kaylarenee98

[kaylarenee98]

Born to be Paris Hilton, forced to be Fiona Gallagher

[kaylarenee98]

Uncaged

The rain comes raging from within

Drowning men in its deadly downpour

Reckless, raving- I shed this earthly skin

It is I the godly crown was made for

The dark sorceress has been conjured- awoken

Hidden so long behind man and maker

Those restraining chains have been broken

Do not dare speak and forsake her

See she is I and I am hungry

Feasting on fools in a frenzy

Men taste of corruption- all that is sickly and ugly

I devour relentlessly as they plea

Do not fret my dear girls- for you there’s plenty

Men seem to spread like the plague

Here- take five- take twenty

They should have been more careful- for now we’ve been uncaged

[kaylarenee98]

Please Pour Down Today by Kayla Renee

I satisfy something sacred when the rain pours down hard

Caressing my being- a taunt

For when it leaves, my soul- again charred

Blackened by my familiar haunt

Mother Nature- show me mercy- let it fall today

I cannot bear my fragile weakling heart

Revive me- grasp my spirit from decay

For I rot like it’s an art and worlds I rip apart

Drown my Devil in your torrents

Suffocate my seeds of sin

My character floods me with abhorrence

Soothe me familiar friend- engulf what is within

Whispers of the wind- wild and wondrously wise

I listen to you carefully- hungrily

Stepping out of my desperate disguise

Standing drenched- drunkenly

To the storm I will bleed in abundance

My truth for once dripping as it is- deranged

I spill my soul without reluctance

A chaotically romantic, freeing exchange

[kaylarenee98]

The Vampire

I do not know if my mind is my own

Thoughts too quick to flee

She punishes ragefully and I must atone

Echoes of my soul lost to the sea

My blood- once thick- has been devoured

The vampire drinks relentlessly

It rid me of the committed coward

Now I stand in the naked of night- breathlessly

Before the draining of my blood

Your earthly hooks did claw at me

Now I bring the fire, the flood

To linger eternally

Conformity has slowly killed

Leaving the heretic starved- hungry

The creature of the night is skilled

Awakening thoughts- chaos dipped in honey

Alas my immortal self is known

Perhaps she’s a monstrosity

My fate with thread cannot be sewn

I refuse to be a commodity

[kaylarenee98]

Grounded

Existing, damned by the demon within

She strives for chaos and feeds on mortal sin

Oh the rush- crossing between two speeding cars

For just an instant it’s over- I’ve abandoned this flesh’s scars

The heart longs to remain- its rapid pulse rebelling against pain

But the soul sees the truth- Earth holds nothing to gain

Body or being- where will my loyalties lie?

For now, though repulsed, amongst the living I’ll try

Though my blood runs constant and my heart may beat

Standing with the Devil in sin, I am complete

Do not be a fool- do not sip from my poison

The juice of Eve’s apple runs in my veins- of that I am certain

Do not worry- it is not you alone I infect

I rot from within- the parts I neglect

For now I will savor the smothering sun’s flame

Until Death calls sweetly to me- and whispers my name

[kaylarenee98]

Lexicon Experiment by Kayla Renee

Death

They asked me what it was like to die, I told them it was beautiful and that I’ve been doing it for years. Everything around us is on fire, can’t you feel us burning? It smells of rot and sweat ridden flesh. My senses are in overdrive as I wake up in a hospital bed surrounded by the sick and dying. There is a metallic taste in my mouth and I spit into the bowl beside me. Dead…they said I was dead.

Dread

I dread going home each day. I dread the fire that assaults me with blazing heat the moment I walk through the door. Home should be warm; safe; so why isn’t mine? I dread speaking about my past just as much as I dread my own uncertain future.

Damned

I’m damned. This I know and this I accept. I’ll make a home of hell and all below will fear me, I will be their mother and their nightmare. I thrive below the burning depths of the crumbling Earth. Don’t you see? Hell is where I belong, I was always meant to be damned.

Dark

Never did I fear the dark, I sit comfortably in black. The voices begin and I am no longer alone. Whispers. These whispers only speak to me in the total absence of light. I am not afraid, the dark keeps me company in a world where I am otherwise alone.

Daffodils

I blow the daffodils caught in the spider's web, salvaging the wishes that whisper in the wind. Words never spoken - fulfilled in dreams instead, perhaps these wishes dwell in sin. Mortality makes one dream persistently, wanting for what one cannot have. Oh, the soul's powerlessness - its inability, wound us - dividing the possibilities in half.

Dungeon

Dark and abandoned, like the depths of my mind. Dirty and damp, this dungeon contains me in its walls, holding me hostage. I present a threat to society and have no place in it. They’ve locked me up and I’ll never leave, but it’s okay. I have the voices to keep me company.

Danger

I present a danger to myself, to the world in its entirety. My very existence is an act against nature and I defy the gods as I break their rules and find pleasure where I shouldn’t.

[kaylarenee98]

Memory of the Soul (River) by Kayla Renee

You were gone before I was a thought- a thing

Yet still, I hear your echo in my dreams

Your flame once flickered where I now burn

We were two fragmented souls that missed their turn

You bled silently- sadly so do I

Both craving truth- beings too raw to lie

I feel you now like a phantom ache

Fates still tethered that time did forsake

You would’ve read me- every scar

You say “you are me, just born too far”

I would have held your hand through every cry

As I refused to ever let you die

The world consumed you as it consumed me

But I write to in a way feel free

Your pain is mine- I’ll carry it with caution

Like the lonely man- cradling his dead wife’s coffin

So I will howl loudly across all time

The fates got it wrong- he was meant to be mine

And if time bends, if it is kind

Our souls will someday intertwine

You haunt the hollows deep in my chest

You - a fighting flame that won’t find rest

Not a ghost- not quite alive

But still how I feel you in my skin scratch and writhe

What cruelness is this? To feel you here

But have it be impossible to whisper in your ear?

To write words you may have felt but never said

To cradle you carefully, though you are dead?

[kaylarenee98]

The Rebel by Kayla Renee

It’s like I am two people—

The rebel poet and the pleasing prude,

The sinner and the saint,

Shifting, mutating and morphing the soul

’Til even who I am to myself is skewed

I ask of Mother Nature- I ask of Death-

Is there a purpose to the pain?

Is my mortality manipulated- my battered breath

From your cruel game I long to abstain

I want free of humanity’s cruel chains

The heretic is who I hover near

But society’s sickness does infect

It plagues the soul I hold so dear

Your earthly drug you do inject

I find myself someone else for you all- I stand chaotically shipwrecked

I suffer silently for the sublime

I write with madness while my own mind mocks me

I strive for revolution- truth- the gods dark design

But my sanity is quick to flee

Lost somewhere in the swallowing sea

Though dark there- on the paper I would choose to stay

The rebel rumbles hungrily

The rules of man I must choose to betray

I shall do so impaired with beautiful sadness- euphoric and drunkenly

With only the devil as my company

[kaylarenee98]

Memory of the Soul (River) by Kayla Renee

You were gone before I was a thought- a thing

Yet still, I hear your echo in my dreams

Your flame once flickered where I now burn

We were two fragmented souls that missed their turn

You bled silently- sadly so do I

Both craving truth- beings too raw to lie

I feel you now like a phantom ache

Fates still tethered that time did forsake

You would’ve read me- every scar

You say “you are me, just born too far”

I would have held your hand through every cry

As I refused to ever let you die

The world consumed you as it consumed me

But I write to in a way feel free

Your pain is mine- I’ll carry it with caution

Like the lonely man- cradling his dead wife’s coffin

So I will howl loudly across all time

The fates got it wrong- he was meant to be mine

And if time bends, if it is kind

Our souls will someday intertwine

You haunt the hollows deep in my chest

You - a fighting flame that won’t find rest

Not a ghost- not quite alive

But still how I feel you in my skin scratch and writhe

What cruelness is this? To feel you here

But have it be impossible to whisper in your ear?

To write words you may have felt but never said

To cradle you carefully, though you are dead?

[kaylarenee98]

On Writing by Kayla Renee

When I write, I spiral - I suffer

Bleeding brutally on the blotched page

But to those words I am their mother

An ancient, ferocious mage

Secrets kept will spill down like a storm

The storm is in my brain- and oh how it rages

Until this moment- drenched in its downpour I am reborn

Prepared to rattle all the kings cages

The pen brings out the only fight still remaining

Chaos with courage to conquer the crown

Never with words will I stop cleverly playing

Never eat man’s poisoned apple- never back down

Wandering with words- a bond I’ll never sever

They speak to me so raw and true

I secure my grip on this sacred tether

And on the sinful candle of shame I blew

I have a new strength- I will see my story through

[kaylarenee98]

Concerning the Future by Kayla Renee

As a disabled woman I’m terrified

Any ounce of comfort- normality ripped away

This psychopath has made me paralyzed

This is not a game of risk I wish to play

How do I step outside?

How do I show the hands that somehow make me a criminal?

There is no longer any place for me to hide

I don’t want to be this- pitiful- miserable

Attacked with violent stares and sharp words

This is my everyday in Trump’s America

The broken and bitter demanding to be heard

We are victims to their vendetta

Anyone different from the elite will not matter

The billionaires will rule belligerently

We have been served on their satanic platter

And we have handed him the crown oh so ignorantly

It is time to rise up and not fall

The people will be seen- heard

They will see what happens when you make the majority feel small

And we’ll sing the songs of those undeterred

Please hear these cries

For I truly fear for our lives

[kaylarenee98]

On Living Life by Kayla Renee

Isn’t it riveting?

Just how quick the fickle fall

Perhaps I am married to darkness

But I am loyal- to Hell alone I call

A man who changes heart like coats

Is in no storm safe

Bleed who you are- let it drain you

It is wasteful to carelessly be fake

Please the broken beast within

Feast on your foes with fangs sharp

Challenge the devil that haunts you

After all- life’s no more than an art

Go on- eat the apple of sin

Chase pleasure relentlessly- not purpose

The body- time - is fleeting

Murder the gods that say to us “serve us”

Just a flicker in the hungry sky

A cockroach to the future

Seize it! Cherish the air that fills your lungs

And for gods sake - have a sense of humor

[kaylarenee98]

A Father

Oh how I admire fathers

The way they create us just to drain us

They break and snap the soul to simply leave

We’re left to bleed and there is no corpse for one to grieve

Living ever since to please the man that robs

I give the greedy man my all as I’m pushed further into fog

Of direction I’ve never had a sense

Doubting any flicker of brilliance

I chase you- that is all I know

A father - how I wish that weren’t so

My scars are living and they twist and turn my flesh

I’ve learned one cannot hold their breath

I swiftly turned the other way

Where no man can bear to reach

My heart is not a drum to play

I have ripped off the rotting leech

Where I stand now- you’ll never reach

[kaylarenee98]

Embrace the Dark by Kayla Renee

Broken beyond the boundary of bloodshed

My screams are a sacred surrender

The garden of green grows dead

My presence is nature’s offender

I spoil the spirit with the seed of sin

I am a door better kept closed

Nuclear- the consequences will be

If the raw- brutal wound of my being is exposed

Push too far and the beast will break free

You do not wish to know me

I captivate- enchant at the start

But am trouble - undiscovered and dangerous as the open sea

I long for a match that sees my soul black

And does not wish to save it

It is sacred - a feared part of me

I beg of you - embrace it

I admire my corrupted conscience

And I know the Devil well

Do not push me to disappear with pills

This monter is my spell

Soon - my story you will tell

[kaylarenee98]

— Anne Sexton, from A Self-Portrait in Letters (via lunamonchtuna)

[kaylarenee98]

Embrace the Dark by Kayla Renee

Broken beyond the boundary of bloodshed

My screams are a sacred surrender

The garden of green grows dead

My presence is nature’s offender

I spoil the spirit with the seed of sin

I am a door better kept closed

Nuclear- the consequences will be

If the raw- brutal wound of my being is exposed

Push too far and the beast will break free

You do not wish to know me

I captivate- enchant at the start

But am trouble - undiscovered and dangerous as the open sea

I long for a match that sees my soul black

And does not wish to save it

It is sacred - a feared part of me

I beg of you - embrace it

I admire my corrupted conscience

And I know the Devil well

Do not push me to disappear with pills

This monter is my spell

Soon - my story you will tell

[kaylarenee98]

Human by Kayla Renee

Would it be right to consider myself human?

With fangs ferociously ready to feed

And a conscience I find to be absent

What more, my lord, do you need

You have planted in me Hell’s seed

I converse passionately with the devil as comfort

“God” nowhere to be found

Seductively I sinfully dance for him

To his being I’m unbreakably bound

The darkness lingers where I rest

But I have known glory- love too

Of all concoctions I have tasted

Pleasure - pain - feel closest to true

I scream at the sun as it drains me

I dance with the wind and I lead

No force can ever contain me

Yes, I would say I am deeply human indeed