and for one's future mental health. Much of a child's development depends on their environment, and you are their environment (parents/primary caregivers)
Babies are born neurologically and emotionally fragile 📖
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Closed Chapters
I let it marinate, then swell,
A quiet storm I knew too well.
It festered deep beneath the skin,
Till callused calm replaced within.
I made peace with odds and ends,
With fickle turns and fractured bends.
No use in fighting what won’t mend—
Some pages aren’t meant to extend.
So one by one, I closed each part,
Filed every scar, sealed every start.
Archived in mind, not lost, just penned—
Each chapter closed…until the end.
📕
JI
5-31-2025
#spilled poetry#poems on tumblr#the tortured poets department#poets on tumblr#poetry#closure#spilled emotions#love poem#mental health#healing#aesthetic#spilled words#poetblr#poetry blog#love poems#letting go#resilience#self preservation#self healing#secure attachment#strength#poets of tumblr#poem#original poem#creative writing#writeblr#modern poetry#dark poetry#prose and poetry#dead poets society
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