boxofvanishingsenses - Tumblr blog

[boxofvanishingsenses]

Master Cleanse: Day 2 (25 Jan 24)

Weight loss: 2.2 lbs

- The salt water flush wasn’t as aggressive as I remember it being the last time I did this. It doesn’t taste terrible, but today I’m going to add some lemon juice.

- The cleanse tasted pretty good. I don’t love cayenne pepper but I wonder what some good alternatives are.

- I only made it through 4 of the 6 glasses because I was overly hydrated and peeing nonstop which was fine at first and then got annoying.

- Hunger wasn’t an issue and I had my one meal as dinner (doing MC x OMAD)

[boxofvanishingsenses]

50 books on the topic of eating disorders, along with brief synopses:

**Fiction:**

1. **"Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson:** A young adult novel that delves into the struggles of two friends battling anorexia and the impact on their lives.

2. **"The Best Little Girl in the World" by Steven Levenkron:** A novel that explores the life of a teenage girl as she grapples with anorexia.

3. **"Paperweight" by Meg Haston:** A young adult novel about a girl's experience in a residential treatment center for her eating disorder.

More after the jump

4. **"Hunger Point" by Jillian Medoff:** A novel that delves into the complex relationship between two sisters dealing with eating disorders.

5. **"Second Star to the Right" by Deborah Hautzig:** This novel offers a fictionalized account of a teenage girl's struggle with anorexia and her journey toward recovery.

6. **"Skinny" by Ibi Kaslik:** A novel that explores the intricate relationship between two sisters, one of whom is struggling with an eating disorder.

**Nonfiction with a Narrative Focus:**

7. **"Eating Disorders: Quiet No More" edited by Andrea C. and Harold C. Urschel:** A collection of personal essays and narratives that provide real-life perspectives on living with and recovering from eating disorders.

8. **"Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia" by Harriet Brown:** A memoir that offers a mother's perspective on her daughter's battle with anorexia and their family's journey to support her recovery.

9. **"Eating with Your Anorexic: A Mother's Memoir" by Laura Collins:** A mother's personal account of her daughter's struggle with anorexia and their family's efforts to help her heal.

10. **"Sick Enough: A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders" by Jennifer L. Gaudiani:** While it has a medical focus, this book includes patient narratives and real-life cases, providing a holistic view of eating disorders.

11. **"Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain" by Portia de Rossi:** A memoir by actress Portia de Rossi that offers a personal account of her battle with anorexia and her path to recovery.

12. **"The Rules of Inheritance" by Claire Bidwell Smith:** A memoir primarily about grief but also delves into the author's struggles with an eating disorder and how it intersected with her mourning process.

13. **"Being Ana: A Memoir of Anorexia Nervosa" by Shani Raviv:** A memoir that chronicles the author's battle with anorexia and her journey toward healing.

**Additional Nonfiction:**

14. **"Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia" by Marya Hornbacher:** A deeply personal memoir that explores the author's struggles with anorexia and bulimia.

15. **"Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationship with Food Through Myths, Metaphors, and Storytelling" by Anita Johnston:** This book explores the psychological and cultural aspects of eating disorders through the use of myths and metaphors.

16. **"Brain over Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn't Work, and How I Recovered for Good" by Kathryn Hansen:** The author shares her journey of overcoming bulimia through a unique approach that challenges traditional therapy methods.

17. **"Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too" by Jenni Schaefer:** This book blends personal narrative with practical advice on overcoming an eating disorder, personifying the eating disorder as "Ed."

18. **"Eating Disorders: The Journey to Recovery Workbook" by Laura J. Goodman and Mona Villapiano:** A practical workbook designed to guide individuals through the recovery process from eating disorders.

19. **"Eating Disorders: Anatomy of a Social Epidemic" by Tom W. Smith:** A sociological perspective on eating disorders, exploring the societal factors contributing to their prevalence.

20. **"Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders" by Aimee Liu:** This memoir explores the author's experience with anorexia and her journey to recovery.

21. **"Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa" by Joan Jacobs Brumberg:** A historical examination of anorexia nervosa and its evolution in society.

22. **"Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body" by Roxane Gay:** This memoir discusses the author's relationship with her body and explores themes of hunger and desire.

23. **"Eating Disorders in Males: A Clinical Guide" by Arnold E. Andersen and Leigh Cohn:** A comprehensive guide that focuses on eating disorders in males, providing insights into diagnosis and treatment.

24. **"The Hungry Self: Women, Eating, and Identity" by Kim Chernin:** A psychological exploration of women's relationships with food and eating as a means of self-identity.

25. **"Empty: A Memoir" by Susan Burton:** A memoir that delves into the author's experience with anorexia and her journey to recovery.

26. **"Eating Disorders and the Brain" edited by Bryan Lask and Ian Frampton:** A scientific examination of the neurological aspects of eating disorders and their impact on the brain.

27. **"Decoding Anorexia: How Breakthroughs in Science Offer Hope for Eating Disorders" by Carrie Arnold:** This book delves into the scientific understanding of anorexia and potential breakthroughs in treatment.

28. **"Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders: A New Approach to Treating Anorexia, Bulimia, and Overeating" by Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D. and Ann McMurray:** A guide that explores a holistic approach to treating eating disorders, including emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects.

29. **"The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession" by Harrison G. Pope Jr., Katharine A. Phillips, and Roberto Olivardia:** An examination of body image issues in men and the development of muscle dysmorphia.

30. **"Eating Disorders: A Parents' Guide" by Rachel Bryant-Waugh and Bryan Lask:** A resource for parents and caregivers to understand, recognize, and support their children dealing with eating disorders.

31. **"Bulimics on Bulimia" edited by Maria Stavrou and Jane B. L. Howell:** A collection of personal accounts and narratives from individuals who have experienced bulimia.

32. **"Overcoming Binge Eating" by Christopher G. Fairburn:** A guide to understanding and addressing binge eating disorder, featuring strategies for recovery.

33. **"The Secret Language of Eating Disorders: How You Can Understand and Work to Cure Anorexia and Bulimia" by Peggy Claude-Pierre:** A book that discusses the author's approach to treating eating disorders and includes personal narratives from patients.

34. **"Eating Disorders and Obesity: A Counselor's Guide to Treatment and Prevention" by Laura H. Choate:** A resource for counselors and therapists to address eating disorders and obesity in clients.

**35. "Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder" by James Lock and Daniel Le Grange:** A guide specifically aimed at parents to help them understand, support, and guide their teenagers through the recovery process.

**36. "Eating Disorders: A Patient-Centered Approach" by June Alexander and Daniel Le Grange:** This book takes a patient-centered approach to understanding and treating eating disorders, featuring personal stories from individuals who have experienced them.

**37. "Life Beyond Your Eating Disorder: Reclaim Yourself, Regain Your Health, Recover for Good" by Johanna S. Kandel:** A guide that combines the author's personal experience with practical advice for overcoming eating disorders and embracing recovery.

**38. "Binge No More: Your Guide to Overcoming Disordered Eating" by Joyce D. Nash:** A self-help book that provides strategies and insights for overcoming binge eating and disordered eating.

**39. "The Secret Life of Fat: The Science Behind the Body's Least Understood Organ and What It Means for You" by Sylvia Tara:** While not solely focused on eating disorders, this book explores the science of fat and its role in health and wellness.

**40. "Why She Feels Fat: Understanding Your Loved One's Eating Disorder and How You Can Help" by Johanna S. Kandel:** A guide for family members and loved ones to understand and support someone with an eating disorder.

**41. "Eating Disorders: Personal Experiences" edited by Allison Stark Draper and Nancy D. Worrell:** A collection of essays and narratives from individuals who have experienced eating disorders, providing diverse perspectives.

**42. "My Kid Is Back: Empowering Parents to Beat Anorexia Nervosa" by June Alexander and Daniel Le Grange:** A guide for parents to support their children in overcoming anorexia nervosa.

**43. "Body Wars: Making Peace with Women's Bodies (An Activist's Guide)" by Margo Maine:** This book explores the societal pressures and activism surrounding women's body image and eating disorders.

**44. "Eating Disorders: The Facts" by Suzanne Abraham and Derek Llewellyn-Jones:** A concise and informative guide that provides facts and insights about eating disorders.

**45. "The Eating Disorders Sourcebook: A Comprehensive Guide to the Causes, Treatments, and Prevention of Eating Disorders" by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb:** This comprehensive guide offers insights into the causes, treatments, and prevention of eating disorders.

**46. "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body" by Courtney E. Martin:** An exploration of body image issues and eating disorders in the context of contemporary culture.

**47. "Eating Disorders and Obesity: How Drugs Can Help" edited by W. Kaye and H. A. Wadden:** This book explores the role of medications in the treatment of eating disorders and obesity.

**48. "Eating Disorders: A Question and Answer Book" by Ruth L. Burke and Cary L. Mariash:** A question-and-answer format book that provides information and insights into eating disorders.

**49. "The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook: An Integrated Approach to Overcoming Disordered Eating" by Carolyn Coker Ross:** A workbook that offers exercises and strategies for individuals dealing with binge eating and compulsive overeating.

**50. "Feeding the Fame: Celebrities Tell Their Real-Life Stories of Eating Disorders and Recovery" edited by Gary Stromberg and Jane Merrill:** A collection of personal stories from celebrities who have experienced eating disorders, shedding light on the challenges and recovery process.

These books cover a wide range of perspectives on eating disorders, from personal narratives to scientific insights.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

1. **"A Secret Between Friends: A Moment of Truth Movie" (1996):** A TV movie that portrays the friendship between two girls and the impact of one girl's battle with bulimia on their relationship.

2. **"Deadly Advice" (1994):** A dark comedy that features a subplot involving a woman's struggle with bulimia.

3. **"Dying to Be Perfect: The Ellen Hart Pena Story" (1996):** A TV movie based on a true story, it portrays the life of a young woman who struggles with anorexia while pursuing a career in modeling.

4. **"Dying to Dance" (2001):** A TV movie that delves into the life of a ballet dancer who faces pressure to maintain a certain weight, leading to an eating disorder.

5. **"Everyday Black Man" (2010):** A drama that includes a subplot about a young woman's struggle with anorexia and the impact on her family.

6. **"For the Love of Grace" (2008):** A TV movie that explores the story of a woman who confronts her past struggles with bulimia while navigating a new relationship.

7. **"For the Love of Nancy" (1994):** This TV movie tells the story of a college student's struggle with anorexia and her family's efforts to support her recovery.

8. **"Ghost World" (2001):** A dark comedy-drama with a character who exhibits signs of disordered eating and body image issues.

9. **"Girl, Interrupted" (1999):** A drama based on the memoir of Susanna Kaysen, who spent time in a psychiatric hospital and discusses issues of mental health and body image.

10. **"Gut Feeling" (1999):** A TV movie that tells the story of a young woman dealing with bulimia and the impact on her relationships.

11. **"Hope Ranch" (2020):** A drama that tells the story of a troubled teenager who, among other issues, is dealing with an eating disorder and finds solace in a horse ranch program.

12. **"Hungry for Change" (2012):** A documentary that explores the food industry's impact on health and includes segments on overcoming eating disorders.

13. **"Perfect Body" (1997):** A TV movie that portrays the journey of a young gymnast dealing with bulimia as she pursues perfection in her sport.

14. **"Sharing the Secret" (2000):** A TV movie centered on the relationship between a teenage girl and her mother as they confront the girl's battle with bulimia.

15. **"Starving in Suburbia" (2014):** A TV movie that portrays a teenager's battle with an eating disorder and her involvement in an online pro-ana community.

16. **"Super Slim Me" (2007):** A documentary that follows the journey of two journalists as they attempt extreme diets, including one focused on emulating supermodels' eating habits.

17. **"The Best Little Girl in the World" (1981):** Based on the novel by Steven Levenkron, this TV movie focuses on the life of a teenage girl as she grapples with anorexia.

18. **"The Best of Me" (2014):** A romantic drama that includes a subplot about a character's struggle with an eating disorder.

19. **"The Girl in the Book" (2015):** A drama that explores the aftermath of a young woman's traumatic past, including issues related to body image and self-esteem.

20. **"The Karen Carpenter Story" (1989):** A TV movie biopic that chronicles the life and tragic death of singer Karen Carpenter, who suffered from anorexia nervosa.

21. **"The Riot Club" (2014):** A drama featuring a character who struggles with bulimia, which is a subplot in the film.

22. **"The Road Within" (2014):** A dramedy that follows three young adults with various disorders, including anorexia and Tourette syndrome, on a road trip of self-discovery.

23. **"Thin" (2006):** A documentary that offers an intimate look into the lives of individuals receiving treatment for anorexia nervosa at a residential facility.

24. **"To the Bone" (2017):** A drama that follows a young woman's battle with anorexia as she enters a group recovery home in search of healing.

25. **"Mommy, I Didn't Do It" (2017):** A TV movie that includes a subplot about a teenager's struggle with bulimia and her mother's legal efforts to help her.

26. **"Gaining" (2006):** A documentary that explores the experiences of women recovering from eating disorders and their journeys toward self-acceptance.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

1. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

2. "I'm not hungry; I'm just bored."

3. "Eating is cheating."

4. "Stay strong; don't eat."

5. "Hunger is the best sauce."

6. "You can never be too thin."

7. "Thigh gap or die."

8. "Bones are beautiful."

9. "I'm not sick; I'm just in control."

10. "Food is the enemy."

11. "Skinny is the new pretty."

12. "Calories don't count if no one sees you eat them."

13. "Hungry, but not hungry."

14. "Eating is a sign of weakness."

15. "Fat is a feeling."

16. "Size zero is the only hero."

17. "Food is the enemy; starvation is my friend."

18. "I'm not hungry; I'm just disciplined."

19. "I'd rather be a skeleton than be fat."

20. "Thinspiration for life."

21. "Food is the cure for hunger, not the answer."

22. "Starving is an art; anyone can eat."

23. "The scale doesn't lie."

24. "Nothing tastes as good as control feels."

25. "Skinny thoughts, skinny results."

26. "My worth is determined by my weight."

27. "Thin is in; fat is failure."

28. "Control the food, control your life."

29. "Starvation is salvation."

30. "Food is the enemy of progress."

31. "Binge now, purge later."

32. "Eating is giving in."

33. "I'm not hungry; I'm strong."

34. "Hunger is a sign of success."

35. "Deny, don't satisfy."

36. "To be skinny is to be perfect."

37. "Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe dedicated."

38. "I'm not hungry; I'm just on a diet."

39. "Nothing tastes as good as self-control feels."

40. "I'd rather be underweight than overweight."

41. "Eating is for the weak."

42. "Starvation mode is a myth."

43. "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels."

44. "Hunger is just weakness leaving the body."

45. "To eat is to fail."

46. "Eating is for the birds."

47. "You can't be too rich or too thin."

48. "I'm not hungry; I'm just strong-willed."

49. "Skinny is the ultimate beauty."

50. "Calories are the enemy."

51. "My value is tied to my weight."

52. "Size matters."

53. "Hunger is a sign of discipline."

54. "I'll start my diet tomorrow."

55. "Hunger is power."

56. "Binging is the enemy."

57. "Only eat when you're truly hungry."

58. "To be skinny is to be happy."

59. "I'm not hungry; I'm just in control."

60. "Food is the enemy of progress."

61. "To be thin is to be perfect."

62. "Eating is cheating."

63. "Strength comes from self-control."

64. "Hunger is a sign of willpower."

65. "Starving is the only option."

66. "To eat is to fail."

67. "The scale never lies."

68. "Thin is in; fat is failure."

69. "I'm not hungry; I'm just strong-willed."

70. "To be skinny is to be beautiful."

71. "Calories are the enemy."

72. "My worth is tied to my weight."

73. "Hunger is a sign of discipline."

74. "Size matters."

75. "I'll start my diet tomorrow."

76. "Binging is the enemy."

77. "Only eat when you're truly hungry."

78. "To be skinny is to be happy."

79. "I'm not hungry; I'm just in control."

80. "Food is the enemy of progress."

81. "To be thin is to be perfect."

82. "Eating is cheating."

83. "Strength comes from self-control."

84. "Hunger is a sign of willpower."

85. "Starving is the only option."

86. "To eat is to fail."

87. "The scale never lies."

88. "Food is the enemy of progress."

89. "Thin is in; fat is failure."

90. "I'm not hungry; I'm just strong-willed."

91. "To be skinny is to be beautiful."

92. "Calories are the enemy."

93. "My worth is tied to my weight."

94. "Hunger is a sign of discipline."

95. "Size matters."

96. "I'll start my diet tomorrow."

97. "Binging is the enemy."

98. "Only eat when you're truly hungry."

99. "To be skinny is to be happy."

100. "I'm not hungry; I'm just in control."

Repeats intentional.

Just a list I’ve been keeping.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

water for dinner

hunger pangs for dessert

lmk if I should drop the recipe

[boxofvanishingsenses]

27 mins. An interesting look at how far we’ve come as a society. And yet how some things are still the same.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

100 cal raspberry & cream cheese pancake

This tastes like heaven ☁️

[boxofvanishingsenses]

100 cal grilled chicken & steamed veggies

Season to your heart’s content. I used Chinese 5 spice, ginger and crushed red pepper (after I took the pic)

[boxofvanishingsenses]

Today’s goal:

Only eat “active” calories. If I don’t pre-burn it, I can’t eat it back. Considering I burned 1300 yesterday. That should be a good goal.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

31 August 2023

Daily calories:

1034 food - 1339 activity = -305 net cals

We love a net calorie deficit.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

I just bought a cheap digital camera to take body check photos. I don’t want that shit living in the cloud or on my phone where someone could see it. A memory card is super easy to encrypt and hide.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

200 cal egg sandwich and fruit salad with cucumbers

[boxofvanishingsenses]

Down 8 lbs in 1 month.

Updated: 9/16

🔜 156

157 - 9/16

158 - skipped

159 - 8/31

160 - 8/30

161 - 8/29

162 - skipped

163 - 8/27

164 - 8/19

165 - 8/16

[boxofvanishingsenses]

30 Aug 2023

Daily Calories:

800 food - 779 = 21 net cals

[boxofvanishingsenses]

75 cal raspberry & cheese ‘danish’

Friendly reminder:

Serving sizes on nutrition labels are for ordinary people, and you Darling, well you’re extraordinary—buy and kitchen scale and use portion control to your benefit 🎀

[boxofvanishingsenses]

8/30/2023

164

163

162

161

160.3

🔜 159

158

157

156

Hmm exercise and restriction does work.

[boxofvanishingsenses]

29 Aug 2023

Daily Calories:

872 food - 657 activity = 215 cals

Goal is to keep net cals under 1k