Enthusiast of all animals -- extant, extinct, fictional. Professional autist, unprofessional artist. Pronouns: he/him. Cis/demi/pan. Enjoys creative writing on occasion. Especially likes axolotls and emus.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Always be yourself.
Unless you can be a sparkledog.
Then, always be a sparkledog.
#shitpost#humor#pride month#lqbtqia#furry#lgbtq furry#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neurogender#neuroqueer#panseuxal
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Blueberry and whipped cream pancakes are my spirit animal.
#no i will not be providing context thank you very much#lgbtqia#actually autistic#pride month#queer pride#demisexual#pansexual#shower thoughts#neurogender#humor#humour#still not struck by the eye of sauron i mean pmseymour#pmseymourva#hubris#lgbtq#itsapmseymour
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I don't know who needs to hear this today, but:
The first year boats in Harry Potter that seemed to move on their own? Yeah, they were being propelled by the giant squid. That's why the squid always seemed to be in the lake year after year and why a tentacle put young Creevy back in the boat when he fell overboard.
Please do what you will with this information.
#only took me what 15 years to realize this#inspiration#humor#death of the author#harry potter#literature#books#reading#still safe from pmseymour reads#pmseymourva#humour#fridge logic#showeer thoughts#shower thoughts#i saw that tag but no I'm not going to fix it#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#myths and legends#folklore#ok i think im done
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Hardest hitting quote I've heard in ages:
"I'm not much of a romantic, and I think that nostalgia is basically a form of depression...."
#esoterica on youtube#esoterica#gnosticism#early christianity#history#biblical scholarship#ancient near east#philosophy#depression#nostalgia#literature
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Stressful day at work. Coworker told me they were close to a mental breakdown. I told them,
"Do you know what you get when you disassemble a lunch box? A bento makedown."
They silently pointed toward the door.
#but they did chuckle a bit too#this is how my brain works#echolalia#autistic adult#actually autistic#autism#humor#neurodivergent
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2025 vibes:
"Excuse me, what song are you listening to?"
*Fumbles with headphones... What?
"What song?"
* Oh, uh, "Hostile Government Takeover EDM Remix" by AGiftFromTodd
"Thanks my friend"
*cheers
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When I get turned loose on the dating scene...
...call that pan-demi-onium!
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You are the apple of my eye.
I'm your teacher.
You're my student.
Also known as my pupil.
#also apple is singular because I happen to be Odin in this scenario#humor#humour#idioms#shower thoughts
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Ladies, gents, and other idents!
It's time for this week's original animal humor™!
Featured animal this month: AXOLOTL!!!
Ba ba ba BA!!!!
What did the frog say to the salamander when asked to do the laundry?
"Geez buddy, you sure do axolotl of this relationship!"
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you as well!
Tune in again for more witty Original Animal Humor (not actually trademarked).
#animal#animals#animal humor#humor#humour#pun#pun humor#dad humor#dad jokes#dad jokes weekly#tm#trademark#not actually trademarked#actually autistic#help im stuck in the tumblrweeds
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What I want my friends to say if I have a meltdown in public 😅

#actually autistic#humor#late diagnosed autistic#autistic adult#high masking autism#spoon theory#autistic meltdown#autistic professional#gallows humor#ymmv#why cry when i can laugh#memetic coping#mental health
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Pretty sure this is already how voting works.
Is it bad that if you were running for president, I'd vote for you just so see what you would do in office because of your hilarious shenanigans? What would you do if you ever became the president?
I’d do hilarious silly little shenanigans like executing the oligarchy live on television
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Ladies, gents, and other idents!
It's time for this week's original animal humor™!
Featured animal this month: AXOLOTL!!!
Ahem:
What do you call a chibi axolotl?
An axolittle!!!
Tune in again next time for more sparkling animal humour content.
#animal#animals#axolotol#axolotls#humor#humour#actually autistic#special interest#dad humor#pun#pun humor#positive thoughts#pmseymourva#pm seymour infected me with the tumblritis pls help#itsapmseymour#i have no mouth and i must pun#trademark#not actually trademarked#have a great day
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Ironically, the word "perspicuous" means "easy to understand."
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**Waves some jedi ninja hand sigils:
"These ARE the data you are looking for!"
the phantom of the opera and the hunchback of notre dame? opposite ends of same spectrum
#lotr#lord of the rings#jrr tolkien#tmnt#saruman#minas ithil#phantom of the opera#the hunchback of notre dame#geometry#graphs#visual data#statistics#statistical analysis#rigorous analysis#these are the data you are looking for#beauty and the beast#fairy tales#Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve#whatthefolklore#jedi#naruto
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The road goes ever on and on.....
#lord of the rings#lotr#jrr tolkien#the hobbit#bilbo baggins#humour#meme humor#humor#halfling#hobbits#hobbitses#barefoot lifestyle
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It's been said sooo much before, but truly, we don't deserve dogs. (Or better yet, working to be deserving of them should make us better people.)
Snuffling up to us whenever we get back, like:
"Ahoy human, let me investigate your biochemical aura. You know, so that...
<sniff sniff >
... I can tell where you've been
<sniff sniff >
... and who you've been with
<sniff sniff >
... and check whether you're ok
<sniff sniff >
... and see whether you have any emotional needs I can meet
<sniff sniff >
... and whether you have any cheeto dust on your fingers.
...
...
...
... Belly rub?"
And this all happens in like 3.274 seconds. Ordinary miracle if you ask me!
#dogs#doggo#pets#chicken soup for the overstimulated soul#emotional support#empathy#love#self care#well actually reciprocal care but you know what I mean#mutualism#found family#mental health#wellness#nontoxic positivity#positive thoughts#shower thoughts#mans best friend#ahem#humanitys best friend#10000 year friendship
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