appleswan

[appleswan]

[SCRUTINIZE OUR SECRETS READER INTERACTIVE POLL]

Scrutinize Our Secrets is an interactive fanfic based on Secret Life SMP and the implications of Watcher involvement within the series.

[appleswan]

I am doing artfight this year (like actually seriously) And ermmmmm I wanna post some of my drawings and ocs on here I think. Maybe I'll start posting about dnd and stuff. I WANNA USE MY TUMBLR MORE I just forget it exists

[appleswan]

🌀 the many lives of geminitay

alternatively: i still haven't gotten over the worldhopper lore help

[appleswan]

happy 5 year anniversary

[appleswan]

"I feel bad leaving harsh critique"

Don't feel bad. I am asking. I am on my hands and knees begging. Rip my work to shreds, make me cry with how much you critique my work. Make me feel like a fucking failure. Make me feel like all my attempts to become a good writer have been futile. I need to know what I did wrong, what sounds bad. I crave to improve. Let me be a sobbing mess because of your critique for 24 hours, so that I can man up and make something better.

I cannot create something beautiful if I don't know what's ugly.

[appleswan]

“What if I write it and it’s bad-”

WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????

[appleswan]

Last Raven!Jeremy post got 50 whole notes which obviously means Im gonna post more (I was gonna do it anyways)

You know the misplaced forever partners with Neil and Jean? In this fun funky au Jeremy almost completely replaces Neil. He's added as Number 4 on the perfect court. He's treated as Jean's partner. This of course gets rid of a lot of the bad stuff that happens to Jean because Jeremy is there to watch his back and he's not pining for the perfect court position like Zane was.

But Jeremy, fresh after what was probably a not so fun rehab experience in the Nest having to prove himself. Ending up more violent, not temping his anger to 'be the better person' but embracing it in near psychotic manner. Especially when he's put on defense. He's one of the dirtiest players, not even particularly because he wants to be but because when he isn't he's the punching bag of the group. He tried to play nice for the few practices, but he learned quickly that if he plays nice then he gets hurt. They attack him. He attacks back.

And ofc. I am a big fan of a 3 dimensional Riko Moriyama, not in that people should be able to empathize with him but that he is more than just what we see in the books (which imho is very 2d)

Riko the famous homophobe notices how Jean looks at Jeremy, and how Jeremy looks at Jean, and he'll never fucking allow that to happen. But he does USE their mutual attraction against them. They are partners after all, the best backliners on the team. Big fan of fucked up dynamics. Even more a fan of fucked up codependency. Riko stirs the pot, watching as Jean and Jeremy eat each other alive.

They need each other, and love eachother, and they burn for each other. But the problem with fire is that if you're too close you get burnt. So they hurt each other, with words and actions. Physically and mentally.

And Riko is always there in the background like "if you don't do xyz things will become worse for him." The fun part is thag Riko's cruelty never wavers, he uses their blind loyalty against them. They see how bad it is, they believe that's Riko's kindness.

Kevin is there unable to do anything. And Yes, I think Kevin and Riko are a year younger than Jeremy but in this au anything is possible and they are the same age.

More ramblings to come in the near future.

[appleswan]

Jason fans I have wonderful news for yooooou

[appleswan]

Yeah sure, in another life Jeremy could have feasibly been a Fox. And I think it WOULD be fun to explore those dynamics especially considering he'd be recently sober and that messy dynamic with Matt, Andrew, and Aaron.

However, I am here to propose something different. I propose Raven Jeremy. Now now now, before I am booed off my soapbox. Mathilda likes control, she hides all of Jeremy's important documentation that could get him some semblance of freedom. But in another life perhaps she decides that if Jeremy was going to continue to pursue Exy he'd have to be best. She would want to control his exy career too. She'd send him to the best school for collegiate Exy players -- a school that could finally teach Jeremy some discipline. She'd make sure that after Jeremy got back from rehab he would transfer to Edgar Allen.

I think this has the potential for a LOT of fun situations. Im gonna be so for real before I proceed there's too many characters sometimes so I forget frequently what year everyones in and how far apart in age they all are.

Jeremy is told, almost first thing when he gets there that Ravens don't have families. He sees the sincerity in which the others say it, in their flippant attitudes towards any mention of biological parents and his heart sings. He doesn't have to be his Mothers perfect pet anymore. He can just be himself. It comes at a steep cost but so did his mothers love so what really is he giving away?

Similar to how Raven!Neil is Nathaniel Wesninski, Raven!Jeremy is Jeremy Wilshire, and he doesn't hate it. Also similar to how Neil is a striker off the Ravens, but with the Ravens he's a backliner -- Jeremy is too.

And yeah thats so that the Jerejean pining can be INTENSE.

But also The Sunshine Court JereJean. Jeremy coming back after being gone for three years. Rhemann snapping at him after a bad check during scrimmage. "Knox!" And he freezes. I have so many more insane thoughts TRUST

[appleswan]

Guys haven't been able to stop thinking about Raven Jeremy Knox, more coming tomorrow when I have coherent thoughts

[appleswan]

I run a fandom writing event

I also go to university

These two things are not the same thing. So I will be going about my day, writing my chemistry lab report and I'm like "Damn I need to do that thing" and that thing is something akin to like, fucking updating our social medias pfps or making channels in a discord server. Like!!! That's not important, my grades, my assignment! I have a lab in a half hour wtf am I ON.

[appleswan]

I just want to talk about my silly OC's for the silly game that I created out of thin air and probably some sort of drug that I took when I was in middle school. Like these guys rot my brain, their stories are like weeds that keep coming back. I want to talk about them and I want to talk about them with people!!!!!

Metachess my beloved weird ass sport that gets people killed and shouldn't exist <3

[appleswan]

Scrutinize Our Secrets Reader Interactive Poll!

[appleswan]

wildlife episode 7 spoilers!

nothing i love more than angst in my minecraft series btw. enjoy the pain i am feeling

[appleswan]

One of my least favorite things in the Hermitcraft / Life Series / Evo SMP sphere is the treatment of Grian post Watchers. Because the way people treat the CHARACTER post Evo's end is infuriating to me. (In a 'I'm very autistic' sort of way and not in a 'I actually care about what you do in the fandom' sort of way)

Because throughout Evo Grian was fighting against the Watchers, he very much did not care for their influence, and ignored a lot of their signs and warnings. The earliest example of this being when he stole from the chests in that first monument, and he ended up getting obsidian over his chests. He didn't even care about the obsidian he was just jealous that he hadn't thought of doing that FIRST.

Point is, when people end up making Grian some blithering coward Post Evo I ball my fists in rage because yes, Trauma changes a person, no I don't think Grian would become a totally different person.

Grian wouldn't fear the Watchers, after all the Life Series was his idea, right? No. He wouldn't fear the Watchers, he wouldn't be afraid of what he had become. He would hate the Watchers. He would hate himself.

[appleswan]

Cringe Culture is dead.

However, a phenomenon I have encountered recently is that of internalized cringe culture. Much like internalized other things, you ARE cringe, but believe that being cringe is inherently a bad thing. It's not. In order to truly feel the whimsy of the world you must let go of the preconceived notions that being anything but a normie is bad. I have talked at length about my fanfics to my normies friends. I am truly free. I will yap for hours about silly minecraft series that bring me joy and they do not hate me for it.

Wanna know why? Because they are truly my friends. And they do not care if I am weird. because they are also weird. We're all various shades of weird, there is no such thing as a normie. Not in the era of mass media and mass media consumption.

Be free. Be weird. Be cringe. Do not let the idea of being cringe stop you from enjoying what you enjoy freely.

[appleswan]

I've been having a Constantine hyper-fixation. I love the concept Steph following him around and bothering him.

'The Fate We Weave' by AppleSwan and loreoftheforgotten

Authors: @appleswan and @loreoftheforgotten

“Obviously,” John massages the bridge of his nose, watching as she sips hesitantly on the tap water. “I suppose my question should be why . I know that Zatanna and Bruce are… close, why not go to her with your little mythical problem?”

“Because I don’t need another Bruce. I don’t need another Tim. I don’t need someone telling me what I can and can’t do because it’s good and right and not wrong and bad. And–” She pauses, focusing her attention down at the water in her cup. “And I read Bruce’s file on you. I know you won’t care.”

“I want you to teach me to be a witch,” Stephanie looks up, meeting John's gaze with conviction. There it is. There’s the damned point.

“Pardon?” He closes his eyes, letting the gentle breeze of stale Jersey air waft into the room.

“I want to be a witch.”

“No, I heard you. I just thought that the bats were allergic to magic.”