#superbat headcanon

[violent138]

You know how sometimes they freeze a person's body for long into the future, occasionally as a means for that person to get treatment with future remedies? I feel like Clark Kent (in the absence of a Lazarus pit or some other means that he tried), would one hundred percent have a Bruce-sicle in the Fortress of Solitude. Just waiting until he can revive him.

[superbatdisasterblog]

Okay hear me out…

Bruce Wayne hasn’t been picked up since he was a child. He is 6’2”. He is tall, and strong, and he has wide shoulders, and thicc thighs, and he looms over other people.

Then Superman shows up and throws his whole world off kilter.

With one arm wrapped around Bruce’s waist, Clark just lifts Bruce up like he weighs nothing and smiles up at Bruce with sunshine in his pretty eyes and dimples in his cheeks—

And Bruce really, really isn’t prepared for the feelings that awakens in him.

[vodrae]

Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

[murmeloni]

I need more fanboy Clark Kent in my life.

Like, he's seen Bruce Wayne interact with a child once and immediately fell in love with the guy. Now his bedroom walls are plastered with posters and he follows several social media accounts focused on capturing pictures of Bruce with kids and/or animals etc. He defends Bruce to anyone, no matter the antics he gets up to and it has become a bit of a running gag around the office.

Then, one day, Cat is out sick and someone jokingly suggests Clark should cover the gala in her stead, seeing as Bruce Wayne will be there and maybe this'll be Clark's shot to finally get his man? To everyone's surprise, Perry really does assign the gala coverage to Clark, who spends the days leading up to the event in a state somewhere between absolute panic and ultimate bliss.

But when the day finally arrives, Bruce doesn't show.

Of course Clark does his job and interviews everyone there (yes, even Lex Luthor) but a part of him spends all night waiting for Bruce to crash the party late, like he so often does.

Eventually, Clark gives up hope and it's shortly after that, that he stumbles upon one of the children dragged along to the event by their parents. Because apparently someone thought a charity gala was a good environment for an eight year old. The parents are nowhere in sight and the child is close to tears, so Clark makes it his mission to cheer the little girl up, regaling her with stories from his upbringing on a Kansas farm while he searches the crowd for her family.

With Clark thus occupied, he doesn't notice Bruce Wayne finally making his appearance for the night. But Bruce definitely notices him. The gentle giant who's all kind smiles and corny jokes... Until he finds the girl's parents. Uncaring of the fact that he's here on a job and that these people are richer than any one person should be and could easily sue him into oblivion, he takes them aside, fire in his eyes, and tears them a new one for losing track of their kid like this. Anything could have happened to her and maybe the readers of the Daily Planet would like to know about that? After all, how reliable and trustworthy could a company whose CEOs won't even look after their own daughter really be?

Bruce is immediately smitten. The passive-aggressive lecture and subtle threats - not to mention the broad shoulders and handsome face - are incredibly attractive to him and he wastes no time cornering the man afterwards.

Clark, who is so starstruck by the mere sight of Bruce coming towards him that he loses the ability to speak, nearly faints when Bruce just straight up shoves his tongue into his mouth. They end up in one of the coat rooms and Clark thinks that's it, just a one night stand. It sucks that he won't see Bruce again, but the night was amazing and at least he has the memory to treasure, right?

He thinks that right up until he gets to work the next day and two dozen red roses are waiting for him on his desk. There's a handwritten card nestled inbetween the petals and on it is the name of a restaurant along with a date and time. It's signed by Bruce.

And that is how Clark gets together with his celebrity crush.

[walkingencyclopediaofweirdmayo]

Batman is so quiet that he even startles Superman. Clark always jumps and exasperatedly yells at Bruce, "Stop doing that!"

It honestly kind of terrifies the rest of the league that Batman can get the jump on a man with super senses.

One Day Flash asks about it, if Superman has any idea how Batman always manages to sneak up on him.

Clark sheepishly has to explain that he knows Batman’s there, but he doesn't want to hurt his feelings. It wouldn't be nice, so he pretends to be surprised.

[superbat-love]

Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

[dc-comics-lover]

Random things I like to hc :

(here's part 2)

- Constantine calling Batman "love" anytime.

"Good plan, love. Now, if I may add..."

- Diana constantly fighting the urge to add multiple times in the footnotes of her research papers : "*I know that because I was there."

- Clark feeling some type of way whenever anyone from the Batfam calls him Uncle Clark (he does tear up a little the first few times).

- Anytime, Booster would get cancelled for a tweet, he'd go back in time just far enough to prevent from tweeting it. He did that way too many times.

- Barry and Hal being that one best friend duo that are big on PDA. Most of the time during JL meetings, Hal's leg would be intertwined with Barry's.

- Given that the way they usually interact correlates with what he learned about married couples, J'onn assumed for the longest time that Bruce and Clark were spouses.

- Much like how Clark switches off his kansan accent when he's being Superman, Bruce switches off his "posh" accent when he's being Batman.

- On the contrary, Oliver always sounds filthy rich.

- Everytime someone mentions (any) Robin, Hal's mind still can't fathom that Batman's sidekick is a literal child.

- Dick is a bisexual flirt in and out of costume.

- Regular occurence : Batman enters the meeting room, sees Booster's stupid expression that's a clear sign he's going to share very stupid ideas, and Batman exits the room without a word. He doesn't come back for the rest of the meeting. After it happened more than once, some of the members get the clue and walk out as well.

- Superman can recite entire movies by heart. Not surprising in and of itself, but surprising that Bruce silently lets him do it over his shoulder when he's working in the batcave. Lets Clark unwind and gives Bruce background noise.

- After multiple complaints, Batman had to soundproof Dinah and Oliver's room in the watchtower.

[jaeryale]

Bat brothers for the win

Enjoy my silly little pinterest pose inspired fanart of Dick and Damian<3

[incorrectbatfam]

Superbat hcs?

They're constantly referring to each other as "colleagues" even after all this time

One time Bruce comes home brooding more than usual and when asked he's like "I got into a disagreement with someone at the office"

Or Clark triple-checking that his suit and tie look right because he doesn't wanna embarrass himself at a work dinner with Bruce

Clark randomly laughs in the middle of the day at the Daily Planet because of something his co-worker from his second job sent him (it was a picture of Ace)

Bruce randomly buys gifts for Clark for "networking purposes," like Belgian chocolate or a diamond watch band

When Clark is stressed over a deadline Bruce will talk him through it over the phone because that's what colleagues do for each other

When other people ask where they see themselves in 10 years they always mention wanting to be each other's "business partners"

They once shared the same bed at a hotel on a "business trip" because getting two different ones would "go over the budget"

After a particularly bad Justice League mission, Bruce and Clark go for a long stroll together to "regroup" and "think up a new strategy"

They also coordinate Wayne Enterprises and Daily Planet lunch breaks so Clark can fly over to Gotham with the pie that Ma specifically made for Bruce

The Justice League does a holiday gift swap and Diana rigs it so Bruce and Clark get each other, but it backfires on her when they keep separately coming to her for advice as they're panicking about picking the right present

Bruce saved Clark in his contacts as "Colleague <3" and claims the heart is to differentiate him from all the other JL members and WE employees

One time Dick asked Bruce where he was going and Bruce said it was another work meeting with Clark, and Dick was like, "A work meeting in a horse-drawn carriage through the park?" To which Bruce said it was being paid for by Wayne Enterprises and therefore was business-related

Their families got together on Kent Farm for a summer barbecue after they said they had some "big news" to share, which turned out to be the merger between Wayne Enterprises and the Daily Planet. More than one people were left disappointed but Bruce and Clark couldn't figure out why

Clark flies over to Gotham in the mornings to bring Bruce coffee from a place they both like in exchange for Alfred's breakfast pastries

When Bruce is in Metropolis, he sneaks into Clark's office and waits until Clark gets back

Wayne Enterprises branches into the jewelry industry and Bruce gets himself and Clark matching gold rings as part of the "product testing" procedure

On slow patrol nights, they'll meet up on a random rooftop and just talk because "regular updates are vital to business communication"

They practiced how to waltz with each other so they look good in front of others at an upcoming gala

The other heroes have a running bet on how long until they get together, and of course Diana is in the lead

[violent138]

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

[superbatdisasterblog]

Personal superbat headcanon: Bruce is LOUD in bed, and the first time they sleep together Clark is shocked but also so stupidly pleased.

[kiachnishsblog]

Bruce can only sleep if Clark is cuddling him. Bruce is ALWAYS the little spoon and he snuggles up to Clark like a koala. He likes it when Clark’s heater of a body is surrounding him; it makes him feel all toasty and warm. Clark’s pecs and muscles also make the perfect pillow so that is a big plus.

The first time Clark has this happen where Bruce is snuggling up to him he is kinda confused like this is the same man who refers to himself as “vengeance”, but he also loves that Bruce is snuggling up to him so he pulls him closer.

Bruce also sometimes likes resting his head in Clark’s lap after a really hard and draining mission.

[murmeloni]

Bruce and Clark who met as teens/ in their early twenties. They fell in love, had a whirlwind romance cut short by one of them having to leave. They exchange letters or calls for a while but the contact grows sparce over the years - especially once they each start their superhero work - until it stops entirely.

Neither can forget the other but they don't believe they'll ever see each other again and while for Bruce that means never committing to a relationship, Clark tries to move on by being super serious with his partners.

Fast forward until the JL reveals their identities to one another and Clark and Bruce find out that their one that got away is right in front of them again and suddenly they have to confront all these feelings™. Maybe they're both a little bitter or even angry about the cut-off contact and things grow really tense for a while until they finally resolve their issues.

Meanwhile, the JL is just incredibly confused by this telenovela-level drama unfolding in front of them.

[alwaysinnerkryptonite]

Superbat wedding but Jason isn't invited to the public ceremonies (as he is, you know, declared dead for a while now) so he crashes the wedding as Red Hood to spite Batman and ends up taking hostages.

[superbat-love]

Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, I wasn’t expecting a visit this late.

Gordon: My apologies, Bruce, there are some things that I need to talk to you about regarding the Wilson case.

Bruce: No apologies needed, Commissioner. Please, have a seat. Would you like a cup of tea?

Gordon: Tea would be-

Bruce: ?

Gordon:

Bruce: Commissioner?

Gordon:

Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, is everything all right?

Gordon: Bruce, there’s a- there’s a ghost floating down your hallway…

Bruce: [turns to see a sleeping Clark floating horizontally out of his bedroom, wrapped up in his blanket]

Bruce: Oh, that’s just my great-great-granduncle Tom. He’s always haunting this hallway on Thursdays. It’s his weekly chess game, and he never got over that one loss. Poor Uncle Tom…

Gordon:

Bruce: Alfred, why don’t you go and see if Uncle Tom can be persuaded to haunt another hallway instead?

Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.

[avasem]

Someone said Superman flirting with Mr. Wayne, and Batman crushing on Clark Kent.

Did I mention neither of them knows each other secret identity?

Part 2

I have seen a lot of people commenting stuff like "not miraculous again". And I have to say that I had never seen that series. Happy accident I guess haha.