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Do you ever just come up with the most absurd headcanons at 3 in the morning like "Bruce has such a great sense of smell that he can tell each of his kids from their scent alone."

Like oh wow now I'm just imagining that man having a patrol accident that left him temporarily blind but anytime any of the kids come up to him he can instantly tell who it is.

It doesn't matter if it's body odour, cologne. perfume or their natural smell. He can tell, and he can tell at the slightest whiff. Even he didn't know his sense of smell was that sensitive but he's secretly delighted by the new discovery.

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I love Gothamite POVs. Idk bruh sumn about it is so addicting, being an unassuming civilian in Gotham is like being a Seven-Eleven cashier that has a dating history with Barack Obama.

"Oh, you talking about Nightwing? Yeah the guy's chill. He did borrow my car for a chase once and crashed it but hey at least he bought a new one."

"Oh, Red Hood? He's not THAT scary. He caught me trying to trash my ex's car and he actually told me better ways to screw it up without getting sued. Pretty cool guy."

"I don't know man, I've served that one Robin before at my diner and he couldn't even finish the drink before passing out on one of the booths. Closed in late cuz I didn't wanna wake the poor dude up and got a big tip out of it so that's that."

"Yeah the purple one sells glitter, I'm not fucking kidding! Friend of mine needed some for an art project and she showed up by their window. Crazy stuff."

"Fed a stray once and stumbles upon that little guy. Didn't plan on taking in a pet but I got some good tips about animal care anyways. Just don't call him "little", I guess."

"Oh, you talking about the mini Batman? Batgirl, was it? I don't know, could never keep up with those guys. But I gave her some leftover cookies for saving me and she pet my head. It was nice."

"Listen, a broke college student could ask the bat dude himself for candies and he'd prolly give them two. Speaking from personal experience."

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And hence why his favourite spot when kissing Bruce is on the pulse in his neck and wrist. He does it every time before a huge mission, as a good luck charm.

Clark’s favorite place to lay is with his head on Bruce’s chest, right over his heart. Sure, he can hear Bruce’s heartbeat wherever he is, but there’s just something comforting about hearing it from the source. Something about the mundanity of hearing it because it’s right there rather than hearing it abstractly across a distance through his powers, but also being able to hear it so clearly in a way a human never fully could. Being able to feel the minute rise and fall of his chest with every beat. The source of Bruce’s life, safe and calm beneath him.

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I need Bruce to have grand babies. I need that man slay the baby wrap on a Tuesday while he handles meetings and paperwork. I need that man as a baby magnet where the grand babies just love to stick to him and he pays absolutely no mind.

I need that man snoring in utter bliss while a baby is full on smacked dab oh his face cuz "Oh my God, I knew babies smelled special but not THIS good-"

I need that man retired from the mantle and be a full Grandpa, to the point his own kids wouldn't blink an eye to one or two of their kids missing cuz fat chance the grumpy old man by the manor is buried under them or playing Miss Rachel on the dummy huge TV in the family lounge.

Let the old man rest, damn it. Get him a baby. Or better yet, someone impregnate that man.

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Boy do I love when Superman is drawn in this noble pose with the red cape flowing behind him like a river. Then Batman is drawn like a very lengthy... pillar. And dark... very dark.

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"The batkids would ask for money and Bruce would hand it to them unquestioningly" no, screw you. They have his account number, card and wallet in their inventory and uses them at will no matter if Bruce knows or not.

Does he know he's constantly exploited by his own kids? Yes. Does he mind? No, not really. Does he question what they use it for? Only if the cost is concerningky large, which in Bruce's radar, is highly unlikely. Does he scold them for it? No, but he does judge what they use it for. Valley girl style.

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Need me some Justice Lords superbat fic that has same vibes as One More Night by Maroon 5. Like hear me out... 🙏

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And Bruce has this mindset cuz he was just as touchy and affectionate with his friends back in the days too. (They were all actually tryna bang him but bro was too oblivious to notice)

just bruce being oblivious to his children's relationship:

——————

Dick, cuddling with Wally on the couch in the family's den, whispering 'I love yous':

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Jason, bringing Roy home one day for a family dinner, hands never leaving each other the entire time:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Tim, wearing Kon's jacket, the half-Kryptonian following him everywhere he go like a lost puppy:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Cass, straddling Steph's lap and kissing her face:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Damian (18), literally getting caught making out with Jon in his room:

Bruce: They... hmmm. Are such good friends.

Duke, behind him: For fuck's sake, Bruce.

Alfred, probably, somewhere in the Manor: World's Greatest Detective my ass.

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I second, third, fourth this.

I can't pick my favourite Bruce Wayne ship I think they should all gangbang him

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I'm probably about to talk out of my ass here, so bear with me.

Jason? Jason, right? And the song Porcelain, by Faouzia. This shit has been PLAYING in my mind like a broken fucking record and I NEED someone to tell me I'm not going insane for this.

Just LISTEN to the lyrics. It's so Jason's thoughts towards Bruce. Like, not when they've somewhat reconciled. I'm talking about the ANGST, the height of their fallout. The times that all that conflict just clings to their backs. Just, JASON'S VOICE TOWARDS BRUCE.

Idc if it's "too fanon", I just warned you I'm prolly about to talk out of my ass for this and you still stayed. My train of thoughts turned to shackles you chained to your own wrists and you either stay or a escape with a bitter taste in your mouth.

Choose.

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The biggest legacy of two impactful individuals being conflicted about their place in the world and wanting to choose a peaceful path for themselves will ALWAYS be a delicious trope, and I eat that shit UP.

Not even because of the conflict and drama itself, but because of the absolute cards hidden up their sleeves after years of their past hidden away. Oh they're a normal civilian? WRONG, give them a week to brush up on all the rust and they're good to go to war.

Oh their parents are basic people who work 9-5? WRONG, they're SO influential and powerful you're nothing but an ant before their might.

But then there's their child. Quiet, normal, mediocre from head to toe aside from a little dash of face card there and a little dash of built body here.

Yes, I'm talking about you Damian sweetheart. My baby boy with a future doctorate. I love you 💞

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Aged up JonDami except Jon has been courting Dami for years but Dami already thought they were together.

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"Me and the baddie I pulled by being autistic" except it's Bruce Wayne with every fucking ship.

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Preach 👏 ✨️

bruce calls all of them his sons,

dick calls them his brothers,

tim calls them his team,

damian calls them his sidekicks,

jason doesn't call, he's just always there when they need him.

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Superbat, but make it they have to act as a couple for a mission, and they struggle to balance between how a loving couple would treat each other and how comfortable the other would be to that excessive behavior.

Except they already subconsciously treat each other like an old, loving couple. The attentiveness, like Clark brushing a stray hair out of Bruce's face while he talks. Or Bruce, reaching up to fix Clark's glasses that are slightly askew. They're constantly levitating into each other's space whenever one of them strays too far. Painfully casual intimacy with the way Clark would always hover around Bruce, keeping eyes and ears on everyone that ever gets too near. And how Bruce simply allows Clark to lead and touch him wherever, his mind automatically cataloguing it as something necessary and trivial, because he trusts that any demand or request from the super is consideration for his safety.

The whole undercover mission is just them gradually coming to the realisation that "holy shit so that's how others have been seeing us this whole time???" And "Oh my God I don't think this is acting anymore."

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The best part of this is every gothamite watching this and going "slay king 💅"

I want someone to write a fic of Bruce decking a guy right on the face or just plain out lecturing them and I don't mean as Batman, but as Bruce.

Give me Bruce Wayne decking a mugger when it attempted to kill a little kid.

Give me Bruce Wayne rocking a r@p1st's shit when someone almost became a victim of r@pe.

Give me Bruce Wayne lecturing a married couple for leaving their baby unattended that almost got it killed.

Give me Bruce Wayne wacking a minor rogue after it tried to kidnap Dick a few weeks after his adoption.

Give me Bruce Wayne destroying the Joker on sight after he killed Jason and/or after he Jokerized Duke's parents, not stopping even if he started crying and whimpering from undeniable pain. (The crowd around them cheered in delight)

Give me Bruce Wayne yelling at the Drake's face for leaving Tim with a nanny while they travel the world for "business purposes". (He hit Jack back at the head with a bat and knocked Janet out with a brick)

Give me Bruce Wayne yelling at the paparazzi (ahem, Vicky Vale) for taking pictures of his kids when he specifically asked them not too take any photos so it won't give them anxiety having their face across the internet.

Just give me Bruce Wayne being That Guy™ and absolutely rocking everyone's shit for being a piece of shit

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Clark: you're so beautiful

Bruce: *eye bags the size of Antarctica after pulling four consecutive all nighters, stubble from lack of shaving, in a robe with questionable stains and wrinkles, hair oily and tousled like he just dove into a hurricane*

Bruce: .... what.

I like to think that Clark is so damn in love with Bruce that sometimes he just stares at him for several minutes, with a look of adoration and affection which anyone who saw him would realize how in love he is. It really is an unconscious act, after all Clark still marvels and asks, how could he have made someone like Bruce fall in love with him?, this question does not arise from a lack of self-confidence, it arises from the fact that for him, Bruce is someone very beautiful and perfect, and he is grateful to have him by his side.

Clark: you're so beautiful

Bruce: what? *Feels a little embarrassed*

Clark: I said *kiss* you're beautiful

And then, every chance Clark gets he reminds Bruce how beautiful he is, stealing a kiss in the process.