hubbyhusshies

[hubbyhusshies]

Redeeming Oneself

Could it be a common fate among all the living to live up to a point in time, regardless of its day or age, to ponder the cliché question of 'what's the meaning of life'? Is that common in us, or was that thought just so brilliant that it's being fed repeatedly into the minds of every generation, hence validating its importance? Am I arguing about its significance? No, just a mere brush-off the shoulder in lieu of how boring it is to ask that these days. As my favourite answer to that age-old question is simply: 'Death, that's what brings meaning to life.'

Crafting this second paragraph with the intention of bringing somewhat of an extension to the original question, or perhaps to suggest an addition to the many types of meanings one could bring about in their life. My ego would want this to be an original thought, uniquely poured into words, but deep down I know better than to be too proud of this. At some point, I melancholically wish or hope for this entry to be [1] the start of a change or shift in my grasp of reality or paradigm and [2] serve as a legitimate form to the myth (of the existence) of any sort of closure.

One shouldn't be aimless; time is sacred and invaluable. In spite of that, I'd like to believe the horrific concept of a 'hit and run' style of living is a bloody irresponsible way to go through this life. For one to just run on their impulses, lacking the requirement of a second opinion, that YOLO mantra, the damage that it causes in its path. If I may vent, it's been such a long, enduring journey to get here. The exhaustion of getting to a spot where others get right up from the start—must life be unfair and difficult in order to sprout meaning? I never thought I'd get tired of undoing the damage done by others; that's all I'm saying.

As much as I am inflicted, justice for this matter is unattainable. The damage is severe; I don't think any amount of 'Sorry' or any amount of anything for that matter is able to reverse time. So what is it then? What is it that you need? Not to feel better, but to eclipse the hurt, the wrong, the mistake, the damage god damn it. Now (present day), this is where I shifted on my faults, the wrongs I did, the damage I'm accountable for. This was when it spoke to me, I suppose; within me, it echoed: 'Redemption.'

Nobility simply had no room in this; it isn't for the fame; it's most likely aimed at achieving forgiveness. However, the core of the message here is to ultimately redeem oneself: that soul-fulfilling finish line. As much as guts lead to glory, one could never truly earn forgiveness from others due to the ongoing illusion of being able to forgive anyone. Read that again, slowly. 'Sorry,' whether spoken quickly and lightly or deeply heartfelt and agonizing, is just an invitation, after all, to move past the unhinged, together. Whether or not you're in for the ride, your choice to stay put is always not where the aggressor expects you to be.

As these sentences take form, the road of redemption seems to appear out of thin air, in a dark, misty surrounding fog I've been in all this while; brick by brick, it lays a path. As I take these barefoot steps forward, I'm glad that it appears. It answers to a certain state of loss I've been in; I see no reason to hurt now, much less to hate. Hereby committing to making every breath count by speaking more kindly, viewing more compassionately, acting with purpose and responding truthfully. But most important of all, to grow so big it overshadows the old, small, faulty version of my lacking, blind, naive former self.

[hubbyhusshies]

"we really did have everything, didn't we?"

[hubbyhusshies]

of Manifestations.. and more..

First, it sure quite of an experience over the years.. pouring out contexts of thoughts that are seamed with emotions that run deep on the edge of sentimentalism.. i've come to my 100th entry here and like every other post i desire a hint of uncanny perfection.. if not, a circle or a theme at least..

Nothing purposeful.. just a measure of sentence after sentence that would make up a kind of paragraphic magic as i allow myself to reach a state of flow.. describing what i've come to agree just recently, that it all boils down to encapsulating one of the many human experiences.. a personal one that is..

Manifestations.. reviewing the past entries got me bogged down on vague (but vivid) memories of the state of mind i've been in, and how it has affected and produced the many outcomes there were.. as events unfold, our individuality ensues in such of a translation that would result to what is fitting.. and yet we'd simply say it's fated..

What's meant to be - will be.. as if in the grand scheme of the divine, it could only cater for a singular outcome.. know that our spontaneity may hold the key in determining the path forward, but destiny is a being of a hollow space.. and right at its centre, is room for improvement.. a garnishing opportunity always.. There is happiness in certainty and that phrase may associate randomness with bitter, unsavoury or even a sense of distaste.. if there is any consolation to this entry, let me just say that everlasting happiness awaits when you dare to dream of a conditional manifestation rather than an absolute one..

[hubbyhusshies]

Walter: "Who wrote Ozymandias?" David: "Byron." Walter: "Shelley. When one note is off, it eventually destroys the whole symphony, David"

[hubbyhusshies]

Fangs

The bitterness of the world has it’s scale, one that would lead to vengeance can come simply from an insult by someone you opened up your heart to. It’s not a matter of one sided love or unkindled romance, it’s the obvious takeaway from a person’s perception towards you that hits your insecurities real close to home. It’s truly noble for a person to always give the benefit of the doubt, to be open and kind up to a point that it fogs their judgement. But when the dog bites and you can smell how difficult it is in the air, it’s time to flash a grin and ready to spit your venom. We ask for none of this, there is a version of heaven and hell in every soul. Undeniably, kindness begets kindness and evil begets evil. It is not an act of subjecting oneself to be at the same level down below as their menace, it’s just a riot of injustice when kindness is returned with evil. It’s never about breaking the chain of evil, an actual bitter taste in return ought to give the dog a bit sense of clarity.

[hubbyhusshies]

“We cling to memories as if they define us, but they really don't. What we do is what defines us...”

[hubbyhusshies]

Ashes

The past.. as it burns over the course of this lifetime I get to realize how it shapes the very presence of this day. The uniqueness of it’s quality may possess a pattern of some sort but undeniably it is truly personal..

The day would come in the future how I would admit the processing of the past do took up a bloody long period. I do criticize myself as being selfish for not telling the story in the moment or being weak even, for requiring a long recovery..

As circumstances unfolds itself in it’s purest form, there is only one explanation: there’s just more to life. A state of being rather than just putting on a show, especially for an audience that is both toxic and ill inducing.

There are endless questions, big and small. Reflecting on the ones that matters can really jolt you to a state of woke, like why would you want to continue feeding the ugly ignorance of a person? I wouldn’t vouch for that. 

Again, as it burns over the course of this lifetime. Know that it wasn’t all for nothing.

[hubbyhusshies]

“You’re imagination is a muscle... use it or lose it...”

[hubbyhusshies]

Hazard Reflections

We take actions as to reflect on something, and by staying idle… unfortunately it’s a choice/action by default and therefore it does somehow reflect as well. To put it simply : actions equals consequences but also not taking actions will still equal to some form of consequences. When we take actions, our motion as it grows we bend it’s fashion, directions, overcome obstacles, take a shortcut perhaps just to reach a specific goal. But when we don’t take actions (with no goals in mind) , in human connection, you’re just a mirror to others. The self esteem in this matter when looking in this mirror is the level of insecurities and the level of doubts one could have. A positive mind would have a secure outlook that nothing is wrong and a negative one would create unnecessary tensions and almost imaginary in fact. I guess it’s a cruel ploy to inflict this on someone, to become this mirror. By staying idle, the consequences are unpredictable as you place your human connection in the hands of luck. But, like unnecessary tensions - why do we create unnecessary commitments? Somehow, why do we owe an explanation in doing nothing? They say an idle mind is a devil’s workshop, but litlle did I know.. even when your faith is in check… your idle mind could still be the devil’s workshop for the people around you. 

[hubbyhusshies]

people believe what they wanna believe, the guy who made this was so GOOD that he's real to everybody.. now who’s the Master? the Painter? or the Forger?

[hubbyhusshies]

Gautama Buddha

As stated on my first find on the net : “the birth, enlightenment and the death of Gautama Buddha”. Today has been made a holiday to the public in the remembrance of this very significance. Thus, Happy Vesak Day.

Buddha has always been a figure of peace and wisdom, in every underlying statements we use with reference to his teaching only makes him a figure we couldn’t live up to. In celebrating enlightenment and human insight, today I’d like to speak on the perception of truth.

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” - Buddha

Speaking in today’s relativity, with how things are today one should not be too naive to know that things aren’t always what they seem. The moment they do, the countdown to it’s expiry date starts ticking before you know it. When it comes to knowing the real truth, to expand the quote simply - it’s inevitable. To agree on what is bound to happen, one way or another. Some of us would mask it well compromising, but all we do is just delaying a timebomb.

They may say the truth will set you free. But which truth interest you most?

[hubbyhusshies]

“yes.. yes i believe we are all as god made us.. but i also believe He doesn’t have to lead our lives... he doesn’t have to walk in our shoes.. where i’m getting at is... god wouldn’t had given us this amazing brains we got if he didn’t expect at some point that we were gonna start using it to make our own decisions... to exercise our free will..”

[hubbyhusshies]

Imprints

Who we aspire to be at times, with who or what we had became in reality can be a cruel testament yes. But were we any different when we aspire? What was once understood within us that we could choose the life of any kind in this world, where had it go?

Stations.. call it a stopover or whatever. It could be anything, a comfort zone, an illusion, a distraction perhaps. We're all at our very place everytime, but unlike our aspirations. Stations can never be our imprints.

Take a chance in revisiting what we were, once upon a time. With age that makes us wiser, why had it ironically evolved us into someone who would settle in a version much less? The imprints of the aspiring soul we once had in ourselves.. Where had it go? I'd say.. Not really far..

[hubbyhusshies]

“tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go..“ - “let go..“

[hubbyhusshies]

Cool

I suppose that I was reluctant to share and by doing so I figure it was far better off that way. You see, I wasn’t born visually impaired or utterly deaf with what was going on. I just had this understanding within myself that mute is a choice. A better one perhaps. Within that process of decision making, I had only one word in mind.. ‘Cool’

Maybe.. just maybe some of the insecurities in the past leveraged the notion ‘do what you must, for as long as it’s the opposite of lame’. Or maybe it had something to do with the way I was brought up I really don’t know for sure. But little did I know, that wasn’t the case at all. I’ll be lying to myself and god if I say it didn’t really matter.

What’s going on with the world? Not my world in particular, OUR world. Must we really succumb to a way of life where the strong eats while the weak is meat? Must we all feed off each others pain sadistically in order to function? Has that become a way of life these days?

No matter how much karma-related quotes and understandings dished to us every day some people just doesn’t seem to get it. Doesn’t matter if you’re a father to one or a mother to be, is there no reason or purpose at all to have compassion? Either way, I believe it’s normal to lose hope in some particular people and I am happy to settle with the fact that hate as a whole is what they have become.

In the simplicity of my actions, a principle : keep unpleasant things short. Be kind to one another. Well see, you can have a taste for sadistic views or opinion. But is it a quest to be qualified as one with the need to inflict pain on others? Right before you think it’s cool to do so. Realize how lame that is.

[hubbyhusshies]

“and we created factions.. to ensure peace..”

[hubbyhusshies]

The Human Factory

Unspoken yet very lethal, at least that's how i'm gonna put it for now... it's never the same of how we processes things, we're all uniquely different from each other.. and i'm here just putting something on the table so do kindly feel free..

The mind is already imaginary as it can be, I must say that the more you play with it. You'll be paving your way into an idle condition, where the stagnant of it simply calls for a 100% of bad business.

Overthinking expands you to a whole new universe, where possibilities and probabilities connects and strengthen the bond they hold on to. It lures by the perception of an urgency of some sort, and once you're on the ride the only way out is to eject yourself in mid air.

Having it to be such a loyal companion for years now, I wish not to disgrace what used to be my other half. Of all the streams of thought which was going on, one was significant as it justify the mind as the governor of all happiness.

So what does this mean? Will I run free? What's the point of all these? I must say that no matter how fast it runs in your head, no matter how free you let it go.. put them on a leash. With the condition of the world today, you can't afford to be pulled astray again and again.