cronusvirion

[cronusvirion]

"Aesop"

No one stays up late anymore.

My thoughts sit like idling sportscars encroaching the crosswalk at a redlight on some empty downtown city street.

No, not empty. *Abandoned.

Where are all the jocks?

The whores?

The bakers, the Quakers, the candlestick makers?

Whimsy and wonder gave way to mortgages and cholesterol watching.

Gaming's been replaced with "playing the game."

Visit the dentist every six months.

Get a full eight hours nightly.

Then wake and slurp down your Instagram cereal as you yawn your way through your predawn treadmill.

You have to remind the dry cleaners not to use too much starch this time -- allergies.

You're almost out of kale -- the weed dried up years ago.

You can't hear the music so well anymore but you turn it down anyway.

Noisy neighbors make you chuckle.

Upstair neighbors make you homicidal.

Tums by the bed.

A fresh roll of toilet paper always in the bullpen.

"Where have all my years gone?"

And It replies:

"They're with your friends."

[cronusvirion]

"Compass"

A white butterfly glows like the moon before me.

Clearly no albedo.

Lips make way for breath;

Dewdrops form from melted frost on leaves of grass as the eastern horizon begins to warm.

Three eyes, staring at their mirror in the dark, three inches apart...

The lamplight cascading violet,

You and I both becoming violent,

Didn't heed your warning so then I went,

And fell between your eyes.

Words poetic through hair and whisper,

Scent of red wine and laughter.

Your fingertips leave tracers across the bedroom sky,

My eyes lose the struggle to keep up...

Relax, then shut.

Alone in our universe now.

Never lost, yet somehow found.

No need for color, no place for sound.

Yet some would beg to differ.

If stitches past reveal a scar, calibrate my compass to your truth.

No less than all of you depends on stress-induced abuse so you can transcend;

An anathema to choose which arm to lose in place of friends.

No rhythm nor rhyme this time,

Only happenstance,

A country dance on the beach.

A skydiver buying scuba gear.

Is that what you've been longing to hear?

A salty word to sting your ear?

Frequent thoughts amount to fear of such loss, distant or near.

It's costing you year after year after year.

The violet betrays the frown in your eyes,

The tears in your teeth,

The despair in your smile.

My thumb to your cheek, and you stay for a while.

Well I'll clasp harder your hand while you grip my sides with fiercely intentioned thighs.

Eyelashes wide, with eyes open we sigh.

Knowing we both have some time.

Cradle you a goodnight and curl up at your side.

Already a memory; a dream in the night.

[cronusvirion]

"Oneirology"

I could have sworn I let you out already,

Didn't mean to make you pout when I said I doubt you would find any,

For to each his or her own -- there's bound to be plenty,

While a heaven-kissed princess lays in a field made of callelillies.

In her lap, a Daisy.

In her heart, a baby.

In her past, rapid ruthless attacks to make her bleed angry.

Still the sky won't fall,

The stars come out for one last curtain call,

With the Alpha shining more brightly than all,

I'll catch it and light a match to your wall.

A flare in the night, it illuminates all while I ruminate about what I think I just saw.

The floor is too greedy with my shock and awe, often refusing to give me back my jaw.

It's a glimmer -- I know one worth chasing.

I let it simmer, grin getting bigger by the notes that I'm tasting.

Suppose it is love -- old habits misbehaving,

In place of a diamond sits my star, the last beat of this battered heart that's worth saving.

bh

[cronusvirion]

"Windowpane"

Snuffluffagus had never before seen the world as colorful--nay--as *honest as he did now. It was as if the veil of a lifetime of deceit had been lifted in an instant...all due to some flavorless, playfully decorated tabs of paper that dissolved on his tongue. The stranger's words had rung hollow at the time:

"Only take one," the old crone had said. "For if you take all four at once, you will be as Eve was in that heavenly garden -- butt-ass naked, talking to snakes like some sort of cracked out Cinderella, without an Adam to talk you down."

But now Snuffy understood completely. The little green cantankerous beast often seen rummaging through trash cans wasn't a beast at all. He was a homeless man named Oscar, down on his luck. The local vampire often seen wandering the streets at night whom the neighborhood had dubbed "The Count" was nothing more than your garden variety pimp, managing his top and bottom bitches to ruthless effect. The closeted gay couple Bert and Ernie -- so obviously hiding in plain sight as mere roommates -- bickered in ways that could only come from lifelong lovers, not fratboys.

But most shocking of all: Snuffy's best friend and confidant was barely a shadow of the big yellow bird in his mind and memories. He was but a simple pigeon, bleached yellow like a canary, always asking for a handout, and after more than twenty-two years on the street and countless lessons, he *still somehow failed to grasp the ABC's of the English language.

Snuffluffagus wiped away a single tear -- only one -- as he realized the LSD wasn't the real drug at all...

It was the *sesame.

He turned and walked back down the street of his past toward the street of his future. He found himself wishing no one had ever told him how to get to Sesame Street. He would never want to go there even if he knew the way.

With eyes now open, Snuffy ventured out into the night alone. Fearless. Hopeful. And woke af.

[cronusvirion]

"Eminence Hill" (2019) screengrabs

[cronusvirion]

Difficult monologue by the late great George Carlin...

[cronusvirion]

Character montage. Ridiculous.

[cronusvirion]

"Halloween" snapchat character

[cronusvirion]

"Snapchat on Acid"

[cronusvirion]

BTS on "Eminence Hill" on location Phoenix, AZ January 2019. My character's POV.

[cronusvirion]

Actor, writer, father, Brandon

[cronusvirion]

"Thou shalt not know hate."

-- 11th Commandment

[cronusvirion]

"Wreck"

<verse 1>

Grab a hand and enter, friend.

I once said, "Never again."

But bend your end and thread the laces red,

(Take or send? One through ten?)

Like raindrops dropping til you're sopping wet and naughty,

You whispered something but I missed it, love -- I'm sorry.

My fingers taunt the way you flaunt a wave of goosebumps all across your body.

(Tilt your head. Drench the bed.)

Her shadow's raven quoth the craving she's been saving for me.

Her finger sparkles but I just don't see a ring.

I find her candor with her rancor more exhilarating.

(Head down. Not a sound.)

<pre-chorus 1>

-- Underground, wide open mouth.

-- Tongue spinning 'round and 'round.

-- Petals splitting; "No screaming now."

-- Obsession pressing me to let you out...

<chorus 1>

Shake. Quake. For fuck's sake...

...hold my feet to the fire.

So grateful...

...you went and called me a "Liar."

Now save yourself -- I'm falling in,

Save yourself before the reckoning, and...

Save yourself -- I'm all in.

(want some more?)

What would I save this for?

(lock the door)

You fucking entertainment whore.

<BREAK>

<verse 2>

What did I say that for?

Haven't been the same since I thought it.

"What would I save it for?"

(Just set it, then forget it)

Little entertainment whore,

Grab a hand of antipsychotics --

Come meet me on the basement floor.

(Ha ha. Uh huh.)

Drain the sap and tap once more.

Is it a sin to binge on erotics?

How 'come I've never won before?

<prechorus 2>

-- Can't trust how I envision you.

-- What does it take to get *under you?

-- Why is a lie the best kind of truth?

-- While locking eyes and sliding into you...

<chorus 2>

Shake. Quake. Mistake...

...my scream for desire.

So grateful...

...you went and called me a "Liar."

Now save yourself; I'm falling in.

Save yourself, before I wreck again, and...

Save yourself--I'm all in.

(want some more?)

What sin?

(lock the door)

Pull me in.

...<SOLO>...

<bridge>

Linger here, my dear, too near, and you will find,

All. Your. Fears...were justified.

<final chorus>

Shake. Quake. Take...

...away the heat of the ire.

No way now for us to let this heartache expire.

Save yourself; I'm falling in.

Save yourself before I wreck again, and...

Save yourself -- I'm all in.

(want some more?)

Headspin...

(lock the door)

I win.

<outro>

(Only friends) My twin...

(Cum again) Let's sin...

(Don't pretend) Fallin'...

(Say again) Callin'...

(Slow hand) Darlin'...

(Quick "sand") Crawlin'...

(Slow hand) Fall...in.

(Quicksand)

...

Crawl in.

[cronusvirion]

"Winter's Dawn"

Solo, boots crunch through the path hidden in snow,

I chased the rainbow but found no gold.

The hearth teases reprieve from the forest cold,

Through frosted windows a fire glows.

But the dorm before my eyes sits occupied,

A stranger's hand upon her thigh,

Their silhouettes allow my tears to hide,

As salt streaks down my cheeks, then crystallize.

Dare I knock? How could I enter?

The land quakes as I taunt the epicenter.

My heart beats "maybe" while my mind thinks "never,"

A more patient man might stand forever.

Am I too clever, or perhaps desperate?

My soul is roasted like a chestnut.

With both feet forward I'll try my best,

But my lips do quiver at the question.

Alone by the fire I sense her desire,

Her body, her soul, mind and much more to admire.

A smile that could drive a man's heart to expire,

She leads me in back to engulf in her fire.

She tells me I've made the chill disappear,

She tells me sweet things I've been longing to hear.

This familiar stranger puts lips to my ear,

And tells me how she's missed me year after year.

The grandfather tolls twelve, without revealing a pumpkin,

No glass on her feet -- her chest rhythmically thumping.

Entreats with her eyes that I please show her something,

I hesitate in doubt, and would regret a presumption.

Our eyes waltz mere inches apart,

Our fingers clasp, harmonize the heart.

Can't bear to stop, too unnerved to start,

The fire's glow shows God's work of art.

Her touch is electric,

My mind spins eccentric.

Her fragrance is mystic,

No will to resist it.

Lips graze each other's as we share a breath,

Her cheeks flush red while I'm scared to death.

Exposing her shoulder, and my mind is set,

The glow of the fire dimming as I lift her to bed.

Fused at the hips, we've at last become one,

Neither of us sense this is the slightest bit wrong,

Life is a symphony--we are but a song,

They say life is short--I assert it is long.

Her name means "Christmas,"

What earthly gift is this?

Do I act a fool, give in, or do my best to resist?

Bathed in moonlight her body insists,

As I pin down her wrists, her body submits.

If there was a warning, I surely must have just missed it,

Her moon-glistened rose, I so hungrily kissed it.

Legs entwined with toes curled warm in a blanket,

With eyes closed our hands fold so intensely persistent.

We release just the same,

Bodies thrash while we came,

Her honey runs down my leg,

I savor her sweat until I'm drained.

Her lashes flicker over eyes of a fawn,

With tears in her eyes, I slip out before dawn.

Back in the cold, I keep warm with our song,

I may miss her tomorrow, but it won't be for long.

Last glance at the cabin, in the window she's wrapped in lace,

A smile of luxury, eyes full of grace.

Such radiant light reveals her true face,

And I realize, at last, I have found my true place.

Kept warm by our song, my heart quickens its pace,

Until at last comes the dawn -- time no longer frozen in place.

B.H. 12/6/18

[cronusvirion]

"Suture"

Into your pupils I start to fall...

Echo your call...

Your skin it whispers...

As I scratch the wall.

I feel a difference above it all...

This isn't mischief--it's karmic law.

Upon the canvas two lovers sprawl.

Farewell to Kansas; this kind of dance is...

Our carnal ball...

A carnival...

Without insistence...

We took it all.

With sacred kisses...

We shame them all.

And closed the distance...

Once 'n for all.

[cronusvirion]

[cronusvirion]

"Q & A"

Her nuzzling had settled and her hair was beginning to feel less and less damp. We must have been laying in her little bed for twenty minutes now. I thought she was nearly out, until my 5-year-old daughter took the thumb out of her mouth, sat up and asked:

"Dad, what's 'honesty'?"

A twinge of bemused excitement staggers my thought processes for a split second while I formulate a simple, child-friendly answer.

"Truth-tellingness."

"Oh...'cuz if you don't tell the truth, you're lying."

"Right," I said. "And lying is bad. 'Honesty is the best policy.' You should tell the truth whenever possible."

"Dad, what's a lightning bulb?"

"A lightning *bolt? B-O-L-T?"

"Yeah, I mean, what IS it?"

"It's energy. You remember when you shocked yourself upstairs?"

"No..."

"Yeah you do. Your mom told me the story; you went upstairs looking for a curling iron or something and there was an exposed wire and it shocked your little hand. Your mom said you didn't even cry."

"OH! I've been shocked by the slide!"

"...Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah that's 'static electricity.' Lightning is a big bolt of electricity. It's a shock the clouds make with the ground."

"Dad, what's 'energy'?"

This one stumps me for a second, then:

"When you're tired at the end of the day and you say 'I got no more energy,' it means you ran out of power to do things, and you must sleep to recharge your battery."

"Like your phone?"

"Like my phone, yes. Energy is the fuel you use to get things done -- to light your bedroom...to make the car go...to get out of bed in the morning -- we ARE energy. YOU are energy, and lots of it. That's why you're so warm all the time."

She feels her forehead with a smirk on her face as her mom sticks her head in the bedroom door to remind us both it's past her bedtime.

After a few more minutes of just the two of us, still and silent...

"Dad?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"No one is smarter than you."

"Hmph. Think so, huh?"

"Mmhm."

And she turns into me, burying her face into my chest, as if to hope that maybe if she presses hard enough this time, our hearts would merge and she'd never have to miss me again.

I waited for the soft sounds of her breathing to deepen as I held her head still to my chest and slipped out from under the little redhead in one fluid motion.

Outside her bedroom door, I smiled. "The kid asks good questions."

It wasn't until I got in my car and started pulling away from the family I had once called my own that my smile began to fade as I pondered a distressing new revelation:

"How much longer until she starts asking *those questions?"

I held back the tears until my daughter's home was safely out of range of the rearview, and drove off into the night alone.